#...learn to embrace the idea that nobody can or should hold power over you to tell you if you're right in your identity or not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alexa-fika · 4 months

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okay hold up I just a.. unique idea

Im rewatching OP and im at sabody arc, n Laffy jist knocked the shit outta the noble

Idk who to ask this for but id love to see how'd you'd write a character reacticing to a noble trynna BUY child reader..

Or perhaps how mihawk would react with them trynna buy winged!child!reader?? IDK IT JIST SPROUTED

Do with as you will👹

Embracing Feelings and Family (Rayleigh x gn!winged!child!reader)

A/N: Not sure how to feel about this one., I think is really mid, maybe it’s just because of the dark nature of the piece itself but idk. I think this goes without saying based on the request but beware of the dark undertones of this piece as it portrays human slavery and auctioning. I couldn’t come up with something for mihawk so I went with our favorite grandpa

Dividers by @/saradika

“Up next, we have ourselves a true rarity! This one will blow your minds; we have a winged child! You can fly it around as you want or even have them carry you around the skies! They can even deliver you special things in a fraction of a time!” The announcer enthusiastically explained

“Let us start the bid at 10 Million Berry! Who offers 10 Million Berry?!”

“Let me go, you Jerks! Im not an item!” The child growls, banging on the cage’s bars

Charlos awes childishly before throwing out the first bid

“It’s a big Bird! It’s a Big Bird! 50 million Berry!” He yelled out joyfully before waving happily to the child in the cage

“Grandpa will get you all! Grandpa will save me, you gross creeps!”

The bidders ignore the child’s threats, continuing to bid

“60 million!” A man in the back screams

“80 million!” Another man hollers back

“I’ll do 800 million!” Charlos shouts back while waving his arms frantically in the air excitedly

“D-Does somebody bid any higher?”

“800 million….” “Awe, man, I was excited to have it too!” The crowd mutters

“Going in 3!

Going in 2!

Going in 1!

Sold!

The winged child goes to Saint Charlos for 800 million berry!”

Reader screams as they open the door to their cage and begin pulling on the chains, trying to pull them out and take him toward Charlos.

“Don’t touch me!” They sneered, throwing a kick toward the handler that was closest to them

The handler dodges out of the way and gives them a look.

“Rude little one, don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” The handler growls

“You have just been bought for a very generous amount of money for no one less than a Saint himself! A nobody like you should be Grateful!” They turn towards The Saint and bow

“A-Apologies for its insolence Saint Charlos; if I may, I’ll gladly teach it some manners for you; no need to trouble someone of your status to teach slaves some tricks.”

Charlos groans, sticking his finger in his nose.

“Could you hurry it up? I want to fly it!”

“Yes, Yes, of course; im sure you must be extremely busy, Saint Charlos. I promise not to take more time than is needed!” they assure him, turning around towards the child

“Now come here, you stupid brat,” they growl, raising a baton towards them.

“You will learn to listen!" the exclaim, bringing the baton down, but instead of receiving a blow, the man before them falls to the ground, knocked unconscious.

Reader sighs with relief when the man falls to the ground, the people in the auctioning house following the familiar pattern they have come to expect from their grandpa’s powerful Haki

“Grandpa!” They say, trying to flutter their way to Rayleigh but are cut short due to the chains binding them, causing them to plummet to the ground

“Ow”

“Geez, Reader.”

Rayleigh sighs calmly as he wrenches the chains from them easily, not paying any mind to the explosions that followed once they were removed.

“You seem to be able to get yourself in all kinds of trouble,” He says calmly as he sets the child back down

“Haven’t I told you not to get near this place and much less showing off those wings of yours?”

“What was it this time?” He asks as he looks them over for injuries

“I tried to fly higher…but a wind current caught me, and I couldn’t get myself out from it; it dragged me here, and they brought me here.”

“A wind current?” Rayleigh asks curiously

“One strong enough to drag even you, that’s pretty surprising, to say the least,” He says as he continues to look them over

“Are you alright? Have you sustained any injuries?”

“Im okay.”

“Alright, good to know,” He says as he scoops them up and leaves the wretched place.

“That must have been scary, huh? Im sorry it took me so long to get there; my body doesn’t move the way I want to anymore.”

“I wasn’t scared,” they mutter

“It’s okay, you know.”

“What?”

“To be scared for one’s life from time to time it’s not something one should be ashamed to admit; it doesn’t make us any less brave; you have the right to be scared, just as much as you have the right to be brave.”

“Your feelings are real; you shouldn’t deny them,” He says as he continues to carry them

They stare at him as their eyes begin to water

He smiles gently

“Just let it out, Reader; no one will think less of you for being scared.”

They hug him tighter, diving their head in his shirt as sobs start escaping them

“T-They kept calling me ‘it,’ they kept saying how they would fly me around like I was a kite,” they sob

He ran his fingers through their hair while he let them continue to cry, hugging them back tightly as he did.

He couldn’t help the anger he felt rising when thinking about what had happened inside the auction house

He rubs their back gently as he continues to walk

“Nothing that they told you in it is true; Reader, do not listen to their words; you are invaluable and your own person, not someone to be owned,” He says

“I -I know b-but the way they said it, they meant it, Grandpa; I was nothing but an item for them to use in their eyes.”

He pulls them a bit more tightly as he did

"I know, some people are like that, wretched beings who enjoy stepping in other people and causing them misery simply because they can."

“You are someone special to me; always remember that; you are the biggest treasure for me and your grandmother,” He says gently as they rub their back

"Now what do you say we go back to the shack and ask Grandma to make you your favorite drink?" they offer, chuckling when they feel the child nooding

"Can we add extra chocolate to it?"

"Anything you want, Reader," he smiles, knowing that it would take a long time and effort to build their confidence and sense of security back to where it was after everything that had happened, but they would get there together.

Ya’ll I have summoned my choice wheels to do some platonic!reader x character, not child reader, normal age reader but still platonic 👀 Had to fight to find some good roulettes.

Taglist

@imaginarydreams

#one piece x reader #one piece #one piece x child!reader #one piece fluff #one piece imagine #rayleigh x reader #one piece rayleigh #silvers rayleigh #dark king rayleigh #rayleigh x child!reader #rayleigh x child! reader #rayleigh x you #rayleigh x y/n #rayleigh x gn reader #rayleigh x shakky #one piece x gender neutral reader #one piece x gn reader #shakky x gn reader

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mageofmindfr · 8 months

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Could you analyze page of life? Thank you and have a good day!

Haha, sorry for the long wait, life happened (haha, life). Uhm. Yeah I usually think up some sort of intro to the posts but now I’m just coming up blank, so, let’s just get to it?

Anyways, what do we know about the Page class, to begin with?

Pages are a class centered around self-growth. A lot of sburb/sgrub is based on allowing the players to grow more as people, but Pages have a lot to achieve in the span of the game, and as such we barely see a glimpse of what a fully realized Page can do in the source material at all, except that they are considered one of the most powerful classes out there.

Pages generally adapt traits of their Aspect into their personality, and grow more into themselves as they do so. There’s a lot of work in being a Page, and not everyone is built for it, because you need the ability to learn to look at yourself in a non-judgemental way and think of ways to improve yourself that are feasible and not just “I want to be better”. And that’s hard to do.

As Pages need to learn more about themselves and their aspect (and sometimes just the world at large), they’re very receptive to new ideas and concepts, and can have very flexible mindsets when it comes to certain things (and yet, unfortunately, usually not themselves). Pages can be very earnest and genuine people, which can lead them to accidentally learn things harmful to both themselves and the people around them, and they have to work very hard to unlearn such things on their journey.

So Pages need to learn to embrace their aspect in order to become the best versions of themselves they can be. What about the aspect, then?

Life is… an interesting aspect, in that all the Life players we meet in homestuck are members of the Peixes family. So all Life players are very confident in themselves, at least by the time we meet them at first. And also Life as an aspect tends to push people towards leadership positions? Like, Meenah didn’t particularly want to be an important princess and ran away over that. Feferi wants to take over Alternia and make the world a better place. And Jane is also a princess kinda. Idk Jane gives me a headache in terms of what exactly she’s considered an heir of. Too many timeline intersections to decide whether her being the heir to the crocker brand (or. whatever?) has any impact on how much power she actually holds. I’m so confused about that.

Anyways. Life players like to be in charge. They know their plans and listen to their teammates. A good Life player is someone to look up to and trust with ideas and plans, and a formidable enemy should you be the opponent instead of an ally. They might not be as heartfelt as Heart players or as creative as Space players, but a Life player on your side is pretty much always a good thing? Unless they’re a thief or a destroyer class, in which case. Maybe not so much.

Life players are usually very headstrong about stuff; they know a lot about the way the universe works, not in the way space and time players do, but simply in the way where they understand how some things can have some outcomes and sometimes refuse to hear otherwise, especially if it doesn’t fit with what they already decided upon.

So, with all that (very little rambling) in mind, what would a Page of Life be like?

There’s a lot to consider in this combination, which makes it feel very volatile. I think this is a classpect where lunar sway has a lot more importance than, say, a Sylph’s or a Heart player’s situation.

A Page of Life is someone who is both very confident in their choices, while also constantly doubting their positions as leaders. But it’s not like they can just choose to relegate, because nobody else would volunteer to pick up the role otherwise. In a session where someone else has more charm or energy for leadership, the Page might simply sit tight and watch the other leader learn nothing from their mistakes, but nobody would want them as the leader, not even them. They might grow in that quiet corner enough to stand up and say enough is enough and take charge anyways, but you can never be certain.

A Page of Life can also go the exact opposite direction, and be a person who really wants to lead but has no idea how. In which case they can simply lean away every time they make a mistake. This Page would need to learn that some times you fuck up, and that’s ok, but you should learn from it and admit you’re not perfect before your team gets sick of your blaming everyone else’s plans. Listen to the other members of your group, let them voice ideas, and don’t be hasty when pointing fingers.

Either way, a Page of Life needs to learn to learn from their mistakes. That’s how people grow, even if facing your fuck ups is usually the most mortifying thing to do. The Page won’t let go of their leadership position once they have it, even if they don’t like being a leader, because nobody else would step up, or at least nobody they would trust with these people.

I think a Drospit dreaming Page of Life would be too headstrong and would need to learn to listen to others on their team, learn to let go and also understand that pointing fingers won’t help anyone. They need to learn to be proud of their position on the team, even if they make mistakes, because then the others will see you as dependable and confident, which you absolutely can be.

Alternatively, a Derse dreaming Page would lean too far into “what-if”s, would focus on all that they haven’t done rather than what they did, and there would be their downfall. Focus on the future, learn from the past, and do your best to remember that the present is still the future’s past and you can always learn more, about your team and your goal and yourself.

A grown Page of Life can be a really good leader, someone who the group trusts and depends on and comes to with ideas and problems because they know you can solve it. Don’t let the past’s mistakes take your future away from you.

Anyways, sorry for the long wait (and also sorry to everyone else sending asks and getting ignored, I promise I’m working on it. Just. Very slowly) and also sorry this is not at all edited whatsoever, I don’t have energy to make sure I don’t repeat myself too often. Just. I hope this is coherent enough for you to learn something? Maybe? Or just to have fun, if that’s what you’re looking for…

#classpect #classpect analysis #homestuck #homestuck classpect #life aspect #page class #page of life #honestly pages of life out there yall great people I'd probably want one of yalls on my sburb team

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astrologyandlife · 3 years

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29° and 0° in astrology

the 29th and 0 degrees are said to be "critical" degrees in astrology, meaning that anything sitting in these degrees have a special influence on its expression and impact on the rest of the chart. so, i thought it would be a good idea to explore these two degrees and what they could mean for you guys!

part i: the 29th degree

the 29th degree is the very last degree of any zodiac sign. it is said to be the anaretic degree. here, the most difficult challenges related to the placement in question are presented, as everything else has been mastered. there is also a sense of inevitability with this placement. this is often marked by a turning point in the individual’s life.

sun – the ego and identity are strong, but there could be external circumstances that don’t allow the individual to express themselves in a completely authentic or transparent way. they must reconcile who they are inside with how they act. at times, they feel like an imposter, or like they are selling out to others. they know who they are, but do other people? this feeling that something is physically blocking them from existing impacts every action they take. they must figure out what is holding them back from complete self-expression and give themselves permission to be themselves in spite of this.

moon – this is where the most complex, desolate emotions a person can feel lie—the kinds of emotions that make you think nobody could possibly understand your experience. as a result, there is a profound sense of isolation and a difficulty integrating their emotional experiences into their self-expression. this only increases the intensity of the emotions, creating many situations of turbulence. sometimes the individual ends up completely blocking their emotions off to cope. only by facing their emotions head-on can they assuage these feelings and achieve a balanced state.

mercury – there is a tendency to get stuck in vicious cycles involving self-doubt and overthinking here. as a result, they sabotage their own efforts to make good decisions and communicate clearly. even a genius can make a fool out of himself. there can be this issue where they overthink sometimes and don’t think enough other times. they have this nagging feeling that they are missing some piece of information that is undiscovered or concealed from them. the final lesson is to trust the knowledge and experience they have to make the right decision.

venus – a profound sense of loneliness is pervasive throughout their life, as though every relationship they could have now would be empty and devoid of true connection. it’s entirely possible for these individuals to have trust issues, fall into unhealthy patterns in their relationships, and avoid intimacy. perhaps there is a part of themselves who feels they are unlovable in some way, or there is this one thing wrong with them, which they must forgive completely, the same way they would forgive and love another person.

mars – a desperation to act conflicts with a lack of confidence in their capability to do so. often this leads to them being frozen in the headlights like a deer, thinking, I have to do something but what if it’s wrong? the balance between too much and too little is blurred, leading to inconsistency and turbulence in their lives. they often end up in situations where they are forced to make snap decisions. re-calibrating their approach to conflict and matching their energy to the situation will relieve this problem.

jupiter – without thinking, these individuals over-indulge and rely on their luck and natural talents in some way. they want more of something, and it’s almost as though there is no satisfaction through receiving it. there is both a sense of hollowness and complacency that permeates as a result, and they forget how to materialize success through their own efforts. to remedy this, they must seek out growth, exploration, and expansion in its purest sense, to open their minds to a higher being or knowledge.

saturn – restrictive patterns are almost always the issue here. these individuals deprive them of something in their lives, not allowing even a moment of pleasure or reprieve from the overwhelming sense of responsibility they feel. external circumstances, especially in early life, have placed an undue burden on them, in some cases leading them to do anything to escape any responsibility placed on them later in life. to fix this, they have to let go of the guilt and fear they feel to give themselves back their agency.

uranus – how can they move forward? where is there to go that hasn’t been gone to before? in the same way that the sun in this degree struggles to find true authenticity in this liminal space, so too do these individuals struggle to find progression. somewhere they got stuck and stopped embracing their own unique qualities, which has made it impossible for them to then accept anything else. the final turning point here is to open their mind completely, to embrace entirely the open possibilities of the world.

neptune — this is the deepest recesses of this planet, where material reality as we know it does not even exist. at its most extreme, these individuals find it hard to live in this world because reality is simply too harsh for them in some way. escapism exists in its most extreme form, and the subconscious is too influential. and so, they need to escape themselves. here, the power has been given to a force that is not the individual, but rather something external to them. the task is to give this power back to the conscious individual, to escape the dream they have created for themselves and return to reality.

pluto — here, the complete death has occurred for the person. they have experienced the transformation, the change, and the end of the cycle. perhaps they have experienced in many times in their life. but the last stage hasn’t occurred yet. they become stuck before the rebirth stage, unable to complete the process. thus, the same situation happens over and over, re-opening wounds. the final turning point is to accept the change and open themselves up completely to renewal, to move on for good. lay it to rest.

part ii: the 0 degree

in contrast, the 0 degree is the very first degree of any zodiac sign. this is where the traits of the sign are most clearly and cohesively expressed, and also where there is the most to learn. you express this placement in a very raw, almost untouched way.

aries – there is a childlike innocence and naivete here, as well as an exaggerated impatience and sense of urgency. they feel that there is no time to wait. strong desire to be first and be a leader, even if they don’t know how to be one. there’s almost like a reckless quality to them. extremely assertive to a point of being hostile when others tell them what to do.

taurus – they are stubborn and fixed to the point of being unable to budge. it’s essentially impossible to stop the momentum once they’ve started, and they’re in it for the long haul. they can get stuck in their thinking and behavior patterns, doing the same thing over and over. absolutely must have stability and security in situations or they won’t commit.

gemini – absolutely no tolerance for boredom or lack of activity. they have to be doing something at all times, and often more than one thing. they’re extremely scattered. their curiosity drives them and they’re always asking questions or trying to learn more. they are constantly taking in information and changing their mind, never able to “settle.”

cancer – sensitive and emotional to the point where they can’t hide their feelings. here, there is someone who is very shy, cautious, and puts a protective shell around themselves. they have an intuition that is spot-on. very needy and moody. plays the role of caregiver and can be seen as a motherly figure. empathy is turned up all the way.

leo – they are completely self-focused and wants to be the center of attention. they want people’s eyes on them at all times, and they know how to light up a room. natural actors and tend toward being extremely dramatic. there is a sense of complete confidence in their abilities and pride in themselves. they refuse to settle for less than what they believe they deserve.

virgo – devoted to the service of others, typically in the form of providing feedback, criticism, and a helping hand. very critical and vocal about imperfections. they have an eye for detail that is unmatched. any form of disorganization or chaos is distressing to them, and they have highly specific routines and rituals. mind is constantly running to analyze and process information.

libra – cannot be alone whatsoever, and they are constantly seeking out connections with others. they are a complete pushover and seek out compromise in every situation. there is a desire to always seem agreeable and likeable. they often find themselves mediating for others, and there is an extreme need for harmony and balance. indecisive to the point of being paralyzed/hurt.

scorpio – the most private you’ll ever meet, and it’s impossible to get information out of them. feels the need to keep everything to themselves. has tons of secrets. they are super obsessive and will latch on to things quickly. needs control or to feel powerful in any situation. constantly on the defensive and trying to psychoanalyze the situation.

sagittarius – have an attitude of “it will all work out, don’t worry” even when they should be worrying. it’s impossible to tie down or get them to settle, because they have an intense need for freedom at all times. blindly faithful and optimistic. have a tendency to do things completely spontaneously. can feel claustrophobic when unable to freely act.

capricorn – absolutely rooted in tradition, even to the point of being narrow-minded. they constantly have to be going after success or achievement. the sense of responsibility is always present, which can lead to feelings of guilt or failure. an old soul from the beginning. a sense of “I have to get this right and prove myself” in anything they do.

aquarius – always has to be moving forward and making progress. extreme quirks are very possible here. highly open-minded and non-judgmental, and almost nothing surprises/shocks them. a savant, genius, or revolutionary. always at odds with figures of authority or traditionalists. a humanitarian to the extreme. they are ahead of their time.

pisces – hyper-sensitive to subtle influences and can be very spiritual or superstitious as a result. there’s an ever-present need to escape in some way, and they usually and have vivid imagination/rich fantasies. there can be a sense of directionlessness or shapelessness. the ultimate chameleon.

sun - feels the need for validation of who they are from others, projects a ton of confidence that they may not really have, very performative and forthright in expression. moon - often blindsided by their emotions, has difficulty realizing their needs and wants, less polished about handling their feelings. mercury - always curious and wants to know more, may present as a know-it-all or assert authority over topics, venus - loves the newness of relationships, craves connection and romance, wants to be well-liked by others, rejection is hard for them. mars - always in "go" mode, lots of energy and motivation, can be quick to anger or rile up, ends up in dangerous situations a lot. saturn - inherently assumes responsibility, has to learn lessons multiple times, tries to be disciplined and fails often. jupiter - lots of faith and optimism, definitely naive at heart, open to new experiences and chances for growth. uranus - has a lot of small quirks, open-minded and progressive, has a mindset of wanting to keep moving forward. neptune - rich imagination and a love for fantasy, feels directionless or like the possibilities are endless. pluto - may struggle with changes or transformations, lots of growth ahead of them, a strong presence that is very raw.

finally, i'd like to link some resources for further reading:

· https://www.astro.com/astrology/aa_article190801_e.htm (my favorite--super in-depth and peer-reviewed/published!)

· https://advanced-astrology.com/anaretic-degree/

· https://www.astrologyweekly.com/blog/29-degrees-the-anaretic-degree/

#other #this one took a couple months to put together due to needed to do heavy research!#astrology #degree theory #degrees #astro #natal chart

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sepublic · 3 years

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The Golden Guard: Eda’s Dark Parallel?

Does anyone else think that the Golden Guard actually reminds Lilith a LOT of Eda, specifically Eda as a kid, during the good old days before she got cursed?

Think about it… They’re both sassy, hot-headed teen prodigies with an owl motif and yellow attire. And the way Lilith angrily talks about the Golden Guard, it seems her feelings of resentment mirror how she felt towards Eda back when they were kids? Lilith, who was by-the-book and traditional, worked so hard… And then there’s this younger person with an Owl motif who just swoops in out of nowhere and through talent, completely outclasses her!

If you go with the idea that Lilith wanted Gwendolyn’s approval and had to compete with Eda over that… Then for all we know, maybe Lilith lowkey wanted Belos’ approval as well, but felt like she was being cheated out of that with the Golden Guard, who kept stealing the spotlight from her!

Like she was afraid he’d take her spot as head of the Emperor’s Coven, the way Lilith feared that Eda would win the initiation duel back when they were kids… And lo and behold, the Golden Guard DID take that! Granted Lilith left an obvious vacancy from her own betrayal of Belos so of course he took that spot, but still; It’s quite a sore spot.

In some ways, perhaps Lilith is aware of this, deep-down or not; She might see the Golden Guard as just Young Eda, but without any of the emotional connection, nor any redeeming qualities; If he does have them, again, it’s not like Lilith knows the Golden Guard well enough to know these traits, much less take them into account.

LOTS of text and speculation and analyses below!!!

The Golden Guard is even sixteen years old… Which, is very likely EDA’s age, back when her and Lilith competed for the Emperor’s Coven! That can take on a whole new, dark meaning for her…

Perhaps Lilith is low-key disturbed by the Golden Guard’s existence, because he reminds her too much of Young Eda? Eda, before she was cursed- So it’s like the memory of her is coming back to haunt Lilith, in the form of someone who has no concern for Lilith whatsoever to hold him back, unlike the actual Eda.

And in a way, it’s a horrible reminder that some things never change, that some things stay the same and Lilith can’t get past them, she can’t outgrow it like she thought she did; Because even now, even as head of the Emperor’s Coven, there’s still a 16-year-old prodigy with an owl motif and yellow attire, who is sassy and playful and mischievous, who threatens to upstage Lilith’s self-esteem and sense of power. Somebody Lilith is afraid of; Thirty years later, and she STILL has to deal with this kind of person in her life, but it’s worse because she’s actually older and should be better, yet somehow isn’t…

Who knows? Maybe Lilith even recognized the similarities to Eda, enough to actually be sympathetic to the Golden Guard at first? Perhaps she, on some level, saw the Golden Guard as a way to vicariously redo her past with Eda, but without the mistakes… Maybe she tried to be nice to the Golden Guard, but then he quickly turned out to be a snob, he’s not REALLY Eda; So Lilith settled on never cursing him like she did Eda, but then otherwise decided that she didn’t owe him any love and could just quietly loathe his guts.

Lilith failed Eda in part because she was an older sister who abandoned her in a time of need, but there’s not really that expectation with the Golden Guard, so why bother? She’s got enough on her plate as is, and an ACTUAL Eda to worry about, to look after, to be concerned for and patch things up with.

I’ve even seen people make the very good point that in a lot of ways… The Golden Guard is like a Dark Eda? In the sense that, he’s Eda, had she joined the Emperor’s Coven as a kid. He’s a look at Young Eda, if she didn’t reject the Coven System, and joined Belos- Reveling in her own talent and power as granting her ‘special treatment’ over the rest, so any downsides to the coven system weren’t HER problem anyway!

Again, this adds another layer to the Golden Guard being very reminiscent of Young Eda, and even current Eda as well… Except, he never lost his magic and was never cursed. Maybe that’s another thing he unknowingly haunts Lilith over; He’s lowkey a reminder of what Eda could’ve been, had Lilith not been selfish and a coward, or had she communicated better. Yet at the same time, he’s frustrating- Because the Golden Guard is like the worst parts of Eda, the parts that Lilith hated and made her resentful…

And this constant reminder of the past, of her own issues with Eda back then that culminated in the curse- It could’ve made it a LOT harder for Lilith to really resolve things with Eda, because this kid keeps reminding her why she was so angry, and it’s impossible for her to move on because the Golden Guard isn’t some distant memory, but an actual person who continues to threaten her, the way Eda had…

And of course, the Golden Guard reminds Lilith of the Eda she lost; The happy, carefree Eda who wasn’t cursed, the Eda she could’ve had in a sense. The Eda that Lilith in some ways wanted, yet is forced to confront and acknowledge is a very obnoxious and terrible person that makes her unhappy…

And this kind of rude reminder that the Eda that Lilith wanted would’ve continued to make her miserable, if not moreso, is not something she appreciates shattering her dreams and low-key denial, of a world where things had just been a little different.

The person you’re trying to get, maybe get BACK, wasn’t so great after all- So you just have to move on, and be glad for the Eda who IS happier with her life and more mature, despite being older and more cursed. You gotta move past your guilt Lilith, and realize that Eda is in a better place- Not that she ever needed the curse, but she doesn’t quite need saving from the parts of her life she actually chose for herself, in part to be kind to Lilith no less! Because I bet Lilith believes that deep down, she didn’t deserve Eda’s kindness, so she wishes to reverse that compassionate decision of Eda’s that only resulted in Eda suffering because of how terrible Lily secretly is.

But, back to the subject; There’s more similarities to Eda and the Golden Guard, especially at the end of Separate Tides; How he makes an ominous warning before casually, happily yelling “BYYEEEE!!!”, just like Eda when she warns Luz about trying to have a Moonlight Conjuring in Hooty’s Moving Hassle, before heading off to the Night Market. His widow’s peak even bears a decent resemblance to Eda’s, doesn’t it? Which…

Combined with all of the talk about bird motifs being a Clawthorne thing, it DOES raise many questions about the Golden Guard’s potential connection to Eda. Is he some long-lost son? A third child that Gwendolyn had later in life, because witch biology might allow them to do that? Some homunculus, crafted from bits of DNA from Eda, and maybe even Belos? Belos does seem weirdly fond and trusting of him, the two are placed together in the Season 2 outro when nobody else, not even Kikimora, is there; And of course, the Golden Guard wields a staff, red magic, and fleshy creations, VERY similar to Belos…

I can’t say for sure- But the idea of the Golden Guard as an alternate Eda is fascinating. An Eda who became completely arrogant, and didn’t stop to care about others; Her cockiness and mischief becoming cruel and obnoxious, essentially the worst parts of Eda, down the path she’d always dreaded. A look into another life, a different choice in such a pivotal part of her past… Personally, I LOVE this kind of dark parallel of a character, so I’m hoping these similarities are commented upon in-universe, assuming they’re not outright literal!

In a way, the Golden Guard could haunt Eda, because he reminds her of herself… Of her carefree youth, but what she could’ve had… But also, the terrible things she’d done. And obviously Eda despises the coven system too much to really change her mind, and it’s safe to say that the Golden Guard is not at all what she wanted to ever become… But still, it’s a neat bit of character writing and parallelism. If Belos is like a Dark Luz, what Luz could’ve been had she not grown… And the same could apply between King and Kikimora;

Then who knows? The Golden Guard could be a Dark Eda, who got by talent and continued to take things for granted. An Eda who swore loyalty to Belos and was embraced by the emperor for her skill and ability. Jovial and cheery, but without any of the actual compassion that makes this genuine with Eda. An immature brat who never grew up (granted he’s only sixteen and hasn’t gotten the chance), unlike Eda. And if the Golden Guard is an alternate Eda;

It’s fascinating how his roles are reversed with his alternate Luz… The Eda parallel is younger than the Luz parallel, learning from them, and taking after their motifs as well! But I guess it’s not all too surprising, with how Eda and Luz both learn from one another, though I suspect Belos and the Golden Guard aren’t as mutual, but who knows?

It does make you wonder about Kikimora and King as potential mediators between these duos, whose placement remains consistent… How does Kikimora, the King parallel, interact with her Luz and Eda? Did she become close friends with HER Luz, while, as Dana’s art suggests, she seems somewhat irritated by and resentful of her own Eda? So it’s like Eda and King never grew to be friends and conquer differences… As well as if King never grew to respect Luz and saw her as just a “f*cking nerd”?

With how Luz is taking after Eda, and possibly getting a Cardinal palisman to complete the Clawthorne motif as a new member of the family… Who knows? The Golden Guard could be an intriguing character for her to bounce off of narratively, maybe as someone Luz might have, in another universe, learned to look up to and admire? How well Luz’s relationship be with the Golden Guard, if they are a Dark Eda? And how can this indirectly show us about how Luz and Young Eda would’ve interacted, what Young Eda was like, what Lilith went through as a kid…

And, for all we know- The Golden Guard’s owl motif doesn’t hint at a pre-existing connection to the Clawthornes, but rather a future one… Maybe he’ll end up being adopted by Eda, the way Luz was? I’d love to see the Golden Guard become an evil older sibling who’s protective of Luz…

I ADORE that trope to death; Evil older brother with bright, younger sister, whom he cares about, and the sister cares for him too, even if it’s complicated because the sister believes in the brother to be better, while the brother doesn’t want to be better, or is at least reluctant about having to change…

I’d love to see another Hugo and Kipo dynamic, and actually… If the Golden Guard parallels Eda, then who’s his Lilith? Could it be Luz herself? I’ve talked before the similarities between Luz and Lilith, as kids who were bullied and struggled with a lack of talent, but made up for it with hard work and ingenuity; They’ll give you a lot of trouble for doing the right thing, but then happily leap at the opportunity if they think someone is improving.

And, as Separate Tides has also shown us; They both grapple with guilt over making Eda suffer, unintentionally to varying degrees. Luz and Lilith both learn that they’re not a burden and that it’s okay to ask for help, and come to terms with their guilt with Eda… If Belos and the Golden Guard are Luz and Eda reversed, then could Luz and the Golden Guard also be Lilith and Luz, reversed?

With the Eda parallel being the older sibling in this scenario… An alternate timeline where Eda and Lilith were the same people, but switched places in birth, and it was EDA who ended up being the cruel and toxic sibling who left the younger feeling demeaned and worthless. I imagine if that were the case, the Golden Guard’s toxicity would occur largely in the beginning, as he acts adversarial to Luz and mocks her, taunts her over Eda’s loss of magic, and her own glyphs no doubt; The Golden Guard doesn’t seem to acknowledge glyphs as a valid form of magic himself.

But then, if he were to get a redemption, the Golden Guard’s tune might change as he matures and learns to treat Luz more kindly… In a way mimicking how Eda really grew to care for Luz, but also the way Eda has begun to reconnect with Lilith, except with the Golden Guard as the one with the baggage and guilt.

And, a redemption might not be too implausible, because… He is literally only sixteen, the same age as Emira and Edric, and likely the same age as Eda when SHE was cursed. Younger than Lilith, when she made the worst mistake of her life, because she didn’t understand the coven system for what it truly was –and who could blame her?- and was grappling with a likely terrible mother in Gwendolyn… The Golden Guard is literally a minor, and possibly an overworked teen prodigy.

After all, the first glimpse of his personality Dana gave us, way back in 2020, was of the Golden Guard admitting that he was tired; And despite his usually cheery personality, all of our glimpses at his face behind the mask (symbolism!) have had him look likely serious and glum… But then again, we don’t see the lower half of his face, so who knows?

Perhaps the Golden Guard is abused and overworked by Belos, kind of like Amity with her parents… The Golden Guard is a child dealing with a very toxic influence, and a huge burden of responsibility no less. And with all the potential connections to Belos as maybe even a literal father, or at least a parental figure, it’s not hard to see why the Golden Guard would turn out so messed up. And the Golden Guard being ‘tired’ could be a connection to how Eda is left exhausted from her curse, too.

So, who knows? Because of his age, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect, or at least hope, for a redemption for this kiddo. But a recent sister show to The Owl House has taught me anything, kids aren’t free from death, and Infinity Train made it clear that you can humanize and sympathize and mourn someone who deserved better, yet ultimately dug their grave and was condemned to a sudden death because of that; All because they didn’t know any better, and really couldn’t have.

And on another note- Maybe the Golden Guard has owl motifs like Eda… Because in a lot of ways, he actually admires her? He admires the Owl Lady, or at least the certain ‘past’ version that others such as Lilith may have brought up… Maybe the Golden Guard seeks to supplant Eda the Owl Lady as The Most Powerful Witch in the Boiling Isles. Maybe he sees himself as Eda, but better, and this rebellious, hot-headed kid feels the need to prove himself by defeating someone he sees himself in.

Maybe the Golden Guard is like Lilith, as someone who wishes Eda could’ve joined the coven system, and he’s disappointed in how all her talent was ‘wasted’ on other things. Maybe the Golden Guard was disappointed in Eda losing her magic, losing further respect for his ‘problematic idol’, and/or he felt some validation and vindication in being a successor to Eda.

Does he hold some grudge? Did the Owl Lady’s power excite him, give the Golden Guard a goal to recklessly challenge and defeat, so he can experience the thrill of victory and add to this feeling of invincibility that teenagers, especially the talented ones, have?

Eda as a kid, and even now, has always been fond of spiting what others say she can’t do, or setting new precedents and accomplishments to prove herself. Maybe the Golden Guard is like that, and hopes to take on the onus of outdoing the Owl Lady; Perhaps he admires Eda, and wishes she could’ve joined a coven like him. As an outside admirer, he mourns Eda’s ‘potential’ in a way similar to Lilith, but different; Because he’s a kid who looks up to her, and not an older sibling that has an actual childhood with Eda. If so, then that’s another dark parallel to Luz;

After all, Luz got frustrated by Eda in Adventures in the Elements. So maybe the Golden Guard is someone who grew resentful of Eda for not living up to the legend he hoped, the image he wanted, sort of like Lilith! I’ll go out on a limb and even suggest him as a past apprentice, who unlike Luz, never learned to be patient and appreciate Eda’s teachings, so he turned to the coven system and Belos for easy gratification. He didn’t want to be challenged… And in that way, the Golden Guard could parallel my speculation on Belos, as also a Dark Luz.

So of course, it makes sense that Belos would recognize this same dilemma in the Golden Guard, and perhaps be sympathetic and take him under his wing for it. Eda might not recognize the Golden Guard because he’s changed a bit himself, is hiding his own identity –Lilith doesn’t seem to know much about the witch beneath the mask either, just the public image and façade- and Eda’s been having memory issues. Maybe this will add to the Golden Guard’s resentment, who knows? He really might just be a rebellious teen who Eda failed, unlike with Luz… And that could add to more envy, perhaps.

At the very least; Dana’s fondness for the Golden Guard takes on a whole new meaning… What with how Eda is pretty much one of, if not THE most favorite character of hers, the one who really jumpstarted this entire show and world to begin with… Having this other character she likes essentially be a canon AU version of that beloved creation, would certainly make a lot of sense! Dana likes Eda, she likes to show us about Young Eda; So a character who IS Young Eda, just on a different path, would likely appeal to her. We’ll see…

I think it’s worth noting that in her art of the Golden Guard, it depicts him as essentially a normal, lazy teenager who’s asking someone else to do his chore for him, while he lounges around to do something else. I could see a young Eda as occasionally fulfilling that role and asking her older sister Lily for a favor- And maybe this could allude to the Golden Guard being frequently exhausted from being overworked himself, hence “I’m tired” and wanting to extend his breaks as much as possible. We’ll just have to wait and see…

#the owl house #the owl house golden guard #the golden guard #the owl house the golden guard #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #the owl house belos #emperor belos #speculation #theory #analysis #essay #the owl house hunter

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songofwizardry · 3 years

Text

after everything is done, the mighty nein stay with each other.

not all the time, of course—but they have Sending spells, and letters, and at one point Essek gets hold of an extra sending stone, but still. they stay together.

Caduceus visits them all, one by one. makes the long journey down to Nicodranas, and meets Jester and Fjord and Kingsley on the beach. he brings dried fruits from his garden. they picnic in the shade of the Wildmother's lighthouse. he finds work to do wherever he wanders—there are hundreds of people, dozens of towns, in need of a healer, or someone to help with a farm, or someone to listen to them through their grief. the Wildmother occasionally guides him, the winds urging head East, or, find this gnome in this town. usually, though, he lets his feet guide him.

Fjord and Jester make their way up, down, the Menagerie Coast. after so long in the Empire and the Dynasty, they both find they've missed the coast they grew up on. Fjord picks up new crew, sometimes—young people looking for work on the docks, older ones who give obviously-fake names and don't answer questions. he pays them fairly, and teaches them the ropes, and treats them with kindness as someone once treated him with kindness, and lets the salt water and sea-air do their work. Jester finally sees Port Damali, and Feolinn, and Port Zoon, and they are lovely, even if she still thinks Nicodranas is the best. she leaves dicks in temples and on street corners, and once or twice, she sees a green-cloaked figure admiring her work. she sends messages every day, working her way through their family—just updates, about the dragon turtle they just saw, or how Kingsley is trying his hand at painting, or about the new crew members they've picked up.

the two of them find trinkets wherever they go. it starts off as a joke, Fjord saying, oh, we should definitely buy that box of buttons for Veth, I can tell her we found Buttonbeard. but then they keep going—a book of Lucidian folk-tales for Caleb, a strange pepper plant for Caduceus, an ocean-blue set of fighters' gloves for Beau. wherever they go, they find something that reminds them of their family, and they bring it back.

an expositor's work is never done, so Beau ends up back in Rexxentrum or Zadash at least once a year, often more (and maybe she goes back more often than she strictly needs to, but nobody needs to know that). she sees the house Caleb's found, a small place, not on the academy grounds, but close enough. she stays a few nights, and watches Caleb light the stove with a snap of steady fingers, and is introduced to a loud, demanding black cat, who doesn't have Frumpkin's infinite patience for their bullshit.

the seeds Caduceus gave her serve Yasha well. she goes back to the Blooming Grove in the spring, spends time with the Clays. learns more about the earth. gets more seeds. she and Caduceus spend time together, walking the grounds, tending the plants, tilling, and they don't say much.

when Marion goes back to Nicodranas, they all visit. Jester stays for the longest time, bouncing between spending time with her mother and teaching Luc prank ideas catching up with the Brenattos, but eventually, all of the Nein end up there. they take over several rooms of the Chateau, and stay up far too late (and let Luc stay up far too late with them), swapping stories and sharing drinks: Is Vandran re-reading Tusk Love again? You need to introduce him to more literature! and Wait, so when you say you and Essek were stuck in a snowstorm without the tower, that to-tally means you had to cuddle for warmth, right? and Did you actually just... walk to Uthodurn, Caduceus?

they don't let Essek disappear for long. sure, he does eventually drop off the face of Exandria, researching this or that, at one point sneaking back into the Dynasty to see his brother, but he always shows up again. Jester sends him messages. he and Caleb keep up a continuous stream of letters, eventually finding magical means to get them to each other faster. and with Teleportation spells, he's always visiting—a week in Rexxentrum, heavily disguised; almost a month with Caduceus, using his rose-patterned gardening gloves; a brief stint in Nicodranas, helping out at the Brenatto Alchemists. (a few years after Aeor, he spends more time in Rexxentrum. stays a month. then two. then six. then a year. eventually, he and Caleb get a second cat. and he cannot stay forever, but he still stays.)

for the first time in his life, Caleb has time. and so he takes it. slowly, he walks the streets of Rexxentrum, learning to love it again (he's not sure if he ever really stopped loving it). he works, slowly, with Beauregard—it might take their whole lives to dismantle the mess of power and abuse that the Assembly is; it will probably take even longer. but he keeps at it anyway. he goes back and forth between the Academy and the Soul; when Beau combs through questionable documents, Caleb asks questions; when the mages of the Academy and Assembly hold meetings, Caleb goes to them and keeps his eyes on the Martinet.

he starts teaching. he's not sure about it, at first—the Academy hurt, not just him, but so many others. but with Trent gone, he thinks—there can be a change. and he wants to feel the joy of new magic again, to watch new eyes come alight with it, he wants to show people how it can be used to help, and heal, and love, instead of hurt. so he starts teaching. it's joyous, and energising, and exhausting, and he watches his students – his students – all the while, for the slightest hint that they are being hurt, or forced, or coerced, or trained into something they don't want to be. he watches them grow, and learn. he pushes the envelope of treason, just a bit, talks of magic and wonder beyond the empire and its structures. and with every group, he teaches them the spell find familiar.

the Brenattos open up a new apothecary in Nicodranas. it's bigger, and brighter, and busier than the one in Felderwin—they get more herbs and more customers here, and with both Yeza and Veth in the lab, they're soon coming up with new concoctions, experimenting together. when Veth gets the itch in her bones (and she does, numerous times), she tracks down one of the nein, and wanders with them for a bit—visiting Rumblecusp with Beau and Yasha, a trip investigating Halas' halls with Caleb, a few weeks on the Lucidian ocean. she never stays long, and she always comes home. she hasn't broken that promise yet.

Luc grows up on the coast, and learns to swim. sometimes, she joins him.

when they get a house, she and Yeza – by unspoken agreement – find a place with two extra rooms, a sitting room large enough for several people to fit on the floor, and a garden. Yeza's food is almost as good as Caduceus', so it's no surprised that the nein come and visit, often. Yasha helps them grow beds of flowers in the garden. Jester and Fjord bring all manner of strange mementoes from the oceans. when the academy is closed, Caleb stays for months on end, helping her teach the teenagers of Nicodranas basic cantrips and how to pick locks during the day (we are unleashing a menace, he warns her, but he's smiling), and reading to Luc in the evenings.

they gather, together, in her house, too. sometimes for a special occasion (she and Yeza renew their vows in the garden), but often, for no reason at all. just to be together. there is space for all nine of them—she made sure of that. they talk, and laugh, and fall asleep in a chaotic pile in the Brenatto's living room.

in a few days, they will embrace, and separate, and head back to whatever they've been doing. but they will come back together, eventually.

after everything, the mighty nein stay together.

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heliads · 3 years

Text

Best Kept Secrets (Part Two)

Based on this request: “Wanda and the reader are married and the reader mom is Agatha but the reader does not know that…Then Agatha watches the reader having a good time with her family and Agatha is happy but sad because we get another flashback of the reader snapping their finger in order to destroy thanos and his army.”

part one / masterlist

Cameras continue rolling, boom mics lower. Episode begins.

Y/N looks around, at their family gathered nearby. There’s a white and red checked picnic blanket tucked around them, a water bottle sloshing noisily in their lowering grasp. Y/N’s wife, Wanda, is speaking to their two twin sons, Billy and Tommy, who are delighted over a grasshopper they’ve spotted among the emerald stalks beneath their feet. To any unsuspecting passersby, the scene would look perfectly normal, and it should be so, yet there’s still a cloud of unease lingering over Y/N’s face. For a second, Y/N didn’t think they were back at the Westview park but instead in some unfamiliar place.

It had happened just as Y/N was reaching for the water bottle. They had been kneeling, right hand outstretched, and then the scene had shifted around them. The sky had turned an ashy gray, the dew-drenched grass broken up into rubble and debris. Y/N had been kneeling in that same position, hand outstretched, but there was something wrong there, something that had filled them with this strange determined terror…

Y/N is jolted back to reality when their young son, Billy, turns to her with a concerned expression. “Is everything alright? You look too unhappy for a fun picnic.” A gentle smile slips onto Y/N’s face like a well-worn glove. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I was just finishing up my lunch. Speaking of which, it looks like you boys are done eating as well. Is there anything else you’d like to do while we’re here?” Tommy nods excitedly, bounding up from his position on the picnic blanket. “I saw the coolest dragonflies and bugs around us.”

Wanda laughs. “Doesn’t that sound interesting! Here, take these. You can catch us some insects to study.” With a flourish of her hand, Wanda turns two wooden serving spoons into identical butterfly nets, and hands one to each twin. They look at each other in excitement then dart off into the grass, swinging the nets with enthusiasm, if lacking somewhat in coordination. Y/N gives Wanda an amused stare. “What about the spoons?” Wanda waves a hand dismissively. “I can turn them back later. Sure makes packing easier to just change all the cutlery into toys.”

The audience laughs at that, and Y/N grins. “Speaking of which, let’s speed up the packing of the picnic basket.” With a gesture of their hands, all of the plates and utensils fly into the wicker basket in a flurry of purple sparks. Wanda nods appreciatively. “I’m going to have to learn that trick.” Y/N stands up, glancing around her at the paths leading out of the park. “Just curious, did you see Agnes walking around? I could have sworn I saw her just a few minutes ago.” Wanda frowns. “I don’t think so. Are you looking for her?” Y/N glances around one last time, then shrugs. “Not anymore, I guess.”

Billy, having just successfully snared a dragonfly, calls over to Y/N. Y/N walks over, admiring the insect with their son. Billy considers it one last time, then turns over the net and releases it. Y/N watches it go. “That’s a good choice. As much fun as it is to study interesting things, you always have to let them go in the end.” Billy nods sagely. “You know, I finally get why you and Mom work so well together.” Y/N smiles questioningly. “Why is that?” Billy stares out over the park, looking for more winged insects. “She always has so many thoughts in your head, and yours sometimes don’t show up at all. She’s noisy and you’re quiet, and it works out.”

Y/N tilts their head to the side, looking over at Billy. “What do you mean, I’m quiet?” Billy shrugs. “I can’t hear as many of your thoughts. It kind of reminds me of Agnes, actually. She does the same thing.” Y/N’s brow furrows, but they still allow a fond expression to cross their face. “Look at you go, using your powers. I think it’s amazing that you can tell all that already.” Billy beams, glad for the compliment, then races off after a recently sighted butterfly.

Y/N watches him as he chases after it, raising his net high in the air to successfully entangle the butterfly in the woven fabric. Y/N’s smile disappears from their face, however, as they watch the butterfly struggling in the net. As it flutters around, looking for a possible escape, the bright violet of its wings seems to darken, almost vanishing into empty gray. With every flutter of its wings, the purple leaches from the butterfly.

There’s another sight in Y/N’s eyes now. Y/N can still see that electric purple hue circling around something, can still see it trembling and disappearing into nothingness. But the violet isn’t clinging to a butterfly’s wings this time. No, it’s around a hand, Y/N’s hand, and it’s vanishing as Y/N’s heart rate seems to slow, because as the purple fades away so to does she, which means that Y/N is-

Y/N’s eyes widen, dragging them back to reality as Wanda walks up next to them. Wanda frowns at the look on Y/N’s face. “Are you alright? You look worried. I thought Billy specifically requested that you have a good time.” Y/N laughs at the joke. “As much fun as that sounds, it’s a lot easier to change someone else’s emotions than to fix your own.” Wanda makes a face at the camera. “You have no idea.” Laughter ripples down from the audience, and Y/N looks around for a second as if trying to find out its source.

Wanda puts a hand on Y/N’s shoulder, gently steering them back to face her once again. “You are feeling alright, yes? I just want to make sure everything is under control.” Y/N looks back at Wanda, but their expression is still tinged with unease. “It always is with you around, isn’t it?”

Cameras cut to B-Roll footage. Screen fades to black, but shortly opens on a new scene- Wanda and Y/N’s bedroom.

Y/N lies awake, staring at the ceiling. Beside them, Wanda sleeps peacefully, but Y/N seems unable to share in her quiet rest. Y/N closes her eyes, as if considering something, then slips silently from the blankets and out of bed. Wanda starts to stir, but then Y/N flicks her hands towards the cameras, and they turn away, shut down. Wanda returns back to her deep sleep, no longer concerned.

Cameras are unresponsive. Scene cuts to black.

Y/N quickly dons a pair of comfortable clothes before heading out of the house and down the block. They can still hear Billy’s voice echoing in the recesses of their head- I can’t hear that many of your thoughts. It kind of reminds me of Agnes, actually. She does the same thing. Y/N knows why Billy can’t hear their mind, it’s because of Y/N’s magic, but why would Agnes have the same ability?

After a couple of quiet knocks, Agnes’ front door opens. Agnes looks startled to see Y/N standing there, and hurriedly gestures for them to come inside, quickly shutting the door behind them. “Not that I don’t love spending time with my closest of friends, but can I get a reason for this late-night visit?” Agnes glances around her, but Y/N holds up a hand. “Don’t worry about the cameras- I shut them off. Nobody can see us right now.” Agnes’ head jerks up. “You know about the cameras?” Y/N inclines their head. “Only every now and then. I think I lose my memory of them sometimes because certain people want me to forget.”

Agnes nods in agreement, then a sudden movement outside in the street catches her eye. Agnes turns her head slowly to face the window and curses softly when she sees a figure moving down the street. Y/N follows her gaze. “Why is the mailman out doing his route? It’s the middle of the night.” Agnes grimaces. “Wanda must have sent him out to see where you were. Even unconsciously, she can still tell that you’re looking into things that you’re not supposed to know about.”

The mailman is almost at their window when Agnes’ hand moves almost imperceptibly, and the man looks the other way, avoiding Agnes’ house completely. Y/N’s eyes dart to Agnes’ hand, at the brief flash of indigo electricity that had danced around her fingers. “You have the same magic as I do. How is that possible?” Agnes faces Y/N with a look like a caged animal. “Why did you call me Agatha on our last visit?” She counters, and Y/N sighs. “I don’t know. It just came into my head. Now tell me- do you really have the same powers as I do?”

Agatha- for it is truly Agatha now- holds up a hand, allowing the purple sparks to flicker between her fingers. “It’s less of a power and more of a learned ability.” Y/N’s brow furrows as they consider this, and then their eyes widen. “I’ve never seen anyone with that same ability, and I shouldn’t ever, unless-” They break off, staring at Agatha. “I thought my mother abandoned me long ago. I thought she was dead. But she’s not, is she? She’s you.” Agatha nods once, and Y/N looks overwhelmed.

“You’ve known all along. You knew that I was your child and you never once looked for me? You could have told me when I first arrived. You could have never left me at all. Why do it then, for fun? Because you were sick of me, even though I was too small to know what you were doing?” Agatha winces like she’s been slapped. “I didn’t want to leave you! I had a coven, a coven with strict rules, and they made me give you up. I didn’t know who you were until a week or so ago when you arrived here, I swear it. I would have found you long ago had I known.”

Y/N’s breathing is harsh in their chest. “Do you mean it? You would have stayed with me?” Agatha nods. “Leaving you was one of my worst regrets. It haunted me every day.” Y/N stands there, as if in a trance, then rushes over, flinging their arms around their mother. Agatha seems frozen in place, then slowly wraps her arms around her child to return the embrace. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I never meant for this to happen.” Y/N nods. “I know. It’s alright now.”

Cameras return with a shower of ruby sparks. Scene opens in the Maximoff-L/N family kitchen.

Tommy is standing alone at the kitchen table, fixing himself a peanut butter sandwich. His brother is off in his room, trying to teach himself a new card trick he’d seen their Uncle Pietro do once. Y/N walks into the kitchen, and glances over at their son. “How’s the sandwich?” Tommy nods, his face a mask of complete concentration. “I have to get it just right. The perfect sandwich is key to the perfect day.” Y/N raises an eyebrow. “I can understand that. How do you know it’s perfect?”

Tommy carefully smears a last dollop of peanut butter onto his sandwich, reverently placing the two pieces of bread together. “I just know. With the right toastiness of the bread, and the crunchy peanut butter, perfectness was practically inevitable.” He snaps his fingers in satisfaction. Y/N flinches, staring at Tommy’s hand. Inevitable. The snap. Wait-

Another hand is snapping its fingers, another hand clad in a large golden glove. No, it was not a glove but a gauntlet. It’s not Y/N’s hand this time, it’s someone else’s, and someone else’s voice declaring that they were inevitable. And then there’s a voice coming from behind the figure, who whirls around in outrage, and it must be Y/N’s voice speaking now. Y/N replies, but most importantly they snap their fingers as well, the cloud of purple magic over their hand lit up by six gems spangled into the gauntlet on their own hand, and-

Wanda walks into the room again, forcing Y/N to return to the present moment. Wanda takes in the sight of Y/N, about to head through the door. “Where are you heading in such a rush?” She asks. “I was heading to Agnes’, actually.” Y/N says, and Wanda frowns. “Why do you keep bringing up Agnes? First at the picnic, then again here. I mean, she’s just our neighbour, right?” Y/N glances over at her. “Does it really matter? I just want to see her.” Y/N starts to turn away towards the door, but Wanda reaches out an arm to block their path. “Actually, I was thinking we should have a talk. Let’s go into the other room.”

Wanda’s hand is enclosed around Y/N’s wrist, practically dragging them away into a spare bedroom. Once the door is shut behind them, Y/N snatches their hand back from Wanda’s grip. “What’s gotten into you?” Wanda scowls. “What’s gotten into me? Y/N, you’ve been acting very strangely the last couple of days. I think you need to relax.” The word seems charged with some sort of energy, and Y/N takes a step back, as if to avoid it. “Are you trying to mind control me?”

Wanda’s lips tighten. “Why would I do that?” She says, forcing a laugh. Y/N raises an eyebrow. “Well, of all the ways to deny mind control, I have to say that was the least convincing.” Wanda folds her arms across her chest. “You sound paranoid. Why would I want to control your mind?” Y/N starts to pace back and forth across the room. “That’s the problem- I don’t know. I don’t know a lot of things, actually.” Y/N stops walking, and faces Wanda again. “I can’t remember anything about my life before we got to Westview. I know about my powers, and I know about you, but that’s it. Why is everything else a blank?”

Wanda frowns. “Aren’t I enough for you?” Y/N sighs. “You’re more than enough, Wanda, which is why it hadn’t occurred to me before now. I just keep feeling like something is wrong, and I need to wake up and figure out what it is, but every time I try I feel like you’re always there to stop me from remembering.” Wanda’s concerned expression shifts into a colder stare. “Don’t try to make me the villain. I will always care about you most of all, before anyone.” Y/N can’t return her gaze. “I wish I could believe that, but I keep starting to remember things. I think something happened to me, but I can’t remember what it was. You won’t let me remember what it was.”

Wanda’s eyes flash with ice. “I will do what I want. I’m doing everything to protect you, and I don’t know why you can’t be content with that.” Y/N’s face hardens. “I can’t trust you anymore, Wanda. You won’t let me.” Y/N strides to the door, throws it open. “I’d come up with one last snappy comeback for the show, but I suppose you’re in charge of all the scenes, aren’t you?” With that, Y/N storms away, leaving Wanda standing there in shocked anger.

Cameras focus on Wanda, who is reassuring the twins that everything is fine. Cameras do not pick up Y/N L/N, who is moving quickly towards the barriers of the town.

Y/N’s blood is pumping through their veins, surges of adrenaline making their eyes glow violet with power. There’s something on the tip of their tongue, a discovery that needs to be made. So, Y/N heads for the edge of town, towards the street where they first arrived in Westview. As they approach the city limits, Y/N’s head tilts up in awe. There’s a line designating the edge of town, and beyond that, a tall barrier glistening with magic. No other human would have been able to see it, but the magic of centuries of witches run through Y/N, and their eyes can pick up details that no one else can see.

Y/N comes to a stop in front of the town boundary, and reaches out a hand. Where their fingers touch the barrier, scarlet light is replaced by indigo. With a movement of their hands, Y/N draws aside the barrier as if it were a curtain, the light changing into purple wherever she walks. Through the boundary, Y/N can see the town beyond, but it lacks the charming simplicity of Westview- instead, there are armored vehicles and encampments, all of them military. Scores of soldiers stand guard, watching her approach. Just as Y/N fully steps through the boundary, however, they collapse to the ground.

Pain swirls around Y/N like a storm. As Y/N watches, fragments of their very being begin to drift away. It’s as if Y/N is being eroded by time itself, a statue being carried away to dust and rubble in the span of seconds. There’s a shout from across the encampment, and a woman with dark hair runs up to her. The woman - Darcy, Y/N can read her mind - is restrained by guards, but in a weakened gesture Y/N uses her abilities to pull the soldiers away from her. Darcy sprints up to Y/N, but she seems unable to save them. Y/N croaks out a question. “What happened to me?” Tears fill Darcy’s eyes. “You died in the battle against Thanos. You sacrificed yourself to save all of us.” As Y/N hears Darcy’s words, a sense of clarity seems to enter them, and Y/N’s eyes clear at last, even as her body breaks down into shards of pure magical energy.

Cameras stay on the Maximoff-L/N home, where Wanda and Agnes sit with the twins. Recordings do not pick up the incident currently occurring on the Westview boundary.

Billy turns to his mother suddenly. “Mom, something’s wrong with Y/N. I can hear their thoughts in my head.” Wanda looks up at him. “What do you mean?” Billy looks terrified. “Y/N’s in pain, so much pain. I can hear them screaming. Mom, I think Y/N is about to die.” Wanda and Agnes both rise at the same time, expressions of terror mirroring each other. Agnes murmurs something about having to go, and she quickly disappears out the door while Wanda does her best to locate her spouse. Wanda flings out her arms, eyes flashing scarlet with the magnitude of the power she is about to use. Around Westview, the boundary begins to expand.

As soon as Agatha closes the front door behind her, she instantly vanishes, appearing in the space near the boundary. She stares with an open mouth as the barrier surrounding the town glows an angry crimson, and glides forward across the ground. After a second, the boundary leaves behind a single body, lying alone in the grass. Agatha runs to it, and has to choke back a scream at the sight of her child.

Y/N should have healed. They should have started healing, they should not be in this much disrepair. Y/N is lying crumpled on the ground, watching their body begin to disintegrate away. Agatha kneels over her child. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you getting better?” Y/N smiles up at her. “The power of the Infinity Stones cannot be undone forever. I was called to die long ago, and Wanda can’t reform me for much longer.” Agatha shakes her head, tears starting to course down her cheeks. “I’m not ready to let you go. Not yet. I just found you.”

Y/N’s eyes glow with warmth, and they place a trembling hand on Agatha’s cheek. “We were never supposed to meet, so any hour together was already on borrowed time. I’m grateful to have this much.” Y/N’s head tilts to the side, as if listening to an approaching sound. “Wanda is coming. You’ll have to go before she gets here, because she doesn’t know who you really are.” Agatha is shaking her head in refusal. “I can’t leave you here. I can’t let you die.” Y/N’s hand clasps onto Agatha’s, gripping it tightly. “None of us can really die, not forever. I’ll stick around, even if it’s on the other side. Now go, before it’s too late.” Agatha takes in one last look at her child, then vanishes into the empty air, just as Wanda bursts into view on Y/N’s other side.

Wanda falls to the ground beside Y/N. “I didn’t want this to happen. I should have told you everything. Y/N, you-” Y/N cuts her off gently. ��It’s alright, Wanda. I know. I died at the battle against Thanos, and I would like nothing more than to be able to come back and stay here with you, but life has a way of not always following through.” For a second, the dying Avenger thinks it’s raining, until Y/N realizes that it’s just Wanda’s tears falling onto their cheeks.

Wanda forces back a sob as she watches Y/N’s body begin to dissolve away. “What do I tell the boys when you don’t return? How are we supposed to keep going?” Y/N smiles at her, pure and lacking in the bittersweet tinge that had always tainted it before. “The boys will have you, and that’s all any of us needed. You’re the one that will always matter, Wanda, even after I’m gone. I knew that when I met you, and I’ll know it even after I close my eyes.”

Wanda leans over, presses her forehead to Y/N’s. “I love you, Y/N. I love you so much.” Y/N laughs, the sound slightly tinny as their chest turns to ash. “I love you too. I’ll see you soon.” Wanda closes her eyes and kisses Y/N softly. When she opens her eyes again, she is kneeling alone in the middle of a grassy field. Y/N has finally been laid to rest.

Cameras begin to refocus on the Maximoff-L/N home, but there’s a flash of scarlet and they turn off, disappearing into the night. They are no longer necessary. Wanda leaves the studio, tears still drying on her cheeks. It is time to rebuild.

wanda maximoff tag list: @mionemymind

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagines #scarlet witch #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch imagines #wandavision imagine #wandavision x reader #wandavision imagines #avengers #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #avengers imagines

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alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom · 3 years

Text

GREY HEAVENS (F/F)

@deans-ch-ch-cherrypie ie was one of the first I met here and I’m so proud of her. This beautiful and always jealous (oh lord, she is super jealous) person reached 500 followers and of course I (tried) had to write a fic. I know Cherrypie, I said this is a Hvitserk x Ariel fic, but I love Ivar too much, I just can’t ignore him, oops sorry. Te amo odiosa!

Pairing: Hvitserk x Ariel x Ivar

Warnings: F/F smut, fingering, oral, voyeurism

Words: 1726

Thank you to my amazing beta reader @quantumlocked310 for making my sentences sound good, helping me with the moodboard and always motivating me! The idea for the name of this fic is btw from my honey @jadelynlace, because I have no patience to think about an appropriate name and her titles are outstanding.

a/n:. This fandom needs more F/F so I took my chance to write one. This is also a call to those who write F/F Vikings fics -> tag me!

Forget everything you know about Ariel, because the only thing my Ariel and the Disney Ariel have in common is the red hair.

Summary: A Mermaid is the last chance Hvitserk has to revive Lagertha.

Tags: @xbellaxcarolinax @pomegranates-and-blood @heavenly1927 @walkxthexmoon @punkrocknpearls @mrsalwayswrite @grimeundglow

If you ever find her then speak cautiously, she is mightier than the sea and gentler than the breeze.

The seer warned Hvitserk; mermaids don't like humans. Also, Aslaug taught him not to talk about mermaids since he was a child. The fear that these beings might hear was too big. They pull men into the bottom of the sea and let their ships sink. Their voices intoxicate the mind and manipulate humans. Their beauty dazzles men and makes it easy to underestimate them. They can hide but are still visible for those who are meant to see them.

He rode days and weeks to the far north of Norway, where the sea is wild and high waves crash against the huge rocks, far away from all the villages. Where there are almost no animals to eat and fish are difficult to catch. He could easily die, but it was the last chance Hvitserk had to revive Lagertha.

~~·······~~

Evening dawned and he gathered wood to prepare the fireplace for the night. A few faint fire sparks flew away in the slight wind when he ground two stones together to start the fire.

"With so little wood you won't survive more than two hours" Someone complained behind him.

Hvitserk hastily picked up his axe and turned around to see who that was. Almost nobody knew why he left Kattegat. Every day he thought about how he killed the most famous shield maiden. The wisest witches and healers tried to bring her back. Daily sacrifices and even Hvitserk himself gave his blood in the attempt to revive her, but none of this was successful.

“Ivar?” He dropped the axe. “What are you doing here? Tell me, who sent you, huh?” He grinned.

“Brother, I am Ivar the Boneless, if this half fish is really more powerful than me then I have to see her.” Ivar didn't want to rely on the rumors.

“I don’t want to be a mermaid’s meal, so be kind Ivar.”

“I doubt we will find her, them, it, whatever” Ivar was quite unimpressed by Hvitserk’s enthusiasm. He was just looking forward to the little trip through Norway’s landscapes.

~~·······~~

They walked an extensive white sand beach in search of mussels whenthey heard stones rolling and humming high voices coming out of a big cave.

The sun shone through a big hole in the cave’s ceiling and illuminated two women laying on one another. They quietly tried to climb over the slippery stones in the entrance of the cavern to get closer.

The pureness of their naked bodies, never touched by a man, sliding against each other. Their bright silver-colored skins, glistening in the sunlight like sea pearls. Their wavy hair hid part of their faces. Rose lips sucking on the skin of the red-haired's neck while their thighs pressed around the other’s, spreading their juices over their intertwined legs. Two bodies soft as silk melting together, grinding their pussies and bringing each other to a shared pleasure.

It was silent, only their heavy breathing echoed in the big cave, making the squelching noises of their wetness hush. Their bodies harmonized and embraced; they took their time to satisfy each other without showing dominance.

She shivered at the feeling of the blue-haired’s teeth raking along the flesh of her throat. She was enticed by the way her tongue swirls and swipes the mounds of her chest, tasting the salty valley between her plump breasts. Addicted to the sight of her hips thrusting against her own, feeling the heat that wracked their entire bodies.

One hand roamed down the shape of her body and groped her ass. The blue-haired lifted her partner’s right leg and placed it over her shoulder, exposing her fully. She licked two fingers on her right hand and trailed them down over the red-haired thigh until she reached her cunt.

The red-haired pressed her beloved closer, having only a moment to breathe out before she delved her wet fingers inside her lover’s dripping walls. She stroked deeper, harder and faster; all the while nibbling the soft skin behind her earlobe. She pulled her fingers out and teased her entrance. Her tongue swirled over her lip, before she thrusted her fingers in one move again into her partner’s throbbing pussy adding one finger to stretch her more.

The red-haired pried her legs open andburied both hands in the other’s blue hair to trail her down, arching her back to catch each kiss she left. She brought her lover’s head between her legs and laid her mouth on her center, replacing her fingers. Her arms wrapped around the red-haired's thighs as her tongue dragged against her warmth, parting her folds to rub against her most sensitive spots. She moaned, savoring the taste of the one beneath her pulsating pussy, not missing a drop of her juices.

When her thumb brushes the smooth skin of her hard nipple, kneading it, the red-haired rewarded it with a melodic moan, a little louder this time. The strands of her red hair fell down from her face as she raised her head, revealing her gorgeous face. Her eyes shut tight and her lips trembled, before they spread in a euphoric moan with every slam of her thighs onto the blue-haired cheeks. She bucked her hips nearly throwing the blue-haired off her lap. Her hands looking for something to grip onto, settling them on blue locks. Seeing the lust-filled gaze of her beautiful girl tensed her body. Her end was near, the one above her flicked her tongue at a fast pace, curling it over clit once, twice until her body exploded in satisfaction, coating her mouth with her juices.

The shameless string of moans woke Hvitserk up from his trance.

“Do you think they are mermaids? Real mermaids?”

Ivar didn’t answer. Hvitserk hit him with his elbow, but h was totally obsessed from their magnet-like aura.

“Hey Ivar” He tried to get his attention again.

“What?!” Ivar finally could avert his gaze from them.

“I asked, if you think that these are mermaids?”

“Of course they are! Did you ever see a woman being so divine?!” It was obvious to him.

They heard a loud noise of something heavy dropping into the water but when they looked back to the place they were laying, both were gone.

“You idiot! See what you did, you should learn to speak more-”

“Mermaid! I can see you!” The mermaid’s colored hair reflected in the water. “Come out here! We don’t want to kill you!” Ivar ignored his brother and crawled over the slippery stones in their direction.

The red-haired rose confident out of the water presenting herself. Waterdrops covered her pale and shimmering skin. She titled her head to one side, focusing the two foreign men with her green eyes, without blinking.

“Vikings” She broke the intriguing silence. The way this word rolled of her tongue was tantalizing.

“We didn’t want to...uhm… “ Hvitserk stuttered ashamed about Ivar’s insolence. “We are looking for someone, a special woman, well she is more than a woman. Her name– “

“Ariel. I knew you would come. You’re here because of Lagertha’s death.” She completed his sentence.

The blue-haired came out from behind the rock and placed herself close to Ariel. Two goddess-like appearances, both the same; tall, hypnotizing them.

“Ariel. Hello Ariel” Ivar smirked, speaking in a seductive tone, scanning her naked body with his glance. “I assume you are the powerful creature Hvitserk needs.” He took a lazy step closer. ”Powerful and beautiful. I have a weakness for woman like you.” He confessed, brushing his lower lip between his teeth.

She approached and her cheek pressing lightly against his. Her damp red hair wet his armor as she leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“I know who you are Ivar. So let me tell you whoIam.” He closed his eyes to memorize her unique salty smell better. “I am not a woman, I am a mermaid and mermaids don’t need to deal with men. And...don’t you dare to touch me!” Ivar clenched his fist and lowered his hand again.

She leaned back and spoke to the more rational brother. “I can’t help you Hvitserk. I’m sorry you came here in vain.” She wasn’t a talkative creature, especially when she felt used.

“Hey silver skin, where are you going?” Ivar started to treat her rude out of frustration. “We are not done here.” Ivar followed her out of the cave to the beach.

“But the seer told me you can, you can revive people. I didn’t want to kill her, please, it was a mistake.” Hvitserk tried to persuade her from the distance.

“This is my home.” She admired the calm of the ocean. “I can save anyone who gets lost in the heart of the sea, but Lagertha is not there.”

“Hey!” She gasped as Ivar grabbed her arm to hold her back. She immediately closed her eyes and was benumbed.

“No” The blue haired yelled and hissed, pushing Ivar away. He let go of her and Ariel started breathing again. Her eyes opened and even if they hadn’t told her how Lagertha died, she already knew it. She felt what they felt and saw what they saw. There was no secret that remained hidden from her.

“It wasn’t you who killed her, you were deceived Hvitserk. I am unable to overpower a dark might.” Hvitserk bowed his head. “But she’s fine. She is with Ragnar and she forgives you…and you too, Ivar.” Ivar rolled his eyes.

Ariel took her beloved by the hand and both stepped into the little waves. The silver colour of their legs became more luminous and greener the longer they stood in the water.

“Let’s go back to our sisters, my dear. I can hear them calling.” Her long red hair framed the curves from her swaying hips.

“And Ivar- “ She looked over her shoulder “- as long as your heart craves revenge, you will never be able to love.”

The sunlight reflected on her emerald green scales before she disappeared with her dearest in the depth of the sea completely.

Ivar waited a moment longer hoping to see her one last time.

“Ivar, it’s over.” Hvitserk laid his arm on Ivar’s shoulder and pulled him away.

#ivar the boneless #vikings hvitserk #hvitserk ragnarsson #f/f smut #vikings fandom #vikings fanfiction #ivar ragnarsson #cherry pie's 500

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razorblade180 · 3 years

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Emercury Day 7: Reunion

Fairytales don’t exist. An obvious fact, yet some people seemed to forget it or never learned it in the first place. Emerald, she was given that fact since the day she was born. It may have plagued her mind and actions in unspeakable ways known and unknown. Emerald hated this fact, but she never denied its power; its truth in showing just how cold Remnant could be. That truth forced her to grow up strong, keen to the world’s problems. Fairytales had no room or place in a heart raised by the streets.

Or so Emerald hoped. Maybe it was the optimistic light of those she believed to be naive that surrounded her? Perhaps she had finally reached a new understanding of life that persuaded her, or maybe it was something much simpler? Like a smile, a boy’s smile. She didn’t know when it started but that smile had meant many things to her. After all, Mercury saw life the same way she did yet managed to take things in much stronger strides. It was amazing in Emerald’s eyes, for a time... Now she found herself wishing Mercury was just a little weaker like she thought herself to be. If he was, then maybe today would different. Maybe they could stand beside one another again instead of at gun and blade point battered and bruised. Fairytales don’t exist, but Emerald found herself clinging to the idea with shaky hands just this once. Reunions sneak up on people. You never know if it’ll happen in a random store, or over sword inside a vault.

Mercury:Put, the guns, down.

Emerald:You....you know I can’t do that.

Mercury:Emerald, I’m not asking.

Emerald:......

Mercury:Damnit Em- DROP YOUR GUNS!

Emerald:Drop the sword! And then walk away.

Mercury:Tsk, do you think Salem-

Emerald:Not just from the sword, from her. From all of this, just walk away.

Mercury:And what, paint a target on my back!?

Emerald:Wouldn’t be the first time.

Mercury:Yeah but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m winning. I didn’t stumble into this like you and then proceed to devote myself to a nobody! So how long are you gonna ride this wave before bailing, again.

Emerald:Shut up.

Mercury:Why? Because I’m right? All you ever do is paint targets on your back. You just lucky and found a group dumb enough to overlook it.

Emerald:They’d overlook yours too.

Mercury:...Oh you cannot be trying to-

Emerald: I’m saying you have to, but we both know it’s not the worst decision.

Mercury:Having Salem against you sounds as bad as a decision can get!

Emerald:Worse than proving your own use to avoid death!? Having the law constantly breathing down your neck and sharing the same space as that freak of serial killer!? Mercury, for once there’s a choice that isn’t just survive and sleeping with an eye open. Team RWBY-

Mercury:Died in Atlas. What, you didn’t think Cinder was parading that achievement around?

Emerald:....

Mercury:Sigh, face it Emerald. You keep backing the wrong horse and it’s to anybody who gives a fake smile and tells you “I care.” It’s-

Emerald:They’re not dead.

Mercury:...What?

Emerald:They’re. Not. Dead. The two of us should know better than anybody those four in particular comeback like a headache. *smiles* So don’t count them out yet, just like how I’m not gonna count you out either. Salem is terrifying, I know that first hand and honestly I feel like kicking myself every day I realize who I’m defying; but I gotta tell ya being scared and fighting is a lot more manageable than being scared and feeling trapped.

Mercury:Who says I’m scared?

Emerald:Don’t pull that crap with me. I know you. You hide it better than me but you’ve always been on the fence about this. You wouldn’t be so focused on doing what your told if you weren’t.

Mercury:Final warning, move.

Emerald:.... Fine. You wanna be stubborn then we guess I’ll be too.

Mercury:Don’t say I didn’t warn-

She dropped her guns, effortlessly. Confused, Mercury watched his former partner stand with open arms in front of him. The resolve inside her was clear in her worried, emotional red eyes.

Emerald:If you really believe you’re right where you need to be, then kill me. Right here right now, because that is the only way you’re gonna get back to Salem. Should be easy, right?

Mercury:.....

Emerald:It’s kinda funny ya know? *tearing up* Hehe, I knew sooner or later I’d have to bump into you. I can’t count how many times since we met that I wanted to do nothing more than punch that smug face of yours. But I’ll be honest *crying* this is the one fight I don’t want to have. So I’m not going to. Your move Merc.

She steps closer, allowing the tip of the blade to barley pierce her chest. There she could feel the weight of it, and the slight unsteadiness of how it was with by uncertainty. Mercury tried to pull it back but Emerald took hold of the sword by the blade, keeping it near her heart. She wasn’t gonna let Mercury have an out on his terms. He was only leaving with it over a dead body.

Mercury:Let go.

Emerald:Make me. Just lean forward.

Mercury:Em-

Emerald:What!? Getting cold feet!? I thought I was supposed to be the one constantly second guessing!? Cut me down! Throw me away like life did! You say I foolishly follow those who tell me they care then punishment me for it! Be the one doesn’t care.

Mercury:Shut up.

Emerald:Be just like Cinder! Like Tyrian! Like your father!

Mercury:I’M NOTHING LIKE HIM!!!!

His voice echoed like thunder and his body shook like an earthquake. That calm and smug smile Emerald had grown fond of was nowhere to be seen. Replaced with a scowl fueled with frustration and eyes conflicted by his own logic colliding with his feelings. Emerald slowly traced down the blade, her finger tips barely reaching his,

Emerald:Then stop sinking to their level. Stop pretending you don’t care about anything more than you, or how great you feel. Be scared, regretful, doubtful even; be weak Mercury. Allow yourself to be weak for once in your life, and I’ll take the lead. Because that’s what partners do. They protect each other.

Mercury:H-Happy endings don’t exist for people like us, you know that.

Emerald:Yeah well, I’m a thief. I’ll take one with my own hands, for the both of us. Besides if I learned one thing recently, what’s the harm in hoping for one, a miracle? Mercury...please, stand by me again?

His grip on the hilt tightened. How was there? How could a person’s gaze disarm him so much. They way Emerald stared, her pleading eyes looking at something in him that Mercury himself wasn’t sure he had. It was enough to make anybody waver. Overwhelmed, he shut his eyes to avoid it then gritted his teeth. With one final shout, Mercury let the sword go. His fist balled up in anger and his head faced the floor. He dared not open his eyes. He knew if he did that then there would be no concealing the tears he held back.

Mercury:You’re cruel, asking so much of me all the time. You know that right?

Emerald:Yeah well, what can I say? I’m greedy like that.

Mercury:....

Mercury:I thought you died in Atlas.

Just like that, Emerald felt something in her snap. Tears flowed freely and she dropped the sword, instinctively pulling Mercury into her embrace; receiving one back just as quickly. The way his arms wrapped around her body. It was as if he was holding on for dear life. The sound of strained breath from his lips only made her squeeze tighter. She dared not let him go or mention his confined cries. Emerald just kept hugging him. Her partner, her fairytale in this cold world.

Emerald:We’re okay. We are going to be okay.

#rwby #emercury week #emerald sustrai #rwby ships #emercury

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orsuliya · 3 years

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This part (4 of who knows how many) of my Awu/Xiao Qi married headcanons resembles nothing more that a dying whale full of confused feelings. Which is exactly what I would swiftly turn to left alone with this drama without @madeleineengland’s continuous friendship and support. What I actually want to say is: Happy Birthday, my dear! I am thankful to have met you. I hope you like this instalment, even if I couldn’t quite manage to fit in a kneeling Song Huaien. Sorry!

There are some things that no woman can choose for herself. Some things simply happen – or not – as they please with no regard to wishful thinking or social status. A princess or a gravedigger’s daughter, a young maiden or a stately matron, none can simply will themselves pregnant, no matter how many prayers have left their lips and how many offerings have graced the altars, set there by gentle hands yearning to hold a living, breathing child instead of a bowl of rice or a stick of precious incense.

And yet, no matter how many times she whispers this truth to herself in the middle of the night, Xiao Qi’s broad hand resting on her lower belly in a sincere attempt to soothe the twinges of pain that come every single month without fail, there are still moments when Awu cannot help feeling as if she’s failing in the worst of ways. Not failing her husband, for until the day she dies she will never forget the truth shining in his eyes, still fever-bright from Wang Qian’s vile mixture despite the self-inflicted blood loss. And not even the twelve generations of Wang Empresses. After all, hadn’t she courted their disapproval already by choosing to walk through life hand in hand with her husband instead of living torn in half until her very last breath? No, the person whom she fails is always herself.

And in her mind she fails a lot. There is a bitter taste on her tongue as she pushes Xiao Qi’s wise, warm hand off her abdomen and rises from their shared bed to stand at the window, throwing open the shutters and trying to breathe, even as the feeling of warm blood pooling between her thighs makes her remember her first and worst failure, committed right in the middle of the palace courtyard. There were pamphlets, she knows, vicious, cruel rumours of how she bled her baby out from sheer disgust of having been bred by a man born nobody knows of whom and where. Only after every wagging tongue had already been silenced with a cloak of red silk set around her shoulders, did she realize that half the court must have been tittering excitedly over the prospect of seeing the proud Wang daughter set aside and brought as low as she had once sat high. And they hadn’t been kind about it, going as far as to comment that her swift appearance at the scene of the coup must have been motivated by her eagerness to be rid of her spouse as the balance of power finally shifted. Fools, what blind, base-minded fools all those high-born courtiers – many of them her distant kin – have turned out to be!

Princess Shangyang wouldn’t have felt such dark, all-consuming anger. Princess Shangyang, as Awu has learned in all her years as Princess Yuzhang, had been something of a fool, a bird kept in a gilded cage, encouraged to sing and chirp happily regardless of how the bars of that cage withered her wings. It was only later that this caged songbird discovered that she was no songbird at all, but a bird of prey. And like a bird of prey Awu wishes she had known of every single salacious rumour – but only so that she could tear their originators to shreds for using her poor never-born first child for their own vicious purposes, for making a spectacle out of her – their – pain.

In her anger she barely notices how her fingers have curled tightly over the windowsill… at least until big, calloused hands descend onto hers and she finds herself cradled in Xiao Qi’s loose, yet strangely grounding embrace. For a moment she wishes to slip away, to escape and simply be angry, no matter how futile it may be after so many years… And had he tried to lead her back to bed, had he spoken a single word, she might have done just that, but there is only silence between them. Only slightly unreal, moonlight-washed silence and Awu feels the flames of her anger sputter and go out, leaving only bitter, choking ash of regret.

Yet there is one kernel of failure she can exorcise right here and now for both of their sakes, even if it can never be made right in this life. If I have children of my blood, she says, allowing herself to let go of the magical ‘when’ this one time, seeing them entered into the Xiao family book would bring me greater honour and joy than if they were feted as princes and princesses of the first rank. And maybe after a moment she feels the need to explain further, to say that she would have been honoured to act as a filial daughter-in-law to his parents, no matter their birth and status, but before she can get out a word, he manages to catch her off-guard. Not with a kiss to the side of her neck, that much she has come to expect always, but rather with his quiet, sleepily tender reply: Before we get to filling any pages, we need to have a book in the first place. Help me with that in the morning? And what can she do in response to that except hum in agreement and lean backwards?

____________________________________

Some things simply happen – or not – as they please. Which does not mean one should not help them along in any way that comes to mind. Or several minds, as it happens in this case.

Doctor Shen, however wise and famous, is far from the only – or even the best – available authority on the matters of female body, partially due to not being of female persuasion himself. Unlike, for example, his assistant and niece Shen Yunxin, an aspiring female doctor in her own right. Once that accomplished, if rather young lady managed to make herself heard, she swiftly rose in Xiao Qi’s regard, and would have done so for her gumption alone, even if her medical skills hadn’t been excellent in the first place. Shen Yunxin, skipping the dancing-around that most of her male colleagues invariably tended to degrade to in the presence of any person of power, rather daringly announced that perhaps instead of concentrating solely on curing Awu’s infertility – and thank you, the acupuncture treatments she herself administers every week are going just as planned – they should perhaps focus on the picture as a whole. That is, after all, what a doctor should look at first, right? Especially as there is no material proof of Xiao Qi’s high fertility. The ‘or is there now?’ part remained unspoken; even though Shen Yunxin came to like her primary patient a lot and had her own reasons to distrust men and their promises, she – this time and always – held to the standards of professional behaviour.

Awu, for her part, really enjoys seeing Xiao Qi drinking bitter herbal concoctions of his own. Even if she might not be all that convinced by Shen Yunxin’s words, it surely cannot hurt anything. And why should she be the only one to suffer under a tyrannical medical regime? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. And if in truth Xiao Qi doesn’t mind the taste at all, who would blame him for exaggerating a little for his wife’s amusement? Certainly not his wife, who has seen through his play-acting at once and swiftly decided that there is something to this mouth-to-mouth method of feeding particularly vile medicines to recalcitrant patients.

And yet Shen Yunxin isn’t the only fount of knowledge to be found in Ningshuo and, truth be told, has shown much interest in the secrets of folk medicine herself, especially as practiced by Alima’s kinswomen. Although some of those women, in particular Alima’s crone of a grandmother, have proven astonishingly… direct and rather shameless with their advice, to the tune of making a fully-fledged practitioner and an old married woman such as Awu, both of them hardly prone to prudishness, blush like girls not yet through their hair-pinning ceremonies. Or perhaps the advice was actually fine and tamer that one might expect. The enthusiastic appreciation that Alima’s kinswomen seem to hold for Xiao Qi, however, could probably fluster anybody, much less the man’s wife!

____________________________________

It is not entirely out of the realm of possibility that Awu decided to follow the kindly-meant advice of Alima’s grandmother. After all, the woman had successfully given birth to nine babies and gotten eight of them to adulthood, which would make anybody pay attention. Perhaps there is something to be said for the value of hard-won experience? And perhaps it was Shen Yunxin’s acupuncture skills that helped in the end, or even her insistence to look at the greater picture first. Or Doctor Shen’s bitter tinctures, or Xiao Qi’s unwavering, ah, helpfulness. Or possibly the fact that Awu finally decided that what will be will be and threw herself with doubled energy into the whirlpool of domestic concerns… which are truly never-ending, if one counts an entire province as one’s home.

Whatever the cause, Awu eventually achieved her goal… And yet she was among the last ones to actually suspect anything, the first being Xiao Qi and A-Yue, who had informed Doctor Shen and Shen Yunxin respectively, after having noticed some rather peculiar changes. A lady’s maid knows her mistress better than her own husband, although in this case, with the husband being an exceptionally affectionate one, that might not ring quite so true. Incidentally, the symptom that both of them had noticed was Awu’s sudden heightened sense of smell combined with a rather noticeably expressed aversion to her previously favourite perfume, which, you must admit, is a rather worrying sign.

As it turns out, both the uncle and niece had a good idea of Awu’s state, going by her last bleeding being more of a spotting than anything else – and you may bet Shen Yunxin monitors that closely – and yet they remained unable to fully ascertain their suspicions without any clear accompanying signs, nor were they willing to give any early hope, which may later be dashed. In fact, Doctor Shen would have preferred to avoid any agitation whatsoever for at least a week or two more, having had difficult experiences with this patient in particular, but one look at Prince Yuzhang’s face had him rethink that plan. Had Hu Guanglie been there – or alive in the first place – he would have immediately recognized that expression as Xiao Qi getting ready for battle, which he is quite sure he can win… but not entirely sure, with his doubt rising with every hour of there being no news of enemy movements. But even an amateur would be immediately wary of this sudden tension, for all that it might be hidden under an impressive facade of pretended calm. And Doctor Shen, after thirty years of practicing medicine among the upper echelons of Cheng nobility and staying alive – which is no mean feat – has learned to be quite sensitive to his powerful employers’ moods. As a survival tactic, if nothing else.

Another important skill, which Doctor Shen hasn’t yet imparted onto his niece, is judging when and where a doctor’s presence might be wanted... and when and where it is most certainly not needed. Pulling Shen Yunxin from the room by her sleeve might seem like a rather abrupt reaction, but it was by no means unjustified. Some things are simply not meant to be seen by outsiders. Prince and Princess Yuzhang facing each other and simply looking into each other’s eyes in perfect, tremulously joyful silence before the Princess lets out a hiccuping laugh and hides her suspiciously shining eyes against her husband’s collarbone is certainly one of those.

____________________________________

Xiao Qi’s first emotion after hearing the news is joy, then absolute panic – as far as that man ever panics, that is – and then steely determination most usually reserved for military planning. Having heard one word too many about miscarriage being a real possibility this early on makes him frantic and this in turn means that something really, really foolish is about to happen. Something like riding for the capital with only ten thousand troops. Something like going into Hulan alone. Something like dealing ungodly amounts of damage and letting his hair fly loose. Hu Guanglie would call this state a silence before mass decapitation. Were he there and alive, that is. Thankfully Hu Yao is both alive and there (deal with it, people!) and manages to redirect this thrumming energy into something actually constructive, which is probably the only thing that saves Awu and Xiao Qi from having an epic row over a series of very unreasonable ideas. Like, for example, shutting Awu in her rooms in the middle of Ningshuo Fortress and standing guard over her until the baby is born.

Meanwhile, Awu’s behaviour couldn’t be more different from that exhibited by her very own husband. Now that her years of continuous disappointment are over, she refuses to even consider that something might go wrong. At least not during waking hours, when she’s surrounded by a steady throng of people and children; and there is no way she would ever agree to being imprisoned in her rooms, although she agrees to retiring at the first sign of true fatigue and actually keeps her word, which causes her to share more than one nap in the middle of the day with little Song Guanglie. Which, in turn, makes for a pretty mellow Princess, especially right after she rises.

Which is exactly why this is the exact moment the brilliant tactician Hu Yao chooses to inform Awu that her fool of a husband (even if she doesn’t use exactly those words, she means exactly that) has evaporated with a troop of six into direction unknown, which may or may not be Hu Yao’s fault. Awu confirms that yes, Xiao Qi came in as she slept, woke her up briefly and said something about going on a short trip, promising to return as swiftly as possible. The look on Hu Yao’s face is rather telling and a tiny bit guilty.

That little overnight trip? Hu Yao is reasonably certain it is a hunt for something big and impressive. A local variety of wolf? A big feline of unfriendly persuasion? Probably not Hulan raiders, such as they are those days; she is rather insistent on that last point and for a good reason. That reason being that Xiao Qi had been making things strangely tense in the training yards, which are Hu Yao’s rightful domain, and so she decided to get rid of him by asking about preparations for the birth, no matter that the happy event may be six months away yet, and describing in great detail the extent of the prospective father’s involvement in those.

And seeing as it’s paramount – for future good fortune and the safety of both the mother and the baby – that no products of the birth are allowed to touch the ground, hence the need to provide a layer of ash, rushes or perhaps a cow’s skin as is the case in the wealthier families of Hu Yao’s acquitance, and taking into account that Xiao Qi has never done things by halves, his plan is rather obvious. Awu doesn’t know whether to feel strangely amused, immensely flattered and touched… or perhaps increasingly annoyed by losing her bedmate for such paltry a cause. For the moment she chooses option one, if only because amusement helps her forget about any apprehension the word ‘hunt’ might be causing her for rather obvious reasons. She will hold her judgement on options two and three until she sees the result of Xiao Qi’s bout of paternal madness.

The hero of the hour returns four days later, impossibly smug and with a bloody enormous salted pelt of a great brown mountain bear. Which he will then proceed to cure himself, because why wouldn’t he. Awu doesn’t have the words for what she’s feeling. Exasperation? Fond exasperation? A sudden onset of unexpected horniness? And I mean really unexpected, because bears smell and she’s still not over her olfactory oversensitivity. But mainly a burst of love and womanly pride. Sure, her man might be a fool, but he’s her fool and… I mean, it is a really big bear. Very, very impressive, if one was prone to being impressed by such things. Which Awu usually doesn’t find herself to be… Oh, who is she even trying to fool?

____________________________________

Xiao Qi has made something of a study of his wife’s body, which she had always been cognizant of to a certain degree. So it’s rather hard to say that it comes as a surprise that he’s able to tell when she begins to show even before she herself does – and she shows very early due to her general slimness. All the other things, however, are somewhat more out of the left field.

Like how he starts to send Awu’s maids out every time he catches one of them with a comb even before she confesses that somehow her scalp became really, really sensitive and in a rather peculiar way. Which he has apparently noticed and decided to take shameless advantage off, especially as the pleasure is mutual; Awu’s hair has become somehow both thicker and softer, a true delight to touch for a person as tactile as Xiao Qi.

Or how he suddenly stops going after Awu’s earlobes to her sincere confusion and irritation. She liked it, dammit, and what Awu wants, Awu gets, so the next time his mouth appears anywhere in the vicinity of her neck, Xiao Qi finds himself rather brusquely pointed at the desired target. The problem is, upon his acquiescence Awu finds it not as pleasurable as all that and really rather painful, her ears apparently having become rather sensitive practically overnight. By which point she has no other choice but to demand how had he guessed before she realized this about herself. His answer turns out to be rather disarming: You haven’t worn a single pair of dangly earrings for half a month.

The worst thing is, he is absolutely right. Every single time, which at the beginning causes no little exasperation, especially when Awu’s body starts rapidly changing and sometimes she feel like she hardly knows what she even looks like anymore. Is that pale, drawn face in the mirror actually hers? Why are her eyebrows suddenly so pale and whispy? And has she always had dark patches on the underside of her breasts? As time passes, all those other changes start looking less and less dire, having taken second fiddle to the most important thing of them all: a growing, living child nestled between her hipbones, which have lost all pretense of sharpness during those last few months. And so she starts asking questions. Not to fish for compliments – she truly cannot complain of a shortage of those – but out of true curiosity. What have you noticed that I haven’t? Show me.

And he does show her, claiming and re-claiming every inch of her skin as it changes and there is not a single moment in which she does not feel beautiful, or wanted, or loved, even when she’s absolutely miserable and sick, and bloated. Although she calls him a liar the one time he truly earns it by announcing her stitches on the newest piece in the increasingly elaborate layette to be the height of perfection despite them being crooked and all over the place due to her suddenly clumsy fingers. But just as he is her guide to her own body, she is his and there is little that she finds herself unable to complain of.

It’s their journey, their child, perhaps their only chance at this miracle and she absolutely refuses to hide, especially as her time comes near. Refuses to hide both literally and metaphorically, spending hours upon hours of increasingly warm, stuffy summer evenings laying naked on top of the covers and drawing nonsensical labyrinths upon her own skin with the tips of her fingers, every line closely followed by eager eyes, calloused hands or gentle lips; every single tap or movement from within met with genuine fascination and something not quite unlike worship.

____________________________________

There has hardly been a military campaign that involved more meticulous planning than the birth of this one tiny child, Ningshuo’s first princeling. Taught by Wanru’s premature experience with childbirth, both Awu and Xiao Qi remain rather wary of any fixed dates. The child will come when it will come, rather like the enemy, announces Xiao Qi, stopping the rather spirited discussion between the womenfolk about the necessity of early preparation and earning himself a fiery glare from Awu for using such inappropriate comparisons. By which I mean there is little to be done aside from observing the terrain and getting ready for an ambush, which may or may not come at any time, he explains, trying to mollify Awu and enclose her into his self-imposed bubble of confidence, usually reserved for use upon soldiers on the verge of panic, which is exactly what this discussion of premature birth has brought into their home.

And you know what, it actually helps, if only a little. Enough to take Awu’s mind off the possible complications and redirect her nervous energy into consulting with the astronomy charts and then choosing an appropriately situated side room, setting up curtains around the bed to serve as a birthing tent and getting that blasted bearskin out of storage. Which process they will ultimately go through four times, as the star charts – and thus best orientations – keep changing every month. And which neither of them will begrudge, as every single time they move the birthing tent Awu grows just a tiny bit more confident in the success of the upcoming labour and also more attuned to her own needs. At the very last milestone – during which she is comically enormous, but no less able to give out commands – she is an absolute nightmare, having everyone running around to and fro as well as throwing an absolute fit over the birthing rope, which she has agreed to previously.

Doctor Shen, being a great believer in getting his clients through labour alive and having a long-standing grudge against the usual way of birthing practiced in the Imperial Palace – which means supine, surrounded by a crowd of panicking women and with the doctor hardly able to see the patient in order to preserve their chastity – instills a certain regime, which is perfectly in accord with the traditional ways dictated by medical practitioners of old. By which he means peace, no more that two calm attendants at one time and letting gravity do part of the work; the last thing meaning that a length of rope or cloth should be suspended from the ceiling or perhaps stretched between two pillars at at appropriate height, so that the mother can support herself while kneeling or squatting.

In Awu’s case the arrangement changes from a hanging horse bridle – which while a show of status and a portent of good fortune proved to be not that comfortable after all – to a length of silk, to a rope stretched between two pillars. Which apparently doesn’t suit Awu any longer, not providing her with a steady enough support. While A-Yue and Alima keep tying and retying the rope to Awu’s continuous disapproval and even irritation, Xiao Qi doesn’t get involved. Yes, partially because in contrast to everybody else he doesn’t find his heavily pregnant wife a nightmare to deal with. Adorable, more like, the man is that hopeless. And partially because as long as Awu acts out on her irritation, she’s not getting apprehensive or despondent. So let her rage to her heart’s content. Now, the moment she goes silent and perhaps a little bit bashful over her previous outburst, he decides it’s high time for an intervention. Any intervention, even an absurd one. Which means that he disappears for a moment and brings back his spear, which he then secures in place of the rope to the growing disconcernment of everybody present. Awu finds it steady enough for her needs and it’s not like anything else matters.

Seeing as she goes into labour the very next day and finds herself properly appreciative of this improvised solution, Xiao Qi can’t find it in himself to really mind the rapidly growing slew of jokes and ditties starting to make rounds, although he makes a point of trouncing the most intrepid joker rather soundly. Or perhaps five of those, not that he’s in the right mindset to actually keep count once the entrance to the birthing room is barred to him. Before it is, there is still time to tell Awu– not for the last time, this isn’t going to be the last time! - of her bravery, of how only now does he start to truly appreciate what it means to send a loved one into battle and of how they’re going to carry this moment through their whole lives. You’re Princess Yuzhang, you will come back with a victory, hale and whole. You will always come back, he whispers into her hair, not sure who is he actually trying to convince as he hold his entire world in his arms, desperately trying to hide his fear. And failing miserably, which Awu cannot help but notice… once she gets through the current set of contractions. Don’t you dare to be a coward now, my Prince Yuzhang, she scolds, resting her sweaty forehead against his chin. Don’t you bloody dare. I have asked for this and I don’t take upon myself what I cannot carry. And now get out and let me fight my war. You know what I’m capable of.

And by all gods, he knows. And this steely determination in her voice scares him as little has ever scared him before. This time, unlike every other time when she’s risked her life this bravely, there will be nothing he can do to help her, no miraculous rescue, no last-minute shot, no hand ready to break her fall. Has he been too greedy, he ponders, only by a miracle avoiding skewering Tang Jing straight through the gut and then actually earning a light graze from Hu Yao’s blade. Useless, she pronounces, confiscating their weapons and hurrying both men off the training field. Absolutely useless. Go and do whatever it is that men actually busy themselves with while women do all the work.

It turns out that what men actually do in highly stressful situations is sharpen their swords as well as any other blade they may encounter. They are joined in this endeavour by Xiaohe, who will later be unilaterally – and wholly unfairly – blamed for each and every single skewed edge. Of which there will be quite a few. But then, what does an imperfect sword or ten actually matter, when after long hours of absolute hell, during which Xiao Qi has imagined at least five different worst scenarios ending in a pool of blood – just like that terrible day – and prayed to all the gods he has ever heard of, A-Yue finally comes, her wide smile speaking for itself.

#the rebel princess #monarch industry #Awu and XQ headcanon time #and unto us a child is born #although the aftermath must wait #this was getting a bit too long and me a bit too weepy #I am an absolute disgrace of a human being #oh well #HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADELEINEENGLAND #also I might have read a book about childbirth in ancient China #it was full of dead babies but on the whole very interesting

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justletmeplayminecraft · 4 years

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Did anybody order a Wels backstory idea? No? Too bad, you're getting one.

This came from me thinking about how Hels is named after the dimension he came from, so what if that's the case for Wels too? Then the idea gripped me and I had to write it down quick. So-

Wels used to be simply 'Wels Knight': an NPC on a large MMORPG MC server. He was one of many Knights based in the kingdom of Wels, NPCs replaceable at will of the code. Made to give quests, fight mobs at the gates and wander the city... Simple programming, simple NPCs. There for the players and nothing more.

Except one day, Wels isn't.

It's a glitch in his code, or an attempt to improve the AI, but suddenly, he's sentient. He thinks like a player. He wants to do things. Explore, build and create. The server admins either don't realise or care, so he continues following his programming, unsure what would happen if he doesn't. He avoids dying, scared of that unknown. (Would he lose this? Become just another NPC like the ones mindlessly walking these streets again? Or would he simply cease to be? He doesn't want to find out.) He uses the code already forming his instincts to survive, blending in as a normal NPC. It's lonely, but he exists.

Until that doesn't work anymore. Maybe he's discovered and the admins try to reset him, maybe the server is going to be closed down, but Wels realises he needs to escape. He commandeers a command block, uses a transportation portal or something, but he gets out. Finds himself in a completely new world, alone. It's scary, but he finally has the chance he's wanted. He can build, create, explore. He wanders through different worlds, finally feeling like he's living.

But he's still got the code of an NPC. He isn't a player. It causes him to glitch, sometimes. He wasn't made to live without the support of the server and the code that keeps him together. Sometimes he finds himself following old commands, patrolling the streets he's built aimlessly before shaking back to life. He loses time, on occasion, waiting for someone to talk to him who never will. No matter how hard he tries to forget, he remembers his lines perfectly. The worst are the physical glitches. The times his code realises it's in the wrong place, tries to force itself apart. He learns to last it out, keep himself together. It's exhausting, but it's worth it. It's worth the opportunity to live like this.

He stumbles into an occupied world by accident. He hasn't interacted with players since abandoning his original purpose. It's surprising, when they accept him as one of them. As if he's another, normal player. It's called KingdomCraft and he fits in perfectly. The medieval build style is familiar. He grows to call the players friends (tries not to question if something like him can have them.) They accommodate his weird habits. How he avoids dying, needs time alone or sometimes doesn't seem quite... There. (And it's an unspoken rule in the group of them not to bother him about it. Not every player comes from a good server. If Wels doesn't want to talk, they won't push him.) Then, when they're invited to Hermitcraft, Wels is invited with them.

(Xisuma is confused, at first, by the extra player. He's never seen a player list be wrong before, but he's sure there's a reason. And he can't really say no to those excited faces as he brings them to their new world. He doesn't question it further. Maybe he should have.)

Hermitcraft is... Different. He learns new styles of building, picks up how to make farms and smelters. It's as exciting as it is scary. The mobs are stronger and he sticks to the safety of strip mining. The hardest part of adapting is the new players. There's a lot of them, and there's no 'unspoken rules' anymore. It's hard to hide his strange habits. Those days where his code feels like it's falling apart are spent locked in his bases, hidden from view. The hermits pick it up, mostly. They aren't upset if he cancels an event, they don't push him when they find him wandering with a blank stare. Nothing further than a concerned 'Do you want to talk about it?' He doesn't, and they don't. (Even if part of him wishes he could explain. Wishes he was a true knight, and wasn't so afraid.)

In the end, it probably happens by accident.

A newer hermit doesn't understand why Wels avoids dying. Sets up a prank that kills him, except he doesn't respawn. And suddenly the hermits are left scrambling as to why.

Or the glitching gets worse, until he can't hide it anymore. Once one of the hermits sees him in that much pain, his body showing the layers of code that make it up as he gasps for air, it's game over.

Either way, it's terrifying for Xisuma to have to try and transfer his friend's data into an actual player. To unravel the code that's already there and figure out what is actually Wels. The others sometimes joke about Xisuma being godlike. It's times like these that he wishes he wasn't, holding his own friend's existence in his hands. Nobody should have that power.

But he's glad he does when he sees Wels smile. The relief in his eyes that he doesn't have to follow those same, stupid commands anymore. He doesn't have to live in fear of falling apart. The other hermits embrace him, scold him for not telling them and don't treat him differently at all. He's always been Wels to them. How he was created doesn't change that. But now, at last, he's truly free.

#hermitcraft #welsknight #xisuma #my writing #hc #wels #yeah um went off a bit here #the idea struck me and wouldn't let go #so volia!#npc!wels

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sexyglances · 3 years

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The "Rapunzel" is a Lie in Run On

My favorite theme of Run On is that it is up to you to make your own happiness in life and that you have the full autonomy to do so, no matter what anyone else says. And my favorite ways the way the drama shows that is how a) that for your own happiness you must put yourself first in your own life, b) building a personal found family with real, caring relationships is important, and c) cherishing both yourself and your found familial relationships together is key to creating a truly fulfilling life.

The idea of a Rapunzel is mentioned a couple of times in the drama, and in a way, many of the characters could fit the role of a "Rapuzel." Seongyeom, Danah, and Woosik have all been stuck in their own lonely "towers" based on society's "rules" and expectations about how they should conduct their lives. And while they all have had someone come into their lives that has made a profound impact on them, none of these people had a Prince/ess Charming swoop in and save them from their lonely towers. Instead, their prince/esses have only been catalysts for change. They may have opened the door for the Rapunzels and encouraged them out of their towers, but in Run On, the Rapunzel has to make the active choice to leave their tower. Only by their active choices to redefine their relationships with themselves and with others are they able escape the confines of duty, obligation, and expectation and learn to live life and build meaningful relationships for themselves.

The drama started off with a lot of relationships based solely on pretense only, as if circumstances are what make strong bonds. But as the episodes go on, it's demonstrated that it's not the obligation of a powerful relationship that defines the strength of a relationship, but rather the relationship strength is determined by the actions a person takes in the relationship. In the beginning, we have Seongyeom surrounded by "strong relationships," a picture-perfect successful family, an elite track team with a renowned coach, and a sports agent that gets him in photo shoots and in the press. But as we delve past the outside illusion of these relationships, we see a family that is mostly absent from each other's lives, teammates and a coach that at best Seongyeom leaves at arms length, and at worst actively talk and scheme behind his back (and do even worse to Woosik), and even Danah barely knows Seongyeom on a personal level and openly admits their business relationship is used for her personal gain. Danah is in a similar situation where most of her obligate family/business relationships are trash as well, even if they look great from the outside; and she openly admits she has no friends either. Woosik is the lowly hoobae in his track team that doesn't have enough social capital at the time to stop his bullying or get the coaches to stop looking the other way from his bullying. All of these dynamics are based on the idea they must sacrifice parts of themselves for the greater (fucked up) system at large.

Then Mijoo enters the story. As an orphan she has had to build a found family for herself her whole life. Because she has none of those pre-determined familial obligations, and is a freelancer with no business to ruin outside of her own, she isn't beholden to the same rules of conduct that seem to be holding down Seongyeom, Danah, and also Woosik. Because she had to survive on her own, Mijoo learned early on that let herself out of her Rapunzel tower long ago. Waiting for someone else who might never come wasn't going to put the proverbial self-worth food on the table. Instead, she went out and foraged for those found family relationships herself.

The other great thing about when Seongyeom confronted his father was that it wasn't because Mijoo said anything about what his father had done or that she had encouraged any specific action in that case. Again, there's no "damsels in distress" here with a hero ready to take control (the "Rapunzel" is a lie!), it's about seizing your own life for yourself. Mijoo may be "[Seongyeom's] strength" but the way he stood up to his father in a way he never has before was done alllll on his own. Seongyom, the guy that was once considered "shameless" because he felt no embarrassment in the past when he did things is now actually feeling real shame and embarassment at how his father treats the people Seongyeom holds dear. The portrayal of a loving relationship resulting in self-actualization and autonomy an incredibly beautiful sentiment that isn't really portrayed in romance stories, at least not as explicitly and openly as it is in Run On.

The other thing I want to touch on is the running theme of embracing found families in lieu of obligate families in Run On. At the beginning of the story, Mijoo, while a bit of a loner, has a demonstrated strong relationship with May, and as the story goes on, we see most of her business relationships are also real friendships based on warmth and sincerity. That same sincerity is brought on as her relationship develops with Seongyeom and as she makes friends with Woosik, Younghwa, and even Danah (Mijoo's quips to Danah may be biting but they are sincere, haha). As Seongyeom learns to build his own sincere relationships with his own found family, we also see him bloom from someone with a husk of a social net, a person who barely ever put himself and his actual emotions out there, to a person not only with strong convictions for others but convictions in his actual relationships with others. He lets himself care for others and in turn that opens himself up to the genuine care others have for himself as well.

My favorite scene demonstrating this is after Woosik's training session when Mijoo and Woosik were sitting next to each other looking over the footage. Seongyeom looked at them, not with the detached observation he would have had in episode 1, but with a bit of jealousy tugging at his heart because he wanted to be included. And then he actually expresses he wants to be included, something that would not even cross the mind of the old Seongyeom to want or express. And Mijoo and Woosik's response? They immediately met Seongyeom with warmth, and they not just let him sit down, but sit with them. Like they literally moved and made room for him between the two of them as if it was nothing. Because unlike any relationships he used to have, Seongyeom being included warmly is a given with them. They have such a natural affinity for him, that they just automatically folded him into their interaction. It was such a small scene but it really demonstrated the growth these characters and their relationships have had. There's no room for jealousy here, but there is room for Seongyeom.

And lastly, Run On drives home the importance of cherishing both yourself and the people you care about in tandem for a fulfilling life. In episode 12 we have the scene when Mijoo told Seongyeom's father that Seongyeom is not an object that parallels when he in turn told his father that his sister and Mijoo couldn't be treated like objects either. Neither Seongyeom's or Mijoo's self-worth is defined by the other person standing up for them, hell, they didn't even know each other did that. But just knowing you have that emotional support in your life is a comfort that both Seongyeom and Mijoo know what is like to live without, which makes their convictions even stronger. They've felt life without that support so they do not want the people they care for to have to continue to be treated that way. Nobody deserves to be treated as a pawn in someone else's life. And they can both boldly stand up against this treatment of their loved ones because of their self-actualization (or at least partial self-actualization, they're not perfect) in how to extrapolate their self-worth and tie it into their strength of care for others.

What else is interesting is that at the end of episode 12 when Mijoo is upset because of her verbal tussle with Seongyeom's father, I thought we would get a parallel to Seongyeom in the beginning of the series, where Seongyeom sacrificed himself for others, he was always putting himself second. But in a poignant reversal, she broke up with him not as a sacrifice for him, but for herself, because she is the most important in her own life. This is due in part because she still has that automatic defense mechanism that she can only rely on herself in tough times. That defense mechanism of relying only on herself, however, also has the beautiful reversal of that she knows that she has to work through shit herself to make herself happy. A double-edged sword mounted in a hilt of self-worth.

"Must I continue seeing him at the expense of myself?" Mijoo says. Of course we know this is an emotional strawman argument but I love that Run On has a clear message that having to hide yourself in a Rapunzel Tower for a "caring" relationship means that relationship isn't based in care at all. She also says, "I value myself more than anyone else." Mijoo can't sacrifice herself for Seongyeom's toxic relationship with his father (not that Seongyeom is asking her to, but as an orphan she feels guilty for "coming between" Seongyeom and his father even though she is at literally 0% fault in that relationship mess). Younghwa won't change who he is for Danah, and in turn Younghwa doesn't expect Danah to put him before her either. Woosik can't let his self-doubt change him into someone who has no drive. Now that he's letting himself believe in his ability to recover, he has a better support system than he ever had in his former track team. And as far as Seongyeom is concerned, even all of friends, his new found family, (Woosik, the other track dude, Younghwa, and the former track coach he brought back to coaching) take his personality and his friendship for what it is, none of them are trying to change his personality or mold him into something he's not. They've all actually expressed acceptance and affection for his personality quirks.

The isolation of a "Rapunzel" state-of-mind is being dismantled for all these characters in Run On, and it is immensely fulfilling to see the characters grow as they leave their societal expectations behind and form fulfilling lives for themselves filled with people who love and support them. Self-actualization at its finest.

#run on #kdrama #meta #my meta #heh this started out as a 5-sentence-long post about the post-workout jealousy scene and spiraled #i have meta control problems lol #also i'm including seongyeom's bio sister as part of his found family bc their relationship is now an active choice #long post

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thevirgodoll · 4 years

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How to get over someone when they are the only person around and you are literally lonely and alone without theirs presence? Or just how to not tie my happiness with a person? I’m really not doing good

It’s actually not as bad as you think to depend on yourself. Being self reliant means you can depend on yourself and as a result, other people will find you more pleasing to be around.

You have to become comfortable in your own skin and learn how to stop being emotionally dependent. If you’ve been in codependent relationships and friendships, this may be why you have thought 100% reliance on another person was healthy.

No friend or partner should complete you. You are a complete person with complete attributes, and so is another person. They should simply add to your life. That is it.

It’s not good to rely on another person for guidance, reassurance, and clarification all of the time. Doing so objectifies them and makes them a tool that can fix your every problem.

1. You are responsible for your own feelings.

No one else is responsible for what you feel. You have to take accountability. It’s not anyone’s job to serve happiness to you on a platter.

Letting someone else’s actions control your every mood is a recipe for disaster. It can make one thing the other person does ruin your entire day. You’re giving your power to another person, and this will follow you in every friendship and relationship if you do not take accountability for your own problems.

2. You are responsible for your own growth.

A marker of growth is introspection. The ability to self reflect is crucial to your growth, and if you are looking to other people to validate everything for you, you may never get where you want to go. You have to discover yourself on your own terms, and by feeding into another person, you don’t have time for yourself.

You’re the only you you’ll ever have, so to waste time projecting your desires and dreams onto someone else is futile. Other people have their own needs to fulfill. You have to reframe your relationship with other people and yourself. The expectations you have created with other people is quite unrealistic, because it’s not another person’s job to be everything for you.

3. People don’t owe you everything.

You have to learn that we aren’t inherently owed anything in life. People don’t owe you a response when you deem fit, for example. They have their own lives, and you have yours as well.

On another note, people change, and can become incompatible. No one inherently owes you anything, except respect and decency.

You have to be appreciative of things and people in your life and understand that every moment is valuable. This appreciation should never morph into idolization.

You have to learn to look inward for solutions, because you know yourself best. Over time, you should know how to solve your own problems, and you should know to look at yourself first.

Blaming other people will never lead you to a positive outcome, because you’ll be waiting for them to give you the perfect solution. Instead of waiting for someone else to show up for you, you have to show up for yourself and validate yourself.

4. Loving yourself is not a waste of time.

A waste of time is worrying about everyone else and what they’re doing. Most people are too busy with their own lives. You do not want to be emotionally dependent for the rest of your life, because you do not love yourself enough. By being emotionally dependent, your needs aren’t met and you fail to meet them as well.

You need to practice these things:

•understanding your needs and how you can meet them

•pampering yourself

•inspiring yourself

•embracing solitude and embracing self reflection

•allowing yourself to be vulnerable with yourself, free of judgment

•be compassionate with yourself

•know the difference between realistic desires and unrealistic desires

•learn to recognize infatuation versus genuine attraction

•learn to recognize fear of abandonment

•practice shifting your focus away from things you truly do not need

5. Let go of your need to control others.

Recognize that it’s okay to be angry with what has happened, but there is nothing you can truly do. You can either do something reasonable within limits to improve the situation, or you can accept it for how it is. Your need to control others can limit your requirement to take better care of yourself. Which leads me to

6. Take other people off of pedestals.

Looking at people from a view of idolization can do more harm than anything else.

Change your thought processes.

•”My problems aren’t as important” vs. “My problems are equally as important as theirs”

•”This person is probably always right so I’m wrong” vs. “This person is like me, sometimes right and sometimes wrong.”

•”I am nothing without this person” vs. “They add something enjoyable to my life, but I believe in myself and I trust myself. If they leave, I will be okay with myself.”

Avoid idealizing anyone to a savior extent. Nobody is your savior, nobody needs to save you. Think of Cinderella by the Cheetah Girls.

You are rescuing yourself, you are making yourself the best you can. If you idealize someone, you escape reality, and that is something we cannot do. Wishful thinking sometimes can hurt you. The more you can do for yourself, the less you need others to do things for you - it’s more so an addition to your life.

If you find yourself interested in someone who shows little interest, engaging with someone who is emotionally distant, holding out hope for your idealization of who they are but they haven’t changed, or that you’re the only one doing anything for the dynamic, then you have to acknowledge the truth and take accountability. Let everyone be responsible for themselves rather than you taking responsibility for someone else. Don’t think in black or white and all or nothing thinking such as “If I don’t get what I want from them life is meaningless” just because of one person. You have to regard yourself higher than that.

You have to be determined in order to develop self reliance. It takes time.

Your job is to now:

•find things that make you feel good in life - new hobbies and activities

•accept that alone time is a normal part of life, and embrace it

•reframe your negative relationship with yourself

•learn to stop creating unrealistic expectations in your head of other people that cause you to need extreme amounts of reassurance and validation

•practice thinking rationally instead of extremes... “He/she broke up with me because I’m ugly...” versus “We broke up because it wasn’t meant to be. Now, I can work on myself and so can he/she”

•make a list of progress that you’re making, make a list of goals you want to achieve for yourself, make a list of things you want to change

Eventually, you will be so busy with yourself, you won’t have time to entertain ideas of “happiness being another person”. Cut out all ideas of this person, and let them live their life. Let go of any refusals to be happy. You have to tell yourself you’re going to do your best in spite of what may be happening. Go through my confidence tag and let yourself live! Be gentle, be kind, and know that it takes time, but it will be worth it.

#answered #advice

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psycholadki · 4 years

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Virgo North Node in the 2nd House

Two of the most difficult axes of north node are in the signs of Virgo-Pisces and Taurus-Scorpio. The life lessons encompassing the axis of 2nd-8th house combined with the signs of Virgo-Pisces have to do with healing and security.

The sign of your north node shows what work you have to produce in this lifetime whereas your house placement shows which area of life will be affected.

House placement is more important than the sign of the north node.

Focus on achieving 2nd house goals as the main theme using the undertone of Virgo sign on your North Node.

Let's unpack what North node in 2nd house means, when you have your north node in the 2nd house, it serves similar purpose to the sign of Taurus but 2nd house and Taurus are not the same.

It is imperative to be self-sufficient in this lifetime as dictated by your north node in the 2nd house instead of being reliant on other's resources. You have to earn a living and learn how to manage wealth.

With 2nd house on your north node you derive easy money from others, but you really have to push yourself to create for yourself and build your self-esteem.

Plod on like a persistent and patient worker, stick with your vision for manifestation even if it takes longer than expected.

Never compromise your values for anything or anyone. Do it because it is at the core of who you are not because you want to please others.

Don't second guess yourself, don't be afraid of your choices and love the people you love even when they are not approved by the society/status quo.

Let go of your dependence on others for everything. Trust yourself, define your values, and work on your goals, non- attachment to material and who you were.

Having north node in Virgo means you have to embrace practicality and discernment over fantasy and escapism from the past lives. The most straightforward explanation of north node in Virgo would be you have to value maintaining a balance between your mind and body, discriminate between what is best for you vs what you are best without and devoting yourself to service to the society in a practical way.

The challenge comes from your south node in Pisces, when you may feel as you have achieved enlightenment and have become ego-less, you do not need to deal with the material world since you are over this. You are from the bottom of your soul a very kind and selfless person. You are so giving that your giving nature proved to be a detriment to your last lives.

Added to the mix of Pisces south node, if you combine 8th house what you get is someone who has devoted lives to spirituality and was unfairly manipulated by power struggles since you were not the ones in charge, you were dependent on others for resources and wanted to merge with the universe. Often the only possible way was through day-dreaming, addictions, alcoholism and any other means of escaping.

The key in this lifetime, with North node in Virgo in the 2nd house is be grounded in reality. Virgo and 2nd house (Taurus) are both earth signs, they trine each other (so do Pisces and Scorpio on your south node) but having the combination of earth signs on your north node means that practicality and being grounded will help you achieve your goals. Becoming and bringing in earth energy will help you stay focused, being in the nature, being aware of your surroundings, being worldly wise and being able to earn one’s own income through practical avenues.

Seeing your ideas (Virgo- ruled by Mercury) into a physical manifestation (product of 2nd house) is your ultimate quest in life.

You are called upon to be a hard worker with values of devotion to mankind, minding your own business, drawing strong boundaries to understand what you want in life and how much are you willing to share and how much should you keep with you. Having a balance between give and take in relationships as well as realizing that you help others through helping yourself.

Your self-care is also a service to the society, build your self-esteem by working towards concrete goals.

Becoming a writer, doctor, healer, therapist or writing your business plan and then implementing a plan of action to achieve the goal is where your pot of gold lies.

You have already seen that material world is not the answer, the idea is not to immerse yourself with material world but rather to strike a balance in your universe so that nobody can take advantage of your kind heart and you can still achieve 100% of your goals by providing service to humanity and that uplifts your self-esteem and zest for life to give back more to society from a place of healthy self-love.

Life Purpose in two words: Grounded Earnings

South node in Pisces: - Ungrounded, floating in the mystic world without proper ground beneath one, giving other people one’s personal power to save relationships and other people.

South node in 8th house: - Learning to come to balance with matters relating to intimacy, co-dependency, and deep things in your life. Let go of support from others- financial, physical, moral, spiritual, legacies, sex, occult, assets of partner, psychic sensitivity.

North node in 2nd house:-Discover your own values, depend on yourself and to establish our self-worth through our own efforts. We cannot develop our self-worth through others alone, it needs to come from within. Learning to define our goals based on our values, and then to work toward achieving them in a patient manner, will help us achieve more happiness and inner balance.

North node in Virgo: - You are learning how to discern between real and fantasy, practically moving towards one’s goals by following routines. Practically healing and nursing people through concrete ways.

The Issue of Values-

"You don’t go shopping for your own valuables because you only value what other people own. You want what they have because you don’t value your own experiences or your own feelings. Other people hold all of the power. Taking what they have is your way of feeling less inferior and invisible." – Heather Havrilesky

Another issue with this placement is feeling others have it better, going after your best friend's guy, or buying the latest gadget as per society's approval or wanting whatever other people are having because you value 8th house and you are just beginning to learn about 2nd house (your own values), so therefore you value other's viewpoints more than your own. 2nd house points to minding one's own business and doing hard work and taking a break here and now to smell the roses, to appreciate the small things in life about nature we take for granted such as spending a day in the field. With your south node in the 8th house, you've experienced trauma, psychological torture, wars, famine and what not, so this is the lifetime where you get to experience the opposite swing and enjoy life's simpler pleasures with gratitude and by being generous. Live and let go~

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Havrilesky, H., 2018. [Blog] THE CUT.

#astrology #North Node #north node in 2nd house #north node in virgo #virgo north node #virgo north node in 2nd house

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pollenat · 3 years

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“Nocturnal silence” | cjs.

➛ ITZY’s Lia. 2012!au.

➛ Word count: 1854.

➛ This short follows the events of “Liquid mirrors”.

The worst part about the overcrowded cabin has to be the snoring woman. The very same one that just a few hours ago complained about the lack of fresh brussels sprouts on a ship - the last ark of humanity after the end of the world. Humankind has gone mostly extinct, and she had the guts to be angry at frozen greens. Looking at her through half-closed lids, you’re itching to throw a pillow at the woman. Nothing can stop her from going on, like an old tractor, choking on its own engine every now and then. The very pillow you’re trying to deafen the noises with, does nothing to your sensitive ears. You’re growing more and more irritated with each passing second.

Others seem to not mind. You look down, at the bunk underneath yours, where a mother with her son are sound asleep. The boy has kicked thin blanket off of his body, as if to prove how much space he can take. His mother is lying on the very edge, somehow calm despite her tragic situation. A man, lying above the snoring woman, has earplugs. Lucky asshole.

Your body thrashes around for an hour or so. At least it feels like it. The duvet is in desperate need of changing, but who cares about laundry during the apocalypse? You’re all sticky from sweat, annoyed by incoming headache and ready to commit a murder, which is just a figure of speech, don’t worry. The fact that nobody else is as affected by the snoring? A perfect way to drive you insane.

At some point you can’t take it anymore - the night feels useless. You miss the rays of sunshine, the sign of life, the reason to stay away from the cabin. Tonight, just like many times before, you jump off of bed, barely avoiding the snoring woman’s husband. He has made himself a sleeping station on the ground. You wonder is he really asleep or just way more patient than you. Either way, you don’t plan on staying around a second longer. As soon as the door closes, you’re welcomed by sweet silence. It’s an odd contrast to the loud snoring. Its lack has you almost creeped out.

The floor is cold under your naked feet. To the point where you can’t touch it for longer than a few seconds. Jumping from one foot to another, you look down the dark hallway. Its only source of light are small windows in the cabins’ doors. Circle-shaped rays fall on walls, like headlights, showing you the way across narrow scene.

Nobody will mind you getting lost in the ship’s hallways, right? You’re just another survivor, struggling to find their place aboard the ark. There are no perspectives. Exploring it seems to be the most compelling thing one could busy themselves with. So you travel down the scene, stepping inside the circles of light and looking inside the cabins as you pass. There’s no other soul up. Everybody is sleeping. It’s sort of weird and you wonder whether it’s just a dream you’re stuck in. How come you’re the only one unable to fall asleep?

Humming some tune you faintly remember makes the night feel more bearable. You’re tired of the crowded spaces, of eyes settling on you, even if they’re just traveling. They’re a tiresome phenomenon that does nothing, but fuel your anxiety. The worst part? Aside from the night, there’s nowhere to escape. All-ocean has made sure of that.

Step by step, you move forward, never putting a foot down for longer than two seconds. You’ve already observed that, but now it reminds you of the past. The tiled floor of your balcony during Winter. Dusting used duvets while cursing at temperature. Welcoming the texture of a carpet with relief. Digging your toes into the fluff. It’s weird to miss carpets in the middle of the night, but you do. Their last reminder is the one snoring woman’s husband uses as his mattress, an object completely out of your reach. What interior designer forgot about additional carpets onboard a luxury ship?

In front of you a door opens. Some silhouettes leave their cabin in hurry. Hushed giggles resonate down the hallway. You can neither make out a sense to their conversation nor put faces to dark shapes. But they do sound familiar. The silhouettes disappear behind a corner in the hallway’s other end.

Heart beating fast, your steps speed up. A thought, string of memories, collection of pictures swims in the back of your head. Common sense is the only thing keeping you from describing them. Number 203 is meaningful, though it’s just a number.

You’re just by the door when it opens again.

“Oh!” Jisoo. Jisoo? Jisoo! “You scared me!” She laughs, eyes morphing into crescent moons. But as soon as her voice raises in volume, Jisoo covers her mouth, worried she will wake up other residents.

“I see there are more night owls around the ship?” You motion at where the two silhouettes, you can now safely identify, disappeared.

The girl looks in the same direction. Her eyes stay there for a longer time, while you watch her profile. Perhaps (you won’t admit it), you should be thanking the snoring woman for a chance to see Jisoo at a different time. Her hair is disheveled, but the little mess is a beautiful one. Eyes glossy, lips dry, t-shirt creased. She’s a painting you enjoy watching. Even when her smile disappears as she returns to facing you.

You grow nervous instantly, because the mood shifts and you slightly prefer the easy-going Jisoo to solemn and serious Jisoo. The easy-going one loves joking, which is much better, as it consists mostly of laughing at yourself and your inability to form proper sentences.

“Uh, yes. I don’t know why Ryujin and Yuna left though. They didn’t tell me. Probably to spy on Yeji.” Pause. “Or something...”

“So, are you going to follow them?” Jisoo seems to consider your question.

Then she steers the conversation to your person.

“I don’t know- Why are you up? Came to spy on Yeji too?”

“As if it has ever bothered me what's Yeji doing at night. I have my own problems, mainly, a snoring roommate.”

Jisoo nods her head in understanding, mouth opened to build on the effect. You’re stuck in nocturnal silence, both scared to break it. Frankly, you don’t even have any idea where to go from here. Maybe you should just return to exploring the ship, but then again, it’s not everyday that you catch Jisoo alone.

“I’ve been walking around, you know, exploring.”

Again, she nods.

“So you’re looking for some place to rest?”

“In a way, yes. Do you happen to know any?” She smiles.

“Actually, I do.”

You’re surprised by her boldness. Jisoo lies down on her bed and you’re watching her with an awkward surprise.

“Don’t make it weird, I’m just sharing a bed with you. Okay, perhaps it does sound weird. But we’re just going to sleep, not- do anything weird? Okay, ignore me. I don’t know what I’m talking about.” To be honest, her joke doesn’t make you feel any better about the situation.

After a defeated sigh, you walk over to the bed, eyes never once meeting hers. Jisoo holds the edge of her duvet. She’s patiently waiting until your stiff posture joins her side. Then she slowly follows your lead.

The first thing you register is the smell - Jisoo’s smell. It’s an overwhelming sensations you’re eager to breathe in after many attempts at small doses. Now that you can experience it in its full form, you can safely say it’s bound to become one of your favorite sensations. It causes you excitement, one that you’re embarrassed to show. Maybe she will call you a creep if you don’t stop yourself from smiling? Suddenly worried, you look for other things to focus on. Like the coldness of her skin against your left hand’s knuckles. Frankly, it’s stuck. The bed is meant for one person and you can’t just sprawl across its surface.

A moment of hesitation passes. Then you turn to lie on your side, facing Jisoo.

At first you’re both stuck in shy silence. Jisoo’s looking down, perhaps thinking over something. But you don’t plan on disturbing her. It’s as if you’ve forgotten your tongue - you can’t even feel it. The darkness is all-consuming and you wish to stay hidden in its embrace, so Jisoo never learns of how hard it is for you to say a word, but also look away.

“So.”

Her eyes, so hesitant to meet yours, finally reach them. She’s surprised to find you staring back.

“How bad is it?”

“Bad?”

“Yeah, how bad is lying next to me on a bed?” Dark eyes pull away to avoid you.

Your brain orders you to be smooth. “It’s not bad.” isn’t the type of smooth you had in mind.

“But not good either? Ah, forget I said anything-” Jisoo laughs nervously through clenched teeth. “I’m just nervous. Because I made you come here with me! That’s why I’m nervous.”

“Jisoo,” The silence returns. “you don’t have to be nervous around me. I know, my magnetic personality and good looks are to die for,” She snickers in disbelief at your words. “but I’d rather you felt comfortable around me. Which doesn’t mean our current bed situation- I mean, I don’t mind it.”

There’s a blunt taste on your tongue. As if you have just finished your entry for a spelling bee and were in dire need of some water. Some actually meaning a lot.

“Do you think your roommates will make fun of us?”

“Definitely.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Silence.

“Um-” She dares a look into your eyes before dropping them again. “Let’s go to bed then, hm?”

You don’t think you’ll be able to fall asleep next to her. At least not with the possibility of seeing her face at the cost of merely opening your eyes. Jisoo seems to have the same idea. Her turning around causes a way too powerful sting somewhere in your abdomen. Before you know it, instead of her soft face structure, you’re looking at void-like black of her hair.

Your left hand sticks to your chest, but what about the right one? Keeping it on your thigh feels tiring. Placing it on Jisoo’s side? Too wonderful and too dangerous. Even if you’re itching to offer yourself, you cannot imagine the amount of courage it would demand from you. Instead, you rest it in the hold of your left hand. That way, perhaps, it will be stopped before any unconscious action takes place.

For a moment, you wonder, would she mind? Still, it’s a question you have no answers for. You also have no idea what will happen in the morning. How will the girls react? What will Jisoo do? How will you feel in the morning and will your left hand let go because of that damn itching...

Perhaps, the snoring woman is weaker than your true enemy - your vivid imagination.

“Goodnight Jisoo.”

“Goodnight.”

➛ pollenat’s list of headcanons

➛ pollenat’s list of shorts

➛ pollenat’s list of scenarios

#itzy fanfiction #itzy scenarios #itzy imagines #itzy fluff #itzy blurbs #itzy au #lia fanfiction #lia scenarios #lia imagines #lia fluff #lia blurbs #lia au #girl groups #pollenat's shorts

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theymakemegayer · 4 years

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Reputation: Chapter 2

author’s note: In a few hours we will have another QB update, and I have so many mixed emotions about the next chapter... Here’s something I hope can make you guys feel better.

PLEASE TAG POEPLE WHO WANTS TO READ POPPY X MC FICS. I know today’s update will mess up the tags for Poppy.

TW: for a little cursing, I tried to censored it tho

Chapter 1

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After parting ways with Zoey, I enter my classroom for my first subject. My eyes scan the vacant seats. I had just put my laptop down when someone spoke behind me.

"Well, isn't this very exciting. Bea Hughes." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm, turning around I was met with Chloe frowning at me.

"You've got to be kidding me. You again?"

"You think I enjoy seeing your face early in the morning? You must be still asleep and dreaming newbie." She crossed her arms in front of her.

I laughed humorlessly, "Don't try to be funny."

Her lips tugged into a smirk, "You know what would be funny right now?"

I raised my eyebrow, a part of me starting to get nervous. This was definitely bad news. Plastering a smile, she casually dumped her coffee on my laptop. My eyes grew wide. She laughed at my reaction.

I scowled at her, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

A voice interrupted us. "What is going on here?"

I turned around and my eyes landed on Ina standing at the top aisle, a briefcase in hand. Holy Shi-?

Chloe smiled at her, "Nothing Professor Kingsley. I'm just helping Bea clean up the coffee she spilled in her laptop. She is so clumsy."

My mind blacked out for a moment, all I can think about was Chloe calling her Professor. Like falling down on the ground and being slapped by reality, realization hit me.

"Y-you're my professor?" I managed to voice out.

Ina cleared her throat then plastered her professional smile. "If you're in my Behavioral Science in practice course then yes." Then she proceed on the podium ready to start the class.

I sat weakly trying not to look at Ina. I took a couple of breaths calming my racing mind and heart.

This should be some kind of joke right? I cast a look at her surprisingly she also looked at me at that moment. I avoided her gaze. I groaned internally. God this is so awkward and messed up.

After my grueling and awkward first period I rushed out of the classroom calling Zoey and wanting to meet her in our dorm.

I was already in our dorm building when someone called me out.

"Bea! Wait up!" I turned around and saw this random guy power walking towards me.

"That clapback against Poppy yesterday was all over my social media. It was epic!" He said once he was in front of me.

"Oh... thanks?"

"You don't know how much it means to me that someone is finally standing up towards Poppy. I'm totally on your side."

"Thanks. I'm happy to stand up too towards people like that."

He grinned, "I'm Benji by the way. Your residence advisor. If you ever need anything, I'll be here."

"Thanks Benji, but I need to go already." I glance at my wrist watch. "I need to meet up with a friend. It was nice meeting you Benji."

"Sure! it was nice talking to you, Bea." He said waving goodbye to me.

Once I arrived at our shared dorm memories of my dilemma and stress came back into me in full swing. I was pacing back and fort in our living room area when Zoey arrived.

"Hey you okay?" She slouched on the couch facing me.

"Zoey..." I pouted.

"What happened? It's sounded like some kind of emergency when you called."

I sighed and plopped down beside her. "It is." I huffed before telling her what happened.

"Okay you what now?" She exclaimed looking me dead in the eye.

"Ina... Professor Kingsley she was the one I met at the speakeasy last night." I groaned hiding my face on my hands.

"You guys kissed?"

"We made out to be exact. Thank God you called me last night Zo. I don't know how messed up it will be if I happen to sleep with her." I groaned again.

"You sure you don't like her Bea? Almost everyone in Belvoire has a crush on her. And you happen to even made out with her. Heck you were so close with sleeping with her too."

I groaned removing my hands on my face I looked at her in the eye, "Please don't remind me and Zo having a crush is different with practically making out with her."

"Oh then let me add that apart from having a crush I'm sure some of the students thirst for her."

I sighed, "Well yes Ina is attractive, but knowing that she's my professor. I just can't Zoey. Seeing her a while ago became so awkward to me."

Zoey wrapped me in her embrace. "Sorry I should have known you're really different from the people around here Bea."

"This scholarship I have is really important to me Zo. I can't afford to be this careless and lose this." My voice was muffled in her shoulders.

She caressed my back soothingly, "I'm sure you won't lose this. Have you talked to Professor Kingsley yet?"

Sighing I withdrew from our hug, "Not yet. I was so shock seeing her a while ago. I can't talk to her yet nor be left alone with her."

Zoey frowned, "You seem really stressed about this Bea. Wanna go out again tonight?"

I raised an eyebrow, "What's on your mind?"

She grinned, "Let's crush the Alpha House's Welcome Week Bash tonight! It'll help with your ranking, you'll have a good time and maybe will bump into Poppy there and piss her off."

The moment she mentioned Poppy, I swear I was already sold to crush this party, but of course I won't admit that to anyone specially not to Zoey. She'll get mad if she knew.

I beamed, "Okay you had me sold with pissing Poppy off. " A little lie won't hurt right?

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We arrived at the party an hour ago. The only 'almost' mishaps we had was getting inside - which was an easy job if you had me and Zoey; with the right charm and words Michael let us in. The music was blasting loudly, the people occupied with different games and drinks, and the frat boys diving once in a while in the jello pool - the party was in full swing.

"Bea! Bea! Bea! Bea! Bea!" People chanted as I won another game. I grinned at them when a clap suddenly cut through the cheers.

"How lovely. Luis and his brothers already done with their charity work for this semester. Don't mistake it for kindness Farmsville."

I turn around at the sound of that voice and came face to face with Poppy. She's with Chloe and I think that was Veronica who was busy with her phone.

I rolled my eyes, "I was starting to think when you will show up and grace us with your presence, Poppy."

She rolled her eyes, "I must say hanging out with the boys is definitely a step up from this another nobody." She gestured dismissively towards Zoey without taking her eyes off me. "You know I think we can be friends Farmsville. You clearly learned how to dress up too." Her eyes roamed at me. Oh God. Please this is torture. I tried to school my expression even though my mind was about to explode. Her eyes finally landed on my face a smirk ghosting on her lips. Bea focus.

"And why would I want to be friends with a bully like you?" I crossed my arms staring at her hard.

"Because I ran this school. You have two options here, I can make your stay here like a living hell or..." She grinned sweetly, "I can make it heaven. All you have to do is leave the dead weight here." She smirked at Zoey who was glaring at her.

I frowned not liking how she addressed Zoey, "You know what Poppy? Zoey is better than you in every way." I step closer at her standing in my full height. "If you wanna be friends with me" I smirked, "Here is a little tip." I leaned closer and I swear did her breath hitched? I whispered, my breath tickling on her ears making sure she was the only one who can hear it, "I just need you to be Poppy, not Poppy Min-Sinclair or any of these masks you wear, just you." I leaned back and plastered my sweet, sweet smile as I watch Poppy's dumbfounded reaction - and something I can't name flickered in her eyes.

Not even a second passed when she scowled at me, "You wish Farsmville. We ran by my rules not yours."

I sighed dramatically, "Well it's your lost then." I stepped back and smirked at her.

She was about to speak again when Ford interrupted us , "Hold that thought." He ran towards the pool and dived.

Poppy shrieked darting away from the spraying jello. Carter - which I found out to be Poppy's boyfriend slung his arm around Poppy. "It's just a little jello babe. C'mon let's jump too! It'll be fun."

Wriggling free from Carter she glared at him, "Do I look like I am dressed for a swim on that colored sugar?"

"But -"

"Hang on!" Luis suddenly interrupted. "Sorry bro. I'm just thinking, Bea seems really cool I bet she'll love to join the fun and swim in the jello pool. What do you think?"

"I mean, I'm always up for new experiences." I stated with a grin.

"See! Come on Bea!" Luis cheered.

Grinning as an idea popped in my head I yelled, "Poppy hold your breath!"

Shocked she spoke, "Why would-"

But before she can even finished her sentence I was running towards her and pushed her towards the pool. She shrieked, "BEA HUGHES!"

"Can't let her have all the fun." As I leaped in the jello pool I can hear people cheering, a bubble of happiness surged through me.

When I finally got up I saw Poppy completely mufunctioning, "There's like jello... in every crevice of my body."

I inched closer to her, "Was jello pool that bad?" I laughed when she threw me a glare.

"This is your fault Farmsville."

I raised my hands in mock surrender, "Hey I just wanted you to let lose a little."

"Stop talking to me." She growled. Oops is she really pissed off now?

"Cannon ball!" Luis yelled only dressed in his underwear as he dove spluttering more jello towards Poppy and me.

Poppy shrieked again. I can hear Chloe desperately saying, "Somebody help her. She has a jello phobia." While Michael laughed, "Nice look Pops! The green really brings out your eyes."

Poppy screamed finally reaching her limit. Carter finally helped her out of the pool bringing her some towel.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL." She yelled one last time before sprinting inside, while Chloe and Veronica followed her.

Feeling a little guilty I decided to get out from the pool to dry myself up.

"Bea!" Zoey called out for me. I sat at the edge of the pool and she swam closer to me. She smirked, "Love how you pissed off Poppy."

I smiled at her trying to bury the feeling of heaviness inside of my chest. "And I love how pretty you look right now."

Zoey laughed, "Flutterer."

At the corner of my eyes I saw Veronica and Chloe entering again. Okay, where's Poppy? It was probably not helping at all that Carter just dove passed us towards the jello pool. Oh damn it.

"Hey Zoey. I just need a little bathroom break." I stood up carrying the towel with me. "I'll be back." I winked at her before power walking inside the house.

I almost gave up on finding where Poppy might be when I stumbled on the garage. She was standing - her back facing me and mumbling to herself. "I hate that Farmsville." She groaned.

I suppressed my smile before speaking, "Don't you think hate is a strong word to use?"

She whipped her head around so fast and threw a glare at me once she saw me. "What are you doing here Farmsville?" She said through gritted teeth.

"I can be anywhere I want you know. You don't own this." I gesture on the garage where we are.

"Didn't you pissed me enough today? Do you really want a death sentence so bad?" She glared at me.

I laughed and raised my hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. I'll stop teasing. I just stumbled here, I swear."

She raised an eyebrow, "Then get lost. I don't want to talk nor see your face."

I crossed my arms, "What are you even doing here alone though?"

"I'm waiting for my driver. I'm going home since I feel so grossed out thanks to you. Now will you leave me alone."

Instead of following what she said, I stepped closer towards her.

"Are you deaf? I said get lost."

I lifted my hand holding out the towel I had in me and ignored her as I wiped out some jello remains on her hair. She flinched the first time the towel touched her hair.

"Relax. I swear I was just cleaning a jello out of your hair." I mumbled.

She remained silent which was surprising, so I look at her and that was when I realized I was standing too close to her. My hand stopped wiping her hair in mid-air and my eyes grew wide at the realization. Poppy was looking at me intently. Her eyes wasn't glaring at me, but it was searching for something in me. I can feel the heat creeping on my cheeks because of the way she looked at me.

"W-What?" I stuttered stupidly.

"Why are you doing this Newbie?" She whispered like her question itself was not meant to be heard by anyone, but I heard it - I heard her. The tone of her voice was softer and clearer than her usual tone.

I gulped, "I'm doing nothing. What do you mean?"

"You..." She was still looking at me before sighing and averting her eyes from me. "Whatever. Forget I asked anything."

She took a step back and turned her back towards me. "Just answer this one thing."

"Yeah?" I spoke my voice quivered a little as I fidgeted with the towel in my hands.

"Did you mean what you said earlier? That tip. You only need me to be Poppy and you will be my friend?"

I grinned as warmth blossomed in my chest, "Yeah."

At that moment Poppy's car arrived. A man opened the door for her. Before stepping inside Poppy halted like she wanted to say something. She shook her head a little before finally entering the car. What were you gonna say? I tried to bury that curiosity as I watch her car leave. I finally let out the breath I wasn't aware I was holding back.

"Today had been weird." I mumbled as I started walking back inside.

#poppy x mc #queen b poppy #poppy min sinclair #makepoppyali2020 #fanfic #queen b

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