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swiftllama · 8 months

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Anthony Complimenting Ian ☀️🔍

“I think that’s a big difference in us reuniting, is I am so willing to praise you and mention your strengths.”

Hey guys! Been working on this post for a while and so happy to finally share!

Before we knew of their reunion, there was this window of time where Anthony kept complimenting Ian on social media. That stood out to me then, especially after having very little interaction between them in so long. But now having the context that they were actually hanging out again behind the scenes, and that Anthony now makes a conscious effort to compliment/praise Ian makes it all the more sweeter. The said compliments I mentioned were posted at the time but the fandom wasn’t as active as it now is again so I wanted to compile a list of all the moments of Anthony complimenting Ian from their reunion to present for anyone who might’ve missed it. Enjoy!

Pre-Reunion

Okay so this first post is actually from before they reconnected. We know from the Smosh Reunion t-shirt that they reconnected in November 2022 and this post is from July 2022.

I like to think Anthony was in a better place with his emotions towards Smosh/Ian by this point, and that Ian had been on his mind and so a nice little compliment was to be had.

Post-Reunion

April 2023

5 months post-reunion and Anthony’s feeling more confident to joke around whilst still complimenting Ian. You love to see it! And Ian’s reply, him getting all embarrassed is cute 🤭

It also reminded me of these tweets from back in September 2017 :-

Confirmed: Anthony has a thing for calling Ian ‘daddy’. Noted. 👀

May 2023

Less than a month later and Anthony was back at it again with the compliments

Ian looks good and Anthony is determined to tell him at every opportunity!

And then…

June 2023

THE (PUBLIC) REUNION

And so ensued an abundance of compliments.

Anthony’s Interview

First lot of praise we saw from Anthony to Ian was in his interview with him. Tumblr sadly doesn’t allow you to add more than one video to a post so these are all quotes from said interview.

Like the tweet above of Ian getting his first chain necklace, they reference it once again. Ian is talking about how even though they’ve grown as people they haven’t changed that much, he references the fact Anthony has “more bling and tattoos” now, Anthony then interjects with :-

“Hey, you got a little bling too, let’s not discount it.”

Ian then shows the jewellery off and Anthony comes in saying “Baby’s first chain.” I like to think he was the first one to say that when Ian got the chain and where Ian got the inspo for his Twitter caption. Anthony then finishes this topic of conversation off by adding on that Ian also got “face bling too” in reference to his glasses. I know this isn’t really a full-out compliment and they’re just kinda messing about, but I think it still stands with Anthony saying that’s something that’s changed between them now is that he’s willing to compliment him, and I love how when Ian tries to downplay something about himself, Anthony jumps straight in there to lift him up too.

Another complimentary moment from the interview was when Anthony was talking about when he was 15 and came down with an autoimmune disease resulting in him missing half a year of school and Ian got a bunch of people to sign a ‘Get Well Soon’ card to give to Anthony to make him feel better.

“There is one moment, one thing that you did for me, when we were younger that really stood out to me that I never mentioned to you and I never thanked you for. I’ve been holding it in and I have never expressed it…. I don’t know how you got it to me, but somehow you got a ‘get well soon’ card that you gave to me - Okay, I don’t know if it was you who came up with the idea or your mom, or if like your mom told you, you had to do it. And a whole a bunch of people signed it and you wrote a message like ‘get well soon, we can’t wait to see you again’. And that, it really meant a lot to me, and yeah, it kinda kept me motivated and focused, and I don’t know why but for some reason it motived me to learn how to program a website, program a game, and I feel like because of that in some ways I was able to channel all my energy into creating the things that eventually culminated in what the foundation of Smosh was.”

I really love this moment, and I think it really shows Anthony’s growth. As was revealed in his letter to Ian, there was a period of time in which he felt he had more of a hand in creating Smosh in the early days, but the fact he can now acknowledge and recognise Ian’s input in it all, even before Smosh was a thing, and thank him for it really shows how far Anthony has come.

The last lot of praise from the interview is actually something Anthony has mentioned multiple times as you will see later on in this post and that is about their dynamic and how they work together.

“I think the fact we work in such different ways, like I’m able to really hyper-focus on something and put all my energy, just like back-to-back constantly in one chunk, I think that works really well when compared against the way that you work, where you are super creative and..”

Ian interjects by saying his head is “up in the clouds” when he works. Anthony continues by saying that Ian needs to be there to come up with the ideas that he does and then praises him once more :-

“I could never come up with most of the ideas that you come up with, but I feel I know how to formulate it and put it together.”

Next lot of praise for the month was this tweet :-

Anthony praising Ian, along with everyone else who had a hand in keeping Smosh going all these years. Similar to something he said at Vidcon when he interviewed Ian once again :-

“I just want to say huge, huge respect to you for staying with Smosh. For having that faith in it that it could continue to grow and be something bigger…” [audience cheers and Anthony points to Ian] “So huge, huge respect to Ian. That took a lot of tenacity - the tenacity you said I had, that’s where you really showed up. And Ian had to learn how to be a leader, Ian had to learn how to do all these things where he was just thrown into that because I made the decision to leave because Smosh, what it had become, was eating a hole in me and I felt I needed to walk away to figure myself out, to just grow on my own and I’m so thankful that you stuck around to keep it going so that we could do this [own Smosh again].”

And there was more where that came from and leads me onto the next lot of compliments :-

Vidcon 2023

“When Ian came over to my place to write… I remember I was sitting on the coffee table writing these jokes and you would say something and it would totally catch me off guard just like you used to do.”

Anthony said this so fondly to Ian, the “just like you used to do.” It goes back to what he said during his interview with Ian, which he got emotional about, that during the lunch where they reconnected properly for the first time, he saw his childhood friend in that moment. That despite how much they had both changed, the Ian he knew, the only one who can make him laugh like he does, was and is still there.

Anthony goes on to bring up their working dynamic again as he did in his interview :-

“While we were writing that sketch, while we were shooting it, there was this feeling - I didn’t realise it, but there was something missing from my creative process. Especially in creating comedy, that Ian just perfectly… I don’t know if I want to say yin and yang - I don’t know what I want to say about it. But it was just this perfect balance, that feels like in order for us to reach our fullest potential creatively, us working together is, in my heart, the only way for that to really reach its fullest capacity.”

Ian then responds in his usual way, trying to downplay his efforts by agreeing that their dynamic works well that way because he’s, in his own words, “kind of lazy.”

Anthony is quick to jump in though :-

“I think that’s a misconception, you’re not lazy.”

I love how he just outright refuses to let Ian talk down about himself nowadays. He will absolutely not have it!

Ian continues on and compliments Anthony in return by saying he is very ‘tenacious’ and ‘focused’, and ‘particular about things.’ Whereas Ian’s way of working, as Anthony goes on to say, is “throwing stuff out” and Anthony likes to pick out the best of the best from those ideas. And this is when we got the first of the ☀️🔍 analogies :-

“It feels almost like Ian is the sun radiating all these ideas in every direction, and then I’m the magnifying glass that’s like ‘let’s focus on this one, let’s make this one fire. This one’s amazing.’ And something about just the way that we work together just meshes so perfectly, and I think that’s how we became best friends in sixth grade, that’s how we established our sense of humour and why the Smosh videos that we created resonated with so many people, is because there is that perfect dichotomy between us.”

Do you think Anthony thinks their dynamic is perfect? I don’t know 🤔 I don’t think he mentioned it enough.

Jokes aside, it is very sweet. And I love how much he loves their connection.

The next lot of compliments come straight after the quote of Anthony praising Ian for sticking with Smosh whilst he was gone :-

“I’m super thankful - you know for the past six years it just felt like there was a hole in there [in his heart]. You know I’ve been creating my own interview series and it’s felt like this is a great way for me to be able to express a part of me, but not all of me. And that other part of me that wasn’t being expressed is that part of me that I now get to experience with you, and working with you, my childhood best friend, in creating something and being able to capture that magic and express it, and be able to present it for all of you [the audience], it’s a really, really great feeling.”

Ian then responds with another little compliment of his own :-

“I think on my side, you know when you left I was still making sketch comedy, I was still writing, but I never found the same kind of writing partner that I did after you. It was never the same. The way that we work together, I never quite found that kind of person to easily bounce ideas off to, so I kind of stepped back a little bit from the writing.”

It also reminds me of something Ian said during Anthony’s interview, about how they have this level of ‘trust’ between them, that Ian never found again with anyone else after Anthony left. Makes me so soft, they feel so lucky to have each other again. No one quite gets them like the other does and they can never replace what they have. Their connection truly is special.

This is more of a silly one and just them joking around but I’m including it anyways! They had a Q&A session with the audience after the interview and the person asking the question starts off by introducing themselves and saying how they met Ian the other day and apologises for calling him “old.”

They both laugh and Ian pretends to begin to walk off stage. And then, you guessed it, Anthony swoops in with a retort :-

“Hey! He’s 35 years young.”

Moving on to later the same day, after playing a live version of TNTL with the cast, they all had a sit-down Q&A :-

Q: “What inspires you? What made you who you are?”

And of course, as if he hadn’t already killed us enough, Anthony has to go and say this :-

“I’m about to say something totally whack. I’d say, Ian and my friendship when we first started really connecting. I feel like Ian taught me to not take myself too seriously and his sense of humour is just all over the place and I eat that shit up, I think it’s so funny.”

Like wtf. WHAT THE FUCK.

Ian’s reaction to him saying that pretty much sums up my emotions.

And that was it for Vidcon!

Except if you count this little cherry on top and the perfect closing to June as the picture is from Vidcon :-

Anthony being obsessed with Ian on main! You love to see it!

July 2023

Started off July with a bang and the ☀️🔍 article :-

Never getting over this! Anthony just loves the sun and magnifying glass analogy and I couldn’t be more here for it. Ian is the sun in his life 💛🖤

Ian Reads Anthony’s Angry Letter

And then came the infamous letter video. Which even though there were a few hurtful things revealed, there still managed to be a few nods of acknowledgment towards Ian even in that hurt Anthony felt.

As mentioned earlier in this post, in part of the letter Anthony writes that in the early days of Smosh he wanted it to be something ‘he’ made with Ian’s help, and that he considered Ian to only be “tagging along”. He goes on to apologise [in the letter] for if he ever made Ian feel like he didn’t deserve as much credit as he did.

“You may not have done some of the heavy lifting I did in the early days, but definitely encouraged us to keep going and you kept things light and full of laughs as we did it. We accomplished so much and I am just now realising how important you were in making that happen.”

Anthony then brings up something that happened recently between them :-

“But that thing that you read there - you did, and this was actually really nice for me to hear from you. It was a few days after we had confirmation that we had bought Smosh, you came over to my place, we had a little celebratory hang; very luxurious. We chilled with cigars and some whiskey, and we just bro-ed it up, and you said that to me. That exact thing - you said, “hey, I don’t think I ever really acknowledged the heavy lifting that you did in the early days” and you said that you “felt really lucky to be there at that time and that I included you in that.” And that was really nice to hear, even though I know.”

So I know technically this compliment/praise/acknowledgment isn’t new as the letter was written in 2017, but it’s ‘new’ to us. But I’m glad to hear that Anthony does acknowledge Ian’s involvement in Smosh’s success, even in the early days when Anthony was doing more of the technical things. He acknowledges that Ian still had a role to play in it all being what it was.

Ian agrees with what Anthony is saying, and that he always felt ‘guilt’ over the fact Anthony had to do the things he didn’t have the skillset to do, but recognises that he didn’t acknowledge or thank Anthony enough for it because he was ‘afraid’ that he might have to do more when their whole thing was about doing “equal work” because they felt as a duo they had to, and that if the other felt they were doing more work then there was some resentment there. Ian tries to downplay himself by joking “In most cases you were doing more work than me…” but Anthony is quick to jump in again and not allow it.

“I was doing more hours, but I think you were doing more of the creative heavy-lifting which is more taxing in many ways. So I think that you needed your time to recoup your energy, cause you’re coming up with funny stuff, and at that time I was like ‘I’m doing so much work’.”

Also another mention of Ian’s creativity and humour when it comes to writing, that Anthony acknowledges he wouldn’t be able come up with. But you can see where the ‘resentment’ they talked of came from, and why Anthony felt he was doing more. When in reality it’s just that’s their strengths lie in different areas, but that doesn’t make the work they both do individually any less important. So I am happy they can see that now and praise each other for the unique ways in which they shine which compliments their own strengths in their own special ways.

WE WERE ROBBED! Watch Party

It happened again. Anthony calling Ian ‘daddy’. Can we just all agree that he has a thing for it? Okay. Good.

They’re discussing how everyone in chat is poking fun at Ian for saying “you guys are a fun bunch” to the rest of the group during the ‘Do Men Know Reproductive Anatomy?’ Smosh Pit video and how it was a ‘dad’ comment. Ian reads out a comment talking about how Arasha called him ‘dad’ and he says “[she] can because she’s my son”. And then Mr ‘Ian is Daddy’ Padilla jumps in with the correction once again :-

Anthony: “I think you’re becoming ‘daddy’.”

Ian: [asks if it’s when he puts his glasses on]

Anthony: “Especially.”

Ian: [puts glasses on]

Anthony: “Oh damn, daddy.”

Like why is this Anthony’s thing now? Whatever the reason - I’m here for it.

Also, Ian doesn’t like to be referred to as ‘pops’ but Anthony’s into it. So, Daddy and Pops. It’s settled. Love our parents 👨‍👨‍👧‍👦

Smosh Mouth

And just like we started July, we ended it the same - with a bang!

I urge you if you haven’t seen it yet (or even if you have), to go watch this video. It may as well have been named ‘Praise Ian Hour’. Not only have we got Anthony, but also Shayne and Amanda coming in to add to the many compliments.

I know all these compliments the others were giving Ian were probably making Anthony’s heart swell with pride. To know that not only himself, but everyone else also recognises Ian’s strengths. To know that these things he loves about Ian, others see in him too.

So a lot of the video was the others complimenting Ian rather than from Anthony himself, but he agreed with everything they were saying and added a few little tidbits. So this next lot of compliments will be what Shayne and Amanda said, along with Anthony’s comments :-

Amanda: [talking about when she first auditioned for Smosh] “And I’ll never forget after I did that [read the script], it was really fun - they asked me a question, and I was in a really interesting place in my life… And they were like “If you could have one superpower, what would it be?” and I just said “Vulnerability.”… And I’ll never forget, Ian stood up and went “Do you write comedy also?” and I said “Yeah!”, and he went [nods] and he shook my hand.”

Anthony: [grinning ear to ear] “He knew. He knew.”

Happy boy loving hearing people praise his bff 🥰

“I think honestly that statement alone is exactly why you’re doing a podcast. I think Ian was able, if he really did know in that moment, I think it probably was seeing that there was more to you than just the comedy, there’s more depth there, there’s multiple layers, and you can build on that a lot more than just somebody who can only do one type of thing.”

A very sweet comment. How Ian recognised the talent in Amanda from that one thing she said, and also cute how well Anthony knows Ian so can see exactly where he was coming from in seeing that talent in her and why she ended up at Smosh.

Shayne: “…I’m curious how you [Anthony] think things were going in the years you were gone? It’s been fun to see this arc of Ian. And being honest I’ve gotten to know Ian so well over the course of 6 years and that’s what’s so interesting about you coming back. You know Ian better than any of us-”

Anthony: “But I don’t know the Ian from the past 6 years as well as well as you guys do.”

Shayne: “…But you haven’t seen president Ian.” [talks about how when Anthony was still there both him and Ian were so busy under Defy that they weren’t around much to act as leaders]

Anthony: “Yeah, there was no leadership really coming from Ian and I, except that I think we showed excitement and passion… We showed that, and I think that’s where we kinda led, but it wasn’t really ‘we’re the leaders’ and when I left, and especially when Defy collapsed and Ian was left there making a lot of those decisions, he had to be the leader that had to lead by example and get everyone onboard with his ideas, and that was a really unique role for him because he was kinda forced into that position, and he was forced to get really good at it. And I think, over the 6 year time period that I was gone, I’ve seen him, observing from the outside, I’ve seen him get better and better at that role. Even though I know he doesn’t ‘love’ it, he’s not like ‘I can’t wait to go and be a leader when I go to work’, and he’s told me that he feels like he thrives most when we have the dynamic between us where I can pick up when he’s not really-”

“observing from the outside” 🥺 the fact he was still checking up on Ian even when they weren’t close anymore, it shows that the care was still there despite the strain on the relationship. It also reminds me of what Ian said during Anthony’s interview, that he could tell Anthony was floundering when he first left :-

Ian: “I could see very clearly what you were doing and what was going on. It was very clear that you were trying to find your individual creative voice. And with the types of videos you were putting out it felt very much like you’d throw this out and see if that would stick, you’d throw that out and see if that would stick. You’d get excited about something - I could tell there was a time when I think you were watching Nathan For You, and you were getting excited about this one kind of style.”

Anthony: “Damn, you read me like a book.”

It’s just like Shayne said - they know each other better than anyone. And that extends to even when they weren’t speaking, they still knew the other inside and out.

Amanda: “He’s glowing right now.”

Shayne: “He’s been so happy.”

Anthony: “It’s really, really cool to see because you know watching from the outside, I was able to observe his mannerisms and kind of get a general idea of where his headspace was at, but even then I wasn’t able to fully understand him because I didn’t fully understand him for so many years leading up to it, so I was just an outside observer trying to just keep tabs. But I do notice a stark difference, ever since Ian and I had that discussion, and were like ‘you know what, let’s buy Smosh and anything we can do to make that happen, let’s do it’. And after that conversation I’ve been keeping up-to-date with the content a lot more and I’ve seen Ian shine in such an interesting way, where I don’t even know if you guys felt it - like before the announcement, you felt something good was coming?”

Is everyone sufficiently in tears? Good, because me too. This isn’t even the end of this convo, I just had the pause to go over all of what was just said. Both Amanda and Shayne saying how happy Ian is now, I don’t know how Anthony didn’t cry on the spot! I did and it’s not even about me! Like hearing that, knowing it’s because of him that Ian is so happy 😭 and I think the same can be said for Anthony. They’re both so happy to have each other again ❤️

Shayne: “I did start to notice a change these past few months. I started to notice - this dude, there’s something about him, like the ‘cool’ factor started to change. He started wearing a chain! He started tucking shirts in.”

Amanda: “Oh yeah! He tucked in every shirt. He wore a chain. He was glowing. And our conversations were about life and joy and not really what he was reading on the internet.”

Shayne: “His confidence level has changed this year. When you guys announced the whole thing [buying Smosh], you walked into the building and I was like ‘Okay this makes sense!’ He’s feeling a lot more confident because things are feeling more certain and this place is going to turn into more of what he wants.”

Anthony: [agrees, and talks about how he thinks the confidence comes from a place of Ian now knowing the future of Smosh is secure under them after not knowing for a long time] “And I think for some reason, just naturally his confidence started growing as - I don’t know if this is related, but he is so good at writing and coming up with jokes, and I think for a long time he got the impression in his head that he wasn’t good at that anymore. And I think the Smosh channel moving away from written stuff, which I feel like he just really shines at - these absurd ideas, and when they come to life on screen maybe I’m able to help keep them a little bit more focused. But I really love that, cause he has so many great ideas and I started noticing just how many good ideas - he would throw out like 30 ideas and 20 of them were brilliant. But I feel like he started to gain confidence too in our writing sessions where he realised, ‘oh this isn’t a fluke, I wasn’t just funny in the past’ - I don’t know if this was the worry that was going on in his head, but it certainly was in mine. I was like, ‘was I only good at this in the past? can I be good at this now?’ and we both discovered together that what we were good at in the past, was more of a representation of our innate abilities and personality on our own but also the dynamic between us, and it seems like his confidence was growing there, and on camera when I would watch him from the outside, even hosting ‘Let’s Do This’ - when I saw him hosting these things it seemed like he was much more confident and he was able to take initiative.”

I love how much Anthony talks about how good Ian is at writing and coming up with jokes, and how much he reiterates that nowadays. I love that he recognises that talent in him and acknowledges how his own abilities complement Ian’s so well and why their dynamic is so special and works so well.

Shayne: “Ian is so much funnier than he realises. And maybe he’s realising it now-“

Anthony: “Yeah, I hope so.”

Aw Anthony 🥺 well if he doesn’t, you’re there to remind him tenfold.

Shayne: “But over these past years, I think the thing that has always frustrated me is - as you said [Anthony], he’ll throw out ideas but he’ll be like ‘oh this one’s dumb’ and I’m like ‘no that’s really funny, man’…. But whenever he goes 100% and he commits fully it’s always great.”

Anthony: “Always great.”

Shayne: “And I think he really does that in your guy’s sketches, there’s no doubt - the Ian that people know and love is that guy. And I think when he’s able to write and know what it is, he goes full force. But I will say even with the improvised stuff he held himself back - he’s so good, but he just needs to allow himself go full force.”

Anthony: “I think he would second guess.”

Shayne: “He second guesses. And I feel bad talking about him without him here, but it’s all good things. Cause reality is he’s really, really talented.”

Anthony: “The truth is he was doubting himself, but the less he’s doubting himself [he’s able to go full force].”

Shayne: [talks about how Ian has said 2019 was one of the hardest years after Defy collapsed and he had to step up as a leader and figure things out on his own] “So suddenly one day Smosh is gone and all these people are just gone, they don’t care. And I remember talking to Ian and being like “hey, so what are we gonna do?” and I remember this look of just - it’s still Ian where everything’s very casual and just kinda shrugged off almost, but I remember him just being like “We’re gonna figure it out. I’m gonna get this together”, and I was just like “That’s the most confident you’ve ever sounded about anything.”

Amanda: “It’s cause he was a single dad, he had to figure it out.”

Shayne: “But Ian’s always like ‘yeah, I dunno’ but this was the first time he was like ‘we’re gonna - I’m gonna - we’re gonna have it.’

Anthony: “And I feel like we see that [confidence] a lot more from him now.”

Shayne: “Yeah, and that was the first time that I was like ‘Dude, this Ian’s crazy. This guy’s not fucking around.’ and he had to do so much behind the scenes that I didn’t see, but he was making business deals and he was working all day, every day to get that shit together. And you know people say Rhett and Link saved Smosh, it’s like Ian saved Smosh. Rhett and Link were there to make that deal happen, but Ian was the one who put that shit together.”

Anthony: “For sure.”

Loved this from Shayne! Because it’s so true, yes R&L were there when Smosh needed a home, but Ian was the one who put in the hard work to make that happen. None of it could have happened without him. And I’m glad Anthony agrees, and as his comments at Vidcon suggest, he’s very thankful that Ian was there to save Smosh so he could come back and they could rightfully own what is their’s, doing what they love, together again.

Shayne: [talking about how Ian and Anthony going their separate ways needed to happen] “You started this thing forever ago when you were kids and it’s completely overshadowed your own lives and your friendship. To be able to take a step away and figure out who you guys are on your own and then come back - you guys at a certain point were forced to be best friends on camera and that’s tough and it becomes a product more than an actual friendship, so to be able to walk away and leave that alone and then choose to be best friends again.”

Not so much a compliment, just loved this. It’s the choice to be best friends again that gets me. Something they’re actively choosing and put above everything else, they’re never going to let anything get in the way of their friendship again and that is so special.

The famous quote comes to mind :-

“If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours.”

Shayne: “I said it to Ian when he was on the podcast - I really respect both of you for your both individual journeys in all this. Like your choice to leave the thing you made forever ago as a kid, that meant everything to you, that’s an insane choice. And you made it for your own good, and you recognised your own happiness and that was gigantic. And Ian, I think really was scared to be a leader here, he was scared to be on his own, like president, and he really did it and he’s stuck with it through crazy [times] - not only the shutdown where he stepped up, but the pandemic as well, where we were all filming stuff on our own by ourselves, and he stuck with it, man. That dude, he’s had some endurance with all of this and so to see you guys back together, I know for him there’s pressure taken off because he has you, and I can see there’s so many aspects of the job that he questions himself - I think he’s great at it, but he questions himself and I think you can fill in that part for him where he’s like ‘oh sweet, I know I can rely on you’.”

Anthony looks like he’s about ready to cry when Shayne said that and I don’t blame him because I could too.

Knowing just how important he is to Ian. That he is the only person Ian can rely on when it comes the leadership side of the business, an area where he’s been alone in for so long, doubting himself, I’m sure it makes Anthony want to hype him up and reassure him even more that he’s doing a good job.

Shayne: “And I said this to you, I think the day you first came back, but I’m like - you both together is one of the greatest YouTubers ever.”

Anthony: “I appreciate that.”

Shayne: “You individually - super successful. Like you went and you were successful on your own. Ian maintained Smosh on his own. That’s really cool to see that there was success from both of you individually, but together - I mean when we’re at Vidcon and we’re talking to other YouTubers, Smosh has, there’s something to it right? Like other YouTubers go ‘Oh! Smosh!’ that’s a big deal.”

It’s so emotional how this thing that Ian and Anthony created together as teenagers is what it is now 🥲 and it’s so true - together, they’re something special.

Anthony: [discussing how he discovered his interview format for his videos after trying lots of different kinds of content after leaving Smosh] “I thought that my lane was making sketch comedy so I was writing out some stuff. But I realised that on my own, without Ian, I am not a very strong writer. I do not have the funniest jokes.”

Again, Anthony recognising Ian’s talent when it comes to writing and the Yin and Yang of their dynamic, and how they need each other to really be at their best.

[Amanda says how Anthony seems like an extrovert in his interviews. He says it’s an illusion and that he’s really introverted - Shayne agrees that he is]

Shayne: “I mean I’m just now hanging out with you again recently, but I always got the sense, and I get the sense still, that Ian is the outgoing one.”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Shayne: “Ian’s super outgoing, and people maybe don’t clock that… At parties, Ian will walk up to any group of people and he’ll just join the conversation.”

Anthony: “For sure.”

Amanda: “You’re right, he does.”

Shayne: “It is shocking to me. And he’s so chill about it.”

I know this was mainly just Anthony agreeing, but I found it interesting and it made me wonder if that is another reason their dynamic works so well and if it’s maybe also a comfort for Anthony? As a fellow introvert, I know how much easier it makes things when you have an extroverted person with you in social situations that you feel uncomfortable with. So I wonder if it’s the same for Anthony with Ian, that he has him there to lean on, knowing he’ll take the forefront in those types of situations if he needs it.

And that was it for the podcast and for the month of July.

And so draws to a close the first instalment of this compliments series. I plan to continue this month to month, or every few depending on how much content there is - you’ll be able to find all parts in the Compliments Masterlist.

Thank you for reading and catching up with the world of the Anthony Padilla Ian Hecox Fanclub with me. Hope you enjoyed and I shall see you next time!

#this took me so long so rb are appreciated 😅#wanted to get this out end of July but didn’t finish in time #started adding august onto it forgetting you can only add 10 photos on a post 😑#but anyways! so happy to finally get this out to you guys!#smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ianthony #☀️🔍#ianthony compliments #ian and anthony #smoshian #smoshanthony #smosh ian #smosh anthony #my posts

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lowkeyrobin · 1 month

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hello! i absolutely love your writing and i was wondering if you could do something with mcyts, especially slimecicle and foolish (if you can’t think of anything for them don’t feel pressured! i don’t mind), and anyone else you want to write for x a reader that has a career in musical theatre? maybe something about them seeing shows reader is in and just overall hyping them up? feel free to ignore this, it’s just a little thought i had! have a good day 🫶

oooo yeah sure!! ; idk much ab musical theater but I tried lmao ; also added tommy bc I had leftover ideas + I was mostly only focused on charlie and foolish lol

MCYT ; musical theater

includes ; tommyinnit, slimecicle, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

"mean girls musical?? the fuck"

"my show is better, L"

he's secretly your biggest fan let's be honest

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

he'll sit off somewhere you won't see him after the first night so he can just stare at you without you noticing, since you like to tease him about it afterward

taking pictures of you then posting them during the show like hyping you up and talking about the plot

there's one of you singing and looking up toward the sky and he posted a tweet w a pic that says "me praying to god" and it dramatically left the mcyt circle 💀

he'll go and watch the source material before show dates just to see what you're performing and he'll talk about the plot with you

"why the hell are you walking down the yellow brick road?? THERES AN EVIL WIZARD, GO THE OTHER WAY???"

he shuts up immediately when you're practicing vocals at home just to listen to you

sometimes he'll buy extra tickets last minute to get you guys some more money LMAO

he definitely helped with prop making idc

at least painting the backgrounds and set things

your biggest supporter istg

always hyping you up

helps you improv act within the character to get used to the character themselves to not make them another version of you

he can sing too, so yk damn well he's helping you sing/getting into another character to help you rehearse the singing parts at home

shows up to every show to cheer you and your colleagues on

he's all smiles and like in a trance watching you on stage

like literal stars in his eyes

after every show he gives you the biggest hug and literally bombards you with compliments

he's secretly taking pictures and recording the whole way through, he doesn't care about those rules /j

attempts to try on your outfit/s at home if you get to take them with you as well

he can literally pull off anything wtf

it's like that video of mckenna grace and aryan simhadri where they're both wearing red dresses and they both killed it like?? okay, power couple who??

he's always posting shit ab you online as well, pictures videos, just talking about how cool you are etc

you two do theater karaoke every once in a while on stream and its the funniest thing

FOOLISH GAMERS

"how do you sing like that??"

"magic"

also tries on your outfits 💀

if you're in newsies... it's over

he seems like the biggest newsies fan for some reason LMAO

he's always hyping you up before rehearsals/shows and showing off his support for you ❤️

he is mesmerized by your performance, hearts and stars in his eyes the whole time

you almost went on stage w his snapback on because you were messing around with your friends backstage 💀

the second you got a part in the mean girls musical, he was jumping up and down

he'd probably never seen the musical but 100% watched the original movie 9477391 times

you show off your theater singing to him every once in a while and he's just like 🤨😨

he gives the biggest hugs after a performance

"Oh my God that was awesome!!"

if there's any merch, yk damn well he's buying it

he'll watch your performances on stream as well 😭 just to show you off

your contact name is probably "Broadway star"

you have to make Broadway Baby jokes after that (broadway baby was abby lee millers dog back in the day, only dance moms haters would get it 😔🙏)

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #mcyt x gn reader #tommyinnit x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #they/them reader #charlie slimecicle x reader #slimecicle x reader

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modelbus · 2 years

Text

Face ID

MCYT's included: (all CC!) Dream, Wilbur, Tommy, Sapnap, George, Ranboo

Having face ID in their phones

Dream

He actually suggested to you that you could be his alternate face ID, and you had thought he was joking. He wasn't.

He was really casual about it too.

You had grabbed his phone for something when he brought it up, so you did it immediately when he asked.

"If you want, you can put yourself as the alternate face ID. It'll save you time." "Are you sure?" "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

After that you definitely get asked to do stuff on his phone for him all the time. He's just a little lazy, okay?

More often than not you'd be the one replying to his messages for him, to the point where all his contacts recognized your different typing style.

Wilbur

He's just a little nervous to ask but does so anyways. When you say you'd be honored to be his alternate, he smiles so big.

"What do you think about being the alternate on my face ID? So you can unlock it?" "I'd be honored, Wil."

Unlike Dream he doesn't use you, but he's so bad at replying to messages that you do it for him (with permission).

You also fix his mess of a calendar, because come on.

His phone background was of you two always, but the photo changed, and you always loved to see the new one.

He 100% only changes it to watch your reaction though.

Tommy

You don't even know when your face was put into his phone, but you have a suspicion that he did it when you were sleeping once.

He asked you to do something on his phone for him quickly, hiding his evil grin, and waited for you to notice his home background.

"What the fuck is that?!" "That is the greatest thing ever created." "Is your background seriously sexy Shrek?!"

It turns into a game of his to have you open his phone only to reveal a new horror of a background.

Sometimes he will genuinely ask you to do something for him though, so you never quite know if he's trying to scare you or not.

As retribution you sometimes post tweets from his Twitter.

No matter how many times you remove yourself from his face ID as to end your suffering, you always end up on there again.

Sapnap

This man doesn't even give you a chance to say no. He's just instructing you to put your face in as his ID and leaving zero room for argument.

The sight you're greeted with fills you with absolute disgust though, so it quickly becomes a habit of yours to help him clean his phone.

Seriously, 23 mobile games?

"Do you even play Candy Crush?" "Candy what?" "...Right, deleting that one. What about Merge Mansion?"

He's another one you use your power to post tweets. They're mostly harmless jokes that the fanbase loves though.

Sapnap doesn't care what you do with his phone as long as you don't unpin Dream from his pinned messages. Apparently it's some sort of bromance thing.

George

Dream is the one who gives him the idea when the entire Dream Team is on a discord call. He was talking about how Sapnap is his alternate when George turns to you.

"You could be my alternate. I don't care."

It was so obvious he did care, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. In the end your face gets added.

He slowly starts asking you to do stuff for him when you're closer to his phone than he is until you're able to grab his phone and check the time without either of you batting an eye.

His phone is so sparse and neatly organized, but you kind of like it. Either way you still screenshot it and send them to yourself to post on Twitter later.

There is no touching his social medias, absolutely not. His phone is very important and private to him, so it's a big deal you have access to it in the first place.

Ranboo

War.

You both steal each other's phones and add yourselves just to have access for a social media prank war. His height definitely aids him which is very unfair.

After the war ends neither of you remove each other, so occasionally you post tweets just to watch the fandom explode, which you both find hilarious.

"Did you see what you tweeted last night?" "Did you see what you tweeted?" "...Uh oh."

Then there's the background war of which you compete to find each other the best background of each other you possibly can, which goes absolutely horribly.

If you aren't using each other's phones for war, you're really just checking the Dream SMP discord or something basic like that.

He feels too bad asking you to do stuff for him on his phone despite the fact that you assure him you don't care.

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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 1 year

Text

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐬?• 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦

SUMMARY: Jude lied to you and said he was going to stay with you instead of transferring. You felt betrayed

First half is written by @iicldkwhatimdoingheretbh Credit to them for the idea

“babeee, you will not believe what I saw in the grocery shop”

I couldn’t do it. I could not look him in the face. Not after what he did.

Whenever jude and I were to talk about his transfers we would just say that there’s time so we don’t have to rush. Yesterday’s conversation was the closest thing to a finalized decision stating that he would rather stay in dortmund than transfer this season.

“plus, it would be selfish for me to leave you and bmo , no?” he added before taking a midday nap with him occasionally leaving lazy kisses and us staring at each other in awe.

Waking up to my phone buzzing with several messages from all sorts of social media, I was crushed.

At first I couldn’t believe it, it’s social media after all but the tweet from fabrizio rom and the several edited pictures of him in the oh so familiar white jersey stated otherwise.

“babe? Where are you?”

My back was turned to him as he was approaching the kitchen.

“mmh, I missed yo-“ the second he hugged my waist from behind and put his head in the crook of my neck I pushed him away.

“what?”

I turned to look at him. My cheeks stained with tears and eyes heavy.

“look love I-“

“you could’ve just told me you know. Instead of lying.”

“babe I know but-“

“no seriously I don’t want to hear it right now”

I walked away from Jude. The frown on my face didn’t fully show how pissed off i were at him.

I knew this was silly of me to be mad about, but I really felt betrayed by those rumors of him going to real Madrid.

“baby please let me explain.” Jude sat next to me, reaching out to take my hand in his, but before he could get comfortable, I pulled away.

That hurt Jude.

“what is there to explain?” I asked. “You lied to me and said you were going to stay at Dortmund. You were going play for another season until I finished college before you picked another team. You said we were going to stick together.”

Tears began to form in my eyes. I didn’t want to look at Jude I knew if I did I would end up crying.

“why’d you lie Jude?”

I got up, not feeling comfortable around him. The room felt like it was getting hotter as the seconds passed.

Jude and I have been together for three years. From the day we met we have been together, stuck like glue to one another.

I couldn’t imagine being in two different countries. him playing and training in Spain while I’m doing uni in Germany. I was afraid it would ruin our relationship.

I walked to the right off the sitting room and shut the door. I stared at myself in the mirror, wiping a few tears that had escaped from my eyes.

After a couple of minutes of mentally talking to myself, I opened the door. Jude stood on the other side. He was waiting for me.

“Bab-“

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore Jude. I can’t control your decision. It’s your life. I’ll be fine here, By myself”

I brushed passed Jude to go to the bedroom

Jude followed me. He watched as I pulled out my suitcase and began stuffing clothes into it.

“baby, what are you doing? Stop!”

Jude tried to shut my suitcase, but I pushed him away.

“Jude stop. I’m leaving. I need to learn how to be on my own without you since you’re going to Madrid.”

“y/n you’re being selfish.”

“Yeah of course I’m being selfish. It’s not like I promised someone I was going to stay with them even though that was a lie.”

I zipped my suitcase up and walked out of the room. Jude wasn’t far behind.

“Baby please don’t leave me!” Jude walked in front of you. He got on his knees looking up at me.

“Please, I won’t go! Just don’t leave me please.” jude looked up at me, pleading eyes. He needed me to stay.

I shook my head. “jude, I can’t. You made your decision. I have to go ok?”

I pulled away from him and walked around. I knew if I stayed a second more Jude would be right back on his knees in front of me, begging for me to stay.

I heard Jude calling out my name but I choose to ignore him. I walked outside to my car. I placed my suitcase in my trunk before climbing into the drivers seat.

Before I could pull away, Jude came over to the driver's side. "What about us? You're just going to throw it away because I'm transferring?"

I sighed. "Yes. If you can't be truthful and honest with me then there's no reason for us to be together." I exhaled holding back tears. "I hope you're happy with your decision Jude."

I shut the door, starting the car. Maybe I was being dramatic by leaving because Jude was transferring, but it was what was best for me. I have to put myself first.

----

This is so dramatic. I'm obsessed. Maybe there will be a part two but honestly it depends on Jude's decision 😭

#jude bellingham x reader #Jude Bellingham #jude bellingham angst #Jude Bellingham fanfiction

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mamapyjama · 3 months

Text

Thought I ought to bring this over here for the Tumblr crew since it’s making a little buzz in the other place and I want to gather all my thoughts in one place.

So, back in 2022 I was in my feelings about Izuku (when am I not?) and wrote the following little sad headcanon on twt:

Made myself sad thinking about how the original Japanese word for Quirk is ‘kosei’, which means ‘individuality’ or the unique part of a personality. It’s no wonder Deku thought he was plain and useless. Everyone has literally been telling him since he was 4. 😓 Like, there’s no way at that age he could separate people talking about his lack of meta-ability from his own unique value as a person when they’re using the same damn word. That’s the kind of stuff that’s going to stick with you. 🥺

Sad to imagine, eh?

Fast forward to 2024 and chapter 412, and as always, I was browsing the jp fandom tweets for reactions after the official release. They often pick up on things we miss like Katsuki’s childlike language, the NTR implications of the kudoichi plot etc.

As I scrolled, I realised there was a HUGE disconnect between what we in “The West” were experiencing (mostly rage at yet another translation ‘choice’) and the existential questioning that was occurring among Japanese readers.

This is just a tiny glimpse, but you should know that every single one I saw was doing the tweet equivalent of staring into the middle distance with a haunted look.

It’s all about the panel below, which was mentioned by the incomparable Pikahlua, as it is unusual in writing ‘mukosei’ without the speechmarks that signify ‘quirkless’ (to use the English term) rather than ‘lacking individuality’.

Horikoshi always uses speechmarks around “Kosei” when talking about quirks, so the implication here is that Izuku never believed he had actual individuality/personality.

Using this interpretation, Kudou observed that Izuku held the hope that even people who were detestable (Katsuki) and those who had no individuality (Izuku) still had human hearts.

Read that again. Izuku hoped that both he and Kacchan, despite their shortcomings, had human hearts. He thinks his only worth is as a vessel, a holder of OFA, and without that he’s barely human.

Ever noticed how some parts of the fandom complain that Deku is a boring MC, that he’s just ‘nice’, and we never get his opinions on things? Yeah.

Remember how hard he cried when All Might said he could be a hero? That was the first time in his life that someone acknowledged him as someone with potential, with worth. (In ch2 he also says “I have no reason to refuse!!” when offered OFA, which always struck me as slightly anticlimactic but makes way more sense now).

And remember how he cried in a similar way when Ochako told the world that he wasn’t special but that he had a special power? She couldn’t have known she was reinforcing his deepest held insecurity, and for a moment his mask slipped. Or maybe he was touched by her assertion that he was just a ‘regular high school kid’? We don’t know, but it’s worth taking a look at these moments in this new light.

You staring into the middle distance with a haunted look too yet? I know I am.

If you’re interested in the bright side (I needed this, I hope it helps):

Narratively speaking, this is the angst section that will lead to Midoriya Izuku: Rising and the happy ending they all deserve.

And the person most likely to disavow him of this sense of inherent worthlessness is the one person who added to it the most in their childhoods.

✨KACCHAN!!✨

No one else can reassure Izuku that he is special, that he’s worthwhile and—crucially—that he always has been, because he’s the only one who knew that all along.

If you need more reassurance, remember that their Origin and Rising chapters so far have all involved each other and have mirrored the emotional journey they’re both on.

Bakugou Katsuki: Origin: Katsuki struggles to accept Izuku and work as a team to battle All Might. Eventually does the bare minimum to cooperate by lending him his gauntlet.

Bakugou Katsuki: Rising: Katsuki coordinates the pro heroes and sacrifices himself to save Izuku. His body ‘moved on its own.’

Midoriya Izuku: Origin: Izuku is bullied by Katsuki, tries to save Katsuki from a villain—his body ‘moved on its own’, and is consequently told he can be a hero by All Might.

It isn’t a reach at all to pretty safely assume that Izuku’s Rising chapter will also be intrinsically linked to Katsuki, and it is his cooperation, faith and love (however you interpret it) that will finally save Izuku from his own sense of worthlessness. Closing the circle.

So yeah, this bit could be rough for the next few chapters, but I have faith that Horikoshi will wrap it up in a way that will be so rewarding and satisfying.

I’m gonna stop now because I’m ill and I need to rest my head, thanks for reading! 😮‍💨

#mha 412 #deku #please someone hug this boy asap #midoriya izuku #bakugou #mha #bnha #bkdk #bakudeku #bkdk canon #Pyj obsesses #my head hurts

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archivalofsins · 2 months

Note

hey, do you remember if mikoto/john ever made any comment about the viewer's opinions? fuuta outright tells the voices to shut up, amane acknowledges them when fuuta asks her about it, and mahiru mostly just feels like her thoughts and love are being rejected. i dont think mikoto/john ever even acknowledge the viewers thoughts about their situation outside the double mv and vd, and even then that could be about what es thinks about them and not the omniscient viewers.

They do!

It's one of the things specifically highlighted by Milgram and Yamanaka within his tweet about Mikoto's voice drama. Through the fact that they recognize and view what Es has deduced through Milgram as valid.

To keep it short. Mikoto references the audience opinions in these instances.

This has been editted to get rid of spellings errors and add more context. Editted on 02/28/24. (There were so many spelling errors to correct don't know if I got them all. I added so much more quotes from the timeline and interrogations and tried to adjust for tone.)

"Eheheh... But...it's not coming to an end. All of this. With things I've never even heard before, the whole ti- The whole time... Haah... I have to see through all of these irritating experiences...!" (Doesn't directly reference Es just that things now feel like they never end. Along with things he's never even heard before.)

"As for alters... Why do you think they're born?" (Specifically asking Es how they think this works instead of divulging any information he's heard from the audience that would in fact be beneficial to Es who after being asked immediately shows they don't know a damn thing about it. Staying consistent with what happened in Amane's voice drama prior.)

"Right. You're decision to not forgive me is especially stress inducing." (Recognition of the punishment attached to the guilty verdict working properly for Mikoto and that's adding to his stress. So, yeah he's hearing the voices.)

"You know that because of Milgram! I don't care about the law, I want to know what you think!"

His birthday interaction from last year. (Him asking if there's really another him implies, he has heard the audience bring it up.)

His birthday interaction with Futa after his verdict.

21/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday) Mikoto: ……ah, Futa? What’s up? Did you come to celebrate my birthday? Futa: Hah!? Like I care about your birthday. ……what’s up with you, though, you’re usually a lot more excited. I thought you were the sort of idiot who’d make a big deal over your birthday. Mikoto: Yeah, usually that’d be the case. ……I think I must be getting tired. It’s like I’m anxious over something but I can’t really explain what it is…… Like, the feeling that I’ve been totally wrong about something. Haha, but it’s not like talking to you about it is gonna do anything. Futa: Yeah, yeah, just like you say. Talking to me about it isn’t gonna help. ……but, it’s not like I don’t get what you’re saying. Or rather, I understand exactly what you mean. And if it’s the same thing as I’ve been feeling, then it will just get stronger as time goes on…… probably. But anyway, rather than talking to someone like me you should go and bother the others. Go and get showered with their stupid birthday wishes.

Also, the fact that Mikoto's entire defense for his actions pivoted from I don't remember, and Milgram probably got the wrong guy by mistake to the other one did it. Which not much different from the excuse he gave before but was an excuse widely jumped on and presented by the audience after he was called out for faking for a good period of time and being bad rep. Well, to say the least- It puts a different meaning behind this line,

"“He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"

Since it encapsulates what his first trial was like in a nutshell. Where people either called him out for faking/lying or blamed the alter for all the violent acts making him out to be the scoundrel. People even posited that what we see in MeMe is fake because it's far more graphic than the others and cuts and that this could be due to him having DID and lookie here.

In fact Mikoto's mental footage was so violent... "It's unforgivable." That was my judgment. "That too could be just a fake or attributed to multiple personalities, right?!"

Overall Mikoto, like many of the prisoners, does not state what the audience has told him. However, he heavily implies through his actions he's been told something. What that something is we don't know and given his first verdict percentage he would not be as inclined to tell us as the others would. Hell, even then a lot of others don't tell is. We were never shown what innocent does to a person outside of this from Mu.

21/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday) Mu: Yuno. Don’t you have something to say to me? Yuno: Huh? To you? Me? ……ahh, uh? Your birthday, right? Happy birthday~ Mu: How mean…Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself. Yuno: Right, right, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in future~ Later! Haha… things have become even more of a bother… ……so was that Mu-chan’s real personality, then? It’s probably because the guard did something, right?

But yeah, since you were just asking if he referenced the audience outside of his voice drama and music video there's no need to read the rest here. What comes after this basically goes over how I tend to tell when the prisoners are subtly referring to the audience and other things but it's very long.

Now onto the interesting stuff. Because I wrote this before rereading the question and seeing you were asking about things outside of the voice drama and song. So, I'm leaving it.

Mikoto discusses the audience in the way similar to how Mahiru does. Never referring to the audience or the voices as an individual entity or directly instead either referring to that as Milgram collectively or referring to it as an extension of Es' actions and decisions.

Even in Double and I Love You neither of them refer to a big group of people but go "You".

"What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."/ "“He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"

Unlike the rest of the prisoners who refer to multiple parties, Mikoto and Mahiru couldn't give a damn less about who is causing them problems and considers the audience, Es, and Milgram all the same entity. Never really separating the three. Because they don't care to.

Other prisoners that do this are Haruka, Shidou, and Kotoko if I'm remembering correctly.

"I will definitely make you love me again."-"Hug me again as you once did."

"You don’t even know yet, and yet."- "What do you mean INNOCENT, if this is my punishment... Now I see, this world is cruel and merciless. The vote that negates the option of death, the love that won’t perish."- "No thank you, it’s none of your concern."- "Shall I fulfill your request and elect to live."

"That's why I became your fangs."- "Tell me why you tell me, “Stop'. Don’t you dare stop now."

Kotoko and Shidou do something interesting in their second trial songs having parts where they both directly refer to Es and the audience separately within their songs. Referring to Es at the beginning and then the audience in the second half.

"I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live. So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me? That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable. The correct answer, I don’t yet know, but there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."

Shidou Trial 2 Voice Drama

"But... as long as Milgram continues in this direction. We won't be able to save those who get injured if I'm not forgiven." ...! "Even now, Shiina-kun is in a condition where any digression could be fatal. She can't live without my treatment. If I'm not forgiven she will end up dying."

Just want to highlight how Shidou uses the same tactic as Mu but somehow what he does ends up succeeding and what she did doesn't. A lot of people may think that's because none of them asked to be put in that situation and Kotoko was the one who attacked. Yet, my honest response to that would be what the fuck is actually stopping Shidou from helping if he was guilty?

Like prisoners who were Guilty once can still move around and interact with others and the things around them. Unless one is assuming that the punishment for being guilty trial two is worse than one. Something I don't believe would make sense and would not be fair considering this would just simply for many of the prisoners be their first time being guilty. Although, this is Milgram so maybe who knows.

Even in a situation where the trial two punishment for being guilty is harsher than trial ones; what the fuck is stopping him from teaching or instructing someone else within the prison on how to help if he were restrained? He even said Amane could be assisting him and Yuno has been. He's very replaceable, actually. So, it's wild this worked.

As we will get into it is wild any of them are getting away with what they are.

He also doesn't say this as if it will change later. Instead he literally states that Mahiru now just can't live without his help which given injuries should not be true. Yet considering that she hasn't been getting better over the course of trial two honestly yeah, I guess he's right.

That's... true I suppose. "From now on conflict between the prisoners will probably become more frequent."

Dude why the fuck does he say this??? Like no I'm being serious why does he fucking say this? Especially considering last we heard from Haruka in his second trial voice drama Shidou and Kazui were meant to have been negotiating a ceasefire? This sounds like something an individual about to start a conflict would say. A person about to throw down if you will.

Like what the fuck does he know in regards to this? The most good faith interpretation is the ceasefire negotiations have failed. Yet, it's still a weird thing to just add. Especially since he says conflicts between the prisoners. Implying that people other than Kotoko may end up instigating fights.

Even though most of the other prisoners are simply attempting to mind their business and he's the only one who directly states hostility towards Kotoko in various ways.

Others that state having animosity towards someone are

Yuno,

Q.11 Which of the other prisoners do you get along with least? Yuno: I wonder. The ones that are painful just to watch are Haruka and Mu-chan.

Futa,

Q.12 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with? Futa: Can you not tell by looking at my face? Obviously Kotoko.

Mu,

Q.12 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with? Mu: Yuno has been really cold lately so maybe her a bit.

Shidou,

Q.06 Do you forgive Kotoko? Shidou: No. I can’t forgive someone for trying to achieve thing with violence.

"To extract that fang, now."/“That’s why I became your fangs.”

Oh, and he has some feelings on Mikoto as well.

Q.07 Are there any prisoners you get along with? Shidou: Kayano-kun has become like that, and I can’t spend my time smoking at the moment, so the smoking trio has disbanded, which is a bit lonely.

What those feelings are beyond me. However, he speaks of his current disposition as though it's a problem. So, I'm putting it.

Kazui,

Q.06 Are there any prisoners you don’t get along with? Kazui: To be honest, probably also Kashiki-chan. It feels like she sees through all the things I don’t want anyone to notice.

Amane,

Q.06 Are there any prisoners you don’t get along with? Amane: Kirisaki Shidou.

and Mikoto,

Q.12 What do you think about Kotoko? Mikoto: I don't like her.

It makes sense that we the audience would know whom everyone is hostile towards. Especially since we just blatantly asked in some written interrogations. However, it's not as though many of them have been presenting their hostility towards each other openly.

Outside of Amane and Kotoko everyone else attempts to be cordial with each other or just outright avoid people they dislike. So, it's still weird he would know this unless he's really good at reading the mood and paying attention to others.

Something he has not shown himself to be. Though, maybe he really is. Still considering he has two individuals he'd could possibly have an issues with this really sounds like some shit somebody who wants start trouble says.

"If I'm not there... They will be in even more danger!"

Bitch you will be there- Guilty or not. You're not getting out of this panopticon any earlier unless you see yourself out buddy. Where do you think you go if you're guilty? The sunken place? You gonna mentally tap out because of the guilt and constant bombardment of being told you're wrong by the audience?

Other people who have been Guilty before you with no warning of what that mental or evironmentally entailed were still able to help and speak to others while suffering under the affects of said verdict. The child did it grow a backbone man! You're an adult and apparently you hold a lot of stake in the fact that you are... So, at least make it make sense why you do with your actions.

In case Shidou has forgotten we have a third trial. So, he's just being a fucking manchild here. Does he think we're gonna kill him immediately after he's voted guilty in this second trial out of three? Does he think as soon as the guilty verdict hits Kotoko is going to attack him? That's the most reasonable and good faith interpretation of this statement.

Like she did attack guilty people that's a fair concern to have. Yet, he's currenty being guarded. Because now that an attack has happened once the others are more on guard.

As Yuno implied would be the case,

Q.09 What do you think about Kotoko’s attacks? Yuno: Is she an idiot? Nothing’s going to change in the world if you just act out violently where everyone can see.

If a person just acts out violently where everyone can see most people will reasonnable recognize that person is apart of the problem too. They won't usually assume they're the solution to anything. Plus again the fact that other people were guilty before him and he knows what that could reasonably entail he should be preparing for that possibility. It's clear that he wants to avoid it by any means and is doing his best to do that.

Which I can't fault the man for that's only natural. But-The fuck is Shidou's second voice drama fearmongering 101?! Why the fuck is he acting like this towards the end?

I bet you're thinking Gunsli is this your first time listening to Shidou's voice drama and honestly yeah it is.

This man is in here like what will they do without me. Despite the fact that a majority of viewers have pretty much agreed the child can take him out/is a serious threat to his safety. At the point the previous statement is widely considered a genuine concern true if anyone wants him dead outside of himself in this facility he is going to die. Because we know that from the beginning Shidou has wanted this all to end and to get the death penalty.

That he's been smoking to be unhealthy,

20/08/04 Mikoto: By the way, why did you two start smoking? For me it was just a means for communication with people at work. Kazui: Hm? I don’t really remember……It’s maybe changed nowadays, but in the past it was just natural for everyone to smoke. What about you, Shidou-kun? Do you remember? Shidou: ……I wonder. I suppose…… I just wanted to do something that was bad for me. Mikoto: Ahh, I kinda get that. It’s like eating instant ramen in the middle of the night.

So, he came into Milgram already trying to get out of life in general. So, he can't threaten himself like Haruka can. He's still gunning for that death sentence even now.

"The scale tilts to and fro, I yearn to be found “GUILTY”."

The only thing he can do is what he's always done used the lives of those around him to excuse his actions and validate his own existence.

"But it tilts towards, find me “INNOCENT”. If the voices crying out in pain, can be saved by me- Allow it to be my charge and mission."

Like I don't know why he came in here acting like this verdict gonna make him someone he ain't and never was. Like man you couldn't even take care of your own- You want us to leave you in charge and responsible of even more people. People who have no reason to have to listen to or take him seriously. People who don't even like him.

Meanwhile Shidou's kids in Triage out here looking like they need Yusuke Urameshi not Shidou Kirisaki. What will they do without me? Man I don't know probably have a better grasp of road safety. You know just spitballing some guesses here.

He came in here really pretending to be the guy and for who? Himself because he's fucking weak and emotinally immature. He can't handle the mental stress of a guilty verdict, he couldn't even handle his own social relationships when his wife was alive,

Q.19 What was your partner like? Shidou: A strong person. I tend to be a bit careless in my personal life, so I was always relying on her.

or taking care their kids after she either died or got ill.

Like listening to the end of his second trial interrogation is legit hearing him hype up his own importance. As though he's going to be a meidcal doctor on the frontlines of a war and voting him guilty is equivalent to immediately killing him in front of a bunch of injured civilians. Halting people from getting aid. When that's not what's occuring here at all!

He's still going to be in Milgram and he will still have another trial. Like maybe he thinks that's what's occuring because of Kotoko but that's even weirder. Because there are more people against Kotoko's actions in the prison than for them.

One of which is fucking Kazui who is already guarding him.

Shidou... "I need to be punished... But I also need to stay alive or young lives will be lost."

Oh, Shidou you're such a martyr.... Pushing to the side your selfish desire to die because you're sick of living with yourself, your own failures, and the fact that the things you worked towards weren't the benefit you thought they would be and instead a massive failure-

Q.15 Do you think you’ve made a contribution to society? Shidou: I used to think my work was a contribution to society.

All because you've found something that validates your existence again. Something that,

"Tells me, the reason it’s ok to be here."

Again I need to highlight we're not fucking killing him with this verdict. Telling someone what they did was wrong is nowhere close to comparable to murder. Also, Kotoko can attack prisoners whether they're innocent or not. Jackalope's brought up that the prisoners are allowed to attack each other during the intermission all of them regardless of verdict.

Unless they're physically restrained and thuse made unable to they can still do it. Plus some of them are shown in full restraints within Undercover still ready to attack somebody if needed. It's not like she is completely bound to acting in accordance with Milgram's rules as has been highlighted before.

22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday) Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time. Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you. Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets. Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly……

Yet, throughout his second trial voice drama he keeps subtly pushing this idea that not only will Mahiru die if we vote him guilty but he will too. That not even really touching on the fact the one to bring up a death sentence or execution as a result of the trials to begin with was Shidou.

He brought it to this point and is now lamenting about it being there like oh what should I do.

"I... I don't know what to wish for anymore. I'm starting to think that I want to live. That I want to be forgiven... Despite being so riddled with sins...! ..." Shidou... Do you remember what i told you? "..." Back when you were still fine with dying at any moment, I told you to deperately want to live. "Punishments for sins exist in the first place because we have an attachment to life. your existence in itself is a sacriliege to Milgram and myself", I said. "Yes... I remember." And now, finally, you've gotten attached to life and finally become a real prisoners of Milgram. That's what I believe. You wanting to be forgiven and your wish... Those are the steps that now represent you. "...That won't do... I musn't be forgiven. Otherwise... the countless lives I've taken will never be paid back." Heh. If you're really trying to give up your life as compensation for the people you've killed, then there's no reason to stay alive that will hold up anyway. "..." Don't face them with a life that you're so willing to throw away.

Es greatly sums up the main issue with Shidou's logic.

He is ready and willing to die.

Yet, all the people he killed weren't. Usually people seek medical attention for help, because they want to live. Because they're in pain and they don't want it to get worse. Thesse are people who are trying to survive and seeking out what they believe is the most appropriate help for either themselves, a family member, hell even a stranger on the street if someone calls an ambulance.

It's incredibly tragic when help doesn't get there soon enough but it's down right dispicable when the help is there and decides no you'll die today because I feel like it. You understand what it's like to have to take in order to give and I need to take from you to give something to myself. We're all suffering and you know some people like myself deserve to suffer less than others so this is just how it has to be.

Since that's the case-

"You're in my way...hurry up and die."

I see no difference between this and this.

"Please, go ahead and die already."

Excpet one of the people making this sort of statement puts a lot of stock in being a mature adult and never acting childishly. While the other is at least emotionally honest about their mistakes.

Why did I bring all of this up? To highlight a key difference between Shidou's voice drama and his song. Es never rebuts Shidou for saying he's the only one that can help or calls what he's doing a hostage game.

Making it more than likely Shidou is referring to the audience and the voices he heard discussing his case or something from his real life given the quotes around the phrase. This is more than likely something Shidou has said in reality or had said to him. I lean more towards the first interpretation when it comes to viewing these put in quotations lyrics as direct snippets of quotes from statements the prisoners have said but I'm not that committed either way.

The point is it highlights that he's not just referring to Es here,

He's instead speaking past Es and directly pleading to the audience or voters.

Which is the same thing Kotoko does here-

"So, make yourselves my reason. Just choose the only choice, GUILTY. Say that sympathy is useless. Hate evil as the evil that it is. Don’t you dare stop now. I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it. Give me the next target “UNDER”."

Notably not stating that she became our fang before that but leading into that again. These lyrics (along with the prisoner 011 line in Kotoko's case) recontextualizes the entire song as a direct plea to the audience with allusions of concern towards Es. Mostly merging the two and going if you're on good terms with me I'll be on good terms with all you and your proxy if not things could get messy.

This showcases that they all see no difference between the audience, Es, and Milgram like stated before.

The ones who are more direct while referring to the audience are Yuno, Futa, Mu, Kazui, and Amane. Instead referring to multiple parties through their songs or one.

"I’m the one who chose, let you and you and you all in."

Yuno mentions two others before stating she let "you all" referring to the audience in.

"Don’t get cocky, you in that cypher."- "Tolerate, impress those spectators."- "This prison hosts ears and lethal eyes, I’m sick of it. You and you, throwing around rules for fun, hoisting up morality and feeling good. Should I succumb, make your wish come true? Full of yourselves, are you?"

Futa seperates the prison host from the audience the spectators. In a way showing off that he views Es as an entity hosting an event and the ones spectating as the actual entity he needs to impress or sway to his side. He's basically going if the audience likes me I'll be fine.

"So, it’s wrong? Oh shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right?"

It's a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is. "It's personal?" Yeah. That's right. "That's strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a warden you did have some things you dislike, but..." ... "Isn't it unusual to openly reavel a personal dislike as a personal dislike?" You're splitting hairs. "Seems like you really disliked my crime... I get it! Maybe it's because you're so young... Which is to say... ..." Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It's disgusting. "..." ... [Es punches him]

Honestly warranted he is making fun of Es for the same reasons Jackalope did in Es' voice drama. Being a bit green behind the ears. Which is never fun. So, of course after that the first thing Es does is do the same thing to Amane in her interrogation after this.

... Now I feel better. "-Ow! What are you doing all of a sudden..?!" It was an instinctive reaction. Don't take it personally. "Would you stop just punching me in the face without any hesitation? ...huh Anyways... That's how it is, huh? That's how it is...?"

Kazui stating "That's how it is..." highlights that he does take note of Es' personal feelings. He not only does that but seems to take a moment to mentally compare them to what he's been hearing from the voices over the course trial one. Really honing in on the fact that Es says them disliking Kazui's crime is a personal thing.

Meaning that Kazui knows full and well that Es' personal opinion does not matter when it comes to the verdict and may have concluded as such. Something made even more clear by his second trial song opening with him telling Es to just go shove it. Fuck off get that nonsense out of here.

Kazui literally forgoes Es' statements on his actions from his second voice drama at the jump of cat like oh well the guard said it was wrong but fuck that- Innocent is the right answer. It's the conclusion you all came to the first time so.

Double down. Hence the-

"Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade. Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade."

The only allusion to Es in Cat is,

"So it’s wrong? Oh shove that!"

This is because Es has already said they personally dislike Kazui's crime or people who act based on their sexual desires. Meaning if Kazui's crime is that of a sexual nature trying to sway Es on seeing it any other way is pointless. So, he no longer has an interest in convincing Es his behavior was okay. Plus he's not even really concerned by what the audience themselves have assumed or figured out. Something alluded to through how comfortable he in while singing Cat in comparison to Half.

Amane's is rather straight forward as well. Considering her song starts with direct recognition of the audience/spectators going-

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! It’s the beginning of a most wonderful day! However, there are blasphemers and silent by-standers, who would have it otherwise. We must not give into them, they are the ones that should be judged." - "I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed."

These are the only references Amane makes to the audience and Milgram. Literally going those who agree with me you know what to do. Those who don't well we can't give into those people now can we!

Then there's Mu,

"I am innocent as everybody desires."- "We are just the same. Don’t you think it’s wonderful to control them with my gentle sting?"

Mu compares how what the audience is doing is no different from what she has done. So of course it only makes sense she'd be Innocent. Then specifically speaks of Es after. The one who is also controlling people with their gentle sting. (This statment does apply to the audience as well. Since we're impacting the prisoners through the press of a button a gentle sting/poke. )

The lines calls attention to the emotional and psychological abuse Kotoko points out as being just as bad as what she's doing in her voice drama. Something Es also brings up as a factor in Mu's case during you guessed it her second voice drama.

When Mu says she never really hit anyone herself and Es goes yeah you just had other people do it for you.

"I haven't bullied anyone! I'd never do such a mean thing!" ... "I've never once hit anyone or poured water over anyone's head. I wouldn't do something like that!" ... "I'm not lying. I'm not being dishonest! I really haven't done anything!" I see. I'll take note of that.

Just like Kotoko did with Es. Saying just because you never hit anyone doesn't mean you haven't caused harm or incited it to occur. As Es attempts to highlight they never really used excessive physical violence/took it as far as Kotoko did with the prisoners. Despite the fact that they have hit them and impacted some of them just as negatively as Kotoko has.

Even more so from the admission of Mahiru in her second voice drama.

"I mean it. It doesn't hurt. Compared to the way I felt when you chose not to forgive me... Not at all." ...! "Not at all... Nothing. None of it hurts. It's not...as big of a deal. Ever since, I've constantly been hearing...voices saying I couldn't be forgiven. Yours? Whose? I don't know... I don't know, but... I've heard them this whole time." Mahiru, calm down... "Was what I did such a bad thing? I just... had a normal relationship like everyone else...! That's all I did! Why can that not be forgiven? Hey, why? Why? Why?"

Kotoko's second trial voice drama does well to follow up on those similarities It's Not My Fault, Bring It On, and Backdraft highlighted between the prisoners and those who watch Milgram. The same mentality to jump into something that is quite frankly no one other than the parties involved business just to turn around and blame others when things get bad.

Later

"Ah- But if you don't forgive me, then Haruka-kun will die. So, I think it'd be best not to do that." ...! So, you've heard about that nonsense, too? "Mhm! Haruka-kun told me. So, I could rest easy according to him. That made me happy... It made me really feel our friendship!" You know about it and you're not trying to stop him? Haruka, that is? "Why would I? Haruka-kun says that's what he wants. So, there's nothing I can do, right?" But you're calling him your friend? "Isn't it exactly because he's, my friend? Isn't friendship about letting your friends do the stuff they want?" ... "Are you planning to tell me, "That's not what friendship is."? Then, what is it? It's about sticking together because it's beneficial for everyone involved, isn't it?" I don't think Haruka is benefitting from that at all. "No way... It's not like you'd know what's good for him." ... You sure are tough to beat. "I really don't get what it is you're trying to say, Warden-san. Haruka-kun is free to decide what he wants, and I'm not doing anything wrong. It's not like I asked him to do that!" I see. So, that's how it is, huh. You don't say anything; just because you're present, the wishes of those around you evolve to benefit you- Oh, so that's it. Like, a born queen. No, it's as if you're influencing your surroundings not with words but with pheromones... Just like a queen bee. "Pheromones...? I'm not sure what you're going on about but I'm not a fan of that lewd-sounding stuff." That's not the nuance i was talking about. "Either way there are prisoners much more deserving of not being forgiven than me. So, I think you should focus your energy on those guys instead. Like, Kotoko-san has been up to no good, for example. Ah, but what she did was approved by you, wasn't it?" ...You're making my blood boil. "Anyway... I think you would do good to forgive me. Then Haruka-kun will be safe, too. Ah, actually- Couldn't you just forgive everyone? Then Kotoko-san won't run amok, and you won't have to think about all the difficult stuff." ...That is...a very enticing proposal. "Right? Hah, hehehe." Abandoning all thinking... How nice it would be if I could just do that. "...If you ask me, I don't really get why you don't do it..." Because this is the role I'm playing! "But this role was giving to you, wasn't it?" ...! "You didn't end up doing this because you wanted to, right? It's not a dream you've had for a long time or anything, Warden-san? So, there's no need to let it tie you down. Couldn't you just quit?" What are you... "Warden-san- We call you warden, because that's what you are, right? And I wa sassigned the role of prisoner, but that doesn't mean I'm now nothing but a prisoner at heart, too. After all, I'm still me." ...! "Are you okay warden? Are you feelings sick again?" Haah...haeuahh... "That's because you keep thinking too much about difficult things." ...Gyh!... Haah... "Just stop. Being the warden, that is."

Es brings up that Mu is emotionally manipulative. That she hones onto any weakness to exploit in those she dislikes and makes herself look small so those around will feel more inclined to help her. Through her voice drama, like many of the other prisoners, Mu uses the same tactics that got her into Milgram to begin with.

From her first voice drama Mu is well aware that Es has issues when it comes to thinking about themselves outside of their job as prison guard. She recognizes it as a trigger which she willfully exploits in an attempt to get her point across better.

Then despite saying what Kotoko did is no concern of hers and since it was approved by the warder it'd be wrong of her to disagree with it earlier in the same voice drama her tone changes a lot near the end.

"Huh? But that has nothing to do with me." What? "The ones who are suffering are the ones who have done bad things right? You know, like, what goes around comes around?" ... "Besides Kotoko-san hurt and was mean to the people who you chose not to forgive, right?" ...Yeah. "Wouldn't it be weird for me to have any thoughts on that, then? After all, I didn't do anything wrong. You forgave me!"

Yet, suddenly when the idea that she might be viewed as in the wrong later comes up Kotoko is running amok and is a prisoner more deserving of not being forgiven than her. Because Mu as she has always done puts targets on other people to avoid being singled out herself. Then to add insult to injury she directly contradicts what she says about friendship and it being letting the people around you do what they want.

By continuing to badger Es into quiting being a guard and stop taking the role so seriously. Because Es taking their job seriously does not benefit Mu. It puts her at risk of being singled out and votes guilty later down the line. So, it's better if they just drop it.

If they don't/can't she has no issues, or qualms making the situation more difficult for them by poking at weak spots until Es-

If you want to betray from jealousy I’ve told you what’s gonna happen.

What's the point of highlighting all of this? Why include all the others when this is just meant to be about if Mikoto references the audience over the course of trial two.

Well, to be completely honest this isn't about them.

Even though at times this seems to be about the others. They're only being used as examples of how I analyzed the information provided and discerned through my own perspective when the audience was being referred to, how it was being referred to and why.

It is just easiest to explain that method over the course of all the prisoners and build up to Mikoto.

It just so happens that this may stand out more overtly with Mu than any of the other prisoners. Because of how consistent a character she is. Like she states in her voice drama no matter what labels external forces put on her, inside, in her heart she will always be Mu. She, like all the other prisoners, isn't changing and has no desire to change.

Their only desire is to escape punishment and gain social power and influence by any means necessary at times.

This is important with how they refer to the audience and the entities they choose to suck up to. Many of the prisoners have recognized being nice to Es just does not matter long term because they are just a proxy. They don't have much power or influence over how the prisoners are viewed.

Sure, it's good to get along with them for images sake during the interrogation but ultimately how well off they are with the guard doesn't heavily impact their verdict.

Yet, as long as they aren't outwardly and overtly malicious, they can get away with harassing Es if they want to. Mu's whole thing is making it appear as though she had no malicious intent or at least if she did it was a warranted response to the circumstances. She's just a victim, an underdog biting back. It's not her fault people were mean to her, but she doesn't just have to take it on the chin and wear it.

She has a right to protect herself after all she was-

"Having such a hard time." and "Trying so hard."

She was at a point where she couldn't take it anymore. Her heart was all dried up and her sorry spells weren't working.

Mikoto is the same way throughout his voice drama.

A mix of Mu and Mahiru's behavior. Basically, they're all passive aggressive about it. Dancing around the point instead of tackling it head on.

Not really elaborating on what they've heard but more so implying it through their emotional states and responses.

"If you just laugh and pretend, usually things will work out in the end right?"

"I'm pretty good at that! Making things work out to the best of my abilities." Is that so... "Eheheh... But...it's not coming to an end. All of this. With things I've never even heard before, the whole ti- The whole time... Haah... I have to see through all of these irritating experiences...!" You emerged, huh. "Hey. Looks like you haven't received a beating yet, Warden brat." ...! ... "Hah? What, are you scared?" Like you didn't get beaten by Kotoko...! "Heheh... That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep and it's not like i lost there."

Mikoto in his second voice drama similarly to Mahiru and Kazui does not willfully give Es or the audience information. Instead questioning Es on what they believe and what they saw.

"As for alters... Why do you think they're born?" In precise terms it's called, Dissociative Identity Disorder. Generally speaking it refers to when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created in order to isolate the original personality from the resulting trauma. "Yeah. I... probably come out to ease the stress I experience."

It's important to note that Mikoto (John) is not speaking in past tense here but present tense. So, he's not stating I emerged in the past in response to the stress Mikoto was experiencing. He's literally saying I'm coming out now to ease the stress he's currently experiencing.

Subtly calling to attention that Milgram, the verdict and the audience voices are causing Mikoto stress and he was brought out to handle and relieve Mikoto from that.

Even elaborating after that-

"The fact that I come out for longer just means that I'm constantly under extreme stress."

Again highlighting the negative impact Milgram has had on Mikoto's mental health and wellbeing. Yet also calling to attention that Mikoto (John) doesn't have a clue about what the source of the stress is. Just that Mikoto must be stressed for him to be here. Saying that just means and going off the fact that he's here at all to discern that.

Them asking this at least confirms again that they both recognize the audience as well as Es at least know Mikoto has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Something Mikoto states he's heard from the voices on his birthday as well.

The fact that he's questioning if there's really another "me" on his birthday means he more than likely heard that from the audience. He doesn't really get the chance to broach it in his voice drama or doesn't broach the topic.

Yet it is made abundantly clear before that occurs that Mikoto is aware due to the voices he's heard from the audience. So there's that as well.

All this makes the moment after this particularly interesting.

Stress... Namely, the environment of Milgram, right? "Right. You're decision to not forgive me is especially stress inducing. That's why I'm entrusting me with my heart." I see. "Not like I can blame myself. From my point of view, I'm being blamed for a crime I can't even remember." If that's the truth, then... You're the one who committed the murder? "Yeah, it was me. I killed them off." ... "So, I, Mikoto really didn't do it." Can i ask... Why you killed them? "They annoyed me." Who did you kill? "Just whoever was walking around nearby." ... How many did you kill? "Can't remember I was just born back then, you know. It's kind of fuzzy."

Just whoever was walking around-

In this empty ass back alley looking underpass in the dead of fucking night. Okay, Lil' Slugger. I believe you.

I too walk around in the dark of night to secluded spaces with no public foot traffic and a loud passing train that would mask not only my screams but those of anyone else around this is true and reasonable. It's something we all have to do we can't control where our homes are located or find other safer alternative night routes at times. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and people like Mikoto are there.

Sometimes you have to walk up to or past a suspicious ominously posted up stranger that definitely doesn't look in any way to be waiting to initiate a hit. That's not something any person would want to avoid in the middle of the night on their walk by all means. I would have seen you like this and went whelp fuck my house is that way... Aw, damn he's either gonna kill me or I'm gonna get home but I gotta walk that way. Better start praying and speed walking.

I ain't even a religious person but I need something to have me right now.

We already made eye contact. I saw him see me. That was my first mistake. Can't get out of it now. Whelp, I have the perfect song for this. I'm such a fucking disappointment. Oh, this route will be shorter there's not many people on it! We'll get home faster. Now I'm about to die.

I would be so pissed to die because this guy was just what fucking waiting to hurt somebody. What the fuck man pick up a contact sport and put the bat down!

Think I was fucking around when I said okay I belive you well ha ha; no. I wasn't. I don't believe this is the truth in this instance. However, I one hundred percent believe this is some city shit. The fucked up thing is what he just said isn't unreasonable like that shit happens there's senseless violence all the time. That doesn't make it better he really went on the mic and said,

"I killed someone because it really was just one of those days, I'm quirky like that. I didn't even know them. Didn't even know their name. They were just annoying had those hit me with a bat vibes you know."

Like dude fuck you that's not better. That's substantially worse actually. I'm sorry this has nothing to do with the question. It's just... Rewatching Mikoto's second voice drama is a trip. One second it's like if you did do that for the reason you stated then you're kind of just objectively the worst person here and continuing to vote you guilty would be better.

He just admitted he just does this shit to relieve his own stress and it doesn't matter who he hits. It's not personal in any way. Does having a hard time and demanding job excuse that? I don't think it does. These were all people to his own quick and flimsy admission had no connection to him. Never wronged him, hell they're strangers whose only crime was walking near him.

Yet the child who killed their abuser is barely treading water while he's here coasting-

That's fucked up! The fanbase did Amane Momose dirty and it really just seems like it's because she's a child. Because these fucking adults be acting hell of childish and they are not getting as much heat as this twelve year old has. Be better. The fuck type of defense is this. He really came in here and said,

"I felt like it so I did. What's the problem?"

Then a majority of people went alright go off he's such a victim- Of what nepotism, marginally good looking priviliege?! Being shippable and okay to sexualize leading to people liking and projecting on him more than a twelve-year-old?! Because all of those things are actually helping him a lot if you take a step back to think about. Like if you take in the image in full he's doing quite well now in comparison to the shit start he had.

He literally said I killed just because they annoyed me. I didn't even know them and people went I do not dee the problem with that. Go off king people do be annoying. If you don't want to die don't be annoying in public. Being annoying death penalty actively abusining your child for years and killing a cat come on Amane jumping to murder due to that was a bit of leap wasn't it. Like even if your religion said so sweety killing is bad.

Because the truth is if he was Amane's age and gave the excuse that was given here it wouldn't be working. It would be giving repeat offender energy he would need to learn a lesson. He would be hiding behind his disorder.

Even though Mikoto (John) may only be admiting to committing the murders to cover for Mikoto which I'll go into again later... I'm mostly highlighting this to go this should not have made him be more favorably viewed. Like people really just ignored he said that shit.

Yet, then other times in the voice drama it really sounds like listening to your friend lie about the disorder they have blatantly and without restraint to get out of something they simply did not want to do to begin with. To an individual that is woefully underinformed about how the disorder works. Which is me saying it's fucking hilarious. It is absolutely amazing. He should keep doing that actually.

It's not Mikoto or Mikoto (John's) fault that people are ignorant when it comes to dissociative identity disorder and stereotype people that have it. He should take advantage of what aids him. If that's the ignorance of others in this age it takes ten seconds to start researching. No one has to teach anybody in the real wold except teachers and they ain't paid well for it.

We gotta figure it out on our own. He is in jail he doesn't owe society or anyone in that jail shit especially the truth and he isn't giving it.

Mikoto (John) goes me fronting longer has allowed me to stabilize which probably isn't good and means Mikoto the prisoner is disappearing. That is not typically not how Dissociative Identity Disorder works. I don't know why anyone would want to present it as though it does work the way Mikoto (John) is purporting. He's basically saying that alters are born at random and are immediately violent.

This is a a very weird and stereotypical way of discussing and presenting people with DID. That has led to the demonization and stigmatizing of the disorder. It's not like it can't happen people can have violent alters but usually they're responding to a trigger not just being violent towards uninvolved parties or just lashing out at anyone while outside of stressful situations.

Plus, alters can go dormant but that doesn't just happen due to someone else fronting. They can also be integrated. Everyone is different though. So, maybe that's just how this works for Mikoto. Though, alters do disappear for a bit that happens as well. So, why is Mikoto (John) acting like Mikoto's gonna die?

It's difficult for me not to question how this was phrased, especially given what others have pulled over the course of trial two. A good deal of trial two has been prisoners going well if you vote me Guilty someone else will disappear/die- So, you should just like find me innocent. It's that easy find me innocent and everything will be fine.

Like these assholes have genuinely forgotten they are in here because someone has already died. They really be out here like I will certainly take a life but it won't be mine. Do as I say not as I do. Violence is bad and we wouldn't want to hurt anyone let's all just get along.

Where was this Barney ass logic when you were giving people head-on collisions with bats, knives to people's chest, committing malpractice. Like none of these people have said there's no reason to take a life because they've all fucking done it. Just that there's no reason to take away their lives. At least with the people who have brought that sort of thing up.

Isn't that sort of fucked up? That all of trial two a good deal of prisoners threatened the audience with the idea of someone dying as a result of the audiences' actions. Completely ignoring, downplaying, or evading the fact that someone has already died because of their actions.

Instead, it's about reducing harm in the present suddenly. Yet they weren't thinking about reducing harm when they did what they did. Maybe reducing harm to themselves. Then when their victims come up they get real quiet suddenly. Unless it's Shidou or Mahiru who immediately turn it around and make it about how the victims deaths are impacting them.

How it's making them feel bad.

Even ignoring all of the emotionally questionable things presented here and over the course of trial two. Pushing that to the side and just taking the voice drama by itself.

It's riddled with contradictions. For example, this statement

"Evidently, the time I've been fronting has been getting longer. So, this "me" has been able to stabilize. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly?"

Let's again ignore the fact that you were working and taking the fucking train before Milgram. Something that is not only expressly shown in your music video but corroborated by Mikoto's own testimony that directly conflicts with seeing you on a fucking train,

Q.12 How do you travel to work? Mikoto: Road cycling. It’s one of my hobbies, and it’s good exercise too. The fact I don’t have to worry about making the last train can be both a blessing and a curse.

Meanwhile in clown town where the alibis are shit and keeping a story straight is dead.

Q.17 Do you smoke? Mikoto: Only electric. I used to smoke real cigarettes in the past, but since I started my job I’ve stopped.

Like they even change the tote bags they carry so one has the color we fucking have had associated with Mikoto (John) and the other doesn't so the person taking the fucking train is more than like Mikoto (John).

Not even adding to the fact Mikoto confirms that he's the one who works at night in his fucking first written interrogation through this answer-

Q.06 What do you hate? Mikoto: working overnight / reptiles / violence

All things that appear or are alluded to in MeMe. Either from the tarot cards or expressly shown like with the images of him returning home.

Ah, man it'd be a fucking shame if on top of all that there was canonical merch that showed Mikoto vaping after the murder or holding an e-cigarette.

Certainly no one has that and the staff wouldn't provide us with something so damning because they like to keep things up to interpretation and it's not meant to be solvable. It's about how we all view it, view it in our hearts through our feelings.

Meanwhile the third anniversary art coming in with a steel chair.

(Something I brought up way before, along with the idea that the art from the third anniversary is in fact the prisoners after their crimes. Even getting this merch to check more closely. )

Oh, Holmes I'm absolutely stumped at what this could mean. Surely this is still just Mikoto (John) too. It could be no one else. Mikoto is an honest innocent man who couldn't hurt a fly.

All he did was dream. Except when that witty bastard plum forgot he still smoked cigarettes occasionally just a few times. Quitting is difficult, yes, even when moving over to the same thing in a different form. It doesn't mean he's a liar.

For another example, here

This is not Mikoto (John) in MeMe smoking in the tub but still Mikoto. He's an honest but confused man. Who wouldn't know or rightfully remember no longer smoking cigarettes.

Okay time to stop joking around-

It is more reasonable to recognize that they both appear throughout MeMe and Double and this is subtly displayed through their stated habits, clothing, and facial expressions. Then just ignoring the pile of evidence that shows Mikoto (John) clearly had a life outside of here too.

Along with that again to Mikoto's own admission trial one he was the one more active at night until recently. Stating with extraordinarily little prompting-

Q.20 Are you more of a morning person or a night person? Mikoto: I used to be basically nocturnal. Recently though I’ve been falling asleep pretty early.

Ignoring all of that again he's still just fucking lying.

Just because alters don't front doesn't mean they don't have a stable internal existence. What the fuck are you on about right now? Like at most I can generously say he meant it was becoming easier for him to front but this was bullshit.

This was not a good way of phrasing that. Again alters that don't front have personalities and could even have rich lives internally. So, Mikoto (John) is on some nonsense. Like he's just testing what he can fucking get away with because he knows Es is stupid and ill informed.

Every day I question how he is getting away with it when the honest answer is,

People frankly don't care to see it and that's fine.

There's even the fucking fact that Mikoto (John) directly fucking contradicts himself right after stating this.

"Evidently, the time I've been fronting has been getting longer. So, this "me" has been able to stabilize. Isn't that the reason we can talk properly?" ... "If I had stayed a monster maybe that would've been better. ...What?" You've turned out to be much more rational than I expected... I'm surprised. "I'm a university graduate after all."

Alright, Mikoto (John) which the fuck is it?

Have you only recently been fronting enough to stabilize leading to you being able to communicate properly or did you front for all of fucking college?

You were at least aware enough of it to consider yourself a college graduate. So, what's the truth? Huh which fucking is it?

"Can't remember I was just born back then, you know. It's kind of fuzzy."

I am once again asking how you fucking remember college Mikoto (John)?! Yet, were just born back then?

Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room-

The threekoto or trikoto theory.

Because some people may want to say if you take into consideration the existence of a third unknown alter than all these inconsistencies can be explained, Gunsli. This is what all those inconsistencies are hinting towards, it's the perfect explanation you're just choosing not to see it.

Yes, I am choosing not to see it that way.

Yet that's not only because it doesn't bring me any narrative joy and subtracts from it. It's also because I view that concept as a cheap fix-it solution where a new factor has been shoved into the narrative in order to account for things within it that could be logistically explained by other means. There's also no actual evidence to this being the case.

One could rightfully say what about the inconsistencies you just pointed out though.

Those could simply be explained by a fact that Milgram has brought up since the beginning of the series-

The prisoners can lie.

If the prisoners who are under more restrictions than Mikoto (John) still have the freedom to lie why are people assuming Mikoto (John) isn't lying as well? Especially when being faced with an unknown, dangerous situation, in which he's been threatened with the death sentence? Like wouldn't the reasonable response to such an odd situation be to keep your information yours alone. Not willfully give it to an entity exerting power over you?

So, the inconsistencies found here very well could be there to hint at what exactly happened once all the information is examined together.

Though, let's be serious for a bit.

Let me walk down that bridge with anyone who wants to go there? What's the actual probability that all the information that they gave us-

Including naming the songs,

MeMe and Double.

Along with willfully adding this fucking very overt line,

"Doesn’t matter if you didn’t wish for it, can’t get rid of me now. Just the two of us, relieved, aren’t you? I’ll protect you (us)."

Are all actually statements meant to mislead the audience and both Mikoto and Mikoto (John) are being honest about not remembering the murder and this third more recently born alter is the actual murderer. Because given that statement on the crimes and Mikoto (John)'s admission that yes, he is a college graduate, the lyrics in Double pointing out we made him out to be a scoundrel-

In my opinion that would be the most reasonable conclusion to draw if I were to believe this is true with the information we've been given so far.

Even if that were the case and all of these other things were red herrings.

These would all be objectively the worst red herrings in existence. Because that isn't a red herring it's a fucking school of them. Grab a fishing rod and get to it. This is past the point of being considered a red herring and instead would be more aptly described as a series of overt lies.

You know a good red herring is when people can actually figure out it is that and there's evidence in canon alluding to that being the case and what is commonly accepted as truth being disingenuous. I'm not the biggest Steven Universe fan nor do I hate it passionately. I'm more neutral to it.

So, let's use it as an example.

-Spoilers for Steven Universe-

In Steven Universe it turns out Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz are the same fucking person. There is art that alludes to this before this reveal. There were speculations and theories of this being the case. What Steven Universe did not do repeatedly at any point was go she's not a diamond we swear this is a normal Rose Quartz.

They didn't draw attention to the elephant in the room over and over. Most of the characters in the series believed fully that she was a quartz and had been lied to for years. It's never called attention to because it is a wildly accepted truth. So, nobody questioned it.

Yet, there were still hints this was the case enough for people to speculate such far before it was revealed to be the case. My point is red herrings are seen not heard, not repeated over and over. A red herring by definition is one misleading clue or accepted truth meant to trick the viewer into believing something that is untrue or move them away from the truth.

It's not a consistent pattern.

-End Spoilers for Steven Universe-

Then to add more insult to fucking injury why the fuck would Deco*27 say this-

This isn't a red herring this isn't even within the canon.

This is a statement he made independent of the canon. Outside of that he didn't even have to give a specific number but did anyway. He could have just said what will happen to the Mikoto's now. If they wanted this shit to remain ambiguous. Yet, he still used two unless this translation from the Milgram app is simply wrong and it added that.

It'd be weird but machine translations have been weirder.

Yet, considering everything I've seen it truly makes more sense for me to believe Mikoto and Mikoto (John) are both being dishonest for self-preservation reasons than to believe that the entire series has been lying from jump.

I just find it more likely that these two who found themselves in such a strange situation, who are vehemently trying to convince the audience and the other prisoners around them that they are honest trustworthy men are just fucking lying about a lot of provably false shit. Then as it tends to happen when someone is telling lies off the seat of their fucking pants there are many easily spotted contradictions and direct confirmation of actual truths.

Because the truth tends to be consistent lies aren't unless a person is very skilled at it. (Glances at Kazui.) Throwing all that to the side.

If the idea of there being three alters brings someone joy, then that's all well and good. I'm not trying to stomp that out or rain on anyways parade. I just don't personally want the information I discuss to be associated with that or have any interest in discussing that interpretation.

There are a lot of people who'd have a great time doing that. I am not one of them.

Because I feel using that idea to excuse the fact that the alibi, excuses, other statements Mikoto has given, and the reality of the situation through the songs extracted directly contradict each other in a way that highlights he may not be being honest is not only incredibly convenient for him but somewhat disingenuous.

This includes his voice dramas and the birthday interaction before Double premiered. Unsurprisingly.

I'm not looking for an easy fix for those inconsistencies that keep Mikoto looking infallible and like he couldn't hurt a fly. I'm not looking for something that frames Mikoto as being in the right, a good person, and a victim of circumstance while highlighting an alter as being completely bad and in the wrong always. Because that sort of story is lacking in nuances in my opinion and wouldn't be fun to me.

If that were the case it would make it feel as though the story itself was highlighting Mikoto's character having dissociative identity disorder as the reason for him being a murderer or the only thing that led to these issues occurring. Something that just doesn't feel right to me personally.

It's never like what has Mikoto done/chosen to do or how could he have responded differently or managed stress better. Nope it's always an alters fault, it's always the disorders' fault. There's no respect for Mikoto's own agency because he's a guy with a disorder, he didn't mean it, he couldn't help it, that's just how it is.

The impressive thing is how often Milgram as a series pushes back against this interpretation and simplification of dissociative disorders in general.

Then the fandom pretty much plays into this trying to tell others there's a definitive way to know if someone has it, how many alters they have, and at what time an alter is out just by vibes and speaking patterns alone.

As if dissociative identity disorder doesn't involve a shit ton of masking and trying to appear fine to avoid being singled out by others.

Milgram highlights this issue with the perception of dissociative disorder through Amane's voice drama.

Where Es literally implies that since Amane's case doesn't present the same exact way as Mikoto's and she cannot do the same things as him that solidifies to them that Amane herself cannot have a dissociative disorder. So, in Es' eyes what Amane is doing is just playing pretend by referring to herself as we and god. So, really all she is or appears to be to Es at the end of the day is a kid throwing a tanturm and playing make believe.

Well... It's in vain. So, you might as well listen to me while we're here. "I won't forgive you. I won't forgive you." Prisoners can't attack the warden. This is one of Milgram's core rules, although a certain guy with multiple personalities managed to slip past it. "I won't forgive you... I won't forgive you..." Which means Milgram doesn't dictate who the prisoners are by their body but by their mind. If the mind isn't accounted for then the rule doesn't apply. It bothers me that there's a loophole, but... "I'll kill you...! I'll kill you!" Thanks to this defective rule we can confirm this; The 'you' holding the scissors right now isn't a god or a concept. It's Amane Momose herself. "...I'll..." So, what you're doing right now really is just a game of pretending. This is stupid.

Then Amane later in her voice drama calls out Es for referring to themselves as we. Saying that Es must just be playing pretend to avoid taking accountability for their actions as well.

Es makes the very severe and common mistake of assuming all dissociative disorders present the same way and immediately has their own logic used again them. Leading them to have another crisis of identity. They're shown to have a serious lack of understanding of themselves and their opinion.

Something that from the beginning of Milgram has been shown to cause them discomfort in multiple voice dramas. Mu's first and second one, Kotoko's first and second one, and Amane's second one. This same logic could very well lead to the audience making a lot of the same mistakes as Es is presented making.

Well, that was longer than I anticipated. But, there's a lot of things about Mikoto that imply he not only heard the audience voices but took the reaction he received into account when deciding on how he proceeded.

Other than that, I've got a birthday to have. Sorry for the long answer and going much more in depth than I needed to. I also hope none of this was rude.

Though i can't really control how I'm interpreted.

#gunsli rambles #milgram #mikoto kayano

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lonesome-witching · 10 months

Text

You Rule

Thank you for the prompt from @1-800-eat-shit and the tweet it was based off. I had some struggles writing this one but one of my friends said it was good so blame her if you hate it.

You can send prompts or read the previous ones I wrote.

“And another one bites the dust.” Robin pulled up her whiteboard and added another tally under the words ‘you suck’ that she had written with care.

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest. “Easy for you to laugh about it. You don’t know the struggles of picking up girls.”

Robin raised her eyebrows with a smile on her face. “Did your fragile male ego get bruised by the fact you suck?”

“That’s it! If you know so much about flirting why don’t you do it? Next customer is all yours.” Steve grabbed his hat and threw it on the floor.

“Maybe I don’t want to flirt with anybody.”

“Okay, if you get the next customer’s phone number, I’ll close up for a week.”

“Deal.”

“But if you don’t, you get rid of that stupid whiteboard and you stop making fun of me for the rest of the summer.” Steve retrieved his hat from the floor and held it to his chest with a smirk on his face.

“Fine.” Robin sighed as she switched places with her coworker.

She tapped her fingers on the counter staring at the people that passed the ice cream parlor. Most of the teens were rushing to catch the matinee showing of whatever movie was playing and the few that didn’t simply didn’t pay Scoops Ahoy any attention.

An old man shuffled toward the entrance and Robin worried he’d come up to her and ask for a waffle cone with one scoop of mint chocolate chip. Was the bet still on if it was a retired man that couldn’t walk properly anymore? What if it was Erica and her goons? They came over nearly every day and today she hadn’t seen them yet.

The old man turned left right in front of the entrance and Robin exhaled in pure relief. Relief that was short lived when, from somewhere behind him, Nancy Wheeler walked into Scoops Ahoy with big steps. Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Fuck!

She might be a total priss but she was also one of the prettiest girls in all of Hawkins. Scratch that, THE prettiest girl in all of Hawkins. And she was about to flirt with her.

“Hi, can I get a waffle cone with a scoop of strawberry ice cream, please?” Nancy’s eyes were focused on the display of tastes, her finger pointing towards the bright pink ice cream.

In a normal world Robin would simply nod and comply. She’d hand over the cone and wish for their fingertips to brush against each other as Nancy grabbed the treat. But this wasn’t a normal situation. She knew Steve was standing somewhere near the partition that separated him from this trainwreck and he must be snickering.

“Of course, gorgeous. Anything else? Sprinkles, maybe?” Robin tried not to look at Nancy as she spoke, instead opting to focus on her ice cream scooper and the waffle cones that stood on the counter.

“Oh uhm, no.” Nancy stammered out. When Robin looked up she saw a soft shade of pink covering her cheeks. Shit, was she making her uncomfortable. “No, I’m good.” Nancy added with a soft frown on her face.

“Are you sure?” Robin asked, she was bent halfway into the display, her scoop in hand.

“Huh?” Nancy replied.

“You know what, I’m gonna give you some free sprinkles. How about that?”

“Sure.”

Robin poured a generous amount of rainbow sprinkles on the ice cream. “There you go.” This time she purposefully touched Nancy’s hand as she handed over the ice cream and her heart nearly beat out of her chest. “That’ll be 1.25. And perhaps your number… You know, for the sprinkles.”

She must be as red as a tomato at this point. There was no way that prissy, perfect Nancy Wheeler would give her number. No way in hell.

“How about I pay for the sprinkles and don’t give you my number?” Nancy searched through her purse, one hand gripped the cone.

That sounded about right. “Oh, you are breaking my heart here, Nance.” Robin tried to play it off. She tried to not let the comment affect her as much as it did. She tapped the changes into the register, regretted it and tried to erase them. The register refused to do what she asked and she started hitting the side of it.

“Fuck!” She shouted, startling Nancy. “No, sorry. The register just won’t… 1.25, please.”

“And the sprinkles?” Nancy asked.

“Those are on me, as promised.” Robin bit her bottom lip. “And I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything. That wasn’t my intention.”

“You didn’t.” Nancy shook her head with a tightlipped smile.

“Good.”

“Great.” Nancy replied before closing her eyes. She slid the money over the counter, her fingers pressing it as if she was afraid it would be blown away by her own breathing.

Robin tried to pry the money from under Nancy’s hand but ended up simply brushing her fingers against Nancy’s. “Excuse me.” She nearly whispered, causing Nancy to pull her hand back as if it was on fire.

“Sorry.”

“No problem. Would you like a receipt?”

“Yes, that sounds lovely.”

“Lovely?” Robin asked with a smile, trying to get the damned machine to print the receipt. Was it out of paper again?

“What did I say?” Nancy asked, almost sounding panicked. The ice cream in her hand was starting to melt and a bright pink drop fell onto her skin.

“You said that it sounds lovely.” Robin’s eyes followed the drop of melted ice cream as it descended even further and collided with the counter.

“Oh, yes. It does. It’s just that… I have a boyfriend.”

“I don’t know what that has to do with this.”

“Of course it has something to do with this. Because you are asking me these questions and I want to say yes but I have a boyfriend.”

“I only asked if you wanted your receipt.” As if the machine had been waiting for its cue, it finally started printing with a buzzing noise.

“Oh.” Nancy’s own attention drawn to register, her cheeks bright red.

“Is there something else you want to say yes to, Miss Wheeler?” Robin leaned halfway over the counter, as close to Nancy as she could get.

“No, of course not. You’ve just been… You called me gorgeous and you asked for my number and you are…” She looked around, making sure there was no one who could hear them before whispering: “You’re flirting with me.”

“Am I now?” Robin placed her hand in the melted ice cream and scrunched up her face at the feeling.

“Aren’t you?” Nancy pulled back slightly. Maybe she was about to run away? Fuck, Robin couldn’t have that.

“No, I am! Definitely am. I was flirting for sure. I don’t just call anybody gorgeous and I definitely don’t give them free sprinkles. And… and your ice cream is melting.”

“Oh.” Nancy looked at the half melted scoop of frozen strawberry delight, which was the official name of the flavor, and quickly licked at it. Her tongue coming out bright pink.

“Fuck.” Robin sighed as she couldn’t help but look.

Nancy’s lips turned into a smirk when she heard the word being uttered. “Is there something else you want to ask me, Miss Buckley?”

“I would try for your number again but you have a boyfriend.”

Nancy frowned. “Actually I don’t. I don’t know why I said that.”

“So, can I perhaps, just maybe, have your phone number?” Robin asked, her eyes not meeting Nancy’s, her voice wavering with insecurity.

“Hold this.” Nancy pushed the cone back in Robin’s hands and grabbed a pen out of her bag. She scribbled a set of numbers on the back of her receipt. “I might end up breaking your heart, Robin.”

“I highly doubt that.”

#prompts #ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #my work #stranger things #fanfic #robin x nancy #nancy x robin #ronance fic #ficlet

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btsxmalereaders · 1 year

Text

break my heart myself

♡ pairing — lee minho x male reader

> genre — fluff | angst

> word count — 4,02k

> summary — despite being integrated into stray kids a little late, minho and you quickly clicked and started a great relationship. unfortunately, some fans can't still see it.

> tags — 9th!member, idol!au, jealousy, happy ending.

> a/n — hihi! i hope you enjoy this, and i'm sorry i'm a bit late posting your request u.u happy belated birthday, lovely anon!

You were certainly not having the best time now. Starting off by these couple of days have been really tough since your group is having a comeback soon; so you had to deal with rehearsals that didn’t seem to have an ending soon, a lot of photograph sessions with tons of makeup and dress changes, and endless nights locked up in the studio to write and record songs.

You tried to tell yourself it’s easy. Reminding yourself and repeating comforting words like it’ll all be over soon, and you’d be able to enjoy performing and connect with fans once the promotions started, but you were getting tired.

“Hey, are you ready for today’s recording? Everyone but us and Minho are already at the studio.” Changbin pats your shoulder and brings you back down to earth, to later nod get up from the couch. You were still sleepy and wanted to take a quick nap in the living room while everyone was getting ready, but you got too deep in your thoughts and you couldn’t get the chance to do it.

Minho exits your shared bedroom and sweetly smiles at you, approaching quickly and opening his arms to embrace you right after.

“Are you okay, sleepyhead?” He softly murmurs, making you chuckle.

“Yeah, just a bit tired. I’ll be better once we get to the studio, though.” You tell him not to worry him too much; Minho already had enough on his plate.

“Alright, the minivan is outside now, let’s go quickly before everyone starts complaining.” Changbin says.

It’s a quiet ride. Changbin decided to put on his headphones and listen to, you suppose, things he composed late night hours the past few weeks, meanwhile your head is resting on Minho’s shoulder as he scrolls down tiktok and laughs with you, liking cute kitty videos and some other random stuff about Stray Kids and another accounts he follows, obviously on a secret account.

Suddenly, an edit from a fan pops up. Short clips and photos of your boyfriend and Han at the rhythm of a love song. You don't say a thing, not even flinch, and Minho just keeps scrolling as if nothing happened.

Certainly, you have noticed all those fan edits, tweets and messages on vlive about the friendship between Minho and Jisung. It started even before you joined the group, so you understood where they were coming from, it still didn't make you feel comfortable about it. Because, even though you respected and loved their friendship, you didn't like the fact that your boyfriend was being shipped with another person by lots of people, while the attention of your dynamics, despite it being a little bit more subtle for obvious reasons, was being underestimated.

Nothing much was said in the way, Minho locked his phone a few minutes right before arriving and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. You walk separately, just in case, but as soon as you're on the 5th floor of the building, he takes your hand and smoothly squeezes.

"Oh god, you're finally here. What took you so long?" Hyunjin groans and stands up from his chair as soon as you enter Chan's studio.

"Sorry, I actually took my time to have breakfast, not like you who ate under 5 minutes and ran away."

Changbin tries to defend himself and leaves his belongings on the desk.

"It's not our fault you eat so slowly." Hyunjin continues to joke, so Bin furrows.

"Okay, okay, enough. We have a lot of work to do today." Chan steps up with a smile and starts giving updates for you guys and general directions.

So you all do as told, spending a good time deep in the lyrics of a new song and getting familiarized with it, owning it and adding everyone's details, singing with your hearts and praising each other. It's a song Jisung wrote and you all couldn’t help but be amazed by how great it was.

After a few hours of singing and arranging, you all decided it was time to take a break and get something to have for lunch. The maknae line offered to go to the cafeteria and get you all food, meanwhile Chan, Minho, Changbin and you waited and threw some ideas to continue with the recording; well, it was mainly Changbin and Chan arranging some stuff, too deep in their world meanwhile you two were snuggled on the couch.

His fingers on your hair, touching softly, a humming which you could say resembled the singing of an angel, and his other hand with a tight holding of your back. Yet so careful and subtle. You loved the way Minho made you feel; like home, safe and sound. Loved, above all.

You were so grateful to get the chance to be part of the group, since you joined a little later, but it still impressed you the easiness of how they welcomed you and how the fans were happy about it. After all, it was meant to be. You 'd like to think that, at least.

In between the calmness that just set, you look up to find Minho with his eyes closed, so you admire him closely; every mole, his bright and soft skin, his calm breath, his humming alongside the rhythm of his heartbeat making you feel at ease. A feeling you wouldn't trade for anything.

A few minutes later, everyone gets back in the studio with bags in their hands, the smell of food makes you realize you're hungry, so you stand up and kiss the tip of Minho's nose and smile before helping the guys with the bags.

Everyone takes a seat and begins to unpack the food, rushing to eat something to put you all in a better mood for the next few hours of work ahead of you. Occasionally you discuss what you have done so far, but you try to make the rest of the break pleasant and distracting so that everyone feels a little less tense.

"Oh, guys," Felix speaks up as you're about to finish. "Why don't we pair up and upload some tiktoks of what we're doing? It could be like a little spoiler for stays."

"Yeah, it'd be cool, but couldn't we get in trouble for this?" Jeongin asks, concerned.

Chan simply shrugs, "No, we won't. And if we do, I don't care. It's gonna be fun."

Everyone laughs and decides to go for it, so now Chan makes you all decide whether you should pick your partner or shall he assign them, so you all choose the last option. He knows you well and how you work together, and that ends up with you paired with Hyunjin, Chan is with Seungmin and Felix, Jeongin and Changbin are together and last but not least, Han and Minho.

Now, you didn't wanna seem upset about it, but a bad feeling just settles in you. You would probably not read the comments under their video, though. The tiny hope you'd get to do this with Minho vanished away, and you were not mad about it, just a little bit disappointed.

"Alright, let's just record a few seconds of the song, meanwhile just do a lip sync and do something nice at the ending, I guess? Like we usually do." Chan indicates briefly as he takes his phone and opens the camera, and so the first ones are Changbin and Jeongin. They end up making finger hearts with a lovely expression on their faces that makes you all chuckle.

Felix, Chan and Seungmin are up next, and they send kisses to the camera, making you cringe a little, and consequently they laugh about it too, but thinking it's funny. Then, Hyunjin and you make a small and improvised choreography as well, and end up with a cool model pose, with your arm laying on his shoulder and looking empowered.

And finally, Han and Minho simply make a heart with their arms and shortly wave goodbye before the video ends. Chan posts them right after and hopes it all goes well afterwards.

The rest of the recording goes smooth and quick. You're too deep in your thoughts about this situation, that is clearly out of your control, but you guess that was what bothered you more. The fact that you couldn't stand up and for once and for all put an end to all those rumors and theories just makes you feel even more mad and helpless.

"Okay, that's it for today, let's go home, alright? I'll prepare dinner for you guys." Minho says, causing everyone to cheer up after the tiring day you all just had. He places a kiss on your forehead and picks up your belongings as you head to the back of the building, where the minivan waits for you.

Of course Minho notices you're suddenly quiet rather than being clingy, but he assumes you're tired and lets you sleep a bit on your way back to the apartment.

As soon as everyone arrives home, Minho gets ready to start preparing dinner while the others take turns taking a shower, watching TV and others on their cell phones.

"Is there anything I can help you with, sweetheart?" you ask sweetly as you approach from behind his back, placing your hands on his waist. Minho lets out a nervous little laugh and looks you in the eye.

"Don't worry, prince. Let your boyfriend take care of preparing something delicious for you. You just sit back and wait looking pretty as always."

"I heard that!" Seungmin passes laughing and unnoticed through the kitchen, making Minho blush. While everyone is aware of how mellow you guys can be, it was still something they were amused by.

“Okay, let me know if there’s anything I can do.’’ You simply state and go to the living room, taking a seat and opening tiktok. And you promised yourself you wouldn’t read the comments, but you couldn’t help it. You oftenly chuckled at all the things stay came up with, and liked some of them, as you were using your private account. Then, when Han and Minho’s clip popped up you hesitated a bit, but did it anyway. Honestly, you didn’t know what you were expecting, to everyone comment chill and light-hearted things and not focused on their ship? Of course that wouldn’t happen.

All those “They’re definitely dating’’, and “Minsung is real’’ type of comments were getting on your nerves lately, digging deep into the uncomfortableness and bother you’ve been bottling up the past few years. You just reached the point where you can’t hide your disappointment and jealousy anymore.

After you take a shower and try to relax, you gather with your friends and boyfriend in the kitchen to have dinner. It’s the opposite of being quiet, of course. Everyone is laughing and joking around, as always. But you, on the other hand, are more serene; despite being the other way on the inside. Minho notices it and tries to understand why, but nothing comes to mind. He softly squeezes your knee under the table but you only look at him and give him a fake smile as you finish eating.

You are the first one to finish, so you stand up and wash your plate and utensils quickly, saying nothing more than a goodnight to everyone and go straight to your room, washing your teeth in a heartbeat and deciding to get in bed and sleep before Minho could enter and start asking questions regarding in your behavior tonight. But of course, as soon as you clean your face, Minho's steps in the room and sighs, heading to the bathroom.

"Hey," He says, taking his toothbrush and standing next to you. "Is everything alright? You were very quiet, is anything I c-"

"Don't worry," You interrupt him before he can say more. "I guess I'm too tired. I just want to sleep."

"Are you sure?" He insists.

"Yes," A kiss is placed on his cheek, making Minho blush. "Let's go get some rest, okay? I'll wait for you."

Still, Minho isn't at all convinced, but lets it slide for now.

The night is spent with you both intertwined, your face hidden on the crook of his neck, his heartbeat lullabies you into a heavy sleep and the comfortableness of his arms around you. Tomorrow will be a better day, you say to yourself before falling completely asleep.

Truth is, the next day is slightly better. Minho is really attentive to you, because he is aware something is up, and even though he knows you're not ready to tell him yet, he wanted to make you feel better and let you know you could count on him and open up whenever you wanted.

"Today we will just arrange the last track and tomorrow we will continue with dance practices." Chan says once you're all on your way to the studio, getting everyone's attention. "And I thought, after we finish, we can make a short vlive? It's been a while since we've done one together and it's a perfect occasion, in a few weeks we will be releasing this brand new album, right? So… are you in?"

No one hesitates to agree with the idea. Chan is right, it's been quite a while since you all gathered to make a live and have fun, so it sounds like it will be a pleasant and distracting activity after these past days of stress and overwork.

So all said and done, once you guys are done with the recording of the last track of the album, you get some food and make yourselves comfortable to start with the live. Chan is sitting in his chair, while on the couch in the back is Changbin, right on the armrest, right next to him, Jeongin and Seungmin are along the couch, and on the opposite side to Changbin, Felix has taken a seat.

Minho and Han are on the left side of Chan, and Hyunjin has kept you company on the opposite side, so that everyone can be seen by Stay in front of the camera.

"Okay, is everyone ready?" Chan asks once he has set everything up to start, and presses the start live button when he gets a positive response from everyone.

And it's really nice. Everyone is having a pretty fun time, reading the stay comments, they're placing bets and asking about the songs they will hear next. You guys are joking around, making little spoilers in order to make them suffer a bit for the wait ahead until the album is released, thanking them for the kind comments about the last tiktoks you uploaded among some other comments.

Suddenly the comments drift off to the actions everyone is doing while reading; Jeongin, for example, has started ponytailing Felix's hair and then asked for suggestions to further style his hair, Hyunjin has started feeding you the snacks you brought, while Minho and Han are pushing each other with their shoulders to get more camera, so suddenly some more comments about them catch your attention, which inevitably makes you raise your eyes towards them.

It's a simple, innocent game, but the comments paint it as flirting. And you don't like the way that makes you feel.

Your spirits are now down, and Hyunjin notices it immediately, so he comforts you, hugging you a little, letting you know that you can count on him if you need to let off steam, and also taking your cell phone so you can no longer read those comments.

He quickly sends a message to Chan to end the live broadcast promptly, which he does within a few minutes without question, just after everyone has said goodbye and sent good wishes for Stay.

"So, shall we go now?" Jeongin asks a bit concerned at the abrupt ending, to which Chan confirms and says it was gonna last a bit anyway, since he still needed to be at the studio longer and wanted everyone to get more rest.

"Okay, _____ and I are going to the bathroom real quick, meet you all downstairs?" Hyunjin quickly says and everyone agrees, walking off the room as soon as possible and heading to said place.

Once you're inside the big bathroom, you quickly check no one's in the stalls and let out a long sigh, Hyunjin following you.

"Are you okay?" He asks as you wash your face with the cold water.

"Yeah, yeah," You mumble, feeling terrible. "It's just... ugh, this is stupid. I don't understand why I feel this way, it doesn't make any sense, I mean..."

Hyunjin only manages to look at you, feeling empathetic.

"I'm sorry, I'm acting very childish, aren't I? The jealousy I have is quite irrational."

Your friend doesn't know what to say so he simply gives you a hug. Good, his hugs make you feel better. He makes you feel understood. Hyunjin lets you know that what you feel is okay. He won't judge you, he will simply walk you through this.

"Let's go home, Jinnie. Thank you." You simply say and ignore the tears threatening to stream down your face.

The ride home is quite quiet. Minho is beside you, his head on your shoulder as he plays a game on his phone, but your attention is on the road, your eyes lost in the scenery. And you didn't mean to be so heartless, but this whole situation has really overtaken you for the worse.

As much as you try to think about this and come up with a solution, the truth is that all you want now is to get to your dorm room and rest. Maybe cry a little as an outlet to clear your head and then talk it over with Minho.

So once in the apartment, you quickly head to the bedroom, ignoring Minho's calls, shouting your name so that you at least turn to look at him, but his attempts end up failing. Everyone seems to be puzzled by the situation, but they decide not to intervene; at least not for now.

Minho is really surprised by your behavior, and once you have locked yourself in the room, he turns to Hyunjin for help, since he knows that he was the last person you talked to before all this happened.

"Go to him, he seems to be avoiding you, but he needs you." He instructs him, so Minho walks quickly and knocks on the door a couple of times before entering.

It's heartbreaking for him to hear you sobbing under the covers. He's so confused and worried, so he approaches quickly but cautiously, taking a seat right next to you.

"Hey, prince, what's wrong?" He whispers, his sweet voice reaching your ear but not stopping your crying. "My love..."

Minho reaches his hand to the edge of the blanket and slowly lifts it, revealing your sad, soaked face. He just wants to come closer to kiss you and hold you so much, he wants you to stop feeling bad.

"What's wrong, do you need anything, can I do anything for you? Tell me, please."

You look at him and try to stop crying, slowly getting closer as he rounds you with his arms and kisses the top of your head.

Your crying starts to die down, "I'm sorry." You manage to say, with your voice still low, almost in a whisper.

Minho doesn’t understand why you are suddenly apologizing, but he listens to you and lets you continue.

"I've... This is nonsense, I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel like I'm forbidding you to... I mean, I don't want to-"

"____, hey, it's okay, honey. Take a breath, take your time. It’s okay." He says, now placing a kiss on the tip of your nose and raising his hand to erase the tears on your face.

"It's just that..." A sigh leaves your mouth, in an attempt to calm down your nerves. "Lately, I have read and seen... things that are quite hard for me to process and, I know I shouldn't care about it, cause it's meaningless, but somehow, it gets in my head and now I can't simply ignore it. I hate how this makes me feel."

"What's wrong?"

"Please don't hate me for this or laugh about it…"

"Of course I won't." He assures you, smiling up a bit to make you feel comfortable.

"Okay, I'll just say it. This shipping culture the fans have… I try to understand it, it's fun sometimes, but, it's getting on my nerves that all I can see lately it's about you and Jisung… and, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm jealous about this."

You close your eyes, so you can't see Minho's reaction to your words. You said it so quickly you ran out of breath a little bit, and the fact that Minho hasn't said anything in what feels like an eternity, makes you feel nervous. Did you mess up? Is he holding up a laugh? Does he feel attacked?

"Prince, look at me." He utters, holding your face, which is probably turning red, and caressing your cheek.

You slowly do as told, cracking one eye open and quickly with the other one after seeing his face is serious. He's not laughing, but there's a small smile that denotes comprehension.

"I love you." Minho says before pulling you for a kiss. His free hand sliding on your back and holding you tightly. When you run out of breath, he slowly separates, but his forehead is resting on yours and your noses touch up on a skimo kiss. "I love you so, so much."

"I love you too…" You whisper. "I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be." He quickly says, separating a bit so he can stare into your eyes. "You don't have to be sorry, okay? I understand where you're coming from. What you feel is completely understandable. I just… I wish you had told me before you felt this bad."

A smile is finally drawn in your lips, "I honestly didn't know it affected me that much until now. I mean, I just didn't care about it at the beginning, but now it's… everywhere. In a lot of comments on every single video, every live; on signs at the concerts, on fansigns… It got into my head."

"I'm sorry, prince." He says and kisses you again. "Uhm, I'm sure we can talk it out and maybe, if it makes you feel like this, Jisung and I can stop it by not interacting too much-"

"No!" You interrupt him, making him feel surprised. "No way, no. This isn't what I want to happen. It's not your fault, not Jisung's. I don't want you to stop being friends or having your friendship affected by this. I don't think this is in our hands to solve, I'll have to find a way to ignore it and move on."

"Love, I'd do anything to make you feel better. I don't want you to ever feel sad about this situation, we can look out for a solution with Jisung. I'm sure he'll understand." He says.

"I know, but I love and respect your friendship with him too. You've been friends since forever, even before I took part in the group, and I will never forgive myself if that is ruined somehow because of this."

Minho looks at you with adoration, "Are you sure? Because we can come up with a solution."

You smile, "I'm sure. I just needed to let it all out to feel better. It's gonna be okay, eventually."

"Okay, just let me know if you ever feel like this again, please."

"Sure. Thank you, love."

"No need to, my prince." He says and kisses you again. "Now let's wash up your pretty face and watch a movie? I'll let you pick."

"Deal."

Minho doesn’t separate from you the rest of the night. He showers you with kisses and whispers sweet words to your ears until you fall asleep between each other's arms. From now on, you know everything will be okay.

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