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#I'm back after 6 years with a new edit
emiliagrant · 15 days
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Don't walk away from something before you even know what it is.
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6ix9inewiturmom · 4 days
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Camera Caught- Matt Sturniolo
Summary: you accidentally left some hickeys on matt’s neck and the fans catch it, start making edits, and matt “punishes” you
Warnings: SMUT, degradation, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms, squirting, oral (female receiving), P in V, Unprotected sex, praising, slight crying.
A/N: I LOVE YOU ALL ENJOYY
PSA: I GIVE NO RIGHTS TO COPY MY WORK OR USE MY WORK FOR “INSPIRATION”
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Matt and I’s relationship has been very very private, we've been trying to keep it that way till we both collectively agreed to go public. Matt was down in the garage filming for a Friday video and I was endlessly scrolling on TikTok, I came across this edit of Matt, I didn't think much of it till i saw the comments.
Mattscupsupremacy: THE HICKEY?! WHO IS SHE?? MATTS A FREAKY GAL
Chrissypoohmylover: UHM MATTHEW?? what a freaky man.. she’s one lucky girl to be getting that fire dick
Nickismyqueen: WHY IS NO ONE POINTING OUT THE FACT HES NOT EVEN TRYING TO COVER IT UP??
Yamother6629: we lost another one girls… Funeral at my place at 6 pm tmr 😔💔
Thefourthtriplet5239: MATT SEEMED SO VANILLA.. who would ever guess that man is kinky?
“No no no” I say panicking out loud and immediately jumping out of bed and running through the house and busting the door open to the garage where Nick, Matt, and Chris are barging into the garage which sends the boys into an immediate panic
“Okay so you can edit this out of the video but it's an emergency,” I say out of breath.
“Girl go the fuck on, you said it’s an emergency, spill let’s go” Nick says snapping his fingers.
“Okay, patience, so I was scrolling through TikTok like normally waiting for you guys to finish filming and I scroll across this Matt edit,” I say trying to find the edit on my phone.
“Y/N how many times do I have to tell you to stop watching edits of me, I'm right here no need to fangirl over me,” Matt says with a sense of cockyness in his voice.
“No no hold on it gets better, so I scroll through the comments cause you know it's funny watching as the 12-year-olds talk about you being their ‘baby’-” start before Chris cut me off
“GET TO THE FUCKING POINT YAPPER,” Chris says throwing his hands in the air
“Says the one who goes on about putting a literal tit milk-drinking infant in the backseat of a car with no car seat. So let's not talk about her yapping” nick defends.
“ANYWAYS, Matt you forgot to cover your hickeys from the other night and everyone knows about it now, cause when you moved out of frame your hoodie must have come down, and there are edits and people calling you ‘vanilla’ whatever the hell that means, and like everyone is wondering who the girl is and I'm like panicking now,” I say with panic in my voice “I know you weren't ready to go public but everyone is like freaking the fuck out” I continue.
“Fuck, I thought the hoodie was a good cover” matt sighs “look its fine well figure it out after I'm done filming just go back inside and calm the hell down” he gives me a quick peck on my forehead and shutting the door of the car.
A couple of minutes later I got a text from matt, normally he does send me the occasional ‘i love you, almost done filming’ message but this one was a little different.
Matty B Rapz 💍
you’re in big trouble for getting us caught
i hope you ain’t tired cause you’re in for a long night
This wasn't out of the normal for Matt to be rough with me but over text? This is new, but I love it. I could feel myself getting soaked at all the possible ways Matt could fuck me, all the positions, thinking of all the ways in which he could make me cum.
After an hour and a half of endless scrolling through TikTok, I can hear the footsteps of Matt through the hallway.
“Hi baby, how was filming?” I say as he walks in the door immediately shutting it and locking it.
“Don't ‘baby’ me, strip,” he says harshly as his eyes darken with lust.
A smirk appeared on my lips, and moved off the bed walking towards him as I placed my phone down on the bedside table and slowly and teasingly removed my pants and shirt leaving me in my light pink lingerie set that I knew drove him insane, the way it hugged my curves, pushed my Brests up with a small delicate flower in the middle, and my underwear that sat and hung onto my hips with another small flower in the middle of it.
“So fucking sexy,” Matt says under his breath causing a light shade of pink to appear on my cheeks.
Matt wraps his arms around my torso and unclips my bra letting my breasts fall and the straps of my bra fall off my arms. He lightly pushes me back so I'm sitting on our shared bed as he places a deep and passionate kiss on my lips.
I yearn for more of his lips but he pulls away from me and starts trailing light kisses down my jaw and to my neck and sucking harshly on my neck so we have matching marks on my neck and soft moans escaping my lips.
“Since you had to go and get us caught,” he starts before sucking harsher in my neck in a pattern this time. “Everyone's gonna know who you belong to now” he pulls away walking back a couple of steps to admire the marks he left on my neck.
‘M’
His initial was spelled out on my neck.
“And you're not gonna cover that up. Got it?” he spits walking towards me and wrapping his hand around my neck.
“Yes, Matt” I whisper out
“Good fucking girl” he removes his hand from my neck and pushes me down so my back is now on the bed flat.
He lowers his body down, basically on his knees, and he leaves kisses down my stomach before kissing over my clothed pussy and a soft whimper comes out of my lips.
Using his teeth he guides my underwear off my legs and throws them on the floor with a smirk plastered on his face.
His face between my legs was always a sight for sore eyes, never failed to turn me on the way his blue eyes always stared at me through his eyelashes. He places small kisses around my thighs eventually making his way down to my dripping pussy and placing kisses everywhere around it but where I need him the most.
“Matt, please” I plead.
“What are you begging for? Use that filthy mouth of yours and tell me what you want” he says harshly.
“I need your mouth, please” i whine.
He smirks and uses his tongue to move up and down my folds collecting my juices he lets out a groan as the taste of my pussy touches his tongue. His lips attach to my clit sucking harshly on it.
“FUCK MATT” My back arches and my eyes roll back basically seeing my brain.
His tongue explores every inch of me as he keeps a steady gaze on me and how my body reacts to his mouth. His fingers trail into my begging hole that's clenched around the air begging to be fulfilled curling his slim fingers upward reaching a spot I could never reach by myself.
“MATT” I scream out as My thighs close his head in.
“Legs stay open” he mutters through my pussy.
His fingers now moving at a pace that's driving me absolutely insane, his muted moans against my pussy is only turning me on more.
“close” i breathe out trying not to strain my voice.
“hold it,” he says muttering against me as his nose flicks my clit digging his face deeper into my pussy. He was almost moaning as much as I was, typically he didn't even care if he cums, he gets off at watching me come unglued from his mouth or fingers.
“Please” I repeat pleading with matt.
“No, you're gonna hold it and you're gonna show me how much of a good girl you can be” he lifts his head continuing his pace with his fingers.
His gaze never left me, the way my back arched off the bed and my eyes rolled back just at his fingers was always so amusing to him.
“You always look so beautiful wrapped around my fingers,” he says smirking down at me and taking his lower lip between his teeth as he continues to arch his fingers inside me.
“PL-PLEA- CUM” i mutter unable to form a coherent sentence.
“Go ahead baby, let it all out” he coos in my ear in a low raspy voice.
The knot in my stomach snaps, and my orgasm hits me like a bus, my legs shake as my cum drips down into his fingers. he removes his fingers licking off my cum from them.
“Face down ass up, I ain't done with you” he says sternly.
I slowly nod turning around and holding myself up by my elbows taunting my ass around in the air. Matt smirks to himself removes his hoodie, and quickly removes his boxers and pants throwing all his clothes somewhere in the room.
I feel the bed dip down from the weight of his knees behind me. He reaches his arm around to my mouth places his hand below my mouth.
“Spit” he says harshly.
I obey spitting in his hand as he uses my spit to rub around the tip of his cock moving his hand up and down to coat his cock.
Matt aligns himself with my entrance and immediately bottoms out letting a loud groan escape his lips as my hips jerk backward and a loud whine leaks from my lips.
“You think you're so fucking innocent huh? Leaving those fucking hickeys on my neck” he spits thrusting harshly into me gripping onto my hair and pushing my head far into the mattress.
“I-im SO-SORRY” I scream into the mattress.
“Oh, you're sorry? If you were sorry you wouldn't be creaming all over my fucking. dick.” he says thirsting harder to annunciate his last two words as his head hangs low to look down at the white rim that's formed around the base of his cock.
“FUCKK” I whine out with tears starting to form in my eyes from the overstimulation. “CANT- CANT-TAKE” I muffle out as his hand pushes my head farther in the bed.
“You wanted this” he grunts “You take it” his hand travels down my body and starts to toy with my sensitive clit.
“OH BABY-” i scream out as my cervix begins to twitch around his cock signaling how close I was.
“Oh you think you're gonna cum soon?” he taunts rubbing faster on my clit as his thrusts begin getting sloppier.
“Pl-pl-please” I whisper yell to him.
“You're so fucking pathetic” he groans out using both hands and pressing my waist down the bed and rolling his hips into me getting deeper and kissing my cervix with his cock.
My legs began to shake and tremble “CLOSE” i choke out. his grip on my waist loosens up as he leans down and kisses my back.
“let it go, baby, let it all out” With that, the knot in my stomach breaks and I squirt all over the bed leaving a wet mess beneath me. “God damn baby you're so fucking sexy” he leaves small kisses on my neck as his thrusts got even sloppier.
“Oh fuck” he buries his head in my neck and groans as his cum begins to shoot out of him filling my hole of his cum.
He softly pulls out of me rolling me over now laying on my back and gives me a soft peck on the lips.
“Let me clean you up, yeah?” he smiles down at me and I shoot him a small smile back.
He throws on the same pair of sweatpants from earlier and walks softly and carefully to the bathroom wetting a small rag and bringing it back into the room.
“You did amazing, Y/N” he smiles up at me as he carefully runs the warm wash rag down my legs and anywhere else that was covered in cum.
“I am sorry about getting us caught, I know that we didn't want to go public just yet” I softly whisper as he makes his way next to me bringing me into his arms and placing a kiss down on my head.
“Hey, don't worry about it. We'll figure it out in the morning. But for now, just get some sleep," he says, running his fingers through my hair and occasionally kissing my head. We eventually drifted asleep, intertwined with each other.
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A/N PT 2 HI LOVES!! IDK how to feel ab this one but i hope you guys enjoyed it! I hope you're doing amazing!! And have an amazing day/night/evening!!
Xoxo
Gabs 💋
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dicejpg · 8 months
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I've got a sinking feeling - {Five Hargreeves x GN!Reader}
Synopsis: You are very flirty with Five, and he's tricked himself into believing he hates it. He tells you to stop. Then he learns the hard way how much he took you for granted when you meet someone else.
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Note: Five requests would be very appreciated! Thank you to those who sent requests on my last one shot.
(Not Edited)
Warnings: Swearing
Word count: 1.5k
Extra Information: Viisi means Five in Finnish. Five and Y/n were partners in the commission. They look seventeen or eighteen instead of thirteen. This one-shot takes place on the last episode of season one, and the entirety of season two.
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The Academy, Five's home, has just collapsed--courtesy of Vanya's new powers--and Five ordered his family to meet at Super Star Lanes bowling alley to come up with a new plan of action.
He grabs your wrist, blinking you with him. You're both in front of the bowling alley in a flash of blue.
Five takes a moment to pace around, not entering the building. The crisp, spring air bites at your earlobes as you hug your sides for warmth
"Hey, Viisi, can we go inside?" You look at him with a grimace and a pleading smile. He whips his head in your direction to glare at you, then strolls inside with a roll of his eyes. You follow in his stead.
The interior is heated, thankfully. Five informs the underpaid worker that his "parents" will be arriving shortly to pay for his bowling shoes. He takes a seat adjacent to Lane 6 and you sit next to him.
"So, how was the farewell with Delores? I know you two were close." You lean back in your seat, getting more comfortable while waiting for Five's siblings to arrive.
He does not look at you, his jaw ticks in annoyance.
"Come onnn, I know you're stressed, but this is your sister. I'm sure she's reasonable enough not to end the world." You turn towards him, leaning your elbows on your thighs and admiring his pretty face.
"No, it's not that." He scoffs, looking at you with a sneer.
You notice that his tie is crooked so you reach out to fix it, like you often do. It's sort of your thing.
He smacks your hand away and you raise an eyebrow.
"You okay Viisi?" You rub your hand a little, surprised. Normally, he lets you fix his tie with no problem. Although, he would grumble about it a little.
"God- No. I'm not okay." He puts his hands in his hair, gripping it slightly with an exasperated expression. "And stop calling me that."
"What?" You breathe with a smile of disbelief. "What's going on? Did something happen- Did I do something?" You lean away from him a little to give him more space.
"Stop, just stop it with the touching and the nicknames. I'm sick of it!" He looks at you with cold eyes. This is very unusual of him.
You cock your head to the side, trying to understand. "Five, I thought- I thought that was our thing! Y'know, the friendly banter and-"
"I know you're desperate for some sort of relationship with me, but I'm here to tell you that it's not going to happen. We were only ever co-workers." He says through gritted teeth, avoiding your eyes. "I'm telling you to stop pursuing me." You were never 'pursuing' him.
Usually you would brush this sort of behavior off, ignore it. Tell yourself that it's only because he's stressed. He's always stressed! Thinking back, he was never all that nice to you. Even in your Commission days.
You'd tricked yourself into thinking that maybe he thought you were special, or that you were at least his friend. His confidant.
You look at him with eyes full of hurt, which Five has never seen from you. He almost feels something bubbling up his throat, but the feeling dissipates quickly. "Have I made myself clear?" He says evenly.
You only nod, turning away so he doesn't see the tears prick at your eyes.
Five's siblings come inside and you two don't speak to each other again.
A year and seven months later (for you, at least.)
1963, Dallas Texas:
Five anxiously pulls at his tie after narrowly escaping three armed Swedish men. He had just watched his siblings, along with you, blow up in yet another nuclear explosion. It's left him oddly shaken up about how he treated you back in 2019.
He's pacing down the alley-way between the Commerse and Knox when he notices a flash atop the roof. A large camera of some sort.
A brown haired man closes his window briskly. That's strange.
Five teleports inside, scaling up a flight of stairs with cat-like agility. When he knocks on a door, the one beside him answers, revealing a mouse-y looking man in his early thirties. He looks at him with big, expectant eyes.
"What do you want." His tone is dripping with suspicion.
"Hi, I'm selling encyclopedias for my youth group. I was curious if-" Five gets a door to the face. He huffs, blinking inside after him.
The man, Elliot, jumps, yelping in fear and pulling out a butter-knife from his drawer of kitchen utensils. "H-how did you do that?" He hesitates, astonished.
Five looks at him with amusement. "Don't really have time to explain."
Elliot runs a hand through his unkempt brown hair, gripping the butter-knife in a feeble attempt to protect himself. "You from the Pentagon? Huh?"
"Definitely not."
"CIA? FBI? KGB?"
Five eyes up the kitchen, noticing a coffee pot on the other side of the room. "Is that fresh?" He uses his powers again, blinking himself right in front of the coffee pot.
Elliot screams, whipping his head back and forth between the place Five just was and the place he appeared. "What..." He pants, eyes wide.
"Elliot? You okay?" Five hears a faraway voice from another room. A familiar voice. "Who's with you?" It asks.
You appear from around the corner, presumably from Elliot's bedroom, looking almost two years older.
Five furrows his eyebrows and so do you. He breathes out your name is what you almost register as relief. But, you know better then to think that.
"Oh, Five. You're back." You say casually, nodding and crossing your arms. Five sets the coffee down, unwillingly noticing how you didn't call him by his nickname.
"How long have you been here?" He walks towards you, looking at your slightly different features. You changed your hair, he observes. He says nothing about it.
"A year and a half, I believe." You tap your chin in thought. Elliot glances between you two with interest or surprise.
"You two know each-other?" He puts the butter-knife back onto the counter with a small clatter.
You nod, shrugging. "We were co-workers." You send Elliot a reassuring, genuine smile.
Co-workers. Five doesn't like how the word rolled off your tongue.
He licks his lips, looking away. "You live here?" He asks you, though it was a silly question considering its obvious answer.
You nod with tight lipped smile, approaching Elliot. You fix his hair with your fingers and flip the collar of his flannel back down. "Did he scare you? I told you he could be a bit much."
Elliot exhales a shaky laugh at your words and actions as Five begins to feel a hot, frothy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He changes the subject. "Are my siblings here too?"
Elliot answers for you, looking back towards the teen again. "The other six anomalys- The power surges." He begins to look excited at this new discovery. "They're your siblings?"
Five ticks his jaw, ignoring him. "So they're alive..." He begins to pace around. "I think I stranded them here. Now listen to me..."
"Elliot." You tell him his name.
"Whatever, alright? I got ten days to find them and save the world." He points to you and Elliot. "Now, I need your help to do that."
Elliot is just so happy to be involved, his three year long project finally achieving some major development. He scrambles to find a certain newspaper scrap from his desk drawer. "You know what? I, uh..." He fumbles with it, handing it to Five.
"I always thought that this, uh, mugshot looked like arrival number four."
"Diego." Five reads softly, then he twists around to face you. "You're coming with me." He states.
You hiss awkwardly through your teeth, avoiding his eyes. "Ohh, about that... Actually, Elliot and I were about to play scrabble."
Five narrows his eyes at you, barking your name. "The world is ending and you're just gonna play scrabble with this homebody?"
Elliot looks at his dusty wooden floors with a look of dejection.
"Uh, yeah. That's exactly what I'm gonna do." You lean against the door-frame with a bored expression. "I thought you wanted me to stop following you around like a lost puppy."
Five feels strange. "You know what? I don't need this." He blinks away to search for Diego.
When Five returns from the strip club, after a failed attempt of recruiting both Luther and Diego, he decides to test something. His fingers reach for his tie, pulling at it and skewing it. Perfectly crooked.
You couldn't resist fixing his tie, he knew this.
So why didn't you? He finds himself uncharacteristically frustrated about unresponsiveness.
As he demands that Elliot develop his Frankel Footage, his eyes trail to you occasionally, silently tempting you to straighten his tie.
Your eyes flicked to it once. However, you made no move to adjust it.
Five heaves a dramatic sigh, angrily fixes it, and leaves to look for Vanya.
He messed up before, he realizes. He feels like shit.
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abrcmswrld · 5 months
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Treacherous | Mike Schmidt x Reader
Summary: Reader and Mike have been best friends since childhood. After a fight, Reader is given a surprise visit.
Warnings: General Angst, General Fluff, a suggestive make out scene in the nude but nothing too crazy, mentions of feminine clothing in one part but overall gender neutral
Author's Note: IM EDITING THIS RN SO PLEASE JUST IGNORE THE MISTAKES AND LIKE DUMB STUFF This is my first fic for Mike so bear with me! I tried so hard to adhere to the movie timeline but if it seems shaky please just ignore it lmao. I'm also bad at pacing sorry. I’d love to make this a series cause I’m in love with a good friends to lovers trope.
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Mike had always been a bit of a mess. All of the time that you've known him, this has never changed. You can recall times on the playground of boys calling him names for his sensitivities. How were they to know the gravity of his situation? How were you to know? But you always felt called to stand up for him either way.
So you'd hound them off. You'd grab his hand and pull him off the dirt and to a quiet corner of the playground. The two of you would sit on the wooden border, picking at the grass and watching the other kids play.
His sensitivities would quickly turn to a certain hardness that you'd never fully come to understand, even in your late twenties. He'd open up the tiniest bit in high school, after his mother had passed away. He was only 17 years old. You were still children.
You have memories of standing uncomfortably in the dress your mother had insisted you wear to the funeral. You didn't know how to approach him then. He sat alone in a chair on the far side of the funeral home, a blank expression on his face. You couldn't say a word as you took tiny footsteps towards him. And he didn't say a word either, just looked up with bloodshot eyes. You'd hugged him then, feeling his shoulders shakes against you.
Soon it was time for the two of you to start thinking about college and your lives outside of the scope of small town high school. Talks of plans to find something new and excited were quickly stomped out by the failures of his father. You can recall a 23 year old Mike begging for your company on late nights when his father's drinking had reached a climax.
And you'd gladly show up for him. Abby was only six by that time, and Mike was all she had. Mike spoke about his father with disdain to you. Never crying the way he had as child, but you could see a sad anger within the conversations. And really, you couldn't blame him.
You can remember a night on the roof of your childhood home. It wasn’t your first time sneaking Mike through the window of your bedroom. It was a cold December night, and you were home for the holidays.
“I don’t think my dad’s coming back.”
Your knees were pulled up and under your chin as you rest your head and listened to his worries. “What do you mean?”
He sighed. “I mean, he hasn’t been back for three days and I think this might finally be it.”
You furrowed your brows and met his gaze.
“I’ll move back here.”
In that moment he had begged you not to. You were so close to finishing your degree and he insisted that he could not be the reason you didn’t finish. So you heeded to his wishes. You finished your final semester.
In the 6 months that you were gone after that night, his dad had not returned. Mike had stepped up to be a guardian for his sister. Family court would later assure this in legal documentation.
You had hugged him tightly the first night you were home and assured him that you would be there, for the both of them.
━━━
You would prove that to him when his original babysitter had ghosted him.
“Probably got tired of not being paid.” He had said when you asked why.
You don’t ask for pay. You had a day job that kept you stable enough to live. And as Mike’s hours were night shift, there was really no problem with the arrangement.
It would go on for a few weeks. You hadn’t seen pay, but you didn’t mind. Mike would cook you breakfast when he got home. That was payment enough for you.
But you could notice he wasn’t doing well. Dark circles had formed under his eyes. He had confided in you about the actions of his Aunt Jane. He showed you the papers with bold letters proclaiming a request for a change of custody. His stress and worry made sense to you now.
He would have to prove he was fit, a big ask in a court setting, especially for someone like Mike. You had encouraged him the best you could.
But everything had come to a head on a night when Mike had intended to actually pay you.
He woke you from your light sleep on his couch, alerting you that he was home. He sat his tired body on the recliner.
“There’s a 20 dollar bill in my jacket pocket.”
His eyes are closed as he speaks. It seems the night has been a rough one for him. “You don’t have to, but thank you.” You find the jacket lying on the kitchen table. You feel slightly bad as you reach your hand in to find the bill, but your guilt falls into confusion as your fingers brush the tiny bottle inside.
You let your eyes travel over the orange bottle in your hands. You furrow your brows. You turn to face the recliner he sits in.
"Mike."
He turns his head to face you, tired eyes falling on yours. He sees the bottle in your hands and you can see a sense of uncertainty and dread fall across his features.
"What are these? Sleeping pills?"
He immediately tenses, as if he had been avoiding this topic with everyone. But he responds quietly, “Yes.”
You fall silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. Realistically, there was nothing wrong with sleeping pills. People use them all of the time to sleep. But Mike seems hesitant to cover the topic of these pills and why he uses them.
An additional concern comes up in the way he had stuffed them in his jacket pocket. Why was he taking them to work? You hate the way your thoughts sound like the micromanagement of a mother, but all you can see is the bright yellow of the custody papers and Abby’s sweet face in your mind.
“Have you been taking these at work?”
He’s silent. It’s enough of an answer for you. You sigh as you sit the bottle down on the kitchen counter. You’ve known he wasn’t well. The incident that had gotten him fired from his last job, the dark circles under his eyes, the hardness about him, it all worried you. But you had always chose to let him live. Let him make his mistakes.
“Mike, talk to me. What’s going on with you?”
He lets out a spiteful scoff as if the conversation is beneath his worries at the moment. He lets out a shaky sigh. “I feel connected to him there. I don’t know why, but I do.”
There’s no doubt in your mind who he is referring to. His baby brother. The one he couldn’t save. You let him continue.
“If I can put myself into the right state of mind, I can see it. I can watch it over and over. And if I try hard enough maybe I might see who took him.”
He voice drifts off to a quiet and weak tone, “That’s all that matters to me.”
You can tell he’s hurt by the way that his voice comes out strained and weak, and it hurts you too. It’s not as if you couldn’t understand the pain of the situation. He’d cried to you all those years back when it first occurred. What you can’t understand is how he could let it ruin his relationship with Abby. Abby who is alive and well. Abby who, even if discreet, sees Mike as the moon and stars.
“And what about that little girl who sits around and draws you all day long?”
It makes you feel like a bitch to even say such a thing to him, but if it gives him a shake maybe it’d be worth it. “What about her?”
He stands still as a statue, emotions shifting across his face as he processes the words you’ve shot at him. You’re sure they strike like a bullet. His mouth opens and closes again, so you speak again.
“I know how badly you want to bring him back, Mike. To bring him back and be able to pretend none of that ever happened.”
He furrows his brows and you can the see the hurt flood his expression.
“But you’re going to lose them both if you don’t get your shit together.”
You sigh. You hate the way you sound like a mother scolding a child. You take a shaky breath. “Do you think that this job is really good for you? I mean-“ He cuts you off with a scoff and a laugh.
His tense attitude has you uncomfortable and defensive. You hate the way your voice becomes strained as you speak. “I just think it’s taking a toll on you.”
“I need this job, otherwise I’m never gonna see her again.”
And of course you know that. He needs a job to look good for a court that’s supposed to be able to decide if he’s right to take care of his sister. But what good does a job do on paper if the court can clearly see the way his mental stability is shaky? He hesitates and meets your eyes with a tense look as he speaks,
“You’re here to babysit Abby, not me.”
You stand silently in front of him for a moment before grabbing your coat. You turn toward him. You can see the quirk of regret on his expression, but he doesn’t speak, doesn’t take it back.
“It’s gonna take more than a shitty job that drives you crazy to keep her. I think you should find somebody else to babysit Abby.”
There’s malice in your tone and you hate it. But you can’t make excuses for him. You ignore his voice as he says your name quietly. You just let the door close behind you a you walk to your car. You wait for the door to open again behind your back. It doesn’t.
He doesn’t text you either. In fact, you don’t hear from him for another week and you wonder if he’s already replaced you and plans on holding the grudge.
You assume he must have. He must have found another babysitter for Abby. It seemed he was saving money to actually pay whoever took that role.
You can’t stop yourself from becoming more and more sad as the week goes on. You find yourself worrying more and more about Mike. And Abby. There’s no doubt in your mind that Jane was still adamant on proving in court that Mike was an unfit guardian.
You don’t know why you feel as though your presence could somehow remedy that. You don’t know why you feel an ache so deep in your heart. Friendship breakups are common. But Mike was different.
You still don’t let yourself text him. You would give him the power to choose that route. To choose you and the friendship you had given him since you were both children. And by the end of the week you have to force yourself to sleep.
And by the end of the week you get what you had secretly hoped for.
━━━
The knock on your door is urgent. You're half asleep as you rise out of the comfort of your bed. Your feet press against the cold floor as you rush to see who it could be. As you glance through the peephole you're met with those familiar black curls.
You open the door swiftly, shivering at the cool breeze that flows in. He looks like hell. Abby stands at his side. You're stunned, "Oh my God." You open the door wider and usher the two of them in.
Abby seems to be physically uninjured, while Mike's face is bloodied and bruised. You whisper to Mike,
"What the hell happened?"
He looks to Abby before he answers. "Abby should get some rest while we talk." You nod immediately. "Of course. She can sleep in my bed while I patch you up."
You lead the young girl to the bed and ensure she's tucked in. She thanks you quietly before you leave the room. You grab some first aid supplies from the bathroom cabinet on your way back.
"Sit."
You point Mike in the direction of the couch. He winces as you wipe the open cuts with alcohol wipes. You raise an eyebrow, “ You look like hell, Mike.” He scoffs in response.
“So you gonna tell me who did this to you, or am I just gonna have to keep wondering?”
Mike hesitates. You stop your movements to look at him with concern. He shakes his head, “You’re gonna think I’m crazy.” You sigh,
“Mike, I know you. Just tell me.”
And so he does. He explains everything down to the little details he can remember. It sounds crazy, it absolutely does. But you can’t bring yourself to think he’s faking it.
“I know it sounds crazy, but I know what I saw. She knows what she saw.” He points in the direction of the room Abby was soundly sleeping in.
“I believe you.”
He closes his eyes and exhales a large breath. You continue to clean the cuts along his face and head. “I don’t think you’ll need stitches.” He nods. There’s still an awkward tension between the two of you. He’s upset with himself for letting you leave the way you had, and you’re ashamed of yourself for letting him push you away. You break the silence at the same time,
“You know-“
“I’m sorry-“
You can’t help but laugh a little, and he smiles weakly back at you.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry too.” You continue.
He shrugs. “You were just looking out for me. I understand that now.” It means a lot coming from Mike. He’s stubborn, not usually one to admit when he’s wrong. It makes the moment all the more sincere. You smile slightly, letting a hand brush his cheek where a bruise is blossoming under the skin.
“I wouldn’t have said what I did if I didn’t care about you.”
He nods slowly and leans his cheek into your caress. You can feel the warmth of his hand as he lets it fall to your hip. His voice falls to a whisper.
“I care about you too.”
You smile and swipe a thumb over his bottom lip, where the plush skin has split from impact and smeared blood across his pale chin. He groans as he leans up, it’s only then that you notice the large gash on his side.
He attempts to stand, hobbling on his injured leg. “Mike,” He turns toward your bedroom, ready to grab Abby and get out of your hair. When he turns his back, you can see the blood seeping through his shirt and the large tear across his back. You grab his hand,
“Mike.”
He faces you again, letting a quick glance fall to your now connected hands. “Let her sleep, she’s alright. Let me help you.”
He stands awkwardly in front of your bathroom counter. His muscles flex with each touch of your fingers around his wounds, his fingers gripping the counter until his knuckles are white.
“I think it’d be best if you took this off.”
You’re awkwardly fiddling with the hem of his long sleeve shirt. He meets your gaze in the mirror and you feel small. Your voice is nearly a whisper, “I- I just can’t see.”
You stare at the floor as he pulls the shirt over his head. The gash is messy, but not deep enough to require stitches. Regardless, it’s covered in a thick layer of blood and sweat. You usher him to turn, and you see that the cut on his side is not better.
He can see the way your eyebrows screw together. “Is it that bad?” His voice has a touch of dread hidden in its tone. “I mean,” You glance at him.
“I don’t think you’ll need stitches, but you need to clean them or they’re gonna get infected.”
He swallows and nods. You walk to the shower, turning the knobs and adjusting the water to an appropriate and comfortable temperature. You clear your throat, “Here. I’ll, uh, I’ll let you…do your thing.”
You turn on your heels to give him privacy. As soon as your fingers touch the metallic surface of the doorknob, his hand catches your free hand, pulling gently. You turn toward him, meeting his eye. He pulls you closer and carefully pulls you into an embrace. You’re worried you’ll catch his wounds with your hands so you let them hover above his skin, not actually touching. But you want to.
You can feel his breath on your neck where he’s buried his face. He speaks into the sensitive skin, “Thank you. I don’t thank you enough.” That’s the moment you finally let your hands rest on his skin.
“You don’t have to thank me, Mike. I do it because I care about you.” You gently brush your fingers across his upper back, avoiding his cut. “Besides, you’d do it for me.”
He pulls himself from your neck, and you drop your hands from his back gently, expecting him to pull out of the embrace. But he stays close to you and only pulls back enough to see your face. Your cheeks are so hot. You can feel it and you know he can probably see it. He keeps his hands at your sides, just above your hips in a way that feels respectful. You allow yourself to put your hands on his forearms, thumbs resting in the bend of his elbows.
“Your water is gonna get cold.”
It’s a whisper as it comes out. He simply nods but doesn’t drop his hands from your sides. You smile shyly at him.
“Come with me.”
Your face is instantly hot and you’re suddenly hyper aware of the steam that’s building in the room and around the two of you. With your eyes wide and your mouth opening but no words coming out, he looks at you with hesitation, like he can’t believe the words actually left his mouth.
You can see the fear building on his expression the longer the silence drags on. Thoughts are racing through your head. You’d be lying if you said you’d never thought of this. You loved him. There’d always been a flutter in your stomach and a heat in your cheeks that let you know that perhaps it could be more than a friendship. You want that. But is this really how it’s going to happen?
You imagine the two of you going from childhood friends to becoming well acquainted with each other’s bodies in the span of one stressful night after not speaking for nearly a week. But there are no alarm bells going off in your head. You can’t bring yourself to feel ashamed.
So you kiss him. With his arms still around you and the heat from his bare chest creating a sense of protection from everything. With the whirl of water hitting the tub filling your ears. With the image of Abby sleeping soundly in your bedroom in your mind.
When you pull away, he looks at you with a sense of longing you’ve not seen on him before. You don’t want to say a word, not right now. It’ll be complicated. You know it will be. And you’ll have to have that conversation eventually, but right now the only thing you want is the heat of the water and the silk of his skin against yours.
So you finally unwrap yourself from him to begin working the buttons on your shirt. You’ve turned your brain off momentarily. Your fingers are on autopilot as they remove each article of clothing. If you allowed yourself to think, you’d surely turn in on yourself from the shame.
But when you’re finally bare and displayed in front of him, he doesn’t speak. He only looks with a fondness in his eyes that goes beyond a lustful stare. He slowly works his pants off his injured figure, wincing in the process, and soon he’s just as bare as you.
You’re shaking and cursing yourself internally for doing so. God, why were you shaking? You know he notices as he reaches his hand out to touch your arm lightly, grounding you in reality, and speaks, “Are you okay?”
You nod. More than okay.
The water feels heavenly as it beats against the skin of your back. Mike hobbles into the shower after you. He’s hesitant as you usher him to switch with you. It’s gonna hurt, but it’s necessary.
Your fingers lightly brush the wound on his back. He'd already been wincing slightly from the sting of the water, but your touch has him tensing immediately. You grab a cloth and dampen it enough to be effective in cleaning the general blood and grime from the afflicted wound.
The moment your cloth cover hand touches the  wound, he cries out through closed teeth, "Fucking- fuck!" His hands are planted against the shower wall in front of him. He bites his lip, holding in the whimpers of pain, trying his hardest not to wake Abby.
"Shh. It's okay, Mikey."
You let a gentle hand fall to his non injured side, brushing his skin. You're trying to sooth his tense and pained form as much as possible.
Soon enough you have both gashes cleaned up and ready to be bandaged. Mike turns to face you in the shower. His face still has a slight touch of discomfort to it, but he smiles weakly at you.
“Thank you.”
You smile back and nod. You’ve hardly said a word outside of attempting to sooth his pain with sweet words. The cold is starting to seep in from the tiny crack in the shower curtain. You can feel tiny goosebumps beginning to form on your skin. He frowns slightly and breaks the silence again.
“Did I cross a line…with this?”
Your head is already shaking before you can even comprehend the question. Like your body knows the answer before your mind does. “No, Mike.” He hesitates in his response, standing still and quiet before stepping towards you.
He seems to be able to move around a little better. You’re not sure if it’s the water cleaning the previously irritated wounds or if it’s the adrenaline pumping through his body. Either way you’re thankful as his hands are grabbing at your face and pulling you into another kiss.
It’s sloppier than the previous kiss you had shared, and he’s pushed you back so far that your back is hitting the cold tile of the shower wall. A fog has taken over your mind as you reach around his shoulders, digging your fingers into the plush muscle of his back.
The feeling of his tongue swiping into your mouth has sent you entirely mad. You’re whining slightly at the feeling and your eyes are half lidded. You can’t even think of the fact that this is your childhood best friend kissing you. Making you shudder. You can’t find it in you to care, you want him.
“Mikey…”
It’s a whispered moan as you let your head fall back against the tile, exposing the delicate skin of your neck to his wandering mouth.
Despite his injured form, his hands are tight around you. You'd thought of this before, in the heat of the night alone in your high school bedroom, hormones taking over completely.
You'd imagined the strong grip of his hands and the contrast of his plush lips. The bite of white teeth and soothing warmth of the hot water.
It’s absolutely divine, you think. He is divine. You know you’ll have dark bruises on your neck from the way he bites. You can’t help but run a hand through the hair on the back of his head and tug slightly. The moan is elicits rumbles through your neck and you want more.
You’re absolutely drunk off of the feeling of his body being this close to yours, nearly intertwined. You don’t even think when your nails swipe the cut on his back. That is until he lets out a yelp in the crook of your neck and promptly jump back.
You’re wide eyed immediately, realizing what you’d just done.
“I’m- I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Mike.”
You can still see the remnants of a wince on his face but he laughs. And you find yourself letting out a nervous laugh with him. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”
You laugh again, holding the palm of your head to your forehead.
“We should probably get out. It’s getting cold.”
You nod.
━━━
You manage to sneak past Abby’s sleeping figure long enough to grab old clothes from your room. You find yourself thanking the universe than Abby is a heavy sleeper.
You’re also thankful that you hadn’t given Mike back an old t-shirt that he had left in your home years ago. He smiles at you when you hand it to him. He puts it on and examines the familiar print on the front.
“You’ve been holding this one hostage, huh?”
You gently nudge his shoulder and let out a chuckle. “Shut up.”
You’ve layered blankets in the middle of your living room floor. You speak as you lay pillows down on the makeshift palette. “Abby is sleeping peacefully, I’m not letting you drive home tonight, and there’s no way I’m letting you sleep on my tiny couch.”
You point exaggeratedly at the “bed” you’ve created for the two of you. “Ta-da.” You let yourself fall back onto the layers of pillows and blankets. It’s surprisingly cushioned. You sigh. “Actually not that bad, Mikey.”
He watches you with a smile from his seat on your couch. “You’ve really out done yourself.” He slides off the couch and into the layers of blankets and pillows next to you. He turns to rest on his uninjured side, facing you. It’s dark in the room, but you’ve left one lamp on. You can see his features glow under the warm light. You brush a hand on his cheek lightly.
“I’m glad you didn’t die tonight, Mike.”
He snickers, but you’re serious. The thought of his face on the news, just another tragedy at Freddy’s, haunts you. “I’m serious.”
He simply stares at you. “You’re not gonna go back there, right?” He closes his eyes and shakes his head slowly.
“I don’t know how I’m gonna take care of her. I can’t keep a job.”
Your thumb brushes at his cheek, soothing his tension. “I’ll help you. When have I ever left you alone in this?” You shiver as you think of the only time you’d walked out on him after that heated argument. You push the thought away and close your eyes.
“Really love you, Mike. You’re my best friend.”
You open your eyes hesitantly and you can see the shine of moisture in his. “Love you too.”
You place a kiss on his lips. It’s chaste, but full of a deep warmth. It leaves you wondering what comes next.
You tuck yourself in close to him.
“Goodnight, Mike.”
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graysnetwork · 5 months
Text
i was watching Gilmore girls at the beginning of the year i think and then i suddenly got the urge to watch again, so i'm finally on the last episode of season 2. Im completely in love with Tristan but at the moment i'm loving jess (i also searched up jess edits on tiktok and i've spoiled things for myself so i will be debating on skipping that one scene)
Also Ik this is not the best but I hope u guys like it
Warnings— none
Summary— Jess is turning into a great student and Luke not lorelai can think of a reason he’s become an amazing kid all of a sudden.
The library
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Two full weeks, two full weeks had gone by now and no calls from the school had been made to Luke's phone. This was more concerning than actually getting calls from the school. And another notable thing was that Jess started leaving every day at the same time 6:30 and he'd come back home at 9:30 or even earlier.
Luke was getting suspicious but he didn't exactly know how to bring it up since it was very possible he was cheating on his tests, maybe copying off some one else for work. So he decided he'd mention it another day, and every time that decided day came by he'd put it off again, and again.
the two of them were in the diner, it was surprisingly very quiet, there was only one person which was also surprising and then the person walked out. Jess started cleaning up the table before checking his watch.
6:15
He dropped the towel and rushed upstairs, he came back down with a backpack, had he been hiding that thing?
"where are you goin?" Luke asked, finally looking up from the counter “somewhere.” “what do you have in there?” “some things” he shrugged and opened the door, before he could even get one foot out the door he could hear Luke’s heavy steps get closer to him, he turned around again.
“What do you have in there” Luke said again, “why do you wanna know, it’s nothing important” Jess rolled his eyes and checked his watch again.
6:20
“I’ve never even seen you come outside with a backpack, and I need to know if you’re stealing things again” Luke gave him an annoyed stare, Jess unzipped the the bag and showed the books in his backpacks.
“Oh” Luke muttered, and looked over to the side “happy? Cause I need to get going” he zipped the bag up again. “where have you been going?” Luke sighed, it was time he got the truth.
“why do you wanna know?” Jess rolled his eyes again, “because I gotta know these things” another sigh came out of Luke, and Jess mumbled something. It took a good few minutes to get him to admit.
“I’m goin to the library”
He said it quietly but at least it was coherent.
———
“You’re late” you smiled as Jess sat down in front of you, “I know, I’m sorry, Luke wouldn’t let me go until I told him where I was going and what I was bringing” he smiled back at you and took out his books. “well, you’re here now, that’s what matters to me, now what’s today? math?” You smiled again and the two of you started opening your books.
“Today is math day” jess nodded and started reading your math notes.
———
“Jess, in the library? Is he meeting behind it and doing something?” Lorelai drank her coffee, “I didn’t think about that” Luke said as he gave her a doughnut.
The moment very quickly ended when Jess came in and quickly went upstairs without saying a word, Luke and Lorelai could hear the thud from Jess’s backpack hitting the floor.
Jess came back down and grabbed a doughnut; pink icing. Very weird to the two adults in the diner. Unknowing to them the only reason he grabbed it was because you swore that the pink icing on the doughnuts taste different.
———
“So anything new and interesting happening?” You asked as you and Jess walked around after studying, it was the quickest you’ve ever studied but that was because it was English, all jess had to do was read and write some answers.
“no, but, if you call getting a new shipments for the diner interesting, than yes, there something new happening” he smiled at you, “sounds very interesting” you smiled back at him.
“what about you?” Jess turned to you again “what about me? Nothing” you shrugged “cmon there’s gotta be something that’s happened so far this week” Jess said, “there’s nothing, nothings happened, and im 100 percent sure nothings gonna happen” you smiled again at him.
He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and smiled “how about I give you something to look forward to then since you’re free” Jess’s brows perked up, “really? how?” your hand reached up and grabbed his that was on your shoulder.
“how bout you, me, and chinese food, and we can do it on, Friday? You said your parents are leaving on Friday right?” He smiled as you two got closer to Luke’s diner.
“yeah, my parents are going on Friday.. that sounds like a plan” you smiled “it’s a date” he smiled. “Cmon I’ll walk you home” he walked past the diner “thanks Jess” you wrapped your arm around his waist as the two of you continued you way down the street.
-
“Did I see that right?” Lorelai’s eyes were wide and her brows were furrowed, “wow” Luke said, it was the only thing that could be uttered at the moment as they had just seen; You and Jess walking together.
“That must be why he’s going to the library so much! y/n’s always at the library!” Her mouth hung open in shock, it was silent for a few moments “y’know what, this is good” like said as he nodded while drinking his coffee.
“This is good?” She looked at him confused, “yes, he’s doing good in school, and it seems like he really likes y/n, as long as he isn’t hurting her, or doing bad things than I’m happy about this” Luke smiled “I guess this is good..” Lorelai smiled back at him.
———
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sammy-halpert · 4 months
Text
"That's just cute now"
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Author note: I just haven't seen a new fanfic for ages, so here you go!
Warnings: some cursing, rest is pure fluff <3
You and Wilbur are friends since around four years and have moved in together a year ago. It was very common for Wilbur to be either by his computer all day or with his band, but he still uses every break he has to spend it with you, but obviously he doesn't tell you that and makes you belive he has some breaks alone.
You've had a crush on him the day you saw him. His tlal figure towering over you, his soft presence, his little dirty jokes and the British accent were really something for you. The crush had become so big, you noitice everything. You noitice if he has a new piece of clothing, if there is a new picture in his phone case, even if he gets the smallest paper cut you find out.
But again it felt like he just sees you as a close friend. One time you and him had been watching a movie and he had held you, cuddling you. Of course, he was tired and everything. The next few days it felt like he was ignoring you, avoiding eye contact... blushing?
Wilbur left to record a new sorry boys video, till 7pm, currently it's 6:21pm. Cuddled up in your bed, wearing a t-shirt as you are scrolling on your phone, back faced to the bedroom door. Lovejoy is playing in your headphones and the sound of some videos as you scroll by.
After a little but you come across an edit of a certain someone... (I'll add the video you saw because I am very fucking delusional and I need as much detail in everything possible :D)
'Oh fuck' You thought. Being attracted to him and then seeing these videos made you want to kick your legs and giggle like a high-school girl. You really love this man more than you thought. The next thing you know, you find yourself on a rabbit hole on Tik tok and watching the edits of him, saving them one by one and putting them into an photo album of him.
You've been collecting pictures of him since years, taking some yourself and others from the Internet. It feels to weird have so many pictures of your best friend and admiring them every time you couldn't sleep, but you couldn't help it.
After a while of collecting the videos you take your time and start to look at every single video or photo in the album, zoning out a couple times to think of how to confess to him. You know it's the best thing to just tell him straight up, but you had five worries.
What if he says that he doesn't like you back ? That will be the most awkward friendship ever.
Courage. You don't have it when it comes to Wilbur and confessing.
The 'Oh no I'm gonna fuck this up so bad' feeling the second you try to talk to him about it.
He misunderstands you. What if he thinks you said something else? You already had mustered up all your courage and he didn't understand it. No thank you, another time.
What if he immediately ends the friendship? What if he doesn't want to live with someone who has a huge crush on him? Yeah no, not taking that risk.
You are so lost in a trance you don't hear the front door open. The pictures of him just make you feel like you're on a cloud and turn your eyes into hearts. You are indeed hear over heels for him.
"(Name) I'm back!" Wilbur shouted from the front door as he take soft his shoes and jaket. He stops as you don't answer. "(Name)?" He shouted and looked into the direction of your room. He frowns as worry swarms over him. Did something bad happen to you. He hurries and throws his shoes into the corner instead of carefully putting them there.
Headphones still in use and you are still lost in the pictures. You can't get enough of his looks. The pictures really had something and you didn't noitice his steps or shouts of your name.
Wilbur opens your bedroom door without even knocking, too worried. "(Name)?" He sees you on the bed and mentally sighs relifed. You haven't noiticed him yet, and he knows. An idea gets into his mind and he silently sneaks to your bed, your bsck still facing him and the door. He was about to give you a tickle attack before he saw what you are doing. You are... Looking at images of him, and edits? He watches you swipe in the galleries and they never seemed to stop.
A smile creeps up on his face. You like him back?! He couldn't belive it. He was glad he doesn't have to isolate himself anymore after they cuddle because he needs to recharge the act of not liking you that way. But he won't need the act anymore.
Instead of tickling you, he lays down by your side and spoons you, arms wrapping around your waist and a face nuzzled into your neck, a familiar scent entering your nose.
You quickly turn your phone off in hopes he didn't see anything and take off your headphones. "Oh- hi Will. I didn't hear you" You mumble, blushing. Usually you never cuddle expect for when watching movies. "Mmh... I know" He hummed into your neck.
Spooning isn't your favourite cuddling position so you turn around and nuzzle onto him, head resting on his chest. He pulls you closer and caresses your hair.
What is going on? He is never that affectionate. Like never. Not even while watching movies. Did something happen?
"I see you've spent your time missing me?" You could hear the smile in his voice as clear as day, his hand now resting on your arm, thumb strocking you. "What?" It came out of your mouth without thinking any further and a chuckle moves his chest.
"I mean, you must have missed me a lot that you didn't even hear me come home, because you were too busy staring at my photos." HE SAW THAT?! Now that's where embarrassment becomes cringing. Oh please just make him think you are playing a prank on him, but he knows you're not that big of a prankster. The furthest you go is make him say 'Ben Dover.'
"I was cleaning up my gallery" You mumble and bury your face into his chest. This is so embarrassing. It seems he's catching into that crush of yours, but he seems very cool with it.
"That's just cute now" He mumbles under his breath with a soft chuckle. "(Name). I know that if you have more than eighr pictures of the same guy in a row in your gallery, you are simpinggg" He says in a teasing tone but he was dead serious. "You wanna say I have a crush on you?" You scoff, trying your best to make it seem like you find it funny that he's apperantly so wrong.
Wilbur sighs. "You won't say it so I will." A soft hand comes up from your arm and gently pushes you s bit away so you can look at him without breaking your neck and then comes to your chin, tilting it up to look at him. Then he comes up close, his nose only an inch from you." I love you. Not bestie way. The romantic way." He leans in but centimeters befor your lips he stops. Puppy eyes look into yours and you feel his breath again your lips as he asks in a whisper. "May I? Please"
You know Wilbur is a huge gentle man, so it wasn't a big suprise he asked for concent and to be honest, you liked it a lot. A nod from you was all it took and his lips are now pressed against yours. The hand on your chin moves up to your cheek as the other tone is tucked under you and on your back.
Butterflies fill both of your stomach's as your lips move rhythmically against each other. After a moment or two he pulls away and looks at you with this familiar look in his eyes. Before this you always saw those eyes as his normal rest look, but now you realise, it was a look of love. He had looked at you so many times with this look you thought it was his rest look, but his actual resting face was around his other friends. Around you, he's the softest softie you'll ever know.
An adorable smile curls his lips and you couldn't help but smile back. He holds you close and you wrap your ams around him aswell, cuddling onto his warm and soft presence.
"You're mine now, (Name)"
"Gladly"
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Taglist:
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stxrvel · 3 months
Text
i don't wanna live forever (2)
summary: you and Steve share some time together after so much time apart, and you finally start getting closer to your goal back in Europe after so many years
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
words: +4k
warning: just some bad words
note: hey guys! hope u guys like this part! we're getting close to the mythic winter soldier >:). i'll try to edit and publish next part tomorrow after work. i'm close to finish this fic, probably will be 6-7 chapters. so i'll see you around, thank you for the support <3
part 1 ; part 3 ; part 4
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You thought having Steve back would make things better. Not that they were any worse, but there couldn't have been a worse time to go through a goddamn alien invasion.
“Holy shit,” you spoke into the air, but Steve at your side elbowed you, hearing you clearly, his scowl meeting you amidst the masses of air. “Are you seeing what I see?”
“Do you have to say it like that?“
“Ah, poor, right Steve. God save him from hearing a bad word because a little star on his suit will die,” Tony Stark walked past you, catching up to overhear the conversation, teasing you with a smirk on his face. You tensed as he passed behind you, shaking your head to avoid his gaze, earning you a confused look from Steve.
Tony continued on his way, currently accustomed to you not even glancing his way when they were in the same place. His suit was almost completely shredded, an unfamiliar feeling of dread coursing through you from the pit of your stomach until you felt the heartburn in the back of your throat bother you. Ever since you saw on the news that he was proclaimed Ironman, that feeling of dread had been with you every time you saw him. You knew why, but you didn't want to give voice to those thoughts…
“For a person who's lived this many years, you're pretty bad at dissembling,” Steve spoke again as Tony disappeared down the hallway and you shook your head shutting him up, refocusing on what was important. “I can't believe I crashed a plane into the Arctic just to get this thing back to the surface before me.”
“Well, it'll be in good hands now,” you nodded in the direction of the approaching Norse god, his walk a bit overbearing as he dedicated sidelong glances at them as he approached the scepter of Loki, his brother.
“If you're done admiring it, time to go.”
Steve moved in the direction of the elevator, waving his hand for you to join him, but you shook your head in refusal and pointed him to the stairs. Your friend didn't read too much into your gesture, lifting a shoulder and resuming his walk to where the rest of the team was grouped. Just looking at them, you remembered the smug smile Fury had given you when you agreed, finally, to be part of the team, after learning that Steve would be too. He was damn lucky, that's all, because that wouldn't happen again. What were the odds of two alien invasions happening in one year, after all?
After they delivered the scepter and Loki, you'd be long gone from there, focusing on your primary mission in getting into SHIELD in the first place, which Fury had as much knowledge of as you did.
“Hey,” you greeted Steve again, meeting him just after the Norse gods disappeared.
“Hey,” he approached, wearing that brown leather jacket he hadn't let go of since the moment he touched it. The team was taking their leave behind him, each focusing on their own business from now on. As you crossed glances with Natasha Romanoff, that feeling of familiarity coursed through your body once again. It was odd, you were sure you had seen her sometime before. “Do you want a ride?”
You saw Steve shake his head in the direction of his motorcycle, moving faster than him as you sensed Tony was approaching to say goodbye.
“Is something wrong with your friend?” you heard him speak and as each time you couldn't help but compare his voice to Howard. They were so alike in their youth and adulthood. You didn't even want to think about becoming a close person in his life when you knew what you knew. If he found out about it through other means it would be a disaster. As much as you wanted to look out for his safety, perhaps as Howard would've liked, you didn't want to cross that line without figuring out all the loose ends first. That would be a problem if Fury ever thought of summoning them back.
“She's shy,” Steve replied, and you had to hold back the urge to reach back and pat his head. “Big fan of yours.”
“Really?” Tony sounded genuinely surprised. “I thought she hated me.”
“No, not at all. She studied some mechanical stuff too and admires your work from afar. But you know, never meet your idols,” you could make out Steve's smile behind your words, inwardly wincing with embarrassment.
“Well, I'm not that bad. Tell her anytime she wants we can talk.”
You heard no more of their conversation, feeling the bile travel down your esophagus to the back of your throat. How Tony could look at you and not recognize you as the strange woman who sat next to him at his father's wake was completely beyond you, but you weren't too intrigued if it helped you stay away. You didn't want him to start asking questions.
When you heard Steve's footsteps approach and the doors of Tony's red car close, you turned around to face your friend, his face of fake innocence angering you a little.
“You're an asshole,” you spat the words at him almost in a half-whisper, afraid that for some reason Tony might hear them.
“There's not that much of a lie in what I said,” the blond barely lifted a shoulder, mounting his motorcycle.
“You could've simply told him the truth: I do dislike him.”
“That's not true,” Steve shook his head, starting the motorcycle after you got on behind him.
“How could you know that?”
“He's Howard's son,” Steve blurted out, your movements slowing as you tried to get comfortable looking at him in the bike's mirror. “You couldn't hate him, even if you wanted to.”
You didn't rebut, not because he was right, but because it was the first time he'd mentioned Howard since you'd seen him after almost seventy years.
Since you'd run into him in that secret section of SHIELD, you two hadn't had much time for you to fill him in on the things that had happened, Fury jumping into the action directly telling them that the object Steve sacrificed his life for was back in the hands of the enemy and they needed to stop him. You could barely tell him about Howard's death and about Peggy as they were thrown onto the battlefield.
Now, as Steve drove you back to your apartment, all you could think about was that you still hadn't had time to have that talk. That talk where you would have to tell him a lot of things.
The smell of lavender that prevailed in your apartment did little to calm the little anxiety you felt the moment Steve closed the door behind him. A strange tension surrounded your shoulders and you were sure he felt it too, by the odd way he cleared his throat, moving into the living room, where he seemed to almost touch the ceiling of how small everything was.
“Nice place,” he commented absently, eyeing the paintings and colorful bookshelves you had in the living room and dining room.
“Sit. Want some coffee?” you ran to the kitchen, looking to escape that searing uncertainty.
“Water's fine.”
Fine. Water it is.
Returning to the living room, you found him mounted in your largest armchair, his knees too bent toward his chest for all the space he took up.
“So…”
“Are you going to tell me what happened?”
Straight to the point. You didn't blame him, he must have been too curious. You didn't even know how he'd spent those days swallowing the urge to ask.
So you got straight to the point. You told him everything that happened after he crashed the plane. You told him about his funeral, about how the government started chasing you so hard that you had to leave the country and you kept going for years only because of Howard; you told him about how Peggy went on with her life, working, founding SHIELD many years later with Howard; you told him about Howard dying in a car accident, the half-truth burning your throat. Steve didn't even think anything was wrong by the way your voice cracked and you fought to keep the tears inside, what you were realizing was harder now that he was here. You told him that you came back from Europe thanks to Peggy, as head of SHIELD, making sure to keep you under her protection, and currently you still were. Maybe you had as much power as the Director himself because of how much Peggy saw to it that the Feds didn't bother.
You told him about Peggy getting sick, about her Alzheimer's. You told him how she hardly remembered things now; she had few lucid moments and forgot things very quickly. You gave him a moment to assimilate the information when you noticed his eyes sparkling.
“But she… did she live well?”
“Very well,” you nodded, smiling sincerely.
Steve nodded, letting a little tension escape from his shoulders. The silence that enveloped you two was a little more pleasant, leaving room for you to stop overthinking about what you should and shouldn't tell Steve.
“And you… what did you do all those years in Europe?” Steve was perceptive to take the one topic you didn't delve into at all, and you sighed in defeat. “It was… what, forty-five years?”
“Yes,” you nodded in the middle of a sigh, your gaze returning to the black TV screen, Steve's eyes fixed on your profile. “I studied a lot.”
“I assumed so, but was that all?”
“You might say. I studied nine majors,” you counted mentally, remembering the pictures that were stored somewhere in that apartment, courtesy of Peggy and Howard.
Steve whistled, a short laugh following his surprised expression.
“And why didn't you want to talk about that?”
“It's not that interesting-”
“Not that interesting? Better tell me what grades you have,” Steve grumbled, not giving way for you to try to avoid the subject one more time. Being that you had only talked about it with Peggy before, you took an inspiration to remember what it was like to tell her to reminisce with Steve.
“I started with some basics. Bachelor's degrees in math, physics and chemistry. Then I moved on to some engineering: mechanical, electronics, mechatronics. Astronomy, criminology, some marketing to survive when I went back to the States and they were in the middle of the technology revolution. I was studying medicine when Peggy called me back.”
“What year?”
“First one.”
“Wow,” Steve looked at you, as if he suddenly had to see you in a different light, his eyebrows still raised in surprise. “That's amazing. You know a little bit about everything.”
“Yeah, it really helped me get some good jobs and break even so Howard and Peggy didn't have to spend so much,” you nodded in his direction, his gaze intent on everything you were saying.
“I'm glad they took such good care of you,” Steve gave a lopsided smile, the warmest, most memory-evoking smile he could have given you.
“I wish I could've repaid them for all they did for me,” you commented, with a tone of remorse and sadness that Steve picked up on instantly.
“I'm sure they were more than satisfied to know you were okay. That was their priority. You know you couldn't make those decisions for them, right?”
You nodded, lips pressed into a thin line.
Steve took in all the information you had to give him like a sponge, surely thinking that after seeing an alien invasion nothing could be that surprising. You guys spent a good while there, relaxing in your living room, placing food orders when the conversation turned to movies and series that Steve knew nothing about.
You spent an excellent rest of the day, Steve asking the odd question here and there, until you decided to watch the Star Wars movies first at the blond's request. You felt like they were back in '43 again, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, dreaming of the possibility of a life beyond what their social context allowed them.
Perhaps your dream was fulfilled in the most unexpected way possible.
-
The days ahead were now to be very careful. Steve would be spending more time at SHIELD, being that it would become basically his full-time job, and you needed to likewise spend time there focusing on your primary mission.
“What?”
Fury's eyebrows inched up, his face showing disbelief enough to make you doubt your decisions for a second, his forearms resting on his desk leaning forward. You shook your head slightly, maintaining your posture.
“I'm not going to tell him.”
“Why the hell not?” Fury raised his voice, as if for some reason your decision affected him personally.
“Because I don't want to, Nicholas. And I need you to help me cover it up.”
“Ah,” the man slumped back in his black chair, one hand rubbing his forehead as if the subject caused him as much of a headache as it did her. “Not only do you have to lie, but you have to lump me in the lying sack with you.”
“I'm not lying…! That much…”
“You do know that lies have short legs? What are you going to do when he finds out?”
“Nicholas, I need you to understand that Steve is not my priority right now. It's been twenty-one years and we haven't made any progress. I need to get to the fucking bottom of this, because whoever is behind it is still out there. I'm sure of it.”
Fury pursed his lips, barely shaking his head in a subtle nod, reluctanly agreeing with you finally.
“I'll put Steve on the front lines of every mission I can find,” Fury conceded to your request, his index finger tapping the wood of his desk like clockwork.
“Thank-”
“But you,” he raised his hand, pointing that index finger at you accusingly, interrupting your genuine thanks, “you're going to have to start thinking outside the box.”
“I have some guesses, actually.”
Fury rested his arms on the edge of the desk, leaning over to give you his undivided attention.
“Enlighten me.”
-
“So you're going back to Europe,” was the first thing you heard Steve say when you met him at SHIELD, two months after extreme missions he had to attend, barely spending a day at the facility before leaving again.
At first you thought Fury was overdoing it and offered to talk to him if he wanted to slow down, but surprisingly Steve was fine with it. In fact, he told you that it helped him deal with all the stress of having been in the Arctic for seventy years, and since you hadn't been through anything like that, you weren't going to judge.
“Yeah, evil doesn't rest,” you smiled absently at him, holding tightly to the strap of the black travel suitcase with enough belongings for a whole year.
“You know I already have a phone, right? You can call me,” Steve commented, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket and shaking it in front of her to emphasize his request.
“Yeah, you gave me your number last week.”
“Ah, I just wanted to remind you because it's been five days since we've seen each other and I just found out you're going on a one-way trip,” his reproachful voice, but with some amused tones in there somewhere, made you wince as you remembered that you had indeed forgotten to inform your friend that you were going away, for quite a long time. In your defense, you had already gone too many years without telling anyone anything, and you were just getting used to having a friend to talk to more often again.
“Sorry,” you offered him an embarrassed smile, barely earning the shake of his head from side to side. “I'll bring lots of gifts from Europe, I promise.”
You raised your free hand to the level of your head, smiling more confidently at him, with his you better response echoing in your head as you averted your gaze to find behind him Tony Stark walking directly towards where you two were standing. There was no way you could run away from the inevitable interaction with the mechanic without overlooking saying goodbye to Steve, when you weren't going to see him for probably a long time. So you tensed up, the blond reading your body language long before you realized you were being too obvious.
And just as Steve was about to turn around, Tony patted his shoulder in salute.
“Nice to see you again,” through his sunglasses, he smiled openly at you, and you had to force a tight-lipped smile under Steve's tense gaze on you. “What are they up to now? Fury called me in for a confidential thing, won't I be teaming up with you guys?”
You were quick to shake your head, Steve barely muttering a no, amused to see you so dazed and nervous in front of the mechanic.
“That's too bad. I don't think-” Tony interrupted his own words as his phone vibrated in his pocket. Answering it right in front of them, you shrank in place trying to run away from there. “Happy.”
“Tony,” the man on the other end of the line didn't sound so happy to hear it unlike Tony, who had a big smile on his face. “Why are you forwarding my calls?”
“What? No, of course not. It's just that you're on my blocking contacts when I activate do not disturb and since I was driving…” Stark lifted a shoulder, indifferent to the looks you and Steve shared in front of him.
The other line on the phone was silent for a few seconds until chaos broke out.
“Pourquoi tu ne réponds pas aux appels? Pourquoi pas une urgence? Et si ta maison était en feu?” Happy grumbled from the other end, Tony scowling at the phone as if it was the fault of technology.
“Happy, how many times do I have to tell you to stop talking to me in French? I don't under-”
“He's asking you to answer the phone when you call, maybe someday it will be an emergency,” you translated before you could stop yourself, biting your tongue when Steve sent you a raised eyebrow look with a playful smile.
“You know French?” Tony addressed you, probably as surprised as you were because it was the first time you'd actively addressed him.
“She studied mechanics in France,” your friend spoke before you could think of anything on your own, and you had to physically battle to restrain your body from punching him in the face.
Steve had to stop doing that.
“Wow. Impressive,” Tony shook his head in nods, detailing her with his eyes with genuine curiosity.
“Tony!” Happy's voice interrupted the moment that felt tense, and Tony refocused on the reason he'd entered the SHIELD facility in the first place.
“Ah,” the mechanic grumbled, moving to continue on his way. “See you guys later.”
He waved his hand as he walked, turning his back to them and you followed him with your eyes until he disappeared down the hallway. At least he was still alive.
When you looked back at Steve, that strange smile hadn't disappeared from his face.
“What other language do you speak?”
He looked like a child, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.
“I'm not going to talk to you right now.”
You held the strap of the suitcase to sling it over your shoulder and walk in the direction of the exit, when Steve snatched it out of your hands and slung it over his own shoulder, his offended look being the only thing you got back.
“Why not?”
“You need to stop saying those things to Tony,” you frowned at him, lowering your voice as if, again, the mechanic might hear them. “Don't you know that lies have short legs?”
Steve laughed like you’d never heard before, probably not even in the forties, taking his stomach for a laugh. When you went out to the avenue and he followed you with sporadic laughter, you could not help but outline your own smile, missing in advance the time you spent with him.
“I can’t believe you said that,” Steve shook his head, his face red from laughing so much. He was barely calming down when you managed to stop a cab.
“You’re an idiot,” you snatched the suitcase from his hands and gave it to the taxi driver who had just gotten out of his car. “I guess this is goodbye.”
“For now. You’re not going to get rid of me so easily this time,” Steve joked, approaching to wrap you in a big hug. You wrapped your arms around his neck, even though you had to stand on your toes to hug him tightly. The serum hadn’t given you as much height as he had. “Call me, write me or just let me know how you are. At least once a day.”
“Yeah dad,” you walked away, breaking the hug and shaking your hands casually. “I’ll keep you in the loop.”
“Take care.”
“Sure. You take care of Peggy,” his eyes softened, the mere memory of Peggy returning him.
“Of course.”
His warm smile was the last thing you saw before getting into the cab.
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Text
Where's Mommy?
Wolffe x Fem!Reader
Part 9
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Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.
Pairing: Wolffe x Fem!Reader
Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC), Comet, Sinker, Boost, Warthog
Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, reader is not the spouse, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff
Word Count: 1.5k 1.9k
Author's Note: I'm going to be honest y'all. I'm struggling with my health right now, so I don't think I did this part justice. It's a transitional chapter of mostly Cara just being a little kid and Wolffe having to deal with it. Nothing angsty, but we are headed towards more angst. As always, please enjoy 💚(EDITED 4/16)
Beta: Please meet my new beta reader/editor @beating-a-dead-plot!
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10
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Wolffe packs up the rest of his wife's things, or at least, the pieces of her that he finds the most important. The box is almost full, and he knows Cara is going to have a difficult time leaving some of her things behind, so he decides to leave a little room if she needs it. Putting the box aside, he reaches for his duffle to pack his own belongings. At the very least, he can keep his duffle in the barracks. It's great for storing things that he doesn't care about losing or damaging.
With everything packed in either the box or the duffle, Wolffe scans the room one last time to ensure he didn't miss anything. He knows he'll never be back after today, and there is a lot he can't take with him. If he could fold up their entire bed and throw it into his duffle bag he would, but he can't. He snorts at the stupid thought while staring at the bed, then his eyes catch on his wife's pillow. If he squishes it, he can make it fit into his duffle, which is exactly what he does.
Now, Wolffe is sure he has everything that he can take with him. It's still not enough, though. How does one condense years of their life into a single box and a duffle bag? It used to make sense to him, during his time on Kamino. Clones are property, and property can't own other property, so he never had things outside of the standard clone-issued items he carried in his pack. His wife was the one who helped him understand that useless things could be precious.
With a heavy sigh, Wolffe slings the duffle over his shoulder and picks the box up off the bed. He walks to the bedroom door to leave, but stops in the frame, his feet stuck like they're sinking into quicksand. He turns and looks at the room. This is where she slept. This is where they slept. This is where they made Cara. When did he get so attached? It's just a room. When did goodbyes become this hard? He forces his feet to move and flips the light off for the last time.
On his way to the kitchen, his leg gets attacked by a ferocious child.
"Daddy!" Cara yells as she crashes into him and wraps her arms around his leg.
Wolffe steps back with his other foot to steady himself and Sinker quickly grabs the box he's holding before it falls on top of Cara. With the crisis averted, Wolffe releases a slow breath to calm himself as he feels the adrenaline course through his already stressed body. There's nothing that scares him faster than his daughter being in danger, even if he's the one causing the danger. He takes a moment to breathe, then slips his duffle off onto the ground next to him.
He bends down to peel his daughter off his leg and hoists her up onto his hip. "What's the matter baby?" he asks.
She cups her hands around his left ear and whispers loudly. "I need to tell you something."
Wolffe grimaces and tilts his head away. "Yeah? What's that?"
"I love you with my whole carrot," she says and she flings her arm around his neck to hug him.
Wolffe knits his eyebrows together and repeats the word under his breath. "Carrot?" Maybe he just lost his hearing in that ear.
Comet walks by with Cara's box and laughs at Wolffe's obvious confusion. He leans over and whispers in Wolffe's other ear. "Ka'rta."
Wolffe snorts and shakes his head. "I love you with my whole carrot, too, baby."
"Daddy, I'm hungry," she says.
"I knew that was coming," Wolffe sighs. He places her down onto the ground and walks off to find the pancakes he saved for her.
While making his way to the kitchen, Wolffe eyes Cara's box that's filled to the brim and then some. "Was there anything she couldn't fit?" he asks Comet, who is also looking for a snack in the kitchen. "I saved some room in my box just in case."
Comet doesn't turn around from his foraging in the cabinets. "I think she's all set." He pushes a box aside and grabs a cereal bar. "Had to make some adjustments to the baby blanket, but it went over well."
Wolffe nods to himself and sighs, but only because he's half listening and his mind is running in eight different directions. "Then I guess we're all set."
"Not quite," Comet says with his mouth full. Turning on his heels, he walks over to the hook on the wall where the flower print apron hangs and gently pulls it off. "I think Cara will want it someday."
The corner of Wolffe's lip raises in a small, but pained smile as Comet hands the apron to him. Wolffe scrunches the fabric in his hands and touches it to his face. It smells like memories, but not the same memories as her pillow. Different memories. Memories of warm food, cheerful laughter, drinks being snorted out of noses, brothers gathering together to share a meal, and love. So much love that it made the war feel like a fleeting dream that he could forget about.
Before Wolffe can be brought to tears by his thoughts, he pulls the apron away from his face and folds it gently, with reverence. Her memories deserve respect even if it's just a scrap of cloth. Once folded, he squats down next to his box and carefully places the apron in the empty space he left for Cara. She may not care about her mother's pillow or her chapstick like he does, but one day, she'll be able to wear that apron and remember how much her mother loved her.
Wolffe grits his teeth and pushes his emotions back before standing up. He places a hand on Comet's shoulder and squeezes. "Thank you."
Comet places his hand on top of Wolffe's and squeezes back. "You're welcome."
"Daddy!" Cara calls from the other room. "I'm hungry!"
Comet chuckles. "Better get a move on daddy."
Wolffe rolls his eyes and sighs. "Don't make me regret thanking you."
Comet shrugs with a self-satisfied grin as Wolffe walks past him and towards the conservator.
While Wolffe looks for the pancakes in the conservator, the doorbell rings and his heart sinks. It can't be that time already, can it? He knows they have to leave, but that doesn't mean he's ready for it. He wishes he had someone to tell him that everything will be alright, like he can with Cara. He can hold her, soothe her, and make her feel safe, but there's no one to do that for him, not anymore. His wife made him feel invincible during times of uncertainty, and now she's gone.
Boost answers the door and huffs. "It's about time you showed up."
"Well, someone had to take care of the battalion," Warthog retorts. "Not everyone gets to play uncle."
"Auggie!" Cara exclaims and runs to hug his leg.
"Ad'ika!" Warthog smiles and picks her up, rubbing his nose against hers. "How's the youngest member of the Wolfpack?"
"I'm okay," she says.
From the kitchen, Comet watches the exchange with a raised eyebrow. "Auggie?" he asks. "Why Auggie?"
"She doesn't like to say Warthog," Wolffe explains as he pulls out the bag of pancakes. "So, she shortened it... I think."
Comet crosses his arms. "How come we don't get cool nicknames?"
Wolffe rolls his eyes and places the bag of pancakes on the counter. "You really want to be called Come, Sink, and Boo?"
"Nevermind," Comet says. "I'm good."
Wolffe laughs and clasps a hand on Comet's shoulder. "That's what I thought."
Wolffe walks past Comet and over to the door to greet Warthog. He's not happy to see him, but that's not Warthog's problem, it's his. The general commed Wolffe not long after they left the hospital to let him know that he would be sending Warthog to pick them and their things up late morning and bring them to the Jedi Temple so they can get settled before the funeral that evening. The funeral. That's something else Wolffe has been trying not to think about too much.
Warthog bounces Cara in his arms and looks at Wolffe with concern. "You alright, Commander?"
Wolffe sighs. "That obvious?"
Warthog makes a knowing face. "Kinda."
"I've been better," Wolffe breathes.
"Daddy!" she calls while squirming in Warthog's arms.
"I'm right here, baby," Wolffe says. "What's the matter?"
Cara bends backwards in Warthog's arms to see Wolffe. "I'm thirsty," she whines. "And I'm hungry."
A lightbulb goes off in Wolffe's mind. "Cup," he says as he walks back to the kitchen. "I forgot her cup."
Warthog laughs and pulls Cara back upright. "You are a handful, aren't you?"
Cara scrunches her nose and wiggles to get out of Warthog's arms. "Daddy!" she screams.
Wolffe sighs. "Can you–"
"On it," Comet says and he walks over to the struggling pair. "Ad'ika, what happened?"
"Auggie is mean," she whines while pushing away from him.
"Auggie," Comet says with an accusatory tone. "How could you? She's just a kid."
"I didn't do anything!" Warthog exclaims, mildly hurt by the accusation. He grunts. "Here. You take her. I'm going to go pack their things in the speeder."
Comet shrugs. "Suit yourself." He takes Cara from Warthog and she settles down in his arms.
"I'm hungry," she whines again.
Comet sighs and walks them both into the kitchen, quickly finding the bag of pancakes sitting on the kitchen counter where Wolffe left them. He opens the bag with one hand and pulls out a colorful, yet oddly shaped pancake and gives it to Cara. She grabs it from him and starts nibbling on it. Warthog's arrival doesn't bode well just for Wolffe. It puts them all on edge. They all know the transition is going to be tough for Cara, but there are worse things on the horizon.
Cara easily downs the first pancake and Comet gives her another one. She takes a few bites, then gives it back to Comet with the explanation that she's full. He thinks about putting it back in the bag with the others for later, but then he feels his stomach growl and realizes that the little cereal bar was not enough. So, he pops the nibbled pancake into his mouth and eats it himself.
"Hey," Cara says. "That was mine."
Comet raises an eyebrow. "You said you were full."
"But it was mine!" she exclaims. "Daddy!"
Wolffe, with Cara's cup in hand, hears his daughter yell for him once again and decides it's time to take his child back from his overworked men. "Alright," he begins. "Auggie I can understand, but Comet? Now you're just being fussy."
Cara makes a whining noise and Wolffe trades Comet the cup for Cara, then takes the cup and gives it to Cara who drinks it down eagerly.
"See?" Wolffe says while running his hand through her hair. "You were just thirsty. And you probably need a nap, huh?"
Cara yawns and leans her head against Wolffe's shoulder.
"Is everyone ready to go?" Warthog asks as he steps back into the apartment.
The answer gets stuck in Wolffe's throat and he rubs Cara's back nervously.
"It's okay, daddy," she says and nuzzles her face into his neck.
Wolffe takes a deep breath. "Yeah, we're ready."
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Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10
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b0rderbunny · 4 months
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♡ SLEEPY ♡
Giyuu tomioka x gender neutral reader
Happy New years everyone! I hope you all had a amazing 2023 and only wish you the best 2024 except for skz antis, y'all go fuck yourselves.
By the way I am like posting this at 6:12 am and I haven't slept so I will edit this in the morning.
❤️
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A lot of your friends criticize you for marrying a demon slayer, a hashira at that.
"Oh ____, you know how those men are. They're just looking for a fun time nothing long term!"
They would say.
"He could die at any moment, and he's always out no?"
They would always criticize you too.
"Imagine being with a suicidal maniac?"
They would whisper.
He took them especially hard.
He always wanted your family and friends to accept him. Especially after he had lost his own, he practically prayed for your family's approval the week before dinner was set up to meet them.
"Giyuu?" You walked into the room letting out a laugh as you saw him kneeling on the floor in a praying motion. "What are you doing?" you asked, leaning against the door frame observing him with an amused glint in your eyes.
"Praying that your father accepts me" he replied not even batting an eye.
You let out a small laugh as you rolled your eyes again before approaching him.
As you stood beside him you bent down and picked up his praying hands.
"Baby you don't have to worry about anything, if I love you that's all that matters" you said bringing your empty hand to his cheek holding his hands with your others.
"But what if your family doesn't like me?" he asked, his beautiful blue eyes staring up with an emotion you couldn't decipher along with fear.
Your eyes softened at the scared look in his soft eyes, God you could melt into them.
"Them fuck them, because one thing that I do know of that I love you"
You brought his pale hands up to your lips before pressing a kiss to them as a soft blush spread to his pale cheeks.
"And that's never going to change," you said with a laugh. "You believe me right? you believe that I love you with all my heart, right?" You asked with a smile as he looked down, his blush deepening.
"Yeah" he mumbled shyly.
"Besides I'm sure it's going to go amazingly"
Spoilers, it didn't.
Immediately your asshole of a father began criticizing everything about him.
From his looks to his personality.
And to be frank, you couldn't take his shit anymore.
You two started arguing about his words and treatment as he continued to insult Giyuu even after your continued warnings.
And so you snapped.
A whole argument ensued and by the time you and your love left, Giyuu felt terrible.
He apologized over and over again.
He felt guilty.
He felt as if he had ruined your relationship with your father.
He apologized saying how sorry he was that he ruined it.
Your heart broke at the sight of him looking down at the floor apologizing the morning after.
Even after you reassured him countless times that this wasn't his fault he didn't stop with the apologies.
Until nightfall as you held him in your arms after your shower running your fingers through his long black wet hair.
You held his head to your chest as he kept his ear against your collar, against your beating heart.
It's something you learned after you got with him that he couldn't fall asleep until he knew you were safe.
Keeping his ear against your living heart reassured him that you were alive.
You were there.
"I love you Giyuu," you said as you played with the short hairs at the back of his neck.
"More than anyone and anything on this earth. In this world" you said as you heard his breath hitch a bit.
"Don't ever tell yourself that you did something wrong" you said as you looked down at him. "Because I love you and I'm always going to" you said pressing a kiss to his forehead.
"Whether my family likes you or not." You said as small tears involuntary welled up in his eyes.
"Don't ever doubt yourself baby, because you are so beautiful and strong and handsome and perfect, smart, and I could go on forever about how much I love your blue eyes or the way that when you spend too much time outside in the sun your freckles show up. Or how when someone compliments you your ears turn red" you said caressing his already reddened ears.
"Or how your heart swells with pride when you accomplish something, I could talk about how much I love everything about you but we would be here for centuries" you said as he let out a small smile.
"The point is that no matter what anyone says I love you, and no one; not even my own father can change that" you said.
"I love you ____ ______" he said, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand.
"I love you too Giyuu tomioka" you replied, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
I am a sucker for soft boy Giyuu like I feel like he would be the biggest cuddler and he would always want to be small spoon just to always feel you around him. And I love the HC where he gets freckles every once in awhile and how that hashiras sometimes make fun of him for that 😭
Honestly I feel like my biggest flex is that I am a amazing big spoon 😍
He's so beautiful and I feel like someone always needs to remind him that he's loved.
He's so precious and he deserves all the love in the world ❤️
Anyways happy New years everyone and I hope you all have a great 2024🎉
Not me entering the new year single, depressed, and with a stray kids obsession 🤭
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likeadevils · 1 year
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Speak Now Timeline
This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Speak Now in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also added a few other songs she wrote while writing Speak Now and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.
If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.
Due to a surprising amount of digital decay and her life not being highly documented yet, exact dates are bit harder to come by then they are with following albums, but you can still find a few! I’ve added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date: 
Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date
Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but everything points to that date
Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.
Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices)
More notes: I will probably be editing it as information about vault songs and new details about old songs get come out, so it probably won’t be finished until July, so check back in with this post and/or follow me if you want updates. Most tweet dates come from crawling through the wayback machine, but if you want further sourcing, feel free me an ask/dm.
Without further ado...
Sparks Fly: Late 2006 (Inferring)
Taylor opened up for Jake Owen on October 31, 2006 In Portland, Oregon (the secret message for the song), and wrote Sparks Fly about the experience shortly after. I’ve seen a few second hand sources say she wrote it on the airplane ride back to Nashville later that same night, but I can’t find Taylor herself saying that, so it might just be an old fandom legend, or the source has been lost to digital decay, or I just haven’t looked hard enough. She first performs the song in May 29, 2007.
Haunted: 2009 (Unknown)
Taylor: "Haunted" is about the moment that you realize the person you're in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don't know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it's fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you're realizing that he's kind of falling out of love. That's a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through, because the whole time you're trying to tell yourself it's not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night and writing this song about it.
February 17, 2009: Tweets "It's 3:58 am in London.. And I accidentally fell asleep at 6:30 pm, so now I'm wide awake and have no idea what to do. Write a song?"
It’s possible that this was what Taylor was referring to when she said she “ended up waking up in the middle of the night and writing [Haunted]”, but it’s also very possible that Taylor didn’t write a song on February 17, and waking up in the middle of the night and writing a song is not a rare occurrence in Taylor’s life, so one tweet doesn’t really prove anything.
March 13, 2009: Tweets "A day off in Sydney. Drove two hours out of the city and spent the day on the beach. Wrote a chorus you'll hear on the next record. :)"
Pure speculation, but I think she was working on Mr. Perfectly Fine. It was created in 2009, and in my opinion, of the possible songs it has the most notable chorus.
March 19, 2009: Posts on Myspace “I’m wiped out. I’ve been in the studio all day ( I know, I know.. We JUST put out a new album. I think I have a problem, I cannot stop writing songs.) It’s so much fun knowing that you can take your time, because you have like a year and a half to make something you’re really proud of. I love recording a few songs, waiting a few months, recording a few more.. Instead of devoting a few weeks to “record the album” and then it’s just done. I like dragging it out, that way you can be meticulous about every detail. Daydream about different ways to put the songs together, and then take them apart. I’m pretty obsessed with the whole process. So needless to say, it was good to be back in the studio with my redheaded producer who I missed terribly.”
If This Was A Movie: April 2009 (Inferring)
Taylor has literally never talked about this song, but April would be six months after and Joe Jonas broke up in late September/early October 2008.
April 24, 2009: Taylor plays in Jonesboro, Arkansas, and possibly writes a song: "I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York [likely Enchanted], that would happen again in Boston [likely Long Live], that would happen again in Nashville." (x)
May 23, 2009: Taylor records Half Of My Heart with John Mayer
On March 1, 2009: John Mayer tweeted: “Waking up to this song idea that won’t leave my head. 3 days straight now. That means it’s good enough to finish. It’s called Half of My Heart and I want to sing it with Taylor Swift. She would make a killer Stevie Nicks in contrast to my Tom Petty of a song.” On May 23, John Mayer tweeted "I couldn't get Taylor Swift on my record so I found the world's greatest impersonator, Laura Jacksheimer" with a picture of Taylor.
Superman: Spring 2009 (Speculation)
This could have been written any time in 2009, but due to it's general sound and the following quote, I’d guess it was written sometime in spring, when her and John Mayer first started working together. Taylor: “This was a guy that I was sort of enamored with, as usual. This song got its title by something that I just kinda said randomly in conversation. He walked out of the room, I looked over at one of my friends and said, ‘Man, It’s just like watching Superman fly away.’”
May 29, 2009: Posts on Myspace “Tomorrow, after the performance on the Today show, I’ll fly back to Nashville and record a lot of new songs I’ve written in the last few weeks. I’m really excited about that.” (She also posts "Tonight I went shopping at Top Shop in New York with the band. I got purple shoes. I’m really excited about the purple shoes, and I just needed to tell someone. I got purple shoes. Ok. That’s done." Which. If I had a nickel for everytime Taylor teased her new album by posting about shoe colors I'd have two nickels, which isnt a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.)
June 4, 2009: Posts on Facebook "In the studio. I don't know whose computer I'm using. Pssh.. Such a rebel right now.."
June 9, 2009: Tweets (about recording Thug Story) "If I said I was in the studio with T-Pain, would you believe me?"
Better Than Revenge and Let’s Go (Battle): June 2009 (Inferring)
These were probably written sometime between June 12, when the Jonas Brothers released “Much Better”, and July 1, when Taylor posted on Myspace: “What else is new.. Recording a bunch of new songs. Lots of new things to write about…..”
Last Kiss: 2009 (Unknown)
Taylor: "The song "Last Kiss" is sort of like a letter to somebody. You say all of these desperate, hopeless feelings that you have after a breakup. Going through a breakup you feel all of these different things. You feel anger, and you feel confusion, and frustration. Then there is the absolute sadness. The sadness of losing this person, losing all the memories, and the hopes you had for the future. There are times when you have this moment of truth where you just admit to yourself that you miss all these things. When I was in one of those moments I wrote this song."
July 22, 2009: Tweets "Hanging with my producer Nathan, discussing the next adventure" and then in a separate tweet "...album #3."
Never Grow Up: Fall 2009 (Speculation)
Lover Diary Nathan Chapman: "The song 'Never Grow Up' is just she singing and I on acoustic guitar. We recorded ourselves live. That song probably happened in two hours." This could’ve been written at any time in 2009, but I put it here because she bought her Nashville apartment sometime before October.
September 8, 2009: Tweeted "Last night in nash before heading out tomorrow for 4 shows, then VMA's. But right now I can't put the guitar down."
September 13, 2009: VMAs Incident
Enchanted: September 15, 2009 (Confirmed)
On September 15, Taylor attended an Owl City Concert in New York Taylor: "It was about this guy that I met in New York City, and I had talked to him on email or something before, but I had never met him. And meeting him, it was this overwhelming feeling of: I really hope that you're not in love with somebody. And the whole entire way home, I remember the glittery New York City buildings passing by, and then just sitting there thinking, am I ever going to talk to this person again? And that pining away for a romance that may never even happen, but all you have is this hope that it could, and the fear that it never will. I started writing that in the hotel room when I got back. Because it just was this positive, wistful feeling of: I hope you understand just how much I loved meeting you. I hope that you know that meeting you was not something that I took lightly, or just in passing. And I think my favorite part of that song is the part where, in the bridge, it goes to sort of a stream of consciousness of ‘Please don't be in love with someone else/Please don't have somebody waiting on you.' Because at that moment, that's exactly what my thoughts were. And it feels good to write exactly what your thoughts were in a certain moment.”
September 26, 2009: Taylor plays in Little Rock, Arkansas, and possibly writes a song: "I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York [Enchanted & Back To December], that would happen again in Boston [Long Live], that would happen again in Nashville." (x)
October 17, 2009: Tweets "Travis: you look so out of it. Me: I'm writing a song in my head. Travis: oh, I apologize. I didn't realize you were working."
November 30, 2009: Tweets "If I had a dime for every time my producer and I blurt out the same thing at the same time, followed by an awkward, uncoordinated high five..."
Ours: December 6, 2009 (Inferring)
Myspace Post on December 6: “I just got back to Nashville this morning after being in LA all week. Today I was out and about and in the studio all day” Taylor: "I wrote this when I was about to turn 20. I was in a relationship I knew people wouldn't approve of, and it was just a matter of time before everyone found out. When you're first getting to know someone, it's a fragile time, and then you add newspapers and magazine covers and it can get kind of rough. I wanted to have this song to play for him when it got difficult. Singing it for him was one of the sweetest moments I can remember."
December 22, 2009: Tweets "I was writing a song and my pen fell into the piano. Still trying to figure out if I should do anything about this."
January 2010: Starts polishing up the demos made in 2009 into fully produced tracks
Billboard: "Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce." Nathan Chapman: "We stripped it down and made the demos first. Taylor came to my studio and I played all the instruments on the demos, and because I have a good vocal booth, her demo vocals ended up being the vocals you hear on the record. After finishing the demos, we went out to different studios, and tried different combinations of engineers and musicians to replace some of the elements of my demos, mostly the programmed drums, and to do additional overdubs. [...] A pop artist would probably release what we'd done after five hours, but country artists don't want to hear programmed drums, they don't want to hear fake stuff. So once we had recorded the demos, we would book whatever studio we wanted for each song, to replace the drums, in many cases the bass, and to add whatever overdubs we envisioned, like fiddle, keyboards, percussion and strings. After we got the demos right, we opened it up and allowed ourselves to spend money and cut a big record." Taylor tweets on January 11: "Studio-ness with all the same boys who played on Fearless" and on January 13: "More recording. So excited. So excited. So excited. See, I said that three times. Once for every album we've made in this studio."
January 13, 2010: Posts on Myspace “Thank you January. I have had this month off. I have walked on snow-covered grass and discovered new coffee shops and laughed hysterically with friends about things that probably weren’t technically funny. I’ve written songs on napkins and sat at a giant table with my whole family on my mother’s birthday, all of us in one place for the first time in too long. I’ve gotten to take what has happened to me and process it to my full capability, and celebrate it the way it deserved to be celebrated. I’ve made new music. I’ve gone over the memories and jumped up and down with my producer and floated around with nothing on my schedule other than just appreciating what my life has somehow turned into. [...] Getting back in the studio with the same guys I trust and know and love.. (right, the pointing one: my producer Nathan Chapman) (Left, the waving one: Bass extraorinaire, Tim Marks. Clearly marked on his road case.) [...] Nick Buddha is in charge of the drums.”
February 22, 2010: Posts on Myspace "I’ve been writing lots of songs"
February 13, 2010: Writes in her diary "I’ve been obsessing over the new album. I always do that until it’s just right. I don’t know if I have the formula just right for this one yet. I know there are great songs. I just need to figure out the strands that bond them together into a great album. And I will obsess until it’s there. This album, any album, is the next 2 years of my life. It has to be more than amazing. It has to be great enough to keep my attention for 2 years."
Mine: March 10-12 2010 (Inferring)
Taylor (above interview, at 5:17): "I wrote Mine somewhere on the road, I think in Texas, actually." Nathan Chapman: "The demo for 'Mine' apparently took less than five hours to record, and sounded, according to Chapman, "almost identical to the record. After that we worked on the track for another four months, off and on, and spent $30,000 to make sure it sounded perfect in the real world."" Taylor: "This song is the first single because it has this…there was this moment between Nathan and I, my producer, when I brought this song in and when we made this demo in one day in his basement and we just kinda looked at each other and we were like, "This is it. This is the one. All of the times that I've had "The Moment" with songs of "This is the one," it's been a good call, so I'm hoping for the best on this one. Wish me luck." Scott Borchetta: "Mine" was a turning point in the album’s development. Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce. Swift presented "Mine" to Borchetta in his office [...] "We probably played that song four or five times," Borchetta recalls. "I’m jumping around playing air guitar, she’s singing the song back to me, and it was just one of those crazy, fun, Taylor teen-age moments."
March 13, 2010: Taylor records Mine, brings it to Scott Borchetta, and says she’s done with TS3
Scott Borchetta: "I said, ‘Keep going,’ [...] She kind of looked at me like, ‘You’re challenging me.’ And I said, ‘Yeah. You’ve found true north here. Keep going.’ " Taylor: “During Speak Now, when I went to (label head) Scott Borchetta and said, 'The album’s finished,’ he said, 'No, it’s not – you need to keep writing.’” (Right after playing in Texas, Taylor leaves for a vacation in the Bahamas, meaning Taylor likely had about a day in Nashville between the two trips).
Innocent: Late March 2010 (Inferring)
Billboard: “It was some time in the period after that challenge — between February and June — that Swift wrote “Innocent,” her response to the Kanye West incident.​​” Taylor: “Some songs take 30 minutes to write, and some take six months, which was the case with “Innocent.” When things affect me intensely and really hit me hard, it can take a while to figure out what I think about it and what to say about it.” (March would be just over 6 months since the VMAs).
March 24, 2010: Taylor goes lunch with Taylor Lautner and both of their publicists, inspiring Back To December.
Taylor: Swift says she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she says. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."
Speak Now: Early April, 2010 (Inferring)
On April 3, Taylor attended the wedding of Josh Farro as Hayley Williams (who is Josh's ex) plus one. That day she also tweeted: ""Nathan you smell really good! Is that a new cologne?" "Thanks! Actually it's a two in one shampoo and soap. From Dial." My producer rules." implying she was in the studio. The conversation below could have happened any day after the VMA awards in September, when Hayley first reached out to Taylor, but I think Taylor probably wrote the song fairly close to naming the album after it. Taylor: "This song was inspired by one of my friends who was telling me about her childhood sweetheart, crush guy. They were kind of together in high school and went their separate ways, and it was kind of understood that they were gonna get back together. Then, she one day comes in and tells me he's getting married. He had met this girl who was just this mean person who made him completely stop talking to all of his friends, cut off his family, had him like so completely isolated. And I just, kind of randomly, was like, "So, you gonna speak now?" She was like, "What do you mean?" And I was like "Oh, you know, like storm the church, speak now or forever hold your peace? I'll go with you. I'll play guitar. It would be great." She was just kind of laughing, and later on I just was wrapping my mind around that idea of how tragic it would be if someone you loved was marrying somebody else. Later I had a dream about one of my ex-boyfriends getting married, and it just all came together that I needed to write this song about interrupting a wedding. For me, I like to think of it as good versus evil, and this girl is so completely painted as the evil one. So this is "Speak Now.""
April 13, 2010: Names TS3 Speak Now
Lover Diaries: "So I’ve been obsessing over the new record to the point where it’s all I can focus on. I’m majorly stressed and borderline losing it, with all these lists and chronic dissatisfaction. Perfectionist-ness. I keep growing tired of songs because I know I’ve raised the bar and I can beat half the songs. Scott and I had lunch the other day. We were talking about the record and I had this epiphany. I didn’t talk in interviews about how I felt about much of what has happened in the last 2 years. I’ve been silent about so much that I’m saying on this album. It’s time to Speak Now. Scott freaked out. He loved it. We have a title, ladies and gentlemen!" Scott Borchetta: ""At one point, the record was not called ‘Speak Now.’ It was called ‘Enchanted,’ [...] We were at lunch, and she had played me a bunch of the new songs. I looked at her and I’m like, ‘Taylor, this record isn’t about fairy tales and high school anymore. That’s not where you’re at. I don’t think the record should be called "Enchanted."’” Swift excused herself from the table at that point. By the time she came back, she had the "Speak Now" title"
Dear John: Spring 2010 (Speculation)
This was likely written sometime after February 2010 (Taylor implies she's single in her vlog and her diary). Beyond that, it could have been anytime between February and June 2010.
Brief Interruption: The next two songs (Back to December and Mean) are going to use quotes from this interview that @1989worldtour found. If you've already listened to the interview attached to the Mine section, then it's the same interview
Back To December: Early May, 2010 (Inferring)
Taylor (above interview, at 5:12): "Back to December was written in New York City. Taylor was in New York city from May 3-5, and May 12-15 2010. she was not photographed in New York any other time in early 2010, and given her busy touring schedule, I doubt she was in New York at another time. USA TODAY: “Swift says she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she says. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."”
Mean: May 29, 2010 (Speculation)
Taylor (above interview, about 6 minutes in): "I started this song called Mean on my, like sitting on my kitchen counter, just playing it, and then, you know, took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night and finished it in the dressing room." Now, this may be a too literal interpretation of "took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night," but if we want to theorize: the only tour date (that Taylor could've conceivably written Mean during) without another show right before or after it was in Baton Rogue on May 29, 2010.
Long Live: June 2010 (Confirmed)
Lover Diary She likely wrote this around June 5, when she ended the Fearless Tour at Gillette Stadium (Wikipedia counts two festivals as being part of the Fearless Tour but Taylor doesn't, so I'm going with her opinion), since she said that she wrote a song for Speak Now in Boston (which is the closest major city to Gillette)
The Story Of Us: June 9-16, 2010 (Confirmed)
Taylor attended the CMT Awards (Which goes on to be the secret message for The Story Of Us) on June 9 and was sat very close to John Mayer. Taylor: "The people closest to me are used to me deserting a conversation and bolting into some corner of the room with my phone out, hunched over, singing some melody or lyric or hook into my phone. I wrote “The Story of Us” about running into an ex at an awards show, and I came home and sat down at a kitchen table and told my mom, “I felt like I was standing alone in a crowded room.” She tried to console me, but I was gone at that point." Lover Diary: "So I’ve been a little studio rat since the tour ended [...] Ever since, I wake up to my cell phone alarm around 9:30 each morning. Throw on a sundress, skip make up, tie my hair in a messy side braid, and head out the door with no shoes on. Because the only walking outside I’ll be doing is from my house to my car, then from my car, three steps to Nathan’s basement studio. [...] I worked on a song for a few days, then basically finished it in the car on the way to Nathan’s this morning. It. Is. So. Good. And I can safely say I am DONE writing this record!! This song is up-tempo, and hooky and sort of torn-sounding … like this horrible stressed confusion that comes on when you knew the person you’re pining away for is in the room. And for some reason, there are these invisible walls keeping things from being ok. So you’re not fine. And they’re not fine. And I’m so happy I wrote that song!! Footage of Taylor working on TSOU
June 30, 2010: Taylor tweets “@amosjheller is SLAYING a bass part in the studio right now. http://twitpic.com/21am7t” 
Footage Nathan Chapman: “We tried several bassists until we had a bass part that worked, which was played by Amos Heller, of Taylor's live band. In Nashville, it's rare for a road musician to be on the record, but he earned his way into this record by kicking ass. In fact, all Taylor's road musicians played some parts on the album, which was important for me and her.”
July 15, 2010: The orchestra for Back To December and Haunted are recorded (footage here, same outfit as these candids)
Taylor (talking about Haunted): “I wanted the music and the orchestration to reflect the intensity of the emotion the song is about, so we recorded strings with Paul Buckmaster at Capitol Studios in Los Angeles. It was an amazing experience - recording this entire big, live string section that I think in the end really captured the intense, chaotic feeling of confusion I was looking for."
And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:
TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag
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thottybrucewayne · 4 months
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A LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO HELL: 2024 EDITION
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Every zionist, duh, but esp yall who screenshot perfectly reasonable posts and go "Um, the look at this idiot who thinks genocide is wrong" yall make my ass itch and nobody takes you seriously, MOVE. 2. The entire U.S. government but esp Joe Biden that old ass man gettin spit roasted in hell (AND NOT THE FUN KIND!) 3. DIDDY AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT PROTECTED AND DEFENDED HIM. 4. Tory Lanez whole family, his mama, his daddy, his dog? All them. 5. The nonblack people who run those Rap House Tv type blogs that are clearly trying to be shade room clones. 6. People who get all their news from the Shade Room and Whatsapp, sorry auntie, I'm sick of you tellin' me COVID can be cured by sticking cloves of garlic up my nose :/ 7. Every single one of you dirtbag leftist ass people, yall do nothing for nobody except you thousands of adoring "former nazi" fans that need to be told it's okay that they still say the n word in private. 8. N.O.R.E and every single hiphop "journalist" 9. Charlemagne Tha God and Dj Envy, they know why. 10. Everyone who made Ike and Tina jokes after Tina past away. Grow up. 11. You fanfic girlies. So many of y'all are seeing the lake of fire, But esp if you donate to ao3 or own ao3 merch. Like, that is just embarrassing. 12. It's 2024, If I see you coming up here saying shit like "Miku wroke harry potter!" or " Hello Kitty wrote Ofmed, actually" I'm sending you to hell myself. 13. Booktokers? This is yall the second year on this list, tighten the fuck up and stop being weird about strange men on the internet, now. 14. People who do LITERALLY NOTHING yet try to tell other people how to be activists. You contribute nothing to any conversation you're a part of, suck my dick from the back. 15. People who stopped masking because other people were making them feel bad. Fuck your mama not being able to see your smile, PEOPLE ARE DYING???? 16. Lana Del Ray and Taylor Swift. They know exactly what they did. 17. Every white girl on twt who tried to jump me cause I said the Barbie movie is white feminism at its finest. 18. Elon, you raggedy bitch. 19. Every single man who hit on me this year who isn't one of my friends. 20. People who don't know what transmisogyny means and make that everyone else's problem. I need yall to start reading so bad it's not even funny. 21. You "goth is a feeling" people. You gonna be "feeling" that hell fire nippin' at your ass, NEXT 22. You 35 defending fanservice of high schoolers in anime/manga all day every day...yeah, just get on down there, big fella. They waiting on you. 23. Cishet Black men on tiktok and twt who make it their life's mission to make an ass of themselves for minor ducats. You are a one-man modern-day minstrel show and you will be dealt with. 24. White Tyler The Creator fans. Y'all know what you do.
Dishonorable mentions: Shojo fans who never talk about the fucked up shit in the manga they recc you because "At least its not as misogynistic as shounen!" (yes, yes it is) Fashion tiktokkers I hate so many of you its not even funny Every person who put the image of T.D. Jakes getting his doonies beat down at a Diddy party in my mind. Like I literally never needed to think about that. My dad <3 and all my friends' dads. Patricide NOW!!!!! People who are still whining about having to boycott shut upppppp god damn. People who stare at me in public. You got a fuckin problem?????
That's a wrap! Here are the lists from last year and the year before feel free to add more in the tags <3
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accio-victuuri · 5 months
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(13) Fake Rumors - from the vault
I have been going through some old rumors from the fake house & decided to share some. whether these may be new to you or not, but i hope you still enjoy them as much as I did looking back. I feel like in the fandom, we’ve only ever been active when it comes to lrlg and the 49 fakes. the rest of the information that fall in between aren’t as talked about or depends on the topic. as with all other bjyx material, i want a place to store some parts of it. 🤍
these are sort of random, the ones that I had saved and found again. treat it all as fiction.
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( someone please make an AU fic or edit for this xz and wyb. there is a story here. look at them. 😍😍😍 )
i have traveled a long way, you have dreamed a long time. many lonely nights drift like fallen leaves but it always finds a way….🍃🍂
(1) this one was posted for the new year 🎉
XZ: Get me a courier later
🧔‍♂️:Okay
====
🧔‍♂️:What is it? It’s so light
XZ: made-up parts, Legos.
*XZ talking to a staff so he can send out some lego parts. I think it’s light because what he is sending are “parts” that WYB is missing and he found them for him. I truly like the idea of XZ spoiling WYB when it comes to his hobbies and him being invested in it too even if he isn’t necessarily a fan too. true love! and well, reminded me of the rumored lego set gift during the early days of cql filming.
(2) have you eaten?
About the backstage live broadcast of a recent event on the same stage
WYB:Have you eaten yet?
XZ: *shakes head*
WYB: Come have dinner with me later
XZ: Who else? (Looking over it, I don’t know what I’m looking for)
WYB: Stop looking for it. I’ll send it to you next time.
Supplement: Teacher W watched Teacher X take off his makeup before leaving together.
*The usual WYB making sure that XZ eats and him waiting for his gege so they can eat with each other. Even after the CQL filming, as long as they are at the same event they will try and be together. Tho instances of that have been so rare to 0 nowadays because of the amount of eyes on them.
(3) the forbidden book lol
The crew's study period
WYB: Where is the erotic book? I want to read it.
XZ: Suddenly got up and left.
*This is one of my faves even if it’s so short! Library Pavilion behind the scenes & rumors is the gift that keeps on giving. I wouldn’t put it pass WYB to troll ZZ with this.
Here’s a GIF for you to bring you back to that time🤍
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(4) call me maybe? 📱
There was a period last year where everyone had to learn rap, usually🐂 learned the fastest but he was absent-minded that time🐂 was looking at us eating delicious food while resting, it seems that he is thinking his rap, he seemed to be even more tired. At this time, staff handed over the phone and he left immediately to pick it up.
He called him, and when he came back he didn't have any special expression, but he felt refreshed. 
(5) praising
WYB: I really like to be praised by everyone and feel "wow" from everyone, so every time Da Zhen's family praises me crazily, I will secretly write it down and send it to him.
XZ: I am also a part-time praise captain. Every time I praise,None of them are the same.He can often keep up with the facts.
WYB: I don’t understand a lot of Internet slang.
XZ: I always hurt him by saying, "No, you don't even know this joke, so WYB doesn't go online?" Just. very good. Laughing, every time I feel hurt, I secretly say "He is better than me. I'm young, I know everything." What kind of tone is this? One time during a video, XZ sang "Darling, come and save me." Seeing WYB's ears slowly become red and coughed. Who can tell me what’s going on with these lyrics?
(6) baking shenanigans
The puff pastry made by XZ is very delicious, WYB will also work with XZ to help when he has time. He’s busy getting started, and they will also do some weird things. If there is a strange taste, try it with the people around you.
Once WYB squeezed minced garlic into the pastry and mixed chili powder, but forgot to mark it, XZ ate it, pinched the back of the neck and squeezed the flesh of the face "Teacher Trained WYB”
*IM CACKLING AT THIS OMG WYB 😂😂😂 what flavor of pastry is that????
(7) another one about eating
Aling period
WYB: Why are you back?
XZ: Come back for dinner, there will be a show in the afternoon
WYB: Aren’t you going to eat with your friends?
XZ: I didn’t agree when someone wanted to invite me, it was too stupid.
WYB: xls It’s so difficult to eat normally today
XZ: You haven’t eaten it, have you?
WYB: Nope. I just thought you were back.
(8) checking the weather
XZ: “The weather doesn’t look like it’s going to rain...(Look 📱)
👤: "It should be sunny..."
XZ: “I just saw📱the weather forecast showed it’s going to rain soon.
👤: How is that possible? It’s obviously sunny. "(春📱)
XZ: "Huh?" (👤♥Two people facing each other📱)
XZ: Overcast to light rain to moderate rain.
👤: What you are looking at is the weather
XZ: Oh my God, so embarrassing...
XZ forgot to switch cities. no one will know the city WYB was in that day if I don’t tell you.
*This one hits different cause for this rumor, they are in different cities but in the same country. Lately, there are times that they are in diff countries so do they look at the weather their too? 🥹🥹🥹
I can’t relate to their obsession with the weather, but if that gives them a sense of connection to each other then it’s fine.
(9) raining
💚Supplement: It’s when the temperature gradually rises. At that time, it rained in June.
💚Holding an umbrella💚❤️talking all the way
❤️Start standing on the right side of 💚
💚Hold the umbrella and tilt it in the direction of ❤️
❤️Thick clothes💚Left half of light-colored thin clothes
The edges are wet and very transparent.
❤️Just keep pushing the umbrella in the direction of 💚
I wanted to block 💚 a little more, but found it was fine.
After seeing the effect, I found an opportunity to move it to the left side of 💚
Then 💚 the right half also got wet
Both centered and symmetrical….…..
(10) them and their parents.
Regarding their parents, I currently know the older one’s mom and dad can also surf the internet, and talk about about their CP and their impression of WYB is good. But his mother actually really wants to have a grandchild. His father is very indifferent when the older one comes home. I'm sure his mother won't be able to bear it. She asked him bluntly, the older ones always focus on work to fool her in the past. In July this year not only did he tell the truth to his family but took the younger one back with him.
It’s time for dinner at home, and the younger one is very nervous. He is afraid that the family will think he is not good enough. He bought a lot of things and piled them up for backup. He sprayed perfume and dressed properly and pretended. The older one made him want to laugh when he looks at him, just fool around. The younger one calls him a big bastard.
The mother on the table was holding jianguo and said she could only count on her to give birth to a litter of grandsons.
* I know that talk about their parents is sensitive and would always lead to more discussion, but again, treat this as fiction. and tbh, who could resist WYB as a son in law??? It I had a son and he brings home WYB as a boyfriend I will be very happy. I also feel soft that XZ is trying to tease and make WYB laugh.
(11)
What happened last year
WYB: Is it delicious?
XZ: (nodding while eating) Yeah, it’s quite delicious.
WYB: What about others?
XZ: Wait a minute...Wow, I just ate that, this one has no taste.
WYB: Is it too spicy?
XZ: It’s okay, but my tongue is numb and I can’t taste other flavors.
WYB: Wait a minute, drink some water. Is it really that spicy?
XZ: Try it yourself. You didn't keep it for yourself? Wasn't it sent from you?
WYB: I didn't take it apart. Bring it to me.
Then XZ really ate so much that he left two packets and took them back to WYB.
(You send it to me and I will bring it back to you. What kind of trick is this?)
What happened this year
XZ: It’s been too cold these two days.
👤: Southern kids.
XZ: :Then northerners also feel cold. Cold is cold.
(Okay, I know you have northerners in your family, next one)
👤When teasing XZ and WYB, XZ’s response was, “Hahaha” and send out red envelopes. As expected of Boss XZ.
I saw other people's submissions and came to do some post-sale service. I heard that XZ sang to put WYB to sleep. I know that there is indeed mmxhn, and there is a six-character song related to snow. (There are probably others somewhere that I don’t know about)
(12) like a fairy
XXX was wearing Iwj's white clothes for the first time
XX: Fairy, descended to earth to overcome the tribulation
XXX: Isn’t fairy a dog? You have so much information but no good words.
XX: Compliment you for being good-looking and handsome.wls, wow, so handsome!
XXX: xls looks better than me, our xls is so beautiful, ancestor of Yiling
XX: Stop, stop, it’s so shameful
*My favorite kind of rumor is when WYB goes gremlin on XZ! 😂😂😂😂
(13) cravings
WYB has been craving for "cai cai rice" recently, XZ told him many times that spring is not so good to have wild vegetables, even if they are cooked. WYB said he doesn’t care about wild vegetables he just wants to eat the vegetable rice cooked by XZ, but I don’t have that. It smells good, I just want to eat it.
In the end, he still didn’t get the cabbage meal, but freshly baked dumplings. WYB got a bargain and acted nice, he was acting coquettishly while eating.
* Oh to be WYB and have someone like XZ cook for youuuu 😍😍😍😍
-END.
P.S : this ye mi and xiao zhan AU pairing is living in my mind rent free. 🥵🥵🥵
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alovesreading · 5 months
Text
Constant Repeat | Part 18
Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.
Word Count: 41.3k
Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.
A/N: Well, clearly I need to stop deeming one or another chapter the longest of the series when I still haven't written the rest cos I'm actually equally horrified and surprised that this chapter is this long - especially since I had to chop down a third of it to push it towards a new chapter. Yep, that's right - you lot are getting two more chapters after this one and the epilogue lol Anyway, I cannot believe I'm posting this chapter finally!!! Pinch me moment, really, but I hope with all my heart that you love it. Also sorry but I just literally finished writing this so it's not fully proofread so I'm very sorry if there's grammatical and spelling mistakes. Okay, I'll shut up now!! Enjoy!!! xxx
Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 |
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Four days had passed since that stupid article had come out and Ella seemed to be working on automatic. She was trying her best to appear completely normal and unbothered while every word she’d read that day echoed inside her mind in an agonizing loop.
The giddy Ella that Ben had been teasing all day that Thursday was long gone by the end of the day. He had been completely ignored when he asked her what was wrong while everyone was saying goodbye and walking out the door to go home.
And the following four days were just the same: a blank expression on her face that only was exchanged from time to time for a forced smile she pulled whenever someone asked her if she was alright.
Ben had tried to joke with her on Friday, teasing her about being so down bad for Alex that she was missing him too much to function. But it had gone poorly. Ella had frozen in her place and stood up abruptly after a few beats of silence, grabbing her pack of cigarettes and lighter to take with her outside and her voice broke as she mumbled that she needed to go for a smoke. That was when Ben started to actually worry.
Even her coworkers had realized it was something far deeper than they’d been thinking when Monday had come around and she looked the same as the end of Thursday and Friday. At first, they thought she was just shutting down after coming back from her hometown, but she never let it drag on this much when that would happen. Usually she’d speak to her family on the phone on the weekend and that’d be enough for her to be cured of the homesickness, but this time it was apparent that it just wasn’t the case.
They tried to cheer her up during lunch break, tempting her with an offer to take her to her favorite Los Feliz restaurant, but she shook her head to decline their advances. With an absent look on her face, she told them she’d brought her own food that day. No witty remark to hold them up to that offer in the future, just falling silently into eating—more like moving around—the lunch she’d packed herself the night before.
Even if she was behaving that way, she was fully invested in her work and whilst everyone appreciated the fact that work wasn’t being halted, it just wasn’t something anyone in the office enjoyed seeing.
So Ben and Aaron begged her to go home earlier that day, knowing she’d be willing to stay way past usual hours just to drown in the work that had accumulated slightly while she was in Tennessee. She had already caught up with a lot on Thursday and Friday, and the last thing anyone wanted was for her to burnout due to her seeking an escape from whatever was going on by working non-stop.
Ella’s eyes were red from how long she’d been staring at her computer, editing pictures without a break once she came back into her office after finishing lunch—which had been a mere few bites of her pasta before threw it away. She still had two weeks to give back the finished product but she was determined to just do everything and anything she could to distract herself from her thoughts.
Staying at the office later than usual on Thursday and Friday had helped, and the weekend she’d spent alone at home had been beyond miserable, she needed the distraction that work gave her that Monday, and every day that would follow until her mind would stop racing and she could try to get over everything—force herself to forget about everything that had happened in Tennessee and forget about the hope that had bloomed inside her from it all, the one that made her heart break in a thousand more pieces the more time passed.
It was all a blur how Ben and Aaron managed to get her out of the office by six in the afternoon and when she got back home by seven, she was thankful for loud music and the lighter than usual LA traffic.
She’d spent the weekend deep cleaning every corner of her house, trying to be meticulous in every aspect so that her focus was completely on her tasks, so many movies had been playing in the background those two days. Crying over fictional people’s lives seemed to be just what she needed to fool herself about what she really wanted to cry over. When she had gone into her room to clean it though, it had gotten tough and Sunday had unfortunately ended with her sobbing as she clutched onto that Clockwork Orange shirt she’d never given him back.
So when Ella stepped foot into her spotless house, she started to panic over what she was meant to do so as to not drive herself insane for the rest of the day.
Breana solved that for her by calling her. She was currently on the way to Indianapolis with the lads and she’d been trying hard not to stress herself about Ella’s lack of answer to her texts throughout the entire day.
Unlike Alex, Breana hadn’t gotten the version of Ella who was acting like nothing had happened; she’d gotten a sad and absent Ella on the phone every time she called, and the texts would always come late and short. The model was actually surprised about how well Ella was playing it off to Alex, chipper on the phone to him and smiling hard, making sure to reply on time and joking with him through texts.
She was trying to fool everyone else into thinking everything was alright, and the only one who actually saw how broken and despaired she was, was Breana.
“Hey babe, I thought you were gonna text me during your lunch break.” Bre said softly when Ella picked up the facetime call.
Ella could see that she was hidden away in the back lounge of the bus so she felt relieved that she could let herself break down freely in front of her best friend.
“Sorry, completely forgot. Everyone was trying to ask me what was wrong and to cheer me up and I was focused on not crying in front of everyone.” All the tears she’d been holding back started to silently run down her cheeks, it made her feel so pathetic but she needed to cry after trying so hard not to all day.
Bre’s face fell at the sight and she wanted to be there with her and hold her all night, console her and tell her it’d be alright. After all, Alex still hadn’t mentioned seeing Alexa in New York so it felt like Ella was worrying about a phantom menace.
“It’s okay. Let it out, hun.” The model sighed when she watched Ella drop her head and start quietly sobbing, her shoulders shaking as she wept. “Why don’t you– Have you thought about asking him?” Bre asked wholeheartedly, thinking that Ella subtly asking him about it would lead to him honestly giving her the answers she needed.
But Ella was long gone in psyching herself into the worst situations, so there was no way in hell that she’d risk her own heart all over again by asking him about it. There was no way she could ask without exposing herself and she had no idea if she could ever come back from getting her heart broken by Alex again.
It was way different this time, nothing like what had happened in 2012 but exactly because of that is that Ella was terrified to risk losing him now that he meant so much more to her.
Just thinking about how much she loved him was enough for her to cry a little harder as she shook her head before lifting it up to look at Breana through the screen. “I have thought about it but I won’t do it. I can’t just ask him without making it obvious that I’m in love with him and then what? If he’s actually considering it with Alexa like everyone is raving about online then, what? I do my best to ignore the heartbreak so I don’t ruin the friendship?”
“Ella, he’s not said a thing about Alexa and we’ve all talked about New York multiple times these past few days.” Breana explained with a sigh, hoping her words would help settle Ella even if it was just slightly.
“Yeah, well. Maybe he’s hiding it. Maybe something happened and he hasn’t said anything ‘cause everything in Tennessee is too fresh and you’d all shit on him for it.” Ella was reeling by then and she knew it but everything that was being said online about the pair getting back together was making her come up with every and any theory that would back it up.
She was trying to get ahead of the big reveal and make herself numb to the future heartbreak, getting herself ready for the worst possible outcome. She was still trying to come to terms about the fact that this most likely meant losing him for good. There was no way she’d be strong enough to endure seeing them together while she was stuck longing for what could never be.
“You need to stop reading the bullshit people say.” Breana raised her brows at her with a stern look on her face, knowing Ella had gone on Twitter again and read what people were saying like she had on Sunday after finding Alex’s shirt in her wardrobe. “If you don’t ask him, I will. So you’ve got until the weekend to do it.” The model gave her the ultimatum and it was enough for Ella to scoff loudly and frown.
“You can’t do that.” Ella said breathlessly, the hurt clear in her voice.
Bre shrugged, “You’re driving yourself mad, Ellie. I can’t keep seeing you like this because of something that’s clearly not happening.” Her words didn’t matter because Ella was still looking at her like she’d just stabbed her in the back, “What happened with everything your parents said? Don’t you remember huh? They were right, in every single thing they said. And your mom is right too, you should tell him even if it’s through the phone.”
Ella shook her head, “Not happening anymore. Sorry Bre.”
Breana gave her a sad smile, “It’s not me you should be saying sorry to, Ella. The only one you’re hurting right now is yourself.”
Those words hit Ella like a punch in the gut, her breath hitched in her throat as she tried not to sob loudly and she let her gaze drop to her hands. She couldn’t handle much more anymore today so she shook her head and hastily let Breanna go, “I’m gonna make myself something to eat, shower and go to bed. I’ll text you in the morning.”
Breana’s sigh was full of anguish for her best friend but she knew it’d be worse to push, she’d only drive Ella into a worse state and she needed to relax. “Okay babe. Don’t forget to text me yeah? I’ll be waiting for your messages.”
Ella only hummed with a curt nod, her gaze wandering around her desolate kitchen for a second before facing Bre again and saying goodbye, “I promise I’ll text. Love you.”
“Love you.” Breana reciprocated and ended the call herself.
When she came out of the back lounge to where everyone was hanging out, they all picked on the sadness that had overcome her expression.
“Y’alright?” Jamie asked Bre as she sat down next to Matt, making the drummer turn to look at her fiance and when he caught the look on her face, he hugged her tightly and dropped a kiss on her cheek.
“Yeah, yeah. Just tired.” The model excused and the guitarist nodded. Everyone caught her up on their conversation then, slowly managing to get little giggles and soft smiles from her as the time went and they got closer to the state of Indiana.
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The following day, Ella woke up to the ringing of her phone. An incoming facetime call from none other than Alex. A call that made her frown and startle awake since it was half past six in the morning and all she could think about was that the early call meant an emergency.
But Alex’s chipper, “Hiya, darling.” proved nothing close to an emergency had happened.
“Hi, sweetness.” Ella replied breathlessly. Seeing him ready for the day with his hair yet to be gelled back with a bright smile on his face that not even the cigarette that he was smoking could hide, made her want to scream. “You’re very smiley today.” She teased him the best she could, trying to ignore the ache in her heart that got more prominent when the memory of the article and the stupid online chat weaved through into the forefront of her mind.
He hummed like he was aware. After all, his cheeks hurt from how hard he’d been smiling for the past hour. “I’ve got good news.”
“Oh?” Was all that Ella managed to say, her signal to get him to start talking.
But all Alex did was smirk and hum, “Mhm.”
She knew what he was doing, so she rolled her eyes as she let herself fall back onto bed and rest her head on the pillows, “You’re gonna make me ask, really?”
“I am.” Alex cheekily replied, his smirk only getting bigger at the prospect of having her guess what it was.
From the way he was smiling, Ella had a feeling it had to be about his imminent move to Los Angeles, so she grinned back shyly and softly asked as excitement started brewing in her chest, “Is it about the house?”
“Yes.” He answered with joy, but still steered her into guessing.
So she continued with her guesses, “Have you got it?”
He nodded eagerly before explaining further, “Signed an hour ago and my agent got the keys so yes, it’s all mine now.”
“Fuck off!” Ella gasped and sat back up on her bed, “So you’re moving here for the holidays?” Tour was meant to finish mid November in South America so that’d mean that he was gonna be moving to LA just in time for the holidays and that made her incredibly nervous to think about.
But Alex shook his head and clarified, “Moving in this weekend actually.”
The notion had Ella breathless and wide-eyed. “What?!” Ella stuttered when she managed to stop holding her breath in shock. He was moving in that very weekend and all she’d done the past week since she’d last seen him was sob over some stupid paparazzi pictures of him and his ex.
“Yeah, well, our last festival this month is tomorrow so I’d be flying over to LA on the 26th and moving in until we have to go back on tour on the 2nd.” Alex explained easily. He’d bought his ticket back to LA with the rest of the group only a few minutes before and the first person he had to tell was Ella.
“Wait, so you’re coming back in two days?” Ella was truly shocked at this all, she kept blinking as if wanting to properly wake herself up because it all just didn’t feel real.
Alex flashed her a toothy smile, “We all are. Bought our tickets about ten minutes ago.” Seeing her getting even more surprised by that information made him want to coo out loud, she was so cute. He wanted to kiss her face over and over and over again.
“Holy shit.” Ella muttered under her breath, getting up from bed and walking towards her dresser to actually start getting ready to go to work.
The singer chuckled at her but attentively watched her every move on the screen as he continued, “And I’m gonna have everyone over on Saturday for a housewarming party.”
Ella nodded, her throat becoming dry at the thought of only having four days to mentally prepare to see him in person again after the torment she’d kept to herself. She had no idea how she’d be able to hide it from him in person, it was already hard to hide it from him through texts and facetime. But in person? She could only hack acting okay for an hour maybe, there was no way she could play it off for a whole afternoon.
“Right. Let me know if you want me to take anything. Is it gonna be like Matt and Bre’s?” She asked just to be prepared for who she’d have to hide from. If it was just the lads and the girls then it’d be tricky but at least she’d have Breana to lean onto and she’d feel more comfortable.
Her heart stopped when Alex shook his head and said, “A bit bigger. Steve and Davey are flying in with us so Mia, Davey’s girlfriend, is gonna be there too. Miles is gonna come as well and some other friends we have in the city.” He took a pause to think about the list he’d written down inside his mind and he added, “Oh, Josh is coming too and I think Alexa is coming over too.”
At the mention of that name, Ella felt herself go cold and pale. She was so glad she’d decided to move off camera as she went to grab a pair of jeans just as he said that.
“Darling?” Alex asked with a frown when he didn’t hear a thing coming from her.
Ella took a few deep breaths as she tried not to burst out crying, the wound she’d been opening up more and more with her overthinking for the past week felt like it had started bleeding all over again and she was trying her best not to cry in pain.
Clearing her throat, she rose back up and appeared on the screen. She kept her head hanging low so he wouldn’t see her failed attempt of a smile, she lifted her jeans up and chuckled dryly before excusing herself with, “Sorry, was getting my clothes for work.”
His eyes went wide when he realized he had once again forgotten about time zones and the fact that it was a Tuesday morning. “Shit, darling. Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you and make you late for work.”
She finally looked up and waved him off, “You actually helped ‘cause I’m pretty sure I snoozed my alarm.” Moving out of frame, Ella started changing and she was so glad she could use the excuse of getting changed for him not to complain about her not showing her face like he always did when she tried to hide from him. “Miles and Josh are coming?” She asked first, feeling like him mentioning Alexa first was the best opening she’d get to ask about it without having to risk her heart.
“Yeah, you know Miles wouldn’t miss this one after not being able to come to Matt’s. And Josh has been trying to convince me to move over here since we met him back in the Humbug days.”
Ella chuckled as she pulled the jeans up her legs and buttoned them up, “That’s a long while he took to convince you.”
Alex hummed, “Well, he wasn’t the one to convince me in the end.” He hoped she’d get what he was trying to say, his smirk was a clear sign that he meant she was the sole reason he decided to finally do it.
But Ella wasn’t looking at her phone, she was staring at herself in the mirror and giving herself a quick mental pep talk as she geared up to ask, “You said Alexa is coming too? Alexa Chung?”
“Ah yes.” Alex nodded, “Bumped into her in New York the other day and we were chatting for a bit. I told her I was moving here soon and she said she was due a visit to LA so I should let her know if I was doing anything once I got the house.” He hoped he was playing it cool because in all honesty, most of the talk he’d had with Alexa was about how he was trying to get the house as soon as possible to finally be able to get things moving in the right direction with Ella.
“Oh, right. Right.” Ella said casually, like she wasn’t trying to figure out if Alexa had said that as a friend or if she’d been flirting.
“She’s excited to meet you, you know?” Alex continued, unaware of how Ella was struggling to take in the new information, “She’s seen your pictures and she loved them. Think she said something about wanting you to take her pictures, she loved the ones you took at Katie’s last year. Said you were brilliant.”
Deep breathe in and out. Ella tried not to think about how it’d be to not only meet her in four days but make peace with the fact that anything she would’ve hoped to have with Alex would also be gone in four days.
“I’m sure we can arrange something on Saturday.” Ella hoped she sounded like she was smiling, but the mirror reflected a wince instead of a grin and she wanted to scream at herself for being so pathetic.
She walked back into frame, watching Alex take one last drag of his cigarette and toss it to the ground. A pang of hurt flooded her system and she smiled sadly knowing that she’d soon lose all of this, purely because of her inability to just speak and make herself vulnerable to take a chance on it.
“Sweets, I unfortunately gotta go now but I’m so fucking happy for you and I really can’t wait to see you this weekend.” Despite the hurt, the love she felt for him shined through and it showed on her face. On her eyes shining as she watched him smile at her, on the sweet grin she offered him.
“Me too darling. I’ve missed you way too much.” Alex admitted with a loopy smile. He almost could already feel her arms around him as he clutched onto her when he’d see her next. Just a few more days and he could have her by his side again. And hopefully his plan would work out and he would be able to kiss her again, and again, and again. “Love you. I’ll see you soon.”
“Love you.” Ella replied, a hint of sadness behind the words, like she was mourning the loss of its actual meaning already. The loss of the opportunity to let him know how he’d driven her mad, and how she’d been so close to just risking everything in hopes he felt the same way. “See you soon.”
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Ella had been incredibly thankful that she’d gotten ahead of herself with her workload those three days she was back at the office because on Tuesday, after Alex’s call, she’d barely been able to concentrate enough to finish what she’d left halfway done on Monday.
She’d been frantically texting Breana all day, not knowing what to do with the fact that Alexa was meant to show up on Saturday along with everyone else. How could she even keep her emotions at bay when she was gonna be there too? It was impossible, and if it was any other case, she’d avoid the event altogether but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t because not only would Alex get suspicious and she’d feel like she would be letting him down, she wanted to know straight away if anything between the singer and the model were to happen.
Breana had let Ella talk all about it when she called her as soon as she got back home from work. The model had only a bit of time to talk to her best friend before she had to leave to see the band take on the stage of Summerfest to end the opening night of the festival with a ninety minute long set.
But before she could go, Bre left Ella with a few questions that she’d be pondering an answer to for the next twenty four hours.
“What if nothing happens between them on Saturday?” The model started saying after Ella had gone on a rant about what she’d have to do once Alex took Alexa back the day of the housewarming party. “What are you gonna do if there’s nothing going on there? Are you gonna waste another opportunity?”
“I doubt nothing will happen, Bre.” Ella sighed, rubbing her face in exhaustion. She needed her brain to stop for a bit so she could rest from the worries that filled her insides with dread.
Bre scoffed, “He said he bumped into her and they chatted about him moving to Los Angeles. How’s that a sign of them getting back together?”
“I don’t know, okay?!” Ella said loudly, wincing when Breana’s face fell at the volume and hostility of her response. “M’sorry. God, I’m so annoying. I’m sorry, I’ll stop bothering you with the same thing. I promise I’ll stop.”
“I just want you to stop with the bullshit.” Breana said frankly, “Stop with the stupid theories and the lack of security on where you stand with him. Alex doesn’t ever stop talking about you, he always has you in mind when even the smallest things happen. He smiles like a fucking fool whenever you text him and I know he’s texting you because I ask him every time and it’s always you. This is their fourth festival since Bonnaroo and I bet he’s going to say it doesn’t compare to Tennessee like he’s said with the other three before.”
Ella just stood there silent as she took in every word Breana said, the model took her silence as a sign to continue, “And why are you even waiting until Saturday for?! We all land tomorrow night and he’s going to his new house straight away so he’ll most likely be getting everything ready on Friday. You’ve got all of Friday to go see him and try your luck. You just gotta do it, Ellie.” In Breana’s mind, this was Ella’s chance and it would be such a shame to miss it, “Just go and tell him on Friday, spare you the hurt and the stress of waiting until Saturday for something—which isn’t fucking happening, by the way—to happen.”
There hadn’t been a chance for Ella to reply since Kelly and Katie came by the trailer to get Breana out and take her to the balcony since the guys were about ten minutes away from taking over the stage. Ella had to put on a smile and say a quick hello and goodbye to the girls she also missed tons, and then pretend like the call ending didn’t mean she was gonna go crazy with her own thoughts for the rest of the night.
Ella had fallen asleep thinking about every word Breana had said and she woke up to the same internal debate she’d been having all night. Would it be better if she just got it out of the way? If she’d just told him and have him let her down easy if he didn’t reciprocate. Have the chance to avoid seeing everyone on Saturday if it meant what she was dreading was actually happening, to start distancing herself before the damage was irreparable, to give herself a head start on the pain it’d bring her to lose everything that came with Alex.
There was a point during Thursday where everything changed from being unsure of telling him to knowing it was the right thing to do and it might’ve been the fact that he texted her, right as she was packing everything up to leave the office and head back home, to let her know that he was boarding his flight and it’d only be a matter of hours before they were in the same city.
She figured it was her lack of patience and the overwhelming need for answers that flipped the switch inside her. There was no chance she’d let this opportunity pass and she’d just have to deal with the consequences when the time came. She just needed to stop being afraid and face whatever would come with the strength she knew she could find inside herself.
For fucks sake, she’d been cheated on twice in her life already and she’d come out of the other end alive and well. And she’d survived it. What would another heartbreak do to her? Probably break her, realistically, but there was no way of knowing if she didn’t do what she needed to do.
Her appetite was gone by the time she finished cooking herself dinner but she’d tried eating as she watched a movie and it had worked to eat most of her plate. But she was fully spent by ten in the evening so she quickly washed the dishes and got herself ready for bed.
It wasn’t until she went to grab her phone from her coffee table that she realized Alex had texted her about half an hour before, her heart hammered inside her chest as she read what he’d sent.
(26/06/2014 21:43) Just landed and we’re waiting for our bags! Seeing the new house very soon. Do you want pictures or would you like a proper tour when you come? Cannot wait to see you darling xxxx
His words made her giggle like a fool, she bit her bottom lip as she went over his message again and walking back to her room, she threw herself on her bed and typed a response.
(26/06/2014 22:18) Think I’ll endure a few more days of intrigue and take you up on an actual house tour on Saturday. I missed you sweetness, can’t wait to hug you!! xxx
Ella couldn’t believe he was back in Los Angeles again, and she fell asleep with a grin on her face and her phone in hand as she waited for him to reply. A reply that she wouldn’t see until she woke up the next morning.
(26/06/2014 23:36) I’ll have you come earlier on Saturday then, give you proper time to take it all in. It’s cosy here, I think you’d really like it. You’ve no idea how much I just wanna have you here already and give you a cuddle. Love you darling xxxxx
As she got ready for work, she kept reading and rereading the message. Breana’s words echoing inside her mind as her gaze went over the text again and again.
It was Friday and this was it. It was the one day she could just get it over and done with, and it hurt thinking of treating the love she felt for him like a burden that she had to try and strip off herself as soon as she could, but it was for her own good. To know where she stood, to deal with what he was gonna choose to do.
But knowing what she’d decided to do and having to endure a full work day with it in mind had her going crazy. Every time Lydia would come in to check things with her, she was half distracted and had to ask the PA to repeat herself. She felt awful for it but she couldn’t help it, and she’d apologized for it multiple times.
By the time she came back from her lunch break and she’d been trying to properly answer emails for an hour, Ella called it a day and left. Ben and Aaron got a hasty apology for her early leave that they waved off, and they watched her all but run out of the office with confused looks on their faces.
Ella was just driving. She had no idea where she was going because after twenty minutes on the road, she knew it wasn’t the way back to her house, but she kept driving until she realized she’d taken the 101 freeway up to Hollywood Hills.
She made a quick detour when she knew she’d been driving the way to Matt and Bre’s, knowing Alex’s new house was a few minutes away from there. It would be bad if she went there empty handed, and she really needed an excuse to ease into whatever the conversation would turn out to be.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! She cursed over and over in her mind as she got off the freeway onto Hollywood Boulevard and went to the first grocery store she could find.
Two bottles of Pinot Noir later, Ella rushed back into her car and pulled up Alex’s new address—luckily he’d sent it to her with days in anticipation for her to know how much time it’d take her to get there on Saturday.
Merely fifteen minutes it took her to finally pull up into Alex’s driveway and when she put her car in park, her hands started shaking. She really had to clutch tightly onto the necks of the wine bottles not to drop them, one on each hand with her bag forgotten somewhere inside her car. In the haste to walk up to his front door she’d just grabbed her car keys and the wine bottles.
After having come all the way there, Ella rushed herself to ring the doorbell. There was no fucking way she was going to psych herself out of it when she was already there. Though going back inside her car and dashing back home to drink the wine alone as she cried over how much of a pussy she was being deep inside sounded very tempting.
But there was no chance for her to decide on taking that route for the front door opened and a sweaty and surprised Alex greeted her with the biggest of smiles.
Despite the house coming furnished for him to move in straight away, Alex had spent the entire day making it feel like home. Taking it upon himself to do some cleaning around and putting some clothes away that he knew he’d have to pack up again to leave back on tour, but he’d wanted to feel settled already.
As he’d been filling the drawers of his dresser with trousers and jeans, he remembered there were many things he needed to go through with his plan of the perfect way to finally tell Ella everything, and so he’d left his suitcase half unpacked and gone to the grocery store to buy everything he’d need to cook her a lovely dinner.
He knew he was going to try cooking her favorite pasta, making it a candlelit dinner and just giving it the old romantic fool to pour his heart and soul out for her. Like she deserved to get after all this time. There was no way he was leaving her again without properly trying to push their relationship in the direction he’d been longing for so long.
And Alex was planning on doing it all tonight, to give her a call and ask her to please join him that night, he was thinking he would probably tell her to come over a day early to give her that tour he’d promised. If he wanted this to work out, it couldn’t be hours before everyone else was due to come over.
But it seemed like she had beat him to it, bringing wine with her as well.
“Ella!” His eyes were wide and so was his toothy grin. Seeing her in front of him again flooded his system with relief, a feeling that escaped him when he saw the color drain from her face and the clear anxiety on her face. “Hi, darling. I wasn’t expecting you here today. Y’alright?”
Damn him and his ability to read her so easily. She stumbled through her thoughts, shaking her head and taking half a step backwards as she said, “Sorry, I-” What was she meant to say? How would she even begin the conversation?
Her gaze fell down to the wine bottles and she remembered why she’d gotten them in the first place, “Ermmmm, are you busy? I brought a gift…” She looked up at him and gave him a smile, moving the bottles up and showing them to him.
The joy she felt when seeing him in person just a few feet away from her was genuine, and she thought that was why he hadn’t questioned it. Alex gave her a tooth rotting sweet smile as he cooed, “Ah you’re so sweet.” and waved her inside, opening the front door wider and inviting her inside the new place, “Come in.”
Ella’s stomach flipped at the thought of what was about to happen and suddenly the excuse of bringing the wine as a gift felt like a mistake. “Actually, I–” She wanted to be sick. All the words she had been thinking about saying for the past twenty four hours rose up her throat and she was trying to hold back the impending word vomit.
“Fuck.” She cursed under her breath as she only took a few steps inside the house. There wasn’t even a moment for her to take in the beauty of the place since the second she heard the door closing behind her, she turned to Alex and gave him an awkward smile to let him know, “Erm, I wasn’t planning on staying long.”
His brows shot up and he smirked, amused at the sudden change in behavior. He still found her so fucking endearing, she was like a little mouse trapped in a corner by a predator. “You just drove over an hour to bring me a bottle of wine and leave me to drink it alone?” He knew the traffic must’ve been awful on the way here, and he wasn’t letting her go without getting an explanation for the way she was acting.
A few beats of silence passed before she answered, “Yes?” the inflection of her voice going up so her affirmation sounded like a question.
If she wasn’t gonna say it without being explicitly asked, then fine, he would ask. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She hastily replied, way too fast to appear normal. She winced, holding her breath for a few seconds before reiterating, shaking her head and chuckling dryly at herself, “Nothing! Sorry, this is stupid.”
“Ella.” Alex said a bit more sternly then, “What’s going on?”
Her eyes met his and she watched the determination he had to get an answer. She couldn’t turn back anymore, there was no chance she could lie her way out of this one, to give him some white lie that he’d believe was the reason for her awkwardness.
It was right then, it just had to be done. Taking a deep breath, she started, “Okay, erm… I gotta tell you something.” Alex frowned and opened his mouth to speak but she got ahead of him and pleaded with him, “But please let me finish before you say anything, okay?” She would burst out crying and lose her ability to speak if he was to cut in the middle of the flood of words that she knew was coming soon.
But the singer was starting to worry and his amused smirk was long gone, exchanged for a deep frown and distress clear in those brown eyes of his, “What’s happened?”
“Alex.” Ella said in a sigh, begging silently for him to do what she was asking for. Before she could make a run for the door and escape, leaving it all a mess behind her.
Alex pressed his lips together and nodded, “Sorry, go on.”
“No, don’t apologize.” She was the one to frown this time, her chest felt so tight and it was getting uncomfortable. “Okay, fuck.” Every word she’d rehearsed was slipping away from her mind, and in its place a knot of thoughts stayed. Knot that if she didn’t manage to untangle in the next minute, she’d start crying out of frustration at herself. “Wait.”
Alex nodded, willing to wait as she gathered herself to start saying whatever it was that was bothering her. He had no idea what it was but he was already thinking of ways to help her. There were only so many solutions he could come up with when he didn’t know the situation, “Is everything okay? What can I do? Do you need my help with anything?”
“No. I–” She started, but before she could continue trying to ask for some more time to think about it, Alex spoke again.
“Then what’s wrong, darling?” It was so sickeningly sweet, the way he walked up closer to her and reached his hand out to grab hers, the way his brows furrowed even more but that look in his eyes prevailed, the one that she’d started to read like something close to devotion.
She couldn’t get a grasp on her logic anymore, and her words escaped her in a loud manner that made him freeze in his place, “I’m tired!”
Alex was beyond confused, a quiet “What?” leaving his lips in a split second.
But Ella’s eyes started filling up with tears when she continued, “I’m so exhausted from this, Alex!”
Completely forgetting what he’d promised just a few seconds before, Alex went ahead and tried to ask for an explanation, “What do you–?”
Ella interrupted him before he could finish the question, giving him the explanation he was looking for with a passion that burned her insides, “This! All of this! The cruel back and forth that leaves me confused.”
She just needed to let it all out now, and that she’d do. Not that she could control the way her mouth moved ahead of her brain, words leaving her before she could even process her own thoughts, “I don’t want you to go again because I feel like my heart’s being ripped out of my chest every time and, fuck, I’m in love with you and I was so close to telling you that after the festival but then you had to leave. And then just two days later, you’re seen with Alexa in New York and everyone is talking about how ‘the IT couple is back’ and mentioning me in some stupid article just to completely disregard me like I’m some disposable thing to you, so that they could go on and on about you and her.”
Her voice broke by the end, remembering everyone’s excited words when it came to talking about the possibility of them two getting back together. She hated it, she really hated how badly it got her so she let it out too, “And I hate it! I fucking hate it! ‘Cause I just want you to be around but you can’t and it fucking hurts. All the damn time. But I’m never brave enough to just fucking tell you.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks, hot trail from the corners of her eyes down to her neck, she ignored them as best as she could to continue with her rant, “But now you’ve moved here and it’s too real, and I was scared of letting you know how stupidly in love I am with you but I just can’t lose you to somebody else again.”
She huffed as she shook her head, like a child showing her determination on the matter, “So I have to risk it. I have to risk getting rejected, ruining our friendship, losing you entirely and I–”
A sob managed to rip through her at the thought of this being the last time she’d see him, of everything ended like this, “I don’t wanna lose you but I can’t keep it to myself any longer. And I’m sorry but I just–” The words tangled on the tip of her tongue then, the avalanche of words abruptly ending after all of that.
Alex was breathless, his chest heaving as he stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth agape and his throat dry. He could barely muster the soft, “Ella, I–” he let out.
But he didn’t say anything else, he just stared at her with his brows furrowed like he was confused and it all dawned on her.
It had been such a mistake to do it like this, she’d needed to think it through properly and not throw herself into it as if she had a way with words, as if she could make it cute and nice and enchant him with an improvised speech.
It had been a mess and it was all fucking ruined. “No. Don’t.” She shook her head, not even wanting to meet his gaze anymore. “Oh fuck, this was so stupid.” She wanted to hit her head against the wall, to smash the bottles she was still holding in her hands, “I’m so stupid.” She cried out loud before shaking her head again and sniffling, breathing deeply and trying to swallow the knot in her throat.
She managed to look up, the singer looked blurry through her tear filled eyes. She was glad she couldn’t really make up his face then so she took a step up to him and pushed the bottles towards his chest, “This is pathetic. Just take the wine.” But he didn’t even try to make the effort to receive the bottles so pressed her lips together as she silently cried even more, turning on her heels to walk up to his kitchen island and leave the wine there.
In a hurry, she started walking back towards the front door, shaking her head once again as she tried to think of how badly it had gone but it was all blurry. Yet, Alex’s silence was enough to know it had gone terribly wrong.
“I’ll see you on Sunday if you even wanna keep me on the guest list.” She mumbled, almost by the door, but he quickly walked up to her, his hand stretching out to what she thought was opening the door for her. She watched the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows and she cried to herself again in frustration. How could it have gone so wrong? “Sorry. You probably were busy, doing stuff and–”
But instead of his fingers wrapping around the handle of the door, they wrapped around her wrist to turn her around, so she could see the wicked smile on his face as he asked, “Why now?”
She was fucking trying not to audibly sob and he was smirking at her? Ella narrowed her eyes as she asked, “Pardon?”
“Why now?” He repeated his question but that smirk only tugged further on the corners of his mouth and that to Ella only meant he was making fun of her. Suddenly, the heartbreak was mixing with rage and all she could do about it was run away. So she tugged away from his grasp, her arm slipping away from his hold but he was fast to catch her wrist again as he sternly said, “No, Ella.”
She thrashed again, trying to pull away from his hold, “Alex, please let me go.” Another wave of tears flooded her eyes.
But he shook his head and he sounded breathless when he replied, “No. Just give me a second.”
Ella scoffed, pulling hard enough to escape his hold again, but this time her gaze was harsher and her words sounded venomous, “Why? So you can let me down easy and send me back home? So you can exchange me for another one of your models like you’ve done before?”
Alex ignored the way her words stung, taking a big step towards her and cupping her neck with his right hand to make her look at him. Her eyes brimmed with angry tears broke his heart and the way she was staring at him with rage that was almost palpable had him pressing his fingers a bit tighter around her neck.
Her mouth opened with a gasp at the pressure and he smirked. His left hand came up to wipe away a tear that rolled down her cheek before it could fall down to rest on her waist, where he clutched her tightly and pressed her against him.
His tongue poked out in between his lips to lick them softly, and he smiled even harder when he saw her gaze fall on his mouth. He was almost drooling at the thought of tasting her mouth again, but this time it’d be so much better with everything out in the open, with his heart out for her to finally take in her hands, because it had been hers for so long she just had to hold it close to her chest.
He shook his head softly, denying the things she’d said were about to happen. He wanted to scream out of happiness, cheer and celebrate finally being able to say it out loud for her to hear, “So I can process that this isn’t just another one of my dreams and tell you that I fucking love you too.”
Without giving Ella a second to properly react to his words, Alex caught her lips between his and their mouths melted in a kiss that contrasted so much to the ones they’d shared before. Because it was raw and with a passion that they’d been trying to hide for so long finally revealed. It was needy and devoted, their fingers clutching onto each other tightly and harshly, almost sure they’d be leaving marks but nothing sounded more fulfilling.
They could finally bare themselves to the other, proudly wear the fact that they were each other’s like a medal. Loud moans slipped from their mouth as the knowledge ringed in their heads. They kissed harder, deeper, running out of breaths.
“Alex…” Ella panted as she pulled back, trying to get some oxygen back in her lungs as fast as she could, the need to have his mouth on hers too intense to even give her body what it needed to survive.
All she needed was him. Only him.
“Ella…” Alex whispered back, his forehead pressing against hers with his eyes closed, just taking in the proximity—the way they were taking each other’s breaths, the brush of their noses as they gasped for air.
“Don’t stop.” She begged, her eyes opening to see him and plead with them as well as with her words, “Please.”
His eyes fluttered open, being met with her green eyes that made him weak in the knees. “Never.” He mumbled back. She had him entirely at his mercy, he would do anything she asked and more.
Alex pounced on her lips again with desperation. He leaned in, sucking the air out of her mouth, licking away any remaining sanity. Her lungs burned. Greedy, his hands fell down her body until he grabbed her ass. He gave it a harsh squeeze, eliciting a moan out of her, before clutching the backs of her thighs and swiftly picking her up off the ground.
A squeal fell from her lips when he lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his hips quickly. She whimpered at the feeling of his hardening cock brushing her already aching core. He walked backwards blindly, cursing under his breath as she rolled her hips into him, begging for friction. She let a delighted giggle out, kissing him harsher.
Ella’s arms wrapped around his neck, fingers running up his hair and pulling on the longer strands. She swallowed the groan that rumbled through his chest at the feeling of her nails scratching his scalp and tugging his hair. His steps got quicker then and he only stopped when he felt the edge of the settee against the back of his legs.
Sitting down carefully, he settled on the settee with Ella straddling him. His growing bulge was even more obvious then, and she let her legs spread a bit more so she’d be deliciously pressed against his hardness.
“Fuck, Ella,” was his first reaction, breathy and solemn from his lips. She nodded, finding his mouth again, already addicted.
The brush of his tented jeans on her clothed clit felt heavenly, her own denim shorts only adding to the way the friction was making her increasingly dizzy. She had to break the kiss to gasp loudly. A cheeky grin teased his mouth, only to be wiped away for a moan as she rolled her hips. His hands dug at her thighs, encouraging her, guiding her.
Ella tried to catch her breath, but it was knocked out of it at the sight of Alex. Pupils blown, lips swollen, hair disheveled. They were panting, both stuck with the dilemma of not knowing if they should elongate the moment or hurry to the point they had been waiting so long for.
It had been barely eleven days since that cowboy party, and not even once had Alex stopped thinking about it. Not when he closed his eyes and he could still feel her fingers all over his body, the way she pressed against him and taunted him with the move of her hips, the taste of her lips and her tongue and the bruises she sucked on his skin.
But now he finally had her, and his expression which had been contorted in utter pleasure softened for adoration. He brought his hand up to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek right after. She leaned into his touch with a loopy smile, kissing his palm, her hips slowing down to an unhurried pace.
“You’re so beautiful.” The words came out soft, his breath hitting her parted lips as he leaned in again and they met in the middle for another kiss.
She cupped his jaw and wrapped an arm around his neck, pushing herself flush against him as she followed the pace he’d set for the dizzying kiss they were sharing. Her hips picked up speed again, making them moan into each other's mouth.
His quiet whimpers and moans were driving her mad. She just couldn’t wait to hear him properly, once and for all, coming undone for her.
Alex grabbed a handful of her ass, kneading her flesh harshly with his fingers, making her roll her hips rougher against him. Her mouth went slack at the pleasure rippling through her.
“Shit.” Ella shuddered, letting her head drop and moaning into his neck. She started a trail of sloppy open mouthed kisses there, her hands working through the buttons of his shirt until it was completely open and she had more skin to kiss.
She went back to kiss his lips first, but she rushed through it. Now that she had all that skin available, she was going to make sure to mark every inch of him so everyone knew he was hers.
She made her way down his jaw, his neck and even going behind his ear, enjoying a certain spot that had him bucking his hips up and breathlessly moaning. It wasn’t until she was sucking the skin on his collarbone that she knew she’d hit the jackpot. When she started marking up the place at the base of his neck, he let out a loud groan that made her smile.
She let go of the skin there, giving the soft red mark a peck to then look up at him, “You liked that, yeah?” Her smirk was big and proud on her face, already enjoying the way he’d become putty in her hands this easily.
“Yes. Fuck, Ella, I like everything you do to me.” Her hips rolled once more, him meeting the movement by thrusting upwards. “Especially that. God, darling, I fucking love it.” She chuckled, quicking her pace.
She peppered kisses on his collarbone again, smirk brushing his skin. “And do you love that?” She teased, trailing a hot tongue on his red skin. His chest rose and fell against her mouth.
“Yeah, but–” She nipped gently at his skin and he jumped, thrusting up into her. “Shit. But–” Ella hummed, encouraging him to go on like her wicked tongue wasn’t actively doing the contrary. Finally, Alex grew desperate, missing the feeling of her lips on his so he grabbed her by the neck, calloused fingers pressing tightly on its sides to pull her back up to meet his mouth.
Teeth clashed, as the air grew hotter around them, the kiss was messy and the smacking of their wet lips echoed inside his living room. Their hips went faster, meeting in the middle every time with a growing desperation, looking for relief until she stopped.
Ella hummed into his mouth before breaking the kiss again, “Let’s go to your room.” She needed more, so much more than just dry humping him over their clothes.
Her suggestion was met with an eager Alex, who wasted no time grabbing her by the ass and rushed through the hallway to go up to his room. Her smile was impossibly wide, he could feel it on his neck where she was hiding, leaving a few pecks as he walked up to the bedroom.
Alex didn’t even know how he had gotten to his room so quickly, barging through the door but taking his time to set her on the bed softly. And their lips met once again, it was a bruising kiss filled with urgency.
Yet, for the first time in their lives, they were in no danger of running out of time.
They’d finally said the words they’d been wanting to say and heard the ones they’d been waiting to hear. They had all the time in the world. Every minute of every day for as long as they wanted, and just from the way they were kissing, it seemed like forever was the only option.
Ella’s legs wrapped around his waist after Alex took her shoes off blindly, and she dug her feet on his ass to make his hips press against her throbbing cunt once more. He started rolling his hips then, thrusting into her and the kiss only got sloppier. She was growing breathless as he pressed his hardening cock against her clothed clit. Their moans grew louder, needier.
His hands started wandering, going from cupping her face down her neck and chest until they rested on each side of her waist. His fingers started fiddling with the edges of her shirt and they snaked beneath the fabric of it, slowly lifting it up. “This okay?” He asked, out of breath. She didn’t answer; instead, she pushed herself up enough for him to take it off her with ease.
The piece of clothing was lost somewhere on his bedroom floor, thrown away carelessly as his entire focus was on admiring her figure, exposed all for him.
Her black bra hugged her tits perfectly and when she let herself fall back down on the bed, they looked as if they were about to spill out of the bra. If Ella had anticipated her confession would’ve ended in this, she would’ve worn something much nicer—she cringed at the thought of the plain and simple black thong she was wearing—but it didn’t matter to Alex for he was jaw dropped at the sight of her.
“Fucking hell,” He mumbled before dipping his head to kiss a path over the valley of her breasts, his tongue coming out to lick her skin in a painfully slow pace. Her back arched as she moaned when he bit on the top of one of her tits. She got louder and squirmed even more when he repeated his actions on the other one.
“And this is all mine?” Alex asked breathlessly, eyes now on hers and she nodded with a loopy smile, her cheeks flushed from everything that was happening. “I’m so lucky.” He couldn’t wait to see her naked, to devote himself to giving every inch of her the attention she deserved.
His hand snaked between her back and the mattress, and there he found the clasp of the bra. With apt fingers he undid it and slowly peeled off the piece of clothing off Ella’s body. His breath hitched at the sight of her bare chest, her hardened nipples making his mouth water. “You’re killing me. You’re actually trying to kill me.” She flushed slightly, secretly pleased.
He couldn’t wait any longer to have his mouth on them. Flattening his tongue, he dipped his head to give a bold lick to one of her nipples, pointing the tip of his tongue to start flicking it. Ella squirmed beneath him, whimpering and moaning at the taunting touch. Her hand came to cradle his head, moving slowly up until she could tangle her fingers in his hair just as he latched his lips around her nipple and started sucking eagerly.
“Shit, Alex.” Ella managed in between gasps as he alternated between sucking and flicking.
He smirked at the sight of her, wanting to ruin her even more. So he let go of her nipple with a pop before he bit it.
A mewl fell from her lips at the pain his teeth inflicted on her sensitive nipple, her hips rolled in search of relief but he had her pinned down with the way his body was resting on top of her. She needed more of him, her cunt throbbed and leaked with arousal with everything he did.
“Alex!” And it came out as half a beg, half an order. Alex nodded against her, undeterred. Her need for more only got more intense when he started sucking bruises on her tits, biting and sucking and drinking in all the sweet sounds she let out as the pain of his abuse on her skin sizzled into dizzying pleasure.
“So good for me,” he promised. “Taking it all.” His tongue came to lick the blooming love bites, pecks on top of sore skin before he moved onto her other tit. Smirking proudly when she was just as responsive to his actions as she had been before. “So pretty. The best fucking girl with the best fucking tits.”
And he wouldn’t stop until she was whining in a high pitch. The sounds she made were music to his ears, only wanting to keep getting them out of her, “Alex. More. I need more.” She managed in between moans. She was clenching around nothing and it frustrated her, she loved what he was doing to her but she had a half mind to take over everything and let herself have her way with him just like she wanted already.
“Say please,” he singsung.
Desperate, “Please.”
“Soon,” Alex breathed, continuing his tantalizing trail of kisses and half hearted bites down her chest and stomach, smirking as he watched her through his lashes. Ella huffed and pushed him off her. He fell onto his back and she wasted no time to straddle him.
His shirt was still messily on him, barely hanging on his shoulders and becoming a burden more than anything. She grabbed onto his collar to pull him up until he sat on the mattress. Once his chest was pressed flush against hers, Ella pushed the shirt off him and tossed it behind her onto the floor.
Alex watched the way her eyes darkened with lust and mischief, a wicked smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth as her fingers moved slowly up his chest, brushing his shoulders and neck until she cupped his jaw with both her hands and pressed her lips on his. “My turn,” she said gleefully, kissing him again. Alex laughed, though indulged her.
Feeling his bare chest under her fingertips as she licked into his mouth made her patience run thin, she couldn’t keep kissing him without continuing to bruise his skin. The sight of the bruises she’d left on his neck a few minutes before made her mouth water with the need to leave more.
Ella got drunk off the whimpers and shaky moans Alex let out as she sucked harshly on his skin, his hips bucking every time she sunk her teeth into his flesh. He was a mess, clawing at the sheets as she abused his skin, and she fucking loved it. “I want to ruin you,” she revealed.
“Yeah?”
Making her way down with wet open mouthed kisses, she got right below his navel where his happy trail started and came down until it disappeared beneath his clothes. She licked a bold strip up the hair there, smirking when he cried out in pleasure and thrusted upwards so his bulge hit her tits.
“I want you to fucking beg.”
She left more kisses along the edge of his jeans, making him bite on his bottom lip to stop himself from being too loud. But that was exactly what she wanted, so she latched onto a patch of his skin there and started sucking harshly until his fingers came to tangle in her hair and pulled her off him.
He would definitely cum in his pants if she continued teasing him like that.
“Do you trust me?” She asked sweetly, batting her lashes at him. Putting on the innocence act to have him say yes to what she wanted to do. Not that she needed it, because he’d do anything she wanted now that he had her like this.
His mind was a mess and his words failed him so he only nodded. She tutted and shook her head as she started crawling up his body until their noses brushed and they couldn’t look anywhere else but into each other’s eyes.
“Words, baby.” She whispered, her voice low and sultry making him groan before nodding again.
This time his nod was accompanied by, “I do. I trust you.”
Ella hummed in satisfaction, and she turned her head slightly to the side to kiss the palm of his hand, which was still holding her head with his fingers tangled in the strands of her hair.
But for what she wanted to do, she needed him to drop his hold on her. So she held onto his wrist to pull his hand away and she peeled herself off and away from him.
His gaze followed her intently as she got off the bed and stood at the side of it, slowly undoing the button and zip of her shorts and pulling them down, making a whole show of undressing that only made Alex grow achingly harder inside his jeans.
His breath hitched in his throat seeing her like that, almost entirely bare for him. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he whispered. She grinned. She swayed her hips a little as she hooked her fingers on the edge of her underwear and without breaking eye contact, she shed herself of the last piece of clothing that kept herself hidden from him.
Alex whined from the back of his throat. “You’re not real. You were made to be my downfall.”
“Yes,” Ella agreed. To ruin him, to unravel him. Fully naked, she came back on the bed to straddle him again. Her slick core brushed against his bulge over his jeans and she smirked harder at the way he reacted, a whine leaving his lips, hips bucking up as his hands held her hips tightly, pressing her against him and keeping her there as she slowly rolled her hips on him. “I’ll make you fall, Alex.”
“You already have.” She smiled, raking a hand through his hair. His lips part, a quiet moan on his lips.
Ella loved the view she had, Alex fully at her mercy. She just couldn’t believe her luck; after all those years of thinking and fantasizing about it, she could finally have him like this.
“You look so pretty like this.” Her thumb rubbed at his cheek as she cupped it, leaning in until their breaths mixed together. Her fingers slowly moved down his face until she could wrap her fingers around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.
Their lips met hungrily again, Alex had her naked on top of him and he wanted nothing more than take his jeans and underwear off and fuck her senseless, but Ella had other plans.
Her lips left his mouth to start kissing all over his face, each peck followed by some type of praise that he was loving. “Beautiful.” Smack. “Talented.” Smack. “Smart.” Smack. “Loving.” Smack. His heart swelled in his chest, the contrast between her shameless lustful behavior and the sweet words she kept uttering had him dazed. “And that nose,” she teased. With one last peck on his lips which Alex tried to elongate, Ella found his gaze and with the sweetest voice, asked him, “Can I ride your pretty face?”
His breath staggered hearing that, his cock twitching in his pants at the thought of what was about to happen. He nodded quickly like he had just a few seconds to answer before the offer was gone, and he added a breathless please when he remembered her telling him to use his words.
That was enough of a greenlight for Ella to push herself up on her knees and start shuffling up his body until she’d been hovering over his face. She would’ve kissed him once more if she wasn’t desperate to feel his mouth on her cunt already, if she wasn’t dripping and throbbing for his touch.
Alex’s lips parted at the sight of her slick cunt practically begging for him to latch his mouth on her. His hands ran up her thighs slowly until he rested them on her hips and he guided her a bit further up on the bed so her knees caged his head in place.
He was almost drooling, already imagining how sweet she’d taste on his tongue. But despite the growing burning need to lick up her folds already, he started kissing up the insides of her thighs, sucking and biting the skin like she now knew he loved to do and making her whimper and squirm in his hold.
There seemed to be no hurry in his mind, repeating the actions in that same agonizing pace on her other leg. By the time he got incredibly closer to her sopping cunt and her legs started to tremble from the teasing, she was ready to tell him off for it. She felt the way his hot breath left from so close to her core, a frustrated whimper fell from her lips.
Just when Ella looked down with a frown and her hand came down to tangle in his hair, he craned his neck up to lick a bold strip up her folds, wrapping his lips around her clit once he licked past her entrance.
He hummed at her taste, using his hands to pull her closer to his mouth just as he taunted, “Come closer, darling. You taste so fucking good.”
Without wasting more time, he started flicking his tongue up and down, her slick already dripping down his chin and mixing with his spit as he lapped and lapped like he was starved.
One of his hands left her hip and came down to her cunt, to spread her open so he could properly suck her clit, the pressure of it making her get louder and start pulling on his hair to bring him closer to her. “Need you. Fuck, Alex, keep doing that.”
He fucking loved it, the reaction only pushed him to getting more out of her. By that point, he was humping the air in search of some kind of relief. Her moans only made him drip in his jeans but he had no time to feel embarrassed at the pace in which he was ruining his pants, not when he had her sweetness all over his face.
He moved down, two fingers spreading her folds as he pointed his tongue and he started dipping it inside her sopping hole. Her back arched, breath hitching in her throat, “Fuck, yes Alex–” She could just keep saying his name as he started fucking her with his tongue, broken gasps and high pitched moans slipped past her lips and only got louder and more desperate when he started moving his head, causing his nose to flick at her clit with every thrust of his tongue inside her.
It was all so much. Not only what he was doing to her but the whole scene, it was so much better than she could’ve ever imagined and as he continued working his tongue in and out of her before lapping up at her arousal only to end up with him flicking and sucking on her clit, Ella was sure she wouldn’t last much longer.
“Oh God, oh God.” Ella rolled her hips on his face, grabbing her own breast and playing with the nipple. Pleasure rushed through her. “Fuck, Alex, you’re–”
The mix of her arousal and his spit was already dripping down his neck by the time he teased one of his fingers into the cunt. His mouth left her clit and the hot breath that came from it along with his gasp as her hole swallowed his finger with ease made her even more of a whining mess. “–Perfect,” she finally finished, though with much difficulty. “You’re perfect.”
He curled his finger inside her before drawing it back and the loss of the slight fullness had Ella crying out loud. So at the same time as he wrapped his lips around her clit again, he pushed two fingers inside her, curling them and making her legs shake and her hips rut as she leaned forward and held onto his headboard with a white knuckled grip.
The feeling of his skilled fingers curling inside her and his mouth sucking harshly on her clit made Ella erratically grind her hips against his face. “Alex! Yes! Yes!” She chanted breathlessly, every one of his actions stealing the breath from her lungs. She felt her orgasm so fucking close, her brain melted and every one of her filthy thoughts left her, “God, I fucking love your mouth! So eager, so greedy. Lapping at me like you’re starved, like you need me. It was made for me. Made to be between my thighs.” A throaty and long hum came from him, that vibrated against her and made her squeal in pleasure.
So he did it again, and again, along with picking up the pace with his fingers. “Made to worship me,” Ella blabbered on, mindless. “All perfect and hot and– Fuck, Alex–” The combination of it all threw Ella over the edge.
Profanities along with his name was all that he could hear from her as she came all over his mouth and face. Despite the tremble of her legs and the stuttering of her hips as she came, he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop, not when he looked up at her and saw how fucking stunning she looked as she came. Her chest flushed and her tits bouncing as she rutted on his face, her mouth agape and brows scrunched up in pleasure, hair a mess falling on her shoulder and sticking to the sides of her face as a thin coat of sweat glazed her skin.
Riding out her high with that in mind, Alex kept his unrelenting pace until it made Ella’s knees weak and she had to be the one to pull him away from her cunt before she fell on his face and smothered him.
It wasn’t like Alex wouldn’t say that was the best way to go.
“That nose,” she cursed, shaking her head.
Her chest was heaving as she struggled to shuffle down his body, while he was hypnotized with how good she looked all fucked out. “I want to do that again. And again. And again. For the rest of my fucking life.” Ella chuckled at his words, still shortwinded. “I’m serious. I want that view forever.”
“Oh my– Fuck, c’mere,” Ella wrapped her hand around his neck as she looked at him, her cum all over his face. She hastily leaned in to kiss him and when she tasted herself, a loud moan came from her. It rumbled through her chest and she only got more desperate when she settled her hips on his and felt him rock hard in his jeans.
Her head spinned as a new wave of arousal flooded her system, as if she hadn’t just cum all over his face a few seconds before.
Sticking her tongue out, she lapped at the mess that had dripped down his neck. Lewd noises came from her as she tasted herself on his skin and when she got to his jaw, she wiped his chin with her thumb and brought it up to his mouth for him to suck. A smirk broke on her face when his wet swollen lips wrapped around her finger, eyes rolling back into his head and humming as he tasted the last bits of her arousal.
She admired him for a few seconds, her thumb brushing against his lips while she cupped his jaw and her other hand went up to brush his hair back. “See, I knew you were beautiful but you look even prettier with my cum all over your face.”
His cock twitched in his pants, her praises making him harder than he thought he could get from just words, but she was just so stunning like this, taking complete control over him and making a mess of him. He’d never considered himself submissive but fucking hell wouldn’t he willingly put himself at her mercy every time if that was what she wanted. The filthy words she’d been saying as she rode his face came to the forefront of his mind and he couldn’t help but point out the contrast between them and her sweet praise, it was just like the contrast of her sweet shy self and the Ella he was seeing now.
“God, you couldn’t be more perfect,” he whispered, barely registering the words left his mouth.
His hips bucked once again and his face fell into a pained expression when he brushed against her cunt. Ella pouted at the look on his face, feeling just how fucking hard he was and how he must be aching in those jeans, so she leaned in to peck his lips before saying softly, “Let me take care of you, yeah?” Alex whimpered when she rolled her hips once more as he nodded at her words. Again, she teased, “Words?”
“Please.”
“So polite.” He caught a glimpse of her smirk while she busied herself into kissing down his jaw and neck, down his chest until she was facing his bulge. With deft fingers, she undid the button and tugged down the zip, her fingers hooked on the edge of the denim to start peeling it off him and she smiled when he lifted his hips up to let her take them off him.
Alex was slightly relieved from the partial freedom, sighing as she kissed back up his chest and met his lips once more. But when she started rolling her hips slowly on his again, he knew that she was teasing him and he didn’t know how much of that he could take.
“Ella, please.” He mumbled in a broken moan when her hips rolled again.
Their lips brushed when she asked, “What do you want, baby?” Her hips stopped so he could form a coherent answer to her question.
Alex felt like he would explode at any second, so he just shook his head as he peeled his eyes open and stared into her eyes, “Anything. Just need you, darling.”
Biting her bottom lip, Ella took in every detail of his face. She sighed heavily before kissing him again. Leave it to him to sweet talk her into considering not teasing him and give him exactly what he wanted.
She could find some middle ground, so she enjoyed the slow trail of her mouth kissing down his chest and licking over the bruises she’d left there already. And she especially enjoyed hearing him whimper when she finally got to the band of his boxers and all she did was leave open mouthed kisses along it.
Taking some pity on Alex, Ella thought it had been enough taunting so she brought his boxers down, his hard cock springing free and slapping against his belly. He was swollen and heavy, red tip already leaking so much precum and her mouth watered at the sight, wanting nothing more than to take him in her mouth and gag on it but the need to continue teasing him a bit more was far stronger.
She moved back up to face him and he was about to complain but all the words died in his throat when she grabbed his chin and turned his head to the side so he could face her and said, “Spit in my mouth.” before parting her lips and sticking her tongue out for him to spit on.
“Fucking hell, Ella.” Alex cursed under his breath. He was sure she’d been made for him, this was something he hadn’t seen coming but fucking hell didn’t it make him want to kiss her lips until they were bruised and make her cum over and over until she couldn’t move out of bed. There was this animalistic need to give her everything he could give, until he could satiate the need of her.
Ella rolled her eyes and dug her fingers harshly into his face as if to hurry him and he snapped out of his trance to cup her jaw firmly, spitting into her mouth just like she’d requested. She hummed and closed her eyes in bliss when she felt his warm spit coating her tongue, closing her mouth to swallow it.
“Do it again.” She said, stealing Alex’s air from his lungs all over again, his cock twitching and he felt a bead of precum leaking out of the tip.
He spat in her mouth again but this time she didn’t swallow it, she shuffled down the bed to come back beside his cock and wrap her fingers around it, spitting on it and letting the mixture of her and Alex’s saliva dribble down his length until it hit the duvet.
“You’re filthy,” he whined, and it sounded like a praise.
Her thumb rubbed on the tip of his cock, smearing the precum down his length and starting to stroke him up and down slowly. Her eyes admired the way his cock looked thrusting in and out her fist, throat going dry at the thought of how it’d look like as he fucked her, but then she looked up and saw him already a flushed panting mess and she couldn’t help but stopping her movements to taunt him.
Alex groaned at the loss of the friction her hand brought on him and out of desperation, he started thrusting up into her hand to resume the pleasure that it had brought him. Ella smirked and started moving again, a very slow pace to have him do most of the work. “That’s it, fuck my fist.”
He whimpered, leaking more and more of his salty arousal as his pleasure made him shudder and stop being able to keep his eyes open. All he could think of was cumming, so he picked up his pace, his hips meeting her fist every time he thrusted up, “Oh Ella– Fuck!”
She could only watch him with her mouth agape, almost drooling and her cunt throbbing and clenching around nothing at the sight. She had to press her thighs together to get some kind of alleviation. “Yes Alex, just like that. Is this how you fucked yours huh? Is this how you fucked your fist to my pictures?”
Alex was desperate to orgasm, her statement almost flying past him. His brows furrowed, concentrated in the rhythm he had set for himself but he grew confused as to how she knew that. “Wha– Ah fuck! Who told you that?”
She chuckled at his lack of denial, “Who do you think?” She giggled at herself, finding it amusing that she’d brought this up in such a situation.
A string of profanities left him, as he felt himself growing closer and closer to his orgasm. His hips started stuttering and she tutted, “No, you’re not cumming yet babe.” Her fist left his cock, coming to rest on the mattress and a massive smirk showed on her face when his eyes went wide open and he started complaining.
“But Ella– Please, let me–” He choked on his words when her thumb brushed on his tip again and she brought the finger up to her mouth to suck. “Please, darling. I need it. Need you.”
She hummed, satisfied with his growing desperation and making a show of swiping her thumb over the tip of his cock again and moaning loudly at his taste. He groaned in protest, but she shut him up with a hot kiss, smacking lips and teeth clashing for a minute until she felt him rubbing against her leg, dripping precum over her.
She left him with a peck, moving back down his body and once more, she grabbed his cock. This time not waiting before licking a bold strip from the base to the tip, sucking harshly on the head of his cock before letting it go with a pop when he whimpered loudly, “Tell me how bad you want it.”
He looked down at her and couldn’t do more than just curse under his breath, “Fuck, Ella.” He could bust right then and there just from the view.
Her breathy chuckle hit the tip of his cock and he whined, “That’s the spirit but not what I asked.”
Alex ached and he knew he had to listen to her if he wanted to get anything, “I want you so bad darling, your mouth–”
But Ella was enjoying this way too much so she teased him some more, her words coming out in a sing-song tone, “You’re missing the magic word.”
He rolled his eyes and threw his head back on the pillows, “Please darling, I want to fuck your mouth.”
A snort of laughter came from her, Alex groaned at the sound because he was on the verge of tears and begging for her to do something, anything. “Chivalry is truly not dead after all, huh?” She joked with a stupid smile on her face.
The singer would’ve laughed in any other situation but he was about to lose it, he couldn’t even use his hands because he was fisting the duvet so hard his fingers ached. “Stop teasing, Ella, please.”
She dared him then, “Oh, but I thought you liked teasing?” There was a clear memory of him stating that, and how it’d opened a can of worms that always came to the forefront of her mind when she touched herself to the thought of him.
She smirked again and taunted him by leaving a soft peck on the tip of his cock, making Alex cry out a pained, “Fuck me–”
Still teasing, Ella hummed and played with the meaning of his words in a nonchalant manner, “Maybe in a bit, if you’re good and listen to what I say.”
Despaired now, he didn’t mind begging at all, “I will, I will. I promise baby. Just– Please Ella, I need you. Need you so fucking bad.” The vein on the side of his neck protruded as he spoke in a haste.
Ella was more than satisfied with that and she breathily let him know what had been her plan all along, “Just like that, Alex. I want you desperate.”
And with that she took him in her mouth, inhaling deeply through her nose to take him as deep as she could. When he hit the back of her throat, Alex subconsciously thrusted into her mouth, moaning louder than he had anticipated, making her gag but moan back in response when she drew back enough to take a deep breath.
With her taking him to the back of her throat every time, hollowing her cheeks and bobbing her head up and down relentlessly, he started twitching in her mouth and squirming beneath her in a minute. Ella knew he was close and she would’ve loved to have him paint her throat with his cum but this time she wanted him inside her, to spill in her cunt and drip out of her like she’d fantasized about so many times before, so just as he started gasping and his hips started stuttering, she pulled back and left him hanging over the edge of climax.
“Ella–” He choked out as he felt the coil of pleasure that had been tensing and building up as he’d been buried deep in her mouth completely left him and all that was left was the uncomfortable feeling of a stolen orgasm.
“Wait, sweetness.” She said in an infuriatingly sweet tone, cupping his jaw as she stood beside the edge of the bed and kissing him softly before standing back up and saying, “I want to do something. Stay there.”
She turned on her heels and made her way to his walk-in closet, knowing she would be able to find something there if she were to look for it. But she'd only taken three steps into the room when she heard the movement back in his room. He had painfully sat himself on bed, back against the cold metal rods that formed his headboard, and he’d been debating whether or not to get himself off to relieve himself of the ache that washed over him when her voice hit him like a ton of bricks, a heavy demanding tone behind her words, “If you don’t listen to what I say, you’re not getting a single thing, Turner.”
Alex froze in his spot, his cock twitching at the dominating roll she was taking. He threw his head back and swallowed a groan. He hadn’t even cum and she’d already ruined him, there would never be another one but her.
He waited patiently, a minute passed and all he could hear were the drawers being opened and closed until he saw her come back into the bedroom with one of his ties on her right hand.
She smirked seeing him sitting in bed waiting for her. She cooed like it actually amazed her that he listened and got on the bed again, placing her knees on each side of his hips to straddle him. Her hand came up to cup his jaw and her thumb brushed soft circles on his skin before she praised him with a proud, “Good boy.”
She distracted him with a dizzying kiss, one that he indulged in with feverish eagerness until she pulled back and their lips separated with a smack, the sound was followed by her words which sounded more of a statement than a question, “I’m gonna tie you up, yeah?” He nodded quickly, his brain a mush and unable to even think about what it was that she wanted to do to him tied up to his headboard but he was willing to comply if it meant that she’d make him cum.
He didn’t even have time to complain or ask questions because her tits had been on his face while she tied his wrists avidly to the posts of the headboard and he’d been too busy biting and sucking on them.
She moaned when he caught one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked it. Despite the very nice distraction, she pulled on the knots she so expertly knew how to tie and grinned in satisfaction when seeing them hold his wrists perfectly for her.
Ella sat on his lap, feeling his cock still hard coming to touch her drenched cunt and brought her hand to his face when he hissed at the contact. “I know.” She said softly before kissing him softly and briefly. “Is this alright?” She needed to ask again, to make sure it wasn’t too much since she could see the way his eyes were glazed over with frustrated tears from the edging.
But Alex nodded with a loopy smile that she loved and all she could do was smirk, nothing but a mischievous look in her eyes.
A look that’d get a meaning when she spoke up again, “If you’re cumming anywhere today, it’s gonna be inside me, okay?”
Alex nodded despite the shock her words had given him, his mouth agape in surprise at her bluntness.
Her hand slowly crawled down his chest until she could wrap her fingers around his length, she watched with a parted mouth as he threw his head back at the contact and he muttered under his breath, “Fuck me…”
A bright grin broke on her face and she leaned in to lick his bottom lip before saying, “That’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”
Alex was left with his mouth parted in search of a kiss but oxygen left his lungs when she pulled back slightly to spit on his cock, her hand starting to pump him a handful of times before she lined him up with her sopping entrance. She knew it would be easy to sink into him with how wet she was and the mess she’d made of Alex.
Just to build on the last bits of anticipation, she brushed his cock up and down her cunt, shivering when he grazed her clit.
“Darling…” Alex breathed out in pain, hidden away in the crook of her neck as she teased his tip in her hole.
She hummed, acknowledging him and finally letting herself sink down on him. He tried his best to keep his eyes on her as her mouth went slack and a soft whimper left her at the stretch of his cock, but his gaze fell down to see where they connected and his eyes rolled back into his skull. He could just cum seeing himself buried balls deep inside her, snugging him so tightly and clenching around him as she slightly squirmed over him when adjusting her balance on her knees.
She cried out in pleasure right as she started moving, rolling her hips tentatively to set a starting pace. But she could barely get a hold of her own thoughts, all that went through her mind was how she could feel every ridge and vein, how he was making her brain melt inside her skull with the way he felt inside her, “Filling me up so good.”
Alex swore he was seeing stars with how she was squeezing him, how good she looked as her hips rolled with an increasing speed that would surely drive him to the edge in no time, “Fuck, you’re so tight–”
With every roll of her hips, her clit pressed against his pubic bone and offered her a delicious pressure that made her eyes roll back. Her gasps and moans got louder as she went faster and the melodies of their pleasured sounds turned into a pornographic harmony when Ella went from rolling her hips to bouncing on his cock.
Her tits bounced as she picked up the pace, her hands resting on his chest for leverage and her hair falling in front of her face as she leaned in and changed the angle slightly. Alex stared at Ella fucking herself on his cock and it was a scene that not even his dreams could amount to. Watching himself disappear inside her over and over, and feeling her slick dripping down his cock and making a mess of the bedsheets had him looking up at the ceiling for a few seconds, willing himself not to cum too fast, to last as long as he could so they could cum together.
“Is this how you imagined?” She teased.
“Better,” Alex swore, too gone to be anything but sincere. “You’re perfect. You’re– I couldn’t have made you up. I couldn’t have ever imagined– God, you’re everything I need, Ella.”
The sound of the skin slapping every time they met was loud so the shit she muttered under her breath was barely audible. Ella slowed down just a bit to stabilize herself with just her left hand on his chest, bringing her right hand up to his neck and wrapping her fingers deftly around it, “I’ve always wanted to do this with you.”
Her fingers pressed on the sides of his neck, choking him just the perfect way. Her ‘Pure Desire’ tattoo adorning his throat. It was a miracle how he didn’t cum from just her doing that, that lustful look on her face as she watched him gasp and choke on a whimper as her fingertips dug on the sides of his neck. It just made Alex want to fuck her harder, and it seemed like it had the same effect on her because she picked up her pace despite the burning of her thighs from the effort.
Alex met her in the middle with every bounce, thrusting his hips up into her and hitting the perfect spot for her. “Right there, right there! Alex!” She was growing breathless, barely able to pick her head up. She was starting to regret tying him up just a little, she wanted him to hold her and help her match his eager thrusts as she got closer to her orgasm.
Digging his heels on the mattress, Alex found the footing to quicken the pace, “Ella– fuck!” He groaned and moaned loudly, his mind reeling when his hearing was entirely overcome by the sounds of the skin slapping and Ella’s mewls and whines.
Ella gasped with every thrust, the coil in her lower stomach tightening impossibly each time he hit that sweet spot inside her and her grip on his neck got tighter as she clenched hard around him. Her legs started trembling more and more and then her orgasm hit her suddenly, blacking out her sight as she shook and spasmed on him, loud cries of his name accompanied the symphony.
Seeing Ella as she came again, hearing how she cried out his name and the way she squeezed his cock with her cunt, Alex came hard inside her. His thrusts became sloppy as he shivered and his cock twitched as he spilled and painted her walls with his cum. His hips stuttered as her tightness milked his cock relentlessly, but he still rocked his hips into her, meeting her slow messy pace as they both came down from their highs.
With her legs trembling, Ella just dropped against his chest, completely fucked off reality for a few minutes. All they could hear was each other’s breathing and their hearts beating in sync as their chests pressed against each other.
She wondered why Alex was keeping his touch away from her when she remembered she’d tied him up so she lifted her head up and brushed her hair back to reach out and undo his restraints with one pull of the end of the tie.
Alex groaned at the feeling of his arms plopping down beside his head, but he ignored the soreness of his limbs when he could finally brush her hair back from where it stuck to her sweaty face and cup her jaw to give her a sweet kiss he’d been craving to give her the whole time she was riding him.
Ella smiled into the kiss when she remembered all that had happened in a matter of a few minutes. She’d lost track of time entirely, not even able to point out how long it could’ve been since she’d showed up at his house to just tell him all that she’d been holding back.
The happiness that bubbled inside her filled her with warmth and a small burst of energy enough to have her peel herself off him to rest beside him in bed. She lifted herself off him and settled to his right with a soft whine at the loss of him. Alex turned to his side and cupped her face once more to give her a quick kiss before he pushed himself up and off the bed with a quick, “I’ll be right back darling.”
He got up and went to his ensuite to clean himself up, flashbacks of what had happened made his cock twitch again. He got a cloth and wet it with warm water, taking it with him to clean Ella up.
Her eyes lazily followed him as he came back into his room and up to her. His hands softly spread her legs out to clean up the mess in between her legs. His cum dripping out of her mixed with her own had Alex biting his bottom lip, a shaky breath out his nose before he cursed out loud, “Fuck me.” She whimpered at the touch of the cloth against her overstimulated center, and he kissed her softly as an apology, being careful to continue cleaning her up until she was rid of it all. He had made a mental note to stuff his cum back in her next time, see it dripping out of her over and over, fuck the cum inside her with his fingers or his cock.
Alex left to go back to the bathroom with that in mind, his blood rushing south again the more he imagined it all. When he went back to bed, he noticed Ella had thrown the ruined duvet on the floor and gotten under the sheets. And when he turned to see her, she made grabby hands at him. He chuckled at the contrast of her behavior throughout the night, but was quick to cuddle her into him.
They snuggled beneath the sheets, their legs tangling together as his arm snaked under her to wrap around her waist and holding her flush against him so she could rest her head on his chest. Throwing her arm across his middle to keep him close, Ella nuzzled her head into his chest and she melted against him.
With Alex rubbing circles on her waist, Ella was starting to fall asleep. It was still light outside, the sun still heating up the ground outside and the bright rays managing their way into the room through the thin curtains that covered the windows, but her eyes grew heavy and her breathing evened out as time passed.
That was until Alex sighed loudly out of the blue and cursed, “Well, fucking hell.”
Ella frowned, confused by his sudden choice of words, “What?”
But Alex had been replaying everything in his mind and he felt himself growing flustered and hotter the more he recalled, “You’re seriously asking what after that?”
She couldn’t help but blush, because how the fuck had she gone from crying and going on and on about how tired she was of silently wanting him yet losing him every time to riding his face, edging him twice to then tie him up and fuck the lights out of him.
So she hid her face behind her hands, not wanting Alex to see her face, which she knew had to be bright red.
“Oh don’t go all shy on me now, darling.” He played with her, a chuckle slipping past his lips. His fingers peeling her hands off her face, only to be followed by littering every bit of her face with kisses until she was giggling and cuddled back into him.
They laid there in silence, dropping sweet kisses and tracing patterns on each other’s skin. It was one of those comfortable silences that they’d developed ever since they grew back together during the recording of AM.
A silence that was shattered by Alex thinking out loud, “Now I know what it feels like…”
She snorted when hearing him trail off like that, because what would that even mean? He wasn’t a virgin. “Huh?” She frowned as she looked up at him, trying to hide her amusement by pursing her lips.
“To be that bull.” Alex simply stated, looking down at her with a growing smirk on his face.
She was even more confused then, “Bull? What bull?”
“The one from that pub when you broke the record.” He explained with an obvious tone in his voice.
Ella burst out laughing at the realization of what he was implying. As if her riding that mechanical bull for three minutes was anything near what they’d done just then. She shoved him by his shoulder, letting herself fall away from his hold still laughing, “Fucks sake Alex, you’re an idiot.”
He hooked his arms around her waist again and pulled her into him again, “What? Thought you were a proud cowgirl?”
But she shook her head in disbelief and hid in the crook of his neck, mumbling a halfhearted “Stop.” on his bruised skin.
“Nothing not to be proud of with how well you ride, darling.” The singer added, to which she pinched his side, making him jump and yelp aloud.
With a frown to conceal her amusement, Ella came out of her hiding place, narrowed eyes to help her threat resonate in his head, “I’m gagging you next time.”
Alex shook his head as he watched a smirk slowly breaking on her face, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”
Her gaze dropped to his lips, picturing them all wet and swollen, wrapped around a gag, leather belt wrapped around the back of his head and tight on the skin of his face. That was a view she certainly would appreciate, “I’d love it.”
Love. Alex smiled at the word, remembering he finally could tell her, “I love you.” and have her know exactly what he meant.
Ella’s heart was almost bursting at its seams when he said that, saying “I love you.” back to him was the easiest thing she could ever do.
Staring at each other adoringly, a minute or two passed. He twirled a strand of her hair slowly with his fingers, counting each freckle on her skin and taking in every bit of her in this new setting.
“How long have you been holding that back?” He asked curiously, wanting to know how long she’d been agonizingly waiting to let all those words out. His chest hurt when remembering her mentioning the pictures paparazzis had taken of him and Alexa and how she’d implied him going for Alexa just like he’d gone for Arielle two years before.
Ella genuinely asked back, “Wanting to fuck you?”
“No, you dickhead.” Alex replied with a cackle, his giggles falling right behind his words, making her giggle along until he could clarify, “Wanting to tell me you love me.”
“I was in denial for a while.” Ella admitted easily. There was no reason to not be entirely transparent with him anymore and she hoped he felt the same way as she continued, “But as soon as I saw you leave that morning… I was just entirely sure about it the second I woke up.”
He frowned, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
She scoffed softly when just considering how that would’ve happened, “Tell you that over the phone? No chance.” She was so glad it hadn’t been that way, because having him close after having told him everything felt so right and she knew she would’ve cried when he reciprocated and she couldn’t have him beside her right then and there.
Alex hummed, knowing what she meant, “I reckon if you’d told me when I was away, I would’ve cried not being able to kiss you right then and there.”
“Exactly.” Ella said, slightly wide eyes at the way it just felt like he’d read her mind. But before she could forget, she asked him, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
With an embarrassed smile on his face, Alex shyly replied, “I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same.”
She sighed, smiling at their own foolishness. Both of them were concerned about the same thing and instead of speaking about it, they kept it to themselves in fear of rejection as if their actions didn’t speak louder than their hushed words. “We’re such idiots.”
“We are.” Alex agreed with a grin on his face, leaning in until their noses brushed and giving her a eskimo kiss before slotting his lips between hers.
Her fingers delicately held his jaw as they kissed slowly, all that hunger had simmered down and turned into tenderness, wanting to feel each other as close as they could like becoming one was possible. There was no rush, the only priority was taking in every second their lips moved together, tasting each other’s tongues with patience and trying to translate their love into it.
“How long has it been for you?” Ella asked softly when she pulled away after a minute of slowly kissing, her thumb rubbing circles on his jaw.
Alex smirked when he knew what he could say about the very second he realized how he felt for Ella, “You wanna know who was there when I realized it all?”
Her curiosity was piqued by the weird approach of his answer, “Who?”
The last thing Ella was waiting for him to say was, “Alexa.”
A quick, “No.” in disbelief left her lips, Ella’s cheeks heating up at the fact that she’d been horrendously affected by her presence beside Alex on a picture when Alexa had been there the time Alex came to the conclusion that he was in love with her.
“Yes.” Alex continued smirking as he said, eager to see her reaction when he’d tell her just how it had happened. “Remember how we were on the phone at the wedding and she came by for a smoke?” Ella nodded, remembering that exact moment way too well for her liking, “You hung up and she just asked who you were. And once she asked, I couldn’t stop talking about you. She just listened and kept teasing me about it. I was gonna leave but then she asked why I hadn’t made a move, said something like ‘you really like her, don’t you?’ and it dawned on me; how I just couldn’t say I liked you because it wasn’t enough.”
Ella looked at him with teasing wide eyes and played, “‘Cause you love me.”
He hummed with a foolish grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, “Because I love you.”
Alex couldn’t help catching her mouth in a kiss again. Now that he could freely kiss her any time he wanted, there was no moment he wouldn’t be thinking of tasting her mouth and feeling her lips on his. She was all he needed to get drunk from.
He caught her bottom lip with his teeth before he could pull back from the kiss, tugging on her lip until she hummed in satisfaction at his action. Her pupils enlarged when he let go of her lip and looked at her in the eyes. She took it as the perfect opportunity to answer the question she thought he’d meant to ask at the start, “If I’m being honest, I’ve always wanted to fuck you.”
His mouth opened agape in slight shock, “Oi, you filthy bitch.” He called her out for the bluntness he would have to get used to without becoming speechless, but she’d caught him off guard and he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“What?!” She frowned and scoffed before calling him out, “Don’t even start, Turner. Not when I know that you were getting yourself off to my pictures.”
He played dumb very obviously, the inflection of his voice going up as he asked, “Who? Me?”
“Yeah, you. Pervert.” Ella narrowed her eyes as she joked, calling him out further by adding, “And whilst you had a girlfriend too!”
At the mention of that, Alex dropped his joking expression and sighed in regret as he got serious, “Don’t. I actually feel really bad about that. I had to break up with her because I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”
She’d always been curious as to why he’d broken up with Arielle all of the sudden so she gasped and looked for more answers, “Are you serious?”
He hummed, wincing as he recalled, “I called her your name one time and I just couldn’t continue in that relationship after that.”
Ella gasped horrified, “You didn’t Cornerstone poor Arielle to me!” She couldn’t believe him, barely being able to scold him with the way her jaw was on the floor in shock, “Alexander David Turner!”
“I’m sorry.” He apologized wholeheartedly.
Her eyes looked into his unwavering for a minute and when she remembered a certain piece of information she’d gotten all those months before, she slapped her hand over her mouth and a muffled, “Oh my god. No. No. No. No.” came from her.
Alex frowned in confusion, his eyes swimming all over her face searching for answers but she just kept her mouth agape in further shock behind her hand, “What?!”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Alex?!” Her hand went from covering her mouth to cover her eyes as she sighed, entirely appalled by it all.
“What?!” The singer asked again, he’d no idea why the look on her face and he was starting to worry.
She had to take a few seconds to gather her thoughts before letting him know, “She fucking called me, you know? After you broke up with her, saying how you’d had the best sex the night before you broke up with her. And he said you called her darling for the first time that night!”
Alex hissed when he heard that and he knew he’d just have to admit to his mistakes, “I did call her darling ‘cause I was picturing you but she didn’t hear me calling her Ellie when I came.”
Another gasp came from Ella, “Alex! For fucks sake!”
“I know, I felt horrible.” Alex admitted, regret written all over his face, “I really did. If it counts for anything.”
Ella shook her head in disbelief, “Alex, I took her out to the club to make her feel better when it was because of me all along?!”
But Alex wouldn’t let her take that blow when it had all been his actions that caused Arielle hurt, “It wasn’t your fault, love. That was all me.”
“Alexxxxxx.” Ella whined as she covered her face with her hands again but this time because she had no idea what to say anymore. She was starting to feel bad for that having happened to Arielle due to her own existence and of course, Alex’s lack of self control. But she felt even worse for the fact that her stomach flipped and she filled up with a strange feeling when knowing she’d made Alex a total and complete mess since that long ago.
“Stop it.” Alex chuckled and pulled her in closer to him but she shuffled away from him the more he pulled on her wrists, “Come here.”
She shook her head, still hidden behind her hands, “No. I’m angry at you.”
“Our first argument already?” Alex joked and Ella rolled her eyes because she could hear the smirk on his face just from the tone of his voice.
“Slight disagreement.” Ella corrected, making Alex cackle loudly.
“Right.” He snickered before pulling on her wrists again, “Don’t hide please.” If she wasn’t gonna let herself be pulled towards him, then he’d go to her. So he crawled over to where she was and hovered on top of her, leaning in to leave a kiss on top of her hands and whisper, “I love you.”
She huffed, dropping her hands from her face to show her frown and cross her arms over her chest, “No, don’t bribe me like that.”
But how could he not? He just couldn’t hold himself back from saying, “I love you.” followed by a kiss on the right side of her face. Another “Love you.” with a kiss to the left side of her face. And one last “Love you so much.” before catching her lips in an elongated peck.
Despite the fact that she’d gracefully accepted the peck, when Alex pulled back, Ella still kept a blank expression on her face and said a meek, “Sure.”
He frowned, “Darling.”
“Alex.” Ella said back with the same determined tone he’d used.
He huffed childishly, “No.”
She chatted back with a short and dry, “Yes.” A roll of her eyes added in to accentuate her annoyance at it all.
But all that did to Alex was make him bite his lip because she looked so fucking hot when she was like this. He didn’t even know if he ever wanted to see her angry, but if she looked hotter than this, then he wouldn’t be opposed to being the target or her wrath.
“God, I fucking love you.” Alex groaned before cupping her face with his hands and pouncing on her lips.
His tongue licked at her bottom lip instantly and despite the fact that she was trying to continue acting all annoyed, she parted her mouth and invited him to lick into her mouth with a sigh of bliss.
Just to make her facade of annoyance crumble, Alex started moaning and groaning into the kiss, making a show of becoming sloppier with it and then leaving her mouth to attack her neck with wet open mouthed kisses so quick that the brush of his lips tickled her and had her giggling.
He pulled away when he heard her laughter, a loopy grin on his face matching the one on hers. But one that fell when she caught his gaze and said, “Now you gotta answer.”
“Huh?” He let out when he couldn’t put a finger on what she meant.
She smirked, her hands slowly brushing up his chest until they were resting on his shoulders and her legs wrapping around his hips before she asked, “How long have you been wanting to fuck me?”
Feeling her the heels of her feet digging into his ass, he let himself fall over her, his cock hardening just at the faintest touch of her cunt. “Ages.” He replied, gasping when she rolled her hips and he felt the arousal already wetting her core.
“Is that right?” She teased, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.
He hummed, a rush of heat flooding his body and blood rushing down to his cock just by the hungry look that had taken over her face. Her green eyes became black as her pupils dilated with another roll of her hips. “And I’ll make up for lost time until the day I die.” He swore out loud, because he would and it would not be a hardship in the slightest.
She grinned proudly at his words, butterflies fluttering in her belly at the hint of him willing to give her all those years of his life, willing to share all that time with her, “Good boy.”
His cock twitched at the praise. She’d fucking ruined him for good. “Call me that again.”
Ella smirked at his request but had no problem with repeating herself. “My.” She started saying, accentuating each word with a kiss, “Good.” Kiss. “Fucking.” Kiss. “Boy.”
Smashing their lips together, a bruising kiss followed as their hips started rolling in sync. Alex was already growing hard against her, his erection pressing onto her mound and she was getting more and more turned on from the way he reacted to her and the desperation seeping through his pores.
Alex could feel her already drenched and he couldn’t help but bring his hand down to gather some of her arousal. Two of his fingers ran up her folds and he hissed into her mouth. When he looked down, he let his fingers sink into her hole and her wetness allowed for them to glide in easily. The singer cursed under his breath when he drew his fingers back and when he looked back up at her, she let her mouth hang open inviting him to push his fingers into her mouth, wanting a taste.
He pushed his digits past her lips and let them heavily weigh down on the tip of her tongue. She moaned and her eyes rolled back at her taste, swirling her tongue around them before fully sinking them onto her mouth and humming in satisfaction when tasting even more of her wetness.
His mouth fell agape as he took in the filthiness of the scene, “How did I get so lucky?”
Letting go of his fingers with a pop, Ella replied to his question with a passionate kiss. So messy and pointless for their teeth clashed and couldn’t stop gasping the more their hips rolled into each other’s. But Alex could taste her arousal on her tongue and it drove him mad. He wanted another taste, he needed it.
So he broke the kiss, a string of spit clinging between their wet lips, guiding his kisses down her jaw and neck, her chest and abdomen until he reached her mound. Ella shuddered feeling his hot breath growing closer and closer to her heat, a wave of pleasure making her hips rut on the bed.
Her cunt was glistening, inviting him to have a fucking feast. And that he did once he threw her legs over his shoulders and he laid flat on the bed. His tongue pressed flat against her cunt and started to lap eagerly up and down her folds. Her right hand flew to catch a hold of his hair while the other one came up to her chest, fingers kneading her own tits, pinching her nipples when he started flicking at her clit.
“F–fuck!” Ella cursed loudly when he sucked on her clit, her hips bucking quicker with every second that went by, her fingers abusing her pebbled nipples even more to intensify the pleasure his mouth was bringing her. “Alex, baby… Shit.”
He hummed with his lips wrapped around her clit, her back arching from the vibration reverberation all over her. Her toes curling and her mouth going slack when he pointed his tongue and started fucking her with it, moving his head in such a way that his nose was rubbing on her clit.
She fucking loved it. She hadn’t known how badly she’d wanted to feel that again until she did and now all she could think of was getting this every day for the rest of her life. “Mmmm, just like that.” She praised, her hips still meeting his movements and making her orgasm build up.
Alex looked up at her and the sight of her playing with her tits as he tongue fucked had him letting out a guttural groan and bucking his hips into the mattress. The friction that brought him made him whimper pathetically and once the whiny sound fell on Ella’s ears, she got louder.
He got more vocal then, humming and moaning as he lapped at her, flicked and sucked at her clit, pointed his tongue to tease her sopping hole; all of it over and over until her legs started shaking beside his head.
“Alex! Al– Fuck.” She messily let out in between gasps, “M’so close. Oh fuckkkkk.” She mewled when his tongue started flicking faster at her clit, her eyes screwed shut and her hand falling from her chest to claw at the sheets when she felt her orgasm approaching her rapidly.
With a yell of his name, she came on his tongue, coating it with the sweetness he was already addicted to. The wetness mixed with his spit dribbling down his chin as he tried his best to lap at every drop, not wanting to let any of it go to waste.
His hips started rutting faster against the mattress, the springs of his bed creaking as he went. The sound of it was the thing Ella first heard when she came down from her high, not knowing what it was until she looked down and saw Alex lapping at the arousal that had wet her inner thighs and his hips bucking relentlessly on the bed.
“I can’t get enough of the taste of you, darling,” he confessed, kissing her inner thigh. “I’m obsessed.”
Pulling on his hair, Ella peeled him away from her cunt and in between her panting as she tried catching her breath, she finally said, “Fuck me, Alex. I need you.” Even if she was spent, and she felt far too oversensitive, she couldn’t miss the chance of him filling her up again.
He couldn’t wait anymore so there was not a second to doubt nodding and giving into her wishes, he crawled up her body and pumped himself quickly before aligning his cock to her entrance. Pushing his hips forward slowly and sinking into her for the second time in the night, Alex swore that was exactly how heaven felt like. Her back arched off the mattress when he bottomed out, her legs wouldn’t stop shaking and she felt her eyes well up with tears at the stretch after having just cum.
A cry of his name blessed Alex’s ears at the same time he leaned in to groan onto her chest. “Fuck me, you feel so fucking perfect.” He praised as he tried to catch his breath, stilling inside her to give her time to adjust to his length again. She needed to relax again because if her cunt kept squeezing him like that, he wouldn’t last more than a minute.
Before he could start moving, he lifted her legs up slowly one by one until they were thrown over his shoulders, shuffling closer until the backs of her thighs were flush against his chest and he leaned into her, her knees coming closer to her chest and the new angle allowing for him to sink even deeper inside her.
“Oh my– Fuck!” She yelled at the stretch of this new angle that had him pressing into her g-spot perfectly. She shivered beneath him, hips struggling to stay in place when her body was screaming for him to start moving. She felt like she was about to explode. “Alex, Alex, move please.”
Alex started at a fairly quick pace, not being able to start slow because the angle in which he fucked her just made her squeeze his cock even tighter. Not that Ella wanted him slower, she could feel her second orgasm looming on her with force and she needed him to continue picking up his pace.
The claps of their skin filled up the room, along with her high pitched whimpers and his groans. Her head was thrown back, giving him full access to kiss and bite and suck the skin of her neck and when he did, it just made her pleasure increase tenfold.
“Al– harder. Please, harder.” Ella cried out, feeling herself about to fall over the edge, seeing stars behind her eyelids with every thrust.
“Aren’t you greedy?” Alex taunted but obliged, and with harder thrusts, it truly felt like he was fucking her into the matress, the springs creaking as it bounced from their movement.
“Yes! Don’t stop!” She yelled desperately, her orgasm building more intensely every time his pubic bone smacked against her clit, the pain turning into blinding pleasure that made her toes curl and her fingers pull harder on his hair.
Alex rested all of his weight on his left hand then, using his right hand to start rubbing her clit in quick motions to have her cum along with him because there was only so much longer he could hold and he was afraid he was getting closer and closer to his limit. “Are you gonna cum for me?”
She bit her lip, rolling her eyes. “If you keep– Just–”
“Gonna drench my cock, huh?” He nosed her neck, tickling her. “Gonna make a mess of it?”
“Yes!” And, true to her words, Ella came all over him, the stimulation from him hitting her g-spot and toying with her clit making her squirt all over him, drenching him and the sheets. And with that filthy sight Alex came right after her, his cum coating her walls as he continued pounding into her with messy thrusts.
“Fucking hell, you’re hot.”
The rhythm of his hips faltered as he continued riding out both of their climaxes, his finger slowing down on her clit until it stopped as she kept spasming around him. Her legs were shaking on his shoulders, so he let her let them down slowly after dropping a kiss on her calves and resting them on the bed.
Alex rubbed her thighs softly as he pulled out from her, hissing when he did just like Ella whined at the emptiness, wanting nothing but for him to be always inside her, he filled her up so good she thought she would soon become addicted to it.
He looked down at the mess on the sheets, his brain flashing the image of her squirting all over him as he watched his cum dripping out of her and staining the wet sheets. Alex groaned from the pits of his chest, hovering down over her again and mumbling against her lips, “I fucking adore you.”
She giggled, trying to see his face through half lidded eyes and hummed, “Adore you too.”
At the sight of her eyes closing, Alex got off the bed and swiftly carried her to the bathroom so they could get cleaned up. When he set her on the floor of his en-suite, she groaned loudly at the soreness of her legs and her cunt, Alex laughed in response.
Ella glared at him then, folding her arms as she watched him get towels from some shelves hidden in the corner of the room. “Don’t laugh, you’ve just folded me like a pretzel. I’m gonna be so sore.”
The comparison only made him laugh even harder and she pouted. “‘M sorry, but you enjoyed it.” He walked up to her and, after tossing the towels on a bench beside the glass doors that encased his shower, he enveloped her in a hug and dropped a sweet kiss on her lips.
He started walking towards the shower as they kissed, so she walked backwards until the cold glass made her hiss when it touched the warm skin of her back. He pulled back from the kiss and dropped two pecks on her before opening the glass door for them to get inside but when she turned, she managed to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
Ella scoffed, “Gonna have the best time covering these up, thanks Alex.” Her neck was covered in lovebites and so was her chest, and when she let her gaze fall down to her thighs, she found the darkening bruises littered inside of them.
He looked at her through the mirror coming to press himself against her back, his arms wrapping around her middle and dipping to leave a trail of kisses up her neck until he reached her ear and whispered, “Didn’t hear you complaining when I left them.”
She rolled her eyes at him trying to act like his tricks weren’t working but her walls clenched around nothing in response. “Shut up.” She said before peeling his arms off her and walking into the shower first. He was gonna be the death of her.
Alex walked in after her and pulled her into him again by wrapping an arm around her waist, their chests pressed flush against each other this time and making her throw her arms around his neck. “You love me.” The singer mumbled against her lips in a reminder, the smirk that broke on his face only pushing Ella to tease him back.
“Do I?” She quipped back, cocking her head to the side and putting on a pretty convincing confused expression on her face.
His eyes turned mischievous as he said, “You do.” and then flicked the shower on making her gasp when the cold water fell over them as they stood right beneath the wide shower head.
“You’re such a little shit.” She hissed through her teeth before pushing him off her softly. She really didn’t want him away because the water still fell on them cold but she had to commit to the bit.
The singer giggled as he stumbled backwards but came back up to her seconds later, wrapping an arm around her waist again and cupping her jaw, tilting her head slightly so he could kiss her. It stupidly felt like kissing under the rain and suddenly Ella couldn’t be more excited for every first kiss they’d share in the future.
“You still love me though.” Alex chatted back when he broke the kiss.
And despite the roll of her eyes, a smile won over her pursed lips and she agreed, “I do love you.”
Alex hummed, “And I love you.”
Soon enough the spray of water grew warmer and they started to clean themselves up. Alex grabbed the new bottle of shampoo he’d gotten and started washing Ella’s hair, massaging her head softly and making her moan as his fingers dug perfectly into scalp. When he rinsed the shampoo fully off her hair, she took over the task of washing his and he also was a moaning mess as she took her time massaging his head. They soaped each other up delicately and slightly teasingly, hissing when they would poke at a particular tender spot the other had sucked on their skin, smirking when they’d taunt each other with a frisky touch like when Alex groped her tits with the excuse of properly cleaning her up and when she let her fingers inch closer and closer to his cock as she soaped up his lower stomach.
When they came out of the shower, after Ella had made him fuck her first when he got hard at her tantalising touch, Alex wrapped her in a towel and left her to dry her hair with another one while he wrapped his own towel around his waist and went back out into his room to get some clothes for them to wear.
A few minutes later, Alex walked back into the bathroom in just a pair of joggers and one of his shirts and a pair of boxers in hand for her. He gave Ella the clothes and left her to take her time as he went back to his bedroom and picked up the duvet and the bedsheets to take to the wash.
It didn’t take him long to put the bedding in the washing machine and when he came back he melted at the sight of her wearing his shirt and boxers and brushing her wet hair with her fingers.
He stepped into the room, walking back to the shelves in the corner to take out a comb and a hair dryer. “C’mere, I’ll do it for you.” He waved her over to the marble counter where two sinks stood beside each other, and he tapped on the space in the middle for her to sit on while he took care of her hair
She walked over to him and sat where he told her, the marble cold against her bare thighs making goosebumps break along the skin of the legs. He stood between her legs, brushing from the ends of her hair upwards, making her get down to properly brush the back of her head. He then plugged the hair dryer and started drying her hair, his fingers tenderly combing through her hair as the warm air dried it.
When he was done, Alex was quick to give her a peck so that she would open her eyes which had fluttered closed at the feeling of his fingers raking through her hair.
“Thank you, darling.” Ella said with a fake British accent, trying her best to mock him but clearly failing when he frowned at her advances.
“You’re welcome, babe.” Alex replied, retaliating by putting on a fake American accent so high pitched it made Ella wince.
She scoffed, swatting at his chest softly, “I don’t sound like that at all!”
The singer just shrugged, wanting to wind her up, “Are you sure?”
“Dickhead.” She bit back with her eyes narrowed, making him let out a loud laugh before he pulled her into a tight embrace that ended with them sharing a sweet kiss.
With one last peck on her cheek after he separated their lips with a smack, Alex went and unplugged the hair dryer and put it back in its place along with the comb. Walking back to where Ella still stood, leaning on the marble of the sinks, and interlocked their fingers to walk back into the room.
Seeing the bed bare of bedding made Ella’s cheeks heat up, knowing that it was all her doing that the sheets were fully ruined to use tonight. Alex looked at her and smiled at her bright red face, pecking her lips before reminding her that it had been the hottest thing that he’d ever seen and suggesting taking the bedding from one of the guest rooms to get her out of her head.
Walking over to the guest room, Ella chuckled out loud remembering how he’d promised her a house tour and she was only getting it after she’d ruined his sheets, not because he’d promised.
“You still owe me that house tour, you know?” She taunted him with a grin on her face.
He turned to the side to look at her and giggled when realizing what was going through her head, “Tomorrow after breakfast, I promise.” She hummed, knowing she’d hold him up to that.
But at the mention of food, she openly admitted she was hungry and he said he was too. So they went back to his kitchen, hand in hand, and made themselves a fast sandwich that they practically devoured in minutes, along with a few talls glasses of water when they realized just how parched their activities had left them. They quickly put everything away in the dishwasher and continued their quest for the bedding.
When they opened the door to the guest room, Ella marveled at the look of it. It was California rustic and so pretty, the wallpaper and the wood used around the room combined beautifully and she realized then she hadn’t even had the chance to appreciate Alex’s room. Too caught up in trying to finally have him all to herself in the many ways she’d dreamed about.
She made a point to take in every detail of his room when they came back to it with their arms full of white bedding. Compliments came from her about what she’d seen of the house so far as they struggled to put on the fitted sheet, they laughed when they messed up the way it went and when the corners wouldn’t stay on as they perfectly placed them at first. The scene was so domestic, her heart grew in sizes inside her chest. How could she be feeling this rumble of butterflies in her stomach from just making a bed with him? She was utterly and completely fucked, and instead of scaring her anymore, it just felt right and she reveled in it.
Once they managed to tackle the fitted sheet, everything else came easier and as soon as the duvet was perfectly placed, Alex ran up to the window to pull down the blackout curtains and once that was done, the two of them gracefully disheveled the tidy way they’d made the bed to get under the sheets and finally cuddle each other until they could rest.
This time it was Alex who lay on top of her, the side of his face pressed over her chest where he was starting to fall asleep, being lulled by the steady beating of her heart and her nails scratching lightly at his scalp.
They’d been lying in silence for about ten minutes when Ella whispered, “Love?”
Alex smiled brightly with his eyes closed, his heart leaping from his chest hearing her using that pet name for him, “Hmm?”
“Which one’s your favorite?” She asked, still being intrigued about so many things they’d yet to talk about.
But it seemed that Alex didn’t really know what she was talking about for he lifted his head up slightly to press his face on her tits and motorboated her lazily for a few seconds before he mumbled, “Both of them.”
A loud cackle came from her, piercing through the silence in the room as she shook her head, “You’re such an idiot.”
“I’m not lying.” He wholeheartedly promised while coming back to rest the side of his face on her chest.
She hummed, a snort coming from her as she tried to contain her laughter and when she managed to keep it at bay, she actually clarified for him, “Okay, good to know. But I meant which of my pictures is your favorite.”
A soft, “Ohhhhh…” came from him in realization. She laughed just as loudly and then he peeled his eyes open to look up at her with a conflicted look on his face, “You can’t just make me pick one.”
“Well, I am.” Ella challenged him. She wanted him to list every single picture he’d gotten himself off to but for now she could go to sleep just knowing which was the one.
Despite him acting like it was despicable for her to make him choose one, coming up with an answer was as easy as the ticking of five seconds on the clock, “That one of you on the motorbike. The one where you’re wearing that silver bikini and your cowboy boots and that hat.”
She frowned, trying to think about which picture it was and when she remembered the frame she’d posted long ago, she gasped, “Really?”
He nodded, still looking up at her, “Yes. Wrote Arabella ‘cause of that one.”
“Of course you did.” Ella chuckled and rolled her eyes at him. She would’ve never realized that the ‘Barbarella silver swimsuit’ line actually had to do directly with her too and it wasn’t just another one of Alex’s witty lyrics.
“I did.” He confirmed, smiling proudly at her, “No regrets. Though you never said anything about that one.”
She frowned and scoffed at him like he was crazy, “What did you want me to say? I thought that one was about Arielle until I heard the bridge!”
He closed his mouth and let a few beats of silence pass when he knew her excuse was valid, “Oh, well…”
Ella actually giggled loudly at his response, a shake of her head in disbelief and she called him out for his audacity, “You’re so annoying.”
“You love me.” Alex countered with the statement that he knew she would never actually deny.
She hummed with a foolish smile breaking on her face as she confirmed, “I do.”
“Say it again.” Alex breathlessly pleaded, his fingers coming to take a hold of her chin as he craned his neck to lean in closer to her.
There would never be a day she would pass on the opportunity to tell him, “I love you.”
His heart soared hearing those words, devotion written on his face when he stared into her hazel green eyes and whispered back, “I love you.”
Their exhaustion was wearing them out already and the languidness of their movements translated into a lazy kiss. But what lacked in energy, compensated with the sheer amount of sincerity and intent, wanting to let the other know with every kiss just how much of a love fool they’d made each other.
When he pulled back, Ella leaned back in to drop a handful more chaste kisses on his lips and after the sixth one, she couldn’t help herself about asking another question that was poking at her curiosity intensely, “Which other ones are about me? Other than Snap, you made that very clear.”
“Fireside, Do I Wanna Know?, Stop the World.” He listed quickly, knowing just what was his train of thought behind every song he’d written about her. “I made I Wanna Be Yours into a song because I wanted you to get the hint.”
She offered him a sweet pout and cooed at him, “Awh, sweetness.”
“That worked out well, didn’t it?” He added with a lighthearted sarcastic tone.
But she shook her head because it had been her fault too, not picking up on the obvious signs, “Sorry, I’m just a bit dense sometimes.”
Yet, he wouldn’t have her blaming herself for it when he knew he should have just spoken up, “S’alright. I should’ve just told you.”
Just to tease him, Ella nodded and agreed, “You really should’ve.” As if she hadn’t been keeping it hidden for far too long too.
He shook his head and rolled his eyes in amusement before smiling brightly, “Nice to be able to say it now.”
She nodded, thinking nothing else would ever compare to the feeling that flooded her when he said he loved her for the first time and it only got better and better the more he repeated it. The peace that she felt when she let those three words out was just as good, “It’s relieving.”
“I love you.” Alex told her, his eyes taking in every detail of her face as it lit up when hearing those words.
Ella brought her hand up to his face to cup his jaw and reciprocate sweetly, “I love you.”
One more kiss was shared, another one of those teeth-rottingly cute ones that left each other dazed. The heat of their bodies beneath the covers was making it harder for Alex to stay up so he broke the kiss and mumbled against her lips, “Right, darling. Close those pretty eyes of yours and go to sleep yeah? Long day tomorrow.” She’d fully distracted him from cleaning up the house and getting it ready, nevermind for the party but he’d been planning on tidying everything up for when she’d come over, if he’d actually had the chance to prepare the candlelit dinner for her.
“Hmm right.” Ella whispered back.
It was hard to know if the fact that everyone else was coming over the very next day was gonna make her want to sleep as soon as possible, dreading the exhaustion that evening would bring, or if it was gonna make her nervous enough to keep her eyes open for far longer than necessary.
All because Alex started rubbing circles on the skin of her thigh just as he let his eyes flutter closed and wished her, “Sweet dreams, darling.”
Seeing Alex’s face starting to melt into a blissful stupor, she forced her eyes closed and wished him back, “Sweet dreams, my love.”
It was impossible for him to keep that stupid smile off his face when she called him that, “I like the sound of that.”
She giggled, her cheeks heating up again. “Go to sleep.” She called him out, trying to bite back her smile to push herself into her slumber.
With the dark behind their eyelids being the only thing they could see then, it was impressive the way they found each other’s lips again and shared one more quick and soft kiss before they could actually succumb to their exhaustion. The foolish grins on their faces stuck there until they fell deep in sleep, arms wrapped around each other and legs tangled to keep the other as close as possible, not wanting to let go anytime soon.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
The domesticity continued well into the following morning, after Alex woke Ella up with an attack of kisses all over her face which ended in them holding the other as they worked their ways to an orgasm, whispering sweet nothings and looking into each other’s eyes intently as pleasure washed over them.
Brushing their teeth together before changing the sheets yet again—this time bringing the freshly washed ones in Alex’s room and putting the one’s they’d borrowed from the guest room in the wash—, making breakfast together and getting comfortable on the settee to eat.
Ella’s legs were thrown over his lap and he was trying his best to keep one hand on her thigh, rubbing circles on her skin while they ate. The only sound that rumbled through the house was the consistent hum of the AC that kept the house cool, outside the sun was heating up the ground and the water that filled the pool; they broke the silence from time to time to hum when they had another bite of the scrambled eggs and sausage he’d made.
It was hard to imagine everything else was going by normally outside the walls of Alex’s house. It felt like they were stuck in their own little bubble and pure happiness simmered inside them, butterflies fluttering inside their stomachs and their smiles just stuck on their faces so their cheeks ached from how much they were smiling already despite it just barely being nine in the morning.
Alex already felt the need for this to be routine, for this to be his normal so with a soft squeeze to her bruised thigh, he let out, “I could get used to this, y’know.”
It was so easy to agree, when Ella felt so complete right there. Everything felt right, all worries had been stripped away from her and she felt light and carefree, like she was soaring and the only weight was the love that filled her heart and swelled it until it tripled in size. She hummed in agreement, “Mhmmm, me too.” But just to tease him, like she was growing to adore, she joked by tapping her fork on the almost empty plate, “This is so good.”
An eye roll was added there along with a soft moan so that she could emphasize how good she meant the food was and, even though she wasn’t lying, Alex still gasped aloud, mockingly insulted.
A string of giggles fell from her lips and she set the plate down on the coffee table next to her coffee cup to cup his face with both hands and promise, “I’m joking.” Ella pressed her lips over his, their eyes fluttering close at the feeling, and she pulled back softly after a few seconds to genuinely say, “This just feels so right.”
With a smile, he also set his plate down on the coffee table and settled back on the settee to look at her and admit, “You know, you actually beat me to it by a few hours.”
A soft frown appeared on her face as she brushed his hair back, “Beat you to it?”
He nodded and told her just what he’d been planning for her later that night, “Was gonna call you and invite you over for dinner. I’d bought some things earlier to make you your favorite pasta and a bunch of candles to set it all up outside by the pool.”
“Awh sweetness…” Ella cooed as she shuffled even closer to him, “You’re so fucking cute.”
Alex kissed the soft pout off her face and hummed into her mouth before pulling back and smirking, “It was gonna be really cute but then you surprised me instead.”
She shook her head in disbelief not only at the fact that she missed that but also of her own actions, “Can’t believe I ruined your cute little plan by barging in and going on a crying rant.”
But Alex couldn’t disagree more with her choice of words, “You didn’t ruin anything, darling.”
“It was...” Ella started, trailing off to think of a proper word to describe what that had been and when recalling it in her mind, she closed her eyes in painful embarrassment and concluded, “A whole mess.”
“Nah, I loved it.” Alex said wholeheartedly, cupping her jaw and rubbing soothing circles on her face to have her open her eyes, “Not seeing you cry though, that broke my heart.” Her words echoed inside his head and his brows furrowed as worry washed over his gaze, “Did you really think I was ever going for Alexa when I have you?”
She averted her gaze but she tutted softly and tilted her face so she’d look him in the eye again. Biting her tongue, she took a deep breath and her fingers fiddled with the hem of her shirt before she mumbled, “Well if you’d read that article and seen all the shit people keep saying online then you’d know how I felt.”
“What article, love?” He’d no clue what she was referring to and if he could see it and get a link to it so he could send it to his PR team, he would do it in a heartbeat and ask them to do their best to take the bloody thing down. “Show it to me.”
Silently, Ella nodded and left him with a kiss on the settee to get her phone. She found it with ease as it was saved in Breana’s chat, and she held her breath when it loaded and showed on her screen. The stupid fucking article that had made her miserable for days. She had herself to blame for that too but she couldn’t not when that was going around social media and people took it like gospel.
Ella bit on her thumb when she sat down next to Alex and offered him the phone opened on the article. She watched attentively as he started reading and taking in every way his pursed lips twitched and his brows lifted and furrowed.
A loud scoff came from him when he read that last sentence and he shook his head, closing the tab and setting Ella’s phone down on the coffee table. “Utter wank.” That was all he could describe it as. And to completely clear things up, he explained, “We were chatting about you that morning, actually.”
“What?”
Alex grabbed her ankles and threw her legs over his lap again, wrapping an arm around her waist to bring her as close as he could to him before he could add, “Like I told you yesterday, she was there when I realized I love you. So when she heard that we were in New York and had just played a festival, she texted me and we met up. We were walking around smoking and I told her about the house and moving here and wanting to tell you and she gave me loads of ideas about how to tell you, the candlelit dinner being one of them.”
Ella’s mouth fell open agape at the information. She couldn’t believe not only had Alexa been there when he realized he was in love with her, she had given him ideas on how to finally tell her.
Her cheeks tinted bright pink and she let her head fall on Alex’s shoulder. He felt her shake her head and sigh heavily, “Ugh, fuck. I feel so stupid.”
Alex shook his head and rubbed up and down her legs to soothe her, “It’s all the media's fault and all those chatting shit online.” He got angrier when recalling all the idiotic implications written on that page, “Dunno what the fuck they’re going on about Cookie’s wedding either. Just a bunch of bollocks, that.”
Ella hummed as she took in the way he reacted to what he’d just read, his look of disdain when reading each sentence was imprinted in her mind. In a moment of utter sincerity, she started explaining what had gone through her head when reading the article, “It really just made me feel the same as 2012 when you went for Arielle after our date and I–,” it was hard to compare because it was a very different situation but the ugly feeling that had flooded her system was just the same only amplified tenfold, “I thought the worse and I didn’t want to be left broken like back then so I started overwhelming myself to just anticipate what was coming.”
Alex’s hand coming to hold hers and intertwine their fingers coaxed her out of her mind and she looked up at him with a sorrowful smile. He kissed the back of her hand and she said the last thing she wanted to ever utter about the matter, the one thing that had been haunting her the most, “I think what freaked me out the most was that last line. I had no idea you were engaged to her.”
“Never was.” Alex wholeheartedly said while still holding tightly onto her hand, “It’s just one of them things people take out of context. Must’ve told someone I wanted to marry her back when we were together and they probably went straight to the tabloids to exaggerate it and make it a piece of hot gossip.”
A faint, pathetic “Oh,” fell from her lips. She couldn’t keep his gaze because she felt embarrassed, she almost pulled her hand back but his touch was soothing and it was all she needed as she added, “My head was spinning. I thought if I already had no chance in ever coming close to the Alexa Chung then the history between you would make it entirely impossible to compare.”
With a pull to her hand, Alex made her look up again and once he could see those gorgeous eyes of hers, he shook his head, “That’s so far from the truth, darling.” Grabbing her other hand, he pulled her towards him so she shuffled and changed the position of her legs, coming to straddle him.
He cupped her face with both hands, watching every detail on her face adoringly, taking one of his hands up to her hair so he could rake through it with his fingers as he said, “No one comes even close when compared to you, Ella. You’ve been all I could ever think about for a while. Just the thought of you drives me mad. I’m all yours, I’ve always been.”
Silence fell around them as they took in each other’s expression. His face shined with devotion and her worried frown had melted into complete infatuation.
Cupping his face with her hands and softly rubbing circles on his jaw, she quietly asked, “Mine?”
“Yours.” Alex smiled brightly, an almost imperceptible nod made her fingers hold onto him the tiniest bit together.
It was as true a statement as her declaring, “I love you.”
And he knew. He felt it just the same, his heart beating in the same erratic pattern as hers, “I love you so much darling.”
She leaned in closer to him, breaths mixing together and their parted mouths ready to slot together and make the distance disappear between them, “I’m yours too, you know.”
His throat dried up at her words, it would take him time to realize this was actually real and not one of those dreams he had felt too crazy to lose himself in before.
“And for that I’m the luckiest man alive.”
They met in the middle to share yet another kiss that only assured for them to continue getting addicted to the taste of each other’s mouth. It was soft at first, deliberate and full of intent, but when his tongue brushed her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to welcome him in, it grew hungry and needy.
It was more than clear that they only had a few days to enjoy their bliss before he had to go on tour again. He’d shown her the schedule while they made breakfast and they knew once he left on the 2nd to tour festivals in Europe, they wouldn’t be able to see each other until he came back for three shows in different cities in California in August. And then he’d be off again. So it would be a little over a month that they’d be away from each other, and those three days they’d get would go by way faster than they’d need. It was just how time always treated them.
Therefore, they knew to take advantage of every minute they got with each other. To drink it all in and not take it for granted, to indulge in it all.
So it wasn’t surprising when his hands came to rest on her hips and he pressed her flush against his hips, he was already hard for her. A needy whine fell from her lips at the friction, his breath hitched in his throat when she rolled her hips, keeping her gaze on his to watch his face contorted in pleasure.
Alex threw his head back and rolled his eyes, “This is what you do to me.” Struggling to pick his head back up, he grabbed one of her hands and guided it between their bodies so her fingers could wrap over the bulge tenting his joggers. She squeezed softly and a groan rumbled through his chest, “One look at you and I’m fucking ruined.”
Her tongue poked between her lips to wet them as she looked down and continued stroking him through his clothes. Alex took in the view, her mouth agape and almost watering at the outline of his cock pressing against his joggers, her hand moving on him now more confidently as he tried swallowing his whimpers, her bruised thighs spread open and on each side of his legs.
“I mean, look at you.” He said raggedly, struggling to catch his breath. “Fuck.”
When Ella looked back up at him, she took in the way his chest flushed. He was still shirtless, and she’d been smirking all morning, shamelessly gawking at him. But now the pink hue his skin was turning contrasted with the dark red bruises she’d left on him the night before.
His breath grew heavier when she leaned in and kissed over the big bruise that adorned that sweet spot on the base of his throat, “Did a good job,” she said before licking up the side of his neck until she reached his earlobe, she bit it and tugged, letting it free after a pathetic whimper stumbled through his lips.
She leaned back slightly and stopped the movement of her hand on his cock, making him cry out at the loss of her consistent touch building on his pleasure.
Smirking, she whispered in his ear, “Wanna write my name all over you.”
Alex shuddered when her breath fanned on his skin as she made her way down his neck, only to start her abuse on his skin all over again, finding patches of pale skin in between the bruises that she felt the need to fix.
His hips bucked upwards when she bit on a bruise, the pain rippling through his body and turning it into eye watering pleasure that had him a mess of whispered profanities and her name as she went.
A broken moan came from him when she finished sucking a bruise over his heart and went straight back to dig her teeth on a patch of tender skin. “Awh baby.” Ella cooed when she straightened up and looked at his tear glazed eyes, “You okay? Want me to stop?”
She had started lifting herself off his lap when he shook his head eagerly, “No. Don’t.”
Alex pulled her back down on his lap, this time so her cunt was right over his hard length and she moaned when he used his firm hold to guide her into rolling her hips over him and his cock brushed her clit.
His brows furrowed in pleasure, a moan stuck on his throat, he managed out a shaky, “I need you.”
And Ella needed him too. She was wet and throbbing for him already, clenching around nothing and all she could think of was how good he stretched her out. She needed him inside her again. But she couldn’t help herself, pouncing on his lips with lust and an animalistic need that made her rock her hips at a quickening pace over him.
When his mouth went slack and he couldn’t kiss her back anymore, she took it as the cue to get off his lap and quickly undress. His shirt she’d been wearing was thrown behind the settee and the boxers she’d borrowed quickly followed.
Completely naked, Ella came to straddle him again. Alex’s hands fell on her waist and slowly trailed up until he could cup her breasts, fingers pinching each nipple and mouth parting in a silent gasp when her hands fell on his shoulders and she started rolling her drenched cunt over his clothed bulge.
“You’re gonna be the end of me.” Alex swore under his breath, her wetness already ruining his joggers. He could feel his own precum leaking and aiding in wetting the fabric along with her own slick.
Ella hummed, stopping her tantalizing movements to lift herself up and off his lap, enough for her to pull down the waistband of his joggers and his hard cock to spring out and brush against his lower stomach. They didn’t even think of getting them off him fully, halfway down his thighs was enough for them to carry on.
Her mouth watered at the sight, the hairs of his happy trail being wet by the salty arousal that leaked out of his tip. With nimble fingers, she grabbed his length and pumped him. Once, twice. Fuck. He was heavy, swollen in her hand.
Her thumb swiped the precum off him and brought it up to her mouth, sucking devotedly to memorize every detail of him.
How he shivered beneath her, how he tasted on her tongue, how he dug his nails in her skin to silently beg her to hold him again, how he looked as he panted and tried his best to go along the pace she set, the aroma of sex already lingering in the air surrounding them.
Every one of her senses was completely overcome by him, and she greedily wished for it to remain the same until she took her last breath.
“And you’ll be mine.” Ella reciprocated, hand coming down between their bodies to wrap around his cock again. No more time to waste anymore when the need for each other started to morph into an ache.
She took him and rubbed him up and down her folds, reveling in the way his face fell at the contact with her sopping cunt. The tip of his cock teased her entrance, and she concluded, “What a way to fucking go,” as she sank down on him.
Words struggled to come out of his mouth the more she swallowed him whole, “I love you–,” he started to say, just wanting to praise her for how good she was to him, how well she took him, but his thoughts melted into the puddle of pleasure she brought him and all he could do was curse under his breath when he bottomed out, “Oh fuck.”
Catching her breath with shallow inhales, Ella pressed her forehead against his and their lips brushed as she sighed, “All mine. Only mine.”
Their eyes rolled into the back of their skulls when she started rolling her hips, the angle heavenly and making them a mess of moans and whimpers.
“Feels so good baby.” Alex praised, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her as close as possible. Her pebbled nipples rubbing against his chest, his senses going haywire. Ella, Ella, Ella. It was just her, all his mind knew. His heart, body and soul shared the same knowledge. “You’re a fucking dream.”
She hummed, he felt so good inside her. Every roll of her hips meant his cock nudged against that spot inside her that drove her mad, and her clit pressed on him deliciously. She was delirious from the pleasure, “Love– fuckkkk. Love you.”
Stilling for one second, she stabilized on her knees and started moving up and down on his cock. The friction of him dragging in and out of her velvety walls made them gasp, she was making a mess of him.
A high pitched moan fell from her lips, straight into his open mouth when one of his hands smacked harshly against her ass. The sting of the spank dwindling into white heat that only made her mewl louder when she bounced back down on his cock.
“Again, please.”
Her wishes were his command, so he did it again. Reveling in the feeling of her walls clenching around him with every hit. Because she kept asking for more and more, her breaths growing shallow, her cries of pleasure getting louder and louder. He was sure he’d see the red print of his hand there with how hard and often he was spanking her.
His fingers dug harshly in the tender flesh of her ass, helping her glide up and down his cock. He looked down to watch how easy it was for her to take him over and over, “So good to me, darling. Fucking made for my cock, weren’t you?”
“Yes.” She gasped out in agreement, they fit together like the pieces of a puzzle. A delicious, brain-melting, toe-curling puzzle that brought her closer and closer to the edge.
Her hips got faster, thighs burning from the effort but she wasn’t relenting, not when she felt that coil in her lower stomach tightening with every stroke. The slaps of their slick covered skin meeting made her smirk, “We’re gonna make a mess here.”
The image of her squirting all over him the night before flashed through his mind, a guttural moan coming from him at the possibility of it happening again, “I don’t care.”
“Already wanna ruin your new furniture?” Ella giggled breathlessly.
He nodded, biting his bottom lip to muffle a loud moan when she picked up her pace. He was gonna spill inside her any second now if he didn’t focus on holding out until she could cum with him. His words came out strangled by the effort, “I’ll ruin every inch of this house with you.”
“Yeah? What are we ruining baby?” Her voice was molten lust that washed all over him, fingers digging harder into her flesh.
Every scene played in his mind like a film, his mouth moved quickly with each frame, “Gonna bend you over the kitchen counter, have you make a mess all over the marble. Have a feast of this sweet cunt on the dinner table. You’re gonna see how well you take it when I fuck you in front of that mirror in my room.” She dipped her face to suck a bruise on the skin right below his ear, “We– Oh fuckkkk…”
With those plush wet lips of hers she stole his thoughts, making him crumble into a blubbering mess as she marked him up.
She let go of the patch of skin with a pop, licking over it with her eager tongue. “Yeah? Promise?” She whined, needy and begging for him to already make all that reality.
“Promise baby.” He moaned in response, “Ella… Shit.” He couldn’t hold out any longer, he was so close and he knew she was too with the way her legs started trembling. He needed her to cum with him and to drench him again so he brought a hand down in between them and started rubbing quick circles on her clit.
A broken gasp fell from her mouth, he swallowed it with a quick wet kiss but she caught his wrist and pulled his hand away. “Don’t.” She knew exactly what he was trying to do. “We can’t just throw your settee in the washing machine.”
He was about to complain but those fucking hips of hers wouldn’t relent and he was losing grasp around reality and any sort of logic. His need for release took over and pressing a hand down on the settee while the other still clutched her tightly to his chest, he started bucking his hips up, every thrust more determined, meeting in the middle as she fucked herself on his cock.
“Shit, yes! Keep– Ohh!” Ella couldn’t even properly speak, she was almost drooling from how fucking good it felt, how fucking well he slammed his hips up into hers. One arm wrapped around his neck and the other making sure to keep a good grip on the back of the settee, she mewled into his mouth, “Like that. Like that. M’so close baby.”
“Cum with me darling.” Alex struggled to say, his words strained as he got closer and closer to his climax. His thighs started trembling but he did his best to continue, cursing as it took all of him not to stop, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
Her legs shook beside his hips, her hips stuttered as she tried to continue riding him. Panting into each other’s mouths, they came. Crying out each other’s name, holding onto the other for dear life as their minds went blank and their sight was overcome by nothingness except for the feeling of him twitching inside her and coating her walls with his cum.
Sloppily, they rode out their highs until Alex slumped back down on the settee with Ella, almost dead weight on top of him. Their heavy breaths sounded like blissful sighs with every exhale.
It was an unearthly feeling to have this all with each other at last. So fucking perfect, they weren’t fully conviced this wasn’t a dream.
Ella giggled when she opened her eyes and found him blissed out, eyes closed and trying to gather his bearings, “Mmm, that was so good.” Not only was the sex amazing, she felt fulfilled in every possible way, her soul was vibrating with joy. She felt whole.
“Match made in heaven.” Alex finally opened his eyes as he stated, wholeheartedly. He could fucking write it on stone.
With a raise of her brows, she teased, “Doubt this scene is anything worthy of holiness, sweets.”
Alex shook his head and took his time to look her up and down, his cock twitching inside her when seeing himself still buried deep inside her and their slick covered thighs. Her chest was flushed and heaving still, all those bruises looming on her made his mouth water as well as those tits of hers that he couldn’t help but cup softly. She looked at him expectantly with the prettiest smirk he’d ever seen, like she was trying not to show her amusement at the way her body had him hypnotized.
With that view, it was so easy for him to confirm, “Nothing’s near as divine as you are, love.”
She snorted out a laugh and shook her head, brushing the strands of hair that stuck to his sweaty forehead, “I’d say you’re just saying that to get lucky tonight but you’re balls deep inside me and I can already feel your cum dripping out of me.”
He laughed with her and stole a quick kiss that she delved in for a few seconds, breaking it to lift herself up and off him to clean themselves up before it all dripped and stained the settee. But her legs shook intensely and she wasn’t able to even hover above him enough for him to pull out.
With a kiss on her cheek, Alex mumbled, “I got you,” before he carefully stood up as he held her with one arm. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and held on so he could stand up without her slipping off his hold.
Step by step, slow and steady, he carried her and took her to the bathroom, there he carefully got inside the glass doors that surrounded the shower and carefully lifted her up and off him, and onto the floor.
Ella knew right then that every shower she took after he left would be lonely when she didn’t have him massaging her shoulders and her scalp, or when he wasn’t giggling with her as she molded his shampooed hair into odd hairstyles. She would miss the kisses he dropped on her face and her shoulders as the water rained over them, and how he’d intertwine their fingers when walking out of the shower.
“Our coffee is definitely cold by now.” Ella joked when he was plugging the blow dryer to help with her wet hair like he’d done the night before. She half wanted to put on her best puppy eyes and beg him to cancel so they could just go back to bed and cuddle instead of actually setting everything up to be ready for when everyone was meant to come around.
With a fresh set of sheets that they’d just taken out of the dryer, they took on making the guest room’s bed again as their first task. It felt easier this time, and even through the novelty of the scene, Ella felt content and fulfilled like she did when she was at home doing something she’d been doing her whole life. It felt so familiar and just right, her heart swelled in her chest.
When they went out to the back, Ella gasped at the sight of the pool. She could see the blue water catching the sun rays and glimmering beautifully against the pink tiles of the walls of the pool.
She had laughed when Alex ran back inside to bring out a box in which there was a High Green sign just like the one Matt had gotten and put up on the back of his house. Of course, Ella helped Alex put it up and they proudly appreciated how it looked against the tan paint that coated the walls of the house.
There was a big table outside surrounded by a handful of chairs that they moved to the left hand side of the sliding glass doors that gave way into the patio so Alex could set up the food there outside. Thankfully, the pool chairs were perfectly placed around one side of the pool, making the rest of the patio look spacious enough to house the amount of people Alex had invited.
But before they could cheer about having done everything rather quickly, and run back to his bedroom to do fuck all before they needed to get ready, Ella realized she’d come very much unprepared to Alex’s house. She was wearing a new set of his clothes, because hers had been the same she’d been wearing the previous day at work and long forgotten in a corner of his room.
It was about noon when she managed to peel herself off a clingy Alex who was trying to convince her to use one of his shirts and the same shorts she’d been wearing on Friday, but Ella had reminded him of the amount of love bites he’d left on her skin and how she would still need her makeup to cover it if she wasn’t gonna use something with more coverage than her jeans and one of his shirts.
Alex huffed but managed to make a deal with her, one that he didn’t really need to push hard at all for her to accept. There was no way in hell she’d pass on the opportunity of staying over and staying with him every single day until he had to leave.
Ella made it to her house in record time, considering the Saturday traffic and all, and she’d packed everything up in a rush. Her makeup, toiletries, whichever clothes she saw first and deemed okay—she’d gotten annoyed remembering she needed to go to work the last three days Alex had in LA, so she grabbed a handful of clothes to wear to the office—, her camera, underwear and those lingerie sets Katie had convinced her to buy back in April, as well as some things that she quickly plucked out of that fun little box she kept in the back of her wardrobe.
When she came back, Alex had already set all the drinks out on the kitchen island along with glasses for everyone to use. There were so many bottles, Ella actually didn’t know what to expect of the night but she smiled knowing they’d have a nice time.
On the kitchen counter laid many different containers with food: fruit bowls, charcuterie boards, loads of dips for the many crisps Alex had bought, a variety of precisely cut veggies to be dipped as well, brownies and cookies, cheese and crackers, bacon wrapped grilled shrimp, sushi rolls.
Ella’s mouth watered at the sight and she was about to steal a bite of the shrimp when Alex walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, “I ordered us some actual food and it’s on its way.”
She smiled and turned in his hold, cupping his face and leaning in to mumble against his lips, “You just know the way to my heart don’t you, Turner?”
By the time the doorbell rang to announce the food was there, Ella had just finished setting her makeup bag and toiletries beside one of the sinks in his bathroom, her clothes were still inside her little carry-on case which Alex had brought into his walk-in closet the second they got to his room.
After eating the lovely chinese food he’d ordered, they made their way back to Alex’s room and he watched attentively as she started getting ready by doing her hair. His eyes followed every move of her hands and the way her lips pursed in concentration when she loosely curled strand after strand of hair until it looked voluminous and shiny. He grew more and more entranced as she put half of it up in a little bun and the rest brushed over her shoulders.
Ella dropped a kiss on his lips when she unplugged her curling iron and walked back into the walk-in closet to get the dress she’d chosen for the evening.
Since she couldn’t really show off her chest or her thighs thanks to the bruises Alex had sucked onto her skin, Ella had chosen a high neck, criss crossed back, long knitted black dress. It covered her whole chest and legs so she only had to worry about covering the love bites on her neck with lots of concealer and a heavy hand of translucent powder.
When Ella walked back into the room with the dress already on, Alex commented how rude it had been of her to change in another room. She’d laughed about it, deeming needy and horny, but he’d nodded and hugged her by the waist only to throw her onto bed and kiss all over her face. She couldn’t even fight the loving attack because if thrashed around too much, she’d ruin her hair entirely and she couldn’t be arsed to start working on it again.
Alex and his puppy eyes, and those lips she couldn’t resist, managed to convince her to cuddle him and kiss him for a few minutes before she could start doing her makeup.
Ella might’ve acted annoyed when she had been able to stand up and felt her hair all crazy, but she was more than happy when seeing him like that. Knowing that he just couldn’t get enough of her filled her insides with warmth.
Like a lost puppy, Alex followed her to the bathroom and he leaned against the door frame while watching her start working whatever magic she did with her makeup on her neck. He was all entranced, fully smitten and eyes glimmering with adoration, watching as she carefully applied products to her face and neck that he had no idea how they worked but she used in a way that just enhanced her beauty and completely hid away all the darkening bruises on her skin.
“Aren’t you gonna go get ready, sweets?” She asked softly, heavily focused on not messing up her eyeshadow as she applied mascara to her lashes, “You’ve been staring at me this whole time and you’re not even ready.”
He hummed, pushing himself off the door frame and walking slowly up to her, giving her time to put her mascara down and check on the mirror that it was alright.
“You’re so gorgeous, darling. I can’t stop looking at you.” He said as he hugged her from behind, kissing the side of her neck a handful of times before looking at her in the eye through the mirror, “Can’t blame me for getting distracted when this is my view.”
He watched as she rolled her eyes and her cheeks tinted even more pink than they already were from the powder blush she’d applied on the apples of her cheeks, “So smooth, Alexander.”
Tapping the backs of his hands softly which were resting on her waist, she waited for him to loosen his hold so she could turn around and rake her fingers through his hair, “Go change so I know if I need to cover up your neck or not.”
Looking up to see his own reflection in the mirror, he nodded knowing that she was right, and she’d taken most of her time covering her neck up than actually putting makeup on her face. So with a quick kiss, he dashed to his wardrobe and chose a simple outfit, a short sleeve red shirt that he made sure to button up as much as he could without feeling uncomfortable and black jeans.
She praised his speed when he came back to her all ready for the evening, and she waved him over towards her so she could cover up the hints of bruises that showed over the collar of his shirt. Her touch had made him melt under her fingertips, he kept letting out soft moans when she grabbed onto his neck to keep him steady as she blended the concealer to cover everything as best as she could.
Alex giggled when she pressed her brush over his neck after she dipped it in the translucent powder, and while she’d tried her best not to laugh, she couldn’t hold in her own giggles when he acted like a child being tickled.
“Can you not gel your hair tonight?” Ella fluttered her lashes as she asked, a soft pout on her lips that she’d painted a natural mauve color with some lipstick she had in her bag. He nodded, rolling his eyes like it was a burden to go along with what she was asking for. She poked his ribs and he jumped, making her cackle loudly before he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder to go back into the bedroom and throw her on the bed.
Ella knew what he was about to do so she clutched onto his wrists and held them away from her, “Don’t tickle me babe, I’m gonna mess my hair up.” And just because he’d seen how much time and effort it had taken, he nodded and leaned in to press a kiss on her lips and then moved to lay on bed, beside her.
Laying on his side, pressing his elbow on the mattress and his chin on the palm of his hand, he looked down at her lying on her back right next to him. She grabbed his free hand and started playing with his fingers, kissing each pad of his fingers and then making a fist to kiss each knuckle, finishing up by kissing the back of his hand and then opening it up to kiss his palm.
Once she was done with her kisses, she intertwined their fingers and Alex swore he could cry at her tenderness.
“Do you think they’ll know if we don’t tell them?” Alex asked after a few moments of silence.
“Breana might.” Ella knew her best friend would be suspicious about it since she’d been blowing up her phone earlier in the day and the director hadn’t known how to reply to her messages without lying so she just left them unopened. “She was the one who convinced me to tell you already, I was gonna wait ‘til today to see if you actually were gonna get with Alexa.”
The singer kissed his teeth and shook his head softly, “You silly thing.”
“I know.” Ella let out a breathy chuckle at her own stupidity, but changed the subject back to the main question, “Think it’d be fun to hide it for as long as we can and see if they suspect anything.”
He frowned, “But I wanna kiss you.”
“Me too but it’ll be fun.” Ella admitted with ease, and when she remembered something she had yet to tell him, she smirked, “And if you’re good, I’ll give you a reward.”
At that, Alex perked up: his eyes widened a little and his brows rose up on his face. He watched as her pupils dilated right before she cryptically explained, “Brought some things with me from home.”
Pure seduction was written on her face when she licked her lips and her teeth sank on her bottom lip, and that was enough to know exactly what she meant by it. “You can’t just say that to me right now.” He groaned, letting his head hang until it fell over her chest. He picked his head up in a second when her chest shook with laughter, “I swear I’ll call everyone and cancel, I don’t fucking care.”
She pursed her lips and shook her head, “Patience is a virtue.”
“But–“
“No buts. Thought you were gonna be good and listen.” She raised a brow in challenge.
Alex huffed at her clear invitation to defy her and see what that would bring, but he bit his tongue and went along with her game, “Alright, I’ll listen.”
Completely satisfied with his response, she smirked proudly again, “I know you will.”
The doorbell ringing startled them out of their bubble, Alex rose to his feet and pulled Ella up to stand with him by the hand he was still holding. Through the peephole, he managed to see a few of his friends and he opened the door with a smile, not letting go of Ella’s hand even under the questioning eyes.
Alex introduced them to Ella and she brightly smiled at them and reciprocated their niceties. She was trying not to chuckle at how hard it had been for Alex not to introduce her as his girlfriend, his awkward silence after saying her name out loud was comical. And it kept happening with each person that came through the door that he introduced to her, all of them expecting the title to be said after Alex lingered on his words instead of sounding resolute.
He was so cute.
Around five in the afternoon was when Jamie and Katie showed up, and at the sight of the first couple of the group to arrive, the pressure to keep their secret under wraps fell heavily on their shoulders.
It only got worse when Nick and Kelly got there and they asked when was it that Ella had gotten there and she’d struggled to answer; Alex had aided her by saying she’d gotten there early to help him around setting everything up and once that was out, Kelly was too focused on scolding Alex for not letting them know he needed help instead of lingering on Ella’s mishap.
Ella was probably on her second glass of wine when Miles came knocking on the front door. Alex had been knee deep in a conversation with Nick and some guy they knew from the city, and the music that came from the speakers he’d set up outside was a little too loud so he didn’t hear the doorbell ringing. Therefore, Ella was the one to go up to the front door and open it. In a blink of a second she was being squeezed tightly by Miles’ arms, swaying side to side and panicking about spilling her wine on Alex’s brand new wooden floorboards.
The scouser didn’t let her stray away from him for a second, not even when he went right into the kitchen and got himself a drink, topping off Ella’s until she squeaked at how much wine he wanted her to ingest.
When Ella walked out with Miles in hand, Alex raised his brows in amusement and excused himself from the conversation he’d been in. Only when Alex went for a hug did Miles let go of Ella and Alex laughed over the scouser’s shoulder when Ella sighed in relief. Still, even then, it seemed like Miles had been suffering withdrawals of their presence for he took the both of them around the party with him to greet everyone and start conversations.
There were no complaints to have though, Miles was a joker and he never failed at making Ella spill tears from how hard she’d laugh at the shit he’d say.
He was so distracting with his jokes and comments that Ella didn’t notice she’d drank her almost full glass of wine in just twenty minutes so she went back inside to get herself a drink of water and then a refill of her wine. Alex followed her inside and no one questioned it, it wasn’t like they didn’t behave like that all the time.
The singer smirked when seeing Ella taking sips of a glass of water as she leaned on her ass on the side of the kitchen island. He walked slowly towards her and caged her in her place by leaving his glass on the marble and placing each hand over the surface of it on each side of her hips.
She put her glass down behind her, lipstick stain on the rim of the glass that had him licking his lips in hunger. After having his mouth on her for twenty four hours, spending almost two hours now without kissing her once was agonizing. He was craving the feeling of her lips on his and he didn’t care if anyone could walk back into the house and find them.
But just as Alex was leaning in, the doorbell rang again and he slumped against her with a sorrowful sigh. A mocking laugh fell from her lips, she was enjoying seeing him slowly crumble away with need. It was hard for her too, lord knew she’d been itching to have her lips all over him for hours now, but it was funny seeing him suffer like that, so obvious.
Pressing her hands on his shoulders, she cocked her head and in an obnoxiously chipper tone, she instructed, “Go on. Be a good host.”
He wouldn’t let her have the pleasure of watching as he struggled to properly greet someone else, so he grabbed her wrist and pulled her along towards the front door.
The second the door opened, Alex and Ella’s faces lit up at the sight of who was standing there. “Zack!” They both said at the same time, but the photographer wasn’t alone and the stunning woman beside him smiled brightly at them as Zackery introduced her as Lola.
“Lola, nice to meet you, I’m Alex,” the singer said with that charming smile of his, turning to his side to add, “And this is Ella…”
Once again, Alex trailed off awkwardly and Zack knew exactly what was going on. He chuckled and added for Alex, “His girlfriend. Finally!”
Alex’s face fell, “How–”
Ella couldn’t help cackling at how naive he was toward his own failure at concealing the news, “Baby, you haven’t exactly been subtle about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if half the people you’ve introduced me to know I’m your girlfriend too.” She watched as Alex cocked his head, slightly embarrassed, so she turned to the photographer and pointed at him to warn, “But don’t tell anyone, Zack. We're trying to see how long it takes the lads and the girls to notice.”
“Are they all here yet?” Zack asked, enthused to introduce Lola to everyone. They’d only properly met a month before—he’d worked with her on a shoot about a year and a half before and they realized they had friends in common but their schedules never aligned—and gone on about three dates but he had a good feeling about her and he felt the need to introduce her into the friendship group as soon as possible.
Alex nodded, “Just Matt and Bre missing.”
“Right.” Zack shook his head, not surprised at all that the couple who lived closest was late.
But before the photographer could go on, Ella grabbed Lola’s hand and with a smile she said, “I’ll steal this gorgeous lady from you and I’m gonna introduce her to the girls!”
Katie and Kelly sat next to Mia, Davey’s girlfriend, on the pool chairs when Ella came back outside with Lola in tow. Turns out that Lola was a model—which didn’t shock anyone with how absolutely gorgeous she was—and she currently lived in New York, but was visiting LA for a modeling gig that she’d taken upon to have the excuse to see Zack again after he’d just left the big apple a little over a week before.
The sky was painted a beautiful pink and orange as the sun started to set when the girls were giggling and cooing like fools hearing the way her and Zack’s first date had gone like, but then their attention was caught by Alex and Zack coming back outside, followed by Matt and Breana.
Alex and Ella shared a knowing look then, it was now that it all properly started and Ella had to bite her tongue not to giggle like an idiot at the little secret she was meant to keep for a little longer. She thought that if no one was to call them out about it before they left, they’d come clean about it. Her heart jumped in her chest at the prospect of finally letting them all know.
When Matt and Breana finally incorporated the group, Ella knew she and Alex would have to try a little harder so they wouldn’t be too obvious. But that proved to be harder than they expected for they’d always been very touchy feely with each other.
At the start, keeping their hands to themselves had earned them a few looks and Kelly asking if they were alright. Ella had nodded and when the pregnant woman explained how odd it was to see them distancing themselves from the other, the director forced out a few giggles and excused herself as being a little too hot to be hugging Alex. That had proven futile when Katie then asked why she was so covered during a hot summer night, telling her she should’ve chosen a cute little sundress and even offering to take her to Bre and Matt’s so she could borrow a shorter, lighter dress.
So she and Alex started tentatively invading each other’s space more and more every passing minute, realizing just how foolish they’d always been when their behavior towards each other had always translated to something more. Ella let herself melt into him and Alex kept dropping kisses on her skin, they giggled into each other’s ears and fiddled with each other’s fingers as they spoke.
But there was something there, something out of the ordinary that everyone felt. It was palpable and the pair got multiple questioning looks throughout the night, all of which they ignored until Ella said she was gonna get another drink and Alex went along with her.
When they got back inside and into the kitchen, Alex caged her in against the marble of the kitchen island again. This time the wine that she’d been nursing and those whiskey and cokes Alex had been drinking made them a bit more careless about their actions and when they leaned in for a kiss, which exuded need from the second their lips touched, they lost all sense of logic.
Her hands came up to his face and her fingers carted through his hair only to tangle in the strands and pull on them. Alex moaned into her mouth as he pressed his hips forward into hers, and if it wasn’t for the fact that Jamie had been loud when calling out for the two of them, they definitely would’ve been caught prematurely.
Alex had basically thrown himself to the other side of the kitchen island and rubbed the back of his hand over his lips, as if he’d been drinking something and spilled down his chin, when Jamie got to the edge of the open plan kitchen. All the while, Ella had taken sudden interest in every label of each bottle that sat over the marble.
The guitarist knew something was going on, especially when he asked them if all was fine and their answers struggled to go past their lips.
So when Jamie went back outside with a new bottle of beer and a glass filled with rose for his wife, he made sure to tell everyone of his suspicions. Bless Zackery and Lola, they played along as the others threw theories around, nodding and humming as they indulged in the chat and trying their best to not expose the little secret Ella and Alex trusted them with.
“They’re together.” Jamie said entirely sure of his gut feeling, “They’ve gotta be.”
Matt scoffed, “How’d you know?”
The guitarist ignored his tone and explained, “You know the tension that’s always there when they’re together with us. It’s different now, I can’t really explain it but it is.” Katie hummed as she thought about it and actually agreed with him when she started connecting the dots.
The drummer once again, ever the skeptic, continued interrogating Jamie, “So what, you think they’ve been together since when?”
“I’d bet after Tennessee.” Nick smirked, actually believing Jamie could be onto something.
Jamie looked at the bassist and smirked back, “Me too.”
“No, ‘cos then Bre would know. Right babe?” Matt turned to his fiance to ask and she nodded.
“Mhm. And Ella hasn’t said anything.” The model fiddled with her fingers before actually continuing with why she sided with her fiance's logic, “She actually was struggling about her feelings towards him a few days ago.”
But that wasn’t enough to deter Nick, “I would still bet on it.”
Or Jamie, “Me too.”
“You would?” Matt asked, incredulously, and when the pair nodded, he shrugged, “Okay. A hundred quid they’re not together yet.”
“Fine.” Jamie agreed, a gallic shrug that matched his unbothered expression.
Nick seemed just as nonchalant, actually very smug about the agreement, “Helders, this is easy money.”
The drummer was set on his own logic though, so he scoffed and chatted back, “Easy money for me. They’re not together yet but I’m about to change that.”
Jamie and Nick snorted, “Okay, cupid.”
No one knew what exactly Matt was planning on doing to ‘change that’ but he put his plan to work as soon as Ella and Alex were back.
Matt basically let the pair join the conversation he’d started as a distraction for a few minutes before he asked Alex something random about the house. He made Alex take him to see what he was asking about, something about one of his guest rooms, and suggested Ella came along.
The whole group trying hard not to laugh at Matt’s incredibly improvised plan almost ruined his cover, but they managed to hold in their laughter until the three of them walked past the glass doors and back into the house.
“Ladies first,” Matt had said once they got to one of the guest rooms so that Ella would walk in first and, in a blink of an eye, Matt pushed Alex in without warning and slammed the door closed before loudly giving them notice, “You’re not coming out until I say so.”
Ella snorted when hearing that, because the doors locked from the inside so she was pretty sure he didn’t have a say at all in that, “Whatever that means.”
But at the opportunity to have each other alone, together for a little while, Ella and Alex took it and happily sat themselves at the edge of the bed.
Alex grabbed her legs and threw them over his lap, a big calloused hand coming to hold her thigh as he sighed, “Finally some peace and quiet.”
“Matt did something right for once.” Ella joked a little louder so, if Matt was still out there, he’d listen to her taunting.
But Matt had decided to go back to the kitchen to wait after giving everyone a thumbs up outside through the glass. So he didn’t hear as Alex shook his head and corrected his girlfriend, “Nah, he already did once asking Breana to marry him. This is the second time.”
Ella hummed in agreement, “That’s right.”
Alex didn’t let another second go to kiss her again, his hand cupping her jaw harshly as his lips intently moved with hers. His tongue slipped past her parted lips and licked into her mouth, moaning when he tasted the red wine she’d been drinking all afternoon. A giggle came from her at his desperation, but he continued making it known with the way his hands started roaming down her body, groping her tits through her dress and stealing the oxygen from her lungs further when he pinched her nipples with his nimble fingers.
Before she could lose herself in him entirely, Ella pulled away and grabbed his wrists as she tutted, “Uh-uh.”
“But–” Alex was quick to try and fight, his wet lips falling into a pout.
She fought the urge to kiss it away and joked, “You can do this, babe. I believe in you.”
“You’re a cruel tease.” Alex groaned, letting his head fall on her shoulder.
“You better get used to it.” Ella replied while bringing her fingers to his head, scratching his scalp softly and making him moan.
He dropped a kiss on the side of her neck and she could feel his smirk against her skin as he said, “Not going anywhere, are you?”
Pulling his hair, she made him come out of his hiding place and look at her, “Do you want me to?”
The shake of his head was decisive, just like his words, “Absolutely not.”
The sweetness that coated her tone as she easily said, “Well I wasn’t planning to,” made Alex fall back onto her lips.
This time, it was sweeter. The I love yous they had shared in the past day all said wordlessly though the movement of their mouths on each other’s. Gracefully stealing each other’s breath and melting into each other’s touch. It was heavenly, and it meant so much more now that they knew how devoted and entirely crazy they were about each other.
The memory of the last time they’d been forced into a room for minutes made her smile like a fool, leaving Alex to kiss her teeth twice before she pulled back, “Have you noticed how stupid we’ve been all along?” She wondered how different everything would’ve been if she’d just told him she liked him back then, because she knew she did.
Alex snorted, “Yeah. Think we came to that conclusion last night, didn’t we?”
“Hmm, yeah.” She agreed, but she realized that very afternoon how oblivious they had been to their own behavior towards each other, how everyone had been right all along, “We’ve always acted like this though, just never kissed.”
“Or shagged.” Alex smirked.
“Or shagged.” She repeated with a smirk of her own tugging at the corners of her mouth. “The girls were right.”
“About what?”
She knew then she had loads of things to tell him, “How we really shouldn’t have called this just a friendship.”
He hummed, understanding what she meant, “There’s always been more.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” She declared, eyes filled with devotion as she stared at his pretty face.
Yet, there was still a lot of regret that settled in the pit of his stomach when he thought about it so he admitted, “There were some things I shouldn’t have done.”
Ella shook her head, knowing that he’d keep on haunting himself with guilt that he needed to shed off him already, she had forgiven all of his wrongs a long time ago. Rubbing soothing circled on his jaw, she whispered, “But it got us here, sweets. And that’s all that matters.”
“I fucking love you.” Alex mumbled against her lips, eyes fluttering close at their proximity.
Puckering her lips, she dropped a chaste kiss on his mouth before reciprocating with ease, “I fucking love you too.”
Loving him was second nature, it just happened and she wouldn’t ever forget because she just did. Alex felt just the same, and he could prove it with the way their lips slotted together perfectly, how right it felt to be held by her as they kissed and how his body couldn’t stop responding to her touch and her presence all over him with soft moans and gasps, the twitch of his cock in his jeans, the buzzing of every nerve ending in his body.
When their lungs burned and they needed to pull back to catch their breath, they just hugged with the biggest grins on their faces. All their worries about distance and the uncertainty of the future disappeared when the constant of their love was so strong and they felt it seeping through their pores.
But they couldn’t revel in the feeling for long since Matt burst through the door and startled them. “Fucking hell!” Alex cursed loudly as Ella clutched a hand over her chest and she tried to regain her breath.
Matt ignored them entirely and rose his brows to question a vague, “So?”
“So, what?” Alex bit back with annoyance written all over his face.
“Did you–” Matt started this time, but ended his sentence with more vagueness, “You know.”
Ella frowned, pursing her lips before chatting back, “Erm… We don’t know, actually.”
“Fucks sake.” The drummer rubbed his face in frustration, “This was my attempt to get you talking…”
Still completely confused, Alex asked, “About what?”
What the pair, who were still hugging, didn’t expect was for Matt to rid off his vagueness and spout out, “About how you’ve been wanting to fuck each other since 2011?”
“Woah, mate,” Alex said at the same time as Ella gasped, “Matt, Jesus Christ!”
Matt scoffed for the millionth time that evening, “Oh, don’t you two start fucking lying. Alex, I caught you–“
Alex knew what he was about to say and though Ella knew already, somehow, he still didn’t want Matt saying that aloud, so he interrupted before Matt could ruin the moment further, “We were talking…”
Ella knew by the way Alex squeezed her thigh that this was it so she smiled brightly as she started, “Yes. I was talking… to my boyfriend.”
It was Matt’s turn to loudly gasp, “What?! Wait, what? That quick?!”
Trying not to burst out laughing, Alex nodded, “Erm, well. You’re only,” he checked the watch that adorned his wrist and finished, “About a day late mate.”
“Fuck off.” The drummer let out in disbelief, “You’re joking.”
Ella shook her head and proudly denied, “We’re not.”
“Really?!” Matt made sure to ask again.
Alex and Ella nodded.
And again, “You’re not taking the piss?”
Ella rolled her eyes and mockingly suggested, “Do you want me to shag him in front of you for proof, Helders?”
Matt gagged loudly then, “God, no. No. Absolutely not.”
The director hummed, “Yeah, thought so.”
With despair, Matt sighed and rubbed his face again, knowing what this meant, “You’ve just made me lose a bet against Jamie and Nick, you insufferable cunts.”
Alex snorted at the clear pain in his voice, he couldn’t not ask, “How much?”
Matt replied with the meekest tone and the most irritated expression on his face, “A hundred quid. Each.”
Ella couldn’t hold back the loud cackle that rumbled through her, contagious as Alex laughed beside her, “What a shame, Matthew.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes knowing they had no pity for him. And then he properly looked at them and saw how close they were, so he grimaced, “God, I regret locking you in here now. Ugh!”
Alex’s brows rose and he reminded his best mate, “S’my house.”
But the drummer ignored his words as he was lost in his head. He shuddered and shared one of his thoughts out loud, “I don’t even know if you’re gonna be worse now or not. Honestly, I'm scared.”
Ella let out another cackle and narrowed her eyes at him, “Shut up, you drama queen!”
“Does Bre know already?” Matt asked, thinking for a second that maybe his fiance had been in it all along and hadn’t said anything to see him suffer over losing a bet, like the tease she was.
But when Ella seriously answered, “No.”
Matt smirked, “Oh, she’s gonna kill you,” and dashed out of the room.
“Matt, no!” Ella yelled out for him but he was long gone. She let her head fall back onto Alex’s shoulder and she sighed, “I hate him.”
“I know.” Alex said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “At least they know now. Can kiss you all I want.”
“Yeah you can.” Ella perked up and sat back up straight, her gaze falling to her boyfriend’s lips and stealing a long sweet kiss before she stood up and called, “Let’s go. But you’re gonna have to hold me back so I don’t commit a crime.”
Alex grinned brightly, “Of course, darling.”
She offered her hand to help him up and he took it, intertwining their fingers as he stood up beside her and once he was on his feet, she started walking towards the door with him following closely behind.
“Hey.” Alex said before they crossed the threshold of the room, tugging on her hand so she turned and crashed against his chest.
Breathless, she looked into his eyes, “Yeah?”
“I love you.” He said quietly, just for her to hear before they could go out and be disturbed by the million questions he knew everyone would ask.
Ella blushed as she smiled at him, her stomach doing somersaults in response to how adorable he was, “You’re so fucking cute.” She kissed him again before mumbling back, “Love you too.”
Apparently, once they walked through the sliding glass doors, the news had spread like wildfire and everyone was gasping and hollering seeing them hand in hand on their way towards the group.
Ella caught the look on Breana’s face in a second, knowing exactly what was going through her head. So she tried to warn her best friend with a, “Don’t–”
That was cut short when Bre said exactly what she’d been thinking, “I told you so.”
“And she said it.” Ella sighed in defeat, earning the laugh of everyone around as well as questions about what she meant by that which Ella quieted down by promising to tell them in a bit.
As they watched Matt grumpily take out the cash from his wallet and handing their respective amount to Nick and Jamie, Miles hugged the new couple and congratulated them for finally realizing how in love they were with each other. Everyone gasped when Alex and Ella thanked Zack and Lola for keeping it hush for a few hours. And the new couple laughed loudly when Zack countered their surprise by calling them out on being too slow to notice what was obviously there.
Now that they could kiss and properly act like a couple, the party felt far sweeter. They went around the party, chatting and meeting more of Alex’s friends, laughing and sharing stories with everyone. The music got a bit louder, and the drinks flowed easier and faster, as well as the food which became more and more scarce as the time passed.
When Josh got there, it was hilarious to hear him yell, “Finally!” when he walked outside and the first thing Matt uttered was that Alex and Ella were together.
It truly felt like they were all celebrating the fact that they’d gotten together at that point and it only made the two of them more and more elated.
When Alex had gone to get Ella another glass of wine, she’d walked over to the speaker and queued up You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac to play next. Just in time for it to start playing, Alex walked back outside and found a smiley Ella staring at him expectantly, waving him over towards her with a cheeky grin.
Matt heard the harmonies loudly coming out of the speakers and he was about to complain about Ella choosing a song she knew he very much didn’t like when turned around and saw her starting to sing along, directing every word to Alex.
She walked to the beat of the song, meeting Alex in the middle as he made his way towards her. He was completely entranced by the way she looked, staring at her adoringly as she swayed her hips to the staring beat of the song.
Plucking the wine glass from his hand so he had a free hand to hold her, her arms flew around his neck and he swiftly wrapped his around her waist, swaying with her as she sang the lyrics out to him.
Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do / Oh, can it be so / This feeling follows me wherever I go
She continued to sing with a massive smile on her face. She let her head hang back and then came back close to his face with her eyes open and sparkling with love.She pecked his lips quickly, leaving him dazed like she always did when she kissed him, and he swore he had never felt more adoration for someone before. It felt like his chest was about to burst, warmth tickling every inch of him, his lips itching to kiss her properly, his body burning to adore her over and over.
I never did believe in miracles / But I've a feeling it's time to try / I never did believe in the ways of magic / But I'm beginning to wonder why
Her hands went to cup his jaw as she sang the chorus again, staring right into his eyes. They were far too preoccupied with enjoying each other that they hadn’t noticed all eyes on them. She swayed her hips as he held her close and when she’d brought her arms up in the air in pure elation, he had grabbed one of her hands to twirl her around twice and then pull her back into her chest.
Don't, don't break the spell / It would be different and you know it will / You, you make loving fun / And I don't have to tell you but you're the only one
She sang that softly against his lips, Alex stole a kiss that he’d wanted to deepen but she broke it when she leaned back not wanting to miss singing the last bit of the song. Yes, she loved the song but she wanted him to know how hard she’d fallen for him and since she couldn’t do it with her own words, she’d do it with a song.
You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do
Alex held her close, hiding his face in the crook of her neck leaving pecks all over the skin he had available and making her giggle as the song died down. He squeezed her waist as he pulled back up to look her in the eyes and she brought her hands up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.
Some other song started playing in the background but they were entranced with their gazes swimming all around each other’s faces, taking in each other under the golden haze of the patio’s lights.
“I love you so much, darling.” Alex was the first to break their silence and she was so glad his hold was tight around her waist because she felt her knees go weak when she heard him say that yet again. The alcohol in her system made her so much more sensible to everything that she now had with him and she could just collapse on the floor from the amount of love she felt for him.
One of her hands came to hold his neck and breathlessly she reciprocated, “I love you more, sweetness.”
Alex shook his head as he leaned in. “Impossible,” he muttered before catching her lips, both of them sighing in relief at the feeling of their lips together again.
Ella’s fingers pressed around his neck, making him blissfully hum in response. Her tongue teased his bottom lip, and he obeyed the silent indication to open his mouth. They swallowed each other’s soft moans when they tasted the alcohol on each other’s tongues, Alex bringing her in closer to his front, tightening his hold on her waist. He held back from the need to squeeze her ass and buck his hips forwards. He wanted her so badly, he needed her right there and then.
“Please tell me it’s an incredibly great idea to kick everyone out right now.” He begged, out of breath after they broke the kiss to get some oxygen back in their lungs.
She chuckled against his lips and shook her head, pulling back a little more to brush his hair back and then let her fingers trail delicately down his pretty face. She knew exactly what he was feeling, because it burned her too but waiting a bit longer, until everyone left, would make it all taste and feel much sweeter.
“It isn’t, love.” She disagreed, a smile on her face from her attempt at trying not to laugh at his despaired face.
His hold on her waist tightened as he pushed his hips forwards subtly, or at least he hoped because he couldn’t help himself. Ella swallowed a moan by biting harshly on her bottom lip, she could feel him starting to get hard and it was all very tempting, especially the tone in his voice when he argued, “But–”
But Ella held the best she could onto her logic and tutted as she remembered what was waiting for them if he pulled through with his promise of behaving tonight, “Good things come to those who wait.”
The reminder of her earlier words were enough for Alex to swallow his pain and bury the hunger she could only satiate for a little longer. He’d do anything she asked for, especially when it promised her to make him all hers afterwards.
It only took a few minutes for Ella to be snatched away by the girls and Alex to be left to fend for himself with the lads. It seemed like after that show of pda, everyone had loads of questions and a separate interrogation for the both of them couldn’t wait more than a few minutes.
Alex tried his best to answer the questions the guys were asking him but he was too distracted by watching Ella sitting on one of the pool chairs, surrounded by the girls, blushing and giggling and covering her face as they scooped everything out of her, question by question.
The faint sound of the doorbell was the perfect excuse for Alex to escape his nosy friends, so he excused himself in a split second to walk back inside and open the front door.
“You’re here!” He greeted with a smile when he opened the door and found Alex standing there, “Hi!”
“Al! Hello!” Her tone was chipper as she greeted him. A whistle came from her when she took a look around his new place, she complimented, “This house is stunning.”
“Ah thank you, thank you.” Alex replied with a soft grin, waving her over to the left side of the room where the gorgeous kitchen was set, “Come in, there’s drinks in the kitchen.”
As Alexa walked in and approached the bottles set on the kitchen island, Alex couldn’t stop himself from eagerly telling her that Ella was there and he was going to get her so she could meet her.
Alexa nodded excitedly, joking about him taking his time because she was indecisive and there were too many types of alcohol to choose from.
The singer wasted no time walking back outside and slowly approaching the group of girls. Leaning in behind Ella, he interrupted the conversation as he kissed her cheek and said, “Love?”
Ella smiled like an idiot and mumbled, “Sweetness?”
“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Alex said vaguely.
A spark of curiosity lit up inside her as she let out a soft, “Oh?” So it wasn’t long that it took her to excuse herself and hold Alex’s hand as he guided her back inside the house.
When they crossed the living room and walked past the edge of the kitchen, Ella was shocked to see Alexa standing in the kitchen.
The quiet, “Oh,” that Ella let out made Alexa look up from her glass she’d just filled with white wine.
“Hi!” The model said excitedly, that bright smile of hers reaching her eyes as they crinkle around the edges in such an endearing way. “I’m Alexa, nice to finally meet you!”
Ella was breathless but she reciprocated the enthusiastic sentiment, “Hi! Nice to meet you too.”
Alexa went for a quick hug that Ella welcomed and when the model pulled back, she gasped, “You’re even prettier in person, bloody hell.”
“Oh stop it.” Ella blushed hard when Alexa said that. Ella had just been breathless over the fact that she was even more perfect in person, as if that was humanly possible. When seeing Ella struggle to find her words, Alex wrapped an arm around her waist and giggled, dropping a kiss on her cheek, bringing her back to reality with the feeling of his lips on her skin. Ella smiled and told Alexa, “I was about to say that about you.”
“Ah, you’re too kind.” Alexa said like she didn’t hear that on the daily, waving Ella off jokingly. The model smirked then, seeing Alex’s hold on Ella’s waist, taking it as a sign that it had finally happened, “So… he finally told you?”
Ella giggled pathetically, melting into his chest and nodded, “He did, yeah.”
Alexa cooed, placing her hands over her heart, “You two look adorable together. So happy for you guys.”
Alex hummed, “Thank you ‘Lexa.”
Going back to get her glass, Alexa took a sip and told Ella with a funny look on her face, “Gave him quite a pep talk in New York last week about it. He was just wasting precious time, wasn’t he?”
Ella’s stomach flipped at the mention of New York, this time with embarrassment rather than dread. She cocked her head to the side and pouted at the mention, “Ah, I think we were both making that mistake.”
Alexa cooed again like it all was a cute little tv show drama that now had reached its happy ending. She raised her glass as if making a toast, “Well, no point in dwelling in the past now that you’re finally together.”
“That’s very true.” Ella agreed, raising her own glass and smiling when Alexa got closer to clink them.
After another leisurely sip of her white wine, she inquired keenly, “Did he tell you about my request for a photoshoot?”
“Oh yeah, he did!” Ella smiled as she nodded, still cozied up in Alex’s arms. “Just let me know when and we can plan something, brainstorm ideas for concepts and play around with what we come up with.”
“Sounds amazing. I’ll definitely let you know when I get a hold of my schedule.” Alexa promised. A smirk came to her face when she knew what she could say to take the piss out of Alex who was just silently witnessing the conversation, “Though I would cancel anything for you to make me look as good as you do in those pictures.” She whispered loudly on purpose, and winked when she added, “He showed me his favorite ones.”
Ella couldn’t help blushing, but a smirk broke on her face as well. She squirmed in Alex’s hold, purposely brushing her ass on his front, she heard him hiss in her ear as she said, “Has he? You’ll have to let me know which ones are they ‘cause he has yet to tell me.”
“That’s just plain rude of you Alex.” Alexa scolded playfully with a faux frown on her face.
Ella shook her head and shrugged, “Seems like he doesn’t want any new ones.”
Alexa laughed loudly when Alex’s face fell at Ella’s words. He scoffed and pinched her waist, making his girlfriend yelp before he scolded, “Can’t believe you’ve met her a second and already teaming up against me.”
“Hmm I love her.” Alexa stated, snatching Ella away from his hold to throw her arm over Ella’s shoulders. She started walking away with Ella beside her, Alex calling her out for stealing his girlfriend behind them. When they walked out of the kitchen, Alexa gasped, noticing the amount of people outside, “Bloody hell. There’s loads of people here! Where are the girls? And where’s that menace of a Scouser? Is he here yet?”
Ella chuckled at the mention of Miles, “Yeah. He’s out by the pool, probably trying to throw Matt and Nick in.” He’d been joking about doing it since he arrived, so she had no doubt he would still be trying to find the perfect moment to do it.
“Oh I’m sure I can push him in without him noticing.” Alexa smirked, shedding herself off Ella’s side to give her and Alex a moment alone and calling out a “See you around!” before walking outside.
“That went better than I expected.” Ella thought out loud.
“Of course it did.” Alex said as he walked up behind her, kissing her temple when he was pressed against her back. “No one can’t just not fall in love with you as soon as they meet you.”
A string of giggles fell from Ella’s lips as she turned around to face him, her arms wrapping around his neck, she cocked her head to the side and teased, “Speaking from experience?”
“Definitely.”
Her laugh was cut short as he pressed his lips against hers, her amusement being swallowed by the way he eagerly licked into her mouth. Her fingers tangled into his hair and she pulled harshly on it when his hands fell from her waist to her ass, cupping it before harshly kneading it with greedy fingers.
She moaned into his mouth and he gracefully swallowed the sound before pulling back and declaring, “I love you.”
After stealing a little peck from his lips, she replied, “Love you more.”
But Alex shook his head in disapproval, and Ella knew just what he was about to say. So before he could deny her words by swearing it was ‘impossible’, she kissed him hard and eager, successfully leaving him stupefied when she pulled back to scorn him.
“Stop it before we actually fight over that.” He opened his mouth to speak but she glared at him and that look was the only thing it took for him to keep the words to himself. She sighed, “Looks like I’m actually gagging you tonight.”
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
After the housewarming party, the band had four more days in Los Angeles before they had to leave.
Since Ella had kept her word on Saturday night and rewarded Alex in ways he could have only dreamed of, the two of them woke up rather late on Sunday morning. They would’ve kept sleeping if it wasn’t for the fact that their friends were blowing up their phones and it had gotten so obnoxiously incessant that they had ended up having to answer one of their million calls.
It was Katie, the one calling this time, and she wanted them to join them for a trip to the beach and then out for drinks later in the night. They all knew Ella had to go to work on Monday and every day that followed until the band had to leave so they had to take advantage of the only full day they all had together to hang out and enjoy each other’s company. Knowing how long it’d be until she could see everyone again, Ella accepted in a heartbeat and her own enthusiasm was what finally got Alex up from bed.
She certainly didn’t regret agreeing to it when they all had the loveliest day at Manhattan beach, laughing and having drinks, taking pictures and running in and out of the water. She and Alex had been teased endlessly for the amount of love bites littered all over their bodies and the little marks and bruises in other parts of their bodies from things their friends didn’t even want to know about.
“You animals.” Nick had said when noticing the bruises on Ella’s ankles and the faint marks on Alex’s cheeks, which the bassist could guess what they were since he’d been complaining about his jaw aching here and there.
Later that night, after they all went back to their respective houses and hotel rooms, they met back up at a karaoke bar where they had way too much fun in just the few hours they managed to stay there. They had all begrudgingly left the place when it closed at two in the morning, pouting about the fun time being over way too soon.
It had been horrendously difficult for Ella to wake up on Monday when her alarm ripped her off her peaceful slumber. Alex’s arms around her waist and his legs tangled with hers tempted her to stay in bed but when she remembered all that she had to start that week at work, she knew she had to force herself out of bed as soon as she could.
When she was ready for the day, after making herself and Alex a quick breakfast that she left there for him, she went back to his room and kissed him goodbye. He had been half asleep still, but when he woke up without her next to him, he knew he hadn’t been dreaming. After he got ready for the day, he found the breakfast she’d made him and he’d sent her a horrendously cringe and clingy string of texts that she giggled about when she saw them at work.
That afternoon, she’d been surprised to come back to his house and walk into the completely blacked out house which was decorated with a path of candles and rose petals that she followed out and found the cutest little set up for that candlelit dinner he owed her.
She enjoyed it thoroughly, complimenting him over and over for how good it was and how well he’d done making her favorite dish. And when dinner was over, and they were finally in bed, she made sure to let him know just how much she’d appreciated it by using her mouth and her spit coated hand to bring him pleasure, whispering sweet nothings and telling him just how much in love she was with him over and over until he came all over her face.
Tuesday morning had brought even more of a challenge for her to wake up. She was too content in Alex’s arms and she had no intention of moving so she kept snoozing her alarm, time and time again, somehow managing to go back into deep slumber after every ring of her phone.
But Alex had woken up around the fourth time she did that, and despite him shaking her and whispering her name to get her to wake up, she continued softly breathing in and out, not peeling her eyes open for a thing.
He watched the time on the screen of her phone when the alarm rang again, and instead of snoozing it, he fully just turned it off and took it upon himself to wake her up. So he started kissing all over her face, down her neck and her clothed chest and abdomen but it wasn’t until he got to kissing her inner thighs that she started waking up.
Waking up with his lips burning a trail down her body assured for her to blink herself awake with need buzzing through every one of ehr nerve endings, pleasure dripped down her spine in white heat that ran down straight between her legs.
He stopped when he saw her open her eyes, knowing his plan had worked. But Ella cradled the back of his head and pouted, spreading her legs open and wordlessly coaxing him to continue and to go all the way because there was no way she’d be getting out of that bed without having his mouth lapping at her cunt like a starving man until she came.
That was the reason why she’d been late to work that day and after being distracted the whole time she was in the office, her brain filled with the memory of his head between her thighs and his tongue working her up to her orgasm, Ella knew she had to ask for the following day off to properly enjoy Alex’s last day in Los Angeles.
Her plans for Wednesday had been less lewd. They had both slept in, heavenly giving into their laziness and staying in bed for far longer than necessary. She’d woken him up when it got closer to midday by peppering kisses all over him and then coaxed him out of bed to the kitchen where she made breakfast as he watched.
Then, they both got ready for the rest of the day with a shower—which they definitely elongated as they got lost in each other’s touch and ended up with Alex pounding into Ella from behind against the glass walls of the shower—and once they changed, they rushed out the door to make their way to Los Feliz and catch the early day screenings at the theater to have the whole place to themselves. It was their first proper date to Los Feliz now that they were official and Ella had been skipping down the pavement and swinging their interlocked hands as they went around the boulevard.
A pout had made its way to her face when it was time to go back home, Alex had offered to drive and he’d kept a hand on her thigh and asked her to play her music so they could sing along together. He didn’t want to see her sad yet, even though his heart was breaking little by little as the clock's needles moved forward and closer to the time he had to leave for the airport.
Once back at Alex’s, the both of them started packing. Alex packed to leave for Europe to resume the tour and Ella to go back home now that Alex was leaving LA.
When Alex went to the bathroom to get a few of his things, he quickly realized just how much he loved seeing their things scattered around in the same space and knew it was far too soon but how could he not think about her moving in when all he wanted at that very moment was for them to be together all day, every day.
So, hours later, when they were ready to go and leave to the airport, Alex gave her one of the keys to his house.
Ella was slightly shocked so the soft, “Why?” slipped past her lips without her wanting to.
“So you can come and go as you please.” Alex replied with a sweet smile on his face, his voice so soft it felt like a caress in her ears.
“Alex,” she whined softly. Yes, it was way too soon, they hadn’t even been together for a full week by then but she really wanted to keep it. But it wasn’t that the reason why she complained, it was because she didn’t know if she could take the reminder that he wasn’t gonna be there for weeks.
“Someone’s gotta enjoy the pool.” Alex joked to soothe her, recognizing the despair that shined through her eyes, it was burning him inside.
She snorted, “That’s actually tempting.”
“I know it is. Fucking hundred degrees out here darling.”
Ella hummed, a blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks, her teeth sunk in her bottom lip as she debated, “Well someone’s gotta take care of your house, no?”
But that wasn’t why Alex wanted her to take the key. “Don’t even think about it,” he frowned and shook his head, letting her know what he had actually planned, “I’ll have people come over to clean it. I just want you to enjoy it.”
“But you’re not here.” Ella argued in a whisper. How could she enjoy it when it would be the reminder that he wasn’t there?
He pressed his forehead against hers and sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as he said, “I know, but it’ll make me happy to know you are here.”
She smirked, pulling back so he could open his eyes and look at her as she teased, “Already wanna wife me up, Turner?”
His smile reached his eyes hearing that, and he had to hold himself back from nodding eagerly at the suggestion. He was completely sure he wanted to call her his wife in the future, and even if it was crazy to admit this soon, he knew he also wanted her to be the mother of his children. His pupils dilated at the image of her swollen belly carrying his child, fucking hell did he love her with all that he was.
Instead of all that, he played it off suavely, “Well if you’re also considering it.”
Her cheeks hurt from how hard she was smiling, but she couldn’t help it when he said things like that. “You’re smooth,” she called out with a raise of her brows.
And, of course, her boyfriend puffed his chest out and nodded, “I know.”
“Okay c’mon, we gotta go.” She said as she put the new key in the front pocket of her jeans.
But Alex didn’t move, instead he leaned in and hugged her around the waist, hiding his face in the crook of her neck to mumble, “I don’t wanna.”
He surprised her by easily picking her up off the ground, making her drop her bag to the floor as she yelped and walking up to the settee to lay there with her on top of him, “Just wanna be here with you all day, every day.”
She hummed, picking her head up to look at him beneath her, pecking his lips once, twice and then pulling back to say, “Me too baby. But that’s the cost of being a rockstar, every country wants you to step in it.”
He sighed, her fingers starting to brush through his hair making his eyes grow heavy, “Wish I could just take you on tour with me.”
“Yeah, me too.” She agreed with ease, thinking that nothing would be better than that.
Alex continued fantasizing out loud, “Travel the world with you, live every experience with you, seeing the crazy crowds everywhere we go.”
“We’ll figure it out.” Ella promised with a kiss to the tip of his nose, the pads of her thumbs rubbing softly on his lids to make him open his eyes again, so he could see the determination in her eyes as she said, “Now we’re together and we got this yeah? It’ll be the same as before, you’re just actually my boyfriend now so I can tell everyone to fuck off when they interrupt our facetimes at work.”
He giggled like a fucking fool and hummed, “Mhm, baby. You tell them.” She snorted before dipping down to kiss his lips softly for a few seconds, pulling back only to hide in the crook of his neck and have one last cuddle before they had to go.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
By the time Ella and Alex walked into the airport and got to their airline section, everyone was there. They were all waiting in line to walk up to the check-in counters, and with the amount of stuff they needed to take with them, Ella knew it’d take a while.
So she went to sit next to Mia, who was also staying in Los Angeles like Ella, not going on tour with her boyfriend either. And thankfully they had each other, going through the same type of heartache, as they watched everyone go through slowly until it was time for them to head to security.
The security line was already so long and the airport was packed so they all needed to go in as soon as possible, which meant that goodbyes would have to happen right then and they’d have to be brief.
“I hate this.” Alex mumbled into her neck as they hugged goodbye.
“Fucking sucks.” Ella struggled to say as her eyes welled up with tears that she knew would spill as soon as she looked at his face.
Alex clutched her even tighter when hearing the heaviness in her voice, “We’ll be alright yeah? You’ll be sick of me by the time we come back to California.” He joked to settle her a little and he smiled when he heard her giggling.
“You wish.” She sniffled as the laughter had helped the tears start running down her cheeks. Sighing, she pulled back and cupped his face, “We got this, sweets.”
“We do.” He promised, bringing his hands up to her face to wipe away her tears. But they wouldn’t stop falling and he started tearing up at the sight. His hands held her face delicately but his words were determined as he said, “I love you so fucking much, darling. I’ll never let you forget it.”
Ella had to press her lips together in order not to sob, and taking a deep breath first, she managed to whisper, “Love you lots and lots and lots, sweetness.”
When their lips met, it tasted salty from the tears. That only made Alex move more intently against her mouth, hold her even closer to his body but not out of lust, because he needed the both of them to memorize how it felt to be properly pressed against each other. The way in which she held his face exuded longing, prematurely really because he was still there, but she was already mourning his presence beside her on the daily. The kiss was sad, a goodbye that hurt three times as much as the one they shared when he was leaving Tennessee.
But Alex couldn’t help but smile in content when he knew he would get to properly kiss her goodbye every time he were to leave from then on, like he’d been wanting to do for so long, “I can’t believe I can finally do that.”
“What?” She sniffled again, her sadness not only clouding her vision with tears but her thoughts for she couldn’t think about what he meant.
“Actually kiss you goodbye.” Alex answered breathlessly, a feeling coming over him in the most overwhelming way; a tear ran down his cheek and she quickly wiped it away.
Despite the ache that ripped through their chests, she knew what he meant by that. The final piece of the puzzle fell and the air changed around them when it all just felt right, once and for all.
Ella hummed, her pout changing into a massive grin as she concluded, “Finally.” 
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
A/N: So... what did you think? I hope you enjoyed it and you can yell at me freely all you want, I know I made you lot go through it to get to this moment lolllll Hope you found it all worth the wait!!! Thank you for your constant support and your comments and messages, I appreciate them with all my heart!!! xxx
Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum
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pspkisser · 7 months
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⚙️ This laptop was saved from obsolescence! [10 mins of read]
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Hello!! i am making this post here to raise awareness for PC and laptop upgrades, and how it should motivate you to do that same thing to preserve yours for longer or to give it the power you need! this will feature my history with mine, as well as the steps i took to be able to make him breathe life better! this is the story of his journey, and how it went to this current day.
his name is samuel, he is an asus fx570u and i bought him back in september of 2018 after i turned 13! he was brand new during that time and priced at 800 euros, offering only 6 gb of memory and an HDD as his specs. however he does have an 8th gen core i5 as his cpu and a geforce 1050 ti for his gpu. for something marketed as a gaming pc, it's pretty low and it wouldn't allow him to run fast enough, especially for highly demanding software and causing some compatibility issues. it wasn't severe, but as i was stuck with an hdd, that meant operating systems would run pretty slow on it, also leading to long software loading times. this is made worse by the fact that its bundled system, windows 10, isn't designed to work efficiently on hdd in the first place, but at least that means i have my hands on a windows key to be able to use some windows exclusive programs..
i mainly used him to be able to use advanced video editing software and customize the games i have on it for my own taste, because back then i loved making youtube videos and it was a passion i've had for years until i've partially retired from it. i rarely bought games on it and instead opted for free-to-plays, and overall had a good time with him.
unfortunately within only 3 months, his HDD broke down and i sent him to technicians for them to replace it with another one. it was a minor accident i've had but it formatted all my data, even though it didn't matter much since i uploaded most of it to the internet. i just had to be gentle with him by trying to not moving him around too much to stop that issue from persisting... but it was still low-end in terms of system performance. i finally used him for 1 year straight before moving on to a tower pc, feeling tired about his slowness and believing i couldn't do much about it.
i used that other (unnamed) pc for almost a year, starting from 2020! they seemed to work better since it had windows 7, but embarrassingly enough that version itself stopped receiving official security updates months before i started using it, even though i was careful while accessing the internet with it. its performances were also low, but didn't really matter much since i didn't take so much advantage from the power of samuel. suddenly, i had the foolish idea of installing windows 8.1 on the latter to try to deal with the performance issues on 10, but it led to even more compatibility issues since the drivers i used were meant to be for 10 only. only by early 2021, i got win10 back on him and started using him again to get more power again.
so the low-end performance persisted for very long. back then i never knew how to upgrade pcs, so i was only used to replacing devices with others which wasn't cost-efficient. after realizing i used windows for well over 10 years, i had the idea of switching to a mac and as a result, for xmas 2021 i got myself a cute yellow silicon imac, who goes by the name of sarah! but switching to macos posed new serious challenges, such as getting used to the lack of windows compatibility and the missing features that i was used to for a long time. most of the creativity i did with her was drawings with firealpaca and krita, and cgi with blender, which wasn't really much. still, she is pretty glossy and also powerful for many of the tasks i'm performing with her. originally i also intended to sell samuel, but that never happened (i low regret that decision so much i swear).
in late 2022, samuel's performance apparently had had a big hit... he now takes approximately 20 seconds to open any program and it seemed to me like something was wrong with him. at that time i also gained interest in linux since it's a libre OS capable of much more flexibility, essentially allowing it to revive old PCs. i finally decided to get linux mint to work on him via a dual boot with win11 (what was i thinking when i "upgraded" him from 10?). the performance seemed a little better from then, but programs still took very long to open. for that reason, he had often been collecting dust as he finally became unusable.
finally we've reached 2023. this is the year i decided to take on tearing down devices to learn how to examine problems inside of them. after checking samuel's performance again, i noticed that his HDD was having extremely low writing and reading speeds compared to my tower, which made me feel disappointed. but that's when i finally decided i could be able to replace his hard disk with an ssd, a new generation which is more durable, faster, quieter and energy-efficient...
but i still had a good wait until it was possible. suddenly with my money, i found an ssd which only costed €30, and it made me happy that this would be a quick way of healing up samuel! so i rushed to get it, and finally opened him to prepare everything... unfortunately, his keyboard has to be lifted up in the process, and there are flex cables connected between it and the motherboard. but taking out the hard disk thankfully only requires a few steps; removing some screws, then inserting the SSD inside of it. after that i quickly put linux mint back into him. SO SPLENDID...
for only the price of a high budget indie game, now he can open programs very fast, close to how fast sarah can do, and just about any task works perfectly well on him with way less bugs! thanks to that fast upgrade he's become viable for daily drives again, even though i don't have other desks suitable for pcs which makes me less motivated to use him. really wish id be able to since the architecture he has (x64) means he has a lot more software he's able to handle natively...
but then, i hadn't upgraded his ram. i said before that he only had 6 gb of it, and that meant he could only work with a few programs before becoming bloated. and as i like doing power tasks on him, that obviously causes problems. so one day, i went to a pc part store out of curiosity, and became shocked when i found small ram carts that could be compatible with my laptop. after some talk with the seller, i bought 2 ddr4 carts each containing 8 gb and clocked at 2666 mhz, more than double of what i used to have. after that it was time to take on a challenge to be able to insert them myself.
when the seller asked me if i needed assistance to have the carts inserted into my laptop, i giggled internally because of my past stories with learning how to open devices and trying to troubleshoot or modify them internally. i obviously declined it which saved me money, but also meant i had to do it all myself. after an hour of painful manipulations which required me to take out the entire motherboard from samuel, while that next step was also difficult i was finally able to insert the carts into it, before placing all his components back into place. and after such a long time of waiting...
i've finally done it!
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Samuel is feeling very well right now!! despite his cpu and gpu dating from over 5 years, now he can do even more tasks at a time, while also being able to read them faster, a massive improvement compared to when it was stuck with an hdd and only 6 gb of ram. i'm guessing those low specs were for the purpose of saving manufacturing costs, but until you'd find use for the components that you'd remove, they'd end up becoming waste. and with a free os like linux mint, it adds up to an even more optimized experience than windows 10, which comes with so many unwanted stuff and can't be customized very well.
have you had a similar story to mine? did that pose you challenges? i took over 40 minutes to write this entire piece of text, but it should at least be very well detailed! on the best case scenario i hope it would inspire others to do some research on upgrading PCs to preserve their lives and especially save costs. Thank you for reading the entirety of it, don't hesitate reblogging it if you think it would interest your own audience! peace for all of you 💙
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hoedamn-eron · 4 months
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baby, please - part 17
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It's your first Christmas without your family, but Santiago makes it up to you.
Warnings: Mega heavy on Christmas talk. Mentions of pregnancy complications from the previous chapter. Mentions of shitty in-laws. Gabrielle isn't actually in it, but she's being a bit distant but you know. It's fine. Lot's of dialogue, again. Not proofread whatsoever. Santi and Frankie have an argument we're not privvy to. Word count: 4,724 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.
Apologies this is late, but here is Christmas with Santi! I did mention it in a post, but I'll mention it again here: please be aware that part 18 won't be posted until 11/01 (11th January) due to a busy Christmas period. I need to catch up with myself, and I start a new job in the New Year, so I won't be to write as much as I was able to before.
Edited because Gabs isn't married to Andy, she's married to Matthew 😂 it's Courtney who is married to Andy! Now I'm going to have to double check all of my chapters to see if everyone is married to the correct person 😂
Part 16 ● Series Masterlist ● Part 18
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You’d been taking it easy since your stay at the hospital a few weeks ago.
You took less responsibilities at work (your friends wanted you to cut down on your hours, but you just couldn’t do that), and you begrudgingly accepted the help of others to help you pack for your move next month. Speaking of your friends, they’d been checking in on you multiple times a week, and every time, you tell them you’re fine. Really.
The twins were fine. You were fine. Everyone was fine.
“You have a case of placenta previa.”
You look at Dr Montgomery, confused, from your place on the ultrasound table. “What’s that?”
“Your placenta is low, and covering the cervix,” she replied, looking at the screen as she pressed a few keys on the keyboard, then moving the wand over your bump. “Usually, it’s detected at your 20-week ultrasound, but it must have been missed, especially since you’re having twins.”
“Is it...is everyone okay, is it dangerous?”
“It can be risky, but we’ll keep an eye on you,” Dr Montgomery said. “The bleeding was caused by this, and stress. You’ll need to come back for another ultrasound at 32 to 33 weeks. It may have moved on its own by then, but otherwise, we may have to look at a caesarean birth at 37 weeks.”
“What? No! I wanted to go as natural as possible,” you say, your eyes widening. You had a plan! “I can’t be out of commission for 6 weeks with twins!”
“I’m sorry, I know it’s not what you wanted, but I strongly advise you look into it,” she replies, giving you a sympathetic look before turning off the machine. “I also recommend you take it easy if you can. I’m not saying strict bed rest, but just...relax a bit more.”
So that’s what you’ve done...you’ve relaxed. You’ve downloaded a kick counting app, something you should have done a while ago, so you could count the kicks from the babies, just in case. So far, they’d been back to normal – and by ‘normal’, you mean they were using your bladder as a soccer ball, with a shot to the kidneys every now and then.
Santi had arrived in the hospital just as Dr Montgomery had given you the okay to go home. Beth had left just after the results of your ultrasound (at your insistence), so you were packing your bag as Santi ran into your room, breathless and eyes wide. You’d looked at him with equally as wide eyes, before you hurriedly caught him up, telling him everything was okay, that you just needed to take it easy.
You introduced him to Dr Montgomery, who explained the situation a little better. It calmed Santi down a little, but you still noticed him tapping his foot as he nodded along, his hands resting on his hips as he listened intently. He kept glancing at you, as if you would collapse or suddenly disappear.
He gave you a lift home (in his truck) and insisted he stay for dinner. He cooked some food for the both of you, and you both ate on your couch, Santi wanting to know every detail to what happened. He apologised again and again for not being there, but you told him it was Thanksgiving weekend, you don’t blame him for not being there. No-one could predict what would have happened.
Dr Montgomery had booked you in for another scan a few days before Christmas. Santi insisted on going with you, which you were grateful for, of course. Unfortunately, your placenta hadn’t moved much, and you were booked in for a c-section for the end of January.
You sulked as you walked out of the hospital, pouting.
Santi gave you a small nudge, walking beside you. “Hey, it’s going to be okay.”
“I wanted to give birth naturally,” you mumble, as you both approach the truck.
Santi grabs your arm gently, stopping you as you stop at the bed of the truck. “I know it’s not what you wanted, and that does suck for you. I’m sorry. But Dr Montgomery said it was the safest option for you and them.”
You sighed. “I feel like it’s...it’s like I’m not...like I’ve already failed as a mother, by bringing them into the world that way.”
Santi looks at you, his eyes filled with empathy. He places a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Listen to me," he says, his voice soft but firm. "Having a c-section doesn't make you any less of a mother. What matters is that you and the babies are safe. That's the priority."
You lean against the truck, staring at the ground as a mix of emotions wash over you. "I just wanted everything to be perfect, you know? A beautiful, natural birth story to tell them when they're older."
Santi gently lifts your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Life never goes according to plan, especially when it comes to something as unpredictable as having kids. We should know.” he grins at you, wiggling his eyebrows a little.
You give a small laugh at his quip.
He continues. “But that doesn't lessen the love you have for them or the strength it takes to do what's best for their well-being." He pauses, before giving you a reassuring smile. "You're not failing as a mom. If anything, you're making the tough decisions now because you love them so much."
You take a deep breath, absorbing his words, before nodding. “Okay.”
Santi studies you for a moment. “C’mere.” He pulls you into a comforting hug, and you melt into him, allowing the warmth of his embrace to provide a momentary escape from the overwhelming emotions of your appointment with Dr Montgomery. "We'll get through this together.”
You nod against him, just holding him a little longer than necessary before pulling away. “Thank you.”
He gives another laugh. “Don’t thank me for speaking the truth, querida.”
You wipe away at the few stray tears in your eyes before turning to him. “Come on, I gotta get home. Help me get in this junk heap.”
“Hey, don’t insult my truck,” Santi says in mock offence, before he smirks and opens the door for you, and helps you climb in.
He drives you in silence as you talk to him about work, how you’ve taken a step back and you hate it but you’re willing to do it for less stress. Harriet was a little apprehensive when you told her, that she needed you on board for this newest client, that the product was about to launch but you didn’t back down. You told her that you weren’t backing away, but just taking on less of the load. Emily and Kelsie were happy to take some of the tasks; Hell, Kelsie was practically frothing at the mouth for the opportunity to add on some more responsibility than she already had. She told you herself she wanted most of the glory since this was her first big client.
“Bit of a shitty thing for Harriet to do, guilt trip you like that.”
You shrug. “That’s just Harriet. I’ve grown used to it,” you say. “Been there long enough.”
“Since graduation, right?”
You nod. “Yup.”
“Ever thought about leaving?”
Your eyes widened as you turn to look at him. “Why would I do that? I’ve built myself up, I have a relationship and reputation with clients.”
Santi shrugged nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on the road. “I dunno. Seems like you’re underappreciated and overworked, from what you’ve told me. Is there no other marketing firm in Florida?”
“There is - “
“Shop around,” Santi said, as if he wasn’t asking you to consider leaving the only current stability you had in your life right now. “See if anyone is hiring, for a better position or just to be treated a little better.”
“I think it’ll be the same everywhere,” you say, laughing a little.
Santi shrugged. “Just putting it out there.”
You nod. “I mean...I’ll think about it. Maybe after Christmas. Or after I’m back from maternity leave.”
It goes quiet again for a few minutes before Santi asks, “What are you doing for Christmas?”
You shrug. “I have no plans. Beth offered to have me over again, but I feel like I can’t keep intruding on their time.”
“If they’ve asked you to join them, I don’t think you’ll be intruding.”
Your family had still not contacted you. You had messaged the group chat again, accepting that there would probably be no reply still (and there wasn’t). You had another episode, alone this time, sitting on your couch late at night, stereotypically sobbing into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream as you watched Home Alone. It had been your favourite as a child, and something you had watched together with your family, after you’d put the decorations up. This year, you had no tree, no decorations, and you watched it alone.
It had been a sad night.
“You could always...” Santi said a little awkwardly, before clearing his throat. “You could always spend it with me. If you wanted. You don’t have to.”
You look at him with wide eyes, but Santi keeps his gaze on the road, an air of nervousness surrounding him. “You...want to spend Christmas with me?”
“I would have asked you to Thanksgiving but I didn’t...my sisters...”
“I wasn’t expecting you to invite me,” you said, sensing his anxiousness. “Please don’t think over on that.”
“I should have invited you - “
“Santiago,” you say, firmly, causing him to give a quick glance at you before looking back at the road, turning to your apartment’s street. “I am okay. We are okay. You were visiting your family for the first time in years. I didn’t need to be there.”
He goes silent, his jaw tensing like he wants to say something else, but he just sighs through his nose and gives a tight nod.
You reach over to give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I would love to spend Christmas with you.”
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“Have you spoken to Gabs recently?”
You look at Courtney with a confused look on your face as you reach for your water. “I mean, I spoke to her last week about the kids’ Christmas presents. Why?”
You and Courtney had met up for some last-minute Christmas shopping, and you stopped for some dinner before heading home. You had to admit, Gabrielle had been a little off when you spoke to her last week and you had asked if everything was okay, but she had just told you it was Christmas stress. It wasn’t so farfetched, Gabrielle hosted every year for her and Matthew’s families, so of course there was no reason to not believe her.
“Hm,” said Courtney, her brow furrowing. “She’s been a little…weird.”
You shrug. “I mean…she seemed off when I spoke to her, and I asked her about it but she said it was Christmas stress.”
Courtney shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just…bugging me.”
“We could talk to her about it,” you say. “But you know Gabs, she’ll come to us eventually when she’s ready to let us know what’s going on.”
Courtney shook her head for a moment before giving you a look. “You’re right. You’re right! I’m just worried about her.”
“She’ll be fine,” you say. “You know what she gets like at Christmas, she’s hosting for everyone. And you know Matthew’s family.” You give Courtney a pointed look.
Courtney pulled a face. “Yeah. They’re assholes to her. But she keeps hosting!”
“Look, we tell her this every year and you know what she says – “
“’It’s only once a year’,” you both say in unison.
“Exactly,” you say. “So she’ll probably be back to normal after Christmas.”
“Fine. Fine,” said Courtney. “Let’s talk about something else. Like how you’re spending Christmas with Santiago!”
“I am,” you say, feeling your cheeks warming slightly.
“I think that’s nice,” Courtney says. “You’re like...starting your family. Getting the traditions in.”
You nod. “Yeah, I think so too. If this is something we do every year, then best start now, right?”
“You going to his place?” Courtney asked, before thanking the waitress for bringing your food over.
You nod, also thanking the waitress. “It’ll be easier since most of my stuff is packed up now. Thanks again for that, by the way.”
“No problem,” Courtney said, digging into her food. She gives you a grin. “It’s exciting, but also a little sad. It’s the end of an era, but the start of a new one.”
“In a month’s time, I’m going to be a mom,” you say, your eyes wide as if you don’t quite believe it yourself. “How weird is that?”
“Stop it,” said Courtney. “Who knew you would be the next one to have a kid?”
You snort, tucking into your own food. “I don’t think anyone thought I would have a kid, full stop.”
“No,” said Courtney, shaking her head. “I think you would have. Just in ten years.”
“Well, life didn’t work out how I’d planned,” you said, laughing. “But it’s good. Life is good.”
“And you’re happy?” Courtney asked.
Were you? Happy? You go quiet as you think. Obviously, you hadn’t planned to get pregnant, and with twins for that matter, in your tiny one-bedroom apartment, or not be speaking to your parents, or be questioning your job. But here you were, about to finish the year with a new house, amazing friends, new babies, and Santi.
Oh, Santi.
You never thought you would have met someone like Santi, even though you both weren’t together-together. You were lucky to have him; most men after one-night-stands would have left by now, but not Santi. He was sticking around, and in it for the long run. And honestly, you know he wouldn’t feel the same way about you than you felt about him, but he loved you as a friend and the mother of his kids, and you adored that he wanted to help you raise these babies together.
You slowly smile and look at Courtney. “Yeah…yeah, I’m happy.”
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You pull up outside Santi’s apartment, taking a deep breath before climbing out of the car. You'd been simultaneously looking forward to Christmas with Santi, and dreading Christmas with Santi. He told you that it was his first year spending it in Florida since returning from Colombia and warned you that his Christmas dinner would probably be something he could quickly rustle up and wasn’t too much hassle - ‘very non-traditional’ was what he said. You didn’t mind; the year had been incredibly ‘non-traditional’ for you anyway.
You make your way up to his apartment, a large bag of presents in your hand. You knock, biting your lip nervously as you waited for Santi to open the door. You look up as the door opens, and you give a laugh at Santi. He was wearing an obnoxiously bright red jumper with a Santa knitted into it, and a Santa hat, and was wearing his usual jeans. He had a bottle of beer in his hand.
He holds his arms out wide as he grins at you. “Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas,” you say as you step inside, still laughing at his outfit.
Santi closes the door behind you before he brings you into a quick hug. “I don’t have much of an itinerary today, but Frankie and Sarah might stop by later with Sofía.”
You nod, pulling back from him. “That works out, actually, because I got something for Sofía,” you say, motioning to your bag.
Santi gives you a small, closed-lipped smile. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know I didn’t,” you say. “I wanted to. They’re a big part of your life, therefore, they’ll be a big part of our kids’ lives.”
Santiago doesn’t say anything as you make your way into his living room, where he had a small Christmas tree in the corner, overly decorated. You hear Santi make his way into the kitchen as you took the presents out of bag and placed them underneath, smiling as the pile grew. You look up as Santi makes his way into the living room. “Some of these from your sisters?”
He nodded, handing you a can of Diet Coke. “Yeah. I saw them last week, dropped off gifts then. I just got off the phone with them, since my nieces had just opened their Barbie dolls, with their cars, and pets, and accessories...”
You giggled, opening the can. “There’s an awful lot of girls in your family.”
He nodded, grinning. “I have a few cousins who are guys, who had a few boys. I'm not totally overruled.”
You give a small laugh as you sip at your drink. “So, do you want to do presents now? Or later? We could eat first, if you wanted.”
“The empanadas are resting in the fridge, and I have mac and cheese in the slow cooker,” said Santi, taking a gulp at his almost forgotten beer. “Got all sorts of vegetables and potatoes roasting in my oven too.”
“Sounds like a feast,” you say. You could feel your mouth watering. “Maybe we could eat soon?” you give Santi a big smile.
He chuckles at you before nodding. “I’ll put the empanadas in.”
You nod as Santi disappeared back through the kitchen. You look at the presents, and the small tree, and the fact that his living room was bare of any other decorations. Your mind wandered to the fact that this was his first Christmas since settling down, that he was in an actual home and not in a shack or seedy motel somewhere in South America. You really appreciated that he offered you his place for the day, that he’d gone out of his way – and his comfort zone – to bring you into his space again.
“Are you okay? Did something happen?”
You look up at him, blinking in confusion before you realise you were crying. You give a small laugh of slight embarrassment. “I didn’t realise I was crying, I'm sorry.”
“Don’t apologise, cariño,” he said, taking a seat next to you on the floor, giving you a concerned look as he rested his hand in the middle of your back. “Is there anything I can do for you? I knew today would be difficult, I don’t want you to be here if you don’t want to be - “
“No, Santi, really, I'm fine,” you say, cutting him off. “I’m just hormonal. I cry at everything.”
He hesitated for a moment before asking, “I don’t want you to feel obligated to be here, just because I asked - “
“I want to be here, Santi,” you say, reaching over and squeezing his hand that was still wrapped around a beer. “Really, I’m fine. I just...I like that I'm here, you know? I like that you want me here.”
Santi paused for a moment, looking at you before he gives a grin. “Of course, I want you here.”
You give another weak laugh. “Okay then.”
You help him in the kitchen with the food, and of course as soon as you sit down to eat, Frankie and Sarah make their way through with Sofía, profusely apologising for interrupting for not texting beforehand. Santi told them it was fine, and after a few hugs and a quick catch up between you and the Morales’, you all sit to have something to eat.
You get to know the Morales’ a little more intimately than you did on Halloween; you were in a smaller setting with fewer people, and Sarah wasn’t so distracted by the other guests. She was fun, and loud, and someone you could see getting along with for a long time. Frankie was the opposite; quiet, and observant, but you could see how much he opened up to Santi. He wasn’t rude to you at all, including you in the conversation when he could, and you could see why Santi loved him so much.
And then there was Sofía, who giggled at everything you said, and kept trying to steal the mac and cheese on your plate, even though Sarah kept adding more to her plate. You didn’t mind, but Sarah insisted she stop doing it (“It’s becoming a whole thing, we’re trying to nip it in the bud now, while we can!”). When you all finished dinner, you offered to do the dishes, but you were rebuffed when you were lead into the living room, Santi quickly clearing up the plates, saying he’d ‘deal with them later’.
Sarah plonks you down in the armchair by the tree before she hands you an envelope. “This is more for when the babies are here than right now, but it’s valid for three years.”
You look at her in confusion before you open the envelope, mouth falling open as you take a look at the expensive gift voucher. “Sarah, I can’t accept this!”
“Oh sure you can,” she says, waving you off.
You thank her profusely, before you lean down and grab a few boxes from under the tree. “I got some things for Sofía – “
“You didn’t have to do that!” cried Sarah.
“Don’t be silly, here,” you say, handing the toddler the boxes, who took more interest in the wrapping paper than the actual present.
As you and Sarah sit, you look up for Santi and Frankie, who were strangely quiet. You’re taken aback to find them stood close together, quietly arguing with one another. Frankie was pointing at Santi’s chest and saying something too quiet for you to hear, but it was filled with anger, nonetheless. Santi merely argued back.
You look away, putting a mental note in it. You’ll ask Santi about it later.
As Sofía played with the wooden doctor’s set, and the baby doll that you’d gotten along with it, you chatted to Sarah before Frankie finally made his way over. “I think we oughta go.”
Sarah nodded. “Shoot, you’re right, we promised we’d see your mom like, an hour ago.”
As they gather their things and say their goodbyes (Santi and Frankie were still tense), you and Santi were left alone. You look around and sigh, before looking back at him. “What was that about?”
“What?” Santi asked, going around the living room and collecting wrapping paper, avoiding eye contact.
“You and Frankie, what were you arguing about?”
“Oh, nothing,” said Santi, shaking his head. “Something stupid with Benny, you know how it is.”
You don’t feel like he’s telling you the truth, but you know if you pry, Santi is more likely to close up. You slowly nod at him. “Okay. Sure, yeah.”
He finally looks at you and gives you a tight smile. “Everything is okay, hermosa.”
You hesitate before nodding then glancing at the presents under the tree. “I think we should do our gifts now.”
“Okay,” Santi said, before patting you on the back as he passed you to go back into the kitchen, tossing the papers away.
You settle on the floor by the tree, and lean over and grab a few gifts, placing them by Santi as he joined you moments later. “I didn’t go overboard - “
“I don’t believe that,” Santi said from his own place under the tree before he pulled out a small box, wrapped somewhat neatly, and placing it in front of you. “Now, this doesn’t look like a lot but - “
“Stop, Santi, it’s fine,” you say. “It’s about the sentiment.”
Santi nodded, before going quiet, glancing at you at the present. You grin and nod to him. “You go first.”
He gives a small laugh before nodding at the boxes in front of him. “Any particular order?”
“Nope,” you reply.
Like a child, Santi didn’t have to be told twice. He immediately tore into the gifts, smiling widely at the new shirts you’d bought him, and a nice watch. He immediately put it on, before admiring it.
“This is nice,” he said, still admiring it.
“I know you like swimming, so it’s waterproof too,” you say. “And it tracks your exercise. Since you refuse to get an Apple Watch, I went for the next best thing.”
“Thank you, hermosa,” he says, before opening his last gift. He pauses as he looks down at the strap for a guitar.
“I know you’ve been trying to get back into it, and I know your current strap is falling apart,” you say, smiling. “I thought you could do with an upgrade. And look!” you pull the strap from the wrapping before finding the end and pointing. “I have it engraved with your initials.”
“This is…this is great, cariño. Thank you,” he said, before he stands quickly and leaves the room. He comes back a few moments later, guitar in hand as he settles back on the floor with you, practically ripping off the old strap. He puts on the new one, and why he was fiddling with it, he pushed the small box towards you. “Like I said, it’s not a lot…”
“Santi, please,” you say as you open the gift. You pause at the sight of the Tiffany box, glancing up at Santi who was now looking at your nervously.
You open the Tiffany box, to find a silver chain-link bracelet, with a charm of a Christmas tree hanging off it. You gingerly take it out the box, looking at it more closely.
“I have more charms, but I can’t give them to you yet,” he said. “I got the tree because it’s…it’s our first Christmas together.”
Oh my God, you might burst into tears.
No, actually, you’re already crying.
“Santiago,” you say, in a high-pitched cry, looking at the bracelet, at the delicate green charm of the Christmas tree.
“Oh, no,” he said, scootching over to you and bringing you into his arms, where you sobbed into shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. If you don’t like it – “
“Don’t like it!?” you cry, pushing away from him, looking between him and the bracelet. “I love it. Put it on me!” you shove it at him before presenting your wrist to him.
Santi chuckled as he shook his head in disbelief, carefully fastening the bracelet around your wrist before he gave a soft kiss to the warmth of your skin. Your heartbeat loudly in your ears as Santi gave your wrist a squeeze and he looked at you with a warm smile on his face. You look at the bracelet, the charm sitting pretty. You smiled widely at it, tears still falling down your cheeks.
“Please, stop crying,” laughed Santi, reaching up to wipe your years away.
“I can’t,” you say, laughing back as you look at him. “I’m pregnant, and hormonal, and you got me a really nice, sappy gift. I love it.”
“Good. I’m glad.” He goes quiet for a moment before he swallows nervously. “I…”
You look at him as he goes quiet. “Yeah?”
The two of you just staring at each other. Eyes locked onto his, you search for the words that seem to linger unspoken on his lips. There's a certain vulnerability in his silence, a hesitance that hangs in the air like the delicate balance before a confession.
"What is it?" you prompt again gently, your heart quickening in anticipation.
His eyes flicker nervously, and you can almost sense the internal struggle within him. It's as if he's wavering on the edge of an abyss, grappling with emotions that have finally found their way to the surface. Could he…could he be trying to say what you think he…
He takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling in tandem with the weight of his unspoken words. You can feel the gravity of the moment, the tension building between you two, as if the universe itself is holding its breath in anticipation of what he's about to say.
“The next charm you’ll get is in a few weeks, at the baby shower,” Santi finally said, after a long pause.
Oh. That wasn’t what you expected at all. You were –
Wait.
You pause, your brow furrowing as you look at him, tears finally stilling. “The what?”
Santi freezes, his face falling as he looks at you. “Oh, shit.”
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Tagged - @khonsulockley, @bluenredndeath, @superficialfeelings, @othersideoftheparadise, @beezusvreeland, @itsmytimetoodream
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kopfkino-o · 2 months
Text
The Seer's Stone - Chapter 6 (Az POV)
Summary: Azriel is being pushed to his limits, driven half-mad by his increased workload, Koschei’s recent movements, and the unaddressed feelings still hanging between him and Elain. His mind is at war with himself, thoughts and regrets constantly battling with him, but when an old acquaintance comes calling he feels compelled to answer, bound by loyalty and duty he sets off to find what very well might be his own damnation.
Pairing: Elain x Azriel 
Timeline: Post-ACOSF
Wordcount: 1970
Read:
Chapter One | The Crone’s Trade
Chapter Two | The Oracle of Seraphyros 
Chapter Three | Last of Our Kind (Azriel)
Chapter Four | An Empty Seat
Chapter Five | Death and the Lovely Fawn - UPDATED
Author’s Note: Hope you all enjoy! More below 💋
PHEW! After several months of insanity (see: moving to a new city, taking on several new projects at my day job as a graphic designer, getting engaged, traveling to Europe to be in a friend's wedding, hurting my knee again (rip lmao), and the general chaos of being alive) I am so excited to be back writing again. And even more excited to share this latest chapter of the Seer's Stone with the world.
Writing took a back seat within my life last year, due impart to the aforementioned chaos, but also due to some personal anxieties I had about sharing my work. It's irrational, I know, writing is writing, art is art! But still, I found myself lacking confidence and facing a ton of writer's block, but I found some new inspiration through my professional creative work, had a few friends that really helped to cheer me on, and had a lot of downtime after my knee surgery to think about and play around with my craft. All that being said, I'm really really glad to be back at it and revisiting this story, and learning through writing fanfiction.
My plans for the fic haven't changed (too much), but I do think I ought to note that I made some edits to the last update, Chapter Five | Death and the Lovely Fawn, that I feel like I just needed to make to provide clarity/build up for the direction of the story.
Lastly, I just wanted to say thank you to the folks who reached to me about this fic even when I wasn't actively updating it and offered me support/encouragement. This meant so so much to me, more than you all probably know, and I just wanted to say thanks for that.
This one's for you guys.
xoxo, Court
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There was a building headache in Azriel's temples.
Every beat of his heart reverberated through his skull like a war drum. Azriel worked his jaw, grinding his teeth. There had always been something about the dank darkness of the Hewn City that pressed down on him like a fist, but the hateful place was particularly grating tonight.
Wrong, his shadows murmured, this place is wrong
"Hush," he snapped back at them, in no mood for their whisperings.
The floor shifted underfoot, and the long, stone passageway changed before his eyes, writhing as if it were a living thing. To anyone else, the illusion might have been nauseating, but these tunnels and their strange enchantments had become second nature to him during the time he served beneath Rhysand's father.
The old High Lord had personally keyed the spells into the oily stone walls to prevent his captives from ever learning the true layout of the tunnel system. And, perhaps, to also remind them they were so far beneath the earth they could only dream of feeling the warmth of the sun on their faces again.
He had been cruel like that.
Azriel rounded a bend in the stone and found himself in another long hallway carved directly into the mountain. Only this hallway was lined with ancient, half-rusted cell doors—cells that housed the worst of the Night Court's filth. Or at least, what was left of them.
Halfway down the corridor, Feyre and Amren were waiting for him outside one of those cells, the High Lady and her second-in-command half-concealed in shadow, their whispered voices echoing queerly off the rock walls.
Both females fell silent when they caught sight of him. Something twisted in Azriel’s gut. For them both to be here, in the dead of the night, with Nyx still so young and Varian here in Velaris on a short respite from Adriata, meant something was wrong. The look on Feyre’s beautiful face only confirmed that. Something was very, very wrong.
“You’re late,” Amren snapped. It was as much a greeting as he’d get from her.
Azriel matched the second’s same cool indifference. “I was in the middle of something when you sent for me. I came as soon as I could.”
“Off again, doing only the Mother knows what? You don’t fool me, boy. I can smell the Continent on you.”
“I come, I go. So is the nature of my work.”
“Is it, now?”
“If you intend to suggest I’m up to something you disapprove of, then by all means, Amren, do so now and let us be done with it. I’m not here to indulge in idle banter.”
The second-in-command bared her teeth, smoke-gray eyes glowing like two torches amidst the gloom, and for half a heartbeat, Azriel thought she might press the matter.
Then Feyre stepped forward and cleared her throat. There were dark smudges of exhaustion beneath the High Lady’s eyes, but she still looked as regal as ever in her Illyrian leathers, her carved ashwood bow and a matching quiver of arrows peeking up over her armored shoulders.
“Enough, you two,” Feyre said, voice laced with nothing but command. She shot both Azriel and Amren a warning look before folding her tattooed hands behind her back, taking up the position of authority fitting of both a war commander and a queen. “We have bigger matters at hand, and I didn’t leave my infant son asleep at home with a nanny just to come here and listen to you bicker.” She nudged Amren with an armored elbow. “So, won't you be a dear and update our lovely Spymaster on the situation at hand?”
Amren shot him one last distrustful look before answering their High Lady's command. "We picked up two...stragglers...trying to make their way to the Prison Isle. From what we've been able to gather, it appears they were attempting to make their way inside the Prison itself."
Azriel's brows rose. Sneak onto the Prison Isle? That was not only impossible, but it was complete and utter madness. A sick, sudden realization shuddered through him, so fierce it cut through the pounding in his head.
Elain.
Elain was trying to get access to the Prison for reasons still unknown to him. Her and the spellspinner she'd tried so diligently to keep hidden in the Library.
Azriel's shadows had brought him word of their machinations weeks ago, initially tipped off by the arrival of the young spellspinner, and catching Elain in his bedroom yesterday had only confirmed his suspicions, but surely she hadn't gone against his warnings. Surely she hadn't...
"Something wrong, boy?" Amren crooned.
He ignored her. "Tell me everything," he said to Feyre.
"One male, one female. Both don't seem to hold any particular court alliance, but they were...dressed strangely. Almost as if they were trying to blend in with the Library's priestesses. Only their robes were gray, not white, and they carried no invoking stones." Feyre scrubbed a hand down her face. "Rhys caught the male on the beaches; I found the female still on the boat they'd used to reach the Isle."
Azriel might have sighed his relief if only Feyre's words weren't too much to stomach. Elain and her friends, and whatever wild plan they'd concocted, might be safe for now, but an unwelcome stranger trying to land on the Prison Isle was nothing to take lightly. And the fact Azriel, nor his shadows, had seen it coming rankled him.
"I tried to talk to her, wanted to know who she was, why she was there," the High Lady continued. "But she pulled a knife before I could get to her. I watched her open her own throat. Tried to heal her, but to no avail, little thanks to the poison on her blade." Feyre shook her head then tossed a thumb towards the cell door. "Rhys is inside with the male. He won't speak, though. He just keeps... singing."
"Singing?" Azriel echoed.
"He means to mock us," Amren murmured.
It was Feyre who ignored the second-in-command now. The High Lady tipped her head towards the cell door. "You'll see." She said. "We'll be waiting at the Riverhouse for your report."
And with that, Feyre reached a hand for Amren and winnowed them both away, leaving Azriel alone with his pounding head, the ancient black stone, and the iron door looming before him.
Azriel drew in a breath. Down, down, down he sank into himself before he strode for the cell door and shoved it open.
The sharp smell of blood and piss and fear arrested his senses as soon as he stepped into the dimly lit cell.
Old memories reared their ugly heads, taking him back to a different time where he came to these very cells to serve a far different lord. Truth-Teller warmed at his side, steadying him. Azriel wrapped a hand around the dagger's familiar hilt and shoved the memories back inside their iron cages to rot.
He made a quick sweep of the room when his eyes finally adjusted. Shadows clung to the corners of the narrow cell, dark enough to conceal his brother's powerful form hidden within them. Rhys was the darkness here. Anyone else might have missed him, but Azriel knew his brother's scent, the sound of his breathing, and marked where he stood in one of the shadowy corners.
In the center of the cell, bound and blindfolded, sat the captive. His gray robes were bloody, his lip split and broken, but he was singing just as Feyre had promised. Singing some horrible old song.
"...blue blood, red blood, blood black as a moonless night," the captive's voice echoed off the cell walls, garbled and made watery by his mouthful of broken teeth. "A pound of flesh, a pound of bone, a gift for a maiden made of light..."
Azriel's shadows swarmed. They flowed across the old stone floors to circle the captive like a pack of hungry dogs, writhing and twisting as they tried to make sense of him and his strange song. Almost as if the song had offended them. As if it scared them.
The darkness melted, and Rhys appeared from within it, arms crossed and brow furrowed, the mask of the High Lord in perfect place. Stars were dancing in his violet eyes, cold and unyielding, burning with a hunger Azriel himself knew all too well.
"He's been at it all night," Rhys said softly. "The same two verses of the same song, over and over again. It's driving me fucking mad."
"You scramble his brains or something?" Azriel asked.
"Would that I could. His mind is impenetrable. Practically walled off with solid obsidian. I've never seen anything like it."
"He's been prepped on how to face a Daemati, then."
"Or spelled to keep one out of his mind."
The words rose a chill within him, and Azriel found himself watching his brother more closely. Rhys worked a tick in his jaw, violet eyes churning as he assessed the battered man babbling his strange song.
"...away, away, at the crown of midnight..."
Azriel had never heard the tune before. Yet, it rankled him somehow. Dragged cold talons through his guts as if it were trying to make a home there.
Pain pricked behind his eyes, blooming like a thousand burning stars.
Azriel rolled his shoulders, fighting the headache, and drew in a deep breath of the rank air, descending deeper into that inside, readying himself for what was to come.
"He'll break," he said softly.
Rhys did not look at him as he replied. "I know."
Eventually, they exchanged the briefest, most fleeting of looks, but the silent words that passed between them meant everything. Rhys's eyes reminded him that Azriel did not have to do this. That he was, in fact, not his father's son. That this Night Court was a court of dreamers, of sons who were forgiven of the sins of their fathers, of daughters free to live as they pleased.
But the weight of duty had been taught to Azriel decades ago. And it was not a lesson so easily forgotten.
Skin slips easier off the smaller bones, blood congeals at the joints, and the mind always, always fractures first.
The old High Lord had taught him those things. Had made sure Azriel knew them, committed them to his memory so he might never forget his purpose. His worth. The thing he'd been made for.
Azriel slid Truth-Teller from its sheath. "Leave us," he said to his brother, voice soft as night. "I'll bring my report to the Riverhouse."
Rhysand put a gentle hand on his shoulder, the gesture made as if it might spare him, as if it might change what he was and the things he was born to do.
It wouldn't.
Azriel had stopped telling himself such follies a long, long time ago.
So he waited until his brother closed the cell door behind him. Waited until his shadows drank the last bit of light from the dank cell. Waited and listened as the prisoner whimpered the last verses of his swan song.
"...a sword for the son, a horn for the Queen, and dagger for their fool..."
Once, when he was just a boy, the shadows had taught him there was a place he could go, somewhere he could hide from his father's wrath, from his brothers' hate. Somewhere deep within himself. A place where he felt nothing, saw nothing.
Was nothing.
Azriel went to that place now, hiding somewhere deep within himself. He thought of roses as he raised Truth-Teller to the pale flesh of the prisoner's chest and began to cut.
Blood bloomed and the ache in Azriel's head erupted like a thunderclap.
And a dagger for the fool.
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