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#HES A DAD!!!
noelledeltarune · 7 months
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EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt
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bakedbeanchan · 1 month
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random fire nation diplomat #492 will never understand the complex and fucked up relationship between the water siblings like I do 🙄
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xekstrin · 24 days
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One of the most memorable interactions was Saturday. Into our booth strolls a small family, tempted by free samples of freshly brewed tea. We chatter and give them the spiel, that the tea is character merch and we’re a cozy health-based app called Forage Friends.
The young girl zeroes in on our pride pins.
“They have my pin!” She says excitedly. “They have my flag!”
The dad blinks. He is surprised, but also calm and positive when he sees it’s the lesbian flag. “Oh. That’s… different from what you told me.”
“That was months ago, dad.” And she rolls her eyes. Definitely a teenager.
I turn to him and say, “Yeah, dad.” And we share a little laugh about it.
He says, “No, it’s great. That’s amazing, honey. It was just news to me.”
“Well, I guess I just decided to stop lying to myself. About liking guys. Like right now.”
A little lesbian just came out to her dad and he was super cool about it.
I’m standing there in my tie-dye mask and my cheery blue apron pouring tea and making small talk and I’m trying really hard not to cry or compare it to my experience, the fire & brimstone, the disgust, the conditional acceptance as long as I never bring it up.
So as this beautiful bonding is going on, the girl’s even younger brother turns his gaze around. He’s in a snorlax hoodie and bored and wants to go look at the swords across the hall. But on the other side of our booth….
“WHY DO PEOPLE DRAW THAT?” He asks loudly, and we all turn to our neighboring booth.
Our neighbors were extremely lovely people. Every time we had a break we would talk, and we became good friends over the weekend. They kept apologizing that their booth was next to ours and we kept repeating that it was totally fine. Their booth was great. I even bought their merchandise.
The thing that was so contentious, that they felt the need to apologize for, was that they were selling explicit titty hentai stickers of popular characters. They were censored with little yellow R18 labels but the content was very clear.
So back to the family: I freeze and immediately go somewhere else to let dad handle this question. With adult customers I’ve been loud and positive about our neighbors. (“Man, how has it been boothing next to them?” It’s been great! They bring a lot of foot traffic and they’re kind and wonderful professional neighbors. If anything it’s a fun juxtaposition. We believe in artistic freedom. I bought a sticker too!)
But this is a kid, it’s not my place to explain anything…. But I was extremely curious about what this chill dad would say.
“Well,” dad says with a long measured silence between each word. “Sometimes people are horny.”
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daisywords · 6 months
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One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.
Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.
It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?
Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.
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lilislegacy · 2 months
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zeus: your boy is out of control. he’s down there creating storms and tsunamis and causing mass chaos. i think you need to-
poseidon: LOOK AT HIM GO! HAHA LOOK LOOK LOOK HE JUST DROWNED THAT ENTIRE ARMY OF MONSTERS
zeus: that’s not-
poseidon: OMG LOOK HES CAUSING A LITTLE EARTHQUAKE NOW! YES! GOOD! NOW USE YOUR SWORD TO- YES THATS IT SON!!
zeus:
poseidon: DROWN THEM ALL!! SHAKE THE GROUND!! FLOOD THE WHOLE AREA!! SINK IT TILL IT’S GONE!!
zeus: brother you need to-
poseidon: you’re just jealous.
zeus:
poseidon: he’s wonderful.
zeus: he’s-
zeus:
zeus: is he… doing the macarena?
poseidon: yes
poseidon: he likes to get on the nerves of his enemies. he also is physically incapable of staying serious for too long
zeus:
poseidon: i’ve never loved one of my children this much
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abd-appleboxdog · 3 months
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I love these fools so much. I hope in the end they stay together or keep in touch. I heart them its like the dad who didn’t want a cat but loves the cat
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knownsecretss · 4 months
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percy finding out his dad is a god and immediately going to confront him is so funny to me. like he really said “either i’m catching a child support check or he’s catching these hands”
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oifaaa · 4 months
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Annabeth is so much stronger then me I'm just saying if my mum got pissed and punished me for something my field trip partner did after i was nothing but the perfect child for the last 5 years meanwhile the guy who actually did the thing got nothing but praise from his dad yeah no Luke wouldn't even have time to ask me if I wanted to fight against the gods I'd already be starting my own revolution
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lazylittledragon · 4 months
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more domestics to warm the soul <33
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ghost-bxrd · 3 months
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Prompt:
Instead of Dick or Tim, Red Hood straight up goes for kidnapping Bruce Wayne and keeping him hostage just to see how desperate the birds get in trying to find him.
It’s a foolproof plan. Batman won’t blow his cover unless absolutely necessary, and “Brucie” would never know how to slip away from a crime lord of Red Hood’s caliber. It’s foolproof. It’s perfect. Jason can keep dropping hints and make threats towards the birds and watch Bruce squirm without consequences if he plays this right.
But then “Brucie” keeps begging him not to hurt his kids…
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velnna · 4 months
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I wish we could ask him what a magistrate actually does because I don't have a fucking clue
(reference)
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eternallovers65 · 4 months
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Ngl if I had a child with Poseidon, the God of the Seas, and had to pay swimming lessons for my son because he was scared of water, I'd be cursing Poseidon forever like you don't show up, don't pay child support and now you can't even help your actual ocean spawn to swin????
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FNAF Game Vanessa reveals her secret,,
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thelostmoongazer · 3 months
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Undivided attention
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spicy-apple-pie · 6 months
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Bruce: I'm so relieved that Tim and Damian are getting along :)
Damian: shoving the antibiotic down Tim's throat like a dog
(Also Bruce: How's karma taste Tim?)
Part 2 from this
...Part 3...
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lilysaus · 3 months
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reblog if you consider the people youve befriended on this website (and other websites) to be real friends, even if youve never met them irl before
trying to prove something to my dad
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