#alfred is a god

[arunneronthird]

pov you just tried to express an opinion in a wayne party. youre a super

#i think keeping the sunglasses for alfred was relevant to the narrative #the only person having fun is jason cause he craves chaos #oh god the tags #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #damian wayne #tim drake #duke thomas #cassandra cain #alfred pennyworth #jason todd #dc comics #my art #ladies. gentlemen. you have eaten well.

[trashmakerarticle]

Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

#jason todd #Bruce Wayne #dick Grayson #Damian Wayne #tim Drake #clark kent #Batman #alfred pennyworth #Bruce: he my little baby #jason: I’m 6’2 and have the ability to kill you if I wanted #Bruce: my baby my little son #jason: GOD YOURE SO EMBARRASSING DAD #jason was probably the most behaved child before he went boom boom and I stand by that #he enjoyed school #most likey hated it when he missed it #and he loves classic literature??? #bros a huge nerd #yea dick is all smiles but probably gave Bruce’s near death heart attacks everytime he swung from chandeliers and rooftops #jason just wanted to live his life in the library reading his fav books and homework

[pokeberry5]

Hi for doodle request, can I see Tim showing Damian pictures he took before being Robin?

i got carried away thinking about them

the reality lol:

i think it'd be funny if what finally brought them together is damian gaining a grudging respect for tim when he learns about the obsessive lengths tim went to in the lead up to his assumption of the robin title and tim realizing he's found a fellow devoted dick grayson admirer (just-nightwing admirers and dick-grayson-friends don't count)

bonus:

they're both fanatics

the panel is from new titans #60

#i found a muji gel pen imitation for procreate and i am truly living my best life #its free by artofwendyxu on kofi! #sart #damian wayne #tim drake #dc #asks #alfred the cat i did my best... #long post #ish #tim is like oh my god damian also immediately recognized dick??? maybe he is chill.... #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!

[emo-batboy]

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

Part 51 (Masterlist)

(Part 52)

@bruciemilf it’s SNL week

There is so much exposition in this part. Just gimme a sec. (Also? That shirt? Took way too long to edit. But please trust the process.)

If you’re not already aware, I wrote a summary of the Battinson SNL episode forever ago. However, I will only be linking that on Saturday’s update. If you want to spoil yourself, you can find it somewhere on my blog, but I’m not handing it over just yet.

That’s it for now. See you tomorrow <3

#a wild battinson #battinson #bruce wayne #batman #the batman 2022 #the batman #batman 2022 #dc universe #dc #alfred pennyworth #the daily planet #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #oh god there’s so many people this time #gotham #only in gotham #gotham city #gothamite #battinson needs a hug #social media au #social media #give battinson a child 2k24 #soft bruce wayne

[violent138]

Bruce, slumped in a chair: "Alfred it's so insane, he just doesn't stop. Yesterday he broke his ankle and he's back in those goddamn pixie boots with 'extra supports' like that fucking does anything-"

Alfred, stirring sedatives into the tea he's making Bruce: "Oh my."

Bruce: "-I just don't know what to do. He needs to take a break, holy shit that much anger can't be good for a child, and don't even get me started on the coping mechanisms Alfred, they're unhinged-"

Alfred, looking up with a tight smile: "You don't say. Sugar, Master Bruce?"

Bruce, dragging a hand down his face: "-and let me tell you, I don't know where he gets his energy because he hasn't slept in two days! Two days! I was impressed when he first got here, but now I'm just concerned-"

Alfred, handing the tea to Bruce: "Understandable, sir. Anyone in your position would be."

Bruce, nearly choking on the tea: "Alfred, Alfred, I'm so dumb--the lack of sleep must be getting to me-- just spike his orange juice with sleep meds. Child doses of Nyquil or something. Yeah, that'll do it."

Alfred, watching Bruce drain the cup: "I couldn't agree with you more."

#please enjoy the fruits of my feverish ADHD mind #I don't know what in God's many names this is #I'm so tired and I'm babysitting and I want to put the house under a sleeping curse #dick grayson #robin #battinson as disaster bat dad #batdad #alfred pennyworth #batman #batfamily

[ego-meliorem-esse]

Damn boy how many traumas you got???

#i hate the faces the anatomy blehhhh but i found it funny and by god i had a good nose exhale #hetalia #hws america #hws canada #alfred f jones #matthew williams #na bros #my art #myart

[patdevilles]

Grace Kelly as Frances Stevens in TO CATCH A THIEF (1955)

#Grace kelly #to catch a thief #alfred hitchcock #filmedit #classicfilmedit #classicfilmblr #classicfilmsource #filmgif #fyeahmovies #myedit #GOD SHE IS SO PRETTY #also that little embroidered white sleeve moment is so major

[spacedace]

Another dp x dc prompt/blurb thing for yall:

Everyone knows how much Batman cares about his kids. They may not all get along with him all the time, but it's obvious that there's nothing that the Dark Knight won't do to keep his bats and birds safe.

When Danny gets taken by the GIW, Jazz, Dan & Elle - acting as regents of the Infinite Realms while Danny is out of action - find themselves using this fact to try and force the Justice League's hand in helping them.

(The Justice League, it should be noted, have no idea about anything going on with the GIW and the Anti-Ecto Acts. Everyone in Amity has been led to believe that the JL has just been ignoring them.)

They don't want to do it, but their options are limited. The Realms are howling for blood and its either declare war and obliterate the human race or try to get a little sneaky and a lot underhanded. So they decide they're going to force Batman to help them by kidnapping as many of the BatKids as they can and holding them hostage until their demands are met.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #danny phantom #justice league #danny fenton #jazz fenton #dan phantom #dani phantom #danielle phantom #elle phantom #batfam #bruce wayne #bruce is losing his absolute SHIT #They took his BABIES #ALFRED GET THE SHOTGUN #Justice League is scrambling to destroy the GIW & get King Phantom back to his people before Bruce does something drastic #extra points if Jon & Kon also get scooped because they wouldn't let go of thier respective birds #so Clark is also losing his god damn mind #or maybe everyone *but* Tim (& Kon) got scooped #and we get some Super Brain Dead on our hands when Tim & Kon meet Danny while breaking into a GIW facility #everyone is so worried about the batkids but they're actually having the best vacation of their lives they are being PAMPERED #Jason stumbles upon Ghost Writer's library and just refuses to leave after its all over

[catmanbowser]

The batfam side profiles i did during lunchbreak i finally get to color it teehee :9

#batfam #dick grayson #jason todd #cassandra cain #bruce wayne #tim drake #duke thomas #damian wayne #alfred pennyworth #dc #catman's art #god lird thats a lotta ppl to tag lol #this took a day but hey i like how it turned out :] #i had a hard time drawing bruce (as always) but hey he looks..like bruce (i hope)

[qcomicsy]

I am in my angst today so I'm going to drop a few of ansty Batfam headcannons.

- Bruce till this day do that father thing of open the door of his kids room to see if they're sleeping and then closing (even when they're just visiting).

- The first time he did that to Tim, Tim pretended to be asleep and then he just started sobbing because Jack used to do the same thing too, and his mother before him.

- Dick, when he moved out of the manor, still would use the Batcomputer to do research from time to time. Everytime he slept on from tiredness he would woke up with Batman's cape on his shoulders.

- No one knows Bruce has a good singing voice other than Dick and Jason because he would sing to their sleep, sometimes, when they had nightmares.

- He stopped singing when Jason died. The only person who was able to hear him sing again was Damian. He pretended to be asleep, because if he opened his eyes he would noticed how much he misses his mother.

- Jason singed to Damian sleep once at the league. None of them remember that.

- Damian tries constantly to assure himself that he could take down every member of his family if he needed to. Deep down he knows he can't.

- Bruce spent weeks trying to master how to cut someone's hair ( with Alfred's help ) so he could give Dick a haircut, because Dick said to him that his mother used to cut his hair.

- Bruce taught every single one of his sons how to shave their beard.

- Bruce had a mental breakdown once because he was starting to forget his mother's face.

- Cass overanalyze everyone's body language to see if they're healthy and happy. She tries to stop herself sometimes because more often the answer is no.

- Sometimes Tim flinches when Jason moves to fast near him. They never talked about that out loud.

- Sometimes Damian's hand tremble when he grabs his sword, he can still feel the blade.

- In one of Dick's worst fights with Redhood the moment he got home he threw up. His brother's eyes used to be blue like his and not green.

- There was a time where Jason was so happy that Bruce's blue eyes were the same shade of his.

- Bruce's hands still tremble when he sees his children on the battlefield.

- Bruce has a habit of messing with his children's hair, every single one of them picked the same habit after him.

- When Dick moved out to the Titans Bruce couldn't sleep for weeks.

- Jason avoids to change clothes in front of his brothers because of the face Dick made when he saw his autopsy scars for the first time.

- One time Jason had a panic attack and misdialed Tim's number, Tim stayed on the line until Jason managed to sleep.

- There's times where Bruce says the word Robin and all of them look at him.

#batfam hc #Batfamily headcannons #I'm *IN* my feelings so *EVERYONE* must suffer too #'oh but in the cannon' I don't care leave me alone #the source is that I made the fuck up #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #tim drake #bruce wayne #cassandra cain #damian wayne #alfred penyworth #dick grayson #jack drake #DO *NOT* TAG THIS AS BATCEST I swear tO GOD-

[jotaroslooseeyebrowhair]

I’ve had this idea in my head for days now and it just won’t LEAVE so here have scraps

So we know those de-aged au’s with Danny right, and the ones where Jason adopts him? YESSSSSS so anyways the thing that’s been ravaging my brain like an anteater on crystal meth is:

So all night has been pretty shit for Jason. Drug dealers, a couple muggings (who even goes out anymore in crime alley, at this time of night???????) and some human traffickers. You know, the usual. So anyways he’s pissed. Not to mention when he comes across some bastard who’s beating his family, jason promptly broke his legs in a couple new ways he liked. Later, deep into the night he’s already seeing a bit of green around the edges and he’s already called in dick to cover some areas while he cools off, so, naturally, as it is in crime alley, something goes horribly wrong that gets him pissed. Beyond pissed. He sees green and only when dick drags him away does he see some red too. A lot of red.

Fuck.

Well, he knows exactly what he has to do, so he pushed dick off of him and starts roof-hopping over to his apartment (where did his bike go?) and dick calls in the others thinking Jason’s going for more weapons/ammo or smthn, and Jason gets to his lil place and carefully opens a window, trying to be quiet because even though he’s in a killing mood he doesn’t want to wake Danny up, what kind of monster would do that?

Anyways Jason’s taking a moment with his helmet off, leaning his arms against the counter to calm himself down taking deep breaths he learned from Danny yes okay he learned from his son when Tim and dick crash through and Jason gets a little more pissed because those assholes probably just woke up Danny!

So here’s Tim and dick wrestling with Jason to get his weapons off of him and calm him down when all of a sudden the lights flick on and there’s a little boy, around 6, with a messy mop black hair and loose space-themed pajamas, rubbing his eyes as he clearly just woke up. everyone freezes in place and Danny looks around, his eyes adjusting to the light before he looks at Jason and–

“Dad? What’s going on?” He asks so innocently with a tilt of his head. While his brothers are stunned to silence Jason shrugs them off as hard as he can (they woke up his son) and walks over to Danny. Dick and tim lurch foreward but Jason just picks up Danny and places him on his hip. Danny reaches forward and carefully pulls off his dads domino and holds it in his hand while he frowns. “Green monsters are being angry again?” And Jason just sighs with his son (his son!!) in his arms and looks at danny; dick and Tim now seeing the green almost completely gone from his eyes.

“Yeah bud. No big deal though, alright? The green monsters are all gone now. So come on, it’s past your bedtime Danny.” To which Danny groans and he turns to look at the two others in the room who are bewildered as fuck because does Jason have a kid????? W h e n?? H o w??? Okay they know how they really don’t but that’s not the point

Anyways they stand there for a minute while Jason puts Danny to bed and when Jason comes back out he stares at them in silence. Then he just *sighs* and stares them dead in the eyes “yes, I have a kid. Yes, he quiets the pit. Yes, it’s past his bedtime. And yes,” Jason cocks his gun, “you both will be getting out of my apartment. right now. Silently.”

Yeah, they guess questions can wait till tomorrow

Link to the fic :)

#dick is just excited to meet his nephew #Tim is thouroughly confused as to when Danny happened #word of Danny spreads through the family like wildfire and they all come over to see Danny #he’s a little shy at first but his aunts and uncle can do BACKFLIPS so it’s okay :) #Bruce is beyond bewildered that he has a grandson but by god if he isn’t gonna spoil the fuck outta that little blue eyed bastard #Alfred is ESTATIC #dc x dp #dp au #Jason Todd adopts Danny #danny phantom #jason todd #Jason Todd dad au

[psalmsofpsychosis]

The Average Alfred Pennyworth Portrayal: *is Bruce Wayne's capable and somewhat cryptic butler*

Gotham!Alfred Pennyworth: *threatens an 11 years old boy to eat his dinner proper because if he doesn't he'll be too light in weight by the morning and the Balloonman will come for him and will tie him to a balloon and send him to the skies to die because he's rich and corrupt and forever guilty*

#not to be dramatic on main but i'd die for Gotham!Alfred he's clinically insane #and he's exactly what Bruce needs they're so fucking toxic together (most affectionate) #like you look at Gotham!Alfred #and suddenly it's very understandable why baby Bruce turned into a bucket of feral ferrets the way he did #god i love them both so much they's so!!!!! #they grapple with each other and have their teeth sunken into the back of each others' necks so deep and it's pure affection and love #and it's honest and trusting but it's not kind #fucking delicious dynamic Gotham's Alfred&Bruce saved me actually #they're sewn together by the spine and they both suffer for it #alfred pennyworth #Bruce Wayne #Gotham #Gotham TV

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 84

Amity Park absolutely adores her little ghostling, her little Gatekeeper who was of her own ectoplasm, reborn from her own blood in the center of her new heart. She absolutely adores her baby, practically a newborn, being only a year dead! 

So of course she had to gush and boast about her little phantom to the other city spirits! They all got together to gossip sometimes after all. And both Smallville and Fawcett started to gush about their own little ones back! 

Gosh they should set up a playdate at some point, her little phantom could use some friends in the mortal realm. Well some more friends, three is obviously not enough. Oh, Gotham and Bludhaven have come over as well! It’s a playdate then! 

Now if only each of their world’s timelines were synced up, but at least everyone is around the same age! 

#dcxdp #dpxdc #City Children Au #Prompts #Each city is from a different timeline lol #Bruce is an angy 16 year old vigilante and was Not prepared to be the oldest #Dick hasn't told them his birthday #and isn't revealing he's older than this Bruce by a few months #Clark is just happy to make friends and he brought pie! his ma and him made it! #Dick is wheezing at these itty bitty versions of Bruce and Clark- this is great and hilarious and oh god he has to protect them #Billy is chanting to do it whenever someone has a Bad Idea- He's just become the Champion of Magic & the gods encourage it #Danny is delighted to have more friends and he's not the oldest Or the youngest so yay! #they're having fun #lots of fun in all their timelines and in the realms too #if they get in trouble they call their city-parents #“Alfred says I'm a polite young man. He also says that if someone tries to grab me to use my teeth” #“Sounds about right” “Mood” “Biting is always good” “But what about diseases??” #“Hey Danny you like alien stuff right- do you think you can help me and the others translate this it came from the ship i was on” #“Omg Billy you should teach us mortal magic and we can teach you are stuff” #Dick: I don't wanna be the responsible one so I'm going to encourage them all to be Worse :) #At some point the squad is going to end up in some other timeline and confuse the fuck out of the JL lol #dick grayson #danny fenton #billy batson #clark kent #bruce wayne

[musclemworship]

#alfred chiriac #muscle worship #muscle god #bodybuilder #muscle gif

[bet-on-me-13]

Jason's Birthday Gift

Batman isn't completely against killing. He just feels like he can't be the one to make that decision, because "who gave him the right to be Judge, Jury, and Executioner?"

But, Jason's birthday is coming up and he thinks he has the perfect Idea for him.

Jason was resurrected. Apparently murdered Ghosts have a supernatural need to be avenged. He put 2 and 2 together.

He summons the Ghost King and asks if it's legal to Kill the Joker.

Cut to Jason'a birthday and everybody is having a blast. They get to opening the presents and finally get to Bruce's gift.

Jason opens it and finds a Signed Warrant for the Jokers Death, from the king of the dead Phantom.

He looks up at Bruce disbelieving, but he just nods back and continues drinking his coffee.

Jason: Did you just get me permission to Kill the Joker from fucking GOD!?

Bruce: Go break his Kneecaps kids

Alfred: I'll pack a lunch!

#dc x dp #dpxdc #danny phantom #DC #Dcu #Batman #Jason todd #Bruce Wayne #Joker: Come back with a Warrant #Bruce: Ok bet #Danny is just so happy that he finally has a chance to murder that focking clown #The Realms throw a party to celebrate #Jason had never loved his dad more #Not only did he finally her permission to kill the Joker #He got permission from the GOD OF THE DEAD HIMSELF #The Batfamily is hyped #The make it a family outing #Alfred makes a picnic basket #They all eat the most delightful sandwiches while breaking Jokers kneecaps #They call Harley and Ivy to join them #Harley doesn't even question it #Ivy even less so #He hurt her girlfriend. He will pay.

[ego-meliorem-esse]

I have drawn so much baby Matt and Al recently god damn...

Is it a baby fever of do am I just fascinated by the different experiences of these two brothers. Who knows. Anyway,

For Alfred, I headcanon Arthur to have been very hands on in regard to raising his son. Very present but also very much teaching him how to be self reliant and, for the lack of better wording, independent. As a child, Alfred was wery inquisitive and curious. Arthur encouraged that, be it consciously or subconsiously. Arthur would play a huge role in Alfreds development; even when sickness struck young Alfred, Arthur was the one taking charge and staying up with him, making sure his son gets better. During the worst times, Arthur even dismissed all maids and even his sons governess out of frustration. Bc who could ever take better care of his own son than he himself. I have a habit of writing that Arthur does not consider himself a good man, but I do think he is a good father. At least to his firstborn.

This is a sort of continuation of the ask about Arthurs full on menty breaky after the constant infant death Alfred endured in his earliest days (If I find the ask I'll link it). I just wanted Arthur tired and beaten down finding peace in sleep. While at the same time, while he sleeps, Alfreds fever drops.

Matt didn't get the same parenting from François. Arthur may be a good father, but I don't think François was. At least not affectionate enough. He did buy his son presents and even made sure he got the best education. However, was that something he did for Matt or was he expected to do that as a pompous aristocrat? Even when sick, Matthew didn't make much noise. He only let people know how bad it was when he was truly ill and crossing the border of life and death. Though, the person holding Matt and making sure he survived was his governess, Marie. François would stay up and would sent for the doctors, but it was Marie who understood what Matthew needed and wanted at any given moment. She stayed with him for almost 40 years but, due to nations having a much longer childhood, died without being remembered by the boy she cared for and loved so very much.

The person who cared most for Matthew is a person he does not remember.

(I wanna elaborate on Marie some more I love her and she deserves it lol)

Anyway, sorry for the baby spamming I promise to go back to drawing slutty middle aged men in war scenarios ASAP

#hetalia #hws america #hws england #hws canada #hws france #historical hetalia #myart #my art #francois bonnefoy #francis bonneofoy #arthur kirkland #alfred f jones #matthew williams #this did not take as long as i thought it would i cranked these pics out in 2 days god bless #i love procrastinating when i should be studying #my headcanons