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elliesdoll · 1 month

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pt. 3 to my angsty loser!ellie thingy 𝜗𝜚

pt.1 pt.2

nsfw! ellie cries lol, it’s kinda sweet? giggly sex at first, boobie sucking, ellie is kind of a weirdo idk… she makes out with your pussy, oral(e!receiving), fingering (e!recieving), squirt alert!, ellie cums way too fast, tribbing, desperate ellie like damn shes genuinely tweakinf. this is lowkey so nasty idk wut came over me

this is kinda long im sorry… AND NOT PROOFREAD im too lazy for allat. forgive me for any typos i will not be fixing!😊

daily click don’t buy tlou palestine mp

she had no fucking clue what to do. maybe she could pull her pants up and push herself through the tiny ass window above your shower? leave and block your number, move towns, and change her name. maybe that would work.

she shamefully pulled her sweatpants up and wiped her wet fingers on the fabric, then hid her face in her hands. what the fuck was she gonna do now? she was so sick, so perverted. all ellie could do was imagine you in your room right now, feeling so betrayed by your closest friend for being so perverted in the safety of your own home.

ellie was secretly praying to die right in this moment. she’d die happily, if zeus decided to strike her down with a lightning bolt and disintegrate her, right on your tiled floor. why was she like this? she loved you so much, she couldn’t help shoving her hand in her pants at the sight of you. but in a sick way, it wasn’t from lust.

it was from love.

ellie told herself she had some sick masturbation problem, and she probably needed to be put on some medication for being fucking insane. she just couldn’t help it. your kindness made her heart swell so much that it made her horny, in the weirdest way.

ellie had gotten horny from other things before, sure. but that’s all it was. lust. you, you made her horny in the same way that you made her tummy get butterflies. she just wanted to love on you. she had so much love and affection to give, the only way to release it was through taking care of herself, shamefully.

which is what led her to be in the predicament she’s in right now. she swore she’d never masturbate again, after this.

after maybe 10 minutes of sitting in silence, she decided to leave the bathroom. no use in staying there forever.

the walk down the hall to your room felt so suspenseful and wya too fucking long. maybe it’s because her steps got slower the closer she got.

she had already composed what she was going to say to you. “I don’t know what you saw, but it’s not what it looks like.” and go from there. But the second she entered through the door and saw you sitting on your bed, looking up at her with the most intense look in your eyes, all that went out the window.

“i am so sorry.”

she mumbled, her throat having this large, suffocating lump in it from the urge to cry. before you could say anything back, she spoke again.

“i’m so fucking sorry, i don’t know what i was thinking. i— im so fucked up i know, you didn’t deserve that—“

she continues on, her hands gripping so tightly on the bottom of her hoodie, to the point her knuckles turn white. she doesn’t even realize the tears that spill down her face, not until the look on your face changes. your eyebrows raise, and you look almost like you’re pitying her.

“els… stop that. it’s okay. you’re fine.”

you say, standing up and getting right in front of her. you almost wanted to say sorry for intruding on her, but honestly— what the hell was she doing that for in the first place? you didn’t pry, only wanting to calm her down.

“i thought we could laugh it off. yknow.. like something we could look back on and smile about. no need to cry.”

you say softly to her, using that gentle voice you had whenever you wanted to be sincere. you even go as far as to wipe some of the wetness off her cheek with your thumb.

you were so good to her. she should be relieved to hear your response, but she’s not. it only makes her more frustrated.

“i can’t.”

she looks down at the floor, unable to look you in the eye.

“can’t? can’t what?”

you’re confused, why can’t she just move on from it? you really wanted to bury this memory and stay the way you were.

“i can’t move on.”

she blurts out, a few stray tears still rolling down her cheeks. you just stare at her for a moment, and then it clicks.

“oh.”

you knew exactly what she meant by that. the poor girl, she had her feelings for you all pent up inside of her for god knows how long. you felt terrible, for making her feel even worse about this whole thing. but at the same time, you felt unreasonably giddy.

the fact that ellie, your very bestest friend, had such a big crush on you that it brought her to tears? how flattering is that? you always had a little thing for her, but you brushed yours up as some silly friend crush.

but her tiny confession made your heart pound like nobody has done before.

you grab her hands and lead her to your bed, sitting her down in front of you. you were gonna set this right.

“ellie, why didn’t you tell me?”

she looks at you as if you were dumb. why in the hell would she ever admit her undying love for her best friend?

“because you’re… i don’t fucking know! you’re my best friend nd’ i didn’t wanna mess things up— n’ you have those stupid fuck buddies of yours and—“

oh, the fuck buddies. you now realize why ellie was so quick to leave your home that day she showed up unannounced. the poor baby probably had her feelings so hurt.

“you know, there’s a reason i never actually end up dating them, ellie. that’s all they were to me. they didn’t really make me… feel.”

you say, wiping the tears off her cheeks with one thumb. the way she looked at you made your heart melt.

“..huh? feel what?”

she raises an eyebrow, completely missing what you’re saying. you laugh, covering your eyes for a moment. you forgot you’re talking to ellie. you kinda have to spell it out for her.

“dude. i’m saying that you make me feel.”

she stares at you blankly. she really is doesn’t wanna assume, too afraid of embarrassing herself. you sigh.

“fuck, ellie. i like you too.”

you’ve never seen the girls eyes get so wide. is this even fucking real? ellie couldn’t believe her reddened ears. she doesn’t even have the capacity to feel embarrassed anymore. all she feels is absolute, genuine shock.

“are… are you sure?”

she asks quietly, sniffling a bit. the girl’s nose was still running from her humiliating breakdown in front of you. you almost get pissed at her stupid question.

“yes? the hell?”

you narrow your eyes at her, giving her shoulder as slight shove. she grunts and shoves you back, playfully.

“i was just making sure! i can’t tell if you’re fucking with me.”

“why would i be fucking with you? i’m not evil, ellie.”

she just shrugs, and lets out a slight giggle. she smiles a bit, wiping her damp, sticky face. god, how you loved her smile. it was the sweetest thing ever. both of you giggled for a minute, laughing at the absurdity of this whole thing.

after a few seconds of comforting laughter and smiles between the two of you, you realize ellie isn’t gonna make a move. of course she isn’t, even after that confession. ellie would never make the first move, no way in hell. so, you lean in and give her a quick peck on the lips, less than a second long. it caught her completely off guard.

her eyes widened so much, and her eyebrows raised so far up. you literally saw her cheeks redden, like you two were in a movie. she couldn’t stop herself from beaming at you. a large, toothy grin right that made her cheeks hurt. she didn’t even say anything, just grabbing the sides of your face and bringing you in for a kiss again.

she kisses so hard. her lips push against yours, you could feel her smiling against your mouth. she pulls apart for a second, just looking at you. then, she moves right back in.

the kiss is softer this time, more passionate. in ellie’s mind, she was gonna do this right. she’s gone over in her head thousands of times what she would do if she got to kiss you, to make love with you. she couldn’t mess this up.

you two make out for a bit, the smacking noises from the kissing makes your head feel fuzzy. you’re still pretty wet, from the kissing and the sight you saw earlier. after you pull away from her lips for some air, you give her this look. you want more.

“is.. is this okay?”

ellie asks, slowly kissing your neck and stopping just to look at your reaction. you smile and nod, finding her mannerisms to be too fucking cute. she was so eager.

ellie was in heaven. your skin tasted so good, and you smelled like you. her favorite scent. she peppered kisses over every square inch of your neck and shoulders, her hands resting on your hips. she didn’t dare move your top though, too scared to initiate it.

you slowly moved her shaky, clammy hands to the bottom of your little top, letting her grab it and guiding her hands upwards. you whispered to her in a reassuring tone.

“els, it’s okay.”

she just looks at you, pupils blown and nods. she slowly pulled your top off and over your head, letting your tits spill out right in front of her. of course she noticed you weren’t wearing a bra the second she came over, but it still took her breath away.

“holy fuck.”

she muttered, staring right at your tits. they’re better than she imagined. and she imagined them to be the most perfect tits ever. she couldn’t help herself, poor baby. she just had to lean in and take one of your nipples into her mouth. her left hand flew to your other breast, kneading the soft flesh.

the quick action made you gasp lightly, letting out a tiny whine at the feeling of her teeth nipping at your skin. she was tasting you. you felt her warm face press against your skin, as if she was trying to suffocate herself. you got a bit worried, so you tapped her cheek.

“e-els, you gotta breathe—“

you were cut off by her lips popping off your breast, a string of saliva connecting your nipple to her lips. she murmured a quiet “fuck me,” and immediately went to your other nipple, repeating the same motion.

your eyes almost roll to the back of your head. how the fuck was she so good with her tongue? the way she eagerly licked over your nipples until they hardened in her mouth, nipping at them softly. literally eating your fucking tits right in front of you.

“you’re so fucking beautiful. so so beautiful.”

ellie mumbles to you, forcing herself to get off your boobs. she could spend the rest of her life right there, but there was more to tend to. her hands went to the hem of your shorts, looking at you for permission.

as much as you wanted to say yes and let her do whatever the hell she wanted, you wanted to see her even more. you tug lightly on her hoodie, giving her a gentle smile.

“take this off first?”

say less. say fucking less, is all ellie thought. she stuttered out a quiet “okay, okay,” and nodded, messily pulling her hoodie off of her. you giggled as it got stuck on her head, and it made her giggle along with you. neither of you could stop laughing at any little thing the other one did.

you sighed at the sight of her in her sports bra and sweats, but you wanted that shit off too. ellie wasted no time either, immediately pulling off her sports bra. you didn’t even get to admire her beautiful tits before you saw her pulling her sweats off and kicking them to the side, leaving her in her spongebob boxers. they had spongebob printed all over them.

“interesting fashion choice,”

you said through a laugh, and ellie just smiled awkwardly. she would’ve chosen a different pair if she knew she was gonna do this. fuck her stupid past self for buying that pack of spongebob-themed boxers at spencer’s a few months ago.

“god, don’t look.”

she muttered, moving closer and kissing you again. you kissed back softly, still giggling a bit. nobody made you laugh as effortlessly as she did. her thumbs hooked around the soft fabric of your shorts and panties, pulling them down in one go.

all the words ellie wanted to say died in her mouth. she laid down between your thighs and was face to face with your pussy. your pussy. she thought she was going to faint, she swore she felt her vision going.

gorgeous, that’s the only word to describe you. you were absolutely soaked, your slick making your puffy pussy lips shine and look tantalizingly supple. your swollen clit, and those gorgeous folds. somebody pinch her.

the scent of your arousal filled her nostrils, and she moaned. a deep, guttural moan from the pit of her stomach, just by smelling you. your cheeks were so warm, as you lifted your head to peek down at her. you were gonna say something, but your throat closed on you the second her lips touched your cunt.

this, this was new. ellie had her nose and mouth shoved deep into your cunt, your wetness and warmth englufing her. you expected to feel her tongue push out her lips and onto you, but no. the first thing you felt was her inhaling. her nose sniffed your pussy so deeply, you fucking heard it. you looked down, confused, seeing a half-lidded ellie groan as she inhaled your scent. you didn’t say anything, literally just watching. nobody’s ever gotten off to your scent before, like ever. but shit, it turned you on way too much.

she mumbled something incomprehensible against your pussy, then slowly, languidly, started lapping at your cunt. her tongue pushing through your dripping folds and collecting every single drop of slick you had, and fucking swallowing it. swallowing after every couple of licks. you moaned, because what the actual fuck.

how did she make this so fucking hot?

it felt so good, but it wasn’t enough to make you cum. it was too slow. your hips greedily moved and pushed against her lips, but she didn’t increase her pace one bit. she was clearly doing this for her own pleasure. too pussydrunk to care. her eyelids were so low, but you saw her staring at you the entire time she ate you out. like clockwork, her tongue dipping into your hole, drinking you up like you were liquid gold.

after hearing enough of your desperate whines for more, she slowly moved herself up, the lower half of her face was completely drenched. she kissed the soft mound of your cunt, then up your tummy, through the valley of your breasts, and finally slowly kissed your lips again. tasting yourself on her tongue made you feel brain dead.

“eat my pussy, please…”

she murmured against your lips, giving you the tiniest peck on your mouth after she spoke. since when did she get so bold? it made you embarrassingly wet.

who were you to say no to her?

you simply nodded, and gently pushed her to the side so she could lay down on her back. you immediately got between her legs, as she planted her feet on the mattress. shit, she was so eager.

she lifted her butt and chuckled quietly as you pulled off her silly boxers. once they’re off, you’re met with the most beautiful sight. her auburn bush, decorating her cunt so delicately. it made your mouth pool with saliva. her pretty, red and needy clit poking out, just begging to be touched. she was so wet. you don’t think you’ve ever seen a cunt dripping this much before. she was already clenching in and out softly, drops of arousal leaking out of her and forming a tiny droplet on your bedsheets. you could’ve came from the sight.

“how long have you been wanting this?”

you ask her quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to her clit. her hips bucked into your face, and you smiled.

“ssss—so fucking long. needed you from the start… fucked myself to you s’much…”

she just kept spilling her guts to you, just trying to get you to put your fucking mouth on her cunt. your fidgety, nervous ellie that you knew turned into a completely shameless slut for you.

“yeah? you could’ve told be earlier, els.”

you tease her lightly, and she just whines desperately. you decide not to deprive her any longer, and lick a long stripe up her soaked pussy. she groans, hands flying to your hair and gripping it. your tongue licked over her clit, making her hips jolt upwards and further into your face. you had her a mess, babbling anything through grunts.

“mmh, so good…”

“jjjust like that, fuck me…”

“i-i love you. love you s’fuckin much,”

you kept sucking on her clit, letting her hips grind against your lips to her hearts desire. your left hand went to hold hers, your fingers being gripped so tightly that you felt your knuckles pop.

your right hand went straight to her pussy, unlatching your mouth from her clit so you can gather some wetness on your fingers. she groaned, and you slowly pushed in your middle and ring finger once they were slick enough. your lips went right back to her clit, sucking and licking on it again.

you got a good two pumps into her cunt before you felt them being squeezed tightly, and her voice suddenly turning high pitched and whiny.

“oh fuck!!— m’cuh.. cumminggg…”

she said quite loudly, and before you could even register what she was saying, you felt a large spurt of liquid splash onto your face. you slowly kept pumping your fingers, taking your mouth away as she literally drenched your entire face with her very theatrical squirt.

she squirted on you after only a minute.

you blinked, slowly pulling your fingers out of her and letting her catch her breath. once she regained most of her sanity from that, the humiliation set in.

she wasn’t supposed to cum that fast.

“oh shit, i’m sorry. i didn’t think… fuck.”

she said a breathlessly, looking down at your drenched face. she was so embarrassed, cumming pathetically fast. she wasn’t even properly fingered and she already made a mess all over you and your poor bed. but honestly, you didn’t care.

“ellie. that was probably the hottest thing you could’ve done.”

you smile at her, sitting up and wiping your face a bit, licking the residue off your hand. you give her a soft kiss on the lips, getting ready to settle next to her. but ellie has a different plan in mind.

“wait, i wanna make you cum.”

she’s shy with her words, as if she wasn’t slutting herself out for you less than a minute ago. she sits up, not letting you turn down her offer. she wants to make you feel good so bad. so, you let her do her thing.

but when she situates herself between your legs once more, lifting your right leg over her shoulder and kissing your calf lightly, you speak up.”

“oh, els. you’re not too overstimulated for that?”

you protest lightly, not wanting her to push herself. she shakes her head, not wanting to back down from this. this is what she’s wanted for so long. to make love to you, in the most intimate way possible.

“let me do this for you, please.”

her voice is soft and desperate, practically begging you. how could you turn down that offer. you smile warmly at her, and she takes it as your green light. she whispers a tiny “i love you” before lowering her sopping cunt and slotting it right against yours.

euphoric. mind fucking blowing. both you and ellie gasped at the sensation. your sticky, warm pussies pushed up against each other felt so good. you let out a slightly strained moan, and ellie slowly started to move her hips in a rhythm against yours. poor baby couldn’t even focus on her overstimulated clit— she was desperate to make you cum. and it felt way too good.

“oh, right there.. so good ellie.”

you let out a string of praises to her, and she just kept moving. the sloshing noises of your cunts mashed together was mind numbing. ellie definitely wanted to cry.

the way you two made love was so intimate. she felt so connected to you, no words could describe it. she started at your face with a fucked out expression, continuing the movement of her hips.

“gon…gonna cum, els…”

you warn her, and she keeps going. her hand grips onto your leg so tightly, fucking her cunt onto yours so deliciously.

“i know baby, i know. m’close too. gonna cum with you, okay?”

she rambles, voice unstable and shaky as you both reach your breaking point. you nod and keep whining broken parts of her name, your nails digging into her forearm.

with one last thrust, you two cum basically at the same time, your cunts leaking onto each other. she keeps moving her hips slowly until the overstimulation sets in, which forces her to pull away from you, her weak body plopping right down next to yours.

both of you lay in silence for a few moments, just enjoying your post-orgasm bliss. ellie’s hand snakes back over to yours, and your fingers immediately intertwine the second they touch. she looked at you with all the love in the world. and of course, you did the same right back at her.

she was still your best friend though, so you had to push her around just a bit.

“so, you wanna tell me why you own spongebob boxers?”

ellie smiles and shoves you lightly. yeah, she was so in love with you.

Ok baiii i hope u guys liked it! :3 i can’t tell if im satisfied with it but i tried… sending love xoxo

taglist: @lil-elliesgf @a-little-bit-of-everybody 🩷

#dolly’s stuff 𝜗𝜚 #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #lesbian #wlw #tlou2 #ellie x reader #tlou part 2 #ellie x fem reader #loser ellie #the last of us #ellie smut #i’m sleepy

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fuxuannie · 11 months

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↳ pairing : miles morales x reader

↳ synopsis : shenanigans with your favorite classmate :) (maybe even a secret crush)

↳ authors note : i'm rlly trying to expand through fandoms, plzzz don't leave i promise i still write hsrr ;o; !!!!! i'm gonna be on a LONG atsv brainrot plz <\3 wuts a proof-read idk what that iz (/j)

MILES MORALES was the new student two years ago, some people thought he was an oddball since the first day encounter with his dad.. but you didn't really mind it honestly. You had much more important matters to attend to, like not listening to gossip.

After learning he was in some of your classes, you decided to try and get to know the guy. He seemed pretty cool, and you never passed an opportunity to know someone new.

"Morales, right?" Miles hears from behind him, it's currently lunch and so he turns his head to see you standing there with a tray in hand. "Mind if I sit with you?"

Since that day, you two hit it off like crazy, with sharing interests and hobbies it wasn't hard to talk every single day and run out of things to talk about.

"So, my Uncle Aaron took me to this crazy place like 2 years ago maybe? But yeah, it's where I did one of my first graffiti art." He explained, leading you through the dark traintracks while holding your wrist so you don't lose him in the darkness. "Sounds cool! Is it the same one that you used in your essay?"

You listen to the echo of his laughter. "Yeah, it is.. He was a great man, made me who I am today."

The way he talks fondly about his Uncle makes your heart sting a little. Though you were never able to meet him yourself, the way Miles talked about him to you made it clear he was a man who loved his nephew like he was his own son, and it was like you could emphasize with his pain of losing him.

However your thoughts are interrupted at the loud sound of a light switch turning on, illuminating the room and different graffiti art drawn on the walls. Miles laughs at your breathless expression, admiring the way your eyes seemed to glow at the art all around you.

"Heeey, look at that!" You chuckled, pointing at the 'Expectations' graffiti you brought up earlier. "You were so much shorter back then.." And Miles rolled his eyes at that comment, knowing that you were referring to the silhouette on the wall. "Very funny."

Then you realize theres a section of the wall thats covered with cloth, and he notices how you take notice of it. Miles immediately clears his throat, puts a hand behind his neck and looks at the ground. "Oh, uh.. that's a work in progress. I wouldn't want you to see i-"

Suddenly his spidey-senses go off, the second he looks up he already sees you right infront of the wall and about to touch the cover. "(name)!"

Pulling it off, it reveals a wall full of.. you? You were surprised that the details were down almost perfectly, your nose shape, your eyes and your smile. It was all so perfectly done that in a way it could either be flattering or a tiny bit creepy.

Of course, Miles being your best friend, you may or may not sketch or write about him every now and then (or rather all the time) depending on which one you felt like doing, but he didn't have to know that.

"I'm.. honored?" You laugh, looking back at your poor friend whos pulled his hoodie over his head and his hands covering his face. "Oh, come on! It's not that embarassing- And it looks good I promise!" You tried to reassure him, but the boy has no intentions on budging.

"I forgot I had that." Miles mumbled to himself, ignoring how you pull on his arm to try and get him to show himself.

At some point you've given up, and let the guy wallow in his own embarassment for a while. Your attention shifts back onto the art wall, seeing the several doodles and actual art pieces that you can only assume Miles was working on for the past 2 years you two were friends.

The much smaller doodles were your favorites, ones where he made you a tiny little creature were the cutest ones, and at some point you noticed how so many of them involved.. him. He drew tiny moments of you and him holding hands, going on walks, sharing earphones and little cliche date stuff.

You were about to say something, but are stopped at the realization Miles was right next to you while his eyes never seemed to break contact from yours. "Miles?" You say in almost a whisper, seeing how focused his gaze was on you.

"I mean, we're both smart enough to realize it.. right?"

The urge to play dumb was strong, it really was, but Miles could see through you like he was staring at glass. That's how well he knew you, and how transparent you were with him.

"And maybe I'm stupid enough to make up delusions in my head but.. do you.. feel the same?"

The question leaves you stunned, stammering to find an answer, but the serious facade Miles kept up melts at your nervous reaction. He begins to laugh, digging through his pockets and pulls out a paper you recognize all too well, it had to be either a drawing or a poem you had written for Miles and considering one of your recent ones going missing.. if what he had in his hands was that one, it gave him more than an answer.

That realization makes you gasp, and Miles' laughter only grows stronger as you've now realized what's happening in its full extent. Miles liked you, and he knew you liked him too.

"You cheeky-" You try to grab the paper from his hands, but the tall piece of shit tip-toe's just to make sure you couldn't grab it. "Whaat? What am I, hm?" He'll playfully taunt at you, still unable to control his smile as he knows that deep down you enjoyed this banter just as much as he did.

You two continue to playfully argue for a while, laughter echoing throughout the abandoned area as hours passed on and on. The talk about either ones feelings never came to light, but you two were content with the moment, and in another time you'd talk about the confusing thing that is the feelings you both mutually share.

You had all the time in the world, right? Miles Morales wasn't going anywhere.

#˚₊· ͟͟͞��❥ bailu's candy stash #miles morales x reader #miles x reader #spiderman x reader #spiderman atsv x reader #atsv x reader #miles morales x you

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hottpinkpenguin · 1 year

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congrats on the followers!! and super excited for this event. am looking forward to see lots of good stuff! And i am also here to request! Can we maybe get some Nikolai smut with the prompt "Don't cover your face. I want to see you" 👉👈

A/n: has there ever been a more perfect specimen for smut fics? i think not. so, nikolai, thank you bb for being so perfectly FINE. here you go anon - hope you like it!! actually several of you requested nikolai smut, so this one's for all y'all, you're my people and i'm here for it.

18+ only!!!! MINORS DNI

Nikolai Lanstov X Fem!Reader Word Count: 2,342 Warnings: smut, absolutely no plot, unprotected sex, P in V, fingering, sprinkles of praise kink, creampie

(i'm sorry, i know i've already used this gif on another fic but srsly ppl wut else am i supposed to use for a nikolai smut fic?! this gif is unholy and i love it)

The knock at your bedchamber door was fast, urgent. Four sharp taps, rapid fire. You could hear his need in those knocks.

You weren’t far from the door, pacing with a suffocating mix of desire, impatience, and nerves. It had been so long since you’d seen Nikolai, you wondered if the arrangement you two had fallen into the last time you’d lived here would still apply. But those knocks told you everything you needed to know. He remembered, and you did too.

He was on you before the door closed behind him. His mouth crashed against yours, the familiar taste of his mouth awakening memories you’d tried so hard to suppress. His hands tangling in your hair, squeezing your cheek, ripping at the thin fabric of your nightgown. Desperate, hungry. Just the way you liked him.

He pulled back from the kiss just long enough to look at you. His gaze roamed over you like wind, a feral smile lighting up his face.

“Gods I’ve missed you.” His voice had grown deeper, so gravelly it sounded like a growl. That familiar heat sparked to life between your legs.

You grabbed him, twisting your fingers in the hair at the base of his neck the way you knew he liked. You kissed him deeply, your tongue shamelessly diving into his mouth, devouring every inch of him you could taste.

You broke the kiss, twisting his face away from you as you planted a line of kisses along his jawline, working your way back and down to the soft spot where his neck met his shoulder. You sucked, then nibbled there softly. His breath hitched in his throat, his head tipped back, eyes closed, giving himself over to you.

Your hands made quick work of the buttons at the front of his jacket, and he finished the rest, throwing it towards the chair in the corner of your dimly lit bedchamber. Running the tip of your tongue up to his earlobe, he moaned, pulling his undershirt up and out of his trousers. You reluctantly pulled back from him to let the shirt slide up and over his head before it too was discarded along with his jacket.

Your hands remembered the feel of his warm skin, the muscles of his back and chest flexing under your touch. You found his mouth again, his hands cupping your face. You let your hands travel freely, tracing your fingertips over his back, down the backs of his biceps, around the crease at his elbow, up his arm and over to his chest. You added pressure, leaving small white lines on his skin. He let out the smallest gasp at the sensation, his eyes rolling back in his head. You pressed your body forward against his, feeling the bulge of his cock pressing your stomach through his trousers. The heat at the apex of your legs roared, making you squeeze your thighs together, moisture beginning to build there.

“Missed me too, did you?”

The handsome smirk and devil-may-care glitter in his eyes took your breath in. If he only knew…

You let one of your hands snake its way down the front of his torso, your fingernails leaving a trail like a map over his abs. He shivered slightly, his smirk deepening as his eyes drank you in. More, more, more, his gaze said.

You pressed your palm against his hard cock, gripping it through his trousers. “Why don’t you take these off and find out,” you murmured back. Nikolai’s eyes went wild at the sound of your voice. You bit at the edge of your lip, relishing the feel of his member in your hand, the way he shuddered at your touch reflexively. You added pressure to your palm and began stroking the length of his shaft over the rough wool of his riding trousers.

“Saints,” he muttered, stumbling backwards on shaky legs to lean against the wall. It had been a long time for both of you, it would seem. A coil began to grow deep and low in your gut as you watched his face go slack at the feel of your hand on his cock, lost in ecstasy for a moment.

He snapped to quickly, coming out of his reverie with a look of purpose. He brushed your hand away from his cock, catching both wrists in his hands and turning you to swap places. His movements were strong but controlled, firm pressure but no pain. You let him lead you, and he stopped only when you were squarely against the wall.

“You haven’t lost your touch,” he murmured, leaning in for a quick kiss as he danced a finger along your jawline. “But I’ve waited too long for you to skip my favorite part.”

You were practically panting at his words, feeling loose and halfway drunk on the sight, sound, feel, taste of him. And he knew it.

Goosepimples ran up your spine as you felt his hands slip under the straps of your nightgown, guiding them back and over your shoulders. The thin gown fell to the floor, pooling around your ankles like water.

Rough, calloused palms traveled all over you: your arms, throat, breasts, down your sides and over to your backside, which he gave an appreciative squeeze. Then forward, around the swell of your hips, down the front of your thighs, before snaking inward. You stepped one leg outward, beckoning him higher. His right hand turned, palm facing upward, until he found his mark.

You gasped when his hand touched your pussy, warm and wet with anticipation already. You didn’t miss the self-satisfied smile he wore when he felt your readiness. His fingers spread your flesh apart and he began to work, starting with large, languid circles. It was torturously divine - too slow to do anything but tease you. You let your head fall back against the wood paneled wall behind you, your leg bending at the knee with a foot braced on the wall as you let yourself fall open to him. You bucked your hips forward, grinding down against your hand.

Reading your cues, his circles grew smaller and more focused, zeroing in on that sensitive bundle at the very center of you. His fingers found it effortlessly, dancing over it like he were plucking the strings on a lute. You gasped, the coil tightening as your body tensed.

“That’s it, my girl,” he cooed, stepping close to you, his breath warm as it fanned over your exposed neck. “Let me have you.” He bore down on whatever skin he could reach with his mouth - kissing and sucking and gently biting - drawing heavy, sighing moans from your throat. His fingers kept dancing over your clit, his pressure crescendoing and then retreating like ocean waves. You felt your bent leg begin to tremble slightly.

At that signal, Nikolai’s fingers plunged into you commandingly. You gasped, your eyes widening as your muscles squeezed around him momentarily.

“My beautiful, beautiful girl.” Two fingers - his middle two - began to pump, firm but gentle. Already slick with your wetness.

One of your hands traveled up to cup your exposed breast, your nipple hard as a marble. Nikolai watched your hand as you rubbed your palm gently over the nipple, your eyelids falling shut as the sensations of your body took over your senses.

“Nikolai, please,” you whimpered, grinding your hips against the rhythm of his hands, desperate for more.

“Beg me again,” he commanded, letting his forehead connect with yours.

“Please,” you moaned out, your free hand grabbing the wrist working on your pussy and driving it into you with the force you were craving. “Gods, please!”

Normally Nikolai would tell you to use your words, to tell me what you want. But after so long apart, the intricate push-pull teasing you two were so comfortable with gave way to raw need. He obliged your request, his hand pumping in and out, his two fingers stroking the spot inside you could never reach while his thumb continued its assault on your clit.

Your body was alight with burgeoning lust, every cell fluttering with a glittering energy. You felt your climax approaching fast and hard. Your moans turned louder into cries, the hand that had been working your breast now gripping the wall for support. Your other hand came up to tangle in your hair as you felt your orgasm crest. You turned, dragging some of your hair across your face just before you fell apart on his hand.

“Don’t cover your face,” he growled, his free hand catching your chin with his thumb and dragging you to face him. “I want to see you.”

You felt the cord snap at his words. You cried out his name, your face uncovered for him to see. Your pussy pulsated around his fingers, your legs shaking in time with your orgasm as you leaned back against the wall. Wetness ran down the inside of your thighs and over his hand, your mind fracturing into a thousand pieces, all of them saturated with him.

“That’s it, my girl. That’s perfect.” You vaguely registered the praises falling out of his lips as his hand pumped you up, through, and down the other side of your ecstasy.

You were still shaking, your senses barely rekindled when you felt the loss of Nikolai’s hand, followed swiftly by the feel of his palms gripping you under your seat. He lifted you from the hips, cradling you against him as your hands snaked around his neck. He carried you back away from the wall, turning and laying you down on your bed.

He hovered over you at the edge of the bed, rushing the trousers down over his ankles. His cock sprang free, full and eager. You reached for it, but Nikolai had other plans.

He ignored your grasping hand, stepping forward and lining himself up with your entrance only long enough to register your acknowledgement before he buried himself in you. His hips smacked against yours as you cried out his name. The feel of him stretching you, your pussy still throbbing from his hand, sent your awareness scattering again.

You felt Nikolai’s hands press down into the mattress next to your head, framing your face as he leaned over you. He hesitated, catching your gaze with his cock completely embedded in you.

“Let me have you,” he told you. His hazel eyes were bottomless to you, his words felt like a drug.

“You already do, Nikolai,” you replied. “Now, take it.”

He leapt at your command, his hips pulling away from you and then brutally slamming back into you. His cock dragged against you, reactivating that dwindling orgasm with a new fire. You let your legs lift up to twine around his rear, adding your own movement to match his. He was grunting, his brows furrowed in a mix of pleasure and concentration as the wet sounds of slapping skin filled the room, punctuated by your cries and his deeper, guttural grunts.

You tried to lift your head to watch him slide in and out of you, but he found your neck, gently but firmly pushing your head back to the bed. His hand stayed there, wrapped around the base of your throat with a possessive, dominating pressure, almost enough to press the air from your lungs but never enough to hurt.

“Fuck, I’m close. Y/n, I’m close, I’m gonna cum.”

You gripped his backside with your hands, pulling him into you deeper and harder with the final few thrusts he gave you. As he threw his head back, a long and loud primal grunt spilling from his mouth, you felt your own body’s desire snap a second time. He gasped as he felt your pussy squeezing around his pulsating cock, his thrusts scattered and not as forceful, but drawing out the pleasure you’d both been denied for so long. You screamed out his name, not caring who heard or what they thought or even if the sounds that you made actually sounded anything like Nikolai at all. He knew, and you knew - that was all that mattered. You fell off the edge of reason, twisting and writhing until you were turned inside out on a cloud of pleasure. Then you floated, hanging there, his warmth and the nearness of his body the only thing you’d swore you’d ever need.

You both settled back into your bodies slowly, the sounds of two sets of panting breaths drawing you down from the sky you’d fallen into.

He finally slid out of you, leaving you feeling woefully empty. You whimpered softly at the loss of him. He collapsed down onto the mattress next to you, the hand he’d left at your throat gently turning your face to his. You washed in the sight of him, the soft sheen of sweat covering his handsome face, his lips swollen and parted, his cheeks flushed. His hazel eyes danced like stars as he smiled at you. You smiled back, one of your hands finding his hair and swirling patterns against his scalp. He moaned, his eyes falling closed for a few minutes as the two of you relaxed in the relative silence. You knew it was only to give your bodies enough time to recover before revisiting the night’s earlier activities, and the thought of it made your stomach twirl.

When Nikolai Lantsov opened his eyes, that mischievous glint you loved so much was blazing. You knew what he was going to say before he said it.

“So you did miss me?”

You gave him a playful slap, laughing as he rolled you into him, squeezing you into a bearhug against his bare chest. He buried his head in your mussed hair, inhaling deeply.

“Actually,” you finally replied when you weren’t breathless from giggling, “I might need you to show me again exactly what I’ve been missing, all this time.”

Nikolai gave you a wicked smile. “Happily, my girl. Happily.”

And so you let him show you - again and again, and again some more…

#nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lanstov x you #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov requests #nikolai lantsov smut

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peterparkersnose · 1 year

Text

Sucks to Suck

pairing: Din Djarin x senator!reader

word count: 2.7k

warnings: near death experience, sexual references, sexual thots, not smut but sensual i guess?, alcohol consumption and drunk reader, respect of consent, SEXUAL TENSION and description of weaponds and snakes, tiny bit of body dysmorphia, swearing, takes place in between S2 of the Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett

The Mandalorian Airs Tomorrow!

a/n you guys see my padme reference there? huh? enjoy the tension the not angst but angst i loved writing this (it is 1am help i started writing this at 10pm) the sighing gif is literally din giving into his intrusive thoughts this whole story it was too perfect not to use (also i make up star wars planets lmao wut) my favorite mandalorian fic of mine besides secret

summary Din is Senator Y/N’s bodyguard and helps her after an attack

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read time: 10 mins 1 seconds

The Mandalorian your father hired to protect you while you were visiting planet Elaeia was less than ideal.

The same one who also came back to accompany you to a senate meet where there was a threat made against your life.

And the same one that followed you around your whole beach vacation.

Somehow he turned in to an on call babysitter for you. Every time you saw him waiting outside your ship you began to loathe the trip. And soon, he began to show up around your house. Didn’t your father trust you? You were way past the age for need of a babysitter. You were a young adult, you could be the babysitter. And you were a damn senator. But as always, you sucked it up and tried to make the best of the situation.

“Don’t you ever get tired of the suit?” you asked, trudging up the stairs of your luxury apartment you rented for the week.

“Never.” Din lied. He couldn’t count the countless times he had wanted to rip it off and spent a night with you. Chills sent down his spine as he tried to think of something different to ease himself into the long week ahead.

But you were work. Your powerful father was paying him more than any bounty could. He needed the credits more than he needed you, right?

“What do you wear under there anyways?”

He hesitated to answer. “Clothes.”

“Really?” you asked sarcastically.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he muttered, almost barely enough for you to hear.

“Where are you going to crash tonight?” you asked him, placing your bag on the ottoman in front of your bed. “Not tired,” he lied again. The way he wanted to hold you in that comfortable bed was-

He had to stop his thoughts there.

“What time is it?” you asked him. “Around 7.”

“Shit! I’m going to be late.” you panicked. “I’m sorry, I thought we had some time to rest.” you apologized, knowing Din was exhausted from the trip.

The dress that was already hung in the closet for you was what you were going to wear to the banquet tonight. Without even caring, you opened your bag and pulled out the bra you were going to wear for the night. Without hesitation, Din stepped out of the room. Not today.

The dress was a deep blue and was form fitted. It jutted out at the bottom, complimenting your shape. It had long sleeves and a low neckline where your necklace was going to rest that night. You tied your hair up into a large bun with a braid around the base.

“Your train is here…” Din said, stepping in the room carefully. “Thank you. Wait- Mando?”

His heart skipped a beat when you said his nickname. You had known his name for a while, but he still enjoyed it when you called him Mando. Din was stunned at how you looked. I mean, you always looked good. But he could imagine standing next to you at the banquet in a suit, your arm draped over his and a ring on your finger.

The armor didn’t exist in that world.

“Yeah?” he asked. “Can you get this for me?” you asked, handing him the necklace you were going to wear that night. It was gold. Large and resembled tree roots. It was to sit along your chest and clip under your breasts along with behind your neck to stay put.

He handled the necklace carefully. His arms reached up and placed the necklace in front of you as his fingers trailed up the back to clasp the neck clasp.

“Dank farrik,” he sighed. His gloves were in the way of handling the tiny clasp. “Hold it for a second,” he told you. Din sighed as he made the decision. He slowly slipped off each glove and set them down on the bed.

You seemed to tense when his hands brushed your shoulders. You turned your head and saw his gloves sitting at the edge of your bed. The skin was cold and his hands were surprisingly soft.

Din hadn’t touched a woman with his bare hands well… ever. Sure he had brought in bounties who could identify as female. But nobody as elegant and beautiful as you. He would never forget the oddly intimate encounter.

“Thank you,” you said smoothly, adjusting the necklace around your ribcage. “You could call this more of a corset,” you huffed, smiling as you caught a glimpse of his skin as he slipped his gloves back on.

Standing in the mirror, you struggled getting the bottom clasp closed. You turned your body, trying to see if you had gained a bit of weight since you last wore this piece.

“Din,” you called sweetly, almost with a bit of song in your voice. He turned around on his heel as you saw from the mirror and it made you smile. “Yes?” he asked in the same tone you called him.

The way you called for him made him think about one of the rare memories he had of his parents. How one called out to the other. It was a brief moment but gave him deja vu when he heard you speak his name. Speak his name like a wife would call to her husband.

“It won’t-”

The sigh from his modulator was hard to miss.

“Can you help?” you asked, eyes looking up into his viser.

“I’ll hold them, don’t worry.” you smiled, your hands branching down lifting up your breasts.

Under the mask his eyes widened at the comment.

Din got down on his knees to try to get a better angle of the clasp. No other reason. He tried his best to focus on the clip but he couldn’t keep his eyes off the way you held yourself. Thank the gods for the viser, or he would have died of embarrassment.

“How’s it going?” you asked him. You could feel him struggling again with the gloves.

“What if I…”

You attempted to hold your breasts with one arm and had the other hand come down to help him, but the plan failed. Your boobs folded over on his hands without fail.

His hands quickly retreated from your ribcage. You noticed the stress in his demeanor, his breathing quickened.

You thought he was upset with you. Possibly disrespecting his creed, you felt horrible. Guilt knit tightly in your stomach as you knew you were going to think about this event the whole night. The embarrassment was enough for a lifetime.

Din couldn’t care less about his creed at the moment. He had never felt boobs before.

“Oh god! I am so sorry,” you said in horror.

“I can have someone at the banquet do it, let’s just forget-”

You were silenced by the sound of his gloves hitting the ground. Once again, his hands were at your service.

“Let’s get this done. We’re going to be late.” he said.

Grabbing the chain once again, he clasped it on the first try.

He escorted you to the train silently. He held one of your hands in his. The other hand held his pair of gloves.

Din hadn’t even notice you grabbed his hand. And to be honest, you didn’t really either. It was an instinct. Trains always freaked you out and he knew that. The gap between the ground and the train car, the speed they went at. Commercial trains were filled with unsuspecting people. Thankfully, the banquet event sent out personal trains for some of the local senators.

Finally you only noticed when he pulled away to put his gloves back on as you pulled closer to the event.

Had he really been holding your hand the whole time?

Meanwhile back at the apartment you had rented, you expected it to be empty. There was no need for a guard, you had only just arrived. Your location to be revealed to possible rebels wasn’t likely, you were stationed there for only a short time. A guard would follow you home along with Din.

You knew Din was capable of protecting you, he had every time. Something about a man in armor killing in your name just did something to you. But the uncertainty of almost everything about him made you push that idea to the back of your mind. And anyways, you were bound to marry for a political reason some day. It was coming eventually you assumed. Dates were never nearly as exciting as an adventure with Din.

The guard honestly was a joke at this point. It gave your advisors a piece of mind though, so you allowed it.

The seemingly empty apartment was carefully broken into. The sliding glass door from the balcony was opened, no fingerprints left and promptly shut as the rebel left.

Poisonous snakes were left slithering in your sheets.

It was something you would later recognize as a similar thing had happened to a senator many years ago. Poisonous bugs left to crawl in her bed.

Din walked you off the train platform and back to your apartment as quickly as he could. You, on the other hand, we’re being difficult.

“Don’t you ever take vacations?” you asked him, barely able to stand upright. He ignored your strange drunken question and kept holding on to you. “You didn’t answer meee!” you yelled, breaking free from his grasp and raising your hands to the air. The mist had accumulated from the oncoming storm.

“No. I don’t.” he sighed, grabbing your arm gently and guiding you back to the lobby with a hand placed on your lower back.

“Din,” you slurred, holding on to his armor in the elevator. Your fingers marched up his beskar chest plate as you asked him this.

“You ever had a girlfriend before?”

He blinked furiously under his helmet. What the fuck?

“Y/N, let’s get you to bed. Hm?”

“But Dinnn,”

“Come on,” he sighed, placing his hand on your back. The guard was stationed at the door. Din gave him a nod.

“I’m not sleepy!” you insisted, angered that you were being forced to end this wonderful night.

Din threw his gloves on the kitchen counter. He was getting sick of the things. After all these years in gloves, his hands never felt as uncomfortable and sweaty as they did that night.

“Here,” he sighed, steadying you by the shoulder and unclasping the clasp by your neck. The heavy necklace seemed to fall off yourself, only slightly catching at the waist.

“Thank you mister.” you said, letting it drop to the floor with a shake of your hips. Along with that you left your heels.

He saw you face dive into your bed and chuckled a bit as he was picking up after you. That necklace was probably worth more than the beskar he was wearing.

Din eyed up the couch, exhausted after watching you all night. He stood in the balcony of the event and watched you drink yourself almost to the point of embarrassment until he decided it was time for you to return home.

He had just began to settle in when he heard you scream.

It wasn’t like he had heard you scream before. He was used to all the rage screams when an article came out portraying you negatively. He was used to all the screams over the phone with your friends. He was used to the muffled screams he heard as he hid in his quarters when you would have dates over and prayed it would end.

But he would never forget this one.

He knocked over the vase on the coffee table, but didn’t really care.

The prolonged scream attracted the interest of the guard who busted in, spear ready.

Din had made it in the room first. He drew his blaster watched as you simultaneously chucked a snake in his direction. His blaster shot, killing the thing.

“Are you okay?” he asked, grabbing you immediately. You wrapped your arms around his neck and cried into his armor.

The guard ripped back the sheets and found three more slithering in the sheets. The sight of that made you shriek more.

Din’s hand ran across the back of your head. His fingers hadn’t felt hair like that in forever. His own locks didn’t match up to your softness.

The guard removed each snake and silently killed them.

“Cardillian Greybecks,” the guard sighed, now bagging the snake carcasses. “I’m going to bring these down to the base, are you two all right alone or should I call someone?”

“We’re fine.” Din said sternly, praying for the man to leave.

He calmed you enough to sit you back down on the edge of the bed. “Everything is okay. No more snakes, see?” he says, shaking out a blanket.

“Fuck,” you sighed, your hand running down the side of your leg. “You alright?” Din asked, shaking out the pillows just in case.

“I must have scratched my leg in the scuffle, it really fucking hurts.” you slurred, rubbing the side of your leg. Of course the alcohol was still there.

“Oh gods,” Din sighed, asking for your leg immediately. Laying back against the bed, you lifted your right leg in the air for him to inspect. If he wasn’t so worried he would have thought the pose was somewhat provocative.

“Shit,” he sighed. You were bitten.

“What?” you asked eagerly, pulling your leg back. He held on to it though, staring at the festering wound on your leg.

“It hurts. Please,” you begged, pulling your leg back. Din was scrambling on what to do.

“This…” he sighed, hating the only option available. There wasn’t enough time to get you to a proper medic.

“Hold still.”

He slowly lifted his helmet up to the bottom of his nose to reveal his mouth and chin.

“Din!” you yelled as his lips made contact with your skin. “What the-” you began, but immediately soothed as you felt the venom leaving your bite. A needy moan escaped from your lips.

Din spat out the first round of venom. It stung his lips. It wasn’t enough to kill him, it wasn’t in his bloodstream. It tasted bitter and artificial.

“Oh my god,” you whined as his lips continued to suck on the wound. “Din, holy fuck.” you moaned, squirming in his grasp.

Even though you just had been on the brink of death, this was one of the most sensual things you had ever experienced in your opinion. The thought of his lips teasing you drove you up the walls.

He spit out another round. “One more, I’m sorry.”

You gasped at his voice. No mask, no modulator. “Oh gods, don’t stop.” you begged. Your back arched as he took in the final round, finally tasting blood to indicate the venom was gone.

He spit it out on the ground and slipped his mask back on.

“What?” he asked out of breathe. He had convinced himself he didn’t just hear what he thought he did. His ears were muffled by the mask in its awkward position.

Sitting up in bed, you patted the mattress. He sat down.

“That was so hot,” you whispered near his ear.

He didn’t say anything to you. You had prayed he would rip off his mask and take you then and there. Din wanted the same thing too, he would feverishly re play this night over and over in his mind for years.

But you were wasted. And he had a creed.

Even though after each passing day without Grogu his allegiance to his creed drew weaker, he still had his limits.

Din knew you would regret those words in the morning. But the phrase Cara told him many moons ago rung in his brain.

“Drunk words are sober thoughts.”

“Talk to me when your sober.” he replied. He stood up and removed the base of the helmet once again. You embraced his body as he kissed you on the top of your head.

“Din,” you feverishly whispered. Without a second thought, you stood up. His body pushed against yours as you passionately kissed his lips. Your nose bumped the mask up more, but neither of you cared. His nose brushed against yours as you kept your eyes shut. The urge to look was strong, but you respected him too much to take a peek.

“One day,” he smiled, breaking the kiss. “Are you sure I can’t see more?” you asked. He shook his head as he pulled the mask down again. “One day,” he repeated, his voice now modulated again.

“Thank you for saving my life.” you said. “Any day,” he said sarcastically.

He placed the blankets securely over you.

The room was dim enough where he was sure if he was ever caught he would have an excuse. And you would lie for him, he was certain of it.

“Just one more thing-” you asked as his silhouette made its way through your door. He turned and looked at you.

“What color are your eyes?”

He had the widest smile on his face. The thought of you trying to form his face in your mind was almost comical for him.

“Brown. Good night, Cyare.”

“I knew they were brown, I knew it.” you whispered to yourself, convinced Din couldn’t hear.

He smiled as he retreated to the couch, unsure if sleep would visit him after his eventful night.

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25

@peeta-is-useless @kirsteng42 @salliebley @bubsonnobx @lexloon @untitledarea @nyotamalfoy

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steddieas-shegoes · 8 months

Note

for your prompts if you're still doing 'em, (it's not really a sentence but still):

Eddie sitting in Steve's lap, doing his thing, being as normal as he can be. They're talking to each other in low voices, in their own little world (Steve's hands are probably somewhere in Eddie's hair, or in a place they really shouldn't be around the kids, you choose,) and the rest of the party just looking at them like "wut"

You choose the ending :)

Steve’s anxiety was through the roof, and since he couldn’t really figure out why, he’d naturally settled in his one guaranteed safe place: Eddie’s lap.

He was keeping his hands busy, braiding Eddie’s hair and letting it fall, braiding again, letting it fall.

Repetition felt good.

Especially as he felt the anxiety leaving his body with every braid.

Eddie’s hands were resting on his legs while he told him about the campaign he would be starting next week. They both knew Steve only understood about half of what he said, but it helped Steve stay centered in the moment, gave him something to focus on.

They were too busy talking to each other to notice that everyone kept throwing long, questioning glances their way.

Steve let out a giggle when Eddie’s hand reached up to poke his side, sensitive around the edges where his scars were the worst.

Eddie knew to be soft.

“Okay, what is happening right now? Please tell me I’m not the only one seeing this.”

Dustin’s voice was quieter than usual, which drew the attention of Steve and Eddie away from each other.

“How long has this been going on?” Mike asked, lip curling in anger or disappointment, maybe even disgust.

“When were you gonna tell us?” Lucas asked, sounding mildly hurt.

Steve and Eddie looked at each other, then down, as if just realizing their position.

Eddie raised his brow in a silent question.

Steve gave a single nod in answer.

“It’s been a couple months. Wait!” He yelled when they all started chiming in. “We were going to tell you all at the next movie night. We just wanted to get our feelings handled together before involving everyone.”

“Feelings? What are the feelings?” El asked innocently.

“We love each other. A lot. And it was easier for us to figure it out without everyone since this is kind of new for both of us,” Steve answered.

“So you guys are always gonna be this gross?”

“Watch it,” Eddie said to Max. “But yeah. Probably.”

“You have to keep the door open three inches,” El said. “That is the rule for love.”

Everyone burst out laughing, even El after a few seconds.

“I think we should probably keep the door shut all the way,” Eddie smirked.

“Gross!” Everyone chorused at the same time.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #headcanon #drabble

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quitealotofsodapop · 4 months

Text

Eating bugs.

I had to rewatch the episode to see that and yeah;

MK had a bug in his hair, and Wukong picked it out and ate ala monkey grooming instincts. Too big to be a louse, looks more like a silkworm in it's cocoon.

I bet he picked it up after getting slammed into the pavement - from personal experience no matter where you lie down in public, you *will* get a bug on you.

One of my fave hcs is MK's monkey instincts kicking in and he accidentally eats a spider before he realises. And promptly freaks out.

And because eating certain arthropods isn't considered as taboo in China (but still considered weird); MK's other family members have their own thoughts on the matter. Tang is 100% the parent who'd be like that one tumblr post about a guy eating spiders. Pigsy is with MK on the grossness of it.

Tang: "I don't see what the big deal is." Sandy: "Insects *are* a far more substainable source of protein than beef or fish." Pigsy, angry squeal: "Because its disgusting! You've no idea where it's been!" MK: "Thank you, Dadsy!" Tang: "MK, you ate fried silkworm grubs by the bucketful when you were little." MK, turning green with horror: "I THOUGHT THOSE WERE POPCORN SHRIMP!?" Pigsy: "That's what you were feeding my son when you took him to the night market!?" Tang, shrugs: "I'm a culinary explorer piggy. And if lil MK took a liking to my haul, who was I to deny him the boon?" Pigsy & MK, both at once: "BECAUSE IT WAS BUGS TANG!" Macaque, teasingly pokes head out of shadows: "Did I hear something about silkworms? I'm starving!" MK & Pigsy: *disgusted retching noises* Mei, the one who started the convo: *is busy recording all of this*

It gets so bad that MK will randomly ask other animal demons/celestials he comes across in his travels their thoughts on the matter. The answers are... less than encouraging.

MK: "Before we part ways, I have a big big personal question to ask you Mr Three Eyed God-sir." Erlang Shen, expecting a lore question: "Ok." MK: "Do you eat bugs?" Erlang Shen: "...define bug." MK: "wut." Erlang: "Because in the grand scheme of things, any creature that crawls with many legs can be called a bug. Crabs, prawns, and shrimp are in the same family as the common woodlouse." MK, despairing: "Nooo! Don't ruin shellfish for me!!!" Wukong: "MK, stop asking the gods if they eat bugs. They don't cook 'em good anyway." MK: *retching sound*

The poor monkey boy probably ignores these instincts for as long as possible, until one day MK takes a bite out of a giant bug monster and things quickly turn into Shaggy & Scooby vs the Cotton Candy Glob. Onlookers were horrified.

#insects tw #bugs tw #qi xiaotian #sun wukong #monkey mk #monkey facts #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #lmk sandy #lmk mei #long xiaojiao #liu er mihou #six eared macaque #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk hcs #lmk headcanons

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bunnakit · 5 days

Text

my stand in episode 1 thoughts, feelings, etc.

OHOHOOO FINALLY. FINALLY I FEEL INSANE ABOUT A SHOW AGAIN. poom phuripan my absolute beloved, i've missed you so fucking much.

the show really eases you into everything and so far i don't mind the back and forth, i think it's interesting to see the direct consequences and THEN the story of how we got here. i don't know if my opinion on that will change later but for right now it's really pleasing me. i also really like this gradual introduction we're getting into everything and the sort of thriller/mystery vibe to it all. it's giving me some very loose/vague manner of death vibes.

i immediately don't like the vibes of tong or wut but i'm reserving any real accusations until later, but i'm def side eyeing them. i've got my eye on you two.

it really took my brain some getting used to to understanding the joe we're seeing is joe's consciousness and everyone else is seeing the joe that was shown in his reflection in the hospital (i've never seen vice versa or many other shows that do this, forgive me) but once i wrapped my head around it i actually quite like it. mostly bc it means i still get to see a lot of poom.

anyway - thus far this has one of my favorite romance tropes; guy who is used to being treated badly/ignored and man who has too much love to give (to someone who may or may not deserve it, judgement withstanding on that rn.) joe is just such a heart eyed fool and i'm so glad to see poom in another role of lovesick, unfairly attractive, dork. it's a role he plays so well and he immediately endears you to joe so fucking much.

throughout most of the episode i was like ooh this is a bummer but the angst isn't too bad. and then. AND THEN.

ming coming over to joe's house and making a move on him, again, from the perspective of behind joe - where he looks so much like tong. the lamenting about him being a virgin and joe offering himself up to him. and then ming turning him back around to face the mirror. this way he looks so much like tong, he can pretend it's tong, and yet at the same time joe's face is right there, reflected back in the mirror, inescapable. i'm fucking eating this up, finally some good fucking food.

idk i'm probably not touching on everything i want to, it's been a long ass time since i've done one of these, but this is just what immediately comes to mind. now time to go make a gifset lmao.

(if you give me novel spoilers i WILL hunt you for sport)

#bunn meta #my stand in the series #my stand in #my stand-in #my stand-in the series #poom phuripan #up poompat #usersasa #clairedaring #<- lmk if you want to be added to tags or removed for future eps!!

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hhy5lost · 2 months

Text

ONE MORE TIME

GENRE —> ANGST, HURT

PAIRING —> H. HYUNJIN x F!READER

SYNOPSIS —> YOU WISHED MORE THAN ANYTHING TO RE-LIVE THESE MOMENTS WITH HYUNJIN, JUST ONE MORE TIME.

WC —> 455

I sometimes wish I could feel him again. His soft hand caressing my face as gentle as can be, carefully brushing my hair behind my ear as he looks at me lovingly. Like, I had hung the stars all for him. He's now became the star and it's truly cruel for this universe to take my love away from me when i least expect it.

It's only been a few weeks since he left. Sure, you still cry about him, wishing he was there next to you to help you with your nightmares like he always did before. Telling you that he's there for you, he's got you and nothing is ever going to hurt you as long as he's there. So, who's going to protect you now?

Instead of feeling more sorrow as you thought you would, you just feel out of place now. Without him, it always has been, though, without him for good and for this long you can't help but too feel lonely and like a part of you has left. It made a hole in your heart as soon as he was gone. You didn't know what to do with yourself then, you surely don't know what to do now.

He'd hold you gently yet firm, soft, plush lips against your forehead as he softly kissed it. Your head in his chest, inhaling his natural scent and relaxing the more you were intoxicated by it. All you have now is his clothes, his shampoo and conditioner and all of his belongings. A lot that still smells like him or are at least faded and lingering. The scent holding on for dear life, just barely, like you now, in a way.

Late nights like these, you'd be swayed into slow dancing in the dark with him. Quietly giggling and stepping on each other's feet on accident, shushing each other as to not wake anyone up in the dorms. Laying your head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat, enjoying the comfortable silence between the two of you as he hums a song quietly, one he knows you loved most. Although, you now can't decide if you hate it or still love it. The memories always seem to come rushing back when you listen to that song, causing you to cry all your tears empty. It always ends that way, you're wondering if that'll change somehow, though it seems not anytime soon.

As the moonlight shines through the window of the once shared bedroom. You can't help but to stare at it for awhile until sleep took over, dreaming sweetly of your now gone love.

You wish the next time you woke up this was some big, scary dream. unfortunately, it's not.

🏷️: @jinnie-ret @hannahhbahng @sharonxdevi @amararosesblog @lolareadsimagines @dunno-wut-to-do @baribaaari @miniminverse @lil-kpopstan @qweebsarse @atinyniki @michelle4eve @newhope8 @hongying52 @depressedvee @iyeeeverydee @kpopsstuffs @writingforstraykids-reblogs @palindrome969 @sona1800 @loveforhyunho @straykidsholicleigh

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vinetae · 1 year

Note

Only fans jk x y/n ( f ) with twt link

Ooooo, first time with a porno themed smut!

______________________________________________________________

Peaches and Cream - (M)

Genre: Pornstar/onlyfans amateur!Jungkook x Professional Pornstar/onlyfans!Reader

Summary: Jungkook got the chance of a lifetime to hang out with the whole reason he even got into the por- 'content creator' industry in the first place.

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: Handjobs, blowjobs, MOMMY KINK, Subby!Jungkook, Dom!Reader, mommyfigure!Reader (Literally I want her as my mommy but not mom ya feel me?)

A/N: This didn't really take long. The tittle will make sense later on (was originally gonna be Jungkook's OF username but I think that idea's already taken. well, what's not lmfao.)

Had to listen to some HARD Doja Cat during all of this.

Might feel a little rushed but it's 3am guys-

Recommended song for this little drabble:

Naked - Doja Cat

Options (feat.JID) - Doja Cat

Freaky Deaky - Doja Cat

(and ofc) - Blood, Sweat, and Tears - BTS

______________________________________________________________

His hand reaches out to adjust the camera. Clicking all kinds of buttons and switches to make sure the shots would be perfect. His arms flex, showing off each and every inch of his tattoo sleeve. Just when he's about to start the shoot, a notification pops up in the bottom of his screen. Clicking on the little squared box, his set upon his favorite 'content creator' wearing a black, lacy set. The fabric wraps around each and every one of her curves, dipping in the middle to show a peak of her cleanly kept bits.

He lets out a low groan, hand unconsciously sliding into the set boxer-briefs he'd slipped on prior to his own shoot. His palm wraps around the length of his cock, making a few drawn out stokes just to tease himself a bit. His thumb brushes over the slit of his tip, a chill sends up his spine at the feeling. His free hands reaches out, clicking on the 'start' button to film. He's quick to pan the camera even lower, revealing the casual-classic black set briefs he'd displayed. His screen's split into two, each one with it's own purpose.

Much like his hands right now.

"Mmm, fuck" He groans, hips rising up to meet his palm. The elastic of his boxers had been lowered just enough to show the base of his cock to tease the fans. He sets his voice to a deep, grunt-filled tone to please his audience.

"Mmmm fuckk. Oh yeaahh." His voice strains the best of his register, really wanting to go for that gruff and cold tone.

Curtains have to match the drapes, as they say.

His eyes flash towards the camera reading the comments.

'OMGGGGG how the fuck is this man's dick so pretty-'

'fuck me daddy 😵'

'I wish i was thereeee'

'fuck he's so pretty-'

'@Alicasheangel you can't even see his fucking face lmfao'

'@banshesthewoman idfk i just know he's beautiful'

'Siiiiimmmmmppppp'

'daddy?sorry. daddy? sorry. daddy? sorry-'

He silently chuckles to himself. His small fandom had always been horny crackheads but- damn.

His free hand reaches upwards, carding his finger through the sweaty locks of his hair. By that, the chat comments go off. It looked to be more than 1,000 comments coming in at once. He barely had any time to catch them.

'I WANNA MARRY UR DICK MY GOOD SIR-'

Jungkook accidentally lets out a small laugh, making his fans go crazy over the little clench his abdomen does. Comments flew left and right and if Jungkook was being honest, it had made his head a little dizzy to try and read.

His voice registers low, trying to maintain the sexy and alluring aura he'd try putting out. "Do I need a top hat?" He teases. The chat's soon filled with just hearts, fire emojis and winky/kissy faces.

'THIS MAN IS A DOM AND NOBODY CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE'

'LITERALLYLYYYYYYY AHH HE'S GONNA FUCKING KILL ME'

'this man can run me over, take both my kidneys, douse me in gasoline and set me on fire, and step on my nipple and I'd say thank you'

'@Tommysheaintit LMFAO GIRL WUT-

'@Busan-sbadest97 Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease'

He felt the base of his cock starting to twitch. More pre-cum leaking out of his slit. He prepares what he'd referred to as the 'c-hum bucket'. It had just been a little dollar-store purchase for his load hold.

His hips stagger with instability. Rising off the edge of his bed, he's quick to make a few body roll against his palm before a string of hot cum trails down the entirety of his softening cock. He reaches for the off-set towel he'd prepared earlier, wiping his hands clean of the warm substance. Before turning the live off, he decides to raise one of his sticky fingers, sucking on the lengthy digit between his two plush lips. He bends over just so that the camera can pick up the sight of his finger sucking and nothing more.

After let the commenters roll out, he shuts down the camera, unplugging it completely before falling backwards into his bed. Reaching for his phone, he scrolls through his other notifications before the same girl's from before had popped up.

XPeachyPrincessX: What's better than pet-play? Pet-slay. Check out my new posts here - Onlyfans.com/xpeachyprincess//new-sets-by-peachy

Jungkook clicks on the link, checking out his favorite creator's new uploads. The photos take a hot minute to load -courtesy of his wifi- but once they load, his mouth drops at the sight. She'd been doing a lot of Lolita themes so far, but this had been something completely different. Her ass had been stuck in the air, a fluffy little bunny tail had been strapped around her waist. The matching bunny ears tuck behind her cute -real- ears.

His thumb hovers over the message button.

Would she even be interested in him? She probably had a million hotter guys fucking her all of the time.

If Jungkook was being honest, Peachy had been his first motive -and really, only- to starting his own Only Fans. He saw how good the pay was, and he'd always been told how good-looking he was from people on the streets. As well as being blessed with a exponentially large dick for his ahem-

Stereotype.

He sucks in a breath, thumb still stuck in the air right above the 'message' icon. He thinks for a few seconds, before deciding to go for it. After a few -20- minutes of typing out his carefully crafted message, he'd sent it.

Now to just wait.

He throws his phone to the side, letting out a drawn out sigh. He knew she's a busy woman. With all of the spam messaging, DMs and comments she gets she'll probably ignore him comple-

Ding.

He rushes to open the app, seeing one new notification.

From: XPeachyPrincessX

Oh, hey I know you! My follows were wanting us to collab for a while now. Had to look you up but I'll say, B. You're impressive. I like the aesthetics you go for. So, when would you want to meet up?

He couldn't believe it. The woman he'd been dying to meet, was offering a collaboration. No, not like the ones YouTubers do.

But you could already figure that out.

He jumps off, carding his hands through his hair so roughly, he's afraid he might go bald sooner than he's thought. He takes in a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart as he types back.

____________________________________________________________

After a few weeks of going back and forth with details, locations, and dates, Jungkook had finally arrived. The place had been hidden in the shadows of two taller buildings to keep it nice and secluded. He takes in a deep breath before opening the door.

His eyes follow upon all different kinds of sets. A little police station tucked in the corner, a woman with barely anything but handcuffs around her hands had been pressed up against the wall by a tall, brooding man. He too, had almost nothing to cloth himself with.

"Hey, B!" A voice becks him over. He flashes a long smile, watching as the woman comes jogging up to meet him. She too has an adorable smile.

How he's never seen it? Well, this wasn't a Only Smiles company.

"Nice to finally meet you, B." His eyebrow quirks at the name. "B?" She smiles, nodding.

"Can't risk using our real names here. Ya know, safety and shit. They usually call me Peaches, so you can too if you want. Or something else if you'd prefer." He nods, watching the cute little dimples dip onto her cheeks, making her appear even more youthful.

His eyes flash up, seeing a woman following behind Peaches, a large makeup bag carried in her other arm. Peaches apologizes, allowing the small woman to finish doing her cute, doll-like makeup. The woman's gaze focuses on his.

"Come." She motions him over to sit in the setup chair. He takes a seat, watching as Peaches makes her way over to the spotlights to talk with the director for a few moments.

After his makeup had been complete, the woman offers a mirror. He nods, admiring her excellent skills in cosmetics. Peaches returns, a shoulder peaks out from her silky black robe. Jungkook's throat tightens at the sight. Of course he'd been naked on camera before, but they had always been solo acts.

"Alright- woah.." She stops, eyes widening at his harsh look.

"Is..is it bad?" He questions, already reaching for the little makeup wipes on the table. She chuckles, head shaking from left to right.

"No, looks amazing. Hot for sure. Alrighty," She comments, the tint on Jungkook's cheeks flush even deeper. She turns her phone's screen, showing him all of the ropes.

As they make their way through the doors, his eyes set upon the most erotic and sensual set he's ever seen. A light pink backdrop had been laid out, a mini-fridge sat upon a small block to rise the little, barbie sized cooler about a foot up or two.

"So, as you could already tell, the theme's Peaches and Cream." He nods, eyes taking in all of the colorful sights to admire. She slides her phone into her purse off set before hearing the director yelling something. A bell rings, as someone comes up behind Jungkook, removing his clothes quickly.

He felt very bare and awkward, but Peach's extended hand made a warm sensation bubble in his stomach, settling his nerves.

They direct him over to her bent over figure. Her ass teasing his hardening cock on sight. She'd bent over as instructed, pretending to reach for a little thing inside the mini-fridge, a shocked expression plasters her doll-like features. They guide Jungkook behind her, shooting a short little video for a cover.

He leans over as well, not really sure of what to do.

"Back hug me." She says through her shocked face. He's quick to follow They pan the camera down to catch her face.

After a few takes, they switch positions. The director had told her to lay between his legs, an exaggerated, shocked expression once again paints her features.

Her hands brush the sides of his knees, making his thigh tense from sensitivity. A cute giggle exits from her plump lips.

"Cold?" She glances back, questioning with a soft look. He shakes his head. She leans back a bit, whispering into his ear.

"Peaches and cream, get it?" Jungkook laughs at the dirty play-on-words, nodding.

"Great shoot guys!" Jungkook sighs, taking a seat down next to the staff's food table. The ton all start clapping, rolling out the cameras and mics to protect their pricings. She'd been talking to the director for the past ten minutes now. His all-too-close touches never go unnoticed by Jungkook's green eyes.

Yes, he has brown.

He reaches out, trying to grab a little rice cake before the platter's snatched away. He lets out a sigh, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. She had looked so calm and professional.

He probably looked so stupid.

He goes to stand up, making his way to the door before a sweet voice calls out to beck him over. "Ju- B! Where you going?" He shrugs, fainting a little cute smile. She pouts, arms crossing at his obvious forced smile.

"I'm kinda tired." She holds out a little pastry, his face imminently lighting up at the sight. He grabs the little dessert, taking a large bite. That puts a smile on her face.

"I'm sorry for the staff.. They're kinda harsh on newcomers." He nods, holding a thumbs up. She chuckles, brushing her fingertip over the stickiness of his bangs.

"You still tired?" She questions, a little smirk toys the corner of her lip. He shakes his head.

"Why?"

___________

"Oh wow.." He gawks, admiring her large, and pristine apartment complex. She giggles, pressing the remote, the curtains drawing close to block the sunset's final good-bye.

"Woah!" His eyes widen like saucers, acting like a little kid at a amusement park for the first time.

She sets the remote down, shrugging the robe off her shoulders, stepping out of her little fluffy, hot pink laced set she'd worn for the shoot.

"They don't have these back where I li-" His jaw drops at the sight. The hot pink two-piece lays lifelessly on the floor, circling her high-heeled soles. A smirk presses her smooth lips.

"Bet they don't have this either." She teases, striding over to where he stood. She pushes lightly against his chest, making him fall backwards onto the pristine white of her sectional. She kneels down, hands toying with the zipper of his jeans.

"Wait wait wait-" He grabs her hands, stopping her motions. Her eyebrow quirks at the halt.

"What's wrong?" His throat dries at the scene. His all-time favorite content creator had been kneeled between his thighs, willingly wanting to suck his dick-

"I just- are you comfortable?" His question makes a smile appear on her face.

"Wow.." She chuckles. Jungkook swears he could see a tomato-tint creep up on her caked on cheeks.

"Nobody really asks that anymore.." His head tilts in concern. "Well- it's just the respectable thing to do." She nods, unbuttoning the clasp on his pants once more.

"That makes me wanna suck you off even more." His eyes widen, hands trying to stop her. "Wait- Peaches uh-"

She licks her lips, watching the length of his cock bob up to rest in mid-air.

"It's Y/n." She coos before wrapping her lips around the tip of his cock. He groans, knuckles fisting white as his mouth parts.

"Y-Y/n.." She smirks, bobbing her head at a quicker rate. The rest she couldn't fit in the space of her mouth, she wrapped her palm around his base to jerk the rest off. His hips rise up, meeting her bobs in unison. She chuckles, using one free hand to rub gentle circles into his thick thighs. She releases, popping off as a string of saliva and pre-cum bridges from his tip to her lips.

"Shhh, it's okay Kook." He moans out, abdomen clenching at her soothing voice.

"K-Kook?" She nods, applying kitten-like licks to his squishy tip.

"Jungkook. It's shorter." Her voice lowers a few registers as a smirk teases her lips.

"Easier to moan."

His head lulls back, mouth dropping at the amazing feeling. His legs spread wider unconsciously, as her hand comes to cup his balls, massaging them gently. His hand reaches out, pulling and pushing forwards, debating on whether if it was okay for him to touch her.

She smiles, guiding his hand to the crown of her head. "You can grip me if you want, baby." He nods, hands taking no hesitation in gripping at her dyed roots. His moans grow in volume, hips rising more as he feels his high creeping up like a car to a stoplight.

"Y/n- I-" She nods, moving her closed hand along the length of his throbbing cock. "Use your words, sweetie. Tell mommy what you need."

His chest pants heavily, thighs tensing from holding back the release he so wanted. "I- cum-"

She squishes his tip, watching as a little bit more of his sticky pre-cum drips from his slit. "You what?"

"Mommy please- Please let me cum- oh fuck.." She grins, engulfing his entire cock in one go. He cries out, throwing himself against the couch's end. Hand gripping tightly at her roots, as if he was holding on for dear life. The pace her hands had been going at went ten times faster, as the coil snapped inside stomach. Beads of hot cum shoot out onto the dips and creases of her face. Some, getting in her line of sight.

"Oh- oh fuck wait-" He stands up, rushing to find anything to clean her up with. He grab a few dry paper towels, wiping the sticky substance from her entire face.

"Mmm, such a gentleman, Kookie." He blushes, wiping the last bit of his juices from her face. She flashes him an adorable smile, making his own return once more.

"I'm sorry.." He apologizes profusely. She chuckles, shaking her head. "For what? You were the kindest guy I've fucked so far."

"Really?" She nods, making Jungkook's heart ache a twinge.

"That's just common courtesy.." She sits down on the couch, leaning back in exhaustion.

"Common courtesy, not so common."

The two both laugh at that, ending the night with two hot chocolates and a whole bunch of industry gossip.

______________________________________________________________

Okay I'm considering making a part two because I thought I didn't like the mommy kink but- oh God..

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! DM me for more requests (Please ask nicely.)

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cursed-40k-thoughts · 1 year

Note

There was a time once when three philosophers gathered together to answer a question posed by the King of Change. A Human, a Tau, and an Eldar.

"How many roads must a man walk down, before he finds his way?"

The three thought, as was the custom for philosophers, drawing upon their understanding of the world, and their past musings upon the nature of life.

The Human spoke first.

"There is but one road he must walk, should he choose the right one. The choice is his, to do good or to do evil. To be holy, or to be profane. A man may only walk a single road in his life, and we might all pray that it is not a dark one."

The King of Change mused upon this answer, and found it unsatisfactory.

"But is it not the nature of life that a man grows, even as he moves through his life? If there is one path and one path only, surely the universe would be a more stagnant place."

The King clacked his beak in frustration, and dismissed the Human.

The Tau spoke next, for he had put more thought into the question than the human.

"While a man may walk any number of paths in life, he may always change his ways, and start upon the right one. No matter how many wrong actions one might take, right actions are never beyond one's reach. There are as many roads as a man needs to find the true way, and no more."

The King of Change mused upon this answer, and found it unsatisfactory.

"But is it not the nature of life that a man might fall away from what he deems as right? Power corrupts, the promise of it even more so. If man were to stay the path as soon as he found it, the universe would be a much more harmonious place."

The King clacked his beak in frustration, and dismissed the Tau.

The Eldar spoke last, for he had put yet more thought into the question than the Tau.

"A man may walk any number of paths in life, and find satisfaction in all or none of them. The journey of growth is never complete, and there is no end to the paths he takes. The search through life is his way."

The King of Change mused upon this answer, and found it unsatisfactory.

"Is it not the nature of life to strive towards a goal? To work for something rather than work itself? If man were to walk for the sake of walking, surely man would not seek an answer to this question, and so many others."

The King clacked his beak in frustration, and dismissed the Eldar.

The King of Change was displeased. He had fathered the three finest minds in the land, and was unable to find an answer to his question. In frustration, he said to his guards "The next man to walk down the road before my castle shall be brought before me to provide an answer." before retiring to his evening meal.

As it so happened, an Ork laborer had been down road, returning to his home after a day of lending his hand in a hunt to drive off a pack of wolves. He was large, and tough, with calloused hands and a look about him that said his mind was as blunt as his club.

This was the man who was grounded before the King of Change as he ate, and asked the question.

"How many roads must a man walk down before he finds his way?"

The Ork thought long and hard, longer than any of the three philosophers had. Before finally responding, with a question of his own.

"Wut. Is a road?"

And the King of Change was enlightened.

He bestowed upon the Ork a barrel of beer and a fine dairy cow, and sent him on his way.

The Ork, meanwhile, was confused, as he did not speak the courtly tongue. But beer was beer, and a cow was a cow. All was well.

I feel like I've gained something profound from this. I've no fucking idea what, but I definitely have. Beautiful. Inspiring. Thank you

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moonlit-dreamers · 4 months

Text

*sighs loudly* so i Was going to draw them but turns out my own design is too difficult for me to draw. but i'll be making this post anyway bc this au has been cooking for so long i might as well!

Featherless Flight AU

aka dca avian au where these fucks r BIRDS

(disclaimer this is a sun x moon au. it also deals with heavy themes such as child abuse, death, violence, and. ya know. wutever tws come with the apocalypse (also these will not be talked about in detail in this post))

nothing robotic in them. just feathers, blood, and bones. a lot of that stuff may be lost or break throughout their story! but lemme at least tell u wut they look like (without having my own drawings OTL (i only have a ref for their faces (which im not confident of)))

a quick note for both of their designs, they r both Fully Covered in feathers, including their arms and faces (yes they have arms And wings). the only places that dont have feathers is their lower legs and hands. they have anthropomorphic legs. and their face shape is also similar to a barn owl, as shown here (ignore the lack of mouths, idk wut to give them)

suns design! he has the coloring and general design of a sun conure. hes full of bright reds and yellows, tho the green is replaced with a bit of blue. he has multiple crests around his head that fluff up similar to a cockatiel but theyre in a way that make it look like rays. in the drawing above is wut they look like without their crests raised; that is their default. suns feet r grasping feet which r 2 toes in the front and 2 in the back. sun has high speed wings so aes a lot faster. (if u dont know wut any of this means i recommend u look it up, im a bird nerd) sun is also specifically an omnivore (them having different diets is actually plot relevant)

moons design next. moon is the color of a hyacinth macaw tho his anatomy is closer to an owl. he has one large crest on his head like a cockatoo. its also colorblind! since its anatomy is based mainly off of owls, for moons ability to see at night means he can see less colors. and bc hes more sensitive at night his eyes r always half closed in light, making it look sleepy despite being fully awake. moon has raptor feet with 3 toes in the front and 1 in the back. xis claws r also much larger than suns. moon has passive soaring wings which is better for longer flights. and moon is a carnivore :)

theres also an eclipse but their design is an enigma to me even in my own mind

but back to sun and moon! if anyone is curious moon uses he/it/xe pronouns while sun uses he/it/ae pronouns. they r both aroace and love each other deeply (qpr babyyyyy). sun is genderfluid while moon doesnt give a shit (agender).

sun is more bubbly and energetic. very much high energy bouncing off the walls. hes the kind of optimist where u cant tell if their "bright side"s r trying to help or be condescending. its a master at back handed compliments. heavily a perfectionist and will reach the point of screaming fits if wut he doesnt isnt perfect. ae has a lot of self image issues. ae hides a lot of aers lack of self confidence and doubt behind a wall of "im the best", tho that wall can crash very easily. a bit of a flirt, but mainly bc he just enjoys seeing how ppl react. he takes compliments from everyone but moons compliments r always the best

moon is lower energy and calmer. at least, he acts like it. hes more reserved and if it wasnt for sun he wouldnt have any friends or talk to ppl at all. he fears abandonment and sun is the only person who has stayed with him this whole time and is the only person he truly trusts. is very aggressive towards anyone it doesnt know. despite being shorter than sun (hes 6ft while sun is 7ft) it definitely does a good job at intimidating ppl. over time when xe becomes comfortable with someone xe will eventually calm down and show a bit of a softer side to them. when xes actually calm and likes someone xe can be a bit... chaotic :)

im honestly not sure where ill start their story since ive already thought about their childhood but i also wanna write about their adulthood as well. the story of their childhood mainly deals with the abuse they went through, then with adulthood theyre shoved into an apocalypse bc... y not :) (btw the apocalypse is mainly just bc ive been enjoying apocalypse aus a Lot lately and wanna write one. the child abuse is for their development and to show y they act the way they do. while it will be fun to write their development, i am by no means saying abuse is okay and this topic will be treated carefully and seriously.)

oh theyre also nd as Fuck

but yeah. these r my babies! i hope to at some point start writing the fic so i can show it to u all, but im already in the process of writing another fic, which will be coming out soon!

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chang-bunnie-bini-bop · 4 months

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hiraeth • seo changbin [part two]

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✰ pairing - roommate!changbin x fem!reader

✰ warnings - reader passes out, very smalll angst, slightly suggestive [?]

✰ word count - 2.1k

✰ notes - what do you think he's hiding??? ALSO im so sorry i left you all hanging...i promise ill update frequently...'kay?

✰ tags - @hyunjinslittlestar @dunno-wut-to-do

✰ sypnosis: changbin takes care of you after you manage to somehow make your condition worse. but he's hiding something.

hiraeth - the longing for a home that you cannot return to, or never was.

masterlist | requests open!

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“So, do you want to tell me what happened?” Your roommate asked hopefully, curious, obviously.

You decide to respond truthfully, mostly because he would probably see right through your lies.

“Not really.”

Changbin was just…that kind of person. Wise, but funny when he needed to be. He knew exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to say it.

He wasn’t the type of person to be afraid of his flaws, but to embrace them. This was a trait many people probably admired about him, but to you, it was the one thing that frustrated you most.

You wished you could be like that.

“Well,” He started, slapping his own thighs and getting up. “I’m just gonna-”

For some reason, a primal sort of instinct overwhelmed your mind immediately. You didn’t want him to leave.

You panicked and acted without thinking.

Your arms darted out and wrapped around his stomach, head resting on his back.

Changbin froze in his position, sagging slightly as your hand patted his tummy and attempted to pull him closer.

You were so embarrassed, there was no way you were going to lift your head, not after pulling him around like he was your teddy bear.

He turned around, holding your outstretched arms gently and folding them in your lap.

You averted your entire face down, hair falling in between your eyes and effectively masking your whole face.

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“Your hair is so thin. Its become so ugly after that haircut.” The mom scoffed, yanking at the girl’s hair as she brushed through it.

“Agh! Mom, careful! Also, I love the haircut. It makes me feel happy.” The girl talked back, earning an extra tough tug to the hair again.

“Well, useless girl. Clearly, you’re ugly on the inside and outside.” Her mom made sure to push her head as she stood up, brushing her clothes off.

“Now go to something useful, unlike your sister.” She spat.

The thirteen year old resisted the urge to roll your eyes spitefully, knowing that it was probably better to just…listen to her.

Maybe…she was just some useless girl.

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Yoe opened your eyes, and sunlight flooded your features aggressively.

You whined and put your hand in front of your face, effectively blocking the sunlight.

I probably fell asleep.

Getting up, you look around the unfamiliar setting.

Changbin was fast asleep beside you, putting cutely and hugging a Pokémon plush.

It wasn’t uncommon for both of you to fall asleep next to each other, considering your biggest fear was loud noises, and thunderstorms occur pretty frequently.

You had just…needed someone beside you.

Now you had him. He groaned a bit and shuffled, the sunlight hitting him directly in the face.

You almost had the urge to hug him again, but instead, you leaned down and pressed your lips to his cheek, thankful for the good nights rest.

He squirmed slightly and almost woke up, prompting you to jump out of bed quickly and walk into the shared bathroom, which smelled like men’s perfume.

The scent was so familiar you almost keeled over. It wasn’t strong, but it smelled sweet, like honeydew.

You brushed your teeth, turning on the shower. Feeling almost lightheaded, you pressed your hand to your forehead, and yup, you had a high fever.

You cranked up the temperature to the highest, needing to get your muscles loose after the tension of yesterday, your tantrum combined with your excessive workout.

You threw off Changbin’s shirt, squishing at your own belly and deciding to wear loose-fitting clothing, today was a bloated day for sure.

The shower you took felt like true luxury, a paradise in which you didn’t have to worry about your feelings, but rather yourself for once.

The steam fogged up the mirrors, but you didn’t care about how misty they would be later.

You stepped out and wrapped a towel around yourself, grabbing your huge t-shirt, puffy sweatpants and undergarments.

The light-headedness returned, and only after you finished putting your clothes in the hamper did you realize your own mistake.

Oh my goodness. I’m so stupid.

You had taken a boiling hot shower, with an extremely high fever.

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“Y/N-AH! I’m inviting some friends over for a while, is that okay?” Changbin yelled into the bathroom, rolling his eyes when you didn’t respond.

He felt the steam of your shower circling his feet from the crack in the door, and his eyes widened.

“YAH! Don’t use all the hot water! y/N!” He yelled, accentuating the last half of your name.

“Hey, are you okay?! Y/N!” He knocked aggressively on the door, worry flooding his voice at the lack of answers, jiggling the locked handle.

Then he heard a sickening thud.

“Y/N! Hey, what was that?! Are you OKAY?!” Changbin screeched, banging on the door.

His eyes widened in panic, and fright flooded his whole body. The door was locked.

The master key.

He ran to the kitchen and rummaged through the drawer, finding the key within a few seconds.

Changbin ran back to the bathroom door and shoved the key into the lock with shaking hands.

He managed to open the door slowly, covering his eyes in case…well, you know.

“Y/N…?” He opened one eye, steam flooding his features.

Your body was slumped over, the hamper of clothes knocked over and your hand resting on the pocket of one of his hoodies.

Changbin took a deep breath, the heat almost unbearable.

The older lifted your finished body over his shoulder while he pulled the hamper up again.

Changbin adjusted his tank top and carried you to his room yet again, mirroring the previous night.

He lightly tapped his hand on your cheek, attempting to wake your disgruntled body up.

“Y/N-ah. Wake up, love.” He shook you lightly, and that’s what woke you up, finally.

“C-changbin?” You stuttered, rubbing your eyes and gasping in pain as his hand pressed against your forehead.

“Did you really take a hot shower with a fever?”

You thought that he would gloat, laugh, make fun of you for being oh so stupid.

But his tone was one of concern, of worry.

For you.

He wrapped his arms tightly around you, engulfing you in a blanket of warmth, which you definitely needed after the chill of of the room had overwhelmed your body.

Your small frame shuddered, and you sagged in his hold, temporarily unaware of yourself, of anything.

Numb. You felt numb.

Like you didn’t care if you were happy or sad.

Loud knocking tipped both of you out of your world, and Changbin grinned sheepishly at you as he motioned to himself.

He wasn’t wearing a proper shirt.

You rolled your watery eyes and walked to the door, hoping it wasn’t anyone important, considering your messed up state.

“Hi-Is Changbin there?” A man asked.

The first thing you noticed about him was that he was the epitome of perfect.

Everything about him looked well put together, and his smile even had dimples.

And then there was you, who was suddenly feeling very shy in front of him.

“Yeah, Chan! I’ll be there in a sec!” Changbin yelled from the other room.

You rolled your eyes. He was probably trying to find a good shirt that actually fit him and his muscles.

Chan smiled down at you, and your mind immediately soured. Pity.

But it didn’t seem like it.

“What’s your name? Are you his roommate? He’s told me a lot about you.” Chan asked with a slight Australian accent, laughing at the end shyly.

“Oh, my name is Y/N. Sorry, been having a rough week.” You responded, suddenly having the urge to shout ‘Aussie Aussie Aussie’ and see his reaction.

“Everyone has those every once in a while.” Chan tsked, and Changbin chose that moment to emerge from his room, clad in a comfy shirt and sweatpants to mirror your own.

Standing next to Chan, he suddenly looked way smaller, and you resisted the urge to coo at him.

“Okay, we’ll be in my room, 'kay? I’ve ordered a nice lunch for you, and there’s a hot water bottle on the counter.” Changbin pointed out.

Ever so thoughtful. You smiled at him for the first time in two days.

“What about you? Did you eat already?” You asked, wanting to make sure he wasn’t skipping as he normally did.

“Yup. I got Chan to confirm.” Binnie playfully slapped the man’s shoulder, and they both laughed while heading to his room.

“Oh, and Jisung’ll be over soon.” Changbin called out, and your mood considerably lifted.

Your best friend Jisung had already met Changbin, so he was a mutual friend along you two.

You decided to slump on the couch and watch a movie, popping some pain medication and waiting for your food.

When the doorbell rang, you bounced up from the couch and received the food, uttering a hushed thanks before shutting the door.

You only just realized how starving you were.

The package was ripped open and your mouth watered at the smell of the hot soup inside.

For once it was actually hot.

After gulping the soup down, which definitely helped your sore throat, you made a mental note to thank Changbin for all this.

The doorbell rang again, and you rushed to open it, almost knocking your toe onto the coffee table in the process.

This time, it was Jisung, who bounced over to wrap you in a ginormous hug.

Instead of pulling away like you normally did, you stayed in the hug for a while.

This is what you needed.

“Are you…okay, Y/N?” Jisung asked, and the question that you had waited so long for was finally voiced.

You could feel your eyes tearing up painfully, and you sniffled quietly, the comforting embrace of your best friend made everything so much better.

“Oh no…I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have asked that!” Jisung bent down till he was about your level before wiping your tears off, concern lacing his voice and worry painted on his face.

“N-No. Don’t feel sorry. I’m just so happy that someone finally asked me that.” You avert your eyes, not wanting to see the full force of your best friend’s worry.

“Oh, Y/Nnie…” Hannie wrapped you tightly in his embrace again, and this time, he picked you up and headed to the couch, turning on some random movie.

The day was full of cuddles and snacks, though you wondered what Chan and Changbin were doing the whole time.

“I’ll see Changbin for a sec, yeah?” Han stood up and walked to your roommate’s door.

You didn’t think too much about it, but then again, he had been seeing Chan and Changbin in that room quite often, hasn’t he?

You knew it wasn’t your place to snoop, but you couldn’t help but wonder, what was he doing in there?

Either way, you decided to cook some dinner, knowing that Changbin often liked to skip his dinner, which you certainly did not enjoy.

You brought up a plate to his room, knocking on the door softly.

Shuffling noises echoed through the area, and a very tired Binnie openned the door, however, his face lit up in happiness when he saw the food.

“Aweee, Y/N! Thank you!” He took the tray, which had three bowls on it, into the room.

Setting the tray down, he bounced back to the door to give you a quick, one-armed hug before running to the kitchen for some water.

You saw your chance.

“What have you been doing in there?” You ask, raising an eyebrow as he visibly panicked.

“Nothing. Just some work. College never waits!” He grinned awkwardly, and that’s when you knew he was lying.

“What is up with you, Chan and Jisung lately? Are you…” Your eyes widened, and so did his.

“What?! No, ew! It’s just something else…Y/N.” Binnie finishes oddly.

He sipped quickly at his water, bolting to his room again and shutting the door.

You sigh to yourself before heading to bed.

Maybe tomorrow would be better.

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masterlist | requests open!

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#binibop writes <3 #skz #skz fluff #stray kids #stray kids changbin #changbin x reader #changbin fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #changbin

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writing-frenzy · 7 months

Text

Mob Protag Ichigo and the Puppet Master (UraIchi Isekai Idea :3 )

So yeah, for anyone who's read my first idea with the Kurosaki Fam Isekai, they'll know all the stuff that has inspired this and that I've already mentioned an idea with a Mob Character!Ichigo and a Puppet Master Benihime (AKA Urahara Kisuke)

Let us set the scene :3

How will Ichigo go to a fantasy world, especially with how he is? Well, as Ichigo was growing up, one of his sisters was really, really sick; they weren't sure if she was going to make it tbh. Ichigo did all he could, but being a little guy, there wasn't much he could do. One day, he came upon a weird being who said they could grant wishes; Ichigo immediately asks if they can make his little sister healthy. The being said yes after a moment, but it will cost him a peaceful afterlife. Ichigo takes the deal, the being is admittedly touched by this child's goodness and unselfish desire, because for such a sweet child, they know of death and the loss it brings already. So the being actually doesn't twist the wish like so many others he does, letting the children live out their natural lifespans in peace.

All is well, until a 17 year old Ichigo saves his other sister and her friend from dying to a truck. Our World's Divine Being is like; damn, you still had way, way more life span and time than you should have to had died now... but since you have a contract, I can't just let you survive :/ eh, I'll use it to at least give you perks to survive your reincarnation in that hell hole. (not to mention how they too are actually touched, they're a sucker for loving families)

Ichigo: wut

Godly Being: *throws a book series and some powers at him* Wish you luck out there!

After feeling just a bit violated and like someone was digging around in his head and blood, Ichigo wakes up in an abandoned house in some modern looking steampunk like city. Looking around he doesn't have much but some basics for survival, weird as heck items, and a book series. Not much to do, he reads the series, which answers a whole lot of questions even as makes Ichigo scowl like a thundercloud.

See, this is a very, very dark fantasy like series, it's gonna have all the canon Bleach fighting and gore but with magical surprises and such, with a very, very bittersweet ending. It's kinda like a modern setting meets with a very eco-friendly way because the world will crush those it sees trying to abuse it (mother nature don't play around here) so it's kinda steam/water/wind/solarpunk. Don't know who I want as the OG Story's protag to be, maybe Rukia or one of the Karakura Kids, but it follows them in a world were contracts/pacts/deals with spiritual beings is over everything; it can be with weapons, it can be with bloodlines or any such. Not all pacts and such are unequal, some in fact are real and true bonds, the pact bound loyal to their contractors to obsession... others, it is is very much a thing of slavery and torture, which can go both ways depending on what was exactly contracted.

Ichigo goes about trying to figure out his own contract/pact thing, which while so long ago, is just something he has never been able to forget, seemingly inscribed onto his very soul in a way. He knows he was picked because his soul was the most compatible for the spirits the being wanted for him, and he already knows its going to change his body as well, but it still confuses him.

(maybe something like;

A mix of holy power and darkness that would find most be consumed,

Flames properly controlled that can reach the moon,

Cut it from the sky and devour it if so desired,

But yet all one wants is to protect their own wary lost and life tired,

For One such as you a power so great is to be entrusted,

It will find you, change you, leave your life chain broken and rusted,

In Time it will be shown if you can make this power your own,

But already, your fate has sown.)

(LOL, this is Ichigo, he's gonna break his fate and make friends with his Hallow and Ossan, because I love the idea of the three together again in this au :3 later tho)

But yeah, so Ichigo is figuring things out, especially with controlling his body once more because his strength went a bit wonky, but I also like the idea of a different weapon Ichigo if that makes sense? Like, he will still be an op power house, but the thought of him using spells and martial arts makes me grin evilly? Like, with his Hollow more bonded later, he can make claws come out to rip soft bellies apart and such. And Ossan just insists he learn a bow for those times he needs long range and such, even if he gets a bit despairing when Ichigo occasionally gets too frustrated and just throws the damn arrow (all three in Ichigo's head are quiet whenever the move proves highly effective, which is always.) Oh, but now I can't help but think of Childe from Genshin Impact's fighting style :D maybe instead of blades though, Ichigo switches to a hand to hand with bracers of some sort covering his arms that are hard as fuck, easy to move around in because of magic.

But ah, getting sidetracked again, this all comes later down; for now, Ichigo is still figuring shit out, avoiding protagonists and co because yeah, people not protected by plot armor tend to die really, really messily around them and he still can't do jack right now (doesn't mean he doesn't do what he can, even if its just simple things like helping the elderly, making sure kids get home safe, or even knocking out some regular thugs harassing some ladies.

Ichigo, despite all his scowls and looks, still draws people in with his kindness and protective nature in this dark, lonely otherworld.)

Its as he's helping someone shopping, this sweet little lady who goes on and on about her sweet grandbaby, that Ichigo goes to the Urahara Shoten for the first time; not much gets his attention, besides the fact that the protagonist has only been here once or twice in the early chapters for some odds or ends, this place being some mixture of candy/pawn/tea shop.

But then something in the shop resonates with him; with his very soul. Looking around, Ichigo tells the sweet grandma he'll be right back, and call him when she's done, to which she gives a cheerful reply before Ichigo goes off, looking high and low before he finds a strange book and block with it, like a set. Picking it up, it just feels so damn right... till he looks at the price tag and cringes. While he has odd jobs here and there to help him out, it's just enough money for him to live with since he doesn't have to worry about rent with his questionable abandoned house, covering his food expenses and the public bath fee.

"Find something you like dear customer?" is said from behind him, which makes Ichigo jump like a few feet into the air, clutching his book and block set to his chest, before turning to the one who startled him.

And so thus the first meeting with Urahara Kisuke, Geta-boshi as Ichigo likes to call him. After a bit of back and forth between the two, Ichigo admits he can't afford the book and block set, too which Urahara merely hums, eyes oddly shadowed from his hat as he considers that. one thing leads to another and somehow Ichigo not only gets the set but even a steady job at the shop, even if his paycheck will be cut because of said set. And sure, Geta-boshi is sus as fuck, but Ichigo doesn't sense any ill will from the man, not too mention the man even helps him with understanding the book, a soul book as its called, which strengthens souls and their contracts, enabling them to get a growing weapon called an Asauchi that transforms with the soul. Its not bad.

On Kisuke's part, he is actually pretty intrigued by Kurosaki, this youth who carries the potential of a predator but the heart of a protector, actually reacting to the soul book and Asauchi Kisuke had made more for curiosity and boredom then to actually make a functional weapon. Not to mention just how much fun it is too mess with Ichigo, the boy shows he has a clever mind and a strength that just seems to constantly grow more and more. Kisuke is actually considering just how he can possibly use this youth for his goals, wondering if he can be the chest piece he needs to finally topple the king in this game between Puppet Master Benihime and Greater Lord Aizen.

Ichigo does know about Puppet Master Benihime from the story, they were a neutral character only focused on making sure the world would not collapse, no matter the amount that would be needed to be sacrificed in the end. But in the story, it only ever showed Benihime herself, never even mentioning that she was actually contracted, and 100% loyal to said contractor, so Ichigo has no clue about just how scary his mentor is at first, besides when the man actually did finally spar with him and Ichigo couldn't even get a hit on him. In this world, these two have a bit more time, a bit more room to act, and with it they bond, much to Kisuke great surprise even as he still plans to use him.

So things happen, things are reveled, discoveries are had, and Kisuke goes to Ichigo, confirming that he knows.

And then he kneels before this youth; he kneels and apologizes, thinking and knowing in his soul he's done something unforgiveable, thinking he won't be forgiven and fine with that as long as Ichigo still lives well... only for Ichigo to actually forgive, just like that, just because he could tell Kisuke meant it, scowling still but most of all accepting.

Its a good thing Kisuke was already kneeling because that alone would have made him bow just from the sheer acceptance and warmth Ichigo just seems to shine with. Ichigo has no idea just what he's done, who's utter loyalty and trust he has secured, and Kisuke will kill, die, and live for this boy, he just has to say the word. Even with all the people Ichigo has gathered, from villains to protagonist, people who are loyal and true if to no one else but him, Kisuke feels blessed he can be included, can be trusted even over the others to always remain at Ichigo's back and protect it no matter what.

In return, Ichigo looks up to Kisuke as both a mentor, ally, friend, and after an interesting dream, a damn annoying crush he can not get rid of, going strong for years (no longer a crush then but let him deny it for a bit). Parts of him wants to devour this man whole, never share him with the world, but Ichigo is such a being of freedom he could never dream to rip such a thing from someone else. (Kisuke being Kisuke wouldn't mind if its Ichigo tho >:3 All Ichigo has to do is ask, and this man would give him the world, Benihime right behind him.)

I feel like this story would be a slow burn but not if that makes sense? like, there is a tension from the very beginning of the story to Demi-romantic/sexual Ichigo's awakening of shit, so that's what that feels like (Fight me on this, I will defend it to the grave Very Demi!Ichigo)

But yeah, so far that's it for my Bleach Ideas :D hope you enjoyed them and stuff.

#Bleach #bleach au #ichigo kurosaki #kisuke urahara #uraichi #Mob Character Ichigo

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atxxzist · 9 months

Text

broken | c.s (13)

prev // next //series m.list

pairing: choi san x reader

word count: 8.9k

warning: traumas, idk wut else but lmk

you're not sure how long you've been crying, your sense of time completely lost and only able to tell day from night by how the blueish sky and clouds turned into an orange horizon before the stars came out of the pitched darkness.

only able to tell the cafe is near closing time when the pitiful and sorry expressions of passersby starts decreasing and the place grows so quiet, you can hear the clinking of cups and utensils as the workers begin cleaning up.

they probably feel sorry for you, one of them even offered a cup of coffee earlier when they noticed your swelling eyes in the corner and the fact you were obviously not okay.

you wipe another lone tear with your sleeve when a gentle tap on the table takes your attention, snapping around to see one of the workers who looks about your age and is most likely a local student working part-time.

"hey, miss, just letting you know we're closing in about ten minutes," she says, treading carefully because you already look like you had an awful day.

"oh, i'm sorry," your voice comes out hoarse, bowing slightly in apology as you stand up. "i'll get going."

"would you like anything before you go?"

you shake your head, the first smile of the day settling on your lips faintly as you thank her.

the air outside is crisp as the months go by, leaving summer behind to accomodate fall. time have passed and the leaves are changing.

you didn't go back to the dorms earlier because you didn't want to face yuna when she'd occasionally return in between classes for breaks and whatnot. she would notice something immediately given how conflicting your guys' schedules are in the first place.

you didn't want to tell her that you got your heart broken (the short version) and didn't attend any classes at all. you're not ready for that conversation yet, settling for isolating and humiliating yourself in a public space instead until you're ready to go back.

but you just feel absolutely defeated and foolish, all this time clinging onto something that was never going to work out. something that you knew from the beginning was doomed to fail.

you've had so many chances to make it right and cut it off when time still hasn't ran itself into the ground and things were still in your favor.

had the relationship stopped when mingi and yunho asked you to, and had you not let him back in the day he came to the dorm, it still wouldn't feel so hard to breathe and you could've been spared the worst possible heartbreak.

but after all, you did it to yourself. so you will wallow in your own pity party and regrets, rethinking of all the stupid choices in life you've made--this being one of many.

you take the time walking back to the dorms and readjusting yourself to make sure your appearance doesn't give off you've been crying all day, and the first time you see him in a few months... he feels like the calm standing in the middle of an ongoing storm.

for just the slightest seconds, you feel relieved at the familiar head of black hair that used to be blonde and the pair of spectacles over his eyes. you forgot how strikingly good looking yeosang actually is.

"hey!" he's the first to greet, one hand in the air by natural reflexes and there's something that dances in his body excitedly before he catches on and tones it down.

"where did you come back from?" he asks after you two agreed on a spot at the side of the building, the ghostly breeze passing by the almost empty area.

"the cafe," you answer, your delivery a lot stronger than expected.

"oh. studying? i just came back from the library after cramming for chemistry."

you just shake your head, not offering anything else. you really are happy to see yeosang again but it's hard to show the enthusiam after what happened today, and yeosang can tell something isn't right.

"hey, you okay?" he speaks softly, attempting to catch a glance of your profile since you have it hidden behind your hair all this time.

and that's all it takes for you to break down again, your tears hurling before you even give it permission, because it hurts so much.

it may had stung with junseo, your ex-boyfriend. but with san, despite the fact you guys never actually dated, the pain is so much more unbearable because you loved san. you still love him.

yeosang can only stare with alerted eyes, unsure how to console you because this scenario is a first.

"i-i just feel so stupid," you drag it out, clogged throat and all, finally turning to face yeosang and he can see how puffy your eyes are even in the poor lighting.

you're not sure why it's him of all people you're telling this to. you just need to get it out of the system, having kept it to yourself for so long like a dark secret that's been slowly killing you from the inside, but now that you're about to spill it, it does feel like some of the burden will be lifted.

"i should've listened to mingi and yunho. i should've never let him back in. i should've never even remotely think that i had a chance."

once you speak, you just keep going. you feel you can trust yeosang.

"i've been seeing san behind their backs, and he dumped me today, obviously and rightfully so. i should've seen it coming," your voice changes from defeat to acceptance so quick, by the time you're finish, only a tired sigh comes out.

yeosang is stunned initially, still not sure how to react at such a raw and vulnerable confession, especially coming from you. but you must've been pushed to the last option judging by the current state.

he's not surprise san turned out to be exactly how he predicted. guys like that are cliche, but girls like you will fall for it because you're too sweet and naive, lacking of experiences and easy to take advantage of.

he had suspicions, but again, it wasn't any of his business.

"and why are you only blaming yourself for it?" his first reply is full of frustration toward the amount of slack you're giving san.

you're about to say something in response but stops because you realize he's right, recalling how mad you were at san before, but now taking it out on yourself.

"if you liked him that much, he knew it for sure and used it against you. i don't know what went down, but you should be kinder to yourself. you need it after whatever that douche just put you through."

you stay quiet, not because you don't have anything to say but because you really needed to hear that after today. something kind and heartwarming.

"i just don't know how i'm going to tell mingi and yunho. eventually they will have to know, i don't want to keep it from them forever."

yeosang curls his lips together, arranging his thoughts before speaking again, "i really do say this with the best intention, and i know mingi and yunho cares for you dearly but at the end of the day, you don't owe them anything. you're your own person and you made a mistake... a choice, and whenever you're ready, you'll tell them."

you reside in the thought for long enough before nodding in agreement. he's probably right. for now, you need time to yourself and to think everything through before pleasing anybody else.

"thank you, yeosang... for listening to me."

he smiles and nod.

"i'm honored to be someone you can trust," he says at the same time he stands up and offers a hand. "i'll walk you to your room."

you start off by throwing away any reminders of him, whether it's the jacket with a humiliating history or the stupid bear he won to fool you, it's all gone. you don't want anything of him left behind.

you can still recognize him by touch, by his unique scent that if it was to whisk past your nose, you would immediately know who it belongs to. sometimes your heart would skip a beat when there's a knock at the door or when your phone goes off with a notification because you're so afraid by chance, it just might be him.

truth is, regardless of anything, thoughts of san will always linger like a bad headache but you just figure it might make it easier.

you focus on refining your drafts and old works, and even started taking more interests in other classes unrelated to your major. as long as your mind is occupied, you won't have time to think about him.

mingi and yunho are busy with their own schedules which you're grateful for in your own callous ways because then, you get to procrastinate on telling them.

before you know it, your routine has reverted back to its old way of tedious school assignments, your job, and long periods of seclusion, it doesn't seem like you're talking to anybody these days.

when you finally decide to leave the dorm for a change of scene, not much options on the list besides the nearby cafe as you send the workers from before a shy smile and head nod, trailing to the usual table at the back.

"this seat taken?" that familiar voice makes you pick your head up from digging through your backpack.

yeosang stands tall and has his own bag hanging over his shoulder, one eyebrow quirking when he meets your gaze.

"no. i just sat as well."

he nods and takes the seat across, throwing his bag to the side before asking, "you feeling any better?"

you blink a few times before shrugging and answering, "i'm okay."

granted it's only been a couple of days, he isn't expecting a world of changes, but just that you're feeling better even if little by little.

"have you talked to mingi or yunho at all ever since?"

"small conversations, mostly texts but haven't really gotten the time to sit down with them and hang out or anything. they're busy."

"i see. haven't really got the time with yunho as well. the guy i work for, he had to run somewhere so the shop was closed early and i just thought i'd pass by."

you hum at his words, reaching for your laptop but yeosang continues on, "by the way, i didn't see you at all in any of the major classes. did you finally took my advice? or am i just pushing it?"

a genuine chuckle makes your mouth burst until your face calms into a smile because thinking of it, it's actually been so long since you've properly spoken to yeosang if not counting the one from days ago.

so many things have happened since then, notably the fall from grace of yours and san's 'relationship' and all the highs and the lows. it's been a while.

most of your past encounters with yeosang was because you two shared the same class, but it's harder now given the circumstances. you haven't even had the chance to tell him he was the one who persuaded you to follow your passion (in the making).

"yeah, i dropped that stupid major so long ago much thanks to you."

"tskk," he scoffs, both flattered and offended because technology is in his blood. "geez, one class and you already sworn off the entire field. funny, because that was actually one of the easier classes."

you have to reframe from an eye roll but give in when a smirk so confidently paints his expression.

"i just found out it wasn't for me the hard way. better now than later."

"and that's okay," he switches from the playful tone to a more stern one, "so, you went into writing after all?"

"yeah..."

"and how are you liking it so far?"

"a lot better," you chuckle lightly and even he returns one, "but i'm still exploring... trying to find my style and who i am when it comes to writing."

there's been times where you felt envious of the students in your class just seeing the average scores on papers and thinking to yourself how is it possible for someone to get such a perfect mark or to be so sure of themselves and who they are when enaging in discussions.

you wish to be that certain of yourself and your abilities.

"that's good. you still have a lot of time so don't rush it."

you don't know what it is, but in the darkest of times and when you're in need of comfort the most, yeosang is always there as the light at the end of the tunnel.

he isn't always around but will show at the right time, and perhaps it's a bit dramatic but it's as if he's your guardian angel--always aware of what to say and do to make you feel better.

you're grateful to have him... especially when he becomes the only thing keeping you sane within the next few days--something to look forward to so you're not stuck dissecting another dream and what it means.

it only takes some desperate appearances at the cafe and some pitiful day-to-day life stories for yeosang to offer you his number, saying you can call or text anytime and he'll respond when he can.

the exchange makes you so happy and honestly is the first feeling of joy in a while that before you know it, you're growing even closer to yeosang and it's almost hysterical thinking back to the first meeting.

some days and nights are easier than others, sometimes able to go the entirety without thinking of san too much or letting that wave of anxiety and doom consume you. and some nights... both of these things would strike hard making you turn and toss until you're staring at the wall lifelessly.

you're not even sure if writing it down will make it any better. you haven't touched that notebook in forever and can't recall the last time you actually wrote in it.

at this point in time, it appears to be just one more reminder of him.

you didn't think anybody would take notice to your behavior, not that there's a plethora of people you know anyways. but aside from mingi and yunho, the only other person who would possibly give a shit about you is your own roommate.

and for as little credits as you tend to give her sometimes, yuna notices, asking out of the blue one sudden morning if you're okay.

it's so abrupt, you have to blink a few times before assuring her you're fine, but she doesn't look convinced in the slightest.

"you've been looking troubled these past few days. sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and you're awake, staring at the ceiling, wall, or on your phone," she says with distress, getting up from her bed to sit at the edge of yours and locking eyes concernedly.

"i know i'm hardly ever around, but if anything's bothering you... you can tell me. i mean, if you want to, of course..."

because you and yuna may hold a lot of differences down to personalities, interests, lifestyle, but she is still a girl. you're a girl. if there's anyone in your life who would be able to relate to stupid boy dramas and getting your heart torn apart by one, it's her.

"it's uh... it's about san," you admit, even his name on your lips already triggering, but maybe telling one more person might rid some of the guilt for not telling mingi and yunho, yet.

"ooh..." she thinks of the name for a second but is quick to remember. "the guy from the party."

"yeah..."

"i could tell he liked you then, but you didn't seem very happy when i brought him up again so i just assumed you guys had something going on but it ended for some reason."

"we had a... thing, i guess you can call it. it was on and off, and mostly stupid. but it's over now and i'm just having a hard time..." you don't finish the sentence, unable to find the words you're looking for.

"being away from him?" yuna adds, a short staring contest ensuing before you nod.

"yeah."

when he becomes a part of your routine, most of your waking moments spent in the presence of him, everything suddenly feels so wrong when he's not by your side.

"sorry to hear," another apologetic tone falls from her. "i can't offer much, but if you need someone or something, i'm here."

you send a gentle smile her way, nodding.

"you listening is enough."

yuna is a good friend and a good person and you can finally appreciate all of it now that you're not so stuck chasing something else.

she buys some treats for you on the way back from her usual rendezvous and although you tell her she didn't have to, you also make sure she knows you appreciate the kind gesture.

you had subtly dropped the hint that she cannot, in any way, let it slip to mingi or yunho--if she by chance ever crosses path with them which you don't doubt could happen considering the proximity in which you live within each other.

but the fact she knows proves to be just about the last push you need to muster up the courage to tell both mingi and yunho.

you think you've held it for long enough and it doesn't seem fair that yeosang and yuna got to know it before them, the ones you swore an oath to only to break it.

the day you plan to fess up, you send a short text to yeosang if he's available to meet at the usual place.

"so you're really going to do it?" is his immediate response to the announcement.

"yeah. i don't know for how much longer i can keep it from them. it's killing me."

"have you thought of how you're going to do it?"

you shake your head, every possible scenario you already thought of not at all satisfying or fitting.

"no, but... i want to tell them in person and be as truthful as possible, down to every last lie."

he nods, a sympathetic look on him but understanding that this is a matter between only the three of you.

"let me know how it turns out. they might be upset for a while but they're still your friends."

for the longest time, you grew up without any form of love or affection from those around you, always falling behind the other kids and feeling as if you didn't belong anywhere.

all of your primary and middle school years spent alone because you were shy and timid and didn't know how to talk to anyone.

mingi was the first to break the ice after noticing one too many times the way you'd always look so lost sitting under that oak tree by yourself, and being a barely fourteen year old social butterfly who at the time didn't understand some circumstances are not by choice, he felt the need to befriend you.

it took a lot of pestering and embarrassing himself to get you to open up, but eventually, you knew he and yunho were people you could trust.

so you didn't only went behind your friends back, but you lied to mingi and yunho, two of the only people to ever show you love and affection.

anything is possible at this point and you believe betrayal is a very reasonable reaction.

you text them when they're off work and likely able to spare some time, asking if they can drop by because you want to talk.

"if you really miss me, you know could've just cal--"

mingi's figure halfway through the crack of the door stops when he meets yunho's equally perplexed glare, both of them unknowing to the fact the other was gonna be showing up.

"what? is this some kind of surprise because we haven't hung out in so long?" he closes the door and stands before you and yunho, who shrugs in response.

"i just got here as well."

while the two continues jokingly theorizing the reason you called them here, your body is tense the entire time because they really are in front of you now and you're so nervous about their reactions it sounds like their voices have muffled into a commotion matching your heartbeat until you're blurting out, "i've been seeing san behind your guys back all this time."

the silence after is so deadly, from the way the small talk immediately stops to the fall of their expressions as the room grows uneasy.

"you're kidding me," yunho is the first of the two to say something.

"i'm being serious, and i know what i did is awful," you go on because you told yourself you wouldn't stop until everything is out, but it proves to be more of a struggle than predicted despite the preparation because of the two, the person you expected to have the most compassion, looks the angriest right now.

"i don't expect you guys to--"

but your words are cut short when mingi just turns around and leave the room instead, your sight starting to blur as you fight back the tears.

yunho deflates with a sigh of his chest and shake his head at you, disappointment all over his face that crushes your soul because letting your friends down actually feels so much worse.

"when? why? and for how long?" he interrogates.

"around the beginning of summer? i-i promise, i did tried to stay away at first but then he came into my room and--"

"--jesus christ, y/n. that's almost what? four, five months?"

"i know." and you just start bawling then, absolutely guilty and wrong and ashamed.

"he didn't force anything on you, did he? because i swear, i will knock his fucking teeth out."

"he didn't," you deny weakly, a silence hanging in the air as yunho's at loss for words, honestly still so many questions running through his mind.

and then you tell him everything. from the night san busted into your room to the secret meetups, the carnival date, the trip, the parties, and down till the last second where he 'dumped' you pathetically.

he's not taking it very well but he's taking it a lot better than you expected, and is surprisingly the least upset of the two. said you can still reach out to him but he's going to need some time.

you don't hear from mingi for the next four days. he doesn't answer to any of your calls or messages.

it's rare and unusual to see him genuinely upset, you could probably count on one hand the amount of time something really pissed him off.

you hurt him and is now suffering from the consequences.

once yunho starts coming around, he replies to one of your texts regarding mingi and said for you to also give him time. that sooner or later, he will most likely want to talk to you about it. tell him what you told yunho but know that you lied and broke their trusts in some form.

in the midst of dealing with your friends not speaking to you, yeosang keeps you company for most days.

he entertains you by telling stories of his day-to-day job working at a computer repair shop, most of the time spent assembling customized gaming pcs, that if you're to ever stop by, he can teach you a thing or two (if you're interested).

"the guy that owns the shop, he's chill. but on slow days, i use the time to do most of my school works," he tells you.

and time passes by like that until mingi's ready to talk.

he makes an appearance by paying a surprise visit one unsuspecting evening, a knock at your door to a sullen look on him.

"hey," you awkwardly greet, attempting to lessen the tension with a light smile after.

"let's talk."

he walks himself in, flopping on the edge of your bed as he pats the spot beside for you to take a seat.

there's no prolonging or beating around the bush, and you're honestly glad for it, dying to address and settle everything to savor the few things you still have.

"i want to know, how long exactly after that conversation we had did you start seeing him again?"

the serious, sullen look on him never leaves, and it only intensifies when he asks that question. you try the best digging into scraps of your memories for accuracy but truthfully, the timeline is a little hazy.

but from mingi and yunho telling you to stay away from san to the day you relasped, it must've been a month at least.

"i did mean what i said at the time, i swear."

because you don't want him to think that the lies already started then; only giving him what he wanted to hear, if that's why he's asking you the question.

"i didn't text or call him, and if he did, i ignored him. i was spending most of my time inside or at the cafe and i was fortunate enough yeosang was there sometimes to accompany me. he even showed up drunk one time but i kicked him out."

you tell him the things you did right first, because you know you're about to disappoint him.

"then he came again one day, and i just... gave in. that must've been about a month after the conversation."

the manner in which mingi's shoulders drop the same time he heaves out irritatedly is expected, only watching in silence as he rakes his hair in frustration.

"what pains me the most is not that you lied to me, but that you would willingly hurt yourself."

he's had time to come to terms with the fact although it bugged him greatly because it just wasn't you... to lie countless times, and over a guy. but to some extent, he can let it slide depending on the circumstances.

but what he can't get around to is you going back to san, knowing one-hundred percent in the deepest of your heart whether you want to deny it or not, that he won't be able to give you what you want.

that you will get hurt, you are going to get hurt.

he tries his best to protect you without all the coddling or cradling, afraid of coming off overbearing but it is so disheartening to watch you do this to yourself.

it must take a level of low self-esteem and self-hatred, and... he really just feel so fucking sorry for you.

"and the worst part was that he actually tried ending things sooner and i was the one to seek him out for the last time," you unveil because he's right and the only thing you know how to do when guilty is to fess up.

"he said maybe someday, he could see himself with me... but not right now."

sympathy is quick to take over mingi, because in spite of it all, he will always hold a soft spot for you.

"and you're not thinking he actually means what he said, now do you?"

because san's a dickhead and could be using that as leverage for the last time; give you false hope and feed ideas into your gullible mind that there's a chance; a maybe in the future.

"the first part? no." you chuckle bitterly. "i won't ever be the one for him and i don't wish for anything more between us from now on."

"good. because fuck that guy. i hope for nothing but only the worst for him."

and for all your fuck-ups and downfalls, you don't know if you're ever deserving of mingi whose only punishments is the four days of silent treatments, and that for the next two months, he's going to be wrecking your wallet because you're now responsible for treating him and yunho.

it's as if getting a slap on the wrist for what you did, you will be eternally grateful.

he also tells you--in light of trying to find the positives in a rather fucked-up situation, that in some sick and messed up way, at least you experienced what it's like to love someone.

that you may feel san left you hanging, but him running you off is closure. it is as much of an ending as it can be.

a week and a half after you talked to mingi, mostly everything went back to normal.

you had been so scared confessing your sins to your two best friends, deathly afraid they wouldn't forgive you only for yunho to start speaking to you again not even a day later.

a repetitive routine, tedious school works and job; you're all too used to it by now, going on most days like there still isn't a lasting sadness always present and your heart still isn't healing.

you're better, but not completely okay.

mingi notices as he always does, spewing something about the best way to get over a broken heart is to have some fun, joining hands with your roommate behind your back in order to drag you to some club-restaurant.

you had put on exactly what she suggested: a black silk dress that hugs your frame perfectly, heels you can barely walk in--plus she even did your hair and makeup.

"come on, y/n. you look totally hot," yuna assures, after you told the both of them 'to get over someone is to go under someone else' isn't gonna work and you're not gonna start shaking ass on some random stranger.

"yeah, lighten up a little. but we're not only here to pimp you out, we're also here to feast and to officially say: fuck that son of a bitch, choi san, he can--"

"--oh my gosh, can you be any louder?" you hiss, flustered by the volume.

"actually, i can. he's so lucky to have his balls still intact because the urge to cut them off."

"can't believe i thought he was nice," yuna joins.

"that's how it all starts, honey."

you dismiss the chattering and switch focus to the dance floor that's actually quite empty, but mingi had made a point about more people turning up later. and truthfully, the place kind of scares you just as every loud and obnoxious settings do.

"no but forreal y/n, don't worry if you're unable to find anyone. we got just the perfect person for you."

you don't think too much of what he said, disregarding it like you do to all things mingi, only for yunho to show with none other than yeosang not even ten minutes later.

you were wondering where he was.

"sit your fucking asses down, i'm starving," mingi urges the two boys who finally sits after a few comments under their breath, and of course, yeosang is in the middle and facing you.

"hi, i'm yuna. you must be yeosang," your roommate introduces herself. it would be their first time meeting.

he nods and ushers her a thin smile, muttering out a "nice to meet you."

"so what are we getting? any suggestions?" yunho speaks.

"margarita, anyone?" mingi says, sloppily flipping through the menu.

"okay, at least one of us needs to stay sober to keep eyes on the rest just so nobody does anything stupid."

mingi blows, mocking the idea.

"no, fuck that. we're here to have fun and are taking cabs back anyway. might as well go all out."

"and by nobody, i mean you," yunho rebuts.

"i'm great at handling my alcohol, right, y/n?" he looks to you but you only brush it off with a chuckle because if there's anyone to do something stupid under the influence, it's definitely mingi.

"i'll just take a pepsi," yeosang chips in, offering to be that person. "i'm not great with alcohol."

you stare at him momentarily before agreeing, "yeah, me too. i'll take lemonade."

"geez, it's like i'm out with my grandparents," mingi snarks, you and yeosang locking eyes briefly before giggling quietly.

after some time and a lot of quarrelling, you guys decide on a pepperoni pizza and some hot wings, mingi pressuring the two boys next to him to go up and order.

they're barely a feet away from the table when your friend and roommate already start sticking their noses up your business.

"so..." the both of them echo together, it's scary how in sync they are. mingi being the one to eventually finish it off.

"what do you think of yeosang?" he hasn't even blinked at all.

"he's... cool." you shrug, the answer making both of them roll their eyes.

"cool? bitch please."

"he is totally cute, though," yuna adds.

"right. and smart, and totally one-hundred percent approved by us, and was there for y/n when chicken boy san fucked her over even though she was bitching about him at first."

"enemies to lovers?"

"that's what i'm saying!"

"you guys are so dramatic," you squeak, annoyed, "and i'm not gonna use yeosang just to get over him. that would be unfair to yeosang."

the both of them hum and nod, actually in agreement.

"you're right. yeosang shouldn't be a rebound. he's a keeper, that means after you get your shit together--"

he stops when he can hear the two making their way back to the table, passing a knowing glare to both you and yuna before dropping the topic.

and just when you think they would forget about it--too busy chewing your own food and listening to the chitters and music, you completely miss the exchange between your friend and roommate as they smirk mischievously and mumbles something inaudibly to each other.

"i'm full, anyone up for some dancing?" yuna picks her head your direction, the food in your mouth not even fully swallowed when she snatches your wrist and hauls it to the dance floor, "let's dance, y/n."

in the midst of your protest, you can hear yeosang in the background as mingi drags him along.

yunho is unable to do anything except laugh because it was so obvious what the two was trying to do, having caught the act himself.

"yuna, i don't know how to dance," you tell her, eyeing the people around you up and down as they grind against each other.

"you don't need to know how. just have fun!" she playfully pushes you by the shoulder, rocking her head to the beat of the song playing.

and just as you start loosening up a little, someone crashes into your back... rather purposely.

"oop, sorry. didn't see you there," mingi apologizes for yeosang who was the one to bump into you because he was pushing the boy through the crowd like a ragdoll.

you already know where this is going and they're so annoying for it.

there's a second where you and yeosang meet eyes, but are quickly taken away when yuna speaks again.

"well dang, i think i drank a little too much. gonna head to the restroom."

"yeah, me too. that margarita, man," mingi exaggerates, and just like that, they're both scuttling away. leaving you on the dance floor with yeosang.

you're livid at your friends for setting you up, but once you turn to yeosang and sees the soft look in his eyes, some of the rage dissipates.

"well, uh... you look good," he starts by complimenting your outfit, because he's never seen you in that style before. it suits you, he thinks.

"thanks, i guess." you chuckle it off, because yes, you meet him occasionally in the cafe, but this setting is so different and so is the vibe right now. "it all belongs to yuna."

"still looks good on you."

and you're thankful for the dark lightings in here as a blush run across your cheeks.

"i don't know how to dance at all," you confess again out of thin air, bringing a laughter from him.

"me too. this is my first time at a place like this. it's... interesting."

he looks around, and so do you, able to see through the open spaces and spot annoying ass mingi and yuna just off to the side and watching the two of you like hawks.

"if you--" you're cut short when someone elbows you from behind, losing your footing only to fall onto yeosang's chest exactly like a scene from some soap opera.

he balances you out by catching your hips, staring down at you and asking, "you okay?"

you nod, pushing yourself back up.

the night was interesting for sure, and if not for the fact you actually ended up having plenty of fun on the floor even though you could barely dance to save your life, you would never let mingi and yuna live this one off.

yeosang was better than you of course, but it was kind of amusing watching him and yourself try it for the first time.

the rest are drunk enough when it's time to head back, you and yeosang are the only ones still right in the mind.

you take the bills as promised but yeosang offers for the other half, and even in mingi's drunken state, you can clearly hear him passing a comment and telling the both of you to get a room.

halfway into october, things start looking more promising, and again, you feel a little better. not completely okay, just always better than the last time.

your periods of isolation or with yeosang at the cafe were quick to turn into group hangouts when mingi and yunho would join, and occasionally, yuna.

you grow closer with the other two and in a long time, finally allow yourself to make space for someone else besides just mingi and yunho.

by the end of the month, almost every last remnants of san is gone.

it first began during a conversation you were having with mingi, when he casually threw in the revelation that he's no longer friends with wooyoung.

you had felt so guilty at first, feeling like it was your fault. mingi and wooyoung had clicked immediately and were so compatible together. but because you were stupid and ignored all warnings, you ruined a perfectly good friendship.

but mingi had assure you that it was his choice. he no longer wanted to be friends with someone who still associated with san. people come and go, and wooyoung won't be the last, no matter how good of a friend he was.

there was no fight, really, he said. he confronted wooyoung and he just offered to move out. wooyoung must've felt bad about it, but there was no use in dwelling.

mingi has a new roommate now and though they didn't click as fast as he did with wooyoung, he will learn to get along with him.

and in your last attempt to rid all reminders of san, it ended with you quitting your job. the job you got because of him.

it was definitely a risky move considering your age and lack of experience, but you thought long and hard about it, finally pulling the trigger when yeosang told you he might be able to talk to his boss into opening up another position if you're interested.

but whether you get the job or not, you feel you made the right decision.

fortunately, when november comes around, yeosang breaks the news that you got the job. it would be a cleaning position considering the guy is rarely ever around and he needs someone to tidy up the shop when yeosang's too busy running it.

by mid november, mingi brings up the idea that you should join a book club, later supported by yunho and yeosang when you ask for their thoughts.

he said it's a great way for you to meet other like-minded people who mostly likely share a similar passion for writing. that you can learn a thing or two by exposing yourself to just more than your classes.

you were unsure initially because the semester is already coming to an end, but yeosang had convinced you there's still many more to come and was worth giving it a try.

you find the head of the club's email after lurking on the school website and she gives you all informations needed and tells you to be there this friday, the one weekday they usually meet.

said you can come and see for yourself first before she puts you on the official roster.

when friday arrives, you look for the room number she had given but didn't have to look far because it's obvious by the amount of people lining up outside.

you merely have just gotten in line, observing each and every of their faces to hopefully see someone you recognize but to no luck, turning to the sound of incoming footsteps instead, and much to your shock and irony, you see someone you haven't in forever.

popping in with his dark hair and wide smile, he recognizes you as well, waving in the air with a hint of surprise in his eye.

"hey!" he stops in front of you.

"hey hongjoong. wow... it's been so long," you can't help but to comment the obvious which he returns with a short chuckle.

"yeah it has. what are you doing here? haven't seen you around at all."

you give him a shy smile before replying, "i took on your advice and started writing a little... so my friends thought it would be good if i joined the club to expand my interest."

"really?" he looks genuinely taken aback, "that's great! creative writing as well?"

"yeah." you nod. "i thought you didn't go to our school."

"oh, i don't. but i just like hanging around, also because the campus is close to mine and the discussions here are quite compelling so i usually drop by."

"i see." you smile.

"you'll like it, don't worry."

there's so many things you wish to ask hongjoong, given the time he's been away and the heaps of events that has happened since. you did say so yourself that if you meet him again, you would want to hear his story.

“that’s a first. but thanks. if you told me a couple years ago that i’d end up choosing writing, i wouldn’t believe it either. it was never really something i was ever into or cared too much for growing up.” he pauses briefly.

“but there was a tough period in my life, and to deal with it, i kind of just started journaling and writing my thoughts down onto whatever paper or notebooks i could find, and it made me feel a little better afterward.”

hongjoong may not know it, but for someone who's hardly ever in your life, he has quite an indirect impact with just what he said at that party alone.

you feel in some way, hongjoong is your other half, though loosely: long, lost tortured souls who pours their miseries out onto papers and write their feelings away.

but just as you open your mouth to say something, the door swings open and the students start rushing inside. you figure you will ask him after.

you sit in the back and watch the entire time as the group of students ramble on about the book they all read for the week, hongjoong just slightly off at the side and listening to the discussion but will provide inputs from time to time.

after an hour, and after everyone agreed on a new book, you tell the head of the club to put you on the roster, figuring it's something you want to partake in, but you won't admit hongjoong's addition also played a role in the decision.

you thought you were gonna have to run and catch up, but thankfully, he was waiting at the door for you.

"what did you think?" he asks on the walk together.

"it was interesting for sure. fun to see everyone's take on it."

"oh, yeah." he snickers.

it's then that you debate whether you should ask, fearful of coming off intrusive but you also may never get the chance again.

"hey hongjoong..." you kick off, making him spin his head slightly to face you, one eyebrow quirking attentively.

"yes?"

"back at the party, you talked about going through a tough period. i was just wondering if you're comfortable enough to share what it was? no pressure though, just thought i'd take the chance."

he goes blank for a second and you're thinking you might've crossed the line, but your chest drop in relief once a warm smile coats his lips.

"i don't mind. if it will help."

because he also gets the feeling that in some ways, you're like him.

"it was freshman year of high school and i was stupid just as every other boys my age was, and had the bright idea of sneaking into our school's pool at night because it sounded fun and rebellious, and it made us felt cool."

you can tell where the story is heading, but hongjoong doesn't look fazed by it at all. he keeps going.

"it was me and two of my other friends at the time. none of us knew how to swim, and amidst all the fucking around, pushing and pulling, one of my friends fell into the ten feet pool. at first i thought he was messing with us, but it got obvious pretty quickly that all of us were idiots and he really was drowning."

"my other friend went after him. he wasn't a great swimmer but he was the most athletic out of us and i remember at the time, i felt so freaking scared and helpless, i didn't know what to do. what if he couldn't find him as well? what if something happen to the both of them?"

"i'm so sorry... did your friends make it out okay?"

he nods.

"yeah. but the first one was blue in the face when my other friend found him. we honestly weren't sure he was gonna make it. he's fine now. they're both fine. but i don't think i've ever felt that much fear in my life before. it fucked me up for years after... that's when i started journaling."

"oh..."

if you didn't know, you never would have guessed someone like hongjoong, always so kind and lively, went through something so horrible.

now, it's as if he's an entirely new person. nothing to show that he was the traumatized boy in the story at all. you wonder how he does it.

"how did you overcome the trauma? you seem... so much better now."

he dryly chuckles.

"well, it wasn't easy. i thought i could overcome it on my own as well, but when i was becoming merely a shell of the person i once was, not getting out of my room or interacting with anybody, my mother took matters into her own hand and took me to therapy."

"therapy?" you repeat, mostly talking under your breath but hongjoong hears it nonetheless.

"yes. it's now why i'm able to talk about the situation somewhat without breaking down or reliving it all over again. you may think that over time, it will pass and one day, you won't even think of it anymore. but you close your eyes and it comes back to haunt you, you can't get it out of your head, and then you realize... it will continue happening unless you get help. in therapy, i've not only developed coping skills, but i've also learned to heal from my past."

you don't say anything, but are listening so keenly, every of his words ingrained like you can recite them for yourself.

"the lady i saw, she was really good. i still keep in contact with her to this day. if you want, i can give you the address of their office."

he don't have to ask because he just knows, that you two really are long, lost tortured souls who pours their miseries out onto papers and write their feelings away.

and if he's correct, you will need just as much help as he did.

when you finally bring it up to mingi, he thinks it's the greatest idea ever. so great that he can't believe he didn't think of it himself, being a psychology major and all.

the only problem he had at first was that you heard it from hongjoong, a friend of wooyoung, and knowing all too well who that ties back to, you had to assure him that hongjoong is good.

but you have expressed doubts regarding seeking therapy, that it would be beneficial but would take up so much time and not to mention, money. but mingi is adamant about it, that no matter the time or money, it would be worth it for your mental health.

"no, bitch. you need therapy," he would say.

and after a couple more pushes from your other friends, you cave and make the first phone call to the office, a sweet lady answering on the other side as you give her your name and information and the reasons why you would like to schedule an appointment.

she tells you that within the next few days, the therapist will call you again for a more in-depth discussion before she can meet you in-person at the office for the first session.

and though initially doubtful and hesitant, the one-on-one conversation with the therapist over the phone makes you so hopeful that this is gonna work out because she sounded so sweet and understanding, just like how hongjoong described her.

mingi offers to come along for the first in-person appointment, reassuring you through the nervous, shaken hands and pounding heart, that when you walk out of that building today, you are gonna feel so much better.

you want for him to be right, that the efforts put in so far are gonna be worth it. and the minute you walk into the therapist's office, a middle aged lady with a welcoming smile that could warm the entire room, you for some reason just knew then, it's gonna work out.

you start off by telling her about your upbringing. mainly your parents, how your mom accidentally got pregnant at a young age and how she never failed to remind you of it, most of your adolescents were of you being passed around when one parent got too tired.

then you move onto your aunt and uncle, that you started living with them after your mom dropped you off one sudden day and ran away with another man, as told by your aunt. to this day, you have no idea what your father's up to, but you know he doesn't want you.

if he did, he would've came back for you so long ago.

and lastly, the romantic partners in your life; men, who most likely fucked up your view of love forever, or at least for a very long time, which is why you're here in hope to reverse that.

learn to love again, and that just because some pretty boy with dimples and broad shoulders lied to you one too many times and broke your heart, it's not the end of the world.

you are gonna be okay without him, no matter how good he used to make you feel or how strong the butterflies were when he was around.

you are gonna learn to be okay.

dr. hwang, as she tells you to call her by, said she took notes of everything you have told her so far and has a plan for what would be the best type of treatment for you but you'll have to come back for another session just to make sure.

by end of the appointment, taking the elevator back to the first floor, mingi pries away from the magazine he was reading and runs to you immediately.

"how was it?"

you smile at him, something hopeful and optimistic in your eyes.

"good. i think it's going to work."

# last entry

it's been a while since i've written in this thing, and honestly, i was losing my motivation to return because a lot have happened since... and this notebook really does hold so many memories of him. but this was where it all started so it's only fair i give it a proper goodbye. but i've officially made up my mind and will no longer be writing in this notebook anymore. i still have a passion for writing and i realize it is something i want to commit to, but i just won't be doing it here. my life's gone through a few changes and i just wish to leave a some things behind, this being one of them. but one day when i become a much better writer (hopefully), i can come back and laugh at this silly little journal. i have no idea what the next few years have in store or if therapy's going to fix me entirely, but i hope to become someone my current present self can look up to

sincerely, y/n

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#i had major memory loss #writing this chapter #so if u see any retcons or contradictions #spare me pls #ateez angst #ateez x reader #san x reader #choi san x reader #yeosang x reader #kang yeosang x reader #san angst #ateez series #fic: broken

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