#I have a severe case of vampire autism

[the-batcomputer-project]

Batfamily (and other) Headcanons that will be canon in my DC timeline:

-Dick is Pansexual. Show me this man in romantic relationships with more than just woman. I also feel like he has potential to be a sex positive icon which I feel is important. Sex portrayed as something that can be fun and casual, not explicitly reserved for romantic partners and situations.

(edited to rephrase and remove offensive language towards the pan community)

-Jason is Asexual. Get some ace representation but also give him some healthy romantic relationships where sex is not the center or a necessity. (I’m partial to Jason/Roy but to each their own)

-Jon Kent is dyslexic. Insert Percy Jackson reference about his brain being wired for kryptonian, but no, the dyslexia comes from Lois.

-Jason was absolutely theater kid before his death who managed to get the lead role almost every time, and somehow maintained a healthy schedule of theater rehearsals, good grades, and patrols.

-building off of the last one, Jason is Bruce’s favorite allowing him to get away with pretty much anything, but no one notices this because Jason is convinced Bruce hates him, and everyone else (understandably) believes Cass is the favorite.

-Cass took up gardening after watching Alfred tend to the rose bushes out front, and is now responsible for the very impressive garden on the Wayne Estate. She loves being to create and nurture life instead of kill, like the was born and raised to. Jason also taught her the language of flowers and she has little flowerbeds for each member of the family. Only Jason knows what they mean (also Alfred but he knows everything)

-Tim isn’t a caffeine addict, but he does have severe insomnia and ADHD. Because of that, caffeine typically has the opposite effect on him, hence why he always seems to be drinking a cup. Either for the placebo effect to stay up and finish a case, or to make him tired enough to fall asleep.

-Damian struggles to connect with people and express gratitude, appreciation, and love. He asked Cass about her garden one day and very intently sat and listened while she taught him about the language of flowers. Each family member woke up the next morning to a drawing of a bouquet of flowers pinned to the door with a knife (Jason has his framed in a safehouse he is fairly sure none of his family knows about)

-The batcave has a secret vault of “bad ideas” which was started by Dick as a child with the original Robin suit Bruce designed (it had pants) along with videos of Dick wearing said costume and falling off of gymnastics bars. (Think of the video explaining why strippers don’t wear clothes with the person falling off the pole over and over)

-Bruce is autistic. He gives off tism vibes (you’re trying to tell me that a man who dresses up as a bat and fights crime as a trauma response to watching his parents be murdered in front of him is neurotypical?) and I also want to see more a positive autism representation in main characters in media.

-Dick’s use of made up words such as “aster” and “whelmed” come from the fact that he spoke very little English when he was first adopted by Bruce, and decided that using obviously made up words made his slip ups less noticeable, or people would assume he did it on purpose. Even after he mastered English, he continued using his made up words because they just made sense (the batcomputer and jl database have a hidden file called the “DICKtionary” unlinking all his words and their meanings)

-Jason can’t drive. He died when he was 15 (you have to be 16 in Jersey to get your permit), was revived in Nanda Parbat so there was no need to drive, and was too embarrassed to mention it by the time he returned to Gotham and the Batfamily. This is his deepest, darkest, secret.

-As a child, Dick was convinced Batman was a vampire (and still isn’t entirely convinced otherwise)

-Tim collects little trinkets. Dick noticed this early on, and made sure to get a little souvenir trinket for Tim every time he went on a trip. Bruce noticed and started doing the same thing, and so did his friends after a while. Tim proudly displays his collection, because to him, each trinket is a reminder that people are thinking about him and care about him. (Most of his possessions in Drake Manor were necessities like clothes, or things he had bought for himself. Barely anything was a gift)

-Jason has OCPD, and needs things to be an exact certain way, and struggles when they aren’t. It’s one of the biggest reasons why he is often so frustrated with Bruce, who tends to do things in a different, certain way.

-Cass is actually the most neurotypical in the family, though because she has learned how to be a person through observing, she has picked up on many neurodivergent traits, specifically stimming.

-Steph’s aesthetic is retro pastel pop, mixed with maximalism. She loves bright colors and loud designs (though purple is still her favorite by far)

-Alfred keeps guns stashed all over the house in case of emergencies. Bruce hates this and has tried to remove them, but has given up as he can never seem to find them all. Alfred also brought up the good point of “I am not a vigilante like you, Master Bruce, and I am not quite as young as I used to be. If there is ever an invasion of the manor, I would quite enjoy the security of being able to protect myself.”

-There is a list of who is banned from the kitchen. Bruce is at the top of the list, Tim isn’t allowed to make anything more complex than instant food, Cass and Damian aren’t very good, but at least make an effort to learn so are therefore allowed with supervision. Dick has a partial ban. He is an absolute disaster in the kitchen, except for soups, and sarma (his mother’s recipe was one of the few things he brought with him from the circus and was obsessed with perfecting it as a kid, leading it to be one of the only things he can actually make) Steph isn’t allowed to cook, but she is a proficient baker. Duke isn’t a horrible cook, but mainly avoids the kitchen, preferring to stay out of Alfred’s way. Jason is the only batfamily member who is not banned from the kitchen under any circumstances. He has a tendency to stress cook, and likes trying new fancy recipes, because on the streets he only ate what he could find. This gives him a sense of control.

-Superman wasn’t a great dad to Connor at first, opting to send him to the farm to stay with Ma and Pa, but after a stern talking to from Bruce, came around started making an effort. Connor is an excellent big brother to Jon.

#dc comics #dc universe #batman #batfamily #headcanon #batfam #batfam headcanons #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #stephanie brown #cassandra cain

[profiterole-reads]

2022 Favourites

In no particular order. This is content I've read and watched in 2022, not necessarily content released in 2022.

Books

1. A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland: m/m heroic fantasy + non-binary characters. This was one of my most expected novels of the year and I was fully satisfied with the result. One of the protagonists suffers from severe anxiety.

2. [French] L’Héritage des Rois-Passeurs by Manon Fargetton: portal fantasy with a lesbian protagonist. The French language in the secondary world is different, but I don't know if the author invented the variations or based them on something real.

3. Sword Dance by AJ Demas: m/nb historical fantasy. This trilogy takes place in a fictional world based on Ancient Greece. It's a delightful mix of intrigue and domesticity shenanigans.

4. The Hollow Star Saga by Ashley Shuttleworth: f/f and m/m urban fantasy (YA). This series about the fae also includes a touch of Greek mythology. I care a lot about all the characters.

5. Youngblood by Sasha Laurens: f/f urban fantasy (YA). This is my favourite queer vampire novel. It's an excellent mix of vampire lore, romance and mystery.

6. The Magic Between by Stephanie Hoyt: m/m magical realism. The characters have superpowers, but it's not superhero fiction. It's a fun bi4bi romance.

7. One Verse Multi by Sander Santiago: m/m/m science fiction with a trans male protagonist. This is my favourite read of the year. I loved the science in this story and how the author played with the Mandela effect (false memories shared by many people).

8. Safe and Sound by EM Lindsey: m/m romance. This is a very moving hurt & comfort novel. This author always does a great job with the intersectionality of queerness and disability, deafness and vertigo in this case.

9. If You Still Recognise Me by Cynthia So: f/f romance. This novel is about identity (queer, but also British and Cantonese) and fandom.

10. [Spanish] Anne sin Filtros by Iria Parente and Selene Pascual: f/f/m romance with a trans male protagonist (YA). This novel is also about queerness and fandom. I've read several books by these authors and this is my fave.

 TV shows

1. Ancient Detective: murder mystery/wuxia with BL vibes + a non-binary character in the last few episodes. While this c-drama is mostly m/f, I appreciated the queer touches, as well as the complex plot.

2. Legend of Yunze: GL wuxia. This c-drama is a quick watch, with episodes that are only a few minutes long. What's nice is that the f/f is not very censored for a Chinese show.

3. The Lost Tomb/DMBJ franchise: adventure/fantasy with BL vibes. This c-drama franchise kept me busy for a good part of the year and I estimate that I've seen about half of it. It covers a genre that is relatively rare in Western shows.

4. Bulgasal: urban fantasy with a queer-coded villain. Sure, queer-coded villains aren't the best form of representation, but the one in this k-drama is very well-written. The reincarnation plot is fascinating as well.

5. Vampire Academy: urban fantasy with some f/f and some m/m (YA). I loved the movie way back and I'm glad that they've added queer representation to the show, even though it would have been even better if they had made the Lissa/Rose subtext canon.

6. Wednesday: murder mystery/urban fantasy with a probably a-spec protagonist (YA). This is a delightful adaptation of the Addams Family, true to the old movies.

7. Love in the Air: BL romance. This addictive Thai drama is my favourite show of the year. Payu/Rain are my fave couple, they're so playful and loving. For Prapai/Sky, there's a lot of hurt & comfort, which gave me so many feels.

8. Semantic Error: BL romance. This k-drama's protagonist is on the autism spectrum. It's enemies-to-lovers, or rather annoyances-to-lovers.

9. She Makes My Heart Flutter: GL romance. This k-drama is a quick watch. I love that it mostly focuses on sapphic friendships.

10. Heartstopper: m/m romance with some f/f and a trans girl (YA). I love the webcomic and the adaptation is really well done. It's such a sweet story.

#rec list #lgbt sff #lgbt books #sff books #lgbt tv shows #sff tv shows #mlm #m/m #wlw #f/f #non-binary #m/nb #trans male #trans female #aromantic #asexual #polyamory #fantasy #sci-fi #contemporary #historical #french #français #spanish #español

[firekitten830]

thinking about gio .... tell us more about him he's literally silly + i like him so much

YOUVE ACTUVATED . MY AUTISM

Makes a bulleted list

-full name Giovanni Morningstar, both of them chosen rather than given. Ooc I chose Giovanni because he is actually vaguely based on my pc from a different ttrpg, and that characters middle name is Giovanni. And Morningstar is a reference to The Devil. like from the bible dksgsjhd

-his divine blood specifically comes from Sharess, goddess of hedonism and indulgence that vanished when dnd 5e came out during the second sundering . So it is no surprise he is motivated almost entirely by hedonism

-he does not know this.

-he’s definitely not her only descendant but he’s her only descendant that inherited any of her magic

-he was not always a tiefling

-he didn’t always have access to his divine magic

-the previous two points were sparked by the same event

-he was born in waterdeep! Not baldurian but gets around enough to know some things

-wanted magic desperately but had absolutely 0 talent for it before his divine magic awakened so he learned the next best thing: stealing shit. Man has been conning and pickpocketing and just generally getting up to thievery and tomfoolery since he was like. 8 (charlatan background)

-folk hero background could fit him pretty well too! Before he got Tadpoled he sorta wandered from place to place helping common folks and robbing rich people blind. Sort of a Robin Hood type guy but he did also keep a good bit of money lol

-he’s a trans man :] no surgeries and he doesn’t want them, though he does take wizard testosterone or whatever it would be in dnd. Probably a potion or something

-queer and poly!! I imagine he has a couple lovers across the sword coast, some he’s going steady with and others he’s sort of off and on with. He’s so lucky he lives in a world where teleportation exists and is not that hard all things considered im so jealous fr (I’ve also decided that his dream guardian looks suspiciously like one of his boyfriends). Worm nerfing his magic has unfortunately made keeping in touch a bit harder but he’s been managing

-his blood is a pretty potent magical power source and several people have tried to abduct him to use him as a conduit for spells or rituals because of this. I imagine after That Scene™️ with Astarion he was like “oh shit I should’ve warned him about that. Oh well he seems fine” . In the moment he was too focused on there being a hot vampire straddling him

-his tattoos are tied to his magic and glow when he casts spells. You can tell which way he’s about to fucking get you because he’s conveniently color-coded

-may or may not be on the brink of turning into a mind flayer but I’m sure that’s like. Fine.

WAIT I just remember I made a dnd character sheet for him before I ever got bg3 and I wrote a whole background thing as well as a value/ flaw for him . I’ll put those under a read more tho this is already kinda long

this part is written ooc!!

“Sharp, charismatic, and hedonistic to a fault. He has a silver tongue and a knack for deception, able to lie his way into and out of nearly any situation. He’s been driven out of many towns for his infernal heritage, alongside the myriad cons and schemes he often pulls on the wealthy, though he’s welcomed into just as many as a minor celebrity, and in some cases, a hero. This suits him just fine, though; he’s always been one to dance from place to place anyway. He enjoys finery of all kinds, and is happy to trade fine food, drink, clothing and accessories for coin… though he much prefers to offer favors as payment. He does have many talents after all; a quick-fingered thief, an excellent negotiator, a ruthless conman, a somewhat formidable sorcerer, a gifted storyteller, and if it suits your fancy, an escort (though he does charge extra for events)… as well as some other things, of course~”

“It is fairly difficult to draw his ire;he’s more than willing to forgive and forget most wrongs against him. But it would be wise not to test his limits too much; his normally capricious manner becomes cold and relentless when he feels punishment is owed. People who hurt those he cares about often walk away with gruesome scars… if they walk away at all.”

And then I have a ummm ideals and flaw section written in character cause these are on his character sheet

Ideals: “The safety and happiness of those close to me matters far more than any laws, or the ‘greater good’”

Flaws: “I’ve been called self-serving on many occasions, and I’m always weak to a bit of liquor and a pretty face”

I am sure I will think of more things to say about him I inevitably always do but I’m a little sleepy so I’m ending this post now!!

#necro-hamster #giovanni morningstar #bg3 #bg3 tav #my ocs #combat answers #asks

[saltielena]

ok this post may be lost to time because i cant FUCKING see the text im writing but okay look at me uhhh jrwi disabiliry / mental condition hcs because im normal. actually i should use colors to make sure i can see. itll also TRAP YOU into looking at my hcs

pd. uhhh ashe has POTS. ambulatory wheelchair user i think. will has EDS and spent a lot of time in deadwood fucking destroying her own bones and it is NOT kind to her after death. needs a damn cane. dakota is HOH and as we know like autistic+. and i think. weird thought. vyncent has synesthesia. yeah. it just feels right. also he has hypermobility in his hands. and theyre ALL autistic btw. will also had ocd adhd and bpd. i am liking plurality vynce hcs more and more as time goes on too. dakota has dyslexia and dyscalcula. i cant spell it. fuck me man. uhhh is that all i had to say. OH ashe has c-ptsd and bpd too </3

riptiiiide baby. uhhm. jay has scoliosis and has an extrenal spine prosthetic. its like stegosaurus scales but theyre gold and magicy. jay is Absolutely at LEAST hard of hearing bc she uses guns all day. jays also a little colorblind. and has dyslexia too. chip obviously has phantom pain from his pinky. chip cant recognize faces that well i forgot what its called but he does have that. hes also pretty nearsighted. chip needs a cane but never uses it SOMEONE get him some tension wraps please. compression is NEEDED on this boy. gill has several balance issues that didnt present when he was undersea because of the obvious differences in gravity. gill hs tics i think.. tourettes boy… clearly autism i mean look at him. but also bpd. he definitely has varying muscle spasms hes just ignored his whole fucking life too. and yeah theyre all autistic yada yada yada

blood in the bayouu baby. blood in the bayou more like what thE FUCK kian stone has very thin blood. and autism and adhd but the weed calms her. maybe did too i havent decided. rand absolutely has ocd do not even try me and add and autism sorry theyre all audhd maybe not rolan hes too weird. rolan has ocd too and keeps every thought in his head in his own brain no matter what it is . i dont know if thats a thing but it is in this case okay. kians like half blind at this point mostly because she looked at the sun as a kid but also because her genes decided to fuck round and find out. rolan has lowkey audio processing issues fr… i dont actually have too many hcs in terms of bitb bc its so little content :(( make me sad

hokay its apotheosis time now look me in the eyes look at me look at me did/osdd rumi. umm . also bpd. peter.. w crutches.. makes me happy. no idea if i can make a warforged have phantom pain but i feel like its only fair to m babygirl thanny. love him.. peters clearly autistic.. also he has aphantasia because i SAID SO!!! (i have that)

ok i think my rant is over. umm. i cant wait for vampires to come out i cant wait i cant wait!!!!

#jrwi #prime defenders #jrwi riptide #jrwi bitb #blood in the bayou #jrwi apotheosis #william wisp #ashe winters #vyncent sol #dakota cole #jay ferin #gillion tidestrider #chip bastard #chip jrwi #jrwi chip #rolan deep #kian stone #timothy rand #jrwi rumi #peter sqloint #jrwi thanatos

[the-autisticats]

An examination of Yale’s defensive statement, released after public outcry over their study on autistic toddlers.

On December 6th, 2020, a study conducted by three researchers from Yale University’s Child Study Center was published in the Official Journal of the International Society for Autism Research. It’s called “Attend Less, Fear More: Elevated Distress to Social Threat in Toddlers With Autism Spectrum Disorder.” (https://europepmc.org/article/med/33283976) It is a peer-reviewed study, and it was approved by Yale’s Institutional Review Board.

The goal of the study was to measure autistic toddlers’ fear responses, in order to compare their emotional reactivity to that of neurotypical toddlers. The idea was that this could give some insight into how anxiety and depression develop in autistic people later in life. That’s a decent goal, but those insights could have been sought in much better ways, and without conflating autism with mood disorders (suggesting that autism itself requires treatment, as the authors of this study did).

As it was, the authors ended up conducting a study in which toddlers (42 autistic and 22 neurotypical) endured 10 trials of frightening stimuli to measure their fear responses. The methodology was based on the Lab-TAB - Locomotor Version, which is a standardized method of measuring the general temperament of young children.

In other studies (1, 2) that use some variation of Lab-TAB techniques, the stimuli used to induce fear include a mechanical toy dog, and a toy robot. In those studies, none of the fear-inducing stimuli were introduced for more than three trials, and the durations of those trials were significantly shorter (15 seconds and ~10-30 seconds respectively, compared to 60 seconds in the Yale study). In the Yale study, not only did the toddlers endure 10 trials each, but the stimuli used were much more frightening.

From Yale’s study:

“The Stranger probe involved a female stranger wearing dark clothing, a hat, and sunglasses entering the room, approaching the child, and leaning toward the child for approximately 3 s (one trial). The Objects condition included Spider (large mechanical spider crawling toward the child, three trials) and Dinosaur (mechanical dinosaur with red light-up eyes approaching the child, three trials). Masks involved a female stranger dressed in dark clothes and wearing three grotesque masks in succession (e.g. vampire, Star Wars character) entering the room briefly and maintaining an approximate 1.5-m distance from the child (three trials).”

“Each probe lasted approximately 60 s with the effective exposure to threat time of approximately 30 s. Breaks were instituted between each probe, with a minimum of 30 s and an average of 75 s (SD = 36 s) needed to ensure that the child’s affect returned to neutral before proceeding to the next probe.”

So, ten trials. Assuming that “trial” means “repetition of the probe,” each one lasted around 60 seconds. Since 60 seconds is one minute, that’s ten minutes of exposure to threat; five minutes if we’re being conservative and going with their estimation of 30 seconds of effective exposure. There was an average of 75 seconds between each trial, however. So that’s 9x75, which adds 675 more seconds to the total time of the experiment. 675 seconds is 11.25 minutes. Add that to the previously calculated ten minutes, and that brings the total time of the experiment to around twenty-one minutes.

All of this is in contrast to what the authors wrote in their defensive statement (https://medicine.yale.edu/news-article/29344/):

Let’s pick apart each aspect of this paragraph.

1. “The events used to elicit emotional responses were very brief [and] had low intensity.”

Based on my calculations, the combined amount of time that the kids were exposed to the events was 5 to 10 minutes. That’s not brief compared to other studies measuring similar things. And surely a large mechanical spider, a dinosaur with red eyes, and a vampire are much more intense stimuli than a mechanical dog?

2. “[The events] were interspersed with playtime, and mirrored what the children might encounter in the real world. For example, a Halloween costume or a new mechanical toy.”

There is absolutely NO mention of playtime anywhere in this paper. Nothing. Not a word about it. The only thing that could be potentially be seen as playtime is the 30 to 75 seconds between trials. But really? There’s not even a mention of the kids being given toys between trials. All the study says is that they waited for the toddlers’ demeanor to become neutral again.

As for the “Halloween costume” and “mechanical toy” euphemisms here: the study literally says “grotesque masks.” Grotesque. And “toy” sure is an interesting way to say “large mechanical spider crawling toward the child.” We don’t have photographs of the masks or toys used in this study, but from the way they were described in the paper itself, the words “Halloween” and “toy” put a much too positive spin on things.

3. “The entire task reported on in the paper lasted approximately two minutes with several additional minutes for breaks and transitions.”

This is the part that baffles me. Anyone can look at the paper and see where they wrote that each probe lasted for 60 seconds, and that there were 10 trials. Even if there had only been one 60-second trial of each probe, that still would have been 4 minutes (for the 4 probes), not 2 minutes.

What they might be doing here is only counting “effective exposure to threat” (30 seconds), and then multiplying that by 4 for each probe. That would be 2 minutes. But if that’s true, they’ve still failed to explicitly state how long each trial of each probe was. Because there were 10 trials, not 4. And why would a trial of the Stranger probe last 60 seconds, while a trial of the other probes would only last 20 seconds? (60 seconds divided by 3 trials). The math works out, yes. But if that’s the case, this is an issue that should have been more clearly addressed in the paper itself. Clarification on what’s meant by the terms “probe” and “trial,” in addition to information on the duration of each trial, should have been established. And, “effective exposure to threat time for each probe” (a subjective measure to begin with) is not even close to what’s implied by the phrase “the entire task.”

Here’s the last bit I want to touch on:

There is no mention of physiological responses in this study. According to what they wrote in the paper, the authors observed external behavior, not internal bodily changes. The toddlers were not hooked up to any sort of technology that would have measured their heart rate, breathing, etc.

And perhaps the mildly distressed children had an easy time calming down. But what about the trials that had to be terminated and excluded from the results due to “the child’s negative affect” or “parental noncompliance (i.e. parent interfering with probe administration)”? If they literally had to end trials because the kids were so upset, or the parents intervened to comfort their children, then how is it possible to say that “none” of the children experienced extreme negative emotions?

Yale’s statement is full of holes, and creates more questions than it answers. The autistic community is calling for full transparency on the methods used, an explanation of the reasons behind those choices, and detailed answers to our questions about the ethical legitimacy of what happened. Inquiries about the study should be directed to the authors at these two email addresses: [email protected], and [email protected].

Thank you for reading.

~Eden🐢

#actually autistic #autism #autistic #ableism #autism acceptance #autism awareness #aba therapy #yale #Yale autism study #attend more fear less

[art-of-mathematics]

i don't know your situation or understand what you're going through, but i hope you're okay xx

Hello there! Thanks for reaching out!

It has been so tough again in the last hours. Invasive actions of psychiatrists who never had to do with my complex case.

It actually was as banal as. I was given a separate room by my psychiatrist who understands me so far that she knows how to handle me and my case and my words. But she was gone for not even an entire day, and a doc - more arrogant snob - 'diagnosed me' with the most superficial nonsense. I am just causing drama to get attention. Same fiddle every time.

They spun a network of ignorant misdiagnoses hindering every opportunity to receive real help!!

They not even checked blood values or anything ever since.

These hurtful misdiagnoses are not true!!! Therapists who really work on my case always tell me the same. Superficiality and ignorance HARM!

I asked for vitamine supplies. He said "Just eat"... but I EAT, BUT HERE is so few food with the nutrition I need!!!

I just need damn nutrition.

Later they cause so much harm to me and a person who they put in my room - I was flashed, not because I did not like her or anything close to that - it was INVASIVE!

They never spoke about it, they never warned. Then they opened all curtains and I got so awful double vision and delirium by that. And the instant rush of the violation of principles that ensure an autist's mere function... i had a meltdown.

The nurse was so abusive. Said "no one can get hurt my light' you are not a vampire! You just google shit! You have all symptoms but you can't have them! You make them up to get attention and tyrranize everyone.

And none of that was ever true.

These fucking symptoms are sadly all primarily due to one fucking thing: severe nutrition deficiency. And the "CURE" is all fucking simple!!! But they refuse the PLAINEST of help!!!

This nurse is like those most neurotypical cruel fake shallow monsters. She projects her intolerant narrow view on myself. She invalidates, denies, dismisses. Refuses to understand me debunking her nonsense and trying to create clarity.

And the ignorance is so painful. I said she can't judge it. She said she's not judging, it's her opion (which is in fact an evaluation of an impression of her own interpretation - so it IS judging!)

She does understand NOTHING. Really no word I tell her lands in her brain. It's like she is so dogmatic in her wrong belief. Or does not even know one basic single word in German language.

Today I witnessed Dunning-Krüger everywhere!!! And it fucking kills!!!

It hurt to see my (shortly present) room neighbour crying, because of this shit I could not control, the meltdown, which was INDUCED by their sheer incompetence, ignorance, cruelty.

It made me so furious. Invalidating. Every time. I told that nurse that she can't judge what she does not understand. That she should educate herself on how autism impacts everyday life, perception, health, behavior, communication. Sadly all her brain cells seem to be tied to manipulation and how to be the most awful ignorant possible.

I am so sorry it all sounds so aggressive. But they HURT!!! They cause harm on so many here, not just me!!! This needs to be stopped!!! It needs to be investigated how many people they killed with such procedures.

They refuse to give me help!!

I neglected all these symptoms for far too long, exactly because of that. But they got so bad...

This nurse told me 'you can go whenever you want'. And I asked her I can't i physcially can't survive. Then she proceeded 'but you came here and it was bright'... and not even one of these statements is true. I was shoven from a terrible place by the ambulance into this torture chamber, during evening/night.

They literally refuse to SEE the meanwhile already OBVIOUS, which is the unfortunate REALITY now!

And they keep kicking and killing your last part that survives: Your psychological resilience.

And I am shaking. The insuline resistance is unbearable. But they would not even do anything if cetoacidosis would intoxicate me. Even if I vomitted due to that they would refuse the help I have the right to have: in this case: It is bound to direct survival!!!

It is a nightmare. And it sounds too lunatic that anyone could ever believe.

My psychiatrist came few hours ago, after my room neighbour and I calmed down.

I went to the dark bathroom to recharge. She later returned to our room after being absent for a short time, and she reacted in a way that made be feel embraced, compassionate, grateful, but als so so sorry and guilty.

She had a surgery of a brain tumor. And it felt so devastating she is treated so so so bad here. That they put her in such an awful situation with me and my problems being 100% dismissed.

I was a scapegoat. And the hurt I felt when recognizing her reaction was torture. It was psychological torture for both of us.

I am beyond my limit and I can't be confronted in such a way with people who are hurt so much themselves. It hurt me twice, thousandfold.

If they had told me in advance and found a solution for the light/illumination problem, it would have been far less devastating for both of us. It was so invasive. The reaction of the nurse 'it's just light and why should it be so bad that someone is here now? ' - neurotyi pical intolerance, ignorance and unfortunately this resulted in more and more verbal abuse.

Half an our later I sat in the bathroom. And she approached me and asked if she could enter the bathroom. I said yes and apologized. She was humble and somewhat had compassion. I then proceeded to built a tiny fort/cave between my bad and heater. This is where I have been since. It calms me.

She calmed down as well. But then the chaos continued. She was put in another room. I suppose it was because my (original) psychiatrist came, and knew this was fatal, as she knows of the importance of that. Despite the difficulties here in the clinic, she demands such a high priority for the single room. She is the only reason why I am not dead already here.

She fights for me as she understands. And she tries to protect me from the harm by many people working here. But when she is gone it is all devastating.

Next time I refuse to talk with these ignorant docs, and only correspond with my original psychiatrist. Most others are so awful. I do not know who to trust. They don't understand what is real and what is bullshit.

So many new nurses everyday, so many fake behaviors. So many ones who are abusive. Some who you believe are trustworthy. I can't trust. It all shatters. This place is traumatizing in every means for a neurodivergent/autistic person.

It is so sad...

There is no help. Even askeing them to transfer me to somewhere I may receive help... no way. Excuses. I say I NEED help. They say they give help. But NO!!! It is the OPPOSITE of help actually!!! I never damnit wanted to be a statistic anomaly. They simplifiy this extremely complex case to such a degree, it is the opposite of reality.

As if they do neither understand what I say nor any of my behavior.

Even when having hypoglycaemia, they refuse to help. If you ask them for juice, they refuse. They say absent-mindendly "Yeah... i knowji know... 'and leave. Only after half an hour a random nurse from another part of the clinic sees me and asks me what I need, I say sugar, have low blood glucose. And then I receive it finally. But this in concerning. Hypoglycaemia can trigger much of symptoms I have now as well. You can even get unsconscious, and if too long waited, you die. Considering their amount of concern or care, I could have been dead for more than two hours.

Things like these happen far too often.

If I do not care for myself who is unable to move, to care for himself, to live, then I die. And that is what my alter ego does. But he can't anymore. The biological spaceship is too damaged. Even the 'most skilled pilot' will not succeed.

The pain is unbearable.

And the pain of being stuck here.

I just wish someone would just dump me 300km+ far away where I receive REAL help!

I am physcially stuck in a network of abusive environments.

Even the person of the amulance told me I need to leave this city asap. She was concerned all she could do is either throw me into the torture chamber 'rathole clinic', or leave me in the abusive home with the tyrants of my abusers, my father and myjsister.

It was a decision between torture and torture.

This has been my reality ever since.

Please I would even consider living in care for a while, IF treated accordingly to what I really have and need, far away from this abuse city.

[dianadragonfly]

Okay, hang on bitches, cause Imma bout ta rewatch “The Final Problem.” I’ve seen it once since 2017. And because there is no commentary on the disc I have, I will be providing the commentary.

[[MORE]] Since I started my “rewatch and comment” spree, I’ve been pleasantly surprised. Things that had previously stood out in my mind as being particularly not-good are really not that bad. Most were actually really short moments that stood out in retrospect because they seemed incongruous with how well-written and acted everything else was.

Up till season 2, the writers could do no wrong whatsoever. The exact moment I experienced a “well that was overdone” moment of questioning the writers was when Sherlock broadcast a picture of Mary on the outside of the facade in “His Last Vow.” From there, I had moments of doubt and questioning plot and directing choices that took away from the narrative. But, except for the moment John sees Mary die, I never ever questioned the acting choices. The actors are so amazing. And I’m not just saying that because Ben and Martin are hot.

As I prepare to watch the episode, there are several scenes that I dread. Opening with the girl on the airplane reminds me of how much I hated this trick. If the girl is Eurus messing with them, then why do we see it acted out? If we cannot trust that what we see is a reality, then all of the “Mind Palace” theories of TFP (i.e. that it actually took place in a dream or in the head of a character) have some authenticity to them. Ugh.

Damn. I’d forgotten the “Hello. My name is Jim Moriarty” part of the intro. No need for that if the girl is just something in Eurus’s imagination.

Oh shit. I hate hate hate hate everything about this scene of Mycroft.

First of all, there is security in Mycroft’s house.

Second of all, he would have skewered any of those actors with the umbrella sword or shot one of them with the gun.

Why are the paintings crying blood? John and Sherlock couldn’t accomplish that... once we add scary clown it’s just too much. Even for Sherlock.

Oh stop with the heavy-handed East Wind references. Dammit, I loved this show for its subtly. Killer clowns are not subtle, even in pranks.

Now with Mycroft here, in the client position, refusing to sit, with the Baker Street Boys in their chairs - this is what I came for. The light, the look on their faces, the composition of the shot.

Oohh Hudson throwing some shade. John’s half smile...

Is the skull portrait glowing? I can’t tell.

“That’s why he stays!” Fuck yeah. John’s half smile again...

“Middle child. Explains a lot.” As a middle child, I resent that remark. And sort of get it.

So the flashing back and forth in time, with the ashes of Musgrave Hall in the apartment, 5 year old Eurus answering grown-up Mycroft’s questions, the pebble: all of that would be okay, if not a tiny bit less than subtle, had we not just fought a goddamn clown in the scene before.

Oh goddamn. The stupid fucking patience gernade and that song.

Of course Mrs. Hudson vacuums to Iron Maiden.

It’s Sherlock’s turn to half-smile. Cute.

Beautifully shot here with the above view and all three of them at different points on a circle around it.

Ugh. I have to turn away at the “action shot” of them jumping out the window. This is not “Die Hard.” It’s not a cop buddy movie. We just got a really well played, fun little scene where they talked a about Oscar Wilde to avoid talking about the fact that they might die. That’s what I watch Sherlock for.

There was a fan fic written around 2012 that mentions “The Importance of Being Ernest.” Coincidence? Creators reading fanfic? I know Wilde and ACD were contemporaries, but it’s interesting. I can’t think of any other literary works that are alluded to in canon. It’s funny it should be this one.

And now we’ve commandeered a boat. Seriously.

All of the other episodes, I had more patience with on this go-around where I get a chance to type out reactions and reflect on how they are put together. But I’m finding that isn’t the case with this one. I’m just pissed. Give me one or two unbelievable moments or plot twists in an episode and I can sustain it. But between the airplane, killer clowns at Mycroft’s, the patience gernade, and this, I’m already done and we’re 20 minutes in. Sherlock looks like a goddamn vampire bat. And seriously, why does Mycroft need to steal a boat? And write a message in the sand? What the hell? Why dress up?

Sherlock’s security guard act cracks me up.

Oh his face when he sees Eurus. His. Face. Curiosity. Heartbreak. Empathy. Pain. Doubt. Fear. THIS is my show. Not patience gernades, killer clowns, dressing up like a sea captain etc in one damn episode.

She “enslaves” people... magical Eurus who makes people kill their family. Really?!

Oh no. He ignores “Vatican cameos.” I forgot that. He chooses to ignore John’s warning.

His face.... Jesus Benedict can act.

Big bouncy red alert! Okay, what was with the spinning John face when he gets knocked out?

This constant shift between wondering what the hell is happening, wondering if the show has become a parody of itself, and then bouncing back to this heart wrenching narrative — is that the point of this episode? Like “The Empty Hearse” or “The Abominable Bride”? But those episodes explained themselves after they pulled the rug out. As soon as something got to the point of absurdity, it was explained. Sherlock didn’t swing in a window at Bart’s and kiss Molly but we briefly were led to believe he did. Moriarty and Sherlock aren’t really kissing on the roof. (By then we knew what was up though). Sherlock didn’t really attempt to dig up a dead Amelia Rocoletti. We understand it’s a drug-induced dream.

This rapid jumping back and forth with half-assed explainations — I’m coming to believe this off-balance feeling is the point of the episode but I don’t like it. I like it even less than I did before.

Oh Andrew Scott. I love you.

The bastards wait till 5 minutes into the Moriarty scene to tell us it’s 5 years ago. That constant pulling out the rug — I will at least excuse that because there is a plausible explaination given. But it’s a cheap trick. This episode is one cheap trick after another, with only a few moments, here and there, of characters actually interacting.

So it’s late and I don’t know if I have the heart to make it through this whole episode tonight. To be continued....

Edited:

Starting at scene 5 on the DVD because that's when Sherlock sees Eurus for the sort of first time. I kind of just want to bask in Ben's performance here again.

After the last episode, clean-shaven Sherlock in a suit is a relief. He's back... at least a little.

His small smile when he asks her how she got out. . .

I'm realizing how much of this scene had to be Benedict looking directly into the camera and talking to Eurus. That had to be intimidating.

***I've skipped ahead to closer than where I was last night because the small people in my house will want food soon. Parentig gets in the way of fangirling. ****

I still love the Hungry Donkey story.

OH MY GOD! I forgot how much I love Andrew Scott here!!!

Are they making out through the glass?

And now the four of them wake up in a cell but this one has glass. Ugh. The plane again. I love how Sherlock changes his voice here to talk to the girl. He isn't incapable of reading people and reacting to them. He just usually can't be bothered. There’s a fan theory that says Sherlock is autistic. I was going to comment that this skill of his is evidence that he’s not but I stopped myself. He -knows- HOW one needs to act to get people to respond to him, but it’s a learned skill. Which actually might add evidence to the “autism” theory more than the sociopath theory.

Mark Gatiss - I forget what an incredible actor he can be. Whoa.

These scenes - these scenes where they have to apply themselves to a task that Eurus sets for them -- they are so fucking good. Tense and well-acted. I can see every emotion on every actor's face. The rest of the episode should have been better to make it worthy of these performances. It physically hurt watching John try to shoot the governor.

Someone said that Jim Moriarty went from a criminal mastermid to manical Thomas the Train Engine on this episode and I can't unthink that any time he flashes on the screen.

I had a moment, when Eurus was using such clinical language of behavioralism ("prompts") etc that I flashed back onto my life as an ABA instructor. Seriously. I know they are a million miles away but no one watching this would ever think, even for a second, that Eurus was morally right. Why, then, do we do a smiliar thing to autistic children? I had a moment of revulsion then. (Restirct physical liberty and autonomy, make them complete a command that's nonsensical for either reward or aversive. Give prompts. Follow through (deny reward) if one deviates from the prompt). She might as well been saying "Touch table, Sherlock." ("Touch table" is one of the first directives often given in ABA. It's easy to manually prompt (force) a kid to do and helps the kid realize the link between following the requests and obtaining rewards.)

Sorry. ABA rant is slightly off topic.

To be continued in comments ..

#bbc sherlock #benedict cumberbatch #martin freeman #johnlock #the final problem #andrew scott

[aqueerassbookshelf]

Human Enough, by E.S. Yu

Publishing date: 7th Oct. 2019 Disclaimer: I recieved this book from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

When Noah Lau joined the Vampire Hunters Association, seeking justice for his parents’ deaths, he didn’t anticipate ending up imprisoned in the house of the vampire he was supposed to kill—and he definitely didn’t anticipate falling for that vampire’s lover. 

Six months later, Noah’s life has gotten significantly more complicated. On top of being autistic in a world that doesn’t try to understand him, he still hunts vampires for a living…while dating a vampire himself. Awkward. Yet Jordan Cross is sweet and kind, and after braving their inner demons and Jordan’s vicious partner together, Noah wouldn’t trade him for the world. 

But when one of Jordan’s vampire friends goes missing and Noah’s new boss at the VHA becomes suspicious about some of his recent cases, what starts off as a routine paperwork check soon leads Noah to a sinister conspiracy. As he investigates, he and Jordan get sucked into a deadly web of intrigue that will test the limits of their relationship—and possibly break them. After all, in a world where vampires feed on humans and humans fear vampires, can a vampire and a vampire hunter truly find a happy ending together?

Tags: LGBT, romance, paranormal, Ace, Pansexual, Autism, Crime, Alt Universe, law enforcement, vampires, friends to lovers, interracial.  Content warning: Ableism, graphic violence, allusions to past emotional abuse, abduction, hate groups.

I really liked this book. I can say that about loads of books, sure, but Human Enough managed something only a few couple have managed before - it dragged my head-first out of my reading slump, and was finished in just over 24 hours. I spoke with a friend just the other day on how so much of queer literature is just about coming out and nothing more - “Where are our fantasy novels? Where are our paranormal romances?” Well, it’s here, and it’s bloody brilliant.

Yu manages to do just the right amount of world building to pull us in as readers, whilst not going all exposure all the time. I as a reader believe in the world I’m getting - the secrets of vampires uncovered with time, the research to find a solution, the hate groups and the support groups both. There are several things we only get glimpses of, whenever Noah tags along with Jordan, but they are still only glimpses, and they make me want to learn more about the world. 

Seeing a main character be so unapologetic about his neurodiversity (whilst also, at times, giving a big mental middle finger to the norm for autistic representation in media) was truly marvellous to read. The paragraphs on overstimulation, on auditory processing, on masking, on executive dysfunction… As a person who has for quite some time now been believed to be somewhere on the neurodiverse spectrum, these paragraphs felt incredibly validating to read. And whilst this is not entirely my topic to judge, and so I might’ve missed certain things, I would 100% recommend the book for this representation alone. 

On that note, I also adore all the focus on communities - whether it’s a support group where certain vampires can talk through their thoughts and feelings, or online forums and message boards. So often in media we get presented with a minority character who the text completely isolates, because the writer - for whatever reason - can’t be bothered to give them any form of community or others to relate to, leaving both the character and the represented reader feel… not very good.  Human Enough manages a good mix, both between people of different marginalized identities helping each other out in solidarity, and characters finding support amongst their own that I recognize from my own life and friends. Helping where you can when you can, and then when you cannot, helping to find someone who can. 

I like the overall pacing of the story. The time jumps had me confused for a hot second, as the text explicitly tells us when it jumps back but not forwards, though after figuring out the (eventually) rather obvious pattern of “every other chapter”, it all went swimmingly. I might’ve felt that the plot was maybe a little predictable at times, having called certain plot twists several chapters ahead of time, but less to the point where it spoilt the story, and more like I’m “Poirot, detective genius”, solving the mystery alongside the characters. The overall storyline felt… I wouldn’t say lacking, but rather… almost too short? Despite the 6 month-divide, both plots only last a couple of weeks, making the story feel more of perhaps a slice-of-life than I was prepared for. 

I’d like to personally thank Yu for including one of my favourite tropes, friends to lovers, but also for the clearly loving way in which various marginalized identities are included and discussed within the text. The characters strike a good balance between talking about their various identities in a way that feels real, and lived, and honest, and just being downright salty over the lack of respect the majority often has for minorities. Which, oof, big mood.

A quick and easy read, yet captivating and warm. All in all, book gets a strong 4.5/5 stars - at the very least.

#human enough #e.s. yu #queer books #book reviews #read #original #ace representation #canon ace #pan representation #canon pan #neurodiverse representation #autistic representation #LGBT #romance #paranormal #Ace #Pansexual #Autism #Crime #Alt Universe #law enforcement #vampires #friends to lovers #interracial.

[coffeebooksorme]

AURORA RISING REVIEW

GOODREADS SYNOPSIS:  The year is 2380, and the graduating cadets of Aurora Academy are being assigned their first missions. Star pupil Tyler Jones is ready to recruit the squad of his dreams, but his own boneheaded heroism sees him stuck with the dregs nobody else in the Academy would touch… A cocky diplomat with a black belt in sarcasm A sociopath scientist with a fondness for shooting her bunkmates A smart-ass techwiz with the galaxy’s biggest chip on his shoulder An alien warrior with anger management issues A tomboy pilot who’s totally not into him, in case you were wondering And Ty’s squad isn’t even his biggest problem—that’d be Aurora Jie-Lin O’Malley, the girl he’s just rescued from interdimensional space. Trapped in cryo-sleep for two centuries, Auri is a girl out of time and out of her depth. But she could be the catalyst that starts a war millions of years in the making, and Tyler’s squad of losers, discipline-cases and misfits might just be the last hope for the entire galaxy. They're not the heroes we deserve. They're just the ones we could find. Nobody panic.

First off, a HUGE thank you to Random House for providing me a free eARC through Net Galley in exchange for an honest review!

Aurora Rising is one of my most anticipated releases of this year. Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff blew my mind with the Illuminae Files trilogy and I’m a HUGE fan of Jay Kristoff so it was only natural for me to be excited about their new foray together.

As you can see from the synopsis of this book it’s another sci-fi novel set in space with a huge cast of characters. It’s similar to the Illuminae Files but it’s different enough that fans of that series will walk in with some familiarity but walk out gobsmacked with what Jay & Amie have done with this new world (universe?). As always, the characters are fantastically written and instantly make you love them, the world building is gorgeous and makes you clamor for more, and the plot is wonderful!

However, I found a LOT of similarities between this and the movie Serenity, which is a continuation of the Firefly series. Rag tag team of outlaws? Check. Chick in cryo? Check. Super powered girl that the government is after? Check. Super secret world that no one knows about? Check. Add in a few more elements that are spoilers for the book and you’ve got yourself a literary version of Serenity. Am I complaining? Hell no! 

There’s a lot of nods to previous avenues of sci-fi. If you’re a fan or even a casual follower, you will notice nods to Starship Troopers, Star Trek: New Generation, and Red Dwarf. You will even notice little wink wink nudge nudge nods to The Princess Bride, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Aladdin. Not to mention the 80′s classic The Breakfast Club, which I think heavily influenced the character cast. These are the only nods that I caught, but knowing how much Jay & Amie like to toss them into their work, I can only imagine how many more there are that I didn’t catch. 

As always, Jay & Amie provided their own spin on it and really allowed the novel to soar on it’s own. What really stands out is the cast of characters. Tyler, the Alpha; Scarlett, the Face; Cat, the Ace; Finian, the Gearhead; Kal, the Tank; Zila, the Science; and finally, the namesake for the book, Aurora, our fish out of water. Each character gets their own POV (I KNOW, IT’S A LOT), though Zila only really shows up a small handful of times, and you will grow to love each and every one of them throughout this adventure. Characters are really the bread and butter for Jay & Amie’s novels, I think, because they write such good interactions, dialogue, and growth for their characters.

Personally, I loved Finian, Kal, and Magellan, a smart mouthed AI on a tablet who’s basically next gen Alexa, the most. Aurora, in my opinion, wasn’t really fleshed out as much as she could have been. To me, she seemed more like the typical YA trope of ‘super special YA heroine’ but I know that Jay & Amie have more in store for her so I’m reserving judgement for now. Zila, a black character who I think is on the Autism spectrum but wasn’t confirmed in story, didn’t really get a lot of her own POV in book, but I really did enjoy what we got from her. Magellan was fantastic and I really think it speaks volumes for Jay & Amie as authors that they can make you care so much for an AI character.

There was a hint of romance in this story but it was really a blip in the storyline. It kinda reminded me a little bit of the whole Twilight imprinting thing BUT NOT IN A BAD WAY, I PROMISE! The pairing shocked the heck out of me considering the most commonly used YA trope is that the first guy our heroine sees is usually her HEA. Not to mention, the two characters don’t even get together in this book. There’s literally no relationship execution in this book, but a promise of what could happen and I honestly really enjoyed that addition. 

The plot itself, as I said, wasn’t too original. It’s something we’ve seen before and flew so closely to Serenity that I wasn’t all that surprised with how things turned out. If you watch that movie and then read this book you’ll see a lot of comparisons between the two that will sorta kinda make you expect things to happen in the book and then not be surprised when they do happen. The pacing was really well done. There were enough lull moments that when the action hit I flew through it with a lot of anticipation and worry. The ending, as usual, ended with a loud bang and left me severely wanting more.

All in all, this book is a wonderful add on to the YA sci-fi genre and I am so glad I got to read it. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I’m definitely jonesing for some more from this squad!

#booklr #aurora rising #jay kristoff #amie kaufman #random house #net galley #book review #book reviews #read #reader #reading #bookworm #book dragon #bibliophile

[hauntedarbys]

hi! i’m anon from mamoru (asking here cus asks aren’t on on ur sims blog) i’m really interested in your thoughts about incorporating disabilities into the sims, i’m trying to develop my own sims game cus fuck ea lol, and i’d really like to be as incorporating of disability as possible. thanks!

damn, my asks weren’t on? that sucks. i think i fixed it now, but i swear i already had them on...

anyway!!!

i’m looking at this more from a perspective of “how to make the sims 4 better” than like “how to make my own video game” and i don’t know much about coding or game development so idk how helpful some of this will be but hopefully some will?? infodump incoming!!! sorry if it’s not that coherent. i’ve bolded some keywords in case you want to only read sections pertaining to certain disabilities.

starting with canes, bc i use one and i wish my simself did: sims 3 had canes, but for some reason they were coded weird so only elders could use them (iirc modders weren’t even able to fix it?? wtf ea). plus ts4 has custom walkstyles, and your sim can hold things like umbrellas while walking, so it’s almost definitely possible to add canes and crutches.

adding walkers would probably be a very similar process, tho i can imagine there might be some issues w clipping? not that ea has ever given a single fuck about that lmao

i’m a little bit less sure how wheelchairs would work, but the best reference i can think of is the strollers from ts3, or maaaybe some of the smaller vehicles. i have a vague memory of like a bike or a hoverpad or something that you could ride everywhere and not just on the road, but idk. the main issue i can see is that certain animations and interactions would need to be a lot more flexible--eg, sims would need to be able to do things like cook or paint or give hugs while sitting down. i can also see it being a little tricky to animate “transfers” from like, a wheelchair to a desk chair or w/e. honestly i think this would be easier to implement in sims 4 than it would have been in sims 3, because ts4 at least allows you to multitask some things. idk, it would probably be on the harder side, but holy shit it would be so worth it.

and then for some reason when i think about wheelchair users in the sims i start to wonder how feasible it would be to include little people (i hope that’s the right term?). simmers have been wanting height sliders since at least ts3, but any time a modder tries to add one the animations start getting kinda wonky, and i don’t think anyone’s really considered a height slider that goes low enough to make sims with dwarfism. i KNOW there are non-sim games out there that use height sliders, but idk how tf they do it without giving everyone telekinesis.

there was a mod in sims 3 that added sliders for amputated limbs, but it was a purely cosmetic thing, so like, sims would still walk like they had two legs or write with their “missing” hand or w/e. ideally i’d love to see a way to give sims limb differences that actually affected how they went about their lives + gave them the option to use prosthetics. i found a set of running blades in the “shoe” category for sims 4, but like... if you give them to a sim they’ll still magically grow legs in the shower lol.

deafness i think ties into my desire for sims to be able to speak multiple languages. not all deaf people use sign language, of course, but it would be great if sims had the option. i guess languages would function like any other skills, and if two sims don’t have any languages in common, they won’t be able to communicate beyond very basic things. maybe if you wanted a deaf sim to be able to speak, you could hire a speech therapist, or purchase some sort of object for them to practice with. also, dyou remember the earbuds in ts3 that made it so like, you’d only hear the music when you selected the sim using earbuds? i think you could probably make it so that when a deaf sim is active the game volume is either much lower or completely off. then for things like hearing aids, you could equip them and the volume would get a little bit higher.

blindness could use a similar mechanic, but instead of everything being silent, everything would be very dark and low-contrast. maybe objects that were making noise or places your sim had been before would have more detail. blind sims could also use navigation canes that would like... light up the area immediately in front of them.

invisible disabilities, allergies, and neuropsychiatric conditions would probably be a bit easier to add. sims 4 has a “quirk” system for celebrities where certain actions can trigger your famous sims to develop new traits. 

i think the best example of how you could use this to make, for example, mental illnesses is the “emotion bomb” quirk. famous sims develop it after experiencing intense anger or sadness, and it basically makes them experience that emotion much more intensely. that’s already a symptom of a mental illness called bpd! so what if something like repeatedly being mean to a child sim had a 0.1% chance of causing them to develop bpd? or if having a powerful sad or tense moodlet had a 0.1% chance of causing them to develop depression? 

(side note: i can really easily picture something similar to the “dark form” for ts4 vampires being used for dissociative identity disorder. genetics would be consistent across all personality states, but they could have different traits and voices and clothing,)

certain conditions could also be present at birth, like autism or adhd. i actually have custom traits for these; they’re not perfect, but if you want to google them they might be a good reference. one little thing that i think would be neat is if autistic sims had idle “stimming” animations, like flapping their hands or spinning in a circle. the biggest problem, though, is that autism and adhd are highly variable and i’m not sure how to make it so that not all autistic sims have the same behaviors.

allergies i guess would have to have some sort of severity scale, and be triggered by a sim eating a certain food or petting a certain animal. i’d want the likelihood of a sim developing a particular allergy to be pretty low, but that’s just me lol. maybe sims with allergies could keep meds on hand to deal with the worst of their attacks?

actually, the allergies thing reminds me--diabetic sims! depending on which type, a sim could either be born with it or contract it later in life. i’m not totally familiar with how insulin works, but a sim could have a pump equipped to mitigate their symptoms, or take regular injections.

i have a custom trait in my game for chronically ill sims, which basically makes their energy deplete faster and sometimes gives them moodlets with little blurbs about their illness. this seems like a pretty good system for chronic illnesses, but obv it would vary a lot by which illness your sim has--eg, would you actually animate a sim with ehlers-dahnlos popping a joint out of their socket, or would you just give them an uncomfortable moodlet? in particular, though, i think the mechanic that makes elder sims unable to do most exercise would be great for sims with dysautonomia. 

also, i’ve mentioned some assistive devices already, but i think figuring out how treatment works would be a big deal. do sims have single-payer healthcare, or do they have to pay for everything themselves? can sims crowdfund their medicine? what kind of treatments/cures are available? are their side effects? some conditions don’t have cures irl, but maybe a sim can pay like $30k to a witch to make their fibromyalgia go away!

this is almost definitely more info than you wanted and i’m kinda embarrassed i wrote this much, but uh... here you go, a mostly stream-of-consciousness essay on disabilities in the sims! god i hope it’s readable

[the-apples-were-monitored]

On iZombie and How Putting on Different Lenses Gives You Different Readings

I didn't think about the central metaphor in iZombie much when I originally watched the show during season 1, but now that I finally finished the show I have some thoughts.

A lot of the shallow literary criticism I see on this site sort of boils down to either "you're stupid for not reading into it that this plotline is problematic even if the author didn't intend it" or "you're stupid for reading that much into it BECAUSE the author didn't intend it". So today we're going to take the position that multiple unintentional readings of the same text can and do exist and coexist without anyone being stupid (unless you're blind to queer subtext, in which case you should consult with a doctor). So let's put on some lenses in the order in which I received them and look at this piece of work.

Lens 1: The Trauma Narrative

I first watched this show when I was still living with my grandparents after my stepdad had been jailed for being a pedophile and child abuser. I was still processing what had happened to me, but I wasn't processing it well because I didn't have therapy at the time and was still living in an emotionally abusive and invalidating environment. Within 5 minutes of starting this show, I was convinced that Liv was a metaphor for trauma. And I'm not the only person who noticed that. I remember seeing a critique at the time about how if you take away the Zombieism, the Boat Party Incident could be paralleled with the trauma of acquaintance rape since it occurred at a party and was perpetrated by a drug dealer who had been offering her drugs earlier in the night.

The boat party was clearly a traumatic incident for Liv. I saw my own experiences reflected in her. She had a whole life path laid out for her, but it was derailed by an experience that made her fundamentally unable to relate to and socialize normally with other people. She broke up with her fiance and became socially withdrawn, refusing to talk about what had happened to her out of fear of the social stigma attached. She even underwent a drastic fashion overhaul and completely changed her career path. It sounded familiar. You could even equate brains in this equation to Liv seeking out an addiction in order to make herself able to function within society that isn't giving her the tools she needs to process.

Lens 2: The Racial and Straight Passing Metaphor

I hadn't really thought of this AT ALL until I started rewatching. Oh give me a break - I was a barely 20-year-old white girl who hadn't even thought about the possibility of a sexuality when I first watched it. But upon doing a rewatch and seeing some behind the scenes stuff, it's pretty clear that the writers were going for a passing metaphor.

But I'm not entirely sure that it holds up under close scrutiny.

On the surface, sure. It's a narrative about discrimination where someone must "pass" as human in order to survive. Understandable. But it sort of breaks down when you recall that it's a show about zombies who eat people. When they "rage out", I can only think of "super predators". The implication being that there are good minorities and bad minorities - the good ones being those who are willing to pass for your comfort and the bad ones being the ones who can't or won't. Especially when equating zombie struggles to LGBT issues, I see a sexually transmittable zombie virus as akin to the AIDS virus in a JK Rowling sort of "intentionally infecting people" sort of way.

Lens 3: I'm Autistic and You Didn't Ask

Something occurred to me right around the time that the zombie virus was introduced to the flu vaccine supply: This is gonna create a whole new generation of in-universe anti-vaxxers.

My immediate reaction was 'oh fuck, how will anyone in Seattle ever trust a vaccine again'? Zombie cure, what? I bet that's more zombies intentionally infecting people! The zombie truthers will have a field day!

It was a baffling choice to me from the beginning to have a group of militant zombies intentionally infecting people to protect their way of life. I simply could not wrap my head around why you would want to still have this virus and why you'd want your kids to have it. You have to eat brains to survive and you're constantly at risk of horrible symptoms if you don't get them. The entire zombie population is easily controlled by the withholding of brains by what again seems like a pretty blatant addiction metaphor. This is horrifying. Why would you want that? Then to go and intentionally infect others with this virus...I just don't get it. You should want a cure. You really should.

Of course I thought about it further and knew they were still going for their passing metaphor. Of course I didn't believe zombies deserved to be murdered in the streets. I thought all available resources should be going to making a vaccine and a cure. I didn't think this was equivalent to the struggle for equal rights we've seen in real events because of the aforementioned "raging out".

But then I thought about it again. If there's any group that the struggle more closely parallels, it's the disabled community - particularly those of us with autism. Liv is trying to pass in a world that isn't set up to accommodate her particular needs but she's able to pass as a "high functioning" zombie. Her brain of the week could be compared to a hyperfixation. "Low functioning" zombies would be the Romeros, who physically cannot "pass for human".

This is a theme that comes up in most everything I write, in some form or other. The autism passing for human metaphor. Because I've never felt like I actually do. Some days I can be Liv-ing it up, but other days I'm halfway Romero. But when I tackle the issues of not passing for NT by creating an alien or a nephilim, I'm doing it with the knowledge that passing isn't the end goal. And I guess, for that reason, I respect the choice at the end to not cure Liv.

But even this reading sort of falls apart when you think of how "high functioning" zombies like Liv would get to throw Romeros under the bus because they're too far gone to be useful to society so they're expendable. That's actually not even the main reason it would fall apart. The main reason is that they intentionally infected people with a zombie virus using a vaccine. I mean every anti-vaxxers argument is that vaccines cause this, right?

And you really don't want to equate disability to a virus. Viruses are deadly things that should be eradicated. Autism is not.

God, this reading is so particularly complicated for me. Because the closest disability parallel you can make is some strange mixture of autism and AIDS. And as an AIDS parallel, it can almost make some commentary. There's the fear and social isolation thrown at people with a confirmed diagnosis. The incredible stigma and misinformation. Also how resources are withheld from people who cannot afford to pay for them. But you really don't want this as an AIDS metaphor because, again, there were people intentionally infecting people.

Which brings me back to why would you want to be a zombie? The side effects are too severe. Even if you're dying of a terminal illness, how is that not swapping it out for something worse? And what happens to people infected as children? Do they stay children forever? Did we learn nothing from Interview with the Vampire?

And even typing that last paragraph was complicated to me, because it harkens back to arguments people have about curing autism. That it's supposedly a life-destroying disease and that being alive with autism is worse than being dead. Hell, even throw in the perpetual child thing.

I'm reading this show with all these mixed feelings. They all exist within my brain, so it's very confusing up here. I get multiple readings and I'm just one person! It's very difficult to write a supernatural metaphor for an actual social issue, because it's very VERY easy for it to have unintentionally shady readings that don't really work upon closer scrutiny. And you know why that is? Because people who consume media come from all different backgrounds and different life experiences. I still don't exactly know how I feel about the central metaphor of iZombie. All I really know is that it's weird that they didn't address the in-universe anti-vaxxers.

#rape tw

[fuckchrisandtina]

(Article Posted 2003)

"I tossed my Heads after having lunch with Tina Weymouth. At the time, I was writing a history of her old band, and her poisonous memories of the band's divorce finally made it impossible for me to listen to Talking Heads anymore. I mean, we all know about Paul McCartney and John Lennon's post-Beatles squabbles. John sang to Paul, "How do you sleep at night?" and 30 years later Paul reversed the Lennon-McCartney credits on songs that he wrote by himself. But neither one tried to reform the Beatles without the other, as Weymouth did in 1994 when she wanted to restart Talking Heads without Byrne. Neither John nor Paul ever accused the other of being autistic. In the late 1990s, Weymouth even reportedly called several old friends in the middle of the night to tell them that Byrne had a "baby penis."

While we were at lunch, Weymouth announced that she had heard David Byrne was a murderer. And she wasn't talking about his song that goes "Psycho killer, q'est-ce que c'est?" No. She heard at a party that Byrne had killed a boy in Brazil using voodoo. She wanted us to play Hardy Boys and solve the case. "David is a vampire, in a way," she told me. "Watch out for the autism. It might be something much more complex. Psychics have seen him and they say he just has a firewall around him.""

...

"I'd get these bizarre letters from Tina," [Byrne] said, gritting his teeth. "They'd say what a fucking dumb jerk and asshole piece of shit I was. It would go into detail how badly I'd behaved. What a terrible person I was. How hard I was to work with. How unfair I was. It was this thing meant to make me feel real terrible and how much 'I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.' And then in the end she'd go, 'Why don't you want to work with us? Why in the world don't you want to work with us? What's the matter?'" Byrne paused and sighed. "You've answered the question. Look at the beginning of your letter, look at the end. You've answered it. There is some kind of weird denial going on.""

#chris frantz #tina weymouth #david byrne #talking heads

[sciencespies]

Why Jessica Biel is Lobbying Against This Vaccination Bill

https://sciencespies.com/news/why-jessica-biel-is-lobbying-against-this-vaccination-bill/

Why Jessica Biel is Lobbying Against This Vaccination Bill

Jessica Biel attends the 70th Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 17, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

Getty

What do Jessica Biel and Robert Kennedy, Jr. have in common? Well, first of all, neither of them has played Wonder Woman in a movie. Biel reportedly turned down the role in 2007, and no one seems to have offered the part to Kennedy. Secondly, both of them appeared together this past week in Sacramento, California, apparently lobbying against California Senate Bill 276, a bill aimed to address declining childhood vaccination rates in California by making the process of getting medical exemptions more stringent. 

Biel is best known for starring in movies such as The Rules of Attraction (2002), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), Blade: Trinity (2004), Stealth (2005), The Illusionist (2006), The A-Team (2010), and Total Recall (2012). Kennedy shared pictures of their day via his Instagram account, such as the following:

From Instagram

Instagram

As you can see, he called Biel ”courageous.” Courageous for what exactly? He continued by saying “for a busy and productive day at the California State House.” Is the California State House really that dangerous? Are there deadly spiders, pits of molten lava, vampires, or chainsaws there? Was Biel risking getting some potentially deadly diseases, such as measles? 

Not according to Biel’s Instagram post, which said:

This week I went to Sacramento to talk to legislators in California about a proposed bill. I am not against vaccinations — I support children getting vaccinations and I also support families having the right to make educated medical decisions for their children alongside their physicians. My concern with #SB276 is solely regarding medical exemptions. My dearest friends have a child with a medical condition that warrants an exemption from vaccinations, and should this bill pass, it would greatly affect their family’s ability to care for their child in this state. That’s why I spoke to legislators and argued against this bill. Not because I don’t believe in vaccinations, but because I believe in giving doctors and the families they treat the ability to decide what’s best for their patients and the ability to provide that treatment. I encourage everyone to read more on this issue and to learn about the intricacies of #SB276. Thank you to everyone who met with me this week to engage in this important discussion!

What is SB 276? Currently, in California, like many places around the country and world, children are required to get a set of vaccinations before entering school. These vaccinations are supposed to protect children from getting diseases such as the measles, mumps, pertussis, tetanus, and hepatitis B. This year has shown what can happen when measles vaccination rates drop below 95% in a community. We’re not even halfway through 2019, and as of June 6, there have been already at least 1,022 individual cases of the measles in 28 states, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). That’s the greatest number of reported cases reported in the U.S. since all of 1992. This is measles, a disease that was declared eliminated in the U.S. in 2000.

The problem is, since 2000, an increasing number of parents around the U.S. have been trying to opt their kids out of vaccinations. As Laura Eggertson explained in CMAJ, in 1998 Andrew Wakefield published a since-retracted and since-discredited study in The Lancet suggesting that the measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine was linked to autism. Despite no real scientific evidence supporting such claims, Wakefield has continued to assert this link and some celebrities like Jenny McCarthy have greatly amplified Wakefield’s claims about vaccines and autism.

In order to prevent the return or surge of vaccine-preventable diseases, legislators such as State Senator Dr. Richard Pan, who is also a pediatrician, have been attempting to close the loopholes that have allowed parents to keep their kids from getting vaccinated. In 2015, California Senate Bill (SB) 277, co-authored by Pan and fellow State Seantor Ben Allen, passed the California State Senate and was signed into law by Governor Jerry Brown. This law eliminated vaccine exemptions for personal beliefs, meaning that parents could no longer just say that they didn’t want their kids to get vaccinated because they didn’t want to do so.

Since the passage of SB 277, a main way parents in California have been able to keep their kids from getting vaccinated has been medical exemptions. A medical exemption is when a doctor determines that a kid has real medical reasons not to get vaccinated. Real medical reasons include severe allergic reactions to vaccines or a significantly weakened immune system from taking required medications or having a real medical condition. These are scientifically legitimate reasons not to get vaccinated but tend to be relatively uncommon. It is also relatively straightforward to medically prove that you have such conditions.

State Sen. Richard Pan, D-Sacramento, left, calls on lawmakers to approve his measure to toughen the rules for vaccination exemptions Wednesday, May 22, 2019, in Sacramento, Calif. The Senate approved the bill, SB276, that gives state public health officials instead of local doctors the power to decide which children can skip their shots before attending school. (AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)

However, as Pan explained on his State Senate page, “Medical exemptions have more than tripled since the passage of SB 277. Some schools are reporting that more than 20 percent of their students have a medical exemption. It is clear that a small number of physicians are monetizing their exemption-granting authority and profiting from the sale of medical exemptions.” People profiting off selling something not backed by science? Shocking. Is that really a thing?

That’s why Pan, along with State Assemblywoman Lorena Gonzalez, introduced SB 276 on March 15 to make the process of getting a medical exemption more stringent. The California Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, California and Vaccinate California co-sponsored the bill. If SB 276 were to pass, physicians could no longer just write patients medical exemptions for vaccination. Instead they would have to fill out a form including their name, license number, reason for requesting the exemption, and certification that they have examined the patient, and submit the form to the California Department of Public Health (CDPH). The CDPH then would determine whether the medical exemption is granted. The bill would also have the CDPH create and maintain a database of medical exemptions to check whether any physicians were cranking out such exemptions like a printing press. Moreover, it would grant the CDPH and County Health Officers the authority to revoke medical exemptions if they found something fraudulent or inconsistent with medical guidelines.

The return of measles to the U.S. has been a real and costly problem, as I have written before for Forbes. Although no reported deaths have occurred yet this year, measles can cause serious problems such as brain inflammation and kill. This year’s measles outbreaks also may be a harbinger for worse things to come, should vaccination rates slip even further. Something needs to be done about the threat of vaccine preventable diseases returning and surging.

Yet, as Melody Gutierrez And Soumya Karlamangla reported for the Los Angeles Times, opponents of SB 276 have called Pan a “tyrant,” and the bill a “crime against humanity.” Yes, someone called a pediatrician trying to find ways to protect the population against measles and other vaccine-preventable disease a “tyrant.” And, yes, someone didn’t say that he plays Cards Against Humanity but instead claimed that Pan is committing “crimes against humanity. ” As the United Nations describes, “crimes against humanity” usually refers to true atrocities such as genocide, mass murdering, and atrocities committed during European colonialism. To equate a pediatrician trying to solve a real problem to a genocidal dictator is simply outrageous. This type of language and claiming that someone is “courageous” simply for spending a day lobbying against a vaccination bill is unnecessarily inflammatory and may create an impression of oppression that simply doesn’t exist.

Kennedy’s own family members, Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, Joseph P. Kennedy II, and Maeve Kennedy McKean, have condemned his continuing anti-vaccination actions in an article they co-authored in Politico, writing that, “Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—Joe and Kathleen’s brother and Maeve’s uncle—is part of this campaign to attack the institutions committed to reducing the tragedy of preventable infectious diseases. He has helped to spread dangerous misinformation over social media and is complicit in sowing distrust of the science behind vaccines.”

Regardless, State Senator Brian Jones still seemed quite welcoming to Kennedy in this tweet:

Welcome to #caleg, @RobertKennedyJr and @JessicaBiel! Thank you for taking the time to chat about your opposition to #SB276. #caleg #NoOnSB276 pic.twitter.com/AkkWRbPSJk

— Brian W. Jones (@SenBrianJones) June 12, 2019

It is one thing to inquire about the risks of vaccines and whether such a bill will further threaten the autonomy of physicians or create more administrative overhead. Routine vaccination certainly has its risks, just like anything in life, including throw pillows, or watching I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Nonetheless, the risks of vaccination are quite low and certainly much lower than the risks of not getting vaccinated or, for that matter, putting jade eggs in your vagina. And yes, SB 276 would take some decision making authority away from individual physicians. But insurance companies and hospital administrators have been progressively taking authority away from individual physicians in much, much greater and more alarming chunks for the past couple decades and adding much more administrative overhead. If you are truly worried about physician autonomy and independence, why not address these?

It is something completely different to use inflammatory words and suggest conspiracies that don’t exist. Vaccination is important because there is currently no alternative to preventing and controlling disease such as the measles, pertussis, mumps, rubella, and tetanus. The viruses and other microbes causing vaccine-preventable disease would love it if more people stopped getting vaccinated. Telling people to not vaccinate without offering any viable scientifically-backed alternative is not engaging in scientific discussion and frankly not being responsible.

Time may show what Biel’s true motivations and stances are. (I am reaching out to Biel’s representatives to get further clarification.)  Does she have real questions, and is she simply getting caught in anti-vaccination rhetoric from others? Or is she actually spreading misinformation about vaccination herself? Ultimately, the question is how similar or different is Biel really from Kennedy.

#News