#I'm a little disappointed in myself haha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sansaorgana · 22 days

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Hi! It's anon from the period thoughts hehe! I think you're spot on with all of that! Thank you :) Any chance you can do a fic with it?

Gale w/a girlfriend or wife that's having awful period cramps/day?

hiii 😘 guess who started her period today? ME 🤣 when I realised this request is next in the line to be written I laughed 😛 because it's something I'm going through at the moment, I got a bit carried away and it's quite long for a cute little fic like that haha 🥰

I have about 10 MOTA requests to write in my inbox 😅 so please, go easy with them for a while 👉🏻👈🏻 especially that requests for Feyd are open now, too 🤩

You were laying on the couch under a blanket, mindlessly watching the TV with your eyes hazy from the painkiller you had taken. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working for the pain but it was making you feel even more dazed out.

When you heard the front door opening, you sensed the feeling of guilt forming a knot in your stomach. Buck was coming back home after work and not only his house hadn’t been cleaned but also there was no dinner waiting for him on the table. You hoped he’d survive on the sandwiches but you felt bad for him.

“I’m back!” He announced his arrival but you didn’t move. You simply couldn’t.

You heard him undressing and taking his shoes off before peeking into the living room and looking at the TV.

“You’re watching this?” He asked surprised. Well, the program was stupid as hell and you were aware of it.

“I don’t want to but I can’t move to turn it off,” you admitted in a raspy, tired voice.

“Are you okay?” Buck furrowed his brows and approached the TV. He crouched down and turned it off.

“Thank you, it was starting to give me a migraine,” you admitted with a sigh.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He turned around to face you.

“I’m sorry, I have those days,” you explained.

“What days, love?”

“Ugh…” You winced at one of the cramps. “Code red, Gale. Those days,” you specified.

“Oh,” he straightened himself and put his hands on his hips, getting visibly awkward. “What can I do for you? Does it hurt a lot?”

“Yes, it does. Just leave me here alone…” You mumbled. “And don’t get angry at me because I haven’t done anything around the house. Haven’t cooked anything either,” you lowered your voice, a little scared of his reaction.

You didn’t expect your husband to be angry about such a thing. He was not like most men. But he still could get a little frustrated and irritated. You wouldn’t blame him for that but it would still feel awful to disappoint him like that.

“Hey, you don’t feel good, it’s fine,” Buck only said. “I can make myself sandwiches,” he shrugged his arms. “Have you eaten anything?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Not really, no,” you answered. “I took a painkiller but it’s not helping. It made me hazy, though.”

Buck stood there in silence for a while, looking as if he was thinking intensely about something.

“I have an idea,” he said finally. “Are you allowed to take baths in your state?” He asked and you laughed at him.

“Jesus, Gale, can you imagine not being allowed to take a bath when you’re bleeding for a few days straight?” You asked and he blushed adorably. It was quite cute how he was feeling uncomfortable with the subject of periods and how little he did know about them… yet, he still tried to help.

“Let’s run you a bath then,” he nodded.

“Gale, please…” You sighed. “Baby, you’re tired after work. Just make yourself sandwiches and get some rest, too,” you tried to stop him.

“I’m fine,” he assured you. “Come,” he approached you and picked you up bridal style with the blanket still around you. You squeezed it in your fist so it wouldn’t fall down and let him carry you to the bathroom upstairs.

Buck sat you carefully on the closed toilet seat and turned the faucet on to fill the bathtub with the warm water. He opened one of the drawers of your bathroom cabinet and hummed to himself.

“What kind of bath do you want?” He asked, unsurely.

“What do you mean by that?” You leaned back, resting your head on the cold bathroom tiles.

“You have all sorts of things here… Rose, lavender, vanilla…” He read the words on the bottles of your bath oils.

“Lavender helps,” you told him and Buck nodded his head.

He took the bottle out and you watched him carefully tilting it above the bathtub… only to pour half of it inside the water. You gasped.

“What?” He turned his head around, startled by the sound leaving your mouth.

“You’re supposed to add a few drops…” You sighed, too tired to get annoyed. Also, getting annoyed when he was trying so hard to help you would be simply unfair.

“I’m sorry… Should I run another bath now?” He asked.

“Don’t be crazy. You’ve no idea how much money you’ve just poured down there,” you let out a tired chuckle.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Buck closed the lid and put the bottle back in the drawer. “But is it safe to bathe in it now?”

“Only one way to find out, is it?” You shrugged your arms.

Buck approached you to help you stand up but you shook your head.

“No, no,” you stood up by yourself on shaky legs. “I don’t… I don’t want you to see…” You explained shyly.

“It’s just some blood, I can handle it, baby,” he assured you but he was blushing again.

“Please, just leave me here and go downstairs to eat something,” you told him. “I’ll be fine.”

“Actually, I’ll go to the store,” he stated. “I’ll buy us some proper dinner and I’ll be back in twenty minutes. You won’t drown in the meantime, will you?”

“Don’t be daft, I’m not a baby,” you smiled at him and he nodded.

Buck left the bathroom and when you were left alone there, you allowed the blanket to fall down on the floor. Then you got rid of the rest of the clothes and went inside the bathtub, sighing out of relief at the feeling of the warm water.

You were sitting there for so long that the water turned cold, however you felt too comfortable to leave. It was Buck’s soft knocking upon the door that made you finally move.

“I’m back. Are you alive there?” He asked through the door.

“Yes, I’m about to leave now,” you answered.

“Alright. I have chicken,” he told you. “Do you want tea?”

“Yes, please.”

You heard his footsteps going downstairs as you watched the water go down the drain before you stood up, grabbed a towel and dried yourself before putting dark underwear, a black nightgown and a robe that you had in the bathroom cabinet. You put the dress and underwear you had been wearing earlier to the laundry bin and picked up the blanket to fold it and take it with you downstairs to put it back in the living room.

You felt so much better after your bath, you had to admit it. Your hair was wet but you didn’t bother with drying it. It was around six in the evening and you already looked like you were about to go to sleep but you knew that Buck wouldn’t mind that at all.

And indeed, when you walked inside the kitchen, he didn’t even ask about it nor furrowed his brows at your nighttime attire. There was a chicken with mashed potatoes and a salad on the table already, alongside the tea he had made for you.

“I bought more of that lavender oil so you don’t run out of it,” Buck pointed at the unpacked groceries on the kitchen counter. “And something sweet for you,” he added. “The lady at the store was nosy, she asked me why I was buying chicken for dinner and was my wife sick so I told her the truth and she told me women like sweets when they have… those days,” his cheeks turned pink as he moved the chair for you and you sat down with a smile.

“She was right,” you told him.

“Oh, good, for a while I was scared she just wanted to swindle me to spend more money,” Buck chuckled and took a seat in front of you. “So, after all, she was helpful.”

“Yeah, I know what nosy lady you’re talking about,” you nodded at him. “She’s annoying but she’s also sweet. Hard to explain,” you giggled.

“And how do you feel now?”

“I feel much better, thank you,” you nodded and reached your hand out to caress his and give it a light squeeze before you both started to eat the chicken.

Buck was telling you about his day at work and you were listening with a slight smile. You would usually comment and ask questions or gasp at some things, demanding to know more gossip. But today you were just nodding your head and smiling, still listening but less attentively.

“I’m sorry, perhaps you’d rather eat in silence. You’ve mentioned getting a migraine before,” Buck shut his mouth suddenly.

“I would have told you if I wanted you to be quiet, baby. It’s fine,” you assured him. “And the migraine is gone now. The bath really helped me.”

“Well… I think I’ve already said everything anyway,” he laughed and stood up to get the empty plates from the table to put them in the sink. “I will wash them and you go upstairs and lay in bed. I’ll bring you the dessert when I’m done.”

“You’re absolutely the sweetest, you know that?” You asked him.

“I’m only taking care of you, darling. Like husbands do. You take care of me, too. Every day,” he looked like he didn’t understand why you were so grateful and it was making him even more special.

And he didn’t even know.

You wondered if his heart was truly so pure that he had no idea how other men could treat their wives. Whenever someone would mention some dreadful story of this sort, Buck would always widen his eyes as if he found it hard to believe. Perhaps he was truly that innocent and oblivious. Or he just couldn’t imagine being so cruel. Either way, he was a gem.

“I just love you so much,” you whispered, getting emotional. Most likely from the hormones.

“I love you, too,” he answered, a bit surprised. “Go upstairs, baby. Do you want me to carry you?”

“No, I will manage,” you stood up and kissed his cheek before leaving the kitchen.

In fact, you’d love him to carry you. But you didn’t want to bother him too much. So you just went to the bedroom and then you sighed at the sight of the freshly put white sheets. You had changed them in the morning, stupidly forgetting about your period coming soon.

With a grunt, you started to take them off. Your moves were slow and when Buck joined you upstairs, you were almost done.

“What are you doing?” He widened his eyes and put the tray he had been holding in his hands down on the vanity table.

“I put them on this morning but I have to change them now. I don’t want to stain them with blood,” you explained.

“You should have waited for me, I’ll do that,” Buck approached you and took the sheets from your hands. “Give that to me.”

“Buck, you’re a sweetheart, but I’m not dying or sick. I can do that, really,” you tried to assure him. “It’s not like it’s my first time having those days,” you explained, carefully avoiding the word period around him because you could only imagine how uncomfortable it would make him feel.

“You can help,” he agreed. “Give me the sheets you want me to put on,” he pointed to the wardrobe with his chin and you rolled your eyes before opening it and handing him the dark navy blue sheets. He gave you back the white ones and you folded them before putting them back.

When the bed was made, you sat under the cover and rested on the pillow. Your husband placed the tray in front of you and you smiled at the sight of a cake and some ice cream.

“Is it alright?” Buck asked.

“Yes, yes, it is,” you nodded with a smile and started to eat.

“By the way, I’m totally getting you a dishwasher,” he sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed and caressed your wet hair.

“Are you crazy? They're expensive!” You protested.

“But it’s going to make your life easier,” Buck pinched your cheek playfully. “You can’t say no, by the way, I’ve already made my decision.”

You didn’t say anything then and just finished eating as he watched you with admiration in his eyes. You offered him a few bites and he agreed to take them but most of the dessert was yours to eat on your own. When you were finished, you laid down, ready to take a nap. Buck took the tray from the bed and leaned in to place a kiss upon your forehead.

“Sweet dreams, baby,” he whispered softly.

“Well, then, my dreams better be of you,” you smiled at him lovingly, “if you want them to be sweet.”

Buck winked at you and went back downstairs to take the tray down. You were starting to fall asleep by the time he was back to lay down next to you and hold you close, making you feel loved and taken care of.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

#sansaorgana: Answered #lovely anons #*buck #lilysfiction #austin butler x reader #gale cleven x reader

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duchess-kyuupid · 1 year

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So I had an idea, what if reader was the magicless student and didn't feel like going home because they knew they were dead in their old world?

So one day a friend asks, "What do you think you'd do if you got back home?"

And reader just replies nonchalantly with a straight face with, "Probably lie in a coffin six feet under."

The friend thinks they are joking but little do they know...

Could it be with Ace and whoever else you'd think best fit the scenario? Thanks! <3

Hello anon! Sorry this literally took forever (-ω-、) At first I had a hard time trying to figure out how to put it all together and who to do lmao I think I ended up doing pretty good, if I do say so myself (maybe a little bit overboard as it went on, though? Like the request looks like it's supposed to at least be a little bit funny but my brain says 'haha sad reader go brrr') Either way, I hope that you enjoy, darling <333

~ "I'm probably never going back." With Ace, Kalim, and Grim ~

[Angst to fluff, Platonic Grim, Gn! reader]

Ace

"So," Ace started, munching on his sandwich, "What d'ya go to the Headmaster for this time? You get stuck with another random job again?" he asks with a sinister innocent smile on his face as he eyes your own lunch.

"Actually, we were discussing the prospects of me going home," you stated nonchalantly, casually sliding your plate of food closer to yourself, knowing full well that Ace really only started this conversation to get you distracted so that he could get at your cherry pie (which the chefs had made specifically for you, as a thanks for helping keep the fireplaces warm over winter break).

Now, while you had certainly noticed that Ace was after your food (you were used to it already, after dealing with Grim after all of this time), you had failed to notice the way that Ace's smile fell off of his face for the faintest moment after he heard the words 'home' leaving your mouth, but he was quick to regain his notorious smile before you could see his disappointment. And in an act to tease you a bit (and to rid himself of the unknown feelings bubbling in the pit of his stomach), he brazenly chuckles and states without thinking,

"Ha, I bet that old man probably told you to give it up. Like, what would you even do if you got back home?" Without a second beat you tell him with a straight face,

"I'd probably just be six-feet under."

"Right?" Ace agrees with a hearty chuckle. And he sees that you still for a second, lowering your head and taking a deep breath for a moment. In that quick moment of you losing concentration, Ace swipes the last remaining bite of your cherry pie with a cheeky smirk.

"So that's why I'm probably never going back," you clear your throat and look at Ace with a sad smile, tears brimming your eyes. And suddenly, Ace feels really, really guilty. He was just trying to lighten the mood by joking with you...about going home...

Ugh, how could he have messed this up, worse? It's impossible, I tell you! Ace knows that you've just been suddenly thrust into a world that you know nothing about, forced to attend a school where you barely even meet the minimum for the curriculum, and, to make matters even better for you, you're basically forced into doing whatever that Headmaster of the school tells you to, simply because he was just kind enough to let you stay at the school since you hadn't even a penny to your name nor your nonexistent family in this world.

Not only that, but you're also the prefect of this new dorm without any magic at all, and you're supposed to keep an eye on this random cat that nearly ruined the Orientation ceremony. And! You've also got to handle both him and Deuce, also known as the chaos duo to everyone who knows them. And he just stole the last piece of your cherry pie, which was honestly something that you more than deserve after all the shit that you've gone through. We all know that you weren't crying because of him stealing your pie, but this fact really was just the cherry on top of his sundae of regret.

So yeah, just label him as Dumbass #1 in your book, if he isn't already.

And he's not sure why he was surprised to see those tears in your eyes, but he was, and he's ashamed at the fact that he's never noticed how you've felt before. So in a frantic motion to fix things, Ace stands up quickly, saying a quick excuse to you about accidentally leaving something in his last class or something, and excusing himself from the lunch table before you could even react.

You honestly didn't know where he went after he left you at lunch, because he wasn't in any of his classes for the remainder of the day. It was only after classes, as you were walking back to Ramshackle with Grim, that you saw him next. He was standing in front of your front door with a nervous look on his face, but he was dressed quite nicely. Not quite formal attire, but it looked like he was expecting to go somewhere, at the very least. Once he saw you approaching, his face brightened for a moment, with a slight blush cropping up on his cheeks as you ask him what he's been doing all day.

"Well," he starts with a chuckle and his infamous smile, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I got permission from the Headmaster for us to leave campus for a while, so why don't we go check out some stores at the village nearby? I thought that maybe I'd show you around, since you'd probably beg me to keep you from getting lost anyway... Oh, and don't worry about paying for anything, I have it allll covered." He says that last part with extra emphasis and a more confident smile than before, hoping that that would be the ticket to getting you to agree. Little did he know, you were going to agree even if he wasn't going to buy you anything. And little did you know that one of the biggest reasons why he's decided to do all of this can be explained through one simple sentence: 'I want you to start liking this world more than your own.'

In truth, he'd struck a deal with Azul again in exchange for enough cash to buy whatever you wanted from any store (he's got a lot of work cut out for him in the upcoming future), but shh, you didn't need to know that. It would be all worth it if it means that you can get a chance at starting a normal life here...

And perhaps, maybe one day you might want to start living your new life with him by your side.

Kalim

Oh, Kalim. This epitome of sunshine was sharing everything about his family, his childhood, and his homeland to you with so much enthusiasm that you felt yourself feeling the twang of homesickness starting to erupt in your heart. But of course, this always happens with Kalim, doesn't it? First, he hurt the one who he's always adored as a brother- Jamil, and now, he's hurting you too, all without realizing it. You could never blame him for it, though. His genuine happiness and warmth was something that you looked forward to every day, and most of the time just being around him felt like you were basking in the sun on a cold day.

But, sometimes the warmth that he radiates so fervently starts to feel like too much, as if you were being scorched alive under the unbearable heat of the sun.

"So," Kalim says, taking a moment to catch his breath, "I think that's all of my brothers and sisters, plus all of my extended family too! We're a big family, so I know it's a lot, haha! Say, what's your family like?" he innocently asks with bright, expectant eyes.

And you know that he doesn't mean to do this to you, but you can't deny that right now you felt like his beautiful red eyes were burning themselves into your soul like a branding iron. You don't want to make it sound like you blame him for your predicament or his enthusiasm about his family, so you give him the best smile you can muster and divert the subject to the best of your ability.

"Well, they're really not as important as yours is. Can you tell me more about how the Asim family started out? Your family must have a lot of really interesting history."

"Oh, sure!" Kalim nods happily to your request, forgetting his own question shortly after as he continues in his own rant about his gigantic family and some of the more interesting parts of its history.

At this point, Jamil really couldn't bear to listen to this anymore. He's been quietly watching and listening in on your conversation with Kalim from his seat in the corner of the room, where he was supposed to be 'studying'. Jamil sees that Kalim's doing the same thing to you as what happened to him, and decides to step into your conversation. 'Might as well go ahead and rip the band-aid off before it gets to the point of no return,' Jamil thinks.

"Hey," he begins, cutting Kalim off mid-sentence, "Do you have any sort of plans for when you get to go home? If you can go home?"

And Kalim looks at you with a surprised look on his face at Jamil's question for you because of course you'd want to stay here in Twisted Wonderland with him and everyone else! He'd never thought of the idea that you'd ever want to go back home to your original world, Kalim felt like it was just a given that you'd want to stay even if you had the choice to leave. But now that he thinks about it a little more, he doesn't understand where he even got that idea from to begin with. After all, as someone who cares for his family and his homeland a great deal, he can kindof understand how you might feel after being torn away from all of that without any way of returning.

"Haha, well," you chuckle heartlessly, "I'm probably never going back anyway. I think if I went back home now I'd just be six-feet under or something." Your attempt to lighten the mood with your 'joke' fails when you hear the sound of your own voice saying it. You would be lying to yourself if you tried to claim that, no, your voice wasn't shaky, and that yes, you were completely fine with never seeing your family ever again. Jamil makes a comment that he was going to grab something to drink from the kitchen, leaving you in a moment of silence with Kalim following your rather dark 'joke.'

"Well, what's the harm in trying anyway?" Kalim asks softly, "You never know unless you try! Plus, even if it doesn't work out, at least you can say that you've given it your all, right?"

"That's the FUCKING problem," you snap, "I've BEEN trying to go back home, and nothing's ever working! And there's no way in hell I'm just going to give up and go ~'Well at least I tried'~ when it's my goddamn LIFE on the line here!"

Oh no, you didn't mean to start yelling at Kalim like that... But after hearing his flippant "at least you've given you're all" comment, all of the pent-up emotions just felt like they were going to explode if they were kept inside any longer. You feel bad for suddenly yelling at him, but at the same time, it felt like the water gates have finally opened, and before you knew it, more kept spilling from your mouth.

"I had a normal life back in my world, you know! I had people who cared for me, I had plans for the future that I painstakingly paved the road for for my entire fucking life. Everything that I've done in my life up to this point, it's all become utterly useless now that I've come here," you wailed, tears escaping your eyes as you spoke without constraint, "Can you imagine how it feels to have everything stolen away from you, Kalim? All of the people that I've created my childhood memories with, they're all gone! My scholarships, my college applications, my work experience- nonexistent! Hell, if you want to get into the legalities of it, I technically have never gone to school in my life before attending NRC because I never existed in this world before then." You take a breath to help calm yourself down, but after still feeling the flames of rage bubbling in your lungs, you continue to vent out your feelings.

"Do you know how it feels, Kalim, to have no idea whether the people you love know if you're dead or alive? To have to think about how they would react to my 'death' when I'm still kicking and screaming inside another world?! To have to think about everything that you've been forced to leave behind all of a sudden?" You're basically screaming out your frustrations to the sky now, as you couldn't bear to stare at Kalim as you cried out your miseries, "To have to think about the life you could be leading right now if you weren't dragged to some random world with no knowledge about it's countries, it's history, or even it's most fundamental principles like magic?"

Kalim's staring at you intensely, taking every single word you speak into account. Even as you got to the point where you couldn't speak clearly anymore, when you pushed yourself to where all you could do was sob, snivel, and blubber out your words of woe, Kalim sat there listening to you the whole way through.

At some point during your crying, Kalim pulled you gently into his arms in a tight embrace as he let you continue to let your feelings out. He was going to wait until it was all out before he even tried to say anything (reason one being, because it would be rather rude to interrupt you, and two is because he's been rather notorious for crying when he sees other people cry and he didn't want to make the crying spotlight on him)

When you were finally done, Kalim patted your head soothingly and spoke quietly. His own voice was shaky too, and he was also on the verge of tears just from watching and listening to you.

"I never knew you felt like that, I'm sorry for not realizing it earlier," he says, and just the sound of him trying to keep in his tears breaks your heart to pieces.

Your pain is his pain, your tears are his tears, and your smile is his smile because, even if he doesn't realize it yet, he truly loves you dearly. Kalim knows he can be really, really dense most of the time, which is why he never noticed these pent-up frustrations of yours when they were so obvious to Jamil, but he hopes that you'll forgive him for making you feel even worse.

"It's not your fault, Kalim. I'm not angry at you or anything- I'm sorry for yelling like that," you inhale, "It's just-... It just hurts, you know? Thinking about all of the what-ifs and the could-be's... But the truth is, I've had more fun in the short time that I've been here than in my entire life back home. And most of that's because of you, actually."

"Really?" he asks, a spark of his normal cheer returning to his voice.

"Yes, really. I might not be able to use magic, but it's been something that I've loved learning about since coming here. You know, the very first time you took me on a ride with the magic carpet, and I got to see this whole new world from way high up in the sky, I knew that nothing from my home could beat that experience. I'm going to miss my home, but it's not so bad when I know that you're here."

Oh, look at you- you were the one who just had an emotional breakdown right in front of Kalim, and yet you're the one consoling him! Your sweet words struck through his heart like cupid's arrow, and he internally vows that he will always be someone who brings a smile to your face- that he will do everything that he can to make sure that you're happy.

"Then," he perks up, wiping his face from any stray tears that might have escaped from earlier, "Let's go on another carpet ride together, outside of campus!" He exclaims excitedly, all hints of previous sadness gone from his eyes and voice.

"There's so many places I want to show you, but I think we should look for spots that look like your home! This world is a pretty big place, so I'm sure there must be somewhere that looks similar to yours. Tell me everything about your homeland- If we can't find something like it, then we'll just have to make it ourselves!"

Grim

It was in the midst of winter break that you started to feel more lonely. All of your other friends were gone and spending the holidays with their families, while you were still here at the school with your only company being Grim and the Ramshackle ghosts, who would come and go as they pleased. Everything was just so,, quiet, without the chaos duo Deuce and Ace around. Of course, Grim was almost always up to his own little shenanigans too, but most of the time they were harmless and it was just him entertaining himself with catching mice and such.

The silence of the winter break and the bleakness of the white snow was staring to take a toll on you, and it wasn't helping the fact that you're still experiencing nightmares beyond what you see in the mirror at night (this is not a jab at you, I swear).

For reference, you just had a dream that woke you up in the middle of the night, sweating and gasping for air as you tried to recollect yourself. Of course, you couldn't fall back asleep after what you've just seen, and Grim was still sound asleep in his corner of the bed. Quietly, you move to get up to go get some fresh air outside- not forgetting to bring your jacket with you to the freezing cold weather out there.

And you spent a bit of time in the silence of the night, sitting on the stairs of the front porch of the Ramshackle dorm with a heavy jacket tied to your shoulders, just staring up into the sky. This isn't the first time that this has happened, so you know that looking at the stars would usually help you out in times like these.

'I can see the stars so clearly from here. Back home, the stars would be so dim that most nights you could hardly see them because of all of the lights around.'

'Huh, I wonder what kind of constellations this world has thought up of. That kinda looks almost like a horse, if you look at it sideways.'

'I wonder what kind of galaxy this world is in. The Milky Way was nice and all, but something different could be nice, too.'

Those would be the kind of thoughts that would help calm you down after your nightmares and you'd start feeling sleepy again. You'd go back inside, maybe drink a little bit of water, and then delve underneath the covers of your bed and go to back to sleep.

But this time, though, you could hardly focus on anything else except for the contents of your dream. No matter how intently you stared into the night sky, there was nothing else that you could think of other than, 'It was just so realistic.'

"Hey, hench-human! There you are! 'Was wonderin' where ya went so late at night. Come back in already, you let the fireplace in the room die out and now the whole room's gone cold again," you hear Grim calling out to you from the now open door of the Ramshackle dorm.

"Sorry Grim, I'll be back inside in just a bit, just gimmie a minute, alright?"

"What? You're just gonna sit outside in this cold?" Grim exclaims, "What are ya even doing out here anyway?" And you hear Grim's paws tapping on the old wooden flooring as he scampers his way to you.

"Couldn't sleep, so I went out for some fresh air, that's all."

"Oh yeah? Had another dream about the Great Seven? Or was it that Mickey dude in the mirror again?" He pushes your arms away from your legs and jumps into your lap without another thought. If he was going to wait for you to get up and relight the fireplace, he was at least going to wait somewhere that's nice and warm- your lap.

"Actually," you clear your throat, "not this time, no."

"Then what's up?" And he just said it so casually, like either he knew that something was bothering you and he wanted to make the conversation comfortable enough to talk about it- that or he's just completely unable to read a room (which was honestly the more likely option). Either way, it made you pause for a moment, to think about whether you wanted to answer his question honestly or make up some sort of lie about it.

"I'm thinking about whether I should just go ahead and tell Crowley to give up on looking for my way back home," you admit, deciding on telling him half-truths for now. But your comment caught him off guard, and he looks back at you with surprise. "Huh, why would ya do that?" he asks.

"Well, I mean I'd probably just be lying six feet under if I do manage to go back, so what's the point in having Crowley waste his time on this? Besides, he's been using it as an excuse to make me us do all of his dirty work for him, and I don't want to be indebted to him anymore than I already am."

"Well, I guess that does make sense, but still, haven't you been wantin' to go home this whole time? What's with you givin' up now?" he grumbles.

"Awe, I had no idea that you hated me this much," you joke, "To think, that even my closest friend even wants me gone from this world! Oh, woe is me!"

"Hey, you know it ain't like that, henchman!" Grim pushes you playfully, "I'll have you know that, unlike SOME people, I care about my minions. If ya wanna go home, then you should keep tryin' to find a way back, especially if there's someone else doin' all the work for you."

"That's sweet of you to say, but I'm probably never going back."

"What makes you so sure?" And you don't say anything to his question, not for a while. Grim notices your silence and concludes his statement, "Well, if that's what you want, then alright. It just means that you'll be here to see me become the greatest mage in the world!"

"Mhm," you nod sluggishly, and the conversation goes quiet from there. Now, the heavy silence of the winter night fell upon the both of you, the only sounds being the creaking of the old wooden planks of the Ramshackle dorm, the frostbitten wind blowing through the air, and the soft shuffling of you petting through Grim's fur as he sits idly in your lap. The silence didn't bother either of you much, as Grim was nearly falling back to sleep with the soft movements of your hands brushing him and the warmth from your lap keeping the cold at bay. But as time continued to pass, your anxious thoughts started clouding the deep recesses of your mind once again and you felt compelled to speak upon them.

"Grim, I know that you're a monster and everything, but do you know anything about reading a human's pulse?" you speak suddenly, and he flinches awake at your question, rubbing his eyes tiredly as you continue without letting him answer, "You can find your heart rate just by pressing on your wrist, or placing these fingers against your neck, like this." And you demonstrated both actions to him.

"Grim,, I," your voice chokes up, "I can't feel my pulse... Earlier I had another nightmare, and I saw myself dying. In my world... It was so realistic, I..." Tears start erupting from your eyes as you recall the vivid memory, and Grim stares at you with wide eyes as you continue, "When I woke up, I felt like I could still feel the pain. It was so excruciating, I felt like I was going to throw up, so I came out here."

Your body was shivering uncontrollably with how you were trying to keep your tears in as you spoke, and you pull Grim closer to you in a hug close to your chest, "Grim, please tell me. Do you hear anything? Anything at all? Even if you lie to me, please just tell me that you can hear my heartbeat."

Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

"I can hear it," Grim states seriously (I mean, after seeing the state you're in, it would be more than a little rude if he wasn't serious), "And I'm not lyin' to ya. It's super cold out here, which is probably why ya can't feel it, but you do have a heartbeat. I promise you, you're alive, right here, with me." He wasn't expecting this, but he tries his best to comfort you, though really he has no idea about what to do or what to say. But as awkward as his words come out as, it still works to help you calm down after a while. He waits until your breathing starts to slow down and your tears have stopped spilling.

"Henchman, I'm startin' to feel hungry for a midnight snack," he states, "I know you're hungry too, so let's go sneak into the cafeteria and see what they've got!" And he leaps off of your lap and looks at you with his bright blue eyes, "We can warm up by its fireplace while we're there too."

As he starts dragging you towards the school, he turns to look at you and he says, "The way I see it, the way you still get hungry or thirsty is how we know that you're still alive. You wouldn't need to eat or sleep if you were dead, like the ghosts, now would'ya? You really need to stop overthinking things like this, givin' me a heart attack when you start cryin' outta nowhere like that..."

~~~~~~

I accidentally wrote a whole mini-story for them, no wonder this request took so long </33 I really hope that you enjoyed reading this, anon! While I did have trouble at the beginning, things started falling into place as I kept writing 👏👏

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astarionxhappiness · 2 months

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Astarion going to a nearby stream to bathe to stumble upon a naked and very embarrassed Tav who had similar ideas? 😛

A/N Well, This one really got away from me haha! But I hope it is to your liking. Thank you for the request! I had a ton of fun writing this <3 Word count: Little over 6,000 Warnings: Smut. Handjob. Some fingering. Astarion should probably be a warning in of himself, let's be honest here. And some fluff to sprinkle on top.

It had been a very long day of traveling, and the sun was starting to wane by the time the tents finally went up.

You had just reached the end of the mountain pass, setting up in a small valley that was, to your great pleasure, a very close travel to a hot spring a little ways into the woods.

The others had already had their turn bathing and enjoying the hot water, each taking turns to finish the work while still getting to enjoy the relaxing waters. And now, it was your turn to finally slip away. You informed Shadowheart of your leaving, feeling her squeeze your arm in fond passing as you headed off. You could hear the crickets starting to come alive as you trapsed towards your greatly anticipated destination.

Already you could feel the tension of a hard day's work leaving your shoulders the closer you got.

You let out a relieved sigh as you laid eyes on the large spring, watching a light layer of mist dancing across the top where the hot water met the cool evening air.

You moved over to the edge of it, finding a large rock to sit on and place your clothes and towel down.

You made quick work of brushing out your hair before standing to work on stripping off your clothes, dropping your weapon down beside the pile.

You let out a sigh as you shut your eyes, slipping down into the water until it reached just below your nose, letting your head hang back slightly as you let it take away the chill of the early spring air.

You were left peacefully for only a few minutes before the sound of rustling alerted you to the presence of something close by.

Staying almost completely submerged, you opened your eyes wearily as you looked around, though nothing out of the ordinary met your inquisitive gaze.

You took in a deep breath, assuming it to be nothing more than a rabbit, or perhaps a rodent of some kind. Whatever it was, it made very little noise.

You slipped under the water completely, eyes falling shut as you lingered like this for a time before coming back up, taking in a gasping breath.

you flipped your hair back behind you, wiping the water from your eyes before allowing them to come open as you stood up.

"Fuck!" You cried out in alarm when you looked over to see a tall pale figure leaning against a tree off to your right near the water, though far enough away that he was not easily attacked.

A smart move, on his part.

The pale elf's lips curled into a smirk as your cheeks went bright red, hands coming to cover yourself as best as possible.

"Astarion! What are you doing out here?" You demanded."How long have you been standing there??" You added with equally vehement embarrassment.

"I assure you my intentions were nothing more than pure, darling," he assured. "I merely came to bathe myself-" He waved a gesturing hand to his upper half, which you realized only then was devoid of clothing. "Though, I have to admit, darling" He went on, that infuriatingly self-approving smile never leaving his lips. "I'm afraid I cannot say I am disappointed in finding the waters already occupied. . "

His words made you only blush harder, though you kept your head stuck up with indignant determination.

"You still didn't answer my question," You stated, ignoring the flirtations that made your cheeks heat up further (a reaction Astarion did not fail to notice).

He chuckled, moving closer so he could lower his voice without causing difficulty for you to hear.

"Oh, not too long, I assure you, my sweet." He moved ever closer, curious to see if you would shrink back, or stay stubbornly in place in all your naked glory.

He was pleased to find it was ladder.

"As I said. . I just came to enjoy the water, darling." He lowered his tone to a smooth purr as he got closer to you, listening to your breath hitch slightly from the proximity, all too aware that your ass was on perfect display due to the angle at which he approached.

you couldn't help your gaze slipping down to glimpse at his finely chiseled chest, your mind wandering to what it might look like dripping wet. .

You bit your lip absently, then belatedly realized that the object of your involuntary lust was right in front of you with two perfectly functioning eyes.

He smiled more, your look not going unnoticed by the vampire spawn.

"I am happy to share the waters if you'd like, darling," He went on, stepping closer to you. "After all, it is always more fun with two. . " It was then that you deemed the close proximity a little too close, and took a flustered step backwards, huffing as you did so. You watched as he laughed, seeming to be enjoying his teasing quite a bit.

"You go on the other side," You decided, gesturing with your head. "I am almost finished anyways I suppose, and I don't imagine a slothful vampire spawn such as yourself would really want to make the journey all the way back to camp just to come right back in ten minutes." Your vague insult to his laziness made him feign offense, his hand coming up over his heart.

"And yet, you would make me travel all the way to the other side of the spring?" The objection that his offense seemed to zero in on took you off guard, making your hands nearly falter in covering yourself. He smiled as he noted your surprise.

"Very well. . But if you change your mind . ." He stepped closer, moving in a way that had your shoulders nearly brushing, causing your breath to stutter distractedly as his head leaned to the side lazily, his lids lulling as he looked at you. ". . I'm but a call away, beautiful." He sauntered on the edge of the water line, his back turned to you as he walked off to his designated part of the spring.

You shut your eyes, taking a moment to regain yourself mentally.

You had thus far managed to resist his flirtatious temptations, but lately you had found your resolve slowly. . Faltering.

You melted back down under the water, unable to help your eyes wandering over to his form, his back still turned to you as he finished taking off the rest of his clothing.

You quickly averted your gaze just as he began to turn, listening to the shifting of the water as he stepped into it.

You sunk down absently, unable to help one more glance once he was seated, water covering him from the mid torso and down. When you saw him not looking at you, your quick glance became a rude stare.

His back was resting against a large rock, the top of his head resting against it as well, showing off his jaw at an angle that only sharpened and defined it more. . His strong arms were stretched out, resting comfortably against the edge of the same rock.

You slipped down further absentmindedly in your sport as you played with your hair, ever distracted. So distracted, in fact, that you did not realize that going down any further than you already had been would lead to you inhaling water.

You came back up choking, trying to clear the invasion from your lungs and sinuses, making Astarion lift his head to look at you inquisitively.

You cursed his ability to see so well in the shrouded evening light, knowing full well he would be able to make out the embarrassment etched on to every inch of your face.

"Doing alright other there, love?" He asked. "Do you need someone to come hold you to help you avoid drowning?"

You gave him a death glare as you continued choking and coughing up the last bits of water.

"It wouldn't be a problem if-" You cut off, looking away as you continued to clear your throat.

"If? I'm sorry, darling. You really are quite far away, I'm afraid I can't hear you very well." The words were a lie to say the least, and the smile on his face told you he was fully aware of this fact.

Still, you found yourself for some reason taking the bait.

"If you are that hard of hearing, then by all means, come closer." The words left your mouth dryly.

"Well, if you insist. . " Your eyes widened as he began to rise from his spot, your head quickly turning just as his waist appeared from the water that kept him covered.

You absently pulled your knees up to cover your body self consciously, keeping your head turned as you listened all too intently to the sound of the elf approaching you with all the confidence of a whore in a brothel.

You felt your cheeks heating up again as he settled but a few feet to your left. "Well, that's better," He said, letting out a sigh as if winded from the journey. "I can hear you much better now. "Well then, what were we talking about, my sweet?"

You cleared your throat, looking over at him and freezing to find him even closer than you had anticipated.

He was already looking looking back at you, locking eyes instantly. You swallowed thickly, lips parting slightly, intending to speak, but finding yourself too distracted to actually get anything out. He was doing nothing to cover himself beneath the water, as you were doing yourself. You did everything in your power to ignore this knowledge, continuing to lock eyes with him as if scared you would have no control to where your gaze went if you broke the contact. "Something on your mind, darling?" He asking with false innocence, turning his upper half to face you, giving you his full and undivided attention.

You cleared your throat, mouth shutting as you looked away, blushing harder.

"You are just- very naked," You found yourself saying, as if he wasn't aware of this fact. A shiver ran down your spine listening to him laugh.

"Well, as are you, darling" He pointed out, his tone never losing that velvety note that worked so well to pull you in.

He shifted a bit closer, the water softly sloshing around his body as he did so.

"You know, I have always found it easier to bathe with someone," He went on, sounding more casual and matter-of-fact this time.

"Perhaps, so long as we are here together- we could . . Be of use to one another, hm? What do you say, beautiful? Assuming you could keep your embarrassment in check, that is," He smiled teasingly, making you look over at him.

"Be of use to one another?" You repeated, deadpanned.

"Hmm, yes." He gave a nod, going on to explain as he edged a little closer. "I could wash your back, you could wash mine. . What do you say, darling? I think this arrangement would work quite nicely." he ended the sentence with little space between you.

You bit your lip, staring at him distractedly.

". . just backs," You replied uncertainly, not entirely sure why you were agreeing to this ludicrous offer.

He smiled, fangs showing as his gaze fell absently to your lips, then back up to meet your gaze.

"As you wish," He replied readily.

"And, if you decide you'd like me to wash other parts of you . . I could always be easily swayed." You went to look down when your embarrassment got to you again, flushing violently as you quickly rethought this action and instead hung your head back to stare up at the sky.

"Just- shut up and turn around, you filthy elf," You replied with lightheartedness despite the obvious sheepishness you were feeling. He grinned, doing as he was told.

You grabbed the supplies you had set beside you on the dry ground, taking a cloth and bar of soap in either hand.

"I hope you intend to get your hair wet by the end of this," You commented as you went to work on his shoulders, eyes gazing down at the horrific scars painting his back. the sight of them always made your stomach churn.

Despite your somewhat combative and teasing relationship, you cared about Astarion a great deal. To think about all he had went through. . It made you dream about getting to inflict similar horrors upon Cazador.

"You are free to clean whatever part of me you'd like, my sweet." His teasing comment snapped you from your distracting thoughts, making you nudge his shoulder.

"Was this your actual plan?" You mused. "Walk in on me bathing so that you could get me to wash you so you wouldn't have to do the work yourself?" You couldn't see his face, but you knew he was smiling at the question.

"That would be quite a brilliant plan, wouldn't it? You do have a certain way about you, darling. Your touch is quite thrilling to experience, should one be so lucky to have the opportunity." You hesitated in your motions for a moment, biting your lip before continuing on, absently rubbing his muscles as you worked, easing the tension in his body.

You heard a soft gasp leave his lips as his head hung forward, making you hesitate once more in your motions.

"Did that hurt?" You ask, looking him over uncertainly.

"Quite the contrary, in fact," He breathed.

You can't help but smile to yourself, wordlessly starting again. The two of you fell into an amicable silence, an occurrence that was quite strange to experience with the vampire.

The only sounds that filled the air was the occasional gentle sighs of pleasure from him as you worked.

You got rather caught up in the sensation, his cool skin feeling pleasant in contrast to the hot water that covered your stomach and legs, the sensation of his muscles relaxing beneath your touch giving you a certain gratification.

You took in a deep breath, sighing softly, feeling content.

"We should do your hair," You said after a time, thoughtless to the fact that he could in fact do this himself quite easily.

"So I suppose we are doing more than just backs, hm?" He replied with a teasing, flirtatious smile tossed over his shoulder.

"Unless you'd rather do it yourself," You retorted, giving him a flat look. The corner of your lips tugged upwards into a fond smile however, matching the glint in your eye that gave away your true feelings on the matter.

Though you wouldn't dare tell the cocky bastard, you had always wanted to run your hands through his hair. It just looked so. . soft. silky. . .

You watched him move to a deeper part of the spring to slip under it easier, bending forward to soak his head before moving back over to face his back to you once more.

You managed to get halfway through the process seamlessly before you accidentally tugged a bit on his hair, and froze at the soft moan that left his lips as his head fell back ever so slightly against the touch.

The reaction . . did things to you.

You forced in a deep breath as you slowly resumed lathering soap into his hair, ignoring the stirring anticipation in your stomach. You found your fingers wandering distractedly, letting them run down the nape of his neck, shuddering as another breath left his lips. "Okay- you're done," You gasped out when you felt this one go alarmingly between your legs.

You gave his back a gentle push towards the deeper part of the spring for good measure.

He glanced behind him to look at you, his eyes falsely inquisitive, reading your face like a book.

You stared at him with growing sheepishness before you couldn't handle the tension building between the two of you, and proceeded to slip further under the water, bringing a foot up instead to nudge him with. A small, meek plea to make him stop looking at your red face.

This earned an amused smile from him, and he went willingly to go rinse his hair.

You watched with far more interest than you cared to admit, unable to tear your eyes away as he resurfaced, running a hand over the front of his hair to stop water from falling into his eyes.

You wondered how a man that had not seen himself for two hundred years still managed to show himself to others with so much confidence.

"Your turn, then, darling?" He said as he moved back over through the water, making you swallow thickly.

He moved to sit in front of you, staring at you intently.

"We can do it this way, if you'd rather not turn around," He said after a stretch of silence, making your brain reactivate.

"Right, sorry," you breathed, flushing at your mistake.

You turned yourself in a manner that was careful not to show off your breasts in the process, leaning your head forward as you shut your eyes, finding your stomach twisting anxiously in anticipation waiting for his touch.

You shuddered when it was finally received. This soft brush of his fingertips running down the back of your arm, followed by the sensation of him brushing your wet hair over either one of your shoulders.

"That’s better," He purred, letting wet hands run over your shoulder shoulder blades.

He hummed when he felt goosebumps rise across your skin, your body hot and reactive.

He grabbed the soap, lathering it on his hands, rather than using the bar as you had done.

"I must warn you, darling. . I can be quite thorough." He murmured the last part near your ear, making your body shudder as he brought his hand to run down your spine, watching in satisfaction as it instinctually arched against his touch.

he worked deft fingers along your upper half above the water line, rubbing your muscles in the most pleasing of ways.

"'Starion," You breathed before you could stop yourself when you felt his hands slip down to grasp your waist, his thumbs pressing softly into the divot in your lower back.

"Yes, my sweet?" He purred, feeling your hips shift against his embrace.

You blushed realizing you had not spoken his name out of the intent of starting a conversation, but out of something far more carnal.

You bit your lip, trying to think of something to say.

"Uh. . " Your mind trailed off as your head absently leaned to the side when you felt one of his hands leave your hip to go to recollecting your hair when a few strands strayed from where he had put it over your shoulder.

He did not concern himself waiting for you to think of something to stay, instead he went to letting his soapy hand run up the side of your exposed neck, listening to your breath hitch as his palm moved to run over your throat, his thumb grazing over your pulse.

He felt your head tilt back willingly, his eyes roaming the side of your neck with growing hunger.

he let his hand fall from your throat, grabbing the rag and dipping it under the water before using it to wash off the soap, meanwhile his other hand went to running up and down your hip in a motion that was decidedly more sexual than it was helpfully cleaning you off.

You could feel your heart beginning to pound in your chest, anticipation taking over your entire being as you resisted the urge to push back against him, wanting to know what it would feel like to have his chest pressed firmly against your back.

"Would you like me to give you more, darling?" He cooed, his lips close to your ear, making you shiver.

"I can give you everything you'd like. . You just have to say it for me, my love. " He let his lips brush against your earlobe, making a soft whine leave your lips before you could stop it.

"Oh, god. . " You couldn't resist your body's desire to press back against him when you felt a hand slip in front of you to press against your stomach.

You gasped at the sensation, listening to Astarion's breath hitch at the sudden feeling of your ass being pressed between his legs, your back warm and soft against his chest.

You looked up at him with darkened eyes, anticipation threaded into every nerve in your body as he looked down at you silently.

You both moved at the same time, meeting halfway to connect your lips in a heated, lustful kiss.

You brought your hand up to the back of his hair, tugging softly at the wet locks as you felt his hand slide from your stomach up to cup one of your breasts, his muscular arm resting across your torso.

His lips were cold, the taste of them positively intoxicating. "Astarion," You breathed, pulling away from him breathlessly as you regained some control over yourself.

"Yes, darling?" He let his lips fall down to kiss at your neck, resisting the urge to let his teeth sink into the soft flesh for just a small taste. . Your next words, however, had him freezing in every motion.

"Are you sure that you want this?"

You looked up at him as he pulled back, staring down at you with shock.

"What?" He finally questioned, frowning with a remarkable amount of skill.

"I just. . " You turned to face him, biting your lip as you cupped his jaw.

"I-. . I know you have things in your past that. . I just want to make sure you're okay with this. . That it is truly something that you want, because if it isn't, or if you aren't sure, we don't need to." You looked at him with tender, worried eyes, clearly uncertain about it.

He found himself unsure how to respond. No one had ever stopped to ask him such a question before. .

He looked at you silently, taking in the sensation of soft, warm skin. The tender stroke over your thumb against his cheek. Your imploring, gentle eyes.

You had moved your body away from his in a manner that left you touching him in a far more tender way than it was sexual, something he also was not used to receiving,

He felt his gaze fall downcast, letting his hand come to run up and down your waist tenderly.

You let him remain silent, allowing him the time he needed in order to get his thoughts together and truly think about his answer.

He looked up at you finally, bringing a finger to hook under your chin. "I want you," He replied finally, leaning forward to press his lips slowly to yours, making your eyes flutter shut.

"I want to feel you. . " He used the hand on your hip to gently but firmly pull you on to his lap.

"I want to taste you." He grasped your jaw with his thumb and index finger as he leaned up, sliding his tongue past your lips with dizzying skill.

You let your arms wrap around his shoulders, a hand coming into the back of his hair, tangling loosely into the wet locks as you wrapped your tongue around his.

You shifted your hips against his when you couldn't take the sensation of being still any longer, listening to the soft groan leave his throat as you did, encouraging you to roll your hips again.

You could feel him hardening beneath you, making your stomach twist and your clit throb.

Sharp fangs nipped your bottom lip when he failed to resist the urge to taste more than just your tongue. He sucked at the cut, dragging his tongue over it as he hummed softly, listening to you moan at the sensation.

You pulled away after a time, licking the drop of blood from your lip, watching him stare intently as you did so.

Wordlessly, you gathered your hair to one side, and tilted your head back to offer your neck to him should he want it, watching him fall forward with hunger.

He did not dive in fangs first, however. He brought his hand to the other side of your neck to grasp as he dragged his tongue over the soft, wet skin, flicking and swirling the muscle in a way that had you shuddering.

a whimper left your lips when you felt him finally sink his teeth slowly into the skin, your hands tightening softly against him as you let your hips roll against his to even out the pain.

Your eyes fell shut when he began to suck at the wounds, moaning against your neck as he used his hand to pull you closer to his mouth, making your breath hitch. You could feel your head fogging pleasantly the longer he went, his cock hardening beneath you.

You lifted yourself up off his lap slightly, bringing a hand down to wrap around his dick instead, making his body jolt softly at the unexpected touch.

"I want you to focus on your own pleasure," You breathed, eyes lulling shut.

Fuck he felt big in your hand. . .

The thought distracted you further from any pain he was causing by feeding, and the signs of his pleasure numbed the rest for you.

you slowly stroked your hand up to his head, pushing back down equally slow, setting a firm, deliberate pace that had him moaning and sighing in pleasure against your neck.

He only grew harder as you worked, your head feeling more and more dizzy as he continued to lap his tongue and suck against your throat.

"Star, ease up, love," You breathed finally when you felt it was starting to cause you problems.

He pulled away, dizzy with pleasure as he looked up at you, blood staining his lip, drizzling slightly down his chin.

You wiped away the blood before pushing your lips against his, picking up the pace of your hand, making him groan into your mouth.

you felt the ache between your legs only worsen, desperately wanting to feel him inside of you.

"Hm- fuck," You moaned against his lips when you felt his hand slip down to bring two fingers to rub your swollen clit. Your hips immediately reacted by grinding down against his fingers, your hand moving faster against his fully hard cock.

"You looked positively delicious, darling" He purred, his voice just a touch breathless from lust.

"You are going to feel so good, aren't you. ." He leaned down to lick the blood dripping down your neck, slipping his fingers down to tease your entrance and slowly pushing in. he replaced the attention to your clit with his palm as he did so, causing you to whimper and drop your forehead down against his shoulder.

He pressed his forehead against the side of your head, eyes shutting as he took in a deep breath, feeling your blood coursing through him, giving him strength he very much wanted to use to both your advantage. Still, he waited, finding he was rather enjoying the intimate position. Wanting to further this, he let off his teasing to grab your waist with one hand, using the other to taking yours off of his cock before letting it settle on your other hip to pull you back down against his lap.

thus settled, he wrapped his arms around your back, pressing you close as he took in a deep breath, inhaling your intoxicating scent as he rubbed his hand against your spine softly. You couldn't help but smile, rolling your hips slowly against his for a gentle pleasure to ease both your aching, enjoying the intimate position he had maneuvered the two of you into.

He took in a sharp gasp when your lips suddenly found his sweet spot at the crook of his neck, his arms tightening softly around you. You worked your tongue eagerly, wanting him to get as much pleasure out of the experience as possible.

He let a hand trail down while you did this, grabbing your ass and squeezing before pushing you down against his cock a little harder, groaning at the feeling as his eyes shut.

"Are you ready, love?" He breathed, knowing he was quite ready. You nodded as you looked up, cupping his face with two tender hands, shutting your eyes as you brush your nose against his before connecting your lips.

He helped you shift your hips, listening to a soft moan leave your lips as his tip slipped past your entrance, pushing into you ever so slowly.

He got roughly a quarter of the way in before you had to pause, feeling his fingers come down to rub your clit as you slowly moved up and down, whimpering as you took move of him inside of you.

You worked slowly, taking your time as you both simply enjoyed the sensation of it all. happy to forget the stresses that awaited you outside of this moment.

he opened his eyes when you broke the kiss to drop your head back instead when he was nearly fully inside of you, bouncing slowly as you worked on taking the last bit of him. Your back arched toward him when you finally managed it, a shuddered moan leaving your soft lips as your eyes rolled back.

you put your hands on his shoulders, feeling his hand squeeze your ass as you started to move up and down his length with a steady pace, connecting your lips once again as it slowly picked up heatedly.

You could feel him stretching you out in a way that made you ache for more, and yet feel incredibly satisfied just as you were.

Water sloshed around you as your pace gained speed, your breasts pressing firmly against him as you moved, rolling your hips in a way that had him groaning delights.

He grabbed the back of your wet hair, pulling softly as you did the same to his.

You were panting as you kept up the pace relentlessly, his own panting and moaning keeping you going even as you began to feel tired from the movement.

You gasped when he suddenly grabbed your hips, pulling you off his cock completely and without warning as he made you stay high enough that he could attack your breasts lustfully for a heated minute before turning you in the water, putting you beneath him.

"Surely you did not think I would let you do all the work tonight, did you, my sweet?" He asked as he hooked your leg with his under the water, towering over you with a dominance that had a shiver running down your spine.

"I wouldn't have mind," You replied distractedly, though your words were quite genuine. You were breathless as you stared up at him, eyes meeting his steadily.

the response made him smirk, chuckling as he leaned down to kiss you, pushing back into you at the same time.

The motion caused a moan to force its way from your lips, your body writhing beneath him as you brought your leg up higher to wrap around his waist.

his lips trailed down to your neck again after a time, sucking down the last remnants of blood that drove his lust even further.

his hips snapped against yours powerfully, hitting deep inside of you with each thrust,

"be a good girl," He breathed, pressing his forehead against yours as he went to a rapid pace. "And clench that wet cunt for me." He bit your lip, groaning as he felt you do exactly as you were told, making you almost painfully tight,

you whimpered as you felt his cock twitch inside of you, tugging at his hair needily, grinding your hips against his, desperate for friction that was made difficult to achieve due to the water.

he pressed his body against yours after a time, grinding inside of you as he pressed his forehead against the crook of your neck.

the soft gasps of pleasure that left his lips in a stream had you feeling positively dizzy.

you used your leg to help him push deeper, reaching down behind him between his legs to lightly play with his balls, only enhancing his gasps and moans.

you could feel your stomach twisting into knots of pleasure listening to the intoxicating sounds, your eyes shut as you pushed your head back against the ground, listening to the sloshing water caused by his grinding movement.

"Are you going to cum, darling?" You asked, playing with his hair, giving the occasional gentle tug.

he groaned in response, lifting his head up to drop his forehead down against yours.

"Not until you do," He assured, adamant about ensuring his lovers were taken care of first.

you bit your lip, dragging your thumb across his balls in a manner that had his cock twitching inside of you.

"I want to feel you cum," You breath, stealing a kiss from the man. "I don't want you to wait for me if you think you are going to, okay?" You shifted beneath him needily, fairly certain there was a good chance feeling him orgasm would most likely push you over the edge yourself.

he looked down at you, looking almost troubled. As though he didn't know what to do with this.

"I assure you," You went on before he could formulate a sentence. "I am fairly sure that if I don't get off feeling you cum inside of me, it probably won't take more than a stiff breeze to finish me off after."

You couldn't help smiling when you watched a similar expression touch his lips, a soft, breathless laugh coming out of him.

"If you are sure, darling," he decided, brushing his nose against your cheek mindlessly as he started to pick up short thrusts again, groaning at the sensation.

you couldn't resist bringing your hand up to squeeze his ass as he did this, making him jolt from surprise in a way that caused you to moan freely.

he repeated a similar thrust again to see if he could get you to mimic the sound. when he succeeded in doing so, he repeated the pace and angle at which he did it, snapping his hips in short, powerful thrusts.

"Is that where it feels good, darling?" He purred, licking your earlobe before nipping it teasingly. "Do you think I could get you to come with nothing more than my cock?" You moaned in response, grabbing at his flexed biceps, his arms encircling your head.

"You are so beautiful for me," He moaned, kissing your jaw. "Absolutely delicious. ." He snapped his hips a little harder, leaning down to try and suck a little more blood from you.

When he found the reserve dry, he felt weak to resist the temptation to create a new wound, sinking his teeth into you, twitching again as he felt you clench around him, whimpering in a mix of pain and pure ecstasy as you gripped his arms tighter, feeling yourself being thrown towards the edge.

He took a few large swallows of blood, feeling it energize his entire body, his cock swelling inside of you as his hips snapped harder and with more vigor.

He got to a nearly unbearable speed before he suddenly pushed inside of you and stayed.

your breath hitched when you felt him spill cum inside of you, grinding with desperation as you felt him slowly pull out before slamming back into you, moving with the waves of pleasure that rolled through him.

The sounds he made while doing so had your stomach twisting with pure lust, and it took little more than a few circles against your clit with two fingers to have you following over the edge.

He grabbed the side of your hair with a gasp when he felt your orgasm hit, his mouth hanging open, eyes shut tightly as he pressed his forehead firmly against your own.

You brought your free hand to wrap around him, your leg helping push him down against you as you both rode out the waves of pleasure together.

You laid there panting into one another’s mouths as you came down, keeping each other close as your bodies relaxed and melted against the other.

You leaned up and kissed his cheek dizzily after a time, making his eyes open to look down at you.

"Now what am I going to do with you," He breathed, a smile dancing on his lips.

He was not used to the tender affections you were offering him, but he found he quite liked it.

you let out a soft laugh, bringing your hand up to cover the back of his as he cupped your cheek tenderly.

he shut his eyes again, pressing his forehead against yours once more as he finished catching his breath.

"I am afraid we may need another bath," You sighed as he shifted off of you, propping yourself up on your elbows as you listened to him chuckle.

"I believe you would be right, darling," he replied as he sat up one his knees. "Come back into the water. . I promise to actually wash you this time. That is, so long as you can control yourself around me once again. ." he added playfully, making you smile, sitting up and kissing him lingeringly.

"We'll see. . Though I can't promise my hands won't get a little friendly." you gave him a playful, sly smile before slipping away from him to go back into the water, feeling a hand on your waist as he moved in after you.

It was nearing midnight before you two finally managed to properly bathe, but by then, it was a matter of you trying not to pass out from exhaustion.

And when that battle was lost, he laid with you near the spring, softly stroking the side of your cheek as you slept peacefully curled up warmly in his cool embrace.

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averytirednerd · 3 months

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About Episodes 7 and 8...MASSIVE SPOILERS!!

Initial thoughts (because if I talk about EVERYTHING right now you'll be here for at least half an hour)...

WHAT THE HELL?!

I mean I loved getting to watch the season finale, don't get me wrong. But I have just as many grievances as things I loved about it and also SO MUCH happened?!?!?!

Charlie: Loved getting to see her be all demon-y, I've been waiting all season. Also loved her and the cannibals (especially Rosie!!!). So glad she got to work w/ Luci to protect the hotel <333 She and Vaggie are adorable too.

Vaggie: I really enjoyed watching her and Carmilla's song, that was cool. Protecting her girlfriend, very cute. I liked seeing her and Lute have that little face-off.

Husk: Sad that we didn't get to see much of him, but I get it. His interactions with the others were sweet (especially Angel). I loved the one line he got to sing on his own in that last song of episode 8. 😍

Angel: Ngl I am very glad he wasn't the one to die. It would've been a fun little "oh crap" moment but I really didn't want to be right. He's still got business down there. His interactions with the others here are everything to me, and he's just grown so much and aaaaaa. It's lovely to see! I love him more and more with every episode.

Niffty: YOU GO, GIRL!!!! Love to see the stabbing. I also really loved the...one line Nifty got. Kimiko Glenn's voice is a gift, I freaked out over getting to hear one line. Anyway. not much else to say other than I definitely thought it was Alastor doing a big "oh look, I'm alive!" thing when Adam got stabbed, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Cherri Bomb/Sir P: I was surprised, to say the least, when Cherri and Sir P had that little moment. Glad they got it before he went and DIED. Cherri is such a good friend to Angel and she's great. Now, onto Sir P...WOW, OKAY. Glad we know Charlie's plan isn't completely stupid. Wonder how Sera's gonna react to him being there now, lol.

The Vees: FIRST OFF, VOX?????? "This is better than sex!" 💀💀💀 Truly was not expecting to see as much of the Vees as we did. Not complaining though. It was...interesting...to say the least, watching Vox get as excited as he did over the prospect of Al dying (still as obsessed as ever, fr). Not at all surprised to see Val and Vox have a thing going, I figured from the interactions we've seen so far. Them dancing together was silly, them practically making out was less so 😃. Also, gotta continue the love for Velvette--putting up with these two idiots must take a lot. Also also, her HAIR! HER HAIR!! EEEEE

Lucifer: I reallllyyyyyy enjoyed seeing Luci make a return to help Charlie, even if it was in one of those "last-minute saves" that I usually hate. Idk, makes sense here I guess because he's probably always watching over Charlie some way. ALSO LUCI AND CHARLIE GOING ALL DEMON-Y TOGETHER WAS <33333333 I really loved him starting off that last song in episode 8, and telling Charlie that he believes in her. It was so sweet. I love Luci sm, hoping he becomes a more integral part of the crew in s2.

Adam/Lute/Lilith: HAHA HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE??? Lute got what she deserved with the whole...arm thing. ALSO WHAT--JUST GONNA CASUALLY DROP LILITH IN HERE NOW? Sure, fine, whatever, totally cool. Not sure how to feel about Lilith atm so moving on. I dunno why I was so shocked upon seeing Adam's face. I guess I expected him to...not look as good as he does? Also so upset that he broke Al's staff. How rude. He sucks.

Rosie: Not how I expected her to sound, but I'm most certainly not disappointed. I don't have much to say other than I loved literally everything about her. No complaints--at least not yet ig, need to go back and rewatch the episodes critically. Her and Alastor is everything to me, and seeing them dance was <333333 I cannot express my excitement over it enough.

Alastor: Saved him for last because yes. If I wasn't limiting myself to a short paragraph for each, I'd be writing a whole essay just about Al, I swear....CANNOT believe what just happened omg. Not only did we get to see silly Al in episode 7, but we got to see scary (and scared) Al in episode 8. He's really freaking out, it's so entertaining! I'm so glad it wasn't him who died, I started getting a bit worried for a minute there....His relationship with Rosie is aaaaa, best of besties fr. Fighting Adam scene was glorious. Making Vox act like an idiot even when not trying was funny to watch (Vox's obsession with this guy is so silly). Him retreating sure was a move, but I'm glad he didn't get all stubborn and end up dying. Him ranting a bit in his section of the final song was so...AAAAAAA. Man is so scared, he looks stressed as can be. I need to see Alastor just have an external breakdown because he honestly feels like he's on the verge of one. 💀

Stopping for now before I go on a bigger rant than I already have. To those who read all this, I'm so sorry pfft. Feel free to leave a comment if there's something you wanna discuss (or, better yet, send one of those ask thingies. I do not have comments figured out yet...)

Anyway, have a good one <3

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weebsinstash · 17 hours

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People keep asking me if I have any 'yandere Alastor vs. yandere Lucifer fighting over Reader' ideas, and I gotta say one of my favorite ones is uh

Ok so I just am trying to kick myself in the ass to write this in of itself, but, I really like the idea of Alastor just straight up tricking you into giving him your soul. "Oh what if Reader takes a deal from him" no what if he makes a deal for your soul and you don't even fucking realize what you're doing and it's completely unintentional. I'm talking, my specific idea, is that after a prolonged series of events where you both gain and then lose Alastor's respect, he then approaches you when you're just like DRUNK DRUNK and, you're being all social and slurring and honestly he's embarrassed for you but at least you're talking to him, and, he sets his trap: making it seem like just an innocent little game, Alastor suggests you two have some kind of drinking game, and the winner can take ANY ONE THING from the other, and he's even all "oh, you don't even have to bother yourself with thinking about it! I could simply JUST TAKE IT and not even inform you, so then you wouldn't even have to worry yourself about whatever it is I decided to... acquire for myself :)"

And here's your drunken delusionally confident ass, thinking YOU'RE gonna pull one over on HIM, YOU trick ALASTOR "oh haha there's definitely nothing I have he wants lol, what would he do, take my cellphone or some of my shitty clothes or collectibles, lmao, I'm gonna win and I'm gonna ask him for some sort of special power or cool thing or gossip, this is low stakes high reward for sure"

Cue you like IMMEDIATELY losing his challenge, and even then, you're all smiles and laughs, "aww, I thought I had you there! So what are you taking?" And he just "Ohhhh, nothing :) actually I... even already took it from you!" And he starts LAUGHING laughing and you're just like "oh, you bastard, you got me! >u< more drinks, yay!"

I like the idea that Reader wakes up the next morning STILL in compete ignorance but uh, eventually you find out exactly how terrifying having someone else own your soul is when Alastor gives you some sort of command of something you REALLY do not want to do and you can't even control your own body to stop yourself from doing it anyways. Just the... violations of privacy, the loss of autonomy. He can force every thought and secret out of your mouth, your head, and move your body to the best of its abilities, and also just, PLUCK you to his location at will

So. Lucifer finds you just absolutely BROKEN in bed, like emotionally devastated, you are as close to suicidal as you can be for someone who cannot die, and, maybe you've even self-harmed. And after some gentle prodding from the Devil, you reveal what Alastor did, but, even more than that, how it made you FEEL. Alastor had approached you as some kind of friend, then started to want to exert some kind of ... control over you, commenting on your lifestyle choices, wanting you to do things with him in HIS way, and then when you resisted, he acted like you were a disappointment, even stopped spending time with you, and THEN, after you thought he was done with you, TRICKS YOU into giving him YOUR SOUL. It's just completely destroyed your psyche. It's reinforced horrible things you've thought about yourself your entire life. It made you feel alone, and now, you don't even have your soul anymore

So naturally Lucifer is like, "That's horrible! I'm so sorry he hurt you like that, I won't let him do this!" AND JUST FUCKING UNDOES IT. Contract WHAT? Radio Demon WHO? this is HELL and Lucifer is, you know, THE DEVIL FROM UH, THE BIBLE, and he's just snapping his fingers and you FEEL your soul come back to you and now you're breaking down crying for entirely different reasons while Lucifer holds you

MEANWHILE ALASTOR, who is fucking off elsewhere, may or may not be lovingly gazing at whatever form your soul is taking within his grasp, HAS IT RIPPED AWAY FROM HIM AND STARTS LOSING HIS MIND. Some "Wait, what just happened? Ffffuck." shit for real, he's, abruptly jerking out of his chair so hard it's sliding across the floor and he's racing back to the Hotel. Charlie stands up for him and shouts down her father that he has no right to ask the Radio Demon to leave, but, Charlie "attempts" to give Alastor "a stern talking to" about how "friends don't take other friend's souls, taking other people's souls is not how we get into Heaven" which, of course, falls on deaf ears, but Charlie isn't the Morningstar Alastor is wanting to concern himself with

And of course, there's Lucifer, making sure he's standing close to you, maybe even between you and Alastor, standing in front of you protectively, MAYBE EVEN HOLDING YOUR HAND TO COMFORT YOU. Alastor just immediately putting two and two together what happened and all but grinding his teeth into dust. Not only has Lucifer interfered and taken something IRREPLACEABLE from him(which was something he took from YOU lol), but, Lucifer has driven a wedge between you ans the Radio Demon. Alastor is watching you regard him with nothing but anger and sadness and fear while clinging to the tiny fallen angel and just, ohhhh, if looks could kill, the staredown these two are having with each other over you...

You've got one yandere who had your soul within his hands and had it taken back before he even got to enjoy having it, didn't get to DO anything with it, and another yandere who, quite understandably, feels that it isn't safe to let you leave from under his protective wing, and BOTH of them are convinced you have to be protected from the other while ALSO being super powerful

You know, the perfect combination of dangerous abilities and dangerous minds :) obviously our favorite Appletini is the more powerful one, but I think our Bambi could give him a good run for his money through sheer trickery alone. If you thought it was annoying getting pulled into antagonistic musicals BEFORE--

#yandere x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #Lucifer x reader #hh #sinprompts #yandere stuff

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everythingne · 4 months

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out of the woods - ls2 [2]

With a home race that couldn't go better, Dhanishka feels the confidence to let loose. But, Bahrain's post race celebration brings up some confusing feelings Dhanishka definitely won't handle the best. Charles plays the disappointed older brother role very well, Daniel is a bit of an enabler as is Lando, who also wins a bet with McLaren. Also, the FIA makes a weird call.

logan sargeant x ferrari!ex!oc

fc: iffat marash (and other pinterest girlies)

warnings/notes: mentions of past car accidents, drunkeness, a makeout scene, tbh if logan looked at me the way i describe here i would fold oops. conflicting feelings here for miss dubey

(part one) (part three)

Bahrain hasn't even started, my home race hasn't even started, and I already feel like I'm about to snap. I knew coming into this race there was a lot of pressure on me to do well, not to mention how basically everyone I knew and their fucking mother was here, but from Ferrari alone. This was the season they planned to solidify Charles and I next to Red Bull. They'd been secretive about their car, their plans, and whatever, just to hopefully psyche out the other teams.

Personally, I just wanted to win for myself, but thats a whole other story.

When I walk in the race, cameras are on me faster than I can say my name, thousands of eyes watching the only rookie this season as she makes her way into her paddock. Inside the paddock is no better, and the garage can't even be a safe haven as reporters walking the pit lane try to get video of me and Charles greeting eachother.

He's like a bright red beacon of safety admist the chaos of this morning. He hands me a coffee, says it's supposed to be some sort of weird chai thing. It tastes... like slightly more bitter and heavily espresso filled chai. But I drink it anyway because lord knows I need the energy.

"You look stressed, is it the race?" Charles asks after our debriefing, when I'm working on reaction times. I keep working at whacking the buttons, eyes trained on the center as I also work my periphery.

"I think so." I say, uninterested, and Charles purposefully messes up the game so I look at him with a loud exclamation. He grins, and I get now why Arthur had punched Charles in the arm as a greeting once. He looks like a cat that knows it's done something wrong, but smugly doesn't care. Like my aunt's big brown cat named Porsche.

They'd bought her a 'Porsche' for her birthday that year. Haha.

"What's it actually?" Charles asks when I catch my breath a little, taking a big gulp of water and then sipping on the coffee-chai-thing.

"I talked to Logan after we left the resturant and I can't stop thinking about it." I set down the cup and go to return to the game before Charles grabs my wrist and pulls me back.

"Do you wanna talk about it before the race? Maybe get it out of your system so it doesn't affect you while driving?"

"You're talking like you speak from experience."

"Maybe I do." He hums and I huff through my nose, before grabbing both of my drinks when he nods his head back to his drivers room. Probably the only place here we could get privacy. He pops me down on his couch and sits next to me, motioning for me to talk.

I stammer a bit before sighing, “Logan still thinks it’s my fault. He still thinks I had something to do with the accident. And I’m a fucking idiot because I still love him.”

Charles’ eyes widen as I lean forward and huff, rubbing my forehead as I keep talking, “I still love him after three years. And he doesn’t love me back and that hurts but I can’t do anything about it.”

"you still love him?" He asks and I nod, and then hitch forward with a sharp gasp. It's like saying the words out loud have thrown every possible emotion in my face. Anger at him for breaking up, regret for not chasing him, a deep sorrow for the things we'd lost. He had been my first love, something so innocent. I didn't know how I was supposed to live without him.

"I do," I whisper through the lump in my throat, "I love him, but I can't even look at him without feeling sick."

For once with all the issues I've come to tell Charles about, this is one that stumps him. But he wraps an arm around me, pulling him to his side as he rubs his hand along my back and I curl into his touch. I don't exactly cry, but I more so just hyperventilate.

And it takes maybe ten minutes for me to calm down fully and when I do, Charles squeezes my hands.

"No matter what happens, I've got you." He says softly, "just like at dinner, I've got you."

I nod and he hands me a tissue, I fix up my makeup and stand, letting him escort me back out to the garage so we can go get out fireproofs and race suits.

The sun is long set when we start the race, the warm up lap making my nerves spark as my fingers twitch on the steering wheel. I knew Bahrain's track like the backs of my hands, I knew exactly what to expect and what to do and where to go. Starting p8 wasn't terrible, I would've preferred to be higher but I'll take what I can get. In front of me is Yuki, Carlos, Daniel, Charles, Oscar, Lando, and Max. With Logan directly behind me and Alex behind him.

I'm not super worried about Alex, but Logan had a pretty similar driving style to me so I worry about him coming and overtaking me. I know I can overtake Yuki, Carlos, and Daniel if I give myself time and risk going wide when it comes to Carlos, but Lando, Oscar and Max will be my biggest competition. Though I'm not sure about Charles, I guess it depends on what we're told on the radio.

Within the first five laps, I've gotten past Yuki and Carlos, but Daniel's giving me a run for my money. Charles even tries helping, but it's no use, and I take my place behind Daniel for the foreseeable future. I don't mind it, holding P6 at the beginning isn't the worst scenario. I just have to wait until people starting going in for tire changes and such, hopefully I'll be able to use that to get around.

Eventually, Daniel understeers and it gives me a perfect opportunity to whip around him and I solidify myself in P5. Oscar's ahead of me, Lando ahead of him, Charles in P2 and then Max holds P1. Charles is fighting him for it and I'm impressed with how we're doing so far.

At some point Logan comes up behind me, I'm only alerted via the radio for half a second before I see him try and push me to the edge of the track. I speed up, purposefully oversteering the turn to knock him off my back.

By the end of the race, I find myself P3 by a goddamn thread. Lando having wing damage making it easier for me to snag around him in one of the last turns. Charles isn't far ahead of me, and Max holds his P1 usual. Lando's P4, Oscar P5, and Logan P6. Everyone else is pretty much scrambled, almost all the racers overtaking someone multiple times throughout the race.

I can't really feel anything under the thrum of my excitement, Charles coming up behind me and lifting me off the ground in celebration as Max laughs from a distance. We're making our way to the stage for the podium, helmets off and a hat secured over my head to block out the sun and my post-race helmet hair.

"Lets go! 'Ishka!" Charles jumps and I laugh, whacking him on the head as he hoists me in the air.

"Congrats, kid." Max grabs the brim of my hat and yanks it down, making me yelp in surprise as Charles sets me down. I fix the brim of my hat while Charles laughs, trying to help me yank down Max's hat too before I'm called to walk up on stage.

The roar of the audience is deafening, the announcement a warble as I take the trophy with a thank you and shook the hand of the woman who gave it to me. I lift it above my head, the noise only growing, and I can't help the satisfied shout that leaves my throat in celebration.

Dipping back into the paddock, I see Logan being ushered away from me by Alex. Even though the sight of him makes my throat close and stomach drop, I try to keep my head up. I try to not let it affect me, but I know it does.

I told Logan the truth. I let him him go because he wanted to go. Nothing Logan did now would change the way my heart ached for him. In F2 I learned quickly to shove my emotions down and never let them escape me, and when I wasn't in the safety of Charles' company, I felt like I had fallen back into that same routine again.

Cold, sharper than a tack, everything rolled right off. I bit my tongue when necessary, fought back only when provoked.

It was nothing like how I had been before Trident. That much was known. But I wasn't about to be used again. Never again.

A few hours later, we're at the hotel Charles is staying in, him laying face first on his bed while I fix up my makeup in a mirror for the upteenth time. Another night out is in order to celebrate the season kickoff, Max inviting Charles and I along with him, Daniel, and Carlos to some sort club I've been to a hundred times already.

Once I've used Charles' bathroom to change into my clothes for the night, I'm wrapping a large Ferrari jacket around myself to be a bit more 'presentable' until we get to the club. I lean into the mirror to check and secure all my jewlery before I make my way out of the bathroom.

Charles looks up from where he's sitting in one of the chairs in the hotel room, his eyes doing a quick once over before he grins and stands up. He's wearing some jeans and a loose black button-up, a gold necklace swinging before settling against his collarbones as he makes his way to my side.

"Revenge dress?" He muses to me with a smirk and I whack his arm with a loud laugh, shaking my head as I walk to grab my purse off the coffee table.

"It wasn't intended to be, but sure." I grin as I take a sip from my wine glass on the table, eyeing the now empty bottle we were using to loosely pregame the night, "Glad to see you've gotten a bit of fashion advice, the polo looks good. If Max is wearing anything Red Bull I'll choke him out."

"I'll help you." Charles laughed and hands me his wallet. I pop it in my purse without thinking, I know it's so I don't run off without him, and I pretend to be annoyed. But the action is sweet.

"We have a little private room with some of the other drivers," Charles grabs our phones off the charges and hands me mine as he pockets his, fixes his hair in some sort of habit, and then looks back to me as he grabs the handle of the door, "So, you can leave your stuff there until we leave."

"Sounds good to me." I follow him out the door, my heels clicking on the tile on the hallway as we move down to where the carpet starts. Charles turns back to me as he walks, watching me dig out my car keys. When I lift my eyes to meet him he scratches his jaw and then speaks.

"Logan's gonna be there. That's fine with you?" Charles asks. I had told him in the garage this morning about my argument with Logan. It had been eating at me, and Charles being ever the observant picked up on my shift in attitude before I did.

"I probably won't even see him, this club is always packed." I reason, even with the private room. I'd spend most of my time at the bar. If I was with my friends, also the dancefloor, but I had a suspicion I wouldn't be doing much dancing tonight.

"You sure?" Charles holds the elevator door open for me, letting me step in and press the button for the lobby. I nod, adjusting my outfit a little bit as I look over at him.

"It's fine, I'm over it." I shrug, looking at myself in the mirrored doors of the elevator and fixing up my hair loosely. I can feel the elevator slowly start to lower and I grin at myself.

Maybe it was the confidence from my win, but I looked good tonight.

"You cried over him this morning and now you're saying you're over it?" Charles hums, thinking back clearly to me frustrated for no reason this morning and his intervention with led to me half-hyperventilating into his chest.

"I got P3 in my first F1 race, Charles. No one can touch me. I'm hot, sexy, and breaking the Ferrari curse." I playfully do a little z-snap that has Charles chuckling as the doors open to the lobby and he brings me out to an awaiting car. This was something else I would never get used to, how we all just kinda casually had luxury vehicles. Now, my parents were well off, my father a CEO and my mother a tailor, and they had plenty of money to give to me and my sister if we needed it. But it hadn't always been that way. So the Ferrari just idling outside the hotel, clearly brought over by Ferrari for Charles and I to drive like once this whole weekend is a shock to me.

He lets me in the back, then gets in the passengers, instructing the driver on where to go while I lean back with a content sigh and watch the streetlights pass.

dhanishkadubey made a new post!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, charlesleclerc, and 254k others...

dhanishkadubey: kicking off the start of a wonderful szn. much love to the tifosi 🏎️ ❤️ (📷: @ charlesleclerc)

charlesleclerc: ❤️

danielricciardo: this bitch drinks fireball like water.

dhanishkadubey: ur rlly exposing me like this danny :(?

user1: congrats on p3!!!

oscarpiastri: go dhanishka go !!

user2: tensions rising in the loscar fandom tn

maxverstappen: great start to your rookie year, dhanishka :)

anyadubey: YAAA THATS MY SEXY SISTER!!!

user3: actually in love w her.

When we arrive at the club, the place is already going hard. Early 2000s music pulses from various speakers, the lights flashing to the beat of who I think is Britney Spears mixed with that one song from Saltburn. It's Daniel who greets us in the upstairs room, showing me where to leave my bag and jacket while Charles is escorted off to the side by Pierre and Max. I spot Esteban and Lance chatting idly with Magnussen and some other racers. It's odd combinations tonight, as the grouping strays from the normal clumps of friends, but it means I find myself engrossed in a conversation with Alex and George maybe thirty minutes after getting inside.

"I seriously thought you were gonna be much meaner!" George shouts over the pulsing music and I laugh as he hands me my drink from the bartender. I thank him softly and take a big sip, nodding at the sour taste im expecting from the cocktail.

Catching George's eye, I tease, "Do you want me to be?"

"God no," George waves a hand in my direction with a soft laugh, something playful and almost childlike gleaming in his eyes as he tilts his head, "Carmen's plenty mean to me."

"Oh stop!" Alex scoffs, whacking George's arm, "As if Carmen's little jabs equate to Lily's!"

"Didn't you literally call Lily the doll from Squid Game?" I ask, then pop my straw in my mouth and take a slow sip. Alex freezes as if he's been caught red handed, and George suppresses a giggle.

"Look..." Alex holds up a hand in defense but George and I are laughing too hard to really hear whatever excuse he uses to defend his actions.

"Okay, can I ask you a question, Dhanishka?" Alex asks after we've calmed down, leaning forward on the bar as I settle in my seat with George on my other side. I nod and he swallows and I can see him roll the question through his head. He takes a sip of his drink, swallows, and turns to ask, "If you wanna answer, what exactly happened with you and Logan? 'Cause he's been moping since you got announced to be racing with Ferrari and I might lose my mind if he doesn't knock it off."

"Oh god," I say into my midori sour, taking the bitter drink into my mouth and swallowing it and setting my hand over the cup. George leans over to look, head slightly tilted like a puppy as Alex quickly speaks up.

"If you don't wanna say anything, it's fine, but--"

"--No, no. It's fine Alex," I wave a hand, "uhm, Logan and I started dating when we were racing in Renault, but we'd been kinda... I guess flirty since the end of our formative years and into like secondary school. We were... I was fifteen, so he was seventeen or sixteen at the time? It was just like... puppy love, y'know? Pure and innocent, nothing too serious.

"And, we were both in love and it was nice. It really was nice. But, when that crash happened with Trident, I think something snapped in him. I... the breakup... it came from nowhere. I don't know if it was because he was mad, thinking I had something to do with it, or if he just... didn't know what to do and needed control after Trident took that P2 position from him? I don't know. We hadn't spoken since that day until last night."

"You talked to him last night?" Alex asks with slightly wide eyes and I nod, taking another sip of my drink.

"We argued about it last night while waiting to leave." I sigh, rolling my shoulders as I pop the straw between my lips and take a long slow sip, then speak, "He thought I had something to do with the crash, I told him I didn't, he asked me why I let him leave--which, Alex, feel free to tell him I think that's a dumb fucking question. I wasn't gonna force him to stay if he was unhappy, or if he didn't wanna date anymore. I'm not a monster."

"Wait, wait," George waves a hand to grab my attention and I turn to him with a soft hum, "So is he mad at you?"

"I don't know," I finish off my drink, noticing both George and Alex are not even halfway down their respective drinks, "I can't tell with him. I would completely understand if he was furious about everything, but none of it was my fault. I didn't even know Trident planned to crash into him!"

"I'm gonna try talking to him," Alex looks over at someone to the right of me and I don't have to look to know he means Logan's there. I nod, sip my drink, and excuse myself to go back to the room. George escorts me up there, to make sure I'm fine, and then leaves me to Daniel who grins.

"You've had something to drink, right?" He asks and I nod, but happily join him and Lando at the bar for shots of various alcohols. And I end up drinking a few glasses of soju back to back with Max at one point, introducing him and Checo to different flavors while Daniel laughs at Max's shock over how everything just tastes like a slightly sour juice. I'm finishing my fourth glass of soju when I start to feel woozy. Taking a water from the bartender, I count the drinks I've had in my head and roughly equate them to about a handle of alcohol.

Lando orders a final round of shots for us, Fireball burning down my throat.

"Danny!" I call to the Australian, who turns in a full circle before realizing wher eI am. He nods and steps closer so I don't have to shout.

"The bathrooms right there," I point to a hallway and Daniel nods, "Can you grab my stuff and I'll meet you guys by the door?"

"Yeah, just be quick! Text me if you need anything." He squeezes my wrist and I nod, slipping away and down the stairs that lead tot he dark bathrooms. Once I'm done, I step out into the hall looking down at my phone when I slip on water pooled by the door. Or what I hope is water.

A hand juts out, catching me by the waist and tugging me forward so I'm no longer falling backwards. The firm hand is familiar, and when I glance up to thank the man who caught me I make eye contact with Logan. I resist the urge to make some rude comment and thank him softly instead.

"Are you gonna tell everyone about us dating?" He asks instead and I scoff.

"Are you gonna start a fight every time I see you?" I rebuke, and then shrug, "Alex and George asked. And if I said no, they could just look it up. I didn't say any apecifics, just the bulk."

Logan looks a little relieved at that, almost like he was nervous about their reactions if they knew every little thing that we'd done. Truth be told, puppy love was the best way to describe us back then. Stolen chaste kisses, giddy smiles when holding hands, little meaningful gifts, late night texts that led to sleepy smiles the next day. I was sure he'd had something more... mature after he'd broken it off. I had rationalized in my head that was why he broke it off. I'd never know the real reason, I wasn't going to ask.

"You..." Logan finally lets go of my waist, and in the low light I see his eyes sweep over me with a look I want to decipher. I've lost the key to his brain, and I know I won't be finding it any time soon.

"You look as beautiful as the day I left you, more so now... but," He laughs, shaking his head, "Sorry, I had too much to drink. I shouldn't."

"You shouldn't." I agree, but a tiny smile curls at my lips, "But thank you."

Logan looks at me for a long moment and I return the gaze, our eyes spelling out stories of his hands carding through my hair, laying on a blanket on the roof of his London apartment and listening to music in shared earbuds, us cheering on Oscar when he'd asked Lily out and celebrating with him after.

He was so much of my past, and somehow I found that I wished he could fit into my future.

"Can I ask one thing?" Logan says, the music pulsing above us louder now, making his voice get swallowed by the music. I step closer to hear him as I nod, throat dry as trepidation rolls across my skin, his lips part, and it takes a second for him to ask, "Can we not fight? I don't think I can ever see you look angry at me again, I've been replaying our argument outside the restaurant for days now.

"I don't wanna leave our past behind us and move on," He continues when I gape at him, "I loved you back then, maybe I still do now or maybe its the fact I'm so drunk the world is spinning, but you were such a big piece of my life. I've known you since we were kids, Dhanishka I can't let go of you now that I've got you back."

His heart is being held out for me, hands shaking as he stares at me, and I just stare back. Just friends, I tell myself. That's all we'll be.

"You know," I start, and I can feel its my heart and blood alcohol content leading the conversation and not my brain, "I do think I still love you--or maybe its the fact I'm just as drunk as you are, if not worse. You made my life, you made me who I am, from the stupid jokes to the little kisses behind our garages, or sneaking into eachother drivers rooms to nap..."

I swallow my pride, "I won't let go of you this time."

He grins and on wobbly legs he takes me into a hug, I let his arms wrap around my waist, hands warm against my skin as I throw my arms around his neck. The stairs squeak behind us, and we step back, but I don't see anyone come down. When I turn back to him, I find he's still looking, and as the music shakes the walls and rolls into my skin, I find one of my hands cupping his jaw. His breath cuts short, lips parting as his tongue darts out.

It's so dumb how easily I fall back in love with Logan Sargeant.

He dips down before I can think to pull back, slotting his lips against mine, and I welcome it. His grip on me tightens as he tugs me back in, bunching fabric under his fingernails as he gasps when I nip his lip.

"We shouldn't do this." He gasps between a kiss he drives, only to be cut off by me stepping closer to keep our lips dancing. He turns us, pressing my shoulders to a wall, cornering me underneath him, and I bite back a whine in the back of my throat.

"We shouldn't," I agree, and gasp when he moves closer, his hands sliding down to guide my hips towards him as his knee knocks mine apart. He steps one foot between mine, leaning into me, and I can't help the whine he forces out of my lips this time. And when I see his satisfied grin, I can't help the tiny bashful smile that pokes at my own lips.

"You're an asshole." I breathe against his lips, the club pulses above us, footsteps creaking on the stairs, but in that moment we dont feel the pull of the crowd singing and dancing. His hands grip my waist through the thin fabric of my black dress, pulling me in, and I feel everything. His chest hits mine with his sharp breath in, our eyes finding each other and holding a gaze I feel as bitter as the tequila in my stomach.

"I know," He pulls me in by wrapping his arm around my waist, hand finding my jaw and tugging me impossibly closer. Our lips meet again, all heat and fervor and my hands find the back of his head, knocking our teeth when I tug him in after he breaks the kiss.

22R stains his lips and I see it on his teeth when he grins, memories flicker through my eyes. He tastes like expensive whiskey and rum, a hint of shitty bottled beer taps my tonsils when I swallow. He tastes like everything I should run from and yet, I crave more.

"Dhanishka!" Charles calls for me somewhere in the club, voice loud against the music, and I step back. Reaching out to grab my wrist, Logan pulls me in once more, his thumb runs along my lower lip, fixing the smudged lipstick in the dark, dingy bathroom hall. I don't know what to say, I don't know if this is a moment where I'm even supposed to say anything.

"Danny!" Daniel shouts, coming to the hall of the bathroom and I push Logan back into the men's room and slam the door shut before he can say anything.

"There you are!" Charles calls and I wave, turning to them.

"Sorry," I giggle, the warmth of the kiss on my face as I feel the ghosts of Logan's hands on my skin, "I think I had a little too much."

"So did Max," Daniel snorts, flicking on his phone flashlight so I can properly see the stairs as I make my way over to where they stand halfway down them. I hear the men's room door creak and turn back to catch Logan's eye as Charles grabs my wrist and carts me upstairs.

We share a tiny grin between us, charged by drunken decisions, it's our moment. No one else sees. Or if they do, they don't say a word But Charles' grip on my wrist tightens, and I have an odd feeling we might not have been as alone as we thought we were in that hallway.

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