#allosexual people do not comment.

[saltwatersweets]

i think it’s really funny how many people say that alastor is ace, not aroace, just because viv has only called him ace.

love you guys but you are GRAPHICALLY overestimating people’s knowledge on aromanticism and asexuality and how they are different. they have been confused with each other since their existence, and just because someone is queer doesn’t mean they’re incapable of confusing the terms or using them interchangeably. alastor is clearly shown to not have romantic feelings, just take a look at some of the official jokes.

both of these are explicitly non-romantic. not just non-sexual, they are both jokes and comments about being aromantic, not asexual.

yes, rosie only mentions him being asexual in episode seven, but again, this is a joke made about the idea of him being in a ROMANTIC relationship. unless rosie was implying that she knows alastor and charlie wouldn’t fuck? which 😭😭 i don’t think she would do that??? it was definitely a joke about him not wanting romance because of his romantic and sexual orientation. and yes, i understand how annoying it is that asexuality and aromanticism are being used interchangeable in this instance, and this is an issue ace/aro people have been facing for years, but this is clearly a joke about him being aroace, not just ace.

again, you guys are giving alloromantic/allosexual people WAY too much credit on how much they know about ace/aro people, when most of their knowledge (if any) is “asexual people dont want sex, aromantic people don’t want romance” and that’s it. vivziepop, despite being queer herself, is still allo as far as im aware. allo people BARELY know anything about asexuality or aromanticism or care to learn the difference, and it’s clear that aro/aceness is being used interchangeably here. alastor is portrayed as aroace, and is clearly meant to be seen as aroace, even though he’s only ever been explicitly called ace by viv.

#this isnt even mentioning that his va called him aroace and viv never corrected him lol #(in front of her i might add) #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor the radio demon #asexual #aromantic #aroace #aroace alastor #aromantic alastor #asexual alastor #hazbin hotel meta #hazbin meta

[ahungeringknife]

Let's talk about Aspec characters and relationships!

I'm aroace. I write a lot of characters who are aspec in some way. I have a lot of aspec friends. And this is why your aspec character is driving me crazy. There's also sex talk in here so if you're not mature enough to handle it please scroll past.

Edit: Allos also should reblog this if you found it helpful.

First lets get some terms right:

Aromantic (aro) and Asexual (ace) are two distinct things. Aroace means you're both aromantic and asexual at the same time. It is generally referred to as 'aspec' (aro/ace spectrum) when you fall on one or both spectrums. If you are not aspec you are allosexual/alloromantic (allo). It just means someone who isn't ace or aro. You can also be aroallo or aceallo (aromantic allosexual, asexual alloromantic). All these terms are neutral and not used in derogatory ways similar to trans/cis. It's a descriptive word not a put down.

Now about those characters and their relationships. Because that is the most :))))) to me as an aroace is when people just don't know how to handle an aspec character. Usually because they're allo. But that's okay you probably don't know and we're all here to learn from each other. Here's some things to consider when you want to make or write an aspec person.

Ace's do sometimes have sex. They just aren't motivated by sex. That's it.

Along with sex your ace character may also masturbate and feel good being touched. They also might only like touching themselves and hate when other people do it. They usually also know when someone is hot/sexy and will comment on it. Finding someone sexy =/= we want to fuck them. Thinking someone is hot =/= we want to fuck them. We're still human. We know what a hot human looks like. Your ace character might be attracted to someone's appearance aesthetically but have no interest in their bits. Your ace character might fall in love with the most beautiful person in your story and never show any interest of wanting to bed them.

They can have boyfriends/girlfriends/romantic partners they do or don't have sex with. But they can be anywhere on the spectrum of sex repulsive, to sex positive, to absolute sex hound. Some of the horniest people you know are probably ace. Some of the horniest people I know are ace, and I have a lot of ace friends.

And we're not all virgins. Some ace's had sex and realized 'nah fam. Didn't do it for me' and never did it again. Others are virgins and have no intention ever of having sex. Others are virgins but don't care either way? It just hasn't happened. Others enjoy sex with their partners. Some are parents! You can be ace and had enough sex to procreate. Some also think sex is icky or it squicks them out. Some might be squicked out at the thought of sex with another person but they're fine looking at porn or doing it themselves. There is a wide range of what asexuals are into just like allos.

Aros also sometimes do the sex. They are not motivated by romance. That's it.

That being said your aro character can have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner and it can be 'romantic'. It doesn't have to be a queer platonic relationship. Your aro character also might not want to be in a relationship at all. It is not weird for your aro character to call their partner their partner or bf/gf or if they're married their husband/wife.

Aro people do not get butterflies. They don't really get flustered around people they like. There's no spark. And they don't feel that romantic attraction allos do when they meet someone and fall in love with them. I've found that aro people are also terrible at flirting or picking up flirting cues. At least in my own personal experience when it took my aro ass 3 years to realize some girl was flirting with me and I just thought she was being nice to me. Take the 'useless lesbian' trope and take it to 11. We just don't know. Aro people also know when other people are hot. Just like aces just because we're aro doesn't mean we don't know a baddy when we see one. We just probably won't realize said baddy is flirting with us...

Aro character still love. They love their family, they love their friends, they love their partners. And it's all real love. The love is still there. Aro characters also probably know what they should do to mimic being in love. Even if we don't love someone more than platonically they may still do the things romantic partners do with their partner. Some don't! And that's fine too. Sometimes you're boyfriends and you share the same bed with him, and sometimes your girlfriend is just your roommate. Both are totally valid aro relationships. Maybe your character kisses their partner passionately and they like it, or they might only kiss during sex, or they might not kiss on the mouth. All valid and correct, still no romo. Kissing =/= romance for aros. Sex =/=romance for aros.

Aroace characters do all those things! At once! They can do the sex, and the boyfriend/girlfriend/partner and loving their friends. They just are not motivated by sex or romance. Kissing =/= sexual attraction. Sex =/= romantic love.

Being aspec is looking at the most beautiful and delicious cake in the world and going 'neat, cake' and walking away not even wondering what it tastes like, not even for a second considering having a bite. It's a cake. Neat. You are not motivated by cake. You don't even really care about cake. It's nice that other people fucking loooooooove cake but it's just not for you.

We also know what love is supposed to be like, what a 'healthy sexual' relationship should feel like. It's everywhere. All around us. Constantly. It's also sometimes fucking exhausting! It's why some aspec people can be a bit agro. We get it you're in love/got a new partner/are sleeping with someone/really sexually attracted to this person/keep spamming us with your celeb thirst pics/etc. It does get tiring sometimes. We don't care about the cake and sometimes listening to you talk about the cake drives us crazy. Consider that too when writing aspec characters. Sometimes their friends and their cakes are annoying no matter how much they love them platonically or romantically.

Anyway just some things to consider for your aspec OCs from an older aroace. Should be said aspec is a wide spectrum and I'm drawing on my own experience as an aroace with aspec friends, and my writing of those characters. If you have more questions about writing characters on this spectrum feel free to ask!

#writeblr #writblr #writing advice #character advice #asexual #aromantic #aroace #aspec character #writing tips #writing #character tips #writing help #character help #writers on tumblr

[echoes-of-mia]

okay this is a long ramble and kinda personal, so bear with me, but i want to talk about being aspec in the joker out fandom bc I'm full of emotions and i need to share them somewhere

(just a short warning for internalised aphobia before i go on)

for context, i identify as aspec, more specifically asexual and some flavour of aromantic. I've known about the ace part for about 3-4 years now, the aro part is more recent and I'd say that before, lets say, a couple of months ago, I'd always seen that as something negative, something that makes me miserable, a deficit that will always be there and that others will never understand

and then i joined the (tumblr) joker out fandom around... june of last year, probably? and at first i thought "theres no way there are many queer people in this fandom, its essentially a boyband, and other aspec people? no way"

well, oh boy was i wrong

because not only is this fandom, like what, 90% queer? (i know someone made a poll at some point but i dont remember the percentages) but it's also around 50% aspec. and there's just this general positivity and support surrounding the a-spectrum in the fandom. like, some days ago there was an aphobic comment somewhere and before i even saw it my dash was FLOODED with people defending aspec people and i was just sitting in the kitchen reading through the posts and crying.

and yes, this is tumblr, i could have seen this coming and it's probably different on other platforms, but so many aspec people in one place, in one fandom, is still something that I've never experienced before.

so why are so many aspec people drawn to a slovenian indie/shagadelic rock band that, at first glance, is just 5 very good-looking probably-straight guys making music? that doesnt really make sense, right?

and then you see how much more they are. how they interact with each other. how comfortable they are in their sexualities, in their masculinity, in being themselves. you see a group of friends that love each other so unashamedly it's a bit unbearable to watch sometimes. you don't see them holding back because "thats not their partner!" or "that's reserved for romantic relationships!", you just see love. you see them supporting each other, being physically affectionate, looking out for each other, laughing together, even living together. vse kar vem could easily be a romantic song, but it's about their friendship!!

and what is all of that, if not THE dream of many aspec people? to be okay with not feeling sexual or romantic attraction because you have your group of friends that you love the same amount as allosexual/-romantic people love their partner(s) and to show it, and to know that they love you the same (and won't replace you with romantic partners) because they also show it, without thinking twice about it, without thinking about how others might interpret your relationship because it just doesn't matter as long as you love each other.

so of course aspec people see themselves in joker out. we see hope for ourselves in them, we are probably a little (or in my case very) jealous of their friendship, we want what they have or we just love to finally see real people live with the sort of affection we would like to have. (just to clarify, this is based mostly on what i feel, so other aspecs might feel completely different about this, idk why I'm trying to generalise this)

and this is about all five of them, but to take jan and nace as an obvious example: they love each other so much that the fans start to speculate, and they know about it. but instead of hiding their affection, they just keep on doing what they're doing. because they know how they feel for each other, and it's no one else's business, and they won't be stopping their love just because of "conspiracy theories". and to me it doesn't matter how they love each other (platonic, romantic, whatever), it matters that they do and that you can't help but notice it, because they show it in every interaction we see of them. the damon baker photoshoot just confirmed that, they look at each other and the amount of love makes me cry, it's so incredibly beautiful.

(just some other things i want to mention: them probably cooking mostly potatoes because nace is glutenfree. nace calming down bojan after his panic attack in summer. jan and bojan casually kissing on the lips during a concert. the jure and bojan getting married photoshoot. bojan touching kris's hair during concerts. kris being carried around during a photoshooting. jure and jan drawing a heart together. them gathering around jure's drumset during concerts. i could go on but for my sanity and yours i won't, there are so many moments that just make me soft)

I'd love to be more physically affectionate with my friends, but every time there's this voice in the back of my head saying what society has conditioned it to say, which is that that kind of affection is reserved for romantic relationships, and this voice stops me every time. i feel like bojan, jan, jure, kris and nace either don't have that voice (anymore?) or they've just managed to ignore it, they don't hold back and i admire that as much as i wish i could be like that.

and while i still have a long way to go until i can be affectionate with my friends without worrying about it or holding myself back, joker out have shown me that it's possible, because of them i finally have days on which i think that i can be aspec and actually happy about it. being aspec finally feels as freeing as it should feel and I'm just grateful

joker out has allowed so much queer joy into my life without intending to and although i don't think anyone i know irl will ever understand this, i hope that some of you can relate to this in some way.

I've said this a lot during the past two weeks but i can never say it enough: all the love to my fellow aspecs, and also to all the non-aspec people who support us <3

feel free to add to this if you want to; my dms are always open if you want to talk about it without posting about it, i love hearing other people's thoughts about stuff like this ^^

#i really want to write sth like this about gender too bc thats also connected to all of this #special love to sonja for all the moments of self-discovery we've had in the past months 💚💚 #joker out #personal #thanks for listening to my rambles <3

[the-crimson]

I was gonna make a comment on someone else’s post but I’ll just make a new one cuz I don’t wanna derail theirs XD

(This is aimed at the fandom, the characters being confused about 4halo is perfectly fine lol)

In regards to 4halo, I think the fandom needs to keep in mind that cc!bbh has said q!bbh is aromantic. That means that you will never be able to put any of his relationships into neat little boxes of platonic or romantic.

I’m aromantic and I’ve had people tell me my relationship with one of my closet friends has to be a romantic one because of how close we are/how we act with each other when it’s not in the way they are imagining. We aros often joke that we’ve unlocked a “secret third thing” but a lot of times relationships aren’t as cut and dry as you’d like to believe even between allosexuals - especially within the queer community.

A romantic relationship is not defined by what people do with each other or how they act around each other but by their attraction to each other. Q!bbh has made it pretty clear he has no romantic or sexual attraction to anyone so trying to put his relationships in those boxes is going to leave you disappointed.

As an aromantic person, it’s difficult to classify my relationships into these simplistic categories so I usually just avoid the question or change the subject. Q!bbh does the same.

Part of it is that cc!bbh is a troll and is obligated to always chose the dialogue option to create maximum drama but the other part is q!bbh probably doesn’t know how to explain the nature of his relationship with Forever in terms of romantic or platonic because it doesn’t fall into either.

It’s just like his relationship with Skeppy. They are immortal soulmates who are extremely possessive and codependent but good fucking luck trying to put their relationship in a box.

I think trying to look at 4halo through a purely romantic or platonic lens is doing yourself and the characters a massive disservice. You cannot forget or ignore that fact that q!bbh is canonically aromantic when analyzing this ship. Yeah go on a write ur romance or smut or what ever but when looking at the cannon, do not forget it or you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

#qsmp #crimson speaks #4halo #forever player #badboyhalo #idk if this is discourse but it’s something people gotta remember #we are probably never going to get a clear cut declaration from q!bbh on the nature of their relationship #and that’s how a lot of aro relationships work #that’s how mine work #it’s honestly really refreshing seeing an aro character being explored also well #our relationships are confusing! they don’t follow standard norms! #that’s just how we work!

[that-bisexual]

The A in LGBTQIA is not for ally.

Although allies are great, don't get me wrong, it's great people support us but they are not part of this community.

The a stands for asexual/aroace/aromantic/agender/allosexual/etc.

Please, putting ally in the acronym is like putting white people in BIPOC (black, indigenous, people of color)

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Note: I got comments saying aphobia because I listed allosexual and I do understand what it means. Not to make an excuse but I listed it in a three am frenzy an didnt bother rereading it. I'm actually sorry for that and it was my bad. (I'm leaving allo on there only so this note makes sense) We're only human so I hope someone will learn from this mistake. Sorry again, I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings

#agender #asexual #aromantic #aroace #lgbtq #allosexuality #lgbtqia #lgbtqia pride

[cl0ckworkqueerness]

[trigger warning: mention of sexual assault]

the specific breed of queer queerphobia is just as if not more frightening than non-queer queerphobia, specifically in this case as it relates to acespec/arospec people (terms which will hence be combined into "aspec" for the sake of clarity, see the tags for a quick note about this)

if it's not already clear from my posts, i am very supportive of the silenced, erased, and shunned parts of the queer community. i involve myself a great deal in breaking down the walls that queer people have decided to erect in order to determine who does and doesn't get to call themselves "queer". nothing breaks my heart more than seeing other people who experience the world in a way starkly different from perisex, allosexual, alloromantic, cisgender, heterosexual people, get shunned from a family who also experiences the world in such a difference way, simply because it's not different "enough", or not different in the way they want to be different

aspec people will always unquestionably be queer, regardless of anything else that would or wouldn't make them queer. period.

aspec people should not and should never need to "justify" themselves to attend pride, not just "as an ally", but as someone whose relationship with romance and sex (the act) differs from what is expected of a "normal" person. they are inherently different, they are inherently queer. full stop.

aphobia exists, regardless of whether or not you follow your blatant bigotry with "no it doesn't". you cannot erase your shittiness by following up your shittiness with "by the way, I'm not being shitty". and if you know you are being aphobic, and you are proud of such a thing, rethink the way you see queerness as a whole. you are a vile human being, and should unlearn the oppression olympics. you not only are an athlete in it, but you are the obstacles. you are the fucking problem.

aspec people regularly face discrimination and harassment for being aspec. the comments of "why do you refuse to give me grandkids" and "maybe you just haven't found the right person yet" and "you're broken" and "you're going through a phase" have all been said about gay people, about lesbians, and about aspec people. aspec people face violence for being aspec. aspec people face corrective rape for being aspec. aspec people face crocodile tears claws that intend to "help", aspec people face blood and claws that intend to hurt, aspec people face real, visible hatred. and even if they weren't "oppressed enough", WHICH THEY UNDENIABLY ARE, 1) there isn't an oppression goal someone needs to hit to become valid, and 2) queer people should not be defined by the oppression we face, anyway.

"b-b-but what about cishet asexual people!!!" i have never seen a sentence less scary in my life. cishet people can be queer, you know? cishet people can be intersex (if they choose to identify as queer), cis people can be asexual and aromantic, pericishet people can in fact be demisexual and heteroromantic, and guess what? they're still queer. they still differ from what's "normal". they're still allowed to pride, because pride is not meant to gatekeep.

pride is meant to celebrate our differences, to fight against those who try to suppress us, and to unite those who feel crushed by the heel of normality.

so don't fucking do their job for them.

#not gender related #asexual #aromantic #acespec #arospec #aspec #acephobia #arophobia #aphobia #note: #i don't know when i saw this or if this person was being serious but i saw someone say that ''aspec'' is actually used to refer to the #autism spectrum and should not be used for ace/aro people and instead should be replaced with acespec and arospec? #as an autistic person who is autistic in such a way that makes it literally impossible for me to mask this is absolutely stupid. #i have NEVER seen this used for autistic people however i HAVE seen it been used as a ''correction'' for ace and aro people seeking #community and support from one another. #i don't know if that's still a thing people say but just in case anyone does: No

[super-ace]

Comment below more specifically if you want to!

#asexual #aromantic #ace #aro #aroace #queer #lgbtqia #asexuality #asexual spectrum

[wuxianxkexing]

I love Mu Qing so much but I think his story arc would be way more interesting if he was canonically allosexual. Gay, bi, straight, doesn't really matter to me. I just think it would add even more complexity to his character. Like it's hard for a lot of monks and nuns to keep their vows during a normal human lifetime, Mu Qing's will power must be absolutely insane if he's 800+ years old, still experiencing sexual attraction and still choosing to uphold his vows. I don't know if he was just being catty when he called Xiao Ying ugly or if he felt the need to comment because he is attracted to women like that but my head canon is that he is at least bisexual. We know that both Mu Qing and Feng Xin act more freely in their disguises so I feel like he probably only made that comment because it's the only time he can actually admit to anyone that yeah, women can be pretty like that. Maybe not this particular one, but since Xiao Ying was the focus in this situation I feel like he probably would've complimented her instead if he actually thought she was really pretty. Like yeah Mu Qing is known for being a bit of a bitch, but even bitchy people are only bitchy about things that they at least somewhat care about.

I think another hint is Mu Qing's reaction in the women's bath house. Our boy hid his face in his hands and screamed. We know he isn't scared of women like Feng Xin is. He was obviously overwhelmed by some kind of emotion though. He was shown having a look around before he realized he shouldn't be doing that. Mu Qing canonically easily blushes because his skin is so pale, but he didn't blush in this scene. Which leads me to think he didn't scream out of embarrassment. He didn't have the typical pervert reaction to it, but he wasn't exactly chill about it either. He could've easily sneaked out without drawing attention to himself if he didn't scream, so why did he do that? I think he screamed, hid his face in his hands and started mentally reciting the ethics sutra. Xie Lian is funny because he started reciting the ethics sutra when Jian Lan tried to hit on him even though he definitely didn't need to. 😂 But because of that we know that is what they were taught to do when faced with "tempting" situations (Xie Lian was just still operating under the assumption that he was straight). So Mu Qing didn't blush out of embarrassment, he had a look around but not in the stereotypical pervert way, and then he screamed. I think the scream was probably induced by intrusive thoughts. Like he has been following the same cultivation path for 800 years, he obviously doesn't want to have thoughts like that, and since intrusive thoughts are by definition unwanted that is probably why he didn't blush and probably why he screamed.

Plus it would be a nice foil to Xie Lian who was able to uphold his vows seemingly without any trouble, minus the one time he was literally poisoned. I feel like Mu Qing's internal dialouge would be like "Oh she's pretty. Too bad my dick don't care. (It definitely cares)." I just think it would be interesting and probably kind of funny. Plus if it was canon it would add an extra hint to his true character if it was revealed earlier on in the books. It's really easy to assume that anyone who's a virgin for 800+ years is on the ace spectrum because most allo people just don't have it in them to be celibate that long.

#heaven officials blessing #tgcf #mu qing

[ineffable-hyperfixation]

Ahem *puts on best "ok people listen up" tone*

Good Omens (and everyone else) fandom! It seems we have regressed a bit....somehow? On the definition of Asexual! Let's clear this up!

Yes the actual literal meaning of the term: A=no sexual =....sex....well but actually no, which is the point of the post

Dictionary definition is why we are here!

Asexual: a person who experiences no sexual feelings or desires, or who is not sexually attracted to anyone.

Note the last line please!

Asexuality is a spectrum.

On one side you have: I cannot become sexually aroused by anything, and in some cases I do not want to

And on the other you (might) have: Literally any other stimulation other than A Face will do just fine!

Asexuals can be turned on by: the written word, a comic, a scene in a movie/show/porn/irl/etc, physical contact, etc!

There is a difference between attraction and desire! Allosexuals usually have that lumped into one thing, to them there (usually) isn't one without the other! If you're attracted to someone it means your body is uh...also good to go. For a lot of asexual people you can be attracted to someone, but your body's just off reading a book or something

Asexual people have crushes, fall in love, comment on how aesthetically pleasing someone is! But they probably don't want to jump their bones like right now (or possibly ever! Depends where you fall on the spectrum!)

You might say: no but! You're talking about demisexual people!

Maybe! Probably not! Demi is just a place way to one side of the spectrum. Where, after getting to know someone really well, you may actually look at them one day and go...."oh shit! Hi down there when'd you wake up??" Your attraction and desire have fused for this person/s...congrats!

An asexual person may never ever want to have sex with their partner. This is fine! But it needs to be discussed between everyone near the start of a relationship. And people need to acknowledge that "once you've found The One everything will click!" is pretty deeply internalized. Be sure you truly understand that that's not (necessarily) the case before commiting to a relationship

An asexual person may absolutely want to (awesome!), but have a hard time getting things moving (put down the damn book there are things to do!!) In which case it's good for all parties to see if they can figure out what sorts of things do turn you on, (as long as you're both willing and able), and how to approach letting your partner/s know they'd like to initiate fun times. (Without it coming across as awkward or pushy!) This makes for a healthy relationship!

"I'm doing this only to please my partner" is not healthy! It's also a really condescending thing to say about all asexual people! Please stop!!

And yeah an asexual person may indeed realize they're demi after starting a relationship! Neat!

Sexuality is like gender. It's all made up because we like labels! Your bits know what they want, when they want it! (Your brain ofc has the final say, I'm very well aware that bits go way off the rails sometimes, that's an entire other post lol)

Other people do not get to dictate how you feel, and like gender it can take a while to realize what your orientation may be. And that label can change so many times over the course of your life!!

Love who you love, have sex with who you (and they) want to have sex with, or don't!! But stop telling other people what they are and are not, simply because your definition or experience is different from theirs

(Please let me know if I've left out something crucial or gotten something horridly wrong! My research is personal/others experience + tumblr explanations + a google search here and there. Please do not come in my replies/comments/inbox telling me the whole post is wrong.....that's petty)

#asexual #demisexual #good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #yes I'm putting it in this tag #that's kinda the whole point #LEAVE THE FANFIC/ART PEOPLE ALONE #if you don't like it #you don't have to consume it #simple as that

[asexual-society]

Hii hope you have a wonderful day today! -I wanted to ask something to make sure im not being mean but- is it possible for an Ace person to be Aphobic? Im in a fandom where there used to be a Ace character- he said he was- thing is, the show never said he was SexRepulsed- but fans took his lack of interest as such. believed he was in fact SexRepulsed. -that character is gone- now, there is yet another character (think, a reboot of the old one) believed to be Ace but this time, he seems to be ok with touch an even seems very friendly ~ with only one character. my ask is, if some people view this second version, as still Ace. but sex favorable, is that aphobic? is maybe having another view on this chracter that is questioning himself, a bad thing? because this is said a lot, that ppl is being aphobic for "refusing to accept he is sex repulsed" or "using the fact he is questioning himself to ship him" (mind you-most shipart is literally hand holding and being buddies) hope Im making sense- im so lost and I trust your blog to help me (because im also scared to be harrased for asking this inside that fandom)

Hey! (We got your other ask, I got half way through answering it and then forgot, so I will get to that soon I promise) Good to hear from you again :) I ended up going a little off topic here, but I hope I managed to fully answer this (if not, just send another one). Also get ready for some parentheses.

In answer to the first part of your question, yes ace people can be aphobic (many ace people can be arophobic, but also acephobic, both to people who share their own identity and others who have a different identity under the ace umbrella).

This is a pretty interesting question actually, because there is acephobia at play in the situation you're describing, but not necessarily in the way those people mean. It is NOT acephobic to have a sex favourable ace character, that's fine, because there are sex favourable aces out there and they're just as much a part of our community as those who are indifferent, averse, repulsed, or some sort of mixture. Sex favourable aces have just a much right to see themselves represented as sex averse aces, but unfortunately, there is so little asexual representation that it can feel like if one flavour of ace people are represented, that that representation has been taken away from aces of other flavours.

It's totally understandable to feel that way, but that doesn't mean those feelings are actually justified? And people get pretty negative reactions for complaining about any lack of rep, which can lead to bad feelings all round and just creates even more of a divide between us. We have to understand that our individual experiences not being represented is NOT the fault of other ace people. It's not fair to want one group to miss out on representation, just so another can get theirs. Additionally, it can be important for people who are questioning or struggling with their identity to work through that in their art, and explorations of things like touch aversion and touch starvation can be very nuanced because one person can experience both to very high degrees, and they each can even compound the other. And, a sex favourable asexual person will not feel the same way about sex as an allosexual person, and that is an equally nuanced and interesting (and fun) thing to be able to explore.

I don't know what media this ask is about, so I can't comment on specifics, but I can admit, I've been frustrated by this sort of thing in the past; it can be really hard to shake an instinct to push back when you feel like you're being treated unfairly, but sometimes we do have to step back and understand that everyone in our community feels the same way, we just want to see ourselves and to feel seen by others. As a person who is both aro and ace, and doesn't want to have sex or be in a romantic relationship, I don't feel represented by characters who are alloace in the way an alloace person does, or sex/romance favourable aroace characters in the way sex favourable aroace people do, but they probably feel that same way when they see aro characters or sex averse characters. It does really suck when people outside of the community ignore and erase the identities of aspec characters because they don't feel our experiences are interesting or valuable enough to represent and explore, but that isn't what's happening on an intracommunity level (as in, within the ace community).

The recent discourse about shipping aroace characters has sort of been getting me down, because it's a complex topic and rather than being a black-or-white, two sides thing, there are people with good and bad takes (mostly bad, let's be real) coming from so many different directions, there is so much nuance it would take me much more than one little answer to cover (and let me tell you, if I were to try, it would not be on this blog!). I might have said this before, but I tend to avoid fandoms of media with canon aroace characters for the most part for this exact reason, and within the community we are SO far ahead of where the rest of the world (and even the rest of the queer community) sees aspec people, I genuinely believe (call it cynical if you like) that this will continue to be a problem for several more years. And like, you can just block people and move on with your life, your fandom experience will be so much more enjoyable if you block people who say shit you think sucks, aphobic or not. Everyone should do this.

I think this is probably long enough now, and I've definitely missed something important, but I hope it helped.

~ mod key

#asks #discourse #mod key #dk-vtf-count #long post #asexual #aroace

[xx-slug-xx]

Hey @rittz :) this is my side blog so I’m replying to you in a post. If you want to reply to whatever I say here, then I’d really appreciate it if you just did so through reblog if that’s fine with you lol

First of all, I’m not uncomfortable with my identity whatsoever. I wouldn’t even say I exist in a middle ground either, and I’m also not uncomfortable with that fact about myself. I cannot control my identity, and I’m perfectly fine with that, but that doesn’t mean that my identity isn’t complex. I love being complex! This is especially true when talking about sexuality. Humans are complicated creatures after all, so I am no different. I actually don’t lean on any one single label to describe my sexuality, because multiple labels are able to define me in some way. I don’t know what to tell you, but I find it redundant that people expect every person on this planet to adhere to there personal expectations for any given label, especially for those in the LGBTQ+ community. I’m not apologetic about that, or the fact that I don’t fit into your personal definition for any given term. You say I’m “not actually asexual”, however, you know nothing about me besides the post that you commented on. You don’t know my life, my sexual history, or what lead me to use the label in the first place. People use labels for different reasons. Most people don’t just uses a label because it sounds cool. They choose a label that they personally feels best defines them. I am no different. Labels for my sexual identity aren’t for others to apply to me, it’s for me to apply to myself based on my own personal life experiences.

I find it funny that you have claimed to not be aphobic. However, most of the points you’ve made have been, inherently, aphobic talking points. “you’re too young”, “you don’t have the sexual experience to know”, “not being a sexual person can be normal”, and “you haven’t found the right person” are all aphobic talking points, and yet, you used all of them in some capacity. You can claim you aren’t aphobic all you want, but it’s obvious that you have internalize aphobia in some form due to how you discuss this issue. And to address these points, I’m an adult (21) whose more than capable of knowing what I want, and I have absolutely no desire for sexual intimacy with another person. It’s not that hard to understand, both for myself and for others. My age doesn’t dictate anything about my sexuality or how much I am aware of it’s affect on me, and the same goes for others in the LGBTQ+ community. I find it rude that you make assumptions about my sexual history due to my age and due to the fact that I do not fit into your personal deffiniton for “asexual”. It’s much more rude when you know you’ve said aphobic things and are inherently being exclusionist, and try to deflect it by saying you aren’t. This goes for anyone. It’s a bad argument when you say one thing while trying to make yourself look better by saying that the opposite is true. It’s not too dissimilar to “I’m not racist, but-”, though obviously, it’s not exact. You can say you aren’t trying to be rude and whatever else, but that doesn’t make what you have to say change it’s meaning into something that someone won’t take as being objectively rude.

You’re right in saying that asexual and allosexual are not sliding scales. It’s a spectrum, but that’s sexuality in general. People use labels for different reasons. Personally, I have found that using the asexual label to define me is a whole lot easier when I have to discuss my sexuality with others. If I were to go into depth, it would be an essay. I’m not going to confuse others with a long-winded response to a simple question. Telling people “I’m asexual” is more comfortable for me and for others. I also do not need to explain my sexuality in depth to anyone, and that includes you. Nobody has the right to know everything about me, let alone why I chose a specific label. That’s the whole point in labels, partially, in my opinion. A single word that can be used to define and simplify a very complex aspect of a person, that’s how I see labels.

It’s also more than strange to me that you, someone who isn’t asexual, is trying to define what the term means for us. This assumption is based on the fact that you only refer to other people as being asexual, and not yourself. If you don’t apply to this label, then who are you to tell us how we are supposed to use it? Now I could be wrong in this, if so, then let me know.

You’re also trying to imply that I imagine allosexuals as people who are always horny. Which isn’t true for me and how almost every person defines the term “allosexual”. You’re coming up with arguments that are based purely on hypotheticals. Your also implying that libido and sexual atraction are the same thing, which they aren’t. I, and anyone else, can be horny and not want to be sexually intimate and/or experience attraction. Don’t equate a biological response to stimuli that people experience and say that every time someone feels horny (or really, any form of arousal), then they are feeling sexual attraction. That’s a very dangerous way of thinking. An example for why this is true would be people with P-OCD who experience any form of arousal from their intrusive thoughts, which is quite commonly found in any sexually-themed intrusive thoughts. Key word is intrusive thoughts, as they are unwanted and people who experience these thoughts are often disgusted by them. Though it’s unwanted, they feel arousal nonetheless. This arousal does not mean they are attracted to these thoughts, or the idea of acting on them. It’s just how the brain and body work together. You can do your own research on the topic if you don’t believe me.

The LGBTQ+ community is full of labels that can change meaning depending on how an individual defines that term for themselves. An example would be calling yourself “gay”. Gay is most often used to define people who experience homosexual attraction. However, different people will use it in different ways. It doesn’t just mean that someone is a gay man or a lesbian. A lot of bisexual people, pansexual people, and others will use the term “gay” to describe themselves. People generally call themselves gay if they feel any sort of attraction, in any amount, towards someone who isn’t the opposite gender. People also commonly call themselves gay if they are attracted to agender, non-binary, and/or genderfluid people. However, for some people, when applied to that specific individual, “gay” means they are only attracted to people of the same gender. The point is, the label “gay” doesn’t just have one stagnant meaning applied to it. It all depends on how an individual is defining it for themselves, not for others. The same can be said for asexual people as well, from my personal experience with myself and the asexual community.

From my experience with people who describe themselves using “asexual”, or any other label under the ace umbrella, their lack of sexual attraction has a much larger role in their sexuality than any sort of feeling of allosexuality does. Aceflux, grey ace, and demisexual are all a few examples of labels people use when they fit into the ace spectrum in some fashion. If you try to argue that these well established labels for peoples’ sexualities do not exist, then I cannot feel comfortable arguing about this with you. It is not appropriate to discuss the existence of other people and their experience with their sexuality in a way that at all insinuates that they are “wrong” or that these sexualities “do not exist”.

I typically use the label “aegosexual” because I fit into that term to the T. However, most people don’t know what that word even is. I also don’t want to explain it to people constantly. Because it fits under the asexual umbrella, I just use “asexual” when I’m in the real world. Or, I just say “queer”. It’s really not a big deal and it doesn’t hurt people. It doesn’t even muddle the original term in any fashion, from my standpoint at least, because it tells people “oh, this person doesn’t like sex, doesn’t have sex, and doesn’t wish to have sex”, which is true for me. That’s all it needs to be, and I don’t owe people any more than that, or even anything if I really think about it.

Quite frankly, anyone who tries to tell me what I’m allowed to call myself based on my perception of my own life experiences is a fool to me. I’m a random internet stranger, and people only know me based on my posts. I don’t post every aspect about myself, and I don’t need to either. If I find a different label that better defines me, then I will use that one. Or if I find that something about my sexuality changes in the future, then I will change my label. But right here, in this moment, this is the label that I feel best defines me. Nobody is going to convince me that I’m wrong about something I’ve had to live with my whole life. I don’t tell you what you can call yourself, you shouldn’t tell me what to call myself either.

#lgbtq+ #discource #lgbtq discourse #asexual #asexuality #ace pride

[moccahobi]

The Creamed Pie

Summary:  What a gross bakery name you thought as you entered, too hungry to turn down the promise of food. Allosexuals were getting more and more brazen by the day but succubi were worse, even if they were ace. And somehow you were helping that ace succubus now.

Pairings: Seokjin (BTS) x Reader 

Rating: SFW (although I ask that because of the number of sexual jokes and comments, please just 18+ people read)

Warnings: sexual innuendos, mentions of death

Genre: fluff, humor, angst, succubus au, slow burn

Word count: 7.9k

 The Creamed Pie

The cafe sign looked down at you with welcoming arms, steam and water puffing out from the name. And if it weren’t for your hunger, you might’ve looked over the bakery because of that name… you might not know much… but that was sexual. You barely even paid mind to how as you were about to give in and look up food nearby on your phone, such a tasty looking place came into view. 

It was too good to be true. 

Just a short walk from your new apartment was a cafe that could fuel you before work and fulfill your cafe loving mind on mellow days? It was a miracle and you could imagine the times you’d spend in here.

The cafe name though .... Were allosexuals ok? 

You laughed and shook your head, your growling stomach you in. Despite the name, the inside wasn't playing off of such sexy themes. 

In fact it was full of pastel colors and vibes. The tables were full of soft rainbows, each table and chair set a mix and match of all the colors. An accent wall of luscious ivy seemed to wave you over to settle into the couch right below it, full of plushies. There were even more plushies sitting on chairs and resting on the counters. It was an eclectic and interesting place that you could see becoming popular for its aesthetics off of social media… especially if they had those aesthetic bathrooms that people would spend twenty minutes in getting the perfect selfie.

The handsomest man in the world with a blinding smile rushed from the backspace, his smile wide and excited as he started fretting behind the counter. Pink oven mitts were barely off before he was shouting welcomes, his pastel blue apron dusted with flour that was sprinkling onto the counter. 

"What can I get for you ?" 

"An Iced americano, please." 

For the briefest second, a frown took over his face before he rushed to make it. After he finished he grabbed a muffin and plated it.

"Here you go."

"Uh. How much is it?"

"Oh! Shoot. Forgot about that. You all normally have registers, right?"

"What?"

"Nothing. This is on the house," The man flashed a large smile. "For being my first ... customer." 

You nodded, grabbed your stuff and sat down. He probably hadn't had customers because of the cafe name… Looking back over though, he didn’t even have a register.

Or… wait… there was one? 

It seemed fuzzy, barely there in your mind but the longer you looked at it, the more you were sure that there was and always had been a register there. You shivered and looked down at your order. Maybe you should of gotten a hot americano. 

Despite the off putting name (who thought of that name and approved it?), taste of the food was out of this world. Everything was bursting on your tastebuds and between the chewy fruit and a crunchy topping, the muffin was the best muffin you’d ever eaten. The owner knew what he was doing by giving you this on the house. You were groaning and vibrating with excitement with each bite. 

Half way through your muffin though you froze, the hair on the back of your neck sticking up as you turned to look at the counter. The man was staring with a big smirk on his face, his plump lips spread thin and teeth on display as he watched you eat.

Creepy.

His smile dropped and he quickly went to the backroom to do something. You deflated once he was gone and finished up your coffee before rushing out. Maybe the cafe wasn’t a place you needed to go to again. That man was creepy and unless you were able to figure out a schedule for other workers, you don’t know if you’d want to stay long enough to eat there.

The cafe stayed with you like a ghost and before long, you were trying to seek it out matter how again. No matter how badly you searched though, you couldn't find it. Somehow the cafe wasn’t in the same spot as last time and you felt a shiver as you thought back to the man. Something wasn’t right with him. His smile haunted almost you as much as the muffin did. Yet he seemed friendly too… just… off. 

The longer you thought about the cafe and him, the more you wanted to return (maybe with another person) to find out more about him and his cafe… if it managed to survive past a week.

It wasn't until you were caught by the rain on your way home from work that  you found it again. Its name was still the same  but the surrounding logo of food outlines made it look much more appealing and feel much less sexual. Gone were the water droplets and now there was a few different baked goods on it. Maybe the owner was upgrading his business to get more customers.

You rushed inside and stopped at the doorway to shake off the water, shivering as the cold stuck to you and the water refused to leave. During your move your umbrella broke and although you could use it if you kept your hand up to push it open, you didn’t want to do that… especially after working a long day. It was mindless of you to not get a new umbrella. 

"Oh! Y/n-ssi! You're shaking. Here's a towel! Let me prepare some tea." The same man as last time said after popping out from the back room. You could hear him clamor around and before long you found yourself ushered to one of the cushioned chairs and wrapped up in a warm towel. 

It wasn't until he came back with a hot cup of tea that you processed what he said, another shiver running through you at the realization. 

"How did you know my name?" You asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Your credit card shows it on the chit system."

"You gave me my stuff on the house."

He froze before collapsing in the seat. across from you with a dramatic sigh, "Acting human is hard. Other succubi don't have this challenge!"

"What?"

"Oh shit. Be not afraid." He said, waving his hands around as if to try to put a spell on you.

What the fuck? 

This can’t be real!

“It’s real, Y/n-ssi.” 

…

No one else was in the cafe… you should play along. There was no telling what he might do to you if he thinks you didn’t believe him. 

"So… You're a succubus? Well I hate to break it to you, you won't get any food from me."

"Oh on the contrary. Your first visit here was delectable."

"How! I'm ace! you feed on orgasms! Omo! The name makes sense now." You said, trying to think of anything to keep him talking. 

"I'm ace too. And succubi feeds off of desire. Not orgasms."

"You're an ace succubus?" You asked, laughter rising from you at the contradiction. This man was pulling shit out of nowhere at his point. 

"Hey! I hear your thoughts," The man said as he laughed, "Just because common media shows us as sex hungry demons doesn't always mean we are. And I am telling the truth. I don’t know how I can prove that to you but I am. I won’t hurt you if you don’t believe me. You don’t have to worry about that." 

You froze. Any self aware man who--

“Knew about the struggles people have with strangers would be able to realize you’re worried about your safety?” He said, giving you a flat look.

Your mouth was hanging open as you gaped for something to think of… Were you actually talking to a demon? How was that even possible? The whole thing felt surreal but the same cafe showed up in two different spots ... he knew your name. No one else was here. He was unrealistically handsome. His food was unimaginably tasty.

"If you're trying to live like a human, you're failing."

"Care to teach me?" He asked and despite the suggestiveness of his words, when he looked up at you, you saw desperation and concern, “I only have a few more months to give this a try before they bring me back to hell and try to get me to do the usual succubi business of sex dreams and,” He shivered, “I can’t do that. I can’t go back.”

His anxiety was something you felt so viscerally. All the moments of people not believing your sexuality, questioning your jokes and actions when they didn’t fit into the stereotype of what an ace person should look like, the times people thought they could change you… you knew his pain and his anxiety. Maybe not as extreme as him if he was a succubus but you knew it. 

“Yeah. I’ll help. But I will have you know, I do not like how you went to food. I get you want to do something different than sex but… food? It’s the oldest ace stereotype in the book! ” 

He blinked slowly. 

“What?” 

“Media always portrays ace people as replacing sexual urges with food.” 

The man started laughing, slapping his knee as rolled around in the chair, “It sounds to me like they try to understand their desires by putting others through a filter of their understanding. But food is one of the next biggest desires so I am not changing it. I’ve gotten enough desire from those who’ve visited already. Only a little though. Almost not enough. And so many other desires offer much less. But you’ll help me, Y/n-ssi?” 

You sighed, “Yeah. I will… What’s your name?” 

“Ah! I almost forgot you all can’t read thoughts. It’s Seokjin. Kim Seokjin. Nice to meet you. I hope you’ll help me stay on earth with this job...” 

Seokjin groaned and threw a damp washcloth at you. Stupid demons have good aim it seemed because it hit your book, forcing it out of your hands, “I can’t believe you’re reading that.” 

You shrugged and grabbed your book, “I’ll read sex scenes if the rest of the book is good. Besides, I mostly read what they say and skim the rest.” 

“I can literally hear you reading each sentence.” He said and when you looked over at him, his ears were bright red and a frown was twisting his face. 

“Would you like me to stop reading it for now? I have some other books I can read while you can hear my thoughts.” 

He sighed and nodded, “I’d appreciate that. I can’t believe that you convinced me to buy an actual shop! Now I have to be in the shop more.” 

You laughed as Seokjin whined, “You won’t get tons if you only target people who are desperate for food! You can still give them stuff on the house but now you’ll get more people with small amounts of desire as well.” 

He groaned and threw his arms in the air like a petulant child and you were once again struck by the fact that he was a demon. A succubus. How the hell was this stuff real? How had you been roped into helping an ace succubus? It explained so much and yet so little about Seokjin. His looks, his flirty nature… but his humor? And his past? And his personality? Still so much was unknown to you and something deep in you was pushing you to learn more.

“I’m glad I’m able to still,” He twirled his hand, a beautifully decorated cake in an ornate cake display shimmering into view and telling you that it’d always been there, "I wouldn’t be able to own an actual shop if it weren’t for this.” 

That was still something you’d need to get used to. He’d materialized so much around you, made it real and with a past in your mind. The world of magic that you’d been thrown in was overwhelming. 

Whether or not Seokjin heard your inner monologue, he didn’t say, instead going about and cleaning tables. You watched from your corner seat, not yet gathering energy to open your phone and find a new book to read. 

The ding from the door pulled you to your phone as you let Seokjin tend to his client. Business in the evening was slow for him and that’s when you enjoyed coming in to rest and help him navigate the human world. The man refused to get an apartment or home despite claiming he wasn’t going to hell to sleep. Where he slept, you didn’t know and that worried you only a little more than his incessant winking when he greeted new customers. And those occasional smirks he gave you when he was feeding off of you… well you were fairly positive he was feeding off of you. 

You shivered and tried to bury yourself into your phone. 

The next time you came over, Seokjin was struggling with his taxes, screaming at a computer that has always been behind the counter and shaking his head.

“You’re scaring customers away.” You said flatly as you entered, setting your work bag down on your seat. 

“The shop is closed.” 

You didn’t even jump as the shop sign flipped over to closed and Seokjin went back to yelling about taxes and eating the rich. A laugh left you as you watched him, his veins popping as he worked up a sweat with each hit of the computer. 

“Do you want help?” 

“No. I am going to make the landlord vanish.” 

“Your contract literally had a clause that if the landlord died, his kids would get the place and they might force you out. Nothing will stop the onslaught of taxes, Seokjin.” 

He sighed, “Silly humans and their useless taxes. What even is the use of business taxes?”

“I am the last person who’d know. I don’t do taxes nor do I own a business but I am sure the internet could tell you.” 

Seokjin threw himself into the chair across from you and your heart leapt out of your throat as his chair wobbled dangerously before finally settling down. He wailed dramatically and grabbed your hands, warmth spreading from his touch as he complained about taxes more and more. 

You laughed and shook your head again, grabbing a book from your bag and settling into your seat, “Have you eaten enough desire today?” 

He sighed, “No… Especially with this frustration, I am so hungry.”

You should open your shop again then.

“Why would I when my favorite customer is here, though?” You looked up, heat rising to your cheeks as he sent you a wink.

What did this man have in store?

“Want to try the latest treat I’ve made! It’s a decadent lavender and lemon cupcake!” Seokjin was already up and about before you could say anything, his focus on making the cupcake look pretty on the plate. As he walked over, you noticed how he stuck his tongue out in focus. He was a cutie, you’ll give him that. 

Before you could even blink there was a steaming mug of tea next to the cupcake as well and he watched you expectantly as you set down your book and took a sip.

“Ohhh. A chocolate tea with this is really smart.” You said, trying to focus on the flavor and not at how excitedly he was looking at you. It made you shy and yet at this point in knowing Seokjin, you couldn’t help but be edenred at how excited he got for you to try his food. 

You tried to tell yourself that it was just for the desire he’d get from you but there was always a small voice in your mind telling you differently. Gingerly taking the cupcake, you unwrapped it and broke off the bottom half to put on top. 

Seokjin groaned, “Can you not butcher cupcakes like that again?!” 

“What! It’s a smart way to eat a cupcake and reduce mess!” 

“It’s blasphemy!”

“Shouldn’t you like it more then?” You asked, silencing Seokjin with a bite of his cupcake.

Damn it. 

Seokjin made good food. 

Begrudgingly, you gave into the wonder that was the cupcake. It wasn’t too sweet, the tart lemon cutting through the sugar and allowing the lavender to hang in the back of your mouth for longer. And the frosting? A soft and tart cream that melted on your tongue, allowing the spongy cake to be eaten smoothly and softly. 

Seokjin was smirking at you as you ate and damn it, he looked good. 

You set the cupcake down and drank more of the tea, thankful for the change in flavor. 

“It’s good.”

“I’m glad. I am feeling much better now myself.” 

You scoffed and looked away as you tried to calm down your heart. This man would be the death of you. 

Seokjin shook his head at a customer, a pout on his face as he handed over her food and drink. She didn’t seem phased though, waving bye with a smile and sitting down close to you. It wasn’t common to have people come in shortly after you arrived in the evening, the evening rush often starting closer to eight pm with students cramming for the next day. Yet here was someone who’d visited a few times before and was now fluttering her eyelashes at Seokjin as he cleaned up. 

You chuckled into your computer as you watched him shy away, glaring at the counter that he was cleaning as she watched him intently. Maybe he was embarrassed by her thoughts. That made you laugh. The man was so handsome and whenever his forehead made an appearance (instead of his common bowl cut) people seemed to flirt with him more than normal… which was to say about every customer was more friendly with him. 

Poor guy. 

Seokjin glared at you, his nostrils flaring as he dramatically went into the back room. 

The other customer deflated, turning to her food and phone as she settled in for the meal. You found yourself deflating as well, turning to focus more on your work. Normally you were good at enforcing a work-life balance but when the deadline for the project you’re heading is nearing and everyone else on your team is enforcing a healthy work-life balance, it was on you to pick up the slack. In the past, they were bad about working overtime without pay even when there wasn’t much to do so you were proud of your teammates. Truly… but the work wouldn’t complete itself. 

The next time you looked up, it was because Seokjin had placed a big sandwich, bursting with luscious vegetables and egg salad on your table. A cup of tea that had always been there also greeting you. Your heart fluttered as you thanked him and watched as he sat down with a big sigh. 

“I am so tired from standing all day, Y/n-ah! Why do people do this?” He said with a groan, rolling his feet under the table without a care for your shins he was beating. 

You shrugged, “Put a chair back there then.” 

“That’s really smart!” 

“Thank you.”

“What are you working on? I don’t normally see you with your computer out.” He asked, leaning over the table and shoving his face near your computer screen. As if he could possibly read the document upside down.

Could succubi?

“No. I am too tired to go around. Besides I don’t know what it would say upright anyways.” 

You nodded. It was always surreal when he read your thoughts but you were getting more used to it as you spent more time with him. 

“Please eat by the way.”

Is he really hungry still? It was Monday and every Monday evening he bragged about how stuffed he was because of the worker rush. 

“I know you’ve not eaten since this morning. Silly, silly, silly. Don’t overwork yourself.” He said, gently flicking your forehead. 

You didn’t know if you believed him. 

You looked over at the woman who was finishing her food… she was still here so you couldn’t change the subject to something succubus related… like how he always managed to have such a rush or how he still targeted people whose desires were strong and not in the area.

“Speak for yourself. You are open every day.” 

His brows furrowed, “Is that not normal?” 

“Are you a big corporation who goes through workers like wheat in a mill and refuses to close?” 

He pouted and you felt the urge to coo, “I’m not a big corporation who is mean to workers. Are those? I wonder who--” 

He stopped and looked at the lady eating. Were inhumane capitalist systems created in hell?

“From my understanding they’re human.” 

You sighed, “Either way. Working every day, with the hours you work isn’t common.” 

“Oh. I should close some days then. Would you want to do something with me those days?” His eyes lit up and you knew you couldn’t say no to him. 

“Sure. That’d be fun! And I can help you find some other people you can spend time with.” 

His brows furrowed once again, “But I like spending time with you. Why would I need others.” 

Damn it. 

Seokjin wasn’t good for your heart. 

“Y/n! Y/n! I found this awesome song! Cake!” Seokjin was shouting excitedly, waving around his phone as he bound towards you, blaring an overtly sexual song and blissfully unaware of the many angry people looking at him. 

“P-Please! Quiet the song!” You said, trying to take his phone as he pouted and kept it away.

CAKE! ON MY BODY! CAKE! PUT IT ON MY BODY!

“But it perfectly encapsulates my feelings about cake!” He said with a pout, wiggling around in a poor attempt to dance.

After way too long of him dancing and avoiding your grasp, you were finally able to get him to sit down and silence the song, your whole body bright with embarrassment. 

“Seokjin… you can’t play a song like that in public. Even if you feel like it fits your feelings about a food. It’s so sexual.” 

“What? How?” 

“Oh dear. How do you have your bakery named The Creamed Pie and not know what cake is?” You wanted to cry at having to explain this to a grown ass man… a succubus. 

“What about the Creamed Pie? Why are you bringing my love into this! It’s a beautiful name” 

“Oh dear.” You shook your head, “It’s a term for a… sex action.”

“O-Omo! What? I had no idea! It fits so well! And cake?” 

“Ass.” 

“What?! No wonder my friends laughed when I told them what my bakery was named and my favorite song! I know! I will change the bakery name! Double Stuffed is another name I was considering.”

You facepalmed.

“Do succubi naturally make innuendos?” 

“What?!” 

“Just keep the Creamed Pie. It’s stuck at this point.” You said with a sigh, shaking your head as you looked at Seokjin fondly. 

The man was getting so much better at blending into the human world. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think that he was human. But you knew better so you could guard your heart better. He was an immortal demon and you were a human teaching him how to act human. 

You watched as he jumped up excitedly to greet a mutual friend of yours who worked at a pet shelter. Hoseok was being pulled excitedly by a new puppy who had to stay with the vet for the night. Laughter bubbled out of you as you watched the two interact, Seokjin throwing his whole body into snuggling the dog while the two interacted. Helping him get into different communities to make friends had been beneficial to you. Sure you had a few friends from work but that was about it, the move removed you from most of your previous friends after all. Seokjin got you into shelter work, a bookclub, a gardening club full of sweet old ladies. He’d made your world better by being in it. 

How long would you be able to have Seokjin in your life before he’d have to move to keep his image up? 

Would he last ten years before people started to notice he didn’t age? 

You sighed, not wanting to get up and interact yet. 

These thoughts of Seokjin’s transience had been bogging you down more and more. Sure he could live here for a long time… but would it be enough for you? He’s someone you want in your life for… as long as you live. Ignoring the flutters that have been occurring more frequently, he’s made your life so bright and you didn’t want it to end. 

You hoped that Seokjin didn’t sense this from you. Aside from the embarrassment of these thoughts that he might hear, you imagined that your want to keep him in your life could feed him almost as much as his food.

Seokjin was looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

You shivered. 

Maybe he already knew. 

With a heavy sigh, you got up. The walk to Hoseok and Seokjin was full of trying to wipe your mind of the thoughts and the gloom. Think about puppies.

“You’re tired, Y/n. Take a nap.�� Seokjin said with a sigh, taking a now empty plate from your table. 

“Huh? I’ll be ok. I need to work on a bit more.” You said, waving him off as you continued to type away on your computer. A possible new job was opening in your work and you had to finish the application soon.

The laptop slowly closed on your hands, Seokjin’s frowning face greeting you. There was a blanket and a pillow on your table, the two plush and calling to you stronger than this application was. Was this succubus magic? 

Seokjin sighed, “You won’t get the job if you’re burnt out. Take a short nap. I’ll wake you up in thirty minutes,” He must’ve seen something in your eyes because all too soon he was crossing his arms and sitting across from you, “I will bar you from the bakery as well. The door takes people to where they most desire but I can make it so it’ll take you to where you’re dreading.”

“The door can do that?” You asked, looking at the door with a new suspicion. You guessed it made sense that the door had some magic too since he could bring people in from all over the area who were desiring food. 

“I am not changing the topic to educate you on one of the many things I’ve learned over my lifetime. Nap.” 

“I’m not even that sleepy.” You said, but as you looked back at the door, you knew that you didn’t want to risk no longer being able to see this place. With a glare and a few curses for Seokjin, you grabbed the pillow and blanket, spreading out on the couch and trying to get comfortable.

Sleep didn’t come to you easily though. Seokjin was working still and despite your mind feeling oddly quiet, you couldn’t get comfortable. It was all made worse when Seokjin came over and adjusted the blanket, his hand removing hair from your face gingerly. He sighed what felt like a thousand unspoken words before finally going back to work. 

But the ghost of his kindness didn’t leave you. Not the rest of that day. Not during your time at the pet shelter. Not at work. Not during book club. 

You shouldn’t be so flustered by a friend’s action. You’d probably do something similar if his hair was in his eyes. It was just a caring thing to do.

Plus, the two of you talk about being ace all the time… but not romance. He still turns down every flirty customer… he could be aeromantic. Or not interested in humans. If you were an all powerful and eternal demon, you don’t think humans would appeal to you. 

His touch haunted you as you watched as Jimin collapsed into Seokjin with laughter, Hoseok and Namjoon clinging to him at some joke that they’d told. It was barely even funny (if only you’d been listening). Physical touch has always been something you felt neutral about or blatantly shied away from and generally it didn’t affect you when others were able to so freely be physically affectionate. It was a ghost of a barrier keeping you minimally stimulated that you rarely ever overcame and no one else seemed to try to broach. There were some family members and childhood friends who you hugged or snuggled, but touch had never been something that you wanted or needed. Bodies were warm and quick to getting damp. You cringed at how Seokjin was attacked with affection and yet another part of you longed for that kind of affection from Seokjin. 

To hug. To be caught by him. To be able to lean on him. To hold hands. 

Jimin, Hoseok, and Namjoon never had a challenge with it. 

Seokjin accepted it willingly… but you struggled to broach that. 

Speak of the demon… Seokjin looked over at you, welcoming you closer on the picnic mat, his hands pointing to some cold fruits that had always been part of the picnic. 

You leaned over and grabbed something to munch on with a smile, Jimin launching on you with his next roll of laughter. A cringe rolled through you but you didn’t push him off, his heaving chest tickling you into laughing as well. 

The guys had been swapping strange customer stories for the past hour. It had urged them up the mountain they hiked and been the background noise of the picnic setup. Despite not working at a customer service facing job, you enjoyed the stories and how they reacted. Like Jimin had someone who wanted white black eyed susans in their bouquet… which didn’t exist. They meant daisies… but they refused to believe they weren’t black eyed susans. It didn’t take Jimin too long to convince them that white black eyed susans were super rare and upcharge the poor person on the common flower.  

“You’re so devious!” Seokjin said, quieting his laughter with some of the fruit and watching as others around started to eat. 

“Nuh uh! The dude was being really rude and I tried to explain it to him for over fifteen minutes. If he wants to think he got something special, let him. He came in wanting to spend more than he needed to anyways.” Jimin said with a hum.

Namjoon shrugged, “Here’s hoping he doesn’t find out ever. Hyung, this fruit is so good! Probably the best I’ve ever had.” 

“Thank you!” Seokjin said, smiling broadly and winking at you. 

Jimin giggled and gave you a look and you tried to shake it off. Seokjin winked often and this was about your little inside secret. They didn’t know he was a succubus or that he was feeding off of them as they are this fruit… or that he’ll live forever and eventually leave everyone here behind. 

Seokjin looked into the woods around everyone as Hoseok took control of the conversation. He was talking about a tragic vet case he worked recently… which was as sad as your thoughts were.

“Why do you keep thinking about me leaving?” Seokjin asked as everyone started hiking back to the parking lot. He’d fallen behind with you and was speaking quietly as if he was worried about others hearing. 

Probably because this got to his demonic ways… which they didn’t know. 

You shrugged, “You can’t stay here forever. You’re immortal. Sooner or later people will realize that you’ve not aged a day and to keep eating desire you'll need to move. I’ve seen movies and read books about this.”

“You’re acting nonchalant but I can tell how much it’s hurting you. You’ve grown so distant.” 

The trail was getting smaller and to continue talking and walking next to each other, your shoulders bumped together repeatedly. His warmth was welcome. 

“I like you in my life.”

“And I’m in your life right now.” 

“But for how long?” You asked, looking over at him with a glare. 

“I don’t know. It’s not like I can’t figure out how to stay with you forever.”

“Seokjin. I don’t live forever. You do.” 

“I don’t have to.” He said, untold words swimming in his eyes at that. 

Before you could continue though, the parking lot came into view and Jimin was urging Seokjin into his car. You were once again alone with too many thoughts bogging you down.

Damn it, Seokjin. 

You watched the back door swing open, two people sauntering into the bakery who you’d never seen before. Seokjin hadn’t talked about hiring people to work here and that was something the two of you talked about often. One of them made their way over to you, tattoos on full display as he dusted off his jacket and gave you a once over. 

“Come here often?” He asked in the worst pickup line ever. It took physical strength not to cringe and turn back to your book. 

“No.” 

“That’s good to know. Want to come over to my place after?” 

“Jungkook! What in the world are you doing?” Seokjin’s loud voice made the man, Jungkook, stand on edge. His eyes were wide and face pale. 

“That is no way to talk to…” He looked over at you before looking at Seokjin again, the two entering a staring contest that could rival battles. 

Was Jungkook a succubi? 

You looked over at the other man, tall and lanky but dressed to the nines. They practically walked out of romantic dramas. Why were demons so bad at blending into the human world? 

The other man started laughing wildly, Jungkook and Seokjin whipping around to looking at him, “S-Sorry. This human… they have such hilarious thoughts! I can’t tell if they’re insults or not.” 

“Yes. When I first moved in they had a lot of comments about my shop’s name. Still can’t quite tell if they were meant to be positive or negative.” Seokjin said, not even sparing you a glance as he sized up the other demon. 

“They were negative.” You said and immediately regretted it as Jungkook whirled on you once again sizing you up and giving you one of the worst smolders you’d ever seen in your life. What a disgrace to Flynn Rider.

“Hey! I will have you know that my shoulders are amazing! Wait-- Why aren’t you affected by it?” The poor man looked so confused and sad that you weren’t falling at his feet.

Seokjin coughed and Jungkook and the other demon’s attention was brought to you once again, “What are you two doing here?” 

“We wanted to visit you. Especially with the current whispers we’ve heard down below.” The other man said, sitting down in a chair by you and taking a sip of tea that had always been there, waiting for him. 

“I wanted to try your food! I’ve heard it’s really good!” Jungkook said, “And Taehyung said that we should have a serious chat with you about giving up immortality.” 

Taehyung slapped Jungkook’s arm and shot you a look. 

Your eyes shot up as thoughts started rapid firing in your mind. Why would Seokjin give up immortality? 

“Y/n, I think you should leave for now.” Seokjin said, not taking his eyes off of Taehyung and Jungkook.

“But they seem like fun! Don’t you want to have fun, Y/n?” Jungkook asked, sending you a wink.

A growl tore you from Jungkook’s gaze, quickly making you pack up your things, “Seokjin’s right. I should get going. Good luck with the conversation, buddy.” You said, not wanting to give space for anyone to speak as you raced out of the cafe. 

To your shock, exiting the cafe led right to your apartment door. How in the world did that happen? 

The next time you saw Seokjin, he looked sickly and tired and was moving around the shop with half the energy and excitement that he normally had. He still tried to put on a smile for customers who came in and any time you opened your mouth to say something he glared at you. He wasn’t wanting you to bring up what was happening to him but you worried nonetheless.

Do demons get sick? 

Is it possible for him to not be getting enough desire? 

If so… you wished you could give him all your desire. Anything to keep him healthy and here with you. 

Seokjin was so tired that he sat down at multiple points. It was during one time when he was resting his head against a table that you got up, determined to help him somehow. You moved behind the counter and started to make him a cup of tea. 

Except… this man didn’t have any mugs. 

You sighed and next thing you knew, a mug was greeting you. It had always been there. Looking up, you saw Seokjin looking at you from the table, his head turned to rest and watch what you did. He winked but didn’t do much else. Quickly you made the tea and grabbed one of the display sweets. It wasn’t much and Seokjin likely had something similar all the time but it was the most you could do without talking about whatever was going on. Before bringing the stuff to him, you went to the door and flipped the sign to closed. Seokjin wasn’t in a place to serve people right now. 

You sat across from him, cringing as he struggled to get up and slowly sipped his tea. The cafe was filled with the sounds of him slowly eating and drinking, the man a loud slurper and chewer. Probably his one flaw.

“Hey! I am flawless!” He shouted, crumbs flying across the table.

“I don’t know about that.” You said, “Noisy eaters can be a big deal for some people. Can trigger main receptors in some!” 

He scoffed, “Well not you.” 

You shrugged, “No. But I don’t like it much still.” 

He huffed but started to eat with less noise, “I will not change my slurping. It’s how you aerate the hot drink and cool it down. I don’t want to burn my tongue.” 

“Didn’t know demons could.” 

Seokjin stayed silent at that. 

What did Jungkook and Taehyung talk about? What was happening to Seokjin? 

He glared at you. 

Puppies. Think about puppies. 

“You think about puppies a lot. Do I remind you of them?” He asked, his cheeks filled with food and eyes playful. 

“Hmmm. I think you remind me more of chipmunks or hamsters. But I like puppies! They’re cute.” You said with a laugh, half wanting to grab your phone and show him some pictures or videos of puppies. 

“What about chipmunks and hamsters? No love for them? They live a short time, is that why?” 

“I like them.” 

“Yeah?” 

You nodded, “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to see them when I do. Their life span isn’t a worry either. They might only be around for a short period of my life, but their owners… and I when I see them, love them for their whole life. Their life is full of love. Should be.” 

Seokjin looked at his tea and nodded.

“You should make your way home early tonight,” Seokjin started, “I think it’s going to rain soon.” 

His eyes were watery when you finally left. 

Hoseok and Jimin could tell there was something up with Seokjin… they’d planned a small gathering and while Seokjin didn’t say anything, with only four people there, the tension was palpable. They were carrying the conversation and your worry for Seokjin only allowed for you to add in every once in a while. The chatter of the bar that you’d gathered at was practically screaming into your conversations. When he excused himself for the bathroom but left through the front, you followed.

“Seokjin. Are you ok?” 

He jumped, his hands rising up to his face as he whirled on you, eyes wide, “Why are you out here? You should be inside having fun.”

Shaking your head, you came closer, “I wasn’t having fun before. It’s no fun when I’m worried about you. What’s up? I’m here for you.”

“The lights are up.” He said, his back hitting the wall as he sank to his knees.” 

You grimaced. You’ll tell him about not touching the outdoor walls of buildings, especially bars, “I love your comedy but now isn’t the time. I want to help you. Do you need food? I can… I can give you desire.” 

“Bars are rife with desire… I don’t,” he sighed and shook his head, “I’m feeding fine. It’s… this change is taking so much out of me. I’m exhausted. Change is hard.” 

“This chan-” His immortality.

Seokjin didn’t look at you but you felt tears well up as he started talking more, “Jungkook and Taehyung told me the risks… and I still decided that…” 

You grabbed his hand, your heart in your throat, “What are the risks, Seokjin?”

He squeezed your hand, pulling you down to squat next to him and despite the fact that your shirt likely had piss on it now, you wanted to be closer. The warmth of his hand and heat from his shoulder wasn’t enough. You didn’t move and he didn’t speak. 

The hustle and bustle of the bar filled the tension like air to a black void and like a black void, nothing satiated the tension. 

“I don’t know how long I have left on earth.” 

“Do you have to return to hell?” 

He shook his head.

“Fuck. Seokjin, what will happen?”

“If I’m not strong enough to not live with immortality?” He sighed and leaned his head on your shoulder but you couldn’t find any comfort in his warmth, “I guess my life will be like a hamster. Short but full of your love.” 

Tears were fighting their way out of your tear ducts, “S-Seokjin. Wh… Don’t…” 

“Would you run The Creamed Pie when I’m gone.” 

You scoffed, tears getting into your mouth, “Aside from the fact that I have a job and hate the name--” 

“It’s grown on you.” 

“I’m not done, idiot.  You’re talking like you won’t make it. Don’t talk like that.” 

“Well… it’s--”

“There you two are!” Hoseok shouted, his eyes not yet adjusted to being out of the bar, “Get off of that piss stained wall and come back inside!” 

Seokjin’s cafe disappeared. 

It’s been weeks since you, Hoseok, or Jimin have seen him. 

You had to take days off when you realized what had likely happened. 

Damn it, Seokjin.

He didn’t even say goodbye. 

You’d been crying your eyes out for hours at the realization. He was gone. You’d never see him again. The light that he brought into your life was gone. You were alone in your isolation, your heart breaking loudly in the silence of your apartment. 

On day three of your crying, you got a knock at your door. Probably your neighbor wanting to complain about the noise again. Stealing up your energy, you hobbled over and prepared for her to berate you. 

You looked through the peephole. 

Seokjin. 

For a second you had the strong image of opening the door and closing it on his face. But you were frozen, unable to move as a thousand thoughts rushed through your mind all too fast and jumbled to even process.

He was alive. 

“I know you’re there. I can hear your thoughts. Please open up.” He shouted, knocking on the door once again. 

You couldn’t face him though. He… you’d been grieving him. The loss of a friend and someone you loved. How could you just… 

“Please? I missed you.” 

If you weren’t dehydrated, you’d be crying. 

“Don’t cry! Please let me in? I have so much to tell you.” 

“LET THE DAMN MAN IN! I AM TRYING TO NAP.” A neighbor shouted and you finally found yourself moving, opening the door with shaky hands. 

A warm embrace was wrapping around you before you knew it. Seokjin’s soft arms and firm hug holding you up as you lost your strength once again. He was cooing for you, rubbing your hair. For once, physical touch felt like a wash of warmth. Slightly too warm, yes, but it was filling a deep crave in your body that had never been there before Seokjin. 

He practically carried you to your living space and set you down on the couch before going off to the kitchen to get something. 

“No wonder you came to the cafe so much. This kitchen is really underdeveloped.” He said as he clattered around, opening cabinets and drawers. 

You watched, open mouthed as your brain tried to process the man who was in front of you. He was glowing more than you think he had before, more youthful and handsome than he was before if that was even possible. There was a slowness to his actions that you didn’t remember being there before but that could have also been your shock of seeing him again. 

“You’re here.” You finally manage to say when he sets a cup of water down in front of you. 

“I’m here. Mortal.” 

“Mortal.” 

“Yeah. I… I didn’t say this before,” He started, grabbing one of your hands and forcing the water into it before grabbing your other hand, “I… I couldn’t stay immortal. Not… I can’t see my life without you.” 

“So you risked me not having you in my life? Seokjin, I grieved for you like you were dead. I-” Your voice gave out and you saw tears bud in Seokjin’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“How could you!” You gripped his hand tight, shaking it as you heaved, no tears coming, “I grieved for you! Seokjin I- I loved you and I lost you.”

“I’m back! And I will never leave you. I love you too.” 

You shook your head, “I grieved for you, Seokjin. I need time. I can’t. I can’t disregard my upset because you’re back.” 

He nodded, “I understand. I’ll be at the cafe when you’re ready. Is… is there anything I can do to help you right now?” 

“Get out.” 

A week later, full of Hoseok and Jimin pestering you, you walked into The Creamed Pie. You didn’t need a phone to direct you where to go after visiting it for so long but you didn’t even need to take ten steps to get there. Its door right outside your apartment, where it had been for the whole week. The fresh smell of baked bread hit your nose before the warm hug of Seokjin.

“I missed you so much.”

He was ushering you inside with a bright smile, the closed sign flipping over as the two of you sat down. Seokjin refused to leave you, tea and a sandwich appearing on your table. They’d always been there and you savored each bite. Their wonder was miniscule in comparison to being next to Seokjin again.

“Thank you.” 

“For?”

“Returning to me.” 

You grabbed his hand, bringing it over your shoulder as you leaned into him, “The cafe was always with me.”

#wkcnet #bts fanfic #bts fan fic #bts fan fiction #bts fanfiction #bts angst #bts fluff #bts comedy #bts supernatural au #bts succubus #bts demon au #bts seokjin #bts jin #seokjin bts #jin bts #seokjin x reader #bts seokjin x reader #bts jin x reader #jin x reader #bts jin angst #bts jin fluff #bts jin comedy #bts seokjin angst #bts seokjin fluff #bts seokjin comedy #aceseuxals ftw because i said so

[graylinesspam]

When having discussions about MY OWN Asexuality these are some graphics and anectdotes that have made it easier for me to explain it to them.

Since I have had so many curious people on my Ace poll, I'm gonna give it a shot and complie it together in a post.

Firstly, the basic deffinition of Asexuality:

As stated in the graphic, libido, or a hormonal urge for sex is not the same thing as an attraction to another person. In basic terms being horny does not equal having a want to have sex with another person.

I'd like to acknowledge that there is more to the Ace spectrum than just flat ace before I make my next point, so here's my favorite graphic.

These are just three of the many sub-identities on the ace spectrum with some basic definitions but they get the point across about differing levels of the lack of sexual attraction.

Because sex can look different to a lot of asexuals. There are plenty of asexuals that despite missing the initial spark of attraction that mighty motivates an allosexual person, don't mind or even enjoy having sex, for the romantic intimacy with a partner or even just for the endorphin release.

But there are many more asexuals that have a more complicated relationship with sex that can intersect with other aspects of their life like their personal relationships (see demi), their past traumas, their romantic orientation, or their sexual kinks.

One of the basic struggles of Asexuality is determining what qualifies as "sexual attraction"

When you rarely or never experience sexual attraction it may be hard to distinguish between different attractions.

Anecdotally, I base my concept of someone being sexually attractive on my Aesthetic and Sensual attraction. I do this for a shorthand to relate to other people in my life who experience sexual attraction. Partly because I find the concept of sex fascinating to discuss and partially because I love collecting my little group of fictional characters that I project my sexuality onto. I choose them based on whether I enjoy looking at them (which trust me, does not adhere to societal beauty standards) and whether I think being physically close to them (sensually) might be pleasant.

I say this because I think it is a common experience for Asexual people. I am honestly astonished that my poll had such an even distribution of answers. It was really just for fun and not a well-thought-out series of answers. Most people noted that multiple of the answers suited them. But the most common comments I got on that poll were that interms of fiction or media of some kind, they were sex positive. But when it came to any reality where they themselves would engage in sex, that was an entirely different answer.

Well, here's my personal reflections on that same concept within myself that others may or may not relate to.

When I was still in the process of figuring out my own Asexuality, I was confused by the concept of having an extremely high libido and a collection of fictional crushes, but no irl attraction.

At the time I was also heavily into dissecting other social tangles such as the way that men view women through their own societal lens of sexuality. And the biggest argument at the time was "If you only find big boob, flawless skin, totally obedient hentai women sexually attractive, then you're probably not actually into women. Because none of the real ones look like that." Which is true.

This made me think about why I found specifically onky fictional people attractive. Which boiled down to a set of ideals that I could never expect a real person to live up to. If the only way I can even consider being sexually attracted to a person is with them following a humanly impossible set of ideals, then I'm probably just not actually attracted to anyone.

And that's fine. It sounded scary at first. But I grew used to it.

When you take the attraction factor out of sex many people will lose interest entirely. Sex can be a really complicated and messy buissness. There's so many factors you have to consider like, location, time, partner, physical discomfort, physical and emotional vulnerability, body fluids, contraception, std testing, and a plethora of other things that can be really overwhealming even if you are really motivated to have sex. If you arent? Many people don't see a point in it.

But some do and having sexual experiences and even enjoying them doesn't make you any less asexual. There are whole kink groups that are ran and populated by asexual people because kinks gives a structure to the otherwise chaotic buisness of sex and makes it more appealing to them. On top of that kinks can be arousing reguardless of your sexual orrientation and may make it easier to engage in sex.

I'd like to add, for my own peace of mind, that asexuality can feel very isolating. Many people want a partner that finds them sexualy appealing. And that's understandable. But try not to think of your sexuality as limiting. Because asexuality can open so many doors in the queer community that you may not have considered yet.

Being Asexual means you don't have attraction to any gender, meaning that you may be open to dating or having a QPR with others regardless of their gender.

Sex repulsed? You certainly may be able to meet the needs of another asexual person especially if they are sex repulsed too. Having the pressure of sex removed from a relationship can be so relieving.

Asexual people also occupy a space outside of the societal norms of what is considered sexually appealing. And may often completely disagree with general society about what they find attractive. There's a lot of ace people I know personally that are with their partners purely for domestic compatibility and not for appearances at all. This may actually lead to stronger relationships. Even though the process of vetting others looks a bit sterile or like a buisness deal, it's more effective in finding somone you genuinly like and agree with. Someone you can spend forever with.

It also opens doors to people of all types of physicalities.

These are really just anecdotes, but I feel there's so much us ace get put down for. I'd like to lift the community up for once.

Final thoughts on the matter (unless I am asked to elaborate) are that Asexuality is a hugely varied expirience. It affects people in many different ways. And it can be really confusing to figure out. But the point of the poll I made was to point out how many ace people there are just in my orbit on Tumblr. We are not alone. There are so many more of us than you might think. Thousands. And I for one am so excited about that.

(I didn't credit the graphics bc i've had them saved for years and honestly fon't remember where they came from.)

#asexuality #asexual #aspec #aspectrum #queer stuff #queer community #lgbtq community #lgbt

[strawberrys-starship]

Ok so, I'm gonna warn you straight out the gate that this whole post is about a/b/o and the omegaverse, so if you don't like that scroll on 👍🏻

But basically I got thinking about how the omegaverse might add a whole new layer to queer identities and then I wrote all this! If you have something you'd like to add or comment on then feel free

(This also mentions sex and sexuality so beware I suppose)

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So I'm reading an a/b/o fic, as one does, and it got me thinking about how the a/b/o dynamic would affect the real world

So in this fic, basically as soon as the main pairing realized that they were an alpha and an omega, they like immediately start fucking. Like I'm not even joking they barely get into a private room and everything

And I was reading it and asking myself how realistic this would be if the omegaverse actually existed

And like, I know, its absolutely pointless to question the realism of a/b/o, because realism is not why it exists in the slightest, but it got me thinking anyway

So I very quickly came to the conclusion that no, obviously if the omegaverse existed not every single compatible omega and alpha would just immediately fuck eachother, just like how not every single compatible man and woman immediately fuck eachother

And then that got me thinking about how omegaverse sexuality works, just like, in general

Because from what I've seen and personally choose to believe, the omegaverse is kinda just an extra gender binary, right? Like it has a biological component, but also there's a larger social one on top of it. So is the omegaverse basically a new layer in the whole gender/sexuality cake? Are there specific labels for which a/b/o gender you're attracted to or identify as? Or is your secondary gender strictly a biological thing that doesn't branch into gender and sexuality?

What about ace people? How are they affected by it? What happens when a sex repulsed ace omega goes into heat? Does it give them a sex drive, or just make them run a high fever and nothing else? And the same things with ace alphas, do they just get a lot of morning wood and nothing else?

How do aro people navigate all this? Personally I like to think that the mating bites aren't inherently romantic or even sexual (and also don't have to be given during heats or ruts) so I imagine there's quite a lot of platonic bonds between people, like how some real aro people get married without any romantic intentions behind it. I imagine it's hard to navigate the world as an allosexual aro person too, seeing as in most cases, mating bites are seen as like, the ultimate goal when spending your heat or rut with someone, so trying to find safe avenues to actually deal with heats and ruts must be extremely difficult.

Rounding back to the whole labels thing, I'm wondering how specific they'd be, y'know? Like say you're a cis man, and also an omega, and you're only attracted to other omega men, how limiting or feasible is that as a concept? How many other omega men are also attracted to omega men, is it looked down upon? Does it even matter in this specific omegaverse society?

What about gender? Are there people who are say, a cis woman but a trans alpha? What about betas, are they the a/b/o equivalent of a nonbinary person? Personally I like to think of betas as basically the a/b/o intersex label (not an idea originally created by me, I'll say here) where they can show traits from both alphas and omegas in varying levels of intensity (which means that they often falsely present as one or the other, and usually that person doesn't know they're a beta till they get a medical examination or something similar)

But if that is the case and betas are just omegaverse intersex, then can there be trans betas? Obviously in real life, intersex is a medical thing not a gender identity and therefore you can't transition to become intersex, but we're working in the lawless land of omegaverse so who knows what's going on.

I think for my personal omegaverse headcanon, betas are intersex people and you can't transition to be a beta

Circling back again, what about the a/b/o equivalent of non binary and gender queer identities? Are there people who just don't identify or fall into the boxes of 'alpha' and 'omega' as gender identities? What would this be like for them? What would transitioning look like?

And again, this is all said in the assumption that the real life gender binary still exists, so could you be a cis person but be basically omegaverse nonbinary too? What would social transition look like? Because all the social hierarchy I've ever seen for a/b/o is based off of being able to smell someone's scent, right? So would a a/b/o nonbinary persons (I'm gonna start calling them gammas so I don't have to type that all out) goal if they decide to medically transition to be to get their scent as neutral as possible?

Would there be any social transition for a gamma person at all? Beyond how someone might be treated for their secondary gender, there's not a whole lot of so called 'gendered' language when it comes to a/b/o. Someone might refer to you by your secondary gender, but there's no pronouns or gendered names and terms related to it. So would you just be occasionally correcting people when they refer to you as an alpha or omega?

Also, what would just a general transition between one secondary gender to another look like? Like say you're an alpha who experiences gender dysphoria related to your secondary gender strong enough that you decide you want to take medical steps to change it. What would change with just hormones, what would need surgery? I imagine that your scent as well as scent glands would all change with hormones, but what about an alphas knot? Would you stop being able to knot once you started hormones, or not?

This also has the problem of an alphas and omegas general anatomy changing based on their biological sex too. Like, would a cis woman who was born an alpha but then later realized she was actually an omega need surgery to remove any alpha parts? (I still haven't decided what exactly a female alpha would have tbh)

How does all of this change if your just a regular trans person too? What would being a trans man who's also a trans omega look like and be like?

So many questions, so little time...

Ok, I think that's enough of pondering the orb for me...

#omegaverse #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o #queer #gay #bisexual #transgender #nonbinary #lesbian #ponderings #asexual #aromantic

[greyfacade]

To the Asexual and Aromantic Community,

Can we please stop shaming or gatekeeping people for creating or liking romantic or sexual media.

Telling people they are not allowed to like romance/sex is no better than when allosexual people say we do have to like it. Same goes for making fun of them for it.

Its totally fine if YOU don’t like romance/sex, but you have no right to shame and control others because they do like it.

It especially sucks because your shaming people in your own community. Not all aromantic and/or asexual people are sex/romance repulsed. We are not gross or wrong because we enjoy it. So please consider other people before you make jokes or rude comments about other people’s lives and preferences.

Kind Regards,

A Greyasexual/Greyaromantic person.

PS. The block and blacklist options are always available. Consider those before shaming someone else.

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #fandom

[justanotherhh]

tbf striker has been confirmed To Fuck so in his case it's def just him seething that no-one is going along with his gritty semi-realistic cowboy roleplay

yeah, I can see that + I'm all about the fucked up power thing going on with Striker's obsession with Blitzø, where he wants Blitzø to be like him and understand him and respect him and maybe be a horse sometimes idk and Blitzø keeps denying him the pleasure of being equals (contrasted with Fizz who just seems to disgust Striker... although maybe we've hit the event horizon, now Blitzø has blown him up... we'll see.... wanting to just hurt/punish Blitzø is also great-as-dynamic)

I do think though that on the show proper (so not word of god or outside promo) there's a fascinating distinction between Striker's opinion of himself -- that is, that he IS sexy and talented and has a big dick -- and how much he'll allow other people to get into his space. Yes, there's the "stop ruining this for me!!!" thing when Moxxie, Stolas, and Fizz (although... not Blitzø? at least not enough to warrant a comment... but that may be because Blitzø's big kink fantasy is horseplay, which fits very nicely with what Striker's all about) turn a violent moment into a "sex thing," but there's also little things like kicking away the fan who's trying to get at him in Sweet Victory, or being really annoyed by the theme tune singers, like Yes he's Sexy, but can people please just stay the fuck out of his way and let him do his Job DAMMIT

this more headcanon territory than Alastor, but I do imagine him as aspec, probably along the lines of autosexual, with a dash of powerplay and cowboy roleplay that can lean into the sexual but Only if all the other right pieces are in play first!

but also there's an interesting Aspec Meta Thing in Hazbin/Helluva that's added when you have all the sex jokes and clearly allosexual characters (although, one can always HC aspecness), and then there's a character there that on some level Does Not Like It and/or avoids it -- so far Alastor and Striker. it opens up a line of thinking about the pervasiveness of sex and boundaries that I will immediately go ooh keep talkin' at

this meaning that while Striker may not be canonically aspec, he does add an aspec dimension to the narrative, because people keep getting into his fucking space with all that sex stuff and he wishes they'd fucking stop

so yes, he wants to break Blitzø like a horse. yes, that's kind of hot. don't even make it weird, don't even- *Striker yelling at his Blitzø-poster while drunk!* (how does he have it? did he steal one of Blitzø's own stick-drawings of himself?)

not-so-subtly pushing my "fucked up Striker/Blitzø" agenda with all of this, I'm noticing (it's gotta be fucked up though for it to work for me. has to be)

#helluva boss #helluva striker #blitzø #blitz #blitzo #hb meta #anon #eyy first ask #striker/blitz #blitzer #strikeblitz #whats the shipname here?