#I feel a little weird self-reblogging that post this much but whenever I do a few or a handful of more people like it or dm me?

[poohsources]

HELLO EVERYONE! as the year is slowly but surely coming to its end, and i'm now home for the holidays, i thought it was finally time to make another one of these. partially to give a little update on what's been going on in my life and partially as some sort of retrospect for this past year and a look into my plans for next year.

looking back, it's been quite an eventful year — especially when compared to the weird covid years we had to deal with previously. the biggest change was probably my dropping out of college to start a dual studies program in law. i did like my college program just fine ( until i didn't anymore ) but i really feel like law is my thing. and apparently everyone else in my circle of family and friends thinks so as well because i seem a hell of a lot happier than i did before. kinda unfortunate it took me seven years since quitting high school to figure that bit out, but hey, at least i got there in the end. it's been quite time-consuming, and i feel like in those past five months, i've already learned more than i did in all my years of college, but it's fun. i also finally got some new friends my age again. it's also strange to think back that just one year ago i was still struggling financially and just generally dealing with some bad mental health stuff.

i'm actually happy now.

in terms of tumblr and roleplaying, i gotta be honest that i have been sidelining it a lot over the last months. sure, i'm still around but it's not my primary focus, and i'm learning that it's okay not to be online all the time. it's okay to take breaks and focus on other things because as much as i love this blog, the community and tumblr, there are some more important things now. still, i am and always will be eternally grateful to every single person who supports me - whether it is by liking or reblogging posts, sending asks or messages, following me or using any of my stuff. it means so freaking much to me, and i always feel so proud whenever i randomly see my own stuff pop up on my dash because mutuals use it. thank you all so very much! in a similar vein, i honestly still cannot fathom that i almost managed to double the follower count this past year. i'm probably not gonna reach the goal i've kinda been looking at until the end of the year but that's okay. i am so incredibly grateful for everyone here anyway. no matter what.

as for next year - i'm not too sure what i'm gonna do. of course. i'm gonna keep posting memes, and templates and whatever other stuff i feel like doing, but i think my activity is gonna keep on being spotty. i'm also still tempted to do commissions one day ( and we're totally gonna ignore that i've been saying this for over a year now, okay? ) but with the amount of time i don't have, i'm not sure i'm gonna be able to deliver on that. if i do finally build the courage and self-esteem to do that, it will be like an occasional thing that might take some time. however, one thing i do wanna do more of is gifs. i'm not sure what kind of gifs, but i enjoy making them and it's been way too long since i did them so i'm gonna see how i'm gonna incorporate that. or if anyone has any specific gifs they want, always feel free to shoot me an ask or a message. maybe also some aesthetic-y stuff? after all do love making pinterest boards for characters.

maybe i'll also do a blog reveal once i finally set up my multi that i've been planning to work on for months now. since i'm gonna scrap my current main blog ( which i haven't really been active on in a while now anyway ) i'm kinda thinking of coming back to writing and who knows, maybe i'm gonna reveal it here in case anyone would like to write with me.

anyway, this was a lot of rambling, and if you've made it this far, i once again wanna thank you. i know i do this a lot but i really do appreciate you all being here so much, and even after two years of having this silly little blog, it still feels unreal to me that so many people here enjoy what i do.

much love and happy holidays, pooh 🧡

#pooh speaks. #pooh's (ir)regular updates. #long post tw

[millieueu]

🌟 millieueu’s intro! 🌟

(Active only on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays)

Haven’t introduced myself sooo here we go!

Hi!! My name’s millieueu (pronounced as “mill-lulu”). I prefer if you just called me “Millie” instead. I’m a 14 year old introvert who suffers with low-self esteem and is an artist who’s trying to improve! <3

I’m female (pronouns : she/her). My birthday is September 12th. I have a non-identical twin sister!

In this blog, you’ll just occasionally see me reblog Danny Phantom and MLAATR stuff :p

I might even post my art here whenever I can! (Art tag : #millieueu )

I do both traditional AND digital art. My favorite kind of art is lineless art. I mainly draw fanart of cartoons I like!

Likes

Cartoons & Anime

Editing

Drawing

Family & Friends

Movies/TV Shows/Books

Danny Phantom <3

Tumblr, Youtube & Instagram

Pepperoni Pizza, Twisters from TGI Fridays

Etc!

Dislikes

Anti Gacha

The Gacha Community (neutral)

Politics

Silly drama

My sisters fighting over dumb things

School

Nickelodeon (They have good cartoons but they suck ass)

Cringe culture

BYF (BEFORE YOU FOLLOW)

Just so you know that I’m only active on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays due to school (unless if it’s a special day).

I tend to get in a really bad mood and act aggressive when someone tries to start an argument with me, so be cautious and try to treat me decently

I have low-self esteem. I care a little too much abt what other people think of me. Please remember to be nice when giving criticism.

I don’t mind adults interacting with me as long as they don’t say anything inappropriate to me or act weird around me

I block NSFW accounts

Please do not ask to vent on my page. I only allow close friends to do that. I’m not the problem solver for everything

Do not bring up the topic of “blackwashing”, I have no say in it

If you have a suggestion or tips for my drawings to be improved, please feel free to send me a DM.

DNI (DO NOT INTERACT)

Basic DNI Criteria (Why do I need to list them anyways? It’s common sense to know who SHOULD and SHOULDN’T interact with me)

Xenophobes

Islamophobes

Interested in politics

NSFW accounts

Pompous Pep (DannyxVlad) and BillDip (BillxDipper) shippers

Seiusa (SeiyaxUsagi) shippers and Usagi x Demande shippers

Anti Gachas

People who support cringe culture

People who know me irl (These people are exceptions though)

People who are part of the floptropica/floptok community (I’m sorry but their jokes make me uncomfortable. They aren’t funny at all neither are they are quirky for doing it. It’s very repetitive. Their “history” is made up nonsense too. If you’re part of that community please stay away from me or I will block you immediately)

DaBoyzz (They are just as bad as the floptropicans)

BLACKLIST

ClareLaBelleRose (Had an argument with her on my old account (Melonz 🍉), accused Naoko Takeuchi of being a “pedophile”. Falsely assumed that the Sailor Senshis are “white” *they are ASIAN*. Falsely accused Sailor Moon of racism *Toei Animation should be blamed for that, not the entire franchise*. Immature)

Fandoms! :D

Danny Phantom

MLAATR (My Life as a Teenage Robot)

Sailor Moon

Invader Zim

Supa Strikas

Kim Possible

ROTTMNT (Rise of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Hilda

LoliRock

Etc.

Comfort Characters <3

Danny Fenton/Phantom

Jazz Fenton

Valerie Gray

Sam Manson (Guilty pleasure)

Sheldon Oswald Lee (Guilty pleasure)

Rei Hino

Ami Mizuno

Usagi Tsukino

Chibiusa Tsukino

Anne Boonchuy

Examples of my art! :D

Fun Facts (Some of them aren’t that “fun” though :/)

I used to be a TodoDeku shipper 💀

I used to love Bakugou Katsuki, not anymore though.

I was a huge fan of DOAWK and used to simp for Rodrick XD

Drawing Danny Fenton is my coping mechanism <3

Strawberries are my favorite fruits

Fictional Crushes :

Rodrick Heffley (I was so down bad for his emo ass, I no longer have a crush on him though).

Katsuki Bakugou (Also another one of my old crushes. I hate him now >:( )

Danny Phantom (My current crush XD)

Social Status :

Green = Active

Orange = Semi-active

Red = Inactive

Youtube

Instagram

Scratch

Tumblr (You’re literally on here rn, XD)

TikTok (Permanently inactive due to my stress of being a multifandom).

(This can change sometimes!!)

For more info, please consider checking out my carrd

Feel free to ask to be moots/friends! ^^

That’s all, thank you for visiting my profile! :3

#meet the artist #art #artist #2023 #2024 #november #danny phantom #intro #drawings #mlaatr #my life as a teenage robot #cartoons #get to know me #tumblr #tumblr artist #artists on tumblr #digital artist #danny fenton #idk what to tag #millieueu

[featherghoul]

🕯️🕯️🕯️⸸⛧⸸🕯️🕯️🕯️

Greetings

🕯️🕯️🕯️⸸⛧⸸🕯️🕯️🕯️

Call me Feather. I've been in the community for a while, though I've remade my account after a long break.

I'm a lee leaning switch, but don't be creepy about it, okay? Don't send weird dms. Nobody wants that.

I'm 21, but that doesn't mean y'all can send sexual shit. I'm not into tickling like that. It's just a weird fascination/Interest I have and it's completely SFW. Though, while my interest is SFW, that doesn't mean this blog is suitable for minors, so, don't interact if you're under 18. Being followed and interacted with by minors makes me uncomfortable.

What to expect here

I may do cosplays, I may not. Depends on my confidence level.

I may also do art, yet that is also dependent on my confidence level and motivation.

I will write fanfics occasionally, though I don't expect much attention since my interests are quite obscure in the community. Hell, I don't really expect any attention at all on this blog because of how unpopular my fandoms are.

I can do in-character RP, though it's dependent on my fandoms and the characters I'm able to write.

Fandoms in question and their blog tags

Ghost — Not a Christian band

Phantom Of The Opera (almost any adaptation) — Ghosts of the theater

The Dark Crystal — The Weird puppets with the crystal

Five Nights At Freddy's — Scary Bears and shit

The Vampire Chronicles — These vampires can't be straight

DNI

I usually inspect every blog that follows me so I can deem them 'safe' or not, so if you are the following

A minor

Anti-LGBT+

MAP

Nazi

Owner of a blog containing triggering content (Self-harm, irl gore, ED content, etc.)

Zoophile

You are not welcome on this blog and you will be blocked.

Additional thoughts

If you genuinely took the time to read all of that, thank you! That legitimately means a lot to me that you cared enough to not gloss over everything. Though, this intro post isn't done yet. There's just a little more, but you're close to the end of it.

I'm only human, I make mistakes, so feel free to point out if I reblog from someone unsafe, or if I mistag something. I'm not gonna get angry if anyone comes to my DMs or askbox pointing something out like that. If you do so, I appreciate your help.

When recieving asks or DMs, I normally struggle with identifying typing tones, so tone tags are greatly appreciated whenever used. I may not use them often myself, which is something I need to work on and make a habit. If you're unsure of my tone, please ask me to tag or rephrase. Some of us struggle with tone, and that's okay.

Thank you so much again for taking the time to read this, and I look forward to creating chaos with y'all.

~ ⸸⛧⸸

#tickle tickle #non tickles #ticklecommunity #tickle blog #tickle community #sfw tickling community

[fawnandshadows]

Hey I think I have to get rid of something (or confess XD) about you all wishing people would comment more on your blogs.

I don’t know why but I always feel a bit weird doing it.👀 If i am honest i only have strugle commenting on tumblr i don't know why. Maybe I think it’s because i think I don’t belong in that bubble like on Tumblr you always have blocks with the same interests commenting on your work or posts. This also depends a bit on the way tumblr just works people just in general don't comment much. Why should yourself then? Sometimes you have whole blogs self-talk here you know people read but do not answer.

I don't know maybe i think me as a normal user i don't count much in case of commenting 😅😂.

But lately i often read that you blogger actually wish people would comment more so here am i. Lately I have commented brav even if they were short but sometimes do i still strugle it is wierd idk. 🥲✨️

But in general I am a huge fan of your writings i am always happy when i see you post someting.❤️

Hello Anon!! 🤍

I hope you know that you can talk to me whenever!! And I definitely see where you are coming from. I didn’t interact with any other blogs for about 4 months, in fact it wasn’t until I started posting my fanfics that I started talking with other blogs, and for those four months all I did was lurk. I liked posts and I reblogged and that was about it. So, I completely understand being nervous and thinking that you don’t fit in!

Honestly, I cannot stress enough how important feedback is to content creators. And I promise you that every comment counts!!!

I promise you, hearing from new readers is amazing! It’s great to know my work is reaching a new audience! Some of the first people I talked to when joining the fandom were @nikethestatue and @thefangirlofhp and now they are some of my dearest friends! Elriels are incredibly welcoming and friendly, and I am stunned by how many friends I’ve made from this community. I’ve been in the fandom for a year now, and I don’t know if I would have lasted a year without my friends. Every relationship has to start somewhere, and I hope you get more comfortable interacting in the future. 🤍

I have talked to a few other creators about this, and we are more or less on the same page, but I certainly don’t want to speak for others without their permission. But I know others feel frustrated as well with the lack of feedback.

For myself, I spend can spend hours, days, and even weeks on a fic. I got very busy over this summer, so I could only work on YPMG a little at a time, but the latest chapter took months for me to write….and when you are dedicating so much of your time and effort on a piece of work, it can be very disheartening and discouraging if nobody reads it and/or comments on it.

Especially on tumblr, comments and feedback are the only way I really know that people have actually read my work. I will like a post so I can go back and find it at another time, or I will reblog something to signal boost and make sure that others can see it. If I reblog a fanfiction without having read it, then I’ll tag “tbr” just so the creator knows I haven’t read it yet.

Comments are incredibly encouraging!!! I am very appreciative of everyone who takes time out of their day to read my work, but comments are very special. How do I know what my readers like and don’t like if they don’t tell me? And I always start to spiral if I receive a lack of feedback on my work, and I realize that I get too much in my own head, but if a fic flops, then I just assume that it wasn’t very good and people didn’t like it.

I promise you that comments are always greatly appreciated!! 🤍🤍

Thank you so much for reaching out!! I know that it isn’t always easy to reach out, and I am really grateful that you took the time to write to me 🤍. It makes me incredibly happy to know that you read my work and enjoy it!! I loved hearing from you and I hope you reach out again in the future 🤍🤍🤍🤍

#fawnandshadows anon #I typed this on my phone so I hope there are no awkward typos 🥸 #comments are the greatest thing in the world #i promise <3

[nakunakunomi]

Why I am less active ~ again ~

Cw: mental health // selfshipping // spoilers [One Piece]

Might delete this later, but I am having a moment and I honestly do not know where else to post this without coming across as annoying or weird or whatever.

Please DO NOT REBLOG.

So, it's been an emotional week or two, I have been sick because of sleep deprivation on top of it all and I am pretty sure shark week is coming up, so I am being an emotional mess right now. I won't bother y'all with the details, cause frankly, they don't matter. But I can feel my mental health just spiraling down and I have no way to stop it. It'll soon be the summer holiday, and hopefully I will have some time to recuperate.

Anyway, that's not what it is about here. This is about the most recent OP chapter leaks, altho by now it might actually be out (idk, I usually actually don't follow the manga *this* closely). If you're not there and you don't want to be spoiled then please consider this your final warning to stop reading.

So, in the final chapter Ashura and Izo died. Now... I have not been following super closely, and I am not even sure why I checked the spoilers earlier. I know it's fictional characters, trust me, I am 10000% aware. And yet. Izo's death has hit me a little harder than I expected.

For the past 2 years, he's been my main comfort character and I was actively selfshipping with him. Not so much on Tumblr because I am too self-aware and insecure to throw it out in the open like that, but on discord, among friends, and in some little writings that I never shared up here.

Selfshipping has been a great comfort while I figure out what is wrong with me mental health wise. It's been a great tool to figure out what I look for IRL relationships, hell it's been a help figuring out my sexuality, all in a safe online environment, helping me reflect on the real life that's not online. It's been a great comfort whenever I feel insecure, a source of humor to look back onto on bad days, just a very nice coping mechanism for when the depresso hits hard.

It's nothing new that a comfort character dies, it's almost a running meme that 90% of my comfort characters don't make the end of whatever medium they're part of and usually I handle it pretty well. An emotional reaction at the moment I see/read/hear it happen, and maybe some exaggerated online outrage, then some memes and acceptance, 5 stages of grief, but make it funny kinda thing.

But for some reason, this hit super hard? Be it hormones, depression, the fact that my real life is having some struggles at the moment... it just was the figurative drop that made the bucket spill (is that how you say it in English?) and I have been crying some real human tears over non real characters.

I had planned a tiny break while being on weekend with my students and wanted to get back to writing (especially for the summer event and OP bingo) the moment I got home. Instead I kinda got teary eyed and shut my laptop again. My head just fills with Angsty thoughts, and while those are all fun and games whenever I am in a good place, now is not the moment for it. So I am taking a little break again, I am extremely sorry.

I *will* get over it, and will do what any other fanfic writer does in situations like this: ignore canon and move on. But for now it kinda hurts and I feel silly even admitting to it.

Anyway. I just needed to let that out, writing down my feelings is somewhat cathartic and I am running out of tissues, so I had to try something else. I am not even sure if many people will read this because my range has been a little less again lately, but I just had to get it off my chest? Sorry for making you read this entire rambling wall of text if you're still reading. I am not even sure if I am making any sense at all.

Signing off with loads of love, and drink a lot of water, be gentle for yourself, it's what I am doing rn as well. ♡

Love, Hazel

Ps: please don't reblog, invalidate my feelings cause the characters are not real or if you don't like selfshipping. Anything negative said, I'll just block.

#mental health #depression tw #selfshipping #one piece spoilers #rant #personal #rambles #hazel speaks #hazel is feeling emotional #prolly delete later #am sorry

[peachblood3]

Hey! It’s been a bit. I abandoned this account (and tumblr) awhile ago. In the process of creating another account to post my art on, I’ve been looking through the many, many tumblr accounts I made in my younger adolescence. I seriously didn’t realize I made so many, all with a different username, with a different password I don’t remember and some random email I made up on the spot. Looking back at my older posts has made me feel a lot of things. Mostly sadness for my younger self, and sadness for those likely my age at the time making the posts that I would like and reblog. I have suffered a lot at the hands of my own brain, but I think I’m posting this for my younger self.

“Hey me, we’re still sick, but we kept going, and things did eventually get a bit better.”

“We’re still sick but, we finally told someone we we’re struggling.”

“Eating disorder recovery was really hard. I took a long time, a lot of tears, screaming, and hard work, but we did it!”

“We got through it!”

“We’re almost 18 now, gosh it feels weird saying that. I remember when we thought we weren’t gonna make it to 15, but we made it. We’re in our senior year and I think we’re gonna graduate, if not this year maybe the next. I dunno we’re taking things slow, at our own pace.”

“School stopped being so scary for us. We may still not have many friends just acquaintances, and our one best friend we kept from elementary school that we don’t talk to every day, but still love dearly.

“We’re still mentally ill, but we have a lot of skills now, and our bad days aren’t as bad or often as they used to be.”

“Little me I’d like to say thank you. Thank you for being so strong and getting us to 17. I’m sorry for all that I’ve put us through.”

“Little me. We’re still sick, we’re still strange, we’re still anxious, but. We’re also still an artist, we still paint, and draw, we still have a ‘unique’ sense of fashion. We actually wear crop tops occasionally now accompanied by long flowy skirts just like we always wanted to. We stopped waiting for the day we were “skinny enough” to wear what we wanted. We just wear what we want now because it makes us feel good.”

“Little me I think you’re going to be very happy to hear that after high school we’re going to school to be a pastry chef (aka baker). We’re living for ourselves now.”

“Little me, I hope you know now that we didn’t miss out on our adolescence. The idea of a teenage dream is kind of made up, and I don’t think we would have enjoyed the “normal” teenager experience all that much, from what I’ve heard it’s not all that great. Life doesn’t end when you grow up. We can still make friends, have our first kiss, learn to drive, and do all the other normal teenager things after 18. We can do it whenever! Because time doesn’t matter in that kind of way.”

“We may not know everything, or even most things yet, but I think we’ve finally learned that we are so much more that our mental illness/sickness. We are more than our eating disorder, we our more than our OCD, we are more than our anxiety, we are more than our depression, our paranoia, mood swings, hallucinations, and scars.”

“We are a person. A whole human being and, I love us. I love little me. I know I’ll love old me cause she’ll be one badass lil lesbian with cotton candy pink hair, living off somewhere with sheep. But most importantly I love me right now. For all my good and my bad.”

Here’s to another day!

Sincerely someone who made it out

#eating disoder recovery #im still here #i didnt die #mental illness #mental heath awareness #i cant spell

[redminecraftbed]

I usually never make posts myself, I just reblog stuff most of the time and put my comments in the tags or something. Well I mean I pretty much reblog just for myself anyways, save for a small amount of people who have elected to followed me for some reason, I mostly just imagine me talking to myself. This will probably be that kind of post as well, since this is more specific to me personally.

But it is my favorite character of all time’s birthday, and I feel like he deserves this, because he has done so much for me as a person, more than any fictional character has in my whole life. Such a special character has spoken to me on such a personal level that half of the time I spend crying was because of him. I always thought it embarrassing and kind of weird and out of place for me to cry over a fictional character more than lets say, a pet or loved one. But I don’t really think it matters in the long run because someone did something for me, something special, real or not, and I feel like I should acknowledge it.

I talk about in the tags of reblogs sometimes how much I relate to him. About how important it is for someone to have a second chance. For at least one person to think you deserve a second chance despite all of the bad things you’ve done or might do. For someone to believe in you.

Goro Akechi was just a kid. He was always just a kid who grew up too fast and was thrust into circumstances that were out of his control, and there was no one to teach him right or wrong, to fully raise him in this world, so he turned to hatred and revenge until it destroyed. But it is so much easier to hate than to love, especially when there wasn’t much people to show you what love is. I can’t blame him, I can certainly believe that he needs to be held accountable for his actions and be punished for them, but I can understand him so, so well.

He was just a kid, and he is still a kid. And he just wants to be a kid again deep down, and so do I. Our lives as kids are so much easier, filled with better memories, and you always long for that time again, even though there’s no way you can go back because you get older, and it gets farther and farther away so much so that you can’t reach it anymore. In the proof of justice ova, although it’s not canon to the game, you can see that he still feels some sort of connection to his younger self, a time that made him happy. No matter how much he may deny it, he still wants to hold onto that part of him, that had love and happiness instead of pain and loneliness.

It makes me sad he was never able to get some sort of happy ending in canon because I see myself in him. I want him to have his happy ending so so badly it makes me so sad, and it makes cry whenever I think too long about him. I don’t know how to explain it any longer but he means so much to me. Idk how it happened but I’ve been thinking about him so long, he is constantly on my mind and he makes me so happy and sad at the same time.

And also his english voice actor, Robbie Daymond, did him so much justice, and even though I love a lot of voice actors, his work specifically for Akechi inspires me to want to become a voice actor, because he brings so much life to this character and it’s really amazing.

Idk what else to say, I might bring up more when I reblog some art today but I needed to make this because he is so important to me and will always be a huge part of my life, even if he’s just a fictional character and it might be a little silly, I don’t care anymore. Happy birthday my ace detective, Goro Akechi <33333

#my bad if this is a little corny but I wanted to write something a little special about him for his birthday #love love love him so much he means the world to me #//talking #persona 5 #goro akechi #p5r spoilers #I think #6/2/23

[transmisogyny-explained]

In my writing for this blog, I generally try to adopt a formal and impersonal approach to the subject matter at hand. Admittedly, I can be sarcastic and short-tempered at times, but ultimately, I try to appear as a level-headed individual. The problem is that I’m not always a level-headed individual and I’m just as capable of making mistakes as anyone else. Reflecting on this has gotten me thinking about another aspect of transmisogyny which I don’t think I’ve yet discussed.

One thing I notice pretty often whenever analyzing discourse surrounding transmisogyny is how transfems’ motivations are perceived and subsequently characterized by TMEs who talk about us. Naturally, it’s most obvious when coming from overtly transmisogynistic groups, e.g. TERFs, but I’d like to talk about it in a broader sense today (and how it relates to what I do on this blog).

Firstly, four disclaimers:

1. In this post, I’ll be touching on topics of emotional repression, childhood trauma, Christianity & toxic masculinity, gaslighting, misogyny, and (of course) transmisogyny. Read on at your own discretion.

2. TMEs are fully welcome to reblog. I’m aiming for this to be an educational and informative post about one facet of transmisogyny, even if it does get pretty personal and a little heavy at times.

3. I’m going to be sharing some details of my personal experiences and I ask that, if you choose to add or respond to this post, please refrain from making it about me. I’m not looking for advice, words of sympathy, or analysis of my situation, I’m just sharing what I think is relevant information.

4. This post is explicitly about transmisogyny. If you are a TME person who relates to anything I discuss here, I don’t want to invalidate that at all and I don’t mind if you share, just please try not to derail and make this post about any particular group of TMEs.

Anyway, without further ado, let’s talk about

How transmisogyny convicts transfems of invented/perceived motivations.

Being raised as a “Good Christian Boy,” I was taught to repress everything. Confusion about my identity, sadness over feeling alienated, anger towards mistreatment... Hell, even expressing passion about my interests was too much for the reserved Christian men I grew up around. “Liking cars and power tools is fine, but don’t you ever get excited about sharing that with someone else. That’s weird.” I was taught that all of this would go away if I could just man-up or pray about it enough. If I could only turn my emotions off. And, of course, I internalized such messages as an impressionable child, and they continue to affect me even into adulthood.

I think, in a lot of ways, rather than unlearning repression, I’ve simply converted to (what I see as) the only alternative way of earning that long-desired approval from men. Do not misunderstand me here: being taught to repress my emotions was not “male socialization,” because right alongside those messages were all the do’s and don’ts of being a Proper Lady who folds her hands and never shouts. I internalized those messages, too. “I won’t be angry, I won’t be emotional, I won’t be hysterical. I won’t fight back.” This is, I believe, what I have taught myself. This is how I pray the emotions away.

Of course, there’s the tiny, little detail that this doesn’t work and I will never have the approval of cis men or women at large, but that’s a whole suitcase to throw away another day. Where it starts to get complicated is that I sometimes have trouble determining who my “self” is, and I am positive that these two things are inextricably linked: Repressing my emotions has left me feeling void of an emotional identity. But that void has to be filled by something.

What I’ve noticed is that this tends to happen a lot with transfeminine people, not just during childhood, but all the time. We have ideas put into our heads as frequently as we have words put into our mouths. There’s always a “why.” All sorts of theories about why we are — why we’re actually men, why we’re actually predators, why we’re actually “autogynephiles” — why we went “wrong.” Whys are applied to our motivations for speaking about transmisogyny as well — why we’re appropriating women’s oppression, why we hate trans men, why we’re making too much of a scene — why we’re liars, lying about our oppression and lying about our experiences.

Anyone who’s the slightest bit familiar with how transmisogyny works can tell you that, due to largely unconscious bias, a transfem person’s every word and action will be hyper-scrutinized through the lens that we’re inherently dangerous and predatory until proven otherwise. Our motivations are presumed from the start, and presumed only to change when TMEs decide that evidence is sufficient. This is why many of us are afraid to speak out against transmisogyny and are highly cautious when we do. If every perceptible emotion is seen as a potential motivator for or precursor to violence (or presumed to be deception in service of some ulterior motive), it’s better to have no perceptible emotions at all.

There are various reactions one may have when faced with this reality. There are those who simultaneously affirm and distance themselves from such convictions — “Yes, they’re like that, but I’m not like them. I’m one of the good ones!” There are those who crack and admit to everything under duress, perhaps hoping for some kind of “forgiveness” if they promise to be good. There are those who give up trying to make others understand, who choose to only interact meaningfully with those who already do, other transmisogyny-affected people. There are those who snap and decide, in some twisted sense, that the words which have been put into their mouths should become true. And then there’s me, the one who simply can’t give up.

Why am I doing this?

I ask myself this question constantly and sometimes find that I’ve forgotten the answer, the real answer. Am I appropriating women’s oppression? Do I hate trans men? Am I a monster, a liar, a predator, an aggressor? Am I broken, am I pretending, am I... Am I making too much of a scene?

Anger, emotion, hysteria — Is this what fighting back looks like?

...

I’ve tried many ways of continuing this post from here.

I can’t.

Not without getting deeply into my trauma. I’m not ready to talk about that yet, about why my sense of self is so easily destabilized and what that has to do with transmisogyny. I’ve had enough of whys anyway. You can fill in the blanks with whatever you want, I just want to be heard this once:

The truth is that I didn’t teach myself any of these things, they were beaten into me over and over and over again. The truth is that having motivations thrust upon me all the time destabilizes my sense of self and my sense of purpose, and that’s all you need to know.

Try as I may to be as analytical and impersonal on this blog as possible, I won’t ever be able to separate myself from my trauma. I can’t detach myself from the emotions it makes me feel. At times, I become so obsessed with the idea of “correcting” the version of me that exists in other peoples’ heads that I forget which version of me is real. At times, I become so obsessed with being the “right” me, the Proper Lady who never shouts, that I forget that’s not all there is to me.

I forget why.

And that’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it? Repress your emotions so people don’t get the wrong idea, people force the wrong idea onto you anyway, you start to wonder just how wrong the idea really is if everyone seems to believe it... And if you push back, it’s seen as confirmation that you’re every bit as nasty as they say you are... And if you do nothing, then they continue chipping away at your sense of self while filling that void with their own beliefs about you. That’s a reality that most transfeminine people will have to deal with.

But I know who I am and I know why I do what I do. I truly believe I’m doing the right thing here, this is my conviction. I won’t give up on that, nor will I let anger consume me. I have the right to be angry and I refuse to be demure and passive. But I will also keep my sights on the goodness that I know is within me and within those around me. I’ll fill that void with the compassion that has been shown to me through this blog. That’s my takeaway.

So, in conclusion...

TME allies, please be conscious of the assumptions you make about why a transfeminine person chooses to do what they do and what could be informing those assumptions.

And to my fellow transfems, please remember that, if it came down to it, you could kick the ass of whatever imaginary version of “you” exists in some dumb transmisogynist’s head any day.

#gosh #this was a difficult post to make #ask to tag . #allyship #transmisogyny #transfeminism #long post .

[etherealluminescence]

GN!MC forcing conquering the demons into Pacts

Quick tags for those some people who reblogged my other post pt 1, I know I have a lot more but these are the only ones with comments on the post. @chalcedear @undertaker-02 @the-mexican-writer @mammonkinnie

Lucifer

You had spent countless hours against Lucifer, trying to fight him and force him into a pact. No matter what you did, it seemed like you failed.

It took you a long time to realize, but you had to train to beat Lucifer. And that you did. You knew how terrifying his power was as all the demons told you, so for a week straight you intensely trained until you were ready.

Lucifer was already on edge noticing you didn’t try anything, but he knew you wouldn’t give up, which was when you decided to strike.

He easily dodged your initial flying kick when he entered the room, but you grabbed onto the door and swung back around, kicking the tip of his head before he backed off.

He was now ready to dodge, believing that tour strategy was only to catch him off guard, but he was wrong.

When you landed, you dug your foot into the ground and threw yourself at him, but as he moved to the right, you used the shelf behind him to catch yourself and kick off it and nailed a kick straight to his head.

It was now or never as you began throwing heavy punches, trying to get him into a chokehold while he was prying you off, struggling a little as you bit onto his fingers or wings. You even bit onto his horn to stabilize yourself and kept punching.

By the end of it, you had quite a few bruises from his harsh grip, but he had a black eye and his feathers were all over the floor, you’ve won.

He probably could of killed you, but he didn’t want that, so he accepted his loss, glaring at you when you dug your heel into his stomach as Satan clapped and Belphie got out a trophy to hand you.

His pact was now your’s and you were going to flaunt it. He’s alright with the fact it was you who forced him into a pact, but it majorly hurt his ego that you were superior to him.

Mammon

You had recently arrived in the devildom half an hour ago and did not feel welcomed, in the slightest.

You tried to be nice to your guide, but he brushed you off and left you with Levi, or he intended to.

Levi gasped as he watched you tackle Mammon who tried to run off, and elbow him in the jaw. When he fell to the ground you kicked the life out of him muttering out “I tried to be nice to you fucker, if one of us is killed today it’s you.”

Levi was obviously bewildered, but took the chance to tell you to make a pact with him, his biggest mistake in his lifetime, all the poor demons in the future.

Mammon was crying a little as you forced him into a pact, and pulled him up with one hand, making him face Levi himself.

Mammon is 100% nicer to you because you’re scarier than Lucifer, and also because you genuinely treat him with respect now that he’s nice to you, something he’s not used to. Super happy to be the first ever demon you’ve conquered.

Leviathan

You had decided to do things the non violent way and participate in the TSL quiz, until Levi turned into his demon form and tried to kill you.

Taking up his challenge, you fearlessly walked towards him as Mammon was trying to tell you no, and you caught his punch.

It pushed you back a little bit, but you caught it and twisted his arm, and proceeded to beat him up in a one sided battle.

It’s not that he was weak, or others were helping you, but you genuinely managed to fight back and beat him so hard that it looked like his entire left arm was broken.

Lucifer was kinda pissed you broke his brother ngl;; but Diavolo is like it’s self defense?? And Lucifer is just like what human fights a demon across the room in self defense.

When Levi is begging for mercy he is reminded of what happened to Mammon and the rumors, accepting defeat, you make a pact mark with him, he’s kinda pissed though, like highkey.

He thinks that you probably think of him as a trophy or something to collect, based off the rumors. You probably don’t want to have a pact mark with an otaku, you just want to show off your strength.

He soon changes his attitude towards you when you show interest in him. You’re just genuinely a nice person and a caring older sibling figure, but will fight for the sake of peace and safety.

Now he’s just jealous that you spend more time with Luke than anyone else.

Satan

He offered you a pact mark easily because he wanted to piss off Lucifer, especially when you tried to give him a black eye from the pillow fight.

Very angry and disappointed when you said no, but then surprised when you said you’d beat the shit out of him instead, fair and square.

He knew you fought well, but are you sure you want to fight the embodiment of wrath himself? And you’re just like yep, the small tiny you, so confident.

He didn’t take it too seriously despite seeing the actual proof multiple times, and he watched you used his messy room to your advantage, even using the bookshelves to help you get air.

His ass was easily kicked even when he was serious. “You know, after facing both Levi and Beel, you aren’t much of a challenge.” You casually said as you formed a pact mark with him.

Slightly irked by the comment but delighted to be apart of your fan club, probably yells “BEAT THEIR ASS!” On the sidelines.

Pisses Lucifer off whenever you two fight and Lucifer gets an injury from you, and asks if Lucifer ever wants ice, just to be a dick.

Diavolo and Satan are in the fan club which PISSES Lucifer off when the two are in front of him discussing how you will one day (undoubtedly) beat Diavolo.

Asmodeous

You made a pact with Asmo after accidentally beating him up, he was begging for mercy and you kind of felt bad.

You insisted it wasn’t on purpose and he kind of avoids you for awhile after the pact mark. He’s glad Solomon isn’t like you, otherwise the devildom would cease to exist.

He’s eventually fine with you, and loves to take photos of you and Luke together acting like siblings because it’s the cutest thing. Although demons are scared of you they do kinda admire you, and seeing you soft with Luke is good for his devilgram.

Soon treats you like a friend instead of a monster that just so happened to kick his ass and make him beg.

You’re so tiny that it’s kinda cute and he nearly forgets someone like you is violent and scary so when he took you shopping and someone shoplifted, he was concerned for your nails after you disfigured them.

Will 10/10 treat your tense muscles and let you soak in his tub.

Beelzebub

He’s seen you fight before but damn he couldn’t believe it. You’re just so smol?? Couldn’t he crush you?

Lesson learned as he was knocked out after he broke your room. You didn’t want to hurt Besl since he was always courteous with you, so you knocked him out quickly.

He doesn’t remember more than you launching at him and the feel of his wings being tugged and his neck suddenly throbbing.

Mammon who watched beg for Beel’s life on his knees, asking you to spare him. You just nodded and waited for Beel to wake up before making a pact.

When he makes one, you give him some custard you asked Mammon to go out and buy really quick, you said please, and Beel is just so happy!!

He tried to kill you and he feels so bad but you’re just so kind!! Wants to protect you so bad but knows you’re just so badass so he instead helps you care for Luke.

Belphegor

You’d definitely be lying if you said you didn’t see it coming. His brothers had already tried to kill you, he was locked in an attic, and not to mention he gave you a weird vibe, you would of left him alone if you weren’t a nice person.

He tells you thank you for freedom and transforms, ready to kill you. No one got in his way and instead said “good luck Belphie” or “Nice knowing you” so he thought they wanted you dead.

Then he hears Beel say “I don’t want you to die, Belphie” and he is so confused? As he aimed his attack and you just end up punching him square in the face.

Afterwards, you kicked him in the stomach and grabbed his tail, swinging him into a wall, and knocking him over and over and over.

He is out cold, so when he wakes up and sees everyone congratulating him on surviving, he puts two and two together.

You were sitting on top of him and demanding a pact mark, and he unwillingly gives it to you after you nearly rip out his horn.

Pissed off and scared of you, slightly, but more impressed by the fact that even Lucifer struggles with you. When he finds out about the sheer amount of pact marks you have he’s starting to wonder when humans got so strong? And it became an endless spiral of him being pissed off.

Don’t worry though!! He eventually gets used to you.

Diavolo

Super happy it was finally his turn!! Like you did it, congrats, wants it you’d like some tea and what kind of attire to wear for his asskicking.

Is absolutely not looking down on you, he genuinely believes you’re strong. Because of that, he’s just so excited to face you. You beat both Lucifer and Barbatos, the majority of RAD, and you’re such a cool person!!

When you approach him you looked so badass. “Aye, prince of kiss my ass, I’m here to claim you once and for all and become the new ruler of this place.” You yelled out as you kicked down the door to his office.

The first time you two fought, he won. You had a lot of bruises, but managed to rip out some of his hair, at least. He finds it admirable how you still kept going despite him clearly hearing a rib break.

SUPER excited to tell Satan about it!! Hopes Barbatos recorded the fight so he could broadcast it at RAD during an announcement or something, but Barbatos rejected that idea.

Poor Diavolo only wanted to be included in this ass beating trend, but super happy when you return three days later and try to beat him up again, you even changed up the way you fight!!

You won’t ever know this, but one day he purposely changed his office’s layout to benefit your fighting style more, so when you finally beat him he was so ecstatic, his lips were bleeding but he was laughing, congratulating you and couldn’t wait to give you a pact.

Oh boy was he SO happy when you flaunted it, and sat in his desk chair with a hand on your chin, giving an order to Barbatos who recorded it, acting as if you really were the ruler of the devildom.

“Could you get some bandages for your former ruler, please?” You asked, feeling accomplished that Luke was officially safe during his stay in the devildom, and Diavolo was just swooning.

The public is 10/10 avoiding you because they are SCARED for their life. The people are convinced you’re like a nuclear weapon against demons.

Barbatos

He knew one day you’d defeat Lucifer, but it was so quick. You only needed a week of prep time?

Steps up his game a bit, because after two weeks of training you approach him ready to fight, and he can sense you’re not the same.

As he uses his tail to put you out of the room, he automatically feels your sharp teeth digging into his tail. He can withstand it no problem, until you literally rip a bit of his tail chunk out.

You didn’t let go even as he flung you off his tail, and you even dug your nails in. He showed no expression, but it was genuinely painful as you climbed his tail onto him, his tail no longer as useful because he was very sure you would rip through it.

His fighting against you one on one went well for him, he could see and easily predict your moves easily, until you head butted him and began every trick in the book.

From kicking, punching, biting, scratching, you name it, you did it. He was finally at your mercy when you were cover in both your own and his blood, while he was sure his tail was missing some pieces, and you were absolutely not letting go.

He’s 100% convinced you’ve gone feral in a span of three weeks, but that’s okay. The only thing stopping you from fighting the prince was now defeated, and he apologised to Diavolo frequently, who was only super excited in return.

Don’t worry you apologised for his tail and helped him with his job for awhile, totally not to also study Diavolo in his natural habitat.

First time you’ve ever seen him smile so soft was when he got his ass kicked so hard by you that his tail went chomp chomp.

Luke

Surprised pikachu face.

He understands you beating up Mammon,, and maybe some lesser demons,, but did you REALLY defeat Lucifer, Barbatos, and Diavolo.

Surprised pikachu face as you shrug and say “yeah I guess. I’m the ruler now, do you feel safe yet?”

Lucifer yells out you’re not the ruler just because you formed a pact with Diavolo, but you ignored him and smile at Luke, patting his head.

Luke is just nodding like “I’m safe!!!” While in his head he’s like WOW whaT PLEASE EXPLAIN.

Luke constantly calls you his older sibling now, tells daddy Simeon ALL about it, and brags about you to the demons who even look at him.

Praise this precious baby as he makes you all the sweets in the world. You’ve literally defeated demons of all sorts, even the most powerful, and all you want is to see him smile.

Will probably cry.

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me hc #obey me headcanons #obey me headcanon #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me asmo #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me Satan #obey me beel #obey me belphegor

[ckret2]

Mutant Dorat 3

This is part 3 of a commission fic for @sableghoste! Long overdue but by god am I gonna catch up on all my old commissions. Here's Part 1 and Part 2 but if you don't want to read them here's the tl;dr:

AU where Ghidorah is three baby dorats (bat/cat/snake pets), and Rodan is an EXTREMELY MUTATED baby dorat which is why he looks like Rodan, and they're all being taken care of by an alien Xilien dorat breeder named ME-319. Ghidorah's heads' dorat names are Noodle (Ichi/middle), Sunshine (Ni/right), and Pineapple (San/Kevin/left). And Noodle has a big dumb crush on Rodan.

Per usual, unproofed because I wanted to get this posted; it'll be proofed when it goes up on AO3.

###

Noodle wanted to learn to fight.

And Sunshine couldn't believe it.

Noodle's eagerness to learn radiated from his mind in every direction, as difficult to ignore as his unfortunate flakes of shed skin. He was so determined to learn to fight that in the trail he'd left crossing the room, half a dozen other kids had caught the same urge like a telepathic contagion and had set upon each other in a frenzy of play wrestling.

Noodle hadn't joined in with any of them, though. He'd run straight to Sunshine—the most violent little hellion in the aerie—for lessons.

Quite frankly, Sunshine thought Noodle—the most lazy little slug in the aerie—wouldn't make for much of a student.

What did Noodle want to learn for? His idea of “playing” was napping near other kids who were playing so he could empathically absorb their fun without having to get up. If he wanted to learn to wrestle, he should be rolling around with the other kids who didn't know what they were doing, not challenging the toughest kid around to a sparring match.

Granted, Noodle agreed that would probably be easier on him. And yes, he was lazy, he admitted it—although he didn't think of himself as "lazy" so much as "way smarter than the other kids"—but that wasn't relevant! Right now, he didn't want lazy and easy! He wanted to fight, and he wanted to get really good, really fast! And so he needed to fight the best.

All right, fine, Sunshine understood that logic—but why did he want to get good?

Noodle's response (such as dorats could respond, communicating with body language and telepathically transmitted moods) came in the form of a wave of self-consciousness and a sideways glance across the room. Sunshine followed his glance.

Noodle's target was easy to see because nobody else would get near him. The new arrival, the freaky-looking one with the sharp beak-like snout and the scales crusted over with a tumorous layer of rock, was balanced on his back feet like a much younger child that hadn't learned to walk on his wings, hopping around instead of walking, and cawing battle challenges to anyone he crossed paths with.

Oh. So, Sunshine concluded, Noodle wanted to flirt. (Sunshine also concluded that Noodle had really, really weird taste—but Sunshine kept his judgment locked up in his own head.) Well, Sunshine wished Noodle luck—not that he thought Noodle would need much of it, because who else was gonna flirt with the weird rocky kid?—but Sunshine wasn't going to teach Noodle to fight. Because he didn't want to. It sounded boring. Sunshine was ten gallons of whoopass in a five ounce can and he wasn't going to dole out his whoopass a teaspoon at a time to avoid hurting a big lazy baby with dandruff.

Noodle's mind blipped loudly with alarm and determination. He was sure he could keep up and be a good fighter if Sunshine would let him—

Sunshine slammed his mind shut, cutting off empathic communications between them. He could see Noodle’s shock in how his head jerked back, and then the resignation as his head drooped and he wrapped his long tail with its undeveloped spines around him; but Sunshine didn't have to feel those emotions with Noodle.

He trotted off, head held high, and only tripped over his own outsized wings once.

###

Sunshine was resting in one of many round nests suspended far above the ground when he spotted Pineapple, far below, with a bad case of the zoomies. He leaned over the edge of the nest to watch eagerly. Oh, Pineapple—Sunshine loved watching Pineapple play. And listening to his mind. Pineapple noticed little things no one else did and felt just a little out of step with everyone else's minds; his emotions always stood out in a crowd, and under his influence the world seemed just a little sharper and brighter to Sunshine.

And on top of all that, he was cute. With his deep, rich gold scales, and those pretty green undertones... and those long handsome spikes that had already grown in on his tail... Of all the spinetail dorats their age Pineapple's spines had come in the fastest and of all the flight dorats their age Sunshine's wings had grown out the fastest, Sunshine thought they'd look so good together—

What was Pineapple doing?

He'd crept across the invisible circle forming a barrier around the freaky new arrival, head low and tail raised warily; but when nothing happened to him when he crossed that invisible line, gradually his tail went down and his head went up. He trotted up to the new arrival, sniffed him all over—and then licked him.

Sunshine was mortified on Pineapple's behalf. You don't just lick people! Even weird people!

But the weirdo didn't seem to mind. He tilted his head curiously, one way then another, examining Pineapple as Pineapple examined him; then the weirdo head butted Pineapple. Pineapple butted him back. The weirdo cawed back, fluttered up, and kicked Pineapple over; Pineapple rolled back onto his feet and snapped at the weirdo's foot; and then they were rolling around on the floor, snarling and hissing and cawing and having a grand old time.

Sunshine watched in terror.

###

Noodle was curled up with his wings and feet tucked under him and his tail draped over his neck, feeling sorry for himself, when a wing the size of a tent flapped down over his whole body. He yelped, bolted up, and looked at his assailant in bewilderment.

Sunshine was back, mind open to empathic communication again, giving off a wave of urgent determination. Okay. He changed his mind. He'd teach Noodle to fight.

###

If you enjoyed this fic, I’d appreciate a comment or reblog! Part 4 coming whenever.

#rodan #ghidorah #king ghidorah #rodorah #godzilla #fanfic #my writing

[yesvaldemarharder]

Yandere Arcana

Ayo so um.. with 723 followers I really be expecting people for more input on things I should write (requests, ideas, convos, etc) but um.. I guess not? Lol. Anyway since I’m basically writing for like a couple people (people who actually respond to my work cause I like that. If you just like and reblog that’s fine but I still like hearing what people have to say about my work. If your shy don’t be.. I literally don’t judge..) I’ll go ahead and write scenarios for Yandere Arcana. If y’all want more of this just tell me. I was almost tempted to do nsfw lol!

I wanna say that I haven’t played the game enough to finish anyone’s route and while I want to, ya girl broke so picking choices is something I have to wait a while for as well. (The cost on those coins and I can’t even get a Valdemar route??? What type of shit-)

If any of the characters seem ooc I apologize I just really wanted to write this so um.. yeah.

I guess I’ll take the time to part a warning right here: If you don’t like yanderes or anything of the sort I suggest you don’t read this! I would do the ‘below the cut’ thing but I’m all honestly I don’t know how to.. so here ya go!

You have been warned!

-

Asra

Asra is a tricky yandere. He knows you well enough to get into your head.

He may take times to keep a distance from you but whenever he messages you or comes back he always makes sure to show you so much affection just so you hopefully don’t question anything.

He’ll act like something to you matters to him, and usually they do matter but if you’re talking about a love interest or something he’ll act supportive but will really be a bit annoyed on the inside.

Depending on your love interest he may get upset or simply will smile and try to ‘help you get them’. Don’t let it be Lucio or Julian.. he’ll be furious.

If he acts like he’s happy to help and your LI disappears then he probably did or didn’t send them somewhere where neither of you two can meet again. Like a portal to a dark cold place or something.

He’s like a snake.. or even a fox. He’s the magician for a reason.

Nadia

Nadia probably won’t even hide how much of a yandere she is.. okay maybe just a little.

She’s the countess, what does she need to hide? She’s also meant to be with you and you’re supposed to love her no matter what. Nadia seems to be a bit of an oblivious yandere. Not aware that what she does for you is rather scary at times.

She showers you in gifts. Some of the cutest clothes just to basically play dress up with you like your some little doll. She doesn’t like it when you turn down a gift and while there’s a couple times she’ll get frustrated in the end she’ll send the gift to you late at night with a sweet not hoping you take it.

While she usually ask for your input against other’s, when it comes to someone who isn’t much use to the palace or her especially sniffing up on you she’ll usually deal with them.. whether banishing them and having them get hunted down throughout the forest like some sort of game.

She can be ruthless, and when she’s really in a bad mood it’s hard for her to listen to anyone. Don’t beg for her not to kill off someone because she most likely will act you didn’t say anything, kiss your forehead, and will proceed with the execution.

Also gets really touchy with you when her sisters are around..

Portia

Portia is usually a very carefree chick but while she can be easygoing she can be rather on guard about you.

It’s not often with you, because she doesn’t want you to know the bad things she’d do for you, but every once in a while she’ll ‘joke’ about killing for you. She’s caring and always makes sure you’re safe so you don’t question it until she actually does it when you have a suspicion that she did it..

Will cry and manipulate you into believing she’s innocent because seeing fear on your face towards her makes her scared. She was just doing what was ‘right’, of course her terminology of right is different from yours tho.. that’s why she lies about not doing it.

You’ll trust her and while you’re still a bit nervous she’ll work on that making sure to check up on you often. Once she gains your trusts back again she grows to be a lot more sneaky.

Rat poison is probably what slipped into the man’s tea after her kept messing with you but who knows?

Julian

Julian can be much like his sister but instead of growing emotional to defend himself he grows serious. It’s so different from his usually jokingly self and reminds you of the red plague times so you can’t help but apologize for accusing him.

He may not have killed Lucio but he’s definitely took a couple people out for you. Most unintentionally but still did it anyway. That guy couldn’t swim and Julian simply didn’t hear him crying for help.. it’s okay though cause you did say he had a weird vibe about him anyway, obviously Julian agreed.

He can be clingy, needy, and touchy. If you don’t know about the yandere in him you love it and you loving it just manages to feed it more. If you do know about it and you’re scared he uses his touches to try and calm you down. To have you let your guard down.

He’ll use his self hate against you for many different reasons now. While he does hate himself he found that you usually encourage him or try to make him feel better after he talks about himself too much. He’ll use it on you to stop you from running away from him because your morals are far better than his at this point and he knows you’ll stay to try and help him.

When you find out that he’s been killing people you’re terrified and even though you know you should runaway and leave.. you also can’t help but want to help him.

What if he’s actually innocent like he was with Lucio? (Definitely not.) What if the depression got so bad and he couldn’t help himself? He needed help and only you could help him.

He’ll chuckle sometimes at how cute and silly you are. With how he is he knows you won’t be going anywhere and he’s perfectly fine with that because had you did think of running away he’d just chase you down and use he’s depression against you to make you feel bad for leaving and to bring you back to him.

Lucio

The coliseum was made for a reason... Lucio likes a good fight and anyone touching you, speaking with you, or even looking at you can make him want to have one.

If it isn’t a physical fight it’s a fight with words (which he isn’t that good at but his smugness makes it pay off)

He’s a hopeless romantic type of yandere and unlike his wife he actually doesn’t recognize or acknowledge the bad sides of himself. He either doesn’t to face them or actually thinks cutting that servants throat for huffing in your presence was justified.

You honestly can’t tell but hey, you’re scared. He’s a Count though... THE Count.. if he’s your yandere it’s going to be hard to get away from him without getting hunted down. He’ll make sure to keep an eye on you. (much like Nadia)

He’ll lock down the whole palace if it means keeping you in place. If you do manage to escape he’ll be highly impressed honestly before he’s goes hunting you down. When he finds you he’ll make sure the palace is locked down a lot tighter then it has been before.

Muriel

He definitely starts out as a silent stalker type. Muriel isn’t really attracted to anyone before you and even though he is interested in you he makes you come to him.

I believe he’s actually one of the nicer yanderes but he does have his moments of being possessive.

He doesn’t want to hurt anyone unless it’s absolutely needed.. wouldn’t want to kill anyone for something silly.. of course not.

Ok! I’m at the courtiers! Now these ones might be sadder because I have a lot of headcanons for them. Mainly the horsemen and I do believe Valerius doesn’t have much story on him either so yeah.

Volta

Volta’s an absolute sweetheart. Tis is all.

Nah I’m fucking with y’all, it’s a yandere post.. anyway while Volta is a sweetheart she can’t help but be a bit possessive over you. Unlike the other courtiers her emotions come out a lot more and with her past she never thought she find someone like you.

Now that she has though it’s hard to separate the two of you..

She clings to you, cry for you when you’re gone for too long, feeds you if she’s really into you..

People don’t really see her as a threat and that’s only until she threatens to eat them.. when she gets like that people make sure to leave you be because the really aren’t sure if Volta will actually do it but with that bright playful but warning look in her eyes they don’t want to put it past her.

Vlastomil

Vlastomil kinda has that same oblivious energy in him as Lucio or Nadia however it may seem like he doesn’t know what he’s doing is wrong but he really does.

He’s a demon, he knows how to play with humans but the thing is what he does is just him trying to understand himself better. Before you he only cared about his worm and now you were here.

He pretty much treats you like he treats Wriggler.. you’re very dear to him and let anything happen to you he’ll make sure everyone around knows how he feels. Whether it’s crying, shouting or simply anxiously looking for you.

He fears with other humans you’ll either get taken from him or get hurt but them and neither one of those are things he’s ok with obviously.

He’s a tricky demon, he may trick you into believing his morals verses your own.

“I love you dear! That’s why he has to go.. you don’t want him to hurt you yes?” He’ll manage to make you believe that everything he does is for you. If you have any sort of trauma he might even use that against you so be extra careful.

Valerius

I can see Valerius being much like Muriel but worse. He likes to stalk and watch you from afar until he can figure what’s the best route to take and going about getting to you.

He’s almost relieved you come to him first. The relationship is rather.. bumpy. At times he’ll be grumpy for no reason and sometimes you can get tired of that but anytime you threaten to leave him he gets you into bed a second faster and distracts you.

I can see him either being a good or bad yandere.. there’s no in between. Either he knows exactly how to keep you to himself or he struggles doing so which only frustrates you. You can say he takes some of that frustration out on you but he tries not to because the last thing he needs in to tell Lucio you ran off and have a bunch of guards chase you down.

Oh that’s right, Lucio helps him when it comes to reeling you in and keeping you their. It’s scary but how are yo to go against the Count and his Consul?

Valerius might say some really cruel things to you to make you stay. He doesn’t want to even think about you leaving him. The second he saw you was the same second he fell for you. He might question his own emotions a lot but after a while of simply stalking or having other people stalk you and report back to him, he can tell it is you that he wants.

Vulgora

Vulgora is one of the bad ones you can get. Their aggressiveness and bluntness can be scary so when you need to escape them not many will be willing to help you. Many might even be on their side out of fear of what the war demon can do.

I feel like Vulgora is one of these two yandere types if not both.

Either the type that uses anger as a way to express themselves even if they don’t want to. Like, they care very deeply about you but they are one of the courtiers who don’t understand these emotions.. it frustrates them to not understand and it makes them angry. They try not to take that anger out on you and usually ends it with taking the life of a mortal.. or a couple considering one isn’t enough.

The other type is the yandere who can’t hold their temper and simply wants you because they can have you. It’s a possessive thing.. no one can have you but them.

They won’t hesitate in killing for you and if you ask or grow scared they would try to say they didn’t do it. They’ll be honest. What are you going to do about it.. fight them? Leave them? Oh darling they believe you’re too smart to do something stupid like either one of those..

They’ll leave their mark on you, usually biting because even if there’s very few beings with teeth like theirs in the palace everyone know the deep marks belong to someone dangerous and usually people put a distance with you.

People might be scared of you for simply being trapped and stuck with them. Poor thing..

Valdemar

Go ahead and just pass away sis, we ain’t making it away from this one..

In all honesty Valdemar might be the worse yandere out of this group. Vulgora following after as well as Lucio, Vlastomil, and maybe Julian..

Now it’s either they don’t care about your feelings at all and well make sure you know it or they care far too much to let you out of their sight. Valdemar might be persistent to test on you and might do it even if you don’t want to but also they might grow worried about your safety if they do do it.

You’re like their precious little specimen and no matter what you do they are always watching. You can’t even escape them after death because they are death. There’s simply no escape.

It’s been centuries since they’ve felt as strongly for someone as they did you and that person didn’t make it to where they are now.. they refuse to let that happen again..

If you try to run from them they’ll have beings chase you, they’ll make you run for your life and when you come crying for help they’ll cackle in your face. They want you to know you can’t live without them and once that’s drilled into your head they’ll never allow you to ever get away.

#arcana game #the arcane game #count lucio #the arcana asra #julian devorak #the arcana game portia #nadia satrivana #the arcana muriel #quaestor valdemar #pontifex vulgora #procurator volta #praetor vlastomil #consul valerius #yandere #yandere arcana #x reader

[artistlara]

🎐PINNED POST ✦﹒₊

I don’t think home’s a place, rather a person. Being in someones arms is home for me

Outdated, check new pinned here

꒰ abt info below the cut! ꒱

Hello hello ! ~ヾ(＾∇＾) welcome to my humble abode. Take a seat, get comfy and have some tea🍵

There’s not much going on here other than a few reblogs, art, and some incoherent rambles but make yourself feel at home while you’re here! <3

Some stuff to note:

This is not a self-ship blog BUT I do post self shipping art and the likes of it. If you’re not comfy with that then you’re free to mute the tag “self ship” or just don’t follow me! (If you’re curious abt who my f/o’s are then here’s a carrd!)

My inbox is open for requests! It may take a lot of time before I actually get to it, but you’re free to send in your oc or a character u like! I still have the right to decline though.

English is not my first language. I’d say I can speak fluent english but I do still get some words wrong here and there. So please be patient with me if I don’t fully understand something.

My art is free to use as icons/pfp and such! Please just credit me somewhere people can see. The only thing I don’t allow are resposts. (For Friends: Credit isn’t needed but v appreciated :D dw abt using my art!)

I’ll add more to this when I remember anything else but for now this can do. Below are more info abt me and my interests!

ABOUT ME🍵

Call me Lara! I also go by Lin or Art so choose ur pick. Any other nicknames are for friends only ty

I'm a minor but not below 16, so please don't be weird!

I sometimes draw! I’m usually busy irl so I’m not able to draw often, but I try!

I'm asian, not comfy on specifying where I'm from (unless we’re close) so that's all I'll say

I have an Insta but it’s quite dead. I’m a lil more unhinged here on Tumblr so this is ur best bet to seeing what I have to offer.

CURRENT INTERESTS🍡

bold - what i’m currently fixated on

italic - i’m into it rn and down to talking abt it!

Sky COTL

Friday Night Funkin’

Genshin Impact

‼️ All my Genshin art is PLATONIC unless I state otherwise (this also excludes the self ship art). I do ship certain characters but I’d rather keep things in a platonic light most of the time bc I yearn for more familial/platonic fanart.

Eddsworld

‼️ All my Eddsworld art revolving around the main cast is PLATONIC. Please do not tag any of it with ship tags. The only ship I’ll allow being tagged is “paultryck.” The way I portray Pau and Pat is ambiguous, so you‘re free to view it as either platonic or romantic!

Other Interests I don’t actively talk abt but they’re here!

Technoblade (not d/s/m/p)

Cuphead

Mystic Messenger

Cells at Work!!

PS. I don’t usually like associating myself in the fandom since it can be a whole trainwreck sometimes! So these are labelled “current interests” than “fandoms I’m in.” I’d rather stay in my little corner to vibe and have fun. <3

My tags are a mess and I should probably fix them at some point but here’s some basics:

#🍵lara does art- art tag basically, you’ll find all the art I posted from (mostly) doodles to (a few) finished pieces.

#🍵rb - all the stuff I reblog pretty much

#🌻friends! - a tag I use for my friends whenever it’s abt them <3 they all have separate tags for names.

#🍵the introvert wants to speak - text posts aka my incoherent rambles abt my thoughts and such, dunno if you’ll go thru it but just letting u know.

I’ll add more if needed. Please do let me know if you want me to tag certain things! Majority of my warnings have either cw or tw before it.

Well that’s all, if you ever end up following me I hope u enjoy ur stay! 🍶

Will add more if I remember stuff or smth changes <3

#🎐pinned post #important

[soupiie-stories]

I posted 46 times in 2021

36 posts created (78%)

10 posts reblogged (22%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.3 posts.

I added 115 tags in 2021

#brahms heelshire - 19 posts

#slasher x reader - 14 posts

#slasher - 14 posts

#🪨 :steph - 11 posts

#the boy 2016 - 10 posts

#vincent sinclair - 10 posts

#🔪 :slasher - 10 posts

#bo sinclair - 10 posts

#lester sinclair - 9 posts

#brahms x reader - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 118 characters

#im making my boyfriend stay on call with me while i sleep bc i have a very active imagination that likes to torture me

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

hi !!! if ur ok with it, could i get a few headcanons of brahms with a transmasc partner? thank u! (≧∇≦)

Of course >w<

🧶🔨🧃📞♟

brahms would accept you but also be curious

you'd teach him about everything and he'd be so patient and nice when listening

too scared to ask questions but will hint at things he wants to know about

since he was raised in a very proper household, he wouldn't know what a lot o things are and most likely wouldn't want to be rude and make you leave

he was expecting a nanny like the rest but wasn't mad when you showed up

as long as you treat him right and take care of him, he's happy

will tell you sweet things and make you feel safe when feeling dysphoric

he doesn't like seeing his lover sad or upset

he doesn't treat you any differently other than wanting to know about stuff and doing the lil head tilt whenever he hears or sees something he doesn't know

🧶🔨🧃📞♟

i hope you like ! :)

64 notes • Posted 2021-11-14 23:26:47 GMT

#4

What if Brahms found out the reader is a vampire? And after a while the reader told Brahms that she wants to turn him into a vampire like her because she loves him and doesn't want to lose him because of age or anything else, how would he react?

(if he agrees, when he turns into a vampire, all his stains from the fire will disappear)

🧶🔨🧃📞♟

I love this. He would definitely be down to be a vampire, but maybe a little reluctant because he doesn't believe in them. You'd have to show him and prove to him that you're real.

"Brahms, I promise i'm telling the truth. Look, I'll prove it." You then proceed to make your fangs visible. Brahms gasped but isnt afraid. He pokes them to make sure they're real. "See, I told you I was telling the truth."

Once you turn him, he thinks it is so weird that he's dead... but 'alive'. He doesn't want to drink blood prissy bitch but will eventually suck it up (see what i did there) .

"Now you can be mine forever. For real."

🧶🔨🧃📞♟

(i felt that this ask fit this style of answering. i like it buuutttt i might refine it to fit me more)

99 notes • Posted 2021-11-06 10:19:29 GMT

#3

Maybe headcannons for bakugo, kiri, and another character of ur choice for a reader w/acne? There’s not enough love for acne havin folks :(

a/n I love this request so much. I hope i did it justice <3

Bakugo

- Anytime you feel down about your acne and it impacts your self-esteem, he immediately gives you kisses all over your face

- Hates loves skincare routines with you even though he won’t say it

- Constantly tells you that he doesn’t mind your acne because he doesn't

- He thinks it hilarious when he walks into the dorm kitchen and sees you making a random concoction of stuff for your skin

- You try to get him to stop eating chips because you don’t want him to get acne as well

- Never says anything bad about your skin to his friends or you

- Will call you names to make fun of you but you both know he doesn’t mean it

Kirishima

- Like Bakugo, he LOVES doing skincare with you because to him it’s manly’

- Listens to you when you say not to eat greasy food

- Likes kissing every single inch of your face while you’re asleep even though you’re secretly awake

- Goes out to buy you whatever acne wash you ask for

- Complains when you wear a lot of makeup to cover it up, even though he thinks you look beautiful, but because he thinks it covers your natural beauty

- If you ask him to only drink water with you, he will in a heartbeat because he doesn’t want you to do it alone

Deku

- I personally think that Deku would have stretch marks from bulking up so quickly

- In turn, you would both cater to each other’s insecurities and would bond over it

- Will help you make different mixtures for acne and scarring

- Would gladly be your test dummy for makeup bc you break out easily

- If you feel particularly insecure one day, he will give you a spa day so you feel better

- Light butterfly kisses™

- Eats healthy with you because he doesn’t want you to be left out although you have designated cheat days which he kinda approves of

105 notes • Posted 2021-03-07 20:45:27 GMT

#2

Wanting - Brahms x gn! reader

Genre: hurt / comfort / fluff / angst

Pronouns: they / them

Words: 1.5k

Requested by @riverxxxo

Warnings: self harm (punching legs), wound, blood, mentions words cut and stab

It was a muggy day at the Heelshire Mansion, the wind was blowing rapidly against the windows, leaves being thrown about, and rain lightly pittering on the roof. There was said to be a big storm coming that would last for a few days. Y/n and Brahms were sitting in the parlor, watching an old movie on tape on the only t.v. in the whole house, the crackly audio being the only sound coming from within the house. Brahms had agreed that the rules could be bent today for them to watch a few movies and read together. They both had a mutual infatuation with each other but were both too shy to say so. Brahms wanted them to stay forever, and believed that they were going to, no matter what. Y/n knew that they couldn’t leave him, they had grown to love the mysterious man in the walls and hadn’t wanted to leave anyways. There was nothing for them outside of the house, this was where they felt safe.

After the movie, the pair stood up and began heading to the upstairs hall for bedtime. Breathing shakily, y/n decided that they were going to make a move, they were going to initiate the hopeful relationship. Praying that Brahms felt the same towards them, they were tired of waiting for him to make the first move. As they got to the hall, they gently grabbed Brahms’ arm to stop him. He turned around with a slight head tilt, confused as to why he was halted. They looked up at him and stepped closer, gently caressing the side of his masked face and leaned in to kiss the cold porcelain lips of the mask. Brahms' hands gently grabbed their waist, wanting them to be closer. Y/n’s hands held his face as they rested their forehead against his, breathing in each other's scent. Slowly creeping their hands around the back of his head to the string holding the mask onto his face, they lifted it over his head and began to slip the mask off of him. Brahms quickly jolted back, grabbing y/n’s wrist with his right hand, a small whimper coming from them, and holding the mask to his face with the other. “Why!?” his voice boomed from his chest. He was furious, thinking that he could trust that they understood that he was insecure about his scars that he tries so hard to forget about.

“I-I’m sorry.. Please let g-go Brahms.” Y/n was shaking, knowing how bad he can be when he’s angry, they didn’t want to anger him anymore than he already was. With one swift motion, Brahms let go and shoved past y/n, walking heavily into his room and into the walls where he went quiet. Y/n slowly stood from the floor and noticed the blood seeping through their shirt where a small statuette had stabbed them when they fell. Holding their side, they ran to their room and quickly locked both the closet and main door in case Brahms came out. They went to the bathroom and began treating their wound, not realizing that they had been crying this whole time. Tears ran relentlessly down their face as they realized the weight of what they had done. All the trust that had built up between the two of them had been ripped away in an instant.

Brahms had run off to his loft with haste, throwing the mask onto his bed, he felt all of the anger he had, burn up into sadness and regret. The look on y/n’s face when he spoke was enough to make him drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness but he was too caught up in the moment to notice. He felt betrayed by them, he had been too afraid to take off the mask and not at all ready in the slightest, and they thought that they could rush it and do it themselves? He was confused, sad, angry, but slightly relieved. Was that their way to tell him that they loved him like he loved them. He hoped that once he calmed down and understood what he was feeling, they would still love him.

A small sob ripped him from his thoughts, he had calmed down and was now only feeling bad for running away and yelling at y/n. He silently made his way to y/n’s room and peered through the wall to see them on their bed with their head in hands sobbing. Brahms noticed a red patch at their side and wondered what it was. Had they been bleeding? How? His thoughts were interrupted yet again when they lifted up their shirt to reveal the wound that was now caked with dried blood and needed to be bandaged. He watched as they cleaned it off with peroxide and placed a big bandage over it, wrapping it around themselves to secure it. He crept into the hall only to see a small statue with blood on one side, this was where they fell. Brahms’ head buzzed with the fact that he hurt them, he made them bleed. The thought of it made him sick, he loved them, how could he hurt someone he loves. He made his way back to his loft, crying silently at the thought of y/n crying because of him.

🧶🔨🧃📞♟

It had been a few days, the wound on y/n’s side had gotten smaller and been healing. They were now cleaning Brahms' childhood bedroom when they heard whimpers coming from below them. Worried, they sat still and waited to hear it again before reacting. Upon hearing it a second time, they crawled into the door in the closet they knew led to Brahms loft room. It was time they spoke to him, they needed to talk about what happened. Y/n didn't want anything to change between them, they didn’t want Brahms to avoid or ignore them. They cherished their relationship and wanted to apologize for what they did.

After walking through the walls for about 10 minutes, they found Brahms room, the whimpering had gotten louder and they knew that he wasn’t doing well. They stood in the doorway, grunts and whimpers could be heard feet in front of them. Y/n stepped forward and saw Brahms hunched over and repeatedly punching himself in the thighs. From the force he was putting into the punches, there had to be bruises forming. Y/n didn’t know it but he had been doing this since he saw them bleeding. They slowly walked towards him, careful not to make noise to scare him. He saw their sock clad feet and sat up straight but didn’t look them in the eye. “Brahms… w-what’s wrong?” They spoke softly. Brahms sniffed and looked up at them slowly, his face was rid of the mask giving y/n a perfect view of his scar littered mug. They saw all the hurt and raw emotion in his eyes, showing that he was deeply hurt and sorry for what he did. Although y/n didn’t see it as anything terrible, just a cut, Brahms felt like the worst person in the world. He hurt the one person who’d be with him forever.

“I hurt you. So I hurt myself. Fair.” Brahms' voice was a mixture of a childs and a mans. He was trying his best not to break down right there in front of them.

“Hey, it’s okay, please don’t hurt yourself,” They took a seat next to him and slowly rubbed his back, “I’m okay, it was only a cut, you didn’t mean to do it.” Y/n used a soft voice that they used when saying goodnight to Brahms, he found comfort in this and took a deep breath. Leaning into their touch, he turned towards them and leaned for a hug. Y/n accepted this and wrapped their arms around his trembling frame. They squeezed him tightly, wanting him to know that they forgive him. Brahms buried his face into y/n’s neck, breathing in the calming smell of them. They were his home, they were where he felt safest. Y/n felt the same, they wanted to be in Brahms’ arms forever.

After what felt like forever of savoring the moment, the two parted but stayed close. Staring at each other with what could only be described as love. Y/n grasped Brahms’ face, he melted into their hands and slowly leaned down towards them. They met in the middle, lips gently grazing one anothers. All of the pent up emotion brewing between the two had been released. They clumsily grasped at one another, Brahms’ hands finding themselves at y/n waist and neck, pulling them close. Y/n’s hands holding Brahms’ face as close as they can. They were gripping each other as if their life depended on it. With heavy breaths, they pulled away, resting foreheads to one another, basking in the moment for as long as they could.

“I love you.” Brahms had whispers under his breath, needing with every bone in his body for them to say it back.

“I love you too.” Y/n hushed back, wrapping their arms around the relived and blissful Brahms, holding him tight.

That night, for the first and certainly not the last time, Brahms fell asleep happy, utterly and truly happy. Holding one another, they slept soundly in the walls of the Heelshire Mansion, not to be bothered.

228 notes • Posted 2021-11-02 21:44:28 GMT

#1

Living with / Dating Brahms would include

a/n this is my first time writing for Brahms. I've been hyperfixated on him for about a week now and today it was very strong so i decided to write again. I'm very surprised with how much i wrote but i am proud. Anywho, enjoy :)

Very Clingy… like all the time. You go to the kitchen, he’s coming out of the pantry wall. You’re emptying the traps, he’s staring at you through the windows and various peeking holes he has. Privacy does not exist for to this fella.

No more showering by yourself, he needs to be bathed by you or he won’t bathe at all. Although he will not wash himself, he will occasionally help to wash you. Scaring you almost every time he grabs the sponge and starts washing your back.

He learned what face masks were and will only do them about once every 2 months but you have to cut out the part where his scar is because it gets irritated easily.

I believe that his parents didn't help care for his burns so they haven't healed well. For that reason, he is very hesitant to let you help care for the burns. You put some medicated creams on them that make them not hurt and he kisses you all over your face.

CUDDLES ALL THE TIME. Since he is so clingy, you guys cuddle all the time. At first, he was hesitant to hold you in fear that you would be scared of him or push him away. After showing him that you don’t mind cuddles, that was all the answer he needed to jump into bed with you and hold you all night. That was the best sleep he had gotten in 20 years.

Although he expects you to do everything for him, he learns after a while (and a couple arguments) that he also needs to do things to help out. He starts by being your assistant in the kitchen and you both learn that he is a very good cook. Then he helps out with cleaning and tidying. He doesn’t like it that much but he gets to spend time with you and even go outside so he’ll do it anyways.

This man does not know how to shave. Period. You show him how to trim his beard and chest hair. You even do it for him the first couple of times but soon tell him that he has to do it himself (even though he makes you stand in the bathroom with him while he does it).

He lets you leave the house to go shopping for clothes and food that Malcolm doesn't bring, once a month. He tells you what he likes to wear and if he doesn’t like something, he will let you know immediately. He likes to wear neutral colors like tans and brown. He does have a couple pairs of sweatpants that you got him as pajamas that he wears all the time.

You read to him when he’s upset because it’s the only way to make him not be a total asshole to you. He loves you very much but when he’s upset or jealous, it’s best to let him roam the walls and stay your separate ways.

Fixing the holes in his cardigan. He loves that green cardigan and wears it all the time (even when its hot). You don’t mind though because it looks hot on him.

He trusts you but still wears the mask most of the time around you, besides sleeping, showering and eating.

I saw from another person that they head cannon that he does not sit still when eating and I 100% believe that. One minute you set down his plate of food and turn around for a napkin and he’s gone. He’s off wandering the walls and chewing. You hear his loud footsteps through the library and then the parlor. When he’s done though, he always comes back and tells you it was good and puts his plate in the sink.

729 notes • Posted 2021-10-30 04:54:40 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[chuckbass-love]

Fic where Chris accidentally gets a girl pregnant( could be a random girl he’s sleeping with or maybe a friend, up to you) he’s super freaked out and tells his mom and family for advice on what to do. But they reprimand him first

Hi lovely anon...

So i received two requests about pregnancy with Chris. One of which is this one and the second is Chris as a teen getting a girl pregnant so i’ll do both as separate fics. This one as adult Chris and the other as it was requested. 

I’m sorry to the anon who requested this since i’ve taken a long time to write it. But i hope the wait has been worth it after you read.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than my Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Warning: Smut! Sex, vaginal fingering, oral (f receiving), pregnancy reveal, swearing and fluff.18+

Word Count: 5,061

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @jckcriley go check them out❤️

Unexpected

“W-what?” you can’t help but almost choke on your beer as the unexpected words leave your friend of 6 years mouth.

“You heard me” he smirks, sipping on his own beer and leaning back on the couch. His eyes remain locked on yours.

“Chris, maybe you’ve had a bit too much to drink” you giggle, reaching over to take his drink but he pulls it out of the way so you can’t “I’m practically sober, Y/N. You mean to tell me you’ve never thought of me that way?” he raises a brow at you, the one look that always has you secretly wanting to jump his bones.

Sure he’s your friend and has been for 6 years but that doesn’t mean you’ve never had sexual thoughts and fantasies about him. Thoughts and fantasies that have been intruding your rational side for as long as you can remember. But you got used to the friend zone and you have no one else to blame but yourself for remaining there. 

Whenever Chris has been single, you’ve been tempted to swoop in and admit your feelings but quickly aborted that mission, refusing to put yourself in a position to be rejected. 

And now, he’s sat in front of you at your house admitting that he’s always had a crush on you. You’re shocked and it shows. 

Your silence to his question and your failure to keep eye contact gives you away. Why does he have to make you so nervous?

“You have, haven’t you?” he closes the gap between the two of you, taking your beer from you and placing both his and yours on the coffee table before turning your head so that his lustful eyes meet your shy ones.

He doesn’t miss the way your breathing hitches at the feel of his lips grazing across yours without kissing you and he certainly doesn’t miss the way you shiver at the feel of his thick digits dancing down your right arm slowly.

“Chris” you whine, in hopes that he’d just give in and kiss you already. After all, it’s been a long time coming. But instead he lowers his head to your shoulder, pressing a chaste kiss to the exposed skin before moving to your ear. His breath fans your earlobe and his beard tickles your skin “what is it baby?” his whispering has you gasping, more so at the intimate nickname than anything else.

“We shouldn’t do this, it’ll ruin our-”

“What? Our friendship? Well i’m down for that if you are” he licks your earlobe, biting it a little too.

Again, your breath hitches and your heart skips more than just a beat as his lips are now inches from your own and the beer fills yours nose.

Before you even have a chance to stop it, his soft lips meet yours. Moving in sync, almost as if they were made to kiss.  His beard yet again tickles your skin, no doubt it’s gonna leave a burn all over after he’s finished with you.

It takes a couple of seconds for you to realise what’s going on but when you do, you let go and it’s incredible. Your arms wrap around his neck loosely and he pulls you onto his lap so that you’re straddling him.

A quick break for a breath of fresh air is taken before going back to it, the two of you going at it more like life long lovers than old friends. You can’t help but wonder if you’re the only friend of his he’s had these kinds of feelings towards. Or if you’re the only one full stop.

“Wait” you push him away slowly, looking right into his eyes “am i the only one?” your question has his brows furrowing in confusion.

“What?” his chuckle leads you to smile “am i the only friend you find attractive? The only friend you’ve thought about in this way?”

“Yes”

And you believe him.

“I never thought i could pursue anything because of the way we are together. The nicknames, the way you act like one of the guys. I just didn’t think it was ever a possibility”

He’s saying all of the right things and right here, right now. You don’t wanna second guess him, so you pull him back to you, kissing him like your life depends on it.

And he just reciprocates the same energy but with a twist. His hands find their way to your ass cheeks underneath your tennis skirt. He gives your soft globes a little squeeze, earning an excited squeal from you which only turns him on more. 

“God this skirt. It drives me crazy every time you wear it” he groans as his kisses turn to open mouthed ones along your jawline and down your neck to your sweet spot.

You gotta admit, you could say the same thing to him about his body. Whenever his shirts are open a little to reveal his chest and his tattoos or whenever his biceps bulge out of the shirt sleeves. You feel your legs turn to jelly and it’s hard to play it cool.

“I need you” you blurt out, causing him to take action. He spins you around quicker than you can even keep up with. Your legs are spread apart and now the only thing stopping him from ruining your tight cunt is the thin piece of cotton covering it. Not for long though.

“Oh yeah, how do you need me baby?” his hands graze your inner thighs and more arousal soaks your panties “I need you to touch me” you beg and your head falls back, resting on his shoulder. You look up at him before closing your eyes as you feel the pads of his fingers press down on your bundle of nerves.

“What, like this?” his mouth begins to suck on your neck, no doubt leaving marks for everyone to see tomorrow. 

All you can muster is a lazily mumbled “mhmm yes” and that’s all he needs to reach his hands inside. The way his fingers run through your folds before circling your dripping hole is like a feeling you’ve never experienced. Probably because the one and only time you’ve ever been intimate with someone was the quick rubbing of your clit and missionary. Hardly adventurous.

Chris however, has experience. And there’s obviously a reason Minka and Jenny went back for more, right?

Or at least you assume so. Plus many drunken conversations with Jenny gave away some details that at the time had you jealous as fuck. But now, you’re aching with the anticipation of what’s to come tonight.

For example. One party that Chris hosted. You and Jenny were bonding over tequila. 

Tara left the group just as she got into it and you can’t say you blamed her at the time. Tara and Chris are best friends and it would be weird for her to take an interest in his sex life shenanigans.

But since you and Chris have only ever been friends, not best friends, you stuck around. If you hadn’t then god knows who Jenny would have told.

She was practically drooling over the sight of him across the room, starting the conversation with a simple “how sexy is he?” almost like she expected you to agree, which you didn’t. Despite agreeing in your head of course.

“Oh you should have seen him last night Y/N, that mouth of his. Jesus. He was like an animal. I’ve never cum so many times from oral”

The memory in itself has you moaning and bucking your hips up into his hand, yearning for more.

His hand pulls from your panties and his fingers hook into the sides of them. He lifts your legs with one hand as his other slides them down and off, discarding them halfway across the room. Not that you care where they land.

The way his arms wrap around both of your thighs, parting your legs whilst they reach down to rub firm circles on your aching and needy pussy, is almost like he’s wanted this as long as you have. Which of course is most likely true since he’s already admitted to crushing on you secretly.

“Please, Chris, i need it” your impatient self can’t control the hunger, but he has other plans.

“All in good time, let me take care of you Y/N”

His thick digits circle your hole once again before two of them slip inside without even a single warning. You’re not used to the feeling but after a couple of pumps in and out, he starts curling them against that familiar spongy spot which makes you forget the stretch you experienced just seconds ago. 

Now everything that Jenny said makes sense.

“Fuck, yes. Don’t stop” your hand grips his wrist as you start to grind your hips in circles, wanting to feel the palm of his hand against you throbbing clit. And with your impending first orgasm of many to come, you can’t help but arch your back.

“Gonna cum already, huh? Come on baby, cum for me” he eggs, a third finger adding to the equation. Just what you needed to fall off the cliff in his arms. Your legs shake and your breathing quickens “just like that baby, cum all over these fingers” and you do. 

Your arousal drips down his fingers, making the mess he urged you to. 

Once he rides you through your high, he pulls out, lifting them to his mouth and the second they come into contact with each other, he’s slurping and sucking them clean.

The sight itself is probably enough to make you cum all over again but before you can, he’s manoeuvring you so that he’s carrying you into your bedroom and laying you down.

More clothes are tossed onto the floor until the two of you are in nothing but your birthday suits and you gotta say, his size is more than impressive.

“Such a beautiful body, might have to keep you like this all the time” he smirks, hovering above you, his huge biceps either side of your head. He lowers his head down so he can capture your lips in a quick but passionate kiss and you can tell this isn’t just a quick hook up to him. Or at least, that’s the way it seems.

You hope.

His lips linger for a couple of seconds before they lower to the valley between your breasts and he inhales your scent instantly, breathing you in like the smoke from a cigarette.

“Smell so good baby. Always smell so good” his fingers tweak at your nipples as the kisses continue, moving lower and lower until he’s face to face with your cunt.

It’s only natural for you to expect some kind of teasing from him but he takes you by surprise by devouring you like a 3 course meal with no feather like touches or dirty talk to get you to beg for his filthy mouth.

“And you taste good too, always knew you would”

The words have you covering your face and the feel of his head shaking on you has you closing your legs on it. The scratching of his beard on your thighs is both awful and incredible all at once. You just simply can’t get enough, running your fingers through his messed up locks and grinding your pussy on his tongue as he sticks it out for you to use as much as you like.

“Gonna make this sweet pussy cum once more before i fuck it, that okay, baby?”

No words are needed, he knows you want it. So he dives back in, spreading your pussy folds and blowing air on your clit before his lips wrap around it for him to suck.

"Cum on my tongue baby, i know you can, give it to me, let me get another taste” he coos and you find your body shaking. 

Seconds later, after his words of encouragement and his tongue fucking you. You release for the second time tonight, all over his skilful tongue. You prop yourself up onto your elbows to watch as he makes sure no drop is wasted before he kisses his way back up to you.

As soon as his tongue slips into your mouth, battling with yours, you can taste your sweet arousal and it drives you crazy.

You wrap your legs around his waist and he buries his face in the crook of your neck as he lines himself up “you sure you wanna do this?” he asks, pulling away to look at you, unsure on whether you truly want this but why wouldn’t you want this?

“Chris, i’m sure” you convince, cupping his face with both hands and all of a sudden your pussy is stretching to accommodate his size as he slides home with no pauses to get you used to it. You knew the moment that you saw his cock that it would hurt a little. But the pain soon subsides and is replaced with pleasure.

His thrusting pace picks up immediately and your legs tighten around him as your urge to have him deeper consumes you

“Shit” he grunts, hissing at the feel of your warm walls fluttering around him perfectly, he can’t say this is anything like his many fantasies because the honest truth is it isn’t. It’s better, way better.

Having you underneath him, panting and moaning like he’s always dreamed makes him think heaven is right here with you. A place on earth.

“Taking this cock so well baby, feel good huh?” his voice raspy and gentle at the same time even though the way he’s ploughing into you is far from it. 

“Yes. God yes. Chris i’m gonna cum” you mewl frantically, feeling your walls clamp down on him hard as if he’ll leave if you don’t. And if you’re being completely honest with yourself, you don’t want to ever be without him now, you want this for life. You’ve come so far, you’re knee deep in feelings for this man and you hope he’s on the same page.

“Fuck. Cum with me baby, i’m right there with you” his grunting and growling turn to moans that could resemble that of a porn star. So hot and like music to your ears.

The room is filled with the sound of his skin slapping against yours and the sounds of pleasure from the two of you merging into one with little sweat droplets adorning both your foreheads.

“Oh fuck, squeeze me again baby”

“Just” thrust “like” thrust “that” 

“Chris, don’t stop” you plead as your toes begin to curl, his head drops so his lips can meet yours the second he spots signs of the coil snapping within you.

And when it does, he’s sucking all of the air from your lungs and muffling your moans.

The way your walls spasm around him spurs his own release on, he twitches a couple times before finally releasing inside of you and painting your walls.

Shockwaves rush through you and you still can’t believe you just had sex with your friend. 

Maybe it’ll hit you in the morning and you fear the unknown reaction from the man himself. What if he regrets it? What if you do? Whatever happens, you can’t change the results, all you can do is bask in the glory of this moment finally coming to life after a million times where you’ve over thought how this would go down.

He eventually pulls out, falling down to the spot on the bed beside of you, panting too.

“Well that’s certainly not what i expected to happen tonight” you giggle.

Chris has to say, he feels relieved. All those sneaky glances your way and all those nights out where he was dying to kiss you have finally stopped. Because now he doesn’t have to hide it away, you know and you feel the same. 

Having you in his arms now as he pulls you to rest your head on his chest after mind blowing and romantic sex. All of your desires have come true.

“Me neither. What does this mean for us now though?” the question you were saving for tomorrow but you’re thanking the lord that he’s asked first.

“I was going to ask the same thing. But i don’t know, i guess if you want to then we could maybe go on a date, see where things go?” he lifts your head up with his finger under your chin and the second your eyes meet, he kisses you hard.

“I’d love to take you out”

“So, that’s a yes?” 

He can’t help but laugh nervously “it’s the easiest yes i’ve ever had to give, i can’t wait. But maybe now we should sleep?" before he even finishes talking you’re yawning and closing your eyes. 

And with a quick peck on your forehead, you both get under the covers and drift off.

---------------------

*4 weeks later*

A month after your hookup with Chris and you’ve already had your first date.

He invited you to his place where he had a 3 course meal waiting, that he cooked himself.

Quite impressive and it was actually edible which made you suspect that he had Lisa’s help.

Though he would never admit that to you because he wanted to impress and of course he did.

You’ve not seen him all week, only spoke to him over text or FaceTime since he’s been super busy with work. Meetings galore for upcoming projects. You respect that with his career though, this dating business is going to be a lot like your friendship has been. There’s nothing you can do about it but to tell the truth, you’re kinda glad he’s not been around.

It all started last week when you were puking constantly, your boobs were unbelievably sore and the nausea has been out of this world. 

The puking has been mostly in the mornings but this morning was the worst. All of these things had you racking your brain, there had to be a reason behind it and when you calculated the days for your period, you realised you were a week late.

So you drove down to the store, picking up some water and snacks as well as a pregnancy test.

The second you returned home, you rushed to the bathroom to take it and let’s just say waiting for the results to show were the longest few minutes of your life. Your legs were shaking as were your hands. When the timer stopped, you took a deep breath before glancing down to meet your fate.

It reads ‘pregnant’ on the clear blue stick.

How the fuck is Chris gonna take this?

The thought alone makes you want to puke so you quickly drop to your knees, spewing your lunch into the toilet.

This is your life well and truly ruined,

-------------------

Chris knocks on your door, waiting patiently for you to answer and let him in. As soon as he sees your exhausted face, his smile fades.

“What’s wrong?” worry fills his voice and it hurts even more.

Yeah sure, he’s 39 and you’re 30. But does he really want a kid this soon with you. You know he wants to be a dad and he has done for a long time. But even so, it’s way too soon. It’ll be like taking 5 giant leaps when you’ve only just admitted to liking one another a couple weeks back.

“Come sit down” your voice monotone and serious, scaring him further.

“Baby?” he asks but you ignore, taking more deep breaths.

“Look, i don’t really know how to go about this and i’m terrified” you gulp, looking away from him and fidgeting in your seat “so for the last week or so i’ve been experiencing some things. Sickness, nausea and my boobs have been hurting and feeling very sore. You know all that already. But this morning was the worst. I puked so much that i almost fainted when i went to stand” 

You can practically see his hands shaking too, still refusing to look him in the eye which is driving him insane.

“Y/N please, what is it?” his patience wearing thin.

Here goes nothing.

“I’m pregnant” 

Now you look at him, his eyes wide, his mouth open slightly.

“What?”

Not a question that needs an answer as you’re pretty sure he’s just shocked.

“I-I don’t know w-what to say”

“I don’t expect you to say anything, Chris. I won’t blame you if you want to walk away now”

Hearing you say that riles him, he forces you to look at him “listen here, i’m not gonna walk away. No chance. Two of us made this baby and two of us are gonna take care of it”

Even with the confidence he’s showing, you know him well enough to see the act. He’s terrified too. But it’s probably best to not bring it up now. 

Tears fall down your face as he pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around you. He can sense that you were worried about being deserted.

But that’s never going to happen. 

“We’ll get through this together okay?”

“Okay”

--------------------------

Days pass and Chris is getting even more scared. The news still hasn’t full sunk in yet. You’re carrying his child and yet he feels like he’s too immature to do this and in this head space, there’s only so many people that he can turn to.

He thought it would be best to share the news with his family alone first since he’s never been in this position before. He’s watched his sister go through it and obviously his mother went through it 4 times with him and his siblings.

This is something he’s wanted for a long time. He doesn’t want to mess it up. So it’s time to get help.

“Ma, it’s me” he calls out, closing the front door and searching the lounge before he hears her call back “kitchen”

As soon as he enters, he finds his sister Carly helping his mom with lunch.

“How’re you” Carly asks, hugging him but his heavy breathing alerts her.

“Chris?”

“I need advice, i’m freaking out” and now his flustered state is abundantly clear.

“Why what’s happened?”

The pair stop in their tracks, focusing all of their attention onto him and gesturing for him to speak.

“So you know me and Y/N decided to give dating a go” they nod “about time too” Lisa jokes.

“Well, turns out. She’s pregnant” he grits his teeth, watching as they freak out too. With Lisa’s mouth hanging open and Carly’s eyes widening.

“Say something please”

“Chris, how could you let this happen so soon?” 

Not the response he was hoping for. 

“I-i”

“Did you even use protection?” Lisa’s eyebrows raise before she bows her head once he shakes his.

“Christopher, you’ve only just started dating this girl and she’s already pregnant. I don’t believe this”

“Chris this isn’t easy you know, pregnancy, parenting. It’s hard and are you sure you two are ready to take such a big step so soon?” Carly adds, calming her voice more than what their mom did.

He doesn’t even have an answer for them.

Because he’s most likely not ready, neither are you but is anyone ever ready to be a parent? Probably not. 

“It’s sleepless nights, long days of tantrums and melt downs. Loud screaming, refusing to eat and a horrendous amount of dirty and smelly nappies. Can you handle all of that? Can she?”

“Look I’m terrified enough as it is and I know it’s not gonna be easy. That’s why I came here in hopes that you would ease my mind about this” he sighs, sitting down at the breakfast bar and scratching the back of his head with Carly taking a seat on the stool beside him.

“How does Y/N feel about it?”

“Scared too, assumed i was just going to leave but i reassured her it would be okay and that i’d never leave”

A proud mother moment for Lisa, she knows in this moment that she’s done a good job with raising him and all of her kids. 

Her life is a constant never ending string of proud mother moments with them. They never cease to amaze her.

“As long as you have us, you’ll be okay but please let this be a lesson to you. Not using protection is so dangerous. Especially when it’s just casual at first, you need to be careful”

They are right. It was reckless too. Drunken nights in with friends that he fancies aren’t the best time for sex. 

Even he can admit that.

“Condoms always” Lisa’s index finger in his face has him laughing and nodding frantically “yes ma’am” they all laugh at his remark and eventually he feels the tense atmosphere leave.

He feels like the news has been accepted.

“God your father might actually pass out when he hears this”

“Can we tell him and everyone else over dinner, tonight maybe. I want Y/N to be here when they find out. I only told you guys because i didn’t know who else to turn to”

“You’re gonna make an amazing father Chris. You just need to believe that and you’ll be set. Am i saying parenting is easy? Certainly not but what i am saying is that i have more than enough faith in you to do this right. You got this, just please do me a huge favour and wrap it up from now on or you’ll end up like me before you know it”

He hugs his sister tight, squeezing her and letting out the biggest deep breath ever “love you. What would i do without you?”

“I honestly don’t know”

Chris says goodbye to them before heading over to your place and Lisa texts the family group chat, asking if everyone is free to join for dinner.

Once you become aware of the plan, you freak out and hours later you’re still deciding what to even dress yourself in. 

“But what am i even going to wear?”

“What if they don’t take it well?"

Chris has to eventually hold you in place to keep you still “you’re starting to resemble that one scene in the grinch baby. Just remain calm. You’ve been around my family loads of times and besides mom and Carly already know. They support us”

He’s right. He’s always right. This is why you two alway got on so effortlessly as friends. He balances your crazy and anxious self out with his calm, cool and collected self.

Plus you both have a shared love for beer, football and cussing non stop. 

“Shit, you’re right” you breathe in and out a couple times before settling on some high waisted jeans and a pink jumper. You match it with some Dr Martens before leaving to go and have that dreaded dinner.

You’ve been around his family before, you keep telling yourself this in hopes that it will calm your nerves. The car journey is short and sweet and now you find yourself walking into his parent’s house.

All eyes in view fixate on you two. Everyone knows you both have become a thing but wait until they know you’re knocked up because neither Chris nor you had the brain cells to suggest using a condom.

“Right everyone, dinner is ready” Lisa shouts and there’s a rush to the dining room with you trailing behind. Chris pulls out a chair for you to sit in before taking his own in a spot next to you.

Grace is said and small talk is made as the entire family dig in. You can see Chris getting ready to speak up and your stomach does loads of little backflips due to all the nerves.

“Everyone, me and Y/N have something we’d like to tell you”

Complete silence in the room and now you want the ground to swallow you up.

“So as you all know, we’re a couple now”

“About fucking time” Scott roars, earning laughs all around.

“Well, we’ve got some news and whilst it’s completely unexpected but we’re very excited to tell you that we’re having a baby” you stand up with him as you take in the reactions.

Some are shocked, some are cheering and smiling and others are just eating. AKA the kids.

Congratulations are tossed your way and Shanna is instantly giving you baby name suggestions whilst Scott is hugging Chris and offering to baby sit already.

“I’m so happy for you and if you ever need a sitter, uncle Scotty is where it’s at” you’ll 100% bare that in mind.

As you take your seats again to tuck into more delicious food courtesy of Lisa, Chris leans in “see, nothing to worry about. You’re family already” and with a kiss to your forehead, he continues with his roasting of Scott.

You couldn’t wish for a better family to be apart of or a better family for your child.

---------------------------

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