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dinosaurtsukki · 3 years

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❀ weakness | “it wasn’t like that” “then what was it?” feat. akaashi keiji

⇢ day 9 of angstcember

⇢ synopsis: being with akaashi keiji, the vocalist of your favorite band, was a dream come true for you. however, he soon becomes far too out of reach.

⇢ a/n: i really love thinking of main vocalist!akaashi and i’m so glad i got to incorporate it into an angstcember fic :D

⇢ pairing: akaashi keiji x f!reader

⇢ word count: 2.5k words

ANGSTCEMBER MASTERLIST (feat. haikyuu!! and bungou stray dogs)

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the thing about falling for musicians and band members was that there was always going to be a distance between you two. there was the physical distance between stage and audience, and the fact that no matter how many times you showed up at their gigs and screamed about being their fans, you were never really ‘close’ to them.

needless to say, you didn’t really care about all that when you first watched akaashi keiji, the main vocalist of a student band, sing onstage in the local bar that everyone in university visited on friday nights. he didn’t look that much different from the other band vocalists you’ve seen with his curly, brown hair, white t-shirt and jeans, and dark eyes lined with black that always fluttered shut whenever he sang. no, it was the way he sang that caught your attention. his voice a beautiful tenor that drew out every syllable of the lyrics. it was as if akaashi was the siren and the crowds formed the dangerous waves that pulled you in close.

the stage lights illuminated the shine of his skin, making him look almost ethereal. the boundary between you and the stage felt even greater even though you were in the very front of the crowd. but when akaashi’s eyes fluttered open to survey the crowd, they landed on yours.

and somehow, it felt as if the distance between you two had been bridged.

...

ever since that night, you had signed yourself up to be their band’s full-time fan. you followed their social media and marked down your calendar to show up at every single gig. always, always, you made it a point to make your way to the front of the audience whenever they played. even though they were still a local band that was pretty much under the radar, you still knew that meeting them in person would take some time.

or so you thought.

“hey.”

the all-too familiar voice made you stop in your tracks as you left the bar to hurry back to your dorm. blinking with surprise, you turned around to find akaashi keiji himself leaning against the wall outside the bar with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. you thought you were dreaming, but he was looking right at you.

“you’re the girl who always shows up at our gigs here, right?”

“i... um, yeah!” you nodded, trying to smooth your hair as much as you could as you inched closer to him. “i... really like your music,” you smiled shyly. up close, akaashi keiji looked even more beautiful under the dim lights. the liner around his eyes looked perfectly smudged and you noticed a few piercings in his left ear.

“i’m glad,” akaashi smiled, shuffling his feet. “it’s... comforting, you know? to see a regular fan. most of the time we’re not even sure if people are going to show up.”

“tons of people do,” you said.

“but none quite like you,” akaashi narrowed his eyes at you before his lips turned up in a slight smile. “um, i feel like it would be too presumptuous of me to ask this but, would you like an autograph?”

“y-yes! definitely!” you nodded a bit too excitedly. akaashi chuckled and searched his pockets.

“i think i have a pen here somewhere...”

“oh, hold on...” you searched your purse for anything he could write on, only to come up with a few paper napkins that you always kept with you. “all i have is this, though.”

“well, same here,” akaashi said, lifting the only writing instrument he had on him: an eyeliner pencil. you couldn’t help but stare in wonder as akaashi carefully signed the paper napkin before handing it back to you.

“figured i should do something nice on behalf of the band for our number one fan before we officially disband,” akaashi smiled.

“d-disband? what? why?” you stammered.

“it’s not official yet, i haven’t told the guys about it,” akaashi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “but, i’ve been thinking that it’s for the best. sure, being in the band is fun but very few actually make it. konoha-san, bokuto-san, and washio-san, they trust me so they’ll believe whatever i say but i don’t want to lead them on, you know?”

“but you guys are amazing!” you protested. “i mean, sure it’s different from mainstream music and all but the lyrics that you have are straight-up poetry and don’t even get me started on the music...”

“you... think my lyrics are poetry?” akaashi looked at you with wide eyes.

“i mean... of course they are,” you said softly. “but, what i’m saying is i believe in you guys. take it from your number fan, why don’t you?” you pleaded one last time. akaashi looked down at the ground, appearing to mull it over, before smiling and nodding.

“alright then. i’ll give it a few more months.”

“you will?”

“but, if nothing happens by then. i’m afraid we’ll have to say our goodbye’s.”

“that won’t happen,” you shook your head. “i just know it.” you carefully folded the napkin with your precious autograph and placed it inside your wallet. “i’ll be seeing you in more gigs, akaashi keiji.” with a wave, you turned around and walked away.

“wait!”

you stopped again and turned around. akaashi looked, nervous, for some reason as he stuffed his hands in his pockets again. finally, he asked.

“would you like to grab a coffee sometime?”

...

you never thought you would actually be able to get to know akaashi keiji beyond the version of him he presented onstage. in the mornings, he attended class, writing song lyrics in the margins of his notebook, and worked part-time at the library. he liked drinking his coffee black and adding a few drops of lavender oil in his laundry so he slightly smelled like it. and knowing this bits of information made it even more wonderful to watch akaashi sing onstage.

true to what you said, something did happen within the few months that you convinced him not for them to disband.

“an invitation to play in the university fair? this is huge!” bokuto, the band’s drummer hooted. you watched with a warm smile on your face as you watched the band members you grew to know and love hug each other. from across the room, akaashi caught your eye before gesturing with his head to head outside.

“what did i tell you?” you grinned smugly when the two of you were alone.

“i know, i know. thank you very much for convincing me to keep the band together,” akaashi smiled at you.

“you can count always count on me to get your hopes up.”

“you have supported our band since the beginning,” akaashi bit his lip as his eyes flickered to the side. “and, i truly appreciate that but... i was wondering if you could support me a bit more... personally.”

“what? of course i will,” you nodded.

“no, i mean,” akaashi paused, inhaled deeply, before continuing. “y/n... i was wondering if you would like to be my girlfriend.”

be his girlfriend?

how could you say no?

“akaashi, of course!” you laughed, flinging your arms around his neck. akaashi’s breath tickled your ear as he pulled you close.

“i’m glad, y/n. i’m so glad,” he smiled, looking down at you. you may have started out watching akaashi from afar, but you had made it closer to him.

...

“there can’t be anything better...” akaashi sang as he played a few chords on the piano, trying out a few different ways to sing the line before settling on a progression that he liked and writing it down. his hair was a mess and he was dressed only in his pajama pants because he headed straight for the stand piano in your bedroom after rolling out of bed.

“i like the second one more,” you said out loud, watching him from where you lay on the bed.

“really?” akaashi cocked his head, playing the chords and singing it again. “hmm... maybe i could have it for the bridge?”

“definitely! and you can make konoha insert a cool guitar riff right there,” you added.

“are you sure you don’t want to be credited in the album?” akaashi looked at you with a sideways smile.

“i’m not that ready for fame,” you teased.

“ït’s literally just our second release. it’s not one to hit the charts just yet,” akaashi shook his head.

“you wanna bet?” you smirked.

“maybe not yet.” akaashi scooted over the piano bench and patted the space next to him. “come, sit here.”

giggling, you left the bed to sit beside him. you loved watching his songwriting process up close, how his thoughts just stringed the perfect words together and coming up with the most amazing melody to compliment it. you loved the sound of his voice, whether it was slightly husky in the morning or as smooth as silk after he drank the tea you’d brew for him, and how his fingers danced over the ivory keys.

“there can’t be anything better than, waking up together when the sunlight hits your face just right...” akaashi sang before pausing. “well, that’s all i got for now.”

“it sounds beautiful,” you sighed.

“that’s because it comes from personal experience,” akaashi smiled, turning to place a kiss on your forehead.

“oh, so am i your muse now?” you teased.

“no,” akaashi scoffed, absentmindedly playing a tune on the piano. “muses are people artists abandon when they’re no longer inspired by them. you,” akaashi grabbed your chin and kissed you on the mouth. “are more than that.”

...

just as you predicted, akaashi’s band grew to success in its own time. the title track of the third album was a hit success, much to akaashi and everyone else in the band’s surprise. they had offers to play on radio shows, to live studio sessions, and then soon, they were able to cut a deal with a record label for their next album. it was the life you knew akaashi had always wanted and you couldn’t be happier for your boyfriend.

you had always known that there was something captivating about akaashi, whether he was on or offstage. he grew to be popular among women and men alike and you just had to be comfortable with it. despite all that, akaashi liked to remind his fans that he already had a girlfriend. he never forgot to dedicate the songs he wrote about you on live or recorded performances and in interviews, he liked to blow a kiss at the camera just for you.

as the band’s number one fan, you still made it a point to attend all of their performances but this time, you weren’t at the very front of the crowd. you were farther now, watching akaashi sing onstage from the VIP section. the view was good but you were much farther now and for some reason, you felt uncomfortable about this.

turns out, it was a prelude to something much worse.

the distance between you and akaashi grew. the band was offered a chance to go on-tour so your boyfriend was constantly caught up in band practices, interviews, and composing new music in the recording studio. your calls with him were always cut short by his manager needing his attention. he even stopped his usual practice of dedicating songs to you.

most nights, you lay in your empty, shared bedroom or absentmindedly played the abandoned piano, wishing you could go back to those days when akaashi was always there when you woke up.

...

“y/n... you’re here!” konoha greeted you just outside the recording studio’s door.

“yeah, i wanted to surprise him,” you chuckled, holding up the box of the birthday cake you had brought. for some reason, konoha’s smile faltered at the sight of the birthday cake. “is... keiji here? did he just leave?” you asked, trying to look over konoha’s shoulder.

“y/n...” konoha paused, evidently struggling with what he was going to say. watching him formed an anxious pit in your stomach. “shit... i-i can’t keep lying to you.”

“konoha... what’s going on?” your hands trembled as they held onto the cake box as the voices from inside the studio grew louder.

“akaashi, you said it would be the last time! we can’t keep covering for you.”

“think about how y/n would feel?”

“let me through! let me through!” you exclaimed, pushing past konoha and into the recording studio room.

nothing could prepare you for what you what you were looking at. now, you understood why those ‘recording studio sessions’ would end up late into the night and why akaashi’s manager, a beautiful young woman who always made you feel less put-together, always looked smug around you.

“keiji...” your voice shook as you watched your boyfriend shift his gaze guiltily to the floor. “how could you...?”

“it-it wasn’t like that--”

“then what was it?” you practically screamed.

“look, you don’t know what it’s like dealing with all of this,” akaashi rubbed the back of his head. “all the stress and expectations and having to come up with new material--”

“you could have come to me! i’m right here, i’ve always been right here,” you bit your lip and asked what you were afraid to know. “how long has this been going on?”

akaashi shifted uncomfortably. “...a few months.”

you turned to look at bokuto who had been standing awkwardly in the side of the room since you came in. “how long?”

“longer than that,” bokuto murmured. “sorry we didn’t tell you sooner.”

“i can’t believe you,” you shook your head, slamming the cake down on a nearby table. “happy birthday, by the way.”

“y/n, wait!”

you didn’t give akaashi a chance to explain himself because you’d already seen enough. it was only when you were on a bus on the way home that the sadness started to hit you as sobs escaped from your chest. despite all of this, you missed akaashi terribly. you missed the feeling of his fingers brushing hair from your face in the morning. you missed how he’d wave at you through the glass in the recording studio. you missed hugging him and smelling lavender on his clothes. you missed the soft look in his eyes when he composed a new song dedicated to you.

with the tears running down your face, you searched through your purse for something to wipe your eyes only to come across the edge of the napkin inside your wallet. you pulled it out to find the autograph from akaashi, the very first one he ever gave to anyone, and immediately remembered that night when you two first talked.

‘to my number one fan: i hope i’ll always get to see your face in the front-row’

the thing about falling for musicians and band members was that there was always going to be a distance between you two. at first, you thought you and akaashi had managed to close that distance, only for you to end up even farther than you ever were.

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event taglist: @himikadafangirl @swoona-rintarou @l-dokisaki-l @laure-chan @aonenthusiast @ah-kaashi @just-a-gay-bean @linyu-sees-you @alto-march-of-death @newfriendjen @shrimpypenis @tenyafacesquish @mkkhaikyuu

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soldouthaz · 3 years

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hey all! it’s nearly the end of the year now and it’s time to finish the list of my favorite 2020 fics! (you can find part i of this rec here !) I can’t thank these authors and anyone else who published things this year enough. it’s been many long months where a distraction was much needed, and we got such amazing content for FREE. being able to escape into another world for even just a few minutes right now is priceless.

to everyone who wrote something, read something, or simply made it through this year, kudos to you! wishing everyone a much more relaxing 2021 with even more amazing fics to come. :) thank you guys for everything – happy holidays & new year, and happy reading!

there were so many good ones out this year and there’s no way I can include all of them, but I enjoyed so many more than just the ones on this list! the ones I picked just stood out to me for some reason based on how I was feeling or what I was going through at the time, and they all helped me in some way or another. :) not to mention, I am sooo behind on recent fics and most of the blff, so I will be making more recs slowly into the new year as well!

quick disclaimer! as with every time I put these together, this list is based on my own opinions and features a variety of different kinds of fics and tropes. I include the info next to them for a reason! please stick to your own preferences and leave any hate out of your choices. that being said, if you enjoy any of these, please leave the author a kudos, comment, or send them a message to let them know you liked it!

okay, in no particular order!:

a place with skeletons by @crazyupsetter / whoknows   E | 50k | b!L | veela!Louis

“I would choose anyone other than you,” Louis says, picking up his train of thought again. He feels a lot more cornered and defensive when they’re in Harry’s house, for some reason.

It doesn’t really make sense, considering that this time, Louis was the one who couldn’t hack it any longer. He broke first. There’s something about being in Harry’s space, though, the green and earthy feeling of it. It should feel like open space with all the plants, but Louis has never felt more claustrophobic than he does when he’s here. Harry’s chest moves against his back, a sharp intake of air.

Before he can open his mouth to defend himself, Louis keeps going, “If I had a choice in any of this, I would have been saved by that elderly security guard over you. I wouldn’t mind having to have the occasional cuddle with her.”

even the best laid plans by @falsegoodnight  E | 25k | b!L | uni au

Louis wants to have sex with someone and decides Harry is the perfect alpha for the job.

runaway darling by @solvetheminourdreams  E | 26k | no smut | wedding au

An AU where Louis hates weddings, Harry loves them, and together they help a bride skip hers.

three days in february by @mercurial-madhouse / writing_practice   E | 187k | b!L | magical realism

Louis is cursed after a night out with the lads and the five have just three days to figure out what happened and how to break it before Harry and Louis both lose their sanity and maybe something more. Louis can hear everything Harry thinks and Harry isn’t sure he can keep his feelings for Louis a secret from his own mind.

a springtime’s wilt, an autumn’s bloom by snowcaplou E | 20k | b!L | abo

Harry is Louis' personal chauffeur, and although he hides his feelings for his boss behind a wall of rigid professionalism, Louis still manages to squeeze through the cracks.

just a flicker in the dark by @falsegoodnight   E | 57k | b!L | witch!Louis

Louis is a struggling witch desperate to prove himself after yet another magic disaster and finds a calling in the haunted house of client Niall Horan. Things get more complicated when he’s assigned a case partner: acclaimed medium and ex-boyfriend, Harry Styles.

terror of surrender by @loubellies  E | 31k | b!L | yoga instructor!H

Louis is a recent divorcee with a new favorite yoga teacher, Harry.

loving you’s a bloodsport by @rosesau  M | 106k | no graphic smut | royalty au

harry is a bratty prince, louis is a guard who works in his palace, and niall is the only one who’s got his life in control.

spoonful of sugar by @zanniscaramouche (check out this part too!)  E | 43k | b!L | mob boss!Harry

Louis Tomlinson cares for his family above all else, a fact that’s led him on a twisted path peddling drugs to support them. Just as he’s made the decision to jump ship, Louis gets snared between the two largest crime syndicates in the city. To keep his family safe he’s forced to trust the man that failed to keep his promise two years ago, the resident drug lord he’s unknowingly been working for, Harry Styles.

quiet people have the loudest minds by @2tiedships2  M | 38k | referenced b!L | abo

The one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

works like a charm by @falsegoodnight  E | 18k | b!L | Hogwarts au

Ever since Louis joined the team in fifth year, a few facts have become set in stone.

One: Louis is the best chaser in Hogwarts.

Two: Harry is the best beater in Hogwarts.

Three: They do not get along.

So it’s really unfair of Liam to think that forcing them to spend time together as Louis recovers from his injury will make them the best of friends. The last thing Louis would do is get along with that git.

show you the stars in the daylight by @yvesaintlourent / bruisedhoney  E | 13k | b!L | friends to lovers

The one where Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawy, it’s definitely not his best friend’s little brother Harry…ten years later, he changes his mind.

in a sea of mist by @tomlinvelvetfics  E | 126k | b!L | mythology au

A Greek Mythology/Camp Half-Blood AU where Harry is lost, the road to peace is a wretched one, and somehow, through a mist of confusion and regrets, Louis seems to be the only thing that makes sense and everything Harry needs.

confessions of a fabricated alpha by @jaerie  E | 18k | b!H/b!L mention | abo

famous alpha Harry Styles has a secret and paying an alpha to roleplay a relationship with him over the phone is the only way he can be himself.

take my whole life too by @goodmorninglou  E | 24k | b!L | d/s elements | WIP

Louis knows three things, at the base of it all.

He likes when Harry hurts him. He doesn’t know why, not really, but he knows that he likes it. Likes giving up control, likes feeling small and taken care of, likes being praised for taking whatever Harry gives him for as long as he gives it. He and Harry are meant to be. No matter what time they finally fall together, what day, what age, what place, the moment that they do, that’ll be it. It’s going to be them against everyone else, hand in hand for the rest of their lives. That’s been a given since they met. The half of Louis’ soul that’s missing is Harry’s.

And, sans those two things, he doesn’t really know much of anything at all.

sweet like honey by @falsegoodnight  E | 33k | b!L | amateur porn au

Harry and Louis need money and they find an unconventional solution in the form of PornHub. It’s not supposed to be a big deal.

a few rereads posted from before this year that I enjoyed again!

the case of the (definitely not haunted) styles mansion by briamaria  E | 40k | b!H | nancy drew au

the Nancy Drew AU where Marcel is a man of logic, Louis is a private detective who believes in ghosts, and the Styles Mansion is definitely, absolutely, positively *not* haunted.

canyon moon by @eeveelou  E | 40k | b!L | abo

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry. Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

lemon eyes by @turnyourankle  E | 50k | b!H | abo

It’s not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn’t give a damn what’s proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he’s concerned, the right alpha won’t care, and he’ll have some fun on the way. And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus?

all this delusion in our heads by snowcaplou   E | 15k | b!L | exes to lovers

After Harry and Louis break up, they cope with it in very different ways. What will happen when Harry keeps calling his ex over when things go wrong in his life, but Louis just can’t take it anymore?

the way the storms blow by @rbbsbb  E | 21k | b!L | roommates au

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes.

Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way. Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

and a few more recs from some other fandoms for anyone who might be interested! (feel free to rec me some more if you know of any!)

burning the ground by lq_traintracks (drarry)  E | 10k | b!draco | abo

“Strap him down,” someone said, and Harry felt the rage thicken inside him – the viscous fear. Magical bindings pulled taut around his wrists … He felt a wand touch his arm and then a sharp bite as something punctured the skin, and a sweet, cool tonic rushed his veins. His breathing slowed. His eyelids drooped. The ceiling went grey and dark. And then he heard a woman’s voice sigh, “Someone, get Healer Malfoy.”

every step you take by nokomis (sterek)   E | 50k | light b!Stiles | abo

Stiles accidentally ends up magically bound to Derek. It’s super.

alright, I think that’s it for this rec! as always, please let me know if i’ve tagged anything incorrectly or if you’d like to be untagged from something!

and like I said before, I am wayyy behind on reading for these last few months and I need to catch up. when I do, I’ll definitely make some more recs into the new year!

I just want to say another thank you to anyone who wrote or read or created or just existed this year. it’s been hard on us all but having this outlet definitely made it easier. I can’t wait to see what else is published next year! happy reading everyone, and happy new year! :)

#okay trying to post this for the second time around!#fingers crossed!#y'all let me know if anything is messed up please!#fic recs #my fic recs #about me #2020

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onyxiana-is-obsessed · 4 years

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Doubt | Tamaki Amajiki x Reader | Soulmate AU

AN: Hiya! This was a server prompt for the server I’m in! I got Tamaki, so here we go! Here is the main master list for the other characters!

Part 2!! Part 3!!

Pronouns used: They/them Length: 4.9k words

Summary: Everyone in the world has a soulmate and Tamaki Amajiki is no different. The thing is, he’s terrified to meet or talk to his soulmate because he’s scared they could a villain. That is... until he’s finally able to talk to you.

Full Name: (y/f/n) Quirk: (y/q) Age: 18

Every single person in the world has a soulmate. A predetermined pair, courtesy of the universe. Soulmates had a link, a way to communicate with each other. At the age of 18, anything someone wrote on their body would appear on their soulmate’s body, in the exact same spot.

Tamaki Amajiki knew he had a soulmate, someone bound to him for life. He just couldn’t believe that could be the case. Fated pairs were a scary thing due to the limited amount of knowledge surrounding the concept. No one knew why this weird ability existed, no one knew how these pairs were determined, and whether or not there was a person doing this.

Tamaki always feared who his soulmate would be. One of the main fears was if they’d be a villain. What would he do? Every single fated pair fell in love the second they saw each other. What if Tamaki’s other half was a villain? How could he, a hero, fall in love with the enemy?

As his 18th birthday drew closer, Tamaki felt panic and anxiety rather than excitement. Both Mirio and Nejire did their best to convince him his other half wouldn’t be a villain, but how could they be so sure?

“Come on, Tamaki, it’ll be ok!” Mirio smiled. “I highly doubt your soulmate could be a villain! I bet they’re someone awesome with an amazing quirk!”

“Mirio… you’re too loud.” Tamaki muttered, stuffing his face into his arms that laid on his desk. His 18th birthday was just a few days away and then he’d have to face his soulmate.

“Oh hey, you could be worrying for no reason,” Nejire suggested, her legs swinging back and forth on the desk. “Maybe they’re only 16 or 17. You wouldn’t be able to talk to them then.”

“Huh,” Mirio said, “I didn’t even think about that. She’s got a good point.”

“What if they are over 18?” Tamaki argued, turning his head up toward them. “What if they’re like 20?”

“Well…” Nejire giggled sheepishly. “Then you’ll be talking to them! Imagine, Amajiki! What if they’re some awesome celebrity!”

“Or a super cool hero? Maybe from another country?” Mirio added. Tamaki tried his best to let them ease his worries, but no one could drown out that little voice in the back of his head. This was all speculation. They could be wrong.

***

Tamaki sighed as he looked at the clock on his nightstand. 11:43 pm on March 3rd. 17 minutes until he turned 18. He already had his pen ready and he’d decided where he’d write his little message. His mind was in a flurry of emotions, he wasn’t sure if he was excited or not. Well, he was, to an extent, but he was also scared- no, terrified.

What if they didn’t like him? What if his shyness and anxiety was too much for them? What about him? What if they were loud and mean like that Bakugou fellow? What if they were blunt and less understanding of his anxiety? He couldn’t handle that! There’s no way.

11:53 pm.

Mirio and Nejire had offered to stay with him but he declined, wanting to be alone. Both of them reminded him multiple times that they would be completely ok with him coming to their rooms for any reason.

11:54 pm.

Tamaki’s hands rubbed his cheeks as he tried his best to calm down. His eyes kept returning to his little clock and it almost felt as if time was moving slower. His desperate need to talk to his love equally matched his need to run and hide from them, which didn’t even make sense!

“Coward…” He mumbled to himself as he fell back on his bed. His indigo eyes stared up at the ceiling and for once, he attempted to think positive thoughts about his fated lover, or at least, force himself to.

They could be like Mirio, a bright ball of sun who would be there to support him, always encouraging him no matter what the situation. Someone who would wrap their arms around him and whisper comforting words in his ears during his panic attacks or just when the world got too much to handle. Someone who could love someone like him unconditionally.

Tamaki jumped slightly when his phone rang, indicating he’d gotten a text. He picked it up and stared at it. He’d gotten 2 texts, one from Mirio and another from Nejire. Both of them said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” with a million emojis. Right as Tamaki was about to respond, he felt his blood run cold, numbing him as the realization of what would occur now filled him.

18. He was 18 now. Shakily, Tamaki grabbed his pen and gingerly pulled back his sleeve, finding the perfect spot to write his greeting.

Hello

Tamaki waited patiently for a reply. He thanked both Mirio and Nejire, who wanted to know if his soulmate responded, to which he said no.

Five minutes went by, then ten, then 20. But he received no response. Tamaki frowned, falling on the bed again. Shouldn’t he be happy? He didn’t want to talk to his soulmate. He was too scared to face them. That wasn’t true, deep down, Tamaki was desperate to talk to his soulmate. He needed to talk to them, to know exactly who they were. Guess that wasn’t happening tonight.

Without saying much to his friends, Tamaki turned off his lights and tried to sleep. He stared into the darkness, that dreadful feeling building up in the pit of his stomach. The feeling was overwhelming, especially when he came to the realization that he’d need to wait longer for the identity of his lifelong partner. It made him feel trapped and none of these overpowering emotions helped the tears that slid down his cheeks that night. What a great way to start his birthday.

***

Tamaki’s indigo eyes fluttered open, slowly adjusting to the brightness in his room. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking at the clock next to him. 6:32 am. He quickly got up and went to the bathroom to get ready for school.

Tamaki quickly took a shower and brushed his teeth. As he walked out to his room, he took off his shirt, walking to his closet to grab his uniform. He froze when he saw his wrist.

Happy birthday, love

They… responded!? Tamaki scrambled to find his pen, cursing when he failed to. He grabbed his backpack, quickly fishing out a pen and wrote his message underneath.

Good morning

Tamaki impatiently waited, hoping he’d be able to talk to his soulmate right now. He felt an odd tingling sensation on his wrist as he watched the letters slowly appear.

Good morning! How did you sleep?

Tamaki sat on his bed, shakily writing out his response.

Good, you? And thank you

I slept well! Sorry I responded late; I was a little busy! I’m so happy I finally get to talk you <3

How old are you? Did you wait long?

I turned 18 on (birthday)! Gosh, I was so nervous! What’s your name?

Tamaki debated whether he wanted to reveal his identity. What if they were a villain? It… didn’t matter. Tamaki felt something weird in his chest. He felt comfortable and happy now that he’d been able to talk to them. That anxious feeling he had was no longer there, almost as if it never was.

Tamaki Amajiki. Yours?

(Y/f/n)! That’s a super cute name

Tamaki’s face turned red at the compliment as their name swirled around in his head. (F/n). It was cute. He really liked it.

“(F/n)... it’s nice to meet you.”

“No way! Let me see!” Nejire said, yanking Tamaki’s arm.

“H-Hado! W-wait!” She pouted as he held his arm close to his chest. He unbuttoned his jacket and slid it off, letting his arm sit on the desk. Both Nejire and Mirio leaned in to read what they’d said.

“Wow! I’m so happy for you Tamaki!” Mirio smiled. “When do you plan to meet (f/n)?” Tamaki looked away. Wait… meeting already? Hold on! No one said anything about meeting anybody!

You’re still in school, right? What school do you go to?

Nejire read the message aloud before handing Tamaki a purple pen, which he thanked her for and wrote out his response.

I go to UA

No way! That’s awesome! Congrats on getting in! What course?

Hero

Omg! Omg! Omg! My soulmate’s a hero!!!!!

Both Nejire and Mirio chuckled at their response while Tamaki’s face turned a bright red. He immediately stood in front of a wall, holding his wrist against his chest.

“Guess they’re not a villain after all.” Nejire giggled. Sure, (f/n) could be lying to them and pretending to be an innocent civilian… but it felt different. Before, when Tamaki thought about his soulmate, he was so hesitant, confused, and uneasy. But now, a simple thought of his soulmate… and all those thoughts of uncertainty were put to rest. He wasn’t scared, he wasn’t uncomfortable, he wasn’t uneasy. He was content and relieved.

Tamaki felt his wrist tingle again, making his eyes move to the writing. He noticed how… adorable their writing was. The way the E’s curved, the way they wrote their T’s, the way some letters were connected and others weren’t.

You’re not in hero school? Tamaki wrote down, his head still against the cold wall.

‘Not really. My quirk’s (y/q), it’s not the worst with fighting villains, but I just don’t think I have it in me to be a hero’ After the words appeared on his skin, he watched as the others started to disappear. They must’ve been washing their arm to make more room for more writing.

“D-Do you g-guys have a wi-wipe?” Tamaki asked, turning to them. Nejire smiled, grabbing her back.

“Need to clean off the writing?” She asked, reaching into her bag. As she handed him a small wipe, Tamaki quietly thanked her, applying it to his arm. He cleared off most of the writing, while some remained as illegible smudges. “Here, keep it.” Nejire smiled, holding out the entire pack.

“Thanks.”

‘That’s an interesting quirk, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it.’

‘Wow, I surprised a hero! That’s a point for me.’ They quickly responded. ‘HEY! We should meet! I work at (workplace). You should totally come by! ‘ Tamaki’s anxiety spiked at the thought of meeting his soulmate. That calm, serene feeling fled almost immediately and he clenched his fists. No way. That was too much!

‘Maybe’ he responded, pulling his sleeve down, not bothering to see his soulmate’s reply. He felt the tingling, but ignored it, returning to his seat when the teacher came in. Tamaki felt awful, but there was no way he could meet his soulmate, just the thought of it was too much to handle.

Throughout the class period, Tamaki felt his arm tingle a couple of times, but he didn’t look to see what his soulmate wrote. He couldn’t.

“I’ll look for you, if you want!” Nejire chirped, while munching on her apple. All morning, Tamaki had ignored his soulmate in fear of seeing their response, however, at the same time he was desperate to see what they said.

“O-ok.” He said, holding his arm out. Nejire gently rolled his sleeve up and smiled at the response.

“Look, Amajiki!” He looked down at his arm, his indigo eyes widening a bit at the letters sprawled on his wrist.

‘Oh! I understand, it’s too much! We can wait!’

‘Why aren’t you responding?’

‘Are you upset?’

‘Oh! Duh! You have class! Have a good day, love’ Tamaki immediately searched for a pen, which was halted when Mirio held one out of him.

“Here.” He smiled.

“Thanks.” Tamaki took the cap off and began to write out his reply.

‘Yes, I’m sorry. I had class. Thanks for understanding.’

‘No problem, love!’

“I think it’s adorable how (l/n) keeps calling you love!” Nejire said, dreamily. She placed her hands on her cheeks and looked away. “How romantic!” Tamaki’s ears turned red and he covered his face.

“C-c-calm d-down!” However, he couldn’t help the smile that took over his lips at the thought of his soulmate. They were already understanding and caring. He wondered why he was so worried in the first place.

~**~

It had been a little over a month since (f/n) had started talking with their soulmate. They were a bit upset that he still didn’t want to meet up. Of course, they were willing to give him as much time as he needed, but it still hurt. Was there something wrong with them? Was Tamaki unhappy with his soulmate not being a hero? Probably, he was training to be one, so he’d need someone of his caliber standing at his side.

(f/n) frowned, sitting on the dinner table with their family. They were quiet throughout the entire dinner, staring at their clean arm. Tamaki was busy today, so they hadn’t been able to talk at all. (f/n) missed him. A lot more than they thought was possible.

“So, how are you and your soulmate getting along?” (m/n) asked, making (f/n) look up and smile.

“Good, we’re doing good.”

“Do you planning on meeting?” (d/n). (f/n) looked down at the plate of food in front of them at the question. Were they? So far, (f/n) was sure they weren’t.

“I… no.” (f/n) answered, taking a bite of their food.

“Why not?” (m/n) inquired, taking a sip of their drink. (f/n) shrugged, unsure of how to explain their situation.

“He’s got anxiety, so I think it’s just too difficult for him to meet me. I… I’m ok with it. I’ll wait until he’s comfortable.”

“Do you guys know what each other look like? Do you still talk through your skin? Are you friends on social media?” (d/n) asked, looking over at the clearly upset (f/n).

“No, yes, no.” (f/n) answered rather bluntly. “He just needs time. Besides, he’s really busy. He’s a hero in training, you know.” (f/n) informed.

“Oh? That’s awesome! What’s his hero name?” (f/n) frowned at the question again.

“H-he was too shy to tell me.”

“He’s not lying is he?” (m/n) asked, genuinely concerned. “I don’t mean for that to sound rude or anything, but… I worry about you, love.”

“I trust him,” (f/n) said. “I… trust him.” Dinner didn’t last long. (f/n) wasn’t able to eat anything, so instead, they chose to eat at another time. They went upstairs to their room, where they grabbed their pen and wrote out a short message.

‘Hope your patrol is going well! Stay safe, love! ‘ Sighing, (f/n) sat at their desk and started working on their homework for (college course). It was a good distraction because about two and a half hours had passed and (f/n) was exhausted enough to go to bed. They quickly changed into their pjs and got into bed, taking another look at their arm. Nothing. Not a damn thing. (f/n) desperately tried to keep their emotions under control, not wanting to cry for no reason. Stupid emotions.

Tamaki abruptly stopped, placing a hand on his chest. He felt an inconsolable sorrow deep in his heart. He looked around, thinking it could be a villain’s quirk.

“What’s wrong, Suneater?” Fat Gum asked, looking back at him. Unable to really respond, he just looked up at his mentor, a frown on his face. “Suneater?”

~**~

(f/n) smiled at their coworkers as they walked into their workplace. Walking to the elevator, they took it to the third highest floor, which was the 23rd floor. They were greeted by their coworker as they stepped out of the elevator and went to their office to start the day.

For the first hour, everything was rather uneventful, (f/n) found themselves getting lost in their work, when they suddenly felt the building shake with such force, followed by a thunderous explosion. (f/n) frantically looked around, the atmosphere becoming tense as everyone looked at each other. Panic surged through the room, catching everyone off guard with a second explosion, another following right after, making the building shake once more.

“IT’S A VILLAIN ATTACK!” Someone yelled, causing fear to surge through them all. Everyone started to run towards the stairs in an attempt to get downstairs to get out of the building and far away from the scene.

(f/n) screamed as they were shoved down to the floor by the swarming crowd. There was another explosion, much closer to the room everyone was in. They pushed themselves to stand and try to escape, but as everyone ran across the large floor, it started to collapse. Slowly crumbling and falling apart, the group was separated, (f/n) being one of the few still stuck far away from the door. The remainder ran back towards the walls in an attempt to find some stable flooring.

The floor beneath (f/n) started to give in and break apart, they attempted to leap towards one of the more stable spots on the floor. But before they could even attempt to jump, they fell through.

“(L/N)!” Their friends screamed, trying to reach out and catch them, but they were too late. (f/n) shrieked as they fell through the floor. Unfortunately, the next two floors had also broken apart, which meant (f/n) was going to plummet at least twenty feet more! As a last ditch effort to save themselves, they quickly activated their quirk in an attempt to break their fall somehow.

(f/n) landed on a broken column but wasn’t able to grab onto anything, causing them to slip and fall onto a block of concrete, then roll and slam into the ground on their side. A loud groan escaped their lips as they pushed themselves to stand.

An intense pain shot through their spine, making them fall to their knees, with a yelp escaping their lips. Their head was spinning, they felt nauseous, and when looking down, they could see bruises already starting to form and splotches of blood leaking through their now dirty clothing.

“RUN! (F/N) YOU HAVE TO RUN!” (f/n) looked around, but the doors were blocked off with rubble.

“I-I c-can’t!” They yelled back. “I-I can’t…” (f/n) fell to the floor, leaning against a piece of concrete as pain shot throughout their battered body.

***

“Suneater! Let’s go!” Fat Gum yelled, interrupting Tamaki, whose mind was on his food. “There’s an attack nearby at (workplace)!” Tamaki’s heart sank as fear filled his being. His… soulmate was there. His (f/n) worked there! Without another word, Tamaki quickly followed Fat Gum and the others to the scene of the crime, determined to save his other half.

Fat Gum was right, (f/n)’s workplace was ten minutes away from where they were. When they got there, their eyes widened in horror. Multiple parts of the building were blown apart, smoke emitting from the destroyed sections. People had gathered outside, a distance away, making it difficult for the heroes to get through.

“There’s still people in there!” Someone yelled when they noted the multiple heroes behind the large group.

“Get out of here! Get away!” Fat Gum yelled, then looked down at Tamaki who grabbed his arm.

“M-My soulmate’s in there! I-I have to get them!”

“Where?”

“I don’t know.” Fat Gum could see the fear and panic swirling in Tamaki’s eyes and took him by the shoulders.

“It’s ok. Come on, let’s save them.”

***

“Uh… wh-what the hell…” (f/n) stuttered as loud cracking echoed through the room. “N-no way!” They looked around and saw more cracks appearing on the floor. Their eyes scanned the room in an attempt to find anything to grab onto or use to not fall through, but there was nothing. Everything was just rubble, the previous two ceilings had broken through, destroying everything in the room.

Still, unwilling to give up, (f/n) crawled to the corner of the room, hoping the floor would be a bit more stable there. The cracks got louder and louder, making tears spring to their eyes.

“I-I don’t kn-know what to do… Tamaki…” they whispered, “Help me. I’m scared.” Finally the floor collapsed, making everything around (f/n) start to fall apart, including the wall they leaned against. They stood up, pain shooting through their body as the floor broke once again. (f/n) quickly grabbed onto a large piece of concrete and held on tightly as it plummeted through the next floor. A scream escaped their lips as the concrete broke apart on impact. (f/n)’s body slammed onto the ground causing them to scream out even louder. After a few moments of not moving, they pushed themselves to sit up and looked around.

Movement had become impossible at this point, making them fall onto their back. Their glossy eyes stared up at the ceiling, tears sliding down the sides of their face as a sob escaped their lips.

“Dammit…” (f/n) mumbled and coughed due to all the dust around the room. The exits were still blocked, but this time there was a large window to the left. It didn’t matter much, (f/n) couldn’t move, no matter how much they willed their body. They weren’t made like heroes were, (f/n) couldn’t shrug off the hits their body had taken. “T-Tamaki… p-please fi-find me…”

(f/n) tilted their head to the side, in an attempt to find something, anything. How would they look with a hero as a soulmate, but they died without fighting. By pure, utter luck, they spotted a pen not too far away. Their eyes widened and they tried to stand, but the pain that shot through their body stopped them.

“N-No…” They mumbled as they rolled over onto their stomach, a scream erupting from their lips at the sheer, intense pain. (f/n) knew something was horribly wrong, but they didn’t even want to think about the injuries right now. Forcing themselves to crawl, they slowly- at the pace of a snail- inched towards the pen.

After a few minutes, they reached out and snatched the pen off the ground, tearing off the cap and immediately writing on their palm.

HELP

Tamaki felt the tingling sensation and his eyes shot down to his palm. He saw the message and grabbed Fat Gum’s arm.

“P-Pen! I-I need a pen!” He exclaimed, looking up at his mentor, who looked at him confused.

“I don’t have a pen, Suneater,” He looked at the other heroes. “Do you have a pen?!” They looked at him with a confused expression.

“No?!” One of them yelled back.

“I-I have a pen!” A civilian yelled, reaching into her purse. Tamaki ran to her, giving her a moment to find it. He took it from her, writing underneath it.

Where are you?

Not sure. Hurt. Help.

I can’t find you like that.

Near 20th floor, by large window

Tamaki’s heart clenched as (f/n) slowly wrote out their answer. Their writing was messy and short, a clear indication of their current situation. His indigo eyes shot to the top of the building, as he desperately tried to find their room. But before anyone could do anything, the building started creaking and leaning backwards.

“W-what?”

“THE BUILDING’S GONNA FALL! HAWKS!” Fat Gum screamed out as the said hero rapidly used his feathers to gather as many people as he could in the area he was currently. (f/n)’s eyes widened as they felt the building tilt, their body slid against the dirty floor, hitting the slab of concrete they had fallen with.

“He won’t get there in time…” Tamaki muttered, almost feeling wrong saying that of the fastest hero. “B-But I-I don’t know where they are.”

“Go!” Fat Gum commanded as he tried to help more civilians escape. “GO!” Large, feathery, white wings sprouted from Tamaki’s back and he quickly flew up to the 20th floor. His eyes quickly looked through all the windows and he was shocked at the debris he saw inside. Where was (f/n)?

The building started to fall and (f/n) closed their eyes, ready to accept their fate. They tried, they tried to contact Tamaki and no doubt he tried to find them. It just… wasn’t meant to be.

Tamaki darted in between all the window’s stopping when he saw a figure leaning against concrete, their back to him. The building was already falling and he had no way to get to (f/n). He used his tentacles, which immediately shattered the thick window between him and (f/n).

(f/n)’s eyes shot open and they turned their head, seeing large, purple objects shooting towards them. Their arms came up to protect their heads, but the large tentacles wrapped around their torso as their body slipped in between the gap of the shattered window.

Wide, terrified (e/c) eyes watched as the building fell and collapsed onto the ground below, tearing apart the road and the other buildings it landed on. The back of (f/n)’s hand landed on their mouth as tears spilled from their eyes. The damage was awful and frightening, but they felt relief wash over their body as arms wrapped around their torso.

“I got you.” They heard a deep male voice behind them. Tamaki quickly turned (f/n) so that he was able to hold them up in bridal style, wanting to make sure he wasn’t going to drop them. “You’re ok,” he soothed as he slowly moved towards the ground. “Everything’s ok. You’ll be just fine.” (f/n) was silent, their eyes landing on the hero saving them.

Suneater. That was Suneater, a student hero they’d seen plenty of times on the news. He was the shy type, he got easily embarrassed and scared when it came to cameras or big crowds.

“Suneater…” (f/n) whispered, making his eyes widen. He felt an odd sensation flow through him as his indigo eyes met their glossy (e/c) ones. He caught sight of something on their wrist... words?

No way.

“... (f-f/n)?”

“Tamaki?” His feet touched the ground and he immediately hugged (f/n) tightly, holding them close to him as his own nerves started to calm.

“I was so scared,” he said, his hands raking through their hair to calm them down. “I’m so glad you’re ok.” Their arms wrapped around his torso and they buried their face in his chest. They were silent for a moment, before (f/n) broke it.

“Y-You really smell like food.” His cheeks flushed red and he looked away, pointing to the pouches on his chest.

“Th-there’s f-food in here. For m-my quirk.”

“Right, manifest. It’s amazing… you’re amazing. Thank you for saving me, Suneater.” His cheeks were now a darker shade of red but he smiled regardless.

~**~

“Tama! Here!” (f/n) happily waved from the small booth they sat in. It had been a few days since the incident and they’d been meeting up pretty much every single day, whenever they had gotten the chance to. The day of the rescue, (f/n) spent at the hospital before Recovery Girl was brought in for healing most of the injured, including themselves. That day, Tamaki had visited them and had continued to meet up with them since.

Tamaki walked over to (f/n)’s booth and slid into the seat in front of them. (f/n) immediately reached out and took his hand, holding it tightly.

“How are you?” He asked.

“I’m good, feeling much better.” They responded, taking a sip of their favorite drink. “I missed you.”

“I m-missed you t-too.” He answered, getting shy again. Though the two hadn’t spent too much time together physically, they felt the natural attraction between them, thanks to that soulmate connection, but also the entire month they’d been communicating with each other. Their personalities melded well together and they felt an overwhelming amount of comfort by just being with each other.

Moments like that truly made Tamaki wonder why he was so scared to begin with. Sure, his fears of his partner being a villain were valid, plenty of heroes had to deal with that. However, he did feel a bit bad for judging (f/n) the way he had. He’d apologized a couple days back and they’d confirmed feeling the same way, which is one of the reasons why they were so happy to find out Tamaki was in the hero course.

“Wanna go on a date today? Like not here, but somewhere else.” He nodded, his large hand gently squeezing (f/n)’s.

“Sure. Wh-where?”

“Wherever you want. I just want to spend time with you.” Tamaki blushed at (f/n)’s statement, but he couldn’t help the smile that graced his soft features. Lifting their hand up, he pressed a gentle kiss on it.

“Anything for you, my love.” Now it was (f/n)’s turn to blush, he’d finally used the term of endearment they’d been using for him this whole time. Unable to handle it anymore, (f/n) moved to sit next to him, then pressed their lips against his warm and soft ones. Tamaki’s eyes widened and a violent blush spread to his cheeks, but he closed his eyes, melting against (f/n)’s touch. Their lips gently and slowly moved against each other and they were a perfect match, like two puzzle pieces.

Every single person in the world was bound to another through some magical, unknown force. A predetermined pair all thanks to the universe. No matter what anyone thought, no matter how much someone thinks they and their soulmate are incompatible, that just wasn’t the case. Their soulmate was theirs until the end of their time. Much like Tamaki and (f/n).

#mha #mha imagines #mha tamaki #mha tamaki amajiki #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha tamaki #bnha tamaki amajiki #tamaki amajiki #tamaki amajiki x reader #tamaki x reader #mha amajiki #bnha amajiki #amajiki x reader #soulmate au

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queenlists · 4 years

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Collision

Summary: Dean has put the reader through hell and soon enough became enough. The reader found herself with someone else..someone very close to Dean.

A/N: I finally finished the sequel to trainwreck done! If you haven’t read part one then click here. I hope you all are staying safe. I love you all and I appreciate all of the support! I really hope you enjoy this ✌ masterlist

Word Count: 1244

Post Date: 06/03/2020

SPN Tag List: @morguleth @yeolliedokai

“We were happy,”

“Dean, no!” I laughed out, holding my hands up in defense watching Dean stalk closer to me. A mischievous smirk crossed his face as he held up a piece of my birthday cake. “Do not do it!” I warned, backing up until I hit a hard body. I looked behind me to see a smiling Sam looking down at me “I’m sorry, Y/n,” Sam held me still. "No, no! Don't do this! Don't d-" my giggling plead was cut short as Dean smashed the cake in my face. Chuckles erupting from the brothers as Dean smeared the cake all over my body. “You guys are assholes!” I gasped, giggling and wiping the cake from my eyes. “Here,” Sam began to clean me up with a warm, wet washcloth. Dean leaned over, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek once Sam turned around, whispering “Happy birthday, beautiful” in my ear.

“I trusted him against my better judgement,”

“Your date left her clothes here. Lacey underwear? She must be a keeper, huh?” I joked as I sat down Sam’s freshly cleaned clothes on his dresser. “Huh?” Sam’s eye twitched as he watched me pull out a pair of underwear and a dress. “Those aren’t from me. Probably the chick Dean brought here a few nights ago,” “Huh?” my heart dropped to my stomach as Sam stood up and began to nonchalantly put his clothes away. “You didn’t see her. It was the weekend you went to chase down a lead. She was nice...and loud. Unnecessarily loud,” Sam grumbled, rolling his eyes “Thank you for doing laundry, Y/n" Sam looked at me with a dimpled smile.

Rushing into Dean’s room, I threw the clothes at him “You cheated on me?” Dean didn’t bother to look at the clothes before looking up at me “You really think I would cheat on you, Y/n?” “Well I don’t bring anyone here and Sam told me these belonged to the girl you brought over while I was away!” I grit my teeth as I shook my head at him in disbelief.

“If you don’t believe me then leave. Leave right now if you don’t believe me!” Dean raised his voice which startled me a little bit. “I-” I opened my mouth, but nothing came out as I stood there in shock. “Do you believe me?” Dean growled, stepping closer to me, his eyes peered down at me as he waited for my response.

The energy that rolled off of him wasn't the same as before, his voice as well as his gaze were both cold and sharp. A rare sense of fear washed over me as Dean towered over me. “I-I believe you,” I whimpered, staring at my boyfriend’s hard face. Dean's eyes searched mine. I had only seen this look whenever he was looking at a monster. Slowly, the sides of his mouth curled up into a smile before he pressed his lips against my forehead "Good girl,"

“I should have known because from that point on he just got worse. Now look at us,” I snorted, shaking my head. Sam’s fingers drew circles on my shoulder as he sighed “He didn’t deserve you. He doesn’t deserve you. You deserve a man not a boy,” I looked up at Sam who shot me a warm, genuine smile.

Sam’s POV

“We were happy..” Y/n has been venting about Dean since we both finished which was...hours ago, but I could listen to her all day. All day and every day. Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. I'd rather her confide in me versus drinking herself into oblivion. My brother didn’t deserve someone like Y/n. Since Dean was marked, he's done nothing but hurt people. I should have stepped in.

When we first met her, she was so quiet..so kind...so innocent. Despite the condition we found her in, her eyes were bright and her smile full of life. Hell she didn't even drink before meeting us.

“I’ve had a few sips here and there!” Y/n lifted her hands up in defense as she giggled. “You’re telling me that you never just drank a beer. Just something like this?” Dean lifted up his second beer bottle, his eyebrows raised. “Nope!” “Looks like we have a good girl over here that needs to be broken in,” Dean smirked before putting the glass bottle to his lip and guzzling the liquid down. Y/n chewed on her lip as she watched Dean drink, desperate for approval "I'll try one. I'll try to drink one and we will go from there,"

She drank one. One turned to two. Two to three. Three to four. Four to...

Vomit spewed out of Y/n's mouth into the toilet as I held her hair back "You don't have to drink. You don't have to do anything. You're pretty amazing as is," I smiled, watching the corners of Y/n's mouth turn up into a gentle smile. "Let's get you home," I slowly helped Y/n get back onto her feet. Her hand stayed in mine as she stumbled out of the bathroom, leading me through the bar and out the door.

I scanned the bar until I laid eyes on Dean, I glared as Y/n and I walked out of the bar. Before he became out of sight, Dean gave me the cockiest smirk I've seen in years. He knew what he was up to. Hell, I know what he was up to. I vowed to take care of her.

But I failed that.

“He didn’t deserve you. He doesn’t deserve you. You deserve a man not a boy,” I sighed, watching as Y/n slowly looked up at me. I couldn't help but to smile as my heart skipped a few beats.I stroked my thumb across Y/n's face, wiping away a stray tear as I stared into her mesmerizing (e/c) eyes. She crinkled up her nose as she smiled at me, her bright smile lighting the room up. I could lose myself in her forever.

Y/N'S POV

I never noticed how handsome Sam was. Well of course I noticed his appearance but not the way he made me feel. Not the way my stomach twisted into loose knots. The way a smile threatened to escape every time I looked at him while he looked at me. The way I felt: protected, secure, valid. I haven't felt valid in...in…

Tears filled my eyes as I searched for a specific moment I've recently felt valid, valued, safe. I swam in my thoughts, rushing around for one moment in the past few months that I've felt wholesome. One moment where I was touched with love and only love. One moment when my body was warmed by another and not a brown liquid.

Nothing.

There was nothing.

Nothing until now.

Tears spilling out of my eyes, I looked at Sam who's eyebrows were knitted together as he sat up with concern. "All this time," I whispered to myself as a smile peeked on my face. He was there. He was always there picking up the pieces that Dean shattered over and over again.

Without hesitation, I crashed my lips onto his soft lips. His fingers instantly tangled in my hair as he pulled me further on top of him, squeezing me against his body.

He was the one all along.

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misssunflowersandsangria · 3 years

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Please Have Snow and Mistletoe- Final Chapter

Merry Christmas my sweet deers! I hope that you’ve all had a wonderful holiday season or just a lovely Winter. I made it! Here we are at The End. It’s short and sweet. Enjoy! Summary: The Big Day

Chapter 5: Joyeux

Flashback

“Yes, mother we’ll be there soon. Yes, of course, she’s coming.”

“I didn’t want to tell you before because I knew you’d be a nag about it.”

“Yes, you did raise me better than that. I’m sorry.”

“We’ll be there soon, she’s excited to meet you.”

Shikamaru ended the call annoyed. His mother just couldn’t let things go. She managed to guilt-trip him into coming home earlier. Which he hadn’t done. There were more deals to close and projects to work on. That came with a price. When she demanded an explanation about why he wasn’t home yet his mouth began to spout lies about a girlfriend and conflicting schedules. Now he had to produce some female that could act like a doting girlfriend for just a few days. He had his assistant arrange a few “auditions” for him when he landed. He just needed to pick some un-troublesome women that could play along and keep his secret for a generous amount of money. It was deceitful and a little pathetic when he thought about it but there was little else he could do.

He left the airport lounge on the way to the tarmac where the private planes boarded. He’d heard the announcement about the weather cancellations and was thankful that he wasn’t flying commercial. He couldn’t delay going home any longer lest his mother come there and drag him home herself.

That’s when he saw her. Blonde, beautiful with a tinge of sadness and disappointment in her striking teal eyes. Her face continued to fall as the customer service representative explained that the flights were all canceled. She, like so many others, probably had grand plans to be home for the holidays. Why her disappointment mattered more to him than anyone else’s, he wasn’t sure.

“Excuse me.”

End flashback

“What’s wrong my darling? Did Santa not bring you what you wanted this year?” Karura asked her daughter with a worried smile.

“How can you tell?” Temari wondered. She thought that she’d gone through the motions quite well. Her family was excited to have her back home and had gone through the usual holiday activities. She was happy and thankful to be back home but her heart was still heavy, despite pieces of it missing. Left in the leaves, covered by the snow.

Her mother drew her in tight and kissed her forehead. “Your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes.” She had always told her that her eyes could never tell a lie.

Temari held onto her tight, Shikamaru’s stuffed deer that he’d hidden in her suitcase between them. She needed her mother’s comfort, hoping it could patch up the missing piece of her heart. “As powerful and magical as Santa is Mama, I don’t think that he can give me what I want this year.”

Karura gazed down at her daughter wishing that she could ease her heartache. “Well there’s still some Christmas left, amazing things can happen. And you my little Sand Storm deserve all the magic that it can give.”

“I have you and my brothers. I don’t need anything else.” It felt wrong lying to her mother.

“I’m not quite sure about that. Have some faith Temari. Especially today.”

Kankuro knocked on her door, interrupting the moment.

“Uhm Temari, there’s a guy outside in a fancy suit with a really expensive car looking for you. He seems a little too well dressed to be a hitman but uh I can try to get rid of him for you.”

Her heart began to beat rapidly, hope and warmth blossoming in her chest. “Did he give a name?”

“Shika something? I have Gaara keeping an eye on him.”

She stormed out of there to find him standing in the living room by their Christmas tree. Karura herded her sons away to give them some privacy.

“Shikamaru, what are you doing here?” She asked in disbelief that he was there.

“I shouldn’t have let you go the way that I did.”

His eyes were soft but thoughtful. “All my life I worked hard for what I wanted. Sacrificing time and relationships to acquire the things that I thought I needed to give my life meaning. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished but these last few days with you, well it showed me that there’s so much more.”

He stepped forward taking her shaky hands in his. “I kept trying to convince myself that this couldn’t be real. I'm not good with feelings. I’m rational, I plan. I could have never planned on you coming into my life. But I’ve never been more sure of anything. You and me together Tem. It just makes sense. I don’t need the presents, the snow, any of it. I just want you.”

His hand gently cupped her face, his thumb wiping away the stray tears that managed to escape her eyes.

“I want to keep playing with you in the snow till our fingers freeze. Have you teach me how to bake cookies. I want to take snowy walks to feed the deer, and to kiss you even when there’s no mistletoe. I want to share in and create even more traditions with you.”

She settled into his arms feeling her heart mend itself.

“This is absolutely crazy but if this year taught me anything it’s that life is unpredictable.” She gazed up at him, his soft brown eyes filled with love and joy for her.

“Shikamaru, you’re everything that I could have ever wished for. I don’t know if it was those long conversations where we’d talk about everything or the quiet moments that you just held me in your arms or if it really is just that we’re meant to be together. My heart is yours. I wanted so much for you to ask me to stay but I’m glad that you came to your senses. This is the best thing that you could have given me.”

She delighted in the warm kiss they shared. Thankful that this time she knew how they both felt. If he hadn’t followed her home she might have chased after him. Unable to imagine a life without him there.

When they separated he pulled her in tight layering kisses along her head. She was there in his arms again and it all felt right.

“So you must be Temari’s final Christmas gift.”

They looked up finding Karura standing there with a bright smile on her face.

“Sorry for interrupting. I’m Shikamaru. Your daughter is incredible and I just needed her to know that.” Temari blushed at the compliment and the amused look on her mother’s face.

“She really is, well we were just about to sit down for dinner so come on, there’s always room for one more.” Shikamaru was grateful to be welcomed to join with their traditions.

Temari took his hand in hers with an excited grin across her face. The new couple followed Karura into the dining room where Temari’s brothers were sitting tense and unsure.

Karura was kind and welcoming towards Shikamaru. She pushed her sons to be the same although they were more confused and worried about him.

Ice cold stares from Temari was enough to make them behave. This along with the additional gifts he’d had brought. By the end of the night, they warmed up to him and were closer to believing that he was good enough for their sister.

The food was eaten and the gifts exchanged. They called Shikaku and Yoshino to let them know that he made it. Amd to introduce them at least over the phone to her family. Numbers were exchanged and promises made to have combined family events in the future.

As the night came to a close, Shikamaru and Temari were dressed in another set of matching pajamas that he’d also given to her family. This set had a festive arrangement of cactuses to celebrate her home. She took him outside bundled up in blankets and jackets to gaze up at the desert night sky.

“This is kind of my own tradition. I’d come out here late Christmas night to look at the stars.”

He held her close as she described the different constellations. Content just to hear her voice.

Temari gazed at him, still amazed that he was there.

“So how did this all come about?”

“After you left my mom was inconsolable. I’d never seen her like that. Both of them were pretty annoyed that I hadn’t given you an engagement ring. Everything else was the same, but you weren’t there anymore. It felt empty and I couldn't handle the rest of my days being like that.”

He pulled her into a kiss, a simple reminder that she really was there.

“Nothing about how we left it felt right. I wanted so much to stop you from leaving or to follow you to the airport. I kept convincing myself that it just wasn’t possible. You don’t fall for someone that quickly. It’s pretty clear I’m a stubborn person. But with all the time we spent together, the conversations and experiences that we shared. How could I not fall for you? You’re my person.”

The whole time, he was falling right along with her.

Her fingers trailed over the watch she’d given him, remembering that fateful day. How different her day might be if it all hadn’t happened the way it did. How different her life would be.

She nestled herself into his arms sharing lazy loving kisses between them. “So what does tomorrow hold for us?”

With the bright lights of a million stars above them, her safe and warm in his arms, all was calm. And their futures bright.

“Everything.”

Please Have Snow and Mistletoe

Chapter 1: Flight XMAS

Chapter 2: A Scene from a Snowglobe

Chapter 3: Sweeter than a Sugar Plum

Chapter 4: A Christmas Poem

Chapter 5: Joyeux

Phew I can’t believe I wrote this in time. Also yes, Karura is there because I need more stories where the Sand Sibs have therir lovely mommy. You can imagine whatever you want for Rasa. I hope that you all enjoyed my Christmas gift to you! Writing and interacting with all you lovely readers has been my saving grace in such a crazy year. So you are all my gifts. Thank you for reading, all your love, and support and I hope that Santa brings you your own Shikamaru ;D I love you and see you in the new year!

#shikatema #shikatem #shikamaru x temari #naruto #naruto fanfiction #naruto fanfic #christmas fluff #holiday fluff #modern au #fake dating #home for the holidays #we got snow and mistletoe #christmas day #sangriaslips #sunflowerstalks #ill be home for christmas #all is calm #all is bright #merry christmas loves

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farfromtommy · 5 years

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the rest of our lives //chris evans x reader

A/N: wrote this bc I couldn't sleep. its almost 4am and im tired but felt like writing some cute shit tonight. I love this so much and sorry if it doesn't make sense and for the mistakes but I LOVE IT. pls give it some love .

Summary: chris and y/n visit her childhood home and tell her parents about their plans for the future

Warnings: angst, FLUFFFFFFFFFFFF, language I think, age gap but its not gross (chris 38, reader 22)

Word Count: 3,780

masterlist

With one final zip of your suitcase you were ready for your trip. You and your boyfriend of 2 years, Chris, were taking a couple days off to spend time with your parents. You hadn’t seen them since your college graduation and they had been bugging you for months for you and Chris to spend some time in your hometown.

You were currently living in Boston and had completely expected that you weren’t going back home following your completion of university. Your life was in Boston. Although you missed your parents and your sister, you were so ready to start this new chapter of your life and be able to make it your own.

You and Chris had been looking for a house together since you decided to stay in Boston with him. Your relationship was headed in a good direction and both of you were 100% in it for the long run. You wanted to wait till after you graduated to move in together, not wanting to worry about anything besides school. Chris had his realtor on the phone the minute your grades for your last semester had been finalized and everything was approved for graduation.

When you sat down with him and both said what you were looking for in a house, the topic of kids came up. You knew Chris wanted a family, and you did too. You had both agreed to bring the conversation up again after some time in the house together. You were secretly hoping he was planning on proposing to you soon. You’ve been dropping major hints at him through your Pinterest board ever since you started having serious conversations about your future with each other. You were ready for it all. You wanted to marry Chris and fill your beautiful new home with a bunch of kids.

You were also slowly convincing him to get Dodger a friend since both of you were always working, and you wanted to make sure he was never lonely when you were at work.

Your amazing realtor had found a beautiful house right outside of Boston that had everything you were both looking for. You were just waiting for the final pieces of paperwork to come in and finally be able to call the house yours.

Your lease on your apartment was up last month and had been staying at Chris’s place. All of the big things you didn’t sell from your place were in storage and everything else was with you.

When you had mentioned to your sister that you and Chris were days away from closing on your new home, she had asked how your parents felt about everything.

“They know our relationship is serious. They met him at graduation and had known about him well before that. Mom even talked about us having a fall wedding here, since the weather would be perfect. I haven’t told them about the house since we’ve known about this trip since everything with the house started. I want to tell them in person, so don’t mention anything to them.” You huffed.

“I talked to mom the other day and she thinks that you made a mistake staying there to be with Chris. She doesn’t think your relationship is going to last, since he’s so much older than you. Hell, that’s what everyone thinks. She’s just worried, I think.” She expressed.

“I’ve been hearing all of that for the past 2 years from everyone I know, especially from mom. Nobody knows our relationship better than we do. We both want the same things and are happy being together. So what if he’s older than me? Dad is way older than mom and no one questions the integrity of their relationship, why does everyone have to question mine?” I said back.

“I know. I know you keep hearing this, and I’m sorry. I’m really happy for you, Y/N. I really am. Buying a house together is a big deal and I’m glad you’re ready to do that with him. You have everything so figured out and people are just jealous. I mean, you have the hottest dude in Hollywood in your bed every night. Who wouldn’t be jealous of that?” She chuckled.

“Anyway, we’ll talk more when you get here! I’m so excited to see you. Call me when you land and I’ll meet you at home. Love you!! See you tomorrow.” The line clicked and you threw your phone onto your bed. You let out a deep sigh and moved your suitcase off of the bed so you could collapse.

You were slowly dozing off when you had heard Dodger starting to bark, alerting you that Chris was home. He had been doing some small indie films in Boston, not wanting to get back into major productions until you were settled in your new house. You picked yourself off your bed and walked into the living room, seeing Chris toe off his shoes and place his things down. He greeted Dodger and walked over to you, mumbling a quick hi and placed a quick kiss onto your lips.

“Hi my love, how was your day?” He asked as he walked into the kitchen. You took a seat on the barstool facing the kitchen, and watched as Chris started to look around for something to snack on.

“It was pretty good. Work was how it usually is. I came home early and got all my packing done for the trip and just cleaned a little bit around the house. I left some things you might want to pack out on the bed just incase. How was yours? Anything exciting happen on set?” You asked, leaning back on your chair.

“Wrapped up everything I needed to do so I could relax and enjoy the next couple of days without worrying about needing to get back to set.” He took a beer out of the fridge and leaned against the counter and took a drink from the bottle. “How are you feeling about seeing your parents and telling them about the house? You haven’t really said much about it.” He took another sip and walked closer to you.

He sat in the chair next to you and just looked at you, waiting for your response. You thought for a moment, collecting your thoughts before giving him an honest answer. You sighed and thought about the conversation you had with your sister.

“I’m excited to tell time, but really nervous. I talked to my sister earlier and she had told me that my mom has been having doubts about us and was just worried that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into and blah blah blah. But I’m ready to set everything straight and tell her that she can’t doubt us anymore. It’s important to us that we do this and she needs to be on board with that. I know she’ll be happy for us, but you know how she gets. I think dad will be happy for us. He really like you, y’know. Tells me all the time that I need to fly him up here so you two can go to a Pats game. Poor guy had a house full of women his entire life and now he finally has the son he always wanted.” You rambled slightly.

“Everything is gonna a work out, don’t be nervous. It’s 4 days with your parents and then we close on the house when we get back and should be moved in by the end of the next month. I know how important your family is to you and how much it means to to get their support on this, but you have so many other people who support you. You’re basically and Evans now and you have all of them standing behind us, cheering us on. Don’t worry too much on what might happen with them, but think about what’s happening with us now. Our life together is finally getting started.” He grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it before pulling you off the chair and moving you closer to him. You stood between his legs and wrapped your arms around him. His comment about you being an Evans filled your stomach with butterflies but you didn’t think much into it.

For the rest of the night you just sat on the couch watching movies and eating random snacks you had in the pantry, not bothering to cook something for dinner. You snuggled up next to Chris and Dodger was next to you as you stayed in the living room well into the night. You had fallen asleep on the couch and next thing you knew, you were being placed on your side of the bed and tucked in gently.

Chris placed a kiss on your forehead and moved some of your Y/H/C hair out of your face. You sleepily smiled at him before turning to your side and let sleep consume you. You heard shuffling around the room, assuming Chris was finishing any packing he had left. You woke when you felt the bed dip beside you and your were wrapped in a pair of strong arms. You moved closer to Chris and let sleep take over you once again.

It was late afternoon and you and Chris had landed safely in your hometown. You were driving down the street that was still so familiar to you. You saw your parent’s house come into full view as you instinctually turned a corner. You drew in a sharp breath as you put your rental car in park and stared up at your childhood home. You had spent so many years of your life here and it was so weird not seeing it as your home anymore. You looked over at Chris and he grabbed your hand and squeezed it. He grabbed some of his things and opened the car door and stepped out.

You walked up to the front door hand in hand and raised your hand up to ring the doorbell. Not even 5 seconds later your mom had answered the door and immediately wrapped you in a hug. She grabbed your shoulders and looked at you with joy. She brought you in for another hug before giving one to Chris.

“It’s good to see you again, Chris! How have things been going for you?” Your mom questioned, moving out of the way so you could walk inside.

“Everything has been going great, thank you! How have you and Y/D/N been?” Chris asked, looking at the beautiful house he walked into. He had never seen this place in person, just in pictures you had and through a phone whenever he was around when you video called your parents.

It was so elegantly decorated. Family photos littered the walls, he could pick you out of all of them. One of the things he had hoped he’d get a chance to see were photos from your childhood. You have been through every photo album the Evans family had created, thanks to his mom. You knew he was looking forward to those, so you had made sure your mom pulled them out of storage for him.

“Same old same old. We’ve been really looking forward to you guys coming to visit us. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made Y/D/N clean this house over the past week. Had to make sure everything was in tip top shape for your first visit.” She winked at Chris and looked back at you. You plopped down on the couch, exhausted from your hectic day.

“Thank you, Y/M/N. It’s really a beautiful house.” Chris said as he sat down next to you on the couch, putting his arm across the back of it. She nodded at him and went to go find your dad. You leaned into Chris’s side and he put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. He placed a kiss on the top of your head before continuing to take in his surroundings.

“Don’t fall asleep before giving your old man a hug!” Your dads voice said as he walked into the living room. You and Chris both stood up and you ran into your dads arms. You loved both of your parents, but you were always closer to your dad. He gave you a big hug, picking you up off the ground slightly and placed a kiss on your cheek. Chris walked up to him and extended his hand for a handshake once you were done greeting your dad.

“It’s great to see you! Glad you guys could take the time to make it out here.” Your dad said, shaking Chris’s hand and pulling him in for a “bro” hug.

“Me too. I’m excited to finally be here. I’ve heard a lot of stories and seen a lot of pictures of Y/N growing up here.” Chris said as everyone took a seat in the living room, the two of you going back to your original spots.

You all sat around the living room talking for a while, just catching up on everything that had been happening in your lives. Your dad and Chris started to get into sports talk and your mom motioned for you to go with her to the kitchen. You stood up from your spot, excusing yourself from the conversation you were no longer interested in and followed your mom. She poured you glass of wine, and then one for herself and told you to take it to the back porch while she got something for your dad and Chris. You sat down on one of the chairs and got comfortable, your mom joining you a few minutes later.

“So, how are things in Boston with Chris? We haven’t really talked much about it. After graduation we thought you were going to come back, and then you stayed and we were all kinda confused.” Your mom said taking a sip from her glass.

“Things are really great between us right now. Chris has been spending most of his time in Boston doing some small projects so I see him basically everyday. Work has been going super well, I’m loving every second of it. I know you guys were really disappointed when I didn’t come back, but my life is in Boston now. Chris is there and all my frien-“ You were saying before your mom cut you off.

“So Chris is your life now? Chris and work? What happened to family first? You were supposed to come home and help us out. We thought you were going to find your own place here and find a job and be able to be here for us. We were there for you all your life.” She criticized.

“Mom, I’m 22 years old. Don’t you think I’m old enough to start building my own life? Chris and I are building our future together and I couldn’t just leave and continue doing that from here. I wasn’t going to make him uproot his life up to follow me here just because you wanted me to. I’m sorry that you don’t agree with my decisions but I think I’m allowed to decide what I think is best for me.” You said back to her. She rolled her eyes at your response. Before she could say anything back your sister opened the door excitedly greeting you. You were relieved she was finally here to pull you out of the conversation that had taken a turn south between you and your mom.

You had gone inside with your sister and saw that she brought dinner for everyone. You went over to Chris and asked him to help you get your bags out of the car before you sat down for dinner. He had noticed your change in mood and quickly followed you outside. You quickly ranted to him about what your mom had said and blew off some steam before heading back inside with your things. Chris followed you up to your childhood bedroom, where you two would be staying for the next few nights. It was still the way you had left it. Pictures of your high school friends scattered around the walls, and posters of things you loved when you were in high school. Chris chuckled at some of them and you two headed back to the dining room.

Dinner had been going well, despite your moms discreet bashes at your life choices, you ignored them and continued to enjoy the rest of the meal. As everyone was finishing, you decided it was as good a time as any to bring up the big news.

“So mom and dad, you guys don’t know this but Chris and I have been talking a lot the past couple months about our future and where we see it going. Things between us have been getting serious for a long time, but we just put off pulling the trigger on anything until I finished school and found a good job. Now that I am done with school and found a really amazing job, we decided that it was time to start settling down and getting ready for the rest of our lives together. With that being said, when we get back home, we are closing on a beautiful house that we found. We bought a house and we’ll be moved into it by the end of next month.” You said looking to your parents, hoping to be able to read their expressions. Your sister had a smile on her face, already knowing the news.

Chris grabbed your hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. You shot him a small smile and looked back at your parents. Your mom had an unreadable expression. She seemed to be going through a lot of things in her mind as she processed everything you had just said. You looked at your dad, hoping to get a better reaction from him. He stood up from his chair and walked over to the space between you and Chris, and gave you two the most bone crushing hug possible. He whispered a few words of encouragement to you two before letting go and going back to his seat.

“I’m so happy for you two. This is such a big step in any relationship and it can be really tricky. You seem to be handling it with grace and I’m really proud of you two. I’m sure you have searched high and low for the perfect home for you two, and I already know its going to be beautiful. I hope that once you are all moved in and settled and are ready for guests, you invite us to spend a couple days up there with you. All I ask is that you make sure the Pats are playing so Chris here can show me how you New Englanders party when they play.” Your dad said, looking at your and Chris with such love and admiration. “Not to push or anything, but I hope this house has some extra bedrooms ready for kids whenever you decide you’re ready for them.” He added.

You chuckled at your dads comment and wiped some tears that fell from your eyes. “Yes, dad, there are plenty of bedrooms for kids. One of the things on our list was it needed to be family friendly. When you see it, you’ll see how perfect it is for a family. But we’re taking it one step at a time and we’ll talk about kids again when we’re ready.” You assured him. He mumbled good and looked over at your mom, who had been silent the entire time. She looked at you when she realized that all eyes were on her. “Mom, are you going to say something to them?” You’re sister chimed in.

“I didn’t know you guys were really this serious about each other.” She responded.

“Well after 2 years together I would hope we were serious about being together.” You smirked.

“I’m sorry for the shit I was giving you earlier, I was just so scared that you were throwing your life away for some guy you were dating. If I had know the depth of it, I wouldn’t have been so harsh. I should’ve listened to you, Y/N. I was just worried about you and worried that he was going to leave you broken and battered. I’m sorry for not giving you more faith, Chris.” She admitted. You and your mom had both stood up and gave each other a long hug. This was the first time in a long time where your mom had been so genuinely happy for you. There was a big family hug, with Chris included. You joked that he was basically a Y/L/N, referring to the joke he had made to you yesterday.

“Well I do hope that buying a house together means that a wedding is in sight.” Your mom had whispered in your ear. You shot her a look of ‘ I know right?! ‘ and you gave her another hug. Chris winked at you from across the room when you made eye contact. You send him a loving look and mouthed ‘I love you’ to him. He returned the look and mouthed ‘I love you too’ back. You felt butterflies in your stomach and your cheeks heat up.

You had gotten ready for bed before Chris had and was all tucked in and ready to sleep by the time he came up to your room. He had stayed downstairs and helped your parents clean up from dinner while you showered and started to unwind. He saw your body on the bed and assumed you had already fallen asleep. You stared at him as he undressed in front of you and admired his amazing body. He caught you staring and shot you a suggestive look as he turned the lights off and went back to get into bed with you.

“We’re not defiling my childhood room by having sex in here. Plus my mom finally came around to our relationship and my dad probably loves you more than I do, so we can’t risk them hearing us.” You whispered as he pressed his body against yours. Your back was pressed against his bare chest and you gripped his forearms as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You turned your head towards him and pressed a kiss onto his lips. He mumbled ‘I love you so much’ between kisses.

The love that was flowing between your bodies that night was unreal. You spent all night in his arms, exactly where you belonged.

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gumnut-logic · 4 years

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We’ll Be Home For Christmas 4.3

Title: We’ll be home for Christmas

Day Four – Five Billionaires and No Wives – Part 3 Prologue | 1.1 | 1.2 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3

Author: Gumnut

11 Feb - 23 Apr 2020

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: The boys can’t fly home for Christmas, so they have to find another way.

Word count: 2876

Spoilers & warnings: language and so, so much fluff. Science!Gordon. Artist!Virgil, Minor various ships, mostly background.

Timeline: Christmas Season 3, I have also kinda ignored the main storyline of Season 3. The boys needed a break, so I gave them one. Post season 3B, before Season 3C cos we haven’t seen it yet.

Author’s note: For @scattergraph. This is my 2019 TAG Secret Santa fic :D

I’ve finally got my head back into this fic!

Many thanks to @scribbles97 and @onereyofstarlight for reading through and for all their wonderful support.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

Gordon stared at the two dots circling A Little Lightning.

Raoul Island sported some excellent scanning equipment and with John enabling access to Thunderbird Five, Gordon could see for miles.

He could even see the far off dot that was their ultimate destination tonight. Tracy Island was such a tiny smudge in the middle of the ocean, so much smaller than Raoul. A moment to acknowledge it and he realised he missed it badly.

Well, they would be home tonight if they got moving soon enough.

But the whales...

“Yeah, they are the same two from yesterday.”

Sam stared at him. “How can you tell?”

Gordon pulled up the feed from the Raoul sea buoy network ring. A hologram appeared of the mother and calf with just enough detail for Gordon to point out the healing net injuries on the little one.

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, she was caught nasty.”

“Bastards.”

“Don’t worry, we got them. Hell, IR has identified the money responsible and we have our legal team in motion.” A polite way to say his beautiful girlfriend was wreaking havoc in a calm but final way only she knew how. He had no doubts there would be very little left of the Polominka guy by the time she finished with him.

And what was left would probably be swept up by Parker and deposited in the nearest trash can.

Gotta love a girl who knew how to get a job done.

“Gords, you with us?”

“Huh?” A blink. Sam was grinning at him as if he knew exactly what Gordon was thinking about. He glared at him.

It didn’t faze the man. “Penny for your thoughts?” That was followed by an outright snigger.

“Shut it, Samwise.” So, he flushed scarlet, big deal. Idiot.

“Hey, is it my fault you go all moony-eyed at the mere thought of your girl?” Sam’s smirk was glare-worthy. “So, do I get a chance to meet this legend of blonde and pink?”

The glare turned into a frown. “How do you guys know so much about me and Penny?” It wasn’t like he had posted a billboard to advertise what was a very new relationship.

Sam shrugged. “Mel heard you were injured, raised a ruckus and Lady Penelope fell out of the sky. Apparently, they get on like a house on fire.”

Gordon stared at him. “Penelope and Mel?”

Another shrug. “Don’t look at me. Liam and I were in Perth.” He poked Gordon in the ribs. “You need to find a way to let us know how you’re doing, man. The news nets were screaming about an injured Tracy brother. It took them hours to work out which one and during that time you had died and been reincarnated six times. You gave us a bloody heart attack. I know you have to be secret and all, but you’re my friend, Gords. Don’t do that again.”

A blink. “I’ll try not to.” But there would be no promises. “I’ll speak to John and make sure Raoul gets notified.” But there would have to be restrictions. Their privacy had to be maintained. Scott would be a challenge. “You have to realise that there is just us, and we prefer to play it close. The media sucks.”

“I bet.” Sam turned back to the holographic display. “They appear to be waiting for you.” A breath. “Extremely odd behaviour.”

“What do you think they want?”

Sam shook his head. “My initial suspicion is either you or Virgil. Scott said Virgil was trying to walk into the water. You yourself had very close contact yesterday. My guess would be they want to make contact again? But really, we know so little about cetacean reality, our interpretation is far too anthropomorphised to be considered.”

“Virgil said the mother spoke to him with emotion. That he received an impression from her singing.”

“A human interpretation. This is where linguistics between species breakdown. Points of reference. The cetacean environment is so different to ours, there is very little shared reference to enable translation.”

“But they are mammals like us, surely they feel emotion?”

Sam held out his hands. “I’m sure they do. Hell, I know they do. But how do you communicate emotion through dissimilar body structure? We primarily communicate through our facial expressions and body language. Across species we don’t have that avenue.”

“We have their song.”

“Yes, we do. But human communication is only five percent vocal.” Sam swallowed. “I have theories and suspicions that whales rely much more on sound than we do due to their environment, but research is difficult.”

“That is why you pounced on Virgil.”

A sharp nod. “This is a bloody breakthrough, Gords. It’s a first.” He prodded the display to bring up audio. “Your brother managed something no-one in the world has ever been able to do. We need him.”

Now that wasn’t a first. Virgil was needed on a variety of fronts daily, not the least of which was by his brothers.

“Take it slow, Sam.”

“I know, I know.”

“We should also speak to John. He’s our communications expert. Speaks a gazillion languages. He might be able to help.”

“How many is a gazillion?”

“That you will have to ask him. I’ve lost count and he keeps learning new ones. Useful on the job.” Gordon twiddled with the focus of the sensor array. The two whales continued their slow circle around A Little Lightning. “How do you think they will react when we return to the boat?”

Sam drew in a thoughtful breath. “Hard to tell. Humpback whales don’t tend to be aggressive. In fact, they are one of the gentlest species. The only cases of aggression I’ve encountered involve threat to an individual or a calf. Having said that, this behaviour is very unusual.”

“You want to come out with us?”

Pale green eyes shot at him. “You just try keeping me away. I’ve already got the inflatable ready.”

Gordon had to smirk. He had already figured he’d have company. Hell, Mel would probably want to come with, as well. Even if only to kiss Scott goodbye.

Hmm.

“Well, I guess we will find out.”

-o-o-o-

It was an hour before they made it out onto the water. Packing and the fact Virgil had fallen asleep, held them up.

Scott was missing for most of that hour and John refused to say where he was. Not that Gordon had to work too hard to guess with Mel missing at the same time. The less time spent thinking about his eldest brother getting ‘together’ with his friend, the better.

Alan surfaced talking a mile a minute about the telescope on the other side of the Island. Apparently, it was ‘brilliant’, ‘amazing’ and ‘John should get one’.

John’s response to that was two words, “Thunderbird Five’.

“Oh, yeah.” But Alan was undeterred. “I might get one myself.”

“Alan, you have access to Five.”

“Yeah, but it is so cool!”

John rolled his eyes and went back to packing.

Virgil woke eventually and stumbled off to the coffee pot. The expression on his face warned that any obstacles would be obliterated.

Even Sam read that one correctly.

Scott appeared in his running clothes shortly after. He was flushed and Gordon noted several suspicious marks on his neck.

That thought led in icky directions and he had to derail that train. But at least Scott’s mood appeared to have improved. He disappeared into the shower and emerged ever the efficient director of operations.

John was seen to roll his eyes again.

During this time, Gordon kept an eye on the whales. They were still circling when the Tracy brothers, Mel and Sam finally left the compound and made their way back to Fishing Rock.

“No.” Virgil’s expression was stubbornness itself. The skyrail loomed above him, the harness set and ready.

Scott’s shoulders straightened, lining up for a bullfight with his bull-headed brother. Gordon readied to intervene, but was pre-empted by John.

The astronaut stepped up to Virgil’s side and simply touched his arm. Brown eyes flickered and were caught by turquoise. The engineer’s lips thinned but John’s frown deepened just a little.

Virgil’s shoulders dropped along with his eyes. “Fine.”

John’s frown hit Scott between the eyes and big brother relaxed just a little.

Virgil was harnessed up without further protest.

Scott squeezed his arm gently before they released him onto the line and Virgil turned to stare at him as he disappeared into the foliage. Their luggage followed.

Mel stepped up to Scott, rather closer than necessary, noted Gordon. “Race you to the bottom?”

Scott’s first grin for the day spread across his face.

Gordon couldn’t help but smile with him.

A heartbeat and Mel and his eldest brother took off down the path.

Sam snorted. “They make quite a pair. I hope he knows what he has got himself into.”

John frowned a little, but it was Gordon who answered that one. “Does she know what she has gotten into?”

“I guess we’ll all find out.” With that Sam headed down the hill. Gordon, John and Alan trotted after him.

The reason for the impromptu foot race revealed itself when Gordon finally made it to the beach. Virgil was already out of the harness with no repeat of the dangling helplessly incident. Scott was laughing, obviously the victor, though the expression on Mel’s face had Gordon suspecting a little planning on her part.

But the best part of it all was the arm Scott had around his brother.

Oh, thank god. It sucked big time when the two eldest were at loggerheads. Nothing worked smoothly when Scott and Virgil fought. A glance at John and the small smile on his face only provided more relief.

Their inflatable was where they left it, secured and protected. Gordon examined it from bow to stern satisfying himself of its safety and he and John lugged it over the rocks and used the crane to lower it into the water. Sam and Mel were only a few steps behind with their own, much larger inflatable. Both boats were secured on the swell, Gordon jumping into his first to make it ready and help load their luggage.

Scott joined him a moment later as he and John helped Virgil to board. A grunt and his engineer brother made the stretch and holding himself, curled up in one corner. Alan climbed on board just as Mel joined Sam in their boat.

All secure, Gordon started the engine and turning the boat around, headed out towards the distant A Little Lightning.

-o-o-o-

He felt it as soon as he set foot in the boat. A deep hum in the soles of his feet.

His belly ached from the trip down and sitting in the boat itself wasn’t the most comfortable, but the inflatable was bare insulation from the water and it carried the sound he couldn’t hear.

Around him, his brothers chattered and settled. Virgil closed his eyes and just felt.

Water on rocks, water on boat, water on water, birds, the breeze….and a weaving hum. He frowned. No, two, there were two voices singing through his feet.

He cherished the accomplishment of identifying the soft interwoven-

Gordon started up the outboard engine and the boat shot out into ocean.

“No!” His hand shot out. “Stop!”

It was a sign of trust and instinct that had Gordon killing the engine at that simple word from his brother. Mel and Sam shot past them.

“Virgil?” Scott was frowning at him. “What is it?”

“No engine.”

“What? You don’t expect us to row all the way out there do you?” Alan’s eyes were wide.

Mel and Sam turned their boat back towards the Tracy’s becalmed inflatable. A word from Gordon over comms and their engine died under Sam’s hand. They coasted alongside the Tracys.

Virgil reached over the side and put his hand into the water.

Song sung up his arm and he closed his eyes again, noting the notes by intensity.

“What’s going on?” Alan’s voice was worried.

“Shh!” Gordon’s voice was quiet but sharp.

Virgil was suddenly surrounded by brothers. Gordon sat down beside him and Scott and John opposite. Alan hovered behind them.

“Thunderfish?”

Virgil didn’t hear his brother’s response, but the question wasn’t asked again.

“Virgil?” Scott’s voice was ever so quiet. “What is it?”

Opening his eyes caught concerned blue. “They’re singing.” He frowned. “Calling.”

“Calling? How do you know?” Gordon’s voice was just as soft.

Virgil turned to his fish brother, catching those curious russet-brown eyes. “I…I don’t know.”

“We need to get out to the boat, Virgil.” Scott, ever the goal orientated.

“No engine.”

Gordon shifted beside him and began unfastening oars. “Then I guess we are rowing out.” One oar free, he nudged his older brothers out of the way. Scott ended up beside Virgil and John beside Alan at the bow of the boat. With the second oar free, Gordon secured them and himself and dipped their tips in the water. “It’s been a while. Should be fun.” Swimmer’s shoulders bunched up and he took the first stroke, a second and then eased himself into a steady rhythm.

Beside them, Sam broke out their oars and followed.

It was slow, but steady going after that.

Virgil let his fingers trail in the water. Except for the water, wind and birds, it was peaceful, the song interweaving amongst it all as if luring him.

His eyes closed again.

A random beep and he opened them to find Raoul further away and John with his tablet out, a holoprojection above it. Four dots, two circling, two approaching.

Gordon smiled at Virgil.

And the song changed.

It was so sudden his heart missed a beat. Scott grabbed his arm. “Virgil?”

“Can you hear it?”

Scott just stared at him, but Gordon stopped rowing and tipped his head to one side. Behind him, John had a puzzled look on his face which was quickly replaced by one of concern. “The whales have stopped circling. They are headed this way.”

As his brothers turned as one to look in the direction of the yacht, Virgil realised they were closer to A Little Lightning than he had thought.

“Here they come!”

Virgil leant over the edge of the boat, ever aware of Scott’s grip on his arm, and caught sight of what was no doubt the mother whale as she passed under their inflatable. Virgil’s jaw dropped. She was massive. Sure, he’d seen her from a distance, holographically in scale up against his brothers, but to see her this close.

“Oh my god.”

“Are we safe?” Scott’s sharp words were aimed at Gordon.

“Humpbacks are gentle creatures. Generally, they only become aggressive in self-defence. We’re not attacking them.”

“But what are they doing?”

“They are curious.” The words fell from Virgil’s lips without much in the way of thought. The sense of the song had switched from calling to curiosity. He hummed the dominant audible melody. It was little more than a series of pulsating tones backed by the infrasound in his bones.

His hand was still in the water, still seeking the unheard notes when John drew in a sharp breath. “Gordon, move the boat!”

Their fish brother grabbed the oars, but before he could take a single stroke, something touched Virgil’s hand.

The mother whale surfaced, the tip of her massive chin lifting out of the water directly beside Virgil.

“Woah.” It was a whisper of wonder from Gordon.

Virgil, initially pulling his hand back in surprise, was mesmerised. The very colours he had painted barely two days ago, the shapes, the glisten, the immensity…

The all-consuming sound.

His fingers touched soft skin.

It felt like touching music.

He couldn’t help but respond, deep in his throat as best he could as the song shifted to one that echoed his amazement. The notes were organic, simple, yet complex and missing the sound he could not create.

Curiosity.

Puzzlement.

“Virgil?”

His voice wasn’t deep enough.

Or high enough.

“Virgil?” Someone was touching his cheek, a hand cupping the side of his face. He opened his eyes to find Scott in front of him, that ever-present worry on his face.

“I still can’t answer.” It was frustration and sadness all of his own.

“We’ll get you back on the yacht. We have the technology there.” Scott ever the enabler.

Ever the rescuer.

But suddenly his connection was lost. The song stopped and mother whale slipped beneath the surface. Virgil leant over the edge of the boat and might have followed if it wasn’t for that same grip on his arm.

There was an order from Scott that Virgil wasn’t focussed on, the oars cut the water and the boat resumed moving towards the yacht.

Virgil stared into the turquoise depths, lost without the buoy of the song. He sagged against the inflatable plastic.

“Gordon, faster!” It came from John. “She’s coming up again, but she’s not slowing down! Move!”

“I’m try-“

The whale hit the underside of the inflatable lifting it and all the brothers off the surface of the ocean for just a moment before tipping it over and throwing all five of them into the water.

-o-o-o-

End Day Four, Part Three.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds #Virgil Tracy #Gordon Tracy #Scott Tracy #John Tracy #Alan Tracy #kermadec fic #kermadec islands

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nooriginalitylove · 4 years

Text

-And we're not bruised, they're just party tattoos

Thank @sanderssides-incorrectquotes for this wonderful prompt, using Dodie’s “Party Tattoos” as Platonic! DRLAMP

———

This is a collection of things that happened throughout Virgil, Patton, Roman, Logan, Remus, and Dimitri’s lives. All of these things happened at different periods in their lives.

Take a look at the clock only so long to go, scrubbing smooth young skin saying I don't know, grab a bag, grab a bottle but leave the "what if?", you'll see it in the morning after your kicks

Roman sat in his classroom, glancing at the clock near the door, desperately wishing the bell would ring and he could leave the brightly colored room with the too-loud noises. His hands were drawn on, too; something his father would have a fit over if he saw.

Finally, the piercing noise signaling the end of the day rang out throughout the building.

He grabbed his water bottle and his bag and scrambled to leave the classroom filled with laughing kids.

Unknowingly, he ended up in the bathrooms, scrubbing at his hands to remove the pen he’d drawn on his hands on roughly.

The door opened, revealing Dimitri in all his glory. The other teen walked over, rolling his eyes fonding when he caught the sigh of swirls in black pen on the other’s tan hands.

“Let me help; you’ll scrub your hands raw.” The paler of the two said scoldingly. Roman laughed, feeling much more relaxed.

All you will need for a rocking good time, is a bunch of people who don't give a damn. There's a yes, in your head, gotta find where it's at, you'll lose it in the morning but ignore that

A group of colorful individuals sat at a picnic table. The sun beamed down on the group lovingly, and Virgil almost needed to cover his eyes.

“C’mon, Virg! Remus is gonna go pet the raccoon!” Patton yelled, laughing at the thought. Even Logan looked interestedly as one of the Realeza twins stalked toward the raccoon.

Virgil laughed, a tiny smile making its way onto his face as he stood up and rushed over just in time to see the raccoon jump kn Remus’ face. Roman screamed with laughter as he tried to get the rapid animal off his brother.

And we're not bruised, they're just party tattoos, and that colourful mess is just colourful regret!

Logan’s breathing had gone ragged as he sat, curled up, in his room. His latest test, in Maths, had gotten a D+, and he was unjustly freaking out.

“Oh my god, oh my god-“ he stuttered, on the point of hyperventilating. His chest felt tight, his legs weak; his knowledge was everything, and now, he had nothing.

A door opened, just as Logan felt all his air leaving him. “Lo?” Was called out, probably not as loud as it felt but it made his head pound all the same.

Patton was in front of him, a familiar worried look on his pretty face. “What’s wrong?” Patton asked, bring Logan close to his chest. “Breathe, Lo.” He whispered.

His breathing was ragged, still, but more even after Patton’s coaxing to breathe in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. “Thank you,” Patton whispered to him, smiling at him, “You did great.”

The other pulled Logan and himself to Logan’s bed, and grabbed his hands for support. “What’s wrong, Lo?”

Black lipstick will never be a sin, we'll regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin. Regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin. Regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin

Remus’ lips were colored a dark black, drawing the color straight from the night’s darkest skies. “How do I look?” He asked, fluttering his eyes teasingly. Dimitri smiled at him, deciding to humor the crazy man, “You look great, Ree.”

The man in front of him nodded, “Of course I do. But go tell that to my brother; I know I’m amazing, he’s all worried ‘bout stupid shit.” Remus waved him off, running up to Logan and starting to annoy him.

Dimitri pitied the dude; he really did.

But he walked over to Roman anyway, because a pissy Logan was something he didn’t want to deal with.

“Hey, Ro.” The beanie wearing man said, waving slightly at the other. Roman looked away from Virgil, who he was talking with, and smiled. “Hey, Dee.”

With simple hellos out of the way, Dimitri sat down, “You look great, Ro.” He said, noticing the way Roman seemed to fidget with his outfit self-consciously.

Roman flushed bright red, “Thank you?”

My mummy said to always wear a coat, but it's warm and it's heavy and we're trying to float, don't forget she'll be right when it's three a.m. So shiver, but shiver with a friend

Patton was getting ready to leave, when his mum appeared in the living room, where the front door was. “Patton, dear?” She asked as he touched the handle.

He turned to the woman, smiling though slightly defeated; what did she want now?

“Yeah, mom?” He asked back, leaning against the wall. “Bring a coat with you.” She said simply, walking back into the the kitchen. He paused, glancing outside.

It was getting warm out; reaching almost 80° outside because it was getting to be summer. “What the duck?” He said, grabbing a thin jacket before leaving before his mum could spot him.

And we're not bruised they're just party tattoos, and that colourful mess is just colourful regret!

When Remus entered his house, he’d been trying to stay quiet. Though it didn’t matter that much, anyway, because Roman still turned around in his spinny chair with a stern look on his face.

Roman glared at his brother, hard. He wasn’t angry, truthfully, but he’d been worried. Extremely worried. Remus shot a smile at his brother.

“Hey, Ro-Ro. What are you doing up so late?” He asked weakly, trying to joke. Roman stood up, and uncrossed his arms to envelop Remus in a tight embrace.

He looked at his brother, “I was worried, tu gilipollas!” He shouted.

*tu gilipollas = you asshole in Spanish* sorry if this is wrong, I’m new to learning the language!

Black lipstick will never be a sin, we’ll regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin

Everyone sat in the hospital’s waiting room, sick with worry. Logan had been injured in a hit-and-run, and no one had been able to sleep since the news that morning.

Virgil curled up against Patton, sniffling and wippng his eyes. Patton and Roman were openly sobbing, while Remus had his head in his hands and Dimirti buried his face in a pillow he’d brought.

A doctor came into the room, making Roman and Patton stand up, eager to hear good news. The doctor paused, making Virgil’s stomach drop.

“He’s resting now, and his right leg and left arm are broken, but he should be okay.” The doctor said kindly, smiling at the group. Roman let out another sob, and cried into Remus’ shirt in relief.

We're not bruised they're just party tattoos, and that colourful mess is just colourful regret!

Dimitri sighed, running an hand through his hair. In his hands, a pink slip laid, stating “You’re Fired” in big, bold, black letters.

His head hung in his hands, and he drew in a sharp breath to keep from crying.

He missed the days when his biggest worries were if he got an F on his English tests. Now his number one concern was whether or not he was going to be able to feed himself.

When did things get this bad?

Black lipstick will never be a sin, we'll regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin, regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin, regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin

His hands were covered in dirt, and his arms littered with scratches, and he was shirtless. Virgil drew in a deep breath, tears involuntarily making their way down his face.

The bathroom’s light flickered, and as he sat in the bathtub, having just woken up in the tub like a drunk.

A razor sat on the sink’s edge, and his fingers twitched to grab it. But tiredness was forcing his body to stay still, and he blinked.

He fell back asleep.

Write a postcard to you at eighty-four, tell them you'd never dream of living behind the door. Life was fun, full of love, full of hopeful smiles, bet you wish you were here, but I'll see you in a while

Remus glared at his brother, anger in his green-red eyes. “What the fuck, dude?” He yelled, cheek practically pulsating from the slap his brother had delivered.

The other glared back, “Don’t insult mom, dude. She doesn’t deserve that.” He snapped back.

Remus laughed, “And we didn’t deserve to be brought up by our monster of a dad, either! She could’ve left!” He said. Remus knew it was insensitive; and regretted it afterward, but right now he didn’t care.

Their mom was heartless bitch who knew she could leave, but didn’t. She ignored the abuse. Ignored the bruises that littered her “babies” like freckles. Ignored the screaming of her sons and husband, both so widely different; two filled with fear, one filled with unjust anger.

Roman stepped back, “It’s not that easy, Re. You know that.” And he did, he knew it, and Roman did too. “You could leave, too, Ro.”

His brother laughed humorlessly, a sadness to it. Remus felt his chest tighten. “No, I can’t.” Roman said, and then he returned home, and was forced to block Remus’ number.

And we're not bruised they're just party tattoos, and that colourful mess is just colourful regret!

Glasses framed his face, and he gasped as he woke up in the middle of the night, glasses tilted and hair messed up and spiked in different directions.

Logan looked around the dark room, and he curled up on his chair, his desk screwn with papers. A longing for something he couldn’t remember filled him, and he longed for someone to bring him a blanket and push him into bed.

Black lipstick will never be a sin, we'll regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin

Patton smiled at his son, “Bye, kiddo.” He said. Thomas laughed, “I’m 16, dad!” He said, grabbing his jacket before running to Joan’s car to get to school.

When Patton returned to the living room, Virgil was sat on the couch, “He gone?” The anxious man asked. Patton nodded, “Then lets get going! The guys are waiting, Pat.”

And when they all met up at the park like they did when they were young, nobody mentioned the pain in their chest of seeing their old picnic table gone.

We're not bruised they're just party tattoos, and that colourful mess is just colourful regret!

Roman sighed, looking out the window as his grandkids played with toys and watched TV. Oh how he missed being that young.

A sorrowful emotion filled his chest, but he just leaned against the back of his chair tiredly. His daughter, Anatolia, came in, only to see her father not breathing.

She screamed.

Black lipstick will never be a sin, we'll regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin, regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin, regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin

Six gravestones sat in a line, each one engraved with a different font to spell their owner’s names. Each one had a flower in front of the stone, an assigned color to each.

Roman Pryce Realeza, Remus Dugan Realeza, Dimitri Anwir Delaney, Logan Albert Berry, Patton Moha Morales, Virgil Parker Abadon

Silence reigned over the grave, a certain respect hanging in the air.

———

Names&Meanings:

Anatolia - A name meaning “Princess”

Roman:

Pryce - Close to the word “Prince”

Realeza - “Royalty” in Spanish (again, sorry if this is wrong)

Remus:

Dugan - (Kinda) Close to the word “Duke”

Realeza - “Royalty” in Spanish

Deceit:

Dimitri - A widely accepted human name for Deceit

Anwir - A name meaning “Lies” or something to that extent

Delaney - Searched “Last Names Meaning Lies” and glanced at the first name I saw

Logan:

Albert - A reference to Albert Enstein + the name meaning, to some extent, “Intelligence”

Berry - Crofters

Patton:

Moha - A name meaning “Giving Radiant Light To Everyone”

Morales - This name means “mulberry” but it also is “Son of Moral” (Pretty sure this name is hispanic to some extent, but Moral = Morality)

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dailytomlinson · 4 years

Link

“There were times I struggled to find my place in the band,” Louis admits today.

But it’s often the quiet ones you’ve got to look out for.

Behind the scenes he was very much centre stage: Louis was the mouthpiece, constantly fighting the boys’ corner and acting as chief negotiator between band and management.

“Being from Doncaster,” he says, “I’ve never had a problem with telling anyone ‘no’.”

“There was a while when I was worried I was getting left behind – some of the boys are on to their second album now,” he says, taking a draw onthe first of several cigarettes. “At times, I’ve been swimming against the tide, working out who I am. I was trying to find a way back into the industry, thinking of it mathematically rather than going off feeling and emotion.”

He’s referring to collaborations with Bebe Rexha and Steve Aoki in 2016 and 2017 respectively, which, although successful, weren’t where his heart lay. With Kill My Mind – the exhilarating ’90s-inspired opening track of the album Walls – he sets his stall out with a clear departure from anything he’s done before.

Walls is about regret, reflection and ultimately, hope, and feels like Louis, who sings in his still-broad Doncaster accent, has finally found his voice.

“I’ve always wanted to be autobiographical and honest. And in the last six months the songs I’ve written and recorded are of a better standard because there’s an honesty there,” he says.

Honesty certainly characterises the album, sometimes devastatingly so. There’s no escaping the fact that Louis, 28, has faced unimaginable pain over the last few years.

“It wasn’t until after I’d written it that I realised how much vulnerability I’d put in there,” he says. “When I first performed it… I had fans coming up to me in tears telling me their stories, and that’s not something I’ve ever had before. And to do it on that level about something so delicate… It was really cool to take something so dark and make people feel like that.

“I had to get a song like that off my chest. It was difficult writing about things that felt trivial compared to what was going on in my life. There was, I think, a necessity to write that song before I could move on creatively.”

Understandably, Louis won’t talk specifically about Félicité. But when asked about how grief has shaped him both as a man and an artist, he pays tribute to Jay.

“I think it’s a credit to how my mum brought me up that I have a resilience,” he says. “There’s nothing I want less than to have people feel sorry for me, so having that mentality has helped me through the hardest of times.

"I’ve also felt a real support system through my fans. I’d always felt it on a lower level, but when it’s something so impactful and life-defining, I really did feel it from them.”

Days after Jay’s death, Louis appeared live on The X Factor to perform Just Hold On with Aoki.

He was clearly in pieces and it was hard enough just watching, but somehow he held it together, presumably thanks again to that resilience.

“Sometimes it’s fight or flight,” Louis explains. “And the way I was brought up and because of where I’m from, I only see one option in that situation. I also wanted to put myself second and do it for my mum.

"That moment was bigger than me and it was actually incredibly liberating. It used every bit of strength and power and I look back on that performance as one of the proudest moments of my career.”

He says he tends not to suppress emotion and is able to share his darkest points with those he’s closest to.

But as the eldest of Jay’s seven children (five girls and two boys), he also feels a huge weight of responsibility towards his younger siblings and hasn’t had any professional therapy himself.

“No, no, nothing like that. That might be down to a bit of Northern pride, but I have a lot of responsibility on my shoulders and that drives me. I’ve got siblings who look up to me and I’ve got my grandparents as well. So all those things keep my head screwed on.

“My mum had a massive influence on me and I lived with a lot of sisters in the house, so I do find it easier to speak about my emotions. But I’m also from Doncaster, where to be a guy is to be tough and traditional and I feel like [there are] times where pride kicks in and I just say I’m all right.

"I’m lucky that I’ve got good people around me who I can trust and who I can be completely vulnerable with and say how I feel. Nine times out of 10, I don’t bottle things up. I wear my heart on my sleeve.”

They sold 20 million albums worldwide, earning over £40million each, but the pressures of fame were, at times, intolerable. Louis says they were only able to keep their heads screwed on because they had each other.

“You can never be prepared for that. It was such a head f**k. But we grounded each other so the minute one of us acted like a d**khead one of the others would say: ‘Stop being a d**khead’. I see people in this job surrounding themselves with superiority and they lose the concept of the real world.”

He remembers doing a shoot with the band for Pepsi over in the States with American footballer Drew Brees.

“This guy was like a god and we were insignificant when he was around, which we understood. But I’ve never seen anything like it. Every sentence that came out of his mouth he’d have an audience of hangers-on in hysterics.

"These people were so far up his arse and he didn’t have one good joke. He had no banter! I still hang around with my boys from Doncaster and I hear real stories all the time, which helps me understand the world that unfortunately I don’t get to see. Having empathy with people and a connection with the world is imperative for any songwriter.”

Harry Styles recently said that he never touched drugs during his time in the band (although he’s made up for that since), because he didn’t want to “mess it up”. Louis smiles as he confides that he can’t say the same.

“All I’ll say is that I did my fair share and enjoyed my time in the band. It’s right what Harry said and it was smart of him, but I definitely had a lot of fun in the band. I was always aware of how amazing the opportunity was, but also enjoying the moment for what it was. I lived like anyone else my age – the difference was that I was in One Direction.”

He’s in touch with Harry, Niall and Liam “sporadically” (we’ll come to Zayn shortly), but they’re all on very different paths for now.

“If we all went to a pub tomorrow it’d be like we’d never left. The enormity of what happened in One Direction creates a massive bond and we’ll always have that.

"There have been times when we’ve done each other’s heads in. There might be something I say in an interview that bugs Liam or vice versa, but we all know what each other is like and we can call each other up and say sorry for being a d**k. We’re like brothers.”

But that’s not necessarily the case with Zayn, who quit in 2015 and with whom Louis has had a turbulent relationship since. He was hurt when Zayn was the only one not to turn up at the X Factor studio to support him through his performance after Jay’s death, despite promising to be there.

Then there’s Zayn’s apparent repeated digs. In one interview he branded 1D’s music “generic as f**k”. There’s a difference between making a break from the past and dismissing it completely, and it’s a line Zayn perhaps hasn’t always managed to walk.

“Hmm,” agrees Louis, cautiously. “Other than maybe Niall, there is no one who is prouder of the band and the songs we created than me. But while what I did with One Direction is relevant, it doesn’t define who I am and I don’t struggle to make that dissociation.”

Does he think some of what Zayn has said has been disrespectful?

“Yeah, I do. But I can understand it. We have a lot of situations where we’re sat in interviews and if you’re in a certain mood you might run your mouth. The older you get the more you can tell if these things actually carry any malice or if they’re just a prod in the back. That’s life, innit? Sometimes people chat s**t and that’s the reality.”

He’s not ruling out resolving their differences in the future, but there’s no olive branch on the horizon.

“No, but I’ve not actively tried. We’ve all got a lot on our plates and there might be a day where I wake up and think: ‘OK, I want to right that wrong’, but not yet.”

After being in his company for a while, it’s not hard to see why Louis was 1D’s driving force backstage. He’s thoughtful, articulate, open and self-aware, but there’s a steeliness to him and the requisite pop-star swagger, which doesn’t seem to spill over into arrogance.

And that is reflected in his music, which is heavily influenced by the Arctic Monkeys, The Smiths and Oasis. In fact, the title track and latest single Walls sounds so similar to Oasis B-side and fans’ favourite Acquiesce that Louis’ manager flagged it as a potential issue.

“These kinds of things happen. There are only so many melodies you can write and if you listen to a band all the time like I do with Oasis…”

Anyway, says Louis. He had to make a choice.

“I was ready to risk it, but everyone said we should get in touch with Noel [Gallagher] so we did. Often the industry, and especially Noel’s world, can be a bit snobby and say: ‘F**k you you’re not using this song’. But he was really cool about it, signed it off no problem and although I’m sure he’s not happy about this, I f**king am, I’ve got a writing credit from Noel Gallagher on my album. That is some sick s**t so I’m buzzing.”

Is he nervous about going it alone? “I think I’ve got a good record so I’m confident. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t little bit nervous – there’s three and half years work gone into it so there’s a level of anticipation.”

The most overwhelming emotion though, is relief.

“Because it’s taken such a long time. I’m excited to go on to the next phase of my career.”

#louis tomlinson #tw death #020220 #wpress #tw drug #fizzy tomlinson #the sun #fabulous magazine #im tired alrady #stunt mention #i cleared it up

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tenacious-scripturient · 4 years

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hey, remember that countdown?

probably not. but it’s important to me. do you know why? well, it’s because it was the number of chapters i had left to finish draft one.

and i finally completed it.

yup. zero. zip. nada. i’m done writing draft one, and i am freaking out. 105 623 words later, here i am.

i typed in the final word on the document, and the moment i realized it, i began to cry. i know—kinda silly. but i couldn’t help it. Project: Easton’s first draft, which i’ve been working on for the past year (technically two and a half if you count when the idea emerged), is finally done.

this is a huge step for me. it really feels like i’ve done something, that this past year hasn’t been for nothing. and it’s even more special to me—it’s the first book i’ve ever written.

i’m so, so thankful that i had the opportunity and the support i needed to finish this, especially from writeblr. without you guys, i never would have done it. so i owe you my thanks! <3

there are just a few i’d like to mention.

i’d like to give a special shoutout to @quilloftheclouds, who really was the person who, on writeblr, really gave me the motivation to write as much as i could. they really tried to get to know my characters and my story, and i love them for that. thank you so much.

@cookiecutterwrites... where do i start? you’ve always been so supportive of me and my story, and you’re just a wonderful person in general! it’s no wonder we talk so often :D seriously, though. thank you <3 and that amazing art of Wyatt... there’s just too much for me to say about you!

next is @woodhouse-jay! we may not talk too often, but i really have to thank you for taking an interest in Caelym :3 i’m so grateful for the times you drew him, and i adore your art!

@sunlight-and-starskies (i can't believe i forgot to tag you omg i'm so sorry) YOU ARE. INCREDIBLE. YOU'RE SO SO SUPPORTIVE AND YOU ALWAYS SAY THE NICEST THINGS EVER I LOVE U!!

and everyone else i didn’t tag—don’t think i don’t notice everything you do for me! i see it all, and i love you for it. <3

this calls for a celebration, no? i’ll think about it, but i’d be fun to do another contest! after writing 1.5k+ words every day for the past week to get this done, i think i need a small break.

signing out,

tyler :)

#also fma is great watch it #well fmab actually - watch that instead of just fma #sorry for the long post #but wow #i'm still in shock #i'm gonna be ecstatic tomorrow just watch #maybe i'm making a huge deal out of it but i'm so so so so so happy #whoops #phahbiyah rambles #writeblr #other writeblrs

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donteattheappleshook · 4 years

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Of Cars and Bars Chapter 13/14

As always, thank you Krystal @kmomof4 for all of your amazing beta work and for just being a lovely person. This story exists because of and is dedicated to you! (Thanks for the support even though I keep making you angry with all the angst!)

Tagging @teamhook because you asked :D

Here’s the last chapter before the epilogue! I can’t believe it’s almost over!

Summary:

Rated E

When Emma Swan is offered the chance to go on tour as an opener for one of the most popular up and coming bands of the decade, the last thing she expects is to find that the lead guitarist is the stranger she had a one night stand with five years ago.

This started out as a smutty two shot about Emma Ruby and Mary Margaret going on a road trip and has evolved into a slow-burn mutual pining angst-fest.

Read it from the beginning on Ao3 and Ffn because tumblr eats all my italics.

Chapter 13 - New York

If you were here beside me, instead of in New York / If the curve of you was curved on me / I'd tell you that I loved you, before I even knew you / 'Cause I loved the simple thought of you

The tour was over. They were back. Everything was over.

Things had happened really quickly after that night. They cancelled the show and then every show after that for the rest of the summer. They’d refunded everyone, lost the income - she didn’t really know the semantics of how that had happened, Belle had handled all of that.

There had been rumors of course - rumors about why the tour was called off so suddenly. They ranged from one ridiculous explanation to another. The boys had fallen out, broken up, a drug scandal, the band wanting more money, someone was sick…

Emma ignored them for the most part - as much as she could anyway. It was hard to ignore them when she was constantly being reminded of everything she’d lost whenever she stepped outside and saw a magazine with his face on it. He was always hiding it in those pictures, looking away, his shoulders hunched, looking annoyed or exhausted. She didn’t recognize him half the time. There was none of the joy and excitement that had originally attracted her to him.

She’d gone back to Boston, back to her old apartment… like nothing had happened. But it had. Her life was different now. Now she had people recognizing her on the street, reporters and paparazzi hounding her with questions about why she’d left, if it had been because of her and Killian’s supposed romance. She told them to fuck off most of the time. She didn’t like fame, she found. Not the darker side of it she was seeing now, anyway.

The worst part was the social media. Angry, vicious people who hounded her online, angry because they thought she was dating Killian, angrier because they thought she had dumped him, angriest because they thought she was the reason the tour had ended. They called her names. They called her awful, worthless. Told her that she didn’t deserve Killian, that he deserved better, that her music was terrible. All thoughts she’d already had in the back of her mind, thoughts that she thought she’d finally overcome but that were slowly making themselves heard again. She’d had to delete her accounts eventually.

She’d had to quit her job too. It was hard to set a honey trap when everyone knew your face. It was hard to tail a skip when you were being tailed by cameramen. It wasn’t just cameramen and fans that were after her though. Since she’d gotten home, she’d been approached by seven producers, all of whom wanted to sign her and her band. Ruby and Mary Margaret were thrilled, they couldn’t understand why she was so hesitant. Well, actually, they probably could, but they were letting her believe they didn’t know.

It felt wrong, wrong to make music without him. It was ridiculous. She’d done it before him, she’d done it since him. But one of her favorite parts of writing had become the look that appeared on his face whenever she played something new for him, that proud, awed expression he would give her. And she missed him putting in his two cents. Missed the way he would casually pick at his guitar and create a verse that perfectly captured how she was feeling. She missed… she missed him.

But he was gone. He’d left. He’d told her he would in the bar and she’d walked away, abandoned once again, and then the same night he was on a plane. He hadn’t even come back to the room for his luggage - hadn’t come to say goodbye. You didn’t say goodbye either. It was true. She hadn’t said goodbye. She’d been the one to walk out of that bar. But he hadn’t followed, hadn’t asked her to come with him. It didn’t matter. He left, not her. Everyone left.

“You about ready to go?” Ruby asked, her voice holding that tone of sympathy so close to pity that it irked her. Emma looked once more at her apartment, the place she’d lived since leaving Storybrooke over six years ago. It was empty now.

She’d thought coming back to her old life would have made things easier, would have made it easier to move on, forget him, forget how he made her feel and how he’d broken her heart. But it hadn’t. The whole place just felt wrong now. Like it wasn’t home anymore. Home had become something else, not a place but people and now… that was gone too. She missed it. There was nothing left for her here anymore.

“Yeah,” she said, throwing her bag over her shoulder. “Let’s go.”

They were on their way to New York. They were going there to - Emma could hardly believe it, hardly say the words - record an album. Emma had turned down most of the offers, hadn’t wanted anything to do with it. But it wasn’t just her decision. It was Ruby’s and Mary Margaret’s too. It was their life as well, their dream, their career. She didn’t know if she would ever want to be in the spotlight again - but she would try, for her friends.

But every producer that she met just reminded her of Neal - someone who was out to take what they could from her, use her for their own gain regardless of what she wanted. They didn’t care about music. They cared about profit. Only about profit.

But then Graham and David had introduced them to Robin, the man who had recorded their first album, the one who liked to set insanely high bars when it came to music. He was a man with standards and who insisted on hard work and dedication but at the same time… he got it. He was a musician himself and he understood the artistic side of it.

Not all of his artists were well known. Of course he cared about that to an extent - it was his livelihood - but he also had a few indie bands under his wing. He liked good music. That was it. He liked good music and wanted to share good music with the world and he wanted to share her music with the world.

He was sweet, Emma learned as well. A nice guy, funny and upbeat and charismatic. She’d never seen him get angry but she assumed he probably did a good fatherly ‘I’m disappointed in you’ thing that was way more effective than anger. She was looking forward to working with him. She just worried she wouldn’t live up to his standards - not anymore, not with how she was feeling.

When they’d agreed to sign on, Emma had a condition. She was tired of just being Emma Swan and her band. She was tired of all the bad things associated with her name now. She was tired of being front and center when her friends were just as much a part of this as she was. There was no way she could have done this alone. And her name drew too much attention too, something Robin thought they should use but Emma didn’t want to. They named themselves The Ugly Ducklings after a favorite childhood storybook. Her friends liked it. Liked that they felt more like a group now, like what they’d always been.

They settled into their new apartment pretty quickly. David and Graham already lived in New York most of the time so they had helped them find a place and did most of the heavy lifting during the move. It was strange to see them all the time, without the others. Belle and Liam had gone back to London with Killian. When he left for England. When he left her to go back to England.

She hadn’t heard from him. Not a word since that night in the bar. It had been two months. She’d now been away from him nearly as long as they’d been together. Who was she kidding, they’d been together all of five minutes before he left. That was a new record. Usually they stuck around for a little while after she decided to let herself lo- no. she didn’t want to think about it.

She’d given him space at first, hoped that he might reach out if he wanted her, if he needed her - her support or her presence or someone’s shoulder to cry on. But he hadn’t. And it hurt. He hadn’t asked her to come with him. He’d decided she didn’t matter enough and he’d left her behind. Maybe he’d decided he didn’t want to have someone so broken hanging around, being a burden while the case went on.

She knew a lot more about it than she wanted to. The story was all over the tabloids, all over the papers too. And maybe, she’d looked it up a few times online, worried about him, despite everything. The case was dragging on, more and more witnesses being called in, new evidence being ‘found’. It wasn’t just a decision about letting him out anymore. Gold had pushed for a mistrial, insisting he was innocent, wrongly convicted and that he should be acquitted of all charges. She couldn’t imagine what it was doing to Killian, to go through all of this again. But that wasn’t her place. If he’d wanted it to be her business he’d have asked her to go with him.

But something still irked her, more than all the hurt and the loss and the abandonment she felt… guilt. Guilt because she knew, on some level she knew what she’d done. She’d done what she always did. She ran from him, ran away from the possibility of love and of happiness because she’d been so afraid to lose it. The barest hint that he could walk away and she’d walked away first.

But he would have left eventually, she tried to convince herself. Maybe he wouldn’t have. But it was too late now. Now he was in London, regardless of who had run from whom, who had abandoned whom, he was gone now. He was thousands of miles away and he likely hated her - or worse, didn’t even think of her at all. It was broken. She’d broken it. She’d gotten scared and she’d fallen victim to those fears and she broke them.

But he hadn’t tried to fix it. She’d started counting on him trying to fix it and this time he hadn’t. He’d given up. One time too many. She’d messed it up one time too many and hurt him once too many and this was the consequence. It didn’t matter how much she wanted to run to him, to be with him, to be there for him. His silence spoke volumes. He was done with her.

“That was lovely, Emma,” Robin said as they finished recording the vocals for one of the tracks. “Can we try it again with a bit more energy?” he suggested. Emma wanted to laugh. She hadn’t had energy in over two months. Her life had been a blur, a sad, heavy cycle of empty day after empty day.

But she didn’t say that, instead she said “Yeah, sure,” and tried it again. She could tell from his face that it wasn’t much better.

“Perhaps we should move on to one of the ballads,” he suggested. “Let’s do the one you played at the last show - the one that went viral.”

“No,” Emma said quickly. Not that one. She couldn’t do that one. She couldn’t sing that one again - ever probably. She couldn’t sit here in a booth and sing about how she’d fallen in love with someone, had finally believed that she deserved to be loved. Not when that someone had ripped her heart out hours later, reminding her that she didn’t.

“I just mean…” she tried when Robin looked at her in surprise. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m not feeling well today. Maybe we could just work on the music for now? Try the vocals again tomorrow?”

He looked at her like he didn’t believe her and she didn’t blame him - the lie had sounded shit to her own ears. But he nodded, giving her that same, sympathetic smile that Ruby had.

“Sure,” he said. “Let’s call the others and see if they can get over here. Why don’t we work on the chorus to this one while we wait.” Emma agreed, thankful, and went to grab her guitar. She flinched when he spoke again. “It’s alright to miss him, you know,” he said.

Anger was her first emotion, her first after heartbreak but that was always there so it didn’t count. “Excuse me? You don’t know me,” she snapped. Robin only nodded, he didn’t flinch back at her bite like most did.

“I don’t,” he admitted. “But I know Killian. I know him pretty well actually and I know that he’s hurting now - more than I’ve ever seen him hurt before. I can hear it in his voice.”

Emma felt her eyes tearing but she fought it. She would not cry over Killian Jones, she’d done that enough already. Enough for a lifetime. She’d heard that he was struggling, that he was always anxious now, always quiet - that he missed her. Belle had said so on the phone. ‘How do you know?’ she’d asked and Belle had said she just did. Emma didn’t believe her. You didn’t just leave someone that you could miss like that. Unless she heard it from him she couldn’t believe any of it, it was just their friends trying to save something that was already broken. And she hadn’t heard anything from him.

“What does that have to do with me?” she demanded, not thrilled with the audacity of this guy she barely knew assuming he knew anything about her life.

He gave a sad smile. “When I produced Abandon Ship!’s first album, Killian had written a hit. Liam had shown it to me, I remember because he called at seven in the bloody morning to play it over the phone. When they came in to record it though… it was different. It was sadder, it was slower… he sounded like you when he sang it.” Emma’s breath caught. You left him first, a voice taunted.

“It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out,” he continued. “I’ve heard enough bits and pieces from the guys and Ruby and Mary Margaret to piece together where that song came from, who it’s about.”

“What’s your point?” Emma asked, still angry but some of the venom gone from her voice, some of the fire dying out.

“My point is, perhaps it's time to stop writing sad songs about one another and to just… try.”

Emma’s eyes dropped to the floor. “I did try.” Robin smiled sadly again.

“My apologies,” he said. “It’s not my place.”

Graham and David had tagged along with Ruby and Mary Margaret, they were always tagging along now. It was hard. It felt almost like it should, all of them together, but they were missing a few crucial pieces. Having half of the whole there just made the missing half hurt more, made it more obvious that it was missing. She loved David and Graham, they’d become like brothers - but they were a reminder now. Whenever they walked in the room she’d catch herself looking behind them, looking for him to follow them in, only to be reminded that he wouldn’t.

Halfway through their session, when they were taking a break to have some lunch, David received a call. It was Belle on the other end and David put her on speaker. She updated them on their lives, on how the trial was proceeding - they’d hired a lawyer - a high power one that they hadn’t been able to afford when they were young and broke and the first trial happened. She thanked the guys for staying behind, for doing damage control while they were in London. Graham and David had done a hell of a lot of free shows to try and appease some of the bad press. Turned out David could sing. They’d also done a lot of press and appearances and charity events and she knew they were a little exhausted from all of it. Both Graham and David dismissed her thanks as unnecessary.

Emma was sitting awkwardly a few feet away, as far as she could get in the tiny back room of the recording studio, actively trying not to listen - actively failing. She could see that the others were trying to avoid drawing the conversation to him. But when Belle started to say that she was worried about Killian, and David awkwardly tried to hint that now wasn’t a good time, she heard Liam on the other end of the line.

“Is Emma there?” he asked and she felt her heart race. She hadn’t spoken to Liam since that night in the bar. She’d been too afraid to. Afraid he hated her now. With some reluctance, David said she was. “Put her on the phone,” Liam demanded and everyone looked at her uncomfortably. She could hear Belle begging her husband to leave it alone but he wouldn’t listen. “Emma, are you there?” he asked.

Her voice cracked the first time she tried to answer. She cleared her throat, tried again. “Yeah. I’m here.”

“Pick up the phone.” His tone left little room for discussion, even from hundreds of miles away.

Her palms were sweating as she walked over to the table where the phone rested, right there in the middle of all of her friends who were still staring at her with trepidation. They knew whatever was coming wasn’t good either. Liam was a force. She knew that. And he was angry. She nearly turned it off, touched the little red button and ran. But she didn’t. She was an adult. She could talk to another adult. She picked it up and took it off speakerphone.

There was a long weighted silence before Liam finally spoke. “You promised me, Emma.” he said.

“Liam, I-”

“No. All those months ago, I begged you, I begged you not to let him love you if you were going to leave. I told you what it would do to him. You promised me.”

Her words caught in her throat, trapped in the lump there as her eyes burned with tears. “I’m not the one who left,” she said and while she wasn’t looking at them she could feel the way the tension in the room grew at her words, everyone waiting on bated breath.

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” he snapped. “He needed you Emma. He loves you. He still needs you. Why aren’t you here?”

“I-” She didn’t know what to say. His anger was terrifying, his words cut deep and hurt. She knew he was right. She’d promised. But he’d left and he… the excuse felt weak even as she thought it now. He loves you. He still needs you, the words played over and over in her head. She struggled for something to say, some way to work through the pain and the self-preservation that were warring inside of her when she heard Belle's voice, muffled and far away. “Killian, you’re back. We-”

Emma hung up the phone. She hung it up and put it back on the table and grabbed her stuff and ran out of the room. Liam was right. She’d left. She kept leaving and she was going to do it again now. Because that’s what she did best. It’s what she’d always done. It kept her safe and it kept her from getting hurt… only this time, this time it hadn’t worked so well.

Ruby and Mary Margaret found her a few hours later on the couch in their living room where she’d been sitting since she got home. Wallowing. In guilt and heartbreak and fear and doubt. They approached her cautiously, feeling out the mood in the room before sitting down across from her on the coffee table. She could feel another ‘mom and mom’ speech coming on.

“Was Robin really mad?” she asked, realising the very serious possible consequences of walking out on a recording session when they were new and unknown and completely dependent on him wanting to keep them. Ruby waved a hand dismissively.

“He’ll get over it. He’s used to working with moody artists.” Emma glared but it had no heat behind it.

“Emma,” Mary Margaret started.

“Don’t,” Emma said. She didn’t want to hear it. She’d heard it from Liam already today, she’d heard it from people on the street and online. She got it. She was an asshole. But she didn’t know what to do about it. She was so so scared. Mary Margaret, always the sweeter of her sisters hesitated, but Ruby inhaled deeply and Emma prepared herself for the storm.

“No. Enough is enough. You’re being an idiot.”

“Ruby!” Mary Margaret was cut off.

“She is. You are. Look, we let you get away with it this long, we babied you and let you lick your wounds but really - We’re done. These aren’t even your wounds to lick.”

“He left!” she tried.

“Emma, grow up,” Ruby snapped and Emma reeled back like she’d been slapped.

“You’re being so selfish. Yes, he left. But he left because the psycho that killed his girlfriend was possibly going to walk free. He left because he had to. Where did you find him?”

“A bar…” she said weakly.

“That’s right. Doesn’t that give you a little sense of where his head might have been at?” Ruby’s words were harsh, her tone harsher and Emma wanted to run but she had nowhere to go. She was trapped, listening to her, letting herself be reamed out. She didn’t even have the energy to defend herself, didn’t have the leg to stand on either.

“He was hurting, rock bottom, as bad as you were when you saw Neal again - I’m gonna go ahead and say maybe worse. And yeah, his first thought wasn’t about you. So what did you do? You left him. He needed you and you left him there to go through it alone.”

“He’s not alone,” she tried.

“That’s not the same and you know it. Emma, I know you’re scared and you try to protect yourself and you have good reason to. And because of that we let you get away with a lot, because we love you. But this? You being this selfish because you’re afraid that you might get hurt? Making this about you and your fears when it should have been about supporting the man you love? I just…” She shook her head and Emma could feel the disappointment and even the shame radiating off of her. “He’s not Neal,” she said, looking at her with an expression Emma had never seen directed at her. “But right now… you are.”

The tears burned hot in her eyes. Ruby’s words were harsh, cruel even. But… they were right. Emma looked at Mary Margaret. She looked nervous but not like she had any intention of defending her and so Emma knew she agreed. And she should. Maybe she’d just needed it to be laid out like that, to be called out on it… but Ruby was right.

She’d let Killian in, let him care for her, maybe even love her. She’d encouraged him, let him think it was safe to give her his heart, to trust her with it. And then the moment he’d needed her, the first time he hadn’t only thought about her wellbeing and her fears and had fallen victim to his own… she’d left him. She’d run out of that bar like a bat out of hell because… what? He hadn’t asked her to come to London with him? He hadn’t outright told her he needed her? She was an idiot. She should have stayed, should have gone with him.

She thought about the night before, how she’d tried to push him away, gotten wasted at that bar on cheap whiskey and he’d stayed. Not because she’d asked him to but because he knew she needed him too, even when she was saying the opposite. And when it had been her turn to do the same… she’d run. She’d only thought of herself, let her insecurities take over, let herself be blinded. She’d been selfish. She’d abandoned him. He’d never have done that to her.

“What if it’s too late?” she asked, the first of her tears making their way down her cheeks. Ruby scowled at her for a moment but it stopped when she spoke again. “What if I hurt him too much, too many times, used up all my chances. What if I ruined it and I can’t fix it.”

“You can always fix it, Emma,” Mary Margaret spoke, putting her hand on Emma’s knee. “Love, true love can always be mended. It might not be the same after, but it can be stronger.” She must have seen the look Emma was giving her because she spoke again. “Don’t. I know you like to make fun of me for believing in true love but I’m not talking about some fairytale, predestined, meant to be garbage because that’s crap. If it’s really love then you have to work for it and fight for it and you have to go and admit that you fucked up and make things better, make amends. That’s love.”

“You just have to decide if you’re gonna fight for it or not,” Ruby said. Emma watched them both. She wanted to go. She did. Killian was the best thing that had ever happened to her and she had screwed it all up and she wanted it back, she wanted him back. How she felt about him, how he made her feel, how he made her laugh and smile, his weird obsessions and his stupid quirks and his constance and his baggage... she wanted it all back. But still, years, decades, a lifetime of letdowns wouldn’t let her, froze up with fear that she was wrong. With that last little doubt.

“What if he doesn’t want me anymore. What if he can’t forgive me?”

Ruby and Mary Margaret exchanged a look, eyes wide. “What if he doesn’t -” Ruby started in disbelief. “Show her the video, Snow.”

Mary Margaret took her phone out and fiddled with it for a moment. She turned it over then and handed it to Emma. The video was dated only two days ago. It was Killian, sitting on a little stage in a bar somewhere during what looked like an open mic. She could hear people in the back of the video whispering, wondering if that was him, what he was doing there. But she ignored them, focused on him.

He looked… sad. Sad and lonely and heartbroken and everything else she was feeling right now. His playing was still immaculate, his voice was still breathtaking, but he had none of the stage presence he usually did. It was like all the fun, all the carefree confidence and charisma had been drained out of him. He still held her attention though as he sang. Sang about a woman he missed, longed for, who wasn’t here with him… a woman who was in New York.

“Is that enough proof for you?” Ruby demanded.

Emma stood, walking past them and out of the room, adrenaline running through her veins, making her heart race and her fingers tremble. She headed straight for her room, could hear her friends following her as she grabbed clothes haphazardly out of her closet and some of the boxes she had yet to unpack. Where was her bag? She huffed and she searched for it. She knew she should have unpacked when Mary Margaret told her to.

“What are you doing?” Mary Margaret asked from the doorway.

“I’m going to London.”

***

Killian was tired. He was so tired. It had been months now of talking with lawyers, of turning down Gold’s lawyers offers to strike a deal. No. There were no deals. Gold would spend the rest of his life in prison for what he’d done. He’d taken the rest of Milah’s life away from her and Killian would be damned if the monster didn’t meet the same fate.

He was headed back to the flat he’d rented with Belle and his brother when they arrived. It was strange to be back. After nearly a decade of living in the States, of living in Boston and New York and even LA for a little while. It was strange to be home. Although it wasn’t really home was it?

He’d learned long ago that home wasn’t a place. It was the people that were around him. He had his brother, his sister-in-law, he spoke to Graham and David regularly on the phone, even to Ruby and Mary Margaret sometimes… but not to her. He thought he’d found one, a new home, one they all could have made for themselves, one he could have made with her. But then it had been ripped away from him. No, not ripped. She’d taken it, walked away with it and left him behind, empty and alone to suffer through all of this. Not alone technically but… it wasn’t the same.

Today had been the first day of the actual trial. After months of preparation he had finally gotten to sit in that witness box and tell the world what a terrible, inhuman being that man was. He told them how Milah had planned to tell her husband she was leaving him that night, how she’d gone home to do so.

After not hearing from her for nearly 24 hours, he’d gone to her home, somewhere he’d never been before out of fear of her husband finding out. He hadn't truly understood her fear when they were happy and together. But he understood it then, when he found her. He told the jury about the blood, about the way she’d just been left there, tossed aside while Gold left the city. This wasn’t manslaughter, he told the jury though he knew he couldn’t change the verdict now, was reminded of it by the judge. But he said it anyway. It hadn’t been a crime of passion. It had been the cold-blooded act of a man who refused to lose something he believed belonged to him, believed he owned.

The cross-examination had been worse. Horrible, cruel questions that you shouldn’t ask someone who had lost the love of their life. Maybe not of their whole life, a little voice had piped up, but he shut it down. He couldn’t think of that. He was already spending his days reliving losing his first love. He didn’t want to be reminded that he’d lost his second, the woman that he thought might be his true love - all sappiness be damned. But she’d walked away, she’d decided not to choose him. Killian had only loved two women in his life, and both had left him. It just hurt all the more that Emma left by choice.

He’d replayed that night over and over in his head. Remembered how close he’d come to opening that bottle. He’d walked there in a daze, the recall to that time bringing back memories of the man he’d once been and he let himself step back into that man’s shoes. That man had led him straight to a bar. He’d warred with himself, he’d won. But he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. Not when with every passing day he was reminded of how Milah had been taken from him. Not when with every passing moment he saw Emma again, walking out of that bar and out of his life… again.

He’d believed her. Believed her when she'd said that she wanted to be with him, that she’d wanted to stay. But then, after one look at the darker side of him, the moment they’d faced a challenge, the moment he’d needed her most, she’d run. It felt like someone was ripping out his heart every time he thought of it. He hadn’t been enough. He’d let himself believe he was and then she’d proven him wrong.

The pain and the heartbreak turned to anger more often than he’d have liked to admit. And he was angry with her. Angry with her for giving up on him, for giving up on them so easily. But also for disappearing from his life so completely. He could understand that she didn’t want his love anymore. But they had been friends hadn't they? Why hadn’t she reached out? Why hadn’t she called him? Why was she never around when he called Graham or David? Ruby and Mary Margaret sure seemed to be around all the damn time.

She’d disappeared, cut herself out of his life completely, and it hurt. Yes, he loved her, but he’d also grown to count on her, on her being there, on the way she made him laugh and the way she challenged him. He needed her support. But she wasn’t there. She hadn’t just left him - she’d abandoned him and that thought hurt more than any. She knew what it meant to be abandoned. She knew what she was doing to him, how it would break him, especially now when he needed her so much. She'd done it anyway.

That was the worst part. The fact that despite all his anger and her abandonment and the fact that sometimes he wanted to curse her name… he still needed her. He missed her. He loved her. He tried to stop but he couldn’t and that made it worse. She’d let him fall in love with her, had led him to believe that she could love him too and then she’d changed her mind - and he couldn’t.

He still wrote about her. But as angry and hurt as he was, he couldn’t put it into words, something stopped him every time. Instead all of his songs came out longing and heartbroken and full of love and loss - but never anger, never hate. And he knew it was because no matter what he did, his heart wouldn’t stop wanting her, missing her. And so he was left here to mourn her and hate her while the ever growing ache in his chest reminded him that he would probably never stop loving her.

That was the thought that was itching at the back of his mind as he walked up the last step to their fourth floor flat - the lift was somehow always broken. He rounded the corner towards his front door as he dug his keys out of his pocket. He looked up and froze, the keys falling through his fingers and onto the ground at his feet.

Emma. Emma was standing outside his door, a bag in her hands and bags under her eyes. She looked nervous. She saw him and her breath hitched, her fingers tightening around the strap of her duffle. His thoughts were reeling. What was she doing here? Why now? After all this time? Why hadn’t she come sooner? What could she possibly want from him now? But he didn’t voice any of them. His mouth had forgotten how to form words and so he stood there, slack jawed and dumbfounded like an idiot.

“Hi,” she said after a long, tense moment.

“Hi,” he answered because it was the only word his stupid bloody mouth seemed to be able to form. She didn’t say or do anything else, just stood there, waiting. He didn’t know what for. Someone walked by then, cast them both a strange look and it snapped him out of his thoughts a little. He picked up his keys and stepped up to the lock.

“We should probably go inside,” he told her. The walls had ears here and he didn’t want this - whatever it was - to end up on the front page of the Sun in the morning. She nodded but didn’t say anything as he fiddled with the key. She was so close. He could feel her next to him and it affected him the way it always did. He wanted to touch her, to pull her into his arms, to kiss her, to ask her to hold him and let him cry over all that had happened.

But he couldn’t. That wasn’t who she was to him anymore. He didn’t know why she was here. And seeing her again felt like having his heart broken all over again. He couldn’t handle it anymore. It had been too much pain. Between her and Milah's memory he'd suffered more pain than any man should have to take in a lifetime, let alone in a few months. So he took a page out of her book - he got angry, he put his own walls up. Angry was safe and it hurt a hell of a lot less to look at her from behind the glass around his heart.

She followed him wordlessly into the flat, into the kitchen where she dropped her bag on the floor. He opened the fridge, really wishing he could have a beer right now - or some rum, rum was always best. He clenched his fist and tried to calm it before pulling out two water bottles - a poor substitute - and handing one to her. She took it hesitantly, standing on the opposite side of the island from him. She only stared at him as they both didn’t drink and finally he couldn’t take it anymore and he spread his hands on the counter, hung his head as his knuckles turned white.

“Why are you here?” he asked, not able to look at her, not wanting to see the expressions play out on the face that he loved, the one that drew him in so easily. She left. She left, he repeated to himself. She didn’t answer at first and he was forced to look at her.

“I came for you,” she said and he wanted to laugh. Now? Now she came for him?

“Why?” he asked again and he saw it this time when the doubt flashed in her eyes. She took a deep, steadying breath and reached out her hand, placing it over his own. His own breath caught in his throat, her touch feeling like it was searing through his skin.

“You know why,” she said and it made his blood boil. He ripped his hand away.

“No, Emma, I don’t,” he snapped and saw the shock on her face. “I don’t bloody know why you’re here. You left me in that bar two months ago. You just left and then I never saw you again. You ignored me for weeks. After -” the words got stuck. “After everything that happened between us. You changed your mind and you just - god, you just fucking abandoned me there, didn’t you?” He saw the hurt in her eyes and it egged him on. Good. It was about time she hurt too, after everything she’d put him through. “My life has been hell, Emma, and right now I’m too tired to try and figure out what you’re doing here so please tell me or just leave.”

“I -” she started and he fought the guilt he felt at the way her eyes cast down, the way her shoulders slumped. She’d made this decision. Not him. Yes, he’d come back to London, but she’d chosen not to come with him, had walked away the second he told her his plans. She’d ignored him. That hurt the most. “I’m sorry,” was all she said.

“Well, that’s great, you’re sorry. You didn’t have to fly all the way across the world just to tell me that.” He saw her hesitate and it made him stop. There was something in her expression that made him think that wasn’t all she’d come to say.

She was looking at him like… like she’d looked at him that morning in his hotel room, the morning she said she wanted to try. He hated the way his heart raced in his chest, the way hope swelled there even after all she’d done.

“What did you come here to say, Emma?” he asked, his tone softer now than it had been a moment ago, but his shoulders were still tense, he still held himself back from her, on edge and afraid of the havoc he knew she could reap on his heart.

“That I-” she started quickly, rashly but she stopped and he saw the way her walls slammed up, holding her back. He hung his head. She couldn’t say it. She’d never been able to say it and she probably never would. What did she want from him? To come back and let him be her dirty little secret again? Because that’s what he’d been. She’d used him and he’d let her and then the second they even thought about being more, she’d looked for an excuse to run and she’d found one.

“Just go,” he said, his tone defeated. “Please.”

“Killian..”

“Please,” he repeated. “I appreciate you coming here and saying you’re sorry. But Emma, I can’t sit here and wait for you to be able to tell me how you feel, for you to decide that you want this to be real. Because I don’t even think you know if you do. I waited for you while you protected yourself, but I think now it’s time for me to protect myself. So please, just go,” he said.

He couldn’t look at her so he didn’t see the look on her face when she stepped back, when she picked up her bag and she walked out of the flat. He stood there for a long time after she’d left. And the longer he did the angrier he became. But not at her. At himself.

He’d accused her of not being able to admit how she felt, and maybe she hadn’t but he’d forgotten one, fundamental thing about Emma… She didn’t use words to express her feelings - she never had. Even with Ruby and Mary Margaret he rarely heard her admit how much she cared about them but she showed it with gestures, with thoughtful gifts and physical touch and by going out of her way sometimes or doing things she didn’t like just to make them happy.

He thought about the first time she’d showed him she cared, when they’d made love in that hotel room the night of Liam’s birthday, when she’d smiled at him at breakfast. He remembered how she’d struggled to tell him she liked him in the dressing room but he’d believed her because he knew already - because she showed him in her own way, by kissing him in front of their friends and holding his hand as they walked into a crowded party - and then again when they walked into the breakfast room to meet their friends. She’d written music with him, had helped him with his own songs, had let herself be vulnerable with him, let him see her fears and let him in as he helped her write… Even before all of that, she'd held his hand on the plane when he'd been scared, she'd taken him on the ferris wheel and won him that stupid giant bear. All this time, she'd been showing him and he'd been blind to it.

He was an idiot. Emma had flown to London. Yes, it had taken her a while to get here. Yes, she’d doubted him and she’d gotten scared. But she’d flown thousands of miles to come find him, to be with him. Maybe she hadn’t been able to tell him how she felt but in Emma’s language… he was a goddamn idiot. She’d flown to London for him. He didn’t need her to make a confession of love. She already had.

He rushed to the door but he knew it was too late. He ran down the hallway, down the stairs and out onto the street. But she was gone. Fuck. Fuck! He called her phone. It went straight to voicemail. He called Belle, called Liam, neither of them even knew she was coming. He called Ruby and Mary Margaret and David and Graham. Nobody knew where she was staying. The trip hadn’t exactly been planned ahead of time, Ruby pointed out. They promised to try to reach her but that she’d told them her phone was dying when she called to tell them she landed an hour ago.

He walked around town aimlessly, his heart racing every time he saw a blonde woman only to be dismayed when it wasn’t her. How many goddamn blondes were there in this city? He got a call from Ruby a little later telling him she’d spoken to her and that she was staying in a hostel in the city. She gave him the name. Said she’d told Emma he was looking for her.

He ran there. Not caring about the weird looks he got for running through the streets of London in jeans and a leather jacket. He was an idiot. He just had to hope that he hadn’t screwed it up so badly that he couldn’t fix it.

He got to the hostel and asked about her. The guy at the counter refused to tell him anything, something about customer safety which, yes, he understood that made sense but it really didn’t help him in his current predicament. He tried to bargain with the guy, tried to plead his case, but he wouldn’t budge.

He sighed, finding an armchair in the lounge and collapsing in it, his head falling into his hands.

“Hey, man,” a woman said and he turned to look at her. She was a young Asian woman, probably a few years younger than him with her hair in boxing braids. She had an American accent and a giant backpack at her feet. He raised a brow at her. “That girl you’re looking for. She about yea-high, blonde, total knockout?” she asked, holding her hand up beside her.

“Aye,” he said, hesitant but hope sparking in his chest. “Have you seen her?” he asked almost desperately.

“That depends,” the woman crossed her arms, looking impressively threatening for her age and size. “Did you hurt her?”

“No!” he answered quickly, then hesitated. “Well, not physically. But I did hurt her - that’s why I’m looking for her.”

“Are you gonna hurt her again?” she asked, raising a brow in a way that mirrored his signature move.

“I bloody hope not,” he said with a sigh. “Please, I’m just trying to make amends. I was an idiot and a tosser and I’m hoping she’ll forgive me, but I can’t ask her to if I never see her again.” The woman looked him over once with a little more judgement in her expression than Killian was really comfortable with. Then she smiled slightly, more of a smirk really.

“I always like a man who can admit he’s an idiot,” she said. “She was looking for some bar,” she continued, pulling out her phone. “The one from this video,” she turned the screen so he could see it and his heart pounded against his ribs. “I told her it’s-”

“That’s okay,” he said, standing. “I know where it is.”

She looked at him strangely before glancing down at the video again. “Oh hey, is that you?” she asked with genuine surprise.

“Aye,” he said. “Thank you…”

“Mulan,” she supplied. “I hope you find her.”

“Me too,” he admitted. As he left he heard her call out behind him.

“When you find her, tell her the whole you’re an idiot thing! You’d be surprised! It goes a long way!” He felt the smile tugging at his lips.

He walked into the bar. He knew it well, it was familiar territory for him. It was a little dingy, the drinks were cheap and carding wasn’t really a thing. Neither was cutting people off which was why it had been one of his favorite places when he was younger, and when he was a drunk. But he’d come back to it recently because it was familiar, because it was one of the first places he and Liam and Graham had played in (before they’d met David). And, because it had open mic nearly every night which meant he could just go up there when he needed a break from the real world, when he needed to let himself get lost in music for a bit.

He’d been on that stage most nights this week. The owner hadn’t complained, he’d actually brought in business now that word had gotten out that one of the Jones brothers was playing there. He was starting to think he’d have to find a new place soon. The point was to blow off steam and feel like a human being again, not to be hounded by people who wanted pictures with him and women who wanted to take him home.

He’d almost accepted a few of those offers in the first few weeks after he got here, after the preparation for the trial started and missing Emma became unbearable. But he hadn’t. One vice just led to another and it wasn’t a path he wanted to go down. And he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He might have thought that Emma had left him but he couldn’t even imagine sleeping with another woman now that he’d known her. It felt wrong. Like a betrayal, despite everything. And he knew it would only leave him empty.

He made his way inside, finding a table near the door so that he could see her if she walked in. He cast a glance around the room but she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. That was alright. He would wait. He would wait here until she came in, and if she didn’t come in then he would go back to her hostel and wait there, and if he didn’t find her there then he would bloody fly back to New York and tell her he was an idiot in America.

He had only been sitting there for a little while, drinking a rumless coke when he saw her, not at the door, but getting up on stage, borrowed guitar in hand by the looks of it. He sat up straighter, his heart racing in his chest as she settled on the stool and looked up, right at him. She didn’t look surprised. A small, hesitant smile crossed her face, despite the anxiety and the fear on it.

His heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his body at this point. Had she known he would come here? Ruby had told her he was looking for her, she’d come to the bar he played in. She’d gone on stage just minutes after he arrived. She’d expected him. Only now he had no idea what to expect. Would she be angry, hurt, had he broken this beyond repair?

“Hi,” she said into the mic and a couple of heads glanced up to look at her. He was fixated. She wasn’t looking at him, her gaze moving around the room uncomfortably. “Um, so,” she hesitated in that way she always did when she was nervous, when she had to voice her feelings. “Someone accused me today of not being able to admit how I feel... And that’s actually pretty true. I’m really shitty at talking about feelings - I’m shitty at feeling them honestly. But, this person helped me with that, with a lot of stuff.”

Killian heard a whispered “Is that Emma Swan?” as more people gave her their attention.

“I was always really afraid of love because it’s only ever hurt. So I put up some walls to keep it out. But I don’t want to keep it out anymore.” She finally looked at him and he felt her gaze in his chest, in his gut, in his heart. He smiled at her, a little, nervous, hopeful thing, and she continued. “I fucked up. I really fucked up and I’m just hoping that you can forgive me and that some part of you still feels the way you did two months ago in that hotel room because…” she hesitated, looking down before lifting her eyes back to his. “Because I love you.”

Killian sat there, awestruck and slack jawed. She loved him. She loved him and she’d said it - in front of all these people, in front of all the cameras that had come out when she’d started speaking. His whole body felt numb, like he had no control of his limbs or his fingers. But then she started playing and the song, the lyrics, the memories rushed into his bones and his skin and his blood, filling him and bringing him back to life, to her. To Emma.

“Oh don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me. I said you’re holding back. She said shut up and dance with me.”

He stood, walking across the bar like a sailor drawn to a siren. He didn’t care about the whispers in the room, people recognizing him, the people filming and taking pictures and gossiping. All he could think of was her and the stupid, ecstatic smile on his face, making his cheeks hurt. As he got closer her own smile grew, doubt melting away in her eyes and replaced with an expression he’d seen there so many times before but hadn’t recognized, love. She loved him.

He hopped up on stage, not caring that he was cutting off her song and she barely had time to stand before he caught her face in his hands and kissed her hard and long to the soundtrack of cheers from the bar patrons. He felt her arms slide up his chest, felt her hands grab hold of the lapels of his jacket as her lips curled against his own, laughter bubbling out of her as he kissed her the way he’d wanted to for months. He’d missed her so damn much and now she was here in his arms and she loved him and he was never going to let her go again.

They pulled apart when a wolf whistle cut through the air, making them laugh. Killian looked down at her, into her eyes that were shiny with happiness and with tears.

“I’m sorry,” she said and he shook his head.

“I’m sorry. I was an idiot.”

She shook her head this time. “I love you,” she said again and he felt it fill his entire body.

“I know,” he smiled at her, at the way she rolled her eyes and smacked his chest in annoyance, trying to pull away despite the way her lips turned up. He held her fast, bringing those rolling eyes back to his. “I love you,” he told her and it felt like heaven to finally get to say those words, to finally say it out loud. She smiled, took hold of his hand that was still cupping her cheek, kissed his palm and he felt her love, words or not.

“I know,” she teased and he smiled. Because she did know. She’d known for a long time, she’d been able to read him like an open book from the beginning. He’d just taken a little longer to understand that she’d been right there with him all along.

He glanced around the room, hearing the people who were still excitedly going on about them, some of them knowing who they were, some not but caught up in the moment. He looked back at her, a little worried, knowing she liked her private life private, that that wouldn’t be an option with him.

“You sure about this, Swan?” he questioned. “I don’t think we’ll be able to hide this from the rest of the world.”

She didn’t say anything, she just kissed him again in front of a couple dozen screaming fans. He pulled her into his arms. Trial be damned, distance and time be damned, five years and running and pain and whatever else was to come be damned. He loved her and she loved him and finally, after all this time, he didn’t need to doubt it anymore. He didn’t need to doubt anything anymore. Because he knew now that he would be okay. He had her. Everything else just faded away.

#cs fanfiction #captain swan fanfiction #of cars and bars #cs fanfic #captain swan fanfic #cs angst #captain swan angst #captain swan smut #cs smut #cs au #captain swan au

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elceeu2morrow · 4 years

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NEW DIRECTION Louis Tomlinson on why he’s not ready to make up with Zayn Malik and how fatherhood made him grow-up fast

Beth Neil 2 Feb 2020, 0:01 Updated: 2 Feb 2020, 3:06

Back then he didn’t appear to be a natural frontman. He wasn’t one to hog the spotlight, nor did he seem remotely interested in competing with the magnetism of Harry or the vocal range of Zayn.

“There were times I struggled to find my place in the band,” Louis admits today.

But it’s often the quiet ones you’ve got to look out for.

Behind the scenes he was very much centre stage: Louis was the mouthpiece, constantly fighting the boys’ corner and acting as chief negotiator between band and management.

“Being from Doncaster,” he says, “I’ve never had a problem with telling anyone ‘no’.”

On top of this (and perhaps most significantly), in the six years that the band were together after finishing third on The X Factor in 2010, Louis diligently racked up more songwriting credits than any of the others, hinting that a hard-working and ambitious young artist lurked beneath the surface.

Indeed, while he might be the last of the band to release a solo album (four years after they announced their hiatus, breaking several million hearts in the process), the result suggests that Louis, having held his nerve and bided his time, might just prove to be the dark horse.

Walls is about regret, reflection and ultimately, hope, and feels like Louis, who sings in his still-broad Doncaster accent, has finally found his voice.

“I’ve always wanted to be autobiographical and honest. And in the last six months the songs I’ve written and recorded are of a better standard because there’s an honesty there,” he says.

Honesty certainly characterises the album, sometimes devastatingly so. There’s no escaping the fact that Louis, 28, has faced unimaginable pain over the last few years.

First losing his mum Johannah Deakin, known as Jay, in December 2016 to leukaemia, and then his sister Félicité, who died last year aged 18 following an accidental drug overdose.

The lyrics to Two Of Us, written about his mum, include intimate details about Louis’ experience with grief.

Understandably, Louis won’t talk specifically about Félicité. But when asked about how grief has shaped him both as a man and an artist, he pays tribute to Jay.

"I’ve also felt a real support system through my fans. I’d always felt it on a lower level, but when it’s something so impactful and life-defining, I really did feel it from them.”

Days after Jay’s death, Louis appeared live on The X Factor to perform Just Hold On with Aoki.

He was clearly in pieces and it was hard enough just watching, but somehow he held it together, presumably thanks again to that resilience.

"That moment was bigger than me and it was actually incredibly liberating. It used every bit of strength and power and I look back on that performance as one of the proudest moments of my career.”

He says he tends not to suppress emotion and is able to share his darkest points with those he’s closest to.

But as the eldest of Jay’s seven children (five girls and two boys), he also feels a huge weight of responsibility towards his younger siblings and hasn’t had any professional therapy himself.

[below the cut is the rest of the unedited article - including Eleanor, Freddie, 1D]

His model, blogger and politics graduate girlfriend Eleanor Calder, 27, who Louis first got together with back in 2010 during the last week of The X Factor (“before it got manic”) has been a crucial part of the stability he’s needed through such sadness.

“She’s been amazing. With any monumental time in your life you need people who understand and love you. She makes my life easier.”

In 2015 they split up for nearly two years during which time Louis became a dad to Freddie, now four, following a brief fling with LA stylist Briana Jungwirth.

The track Too Young is almost an apology to Eleanor for that period (“I’m sorry I hurt you, darling… I cut you off cos I didn’t know no better”), but Louis says the time apart taught him some tough lessons and has made them stronger.

“I think we both agree that we needed [that break]. I was too immature for a relationship of that seriousness. But I had to learn that and be an idiot first.

“A lot of young men won’t understand until they have hindsight. The responsibility of meeting someone you could spend the rest of your life with at 18 is too much for most immature men. I was very immature at that → age and didn’t understand the feelings or importance.”

He and Eleanor guard their privacy ferociously and very deliberately haven’t made themselves a public couple. They don’t go to places where they’ll get papped or post pictures of each other on social media.

“Me and Eleanor have been together ages and I don’t have a lot of private photos for myself,” he says. “Even on a night out there’ll be some f**ker taking my picture and it goes everywhere.

"So those moments to ourselves are special. It’s the same way I look at Freddie. Do I wanna show him off and tell the world how amazing he is? Yes, of course I do! But I know he’s amazing and he knows that and that’s what matters.”

He dotes on Freddie (“I cherish my time with my boy”) but admits the unplanned pregnancy was a wake-up call.

“Yeah, it was unexpected and I had to grow up very quickly. It was another one of them moments – being faced with the reality of a situation and having to step up. It was a very maturing time in my life.

“And, again, I’ve kind of got between two headspaces. I’m the responsible dad and brother some days and other days I’m still the reckless idiot chav I used to be. I’m still trying to work out a happy medium.”

Absolutely no one could have predicted the global phenomenon that 1D became, least of all Louis, Liam, Zayn, Niall and Harry themselves.

He remembers doing a shoot with the band for Pepsi over in the States with American footballer Drew Brees.

He’s in touch with Harry, Niall and Liam “sporadically” (we’ll come to Zayn shortly), but they’re all on very different paths for now.

“If we all went to a pub tomorrow it’d be like we’d never left. The enormity of what happened in One Direction creates a massive bond and we’ll always have that.

Does he think some of what Zayn has said has been disrespectful?

He’s not ruling out resolving their differences in the future, but there’s no olive branch on the horizon.

“No, but I’ve not actively tried. We’ve all got a lot on our plates and there might be a day where I wake up and think: ‘OK, I want to right that wrong’, but not yet.”

He’s based in LA these days, to stay close to Freddie, but “Donny” will always be home. He says comparing the two places is “literally chalk and cheese” and it’s taken him time to “come round” to living in the States.

“It’s taken a while to get used to spending so much time there. I feel like I’m very British at heart.”

“These kinds of things happen. There are only so many melodies you can write and if you listen to a band all the time like I do with Oasis…”

Anyway, says Louis. He had to make a choice.

The most overwhelming emotion though, is relief.

“Because it’s taken such a long time. I’m excited to go on to the next phase of my career.”

Louis Tomlinson’s new album Walls is out now.

#unedited #lt news #lt interview #fabulous 2020 #walls promo #2.2.20 #elounor 2.0 #baby stunt #1d mention

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jelzorz · 5 years

Text

a delicate condition: some notes

[HOLD IT. Are you here bc I tagged you or bc you follow me? The final chapter of ADC is being uploaded as we speak. Read that first!]

Hey team!

Ngl guys, ADC was so much harder to write than a delicate arrangement but DAMN, it feels good to call it D O N E. Thank you guys so much for your support and your encouragement!

Under a cut bc this got LONG.

To everyone who put up with me on the Rayllum discord (idk which of you are on tumblr and what your handles are, but y’all know who you are!) - THANKS GUYS. Those sprints got me through some of the worst blocks ever, and without your ongoing support this wouldn’t be finished.

To @cloudburst-paint-water and @theconfusedcarp - thanks for letting me rant at you when I needed to work out some plot points! Not sure you guys know how much I appreciated being able to talk my problems out until I came up with a reasonable solution that made sense for the story.

To @darkaja92 and @mcsgaming27 - you guys wrote fic inspired by ADA and ADC and I still can’t get over it? Holy shit?????? You guys are fantastic and I love you. Their wonderful stories can be found here.

To @magicalphilosophermoon, and @ArtToAnimation over on Discord - you guys drew me stuff and I still can’t get over it? Holy shit?????? Unfortunately, I don’t have ArtToAnimation’s beautiful work of art here on tumblr bc I didn’t want to post it without permission (if you’re reading this, please know I love you and I’d love to be able to link everyone to your masterpiece if you’ve posted it elsewhere), but @magicalphilosophermoon‘s is here!

To @supernaturally-yours97, @sasstrid-and-dorkcup, @theconfusedcarp, @sugarssaur (even though I know you haven’t read it yet but you made memes still so), @stuck-up-snowflake, @eternaishere, @eskpistone, @iloverayllum, @elite-7, and @artgirllullaby - thanks for the memes you guys! Can’t say I think ADC was as worth it as ADA, but you guys thinking that it is just so lovely, and I appreciate you all so much. Those memes can be found here.

To @magicalphilosophermoon (again), @burr-ell, @alleychattalks, @mcsgaming27 (again), @cakeanon - you guys were super nice to me when I needed that break, so thank you for your support and your kind words!! If you sent me an ask at all, or a comment on AO3, or a message in my DMs - thank you guys SO MUCH. I wish I could tell you all how much I appreciate your comments and words of encouragement. Just. You know. Thanks guys All those asks can be found here if anyone’s interested.

If you wanna know what I’ve been doing on the side, I’ve been trying to write some original stuff. I have some cool ideas and I’ve been asking around to gauge interest, so if you’d like to read some original work by me, please go ahead and follow @jelly-writes-awtf. This blog’s gonna be under construction forever bc idk what I’m doing, but if you’d like a preview of this novel thing, you can find it here.

Finally, I know some of you guys are interested in a third instalment but I don’t want to promise anything bc I’m notoriously bad at following through. If there is one, I kinda want it to focus more on Ez (and Aanya FIGHT ME) bc I think his actions after this debacle would be interesting, and bc I think his friendship with Aanya would be fun to explore. They’re both kids in a very grown up world expected to do very grown up things. I really think that could be fun. idk, we’ll see I guess.

Also, if y’all ever need a beta, feel free hit me up!! Least I can do for you guys. Your support is amazing, and it’s only fair I offer mine

Thanks again guys!!! Can’t wait to write for you again soon!!

Til next fic!

- Jelly :)

#rayllum #adc #thanks guys #you're all amazing #thanks again for all your support!

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fangirlinsweden · 5 years

Text

Promises 3

Pairing: Steve x reader

Warnings: Angst, tears, swearing, threats (I don’t think I have forgotten anything)

Word Count: About 2700 words

Square Filled: Crying themselves to sleep for @star-spangled-bingo

Summary: Y/N always keeps her promises. Always. This time that hurts her.

A/N: This is my second fanfic series for the @star-spangled-bingo.

And I would like to thank @kaunis-sielu & @allaboutthebooz & @itsanerdlife for their help and support. These women are amazing writers, that you need to check out if you haven’t already.

Part 1 Part 2 Promises Masterlist

It’s been over a month since the party and you this time you had promised Tony to attend the party that he was throwing. In return, he had promised you not to throw you a big party when it was your birthday in a couple of weeks. So here you were walking into a party again. You had on a simple black dress, with quite daring slit in the side that run up to your halfway your tight. Nat had insisted that this dress was perfect for you and you did not have the energy to fight with her. You just wanted to get this party over with so you could crawl into your bed and watch Netflix. You had painted your lips bright red, the same colour that your nails where. You felt fierce and had to admit that Nat had been right about the dress. Black and red was your favourite colour combination. You saw a few men staring at you when you made your entrance to the party, alone this time. Wanda and Nat were already in the room talking to Sam and Bruce. Your eyes scanned the room for Clint. He had asked you for the first dance at the party and you had agreed. You saw Steve coming towards you, but you did not look at him. Or at least you tried not to. How come the man looked like a model with his black suit, with a black tie and white shirt, you thought in your head. You felt how a flutter in your stomach and tried your best to seem indifferent to him. Steve had kept his distance to you since your talk in the hallway. Which you were grateful about, but you knew from Nat and Wanda that he asked them about you almost daily.

“Y/N” Steve was now standing beside you. “Would you like to dance?” He looks at you with hopeful eyes. He was not giving up on you to becoming friends again. The butterflies in your stomach made their presence known, even more. Fuck, fuck.

“No” you answer and Clint walks up to the two of you. He smiles at you with one brow lifted and you smile back, giving him a wink. You silently thank Clint in your head for finding you so quickly. You did not want to talk to Steve tonight.

“Ready for our dance?” Clint holds out a hand to you. You nod and you walk out on the dancefloor, without sparing Steve a look. You could feel his eyes boring into your back, still standing where you left him, but you don’t care.

“You look beautiful tonight, Y/N” Clint says to you. You smile at him and thank him.

“Black and red is your colours” he continues. You laugh at the statement.

“I thought that myself when I walked in” you explain when he raised his brows at your laugh.

“How are you doing?” Clint mumbled in your ear as he drew you in a bit closer. You know that he asked about Steve. You smiled and said you were fine.

“You know…” Clint said and looked over at were Steve stood. “Sometimes the best revenge is to smile and move on.” You laughed at this and Clint dropped the subject. You spend the rest of the dance talking and laughing. He always made you feel at ease.

After you had danced with Clint, you danced with Tony and then with Sam. Then one of the men that had asked you at the last party asked you to dance and you accepted. Steve stood with a drink in his hand looking at you. You could feel his eyes on you, but you did not look at him at all. You were going to have fun tonight, and not let Steve ruin another party for you. Even though you wondered if he would ask you for a dance again before the party was over.

Steve looked at Y/N. It hurt him to see Y/N in the arms of the different men at the party, but he knew that she was not trying to make him jealous. He understood that she did not play games. She was just having a good time. Steve could not keep looking at her dance anymore so he went to the bar. Even though he could not get drunk, he something with a burn to drink. He told the bartender what he wanted and when he got a drink in his hands saw Y/N come up to the bar with Sam laughing. She did not even look at him. It was as if he was invisible. She got a glass of champagne from the bartender and Sam and she went away again. Steve looked after her.

“You really got it bad,” the bartender said and Steve turned around to him.

“That obvious” Steve asked and looked down on his drink.

“A blind man would be able to see it” The bartender joked.

“Well, I messed up” Steve took a sip of his whiskey. “And now she won’t even talk to me.”

The bartender laughed at him and Steve looked up at him.

“If there was really no chance for you” he said and filled up Steve’s glass. “She would talk to you. She is hurt. And probably mad.”

“What should I do?” Steve asked and the bartender shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know her” he said making a gesture against Y/N where she was talking to Clint, Nat and Sam. “But I believe that you do. Take your knowledge about her and make her see how sorry you are.” Steve nodded and thanks the bartender. He needed to make a plan. He needed to make this up to Y/N. To show her that he was in love with her. Steve knew he needed help and the only person that would maybe be willing to help him was Wanda. He sought her out at the party and walked over to her. Hoping that she would give him a chance.

Steve knew he was still in the doghouse with the rest of the Avengers. Even Peter Parker had told him off for what he did to Y/N. Bucky was also getting a lot of backlash, but not as much as Steve. It had been over a month, but Steve had learnt more and more all the wrong with what he had done. When Steve stopped in front of Wanda, he knew that there was a big risk that she would leave him standing there alone.

“Wanda, I need your help” Steve knew that it was better to be upfront and honest. Wanda looked him over and she must have taken pity on him.

“What do you need, Steve?” She asked.

“I need to get some time alone with Y/N without any distractions or interruptions” Steve confessed.

“That is a lot to ask for” Wanda looked him over. “You hurt her and I don’t want that to happen again.”

“I love her, Wanda” Steve said and looked out to the dance floor where Y/N was dancing with some guy talking and dancing. “This is killing me. I know I made a big mistake, but I need to give it one last chance before I let her go.” Wanda stood looking at him before she looked over to Y/N. Wanda saw past her friends laugh and smile, she knew that she was not happy. Her smile and laughter was fake and Wanda could still see the pain in Y/N eyes. She knew that Steve and Y/N needed to talk if they were going to get passed this and if they were going to go on with their lives.

“Fine” Wanda agrees. “But if you hurt her again. Then Nat and I will kill you. I already have the perfect place to bury you.” She points her finger in Steve’s chest.

“Deal” he says and starts to explain to Wanda what he wants to do.

You saw Steve talking with Wanda before he left the party. You looked after him, but you did not go after him. Why did it seem like your body and mind always knew where he was? You were still hurt, but if you were honest with yourself you would admit that you missed him. Your dance partner seemed to notice that your attention was not on him anymore, and you excused yourself and went to Nat and Clint. You were conflicted on what to do about Steve. Were you overreacting to it all? Should you give him another chance? You really did not know.

“Nat” you said. “Can we talk?” Nat looked at you and nodded. You walked out on the balcony. You stood looking out over the city.

“I don’t really know what to do anymore, Nat” you said. Nat put her arm around your shoulder. You did not even have to explain that you were talking about Steve.

“I see him and I don’t know what to do” you almost whisper and break away from her arms. You turn away looking at the party.

“Y/N, what are you trying to say?” Nat demands.

“Did I overreact?” you finally get out.

“No” Nat says and turns you around to her. “You did not overreact. He tried to play games and you are not the kind of woman you play games with.” Nat is running her hand down your arms.

“I miss him” you whisper and looked down on your shoes. “I miss talking to him. I miss laughing at him. I miss showing him things he missed when he was frozen.” Nat took you into her arms and hugged you close.

“Oh, honey,” she mumbles. “You really do love him.” She realised you and you walked over to the railing of the balcony. Looking out over the city.

“If I didn’t I would have gotten over it already” you answered. “Then I would have forgiven him and moved on. Just being friends.” You hang your head low.

“I feel like an idiot” you mumble not looking up at Nat.

“You are not an idiot” Nat almost yelled at you and pulled you into her arms again. You felt tears running down your face. The dam finally broke.

“I am going to kill Steve” Nat muttered.

“Please, don’t” you whisper feeling weak. “I need to move past this.” Pepper walks out on the balcony and when she sees you two hugging. She walks over to you with quick steps joining in the hugging. The only one missing was Wanda. The girls had helped you a lot over the last couple of weeks. You were thankful to have three amazing best friends in Wanda, Nat and Pepper. They were your rock.

“What do you need?” Pepper said after a while. Stepping back looking at you.

“Chocolate and a comedy” you answered fast. The girls laughed. They helped you so it could not be noticed that you had cried and then you left the party. You dragged Wanda with you and ended up in your bed watching Rebel Wilson in ‘Isn’t it Romantic’, eating chocolate and drooling over Liam Hemsworth.

After midnight the girls said goodnight and walked to their bedrooms living you alone in your room. The girls had helped you through a tough time again. Even though they had offered to turn it into a sleepover, but you needed some time. Time to think. Maybe it was time to move on and start dating?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You got the call the next morning. A call you had dreaded to get, but knew that you would get one day. His voice in the other end of the line. Wyatt.

“I need you” was all he said. And just like that, you started looking for your bag. You knew that if he called saying that. He really did need you and that something terrible had happened.

“I am on my way” you answered and hung up. You started packing your bag when FRIDAY announced that Steve needed everyone for a briefing. That was just perfect, you thought. You knew that you did not have time to go on a mission. You needed to get to him. But first, you needed to tell the team. It was bad, really bad.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Steve started his mission briefing directly when you walked into the room. Everyone else was already there. There was a HYDRA base that needed to be taken down. All hands on deck, so to speak. But you knew you could not go. You were more needed elsewhere.

“I can’t go on the mission” you said when he told everyone about the mission. Steve told you to be quiet. Of course, he would think this was about him. You stood up.

“I can’t go on the mission” you said. “I need a week or two off.” Steve looked at you with a stone face.

“You are going, Y/N,” Steve said. “You can take your time of when we get back. Everyone is needed on this mission.”

“I am sorry, but I can’t” you said again. All eyes were on you and Steve.

“Don’t make the thing between us affect the job” Steve growled out. Y/N gasped.

“That is not what this is about” she sassed at him. “I have a friend that needs me, and I promised to come.”

“You can go after the mission” Steve sighs and dragged a hand through his hair.

“NO” she said, holding her ground. “I am going now.”

“If you don’t go on this mission. You are no longer an Avenger.” Steve said and looked eyes with Y/N. Protests were thrown around the room, but Steve and Y/N are ignoring them.

“I made a promise and I intend on keeping it. I promised him I would be there for him so that is what I am going to be. If you feel like I don’t belong here anymore because of that. Then you can kick me out of the Avengers.” They all stopped talking. The thought of Y/N not being a part of the team anymore was petrifying. What the hell had he just done? Steve sat down in his seat, feeling defeated. Had he just kicked out the love of his life from his life? How much could he mess things up? He really was bad at this. She must hate him now. Steve feels the tears stinging in his eyes.

You looked around the room on your fellow Avengers, after a few minutes of silence, and understood that you might be going about this the wrong way. You wanted them to understand.

“Have I ever told you why I always keep my promises?” you asked. They all shook their heads. Steve sat up a bit straighter in his chair. You knew it was time to tell them, at least one of your secrets.

“When I was a teenager I promised my grandmother that I would come and visit her, but then a friend asked me to go shopping instead, so I did not go to my grandmother” you say and try to not cry. “While I was shopping, having fun with my friend, my grandmother had a heart attack and died. I found her the next day.” Tears are falling down your eyes, but you need to continue talking. “If I would have visited her, as I promised, she might not have died.” You feel a hand on your arm and looked down to see Nat’s hand on your arm. She gave you a small squish. It gave you the courage to continue talking.

“The next time I failed to keep my promise was when I promised my training partner, Samantha, to go running with her one morning. I woke up with a burning fever and did not want to risk exposing my powers, so I sent her a text, saying I was sick and that I could not make it.” You try to keep yourself from breaking down in front of them. Nat seems to know where this story was heading. She stood up and put her arms around you. “Samantha got hit by a car, it was a hit and run, She spent the next 3 months in the hospital. If I was there she might not have gotten hit.” You feel like you can’t breathe anymore. “After that, I just can’t break a promise anymore. I am going to my friend. I am not breaking a promise again.” You turn around hurry out of the room. Maybe you just got yourself kicked out of the Avengers, but a promise is a promise.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Promises tag list:

@njayfbi @ncrediblelove @keithseabrook27 @donner5822 @thecauldroncake @tessvillegas @denzmallows @allaboutthebooz

The tag list is still open. Comment or send me an ask if you want to be added to the tag list.

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