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purplecatghostposts · 4 years

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List of things I’ve Seen in the HLVRAI Fandom that I Love

In Art:

- All of your headcannons are so valid I don’t think I’ve seen one that isn’t

- Monster Benrey gives me LIFE. Multiple eyes? Lots of arms? Biggggg? Eldritch being?? SHARP TEETH? Weird shade over the eyes that no one can explain but I LOVE? God it’s all so good, every single one

- To Anyone who gives a Bubby Sharp Teeth: You give me +10 years to my lifespan. You are so so so valid

- FRAT BOY TOMMY.... ITS SO PURE N FUNNY

- If you’ve ever drawn Coomer either short n round and/or with his arm sleeves torn out to reveal pure muscle: I Owe You My Life

- GOD THE FASHION... ITS ALL SO GOOD... I think I’ve seen Coomer wear a Hawaiian shirt a few times and everytime I see it, I die inside, it’s so utterly perfect

- Gordon in general honestly but especially the HAIR. The lil long haired ponytail thing he’s got going on in several drawings I’ve seen is just... sooooo good...

- I’ve seen some Virus Benrey since the stream and y’ALL!!! ITS SO GOOD!!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!

- Benrey’s hair. Need I say more? There’s never a bad take.

- Allllllll the stuff from the ACAB Payday Stream?? ITS SO GOOD!! Flamethrower Benrey has a special place in my heart and the random sonic doodles I see in some of them just make my day

- Whether you put in a JPEG of Sunkist or draw her out with Tommy, it’s so good either way. Sunkist drawings are so pure and seeing just a JPEG of Sunkist edited in will never not be funny.

- It’s a small detail but everytime Forzen is drawn with like a French flag patch on his outfit somewhere? That’s some good shit.

In Fanfiction:

- Holy shit there’s so much I’m ECSTATIC!! Everyone is so ACTIVE too like I almost always see at least a few comments on every fic I read and that!! Is so!! Important!! Tell the authors you love their stuff!! I’m gonna go do that after I finish this post

- (also to anyone who’s commented on one of my fics: You Give Me Life, thank you so much)

- Any Fic where it’s Post-Game AU and Benrey just kinda. Shows up in Gordon’s house. You. Yes you. I love you. You’re so valid.

- The Science Team coming to the real world trope never gets old. Gordon’s reaction is always GOLD and usually the embodiment of that one John Mulany Quote, “You ever think you yourself, ‘Life is already so goddamn weird, this might as well happen?’” And I greatly appreciate that

- mmmm...soft ships... goooooood...

- Benrey does weird unexplainable stuff fics and/or Eldritch/Alien/Inhuman Benrey Fics? yO!! It’s so COOL!!

- Adding in new translations for the Sweet Voice (Especially for Showing Feelings For Plot Reasons) is always fanTASTIC

In Animation:

- I’m constantly binging whatever animations I can find but ohhhhhh bOY ITS ALL SO GOOD

- Expressions... How people draw the characters... How scenes are depicted... ALL OF IT

- This one is for anyone who’s made animations to a song. (AMV? Is that the right word?) You? You make me cry but in a good way. I’m sobbing they’re so beautiful.

- Meme animations, thank you for feeding me. We have 3/4 of the main meme animations (Who Broke This, You Have Uno, Starbucks Discord Call). If anyone makes ‘The One Thing You Can’t Replace’, I will implode immediately. It’ll be fantastic. I love y’all so much.

In General:

- This Community is so good?? Everyone cares about each other?? Respects each other?? Everyone just vibes on a similar wavelength?? Also I’m pretty sure most of the fandom is either in the LGBTQ+ Community or very supportive and it’s so GREAT

- That being said, if you HC any of the characters a certain way because you’re projecting onto them, You. Are. So. Fucking. Valid. I care you.

- All of the AUs I’ve seen are so COOL!! Mothman Benrey?? Mermaids?? Absolutely any of the AUs in the HLVRAI Hellhole Server?? Band AU?? Benrey n Barney are brothers?? Y’all,,, I can barely express how much I love all of them.

- I haven’t seen a single bad ship- it’s all so SOFT!! Boomer and Frenrey hold a special place in my heart but everything else has been so good!! Frenmy? Tommy and Darnold? Darnold and Forzen? Tommy, Darnold, and Forzen? Benrey and Forzen? It’s all done so FLUFFY and WARM and GOOD.

- The Cast really said, “Yeah more fluffy stuff less sexual stuff” and the fandom listened and I’m so glad it’s all so wholesome

That’s all I got off the top of my head but if you got more, feel free to add, and if I remember more I’m gonna add more! But bottom line is, all of you content creators for the HLVRAI Fandom? You’re absolutely amazing and I appreciate everything you do.

#hlvrai #half life but the ai is self aware #appreciation post #I had so many thoughts that I just had to share em #all of you are amazing and are loved #everyone is so valid #I needed to say something #Love all of you #Go out and be amazing #because you all take my breath away

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anothertimdrakestan · 4 years

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Light Of My Life Pt.2 Jason Todd x Reader

Words: 2.5k

Requested? Yes! From a lovely returning anon!

“I’m the anon who requested the avenger reader and ......... *chefs kiss* *chefs kiss* *chefs kiss* It’s so good! i love the readers powers and how they get sparky when they’re happy! I always thought that captain America and tony stark and Natasha and everyone else would be protective of the reader so I wonder what would happen if she introduced Jason to the avengers? Do you think they’d find out that he was red hood? (And they’d keep it a secret but maybe then they’d be REALLY protective)”

LINK TO PROMPTS -> REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN!

HI AGAIN IM SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK LOVE!!! We been knew I love me a good protective family and Jason sooooo my beautiful anon you did it again! Chef’s kisses right back at you angel <333 Because you liked the happy sparks let me show you what happens when all the emotions come out to play.... mwahahahaha CHECK OUT PT 1 HERE!

“Fuck no.”

You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend as he pouted. “Hey I met your family you have to meet mine!” you chided, Jason had been reluctant to meet the other Avengers. The last time he’d ever met one besides you was as Robin pre-death when Stark came to visit Bruce Wayne and Iron Man visited Batman. The two never really got along and since Jason idolized Bruce he hadn’t been the kindest to Stark.

You’d only recently learned this when you told the other Avengers why you always wanted to be in Gotham. Cap was happy you’d found a friend, he understood the necessity of having a person you can talk to and rely on, and he missed his person so he wished you the best. To say Stark was pissed was an understatement. Not only was he secretly rooting for you and Spidey to get together but he always got a bad taste in his mouth thinking about the Wayne family. “No” was his only reply and you had to give him the “even though you’re my father figure and my boss you don’t control my personal life” speech which ended in a hug and some cursing under his breath. To your surprise Peter was equally upset and said next time you went to Gotham he needed to meet this elusive, powerless, gun wielding, Jason.

And just like that here you were in Gotham, wrapping in your boyfriend’s arms, trying to convince him to come meet the “A-list” as he called them. “You’re going Jay. Maybe you can bring Tim he loves the Avengers he’d die to meet them!” you cooed, knowing Jason would agree because he never wanted to tell you no. Jason knew how excited you were, he could feel the light shocks that danced on your skin as he held you. Begrudgingly he agreed. You had decided it would be better to meet as your human personas rather than stir up the media with an Avengers visit to Gotham.

“Hey gorgeous” Jason grinned as you gave him a spin in one of your favorite outfits, beyond excited to introduce him to the people who were your family you rushed over to him. As you toyed with his t-shirt collar you admired his appearance, Jason was fashionable in the lowkey, vibey kind of fashion, it was perfect, and undeniably attractive. You could tell he was trying to hide his nerves, he gripped your hand tighter than normal and fidgeted slightly, he knew these people were your home and you could tell he wanted to make a good impression even if he wouldn’t admit it.

You’d invited them to your now shared apartment with Jason. The two of you had spent a while cleaning and prepping for guests and the apartment was spotless. Getting the text from Stark that him, Peter, and Natasha were headed up and you saw the three of them cloaked in jackets and hats entering the main lobby. Giving Jason’s hand a squeeze you gave him a quick peck on the cheek and a reassuring looking. Jason leaning into your embrace whispered “it’ll go fine” and you couldn’t tell if he was saying it to himself or you. Almost on cue there was a loud knock and before you could get to the door Tony burst in with Natasha and Peter following. “WHERE IS HE!” Tony yelled and you rushed over grinning. “Shut up Stark behave yourself!” he brought you into a quick hug before looking at Jason. “Hello Todd” he said, Jason looked a little shocked that Tony had either remembered from those years ago or had done his research. Jason stuck out a hand feigning confidence and Tony took it strongly.

Inviting everyone in you all sat cooly around the living room. As you talked with Natasha about recent events and living in Gotham you noticed that Jason looked afraid to touch you, sitting rigid next to you. Glancing over you saw him getting death stares from Peter and Tony anytime he moved a muscle. “The two of you stop it!” you chided, grabbing Jason’s hand and realizing it was slightly shaking. “I expect it from Mr. Father Figure but really Parker?” you quipped as he shrugged in agreement.

You could feel your aura radiate with annoyance and Peter and Tony looked taken aback. “Hey Sparky- Y/N it’s fine” Jason looked embarrassed at his use of one of his many nicknames. “Dude you use electric puns too!” Peter looked excited as he told Jason about some of his favorites. As the two bonded you groaned when Peter said “DUDE LIGHTNING MCQUEEN IS SUCH A GOOD ONE!” and went in for a high five over your embarrassment. Tony broke the bro-moment, “So Jason Todd, second Robin, heard you died. Haven’t seen you in a bit do you prefer Todd or Hood?” Jason gulped, straightening up as he squeezed your hand. “Um, Todd is fine, yeah I did and it was really hard but I have Y/N and she’s really been amazing and also yes I was Robin when I saw you a long time ago and you totally already know that but yeah” he took in a deep breath as Tony processed his answers. Turning to you he asked “and he’s nice to you? Good friend? Good lover? No ring yet right? I learned the hard way waiting too long isn’t great but you better not rush this kid” you rolled your eyes hearing the same line of questioning as always. “Tony shut the hell up” Natasha interrupted. “Look, Jason’s whole body is angled to Y/N, he’s holding her hand through the sparks and probably shocks, he hasn’t gotten angry at your dumb overprotective dad moments, and everytime one of them looks at the other they calm down a little more. They’re in love Tony leave them be.” Tony starred in silence before standing up, drawing in a breath you could feel Jason tense. “Alright then I approve. Let’s get this party started! You guys got booze?”

A couple drinks in an everyone was best friends with everyone. You and Peter weren’t of age yet so you both skipped but Tony was definitely nicer a couple drinks in, and Jason was a lot less tense even though he wasn’t drinking, determined to stay sober to answer any questions he was asked. Peter still looked like he didn’t trust Jason but you couldn’t help but grin as you watched the only father figure you’d ever had bond with your boyfriend. You finally felt like you had a family, it was perfect.

Perfect until Peter Parker got attacked.

As you frantically zapped through light posts you heard Jason on his bike behind you. Tony and Natasha didn’t want to alert the press with two of the most prominent Avengers being seen in Gotham and after a couple drinks they decided to let you and Jason take the lead. So as Red Hood and Y/H/N took to the Gotham streets after Clayface who had engulfed a terrified Peter Parker, Black Widow and Iron Man watched from above.

You zapped in front of Clayface, your skin practically sizzling. “you!” ZAP “are!” ZAP “interrupting!” ZAP “my!” ZAP “DAY!!!” you screeched, letting out all the anger and stress pent up from the day. Unfortunately, your electricity didn’t have much effect on a giant piece of dirt, so you went for keeping it’s attention while Jason fiddled with some explosives.

You zapped around the scene, being careful not to let Clayface get a hand on you for fear of him trying to engulf you too. You could barely hear Jason, cursing yourself for leaving you comm somewhere in the apartment but you could make out “Y/H/N it’s ready but Peter’s in there!” from Jason. “Shit alright I’m going in I guess!” you called, unsure if your powers would even work inside of Clayface. With a deep breath you ran straight ahead, preparing for whatever came next when a figure shoved you out of the way. Instinctively you shot into a lamp post for safety when you saw Red Hood press the button for the explosives and dive into Clayface. Once you realized he just sacrificed his life for yours appeared on the pavement screaming for Jason. Lightning cracked above you as you cried out amid the explosion. At the peak of the explosion everything you felt was too much, needing to know if Jason was okay and it Peter was still alive you felt stuck to the ground. Letting out a guttural scream you gave up trying to hold everything in. The lightning dissipated as you felt your energy connect to every current in Gotham. As the smoke cleared you saw a pile of Clay and no Red Hood and your heart snapped in half. Sinking to your knees you felt the power of every light in Gotham and it was too much. As your tears poured you needed the pain to stop, it had to stop, you’d lost everything.

And then it did. No more sparks, no more current, no more emotion, no more pain.

Your eyes fell out of focus as you stared ahead. You didn’t see two figures emerged from behind the corner of a building. Your eyes were blurry and you felt numb, unable to recognize the voice of Jason as he called out for you. Everything was quiet and muted, no buzzing from the streetlights or vibrations from cell towers, you felt disconnected, lost. Slowly blinking, thoughts of your past boyfriend jolted through you so quickly you couldn’t comprehend the fact that he was right in front of you. His voice sounded like a faint whisper calling for you. A different reality almost. You felt yourself get lifted into the air, off the ground and into someone’s embrace.

This embrace carried you home. Home. That was your apartment. With Jason. But he was gone and someone had brought you home, setting you softly on the couch.

“What the fuck happened to Y/N” Jason pleaded Tony who looked just as confused. “I think she’s in shock, maybe she didn’t have her comm in and didn’t hear the plan for rescuing Peter then dealing with Clayface?” Tony whispered as he looked at you as you stared at a wall, tears slowly cascading down your cheeks. Natasha squatted next to you, waving a hand in front of your face. “She’s in shock but we need to shock her out of it, anyone got a spark?” Tony quickly reprogrammed part of his suit to deliver a fair amount of voltage into your body. Taking a deep breath Jason just wanted to hold your hand but he knew that was not going to be safe until you woke up. As everyone stood back Tony counted down “One, Two - ”

Suddenly you felt the connection again, it jolted through you and danced on your skin, you felt the humming of the fan in your apartment. Your apartment, you were home. Home. Home is with Jason, and you could feel him next to you. Jason, was, home. Safe.

“JASON YOU IDIOT WHAT WERE YOU THINKING YOU FUCKING DIED AGAIN!” you bolted up and began wailing on his chest, shocking everyone around you at your burst of, well, energy. Without thinking Jason just pulled you into his chest, swaying slightly back and forth you melted into his grip. “Y/N baby Stark thought your comm was on like mine and we thought you knew the plan, you were making a good diversion and everything” Jason explained. “Then Parker and I come out after the big boom and you’re like completely zoned out. Like even the sky was clear, and your eyes didn’t have the little sparkle they always have, we thought you’d lost it or something” he rambled as you finally put the pieces together. Glancing up at him you whispered “so you’re okay?” and he nodded, giving you a reassuring smile. “You can’t get rid of me that easily Sparky” you found comfort in the nickname that was slowly growing on you.

After a cup of tea and some relaxation you were feeling a lot better. Peter was impressed at how quickly Jason thought on his feet and that he’d put himself in danger to save him and was a lot happier with your relationship. You’d told him about Tim and how well the two nerds would get along so he tagged along with Stark who was out meeting Bruce and trying to explain why there had been an explosion and Avenger sighting in his city, and Natasha used her expertise to know it was time for you and Jason to have some alone time, so she headed out as well.

Now you were resting in Jason’s arms as he toyed with your hair. Breaking the silence you admitted “I think I severed my powers when I thought you died” and Jason looked up, his face asking you for more. Delving into some of your own truths you admitted “I always knew my powers were emotion driven. Like our kiss that one night. And I knew there was a reason that I have to keep some energy inside and reign it in, but now I know that releasing it all doesn’t explode, it makes me implode on myself. Like the energy I use is raw emotion and when I thought you were gone it hurt too much and I cut it off” you sighed, enjoying the feeling of letting it off your chest. You could’ve sworn Jason slyly wiped a tear away before pulling you in close as he too sighed. “I think you’re right Y/N but that means your powers are more interesting than we ever knew. And I know what it feels like to lose everything, and I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing for ever being the reason you felt the loss. It kills me to think of you in such pain you couldn’t feel it anymore. Because you are the strongest person I know and I know how painful it must’ve been. I’m so sorry. And I love you”

The big eight letters. They felt right. Raising your head to his you took his lips in yours, trying to convey the same words right back at him. In the moment of pure love you felt warmth envelop your entire body, unable to contain the joy. Mid-kiss you let a grin slip onto your face and you pulled away. “Jason Todd I love YOU!” you moved to throw your arms around him and as you outstretched your fingers you released some of your love into the air and suddenly everything in the room when black.

“Y/N you just shorted out the apartment building. But I love you too” You were kind of glad the lights were now off because Jason couldn’t see the furious blush that developed on your cheeks. Flopping down on to him you mused “Too many emotions for one day, I feel pretty shorted out too” and Jason hummed in agreement. As the two of your drifted off into sleep you heard him mumble:

“You better get control of these emotions I can’t be telling you I love you then having you break my toaster. I need my waffles you know” and you groaned.

“I’ll put that on the list of things to worry about. Right beneath the end of the world so pretty high up there”

“Thanks I appreciate it. Good night my lovely bolt of lightning”

“Goodnight you sappy fuck”

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walkerwords · 4 years

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“Not Alone Anymore” Part 1 of 2 - Aaron & Sister!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: Gene Page/AMC

Request from @thanossexual: Hi, can you please write something about Y/n looking for her brother Aaron and after Sooooo many years that passed since the outbreak she never gave up, she meets Jesus in the woods and he helps her (he doesn't know that its Aaron) and then she finally finds him and they have a happy reunion. She meets Gracie and just lots of fluff

Word Count: 3894

Warning: None

Song I Wrote To: “Brother” by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. Gavin DeGraw

Note: This is going to be a 2 part story! Maybe three, but two for sure! I have a fun idea for the next part, but I wanted to get this up cause I promised I would! Thank you for the request!

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The air tasted stale on your tongue.

It had been two days since you had eaten and one since your last drink of water. The last time you had found a stream, it was packed with water-logged Dead as they struggled to get out of the water and back to lumbering on land. The Virginian landscape stretched out before you as you walked along the grassy slope. A decade ago, these overgrown fields of nothingness looked very different and they didn’t feel as empty as they did right now.

The sun beat down the back of your neck with a ferocity you had gotten used to over the years since the Turn. In the new world, nothing was safe; nothing was certain; everything took something from you.

You had considered looking for a place to hold up. Maybe somewhere near the water or high up in an old building, but nothing ever fit. At times, you felt like Alice in the room with all the doors and no matter what you did, the key never fit.

The shaded tree line beckoned you ahead and you hoped to find some relief from the sun after walking for hours. Your feet dragged along the dead grass as you pushed yourself towards the shade. Eventually, the trees were surrounding you as your dehydrated mind struggled to stay focused.

"Look for high ground, find water, find shelter," you said to yourself. Looking for the sun through the canopy, you found North easily enough and began your hike in hopes of finding a stream. However, it seemed the world had other plans for you.

The Dead came out of nowhere.

Their sun-baked flesh crackled as they staggered toward you, reaching out with their bony hands. Drawing your knife from its sheath, you steeled yourself for the attack. The first one fell towards you and you managed to stab it in its skull before it could grab onto your jacket. The creature fell to the ground with a crunch.

Two more came after you as you backed up, trying to gain perspective. You were tired, hungry, and a bit disoriented, but you did what you always did: fought to survive.

Just as you went for the Biter on the left, your feet were knocked out from under you. You shouted in alarm as desiccated hands pulled you to the forest floor. You kicked out at the groaning assailant, but you were getting weaker by the minute and the fall hadn't helped.

You struggled as the Dead above you, fell to their knees, and tried to grab hold of your flailing arms and legs. You managed to kick one in the jaw, but it barely slowed down. As hands gripped your calf, you allowed yourself to scream as you awaited the pain, but then a rhythmic sound reached your ears.

Horse hooves pounded the ground as a man on horseback came barreling through the trees. From his hand flew a blade that lodged itself into the Biter that had your leg. Two more knives followed as the others were taken out.

Collapsing on your back, you had no fight left in you. If this man was an enemy, you couldn't bring yourself to care.

Boots touched down to your left as he approached. The man crouched over you and as you peered up at him, you were taken aback by his eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of blue you had ever seen. He was tall with his hair pulled back and he wore gloves and a leather duster. With the sun lighting him from behind, he didn't look real.

"Are you hurt?" He asked, checking over your body.

"No," you croaked, sitting up.

"Here," he said, offering you his canteen. You didn't hesitate at the sight of it. You took two large gulps from it before giving it back. You swiped at your mouth with the back of your hand.

"Thank you," you rasped. He smiled gently at you.

"You looked like you could use some help," he said, his eyes glinting in the light. "I'm Jesus," he introduced.

"(Y/N)," you said before the black spots returned to your vision. "I can't...I can't see," you muttered as dizziness took over.

"(Y/N)?" You heard Jesus call, but he seemed too far away. Your adrenaline was fading and you tried to keep your eyes open, but everything was fading too fast. You reached a hand towards the stranger, but it fell at your side as you collapsed back onto the dying earth before succumbing to the darkness that eagerly awaited.

Jesus stared down at you and made a quick decision. You needed help and while he knew Michonne would have his head, Alexandria was closer.

Hiking you up into his arms, Jesus got you on the horse, draping you across the saddle before swinging his leg over as well. Once he was settled, he maneuvered you so she sat in front of him and he took the reigns, snapping them quickly and tapping his heels against the horse's side.

With a quick pull, Jesus rode towards Alexandria, hoping that you would make it. He didn't know what it was, but something was familiar about you and he knew he couldn't leave you behind.

He rode hard through the woods, keeping a tight grip on you as he tried not to jostle you too much. He could hear your labored breathing and occasionally, you would move as if you were trying to fight the fatigue that weighed on you. It didn’t take long for the walls of Alexandria to come into view. Jesus whistled as he approached, gaining the attention of whoever was on watch. Luckily, it wasn’t their head of security.

Gabriel appeared at the top of the wall, looking down at the new arrival. “She needs food and water, please Gabriel,” Jesus pleaded. “I won’t leave her side and I take full responsibility for anything.” Gabriel hesitated, but only for a moment. He disappeared off the watch post and Jesus was worried, he would be turned away after all. He knew Michonne had rules about bringing in outsiders. He hadn’t gotten the full story, but from what Aaron had told him about Jocelyn, Michonne was right to be cautious. However, that didn’t mean he still didn’t have faith in what Alexandria once stood for.

Jesus steadied his horse as the main gate finally rolled open. Gabriel ushered him inside and locked up behind them. “We need to get her to Siddiq,” Gabriel said as he helped Jesus get you down from the horse.

“Her name’s (Y/N),” he explained. “Found her getting attacked by Walkers not too far from here. I don’t think she’s had anything to eat for a while.”

“Was she alone?” Gabriel asked as Jesus heaved you up into his arms bridal style.

“I didn’t see anyone else and she didn’t seem to be looking for anyone before she fainted,” he explained.

“I’ll have Laura and Scott be on the lookout just to be sure,” Gabriel said.

“I’m sorry,” Jesus said, “I know you don’t take in strangers, but Hilltop was too far and I think she hit her head.”

“It’s fine, Jesus,” Gabriel said, “I know what Michonne thinks, but I’m not Michonne.” Gabriel led him to the infirmary. The three of you got strange looks as you moved through the community and it was only a matter of time before word got back to Michonne. Jesus only hoped the resident doctor could fix you up before his Katana-wielding friend kicked you out.

“Aren’t you going to ask why I was heading here?” Jesus asked as Gabriel opened the door for him.

“Jesus, if you think some people haven’t figured it out yet, then you and Aaron a lot denser than I first thought,” Gabriel said with a sly smile.

“Fair enough, Father,” Jesus said as he followed the other man towards Siddiq’s main set up.

As soon as Jesus brought you into the infirmary, Siddiq was moving to clear a bed for you. “What happened?” Siddiq asked, not even caring to ask who you were. It didn’t matter to him right now.

“Severe dehydration, lack of food, and I think she hit her head,” Jesus explained, laying you down on the bed. “I already checked for bites when I saw the Walkers attacking her, she’s clean.” Siddiq nodded as he took out his penlight and shone it in your eyes, gently lifting your eyelids. He felt around the back of your head for any bumps or bruising, but was satisfied to not find any.

Gabriel had taken a few steps back to give the doctor room to work, but Jesus made sure to keep close. It helped when you slowly gained consciousness. Your eyes fluttered open and the first face you saw was the man who had saved you. Your hand blindly searched for him and Jesus was there, adding pressure to your sunburnt skin. “You’re okay, (Y/N),” he assured you. “You’re in a safe place and a doctor is taking a look at you.”

Looking around, you noticed you were in a room in some kind of house. Large windows brought in sunlight and the bed you lay on was the most comfortable thing you had felt since early on in the apocalypse. You let go of Jesus’ hand and tried to sit up. Another pair of hands, the doctor’s you realized, assisted you, placing a pillow behind your back. “What happened?” you asked, trying to get your bearings.

“You passed out after I saved you,” Jesus told you, “I took you here to get help.” You nodded, letting all the information sink in. You knew there were places out there that offered sanctuary to travelers, but you hadn’t felt comfortable enough to seek one out. The words from someone you knew years before ran through your head as you remembered them asking to go with them to “build a new world”. You had been too concerned with looking for your family that you hadn’t taken their hand, but perhaps you wouldn’t be in this situation if you had.

“My name is Siddiq,” the doctor said, “and that is Father Gabriel,” he said, gesturing to the man with the clerical collar that stood on the far wall. Still a bit out of it, you let out a small laugh.

“A doctor, a priest, and a guy named Jesus walk into a bar…” you joked and Siddiq laughed too.

“She had jokes,” Siddiq said with a smile. “Hard to find that these days.” Jesus nodded in agreement. “What’s your name?” he asked you.

“(Y/N),” you said, rubbing at your face. Siddiq then offered you a glass of water that he poured from the pot by the bed.

“Drink, (Y/N),” he said, “we’ll get you some food once your body is more hydrated.” You took the glass from him and drank half of it in one go. “You don’t seem to be injured so one we get you back on your feet with some more water and food, you should be good to go,” Siddiq said reassuringly.

“Yes, I believe that would be for the best,” a new voice said. You all looked over to the doorway to see a beautiful and tall woman. Her dark skin glowed in the sunlight, but her eyes were hard as they stared at you. When you noticed the sword strapped to her back, you inched behind Jesus, reaching for his coat. Siddiq squeezed your arm carefully. “What is this?” she asked.

“Michonne,” Jesus began.

“Don’t,” she warned. “I’ll talk to you later, Jesus.”

“She just needed water and food,” Father Gabriel said to her. “I saw no harm in helping her, Michonne.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Michonne said, approaching you. Jesus stepped away from the bed, giving the woman some room. Your hand fell away from his coat as you looked up at the warrior. “Who are you?” she ordered.

“No one,” you said honestly. “I didn’t even know there was a community nearby. I was on my way to the city and I got attacked. Jesus saved me.” Michonne glanced at the aforementioned man quickly before returning her attention to you.

“Where are you people?” she asked.

“I don’t have any. Not anymore,” you said. “We got separated months ago in the blizzard and I don’t think any of them survived.”

“But you did?” she asked, her tone accusatory.

“Barely,” you said, “it hasn’t been easy being on my own.”

“What do you want?”

“Nothing! I didn’t even know he was taking me here until I woke up moments ago. I’m not here to hurt anyone!” Michonne was quiet for a moment as she thought.

“I want her gone,” Michonne said. “Blindfold her and take her someplace where she can’t find her way back.”

“Michonne, please,” Siddiq said, “she needs rest, she can’t go out there like this.”

“That is not our problem, Siddiq. We have rules for a reason!”

“No, you have rules, Michonne,” he snapped back. “I never agreed to them.”

“Then you don’t need to stay here, do you?” she returned with a glare.

“Enough!” Gabriel said. “I know we all different opinions on how to handle outsiders, but turning on each other is not the way to handle it.”

“I made myself very clear, Gabriel,” Michonne said. Gabriel went to argue again, but footsteps echoed through the room as someone else entered, ready to diffuse the situation.

“We have a council for a reason, Michonne,” the new person said and the voice rolled through you like a wave. You couldn’t see them from your position behind Jesus and Michonne, but you knew that voice.

“Not now, Aaron,” Michonne said and that’s when it hit you all at once.

Aaron.

“Aaron?” you said, his name feeling foreign on your tongue. Slowly, a tall man with a beard and curly hair came around the corner and he froze. Nobody spoke, but the others kept looking between the two of you confused. Aaron stared at you as if he was seeing a ghost.

“Oh my god,” he gasped as he finally snapped out of his surprise. He ignored Michonne and the others as he walked forward, stopping at your bedside. Hesitantly he reached out his right hand to you. You noticed his left was now a prosthetic, but that wasn’t the only thing different about your big brother.

He seemed harder and his eyes looked almost ancient. As soon as his fingertips met your skin, you collapsed towards him. He grabbed you in a hug immediately, clutching you to him. “Oh god!” he cried, pressing kisses to the top of your head. “(Y/N),” he said as you held onto him, trying not to cry. He pulled back, searching your face. “You’re so big,” he said.

“Last time you saw me I was fifteen, so yeah, that tends to happen, brother,” you said and at your words, Jesus’ mouth fell open.

“Your Aaron’s sister?” he asked and Aaron jumped as if he just realized Jesus was there. “The one who lived in Massachusetts?” You nodded, surprised he knew that bit of information.

“She stayed with my mom after the divorce,” Aaron explained and then looked back at you. “How are you here? I thought you were dead.”

“Jesus found me, he saved me. I’ve been heading South since everything happened,” you explained, unable to keep any distance between you and your brother. You held onto his hand, examining all the scars that marked it.

“You found her?” Aaron asked Jesus who just nodded. Aaron reached out his left arm to Jesus and the latter walked into the embrace. “Thank you, Paul,” Aaron whispered, leaning his head on the other man’s chest. “Thank you.” Watching them, it wasn’t difficult to see that Aaron had a connection with your Savior. Jesus pulled back and gripped Aaron by the back of the neck, looking at him with something that looked a lot like love to you, but you kept your observation to yourself. Aaron then seemed to realize the confusion in the room. “This is my baby sister,” he explained to the others. “God, I never thought I would see her again.”

“Aaron,” Michonne began softer this time.

“I know the rules…” he said, but Michonne was shaking her head.

“Rules don’t matter when it comes to family,” she said and the look in her eyes told you that she had lost people, someone perhaps she was still hoping to see again. Michonne carefully approached you. “I’m sorry.”

“You have to be careful,” you said, “I understand.” Michonne nodded and then stepped away as Siddiq broke the tension again.

“(Y/N) needs her rest,” he said. “I’m gonna keep her in the infirmary tonight so I can keep an eye on her.” The others nodded and Gabriel moved to leave and so did Michonne, but not before pausing by Aaron’s side.

“I’ll take your guard shift and let the others know what happened,” she said.

“Thank you, Michonne,” he said and Michonne gripped his shoulder before following Gabriel out of the room. Jesus stopped by the doorway and looked back.

“I’m gonna be around for a bit, Aaron,” he said, “if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” Aaron said, “I’ll come to find you in a bit.”

“I can watch Gracie for you,” he offered, “She and I have some catching up to do anyway.”

“That would be great, Paul,” Aaron said gratefully. “Thank you.” Jesus smiled and then sent a wink your way before exiting the infirmary.

“I’ll let you two catch up,” Siddiq said, placing more water on the bedside. “Make sure she drinks, Aaron. We’ll try food in a bit.”

“Thanks, Doc,” you said, grabbing the water glass again. He nodded to the both of you before leaving as well. Finally, alone, you reached for him again and Aaron took you in his arms. “I can’t believe I found you,” you said into his chest.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N), I should have come for you, but I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t even know where you were.”

“Don’t do that,” you said, leaning back so you could look him in the eyes. “Do not blame yourself. I’m okay, Aaron. I survived, we both did. It took a long time to get to you, but I’m here now.” Aaron nodded, blinking back the tears as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I have so much to tell you,” he said.

“Me too,” you said with a weak laugh. “Though I have a feeling your stories are much more interesting than mine,” you said, tapping the metal arm. He scrunched his nose and lifted his prosthetic to his face.

“Pretty cool, right? A couple of the blacksmiths at Hilltop made it,” Aaron explained.

“Hilltop?”

“The community where Jesus is from,” he said.

“There’s another community?” you asked, surprised.

“Four in all. We’re in Alexandria, then there’s Hilltop, Oceanside, and the Kingdom. I’ll take you to them sometime soon. Introduce you to my new family. Though, we may have to go a little deeper into the wilderness to find one of my best friends. He’s not really a sociable person right now.”

“And yet he’s your best friend?” you asked, smiling.

“He’s...Daryl’s odd, but we love him.” You smirked as you drank more water, relishing in the feel of it cooling your throat.

“Who’s Gracie?” you asked after Aaron filled your glass again.

“My daughter,” he said and you nearly dropped the drink in your hand.

“Daughter?”

“You’re an aunt, (Y/N),” he said with a beaming smile. “I can’t wait for you to meet her, she’s everything and more.”

“How old is she?” you asked, trying to imagine your brother with a kid.

“Six,” he said, “almost seven and a total dream of a kid. I couldn’t have asked for better.”

“Well, I can’t wait to meet her too. If she’s anything like her daddy, I’m sure I’ll love her.” Aaron and you spent the new couple of hours, reminiscing about life before the Turn and what happened afterward. You told him how you tried to get to Virginia after the first outbreak, but got caught up in a group of people wanting to head West. Eventually, you had gotten away from them, but were on your own for months after until you found another group and stuck with them for at least a year. “I never really fit anywhere, you know? Couldn’t find my people. Though, it looks like you did.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said as he lay next to you, staring up at the ceiling. “It wasn’t easy, but we’ve all become more than family. Everything we’ve been through…” he trailed off, his hand fiddling with one of the straps on his left arm.

“Mom died at the beginning,” you explained softly. Aaron nodded.

“I figured,” he sighed, “I don’t know what happened to Dad, but he was sick the last time I spoke to him.”

“I know, he called me and told me about the cancer,” you said, “I just hope he’s not out there roaming around, you know?”

“Stubborn man like him? Probably went out with a bang, (Y/N),” he joked. You both were quiet for a moment before you asked what had been on your mind since you woke up.

“Am I safe here?” you asked. Aaron turned on his side, pushing the hair from your face.

“Yes, I promise. Tomorrow, I will take you out of this room and show you everything this place is. We fought hard to keep Alexandria, and now it’s home.”

“Okay,” you said, stretching your hands out in front of you. “I still trust you, always will.”

“Good,” Aaron said and then grabbed your arm suddenly causing you to jump. He turned your right arm over and exposed a large scar that ran from your elbow to your shoulder. “What happened?”

“Ran into a herd about six or so years ago” you explained. “Fell down a short hill and got my arm all shredded by some razor wire.” Aaron cringed at the thought.

“How’d you get away?”

“Some guys actually hauled my ass through the woods and saved me,” you explained. “Weird guy, but he was strong and he protected me until I could handle things on my own again. Never saw him again, but I owe him a lot.” Shrugging, you pulled down the sleeve of your shirt. “What about your arm?”

“Lumber accident,” Aaron revealed and you laughed.

“You’re serious?” you asked.

“It’s true, we were building a bridge and Walkers snuck up on us and some idiot let go of the rope that was holding the logs and it crushed my arm. Luckily, Hilltop has a badass field medic and she fixed me up good.”

“She still around?”

“Yeah, still at Hilltop.”

“Remind me to thank her when I visit,” you said as you curled into your brother’s side, closing your eyes. “What happened to you, Aaron? What haunts you?” Aaron pulled you closer, leaning his head on yours.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow, kid,” he whispered.

“Don’t call me kid,” you mumbled and as you fell asleep, finally feeling safe, but not because of Alexandria, but because you finally found him. You finally found your family.

PART II

TAGS: @thanossexual @felicisimor @yes-sir-hotchner

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rainydaydream-gal18 · 3 years

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Steve Rogers x Reader: The Nutcracker (AU) Part 1

[Author’s Note: Sooooo I started this story last year and never got around to finishing it, so I ended up taking the parts I’d written off tumblr. This time, I finally wrote an end to this story and felt like it’d be a nice thing to post around the holidays.

It’s an Avengers fanfic, but it’s the story of the Nutcracker (more like the Barbie one where the reader is not a little girl lol)

Warning, these are long]

With a sigh, you watched the clock tick from a spot on the floral-patterned couch as you fiddled with a pencil and blank sheet of paper and thought of something to draw. Your younger brother busied himself playing with the action figures your grandparents got him as a Christmas Eve present. He was so spoiled it drove you crazy. It seemed he got everything he wanted at the drop of a hat. Grandparents are supposed to spoil you a little, but it felt like everyone took part in spoiling him. Meanwhile, you worked hard and tried to earn what you wanted on your own.

Your grandfather entered the sitting room, pocket watch in hand. “Your Aunt Lily has arrived,” he announced. “Why don’t you kids help her with the bags?”

He was so cute. To him, the two of you would always be “kids.” You immediately got off the couch to help, but paused.

“_(brother’s name),” you called to your brother. He glanced up from his action figures. “Are you going to help?”

He resumed moving the action figures around. “I’ll be there in a minute.” Translation in little brother language: Never.

Sensing your irritation, your grandpa nodded. “I appreciate you helping out, Gumdrop. Thank you.”

You couldn’t be upset anyway because Aunt Lily was here! She was definitely the cool aunt that took you out shopping and encouraged you to be yourself. You had actually formed a friendship as you grew more mature. Only problem is, she was almost constantly trying to interest you with a guy. Every Christmas it was the same thing; her gesturing to handsome strangers and giving you suggestive looks. Still, she was very fun to be around.

“____________!” she greeted as you emerged from the hallway into your grandparents’ kitchen where some of the relatives gathered to welcome her. “There’s my favorite niece! Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas!” You said with a laugh as she pulled you into a big hug. After a long squeeze, Aunt Lily released you. “How was the trip?”

“It was good! Long, but good.”

“Awesome,” you nodded. “Let me help you with your things.”

“You’re such a sweetheart,” she grinned. “There are a few goodies in the trunk of my car if you don’t mind grabbing them for me. Thank you so much!” You grinned back and headed to the front door to slide on your boots. A part of you hated stepping out into the snowy afternoon. The icy winds chilled you to the bone instantly, but seeing everything clad in sparkling white was worth it. You folded your arms and hurried past the dozen cars belonging to other relatives until you reached Aunt Lily’s. After retrieving the big Christmas bags and a suitcase, you locked the car and went inside.

“I think that’s everything,” you stated, kicking the snow off your boots at the doormat. Some snow may have gotten on your Captain America socks. Ugh.

“Thank you again!” Aunt Lily took a few bags off your hands. As you helped her put gifts under the tree, you both got caught up. She told you about her most recent road trip, the hotel she stayed at and even the celebrity she ran into, while you listed in wonder. In turn, you told her about college and all the latest friend group drama. After everything was unpacked, Aunt Lily reached under the tree and picked out a wrapped gift. “This,” she began, handing it to you, “is for you. An early Christmas gift from me.”

“Oh,” you smiled. “Thank you!” You in turn grabbed a particular gift from under the tree and handed it to her. “This is for you!”

She gave you a kiss on the cheek. “You’re such a sweetie.”

After unloading the remaining things from her car, you found a quiet place away from the family hustle and bustle to open your gift from her. Your brother came running into the room.

“Look what Aunt Lily got me!” He held up a box of building blocks set. The picture on the front of the box showed what the finished product would look like. This one resembled superhero compound, complete with the heroes in figurine form. “What did you get, ___________?” He asked as he climbed over into your personal space. But of course, he couldn’t leave you in peace for five minutes.

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know yet, bro, I haven’t had the chance to open it yet.”

“Oh,” he shrugged. “Well then, carry on.”

With a few rips, you tore through the wrapping paper like you had when you were a kid just for fun. As soon as you saw the red, white, and blue shield you gasped.

It was a Captain America themed nutcracker! He was so adorable too! His outfit was red-white, and blue, and sort of looked more like the usual princely garb a nutcracker would wear instead of his usual costume, but he held the shield in one hand.

“Oh wow! This is so neat!” You exclaimed.

“I’m so glad you like it,” Aunt Lily said. She had entered the room to watch your reaction. It was no secret that you went crazy for this sort of thing. You were a total geek when it came to Marvel movies as well as Marvel-related merch, and you were proud.

“I wanna see!” Your brother whined as he struggled to reach for it.

“__(brother’s name)__,” Aunt Lily scolded. “That is ____________’s. I got you something of your own. Why don’t you go put it together?”

He immediately became preoccupied with his own project, and you mouthed the words “thank you” to your aunt. A dazzling smile played on her lips in response. She was the coolest.

The whole family squeezed into your grandparents’ dining room for dinner. It was a lively meal with people chatting and catching up. Some relatives lived far away and could only visit a few times a year, so this was kind of a big deal. You were asked a million questions about college, your part-time job, and friends. You filled everyone in on the deets about classes and the part-time job you got working at the local bookstore.

“We’re so proud of you,” Aunt Lily said, and you couldn’t help but grin back. That was always nice to hear.

“This one is so smart. Always has her nose in a book, whether it is for school or just because she enjoys reading,” your mother said. You blushed at the attention.

“That’s good,” your grandma said. “Keep it up. Keep learning.”

A few conversations later, the family went to their rooms to get changed into pajamas for the evening. There would be a Christmas movie or two in the living room shortly. Since your brother was the youngest in the family, he got to pick the movie. The two of you exchanged knowing looks, and he chose Polar Express.

“Yesss!” you gave him a big hug.

As much as the two of you could be annoyed with each other, he was still your brother. Both of you sat next to each other in pajamas and shared a bowl of popcorn as your grandpa tried to figure out how to work the DVD player. Technology had developed to the point where any movie could be accessed digitally in an instant, and he was still trying to understand how DVD players worked. You felt bad, but you and your brother tried to hold back giggles.

At the start of the movie, you were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. As it progressed though, you began to feel tired. Before you knew it, you were drifting off to sleep.

- - - -

“I’m sorry, __________,” someone sobbed. You were awake instantly, blinking your eyes open. The living room was empty. It was after midnight, and everyone must have gone to bed already. The TV was off, but a cozy fire warmed the room with a dim light from the fireplace. You rubbed your eyes and focused on your brother who stood in front of you, crying.

“What? What’s wrong?” you asked with a sigh.

“I...I didn’t mean to do it. I just wanted to play…”

Your eyes went from his teary eyes to what he held in his hand. It was your Captain America nutcracker. His arm had been twisted at an odd angle. Your brother held the shield, which had broken off, in his other hand. Your first instinct was to get angry.

“What did you do?” you demanded. “You shouldn’t have been playing with him in the first place. Aunt Lily gave him to me. You got your own present!”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he cried. “I didn’t mean to break him.”

You sighed again. It was apparent he really felt bad, and you knew he would never have broken something of yours on purpose.

“It’s okay,” you said finally. “Well, it’s not okay, but I forgive you. Thank you for coming to me instead of trying to hide it.”

Relief washed over his face that you weren’t going to freak out on him, but he still showed signs of guilt. “I can get you a new one.”

“No, no, that’s okay. This one is special from Aunt Lily, and I’m not going to give up on him just because he had a little rough patch.” You gently took the nutcracker from your brother. “You don’t give up on people just because they’re broken.”

You focused your attention on the Captain America nutcracker in hand. He still needed a little fixing. Your brother went and fetched some glue from the miscellaneous drawer in the kitchen. You used a ribbon from the package Aunt Lily gave your earlier to make a sort of temporary sling to keep the nutcracker’s arm in place. You looked into his painted blue eyes and smiled. They seemed to sparkle now. Perhaps they had always been this bright, and you just hadn’t noticed before.

Your brother returned with the glue, and helped you reattached the shield. He did a good job.

“There,” you said. “He’s looking pretty good.”

“Yeah, he is.” Your brother agreed. Then, he wiggled his eyebrows. “Good enough to kiss?”

You gave him a look.

“What? I heard you talking to your friend on the phone once. I know you think Captain America is ‘hawt,’ so don’t even deny it.”

You rolled your eyes and grabbed the nearest couch pillow to fling at his face. “Alright, you just ruined the brother-sister bonding moment.”

He stuck his tongue out at you.

“What are you, two years old?” You threw another couch pillow. “Anyway, it’s late. I’m going back to sleep.” You gathered the pillows again and fluffed them up before lying back down on the couch. “I think I’ll stay out here and enjoy the fire.”

“Okay, I’m going to my room,” your brother said. “Goodnight, thanks for not killing me.”

“Goodnight,” you opened a sleepy eye to watch him leave the room. Then, you chuckled. “Oy, I’m tired…”

- - - -

Crash. You were ripped from a cozy, deep slumber to the sound of glass shattering. A loud bang sounded. More glass shattered. You would have blamed your grandparents’ cat if it weren’t for the fact that they haven’t had a cat in years.

That’s when you really woke up. Fear gripped you as the sounds came from behind the couch, near the Christmas tree. It had to be an intruder. But what the hay were they doing near the tree? Stealing presents? A part of you was scared to look. Still, you slowly and quietly poked your head up just enough to peek over the back of the couch.

What you saw amazed and horrified you.

Your Captain America nutcracker was launching his shield at what looked like a miniature Chitauri.

“What the actual heck?” you whispered.

The Chitauri was decapitated, but another leapt out from behind the Christmas tree. The nutcracker charged at him and engaged in hand-to-hand combat. More jumped in, and he fought them off skillfully. But he didn’t seem to notice another sneaking up behind him.

You weren’t sure what came over you. Whether this was a dream or not, you did not want to see Captain America get mauled by one of those creepy things. You hurried around the couch.

“Watch out!” you called out, and fortunately, you reached him in time. Without thinking, you stomped your foot. Ew. There might be creepy chitauri gunk under your slipper now…

Your nutcracker looked up at you, his painted blue eyes seemingly sparkled more now.

“Thanks,” he said.

“No problem…” You managed a smile and a shrug. This was crazy. It had to be a dream.

He seemed to sense your unease. “This must be strange for you,” he said as he resumed fighting oncoming enemies. “I will explain soon.”

“Sure,” you nodded, biting your lip as you noticed a particularly large group of chitauri crowding around your feet. It was no trouble. A few swift kicks sent them all flying.

“Hm, darling,” a strangely familiar voice spoke. “This isn’t going to work…I cannot afford any flaws in my plan.”

“Loki?” you said in disbelief. “But it’s been years since the first Avengers came out…Why are you still the bad guy?”

He emerged from behind the tree, a little shorter than your Captain America nutcracker, except he had used his illusion abilities to look like a mouse. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. “However, I do know that you are getting in the way. You’re too tall, I’d rather you be small…” He waved his scepter, and suddenly everything around you began to grow.

Or rather, it was you who was shrinking.

The chitauri that were coming at your feet so pitifully became more of a threat as you reached their eye level. You squeaked as they crowded you, one grabbing your arm. Just then, a few of them roared and began to back off.

Your nutcracker came barreling into the mob, quickly wrapping a wooden arm around you and pulling you from the danger.

“Y-you rescued me,” you gasped. “Thank you!”

“Of course,” he replied. “But don’t thank me yet, _________.” He released you, but kept holding your hand as he raced away. “We’ve got to get out of here and back to the Kingdom.”

“What?”

“Yes, to find the Sugarplum Princess. She’s the only one who can change you back and rescue us all from the Wannabe Mouse King.”

“Oh, goodie.” You clung to him as he leaped up onto a tree branch. “And how do we find this Sugar Pear-“

“Sugarplum Princess,” he corrected gently. “And I’m not sure.” The two of you became the climb up the tree. You had done some tree-climbing as a kid, but this was something else.

You wondered why the heck the two of you were climbing the tree if you needed to get back to this “Kingdom.” Your nutcracker remained at your side, ensuring you didn’t fall whenever your foot slipped on a branch.

“We have to get to the star of the tree,” he said, as if reading your thoughts. “It’s our way out.”

Behind you, a few chitauri-minions began climbing too. The Mouse King with Loki’s voice shouted commands and threats to them as you and the nutcracker managed to reach the top.

The star looked so big and bright to you in this size. Was it just you, or….was it glowing brighter?

Nutcracker-Steve ushered you closer to the star. He took your hand in his and touched it to the star. With that, there was a flash of light, a sensation of falling, and suddenly you felt chilly.

Opening your eyes, you saw a blanket of white stretching out miles and miles before you. Snowy mountains stood strong and beautiful to the left of the scene, and a frozen lake far on the right.

“W-where are we? This does not look like my grandparents’ living room.”

“This is the Kingdom,” Steve said. “This is what I’m fighting to protect. The Mouse King desperately wants to rule over this place and its people, but we can’t let that happen. I’ve already wandered so far off track.”

You had to admit it was beautiful here. Everything was coated in sparkling light, resembling Narnia when the Pevensie children first arrived. Only you got here through a tree star, not a wardrobe. And it was still night here.

“So, what do we do?” you asked, hugging yourself to try and retain some warmth. Steve’s painted eyes seemed to soften sympathetically.

“I’m sorry about the cold. Well, I’m sorry about all of this, actually.”

“It’s fine. You can’t really help it.” Your breath rose up in a cloud through the air with each word.

“I’ll tell you what,” he said, running a wooden hand down your arm in a pointless attempt to warm you. “We’ll head to the nearest town for some warm clothes and supplies. Then we need to find out where the Sugarplum Princess is.”

“Sure, it seems I don’t have much choice. I might freeze to death otherwise,” you mumbled. Steve attached his shield to his back and began trekking through the snow. You followed in his footsteps, hoping to avoid getting lots of snow in your slippers. Unfortunately, it was inevitable. Before long, snow had gotten into your slippers and melted around your feet, making them ice-cold. The snow began to pick up, and it seemed to become a blizzard.

“The Mouse King knows we’re here,” Steve shouted to you. “He’s trying to make things more difficult.”

“But of course he has ice powers,” you complained, teeth chattering.

Not much longer after that, you saw a warm light in the distance. It glowed faintly through the intense snowfall. The sight of it alone made you think of warm blankets and clothes, sitting comfortable and dry by a fireplace. Oh, you hoped they’d be welcoming.

“Almost there, _________,” Steve told you. “We’re almost there. Hang in there.”

PART 2

#avengers #avengers reader insert #avengers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #avengers x reader #steve rogers #captain america #reader insert #captain america imagine #avengers imagine #steve rogers imagine

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residentlesbrarian · 3 years

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The Fourth Book I Read In the Dark: Of Expectations and Other Relatabilities

Of Gryphons and Other Monsters by Shannon McGee

Hey, guys, sooooo...this is aaaawwwkward. I wrote 95% of this review when I wrote the other Books I Read in the Dark series for the blog, but the ADHD hit me and COVID was still you know...a thing! So I am gonna post this review, finished of course, OH, but also pay extra close attention to the conclusion alright! Hmm...this is a bit like a time capsule...here are my concentrated thoughts from 6 months ago while I was slightly delirious on books and darkness. So go forth and uh yeah this one is...you can just feel the feral “I haven’t had access to proper internet so I’ve been curled in the corner like Gollum with my books” energy coming off it so...enjoy?

Okay, so yeah, I really didn’t have a reason to end my last review that way I just wanted to, so sue me for injecting a little excitement into a series of posts about me literally sitting in my house reading nonstop for 2 ½ days, my reviews my rules. Back to manufacturing my own excitement shall we!

It’s Day 2! I’ve just finished my last library book, whatever will I do! I could always reread The Neverending Story for the 1,273rd time, but I have a need. A need for GAY! I rack my brain, there has to be a solution. My town is without power, my local library won’t be open, but then it hits me. It’s so simple! It’s meant to be really! Like the universe knew this was coming and it made sure I was prepared! Like a prepper stockpiling mental SPAM for my stimulus needing ADHD riddled brain! I have an entire shelf of books that I haven’t read yet! Way back in Clexacon 2019 my best friend (Lookin at you @justalifelongphase) gave me way too much money from missed birthdays and Christmases all at once before the con started because the world has deemed it impossible for us to live geographically close to one another. Anyway, I went a little book-buying-crazy and have not had the time or opportunity to read any of them since then. Their time has finally come!

I figured after going full whimsy with The Lost Coast and sci-fi superhero with Dreadnought and Sovereign why not take a dip into more traditional fantasy, also this one was first in line on the shelf, yay for not having to actually make a decision! No more dawdling, let's get right into the review!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Taryn always loves and hates gryphon season. She finds the lesser gryphons more cute than anything but the ever present fear that a greater gryphon might be just out of sight is terrifying, and this gryphon season proves to be the one that will change her and her families lives forever! Just let a girl herd her sheep in peace!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review:

I genuinely enjoyed this book. It took me a bit longer to get through it than the others, but I think that was a combination of three things: A. I was starting to feel the fatigue of reading so much in such a short amount of time. B. Our local Wal Mart had power restored on Day 3 and our entire household went on a trip to buy non-perishable food stuffs and I was like a solitary confinement prisoner being let out into the yard for the first time in months when my phone picked up a wifi signal and it was a bit hard to get back into the swing of reading after talking to other humans, even virtually, that weren’t imaginary or in my head. C. Our power was finally restored on the afternoon of Day 3 so yet again I was inundated with the draw of technology and all of my friend-os I hadn’t talked to, but the book had drawn me in enough I did the most unmillienial thing and left my phone in a different room to charge while I finished this book before going back to the land of technology and interwebs. That should tell you something.

McGee was able to write this story in a way that pulls you in so you care about what happens to these characters and this little mountain town. You learn just enough about the world to understand where they fit within the overall weave of it, but you aren’t given a Tolkein-esc dissertation on the world lore. I felt the worries and the fears. I was concerned when the routines had to change. I mean she made me care about the freaking sheep! Sheep, people! One of the reasons I think this works so well is we are so firmly rooted in the head of our protagonist, Taryn. Imma use that lovely bridge I just built to skip right on over the plot section of the review to get to the characters first, don’t worry we’ll circle back round to the plot. I always do, but I just wanna talk about my newest set of brain babies.

Taryn is a character that, if the title of this post is anything to go by, I found very very relatable. Now I know relatability can be pretty subjective, some people can latch onto something with the all consuming, “It me!” While others just stare on dead eyed not understanding the appeal. I feel like Taryn could be that kind of protagonist. You are either going to really relate to her or you won’t understand where she is coming from at all. I obviously fall in the former category. I was the quintessential middle child, still am really, though my relationship with my parents has shifted now that I’m an adult. More mutual respect and friendship than parent to child. I always did my best to pick up the slack, if ever there was any, and just tried my best to be as little of a burden as possible to my parents. I see so much of that aspect of myself in Taryn and how she sees her place at the farm and even in the town, she has her place and her role, but those expectations are heavy. One of those expectations being that she will inevitably get married and help take over the farm from her parents and have kids to continue the line. The fact she finds the lesser gryphons that flock near the farm far cuter than any of the local boys that she will eventually have to choose from to fulfill that inevitable expectation is just...sad at best and down right tragic at worst. And her family doesn’t help matters either. They won’t let her forget that she will have to settle down with one of these local boys, a boy who would make a good husband and take good care of her and the farm. She knows that, logically, but she also wants to be in love, like her parents, and she just doesn’t feel like that for any of the boys in town. She doesn’t know how to make those two things line up. It’s a struggle between her head, the obligation of what she has to do, and her heart, what she really wants for her future, to be happy in doing what she has to do. Wow, I went off a little bit there, but this was my long winded way of saying I have never read a protagonist that really captured the utter confusion of being raised in a heteronormative environment without it being drenched in internalized homophobia and fear. Protagonists like this seem to always know something is off but just don’t have the words for it so they just hide it because they know it’s “different” and out of the norm, but Taryn is just livin’ her sheep herding life and ain’t got no time for these boy crazy fools. She knows her mom wants her to find a good boy to court her so she can marry someday but she’s still young. She’ll think about that tomorrow, and she just repeats that ad infinitum. The thought that maybe she doesn’t fancy any of the boys because well...girls...never even occurred to her. It's not how things are done in this small mountain town, not because of homophobia reasons, but just stubborn tradition reasons. We are even told there is a gay couple living in town who are staples in the overall dynamics in town, instrumental even, but the idea of having a lineage, being able to pass your land down is so ingrained no wonder poor Taryn was so in the dark about her own probable gayness till it slapped her in the face. As someone who was raised in a medium sized Oklahoma town...girl I feel you. I was 22 and in the middle of Appalacia, way up in the mountains for college when my gay awakening popped up and said “Hello!” Everything that never quite made sense in my life came into perfect clarity. Not quite what happened with Taryn, but the arrival of Aella surely helped, as pretty girls are want to do. Oh look a segue, good, cause I could talk about Taryn for literal hours and I’ve already gabbed about her too much for this review.

Aella, you smooth motherfucker. Like I wish I could possess a quarter of the smoothness that you do. Like I’m lucky to string sentences together around a pretty girl, but here you are just strutting about being the smoothest of smooth. Honestly, I just...I can’t with you Aella. On a serious note though Aella is a character that served as showing Taryn a glimpse at the world beyond her small mountain town, as much as she had no desire to leave, unlike her brother. Nope, sit down, we’ll get to you, Michael! Oh, we’ll get to you. She’s traveled and has stories from all over and she is fairly open about the fact that she only likes girls, but she doesn’t have land, responsibilities, and a family line to continue. She just gets to live her life the way she choses. And y’all know I am a sap for the hard dark characters that are totally softies underneath that rough exterior. I think Aella was a great foil to Taryn and great at showing her what she could have if she was willing to leave, to stretch what she was allowed to wish for, but of course the biggest issue with her wishing for anything was...Michael.

Michael was such an interesting character. I loved him. I hated him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to punch him. Again as with the town and the people of the town I was so deep seated in Taryn’s head and feelings that her conflicted feelings about Michael and how he was acting became my feelings on the matter. Not enough to not separate a tad and see what was coming or at least try to predict it as I always do when reading, but emotionally I was right with Taryn the whole way. The one thing that really pushed Michael from just a character I was conflicted about to one I really wanna give a swift kick in the nads to, is that he knew. He knew all about Taryn’s absolute lack of romantic inclinations toward any of the boys in town and her doubts that she would ever find someone to love and marry to take over the farm. He was the only person she confided these fears in and he still selfishly followed his own pursuits with little regard to her or her worries. You sir, are a terrible brother and overall a shit human, so sit your ass down and shut your mouth.

The plot for this book was so embroiled with the characters and their journeys that I can’t talk on it much but the twists at the end and the final climax was very satisfying for me and left me excited to dig into the next book. Also something of note that I didn’t talk about in the character section cause I felt it was dragging on a touch, I really only talked in depth on our three biggest players but there is a very colorful cast of side characters ranging from Taryn’s nervous pony to the boy-who-cried-gryphon neighbor no one can stand to the troupe of hunters led by Aella’s mother to Taryn’s best friend Nia, all of whom play important parts in building that sense of caring about the people of this town and the town itself, which in turn made me deeply care about the outcome of the plot at the heart of the story. And the sheep! The god damn sheep!

One thing I do want to say before my final thoughts is that whoever designed the cover of this book in a genius because as I dug into the story I found myself constantly closing it to spout off about theories of what I thought was happening on the cover and what it all meant, I was kind of reader fatigue delirious for most of those theories but some of them I was right! I might have reenacted the Captain Holt “Vindication” gif IRL just because it felt too good not to. I just love when a “cool” cover turns out to be so much more than that once you’re “in the know”. So yeah, now y’all know to pay attention for that.

My final thoughts on this book are pretty positive. I can tell the author is building us toward so much more, hence the name of the series, Taryn’s Journey, and it feels like it. This is only the beginning and I honestly can’t wait to take the next steps with her.

Queer Wrap-up:

Hey it’s me from the future...present...whatever...so, this is when I stopped writing the review six months ago and there is a reason for that. I, kind of, agonized over what to rate this book on the scale. Multiple times having to call my brother and go back and forth just to then repeat the same arguments with myself as soon as I got off the phone. Now why was this such a hard terrible no good awful back and forth well...SPOILER WARNING...seriously anything past this point will be spoiling some character beats for the majority of the book...okay? We understand one another. DANGER ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE...or you know scroll on.

So, Taryn is never confirmed to be queer in the text of this book. Now you would have to be wearing the tightest hetero goggles in known history not to see the heavy HEAVY subtext saying THIS BITCH GAY! It’s basically a full grown elephant painted sparkly rainbow trying to hide behind a dead shrub aka not hiding at all. I so desperately wanted to give this book four of those darling unicorns but in this rare case I just don’t think I can justify it. We have a protagonist that is still figuring herself out, which is amazing that we get to see that and go on the journey with her. Some of the things Taryn does and thinks are queer coded as hell, especially if it involves Aella who is explicitly gay on the page, but Taryn herself never express whether she herself is queer. Which, fair, other really important and traumatizing things were going on and I love that about her as a character, she didn’t meet Aella and suddenly that was all she could think about. Aella, of course, is representation who I’m counting because even though she shows obvious interest (you smooth motherfucker) in Taryn she is so much more than just a love interest and her character isn’t just boiled down to her sexuality. Now in this wrap up I’m also including the doctor and his husband in the town. They are very minor characters but they give us interesting insights into the town and the people. They are accepted and treated well in town even if some do almost, pity isn’t the right word, but they seem sad that they won’t be able to have any kind of legacy or lineage. As I said in the review it’s not homophobia it’s being stuck in your ways and it’s an interesting take.

Links:

Shannon McGee Website

The Storygraph

Okay so this one is a bit of a mess. Pieces of it were written 6 months apart and most of it was written while I was kind of delirious but hey at least I can say it’s honest. I still stand by everything my past self wrote and I still really enjoy thinking and talking about this book and am excited for whenever I get around to reading the sequel to continue on Tayrn’s journey with her. This is a book I probably would never have known even existed without ClexaCon and trolling through artist alley for literally every table that had books on them. I guess, moral of the day is maybe you won’t just find great books on library shelves but on unassuming convention tables too and it never hurts to look. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

Oh bet you thought this post was over. I did the sign off and everything but oh no no! I have some info and such to impart. I am WELL AWARE these reviews have been fairly inconsistent to down right sporadic. Well, this is just a little info dump letting you guys know I am gonna be putting up one more review after this one that I wrote ages ago and I mean AGES (think years, as in multiple) and just never got around to posting and then the old blog is probably gonna be going through a PLANNED dormancy while some pretty big stuff is coming down the pike. You may notice visual changes and other stuff before anything else is announced but just keep an eye out. To quote the Fates from Hercules, “It’s gonna be big!”

Okay now for the actual sign off, I got shit to do! No one look behind the curtain, it’s a surprise!

#Of Gryphons and Other Monsters #Shannon McGee #resident lesbrarian #3 unicorns #questioning girl #lesbian #heavy wlw romantic subtext #ya novel #ya fantasy #go to your local library #but wear a mask #and wash your hands #and stay 6 feet apart #be safe out there guys gals and nonbinary pals

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lexilucacia · 3 years

Note

Hi, can you write something where Chase is in a stable and healthy relationship with a girl/guy from outside of work and one day they make him lunch with cute notes inside and house finds it and then mocks him before the team ( original or the rest) and Chase goes I'm happy and that's what matters and then he goes home and proposes because he knows his partner is all he wants in life. Pls pls pls i just want him to be happy.

This prompt really spoke to me, so I’m sooooo sorry to everyone else’s I haven’t written yet, but when inspiration strikes, it just does!

Title: Little notes For Chase

Words: 3031

Tags: Marriage Proposal ×Weddings ×Fluff ×House Being House ×Secret Relationship ×Love Letters ×(or notes really) ×love notes ×thats not a tag ×Love Confessions ×Cross-Posted on Tumblr ×Tumblr Prompt ×Teasing ×Happy Ending ×Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts ×Author Is Sleep Deprived ×I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping ×POV Robert Chase ×

Pairings: Robert Chase/OMC

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29378082

Chase smiled again at the little note that his partner had slipped inside his lunch bag. They never failed to make him smile from the ones that had long extravagant messages to the small ‘I love u!’s that often made an appearance on a busy morning. He can’t really remember how it started, he thinks it must have been a late night where Chase was a bit too tired to pack his own bag (and that made him sound like a school kid). So, Felix had packed food for him, sending him off to work with a kiss and a ‘I love you’.

He had seen the yellow postie flutter to the ground, catching in his grip recognising it as one of his partner’s lucky posties with ducks in the corners. The little message had caught him off guard, he’d expected his boyfriend’s weird rambles that he left around the house accidentally packed in his bag, but instead it was a little smiley face and a love heart. The note read, ‘don’t forget that you are loved (especially by me)’ with little hat drawn onto the printed cartoon duck.

He clutched the note to his chest, pinning it up in his locker once his lunch break was over. They didn’t speak of it, but at night, after Chase had thought Felix was asleep he pressed a soft kiss to his nape, and squeezed him a little tighter.

The notes had become a constant in his life, he was used to finding one sitting one behind the toothpaste holder, one in the cabinet next to a new box of his favourite cereal and occasionally in his textbooks when he was studying for requalifications. He still found notes in his lunchbox, his favourite sitting next to a picture of him and his beloved. This one in particular read ‘I know I don’t have to woo you my love, you’d never leave me. But if you did, let’s just say I know an abandoned warehouse, you’re with me for the long haul.’

Chase had almost cried at that one and had wanted to pull out the wedding ring he’d put in the back of his cupboard a few months prior, that very night. Felix’s warped, wacky and weird sense of humour was the reason Chase loved him so much. He nevertheless stopped himself, unable to forgive himself if Felix didn’t get the proposal he deserved, goddamnit.

They’d talked about marriage a lot, but neither had popped the question and Chase wanted to make the day that he did perfect (if Felix didn’t beat him to it at this rate). He was falling more in love with the man and his endearing notes, not that he’d thought it was possible and most days he thought his heart might burst with love. He’d be concerned if he wasn’t a doctor and working at a hospital.

Felix always seemed to know what to say. Reminders of love and worth came on days where he couldn’t his dad’s words out of his head, notes of memories and date nights came when Chase was feeling nostalgic, and his favourite every day the assurance of love. He never knew how to repay Felix, what to do for him, so he settled on small things, things that often would come up in the notes.

He’d notice that Felix was running out of clean socks and the next day all of Felix’s socks would be lined up, folded and washed (even if he’d had a night shift), prompting the drawing of tiny socks on his next note. Or Chase unloading the dishwasher, or putting Felix’s books away when he fell asleep with them on his chest.

Both of them savoured these small things, tokens of their love, their bliss and domesticity. It all seemed to be going well, until one day Chase was careless. His boss House had all but ordered a team lunch, so there was no way out with his dignity (or secrets as it may be).

Lunch started out normal, or normal as it could be with House and his nosey (pining in one case) colleagues, Cameron and Foreman, so he should have expected this. Chase pulled out his lunch bag, ignoring the snickering from House about how gay it looked and set to work digging through to see what food Felix had packed today. Inside it held a vegemite sandwich, a few pieces of chopped up fruit, juice box and a small lamington they’d purchased earlier in the week.

It honestly looked like a school lunch, House teasing him as such as he ignored his definitely flaming cheeks and certainly beet red ears. He was almost (not really) pleased to see the lack of a note perching in his bag, until something yellow fluttered past his eye, reminding him of the first day. Before he could smile goofily at the memory and snatch up his note, a loud sound rang out in the cafeteria.

The yellow disappeared under a familiar stump of wood, that Chase was used to hearing click down the halls of PPTH. The man had surprisingly quick reflexes (only when it embarrassed Chase of course) and the paper made a loud sound as it slid along the floor to House’s foot. The thrum of his heart beat and the scraping of the paper was all he could hear as the cafeteria noise was muffled around him.

The older man picked up the note, capturing the attention of a few tables around them and the new people sitting at their table. House scrunched his eyes at the note, crinkling his nose in distaste at contents and reading it disdainfully.

“3 years i’ve put up with your ugly mug and you still haven’t learnt to fold shirts properly. Date night doesn’t sound so fun now.” The note had a crudely, pencil drawn shirt on the duck, making Chase smile as he looked over House’s shoulder.

Ho honestly didn’t know whether to sob or laugh, settling for a strange mixture of both, smile wide and tears running down his face, so that the rest of the cafeteria was staring at him, if they hadn’t been before.

It was their 3 year anniversary, Felix had remembered the conversation they’d had on their first date, he had never been more in love with the man. He must have zoned back, because when he finally snapped back to snatch the note from a gaping House’s hand, he was being barraged with questions.

“3 years?”

“Why didn’t we know?”

“Who is she?”

“What’s the crying for?”

“How could you have kept this a secret?”

“Is she hot?”

“I thought you slept with everyone?”

“What about the nurses?”

Chase was already getting a headache, not in the mood for this and wanting to sneak off and call Felix, just to rant about his day or blubber about his love, whatever came out first. He put a hand out, effectively silencing everyone. He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “What do you want to know?”

Before they could all start shouting again he sighed. “One at a time.”

“Who is she? Why didn’t we know? How long Chase?” Chase had to coach his face into a neutral expression not to blow up at Cameron, the woman had made it no secret of her crush on him.

He simply raised an eyebrow, on an otherwise poker face. “His name is Felix. 3 years and I am under no obligation to share my personal life. There is a reason it’s my private life.” He glared.

Cameron looked shocked, before apologising for being rude and Chase felt a little guilty, but not enough to apologise in front of hundreds of prying eyes. He turned to Foreman who looked like he was bursting for a question.

“He?” Was all Foreman could get out, voice squeaky.

“He is the love of my life. Any more questions?”

“Knew you were too pretty to be straight.” House smirked, taking a bite into the younger man’s sandwich before spitting it out.

“Did you try to poison me?” He shrieked.

It was Chase’s turn to smirk, picking up the offending sandwich and taking a large bite out of the other side. “I hope my boyfriend wasn’t trying to do so, it would have been me.” He exclaimed with mock horror.

He munched on the sandwich ignoring the taunts coming his way from House and walked back to his locker to put away his lunch bag and postie. Unfortunately House, Foreman and Cameron had deigned it necessary to walk him to his locker. After failed attempts to get them to walk away he opened his locker, smiling at the bright yellow notes and pictures of the two of them.

The photos detailed their story, their first date and Chase could almost feel it, smell it, taste it. Their hands damp with nervous sweat, uncomfortable suits and awkward conversation at a fancy Italian restaurant that had ended with them shucking off their ties, undoing their top buttons, kicking off their shoes and running in the rain. There was a cute, but blurry before and after photo of their date that Chase had insisted on printing for their anniversary.

The rest of the images showed dates at DisneyLand, kisses under the mistletoe, birthdays and anniversaries spent together, hell there was even a picture of a half asleep Felix, shirtless and covered by a white sheet, Chase had taken one morning when the sun was just right and he looked like an angel in disguise.

The post it notes took up all his locker door, some half hanging off, some stuck with blue tac, others with sticky tape and the special ones hung on a piece of string with some old pegs. It was truly an altar for his love, his life and he couldn’t be happier. Tucked behind it was an old picture of a shirtless blonde, teen, smiling widely on the beach, arm around a similar looking but younger girl, also grinning. They were holding matching surfboards and both were dripping wet from the surf, clutching ice blocks.

Chase treasured the photo of him and his sister, but Felix took up the most space, like he did in Chase’s life. He’d bounded in and never left, from the day he’d run into him on a train and spilt coffee on him (what a cliche), while running late for one of House’s crazy ideas. Felix had filled the hole in his life that Chase hadn’t realised he’d had, life always filled with colour and joy and weirdness, with love and a warmth he’d never felt before. For once he was content, no matter what he could hear the others muttering behind him.

Foreman didn’t leave him alone the rest of the day, every time they went to do lab samples, nudging him and asking about his sex life. Cameron was more discreet but she too wanted to know everything, it wasn’t unusual behaviour for either, but it had never really been directed at him, making it disconcerting.

House however, was acting much the same, always having teased him about the nurses, only changing the pronouns he used and adding more gay jabs than usual. It didn’t bother Chase for some reason today, maybe it was because he was too excited to see Felix, see what they were for their 3rd year anniversary, Felix had said he’d wanted to plan it this year.

As he was leaving the hospital, he was met with wolf whistles and an eyebrow raise from Cuddy (of course House had gone to her). Wilson also gave him a soft smile as he left, wishing him the next of luck Chase supposed, while House had pelted him with comments about his sex life and ‘taking it up the arse’ as he left. He didn’t care, he was floating on a cloud.

He had to stop himself from speeding home, knowing it was dangerous and Felix would definitely scold him for it, besides he didn’t want to go back to PPTH tonight. After what felt like forever he pulled up outside his house and didn’t bother waiting before he grabbed his bag, rushing up the stairs. What he saw when he entered was not what he expected, but endeared him regardless.

Felix seemed to be juggling six pots, pans and bowls, food spilled on the counter and the faint smell of burning was what greeted him at the door. “Felix, my love?”

He called as he walked in, hanging up his coat and shucking off his shoes, going up behind his boyfriend and wrapping his hands around the smaller man’s waist. “What is this?”

Felix set everything down on the counter, turning around to give Chase a kiss and looking severely put out.

“Robbie,” he whined. “It was supposed to be a surprise, and good, and be fantastic and awesome and it didn’t happen.”

He was pouting and giving Robbie puppy dog eyes and it felt so good to come home and be Robbie, himself, not Chase, like his father. He hummed at his partner, swaying with him and ignoring the half-hearted flails and whines to go back to the cooking.

“How about we get some take out and we’ll clean this up in the morning?” He asked, distracting the man with kisses along his freckles and pulling him impossibly closer, flushed to his hips.

Felix looked like he wanted to argue before moaning into the kiss and pulling Robbie closer. “Okay.”

They made their way over to the couch, Felix lying in Robbie’s arms while they argued over what to watch and whether Hannibal or Will was cuter. All in all it felt domestic, it felt like home. He was warm and comfortable, his brain to mouth filter had gone by now. A few too many drinks and shared thoughts about getting railed by Hannibal ensured it, but even he didn’t think he’d be this stupid.

He opened his mouth and without thinking too much about it he asked, “Will you marry me Felix?”

Felix bolted upright, jostling a sleepy Robbie who had Felix lying on top of him and was running his fingers through the smaller man’s hair, the key word being was.

“Are you serious?” Felix asked, wide eyed. He looked on the verge of tears, but the smile on his face betrayed his emotions in a second.

It took a moment for Chase to realise what he’d said, jerking himself awake. “Yeah.” He finally breathed out, suddenly breaking into a grin.

“Yeah.” Before either of them can stop it, they’re breaking out into hysterical laughter, is this what being in love is like? Chase has never felt anything as close, he wants to feel it for the rest of his life.

“Yeah?” Chase smiles, jumping up and running to their room. He runs back out in record time, narrowly missing the coffee table and getting down on one knee just in time to see Felix sprint out of the kitchen. He opens the box up, showing the reasonable sized rock he’d gotten Felix, hoping to god that he’d like it. Felix took one look at the ring before bursting out into tears.

“Will you be my husband?” Chase asked, smiling sheepishly. “I know it’s not a grand proposal and we just had take out and it’s on our-”

Felix shut him up with a kiss which definitely distracted Chase, then opened his own box. “As long as you’ll be mine.”

The ring Felix has chosen is beautiful, there’s no other way to describe it. It is so perfectly them. On the inside the engraving reads ‘for my silly duck’, the outside a rose gold and encrusted with tiny diamonds. Chase let out a wet sob, sliding Felix’s ring onto his hand. The inscription on his reads ‘for my post-it note hero’ and he cannot wait to spend the rest of his life with this man.

They don’t do much for the rest of the night, as the excitement and nervous energy runs down they sit examining their rings, half watching the tv and both fall asleep on the couch. They both wake up a little too late, but Felix doesn’t have to go into work until midday so he packs Chase’s lunch and sends him off to work with a kiss and a goodbye to his fiance.

God it still made them both giddy. The team noticed as Chase walked in, earlier than usual with a spring in his step, Foreman making a crude comment about getting laid and Cameron just smiling awkwardly, obviously agreeing with Foreman’s assessment but unable to say it.

“So who asked?” House asked, walking in the room and glancing at Chase's inconspicuously hidden hand, that neither fellow had noticed.

“It was a joint effort.” He smiled giddily just thinking of the night before as House made gagging sounds and the other two congratulated him. He got a thump on the back from Foreman, an awkward hug from Cameron, an even more awkward bout of advice from Wilson and a happy congratulations from Cuddy. Word spread around the hospital like wildfire, but he didn’t care.

He was getting married. He had a fiance.

He pulled out his lunch, sitting alone at a table, wanting to see what Felix had packed him. As expected a little note flew out of the bag and landed on the table in front of him, it all seemed to be going his way.

‘To my duckling, my darling fiance’, it read, Chase’s heart skipped a beat at the word, ‘I love you with all my butt. I would say my heart, but it is just not as big.’

He laughed at his boyfriend’s crude sense of humor and big gluteus maximus Felix had given the duck in pencil, placing the note in his locker right next to the photo of their first date. The next photo to go up would be a photo of them at town hall, too excited to wait, along with a photo from their first dance and the traditional cake fight.

He couldn’t be happier, with what Felix called them his ‘Little Notes For Robbie’.

#robert chase x omc #robert chase #house md #proposals #marriage #fluff #everything is beautiful #fanfic #house fanfic #love letters #dumb sense of humour #wrote this instead of sleeping #lexi's fanfic #lexi's writing #greg house

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shadowsong26fic · 3 years

Text

Coming Attractions!

A day late, but ah well...

As usual, we’ll go ahead and do an Open Question Night. Which basically means that, while my ask box is always open, tonight I’ll be keeping an eye on it and answering things as they come in. Any fandom or work I’ve talked about here (or posted on AO3) is fair game, as are general questions about writing, etc. I do accept prompts, but I am. Not very good at filling them in a timely manner unless they Immediately spark something, lol.

So, yeah, what’s on your mind?

Also, since I don’t think I have for a couple months, plug for my Discord server! It’s pretty quiet, mostly intended to be a slightly more interactive extension of this space, but you’re welcome to check it out!

Anyway, the usual Coming Attractions details are behind the cut!

PodTogether 2021:

I participated in this challenge for the first time this year, and it was a whole lot of fun! Of Other Suns is a SW/AtLA crossover, and I think it turned out pretty well! My reader/podficcer and I worked pretty closely together during the initial brainstorming process, working out what we wanted to do, and also bounced off one another during the whole editing/finalizing process. There’s a lot that I didn’t end up putting into the fic (because time and length; I am a. Uh. Very wordy writer; the aim was for 6-12k words, we ended up with nearly 15k as it is...), so I might poke more at this specific AU, or crossovers linking up at a different time (either a different point in the SW canon, or in the AtLA canon, or both). I...definitely have extensive headcanons for SW characters as benders of various elements (or nonbenders), and there are at least two Force-sensitive AtLA characters who were outside the scope of the crossover.

Anyway, if you want to check it out...click this link XD (and definitely listen to the podfic too!!! It’s really great)

Precipice:

So, between the final push on PodTogether and some origfic stuff I got done, I...did not get anything finished and posted for this, alas. But! I am saying it here in the hopes that doing so publicly will for once get me to actually stick to a deadline, which is that I will get either the first Protectors chapter or the next Preludes one-shot (or both!) up by this Sunday, September 12. The Protectors chapter will be mostly scene-setting, establishing where various characters are when we open, six years after we last saw our heroes. The Preludes segment will involved Hondo contacting Obi-Wan (and Anakin, who’s with him when he gets the call) about something Relevant To Their Interests.

I will for sure get that Prelude out this month, and hopefully at least two Protectors chapters, but we’ll see how things go at work and how much brain that takes, which is always a factor...anyway, with any luck, I’ll start establishing a Rhythm. I don’t think I’ll be doing weekly updates, the way I did for the first few arcs of Precipice (in part because there are some other longform projects I intend to start putting out and if I am going to do Weekly Fic Posts, I’ll probably alternate), but we’ll see how things go.

AtLA Fic:

Again, I didn’t finish what I wanted to (other than the aforementioned crossover for PodTogether), but I have been working on stuff in the background and, while I’m not going to commit to a Specific Deadline like I am for Precipice, I do plan to post at least the opening chapter of the still-untitled Avatar Zuko AU I’ve been working on this month, so watch this space!

Other Fic Projects:

I’m poking around at what to do for next years SWBB (if only because my wordcounts have been Steadily Increasing and I’d like to get a head start in anticipation of that happening again this year, lol). Still considering exactly what to do, whether I pour all my focus into OFLAM, like I consider every year, or see if I can work up Bail Unfucks the Timeline or another half-plotted AU I have in the back of my head, or go with a different prompt/storyline that occurs to me at some point between now and then, but I’m starting to Actively Ponder things.

I do have that BSG1 crossover outline in the works, I swear XD I’ve got...uh...maybe half to two thirds of the first third of the overall storyline written up? XD It’s a. Uh. Long one. I might go ahead and release it in three parts, just for length/convenience, and because it does more or less have three distinct sections (the initial contact/New Caprica fallout and establishment of the Haven settlement which makes sense in context; the second contact/algae planet; and then an adventure on a resurrection ship to retrieve a Specific Boxed Five and possibly walk away with Ellen because that would just ruin Cavil’s day and I do so love to ruin Cavil’s day, lol). ...I’m going to go ahead and post a preview snippet at the bottom of this post, as Motivation XD

I think that’s all the fanfic stuff I have specific updates for. There’s generally always stuff noodling around in my brain (lately, for Star Wars, AtLA, BSG, or some combination of the three), it’s just how much of it materializes, lol.

At some point, I plan to revisit some BSG epics I had going on (Serenissima; rewriting For Sorrow Sung or doing a slightly different storlyine with the same concept; The Other Battlestar; a few others), but no concrete plans as of yet.

I also kind of want to explore a far-past AtLA setting I designed for a challenge community way back? But I’m not sure if that would work better as an original work with the serial numbers filed off, if I could figure out how I wanted to do that (I have done it before, as I’ll talk about below, but this concept, while not directly involving any characters from Avatar canon as it’s set 2000 years prior to Sozin’s reign, does to an extent lean on the Avatar specifically as a concept, in a way that the other fic I did this with did not).

Original Fic:

Due to a challenge on rainbowfic, I actually got. Quite a bit written? Most of it was not super plot-relevant, but I dropped some Hints about a character in Lux and I got to play in some heads I don’t very often. I might go back to the Regency AU at some point, and there’s a specific reveal I want to write up for a secondary character in The Farglass Cycle, but I haven’t quite figured out how to structure that one, so we’ll see how it goes.

Had an interesting discussion the other day about the way original fiction sometimes starts as fanfic with the serial numbers filed off and...well, a lot of my original stuff starts that way? Or has some roots there, anyway.

Lux doesn’t quite as much, but I definitely ported in at least two characters who started as fanfic characters (leaving aside that this is, y’know, The Apocalypse IN SPACE so, like. Various fandoms that deal with that probably influenced things, plus several key players are Public Domain Characters sooooo), plus some of the way the world is constructed draws on the Native Tongue trilogy and I flat-out stole a concept from Queen of the Damned, though the way it works in this world is different (also, to be fair, I think I’ve seen it in other places, too; but I personally got the idea from there).

The Farglass Cycle and Untitled Intrigues Story, however, straight-up started as fanfic concepts. And I don’t think it’s obvious unless I point out what the source materials were? Farglass, in particular (it’s the AtLA fic I mentioned earlier), because it started as an alternate future and then the map and magic system got reworked, plus the Avatar themself wasn’t even super involved in the original fic context, and while certain characters are very loosely based on AtLA characters, by now they’ve been so altered by the setting that it’s...I used the same archetypes, if that makes sense?

And then Untitled Intrigues Story started as a fusion between two wildly different fandoms, and while one character is a pretty clear expy if you know where he comes from, and another character kept the same actress in my head, I don’t think it’s very clear other than that.

...anyway, not sure where I’m going with that, other than it’s been in my head lately, lol.

...I think that about covers it! What about you guys? What are you all working on? Slash any questions, etc.?

Teaser for BSG1 AU outline, as promised:

So, anyway, SG-1 is prepared for rain and mud and a survivable-but-kinda-unpleasant environment. They’re also prepared for the usual shenanigans--Goa’uld, cranky local politics, weird alien tech that Daniel really should know better than to touch but sends him into another dimension anyway...

Just. Y’know. A normal mission.

They’re...not quite prepared for what they actually find when they step through.

Which is a very tense and now slightly Confused crowd of people, and a firing squad made up of very large killer robots, with a teenage girl as their target.

(One of the large killer robots is. Uh. Well. Half a large killer robot now; that particular Centurion was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got kawooshed in the face. As one does.)

(Said Centurion absolutely wins the ‘Weirdest Death’ pool for the week in Download City, because that is clearly a thing that exists because it entertains me)

There’s a beat where everyone just stares at everyone else, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

The wormhole disengages.

Daniel takes half a step forward, opens his mouth to start the ‘we are peaceful explorers from Earth and y’all seem to be having a Moment here, sorry for interrupting, but, uh...’

And then the moment end and absolute chaos erupts.

#coming attractions #open question night #shadowsong writes star wars #shadowsong writes atla #shadowsong writes crossovers #shadowsong writes original fic #feedback greatly appreciated

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themoonstarwarrior · 3 years

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PLAYLIST SHUFFLE TAG!

Okay, so @viterbofangirl tagged me in this and I need to start learning to post my own shit, so what the hell, why not?

Rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to! put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 15 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!

(I couldn’t stop at 10 so I added 5 more, sue me)

I have very random music taste and I listen to my music on shuffle alot, so I made a playlist of the ones I like the most (that way I don’t hafta skip 150 songs to get to the one I feel like) so I’m gonna use that one.

1) History of Violence - Theory of a Deadman

Hoo boy starting off light huh?.... Yeah so, I was in the drive thru at Sonic when I first heard this on the radio and was immediately like “holy shit”. Instead of like metaphors and poetic subtlety, it’s just straight up like “here’s a poor abused woman who resorted to murdering her shitty boyfriend/husband cuz she couldn’t take it dum dum dum”. Even though the actual situation is not the same, this song is perfect for getting across the internal issues and turmoil of my character Mikey. Its so perfect I’m even planning to animate something for it...... if I ever get around to learning animation that is.....

2) The Vengeful One - Disturbed

Two songs in and I look kinda emo.... But hey this song is soooooo cathartic! I love me a good heavy rock song, and the drums and electric guitar are perfect for my ears to absorb. This song gives off a feeling of overwhelming power mixed with a coldness and disdain for the bad in the world. Obviously, thats not my usual temperment, but its an interesting one to explore! Especially when I’m trying to get into the head of characters that exude that like my OCs Spark or Ryu. Plus its fun to sing in the car X)

3) Enter Sandman - Metallica

Okay this one is just a classic! Same thing with the drums and guitar they both slap SOOOOO GOOD. I don’t really associate this song with any of my characters or fandom favorites, but it DOES give me a super strong urge to learn the drums. EXXXXXXXXIT LIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! OFF TO NEVER NEVERLAND!!

4) We Are Giants - Lindsey Stirling ft. Dia Frampton

I don’t really to listen to music by band or artist, but I LOVE Lindsey Stirling!!! She’s probably my favorite musician! This is such a good song, especially for someone like me. Its a positive song that talks about feeling alone in a crowd and unimportant to the world, but how you really do matter and shouldn’t be afraid to dream big and shoot for the stars. It really speaks to me and the vocalization is so good (especially for singing), not to mention the official music video is animated and AMAZING!

5) Cetus - Lensko NCS

I dunno if anyone knows this song, but damn its good. Its one of those Royalty-Free songs that people look up for their channels, which is how I found it in the first place, but I loved it immediately. Its a peppy 8-bit electronic bop that turns a little Irish jig at the end and honestly I think if I ever start an animation channel I’m totally gonna use it! (Also go support Lensko he make good beats!)

6) Sanctuary - Utada Hikaru

I did not grow up with Kingdom Hearts, and only played KH2 within the past year n’ a half. But good God, the moment that Cinematic Opening came on and this song started playing I swear I astral projected into a daze of feelings without names. I know that “Simple and Clean” is the quintessential Kingdom Heart song that gives everyone feelings, but IMHO Sanctuary blows it out of the water. As beautiful as the animation was, or how curious the occasional backwards lyrics are, or how weird it is having high-res Goofy and Donald in what is essentially an anime opening, I really can’t be distracted from this song when I play.

7) Chemical Plant Zone (Rock Remix) - Zerobadniks

Chemical Plant Song is like, one of the TOP Sonic songs by popular vote (and we know how awesome the Sonic series is musically so thats saying something!), but I could never quite vibe with the normal 8-bit version. I think I first heard this as someone’s ringtone and was immediately like “THATS PERFECT THATS EXACTLY HOW I NEED IT!”. The rock makes the song soooo much better and honestly gives the song the perfect vibe. Unfortunately, it took FOREVER to find cuz none of the Rock Covers of this song were the right one. In fact, tbh, I’m not even sure whether Zerobadniks is the correct artist..... that’s just who everybody was crediting when I found it.

(imma include the link i found since its a little hard to find: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqJiZEM6aPI )

8) The Wolf - SIAMES

YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEOS???? THIS IS A GOD-TIER ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEO. I found the video first, and seriously, if you haven’t seen it YOU NEED TO!!! The beat works perfectly with the images on screen and the story being portrayed is really intriguing, with the lyrics adding to atmosphere without necessarily describing the visuals shown. Even without the animation, the song itself is a banger. It bring to mind the feeling of intense motion forward, but unable to decide whether its movement TOWARD something or AWAY from something. I love listening to this on a nighttime drive.

9) Burn the House Down - AJR

If you ask me, the best way to make a pop song better is to add either violins or trumpets. For this song, it was definitely the trumpets that first caught my attention, and the rest of the song kept me listening. I don’t really know how to describe the vibe of this song, and I don’t have a specific character or story in mind when I listen to it, so its a little hard for me to talk about it. I think the best way I can describe this song and what draws me to it is a feeling of nonchalant go-with-the-flow attitude to shenaniganry. Almost an undertone of “We’re hooligans in a situation that we probably should get out of, but hey we’ve got life and each other so why worry?” At least that’s the closest I can get to a verbal description heh...

10) Slim Pickens Does the Right Thing and Rides the Bomb to Hell - The Offspring

DANCE, FUCKER, DANCE, LET THE MOTHERFUCKER BURN!!!

So this also has a KICKASS animated music video, but its technically combined with the song “Dividing by Zero”. Now the video works SO well with both, and the shifting artstyles reflect the differing tones of the songs PERFECTLY. However, I have a preference for both the animation and the song on the Slim Pickens half. Its fun to listen to and sing at the top of your lungs and its SO CATHARTIC. Again I cant really describe what my head does when I hear it, but I think you can probably feel a similar vibe if you watch the music video.

11) No Heaven - DJ Champion

The first time I finished the original Borderlands, I had been playing for days on end, had just finished a long battle with the Destroyer, and sitting back relieved to have beaten it and reflecting on how much I had enjoyed the adventure. Then this song started playing. For what I believe was forty minutes this song looped on my TV while the credits rolled. By the time the credits finished I was pulling up the song to listen to again! What an absolutely PERFECT cherry to add to this experience. This song perfectly encapsulated the chaotic, trigger-happy, morally ambiguous craziness that I had enjoyed and absorbed in this game. Every time I hear it now, I imagine myself in the wastelands of Pandora, driving haphazardly across the sandy dunes as my companions and I shoot and blow up everything in sight. You know, living the dream.......

12) Hit & Run (Wolfgang Lohr Remix) - The Electric Swing Circus

I fucking LOVE electro-swing! The electronic beats and rhythm blend so well with the wild and energetic freedom of swing. A lot of electro-swing gives me a vibe of wild movement, reckless abandon, and freedom from constraint. I think this song melds all of these feelings the best! As the last song might have indicated, despite my general nice and sweet temperament, there is a part of me deep down that is an absolute gremlin secretly enamored with chaos, insanity, and a general disdain for law and authority X). But whereas anything Borderlands related has a more “morality is an illusion blowing shit up is real” air about it, this song is far more peppy. More of a “good-hearted but insane” type of chaos, like an 100mph car chase where you end up sailing over the train tracks JUST as the train passes.

.... I may have gotten a bit off track lol

13) Kickstart my Heart - Motley Crue

I love this song, but I have to be VERY careful when and where I listen to this. I love songs that make me feel like I’m going a million miles per hour, like I’m gotdam Sonic the Hedgehog. Unfortunately, I may or may not have had multiple instances of listening to this song in the car and abruptly realizing that I’m going like 15mph above the speed limit...... So yeah, regardless of absolutely perfect it feels to play this song while speeding down a nearly empty highway, please be careful and drive responsibly!!!

14) I’m Born to Run - American Authors

Imma just up and say it. This song is a Sonic song; like not like actually from the series but a song for the character. This song encapsulates Sonic as a character better than some of his ACTUAL THEMES (and remember Sonic music are bangers!). Its a song about freedom, living life as it comes, and not letting anything slow you down. Frankly I’m surprised they didn’t make this song FOR the Sonic series, or even the movie! Speaking of which, ironically I heard this song right after watching the Sonic movie in theaters, so yeah there’s no way I can associate it with anything else.

15) Opa Opa - Antique

Oh, what a PERFECT way to end this list! This may be one of my absolute favorite songs of all time! I don’t remember exactly how I found this song... I think I had just relistened to Dalar Mehndi’s “Tunak Tunak Tun” and was looking for other catchy non-english songs and BOY HOWDY I found one! I know nothing about the band or what the song’s about (its in greek and i dont speak it), but this song is just a masterpiece of retro, pop, and dance sounds. This song feels like the musical and lyrical manifestation of dance and movement. I really REALLY wish I could dance JUST so I can express how happy and free this song makes me feel! This is the BEST song for me to end this list with!

***********************************************************************************

JESUS, this got long..... Sorry about that XD. It was fun though, and hopefully somebody was vaguely interested in my ramblings.

Guess I need to tag people now? How about @tharkflark1, @rockmilkshake, @neonbuck, @drawingsdrawingseverywhere, @birthgiverofbirds, @puccafangirl, @kalcat, @biblestudybussybopsbabey, @monstrous-milktea, and @memecage! I think there are a couple of people here I haven’t talked to though soooooo..... hi, I hope you don’t mind the tag X)

Anyway hope you enjoyed and/or want to do this too! This took for-fucking-EVER to type, so imma go fuck off and watch youtube or something now...

#music and remixes #viterbo i was gonna add you to the bottom list and then i was like SHIT SHE TAGGED ME XD so oh well #i may or may not have cheated just a bit but shut up these are the songs i had something to say about #moonstar wont shut up

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aziraphalesangel · 4 years

Note

Special request: where your reply is Hacyon-related, please also give an answer that is non-Halcyon (if possible) B. what’s your favourite fandom to read?E. who is your OTP?F. canon fics or au?G. longfics or shortfics?H. original characters or no?L. favourite fic written by you?P. do you write exclusively fanfic?R. link your favourite fic of all-time.S. link your favourite author.T. when did you start reading fanfic?V. post the last sentence you wrote.X. give a summary of your current project!

B. what’s your favourite fandom to read

So usually I only read one fandom at a time, and any time I read, like, two, is usually when I’m switching over from one to the other. So at the moment, I read the halcyon, but before that was good omens (and a bit of call the midwife, because occasionally I fall back into that, for maybe a week)

E. who is your OTP

adil/toby :P

for non-halcyon, I guess I’d say ineffable husbands, or phryne/jack from miss fisher (I’ve loved them since I was roughly 12 or 13 so...) but I only really have the brain space for a lot of emotion for one paring at a time

F. canon fic or au

generally, I read canon (or canon divergence if the canon is a bit shit) first, because I like reading and writing stuff that fleshes out some of the parts of canon that could have been more in-depth (like toby and adil’s ending feels pretty rushed, so I like exploring that even though it's sooooo angsty) but, au is a lot of fun when going after fluff and just, really funny/random scenarios and figuring out how everyone reacts in completely different situations and whatnot. it’s like a puzzle. so they both have different things that appeal to me :)

G. long fics or short fics

ah, usually short fics at the moment. I’ve had a bit of burnout for the last couple of months (it's so annoying, can my attention span please come back?), and also winter/cold air means I’ve been having more flare-ups, and when I’m in pain I can’t process words at all (soooo boring) but I love a really good long multichap sometimes because you can get completely lost in it and it’s just a lot of fun

H. original characters or no

I really love making ocs up, its fun for practising drawing sometimes. I don’t mind reading it in fics, so long as they don’t take away from the roles of actual side characters, but they can be fun. I tend not to write any in my own fics though

L. favourite fic written by you

ooooooh, I’m still pretty proud of Catch Me which is good omens hurt/comfort (I am a sucker for hurt comfort and I really wanted to read something specific and I didn’t know how to search for it so I wrote it).

I also kinda love Tell me a Story, Tell me a Lie because writing that reminded me a lot of the really experimental writing I did for extension english (literacy/writing etc.) in my last year of high school, and it was really fun to write, but I genuinely was not expecting anyone else to like it because I know second person can be a bit hit or miss,

P. do you write exclusively fanfic

I actually wrote oc stuff before I discovered fanfic was a thing (I would have been maybe 12 or 13), but it got very very dark, and honestly wasn't very good (again, i was like 12 lol). I have written story outlines since, usually for fic ideas that don’t fit a fandom/pairing so I made characters up, which I’d love to flesh out properly, but I’ve never actually written any original stuff at properly since then. I like writing fanfic more though. bonus content!

R. link your favourite fic of all time

I don’t have one???? There are certain fics I come back to first when I fall back into a fandom, but generally I barely have one favourite per fandom, let alone of all time across all of them. like, when I started reading fic for the halcyon again I started from top to bottom until I ran out, because I was mostly just excited that there was actually new fic (and writers!!!)

S. link your favourite author

I DON’T KNOW everyone’s writing style is slightly different, and some days it might be exactly what I want to read and other days I can’t process it at all, which means it changes all the time, but I’ll try not to be a massive baby about this and pick a few...

you (@szonklin) obviously, especially when I need an au fix :P (ao3)

@merefactsandlogic (ao3) who I seem to reread a lot without realising

@santiagosnart was someone I remember from when I lurked back in 2017, and I still really love their fics, and if they ever wrote halcyon fic again I might cry (ao3)

also I’m a massive coward about commenting, I’m trying to be better at that

T. when did you start reading fanfic

I think I was maybe 13? possibly 14? I read shitting hunger games fanfic on wattpad. I discovered ao3 when I was 15 when I got tumblr

V. post the last sentence you wrote

“So he goes up to Toby’s room the next morning, with an apology, an explanation, and a single blood drenched flower.”

(it’s another au I’m not gonna actually turn into a fic, but it accidentally got a little bit too detailed because I decided I was gonna rewrite it oops.)

X. give a summary of your current work

I have maybe 4 or 5? that I haven't touched in months?? (oh fuck the mermaid au) but okay;

so the one (that’s actually gonna be a fic, hopefully, eventually) is another post-canon fic, that sort of focuses more on reactions and processing of what happened in the last ep of the halcyon. I know this has been done a million times before, but like, rather than skipping ahead a few years and then confronting each other, its more about those years that usually get skipped. and they’ll get a happy ending this time (more angst though sorry!)

the not-gonna-be-a-fic thing from the previous question is a hanahaki au, and I’m not turning it into an actual fic because it’s just normal canon except adil has hanahaki. that’s it. just extra drama

(I also have good omens wips which I’m pretty sure I’ll never touch again. I think I might have a couple of marvel ones which I’m definitely never touching again because I’m just not interested in writing them anymore rip)

#ask

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bugaboosandbees · 5 years

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Reine Ruse Part 1

Okie Dokie everybody. Here’s the first part of the written out Reine Ruse AU. I’m sorry that it took so long, but I still get really nervous about posting my writing so I ended up putting it off a bit.

I do want to clarify that the way Marinette views herself at the beginning of this does not reflect the way that I view her. I know that the show forces her to apologize for almost everything even when it’s not her fault, so I’ve tried to reflect that mentality at the start of this by having her have this attitude.

I would also like to say that I’m sorry if this seems rushed or that it could be better. The fact of the matter is that I’m really nervous to post this, so I decided to just get the first part up when I was too sleepy to second guess myself... As a result, this hasn’t been betaed or edited, so I’m sorry for any errors that you might find.

That’ s enough rambling from me! Without further ado, the first installment of my Reine Ruse AU. Please let me know how I’m doing and if you’d like to see more!

____________________________________________________________________

Marinette

It had happened again. She’d arrived at school late, in a mad rush. She hadn’t been able to find her sketchbook that morning, but she knew that she’d taken it with her the previous day. She’d been working non-stop for the past three weeks on a new set of designs -- there was going to be another design competition at the collegé, conceptual designs this time rather than physical prototypes and the prize was a coveted junior internship at Agreste Fashions. It was everything she’d ever dreamed of and she’d poured her heart and soul into the designs she was going to submit.

She hadn’t let the book out of her sight for the past few weeks except for the previous day when she’d needed to run across the building to pick up some documents for Miss. Bustier for her class representative duties -- documents that hadn’t even been there. She should have known that something was wrong, but between being Ladybug and the competition she hadn’t slept in two days and she was so tired. Given how things had been since Lila returned to school, it shouldn’t have surprised her to arrive to the sound of her classmates loudly congratulating the transfer student about her victory in the design competition and it really shouldn’t have surprised her to see her design book in Lila’s hands.

After that, her memory blurred. She’d been so angry and distraught and tired, and she had tried to explain, but no one had listened, berating her again for her jealousy and her hatred and she just couldn’t do it anymore. She’d run away, but as she left she saw Chloe Bourgeois, newly returned from a trip to New York with her mother, scoff and glare at Lila, speaking up to draw attention away from Marinette. She hadn’t even gone home -- she’d just shrugged off Tikki’s attempts to console her and transformed into Ladybug, spending the day running across the rooftops and saving kittens from trees and smiling even though her heart was breaking and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to put it back together again.

Before she knew it night had fallen. She didn’t want to go home -- not yet. There would be questions about why she’d run from school and her parents were so busy and she didn’t deserve to trouble them with her problems -- they worked so hard and they deserved a better daughter… She looked up from her musings as she felt the first raindrops of a storm on her face as the clouds broke open. She needed to get inside, the last thing Tikki deserved was to get sick when she already had to deal with a Ladybug that had so many problems.

She took stock of where she was with surprise. The last thing that Marinette Dupain-Cheng would have expected when she woke up that morning was to be standing on the balcony of the girl who’d bullied her for years, wrapped in Tikki’s comfortable magic and shaking, tears still streaming down her face. She didn’t know why her feet had led her to the Grand Paris of all places, but her mind kept stubbornly replaying those few moments when Chloe scoffed and actually questioned Lila.

Besides, she desperately needed to talk to someone. Her parents were so incredibly busy and she didn’t want to trouble them. Chat had been growing increasingly pushy since Frozer and, although she wanted to believe in the best in her partner, she was afraid he’d feel like she owed him something if she went to him for help. Tikki was wonderfully understanding, but she was an immortal god and despite all her years of experience there were some things she just couldn’t understand. Normally she’d talk to Alya, but… No. The fact was that she didn’t really have anyone to talk to or anywhere else to go. Making up her mind, she raised a red and black spotted hand and hesitantly knocked on the glass doors.

_____________________________________________________________________

Chloe

The last thing Chloe Bourgeois would have expected when she woke up that morning was for Ladybug to knock on her balcony door in the middle of the night. Nonetheless, she was nothing if not adaptable, especially for her idol. She adjusted her silk pajama robe and ran for the door to let Ladybug in.

“Ladybug! It’s so good to see you? Is there an akuma? Do you need my help? Did you stop by to say hello to your favorite civili---” Chloe cut herself off. The darkness had prevented her from noticing it, but the light that spilled out of her suite made it abundantly clear -- Ladybug was crying.

“Can I come in?” the heroine’s voice was unusually small.

Wordlessly Chole moved out of the way. Ladybug took short, sad steps past her, pausing listlessly when she reached the middle of the room.

Oh god, what was she supposed to do?! As far as Chloe knew, there was no established protocol for dealing with crying superheroes bursting in on one in one’s pajamas. And that didn’t even touch the fact that Ladybug’s eyes were so much more blue this close and Chloe was in her very short and very thin pajamas. She shook her head. It was apparent that Ladybug needed her, and if Queen Bee couldn’t help, then Chloe Bourgeois would have to do. She hesitantly walked over to Ladybug.

“Do you want to talk about it?” The words were uncharacteristically quiet and soft. Chloe rifled through her memories, desperately trying to remember how Adrien’s mother had consoled her after so many tears in her childhood. It hurt, to think back to then, but if anyone was worth it, Ladybug was. Ladybug believed in her when no one else did and she’d never admit just how good that made her feel inside.

Ladybug turned towards her, tears still leaking out of her large, bluebell eyes. Without warning, she shot forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Chloe, breaking into incoherent sobs. It felt like forever before the spotted heroine stopped shaking like a leaf, tears drying to sniffles. Chloe awkwardly kept rubbing circles onto her back the whole time, hugging Ladybug as best as she could even as her mind whirled at a hundred miles an hour. What in the ever-loving-fuck was happening? Who could have made Ladybug so upset? It was a good thing she didn’t have her miraculous or she’d venom whatever bastard did this to her… Then again, she could probably still claw someone’s eyes out outside of the suit as well… No, Ladybug needed a shoulder to cry on, not a homicidal sometimes-superhero on the warpath.

Chloe took a deep breath in and maneuvered them so that they were sitting down on one of the plush sofas in her suite. She moved to extricate herself from Ladybug and dammit if the way she tried to cling to Chloe with a small whimper didn’t give her feelings.

She awkwardly cleared her throat. “You need to stay hydrated. You’ve been -- I’m going to call for some refreshments. Did you want anything in particular?”

Ladybug wiped her eyes on the back of a spotted glove. “Cookies, if you have them,” she said quietly. “I’ve been out for hours, I need to recharge.”

Chloe nodded, not quite thinking of the magnitude of that statement and picked up the phone at the side of her bed. She didn’t even wait for whoever was on the other end to say hello. “Yes, I need a mug of warm milk and a plate of cookies as quickly as possible. Understood?” She hung up as soon as it was clear that someone had heard her and went back over to Ladybug. “It should be here in a few minutes.”

Ladybug nodded silently.

Chloe sighed and braced herself. Clearly, Ladybug needed someone to talk to and for some unknown reason, she’d come to her of all people, so she was going to have to do her best. This really wasn’t her strong suit. “Alright,” she said briskly, breaking the silence. “As many lovely qualities as I have, I have to admit that I’m wondering why you came here tonight. Clearly, you’re upset. Why not talk to that mangy alley cat about it? Or a friend from the other side of the mask? As much as it pains me to admit, I haven’t been… the best person in the past. It seems like there’s someone out there who could give you a hell of a lot better advice about whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

Chloe didn’t miss the way Ladybug flinched, first when she brought up Chat Noir and then civilian friends. Oh, something was definitely going on and somebody was sooooo going to pay for this.

Ladybug twisted her hands together. “I…. I can’t,” she said. “I… I don’t think I have any friends outside of the suit anymore.”

“What happened?” Chloe questioned, trying to make her voice as quiet and reassuring as possible. It felt like squeezing into a too-small shirt, but it must have worked because Ladybug continued.

“They betrayed me.” Her voice broke. “Rena Rouge, Carapace, I knew them both as civilians… I trusted them with the miraculous because they were my best friends. But they took the word of someone they barely know over me and they hate me.” She paused. “They were all I had. Before this year, I didn’t have any friends at all. They were my very first.” A watery smile broke over her face and vanished. “I tried so hard to be a good friend -- I didn’t want them to leave me alone again. I was just trying to protect them from being deceived and manipulated… Oh god, it hurts. It hurts so much.”

Fat tears rolled down Ladybug’s cheeks and Chloe’s heart about broke in her chest. If there was one thing that she understood so very well… She scooted closer to Ladybug and wrapped the heroine in as tight a hug as she could manage. She could feel as the shoulder of her robe was dampened by Ladybug’s tears.

“I’m ---- I’m so sorry,” she said. “You shouldn’t have had to go through that.” The emotion was getting too thick in her voice too oh god she could not cry right now keep it together Bourgeois. She took a breath and carried on. “From where I’m standing it sounds like you were a much better friend than they deserved and they didn’t return the favor all that well. I’m not --- I don’t have much experience with things like this. I wish that I knew what I could say to make it better, but I don’t. All I can think of are plans to hit them so hard they’ll fly right out of Paris and not bother you again, but you seem like the kind of person who wouldn’t really be okay with that -- I’m rambling, I’m sorry.”

Ladybug choked off a laugh into Chloe’s shoulder and raised her head. “Thank you, Chloe,” She said with a watery and tentative smile as she wiped the tears off of her face.

Just then a knock sounded on the door to the suite. “Miss Bourgeois? Your refreshments have arrived.” Chloe bustled over and opened the door just wide enough to grab the tray before slamming it in the face of whatever poor soul that had delivered it.

She offered the plate of cookies and the steaming mug of milk to Ladybug. “Here.”

Ladybug set the plate next to her on the couch and wrapped shaking fingers around the mug. “Thank you.”

As she sipped the milk, Chloe’s mind went back to something else she’d said earlier. She didn’t quite know how to bring it up in a way that wouldn’t hurt, but if she was right, she needed to talk to Ladybug about it.

“So… you said that things were pretty tense with your civilian friends. Why aren’t you talking to Chat Noir?”

Ladybug froze, looking down at her lap. “It’s probably silly,” she started and stopped. Chloe didn’t speak, only looking at Ladybug until the heroine continued. “He’s always been so flirty and I think that’s just the way he is, so I try to put up with it. It’s just... lately he’s been... different. When we were fighting Frozer he nearly quit because I wouldn’t return his feelings and ever since Oblivio he’s been acting like it’s a given that we’re going to be in a relationship and he’s getting so pushy and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he’s been more and more flirty and handsy and I’m worried that the people of Paris will think that we aren’t taking our jobs seriously. I’m worried that if I’m too upfront about turning him down again that he’ll just disappear and we’ll lose to Hawkmoth because of my stupid feelings. He’s making me feel really, really uncomfortable.” She winced as she said the last part.

Chloe’s blood was about boiling in her veins. Being Adrien’s friend had given her a front-row seat to quite a few cases of stalking and sexual harassment. Chat Noir was a superhero, dammit. If Ladybug should have felt safe with anyone, it should be her partner.

Chloe softly rested her hands on Ladybug’s cheeks and held her face up so that she could look her in the eyes. “Listen to me. I know that you want to make excuses for him, but I want you to know that what he is doing to you is wrong. It is harassment and emotional manipulation. He’s holding your sense of responsibility to the city hostage to cater to his own ego and desires and that is not right. God, I don’t know how you can go about fixing that, but I want you to know that you shouldn’t have to put up with that shit ever.”

Ladybug’s eyes were blown wide in shock. “But he --”

“Shh. I want you to really think about how he’s been treating you. It sounds like you care about your friends a lot. What would you do if he’d been behaving this way towards Rena?”

Ladybug was still for a long moment and then let loose a watery chuckle and shook her head. “I’d probably kick his ass.”

Chloe smiled ruefully, “There you go then. Now, you said that you had to recharge. There’s a bathroom just down the hall. Go feed your kwami, I bet she’s worried about you.”

Ladybug nodded and grabbed the plate of cookies, slowly making her way down the hall.

Chloe sagged back into the couch and watched her, rage and sadness at what had happened to Ladybug and quiet awe and relief that she had somehow managed to help, to say the right thing as herself for once. She let her own tears fall and prayed for the first time in years for the strength to be able to continue to help Ladybug and to be somehow able to rescue her heroine as Ladybug had rescued her from herself.

_____________________________________________________________________

To all those who asked to be tagged in this, here you are. Thank you so much for your interest and support. I hope that it lives up to your expectations! (And I’m sorry if I missed anyone!)

@demydreamer-otaku-and-book-lover @anastasian-dreamer @donegonewrong @twinkletoes-rp

#reine ruse #reine ruse au #Fox!chloe #chloe bourgeois #marinette dupain cheng #chloenette #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug au #ml salt

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laws-hat-headcanons · 4 years

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10 + 10

I realised after I had posted this that I did it on a reblog that was already pretty long... so I have now done a separate post to try and make it smaller! Sorry!

I was tagged twice to do this and was writing out my answers when Coop tagged me AGAIN!! So I am sorry to all of you, this is long and you're going to learn more about me than you probably wanted to!!

Answer 10 questions then add 10 of your own:

@lucynnamonroll thank you for the first Tag flower!

1. A dream that you still remember?

I dreamt once that someone was chasing me and my dog and they bit me, took a big chunk out of my arm. And then my dog gave me this big blue fruit and my arm grew back. My dreams are always very strange.

2. What job did you want to do when you were younger?

I wanted to be a vet but I am way too emotional around poorly animals and also not smart enough to learn how to treat them haha!

3. And now? Did it has changed?

Yeah, I don't think I was ever cut out to be a vet. I'd like to work with animals though, maybe kennels or something? Zoo Keeper would be cool.

4. A favorite game?

I'm gonna take this as video game... There are a lot. I love Mass Effect and Dragon age, Gears of War... but Horizon Zero Dawn was amazing. I loved every single thing about it. Beautiful game, great story – just.. chefs kiss

5. Where did you have traveled? (Either it’s in your country or not)

I've been a few places- France, Spain, Somewhere else hot but I can't recall where... Ireland, Scotland. I was supposed to have gone to Bulgaria at the beginning of May but Coronavirus done fucked me over.

6. Did you have a totem animal/a favorite animal?

Ever since I was about 6 wolves have been my favourite animals. I originally started drawing so I could create a wolf fursona …. siiigghhh

7. Did you/Do you have a teddy bear to help you to sleep? How it was looking?

Yes, a little dog called Custard. He is a beige colour with brown ears but is still in pretty good condition. He sits on my desk chair when I'm not using it.

8. THE animated (or not) serie of your childhood/teenage years?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES – heroes in a half shell, turtle power!! I was also hella into Dragon Ball Z on Toonami when I was a kid. I remember we went to see some family up north and they didn't have Toonami and I cried because it was mid way through the Buu arc and I was gonna miss it.

9. Do you have anime/series/movie/whatever things merch?

I have a few bits. A Hatake Kakashi figure, one for Katakuri and Zoro. A heart Pirates hoodie. I think I have Kid's wanted poster somewhere...

10. How was your day?

Oh. It was a day. I slept through most of it. My energy/motivation levels are pretty low at the moment. But it was sunny, so that was nice.

@luffytarhoe thank you for my second tag!! 💙

1- What’s your favorite show/anime of the moment ?

I don't watch a huge amount of anime despite the focus of this blog. So probably One piece on that front. Otherwise I am watching Outlander atm, which is pretty good but there is sooooo much sex. An ungodly amount of sex.

2- What type of music are you into?

My music tastes are quite varied. I like stuff that you can listen to and put into a situation, so usually sad stuff where I can imagine I am the main character weeping over the bodies of my fallen comrades. Also Goo Goo Dolls!

3- If you could have one superpower , what would it be ?

Probability, or luck. Like Domino in Deadpool. That's always been such a cool concept to me.

4- What’s your favorite color ?

Blue and all it's hues. Maybe teal if I had to get specific.

5- Do you prefer animated or live action shows/series ?

I am happy with both. Though some animated shows should stay animated – looking at you ATLA...

6- Do you believe in ghosts ?

I believe that energy never disappears, only changes forms and I don't think that's any different for whatever happens to people energy once we die. I'm a big wimp though so it's easier for me not to believe in them!

7- Do you speak any foreign language(s) ? if yes which ones ?

No, sadly I never had a talent for languages. I'd love to speak Gaelic though.

8- Your n°1 fictional character ?

Probably Stone from the Raksura book series. He's just a fun grumpy old shapeshifting man.

9- Would you say you’re more of an extrovert or an introvert?

Definitely an introvert. I like me time. And all my hobbies are single person hobbies so that doesn't help haha.

10- What was the best vacation you ever took and why?

I haven't been on holiday in over 10 years but we went to a zoo in Spain once and a Monkey sat on my head. That was pretty rad.

@doctorgerth and finally, thank you for my 3rd tag!!

1. What are your zodiac signs (sun, moon, rising, if you know them) and do you think they fit you pretty well?

I am an Aries and that is pretty much the extent of my knowledge on the subject. Aries are meant to be pretty hot headed and outgoing and I can only really claim to be one of those thing and only when I need to be. So no, I'm not sure it fits me.

2. What is your favorite clothing item and/or accessory?

I don't reallllly care a lot about clothes and or stuff. So I guess either my glasses because I need them to see long distances (and to drive) or my phone if that counts as an accessory because that has all my crap on it.

3. Any future children or pet names?

Noooooooooooooo and no

4. If you could meet anyone (can be past, present, future, real, or fictional) who would it be?

I would have liked to have met Steve Irwin I think. He seemed pretty chill and I grew up watching Crocodile Hunter on TV so he was a big hero of mine for a long time. Also the Rock or Jason Mamoa because of reasons....

5. Brag on yourself! What’s something you love about yourself?

I am passably amusing and guess I write okay too haha

6. What is a movie or show that you could rewatch a million times and never get tired of?

The film Evolution is endlessly funny to me and it makes me laugh every time I watch it. I used to have it on VHS and I kept a video player in the house to watch it until my cousin got it for me on DVD (Yes I am old.)

7. What is your favorite album of all time?

I haven't listened to it in a long time but I really loved Maroon 5 – Songs about Jane.

8. Do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens? If you have stories to back up, plz share.

I want to belllieeveeeeee! Ghosts, yes, hesitantly but I think I answered that in a previous one. Aliens 100% because I refuse to believe that we are the only sentient life the universe. It's just... statistically impossible.

9. What do you do/who do you look to for inspiration?

I guess human being wise my mum is my inspiration for a lot of things? She's just a lovely person and she's very kind and sweet. I am very aware that we are not much alike, but I look to her as the sort of example of a good person. Creativity wise it's just a clusterfuck of books and badly organised pinterest boards.

10. What is your happiest memory?

Practically anything that has my nephews in it I guess. They're just... hilariously weird little dudes and I love them so much. They always make me laugh.

And here are my questions!!

1. What is your favourite book?

2. What is you most loved item and why?

3. If you got the chance to travel to another planet (knowing you would never see your friends or family again) would you do it?

4. One song that makes you cry?

5. Do you believe in supernatural stuff? Ghosts and Monsters and Fairies? Any experiences with it?

6. What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever witnessed or had happen to you?

7. What one thing would you buy if you had the money?

8. What is your worst habit/personality trait?

9. If you could alter your body with one cool feature, what would it be? (camera eyes, monkey tail, etc)

10. Do you have the patience to play a full game of Monopoly with no breaks?

I'll tag @pinkhatlizzy @nakunakunomi @lirulee @one-piece-dumpster-fire and anyone else who wants to answer my dumb questions!! Tag me because if you decide to do it so I can see your answers 💙

#hat talks #tag game

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arlingtonpark · 4 years

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SNK 127 Review

0/10 This chapter sucks. Continuity is dead.

In my last post I said if we got flashbacks, it’d be damage control for the last chapter. I was right.

The first couple of scenes in this chapter are clear attempts to clean up the last one’s mess. We never saw Jean and Mikasa make contact with Hange, and here, we do.

Honestly, I think this could’ve been handled better.

Jean had something of an arc in chapter 126, where it seemed like he genuinely had chosen to follow Floch, only it turns out he was working with Hange all along. So I get why these scenes are presented out of order. It’s an attempt at dramatic tension.

It fails, though, because not enough time was devoted to showing Jean working with Floch. Jean stood next to Floch in some scenes. That’s it.

Let this be a lesson to aspiring writers everywhere. If you want to do a story arc, or even just a mini-arc, make sure you have the time for it. If you can’t spare the time to do it justice, it’s better to just cut it completely.

Hange’s character is much better served this chapter. I forgot to mention this last time, but Hange’s character was screwed over pretty hard last time.

Her arc has been about growing into her new role as commander. She failed to constrain Eren, and Floch, and everything’s gone to shit in general, and she doubts her own leadership.

Then, after escaping the Yeagerists with Levi, Hange considers just walking away and living out in the woods.

They chose not to.

This is a major turning point for her character. She’s beaten down and has a chance to walk away, but she gets back up.

This major plot beat has maybe a few panels devoted to it. At most.

We don’t see the choice get made. In fact, it’s kind of implied that Hange didn’t consciously make that choice at all. Hange is building a cart to lug Levi around, and he notes that Hange’s doing that because they can’t stay on the sidelines.

Was Hange building the cart because they’d already decided they weren’t quitting?

Or were they going to use that cart to carry Levi to the eventual site of their woodland hut?

Was Levi just pointing out that Hange is doing what they’ve always done?

Or did what he say convince them in some way?

Who knows, because chapter 126 is still a rushed mess on every level.

Whatever Hange’s motivations or line of thinking, it should have been shown during the scene in the woods, when it happened, not in this flashback to a completely different scene.

Character development happens when characters make revealing choices. Showing the character’s motivation separately from the resultant action dilutes the poignancy of that character development.

It’s actually worse than that because not only was Hange’s thought process shown after the fact for no reason, the moment the choice itself was made is not shown at all.

The moment where Hange is surrounded by the ghosts of her fallen comrades would’ve been sooooo much better if it had been in the forest with Levi. It should have been in the forest with Levi.

Hange already chose what they were going to do, so there is no gravitas to this moment. It’s just exposition. This could have been a powerful moment. Instead, it’s just Hange monologuing about their motivation.

When the same happened with Erwin, we saw his struggle as it was happening. We were in the moment, so we felt the weight of Erwin’s struggle. He was bearing out his feelings, agonizing over having to throw his life away unfulfilled.

In 127, Hange is sitting in a chair, explaining her thinking, agonizing over nothing because she’s already decided to throw her life away, and is apparently already at peace with it.

This is what damage control looks like. Isayama fucked up and he’s trying to make up for it.

And even then, we still don’t have the explanations we badly need.

Why did Annie choose to help? She’s not doing this because it’s the right thing to do, she just wants to see her father again.

How did they convince her that they could deliver on that?

It’s the same with Pieck and Magath. They didn’t want to just do nothing, but what convinced them that this was better than doing nothing?

Mikasa asked Hange what the plan was, and their response was basically, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

So in other words, they have no plan!

Jean raises a good point about stopping Eren: it’s a death sentence for them. Hange’s only retort is that it’s the right thing to do, so they have to do it. This is great.

Genocide is inherently wrong, thus the answer to genocide is not more genocide. With this many lives involved, tit-for-tat is not acceptable.

In some cases, there may have to be retaliation, but there are always limits. These moral limits have a general applicability to them. Of course there are exceptions, but they apply in almost all cases.

I love how Hange explicitly rejects Eren’s dumbass egoist worldview.

“‘Just bringing freedom to this island is enough for me’ Do you think a single one of them would be so narrow-minded as to say that?”

Eren doesn’t just care about Paradis. He doesn’t care about the outside world.

He seemed torn about whether to rumble the world. And he did cry over having to potentially rumble the refuge camp.

Gather around, children, because I have some very mean things to say about Eren here: let me tell you something about crocodile tears.

Crocodile tears are when you feel sad for something, except it’s fake, because deep down, you don’t care. The expression comes from an ancient legend that crocodiles cry for their prey while eating them.

Eren agonized a lot in the lead up to making his decision.

-rolls eyes-

What a drama queen!

Rumble the world, or not? If you have to take time to decide which is right, you’ve already failed.

Eren never truly cared about the outside world. He’s just doing this to bring freedom to Paradis; the lives of everyone else is a nonfactor.

It’s great to see Eren finally getting the dragging he deserves. He is, in fact, a narrow-minded ass.

Jean’s point still stands, though. And even though Eren is obviously indefensible, people still keep making excuses for him.

Hange says their “cowardly idealism” is what pushed Eren to do this. Note that this is the second time they’ve said this.

Uh, what?

Was making reasonable overtures of peace to the outside world cowardly?

Obviously not.

Establishing relations with other countries? That sounds reasonable.

Making contact with pro-Eldian advocacy groups? That sounds reasonable.

What about this is cowardly?

And what’s so idealistic about hoping for peace when there are possible paths to it?

Hange did nothing wrong. Eren is the one who did everything wrong.

Eren’s friends were actually working on a solution. They were trying to make a lasting peace between the Eldians and the world.

Meanwhile Eren was just bumming around not doing anything!

Could there have been a peaceful solution?

Beats me, but I’m not going to spend any thought on coming up with one.

By now, I think it’s clear that the point is that there is no peaceful solution. We saw Paradis try and fail repeatedly. The story in general has not even entertained a possible, peaceful solution.

Creating a Wall Titan “nuclear umbrella” over Paradis won’t work. Eren will be dead in a few years, and they don’t want to continue the Reiss’s gruesome traditions.

Armin’s idea of a targeted rumbling won’t work either because it’ll only increase the world’s resentment towards Paradis.

The point is that sometimes peace isn’t possible, but also that excessive violence isn’t justified. I don’t know how the story will end, but I don’t think it’ll be a happy one.

It’s always uncomfortable whenever the series talks about history and playing the victim. It’s such an obvious commentary on Japanese politics, I cringe every time.

Past Japanese war crimes are a very big factor in Japan’s relations with its neighbors. China and the Koreas are still indignant over the crimes Japan committed, and they feel the Japanese haven’t been apologetic enough.

Paradis is obviously a mirror of Japan.

Island nation with a sordid past that leads to rocky international relations even today. That’s Paradis and Japan.

The series’ stance is that these past events should not be such an issue anymore.

That’s not wrong…but I have a reservation.

The biggest flaw with the Paradis-Japan connection is that the Eldian Empire ended thousands of years ago.

The Japanese Empire ended 75 years ago. That’s not much.

China does overplay the war crimes issue, but there are still real issues with how the Japanese have responded. Many Japanese people are still taught a cleaned up version of what happened.

If anything, China should be called out on abusing the issue of war crimes for political reasons. Their government uses it as propaganda to rally popular support and distract from domestic issues.

In Attack on Titan, the Marleyans are not called out for that. They’re called out for playing victim over something that happened 2000 years ago.

The Marleyans, used by the story as a clear parallel to Japan’s neighbors, are portrayed as in the wrong because “it was a long time ago.”

Let me tell ya, that’s not a good look. What we see in the story is just close enough to reality to draw comparisons, but just different enough to be arguably offensive.

I will say it’s nice to know what Isayama thinks on a given issue. Annie calls out Mikasa and Armin on not being prepared to kill Eren if they have to. She aks how they know he’ll even listen to them.

Armin: we won’t know until we try.

Brilliant.

You can tell who’s side Isayama is on whenever the characters argue because the side he’s against will be the one with the dumb platitudes.

Mikasa: How are you going to stop Eren?

Hange: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Annie: How do you know talking will work?

Armin: We won’t know until we try.

Then…stuff happens.

Annie claims Mikasa will fight her if Annie tries to kill Eren, even if Annie’s just trying to defend her homeland.

Then Mikasa draws her swords for no reason, and Annie looks like she’s about to titan shift for no reason, then…Annie backs off for no reason.

There were definitely some plot beats missing here. Annie instantly goes from getting ready to shift to backing off. What happened?

And why did she back off? Her point still stands. She said Mikasa would fight her if she tried to kill Eren and Mikasa did not deny it.

The only plans of attack discussed have been (1) talking Eren down, and (2) killing him. It looks like they’re going with plan (1) now, but Mikasa is clearly not going to let Annie go through with plan (2) if (1) fails.

That’s a pretty important issue. And Annie raised it herself, only to just drop it for no reason.

Why does Annie think her time is better spent here than on a boat heading to the mainland?

Getting to her father in time to die with him sounds a lot likelier than stopping Eren, especially when killing him isn’t an option.

And then we come to Yelena.

You know, actually, this chapter has a lot of the same problems the last one did. Lots and lots of rushed plot beats that should have been fleshed out more.

One of the dumbest tropes in fiction is when a character looks into another character’s past off screen, learns sordid things about them, then exposition dumps about it.

Oh, look, this chapter exists.

This is lazy, lazy writing. Instead of a flashback montage with narration, we get some word balloons.

Why is this happening? Anything would have been better than this. There could have been a few more pages devoted to this. He at least could have come up with a better way to deliver this information.

Is Isayama just that dead set on finishing this manga before 2021?

Then Yelena delivers a monologue of her own. I can only assume that it is stupid on purpose.

Speeches like this have been given before in Attack on Titan. Annie gave one in her arc.

“You think you’re better than me?! Well you’re not! You’re a shithead just like me!”

-Annie, basically.

Kenny gave a similar one too. He said that everyone is a slave to something, even mother’s to their children. Then he asked Levi if he really thinks he’s so virtuous and then he died.

I mean, I don’t know what you’d call someone who, all else being equal, fought for the sake of their children if not a “hero”.

Yelena’s speech is dumb and that’s the point. It’s drivel that sounds smart, but is really just edgelord crap.

“You give yourselves to the sublime excitement that is the idea of saving hundreds of millions of lives.”

Christ, not this again!

Claiming good deeds aren’t really good because people do them to feel better about themselves is very common on the internet. You see it all the time on Reddit.

In fact, Yelena even says it like she’s trying to sound smart.

“The sublime excitement.”

-SIGH-

The problem with this reasoning is that it’s moving the goalposts. Yelena is redefining altruism and selfishness to get the result she wants.

You could think of many examples of people doing things that are obviously selfless.

Take a soldier. Let’s say their platoon is on patrol, and then the enemy tosses a grenade at them. The soldier dives on top of the grenade and shields his platoon from the explosion. But obviously, he dies.

That was selfless.

-puts on crazy, blonde, mop-top-

HOWEVER!

WHAT IF SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO BE REMEMBERED AS A HERO?

DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT!?

Shut up I know this actually did happen in this manga that’s not the point.

Yelena has redefined selfishness to cover everything people do, and at that point, the word becomes useless. She’s wrong because when you think about it, “selfish” is a meaningless word in her worldview.

Yelena then proceeds to list off all the bad things everyone’s done, as if they’re all to blame for it.

Annie did awful things, I won’t argue against that. And she doesn’t seem very apologetic about it, so Yelena actually has a point there.

She also has a good point with Armin. Destroying the port was excessive, especially since it never ended up helping in the end. The port was destroyed to delay a Marleyan attack. Too bad the Marleyans just attacked via airship instead.

Reiner broke the wall, but despite what the man himself says, he was still just a brainwashed kid at the time. I don’t think it’s entirely right to blame him. He’s very apologetic about it, either way.

The Battle of Liberio never should have happened, but the Survey Corps was forced into it by Eren and they did what they could to limit civilian casualties.

It’s the same with Jean and Falco. Jean almost killed Falco, but only because Falco got in the way. That’s on him. Not. Jean.

Gabi killed Sasha, but it was a battle! Wars are ultimately fought to the death. If you go into the military and don’t expect to die, you’re clueless. There was no foul play with how Gabi killed Sasha. She boarded their airship, and shot her. That’s war.

She wants to believe that these people are just as bad as she is. Because if everyone is a piece of shit, then she isn’t so bad in comparison. It’s a common tactic people use to rationalize their own shitty behavior.

But she’s wrong, and they all prove her wrong. Jean can’t forgive Reiner, but he doesn’t let that get in the way of stopping Eren.

And no matter what Yelena says, it’s selfless what the 104th and Hange are doing. Long term, stopping Eren is a death sentence for them. They don’t care.

Leave it to Reiner to give the most Reiner response to Jean possible.

“I felt really bad about it afterwards.”

“Don’t forgive me. I don’t deserve it.”

“I’m sorry.”

That was the cringiest thing in the whole chapter. Good on you, Jean, for beating him for it.

(Not really)

This chapter was about everyone coming to terms with working together, but I feel it was half-baked.

Magath and Jean’s fight wasn’t really resolved, just dropped.

Annie and Mikasa’s fight was also just dropped.

None of the bad things Yelena brought up was commented on or dealt with. They weren’t dropped; they weren’t even taken up!

Reiner and Jean’s fight was properly dealt with, but that was it.

Now we’re heading into a fight with Floch and……I guess the emotional processing is over?

You know, I take it back, this chapter was better than the last one, but it still had a lot of the same blatant issues.

Rushed plot beats, unwieldy dialogue, and undercooked plot developments.

So.

On to the next chapter?

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk 127 #snk chapter 127 #spoilers

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