#I see my therapist tomorrow so at least I get to vent all of this out

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen help their s/o destress after a long week

requested by @etherealyoungk : "hi hi! came running as soon as i saw your requests were open! can i maybe request how seventeen would help you destress after a long and busy week?"

notes: to mark the end of what has been a tiring week (for us all, i think) here's a lil reaction thing for you all ^^

masterlist

seungcheol

helps you destress through physical touch. you tell him that your week has been kind of bad, and he's already dropping everything and not letting go of you the entire evening. gets a little upset that you didn't tell him sooner, but ultimately he's just focused on making you feel better through the comfort of being wrapped in his arms. plays with your hair, kisses your cheeks, rubs your back soothingly and helps you drift off to sleep in his embrace

jeonghan

sleeps. no, literally, he genuinely makes you sleep. he can see how exhausted you are from such a gruelling week, and before you can protest about pending work or having to catch up on things, he's dragging you to bed and throwing an arm around your waist and trapping you in the covers and his warmth, telling you that you will sleep right this second and will not wake up tomorrow before him. whispers a gentle 'i love you' right as you relax into him and close your eyes

joshua

sets up a bubble bath for you <3 this is mostly me pushing my 'bubble bath-lover shua' agenda but also it's just so him. uses those scented bubbles and puts lavender candles (carefully) around the bathroom, providing the most relaxing ambience you could ever imagine. washes your hair for you if you ask, fingers massaging your scalp so carefully, smiling down at you and you just feel so warm and loved

junhui

holds you as you cry. as you're trying to explain how shitty your week has been, your eyes start welling up and he's looking at you in surprise as you start crying, but without uttering a word he's by your side, hugging you to him, making soft shushing noises and procuring tissues seemingly out of nowhere for you to be able to blow your nose. he doesn't ask what happened exactly, and just focuses on holding you, hugging you, keeping you safe

hoshi

just… does everything for you. makes dinner, does the dishes, lays out your pyjamas and ushers you into the shower and acts as your personal comforter as you're snuggled up in bed at the end of the night. tells you very quietly and very sincerely that he loves you, that you're doing well, and that you're always, always going to be able to come to him with concerns just like you've done today, and he'll do anything in his power to help you feel better

wonwoo

talks it through with you. not in a venting way where you just dump all the events on him, not in a way where he plays your therapist. you go through your week together, picking it apart, talking about it, as he occasionally leans over to kiss your cheek or stroke your hair, smiling and telling you that it's okay, that you did a good job, that it's totally fine to have terrible weeks but he'll be right by your side to help you through them

woozi

he's not really very good with dealing with things like this, and he wishes he was, but all he can offer is something to take your mind off it in the only way he knows how: invites you into his studio, quietly explaining what he's doing at the moment as you sit beside him, watching him work on his compositions. he's unsure that it's actually helping you destress, but as you smile and lean forward as he explains something, he hopes that he's at least managed to make you feel a little better. 

minghao

nods, incredibly seriously, and asks if you want to talk about it. he'll help you destress in the way that you want to be destressed, whether that's through talking about it, wanting advice about it, calming your mind, being distracted or simply going to sleep. he'll do everything for you, everything at all, so long as you get to breathe normally again and smile that beautiful smile he loves so so much

mingyu

gives you a massage. he's honestly not really the best, but after long days and exhausting workout sessions he loves having his own muscles kneaded, so he does the same for you. it's a little clumsy, him being reluctant to accidentally hurt you, but he eventually gets the hang of it and you end the day feeling incredibly relaxed. quite literally, shoulders and arms feeling a lot like jelly

dokyeom

lets you scream out your frustration. you know that karaoke mic that he has which has really weird feedback settings and is super echoey? yeah, he's busting that out and handing it to you, playing songs on his bluetooth speaker or simply letting you yell down the mic like it's a megaphone. you keep waking up the neighbours, and yeah your voice will hurt tomorrow, but he makes you smile and really that's all that matters

seungkwan

has a full on spa-night kinda thing with you. gets out the entire selfcare routine, face masks and foot baths and all, and yeah you might complain a little at the beginning bc you're really tired, but seungkwan insists and he takes such good care of you. has a really deep talk about self-worth while you have cucumbers over your eyes, almost makes you cry as he's patting moisturiser into your face, and you go to bed feeling spiritually and physically cleansed

vernon

he helps distract you from whatever you may be stressed over. you don't even have to tell him what's up, just let him know that you've had a bad day and he'll pull out a board game or card game or pull you onto the sofa to binge watch his favourite movies. sure, maybe his way of helping you destress involves you ruining your eyes by staring at a screen at 2am, but it helps nonetheless

chan

you tell him you've had such a terrible week and his face goes all sad before he's opening his arms with a 'come at me' gesture, inviting you to vent. you can tell him about anything and everything at all, from the things that happened that week to some half-formed memory from back when you were five years old, and he'll just sit there and listen intently, until the words stop flowing and you look and feel so much more relieved

request guidelines

reactions tags: @jeonginssa @hanranghae17 @magicaltonaru @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @turningcarat @nakedgrapes @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @iheartyujin @summery-bat @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @ejspencer14 @cinnamoroxie @wonranghaeee @saythename-chess @yonabutnotyuna @youthoughtiwasfeelingyou @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @butiluvu @sunshinekyeom-sang @ocyeanicc @zozojella @thesmellofcoffeeandrain @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @nananacomeonnnn @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @hansolaria @gam3bo1z @marisblogg @evasaysstuff

#fairyhaos.works #seventeen #svt #seventeen fic #seventeen drabble #seventeen headcanons #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #svt fluff #scoups #seungcheol #jeonghan #joshua #hong jisoo #junhui #hoshi #wonwoo #woozi #jihoon #minghao #the8 #mingyu #dokyeom #seokmin #seungkwan #hansol #vernon #dino

[howlingday]

Weiss has a problem she wants to ask juane out but a mix of how much she rejected him at beacon and his own self hatred lead him to believe there is no possible way she likes him it’s gotten to the point she considers making a Machine just to strangle her past self 

Weiss: I wish I could.

Yang: What's stopping you?

Weiss: Rejection.

Blake: Like that's stopped you before.

Weiss: This is different!

Ruby: Only because you're asking him out.

Blake: Preferably not the same way.

Yang: I dunno. I kinda wanna see Weiss do a song and dance for him.

Weiss: I am not making ass out of myself for your benefit!

Yang: It's not my benefit; it's his benefit! ...And also mine.

Weiss: Well, forget it!

Blake: Weiss, after all you've both been through, it's only natural for you two to develop feelings for each other. The only way to confirm your feelings is to take the first step.

Weiss: (Sighs) I hate when you're right.

---------------------------------------------------

Weiss: Hello, Jaune.

Jaune: Hm? Hey, Weiss. What's up?

Weiss: I was wondering... if you could... (Deep breath) I was wondering if you could accompany me tonight?

Jaune: Tonight?

Weiss: If that is possible, yes.

Jaune: Uh, I don't know about tonight. My team is going out patrolling.

Weiss: Tomorrow night?

Jaune: It's an all weekend patrol.

Weiss: Monday night.

Jaune: I kind of want to relax and take a night in-

Weiss: Enough! I will not allow this rejection to be pussy-footed around! I had the decency to give you a straight answer when I rejected you, so the least you could do is reciprocate in kind!

Jaune: Uh, Weiss-?

Weiss: I get it! I'm short!

Jaune: Huh?

Weiss: I'm short, and bossy, and I lack the curves or innocent nature men look for, but I deserve love, too, don't I?!

Jaune: (Sits back)

Weiss: I'm a spoiled brat who thinks she can get whatever she asks for, and I lack any redeeming qualities! I'm stubborn, and spiteful, and short, but... but... but... I've been raving like a lunatic this entire time, haven't I?

Jaune: I prefer to think of it as venting, but it doesn't change my answer.

Weiss: Ugh... Are you really so petty?

Jaune: I'm not being petty. Why would I be petty?

Weiss: Because I rejected you all those years ago!

Jaune: Oh... Yeah, well, to be fair, those were really bad ideas I had.

Weiss: I know.

Jaune: I've accepted who I was. Do you not accept who you were?

Weiss: What do you mean?

Jaune: Weiss, people change. This includes how we act, and that's a part of growing up. Even as adult, we continue to grow, and we never stop growing.

Weiss: Wow, that... was very insightful.

Jaune: It's what my therapist said.

Weiss: You go to therapy?

Jaune: (Nods) Tuesday nights.

Weiss: Ugh...

Jaune: ...But I am free Wednesday night, though.

Weiss: Wednesday it is.

Jaune: It's a date.

#rwby #weiss schnee #white knight #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #ruby rose #jaune arc

[yatonokey]

Can I have an ace x reader scenario where he's comforting reader after a nightmare? :)

– 🔥🪰

Anything for you Firefly. Personally I do not think Ace would be good at comforting, but he sure would try.

———————————————————————

You almost felt like it would’ve been real. Like you had somehow lost all of your friends all in one go with no explanation of why. Just that people acted like you had done something horribly wrong.

Calming down enough to think more clearly - though not my much - you glanced at your phone’s contacts, scrolling until you got to a familiar name.

Ace Trappola. Probably not the best person to call first in retrospect, but you at least wanted to hear your crush’s voice in these trying times. The phone rang for a ridiculous amount of time, you were close to hanging up, but at the last second you heard his annoyed voice over the phone.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Ace grumbled and you paused for a second. Maybe this was a bad idea? Deciding it was your nervously laughed.

“Ahaha, I guess not. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said, though in your attempt to sound cheery it came off as forced. The other end of the line was dead silent before Ace mumbled something inaudible and hung up.

You slumped from your spot and curled up in a ball. Of course that’s how it would go. Maybe your dream was right after all. For a while your thoughts spiraled further and further how maybe your mind was speaking facts, but the knock on your door after fifteen minutes jolted you out of your thoughts.

“Um, who’s there?” You said, your voice weak.

“Clearly Ace. I told you I’d be over soon, didn’t I?” The person behind the door answered and you scrambled to open it.

Sure enough Ace was on the other side. His hair was messy, and the sweatpants he wore didn’t match his jacket - a literal school blazer - which he probably haphazardly put on in the rush to get to ramshackle. He seemed about to say something, but halted when he noticed your expression.

“Shit. You are crying. So who do I have to teach a lesson,” Ace said and you felt yourself become flustered.

“Huh? No no no! It’s my own brain…” you trailed off and he paused, hand on his chin.

“Alright so what’s the issue?” Ace asked much to your surprise. Before you could deny his offer to vent he cut you off. “Don’t even think about bottling this up. You play therapist for literally everyone at this school. Take a break, alright?”

You sighed and began explaining the nightmare you had while sitting on your bed beside Ace. Eventually you finished and his first response caused you to be shellshocked.

“That’s stupid.”

“Excuse me?” You were offended and rightfully so.

“No. I mean - ah shit I’m bad at this. What I mean to say is that it would be stupid to leave someone as wonderful as you,” Ace said and you could have sworn the tips of his ears were red. He looked uncharacteristically shy, probably not used to dishing out compliments.

But that’s what made his words feel genuine. Ace was many things, but a liar wasn’t one of them. He tells it like it is, whether you want to hear it or not.

Apart of you felt flattered, but you felt yourself deflate again the more you thought about it.

“Maybe that’s just you. Like, what about the others like Deuce?” You asked but Ace snorted.

“In what universe would Deuce hate you? You became his best friend at the very start.” He said and you felt yourself sigh.

“Thanks.”

“Anything for you,” Ace replied, his tone joking but you couldn’t help thinking that his words had weight to them. Suddenly he stood up. “I have to get back before Riddle notices I’m gone. But if you’re still feeling bad tomorrow I’ll buy you a snack.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” you replied before the two of you shared a smile.

#ace trapolla x reader #disney twst #no idea what to tag this

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3375

good news! i'm feeling a lot better!

more good news! i reapplied for healthcare through the government marketplace and i qualified for a discount!

more good news!! i have tomorrow off too!

so those were good things that happened today.

i also texted joel a little bit. i miss him. im gonna see him tomorrow.

my mom and i are also gonna make cookies before i go that direction tomorrow. sure i need gas and yeah i need to clean my room DESPERATELY, but cookies first. cookies, cleaning, packing, gas, joel's. actually getting some shit together to function. happy it's colder now so i can wear sweater dresses! so excited!!

oh also i got mad a minute ago because i was thinking about someone i know and how they claim they're more emotionally mature than most people they know, including me.

tw mental health from here on out. suffice it to say that said person is definitely incorrect and Needs Help.

they said that at least a year ago and it's still pissing me off because it's not true, but they're so deluded into thinking they have some sort of moral high ground because they have trauma? having trauma doesn't make you emotionally mature. it makes you traumatized. emotional maturity, in large part, is in what you do to take care of yourself when you are traumatized. it's in how you respond - not react - to adverse situations. it's in recognizing your feelings, finding out what they're there from, and coping with them in healthy ways. it's also in knowing when you need a therapist and not making excuses when you go to find one.

this person? none of that. they fly off the handle at the smallest inconvenience. constantly attempt to vent and break boundaries that i have long since set that they disrespect, also constantly. they do three minutes of looking into a therapist and then say "i don't know" and instead of - i don't know - trying to calm down and think it through, they just give up.

i'm familiar with personality disorders (minimally, i need to learn more about those) and i'm familiar with many other mental health issues which make it difficult to reach out for help, to calm down, to think things through. and i know it can be debilitating. (mental breaks, anybody? did i talk about that ever? because i had one of those lmao)

but it's less about the illnesses and disorders themselves and more that this person seems to prefer to wallow in misery than to do something about it or to change their situation. "learned helplessness" is what my therapist called it.

all of that combined especially with the habit of blowing things out of proportion, reacting wildly to things that should not cause such a reaction, and defying boundaries set in place make this specific situation taxing for me, and, i would hazard to add, toxic. so i do what i can to enforce my boundaries from my end, especially when this person doesn't respect them.

sigh.

thoughts? or advice? or materials to educate myself on things? all appreciated.

#tw mental health #molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #3000s #3300s #sunshine boy

[daydreamersdomain]

It’s funny how everything in my life flipped.

My grandma was all for me getting help because she thought I was sick or broken, but she shit on me everyday for coming out to her. She told me that I was wrong and I just needed the right man in my life. My mom is fine with my sexuality. She was so happy for me when I came out, but she refused to (and still does) believe that my grandma mistreated me for that. She told me I was wrong and that I was pushing my grandma to believe something she doesn’t. All I wanted was my grandma to accept me or at least shut the fuck up about it and let me get on with my day/life. My mom can accept my sexuality with open arms, but she can’t accept the fact that I was hurting. In her mind that hurt = attention. Immediately. Because they didn’t bother to check ALL of me and just my arms it was all for attention. Attention seeker. Manipulative. Aggressively dramatic.

Why? Why can’t I have both? I feel so jealous whenever I see children with mental health issues backed up and supported. Why do I feel the need to prove to this woman that I’m not the root of all my problems?

“You don’t have to prove anything to her, Braelyn!”

I KNOW I DONT BUT SHE’S MY MOM. I LIVE WITH HER. I HAVE HAD TO FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING BY MYSELF (with the guidance of my therapist). HOW TO POINT OUT MY TRIGGERS. HOW TO NOT BEAT PEOPLE INTO THE FUCKING GROUND AND TEAR SHIT UP WHENEVER IM IRRITATED OR ANGRY. SHE’S FELT THAT WAY BEFORE. ALL I WANTED WAS SOME MOTHERLY GUIDANCE ON MENTAL HEALTH.

I’m getting this all out right now because I’m officially moving tomorrow and I’ll finally have my own space. I want to leave all of this shitty history and resentment here because I’m better now. Whether my mom wants to acknowledge it or not: I’m not the Braelyn I used to be. I don’t throw and break things whenever my mom basically tells me I’m a terrible person. The most I do now is vent (like this, which is major progress) and beat up my pillow. I recognize that everything is going to be in grey with my mom. And I recognize that I still have to look out for myself too. It’s corny, but true for me.

#vent post

[worldwright]

Good evening !

Tired and I feel like me going downtown tomorrow will be exhausting, but it's for my own good, I'll see my therapist after a week and a half without her (it was rough urgh, there's a reason why I see her twice a week). Also, it means that I've got some time to buy a new bag or a plush. If I have the spoons to do so

Didn't write that much today (not even 100 words) but I hope I can finish this fic, because the other one I'll do after it (or abandon it) is a vent fic, and I don't want it to be my first fic of the year

Thanks to whoever ate leftovers today, my meal was bread :))) too tired to make anything, even pasta so that's good /s

January of this year is fucking too busy for my liking, and february isn't my month at all

But at least I'll see my partner this friday

Have a wonderful evening my friend !

good morning and happy new year!!

nice that u got some writing done, at least! as long as it's fun lol

hope you get a new plushie, that sounds nice :3333333

I did a Lot of shopping yesterday 😅😅 most of it is for apartment organizing tho so it's justified lmao

tryinggggggh to get out of bed, but I had a late night and I don't wanna go drive to Seattle and it's fun hanging out with my bestie and I'm COZYYYYY

hope you get good rest tonight, and good luck tomorrow!!!

#pen pal

[apopticghoul]

a wild vent post appeared!

tonight my parents gave me another “pep-talk” about going to school and how it’s not sustainable staying home anymore. i understand that i am missing out on stuff, i understand that it’s hard for them to know what to do with me, i understand that i have potential and that my predicted ATAR is high with not much effort, i understand that i was functioning last year and last term i was at least going to school for most days. i understand that sleeping to twelve is bad and that gaming at night is also bad. all this i understand, and they do too.

what they don’t seem to understand is that i’m painfully aware of every second i’m away from school. fully aware of how much i’m missing, and the guilt and self-hatred that comes along with not being able to set foot on campus without going into a suicidal spiral or a panic attack. they don’t seem to understand that i tried so hard at the start of this to keep up, and that i’ve eventually slowed to a stop because i cannot see myself graduating from such a school. they can’t see the pressure placed upon us by ourselves and our peers and how borderline impossible it was for me to survive these past years in this environment. they don’t see the toll this takes on my already shitty self esteem and mental health.

mum is even going so far as to blame it on my starting of T. and i understand how she came to the conclusion, last term i wasn’t on it and i was fine and now i am and I’m not fine, and i hate it because it’s not true. testosterone is not making me more depressed or anxious than i was. that’s a separate thing.

they said maybe they’re being too nice to me. maybe i need to be kicked in the ass, basically. im terrified they’ll force me to go tomorrow and im terrified of what i’ll do to myself or others if that happens.

and they say “sleeping all day, gaming all night”- and it irks me, because that’s not what’s happening under the surface. it might appear that way but it’s not. i get terrible sleep, i have always had bad sleep and i need more than others. any time i sleep that isn’t normal afternoon nap time i have nightmares that make me feel ill when i wake. so i grab as much sleep as possible in the hopes of having a bit thats undisturbed. and “gaming all night” - it helps me feel in control of myself, helps me calm down and quiet my mind, makes me tired enough to sleep when i do go to bed… i understand how it looks. i’m just afraid if i say any of this i’ll fuck it up and make a fool of myself. it’s happened before, and then they don’t believe me.

i can’t go back to that school. i hate it with every fibre of my being. everyone is so stuck-up and opinionated.. it’s like wading through the student embodiment of twitter. everything you say is wrong or cringe or something. my therapist agrees we need to get me out of there, but it’s just.. not possible until the end of the year and i despair. this has been bubbling for 5 years, why didn’t i say anything sooner?!!!

#shut up koi #vent post

[destructionanimal]

VENT POST. READ WITH CAUTION.

[tw: discussion of hopelessness, depression, self-hatred, pessimism. will add to if needed.]

okay not to be totally pessimistic about the future but does anybody else feel stuck right now? i’ve been sort of floating through life since 2019/2020 and it has set me back by a lot. i dropped out of school, don’t work, hardly go out. it’s not like i was doing really well before that, but i was at least doing something. now all i do is lay in bed, play video games, and talk to my online friends.

the pressure to be an actual person gets worse every day, even if it’s only a little. even if my mom doesn’t mention it during dinner. even if i spend most of that day asleep. even when i’m laughing with my friends in a discord call.

every day i disappoint myself and my family and every day i do it again. what happened to me? i never liked to work, but i still could. now i lay in bed most days or sit at my computer doing unproductive nonsense. is depression and anxiety supposed to feel like this? is it my adhd? did one of the medications i’m prescribed to treat those ailments make me worse? am i just fucking busted now?

it’s been like this for 3 years. 3 exhausting, humiliating, shameful years. and still i can’t find it in me to care or hate myself enough to try. to try and find a profitable passion, to get a job, to look into schools, to be somebody. anybody.

maybe i’m just lazy. i’m able bodied and, compared to most adults i know, pretty untraumatized. i pay no rent and eat food and spend all day doing recreational activities and i am absolutely miserable.

my mom wants me to be happy. she would let me pursue anything i wanted and support me no matter what. everything on the planet is in my fucking favor here, so why don’t i want this enough to try? why do i hate my life and still never work to change it?

i don’t know. after posting this i’ll start maladaptive daydreaming to escape this pain. tomorrow i might forget writing this. i’ll go on being pathetic and sad and nothing without a single clue about why.

i wish i could get a therapist. someone qualified to help me. i want someone to help me. nobody in my life deserves to hold this burden when i hardly hold it myself. at least if i was seeing a therapist i’d be paying them. my loved ones have their own problems to deal with.

i’m so tired. i can’t think these days. i don’t want to think. maybe i’ve been beating my confidence into the ground for so long that it’s grown roots. i don’t know if i can dig it up anymore. i don’t think i even want to.

maybe i’ll feel better tomorrow. then again, i said that last night too.

#vent post #personal vent #vent #depression #tw vent #tw depression #long read #tw pessimism #tw self hatred #tw hopelessness #orixn logs

[wingedbeings]

.

#hh im doing so bad currently for like no reason and ive been stuck isolating to the point where i barely even manage to vent here or even #just in my drafts??? #i dont know whats rlly going on with that honestly but its making things so much worse #I also cant see my therapist till like the second week of january #and i just aaa #not that she rlly does absolutely fuck all and the appointments dont actually help me but :// #at least she like drove me to the store #rn i rlly need some stuff from the store but just dont have the energy to go bc my family being around as much is requiring all my energy #i literally have no choice but to somehow get to the store tomorrow and I have no fucking clue how #the holidays are just so bad relating trauma stuff #and bc my mother and my stepfather are both off work for two whole weeks atm I also cant cope through just being asleep most of the days #bc im not allowed to #and its just so terrible rn aaa #my self destructive urges and suicidal ideation are so bad and while its still under control its just so hard to deal with #i keep getting such bad physical responses bc of my symptoms too and i hate it so much #i just want to sleep until all of this passes and i get the three days alone again #but i know my stepfather is going to have to like work less soon bc his job is being too much and idk how im going to handle even less time- #alone when on the days I have hes already home at like 4pm #i cant deal with them being around this much #its making me flare up so bad too regarding physical stuff bc i keep needing to force myself wayyy past my limits without any kind of #recovery period and i'm not getting anywhere near enough sleep and aaa everything is awful #hh this all sucks so fucking much I just need to get out of here already #but even when I will my mother has made it so I'll still be dependent on her for multiple years either way so (^: #bc I'm incapable of working and the government is just like ok but ur parents can pay for u #and yea we know theyre abusive and they don't actually pay for u but thats not our problem #so fuck me I guess (^: #moss.exe #suicidal ideation tw #self destructive urges tw #self destructive ideation tw

[gloriafc]

Baby

Slight greys anatomy mention

You're Eddie's daughter. You were the product of a teen pregnancy, the reason your parents got married. They had Christopher as an attempt to save their marriage and it worked for a little bit. When your mom left you were also graduating high school and ready to go off to college.

"Dad I don't have to go. I can take a year off. You need help with Christopher." "I can handle it mija. You go and become a doctor like you want. Make us proud okay?" And you do just that, the year you graduate med school is the same year he joins the 118. You take a trip to visit them and help them move before your internship starts, Christopher of course is very happy to see you without a screen separating you two and your dad is happy to see how much you've grown.

You start your internship in Seattle, becoming a surgeon at Seattle Grace.

When the fire station finds out about Christopher, no one finds out about you, your dad not knowing how to bring up that he has an adult daughter.

When the incident with the bomb in the or happens, your dad is worried about you resulting in him finally telling the firehouse about you. "Why didn't you ever say anything?" "I don't know. I don't put pictures up, there was never any reason. But now." "Now she's been injured."

They don't get the chance to meet you until the mass shooting, you've been shot twice in your side protecting others. Your dad is your emergency contact and gets the call while he's at work. He freezes as he listens to the doctor talk, "She's alive though right?" Everyone can hear the worry in his voice an immediately question him when he gets off the phone. Bobby immediately gives him time off as he and Christopher head to Seattle to visit you.

It kills Eddie to see you injured, you're his baby girl after all, but you hide your pain well around Christopher. After you get discharged you decide to head back to LA during your time off to heal and to be with your family. So you finally get to meet everyone. Of course Buck quickly becomes the protective uncle you never had, and you're happy to see that your dad has a friend like him.

Halfway through your visit is when your mom comes back, and you don't really know how to feel. You've always bumped heads with her, but it got worse when she'd fight with your dad, even worse when she decided to leave and never made it to any of your graduations. And now you're an adult who watched you're dad build up everything she tore down. She didn't know that you were staying with your dad and tried to hide her reaction when she saw you sitting on the couch with Christopher playing a game of cards.

You tried to keep things civil but you can only do so much on your part. You kept your responses short or hardly spoke unless spoken too, until one night you both finally snapped. There was nothing Eddie could do, he loved you both, but he knew this was something you both needed to work out. "Admit it mom. If you knew I was here you never would've come back, not yet at least." "Y/N-" "No! I bet you don't even know the reason why I'm here. Fuck you couldn't even show up to my graduations. You say you left for yourself but what about your kids? You said dad never made time because of work, but he did. He was there. Me and Christopher forgave him for the things he missed because he made up for it. And you were too busy being pissed that once you got the chance you dipped. You probably don't even know that I went to medical school. That I put in so much effort I graduated early. That I'm a surgeon and one of the ones at the top of my class. And you can't even be proud because I'm a mistake." No one knows how to respond so you continue, "Admit it. You never would've married dad if I wasn't born, if I wasn't a mistake."

You leave the house and as much as Eddie wants to go after you he knows you better than that, better than your mom. He stands in the kitchen doorway as your mom sits at the table with her head in her hands, "She's always been difficult." He can only look at her, "No she hasn't. She's hurt and she has every right to be. She's right she was a mistake, but I wouldn't have it any other way. But what about you? She's here because she was shot twice in a mass shooting protecting others from the shooter, but you didn't know that. You didn't know your daughters a hero. You probably didn't know that she was injured by a bomb either. But I did because I was the first person she called, because I am her father. I made up everything I missed for them because of how much I love them, they both understand that I made a sacrifice to keep us financially stable. They learned love comes with sacrifices from me. You had your reasons to leave and I know that but she's right, you had no reason to leave your kids behind, you could've sent them post cards or something. I had the decency to write letters while I was on yours. I'm so proud of her, of the things she's done. She tried to take a year off of school to help me with Christopher because I had no idea what I was doing, but I figured it out. She lives in Seattle but she still finds time to call and text so Christopher doesn't think he's the reason shes gone. She's sacrificed just as much as everyone else, so if you still think she's a mistake, then what did you think our marriage was? Why did you come back thinking she wouldn't be apart of things like she's not your daughter as well?"

Athena's the one to see you walking the street at night, recognizing you from one of the pictures Christopher showed her. "You're Eddie's daughter right?" "Uh yeah, Y/N." She sits with you, "Athena, Bobby's wife. Why are you out here so late?" You don't know why but you vent to her, "My uh. My mom came back. And we got into a fight." You explain everything to her and she offers her couch to sleep on seeing that you don't want to go home just yet.

In the morning Bobby is the one to drop you off, your dad opening the door when he hears the car in his driveway. You walk passed everyone not wanting to say anything, but your dad follows you to Christopher's room where all your stuff is. "Where'd you go?" "I met Athena she let me sleep on her couch. I already ate, Bobby made breakfast." "Mija-" "Dad I just want to take a shower. I'll probably catch a bus and head somewhere. I'll be back before dinner." He can only sigh as he looks at the floor as you rummage through your bags, "She might be staying." "That's your marriage dad, not mine. You work out what you need to work out. I'm going back to work in a couple days anyways. I'll have to deal with a therapist there. Everything will be fine." He moves and pulls you into his arms sighing as you wrap your arms around his waist and press your face into his chest like you did when you were little, "When did you grow up?" "When I got boobs." You both laugh before he kisses your head and tells you he's heading to work leaving you in a quiet house with your mom in the kitchen.

You quickly shower and head out before your mom can even say anything to you, getting back just as your dad arrives. You end up leaving a note for your dad and leaving in the middle of the night with all your stuff, catching a cab to the airport and catching a early flight back to Seattle. Of course Eddie is upset but he understands that you and your mom will just continue to bump heads and if you think it's what's best for yourself, who is he to argue, you're an adult.

Of course you text and video call all the time, sometimes catching him when he's at the fire station and he's just happy to see you're happy and healthy.

When the plane crash happens he finds it weird that he hasn't talked to you in a few days but brushes things off thinking you're just busy. The day you call, he's at the firehouse with Christopher for a family dinner, he happily answers the phone. "Hey baby! We're having dinner, do you want to talk to Christopher?" His smile quickly faulters when he hears your shaky voice, "Daddy." He quickly walks off after checking that your brother was with Buck, "What happened?" "There. There was an accident. We had a case. We. We had to fly to Idaho. The uh. The plane. The engines were faulty and the plane crashed. My. My right side was, uh. They have to do surgery to repair my right side from my ribs to my knee."

Eddie can feel tears threaten to fall just listening to how scared you are but you continue talking, "They did enough to fix everything but they're sending me to LA for the rest of the cosmetic surgeries and physical therapy while they work out everything with HR. I'm already at the airport with some medical staff, were getting on the plane." Your dad runs a hand down his face as he tries to stay calm, "Uh okay. Call me when you get here. I'll meet you at the airport in a few hours."

Your mom is the one to find your dad outside, "What's going on? Christopher's waiting for you to play the game with him and Buck." "I'm uh I'm going to the airport. Tell him to start the game and I'll play tomorrow." "What happened?" "Y/N was in a plane crash they're flying her here." "I'll go with you." "No. Just stay with Christopher. We don't. We don't need a recap of what happened last time. Not while she's like this. And I need to be alone. Before I see her, with her injuries."

Your dad waits for hours at the airport, the staff tell him where the airplane will land and offer to take him out when the plane lands so he can stay with you. You're out cold when he gets to you, "She started freaking out before the plane took off, which was understandable we sedated her to keep her under for the plane ride, she should be waking up soon."

Your dad sits by your side as you sleep. He counts and recounts all the IVs connected to you, quickly standing when he hears Christopher, "Dad what happened to Y/N?" He looks at your mom and the rest of the firehouse behind them, "What are you guys doing here?" Buck answers, "You left without saying bye. We figured you needed some support, that she needed some support after we heard what happened. She's family too." While everyone is distracted Christopher makes his way to the spot your dad was sitting in and grabs your hand. You're laying on your left side due to your injuries and Christopher can only wonder what happened to you. After a few minutes you open your eyes squeezing the small boys hand in yours, "You're awake Y/N/N." "Hi Christopher."

At the sound of your voice your dad is immediately at your side, "How are you feeling?" Your sarcastic side comes out, letting your dad know you're okay for now, "Like I fell out of a plane."

Of course everyone quickly learns how bad doctors are as patients, "The stitches are wrong." "They should've done this, it's faster." Buck easily jokes with you, "The doctors are probably ready to discharge you and your whining already." "They wouldn't be if they knew how to do their jobs right."

After you get discharged your dad takes you home. Everyone can see you're out of it, so someone is always with you, even your mom, but the conversations stay short but trying for your dad and brother. One day Athena offers to take you out to lunch. "How've you been feeling?" "I don't know." "Your dad's worried about you. Everyone is. You're putting on a brave face." You blink away tears, something that doesn't go unnoticed by Athena, "What's wrong?" You look around thankful you got a corner table and it was a slow day for the restaurant. You take a deep breath before looking at Athena, "I haven't told my dad yet, but a few days before the accident I found out I was pregnant. I'm not anymore... Obviously."

Athena sits with you, talking about the news that is no longer news for anyone, "Are you going to tell your dad?" "I don't know. I think. I think I'm still trying to process everything. The baby. A miscarriage. The crash. The fact that I was only a few seats away from getting crushed to death." Athena nods, "Do you know what's happening with everyone else that was on the plane?" "Uh yeah. The hospital is taking fault for using that airline service with known cases of faulty engines, were basically sueing the hospital for damages up to 15 million each. It'd shut down the hospital, but we all plan on purchasing it." "So you're going to own a hospital." "Part of it along with the others that were on the plane. So I'm not actually pocketing anything right now, but over time."

After a few more days you tell your dad about the miscarriage as you both sit on the porch, "Did you tell the dad?" "No. Uh we were never in a relationship. At least I don't think we were. It only happened once and we were both pretty drunk."

After another month you go back to work to finish off your residency. You apply for fellowships, but know which one you're going to accept. You never tell your dad, opting on surprising him randomly. You show up at the firehouse, your dad running over as soon as Hen points you out, "What are you doing here?" You smile, "I decided which fellowship I'm taking." It takes a second for it to click in his head, "The one here?" You don't get the chance to respond before your dad's picking you up in a bear hug. "Wait until Christopher finds out."

You jump into working, even though you live in your own house now your dad and brother are both excited to have you close again. After a few years, and after your mom's death, things fall into a normalcy. You get invited to any family dinners Bobby and Athena throw and you always find time to spend with your dad and brother.

You manage to become chief of trauma, you still have your board seat in Seattle and occasionally fly out sometimes taking Christopher and your dad for a getaway.

The first time anyone in the firehouse actually sees you in your natural habitat is when they have to bring in a druggie with a gsw. Athena is also there since the patient is the one who had the gun. Buck was grazed by a bullet so the firehouse was still in the ER while he got patched up, as Athena asks you about the patient. "I wouldn't try questioning him yet. He's still whining like a baby." "Can't you give him something for that?" "If I give him morphine I'd have to pump his stomach. And considering he knows the exact name of the morphine I'd have to use. I'm deciding against that. It's one bullet that was at the surface and has been removed. He can suck it up, I'm not gonna be the one to aide in his addiction."

All the beds are in the open with curtains as dividers so everyone can hear the man complaining and pulling against his restraints. The firehouse can hear everything go down when you declare he's ready to leave. "You gotta give me something for the pain." You simply look at him before shaking your head, "I really don't." "You bitch." You push the man back down on the bed making him since since his wound is on his shoulder, "You're the bitch in this situation. The pain you're feeling is from withdrawal from all the drugs in your system you idiot. You want something for the pain fine but that comes with your stomach getting pumped. Do you really want that considering you're over here bitching about a small bullet wound?" The man looks at you before seething, "You don't know the pain I'm in!" "Try me. Your bullet was at the surface and has been removed, the area was numbed with cream so you didn't even feel it. I've been shot twice in a mass shooting both bullets imbedded in muscle. I survived a bomb incident, a plane crash, and a miscarriage while stranded during that plane crash. So tell me I've never felt worse." When the man doesn't say anything you look at Athena, "Get him out of here."

Your dad looks at the spot you were standing, he's never heard the things you've been through ever leave your mouth like that. Bobby sets his hand on his shoulder, "She's tough Eddie. She's fine."

When a natural disaster occurs the hospital sends out surgeons to aid first responders for the people who wouldn't make it to the hospital otherwise, you're one of the few that get sent out due to your trauma certification being more than qualified. The firehouse is lightweight surprised to see you in the field working the tent. "You got sent out?" "You do realize I worked in a trauma one center right? My first year we had a ferry crash." Everyone is amazed with how fast and calmly you work, half of the patients you get wouldn't of survived even getting on an ambulance otherwise.

There is one patient who's stuck under a piece of cement inside a building but is in critical condition. Unfortunately you're the only one small enough to fit through the gap to get to him. "No! She's not going in there!" You can only look at your dad, "We have no choice. We can save him." Reluctantly your dad lets you go knowing you'd go anyways and he doesn't technically have a say in what you can and can't do. They give you your dad's jacket and helmet as a precaution before you slowly slip through the hole. You yell out when you reach the patient allowing the firehouse to continue trying to get the guy out.

You manage to move the patient under a stable piece of metal before suddenly yelling out making everyone stop, "What's going on?" "It's starting to collapse!" Before anyone can respond the building shifts closing the hole they were making. You dad starts freaking out, "We have to get her out of there!" "And we will. Eddie calm down or sit out."

When they finally get to where you and the patient are they can see the patient is stabilized and sort of groggy but they find your body a few feet away. Due to you having your dad's protective gear he wasn't allowed to enter the building but Buck is at your side checking on you, "I got a pulse! She has a leg stuck under some concrete. She probably knocked out after she got stuck." Bobby nods, "Let's get them out of here!"

Your dad watches as Chimney and Hen bring out the man, "Where's Y/N?" Chimney sets the man up on a gurney as Hen talks to your dad, "She moved the man out of the way. She has a pulse but her leg was caught under some concrete." Just as she finishes Buck and Bobby leave the building with you in Bucks arms. Eddie is instantly taking you into his arms as he slowly sets you down on the ground, "Baby wake up." You let out a groan before slowly opening your eyes, "Why are you so loud?" Everyone chuckles, even your dad, at your ability to bounce back so fast even with a broken leg.

Everyone helps you out while your leg heals, Christopher decided to spend the night with you one night and before your dad left he sat with you on the porch. He looks at the cast that everyone has signed and Christopher has drawn multiple pictures on before throwing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest, "When did you grow up?" "The day you told me go to college to make you proud. Did I?" "You did... You're still not dating until you're 45." You can't help but laugh and shake your head as you both watch the street lights come on and the stars come out. "Aren't you the one that had a kid at 16? The irony." "You're my baby I can be as ironic as I want."

#eddie diaz imagine #911 imagine #911 fox

[xbladekitkat85]

Why Clint is on Tony’s Sh*t List

Word count: A bit over 3k.

Chapter summary: Peter and Harley are brothers and the children of Tony Stark. Which is highly classified knowledge that nobody outside of the Avengers knows. Until Clint Barton accidentally spills the secret with a technology related mishap.

Warnings: A bit of language here and there. Tony threatening Clint’s life because he did an oopsie.

Peter's POV

In the school that is Midtown School of Science and Technology, everyone is basically a genius of some sort. You have biology geeks, math geeks, chemistry geeks, robotics geeks. You name a branch of STEM subjects, there are guaranteed to be at least 5 masters in every subject.

That being said, being a master in a subject doesn't mean that you would be instantly popular. Sure you might get hounded for homework help, but it doesn't mean you actually make friends as easily. It's more like people want to leech off of your knowledge and don't bother to get to know you.

There's a social pyramid in all schools and let's just say I'm towards the bottom of mine. I build Lego sets, I love Star Wars, I'm a whiz at chemistry and math. But people ignore the fact that I'm 'somewhat' intelligent and focus on the Lego and Star Wars part of my image. Which sucks big time. At least I'm graduating this year.

But at least I have my brother Harley to confide in. We argue over stupid stiff but we both enjoy poking fun at each other.

3rd person POV

Peter was sitting at his usual table with his small group of friends. Ned, MJ, and Betty made up this small group of people.

"So, what are you guys doing this weekend?" Ned asked the group.

"Uhhhh, I was planning on going to see that new movie coming out." Betty answered. "You know, the one with Emilia Clarke and what's his name."

"Oh yeah, I know which one you're talking about." Ned replied.

"You losers can go see a movie, I'm going to a protest outside of Oscorp." MJ replied, sipping her thermos of coffee.

"What did Oscorp do?" Peter asked curiously.

"They're trying to cover up an employee getting severely injured, the safety protocols are shitty, and HR is as usual, the worst part of it all in addition to the censorship of the incident online."

Peter nodded his head, eyes widened.

"Gotcha. I definitely understand why you're going."

MJ set her thermos down and opened her latest book, Speak.

Ned turned to look at Peter.

"Stark internship all weekend?" He inquired.

Peter shrugged and took a sip of water.

"I'm gonna hang out with Harley. Probably do some stuff in the lab. Usual stuff."

Betty shook her head in disbelief.

"I still can't believe you're friends with him." She said. "He's pretty high on the social ladder here. I mean I know you guys have the internship together but it's still kind of baffling that I never see you interacting in school."

Ohhhhh, if you only knew Betty. Peter laughed to himself on the inside.

Nobody at school knew that Peter and Harley were half brothers and the children of Tony Stark. Not even Ned or MJ knew although he suspected that MJ somehow knew or was close to figuring it out. She's scarily perceptive and freakishly good at knowing things about other people that she definitely shouldn't.

The bell rang signaling the end of lunch.

The four friends parted ways and headed to their respective classes.

*After school*

Peter arrived at the tower straight from Delmar's after picking up snacks for the weekend. He had grabbed an assortment, ranging from potato chips to pretzel M&Ms.  He waved at Ms. Maldonado, the lady who commanded the reception area and dashed to the elevator, scanning his pass when prompted.

FRIDAY greeted him when the doors closed.

"How was your day Peter? Harley is already waiting for you. He told me to tell you, and I quote, "Peter, I hope you remembered my PRETZEL M&Ms not PEANUT M&M's like last time. If you forgot, I'm going to steal that new Lego set you were planning on building tomorrow. And I WILL hide it somewhere you'll never, ever, find it. Insert maniacal cackling, blah blah blah."

Peter stifled a laugh at Harley's message.

"Uh, well my day was the usual, you know. And tell Harley I got his stupid M&Ms. And I grabbed him something else too if he promises not to threaten the Legos again."

"Sure thing, Peter."

He exited the elevator to the floor which housed the labs he shared with Harley. There were multiple as the duo tended to accidentally blow things up and would need to have another place to work while repairs were being done. Needless to say, Tony was more than a little annoyed that his kids needed multiple labs because they kept blowing them up. But whatever, he loves them and will pay for it as long as he gets to blackmail them with all the ridiculous stories of what blew up and how it happened.

Harley looked up towards the door Peter walked through and lifted his welding mask off his face.

"Hand over the merchandise, blockhead." He said, his arm stretched towards the bag of goodies Peter was carrying.

"Only if you promise to leave the Legos alone, biotch." He replied.

Harley rolled his eyes and dramatically lifted his hand in the air as if he was testifying in court.

"I promise not to touch the Legos." He said in a half joking tone.

Peter handed him the pack of M&Ms as well as a container of Oreos.

"I still don't understand why you like pretzel M&Ms." Peter remarked. "There's too much pretzel and not enough chocolate."

Harley stared directly at him as he tore open the M&Ms and popped a few in his mouth.

"I don't understand why you don't like pineapple on pizza." Harley shot back as he swiveled around in his chair

Peter groaned.

"We are not having this discussion again."

"Peter you're an idiot if you don't like pineapple on your pizza."

"Harley, you're a disgrace to the entire state of New York if you do. Fruit is not supposed to go on a proper pizza."

Harley chucked a bolt at Peter's head.

"Hey!" He protested as he turned to look at Harley. And then he saw a glint in Harley's eyes.

"Pizza is a dish with everything from the food pyramid. You have grain, dairy, meat, vegetables, fats, and oh, wait, you don't like pineapple so you're missing out. You could be getting every nutrient from the food pyramid but you're an idiot so you miss your daily serving of delicious pineapple on your pizza."

"Oh my god, stop."

The boys busted out laughing for a full 3 minutes, eventually with Harley falling out of his chair. Tony walked in to find his kids cackling at who knows what, and one on the floor, almost incapacitated by his laughter. He sighed before clearing his throat to gain their attention.

The boys sobered up and finally stopped laughing but they had unshed tears left from the fun.

"What on earth were you two dying of laughter over? Should I call a therapist? Do I need to be concerned? Did you eat something that you shouldn't have?"

Harley sniggered as Peter was trying to keep a straight face.

"He was eating pretzel M&Ms!" Peter said, holding back his laughter. "The type that should be illegal!"

"Peter, you don't diss Pretzel M&Ms, they're an underappreciated member of the M&Ms family. If you think pretzel M&Ms should be illegal, you clearly haven't tried the raspberry ones." Harley replied while doing his best to keep his face straight. "If anything, you should call a therapist for Peter and help him overcome his aversion to pineapple on pizza."

Tony looked even more lost than he was before.

"Ok, I don't know what I'm supposed to make of this. FRIDAY, show me footage of what the hell happened while I wasn't here."

"Sure thing boss."

Friday pulled up security footage of Harley and Peter's conversation. Tony watched it as the two teens were snickering behind him. After he understood the situation he turned to his kids and let out a tired sigh.

"Ok, I don't understand your sense of humor, but I came to tell you that we're having Italian for dinner."

Peter pumped his fist and Harley just shrugged.

"Italian is fine by me I guess."

"All right kiddos, be in the dining room by 7ish or else I'll cut the power to these labs. We eat as a family."

*Time skip*

It was 2 am, Monday morning and everything was silent except for the faint noise of shuffling towards the ceiling.

Clint Barton was crawling around in the vents, obviously on his way to do something he probably shouldn't be.

He had lost a bet with Nat earlier and the punishment was that he had to steal something for blackmail off of FRIDAY's databases.

He quietly dropped out of a vent shaft into an important looking office. He didn't bother checking who it belonged to but he was already too far gone to ask.

"Ok Nat, what do you want me to look for?" He whispered into his earpiece.

"Check the computer on the desk. The password is written on a sticky note in your pocket."

He checked his pocket and there was indeed a post it with a password on it.

"Ok, what am I supposed to find?" He asked once he logged in.

"Look for footage from the labs." She said. "Check labs CTS2 and IAI1."

"CTS2 and IAI1, gotcha." He reaffirmed.

He browsed around until he found the cameras he needed.

"Ok, found em. What dates should I look at?"

"Look at this past Friday," She answered, "around 4:45 to 6:15 pm. Tony drank from a can of motor oil instead of his coffee cup. I would like this footage in my posession. For my entertainment, and possibly blackmail to pull on him."

"All righty, ok, uhhhh." He muttered as he searched through that window of time.

He watched snippets of the footage and fast forwarded a few times until he glimpsed footage of Harley swiveling around in his chair as Peter looked exasperated. He paused and rewound to see what the situation was.

As Clint watched the whole argument play out and the aftermath, a shit eating grin began to spread across his face. He emailed himself the whole interaction for his own entertainment (blackmail, cough cough) and went back to searching for what he originally came for. He eventually found it, sent it to Natasha, logged out of the computer, and climbed into the open vent.

"You get it?" Nat asked suspiciously.

"Oh yeah, I got it." He said, trying to hold back the mischievous laughter that was threatening to let loose. He checked his phone to see whether he got the email he sent to himself. But to his surprise and sudden panic, it was not there. His social media, however, was blowing up with comments about the two kids and who they were and theories people were spouting.

"Oh shit."

"What did you do, Clinton?" Nat asked in a threateningly monotone voice.

Clint banged his head on the vent, forgetting that he still had his comms on.

"I may or may not have accidentally exposed Peter and Harley as Tony's kids."

Nat was silent for a moment before she finally responded.

"Tony's probably going to kill you for this, so you should pack your bags right now. Make funeral arrangements as well and update your will."

"Ah shit."

*Monday morning, 6:45 am*

Peter woke up to his phone ringing. He groaned and turned on his side to ignore the call. The phone rang again and he sighed before reluctantly sitting up and grabbing his phone.

What the hell, who's calling this early?

He looked at his notifications and saw multiple missed calls and texts from Ned and MJ. Something must have happened because Ned had typed in all caps, 'PETER EVERYONE KNOWS! CALL ME NOW!' MJ's text just said, 'I knew already. Don't try to hide it from me whenever you come to school.'

Instantly, Peter was wide awake. Did the whole world know he was Spiderman? But how did this happen, who would leak that information and how did they get it?

He called Ned and before he could even say, "What's up?" Ned butted in with a sentence he was not expecting.

"Peter, when were you going to tell me your dad was Tony Stark?! This is even bigger than Spiderman! As your Guy in the Chair, I think this knowledge might have been missing in our conversations."

Peter was at a loss for words as he stood up.

"It's all over social media and people are going apeshit over this!"

"Ned, you shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet." Peter replied in a nervous tone as he began pacing back and forth in his room. "How do you know the source is credible? Remember what Ms. Hernandez said about credibility when giving information in an essays or whatever?"

"But Peter, Hawkeye was the one who posted it. You know, the Avenger who shoots arrows?"

Peter stopped pacing and froze midstep.

Uncle Clint was behind this? But why?

"You sure he wasn't hacked?" Peter asked as he feebly attempted to get out of this confrontation.

"No, it's security footage from a lab. Tony said in the video that you guys were a family."

Peter then realized that he couldn't worm his way out of this situation. The whole world knew he and Harley were brothers and the sons of Tony Stark. Of course this happened, why wouldn't it?

"I'm going to call you back, I need to talk to Clint." Peter said.

"Ok, just let me know if you and Harley are going to be ok or not." Ned replied.

"Bye Ned."

"Bye."

Peter hung up and took a deep breath before leaving his room to go find Clint.

He entered the kitchen and almost everyone was there except the one person he wanted to talk to.

"Hey, uh, where's uncle Clint?" Peter asked.

Uncle Steve looked up from his breakfast.

"He left last night. Family emergency."

"Uh huh, so correct me if I'm wrong but Clint left because dad was going to kill him, right?"

Suddenly everyone was avoiding eye contact with Peter. Yup, everyone knew what happened.

Just then, Tony walked in with a very irritated expression.

"I don't think you and Harley are going to be able to go to school today. Some kid from your school, Dash or something posted you go to school with him and know you both. So there are multiple news stations outside the tower and surrounding your school. Might be best to just stay home today."

"Is Uncle Clint still alive?" Harley asked as he walked in, yawning.

"He is alive," Tony responded "Not for much longer though."

"Dad, you can't just kill him." Peter protested. "It's not like he actually did anything that warrants his death."

"I don't think he meant to do it." Harley added. "He deleted it maybe 10 minutes after he posted it but other people recorded it on their own devices and re shared it. He probably realized what he had done and tried to delete it but of course, once it's out there, it's out there."

"Don't kill Uncle Clint, he's got a wife and kids. Besides, we need him on the team." Peter said.

"We don't need Clint," Tony said, waving his hand. "I already got a replacement set up."

Peter had not heard of this new team member that was apparently going to replace Clint.

"Who is it?" Harley asked curiously.

"Kate Bishop. She's already on her way here. Clint trained her to take over the mantle of Hawkeye anyway so it shouldn't be that big a deal." Tony shrugged. "She's a bit older than you two, 18 or 19, I can't remember at the moment."

"Ok, then, as long as she's trusted by you." Peter relented.

"Don't know what she might be like, but if Clint trained her, and they share similar personalities, whatever spirits above help us." Harley said solemnly.

Peter smacked Harley's arm.

"Hey!" He complained.

"She's not even here yet and you are badmouthing her already. Have some manners, dude."

"It doesn't matter at the moment right? You said it yourself, she's not here yet and I will 'have some manners' when she does."

All of a sudden, Peter heard a nearly imperceptible shuffling coming from above. He felt a shiver go down his spine and the instinct to get into a defensive position.

"He's right, you should have some manners young man." An unfamiliar voice boomed from above.

Harley looked around wildly in confusion.

"Who's there?! Are you a spirit from above???" He asked.

All of a sudden, a figure dropped out of the vent directly above Harley and tackled him to the ground.

"And that is Kate Bishop." Tony said, answering the question in everyone's mind.

Kate released Harley from her grip and she helped him up.

"Clint was right," She said, smiling. "Crawling through the vents to prank people is fun."

She looked up to the open vent and held out her arms, to everyone's confusion.

"Lucky, come on down!" She called.

To everyone's shock, a dog with one good eye poked his head out from the vent and jumped into Kate's arms.

"Oh crap, nobody has allergies to dog dander, right?" Kate asked, looking at everyone.

"Maybe? I'm not sure." Peter replied.

"Damn, I should have checked before bringing him, huh." Kate muttered.

Tony waved his hand at the dog.

"As long as he's potty trained, we should be fine." He said, trying to reassure her worries. "We're all fine with dogs."

Peter thought back to all the dogs he's pet on patrol. They always seemed happy to play with him and now there was a dog in the tower. Huzzah, he didn't get to only pet dogs on patrol now!

"Well, all's well that ends well, right?" Peter said.

"How about everyone gets acquainted with Kate?" Tony suggested. "It's not like you two are going to school today anyway."

Peter and Harley agreed and that day became a get to know the new team member day.

Peter texted Ned to let him know he was going to school the next day and invited him to the tower after school to meet someone. Oh the look on Ned's face when he found out would be priceless.

Taglist:

@frostedgiant

Send an ask if you would like to be tagged!

#marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #peter parker #tony stark #harley keener #kate bishop #ned leeds #mj #michelle jones #clint barton #natasha romanoff #irondad #irondad fanfic #fanfiction #hawkeye #ironman #spiderman

[crazy-loca-blog]

Personal thoughts on Open Heart, Third Year, Chapter 1

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.

OMG, I didn’t expect this to be so long, I’m so sorry! I guess I was inspired…

I had planned to find some time to do this tomorrow, but I just can’t… because… book 3 is finally here and I can’t stop venting about it! And even though having my favorite people in this app back is making me really, really happy right now, writing about this is a bittersweet experience because we don’t know what will actually happen to this series after this book. So I think I’ll just enjoy the ride this time, because if this is the last book in the series, I want to feel happy about it and I want to keep the focus on the good things.

First of all, I have to admit I was scared. Yeah, I love romance books, but what makes Open Heart my favorite series is that the writers manage to balance both the medical cases and the leisure/romance/friends time pretty decently when compared to other books in the app. And I was scared to lose that hospital setting because it looked like everyone was looking for more romance and less medical stuff. So I’m glad that they managed to keep the balance in this chapter. Not only they found a way to include scenes with all our friends, but they also gave us equal time with the LIs, we got to work on a new case, and we were given some hints about the new dramas, so I’d say we got the full package, and I’m happy about it.

There is no doubt that the main focus of this chapter was the introduction to a new Edenbrook… and for me, this thing has the word “shady” written all over the place. I didn’t trust Leland Bloom in the past, and I certainly don’t trust him now. What worries me the most is that the only ones who seem to realize that something is suspicious are the MC (depending on your choices), Jackie and Ethan (and I have a feeling that Zaid might be questioning some stuff, too). And even though I’m waiting to see Naveen at some point of the book because I need to know what he thinks of all this (Ethan says the MC something about him in the pre-sex scene, but I think I need more info), I also think this chapter gave us some hints of the issues we might face in the future:

We all know Leland Bloom is not a doctor, he has no idea about medicine, but he still wants to run a hospital and do things his way. And that might explain the first “non-sense” of this book: Rafael being hired as physical therapist and Harper joining the diagnostics team. I know Raf has plenty of experience as an EMT and that will save him plenty of time in case he wants to study to become a therapist, BUT we all know that’s not enough… I mean, not even Raf thought he’d be getting the job! And then we have Harper, who is an amazing doctor… but she’s a surgeon. Even though she’s perfectly capable of doing research (do you remember Bryce looking for surgical options to save Ms. Martinez in Book 1 and Kyra in Book 2?), her main job is not to discover what’s wrong with people, but to fix what’s wrong with them. And I believe both of them performing jobs they have no experience with will only mean trouble in the future.

Leland also added some extra zeros to our paychecks, gave us a completely new doctors’ lounge and threw a party… of course, you can bet this is not for free. Just as the man tried to buy us at the end of book 2, he’s trying to buy the rest of the doctors, nurses and everyone else. The man needs to find a cure for him and his wife, so people getting all these high amounts of money will do anything he wants them to do. And I think the first one to fall for this will be Elijah (because Jackie already learned her lesson). He is so in love with research and all the new technology, and he sees so many new chances to discover things that will save people, that I wouldn’t be surprised if he finds himself agreeing to do things he normally wouldn’t do just to help Leland. So our boy must be protected at all costs.

Finally, we know that Leland is a business man, so he’ll be treating Edenbrook as a business, not as a hospital. And that got me thinking about the role of the patients in all this. Depending on your choices regarding Martha, she asks the MC about the cost of a full-body exam, and the MC tells her not to worry about it. What the MC forgot is that Edenbrook is under a completely different business model now, and that might mean trouble for future cases, as the patients might not be able to afford their treatments and they might feel forced to participate on researches to cover the expenses (like some kind of offer… “oh, but if you cannot afford the bill, then you may want to participate on a trial…”). After all, if Leland wants to make Edenbrook the best research institution, he needs to have not only personnel, he also needs patients subjects.

Besides all the Edenbrook drama, we had some nice quality time with our LIs, but the pre-sex scene with Rafael actually broke me, because it’s the kind of scene that we were all waiting to have, but not everyone will be able to see in their games. For the first time, the MC and Rafael took some time to remember Danny and Bobby, and to share their feelings about the accident in Book 2. It was a brief and very meaningful scene, but I think it deserved more than being seen only by people who are romancing him. I was also glad to discover that both Jackie and Ethan seem to be on the same page as the MC when it comes to having doubts about Leland Bloom (if you follow the route of being suspicious, of course), but I’m so disappointed with Bryce! I mean, what was that of not wanting to be seen with the MC? I swear that I read it and I felt the same heartache I felt when Ethan told the MC he didn’t know what was going to happen with their relationship after Edenbrook… that’s not OK Lahela, and you know it! You’ve been hooking up with the MC for over two years now, I demand answers! And yeah, I’m publicly rooting for Keiko to return and give him a piece of her mind.

As per our friends, it was so nice to see Sienna wanting to move on, but never in a million years would have thought that Ines has a girlfriend… after all these years rooting for Ines and Zaid to become a couple, and after all these years that this couple has been actually canon for most people, discovering that she’s actually a lesbian and that she has a girlfriend was something like “you have to be kidding me, right?”. Anyway, love is love and if she’s happy, we’re all happy… it was just funny to realize it after so long! Another one that got me a little worried is Aurora. Maybe it’s just my perception, but I felt like she didn’t give us anything new, like nothing happened to her… it’s like the writers put her in the chapter just because she had to appear in the book… or maybe she’ll have some more important role in future chapters? Like taking Baz’s place in the diagnostics team?

I seriously didn’t think about this until now. I don’t know if Baz leaving the diagnostics team surprises me (remember that in Book 2, Zaid got him his dream job), but the way he left the team was weird… and I have so many theories on my mind now. He was very explicit about leaving the team, not Edenbrook, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually got some lead role in some research team at Edenbrook (we know Elijah was given a chance to work on research, so Baz is probably on the same page). Or he might have been tempted by June and be leaving to Kenmore. I honestly have no idea… as I have no idea of who will be replacing him. I have two candidates, and both of them would definitely cause drama in the team: I already mentioned Aurora. Can you imagine Harper and Aurora working together? I can already feel the tension in that team. However, I’m taking a risk and I’m going to say that the new member of the diagnostics team will be Tobias Carrick. This was the only plot that wasn’t fully addressed in Book 2, and I wouldn’t be surprised if PB decides to rekindle this old feud to give it the proper closure it deserves.

Finally, I can’t help it… this topic needs to be addressed… if you’re romancing Ethan and you didn’t feel at least a little jealous about what we saw today between him and Harper, then you’re a liar. I stan Harper Emery, I love her and everything that she represents as a powerful, successful and independent woman, and there is no doubt that I would ship her and Ethan if my MC weren’t romancing him. But the truth is… my MC is romancing Ethan, and yes, I did feel jealous about them (and I felt so stupid! LOL!). However, I’m far from thinking that this will be a love triangle thing. This will be a strictly professional conflict (that may have some extra dialogs if you’re romancing Ethan). Why? First of all, the writers have to make this conflict work for everyone (and not only for Ethan stans), and second, because I think the writers are bringing back an old friend of our MC. And here is where I remember a moment during the first book where my favorite pep talker in the world (I’m talking to you, Bryce Lahela) said something about how the MC tends to doubt themselves… and this is exactly what I think this is all about. Harper’s presence will be bringing our MC’s doubts and lack of self-confidence back, and that’s it.

I’m not going to lie… everyone knows I’m super biased here and that I love this series to death, so it’s hard for me to find something I don’t like, especially in the first chapter, because everything is new and things aren’t quite developed yet. So what can I say? I can’t wait for next Friday to come fast!

#playchoices #choices stories you play #open heart #choices open heart #open heart choices #casey valentine #ethan ramsey #bryce lahela #rafael aveiro #jackie varma #aurora emery #sienna trinh #elijah green #harper emery #baz mirani #zaid mirani #ines delarosa #tobias carrick #leland bloom

[thirstybtsthoughts]

Hi, Bunny. It's me again, I really hope to not bother you, rn I need a big sister. I'm sorry if this ask is going to be very long, I'll try to keep it as short as I can.

As usual I need to vent here bc I'm afraid some people in my life might not take me seriously. I'm probably going to talk about this with my therapist too, she's amazing but I'm afraid she's between those people that won't understand.

My gf is still not answering my texts and I'm freaking out. Being anxious and having abandonment issues isn't the best combo. At this point my mind goes thinking she's dead or something really bad happened and I feel so heartbroken. I'm not going with details but my gf has some unfortunate things she needs to take care of, so if she doesn't answer for one or two days I try to stay calm, but five is too much. I guess my question is... is it okay to date a person in a difficult situation? I understand she might need space to do stuff and think, I would never deny someone that, but I don't want to run away when things get complicated. I don't know if I'm clear.

My therapist will probably say to forget her and find someone when I'll start uni. First, I don't want someone else. Second, I feel that I'll always be alone. Finding someone that liked me was already a miracle, I don't think it will happen again, I don't have a big dating pool. Anyways rn I'm too sad to think of finding someone else.

I feel so dramatic. It was difficult for me to write it but I don't think it's healthy to let this rot inside of me. I guess I need an opinion and I'll still have to talk about it with my therapist, even though I'm scared. Tomorrow is my last session for the summer, so I only have this chance.

Thank you for listening to me Bunny, I'm sorry if I'm annoying 😭 ~🌼

I'm sure you already have, but check all her social media to see if she's been active. 5 days for someone who is your girlfriend is too long in my opinion, especially if you've been messaging her. The least she can do is check in to let you know she's okay and just needs some space. Then at least you wouldn't have to worry so much.

It's more than okay to date someone who is in a difficult situation. They need someone who is there for them, someone who loves and cares for them. And you are that person for her 🥺. You don't have to leave her if that's not what you want (and if it's not what she wants).

On the other hand, it's okay to be single too. You're young and just starting a new adventure! You won't be alone forever, you will find the love you deserve one day 🥰 (I need to tell myself this too 😭). You are an amazing person... Joon says to love yourself, so listen to himmmmm 🥺.

I won't tell you what to do, just as your therapist can't tell you what to do, because it seems you already know what you want! Which is good! So next step would be to just wait for your gf to get back to you, keep trying to contact her, tell her you're worried, try not to stress over it too much. If she didn't want to talk to you anymore, she would have blocked you. Communicate your needs with her and make sure she does the same, so you know what to expect in future.

I hope this makes sense, it's probably not very helpful 🥺

#asks #anon #yellow flower anon #🌼 #🌼 anon #advice

[elytrafemme]

vent under cut and i’ll delete it later, nothing important just need to air it out 

so i had. literally nothing going on today. until maybe an hour ago, fuck all was going on. and i have somehow managed to get only 1 of 4 (and technically more but they were less necessary) assignments for school / extracurriculurs done. and i cannot fucking focus on finishing it. 

and it’s kind of critically important that i finish it.

i feel kind of shit about my wips, too, which is unfortunate because i should have at least done those so that i could, you know, not stress myself out tomorrow trying to edit cough syrup or at least have some semblance of productivity, but nope, did none of that either. 

and also my physical health, mental health, and entire life is sort of falling apart at the seams and i have to wait another week to see my therapist and i have actually zero idea what to do with myself because i have to stay afloat this year so i’m actually kind of solely coping with this blog especially since i cut most of my friends off on impulse and. uh. haha. yeah. 

anyway sorry for the vent i just. fuck man idk what to do!!! i’ll feel better soon but i literally cannot do this assignment and i’m just. stressed out of my fucking mind. i feel sick almost. and i’m trying not to cry because i don’t want anyone to know that this is getting to me. 

but considering i stopped talking to most of my closest friends, had a complete episode on friday, and have been struck with several physical health issues abruptly that are actually sort of very concerning, i don’t think i’m succeeding. 

sorry for the vent. i’ll delete it later. there’s just too much going on and i don’t know what to do with myself.

#nightmare.vent #don't rb #delete later #i can't really stay up working either because i think the health issues are worsened by my lack of sleep #so honestly not really sure how to approach this one gents #might just project it all onto ranboo but the next chapter of cs is too light hearted for it #i have to wait til at LEAST 15 chapters or so in before i can really project #absolutely ridiculous. anyway i'm gonna make a post abt my 30 day wip soon #maybe idk

[syrupa]

Hello! can I request a matchup? My name is Yumeji, i’m gay and go by he/him pronouns. My personality type is INFJ. I have short brown curley hair and i’m 5’4. I’m chaotic af, I swear 24/7. I stub my toe? I swear. I do something dumb? I swear. I do literally nothing? I swear. At first i’m pretty quiet though, I need to actually be friends with this person to show my chaotic side. I love PDA, i’d probably be following them anywhere while saying the most random shit. I might just yell CHEESE or something like that for no apparent reason. I act all happy and cheerful, but it’s all usually a facade. I like to act all cheery so people don’t worry about me, but i’m reality I have serious depression and anxiety. My thoughts spiral out of control a lot and I really need a hug to snap me out of it. My hobbies are art, singing and animating. I like cats, star gazing, daydreaming, listening to music and talking with close friends. I dislike good ol father dearest, when people interrupt me while I daydream my life away and vegetables, I don’t like vegetables. Anyway, thank you, I hope I did this right.

these can be seen as platonic or romantic

I match you with...

Momo Yaoyorozu

The two of you met at the park. You and a couple friends decided to meet up there since you all had know idea where to go or what to do. All you guys knew was that you were bored and should do something. Waiting at a bench, thoughts began to spiral around and you couldn't stop them. Luckily for you, a nearby hero-in-training spotted you and your situation. She wanted to help you any way she could. But she didn't know exactly what to do. Momo hasn't really helped anyone stuck in your situation. That didn't mean she was going to stand by and do nothing.

"Excuse me sir but are you alright? Do you need anything? Are you sick?" She asked, rubbing your shoulder. The sudden gesture surprised you and you thought it was one of your friends. Turning your head, you soon realized that wasn't the case. You saw a girl with her dark hair in a tight pony tail and she seemed worried or at the very least least concerned.

Putting on your facade, you smiled and responded to the young girl. "I'm alright ma'm! Thank you for the concern." With a stoic face, she shook her head. "I'm sorry for pushing on the matter but I can tell something is wrong. Is something troubling you? If there is then you can rant about to me, I'm listening." This shocked you a bit. You didn't think some random person would treat you with such kindness. You didn't know how to respond. The young girl seemed to notice your shock. "I'm Momo Yaoyorozu! May I take a seat?" You nodded your head.

"If i am making you uncomfortable, i'll leave whenever you like. I just want to lend you an ear to talk to." You don't know how it happened, but you vented out everything to her. Maybe your feelings were getting too overwhelming? Maybe it was just the spur? You weren't quite sure. But the polite lady comforted you through everything.

"Thank you for... this." You quickly said, trying to wipe away your tears with your sleeve. The girl gave you a genuine smile and offered you a napkin. Wait since when did she have a napkin? "My quirk allows me to create objects." Oh. "Thank you again." You said standing up. "No need to thank me, do you want my number just in case you need someone to vent to again?" Her kindness once again shocked you. "Uh yeah actually, that sounds nice." She swiftly made a pen and notepad to write down her number.

Your interaction with that Yaoyorozu girl never left your mind. She really saw a complete stranger zoning out and said, "Ima change this persons entire day." You stared at the number on your phone. Today you just really needed someone to talk to and you didn't know who. You scrolled through your contacts until you saw hers. The dark haired ponytail girl who comforted you about your problems despite not even knowing you.

Her kind words played back into your head and you found yourself texting her for comfort. Almost instantly after you sent the message she responded, asking if you wanted to vent through a call or just text. Choosing text, you began sending her mountains of text messages, just ranting about life. And she listened. She listened to every single word. She comforted you, gave you amazing advice, and offered you encouraging words. She was so good at this, it was like she was your therapist.

A little after that incident, you thought about how unfair it was for her. She had to make time out of her day for you, some guy she met at the park, just to hear you rant about your dumb problems. You should do something for her, you should give her something in return! Wait she offered to do this, why am i feeling bad? Yeah it was her own fault. Still maybe i should do something for her.

After basically fighting with yourself, you decided you'd ask to meet at the same park you met at to treat her to some coffee. To make it less awkward, you'd invite a friend. You sent her a small text saying, do you want to get some coffee with me and a friend tomorrow? Her response wasn't as quick as it was when you sent the text asking to vent to her but it was still rather fast. ofc! where and when? :) You gave her the information and turned off your phone, heading to bed.

The next day, you got up and got ready for your little hangout. You met up with your friend and headed to the park. At said park, you saw she was already there waiting. You wanted to ease the tension and said. "Well you're early." No shit Sherlock you uttered to yourself. Momo nodded her head with a smile. "Let's start heading off to the coffee place." You and your friend agreed.

The whole thing was surprisingly fun. You mixed well together due to the huge difference in personalities. It wasn't awkward at all and it felt like you were simply hanging out with another friend instead of some random girl who comforted you at the park. After that experience, you started to invite her to more hangouts with your friends. Instead of only speaking to her when you were sad, you began speaking to her on a regular bases, having full on conversations about whatever was on both of your minds. You two had gotten very close and the relationship you built was extraordinary.

The dynamic was basically: Mom and Chaotic Child. I think you already know who is what role.

She's gotten used to the foul things you say. You'll be latching on to her arm and saying the weirdest stuff and she'll just stand there like it's an average Tuesday. (it is for her) Jiro wonders how she hasn't lost her mind by now. Momo will say something about it if your around certain people though. Just making sure you don't get your ass kicked.

Momo has a deep appreciation for art. When you show her your animations, she's so proud of you. Praises you so fucking much it's crazy. If you ever need someone to help you visualize certain poses, she's always up for it. She'll make time out of her day to do it. If you draw her specifically, AAAAAAAAAAA. She'd be so happy and have a huge smile on her face.

Just like how she is with your art, she's super proud of your singing voice. Talks about your voice a lot whenever the topic of music is brought up. She only has good things to say about you. If you write songs, she'll be so supportive of all of them. And if you ever need help with said songs, she'll talk to Jiro and ask her to help you with whatever you need. Momo isn't confidant in her own skills, especially in music, so having someone like Jiro helping you would be more useful in her mind.

It'll take some convincing but if there's a specific role in a song you need her to do then she will do it. Deep down within her she'll be bursting with joy that you chose her for the role out of everyone. Just please help her improve her confidence. She really needs more.

Makes sure no one breaks you out of your daydreams. If they come up to ask you a question whilst you're in your fantasy world, she'll shoo them away and tell them she'll ask you later. Basically Momo will tell them to fuck off in a kind way whilst whispering. If it's something really important and she has to snap you back to reality, she'll speak in a very soft and comforting tone.

One night, Yaomomo felt like crying. Mistake after mistake, every second she felt like she was the biggest failure in the world. Everything felt so overwhelming. It felt as if she was drowning in a lake of sadness. Every single time she tried to climb out, another round of waves hit her. The ruthless cycle left her feeling pathetic, helpless even. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes, but she bit her lip. Momo put on a tight smile and began walking forward.

You and her had arranged a small hangout under the cherry tree in the park you met at. She wanted to be happy for you. She wanted to be happy for her friends. Momo swore to herself that she wouldn't cancel on you. Even if she was at her lowest, she wanted to be there to help and support you.

Her smile was, to you, clearly forced. The girl's raven hair was a mess, seeming like she was pulling it a moment before. The dark eye bags was a dead give away she was tired. Her hands were balled into fists. And if you looked closer, you could see her thumb digging into the soft skin of her hand. Momo was clearly not okay and you were not going to allow that.

"Yaomomo, everything alright?" you said in a tone that made it obvious you were being serious. She simply nodded her head, taking a seat beside you. "Yaomomo I could tell when you're not okay." Her lips formed a straight line as she closed her eyes. It looked like she was thinking hard about something.

You wouldn't push her to talk about whatever was troubling her but you would try to take her mind off it. You took her hand in yours and rubbed circles into her knuckles. Usually you were on the side of being comforted rather than comforting. But you had to be there for her, exactly how she was there for you. Her kindness blew you away the first time you met and now it was finally the time to repay her for not only that kindness, but all the love she's shown you for the amount of time you've known each other.

The simply gesture snapped her out of her thoughts and her eyes darted down to your hand. Momo's lip then turned into a small smile. Tears began forming in her eyes and she pressed her head into your shoulder. Although you couldn't tell exactly what she was thinking and why she was crying, you were glad you could give her some peace of mind. Not a word was said during this interaction.

You sat in silence as you both watched the stars in all their glory. Choosing to ignore the tears that were running down the girl's face, you shifted slightly and turned your head to face hers. "Do you want to lay down on my lap? I think that would be more comfortable than the position you're in." Momo responded with a simple nod and smile that was enough to melt your heart.

After repositioning, Momo's breath turned even again and her tears soon faded. You both began cracking jokes whilst watching the stars. Laughs and giggles filled the cold night's sky. Exchanging a look you both thought the same thought. I would do anything for you.

#mha matchup #bnha matchup #anime matchup #momo yaoyorozu matchup #syrupa-matchups

[regular-lord-reckoner]

just kind of need to vent some fears i have right now throwing this into the void style but

i know i desperately need to start therapy, have for a long time but i think i’ve realized this week why it scares me so much

it’s not that i’m so much afraid of sitting down and talking about...well, everything, but it’s that i fear my life getting better

i fear growing and healing and being happier because i don’t know what i’ll do when the next inevitable tragedy happens

i’m scared it’ll undo all my hard work or hit me ten times harder

i’m scared i’ll meet new people or even fall in love (fat chance) and something will go horribly wrong

after all, my parents both had pretty shitty lives for a long time but finally found happiness it seemed like and then...bam, worst fucking thing imaginable

and i get that that’s...life. i get that nobody gets to be happy and only ever be happy and i get that horrible things can happen to anyone at any time, regardless of whether they’ve happened before but i dunno

it just seems...safer this way?

like yeah, i’m deeply miserable and can’t wait to die but isn’t that better than actually enjoying life for a second only to be body slammed back into misery?

what if life’s got even more fucked up shit in store for me and i do all this goddamn work to overcome my trust issues and abandonment issues and just...all of it and then i just have something happens that’s almost as bad as the worst thing that’s ever happened to me?

i guess that’s...childish of me? stupid of me? silly and irrational? but i don’t know how to not feel that way when a massive part of my problem is that one day i woke up to a suicide by someone that promised me they’d always be there for me.

i already feel like i walk on eggshells all the time and am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop

if i hear a loud noise downstairs i don’t think, “oh, someone probably dropped something” or even just “what was that?” i think “dead. they’re dead. someone just died and you’re going to have to see it”

and even with all of that aside like...what life am i even supposed to have?

my parents need me. my dad’s old and has a lot of health problems so i’ve been taking on even more responsibilities around the house and that’s only going to increase the older he gets

their relationship has...deteriorated. it’s not constant fighting but it���s been enough that it’s also got me on high alert and i’ve had to intervene several times because i don’t want either of them to say some shit that’s going to really hurt the other and i also just don’t want them yelling at each other

i genuinely worry about what would happen if i were to move out, i feel sometimes like i’m the only thing holding this all together and like...yeah, that’s not really fair to me but at the same time too...i would have ended my shit a long time ago had it not been for them so i feel like...what choice do i have but to stay? might as well, right?

if i’m too chicken shit to get better because i’m scared it’ll all fall apart anyway then i might as well just stay stagnant and stay here and just take care of them and try to keep the peace as long as i can and whenever they’re eventually gone i figure if life’s okay i’ll just ride it out until the end but if not...well.

idk. i know that the obvious answers are here and i know what anyone or any therapist would say if i were to say these things. that i need to just get over this and learn to want to live my life for myself and not worry as much about what’ll happen because that’s not my responsibility

but i feel like i already let down one person i really loved in the worst way so i owe to my family to do this, to stay here and to help out however i can

and yeah, it’s not ideal but it’s at least the devil i know so it feels better than the alternative

the downside is i know it’s going to cost me everything else

i know nobody wants a fucking sad sack who won’t get her shit together and isn’t going anywhere in life

i know i offer little to nothing because i can barely muster up the energy to be enthusiastic about my own interests and just generally speaking i suck

yeah, i’m good for a laugh here or there but apart from that? that’s about it

i can’t seem to form any hobbies or do any activities that might be fun because trying new things makes me suicidal as shit when it’s supposed to be like...fun, but it’s not

i feel like all i ever do is bitch and moan and nobody likes that, that gets old really fucking fast and i know that

i don’t blame anyone for giving up on me or losing hope because i did this to myself and nobody but me can get myself out of this and well...i don’t know if i can or if it’s even worth it

so i just...don’t really know what to do

and maybe this is just my very bad brain at the moment and when i go back on my ~medication i’ll change my mind and want to actually get better, regardless of how terrifying that is, but i’ve spent this entire week crying my eyes out because the thought of it just feels so fucking overwhelming and impossible

i dunno. i’m sorry to anyone who reads this because i know this is... a lot, but i’ve been holding this in for a long time and this entire past year has really been hard on me

i try not to talk about it because i know it’s a bummer and i know it just pushes people even further away from me, but i don’t think it’s helping just bottling it up and pretending like it’s not all i can ever think about and again...i genuinely don’t know if i can do the therapy thing because...yeah

i also just need to get this off my chest because i haven’t said it on here or to anyone but i also lost my dog a few months ago

i genuinely don’t know what happened to him, i think someone may have straight up stolen him because some people moved out of one of the houses near us and i know he’d been going over there sometimes so i’m not sure if that’s the case, if it is i just hope they’re taking good care of him because he’s a very sweet boy who doesn’t deserve anything bad to happen to him

we’ve looked everywhere for him and we don’t have those people’s information and even if we did i doubt they’d admit, “oh yeah, we stole your dog!” so i’m really not sure but naturally the last time i ever saw him i was trying to do some work outside and i needed to just get it done but he wanted to play so i told him to just wait until i was finished and then i’d play with him, so he wandered off and that’s the last time i ever saw him

i’ve felt like such a fucking asshole over it and i’ll scroll through my phone looking for something and see pictures of him and i just...can’t. i still keep hoping he’s just going to reappear one day, tail wagging and wanting a hug

it doesn’t have as much to do with everything else but it’s just kinda like...damn, dude.

oh, and my grandmother has lung cancer and doesn’t want treatment so there’s also that

my relationship with her has broken down pretty badly so i’m not horribly torn up about it but i know it’s going to be hard on my mom and so like...even more reason why i feel like i have to be here, y’know?

idk. it just kinda feels like my life isn’t really mine and maybe it shouldn’t be because i’m not sure i can handle it, i’m not sure i can handle it getting good only for it to possibly get really bad again and i know that there’s always the possibility of it just...being okay and that maybe bad things will happen, but they won’t be traumatic and awful but...taking that risk just feels impossible and ultimately i don’t know that it’s worth it because at the end of the day it’s...me.

i figure i already inflict myself on enough good people who only deserve good things and if i’m to fade into the background of my stagnant life then that’s probably for the best because all i do is make things worse and needlessly difficult even when i don’t mean to so it’s not like i really deserve to get better anyway

i’ve rambled enough and if i keep going it’s just going to get more whiny and pathetic so i’ll stop myself but i’m hoping maybe like i said if i can just...put these thoughts here then maybe i can make it through tomorrow without crying?

probably not, but it’s worth a shot, i guess. again, this may just all be temporary given my current mental state, but i’ve also been putting off therapy for a long time since before this week as is so...not sure that’ll really change any time soon. i had almost worked up to just doing the damn thing before the pandemic happened and then...well. feel like i might have missed my window of opportunity if i ever was going to do it because in some senses i’ve gotten better at managing all of this, i guess, but in other ways i feel like i’ve just fallen even further down the hole and trying to climb out feels like it’s guaranteed to just get me hurt even worse so i kind of want to just stay down here.

i’m trying not to give up completely or be totally hopeless about the whole thing, but at the same time...yikes!!!

#need to just brain fart for a second i apologize #this is kinda dark so please don't feel obligated to read #i'll probably delete this soon i just have another shitty work week coming up and if i want to make it thorugh #without completely losing my mind i at least need to kind of feel like i'm talking to an actual human being #because i am not capable of that at the moment