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concussed-to-pieces · 7 months

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Wolves At The Door; Part Two

Fandom: Resident Evil [Village]

Pairing: Eventual Karl Heisenberg/AFAB!Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

Summary: "You don't gotta' lie to me, you know. Books don't get like this without love."

A/N: Welcome all, welcome to our second installment! Enjoy!

Tag List: @cookiethewriter @amneris21 @topgirl17 @vodkafolie @a-smol-witch @baby-lisuga @clockworkmidnight @calwitch @silver-quinn01 @velvet-paradox @hijackser @mrs-wolfwood @nonstop-haikyuu @mic-sunderland @somethingthatsaysbubbles @fullofmoonsandstars @stargazerofgoldenwords @imthegreenfairy86 @karlskitten @nitrogennightmare @chunnies

Prelude

Part One

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains mentions of blood, canon-typical violence, depictions of animal butchering, depictions of a burn/scalding and graphic depictions of mental and physical duress. Stay safe!]

Sleeping that night was…difficult. Heisenberg was restless and it definitely didn't help your mental state to have him skulking around the cabin in the half-light, maul in hand. You found yourself curling up on the couch, eyes unconsciously drawn to the dark windows even as you attempted to get some rest.

Karl, for his part, didn't seem better off than you. If anything he was worse, the man sweating visibly as he made his rounds. Whether from the exertion of the day or nerves you couldn't say, but you finally had enough.

"Sit down." You ordered, gesturing to the sagging chair that resided parallel to the couch. "You're making me dizzy with all your pacing."

He obeyed without a word, the maul resting across his knees after he settled into the chair. Karl's gaze landed on the floor after a moment and a deep frown etched a furrow between his brows. He seemed to be struggling with something, wrestling some deep conundrum in his mind, so you decided to simply stay quiet.

"I think I'm…like them." Heisenberg's voice grated a little when he broke the silence. "That wrongness, that…feeling, that Uncanny Valley shit, I hate it but I know it." His eyes darted to your own. "I don't think I'm a good person. Or I–dammit I don't know, I think bare minimum I've done some real bad things. Do you see it too? Or is it all in my head?"

…

You drew your knees up even tighter to your chest, resting your cheek on one of them. It was like you were studying him in the wan light of the candles on the wood stove. Those same candles threw enormous shadows on the walls, black forms twisting and writhing as the flames danced in the breeze from the open windows.

Karl couldn't decide what he wanted you to say. Was he the man, cowering in his chair, fidgeting with a simple club, or the nightmare creature skulking in the dark, made all the more terrifying by fear and imagination?

Wolf in sheep's clothing.

Choose, damn it! he found himself thinking irritably when you continued to look at him.

"Both."

Karl blinked, stunned at your response. "What?"

"Both."

"The hell do you mean?"

"I mean, I guess we're all both." You shrugged. That shrug was really starting to get under his skin. You were a little too free and easy with this stuff, in Karl's humble opinion! "We're all kind of unsettling in our own ways. I wouldn't say you're like those things out in the woods, but you're probably not unlike them either. Maybe you've got something to do with them, maybe not. Obviously you're weird, you can move metal with your brain. That doesn't mean you're like-" you gestured vaguely at one of the windows. "-those critters."

"Seems more like them than a normal person." Heisenberg muttered.

"Nobody's normal." You insisted, sounding almost annoyed. "Not even if they want to be. No matter how much you polish or clean things up, humans are weird. Sure, we can pretend for a little while, but we're all just a few wrong moves away from revealing how awkward we are."

"Awkward?" Karl snorted in disbelief. "I should be so damn lucky to be considered awkward, sugar. Better that than the town freak."

–pitchforks and torches, factory ablaze, iron-red scent in the air–

"What do you want me to say, huh?" was your retort, snapping Karl out of whatever memory that was. "I don't know you, but I'm trusting you on my property. The Duke vouched for you, which counts for something. Not much, but something." You leaned forward, one accusatory finger aimed at his chest. "I don't see any effing talismans around the property to ward you off. Do you?"

He couldn't meet your gaze. Heisenberg had no idea how to tell you that the mangled charm he had found tied to the fenceline made his hand feel like it was on fire when he tried to replace it on the post. I'm like them, I'm like them sat at the base of his throat, a lump of cold dread.

You sighed after a minute of his silence, apparently taking it as acceptance. "Of course you don't. So don't…don't worry about that stuff, okay? Worry about it when you have to. Don't make more trouble for yourself." One of your hands slipped along his jaw and Karl flinched before he could stop it, the instinctive motion obviously startling you because you quickly pulled away. "Oh sorry! Sorry, sorry." You apologized. "I shouldn't have…uh, that's on me."

"No it's--it's fine." Karl tried to wave you off, forcing a chuckle. "No harm done, right?"

…

His eyes had only met yours for a second, yet it felt like a lifetime. There was something there in his expression that had sent a shudder down your spine, compounded by the way he had flinched back. Karl laughed it off but his visage was guarded. Clearly whatever it was, he didn't feel like confronting it now. It may have even been something he didn't remember; some odd reaction to a thing he couldn't explain.

What is it like, you wondered with a flash of sympathy, to exist in a body that remembers what the mind doesn't?

Heisenberg eventually stood back up, the maul hanging loosely from his fingertips while he carried on that circuitous roaming. The repetitive creaking of the floorboards slowly began to lull you into a doze, the stubby candles on the wood stove burning low as the time passed.

The rustling of Heisenberg's tattered overcoat served to herald his rounds close to your resting place, and during your uneasy drowse you felt a hand tug up the light blanket that had slid off of your shoulder.

The dawn came slowly. Neither of you got much rest, you were fairly sure. At some point Karl had settled down in front of the door, his coat draped over him like a makeshift quilt. The maul was tucked up alongside him, a loyal companion even in slumber.

You had to admit, in the light of day you felt a bit foolish for being so scared the night before. But…Karl had been concerned too, right? Maybe he was just following your lead?

You scoffed at yourself, getting to your feet. You had survived the night and thus, there was the work of the day to be done. Breakfast first, then the chores you had neglected yesterday while you whipped yourself into a frenzy over (probably) nothing.

You squinted out the window next to the sink as you quickly washed your hands, scrutinizing the edge of your property with tired eyes. Everything looked okay, but you knew you would walk the fenceline later. If only to make yourself feel better! Maybe you would find a bear trail, or something else to allay the fears that still gnawed at you.

The morning meal was simple. You were still working your way through the abundance of plums from last year's harvest so dried fruit and a piece of hard cheese from the pantry lined your stomach well enough for the moment, but you would have to add bread to your to-do list. Having Karl in your home was quickly tearing a hole in your food supply; you were so accustomed to stretching your stores that dealing with a guest was proving difficult to manage.

Were you really so solitary that an unexpected visitor was enough to throw everything off? Granted, you did live alone in an off-the-grid cabin well past the outskirts of some old, abandoned village. You were pretty sure it was abandoned, anyway. The only map you'd ever seen it on was a moldering scrap of paper included with the equally-old deed to your current abode, and until the Duke had trundled up the rutted, overgrown road, you hadn't seen another person for quite a while.

You were self-sufficient, that's all, and you valued your peace and quiet. Out here, nothing really bothered you. Aside from the occasional deer pilfering fallen apples during the autumn or a fat boar rooting its way through your lettuce and green beans in the summer, that is.

You didn't mind being alone.

Karl mumbled a protest when you roused him from his spot in front of the door, and you quickly ushered him to relocate on the couch. It seemed like he was asleep before he was fully horizontal, much to your amusement. No time for that though, there was work to be done!

…

Karl groggily came to, realizing the noise he had heard in his dreams was the sound of the cabin door creaking open in the breeze. You were outside humming some tuneless, meandering thing, punctuated by occasional grunts of exertion.

Heisenberg stared wearily up at the knotholes in the ceiling. Did you ever stop? In the brief time he had known you it seemed like you were always doing things, always occupied with some eternal, infernal task. Sisyphean, his brain reminded him helpfully. Clearly he enjoyed clinging to useless information.

He sat up with a groan, stretching his arms overhead and then rubbing absently at the scarring on his abdomen. It didn't really itch, not exactly. The Duke had left behind some sort of ointment for him that you had been dutifully applying every other day and it seemed to help expedite Karl's healing process, but the skin around the area always felt a little too tight.

At that moment you shouldered open the ajar door, your sleeves rolled up to the elbow and your hands covered in…

Karl lunged to his feet, groping for the maul and watching it come flying from beside the doorframe to his waiting grasp. "What happened?!" He all but shouted at you, bewildered when you met the inquiry with a breathless little laugh. Were you in shock? That was a lot of blood!

Now you were waving your hands around, as if to distract him. "I'm sorry! I didn't want to wake you. Something got a deer at the back fenceline, I've been prepping it to dress." You explained, nudging open one of your cabinets with your elbow and scooping up a pile of stained towels. "Had to hoist it to drain, the usual."

"Oh." Karl wasn't sure how much of this his heart could take. The poor thing was currently hammering in his throat and he got the feeling it'd be that way for a while. "Wait, what do you mean something?" He latched onto your words, suspicion mounting as your expression shifted from puzzled to concerned.

"I thought…I thought it was wolves, maybe?" You reasoned. "They're pretty skittish, so if they'd heard something in the house moving they might have left the deer."

Karl followed you out of the cabin, still firing off questions while the two of you trekked across the yard. "How'd it die, did you see any weird marks on it?" I didn't hear shit, there's no way it was wolves.

"Usual stuff." You settled onto your haunches beside the strung-up deer, gesturing vaguely at the neck which had been ripped open. "Must have tired it out and then took it down."

Heisenberg crouched beside you, examining the primary wound and finding that his eyes seemed much too accustomed to the scene. It stirred odd half-recollections in his broken memory, ushering things to the surface that, frankly, he was getting a little nervous about.

--looking down at a body with his hands up to the forearm in the abdomen, his own cajoling, mocking voice echoing in some deep, dark hole–

The deer. The deer for fuck's sake keep it together Karl.

Karl forced himself to focus, tracing a half moon-shaped bite imprint with a sinking feeling in his stomach. "This isn't a wolf kill." He said finally. "That's from a human mouth, or at least one shaped like it, see?"

You gave him an incredulous look but obliged, your knee knocking into his as you shuffled over. After a moment, you wrinkled your nose. "Guess I shouldn't cure this, then. Be a bit of a waste to dry what might be contaminated meat." You sounded dejected, continuing, "I was hoping it was a lucky break. You like meat and I just…storing it is always an issue for me so I usually only take down small things in snares. Rabbits, pheasants." You sat back, grimacing at your bloody hands. "Give me a minute and I'll haul this away so we don't attract anything unsavory."

"I'll do it."

"You're still recovering! Splitting wood is one thing, dragging a dead body through the forest is-"

Something I'm intimately familiar with. Karl cut you off, shaking his head. "Just let me. I already feel like all this is happening because I'm here. If it's really got nothing to do with me, this is the biggest goddamn coincidence I've ever witnessed." He swore, then growled, "where the hell is that fat bastard when we need him?"

"He is a creature of convenience." You acquiesced, your smile rueful. "His own, specifically. Wonder how much lei I'll have to scare up for some fresh talismans?"

"If he charges you I'll kill him myself." Karl stated flatly, mentally reeling from the sudden animosity that flared up. "Fuck that prick and his two-timing bullshit." Two-timing? Where did that come from?

True to his word and despite your protests, Karl shouldered the deer carcass and lumbered off into the woods. You pointed him towards the trail you had previously marked out with small blazes on the trees so he simply followed it to what you had dubbed your 'disposal site'.

As he trudged, Karl noted in a somewhat distant way that the body he had slung over his shoulders didn't seem…all that heavy? Granted, it had lost a bit of blood, but you hadn't even gotten to gutting it yet. He also noticed that the blazes left on the trees were somewhat softened or overgrown, as though they had been there for years. The man's brow furrowed.

Just how long had you been out here? Wherever here was, of course.

The disposal site was a small pile of refuse from your previous endeavors. Bones were scattered around, presumably by whatever scavengers had visited the area. Karl, not really paying attention and moving on autopilot, simply threw the deer to the side. He watched the body skid for a moment, then reality caught up with him.

That deer should be heavy. It should be pretty heavy, bare minimum. He had heard the way you had struggled to lift it, even with the pulley system you used to hoist it up on a nearby tree branch to drain. But to him, it felt like nothing. Karl flexed his fingers nervously, sure he was missing something. Moving metal with his brain was all well and good, but if he was some kind of freak why couldn't it only be in one regard? What else was wrong with him?

--the giant hammer slamming down again, the eruption of blood and the sputtering roar of a turbine–

…

You grumbled as you scrubbed at your arms, annoyed with the current turn of events. You'd really thought you had caught a break, finding that deer! Instead, all you had gotten was disappointment. You shouldn't be surprised, knowing your luck, but still. Annoying. Disheartening.

You dashed a few tears away, frustrated with yourself for getting so wound up again. Maybe you could chalk it up to the poor sleep you'd gotten the previous night. You inhaled deeply, trying to rein everything in and force yourself to be rational. You'd just have to set some snares, that wasn't any big deal! You were making a mountain out of a molehill here.

You scrubbed a little harder, huffing out a breath.

There was a crashing in the undergrowth that heralded the return of Karl but you didn't turn to look at him, simply raising a hand to acknowledge his presence and then going back to tediously cleaning the grime from beneath your fingernails.

You yelped, dodging the spray it kicked up which caused Karl to chuckle. "What, afraid of getting wet?" He teased, grabbing the sleeve of the shirt and preparing to reel it in.

Karl slouched down beside you on the riverbank, the shoulder of his worn shirt smeared with blood from the carcass. You realized belatedly that maybe you should have offered him one of your rags to keep the stains to a minimum, but he didn't seem overly concerned with appearances. He was silent for a moment, staring down at the running water. Then, without preamble, he undid a few buttons on his shirt and jerked it over his head, flinging it into the water. He nearly took his undershirt off along with it, but managed to wriggle loose at the last moment.

"No, no, you'd better not!" You exclaimed, scrambling to your feet. "Don't you d-" The wet shirt smacked your leg, sending a frigid jolt up your spine and making you unleash the most embarrassing squawk of dismay.

Heisenberg's smirk was positively devious, the man slapping the shirt back down into the water once more as you raced away. "You can't escape me that easily, sugar!"

"I can try!" You yelled back, ducking through your fence and bolting into the woods.

You could still hear him laughing as he pursued you and weirdly you found yourself giggling too. It was as if the tension had broken, the two of you sprinting through the trees without a care in the world. Eventually, breathless, you ended up back at the edge of your property waving off Heisenberg's quickly-advancing form.

"Time out!" You gasped, flopping against a tree trunk. "I give up, okay? You got me."

Instead of snapping the shirt at you like you had been expecting Karl crowded you back against the tree, cupping your face with the sopping fabric. You closed your eyes, luxuriating in the sudden coolness after your mad dash, and you heard Karl swallow hard. When you opened your eyes again Karl was looking at you with that odd expression, his own gaze troubled.

He had never been this close to you and you realized, in an absent sort of way, that his green irises had an amber-yellow ring around the pupil. In this light, you mused internally, he's almost handsome. "What? Do I have something on my face?" You finally quipped, already missing the lighthearted mood of moments before.

Karl opened his mouth, paused, and then simply stepped back, sweeping his hat off to offer you an elaborate bow in the direction of your home. "I'll let you off easy this once." His smile was sardonic.

A strange sense of loss came over you as he sauntered away but you hurriedly shook it off, running to catch up with him instead as he laboriously began to rebutton the damp shirt over his threadbare undershirt. "If you want meat, I expect you to lend me a hand setting up the snares."

"More shit to do!" The man half-laughed, half-groaned at your demand, settling his hat further back on the crown of his head. "Don't you ever take a break?"

"No, not really," was your blunt response.

"Well," Karl drew the word out, giving you a haughty look. "Maybe you ought to."

"The genius on display." You replied sarcastically, flicking the brim of his hat. "If I don't do shit, who will? You're not going to be here forever y'know, and I can't exactly rely on having an extra pair of hands."

"I think you could, though." Heisenberg's eyes were pointedly fixed ahead when you glanced at him. "For a little while, at least?" The only way you could tell it was a question was the barely-there uptick in his tone of voice at the end. You, for your part, were a bit stunned. You hadn't thought…

"W-Well that's up to you!" You stuttered out, feeling strangely flustered. "I'm not kicking you out, if that's what you're asking. You leave when you want to. But," you then paused, trying to infuse some gravity into the situation, "you will have to keep pitching in if you stay, so I'm not sure if the tradeoff is worth it to you."

It was at least half a joke.

Well, maybe a quarter. There was always work.

"Understood." You watched him withdraw a pair of leather gloves from his back pocket, then Karl tilted his head towards you with a grin. "Snares, huh? Think the rope is strong enough to snag a boar?"

…

It was odd, the easy way Karl slotted into your day to day. You woke before him in the mornings and he went to bed well after you, the two of you still on different sleep schedules. You partitioned off a section of the living room so that he could have a bit of privacy, shoving the repaired camping cot into the corner behind the sheet.

That was it. Simple. Painless.

He helped around the yard, pulling weeds in the garden or watering as the summer continued to march on. He held fences so you could mend them and the two of you did your best to not talk about the withered remains of the Duke's charms, now all but crumbled to dust. He checked the snares and you could tell whether the trap had been a success by listening for his distant crowing in delight.

Karl's presence became normal. Mundane, even.

Many's the morning he came stumbling out of the cabin door, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he passed you a cup of something to drink. Karl often urged you to take breaks, "even for a second or two," and you would usually oblige, if grudgingly. The extra set of hands was appreciated, but you didn't want to fully rely on him. That wasn't fair to either of you! He should be free to pick up his pieces should his memory return in full, and the last thing you wanted was him sticking around out of fear that you would be ineffective on your own after all of his help.

A day then came where you felt like another shift occurred, a gray day where you were feeding more wood into your stove, intent on making an excess of quality charcoal for the rain barrel filter you knew needed refreshing soon. It was dull, smoky work and Heisenberg for his part was content to sit, the man leafing through one of your few dog-eared books with an increasingly-sour squint.

"Not your thing?" You finally asked, a little pricked by the stiffness of his face. Karl shook his head absently and you watched his eyes dart over the pages. You tried again, "I didn't bring much with me, so that's kind of a favorite." Kind of. The poor book's tattered state heralded a lifetime of reading; shoved into bags or pockets and bookmarked over and over.

Karl looked up, that grim squint still holding firm. "You don't gotta' lie to me, you know. Books don't get like this without love." He closed the book, fanning the air with it. "I uh, I don't think your stove is drawing right. The smoke is burning my eyes a little."

To your dismay you realized that he was, in fact, correct. The stove was currently billowing smoke from the ajar door and you scrambled to adjust the crooked old chimney, but in your haste you forgot how hot the metal would be.

Heisenberg was on his feet before the pained noise left your mouth, the man yanking you back a step and then glaring at the leaning stovepipe, which snapped itself as straight as a poker. "Sugar," he chastised, examining your palms as you hissed in pain. "C'mon, let's get you to the river before that blisters."

In an uncharacteristic moment of vulnerability, instead of protesting you simply let yourself be led to the riverbank. The chill of the water worked quickly to soothe your scalded skin, reducing the pain to a small area on the heel of one of your palms. Karl kept your hands in his own, the man not meeting your eyes the entire time he ministered to you. When you flinched he muttered an apology, his voice gruff, and something about the tone had your stomach in knots.

"I think it'll be okay." You said softly after a few minutes. Karl started, like he had forgotten you were there, like he had forgotten your hands were cupped in his. His eyes locked with yours and you smiled, wanting to express your gratitude for his presence but having difficulty coming up with the words. You simply settled on, "thank you."

In reply, Heisenberg huffed and snorted so much you were certain he was going to choke, the man just jamming his hat down around his ears and then sauntering off. "What are you waiting for?" he yelled over his shoulder. "You keep sitting around and the house is gonna' burn down!"

More likely to get blown over by a huffing, puffing wolf, you thought with a private little snicker as you rose.

…

Indebted was the only word he could think of, but it was…wrong somehow. Every time you smiled, it let Karl convince himself to stay a little while longer.

Besides, it wasn't…so bad being indebted. If he could even call it that.

There came the day when you ran out of the salves the Duke had given you for Karl's wounds and it was pitiful, but Heisenberg almost missed the way you would tend to his fading scars. Almost. He told himself it wasn't that he missed the actual care, but it was easier for his body to mend if his brain was receiving constant affirmation about it. Without that, well, things might slow a bit.

He felt like he couldn't afford to slow down, for whatever reason. The feeling in his stomach continued to yawn wider, the desire to move and cause harm with every step becoming more and more prevalent.

He'd had you there, beneath that tree, and that was what had shaken him to his core. The tunnel vision that took hold of him as he chased you was…something he didn't want to examine too closely.

Like them. Whatever they were.

He had pulled away. Had deflected. A cocksure attitude did a lot to hide certain reactions, certain expressions he wasn't the master of. The reality of knowing that it was a switch, some terrible thing inside of him that bayed for violence, kept Karl's sleep even more poor than it had been previously. And when he would forget, overstep, cozy up, Heisenberg would sternly remind himself of The Facts: he was clearly Bad and you were Good and the way the world worked was not kind to people like him.

Really, it wasn't so terrible. Sometimes you even thanked him, your hands in his own after you burned yourself, your face so close to his and your smile small but no less genuine for its size.

As the first apples began to ripen on your two trees (to Karl's combined horror and relief) an unfamiliar-familiar cart made its ponderous way up the now nearly-intraversable road.

You were still inside washing dishes from lunch, so Karl called to you through the window to alert you and then acquired the maul from the woodpile. That gargantuan bastard had some things to answer for.

"It is good to see you so hearty once more, my Lord!" The Duke called once Karl was within earshot, his broad face split with a grotesque smile. "Your recovery was no guarantee, after all."

My Lord. My Lord. Lord Karl Heisenberg. My Lord.

Karl reached up as high as he could and seized a handful of the Duke's straining shirt collar, his voice a seething whisper when he demanded, "tell me what you know or I'm feeding you to the fucking wolves."

Part Three

#karl heisenberg #lord karl heisenberg #eventual romance #fix it fic #au #resident evil #re 8 #re 8 village #resident evil village #resident evil karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg x reader #karl heisenberg imagine #re 8 karl heisenberg #slow burn

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nat20potato · 11 months

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DIALOGUE DRABBLE

Summary: Xenk and Edgin gets separated from the rest of the party while running from trouble, and Edgin sprains his ankle.

Rating: G

Pairings: Mild Edgin Darvis/Xenk Yendar

"I'm fine, I'm fine, stop fussing."

"You are clearly not fine, as evident by the limp that you are unsuccessfully hiding-,"

"Well maybe I'll be able to hide it better if you pick up the pace, we don't know how far back we've lost them and Simon won't be able to hide our tracks for too long-,"

"The currents are strong and the river is deep; were you to slip and fall it will delay our journey all that much further. If you would simply allow me to-,"

"Don't, Xenk, please, you only have so much energy and I need you to keep it until after we meet back up with Holga and Kira and we see how bad her wounds are. I'm sorry for slowing us down but I promise I'm trying, ok?"

"I understand your reticence, but that is not what I was about to offer. Climb on my back."

"...Ex-fucking-scuse me?"

"It is not an offer of intercourse."

"No, I fucking-got that-you want me to climb on your back? While in a river?"

"We are stationed by large enough croppings of stone that provide enough respite of the currents and a boost, should you need it, there is no better station of security in current conditions."

"Xenk, I'm 200 pounds and change bone dry, and I have-have stuff on my own back. My lute."

"My circumstances and training have allowed me strength to carry heavier burdens for longer periods, and it is a practical solution in our dire conditions. Hurry."

"Xenk, you're wearing armor."

"Edgin. Please."

"Shit. Fuck. Fine. Hold my lute. Hold still. Ow. Oh shit that's the ankle-,"

"I apologize-,"

"Don't. Any more and my pride might not survive."

"It is not my intention to wound you or your dignity any further-,"

"I know, I know bud, keep walking, yeah? I appreciate it, I do, but let's keep this to ourselves when we meet up with the others."

"Our hands would not have been forced were I less careless in our previous battle, and I would have had enough energy to heal both you and your daughter-,"

"Don't do that, Xenk, you held off a whole tribe of bandits on your own, saved Simon's life, you can't save everyone."

"I am not well-versed...it has been. A while since I have quested for long periods with company...besides myself."

"See? Not your fault. Wow, you are REALLY not straining at all. Little bit further."

"I would like to apologize; were I quicker to take to travelling with company, with others, perhaps I would be less inclined to selfishness-,"

"Prioritzing your own health and well being in the middle of battle isn't selfishness, Xenk, and we need you at your best anyway, you couldn't have known Kira was gonna be struck down like that. But forgiven, ok? Forgotten. No harm done."

"Some harm had been inflicted."

"Not by you, even indirectly. Besides, if practice travelling with company's the problem, there's an easy solution for that."

"...you would offer me a place in your family? Still, after my mistakes?"

"We've literally just had the conversation about how you didn't do anything wrong, but yeah. Of course. Kira loves you. Always good to have another competent fighter in the bunch. Truth be told we're probably the ones getting the better end of the deal if you do."

"I disagree. The love, care and camaraderie you share between yourselves is a connection found few and far in between, even amongst fellow adventurers. You hide not your affections and love amongst those you take under your wing, Edgin Darvis, and I would be...honored, to be amongst those you have come to accept as kin."

"It's not...that deep. Whatever. Dry land! Thank God. Oh ow. Ow. Ok, you know what-,"

"Perhaps it is more prudent for me to carry you a little bit rest of the way until we find a safer place of rest."

"Great! Good idea-only if you can carry-,"

"It is no trouble; you are lighter than you assume yourself to be."

"Ouch."

"Have I troubled your injury?"

"Only the one on my pride."

"Rest assured I will set you down before we reach our encampment."

"Appreciate it buddy. 'Least that means I'm losing the beer gut."

#dndhat #xedgin #xenk yendar #edgin darvis #dialogue drabble #choice of fic #holga kilgore #simon aumar

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sparklypinkflightsuit · 3 months

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Predator and Prey: Chapter Seven

Pairing: Tommy Cahill x Reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, Minors do not interact, Slow Burn, War Inaccuracies, Swearing, Mention of PTSD but barely, Stalking, Abuse, Sexual Themes, Smut, Unprotected Sex (don’t do it!), I think that’s it?

Summary: Things take a dark turn after you and Tommy finally take the next step.

- Chapter Six Here -

———————————

18+ only beyond this point

———————————

You woke up to the sound of a phone buzzing. It wasn’t yours so you nudged Tommy awake.

“Hey…” you whispered, shaking him slightly.

Tommy didn’t budge, and light snoring escaped his slightly parted lips.

You laughed softly, and starting kissing his chest and stomach in quick little bursts.

Tommy chuckled, “Stop, I’m really ticklish.” One eye opened slightly, looking down at you.

“Morning handsome, your phones ringing.” You smirked up at him.

Tommy groaned, and reluctantly rolled over to grab it from his nightstand. When he saw the caller ID he shot up into a sitting position.

“Sam?” He answered, slowly moving to stand up, both still naked from your bedtime shenanigans. You suddenly felt a pang of worry, wondering what the call could be about.

After a few seconds Tommy chuckled lightly, and you breathed a sigh of relief. Tommy paced up and down the room as he spoke to his brother. You couldn’t help but bite your lip as you admired his body.

“Uh huh, yeah… that’s fine, I’ll see you then. Bye.” He hung up with smile on his face.

“Sam wants to see me today. Just the two of us. Will you be okay if I go?” He asked, still smiling from his phone call.

“Of course, I need to go back to the house and sort some things out anyway, call a window repairman, speak to my landlord, all the boring stuff.” You shrugged, sitting up in bed.

Tommys smile faltered, and he walked over to you and sat in front of you on the bed, facing you. He cupped your face gently and stroked your cheek.

“I’m not saying you can’t handle it on your own, but… why don’t you wait here until I get back? I can come with you then.” Tommy knew he’d feel much better if you just waited for him.

You leaned forward and kissed Tommy, you couldn’t get enough of him, you could stay in bed with him all day, tangled in the sheets. You pushed the thought out of your mind, no Tommy needed to go see Sam and you had things to do.

You shook your head and smiled at the man in front of you. “You worry too much. I’ll be fine, I promise. I’m taking Jet anyway, plus the repairman will probably be there for a while if I can get one booked in for today.”

Tommy breathed a sigh of defeat. “Ok, I’ll meet you at the house after I’m done with Sam?”

You nodded, “Yeah that would be good, we can go get lunch somewhere maybe?”

“Sounds good, beautiful.”

You went to stand up to get ready for your day, but Tommy grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you back onto the bed.

“What are-“ you started but were interrupted by his lips on yours. Tommy pushed you to lay down, and slowly began kissing down your neck and collar bone.

“Mmmm….” You moaned, “Tommy, we’ll be in bed all day..”

Tommy didn’t reply, continuing to kiss down to your breasts, his tongue darting out to lick over your hard nipples, giving each the attention they deserved. He then moved swiftly down and peppered kisses all over your stomach.

You tangled your fingers in his hair as you felt him going further South, your heart rate quickening. Tommy looked up at you and you locked eyes for a brief second, before his tongue made its way out and lapped hungrily at your core. You gasped and wriggled underneath him, the feeling unfamiliar, having had nothing like this in over three years.

Tommy moaned into you, and slid his middle finger into you slowly, causing you to gasp loudly, before covering your face with your arm. He continued this for several minutes, flatting his hand on your lower stomach to keep you still, as you tried to buck into him.

Suddenly he stopped, deciding he couldn’t hold out any longer. He spat in his hand and pumped himself a few times. Tommy crawled up to your face, kissing a line up your stomach and chest. You pushed him over onto his back, and straddled him.

“Oh…” he said with eyes wide. He liked where this was going.

You slowly lowered yourself onto him, inch by inch until he was all the way inside you. You savoured the stretch you felt, and how far in he went, before you began circling your hips.

Tommy bit his knuckle as he watched you ride him, your right hand holding the headboard for support while your left hand touched yourself for Tommys visual pleasure. He ran his free hand over your stomach downwards, and took over for you, rubbing small circles on your clit as you bounced. You moaned and threw your head back as you continued riding him.

“I think I’m gonna cum..” Tommy breathed.

“Cum for me, Tommy.” You instructed, locking eyes.

“Yes ma’am.” He breathed. Tommys eyebrows knit together and his mouth hung open as he bucked hard a few times, and spilled into you.

Seeing his muscles tense under you and the look on his face was enough to send you over the edge. You gasped and clenched around him, you body shuddering violently. This caused Tommy to groan and throw his head back against the pillow, eyes rolling to the back of his head. You bucked a couple more times to ride out your high, and collapsed on Tommys chest, panting.

“Holy shit..” he breathed, an arm wrapping around your shoulders while the other wiped sweat off of his forehead.

You and Tommy both had a quick shower to get cleaned up. You left yours and Jets things at his as you planned to stay the night again. You quickly checked the security cameras to make sure everything was ok at home, rewinding until the night before. There had been no motion sensor triggers and nothing seemed amiss, so you eventually made it out the door after being pulled back in several times by Tommy for kisses.

Back at your house, you unlocked the door and poked your head in, everything seemed fine and far less menacing in the day light. You let Jet in and made quick work calling the local window repair man, who said he could be there in an hour and 20 minutes. You thanked him and proceeded to call your landlord. She answered and you explained your situation. She was horrified but understood, and even agreed to give you back half of your deposit despite breaking your contract early. She said she’d need to start viewings as early as next week to replace you, and you agreed that your things would be boxed up and out of the house by then.

You breathed a sigh of relief, which was quickly replaced with dread as you looked around the house at all the things that needed to be done by then.

You decided the first step would be to go and obtain some cardboard boxes, you had a few back at the store from when you opened it. You didn’t feel comfortable leaving Jet there with the window being how it was, and still had around an hour before the repair man would arrive, so opted to walk Jet to the store.

You grabbed as many boxes as you could comfortably carry and made your way back to the house.

Jet settled on the sofa with his favourite bone, and you put the tv on for background noise as you worked to pack away as many things as you could in the boxes you had.

You worked away, humming to yourself, feeling giddy that you and Tommy had taken things to the next step. You didn’t know what to call it, but you were in a good place. You heard your phone ping, and looked down at the screen:

Tommy C:

“Hey, miss you ❤️ Having a good time catching up with Sam, but can’t wait to see you later. Am I being too soppy?”

You laughed, and picked up your phone to reply, not noticing over the background noise that your attic hatch door had opened, and someone was silently, almost expertly, dropping down into the small blindspot between the living room and hallway were the cameras weren’t facing.

Jets tail wagged as he saw a face he recognised, the figure slowly walking towards you where your back was turned in the kitchen.

Before you could finish your text to Tommy, a notification popped up on your screen.

Movement Detected: Kitchen

You ignored this, your motion sensors had been going off since you got home. You really needed to disable these while you were there. You went back to typing to Tommy.

Tommy never did receive a reply from you, but he thought maybe you had gotten distracted. It was only hours later, when he had left Sam’s house, and tried to call you, that he began to worry. He left a voicemail as he drove to your house.

“Hey, just left Sam’s. On my way to you now, if you get this before I arrive, please call me. Can’t wait to see you.”

He hung up, but the feeling of dread was only growing stronger and stronger as he drove the agonisingly long 5 minute journey to your street.

He pulled up outside your house and could hear Jet barking from inside the house. He quickly got out of the truck and noticed a “sorry we missed you” post-it stuck to your door, with the window repairman’s logo at the top. Tommy went cold. He pushed the front door open, and Jet ran up to him with a whimper.

Tommy called your name into the empty house, and waited for a reply. Nothing. He scanned the living room and kitchen for any signs of a struggle, the only giveaway was Jets water bowl had been knocked over and soaked the kitchen floor.

Tommy ran around the rest of the house looking for you, calling your name over and over.

Panic washed over Tommy, and he took out his phone to dial your number. Suddenly the number was going straight to voicemail.

Your sunny voice echoed through the house.

“Hi, sorry I can’t get to the phone right now, just drop me a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

The beep signalling he could leave his message sounded and Tommy hung up. His eyes darted around the house trying to figure out what to do.

He grabbed Jets lead and took him to the truck, putting him securely in the back seat.

Tommy climbed in the drivers seat and just sat there for a second, contemplating what could have happened and what to do next.

A tide of anger swept over him suddenly, and he shouted, cursed and smashed the steering wheel until he’d calmed down. Jet cocked his head at the noise, and then whimpered and lay down on the back seat.

“Sorry boy, sorry…” Tommy breathed, panting with anger and worry. He lay his head on the steering wheel contemplating whether or not to go to the cops, as he knew they would just tell him to wait 24 hours.

No, Tommy had a better idea. He had to call Sam.

——————————————

- Chapter Eight Here -

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melodyofthevoid · 7 months

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Spotify Discovery Review

So I wanted to try something new and figured I'd dive into more music thoughts, and since I've been actually listening to my Spotify Discovery (I needed new music lol) so yeah.

Overall Rating: 13/30 that I really like and even sort of like, so not bad. Probably won't be saving a ton of these for later listening, a few might go into some character playlists at least so that's good. We'll see if any grow on me. Below are some of the standouts good, bad, and indifferent. A few songs I didn't include bc they're instrumentals that I didn't really have any thoughts on. Not even neutral thoughts.

Good

Dear Alice (rainy days)

Slow and dreamlike, it's not really a surprise that there's heavy Alice in Wonderland theming but even though there's not a ton of singing, I found myself enjoying the ride.

Femme Fatale

A fantastic beat, a combination of western and tango aesthetics, a fast paced ride that makes me want to groove. Love the flirty danger that drips off of every word, it's got a solid identity and doesn't feel like it's trying too hard to be "edgy" or anything.

YOUR HEAD'S ON FIRE

Louie Zhong is always a bop and his lyrical style is always a joy. Unconventional metaphors and fun little bits, a very groovy guitar line that makes you want to wiggle.

Blink of an eye

Halfy and Winks make DSMP songs, I'm aware of this, however I love their musical style and lyrics. Gives me heavy inspiration for my own story just with how vivid and story based their stuff is. The revolutionary spark in here is nice.

Invisible Dan Avidan has popped into my feeds and I’m not really complaining? I love the rock style/retro vibe that this one has going on, his vocals really sell it. A little bit chase scene a little bit breakdown but overall a good time.

The Moon and Stars

Good folk vibes, gets close to scratching the same itch that The Crane Wives do but not quite, which is still a good time for me. We'll see if this fits a character in future.

The Manic

A great character song, will be applying to my blorbos soon. The pushing away from someone you love because you know you'll hurt them eventually and can't take it. Very good stuff.

Dance While the Sky Crashes Down

Eyyy Jason Webly, I remember you from WTNV. A tango for the end of the world and honestly isn't that a mood? I love the lyrics, although it drags a smidge at the end. Maybe because of TMA I'm a little more inclined towards this.

A song whose title is in Japanese. It's from land of the lustrous and I cannot copy paste the title.

Very eerie, very atmospheric. I haven't watched the show in its entirety myself, but I know that it has horror and suspense interwoven in some of the back half, and the clanking bells and echoes really give the sensation of being watched. Of being on edge. Good stuff.

Break Your Cranck

An altogether inexplicable piece. It’s done on a hurdy gurdy which is already a plus but. It. It sounds like electronica crafted by pirate bees. With some Indian influence thrown in for flavor. Like a space punk pirate bazaar. Very atmospheric but also so so confusing. I love it.

Dance of the blood drunk

A balance of wild carnival and orchestral splendor, feels like an epic batter on a grand scale. The unsteady thrill of never knowing if you’re winning or not.

Neutral

Absence

I kinda forgot what this sounded like tbh.

How Dare You

Pretty good? No real feelings on it.

I was an island

Again with the good lyrics, but the instrumentation and singing are on the verge of being unlistenable? Like I can listen, and I could see myself putting this on a character playlist or two for sure.

Tavern crawl

A fun little bawdy medieval style song, Annapantsu kills it as expected, but bar songs/drinking songs aren’t really my vibe? But I could see myself grooving to this generally.

Brand new city

Mitski, which is good, but some of her stuff doesn't hit me as much as it does others, and this is one of those times. Not bad by any means, just not something I can see myself going back to.

Cold, cold, cold

Has a story to it, the grandiosity is nice especially near the end but the whole song together doesn’t quite capture me in the way that other artists in this space do. I could listen to it if I was in a particular mood but otherwise it’s not a stand out.

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch

I do like the Jekyll and Hyde musical don't get me wrong but I'm not a huge fan of this one? It's mostly a song meant to establish the upper crust as mindless gossips and twits, the combination of the old Disney-musical style instrumentals and the rather vulgar (by Victorian standards) lyrics is funny but that's all its got.

Timekeeper's Heartbeat

An interesting case where I like the instrumentals and most of the lyrics but it fails to really coalesce into a song? There's bits that don't rhyme for no reason, it comes across like one of those English vocaloid covers that doesn't adjust for the context. If it is, I wouldn't be surprised.

Nah

Whiplash (Black Math) Don’t like listening to it, not much else to really say here.

Wish you were gay I’m aware this one is a bit of a darling in some of the animation meme circles but I don’t really care for the instrumentation or the lyrics. Unpleasant to listen to.

Two's a party Jazz/cabaret but there’s not really a depth to it imo. I find it a bit hard to listen to despite the singer being pretty good if a bit... too whispery. A combination of the lyrics and sudden trumpet jump scares ig.

Judas An interesting concept and premise, the dichotomy of a queer relationship contrasted with the religious imagery is layered but the vocal performance doesn’t really do it for me. Seems to want to be mountain goats but it’s a little too raw?

I DONT TRUST U ANYMORE Person with a guitar genre, valid feelings but vocal performance is a bit flat. Reminds me of blink 182 but with none of the energy.

#melody rambles #spotify discovery review #might also open up my inbox to song recommendations if y'all feel like throwing something in there

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btsqualityy · 2 years

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Blood On The Dance Floor: Chapter 3

Hoseok x Reader

Genre/Rate: 18+, established relationship, thriller, fatal attraction!AU (kind of, but with major changes), smut, angst, and fluff.

Summary: Bora has a realization, you surprise Hobi at work, and you finally meet Bora.

Warnings: None to note.

WC: 1.1K

Author’s Note: Continuing my yearly tradition of posting something on my birthday lol! I know this part is kind of short but I hope you guys enjoy it!

“I need a fucking drink,” Hobi muttered to himself as he looked up onto the stage, where the members of HYBE’s most popular male and female group were standing. It was the first week in December now, and the year end shows were already beginning. In addition to working with HYBE’s newest boy group who were now freshly debuted, Hobi was put in charge of choregraphing a few unit stages as well. Hobi being Hobi, he loved the challenge but god damn it, he felt like he was going to lose his mind.

“Hobi, what do you want to do?” Bora wondered from his side and Hobi glanced over at her before taking a deep breath.

“I guess we’ll show it to them again,” he replied before walking up the steps to the stage with Bora following right behind him, and every member of the two respective groups settled their gazes on Hobi as he began to talk to them.

“I know this can feel a little awkward, doing a dance as sensual as the one we’re having you guys do to Sway With Me, but you all have to loosen up a little bit,” Hobi told them. “Here, get together with your partner and we’ll go over the movements again. Bora, demonstrate for the women please.”

“Yes Sir,” Bora nodded her head, moving to stand a few paces away from Hobi so that they were both visible to the groups.

“And 5, 6, 7, 8,” Hobi counted them off, leading the groups through a medium paced version of the choreography. The couples were still too stuff with each other though, their arms not even completely around each other as they danced.

“No, no, no, no,” Hobi groaned. “This just isn’t working.”

“Tell me about it,” one of the male idols mumbled.

“Maybe we should take a short break,” Bora suggested. “Let the choreography marinate in their minds a little bit, you know?”

“We don’t have time for that. The show is tomorrow,” Hobi reminded her. After thinking for a few seconds, a lightbulb went off in Hobi’s head and he snapped his fingers in victory. “Bora, come here.”

“Ok,” she said confusedly before moving to stand right next to him.

“Bora-ssi and I are going to demonstrate the choreography for you guys, so that you can have a tangible sense of what we need from you tomorrow night during the show,” Hobi explained. Turning to face her, Hobi held his hands out and Bora placed her own into them, letting him wrap her arms around his neck before he settled his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to his body.

“And 5, 6, 7, 8,” Hobi counted off again, following the music that was still dancing as he led Bora in a tango. The two of them went through the movements effortlessly, their limbs seemingly an extension of each other’s as they did the entire song.

As they danced, they also kept an intense eye contact with each other. For Hobi, this was just an example of how he wanted the idols to do it the next night; for Bora, however, it felt like the spark to something special.

She had never realized how deep and beautiful his brown eyes were and now that she had looked into them, she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to look away from them again.

“And that’s how it’s done!” Hobi smiled once the song ended, and the group of idols all applauded for their mini performance. “Now, let’s all try that again.” The music began again and the couples went through the choreography a few more times, getting better and better each time that the song restarted.

Although she knew she should’ve been paying attention to the idols, Bora couldn’t help but to keep her gaze on Hobi. Watching him put such passion into his job impressed her, and she couldn’t help but to notice how his muscles bulged underneath his fitted sweatshirt.

“Alright, let’s break for today!” Hobi announced. “We meet here, bright and early, at 9am for rehearsals!” All of the idols bowed to both Hobi and Bora before beginning to filter off stage, and Hobi was about to do the same until he heard someone shout his name.

“Hey, Jung!” Hobi turned around then, a wide grin on his face when he saw you standing in front of the stage.

“Y/N, hi!” He greeted you happily, walking to the edge of the stage and bending down, pressing a firm kiss to your lips. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I was bored at home so I decided to come visit you,” you responded. “I hope it’s not a bad time.”

“Not at all,” he assured you. “We actually just ended for the day. Here, I’ll introduce you to everyone.” Hobi grabbed you by your hand then, introducing you to all of the crew members, a few other choreographers, and even a few idols that were still sticking around for VCR shoots.

“Ah, I almost forgot,” Hobi chuckled as he led you down the steps from the stage, where Bora was gathering up her things. “Y/N, this is my assistant choreographer Bora. Bora, this is my wife Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you,” you smiled as you extended your hand towards her and you noticed the slight hesitation she had in placing her hand in yours, as well as the small grimace that she was obviously trying to conceal with a smile.

“Nice to meet you as well,” Bora replied. “Hobi showed me a photo of you but I have to say, it doesn’t do you justice.”

“Well, thank you,” you nodded towards her. “You’re quite the looker yourself. I hope Hobi hasn’t been working you too hard. I know he has a hard time knowing when to slow down. ”

“Oh no, he hasn’t thrown anything at me so far that I couldn’t handle,” Bora replied with a smile and you couldn’t help but to raise an eyebrow at her choice of words.

“Hobi, we should get going now if we want to make it to our favorite restaurant for dinner,” you told him and he nodded his head.

“You’re right. See you tomorrow Bora,” Hobi said.

“Bright and early,” Bora grinned.

“It was nice meeting you Bina,” you said.

“It’s Bora.”

“Excuse me?”

“My name,” Bora deadpanned. “It’s Bora, not Bina.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you bowed lightly towards her. “My honest mistake.”

“See you later Bora,” Hobi repeated before placing his hand on the small of your back and starting to lead you out of the building. “Bina? Really Y/N-ah?”

“Whatever,” you muttered. “You better keep an eye out for her.” Hobi just rolled his eyes, wrapping one arm around your waist as the two of you walked out of the building. Unbeknownst to the both of you, Bora watched the both of you the entire time, her stomach turning at the sight of Hobi’s arm around you.

“Fucking bitch,” she muttered underneath her breath before gathering her own things and leaving the building.

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aeori-o · 1 year

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2022 Get Outta Here

Last year I started my post by talking about COVID-19 and it is wild that that thing is still around and people STILL aren’t taking it seriously. I guess if people start off not taking something seriously there’s no reason to then take something seriously later as it has become the dreaded “new normal.” Awful. I’m moving to Pluto.

Let’s talk about the usual stuff, as is tradition.

I know I have that graphic for goodreads (and I now have a secondary goodreads for graphic novels so there’s two now) but worth mentioning is I also have a storygraph account if any of you are on there! Please friend me or however that works.

So far storygraph has some issues (sometimes the website seems to crash and nothing loads or things I do don’t save to my profile) and it looks a little barren (though goodreads doesn’t exactly look good, either) but I really like that there’s the ability to see the community submitted content warnings and that a book is ranked not just by stars but by things like pace, focus, and vibe. Also it’s not owned by amazon (which goodreads is) so that’s a bonus. For now I have both accounts but hopefully storygraph keeps getting better and can eventually replace goodreads for me (I think the main things is adoption—I still like to see what friends and acquaintances are reading and if they’ve read what I’ve read so that’s currently missing for me and the other main thing is a “books by authors you’ve read” section, it is so handy to have that in one place).

I finished 37 novels and 10 graphic novels this year which brings me to 47 total books! I am much preferring 30 minutes of reading a day over an hour, it’s much easier to commit to and much less stressful and I still get a lot read in a year. It also feels really good to be able to fully fill out one of these calendars (I think I’ve managed it for the past few years) which is also nice. I know the calendar is totally arbitrary but there’s something nice feeling about having something that shows how much you’ve done at a glance.

As always I would really recommend doing this, but you can make your goal completely different (it could be ten minutes of reading a day, or a chapter a day, or a certain number of pages a day. Start with something where the bar is on the floor to make it easy to get into!). Doesn’t even need to be reading! Can be exercise or learning something or creative stuff! Sometimes calendars can be hard to find where they’re easy to fill in, I just started making my own in excel (google sheets would work, too) but I’ll put in a blank one at the end jic anyone wants to try. Gotta make the barrier to entry as low as possible! Anyway here’s my reading one:

And then of course I love the little year-recap from goodreads!

Really enjoy that I manage to read a very barely read book on goodreads every year.

Again we’re up! This year my average has gone from 4.1 to 4.2 but still. I think overall I am reading better books. I’ve changed how I rate books on goodreads a little as well. I am in an eternal struggle with how ultimately meaningless rating systems are so I’m trying to rate things more on a scale of if-I-would-recommend-it and how many caveats I have with that. So more books wind up five stars than not. It feels much easier to rate things consistently, as well.

My own personal rating system (in my excel doc) tends to differ a little from how I rate things online (so despite rating Many books five stars this year only one book hit my favourites and most of those other five stars are in my ‘Excellent’, ‘Splendid’, and ‘Good’ categories. And then I have ‘Meh’, ‘Not Worth Reading’, and ‘Why does this exist?’). That’s just for me, and maybe friends, though.

So! Of the 37 books I read this year I’m going to once again recommend a few.

The Green Bone Saga by Fonda Lee

I recommended the first book last year and now that I’ve read the rest of the series I want to reinforce the recommendation: These books are thick, they’re door stoppers, and the first book is a little slow to start but once they get going they are phenomenal. Everything just goes, there are incredible high points in this series. I didn’t think the second book could be outdone but the third book did it. The series goes from conflicts inside a community to global conflicts that that community has to deal with and manipulate.

Basically: The series is about a family of ‘Green Bones’ (who are people who are able to control bioenergetic jade to enhance their strength, resilience, and speed) and how they deal with a territory war with another Green Bone Clan and eventually how they deal with foreign powers trying to extract and study bioenergetic jade for war purposes. Really great series.

Mistakes Were Made (But not by me)

by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson

This one is non-fiction but I found it incredibly interesting. Most of it I feel is things most of us kind of intuitively know just by existing in the world and dealing with people being infuriating (especially in the context of jobs and managers passing the blame) but it’s interesting seeing the research and the various ways it comes into play. I’m not sure if I’m weird but I also found it a very fast, easy read as well? It was just too interesting for me to find boring. So if you’re looking for an interesting non-fiction check it out!

Even Though I Knew The End by C.L. Polk

This is a novella so I can’t say too much without spoiling a lot but if you’re looking for a lesbian noir with magic, demons, and angels then definitely check this one out. The ending is maybe a little rushed but I loved the setting and the characters despite the very short amount of time with them (the curse of novellas).

The Daevabad Trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty

I didn’t actually like the first book at all! There were a lot of things in the first book that bugged me but I felt compelled to read the second anyway. I saw this book all over the place (and heard about it all over the place) and I have a thing for seeing djinn in books and media. Despite my issues there were nuggets of potential in the first book. And then the second book was shockingly good and I devoured the rest. A very fun fantasy romp about family and duty and the things we choose and how hard and disastrous it can be to try and do your own thing.

I especially liked the fourth book though which is a collection of short little scenes with various characters. They weren’t short-stories exactly they were just things that either didn’t fit in the main series or ultimately no longer belonged in it with how things went but I really enjoyed reading it. It felt very nostalgic and I wish more authors would do something similar. I don’t necessarily want plots and entire side stories to see more of characters sometimes I just want to see little things with the characters. I know that’s what a lot of people use fanfiction for but I’d love it from the original author. Really delighted by these and I’m really glad the publisher went for it! This kind of thing could easily have never seen the light of day or, best case in most instances, been relegated to some dusty page on the author’s website.

A lot of the other books I would recommend are parts of a series so I won’t get into them now, but I’m keeping an eye on Iron Widow, Children of Ragnarok, Book of Night, and Not Even Bones. Most of those don’t have sequels out yet, but one of them does so hopefully I can recommend it on next year’s round up.

Additionally some friends and I pass around books and write in them, and so far our library has six books in it! (There’s more on stand-by but they haven’t been written in yet.) It’s such a fun thing to do and makes some truly terrible books fun to read. One of the series we’re reading we’re hoping gets better (as promised by the fans of that series) and we might be adding the series that inspired that series to the list. (I am being intentionally vague.)

Once again I’m going to keep my goal at 30 books, half an hour of reading a day (catch up days allowed). I have enjoyed being much more relaxed about reading. Unlike last year I currently only have four books out from the library (instead of last year’s thirteen) but that said I think all the books I read last year (including the graphic novels) except for four were from the library. So out of 47 books (total) 43 were from the library. I love the library, but I also need to get a proper start on my owned to-be-read pile. Once I’m through these four books I’m going to try to only take out a library book for every owned book I finish. So hopefully I can at least make it half and half.

But! Here’s the ten graphic novels I read! One of which I own. I really enjoyed all of them and can happily recommend them all. Lore Olympus I finished the second volume and for whatever reason was just hooked and binged the rest online. Heartstopper is also really cute and sweet, I tried a little bit of the show and it wasn’t doing it for me but I am so, so happy it exists I’ve seen that it means a lot to a lot of people (but I’ll stick with the graphic novels).

Film and TV I finished 45 things this year, which so far it seems like I watch a fairly consistent amount of stuff? 2020 my count was 43, last year was 41, this year is 45! Funny how that works out. Some of my highlights from this year are old goodies—we just recently watched the first two Lord of the Rings films (we were trying to marathon but it did not work out), and I re-watch Ghibli films periodically, but of the things I had never watched before? Everything in the image really stands out for me.

Love and Leashes was just incredibly cute, another delightful Korean film. I forgot I had watched that this year so I’m glad I’ve started tracking this stuff because this movie is just really cute. It’s on Netflix and I would wholeheartedly recommend checking it out!

Turning Red made me cry, and then when I walked in on family watching it I almost just cried again just knowing what scene they were on (they did not feel very invested in the movie so it was kind of awkward).

Everything Everywhere All At Once was incredible. I know everyone is saying that and has been saying that but if for whatever reason you haven’t watched it it is really good. It feels really ‘fresh’ in a way? It’s unhinged but also sincere, I really liked it.

Severance was really creepy and tense, and yet somehow very compelling despite the monotony of the environments the characters spend most of their time in. I’m so curious to see where it goes it ended on such a tense note.

Our Flag Means Death was a really heartwarming romp, I think the first few episodes I wasn’t crazy about but it got very good very fast and it also had a very tense ending.

Nope I watched twice back to back (and then a third time some months later to show family). It’s such a fun movie and there’s a lot to interpret and talk about in it, I think this is my favourite Jordan Peele movie yet.

And finally: House of the Dragon though this one is on thin ice. There’s a lot of weird and uncomfortable things in this series, which I guess is to be expected, but overall I found it really interesting and that last episode, hoo boy. I want to see it develop and I am hoping it does not go the way of Game of Thrones but I guess we’ll see.

Video games!

Okay so Nintendo sent me my yearly recap weirdly early this year? And then Steam just sent one. The steam one is very fun.

Unfortunately the Nintendo one this year didn’t have that much info? Last year it gave total games, for how many hours, and even compared the previous year and because the switch doesn’t have the built-in tracker anymore (like the 3DS has) I can’t even check myself. Like I know I played my Switch for at least 130hrs this year in total (compared to 23 total hours last year) but that’s just looking at the games I know came out this year so I could have only played this year (being Arceus, Scarlet, and Splatoon 3) but for games I’ve played in the past like Shield, Pokemon Snap, Okami, Smash Bros, etc. I only can see total time, not time spent this year. I still really miss the tracking the 3DS has. Oh well at least Steam has an in-depth one this year:

I love to see random little facts!! I’m surprised I hit even 20% with controller to be honest, I feel like I almost exclusively used keyboard and mouse this year.

As you can see: I love to play new games.

AND THIS is the kind of thing I like to see! I think that drop of in gaming is more or less universal across all platforms for me.

Okay so here’s everything I started this year and have yet to finish:

And I actually am feeling very optimistic about finishing all of these! Two (Haunting Ground and Fahrenheit Indigo Prophecy) I’m playing for friends and both have been very fun to stream. One is a genuinely good game and one is Fahrenheit Indigo Prophecy (which is very fun to experience with friends but oh it’s not good, it is especially bad on PC because this “remaster” is garbage. I said RE4 on PC last year was bad but it’s an amazing port compared to this one.)

Haunting Ground is still a really delightful game. It makes me miss the days of costumes being fun unlockable bonuses instead of DLC. I’m mostly impressed (so far) by how good the game is at making sure you always know where to go despite how otherwise cryptic the plot is. The only time I’ve gotten lost/stuck was when I unlocked the room, ran into the stalker immediately in that room and ran, and then I guess I got startled so badly that the newly unlocked room just deleted itself from my short term memory. So that’s on me, not the game.

Pokemon Scarlet I’m chugging along steadily in (despite my many, many problems with the game) and Pokemon Legends Arceus I was thoroughly enjoying but the controls were too similar to Horizon Forbidden West so I’ll get back to it once I’m done Horizon. But hoo boy Horizon is taking a while. I know there’s a large group of people who want more game-play-time for their dollar and I largely disagree with that idea in general but this game is wild in that I am enjoying all the time I’m spending in it but also kind of exhausted by how huge it is.

The only one here I might not finish anytime soon is .hack, because I started playing it with Vin and would like to continue showing them it.

I think of all the games in my Unfinished Picture from last year the only one I actually finished was Tell Me Why—Dishonored I still kind of pick at, Pokemon Snap I haven’t gotten back to despite meaning to, Resident Evil Village I want to continue but haven’t gotten to either, same goes for Resident Evil 5. And Prey I officially decided I was done with. So I’m much more optimistic about finishing this year’s batch of unfinished games.

And with Hades 2 being announced I extra want to get back to and finish the first Hades (I got to the credits but I need to do everything).

And then the games I DID finish this year:

All but one of these I played for/with friends! (Steph did most of the playing of Fatal Frame 3, though.) I finished up Tell Me Why on my own but all the rest were friend-experiences! Disco Elysium is unhinged (we would all lay down our lives for Kim). Lighthouse I have thought was “the dark beginning” forever and only right at the end of our play-through did I realize it was “being” not “beginning” and it was also entirely wild. Fatty Bear’s Birthday Surprise was charming and also kind of a lot. And then Pajama Sam in No Need to Hide when it’s Dark Outside was surprisingly well-written and charming? The last two games took almost no time to play all the way through (despite them being huge time sinks when I was a kid) but they hold up really well! Very intuitive, simple puzzles (which makes sense for a kid’s game but is still fluid-feeling as an adult as opposed to escape-room-esq logic puzzles ‘adult’ puzzle games require) and very fun writing that actually got some laughs out of us at points. Good stuff, we’re excited to play more from Humongous Entertainment.

I did start another fill-in-the-squares calendar in June. It mostly came from days feeling like they blur together and I couldn’t really remember what I had done on certain days and wasn’t sure if I had done anything “productive”. I’m really good at warping my own memory to downgrade the things I do so I tried to start marking off when I did anything, at all, that I consider some sort of productive. So that could be cleaning, writing, helping my sister with something, or one of the various little side-projects I take on. I haven’t been super consistent with it, I keep forgetting to fill in days, but overall it has been really helpful for even if I don’t remember what I did I can look back and see all the filled in squares and be sure I did at least something that I consider worthwhile. I just keep a little list under it of kind of ‘ongoing’ things that count or add on things that I finished and that has, in turn, made it easier to remember some neat stuff I did this year!

There’s two major ones but first: I really got into re-shelling controllers last year. Unfortunately I’ve kind of run out of controllers to re-shell. I did get to take apart a friend’s joycon recently to put in a new analogue stick to stop that pesky drift but otherwise I don’t do much shell-stuff these days.

But I did wrap my entire car.

Before and after! Steph helped me with the hardest parts (the bumpers and roof) and my stepmom helped with some bits (which, despite our struggles, she says she’s glad she did because she never would have understood how much work I was putting in otherwise) and my partner helped a little with the doors when they were visiting! I’m especially happy with the headlights. I ground all the UV damaged plastic off, polished them up, and then put a clear, glossy, paint-protective film over top. They look brand-new! I love seeing side-by-sides of the lenses before and after. I used to think the ‘before’ state of the lenses looked good! Wild! Some people have lamented the colour (a lot of people really like bright red cars?) but I love the blue/purple colour shift and my clear-coat was coming off anyway (she’s an old car) so I had to do something to protect it. Bless and curse the co-worker who talked me into this (bless because I love it, curse because it was hard as hell).

I haven’t posted progress shots in one big block anywhere so I’m gonna do that here! And then I realized there were just WAY too many progress shots so here’s just a few:

I mostly like the super wrinkly shots and then seeing it all smoothed out, it’s so satisfying (the work in between those shots is brutal) like these (with a mid-lens-fixing thrown in to see a polished one next to what I had before for funsies):

It was so satisfying to have this come together and I am so happy with how she looks. I am extremely grateful to everyone who helped me along the way, some pieces would have been impossible with just one person (and in the case of the roof that seemed impossible even with two people). Considering it was my first time doing this and I was working in less-than-ideal circumstances (being: outside, where bugs and dust and leaves and weather are an issue) I think it turned out extremely well.

I think when I counted the actual total days this took it was like 11-14? I had work, and then we kept getting rain (the day we did the front bumper it actually rained in the middle of the day so in retrospect I’m amazed that one came together). I also did a little on some other cars. My stepmom’s car is also old so we did some protective stuff where the paint was having a hard time, did the hood of my sister’s car and her lenses as a birthday gift, and then did a co-workers car because its clear coat was having a really rough time. Lots of wrapping! I should redo this one in 4ish years (or that’s what the vinyl manufacturers say, anyway) so we’ll see how it goes.

I also made my dice displays nice this year. At some point I had gotten a shot-glass display to put my dice in, but it wasn’t the nicest looking. Better than having them not on display at all but not by much. For whatever reason I can’t find a proper picture of how it looked before but:

And then once the glass was closed on top of that the ones in their cubes were pretty obscured and the other dice just, didn’t look great in their heaps. So I got some foam core, some washi tape, and a box cutter and spruced it up:

Which I am super happy with! I was so happy with it I got a second one and fitted it the same way. It’s especially nice for my glow in the dark dice, I get to see them glow every time I turn the lights off now.It was a very time consuming little project but I’m really happy (and kind of amazed) at how it came together!

In terms of my more regular creative pursuits I didn’t really write anything creative except to completely re-structure a book series I was reading. It went from me ranting to just completely unhinged going IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS and then I rewrote a scene from the book based on that premise. That was fun. I still need to touch that up and edit it some but then I fully intend to rip the book open and rebind it with my addition. (It’s one of our pass-around-and-comment-in books.) Still RPing, of course, and it’s a mix of god/furry Anir and Lelia with some modern Lelia and my spirit-folk thrown into the mix. And I didn’t really do much drawing this year but I did do a little to help my sister with some stuff. And that’s better than nothing! I will post none of that here, though.

Once again, though, I have been extremely blessed to receive some wonderful art!

Art by @monsterranchersteph,@phantomeus, and @auyamx!

Hopefully 2023 proves to be better than 2022! I’m ending the year with a cold (not COVID, luckily, though I did have that during the summer and it was awful. I can only imagine how much worse it would’ve been if I weren’t vaccinated.) which I’m not sure is a great summary of the year but it’s unusual for me to get sick twice in one year. Having just a regular cold is surreal, though, the last two times I got sick (COVID and then some sort of flu) were both completely terrible, so having just kind of a stuffed up and runny nose, a teeny cough (like, barely), and then just extreme fatigue is more of an annoyance than anything. I am very glad to not be that sick but I also forgot very mild sickness is a thing. (And it’s annoying.)

Anyway, as stated above I’m going to keep my reading goal the same this year as last. 30 books, half an hour reading a day with catch-ups allowed. I’m going to try to get into the habit more of using my other general ‘productivity’ calendar because I have been finding that helpful for my mental health if nothing else. And if anyone else wants to try these calendars here’s the one I’ll be using:

And I think that’s it! Happy new year! If you make any sort of yearly round-up or recap and you’ve made it this far please let me know and I’ll check it out! I am not consistently on tumblr so I miss stuff all the time. I log on, I sigh and block/report the bots that have followed me, I see a little of my dash, I add stuff to my queue, and that’s about it. So please let me know or link me!

#new year get better do better

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polizwrites · 2 years

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Counting The Ways and Counting on You

This is a fill for today's @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt [#FFF166 Count the Ways] as well as my @tonystarkbingo Timeloops square.

Fandom: MCU/Marvel -- Pairing: Tony & Clint -- Rating: Teen -- Word Count: 1026

Clint knew that Tony Stark was eccentric - the rich guy equivalent of ‘pretty fucking weird’ - but he had reached new levels of weirdness this morning. First off - he was wearing one of the armor gauntlets as they gathered for breakfast in the common area of the Tower. Okay, maybe he was testing some new feature of the armor, which – considering the exhaustion plain on Tony’s face – was probably the result of an all-night engineering binge.

Secondly, he was muttering something under his breath; Clint turned up his hearing aid to try to catch what Tony was saying. “First come the scouts. You’ve got to get all seven before they can phone home. If not, then comes the rift - you’ll need Thor to tag team. Grab Barton first, though.”

The mention of his own name spurred Clint to action. “Uh, Tony? You okay?” He put a hand on Tony’s shoulder; he startled violently, nearly spilling his mug of coffee before turning his haunted eyes towards Clint.

“Yeah, I uh…” Tony trailed off; something his talkative teammate rarely did.

“You didn’t get much sleep last night, did you?” Clint kept his voice light; he didn’t want to sound like he was lecturing Tony. He’d seen how well that worked when Steve did it - in other words, not at all.

“Can’t remember the last time I got some shut-eye, to be honest,” Tony replied with a shrug. “But hold that thought and follow me.” He started heading towards the outside deck area despite the cool drizzly weather outside.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, Clint spotted something flying over the city skyline, moving fast right toward the Tower. Not just one something either - he counted seven. Tony quickened his pace, and so did Clint.

Although he could have sworn he’d taken his equipment back to his room after yesterday’s target practice, Clint spotted his bow and quiver leaning against the glass wall right next to the door, tucked up under the overhang and out of the weather.

Tony was already firing blasts from his gauntlet at the weirdly-shaped drone-things heading their direction “Oh good, you found your stuff,” he called out over his shoulder. “Take the ones on the south side, would you?” Clint shot down two of them, but the third one disappeared right before his eyes. Tony cursed bitterly from behind him. “I really thought we’d get them all this time.”

Clint noted it was the second time Tony had used that phrase. “What do you mean ‘this time’?”

“I’ll explain later, I hope,” Tony answered grimly. “Go get Thor and meet me on the roof. You should have five explosive arrows. Use them wisely.”

By the time Clint and Thor made it to the top of Avengers Tower - thankfully, Thor didn’t ask for any explanation, because Clint had no idea what to tell him – Tony was wearing his full Iron Man armor and shooting two continuous beams of energy at what looked like a tear in reality, its edges glowing an eerie green around a pitch black void. “Okay Point Break,” Tony shouted, “unleash the fury of the skies right where I’m aiming.”

Thor held his hammer above his head and Clint’s skin started to prickle; hoping his rubber-soled sneakers would provide enough grounding, he pulled out one of his Big Boomer arrows, and sent it right at the widest part of the rift. The moment it was in the air, he had another ready to go, but a great flash of lightning shot out from Thor’s position, temporarily blinding him.

His vision cleared a moment later, and not only was the rift gone, but the rest of the team had joined them on the roof, looking around in confusion. “Well done, my friends!” Thor cheered. “Unless I miss my guess, that was a portal to Muspelheim, ruled by Asgard’s sworn enemy, Surtur. If any of his fire demon minions had broken through –”

“I know… trust me, I know.” Tony panted, having opened his faceplate. “Chaos and carnage. Death and destruction.” He stumbled as he stepped down from the edge of the building, nearly falling before Thor caught him.

“Tony, what in the hell is going on?” Steve asked. Clint was wondering as well; clearly Tony knew something the rest of them didn’t.

“You want the long answer, or the short one?” he answered wearily.

“Short for now.” Clint broke in, knowing that Steve would want every detail. “We can wait for the long answer til you’ve gotten some rest.”

“Okay. Basically, I was stuck in a timeloop.”

“A time loop?” Steve repeated with a skeptical look.

“Yeah - those scout thingies showed up and buzzed around the tower. Then a time-space rift ripped open the sky and magma monsters burst through, followed by their boss. Probably that Surtur you mentioned, Thor. Giant glowy guy with horns and a flaming sword, right?” Tony waved vaguely. “They took everyone out, every damn time. But that Surtur bastard saved me for last. The moment he killed me, everything started over.”

“How many times, Tony?” Clint’s heart clenched at the thought of fighting, losing his teammates and then dying not once, but over and over.

“I don’t even know anymore,” Tony shrugged. “Dozens of times, maybe?”

“I apologize that I did not sense whatever magic held you in its clutches, my friend.” Thor was genuinely distraught, Clint noted; perhaps he suspected his brother had something to do with Tony’s plight.

“Not your fault, big guy.” Tony patted Thor on the shoulder “And now that the spell is broken, I’m gonna go sleep for - oh, maybe a month or so.” As they made their way back inside, Clint fell into step next to Tony.

“Why’d you pick me to help?”

“You’re our marksman and the best choice for downing the scouts.”

“Was this the first time you brought me in?” Clint asked, not sure what answer he wanted to hear.

Tony shook his head. “Afraid not. But it is the first time you had explosive arrows to work with. That made the difference. Thank you.”

“Pretty sure that was thanks to you, Tony,” Clint replied warmly. “Now go get some sleep.”

#writing stuff #fanficlet #flash fiction friday #mcu/marvel #Tony Stark #Timeloops #Clint Barton #Shameless Self Promo

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altermay · 2 years

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Watched this movie last night, its classified as a horror movie but its not THAT scary, I will say it definitely kept me nervous lol and there were some visuals in it that were pretty creepy, But I wouldnt consider it as strictly horror. (Not that its a bad movie its just not primarily a horror imo) I would consider it a coming of age with certain horror elements

I did enjoy it though, it has a really nice aesthetic to it, so if youre into aesthetics (particularly indie sort of aesthetics) I think you should give it a watch for the visuals and music alone (the music was done by Alex G by the way)

The actress who plays the main character Casey is actually really good in my opinion. She plays this awkward constantly online teenager, and honestly I think she really sells the character well, there were moments in which I felt like the character was hiding emotions that I could feel, and I feel like thats something that would be tough to do. Its also her debut role, the actresses name is Anna Cobb and I hope to see her in future movies. I cant say too much without spoiling, and I dont want to spoil because I do think you should give this movie a watch if you have some free time and an HBO Max subscription.

Honestly I think it has a good storyline as well, its nothing too incredibly crazy but its solid. (If youre like me, and like to watch movies without knowing anything about them, skip past this part because Im gonna talk about the plot a little bit) The story follows Casey, a very online teenager making videos in her attic bedroom (so jealous btw I love attic bedrooms) she begins to participate in a supposed online horror role-playing game/challenge called The Worlds Fair Challenge, she video documents the changes that may or may not be happening to her.

(Done talking about the specific plot) Its a solid premise in my opinion and honestly, compared to most movies, they sorta got the internet pretty accurate, the atmosphere of the movie really does just feel like a kid in her room making youtube videos,

However that does lead into my next point, because of the realistic vibe it has, the pacing is pretty slow, and some scenes can feel a bit drawn out (it might have just felt that way because I was high though so I might have to rewatch it sober) but that- and the fact that the very end was a little anticlimatic (but also kinda creepy in its own sense? Maybe that was just me lol iykyk) is about my only complaints with the movie. Also the camera work made me motion sick at some parts because it is filmed with a handheld camera at times (because yknow. Youtube videos and all) but thats just me, I get motionsick really easily.

The movie goes back and forth between telling the story through youtube videos and also telling the story through character perspectives, its interesting but it works well, in a way it almost gave me the same vibe as marble hornets, it had a homemade/indie/found footage vibe to it. So if youre a fan of found footage Id say to check it out

TLDR

Things I likeed about the movie:

-it has a good familliar midwestern sort of vibe to it

-great acting from Anna Cobb

-solid story, solid twist

-wonderful aesthetic+music

-handles certain topics such as mental health well

Things I didnt like

-scenes that go on for a little too long

-slow pacing

-somewhat of an anticlimatic ending

-it had some really good ideas for horror elements, I just wish it had pushed them further and really gone hard with the creepy bits

Tbh Id rate it 7.5/10 and Id recommended anyone in my age range (gen z, millennials) to watch it, people who are older probably wouldnt get a lot of the internet specific stuff haha

#montes movie posts #long post #movie review #horror movies #horror movie #horror movie review #we are all going to the worlds fair #horror #indie horror #indie horror movie #alex g #indie #indie aesthetic #aesthetic

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staciass · 6 months

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Ok So I’ve been putting this off for so long but I’m gonna get this down so I can move on (I can’t even remember the name of the 2nd book right now but…)

Ok so I’ll start with my rating. So I actually went into this semi-spoiled because of Reddit but I wanted to like this. Wanted to love it as I previously read A Court Of War & Ruin by SJM. Anyway I think it’s a 3 star book for me.

Wow so much to say about this I did like it but to get (plot wise) from the beginning to the end it could have been done just so so much better.

Ok the rest is spoilers cause yeah.

I started out writing note’s because I loved JLA so much from her Sci-Fi and Paranormal Romance books and kinda assumed her doing Fantasy Romance was gonna be amazing.

It wasn’t.

Ok so if you’ve read JLA before you can see she sort of kept this “paranormal romance” structure that all her books have. Which if you like paranormal romance is cool but in fantasy romance it did not work. She over explained the wrong things and we barely got enough explanation of the important stuff like her lore just wasn’t there.

When you write fantasy (romance/adventure/whatever) you have to tell the reader about this world you create. With this it’s like she expected us to already know a lot the world building before hand because she gave us tiny little crumbs of information at a time which can be done with fantasy books but if done right. You need enough so we know what is happening to an extent but not too much that we already know everything. I felt this was because in her paranormal romance books it’s mostly set in our world with her only having to explain her own created races or towns so she’s not used to building up an entire world.

Her romance writing though was on point. So good I love that about her she makes us really need these characters to interact more which is what I felt early on with Hawk and Poppy.

The plot (bigger plot) just didn’t come together for me. I didn’t care when her guard died (not enough anyway!) and I ended up skipping a lot of passages so went to audio hoping it’d be easier to get through. Nope.

Anyways the fantasy aspect was not it! The wolves are known as “wolven” and just spelled vampires differently. Idk felt sort of lazy the only reason I bumped it to 3 stars was the ending it did make me want to grab the 2nd book even if her writing was unevenly paced and clunky at times what can I say I stayed for the romance but will return to see what they do with Poppy and Hawke/Castael now.

Annoying but almost in a sweet way. I would say to JLA she can write romance but maybe she should have stuck to contemporary/Paranormal.

#fbaa series #fbaa #fbaa fanart #fbaa spoilers #reading #fantasy books #book review #my reviews

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jeonqkooks · 2 years

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Jen! I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling bad about your writing output mostly because I've been spending so much time recently thinking about how incredible you and the other fic writers on here are that you can produce as quickly as you do! I've been working on my first for a couple months (though I've had the general story idea for literal years) and figured I'd have it done by mid/end of July and here we are and I'm maybe at 20% completion 🙃 So please don't feel bad! 2-3 weeks is AMAZING and I personally love when writers publish at that rate because I'm super busy so it gives me a good amount of time to read between fics without feeling overwhelmed by content 💜💜

the first idea that i’ve ever had for a bts fic started in december and right now i’m still in the outlining phase for her so we’re in the same boat 😭 but thank you for sending me this, it’s so kind of you Ari 🥺 it’s smth i think about from time to time cuz i see all these writers posting 15k’s after 15k’s like damnnn, how do y’all do that 😭 but yeah i’m trying to be better about it cuz everyone has their own pace (but sometimes i see my readers get excited about stuff n i don’t wanna keep them waiting for too long yk :(((). and i do get what you mean about the influx of content, i haven’t had time to read in a while now and the amount of fics that are on my to-read list are just growing day by day it’s dizzying 🤧

#wintaerbaer #answered

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nctsworld · 3 years

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the yuletide boyfriend

SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ your one wish this year is to not be single during the holidays. yangyang, as your best friend, takes it upon himself to be your temporary boyfriend. soon enough, both parties begin to wish this new arrangement could last beyond the holidays. // part of the x-mas in ncity collection WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ implied ‌anxiety attack (during the first part of dec 24th – skip if need to), smut, mutual m*sturbation, couch s*x, angst, miscommunication, swearing RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ mature TAGLIST ⇾ @infnteen

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ this is my longest fic to date and also... might be my worst b/c i feel like the angst plot points don’t really make sense... but i hope y’all still enjoy!!!

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t share or repost without credit!

NOVEMBER 30th

“So, anything special on your wishlist this year?”

Your best friend, Yangyang, asks you as you two sit next to each other on one of the many plush lounge couches in the Psychology building. It’s the usual lunch spot where you meet with him during your break between lectures.

The Psych building held much sentimental value for both of you because you met in Psych 101 during first year. Fast-forward three years later, neither of you expected to be the close friends that you are today.

Chewing your sandwich, you ponder on his question for a bit. Through the transparent glass walls leading to outside, you see the trickle of students heading towards the building since class is about to start for the noon round of lectures. A couple, you assume by the tight hand-holding and nose kissing, giggles as they enter the building, glued to one another by the hip.

“Not really.” You drop your head downward to your lunch container, smiling to yourself. “I’m honestly just happy to have Mark in my life, especially at this point in the year.”

Yangyang nods in accordance and smiles too, understanding the story behind your sentiment.

The boyfriends you’ve had since first year have always broken up with you before the holidays, right before the end of November. Since you only became close during second year, Yangyang’s been around for two out of three of your cursed holiday break-ups.

To have Mark, your latest boyfriend, be with you and it being already December tomorrow, it was truly a blessing for you and a silver lining that maybe this was the year to break the curse. Yangyang was grateful too, wanting you to have the utmost happiness.

You take another bite of your sandwich and tilt your chin toward the ramen eater.

“You?”

Yangyang slurps a few more noodles before he answers.

“I mean, the new Playstation would be nice,” he hums, mouth full.

Pointing the tip of your sandwich, you joke, “I’ll get it for you, but only if we share custody over it.”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head during a mid-slurp. “You know I can’t promise that.”

Both of you laugh in unison, living in the calm before the oncoming storm.

DECEMBER 5th

The E-Sports club for the university is hosting a party tonight and because Yangyang’s on one of the professional teams, he asked a few weeks ago if you and Mark wanted to attend. Of course you accepted; Mark also had some friends in the club.

However, when you text Yangyang in the afternoon, stating a change of mind, he knows something’s off.

Half an hour before the party starts, Yangyang decides to visit you. Thankfully you both lived on campus, but even if you lived across town, he’d still bus out to see how you were doing. He does it all the time to visit his family, anyway.

In the living room, the two sudden knocks at your door startle you. Peering through the peephole, you see the usual sight of your best friend, his lips curled upward and thumbs tucked in his pockets as he rocks on the balls of his feet.

It feels like an eternity for him when you unlock your door. The hinges squeal as you open it hesitatingly, your face barely appearing through the agape crack.

Immediately, his smile dissolves. Your face is drained and blood-shot eyes avoiding his own confront him.

Yangyang has only seen you cry twice in the three years he’s known you:

Once, when you were freaking the fuck out over potentially failing a course (but, on the upside, you ended up passing the final to save your grade).

The second time was at his house for a family dinner, when his mom accidentally added too much hot chili sauce to her homemade beef noodle soup (let’s just say you weren’t the only one crying that night).

Those were tears of dread and physical discomfort.

But this… this was crying he’s never seen from you before. His chest collapses inward, fearful of the reason behind your tears.

His voice shakes as he asks, “What happened? Are you okay?”

Neither of you are major huggers and only exchange them on the rare occasion.

However, this situation screams the necessity of it, so Yangyang lunges towards you, the collision swinging the door out of the way. His arms embrace you like a large, warm blanket. Comforting and safe.

Despite the affection, emptiness has taken over your body. Tonight, you’re a dead, empty shell of who you normally are.

You feel weak to the bone, but you muster up enough energy to scarcely raise your arms over his back to return the hug. Your eyes are dry from all the crying you’ve done all day, but apparently you have more tears left in you to spare.

Your eyelids snap shut and your jaw clenches.

“Mark broke up with me.”

Your words are muffled into his shoulder, but Yangyang hears it crystal clear.

You break down, sobbing out of control over the statement.

As aforementioned, Yangyang’s been around for your last two, now three, break-ups. Sure, he’s aware of how grumpy and distant you can get, but you never cried in front of him. You made an effort to never have him see you at your lowest point.

And yet, here you are, drowning him in your misery. Guilt washes over you for drenching his bomber jacket, but Yangyang couldn’t give two shits. His arms squeeze tighter while he rubs your back tenderly.

After several minutes pass and your waterworks abate, you peel away from him. You sniffle and rub your nose with the back of your hand.

“Sorry about cancelling last minute.”

“Hey, no need to apologize,” he whispers soothingly.

“I’m just… so fucking frustrated.”

With fatigued eyes, you drag yourself back inside your apartment. Yangyang discreetly closes the door behind him and hurriedly uses his feet to push off his shoes. As he does so, your mouth begins to run off while you slowly pace around aimlessly.

“Fucking done with boyfriends, especially when they think it’s so fucking awesome to keep breaking up with me right before the holidays.”

He kicks off his last stubborn shoe and catches you raking your hands through your hair, pulling it back firmly. Your lips are trembling, along with your entire frame.

“Like I get that I’m horrible and needy and emotional—”

His mouth opens, wanting to cut in to disagree with you with all his heart, but he clamps it back shut and swallows, allowing you to blow your steam off.

“—but can’t they wait until the fucking new year? I don’t know, or maybe just don’t date me in the first place! I don’t know, I don’t fucking know anymore. I’m just cursed, Yangyang...”

You flop down onto the couch and sink into the ocean of shiny pleather, shutting your eyes and trying to stop crying for the nth time. The deep sting behind your eyelids pain you, but it pains Yangyang more to watch the events unfolding ahead of him.

Unsure of what to say, Yangyang walks around the room. His gaze falls on your laptop screen and he frowns at the mostly bare Word document that stares back at him:

“WISHLIST: -KEEP ONE (1) FUCKING BOYFRIEND DURING THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!!!!!! GOD FUCKING SDKMFLDS”

There are a few more lines below it with more profanities and keyboard smashing. He quickly darts away, a pang of guilt striking for invading your privacy.

Then, he turns to you on the couch again. You’re now covering your eyes with your forearm, pressing your lips together. His chest twists and his throat is arid as a desert.

You’re in shambles and he’s dying to pick up the shattered pieces of you, wants to glue you back together. On a regular basis, Yangyang’s a talking machine and can talk your ear off for hours, but right now, he doesn’t know what to say to you in your current state. He second-guesses himself, wonders if he’s even that great of a friend if he can’t comfort you in your worst times.

Blowing out a long sigh and removing your arm, you speak aloud, “You should get going to the party.”

Like awakening from a deep slumber, you rise up sluggishly and sit up on the couch, slouched over. The other figure in the room steps closer to you.

“Sorry about your jacket, by the way,” you say. Your body is still, but your glazed eyes move to the dark spot on the middle of his shoulder. He glances at it and shrugs.

“It’s better like this anyway,” he says with a gentle smile, and the tight knot in his heart softens at the flicker of your own smile, albeit a small one. Unfortunately, it fades in a few seconds. “I don’t want to leave you like this, though.”

You stare at the used, crumpled balls of tissues scattered on the living room table. Some also ended up on the floor. Break-ups are shit and 98% inevitable, but you know you’ll eventually get over it. You always do.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

He raises an eyebrow, as if asking, “Are you sure?” The lack of a worded reply causes you to notice the question written on his face.

“Go,” you plead with a feeble laugh. “Have fun for me.”

Both of you head towards your front door again. Crossing your arms, you lean your head against the door frame and attempt a smile for your best friend.

“Thanks again for checking up on me.”

Yangyang nods with a half-smile, half-pout, “Of course.”

You give him a departing wave prior to sealing your door.

Usually, Yangyang would bus from your place to the student union building, where the party is being held. Instead, he zippers up his jacket and stuffs his fists into his pockets, opting to bear the early winter chill to walk his thoughts off. His blazing self-doubt burns at first, but he overcomes it by focusing on ideas to fix your accursed dating rut instead.

Halfway through the walk, a light bulb moment occurs. A plan begins to brew on the surface of his mind and he thinks on it for the rest of the week.

DECEMBER 11th

It’s been almost a week since you last saw Yangyang.

Finals started already, so classes were done for the semester and thus, your lunch meet-ups halted too. On top of that, since you were simultaneously moping and studying, you hadn’t really texted him much, nor had he, besides the occasional check-up text on how studying was going and random memes. Yangyang knew you preferred time alone to heal and he respected that.

He also thought six days was enough time to get yourself back on your feet.

Yangyang’s at your front door once again, but this time with two bowls of his mom’s beef noodle soup in tow.

“Long time, no see,” you greet. Your tone is chipper, but your eyes look heavy, which could be partially from studying, Yangyang thinks. His smile deepens, content that you seem a lot better than the last time he visited.

“Delivery for two,” he raises the bag in his hand.

“And if I told you I already ate dinner?” you playfully retort.

The boyish man shrugs defeatedly, “Then I’ll tell my mom you hate her cooking—”

“You didn’t say it was your mom’s, Yangyang. Oh, my God,” you gasp, half-mockingly. You rush to grab the bags out of his hand and stroll towards your tiny kitchen. “Start off with that next time.”

As you remove the containers from the bag and onto the granite countertop, Yangyang shuts the door and takes his shoes off.

“So, I’m gonna be upfront and say that I may have come here with a proposal.”

“Changed your mind about the shared custody of the Playstation?”

“I’m still considering that one.” Finally in his socks, he slings his backpack off his shoulder and plops it onto the couch along with his jacket. He stands next to you by the counter. “But it’s on the same page as that. Remember that day we were talking about wishlists?”

“Mm-hmm,” you hum as you rip off the lid of one of the bowls. Blatant wisps fly upward and you inhale the savoury aroma, followed by a heavenly sigh.

“Last time I was here… I might’ve seen what you wrote on your laptop.”

Your expression immediately changes into full-on cringe. You bring a palm over to your face.

“Oh, God. Let’s not talk about that. That was just weepy, lonely me talking.”

Yangyang pops off the lid for his bowl and steps into your kitchen, rummaging through your drawers for chopsticks. “So you’re telling me you don’t want a boyfriend for Christmas?”

Your hand flies off your face. Eyes widening, you spew, “Do you have a boyfriend in your pocket, ready for me to have?”

In your open hand, he places a pair of chopsticks into it. “Well, actually, I was thinking—”

Sternly, you point the chopsticks at him. “Don’t you dare set me up with your friends.”

He counters and points his at you, “Even better than that.”

With your interest piqued, you slide yourself onto the counter stool and mix the noodles around, anticipating to hear Yangyang’s fantastic plan. Your friend sits on the other stool, facing you. He pauses for a second, taking a deep breath.

“Why don’t I be your boyfriend for the holidays?”

You freeze, and the noodles’ drips above your bowl are deafening to both individuals. Laughing awkwardly, you break your frozen state to drop your chopsticks and turn your head to look at him.

Sputtering, you say, “What?”

Unnerved, his mouth pinches to one side, thinking maybe he shouldn’t have even said anything in the first place. This was stupid, so stupid, but it’s out in the open and Yangyang already dug his grave—he may as well lay in it.

“Well, for one, it’s something on your wishlist that I can easily get,” he pauses mid-sentence, glancing upward in thought. “Well, really, fill? Is that a better way to put it?”

He continues, eyes back on you, “And two, I’m not setting you up with a stranger or someone you wouldn’t be comfortable with. I assume you know me well enough that you’re comfortable around me?”

Yangyang lifts an upturned palm and raises an eyebrow, waiting for a response to his assumption. Petulantly, you shake your head playfully and stick out your tongue at him.

Rubbing the back of his neck, his gaze drops down to the floor for his last point. His voice lowers.

“And, I don’t know, we’d just hang out like we usually do during that time, except we’d do more couple-y things.”

Realizing the implication of his words, he widens his eyes. “I mean, we'll do whatever you’re comfortable with, obviously. We don’t have to do any of the physical stuff—”

You burst into a giggle at his rambling and hold a hand out, cutting him off. “Okay, Yang. I get it.”

Yangyang watches your next moves carefully. You’re peering off to one side and picking at the tips of your fingers. After a minute that feels like forever, you nod slowly.

“I guess you have a point. We are sorta like a couple already.”

Your best friend sighs in relief, grinning that you’re not outright rejecting the idea.

“So,” you meet his eyes and bunch a shoulder up towards your ear. “We’ll just be a couple until what, New Year’s?”

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugs indifferently. “Whatever you want. It’s your Christmas wish.”

You chuckle and shake your head in disbelief that you two are actually making an agreement for Yangyang to be your temporary, holiday boyfriend.

Honestly, it’s a little crazy... but maybe it’s the perfect thing to get your mind off of Mark and the handful of holiday exes hanging above your head.

“Okay, since my last final is on the 21st, let’s start ‘dating’ then and we’ll play everything by ear, see how it goes.”

Yangyang bobs his head eagerly. “Sounds good, soon-to-be girlfriend.”

He sticks a hand out for you to shake. You take it firmly, sealing the deal and flashing him a grin.

“Soon-to-be boyfriend.”

Although the night goes on like usual between the two of you, you couldn’t deny how ecstatic you are to finally have a boyfriend during the holidays, even if it was technically your best friend as a stand-in.

DECEMBER 21st

Tonight’s your first date with Yangyang.

That sounds weird to say, you admit to yourself, but it’s the truth.

After you stroll out of your last final of the semester, Yangyang’s waiting for you inside near the main exit of the building with several layers on, including his hoodie over his head and a knitted scarf underneath. His attention leaves his phone and he stuffs it into pocket as he notices you heading over.

“Hey, girlfriend,” he welcomes you, beaming.

You snicker at the unfamiliar label. You wonder if you’re going to get used to this, even if it’s only for two weeks.

“Hey, boyfriend,” you grin harder as the word falls from your lips, trying your best not to outright burst into laughter. “Where we heading off to?”

Although you said both of you could play the dating by ear, Yangyang’s been keen on scheduling plans for the upcoming days. You told him he didn’t have to, however, he insisted by saying that he wouldn’t only be a horrible boyfriend, but a horrible friend if he couldn’t make the next weeks fun for you.

Yangyang was anything but a horrible friend, and the fact that he was willing to be your holiday boyfriend to make you happy proved it further. Nevertheless, you gladly let him take the reins.

“I was thinking the movies tonight? See the latest Marvel film?”

Concurring to the idea, you scurry towards the bus stop and are movie-theatre bound to the nearest one off-campus. Arriving at the theatre, Yangyang and you buy your tickets and a popcorn to share, then head into the respective auditorium where the movie is playing. Since the movie’s been running for a couple of weeks, the auditorium is fairly empty, giving you two the chance to snag perfect middle seats with nobody else is in the row.

Up to this point, aside from the name-dropping of boyfriend and girlfriend, this feels less like a date and more like any other hang-out with him. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing awkward.

But that changes during a third of the movie.

You’re both so immersed by the screen that neither party notices the other’s hand when both of you reach for the popcorn in Yangyang’s lap at the same time.

A jolt runs through as your hands brush together. The duo’s eyes tear away from the screen and flit to the action happening in real-time. The touch lingers for several moments.

“Sorry,” you quickly mumble, drawing your hand back slightly, but still hovering over the popcorn.

“Uhm,” Yangyang licks his lips and visibly gulps under the screen’s bright glare.

He whispers, his voice almost cracking, “As your boyfriend, can I hold your hand?”

Okay, this is just your best friend, acting as your temporary boyfriend, asking to hold your hand. No big deal, no big deal at all.

Yet, the thunderous knocking in your ears, louder than the explosions blasting through the theatre’s speakers, suggests otherwise.

You don’t even register it, but you’re already nodding in response. Your breathing slows to the rate of Yangyang’s hand inching over. At the anticipated contact, you gasp softly. His smooth fingers clasp over yours. Since the arm rest in the middle of you is positioned upward, there’s no obtrusion and you relax, letting your hands mingle in between the empty space.

Without looking at one another, both of you smile bashfully to yourselves as you try to continue to focus on the screen.

After a while, because you aren’t exactly holding hands, you spread your fingers, hastily doing so because you don’t want him to think you’re breaking the interaction, and twist your palm to properly interlock hands with him. You give Yangyang’s hand a warm, gentle squeeze. He does the same and even strokes his thumb against your skin.

Talk about playing everything by ear. Who knew you’d be hand in hand on the first date?

You attempt to not think much on it, but Yangyang’s hand in yours feels... so right, like your hand was made for this, for his to hold. Like you should’ve done this way sooner.

And if Yangyang’s thoughts could be heard, he’s thinking the same.

Despite the mutual fear of sweaty palms, neither of you desire to let go, so much that you not only hold hands during the rest of the movie, but throughout the bus ride back to campus and all the way until he escorts you to your front door.

With a certain charge in the atmosphere, you exchange sweet good-byes. That night, after the culmination of stress from finals and your worries of your holiday exes, you finally have a peaceful sleep, looking forward to your date with Yangyang tomorrow.

DECEMBER 22nd

“Babe, how do I look?”

“Very pretty, honey.” A bundled up Yangyang winks at you from behind his phone.

The second date is an evening at a Christmas light festival at a botanical garden on the outskirts of town. The lights illuminate so strongly; there was a glowing dome-like hue over the location that seemed to reach the dark sky as you got off the bus.

When stepping foot into the garden, all the encompassing lights mesmerize you. Lights on the various greenery, lights as decorative art pieces, lights lining the pathways. Different shades of colours and shapes engulf the massive area.

Yangyang’s currently in the middle of taking your photo near an arch tangled with dark blue, gold, and white bulbs. All night long, you’ve been mockingly using endearing terms, but, despite the frigid air, your cheeks heat up over something else he just said.

“You think I’m pretty?” you genuinely ask, breaking your pose.

He lowers his phone a bit, his jaw dangling.

“Uh, I mean,” he giggles awkwardly, nodding softly. “Yeah.”

Yangyang never told you, but he initially sat near you in Psych 101 because he thought you were the most stunning girl in the class. And sure, he was a little disappointed at the time to find out you had a boyfriend, but that didn’t mean you two couldn’t still be friends. Other than the first few weeks he had a crush on you, he’s never thought of you as more than a friend.

But those feelings are resurfacing, hitting him in the chest like a bag of bricks, due to moments like this one—you’re batting your eyelids, gaze straying elsewhere, and adorably chewing on your lower lip.

“And you’re not just saying that as my holiday boyfriend?”

Pouting to one side, he shakes his head cutely. “Mm-mm.”

On the flipside, the beginning with Yangyang for you was strictly platonic. You were dating Haechan at the time you met him. When Haechan broke up with you later that fall, you kept a distance from dating for a while, heartbroken from the high school love gone sour. During that period, you never told him, but you did run through the possibility of dating Yangyang since you got along so well... until you met Jaemin earlier the next semester, who stole your heart. Ever since then, you’ve never seen Yangyang under that light again.

Despite that, you can’t deny how attractive he is, and now that you’re single and technically dating him, you embrace the fact with open arms.

Beaming as bright as the lights, you tug him by the end of his puffer jacket’s sleeve to bring him closer to you.

“C’mon, handsome, let’s take some pictures together.” Prickles rise under Yangyang’s cheeks from the off-hand compliment.

Holding your phone up in the air at about an arm’s length away, the side of your heads touch to prepare for a few selfies. When you finish capturing them, Yangyang’s hovering over your shoulder as you scroll through to glance through the photos.

“We look good together,” you comment. “Don’t you think?”

In sync, your heads turn to meet each other. Your eyes waver from the blatant clouds of your breaths and over to his lips. The clouds become rapid bursts as you begin to lean forward. So does Yangyang.

“Do you guys want a picture together?” someone suddenly asks. The abrupt voice drags you both apart instantly, crushing the moment into pieces.

“Sure,” you peep, fumbling to hand your phone over to the stranger.

Posing, Yangyang’s hand rests around the middle of your back, which is the norm when you take pictures with him, but he pulls you in snugly. You smile even wider, relishing in the new-level of intimacy and allow yourself to be truly content among his presence.

“You guys are such a cute couple,” the stranger gushes while they return your phone prior to walking away.

“I guess we are, huh, babe?” you jut your tongue out in jest at him. This time, you indulge in the endearing term without a sliver of mockery.

Yangyang copies you, jutting his tongue out further than yours, and seizes your hand to continue the tour around the gleaming garden.

The almost-kiss isn’t mentioned for the rest of the night, nor is it acted upon, but both individuals dwell on the near occurrence before sleep that evening, staring longingly at their bedroom ceiling.

DECEMBER 23rd

For the third date, you find yourselves at the campus’ dedicated ice rink arena to partake in ice skating.

You’ve skated a few times in the past, but you’re by no means a pro. On the other hand, this is apparently Yangyang’s first time, and he’s already skating circles around you.

“Show off,” you grumble as he does another lap past you. Your gloved hands are splayed out in front of you, careful not to fall flat on your face.

Turning on his blades, he rebounds over to you.

“Sorry,” he pants. His raised cheeks glow an adorable shade of pink. “This is really fun when you get the hang of it.”

Yangyang intertwines his fingers with yours before you can say anything. “C’mon, take my hand.”

At first, it was sweet to skate alongside your holiday boyfriend, notwithstanding the few times you almost trip. As the minutes pass, you think you’re getting the hang of it, but suddenly, Yangyang unleashes your hand and glides ahead of you, abandoning you to slide at a swift pace that is definitely out of your comfort zone.

“Yangyang, what the fuck?!” you screech, completely disregarding the handful of surrounding parents with their kids, the former sending daggers your direction. Your ankles struggle to make a T-shape to stop, but the struggling only somehow makes you move faster.

As he spins to face you, now skating backwards with ease, he says, “See, you got the hang of it-oomph—”

Air’s struck from his lungs when you crash into his body. Thankfully, Yangyang skids his blades harshly against the ice and is able to steady and support you within his arms.

“You little fucker,” you gripe, lightly punching him in the arm.

He chuckles blithely, “Sorry, but it was kinda funny, you gotta admit.”

You breathe a large huff, which makes you note how your hair is falling over your face after the catastrophe. You’re about to lift your hand to rearrange the strands, but Yangyang beats you to it and is in the midst of tucking them behind your ear.

The knocking in your ears reappears with a vengeance and the physical source of the knocking is thrashing violently against your chest.

Your scorching breaths fuse in the refrigerated rink as Yangyang eliminates the inches of space between, his plush mouth ultimately converging with yours.

You have to constantly remind yourself to breathe under Yangyang’s intensity, and remind yourself that you’re in a public space and shouldn’t be making out like this.

But everyone’s skating around the couple, daring to not disrupt the affectionate display.

God, you don’t know when was the last time you’ve been kissed like this. Have you ever even experienced a kiss that was a fraction of this? Yangyang daintily cups your cheeks like you’re glass, but his lips press ruggedly into yours, inflaming your entirety and melting any existence of your figurative fragility.

You ignore the echo in the back of your mind that reminds you he’s your temporary boyfriend.

The Talk will inevitably occur, but your future self could deal with it. Presently, you’re too caught up, drowning in Yangyang’s embrace.

DECEMBER 24th

On Christmas Eve, Yangyang decides to bring you to an outdoor Christmas market.

Understandably, since it’s the day before Christmas, the place is absolutely packed. For the first fifteen minutes or so, it’s joyous being immersed in the Christmas spirit with the assorted little shops and their respective products. You’re holding Yangyang’s hand tightly, pointing and half-shouting over the bustle about the items that catch your eye.

Unfortunately, someone accidentally bumps against your arms and your hand is gone from his.

Swivelling your head, searching through the crowd, it occurs to you that you officially lost Yangyang.

Your feet come to a halt as your hand attempts to dig into your jacket pocket to pluck your phone out, but the moving crowd forces you to constantly follow the stream.

You yell for him, but words can’t materialize. Your windpipe tightens. Your breath is becoming shallower and shallower. Blood pulses in your ears alarmingly, blocking out the clamour from around you. Your mind’s running everywhere without control.

Where is your boyfriend?

No, scratch that, he’s not your actual boyfriend—where is your best friend?

Did he leave you? He would never.

Right?

But what happens when all of this is over? Will you still have your best friend?

You’ve avoided The Talk long enough, but you didn’t expect to catch feelings for him. Not like this.

Maybe you’re just destined to be alone.

Is this how it feels to actually lose him?

Tears fight your vision. You hear a faint call of your name, but you can’t urge yourself to turn around, sinking only further into the sea of anonymity. You’re just a face in a crowd, all alone, with no one who cares—

Yangyang grasps you by the arm and maneuvers you aside to a less busy area behind one of the vendor stands.

“Oh, God, thought I lost you there—”

You cut him off, hugging him with all your might and stuff your face in his chest cushioned by the downy layers of his winter jacket. Yangyang immediately drapes his arms securely around you, reading your uneasiness.

“Hey, I got you. I got you,” he soothes, running a hand through your hair. “God, not my best idea. Sorry for bringing you here.”

You shake your head, wordlessly informing him that it’s okay. You’re just glad to be with him again.

“Wanna go home?”

You nod solemnly, and Yangyang zips you out of there in minutes with his arm tucked by your side, ensuring he doesn’t lose you in the crowd again.

Fortunately, the jitters mostly disappear when you arrive at your place in the late afternoon. You’re in the middle of rummaging through your keys to unlock your door.

“Sorry I didn’t have anything else planned for today,” he mumbles, leaning with folded arms against the wall.

“Did you...” You insert the correct key and turn the lock, clicking the door open. Your gaze lifts to match his. “Did you wanna maybe have dinner with me tonight? I was thinking of ordering pizza in.”

The grin that reaches his eyes is a sufficient answer for you.

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He hangs his arm around your shoulder and plants a kiss atop your head.

After chomping down pizza and playing a few rounds of Super Smash Bros. on Yangyang’s Switch, you peer over to him on your living room couch while he’s figuring out which character he should play next.

The little mental voice in the back of your mind prods you, reminding that you should really, really have The Talk soon. The Talk that you swept under the rug at the start by saying you’d play everything by ear.

Four dates later, and the thought of this ending scares the living daylights out of you. This not only including the interim relationship, but the dire possibility of the friendship itself too. Is it possible to go back to how you were, flipping it off like a light switch?

But the internal voice is smothered as you’re drawn to his pouting lips in thought. His pouting, oh-so kissable lips. Following the ice skating kiss yesterday, you only shared a good-bye kiss when he dropped you off. Since then, you’ve been itching to have his lips on yours again.

Yangyang eventually detects your lack of focus and finds you gawking at his mouth. Your gaze dashes to his eyes, blinking innocently, but then his eyes flicker to your mouth.

The tension in the room snaps. You two carefully throw the Switch controllers off to one side and attach yourselves together. Unlike the crashing of your bodies at the ice rink, this one is purposeful. Deliberated, as his forehead presses into yours and his tender caress carries your cheek. Your body plummets backwards until Yangyang pins you completely into the couch.

Initially, the lip-locking is gentle and mild. Your fingers lay in the vicinity of his angular visage and sturdy upper frame, in contrast to his hand curling around your waist in a light squeeze.

Soon, hands traverse to other regions—his back, your thigh, his stomach, your ass. Each touch seeking, craving, whining. Tongues slinking and dancing with appetite. Your bodies buzz for more.

Open-mouthed kisses transition from the damp lips to each other’s necks. The touches dig deeper, thriving with hunger. Your back bows, body curving into his. Grinding ensues and his robust desire is blatant against your own pulsing passion.

“You don’t happen to have any condoms on you, do you?” you groan upwards to the ceiling.

He retracts from your neck to swing his head side to side, grumbling a “Sorry, we can stop...” yet you interrupt his apology by cupping his covered length. The guttural groan he exhales into your lips makes you shiver with pleasure.

“Doesn’t mean we still can’t have fun with our hands...” you say slyly.

“Fuck yeah,” he rasps, smirking, before diving in again to taste your mouth.

Clothes are stripped with the assistance of each other, leaving you with only your bra on while Yangyang opts to be completely bare. He tops your body in the same position once more.

On the couch arm rest, your head is perched with his hand clutching the space next to it for leverage. Both figures are too scatter-brained to delve into the exquisite nudity of one another, hands flying desperately to your respective arousals.

Your pretty fingers wrap around his possession almost exactly when he dips two digits into your warmth. In unison, two sharp, quiet gasps pierce the room.

“Shit, you’re so wet,” he hisses observantly. You’re so overwhelmed by the bliss that you can’t assemble any sort of response.

Your mouth’s parted to one side, chest soaring with each plunge. Through his clouded vision, he ambles over your curves and lines and yearns to see your breasts, but he respects your choice of keeping it on and opts to ambush the expanse with kisses. Your chest is launched further into his mouth and Yangyang assumes you’re enjoying this.

Fearing friction burn, you drop him from your grip momentarily, swiping a few licks over your palm. When your hand pumps him again, now drenched with saliva, grunts reverberate against your skin.

“Yangyang?” you whimper, causing his face to pull away from the temple of your body.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m-I’m close.” And he can attest to it; the contractions around him are increasing, harshly squeezing his fingers.

“Same,” he pants.

Your best friend flicks his wrist with ignition, securing your waves of elation. You attempt to do the same, but it’s difficult when he’s also sloppily thrusting himself into your fist, so you simply clench your grasp harder. His features pinch and choppy moans dribble as he yields to his climax, gushing himself over your stomach.

Still sucking in lungfuls of air, Yangyang kisses you tenderly before removing himself to clean up the mess he made.

Following the clean-up, while putting on your clothes, Yangyang expresses how he should get going since it’s getting late.

“Did you wanna stay the night?” you pipe up.

His mind races, debating on whether to leave or not, anxious to blur the lines of your relationship even further.

Sure, he’s your temporary boyfriend, thus staying over at your place shouldn’t mean anything. But this agreement is ending next week, and he’s questioning if you two can stay just friends after this, knowing that he’s going to want more. Yangyang has had a taste of the what if, and it’s now irrevocable.

He wants you all for himself. Selfishly, but deeply.

For the sake of keeping this a great thing for you, he shoves his thoughts aside. This is all about you and for your benefit, anyhow.

“Uh, sure, I can take the couch like I always—”

“Yangyang, you just put your fingers inside of me,” you snicker, snagging him by the hand to your bedroom. “C’mon.”

The rest of the night is relatively chaste with some kisses and touches here and there. Eventually, you fall asleep facing each other with your fingers interlocked, excited for the big day tomorrow.

DECEMBER 25th

Normally on Christmas, Yangyang and you spend it with your respective families, but coincidentally, both of your families, your parents being retired and all, ended up vacationing this year, leaving the two of you to spend it with each other.

After getting up around noon, Yangyang heads to his place to grab his gift. He takes longer than you expected because, as it turns out, he also went home to grab baking goods he bought beforehand since he wants to make butter cookies with you today.

The cookies end up fine, but the mess is another story. Besides the chaos on the counter, your faces and aprons are splotched with flour (you swear he started it, but he disagrees and stands his ground that you’re the perpetrator). With a damp cloth, Yangyang aids you to clean, but not forgetting to wipe your face and giving you pecks over your cheeks and nose.

The baking and aftermath occupies most of the afternoon, so dinner comes in the form of fancy, romantic instant ramen for two. Afterwards, you two sit in your living room and start to exchange gifts.

Yangyang hands his over to you first. From the size of the gift and the crumpled, oddly-shaped wrapping, you already can guess it’s a stuffed plushie of a cute animal to add to your never ending collection. You hug it tightly with a large smile.

“It’s so cute, thank you!” you squeal, but you change your expression in an instant to a serious pout. “But you can’t steal this one like you did with my Ice Bear plushie.”

“Hey, I didn’t steal Ice Bear, I just forgot to give him back.” You roll your eyes sarcastically and he laughs. “I’ll bring him over tomorrow, if it makes you feel better.”

Then, when it’s your turn, you head into your bedroom and come out with a large, white shopping bag. His eyebrows raise, unsure of what could warrant a gift this size.

“For being my holiday boyfriend,” you grin, placing the bag in front of his feet.

Despite the hugest smile on your face, his heart sinks at the label for a second, but he blinks and wills himself to look inside the bag.

His eyes shoot open, so much that you’re scared you might have to stuff them back into his sockets.

Yangyang slips the box out of the bag with precision and stares at it speechlessly.

It’s the new Playstation.

He shifts his eyes toward you. You’re swaying on the couch, pleased by his reaction.

“Your parents paid for most of it, so I can’t take all the credit.” Sticking a finger in the air, you add, “You just gotta promise to share custody with me though—”

A hand behind your head yanks you into a deep kiss. He’s not the only one left speechless on the couch. He places the top of his head against yours.

“You’re crazy, but I love—” He quickly catches himself from saying something he might regret. “—I love it so much, thank you. Now I feel bad for getting you only the stuffed animal...”

You shake your head softly, brushing your thumb against his cheekbone.

“Thank you for everything.” Your eyes twinkle. “I couldn’t have asked to spend the holidays with anyone else.”

Carefully, like a newborn baby, he safely situates the boxed Playstation to one side and nabs your lips with his again. The scene feels like repeat of last night as your bodies wrestle passionately on the couch.

“Not to be presumptuous,” he mutters between the kisses upon your neck. Your eyelids flutter at the sensation. “But I also grabbed condoms from my place when I stopped by.”

His words sends the two of you leaping towards your bedroom. Under the dim lighting, you fall into the bed as Yangyang pares your layers off, one by one. With each peel, his lips roam the revealing bare skin. You swear he has kissed you from your literal head to toe when you’re fully nude in front of him.

Your companion drags his shirt over his head, throws it off to your floor, and immediately targets in onto your nub with his mouth, finally satiating his craving from last night.

Fingers thread into his hair and over his flexed back. His tongue swirls and his teeth lightly tug on your perkiness, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. And he still isn’t even inside you yet.

After leaving love upon your other bosom, Yangyang fumbles with the condom, forgetting which way it should go on. Giggling, you perch yourself onto your elbows and assist him. Rolling it over his possession, you recline yourself back and spread your legs for him.

Pensively, he sticks his tongue out as he adjusts himself between your sex, easing himself into you, and upon the full impact, you meet his gaze head-on. His stare makes you feel vulnerable and exposed beyond the physical plane.

But, unlike the others you have been with, you trust him with everything, like you always have, and be free with him. Losing your inhibitions and submitting to your whims, you entangle and become one with Yangyang.

Behind his hazy vision, Yangyang’s simply thinking how beautiful you are, how he can’t imagine anyone else under his touch but you, how he is willing to give up anything to make you smile.

Well, in this case, he’s willing to give up anything to make you pleased.

However, it doesn’t seem like he needs to do much because you’re howling his name and clinging onto his skin and the sheets in a frenzy, like you’re about to die of exhaustion.

You perish a few times under him before he finally reaches his little death himself, convulsing into the sheath.

When air’s replenished into your bodies, you rest on his chest under your blanket. Glancing up at him, you move some of his tousled hair off his sleek forehead.

“Merry Christmas, Yangyang,” you whisper, snuggling him with a satisfied smile.

“Merry Christmas, babe,” he whispers back, giving you one last peck before you both drift into a deep slumber together.

DECEMBER 26th

Last night took so much out of the both of you, you don’t get out of bed until about the middle of the afternoon. Yangyang doesn’t have anything planned for today since it’s Boxing Day, since the crowds might be crazy wherever you go, so it’s officially a chill, rest day for you both.

When you step out of the shower in fresh clothes, from behind the couch, you watch Yangyang gaming on his Switch.

The little voice in your head looms, prompting that now is the time to have The Talk, and speaks up on your behalf.

“Do we have to end things next week?” you croak.

You see Yangyang’s shoulders stiffen, then he pauses the game and turns around to face you. His gaze follows you as you step closer to the couch, opting to stand.

“Uhm.” His Adam’s apple bobs and he shrugs. “It’s up to you, it’s your—”

“Yangyang, that’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking what you think, how do you feel?”

His lips press together and he’s staring at the floor. You can tell the gears are moving, but you can’t read his expression clearly.

“I’m down for whatever you want to do,” he says slowly, eyes still averting yours.

That’s a I’m-your-best-friend answer, you deduce. Not a I-want-to-be-your-actual-boyfriend answer.

He adds, stuttering, “I mean, I wouldn’t mind doing this a little longer if that’s what you want—”

Your face scrunches in annoyance. “Did you just sign up to be my short-term boyfriend so you can fill my empty heart?”

His eyebrows crease with confusion. “I mean, I never want to see you unhappy.”

“So it’s pity dating then?” you lash, raising your voice.

“No, I—” Yangyang bites down on his tongue, almost letting the one word slip out again. He blows out a lengthy sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “I care about you, so much. I’d do anything to make you happy.”

You’re defining his words as an affirmation of friendship and as an underlying rejection of your love.

You need to know for certain.

“Do you love me, Yangyang?” you blurt. “As more than a friend?”

This is it, Yangyang thinks. This is your chance to let her know how you feel.

But the distress written on your face makes him wonder if he should even go through with it, and it’s intensifying with every passing moment that he’s not speaking.

If only he knew your distress was deepening because you took his hesitance as absolute rejection.

Your heart is breaking because of him, and he technically wasn’t even yours to begin with.

You smack your lips together and gulp a few times, trying to make the huge knot in your throat disappear.

“You know what, maybe let’s just forget this arrangement and leave it all behind and forget about the sex and—”

“You wanna stop this?” he utters quietly.

The word “this” hangs heavy in the air. This, carrying the weight of not only being the temporary agreement, but also your friendship.

“Yeah,” you whisper, tears beginning to blur your eyes. “I think I do.”

DECEMBER 28th

Two days have passed since you last saw Yangyang.

That day before he left, Yangyang, feeling guilty for how events unfolded, wanted to give back the Playstation, but you insisted for him to keep it. In spite of everything, it was a Christmas gift to him from you and his parents.

But both of you weren’t sure if the shared custody promise was going to be held up.

In hopes that things would eventually get better and heal itself, Yangyang thought it’d be best to leave you alone for a while, like how he usually did.

And maybe he was right to do so, but this time is different.

Because he’s on the other end of the stick now; he’s the one who broke your heart.

Under regular circumstances, whenever you needed space, he was always ready to be there by your side.

But Yangyang’s uncertain if you’re going to let him comfort you this time.

And you’re uncertain if you even want him to.

DECEMBER 30th

Today, Yangyang finally makes the move to get in touch with you, texting you to call him, but you don’t, so he leaves a voicemail later in the evening.

“There’s a New Year’s party I’m going to tomorrow,” he starts off, then spews the specific details.

There’s a pause and you hear shuffling in the background. You assume he’s pacing around.

“I know you ended our agreement, but I wouldn’t mind fulfilling my end since New Year’s is the last day tomorrow. I’d be really glad if you came to the party with me, whether it be as my friend or my girlfriend.”

Another pause.

On the other end, Yangyang rubs his palm over his face, considering whether or not he should say it. If you picked up the phone call, he was going to do it anyway, but this just felt improper. He wants to say it when he knows you’re listening in real-time, so he ends off the message with:

“I miss you. So much.”

DECEMBER 31st

It’s 8:40PM. Before Yangyang buses out to the party, he’s back at your front door for one more shot. His fist taps at your door, cognizant that you wouldn’t be elsewhere since your other friends are out of town for the holidays. Despite that, you don’t come to the door. Nevertheless, he speaks to you through the wooden barrier.

“Hey, I know you want to be left alone, but I just wanted to see if you changed your mind about the party.”

Still no answer. He lets out a sigh and prays the following will incite a reaction from you.

“About the question that you asked me that night...”

He closes his eyes and allows his mouth to carry him.

“I do. I do love you. As both my best friend and more. I’m sorry if I hurt you that night by not saying anything, but I love you so much and I think we should give us a shot.”

Still no answer. Yangyang continues.

“Look, I know it’s scary and crazy to date your best friend. I’m scared too, but you know what? I’m okay with being scared. I’ve watched you gone through those assholes over the last few years and maybe you’re scared I’ll end up like one of them, but unlike them, I don’t think you’re horrible or needy or emotional—you’re beautiful, intelligent, and strong for putting up with all those fuckers.”

He leans his forehead gently against the door.

“And even if we ever do break up, and this is a big if because I’ll always try my hardest with you to make it work, I’ll still be your friend. I promise. You won’t lose me ‘cause I need you in my life. I gotta keep my end up for the custody of the Playstation, right?”

A smile breaks over his face from his joke, but still. Radio silence.

“Can you at least say something?” he begs.

After a few minutes, realizing he needs to probably give you more time to be left alone, he departs and heads to the party.

Originally, you actually were planning on attending the party to see Yangyang to make-up with him.

Unfortunately, out of all the days you had to take a late afternoon nap, it had to be today.

And you overslept. Big time.

At 10:55PM, you scramble awake, realizing you’re absolutely late to the event. Since the party’s downtown, you know calling an Uber or Lyft there would be fast, but tonight’s the worst night for any share riding service and there aren’t any available drivers. Thus, you have to manage with busing there.

It’s 11:40PM when you finally reach downtown, but the bus can’t take you all the way to the core centre where the party is; hordes of people are out on the streets and traffic is dreadful. God, you’re going to be cutting it close to midnight, but you make a run for it.

You’re grateful the party is on the second floor of a small building because you slide in right through the entrance at 11:58PM. You rush to call Yangyang’s phone, hoping he’ll pick up as you try to find him in the scattered groups of people.

You begin to holler for him in hopes he can hear you, but the countdown is happening, drowning out your voice. Thirty seconds left until the clock strikes for the new year.

When his number finally goes to voicemail, you redial his number. Suddenly, a hand grasps you by the wrist.

Yangyang looks at you, dumbfounded.

“When did you get here?”

The harmonious chanting around you floods your surroundings.

“Ten, nine, eight...”

Getting closer to him, you practically scream into Yangyang’s face, trusting he’ll hear what you’re about to say.

“I know Christmas is over, but I want to change my wish.”

“Seven, six, five...”

“I know you might not feel the same and I know things might not work out.”

“Four, three, two...”

”But I wish to date you past New Year’s until whenever, however long we last.”

“One...”

“I love you, Yangyang—”

The one you love snatches you by the waist and your cheek, stealing your lips at the last millisecond before midnight.

“Happy New Year!”

A wave of noisemakers, clappers, and hollering erupt around the room. After it dies down a bit, Yangyang shocks you with a scolding.

“Why didn’t you say anything when I came over?!”

Confusion rushes over you. You realize he probably came by when you were sleeping.

“You came over?!”

“Yeah, I confessed my love for you.”

“Wait,” you blink blankly, unsure if you heard him correctly. “Your love?”

“Yeah,” he nods, giving you his cheesy, adorable smile. “I love you.”

“As more than a friend?” you clarify.

“Babe,” Yangyang’s thumb caresses your cheek. “I don’t think I could ever go back to wanting less with you.”

Your lips tremble with relief as your gaze melts in his.

“And, anyway, who else am I going to share the Playstation with?”

“Well, I mean, you do have Hendery, Xiaojun, Winwin...” you start to count his infinite list of friends on your fingers.

“Yeah, but I need you so I can constantly beat your cute little butt at games.”

“You do not constantly beat my cute little butt at games, I’ll have you know that I beat you at—”

Yangyang shuts you up with another kiss, the one of many for the rest of the night.

JANUARY 2nd

It’s your second morning at Yangyang’s place. You’ve only done it a few times now, but you realize that waking up in his arms is one of the greatest feelings in the world, second only to his kisses.

In his bed, spooning you from behind, he grumbles into the nape of your neck, “Morning, girlfriend.”

Half-awake, you mumble back, “Morning, boyfriend,” and sink deeper into the curve of his body.

Content, you finally broke your string of cursed holiday break-ups for good.

And all it took was to be with the one who was in front of you all this time.

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legends-of-apex · 3 years

Text

The Jacket Thief

Robbie Reyes/Ghost Rider x Reader (18+)

Word Count: 1,700

Rating: 18+ (smut, car sex)

Summary: Having been craving him all day you decide that it's a good idea to steal Robbie's jacket when you meet him at the garage after work one day, knowing it's the very best way to push his proverbial buttons. It is. So is wearing very little other than said jacket whilst lounging on top of his precious car. Reader is presented as female.

A/N: If you’d like to be tagged in future Ghost Rider stuff (as I’m sure there will be more where this came from 💀) please feel free to let me know!

“Cariña, have you seen….” He trailed off when he saw you sprawled out on the hood of the charger wearing none other than,”… my jacket.”

He cursed under his breath at how good you looked. You were just sitting there waiting for him, his jacket wrapped around you as though you were a present with his name on it. Your legs were spread wide so he could see you only wore panties. You sat back on your elbows, your chest covered only by his jacket and nothing more. It hung open slightly, leaving the valley of your breasts exposed and he swore that was the best that jacket had ever looked.

He wasn’t expecting such a lovely surprise to be waiting for him, least of all after hours in the dimly lit garage where he worked.

You looked up at him beneath your lashes, relishing in how he couldn’t get enough of the sight of you like this, “Come and get it if you want it, baby.” You knew he’d be the one to lock up that night and that he’d have the place to himself. The perfect time for you to set your plan in motion once he went to get changed.

He swallowed. Hard.

With wide eyes, he took in your appearance and silently thanked whatever god was listening for letting you walk into his life. “You really want to do it here? It’s not exactly the cleanest, chica.” He was looking at you over his nose as he slowly walked towards you, trying to seem casual and like he wasn’t at all imploding at the sight of you and the prospect of what came next. Seeing you in his jacket did something to him. It always had done. But seeing you wearing it in just your panties whilst you sat on top of his car? He would have toppled Rome if you’d asked.

As much as you knew this was a fantasy of his, you also knew he’d literally just finished work and was probably more tired than he’d ever admit, “If you don’t wanna, it’s cool. I can just take care of it myself.” By ‘it’ you of course meant your absolutely insatiable lust that day and as much as he would have loved to watch you deal with the issue yourself, there was a problem already growing in the confines of his jeans.

When he finally reached you, placing a hand on the car’s hood on either side of you, you knew he was game and willing to do whatever the hell you wanted him to, “You’ve thought about this before, haven’t you?” You asked, but already knew the answer.

You had him wrapped around your finger, tighter than a glove.

“You know I have,” he’d told you about it once and you’d listened, listened to every little detail he let out about his fantasy of fucking you in his jacket, “Gotta admit, it suits you.” He opened the jacket wide so your bare chest was exposed to him, the cool leather teasing your skin. A flash of orange made its way across his eyes as he looked at you before bringing his mouth down to your breasts. That meant he liked it too. You tried not to think about the demon being a passive on-looker to all this, to everything in Robbie’s life.

“Shit-“ you gasped as he took one nipple into his mouth and palmed the other. The harsh leather of his driving gloves was a sharp contrast to the softness of his warm tongue. He pulled back with a satisfied chuckle when you were getting really into it, his inclinations that you were strung about as high as a harp right now were correct. You must have really needed a good fuck to go to all this effort. He probably should have guessed based on the text you’d sent him earlier.

“You want it here?” He asked when he pulled away from your chest and let you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, bringing him as close to you as the car beneath would allow. You nodded once in affirmation, and he tugged your hips closer to his and brought you in for a kiss that left you breathless. Robbie’s kisses left you breathless more often than not with how passionate he was. With the way he poured his soul into you every time. But today he was especially fervent, it probably had something to do with the jacket.

“Baby, please…” you huffed as you both caught your breath, “I need you.” The desperation for his touch rippled throughout your body and straight to your pulsing core. And here was nothing in this world that got Robbie off more than knowing you were needy for him.

He loved to see you like this, to hear the desperation in your voice. Knowing he was the only one who could help ease your frustrations made his insides coil. “You want me that bad, huh?” He asked, and you didn’t miss the smile on his lips as he said it. He was proud that he’d gotten you in such a state. All it took was a lingering kiss to your neck before he left to take Gabe to school that morning and you’d been craving him ever since.

You released a quiet affirmation, your eyes pleading with him to take you, to give you what you desperately craved.

With a reassuring kiss to your forehead, he started undoing his belt and unzipping his fly. That was his way of telling him he had you, that he was going to take care of you and give you precisely what you craved.

“Come on baby, spread 'em wide for me.”

It was a good thing you were already soaked through your panties. Robbie of course made sure you were ready for him, fingers delicately working through your folds once he’d torn the fabric from your hips. He was so turned on by your little display that he was much quicker to enter you than usual. Normally he’d take the time to caress every inch of your precious skin, to taste and savour you. He liked to take his time. But today you were both so needy and the garage didn’t exactly make for an intimate setting that something far quicker was called for.

Once you were comfortably wrapped around him, the pace he set was immediately relentless, working you open so you had to brace one hand around him and another on the car for balance.

“God, you take me so good.” He groaned, running his fingers over your thighs.

You gasped, begging for more and he obliged you to the point where he grabbed handfuls of your hips as he slammed into you repeatedly, pointedly. Relishing the moans falling from your lips at finally getting what you’d been craving all day.

Each groan that left him fell so close to your ear that you couldn’t help but shiver at the sound. He pressed kisses to the side of your head when he wasn’t praising you. His words got lost in a sea of obscene sounds.

“Lie back,” his voice was rough and strained, and it sounded so good you probably could’ve come just listening to it when it sounded like that.

You obliged him, detangling yourself from him in favour of laying back on his car. You were grateful for the new position as it meant you could get a good look at him and he at you. He looked strained, he always did when he was inside you and you knew it was because he was holding back. If he didn’t hold back he’d likely split you in half with how strong he was with the demon inside him. And you caught glimpses of that strength sometimes, although only when you asked and even then he was so careful with you. You placed your hand on the base of his stomach, diving beneath his shirt just so you could feel the muscle that tensed and released as he rolled his hips forward.

The new angle gave him perfect access to your clit and he made sure to take advantage of that, tugging off one glove so he could tease your dewy folds with precision.

“Shit- Robbie, I’m close” You reached forward to cling to him, face tucked right into the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

“Come for me, baby. I’ve got you.” His voice was low, teasing the shell of your ear, “That’s it… just like that-“ he cut himself off with a groan as your walls clenched around him.

He pulled back away from you a little just to get a look at your face. Your eyes caught his, still glowing slightly orange, and you met together in a kiss. It wasn’t long before you were both finished and heaving, willing air to fill your desperate lungs.

He kissed your face all over as you laughed until you caught his lips with yours once more. Then you just sat there for a moment, your foreheads resting against one another’s until you had to move. It was time to go home.

“Maybe I should steal your jacket more often?” you suggested, looking over at him as he drove. His jacket still hung firmly around your shoulders, zipped up to cover your chest. He let you keep it for the drive home and he was going to have to pin you down to get it back later.

He laughed, a rare sound from him these days, “I wouldn’t make it a habit…” As he said it he took your hand in his before delicately bringing it to his lips, all whilst keeping his eyes on the road. With a gentle squeeze, he let your hand fall back to your lap but kept his there firmly at the curve of your thigh. The weight was comforting, a reminder of his affection and appreciation of you. Not that he’d ever let you forget it.

You covered his hand with your own and interlocked your fingers whilst his thumb continued to knead the softest of circles into your thigh. It was moments like these that made you fall in love with Robbie. His overwhelming gentleness despite the anguish he endured.

#robbie reyes x reader #robbie reyes #ghost rider #ghost rider x reader #agents of shield #fic #nsft #mine #my writing #marvel

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subwaysurf45 · 3 years

Text

Slow Sunday (bucky x reader)

Summary: Sunday’s are your days get stuff done to start the week right, Bucky ends up wanting to help and tag along. but as the tasks progress he just feels like dead weight.

Warning: implied smut (like once) and I really can’t think of anything else,

Words: 3k

Masterlist!

You were the type of person to keep to a routine, not a strict one but one to keep you from going crazy. Bucky on the other hand liked to rest on Sundays, just stay in bed and cuddle with as many different configurations; especially when he was little spoon.

Bucky had slept over in your apartment Saturday night after a gala at Tony’s place, you both got tipsy and your place was closer so it made sense to just order some pizza and chill in your large bed. He liked sleeping on the floor on his own, but once you first showed up you convinced him to get a mattress but not a box spring so he was closer to the ground but also comfy. When you both went mattress shopping he asked for the mattress that feels like a rock; and it sure does.

Tony’s part was fun, you and Bucky ended up finishing the fun at home. Though Bucky was still new to it all again every time you’d have sex he felt a little better, just a little more confident. He was currently sitting slightly up against the headrest, the sheets were halfway down his torso.

You were still sleeping, your head on his chest which made the sheets cover up to your shoulders. He knew you drooled a bit when you slept so it wasn’t a surprise to find a little dry patch near your mouth on his chest, Bucky knew you’d get super embarrassed when you woke up because you’ve always denied it.

His flesh hand was barely touching you, his fingertips danced across your bare back at the pace of your heart rate he felt from your bare chest.

You were both so tired and drunk to put back on sleeping clothes last night, so you both slept naked. Your eyes began to twitch so Bucky knew you’d be awake soon, he gently tried to coax you into waking up. “Good morning doll face,” he softly spoke, “time to wake up.” He couldn’t help but giggle at the groan you gave him back. “C’mon.”

“I’m ‘wake,” you sighed, you looked up at him through your puffy eyes, they always got like that in the morning.

“And how’s my naked girlfriend?” He smirked.

“You’re what…oh…” you registered the contact all over, “oh shit,” you whispered and sat up, but Bucky pulled you closer to his neck.

“I was thinkin’ we stay here all day, just cuddle and maybe throw a movie on, or two, what’d’ya say?” He always slurred his words in the morning.

“I gotta do stuff,” you say up again and managed to not get pulled back.

“Stuff?”

“Groceries, fold laundry, change the sheets, vacuum, I always do that every Sunday,” you got out of bed and slipped on a shirt Bucky had left a different he was over.

“What about cuddles?” Bucky made grabby hands from the bed, the sheets pooling dangerously low. You’d been with him so long it didn’t even phase you.

You sighed and stretched your back, “how about a deal?” You walked back to the bed and held his hands, knowing he could think you’re mad at him for some reason; you could see it in his face. “I do my stuff right now, I’ll be done…” you glance at the clock on the bedside table, “…in about two hours tops, that’ll take us to around lunch, then we can do all the things: movie, cuddles, baking cookies, all of it.”

He smiled and looked down at your intertwined hands, “sure, I like that.” He stood up and followed you to the bathroom, “what’s first?”

“You can stay back if you want to catch some z’s, I know crowds make you nervous and stuff.” You washed your face, Bucky followed when the sink was unoccupied.

“N-no- I mean yes, I hate crowds, but I think it will be fun, quality time, right?” He was making eye contact with you through the mirror.

“Very true, I’ll vacuum first and then change my sheets, I really only need to do the carpet by the TV, I don’t do my full floor all the time” you rubbed in some moisturizer before wetting your hands to get the sticky feeling off.

Bucky nodded and followed you out of the room. He offered to do the sheets on the bed which you found very caring. Once Bucky was back in the bedroom he came to the very embarrassing realization that he really didn’t know what he was doing. At all.

“Hey, babe?” He called over his shoulder, after you called back he asked, “where’s the sheets?”

“Top of my closet,” you said before starting up the vacuum.

Bucky really didn’t think he suffered PTSD, he knew he was broken and slowly healing but he never wanted to diagnose, it just wasn’t something he liked. He goes to therapy after everyone he talked to- including the government -said it would be a good idea, you were very happy when he went.

But something screwed him up, Bucky was already nervous, he wanted to make your life easier today. But part of him knew he was just going to let you down, “I always let them down,” he said to himself.

He stripped the bed easily, Bucky just ripped everything off. But as he looked between the sheet with the wrinkles on the corners and flat sheet he forgot what went where, he wanted to ask but the vacuum was going and he didn’t want to get in the way.

So he tried the fitted sheet first, it wrapped around all three corners of the mattress but at the fourth corner once he wrapped it the opposite corner gave out, he sighed and went over and tucked that one in; and then the other popped out again.

It must not be like this, he thought to himself. So Bucky tucked the flat sheet around the mattress and then took the fitted sheet and tucked it in at the bottom and then threw the duvet on. Did it look right? No, not at all. But does everything fit? Yes, yes it does. The pillow cases were easy, he could do them in his sleep.

As he walked out of the bedroom to find you wrapping up the cord, the blue carpet that tied the entire apartment together looked brand new. You tucked the vacuum away before heading to the small kitchen.

“How did the bed go?” You asked as you grabbed a sheet of lined paper off the retro fridge you found on the side of the road; it was a great steal. “Any probables?”

Bucky thought, should I tell her? But she might get mad, and then she’ll have to stop writing, I’m only slowing her down… “nope,” he whispered.

You looked in the fridge and the cabinet before writing a sufficient list, “alright, you want anything in particular?” You asked as you grabbed your keys at the front, Bucky slipped on his no name brand shoes.

Don’t be greedy, “no, I’m alright?” Bucky opened the door for you.

You headed to the store, it was typically busy on weekends and in the afternoon but when you pulled into the parking lot there didn’t seem to be too many cars. Part of your worries subsided, you had been dating Bucky long enough he gets really self conscious when he’s in public, you have also picked up on the fact that he’s being really shy today.

“Remember, if you get too overwhelmed please, please, please tell me, babe.” You stressed and looked over to him, he had taken off his seat belt after you.

“I will, don’t worry.” He assured you.

You got all the bags from your car and walked with them to the front of the store, it was a nicer place, more organic options and just healthier; not crazy ‘hipster keto guru’ type deal, but enough. The teenagers and university kids were always really nice which also made Bucky feel a little better, you remember him being in an absolute high when a kid complemented his shoes.

You found a cart and Bucky pushed, “I’ll push so you can walk around more, it’ll be fine.” He said as you walked into the store and right into the produce.

The list you make was almost always the same, your kitchen was small so having tons of food choices wasn’t really an option, it was just the basic necessities and then a few treats. You always kept a pen to cross everything out, it made everything more organized.

As you went up and down the aisles you threw what you needed into the cart, Bucky didn’t say much, he was just scanning around, occasionally looking over his shoulder. You’d ask him if he wanted anything but he still said no.

You stopped in the bread and grains section, Bucky watched as you looked between two different loafs.

“What’s up?” Bucky asked, leaving his spot at the back of the cart to stand beside you, his arm wrapping around your waist.

“No, I’m just looking at the two, I like them both, that’s all.” You sighed and leaned into his side, you were about to say something else when an elder lady started talking.

“I can’t get through, you’re leaving your cart in the middle of the aisle!” She yelled, Bucky got startled and wanted to curl into a little ball right then and there.

“Sorry, didn’t think we’d be standing here that long.” You faked a smile even though you really wanted to punch her for making Bucky jumpy again but you took the loaf closest to you and then moved your cart away. Once she left the aisle Bucky just looked at you, “god, no need to yell, right?” You scoffed, but Bucky didn’t laugh. “Hey, you alright?” You walked up to him and rubbed his shoulders.

“I’m fine, let’s keep going.” His voice was very bland.

Bucky got back to pushing the cart, his head slightly down and he wasn’t talking. You were getting a little worried but once you both got home you’d cuddle with him on the couch and try to pry it out of him.

You were done shopping and at the checkout, you decided to bag everything while Bucky placed it all on the conveyor belt on the other side, the lady was ringing it up super fast and by the time she needed payment you were still bagging.

“Bucky, can you bag?” You rubbed his back as he passed you, you took your card and began to pay for the groceries.

Bucky put everything in the bags, he wanted to make sure they were finished by the time you’d finished paying. So he chucked everything in, there doesn’t need to be too much specialization, right? It’s all gonna be unpacked soon.

Bucky pushed the cart back to the car, he was looking into the purple bag that had a little sticker on it that read ‘produce’, he looked into the bag and found chips and he remembered he put the oranges on the bottom. As he leaned forward to fix his mess the cart stopped randomly.

“Ow!” You hopped on one foot and grabbed your achilles, you just wore flip flops because it was warm outside.

Bucky scrambled to your side, “shit shit shit! I’m so sorry, so so sorry!” He worried and opened the trunk. You'd stopped at your car but Bucky thought the car was further away. “Sit,” he helped you down.

You sat on the end of the trunk as Bucky put in all the bags, apologizing when he’d turn to you. It was evident on his face that he was tired, you watched as he sluggishly turned back and forth. The grocery store wasn’t busy but probably too busy for Bucky’s liking, you knew he messed up the bags but you didn’t have the heart to tell him, he looked super worried when you were finishing the transaction.

“I’ll drive home, don’t worry.” He helped you up and closed the back.

“I can drive, buck.” You pulled him in for a quick kiss before heading to the driver’s side.

Bucky looked into the window like a pouty child, you don’t think he really meant to look that upset but it definitely came across that way. You really felt for him, he was a shy guy and communication wasn’t always his strong suit, he’s lived most of his life being told if you speak up you’ll get punished; keep your head down and don’t ask questions.

You looked between the road and Bucky for a while, he didn’t even realize because of how far his body turned to face the window. It was a nice day, sunny and hot even though Bucky wore his leather jacket and navy blue cargo pants.

“Bucky,” you started and reached over to place a hand on his thigh, “penny for your thoughts?” You gently rubbed his leg.

He just shrugged and made a little sound, your hand slipped off his leg as he pulled his thigh away.

You pulled into the driveway but as Bucky went to click his seatbelt off you locked the doors, Bucky gave you a look when he tried to open them.

You just sat forward and acted like you didn’t do anything, your fingers tapping a beat on your shearing wheel, Bucky had turned his body to face you and gently tapped your shoulder.

All you did was unbuckle and turn to face him, the little tap on your shoulder made you want to cry, he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“What’s up?” You asked, your tone as light as can be.

“Can you unlock?” His head was down, hair covering his eyes.

“Not until you talk to me, Bucky.” You leaned back into your seat and reached over again, this time rubbing his left shoulder, you almost never did this, it typically happens after a nightmare.

“What about?” He asked but the look you have made him keep talking, “I’m just really tired, that’s all.” He tried the door again.

“I can read you like a book-“

“So what?” He snapped, “just open the door, please.” He didn’t yell but his tone was angry, “I’m really fucking tired and I just want to cuddle like you said, Y’know, the deal we made?” He tried the door again, and this time it opened.

He got out but you stayed in the car, your mouth slightly open and your eyebrows raised. Bucky looked and waited for you to get out but when you didn’t move he got back into the car.

“I’ll talk inside, but there’s ice cream in the back.” He whispered.

The bags had been brought in. The ice cream was in the freezer. It took a little longer with everything being in the wrong bags but Bucky kept apologizing as you pulled out crushed tortilla chips and flatten bread which wasn’t flat when you bought it.

“Freezing it helps,” you smiled, you didn’t even know if that was true, it probably did the opposite.

But finally, you and Bucky retreated back to the bed. His eyes were heavy and his feet dragged on the floor, you were hoping he’d talk when you had him on your chest, he always felt safe when you’d play with his hair.

Bucky pulled the sheets back after getting rid of all the pillows to be slapped in the face with his first mistake of the day. The fucked bedding.

You just stared at it, wondering how the hell he even managed to do that. When you looked up Bucky looked so defeated, he just pulled his phone out of his pocket and headed for the door.

“I need to make a call,” he grumbled.

As Bucky walked just to the apartment hallway his therapist picked up.

“Bucky, it’s my day off.”

“Wow, good to see you too, doc.” He smirked and rolled his eyes, after a while they got into a playful banter type situation that worked for the both of them.

“What’s going on?” It was like her ‘therapist cap’ was put on, her tone instantly changing.

Bucky sighed and told her about it all, the bed, the groceries, the car locking situation, everything. He was getting angry by the end, “I just can’t seem to do anything right, doc. I don’t know how she does this and more importantly how she puts up with me! I was dead weight today,” he adds.

“Does she know that?” Bucky’s therapist has never met you but you’ve been a topic of conversation tons of times.

“I don’t know…” Bucky sighed.

“You do,”

“She doesn't know,” he leaned up against the wall, his legs getting really tired.

“So go and tell her, let her know how you feel. From what happened in the car it’s obvious she cares about you, she’d probably help you learn to make a bed and all that. You’ve said yourself she’s kind and caring, so trust her, Bucky. Trust her with your feelings, you’ll feel way better.” She concluded, after a quick farewell and a confirmation of the next session, Bucky rolled his shoulders back and headed in.

You had fixed the bed and were currently finding Bucky’s favourite movie, you sat up when he walked in.

“Okay,” he stood at the foot of the bed, “I’m going to say something,” he announced. “You know I can get in my own head, and sometimes that leads to lack of communication on my end, I just can’t seem to get myself to talk.” Bucky took a deep breath, you nodded along, “but, I’m going to do it, I’m going to tell you how I feel.” His hands were shoved into his cargo pants pocket.

“Go ahead,” you sat up on your knees and gave your full attention.

“Today I felt like dead weight, I felt like I let you down. I know Sundays are kinda your days, I’ve always known that. But when I tried to help I never did it right, I messed up the bed, I messed up the groceries and hit your foot- not to mention me snapping at you which I hate myself for -but…what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry for getting in your way, I should have known I wasn’t doing anything good.” He nodded when he finished, you stood and walked over.

“Bucky, thank you for telling me. But there is nothing to apologize for- and don’t cut me off, let me speak,” you put a finger to his lips, he only smiled and bashfully lowered his face. “You’re not dead weight, not at all. And it’s fine to mess up sometimes, where’re human. But what I don’t want to hear is you apologizing, because it’s fine.” Your hand had moved to his cheek to gently caress his face, “and just ask next time, ‘hey, babe, how do you make a bed?’ Or ‘how should I bag these foods?’, it really takes a little question and then you’re good, there’s no shame in asking a question; there’s no stupid questions.” You guided him to the bed and let him lie his head on your chest, “and I forgive you for snapping, but that wasn’t nice.” You dug your hands into his hair, he hugged you tight as another apology.

You flicked the movie in but neither of you watched, you just played with Bucky’s hair as he slowly fell asleep. His face was deep in your chest and it felt nice to he his weight on you, it was a weird comforting feeling. But soon enough you too were out like a light.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky oneshot #bucky barns fluff #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky barns x you #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barns imagine #winter solider fanfiction #winter solider x reader #winter solider x y/n

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demonslayedher · 3 years

Text

"Grandpa Kokushibo" AU

This started as a simple little joke in those Muichiro doodles. And then it was just supposed to be a simple little drabble. A simple little Crack Fic. But next thing you know...

------

“You… you are my descendent…”

“…huh…”

Six flaring eyes loomed over Tokito, the two in the middle etched with writing. Upper Moon… One…

“Those eyes…”

Having been so locked on the demon’s eyes, he didn’t realize at first that it was talking about his own. “…huh…?”

“…They’re red… a sign… a Kakushaku-no-Ko… you have… potential…”

“……huh…..”

“Become… a demon…”

“…huh………. Huh!?”

With little recourse to convince the demon to leave like he might attempt with a bear or a boar, Tokito brought the demon home. “Sweetheart? I, uh… a relative of mine is visiting.”

His wife, whose complexion was lovely even without the luxuries of make-up, smiled up sweetly from where she knelt, with their two young sons asleep on the futon before her. “You still have family? What happy news---”

The demon, Kokushibo, bowed lowly so that he could fit inside the door. “Good evening,” he said.

“…G…Good evening,” she gawked, her soft green eyes wide and locked. “A… a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure… is mine.”

“Uh, so, it seems this is my great-grandfather of sorts. A great many ‘greats.’ A few centuries’ worth of ‘greats.’ What a coincidence that we’ve just run into each other.”

“It’s no… coincidence. I have… always been searching… for Sun Breath users…”

Tokito smiled with his face like puddy. “Sun Breath? What’s that?”

“…to kill them…”

Tokito and his wife shared a “ghh!!” as their throats tightened.

“I did not expect… to find the remains of the Tsugikuni Clan… out here… in this… dump…”

“I, uh, I sort of recall that name being way back in the family. But on the wrong side of the war, you know? We haven’t been a warrior clan since the start of Edo times.”

“A pity… but… no matter… you will have… a greater master to serve…”

“Um! Uh! Would you like to meet your grandsons?”

“Honey, what are you—”

Six eyes widened. “Grandsons?”

“I have twin boys! I’m busy raising them, I don’t have any time for swordsmanship, haha! All I know how to do is swing an ax.”

“Heirs… are important… they’ll do no good… as children… You,” he looked to Tokito’s wife, whose eyes were swirling trying to follow his gaze. “You do it. You raise them. I’ll… train my descendent…”

“Train…?”

“You may have… the ability… to attain the Breath… of the Sun…”

“D---di---di—didn’t you say you were going to kill S-S-Sun Breath users?”

“Why would I… kill my descendent…?”

Tokito was doing his best, but he was hitting his limits for how many more surprises he could take that evening. “Listen, I… I only want what’s best for my family. I want to watch my sons grow up, and teach them how to live a simple life out here in nature. Ancestor or not, we want nothing to do with demons.”

“My dear,” his wife said, some surprised admiration in her tone.

“I have to ask you to leave.”

“I cannot.”

“You will take ‘no’ for an answer!”

“I cannot,” Kokushibo stressed. “The sun is rising. Sunlight… will kill me…”

“…ah… oh. That’s a problem.”

“I’ll remain… here…”

“I’m sorry, I can’t have you do that. You’re a demon, and—”

“Defy me… and I will kill your family.”

“---GHH!” the Tokito couple swallowed harder.

----- The boys woke up to find a demon quietly sitting cross-legged in the corner. Yuichiro cried, Muichiro stared. Tokito didn’t want to scare them, however rightfully they should be, so he smiled and introduced the demon as their grandfather. Kokushibo politely bowed his head. The boys were quickly accepting. In his heart, Tokito cried and begged the forgiveness of his religious parents for not teaching them a proper distaste for evil.

In a battle of will, Tokito would be easily outmatched. But for however many years Kokushibo had on him, he didn’t seem like a quick thinker. Tokito might be able to beat him in a battle of wits. He had an ability that was sure to ward Kokushibo off, if only he could wield it with the right timing.

“If you leave me no choice, Grandfather, then I guess I must learn this Sun Breathing swordsmanship you keep talking about! Maybe you’re right, maybe I do have potential! I’d like to think all my practice cutting down trees makes me adept with a blade,” he smiled, his hands proudly at his hips. “Will you take a look this evening?”

“Yes… I eagerly await… seeing your potential… my descendent…”

Tokito grinned. He couldn’t wait either. In the meantime, Yuichiro and Muichiro spent the daylight hours at either side of the unusual houseguest.

“Grandpa, you have flames on your face. Do those hurt?”

“They do not…”

“You have as many eyes as a bug. Why do you have so many eyes?”

“Because… I am… a demon…”

“It looks gross. With all those eyes, can’t you see it looks gross?”

“I can see… a great many things…”

“Why are there eyes on your sword? Can your sword see?”

“My sword is made with… my blood… its eyes… are my eyes…”

“Is your sword a bug?”

“What’s its name?”

“Kyokokukamusari.”

“Kyokko…”

“Kyokyaku…”

“Kyokyakoku…”

“Kyokukuka…”

“Your tongues… are young.”

When evening fell, Tokito put his plan into action. It took no special effort on his part, all he had to do was trust himself.

“Yahh! Yaahh!” he yelled as he swung his ax. “Yaah! Yar! Yagh! Yuh!! Ya—AHHH!” he spun around and fell down, nearly lopping off his own arm. Perfect!

All of Kokushibo’s eyes, even the ones down his sword were blazing on him, and he waited for Kokushibo’s reaction. There was no fooling those eyes, which made Tokito’s plan all the better.

That demon would know!

“You are very…”

“Yes?”

“Clumsy.”

Precisely! This would chase that pesky demon off, wouldn’t it?

“I can see… it will take… many years… to train you…”

…no.

-----

The centuries had made Kokushibo resilient to setback, and time flowed at a different pace for him. “Become a demon now… and you will have… all the time you need… to attain… Sun Breathing…”

“Now, now wait!” Tokito waved his arms. He had taken the full next day to get his wits rounded back up, while Kokushibo resided indoors again patiently allowing the curious bos to poke the eyes of his sword, proving to them he was too powerful to be harmed by their tiny fingers. Yuichiro contemplated poking Kokushibo in one of the eyes on his face, but he hesitated when all six were focused on him, and he cried and buried his face behind his hands. “Wait. Wait. You can wait, can’t you?”

“Wait… for what?”

“If it’s inevitable that I have to become a demon, can’t you wait for me to be a human longer?”

“What good is there… in being human?”

“I want to watch my boys grow up!”

“I am a demon… I see them… perfectly fine.”

“Well, I mean, but, no, I mean, like, out there, having a normal family life with them. Working in the mountains, coming home, making food.”

“A human body… is weak… and will starve… without food… A waste… of time… to constantly…. work… for… Your body… will grow old… and frail… Become a demon… and these concerns… will vanish…”

“You—you make a compelling argument, Grandfather. But being human is good too!”

“How… is being human… better… than being… a demon?”

“I, well… is… isn’t it weird to learn Sun Breathing if I can’t see the sun?”

The demon’s eyes, every last one of them, went wide. Tokito had him! “You’re… right…” he said, stunned.

“Haha, oh, Grandfather! It’s been so long since you’ve seen it that you must had forgotten about it! All the creatures of this world are meant to be touched by the sun’s rays, it’s the natural way of things. It’s a blessing.”

“Sun Breathing… may require… practice… under the sun…”

“Haha, it may take a while, but I guess I’ll have to do my best on my own.”

“I will… train you… at night… and by day… you will train… under the sun…”

-----

The arrangement seemed to be working a while. Whether Tokito trained during the day or not (he did not), his progress was slow. His wife had come to get accustomed to the situation, knowing she had to make the best of it until the demon hopefully got bored and left. Having the boys so entertained during the day helped her get a lot of extra work done around the house.

“Grandfather,” she addressed him. “We got a great catch for dinner tonight, look at the size of this fish! What part of the fish is your favorite? I’ll serve that part for you.”

“Demons… do not eat… fish…”

“Oh, how rude of us. What would better suit your tastes?”

“Demons… do not consume… human food… we would… vomit it…”

“Ahhh… oh. Well, we can’t have that.”

“Grandpa. Grandpa,” Muichiro tugged at his hakama. “Then what do demons eat?”

“Humans.”

Muichiro stared, and after what felt like a long time in human experience, his face flushed and his eyes welled with tears. Yuichiro pinched his cheek. “Don’t cry, stupid. He’s only teasing you.”

“…oh,” Muichiro, red-faced and cheek still stretched smiled with relief.

Their mother, meanwhile, was blanched white, the fish still flopping around in her stiff hands.

“You’re not… making much… progress… could it be… you’re not… practicing… in daylight…?”

“Ah, ahhhh, yes, I’m afraid not,” Tokito sweated profusely. “That… that’s just part of being human. There’s so much work to do all day and then I have to sleep through so much of the night. I may never learn swordsmanship at this rate, hahaha!”

“Then hurry… and become a dem—”

“S-Sure must had been nice to be in a samurai clan back in your day, huh? Servants to do all the tedious chores and stuff so you could focus and train! May, maybe it’d be nice to hear some stories about when you were growing up! The boys would love to know their family history too, I’m sure!”

“…what chores…?”

“Oh, haha, oh, Grandfather! Did you not even know what chores were? What a charmed life—”

“What chores?” he stressed.

“Uhh---well---chopping trees, mostly.”

“Your ax… hand it to me…”

“Uhh… yes, sir.”

“I will chop your trees… so you… may advance… in your training…”

“Ye… yes, sir.”

-----

They had an excess of very high-quality wood on a regular basis. It sold so well on Tokito’s occasional trips into town that he found himself with more money than he ever had in his life. “Use it… to buy food…” Kokushibo instructed him. “Nourish your family… with it… buy warmer clothes… save your labor…”

Tokito had been raised being told that demons were evil, but he began to question that. They were all part of a world beyond humans, populated by Buddhas and Tengu and foxes, who was to say that their nature was entirely evil?

All at once, one night after months of the demon’s constant presence, he disappeared. Tokito and his wife cried with relief, and Tokito vowed to use the gifts the supernatural ancestor bestowed on them to raise his family well, and to never forget humility in the face of things outside their human experience.

But then he came back the following night.

“G-Grandfather,” he trembled. “Y-y-you’re back.”

“I went out… to feed. Now… continue… your practice…”

Inside, his wife cried on behalf of them both, for Tokito was too scared to anything but obey.

-----

Two years went by. With no choice, Tokito could not help that his swordsmanship improved. “Hhm,” Kokushibo nodded with approval. “Soon… I shall… find you a sword… no longer… a wooden one…”

“Aw, you don’t need to trouble yourself, Grandfather!”

“It is… no trouble… to steal one…”

“Well, what I mean is, I’m still so clumsy! Hahaha! Sure would be a waste of effort to kill myself by accident, wouldn’t it?”

“Hmm… you are right…”

“Hahaha!”

“I will… make you a demon first…”

“No! No, wait! I’ll keep practicing, I’ll keep practicing! Let’s hold off on a real sword until I’m ready!”

“You are… delaying… the inevitable…”

“And you are exceedingly patient, Grandfather!”

“That person… is not… so patient… he watches… and tells me… to hurry… and be done… with you…”

“Ghh!” he gulped as he went pale. He should never had forgotten his humility facing that which was outside human experience.

“Gra-a-a-a-nd-paaaa!” came a voice at the door of the hut. “Come fold origami with us!”

“I would… rather play Go…” the demon answered as he turned around and answered the summons.

“Go is boring!”

“You will… appreciate it when you are older…”

His wits. Tokito had to keep thinking with his wits.

-----

Another year went by. Kokushibo remained outwardly patient, but once again made mention of ‘that person.’

“He has… more tasks for me… than to be here… tonight… I will grant you his blood…”

“Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!” Tokito raised his voice at him. This was it. He had to enact his next plan. “What are all these ‘tasks’ anyway? You still take plenty of time away to be a hitman, what else could he possibly have you do?”

Kokushibo answered very simply. “Look for… the blue… spider lily.”

“Ha! Spider lilies aren’t blue, everyone knows that,” sneered Yuichiro.

“The spider lilies are all dead,” said Muichiro. “It’s winter.”

If Kokushibo had twelve eyebrows, he would had raised them in their direction. “I… see… winter… of course… they must… be seasonal…”

“Are you senile, Grandpa? Of course they’re seasonal. They only grow in autumn.”

“You see big patches of them all of a sudden!”

“Autumn… of course… how could I… had forgotten…”

“That’s to be expected, don’t be so hard on yourself, Grandfather,” Tokito’s wife sweetly smiled to him. “They’re a daytime flower, it must be so long since you’ve seen them.”

“Daytime… yes… of course… they’re under… the sun… no wonder… it’s been… impossible… for demons… for a thousand… years… that person’s… blood… is swelling… within me… with… frustration…”

With the rising tenseness in Kokushibo’s voice, Tokito’s muscle sprung with their own tension. “N-no wonder! How sad! How sad that demons can’t go under the sun! I hope I never—”

“That person… will give you… more time. For you… must search… in the daytime…”

“Ghh…” he swallowed. “Y… yes, sir.”

“That’s stupid,” said Yuichiro. “You’re not going to find any in winter.”

“Yes… it’s stupid. You will… search next autumn… and train… until then… and…”

“……….and……….?”

“Play… Go… with me. These rascals… have no… appreciation for… Go…”

“It’s boring, Grandpa!”

“I’m trying, I can’t remember all the rules!”

“Let’s play Shogi instead!”

“Fine… lay the board… let’s play Shogi…”

-----

Two more years passed. Tokito had reprieve from his training during the autumns to search for the blue spider lilies, and one untimely fall in those searches gave him a much longer reprieve from training. His leg was badly broken, and he spent most of the winter bedridden.

“Haha… I’m still so clumsy…” he laughed, covering up that he also wanted to cry.

“And now we have to do all your work,” grumbled Yuichiro.

“Are you still in pain, Dear?”

“A… a lot, yes…”

“Become… a demon…”

“N-no! I’m still so clumsy, I haven’t mastered any of the Sun Breath yet!”

“I don’t want Daddy to get hurt anymore,” Muichiro said with tear-stained eyes. “Next autumn, I’ll go look for the flowers instead.”

“Ghh!” Tokito and his wife looked to him, helpless to tell their son to stop.

“Very good… a good child…” Kokushibo patted his head. “You will… be useful… to that person… too…”

It had to stop. Tokito needed to hurry and eliminate this demon, for the sake of his family.

-----

The following autumn, his leg still bothered him. On most days it was fine, but when it rained or when he climbed too stiff of an incline, the pain kept coming back. He could not use it as any excuse to skip his training, though, for Kokushibo would use that as an excuse to rip him from his humanity.

He kept up the training, as well as ventured out through the mountains to search, and ventured down the mountain periodically to sell the wood that Kokushibo cut. On one of those trips into town, he overheard the gossip.

“I heard it was demons.”

He froze to the spot and listened. He knew it wasn’t Kokushibo, for he was careful not to cause any incidents that would inconvenience the Tokito family—a strange thing that Tokito was sorry for being grateful for. But, perhaps if an incident had occurred closer to them, he’d have heard the following gossip sooner.

“The Demon Slayers are sure to catch it.”

“Demon Slayers?”

“Swordsmen with the sun in their blades, they fight with Breaths to take those monsters down.”

Breaths! Like Sun Breathing!

“Um!” he butted in. “How can I find these Demon Slayers?”

“How? We don’t know. Do you have a demon on your hands, Tokito?”

“…Ghh!... N… No…” he bit his lip and rolled his eyes back to avoid looking at them as he lied.

Maybe there was someone out there who could help him. But how would he find them without raising Kokushibo’s suspicion? The stress made it hard for him to sleep and gave him headaches. His could not risk any talk of this at home, but his sweet wife could see how it pained him, and she whispered with a light cough to let her and the boys take care of searching for the blue spider lilies.

-----

His wife fell ill. A common thing, for humans.

“I’m sorry, Grandfather. For now while I’m still human, I still have human responsibilities to my family. I need to find medicine for her. I’ll be back after I go fetch a herb that will help.”

“You know not where… to find… the blue spider lily… but know… the location… of… a little… herb…?”

“Yes. I’ll be right back.”

“It’s… raining…”

“I know exactly where it is.”

“Where… is it…”

“It grows on the side of a cliff near here.”

“You… know… of plants… on a cliff… but not… the blue… spider lilies…? You… wreak… of… a liar…”

Tokito ran cold.

“And… to think… someone… as… clumsy… as you… would… try… in this… weather…? You…”

This was not the time for everything to crash and fail. His wife’s lungs were in a bad state, if Kokushibo were to do something to him now—

“…are… more… idiotic than I thought… stay here… my… stupid descendent. No wonder… you take… so long to progress…”

The demon very soon returned, unbothered by how his clothes and hair left dripping wet pools throughout their home. He did not know which herb it was so he had cleaned the cliffs of them, allowing Tokito to sort through and pick out the ones that would help. Tokito made them into a medicine to treat his wife, and while it eased her coughing over the following day, she was still in a worrisome state. Kokushibo rolled all six eyes before leaving again that night, returning very close to dawn with his hands full of medicines. “Something… in these… ought to do it…”

It took a little careful trial and error, but a few of them turned out to be very effective, and she soon made a complete recovery.

And now, Tokito had a debt to pay.

-----

He made progress in Sun Breathing. Something was breaking through, making sense in his muscles. Kokushibo watched all the more silently with each night. They both had the sense that there was a change coming soon. Tokito was on the last of his wits.

The time Kokushibo spent around his sons, influencing them… it likewise had to end.

“Grandfather,” he asked, his forehead against his thumbs. “Where do we go once I can no longer be in the sun?”

“You can reside here… as long as that person… allows you to… you want… to watch over your sons… do you not…?”

“I don’t know that much about demons. But if I become one, they’ll be in danger, won’t they?”

“…I will make certain… no harm… will come to your family…”

Tokito closed his eyes with a sigh. “Thank you.”

“Of the two of them… Muichiro… may also… be of use… to that person…”

“Ghh!” his whole chest tightened as much as his throat.

He had let this go on too long. How could he find them? How could he find the Demon Slayers? How could he do without ‘that person’ knowing?

----- The sun! Whatever action he took, it had to be under the protection of the sun!

“Tokito, good to see you!”

“It’s been months!”

“You had us worried.”

And humans! There was a strength in humans he couldn’t forget, and must always find himself humbled by. Anything he could ever accomplish on his own was so small, but with the help of more people! “Thank you for keeping us in mind! My wife fell ill a while, but she’s recovered now.”

“Psst. Are you still, you know?”

“You know?” another one asked, biting her lip and rolling her eyes back a second. “You know?”

“Ah… ah!! Yes!”

“Not to worry, lad,” an old man patted his shoulder. “Your family’s fallen on hard times, and that’s a shame. We’ve spread word of your family, and it’ll reach the right ears soon.” With a grin, the old lady next to him pointed to a crow flying overhead.

“Ahhh!” his eyes watered, and he bowed so low his face nearly hit his knees. “Thank you so much!”

“Hold your head up, young man. Do your roots proud!”

Yes. Even if his roots were Kokushibo, he could not allow himself to lose his humanity. There was still hope!

-----

Tokito had to protect his family. This Breath had a power, a power strong enough to make ‘that person’ want to rid the world of anyone who could use it. Maybe it was ungrateful to hone it as a gift to his eventual rescuers, a weapon that they might use.

A weapon they might use against Kokushibo, the ancestor who had spent years teaching it to him.

After a long day of training in the rays of the sun and well into the night, Tokito returned to his home, already dark inside. Muichiro and Yuichiro were wrapped up in their futon and using Kokushibo’s knees for pillows. All six of his eyes opened slowly, focused solely on Tokito. “You’ve… grown much stronger… it’s time soon… for a sword…”

-----

A knock came at the door. “That’s odd,” his wife blinked her big green eyes to it. They were not used to visitors.

“I’ll get it!!” Tokito shouted with a smile and bounded over to it. Their cry for help had been answered! It had to be buff, strong swordsmen, ready to rescue them and eliminate the demon—

He pulled wide the door, and against the light, there was the silhouette of two small children, and a demure lady in a traveling kimono.

No, this was wrong. Something was wrong. There was something special about these people, but they were not the Demon Slayers he waited for. As his breath tightened, the woman searched his face with growing concern. One of the children at her side looked inside the house, starting first on the woman with the big green eyes, and then the two identical children with long hair, staring back at the door while their Go board was illuminated by the outside light, and then to the dark corner of the house, where a demon sat and stared back.

“Ubu… ya… shi… ki?”

-----

(((And then, the author who only wanted to write a short crack fic, put the fic away, scared by the evil she had unleashed.)))

#this all started with a dramatic manga reading #and this was also a delight to read aloud as I edited #no recording this time though #my fics #my art #my nice art #my dumb fics #Kokushibo #tokitou muichirou #tokito muichiro

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