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#<- inserting him everywhere like my life depends on it

screeblees · 8 months

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Angry ! Yandere x Comfort ! Reader Headcanons

Angry ! Yandere is Male and Reader is Gender Neutral

I used three quotes from @aonungstoefungus post “Yandere Prompts” you can see here. I really liked all their prompts!

Find my Masterlist here !

Please enjoy!! <33

❥ Angry ! Yandere who spent his life filled with anger always raging just beneath the surface of his skin, resting right under the boiling point.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who blew up rather often in his youth, fighting his peers like there’s no tomorrow, swinging fists and rocks and gripping his opponents hair in his hands. By the time they were pulled apart, the other was almost always left with a black eye or a broken nose at the least.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who tried every breathing exercise, every meditation method, every mindfulness activity, every health coping habit, every anger management program, every “calming” drug he could get, every single thing he could find. Yet nothing, nothing, ever helped.

Until you came along…

❥ Angry ! Yandere who felt a blanket of soothing fall over him the very first time he heard you speak in your almost melodic voice - melodic to him at least, it worked on him so why would anyone else’s opinion matter?

❥ Angry ! Yandere who feels the overwhelming need to be in your presence otherwise risking himself only becoming more irritable (than he normally is). Even if you don’t know he’s there, it still helps to just listen.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who became aware that it isn’t just your voice but you, as a whole; your scent, your voice, your tone, your kind demeanour, your actions, your expressions, just you in your entirety. And he can’t get enough.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who is known for his barbarian behaviour at any perceived slight done towards him. This infamous reputation helping to ensure most steer clear of him, even you, at first. Although you tried to avoid him, it seemed like he was everywhere you went, even places he’d never dared to go before, even out-of-character for him to be in. ( “What’re you lookin’ at?” )

❥ Angry ! Yandere who was pleased when you eventually accepted that he was just everywhere you went and weren’t even cold towards him when he approached you for himself instead of eavesdropping on all your conversations or creepily watching from afar! Or maybe you were just too scared to talk back to him in fear of pissing him off and being at the receiving end of his violence. Oh well, you’d accepted him now.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who realises it isn’t just tranquillity that he feels around you - his heart now feels like it would burst out his chest and for once it wouldn’t be in anger, but in absolute obsession. Of course he’d like to call it love but he knows it is more than that, you are the air he had gone so long without and had now taken a breath of, you are the balance and stability he had never had in his life, in fact, you are his life, his whole world. He’s even waxing poetica in his head for you, that’s how lovesick you make him.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who began recording you talk whenever he’s close enough for a microphone to pick up. Listening to his library of you to keep his head level all day, and to get to sleep at night (among other nightly activities).

❥ Angry ! Yandere who is very forward about wanting to be your friend, inserting himself into conversations and making a point to talk to you at some point every day - the times you speak directly to him helping them feel the most soothed he’d been in a long time.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who’s volatile mood is entirely dependent on you; if you give him your full attention and maybe even a smile then he’ll go about like he’s the most peaceful, untroubled soul around, barely anything will change his mood (other than you, of course) - on the other hand, if you give him minimum attention or he can’t find you, he’ll be twice as furious and violent as his worst day before you came along. So although you could make him seem like a steady, quiet person and bring out the best in him, you also have the potential to turn him into hell’s own with the suffering that will be caused by him for the rest of the day, maybe even the rest of the week.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who scared most of your friends away, leaving you rather isolated from your peers and only more open to him hanging out with you during the school day. Your remaining friends either being entirely online or skittering away at the sight of him, neither of which he really minded as they made way for him.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who was ecstatic to find that you even talk in your sleep, taking great joy in visiting you when you’re deep in REM sleep just to listen to your sleepy mumbles, and if he’s feeling brave he may hold your hand. He found comfort in knowing that no-one else got to listen to you whisper what he likes to call sweet nothings. (They’re for him and only him.)

❥ Angry ! Yandere who seethed when he saw someone take interest in you. Who the fuck did they think they were. The next time you saw them they’d been beaten black and blue and avoided you like you’d give them the plague. (No-one gets to have you but him.)

❥ Angry ! Yandere who eventually realises the only way for him to really have you is to take you.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who follows you home one night and just sweeps you off the street, he’s truly sorry for being rough with you but it was for your own good, you needed to be home with them and there was no way you’d come willingly and you would not want to see how irritated that would make him.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who’s furnished basement was just the perfect place to keep you, he’d cleaned up the place and made sure it was escape-proofed and child-proofed. He wouldn’t want his sole source of comfort going through unnecessary harm (or having the tools to leave him).

❥ Angry ! Yandere who was on a high after bringing you home knocked-out, tied up and blindfolded for extra safety, which broke almost as soon as you woke up. Your scared, timid voice was endearing at first, but he grew irritated once you began screaming and crying and making your throat go hoarse (despite your intense fear).

❥ Angry ! Yandere who had previously planned to be lenient with you realised that was not going to work. Clearly you needed strict rules, boundaries and schedule and so he would supply you that, some of said rules being;

Speak when spoken to

No even trying to escape

Be respectful

Don’t dare hide anything

Speak like you did before

Answer calls on the first ring

If you want something, ask for it

Don’t flinch away

Stop fucking shaking

Accept your punishments

Don’t run.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who grows sharp with you, finding himself having to punish you far more than he’d thought within your first few weeks together. Maybe being even a little sadistic in his retaliation… ( “What, you thought you were just gonna get away with that?” )

❥ Angry ! Yandere who found himself mocking and insulting you in response to your shying away from him or showing your fear of him, especially before and during punishments in which you would shake. ( “Aw, you gonna cry? Go ahead, its not gonna change anything.” )

❥ Angry ! Yandere who always felt much better after taking his anger out on you during punishments, then lovebombed you with his gifts and touch. The gifts could range anywhere from something he stole from your house to something really nice he bought with his own (partially stolen) money. He really enjoys having an arm around your waist or shoulders or a hand on your wrist or thigh (or even your neck), he loves you being in reach of him and it makes him feel secure to grasp onto you, to have you grounding him. (Even if he’s a little strong on the grasping).

❥ Angry ! Yandere who believed himself to have semi-successfully trained you to behave for him, to stop trying to hide and escape and rebel, but still, any hint of your mind straying from being a good soother for him pushed him to the boiling point, spitting threats promises at you of what would happen if you continued that line of thinking. ( “Don’t even fucking look at the door. I am trying to have some faith in you after all.” )

❥ Angry ! Yandere who enjoys spending hours downloading content for you to consume and talk to him about (once you’d accepted your situation). He asks probing questions just to hear you talk more and loves having you as his own personal sleep aid asmr and podcast throughout the day, urging you to rant to him once he comes home each night as he cuddles you in your chosen seating, whether that be the couch, the bed or even the floor.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who finds classmates remarking on the consistent calmness he presents in himself now that he has you all to himself all safe at home with your melody on speed-dial. After all, you and your calming aura is all for him and only him to enjoy, how much happier could he be…?

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 3 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/burst-of-iridescent/740787422094376960/i-love-how-aangs-fans-want-so-badly-to-defend-and

Your thoughts?

Let's go through it by parts

"Aang is a monk, he shouldn't date/get married/have kids"

Aang is the LAST airbender. The LAST air-nomad. Even if he had made some vow of celibacy/not having kids/not getting married (which was never confirmed or even hinted at by the show), he made it under the assumption that this would affect solely his life, not result in the death of his entire culture once he passed away.

Much like he was given a pass to kill Ozai, he would also be given a pass to break his celibacy vow - which the show never says he made in the first place.

"The Air-nomads are not one to one with Tibetan monks, it makes no sense to get hung up on the pacism"

They are not one-to-one, much the other nations. But the Water Tribes are still indigenous people living in the poles, the Earth Kingdom is known for a great wall and there's a "made in Earth Kingdom joke", the Fire Nation has sun imagery everywhere, and air nomads are even meant to visually resemble tibetan monks.

More importantly, the show made sure to highlight that, to the nomads, pacifism IS a big part of their culture and belief system, and that Aang feels very conflicted over wanting to save the world but not liking the way he's expected to just disregard everything he was taught his whole life.

Comparing "Aang is a (tibetan) monk, therefore he is a pacifist so killing would be against his beliefs" to "Aang is a (tibetan) monk, therefore he shouldn't be dating" is absurd because, yes, Avatar did choose what parts of tibetan culture would be carried over to the story, and only ONE of these made the cut.

When people complay about "People are disgarding the fact that Aang was raised to be a pacifist when they expect him to just be cool with killing Ozai" they are not saying that because "Well, a tibetan monk wouldn't do that", they are saying it because CANONICALLY, Aang's air-nomad culture would be against it.

"Being critical of the air-nomad culture is not the same as disrespecting Tibet's culture"

This one is only truth depending on the circumstance.

Obviously being critical of something the air-nomads do, but the tibetan monks don't, is not racist against real people, nor is it racist in the first place if the criticism isn't fully based on "That's not how MY culture does things, therefore it's bad."

Being critical of something both air-nomads and real life tibetan monks do is automatically being critical of both, though obviously there's a difference between "I don't agree with this belief" and "I hate this entire group of people" (for exemple, saying "I hate the Fire Nation's imperialism because of all the suffering it caused, which was clearly inspired by Japan's imperialistic past that was also attrocious" is very different from saying "I hate japanese people").

Being "critical" of something both air-nomads and real life tibetan monks do because you're going out of your way to misrespresent their beliefs, and you talk about the air-nomads the way people who are prejudiced against Tibetan culture talk about them (which a lot of people in this fandom do without even realizing) IS very fucking racist against a real life group of people.

Again, to make the distinction clear, there's a difference between "I dislike this character who happens to be black" or even "I dislike this black character because the writers were racist, intentionally or accidentally, and thus made him an objectively poorly written character that I don't like seeing on screen" and "I hate this character because he is (insert racist belief against black people here)."

So yeah, A LOT of the hate towards Aang, especifically regarding his pacifism, comes from people being genuinely racist, and pointing that out is not absurd just because "Well, he technically isn't a Tibetan monk. He just looks like one, has plenty of the beliefs and traditions of one, the narrative largely treats him as one, and the audience is clearly excected to see him as such."

#anti zutara #pro kataang #pro aang #atla fandom problems #fandom racism

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sugawhaaa · 10 months

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Lee Minho one-shot

Back stage

🎤Pairing::Dom!Minho x fem!sub!reader

💫Warnings::smut

🌹Genere::fingering, public sex, rushed sex, pinning, cumming in clothes.

A/N:: This is so short and I'm sorry 😭 but I'm finally out of school for two months so I will hopefully have more time to write!

Songs to listen to while reading::

"Minho!" You said in frustration as Minho ignored you. Currently, you are backstage with Lee Know as STAY is doing the fanchant, awaiting an encore. Stray kids had at most 20 minutes to change, get their hair topped up along with their makeup and Minho was just not co-operating. He was changing in front of you right now, but he was still ignoring your presence. "Minho what is up with you!" You said as you clenched onto a can of hairspray in your hand. "Why aren't you looking at me?" You said worriedly.

Lee know then turned around to you and slammed his hands against the wall, pinning you up against the cold wall. You dropped the can in your hands as he played with strands of your hair. "M-minho?" You said nervously as you stared into his lustful eyes. He kept on ignoring you as he observed your hair.

"We can make this fast," he said as he took off your jacket. He did it so suddenly and quickly you didn't even have the time to resist.

"You have to go back on stage in like 15 minutes!" You explained as he threw off his leather jacket.

"Exaclty." After he stated that he slammed his lips into yours roaming his fingers through your hair as his tongue ventured around your mouth. You felt your body loosen as his hands moved around your waist. You broke away from the passionate kiss and he instantly went to your neck and started leaving hickies everywhere. His hands found their way to the waistband of your pants, then slowly moved over to the button of your jeans.

"Minho, they're screaming out there. The members might have already gone out there!" You whimpered between moans.

"You're the only person I want to hear screaming." He said as he unbuttoned your jeans and pulled down the zipper. He slid his hand down your pants and started teasing your clit. Broken moans escaped your lips as your body moved subconsciously trying to feel relief. Due to such little time Minho quickly put both of his fingers inside you instantly with his rings still on, making you moan out louder than you intended. Meanwhile his mouth nibbled at your jaw. You put your hands up to his chest, grabbing at his shirt, clawing it like your life depended on it. Distorted whimpers filled the room as his fingers went deeper. He found your good spot and started playing with it.

"Oh? Does my baby like right here?" He teased before moving deeper again and you threw your head back. Hands in his hair, tugging it harshly. "Or does it feel better here?" He said cheekily as he leaned in waiting for your response. "Tell me baby, with your words~" Minho cooed as he slowly curled his fingers.

"There there there," you said as you clenched around his fingers and your body tensed. He uncurled his fingers before curling them again. "Yes~" you moaned out grabbing his shoulders now.

You felt your knees giving out as he started thrusting two fingers inside you, hitting that sweet spot continuously before he inserted a third finger making you yell.

"I'm-mmng~ gonna cum," you whined out as you felt a knot building in your stomach. Long moans escaped your throat. Minho picked up the pace of his fingers and you came. All down your legs and his arms. His hair a mess as he smirks down at you. His fingers still soaking up every ounce of your arousal. You breathed heavily before saying "you need to go Minho," gently you pushed him, his sturdy body not moving.

"I need a taste first," he said before licking his fingers clean right in front of you. "Tastes better and better every time," he said with a grin before you relentlessly pushed him out of the room. "One last kiss," he said as he turned around and gave you a surprise kiss. He left for the stage and you shut the door as you looked at the mess you had made.

"Damn it," you groaned, "not again."

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zombiee-reviews · 2 months

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Rogio character discussion / breakdown.

• The coward • The asshole • The useless

If you can’t tell, I’m having fun with these lmao.

WARNING! THIS DOC CONTAINS LOTS OF INFORMATION AND WALL TEXT BECAUSE ROGIO IS REALLY THAT SHITTY LMAO.

So after doing a discussion with Ranach, my next victim is going to be Rogio.

Rogio is rather an easy character to breakdown, considering his actions is a huge contradiction to what Kique has his personality set too in the wiki.

What I will be going over:

• What we know of Rogio’s early life

• Why I feel he is just a shit character

• His friends with benefi- I mean, relationship with Roamer.

• How he is a huge self insert of Kique

• His weird on and off trauma(s)

• His wiki personality is one thing, but the comic shows another.

( Topics are in no particular order, my brain likes to splatter information everywhere lmao. )

So first, I am going to start with what we know of Rogio’s early life. Unfortunately, Rogio doesn’t really talk much about his early life, before MT. What we are told is he was once in a tribe named Snowcap Tribe and they once lived on the Meteor Summit. Rogio also mentions how someone angered a spirit up there and the spirit completely wiped out everyone. Obviously, later in the comic, his brother Iberon survived and was the cause of the spirit destroying the Tribe, but Rogio does not know this.

It is interesting to me how none of these comic characters talk about their backstory, but in Rogio’s case, he only brings up bad things in his backstory so everyone feels bad for him.

Why does Rogio never talk about his brother? His family? His traumatic experiences? You would think we would have some moments of Rogio confiding in Roamer and talking over the events that happened. It would have been good leverage to use his night beast form as past traumas he hasn’t gotten over. Personally, I feel like Kique didn’t come up with Rogio having a sibling that is alive until he made Ranach visit SS. Because this validates Ranach yoinking everyone in SS, because Iberon reminds him so much of Rogio. Ranach even puts two and two together that this COULD be Rogio’s brother. But as readers, we never see a scene where Rogio EVER talks about his sibling(s), or his past. And quite frankly it bothers me? The characters just feel like robots with no backstory, morals, or humanity / humility. They are just puppets to whatever Kique feels like having them do - in MT’s case, puppets to Rogio.

Let’s be honest, Rogio is by far the worst character in Home. Kique likes to label this guy as one of his best characters and will literally protect / defend him at all costs. WHY? I don’t know, maybe it’s because Rogio is a literal carbon copy of Kique in the comic.

It becomes obvious that Rogio is a self insert of Kique when Roamer and Rogio return to MT, after leaving Midnightgarde.

Roamer has a falling out with Kargo and we are shown nosy - ass Rogio listening in. We are then shown that Rogio is battling his own demons and pretty much forcing Roamer to cater to him because he wants to return to MT with Roamer. Kind of funny how Roamer doesn’t ask Rogio why tf he was listening to a private conversation… But anyway.

Even though Roamer and Kargo literally just broke up, Rogio thinks it’s a great idea to back stab his long time friend Kargo and sleep with his ex. How trustworthy Rogio is. I mean hell, Rogio makes the first move on Roamer. And then in a co-dependent manner, Rogio is suddenly healed from his demons, after sleeping with Roamer that night. Even Roamers face shows this “Oh god, Kique is going to use me as NSFW content with this dweeb in the future.” Lmao.

Also Rogio says he didn’t join the Tribe by choice, but he could have left by choice. Rogio had the luxury of leaving the walls when he wanted too, he could have easily just took off one day. He wasn’t that trapped. -_-

One thing I find funny on Rogio returning to MT, was he KNEW there was a possibility that Ranach was still there. So obviously, Kargo was right when he told Roamer that he returned to MT to sleep with Ranach once again. Of course, this is quickly covered up. But it’s obvious to me that Rogio was willing to see Ranach once more and then later in the comic acted like seeing Ranach again would be the end of his world. THEN WHY DID YOU RETURN TO MT IDIOT??

If Ranach terrified / traumatized you SO MUCH, why would you return to MT knowing there was a chance he’d be there, or knowing there was a chance Ranach would return? Didn’t factor that one in, huh buddy?

After reading the documents Staz put out on how Kique was in their relationship, Rogio describes Kique to a damn T. It would also make sense why all the main characters oogle over him, or ask for his advice even tho it’s out of place. Rogio IS Kique.

I mean hell, I absolutely HATE that the MT females don’t gut Rogio for not doing squat for them while he was in MT. When Rogio does return to MT I hate when I see Inna say “We’re glad to have you back Rogio!” GIRL WHAT. This pile of dog crap didn’t bother to save anybody, he had a chance to rebel with Kargo the first time and didn’t do anything! He was too busy banging Ranach and trying to raise his own position in MT as a Baron WITH Ranach. Realistically, NOBODY should be happy to see him!

Oh and let’s not forget Ronja giving him special privileges to call her by her actual name. And then suddenly making him Baron of MT, even though he hasn’t proved his skills to her. Ronjas stupid as well for just giving that much responsibility / status to someone SHE BARELY KNOWS. But it’s ✨ ROGIO ✨

Then came the time when Rogio was completely useless to his rank as a Baron. He’d let everyone go do the work for him when it came time to rid of Ranach and Avanti. He always used the excuse of not wanting to see Ranach, because Ranach was his “abuser”. The goofy thing about this is, Rogio was completely accepting of seeing Ranach again when he was coming back from Midnightgarde.. Also, why would you return to the very place your abuser lives? Why did you come back to MT knowing Ranach would still be around? It’s all dumb writing to me. I understand why Roamer returned, but Rogio could have very easily went his own way and start his own life.

Then another contradiction that Rogio creates for himself, is when he is in the healer hut saying “If anyone had a problem with it, they would have voiced their concern at the meeting.” But when Vigr asks Rogio to use himself to lure Ranach into a trap, Rogio suddenly throws a fit like a child and suffers from a “PTSD” attack. Again, idk why you would want to torment yourself so badly and come back to a place where your abuser is still around. Don’t make sense to me!!

But because Rogio was absolutely useless in the fight against Avanti and decided to not be apart of it, MT lost two members! Fuss and Jonna! Bro, you’re a Baron, a second in command, you don’t get to just kick your feet up. If you felt you weren’t ready to be a Baron, then why the hell did you accept it anyway? You could have easily told Ronja NO, I don’t want to be a Baron, I can’t handle that much responsibility right now. But because Rogio wasn’t there and his help could have potentially saved Fuss and Jonna, we lose them.

I mean shit, Fuss had more of a reason to stay behind, for his daughter! But he went anyway. Then we have lame ass Rogio who doesn’t want to sEe HiS aBuSeR. Even tho he has an entire tribe to protect him from Ranach!

Then came the time when Ranach was attacking the wall with Avanti. I just LOVE that Ronja says “You are the second strongest to Kargo go protect the cave entrance!” Basically saying “Just go run away and be useless!” If Rogio is the second strongest, why is he off diddling in a cave while everyone else has to go face Oreo dog? Oh that’s right! Plot armor! And Kiques way of further dragging the story of Ranach not knowing Rogio is alive yet! And yet furthering my reasons of why Rogio is fucking useless at everything. I mean he needed help from a pup to “kill” Avanti.

Then of course, when Rogio plays this game of ignoring Roamer and goes with Ronja to Tinget. What an asshole. I mean look at the face he is giving Roamer before he leaves??? Not only this, but Ronja ain’t the smartest of the bunch, because anyone can see that her tribe member is not himself, but sure buddy! Show me the way with just us two alone to Tinget! I mean hell, the comic doesn’t really show a relationship / friendship with Ronja or Rogio. Ronja is forced to like Rogio and act like she knows anything about him from Kique, because he is with her family member, Roamer. I mean she can at least see that Rogio is being a bit of a dick to Roamer, but she somehow doesn’t stand up against Rogio and defend her family member. She’s definitely got that minding her own business down lol.

Going to fast forward to the time when Ronja and Rogio are seen after Tinget. They are camping and Rogio miraculously knows that Fjall is spooking at something else other than a night beast. Rogio completely goes feral on this strange dog spying on them. But what would make me uncomfortable in Ronjas position is she had to really put some force in her voice to get Rogio to stop threatening him. Giiirl, that would make me nervous, because you’re alone with ROGIO lmao.

Later, Rogio and Ronja return to MT and Rogio attempts to run off, but cowers out. Heh, wuss. I don’t understand why he didn’t just do it while she was asleep, but to wait last minute while you’re on the border of MT. It just makes it easier for everyone to follow your scent?? IDK.

Once Rogio is in the void with Kargo after fighting his night beast form, the whole scene that follows once they leave is total bullshit. The whole “A punch long overdue.” From Kargo is so wrong in so many ways, if anything, ROGIO deserves that punch from Kargo. Rogio has been nothing but a dickwad to everyone since day one, he damn near isn’t redeemable either. But Kique thinks because Rogio saves Kargo and kills his night beast, it clears anything Rogio has done in the past.

When Kargo says “I have brought so much pain into his life” I think Kique meant for Rogio to say that. I mean Rogio was the biggest asshole to Roamer?? Only thing Kargo has done was just get upset with him over Ferah, and leave him, other than that I haven’t really seen Kargo be a dick to Roamer like Rogio. I mean hell, at least Kargo COMMUNICATES, even if it is when he gets angry.

And what follows after is just sad. I hate how out of character Kique writes Kargo just to benefit Rogio. But I am happy to see the lions wacking Rogio around lmao.

It wasn’t obvious in the beginning, but after finding out Rogio suggests a poly relationship to Roamer, it then becomes obvious Kique planned this shit. He planned a polyship and the three of them to have a child as well, which would be Diarko. Which is dumb as hell, considering his mother is actually alive. But Kique writes her as a mother lacking any maternity instincts, cause she just leaves him with MT? It becomes clear to me that the MT storyline is actually all about Rogio and whatever orbits around him.

Then as they return to MT, suddenly Kargo and Rogio become the best of friends. Okay I get it, Rogio saved him. But honestly, it looks like Kargo didn’t want to be saved. And besides that, Rogio and Kargo had no chemistry together. Just because Kargo dies and Rogio brings him back to life does not undo anything?? Kargo should really be like, okay thanks for bringing me back to life, buh bye dude.

Then Galti, Alva and Javo leave and they have this whole conversation that Ranach may return. Which he potentially could. Obviously brainless Rogio didn’t think this through. Sure bringing back Kargo is cool and all, but it ups the risks once more and puts MT in danger again. But Kique wants us to love Rogio because he brought Kargo back, not even factoring in the risks! What a smart guy!

Now I’ll be going over his weird / abusive af relationship that he has with Roamer.

When Roamer returns from Midnightgarde after giving Ferah and Kargo a thoughtful farewell. Roamer approaches Rogio and gives this whole speech about how the irbloss are the ones that wanted Roamer to see Rogio. WROOONG. Rogio was suppose to die that night, according to others who had script privileges, or heard it from word of mouth from Kique. Yes, that’s right people, Rogio was suppose to die after Ranach sacrificed him. But for some odd reason, Kique chose this wonderful dog to implement himself into. :-)

What also strikes me weird, is how Roamer was shy with Kargo but not with Rogio. Especially after their breakup. I perceived Roamer as shy with Kargo because a MxM relationship was brand new to him and he was figuring himself out. But when it came to Rogio, suddenly that shyness disappeared and he became the more “dominant” one, all in the course of a few days.

Then, Rogio gives this bullshit speech to Roamer about how he feels this relationship is right and he gets a sense of freedom being with him. I’m sorry, but seeing how Rogio treats Roamer in the future, I take this as love bombing and manipulation from Rogio.

Oh also, I hate how Roamer acts like he knows everything about Rogio when he confronts Kargo. “You have no right to talk like you know either of them.” Roamer???? Kargo literally spent years with Rogio in MT and you really want to tell him that?? You’ve only known Rogio for a few days?? Oh! That’s right. This scene is Kique trying to convince his audience that Kargo is the problem, not Rogio. But it’s absolutely hilarious how Roamer goes on the defensive with Kargo over Rogio, like he’s known Rogio his whole life. GET OUT OF HERE BOI.

I also hate how rushed their relationship is. Once Roamer returns from Midnightgarde, they have this forced chemistry about them. It’s almost like they’ve been together for quite a long time, but factoring the pacing, it’s only been a few days?? A week? I mean right from the get go, Rogio is already trying to bang Roamer, when he returns from saying goodbye to Ferah and Kargo.. And also when they wake up the next morning, this behavior is a damn red flag for me?

Also, why the hell did Roamer fail to tell Ronja he returned first? Oh yeah, cause poor Rogipoo needed Roamer to fend off his demons that he should PROBABLY deal with on his own. But Kique made Roamer the one that deals with all of Rogio’s problems.

Also Ronja acting like she knows Rogio, AT ALL. “And Rogio deserves someone like you, after everything he’s been through.” I mean all of chapter nine is pretty much about coddling up to Rogio, even tho Roamer and Ronja don’t know jack shit about him. UGH.

Then of course, Rogio keeping secrets. Roamer had to find out about Rogio and Ranachs relationship, instead of Rogio just telling him. Idk why it was an issue? But if Rogio felt such strong feelings for Roamer, why does he feel the need to not confide in him about something like that, but instead hide it. Then of course, more coddling Rogio over Ranach, even tho Ranach was never shown to abuse Rogio lmfao.

Also why tf was Rogio and Roamer making out like that in front of everyone when Kargo and Ferah are at the gate? There is a literal child right there you freaking creeps.

Then of course, poor Rogipoo couldn’t sleep when Kargo returned, so Roamer is like ITS OKAY BUDDY! I’ll do all of your chores! Go back to sleep!! Damn, I wish I could have someone do my chores because I couldn’t sleep lmfao. Bastard didn’t even say thank you to Roamer lol.

And of course Roamer trying to protect Rogio from Kargo once more. “Do you think he’s proud of the things he’s done?” Girl, I haven’t once seen Rogio take accountability or talk about past things, unless it involved pitying Rogio. It was always poor Rogio! Never, screw Rogio for leaving the MT females to be raped, while he was trying to raise his position in MT and didn’t seem BOTHERED about trying to change anything. Yeah, screw you man.

Then, my all time favorite scene with Kargo whooping Rogio’s ass, rightfully. Everything Kargo says is completely the truth about Rogio. But of course, Kique handles this as Kargo being the asshole and this is suppose to be some half ass redemption arc for Rogio and somehow we’re suppose to feel bad for him here. I mean cmon man, Kargo has the right to be pissed off at Rogio. He literally crept in and immediately started pulling moves on Roamer, DAYS after their break up!

And before Roamer even came into the picture, when Rogio and Kargo were in old MT together. It’s APPARENT that Rogio has backstabbed Kargo before and ( “You turned your back on me the day our bond mattered the most.” ) then did it again when Roamer left him. So why the fuck would any of us feel bad for Rogio here? I think I can speak for all of us logical readers here, we all side with Kargo, Kique.

I also hate that part when Rogio was telling Kargo “We needed each other.” NEEDED WHAT EXACTLY?! A bang buddy?!

And then Kargo asking Rogio if he loves Roamer. OF COURSE HE DOESNT! He is just using Roamer as a bang buddy! Bro literally couldn’t contain himself in front of a CHILD.

Aaaaah, now comes the juicy bits of their relationship. Rogio becomes the victim of his own self pity and decides to stone wall Roamer, because that’s TOTALLY something you should do in a healthy relationship. He does this QUITE a bit with Roamer, later in the comic.

But! You did hit the nail on the head by saying you can’t do anything as a Baron, so that’s why you’ve stepped down. Good job in that self reflection Rogio!

And of course the nightmares return and what does freaking Roamer do? Tries to bang him. Like??? Yall see this? It’s pretty sad that Roamer thinks sex is the way to comfort / get too Rogio. Because when it comes to touchy subjects like that, sex is the answer for him. Not talking it out, I guess. Because guess what! Rogio shoves Roamer off and ignores him! More stonewalling! Guess that didn’t work, Roamer!

Even when Rogio returns from the Tinget meeting, we have even more stonewalling! In typical Rogio fashion, he’s always giving them sad eyes and walking off. You’re pathetic man.

Then to nobodies surprise, chapter 12 begins with pathetic ass Rogio’s nightmares again. Of course, he walks out. Roamer attempts to comfort him and ask him to talk about what he dreamt about, nothing wrong here as Roamer is trying to support / comfort Rogio. But of course Rogio avoids anything Roamer tells him. I mean Roamer is in tears, pushing aside everything and asking him to love and touch him. But then AGAIN, Rogio walks tf out and leaves him alone to cry about it. Here’s a trophy for biggest asshole of this story, Rogio.

As the stonewalling progresses, it then manifests into Rogio trying to sneak out without telling anyone. At least be courteous and TELL SOMEONE. It’s really not that fucking hard to communicate to someone and say “Hey I need my space! So I am leaving for a little bit.” But of course Rogio wants to draw attention on himself and have the whole Tribe worry about him and possibly go search for him. This could have possibly caused more unnecessary deaths, but thankfully Roamer was able to stop him… With sex. Not sure how you can be in love with someone who just wants to bang you, stone wall you and be an absolute ass to you. Rogio is a walking red flag, Roamer lol.

Now my final thing will be Rogio’s weird plot convenient traumas.

Obviously, we’re all aware of Rogio fighting his night beast form and once he comes across the spirit that sends him to the void to fight the night beast, we see more trauma in the sky above him. Except these aren’t any traumas, it’s kind of funny how it’s mostly about Kargo calling out Rogio’s shitty ass behavior, but apparently this is traumatic for Rogio. Well, don’t be an asshole???

And then came the time recently when Rogio suggested that MT can move to his old tribes territory. May I remind you that this is his family’s graveyard? And the territory had a spirit absolutely ravage the whole area, killing the tribe? One would think Rogio would be traumatized from this, but guess what? HE ISNT. Nope! The words of his old families territory rings nothing in Rogio’s empty head. But the poor sop can’t even face Ranach with a whole tribe standing behind him.

I think it’s another dick move for Rogio to not mention anything to Ronja or the tribe about what happened in his old territory. Kique, buddy, you try so hard to make this asshat look good, but end up short every time. You will never change my mind on how I feel about Rogio. SORRY CHUMP.

Also all of Rogio’s positive personality traits are all bullshit lol. That trustworthy, loyal and courageous one made me laugh LOUDLY.

Notes:

Tbh I had to cut some things out and focus mainly on Rogio’s behaviors, so I may have missed some things. The conclusion of this is to show people and potentially show die hard fans of Home that Rogio really isn’t that great. Kique tries to shine him under a bright light, but he just ends up making a fool out of Rogio.

Rogio should have died the night Kique said he would.

Also apologies for this taking so long! Rogio is the worst mess in this comic, as you read.

#kique nordin #kique7 #asmundr #bad dog comics #asmundrcomic #asmundrhome #comic review #comic #homeasmundr #homecomic #bad comic art #bad writing #so badly #dumbification

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majimasleftasscheek · 1 year

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Hi, im very sorry if this has already been answered or established somewhere else but im curious, with your Kazumaji stuff, around what time did they start dating (i.e. after the events of Yakuza 0 and all that) and how?

tbh, I dunno!

I don't really have an established date for that cuz sometimes I'm like man they'd be really cute during y0 and then other times I set it between post y0 and the beginning of y1. The latest they would start me thinks is some months after the events of y1 but in general it sorta depends on how I'm feeling and what silly scenarios play in my head

ideas under the cut tho 👀

if we're talking y0: I like to think Kiryu has to go to Sotenbori for some reason, be it business or he's there with Nishiki for some partying. he sees Majima at the Grand being depressed and is like "damn girl those bags under your eyes makes my dick go *boing sound effect*" and asks him out 🥺 Kiryu gets rejected immediately cuz Majima's in this cycle of 'I deserve nothing but pain and suffering' but Kiryu can't read the room so he is persistently showing up at the Grand despite Majima very obviously wanting to kick his ass. eventually he relents and goes on cute™ dates with Kiryu and realizes oof maybe human intimacy be kinda gucci

if between y0 and y1: Majima's fresh in his mad dog era starting shit with people just to be annoying and Kiryu's one of his targets mainly due to the events of y0. he's kinda like "lol this goober really did some important plot stuff, huh?" and his curiosity gets the better of him because Kiryu is an enigma who eats bugs and Majima cannot suppress his need to get some sense of understanding on this weirdo. in this timeline, it's more one-sided affection from Majima that comes in the form of stabbing while Kiryu is desperately trying to fight the gay allegations and failing. eventually he caves but it's a sorta unofficial, on and off thing that Kiryu doesn't really know how to evaluate for himself. Majima doesn't really care what they are since he's high on life atm and has a cute dude with big boobs on his arm

if during y1: literally just everything Majima Everywhere. Goromi. GOROMI 😩💦 Kiryu is all: I LIKE PUSSY but everyone's like okay big man then why's Majima pole dancing for you huh. the two braincells he has start to click and he realizes maybe Majima wants to hold hands or something unthinkable like that. ngl I like to think Kiryu's thing for Yumi is like a demisexual bi thing where he's like, I do love her but she don't zap my brain quite like the bowlcut freak who knows how to punch me real good and it becomes sorta his personal introspective journey during this time. Majima is also floating in the space of am I doing this for his benefit cuz "training" or am I falling for this dork. he's pretty sad about it cuz of the Saejima reminder vibes but eventually Kiryu falls into his own person that Majima really meshes with and the two of them struggle to actually voice how they feel all the while their pants are down in some dirty alley

if after y1: (going to insert shit from a fic I'm working on) Kiryu's absolutely devastated with what happened in the Millennium Tower + now having to take care of Haruka that he's shut himself off from everyone and everything other than doing the bare minimum to live. in comes Majima being a menace like yo you can't like, let a child parent herself you gotta get outta this slump and Kiryu's all fuck you stop breaking into my house. so it's a long pain in the ass process to help Kiryu deal with his grief while Majima keeps unintentionally making googoo eyes at him and both of them are like boy I sure hope this doesn't awaken anything within me. there's also a lotta dadjima stuff going on and Kiryu's like wowie zowie so you do have a heart and Majima's like no way loser while being just 😳👉👈

#apologies for the way I write sometimes I like to put out total garble because it makes my heart go thumpa thump #god I love them I LOVE THEM #THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER ON A LEVEL BEYOND THAT OF FLESH AND BLOOD AND IT HURTS KNOWING THEY DO #THAT THEY BOTH SUFFER AND THEY FEEL THAT IT'S BEST TO BE ALONE RATHER THAN BRING SOMEONE ELSE ON THE RIDE #BUT THAT RIDE BRINGS THEM BOTH TO THE SAME DESTINATION THAT THEY ARE BOTH BROKEN MEN HAUNTED BY THINGS THEY DID—THINGS THEY COULD HAVE DONE #BUT MAYBE THERE'S HOPE IN HAVING SOMEONE TO LIVE FOR—SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE STRUGGLE OF REDEMPTION DESPITE ONE'S NATURE #TO LIFT EACH OTHER FROM THE DEPTHS OF SELF LOATHING BECAUSE THEY CAN DO BETTER #then I'm tranquilized and shoved back into my cage for relocation #kazumaji #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #my hcs

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weaper-reaper · 1 year

Text

Eventuality Pt.1

2, 3+4, 5, 6

Hey shawties its me again, back with my FIRST Konig fic. Very terrible German shenanigans will ensue so be warned. I’m here to feed the small community that is the Konig baby girls. New format, this fic is written with an MC (I know huge surprise, but just consider it a reader-insert.) MC uses She/Her pronouns, I’m sorry. Feminine anatomy and all that.

CW: Medical Inaccuracies, German translation Inaccuracies, Military Inaccuracies, you get the point, Fluff, Plot heavy, Eventual smut, Established background, Updating tags with each chapter, Konig x Reader, Konig x OFC, Maybe Johnny “Soap” Mctavish x reader, unless?, COD Franchise, MWII, Call of Duty characters, Captian Pierce, loosely mentioned

“Fucking stupid… piece of shit.. god-“ the sticker label fell through my fingers and I knocked an entire stack of papers over trying to grab it. “Damnit.” I sighed. How I ever made it as a nurse, much less working as an ICU nurse in military bases is lost on me. A chuckle at the doorway pulled me from my self loathing.

“Captain!” I quickly stood from my crouched position over the floor, and brought my arm up in a salute.

“Please no need,” he started, “I’ve just come with your next assignment.”

I could feel my face twist together with confusion. Next assignment?

“I’m stationed here until the sixteenth, sir.”

“I’m afraid we can’t send anyone else.”

I almost scoffed- and motioned my arms out. Here I am, surrounded by my own mess, and I’m the best person for the job?

He read me easily and tipped his head towards me in recognition, “Do you have any dependents waiting for you back home, soldier?”

I shook my head. No, I didn’t. And everyone knew it too.

Since I turned twenty, my entire life had been dedicated to school and military life. Even before then, as a child my dad uprooted us from place to place. Mission to mission. That’s how we always lived, so I tried my best to not get too hung up on any one particular place. Ultimately following in his footsteps and enlisting the moment I became of age. It’s like everywhere I went I had a label on my back that said ‘My dad was KIA, and I’ll serve until I am too.’

I’d made no real friends since I landed here anyway, so packing up and leaving now or in a week wouldn’t really make much of a difference in the end.

“Right sir, I’ll be packed within the hour.” I turned my back to him with a nod and scooped the rest of the spoiled papers in my arms.

“Good on you nurse,” He praised and it did little to settle the nerves that always followed being sent to a new unknown place. “Heli leaves at eighteen hundred.”

By helicopter? That’s a new one at least.

An hour later I stood at the edge of the heli pad packed to the brim- watching the black mass fade in from the far west of the sky, the sun glaring almost mockingly above it. As if the helicopter was a manifestation of my unescaped impending doom. A missile honed directly to me.

The duffle bag I shouldered grew heavier as it landed, attempting to root me to the spot. I was handed a pair of gray headphones and shoved up onto the machine. I pressed the hanging mic up to my lip and strapped in behind the pilot, facing outwards towards the doors of the tiny metal thing. A large window curved from my side directly overhead. There was only really enough room for the three of us and what little equipment I was allowed to bring. Although I was promised I could take inventory and order any additional nessecities, honestly I wouldn’t know where to really start.

“Evening boys.” I greeted, and was met with only nods in response. Great.

The blades hadn’t even been given a moment to slow down before we hauled off the ground and into the air- dust cropped up and swirled around us until we were almost level with the low hanging clouds. They were as dark and gray as the machine we flew. The metal blades thumped about as loud as my heart, and I did my best to settle into my seat, deciding to focus on the shrinking base below.

I eyed my bags tied tightly against the net on the walls, hoping I didn’t forget anything. My entire life was practically stuffed into those two bags- one being 80% emergency medical equipment said a lot I think. The photo bound tightly in the breast pocket of my vest burned hot- I itched to take it out but didn’t trust my fingers enough not to drop it right out into the air.

I sighed and threw my head back, maybe I could get some rest in at least.

____________

“T-3 Minutes until landing.” Chatter in my ears over the radio roused me from my head. I hadn’t been able to sleep- given I just spent the last two hours strapped in a fucking helicopter, but I was able to daydream and rest a bit.

The sky had turned a pretty gradient of orange and pink as we neared the new base. Light beamed through the breaks in the clouds. We were in the desert from what I could tell, dunes resided on either side of the starch brown compound below, almost letting it blend in completely with the scenery. If we weren’t directly above it, I don’t think it’d be too noticeable from anywhere on the ground.

Save the fact that I knew we were facing east, I had no clear idea where we even were. Hopefully I’ll be briefed upon landing.

I tore off the straps of my harness when the heli touched ground, and tossed the headset on the seat as I left- making sure to grab both of my bags before jumping down. My cropped hair bit against my face as the blades continued to whir above me.

Two men approached the edge of the pad, the tip of their boots not having even touched the yellow caution paint before the helicopter lifted itself up into the air again. I watched for a moment as it buzzed over us and into the darkening clouds.

“Private nurse Mack?” One of the men shouted and I turned to face them, pushing a hard look onto my face, the grip I had on my straps tightened significantly. I could see my knuckles turn white from the pressure. Okay new base, don’t fuck up, don’t fuck up. My own personal mantra replayed in my head as we took long strides towards each other.

“Evening gentlemen.” I raised my voice, as if it made me sound anymore sure. “Heard you boys needed some help.” I motioned to the large red medic badge on my shoulder.

“Aye, I’ll be the first to admit it, that we do.” The shorter one with the Scottish accent rang out, though they both stood impeding over my own frame.

“We’ve got ourselves into a bit of a predicament.” The other man began, he was slightly larger then the first, with scruffy facial hair and a worn cap that’s definitely seen better days.

“Captain Price,” He motioned to the other man beside him- the one that addressed me first. “That’s Soap.”

I nodded and fell into step between them when they turned, following as they headed into the large sandy building. We stepped through a series of doors before we ended up in what looked like a makeshift infirmary- a handful of cots lined the walls with no real space between any of them. More importantly men atop the dirty and stained beds, some even sat on the floor nearest the entrance.

“Forgive us if we skip the formalities, lass.” The scot voiced, Soap. “‘Y’have yer kit with ya?”

I swung my unessacey shit off first- the bag filled with uniform briefs and clothes mostly, lost in whatever corner of the room that was unaccompanied. Unstrapping my suture kit I approached the closest bed to me.

“What the hell happened here?” I almost shouted over the groaning and muttering that filled the room. A quick glance told me around ten or so men filled out the little space. The man sprawled across the bed in front of me clutched at his bicep. Blood seeping through the wet rag he held against the wound as dripped down his fingers.

Soap approached my side and watched as I snapped on some rubber gloves from the bag attached to my waistband belt.

“Joint mission, we were regrouping with members of KORTAC when they were ambushed.” Price stated- a practiced calm behind his words. He said it as if it were any normal Wednesday night.

I gave him a curt nod and tried not to panic much, but being thrown into a room full of wounded men within only minutes of landing at a new base I didn’t even know existed this morning- it’s safe to say my nerves were beginning to get fried. I took a deep breath, the details aren’t really that important. I was here to help, so I’d focus on doing just that.

“Thankfully there were no casualties, just a small group of bloody nobodies.” Soap pulled over a trash bin from behind him and set it near me, I gave him a quick smile as thanks. He had a kind look on his face, a small scar rested below his bottom lip and his shaved Mohawk didn’t really do him much justice, but he didn’t seem that intimidating in this light. Should fate grant me a longer stay here- I don’t think I’d mind getting to know him a bit more.

Shifting my focus from Soap, I pulled back the bloody rag from the man on the cot’s shoulder and tossed it into the bin. Then wiped his arm down with a sterile alcohol pad. A gangly gash sat red and bright against his pale skin, a bullet must have torn straight through his uniform. “Just an ugly graze soldier, you’ll be alright.”

He grunted and rolled onto his side so I could treat him better, so I pulled out a disposable suture kit from my bag and got to work. Doing my best to remember to prioritize, I glanced between Price- who moved back to the entrance of the room, seemingly not wanting to get involved, and Soap still at my side.

“Life-altering patients first,” I shouted to the room, “If you can move- help the injured onto beds, and if you’re not bleeding to death go start a line in the hall.”

It took a good minute and a hard glare from Soap for the men to start moving, but soon there were only three others in the room with us. Though he stayed longer than Price, and did his best to assist me with two particularly nasty stab wounds; he decided to call it.

“That’s all I got in me nurse, hell’s bells, I can’t imagine how you’d do this all day.” He said as he left. I thanked him for his help but ultimately was more grateful that he left me alone with my work- his general presence was intimidating enough, I didn’t want to screw up on the first day under his supervision. So with another deep breath I eventually saw everyone who was involved in the ambush, and crashed against the steel table in the back of the room. Eyes closed the moment my head hit my arms, gloves still on and everything.

It wasn’t until a good minute or so that I rose back up and took a look around the room again. A mess greeted me, as per usual. My fingers ached and my shoulders screamed at me, but I spent the next hour piling dirty linens and rags into one corner, and moping up what I could of dried blood and mud into another. What I wouldn’t give for a warm bath right about now. Though I’ve had worse days in the ICU for sure, this one definitely got close to topping the cake. I was even more thankful for Soap’s help after the fact. Maybe I could sneak him an extra MRE next time we came across each other as thanks.

If he was the only one who’d stayed to assist, I wondered if they had anyone here at base who was properly medically trained. Given I’m not a licensed doctor or anything, but who was the last person in charge of their medical needs? Or rather.. what happened to them if they did have one?

The entrance to the door creaked open behind me, and I pulled myself from my thoughts, leaning on the mop handle for extra support. My eyes were drooping from exhaustion, and it took them a moment to focus.

“You are cleaning?” A soft voice spoke, something I did not expect to hear from the man who graced the doorway. His frame was hunched over slightly, a hand under the hood that hung over his face, two piercing blue eyes stuck out starch against the torn holes that stared directly through me.

It took a second for me to realize the voice belonged to him, and not some other stranger hidden behind his large figure.

“Uh, yeah.” I sighed, “Someone’s got to, right?”

He had no response and instead stared blankly at me through his mask like a statue- unmoving.

“Uhm.” I began again, “Do you need medical assistance?” I tried to say as calmly and invitingly as I could. Though I couldn’t see his face, by his body language alone it seemed as if he would turn and leave with any wrong movement.

He stayed as he was and watched me while drained the dirty bucket and put the mop back into the closet I originally found them from.

“I thought perhaps I could do it myself, but..” he trailed off and guestured up to his face with a point from his elbow.

I put on a fresh pair of gloves and sat on the edge of an empty cot.

“Do what yourself?”

He took a step forward and glanced from me back to the door. Letting a little ‘uhh’ cross his lips. Ultimately settling on twisting the deadlock shut on the door. My heart leaped in my chest and I instinctively stood and inched my way back to the steel desk.

He caught on quickly and immediately held both of his hands up in front of him, slightly crouching as to appear less intimidating.

“Ah please, I just do not want anyone to see.” He waved a hand in front of his face and tangled his fingers at the bottom of the cloth that hung over his entire head- held up only by the helmet he wore. With another wary look towards the door- as if someone would burst in at any moment- he lifted the mask just enough for me to see a long stripe of red from the tip of his jaw down to his collarbone, disappearing under the collar of his shirt.

My mouth went dry as our eyes met again.

Okay, Mr.Mountian of a man just needs some help. That’s all. I let a wary glance of my own settle over the lock on the door before turning to grab a first aid kit and some more sanitary wipes. My back was to him, but I nodded my head over to a cot- “Have a seat.”

After grabbing what I needed onto a tray and rolling it over, I stood infront of him. Even as he sat we were practically eye to eye still. I cleared my throat, trying to calm my nerves from under the uneasiness of his stare. It felt like he noticed every twitch of my fingers and any little movement I made, any inch of exustion I had disappearing with a rush of adrenaline from being locked in a room with a six-foot-something man.

He lifted his mask again just enough so I could clearly see the wound we were working with. It wasn’t very deep- and It looked like he tried to superglue it shut himself, but there were still spots where I could see the blood bead up through. His jaw had some stubble on it, like he hadn’t shaved in a week or so.

“It’s cleaner then some of the cuts I’ve seen today.” I spoke, doing my best to ease the tension that settled thickly over the two of us. The tiny room felt somehow smaller under his gaze. His body and presence took up so much space that it was nearly suffocating.

He only hummed in response. I dabbed some alcohol on a cotton pad and wiped it against his face as gently as I could, if it hurt he did a good job of hiding the pain. Only the back of his jaw clenched when he grinded his teeth together, eyes now anywhere but mine.

I placed my other hand against the other cheek, angling his head towards me a bit more and he stiffened underneath me. His body going as rigid as the cold metal gear he wore.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled and I could see his eyes twitch over to my face.

“If it hurts I mean.”

“I- I am alright.” His lips were chapped and his teeth clacked harshly against each other when he snapped his mouth shut again, as if he regretted speaking.

There was a beat of silence before I spoke again, “What’s your name? I’m Mack, though everyone seems to just call me Nurse.” I chuckled dryly.

His eyes didn’t leave my face this time, and I began to sweat under his watch. I sounded like an idiot to even myself. He just came here to get patched up, why do I ever bother with the small talk. I’d most likely be gone or replaced within the month anyway. He hissed under a particularly sensitive spot at the base of his neck and I immediately apologized, reaching for a clean cotton swab.

“König. That is what they call me.” His accent was thicker this time he spoke, gently cursing in some German dialect when the cut started to bleed again from all my prodding.

“Well König,” I repeated, “you did a good job of cleaning this up yourself.” The grip on his mask loosened and fell below his lips as he settled on the cot a bit more comfortably, and I praised myself for my smooth patient talk. It didn’t take me very long to finish wiping him down and stop any bleeding, I made quick work of setting a bandage over the deeper parts of his cut. Only a slight bit stayed exposed on the parts where the skin moved too much for me to cover it properly.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to take another look when we change the bandages again. Just to make sure it doesn’t reopen, but I don’t think you’ll need any stitches.” He dropped the cloth and let it settle down over his face and neck fully again, eyes boring directly through mine as I spoke.

He nodded with me, “Yes. Then I will see you tomorrow morning.”

He rose up into his towering form again and made his way over to the door- snapping it unlocked once more.

“Sure.” I agreed, tossing the bloody cotton pads into the bin. “Tomorrow morning könig.” And the door clicked shut behind him before I could even turn to watch him leave.

The uneasy feeling continued to sit at the bottom of my stomach as I picked up my bags again. Their weight was ten times heavier as I left the small room and wandered back out into the main hallway. In all honesty I didn’t even know if I would be here in the morning, though it was apparent after today that this little band of soldiers needed some official medical assistance. Wether or not I was the best person for that job.. well who’s to really say.

Soap was in the hall as I left, leaning lazily against the opposite wall from the door. I turned to pull it close and met his eyes. He had more color to his face now then he did a few hours ago, maybe he was squeamish around blood? No, there’s no way.

“Hey.” He greeted.

“Hey yourself.” I joined his side, “Thanks for your help earlier, by the way.”

“‘Course newbie.” He turned to face the end of the hallway and waved for me to follow.

“Newbie? What happened to Private nurse Mack.”

“Too long. Plus everyone’s the new guy at one point.”

I hummed in response, and he lead me back out through the main entrance.

“Cafeteria’s through there- always stocked so feel free to eat whenever. Sleeping barracks are this way.” It was dark outside now, and the clouds still hung so thickly over the sky I couldn’t see any stars. Out only light from the few floodlights that were scattered randomly around the compound.

“So when do I get a cool nickname? Or will it be lame too.”

“Lame?”

“Soap?” I countered.

“Johnny.” He corrected.

“No you’re right, Soap sounds cooler.” He scoffed and I bit my lip to force the smile down. At least someone here could make good banter.

“You’ll fit in well here newbie.” He redirected us towards another sand colored building. I recognized a couple of the men I treated earlier hanging around the front entrance. It looked like there was only one door in. Their eyes watched us as we passed through, a couple whispers making their way around in groups.

“Don’t mind ‘em.” Soap had leaned over to mutter in my ear, his warm breath cascaded down my neck and I hadn’t realized how cold it’d gotten in the dark. I hummed again- not trusting my voice to speak any coherent words.

“This is you.” He pointed to a steel door sat at the very back of a long hallway. The numbers ‘21’ written in bold white letters above it. He could read the uneasiness that found it’s way over my face, and I hated how simple a read I was. Maybe I should don a balaclava like everyone else around here. “Something the matter, bonnie?”

“Oh, no.” I turned to him and hadn’t realized how close he really was in the dark and cramped hall. I could almost smell his aftershave, he probably dipped on me earlier to shower, though I couldn’t really blame him. I must’ve looked like a mess currently, so after a shower myself I was headed straight to bed.

“Honestly it’s just been a while since I’d stayed in coed housing.” The door opened with a creak, but I was relieved to see only one twin sized cot. At the least I wouldn’t be rooming with anybody.

He nodded in understanding, “Well if you run into any issues, I’m just over there.” He jutted his thumb back to a door labeled ‘19’.

“20 up are mostly empty anyway, those are the overflow rooms.” He paused and glanced around the hallway at all the doors. “Though with the men from KORTAC dirtying our plates, I’m afraid ‘tis fuller than usual.”

I let out what must’ve been my hundredth sigh for the day and nodded.

“Thanks Soap, again I appreciate it.” The bright dorky smile that adorned his face helped ease my nerves. I stepped over the threshold of the room and turned back to him, one hand on the edge of the door. He leaned against the frame casually, hands in his pockets.

“It’s nothing. Sleep well, lass.” He turned to leave.

“Oh hey,” he stopped me once more just before I shut the door. “If you’re feeling up to it a couple of the lads and I are going for a run in the morning- ‘round 0400 or so.”

He shrugged, “Could be a good bonding experience, or y’know maybe we’ll think up a cooler nickname then Nurse.”

“Cooler than Soap?”

“Extremely.”

I chuckled and let the door close as he turned again, watching him disappear down the hall.

Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad finding a reason to stay in one spot for a bit longer after all.

_________

AYOO look I know what this looks like… but It’s NOT a Soap fic I SWEAR. I just adore my babygirl so much you know I had to do it to em. Unless you guys are into a multi-ship fanfic centered around the same MC? Lemme know what you think.

Also crossposted on Ao3 under ‘WeaperReaper’

Anyway more Konig content in the next part, pinkey promise.

#könig #konig call of duty #call of duty #konig imagine #konig x reader

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kaatiba · 10 months

Text

OC Weaknesses

tagged by @faytelumos (who also made this meme!)

Rules: Quick, name a bunch of your OCs and their weaknesses, but it has to be funny.

Oracle

Sage: broke the world by being a giant nerd and creating a self-insert for his favourite book series. also his long, luscious, totally impractical-for-someone-on-the-run hair.

Ro: magic doesn’t work on or through her. she literally nullifies it. no magic healing for her if she gets stabbed. good thing she never gets stabbed, huh. 👀 eventually sage becomes a weakness too; unfortunately she likes the feral, helpless little loser.

Alyss: her total inability to be chill, the ex-boyfriend she imprisoned and tortured, and her nothing-matters-and-I’m-about-to-make-that-everybody’s-problem philosophy on life.

Fintan: literally can’t be on time if his life depended on it. carries a pocket-watch everywhere and is still always late. also has a chronic case of Snooty Bastard disease in both the literal and figurative sense. unfortunately it’s incurable, RIP.

Jax: best worst dad. saved an orphaned street kid from getting experimented on by an unethical magi-scientist. raised said kid to murder people for profit. is so proud of her. it might kill him to express that though.

LofM

Halah: wanted to have a fun adventure. got trauma instead. doesn’t learn her lesson, goes on another adventure. trauma x2: electric boogaloo, but this time for a good cause.

Raoul: intolerable Noble Asshole, in love with his married cousin, thinks Halah’s evil, maybe.

Ilyas: likes Raoul, who’s kind of a jerk, and is in denial about it. in love with Halah, convinced she’ll never see him that way. totally ignorant of the fact that he’s the Best Boy.

Nilam: literally none, she’s the coolest person ever. down to fight Raoul at the slightest provocation though, which can be inconvenient.

Sirin: doesn’t realize her cousin’s in love with her. has no idea what she’s getting into when she goes on a cross-country treasonous road-trip to rescue her kid or die trying.

Nur-al-Hayat: unfortunately, mommy and daddy issues. soon to be brother issues too.

Glitch

Cipher: might get himself killed with his need to make a quip at every (in)opportune moment. his entire identity is wrapped up in his brother-who-isn’t-really-his-brother, and without him, who is he even?

Sasha: so busy angsting over whether she’s a person that she completely misses that she is the coolest ever, actually. also thinks cipher’s funny. might crack her face if she smiles though.

Etienne: rich white boy realizes too late his parents are Evil, his money comes from Evil, and that he’s Evil by association if he doesn’t do anything about it. tries to run away from it all, fails successfully, and then accidentally triggers a civil war.

Rivener

Wren: could break everything and herself if she thinks about anything for too long.

Kai: that is my precious darling angel baby boy and i love him. some might side-eye him for giving his former slaver one single chance to redeem herself and then falling in love with her, but actually his heart is just huge and enormous and you wouldn’t get it.

Cormac: Area Man In a Stupid Hat Ruins Everything. critical failure to consider other people as people.

tagging: @tracle0, @hyba, @athemarina, @zmwrites, and @sculpture-in-a-period-drama

#tag meme #rivener*#lofm.wip #oracle.wip #glitch.wip #kaatibawrites #this was SO FUN

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x-atlas-x · 2 months

Note

🦄back atcha for puzzle boys :>

but also.......... anything for 🐅 for my boy Jou?👉🏻👈🏻

Ooh, okay!! This one is gonna be so much fun :D

🦄 - Characters’ Physical Appearance

Let’s start with Yugi:

I feel like Yugi would have piercings because why not? He loves dressing edgy to begin with, so having piercings means more jewelry to cover his body in.

Wears all black most of the time, but dresses in professional clothes (like his DSOD fits) when he has to run errands or he’s working. I think he’d wear platforms to add some height and tease Atem about being shorter than him now.

Chains and leather everywhere, a phase he doesn’t grow out of from high school. There are some days where he just goes out in pure bondage because it makes him happy. He’s embraced this unique side of him, and he’s okay with being the odd one out. Wears eyeliner, but he’s jealous of Atem’s natural ability to apply it onto himself.

Depending on if that pink part of his hair is natural or not, I like the thought of him dyeing it different colors (I mainly have this headcanon for modern AUs, but it can work for canon too). At one point, he does it full rainbow, but swears to never do it again because it’s too complicated to separate each color in his hair.

Atem time!

I love the thought of him having curly hair. Whether it’s 3C or 4C matters none to me, it’s just great in general. Let this man have curly hair 🙏

I believe Atem would also get some piercings here and there. Maybe not as many as Yugi, but definitely a good amount so he can decorate his body as he pleases. He loves to match his jewelry, and occasionally will have matching earrings or necklaces with Yugi.

I like him wearing clothes that are loose and flow nicely because it’s reminiscent of what he wore back in ancient Egypt. It’s also another feeling of freedom to him, not being constrained by tight fitting clothes like Yugi wears. Sometimes he’ll wear darker outfits when he’s in the mood, but most of the time, he and Yugi are like Yin and Yang, complete opposites (fashion wise).

Naturally good at his eyeliner/kohl, something he remembers from his past. Whenever Yugi gets frustrated with it, he offers to do it for him (insert that one drawing meme of sitting on someone while doing their makeup).

And, of course, he intermingles silver and gold jewelry to match both Yugi’s choker that he was given and the cartouche Anzu gave him.

🐅 - Characterization: Character habits, personality, etc.

For Jou! Ahh, yay, I never get to talk about him, but I have some headcanons for him in my brain ^^

In the beginning of the manga/show, we all know Jou is a bully that picks on Yugi. However, he learns about friendship and how to be a good friend. He’s there for all of his friends whenever they’re going through a tough time, and he supports them to the best of his abilities.

He prefers to be independent, and he doesn’t like offloading his problems onto his friends (hypocrite). He’d rather deal with them by himself than let everyone know what’s going on in his personal life. He swears to never drink alcohol because he despises the behavior/bad habits of his father. He smokes sometimes to relieve himself of stress, but he gradually stops when he finds dueling as another means of escape from reality.

He goes to Yugi’s house a lot to play video games, teaches Atem certain customs he’s not familiar with, walks with Honda sometimes, accompanies Anzu when she needs a shopping buddy (even though he hates it), and takes his sister out on the town.

He’s protective over everyone and always throws himself in danger to avoid them getting hurt or involved. He never wants to see his friends in a bad situation, and he’ll do everything in his power to get them out of it. He aspires to follow in Atem’s footsteps after everything Atem has done for him. He sees him step down from the plate after being resurrected and decides to take his place for him when it comes to defending everyone.

We all know he has his flirtatious, naughty attitude, but when it truly comes to dating someone, you know he’s gonna take good care of whoever it is. Good boyfriend and good brother.

In the past, you would’ve never caught Jou doing anything out of the norm. He would’ve laughed in your face about it and called you a loser. Now, he doesn’t care. He sees how freeing it is for both Yugi and Atem to be who they want and dress how they want. If Shizuka wants to paint his nails for her own enjoyment, then he’ll gladly let her do it and not care if he keeps it on when he goes out in public. It made her happy, and frankly, he doesn’t care what other people think (though he was embarrassed and flustered about it when he first started stepping out of his comfort zone).

#oh dear #i have more headcanons than i thought #i hope you like these friend!#thanks for the ask :D #ask game #atlas answers

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fruitpunchjollyrancher · 3 months

Text

my shitty treatise on "ants from up there" and gale dekarios

this is the gale album of all time. and i WILL elaborate. (also warning im only posting this because i have been obsessed with this fucking album and gale for a WEEK and need it out of my brain. im probably not going to explain too many lyrics and i get nervous expressing my ideas because tbf to me it seems quite obvious but ofc i can explain, assuming anybody reads this post)

"Concorde" immediately stood out to me like oh this is so gale. i dont even think i need to explain how gale this is. the rest of the song is super gale too, i just don't want to include screenshots of the entire song

"Bread Song" has a LOT of worship imagery and also below alluding to appearing fine but rlly inside he is not well <3

oh my god. "Good Will Hunting". the mentorship but also wanting her to depend on him a little but it's unfeasible, weaving a whole life in his head that can never be because mystra will never see him as an equal... also the pre-chorus 👍 i am so well

"Haldern"... i literally dont know how to explain my feelings about this song in relation to gale pls someone tell me u see the vision

"The Place Where He Inserted the Blade" is more headcanon/my interpretation but im just gonna focus on the parts that i think everyone can agree on. first 2 lines arent super applicable to mystra but ig i can rationalize it as her being detached from the world/not rlly participating (i.e. why didnt mystra just stop the absolute herself (im aware its because ao doesn't like it when they meddle, im smoking that true forgotten realms pack trust me)). but the MAIN part of this song that is so gale to me is the vines breaking bones, bones heal, our school friends sign our cast on the playground, my body is yours. like holy shit being a chosen of mystra is a huge fucking deal and despite the pain it can cause (that he doesnt even notice because "tied me up slow with your vine stuff / it takes a few years") but it's definitely encouraged among wizards/mages in any circles he was in and by elminster ("we tell all our school friends / and they sign our cast in the playground"), then of course the last line breaks my heart. rest of the song is also rlly fucking good please listen to this album.

"Snow Globes" has more religious imagery but tbh i dont know precisely how i feel about it in relation to gale so im just gonna skip it

"Basketball Shoes" shows a more hopeful future but still #suffering because thats just how it is. concorde being mystra/his relationship to her tears his life to shreds, defines his life, leaving him with nothing. keeps seeing her everywhere (wizard stuff, his damn earring, he's always saying "by mystra" like bro you're intersecting at the market town on purpose atp (i get it)). i interpret the part after that line break (idk why genius doesnt just say its a different verse, don't quote me on this idk anything about music theory) as post-game where he's still Not Great but it's better and moving on, there is a future. doesn't look to mystra anymore (throughout album especially in good will hunting and bread song the s/o is mentioned through headphones, wifi passwords, phone calls, so "never look at our phones anymore" means he isn't thinking of her anymore or trying to curry her favor).

alsoooo should mention that i didn't include the part of "The Place Where He Inserted the Blade" that mentions a lunch metaphor in relation to panic attacks and possible cheating so the "feelin kinda normal with a packed lunch" is doubly meaningful, he isn't freaking out while making lunch anymore

this verse is tav (or whoever u romance as gale origin idgaf)/gale as he is trying to find a new object of devotion in his romance. "the clamp" could be many things, from reminders of mystra to all his perceived inadequacies to lost opportunity to become a god w/ the crown of karsus.

third section of the song im kind of undecided on w/ gale like we got the religious imagery again, could interpret "generous loan/crippling interest" as mystra's deal for him to return the crown of karsus in exchange for no orb. but yea idk yet

and that is the entire album (- chaos space marine, i didn't really think of anything related to gale when listening to it but it's still a great song, PLEASE listen to this album). so yeah if im horribly wrong on any of my takes be sure to send me hatemail k thanks bye

#to be fair i can't tell how much of this is me projecting onto gale #me 🤝 gale #pretentious ambitious probably autistic nerds who love with unspeakable devotion #anyways #gale dekarios #bg3 #Spotify #apologies for the first incarnation of this post #where i did not know how to add the “keep reading” thing #im new here ok

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soopkreem · 1 year

Note

Oh cool! Miles x Jeremy is so underrated and I love them both ! But my question is, would Miles if he had met Jeremy before Mount Massive have a like a crush on him?

Hahaha yeah, I think about them sometimes but never actually have any idea how they would work through my headcanon atm, so I never really draw them or talk about them that much. Thanks to the anon who first mentioned this ship, though, I might develop it some more, no promises tho

It depends on what kind of situation they're in. Miles has types for certain appearances, but he prioritizes personality more than anything, especially when it's Blaire hahaha

TLDR: No, no he wouldn't have developed a crush on Jer

To put it briefly, Blaire changed subtly, but a lot, after he sent Rick to the engine. Both his appearance and personality.

Well, Jer doesn't change much in front of people. He's still that charming and typical outgoing man, but the feelings are just different, something about it that makes his present version more stand out than before - and Miles can somewhat feel that difference.

I think he'd just roll his eyes at past Jeremy while liking present Jeremy more. Both personality and appearance-wise. He doesn't scream "I'm that typical alpha rich guy, and I'm here to make fun of your life decisions disguised as a humble upbringing" anymore and I hope you know what I mean lol,,,,,, it's a little bit complicated to explain, but at least I managed to tell a little bit about him www

And yea Miles probs prefers older people as well, i feel like I'm inserting myself everywhere I go im so sorry about this but like, jers cute, and i feel like Miles would look at him if their situation is a bit different, no horrors involved

So sorry for the long unnecessary ramble about Jer btw, I don't think I can explain the whole thing if I don't write them down here...

#outlast hc #anon #replies

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moni-logues · 1 year

Text

@eoieopda asked me fucking everything so here we are for round 3:

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

I have a wife (@here2bbtstrash) and two friends (@amethystwritesbts and @btsgotjams27) who have beta'd for me and whose services I'm sure I will call on again.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Welp, we all know this: unlikeable, flawed readers lmao lol hahaha ... but yeah, there's very much a thing of like, people being loved regardless and I think this is also true in fics like Dickless (where, fine, you can call reader unlikeable, too) and Wax On where it's like, hold on, I've basically already written it:

Taehyung has never, not even once in the whole time you’ve known him, made you feel weird about anything. When you struggled to tell him something you’d always wanted, a fantasy no one else had ever realised, he had looked at you with such open enthusiasm, such a keen willingness that the words fell from your mouth suddenly without effort; then he did it. When you had your period and the flu and could barely stand, he was the one who fished out your menstrual cup, no quibbling, no squawking, not even when he dropped it and it all went everywhere: all over you, all over him, all over the floor; he just emptied, rinsed, re-inserted and then cleaned everything up. And then did it again twelve hours later. When you feel ugly and bloated and undesirable, he takes as long as you’ll give him (hours sometimes) telling and showing you just how desired you are. Nothing phases him. Nothing puts him off. He accepts you entirely.

So it's not just about, I guess, redemption or being brought to light or having someone's lovability being discovered/acknowledged but also about that enduring? about acceptance that lasts, that can last.

I've mentioned this before but @amethystwritesbts said I don't write flashy fics and I absolutely don't, which is not to say I don't like fantasy/supernatural fics (I do!) or like, wild AUs or anything like that; I just tend to write like ~''''"""" real life""""''''''~ (LMAO) stuff, y'know? just people being people and having lives together? idk idk idk this answer is already too long and, like, moni, bitch, it ain't that deep, don't get too serious, but yeah, that's my answer.

I also feel like I've never written an original metaphor or similar in my life so those are definitely all recurring!

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Hoo.. depends how you define it, I guess, but I feel like the answer can't be anything but Carwash, right???

#eoieopda #ask game #sorry everyone and also sorry not sorry #leaving this gong cha now and going to see if I can check my suitcase finally #will address the others in a bit

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cryptidofthekeys · 1 year

Text

“Little... Bunny...”

Me? WRITING OC CONTENT?!? :0!!!!! *points at this story with shocked expression*

sooo yeah I uh made this OC literally just today and to distract myself from dentist shit thats upcoming and well apparently my brain also was so proud of him that he deserved a story

Sooo...

first, here’s a link to his desc: https://cryptidofthekeys.tumblr.com/post/706821528060379136/winslow-winchester-zombie-baker-oc

but also

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Death, Blood, not really cannibalism if your a zombie BUT uh there’s mentions of baking a human into a treat, Strangling

Also not a reader insert but you can insert yourself IF you so desire

-----------------

Winslow was shambling through the forest, moon high above its head, shining down on said forest below, he was following the trail of dripping blood that one of his victims so carelessly left behind, he stared down to the ground for a few moments, even if the moon hadn’t been out, his eyes are so much better than any humans in the dark.

----------------------------------

He could see all too well in the darkness, his victim had to use a flashlight to see ahead of themselves, it didn’t, besides, how this started was apparently someone was snooping in places they REALLY shouldn’t have been… It found them hiding behind one of the crates of candy that Winslow had stolen from a candy shop nearby.

--------------------------------------------

Winslow remembered their terrified scream when they locked eyes with it, it especially took some sadistic pleasure when they began to hyperventilate when he reached down to grab them, the look of fear in their eyes, however they had bumped the crate, causing it to topple over and the candy to spill out.

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The candy instantly caught Wins’ attention, his gaze snapping to the sugary sweets piling onto the floor, that was a weakness of his, he had a MAJOR sweet tooth, couldn’t resist candy when it was presented to him.

--------------------------------------

So of course it shambled over and knelt down, beginning to feast on the spilt candy and this gave the victim ample time to run, oh p l e n t y of time… Winslow ate pretty much all of that candy that had spilled onto the floor before getting up, picking up its pitchfork and then heading out.

-------------------------------------

Now how did they begin to bleed? Well, when they bumped into the crate, it must’ve cut them somewhere, either that or they injured themselves on something while running out into the forest, either way, the trail was left behind… However, Winslow didn’t care about running after them either, no no, sometimes it loved to just purposefully drag out the hunt.

-------------------------------------------

And besides, Winslow wasn’t worried about them getting away, even if they had somehow managed to get past all the bear traps its laid out over time, if the trail of blood disappeared, if they made it out of this forest, it had their scent, it could track them down no matter where they went, it continued to follow, slowly behind.

--------------------------------------

Meanwhile… The victim in question was running as if their life depended on it and it did, tears in their eyes not only from the pain of their wound but also because of fear, they looked around, eyes darting everywhere, they were frantic, they had no idea what that thing was but whatever it was, it definitely had bad intentions.

-------------------------------------

They had no idea where they were even going, all they knew is that they wanted out of this godforsaken forest, their flashlight flickered slightly the more they jostled it, they couldn’t help it, at every sound they heard, they snapped the light toward it in fear that he had found them.

---------------------------------------------------

They continued running as fast and as far as they could, they had tried their cell phone at least a few times but there was no service out here, they had even tried screaming and calling out for help even though they knew deep down nobody would hear them out here, deep in the forest like that.

--------------------------------------------------

Eventually they thought they were coming to a clearing, maybe an opening, maybe… Maybe! Th-The end of the forest! They squinted as they continued running that way and then their eyes widened, a bright smile on their face as they realized, this was it! This WAS the end of the forest! Holy shit they were almost there, almost to freedom!

------------------------------

This caused them to speed up even more, their freedom was so close, it was right there in their reach, they could taste it and then suddenly…

--------------------------------------

They yelled out as they came crashing down on the ground, they had tripped over a branch right at the threshold, their eyes widening when they fell on the ground, they winced in pain but thankfully for their sake, their ankle hadn’t been twisted or broken, they just hurt their chest and stomach mostly.

-------------------------------------------------------

The only bad thing that happened to them was that their flashlight had shattered, but that was the least of their problems, besides, they could see town lights in the distance so they just picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and then continued running.

-----------------------------------------

. . . Eventually, they had made it back home, sprinting inside and locking the door behind them, they sighed in relief and slumped down against the door, their hands and body trembling, okay… There’d be plenty of time for this in a bit, first they needed to call the police, and that’s exactly what they did.

-----------------------------------------

Called the police and explained in detail what happened to them, they didn’t mention this dude looked like he was literally undead, it looked like a zombie as they didn’t want the police to think they were crazy or anything like that, you told them where the incident happened and then they told them to keep their doors locked and windows shut.

---------------------------------------

After getting off the phone with them, they sighed in relief, it… It was going to be alright, they… They were going to investigate… They were going to investigate this mess and they wouldn’t wouldn’t have to deal with this nightmare anymore, after just staying slumped against the door and trying to calm down.

--------------------------------------------------

They eventually stood up and began to get ready for bed, they first made themselves some tea to further relax beforehand, they sat on the couch and watched some tv to further distract themselves, as they flipped through the channels mindlessly and sipped on their tea.

--------------------------------------------

A sudden noise startled them, making them nearly drop their cup of tea onto the floor, they almost immediately stood up, they felt anxious, there’s no fucking way… There’s no way it found where they lived! Hell, last they checked.

------------------------------

He hadn’t been close to them the entire time they ran, hell they weren’t even sure he followed them! For all they knew, it didn’t and they had just freaked out the entire time for nothing, but either way, they set their cup of tea down and looked around for something, anything to defend themselves with.

------------------------------------------

…All they had was the tv remote in hand but it was better than nothing, if worse came to worst they’d throw the remote at it for a distraction, either way “...H-Hello?” They called out, nothing responded back as they took a few more steps toward the direction of that noise they had heard.

--------------------------------------------

It seemed to be coming from the bedroom, it was dark, they couldn’t see a thing in the room which made them gulp nervously, th… There’s still no way, they just had to be hearing things surely! …They hoped that was the case anyway, for their sake.

---------------------------------------------

They tried calling out again and when they got close enough to the darkened room, they heard that noise again which nearly made them drop their ‘weapon’ of sorts “W-Who’s there?!” They cried out, clearly distressed and then everything fell silent.

------------------------------------------

…The silence made them even more uncomfortable than the noise did, it stayed this way for what felt like an eternity before finally, something was walking from the darkness, this caused them to scream which startled the being… That turned out to be their cat, simply walking out of the darkness.

-----------------------------------------

They looked at their cat who looked confused and scared “O-Ohhh… O-Oh… It’s you… I’m- I’m sorry bud” They apologized and knelt down, gently petting the kitty who rubbed up against the legs and head, meowing in a concerned manner, they sighed “...I-I’m fine, I just… Need some sleep… C’mon”

---------------------------------------------------

The cat chirped at that as they walked back over, turning the tv off and setting the remote down, finally heading off into the bedroom, they had made sure to seal the windows just in case and then finally they showered to get the dirty filth off them from hiding in that god damned cabin, then they brushed their teeth.

--------------------------------------------------

And finally, they walked over, plopping down onto their bed, they felt something jump onto the bed and smiled when they felt a soft warm ball of fur curling up next to them “...Goodnight…” They mumbled before promptly passing out.

-------------------------------------------------

. . . *SLAM!* They were startled awake when they heard a loud crash, it sounded like their door had been broken in, their cat even screeched and ran off somewhere, they tried to grab the cat but it was far too late for that, they heard loud heavy booming footsteps slowly moving through the house, it sounded like they were heading straight for the bedroom… Shit!

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They quickly rolled off and scrambled under the bed, it wasn’t the best hiding spot but they needed something and fast because right as they got under the bed, they saw it…

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The figure’s boots stood in the doorway, it stood there for a few moments and oh god… They could hear heavy breathing and then when it started slowly walking into the room, the heavy footsteps only accompanied the breathing, a mixture of sounds that terrified them.

-----------------------------------------------

They made sure to clasp a hand over their mouth to stifle their breathing so they couldn’t be heard as the figure shambled around their room, they heard some sniffing “...I… Know… Yer… H e r e” The figure spoke, voice deep with a southern twang to it “I can… Smell ya… Yer s c e n t…” A pause before they heard a raspy chuckle.

------------------------------------------

“Ya can’t… Escape from me… Followed… Yer scent~” Their eyes widened, there’s no way… That was impossible! He was just bluffing! …R-Right? There was no way someone could do that! Then they saw a pitchfork slowly come down into view, the pointy bits scraping against the floor as he checked the bathroom.

-----------------------------------

Then he proceeded to check the closet as they tried to keep quiet, their body trembling with fear as he stabbed into clothes piled on the floor of the closet, piercing through a lot of them, they heard him grunt a little before finally his boots slowly turned around and now he was facing their bed.

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Their eyes wide, watching in horror as he even more slowly approached the bed, as if he were approaching slowly on purpose, and then a raspy chuckle “...Wanna know somethin’, little bunny?” There was a pause as he stopped directly in front of the bed. At first, they thought he was going to kneel down.

---------------------------------------------------------

But instead, they screamed when the bed was suddenly lifted with o n e hand alone and thrown against the doorway of the bedroom, it even broke through it along with some bits of the wall “I knew ya… Were under here th’ whole… T i m e~” They felt tears pricking their eyes “I-I don’t know who you are… O-Or wh-what you are but P-PLEASE!”

--------------------------------------------------------------

They cried, sitting up and scrambling until their back hit the wall as they had nowhere else to go. “P-Please don’t kill me!” He then knelt down over them, they whimpered when feeling his hot breath hit their skin, he reeked of death and decay, and honestly it looked dead as well, it looked like a… A zombie!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Their breath hitched in their throat, eyes wide when they felt a hand wrap around their throat, they instantly reached up to grip at his wrist “N-No no no! NOnonono!” They cried as they were then lifted up against the wall, the hand already too tight, they felt broken jagged nails piercing their flesh.

-------------------------------------------------

Sobbing, they looked into the other’s eyes, his eyes dilated with excitement “P-Ple… Glk!” It squeezed a little tighter and they struggled, legs kicking as it held them in place against the wall, they wheezed and spluttered, coughing and trying desperately to get some air “H-Hhngh..! P-Pl… ea…se…” They rasped, hands gripping at its wrist, trying to tear it off their throat.

-------------------------------------------

“I-I…. I’ll… G-Gi… hh.. Give you… an… Any…thi…ng” It’s expression never changing, just a mania and relishing in their suffering before finally holding up the pitchfork with the other hand, they tried screaming and crying for help, struggling and squirming even more in its grasp, legs banging against the wall as they stared, horrified at the weapon about to pierce them.

----------------------------------------

And then finally… Winslow sunk the pitchfork directly into their stomach, he listened in delight at the agonized scream they had let out when he let go of their throat, blood quickly pooling around the wound, especially when it drove the weapon further into them, their body convulsed with pain.

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Their struggling ceased slowly, their frantic kicks slowing down until their feet simply went limp, they died with a horrified expression on their face but that just seemed to delight Wins, it looked over its handiwork, tilting its head slightly, looking them up and down before finally prying the pitchfork from the wall and their body.

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The body falling onto the floor with a loud thud, Winslow stared down at the body for a few moments before chuckling to itself and picking them up, swinging them over his shoulder “...You’ll make… A g r e a t… Treat…” And then as it slowly lumbered out of the house with its fresh meal in tow… He thought about all the great dishes he could prepare with them.

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All the treats he could potentially bake them into, it made Winslow drool with excitement, but there’d be plenty of time to figure out what it wanted to bake them into when it got back home to its cabin deep in the woods. . .

#The Cryptid's Writings #Winslow Winchester #zombie oc #oc #original character #original character story #also surprisingly this made it to 2000 and somethin words #i didnt think it would but surprise surprise

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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 2 months

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Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 37.5: A Trip Down Memory Lane

Season 5 Masterlist

The hours rolled by, filled with the hilarity of watching the antics of another dimension, until the sun set beyond the skyline, not that anyone could tell in the Man Cave.

Curled and snuggled on the couch, the little family kept the jokes, drinks, and laughter flowing long after Schwoz had to close the tear in time. Something about risking blowing a hole in the universe if he let them watch any longer, so, much to their disappointment, no more entertainment for them.

By nine, (y/n) ordered that it was time for the kids to head home, knowing they had another day of work in the morning, and she didn't want them to be late. That was nonsense; everyone knew she hated the idea of them walking home in the dark, telling them to stick together and ensure everyone was escorted to the door. They weren't babies anymore, but they were her babies, and that was all that mattered.

After giving their favourite sweet girl one last hug for the night, Henry, Jasper, Piper, and Charlotte left, heading up and into Junk-N-Stuff while Schwoz and the couple were left to clean up. How could four teenagers make so much mess? Popcorn, candy, and soda cans were scattered everywhere, even where people hadn't been sitting. It baffled (y/n), who was exhausted when she and Ray retired to their bedroom for the night.

"Tired, sweet girl?" Ray asked as he unbuttoned his shirt, hearing her yawn from where she sat at her vanity unit. Taking off the minimal makeup she wore wasn't particularly interesting, but it didn't warrant her yawning, so he knew he needed to get her tucked up in bed soon. That could have something to do with him; after all, he had her up early that day with a...personal problem.

"Hmmm?" The heroine hummed sleepily, finding his gaze in the mirror as she rubbed her forehead with a cotton pad doused in remover. It had been a long day, made even longer by flicking through various moments of their lives, so she had to think for a minute before his question caught up with her.

"Oh...yeah. Need sleep, doof."

"Long day, huh?" Ray smiled, shrugging his tight, navy blue shirt from his shoulders to expose the delicious expanse of his chiselled chest. He was so unbelievably hot, but to her disappointment and frustration, (y/n) couldn't find it in herself to jump his bones, the need to snooze screaming louder than any other instinct.

Long day...yeah, he could say that.

"Mhmm...I can't believe it's been nearly five years since Henry came here. It only feels like yesterday when he was still my lil baby," she smiled sadly, not wanting to cry again, but it felt like she'd blinked and missed everything, despite having lived it.

Is this how parents feel about their actual children? One minute, they're gangly, awkward preteens, and the next, they're adults, more focused on flying the nest than staying home. She couldn't hold on forever, but suddenly, everything had come at once, and she wasn't sure if she wanted things to change.

"Yeah, the kid's gotten taller than me. When did that happen?" Ray joked as he stepped out of his jeans, making the woman chuckle at how he puffed his cheeks out like he was mad. It didn't matter - Henry was tall but still needed to muscle up, whilst his boss was perfect just the way he was. So perfect in her eyes...

Seeing his body stretch and ripple in the soft, honey-coloured light emitting from their bedside lamp eased her heartache, knowing that Ray always stayed the same while everyone changed around her. Not in a wrong way, just that she could close her eyes and expect to see the same crystalline clue looking back at her with the same love they'd always held.

Everyone always said Captain Man was a flight risk. Yet, he was dependable to her, holding her through everything and sticking by her side. The one constant in her life.

"You haven't changed, though, doofus. You've not changed one bit in all the years we've known each other.

"Oh, really?" Ray grinned, pulling both socks from his feet before wandering over to her chair with his tanned skin on display for her to enjoy. He stood behind her, hands resting on the chair's back so he could lean down and peck her cheek, lips next to her ear as she held his adoring gaze.

He loved her like this, fresh-faced, hair freshly brushed out, and wearing nothing but underwear before she changed into her pyjamas. When she smiled, he felt the sun's warmth on his face, making him cup her jaw from behind to pull her lips closer. She looked so natural and pure, young and innocent, like the first day he met her, back when he didn't know how one person could change him so much.

It was true; he hadn't changed much since then, not in appearance, personality, or habits, but there was one difference.

"I was a different man back then, darlin'. I didn't know what it was like to love you..."

First day, fresh face, new chances. Let's go, (y/l/n).

That's what (y/n) told herself as she stared at herself in the mirror, her face squeaky clean after she scrubbed it within an inch of its life to wake herself up. This was mad, she was mad--everything was mad about this situation, but it was too late to go back now.

No one told her that she'd find employment so soon after college. Still, she'd at least thought it would be working for a big company - aviation or automotive engineering, something like that, given her chosen degree. No one said anything about Captain Man wanting her in his super secret Man Cave.

That was the maddest thing of all. Her in the Man Cave. Her working for the Captain Man. It came out of nowhere; one minute, she was held at gunpoint in her favourite café with the handsome hero giving her his number. The next thing she knew, she received a text while packing up her dorm room.

Ray Manchester/Captain Man: Hey, it's me. Captain Man. We met at the café on the corner of South Street on Thursday. Hope you don't think this is weird, but I checked you out and saw you're graduating without anywhere to go. How do you fancy a job?

You could've knocked her down with a feather. Seriously, he remembered her number amongst the hundreds he collected every day. The man was a walking phone book, yet something told him to text little old her, even though she wasn't anything special. Not even beautiful by traditional standards.

No, (y/n) (y/l/n) was nothing to shout about. She didn't fall into the "not like other girls" category but wasn't a pick me, either. She was hideously average - ordinary - and she was okay with that, so why did Captain Man choose her?

Oh, well, not Captain Man. Ray Manchester. As she had now learned. She could keep a secret, having been almost bullied into it when a funny bald, almost coconut-headed man threatened to wipe her memory if she told anyone about her offer. A helper to the legendary hero, to help with any and all his needs, whether it be cleaning, washing, repairing, tidying, lying, cooking--you name it, she had to do it.

'A glorified cleaner,' she'd thought to herself, feeling slightly disappointed that she couldn't put her skills in engineering to more use, but for fifteen dollars an hour, she wasn't complaining, and neither did she come cheap.

It was her only condition to be adequately paid if she was expected to do all the jobs he didn't want to, even though he was generous enough to give her a place to live.

Her room was slowly starting to feel like home now she'd finished unpacking, but now it was time to get serious. Now, there was work to be done, which meant she had to leave her sanctuary and socialise. Why did she think she could do this?

Taking a deep breath, she patted her face dry and left the bathroom, shrugging on her jacket before heading for the door. She couldn't hide forever, and this was a good job. A job she didn't want to mess up because Captain Man had put his faith in her, and that had to count for something.

"Hey..." she greeted her new friends shyly after walking down the corridor and through the cog, sprog, door thing. She was still getting used to how big the place was - hundreds of rooms and all underground - but she at least knew how to get to the main one, where the small man, Schwoz, and her new boss were waiting.

"Hello!" Schwoz greeted her kindly, giving the girl his friendliest smile since he noted how she nervously played with her sleeves as she tentatively approached.

He wasn't one for new faces, but after reading the woman's profile, he determined she'd do some good to the Man Cave and perhaps even rub off on Ray with her diligence and brains. A new friend to have an intelligent conversation with would be a change.

"You made it! Welcome to your first day in the Man Cave, (y/n)!" Ray told her warmly, throwing his arms open to gesture to the grand estate he'd carved out all on his own--and by that, he meant he'd told Schwoz what to do.

He still thought she was pretty - a hell of a lot prettier than when she'd faced a dangerous criminal and spilt coffee down her shirt, but he told himself to stop it. If he was going to have someone else helping him, he'd have to remain professional and draw a few lines between them, despite his initial attraction. For all her shyness, he knew the temper and passion that hid within her, and he knew that spark was missing in his Man Cave.

So, he deemed her an employee - a friend - and left it at that.

"Thank you, Mr Manchester. I still think this is so generous of you," (y/n) replied shyly, trying to stop the heat from rising on her face, but she couldn't help but be flustered in his presence.

The man was terrifying, both from his looks and his formidable reputation. Everyone loved Captain Man, respected him, and placed him on a pedestal, so she didn't want to upset or fall in love with him.

She still thought love was ridiculous. A childish schoolgirl fantasy, but looking at him now, dressed in civilian clothes with his hair floppy and ungroomed, he was more handsome than ever. Captain Man was good, but Ray Manchester was even better, and she was slightly terrified of forming a crush.

She was beginning to understand why so many of her friends fancied him, so she scolded herself, saying he was still a player, a heartbreaker, and a good-time boy, not to mention her boss now. She wouldn't let herself fall in love - the mere thought was laughable.

Average girls don't get handsome heroes to fall in love with them. That's just the circle of life.

"Hey, what have I said about you calling me that? Come on, call me Ray. Mr Manchester makes me feel old," the man told her, playfully nudging her elbow as she giggled nervously, feeling like her cheeks were on fire. He'd said to relax and treat this like her new home, but it was still her workplace - kinda hard to relax.

"Oh, right... I forgot."

"No worries. It takes a while to get used to this place," Ray grinned, seeing how she rubbed her hands together and avoided holding his gaze for too long.

She was sweet, perhaps slightly shyer than his initial impression, and easily spooked, but it was only her second day. Yesterday, she'd been too busy unpacking her stuff and sorting everything out to do much, so he hoped to get to know her beyond what he'd read on various national databases.

"So..." (y/n) said awkwardly, staring at her feet as Schwoz returned to his tinkering. "What do you want me to do first?"

"Uh, well, I spilt some chips and guacamole over there, so you can start mopping it up for me, and we'll go from there," Ray pointed at a gooey green mess across the room.

(y/n) slid her eyes to the guac, her mouth slowly falling open at the browning slop and wasn't necessarily spilt, more like dropped in a glass bowl, meaning it wouldn't be a quick, easy job. More dangerous and disgusting, not something she'd expected to do once she had her degree.

"Uh, sure...and then, I can do something...technical?" She asked, looking hopeful since she wasn't above a bit of cleaning, but she didn't want her life to revolve around his clumsiness, no matter how much he paid her. It was demeaning and a waste of her skill and talent.

"Then, you can do my laundry. And I think my toilet needs unblocking, so..." Ray said, looking off to the side as he picked up a plunger from Schwoz's toolbox and held it out to her. The woman took it with a shocked expression, looking at the plunger like it came from Mars because what the fuck?

She could clean, but she drew the line at shovelling shit all day, not when she'd come first in science fairs, earned the highest grade in her year, and turned down some top offers from various businessmen searching for young talent. Working for Captain Man seemed like the obvious choice, one connected with prestige and satisfaction for her, even if no one else would know - she would. At least, that's what she'd thought.

"Clean guacamole...okay," she nodded, grabbing a pair of rubber gloves from a trolley before taking a bundle of cleaning products with the plunger.

As much as she wanted to tell him to fuck off and do it himself - his mess, his responsibility - she couldn't. Her voice died the second she looked up at him, comparing the man to a mountain or a god because, goddamn, he was handsome, strong, and popular, so everything she wasn't. Who was she to talk back to him?

Her nerves wouldn't let her say anything, so she put her head down and got on, silently walking over to the spillage next to the oddly circular couch.

It wasn't a horrible job, even if she had to dodge the shards of broken glass. Perhaps a little menial, but she scooped the gunk into a bucket and efficiently wiped the stain it left behind with a blob of bleach, leaving the floor spotlessly clean in minutes.

Schwoz watched with curious eyes, wondering how the girl who'd called his boss a little spandex bastard would put up with his barking orders. Not even one witty remark fell from her lips, none of the fire before, and he considered if Ray had made a mistake. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been blinded by gorgeous looks, but he felt sure this girl had some brains. Maybe it was just a case of good grades but no gumption.

"Make sure you get all the grease up. I'd hate to slip when I'm playing mini golf or something," Ray said casually, more focused on texting whichever girl he was inviting out later on than the woman on her hands and knees, scrubbing his floors.

The rhythmic scraping of her brush against the tiles slowed down as his words sunk in. Make sure you get the grease up. You. Not him. You. The one with mug written across her forehead. She used to design engines for racecars and once built a circuit for a rocket ship, yet here she was, taking orders.

Was it just her, or was Captain Man looking down on her?

"Oh, and by the way, you'll need to do all the counting stuff for the store upstairs. I'd do it myself, but math, am I right? I mean, do I look like a nerd? Also, make sure you dust all the junk up there before I go out for my hot da--"

"Um, excuse me...Ray?" She said awkwardly, sitting back on her haunches to look at him, even if she had a foreboding feeling like she was throwing her job prospects away before properly starting.

It was probably dumb, and she lamented the thought of repacking all her stuff if he kicked her out, but he was annoying her. What happened to the gentleman the magazines said he was? According to Swellview Cosmopolitan, Captain Man would never make a lady clean his home from top to bottom without saying please. If there was a time to stand up for herself, the time was now.

"You missed a spot..." he muttered, limply gesturing to a tiny flicker of green paste on the couch arm. From her deductions, some careless idiot had left the bowl on the arm, and it had fallen off, leaving a key lime smear and smush for the next sucker in line to wipe up.

The rag she'd use to remove it fell from her hand, her eyes wide and mouth ajar at his brazen rudeness, wondering what happened to the bashful, enchanting hero who'd charmed his way into her phone book, promising to return her dry cleaning, which he did when he picked up her and her entire life belongings in the "Man Van". Was she not even worth looking at?

Whatever he was doing, or rather, whoever he was texting, must've been captivating, worthier of his attention since he barely looked up from his PearPhone, just to see if she'd cleaned thoroughly.

"I like math," she said simply when her brain finally kicked into gear, although it wasn't quite the scathing comeback she had hoped for.

Part of her was slightly offended that he thought the subject was for nerds, but she got it. Not everyone liked numbers - fair enough. But accounting? Economics? She couldn't think of anything more dreary, and how he said it... he wasn't doing his books. Yet, he insulted the girl he expected to manage an entire business. His business.

The math wasn't mathing.

"Huh?" Ray mumbled cluelessly, glancing away from his screen and the latest message some boring brunette had sent him to see his new employee had gotten to her feet. And was glaring at him - softly, admittedly - but she didn't look happy.

"You said math is for nerds. I like math. Math is good."

Wow, way to tell him where to go, (y/l/n). She couldn't help but scold herself because what was that? What started as an attempt to chew his ear off ended in her sounding like a preschooler, all simple sentences and boring adjectives.

Ray stopped and looked. Really looked. In the time he'd flirted, asked a girl out, and received an emphatic YES!, her breathing had increased, a slight crease formed between her eyebrows, and her fists had closed, making the guac-covered rubber gloves squeak between her fingers.

He glanced at Schwoz, who just shrugged and quietly returned to his soldering, knowing a steadily growing anger when he saw one.

The genius knew Ray was dense, and he didn't understand his emotions, let alone someone else's. That's why his relationships never lasted more than a couple of months. No one had ever shown him anything worth an emotional investment. Love was cheap and friendship easy, so he'd never truly cared for someone except himself.

Finding no answers from his handyman, the hero faced his newest employee, staring at her curiously. It didn't help (y/n)'s inner turmoil, his icy blue eyes penetrating her soul and shattering her strength to fight back because, wow. He made it so hard with his handsomeness, and the thought of an argument made her question every idea and comeback she planned, wondering if she really wanted to battle Captain Man.

Talk about idiotic. The guy was known for tearing his enemies apart, both physically and mentally, hitting them with the cruellest insults and harshest ridicule. She wasn't sure if her inner nerd could take that...too shy and timid to say something in her defence. Maybe this was stupid, the whole job.

She couldn't do this...

"Ain't no shame in that--hey, when you're unblocking my toilet, make sure you flush it twice. Gets preeeeetty hectic in there," the large man grinned, his large hand reaching out to warmly grasp her shoulder and shake it lightly in a friendly gesture.

(y/n) stared at it, ignoring the sparks shooting down her spine at how comforting his touch was and how his hand seemed to dwarf the rest of her. Under any other circumstances, she would've melted at the attention he paid her like every other girl in the city, who would've called her mad for glaring at Captain Man, but that was it. The final straw. The pretence that he was giving her advice, like cleaning his toilet was an honour.

"I'll have you know I have a first-class degree in mechanical engineering. I've studied multivariate calculus and differential equations--"

"Oh, great! You'll remember how many flushes, then," he exclaimed, chuckling and prodding Schwoz so he'd laugh at his joke too, but (y/n)'s face fell like rain before a thunderstorm. Seeing him take what she was proud of - the late study nights, the tears, the endless iced coffees, the countless empty pens, the hundreds of dead trees, the eight AM classes - and make a mockery of it killed something inside her, and it was like she went numb.

The movies always said some romantic bullshit about the feeling of being plunged into icy water when hope dies, but now she understood it. As if she imagined that Captain Man would want to be her friend and as if she let herself believe for a single second that she was special. Those butterflies she felt outside the café when he smiled at her turned to daggers, tearing her insides up as his shoulders rolled and hers sagged.

It was the curse of being hideously average. Ordinary. Sickeningly so. She didn't have the legs to captivate his attention or the skill to perfect a winged eyeliner. She couldn't even be bothered most mornings to drag a mascara wand through her eyelashes, and her wardrobe was that of a woman forty years older than her - all sweaters, cuffed jeans, and well-worn sneakers. She didn't fit the job requirements; she hadn't won a beauty pageant.

Who was she kidding? Her first day was doomed to fail from the moment she believed when he said she was beautiful.

"Why don't you do the world a favour and flush yourself?" She said slowly, fighting frustrated tears as she tore the gloves off her hands and slapped them against his chest.

A stab of panic shot through her when Ray's eyes widened at her sudden outburst, but the adrenaline had already kicked in, making her run on a high. Nothing could take her down except her own actions, and if she was going to set fire to herself, she'd stand back and watch the room glow before she went. Maybe then he'd think before employing some other sucker.

"Excuse m--"

"Look, I know you're Captain Man, and everyone loves you, and I should be respectful and grateful because you've given me this job and a room to live in. Really, I should be indebted to you," she said, folding her arms and looking straight at him, feeling her confidence rise when the hulking hero stared back like a deer in headlights.

His mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, looking for an intelligent reply or crooning comment to match her underhanded compliments because it was true. He went out of his way to welcome her into his Man Cave, yet she had the balls to call him out. Interesting...

Schwoz set down his tools and listened--eavesdropped, really. When Ray said he was bringing home a firecracker, he imagined some venom-spitting Valley girl, all mouth and sass but none of the class, but this was...different. Watching her clean the spilt dip without any arguments made him write (y/n) down as a doormat--the type of girl he'd seen in college, all brains and no voice box. Perhaps this was the temper that made the man daydream for days after they first met...

"But I've worked too long and hard to be reduced to...this!" The girl exclaimed, wildly gesturing to the gloves and cleaning chemicals, already resenting the idea of wearing them again and spending the rest of her days as a skivvy on her hands and knees.

"On the phone, you said you needed help from someone like me, and I told you what I can do. Minimal cleaning, you said. Engineering opportunities, you said. Better than anything any company could offer you. And I fell for it. I thought working for a superhero would be glamorous, or at least, sometimes!"

"It is...glamorous," Ray replied, his words clumsy and clunky in his mouth as the fire in her eyes. She scoffed at his words, shaking her head and laughing bitterly because maybe it was like that for him.

When he was parading in front of the cameras after helping an old lady cross the street, perhaps the free dinners and call girls were lovely. Almost like he was a movie star. Did he never spare a thought for those who worked their asses off to make his life sparkle?

"You want me to unblock your toilet! How is that glamorous?!" She hissed, pointing sharply at the plunger by her feet, making the men look at it, and she was silently pleased to see a little shame in their eyes, especially Ray's.

"I didn't agree to work for you just to be ordered about. Yeah, I'll clean if it needs doing, but would it kill you to say, please? You might think you're high and mighty, but that doesn't mean you're above me in any way. I'd rather be an unemployed nerd than degrade people and misplace intelligence the way you do," she ranted, not knowing how to stop once she got going, lashing out with a surprising amount of emotion to say she'd only been at work for about an hour.

She could see it now in the newspapers tomorrow; woman sets record for the shortest time before being fired. This had to be a low point in her life, knowingly and willingly burning any chance of future employment, hacking her social ladder to splinters, and casting her reputation into the depths. Self-sacrifice was tragic, but she'd always enjoyed tragedies - at least they were memorable, unlike the people who loyally follow a man by others' perception of him alone.

"Oh, and by the way, how about you take your plunger, turn it sideways, and shove it right up your ass? See how easy it is to unblock your toilet, then..."

Ray was speechless. Utterly speechless. The room was silent. A pin couldn't be heard, even when Schwoz dropped it on the floor, given that (y/n) couldn't hear anything but the flood rushing past her ears. All she saw was red and her self-worth shining above everything else, which made his wide-eyed stare a little more bearable. But only just.

This was it. This was the girl Ray had met outside the café. Part of him had questioned whether he'd mistakenly picked her as his chief helper, but she proved him wrong yet again. He needed to stop judging her before she came into her own because he kept looking like an idiot - an idiot whose mouth got the better of him again.

In truth, Ray didn't technically need an extra set of hands in the Man Cave. Schwoz could do everything just fine - he was handy like that. But as much as he secretly appreciated the guy, he felt something was missing. He had this huge hideout, hundreds of rooms, and adoring fans, but he was lonely. He didn't know how to be...normal. He wanted a friend. Someone brave enough to talk back occasionally, to keep him in line and plug the gap.

Bumping into her that day felt like fate like someone had sent her to show him how not-lonely feels. Laughing and joking with her, even if it wasn't flirting, felt easy, and for the first time in his life, he didn't feel the need to woo her. If anything, he was terrified of screwing it up. He was good at screwing up what could've been a beautiful friendship, and he desperately didn't want it to happen with her - the only girl he'd ever shared his secret identity with.

So, when she sighed and moved to return to her room, presumably to say, sorry, this isn't working out, and shove her belongings into boxes again, his heart lurched. If this was goodbye, he didn't want it to be on such bad terms...or he'd rather it not be goodbye at all.

"I'll take an hour's payment and have my room cleared out by tomorrow morning. I'm sorry--"

"Please, don't."

(y/n) looked up in shock, wondering if she'd heard the first word correctly. Did he--did he say the P-word? Even on national TV, she couldn't remember seeing or hearing Captain Man being polite - charming and captivating, but never truly nice. That always made her switch channels, knowing people were too blind to see the real him--how he dated and dropped girls like hot potatoes, paraded in front of cameras, and through hissy fits whenever someone else took the spotlight.

She liked to think she met a different side of him after the hostage situation, fooling herself so severely that she accepted the job. He quickly proved her wrong--or had he? This three-sixty personality change practically gave her whiplash and made her suspicious about what he was crawling for.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Please, don't...go. I'm--I'm--so--sur---serr--I'm--sorry," Ray stammered, struggling to force the foreign word out of his mouth, almost like the five letters tasted like poison on his tongue. He wasn't used to grovelling for forgiveness, but this girl...she was too sweet to disappoint and disgust, no matter how bitter the pill was to swallow.

"Wow...that was excruciating to watch," (y/n) replied sarcastically, a smile twinging on her lips at how silly he looked, retching and struggling to say a simple word, yet he called himself mighty. What a dingus...no, dork...no...doofus. Yes. What a doofus.

"Look, I'm...sorry. I'm just...not good at the whole people thing," he confessed, almost ashamed at how badly things had developed and in record time. But at least it made her unfold her arms, looking slightly sceptical yet curious at his words.

Him? Bad with people? It almost felt like a mockery of those like her, who could barely string a sentence together at times because she'd seen the magazines, watched the interviews, and lived it in real life. The man could sweet talk the pants off any woman and fool any man into giving him the shirt off their back if he wanted it. Not good with people, her ass.

"Seriously? You're Captain Man. I hate to break it to you, but you've made a living out of being good with people."

"Yeah, as Captain Man. But I'm me. Ray. I'm just a loser with a junk store when I'm out of uniform. Nothing special," he gave her a sad smile, genuinely believing that his work was his escape and prison rolled into one.

It allowed him to be something bigger than Ray Manchester could ever dream about, but there lay the paradox. Captain Man allowed him to do whatever he wanted, but no one could ever share in that life. He couldn't tell the girls who threw themselves at his feet who he was because he was sure they'd walk away when he removed his mask. They loved the idea of him, not who he was.

Ray Manchester's dreams stretched to a simple life where he loved and was loved in return, but Captain Man meant they'd never be realised. That was the price he paid for fame; to be adored in one life and shunned in another. And as depressing as that seemed, he'd made peace with it. Or, that's what he told himself in the middle of the night when his tears pooled in his ears.

"Hey, don't say that. I don't think you're a loser," (y/n) instantly replied, showing a different side of herself as her fury melted to be replaced with kindness and concern. She didn't like how he'd bossed her around. But, suddenly, she wasn't talking to the infamous hero but stepping toward him--into his personal space.

Standing before her was a man, who, like every other man in the world, had his hopes, dreams, doubts, and fears, and one was shockingly similar to hers.

He was average. Hideously average. So normal and ordinary and boring that she'd walk past him on the street and never imagine he was Captain Man, looked over and dismissed like she was. A kindred spirit lost and looking for his place in the world because all the glory Captain Man brought him didn't give him peace. Just like her.

"You're sweet, but I am. Trust me, half the women in this town hate my guts, and the other half think I'm an idiot. I just...always seem to screw it up."

"So what if they hate you? You trust me. They'd be all over you if they knew what you did in your spare time. They just don't know what they're missing, and if they can't find something in you to love, they're the idiots. And they're not worth your time," she told him firmly, her tone leaving no room for doubt.

It was strange; she could never give herself advice like this when the boys she fancied rejected her love or when one of her friends was unreasonably mean. She couldn't tell herself to let them go, no matter how horrible they were, but a wave of protectiveness washed over her for some reason. Her head told her not to care; the guy was an asshole, self-centred and childish, but her heart said otherwise.

Caring was always her biggest weakness, bothering when no one else would because it didn't feel right to stand there and do nothing.

"I'm sorry I was rude to you. It was wrong of me to give a sweet girl like you so many demands," Ray whispered, his eyes soft and hazy as her words sunk in.

No one had ever told him something like that--that if someone didn't like him, that was their problem, not his. It had drilled into him from the moment he'd become indestructible that if he wanted to people to like him, he had to be a people pleaser. He had to smile and perform for their affection; something was wrong with him if it didn't work.

If anyone deserved an apology, it was her, the girl who pushed aside her anger to make him feel better. Him. The one who made her feel bad. She put him before herself, even at the sacrifice of her argument and pride. No one had ever done that before. No one had ever smiled at him like he was worthy of kindness and caring words.

It was unknown, but he knew he'd move mountains to feel his tummy's warm, gooey feeling again when her eyes sparkled at him. He wouldn't mind feeling it for the rest of his life.

"It's okay. I think this is new for the both of us," (y/n) said softly, feeling at ease for the first time since she fell from the store above them in that godforsaken elevator.

It was like an understanding settled between them; they were entirely different people, coming from different backgrounds and interests and ideas, but they glued together. It shouldn't have worked, but it did, like how two puzzle pieces look different, but they fit anyway. Neither was above the other, and they liked it that way.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. I, uh...tend to sort of angrily word-vomit when I'm mad..."

"How about we start over? Nice to meet you. I'm Ray Manchester," the man smiled, politely presenting her his massive hand as a peace offering. She looked down at it, eyes bugging out of her head like he'd done something mad. For a moment, Ray wondered if he'd made the obviously wrong choice. He didn't know what women wanted, but this seemed like an excellent way to forget about their poor beginnings and go again unless he'd accidentally offended her.

Maybe she didn't want to touch his gross hand. Perhaps, despite the serenity finally falling over them, she still wanted to leave, pack up her things, and work for a better man. A kinder man. He wouldn't be surprised or blame her, even if the thought of her leaving left him feeling bitterly disappointed.

But then, to his shock and utter relief...

"(y/n) (y/l/n). I'm your new helper," the woman replied, giving him her most radiant smile as she accepted his offer, firmly shaking his hand. The warmth from her soft skin eased his fears and made him laugh, even though nothing was inherently funny. Knowing he had her forgiveness made the world seem a little brighter, but her grin slowed it down.

He swore time stopped for a second, making his heart skip a beat as her eyes crinkled in happiness and her feet danced on the spot. Her body bounced with positivity, the joy soaking into his bones and lifting him up with her, and she was beautiful in her halo of self-created light. So beautiful.

Average, normal, easy to look over, and beautiful. Better than any model he'd ever been out with.

"Well, Miss (y/l/n), how would you like to start by helping Schwoz with some repairs? If you wouldn't mind... The auto-snacker has been freezing sodas and melting ice cream."

"I'll get right on it, Ray," she grinned again, almost bashful under his newfound kindness, and although he didn't realise it, Ray quickly became addicted to making her happy. It was surprisingly simple to make her smile, not because she was easy to please, but because he could just be himself, and she loved to see it.

She didn't want any macho bullshit or to be blinded by his fame. She preferred people to be transparent and felt that she and this version of him could grow to be great friends. When he put it like that, she'd do anything for him, giggling like a schoolgirl under his soft gaze, something that practically had Schwoz on his knees.

Finally, a girl who was good for him. Not one with paintbrushes for eyelashes, the brains of a squirrel, or an agenda to use and dump him. He already knew (y/n) would make an impression on the Man Cave as she eagerly bounced up to him and demanded he let her help. He just hoped Ray didn't add her to his bedpost - a girl like that was too precious to break.

"What's going on out here?"

"Ah, now here's a face you haven't met before. (y/n), I'd like you to meet my soon-to-be sidekick, Drex..."

He just hoped nothing would go wrong...

"I still can't believe we had our first fight and make-up on my first day," (y/n) chuckled, breaking into reality again as she smeared a few blobs of moisturiser across her face. She still found it hilarious that her younger self had the gall to tell her boss - Captain Man - to shove a plunger up his ass, but she still stood by what she said. And it taught Ray not to order her about ever again.

"I'm still sorry about that. You know I didn't mean to upset you, sweet girl," Ray muttered, ignoring that twinge in his back as he awkwardly bent over to place kisses along her shoulder line. Every time he looked back on her first official day in the Man Cave, he couldn't help but be wracked with guilt over some of the deplorable, degrading tasks he wanted her to do, all of which were far below what a girl as sweet as her should've been doing. Honestly, it was like he wanted his soulmate to hate him...

"Raymond, it was almost thirteen years ago. You know I forgave you the minute you looked at me with those big, doofy eyes," she replied, mirthfully rolling her eyes at how silly he was, clinging to something so tiny and inconsequential when she was just as bad.

It wasn't her best idea to risk her job when she didn't have another one to go to or even somewhere in the city to live, and she wasn't as bright as she thought she was, fresh out of college. Still, their younger selves were footloose, fancy-free, and really fucking stupid. That may be why they clicked from the get-go.

"I know, but--"

"But nothing, you big doofus. How many other times have we pissed each other off? Like, a million? We're still here, we're still in love, and we're doing all right...unless there's something you want to tell me," she teased, reaching up to rake her fingers through his ruffled, silky hair.

The man took her hand and kissed her wrist, feeling her pulse gently thrumming against his lips as he caught her gaze in the mirror again. She still bewitched him with that smile, enchanting him so entirely that he couldn't look away, not even with the temptation of her semi-naked form on display.

"Of course, there isn't. You make everything so perfect, darlin'," he cooed, nuzzling his face into her sweet-smelling skin as she giggled and squirmed from the ticklish sensation. All the flashbacks made him clingy and sappy, reminding him repeatedly why he'd fallen in love with her--why he'd chosen to place her at the centre of his universe.

Everything good in his life came from her - she made it happen. He would've gone mad long ago if it wasn't for her always by his side, keeping him and Captain Man on the straight and narrow. He wouldn't have his little mismatched family if she didn't show him how to love. He wouldn't be so excited to see what's coming next if she didn't give him the honour of agreeing to become his wife.

"Flattery will get you nowhere..."

"On the contrary, it's gotten me everywhere in the past, especially between your thighs," he replied cheekily, chuckling against her neck when she reached up to whack whatever body part her hand found first - the side of his head. Still, she smirked and giggled as much as he did, ignoring how warm her ears felt as she rose from her seat and turned to slot into his embrace as she'd done many times before.

"A tempting offer, doofus..." she said, winding her arms around his neck after tucking the chair under the vanity unit. His hands settled on her waist, still feeling impossibly large even after all their years together, pulling her close until her bare navel pressed against his. No longer restricted by their uneven heights, he quickly pressed his lips to her, diving into his favourite taste - honey in all its addictive sweetness. He wondered how he went all that time without it, knowing he needed it to live now.

"But I want to put on my pyjamas." With that, she pulled away, leaving him hooked but unsatisfied after breaking the kiss far too early for his liking. His dark eyes lingered on her body as she turned to find her silky slip-like nightie waiting on the bed.

Maybe it wasn't the pyjama idea she planted in his head. Still, Ray didn't complain when she quickly removed her underwear in what he'd call the hottest striptease, tossing the garments in the laundry basket before reaching for the slip. It was soft, breathable, and comfy, perfect for sleeping in, but when she felt for it, all she touched was the coarser fabric of the cotton comforter.

"Allow me, sweet girl," Ray rumbled, suddenly crowding behind her, making her breathless. She'd always called him her human heater, the warmth seeping into her body as he pressed himself against her, clearly not in the mood to leave her alone that night. Or any night. He didn't understand why any man in love with his wife would want to stop worshipping her, especially if they had one as perfect as his.

Without another word, (y/n) lifted her arms above her head, allowing Ray to sweep the swiped silk over her head and poke her arms through the proper holes. She could dress herself, but there was something so romantic and intimate about letting him do it, knowing his protective, nurturing instinct drove him to care for her in every way, every day.

It was the least he could do for her. She showed him new ways of living that had always seemed out of reach, guided him into new territory that he'd shunned in the past, and taught him that love could touch him in all manner of ways.

It was another Thursday night, like every other Thursday night in the last seven years. And nothing exciting ever happened in the Man Cave on Thursday night.

Throughout the week, Ray was always busy with his hero work, being called out to various emergencies that kept him entertained, and (y/n) didn't mind that.

The peace and quiet gave her the time to do all the chores her best friend distracted her from, like laundry, cleaning, and repairs. Her doofus was a sweetheart, captivating her attention with the slightest hint of affection - and these days, she was so in love with him that she'd do anything to get the tiniest scrap. But sometimes, she just needed to get on with her work.

But Thursdays? Thursdays sucked. Halfway into the week but still a day away from the weekend. Even the criminals didn't want to pilfer, pillage, and plunder on Thursdays because they could just wait for the city to come alive on Friday. It meant Ray was at home almost every night that day, and (y/n) finished all her tasks by Wednesday. She was efficient like that, but it left the would-be couple with nothing to do.

Thursday could go do one, but one day, the girl had the bright idea to designate it movie night, and thus, their tradition of watching a rom-com every week began.

Sane Poor Europeans was about a girl and a guy from the same world falling in love. It went against the typical grain of poor girl meets rich guy or the starring couple being worlds apart, and it was meant to be a box office hit. (y/n) was digging it, shipping Raquelle and Nigel all the way, even if Nigel's mother wanted them to break up. However, as engrossed as she was in the movie, something was bugging her. Or rather, someone.

"Raymond, what's gotten into you tonight?" She grumbled as he fidgeted for the fiftieth time since she pressed play on the DVD, and they'd only been going for thirty minutes.

They'd quickly assumed their natural movie-watching position once Ray had retrieved the popcorn from the auto-snacker; she laid on her back, head in his lap, with her legs stretching the length of the couch, so her doofus could play with her hair.

It was pure bliss, and often, she'd fall asleep to his soft touches, waking up in her bed in the morning without the foggiest idea of how she got there. Of course, Ray took her there, but she didn't want to think about it, thinking she'd melt into a puddle if she imagined him carrying her like a knight holding his princess.

But tonight, there wasn't much chance of her nodding off, not with how he kept shifting every few minutes, continuously moving his legs, wiggling his butt, or sighing so his whole body jerked. Every time he moved, he shook her head, breaking her out of the serene trance she'd fallen into as the movie rolled on.

"Sorry, just...trying to get comfy," Ray muttered, affectionately petting her head as he adjusted his position again, and it wasn't because he was uncomfortable. With her on the couch, laying in his lap, nuzzling into him with some relaxing entertainment on the screen, it was almost impossible to be unsatisfied, and he loved it. He was fine. Nothing the matter with him.

He treasured their time together, yet (y/n) knew something was wrong. She felt it in her tummy.

"Okay, doofus. Come on--" she groaned, lamentably rolling onto her belly to sit up. Ray almost whimpered at losing her body heat and silky hair that he loved playing with. He didn't want her to move, not for his troubles, and certainly not on the one night they got together in the week. They were always so busy, especially since that little disagreement with Schwoz led to (y/n) becoming his sole helper. If he could let her relax for one night, he would do whatever it took, no matter the burden on his mind.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Who says anything's wrong?" Ray asked defensively, avoiding her gaze as (y/n) shifted onto her butt by his side, legs tangled in a soft blanket. She snuggled close, their hips touching as she linked their arms, knowing he'd talk eventually, even if he didn't crack at first.

"I do, your best friend of seven years. That's who says something's wrong. I know you, Ray, so don't try to fool me," she said firmly, squeezing his bicep to comfort him. Plus, it was a great way to feel them up, knowing that come daybreak, he'd be off wining and dining some lucky girl, so she took her chances where she found them. Oh, how she hated seeing something worry her poor doofus...

"I could never fool you, (y/n/n). You're too smart," he teased her, booping her nose on the word clever, making her face heat up. He made it impossible not to fall in love with him, but she thought after seven years, she would've gotten over it by now. But no. Here she was, still head over heels for her best friend, dying to have her feelings requited, even for a day.

"Sure, doof," she gulped, trying to mask her real emotions because the world would almost certainly end if Ray knew how deep her feelings ran - her world, at least. She'd be kicked out of the Man Cave, and all her dreams and hopes would die, so it was better if he never found out--if they quickly moved on before she said something stupid.

"So, what's wrong?"

"It's dumb, really," Ray mumbled, looking down at his hands, making (y/n) grab and pull them into her lap, stroking her thumb over his palm tenderly. The man felt his heart lurch at the ticklish sensation, wondering what he did to deserve such a precious, pretty girl. He didn't know he could feel so much love for one person until he met her. Now he was falling more and more, thinking he'd never stop because she gave him something new to adore every day.

"I'll be the judge of that. Now, come on, don't leave me in suspense," the girl told him, looking at her best friend expectantly as he sighed and tilted his head back. If he stared at the ceiling and not into her all-seeing eyes, he wouldn't feel his heart shatter when her joy turned to disappointment and betrayal. He didn't want to upset her with such a touchy subject, knowing that despite the years that had passed, her wounds were still raw and healing, even if she claimed not to have nightmares.

But it had been on his mind for a while now, and his body was telling him it was time. Not an ear-splitting, loud shriek but a gentle reminder that no matter how much he hated it, he was getting older. His knees ached a little more than they used to, his knuckles were stiffer after missions than when he was younger, and he went to bed feeling tired each night. It wasn't personal; age caught up with everyone, even Captain Man.

"Well...you see...darlin'..." he stumbled, trying to find the right words, which was peculiar to see from a man who was usually so sure of himself. Something was wrong - he only used those pet names when he was treading on eggshells and looking to smooth her over--that's what she told herself. It was madness to think of herself as his darling.

"...I want a sidekick."

An eyebrow arched at him in response, and then...nothing. No crying, no curses, no fists thumping against his chest - (y/n) blinked as if he'd said nothing. A few minutes passed, or maybe an eternity and Ray was confident he'd broken his best friend. Why else would she stare at him like the soul had been sucked out of her?

Sidekicks were a touchy subject. Hardly discussed between them, and they talked about everything and nothing, so it was no surprise that she disconnected for a moment. After the hero's fated showdown with Drex, he'd given up on his search for someone to share in his glory, too scared to lose his pretty girl after the scars that bastard had left.

If he could go back in time, he'd gag himself before introducing them, wanting so desperately to protect her from falling into his net--to save a genuinely virtuous girl from the clutches of a monster. But he couldn't. The past was the past, and (y/n) was dealing with it. She put it behind her and, thank god, chose to stay with him, working as his helper. So, who was he to dredge up old memories and trauma for one of his fancies?

"A...sidekick?" She stammered, trying to wrap her head around the idea. Of course, she knew the world wasn't full of Drex's; that was years ago. He was her boyfriend for what? Six months? And he was hardly someone to write home about, too cold, distant, and cruel to introduce to her parents and old friends--saying that, he'd probably think her home town was pokey and insignificant, anyway.

On the other hand, Ray was the kind of guy she'd love to take home - in every sense. He was so lovely...kind, sweet, gentle, funny, playful, and silly--everything she wanted in a boyfriend. He understood her and didn't force her out of her comfort zone, but he brought her out of her shell, the one Drex pushed her into. He kept her safe all the years she'd lived with him, forging a powerful bond between them, so she couldn't imagine being hurt in the same way twice.

That was a hard lesson to learn, but she'd never let someone bully her again. Although, admittedly, the idea of a new face around the place made her nervous.

"Yeah...I mean, I know--I know it wasn't a roaring success last time," Ray replied nervously, barely meeting her eye as those dark days replayed in his mind. If anyone deserved to live in security and luxury, it was her, yet she stayed with him, the man who made her life worse at every turn.

"But it's been on my mind for ages now."

"Tell me," she told him gently, feeling the hair on the nape of her neck rise at the mere thought of another cold-hearted monster stalking the hallways again, but he was the boss. It was hardly up to her to make such a big decision, but she could see how conflicted he was, dithering on what to do, so she gave him a chance. If anyone would keep her safe, it was her doofus.

"I've just... every night I go out, I come back thinking I need help. Like, I can't do this alone anymore, and what am I gonna do when I'm too o--ol--ol--"

"Old?" (y/n) giggled, shaking her head at how he barely got the word past his lips. She didn't understand his fixation on his age, but that might've been because of their slight age difference. Maybe thirty-three is different to twenty-seven; she didn't know. All she knew was that he hated the idea--if only he told he it was because he was terrified of growing grey without her by his side.

"Yeah, that. One day, I just know I will wake up and wonder where all the time went, and I'll have no one to help me. I'll be all alone..." Ray said sadly, terrified of a future where his glory days had passed. He was an old man with no one to love, no one to care for him, and no legacy to leave behind because his younger self always said he do it later, tomorrow, maybe next week.

"You won't be alone, doofus. I..." (y/n) told him kindly, squeezing their conjoined hands as her lips parted to say, I'll always be with you. I'll always love you.

It was one of the silly things her heart wanted to say, but like always, her head cut it short like some survival instinct. As heartbreaking as the truth was, she had to face reality; he'd find a nice girl, they'd settle down, get married, have a few kids, and live happily ever after. Where did she fit in that equation?

"I just know you'll have a family by then. A lovely wife, some adorable kids, and plenty of grandkids. And they'll all want to hear about your amazing adventures as Captain Man," she said, trying to keep her tone light and airy as if the thought didn't rip out and stomp on her heart.

Ray laughed at her dramatic antics, comforted by the thought of her thinking he was worthy of those things - a whole bundle of people to love unconditionally. And yet it wasn't enough--it should've been because it sounded like a dream come true--but something wasn't right. He couldn't imagine a future without her. Yet, by the sound of things, she imagined him living a separate life, even though he couldn't imagine loving anyone but her.

"I'll have retired by then, darlin'. Someone will need to take over when I'm...y'know...o--ol--o--old."

"I understand, doofus," she smiled, shuffling closer to lay her head against his chest. The hero sighed as she snuggled into his arms, fitting so perfectly that it hurt to think of getting used to someone else. Honestly, a family wasn't all it was cracked up to be if she wasn't at its centre, but for now, he pushed those thoughts away and held her--to take whatever he could get before he had to let go.

"So, who do you want to be your new sidekick?" (y/n) asked, drawing random designs on his shirt with the tip of her finger as he tenderly rubbed her back with his huge hand. Perhaps someone new would be alright, but she couldn't guarantee she'd like them. Only someone very special...

"I don't know, no one in particular," Ray replied, having not thought that far ahead, but he had a rough idea.

"Someone young, though. A lot younger, like thirteen-fourteen, maybe? Like in the old superhero movies, there won't be that weird power dynamic like there was with Dr--like before."

"Okay...so, a kid? You're sure? Isn't that a little risky?" The woman questioned, nuzzling her nose against his neck to reach the inch of skin where his cologne was strongest. Even though it fogged her senses and drove her crazy, her mind still mulled over the idea of someone so inexperienced fighting crime. It was a dangerous job, and whilst she knew her doofus wanted someone to adore and idolise him, was it worth the peril?

"Perhaps...but they need to be fearless. Good-hearted. Loyal. Dependable. Resilient. Funny. Tough. And they need to have some skills...an instinct for fighting crime...and know how to put up with all my shit," Ray said dreamily as he pictured his ideal sidekick fighting by his sidekick. Someone innocent and youthful saving his butt just in the nick of time, learning everything he had to teach to one day take his mantle and carry on the Captain Man name.

"Sounds good, doof. But, y'know, this kid is gonna have to be pretty special. How are you gonna find them?" She replied, suddenly feeling reality dawn on her.

This was...happening? A new sidekick, someone to show the ropes, advise, and protect whenever they were in the Man Cave. She could do that.

"Put an ad online for me tomorrow?" The hero requested hopefully, knowing his clever girl was miles better at all that tech stuff than he was. She'd create the perfect advert and find him the perfect sidekick, thus completing everything he needed, even though leaving all the work to her was a bit cheeky.

"Ugh, fine. But just because I love you--and put up with you l-like any best friend would," (y/n) grumbled, only to feel her tummy turn when, in her cologne-induced haze, she let her tongue slip her greatest secret. It was a quick, if unconvincing save, her heart pounding in her ears as she prayed he didn't notice her stuttering or how her fingers clenched his shirt.

She was her own worst enemy, shoving herself into the friend-zone because of some ancient, faded line between them. It hurt like hell to call him her best friend, knowing she couldn't be more in love with him if she tried, but she coped by living in denial. She denied she felt anything; she rejected any prospect of hope and refused anyone telling her anything else.

"That's my girl," Ray chuckled, feeling like he was dying inside when she claimed to love him, but only like she'd love a brother or pet. Who was he kidding? She was his best friend too; it was weird how he felt for her, so he pushed it to the back of his mind as he reached to hit play on the movie again--to lose themselves in another fairytale love story amidst the feeling of friendship.

"And don't worry, (y/n/n), this one will be different. I've got a good feeling about this one, you'll see..."

Falling back into reality, the lovers held each other in their arms, laughing and sharing endless kisses as if they were making up for their lost time. Looking back on it now, they seemed so stupid, pining for each other so much when they just needed to say something. It was a cycle they'd reflected on many times before, and it never made sense. Neither did it ever get any easier, knowing they wasted nine years when they could've ended the suffering there and then.

Still, things folded how they did for a reason, and Ray and (y/n) didn't have it in themselves to complain. They took the long road, but finally, the man knew he wasn't destined to be the sad, lonely old man he'd feared in his youth because he had his sweet girl. And she was very much still the centre of his world - the one who gave him a family without even knowing it.

"I did end up finding the perfect sidekick," Ray mumbled against her lips, his hands tilting her jaw toward him so he could relish her honey-like taste. He could never thank her enough for posting that online ad because out of the dozen or so applicants they had, they found Henry Hart.

He was fearless. Good-hearted. Loyal. Dependable. Resilient. Funny. Tough. He had skills before any training, an instinct for fighting crime, and he put up with all the shit life in the Man Cave through at him. He took everything Ray taught him and became a courageous, seasoned fighter, willing to do anything to save Swellview. Even when he wanted to quit, he never backed down, and above all else, he was the reason Ray got to hold his wife in his arms every night. He did that, and the man could never thank him enough.

"The best, doofus. I'll only say this once, but you were right. Your good feeling played out," (y/n) smiled, lovingly stroking his cheek as he held her silk-clad hips. She'd all but been set to hate whoever her boss chose, terrified of being hurt again by any sidekick, but along came Henry, and...well, it was safe to say that kid stole her heart, or whatever Ray had left of it.

If Ray trained him to be brave, (y/n) taught him to be kind. Unconditionally, always. It was all well and good knowing how to fight, but knowing when not to fight was even harder, but the kid always found it easy with her. He could go to her with anything, and she'd sit him down, give him a cookie, and hear him out. She welcomed him into her home, and now, she couldn't imagine it without him, the boy who taught them how to love openly. Freely. Without fear.

"He's a good kid," he agreed, kissing her jaw and neck, worshipping the woman who made it all possible. Ray hadn't known what it was like to have a family, and now he had four kids, a wife, and a weird, fuzzy-headed friend under his roof. They all stayed because she did, not that (y/n) knew that.

"Even though he drives us insane, and he brought all his friends here, and his sister, and he eats all the nachos in the auto-snacker, and he makes me do his laundry whenever he sleeps over..."

"You wouldn't change him, though, would you?" The hero smirked, pulling away to look at her pouty expression as if Henry truly got under her skin with all his quirks. He'd lost count of how often she'd scolded him for leaving his shoes in the middle of the room for anyone to trip over, acting like a fool around his would-be girlfriends, or going along with Captain Man's stupid plans.

"Literally nothing, not a single hair on his precious head, ever," (y/n) replied, the words falling from her lips at lightning speed. How could she change Henry? Everything he did made up who he was; she loved all of it, having seen him grow up.

"He's my baby... They all are."

"I know, sweet girl. And they think the world of you," Ray grinned and pecked her forehead, aware that she didn't know how precious she was.

Given how many children seemed to end up in his Man Cave, he was thinking of fitting a turnstile instead of a door in Junk-N-Stuff. Still, his fiancée took it all in her stride, welcoming, nurturing, and caring for them individually until she loved them, and they loved her. But really, who wouldn't?

Standing in the middle of the room, her hands resting on his chest, (y/n) swore her cheeks were on fire, heated by his unusually reverent mood that night. Ray was touchy, handsy, and all loved up every day of the year, but he couldn't help but spill the truth in the soft glow of their bedroom. They'd gone too many years keeping secrets from each other. They promised never to do that again; besides, complimenting her was his second favourite thing to do.

"I'm surprised at that. Do you know how much we pissed them off before we started dating? Apparently, we were insufferable," she giggled, brushing her lips against his as she remembered all the years she waited. Looking back, she could understand why they felt like that; they were stupidly unbearable, especially when the kids dropped a hint after hint, but neither picked them up.

"Yeah, but look at us now, darlin'. I have you all to myself, and they complain that I kiss you too much. I can't win," Ray grumbled, forever grumpy that Henry nagged him about making a move on (y/n), to stop being a chicken, and ask her out, only to gag and mock them now that they seized every opportunity.

"True, doof. They have no one to blame but themselves," she whispered, raking her hands through his hair as she recalled the moment he confessed his love for her quietly and brokenly, terrified she'd throw it back in his face. But how could she? The moment had been engineered to force them to show their hands, and nothing had been the same since.

Henry, Charlotte, Piper, and Jasper could pretend to puke, roll their eyes, and make fun, but this was their fault. They'd still be blindly going in circles if it wasn't for their little nudges and schemes because they weren't good at relationships--surprisingly.

Loving was easy; knowing what to do after was a whole nother problem. Ray only knew how to start a relationship and watch it burn. (y/n) only knew how they ended - in tears and with the innocent party hurting more than those who did wrong.

In bringing them together, the kids caused a mini-crisis because when suddenly placed in heaven, having reached the end goal, finally where they were meant to be, the couple didn't know where to start next. What do you do when the love of your life says they feel the same way?

"I thought for sure we wouldn't last. You're too good to be true, and yet here we are..."

If this was a dream, then (y/n) never wanted to wake up.

It was like she was flying, falling faster than ever before, reaching new highs than she knew were possible, and it was all thanks to the man helping her out of the car. Like a true gentleman, Ray held the door open and offered his sweet girl his open palm whilst she slid off the leather seat, trying to be elegant and graceful in a dress that wouldn't usually take residence in her wardrobe.

But this was a special occasion. This was the night she'd been waiting for all her life, the one opportunity to achieve happiness and secure her dreams of living happily ever after with the guy she imagined marrying and growing old with. This was the legendary, infamous, much-anticipated first date.

No pressure, then.

She felt silly in her fancy clothes, knowing her foot just had to hit the ground funny, and she'd take a tumble in her ludicrous high heels. They were more like torture devices for those who hated having feet tight and wobbly, but they made her legs look longer, so that was all that mattered.

The idea was to look like a model. A really hot, glamorous model who could easily be the newest face of Swellview Cosmopolitan or the next Miss Swellview beauty pageant winner. She'd picked out her outfit according to that criteria; perfect hair and makeup, uncomfortable shoes, tiny dress, and her most expensive jewellery, all to look like someone she wasn't.

Was it possible to feel joy and terror together? Her tummy would undoubtedly agree.

Twenty-six hours earlier, she'd heard his confession, egged on by Henry, Charlotte, and whatever ideas they'd cooked together. They were the words she'd waited nine years to hear - "I love you, (y/n) (y/l/n)" - and part of her still couldn't believe it. Whatever she'd done or said to deserve such sweet words was beyond her, but it was like the first rainfall after a drought.

She and Ray spent hours together long after the kids and Schwoz had left, talking, laughing, and making up for lost time. They planned the date as soon as possible, eager to get to know each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, not best friends. The sooner they could burn that label, the better because that made sense. They loved each other, and being friends limited that to secrets, lies, and heartache.

Friends didn't feel the way they did, so they thought to hell with it. Perhaps jumping in without any forethought was unwise, but it felt right the night before when Ray called and used his heroic influence to book a table in one of the city's most exclusive restaurants. Five stars, celebrity guest list, very high class - visited by the elite circles of the Swellview socialites.

It was the best place to go, so why was she dreading it so much?

A sudden sinking sensation crept up on her as she contorted and twisted her body to fit into that damned dress, which didn't feel so tight when she tried it on in the shop with Charlotte and Piper. She'd been in a rush to find something - anything - but she swore it didn't hug her tummy and show off the squishiness of her arms in the changing room.

Back then, it looked good--she looked hot--now, though, she felt silly, like a little girl playing grown-ups in her mother's gown. And those shoes, what was she thinking? She'd only had them on for fifteen minutes and was losing feeling in her toes, not to mention how the pins holding her hair up were digging into her scalp. Her makeup didn't go how she wanted it to because who can actually do a smoky eye without looking like a panda?

In short, she was just an average girl trying to be more than what she could give, but it was worth it if it impressed Ray. She had his love, but was that enough? He only knew Man Cave (y/n), the girl he worked with in the safety of those walls, not who she was when the world was watching.

What if they discovered wanting and loving were two entirely different things? What if nine years led to breaking things off because they mistook friendship for something more? It didn't bear thinking about.

Clutching her clutch bag for dear life as she wobbled on her heels, she watched Ray shut the door before he held out his hand for her in what must've been a rehearsed move. No one could be that perfect, and she prayed to God that he didn't pick up on how clammy her hands were as they laced their fingers together and started walking.

"So...what's this place like? I've never been," (y/n) asked nervously, desperately searching to fill the awkward silence between them--well, she perceived it as uncomfortable, unable to stand the click-clop of her heels against the concrete and nothing else.

God, she was having a heart attack. Ray swanned up to the building like he owned the place, looking every bit the sophisticated gentleman in his crisp, tailored suit whilst she tripped after him like a child. Even the front door looked like something she wasn't worth looking at, all gilded and fancy with a swooping white canopy and red carpet stretching before the heavy gold doors. Was it a restaurant or a palace?

"L'endroit Chic? It's the best place money can buy. Anything for my best girl," Ray grinned, squeezing her hand as he led her toward the scarlet carpet, where a man was waiting to check their reservation at the other end.

He wanted to impress her badly, even if he had to take out a bank loan by the night's end. He'd waited nine years for this chance to take her out and show her he could love her the way she deserved--more than any other man. If he had one night and one night only to convince her to choose him over all the other idiots in the world, no price was too much and no restaurant too fancy. So, he donned his best suit, groomed his hair to perfection, and prayed he didn't mess it up.

He wasn't sure if he could live with himself if he ruined the night, so he was putting his best foot forward, the one with all the experience. He wasn't proud of how many girls he'd dated, but at least he'd been on enough dates to know how to treat a girl right. All they'd ever wanted was the best money could buy, so that's where he started.

"Really?" (y/n) smiled, feeling butterflies in her stomach when he called her such sweet names, knowing now that he meant them in a way she'd only ever imagined. His affection eased some of her nervousness, although she couldn't help but gulp again as they reached the door, where a man in a sharp uniform and white gloves opened it for her.

Being a dashing gentleman, Ray let her enter first before placing his hand on the small of her back while they waited for the maître d'hôtel to greet them.

"Of course, sweet girl. I want this to be the best date you've ever had," he told her, gently kissing her forehead when she leaned into his embrace.

A swathe of fine diners ogled them from their tables, looking down their noses at the couple who'd just walked in, and whilst she knew it was none of their business, (y/n) felt her nerves swimming above her butterflies.

It was bad enough having an audience scrutinising her every move, but knowing that her doofus placed such high hopes on the date made her lick the lipstick off her lips. She hated disappointing him, but now she couldn't remember the difference between crockery and cutlery, which fork to use first, and if she was supposed to wait for everyone else to start eating. White wine with red meat or fish? Red wine with meat? Champagne? She wasn't good at any of this...

"Ah, good evening. Welcome to L'endroit Chic. Do you have a reservation, sir?" A tall gentleman with steely eyes, a trimmed moustache, and a distinguished air about him said, smoothly walking over to a thick book with rows of names scribbled down in a cursive hand. He looked at them politely as Ray cleared his throat and offered an equally charming smile, obviously more adept at this charade than she was.

"Yes, we do. It will be under the name Raymond Manchester."

"Mr Manchester...yes, I have you here. If you and the lady would follow me," the host told them courteously, his pristine, pressed trousers rasping as he briskly showed them into the dining room.

Well, he called it a dining room, (y/n) would call it a ballroom, feeling slightly nauseous as she gazed at the intimidating crowd. Enormous French windows framed by chintz drapes allowed the evening sunset to flood the room in warm, golden light that highlighted the gold-plated everything. The perfectly sculpted and coffered ceiling had intricate and beautiful designs carved into the plaster surrounding one of those Renaissance-style paintings of religious figures and cherubs on the highest panel. It looked like they'd resurrected Michelangelo to paint it, making (y/n) wonder how much this dinner would cost.

Now she felt terrible for Ray, who guided her to their immaculate table, a work of art with candles, flowers, expensive china, and a million knives and forks. Were they expecting an octopus for dinner? Who needed four sets?

"Allow me, darlin'," he cooed, nobly pulling her chair out for her--and in front of all the toffs, no less.

A few ladies seemingly approved of his gallant gesture. However, others disproved his colloquial tone as if his g-dropping was uncouth, making the girl gulp for the millionth time as she tried to sit down with grace, only to feel like a moron when her heel slipped, and she ended up thumping down. So much for being the bell of the ball, but at least Ray didn't notice--or he had the kindness not to mention it.

"Your menus... Sebastian will be your waiter tonight. He will be over momentarily for your wine and entrée selection. Have a good evening, sir, madam," the suave man said once Ray had taken his seat, looking just like a movie-star spy as he unbuttoned his jacket and relaxed into his plush chair.

The couple gratefully received their menus before the maître d'hôtel wandered off to con more rich schmucks into his palace to empty their accounts. (y/n) felt her fingers shake against the weighty object, which was more like a novel than a menu in its thick leather and velvet cover, hiding its endless glossy pages of fine food.

"Wow, you know a place is fancy when even the menus are wearing smoking jackets," she joked, stroking the outer cover, which probably cost enough to feed two people in an ordinary restaurant. It earned her a few snotty looks, perhaps because no one understood her childlike innocence and ability to find in-the-moment joy except for Ray.

"I know, right? Do you know what you're having?" He asked, eyes sparkling as he chuckled at her humour and how she petted the menu. How did he get her to fall in love with him? What did he do to earn such a privilege? If she was flying, he was falling - more and more in love with her after each second, and he didn't want to stop. He just hoped she felt the same.

Since he'd been before, he already knew what he wanted to have, preferably whatever was cheapest to save his crying wallet. Still, he wanted her to pick freely and not worry about the cost because he could provide for her - whatever she wanted was hers. He'd be the best boyfriend she ever had and make this a night to remember--the first of many, he sincerely hoped.

"Uh..." (y/n) paused, tearing her gaze away from the fine figure he cut across the table to look at her options. And there were a few--about three dozen or so, and they were just starters, or so she thought. It would've been easier to guess if she could read the squiggles, but she realised her eyesight wasn't failing after a closer look.

The menu was in fucking French - all bouillabaisse this and concombre a la menthe that. She could say I am on vacation, and my mother is large--school-grade French, but this was another level, startling her with the terrifying notion that she'd have to pick something and pray she liked it. There weren't any pictures either, probably because every snob there understood what a moules marinières was, so it would have to be a guess.

"Well..." she stalled, raking her eyes over the only squiggles she understood - the numbers next to every word. Dear God, it was expensive; gougères--whatever they were--were priced at seventy dollars, so she quickly moved on to try and find the smallest number. Coq au vin seemed cheaper, moderately labelled as forty dollars, which was as good as she would get, so that was the magic number.

"No idea what it is, but I'll have the Coq thing. Seems good enough."

"What about your appetiser? And your soup choice? And there's a salad in between that. Don't worry, sweet girl, you can have whatever you want," Ray told her gently, watching as her smile fell slightly as he threw the information at her. A knot formed in his stomach, tugging on his heart, suddenly making him nervous too.

He wasn't as stupid as people said; coq au vin was the cheapest meal on the menu. He knew because he wanted it too, hoping to avoid an eye-watering bill at the end, but that didn't mean he wanted her to be lumbered with peasant food. She could go for the two-hundred-dollar steak if she liked, and he wouldn't mind, although now he doubted if he'd said the right thing.

She didn't look as happy as before...he could feel the dread set in.

"And pudding at the end? Jeez, I hope they do doggy bags," (y/n) retorted as she closed the menu and placed it on the table. She'd eat anything as long as she could have a relaxing, intimate dinner with her newfound lover, although now she doubted if she'd said the right thing.

He didn't seem as happy as before...she could feel the horror set in.

"Are sir and madam ready to order their wine?" The tense moment was interrupted as a boyish man came forward in a neatly ironed pinny and jacket - he must be Sebastian, (y/n) guessed. He handed Ray a list of wines, none of which the man understood. Still, he pretended to read it like a connoisseur, humming and nodding in appreciation.

(y/n) watched in slight awe of the man, wondering and dreading where he learned about fine dining to understand about testing the bouquet, acidity levels, and such. Either he'd done his research, or he'd done this before, and given his knowledge of the restaurant, she'd wager it was the latter. But with who?

Her heart ached at the thought of him bringing someone else to the same table, sharing a coq or gougére over a fine bottle of red. Whoever taught him such refined etiquette obviously wasn't good enough; otherwise, they wouldn't be there. Knowing that she was another in a long line of girlfriends tugged on her heartstrings, wondering if they were destined to split because of some hidden incompatibility and if some other girl would take her place.

The thought broke her heart. No one said friendship or years of knowing each other counted for more than the spark he felt when dating those girls, even if he said he did it to get over her.

All the woman could think about was whether she should leave now and save herself the pain of losing him through boredom or a terrible argument. At least she could say she got her wish - a moment where Ray Manchester loved her.

"We'll have the Pinot Noir. Thank you..."

"Good choice, sir. I won't be a moment," Sebastian crooned before scurrying off, leaving the lovers awkwardly facing each other, looking for something to say. It was strange; in all the years they'd known each other, they'd never struggled to think of a conversation.

"You know a lot about this place..." (y/n) forced out, twitching her face into a polite smile, which Ray instantly hated. He thought she was beautiful and loved that she was smiling, but he hated that smile, primarily when directed at him.

It wasn't genuine; more like what she'd use with a rude customer or challenging criminal, not him--her best friend--no, boyfriend. Suddenly, it felt like all eyes were on him as she put him on the spot, and he knew instantly that something was wrong; she wasn't enjoying herself.

Her happiness didn't reach her eyes, and it was like the room turned frigid, turning his blood to ice because he was screwing it up. Like his worst nightmare come to life, he had his chance and was blowing it, and worse still, he was putting the sweetest soul through torture.

"I, uh--I've been here a few times before..."

"Oh, with who?" Kill her now. It was like (y/n) wanted to dig her grave, questioning who he'd treated to dinner here and professed his love to in the candlelight. She was clearly upsetting him, asking stupid, nosy questions that made him stare at the tablecloth and not into her eyes like he couldn't bear to look at her. Was this it? Was she losing him just like she knew she would?

"Just..erm...some friends...like...um--oh, the wine's here!" Ray exclaimed, feeling his heart drum in his ears as he tried to find a gentle way to tell her he brought one or two dates here before. It ended badly both times, with the girls swearing to cut off his...if he ever went near them again, and all because they sensed he was in love with someone else.

It was an excellent save, and if he wasn't in very polite company, he would've hugged Sebastian within an inch of his life as he brought over the bottle of expensive red wine--eighty dollars of juiced grapes. Nice. But at least (y/n) dropped the subject, feeling increasingly like she'd find herself single by tomorrow morning with each passing second.

"Oh, goodie..." she muttered, thinking she couldn't have a decent conversation with him because if it wasn't the tension between them, it was the awkward interruptions.

Burgundy liquid sloshed into crystal glasses as the waiter poured for them, ignorant of the nosediving date and how its participants wished they were back home. Things were more straightforward in the Man Cave, where neither one had to put on such airs and graces because there was no one to impress. Maybe they weren't the power couple the kids thought they were...

"I'll give you a few more minutes to decide on your food, and I'll be back."

"Thank you..." they said simultaneously like robots, steadily growing increasingly disenchanted with the evening. Not with each other, no way; if only they could find the right words, they'd say whatever and do anything to patch things up, but it looked pretty bleak.

Neither could think of anything to say, not a funny joke or witty conversation to stimulate the other. Maybe it would be different once the food arrived, but as Ray picked up his glass and sniffed it - because that's what they did in the movies - (y/n) didn't feel so hopeful. She didn't see how he'd want to take her out again, and in all her worst nightmares, she'd never imagined the worst date of her life would be with the man of her dreams.

It wasn't supposed to be like this - she was supposed to be a good girlfriend. What would Henry and Charlotte say when they returned? Ray said they gave it his best shot, but he couldn't stay with her? Poor Schwoz would have a breakdown--years of his life wasted because she couldn't be happy with what he gave her. What a shit show.

"Huh...I thought it would be white..."

"You know Pinot Noir is a red wine, right, doofus? Because of the grapes they use to make it," the woman chuckled, scraping a shred of amusement from the conversation when her boyfriend stared into his glass and analysed the liquid, which was much different from what he'd been expecting. It came out of nowhere, and he sounded so silly... there was the Ray she fell in love with.

"Well, why didn't he say that? Surely, wine is wine--I don't know what to pick when they give me a list. Why can't we just have soda?" Ray grumbled, not caring if an arrogant businessman across the way from them gave him a bored, disproving look for saying such a thing. His sweet girl looked at him in shock, having thought that he knew what he was doing when choosing a bottle, but apparently, he was still the doofus she'd always known him to be.

"You just picked the first one off the menu, didn't you?"

"Well..." Ray laughed nervously, too bashful to admit that he'd chosen the cheapest on the list, mainly because all wine tasted the same to him, no matter the price. He'd instead treat her to a fancy dinner than something she only drank because it was expected. However, he wasn't complaining that they finally had something to discuss.

"Don't lie to me, Raymond..." (y/n) told him jokingly, acting sternly, but the man was relieved to see the sparkle return to her eyes. The couple relaxed for the first time all evening, even if it was only slightly. It was difficult to calm down when the elite of Swellview society scrutinised their every move, but at least she was smiling.

"Oh, trust me, I could never lie to you, pretty girl. Not anymore..." he replied gently, and the girl felt her heart flutter and cheeks warm. She'd never get used to hearing him say such things--and romantically mean them--and it made her shyly look at the table in front of her.

"Doofus..." she muttered, not knowing how endearing and adorable she looked as she squirmed cutely and reached for her wine. Red or white, it didn't matter to her as long as it took the edge off her nerves, which had returned with a new vengeance. Now, she was nervous under his gaze, wondering if all the love in his eyes was meant for her.

"Sweet girl, look at me..." Ray told her, wanting to see her pretty eyes, looking into his - hoping she'd realise all he felt for her. But there lay the problem.

(y/n)'s eyes snapped up to his, taking her eye off her tall wine glass as her shaking fingers reached for it. As always, the minute she stared into those crystal blue pools, she was lost, wondering how they could be so clear, bright, and beautiful--how he could be so perfect. Ray, too, was lost in a trance, drawn to his sweet girl, so he didn't notice her trembling fingertips until it was too late.

They touched the glass, shaking a little too hard to realise their strength as they pushed it over, sending a cascade of deep ruby washing over the crisp, white cloth. The wine trickled across the table, seeping into whatever its red rivers touched, including Ray's freshly laundered suit as it rushed over the edge.

"Oh, shitshitshitshit!" (y/n) gasped, instantly mortified by her absentminded blunder, but there was nothing she could do. It wasn't a drop or little leak but a vast goblet that had tipped over, meaning she could dab at it all she wanted; the wine wouldn't come out. Her cheeks had gone from slightly warm to a humiliated scorching hot, feeling every pair of eyes in the room on her, whispering about the lowly peasant girl with the manners of a farmyard animal.

She couldn't do one thing right, behaving like a child at the table, causing chaos. Ray was mildly shocked by the cool liquid that hit his thighs, jumping out of his seat as their table was ruined. She could see it in his eyes, even though she refused to meet them, wanting nothing more than to run, hide and cry in her bed for spoiling what should've been a perfect evening.

"R-Ray--I--I'm--Oh, God--I'm so--s-sorry," she said, trying to mop up the alcohol with a napkin, brushing it over his stained suit, only to realise she was making it worse since the cloth was also soaked. She couldn't make a bigger mess of it if she tried, feeling so distraught that she didn't see the sympathetic stare he gave her.

"(y/n), it's okay. It was an accident--"

"No! It's not okay!" She wailed, wanting a hole to open up and swallow her as the snooty diners around them began to mutter and gossip about the juicy scene in front of them - dinner and a show.

If she couldn't drink a simple glass of wine gracefully, what hope did she have of completing the night properly? She'd probably spill her dinner down her dress or order the wrong dessert, anything to embarrass her doofus further. And she couldn't bear that thought - the knowledge she wasn't what he wanted.

"I'm supposed to--I'm--I just--I--I can't do this!" she gasped, fighting to control her emotions and remain calm and dignified, but with so many eyes on her, including Ray's concerned azure gaze, she just couldn't do it.

She was a fleer, not a fighter, and her instinct told her feet to take her away from the situation before she embarrassed herself further. Ducking her head down, she turned and bolted toward the exit, tears falling down her cheeks as she left Ray helpless at the table.

He stared after her, feeling like his world was crashing around him as she barged past the startled maître d' and some posh couple waiting to be seated. Of all the dates he'd ever had, this one had to be the worst, breaking his heart since he'd never imagined a date like this with his sweet girl. What did she think of him now? She'd probably break up with him on the spot once they got home, and all his dreams would be over.

Still, he wasn't one to go down without a fight. He'd win her affection again, beg for her forgiveness, and convince her that he could be a good boyfriend if it was the last thing he ever did. Without another thought, Ray yanked the wallet from his pocket and pulled a few bills out, letting them flutter to the table without thinking about the price. A hundred dollars was nothing compared to the promise of a life of happiness, so he left the stained table for Sebastian to sort out, chasing his sweet girl into the parking lot.

Running out of the restaurant most undignifiedly, Ray jogged towards the car - the fanciest he owned as Captain Man. He saw her leaning against the passenger side, wiping free-flowing tears away, smearing her mascara. She made a heartbreaking sight, slowing his steps because he wanted to patch things up, but he hadn't exactly worked out how, although he knew he had to do something. His poor darling girl looked miserable, shaking like a leaf with blotchy, sticky cheeks and staring at her shoes.

"(y/n)?" The man called out, squeezing his fingers tightly to control his nerves as she looked up, like a deer in headlights with her bottom lip wobbling. Oh, sweet girl...

"I--I'm sorry. I-I've ruined everything, haven't I?" She sniffed, tearing up again when their eyes met, mistaking his concern for harshness. Any minute now, he'd say the word, and she'd find herself single again, homeless, and starting again because he wanted her out after the humiliation she'd caused.

Ray looked at her softly, wanting nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and comfort her, but he didn't want to startle her. Taking a gentler approach, he cautiously walked up to her until he was reasonably close--within touching distance, so his cologne tickled her nose, comforting her like a hug as it enveloped her. He wasn't good at being soft and sensitive, but for her...he hated how fragile she looked.

"Not at all..." he replied, his hands shaking and reaching for hers as he debated how to approach everything, "it's all my fault, anyway."

"How can you say that, you doofus?! I--I spilt the wine, and I didn't know what to order--and I don't know French! A--And I don't look good, and I feel s--stupid in these stupid clothes--and--and everyone in there thinks you're dating a--a moron!"

"I don't give a damn what other people think..." Ray growled, throwing caution to the wind and stepping forward to cup her cheeks. Tilting her jaw up so she looked him in the eye, he sighed, suddenly feeling idiotic for placing so much pressure on her, thinking his sweet girl would be impressed by fancy food and gilded decor.

Whilst the city adored Captain Man, Ray Manchester wasn't the most popular guy around, appearing quite dorky and withdrawn with his shitty junk store and few friends. He didn't gain much social standing but didn't care because he had everything he needed with her and their little family. He'd learnt to ignore their judgement, and he certainly wasn't going to listen to anyone who said (y/n) was no good for him.

"Maybe we aren't meant to, y'know... There are plenty of girls you could date instead of me," the girl wailed, clutching her chest from the pain of losing him, but at least he wouldn't have to sit at a soggy table again.

"Do you honestly think I want another girl?" Ray asked, stroking his thumbs over her cheekbones as he stepped into her space. He didn't care if she was clumsy, shy, plain, or unrefined; she was still the smartest, prettiest, kindest girl he'd ever met.

"I love you, sweet girl."

"But I made a mess..." she sniffled, puffing her cheeks sadly when she remembered the conceited giggles echoing around the room as she tried to dab up the wine. Surely, it was enough to warrant his anger. However, Ray just sighed and pulled her into his chest, finally wrapping his arms around her trembling body like he'd wanted to all night.

Who was he kidding? Neither of them was suited to a stiff-upper-lip atmosphere, and he'd never had to impress her to earn any love when he was suffering as her best friend. Maybe they still were; the best start for two lovers is a solid friendship, so who said they had to stop being friends?

"So? I made the wrong choice tonight, darlin'. I wanted to impress you so bad, so I chose this place. But I made you uncomfortable with all the pressure. I'm so sorry, sweet girl..."

"It's okay, doofus. I wanted to impress you too... Don't want you to think you've got a crap girlfriend," (y/n) sniffed, wiping her cheeks dry as she snuggled into his chest, clutching his jacket's lapels whilst he petted her hair.

"You kidding me? You're my best girl. I'd never think that. I just...didn't want you to think I'm a crap boyfriend," Ray replied with a watery smile, kissing her forehead as they laughed sadly. This happened when they tried too hard, pushing to fit into a narrative that wasn't theirs, just some scripted setting that dictated how traditional couples behave. They'd waited nine years to date - who said anything about tradition?

"We're both pretty dumb, huh?" The woman joked, looking at him innocently, feeling at ease as he showered her hairline in soft kisses, promising his love over and over, despite the evening's lively events. Nothing came as a bigger relief than knowing he wasn't mad and she hadn't lost him, almost threatening to bring more tears as she relished his touch.

"Nah... We just want to do this properly," he replied, keeping her close since his heart was also thumping from the fear of almost losing her, not that she was going anywhere now. Still, he loved feeling how small she was in his arms and how she pushed her arms under his jacket to loop around his lithe waist and pull him closer - his precious, pretty girl.

"So, how about I take you to that burger place off the freeway? The one with the curly fries you love so much..."

"Can we get ice cream after, too?" (y/n) asked, fluttering her eyelashes as if she had to beg. Little did she know, but she had Ray wrapped around her little finger, and if she wanted ice cream, he'd buy out the entire joint, anything to make his sweet girl happy. Going to a greasy, dirty fast food place in the fanciest clothes they owned seemed a little ridiculous. Still, honestly, they never noticed what others said when they were together.

Instead, it sounded like the best date imaginable to her, so when her doofus offered her his arm, she wasted no time slipping hers through his and leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"Course, darlin', but only if I get another kiss as payment..." Ray grinned, opening the door for her like any gentleman would as their feeling of love bloomed again.

"If I remember correctly, you got more than a kiss," (y/n) smirked as she rested on Ray's chest. A comfortable silence fell over them as they recalled the minor disaster that was their first date, bodies swaying gently to silent music.

The hero stroked her head and kissed the top of her head, quietly thankful that she'd been gracious enough to give him a second chance all those years ago.

He didn't know what he was thinking; they'd never needed to splash their cash to have a good time, which was proven when they bought the greasiest, tastiest burgers and ate them in a car full of laughter and love. He even bought her an ice cream cone, which (y/n) took great delight teasing him with when she licked the runny, sticky mess melting down her wrists in the warm summer air. Oh, how she loved to tease him...and Ray loved falling into her traps.

"You started it, sweet girl. I just put those pretty lips to better use," he remarked, sliding his hand down her silky back to her ass, grabbing and pulling at her flesh. She whined, thumping his chest for ruining the sweet moment with his typical horniness, but Ray just laughed and gave her butt a quick, soft spank.

"Doofus, I'm tired!"

"I can change your mind..." he gloated, nipping at her jaw and neck to get her into bed, but not how (y/n) planned to. His lips felt heavenly, moving against her pulse point with learned expertise, seducing her in seconds. But the second her eyelids fluttered closed, she realised how heavy they felt, begging to let her snuggle with her doofus, not roll around the sheets.

"Oh, yeah. Mr Silver Tongue over here..." she snorted, although her hand didn't move from the top of his head, keeping him firmly tucked into her neck, not that Ray minded. He could stay there all day, tasting her skin, making her whimper and hum in appreciation of his talents, but he couldn't ignore the banter. He had a reputation to uphold...

"Excuse me, darlin', but I can make you melt with this silver tongue."

"Uh-huh, sure..." the woman retorted, not knowing whether that was double-entendre as she scratched his scalp, and he pulled her hips closer.

Her breath hitched at the feeling of something pressed against her hip. Still, she remained focused, refusing to lose her mind to his wandering hands and stupidly skilful seduction techniques. Ray was good at getting what he wanted, and she was good at indulging him, yet she had a few tricks up her metaphorical sleeve - and a good memory.

"Have you forgotten my last birthday party? It was like sitting with Shakespeare..."

"That was Henry's fault, not mine... And Jasper's... And I think Schwoz was there too," Ray grumbled, lamenting and treasuring the night since he'd been surrounded by his family. His traitorous, scheming family betrayed and purged him of all his secrets when he was vulnerable, much to (y/n)'s amusement as she ended the night spoon-feeding him cake and kisses.

"Yeah, shocking how you willingly drank every beer bottle they pushed in front of you. You were paralytic by the time I got to you..."

"(y/n/n), don't be mad..."

"See, whenever you say that, I immediately get mad," the woman giggled as she peeked out from underneath a blindfold, which Piper had crudely tied around her head in a simple bow.

The woman wasn't actually mad. She couldn't be, not on a day like today. Her thirty-third birthday. The big three-three. And this was the best one yet, for the simple reason that everyone she loved, called family, and adored was celebrating it with her.

Ray, Schwoz, Piper, Charlotte, Jasper and Henry had thrown a little surprise party for her, saying the sweetest girl on the planet deserved a little R&R once the emergency calls stalled for a few hours. It wasn't a big affair, just a few streamers, some bunting and confetti, a made-to-order cake from the bakery down the street, a small buffet, a piñata, and some whacky party hats. Like a child's party with fun, laughter, and larking about, they played some music and relaxed for the first time in days.

After passing out the presents, including an expensive perfume set from Piper and Charlotte, a rom-com box set from Jasper, a book on engineering mathematics from Schwoz, a succulent houseplant collection from Henry, and a pair of simply exquisite diamond earrings from Ray, the night died down. The girls were near the elevator, where Schwoz had hung the piñata for them to take turns whacking and talking about girl things whilst the boys slumped on the sofa, talking about boy things.

They passed around the beers and sodas to the sounds of the girls' shrieking laughter and jokes about how Charlotte was just assaulting the air and not the cardboard donkey. Ray watched his sweet girl with soft eyes, thinking she'd never looked prettier in her cute party dress, and it gave his friends the perfect excuse to keep passing him drinks without him even counting them.

All Ray knew was that he'd really struck gold when he met (y/n), droning on and on about the things about her once he'd necked his fifth - or seventh? - beer.

"I mean, look at her!" He slurred as he clumsily pointed at his fiancée, who was thankfully busy beating a candy-filled donkey to death with a silk tie around her eyes, so she couldn't see the state she was in.

"I'm so in love with her..."

Jasper and Henry exchanged glances, laughing when their usually confident and controlled boss sighed and rested his head on Schwoz's shoulder, smushing his cheek against the perturbed genius almost lovingly. They clinked their bottles together victoriously, knowing (y/n) would nag their ears off if she caught them sipping their illicit drinks instead of soda. Still, Ray was so out of it that he didn't even notice. One beer each wouldn't hurt...and they wouldn't miss his unrestrained, loose-lipped performance for anything.

However, as funny as beer made Ray, they didn't expect it to make him so...leaky. Not in a gross way or anything, but as he swallowed another gobful, he began rambling again, choking up even when he was talking about nice things. Her hair, for example, was so soft that he cried at the thought of (y/n) going for a haircut—or how pretty her lipstick made her features look. What would he do once it rubbed off?

It was hilarious to watch, but a stab of panic rose in the boys when a scream of delight sounded across the room. Tearing their gaze away from Ray, Henry and Jasper gulped as they saw the woman standing proudly over a candy mountain with Piper and Charlotte cheering her on and swiping sweets. Thank God she was still blindfolded, but someone would have to tell her why her beloved doofus was poking Schwoz's cheek like it was the funniest thing in the world.

Seriously, Ray never got drunk, and he was a handful sober. So, swallowing his pride - and another sip of his swiped beer - he tiptoed over to the girls, hoping his boyish charm would win over his surrogate big sister when he tapped her on the shoulder.

"What have you done?" She asked suspiciously, shaking and patting her mussed hair down after pulling the blindfold over her head to look at the kid. He looked sheepish, standing there shuffling his feet and giggling nervously. She wasn't mad...yet.

"Who says I did anything?" He shot back, trying to be tough and cocksure, even though he'd come over to her amid her candied victory. (y/n) folded her arms and raised an eyebrow, giving him her dryest, most unimpressed stare possible as he dithered and debated divulging his slip-up.

"Henry Prudence Hart..."

"It was Jasper and Schwoz, too!" He caved. Henry hated it when she used his full name and even more when she looked at him like he'd disappointed her. It wasn't so bad if they took the fall together, although someone should've said that to his co-conspirators, who were merely victims of circumstance.

"Dude!"

"Ouch..." Schwoz whined, folding his arms grumpily as the sidekick dragged him into their problem when all he'd been doing was quietly sipping his Sex on The Beach cocktail and ignoring Ray and his drunkness. They were plying him with alcohol, swapping empty bottles for full ones and taking a few for themselves--like he didn't notice how giggly Jasper had grown, laughing at the slightest thing.

"Just tell me what you've done, Hen!" (y/n) exclaimed, wanting to know what they'd done that was so horrific that she couldn't fill her face with sugary snacks like Charlotte and Piper were doing. Nothing would be left soon, and she was anxious to swipe a piece of candy until Henry stepped aside, revealing the scene on the couch.

"What the..."

"Hey--sw--sweet girl! Pr-pr-preeetty girl!" Ray hiccuped when their eyes met, his face breaking into a drunken grin at seeing his perfect girl looking so lovely. She stared at him with fascination and horror, unable to remember the last time he got drunk, but even then, she vaguely remembered him being a handful. He looked stupid, swaying from side to side, humming and daydreaming about God knows what, making her wide eyes slide to Henry.

"What did you do?!"

"Um, well...Ray's drunk," Henry said simply, shoving his hands deep in his pockets as Charlotte and Piper stopped eating Sherbert to stare at their boss. Suddenly, the teens burst into laughter, howling as their snooty boss went to put his chin on his hand, only to miss and jerk forward to stop himself from hitting the table. He was a mess...but at least he was as in love as ever.

"No shit! I can see that. How much has he had to drink?" (y/n) questioned exasperatedly, massaging her temples in anticipation of the migraine she'd get taking care of her doofus in the morning. Had they ever seen a hungover Ray?

"One or two...packs," the kid muttered before scampering back to the table, ducking and weaving in case the woman chose to throw a chair at his head. He slumped onto the couch again, muttering to Jasper that they'd possibly made a mistake as the woman told her friends to eat whatever candy they wanted because she had to babysit her intoxicated doofus. Although she took a lollipop as her share of the kill.

"Sweet cheese...doofus, are you all right?" She called out as she moved to the couch, smiling sweetly at her lover as he looked up at her through bleary eyes.

It was like an angel descending from the heavens before him, showering him with divine light as she sat beside him and clutched his bicep. Ray babbled in response, pushing Schwoz away in favour of the beauty fluttering her eyelashes at him so sweetly. Who was the angelic creature, and what did she want with the likes of him?

"You--you're pretty. Ha--have I ever told y-you that?" Ray stammered, slurring his words as he clumsily brushed his fingers over her face, pulling at her cheeks and prodding her nose. If he could see straight, he'd scold himself for not saying it a thousand times, but the angel made him tongue-tied, especially when she giggled.

"You've mentioned it once or twice," (y/n) laughed, relaxing into his embrace as he stretched a muscled arm around her head to rest on the back of the couch. He looked ridiculously hot in his tight, short-sleeved shirt, so, coupled with his awkward flirting, it was no wonder she blushed - the greatest gift she could've given her doofus.

He laughed with her like a schoolgirl, childishly proud to have made her smile, and he was glad to know that she knew of her beauty. It was like he was connected to her, feeling an emotion between them that he couldn't explain whilst his synapses threw a salsa party in his brain, ignorant of the screaming facts and memories that this was his sweet girl, not an angel. Well, not a literal angel, anyway.

"Good...go-od. 'Cause it's true, y'know? You--you're very pretty. Lit-literally the prettiest pretty person that ever...that ever...prettied."

"And you're the doofiest doofus that ever doofed," (y/n) replied jokingly, putting her thumb over his bottle's mouth when he went to have another swig. Ray pouted at her actions, wanting more go-go juice, but (y/n) already feared how difficult it would be to get him in bed. Knowing her luck, he'd probably fall asleep on top of her, so it was best to start sobering him up now, even if it made him pouty.

Still, Ray didn't sulk for long. He was quickly distracted by her general prettiness, petting her hair like she was a dog. To his joy, his angel seemed to enjoy it, sighing contently and leaning into his cologne-coated torso.

"Wow, you really think so? I'm honoured..." he grinned as if he'd just won an award, and really, her stamp of approval was as coveted.

"Sure. You're my favourite doofus in the whole wide world. It's why I lo--"

"H-hey, are you...single?" (y/n) blinked in surprise when he interrupted, the question coming out of nowhere. It was so stupid, but entirely Ray's style, delivered with his typical brazenness and confidence as he stretched into the plush couch and smirked at her - a wobbly but convinced grin that she'd reciprocate the attraction he felt.

"What?" She gasped, needing a minute to let it sink in, her shocked, wide eyes and open mouth finding Henry and Jasper's as the boys laughed.

They sat back and watched the show, nursing their stolen beers as their boss chatted up his fiancée like she wasn't already his. Sure, (y/n) loved when he flirted, constantly firing back with her alluring wit, which led to electricity and choked gasps behind closed doors. However, she'd never expected him to get so drunk that he forgot everything between them confessing and getting engaged. And not like when he genuinely forgot everything; this was her Ray, but he couldn't work out his jumbled mind.

"Are y-you single? Y'know, pretty girly like you, a handsome guy like me--we--we'd make adorable babies," Rizzmaster Ray explained, poking her clavicle with his pudgy finger, which lacked any dexterity or finesse, so it made her ribs ache for a split second. However, she didn't notice it as he tickled under her chin whilst Henry and Jasper roared harder.

Talk about a smooth operator; where was this rizz when he was pining for her? Maybe they should've just gotten him drunk all those years ago, and perhaps he'd have asked her out quicker because he was shameless, waggling his eyebrows at her as (y/n) sat back with scorching cheeks. Babies? She was broody enough as it was...

"Um, well..." she stammered, trying to snap her brain back into action and think of a response. But after a few seconds, she realised the fun she could have with his flirtatious mood, believing they'd both laugh about it in the morning. So, she crossed one leg over the other and turned to her lover to properly face him and his soulful crystal blue eyes.

"I'm not, I'm afraid. As you can see, I'm happily engaged," (y/n) told him, elegantly producing her left hand for him to inspect, where the ring he'd picked still diligently sat on her finger. The effect was instantaneous; Ray's face fell in the light of the sparkling jewels, pure anguish crumpling his face as the news hit him. He was too late - his angel had been taken.

"To--to be married?!"

"Well, yeah..."

"Noooooo!" The hero wailed, throwing his head back like a petulant child as hot tears pooled in his eyes and streaked down his cheeks. Henry and Jasper coughed to hide their laughter but failed, earning a stern glare from (y/n) as she tried to soothe the hero to no avail. Ray sobbed as the boys cackled, knowing they would never let him forget how he cried like a baby.

His disappointment and heartache were indescribable, making him sob and blubber at the thought of the gorgeous girl holding his arm marrying someone else. Their babies would be hideous, and she deserved adorable babies...his babies. And worse still, he still wanted her, despite knowing she was a taken lady - his attraction and yearning were undeniable.

"Ray... Calm down, it's not that big of a deal," (y/n) chuckled, not expecting such a strong reaction as he thumped his clenched fists on the table.

His body shook from the sobbing, tears dripping off his nose when he suddenly lurched and grabbed her, pulling his sweet girl into his lap so he could keep her forever. Just for a bit of eternity so he could get his fill; the loser marrying her could wait for that, surely.

"Yes, it--is!" he hiccuped, stabilising her on his knee as she stroked his cheek - a tender touch for someone marrying another. And to his shame, Drunk Ray wanted more, his soul calling for her to love him, even if it was just for a second.

"W-what am I supposed to do n--now?! You--you're--it's not fair! I saw you first!"

"I'm sorry, but he asked me first," (y/n) told him gently, fitting into his embrace perfectly as he cradled her like it was for the last time. She smiled at him, pecked his cheek, and wiped away his tears, ignorant to how Charlotte and Piper had joined Henry and Jasper, laughing when they sneakily snapped a photo of the silly lovebirds.

"Do you love him?" Ray asked with a sniff, his tears slowing, but his eyes stayed sad and Eeyore-like. He'd accept it eventually, but knowing he'd tasted heaven and felt the angel's lips against his skin would leave a lasting mark. His longing was so bad that he knew he'd never love again...

"Yes, I do. Very much--more than anything," (y/n) replied, pushing a stray hair back into his neatly styled hair before dragging her knuckles down his clean-shaven cheeks. It was possible to put her love into words... there wasn't an adjective worthy enough in the dictionary.

Ray huffed, feeling bitterness and jealousy burning underneath the fuzzy haze that clouded his vision, but he couldn't do anything. Anyone who earned his crush's affection had to be remarkable, and he longed to meet them, even if it was only to stab them in the back while shaking their hand... They couldn't be that good.

"Who is he?"

"You really wanna know?" (y/n) teased him, booping his nose as she grinned. If thinking she was marrying someone else made him cry; she couldn't wait to see what he did when it was revealed he was the lucky man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

"Yeah, te--tell me, sweet girl," Ray nodded furiously, practically on the edge of his seat as she drifted her lips up to his ear, teasing his skin on the journey. It was like she knew what she was doing, silently driving him crazy as he tried to stamp down his lust for the spoken-for angel.

"Are you sure?"

"Y-yes! Tell me!" The hero slurred, jumping up and down in anticipation of finding out who the mystery man was. Then, all he'd need to do was pay his house a little visit, send him on a one-way trip, and maybe the pretty girl would like him then. He leaned in close, eyes fluttering closed as her warm breath rolled down his neck, lips pressed to his cheek and neck when he shuffled.

"Okay..." (y/n) giggled, squirming on his lap, making Ray clench her hips even tighter before she settled and stopped teasing him. It was time to put the man out of his misery, even though she found his drunken pouting adorable.

"I'm in love with...you!"

"Me?!" Ray gasped, clasping his hands over his mouth like a surprised child as (y/n) pulled back and laughed. His wide eyes were almost comical, but the ecstatic grin on his face melted her more than anything. Seeing how happy her love made him was endearing, leaving the man bouncing with happiness as he squeezed her tightly, never wanting to let the angel go again.

What did he do to deserve such an honour? She hugged him back with equal passion, petting his silky hair as he buried his nose in her neck, soaking up her intoxicating floral scent. His mind clouded over again, her shampoo mixing with his tipple to blur his mind even more, but all Ray could think about was that she loved him. Him. It was like a blessing...

"For real?! Me?!"

"Yeah, doofus. You. I'm in love with you," (y/n) nodded gently, sealing her promise with a soft kiss. Ray practically moaned into her mouth, moving against her with none of his usual finesse and skill since he was so out of it, and all she could taste was beer. Still, the heroine didn't care, enjoying his pillowy lips against hers as Ray crushed her into his chest, hating the idea of the most perfect kiss in the world ending.

"I'm in lo--love with you, too--sweeeeetie--sweet angel," he muttered as they broke apart for air, his clammy forehead resting against hers as (y/n) pecked his lips a few more times before retreating.

She laughed at his silly nicknames, lovingly stroking his face with the same affection she always had. However, she guessed it might be different in the morning. Still, she'd look after him, anything for her beloved doofus, who was contemplating congratulating himself for winning such a beautiful girl, taking her to bed, or staying on the couch to let her keep loving him.

Yeah, the last one sounded good...very good, and they could do bedtime things later.

"Marry me? Ma--ma--marry me, sweet g-girl? I promise I'll love you foreverrrrrrrr..."

"Of course, Raymond. I already said yes, didn't I?" (y/n) told him, pinching his cheek as she waggled her left hand before his eyes, highlighting the beautiful ring he'd given her.

A flicker of recognition passed through Ray's eyes, and he broke out into a bright grin as if he remembered getting down on one knee. He squeezed his girl again, squealing in delight at seeing heaven without entering it - he would experience it every day in married life with her.

"You guys are so gross. You know that, right?" Henry grumbled from across the table, making the couple snap out of their love haze to look at the boy...and everyone listening in.

To their shock, the boy, Jasper, Piper, Charlotte, and Schwoz were huddled together, smirking and snivelling at them with smug faces, and whilst Drunk Ray didn't care, kissing up his sweet girl's neck, (y/n) knew they'd been staring the whole time. She steeled herself for a moment, fighting the heat threatening to splash across her cheeks before turning to her fellow sidekick, possibly the smuggest of the lot.

She'd soon see about that.

"I'm not dumb, Henry. I could smell the beer on your breath the minute you tapped me on the shoulder. You know that, right?" She bit back, and suddenly, it wasn't her cheeks with the fire.

Henry's face turned bright red under the jeers of his friends. He and Jasper pushed their bottles away, knowing the woman would give them one of her famous glares if they drank anymore. As Ray hugged her close, (y/n) laughed with her friends, feeling like they were more like her family with each joke, story, and slice of cake they shared.

It was the best birthday she'd ever had.

The memory faded as a squeal ripped from (y/n)'s throat, her eyes crinkling and mouth opening in ecstasy as Ray trailed his lips down her neck, pressing kisses and blowing raspberries against her skin. He chuckled against her skin as she squirmed from the ticklish sensation, pretending to push him away, even though it was impossible with his iron grip on her waist.

She knew what he was doing, trying to distract her from a well-made point because he knew she was right. Accidentally allowing two teenagers to get him drunk and forgetting the love of his life was pretty tragic, and his headache the next day almost killed him. Still, he could try and seduce his way out of it...maybe.

"I was right, though. You are pretty," he flirted, rubbing his nose against hers since he knew it made her melt. But (y/n) wouldn't be beaten in her quest for sleep, and her point was right. Righter than his; he didn't get out of bed all day after that night, and she had to rub his back when he ate some leftover cake and spent the afternoon throwing up.

"So was I. You're the silliest, densest doofus I've ever met but the worst drunk I've ever had to put to bed," she giggled, chastely kissing his cheek as the man pouted. He had hands like an octopus, appearing out of nowhere, even when she pushed them off, gave him a glass of water, and tucked him in. And Drunk Ray was also Horny Ray turned up to ten, and he was already a nightmare when sober, as she realised when he returned to her throat.

"You're lucky I love you."

"I know. I'm the luckiest man in the universe," Ray cooed, squishing her butt like Play-Doh. Only he could be the most romantic man with his hands full, steadily backing her toward the bed with little micro-steps. The minute she hit the mattress, it'd be a lucky dip whether she threw caution to the wind and pulled him into her arms or if her eyes closed the second she felt the pillow under her head.

"And yet you won't get lucky tonight. I want to sleep, doof. We can play grown-ups in the morning."

"You mean sex, right?" He asked, looking comically serious as his hands returned to her hips--safe ground, despite his initial interest. But he wasn't so full of himself that he couldn't take no for an answer, knowing that he could happily snuggle up with his sweet girl and wait for her to be wide awake in the morning - when she'd feel and receive everything clearly.

"What else would I mean, you doofus?"

"I don't know, you said play grown-ups. Y'know, taxes, the nine-to-five, mortgage repayments. All exciting stuff..." Ray joked, waggling his eyebrows as if a boring, adult life was as entertaining as his plan for the night, even though he could barely adult to save his life.

(y/n) rolled her eyes and slapped his pec, although she failed to hide her bemused grin. He was so silly, she couldn't help but laugh but busied herself by turning and walking to her side of the bed. Ray silently congratulated himself for getting a smile out of her before copying her movements, sliding the watch off his wrist and dumping it on his bedside table next to his favourite photo of her - the one he looked at every night before going to sleep.

Meanwhile, (y/n) plugged their phones in to charge, knowing her doofus always forgot if she didn't do it for him, then moved on to slide off her engagement ring. Her lover watched with a slight pout, wishing she didn't have to take it off, but the woman insisted, wanting it to stay perfect and undamaged, so into her ring dish, it went.

"Come on, darlin'. The sooner we sleep, the sooner we can play grown-ups," Ray sighed, crawling into bed after pulling the comforter back. He flopped onto the mattress, lying on his back as he waited for her to get into bed because lord knows he wouldn't drift off until they were locked in the sweetheart's cradle.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming," (y/n) replied, hurriedly changing their alarm to one hour earlier--accommodating their new plans. He wouldn't let her forget that; every couple had a cute little nickname for it, and Ray knew he'd found his - playing grown-ups. The woman followed him, happily sliding beside him after shutting off her phone, shuffling as close as possible until her leg slung over his hips.

"You're so needy, doofus. Like a puppy..."

"Am not," Ray argued as he embraced her, encouraging her to snuggle down and rest her head on his chest. Maybe he liked to follow her around, taste her skin, fetch whatever she wanted, whine when she disappeared, and bark at anyone who came too close - all with a Labrador-like energy - but he wasn't needy. Or puppy-like. At least not out loud.

"Are too."

"Am not!" They bickered, poking each other like children trying to outsmart the other. Ray hated admitting he couldn't be without her because it sounded so pathetic, like all the guys he used to mock for being love-addled morons. Was he dog-like?

Still, despite how much it irked him, he wouldn't push her away for anything; instead, he only squeezed her tighter - a small warning for her to sleep before he implemented some teasing tomorrow morning.

"Oh, yes, you are, Raymond. Remember when I went to that family reunion a few months ago?" (y/n) chuckled. However, her voice was rougher as a wave of tiredness washed over her, forcing her to fight sleep because she wanted to win. His warmth always made her sleepy, and how his hand stroked her back didn't help, exploring her soft slip and shoulder blades, coaxing her into nodding off.

"I came back, and you were a mess..."

"I lasted for four days. That's impressive. Y'know, given how grown-up we are," The hero replied, kissing her forehead as he remembered the utter agony of going to bed without her each night. He'd gotten so used to holding her his arms had felt empty, and then he had no one to talk to except for children and a bald weirdo. And, he had to...entertain himself, and even then, he couldn't bring himself to go solo.

Okay, maybe he was needy. But who could blame him when the centre of his universe, the light of his life, the one person he needed to live, left him for a week?

"Yeah, and all the time I was gone, you refused to tell me you were struggling, silly doofus," (y/n) whispered, tracing her fingernail on his chest, making Ray shudder. Silence settled between them for a few seconds, the man not knowing what to say because, annoyingly, she was right. Like always.

"I would've come home straight away if I knew you were missing me the way I was missing you..."

Beep...Beep...Beep.

"Hey, doofus..." Ray sighed in relief when a teasing, chirpy voice came through his phone's speaker. Call him desperate, but when he was left hanging for nine, faint beeps, panic and uncertainty bubbled in his tummy.

This was the highlight of his day. He woke in the morning, heart aching and body weak, wandered the Man Cave aimlessly, struggled through the day, barely ate, and waited restlessly until about ten when his beloved fiancée tended to call. Without fail, she phoned on the dot, always the first because he wanted her to come to him, save he interrupted something important.

It was his fault she never saw her family. He demanded that she stuck to him like glue all year, infinitely needing her by his side as both Miss Danger and her lovely, perfect self. Perhaps it made him selfish, but (y/n), as sweet as ever, never complained about her lack of vacation days, so he never pushed the subject. Until she received the email he dreaded every year...

Family reunion...hometown...a week...bring that young man of yours.

He would've loved to go--would've used the Man-Copter to fly them there or booked the fanciest private jet if that was what it would take. But Captain Man doesn't take breaks. Maybe he could leave if it was just him, but there was no way Henry could cope by himself, fighting criminals and fixing problems without a partner. It would be irresponsible to let him get pulverised.

Ray grinned and gritted his teeth as he cheerfully escorted his girl into her taxi, growling at the terrified guy behind the wheel to get her to the airport safely...or else.

The first day wasn't bad. He could keep himself busy with all the jobs he'd been putting off for ages.

The second also wasn't horrible. He could throw himself into his work, punching his feelings out on whichever criminal was unfortunate enough to cross his path.

When the third day came around, he was a mess. Ray got out of bed feeling low, like his surplus, honey-fuelled energy had depleted, and he was now running on empty. Suddenly, the waffles Schwoz kindly made for breakfast didn't seem so appetising, and fighting crime didn't have the same adrenaline...because he looked to his right, and his sweet girl wasn't there.

That led to where he was now, slumped on their bed with a nest of pillows and a twisted duvet curled around him from where he'd wrestled to get comfy and failed. After living with her for so long, he'd grown too used to having a precious girl asleep on his chest; nothing felt right. The blankets made him too warm, so he threw them off. But then, he was cold.

So, he donned his shitty robe and laid there, PearPhone tucked into his neck for when she called. And waited, and waited, and waited, nose sniffing the pillow he spritzed with her perfume after it began to lose her scent. Maybe she wouldn't call tonight...but he really hoped she would. Hearing her voice was the one thing telling him to keep pushing until the day they reunited.

"Hey, sweet girl," he rasped, his world exploding in colour and emotion when he finally heard her voice. It was almost impossible to calm his excitement. Still, the hero replied with his usual rumbling baritone, albeit with a Captain Man edge - otherwise, he'd scream at her.

"Whatcha doing?" (y/n) asked, not caring if he'd done the most mundane things like trouser shopping or golf. After a day of putting up with her nosy aunts, tormenting cousins, and other insufferable relations, she desperately wanted to hear his voice, not that she'd let him know that.

Back before they dated, it wasn't so bad. Ray was just Ray - Best Friend Ray - and no matter how much they teased her, no one could make her miss the brown-haired, dreamy-eyed man she thought about at dinner. Then they got together, and she realised parting wasn't sweet sorry. Absence caused her heart to grow lonelier, not fonder, but her twisted, nagging gut worried that he'd laugh if she said I miss you.

What was four days apart? Practically nothing, and they spent every hour of every day together for the rest of the year anyway. Ray was undoubtedly fine and dandy, rolling with life as usual with a few passing thoughts about her in the evening when she was most lonesome. A simple phone was the highlight of her day, more than any celebration or big party.

"Nothing much. Just scrolling through some TV channels... You?"

"Yeah, same," she replied lamely, not knowing what to say. Most of their conversations came from their surroundings, what they'd experienced together, or physical cues. She could neither touch nor see him, so she became dull, scrambling for something more interesting than her cousin's new Merc or the restaurant they went to.

Yeah was a good word. She used it a lot, agreeing with whatever he said - if it made him talk more to soothe her soul.

"How's your day been?" Ray asked, smacking his forehead for saying something so...dumb. That was the third night he'd repeated that question on the trot, and whilst (y/n) didn't notice a thing, jumping into her activities after breakfast, he loathed himself. Was there any wonder she was a whole five minutes late tonight?

"Well--"

"Oh, I know that well," he chuckled, hearing the mildly pissed-off note in her voice and the small breath intake that indicated a mini-rant could grumble all day if she wanted; Ray would hang on to every word like it was gospel.

"There was an argument at lunch about whether the napkins were cream or yellow."

"Which did you pick?" He asked coyly, laughter and happiness feeling like old friends as they flooded his body. She didn't know how much he missed her.

"Neither. They're napkins, so who cares? Anyway, then we had a barbecue later on--I swear, I'm gonna be a hundred pounds heavier when I come back," (y/n) joked, enjoying her family recipes and all the eating out. Still, she had a super-suit to fit in, unbeknownst to everyone else stuffing their faces.

She didn't mean to be such a downer. If Ray had been with her, maybe she would've picked a side during the napkin war and not thrown one in someone's face, shouting if they could see the correct shade. Either way, she wouldn't have faced any embarrassing questions about her private life, like if she was so lovesick, where was her Romeo?

"You'll still be beautiful," Ray flirted, feeling his usual rizz creeping back in as his anxiety dipped for the first time in hours. He'd missed his silver tongue and happily complimented her after hearing a little self-deprecation in her voice. He wouldn't have that, not when she was perfect - more to love.

"Hush, silly doofus," she gently scolded him, but despite being thousands of miles away, (y/n) knew he'd hear her bashfulness and picture her flaming cheeks.

"Then, my Uncle Dickhead turned up with his new piece--Candy or something. Box-bleached hair, eyelashes like spider legs, red lipstick, mini-skirt, y'know, shouting about how he's still in the family after the divorce. And then, there was a fight. Like there always is."

"Who won?" Ray asked, scratching his neck, where his growing stubble itched his skin. After refusing a shower that morning...and yesterday morning...and the night she left, he felt sticky and dirty, but he didn't care how much Schwoz complained. He wasn't washing his face because it would remove the final traces of her goodbye kisses.

"Take a wild guess. One balding, cranky man amid a midlife crisis versus a small army of over-protective, borderline insane old women rallying around their youngest sister. You do the math, doof," (y/n) said, raking an eye of her nails as she pulled the old-fashioned rotary phone onto her bed, wrapping a finger in the curly cord as she spoke.

The scene made her feel like a film star, lying on her tummy in her childhood room, wearing a satin dressing gown over one of his pilfered t-shirts are pyjamas. She wouldn't admit it, but she'd discreetly squirted his cologne on it, wanting to be wrapped in his scent every night like usual.

Charlotte had told her to use Face Call thingy, video chatting so they could see each other. Still, the couple were antiquated in romance, preferring the old ways like in her beloved rom-coms. She'd be on the first flight home if she saw his tanned, toned, muscular body.

"You know I'm no good at math, darlin'. I much prefer to watch you do it," the hero replied smarmily, imagining how sexy she was with her concentrating face and swirling pencil.

"What about you? Been busy?" (y/n) smiled, shaking her head before he tainted the pristine conversation with his smuttiness. Strangely, nothing new happened in her absence. Still, she liked to hear how everyone was doing, missing Schwoz's antics and her dear babies nearly as much as her doofus.

"Not really."

"No missions?"

"Not really."

"Any fights?"

"Not really." It was like listening to a stuck record, her interest waning the more he put her off. Ray didn't mean to kill the conversation with his dreariness, hearing her pause for a few seconds with nothing to say. Still, honestly, there'd been nothing interesting enough to tell her. Not compared to what she'd been doing.

He bit his lip, feeling stupid and useless at how they'd been comfortable, only for him to ruin it. He raked a hand over his tired, unwashed face, cringing at the feel of his greasy skin and rough stubble. The lack of sleep was catching up on him, but he wouldn't say goodbye early - he hated hanging up at all.

"Ray, is everything all right?" (y/n) asked quietly, nervously tangling the phone cord in her fingers as his minimal responses increased, blocking her from finding out what was happening at home. Henry and Charlotte's texts made everything seem cheery and rose-tinted, but now she wasn't sure. Surely, it couldn't be that boring, could it?

"'Course. Why wouldn't it be?" He replied vaguely, snapping into a more focused mood since she could smell a rat. His girl was clever and too kind for her own good, so it was no wonder she sensed something was wrong. However, he still didn't want her to worry about him, not when she was supposed to be having a break...from him--his world--his problems.

"I'll be home in a few days. I miss you, doofus..." the girl told him, feeling small and vulnerable at the thought of being so far away from her soulmate. It didn't convey her true heartache, yearning to go home to him where she could eat junk food without unsolicited comments and sleep in her own bed. She didn't want to look needy, but she missed him. Really missed him. More than she'd ever missed anything in her life.

"Yeah, me too, sweet girl," Ray smiled, trying to remain calm and relaxed, but it was almost impossible not to cry as he lay in a room filled with memories of her.

Why were they doing this? He longed for her, and she missed him, so why couldn't he just say it? All it would take was a simple request, asking her to come home before he went insane, but he wouldn't do that. It would be selfish, and she was right... A few days wouldn't kill him, not when she fed him scraps like this every night.

"I want kisses when I get back."

"Believe me, darlin'. You don't have to ask," the hero swore, his gut clenching when he imagined sweeping her up in his arms and kissing her senseless. She wouldn't leave his bed for days when she stepped over the threshold, but there were many days between now and then, and he couldn't afford to get his hopes up...or anything up in general.

"Are you sure you're all right?" (y/n) reiterated, feeling a nagging sense in her tummy--like something was wrong. And the worst bit was she wasn't home to soothe her doofus or see him in the flesh to work out what she could do. That would involve going home, and the potpie competition hadn't even been held.

"Fine..." Ray replied, unknowingly settling into their bed like she did in her childhood room. The soft blankets did little to comfort them, but all the woman could do was take his word and remember to grill him under duress when she returned. His lips loosened when he was underneath her, bare skin pressed together, but that would have to wait as the warmth and safety of her infancy lulled her to rest.

"Are you tired?" He questioned when she yawned, failing to smother the urge by slapping her hand over the receiver.

"No..." She lied, knowing he refused to keep her talking all night about random crap when her baby nieces, nephews and younger cousins would burst into her room at dawn. It was her fault for calling later than usual, but she wanted a few more minutes - anything to hear his voice a little longer.

But Ray could see through her and hear her yawn, and he wouldn't take no for an answer. His sweet girl needed her beauty sleep, and whilst he'd love to listen to her talk all night, that wouldn't be fair to her. Maybe he'd text in the morning and then mope around until the next call. After all, she had at least another three days in her hometown; he couldn't get excited yet.

"It's late where you are. I'll let you get some sleep."

"But I don't want to say goodnight yet," (y/n) whined, earning a chuckle from her lover, imagining how she'd squirm and cuddle into him if she was next to him. She was good at getting what she wanted, and Ray could never refuse her, not when she insisted on five more minutes, one more kiss...one more round. But, as proven by his heartbreak, she wasn't next to him, tempting him into staying awake all night, so the doofus put his foot down for once.

"Sweet girl, if I don't hear you say it, we'll never hang up," he told her, an edge of finality in his voice, despite how soft it was. They had to do this; otherwise, they'd spend all night clinging to their phones, and he wanted her to enjoy the last days of her vacation. And yet his selfish part couldn't help but have one small request - he needed it.

"Promise to call me tomorrow?"

"Yeah..." It was such a nice word. Not too much to reveal her loneliness or how her plans were rapidly changing, but just enough to give Ray hope. And without his sweet girl, he needed as much of that as he could, knowing he lost his feeling of home when she wasn't there.

"Goodnight, darlin'. See you tomorrow..."

"We're so silly, doofus..." (y/n) muttered sleepily, dozing on his chest as Ray hugged her closer, almost terrified of going another four days without his sweet girl.

Maybe he gave her one hell of a welcome home, but never again. He'd go with her next time and sleep on a couch or a spare inch of the floor if it meant he could make it to her family reunion and spare the heartache. But that wouldn't be a worry for a while yet.

He had her now, sleeping in his arms and not in a cold, cramped box room. She sighed contently as she curled her leg around his waist, pressing every inch of her body against his like she felt the same way, which seemed impossible to Ray. Why would anyone miss him as he did for her?

"I missed you, sweet girl. But I wanted you to have a good time..."

"Had a better time when I got back..." She smirked, feeling a cheeky satisfaction amongst the crippling need to sleep. He was so warm and safe...smelt so good...arms around her body...chin scratching the top of her head. So cosy... It should've been illegal to feel this good, but in Ray's embrace, that wasn't surprising.

"We can reenact it in the morning, darlin'," Ray chuckled lazily, rubbing her back and upper butt to lull her to sleep. Tired (y/n) was childlike and adorable, her soft, warm body pulling her with him as she became limp and incoherent.

"Can't wait..." That was the last thing she remembered her doofus saying before she fell asleep like she did every other night for the last God knows how many years. Ray always stayed awake a few minutes longer, glancing around the room as if ensuring the place was safe. Call him paranoid, but he had his whole world in his arms, and he'd rain hell on whatever chose to disturb her dreams.

Reaching over, he turned off his lamp, plunging the room into darkness before he pulled the blankets over her body. If this was heaven, he didn't want anything to change, thinking his life was pretty perfect the way it was, mishaps and all. No, his life could stay precisely the same, thank you very much; same friends, same job, same precious girl, and the feeling of fate looming over them.

"Sleep, sweet girl... Just wait to see what tomorrow brings..."

But nothing stays the same forever, so said the lonely, glinting ring on her bedside table.

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booksandwords · 7 months

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People From My Neighbourhood by Hiromi Kawakami. Translated by Ted Goossen

Read time: 1 Day Rating: 5/5 Stars

The Quote: "Of course there's music," Kanae's sister said cooly. "That's why they call it the Music House." "But what kind of music?" "It depends. Everyone hears different music. The music that rules their destiny. It's no joke — music really does determine your destiny you know." — Kanae's sister and The Narrator (The Elf)

Warnings: Bullying, animal abuse, abandonment (it's debatable)

Let's start by saying this is a perfect book for someone who commutes on public transport. The chapters are only three pages long and they are engaging but simple enough that if you read early in the morning or later in the afternoon it is followable. The stories appear to be written from primarily one perspective, an unnamed narrator, or at least that is how I perceive it. I do refer to the narrator using she/her pronouns even though we are never given a gender, I draw the gender from the author's gender alone. I think that in Japanese the gender would likely be infered by the language used, that doesn't translate to English.

Have some comments on some of the stories

I read Chicken Hell and had a moment. M*A*S*H fans will get the same reaction.

"Deep-fried buns are yummy." — It was with this line that I realised that the narrator doesn't know the impact the she has on others. (p.10, The Office)

The School Principal is entirely unexpected to me. It was the first time I picked up that time is kinda fluid. At least I think it is. I do not like Kanae. I'm not certain we're supposed to. She may have been the narrator's best friend but she was also a bully. (The Juvenile Delinquent)

Hachirō made me laugh even while the idea of The Hachirō Lottery makes me kinda sad, especially the neighbourhoods reaction to it,

The ongoing stories about Kanae's sister (starting in The Six-Person Flats) are fascinating. She is a lot of things, none of them normal. All of them, a little eerie but more accepted in Japanese culture than western. The interpretation of faith is different. She has some perhaps disturbing come bizarre moments, see The White Dove.

The Rivals feels like an allegory I don't understand. Yōko One and Two are representative of a message but what?

The English translation of the song the narrator hears in the Music House (The Elf) makes Saigō Teruhiko's Hoshino Flamenco/ 星のフラメンコ very difficult to find. It's rarely if ever called flamenco of the stars when performed by him.

The Buriers is an interesting concept. Asking the reader to decide what is a raw thing?

Uncle Red Shoes is a great inclusion. I will say it makes more sense once you see this. (Kawakami uses a technical term. Banana)

What a fantastic literal interpretation of Lord of the Flies.

🤨 is my only real reaction to Bass Fishing. Aside from WTF? I feel like we just jumped the shark.

Pigeonitis... I do like the side effects of it and Kiyoshi Akai's bitterness.

A Sport's Day without any physical activity is a unique proposition. But a good one. (I present to you chess)

"Her life is perfect" "Yeah. She even married a prince." "And made a pile of money." "And walked all over men, but they still followed her everywhere." "But isn't a princess supposed to be no bigger than your thumb?" "They say it's cos she got as big as a regular human being after her wedding that she and the prince broke up." "No way," Kanae's big sister put in. "You mustn't believe in fairy tales," — This is the narrator and Kanae talking about The Princess. I love this interpretation of what a princess is supposed to be. (p.73, Fruit)

Damn Dolly... Did not see that coming *insert any good for her gif here* (Fruit)

No discussing Eye Medicine because spoilers.

Baby is a lot to take in and I'm not certain I understand it. There is something there I know I am missing.

Sōkichi Nashida's story is sad. One of success, yet a feeling of emptiness leading to an ultimate feeling of unfulfilment. It is just really well written. One of the few that doesn't use the main narrator's point of view. (The Family Trade)

It was thanks to Kanae's big sister that we learned the shacks were actually 'emotion rooms'. She had put the question directly to her class teacher, and he had explained that, of the four shacks, the pale red one was 'the sadness shack', the pale green one was 'the anger shack', the white one was 'the hate shack', and the yellow one was the 'shack of joy'." — Briefly the shacks expand when someone who enters them is experiencing purely that emotion. I appreciate the colour alignments. Aside from yellow, they all feel different from the norm. I also just like the idea of them. They're cool. (p.114, The Shack)

The woman who runs the Love is the focus of two stories The Love and The Empress, the final story. I like her. She is an unexpectedly confident and self-assured woman. Her actions lead to unexpected but wonderful final lines.

I do recommend this to people. There may be something lost in the translation but not enough for it to be off-putting. There is a whimsical element to it that was unexpected coming in and as it goes on it gets more so. Everyone is connected and the characters thread through regardless of what is going on in the wider neighbourhood. Both The Secret and The Empress (the first and last stories respectively) are strong. They are kind of the two ends of the scale, as strange as The Secret may be (though I did enjoy it) it has nothing on The Empress. It is a little different for me, I have started looking for other books by Hiromi Kawakami, I like her style.

#hiromi kawakami #ted goossen #translated books #short stories #people from my neighbourhood #book review #ktreviews #read 2022 #booklr #tw bullying #tw animal abuse #tw abandonment

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elliebean714 · 2 years

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Calvin Weir-Fields x GN! Shy!Reader Headcanons

C/W- Manipulation, Gaslighting, Calvin

A/N~ this is bad cus it's my first headcanons also cus it's 4 am and I'm ☆incredibly☆ sleep deprived. I love this manipulative lil millennial writer boy with all my undead heart. This is low-key self-insert cus ☆I need to feel loved☆ and I'm attracted to ☆the worst of the worst☆ also, head empty, only this gif~

He's literally perfect, anyway...

His DREAM relationship.

Seriously he'd LOVE this

Somebody quiet and easily manipulated?

Somebody who'll sit still and look pretty?

Somebody that'll do whatever he tells them when he tells them to?

Where does he sign?

He loves that he's the only person you hang out with (whether by choice orrrrrrr...)

That way he knows that he's your only contact

And he's the only person he trusts with you

You'd be all clingy and snuggly with him

Hide behind and beside him in public so he can protect you

He's gonna act all smug knowing the prettiest person in the world is completely dependent on him

If you don't like talking to servers at restaurants he'll tell them your order.

Which slowly turns to him ordering you a small salad and a water 💀

Like bitch-

Honestly I think he'd be even more manipulative and gaslight-y

Tell you what to wear, what to do, where to go, who to spend time with

Just bad dude stuff

And if you ever expressed a want for space or alone time or tried to call him out on his bs...

Oh the ☆gaslighting☆ you'll receive!

"You're just being dramatic."

"You're so sensitive."

"You're overreacting!"

"You're acting crazy right now."

"It's not important."

"You know I love you."

"You can't live without me"

"You're hurting me."

"Don't play victim here."

"You shouldn't hang out with them."

This man can't stop being shitty

On to the fluffy-ish stuff

He's a romantic.

The dates he'd take you on...

Picnics alone in the park with your favourite foods and drinks and expensive wines

Taking you to the most expensive restaurant in the state

Hopefully you were able to chose your own meal 💀

A nice dinner by candlelight

I love himmmmm

When he's not being a dick he'd be so sweet

Kisses on your hand, cheek, forehead, lips everywhere

Trying to cook when he shows up behind you and snuggles, sniffing and kissing your neck

Orrrrrrr he turns you around and starts dancing with you, spinning and swaying smiling, kissing you, telling you he loves you between each kiss.

Where has this man been all my life?

Give him to me.

Now!

Cuddling on his couch with some old romantic movie playing and Scotty snuggling in between you both

Omllllll lay your head on him and he'll start running his fingers through your hair.

Whispers about how much he loves you.

Him sitting in his office at his desk, you showing up with coffee for him made just how he likes it.

Imagine the cute lil smile that would appear on his face.

❤❤

He loves those cute little domestic moments

When cuddling in bed together he's definitely the big spoon

Or him laying on his back with you on his chest

His arms are always wrapped tightly around you preventing you from ever leaving

Why would I bby ♡

I'm down bad for this man 💀

Once again, first time writing headcanons so forgive me if these aren't the best. Please send requests I'm bored and in love with everything paul does ♡

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~Elliebean714

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡

#paul dano x reader #Calvin Weir-Fields #Calvin Weir-Fields x reader #ruby sparks #Elliebean714 #paul dano #my one true love ❤ 💖 ❣ 💕 💘#paul dano dm me immediately thx luv uuuu #im so down bad for this garbage man

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