#30 MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT BUT ITS STILL DAY 6 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kysuguru · 8 months

Text

two out of three. that’ll work — stsg x fem!reader

synopsis : gojo still doesn’t take to you, but in the throes of your eyes geto’s smile is prettier and shoko’s personality is much more welcoming. you’ll live.

all mine masterlist

includes / cw : nothing ^_^

a / n : i’m sooooo sooo so sorry for such a long wait, truly. i nitpick HELLA. and i want everyone to remember this book was made on a whim. an impulse book if u will. so even though i have concrete ideas and outlines for the main plots, i’m writing as i go while making my way there. I trashed this about three times before finally coming to a conclusion i was somewhat satisfied with. please enjoy

You lay awake, staring at the ceiling of your dorm absentmindedly. Your alarm has yet to ring. It’s presumably thirty minutes before you have to get up and prepare for the day. Your eyes are burning and it hurts to blink, your throat feels dry and scratchy; aching for its thirst to be quenched, and your body is exhausted beyond belief. Your brain craves rest more than anything, but you still aren’t able to succumb to that sweet sleep you crave. It’s been about 15 minutes already, you think. If the steadily rising sun is anything to go by. Time passes by fast when you need it to be slow. Maybe it’s the nerves. Or the fact that it wasn’t until midnight that you returned to your dorm.

Five hours of sleep was the minimum you could get, your brain didn’t let you rest long. But you figured you’d be alright. Whenever curses were near your house, one instance of one being in your bedroom, you remember not sleeping at all if not at least 30 minutes. You got in trouble that day and scolded by your mother for sleeping in class.

As of now, your eyes are droopy and red and your body feels cramped. But the accomplishment you feel after understanding more of this foreign world of curses overrode your exhaustion. You’re not sure if you feel that same sentiment now though. You cursed your past self for putting you through such strain. Your thirst for knowledge occasionally brought you one step forward and two steps back. Being all knowing was the only way you felt significant.

As of the moment, it was one of those instances where your yearning hurt more than it nourished. Though, it was all really fascinating. Cursed energy, cursed techniques, and how they worked and came to be, there wasn’t a second you could bring yourself to put the books down. To believe the negative emotions of people fester into those horrid creatures…

It’s no wonder they were around every single corner of your school.

You’re embarrassed to say you still have no idea what your technique is, or the innate technique you were born with — or if you had an innate technique for that matter. From what you know being born with an innate technique isn’t all that likely. They manifest from ages 4-6 yet no matter how much you shuffled through your memories to see if there were any instances where you were forced to use your technique, you’re left with nothing. Maybe you did and just don’t know or don’t remember — that’s the most irritating part. You grip your hair slightly, eyes burning into the white of your walls.

There are bags forming under your eyes, you think. It hurts a bit to blink, since you got accustomed to keeping them open while flipping through books, the intrigue not allowing you to divert your attention from the pages for even a second. But to you, it was worth it. One more step to learning about this and making your way back home. To where your mother was (hopefully) missing you just as much as you do her. Maybe you should get up and attempt to cover up the evidence of your lack of sleep.

You turn to lay on your side, staring at your open palm. If you look close enough you can see a faint scar. You clench your fist closed, blinking groggily. Your breathing starts to get steadier as you stare at your knuckles, your eyes feel as if weights are pulling them down, your mind wanders to random things you don’t remember thinking about a millisecond later.

Before you know it, you’re falling asleep.

Though the three seconds of bliss was nice while it lasted, before the familiar obnoxious beep of your alarm clock rang through your ears.

You sigh. You should’ve expected that. Your mind slipped once you woke and you forgot to turn that damned thing off. Though maybe that mistake was a blessing, being late to your first day of class would be a horrible first impression. Or would it be second..?

Now you stand in the mirror and eye your uniform with intense uncertainty. You have an inkling that you look stupid. So you tug your skirt down a little bit. Ok, now you look 12. You pull up the hem.

…

Maybe you should add stockings.

The addition is better, you deduce. You’re content with this. You smile at your reflection, speaking encouraging words to yourself internally. You feel your body shake a bit at the idea of entering the classroom, the thought of four pairs of eyes glued to your form, but your body relaxes slightly at the memory of Shoko. She called you her friend, whether or not it was genuine, you’ll take what you can get. There is no point in being greedy and craving for what you don’t have — or deserve.

You lift your leg and adjust the back of your shoe to fit over the sole of your feet properly. You huff in satisfaction, standing straight and adjusting whatever you could before heading out.

Wait. Do you need supplies? Shit, now you’re nervous all over again.

Wait, wait, wait. If you needed supplies, you would’ve been informed earlier, so if required, Yaga should be obligated to give you what you don’t have.

…That’s unless he did mention it and you just weren’t listening.

Your back is against your dorm room door as you grip your head in agony. Maybe you should just tell Yaga you got the one-day flu and figure it all out tomorrow.

“Yo. You look like an idiot doing that.”

The voice is familiar, but not familiar in the way you’d like. He was no Geto, and he definitely wasn’t Shoko. You look up, eyes watery, and meet Gojo’s gaze.

“You going through something? Wait, don't answer that, I don’t wanna know,” He says, waving his hand obnoxiously, his lips downturned. “Hate to interrupt whatever’s goin’ on, but class is in thirty minutes. If you’re anything like Suguru you’re an early bird, right?”

“Oh.. sort of,” You respond, trying to discreetly wipe whatever tears that might’ve formed. He watches you do it anyway, following your movements closely. You’re a little humiliated now. He probably thinks you’re pathetic.

His stare is unrelenting, you can feel it even behind those pitch black lenses. It burns into you. Through you. You drop his gaze, eyes on the floor as you shuffle your feet.

Did he need anything else? You’re grateful he let you know when class begins, but you two aren’t exactly best friends, and you're positive this is awkward for the both of you.

But you see his shoes from your peripheral view and they stay rooted to the floor. You hold back a shaky sigh.

“Are you heading to class right now?” You ask in hopes to get rid of the suffocating silence. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to starting conversations. Your eyes are still memorizing every dirt particle on your new shoes (which feel odd to wear, you’re so used to staring anxiously at the ones your mother gifted you a year or two ago). Why did he, out of all people, approach you during your crisis? You wished more than anything that it was Shoko, but from what you know about her alone, you’re more sure than ever that she doesn’t go to class early.

“I don’t usually go early, that’s Suguru’s thing. But I guess todays an exception.” You blink, he has a lot to say. You expected a short, clipped answer. “Anyways what’re you doing out here, and what was with the gripping your head thing? Going through a phase?” He asks a barrage of questions, making sure to push his glasses up in case they slipped a smidge. You seemed perceptive, he didn’t need you staring him down and reading him.

“Oh, I was nervous. That’s all.”

Gojo nods, staring at you for a few seconds longer before his feet finally pick up from their spot on the floor. He’s walking off.

“Wait!” Your heartbeat spikes as the exclamation leaves your lips.

His shoes squeak against the tiles as he halts. He doesn’t turn towards you, but the fact that he stopped let you know he heard you. You don’t know why your heart is beating so loud, you’re only asking a simple question.

“Do we need any particular supplies for class, by any chance?” Your voice rises a pitch, and you fiddle with your skirt, positive you’re coming off as annoying.

“We take notes every now and then, by we I don’t mean me, so a notebook would be nice but isn’t required, and you don’t look like you have one with you.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, finally facing you, “Let’s hope you have a good memory. Sensei likes to run his mouth.” He jabs, most likely to see you panic. It works.

Your eyes widen and you bite your lip, fiddling with your skirt, but you’re shocked once you hear Gojo laugh. He throws his head back and you stare a bit. You’re gonna admit, you expected it to be a little more rough and loud. It sounds a bit odd, but it’s kinda funny to listen to, almost enough to make you laugh along. Now the question that’s been sitting on your tongue has the sudden urge to come forward.

Your mouth moves before your mind processes, “Can I walk to class with you?”

“Huh?”

You screwed up, you didn’t mean to ask that — I mean you did. But with his response you’re kind of regretting it now. “Sorry. It’s just I don’t remember the way, and if you’re on your way there I thought maybe I can tag along. Though, it’s okay if you say no.” You wave your hands frantically, trying your best to salvage whatever dignity you have left. You instantly start playing with your nails, looking down at your shoes.

He’s silent for a moment, as if contemplating. Then he sighs.

“Whatever. Do what you want.”

You beam, thankful.

“I promise not to be annoying.”

“You’re already being annoying by saying that.”

“Sorry!”

“Stop apologizing.”

“Sorry. Oh wait uh..”

“…”

He scoffs before walking forward. You sprint a bit to catch up with his pace. He has really long legs. You stare at his side profile as he walks, if he notices your eyes, he doesn’t say anything. But you catch the twitch of his brow. You watch every movement you catch on his features intently, dead set on getting to know him more. You wonder if your gaze feels as burning as his does on you. As if he knows you inside out.

You were never aware of your staring problem until now.

Gojo is struggling himself. Trying not to meet your gaze. It proves to be difficult, for he wants to glare you down and watch you squirm nervously before you finally break eye contact. He hates how bare he feels when you stare.

“Gojo, what’s your inherited technique?”

“Infinity,” he pops a sucker into his mouth, uninterested. But you ignore that, eyes wide as you gasp in awe, intrigued.

“Can you explain that to me?”

Gojo catches sight of your expecting face, how your eyes glittered as your lips part. He can’t help the stroke of his ego. He quickly became smug.

“I have the ability to manipulate and distort space.” His glasses slip a smidge down the bridge of his nose, you can see a sliver of his eyes. He doesn’t push them up like you expect him to, he tends to do that — from what you’ve noticed — and they’re glowing. “Hold out your hand,” he demands, long fingers splayed out in your face.

You reach up and before you can press your fingertips against his palm, a barrier is manifested between the two of you. “Woah, there’s like.. a wall between us.”

“It’s infinity.”

You look up at him, even more in awe, “So it’s science, right? That makes it easy to explain then, huh? I thought it was way more complicated than that.” You’re too engrossed in repeatedly retracting your hand and pressing it back against this “barrier” to notice how Gojo’s expression shifts.

He pulls his hand back as if he’d been burnt and you blink, swiftly putting your own hand back by your side. A frown plagues your lips. You figure you did get a bit carried away, it was really nice to see a cursed technique at play for the first time ever. And you’re glad it was something as magnificent as that. You got excited, forgetting boundaries.

Before you can express your gratitude and apologize, Gojo is striding off once more. You notice this time he’s walking a bit faster, as if he intends on leaving you behind. Your brows knit as you sigh. You don’t jog up to him this time, letting the distance between you increase. You’re always taught not to be greedy. Occurrences like this coming into play to drill that in your head, yet you fail every time — constantly wanting more.

You enter the classroom a bit after Gojo, already seeing him with a big beam on his face as he rambles off with Geto. He’s mad at you again, you think. This is normal for you — people being upset with you. It shouldn’t hurt, but it does. You try your hardest to pretend it doesn’t.

Shoko’s not here yet, unfortunately. You see two empty seats and assume the vacant one by Geto is Shoko’s, so you take the other seat. You aren’t sure what to do with this extra time, you shouldn’t have come so early, so you settle with fiddling with your fingers and looking out the window.

You hear Geto’s voice and you’re not sure if you’re being looked at, but you’re way too nervous to check, afraid that if you looked you’d be caught.

“Ogawa.”

It isn’t until a full minute later you realize that Geto was trying to get your attention the entire time. You finally look at him, the curiosity brimming in your chest and the urge to look back finally sated. His smile is kind and soft. He pats the empty seat beside him. “Why don’t you sit?”

You jolt.

“Isn’t that Shoko’s seat?” You point nervously, trying to find a way out of this. If conversation is what Geto is looking for, you’re the last person that can provide.

Gojo scoffs and you retreat into yourself, eyes averted.

You faintly hear Geto shove Gojo and tell him to shut up over the loud pounding of your heartbeat before he’s turning back to you, that same, already familiar smile plastered on his lips. “I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“You.. really want me to sit by you?” You ask, hopefully. You guess you still have yet to learn and expect disappointment. Geto nods, his smile getting brighter and you glow like the stars.

You stand meekly, shuffling into the seat as quietly as you could, cringing when the metal cried loudly against the tile floor. Geto huffs in satisfaction and your shoulders relax a bit. You wish Gojo weren’t here to stare the both of you down, you feel somewhat uncomfortable by his overwhelming presence. You have an inkling that disturbing you is his goal, for a small smirk paints his lips.

Geto’s voice is soft as he speaks to you. He’s asking you about yourself and you answer somewhat vaguely, unsure of how to go about talking to him. You stammer a bit, trying to find your words. You get a bit fidgety, afraid he might get irritated with you, but he’s as patient as ever, smiling as he awaits your answer. That’s when you relax completely, finding it easier to answer him in stride. You never knew Geto could be so easy to talk to. You’re starting to like him even more. It’s hard not to favor people who are nice to you. But you can’t get ahead of yourself. You have to learn to expect disappointment so you won’t be disappointed.

Gojo doesn’t say a word, staring at the two of you converse so easily. He doesn’t understand why Geto seems so interested in getting to know you. You’re boring, you don’t even know your technique for crying out loud. Weak people piss Gojo off.

Gojo walks by you as you hold your head in your hands, leaning against your dorm door. He’s confused, are you going through something? You look stupid, and he withholds the urge not to laugh at your expense. If Geto were here he’d definitely scold him. He thinks of that and the nagging Geto would put him through. He rolls his eyes and decides to approach.

“Yo. You look like an idiot doing that.”

Well he didn’t actually mean for it to come across that way, but sometimes his mouth likes to run before his brain liked to function.

You look up at him, tears brimming your lashes. The sight makes him sigh internally. If he knew you’d be crying he would’ve avoided you altogether. Comforting you is beyond his expertise. Well.. it’s not. He’d just rather not waste his time.

He asks if you were going through it. Another moment of his mouth moving before his brain. But you don’t seem to take offense, more like you just seem a bit embarrassed at being caught nearly crying.

“Hate to interrupt whatever’s goin’ on, but class is in thirty minutes. If you’re anything like Suguru you’re an early bird, right?”

You answer meekly, wiping your tears with your sleeve. He catches himself eyeing your attire behind his glasses. He’s staring at you and he’s positive you can tell, for your head tips towards the floor. You seem to be awaiting his departure, but he stays rooted to the floor, content on tormenting you this way.

“Are you heading to class right now?”

He never expected you to be the type to start a conversation, not with him especially. He noticed how uneasy you felt around him. But he cuts you some slack and answers.

“I don’t usually go early, that’s Suguru’s thing. But I guess todays an exception. Anyways what’re you doing out here, and what was with the gripping your head thing? Going through a phase?” He answers you and throws a barrage of questions coyly.

You blink. Gojo realizes how much left his mouth at once and pushes up his glasses. You come up with a sorry answer and Gojo decides he’s wasted enough time. If he got there now he could talk to Suguru about yesterday’s conversation with the higher ups before Yaga arrives. He starts to walk off, now considering the conversation boring.

Your voice interrupts his stride, you sound somewhat panicked and he contemplates hearing you out. You must’ve taken his stillness as a cue.

“Do we need any particular supplies for class, by any chance?”

You sound anxious, and he doesn’t even have to look to know you’re shuffling your feet.

“We take notes every now and then, by we I don’t mean me, so a notebook would be nice but isn’t required, and you don’t look like you have one with you.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, and turns to face you. He was correct, this time you’re fiddling with your ridiculously long skirt.

“Let’s hope you have a good memory. Sensei likes to run his mouth.” The only entertaining thing about you is the expressions you make. And he isn’t disappointed with this one either. He doesn’t know why he finds your sorrow so comedic but this time he can’t hold back his laugh. If Geto knew about this or witnessed it, he’d definitely scold him, but Gojo doesn’t care at the moment, shoulders shaking as he cackled obnoxiously.

He sighs, wiping under his eyes, lifting his glasses a little. He thinks that’s enough for now, and prepares to walk off to class. But then you ask a question that makes him freeze, “Can I walk to class with you?”

“Huh?”

He raises a brow, he knows you can’t see it, but he’s looking at you as if you’re crazy.

You instantly wave your hands in panic, trying to explain yourself, he thinks your excuse is lame. “Sorry. It’s just I don’t remember the way, and if you’re on your way there I thought maybe I can tag along. Though, it’s okay if you say no.”

He’s extremely annoyed with you now, watching you fidget and shuffle about with a frown plaguing his lips. A rejection is already sitting on his tongue, ready to be fired, but he knows how disappointed Geto might be with him, so his shoulders drop.

“Whatever. Do what you want.”

He watches you instantly glow. You’re not smiling but he can tell you’re happy. It’s the first time he’s seeing an expression that isn’t filled with some type of despair on you. He thinks he prefers your anguish.

“I promise not to be annoying.”

He rolls his eyes, picking up his pace.

“You’re already being annoying by saying that.”

“Sorry!”

“Stop apologizing.”

You say sorry again and he scoffs to himself. Could you get any more annoying? He can hear your hurried footsteps as you try to match his stride, he feels a bit bad and slows down a bit, letting the two of you walk side by side. He did it to be nice, but it’s a decision he instantly regrets. Did your parents ever teach you that staring was impolite? The burning of your eyes against the side of his face pisses him off. But he tries his hardest not to show his anger on his face because of your intense stare.

He can’t help the twitch of his facade and he thinks you noticed. He’s resisting the urge to meet your stare, glare you down and watch you shuffle like you usually do. He craves to make you uncomfortable and show you who’s really stronger between the two of you. He really can’t comprehend where these hostile emotions are coming from but he also doesn’t care to dig deep and figure it out. It’ll come to him eventually. So for now he’ll get a bit excited as you ask about his cursed technique, jumping at the opportunity to show you how strong he is.

You’re in awe and his ego instantly skyrockets. You press your hand against his infinity over and over again, an intrigued gleam in your eyes as your lips part in a gasp.

“So it’s science, right? That makes it easy to explain then, huh? I thought it was way more complicated than that.”

For some reason that makes him irritated. “Easy to explain.” Funny coming from someone who had no idea what cursed techniques were barely twenty-four hours before. He pulls his hand away from you, as if he was burnt and instantly walks off. He thanks his long legs and their advantage to gain distance from you.

He resists the urge to turn and see your expression.

He originally did it all with Geto in mind; mulling over how he would feel if he’d left you deserted in that hallway, nervous eyes and shaky hands as you tried to find your way. Curse Geto for being such a heavy influence on him, because now he wished he’d never encountered you. Gojo considers his day already ruined before it barely started.

Now he sits and watches you converse with his best friend as if he was your best friend. Geto was always the friendly, welcoming type, so he can’t fathom why it irks him so. But it has to be your fault somehow, so until he figures that out he decides to brood in silence, arms crossed.

Shoko enters and your attention is instantly diverted. One of the many times Gojo is grateful for her existence. You were more comfortable with her than the other two. Probably a girls thing. Gojo didn’t care to understand. He instantly decided anything that had something to do with you would be ignored to the best of his abilities.

You greet Shoko in a quiet voice, as if cautious, and instantly brighten when she sends you a soft smile and a greeting in return. She points to her spot and looks at Geto inquisitively, hovering behind you. He just shrugs with a sheepish smile. So she simply sits and scoots her chair closer to you, waving her hand in a shooing motion towards Geto, “It’s my turn to hog her, your boyfriend looks upset, go comfort him.”

Geto’s head whips towards Gojo instantly, seeing his pouty expression with his arms crossed. He sighs in exasperation, a fond smile painting his lips.

You watch the two of them for a second or more before looking at Shoko. You didn’t know they were dating..

Shoko chuckles, and speaks up as if she read your mind, “They’re not actually dating. Yet, anyways. They love dancing in circles around each other. It’s irritating to witness. Utahime is a grade above me so unfortunately she doesn’t suffer through it as much as me.” She nudges you, her eyes crinkling as her smile stretches a bit wider, “You’re here with me now though, so we can suffer it together, kay?”

You nod eagerly, as if it was meant to be a good thing. Suffering anything is manageable if someone as kind as Shoko is there with you. You need to get her a gift for her kindness. Such a wonderful girl!

Yaga enters the room about twenty minutes later. Shoko lets you borrow a notebook of hers and you instantly get to jotting things down. You’re a bit surprised when you notice how mundane these subjects are. But it makes sense, you’re all still teenagers after all. You’d probably see it as inhumane if all this school taught to their students was jujutsu. No matter the importance of sorcerers and preserving the lives of non-sorcerers, it was always good to live life at least a little normally, to you anyways.

Time passed with you trying to avoid answering questions as much as possible. Even though you hated doing it, you also couldn’t help it. Whenever Yaga looked your way your eyes flew to your paper and you instantly got to acting busy to avoid getting picked on. Plus, it wasn’t like you needed to… Geto was there to answer every question smoothly for the rest of you, so there was no need, right?

Though you suppose it wasn’t evadable forever.

“[Name], can you answer this one?”

You jolt, looking up from your paper where you were “writing” (you just hovered the pen over the paper and moved it about). It was an easy algebra question, so you answered it with ease, albeit quietly. Yaga hummed in approval and moved on. It wasn’t all that bad, you recognize, but the attention is still unnerving.

Shoko nudges your side, “I got a smart girl on my radar it looks like,” she whispers. “You’ll let me copy your notes, right?” She jokes.

You nod instantly, the premise of the joke flying straight over your head. If it’ll keep her around you’ll write her as many notes as need be, you thought. It was the least you could do to repay her kindness!

She giggles quietly, and her laugh was instantly a melody you became enamored with. “I was joking, don’t worry. But you seem smart, born a genius like a certain someone, I presume?” She says coyly and her eyes drift to a particular person one seat down. You force your eyes not to drift in the direction of her finger.

“I usually study in my free time,” You shut down her assumption, you were nowhere near born a genius. “Guess you can say it’s a hobby of mine,” you shrug, whispering alongside her. It was nice, it felt like the two of you were sharing secrets.

“A hobby?” She laughs, shocked and intrigued. “You get more odd by the second.”

Your expression shifts, something she doesn’t hesitate to spot. She lays a hand on your shoulder and rubs it assuringly as she whispers, “No sweat, it’s a good thing. To me, at least. I don’t think I’d be friends with those two idiots otherwise.”

Your face relaxes and she smiles.

“Shoko,” you suddenly speak, surprising the both of you — you the most. Her eyes flit to your own and she sits, awaiting. “Do you like sweet things?” You ask, cupping your hand around your mouth as if that’ll make you any quieter.

Shoko entertains you with a grin and replicates you, hand cupped around her mouth as she leans close to whisper. Her eyes drift over you — if checking you out, something that escapes your notice — before she answers, “I love sweet stuff.”

You seem satisfied with her answer so she shifts her attention back to her notebook. Yaga turns around and her eyes flit between her notes and the board, pretending to be immersed. Though you don’t think she has anyone fooled. You glance at her for a moment more before you do the same and settle for doodling on the empty parts of your notes. Small doodles of Shoko and Geto holding gifts with big smiles on their faces. You subconsciously grin into your hand. You have no clue what either of them prefer but the thought is nice… Maybe you can ask later. Hopefully Geto will have a moment where Gojo isn’t hanging off of him.

You discreetly shuffle your position so you feel comfortable enough to gaze at him. He looks extremely focused, brows slightly furrowed as he taps his pen lightly against the desk, as if afraid to disturb the silent classroom. Your eyes drift a bit to catch a glimpse of his counterpart. A scoff of bewilderment almost involuntarily leaves your lips at the sight of Gojo simply trying to balance a pencil between his nose and the peak of his lip. Even though you have a sudden urge to call him out on his stupidity, this is actually the perfect opportunity to ask what you wanted from Geto without his leering glare, he seems distracted enough.

Yaga is turned towards the board too, voice booming loud enough that if you whispered, he wouldn’t be able to hear you over the sound of himself. It’s insane that you feel so nervous, as if speaking to a classmate during teaching is some sort of crime. But you recall the small doodle of him smiling happily with his gift and persevere.

A small, soft tap breaks Geto out of his reverie. His eyes blink in surprise before his gaze lands on you and your meek, almost guilty expression.

“Do you like sweet stuff?” Your soft voice whispers and he almost laughs aloud. You’re a horrible whisperer, and you’re both extremely lucky that Yaga’s voice echoes, for no one hears you.

He ponders your question for a moment, eyes drifting around your face before they settle back on your eyes. He’s grinning as he says, “Yeah. I like sweet stuff.”

Your visage glows with hope as you turn back to your paper, beaming. Geto’s smile becomes soft.

Brownies it is.

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sainzfilm · 1 year

Note

Through my eyes with white mustang or tomorrow never came ft Sean ono lenonon by lana del rey

And if you don't want to do any of those can you please do death with dignity by sufjan stevens

Also sorry if this sounds rude I've never really done this before ♡♡

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

a/n: this is actually one of my favorite songs hehe so beautiful yet so heartbreaking in ways that are just…mundanely experienced by people and dw about it!! not rude at all my love :) im apologizing in advance if i hurt someone from this because i hurt myself from writing this

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tomorrow never came - charles leclerc

The sun’s rays shone through the curtains that were slightly opened. Clothes scattered on the floor, pieces of the events that had unraveled the night before. Legs tangled up in sheets draped over your bare bodies as Charles held you close to him.

You sighed deeply, looking up at him with a faint smile on your face, “I love you.”

“I love you more, baby,” Charles mumbled as he kissed your temple, rubbing your back gently, “I’d do anything to wake up next to you every morning.”

Staring at the ceiling, you took a sip from the glass of wine in your hand as you waited for Charles’ call. As you sighed deeply, you mumbled to yourself, “Not surprised by that.”

You shook your head as you set the wine glass down and headed to your bedroom, laying in the bed that you shared countless times with the man you loved. Before you could zone out further, the phone ringing disrupted your thoughts, sliding to answer without checking the caller ID.

“What do you want?”

Charles chuckled softly in response to your snarky welcome, “Hello to you too, Y/N.”

“Oh, it’s you. Hi, Charles,” You mumbled as you propped your phone up to your ear, “Question still stands. What do you want?”

“I just wanted to ask what you’re doing,” He mumbled, the sounds of his footsteps echoing through the phone, “Is it wrong to check on my girl?”

“Let’s see. You said you’d call at 6 pm my time and time check, it’s nearly midnight,” You scoffed, turning the television on and mindlessly surfing through channels, “Your girl? Please, Charles. I haven’t felt like it for the longest time.”

“I’m sorry, I lost track of time,” Charles replied, the bitterness of the words lingering in his mouth, “I’m trying, okay? I’m already under enough pressure and your demands are not helping.”

“You know what? Just go to sleep. I don’t want to argue,” You sighed, rubbing your hand down your face as the frustration inside you bubbled, “I’m tired.”

“Just…will you meet me at our spot tomorrow? I promise I’ll be there,” He replied, laying in bed that was a few cities away from yours, “4 PM, I’ll be there.”

Hesitant to agree, you shook your head as you replied, “Okay fine. I’ll meet you there. Goodnight.”

Charles dropped the call, a lack of exchange in the aspect of saying of the three words that used to be thrown in between you back then.

As another day reeled itself in, you couldn’t care any less about what would go on from Charles asking to meet with you. In fact, if you were to be honest, you were thinking about breaking up with him right there and then.

Sitting down on the bench by the river, you exhaled as you looked down on your watch. 3:30 PM. People passed – happy couples, children playing with each other, and even students walking home from school.

It wasn’t until you felt droplets on the top of your head, frowning as you saw the light grey ground being covered with small dark circles.

“C’mon, Charles,” You mumbled as you tapped your foot on the sidewalk, the rain falling and slowly drenching you, “It’s fifteen minutes past the time.”

You tried to ring him up, it was no use being redirected to his voicemail over and over, “Dick move, Leclerc. So much for broken and empty promises.”

Standing up from the bench, you turned around to look at it one more time with a sad smile on your face from the memories that started making its way through your brain.

“You wanna sit for a while?” Charles smiled as he held onto your hand, “We’re in no rush, I’ll always have time for you, you know?”

“If you say it like that,” You teased, pulling him to a bench that faced the river and sat down as you sighed happily, “Nice spot, don’t you think?”

Charles nodded, putting an arm around you as you leaned against his shoulder, “Faces the sun setting behind the river perfectly.”

“What if we make this our spot?” You mumbled, watching the sun set before your eyes, “Not to be a cheesy romantic.”

“Then, it’ll be our spot, my love,” He smiled as he kissed the top of your head, pointing at the sun that was setting, “Every time the sun sets, another day comes around. Another day of me loving you like no tomorrow.”

Pulling away from his arms, you looked up at him and squished his cheeks in your hands, “You know, I love you. I wish you could stay with me.”

As he mirrored your actions, he couldn’t help but laugh from how silly the two of you must’ve looked from another point of view, “You know that I’ll always stay.”

You didn’t know whether it was the tears that was falling down your cheeks or the rain that came from above. All you know was that the love you had with Charles was a distant memory – one that would probably wear out like the initials that you carved on the bench that you waited on.

Taking a deep breath, you pulled your coat to yourself and walked away from that bench, from the love and man that you once adored. You should’ve realized a long time ago that tomorrow never came.

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broughtandborn · 10 months

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Vacation recap, feel free to skip

Andy and I spent seven nights at a Sandals resort in Curaçao and it was incredibly expensive and so, so great. 5 stars, would recommend.

The resort is the newest Sandals resort, and apparently their opening a few years ago was delayed and pretty rocky because of covid so early reviews were decidedly mixed. Everything seems to have been ironed out and from our perspective everything was super smooth.

We flew out from a big airport an hour away at 6 am so the trip started with dropping the kids off the night before and getting up at 2. We were at the resort in time for a late lunch and they had our stuff brought to our room and a cheese plate and wine and balloons and a card for our anniversary in the room when we got up there. The staff were incredibly attentive and they all seemed invested in keeping the guests happy. They all were cheerful and pleasant and went out of their way to make things as easy for us as possible.

Our room looked out over a gorgeous garden with a peek of the ocean beyond and a sort of lazy river pool below us, which was incredible. It felt secluded and the garden was always abuzz with tons of birds and butterflies. We spent a bunch of time in the mornings out on the balcony with coffee watching the hummingbirds and these big yellow butterflies that were the exact same color as some of the flowers, so it looked like the flowers would just pick up and flutter away.

The resort is pretty large so they have bicycle racks scattered around and you can just hop on a bike and leave it wherever you decide you're done with it. The main pool was lovely and they have entertainment going next to it all day. The "quiet" pool isn't actually far enough away from the entertainment to be quiet but there are other smaller pools scattered around that are very quiet. The beach is on a channel, protected by a dock, with tons of beach chairs and palapas. There's another area of beach to walk on that's too rocky and rough for swimming but it's very pretty to look out at -- pure turquoise water that drops of suddenly into dark blue.

The food and drink are all included and very good. There were a few perplexing things (a "charcuterie tray" that included one very thick slice of garlic bread and slices of salami wrapped around chutney to make little pouches???) but there's a solid variety and the service was usually very good, especially for the number of people they're feeding. They have three tiny restaurants in food trucks that are open most of the day and they were so good. Each restaurant has its own style (sushi, Italian, Greek, South American, etc.) and they do a great job with the menus. We were asked at every single meal about allergies or food issues and they took it very seriously. There is room to improve in their desserts but my standards there are very high. There are bars scattered all over and most of them have signature drinks that are delicious.

One of the days we were there we hired a guy through a local tour company to take us all over the island and it was amazing. We saw a million things we'd never have known to even look for and we snorkeled with sea turtles and got fresh coconuts and ate an amazing meal at a little hole in the wall kind of place. It was supposed to be eight hours but we were having a great time and he kept wanting to show us other stuff so we were out for ten full hours and were exhausted when we got back.

The trip home was annoying -- delays and multiple gate changes on both legs of the flight, so we got home at 3:30 a.m. instead of midnight, but it could have been a whole lot worse and we were already planning on the girls spending the extra night at my parents' so we were the only ones impacted by it. The girls had a great week with my folks and it seemed easier on them than we expected. We FaceTimed with them for a few minutes every day and that def helped.

The best price you'll ever get at a Sandals is if you book another trip while you're still there, so we did. You can book up to two years out and you can change your details for most of that time so we have almost two years to figure it all out, but this trip was so lovely that we both very much want to do it again. It's wildly impulsive of us to commit without blocking out budget and childcare and stuff ahead of time but this trip was so great that we were like "we'll figure it out, let's just do it."

Overall, it was an incredible week, and it was really great to have so much time with Andy to just hang out and have fun. I'm so glad we did it. The end.

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tsurugis · 2 years

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i had my surgery last thursday!

he went ahead with a plan of putting me under and marking and prepping everything to do the thyroidectomy and full bilateral neck dissection, but first taking out the biggest lymph node and sending it to pathology. while they were doing that he took my whole thyroid out and based on those results he would either leave the neck dissection or continue. of course it came back malignant so he took fuckin eeeeverything out haha

woke up puking all over myself and having violent tremors and vaguely remember hearing a nurse trying to convince the other people waking up in that room that i wasn't fucking dying jfhfjgj

apparently I've had the most severe magnesium deficiency my surgeon has seen in over 30 years of practice lmaoooo and I've had it for a long time so i gotta figure out what thats all about and see a gi for probable absorption problems

my husband!!! is the sweetest!! most caring!! fucker ever!!!!!! really truly i love him so much he has supported me through this and everything so much it blows my mind anyone could ever love and care for me like this. and he has done such a consistent job of showing it that i don't panic and worry about him wanting to leave me for all this cancer crap and for the fact that now i look like a fucking toad with its head cut off and stapled back on lmaoooo

was in the hospital for two nights three days and not getting home until about midnight cause my iv spot lost its shit at the last minute and decided enough magnesium in the drip there halfway through my last bag it hurt like a biiiitch so we had to start a new iv but ultrasound guided because they had been drawing blood to test magnesium every four fucki g hours for the 2 nights and three days like even all night lolll and i was running out of good veins

anyways. got my drains out on monday which. were stuck as hell and they were really long and finally my surgeon had to come back in where the nurses were like wheh its stucck he just grabbed and braced himself and just jerked them out violently no hesitation on both sides i am so goddamn traumatized lolllllll holy shit it gave hard rip the skin borrowing parasite horror creature out of your throat before in goes deep vibes fukccckckkckc

staples out on the 28th and everything looks good just. huge ugly stapled ear to collar bone to ear line and worst of all the lymphedema happening under the chin and jaw is so bad still and may take 3 to 6 months to go down or it could just get. worse actually and i will probably struggle with it forever

gotta take hormone replacement every morning for the rest of my life. gotta get bloodwork done frequently for the rest of my life to monitor magnesium, calcium and vitamin d and the thyroid hormone

but i am so insanely relieved i had an incredible experienced and passionate surgeon did an impressively beautiful job avoiding damaging any of the important nerves and parathyroid glands etc so no major complications or even really minor ones as far as nerve stuff goes i am so so grateful. that could have gone way different but he did an awesome job and i also trust he more likely got it all, because pathology came back monday and the fucking cancer was all over both sides of my thyroid and in at least ten lymph nodes all over !!

i literally kept saying i hate being right when i was waking up from surgery cause i really had like just a knowing and sensing that was the case, so i was very prepared, even from the "oh honey most of these are benign don't worry about cancer" stage pfffff

so i do gotta also take the radioactive iodine pill and go through that drama to make sure we got everything but otherwise i feel the worst is probably over

#personal crap

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shadesofrainbowsblog · 2 years

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Part 2

Unknown

I'm looking at him so is he, in this gloomy night his look is piercing into mine. Am I the only weirdo that finds drowsy eyes are beady? His eyes are so mysteriously mesmerizing. I don't know him, I don't remember knowing him however, this may become Déjà vu someday. His face says the opposite, he's filled with waves of sadness, it reflects on his face. I just feel he doesn't have the energy to hide it. He's broken and lost, he's all alone lonely, and quiet. At this point, I remembered a quote " Silence isn't empty, it's full of answers ". Doesn't his silence have answers too?

It's been long that we are staring at each other, and the situation is turning awkward. He's still staring cluelessly "why?" What is in his head? Girl you should stop being curious! I turned my gaze to another direction in spite me having goosebumps either from looking at him or from the chill wind.

This park is my favorite place to chill. You can look at people, study their facial reactions, inhale the fresh air, clear your mind, run, exercise, or even scream aloud to vent out. My eyes were scanning for uncle James I don't see him anywhere, he's an amazing artist. Love tagging his canvas board and his supplies with him all day. He sits on the left bench near the small lake and paints for hours. He's a loner gifted with golden hands.

Kids are only afraid of his grumpiness otherwise, he's a lovely Panda. It's been a long time since I have known Uncle James, he is like a father to me, a great mentor, and a teacher who has taught me how to draw and paint. He is the one who awakened many of my hidden talents and skills. Sometimes we talk for hours about books and even review them. My eyes kept searching for him but ended up with disappointment. Many complications going on and I need him at this moment for a hug which he would have welcomed me with open hands and lent an ear for me to grumble out. I really miss him now, wish he was here now.

My mind started wandering again, thinking about the stranger, his grief, and his attractive eyes. Immediately I began to sweat, I woke up from the bench and started walking home without turning back. I reached home within minutes while carrying him in my mind. Who is he? He's an unknown person to me who seemed to be a normal guy, He's in his average height around 5 ft 6, small build dusky skin beardy in his 30s maybe. I turned back to look, and saw him walking towards his house, Is he following me? Is he a threat? It doesn't feel so, I'm feeling a sense of calmness seeing him. I slammed the door and turned off the other lights and left one on. I'm in my "hygge" mode I continued reading, this time with full focus and energy, the story is picking up and I'm living into one of the characters who is experiencing alexithymia. My eyes became tired its almost midnight, it was time to fall in love with my bed. I walked to pull the curtains together and saw him at the window again! I immediately squat down to avoid him..what's this ??? Why is he always by the window? Is he waiting for someone, however, He's looking towards my window. I'm beginning to be nervous but fearless. Is he a stalker? Oh god, my mind is so messed up with this stranger. I crawled all the way to my bedroom and shut it. I made sure I've locked it and stood up shaking my head hard. I'm really exhausted to be thinking about only him and nothing else. Anyone could be questioning me why am I wasting time fussing about this stranger. To be honest I really don't know why I'm attracted and being curious about him. I felt the silence, the neighborhood, my lane, and my home are silent. My mind is complicated my heart is in search of something. I'm investing so much time and effort in impractical issues.

Got refreshed and I jumped on my bed, I realized the only valueless thing I did new today is thinking about the unknown which doesn't make sense at all yet my mind wonders over him urging me to know more about him ." yea " "yea " it can be dangerous, yet life is all about taking chances. I'm exhausted I tried to get some sleep as it's already late, although I'm not working tomorrow I need to wake up early to focus on my pending to-do. Pulled my blanket to my chest and closed my eyes. Warmth! Something that I've not felt in a long time, feels like ages, I'm not saying warmness received by the sun, it's something you get from "the one" comfortable soothing heat that you never wanna let go or have it gone. I remember this warmth, his hand in mine I hold it tight that I don't want to let go., his body odor is pleasant that I could identify him even in my half-sleep. Felt him beside me, I turned over to snuggle close to him, he nuzzled my forehead. "Why were you late B? It felt like forever", "ssshhhuuu...I'm here now never leaving you again. I'm going to protect you baby, I promise".He's hugging me tightly while caressing my hair. " I missed you so much baby" and kissed muah! muah! muah! on my temple, cheeks, and moving down to my neck. I felt his tears rolling, I turn to face him, wiping his tearful eyes, and uttered "I miss you too B' " I missed you lots" my lips pressed on his, smooching him. We broke that and hugged each other tightly. I don't want him to leave, never ever want him to leave again.

- Retrouvailles...Retrouvailles- the happiness of meeting again after a long time

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hauntingthechateau · 5 months

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Saturday November 18th

Cold and drizzling with a couple downpours, high of 10 low of 4

Got up at regular time and headed straight to the Chateau to grab an early breakfast. The last of the sunrise was coming down so despite the damp I sat outside and enjoyed the beautiful misty morning. Dusty came and sat with/on me for a while and gave me a brief fight when he decided my braid might be a cat toy. I did my journaling on my phone while I waited for our ride to Troyes.

A pleasant train in (about 50 minutes) and I read a book on it. Arrived and as I walked away from the train station I fell more and more in love with Troyes! It looked at first like a typical french town, but then the closer you got to the old centre, there were old half timber houses everywhere! I zoomed my way to see the three main churches first Église Sainte-Madeleine, Basilique Saint-Urbain and Cathédrale Saint-Pierre Saint-Paul. Sainte-Madeleine had a beautiful 16th century rood screen that was just magnificent! Sadly, even though all these churches were built in the 13th century, they don't really have any medieval art in them 😔 Saint-Pierre did have a room of relics and treasures, some medieval, but very few. I think for medieval sightseeing, Italy is still definitely the place to go.

Hit the Hôtel de Vauluisant before lunch (things close for lunch here), a small public history museum with some 16th century paintings, sculpture and stained glass, and then the second half of the museum dedicated for Troyes having been the Hosiery manufactory capital of France for a good while. Small museum, didn't take too long in it.

Headed to the Reulles des Chats next and AHHHHHH its all just cute I just want to live in this part of town and weave through all the adorable little alleyways and eat the wonderful food and AHHHHH I love it here! Met up with Genna for lunch and ran into Claudio who joined us. Chose a place in advanced knowing it has ample outdoor dining. Had a wonderful beef tartare provençal with goat cheese and herbs and a side of shoestring fries and a beer. Really perfect lunch, we parted ways and went off to do more of our own things.

Maison de l'Outil was up next for me, a large 1550s half timber residence and garden that has been turned into a museum of handtools! Really interesting concept for a museum and the displays were GORGEOUS, I only wish they were a little better labeled (although nothing was older than 1600, so whatever). Nothing was in English so I was using google lens to translate everything which drained my phone, so by the end of the museum I was just looking at things. Pretty to look at though and a nice building to boot!

Wandered around for a bit before heading to a bar to sit down, enjoy a beer and charge my phone before it was time to go back to the train. Eve joined me near the end and we headed back to the station together, where we ran into everyone else.

Train ride back was quiet and quick, made it back home to the Chateau around 6:30 where we loitered until dinnertime.

It was Missy's birthday today, so tonight we celebrate!!! For dinner lasagne, green salad, chickpea and avocado salad and cabbage, orange and hazlenut salad. I ate sooo much salad, but that lasagna is the real star, the bechamel sauce and the meat sauce don't fuck around and the pasta is thick and chewy and tastes fresh 🖤 For dessert of course we had cake!! Tonight a beautiful three chocolate mouse cake with a crispy wafer layer that was just FANTASTIC! Straight from the patisserie this one! I sat with Missy at dinner and talked and talked and talked well after dinner. Chef Lorine caught me mooning over the plate and sent me home with a couple slices for a midnight snack 😈

Walked home with my cake and had a good read before bed. 10/10 day. Face hurts from smiling.

#france #artists residency #chateau d'orquevaux

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greenbagjosh · 9 months

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Sunday 9 August 1998 - prebreakfast TV - ride to Forch - Röstipizza for lunch - ride down the roller slide and the funny elk-light fixtures - train ride home and a ham focaccia for supper

Sunday 9 August 1998

Hi everyone, Hope your week is going well. It is supposed to be cooled down by today. Twenty years ago today I did a quick country train and bus ride around Zürich, after a long day in Zürich itself. Eventually I went back home to München.

Overview

watching Ottifanten and an Otto Waalkes sketch comedy show on TV

shower and breakfast in hotel

check out, walk to Rümlang S Bahn station, lock clothes bag in locker

take S Bahn to Stadelhofen, then S-18 to Esslingen via Forch

take bus from Forch to Uster, and S-Bahn from Uster to Zürich HB

lunch at the Brasserie Johanniter

S-10 train to Üetliberg, walk up to see the Uto Kulm observation area

train to Zürich Selnau, walk back to HB

take train with Sommer Spezial ticket to München Hbf

head home with U-5, U-4 and bus 37 home

arrive home and no one complains (thankfully)

make it to work for the final week And that was the summary of what I did on Sunday, 9th August 1998.

That was some noisy night last night, I am lucky to be back in my comfortable room with no roommates to have to listen to (loud music, snoring and so on), and I have my own TV set.

Breakfast was served until 10 AM at the hotel, so I watched a little TV before going. Since I am still such a big fan of Otto Waalkes since July 1991, I watched an episode of Ottifanten, which are anthropomorphic elephants, the main character voiced by Otto Waalkes himself. Then there was the live action sketch comedy show, with his "English for runaways" inexact English-to-German translations, plus the Kakao sketch.

After seeing Otto on TV, I took a shower, then had breakfast. The breakfast was better than at the hostel, the items were more delicious and the bread rolls were fresh. Well worth the extra 10 CHF I paid. After that I checked out with my clothes bag, and I took my day bag with the remaining sodas for the swig bottle. It was a twenty minute walk to the Rümlang S-Bahn station. My ticket was still valid for Zürich and Rümlang until 12:30 PM but I wanted to out of that zone for the day. In that case, what is the appropriate ticket to buy for all zones of the Zürcher Verkehrsverbund (Zürich regional rail district)? More likely than not, it would be the 9 AM ticket available daily and for about 18 CHF for all zones, valid only up to the last train of the day, likely just after midnight.

From Rümlang, I took the S-Bahn via Glattbrugg and Oerlikon to Zürich HB, where for 6 CHF I could store the clothes bag away for the day until it would be time to take the train home. I had until 5:15 PM that day to explore the Zürich region. So I thought, why not take the S-18 all the way to Esslingen ZH? To do that, I had to take the S-Bahn from platforms 21 to 24 to Stadelhofen, and change to the S-18 at its own stop near the theater (which on 24 July was playing The Truman Show). In 1998 I did not know about the Tram museum at Burgwies, close to Balgrist, which would be open at 11 AM. That would have been interesting. I made it a point later to visit, and between September 2011 and December 2016 I have since visited twice. Going further, the S-18 ran on the same tracks as the tram line 15 up to Rehalp, and after that, it went on a surface route up to Zumikon-Waltikon and went underground for Zumikon and Maiacher, before coming out of tunnel for Forch. After Forch and up to Esslingen, the train route was mainly single tracked. The day was nice, mid 70s and had interesting scenery, not too hilly. At the end was Esslingen and I had to take a bus, line 842, through Mönchaltorf ZH to Uster. I had been to Uster on 4th of July 1997 but only by accident. That incident was due to the fact that I did not alight the S-Bahn train at Stettbach as I should have. But this time Uster seemed familiar and I knew where I needed to go and where to alight.

The S-Bahn from Uster to Zürich, goes northwest past the Greifensee.and Dübendorf, before it goes into tunnel at Stettbach and emerges at Stadelhofen. Then there is another tunnel section from there to Zürich HB which is platforms 21 to 24. I alighted at Zürich HB and it was time for lunch. I wanted to go back to my favorite restaurant at the time, the Brasserie Johanniter, on Niederdorferstrasse 70. They were not so full as the previous night and they offered me a table outside. I had a Hürlimann 1 Liter, and on the seasonal menu, they were serving Rösti as a pizza. I could order a "quattro stagione" (four seasons) pizza on a bed of the hashbrowns. It was actually quite delicious, too bad I did not take a photo of it. With a full liter of beer, you have to take at least an hour to enjoy it. I think it was about 2 PM that I paid the bill and left for Üetliberg.

In 1998, the SZU, Sihltal-Zürich-Üetlibergbahn used the same platforms as today, but instead of platforms 21 and 22, the platforms were called just 1 and 2 back then. I took the S-10 the entire distance to Üetliberg via Triemli. It was a four-zone journey and my 9 AM ticket covered it with no problem. When I arrived at Üetliberg terminus, I left the train, walked up the steep pedestrian trail to Uto Kulm, and for the first time I saw the most bizarre light fixtures around, namely the Bruno Weber Hirschlampen. These were four lights on the antlers of giant elk. Also there is some planetary display on the trail. The Uto Kulm resort hotel is at the top, and costs around 200 CHF per night, which I could not afford then. The observation platform and tower are still open to the public. From there you can see from north Zürich into the Albisgütli where there is the late summer Knabenschiessen event, and further along Lake Zürich towards Rapperswil SG and Pfäffikon SZ. I had to take about twenty minutes to get a good view of everything and appreciate the many years I had known Zürich (my first visit was 1976 when I was about four).

It was getting close to 4 PM and I had to go back to the rail station. I thought I would have some time to walk from Selnau to the station, it was not a long journey, and being Sunday, the traffic would be light. I arrived about 4:45 PM and searched for some place to buy Victorinox knives but I could only find cheap store-brand replicas. They would have to suffice. I managed to collect my clothes bag, get to the train to München Hbf and board the right train car, as stated on my Sommer-Spezial ticket. My seat was in an open area of the first class compartment and with a window all to myself. At 5.15 PM the train left Zürich HB, I left seeing the Zürich insurance billboard just outside the station, and away it went. I took a few photos here and there, particularly getting close to St. Gallen. There was a bistro wagon going through the cars, and I could not pass up the ham and cheese sandwich on a focaccia-shaped bread roll. The train reached Bregenz about 7:45 PM. That was the only time the border guards were on the train, and the rest of the way it was uneventful. I think I took a nap between Lindau and Buchloe. As you might expect, the electrification did not start until the train passed Geltendorf, which is kind of the imaginary border of Oberbayern and the Ostallgäu. The sky was getting darker and about 9:50 PM the train pulled into München Hbf. There was no point remaining in the station so I headed home, first on the U-5 to Lehel, and caught the U-4 to Arabellapark, then the bus 37 to my apartment in the Freischützstraße. I entered quietly and no one told me off about my alarm clock.

And the next morning? It would be the final week of my Werkstudenttätigkeit, so all loose ends had to be tightened up, and paperwork had to be filled out for end-of-project, and I had to also take care of my apartment rental and last three nights in Paris for Summer 1998 before flying home. And buying this and that. So the next story may not be until Wednesday the 15th August. The 18th August is the "grand finale" of this saga.

Hope you enjoyed so far, Gute Nacht and bonne nuit!

PS Desirée is afraid of the dark, especially when she's in a park… (that was one song I heard repeatedly in Summer 1998, she had "You gotta be" in 1994)

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tripwisatabromo-blog · 11 months

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Mount Bromo Tour from Singapore: A Complete Guide

Traveling to Indonesia from Singapore looking for a unique and amazing adventure then the right first choice is Mount Bromo Tour located in East Java, Indonesia. Mount Bromo is one of the most popular tourist destinations for foreign tourists from Asia, especially Singapore. A majestic volcano with easy access without requiring much climbing but the stunning views that will leave you in awe. Mount Bromo is a popular tourist destination located in East Java, Indonesia. Famous for its stunning sunrise views and Bromo Crater, making it a must-visit location for nature lovers and adventurers alike. Although Mount Bromo can be accessed from various locations from abroad, the most Singaporean tourists come to visit, moreover there is an international airport that is well connected and close to Mount Bromo. In addition, there are several tour packages from Singapore that make it easier for tourists to plan their trip to Mount Bromo.

Mount Bromo Tour from Singapore A Complete Guide

If you're traveling from Singapore, you're probably wondering how to get to Mount Bromo easiest and what to do once you get there. Here's a simple guide on how to plan a Mount Bromo tour from Singapore to make the most of your trip.

The Best Time to Visit Mount Bromo

Before planning your Mount Bromo tour, you need to know the best time to visit. The weather on Mount Bromo can be unpredictable, and the scenery varies depending on the season. Weather in Mount Bromo Mount Bromo has a tropical climate with an average temperature of 20–25 degrees Celsius. However, it can get quite chilly at night, especially during the dry season. The rainy season starts from November to March, while the dry season is from April to October. Peak Season in Mount Bromo The peak season in Mount Bromo is from June to August, as well as during the Christmas and New Year holidays. During this time, the weather is generally good and the scenery is stunning. However, it can be crowded, and prices can be higher than usual. Off-Peak Season in Mount Bromo If you want to avoid the crowds and save money, you can visit Mount Bromo during the off-peak season. The best time to visit is from January to March or September to October. During this time, the weather is still good, and you can enjoy the scenery without the crowds.

How to Get to Mount Bromo from Singapore

The most convenient way to reach Mount Bromo from Singapore is by taking a flight to Surabaya Juanda International Airport. From Surabaya, you can book a Bromo tour package or arrange your own trip by taking available public transportation to Mount Bromo. Flight to Surabaya There are several direct and transit flights from Singapore to Surabaya, and the flight duration is approximately 2 hours 30 minutes. Airlines that provide flight schedules to Surabaya include Air Asia, Batik Air, Singapore Airlines, Scoot, Jetstar, Garuda Indonesia, Malaysia Airlines. Private Tours If you prefer a hassle-free and comfortable trip, you can take a private tour service from Surabaya to Mount Bromo. The trip from Surabaya to Mount Bromo takes about 3 hours. There are 2 choices of private tour packages to Bromo Tang available with departures from Surabaya, namely the 2 day 1 night Bromo tour and the Bromo midnight tour. Mount Bromo Tour 2 days 1 night is a package that offers 1 night stay at a hotel near Bromo, while the Bromo Midnight Tour is a trip to Bromo with a midnight departure without the need to spend the night at the hotel because you can directly visit Bromo by jeep to see the sunrise. Public transportation / Private Car Rental Taking public transportation is the cheapest option to get to Mount Bromo. From Surabaya, you can go to the station or bus terminal in Surabaya with the aim of going to Probolinggo / Pasuruan, then transfer to a minivan to Mount Bromo. The journey can take up to 5-6 hours, but it's a great opportunity to experience local culture. It's different if you rent a car, it can shorten travel time, but it's a little difficult because you have to leave a guarantee with the car rental provider and also need a driver's license. The choice of renting a car to Bromo is rather difficult unless it includes a driver / guide.

Accommodation on Mount Bromo

There are several types of accommodation on Mount Bromo, ranging from budget hostels to luxury resorts. The most popular place to stay is at Cemoro Lawang Ngadisari Probolinggo which is located closest to the Mount Bromo area. Here there are several hotels that offer direct views of Mount Bromo. Accommodation Type Hostel: There are several cheap hostels in Bromo that offer basic facilities, such as shared dormitory rooms with outside/public bathrooms. Guesthouses: Guesthouses are the more comfortable option, with private rooms and en-suite bathrooms. They also offer additional services like breakfast.Villas: If you want to splurge, you can stay in a villa with a stunning view of Mount Bromo. Villas usually offer modern amenities. Hotels: There are many choices of hotels ranging from 1 star to 5 star luxury resorts. Adjust your budget to get the right hotel. Recommended Places to Stay Bromo Terrace Hotel: Luxury hotel with views of Mount Bromo. Offering comfortable rooms with modern facilities and a restaurant serving local and international cuisine. Lava View Lodge : is a hotel with the most strategic location in Cemoro Lawang. This hotel offers views and is the closest location to Mount Bromo while the standard facilities are like other hotel rooms around it even though the price rate is slightly higher. Jiwa Jawa Resort Bromo : is a beautiful resort with stunning views of the hills around Mount Bromo. The hotel offers comfortable rooms with modern facilities, a restaurant serving local and international cuisine and a spa. Plataran Hotel : is the most luxurious and most expensive hotel on Mount Bromo with super complete facilities. Situated in the highlands of Bromo, it offers views of the countryside of agricultural plantations nestled in the surrounding hills.

What to do in Mount Bromo

Mount Bromo offers some amazing attractions that you should not miss during your tour. Here are some places that must be visited on Mount Bromo: Sunrise Viewpoint One of the most popular activities on Mount Bromo is watching the sunrise. The best spot to watch the sunrise is at Mount Penanjakan which offers panoramic views of the entire Mount Bromo area. If the top of Mount Penanjakan is 1 walk too far from the jeep parking lot, then another alternative is to see the sunrise at Kingkong Hill, Bukit Cinta, Mentigen Hill and Eruni Point. Bromo Crater Bromo Crater is the main attraction in Mount Bromo. It is an active volcano with a crater emitting smoke and sulfurous gases. You can climb to the top of the crater and witness the stunning views of the surroundings. Savanna and Teletubbies Hill The Sabana and Teletubbies Hills are located near the Bromo Crater. Sabana is a vast meadow with stunning views of Mount Bromo, while Teletubbies Hill is a small hill with a unique shape that resembles the shape of a house in the Teletubbies children's film series. If you go to this place, choose during the rainy / flowering season (January - March) because the scenery is very beautiful, but if you come here in the dry season, you will only see a stretch of arid, dry and dusty land. Whispering Sand Whispering Sands is a unique desert-like area on Mount Bromo with stretches of fine sand that make sounds when the wind blows. This is a great place to walk around and feel the unique atmosphere.

Mount Bromo Tour Packages from Singapore

If you want a tour to Mount Bromo hassle-free of arranging accommodation and well-organized, you can choose a Bromo tour package that can be booked directly online from Singapore. Here are some of the most popular tour packages: Types of Tour Packages Private Tour: A private tour offers a personalized itinerary, complete facilies and with a private transport. It is the most expensive option, but it offers the most flexibility and comfort. Group Tour: A group tour is a more affordable option where you will join with other travelers. The itinerary is usually fixed and you must follow the schedule of the travel agentcy so that there are no additional costs., but it is a great opportunity to meet new people.

The Best Tour Operator to Mount Bromo

tripwisatabromo.com offers several tour packages to Mount Bromo, ranging from private tours to group tours. Here also offer additional services by request, such as add visit tourist sites around bromo, transport transfers to hotel or airport, train station and meals. Mount Bromo is a stunning natural wonder that should be on travel bucket list in East Java Indonesia. You're a nature lover, an adventure seeker, or a culture enthusiast, Mount Bromo offers something for everyone. From watching the sunrise at Mount Penanjakan to hiking to the top of the Bromo Crater, there are plenty of activities to do on Mount Bromo and with several tour packages available from Singapore. Also Read : - Mount Bromo Ijen Crater Tour 3 Days 2 Nights - Mount Bromo Sewu Waterfall Tour 3 Days 2 Nights - Mount Bromo Ijen Tumpak Sewu Tour 4 Days 3 Nights - Mount Bromo Semeru Trekking Tour 3 Days 2 Nights - Yogyakarta Bromo Ijen Tour 3 Days 2 Nights - Yogyakarta Bromo Ijen Bali Tour 5 Days 4 Nights What is the best time to visit Mount Bromo? The best time to visit Mount Bromo is during the dry season, from May to October, when the weather is clear and sunny. What should I wear during my tour to Mount Bromo? You should wear comfortable and warm clothes, as the temperature can drop significantly in the early morning. You should also wear sturdy shoes for hiking and bring a face mask to protect yourself from the dust and sulfuric gas emitted by the Bromo Crater. Is it safe to hike to the top of the Bromo Crater? Yes, it is safe to hike to the top of the Bromo Crater as long as you follow the guidelines provided by the local authorities and wear appropriate gear. Can I bring my drone to Mount Bromo? Drone flying is not allowed in the Mount Bromo area due to safety reasons and regulations. What is the best way to get to Mount Bromo from Singapore? The best way to get to Mount Bromo from Singapore is by taking a flight to Surabaya Juanda International Airport and then taking Mount Bromo tour package. Read the full article

#CompleteGuideSingaporetoBromo #GettingtoBromofromSingapore #HowtogoMountBromofromSingapore #MountBromoFromSingapore #MountBromoTourPackagefromSingapore

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ellevatoor · 11 months

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Who Saw That Coming? Definitely not me

On March 26, 2023, I took the Civil Service Exam at the Professional level. Today, we received the results, and I passed. To be honest, I didn't prioritize the exam much. I only took it because my parents wanted me to do something, perhaps as a way to redeem myself after transferring schools as a college student, which isn't seen in a positive light. I willingly obliged to keep the peace at home, as I knew they would keep asking until I did it. I applied for the exam in December 2022, and only my internet friends knew about it. I only studied for the exam on March 25, as I didn't really consider it something I wanted to do; it was solely for my parents. I studied until midnight and only had a few hours of sleep before the exam.

On the morning of the exam day, my mom accompanied me, and we argued on the way because we didn't know how to get to the testing site and how much the fare would be. The tricycle driver asked for 100 pesos, which I thought was overpriced considering it was morning and there was no traffic. But let's not dwell on that anymore; it's already done. Anyway, I arrived at the testing site on time, and we took the exam as scheduled. While I was taking the exam, I accidentally fell asleep for a minute or two, and the facilitator lightly tapped me to wake me up. I felt drowsy and was only halfway through the exam. I took several bathroom breaks to stretch and wake myself up, but it didn't help much. I only felt completely awake when the proctor announced that we only had 30 minutes left, and I still had some questions remaining in the English part and had just started with the Math section. I tried my best to finish everything, but I became a little desperate due to the time pressure, so I quickly answered some of the math problems without much thought. As soon as I left the testing site, I already accepted that I wouldn't pass the exam because of what had happened. I was so sure of it.

Fast forward to today, my mom woke me up at 6 in the morning to tell me that the results for the Civil Service Exam were out and that I should check them. Until 1 in the afternoon, she kept asking about it, but the website had a lot of traffic, and I truly believed that I hadn't passed the exam. However, by 1 PM, I also saw my name on the list of passers on another site. I didn't tell my mom because I wanted to confirm it on the main site to ensure its legitimacy. It's now 3 PM, and I still can't access the main site for the exam passers, but I think I have already accepted that I passed the exam. UPDATE: 3:47 PM - Confirmed now through the main website that I did really pass the exam!

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vausena · 1 year

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Thousands Feared Dead in Coordinated Nationwide Terrorist Attacks

[Federal Kingdom of Vau’sena, Kuwhara, Rangat- 26/27 March 2053 Midnight Issue

Annalies Willems, Cosonan News Network]

Today the nation held its breath as a string of devastating terrorist attacks were unleashed across Vau’sena this morning. As the smoke clears from a day of terror and anguish, it becomes hauntingly apparent that suffered the largest coordinated terrorist attack in history. All flights in Vau’senaan airspace were immedately grounded and the military and police deployed to airports, train stations, and public spaces as the government scrambled to construct a response.

Kingdom of Cosona (Coronaie au Cosona), Spencia, Tiffany At 10h50, the first and most devastating of today’s attacks was carried out as CosonAir Flight 43 en route from Cosona, Tiffany to Catican, Catican City was flown into its target at the headquarters of the Tsentri’enn’bank Vau’senaan (Central Bank of Vau’sena) shortly after takeoff with 193 on board, including 7 flight crew and the 5 hijackers reported in calls to emergency services. It is estimated that over one thousand of the bank’s 11,000 employees were killed as the building collapsed just 45 minutes later at 11:35. Tiffany’s hospital system has quickly become overwhelmed with thousands of injuries, making matters worse.

Union of Castaña (Unión de Castaña), Feliway, Feliway At 11h08, the second of today’s attacks was carried out prematurely on the runway of Castaña International Airport (AIC), killing 60 including 4 of the aircraft’s 5 flight crew along with 2 attackers and injuring 90 more. Orizonte Flight 230, scheduled en route from Castaña, Feliway to Katastrofia, Monikisca and running 30 minutes late, had been lined up and waiting for permission to begin the takeoff roll when AIC Tower received news of the attack in Tiffany and decided to order OZ-230 back to the gate along with all other departing aircraft.

In response from the announcement from the captain that the flight had been unexpectedly cancelled, the two hijackers in first class rushed the cockpit in attempt to continue their attack. The hijackers failed to wrestle control of the plane from the flight crew however, and one detonated the bomb strapped to his chest to avoid being captured. While the force of the explosion tore through the first 10 rows of the aircraft, it was not enough to kill the third hijacker in the back of the plane, who was immediately pinned down by the last surviving flight attendant and two passengers before he had a chance to kill himself. The surviving hijacker has been identified as Stuart MacPin, who proudly confessed the attacks to be organized by the Dhrallic Blackbird leader Zuriel Nash after hearing of the devastation of today’s other attacks.

State of Valtinn ( Stáite na Valtinn), Seilcheann, Bradàn At 11h15, CosonAir Flight 99 en route from Cosona, Sielva to Valtinn, Bradàn was flown into the Valtanach State Capitol building with 150 on board, including 6 flight crew and 5 attackers. The force of the explosion tore apart the Senate Chamber, which was in session at the time. Of the 46 Senators present at the time of the attack, only 9 are confirmed to have survived- 4 of which remain in ICU, and it is unknown whether they will pull through. The current death toll is confirmed to stand at over 200, with over a hundred people including Governor Simidh Mac a'Mhiadhaich still missing and nearly 900 additional injuries.

Kingdom of Cosona (Coronaie au Cosona), Asdas, Asdas At 11h41, Cholevaera Flight 860 en route from Volios, Nikaiens to Cosona, Asdas flew into the headquarters of the Royal Armed Forces of Vau’sena, also known as the Sexagon, with 98 on board, including 4 flight crew and 3 attackers. At least 120 servicepeople and 30 civilian contractors primarily concentrated in the Royal Army and Royal Air Force divisions of the building are confirmed to be dead, with over two dozen still missing. Current estimates place the number dead at just over 300, with almost 700 more additional injuries. High Commander Miyeke Aa’skant of the Royal Vau’senaan Army was confirmed dead this afternoon- the highest-ranked fatality of the Armed Forces.

In spite of the chaos unfolding just 2 kilometers away and a warning to evacuate given by city officials, the Stadta’asembli’enn Vau’senaan led by Cosonaan Representative Arcisio Batzi and Kuwharan Representative Manaaki Hohaia defiantly continued to discuss the proposed ban on political donations coming from the bloc of nations known as the “Allied Effective” led by Korlanic President Ikaroa Storinka. The resolution was voted upon at 13h20, passing with an overwhelming 96% of the vote. Of the 4% who did not vote for the bill, half of those were abstentions from the few senators who were either not present or evacuated the chamber.

Led Eteijer Sea At 12h26, Cholevaera Flight 1200 en route from Cosona, Asdas to Volios, Stavrokis went down in the Led Eteijer Sea with 169 people on board, including 6 flight crew and 4 attackers. Calls made to authorities from the aircraft using the on-board wifi indicated that the four attackers waited until the aircraft was far enough from shore that they believed military aircraft would be unable to respond in time. Because news of the previous attacks had made their way to the passengers over the internet however, they knew already that they would certainly die if they did not fight back against the attackers. A group of passengers wrestled down the two attackers who stayed in the main cabin and began trying to break down the door of the flight deck before the aircraft pitched down into a roll, losing radar contact seconds later. While the exact sequence of events is unclear, it is believed at this point that one of the hijackers in the flight deck activated their suicide vest in response to passengers entering the cockpit and grabbing the control stick. A fighter squadron sent from Volios to intercept the aircraft never saw it when they arrived CA-1200′s last reported location at 12h29, and search boats have been unsuccessful in recovering anything more than a few seat cushions.

In response to the attacks, Queen Lucerne I has been flown back in from her meeting with Ruling Figure and Guardian Riven of Rheasilvia in the Principality of Etola, Moreno, arriving in Tiffany late this evening. President Ataahua Parata was also flown into Tiffany from her native Kuwhara, Rangat after delivering a public speech in favor of Vau’senaan unity against the influence of Korlanic Ilfiatism, which was enthusiastically met by those in attendance. Queen Lucerne I and President Parata gave a short joint speech calling for unity and strength across the country before joining Governor Adelvin Spijkers of Cosona and Mayor Elise Senha of Tiffany in encouraging first responders and helping to distribute supplies and move rubble at the site of the Tsentri’enn’bank Vau’senaan. All other surviving governors and the Ponder Administrative Council also gave similar speeches of their own throughout the day, and Vice Governor Bhaltair Puidreach of Valtinn is expected to do the same at his midnight inauguration into the office of Governor.

The Royal Vau’senaan Armed Forces are expected to meet with Queen Lucerne I and President Parata tomorrow morning at an undisclosed location to discuss the official response to today’s attacks. Following the confession of Blackbird hijacker Stuart MacPin, all eyes are on the Blackbird’s leader Zuriel Nash, who has been one of the most wanted people in the Cosona for decades for her 2026 attack on then-President Samuel Titus of Cosona which left him permantly paralyzed.

The Vau’senaan resolve has been tested like never before. The nation cries not only for grief today, but for justice. The decisions made tomorrow will shape this country for decades to come.

#ulina #fiction #writing #gonna fuck up nash

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college-girl199328 · 1 year

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It took 36 hours, three airlines and one layover to bring Alaa Sakr and her family back home to Canada from their tropical vacation in Mexico.

Sakr had vacationed in Cancun, Mexico, with her husband, mother, and two-year-old daughter over the holidays. They were scheduled to fly back to Ontario with Flair Airlines to the Region of Waterloo International Airport on New Year’s Day.

Since their flight was scheduled to leave around noon, Sakr said they checked out of their hotel at 7:30 a.m. In the email obtained by CTV News Toronto, Flair told passengers the flight was cancelled due to aircraft damage at the airport beyond their control and that they rebooked passengers on the next available flight – a full two weeks later.

Sakr said she tried contacting a Flair agent online but didn’t get to talk to anyone about what she and her family had. Instead, Sakr was on other flights that could bring them back home that day as she and her husband needed to return to work.

Sakr said she found a flight back with Air Transat, scheduled to depart at 12:15 p.m. leaving from the same terminal they were stuck in.

Then she found another trip with Swoop Airlines to Toronto Pearson International Airport that would cost under $1,400 for all four of them, scheduled to leave at 11:14 a.m. – but from a different terminal.

As soon as they reached Swoop’s check-in desk, Sakr said they found out their flight had been rescheduled. Sakr said the flight was cancelled at 10 a.m., 11 minutes before they got their confirmation e-mail for the flight.

A spokesperson for Swoop confirmed to CTV News Toronto that the flight was cancelled at 10:19 a.m. on Jan. 1. Sakr said the next flight Swoop could book them on would take off the following week, and she was recommended to ask for a refund. Brunet said Swoop issued a full refund to Sakr and her family and "sincerely apologized" for the inconvenience.

At this point, Sakr says there were no more direct flights to either Toronto Pearson or Waterloo airports. But there was an indirect flight with Air Canada that would take them to Toronto through Montreal, with roughly a three-hour layover between trips.

Sakr said she paid Air Canada $850 per person for the one-way tickets. When they made it to the next terminal to check in for their flight, Sakr said she received an email informing her that her flight from Montreal to Toronto had been pushed back to 7 a.m. the following day.

The flight out of Cancun was also delayed by four hours, plus an additional hour of waiting on the tarmac. Sakr said they didn’t know about the hours-long delay, which they later learned was due to staffing shortages while on board the flight.

A spokesperson for Air Canada could not comment on Sakr’s specific case but said that the airline does meet its obligations under the Air Passenger Protection Regulations (APPR). Under APPR, airlines provide clear communication on delays or cancellations, damaged or lost luggage, and when a flight is delayed on the tarmac for more than three hours.

Thankfully, Sakr and her family had relatives to stay with when they landed in Montreal around midnight. Since they didn’t get to bed until around 1 a.m., they opted for an afternoon flight back to Toronto – which left on time.

But the arduous and long travel day didn’t end at Toronto Pearson airport. Since they parked their car at Waterloo airport, Sakr said they had to take an hour-long Uber ride to get there.

It was between 6 and 7 p.m. by the time they made it back to their Hamilton home. After a 36-hour travel day, Sakr said everyone felt "horrendous."

Rescheduled flights have set Sakr back $3,500, though she said Flair promised to refund her $1,000 for her cancelled flights. Still, Sakr said $2,500 would be out of pocket.

Arnot said the airline “strives” to fly its scheduled trips. Sakr said she had filed a complaint with each airline online.

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antifacountryfella · 2 years

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6/22

look I SWEAR im not usually a "vibes are off" kinda guy.... but the vibes are most certainly off.

My trip began several hours before I figured it would; ar like 3:00 my boss told me i could leave at shift change. fine by me- we were dead after all. Stop home to pack, then i head up top. get there at like eight?? it was like right before sunset.

of course, before I even left for work that morning I'd reached out to someone from.. my Past Life. Current life now, I guess. He was working till 10, which gave me plenty of time to Scheme Up Some MoneyTM Well shit, that didn't take too long. Once he was off work, he had a couple things to do; this def had me worried cuz he's kind of flake. mm, actually "flake" isn't the right word. He's a Bull Shit Artist, to be sure, but hes no flake. if he sets up a mission its one that is going to benefit him, which means he'll be there. what im tryin to say is that he isn\t dumb enough to be a flake, if that makes sense.

He actually picks me up in case I "get too cooked to drive." what a gentleman lol. we then drive up to the city. as we pass the Lesser City With Worse Drugs* I looked at the skyline and thought how weird it is that I live in the country now. I uh.. kinda don't like? At the very least, I miss cities. Hell, I even miss those not quite cities-not suburbia that crops up around cities.

This was the first time I was on the Block in literal years. Hasn't changed at all. Still horrifying. I'm still weirdly numb to it.

And the Product knocked me on my fucking ass. I got 6, but only did one while we were in the city.

Side tangent here. Look, obv buying drugs off the block sucks. It scary, especially after midnight. this night was "only" 12"30. not the latest ive been there but still enough to put you on edge a bit. but that feeling when you have what you came for, you've got it in your system, and then the driver starts up the car to leave. oh man. total relief. because now, every block we pass brings us closer to the highway and a bit farther from where the Shit Goes Down. Less than five minutes after the engine starts, and we're already in a part of the City where it wouldn't feel like suicide to get out and walk around. And then you hit the highway, no more watching for cops out looking to ruin a junkies night. Soon, not even a speed trap from City Cops because you aren't in the part of the highway that's in the city limits. It's immaculate.

I don't remember if I did more that nigh, but I do know I "slept" passed out in my jeans. I did another bag at some point. basically the whole day was a blur. At one point I nodded out for three hours. I know this because Someone Special texted me and I meant to respond and it took me 3.5 hours to complete that task.

Which reminds me, if I don't get this shit under control SOON I'm going to fuck this up before it really starts and I REALLY don't want that to happen. I like this girl, and she likes me too. I'm down bad for ol' girl.

which brings me back to the bad vibes. idk, with going back to crossing lines I'd sworn off, and our government stealing half their subject's right to abortion, the loss of miranda rights, hell- my roommate said he lit a candle today and it just burned black smoke. idk, its spooky is all....

*(also the city where drug dealers start going to bed at 9 o clock)

#journal #my journal

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scribblescrabbledepartment · 4 years

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why is it always like 11:30pm i get the urge to draw

#[warning i am just talking 2 myself in the tags so Beware]#i cant start now im trying to stop staying up past midnight #bc if i dont get out of bed by 8:30 at the latest i have a mental breakdown bc i wasted the entire day #straiht up i woke up at like quarter to 9 today & i almost cried #i usually wake up like half an hour before my alarm or whatever & just chill for a little bit #my alarm never wakes me #of course thats for work #normally im up around 6 for work #now that we're doing remote learning i can sleep later #but still i usually wake up around 8 & just chill for like 20 minutes #anyway #send ideas if u want i might do em tomorrow bc im still in a doodle mood #i aint had Fancy Art Energy lately #anyhow #i think my parents are planning on going to a protest #& i feel really uneasy about it #i was gonna go but a few friends were straight up begging me not to #& like nobodys making me feel pressured to go i just feel like i should go if my parents are going #the city its in i dont think itll be Bad bad but #ive already been donating but i made a few big donations tonight & i think im gonna use that as like #my make up for not going if i decide against it #like those donations are gonna do more than my singular presence #im just like #& ok my other thing is like. i am really not good at processing whats going on around me in busy environments #like even at work with the kids ill be staring right at a problem & not realize whats going on for like 10 seconds #im not a quick reactor #which i hate about myself but what are u gonna do #so i probably wont go but i feel bad about it yknow #ill keep donating

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soft4gguk · 3 years

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to build a home | chapter three

pairing: Jungkook x reader. ceo!jk + dilf!jk x nanny!oc

genre: strangers to lovers. angst. loads of plot. eventual smut

word count: 9.2k

warnings: angst. swearing. mentions of alcohol. mentions of abandonment. mentions of death.

author’s note: hi again <3 i am in love w this chapter. time is speeding along everyone – hearts are healing?? babies are growing?? and these two fools?? mutual pining mode on 🤧🤧🤧. i don’t want to give much away but oc and jk had my heart in a frenzy in this one!! i truly hope you enjoy, it’s been so rewarding to read your kind words and feedback so from the bottom of my heart thank u <3!

p.s. softly by Clairo. that's their song.

This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x

Texts in bold + italic resemble a recollection of past events.

Chapter Three

Blue-jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band…

You groan. A single eye, the one not smushed by your pillow, opens half-way. It’s 6:15 AM and Elton John’s soft vocals are waking you up to the dreamy beat of Tiny Dancer. Why would you want the dreadful tune of Marimba doing the job if you can have this?

“Five more minutes, Elton.”

Pretty eyes, pirate smile, you’ll marry a music man…

You smile, soothed by what feels like a lullaby. Your body relaxes against the mattress once again and your eyes close – you’re not asleep. Just easing into consciousness.

You drift.

Hold me closer tiny dancer, count the headlights on the highway…

Elton all but screams at you. Well, that has you jumping from the warmth of your bed.

6:18 – time to wake up. You’re not a morning person and neither are you a night owl but, a sudden burst of inspiration found you sat at your desk until way past midnight. By the time you went to bed it took you a good thirty more minutes to fall asleep. Constantly disrupted by the drunk party goers that were making their way back home from wherever the night had taken them. Youth and Tuesday nights, you remember those. You could’ve just closed the window but the chilly breeze coming from it felt like summer. You did it in the name of nostalgia.

So, it is due to your late night writing à la Bukowski that you find yourself running into every piece of furniture you stumble upon, eyes still half closed, incessantly rubbing at them to let them know it was time to adult. You try to wake your brain up, too, but all it does is demand coffee.

And coffee you shall get. The smell hits your nose before anything can hit your eyesight but already, you’re lazily smiling at a blurry vision of Lucy from behind the kitchen counter. Her computer is in front of her and her eyes never leave the screen even as she feels you come in.

“Jeon Jungkook.” She half sing-songs, half affirms.

Are you sleep walking?

“Huh?”

She clears her throat and starts reading, “This year’s most eye-grabbing addition to Forbes 30 Under 30 list belongs to twenty-eight-year-old Jeon Jungkook. The young entrepreneur is the heir of the luxury chain of hotels, The West End.” Now you’re awake. She continues, “The high-end resorts have an ever-growing list of locations taking up the most coveted, bustling destinations all around the globe. Jungkook inherited his family’s legacy at the young age of twenty-four and has often been praised by his sharpness and boldness when it comes to business. His first duty as CEO and Chair of The West End Collection proved him more than capable, as he went on to re-brand its various hotels, location by location. His diligence and cut-throat ideas earned The West End a spike in stocks of up to 200%-”

“You are,” you interrupt her, fingers pressing at your temples for emphasis, “the nosiest person. Ever.”

“Okay so he’s rich. And smart. And in Forbes. But when where you going to tell me he looked like this?” She spins the laptop around in her hold, shoving it in your direction for dramatic effect.

And there he is, in all of his glory. Black suit over a black dress shirt. His hair a bit more tamed than it usually is on his day to day.

“I did tell you!” You protest.

“No, you did not. You said he looked like an angel. This man is a God.” She scoffs.

“Is this for me?” You ask, pointing at the cup of iced coffee sitting pretty on the kitchen counter.

“Well, it’s not for me.” She remarks, eyes still glued to the screen as you take a sip. “I found the baby mama, too.” She blurts out so fast it takes you a second to register it.

“Lucy.”

“What? It wasn’t that hard! She’s a model or something, if we’re going by anything Vogue has to say.”

At this, you give into the snooping. Your eyes divert to the screen and surely there she is. She looks just like what you’d expect at hearing her name alone. Ira Sommersmith. She’s beautiful, and the word alone cuts it short. Long blonde hair, dazzling smile, eyes looking away from the camera in that lost gaze model way. You’d look like a fool if you even attempted it. And you know because you’ve tried.

“Look, here’s them together. At some rich people party. Why is everyone wearing white? That’s a recipe for disaster if I’ve ever seen one.” Lucy says before changing the tabs, a picture of the two of them on the screen.

They look happy. He’s smiling at the camera and she’s smiling at him. It’s dated from two years ago. What happened? You can’t help but wonder.

“Wait a minute. Soori looks nothing like her. I don’t think she’s the baby mama,” you say, imitating the tone of suspense Lucy takes on when in conspiracy theory mode.

“No, no. She might be all daddy but that’s her baby. I read an article about it. Apparently, Ira went all MIA on social media shortly after the baby’s birth. She also went on a modelling hiatus.”

Her words sink into you. You try really hard not to pry, you do. You contain it as much as you can. But your brain can’t stop running in circles, that avid writer’s imagination of yours doing you no favours to inflict any sort of self-control.

“I want to go on a hiatus, too.” Lucy says, earning a loud cackle from you. “Not you, though. Come on, can’t be late for hot, heir, angel God, daddy Jeon Jungkook. Emphasis on the daddy.”

“Lucy!”

You’re in the bus on your way to the Jeon abode. Every morning dulls into afternoon in somewhat an identical rhythm. You don’t mind, though. You’ve come to find it comforting.

The bus ride is relaxing – there are not many people heading to the residential part of town this early in the morning, allowing you the commodities of not one but two seats all to yourself. You read, write or listen to music. Out the window, you start to make out the proximity of your destination as the pretty houses start to breeze past your line of vision. Every time the bus halts at a stop you’re able to take them in, full detail. You wonder if you’ll ever make it big enough to live in this side of town, in a pretty house of your own.

Your mind starts to float into that cloud of pink you call daydream. You picture a family. Do you want a big one?You don’t know. Kids are expensive. But, then again, if you can afford a house with more than one bathroom you reckon you could afford a couple of kids.

You picture Soori. As a reference, you tell yourself. She’s a cute baby, why wouldn’t you want a cute baby like her?

“But I don’t want this exact house!” You tell Lucy. A sea of magazines spread out around the two of you.

You’re in your tiny living room, coffee table pushed to the side as you invade the floors with glossy paper cut outs. You’re in vision board making mode, and even though you haven’t quite grasped the idea, it’s a fun Friday night activity. Also, you’re wine-drunk. Cheap wine-drunk.

“It’s for reference, ___.” Lucy says, accentuating every consonant, “it doesn’t have to be exactly what you want, as long as it encompasses the same energy.”

“You’re doing that thing where you throw big words at me when I’m drunk.”

“You’ll be fine as long as you don’t do that thing where you nod and pretend you understood. This is important, okay? We’re manifesting.” She returns.

Manifesting is her new favourite word.

You grab a wrinkled picture of a very shirtless Brad Pitt. The whole look of the image feels vintage. You'd grabbed a bunch of old magazines from the library that were due to be thrown out for the longest time now.

“So I won’t get 2003 Brad Pitt but!,” you start, shoving the picture in her face, “I will get a sexy, toned, tall, tanned and successful man that can sport low rise jeans like this?”

“Exactly.”

“Let’s manifest, baby!”

Reference. It’s important.

Sometimes it worries you how when you think about your future you don’t hold an ounce of desperation regarding it. People talk about goals and dreams but they never do it with the softness something promising should hold. It’s always with edge. Fear, uncertainty.

But you think you can amount your bliss to your lack of knowing. Truth is, beyond writing, there’s nothing that passions you enough to pursue. And society has already installed the notion in you that writing careers are in extinction. You’re not above fears. You just mentioned one. You just don’t attach your future to them. You’ll never stop writing, though. That’s your one sure-thing.

Your future doesn’t have to be panned out for you. You can dream by reference.

You’ll never own a touch screen doorbell, though. That’s just presumptuous.

You press on the screen of said reference you are not taking after. It’s 7:15 sharp – you’re a legend for this one, considering how much time Lucy’s snooping took out of your morning routine.

Every morning Mrs. Chae opens the door for you and this one is no different. Her sweet smile matches her sweet voice. Overall, she’s a sweet lady and you can tell Jungkook has a soft spot for her. She’s the one getting the big smiles around here, not you. But let’s not rush into that just yet.

“Good morning, ___.” She greets you with a tender smile.

“Good morning, Mrs. Chae. How are you today?”

“Oh, just wonderful. Come in, come in. Have you eaten?” She always asks you this, even if your answer is always the same.

“Yes, Mrs. Chae. Thank you for asking, though.”

“Young people these days!” she begins, “you don’t give breakfast the importance it deserves. Mr. Jungkook only has that coffee of his. And half of it is ice.” She whispers the last bit, almost as if she was letting you in on a secret.

“I’m sure Mr. Jungkook compensates with lunch, though.” You tell her and she smiles, nodding at this. You both know Mr. Jungkook can eat.

By the time your brief, but almost always comical, morning chat with Mrs. Chae is over, Jungkook is usually making his way inside the kitchen. This morning is no different either.

“Good morning,” he says, a pyjama clad Soori resting at his hip, giraffe plushie in hand that she repetitively smacks into her father’s chest.

“Good morning, Mr. Jungkook.” Mrs. Chae says, placing a tray in the kitchen counter in front of him, a single glass of iced americano.

“Morning,” you say, making your way to him. “Morning, pretty girl.” This is directed at Soori, who jumps excitedly in Jungkook’s hold at your words. She lets out some sweet unintelligible baby babble, “I agree.” You tell her and she giggles, her pacifier falling from her little mouth.

“She had her bottle about two hours ago so she should be ready for breakfast any time now.” Jungkook informs you, passing her to you, hand coming to caress at her little head once she’s in your arms.

“Perfect.” You turn to her, “what’s for brekky today? What about oatmeal? No cinnamon this time, promise.” Jungkook smiles. But it’s not directed at you. It usually never is.

Now, let’s not put him in total bad lighting. He’s civil, polite even. But he never humours you. And you’re funny. I mean, yes. Your track record is babies and toddlers and an easy-hearted Lucy but come on.

Soori laughs though, and it’s all that matters.

He’s almost done with his coffee. That was way too fast. You wish you could tell him but then again you wouldn’t. You still can’t decipher what’s worst – the attitude he was giving you on the day of the interview or the indifference he gives you every day.

You don’t think he necessarily hates you. In fact, you don’t even think he dislikes you. You just think he’s not very happy with the world right now and it reflects on pretty much anything that hits his line of vision.

Everything except Soori, though. She gets all the big smiles and praises and cuddles. So many cuddles.

Jungkook goes to the office most days but there are days when he stays home. He’s usually locked inside his office, immersed in paper work. But he always makes sure he’s out just as Soori starts getting fussy with hunger.

He makes her a bottle and lays her down in a plush pillow that doesn’t quite match the décor of the sofa. But it’s the Soori pillow, so it stays. She drinks her bottle, eyes glued to his as he talks to her. Most of the times you can’t make out what he’s saying but one time you did hear him give her a run-down of a business call he’d just had, his voice never losing the softness he saves for her. His Soori voice.

Sometimes both their eyes begin to get heavy with sleep and he rests his head next to her tummy, nuzzling his nose into it until she giggles and jerks under him.

It’s cute. And it tugs at all of your heartstrings. So much so you have to fight with every pull to not walk in front of him and tell him, ‘Hey Jungkook! You’re such a good dad! You’re doing great. Don’t be sad. Ever again, please!’

But you remember where you stand with him: sole professionality. You keep telling yourself this is fine by you. You still get to play with his cute baby for a living so who’s the real winner here?

You walk with him all the way to the front door so Soori can spend as much time with him as possible. He never asked for this but you started doing it anyway and you know he appreciates it.

“Alright, baby. Be good, okay? I love you. So much. I’ll see you soon.” You know the words by memory now. He litters kisses all over her soft cheeks, tickling her until she hides in the crook of your neck. He pulls away.

“Say bye-bye!” you tell her. She makes grabby hands at him. Bye-bye is a dreaded set of words.

You see him try to fight it but he breaks, grabbing her and hugging her to his chest. More kisses, this time all over her face.

“Okay. Daddy has to go. I love you.” He says and hands her back to you.

Her little mouth forms the most endearing pout, chin wrinkling and you know she’s about to cry. But you’re faster – your baby voice in full mode when you say, “No cry, Soo. Daddy will be back soon.”

Jungkook has turned around by the time the words leave your lips so, naturally, you miss the way his eyebrows come up so high they nearly touch his hairline and his steps falter a bit at your words. At the word.

And so, with that, your work day begins. It’s easy and you’re lucky – you know you are. You spend time with Soori, who happens to be a great companion. She’s easy going and tooth-ache inducing as her big starry eyes, courtesy of her father, are glued to you throughout the day.

You play with her and read her books you bring from the library, she’s a good source of research when it comes to testing out book club options. You already tried sticking to her age range but figured she’s advanced. Well, maybe you’re biased but she does get through the baby books fast, promptly losing interest. So, you read her the big kid books and that’s when she stills – her full attention on you as you read to her, putting on a show as you dramatize every scene.

Nap time usually finds you a bit bummed out that you have to part ways with her as you exit her nursery, lit only by twinkling stars adorning her ceiling, imitating a starry night sky. It’s pretty cool, you sort of wish you had one, too. You wonder if she’ll ever grow out of it. You hope she doesn’t.

You tidy up, read and write during this time – it stretches as plenty and you keep yourself entertained enough until it’s time to do it all over again.

You’re lucky, you think, realizing just how much you look forward to doing it all over again.

Jungkook is fond of you. He comes up with this conclusion as he parks his car in his driveway, the ignition coming to a stop as he unbuckles his seatbelt.

Jungkook is fond of you and he knows you don’t know this. He also knows it’s completely his fault. Hell, he even doubts his own friends still know he’s fond of them, if he’s being honest.

The thing about pain is that it doesn’t put other people’s happiness on hold. It doesn’t magically put a halt to the collective joy of the world just so one person can experience it in peace. A very far-fetched concept of peace, anyways.

He’s in pain but the world around him is sort of hitting him with an abrupt, ‘and what about it?’

It’s been four weeks since Ira left and the world has stopped suffering with him. His friends have gone back to their normal lives, his family stopped asking questions and Mrs. Chae stopped walking on eggshells around him. Even Soori has resumed her normal scheduled programming. She sleeps through the night, eats like she never made Jungkook cry in the bathroom more times than he’s willing to admit, and keeps growing up. Doing new things, leaving him in awe as she wonders about the world, taking it in.

She’s a happy baby and he knows it’s because she has a happy you by her side. So, he lets her bask in your aura, mirror your essence and that is enough for him. That is all that truly matters to him – her happiness.

As for him, your aura inflicts more heartbreak than it does healing. He doesn’t resent you for it or anything but he doesn’t give you the opening to shine your light into him either. He doesn’t know if its guilt or suffering – maybe it’s both. All he knows is that there is something about you that makes him feel profoundly unprepared to start living again.

So that’s why he remains impassive as you hand Soori back to him, ruffling her silky hair before giving her a kiss that has her keening at your touch.

“Bye, Jungkook.” You tell him, a smile adorning your face as always. Soori’s hold on your finger pulls you into them.

You stumble forwards and he takes a step backwards.

“Goodbye, ___.”

If it weren’t for his friends, Jungkook’s weekends would be spent stuck at home, sulking in between trying to keep Soori entertained with screen time she should not be consuming and his lame train of thought he sometimes shares with her. He runs her through his list of chores, movies he wants to watch, endless options of what they could have for lunch. You name it, she listens.

And that was all good at first – his friends had given him the space to mourn his loss, cry his tears and settle into his new dynamic as a family of two. But they wouldn’t be any good of friends if they’d let it drag on the moment they found him getting a little too comfortable with said sulking.

So now Jungkook tags along family outings that require him and Soori leave the house and put on outfits that are more weekend-casual, as opposed to the suits and pyjamas they sport throughout the week.

It’s easy to dress himself but Soori, on the other hand, is a feat that challenges his three-coloured-palette fashion senses. Her wardrobe is so colourful, filled with pastels and different prints. It suits her, it does. But Jungkook has no idea how to make all her clothes harmonize into one simple outfit. It used to be Ira’s job – one of the few ones she actually enjoyed.

He takes one last look at her before he unbuckles her seat belt, picking her up from her car seat before they start walking towards Mai and Taehyung. The streets are busy today – a sunny Saturday that has the city full of people, restaurant tables officially propped outside to welcome in the warmer weather.

Today’s attempt at matching has Mai throwing her head back in laughter as she takes in a very happy and oblivious Soori in. A pair of baby pink denim pants, green Kermit the Frog shirt Jungkook had gotten for her during a trip to New York and a yellow sweater. But the cherry on top of the cake was the shrunk down version of Jungkook’s favorite Balenciaga sneakers adorning her tiny feet.

“What?” Jungkook says, even though he knows exactly why she’s laughing.

Mai takes Soori from him, smacking her lips into her cheek in a loud kiss. “You’re lucky you’re so cute, Soori girl.” She beams at Mai’s affection, “is daddy on a steady road down colour blindness?” She still has her baby voice on. Soori laughs, a full pair of bottom teeth in full display.

Jungkook giggles at the sight but Mai doesn’t let him have it.

“Kermit the Frog? Really?” She says, voice lowering at him.

“She can rock it.”

“I agree,” Taehyung steps in, taking Soori from Mai’s arms. He throws her in the air, hands catching her swiftly at her descend. Loud baby giggles fall past her lips.

“That’s because you are actually colour blind.” Mai says.

“Baby, I’m not? I literally dress better than you.” He retorts, words not matching his sweet tone as his lips form a signature pout.

Before Mai can protest Jungkook steps in, “that’s enough, children. Let’s go get Dae, I’m starving.”

“Library’s around the corner, but it’s still five minutes ‘til pick up. He doesn’t like it when I’m early,” Mai returns.

“Yeah, because it’s not his super cool uncle picking him up.”

“Good point.” She gives in – it’s good to hear his witty remarks again, even if they run scarce.

As they turn the corner the library comes into view. They step inside and a peaceful silence fills the air. Jungkook finds it comforting. He thinks about how he hasn’t stepped foot inside a library since his college years. That can’t be good. Soori has been extra keen during bed time stories. She’d usually fidget a lot in his grasp as he swayed her back and forth in her rocking chair – it almost felt like a bonding moment he had to force into her. But lately she just lays back in his chest and listens to his voice as he narrates the stories. He’s also aware this is because of you.

He’d expected to see you but it still takes him by surprise. Maybe it’s the change in setting. This is the first time he’s seeing you outside his home. How you manage to grasp the attention of six children at the same time is beyond him, but there you are, reciting a story about crayons going on a strike. He spots Dae, mouth agape in awe as he listens to you attentively.

Mai walks forwards, hiding behind a book shelf and observing the sweet scene that unfolds as the kids discuss the story.

“That’s your nanny?” Taehyung says, voice a whisper.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, your life has always somewhat resembled a movie but this is beyond.” He laughs, a little too loudly, earning himself a scowling from Mai as she looks back at them.

Jungkook frowns. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Your nanny’s hot.” He tells his friend, unabashedly, “you are allowed to acknowledge objective attractiveness, you know?”

But before he can answer you’re wrapping up today’s session, turning to the kids and asking them if they enjoyed it. The loud cheers startle him a bit – he turns his head around as if making sure he was still in a library. The commotion is followed by a chorus of, ‘Yes, Miss ___.’

“Miss ___...” Taehyung sing-songs in a mock sultry voice, waggling his eyebrows at Jungkook.

“Shut up,” is all he says.

The kids get up, beginning to disperse, some coming to you for hugs or to sit at your lap to tell you things Jungkook can’t quite make up from a distance. They hand you books, offering their suggestions for next week’s book club and you accept them with a smile. You seem genuinely happy and excited – he finds it refreshing for some reason he can’t pin-point. Your nails are painted all a different colour, Jungkook notes. Toned down shades of yellow, green, blue, orange and pink. Maybe his colourful choice of an outfit for Soori wasn’t that far off. It looks good on you.

“Uncle Jungoo!” Dae’s voice breaks him from his trance and he comes to his knees, arms wide open as the little boy runs towards him. He picks him up in a hug once he crashes into his chest.

“Hi, buddy. Missed you.”

“Missed you, too.” His voice is sweet and Jungkook feels recharged already, his mood lifting. “Hi Soori Blue,” he says, turning to Soori.

“Soori Blue?” You ask, coming to stand in front of them.

“Hey, hey-” Taehyung is startled as Soori throws her entire body weight towards you, free-falling. Your reflexes don’t fail you and, thankfully, you catch her quickly. “Phew. You should be a baseball player.”

Jungkook is relieved to see her in your arms. For various reasons.

“She’s getting too fearless.” You say, shifting her around until she rests at the crook of your waist.

“I’m Taehyung, nice to meet you.” He extends his hand and you shake it.

“Nice to meet you, too. Dae has told me a lot about you.”

“Oh, likewise.”

“Hey,” Jungkook says, putting Dae on the floor.

“Uncle Jungoo, you know Miss ___?” The little boy asks, looking from you to Jungkook and back.

“Yes, buddy. She takes care of Soori when I’m away at work.”

“Wow, how cool!” He says and you smile at him.

“Come on, let’s get your backpack so we can go have pizza!” Taehyung says and that’s all it takes for Dae to run off excitedly.

“Kermit the Frog?” You ask, pulling down at Soori’s shirt to get a better look.

“Everybody keeps saying that.” He says, slightly irritated.

“I think it’s cool. But that’s because you’re the coolest. Aren’t you, Soo?” You coo at her.

“It’s her middle name,” he says, answering your previous question.

“Blue,” you state, looking at Soori. It fits her. “Cute.”

He simply nods.

Mai comes to you, warm smile adorning her face, “look who found you!” she tickles Soori’s tummy.

“A more than pleasant surprise,” you flush her plump cheek to yours.

“Hey, I love your dress.” Mai says. You look down at what you’re wearing. It’s a plain lilac dress. You thank her anyways. “Maybe you can give Ggukie some pointers.”

Dae calls for her and she excuses herself, leaving you and Jungkook alone once again. He’s a sight to behold today, that’s for sure. Out of his usual dark suits and dress shirts he looks even more youthful. A plain white shirt, somewhat oversized, resting a bit low over his collar bones. You have to mentally scold yourself for staring at his neck for that long. Light wash blue jeans with cuts at the thighs – Jeon Jungkook can dress his age.

Your next remark is inevitable.

“Ggukie, huh?” On a common day you wouldn’t dare joke around with him, let alone in such a condescending manner. But today you can’t help yourself.

“Miss ___, huh?” He jokes back. It leaves his mouth before he can process it and he regrets it immediately. What if you think it’s inappropriate?

But you laugh, chest fluttering a little at the fact he bit back. You give into the joke fully and say, “now who’s in charge?”

Jungkook hates how your words make his brain short circuit for a second too long. But he can’t help himself when his gaze meets yours and he gives you a smile. A big, genuine smile. Bunny teeth and everything. What a day.

He stares at you, taking you in. Taehyung’s words echo in the back of his head. He observes you with that objectivity he was talking about before. He sees it. It’s in your smile, he thinks. You smile with your whole face – it starts at your eyes, opening wide before they close in crescents, making the sides crinkle a bit. Your whole expression softens before it finally falls on your lips. Your lips which, objectively speaking, are full and cherry red. A natural pout to you that throws endearment into your every expression. You never fully look annoyed, he realizes. And it’s because of that pout.

But he knows there’s more besides objectivity when it comes to you. And before he allows his eyes to linger down your face to your body, he stops himself.

He cuts your moment short and gets back to business.

“I wanted to ask you if you’d be able to work this weekend?” He says, face back to his normal nonchalant expression it takes on around you. You pretend to ignore the way your heart sinks a little.

“Uh, sure. My friend Lucy can cover for me here at the library – the kids love her.”

“Great. It’s a short trip from Friday to Sunday. I have to attend the inauguration of my new resort. It’s only two hours away by plane.”

You don’t even have time to control the way your mouth drops, staring at him in utter confusion.

He remains unfazed.

“Jeon Jungkook is taking you on vacation?” Lucy asks, mouth parted in surprise.

“Lucy, no-” you start, but it’s to no avail.

“To the beach?!”

You haven’t even made it past the living room yet. Bag still over your shoulder, keys in hand. Lucy is buzzed for the early stages of a Saturday afternoon. She’d been perfecting her French baguette recipe and she simply could not not pair her success with an experience. So, she made a charcuterie board out of it. Red wine and everything – your glass had been placed in your hand the moment she opened the door.

“It is not a vacation. It is the inauguration of his new hotel. He wants Soori there so that throws me into the equation. By default.” You explain.

“Uh… it’s not even 1 pm, stop throwing his sexiness in my face by reminding me he owns hotels!” She huffs, pointing her index finger at you in a scolding manner.

“So, being drunk by noon is acceptable but don’t we dare throw sex in there?”

“Who said anything about sex?” her grin is wicked, to say the least.

“Lucy.”

“Hey, I am not to blame for the places your mind goes! But I’m also not one to blame you. I wouldn’t be any better at the prospect of seeing Jeon Jungkook in swim shorts.” You roll your eyes at this.

“I hate flying.”

“You’ve flown twice.”

“And I hated it.”

“You’re probably going to fly first class, courtesy of Mr. Jeon.”

“No,” you say, mind still fixated on your fear of heights, “we’re taking his plane.”

“What the fuck, ___?!”

Jungkook doesn’t think he’s ever seen you so quiet. And it’s not only the way you’re not trying to make small talk every chance you get the way you usually do. You’re eerily still, which is even more abnormal.

You’re both standing at the gates of the private airport, waiting for the SUV that will take you to his plane. Soori’s in his arms but she keeps trying to get your attention, offering you her plushie. When that doesn’t work, she attempts to hand you her pacifier – that doesn’t work either.

All through the short car ride you only get more nervous, leg bouncing in place as you stare out the window. A plane takes off in the distance and your eyes widen. You’re way too close. What if it just… fell down? You frown at your morbid thought.

As you step outside the SUV, you’re met directly with your means of transportation for the day. It’s a decent sized plane, creamy white with dark blue stripes grazing the middle. There’s a blue mat by the stairs that lead you to the entrance of the plane – the words The West End Collection written in white cursive letters. If your mind wasn’t too preoccupied with thoughts of how you feel like your life is nearing its end, you’d be able to form a witty remark on how presumptuous that is. But instead, you’re thinking about sending your mom a dramatic goodbye text. You know, just in case.

You hold tight onto the railing as you climb up the stairs, a bubbly air-hostess greeting the three of you as you step foot on the plane. The furniture in here looks more expensive than all of your belongings. Witty until the very end, you’ll claim that one.

“Welcome. Good morning, Mr. Jungkook. Miss Soori, long-time no see,” the air hostess coos at her. If Soori can do this, then you can, too. Right?

“Morning, Lydia. How’s the forecast looking today?” Jungkook asks, sitting Soori down in one of the cushiony seats.

“Blue skies ahead, Mr. Jungkook. A bit of wind up north will probably have us experiencing some turbulence through the second half of the trip, but it shouldn’t be too bad.”

You gulp. It’s loud enough to have them turning their heads, puzzled expressions searching for yours. You avoid their gazes.

Lydia senses your discomfort, though, and she walks over to you, motioning to one of the seats for you to sit down. You smile at her, unable to form many words. “Is there anything I can get you,” she asks.

“Huh?” You look up at her, eyes still a bit lost.

“Two iced americanos, please, Lydia.” Jungkook’s voice brings you back.

“Coming right up,” she says before turning around, making her way to the small kitchenette at the front of the plane.

Jungkook thinks about heading towards the back seats, his favourite single-sofa waiting for him. But he can clearly see the uneasiness you’re in and so he takes Soori in his arms, plopping them both in the seat in front of you.

“You okay,” he asks, looking for your gaze that seems to be fixed on nowhere in particular.

“I hate flying,” the words come out of you at speed lighting. “Well, I hate heights, more so.”

“Ahh,” but before Jungkook can find the words to calm down your nerves you hit him with a set of loaded ones.

“I also read somewhere that private flights amount to more deadly crashes than commercial ones do. Small planes are, statistically, more dangerous. As opposed to the big planes that are even safer than cars. Did you know that?” You’re word vomiting, something you do out of nervousness after your brain can’t tolerate stage one of fright: speechlessness.

Jungkook raises one brow at you, a small smile tugging at his lips and then he chuckles. Out of all your attempts at humouring him, this is what gets to him? He must be a sadist, you conclude.

“If Google says so…,” he says, a playful ring to his voice.

“It was a very reliable source.”

“They’re right.”

“What?” your voice shakes, you were hoping him and his big brain would refute your theory.

“Statistically, I mean. They are right. A lot of the crashes are due to poor servicing, though. We service our planes monthly, and always right before flying. So, unless the odds are not in your favour today, we should make it there in one piece.”

“The odds are never in my favour.” This has him full on laughing now and you have to admit the sound eases your nerves a little.

“Here, can you hold her for a minute?” You nod, reaching for Soori who falls into your arms effortlessly. You watch him head to the front of the plane.

You bounce her in your lap. She’s calm and unbothered and it eases you a little – your shoulders relaxing, releasing tension you didn’t even know you were holding.

Jungkook comes back after a bit – two iced coffees in his hands. He hands you one before he settles back on his seat. You thank him and he hums in return, letting his body melt into the cushions. His elbow rests on the armrest next to him, fingers coming to his lips as he observes you. You take a sip of your coffee and wince at the taste. He laughs.

“What is this?!”

“Iced americano,” he responds, feigning innocence, but the smile on his face gives him away.

“It is not.” You retaliate.

“Fine. Iced americano, pump of scotch.” His nonchalance astounds you.

“Jungkook! I’m- Soori-,”

“Relax, I’ve got her. No fun coffee for me. Plus, it’s not enough to have you seeing stars. Just enough to take the edge off.”

“This is not very appropriate work hours behaviour.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Now, you try. You try really hard to not fall into the cliché that is Jeon Jungkook. You try really hard to not take his words as anything other than what they are. In retrospect, he’s never even given you enough rope for you to second guess his actions. But seeing him in less impersonal contexts like this one, or the library last week, is playing dangerous games with the left side of your brain. You know, your rationality.

Being out-of-office suits him. His whole demeanour slows down, becomes a bit more mellow. He’s easier, to put it bluntly. He wears baggy, comfy clothes. His hair looks ruffly and you notice how soft his features look when he’s well rested. His duality is, pardon your French, mind-fucking. And so as much as you try, you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t admit Jeon Jungkook has officially crossed the line of ‘yes, he’s attractive but also your boss’ to ‘yes, he’s your boss but he also sends a whole troop of butterflies straight to your tummy every time he throws that slow blink, tendered smile at you.’ And it might be the scotch but you’d also be lying to yourself if you didn’t acknowledge that you, in all of your cliché-loving glory, are in trouble.

He looks to the side, eyes falling to the window next to you. He reaches for it, bringing the panel down.

“Out of sight, out of mind,” he says, settling back into his seat, legs spreading as he makes himself comfortable.

So much trouble.

Jungkook’s less than conventional recipe to cure fear of flying seems to have worked for you. By the time the plane had taken off you were a bit more relaxed and, needless to say, hazy minded. It was quite amusing to see you fall into the effects of a little bit of hard liquor in the early stages of the morning.

Soori had fallen asleep soon after, the white noise coming from the plane’s engine getting to her. She now rested peacefully in a travel bassinet in the seat next to him.

The lights in the cabin grew dim and the both of you went into airplane mode. Headphones in, falling into a comfortable silence. Jungkook can’t quite remember when was the last time he’d fallen into comfortable silence with someone. And by someone he means an adult. He found himself enjoying it in a way that eased him. Jungkook has never experienced fear of flying – or heights. But he supposed the nervous edge you’d carried could pretty much resemble the one that had settled upon him the moment Ira left. That fear that convinces you that the end will see you crumbling – crashing. The type of fear that has the odds against you. So, when you fell back into that tranquillity that characterizes you, he felt himself relaxing, too. It wasn’t conscious but he welcomed it. He was tired of fighting so as to keep his pain comfortable.

He fidgets in his seat, eyes closed as he tries to fall asleep, but his attempts are failing. He’s not necessarily tense so he should be drifting – the white noise usually gets to him, too. Maybe he’s not comfortable enough, or warm enough. Or maybe his mind can’t stop thinking about the last thing he witnessed before closing his eyes. Your weight had shifted to the closed window of the plane, a dark brown leather journal propped on your knee, pen gliding against the ivory pages as you wrote away. You hadn’t paused once and he couldn’t help wonder what had your thoughts running at such a rapid pace. Plane crash statistics, probably.

His inability to fall asleep has him feeling restless so he finally gives in, opening his eyes. You’ve remained in the exact position they’d last left you in. He stares, taking advantage of how hyper-focused you seem to be. Your hold on the notebook is delicate and he notices how well-lived it looks. The soft leather has wrinkled at the corners and you’ve inked a couple of phrases he can’t quite make up into the fabric. He notices a little star in blue ink, slightly lopsided. Before he can stop himself, his lips form a smile. It lingers, softening his expression.

You feel it. His eyes on you. Your eyes leave the page, gaze shifting up, though he can’t tell your eyes are on him. You feel nervous at first but his smile pushes that feeling aside. It’s contagious so you mimic it, enjoying the built-up fuzzy feeling at the pit of your stomach. You’re not sure it’s inhabited by sole butterflies anymore. Something else makes way inside of you, a feeling which you keep unnamed in hopes you can tame it by doing so.

He breaks himself out of his trance, looking up. His eyes meet yours and his smile falters a bit. Yours doesn’t, though. It doesn’t lose its warmth, its welcoming nature. So, he lets his lips move to the beat of your actions once again.

You break the little eternity your exchange held, hand resuming your stream of consciousness. He lets himself watch you for a couple more seconds – lets himself indulge in your light, the same light he’d been avoiding.

His eyes flutter a couple of times before sleep settles upon him.

You’re the last thing he sees before he fully drifts.

You wouldn’t say you’re seasoned when it comes to hotels stays. Let alone five-star ones. The last time you stayed in one you and Lucy feared for your health to such extent you ended up showering with flip flops on.

The West End is nothing like anything you’ve experienced. Not only is it top-notch luxury and comfort from as early as stepping into the lobby but, you also get to experience your first taste of said luxury with the benefits rooming with the owner brings you. Not to mention the fact that the hotel doesn’t technically open its doors until inauguration tomorrow night – leaving you, Jungkook and Soori with an entire hotel to yourselves with the exception of the staff, of course. Staff who also happen to be at your service twenty-four-hours a day. Their words, not yours.

Well, there is another exception. It comes in a pair of five-inch heels and hair so sleeked back it’s giving you a headache.

“Mr. Jungkook,” her voice is the definition of cool, calm and collected. All of her, really.

“Kaya, nice to see you,” he retorts. You don’t miss the way he takes a less formal tone with her.

“Likewise,” she looks at Soori, who’s head is resting in her father’s shoulder. “Hi, sweetheart. Did the plane ride get you sleepy?” her voice softens but not enough to lose its sharpness. Soori gives her a loopy smile.

“Kaya, this is ___.” Jungkook turns to you and you proceed to shake her hand.

She smiles, nothing but politely. “Ah, yes. We’ve talked on the phone. It’s nice to finally meet you.” For some reason, said phone conversation had you picturing her as a stern lady well into her forties. A brown suit, short hair. Kaya can’t be any older than Jungkook and her black suit looks designer. She’s beautiful, too. In that femme fatale way.

“You too,” at this, she gives you another tight-lipped smile.

Jungkook starts walking absentmindedly, eyes scanning the lobby. He seems pleased. He turns to Kaya as he says, “so, give me the run down, Kay.”

Kay?

“We’re meeting with the event organizer in twenty to run through some last-minute details for the reception. After that, you have an appointment of the outmost importance with none other than rest and relaxation,” he shoots her a smile – a dazzling, boyish smile. She nods and continues, “your friends are arriving at nine tomorrow, the plane’s already on its way back to the city to pick them up. Brunch at ten, don’t be late. Your parents will be here at 1 pm, sharp. Lunch will be served at 1:15. Your father wanted a seaside view so you’ll be eating by the cabanas.” He rolls his eyes at this, “you know I don’t fight the man. Anyways, we’ll give them an official tour of the premises at 3. Reception begins at 6, we’ll cut the ribbon at 6:15, dinner at 7 and then the beach party. The plane will be ready for you on Sunday so just let me know when they can expect you and I’ll pass the message along.” She finishes, letting out a breath as to finalize her previous statement.

“You’re a Rockstar,” is all he says before you make your way to the elevator.

A Rockstar?

The elevator ride is quiet. Kaya types away on her phone at superhuman speed. Jungkook stands in the middle of the two of you, eyes penetrating the doors. Even Soori is quiet – falling in and out of sleep in her father’s arms.

The corridors are wide and long and it’s quite a walk to get to the room. Kaya stands in front of the double doors and taps the room key into the card reader. The doors come open and to say you’re impressed is an understatement.

The room is not quite a room. The first thing you see is the ocean. The balcony seems to be never ending, illuminating the space, and you’re so high up it feels like you’re at sea level. There’s a full kitchen to the side, marble island and everything, and a dining table that gives way to the living room. The finish of the room is in that impeccably clean and modern aesthetic you’ve grown used to since working for Jungkook.

“The West Wing,” Kaya states, pride lacing her voice. “Master bedroom is that way, Soori’s nursery is right next to it and opposite that we have the guest bedroom. Where you’ll be sleeping, ___.” She says the latter with an edge to her voice you don’t miss.

“Perfect. Thank you, Kaya. I’ll see you downstairs in ten?”

“You got it, Mr. Jungkook.” That’s the last thing she says before she turns around, heels clinking on the marble floors, pony tail swaying side to sides as she makes her grand exit.

Jungkook walks over to the balcony, sliding the doors open. The warm, salty breeze fills the space. It’s so nice it takes you a moment to register where exactly life has landed you today.

“Why does everyone call you Mr. Jungkook,” you ask, startling him a little as you come to stand next to him. The vastness of the ocean stands before you. It’s breath-taking.

“Mr. Jeon is my dad,” you nod at this, “plus, he’s still the tycoon around here.”

“All of this is yours, huh?”

He clicks his tongue, a pensative look to his face. “Ours, I like to believe.” He says, looking at Soori who’s just began to fully wake up. You smile at his words. “Hey, the meeting shouldn’t take long. Why don’t you two get changed and meet me by the beach? This one won’t sleep through the night if she naps again.”

“You got it, Mr. Jungkook,” you say, taking Soori from him. He shakes his head at you but you don’t miss the light chuckle that escapes his lips.

“It is an honour to be at your service again, Mr. Jungkook.” Mr. Ilsung bows repeatedly, smiling with pride as Jungkook taste tests the finger food set to be served at tomorrow’s reception.

“I think the honour’s all mine, Chef. This is- mmm,” He stuffs another canapé into his mouth.

Mr. Ilsung beams at the sight.

Growing up, Jungkook found himself spending more time in hotel rooms and lobbies than he did in his actual home. It was his father’s tactic to have him grow passionate about the business. It didn’t quite work back then. Instead, it would result in Jungkook sneaking out of his father’s sight, giving way to his many hotel escapades. He would find himself in the most remote of places – crossing every Do Not Enter and Staff Only sign that came his way.

He hid in rooftops and utility rooms but his favourite by far was the kitchen. He met Mr. Ilsung during one of those escapades when he was only seventeen. He wasn’t Chef back then, though. He’d only be assisting in the kitchen but they fell into a fondness that made him feel like family. He’d keep him company and in return, Mr. Ilsung would keep him well fed – treating him to all of his favourite foods, his touch taking on every recipe with a twist.

His wife had fallen ill a year ago, leaving him a widower. Everything happened so suddenly the man found himself walking into an early retirement, too consumed by sorrow. This had made Jungkook feel more nostalgic than he’d imagined possible, which lead him to present the man with an offer that he found himself unable to deny. Mr. Ilsung didn’t have kids, and now with his wife gone nothing was holding him to the city. Jungkook’s idea to make him the head Chef at his new hotel had him packing up his belongings and starting his life over by the seaside. He was immeasurably grateful.

Jungkook sees one of the cooks walk over, holding an assortment of fruits, chocolates and a bottle of his favourite red wine inside a basket adorned with roses. “What is this?”

“A welcome gift, Mr. Jungkook. The chocolates are for Miss Soori, though.” Mr. Ilsung sets the basket atop the kitchen counter.

“This is very kind, Mr. Ilsung. Thank you very much.”

Jungkook takes one look at the basket and it doesn’t take his eyes long to find it – a greeting note, both his and Ira’s name written on it.

Kaya notices this and she visibly tenses next to him, eyes widening as she begins to apologize profusely.

“Don’t. And don’t give anyone hell over this, Kaya,” he says, narrowing his eyes at her. “It’s not their fault.” She just nods.

It’s not anyone’s fault. Not Kaya’s, not the concierge at the lobby who probably printed it, not Mr. Ilsung. He doesn’t even think he blames Ira anymore. Blame bounces around and he’s come to realize that in the end it doesn’t really do anything to ease pain. On the contrary, it fuels it.

“I will make sure it doesn’t happen again, though,” Kaya tells him and he turns to her, a soft but grateful smile on his lips. “Now go. Go build sand castles with that cute, chubby baby of yours.”

For once, Jungkook puts blame onto something that doesn’t tear at his heart. Quite the opposite actually, it heals him. He blames the ocean.

As he walks down the boardwalk that leads to the beach, he can feel the tiny grains of flyaway sand under his feet. It’s a sunny day and the water is a deep shade of blue, gentle waves breaking at the shore, darkening the once white of the sand.

He thinks you and Soori match the view. You wear white and she wears blue – in solid one pieces that even resemble each other in shape. She plays with the sand, curious as ever before she brings her hand to her mouth, probably swallowing a good amount before you’re frantically pulling her hand away. You laugh, though, and she takes on an expression that goes from fear to amusement at this.

Jungkook can’t help but laugh, too, and at this, you both turn to him. He tells himself you’re only mimicking Soori’s excitement to humour her, wind her up a little even.

“Say hi, daddy!” you tell her, waving her little hand. Jungkook smiles so, so big before he waves back, coming to sit down next to her.

“How’s my beach babe,” he asks, and you have to put actual mental strain to remember he’s talking about his daughter.

“The sand is incredibly entertaining, even after twenty minutes. Especially when we find seashells,” you open your palm, a handful of them coming to view. “Hey, does she like the water? The tide seems calm…”

“She does. Don’t know how she’ll feel about the temperature, though.”

You shrug. “We can try.”

Your hair dances in the wind a little bit and under the bright sun he can see just how soft it looks. His eyes travel down, stopping right below your neck – a silver necklace with a round pendant falls right in the middle, tiny blue jewels make up a star at its center.

“What do you write about?”

You scoff before saying, “will you laugh if I tell you?”

“Am I that much of an asshole?” He’s smiling but you can sense the worry in his voice.

“Language,” you say. “And I won’t confirm or deny without the presence of a lawyer.”

Jungkook laughs. He doesn’t know if he should be laughing at your bold wittiness but he lets himself throw his head back, throaty laugh falling past his lips. Joint with the sound of the ocean it makes for a heavenly sound, you think.

“Tell me – I won’t laugh without the presence of one either, promise.”

“Fine. Feelings, stories… poetry,” your voice comes to a murmur at the last word, gaze falling down.

“Do you turn every feeling into poetry?”

“Kind of, I guess. It helps – to turn feelings into something more. Say pain, for example. Isn’t it comforting to think it can become something other than just pain?” Your question is rhetoric and he doesn’t answer it – but he nods and something in his eyes tells you he’s storing your words somewhere in there.

Soori shrieks at the feel of the water hitting her little toes, but neither of you can tell if it’s in wonder or terror. You kneel down, taking in her expression and you laugh, looking up at Jungkook who’s thumbs are in Soori’s hold, tighter than he’s ever felt it.

“I think she likes it,” you say, salt water droplets falling from your hand to her head and she kicks excitedly at the feel, giggles leaving her mouth.

What if pain could turn into something other than just pain?

Jungkook thinks that’s brave.

He thinks you are, too.

i love them, i do. jungkook’s character development? so sexy of him. they’re so soft and cute and my heart just aaaaaaaaagh for these two. I truly hope u enjoyed. do let me know if u did, i love talking to u guys about it <3 thank u for all the love! chapter 4 is cooking and so are my sexy juices bc ggukie needs some loving methinks. so buckle up buckaroos!!!🤫

878 notes · View notes

jungshookz · 3 years

Text

kiss me at midnight; myg

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; ceo!y/n x secretary!yoongiverse!! sfw!! fluff!! the title says it all!! this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for!!

➺ wordcount; 8.1k

➺ summary; y/n finally musters up enough courage to tell yoongi about her i-know-i’m-your-boss-but-i-have-non-boss-feelings-for-you feelings.

➺ what to expect; “careful, secretary min… i might have to give you a raise if you keep sweet-talking me like that.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

“let’s see… the decorators are coming at 2, the caterers are coming at 6:30, the DJ is coming at 7…” yoongi reads out loud as he goes down his checklist, “the bartender sent over the special drinks menu which i emailed to you this morning, and- ah, right, the caterers mentioned that they were able to switch the mini hot dogs to sliders instead-”

“oh, that’s great! mini hot dogs just don’t carry the same level of class as teeny little hamburgers…” you narrow your eyes slightly as you clasp your hands in front of your face, tapping your fingers against each other, “what about the chocolate lava cakes?”

“mhm, don’t worry, those are on the menu as well, as per your request,” yoongi pauses, “ah- the people bringing the photo-booths are coming to set them up at 5 - we’ve already cleared out the space for them, so that should be good to go… also, are we putting a limit on photos?”

“a limit?”

“yes, a limit,” yoongi looks up at you and shrugs, “there’s only so much film and it wouldn’t be fair for one person to take ten photos and for another person to not have any at all.”

you immediately scoff before dismissing yoongi with a flick of your wrist, “silly yoongi, you can’t put a limit on fun. just tell them we’re willing to pay for extra film and for one of their workers to hang out at the party and wait until the booths need refilling.”

“there.. is no limit… on fun…” yoongi mutters to himself as he continues to scribble notes down in his notebook, “and… that’s it!” he clicks his pen before tucking it back into his shirt pocket, “pretty much everything has been taken care of. if all goes well, this’ll be a fantastic new year’s eve party.”

“yay!” you throw your hands up into the air before leaning back against your chair with a giggle, “this is so exciting. i love throwing parties!”

“and i love planning parties...” yoongi hums absentmindedly, looking back down at his list, “so i guess we make a pretty good team...”

“teamwork makes the dream work, right?”

“mm.”

a couple seconds of silence ticks by as you scour through your brain for a new topic of discussion

you could... talk about the weather?

or maybe ask him what he did over the weekend?

ask him about what he did on christmas day??

“so…” you clear your throat, smoothing your skirt down before folding your arms on your desk and leaning forward slightly, “you bringin’ any... hot dates to the party tonight?”

wow

that was... not an ideal topic of discussion

also, way to sound like a creep!

“me?” yoongi glances up at you and tilts his head slightly, “well, i’ll be with you.” he pauses, dark brows knitting together, “did you… want me to bring a date?” he shifts in his seat, “i’m sure i can arrange for someone to accompany me if that’s what you want.”

“no!” your eyes widen and you shake your head quickly, “i mean- no, i was just- you know, i just- usually you have a plus-one that you bring to parties and, like, i’m sure that you probably had other new year’s plans that didn’t involve being at the party your boss is throwing- i’m just saying that perhaps, if you were planning on actually bringing someone, i just wouldn’t want to be a cock-block-”

you’re cut off (thankfully) when yoongi’s phone suddenly starts to buzz on your desk

he extends his arm and catches it right as it’s about to fall off (which, admittedly, shouldn’t have been as hot as it was, but yoongi could be sitting there doing nothing and you’d still find it attractive)

he holds a finger up pardon himself and you nod before leaning back a little

“hello? …oh, perfect. yes, i can come and pick them up now…” yoongi trails off, sandwiching his phone in between his ear and his shoulder before pushing his sleeve up a little to check the time on his watch, “i can be there in… roughly half an hour? yes. alright. perfect. see you soon.”

he hangs up with a beep before looking back over at you, “sorry about that! your dress and heels are ready for pick-up. what were you saying before my phone went off?”

“hm?” you clear your throat, “oh! uh… nothing. i was just- you know, small talk. but you can go now if you want to- i mean, obviously you need to go and pick up my outfit for tonight so i’ll just let you go-”

“alright, perfect-” yoongi nods and gets up from his seat, “i shouldn’t take too long but if anything comes up, just call me-”

“yep! you got it, homie-” you shoot finger guns at yoongi before quickly forcing your arms down and shoving both your hands in between your knees so that they won’t do anything like that again

your face flushes bright red as soon as the door shuts behind yoongi and a quiet groan slips past your lips before you smack your forehead down on your desk

jesus

that... was rough, to say the least!

sure, you fumble over your words whenever you talk to yoongi on a regular basis, but it’s never usually this bad...

what’s gotten into you today?!

maybe it’s just the pre-party jitters!

“get it together, y/l/n.” you mutter to yourself, patting your cheeks lightly before pulling your laptop towards you and opening it up

if there’s anyone who can get you get your shit together, it’s hoseok

Y/N Y/L/N (10:12AM): help me

you perk up when hoseok responds almost immediately, your laptop letting out a little ping! from his message

you have half a mind to scold him for not doing work and being on the company’s messaging system but you dO need to talk to him right now so

Jung Hoseok (10:12AM): What did you do this time

Y/N Y/L/N (10:12AM): nothing!! idk what’s wrong with my mouth today i’ve never called anyone homie in my entire life

Jung Hoseok (10:13AM): ?

Y/N Y/L/N (10:13AM): you had to be here to understand :-//

Jung Hoseok (10:13AM): Okay well

Jung Hoseok (10:13AM): I don’t know what I’m supposed to say now

Y/N Y/L/N (10:13AM): can you just come to my office because it’s too much to type out

Y/N Y/L/N (10:13AM): and bring me an iced coffee from the vending machine while you’re at it because yoongi left to pick my dress up

Jung Hoseok (10:14AM): Let me get this straight

Jung Hoseok (10:14AM): You want me to stop working and you want me to go to your office so we can gossip about Yoongi

Y/N Y/L/N (10:14AM): gossip sounds bad

Y/N Y/L/N (10:14AM): ‘discuss’ sounds more professional

Jung Hoseok (10:14AM): …

Jung Hoseok (10:15AM): See you in ten minutes lmao

»»————-　♡　————-««

“you asked him if he was planning on bringing a date to the party?!” hoseok laughs, leaning back against the chair before folding his arms over his chest and shaking his head, “wow. what, are you going to help him plan his wedding too?”

“don’t say that!” you groan, rubbing your fingers against your temples in tight circles, “i was just trying to start a conversation… i don’t know...”

“start a conversation? about what? about encouraging yoongi to be with someone who isn’t you?”

“keep up the attitude and i’ll reduce your lunch break from one hour and fifteen minutes to one hour and fourteen minutes.” you raise a brow in warning, hoseok gawking before wagging a finger at you

“i’ll report you to HR for abuse of power!” he jokes, his smile faltering when he notices that you still have that mopey, kicked-in-the-gut look on your face, “okay, think about it this way: this party couldn’t have come at a better time, you know? because now you know exactly what you have to do!”

“huh? oh, right.” you nod slowly, “yeah, of course i know what i have to do at tonight’s party.” you snort, pulling away from your desk and sitting up straight, “but... you know, just to make sure that you know what it is that i have to do, would you mind telling me what exactly we’re saying i have to do?”

“y/n. come on.” hoseok presses his lips together before leaning forward, “what do people usually do at new year’s eve parties?” he asks gently, in that infuriatingly condescending tone that people usually use when they’re talking to children

“people share their new year’s resolutions with each other?” you hum, thinking back to the new year’s eve party you were at last year where you ended up talking to a very friendly bartender about all the plans you had in mind for the new year

you can’t help but wonder how he’s doing

“well, yeah, but not quite what i had in mind-” hoseok shakes his head, “what else do they do?”

“they... sing karaoke really loudly?” you frown before letting out a gasp, “oh no! i didn’t think of that! do you think it’s too late to rent a karaoke machi-”

“wow, i really have to spoon-feed this to you-” hoseok slaps his hands against his thighs before letting out a huff, “a new year’s kiss, y/n. does that ring any bells?”

“oh, right! i forgot about that part,” you chuckle lightly, tilting your head back against the top of your chair to look up at the ceiling, “but what does that have to do with-” you pause, head snapping back down to look at hoseok with wide eyes, “oh, you’re saying that i should- with yoongi- hoseok, i can barely look at yoongi for five seconds without breaking eye contact-”

“why not?! its new years! you have to have someone to smooch when it’s midnight. even i have someone to kiss!”

“wait, who are you kiss-”

“and you know what the best part is?” hoseok grins, “you have an excuse to get super drunk tonight! and a drunk y/n is a slightly more confident y/n-”

“oh, i can’t- i can’t ask him, no.” you chuckle nervously, your hands suddenly feeling a little clammy at the thought of asking yoongi to kiss you, “because then he’s going to feel like he has to kiss me because i’m his boss, and the next thing you know, i’m being called up to HR-”

“you’re overthinking this again, y/n,” hoseok sighs, “don’t forget the fact that i caught him checking you out at the halloween party. you have to admit that he’s slightly interested in you.”

“that’s different!” you argue, your brows furrowing, “i was dressed as a sexy friggin’ bunny, for god’s sake!”

“and tonight, you’ll be dressed as a sexy friggin’ boss! the only difference is that you won’t have a little cotton tail and two bunny ears-”

“i don’t know…”

hoseok rolls his eyes at your doubt and resists the urge to get up and slap you across the face to get you to come to your senses

you can’t expect anything to happen between you and yoongi if you’re not willing to do something about it in the first place

he can’t even list out how many times you guys have had similar conversations that always end in you chickening out and changing your mind

you were supposed to make a move at the halloween party but you ended up bailing on the plan at the last minute and hoseok had to listen to half an hour of you whining about it over the phone

he adores you but sometimes he just wants to grab you and yell at you for being such a wimp when it comes to yoongi

“okay, you know what? forget yoongi. i’ll be your new year’s kiss!” hoseok teases, leaning forward before wiggling his eyebrows enticingly, “maybe if people see me canoodling with the boss i’ll finally get the street cred i deserve-”

“you know, i don’t know if i’ve reached that level of desperation quite yet-”

“i’m a great kisser, so it’s your loss...” hoseok kisses his teeth, raising his hands in defense, “anyways, just try not to overthink it. take a deep breath, relax, and hopefully you won’t point any more lame finger guns at yoo-”

“-ooou’re fired!” you stand up and slam your fist down on the desk the moment yoongi steps into the room, hoseok jolting at the sudden announcement, “you are fired, my good sir! you heard me loud and clear!”

yoongi’s eyes widen slightly and he presses his lips together before stepping aside and lowering his head

“what the hell are yo-” hoseok glances over his shoulder and it dawns over him when he spots yoongi standing by the door, “oh! oh. uh, okay. yes... i am... devastated...” he clears his throat as he rises from the chair slowly, “please... give me a second chance? i... won’t do it again?”

you blink, pulling down your blazer slightly before giving him a curt nod

“...okay, but this is your last chance. next time, you’re really fired.” you clear your throat, sitting back down before gesturing towards the door, “you may leave now, mr. jung.”

yoongi nods in acknowledgement when hoseok walks past him and he waits a couple of seconds before speaking up

“sorry. i didn’t realize you were busy because the door wasn’t closed all the way.” he smiles sheepishly, raising the garment bag in his hand, “i just wanted to put your dress in the closet for you.”

“yes! go ahead.” you smile, gesturing towards the closet before sitting back down in your chair

“by the way, i passed by that breakfast place on the way to the laundromat-” yoongi pauses, glancing over at you on his way to the closet, “you know, the place that makes those BLT bagels you like so much?”

“ooh, with the spicy mayo and the avocado?”

“mhm-” yoongi smiles, shutting the closet door gently and turning to face you, “they do chocolate chip waffles now and i thought maybe that’d be something you’d be interested in for future breakfasts.”

“oh, no way!” your eyes widen in excitement, “i’m very interested in chocolate chip waffles for future breakfasts!”

“that’s what i thought.” he chuckles, making his way back towards the doors, “anyway- i’ll be out there if you need me, boss.”

“mhm!”

you immediately get up from your chair as soon as yoongi leaves the room

you told yourself that you were going to wait until tonight but you’ve been thinking about your dress all week and you wanna see it now!!

“dress, dress, dress-” you murmur to yourself like a maniac, your heels clicking against the floor as you jog over to the closet

you push down a squeal of excitement after unzipping the garment bag and getting a good look at your outfit for tonight

you spent hours searching for the perfect dress and it was totally worth it now that you’re looking at it

it’s a navy blue midi-length dress that sort of cinches in at the waist but the skirt itself is relaxed so you don’t need to worry about your legs being constricted

there’s also a high slit in the skirt which is exciting (you had to shave your legs yesterday which wasn’t as exciting)

and it’s a long sleeve dress but the sleeves and sheer and billowy but cap around your wrists

it’s classy but also a little sexy but not like your halloween playboy costume level of sexy

you’re still not sure what possessed you to dress up as a playboy bunny but even you have to admit that that little black dress looked great on you

you zip the bag back up before pushing it aside to sneak a peek at the suit that yoongi will be wearing to the party

he asked if he could keep his suit in your closet and obviously you said yes because it’s yoongi

your eyes light up when you notice something peculiar about his outfit

it’s navy blue as well!!

the corners of your mouth lift in a wide grin, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of you and yoongi (unintentionally, but still) wearing matching colours tonight

heh

»»————-　♡　————-««

“c’mon, stupid thing...” yoongi frowns to himself as he struggles to tie his tie

he’s been at it for the last ten minutes and it seems like his gummy worm fingers aren’t going to be useful anytime soon

and it probably doesn’t help that he’s using his phone camera as a mirror instead of going to the bathroom to use the actual mirror

he doesn’t know if it showed this morning but he’s been a nervous wreck all day!

he practically zipped out of your office as soon as he had the chance to and he just hopes that you’re not suspecting anything

it’s just that as each day goes by, he gets more and more conflicted over what to do about his feelings for you

this wasn’t supposed to happen!

when he first realized that you liked him, he was flattered and admittedly it was a nice stroke to his ego knowing that his boss was interested in him, but he didn’t know it’d turn into this

he didn’t know he’d end up liking you back

this is a disaster!

he’s not supposed to like you back!

he already tried forcing himself to stop liking you but if anything it’s made things worse

he thought your schoolgirl crush was sweet at first and then one day he found your poor excuse of asking him to stay after hours to help you re-organize your pens was cute and ever since then it’s gone downhill

like the other day when he was eating lunch with you - you took the paper sleeve that holds the chopsticks and you folded it into a makeshift chopstick rest and gave it to him to use and,,. he’d have to be crazy to not find that wildly endearing

yoongi lets out a huff and leans back against his chair as he looks at himself on his phone screen

“good going, moron.” he grumbles to himself before lifting his hand and flipping himself off, “you and your feelings.”

of course, it’s not technically a... bad thing that he likes you back, right?

...but what’s everyone going to think?

he knows that he’s on the list of people getting the christmas bonus (because he helped you type it out) but what if people think he just slept his way to the money??

oh, god

that’s not who he is!

this is too much to think about right now

he just had this suit pressed and he’s not about to ruin it by nervously sweating in it

he’s just going to enjoy this party with you and then deal with his feelings later!

future yoongi can handle it

present yoongi is just going to enjoy the ride B-)

“whatcha up to?”

“-!” yoongi jumps and scrambles up from his seat when he hears your voice all of a sudden, “y/n! sorry, i didn’t hear you come out of... your... office...” he trails off, voice softening slightly as he takes in how beautiful you look in your dress

obviously he already knew what you were going to wear because he was the one who picked up your outfit from the dry cleaner’s but... it’s a different experience actually seeing you in it

beautiful

there’s really no other way to describe it

you look... beautiful.

“i don’t know why on earth you’re wearing a tie to a party.” you snort, eyes flicking down to the tie hanging loosely around his neck, “this isn’t a business meeting, yoongi.” (you decided it’d be best to take hoseok’s advice. no overthinking - just relaxing! and it seems to be going well...)

“oh.” yoongi snaps himself out of his daze before shaking his head, “i… i don’t know why, either. i guess i’m just used to wearing a tie.”

“well, i say ditch it - you know, let loose a little! it’s new year’s eve, after all.”

before yoongi even knows it, you’re stepping towards him and sliding the tie from his neck in one swift movement before tossing it onto his desk

ᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ

you even smell pretty

he freezes when you reach up to undo a couple of buttons on his shirt, his hands gripping the edge of his desk so tightly that his knuckles are stark white

“there we go!” you smile, fixing yoongi’s collar before nodding to yourself, “much better. also, do you think you can help me with my heels? i put them on already but the little buckles are flimsy and i can’t do them because of my nails.” you raise both your hands before wiggling your fingers

“mhm, of course.” yoongi steps aside and gestures towards his chair, “take a seat and i’ll take care of them for you.”

yoongi’s chair squeaks slightly as you sit down on it and you make a mental note to get him a new one

...maybe you should get everyone in the office new chairs to make your crush on yoongi less obvious

lots to think about

“so, do you think anyone’s going to have fun tonight?” you ask quietly, leaning back against the chair, “i’m nervous.”

“i’m sure everyone’s going to have fun, y/n,” yoongi lowers himself onto the ground so that he’s down on one knee before raising your leg so that your foot is pressed against his chest, “they get free food, free alcohol, and there are fun 2021 party hats and stupid 2021 glasses to match. what’s not to love?”

“me. i’m the part they don’t love.” you snort, propping your elbow up on yoongi’s desk before leaning against your fist, “i’m gonna take one step onto the rooftop and immediately ruin the party somehow. i bet the dj will stop playing music and his records will make that awkward scratchy sound.”

“don’t be so harsh on yourself…” yoongi scolds, tucking the thin strap into the buckle and giving it a little tug to make sure it’s nice and secure before lowering your foot gently, “besides, if anyone looks at you weirdly, i can just call security and have them escorted out of the party.” he tuts, smiling up at you as he lifts your other foot

“ooh. careful, secretary min… i might have to give you a raise if you keep sweet-talking me like that.” you joke, pushing the ball of your foot gently against yoongi’s chest teasingly

“oh, yeah? i wouldn’t be opposed to that, boss…” the corner of yoongi’s mouth twitches in a side smirk as he slips the other strap into place, “alright, there we go! heels are nice and secure.”

he gets up from the ground, dusting his knee off before extending his hand to help you get up from his chair, “ready?”

“as ready as i’ll ever be...” you reach for his hand only to pause, your nose scrunching slightly as you pull away, “i don’t know. let’s think this through. do we have to go to the party?”

“well, you are the host.” yoongi points out, “and i planned the whole thing! do you know how hard it was to arrange for a karaoke machine on new year’s eve?” he frowns playfully, “you can’t bail on me like this.”

“i guess...”

“listen- whenever you want to leave, just let me know and i’ll grab the entire plate of sliders, a crisp bottle of champagne, and then we’ll head back down here to eat, drink, and watch the fireworks from your office window.” yoongi tilts his head, his hand still out for you to take, “deal?”

“...throw in the chocolate lava cakes as well and we have a deal.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

“wow! you really outdid yourself, yoongi.” you nod in approval as you look around, “look at this place!”

you never even knew the rooftop had the ability to look like some trendy upscale bar that sells cocktails for $30 each

“hey, if this secretary thing doesn’t work out, maybe i could become a party planner.” yoongi jokes, lifting his glass up with a smile

“you know, i really think you could.” you clink your glass against his before taking a sip of the bubbly champagne, “by the way, you don’t have to hang out with me all night. you’re allowed to go and mingle with your coworkers.”

“i know.” yoongi hums before his nose scrunches slightly, “but every time i talk to them, they’re always gossiping about something and i think gossiping is unproductive.”

“wha-” you gawk, your lashes fluttering, “you’re telling me that you’ve had access to juicy office gossip this whole time and not once have i ever heard any of it??”

“i mean...”

“you have to tell me something. i’ll take anything!”

you grin excitedly when yoongi gestures for you to come in closer

“jungkook and tzuyu had sex on the photocopier by the supplies room.” he blurts out quickly, clearing his throat before taking a sip of his own champagne, “but you didn’t hear it from me!”

“they- what?!” you gasp in shock, jaw practically dropping to the floor, “they did?? during work??”

“no, it was after work!” yoongi shakes his head, “i think you had a meeting across town that night which is why we weren’t here... otherwise we... probably would’ve heard it but- it’s on the CCTV security cameras and everything. of course, since the photocopier is kind of out of frame, you can only see their lower halves-”

“well, then how do you know it was jungkook and tzuyu??”

“their shoes! and jungkook’s socks. he’s the only one who wears bright purple rubber-duckie socks to work.”

the two of you turn to look at jungkook across the rooftop and you blink before looking back over at yoongi with a pout

“that’s my favourite photocopier.” you mutter, “i hope they didn’t get any... fluids inside of it-”

“gross! why would it be inside of the machine?!”

“i don’t know! people go crazy during sex sometimes!” you raise your hands in defense before clearing your throat quietly, “okay, but seriously, i feel like having vigorous sex on a piece of office equipment is definitely violating something so i might have to bring them in for a little chat-”

“ooh, can i be there when you scold them?”

“absolutely-”

“miss y/n?” you jump in surprise when someone taps your shoulder gently from behind

you glance over your shoulder to see joy before smiling politely, turning around fully to face her, “joy! what’s up?”

“i’d like to talk to you about something, if that’s alright - do you have a moment?”

“oh! um, of course-” you pause, turning to hand yoongi your glass, “let’s head over there for some privacy. what’s on your mind?”

“it’s just... you know, regarding past comments i may or may not have made about you-” she chuckles uneasily, “seeing as you still have to figure out who’s getting christmas bonuses this year, i thought that-”

yoongi bites back a grin when you turn back to look at him with pleading eyes and he shrugs helplessly before raising his own glass at you and downing the rest of the champagne

»»————-　♡　————-««

yoongi’s never been a huge fan of parties mainly because he’d much rather enjoy a bottle of champagne and full-sized burgers in the comfort of his own home

he really only started going to parties once you became CEO of the company and he wasn’t left with a choice because he was worried that you’d fire him if he didn’t attend any of these festive celebrations

he likes to think that you’ve opened him up to new experiences, helping him become a better human being overall

:-)

“hey!” yoongi chokes on his tiny burger patty when someone gives his back a hearty slap, “i’ve been looking for you everywhere! i have a bone to pick with you, min yoongi.”

yoongi’s brows furrow in confusion when it’s hoseok that plops down on the bar stool next to him

“what-” yoongi swallows his bite before giving his chest a couple of pats to help get the masticated chunks of meat down smoother, “what did i do??”

hoseok opens his mouth to say something before pausing, eyes flickering to the side as he reconsiders what he’s about to say

he’s a little tipsy thanks to the open bar so he didn’t really think this decision through but he’s here now so it’s a little late to back out

you explicitly asked him not to meddle but he feels like if he doesn’t do anything, then you’ll never do anything and you’ll just go to the grave keeping your feelings for yoongi a secret

does this count as meddling?

he just has to find a way to steer the conversation towards the topic of you and yoongi and romance

this might be meddling, now that he’s thinking about it

...

it’s fine!

he’ll do it in such a subtle way that yoongi won’t even notice!

“it’s not something that you’ve done. it’s something that you haven’t done.” hoseok clears his throat, narrowing his eyes at yoongi suspiciously, “do you like y/n? because she likes you.”

(not very subtle, but hoseok never likes to beat around the bush.)

“woah-” yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise and he lets out a nervous chuckle before looking around, “ha, i- um- where did you get that idea from?”

“you didn’t deny it.” hoseok grins in success, “so you do?”

“i...” yoongi pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek before he lets out a huff and his shoulders droop in defeat, “yeah. yeah, i do. ...but what does that have to do with you?”

“oh, it has everything to do with me!” hoseok chirps, clapping his hands together excitedly, “i’m here to give you advice!”

“yeah, okay,” yoongi immediately scoffs and rolls his eyes as he turns back to pick up his drink, “no offense, but i don’t think i should be getting advice from the guy who was almost fired today-”

“oh, please, i wasn’t getting fired when you walked in.” hoseok raises a brow, “we were talking about you before you barged in so y/n obviously panicked and changed the subject to make it look like she wasn’t going all goo-goo-ga-ga over you-”

“what? you were- y/n was talking about me?” yoongi perks up, his interest in the conversation suddenly reigniting, “really?”

“she’s always talking about you,” hoseok points out, “don’t get me wrong - i love going to her office to talk about you instead of doing my work, but it’s exhausting! which is part of the reason as to why i’m willing to give you advice to get this show on the road.”

“i don’t need advice, though.”

“of course you need advice. if one of you finally made a move, i wouldn’t need to give you advice, but here i am.” hoseok gestures to himself before shrugging, “so... what’s wrong with you?”

yoongi scoffs in offense

that’s a little ruDE

“what’s wrong with me?”

“yeah. why haven’t you made a move yet if you like y/n back?” hoseok emphasizes as a reminder that this crush goes two ways and that yoongi can be blamed for the lack of action just as much as you

“because... i can’t! it’s not that easy, man.” yoongi shakes his head, “i can’t just ask her out. she’s... like... she’s miss y/n.”

“yes. and the sky is blue.” hoseok frowns, “i’m sorry, what’s the problem?”

“she’s the boss!” yoongi snaps, glaring over at hoseok, “she’s our boss!”

“exactly! she’s the boss! if you’re going to date someone in the office, it might as well be the person signing off everyone’s paycheques at the end of each month-”

“but you can’t- the rules!”

“what rules??”

“there are no rules! that’s why i’m so confused! i’m used to rules! that’s how the world works in my head! what the hell am i supposed to do now? go rogue?! i’ve never gone rogue before!”

“oh, god, who do you think you are? some secret agent? all you’re doing is asking someone out-”

“i can’t date y/n-”

“give me a legitimate reason as to why you can’t date y/n.”

“i’ll be penalized!”

“who’s going to penalize you?!”

“the boss of our boss!”

“please!” hoseok groans loudly, throwing his head back in frustration, “you don’t think he’s goofed around with any of his secretaries?”

“okay, but this isn’t me goofing around with y/n, this is me... being serious with y/n!” yoongi presses his lips together, unsure of what to say next, “yeah. i wanna be serious with y/n.”

“i promise you that no one cares about relationships as long as work is handed in on time and bags of money are being made.” hoseok hums, gesturing for the bartender to fix up another drink for him

having this conversation about you with yoongi is just as exhausting as having this conversation about yoongi with you

...

he doesn’t know if that sentence made any sense but all this alcohol is making the words jumble up together

“well, okay, but-” yoongi chuckles nervously, turning and setting his glass down on the bar countertop, “then we’d have to make a file with HR declaring the status of our relationship, and then we’d have to talk about whether or not we want to keep things private or let the whole office know- oh, god, and what if it doesn’t work out? what if we break up? it’d be embarrassing after having declared our love for each other in front of everyone! and favouritism! don’t even get me started on favouritism! people are going to bag on y/n if they find out that i’m on the list of people getting a bonus! ...but, in my defense, even if we weren’t together i would probably still be on that list because i’m hardworking-”

“yoongi-” hoseok interrupts, slapping both his hands down on his shoulders before letting out a sigh, “do you like y/n?”

“yes.” yoongi answers without missing a beat, “i like y/n. a lot.”

“okay. then that’s all that matters, right?”

yoongi opens his mouth to respond but he pauses

huh

that... is a fair point...

it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks about his relationship with you

what is it about alcohol that makes some people so wise?

“do you know what kind of a person you’d be if you just repressed your feelings and pretended that they didn’t exist at all? a coward, that’s what you’d be. because y/n is a fantastic woman and you need to hurry up and make a damn move before she realises she’s wasting her time on you and moves on to someone else who isn’t afraid to show their true feelings for her.” hoseok shakes his head gently before pulling away from yoongi with a nonchalant shrug and a snort, “but, you know - i’m drunk as hell and i’ve had nothing to eat so all the things coming out of my mouth righ’now could be complete and utter bullshit!” he hiccups, giggling to himself, “who knows!”

“well… what do you suggest i do?”

“what else do you do at a new year’s eve party?” hoseok’s head flops to the side, the over consumption of nothing but champagne suddenly hitting him like a brick wall

“…share new year’s resolutions?”

“wha- god, you guys are truly the perfect pair- no, dumbass, you kiiissss someone at midnight.” hoseok slurs, “you already know she’s into you. and now i know that you’re into her so she’s definitely not going to oppose giving you a big ol smooch!”

“well, it’s-” yoongi pulls his sleeve up to check his watch, anxiety bubbling in his stomach when he realizes there are exactly twelve minutes to midnight, “oh, god.”

okay

that’s fine!

it’s fine, he can work with twelve minutes!

all he has to do is 1) find you, 2) start a casual conversation, 3) somehow transition the casual conversation into a not so casual conversation about his feelings for you, 4) transition from the not so casual conversation to asking if you’d like to be his new year’s kiss, 5)-

“i can’t pull this off in twelve minutes. i don’t know how i’m going to do this!” yoongi swallows thickly, turning to look at hoseok (who’s starting to doze off), “how the hell am i going to do this??”

hoseok picks himself up off the counter, turning to face yoongi before a wide smile spreads on his face and a little gasp of excitement slips past his lips, “hey! i’ve been looking for you everywhere. i have a bone to pick with you, min yoongi-”

“okay, buddy-” yoongi quickly reaches out to keep hoseok from toppling over, “you’ve definitely had one too many-”

»»————-　♡　————-««

ding!

yoongi steps off the elevator with a huff, quickly checking the time on his watch for the millionth time tonight

he spent two minutes running around the rooftop like a headless chicken in case you were still up there somewhere

luckily jungkook told him that he saw you leave the rooftop and there’s really only one other place that you’d be

he makes his way down the hallway towards the double doors of your office, smiling in success when he sees that one of the doors is slightly ajar

bingo!

maybe it’s because he’s now confident about his true feelings for you, but he feels like there’s a spring in his step right now!

(it could also be because of the liquid courage, but that’s neither here nor there.)

he pushes the door open a little to stick his face in, giving himself a mental high five as he sees you leaning against your desk with a flute of champagne in your hand, staring out the window

“hey!” yoongi clears his throat, knocking on the door gently, “there you are.”

“hm?” you turn to glance over your shoulder, “oh, yoongi! yeah, hey.”

“i didn’t realize you’d disappeared... i would’ve brought the sliders with me if i knew you were in here.” he jokes, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click, “everything okay?”

“ah, well. maybe next time.” you smile stiffly, turning away from him to look back out, “yeah, everything’s fine. joy practically talked my ear off up there so i just felt like i needed to get away from the party for a little while.”

“you know, the fireworks are starting soon...” yoongi points out as he makes his way over to you, “you’re probably going to get better pictures of them up there than down here in your office.”

“yeah, i know… but it’s also going to be very loud up on the rooftop and i’d prefer to start the new year off with working eardrums.” your nose wrinkles as you let out a chuckle, “also, i…”

“what?”

“i… i don’t know, i just don’t really want to start the new year awkwardly standing in the middle while everyone else is getting new year’s kisses.” you reach up to scratch the back of your neck before chuckling awkwardly, “that… makes me sound like a very bitter single person and i swear it wasn’t supposed to come off that way-”

“no, i totally get it.” yoongi shakes his head as he wipes his hands on the side of his pants, “as a matter of fact, i kind of wanted to talk to you about something-”

“hold on, hold on- before you say anything, i-” you interrupt him, turning to set your glass down, “i, um- i have something that i wanna say to you as well. can i go first?”

“oh! yes, okay….” yoongi cowers down a little, pressing his lips together tightly, “is... everything alright?”

“yeah!” you nod quickly before pausing, “i mean, sort of. kind of. i’m… not sure if it’s going to be a good idea or not, but i just want to let you know that if you… you know, if you feel uncomfortable or something after i tell you this, you’re free to pack up and leave, you know? i mean, i actually already have a letter of recommendation written for you so if you wanna go off and work for someone else, i’ve already put in a lot of good words for you-”

“woah, woah-” yoongi raises his hands before letting out a chuckle, “i- while i definitely appreciate the gesture, you know i’m… not planning on going anywhere, right?”

“yeah, well… things change!” you clear your throat, gaze averting as you reach up to scratch the back of your neck, “things... change. i… don’t mean to sound so elementary school about it, but i…” you trail off, the little voice in the back of your head reminding you that this is your last chance to back out and not tell yoongi about your feelings for him

you’ve chickened out more than a handful of times, so what’s going to different about this time around?

you look up at yoongi and he blinks twice before offering you a soft smile, “you…?”

how are you supposed to back out when he’s looking at you like that?

and maybe it’s just because he looks particularly handsome tonight in his suit or because you’re all riled up on cocktails, but...

“i like you.” you blurt out, trying your best not to cringe or make any faces, “like… in a… romantic? way?”

yoongi’s eyes widen and the smile fades from his face, though you don’t have much time to process whatever reaction that was before he’s speaking up

“you like me.” yoongi repeats, swallowing thickly before nodding, “in a romantic way.”

“yeah.” you shrug, “and i have for a while, but i just never said or did anything about it because i thought it was inappropriate - you know, because i’m your boss and around the time i started liking you was when we held that seminar for workplace harassment and i didn’t want to make you feel like i was harassing you or creeping on you or anything - a-anyways, at first i thought i was attracted to you solely because you’re hot in that broody, college skater-boyfriend kind of way and i thought it’d go away on its own, but then the feelings never went away, and then i thought that maybe this was just a more serious schoolgirl-type crush that would take time to go away, but then a lot of time went by and it still didn’t go away, so… here we are now, at the end of the year, and i… still have a huge, huge crush on you-”

“-i like you too.”

“okay, cool, but i’m not done talking about-” you pause, your eyes flickering upwards, “wait, what?”

“i like you, y/n.” yoongi breathes out with a smile, his shoulders visibly relaxing, “actually, i’ve known for a long time that you liked me and at first i was just flattered and admittedly i was a little cocky about it but then i... actually started to like you one day and- well, i didn’t want to say anything because- woah-!”

yoongi yelps when suddenly a paperweight is hurled in his direction and nearly whacks him in the face, “what the f-”

“are you kidding me, yoongi?!” you snap, slapping your hands down as you glare at him across your desk, “are you kidding me?!”

“okay, i-i-” yoongi stammers, “i wasn’t expecting this reaction so i’m not entirely sure how i’m supposed to-”

“you knew that i liked you this entire time-” you groan, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “and you knew that you liked me this entire time... and you didn’t say or do anything about it?!”

“well, why didn’t you do anything about it first?” yoongi exasperates, “you- you’re just as much at fault here as i am!”

“because i-” you laugh lightly in disbelief, “because i thought that if i told you that i liked you, that you would feel pressured into saying that you liked me back because i’m your boss! how would i know if your feelings were genuine or if you were just playing along? of course i couldn’t tell you!”

yoongi chews on the inside of his cheek anxiously as you let out a huff before stepping away from your desk and heading over to stand by the window again

“i...” he trails off, bending down to pick up the paperweight before setting it down on your desk gently, “i’m sorry that you... struggled with that... but... i think the important thing is that i do like you, y/n. i genuinely like you, and i was an idiot for not saying anything earlier... i let my doubts get in the way and...” he sighs, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “i’m not good at- i’m not good at dealing with this kind of stuff and usually i just brush it aside and hope the problem goes away but i see you almost every single day so i couldn’t just brush it aside-”

“yeah, well-”

both of you freeze up when you suddenly hear the countdown chanting echo from up on the rooftop and yoongi feels his heart plummet to his stomach when he realizes he didn’t even ask if you wanted to be his new year’s kiss

shit

shit!

“i’m just-” yoongi shakes his head furiously, “i get nervous when there are no rules and there certainly isn’t a handbook for what to do when you’re attracted to your boss-”

10!

you let out a scoff as you turn to face him, “-and you think there’s a handbook for what to do when you’re attracted to your secretary?!-”

“i was a total coward for not saying anything sooner and i wish i did! i wish i kissed you at the halloween party!”

“you- you wanted to kiss me at the halloween party?”

“of course i did, dumbass!” the name slips out of yoongi’s mouth before he even realizes it and he smiles sheepishly when you give him a warning look, “...miss dumbass.”

“anyways,” yoongi coughs, “i-if you’re still interested, i’d really like to kiss you tonight if that’s okay-”

“wait, did hoseok put you up to this?” you narrow your eyes in suspicion before pointing to yourself, “because he told me to ask you to kiss me tonight-”

“yeah, he put me up to this because we both know that you certainly weren’t going to make the first move-”

“how dare you?” you scoff, crossing your arms stubbornly, “i could make the first move if i really wanted to-”

“what?! that’s bullsh- oh my god, can we agree now to kiss first and then argue about this later?!” yoongi snaps, eyes full of panic at the thought of not making it on time, “please??”

“fine, but-”

1- HAPPY NEW YEAR!

you don’t get a chance to say anything else before yoongi swoops in swiftly to lean in and kiss you, warm hands quickly reaching up to cup either sides of your face

the sound of people cheering and fireworks going off in the sky is nothing compared to the erratic thumping of your heart and the high-pitched ringing in your ears

oh, wow

your lashes flutter as you feel yourself relax, your fists uncurling against yoongi so that your hands rest on his chest

you can feel his rapid heartbeat through his shirt and that’s all the confirmation you need to know that yoongi really, truly likes you back

yoongi’s hands leave your face so that he can reach down to grasp your hips and pull you towards him, only for his arms to snake around your waist a second later

your hands slide up his chest before your arms wrap loosely around his neck, feeling as though nothing else matters except what’s happening right now

you’ve dreamt about this moment for so long but it’s so much better than you could’ve possibly imagined it to be

and you’re not sure if it’s the copious amount of champagne that you consumed tonight but you just feel so warm inside

yoongi pulls away (far too soon for your liking), his eyes lidded and hazy as he smiles fondly down at you, “happy new year, boss.”

you can’t fight back the wide grin on your face when he leans down to nudge his nose against yours, both of your hearts undoubtedly beating in time

“happy new year, secretary min.”

❄️christmas with cee 2020 masterlist 🎄

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here?

or perhaps you want something shorter to read?

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