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#I guess its a good thing i think this way too? Bc its not uncommon for there to be people out there hoping to manipulate you for their own
liquidstar · 2 months
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wait speaking of getting isekia'd via truck, a couple weeks back me and a friend on were talking abt portal fantasy/isekai tropes (mostly bc i was infodumping abt rz again), and it made me think abt a fun concept for an ocverse. tho its possible similar things have been done obvs with just how inflated the genre is, just hear me out OK
story starts in the normal world, with a typical Nerdy Guy going about his daily life, expositing about how he feels bored and longs for adventure and magic, just like in all of his favorite media. as he's crossing the street, distracted by his mobile game, he doesn't notice The Truck(tm) coming straight towards him. except he's not hit by it- he's pushed out of the way in the last second, saved by a passing girl who gets hit in his place. this is who the story is about now.
mc gets sent to that sort of intermediary dimension that some isekai have, where she meets the Goddess Lady or whatever that was in charge of the whole isekai situation. goddess lady proceeds to freak out, because she nabbed the wrong person, and she's going to be in SO MUCH TROUBLE. she starts questioning the mc, only to find out that this kid has a good social life, does well in school, is in sports, and has barely ever played a video game. basically the opposite of the socially introverted, underachieving, repressed, genre-aware guy she was supposed to have reincarnated. for the sake of fulfilling somekinda hero prophesy or whatever. and the mc kinda bargains to be sent to the fantasy world anyway bc, well, its that or death i guess. so the two of them kinda have to team up to course-correct this mix-up.
mc is kinda given a list of tasks to do that basically mirror how a typical story like this Would Go, expected to fall in line with the tropes in order to achieve the ultimate goal, but kinda ends up failing at all of them... or not? failing backwards, maybe. doing it in a way different from how its meant to go- using the wrong formula, but somehow getting the right solution. while sort of continuing to question the insanity of the whole situation, and the nature of this whole fantasy world. just fucking up all the tropes.
but a layer i'd wanna add on top of all that is the fact that the hero prophesy (or whatever) called for a man. so upon arriving to this new world, the mc is basically put into a "gender swapped" body and... doesnt seem to mind. this isnt an uncommon isekai trope either, but i hardly see it tackled with much care to really explore whole Gender Thing beyond gags about the "mismatch" (which can be in poor taste) or the conclusion that "well because their Body is now this gender, their gender identity changes to match" which i feel is a pretty shallow and binary take-away to draw abt bodies and identity.
but i think there can be more to explore w the prospect if you actually wanna get into gender stuff. in this case, i'd particularly wanna get into the idea of imposter syndrome. the main character was not MEANT to be... the main character. seen as a phony fighting tooth and nail to meet expectations, and constantly fumbling. not a real hero, or a real man. but its meant to be an act anyway, so why does that bother her? it was like that back on earth too, trying as hard as possible to be the perfect girl. a good social life, does well in school, is in sports.... but that good girl thing always felt fake too. or desperate. what was she trying to prove? how long as this BEEN bothering her, actually? why does it feel easier to breathe in this body, despite everything? the way this whole act makes her happy is scary, because its fake isn't it? but wait, which part was fake? the before or after? is it all fake? isn't this all just a mistake?
was it really a mistake? who is more heroic; a guy too focused on a mobile game to pay attention to those around him, or the person who risked their life to save a stranger? but the hero prophesy was for a "man," right? what does that even mean?
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mackspaws · 6 months
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prob gonna organize my posts with tags so things will be easier to find, ima call this one #macks talks because why not, but I need to rant about aiden. i said id use this app more so im gonna
thinking about this old trailer thing makes me sob so hard every single time i remember it. "My Mia. I left her." YOU DID NOTTTTTTTTTTT YOU WERE FIVE
aiden and his savior complex and how he blames HIMSELF when he was quite literally just a little kid. 5 years old. DO YOU KNOW HOW SMALL A 5 YEAR OLD IS??? AND WALTZ PUT SO MUCH ON HIS SHOULDERS WITH MIA. I could rant about Waltz too, geninunely I love him as a character but holy shit it's super fucked up when you think about sure, he cared for Aiden, but he used a kid to save his own, and not just Aiden, SEVERAL kids. he was so obsessed with curing Mia bro fr experimented on literal children to cure her and only to an extent the world, because to him Mia IS his world. Waltz was a father but he wasnt a good one. His love for Mia only ended up hurting not only her and Aiden, but HIMSELF as well. They are such a fucked up little found family and god I love them so much, their dynamic is heartbreaking in the best ways.
just realized this started off as a regular Aiden rant and then delved into all three of them LMFAO WHOOPS but not uncommon for me in the slightest. i have so many thoughts and headcanons because we got way too little of them considering how important both Waltz and Mia are to Aiden's character. Plus you'd think the literal antagonist would have more than 35 minutes of cut scenes but lol guess not. Desperately I need more of them, I know it's highly unlikely for dlc2 considering that part of Aiden's life is pretty much over. So I will make it MYSELF
I have need to draw both of my Mia aus and rant about them too. One of them is a wholesome she lives au, and her and Aiden are happy bc they deserve to be. And another is a very much NOT wholesome au where she's a villain, very much inspired by jinx arcane though in the way she acts rather than backstory fjjgjg. I'm basically stealing her and making her my oc bc she deserves so much better, I hate how we get so little of her, I will forever be salty she quite literally just exists for Aiden's character and DIES in the end. Like I'm fine with her dying because that ending hurt me so bad and I loved how broken it made me but?? the fact that they barely even gave her a personality. we know so little about her and she's supposed to be the protagonist's only reason to keep going. so yeah she deserves better.
at the same time tho, I don't think I'd change what we got. I absolutely adore being able to piece together the story ourselves because the way its told is lowkey confusing and there are things they don't exactly do a good job at explaining, but even with how messy the story can be I LOVE it because what they have is MY SHIT!!! I LOVE A DEPRESSED COCKY PROTAGONIST WITH TRAUMA. I LOVE A FOUND FAMILY. I LOVE THE ANGST. and i LOVE being able to take these characters and add onto them and give them more love because they deserve it.
anyway rant over i think. thanks for reading the word vomit if you did lmfao, literally was just a bit of a barely understandable rant fhhgjg
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psychewritesbs · 1 year
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gege akutami is a menace to society actually
in case you haven't read, I'm talking about 215, so you can ignore me when you're ready
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he saw us have a little hope last week and had to send us tumbling again 😢
it's going to be a tough ride for sure ~
I honestly don't know how they'll be able to handle sukuna at full form bc even with the limitations, he was still countering. It'd be even worse if he's willing to work with kenjaku too. For some reason (denial), I have a feeling megumi's going to overcome this. I won't comment more on that because i feel like i'll spiral (cannot believe maki said its weird seeing megumi's face on someone being strong 😭) On another note, sukuna and co's eventual defeat will be worthwhile for how much suffering they've caused and will cause. Sukuna's choice to leave yuji alive will definitely come back to bite him, but it's interesting that his joy comes from seeing yuji suffer and look pathetic than giving him death. He despises everything about yuji and I see him praising others and he calls yuji boring (he's not but I'll let you live today sukuna). I don't like theorizing too too much for fear of raising expectations, but I'm really curious about sukuna's life during the heian period.
When sukuna and uraume laughed at yuji, I felt like I was laughed at too. I guess we'll be seeing his bath scene next.
Anyway, thanks for reading !! Have a good day/night.
(Will I ever go off anon? We'll see one day !!)
HOLA! Happy JJK-Sunday!!!!
Ok. hang I'm just going to go ahead and...
gege akutami is a menace to society actually
There... I felt like it needed to be said louder for the people in the back who may still be on the fence about getting into JJK.
Ok brainrot about chapter 215 under the cut!
Ah yes, no worries about chapter leaks lol. My weekly routine involves checking leaks first thing Wednesday and Friday mornings and nerding out with the moots about it 😂.
Like I am for real worried about JJK ending because what am I going to obsess over when it ends?!!!!!
WHAT KIND OF NORMAL EXISTENCE WILL I BE FORCED TO ENDURE?!!!!!!
But anyways, I did hold off on posting my reply to you until today (Sunday) for those who follow this hellhole of a blog of mine and don't actually read leaks.
he saw us have a little hope last week and had to send us tumbling again 😢
it's going to be a tough ride for sure ~
Yesssss I was hoping we'd get to see Megumi inside the inner domain wrecking Sukuna or at least inflicting some sort of damage 🥲🤧. SOMETHING! ANYTHING!
Regardless, Megumi fighting Sukuna from within whenever his friends are in danger is so... this boy is so beautiful and he doesn't even get it.
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To your point about this being a though ride, Frenchie is my voice of reason when it comes to my fatalist fear of Megumi's death. @justafrenchlondoner recently said some good stuff about how Gege is probably trying to get us to feel like all hope is lost before something good happens.
After all, it isn't uncommon to see events continue to escalate in a sort of "it's going to get much much worse before it gets better" kind of way.
For some reason (denial), I have a feeling megumi's going to overcome this. I won't comment more on that because i feel like i'll spiral
Riiiiight so I'm still rather unwilling to let myself hope Megumi is surviving for the mere fact that I don't want to be hurt. That's just my nature tho.
If I break my heart now then I won't be heartbroken later on if it turns out that Megumi is not surviving.
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Sound logic as you can see lol. I have a tendency to come up with worst case scenarios.
Despite that, I think the idea of Megumi surviving this ordeal to carry on and change the Jujutsu scheme of things makes a lot of sense. Not to mention having to carry the burden of responsibility for the memory of the people he cared about but lost along the way, quite possibly because of his own miscalculations.
Ugh... depressing.
It's so "Watanabe-ending" in its execution but far, far more depressing, brutal and cruel.
gege akutami is a menace to society actually
On another note, sukuna and co's eventual defeat will be worthwhile for how much suffering they've caused and will cause. Sukuna's choice to leave yuji alive will definitely come back to bite him, but it's interesting that his joy comes from seeing yuji suffer and look pathetic than giving him death.
Yeeeeeeessss. I really like the idea that Sukuna's continued underestimating of Yuji will come back to bite him in the ass. I personally will not be surprised if Yuji takes Sukuna back into himself and then kills himself in a self-sacrificial fashion.
Very Pisces of him. Very dying on the cross for our sins symbolism.
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I was also thinking about the idea that Sukuna feeds off of other's suffering too. This whole idea around him being a hedonist with no regards for others takes on a whole new dimension when you consider he might go out of his way to cause suffering because it brings him joy.
It feels like an exploration of a demonic being which made me realize that I think that I've taken for granted that JJK is a horror story and that Gege may be using horror tropes.
This only become clear to me as of late when Sukuna possessed Megumi's body. It was a total execution of demonic possession where the person who gets possessed has to be mentally weakened in order for the demon to take over.
Also, from my understanding of demonic entities, they are said to feed off of negative emotions and actually orchestrate situations that cause suffering precisely so that they can feed off of these emotions.
When sukuna and uraume laughed at yuji, I felt like I was laughed at too.
I couldn't have said it better...
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I have to admit that this is one of my favorite panels ever because, as you say, it's SO DESPICABLE of them to laugh at Yuji when he's so utterly broken after having miserably failed at saving Megumi.
I have personally been fascinated with the reactions this panel has gotten because it speaks to something very real.
Whether it is the experience of being bullied or our unwillingness and complete rejection of the very same evil that exists within, I feel like Gege struck a deep cord with the execution.
gege akutami is a menace to society actually
And this is one of the things that have been on my mind about Gege lately--his execution of events as of late has been far more brutal and cruel than before.
Idk how to explain but the events in Shibuya were bad and shocking... but #things right now just feel hopeless and it feels like Gege is unleashing his self-loathing onto his characters--and his self-loathing is cruel and brutal.
With mangaka like him I always have to wonder about their psyche. i.e. CLAMP's Nanase Okawa has an uncanny ability to take you into deep pits of relatable grief and meaningless despair right along with her characters.
All of the above said, I also agree with Frenchie about how I both hate and love Gege for the execution of this moment.
The fact that Gege was able to depict a deep experience of despair through Yuji and then elicit hate from the audience, it speaks to his ability as a story-teller and how the story he's telling resonates deeply with the audience in a cathartic fashion.
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Also, not sure if you've seen this post by littleholmes but it includes a photo of what might be the Harima statue in question.
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And like... the despair this child statue seems to be experiencing and expressing is so palpable, and I love Gege for making a reference to it because it speaks to Yuji's inner child's grief and helplessness and suffering for not being able to impose his will upon his environment.
Not sure if Spooky will write about it in more detail but I also love what @linkspooky said about the idea that Yuji trying to "Shonen protagonist" his way through things usually doesn't work out.
It's a nice twist on how Shonen mcs just barrel their way through #things with their typical Shonen mc single-minded determination, and everything works out because of the power of friendship or something like that.
Not to sound like a broken record, but this is why I don't understand the idea that JJK is cliché Shonen. There's so much happening underneath the surface that is so rich in commentary on common shonen tropes.
Anyway, thanks for reading !! Have a good day/night.
(Will I ever go off anon? We'll see one day !!)
Thanks for stopping by and sharing all the #thoughts once again!
If you ever come off anon I am looking forward to it. If you don't... well, I'll be looking forward to hearing from you again regardless.
Have a happy JJK Sunday!
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yunwooz · 5 months
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Damn, saw that apparently Sakura also talked about watching the show 😭 I'm not surprised considering its popularity. People are shocked, because she's a woman, while it can feel more bizarre it's definitely not uncommon for women to enjoy dark media. Take all the women who love problematic shojo with toxic leads and uncomfortable age gaps. I was also taken aback by my female uni friend calling the series interesting and engaging, but we have to remember that women can be problematic too or at least have questionable tastes and interests. This is not the time for misogyny though. Bg stans need to understand this isn't a gotcha moment, and gg stans got a reality check, because guess what "that's why you should stan women not men" isn't the gag they think it is. The truth is TONS of people read/watched that shit, famous people, people we know, so acting superior is just dumb as fuck 🤡
yeah atp now that i know the popularity of the show, i wouldn't be surprised if tons more have also watched it and are just being intelligent and somewhat doing the right thing in not talking about it to their impressionable fanbases. i'm surprised that people are shocked tbh bc like you said it's very common for women to enjoy darker media, which is why problematic shojo is so incredibly popular. i keep going all sorts of different ways in trying to find a firm opinion on it but as i'm learning more and reading more from people who both disliked the show heavily and people who enjoyed the show, it seems to me like a good chunk of those who critically engaged with the show were disturbed by it. not all, but many (if not all) of the people i read posts and such from who found issue with the show are ones who were critically engaged with it. those that seemed to sort of just watch it for the sake of watching something and not to really think about it beyond it being a dark fantasy adventure did not seem to find issue in it.
i agree, this certainly isn't a gatcha moment and it's not about trying to conduct a witch hunt to find the next idol who said something about the show, and gender shouldn't even be part of the conversation because that only serves to push the conversation further away from what's important which is the conversation about the blind consumption of dark media and where a line needs to be drawn for it
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fearowkenya · 1 year
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it's the time of year where I feel very like...boxed in??? okay hold on
so like everyone else who has adhd mine has its own exclusive flavor and weirdness that manifests itself in its own Cute And Quirky Teehee ways that arent universal to everyone w adhd. mine specifically makes it so that the amount of energy / willpower i have to put effort into literally anything is directly proportionate to how much light there is outside. it doesnt have to be SUNNY , just naturally bright.
anyway as you may or may not know im up in canada where it is currently 4:41PM and is nearly dark, and will continue to get darker earlier and earlier until like three quarters through december. so already , not great for me and my fuckign plant-life-wannabe of a brain .
to compound this, i also slow down when it’s cold. that part is normal i think. its not uncommon to want to swaddle yourself in a nest of blankets when temperatures start to drop esp if its like -40 but it DOES make moving around a little more challenging. so like not only do i have to put in the effort to like, do each step of whatever task or activity i am attempting to do, but i also have to pry myself out of Soft Warm Bed which becomes an additional step in making aforementioned whatever the fuck happen. and if u are at all familiar w adhd you know that when the step count gets too high your odds of doing anything other than staring at a wall get slimmer and slimmer unless youve got a damn good workaround for your own brand of brain nonsense
im also one of those ppl who constantly has cold hands , so stuff that requires fine motor skills like art can be tough to start working on when my fingers have the mobility of two fistfuls of freezies.
ive gotten fairly good at finding ways to do things that accommodate my adhd but once winter hits thats when i get boxed in. it’s dark out early, so getting anything done after sunset is like wading thru sludge. then the sludge fucking freezes solid because its cold out, and even if by some miracle im able to like idk draw, my hands feel stiff bc of the cold and makes everything harder. so its like this uphill battle to do fucking Anything when im a sludgecicle. its way easier to do Nothing instead of trying to fight my way out, like the amount of effort it takes is SO frustrating.
‘hey idiot have you tried turning the heater on’ yeah dude i know but i still gotta get outta bed and wait for my fingers to not feel like a bunch of frozen baby carrots before anything gets done, and jsut the thought of that when im nice n warm in blankets is an enormous deterrent and it fucking sucks!!
im super fed up w that happening to me every damn winter so i guess i’ll start to work on throwing together some kinda coping mechanism and hope smth sticks.
since i moved my furniture a while back, my heater is right next to my desk so at least i’ll warm up faster when it starts to be like minus a billion degrees. i have no fucking clue what i am going to do about the uhh (checks notes) reliance that my brain has on the literal actual sun. i have one of those sun lamps that i suppose i can try to use more often?? idk if thats going to trick my brain into thinking it’s actually bright outside so stay tuned i guess. or dont im not your dad
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madisonrooney · 1 year
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been getting more and more emotionally and socially drained by work. ik people on here joke a lot about like “i hate being perceived and seen and known” and all that but i honestly have felt that way a lot of my life, and when you work in retail, youre constantly in view and being watched yknow? 
sure i went to school for a big chunk of my life but at least in college when the mental illness really started fleshing out, i could just hide in the back of the class on my computer and an entire semester would go by without my classmates learning pretty much anything about me. now its not only customers but coworkers, youll say some embarrassing shit, which isnt uncommon when youre there as many hours as you are since you start to get rambly, and you cant just shrug it off bc guess what youll see them again tomorrow and the next day and the next day...
ive already had to leave early bc of panic attacks on two different occasions. ive already cried while out on the floor. ive already cried in front of multiple leads and managers. and again, you have to face them again and god its humiliating. 
i just constantly find myself needing time in complete isolation and silence to recuperate, but not having much of it. typically, i only have 2-3 hours after i get home to do anything before i go to bed, and it usually takes me that much time just to catch up on my social media. even if i forgo that for a night, with my attention span, i still cant get much of anything done.
plus im typically busy on any and all of my days off
i just. would really love to have like a week where i just do not have to be seen by a single other person, or at least my public outings can be anonymous like shopping or something. i feel my best on days like that. during quarantine, i honestly had no problem not seeing anyone else besides my parents for more than a year. if anything, i got sick of my parents lol. id spend months on end on my own and dont remember having much of a problem at all with it. sure, id want to remotely hang out with friends, but that would feel more comfortable bc i didnt necesarilly have to be on camera and i could end it whenever i wanted to. i remember going 13 days without setting foot out of my front door and i honestly loved it.
anyway im getting off topic. going back to the matter at hand, i guess my brain is just trained to think that im gonna get a “summer break” at some point but i wont. i feel like i need something like that but idk if i can get it. even if i had my own events going on, it would be nice to have a few days in between where i just had nothing going on, which is what my summers used to be like.
bottom line is this doesnt have to do with my job specifically, its just jobs like this in general. i think in serious enough cases, im good at not just taking what i get but getting what i want out of a situation and i would say thats the case here. im not complaining bc i should have a different job and just dont feel like getting one, im complaining bc capitalism is just inherently like this. my job checks all the main boxes for me: i get pretty much all the days off that i want, the hours are late so it works with my whack sleep schedule, and its not a creative job where theres work to take home, it ends at a certain hour and then you dont have to think about it until you come back, which is p much necessary for my ocd. anything beyond those three factors matters much less. so yah, its the best i can get all things considered, but it still has its issues.
the one potential thing that could get me less social interaction would be training to work in the back, but i mean id still have to socialize with coworkers, plus ive heard you kinda make your own schedule back there so haha thats a no go for my ocd. it also seems too physical for me.
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mrfoox · 3 years
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Biggest problem with me is really that I can't seriously think someone likes me more than like maybe a friend. So if anyone does show such signs... I just kinda mentally shut it down and deny it and sabotage myself potentially
Because I can't see anyone without any ulterior motive showing interest in me
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streaming-yn · 3 years
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Hi, its Grim anon! I was wondering if I could request a platonic bench trio with y/n (she/her) who is very open about her affection for the three (constantly complimenting them, saying ily, etc.), but lately she's been worried that people will take it the wrong way so she's stopped? And now they're like. Where's my Y/N validation? :(
yep yep!! here you go, grim anon! ^^ sorry if I got a bit off track? I'm not sure if I did or not!
platonic!BenchTrio x affectionate!y/n
pronouns: she/her
other information on the reader:
. minor
. very open with her affection
. minecraft streamer
. faceless streamer
. it's against her boundaries for anyone other than friends to use her real name
warnings: sexism/misogyny (ends well, the haters are addressed), idk but the "girl near streamer I like? ew wtf 😒" type of hate (also gets addressed n shut down), little angst, distancing yourself from friends, trying to change yourself, cussing, mention of "weird comments" made towards y/n *ALL OF THESE ISSUES ARE ADDRESSED AND SHUT DOWN THOUGH !!!
form: headcanons
summary: y/n is super openly affectionate with all of her friends! unfortunately, a lot of people think that's a negative thing, though Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo notice y/n's change and get to the bottom of it to fix the issue ^^
genre: platonic, little angst, fluff(?) after it gets found out, hurt to comfort type of deal ^^
abbreviations: s/n -> streamer name, y/n -> your name
note: I'm not very good at angst yet so I'm sorry if it kinda sucks !! :(
you were very in touch with your loving side and showed all your friends affection very openly and however you could
unfortunately, since y'all didn't live near each other that meant that you had to wait for visits for like hugs n stuff :(
at first you didn't think much of it, affection was a normal thing between friends, why do it differently on stream?
you would often tell the boys how much you loved them and we're genuinely happy and grateful that y'all were friends
complements and validation paired with this, naturally
the boys looked forward to streams with you, not only because you where best friends but for the serotonin that your affection brought :D
actually!! on streams with all of you together, it wouldn't be uncommon for tommy, tubbo, and ranboo to playfully fight over your affection
it would be in different ways though, like with Tommy, you would complement either ranboo or tubbo and if you didn't state a name tommy would be like "THAT WAS MENT FOR ME, (TUBBO/RANBOO)" after they thanked you
meanwhile tubbo would either go on about betrayal and how you didn't love him anymore and he's going to run away or he would do something along the lines of ":(( what about meee"
and ranboo, if the compliment wasn't aimed at him, even if you clearly added tommy or tubbo's name at the end, would always reply "thank you" or something similar
however it's different if the compliment is directed at them!
ranboo would thank you, do a small laugh that's half flustered half awkward, and then complement you back (he got less awkward and flustered as he got more used to it though!)
you could hear the smile in tubbo's voice as he loudly thanks you and gives you like 3 compliments in return
tommy, it would depend if either of y'all are streaming or not! yes? "I know" all jokingly cocky like. no? "thank you, I guess" he says it as a half joke, it's a genuine thank you, but he likes keeping it playful so the "I guess" is thrown on, it's random if he gives you a complement back or not, it's literally not even dependant on how he feels, it just at random
also I feel like you and Tommy would have like a "ily!! /p" "ew /j" bit, very often I will add 👍
like while your streaming you like "tommy!! I love you, thank you for being my friend :)" and him, completely disregarding the last bit, would reply "EWW, Y/N YOU DO KNOW IM I MINOR CORRECT??"
if him ever saying ew hurts your feelings then he won't say it, however he will say the rest, unless him deflecting your "ily" makes you feel bad as well, it's fairly easy to crack him to say it back since you're best friends
a lot of back and forth, but not too hard since he never wants to genuinely hurt you
ALSO if you complement him (on stream ofc) he will find a way to turn it around, not onto you, but just turning into something too tame to be labeled and insult but definitely something close!
"I like your sunglasses!!" "oH??? SO YOU DONT LIKE MY EYES??? THANKS S/N"
(also feel like tubbo might do this)
ofc would stop if it makes you sad/uncomfortable/etc
with ranboo though, he might occasionally do that, but it's way more often for you two to get into complementing matches (just going back and forth with complements)
you also sometimes do the "ily more" thing, just because it's funny bc it's like a cringe romance movie thing, y'all never do it on stream though because ppl might make it weird, and some friend quirks are better kept private anyway, just a you two thing :)
occasionally the "no you hang up first" too, except you both play they teen girl waving her hand and saying it the most high pitched voice she can. it's so funny hearing ranboo going so high 💀💀
as a rising streamer, of course you have Twitter, and your subtwt isn't toxic – due to your personality and stuff, the people you attract to your content are all pretty loving and chill! ofc there's a few bad eggs, but that's just what happens, you choose to ignore those few
but since you've gotten more popular, people finding you through your more popular friends, you've seen a rise of tweets mentioning you, whether it be in general or in the boy's replies
you're glad to be getting more popular, now you can find more people who seek comfort from your content, which was your goal when you started anyway! so it's all exciting! ..at first.
rise in people means rise of people in the toxic 1%, and also means rise of haters or people who just don't like you
sometimes you come across tweets like "why does y/n feel the need to be around ranboo, tubbo, and tommy? leave them alone ffs, she got her fame she wanted, she can leave now 🙄✋" and "we get it, girl streamers are less talented so you needed to leech off they boys' talent! like is she done yet or??" or occasional tweets saying something about shipping – which is against not only your boundaries but all of they boys' as well.
the replies being full of "use s/n, using her real name is breaking her boundaries! and if you have an issue, then don't watch the streams she's in, dickhead!", "you could just mute her name on here and not follow her twitch, you're being overdramatic for no reason", "hey hey, remember that s/n checks her indirects", "ew, deactivate", "aw, are you scared bc a girl is better than you at gaming? aw you gonna cry??", etc, makes you feel a bit better, but the punch from the original tweet lingers
after seeing a bit more, you saw the majority of the haters – and weird people – you saw the root of it was probably because you were so affectionate towards you friends and just being around them in general
so, it'd be best to stop, right? don't participate in as many streams, stop being so affectionate in general, to be honest you were already quite anxious that you being so "clingy" was annoying, the hate just solidified it
so you have a plan in line, the hard part is executing it :(
to start, you stopped complimenting them as much on stream, and the late phone calls lessened, and those became more and more noticeable before you "got too busy" to be in as many streams as you used to
I feel like ranboo would notice first and try talking to you before bringing it up to tommy and tubbo, but when you replied "oh! yeah I'm good dw :)" he knew it was a lie and went to the others
"what do you think is going on?" "I'm not sure" "whatever it is, do you think this is why she stopped being so affectionate? I miss it"
then it clicked for tommy while ranboo and tubbo still tried to figure it out
"do you think it's family problems?" "no, last time they has family problems they became more clingy and their phone calls were more frequent, not-" "wait wait wait"
tommy checked your social media platforms, of course they had more followers than before
"what? tommy?" "I think it's more of an online hate problem" tommy leaned back in his chair, running his hands over his face before looking over at the discord call as the two others made sounds of shock, "yeah, this started after her platform got bigger and she got more well known" "..you're right" "how- how do we fix it?" "address it on a stream?" "no, no, not yet, I think we should contact y/n first, see if she'll tell us if we're right or not" "I could try? last time I texted her she responded pretty quickly so maybe that still applies?" "yeah, tell us if we're right or not and we'll continue from there"
so ranboo texted you, making sure to form the text to get to the point but not scare you, he knows how anxiety inducing confrontation, especially from friends, can be for you
you didn't know exactly how to respond, would it be better if you lied? or would the truth be better?
after a few times of the "..." appearing and disappearing on ranboo's screen before you message of ",, yeah, that is the reason actually ;; I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I thought it'd be better to just distance myself :(" sent through
the boys on call could hear the frown in ranboo's voice when he sighed and said "oh" "were we right?" "just a second"
ranboo replied to you, reassuring you that you don't don't have to apologize for not telling them and it isn't your fault, making sure to remind you that you can come to either him, tommy, or tubbo whenever you want
"yeah, she got hate, and I guarantee that if we go through her indirects then we'll see what exactly happened, we may have to scroll a bit though" so they searched around on Twitter and found some, then tubbo spoke "do you think she would want to join call so we can figure out what to do to fix this?" "I can text her, though maybe we can more of distract and comfort her tonight? we can talk about the hate and stuff another time" "yeah yeah, I think that's a good idea"
so he texted you to see if you'd like to join the call, you accepted and ended up playing video games with them – mainly Minecraft servers – for a few hours before tommy had you and ranboo (assuming you're in the US or close) sign off to get some sleep (if you're in the UK or close, he had you and tubbo sign off and then signed off himself for some sleep)
the next day you guys hopped back on call to discuss how you guys would fix it, as well as them giving a bunch of positive comments about your affection :)
you guys decided on a serious stream from Tommy's account, it was either tommy or ranboo's account, but you guys chose tommy bc he's not anxious about turning off donos and other things
you guys discussed that the hate you were getting was uncalled for, and the weird comments were to be stopped immediately.
"I think that's everything? y/n, anything else?" "yeah I think that's about it, thank you guys so much!!" "alright, one more thing before we go- chat- chat, if you have an issue with y/n being in our streams just don't watch our streams! if you don't like y/n we don't want you here" "tommyyyy :(( (/pos)" "wait wait!! chat, if anyone asks or is being rude either spread clips on the stream or screenshots of the tweets we posted!! we want to make sure that everyone – even those not watching the stream – are informed!" "alright, bye chat, I better not see any more y/n negativity!!"
there wasn't negativity in chat when you went to check btw :)! it was in emote-only bc they thought it'd be the best thing to do and most of the chat was filled with hearts and other positive emotes! <33
now whenever hate stuff it posted the replies have screenshots of either tommy, tubbo, or ranboo's tweets, links to the VOD, or clips, stating the most important and the tweet is usually taken down within a matter of hours – days sometimes
and after that everything was back to normal!! you started complimenting them again, telling them how much you love them again, etc etc! you even got back into late calls :)
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Obey Me Brothers and Misc. react to MC having their coffee order memorised
GN!MC
Prologue
You go to a coffee shop. Human world or devildom, doesn't matter. All that matters is after waiting in line you order for you and Ya Boi bc you have their order memorised and they get flustered because every single one of them is a ✨massive softie✨
This is also just me headcanoning their drink orders while I take a break from my dissertation.
(I'm referring to the undateables as Misc. because I don't want to call the the datables bc Luke is a child. He is not datable. That is my son.)
Lucifer
This man would take his coffee in an IV if he could and you can't convince me otherwise
Probably asks that they put as many extra espresso shots in the drink as they're legally allowed to
Anyway, he's very touched that you have his order memorised. He has yours memorised to.
Appreciates that you pay enough attention to him to know his order
Low-key blushing about it and will think about it next time he makes himself coffee
Might even end up making you one to if he isn't working late
Definitely goes for coffee with you more often (definitely not to spend more time with you and also to show that he has your order memorised too 👀)
Mammon
This man is destroyed by any kind of casual affection (pls hold his hand)
I mean, of course you know the great Mammon's coffee order! You were his human weren't ya?
If you're ordering for him, that means you're paying, right? 👀
He do be blushing tho (if you also pay he'll blush even more)
And since you bought it, I GUESS you can have a sip...definitely doesn't just want the casual and domestic intimacy of sharing the same cup
Wants to get coffee with you more often (so he can drink from your cup)
Levi
How did you know the code to order the Ruri-Chan Loveheart Surprise Latte off of the secret menu??????
Oh, you knew it because you listened to him order before and memorised it????????????
Hes not crying, you're crying
No but really, the proof that you actively listen to him when he's talking about his interests has his heart skipping a beat
Hes bright red and trying to cover his face with his hands
Wants to get two straws so you two can sit opposite each other and share a drink but is WAY to shy to ask 🥺👉👈
Will end up buying matching reusable coffee cups that have 'player one' and 'player two' on them
Satan
For the most part he’ll order something basic like an Americano or a flat white UNLESS you're at a place that does latte art.
Then he ALWAYS gets cat themed latte art
Like the little 3D ones they make out of foam and then draw little faces on???
Yeah, he loves them
He think they're so cute
They're in most of his devilgram pics next to whatever book he was reading at the time
One of his favourite things to do is visit cat cafe with you and if you remember his order he'll be very touched and he'll thank you with a blush and a smile
Has your order memorised as well and orders for you next time
Asmo
Changes with whats fashionable but anything ✨pink✨
Pink drink, peach lemonade, strawberry and white chocolate mocha they're all acceptable
But is delighted when you remember his order- it means you've been paying attention to the trends he's following!!!!!
Did you see the drink on his devilgram story????? Isn't it cute!!!!!! You should get one to match and take a selfie together!!!!
Thinks its really cute to go on coffee dates and hear you order for him
Like, yes, they know my order 😌 we're that close 😙✌
Beel
Just hand him a basic Americano, but in a Big Gulp cup
Is touched that you remembered his order, even if it is simple. He just kinda blushes and thanks you (maybe asks if you want to go out dinner that evening).
Make sure he’s fed, or has food available bc if you don’t he will eat ✨The Beans✨
He has done this before and you DO NOT want to see Beel when he has enough caffiene in his system to give a mortal cardiac arrest
He’s already the most athletic brother. You won’t catch him. No one will.
You know Taz from Looney Tunes? When he just...spins super fast in circles and eats stuff??? Yeah, Beel’s like that.
But if he doesn’t eat straight-up coffee beans, he’s just as chill as normal
Just enjoys spending some quality time with you (and yes, he will definitely have your order memorised too)
Belphie
Must!!!!!keep!!!!this!!!!!boy!!!!!awake!!!!!!!
If you remember his order he’s gonna blush, but do his best not to react. But he may also feel the need to Hold Hands later in the day because you’ll have him feeling ✨soft✨.
Has a black coffee but puts, like, 5 sugars in it
He’s basically drinking espresso syrup
and it does NOTHING
Caffiene does not affect this man AT. ALL.
It’s almost scary - he can down 3 espressos and then nap for five hours afterwards
Doesn’t love going on coffee dates because if you’re too caffinated he has trouble keeping up with you, and you won’t feel like having a nap with him. But if you’re just having one coffee, or a tea or something, he does like how chilled out the date can be.
Diavolo
I get grande iced machiatto vibes, and I can’t tell you why
Loves that you remember his order and isn’t shy about it. Will blush at first and then break into a massive beaming smile
He’s paying for the coffee (he’s literally royalty, he’s paying for the damn coffee)
Makes him feel like you two are close and he may attempt to hold hands later if the vibe is right.
Constantly asks you out on coffee dates afterwards - loves spending time with you and loves how informal and relaxed it is
Will also remember your order and make sure that Barb knows how to make it for when you visit the Palace
But still prefers the actual act of going out to a coffee shop with you
If you bring him his coffee order when he’s working, however👀👀👀...blushing mess.
The fact that you went to get coffee for him...even though he knows that you know that Barb is perfectly capable of making him coffee...that you got coffee and thought of him...and bought a coffee for him...and brought it to him...the casual affection, the softness, the thoughtfulness. 😳😳😳 he’s destroyed. BLUSHING. He’s literally so touched. Gonna commit hand holding crimes. Will think about it all day. Will miss you 3x more than normal just because. May even end up doing some light ~pining~ 🥺🥺🥺
Barbatos
✨Tea✨
This is the Undisputed King of Tea
He knows every blend of tea that the shop offers and has the menu memorised.
Will also tell you about the different tea blends if you ask, describes how they taste, what they’re ingredients are, where they’re from, etc.
He’s very grateful if you remember his order, but if you then bring up some of the trivia he’s shared about that tea?? Blushing.
Very touched that you not only remembered his order but the things about it that interest him. The fact that you clearly paid attention when he was talking about tea.
Thinks of you as a very considerate person and will offer to share
He’ll also invite you over for tea a the palace more often now that you’ve shown an interest in Tea Trivia (even if that interest is only based in your interest in him)
Will also invite you to come with him when he needs to go to the market to restock the Palaces tea supplies and may even...h...hold ur hand...😳😳😳
Simeon
This is a chai latte man, don't come for me
Will test out how it tastes with different syrups, particularly likes either hazelnut or vanilla
Can also do his own latte art
When you order for him??? And have his order memorised????? He's delighted.
Its not uncommon for angels to remember each others orders, but he's touched nonetheless (yes that does mean he has your order memorised)
Will tell you that he's touched by your consideration
Just gives him the warm fuzzies and it also kinda reminds him of home
Offers to do latte art in your drink if he can
Would also be the kind of person to bring you coffee in class, and he'll do latte art on that so you can take off the lid and see a little foamy heart and the like ❤☕
Luke (platonic)
No coffee!!!! He's a child!!!!!!
You order him a puppychino hot chocolate
With whipped cream and cinnamon which is his preferred topping and a slice of cake
Hes definitely super happy about the fact you remembered how he likes his hot chocolate
Tells you that your so nice and should come back to the celestial realm with Simeon and him instead of staying down here with a bunch of no-good demons who don't deserve you 😤
Plus the celestial realm has the best hot chocolate!
You also let him have SMALL sips of your coffee but ONLY so he can scope out which beans to use in his next coffee and walnut cake!!!!!!!
Solomon
Probably has some awful sounding custom drink like a fruit tea with pumpkin spice syrup and milk in it 😣
Or a peach lemonade with a shot of espresso and marshmallows 🤢
So its super unique, but he's still surprised you remembers the specifics
Offers to let you try it
DON’T
Will take you out to get coffee together more often, partly to spend time with you and partly to horrify you with his drink choices
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rainecreatesstuff · 4 years
Text
LAMP Soulmate AU Bulletfic thing
Word Count: 2569
TW: Mentions and implications of abuse, mentions of anxiety, descriptions of panic attacks, mentions and implications of death + illness
They’re all connected in different ways
Virgil is connected to Patton through that thing where marks on your soulmate’s skin appear of yours too
Roman through a thing where on your eleventh birthday at 11:11pm a name will pop into your head and wow its your soulmate’s
And Logan through the string thing
Roman is connected to Patton through a timer on his wrist
And Logan through a tattoo-like mark on your wrist that says your soulmate’s first words to you
Logan and Patton are connected through a soulmark (A tattoo or raised pattern on your skin that is also on your soulmate)
Patton is blind
so in this au different soulmarkers develop at different ages
So when V’s little he’s super excited to meet his sm, bc his parents are soulmates and everything he’s seen abt them is so sweet and exciting!
He turns six and doesn’t develop a timer, which is what he was hoping for
But that’s ok! There are tons of other soulmarkers!
And then he doesn’t develop a soulmark when he’s seven
Or a sentence on his wrist when he’s eight
And he can see colours
So he’s starting to get nervous
And hey! Mom’s sick, and in the hospital, and she’s just not doing too swell
But then when he turns nine, a beautiful red string has been tied around his ring finger when he wakes up!
And wow! Mom look, I have a soulmate! Just like you and daddy!
And then a few months later he’s doing his homework at the kitchen table and the string goes limp before shriveling up and turning black
The doctors have no explanation, and V’s anxiety has really started to kick in
Mom doesn’t seem to be getting better either
So when he turns ten, he is fully aware that this is probably his last chance to develop a soulmarker
He writes on his forearm the night before his birthday
It says “Hey, I’m V! I guess we’re soulmates?”
When he wakes up there’s nothing new
Which is fine! Because that means his sm is probably in the same time zone as him!
But then he keeps waiting and
Nothing
Nothing for a week.
Eventually his dad convinces him to wash it off
Then on his eleventh birthday he knows how uncommon a soulname connection is, but he needs to try
So it’s 11:10 and he’s sitting at his desk with a marker ready to write it down and then-
Roman Prince
Roman prince? What do you mean Roman prince? That’s not a name! What the hell?!
So he’s really sad and anxious and stuff because he doesn’t have a soulmate and, yknow, that’s kinda upsetting for him
And hey, your mom really isn’t doing too well, we have to visit her after school, okay?
At first Virgil doesn’t understand why mom’s being so dramatic or why she keeps telling him she loves him
Then it hits him
And now he’s sobbing and hugging her and shaking and he can’t breathe he can’t breathe he can’t breathe
Fun fact! Turns out this is a regular thing and he has really bad anxiety.
And mom has been put in a medically induced coma
So a year later dad decides to pull the plug
Virgil’s anxiety has gotten really bad
He’s just not in a good place
High school goes by without much happening
Now he’s going to university! How exciting and stressful!
Roman, too, was entranced by the idea of soulmates. His parents aren’t soulmates, but they encourage his excitement about them!
And when he turns six, he develops a timer on his wrist! Score! What a romantic way to meet the love of your life!
Or friend of your life
His moms are so excited for him! They get him new paints and take him out to dinner to celebrate.
And then he wakes up on his eighth birthday to words on his right wrist
It says “If you could stop talking, it would be vastly appreciated.”
He’s a little pissed
His moms take him to the doctor bc “wtf why does he have TWO soulmarkers?!”
The answer is that he has two soulmates
It’s uncommon, but possible
So while he is ecstatic and ready to parade his soulmarkers around the school, his moms are a little less happy and a little more worried
They may have made the suggestion that he wears long sleeves most days, those ones that he hates because they will not roll up
But he did what they asked because they’re his moms, and he loves them very much
And then a few years later on his birthday he’s typing up a short story for school
It’s due the next day so he’s rushing through it a little bit
It’s still amazing
But anyways, he’s writing, and he suddenly just gets the name “Virgil Miller” stuck in his head
He doesn’t think anything of it bc he’s writing and that’s normal
He ends up naming the main character Virgil 
Logan grows up in a bit of a run-down part of town
His Mami and Dad are soulmates (he doesn’t think they should be)
They fight a lot, and sometimes Dad’ll hurt Mami, especially at night when they think he’s asleep
And he’s heard Mami on the phone with his Tia, talking about court cases? And laws, and soulmates?
Needless to say, he isn’t all too enamoured with the idea of soulmates
When he’s seven he gets a soulmark, some bumps over his heart, which is a little distressing
He’s never met this person, but he’s supposed to spend his whole life with them?
He’s very scared that his soulmate will be like Dad
And then he develops the words “Bold of you to assume I can stop talking” on his right wrist
And then a string when he’s nine.
He doesn’t tell his parents about any of them. “Soulless” people existed, and he knew his Mami was hoping he was one of them.
And then later that year Mami sits him down and tells him that she’s going to live with his Tia until she can find her own apartment, and that she and Dad aren’t together anymore
Logan cries for a while, and tells her about all the things he’s heard, and the bruises he’s seen, and begs to go with her
Mami says she was hoping he would
His Dad finds out the day before they leave and he hits Logan
Multiple times
And when his Mami steps in, Dad scowls and yells and stomps away and Mami picks Logan up and they run to the car and leave
When they get to his Tia’s he hides in the guest bedroom they said is his and he takes a pair of scissors and
Snip snip, he’s 33% more “soulless”
He steals Mami’s concealer and puts it on his wrist everyday to cover the words there
The only one he doesn’t cover is the soulmark on his chest, which he almost never sees because of his shirt
Whenever anyone asks, he just tells them he’s soulless
He tries not to get too close to people, but he usually fails and so he has a very small, very tight friend group 
Oh also he’s a grade ahead of his year
Patton’s family is very well off
He’s the oldest of four brothers
He’s trans, but his family is v supportive and helped him transition as soon as they found out
His service dog’s name is Cookie and she’s a golden retriever
He’s had her since he was eleven, and he loves her very much
Because he’s blind there’s certain things he didn’t know about growing up
For example, nobody told him about soulmates until he was nine
Which really explains the weird ticking he hears every once in a while, as well as the strange, tiny bumps on his chest (which spell out “Loved” in Braille)
He doesn’t think about it too often, but he’d be lying if the idea didn’t entrance him
He didn’t think he’d ever meet his soulmates, though, and if he did, he wasn’t sure they’d want the responsibility of a blind soulmate
On the day he turns ten, there’s this little tickling on his forearm, like butterflies gently taking off on him
He doesn’t really think anything of it, though
Despite being blind, Patton is super capable
He can’t cook by himself, but if he’s supervised he does a really good job. He’s the most prepared for “real life” out of his siblings, which is strange, considering he’s the oldest
He goes to public school, where most kids are really nice (sometimes antagonistically nice), but there were also some rude kids
“You don’t really need that walking stick, you’ve got a dog, and we need it to play our game!”
The amount of times he’s had to explain that no you dumbass I do still need the stick is ridiculous
But he keeps a smile on his face and forges through it
And then in grade eleven Roman’s studying in the hallway when he sees some kid being bullied
Well, not bullied, but definitely teased. Something was wrong, anyways
He’s been on edge all day because his timer keeps going down
But he’s not really thinking about it rn
So he goes over and gets the idiots to leave and
Holy hell did heaven drop an angel? They must have, because look at this boy with his golden hair and tanned skin and freckles and
Beep beep motherfucker. It’s soulmate o’clock
And Roman is just so happy
“H-hey, I’m Roman!” “Oh, hi, I’m Patton! Did... did your timer go off?” “Uh yeah! It did!”
And Patton
Just grins so wide and there’s tears, and he leaps up and hugs Roman so tight
And Roman is so freaking happy!!!! He asks Patton for his contact because duh and Pat’s like
“Uhhh well I can’t text”
“Why?”
“..... I’m blind?” “OHHHHHHH”
So they figure they can talk over the phone because Patton does have a phone for calling
So they have a cute first date and they fall in love and everything’s good and dandy and Roman’s going to college but Patton’s found this real nifty job that just so happens to be right next to Roman’s college so they move in together and Patton knows about Roman’s other sm and Roman knows about Patton’s other sm
And Roman’s in a lecture now
And he didn’t really notice but he’s been muttering
And he’s just kinda sitting there when he hears it from the guy next to him
So he looks up and here’s this ethereal looking dude with gorgeous brown eyes and dark hair and
“Bold of you to assume I can stop talking.”
He curses every known god for making his first words to his soulmate be a meme
They excuse themselves from class because holy shit
And Logan introduces himself shakily
And Roman asks for his number
And they go on a date where Roman tells him about Patton and Logan mentions having a soulmark over his heart
Logan is really hesitant to join their relationship bc he was hoping he would never meet his soulmates
So they don’t put a label on it right away
But they go on a few dates and hang out a bunch and Logan realizes that he actually really, really likes these guys and he doesn’t really want to live the rest of his life without them
So he talks to them and tells them about some of the stuff that happened when he was a kid
Roman and Patton are horrified but they hug him and promise that they will never lay a finger on him if he asks them not to 
And Logan just has a moment of “These guys love me. Like actually love me. And want me to be happy. And I think I feel the same?” 
So on their next date Logan asks both of them to be his boyfriends and obviously they say yes
And basically they’re just all really in love
They move into a bigger apartment together at the beginning of year two
So then they’re all cuddling one day when Logan tells them about his string
And so the other two are like “oh shit is there another???”
And Roman says that on his eleventh birthday he just suddenly had this name pop into his head but he just assumed he’d wanted the name for a character so
And Patton says that after getting his soulmark AND a timer he didn’t think to check for anything else
So they’re all kinda like well whoops let’s hope we still meet them!
And Patton’s at his job one day when this guy walks in and he’s one of the new employees
Pat’s got his seeing eye doggo with him but the vest is off cuz they’re both on break
And so V’s like “oh cool dog can I pet him?”
Bc usually he would never just go up and ask but he literally can’t stop himself because here’s this adorable dude in front of him and the universe is screeching at him to say hi
And Pat hears his voice and immediately falls in love
“Oh, yea sure! She’s my eye dog, but she’s on break so it’s all good!”
And V meets Pat and his dog
And they end up exchanging numbers because they are coworkers and well
Yknow
So a couple days later, after him and Patton have been talking a lot, Pat invites him over
So V goes over and meets Roman and Logan
And he hears Roman’s name and
Holy shit
And of course Roman is also freaking out because the name Virgil just really hasn’t left his head since he thought of it
So yknow
Logan’s a little unsure, but then the two get talking about astronomy and he doesn’t care if they’re not soulmates he is going to marry this guy
And they all get really close really fast
And then one day Virgil offhandedly mentions the string thing
And Logan freezes and just
Shows V his right ring finger, where they can both see this rotting string that’s still tied tight around it and
Fuck V can’t breathe are you kidding? right now?
So they help ground him, and Logan explains everything
And Roman tells him what’s up
But they’re not really sure how he’s connected to Patton but then he just
Grabs a marker and draws a heart on his hand and
It’s right there on Patton’s hand holy s h i t
So they take Virgil on a date and stuff and they make it official
And Virgil’s a little nervous bc like those three have been together for a while now and he feels like he’s intruding
But he talks to Logan and L understands bc Roman and Patton had been dating for 2+ years when he found them
He promises that V is not intruding and that they all really love him
And Virgil just full on starts crying because he hasn’t felt this loved since before his mom died and he loves his bfs so much
They find their bfs and just cuddle all night
Virgil moves in with the rest of them at the beginning of third year 
They get their happily ever after for the most part
Hopefully y’all liked this! I think I’ll be posting more writing on here, bc I have TONS of wips stacked up in a google docs and I’d like to get them out of there lmao
437 notes · View notes
fictionkinfessions · 2 years
Note
three things.
one, i saw an izaya saying something about how its funny that they watched drrr when they were much younger and had an odd connection to izaya but didnt realize till years later, and i thought that was funny bc that was my experience too! i didnt realize i was shizuo kin till recent years and just went 'haha, i feel so connected to this guy' and went on with my day when i was a teen, like a dope. not an uncommon experience for kinnies im sure, i just thought it was a funny coincidence.
two, ive seen a handful of calls, some older than others obviously, from him but i just. i cant bring myself to respond. i feel the urge to respond, i want to, but im too shy and nervous now. can you imagine? me? shy and nervous? crazy. but thats how i am in this life. its not even the anxiety part, its just that whenever i talk to someone new i end up not talking to them after a while. its a combination of me not knowing what to say [im not much of a conversationalist], and me deciding to take a break from talking to other people and suddenly its been four months and they think ive shunned them, oops. im trying to be better but in the meantime i dont wanna subject people to the ice barrier that is me, unfortunately. thats where the anxiety comes from. i wish i could connect with kin people on the internet without talking sometimes.
three, it occurred to me yesterday while i was in the car that if i met izaya in this life [any izaya actually, not just mine] that theres a damn good chance he'd be taller than me. thats a little embarrassing. im way under the average human height in this life. shizuo is an outlier though, almost all of my other kintypes are really short. i dont usually give a shit but damn what a thought. you think hed tease me about it? probably. hed probably prop his arm on my shoulder or head and wait for me to take a swing at him. well guess what, i dont think hed be as good at dodging in this life. but yeah, going from being the tallest person in the cast to possibly the shortest is so strange to think about. wasnt that babyfaced kid the shortest?
thats it, bye. -shizuo. [#☆0☆]
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uwuowotf2waslife · 4 years
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Mercs reaction to coming back from a long away mission and finding out s/o had been cuddling into his left behind shirts/blankets bc it smelled like him and they missed him so much it was the only way they could sleep?
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this isnt a headcanon, this is a canon if i ever saw one
Scout: my boy always gets extra exhausted after a mission, so he just gets into his& S/Os room and plops in the bed without looking,probably still in his work clothes. At some pointin the night, he will wake up to use the loo. Returning he sits down and feels something funny under his butt, it isnt soft like a bedsheet and it feels somewhat familiar. He scoops it up and inspects it..it feels excactly like one of his shirts...now,maybe...he searches with his hands a bit more and he feels more of his clothes like a blanket around you. His heart has officialy melted and he needs to contain himself from jumping onto you and hugging the light out of you.He will spoon you and kiss your shoulder, prepare to be drown in kisses and affection, he wont stop untill your or his bladder is about to burst
Soldier: he might be the messiest but he always cleans after finising a mission. After he has done a shower and scrub all that mud and blood from him , he puts a nice pair of pyjamas trousers and hes about to hit the bed when he releases you are on his bed- thats fine you have been together for a while and lowkey he loves to sleep next to you, your heartbeat lulls him-but you are holding onto something. He turns the light in the hallway and opens the door slighlty so he can look but it wont wake you. Its his jacket, the red one he ussualy wears to battle...congratulations, you are now his waifu material. He closes the light and carefully slips on the bed next to you, softly he pulls the jacket off you and snuggle you, he even gives you soft forehead kisses.
Pyro: they never take off their suit, only for bathing and they are sure to always have at least 2 spares in case something happens to the one their wearing.Their suits inside smells like hell, but they change it once the smell gets too much and bathe everyday with special soaps and make sure they wash their suits once everyday other day.So the one time they cant find their spare, they are having a mild panic attack. They are running up and down the base, trying to find it; it cant be gone, when they left for the mission they made sure they had a spare in their closet.They are about to hold Scout on gunpoint to confess but they have an idea, they havent looked at S/Os room. They drop Scoutand go to S/Os room...they see them all cuddled up with their spare...theyknow they should be angry, but they can’t. Their suit is like their skin,and seeing you cuddling it, it makes them sniffle a little. You missed them so much, you took one of their spares and risked to be burned to a crisp by them if they had a bad mindset that day just to be with them.They lock the door behind them and pull of their suit - something they do when you are alone- and gently rock you awake. You smile at them and pull them to lie with you on the bed and they oblige. Que soft make out with they rub circles on your arms and hands.
Engie: its very rare for him to go for missions, but when it happens it happens he guesses. He isnt that exhausted but his back hurts from being crouched all day so some lying down would do him some good. He opens his rooms doo and he yeets the goggles out of his eyes- you aresleeping on his bed wearning his flanel shirt and holding one of his shirts in your chest.He curses himself for not having a polaroid but damn hun, how can you be so damn cute? He undresses as fast and quiet he cans and softly scoots you over a bitso he can cuddle you...he has a funny idea and pulls one of the bundle of the shirts over him. He basically makes himself a lump covered with shirt and trousers. He pinches you so you wake up, look around mumble something and pulling the shirt lump closer you..but wait why is it heavy and why is it warm...you pull your face closer to look at it better and suddently two strong pair of arms come and hold you. You scream and almost jump off the bed but he keeps you there and peppers your face with suprose and swrry kisses.
Demo: after every succesfull mission, its a known fact that Demo gets plastered. So either Heavy or Soldier will yeet him on his bed because they want the sofa for themselves to watch a movie. S/O of course wakes up and holds him in a position where he is least likely to vomit or drool. During his sleep, they get more and more tangled together. He wakes up by a throbbing headacke and try to block the sun with the first thing his hand finds. You stir next to him and bring him some water and painkillers. He glups it down without even openinghis eyes and pulls you down for some more cuddles. Once the painkillers kick in he opens his eye and realises his been using his own shirt asa blindfold, so he throws it away and suprise, he is lying on and is tangled by his own clothes...was he that plastered? but you jus tsaid Heavy yeeted him here, so that means..aww you sweet lil bunny, he is pulling you in for a tight hug and gives you a soft kiss.
Heavy: he isnt that tired, but after so many hours in an airplane his legs hurt so much and no matter of stretches will help. He really needs to lie down. He knocks on the door and waits for a respond, you just mumble a ‘come in’ so he opens the door and steps inside. His heart explodes right here and there. You are the cutest thing he has ever seen in his entire life, all wrapped up in his sweater. He pulls you up and swings a bit, holding you against his chest, You mished old Misha so much you wore his clothes to sleep? Well, now ,from now youll sleep on Mishas chest to never miss him again.
Medic: he is about to collapse,so he does the only logical thing that comes to mind; wash his hands, take off his shoes and pass ou thappily oh his bed with his S/O by his side. He gets all comfy and hes about to spoon when he feels something different on  his S/O, that weirdly feels like one of his medical robes. He has a smug smirk on his face but he is way too tired to do anything silly so he rubs your shoulder and pulls you for a cuddle. You wake up and feel Medic sprawled on the bed next to you-hes a huge  blankethog-so you give him a small kiss and snuggle a bit closer only for him to pounce and get you under him. “ You missed me so much schwatz, now you can wear me too” he gives you small kisses on both the head and the nose.
Sniper: he is no stranger to missions, he always liked extra work- keeps his mind sharp and his aim even sharper, but hed be a liarif he said he didnt miss you...perhaps way more than you think. He even semi-jogs his way to his S/O room, because his heart is pounding so hard he feels its gonna pop out of his chest. His mind is full of insecurities, why the lights are closed, why you arent on the common room? maybe you gotbored of him, maybe you found...the trail of thought chokes him so much he doesnt see you on the bed...but holly molly, he takes of his glasses and desperately tries to find his polaroid in his bag and snap a few pics of you. You are his angel, so pure and wrapped in his trusted rugged flannel shirt. Once hes satisfied he pets your hair and rubs your cheek untill you wake up. Then he lies on top of you and gives you lots of kisses and soft nothings. You kiss him back and just drown in his affection.
Spy: its not uncommon for him to leave for missions here and there, more than the other mercs. He isnt that tired,but he needs a bit of a lying down after a long flight and barely enough nicotine to keep him sane. He leaves the dufflebag on one of his couch in his smoking room and gets in the shower. He wonders where you are, but figures maybe you have some work or you are out for errands or something. Once his done, he puts a new balaclava and hes about to go for a nice nap when he notices you sprawled up with one of his work suits snuggled on your chest. Call him soft, call him an old romantic dilf, but this dilf smiles from ear to ear. You missed him so much, you slept with his suit...he means that much to you? he really wants to wake you up with kisses but he decides to just light a cigarrete and absorb the view. Once hes done, he lies next to you and pulls the shirt away from you, and just wraps his limbs around you and lets you snuggle on his chest. You mumble his name and then just snuggle tighter, yeap his heart has shattered. He gives you a soft kiss on the crown of the headand mumbles some apologises.Please hold him, he is having a small breakdown.
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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years
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animorphs!!!
ok I read animorphs when I was 10 or 11 I think? and I only read it once, along w/the spinoffs and stuff, and I've always meant to revisit it...SO HERE I AM....
and oh MAN I forgot how good this series is. like I knew it was good but some things from your childhood don't hold up yknow? especially books aimed at younger audiences
but oh boy does animorphs hold up. they're easy to read and perfectly balance the line between dark/adult topics and more kid-friendly lessons. excellent 
so yeah I'm loving it so far. I forgot how fast some stuff happens lmao, like I forgot that tobias gets trapped as a bird in the FIRST BOOK 
also I just adore how realistically disorganized/confused the animorphs are. like, they got the elevator pitch version of the conflict from elfangor before my mans got eaten, and also they're middle schoolers. of course they’re always just like ‘wtf do we even do’ 
so like...their plans mostly don't work. and even when planning they run into tons of logistical issues w/morphing, traveling, communicating etc. 
and I love how they clearly need to maintain their normal lives as well in order not to raise any suspicion 
and I like the little details like them not spending all their time together at school because they didn’t before so that would be suspicious
oh man and I love the different family dynamics in the series. you have jake, whose family seems pretty normal until we find out that tom is a controller, and rachel, whose parents are divorced, and who has to deal w/the complications of that. and then cassie, who is an only child (I like that we have a mix, with rachel and jake having siblings), and of course marco...
iirc marco was one of my favs (if not my fav, but its hard to choose) back in the day, and I forgot how reluctant he was to participate in the animorphs thing...and the fact that he was about to quit the team and then runs into visser 1.....
another fucked up little moment I liked - when they morphed dolphin and marco had to morph back to human bc he gets injured and he was like ‘I cant swim, and my mom drowned, I don't want to die like she did’ I was like oooof
also on that topic I adore how little the animorphs know about how anything works. like they once wondered if there's a limit to how many morphs they can acquire and they were basically like ‘idk guess we’ll find out’ 
and then when marco got injured as a dolphin and they were like ‘morph back I guess and hopefully you'll be okay?’ like damn luckily that worked 
basically these books do The Most Excellent Job showing that these are just kids. like they're literally in jr high which is 90s speak for middle school....they're like 13???? at most???
and the narrative reflects that perfectly!! all of them, even rachel who is pretty much the most gung-ho about fighting and stuff, have nightmares and all these terrible experiences bc they don't have basically any guidance 
and even with ax, it’s immediately obvious that he’s also just a kid, even though he’s this deadly alien....
also oh mannnn I love so much how we’re introduced to the andalites as this heroic race and how that slowly changes over the course of the story 
like, when elfangor introduces himself as ‘prince’ you assume he’s part of the andalite monarchy - but later we find out that ‘prince’ is a military rank, and the andalites are a lot more militaristic than we would assume at the beginning 
its so fantastic how it starts off as a fairly black and white conflict of andalites = good guy aliens and yeerks = bad guy aliens
and you even have some background stuff going on w/the taxxons being controllers by choice, and the hork-bajir being enslaved 
but as the story goes on, all of those lines get blurred in different ways...
also ooof the poor hork-bajir. I always felt so bad for them. it’s crazy that even in the first book, the animorphs are killing their enemies - at least I inferred that in book 1, but it becomes way more overt later on...the tough situation of them knowing that the hork-bajir are unwilling hosts but that they’re so dangerous that not killing them could be fatal to the good guys
and ngl this time around I have a lot more sympathy for the yeerks, even tho they don't really deserve it (at least in the early parts of the story where I am rn)
like...they're just these blind helpless slug creatures, but they're also fully sentient and intelligent? like, that's so fucked up. imagine yourself as you are now, but you're just a sensory deprived slug swimming in a pool. that's pretty fucked. and then the fact that the yeerks are biologically made to be parasites...its kinda no wonder that they ended up the way they are (and it also makes stuff like the yeerk peace movement really compelling)
also wow I kinda forgot about all the body horror w/the morphing. like ik that's one of the things that animorphs is known for but like. I forgot how much it happens and how creative the horrifying descriptions are. I love it
and omfg so when I first read this series the ellimist stuff confused me a lot bc I didn't read the books That closely (I mostly wanted to see what would happen next) but I loooove time travel bullshit so I’m really enjoying it so far
even tho tbh I think even if I had paid more attention as a 10 yr old I still would've been confused bc the ellimist stuff is kinda just inherently confusing lmao 
ok and I just love the characters,,,I love that the books switch perspectives, and KAA did such a masterful job of portraying differing and realistic reactions to their situation....like, all the animorphs react so differently to their circumstances, but their reactions are all so grounded in realism and also their personalities 
like man I love rachel. she was one of my favs as a kid too bc I always loved female characters and she was just so cool. and she still is, and so excellently written too 
liiiike the fact that even though she’s so tough and brave, she’s still a kid and has plenty of moments when she’s scared or uncertain...
and I just really like the fact that she out of all of them is the one who’s tough and loves to fight...and the fact that she also unapologetically loves shopping and stuff like that...its about the multifaced characters
just like how marco is the ‘funny guy’ but they make it very clear from the beginning that this is his way of coping w/shit like his family falling apart, and then alien BS 
and also marco is really smart? I kinda forgot abt that (sorry marco) but I like that bc that's uncommon to see with ‘funny’ characters
oh mannnn and ax. I love ax. I forgot a whole bunch about the early stuff w/him and how conflicted he was w/keeping secrets from the other animorphs
KAA did such a fantastic job w/ax - he really comes across as the perfect mix of ‘fish out of water alien’ and ‘young teen/tween’ and ‘alien from a strict militaristic society who is in training to become a soldier like his famous older brother’ 
n that was so sad n fucked up when he called the andalite home world and had to tell everyone (including his parents) that elfangor died, and then the elders or w/e forced ax to take blame for elfangor breaking their laws in order to preserve elfangor’s postmortem reputation, even at the cost of ax’s career/life :( 
and man I loved the part where ax is like ‘well, we didn't help the hork-bajir even tho we could have and now they're all enslaved. I'm not letting that happen to the humans’ and the council or w/e is like ‘well you should let it happen, don't interfere’ and ax basically realizes oh shit sometimes adults are wrong 
basically I love the conflict there, where the andalites are the ones who gave the yeerks the technology that led to them spreading across the galaxy like a disease, and now fight to stop them due to their guilt, but also refuse to directly help the less advanced species who are being invaded by the yeerks for fear of making a similar mistake like w/the yeerks....
ooooof and the part where ax is like ‘guess I have to go fight visser 3 and die’ :( he’s just a babyyyy
and augh when alloran asks them to kill him....geeeez there’s so much fucked up stuff already and I'm not even in the double digits yet 
oh my god and the brutally awful fact that any freed controller will just get tracked down by the yeerks and murdered so the secret invasion stays secret...and the animorphs think that by destroying the kandrona they've freed a bunch of controllers but really they just signed their death warrants - what a catch 22
oh and I love how even early on the yeerks aren't a completely unified force - we have the obvious rivalry w/visser 1 and visser 3, with visser 1 even arranging the animorphs release from visser 3′s prison bc of this, and that yeerk who told ax where to find visser 3 because he was pissed that his yeerk gf got killed by visser 3 - even though the reason she was killed was due to kandrona rationing, which was caused by the animorphs...i love the layers 
ok what else. oh yeah I love tobias sm, he was one of my favs as a kid too, his whole story is so deeply tragic but also interesting and we haven't even gotten into all the stuff w/his parents yet
the part where he’s freaking out as a hawk and he’s gonna fly into the windows even tho he knows it’ll probably kill him...christttt
also tobias and rachel are so romance aughhhh
ok also jake - he was never my favorite when I was younger bc I felt like he had Basic Protag Man Syndrome but now I can appreciate his character a lot more. like, he basically got elected the leader and he’s kinda like ‘guess I have to do this now.’ and that of course ends up fucking him up majorly in the long run bc even tho he’s more serious and responsible, he’s still just a kid too
and I loooove the horror of finding out that tom is a controller, and jake having to contend w/the fact that it’s very likely that he’ll have to fight and/or kill his brother someday 
also the book where jake gets infested w/a yeerk was one of my favs and still is. so fucked up and interesting. the fact that that yeerk was previously tom’s made it even more fucked, w/the yeerk taunting jake the whole time
and then the yeerk dying in jakes head...so messed up
omg and cassie too. I love cassie. I didn't appreciate her as much when I was younger bc I was a straightforward kid who liked action, and cassie is all about pacifism when possible and compassion, which I love a lot now that I Get it more. 
cassie being such a gentle person but still fighting in this fucked up war bc doing nothing would be worse is super compelling. plus the conflicts with her having to figure out where she and humanity fit in the circle of life and whatnot is great
I loved the contrast of her being very aware of how nature works bc of working w/her parents and all these injured animals, but also being so compassionate that it still bothers her to see death and especially participate in it 
like her feeling awful about killing the termite queen even tho its ‘just a bug’ and stuff
basically what makes the series great isn't that it’s got all these fucked up moments and horror elements and is overall quite dark - it’s that all of it comes together to make the point that war is hell, and child soldiers are gonna end up traumatized pretty much no matter what happens
it’s a very strong message, and the story never feels like it’s being dark just for the sake of being dark, but rather never letting the reader forget how awful things are
TL;DR: anirmorphs is to the YA genre what hunter x hunter is to the shounen genre
in animorphs, the heroes of the story are kids who get cool powers and get to fight aliens - in any other YA story they would have a bunch of fun adventures and come out on top most/all the time - things might get darker towards the end, but good would prevail. the evil yeerks would be stopped, and the main couples would get married and have kids and live happily ever after. 
however, war isn't like that, especially when the soldiers are kids. so instead we get animorphs, and it’s brutally realistic. they barely ever get to enjoy their powers - on the rare occasion that they get to, something usually goes horribly wrong
compare to hxh - it seems like a regular shounen story about kids participating in a fantastical mostly-adult world and being able to match the adults bc they're Special - but as the story wears on it becomes clear that the kids are just very traumatized. this all leads to gon’s berserker collapse in the chimera ant arc, which is led up to masterfully w/a bunch of adults treating gon as an adult even though he’s a child.
essentially the same thing happens in animorphs - with jake being shoved into the leader role and becoming a military general as a kid, which leads to him committing horrific war crimes because he’s been put in a position no child should ever have to be in
similarly, kurapika has what would be a very straightforward revenge plotline in any other story - but this is hxh, so the bad guys aren't just 2-dimensional evil caricatures, and the road to revenge just leads kurapika to ruin. we root for kurapika to win bc they’re a character we like, but it becomes clearer and clearer as the story goes on that getting revenge is not the path kurapika should be taking
nothing is ever as straightforward as we want it to be, basically. and the same applies to animorphs. so many times they're faced with conflicts that seem to have an obvious answer, only for it to be revealed later that the choices they made led to other unforeseen awful consequences
ok i need to stop rambling this is already super long. basically: animorphs good. I’ll probably do another post like this semi-soon as I continue reading (I'm partway thru book 10 now)
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goldrushzukka · 3 years
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1, 2, 7, 8, 9. (Sorry, i know that's like...all of them)
1. what themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?
i love writing coming out storylines. it’s not really that they’re uncommon, i just find a lot of catharsis in them. 
2. what are some common elements of stories you are tired of seeing? what would you avoid writing about?
i tend to avoid writing sibling dynamics bc i’m an only child and therefore not really. qualified. i love reading it though!! 
7. favourite description in your WIP?
it was really hard to pick one so i have a few answers for this bc i love to talk about myself so. (under the cut bc JESUS this got long but spoilers for and i’ll do anything you say (read it here!) ahead!!!)
- from chapter 2:
Sokka looks at him, a fantasy come to life, and takes off his stupid sweatpants.
He throws them at Zuko’s head, and earns himself a short burst of that real laugh, shocked and unguarded.
“You asshole,” Zuko says. He sits up and grabs Sokka’s hand, pulling him down on top of him. Something comes alive under Sokka’s skin where Zuko’s fingers graze his wrist. He calls it lust and ignores the fact that it feels nothing like it.
Zuko kisses him, his mouth still in the shape of laughter, and the alive thing screams for his attention. Sokka buries it and hopes it won’t deafen him before they’re done.
im very fond of this whole chapter (i think it’s probably my favourite? it was definitely the easiest to write) but i really love looking back on this part particularly now that we’re in the angsty part of the story bc this is where it all started. yes technically it started in chapter 1 but this is when sokka starts to fall for zuko. this is the beginning of all those pesky non-casual feelings that he’s going to pretend don’t exist until someone else calls him out on them.
- also from chapter 2:
He’s forty-five minutes late already, and when he knocks, a woman made of pursed lips and sharp angles answers the door. She looks elegant and expensive the same way a skyscraper does. Or a cache of medieval weaponry.
“Oh,” Sokka says, digging into his pocket to find the map on his phone. “I must have the wrong place, sorry -”
She looks him up and down, her eyes narrowed in a way that feels violent and practiced, and her smirk turns distasteful. Sokka risks a glance down at himself, at his torn up jeans - not distressed, just torn - and the Madonna t-shirt he’s pretty sure actually belongs to Katara, and thinks she might have a point. The bag in his hand feels heavier when her eyes land on it.
“Zuzu,” the woman calls into the apartment, “your dinner’s here.”
“I didn’t order -” Zuko appears in the doorway, bitter frustration in his expression as he looks at the woman.
His eyes fall on Sokka, though, and his face clears into a light-pollution smile.
this is technically two so i will start with: i love azula. i haven’t found any room to bring her back yet but believe me i am LOOKING. she’s hot and mean and gay and i LOVE HER. oh also insider scoop but suki’s date from earlier in this chapter.......WAS azula. they probably won’t see each other again because once azula met sokka and connected his face to the Best Friends Forever picture frame on suki’s desk she stopped answering the phone.
pt 2: i’ve had a couple of comments mention the “light-pollution smile” line specifically and i am always so happy to read them bc yeah. YEAH. i’ll admit it. that line HITS. 
- from chapter 4:
He sets his phone down - only, he doesn’t. He misses the table by a mile, and in his scramble to catch his phone before it breaks on the hardwood floor and wakes Momo on the cushion beside him, his hand finds the lip of his cereal bowl, and then that’s falling, too. He manages to catch the phone, but something in his head gets lost in translation on its way down his arms, and he ends up with a boxers-only lap full of soggy Cheerios.
Momo gets a splash of milk on his back and hisses at Zuko for his crimes, and somehow that’s the worst part of it.
haley @fruitysokka said that this passage reads like an action movie and i think about it all the time. (thank u haley i love u)
- lastly this extended metaphor from chapter 6:
The soup is good, once the heat of it clears him up enough to taste it. It’s thick and warm and there��s enough pepper that Sokka gets a kick from it even in his condition. He feels it all the way down his throat and into his stomach, where it mixes with the prickly nervousness he’s feeling from Zuko’s attention.
He sets the bowl down on the table and asks, eyes stuck on his hands in Momo’s fur where he’s climbed into his lap, “How was the date?”
“It was good, actually,” Zuko says. “Jet seems like a nice guy. He’s very - uh - passionate, I guess you could call it? He’s a climate and human rights activist.”
The spines of Sokka’s nervousness turn to daggers.
...
“I said yes. We’re getting lunch on Sunday.”
The daggers are swords now, and Sokka’s heart sinks down, down, down, right to the hilt.
...
“I’ll text you when I’m home,” Zuko promises, and Sokka’s heart skewers itself on a second sword.
Zuko’s smile when Sokka says, “Thank you for the soup,” is a third.
The door closing behind him is a fourth.
The silence as Sokka shuffles back to bed is every single one that remains.
something something canon swordsmen something pride comes before the fall something chivalry fell on his sword from eden by hozier. you guys get it i dont have to explain myself
8. favourite dialogue in your WIP?
ok so i cant share my actual favourite dialogue bc it's a spoiler for chapter 8 and i technically haven't written it yet (it's in my brain just.....plaguing me) but it's GOOD i SWEAR so. once again i have more than one answer bc actually? i love this fic and im proud of it. deal with it.
- from chapter 1:
“Hey, stranger,” Sokka says, still watching him in the mirror. The corner of Zuko’s mouth ticks up.
“You’re not following me, are you?” Zuko’s tone is seductive, endlessly so, and Sokka wonders while he dries his hands if he has to put it on or if he just sounds like that.
“You give a guy one compliment and he thinks you’re stalking him,” Sokka mutters, and Zuko laughs, low and enticing. Not the genuine, endearing laugh of this morning, but one with an agenda.
Well. Sokka always likes a plan.
“Are you following me? ” Sokka asks. He spies a miraculous dry patch on the sink bank and tries to be casual about the way he hops up to sit on it.
“I might be,” Zuko says, and at Sokka’s raised eyebrow, he continues, “I saw you at the bar and I wanted to talk to you. Sue me.”
“You wanted to talk.”
“Amongst other things.”
as a chronically awkward person i am INSANELY proud of the flirting in this fic. no idea if it would work in a real life situation. excited to never find out bc im not about to use lines from my fanfiction on real women. 
- from chapter 2
“You must be Suki,” Zuko says. He meets her gaze, and his fingers go still under Momo’s chin.
“And you’re Zuko,” Suki replies, her smile all different shades of intimidating. “I’d shake your hand, but I know where it’s just been.”
i wrote this entire scene just so i could have suki say this. im not even joking. suki is my favourite part of this entire fic and its not even ABOUT her.
- from chapter 3:
When Sokka crosses the room and slips under the covers beside him, Zuko says, “I can leave, if you want. I can go home.”
...
He asks, still barely hovering over Zuko, “What if I don’t want that?”
Zuko swallows. “I can stay.”
“So stay,” Sokka says, and lays his head down on Zuko’s chest.
i just think it’s sweet. i like it a lot. makes my heart hurt a little when i think about it. 
- from chapter 4:
[Suki // 15:13] there is a LOT of chmpagrjn
[Suki // 15:13] cahpmhagne
[Suki // 15:13] chsanpghn
[Suki // 15:14] alcohol :)
once again: suki is the best part of this whole fic. i love her so much. she is the reason the word bestie exists. im really proud of the texting in this fic bc it’s my first time actually including it in fic and it’s turned out really well!!
- ok last one bc i just realised this is turning into a novel. from chapter 4:
“How’s my baby?”
Zuko glances down at Momo, batting at the untied laces of his shoes with one determined paw. “He’s doing just fine.”
“And how’s Momo?”
“He’s - what?”
are there better written, more narratively important and emotive lines in this fic? yes. is this the best part of the entire thing? also yes. i invented the jin/yue wedding because i needed a reason for zuko to have a key in what became chapter 6, but sometimes i think the entire fic exists just for this exchange. best dialogue i have ever written.
9. what scene was the hardest for you to write and why?
the start of chapter 6 of aidays was difficult. i kept wanting to skip ahead to the meaty parts - i.e, zuko and his soup - but i didn’t want to do sokka a disservice like that. it was also really hard to maintain the balance of accurately describing the delirium of illness while still being coherent for the reader? so that took me a couple of days to get right.
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mousehole5000 · 3 years
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tgcf chapters 107 - 120 this is one where i give some Opinions. i do overall like hualian a lot but i have some quibbles
wait why am i still taking screenshots? i can copy/paste again afskldfjasad
It really was hard to tell whether people would feel happy after watching such performances. However, in truth, slaughter and the sight of blood did create excitement in people. Whether or not there was fear, after the initial shock was over, a rush of adrenaline would be produced in the heart- me watching horror movies
“Shi Qingxuan said. “Then, Your Highness, Crimson Rain Sought Flower! I order you to—to immediately strip each other’s clothing!” - djslkadjlsd WHY DID HE SPECIFICALLY SAY THEY HAD TO STRIP EACH OTHER THISALSKDJ is this a normal thing is it a wingman attempt what is happening
“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything. That’s the worst suffering in the world.” ... “Ming Yi asked, “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”- when truth or dare gets a bit too real
On the side, Hua Cheng was still only observing, and was already bored to the point where he’d changed back into his red robes. Then he changed to black robes again. Then to white robes. Almost every time Xie Lian looked back, he would be donning a different appearance, and with every new look there were different hairstyles, and different accessories, and different boots, and so on; sometimes playful, sometimes elegant, sometimes deadly, sometimes glamourous. Xie Lian was growing dizzy from all the colours and kept looking back, unable to look away. - THIS ISNT THE TIME HUA CHENG. YOURE PRIMPING. THE WINDMASTER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND YOURE PRIMPING
obsessed with xie lian not being able to figure out to use the windmaster’s fan and just. using it to SMACK
also windmaster??? whats going on??? :( i know some things from spoilers like who is not to be trusted but i really have no clue whats happening rn
anyways back to puqi shrine lets check on those kids also can we PLEASE get some funds for this restoration smh. hua cheng and xie lian doing mundane hard labor together to fulfill prayers.... :pleading:
jailbreak in the heavens 2: dig a tunnel
Sure enough, the moment Ming Yi put pressure on his shovel, a hole opened up before them. With the shovel raised, he burrowed crazily ahead while Shi Qingxuan, in the middle, cheered him on crazily. As the only non-crazy person, Xie Lian brought up the rear. That treasured shovel of the Earth Master was indeed magical, and with only a few strokes, a new tunnel of over ten meters was dug. - anybody remember mulch diggums from the artemis fowl series? this is much more dignified than that but i think this is only the second time ive read a character just starting digging a tunnel as a plot point
okay so much is going on i wish i hadnt spoiled who certain characters actually are for myself but i have no one to blame but me for a) not blacklisting spoilers at all and b) just having a little freefall through the tags. oh well. anyway heavenly college admissions scandal except way worse. the corruption extends to the heavens and the windmaster is having a very bad day
i guess we’re having a high seas adventure now?
im gonna keep it real im getting tired of how often we get told how handsome hua cheng is. i know its all xie lian’s pov and while im not terribly familiar with it i know what genre we’re working with and im assuming thats pretty typical. its something i dont much care for in general and idk maybe it sounds better in the original but ngl its starting to make me roll my eyes. love you goth king but god okay we get it.
i guess what i will say about hualian so far is that overall i like them and i like how they interact in general they have a lot of nice moments and they just genuinely seem to like each other which is really nice to see EXCEPT for when it actually comes to things that could be romantic or sexual which is a shame bc i dont think it has to be like this. again disclaimer that im only reading a translation and dont know everything might not have all the knowledge necessary to accurately criticize etc etc and im assuming a lot of this is expected from the genre (disclaimer to this disclaimer that i cant say that for sure its just based on things ive picked up about the bl genre over the years) but idk like xie lian was so distressed after their underwater kiss scene. it was kind of uncomfortable to read and maybe im being unfair i know his cultivation is based around abstinence or whatever but idk i dont care for it. and that scene alone doesnt have to be a bad thing like idk i guess its his first kiss ever (?) and it would make sense if he feels weird about it but i just have my doubts thats going to be addressed or resolved in a satisfying way. also im like. dude everyone is like centuries old. xie lian’s been on earth for 800 years. has he really never met or heard of a gay person during all this time? maybe he hasnt idk what he got up to yet maybe that’s actually a thing. also same thing with the reactions from the immortals to xie lian in a dress and characters like the windmaster like again you’re all centuries old and its not uncommon to be able to just completely change gender presentation. why are you all weird about a man wearing a woman’s dress? i just feel like that shouldnt be a big deal to these characters idk
also again not going to lie part of this that im not really a big fan of reading romance in general. yes i am reading this book. yes i do read and write a lot of fanfic that includes or centers romance. im multifaceted. but really what im talking about is the like physical side of it and descriptions im extremely picky about it. ill give an example. early on in the torture pit (or whatever it was called i cant remember lol) when xie lian kind of accidentally felt up hua cheng in the dark when he was being carried. i dont think thats a bad thing to have happen between the two romantic leads i think thats fine and good to include that early but i just did not enjoy reading it when it happened idk maybe it was the wording and i do think that moments like these work better in a visual medium. ive definitely read het romance that reads like this and i wasnt a fan of that either lol same with fanfic i get tired when writers go on and on about how hot one characters finds another character. this isnt a huge criticism of it like i said im picky but again like with the way that hua cheng is described it just makes me roll my eyes sorry kings
okay back to the reading. this whole saving the fishermen thing feels like a big set up for something narrative-wise. hua cheng specifically insisted on coming and i know one of the characters involved ends up dying im wondering if thats now it would be a good time tbh if things get just a bit too unfortunate during this heavenly calamity... and the brothers are notably not having a harmonious time... also tho it feels very likely we’ll just have another Hualian Moment (tm)
In such a situation, Pei Ming still acted the same. In the evening, when they rescued a few fishermen girls, so scared their eyes were blurry from tears, he held them in his embrace and soothed them with a gentle voice; a true show of honeyed romance, affectionate and charming. - pei ming please get pickled again.
also its funny that hua cheng is just kinda hanging out and everyone else just has to deal with it
Looking down from above, the entire area was painted in a terrifying black. It was easy to see the collision between the two different-coloured currents. Their fierce battle was what formed this enormous whirlpool. As the eye swallowed the ship whole, the two currents of water separated. However, the battle was far from over. Like two venomous vipers, they continued to snap at each other. Each collision was followed by a mountain of angry waves. - this pretty dope ngl. also love our wind and earth masters just chilling on a shovel i dig it. hehe
Yet, other than discovering Hua Cheng had a fine body, there were no other finds. Xie Lian was at his wit’s end and started to worry. - okay see this one’s funny im just also irritated bc im like WE KNOW!!! WE GET IT HE’S HOT AND XIE LIAN THINKS HE’S HOT OKAY GOT IT
okay kiss #2 again its not the kisses themselves its xie lian’s reaction it just bothers me idk im not saying i need him to be super into it and completely unconflicted about it rn but he’s just so freaked out about it and idk i just dont really like it just feels weird i dont care for that aspect of it. also dude hua cheng is a ghost and he did this exact same thing for you before just chill. i wish instead of xie lian literally running away while screaming that hes sorry he was just like “oh haha youre fine thats cool im gonna go look around the woods i dont feel weird about this at all haha” like idk its kind of funny but when its literally our two romantic leads i just feel like its confusing like it kind of makes me feel like they shouldnt be together if one of them freaks out this much again considering the fact that they are both CENTURIES old. i know i know xie lian is an 800 year old virgin but. he hasn’t been like this about anything else so yeah idk like it still could have been awkward and funny i just dont think it needed to be so :/ that being said it was funny that xie lian was then internally like “oh i did it wrong? perhaps i should ask him for more.. instructions....” if that actually happens i might like it bc it would complete this little watery theme
Before he finished, he immediately remembered. Coffin wood. There were trees here everywhere; and a deceased? There was one right before his eyes. Sure enough, Hua Cheng smiled. “Won’t it be fine once I lie inside? - love that hua cheng just sat on the fact that he can turn anything into a coffin. that would have been really useful information earlier but no he just waited until everyone but xie lian was gone afjaklsdjf
also i do think that oblivious xie lian thinking “wow whoever it is that hua cheng fancies is an idiot for not liking him back theyre totally taking him for granted :/” is kind of funny and sweet. actually the whole conversation they have at the campfire is good and im bookmarking it to think about later
“...You on top and me on the bottom,” Xie Lian replied. “Isn’t top and bottom the same?” Hua Cheng asked. - okay im sorry but. mood whenever theres discourse about top/bottom dynamics for a ship im just like jesus christ i dont care. tbh i rarely read fanfiction if its just sexual and ngl if i see a fic specifically tag characters as top or bottom i wont read it lmfao. especially when people have really strong opinions about this stuff when theres nothing canonical to back it up like headcanon all you want but whenever i see people argue about it im just like no offense but go work out your own sexual issues and dynamics instead of arguing with strangers on the internet about who’s a top and who’s a bottom. sorry to be mean but just thats how i feel lol
this was mostly a ramble with a few excerpts but im getting sleepy im going to TRY to take a break from this for like a day but we’ll see how that goes i do very much want to know what happens. anyway if you read this whole thing hiiiiii sorry for subjecting you to my opinions on top/bottom discourse
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ehstarwar · 4 years
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flesh stays no farther reason (1/6)
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Great, she thinks, another horny creep trying to entice young women to hop into bed with them for roughly 30 seconds.
She reads the post anyways.
-
Five times Ben looks for Rey and the one time she finds him.
-
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 5K
Read on AO3
Notes: 
my brain at 2a.m., assuring me that it'll be a one-shot: for the lady, perhaps a salad?
me, 5,000+ words in and only on their first meeting: [chuckling] perhaps not
-
1
what's to come is still unsure
She sees it on Reddit.
She doesn’t normally scroll through the website (certainly not subreddits like this) but she’s bored and can only take the same Buzzfeed quizzes so many times.
She’s not sure what led her to this page, how the rabbit hole of the internet made her search r/mseekingfcorusant but here she was, scrolling through the disjointed thoughts of horny guys in her area.
Posted by u/droidwrangerl88
need hot girl to bang. serious inquiries only.
Posted by u/mycumtastelikesarlacc
Any girls in the Coruscant area looking to hook up this evening? 38M seeking mid-20sF. Will split hotel bill.
Posted by u/hotbountyhunter3483
any females interested in shredded guy for an evening? willing to meet for drinks b4 hand, and will pay for ur drinks if ur hot. (943) 349-9684 ;)
Rey finds it consistently astonishing how gross and vulgar men can be when hidden behind a screen. But she is scrolling on this page out of her own free will, so it does seem a little ‘pot-calling-the-kettle-black-ish.’ Just as her finger goes to press back to the home-screen, a tiny blue bubble appears at the top of the page, indicating that there has been a new post made. Great, she thinks, another horny creep trying to entice young women to hop into bed with them for roughly 30 seconds.
She reads the post anyways.
Posted by u/KyL0_R3N
31M seeking similarly aged F for the evening of 05/17. I have an important meeting on the 18th and sex the night before proves to a good luck charm for me. Nothing too crazy or obscene, fairly vanilla to start off with, but willing to go further based on her desires.
Something in Rey clenches.
It’s by far the most eloquently phrased way of asking for sex that she’s seen thus far. He seems straightforward, which is refreshing, but she knows that the best of psychopaths are good at hiding their true intention.
She clicks to his profile.
He seems interested in pretty common threads. Cooking tips, best laundromats in Coruscant, Galaxy Battles discourse; all innocuous and nothing to indicate he would chop up whoever responds to his post. Maybe that’s why she sends him a message.
From u/R3yoflight
why not just download tinder?
everyone on tinder is looking for sex too.
She bites her lip as she presses send. It’s not the best conversation starter, she’s aware, but their semi-introduction was from him posting about wanting to have sex to preform well in a meeting. Formalities can be forgone, in this particular situation. It’s not like she’s trying to impress him either; she didn’t message him to accept is offer, just merely because she’s curious.
There’s a pang of nervousness when she hears the notification sound out that he’s responded.
From u/KyL0_R3N
There’s too much preamble on dating apps.
Also, I’m looking to have sex, not to date.
It seemed more advantageous
to be straightforward.
From u/R3yoflight
hmmmm
i guess that makes sense
(also advantageous is worth 17 points in
scrabble, so kudos)
have you gotten many interested respondents?
From u/KyL0_R3N
You’re the first.
From u/R3yoflight
who says i’m interested???
From u/KyL0_R3N
Well, you are the one who messaged me?
Also, my post has been up for only a few minutes,
so you’re the first respondent in any capacity.
From u/R3yoflight
oooohhh i feel special ☺️✨
From u/KyL0_R3N
You’ve yet to tell me if you’re interested.
Is she?
Is she really considering letting Mr. KyL0_R3N fuck her after meeting him through a publicly placed internet post and knowing next to nothing about him?
From u/R3yoflight
maybe??
idk v much abt u yet
how do i know ur not a serial killer
or that u actually are who u say u are
which u haven’t yet
said who u are, that is
From u/KyL0_R3N
I’m  31M. I work in Coruscant at a tech company.
I’m 6’3, 190lbs. I’m not a killer in any capacity.
You haven’t told me anything about yourself,
which hardly seems fair.
From u/R3yoflight
24F, 5’6, i’m not telling u my weight
i work at an auto shop downtown so i can
kick ur ass if ur lying abt not being a killer
From u/KyL0_R3N  
In order to kick my ass, we’d have to meet.
So, are you interested or not?
From u/R3yoflight
i shouldn’t be
From u/KyL0_R3N
I have the distinct feeling that you are.
Am I right?
From u/R3yoflight
...
yeah
-
He tells her his name is Kylo Ren, which she thinks sounds stupid and made up, but doesn’t press him. They hammer out some more details, agreeing to meet at the bar of a swanky hotel downtown first, and if all goes well, he’ll have a room reserved for them.
When she tells him that she can’t afford to pay any of the room, he dismisses her flippantly with a quick ‘I’ll take care of it’ that makes her chest feel tight.
They don’t talk much after that, only a message from her a few days before hand, making sure the plan was still on, and an affirmative from his side. But a few hours before they’re supposed to meet up, Rey gets a notification from him. It distracts her from the task at hand (precision shaving of her legs and… other parts), causing a knick on the back of her calf.
From u/KyL0_R3N
While I don’t think that we’ll be doing
anything that would require
a safe word, I’d like to have one in case.
From u/R3yoflight
i’ve never had a safe word.
what’s a good one?
From u/KyL0_R3N
It doesn’t have to be anything special.
We can stick to a traditional scale.
Green means you’re good.
Yellow means slow down.
Red means to stop entirely.
Does that work?
From u/R3yoflight
yeah thats good
why don’t you think that we won’t be doing
anything to justify a safe word?
you planning to go easy on me 😈
From u/KyL0_R3N
That depends, sweetheart.
How far are you willing to go?
Rey thinks for a moment. She should have some hard lines set, especially since he’s a total stranger. In fact, she shouldn’t be fucking a stranger at all. But she was in this far, so she may as well go all in.
From u/R3yoflight
i’m not super into choking but a lil breath play
is okay
no extreme bondage or degradation
maybe at some point but just… not now
anything in my ass will require a lot of work
before hand bc not much has been in there.
any hard no’s 4 u?
i’m on birth control so u can come inside me
if you want
From u/KyL0_R3N
I think we should stick to no
bondage/degradation/breath play for now
I’m not super into those anyways.
I’ll keep that in mind about your ass.
Maybe nothing in my ass. For now.
That about covers my no’s.
What are some of you hard yes’s?
From u/R3yoflight
i like being taken control of, dominated, i guess
kissing is big for me but i get it if u don’t like it
also major daddy kink but that can be
controlled if its not ur thing
what do u like
From u/KyL0_R3N
Very much yes to that Daddy kink and kissing.
I lean towards dom anyway, so that should work out.
I like hickeys. Giving and receiving.
I also have pretty good stamina, just a warning.
From u/R3yoflight
i like a man with good stamina ;)
u gonna wear me out tonight? 😈
From u/KyL0_R3N
Yes. Yes I am.
-
She gets there late. Unlike every other time she runs late for something, this time is purposeful. If he gets angry with her, she’ll know to leave. And she’s counting on that. Him giving her a reason to leave. She needs it so she doesn’t do something stupider than what she’s already doing now.
But when she arrives and see’s the absolute mammoth of a man, with long-is black hair and moles and big ears, Rey just knows she’s in for it.
He stands when he sees her. Realistically she knew that 6’3 was tall, but it’s still a bit shocking to her. One of his gargantuan hands is holding a beer, the other resting on the back of the chair. She spends a second too long admiring his form, earning a knowing-but-slight smirk from him.
“You’re Kylo.” It’s an unnecessary statement, because who else could he be, but one that is said all the same.
“And you’re Rey.”
His fucking voice. It’s too beautiful to be addressing her, she’s sure of it.
“Work ran over, that’s why I’m late.” She wasn’t going to give him an excuse, but the words fall out of her mouth.
“I’m familiar with that myself. It’s no trouble, really.” He holds the chair out for her, and she gracefully takes a seat. A server comes around and takes her drink order of a club soda before scurrying off.
“Nothing to relax the nerves?” He question, taking a sip of his drink.
“I prefer to have a clear head for…” She trails off. What does this qualify as? A hook-up? A booty-call? A job interview?
“Good girl.”
Her breath stops for a moment before she remembers its necessary to survive.
“You said you work for a tech company downtown; is it close?” She asks, hoping she sounds passive.
“Not far. I need to be close for tomorrow.” He never looks away from her; it makes her sweat.
The server comes back with her drink, and Rey takes a giant gulp, just for something to preoccupy her mouth.
“You said you work for an auto shop downtown. What do you do there?” He asks, eying her hands curiously. Rey worries that he’ll realize she wasn’t actually at work if her hands aren’t greasy, so she hides them under the table.
“I’m a mechanic,” She tells him, sitting up straighter.
“You’re…” He begins, but she cuts him off.
“A woman mechanic, yes. It’s not entirely uncommon.”
“I was going to say young.” She bites her lip. His voice doesn’t sound like its chastising her, but she feels bad all the same.
“Most men are uncomfortable with the fact that I know more about cars than them.” Rey doesn’t know why she continues to challenge him, but his reactions always surprise her.
It’s… nice.
“Do I seem like I’m uncomfortable by that?”
She regards him. “No, but you did proposition anyone with computer access, so I think your threshold for uncomfortable must be very high.”
He doesn’t laugh, per se, but the corners of his mouth lift and his cheeks become tight. She smiles at the sight.
“Seems that we’re both very bold. A female mechanic and an online propositioner. We make for quite a pair.”
“Hopefully that means the sex will be good.”
Kylo Ren does smile at that.
His hand is on the small of her back when they get in the elevator and Rey is actively trying to ignore the fluttering in her gut, which is why the words blurt out of her.
“My roommate knows where we are!” It’s a loud noise in an otherwise quiet area, but Kylo doesn’t seem startled by it. He just looks down at her. “I have to be back at the apartment, in person, by noon tomorrow or she’s calling the cops.” Rey is quieter now but her voice still shakes.
“My meeting is at 10, so you’ll have plenty of time to get back to your place. I can have my driver drop you off there, if you like,” He says.
“Thats… not why I’m telling you. But that you. I mean, my roommate will know if something bad happens to me. So it would be wise of you to not kill me.” Rey gulps.
Kylo’s hand comes to her face and brushes a piece of hair behind her ear.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Rey.” His voice is soft. “I’m not going to kill you, or hit you, or do anything you don’t want me to do.” She’s facing him now. “If you feel uncomfortable, I wouldn’t be mad. You can leave whenever you want.”
“But what do you want? You’ve asked me what I’ve wanted in every interaction we’ve had, but all I know is that you want to fuck somebody so that you’re not nervous or whatever tomorrow. Do you even want me? Or was I just the first person who responded to you post? It goes both ways, ya know. You need to tell me what you want, too.”
His hand brushes the side of her jaw, his eyes trail down her face, no doubt seeing the nervous expression she wears.
“I want you, Rey.”
-
His lips are on hers the moment the door is shut. His hand cradles the back of her head as he shoves his body against hers, pinning her to the wall. His other hand grips her hip and will definitely leave a bruise. She loves it.
But his warm, wet mouth on hers with his plush, pink lips makes any coherent thought leave her head. She moans into his mouth, hands trying desperately to pop open the buttons of his shirt. She makes a sound of frustration when the last stubborn button won’t come undone, and his hands are there in an instant, ripping the thing straight off. She slides her hands along his toned chest as his tongue invades her mouth. When her hands venture further south, they find the more than impressive bulge straining against his slacks.
“I should’ve… asked you earlier…” He says into her mouth as he sucks off the remaining shirt and suit jacket, “if you… like… dirty talk.” Rey keens against him, forcing his mouth to go to her neck as she breathes out a chant of ‘yes, yes, yes.’
Kylo makes a noise of approval before hoisting her into his arms. Rey’s legs instinctively wrap around his hips as he walks them towards the bed.
“Good, because it would be a shame not to be able to tell you that I can’t wait to taste your cunt.”  
Rey has died.
She has died and gone to whatever afterlife will have her.
She never wants to leave it.
“You… don’t… you don’t have to…” She manages to say between kisses. Kylo pulls back from her then, eyes dark, hair a mess, lip red and bitten.
“I want to. Will you let me?” Rey nods so fast she’s worried her neck will be sore. His hands ruck up her cotton dress, until he decides that the offending material will need to be off all together. She’s left in her black bralette and underwear and Kylo stares down at her.
“My tit’s aren’t that big. I’m sorry if you were looking forward to-”
“They’re perfect,” He cuts her off by kissing down her chest, mouthing her nipples through the dark fabric. The heat of his mouth combined with the coolness of the room make her nipples stand at attention, pebbling at the fabric.
Kylo depends further, and puts his entire face against her still-clothed pussy, inhaling and licking her through the fabric. Rey is a whiny mess against the sheets, hair in every direction, full body blush. She hopes he thinks she’s hot because, god, she’s never sen anyone like him.
Kylo takes of her panties and immodestly begins lapping at her cunt, no warning or hesitation, making Rey give something of a moan and a yelp. Her hand goes to his hair, feeling the luscious locks between her fingers. His hands go to her ass, lifting her up slightly so he gets a better angle.
“You’re… too good… at this…” She manages between breaths. Rey would bet anything he’s smirking against her.
Kylo uses his nose to rub at her clit before alternating between kitten licks and sucking on it. It takes no time at all for Rey to come. So quickly, in fact, that she would be embarrassed if she could move. Her whole body is on fire as he licks her through it, occasionally using a hand to brush at her nipples. The tears streaming out of her eyes and drool gathering at the corner of her mouth must make her look ghastly, but Kylo doesn’t seem to mind.
When he finally sits back, still between her legs, she can make out the bulge from earlier, now even more prominent.
He’s looking down at her, at the mess he’s made of her, and against every instinct, she lets him.
“I don’t normally come that fast,” she tells him. Her voice is quiet even now, and she knows it’ll be strained tomorrow. Good, something to remember him by.
“It won’t take me that long to come, either,” he admits, having the kindness to look sheepish as he says it.
“Then what are you waiting for?”
Kylo represses a smile.
He gets off the bed, shucking his pants, underwear, and socks off in one felt swoop, leaving him gorgeously bare before her. If she though the bulge was impressive, the real thing is even better. His cock is red and pointed upwards as he stands across from her. His hand goes to pump himself a few times, smearing the precome along his length. Rey can’t help but reach out, whole body going with her as she opens her mouth to bring Kylo towards her. His hand stops her, gently, and she looks up at him in confusion.
“I want to suck you off,” She tells him, brows still furrowed.
“Later,” he tells her.
Kylo pulls her back up the bed with him, so that he hovers over her as he kisses her again. She still taste herself on him, but can’t find the heart to care. Her hands go to wrap around him, feeling the thickness for herself. Huge is an understatement. But Rey’s always been ambitious.
She pumps him a little, feeling him nearly whimper in her mouth.
“You gonna let me fuck you, baby?” he murmurs.
“Yes… yes please…”
Rey feels his hand come over hers as Kylo slots himself between her legs and aligns his cock to her core. He slides in, slowly, stretching her the whole way. She pants against his skin, digs her nails into his shoulder.
“Tell me if it’s too much.” His voice sounds strained, like he’s holding back from her.
“It’s good, daddy… so good…” she pants.
He whines some curses against her skin as he finishes seating himself inside of her.
“… so good, sweetheart. Takin’ me so well… taking your daddy so well,” He mumbles, pressing kisses to any part of her skin. Rey can already feel the beginning of another orgasm itch inside of her, and for the first time in a while, she has no doubt that Kylo will get her there.
“Daddy… you can move… please,” She’s breathless as she asks him. He groans above her and rest his forehead against hers.
His hips being to move, still slow, but making her breath hitch ever shallow thrust.
“Tight… so tight for me…” He mumbles. Rey takes a minute to look at him, really look at him. He’s flushed, skin damp, but he’s still so very handsome. Moles dot his face and she can’t resist using a hand to trace them. His hair tickles her nose, so she pushes it back behind his ears, which are a bit too big for his head but she adores them.
Kylo lets Rey take him in, but gets her attention back to the moment with a quick snap of his hips.
“Can you come again?” He asks, and Rey nods. His mouth depends on her neck, sucking hickeys to every patch of skin it finds, as he pushes into her. She can feel the bump of his cock every time he bottoms out, a sensation she’s never felt before, and it makes her clench him every time. His hand skates down between them to get to her clit, and he quickly begins rubbing her there.
“Gonna let me fill you with my come? Gonna be a good girl and hold it all in? Can you do that for me baby? Huh?” His words send shivers down her spine, aiding in his pursuit to get her to come again. She mumbles incoherent words of approval, trying to tel him “yes, yes! I’ll be your good girl!” but speech fails her at the moment.
But Rey knows Kylo understands what she’s trying to say.
She feels his rhythm falter and his hand speeds against her clit. She tightens her legs around his hips, trying to wordlessly tell him she’s close too.
“Please, baby, please come for me…” His voice is desperate and strained and makes her shudder. Her hips find purchase against the base of his cock, in combination with the movement of his fingers, and she’s thrust into the abyss again.
Kylo holds her against him as she comes, whole body vibrating, and he follows after her. He grunts against a pillow as he comes, and Rey is distantly aware that he’s actually biting the poor thing. His come is hot within her, and she feels him pulse as he keeps slamming his hips to hers. The slapping of skin slows as she feels his body let go of the tension, and Rey is boneless beneath him.
He lays on her, still half-hard inside of her, as they come down from their mutual high. They are both breathing so heavily that speaking is out of the question, at least for a while. Kylo pulls out of her, and a mad rush of fluid starts to leak out of her. She clenches, remembering his words from earlier.
Part of her expects a coldness afterwards; after all, that’s what most sex has been for her. Once he’s come, he leaves. It’s the oldest story in the book. And for all Kylo’s talk of ‘stamina’, there’s still a part of her that expects it’s just a façade.
But he doest leave her, cold and debauched, to get redressed and make a hasty exit. Instead, he plants a kiss to the side of her jaw and rubs her torso sweetly before helping her sit up. She’s weak, and he knows it.
“We need to get you cleaned up,” He says when she slouch against him. She mumbles something unintelligible into his skin. Instead of getting rough with her, Kylo just soothes her. “Women are 38% more likely to get a UTI if they don’t pee after sex. That’s not a parting gift I’d like to give you,” he elaborates.
Rey sighs, but lets Kylo get her to the bathroom.
-
They sleep in spurts.
For a few hours after their first time, before Kylo wakes her with the incessant press of his hard cock into her abdomen. (He takes her even more slowly that time, sleepy and still blissed out. He comes before she does, but he uses his fingers to get her there, still.)
A few hours after that, Rey makes good on her promise to get her mouth on him, waking him with her mouth already working him. (His come tastes bitter and tangy, but she swallows it because it’s his.) She sits on his face afterwards, letting his tongue get her off again.
The next time she wakes, Kylo is kissing her chest, licking at her now oversensitive nipples. There’s a faint light peaking through the windows and Rey knows their time is coming to an end. She runs a hand through his hair to indicate she’s awake now, but he keeps on in his pursuit. Only when her chest spit-covered and shiny does Kylo seem satisfied with his work, and lifts his head to look at Rey.
“Good Morning,” She mumbles, voice strained as expected, and still groggy from sleep. He hums his response, and presses a sweet, lingering kiss to her lips.
Rey glances at the clock, noting its just past 7, when they both sit up in bed. Kylo goes to say something, but is cut off by the grumbling of Rey’s stomach. Her cheeks heat as his voice falls silent.
“Sorry… I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning,” she admits. Kylo’s brow furrows for a moment, but the dark expression passes fleetingly.
“Let’s rectify that first, shall we?”
-
The breakfast menu for room service is extensive, and Kylo orders one of everyone instead of actually looking it over. Rey can only half-heartedly try to tell him it was too much, when her eyes catch a glimpse of the fluffiest looking waffles she’s ever seen. Kylo had only kissed her head and ordered before walking into the shower.
It arrives in record time, a result, she’s sure, of the high-class hotel he got for them. The room, which she’d been too preoccupied to notice last night, is opulent. A bit gaudy for her taste (were gold curtains really necessary), but Rey was in no position to complain. She hesitated to put on actual clothes, instead opting for the plush robe that hung in the wardrobe.
Rey is half into the whole meal when Kylo emerges from the bathroom, towel hung low on his hips and hair still damp. Rey bites her lip so hard she draws blood. He sits across from her, picking up the two plates she hand’t touched.
“Greek Youghert and fruit? Don’t you want a waffle? I saved some whipped cream for you.” She extends the aforementioned whipped cream, earring her a slight smile from Kylo.
“You’re very kind, but no thank you. This is what I eat every morning,” he tells her. Rey scrunches her face. Kylo pours himself some black coffee too, and Rey finds the will to keep her mouth shut.
They eat in companionable silence, Rey scarfing down whatever her hands touch, and Kylo methodically eating his healthy-dude breakfast. Rey notes that neither of them are on their phones; it’s perhaps the first meal she’s had with someone in a while where that’s the case. Like everything else that’s made her heart flutter with him, she tries to ignore it.
Once the table is thoroughly pillaged, Kylo gets up to get dressed and says nothing when Rey hops on the bed and continues to watch him. He’s not embarrassed by nudity, clearly, and tosses the towel away for a solid 5 minutes before putting on underwear.
He’s fully dressed shortly and applies some product to his hair that has writing in french, yet Rey is still wearing only the robe and probably still has his come on her thighs. And other areas.
Part of her thinks he’ll just carry on with his routine as if she’s not there. He’ll pack his suit from the night before and leave the room without an second glance her way. Much to her relief, she’s wrong.
When he’s finally ready, Kylo turns toward her, leans down, and plants a soft kiss directly on her lips. It’s an infinitely more affectionate gesture than she had expected going into this, but a welcome one all the same. He stares fondly down at her when their lips part.
“The room is yours to use until 4 P.M., but I remember you have a noon curfew,” He tells her. Suddenly, Rey regrets telling Rose to call the national guard if she’s not physically in her presence before the clock strikes 12.
“I guess I’ll make do,” She teases.
They fall silent again, and for the second time that morning Kylo goes to say something, but falls short. The silence becomes too much for Rey to bear, so her cursed mouth opens of it on volition.
“I’m not sure how these are supposed to work… one night stands, I mean,” She admits. Something in Kylo’s face falls, but Rey can’t quite tell what.
“I don’t have much experience with these either,” he tells her. Rey shuffles onto her knees, so that they’re both eye-level, and extends her hand. Kylo looks at it with a hint of confusion mixed with amusement.
“Well, you’ve been a wonderful reddit-fuck. Thank you for posting,” she says, giving a mega-watt smile. He sakes her hand.
“And you’ve been a wonderful reddit-fuck-respondent. Thank you for critiquing my going about soliciting sex.” Rey opens her mouth in an exaggerated offense, but Kylo cuts her off with another sweet kiss.  
She melts into it, holding his hair with her hands, letting herself mold to his torso as his tongue swipes her lower lip. The kiss is wonderful and hot and sweet all at the same time and makes her head spin.
When it’s over and she’s caught her breath again, a pang of nervousness infiltrates her consciousness. It’s over, it whispers, you’ll never see him again if you don’t do anything. He’ll leave, just like everyone else, if you let him.
“Do you have any more meetings?” She practically shouts at him. Kylo looks confused for a moment, so she goes on. “I just mean… if you needed someone to help… prepare you for your meetings, there’s a chance I’d be available.” Her voice grows softer as she keeps talking, suddenly feeling like an idiot for suggesting that at all. Before she has a  chance to spiral, Kylo brings her back.
“I do… I mean, I will. That would be… very gracious of you, to offer you help.” She bites her lip to keep from smiling too hard.
“Okay, good.” She nods at him, relief washing over her as she realizes she might not be the only one who doesn’t want to let this go.
It’s a new feeling that probably shouldn’t be attached to a person whom was very clear about their desire for a no-strings hook up, but Rey has always had a preference for things that are challenging.
Kylo Ren seems as good a challenge as any.
-
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