#Abuse tactics

[vyorei]

Tumblr needs to be held accountable for the complete suppression of the pro-Palestine tags. You cannot hide what's happening, pretending it's not trending isn't going to work, we are here and we are speaking and we are ANGRY.

The global attempt to silence people speaking out against genocide is inconceivable, one would find it more realistic in a film, much like everything else that's been happening.

We aren't going to be silenced, we don't support genocide, and we won't bow to the will of a colonial force attempting to ethnically cleanse over 2 million people.

Staff should be ashamed of themselves for their actions, and I hope it haunts them.

✊🇵🇸

#free gaza #free palestine #gaza strip #irish solidarity with palestine #palestine #gaza #boycott israel #israel #Jerusalem #Colonialism #Suppression #Silencing #Abuse tactics #Manipulation #Silence is violence #Shame on you #Personal

[furiousgoldfish]

abusers when you're in a ton of pain, depressed, anxious, suicidal, but still obeying them and under their control: Nothing is wrong with you

abusers when you're showing a hint of resistance and finding joy in something that puts you away from their control: You're going to go BAD, who did this to you, who changed you? You are Wrong and Stupid and you will WALK INTO YOUR DEATH, you need to be Stopped Immediately, you need to get Help and be return to normal, you are Delusional and Mad!!

#abusers #control #abuse tactics #controlling behaviour #brainwashing #psychological abuse #emotional abuse

[unwelcome-ozian]

#abuse #abuse tactics #abusers

[moonlit-positivity]

Its so important to ✨feel your feelings✨ because that's what abuse does- abusers take away your right to feel anything they don't want you to feel. They tell you shit like "you're crazy," "that never happened," and "your anger doesn't matter! I'm more important!" And it's imperative to fight back against that. No one ever has a right to tell you your feelings don't matter. Regardless of who they are, what they've told you, how long you've known them, or how much you care about them. Your feelings are much more important and it's imperative you protect them.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #healing thoughts #abuse recovery #abuse #toxic relationships #toxicity #abusive relationships #abusive friendships #actually abused #actually traumatized #emotions #emotional regulation #feelings #self harm #self hate #self care #bpd #abuse tactics #abusive parents #acoa #suggestions #encouragement #positivity #reminders

[monarchmusings]

Stonewalling

"Part of the deliberate intention of stonewalling is to keep the survivor 'on the hook' and not really able to pursue alternatives because the issue is still 'open' in some technical sense. However, in an abusive relationship, isolation and threats are usually present, and the survivor has no safe options to pursue needs except through the primary aggressor....Stonewalling is a complete pattern of non-communication and non-cooperation that only works from a position of power."

In short, anytime your partner ignores you, refuses to discuss issues with you, doesn't support your plans, won't compromise, won't explain their motivations, or refuses to hear your opinion or feelings, they may be engaging in stonewalling.

Some examples might include:

Refusing to discuss travel plans.

Refusing to support your plan to return to work or school.

Refusing to explain why they don't want you to come to their office parties.

Refusing to try a new activity with you.

Refusing to compromise on bedroom activities.

Refusing to hear your opinions about dietary changes to improve your health or the health of your children.

Refusing to collaborate regarding household chores and maintenance.

Refusing to discuss the need to move to a new home due to health or mobility issues.

Refusing to discuss the need for replacements or upgrades in your home.

#domestic abuse #stonewalling #abuse tactics #relationships #communication

[bewitched-bullet]

Awe, someone called me out specifically! Isn't that cute~? 🖤 Unfortunately I'm afraid it seems whatever physical evidence the important players had probably won't show now. They've been scared off cause of all this. And this little anon group targeting you all for it, they don't have evidence of their own either. Only name calling and Word of John (and Harry). So I suppose there is an unfortunate impasse. Though I wonder. Where did the mention of a so called "group chat" come from? - A friend from the dark.

My Darkling Friend, you are quite right. But I do hope that they step forward.

The best way to destroy the illusion of power that an abuser/bully thinks they have, is to adopt a "don't give a fuck" attitude and shine that light despite what the abuser/bully is holding over on you.

This can look like, threatening to destroy your work/website/blog/information/accounts you have gathered/owned over the years.

If the victim and abuser shared items, accounts, art, etc that the victim has put emotional value and intellectual work into, insinuating that you will take it away, then say you're not, then threaten that you will, etc.

Doxxing, threatening to doxx, or insinuating doxxing is a common online one.

I can keep going. But all these examples are examples of common abuse tactics to keep the victims in fear, shame, and under the abuser's control.

Oh! Almost forgot. I have no idea where that thought of us all having a group chat came from.

#a scandal in tumblr #abuse tactics #my darkling friend

[unhinged-ill-thoughts]

if it took them years and your breaking point in the partnership for them to finally figure out how to love you properly all of a sudden, it means they either:

Could've learned to love you properly this whole time and didn't ;

Already knew how to love you and wouldn't ;

Or they don't plan on loving you like this for very long.

Bc it's a form of lovebombing to suddenly just *figure it out* one day and you're not a bad person for not being satisfied with it/not finding it to be enough to get you to stay.

No matter what they may say to twist the narrative and try to paint you as the bad person for not accepting it.

If they wanted to actually love you, they wouldn't have waited until your usefulness- as a punching bag, slave, and expendable character- was at the threatening point of leaving their grasp.

#It's the same thing as them suddenly fixing themselves after you leave #They had this whole time to figure it out but couldn't until you left? #Trying to make you look bad and them look like a miracle #But it's them bandaging a bruised ego and forcing themself to “seem” better out of spite #Which still makes them just as shitty as they were when they were dating you #trauma #Abuse #love bombing #Lovebombing #abuse tactics #controlling behavior #real talk #run away #abuse recovery #abuse survival #toxic #manipulation #manipulative #fuck abusers #breakup #punching bag

[daffodilhorizon]

DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender Just thinking about how carnists do this to vegans all the time??? Deny: "I'm not doing anything wrong by funding animal abuse!"

Attack: "Actually, you vegans are using way too much plastic. And agave. Soy is actually causing a lot of environmental problems" {casually ignores that most soy is farmed to feed animals who will be killed a few months later for a few minutes of taste pleasure} Reverse Victim and Offender: "Vegans are actually attacking my beliefs in which i think it's okay to harm others for my pleasure :C :C :C" "I'm the victim because a vegan said i shouldn't hurt others" "A vegan responded to my unprompted attacks on them and now they're being like, soooooo mean to me :( I don't deserve this i just want to enjoy my murdered sentient animal " FUCK THIS MANIPULATIVE ABUSER SHIT, THE DEAD BODIES YOU'RE CONSUMING FOR PLEASURE ARE THE REAL VICTIMS i don't care how sad it makes you to be told that you're hurting others, you need to fucking STOP

#carnist fragility #abuse tactics #veganfortheanimals

[fayrobertsuk]

The thing about having been through and out the other side of abusive relationships is that you begin to see the patterns everywhere. The cyclical process of manipulating loyalty and servitude through pain, neglect, isolation, and lovebombing can apply as easily to corrupt governments and to major retail brands as it does to abusive parents, teachers, partners, and friends.

And where it used to make me feel helpless, it now makes me feel angry and determined.

#Fay speaks #abuse #abuse tactics #government #marketing #late stage capitalism #anger

[furiousgoldfish]

There's more to living in abuse than just always being afraid of violence and getting injured and shunned whenever you try to stand up for yourself.

There's days, weeks and months of hard work, where you do believe you'll be able to prove that you're good enough, and in return you get told that nothing you did was of any value. That hurts deeply. There's time and energy you put into trying to understand the abusers, trying to make them less abusive by giving them care and love, believing, as you were lead to, that they'll be good if only you do as they say. You end up absolutely devastated as they return to taking every bit of anger out on you, unfairly, after you did everything in your power to please them.

There's hearing and overhearing them talking about you, like you're not a part of the family. There's sleepless nights where you try to figure out how to improve, how to earn your right to belong, how to not make them ashamed of you. There's a feeling of anxiety that you're possibly fundamentally wrong and unlovable, to the point where nothing will ever be good enough, no matter how hard you try.

There's moments when you know deep inside that what they're accusing you of, what they're insulting you with, is entirely untrue. You know you're not selfish, you know that your intentions aren't evil, you know that you're not doing anything to do them any harm. You know yourself. But then you keep hearing over and over, how every person in your living space, possibly even in your life, considers you the worst, most selfish, most despicable, menacing, manipulative and demonic. They think this despite all of the kindness, love, care you've given them, all the work you've done for them! It drowns you.

This teaches you that hard work doesn't matter. Doing your best doesn't matter, loving and caring doesn't matter, being considerate and useful doesn't matter. You still have to be those things or you'll be damned to hell and punished and told you're unworthy to live, but even after you do all of it, you'll still be left feeling like you're the worst, laziest, most selfish person to ever exist. It makes the world have no sense, and only sense you can possibly see in those moments is that since everyone agrees on this, it must be something wrong with you. If everyone sees something evil in you, it must be true.

That's how the abuse makes you stop believing in yourself, and in your own knowledge of who you are. It shows you with actions, responses to your effort and work and care, that even your best will be met with contempt. It makes nothing worth doing, and brings you into a state of hopelessness, depression, inability to see any way forward. It's a way to make you more submissive and willing to just do what you are told, because you yourself can no longer figure out what to do.

And for those who've been through that, they shouldn't have done that to you. Your hard work has deserved recognition. Nothing you did back then was of no-value. Your effort was admirable, and your best was impressive. It was not your fault you were put in an un-winnable scenario, you could not have known that no matter what, they would have reacted with abuse. It's likely they've benefited from your work massively and never told you. You've been exploited and nothing they said had any reality connected to it. They lied to you. You were doing incredible that entire time.

#psychological abuse #emotional abuse #child abuse #abusive parents #toxic parents #abuse tactics #devaluing victim's work #devaluation of victims #breaking the victims perceptions of themselves #by reacting to everything good they do like it's awful #until victim breaks and lets abuser tell them what to do #despicable abuse #cruelty

[unwelcome-ozian]

#abuse tactics #toxic relationship

[moonlit-positivity]

Things overheard in therapy: half safe people, are not safe people. People who invade your space in favor of your abusers, will never give you the peace of mind to protect the damage done to your soul. People who side with your abusers, people who stay in contact with them, people who passively mention them to you in conversation, people who cannot self inspect and hold themselves accountable for the role they play in disrespecting your boundaries and your basic human decency, will always continue to invade and disrupt the peace you are trying to cultivate. Know when to back away and remove these types of people from your life. Your peace is more important than a friendship or familial contact who can't even respect you enough to value and uphold you.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #boundaries #mental health #healing #healing thoughts #triangulation #abuse #emotional abuse #abuse tactics #reminders #positivity #self love #self esteem #self worth #emotional regulation

[wcmensworld]

(—) ★ spotted!! oliver hurri on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 25 year old looks like thomas doherty, but i don’t really see it. while the dancer / actor is known for being confident my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be dishonest i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song starboy by the weeknd. { he/him, cismale } - don't look at me, i'm ashamed ( laice )

basics

full name: oliver connor hurri nickname: log age: twenty-five gender: cismale pronouns: he/him hair color: brunette eye color: blue sexual and romantic orientation: het occupation: dancer / reality star tattoos: same as fc piercings: none favorite season: summer favorite color: blue favorite music: r&b, rap, drum and bass favorite animal: bear.

biography

oliver had grown up in a household that was far from safe and loving. his father had been playing an intergral part in a new york gang and he wanted oliver to take over that when he was old enough. he trained oliver from a very young age, how to fight, how to kill, how to get any result he wanted out of someone. and for the longest time, oliver had wanted to impress his dad. he wanted to be this fighter that his dad so desperately wanted him to be. his mother was m.i.a. oliver never really knew what had happened to her, if she was alive or not. with the world he grew up in, it wasn’t that hard to believe that something could’ve happened to her. and with a father like his he wasn’t entirely unconvinced that he hadn’t done it himself. but he knew better than to question it, and after all how could he really be sad of the loss of someone he never knew? instead he liked to pretend that she made it out and was thriving somewhere, even if it was without him, none of that mattered as long as she was okay and safe.  for a while oliver was the apple of his dad’s eye, did everything that was wanted and expected of him, did things that still haunt him to this day. but oliver’s dream was very, very different. he loved to dance. and everyday after school he told his father he’d found a combative training club, but really he was going to dance club. he could do contemporary, lyrical, ballet, jazz, but his biggest passion was hip hop. he put in the hours and the work to improve himself. any chance he got he was dancing. it was his escape from the world he’d been born into and hated. and all was well until oliver posted a video to youtube, it was a dumb idea in hindsight, he never thought his dad would find it. but it blew up over night, it had millions of hits and as soon as it started trending, his father became aware of it. he believed someone had dobbed him in, and he was pretty sure it was his uncle. he always hated him because oliver was next in line for the family business when he wanted it. what he failed to realise was that if anything happened to his father, oliver would have gladly given over the reins to him, he wanted no part of it. 

he still can’t think about that night. how angry his father had been at him, what he had done to him. but it had become more complicated now. oliver had been seen, was getting calls and emails and requests. he couldn’t just sweep this under the rug. so an agreement was made, oliver could pursue his career of dance and everything that came with it, as long as he stepped up to his duties with the gang. he wasn’t tasked with what his dad called ‘little boy’ duties anymore, but the real world stuff. and oliver hated it, but it was for his own survival that he agreed. and from the ages of 15-20 he followed what he was supposed to do. he advanced in his career, was hurled into the world of movie and television appearances, did dance battles and when he was 19 even did an appearance on love island. he managed to stay in the spotlight hiding a big secret, one that he was more ashamed of than anything. 

when he turned 20, it all changed. his father lost, got shot by one of their rivals. and in a frenzy everything had to be moved underground, hidden until they could be back on their feet again. and oliver knew that was his time to flee. he left his uncle one simple note saying that the gang was all his as long as he never contacted him again and he left england, made a new life in america with a vow never to return. now he was entirely career focused, although a life like that was hard to leave behind, there were things he’d done that he couldn’t undo. but he put it all into his dancing, it was his own form of therapy. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS: 

best friend- the person he can have fun with, mess around and just be young for a while. 

most trusted- this person knows the whole of oliver’s heinous past, everything he’s done. he trusts them more than anything in this world. 

dancers- anyone he’s worked with on dance, this could work for reality television too actually. 

exes- exes of any kind, oliver is a difficult person to love because he never opens his heart enough so this can be really angsty if we want it to be 

current hook up- can have feelings attached, doesn’t have to have feelings attached.

#hillzhqsintro #death mention tw #gangs tw #violence tw #abuse tactics #idk what happened here #this wasn't where i was meant to go with this but here we are #i just love a tortured soul

[unhinged-ill-thoughts]

Accountability isn't saying sorry then continuing to run with whatever fucked up delusional story you came up with that lessens the blow of you being the piece of shit in the situation

As much as you may see yourself a victim for past trauma, mental illnesses, etc, you're not the victim in a situation in which you have maliciously used someone and destroyed the parts of them that you used to envy, just because you used to be for a completely different scenario. And I'd rather you didn't speak as though you still were by calling yourself a people pleaser or martyr.

If the past is the past then the past where you once cared about people at 5 years old is dead, and the past of you being the victim no longer exists either. Whatever you have chosen to be last is what you are now.

Thats what happens when you squawk 24/7 about the past is the past. The past that made you justified in the behavior that had nothing to do with it is as invalid as you thinking your past doesn't make you an abuser. You aren't an abuser anymore? Well you sure as hell ain't a victim and honestly never have been.

Personally? I do think our pasts matter and do define us to a certain extent. But they don't excuse your behavior as much as they dont determine it. And it's especially not about pretending like it never mattered. It's called "owning up to it".

If you care about erasing the abuser part but not the victim part, you don't care about moving on. You care about getting stuck in the place that made you feel most comfortable during the whole thing.

#verbal abuse #abuse tw #abuse survival #abuse ment tw #abuse tactics #abuse recovery #fuck abusers #to my abuser #trauma #Ptsd #Past is the past til its not #Right #Unhinged ill thoughts

[etherealsign282]

When abusive people tell me they know themselves better than I know them to try and deflect from the accusations of being called an abuser

But don't know themselves enough to realize their own actions, why they do the things they do, and that doing abusive things quite literally makes them abusive.

Maybe you don't actually know yourself, you just associate who you want to be as who you are?

Because if you do abusive things, you are an abuser.

And that's something everyone can call out on.

A snake can pretend it's not a snake but everyone else knows it's a snake when they get bit.

#writing #literature #emo #wordsnquotes #emotional abuse #mental health #mental illness #sad but true #verbal abuse #abuse survivor #abuse mention #abuse tw #abuse tactics #Abusers can die #fake people #Fake #fake friends #Snake #manipulation #Delusional