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rd0265667 · 1 year

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Kazuha X Reader: If there was an afterlife

TW!: Dead Reader, Suicide

A/N: There will be stuff in chinese at the end since I kinda based this off a quote that you guys will see later, so I know it's not true in real life, but for this story, let's assume Kazuha knows Chinese

Kazuha walked out from her room, stretching as she yawned. She was still stuck in her half asleep stupor, walking mindlessly towards her members at the dining table as Sakura was handing out breakfast, Eunchae and Yunjin heading to the TV.

As she mindlessly listened to Chaewon and Sakura discussing some of their usual shenanigans, suddenly, something on the TV caught her attention.

"Eunchae-ah, could you change the channel back again?" Kazuha asked, moving towards the TV hastily, Eunchae a little confused at the question but doing as she was told

On the TV, a solemn looking news reporter and a picture of a person Kazuha had not seen in a long time

"We are saddened to announce that Celebrity Y/N L/N, known for the 2025 film "Espionage" has sadly passed. Sources reporting that after a long battle against depression and anxiety, they committed suicide."

All eyes in the room fell to Kazuha, who sat stunned, staring at the TV

Whispers and murmurs filled the room, slowly suffocating Kazuha, who ran to her room, slamming it shut behind her.

"Is she going to be okay?" Yunjin looked worriedly, glancing at Chaewon to see what could be done.

"Just give her some space for now girls. I think we all know what Y/N meant to Kazuha" Chaewon whispered, as the girls nodded in agreement, all feeling a little distraught at the news too. In a way, they felt they were indebted to you.

Kazuha curled into a ball in the corner in her shared room with Sakura. Were you really gone? Just like that? As she buried her head into her arms, there was a timid knock on the door, and a voice Kazuha recognised to be Sakura's rang out

"Zuha, there's someone here for you"

Without an answer, Sakura quickly opened the door, fearing something had happened to Kazuha, only calming down when she saw Kazuha.

Beside Sakura was an older, maybe middle aged man, someone Kazuha didn't recognise

As Sakura beckoned Kazuha to step out, Kazuha obliged, dragging her feet as she sat at the table, opposite to the middle aged man.

"Good Afternoon, Miss Nakamura. My name is Pak Hyun Shik. I'm the executor of Y/N L/N's will. I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm here with you to handle an affair. Y/N has granted you 25% of their properties to give it to a charity of your choice, also, this." He slowly set an object on the table

"I understand Mr Pak. I will get back to you soon." Kazuha bowed, grabbing the object and quickly scurrying to her room, setting the object on her bed

On Kazuha's bed laid a box all too familiar to the idol, for it was hers, a long time ago.

A beautiful maroon blue box, designed like an ancient chest rested on the idol's bed, as she reached forward, tracing the ornate design on the box, slowly opening it to see 7 items, 6 familiar to her, one she wished was not, as well as a scroll above them.

Kazuha chuckled softly to herself, you always loved these fancy scrolls, it made you feel royal, you always claimed.

Taking a deep breath, Kazuha undid the bow over the scroll, unravelling it to reveal a letter.

我最爱的和羽：

如果你正在读这封信，那就意味着我已经选择了去胆小鬼的出路了。很抱歉，我现在要向您发送这些东西，我知道这可能是垃圾，您甚至都不记得了。

My Dear Zuha:

If you're reading this letter, it means that I've taken the coward's way out. I'm sorry that I'm sending you these things now, I understand it's probably junk that you don't even remember anymore.

"Wrong" Kazuha thought to herself, the things in the chest were things she still had vivid memories of.

The Test Paper.

Kazuha slowly pulled out a dusty exam paper, a Chinese test that she still recalled taking. her tidy handwriting and a 100% score adorning the top right hand of her paper still made her feel a little proud.

Kazuha was always horrible at Chinese. She wondered why she took the damn language as her third language in the first place when she already was fluent in English aside from Japanese and Dutch. But she didn't really have a choice, groaning as she repeatedly banged her head on the table, her materials not free from the full frontal assault. Suddenly, she felt her forehead collide, not with cold metal, but a warm hand. Looking up in shock, she turned to see your concerned face looking at her, confused. "Are you okay?" You asked, as Kazuha turned her head in confusion, muttering some nonsense about looking like an idiot. "May I?" You asked, giggling as you gestured to the chair opposite Kazuha. She quickly nodded, as you took the seat opposite her. "So, what troubles you?" Kazuha groaned and passed you the document in her hand. You looked it and stifled a chuckle, Kazuha puffing her cheeks up in mild displeasure at your reaction, before shooting you one of her "judgemental face", though she claims it's just her normal face "Don't be offended, I'm not looking down on your score, I'm just laughing because I've found another fool who chose to take Chinese as their third language. I got lucky since my mom's Chinese, guess you don't have that fortune do you?" Kazuha shook her head in despair, before crashing her head onto her hand again.

"Tell you what, how about I tutor you? I've been told I'm a great tutor." You offered, as Kazuha looked at you in disbelief. "You would do that?" You quickly nodded, as Kazuha quickly turned to skepticism "Why are you doing this? Are you usually this nice to everyone?" She asked, to which you only shot back a goofy grin. "Nope, only to pretty girls." Kazuha couldn't help but blush, looking downward to hide her rosy cheeks, mumbling "flirt" under her breath Regardless, she took you up on your offer, and thus began a friendship that would not last too long. Every week, before class started, you two would meet up, studying and hanging out, and as time went by, Kazuha found her chinese improving, and her feelings growing.

One of those days, Kazuha could recall you being extra nervous, something that didn't escape her notice. A little prying from her revealed that you intended to ask her out on a date, to which she replied snarkily, "If I can ace a test, which I can promise you won't happen, sure!" She would soon eat her words, as you hosted a day long intensive revision session that somehow, someway, got Kazuha full marks on her test.

The look on your face when Kazuha handed you her paper, priceless. She still remembered it to this day. "Guess I owe you a date. Don't disappoint me and there may be more." She said teasingly, before leaving you in a state of shock

The Movie Tickets.

Kazuha pulled out two ticket stubs from the box, the afternoon showing for "Infinity War" at the theatre near where the two of you used to study. She never understood the hype around those silly Marvel Movies, but you insisted that it would be a good film to watch, even for someone who had never watched any of the Marvel movies before. She was inclined to agree, though the company was better than the film

Kazuha stood outside the movie theatre, holding two tubs of popcorn and a drink, looking around impatiently for you, who had disappeared a minute ago to locate a toilet. As quickly as you disappeared, you reappeared and relieved Kazuha of the popcorn in her hand, entering the theatre together with her as the two of you hurriedly found your seats in the darkness. As the movie went on, despite not knowing any of the characters, Kazuha found herself tensing up whenever any of the main characters were in danger, squirming in her seat, before she found an effective way to curb the nervousness. As the Red Robot with a glowing stone in his head got impaled through the back, Kazuha jumped in her seat, her right hand moving out and finding it's unintended location. Your left hand. Drawing your attention away from the movie, you looked at Kazuha, who was trying to nonchalantly act like nothing happened, and you smiled, lightly squeezing her hand in reassurance, an action that did not go unappreciated, as the light of red witch's magic illuminated Kazuha's beautiful smile.

As the movie went on, you suddenly heard a light shuffle toward your left, as Kazuha lifted the arm rest back, instead opting to move closer to you, leaning her head slightly in front your shoulder, an action you reciprocated by putting your arm around her shoulder and pulling her close, feeling her get comfortable against you.

The movie went on as the two of you held each other, Kazuha still remembers how you had to comfort her because the insect guy turned to dust. After the movie, Kazuha took you by the hand, an action she had previously deemed, only for people in serious relationships. You two never really said anything, but this was the end of your friendship, and the beginning of your relationship.

The Membership card

Kazuha pulled out a small card from the box, a faint inscription on it showing a laundromat. Your parent's laundromat, that is. Your parents ran a small laundromat, nothing too big or fancy, but good enough to help them live comfortably and get a child through the education system.

Kazuha still recalls how weird she initially found it when you handed her a membership card to your parent's laundromat card. Kazuha would hang out with you there, helping out when necessary, but mostly the two of you would be seating around, just chatting and joking around, regulars at the laundromat calling you two a lovey dovey couple, an allegation you wore like a bag of honour while Kazuha loved it, but was still shy about it. There was once when your parents were away for a gathering with some old friends, leaving the running of the laundromat to both you and Kazuha. Surprisingly, the two of you were efficient and great at it, you even joked that if both your dreams failed, the two of you could run the laundromat together (You guys can kinda see where this one is going can't you)

The Letters

From the box, emerged another, this one sloppier and less intricate then the bigger box, filled with small pieces of paper. Paper with words that had since faded, but words that remained etched in Kazuha's mind

Kazuha had missed you. Dearly. She wanted nothing more than to call you, her beloved, but her phone was off limits, only available on the weekends, at least according to the trainer for HYBE. Few months prior, Kazuha had passed an audition to become a Kpop trainee. What she did not anticipate was how tough it would be, especially since you wouldn't be able to frequently contact her or meet up with her. To counteract this, you came up with a brilliant scheme, as you loved to call it. The day before Kazuha went to become an official trainee, the two of you went for dinner together, where you handed her a small box. Inside the box was treasures beyond Kazuha's greatest and wildest imagination. She still chuckles as she reminisces about it now. You were always such a dramatic. What was in those boxes, were letters, handwritten letters that you had wrote for Kazuha, 20 to be exact. Letters for Kazuha to read in any situation. Her personal favourite? "Read this when you miss me."

In that letter was you writing about how she could "not miss you as much", ideas like hugging the jacket that you had given her, looking at your pictures together, and contained sweet nothings about how Kazuha was the greatest and was the love of your life. Kazuha read that letter so many times she could basically recite it from heart.

The letters for Kazuha helped her through the tough times of being a trainee, and it would keep her sane enough till the weekends, where she was given one free day to go out, a day she would often spend with you, you being sure to clear your weekends up too, a task made difficult by trying to make it big in the film industry, but you made it work, for her. When Kazuha debuted, she handed the letter back to you, along with another small stack of hers.

A single red rose

From the depths of the box, Kazuha pulled out a rose, plastic to stand the test of time, but well made it enough that it could be passed as a legitimate rose.

Kazuha recalls finding it in her bag at her debut performance at music bank, realising that you must have snuck it into her bag the last time you snuck into the LeSserafim dorm. The other members knew of you of course, Chaewon initially disapproving knowing the repercussions if the two of you got caught, but ultimately supported the relationship, as long as you two didn't get caught. She wanted Kazuha to be happy, after all. The night before the debut performance, Kazuha found herself cuddling into your arms, shaking with nervousness at her debut performance, filled with terror on what would happen if she messed up. Nothing that couldn't be solved by your love and affection of course. Kazuha smiles as she remembers the pride on your face when you claimed that your kisses were magic, a kiss from you scaring away any bad thoughts that dared invade your beloved's mind. As she slowly vented to you, you were sure to comfort her, whispering sweet nothings into her ear to calm her down, something that proved effective as she slowly fell asleep in your arms, you carrying her to her bed being the last thing she remembered. What she would only find out at a later year was that as you left the room, you were intercepted by Chaewon and Sakura, both with worried expressions on their faces. Their manager was growing suspicious of your relationship, and you would have to be more careful. Before heading out for her dance, Kazuha quickly took her phone out, recording a short message thanking you for the cute gift. She didn't know it, but that message got you through some tough times, even after the incident. She also gave you the rose, as she insisted it served as great decoration in your room

A Bracelet

A small bracelet, it's magnet long grown rusty, rests in the box as Kazuha picked it up, an identical pair lying in her bedside drawer. She couldn't bear to throw it away

This was the gift you had gotten Kazuha for your second anniversary. While it seems pretty underwhelming, you had actually made the bracelets yourself, spending hours on it in your free time. Kazuha loved it, she was never one for expensive gifts, preferring gifts that hit her close to the heart. Kazuha loved that bracelet, wearing it almost everywhere except for MV or commercial shoots, always keeping it on her person. You also always wore it, incorporating the bracelet into the outfit of whichever character you were playing at the time. It all went well, so you thought. As the days went by, Kazuha's manager grew more suspicious, then one day, she spotted the bracelet that she always saw Kazuha wearing, on your wrist. This prompted her to confront Kazuha. Kazuha cringed, that night was horrible. After much probing and Kazuha trying to deny, Kazuha finally admitted to dating you, something that did not bode well with her manager. The company had a strict no dating policy, and after the manager reported it to HYBE, an ultimatum was delivered and Kazuha had a week to decide

The 4 leaf clover

The final object emerged from the box. The object that reminded Kazuha of the worse night of her life.

You had successfully snuck into LeSserafim's dorm once again, clutching in your hand a small trinket. As you entered your girlfriend's room, you were surprised to see her with a frown on her face, as opposed to the smile she always had plastered on when she saw you. You didn't pay it much heed at that point though. As you climbed into the room, you set the trinket onto the table, a 4 leaf clover, you wanted to gift Kazuha a good luck charm, as Kazuha beckoned for you to sit next to you. She had thought of every possible outcome, bargaining with management, quitting to be together with you, anything, but there was only one way this could ever really go. "Management wants me to break up with you, and cease all contact with you." She quickly spat out, shutting her eyes tightly, unwilling to look you in the eye

You sat there stunned, unsure of how to respond to that. "They've threatened my members, Y/N. If I don't do what they want, they're going to disband the whole group, something about group image. I'm sorry Y/N." She muttered out, tears dripping from her eyes "So we're done? And you're not going to fight for us?" You lightly scoffed, still in disbelief at what was going on. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I can't sacrifice my group member's dreams, or my own, just for you." Kazuha mumbled through her tears, as you slowly got up, grabbing the clover and shoving it into your pocket. "I guess I'm just not worth it then..." You whispered spitefully. You knew this had to be done, of course. If you were given this scenario, break up with Kazuha or her and her members would suffer, you knew that you were the right choice to let go. But that didn't make it hurt less. It wasn't easy for Kazuha either, and you could see that, your comment making her break down even further. " I guess you were right all those years ago, 童话里都是骗人的( Fairytales are a lie)" You said, moving to leave through the window. "Y/N, I still l-" Kazuha could barely spit out, before you interrupted her. "I hope this is worth it. Goodbye." You said, turning to look at her one last time, tears streaming down her face and your face too. Closing your eyes, you muttered out a last, "I love you.", before climbing out of the window and heading back to your dorm. Kazuha was inconsolable that night, crying in Sakura's arm through the night, as the rest of the members heard what had happened from outside the door, powerless to do anything about it.

Finally looking through the items in the box, tears coming back to Kazuha's eyes, memories she had buried 3 years ago now bursting to the surface. Through her tears, she continued reading the scroll

随着岁月的流逝，我非常高兴地看着你的事业蒸蒸日上，我真的为你感到高兴。我想你可以说我的职业生涯也相对顺利。我能够让我的父母退休，过上舒适的生活。但我很抱歉你不得不这样看待我。我希望你知道，即使到最后，我都在努力战斗，为明天而战，为迎接明天的决心而战，但我已经筋疲力尽了，和羽。媒体每天都以他们可以编造的任何理由抨击我，我不能走出家门而不受到不喜欢我的粉丝的威胁，仅仅因为我不是他们的最爱。我累了, 和羽，太累了。我好希望你能现在在这里和我在一起。你不知道这些年我有多么想念你，多么想靠在你的肩膀上哭泣，多么想在累了的时候靠在你的身上，多么想有一个人来疼爱我。我要说的话，请你理解，我说出来，是不想因我没告诉你而后悔。虽然我们两个的事业很成功，尽管你那天打破了我的心，我想告诉你，如果有来生，我还是会选择和你在一起，报税，开我父母的洗衣店。我很希望我们能做到，但现在已经太晚了。虽然我现在要走了，我希望你会永远自得。你拥有了我的心，我是会永远爱你的。您的最爱，Y/N

(As the years have gone by, I've watched with great joy as your career prospered, and I'm really happy for you. I guess you could say my career has gone relatively well too. I was able to retire my parents, and live comfortably. But I'm sorry you have to see me in this light. I hope you know that even till the end, I tried to fight, fight for the next day, for the resolve to face the next day, but I'm exhausted, Zuha. The media blasts me everyday for any reason they can concoct, I can't step outside my house without being threatened by fans who dislike me simply because I'm not their favourite. I'm done, Zuha. I wish you were here to be with me. You don't know how much I've missed you these past years, how much I've wanted to cry on your shoulder, lean on you when I felt tired, or have someone to love me. What I'm about to say, please understand that I say it as I do not wish to regret you not knowing my feelings. Though we both have successful careers, and even though you broke my heart that day, in another life, I would have loved to spend it with you, paying taxes and running my parent's laundromat. I always wished we could do that, but it's too late now. Though I'm gone, I hope you will always remember, that my heart is yours, and that I love you. Forever, and always)

Your love, Y/N"

Kazuha couldn't hold it anymore, breaking down into a sobbing mess as Sakura, hearing the commotion, barged into the room, running to hold Kazuha, her other members following close behind

"It's not fair! It's not fair! I miss Y/N! I want them back now! Please! Please!" Kazuha could only scream in her desperation, tears streaming down her cheeks as punched her bed, Sakura and Yunjin holding Kazuha tightly as they tried their best to console her, the other members trying what they could to calm the heart broken girl down.

Truth is, she wanted it too. If she could go back. She would have loved it too. She would have loved just running your parent's laundromat with you, doing taxes with you, growing old with you.

You would have loved her, and she would have loved you.

#angst #rd0265667 #kazuha #kazuha x reader #nakamura kazuha x reader #le sserafim x reader #le sserafim kazuha #kazuha fanfic #nakamura kazuha fanfic #le sserafim kazuha fanfic

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five-rivers · 7 months

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By Storm, By Claw, By Sanguine Moon

Remember how I said stay tuned for a sequel to Stargazer, Moonweaver, Net? This is that sequel! You can also read it here.

This was conceived of for Phantasy Phest, but written for Ectoberhaunt 2023: Tabletop.

This fic was a collaboration! The authors are @akela-nakamura, @datawyrms, @seaglass-skies, @jackdaw-sprite, and myself.

“The sky goes dark, and a cold wind rises. In the distance- thunder, growing closer! The forest goes quiet, holding its breath.” A heavy pause, then, “Suddenly the wind howls! But you know you can’t seek shelter. There is something lurking in these ruins, and if you aren’t careful. It. Will. Find. You.”

A low whistle breaks the atmosphere sharply enough that not even the very real wind rattling the equally real windows can bring it back. Tucker shoots a glare Danny’s way, slowly lowering his hands from where they’d been wiggling dramatically in the air. All it gets him is a sheepish grin and an apologetic shrug. He pushes his glasses up his nose with a huff, ignoring Sam’s snickering, and turns his glare back to the screen in front of him.

“Anyway. Roll for perception.”

The rattle of dice was followed by a couple of groans and a soft yes! from Jazz.

"Okay, what did you guys get?" Tucker asked, peering at the dice on the table. "Oh."

"I think we can safely say I don't know what's happening," Danny said at his expression.

"Yeeah. Sam?"

"Twelve."

"Jazz?"

Jazz bounced a little in her seat. "Twenty one!" She knew playing a ranger was a good choice.

"Okay, okay.” Tucker took a deep breath and looked back at his laptop. “As the thunder rolls like great wheels in the sky, the wind whips at you. It flattens the grass around you in vicious ripples and grabs at your clothes. The ruins stay motionless around you, unmoved by the building storm.

“And yet, beneath the keening of the wind in your ears, you hear something else. It’s rhythmic, sharp. Repetitive. And it sounds like–

“Snap. Snap. Snap.”

Tucker smiled.

“Sam,” he said. “You see that it’s coming from a ragged banner, fluttering in the wind.”

Sam frowned in thought.

“You,” Tucker pointed at Jazz, “see a little head poking around one of the fallen pillars. It's got a beard, and its hair looks kind of weird."

"What do I see?" asked Danny.

"You're staring at the sun, I think." said Sam.

"You’re not the DM,” said Danny. “Tucker?”

“The sun is no longer visible,” said Tucker. Before Danny could gloat, he added, ”You’re staring at where it was.”

While Danny pouted in betrayal, Jazz was mentally rifling through the manuals she’d read as research before playing. Something small and bearded, and it had weird hair. Or something was wrong with the hair. Or something was in the hair?

But there weren’t that many short bearded races eccentric enough to do any of that.

She hazarded a guess. “Is it a gnome?”

Tucker raised an eyebrow. “Roll for knowledge nature.”

That was a yes! And Danny had said she didn’t need to read everything to be prepared.

It was not a gnome.

It was something smaller and weirder called a grig, and as Tucker described it escorting them from the (apparently cursed) ruins, Jazz looked out the window.

The rain was still pouring down outside, dense enough to make white cloud the farther houses on their street and gather in mist along the ground. Water streamed down the glass in rivulets, leaving the image of the street distorted.

The reflection of their room in the window was warm by comparison, all yellows and creams and scattered paper.

And a little bit of green.

Jazz smiled back at her brother in the windows’ reflection, not letting on that she'd seen the subtle iridescence of his eyes. He'd tell her when he was ready, and until then she'd just be supportive. And patient, even if she could feel a horde of questions burning in the back of her mind.

“The grig sits on a log and pulls a doll-sized fiddle from his pack,” said Tucker, and Jazz returned her attention to the game.

“He puts it to his chin,” and Tucker mimed holding a fiddle to his chin –

“I thought that was violins,” said Danny.

“Danny, I am going to commit some violins,” said Tucker.

“Never mind.”

“He puts it to his chin,” repeated Tucker, “And begins to play. And it’s beautiful.”

He consulted his laptop and fiddled with some keys. With a decisive tap on the spacebar, music began to play. Tucker spoke over it.

“The music fills the air like raindrops on leaves. Slowly, it grows to a musical crescendo and you find your spirits bolstered, your burdens lessened. It’s as though there’s air beneath your feet and you could –almost– begin to dance. But he stops after just a few more chords and chuckles under his breath.

“‘Nah,’ the grig says. ‘I won’t do that to ya.’”

“Do what?” asked Jazz before she could help herself.

“Ya don’t know, miss?” Tucker said, still in the grig’s voice.

Oh right. This was supposed to be in character. And Jazz was playing a ranger. “Maybe?” She reached for her dice, rolling them between her fingers. They were, she had quickly discovered, surprisingly fun to fidget with.

“Knowledge nature,” Tucker suggested in a stage whisper.

Jazz straightened in her seat and rolled the d20, watching as it settled. “Eighteen?”

“They’re good enough musicians to weave spells with their music like bards, and can trap people in dances for hours. They do it as a prank, sometimes.”

Jazz remembered the siren from a few months back and winced.

“Thank you for not doing that,” she said.

“It just didn’t seem like it’d be funny enough,” said Tucker, back in character.

“Wow, reassuring,” said Sam.

Tucker smiled.

“And that’s less reassuring,” Danny commented. “I roll diplomacy for him to not do that. Twenty five.”

“What do you say?” asked Tucker.

Danny thought before responding.

“That was some of the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard. You’re very talented. Where did you learn to play like that?”

“You’re right it’s a talent! Everyone in the clan’s got music in their bodies, right down to their feet,” Tucker said. And then he switched back out of the grig’s twang. “He puts his legs together and rubs, and they fill the air with a deep hum. His wings tremble from the effort and the sound.”

“That’s not a trick I’d ever manage,” said Danny. He sounded impressed.

“Not you! And not those lepre-cons,” said Tucker in the grig’s voice, snarling on the last word.

“Leprechauns?” asked Danny.

The start of whatever Tucker was going to say was cut off with a crash as the basement door was kicked open with a heavy thunk immediately followed by Jack Fenton’s booming voice. “Did somebody say leprechauns?!” He charged into the room, swinging some kind of… something vaguely resembling a gun, forcing Sam to duck and earning a yelp from Danny as he dove under the table.

Tucker was quick to pipe up, slapping a hand down over the monster manual in front of him. “Nope! No leprechauns! No, uh, sir. Not here!”

Maddie’s voice trailed into the room more slowly than her husband’s, followed by the woman herself. “Now, dear, you know the Fenton Fae Fryer isn’t ready to use yet!”

Danny’s hiss of “The what-” went ignored.

“But it will be! Soon! And those monsters won’t know what hit them!”

“That’s right dear! Now, kids, remember to stay inside after dark this week- I know, I know it’s raining, but the rain’ll let up eventually, and with the eclipse coming up you can’t be too careful!”

Sam looked like she wanted to say something, but stopped when she caught Tucker shaking his head at her. She sat back in her seat with a huff.

“Darn right!” Jack chimed in from where he’d finally set the huge weapon down on the kitchen counter. “This is a huge opportunity for hunting! All those monstrous meddlers will think they’re too strong to bother hiding like the foul fiendish felons that they are!”

“We’ll remind them why humans drove them into hiding in the first place!” Maddie chimed in. “Oh, I hope we can keep some captive specimens too, there’s so much to learn! The small ones just fall apart so easily, we can barely do even a single test…”

Jack squeezed his hand into a dramatic fist. “Of course we’re gonna capture ‘em! We’re gonna grab those ghastly goons or my name’s not Jack Fenton!”

With a whoop, he punched the air.

Jazz had been glaring at her parents, shoulders tense, but something twitched in the corner of her vision. When she looked, Danny’s reflection in the window was haunted. A pit formed in Jazz’s stomach, and her heart sparked with anger.

Danny was one of the ‘small ones’ in his other form. She didn’t think they’d managed to catch any like him. She didn’t think he would still be here if they had, but–

“Now, Jack. We’re not guaranteed to have success just yet,” her mother said, but she was smiling at Jack’s cheer. “We haven’t finished baiting everything. And without first-hand data to back up our research, it’s just that much harder to hunt efficiently, much less decide what bait is effective. Knowledge is power, of course!”

“And we’ll have plenty to work with soon, baby! We’ll catch one this time for sure! Maybe one of those ‘fairies’ that keep tricking the kids–”

Jazz shoved her chair back with a horrendous screech and slammed the fist still holding her dice down on the table, ignoring the one that went flying off across the room and the brilliant flare of lightning that had the overhead lights flickering. “No. No nono, no. You are not doing this tonight!

“Maybe, just maybe, for once in your life you should try to understand instead of just finding better ways to kill people who never did anything to you!”

"Jazz," said Maddie in a tone of forced patience, "they aren't people. These things are monsters, even the small, pretty ones."

Danny had sunk so low in his chair that his chin was level with the tabletop. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.

"Especially the small pretty ones!" shouted Jack.

Danny flinched.

A bibliophile, Jazz had read the words ‘shaking with rage’ dozens of times. She’d always thought it was a turn of phrase. A metaphor. A literary device. But here she was, physically trembling. Not all of the static on her skin could be attributed to the lightning outside.

“Have you two even bothered to confirm that?” she asked. ”Or have you just gone around committing atrocities for the fun of it?”

“Don’t you take that tone with us, young lady! We’re just trying to keep you safe!”

“You’re not trying to keep anyone safe with your awful, deranged experiments! I don’t know how you even call yourselves scientists!”

Thunder crashed, as if it had only been waiting for her cue.

She looked between their shocked faces. Heaved one breath, two, and ran up the stairs towards her bedroom.

Maddie ran after her. “Jasmine Marie Fenton!”

Jazz whipped around and almost snarled at the look of indignation on her mother’s face. Static jumped to her hand from the doorknob as she reached for it, but she didn’t flinch. Instead, she squeezed it so hard she was surprised it didn’t come off.

(She was fairly certain the few dice she still held in her other hand had fractured. It was too bad. She’d liked those.)

“Do you two even hear yourselves? ‘Especially the pretty ones?’ ‘The small ones just fall apart so easily?’ You want to see monsters? Take a look at your reflections!”

WHAM.

Jazz looked at the darkness in surprise. She hadn’t expected the door to slam shut quite like that. It had rattled the windows with a force she’d felt in her chest. And then there was the darkness.

Oh. It was a power outage.

In the sudden quiet, Jazz heard her mother’s footsteps returning down the stairs, and then muted conversation. The front door opened, then shut.

She took the three steps to her window, and peered out. Her parents were standing on the front stairs, headlamps strapped over their hazmat hoods and their arms full of pre-loaded net-launchers.

They were still going hunting, then. After all that.

Jazz turned from the window before either of them could look up at her watching them and get ideas about whether she regretted her words. She didn’t.

As she followed Jack out onto the street, Maddie sighed. “That girl, I swear. I don’t know where she gets these ideas in her head…”

Jack sighed. “I think it’s just a phase, Mads. Kids and the internet these days, you know?”

“Maybe,” Maddie said. She looked up at Jazz’s window before she turned her attention back to her husband. “Either way, I’m not thrilled with her tone. We’ll have to have a talk.”

“That’s the spirit!” Jack bellowed, grinning wide. “She’ll see that we were right, soon enough. Everyone will, after we catch one of those dastardly fae! Or a hobgoblin! Or a vampire! Or a sidewinder! Or a dragon!”

“Yes, dear. But first we need to figure out what took out the power, and…” Maddie narrowed her eyes at the still-dark Fentonworks building behind them. “That’s strange. The generator should have brought everything back online by now.”

“I bet it was those dastardly gremlins! Well, if they think they’re gonna stop us from wrapping them all up in triple-strand hemp braid reinforced by silver-iron alloy, pinning them down with steel-jawed monster-chompers, or canning them up tight with the Fenton Thermos, then they’ve got another think coming!”

Lightning continued to flash overhead, bright enough to see color, and for the puddles and windows around them to flare brightly with reflected light. The ozone and charge in the air, combined with the strange lighting and lack of normal city noises conspired to give a magical cast to the night.

Magical meaning dangerous, in Maddie’s vocabulary.

Usually, she wouldn’t leave the children home alone with the power off, but lightning alone wouldn’t knock out the electricity at Fentonworks, and they’d monster-proofed the backup generator to within an inch of its lifetime warranty. Whatever was out here was their responsibility to deal with, as monster hunters. Jazz, Danny, and his friends would be safe, behind the wards of Fentonworks. This was for everyone else. For all the citizens of Amity Park and the wider world who had been convinced that the supernatural didn’t exist, who were vulnerable, unprotected, unaware of the dangers they faced constantly.

Even if Jazz couldn’t appreciate that.

“This way!” cried Jack, shaking her from her partial reverie.

She shook her head before following him. That was a bad habit to get into while on a hunt. But then, fighting with her children had always unsettled her.

She followed Jack across the half-flooded road. It would take days for things to dry, even if the rain let up.

But the rain would let up sooner or later. This storm may or may not be natural in origin, but they had good evidence that there was at least one creature that could manipulate the weather in the region. No such creature would allow clouds to reduce the amount of power it could gain from basking under a Blood Moon, much less a Blood Moon that was both a supermoon and a blue moon.

That only made it more important to catch whatever this was. As excited as she and Jack were about the opportunity presented by the carelessness of monsters and the loss of their illusions, the lunar eclipse would be a dangerous time indeed. Reducing the number of monsters present even by one would make everyone much safer.

Jack skidded to a stop and fired one of his nets. Its weighted edges wrapped around the glass sides of a bus shelter.

“I think I really got it this time!” said Jack, bounding forward as Maddie covered him. Nothing was going to sneak up on her husband on her watch.

On the other hand…

“Jack, sweetie, I don’t think there’s anything in the bus stop.” Her goggles, which had been treated with their Fenton Paranormal Peeper Powder (not for direct use on eyes) (patent pending), weren’t picking up so much as a glimmer.

“Not in the bus stop! Down there!” Jack pointed at a storm drain just under the overhang of the bus stop shelter.

Gun ready, Maddie approached it.

The shadows between the grate bars gave way to the pale glare from her headlamp, throwing the inside into stark relief. The light sliced across water-stained concrete walls, reaching down until it met light.

The water at the bottom of the drain was stagnant, the drain so full of rotten leaves that they piled above the water in places, outlined in the brilliant white of her headlamp and bright enough to leave scribbled lines dancing in her vision.

The only motion Maddie could see in it was in her own face.

“Nothing,” she sighed. Chasing mirages again. And wasn’t that a metaphor for life?

“Oh,” said Jack. His face appeared alongside hers in the water. “Sorry, Mads, I really did think I saw something.”

Maddie patted him on the shoulder and surveyed the surrounding street. The light from her headlamp bounced off of the mirrors of parked cars and the windows of nearby businesses. All dark.

But a few streets over, there was still light, still power.

“Maybe you did, but something interested in electricity is going to go that way.” She pointed. “Let’s sweep these streets.”

Jazz didn’t sleep until her parents made their way home, defeated.

She didn’t know if it was worry for them, as they ran around in a lightning storm, or if it was fear for everything else that could be out there that kept her awake.

But if she had to guess, it’d be the latter.

Omake:

“Well, uh. I guess game night’s over?” Danny asked. He was still under the table, having hidden when Jazz started yelling.

With a thunk, Tucker’s head met the table next to his laptop. It was followed by a swish, a rustle, and the clatter of dice falling to the floor. The room was still pitch black, only the occasional flicker of lightning casting any light.

“Well,” Sam sighed. “At least your house is never boring.” Danny let out a dry laugh, missing most of its humor.

“I could use a little more boring.”

“Good luck with that,” Tucker said, his voiced muffled by the table. Danny sighed, having not yet moved.

Good luck, indeed.

Stay tuned for more!

#ectoberhaunt #23 day 6 #23 prompt tabletop #eh23 #ectoberhaunt 2023 #ectoberhaunt23 #phantasy phest #Alternate Universe - Modern Fantasy #fairies #moth!danny #fae & fairies #fairytale curses #mentioned unethical experiments

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knightyoomyoui · 10 months

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LE SSERAFIM Chaewon x M & F Reader - “Hardwork Pays Off”

Heyo and welcome to my NEWWWWWWW one-shot book where you can expect that in these stories of yours, you will be paired with various K-Pop idols! Hope you enjoy reading and please give it a vote and add it to your reading list!

Let's kickoff this book with this story of you along with the leader of LE SSERAFIM and one of the former members of IZ*ONE, Kim Chaewon!

The urgent meeting for the campus' 40th anniversary of its foundation has just ended. All of the members walked out of the room from their respective sections, which they held as representatives.

Among those who attended the meeting was Kim Chaewon, a freshman student from the first and highest section, where most students that obtained passing and high grades could only get there. She is a very smart woman, which only explains how she was able to be a part of it.

Her rich family background also qualified her to be an auditor of the student council, with the members instantly choosing her to take the position.

But not only that, she is also a figure in other organizations, including the Festivals and Ceremony Committee, which is the one that gathered together to talk about certain issues to be discussed prior to the foundation day of the campus.

This day is well known for everyone to be special and remarkable each year, and as usual, they have to keep the streak that way. That's why, after the class, all the members went to the room and talked to each other about what their plan was to execute everything that revolved around the said celebration.

There were only three who suggested their own ideas: the treasurer, named Miyawaki Sakura, who said that they have to invite the previous administrators and other personnel who worked on the campus before and left their own legacy here, and the chairman of the committee herself, named Nakamura Kazuha, who said that they can move the sports fest into the foundation day so that everyone can be entertained and spend the class-free day more enjoyable.

Lastly, it was Chaewon herself who joined them in sharing what was on her mind. After Kazuha gave her own, she asked for anyone who wanted to take the turn. Chaewon raised her hand afterwards.

"Chaewon, I see you've got something to recommend for us. Go on." Kazuha granted her request to speak.

"Thank you, chairman", Chaewon politely said. She stood up from her seat; now everyone's eyes are on her.

"So for me, I think, what if we arrange a mini-concert or a talent fest in the event?" Chaewon began her suggestion. The rest were revealing their interested looks as they heard it.

"We could invite everyone who wants to perform, whether they could be students, teachers, janitors doing a band, dance performance, cheerleading, anything. We've never done that before. There can also be booths where students can sell products that can be a souvenir for the event or simply foods, beverages, and photographs. And then, when the night comes, I wonder if we could set up some fireworks."

The members were nodding their heads, pursing their lips, or whispering their approval and liking for Chaewon's suggestion. The school rarely does a concert, especially allowing everyone in the school to join, not only students and teachers; that's what Chaewon piqued their interest in.

Without anyone trying to follow up with Chaewon, the chairman then placed the three options into decision-making. The members expressed their insights about the possible advantages and disadvantages it may hold.

"Alright, now that we heard from everyone how they perceive the choices, let's go to the voting procedure, Kazuha said, picking up the whiteboard marker on the table.

"So first, who's in for Sakura's suggestion?"

Out of the 20 members of the committee, only five raised their hands.

Kazuha tallied it on the side of the writing on the board. "Five for Sakura. Next, to my suggestion?"

7 of the committees raised their hands.

"Cmon guys, don't be scared; I won't eat you all alive if you all don't pick me, Kazuha joked, which earned laughter from the members present in the room with her.

"That's all? Five? Are there others who want to catch up?"

Kazuha saw that no one came out for an addition.

"Okay, seven it is." She marked it on the board. "Lastly, to our Chaewon here: Who here approves her plan?"

The rest of the members who didn't vote from the previous two quickly raised their hands in unison. There were eight in total who were in favor of Chaewon's side.

Kazuha counted it noisily and nodded. We've got 8 remaining who haven't voted yet, she labeled Chaewon's name. Oh, it looks like we now know who owns the majority."

"I guess it's safe to conclude that, Chaewon, your idea will be our main plan for the preparation of the foundation day concert. I am also allowing you to join in leading the group since you have the whole idea of what the event should look like, okay?"

Chaewon nodded and smiled at Kazuha's remark. She stood up and bowed to everyone who supported her proposal. "Thank you everyone; let's do well and spread fun on the campus!"

The group clapped their hands for her to express their happiness for their fellow members. As Kazuha ended the meeting, Chaewon received congratulatory messages from her co-members in the hallway.

Returning to her locker, she finally let go of the heavy feeling of anxiety that was putting pressure on her. She appreciated and was happy that her creative and fascinating idea was chosen, but she wondered about the possibility that the students would barely participate or wouldn't view the organization of the event as much as she expected, leaving them disappointed.

In addition, her belief that she is the most underrated and least popular figure in the school government could get her into trouble if the public learns who is behind all of it.

Chaewon sighed and shook her head to remove these thoughts from her head and make her unbothered for at least a while. So far, her main objective has been to execute and finish this new task that she applied for on her own.

The next day, the Festival and Ceremony Committee worked really hard almost the entire day to review Chaewon's event proposal, publicize the event to the higher-ups, prepare everything they'll need for the construction, manage the equipment, and compute the overall cost of how much they'll spend for the event.

Chaewon was glad to witness her idea slowly become a reality. Despite how nervous she is still feeling, the excitement is trying its best to oppose and battle the negativity within her. That's why she is pouring her efforts to their full extent into this event.

The perfect time has finally arrived for the school's annual foundation day commemoration. Luckily, the set is all prepared on the open grounds of the campus. Everyone was walking through and capturing the good luck of the stage where the students who applied to perform with musical instruments are practicing their performance later.

Chaewon is monitoring everything along with Kazuha, who is walking beside her. While she was invested in staring at the stage, thinking about what could happen later when the concert officially starts, she wasn't aware that Kazuha was calling her.

"-won... C-Chaewon!"

"Y-yeah?!" Chaewon exclaimed frantically.

"Are you okay? You seemed to be spaced out." She asked her worriedly.

"I'm good. Sorry, I wasn't able to respond quick." Chaewon sheepishly looked away.

"It's okay." Kazuha smiled. "Are you ready for later, Chae?"

"Yup. I just hope everyone will like what I did for them."

Kazuha patted her friend to the shoulder. "They will, trust me. After all, you're our master strategist and the brightest mind in our council. You rarely commit mistakes, but this won't be one of them."

"I'll head back to the council; you can relax for now. You've done enough, Chae", Kazuha said and smiled before leaving Chaewon alone in the middle of the open grounds.

Chaewon continued to wander around while eating her waffles until a certain person drew her attention when their eyes met.

"Hi Chae!" You greeted her after walking towards at her.

"Hey, YN." Chaewon smiled. What are you doing so far?"

"Ahh, well I'm just talking along with my friends there." you pointed at the guys on the stage. "So basically, I'm just here for nothing. Duties are cleared for now anyway." you shrugged.

"You're right." She nodded. "I see that they'll perform later."

"I encouraged them. That's my way on helping them to promote their newly formed band." you proudly said to her.

"Ooh, supportive friend huh." She smirked.

"Ofcourse I am, especially if they've been like that for me too. If it wasn't for them too, I won't be standing here right now as your fellow committee member who contributed in the production of what we have in here." You said roaming your eyes around while spreading your arms.

"How about you, don't you have anything to do?" You asked her.

"Kazuha lets me to do what I want for now, like you said we are done here so I'm just looking around the place." Chaewon said after biting a piece of her waffle. "But I'm going to the library now. I'm craving for some novels to read."

"Okay then, see you later I guess and have fun on reading." You smiled at her.

Chaewon returned the same nice gesture. "You too."

She was about to walk away and head to her next destination when you called her once again.

"Wait, Chaewon!"

She turned around and hummed in confusion.

"How is that waffle? Is it good? What flavor?" You asked in curiosity as you pointed at the booth distance away from them.

"It's cheese and yeah, it's delicious." Chaewon answered.

"Nice, I'll go buy one. I want to try it too. Thanks!"

You were about to walk away when Chaewon spoke behind you. "Y-you can have mine i-if you want."

Stopping in your steps, you slowly faced Chaewon to see her quite shy as she tightlipped while pushing her hand holding the waffle closer into you.

"You s-sure, Chae? That's your food?"

"I don't mind. I'm not hungry anymore and the library doesn't allow foods anyway... so you can have it. Also, I'm sparing your money to be spent less."

You looked at the bitten waffle, which now has exactly half of its length remaining. "As you say, I mean... I won't try to refuse such a free offer."

Both of you chuckled. You became surprised when Chaewon pushed the waffle even closer to you, including what she said along the way. "Take a bite first, and you'll find out."

Your eyes widened as you stared at Chaewon, cheekily smiling in front of you. Slowly directing your mouth at the food, you opened and bit another piece of waffle as you munched to discover how it tasted.

Chaewon watched you eat patiently, and she listened to the sounds of your hums and groans. "Mmmhmm... wow. Yeah, it's good. I love how they didn't go easy on the cheese and they stuffed it on the waffle that much", you said as you clicked your tongue to depict the taste if left on there.

"Told you. It's yours; grab it. I'll be going now, YN."

She handed you the waffle before she separated from you. You looked at the waffle again and smiled at Chaewon's kindness.

As you returned to your friends, you caught them all staring at you with teasing smiles and reenacting your moment with Chaewon there, making you threaten them in annoyance while being embarrassed at the same time that they caught both of you there as you realized how close you went through Chaewon.

It was 5 p.m. in the afternoon when the concert officially started. Everybody is gathered around the open ground, occupying most of its space as they go on to visit the available stalls, while others are now watching, cheering, and vibing along with the performances brought by the volunteered students, teachers, and other personnel involved in this wonderful event.

The student council partnered with the festival and ceremony committee and the security team to guard and ensure that the event would progress smoothly and establish a safe environment for people to be unharmed.

However, there is only one person who belongs in the group who is absent, and that is Chaewon, who is using her phone after resting from reading her chosen novel for so long.

She is currently hiding herself from them after coming up with the decision not to join them out there and see her idea. Although she has to follow, it wasn't intentional because she has to do this without any other choice.

Her family had already notified her that her driver would pick her up soon because they had to prepare early for their flight early in the morning.

Since it's their semester break afterwards, her parents decided to visit their relatives living in another country for a short vacation.

She couldn't wait and stay here for longer, so she made an excuse in the group chat along with an additional request for them to make sure that everyone in the school should be kept prioritized in the afterparty for the sake of the regulations before she sneakily left the campus.

Despite how sad and unfortunate the situation is for her, what's important to her now is that she showed assistance, and hopefully everyone can acknowledge the amusement she has supplied for them.

As she was walking through the alleyway, she heard the noises of the crowd starting to erupt along with the upbeat music being played by whoever was performing there.

"Everyone's having a blast, Chaewon said, smiling at her observation. "Good for them."

Her phone beeped, and she checked the notification. It was her driver who informed her that he was now close.

While typing her reply message to be sent to her driver, she was too oblivious to sense your incoming presence as you tried to run ahead and catch up to her.

"Chaewon!"

"Y-YN?" She asked astoundingly. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be there."

"Yeah, I know, but I excused myself also," you said between her slightly heavy breathing from sprinting. "Look, I saw your message on the GC. I hope you and your family have a safe flight tomorrow."

"Thanks."

"You did a good job for today's event; me and the rest want to say it personally again, but since earlier, after you went to the library, I couldn't search for you anywhere", you said to her.

"I was actually going to give this to you. Now that I find you, here you go."

You grabbed her hand and opened it on your own, startling her. You placed a small object in her palm. Chaewon looked at it and identified it as a small girl doll above the blooming flowers.

"What's this?"

"It's one of the souvenirs being sold by the students there at the stall earlier. While I was checking there I just found this one cute. I don't know, something brought me to buy it and... give it to you because this somehow reminds me of you."

Chaewon stared at you. She was petrified how she just came across in your mind randomly.

"W-why did you think so?"

"I just found you to be the type of person that wherever you go, you make everything bloom just like you. That's what you're like this doll and we, the people around to you; are the flowers who grows from the sunlight of your happiness."

Chaewon was left speechless by your own definition of her character. She had shivers all over her skin when she felt as if time had just paused after hearing that from you. The only thing that is moving so fast is the heart rapidly beating from your uplifting words.

"And also, I also recorded this from you."

You pulled out your phone from the pocket of your pants. You opened it and showed the screen to Chaewon. To her astonishment, she can view the recorded video of what's happening in the concert right now, where her thoughts were proven wrong.

Everyone was enjoying and loving the event. It all worked right.

"Those were all because of you, Chae. We're happy for your accomplishment of making another yearly foundation day of our campus successful and memorable", you said to her as Chaewon continued to watch the video intently. "When you sent your goodbyes to us, I figured you wouldn't be here with us, so I came up with a way for you to be able to see them still because you deserved it."

Chaewon looked at you and let out a soft smile from her lips. "This is beyond wonderful, YN. I appreciated your thoughtfulness so much. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Chae." You smiled back at her.

She returned her gaze to the phone and watched the remaining time left in the video. She didn't control herself anymore; she presented the biggest grin she ever had so far in front of you.

"Ahh... look at them. They're so cute! So many smiles and laughters around in their faces! I love it, I'm so happy!" She said as she cradled the phone in her hands along with her ecstatic sways while giggling and sighing in relief.

You just watched her be the usual positive version of herself, and if only Chaewon knew how much you loved and were content to see her like this. You hope that this never ends and she never changes because this... This is a gem of a sight for you.

Her smile when she looked at you didn't fail to make you react the same way. It was like you also caused her to brighten her mood more.

Right at the time when the video came to an end, the fireworks popped into the night sky after being launched.

Chaewon and you looked above to gaze and watch the colorful show presented in your eyes.

Chaewon became even happier than ever...and she has you on her side.

You glanced at her side profile, and oh, how breathtaking it is to see her illuminated face sparkling with various bright colors that blend well with the beauty she possesses and that lovely smile she wears.

Again, this has become one of the best days of your life, and you're glad that she was the cause of it.

The fireworks disappeared before the event proceeded inside, with the roaring crowds going crazy again.

You remembered that Chaewon is about to leave now, so you were contemplating escorting her on her way home for safety precautions since it's already nighttime and you don't trust the streets in this state.

Unfortunately, you were prevented from doing so when a car emerged at the end of the hallway. "My driver is now here; bye, YN!"

"Bye, Chaewon." You said with a mix of sincerity and sadness that she had to go without you.

Before she leaves, she gave you one last gift of appreciation for you to cherish when Chaewon quickly hugged you tightly and pressed the side of her head against your chest. "Thank you so much for today; goodnight, and see you again after the semester ends, YN."

"You're welcome, Chae. Have fun on your vacation, you commented as you melted and smiled wider at being in her arms, accepting it by placing yours around her too.

She let go of you and waved her hand at you before she started to walk away further from you.

You remained there to wait for her to reach the car, while Chaewon was all assured that this day had become more than complete and special for her. Not only did she get to share moments alone with the guy/girl she secretly admires, but she was also now confident that all of her hard work had indeed paid off.

#lesserafim #lesserafimchaewon #kimchaewon #chaewonxmalereader #chaewonxmreader #chaewonxfemalereader #chaewonxfreader #lesserafimchaewonxmalereader #lesserafimchaewonxmreader #lesserafimchaewonxfemalereader #lesserafimchaewonxfreader #lesserafimxreader #kpoponeshot #kpopfanfic #kpopau #lesserafimoneshot #lesserafimfanfic #lesserafimau

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gealach-in-a-misty-world · 2 months

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Adrien Desfourneaux, professor of magic and disgraced ex-physician, has discovered a conspiracy. Someone is inflicting magical comas on the inhabitants of the massive city of Astrum, and no one knows how or why. Caught between a faction of scheming magical academics and an explosive schism in the ranks of Astrum’s power-hungry military, Adrien is swallowed by the growing chaos. Alongside Gennady, an unruly, damaged young soldier, and Malise, a brilliant healer and Adrien’s best friend, Adrien searches for a way to stop the spreading curse before the city implodes. He must survive his own bipolar disorder, his self-destructive tendencies, and his entanglement with the man who doesn’t love him back.

"In my greater and lesser moments, I fear that I must be fated for sainthood". Madeleine Nakamura's Cursebreakers is a quiet standalone debut about overcoming conspiracies and living with mental illness. Adrien is an extraordinary protagonist, sharp and hurting, haunted by wrong choices and by his bipolar disorder, which is here called akrasia. A skilled magician and a former healer, with a caustic personality, he finds himself drawn right into the thick of action while being a non-combatant in his forties who nonetheless strives to do the right thing. The exploration of his bipolar disorder, and later, of his addiction, is heartbreaking and poignant: we see the pain and desperation and the anguish of not being believed due to his condition; we suffer with him.

The supporting cast is equally good, painted in vivid strokes that make them jump out of the pages. Adrien's reluctant ally, a member of the dangerous militia that oversees the city's security, is such a complicated character, perennially angry and impulsive, but ultimately he endears himself with his desire to do and be better; the dynamic that grows between them is a joy to read. Adrien's best friend, a sapphic healer who helps him combat the worse effects of his bipolar disorder, is another exquisitely rendered character; her love for him is tangible, and so is her despair for his well-being. Then there's the man Adrien is in painfully unrequited love with, a fellow scholar who has agreed to be Adrien's keeper when the worst hits. Their dynamic is painful and vivid, Adrien's ache for him a constant throughout the book, and the resolution of their strange and frustating relationship is such a refreshing, well-executed take.

The resolution of the main conflict is also executed masterfully, with a final showdown that keeps you on the edge of your seat. However, there were whispers of deus-ex-machina and the world isn't as well-developed as I would have liked, while still being painted well enough for the purposes of a standalone novel. The relationship between the soldiers and their bonded raches, especially, could have warranted some more focus, but it was fascinating in what we could see. The setting of a magical school from the point of view of one of its professors, and the approach to the study of magic, was especially refreshing.

The prose is gorgeous, concise and at times archaic; I devoured this book in a matter of hours.

Cursebreakers is an extraordinary debut that deals with issues often going unseen in fantasy novels.

✨ 4.5 stars

📚📚📚 IF YOU LOVE THIS, YOU MIGHT LIKE:

* The Councillor, by E.J. Beaton

for: addiction, academia

[You can find more of my reviews about queer speculative fiction on my blog MISTY WORLD]

#madeleine nakamura #cursebreakers #lgbtq books #queer lit #queer books #queer #sff #queer sff #sff books #books #book reviews #reading #gealach reads #gealach writes

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thebigqueer · 3 years

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Ok, here we go. Dark!Bianca idea. Shortly after the events in the desert, a severely injured Bianca is found by agents of the Titans who were shadowing the quest party off-page. She is brought back to Titan HQ and is convinced to join their crusade against the gods while her friends and family think she's dead. Jump ahead to BotL, instead of Kelli the Empousa, it is a mysterious masked assassin who attacks Percy and Rachel at Goode. The events mostly play out unchanged until Geryon's (1/8)

ranch, where instead of Bianca, it is the ghost of Maria di Angelo who is revealed to be sending Iris messages to Percy about Nico, while also strongly hinting that Bianca's still alive. Jump ahead to Mt St. Helens, Percy fights the assassin again, and during his stint on Ogygia, Percy begins to put two and two together after the assassin demonstrated skills similar to the Hunters. At Antaeus' Arena, the assassin is finally unmasked to reveal a still-alive but scarred Bianca, replacing (2/8)

Ethan Nakamura as the demigod enforcer. Percy is convinced that Bianca is being mind-controlled and goes to Mt Tam to rescue her as well as stop Kronos. However, when he confronts her, Bianca reveals that she's operating of her own free will, feeling vengeful against the gods for robbing her of her life and having pledged her loyalty to her new Titan master. Kronos intends to make Bianca the prophesy kid, promising her the free will she craves so badly as well as promising not to hurt (3/8)

Nico. Going into the Last Olympian, Percy and Nico are both determined to convince Bianca that she's making a mistake, and this time Nico's duplicity is not to simply learn about his mother but to try and summon her spirit to get through to Bianca. At the same time, Kronos gradually starts treating Bianca as less of an ally and more of a tool, and the Titans' actions cause her to have doubts even though she dosen't know what else to do. It all comes to a head in the final battle.(4/8)

Nico returns from the Underworld by himself early, giving Hades an ultimatum to come and fight or hide. Just before the final attack, Kronos sends Bianca to infiltrate Olympus to disable the magic defenses, but Nico arrives to intercept her and make one last bid to save her. They fight, with both begging the other to stand down even as they slug it out. Finally, just as Percy arrives to chase Kronos, the battered siblings' duel ends when Nico gives another ultimatum. He throws down his (5/8)

sword and gives Bianca, now reduced to fear and frustration-induced tears, the choice between perusing her grudge and allowing herself to continue being Kronos’s slave or doing the right thing. Finally able to make a legitimate choice of her own, Bianca chooses to turn her back on the Titans. She still ends up wounded, but unlike Ethan in canon, Nico manages to save his sister while Percy and Kronos have their final battle. After everything ends, Percy petitions for Bianca’s pardon along (6/8)

with the rest of his list, though Bianca turns it down, realizing the harm she almost caused to the person she loved more than anybody else. She is given a reduced sentence in service to her father, and though she does not properly forgive any of the gods that hurt her, she does recognize that the spite and anger she felt would only lead to more death. Nico gets to visit her occasionally, and she starts a road to redemption that Luke never got the chance to take. In HoO, Bianca is (7/8)

more of a background character, but it is she that finds Hazel in Asphodel and alerts Nico to her. Overall, dark!Bianca is an anti-villain who’s affiliation with Kronos is clearly drawn from her pain and grief over the gods’ interference in her life, but her saving grace is her brother. Nico manages to pull her out of the darkness and save her from becoming the same monster Luke became. What do you think? (bear in mind, this is my rough draft) (8/8)

Okay, WOW. Anon, I am actually going to start a petition to make you the new Percy Jackson author because that was such an interesting plot to read.

First of all, I love that you replaced Bianca with Ethan. As interesting as he was in the series, and as much as I loved his character, after reading through your rough draft, I feel like Bianca would have been a much better character to use throughout PJO. Her arc could have been expanded upon and completed thoroughly, and it could have made a lot of sense. Ethan felt more like a representation of "demigods turned to the other side," which I get is the point, but I loved the way you used Bianca because with your plot, her character could have been used so well to properly show how easily the Titan army manipulated kids.

Furthermore, I feel like your plot with Bianca could have been a much better way to use her character throughout the series. From my interpretation, in canon she seemed more like a stand-in tool just to enhance Nico's own character arc and his motives, but your plot for her would have actually given her some kind of foundation and an actual arc for her to go through. You've given her such an interesting character and I think it really provides more justice to what she could have been.

I also love the way that not only did you give her a better arc, but you also enhanced Nico's own arc and the plot, too. Her death in the books seemed more symbolic to him and a turning point in his character, but with her character in your AU, it's both important to Nico and Bianca. You've given her an actual character, and you've set up such an interesting conflict between Nico and Bianca.

Additionally, I love the divide you've created between them. I think that - based on what we know about her in the books - as much as she loves her brother, Bianca also feels very limited with him because of how she's been forced to grow up and be his savior. She understands that he's only a child, though, which I think could also play into her own hatred for the gods - they've not only destroyed her family, but now they're forcing her to take the role of an adult when she's a mere child, too? She was never angry at Nico - she was only ever mad with the gods.

Maybe that's something that Nico also feels bad about, and maybe he tells her about it when they're standing each other down. Maybe she lets him know that she never hated him or felt that he was bringing her down.

Also, I want to add that I adore the way you put them on opposite sides. It sets up such an interesting dynamic to their relationship because here you have two people who love each other so much, but they're on two different sides of a large war. They're both too stubborn to go onto each other's sides, and Nico knows Bianca's only going to get herself into more danger. I just love the potential that has for both of their characters.

I know Percy had a large fear about Nico being another kid to join Kronos' army, so I bet Bianca being on his team would have left Percy incredibly terrified for Nico, too, because he knew how much Nico loved Bianca. Would he have been nervous for Nico's ability to change his mind? Nico knows he'd never join Kronos, but would Percy have known?

And, knowing that Bianca's now on the Kronos side, how would Percy react? Because he felt pretty guilty about her death in TTC, right? Would he feel guilty that she's on the other side now, too? Would he try to reason with her, only to push her further away? I'd love to see how Percy would deal with knowing that Bianca - an important child of the Big Three - would react to her being there. He was already nervous about Nico joining sides, but having Bianca there would have really scared him.

And the part about Bianca finding Hazel instead of Nico? That was mind-blowing. I love everything about that situation because now that introduces Hazel into the narrative of Nico and Bianca's story. My question for you would be how does Hazel's character change now? How does she fit in with Nico and Bianca? Because in Heroes of Olympus she's clearly very insecure about her relationship with Nico and how he views her, but if she actually knew Bianca, how would she feel? Would she feel more left out (knowing that Bianca and Nico have known each other much longer and have a stronger connection with each other)? Would she be distrustful? And how would the three of them adapt to this additional family member? I have high hopes that by the end they would all love each other very much, but I'm just really curious into how Hazel's addition would influence the dynamic of all three.

And, essentially, it all ends into a somewhat win-win situation. Bianca's still living; Nico's got two new sisters; Hazel now has a new family.

I think this is such an interesting concept, and I'd love to read it. If you ever post it anywhere, please do share the link! This was such an intriguing plot to go through and, again, I think this could have been a much better use of Bianca's character.

Thank you so much for sharing it with me.

#WOW #I seriously wish you had a Tumblr because I just know you would post the most interesting takes #anon tag #asks #pjo meta #nico di angelo #bianca di angelo #hazel levesque #rick riordan #riordanverse #nico di angelo headcanon #bianca di angelo headcanon #hazel levesque headcanon #riordanverse headcanon #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #hoo

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dreaming-of-assclass · 3 years

Note

Can you do hc’s on class 3-e groups babysitting Karasuma’s and Irina’s daughter? Love your work ❤️❤️❤️

Sure!! Thank you so much! 💞💞

Group 1

Bro. You already KNOW Yada and Kurahashi are gonna be her godmothers

They babysit her all the time!! They adore her! And of course they wanna help out their mentor if they can.

They’re definitely the favs and the top 2 choices haha.

Maehara and Isogai are also great babysitters! They naturally are so good with kids, esp bc of Isogai’s little siblings

Maehara encourages chaos though of course. Like he’ll tell her to bend rules and such.

Ehhh ofc she loves Kataoka but it’s a lil hard sometimes since she is more strict, and not very used to kids.

Kimura isn’t allowed to babysit her alone. He’s a gremlin and will take advantage of having sole influence over a child who isn’t as scared and timid as his own brother. Aka he will make the daughter into a lil mini gremlin

Group 2

Surprisingly, Chiba is her favorite babysitter. He’s amazing with kids, esp girls since he has little sisters. He’s always super patient but still fun.

Nakamura and Fuwa babysit her together and it’s chaotic as hell. It happened once and then they weren’t allowed again. Karasuma came home to find his daughter suddenly a manga fan and aware of new explicit words.

Irina didn’t have much of an issue with it lmao

Hayami.....is just a bit awkward with kids haha. Well...a lot. She tries her best though, but she comes off a little too serious.

She finally gets a moment to shine when the daughter asks to play with her hair. Then they spend a whole afternoon giving each other new hairstyles and having fun.

The Art Trio also try their best, but they’re not really babysitter material lmfao. They try one time and the whole damn house nearly burns down

She still adores them though. She’s little but she already thinks of them as her endearingly idiotic uncles haha

Ritsu is like the perfect playmate for her!! Ritsu spends time with her to try and see more of how children act, to understand. She’s also perfectly down to play a myriad of games and entertain her! It’s really adorable when they hang out.

Group 3

One word: Hara

Their daughter LOVES her and will actually ask for her the most. Hara loves her too and is always down to volunteer if she can.

After her, I think Terasaka would be the most down to babysit. Remember he has a little sister and I HC him to be a little weak for children (also note the preschool ep)

He’s that goofy himbo uncle who will pick her up to sit on his shoulders and zoom around. If you laugh at him, he’ll get you back afterwards.

Itona is clueless. Poor boy just...isn’t sure how to engage, so he keeps a slight distance for a while. Until one day, Irina and Karasuma stumble onto the sight of him inventing new toys for her as gifts. Their daughter loves them so much.

Muramatsu bonds with her by sharing his interests. He teaches her culinary skills, how to fish, what kind of bait, etc. Someone has to tell him “Dude. I don’t think kids are gonna be super into your old man hobbies.”

#muramatsuwasoffended

Hazama, Takebayashi, and Yoshida are a lost trio. They don’t have much experience with kids. Hazama bonds with her first by reading to her and telling her stories. Takebayashi gets roped into playing doctor/science-y games with her.

And Yoshida just becomes like a big-brother-like figure to her. He’s pretty chill. It’s kind of like how he is with Hara’s little brothers UwU

Group 4

Sugino is her favorite!! He’s absolutely awesome with kids. She always has fun and stays in a good mood around him.

Likes teaching her baseball! A lot of times you’ll see him crouching in front of her with a pitching glove while she hits with a tiny lil bat

Nagisa is her number 1 tutor of course. He’s the only one she actually likes studying with just because he always makes it enjoyable

Kayano has self-proclaimed herself as the “dramatic af wine aunt” even when she’s still a minor lmao. But she grows up to be just like that lol

Practices her lines with the kid sometimes as a way they bond. Between Irina and Kayano’s influence, you already know this kid is gonna be a diva.

Kanzaki joins Kayano and she is hardly any better tbh. Will teach her how to play so many games and hacking tips. Also some more creative ways to mess with annoying boys.

Yeah the Irina/Kayano/Kanzaki influence will be very strong lmaooo

Okuda is a little timid whenever she’s around her. She’s kinda anxious and isn’t sure what to talk about, if she seems too weird, etc. Poor girl is a bit self-conscious.

The kid (who is very perceptive thanks to her mom) notices this and initiates first by asking Okuda to have a tea party with her. And from there, these two get along really well!

Okuda loves sprinkling in science facts throughout their games, and the kid actually finds them very interesting! It’s super cute.

#assclass #ansatsu kyoushitsu #assassination classsroom #3-e

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amjustagirl · 3 years

Text

Chapters: one. ~ two. ~ three. ~ four. ~ five. ~ six. ~ seven.

Wordcount: 3.6k

Masterlist link here

AO3 Link here

Genre / Pairing: Romance, Akaashi / Reader

Summary:

Loosely based on the anime filme ‘Your Name’, also known as Kimi No Nawa.

Akaashi Keiji catches glimpses of another life in his dreams. He dreams of fields of endless gold, of constellation of stars that light up the night sky. He hears the echo of birdsong in her laughter, her songs to the gods in the wind.

Author’s note: This fic is a little different from my usual work, so I’m a little nervous about publishing it. If you do like it, would love if you leave a comment / reblog / anything!

Pro tip: Italics denote scenes in Akaashi’s dreams / past.

If you’d like to be included in the taglist, do drop me a msg/ask!

He is seventeen again.

Practice is hard especially with his new captaincy, with first years to train and a mountain of paperwork to clear, but even as each jolt of the train home settles exhaustion further into his bones, he’s more concerned at the sustained silence from her. His phone is empty of her text messages - no funny stories, no silly jokes, no pictures of sun drenched flower fields - but he tells himself she’s fine, she’s probably occupied herself with something vaguely illegal that she’ll tell him later about and laugh away his disapproval.

He’s in the middle of dinner when his father turns on the television to watch the news. It’s just background noise, newscasters droning on about which dignitary is visiting Tokyo this week, how the stock markets are doing, when monsoon storms are forecasted to sweep across Japan, but his interest is piqued when the newscasters mention ‘the tragedy of latchkey kids - the death of a schoolgirl in a rural Hokkaido town’.

It can’t be, he thinks, swiveling around in his seat to stare at the screen. It can’t be, he thinks, in frozen shock, as the screen shows a familiar wooden house in flames, broadcast live on national TV.

‘The police are investigating this tragedy as an unsolved murder -’

(It can)

‘The victim was seventeen years old -’

(It is)

‘Calling for any witnesses to step forward -’

(She’s dead)

‘Keiji, what wrong?’ he faintly hears his mother ask, and he looks down. His chopsticks lie slack in his hand, the other hand clenched and trembling so hard he’s knocked his bowl over, rice spilling onto the dinner table.

‘Sorry - I don’t feel so good’, he mutters, stumbling his way into the bathroom, his stomach retching at the horror tearing down his throat like acid. Even as he clutches the cold porcelain with shaking hands to empty his stomach of its contents, his gut burns from the realization that she’s gone - there’s nothing he can do about it.

Wait a minute.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, sprinting to his bedroom to snatch up his omamori, before bursting out of the door, deaf to his parents’ worried shouts. He doesn’t stop running, doesn’t even stop to take a breath until he’s leapt up all twenty six steps to the shrine where he first prayed to the gods to grant his wish for more time, a wish binding their souls together in a fated knot.

(Except that’s not true anymore, because she’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead - unless he can use their bind to twist fate and bring her back from the dead)

His hands are numb when he claps them together, his head spinning as he bows, fingers barely able to grasp as he scrawls another prayer on the ema, hanging the wooden plaque on the wishing tree.

‘You’ve already upended my life by tangling it up with hers. Please - please grant my wish and I’ll give up anything, including what’s dearest to me’, he silently pleads, closing his eyes in prayer.

But the gods stay silent. The shrine remains still.

The shrine attendant chases him out when it’s closing time, and he fends off his parents’ concerned looks by feeding them a lie about forgetting to help one of his teammates with homework, shutting himself in the room.

But the problem is he can’t seem to fall asleep, not when the image of a white sheet draped over her cold body is branded into the back of his eyelids. Not when he can still hear the echo of her laughter as she teases him about his old fashioned book recommendations that she still ends up reading curled up under a tree. Not when his soul has traced the constellation on her back, the crescent dimple in her right cheek -

Damn it all - he needs to fall asleep to have any chance of waking up in her body in her yesterday or is it her today - he’s not sure, doesn’t dare look at the clock for fear of chasing sleep further away, why can’t he fall asleep - he’s done this countless times before, waking up in her body in her yesterday while she wakes up in his today which resets when he then wakes up in his own body tomorrow -

Time flutters through his fingers like fallen petals scattering in the wind and he can tell from the growing sliver of light through his curtains that it’s almost daybreak - so he stumbles desperately into the bathroom to break into his mother’s medicine cabinet, swallowing twice the recommended dosage. It’s dangerous he knows, but he can’t bring himself to even think twice about it.

A prayer is still on his lips when his eyes finally drift shut and sleep finally overtakes him.

He cracks his eyes open.

Ah, he’s in her living room. She must have just reached home from school because the irori only emits thin ribbons of smoke, flames licking the kindling in the heath. But that doesn’t explain why he’s lying face down in the dust -

Then a dull pain hits him. Copper pools in his mouth. Hot liquid drips down his forehead.

He curses the gods for their sick sense of humour.

‘What are you doing here, Keiji?’ he hears her whimper. ‘You aren’t supposed to be here, he’s going to end up killing us both.’

‘Let’s not jump ahead of ourselves. Tell me what happened’, he answers, trying his best to inject a commanding tone to cover up the fear seeping into his words.

‘Hana-chan must have told her father I managed to get records of whatever awful shit he’s been doing to her, because he was waiting for me when I came home from school. I refused to give the recordings to him and tried to bite his hand and I guess he lost his temper…’

‘We need to have a conversation about your lack of self-preservation when we get out of this mess’ he points out, terror building up in his throat when he’s suddenly aware of the way his arms are twisted behind his back, cloth rope binding his wrists together in place. But before he can even try to struggle against the binds, he’s pinned in place by a knee on his back.

‘Awake already, little girl? I would’ve thought you would stay asleep a little longer considering how much you bleed from a silly little smack on the head.’ Nakamura chuckles, threading his cold fingers into his hair, and with a swift flick of his wrist, slams his face back against the floor.

Crack.

Akaashi gasps for air, dazed at the pain that blooms across his face.

‘You’re not as pretty as my little Hana-chan, but it would be a pity to smash your face in. So are you going to tell me where you’ve hidden your dirty little recordings, little thief?’ Nakamura coos, and Akaashi can feel the hair at the back of his neck rise in alarm.

‘Don’t give in to him’, she shrieks, her panic echoing in his mind. But Akaashi’s in the driver’s seat this time, and he’ll be damned if he lets her die on his watch - not when he already knows the pain of losing her once before.

Think, Akaashi. You have a brain, think!

‘It’s on my phone in my bedroom’, he mumbles thickly, keeping his voice weak. ‘You can go get it yourself.’

Nakamura relinquishes his grasp on his hair, brushing the dirt from his pants onto him. ‘I’m glad you have some sense at least, little lady. But if I find you’ve been wasting my time, I’ll make sure no one even recognises your face by the time I’m done with you’.

Akaashi waits for his footsteps to fade.

Then he rolls his body across the flow, tipping himself straight into the irori. This probably ranks as one of the most reckless things he’s ever done in his entire life, but it’s not as if he has many options with both his hands and feet bound. It’s also possible he’s been infected by her particular strain of insanity. It’s the only way he can think of to break loose from his bonds, using the flames to singe through the rope binds, but it hurts to place naked flame directly on bare flesh, blisters forming and popping and he bites down on his lip so hard it bleeds because oh gods it hurts, it hurts, it hurts –

Thank the gods it works, he’s able to wriggle free - not a moment too soon because he can hear the door to her bedroom crash open. Between the daze from the concussion and blood loss, he’s not going to be able to outrun Nakamura to get to safety, especially not when he’s in her body, what the hell is he going to do –

‘Store room’, he hears her gasp.

He grits his teeth as he crawls out of the heath, mentally calculating the distance to the back of the kitchen, divided by the blistering pain in his hands and feet.

’Move, Keiji!’ She shrieks, the thud of heavy footfalls resounding through the house ominously.

Adrenaline and terror floods his blood. It’s barely enough to fuel his sprint to the storeroom. He doesn’t dare to look back when Nakamura snarls - ‘what the fuck are you doing, you piece of shit’, only stops to breathe when the lock clicks in place. But he doesn’t get a moment’s reprieve, the door shuddering with the weight of a deranged man’s rage.

‘It would be easy for me to burn the house down with you in it. No one would question any foul play if a wooden house goes up in flames. Or would you prefer it if I wait for little Toya-chan to get home and bash his little head in? It’s your choice, bitch.’

‘What should we do?’ he asks her desperately.

‘You’re going to think I’m crazy... ’

‘Let’s not waste time on foregone conclusions, thanks.’

‘Right. Remember how I told you fire is life?’

It’s a testament to how well he knows her that he knows exactly what she means. ‘You’ve got to be joking.’ He breathes, horrified.

‘Do you have any other ideas?’ she retorts.

But she’s right, they’re essentially stranded on a flaming shipwreck, there’s nowhere else for them to run. Cursing the gods over and over again for their twisted sense of humour, Akaashi scrabbles around the store room, grabbing the ingredients to light this powder keg of an escape plan.

‘Ready?’

‘Ready when you are.’

‘Okay’ he says, taking a deep breath in a futile attempt to keep his anxiety at bay. ‘Okay’ he repeats, loud enough for Nakamura to hear him through the door. ‘I’ll unlock the door if you leave Toya alone’.

‘Smart girl.’ He can hear the menacing chill in the older man’s voice, but there’s no time to second guess his decision as he unlocks the door. He lets Nakamura make the first move, lets him yank the door open, and with the benefit of years of setting experience (thank you, Bokuto-san), he flicks his wrist to send a perfect arc of an entire bottle’s worth of liquid petrol splattering against Nakamura’s front.

‘Stand back or I’ll set you on fire’ he threatens, holding her ridiculous pink lighter like a weapon as Nakamura splutters in shock.

But the man only shakes off his surprise with a menacing laugh, slowly straightening into his full height, leaning against the door. ‘You don’t have it in you, little girl, you’re just like my Hana-chan. She used to put up a fight, always trying to scratch my eyes out but now she’s learnt that little girls should be good and docile - ‘

He can feel the brewing firestorm of rage from her. It’s not unwarranted, not when he’s seen through her eyes the abuse Hana’s suffered at his hands and in a spurt of impulsivity that shocks even himself, he surges forward to grab the man’s shirt, the naked flame from the lighter mere millimeters away from his face. ‘How dare you, disgusting pig - she’s your flesh and blood’, he spits.

Nakamura grins, deranged. ‘Exactly. She’s mine to use, and you’re going to regret ever trying to get in my way.’ He slams his head against Akaashi’s already broken nose (or rather - her nose) and - oh gods pain bursts across his face and he trips, falling onto his back. Nakamura doesn’t waste any time, climbing on top of him, fingers digging into his throat.

‘Let go of me’, he rasps, his vision starting to blur. Nakamura only tightens his grip, nails digging into the tender flesh of his neck.

But even with air being choked out of his lungs, her refrain ‘fire is life’ smolders in his mind. The gods must feel some pity for him today because Nakamura is so intent on going for his throat that he’s left his hands unchecked, so he closes his eyes in prayer and desperation, twisting his face as far away from his target as possible and presses his thumb on the lever on her lighter -

Everything goes up in flames.

Nakamura screams, stumbling away, and the sound should spark a sense of cruel satisfaction if blinding pain exploding in his face weren’t a more immediate concern. There’s fire everywhere, and it hurts, it hurts, it hurts - but he already knows what hell feels like, this is nothing compared to the nightmare of her dying, so he gathers the last of his strength to fight against the ash suffocating the oxygen from his lungs, stumbles out of the backdoor to drop and roll in the mud until the flames on his clothes recede.

He’s alive. She’ll survive.

But it's at a high cost - the white hot pain of blistering burns all over his - well, her body slamming into him like a freight train when adrenaline recedes. Gasping in pain, he welcomes the gathering darkness at the edges of his vision. He tries not to think of the survival rate of burn victims, nor the risk of infection should medical treatment not be administered soon enough - this is as far as he can possibly go. He lies on his back, completely depleted.

The grass rustles. The wind blows.

Toya stands over him, eyes wide. ‘Nee-chan, what’s going on?’

Oh. Thank the gods.

‘Toya. You have to run and get help, ok?’ he manages to rasp before darkness finally devours him, swallows him whole.

He opens his eyes and finds himself back in the forest shrine.

It takes him a split second to gather his bearings before he leaps to his feet, his lungs still burning from the taint of smoke, his mouth still acrid with the bitter taste of ash, and he doesn’t know if either of them are alive or heaven forbid - if he failed and she’s dead –

‘Keiji, you idiot!’ He hears her shriek as he’s tackled from behind, crashing face first into the forest floor.

He’ll thank the gods again and again for the rest of his life because -she’s alive, she’s alive, she’s alive -

She throws herself into his lap, crying as she beats her fists against his chest. ‘You fool! You dummy! You scold me for being reckless, but what if you died when your soul was stuck in my body –‘

‘You’re alive’, he breathes in disbelief, cupping her face in his shaking hands, letting the warmth from her cheeks bleed into his skin.

She flushes, burying her head into the crook of his neck. ‘You’re not getting out of being scolded but yes, I think so’, she mumbles, her words muffled.

His heart grows cold. ‘What do you mean you think so?’

‘Where we are isn’t real - is it?’

She motions for him to be silent, to listen. There's the faint beeping of a hospital monitor, barely discernible over the whispering of leaves. ‘I think we’re in my mind for now. Or my consciousness, I’m not sure. I woke up to a bright light that beckoned me to follow it, but I saw you lying here and wanted to wait for you.’

Fear grips his heart, the spectre of black smoke and white sheets haunting him anew. ‘Don’t follow it’, he demands, latching on to her shoulders. ‘I’m not losing you again.’

‘I’m not going anywhere’, she promises with a smile, the sight quenching the fear in his heart. ‘I’m here, Keiji. I’m here. You said you wouldn’t let anything happen on your watch, remember?’

‘That was before you got yourself killed when I wasn’t looking’, he retorts dryly, though he’s unable to fully smother the smile blooming on his face.

‘It wasn’t my fault!’

‘I told you not to get caught in the first place!’

‘Yeah - but you came for me nonetheless’, she says, eyes sparkling. ‘You came for me, like Perseus saving Andromeda from her shackles, snatching her from the very jaws of the sea monster.’

He chuckles, amused that she remembers the stories he tells her. ‘Nakamura was definitely uglier than a sea monster, so I’m sure that’s an accurate comparison. ’

‘Stupid!’ she laughs, raising her hand to playfully smack him again when he catches her hand in his. He steals a moment to marvel at the constellations in her eyes, wondering if the stars in the sky are jealous of her light. He wants to bask in the spotlight of her warmth and songs and laughter forever and oh gods -

He’s in love with her.

The realisation strikes him like a hammer blow to the chest.

Has it already been a year that he’s spent mapping out the infinite breadth and depth of her soul? A year that he’s spent watching her wield her kindness like a sword and a shield. A year that fate has spent trying to smother her fearlessness to no avail - she still burns like an undying flame in the night sky. A year of unwritten poetry buried in spring flowers, stanzas of the wind echoing her songs to the gods. A year's worth of lessons in patience and exuberance and laughter, reminding him that life is a miracle to be treasured and not to be dismissed as a mere series of goals.

It is only now that he understands why his heart crumbled into dust, why his soul tore itself apart when he found out that she died - because he loves her, this silly scrap of a girl.

Her eyes widen as he tugs her forward to lean his forehead against hers. For once she’s at a loss for words.

I love you – he wants to whisper against the rosebud of her lips, wants to shout it loud enough for the whole forest – nay, for every speck of stardust in the galaxy to hear. His mouth moves to form the words, but suddenly his tongue grows thick, his mouth goes dry.

His heart stutters to a painful stop.

He can’t remember her name anymore.

He tries to say her name again, tries to spell out the syllables with his tongue but it’s no use, his mind remains stubbornly blank. It can’t be. He must have said her name a thousand times in this lifetime, recited each syllable like a sacred verse.

How could he have forgotten her name?

‘What’s wrong?’ She pulls away, noticing the horror taut on his face.

Beep.

He looks down at his hands. Flesh and bone start to fade to dust.

‘Keiji’, she calls, and he can hear the Kodama in the trees echo his name. Keiji, they call. Keiji, she calls again.

Beep.

‘I’m starting to forget you’, he whispers, heart breaking anew as despair dawns in her eyes.

‘No - ’ she cries, desperation in her voice, repeating his name again and again - Keiji, Keiji, Keiji and he wants to respond with her name, but he can’t, he can’t, he can’t -.

Beep.

His memories of her are golden hued and bathed in starlight, but slowly they all wash away into shades of grey. He tries his best to grasp onto them, but it’s hopeless -like trying to capture the sea with his bare hands.

Beep.

He thinks of her, dancing in grassy meadows, with moonbeams as her lone light.

Beep.

He thinks of her, singing to the gods in the shadow of the forest shrine.

Beep.

He thinks of her, brimming with laughter and joy and kindness and love - and gods -

Beep.

How is it even be possible to forget the birdsong in her laughter, the blossoms in her cheeks -

Beep.

‘Keiji! ’ She reaches desperately for him, tears spilling from her eyes.

Beep.

His time runs out. His soul starts to fade into the night.

Beep.

Her eyes shine bright, the constellations liquid silver in her eyes.

‘I’ll find you, Akaashi Keiji - even if it takes me a hundred lifetimes, even if I have to wait a thousand years. So you better be ready for me when I find you, because - because I love you - I love you, you fool.’

Beep.

It’s the last memory he forgets of her, her vow losing its light in the darkness of his mind.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

He wakes up with a gasp.

He is twenty five again, lying on the forest floor with a halo of fireflies dancing above his head.

It’s been almost a whole decade since he was seventeen but finally - he remembers her.

Taglist

@animeflower26 @forgetou @kageyamakock @underrated-fruit-tarts-official @bongofrito

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richincolor · 3 years

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March Reading

It’s getting to be spring where I am, which means bright green leaves, flowering trees, and sliiightly warmer weather. It also means a slew of books coming out in March that I am beyond excited for — and I bet you’re probably excited for these books too! Let us know what YA books you’re looking forward to reading this spring! Here’s my March TBR pile of most anticipated books!

Ravage the Dark by Tara Sim

For seven long years, while she was imprisoned on a debtor’s ship, Amaya Chandra had one plan: to survive. But now, survival is not enough. She has people counting on her; counting on her for protection, for leadership, for vengeance. And after escaping Moray by the skin of her teeth, she’s determined to track down the man who betrayed her and her friends: Boon.

Cayo Mercado has lost everything: his money, his father, his reputation. Everything except his beloved sister. But he’s well on his way to losing her, too, with no way to afford the treatment for her deadly illness. In a foreign empire also being consumed by ash fever, Cayo has no choice but to join Amaya in uncovering the mystery of the counterfeit currency, the fever, and how his father was involved in their creation. But Cayo still hasn’t forgiven Amaya for her earlier deception, and their complicated feelings for each other are getting harder and harder to ignore.

Through glittering galas, dazzling trickery, and thrilling heists, Cayo and Amaya will learn that the corruption in Moray goes far deeper than they know, and in the end the only people they can trust are each other.

When We Were Infinite by Kelly Loy Gilbert

All Beth wants is for her tight-knit circle of friends — Grace Nakamura, Brandon Lin, Sunny Chen, and Jason Tsou — to stay together. With her family splintered and her future a question mark, these friends are all she has — even if she sometimes wonders if she truly fits in with them. Besides, she’s certain she’ll never be able to tell Jason how she really feels about him, so friendship will have to be enough.

Then Beth witnesses a private act of violence in Jason’s home, and the whole group is shaken. Beth and her friends make a pact to do whatever it takes to protect Jason, no matter the sacrifice. But when even their fierce loyalty isn’t enough to stop Jason from making a life-altering choice, Beth must decide how far she’s willing to go for him—and how much of herself she’s willing to give up.

From award-winning author Kelly Loy Gilbert comes a powerful, achingly romantic drama about the secrets we keep, from each other and from ourselves, perfect for fans of Permanent Record and I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter.

Lost in the Never Woods by Aiden Thomas

Out March 23rd!

When children go missing, people want answers. When children go missing in the small coastal town of Astoria, people look to Wendy for answers.

It’s been five years since Wendy and her two brothers went missing in the woods, but when the town’s children start to disappear, the questions surrounding her brothers’ mysterious circumstances are brought back into light. Attempting to flee her past, Wendy almost runs over an unconscious boy lying in the middle of the road, and gets pulled into the mystery haunting the town.

Peter, a boy she thought lived only in her stories, claims that if they don’t do something, the missing children will meet the same fate as her brothers. In order to find them and rescue the missing kids, Wendy must confront what’s waiting for her in the woods.

#ravage the dark #lost in the never woods #when we were infinite

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ashesandhackles · 4 years

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Shigure and Mayu - Quick Musings

The one thing I see the fandom often swings in how to read is why Shigure dated Mayu. People see him as this 4D chessmaster who wanted to keep Mayu close for Hatori because he thought Kana wasn't going to last against Akito - personally, I think that's a little too far fetched. Not only because Akito's first violent act is against Hatori, so they have no way of knowing how badly Akito is going to react. Although Shigure seems to have an inkling that she would react badly (just not how badly) and is around to intervene.

So why does Shigure date Mayu? When his friends bring it up, he is a little embarrassed of it "well I was young" (thanks to one of @lilbeehive posts that brought this to my notice). The only conclusion you can draw from that is that it was a whim, but a whim he indulged out of his loneliness. He saw Mayu's loneliness and her desperate love for Hatori, and he empathized. He knew what it is like to love someone who feels out of reach. The things he says to get under her skin hit a little too close to his own feelings about the situation with Akito and Kureno: "Don't you feel stupid? The two of them seem to have found their own happiness. You are the only one that is holding on. Don't you feel lonely?". (The online translations are a little varied, but that is in effect, conveys this).

I also find it interesting (and dick-ish) that he puts her in a space where she has to be honest with him, but doesn't allow her the same kind of honest look into himself. She reads him well anyway . When he asks her "why don't you just steal him?" - he is being a dick, trying to get a rise out of her to figure her out. However, she is so disarmingly honest about her insecurity ("how can I win against Kana?") and her selflessness ("I want them to be happy") that I think, intrigues him. Intrigue, boredom and restlessness with the closeness of Akito and Kureno at that time (we can assume), makes him ask her out.

Another example of Shigure putting Mayu in a space where she spells out her feelings is this, when she grabs his shirt. Nakamura's reading of this line (he really, really gets Shigure), is he knows what she is doing, but he is a dick and wants to hear her say it. She refuses to indulge that, because now the relationship has come to a point where it is just making her more lonely. So she is not going to be vulnerable with him. For someone who doesn't know a lot about him, she has a pretty fair reading of him to come up with the "ripple on water" analogy.

Also, he snuck Mayu in to the estate so she could meet Kana and the scene even shows him saying that he advised her against it. That is a little out of the way for him to do. So personally, I think he is a little fond of her and sees her as an extension of Hatori, Ayame circle. A peer. (Unlike Kazuma, who he treats with a lot of respect). My feeling about this is further solidified in how he talks to her after the parents teacher conference, when she tells him he needs to be kinder to Tohru. And what he tells her is pretty much what he honestly thinks - that he is being good to Tohru, all things considered. And Mayu, who has his number, calls him out: "I doubt you are even kind to people you love" and Shigure smiles. This kind of honesty in a scene is only seen in his scenes with Hatori, although he is far more mean spirited around Hatori because they both know each other too damn well to mind being cutting with each other. He is less cutting around Mayu, because Mayu doesn't know stuff about him that hits too close to his nerves. Hatori does. So he can be honest with her in a roundabout way.

Now on to personal headcanon time - because Takaya had a very interesting note about Mayu in her side columns -" a kind of woman who regrets she wasn't born a man". It's an interesting note and it reflects in the kind of ambivalent clothing choices Mayu makes. She is a character who doesn't present herself as conventionally feminine and guess which other character has a far more troubled relationship with their femininity? Akito. I think that also feeds into my idea of why Shigure approached her in the first place and then asked her out - a lonely intriguing woman he empathized with (and also finds fun to tease). The same woman he brought back into Hatori's life, when he thinks Hatori is ready, because he believes they would be good for each other.

Shigure x Mayu is a good rarepair and someone needs to explore them more in fanfiction space. :D

#shigure sohma #mayuko shiraki #shigure x mayu #fruits basket shigure #fruits basket season 2 #fruits basket spoilers #fruits basket mayu #otp: ripple on the water

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kurokoros · 4 years

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some like it hot (1/4) | todoroki x reader x bakugou

Rated: T (bakugou’s dirty mouth, sexual humor)

Words: 9.3K

Pairing: shouto todoroki x fem!reader x katsuki bakugou

Summary: A Charity Fundraiser leads to you going home with not one, but two of the most popular Pro Heroes of your generation. They say some like it hot, and you certainly aren’t complaining.

AKA: a totally not self-indulgent threesome fic

AN: Well, this isn’t what I was expecting to write, but here we are! I was just planning to write a pwp threesome fic but now there are feelings involved, and this is my life now. Also available on AO3. Ask to be added to the tag-list. Chapters will be weekly until completion! Thanks in advance for reading! Note, this does start with a flash forward. A note: the reader does have a name used only in dialogue because I hate using “Y/N” in fics. Both names are puns. “Yuna” = Y/N, and the kanji in “Hikai” means “fire time”.

You can honestly say this wasn’t what you were expecting to happen tonight.

Chilled fingers follow the curve of your spine, starting at the base of your neck and trailing downward achingly slow. The hitch in your breathing is loud, and Shouto’s lips curve into a barely there smile against the back of your head. Deftly, he slips a finger between your shoulder and the pretty dress you’re wearing, teasing the soft skin there before you let him brush the fabric aside.

The straps of your dress slide down your arms teasingly, and a pair of narrowed, ruby red eyes immediately drag down your body, appraising you as more of your soft skin is revealed. Katsuki licks his lips as the silky fabric pools around your feet, expression nothing short of greedy as he watches the two of you, though he doesn’t move. Not yet. You shiver under his gaze and the icy kiss that Shouto presses against the side of your neck. Hands drag down your sides to grasp your hips, the difference in temperature between the two making you gasp and squirm, but Shouto holds you firmly against his chest.

The boys lock eyes over your shoulder. A silent agreement.

“All right, angel.” Katsuki’s voice is deeper than usual, and startlingly calm. “Be a good girl and moan for me an’ Icy Hot.”

Shouto huffs at the old insult, but then his teeth drag down the column of your throat and you do exactly as Katsuki demands, much to their amusement.

Chuckling to himself, Katsuki’s eyes rake over you again, taking in the lacy lingerie previously hidden beneath your dress, and the strappy high-heels that do little to keep you from being dwarfed by their heights. You swear his fingers spark as he grasps the front of his dress shirt, popping the buttons one by one. Patiently, Shouto’s left hand draws small circles against your hip, his right skimming the smooth skin of your stomach, trailing higher and higher until he’s grasping your chin between cold and calloused fingers.

They look at you like they want to devour you.

And you plan on letting them.

One Week Earlier

“Midoriya!” you snap, throwing open the door to the Pro Hero's office and letting it slam against the wall with a loud crack. Izuku’s head snaps up in surprise, big, green eyes locking with yours, and the intern sitting across from him releases a rather undignified squeak at your sudden intrusion.

Immediately, a grin spreads across Izuku’s face. “Oh, hey, Hikai—”

Your narrowed eyes and the manila folder pointed in his direction are a warning, and he shuts his mouth quickly.

“Don’t ‘hey’ me, Midoriya. I’ve told you at least a dozen times now to give me the list of agencies you want contacted for the charity gala next week. We need it finalized by the end of the day, or I swear...” You leave the threat hanging as you place your free hand on your hip, but you get the point across easily enough.

Realization dawns on Izuku’s face. His eyes widen further if possible, his mouth dropping open into a silent “oh” as his neck begins to flush. Across from him, Izuku’s intern Seiji Nakamura shifts awkwardly and glances between the two of you, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else as you chastise Deku, one of the top rising heroes of the new generation.

And chastise you will. Deku may be the Pro Hero, but you’re the one that runs this shit show.

“But, I thought…” Izuku trails off suddenly and rubs the back of his head, a sheepish look on his face.

You quirk a brow. “Thought what?” Your heel stops tapping against the floor impatiently when he sends you the best puppy dog look he can manage at twenty-three, which shouldn’t be nearly as effective as it is considering you’re both adults now. “Midoriya, just how many agencies were you planning on inviting this time?”

“... All of them?”

In response, your eye twitches. You highly consider smacking yourself with the folders still clutched in your right hand, but settle for pursing your lips at the pleading look he’s still sending you, hope shining in those big, green eyes. Even Seiji looks baffled by Izuku’s reply, blue eyes half-hidden behind a shaggy mess of dark, curly hair.

Honestly, you can’t say you’re all that surprised by the overzealous answer. After working with Izuku for three years and counting, it’s certainly something you’ve come to expect, though you can’t help but wish he would tone things down just a little. But Izuku has always had the most uncanny way of connecting with people and inspiring them, you included, and already, you find yourself thinking up ways to make this work in less than a week.

Ever since he opened his own agency three years ago, Izuku has always been adamant about including everyone in these charity events, despite any tensions that may exist between certain Pro Heroes. Somehow, he manages to curb any animosity with his sweet nature, flitting around between different groups of people and putting smiles on everyone’s faces. You’d think that was his quirk if you hadn’t seen him in action before.

Shaking your head, you level him with a tired look. You’ll have to call in a few favors. “You’re going to give me gray hairs someday, you know that?”

Izuku’s smile widens. “You’re the best, Hikai!”

“Don’t you forget it.”

You cross the short distance to his desk and set down the folders. His brows furrow and his head cocks to the side in confusion as he glances between you and the mysterious files. Casting a glance at Seiji, you decide to keep things vague. “These are the files you requested about the activity in Utapa. They’re ordered by urgency. Tsukauchi wants your answer by Friday at the latest.”

If Izuku is surprised, he manages not to show it. “Thanks, Hikai. Is there anything else?”

“Your meeting with Ground Zero and Shouto starts in an hour. Would you like me to just let them in?” The as usual remains silent.

Seiji perks up at the mention of the other Pros, just as popular and respected as Deku himself. When his eyes widen, you’re reminded that the previous meeting between the three Heroes was cancelled due to the recent disaster that destroyed much of the eastern coast. The last two weeks since Seiji joined them had been busy for everyone between rescue operations and a small spike in criminal activity, but things have finally begun to return to normal.

Nodding, Izuku offers you a smile. “You know how Kacchan is,” he says simply, making you roll your eyes.

Don’t you ever. Katsuki has been an absolute pain in your ass for years, always yelling and swearing and storming into Izuku’s office even though the polite thing would be to wait for permission. You’ve grown used to it, of course. It wasn’t easy coming to terms with the fact that you were friends with the huffy blond in high school on account of him being a reluctant extension of Izuku, but since then, you’ve grown to appreciate his friendship. He’s calmed down a lot over the years you’ve known him, and he begrudgingly weaseled his way into your heart after the two of you crushed the rest of his former classmates in beer pong.

At least Shouto is marginally more polite, if not closed-off and occasionally a little too brash, though he always means well. You’ve grown used to that, too.

In either case, you can’t say you mind the eye-candy.

“Though,” Izuku continues suddenly, an uncharacteristic flicker of mischief in his gaze, “I’m sure they’ll want to stop and talk to you first. It’s been a few weeks since they’ve been here. They probably miss you.”

You snort, momentarily forgetting about Seiji sitting beside you and blatantly ignoring Izuku’s comment, even as you feel yourself flush. “It hasn’t been that long,” you tell him, neglecting to mention that you recently went out for drinks with Katsuki and Kirishima and managed to snag a quick lunch with Shouto between the craziness of last week. Though, judging by the look in his eyes, Izuku must already know.

With that, you straighten and clear your throat. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some phone calls to make.”

Izuku’s amusement doesn’t fade as you stalk back out the door and close it behind you with a gentle click.

It’s nearly an hour later during a lapse between calls that you sigh and drop your head into your hands, silently lamenting your choice in career up to this moment. As much as you enjoy working with Izuku and other Pro Heroes, you could stand a few less calls with old men that think you don’t know how to do your job.

So far, you’ve barely made a dent in the amount of calls you have to make for this charity event. To have everything ready in less than a week will be a challenge, but you always have liked a little last-minute pressure. With the evacuations and rescues done, all that’s left is to provide financial support to those devastated by the recent tsunami, and that’s where you come in. You may not have a combat-oriented quirk fit for a Hero, but this is something you can do.

Leaning back in your chair, you stretch your arms above your head, relaxing for just a second before you have to make your next call. In the meantime, you glance at the report you’d been thumbing through earlier, a copy of Izuku’s statement from the last villain he fought. Just another thing you need to finish this afternoon.

You look over the file quickly, hardly hearing the tell-tale click of Izuku’s office door opening and closing.

Absently, your eyes flick away from the report as you hear the scuff of sneakers against the tile, catching sight of the newest addition to Deku’s Agency.

Izuku’s intern, Seiji, hesitates as he passes your desk, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye as he fidgets with his costume gloves. Momentarily, you’re reminded of how adorable and awkward Izuku was when you first met during the start of your second year at UA, and an unwitting smile curls on your lips.

“Can I help you, Nakamura?” you ask, pausing midway through the report laid out across your desk.

The teenage boy startles at the sound of your voice, eyes wide as he rips his gaze away from the clock. You press your lips into a tight line to keep from snickering with immediate understanding.

There are thirty minutes left until Katsuki and Shouto are supposed to meet with Izuku.

“Ah! No, everything is fine, Ms. Hikai!” he hurries to tell you, waving his hands in front of him frantically. Big, blue eyes meet yours as his face flushes with embarrassment that’s practically a carbon-copy of the expression your boss makes when he’s flustered. If you didn’t know better, you might think the two were related, though, you suppose that’s why they get along as well as they do.

Izuku isn’t exactly selective about taking on interns from UA, but you’d be blind not to see how easily the two of them clicked after they first met. Seiji Nakamura is only a first year, not the top of his class by any means, but with the same drive and determination that you saw in Izuku nearly a decade ago. It’s only his third week interning under the Pro Hero Deku, but already he’s improved greatly, becoming a welcome addition to the Agency.

You won’t be surprised if Izuku decides to take him on as a sidekick after he graduates.

Seiji shuffles his feet and casts another wistful glance at the clock, and you decide to take pity on the poor boy.

“Did Deku send you home for the day?” you ask, despite knowing the answer. You peer at him out of the corner of your eyes, pretending to go back to your reports.

Slowly, he nods.

“Good. Then you can help me finish filing the last of these reports.” You reach for another file. “What?” you continue when he gapes at you. “You didn’t think hero work was just beating up criminals, did you?”

“No, Ma’am!” he’s quick to sputter out, flushing all the way to the tips of his ears.

You grin. “Well, then you can help me with this for a few minutes.”

Seiji nods, eyes shining with familiar determination, and it isn’t long before he’s plopped onto a chair beside you, carefully filing a stack of reports sitting on the corner of your desk while you alternate between doing the same and making another series of quick phone calls.

It’s during another lapse in these calls that Seiji peeks at you over the top of the file he’s reading. “Ms. Hikai?” he asks, suddenly bashful again as he rubs the back of his head. “How long have you known Deku?”

Barely glancing up from your paperwork, you hum in thought. “Almost eight years now. We met as second years at UA.” Fondness tugs at you as you think about that time and everyone you’ve met as a result of a single random selection.

Seiji’s head tilts to one side curiously, his brows furrowing slightly. “But you weren’t in the hero department.”

“No, I was in the business department. Top of my class too,” you can’t help but tack on. His eyes widen at the new information. “At the start of our second year, the faculty wanted to create more unity within the student body, so students from each class were paired together for a group project. Midoriya and I just happened to be in the same group.” Your lips quirk upward as you reminisce, and you find yourself telling Seiji more than you meant to. “I already knew who he was, of course. Because of the previous Sport’s Festival and all of the trouble his class was constantly getting into. Though, I definitely wasn’t expecting to end up working at his Hero Agency eventually.”

You’d been working freelance half-way across the country when you got the call from Izuku about the agency he was opening and the offer of a job. You practically had to uproot your entire life at the time, but you would have been an idiot not to.

“Did you ever want to be a Pro Hero?”

Pausing, your eyes narrow as you think it over. “Doesn’t everyone?” you counter, only half-joking. “Honestly though? Not really. I’m happy with my job. I always knew I wanted to work with Heroes, not be one.” Glancing at the clock, you can’t help but sigh when you see the time. With a barely smothered groan, you grab your work phone off your desk and frown when you see the next name on your list.

Dialing the number, you start preparing for a major headache later.

“Mr. Fujikaze!” you greet as soon as he answers the phone. “This is Yuna Hikai from Deku’s Agency. I was wondering if I could have a word with you?”

“Mr. Fujikaze, I would appreciate it if you didn’t shout at me,” you state calmly despite the irritation threatening to creep into your tone. “I understand that this is short notice, but if you would please listen—”

You’re cut off by a snide retort you don’t bother listening to. Beside you, Seiji blanches, having grown startlingly pale over the duration of your conversation. Almost immediately after giving your name, the conversation took a sour twist. You were expecting it, given your previous experiences with the surly man, but that doesn’t make it any easier to tolerate.

You catch the tail end of some quip about him thinking Deku would hire a “more competent secretary,” and it takes a startling amount of willpower not to hang up on him right there. He knows damn well that you aren’t just some secretary. “Mr. Fujikaze, once again, I understand your frustration, but it’s important that you inform Nightwalker of the upcoming event. As a former Pro Hero, the show of public support would be instrumental towards—”

Another round of spiteful remarks makes you sigh. You’re so engrossed in the man yelling at you over the phone that you don’t hear the ding of the elevator until a loud scoff draws your gaze towards it. Seiji’s head whips around as well, his eyes widening comically as he realizes who’s there.

“You got stupid Deku’s interns doin’ your job now, sweetcheeks?” a familiar, gruff voice teases you. Heat licks up your spine as your eyes lock with ruby ones, a cheeky smirk already spreading across Katsuki’s face. To his right, Shouto shakes his head, but makes no comment when he sees you on the phone.

Ignoring them for the moment, you hold up a single finger to silence Katsuki’s next smartass remark. He grumbles something under his breath that you don’t catch, clearly put out by your easy dismissal.

But like Izuku said, neither one makes a move to head directly into his office, waiting patiently—if you could ever call Katsuki that—for you to finish your phone call.

“Sir, I understand—if you would let me finish—” You purse your lips at the mocking voice that cuts you off again. “Yes, I’m aware that Nightwalker is—” You yank the phone away from your ear as Mr. Fujikaze raises his voice again, this time louder than before. Loud enough for the two Pro Heroes standing across the desk to hear him.

Shouto’s heterochromatic eyes narrow and you swear the temperature drops sharply as he clenches his jaw. He takes a small step forward and you shiver, but before he can say anything, the phone is being ripped out of your hand.

“Bakugou!” you snap, glaring up at him in exasperation.

“Oi, dickhead!” Katsuki barks into the phone, taking a step back before you can grab your phone again. Your gaze cuts to Shouto for help, but he pretends not to notice, doing absolutely nothing to stop his companion’s irritated tirade. “Don’t fuckin’ yell at her just because she’s better at her fuckin’ job than you! And you work for a Pro? Fuckin’ pathetic.”

Fujikaze’s stuttered response is cut off with a click.

“Bastard,” Katsuki practically snarls, glaring down at the now silent phone like he’s thinking about exploding it into tiny pieces.

Utterly unimpressed, you roll your eyes and hold out your hand for your phone, fingers wiggling impatiently until Katsuki huffs and drops the device onto your waiting palm. “As eloquent and to the point as always, Bakugou. And how many times have I told you to stop with the pet-names while I’m working? This is a professional setting, you know.”

He snorts and crosses his arms. “Bastard had it comin’, sweetcheeks,” he says, blatantly ignoring you. Asshole.

“You realize I’ll just have to call him back and apologize for that, right?” you ask, one eyebrow quirking slightly. A hint of amusement curls at your lips despite everything, and a familiar, pleasant warmth floods through you as he stares just a little too long.

“Whatever,” Katsuki grumbles, looking far too pleased with himself for telling someone off.

Instead of arguing with him further, you turn to his quieter companion. Your smile only widens when you find him already staring back. Shouto’s mouth curves up slightly at the edges and he nods, casually slipping a hand into the pocket of his dark jacket—which looks sinfully good on him. Neither of them have any business looking that good in casual wear, you think, trying not to stare at the collarbones revealed by Shouto’s plain v-neck or the biceps Katsuki has on display.

If you didn’t know better, you’d think they were doing it on purpose.

“Hikai.” It’s a simple greeting, more formal than Katsuki’s because you’re both working, but there’s something overwhelmingly soft about the way he says it. You’ve always liked the way your name sounds on his lips.

“Todoroki,” you say in return, the ghost of a smile flickering across your lips as you tease him. “How many times will I have to tell you to call me Yuna?”

Mirth flickers in those blue and gray eyes. “At least one more.”

Katsuki snorts, but by the time your eyes flicker back to him, he’s already frowning down at the nervous child seated beside you. “Who the hell are you?” he asks bluntly, as if he’s already forgotten that Seiji is Izuku’s intern who you’re positive that either you or Izuku have mentioned to the grouchy blond before.

You don’t notice the look that Shouto sends Katsuki.

“Don’t be rude, Bakugou,” you chastise, clicking your tongue at him. He doesn’t even pretend to look apologetic.

Luckily, Seiji doesn’t seem discouraged by the attitude. He practically scrambles out of his chair after the Ground Zero addresses him, nearly dropping the files he was going through before the two Pros stepped in. “I’m Seiji Nakamura, Mr. Ground Zero, sir!” he sputters out, reaching across the desk with one hand for Katsuki to shake. “It’s nice to meet you!”

You smother a laugh at Katsuki’s bewildered reaction to Seiji’s excitement, the high-schooler rambling slightly as he gushes about both Pro Heroes, much to your amusement.

Shouto cuts Seiji off gently. “Sunspot, correct?” At the wide-eyed look and quick nod from the teenager, Shouto hums in thought. “You did well at the Sports Festival,” he says. “It’s unsurprising that Midoriya took you as an intern.”

“You too,” Seiji says stupidly. A look of horror spreads across his face. “No, wait, I didn’t—I mean—obviously, you did well in the Sports Festivals a few years ago, Mr. Shouto. And I’m sure that Mr. Deku would have taken you on as an intern as well, but—”

He’s out of breath, and his face is starting to turn a rather dashing shade of scarlet by the time you place your hands on his shoulders, gently guiding him back onto his chair. You haven’t seen him this much of a jumbled mess of nerves since the day he first met Izuku. At least then the two of them were able to gush about each other.

“Deep breaths, Nakamura,” you murmur in Seiji’s ear, giving his arm a quick squeeze.

“Right,” he chokes out. He glances up at the amused pros and grabs another stack of reports, quickly burying his face in them to hide his flushed cheeks.

Yeah, he’s definitely Deku’s intern. While Shouto looks almost fond of Seiji’s Izuku-like ramblings, there’s a glint in Katsuki’s eyes that has your hands immediately going to your hips. “Don’t even think about it, Bakugou,” you warn him. “I won’t hesitate to kick your ass.” You know that look. And you’re not going to let him make fun of some poor kid.

He scoffs loudly at the threat. “Like you could.” He looks you up and down slowly, a cocky smirk on his face, and you shudder at the way those red eyes drag across your form shamelessly.

“Wanna bet?” you challenge teasingly, silently glad that your heels are giving you just a little extra height right now. “You scared, Ground Zero?” you continue when he chuckles under his breath.

Katsuki braces his arms against the top of your desk and leans forward until he’s in your face. “I’d like to see you try, short stuff,” he says, low and a little husky, and for a second, you think your brain might short-circuit.

Forcing your gaze away from Katsuki’s teasing one, your eyes end up finding Shouto. He’s standing a little straighter than before, dual-colored brows furrowed as he stares at Katsuki with a flicker of irritation that disappears as soon as he feels your gaze on him. Those icy eyes flicker to you, unintentionally pinning you in place. Your breath catches.

Clearing your throat, you pull away from the magnetizing gaze as white hot electricity buzzes through you. “Midoriya is ready whenever you’d like to go in,” you inform them, hoping your voice sounds even. “He knew you were coming, so you shouldn’t need to knock.” With that, you reach for your phone again, debating if you should call back Fujikaze now or wait until he’s possibly calmed down.

Katsuki doesn’t let you get far. “Some assistant you are,” he drawls almost lazily, slipping a hand into his pocket. “Not even gonna let him know we’re here?”

From the corner of your eye, you see Seiji watching the three of you intently, his blue eyes jumping rapidly from you to Katsuki to Shouto in fascination. There’s a quip about Katsuki just wanting to stare at your ass on the tip of your tongue, but you bite it back, not wanting to taint the poor intern’s virgin ears. Besides, you have to remain at least somewhat professional, even if these are your friends.

You glare at Katsuki as you shift out from around the desk. Your heels click against the tile floor as you walk towards Izuku’s office. Behind you, their steps are quieter, muffled, but still recognizable. Katsuki’s self-satisfied smirk is something you can practically feel against your back.

Knocking twice on the door before opening it, you pop your head in just in time to see Izuku gazing almost wistfully at an All Might action figure before he flushes and quickly shoves it back into the top drawer of his desk. You’re sure the amusement shows on your face when you tell him, “Ground Zero and Shouto are here to see you, Deku.”

His eyes light up when he sees the men standing behind you. “Kacchan! Todoroki!”

“What did I tell you about calling me that? Fuckin’, Deku,” Katsuki grumbles as you step out of the way to let him through. He’s glaring at Izuku half-heartedly, much to Izuku’s amusement, and you roll your eyes as you twist on your heel to return to your desk while the longtime rivals start to argue playfully.

You gasp as you nearly crash into Shouto’s chest, the Hero closer than you thought. A big hand reaches out to steady you as you wobble on your heels, his palm gripping your waist in a firm, yet gentle, hold. His touch is hot even through your dress, and you inhale sharply at the deliciously warm contact.

“Careful now,” he murmurs, voice deeper than usual. Izuku and Katsuki’s bickering seems muffled by the quiet lull of his voice. Humor flickers in Shouto’s eyes and, very carefully, he shifts you so that you’re almost blocked from looking into Izuku’s office. “You wouldn’t want to fall.”

It takes a second too long for you to find your voice. “You’re right,” you say a little breathlessly. He’s so close that you can smell his cologne, light and fresh, though you can’t quite figure out what it is. “Bakugou would never let me live it down.”

He doesn’t laugh, but you’ve known him long enough to recognize the amusement in his eyes. Slowly, and so gently that you almost don’t notice, his grip tightens on your waist.

“Oi, hurry the fuck up, Icy Hot!” Katsuki barks when Shouto hesitates too long in the doorway.

As usual, Shouto ignores him, still staring down at you with a look in his eyes that makes you shiver. The tip of his pinky brushes against your hip and you find yourself leaning into the gentle heat. His eyes rip away from yours as he clears his throat. Shouto glances behind you suddenly, and you follow his gaze to the intern still sitting behind your desk, awestruck and grinning like an idiot. You place a delicate hand on his bicep, drawing his attention away from the giddy teenager with a soft squeeze. “Something wrong, Shouto?”

His gaze snaps back to you as quickly as it left, and those mismatched eyes almost steal your breath as they jump between your own eyes and the fingers curled around his upper arm. Swallowing, he glances at Seiji once again.

When he does speak, his voice is low. Shouto’s breath tickles the shell of your ear, and you can hear the nearly imperceptible tinge of humor. “Is that Midoriya’s secret love child, or something?”

Barely smothering a giggle, you shove him towards Izuku’s office as you shake your head. His lips twitch into a barely there smile.

“Yuna,” he calls you back before you can slip away, the sound of your name on his tongue making heat curl through you. Shouto is as shameless as Katsuki in the way his eyes drag down your body, taking in every inch of you like he wants to commit everything to memory, and you can practically feel the path his eyes take like it’s a physical touch. By the time his eyes find yours again, your chest is tight with something you don’t want to put a name to. “You look beautiful today,” he tells you in a voice barely above a whisper.

Only then, does he let you go. Shouto’s hand falls back to his side, but the heat from his palm is still burning into your side, like fire left in his wake. Your hand slips from his arm just as slowly, trailing down the length of his arm so that your fingers brush before you let him go.

Shouto looks like he wants to say something else, but he shakes his head and offers you a small smile and a nod before stepping into Izuku’s office and walking over to his friends.

You close the door behind you, a shaky sound leaving you as you lean back against the solid surface.

Seiji is staring at you with wide eyes, his mouth open in a small “o”. When he realizes he’s been caught, he yelps and grabs the nearest file on the desk, opening it to a random page.

“Something wrong?” you ask.

“Nope!”

The rest of the day was a blur. Before you knew it, your paperwork was done, and it was time for you to leave, though you stayed to chat with Izuku a moment before leaving. His smile was tight all afternoon after Shouto and Katsuki left, and it stayed that way until the moment you stepped out the door.

You could hear the yelling earlier, mostly from Katsuki, of course, but you were surprised to hear a harsh edge to Shouto’s voice as he responded, even if you couldn’t make out what they were saying. At that point, you sent Seiji home, and the meeting between the three Heroes ended soon after, much earlier than usual.

Katsuki stormed out first, cursing under his breath and stomping towards the elevator. He barely spared you a glance as he left, but for a second, you thought his gaze softened when he saw you. Shouto was quieter as he left, a tightness around his eyes, but he nodded at you before disappearing after Katsuki.

Izuku didn’t mention whatever argument they must have had, and you didn’t press. It was none of your business.

You’re barely out of the office before your phone is ringing with the obnoxious tone that you reserve for one person. Fishing your phone from your purse, you’re quick to accept the call without a second thought. “Hello, Mina,” you greet the bubbly woman calmly as you cross the street.

“What are you wearing right now?” she asks, ignoring your greeting entirely.

A bemused frown slips onto your face, and you sigh. “Mina…” you trail off with a shake of your head. A small part of you wants to ask why she’s curious, but a larger part says it’s better not to question it. Mina has always been a little eccentric, which is something you’ve always loved about her, but sometimes it can be exhausting.

She giggles. You can practically picture the grin on her face. “I bet it’s something sexy,” she teases. “You aren’t wearing anything naughty, are you?”

“I just got off work,” you remind her, assuming that’s why she chose to call now. “What do you think I’m wearing?” Absently, you glance down at the plum colored dress you’re wearing: form-fitting and pretty, but still professional. Izuku isn’t strict when it comes to dress codes, but you have more than just your own image to worry about.

She scoffs. “I’ve seen your office clothes. It’s definitely something sexy. Not that I’m complaining, of course.” You hear the tell-tale sound of Mina flopping dramatically onto the nearest piece of furniture and roll your eyes. She sighs loudly. “Midoriya sure is lucky to get to see your pretty face every day.”

Your lips quirk into a smile without your permission. “Is there something you want or are you just trying to proposition me?”

“I mean if you want to…” she trails off suggestively.

A snort escapes you. “I don’t think Kirishima would like that very much,” you say, reminding her of her longtime boyfriend. The two have been dating since their third year at UA and are disgustingly cute together. Besides, you’d hate to be a homewrecker.

“He doesn’t have to know.” Mina giggles, only to stop abruptly with a gasp. “Oh! Better yet, maybe he could—”

You cut her off before she can finish the thought. “I’m hanging up now.”

It’s an empty threat, but Mina reacts immediately.

“No!” she whines, dragging out the word as long as she can. “I’ll behave!” Her try at sincerity is offset by the torrent of giggles she’s unable to smother, and you find yourself grinning as well. “Yaomomo wanted me to call and make sure you’re still on for tonight at her place. We know you’ve been busy with work and the charity event you’re planning for Midoriya, so if you can’t make it tonight, we totally understand, girl.” She pauses. “But if you cancel, Ochako and I are going to break into your apartment and kidnap you anyway.”

“That’s not very heroic of you, Pinky. Eraserhead would be so disappointed.” Frankly, you’re surprised Mina’s class didn’t send him into early retirement. “What was the plan for tonight again?”

“Movies, wine, and talking about boys. The usual.”

Perfect. That’s exactly what you need after… whatever it is that happened today. “You know what? That sounds great right now.”

Mina squeals. “Yay! Great! I’ll let Yaomomo know right away. What time do you think you’ll be over?”

You hum as you head for the train, trying to estimate the time. “Probably an hour? I have to drop off some files at home and change, but that should be it.”

“Perfect. Tsu got held up with Sirius—you know, wedding planning and all—and Toru has a date tonight, so it’ll just be the five of us.”

You grin. “I’ll bring the wine.”

It’s a few hours later when you find yourself squished onto a couch with Ochako and Kyouka, pleasantly tipsy as you listen to Mina dramatically recount the events of her recent date with Kirishima that somehow involved a one-hundred-and-twenty count pack of crayola crayons, an elderly chihuahua, and a leopard-print shower curtain—you’re a little afraid to ask the logistics of it all—when your phone vibrates in your pocket for what must be the fifth time tonight.

Finally resigning yourself to check your messages, you wiggle just enough to fish your phone out from under you as the conversation shifts to Toru’s date for the night. The newest message makes you smile immediately, a simple text from Izuku telling you to have fun tonight with too many emojis and exclamation points that you know the rest of the girls must have gotten, too. There’s also one from Iida reminding you to drink responsibly that has your eyes rolling, but it’s the last two notifications that make you freeze.

Shouto and Katsuki’s names make your stupid heart flutter on sight. The messages are virtually the same: have fun, be safe, and call if you’ll need a ride home after. You choke up as you glance over the texts again, your entire chest feeling uncomfortably tight, like there’s a sudden weight curling around your ribcage and squeezing. You blame the wine. The texts are nothing out of the ordinary. You’ve accepted rides from both of them before so tonight shouldn’t be any different.

But it is, a small part of you says. It’s different for you. But you’ve known them both too long to fuck up a perfectly good thing.

“What about you, babe?” Ochako leans over Kyouka to poke your arm, jolting you back to the conversation. “Any men in your life we should know about?”

With that thought in mind and the welcome distraction, you turn off your phone and shove it back into your pocket without responding, even though you know it’ll just make them worry. “Hardly. You know I don’t have time to date right now.” It’s not exactly a lie with how busy you’ve been, but it’s certainly not the main reason. “Besides, I’m not interested in anyone,” you continue.

Kyouka’s expression is sly when she glances at you over the rim of her drink. “That’s not what I heard from Denki. Apparently he saw some pretty interesting things last week. A lunch date, perhaps?”

“Kaminari is full of shit,” you remind her. Already you can feel a flush creeping down your neck. You didn’t know anyone saw you and Shouto. Not that it’s a big deal. Just two friends grabbing lunch. Nothing else.

On the other couch, Mina sits up with a loud gasp. “Wait, which one are we talking about? Bakugou or Todoroki? You’re such a player, Yuna!”

“Todoroki,” Kyouka says before you can protest. “But you’re right, Mina, Bakugou definitely likes her too.”

You roll your eyes. “He does not.”

Ochako leans forward to look at you, shaking her head. “Izuku seems to think Bakugou genuinely likes you.” Her smile widens mischievously. “Apparently, he’s very honest when he’s drunk.”

“Eiji told me the same thing,” Mina chimes in.

“Bakugou wants to fuck me, there’s a difference.” You only sound a little bit bitter when you say it, and the girls see right through you.

“I mean, you aren’t wrong,” Kyouka agrees begrudgingly, looking at you out of the corner of her eyes, “but he definitely likes you more than that. If you two just wanted to screw, I’m sure you would have done it by now.”

You make a face at that but can’t disagree as you reach for your wine glass, downing most of it because you’re definitely going to need it. A part of you hates that she’s right. You certainly could have had some hot, casual sex with Katsuki in the past. He’s never been shy about flirting with you, even if he used to be a hell of a lot worse at it, and you’ve never done a thing to deter him, but one or both of you have always backed off before it can get any further than that, unwilling to risk it. Katsuki is hot, sure, but not hot enough for you to sleep with your friend if it won’t go anywhere.

A low hum from across the room catches your attention. Your gaze flicks to Momo, who’s been quiet so far. There’s a contemplative look on her face, her eyes narrowed in deep thought and her lips set into a firm line. “As does Todoroki,” she says eventually. “We’ve all seen the way he looks at her.” Momo doesn’t elaborate at all, but Ochaoko, Mina, and Kyouka all nod like they know exactly what she means.

Mina looks at Ochako. “Didn’t Midoriya say they hugged today?” she asks, like you’re not sitting right there across from her. “Right there in front of his office? In front of his intern?” She glances at you then, mockingly scandalized. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“It wasn’t a hug,” you argue immediately. “It was…” you trail off awkwardly, trying to find the right word, but nothing better comes to mind. You can’t exactly explain what happened without making it sound like he cradled you in his arms while you felt up his biceps. “It wasn’t a hug,” you repeat as you cross your arms, pointedly not looking at any of them.

“Aww, you’re blushing!”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“So, which one would you rather see naked?”

That last one makes you nearly choke on your drink. “Mina!” Your wide-eyed look makes her cackle. She throws her hands up defensively at your glare. Kyouka and Ochako are already snickering at your expense, and you glare at them too. At least Momo has the decency to look scandalized by the unprovoked attack. Some friends you have.

“It’s a fair question!” Mina tucks her feet beneath her, cups her chin, and pretends to think, weighing her options. “Personally, I think I’d rather see—”

You groan. “Please stop talking.”

Kyouka shakes her head as she pulls her phone out of her pocket, glancing over a text quickly. “What would poor Kirishima say if he heard you thirsting over his friends like this?”

Mina shrugs. “He’d probably talk about their manly physiques.”

“Shit, you’re right. You got me there.” Kyouka sighs and sends a text before sliding her phone back into her pocket. She stands up suddenly, stretching her arms over her head and looking a little more flushed than she was a minute ago. “I’ll be back. Denki wants attention.” Carefully, she maneuvers around your legs, heading for the hallway.

“Don’t have phone sex in the bathroom again,” you call after her.

She flips you the bird.

Momo stands as well. “And I should go check on the brownies.” For a second, you swear she looks pointedly at Ochako, but then she smiles and claps her hands together and the moment is gone. Momo glances at her seat companion. “Mina, would you accompany me to the kitchen?”

“What? But I—”

“Shut it, Pinky,” Kyouka snaps from out in the hallway.

Mina pouts but allows Momo to pull her out of the living room and across the hall, the pair speaking in hushed whispers.

The sudden silence is heavier than normal. You glance across the couch to where Ochako is still sitting.

Ochako tucks her legs beneath her and looks at you from the other end of the couch. Her eyes are narrowed and there’s an unfamiliar pensive look on her face as she looks you up and down. You meet her stare with one of your own and cross your arms, daring her to say what’s on her mind now that the two of you are alone.

Never one to back down from a challenge, Ochako clears her throat. “You know,” she starts in a slow drawl, “Izuku told me something interesting today.” When you groan, a grin splits across her face, making her look very much like the cat that got the cream.

“Please, don’t,” you beg, downing the rest of your drink. You glance over your shoulder with a wince, suddenly glad that the other girls are gone.

Ochako continues as if you didn’t speak. “He said Bakugou and Todoroki have been having a…” she trails off, searching for the right word, “disagreement, so to speak. Apparently, things were a little tense during their meeting today.” Her mischievous smile disappears. “They’ve both been flirting with you for ages, you know. You can’t say you haven’t noticed either. Neither of them are exactly subtle about it.”

“I know.” You sigh and rake your fingers through your loose hair, fiddling with the rim of your empty glass with your free hand. Your own expression sobers and suddenly you wish you had another shot in front of you. “What am I supposed to do, Ochako?” you ask so softly she can barely hear you. “I don’t want to lead either of them on, but…”

You clam up before you can finish, already knowing how ridiculous you’ll sound once you say it out loud. It’s not something you’ve ever admitted to any of the girls, despite how often they tease you about the two powerhouses from their class.

“But?” Ochako prods gently, like she knows exactly what’s on your mind.

Another sigh. You set your glass down on the coffee table and curl your legs towards your chest, absentmindedly fiddling with the sleeve of your sweater. “I like both of them,” you say bluntly, grimacing as the words spill out. “I really do. And I know that makes me sound like some indecisive teenager going through an angsty phase—and I’m not going to sit here and whine and wax poetic about them, but they’re both great guys. You know that. They’re both intelligent and funny in their own ways. They’re great Heroes. Bakugou is… well, he’s Bakugou, but he’s charming in his own way. Todoroki is the same way. And, I mean, I’m not fucking blind, you know? They’re ridiculously hot, and it’s kind of unfair.” You finally force yourself to look at Ochako who looks caught between sympathetic and amused. “I’d be lucky to date either one of them.”

She reaches out to pat your arm, her lips quirking upward. “I think they’d be pretty lucky to date you too. You’re pretty hot yourself.”

You laugh in disbelief. “Thanks.”

Ochako shuffles closer to you, taking Kyouka’s abandoned spot and pressing her shoulder against yours. “So, what do you want to do? You know we’ll all support you either way, right?”

The reassurance brings a small smile to your face, and you nod before dropping your head to rest on her shoulder. “I mean, I was just planning on eating ice cream, crying, and avoiding making life altering decisions for as long as possible.”

“Yuna!” Ochako giggles and shoves you off her shoulder. When you whine, she sends you a mock disapproving look. “Be serious!”

You smother a groan, wanting nothing more than to shove your face into the couch cushions and avoid this conversation entirely. “What do you want me to say, Ochako? That I’d like to let both of them have their way with me?”

An excited squeal from behind you makes you flinch in your seat. With wide eyes, you whip around on the couch. Horror shoots through you as your eyes lock on an ecstatic Mina, Momo and Kyouka hovering in the living room entrance behind her.

“I fucking knew it!” Mina gasps, clapping her hands together and practically jumping up and down.

You sigh and drop your head back onto Ochako’s shoulder. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you murmur.

She pats the top of your head gently.

Mina skips around the edge of the couch and flops down dramatically, already whipping out her phone as Momo and Kyouka settle onto the other sofa across from you, small, matching smiles on their faces. They’ve never teased you as openly as Mina or Ochako, but just because they haven’t said it out loud doesn’t mean they haven’t thought it.

“You’re being dramatic, Mina,” Kyouka says, folding her arms behind her head on the back of the couch. “It’s not like she was very good at hiding it.” She smirks at you, and you flip her the bird, making Ochako giggle.

Momo remains silent but has to politely cover her mouth with her hand to hide a smile.

Mina waves Kyouka off with a flick of her wrist. “Eijirou owes me twenty,” she tells all of you excitedly. Wiggling in her seat, she pulls her phone out of her pocket, excitedly beginning to type.

You lurch away from Ochako with a horrified gasp. “You are not telling Kirishima about this!” Mortified, you nearly lunge across Ochako’s lap to slap the cellphone out of Mina’s hands, to which she whines loudly. Mina pouts but makes no attempt to grab her phone off the floor.

The glare you send her is half-hearted; her smile comes back full force.

“So, when you say you want them to have their way with you, are we talking separately, or, like, at the same time? Because, to be honest, that’s totally a sandwich I wouldn’t mind getting between.”

Ochako snorts, Kyouka rolls her eyes, and Momo looks particularly scandalized at Mina’s comment.

“I’m too sober for this,” you murmur, shifting on the couch so that you can toss your legs over Ochako’s lap. Blindly, you grope for one of Momo’s throw pillows on the floor. Maybe it’s not too late to smother yourself with it. Frankly, you’d take death over the turn this conversation is taking. You’re loath to admit how much you agree with Mina on the whole sandwich thing—and you know what, maybe you have had enough to drink tonight.

The thought must be clear on your flushed face because Kyouka sends you a knowing look. “Definitely at the same time,” she says.

This time you go through with the smothering plan. The poor pillow is crushed against your face, muffling your words when you ask, “Why am I friends with any of you?” Obviously, you know the answer. These ladies have been with you for the better part of your young adult life, and you wouldn’t trade any of them for the world, but sometimes you really want to strangle them with your bare hands.

Ochako pulls the pillow away from your face and tosses it aside with a smile, making you pout.

“Bitch, you love us,” Mina jokes, throwing you a playful wink.

Kyouka leans forward, resting her chin against her palm. “Besides, who else would put up with your dramatic ass?”

“Kyouka,” Momo chides despite her growing smile.

Ochako giggles and reaches out to poke your cheek. “We do it because we love you.”

Still pouting, you sigh. “I know.” Despite their teasing, you know they only want the best for you, and you appreciate that more than you’d ever be able to put into words. “You guys are the worst. I love you, too.”

“So…” Mina trails off purposefully, pretending to be engrossed with something on her phone—probably Kirishima. “You never answered the question, my dear.”

“Which question is that?” Right now you’re desperately hoping that playing dumb will work. As much as you’d like to continue dissecting your love life—or lack thereof—you can think of at least a dozen things you’d rather be doing. And that short list includes letting Mineta suck on your toes.

“Personally, I’d like an answer to which one you’d rather see naked, but admitting you want to have a threesome with two of the sexiest Pro Heroes of our generation is also acceptable.”

One of your eyebrows quirks upward. “Just of our generation?”

“Aizawa is a fox.” The other girls protest in varying degrees of disgust and Mina crosses her arms. “Why are you booing me, I’m right!”

You bite back a smile as Kyouka pretends to gag. “I have to agree with Mina on that one,” you confess, only half joking. You turn to said girl. “Tell us more about your hot fantasies about Eraserhead.”

“Hey now,” Mina jabs a finger in your direction. “Don’t think you can wiggle out of this one that easily, missy. You’re not distracting me this time. I demand answers about your little love triangle.”

“If I play dumb a little longer will you drop it?”

Mina bats her eyelashes. “Not a chance.”

Suddenly, your mood sobers more than you were expecting. Maybe it’s the wine finally getting to you, or the text messages you’ve been ignoring, or the way that as soon as Shouto and Katsuki stepped into your office today you felt an undeniable warmth flood through you. Just seeing them made everything feel just a little bit better. And now that the girls have started to pry into those feelings, you don’t know if there’s any going back for you. No more ignoring that little feeling in your chest until it goes away.

“Can we please not talk about this tonight?” you ask. The question comes out far softer than you meant it to, and the other girls frown when they see the expression on your face. You can only imagine how pathetic you must look right now.

They exchange a few looks before four pairs of eyes settle back on you, a mix of thoughtful and reassuring.

“Yuna,” Momo calls your name gently, idly playing with her fingers in her lap. She waits for you to look up before she continues. “I’m sure we already know the answer, but…” Another pause. “Do they both make you happy?” The look in your eyes gives you away, and she nods slowly, pondering something else. “In that case, could you be happy with both of them?” A faint blush creeps across Momo’s cheeks but she doesn’t break eye contact with you.

Your frown only deepens. “Momo, what are you—oh.” It hits you a moment too late, and you blink at her stupidly. “Oh!” For a second, you think your entire body is about to combust, and Ochako reaches over to pat your hand as your mouth moves soundlessly.

Kyouka isn’t quite as tactful. “She’s saying just date both of them, you loser.”

You point a finger in her direction. “First of all: rude and uncalled for.” She rolls her eyes. “And I don’t think it’s that simple, Kyouka.” In theory it might be the easiest solution, but already you can think of at least fifty different things that could go horribly wrong if you were to ever bring that up in conversation. Having worked with Heroes for the last three years, you know how the media likes to gossip, and you’re sure they’d have a field day over the Heroes Ground Zero and Shouto being in relationships, let alone with the same person.

Kyouka doesn’t seem to agree. “It is if you want it to be.”

“Are you saying you have experience with this kind of thing?” Ochako asks, brow furrowing.

“Hell no. You think I could handle two of Denki?”

“Seriously though.” Mina reaches out and grabs your ankle, tugging to get your attention. Her grin is blinding. “Girl, think about the sex. The stamina! Let me tell you, if I didn’t have Eiji—”

You tug your ankle out of her grasp. “You think about my sex life way too much, Mina,” you inform the bubbly girl. She’s certainly not wrong, but you’re not going to be the one to tell her that. Between you, Ochako is biting her lip like she’s trying not to laugh, and you jab a finger into her side, making her yelp. “But fine. I’ll bite. Hypothetically, if I did just… date both of them, don’t you think that would be a disaster?” you ask, glancing at the rest of them. “This is Katsuki and Shouto we’re talking about. They don’t exactly play well with others, let alone each other.”

Nevermind that the two have been friends since high school, there’s still very much some weird friendly rivalry going on between the two of them. The last thing anyone needs is for it to become decisively less friendly.

“You won’t know unless you try,” Momo offers encouragingly, ever the pragmatic one.

Ochako nods. “Yeah! What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I’m left heartbroken, alone with fifty cats, and branded a harlot on national television if anyone finds out,” you say, completely deadpan. So you’re dramatic, it happens. “Oh, I could also lose my job.” That’s probably less likely than the others. You’re pretty sure Izuku would cry if he had to fire you.

Mina scoffs loudly. “Oh, please, we would never let you get that many cats!”

“Besides,” Ochako says, beaming down at you and clapping her hands together, “you’ve got us! We’ll support you through all of your bad decisions, no matter what!”

Kyouka and Momo nod encouragingly, both wearing small smiles.

The conversation keeps buzzing through your mind, and you take your bottom lip between your teeth. Your thoughts stray to the unanswered texts in your back pocket and Katsuki’s crooked smile and the heat of Shouto’s palm sinking into your side.

With another sigh, you lean into Ochako and allow her to wrap her arm around your shoulders. “I know,” you murmur against her shoulder as she strokes your hair. “I’ll think about it.”

#shouto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #bakugou x reader x todoroki #todoroki x reader x bakugou #shouto todoroki #katsuki bakugou #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha #fic: some like it hot

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yukiette · 3 years

Text

Nakamura's Birthday Stream ❕️

link is on the title. translation below ✨️ pt.1 of.. Idk many probs 笑

13:00

When Nakamura looks eye to eye with someone, he said he usually would raise his head as he look into opponent's eyes which gives the impression he's looking down on 'em.

Kajita then explains that Nakamura's the type who looks into one's eyes when having conversation but when he does unfortunately it's as if he's scrunitizingly observing them, which is rather scary in his opinion lol.

17:05

Nakamura said he received many messages and emails congratulating his birthday.

And also told that he, Takahiro Sakurai, and Irino Miyu has a group chat together.

Nakamura : Well you see. Lately Irino-san is addicted to NiziU..

Kajita : NiziU? I think I have heard of it.. They're like people who dance or sing, right?

NY :..Well all of members are from Japan and they're an idols. *explains why its formed n about JYP relation to em*

MK :..JY..Park???? *confused*

NY : *laughs at his confused state* You really became person who doesn't know anything lol

Like, just awhile ago in the backstage you're like all knowing manga maniac, saying "Ah this manga? I've read it." Suddenly from that goes "J.Y.Park???" (Is quite hilarious)

*everyones laughing*

MK : Really. Really sorry 'bout dat.

NY : Wat happened really? *in accent*

MK : I have completely no interest in TV and entertainment industry but Hoshino-san is an exception.

MK : So, uhh.. Is J.Y.Park some sort of park? [HAHAHAHA I KENT-]

NY :..*silence* Yeah, a park. It's some sort like park.

*everyone loles*

NY & MK : *discusses seriously again about the producer stuffs.*

NY : Well, anyways. Irino's addicted to 'em and we (Takahiro and him.) said that if around 5 or 6 groups together n enters the view, we'll no longer could tell the differences between them.

[I RELATE SO MUCH HAHAH, thou twice is an exception ✨️]

NY : Then he said

"What's with that geezer like view?!? That's no good at all!"

"Okay, fine, you leave me no choice. I shall from now on personally virtually send you their profiles every single day so that both of you will remember every single one of them. (9 members.)"

"So do let me join your group."

And we're like "Ehhhhh....." (In "I don't wanna" kind of tone) [HAHAH I LOVE DIS]

NY : And so, he did actually sent them everyday. Wanna see? *loles*

MK : *ask n question sorts of things*

NY : Ah.. Yesterday was especially long.. *in tad low voice*

MK : Eh... I wonder where he got all of that informations..

NY : Probably from official sources..

NY : So yeah we even had question session like "This is who's -chan?" When I don't even remember their name much.

*pfft laughing*

MK : So uh.... Were you able to answer it?

NY : *in low voice* There's no freakin' way I could, of course.

*HAHAH*

MK : *reads* NiziU Smile Maker..

NY : Miihi-chan.

MK : *burst into laughing*

NY : Ace. Singing perfect. Dancing skills perfect. Expression also perfect. Popular member. Recently came back, reincarnated idol.

MK : *in loss of world as he keeps pointing to the screen*

NY : It'd be scary for a person to remember this.

NY : See all of this *shows the overall information* Absolutely impossible for me to remember.

*laughs*

MK : That's ain't no joke, actually it's terrifying... *taken aback* This.. Is this really from official sources? It's he wrote it personally, lol.

NY : Yeah, you might be right...

MK : Right? It looks like he wrote that himself.

MK : That's to be feared of...

NY : Like Ayaka-chan, too..

MK : "Fluffy Fuzzy Beauty"...

NY : "Nina-chan unexpectedly is 15 y/oー!!"

NY : *continues to list members name as MK keep hm-ing HAHAH*

MK : Uhh.. Nakamura-san. Everyone kinda look the same in my eyes...

MK : I wonder if I'm already an old man.

NY : Yep.

MK : They all looks like Osomatsu-san to me. (In how you can't quite distinguish way.)

MK : Everyone's a beauty and because they're all beauties. I can't distinguish between them.

NY : Yep. Because ultimately, overall "beauty" is like that.

MK : Yeah2. It's like that.

NY : Mhm. Because they're all beauties, it happens. I understand.

MK : Like.. Popular celebrities have this similar look..

NY : *shows the chat again*

MK : That's amazing..

NY : Well anyways after that. They congratulated me and stuffs. We continued to talk for a long time and brought up several topics.. It's what I did first on my b-day btw.

MK : That's good, then. Having fun n all.

NY : Well along the way the topic became.. Adult Videos..

MK : Eh?? How how??

NY : I don't really know, it's just did..

MK : Like.. How's the shift for ya'll to discuss bout that. [I like his hand movements HAHAH]

NY : Well.. Idk.. We kinda talked about that somehow.

MK : I'm honestly more piqued in this topic, instead.

NY : *lols* Yeah, we had a blast.

NY : *start to play phone bec hes embarrassed probs lol*

MK : I have dark knowledge about those adult videos. (Certain sites? Idk)

NY : Is there such knowledge?!

MK : Mhm.. Well, y'know that 2D content are censored, right?

MK : That male.. [K WAITO KAJITA-SAN WHY I MUST TRANSLATE THIS SUDDENLY HAHAHAH]

NY : Wh-What? [yap nakamura-san iz me rite now]

MK : Please listen to what I have to say.

NY : Okay..

MK : Like doujin and ?. There's many purchase sites for that, right?

MK then continues on as NY keeps laughing at this absurd topic.

MK then tells how the mosaic opacity is different depends where you buy, etc.

The camera/producer also even joins in to clarify what's NY confused about.

NY kinda was cutted off and and said, "Wow an explanation coming from a pro." [HAHAHAH]

MK : Yeah like seriously. Unless you compare them side by side, you doesn't notice.

NY : *cuts off kajita abit* ...What kind of topic is this.. *he says in low voice as he plays with his phone*

MK : I was wondering if this is the thin part ofー

NY : *cuts off kajita again* To discuss about this topic on someone's birthday..

[I wanted to do a bit more but YT isn't cooperating rite now.]

#nakamura yuuichi #mafia kajita #washagana #translation #seiyuu #birthday #takahiro sakurai #irino miyu #idols talk #voice actor

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retrocontinuity · 3 years

Text

rev, rev, fight the power: thoughts on the first half of chainsaw man

Spoilers through the end of the Bomb Girl Arc.

Devil Hunting in the Age of Fascism

As one of the cohosts of a podcast on Gundam Wing in 2020/2021, I've been thinking a lot about how authoritarian regimes and the concept of societal control is treated in anime. Which is to say: usually in a very limited sense, and based on the actions of a few bad actors, as demonstrated with its effects on a few unfortunate protagonists. It's not that creators don't care about the issue, but rather a sign that the genre (and yes, I do consider manga/anime to be a genre more than just a medium, but that's for another time) and its conventions are not particularly well-suited to showing you those effects.

So, Chainsaw Man. On an individual character level, Fujimoto has some stuff to say about the choice between death and life, and I do want to talk about that and what it says about the characters and what life means in CSM. But it's hard to tell whether or not he meant to create a world with some really fucked up institutions too.

For instance, the civilian, non-public sector Devil Hunters. These appear to be explicitly authorized by the Japanese government, to the point where it is a crime for the Public Safety division's hunters to kill a devil that a civilian is in the process of capturing. They don't have guns (this is Japan!) and I imagine they are only allowed to kill Devils, but just, like, think about this. What if you kill someone else in the process of trying to kill a Devil? What if you suspect someone is a Fiend but actually they're just acting weird? What if you kill someone, then claim later it's because you thought they were a Devil?

This is likely the American in me talking, but I can’t help thinking about how badly this would be abused and how horrible an idea that would be. And I can’t help but think about how the Devils allow the world of CSM to separate fears from human nature. By which I mean, in the world of CSM, evil is otherized in a very specific way; they’re represented by very individual, very distinct, and very monstrous representations. Here is the fear of scissors, the fear of sharks, the fear of the future, and so on. But in the real world, we know it isn’t just fear itself that is the problem; it’s people, well-meaning or otherwise, animated by those fears that create the most evil, or people harnessing those fears to gain power. This may be unfair—I don’t know what Fujimoto has planned for Makima, whose mythos and power seems very much wrapped up in the idea of using Devils to her own advantage. But there’s an assumption here that all actions taken towards eradication of the Devils, or maybe just one Gun Devil, is a de facto good. And in 2021, that’s a very unnerving position to take.

Death in Chainsaw Man is a sacrifice. In these early arcs of the series, death is a "contract," an expending of activation energy to achieve something else. So Pochita gives Denji life (which is really a contract repaid, for when Denji gave him life), so the Devil Hunters "trade" something in a contract with a Devil for power (like Aki giving away literal years of his life to his curse sword), so Denji dying to the Eternity Devil would have freed the rest of the team. But there are plenty of deaths in the series where nothing is traded, nothing is given. These tend to be nameless victims or, in one harrowing scene, convicted felons who die at the hands of Makima as she chases down Katana Devil.

What did they gain? What was the contract formed by the deaths of these 雑魚?

Makima says at some point when she's attacking the gangs that are affiliated with the Katana Devil that "the truly necessary evils are always kept collared and controlled by the state." Which I think is at its face about the fiends and Devils kept “collared” by the Public Safety Bureau. But maybe it’s also about the idea of sacrifice, about giving yourself over to the state, in order to control a world thrown into chaos. The contracts formed by the deaths of those ordinary citizens is meant to bring about an eradication of fear. It gives birth to the Public Safety Devil Hunters, to Devil Hunters in general, to the use of whatever means necessary to achieve an end. But whatever those consequences are, we only see them in the fates of Denji, Chainsaw Man, and the impossible characters around him.

A state under threat, a state that feels like it must collar evil in order to survive, will have ruinous consequences. I just hope we get to see what those are.

Just A Teenage Dirtbag, (Bomb) Baby

I read some reviews about Denji being the anti-shounen shounen manga hero which I can presume were written by people whose only frame of reference is Bleach, Naruto, or One Piece. Sure, the Big Three were, in their most simplistic forms, feel-good series, and CSM's first half is basically a feel-bad series, but that hardly makes it unusual. It's really not dissimilar from other manga like Homunculus, Freesia, and Oyasumi Punpun. Of course, only old fogies like me, who still remember getting scanlations of these series off of IRC, and query, of course, whether or not those series are shounen at all, or more like seinen. If it were up to me to name the genre, and of course it is not, I would call it “simply another line of stories about fucked up things happen to fucked up people.”

Many fucked up things have happened to Denji. I’d call it traumatic, but I don’t think “trauma” covers what this poor man has been through. The effect, though, has been to make Denji less than human, even in his human form.

Denji and Power's nonchalance towards the fate of their human coworkers who die to Katana Devil and Sawatari is framed by the manga through Denji as a potential sign of callousness. Kishibe notes it as a sign that they are "insane," in other words, "not like other humans," and thus capable of bringing down something like the Gun Devil, which would otherwise drive "normal humans" insane.

But like, huh? Denji and Power's reactions are, on the contrary, extremely human, because there’s no reason for them to extend feeling towards other humans. Simply put, they’ve never been human to the humans around them. They seem to be bonded most closely to each other, and in fact almost all the Fiends are, because the wider Public Safety employees treat them so poorly. Remember how the Infinity Devil Arc starts? Basically, they're told to be the advance guard, and threatened to be killed if they ever act out. Denji is kept on a short leash, and is so proud (in front of Reze) that he's allowed to go places on his own now.

Which, I'm not saying that that's wrong. Denji is incredibly dumb, holds monstrous power that could easily be tricked into using for horrible purposes, and appears to be the target of a number of Gun Devil's allies. Power is... well. I wouldn't let her out of sight either. But what Makima does that makes Denji feel so loyal, so utterly tied to her, is simply treating him as a human. She convinces him he has a heart, just like any other human. She tells him about all the love experiences he'll have in the future, because he's just a human teenager. And just like Makima, Reze is able to bond with Denji by treating him like an ordinary 16-year-old horny boy. Is it because as a Devil she knows what he wants the most? What he is craving, and never had? It doesn't matter that Denji had been just an ordinary human before fusing with Pochita or before he began his life as a Devil Hunter; as an orphan growing up on the street, unwanted and unloved, he was no more human than a Devil.

The ending of the Bomb Girl Arc—with Denji asking Reze to run away with him, only to be stood up—reminded me so very much of Aku no Hana. There's the classroom scenes between Reze and Denji, of course, but mostly I think about how Denji—betrayed, injured, manipulated Denji—still asks Reze to run away with him. I'd written about Aku no Hana before, how one of the saddest things about Nakamura is that she cannot imagine a world beyond her current circumstance (and, in fact, the manga ends up dooming her to stagnation). Denji and Reze are Nakamura and Kasuga's perverse mirror. It is because Denji doesn't have the capacity to imagine a larger world beyond his immediate now, three meals a day and a job and this woman who taught him how to swim, that he asks her to do this impossible thing, to run away with him knowing that to do would mean both of them betraying their masters. It is because Reze knows that it is impossible that she does not meet Denji at the cafe. Reze is more human than Denji, because she is capable of dreams, and because she is capable of dreaming, she knows she cannot afford their luxury. She knows too much about the world and its cruelty. And, so, she walks straight into its open maw, and straight into her death.

I don't think we can take Reze at her word that she wanted to be a town mouse, or rather we should say instead that Reze proves that the division between the town mouse and the country mouse is immaterial. The issue is that both, in the end, are only mice, dreaming of a safety they can never achieve. Safety, in the world of CSM, is neither town mouse nor country mouse. It is to not be mice at all. It is to be the dog that digs them out from the cold winter dirt.

It is, in fact, to be Makima, the person who orders the dogs to kill the mice.

Denji, aim for the top! Transcend the town mouse/country mouse divide! Or else you will constantly be hunted and used!

(Side note: CSM goes at a break-neck pace, and I think the speed through which Fujimoto rushes through these early storylines has made it very difficult for me to actually connect with the characters. Reze and Denji’s relationship is one of the victims to this pacing. Do I believe that Denji could fall for a girl and be willing to risk it all for her after about 3 chapters worth of interaction? Sure, he’s that kind of guy. But does it work for me? Not particularly. We’ve hardly had time to linger with Reze before she swears she’ll protect Denji forever, as long as he’ll run away with her. Though the reader at that point knows there’s something off about Reze, it’s still just not believable. Reze’s actions seem like someone trying to bulldoze her way into Denji’s affections, and though she herself is a bittersweet character, I just really feel like CSM could have spent less time with Bomb Devil vs Chainsaw Man and more time with Reze and Denji.)

No Ethical Women Under Capitalism

The Eternity Devil arc, for all its mini-boss game feel (it wouldn’t be out of place as one of the floors in Tower of God), struck a nerve with me, if only because it felt, however unintentionally, to be a story about working under modern capitalism. A floor you can never leave, that loops endless, where the only way to escape is to destroy it, literally, from the inside, by making it so painful, an eternal feedback loop of destroying ourselves and destroying it, before it opens its heart to us. The Capitalism Devil threatens us, tries to tear us apart. Asks us to sacrifice the strongest, the weakest, anybody among us, as if by climbing over the bodies of our friends and coworkers, we can come out ahead. It makes us suspicious of each other, ready to tear into any weakness for an advantage.

No wonder this is the chapter where Kobeni lays bare her reasons for joining the Public Safety bureau. She needed to work, to make money. Her options were to be a sex worker or a Devil Hunter. Either way, she was selling her body to the system. Kobeni is a victim of capitalism, which forces her to do what she hates, for goal that are not hers, and then gaslights us into thinking that she’s wrong for being crazy, she’s wrong for losing her shit, for not being able to handle it.

But... that's an asspull for me, even if it's my ass and I'm the one pulling. I'm truly not sure how to feel about Kobeni. Like, what is her deal?! I’m not sure what to make of her appearance in Chapter 20 in her sister’s hand-me-down. Are we supposed to pity her? See ourselves in her? Even in what I think was intended to be a mic-drop-ish line (at least for her), telling Aki that she didn’t quit because she was waiting on her bonus, landed flat for me, too deadpan to be pathetic and not sharp enough to be actually funny. Part of it may be because she is a character very much shaped by her circumstances as opposed to her personality or any interaction/action she does onscreen, but we don’t actually see her family situation in these chapters. We’re left with a painfully shy and cowardly woman who can’t seem to form any human connections with any of the other characters, who in multiple scenes is shown caving to the slightest pressure or threat.

Do the rest of the women fare any better? I’m not sure. Kobeni is unique in that she does not use her gender/sex appeal to manipulate the men around her and/or Denji (even Power lets Denji cop a feel to get her cat back!). Himeno, Makima, and Reze all hide their intentions for Denji behind the veil of his attraction to them (weak or strong) and are either unable or unwilling to be forthright in their desires and ambitions (Himeno to care for Aki; Reze, to accomplish whatever mission Gun Devil had her set out to do; and Makima, for fuck do I know at this point, but she’s up to something!!). Meanwhile, the men are straightforward to a fault. Did Fujimoto intend this? Is this just a subconscious reveal of his own conceptions of gender and Bitches Be Weird?

I’m not a person who needs to have a strong female narrative in a story, but when you start a story with a protagonist whose life ambition for many chapters was just to feel a boob, you better be careful, you know? CSM doesn’t lack for women; Makima and Power are both formidable characters in their own rights, self-assured and unbeholden to anyone but themselves. But so far almost every arc has featured a woman offering herself to Denji sexually in order to get him to do what they want. It’s getting real old real fast.

#chainsaw man #reading too deeply into the text

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sooibian · 4 years

Text

Tempting Fate (I)

@is-that-baekhyuns-shirt thank you, thank you, thank you for this beautiful poster!

Chapters: One | Two

Pairing: Minseok x You x Kyungsoo

Description: You’re forced to make a choice between a present that you didn’t choose and the idea of what could have been.

Themes: Angst, Exes!AU, Arranged Marriage!AU

Warnings: Strong language, indicative of emotional infidelity

Word Count: 3.7k +

A/N: Writing in quarantine hasn’t been easy so this is me trying to get back into writing by channeling all the rainy day melancholia into an angst piece. A huge thank you to @fightoh who inspired this Kyungsoo. I love you, Melissa! ^_^

We’re looking at a two-shot here, so lemme know if you’d like to be tagged for the update :)

________________________________________________________________

‘Settle down’

You often mulled over your father’s words of advice. This was one of the very few he’d cared to vocalize a little over a year ago. Settle down - as if you were an inanimate object devoid of any thoughts or feelings. As if you were lifeless. There was an undeniable ounce of truth in that, though.

He had left you lifeless, cold, and pathetic.

So you settled.

Gradually sank under the weight of the very same thoughts and feelings you were not supposed to have. Especially not after, as your step-mother had so eloquently put it, you’d spread your legs for the spawn of Satan.

These questionable archaic edifices threw you back by decades, centuries even. You’d started to loathe them all - your parents, the society and to a large extent, your own self. Either way, you did what you were asked.

Like dust, you settled.

The buzz of your phone alerted you of a meeting that was scheduled thirteen minutes from now. Twirling the cup of long gone cold coffee, you took some time to compose yourself. Ten minutes. Taking a huge gulp of the bitter liquid, you proceeded to head out of the cafe.

“Hello”, said the man who accidentally bumped into you on your way out.

The sound of his voice could sweep you over with a wave of recognition even in your most unresponsive state. Dreading, you looked up to meet his eyes. The same big, brown eyes you’d once have endless conversations with. The very same eyes that saw you for who you were. The eyes that had already started to say the things you weren’t emotionally equipped to hear.

“Hi”, he exhaled. You were enchanted by the way his lips moved. Flushed and soft, with a subtle pout. Plush and voracious they’d once felt on your skin.

He looked exactly like you’d remembered him. Soft brown hair fell in shaggy bangs across his forehead. A black shirt over ripped denims that outlined his lean frame and his right wrist wrapped in dark beaded bracelets. Your gaze dropped and stayed fixed on his combat boots, as you fought back tears.

Your phone chimed. Seven minutes.

Kyungsoo’s lingering gaze saw you out of the cafe.

“How was your day?” your husband asked, in the trademark gentle tone he’d use with you.

Dinner table conversations with Minseok were cumbersome. They felt heavily rehearsed and unnatural. You usually had polite responses and courteous questions to subdue the pressing silence that filled up any space Minseok and you inhabited. But tonight was you felt pushed to the wall. You felt hollow and rigid.

A dazed stupor had steered you through the day after the man who’d splintered your heart had chosen to resurface after two years. The very same man because of whom you weren’t the wife Kim Minseok truly deserved.

This wasn’t exactly the dinner table conversation you'd ever pictured having with your ever so sweet and kind husband.

“Nothing out of the ordinary”, you smiled, “did you manage to get Yang Ho Sung on board for the expansion?”

“Not to jump the gun but we might be able to lock in his signatures come Monday”, a pleased Minseok flashed his toothy grin.

“Not to jump the gun but congratulations!”

He chuckled, “If all goes well, I might have to fly out to Hong Kong. You know, raise capital...move funds...”

‘Raise capital, move funds’ was a part of your job description as Financial Controller, not the Head of Strategy's. Hong Kong was where the Company’s Head Office was situated. It was also where both of your parents had taken permanent residency. It was a place both you and Minseok frequented and for most part it meant bothersome soirees (generously sprinkled with intrusive questions) with his side of the family as well as yours. And anyone with a pair of functional eyes could spot trouble in paradise. So you were glad as you were grateful that you didn’t have to do much to dodge this trip.

It was almost as if Minseok read your thoughts, “You’re working on the Nakamuras’ merger project and it didn’t feel right pushing this expansion onto your already full plate.”

Pursing your lips into a slight smile, you nodded in agreement.

The day of Minseok��s flight to Hong Kong found you seated across from Kyungsoo at the very same godforsaken cafe.

“How have you been?”, he asked plainly.

Devoid of expression, your eyes bore into his as you clutched the teacup closer to your person, the rock on your finger conveniently on display.

“You mean after you suddenly disappeared? All things considered, peachy.”

His jaw tightened, “Don’t be like that.” What should’ve been a plea, came across as an audacious command.

“Why are you back, anyway?” You hated sounding like a jilted past lover straight out of a soap opera but you felt exactly like one.

“Because you deserve the truth”, brows furrowed and voice down to a whisper, he leaned in closer.

“I deserve much more than just the truth!” You were seething with anger.

“Let’s start with the truth first.”

“Okay”, you squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head, “this attitude is quite brazen, don’t you think?”

His hands landed on the coffee table in a soft thump, and spoke as if he were spelling out every word for you, “You’re clearly not ready for this conversation so call me when you are, yeah?”

“Go fuck yourself, Doh Kyungsoo”, grabbing your purse you dashed out of the cafe as angry tears streamed down your cheeks.

Locking away every vicious little memory of Kyungsoo in the farthest corner of your mind, you went about your mundane, monochromatic life until unsubtle baby pink and powder blue onesies peeked out of Minseok’s luggage as you helped him unpack.

“Just Mother being over enthusiastic, that’s all…I’m sorry...”, his face flushed as he yanked the Harrods bag out of your hand and hastily dumped it in his closet.

If only she knew that your hostile home environment wasn’t conducive to...reproduction.

“I know my face looked a little puffy during our last video call but that doesn’t mean I’m...”, you said quietly.

“I know, I know...I’m sorry, she shouldn’t have.. I had half a mind to...to discard them or... give these away to Ho Sung considering, you know, his wife’s expecting but I couldn’t...aish...I think I’ll go take a shower.”

Averting your gaze, he rummaged for fresh towels in his closet.

“Minseok”, you gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed feeling guilty for having put him in a spot.

“Hmm”, his voice sounded shaky.

“Minseok”, your grip on the sheets tightened as you chewed the insides of your cheeks, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Scratching the back of his neck, he turned around to look at you. The upward curl of his lips didn’t meet his eyes. He knelt before you and took your icy hand in the cozy warmth of his.

His hands were always so, so soft and warm, yet so firm and steady.

Bringing the ring on your finger to his gentle lips he whispered, “I know.”

His incessant phone calls and messages coupled with your unbridled desire to understand the reasoning behind that one decision that steered your life onto a downward slope was why you agreed to see Kyungsoo again.

“Is ‘How have you been?’ still out of bounds or...”

Kyungsoo chose wisely with this quaint little overpriced Italian restaurant. There was no way either of you’d end up creating a scene here.

“It is not and I've been well. You?”, you ask civilly, twirling spaghetti on your fork.

“I left because - ”, he started.

“Diving right into it, I see.”

Leaning back into his chair, he let out an exasperated sigh, “Would you please?"

“Okay. Go on...explain what good reason you had to turn my world upside down, Kyungsoo.”

“Thank you. Remember my art gallery?”, Kyungsoo asked.

How could you ever forget! It's what your step-mother used to attack with you every chance she got. Wayfaring, college dropout Kyungsoo's mildly successful upscale art gallery in Gangnam.

You nodded curtly in response.

“Dad handled everything...right from the actual sourcing process of art pieces to the finances. Although it was my business, I was simply a curator. You of all people should know how our parents like to meddle.”

“Kyungsoo, what's your point?”

“He apparently used the art pieces to launder money. And before NTS could get a whiff of it we had to go underground - I had to go underground. So he declared business bankruptcy, salvaged whatever little he could after NTS got their fair share of it, obviously and we went off the grid. Only recently we were made aware that all of our other Companies have been cleared off defaults - Dad pulled some strings to make that happen - but all of this is behind us now.”, Kyungsoo’s eyes enlarged as he chewed on his lower lip anticipating your response.

“Well, you could’ve called.”, you sipped Riesling to steady yourself.

“We could’ve been tracked, love!”

Feeling yourself disintegrate at the way that term of endearment rolled off his tongue, you pressed a napkin to your lips.

“What is it that you want now, Kyungsoo? I’m married - it’s all over!”, your voice quivered as you tried to reason with him as softly as you could.

“It’s not! It’s not over! Kim Minseok isn’t the man you chose -- this isn’t the life you chose! You didn’t escape my mind once in these last two years, baby...my hands were tied! Please understand, there was nothing I could've done. But I’m here now and I’m not leaving.”

The picture frame in your secret possession remembered Minseok as a portly little lad in a penguin onesie.

Him in his mother’s arms and you, an infant, in yours. Your mothers had been childhood friends, thick as thieves but the only memory you had of Minseok was this picture frame from the scenic Guri, where you spent the first five years of your life - until your mother passed and your father spiralled into despair. Minseok’s mother took pity and urged her husband to offer your father a position in the Seoul branch of his company.

The job paid well since Mr. Kim’s company was flourishing. Your father immersed himself into work leaving you with sitters for most part of your childhood. He successfully managed to add a chip-making division to the already thriving semiconductor line making SK Group the largest memory chip-maker in Asia thus elevating him to a Keyperson’s position. In his forties, he found himself a botoxed, gold digging beauty to marry and lived his life forever indebted to Mr. Kim.

So when the conglomerate’s matriarch proposed an alliance between you and Minseok, your father couldn’t refuse.

The alliance came a year after Kyungsoo disappeared.

Doh Kyungsoo. Your first love. The only one who’d stood by you when your own father couldn’t care less. You’d met him in your sophomore year at the University where he studied Archeology and Art History and you, Business Administration.

You had little to no memory of the night Kyungsoo played your knight in shining armour on Baekhyun’s bar hopping 21st birthday. You were drunk out of your wits. And when a sicko tried to take advantage of it, Kyungsoo stepped in. He drove you home, tucked you in bed and even brought you Haejangguk the next morning.

You’d managed to tame the beast according to Baekhyun but the truth was it was Kyungsoo who saved you from your dreary life. He brought out your exuberance and ferocity.

You ditched the pastels in your wardrobe for radical florals, the straight black hair, now an untamed, red tempest and modest little diamonds in your ears replaced by the dazzle of the glittering galaxy.

Your grades declined meteorically as you painted the town red with him on his Motorrad and come senior year he recklessly dropped out of college. That’s when things started going south for the both of you.

After a failed acting stint, he dabbled aimlessly in Seoul’s art scene. You didn’t greatly approve of his life choices, especially these major shifts which were solely his decision since he hadn’t bothered to consult you once. You, on the other hand, picked up pace academically and after graduation, Mr. Kim’s conglomerate took you under its wing - just as planned.

You tried to be there for Kyungsoo during this "phase" of his which lasted well over two years but he kept pushing you away. Until finally, with the help of his father, he set up his own art gallery in Seoul. It didn’t create a lot of buzz at first but it brought a welcome change within Kyungsoo. He was focused, driven and tried to make the best of the opportunity.

Both of your careers kept you busy and you slowly began to drift apart. Petty fights and misunderstandings only deepened the cracks in your relationship and Kyungsoo, being a man of few words that he was, didn’t help the situation.

You both did and said things you shouldn’t have and all that should have been said was left unspoken. Often you even decided to part ways but every other night found you in each other’s arms. Come morning, the very same issues would resurface.

But you both tried. Tried to make it work through the tears and the pain for the thing called love. You’d both been inseparable for four years now and this was nothing but a minor roadblock.

And when things finally started to look up, he left without a goodbye.

Minseok looked nothing like the toddler you’d remembered him to be except for his striking angular eyes. He was lean, suave, well mannered, albeit slightly awkward (you didn’t blame him considering the blind date setting) and definitely deserved a better wife than you. He shyly complimented your neutral beige flare dress and you both shared the rosy bits about your life.

His father had decided against giving him a directorial position on a platter so he’d worked his way up from Assistant Manager, Sales to freshly anointed Head of Strategy and you were working towards a better position in Finance.

Minseok was, plainly put, nice. Very much unlike the broody, flighty, reckless Kyungsoo you’d known and loved all these years. But Kyungsoo was a distant memory and Minseok looked like someone who was married to his work.

All things considered, you believed you could make this arrangement - that was your marriage with Minseok - last.

The expansion kept Minseok busier than usual while you were busy plotting away with Kyungsoo - looking for ways to get back with your first love and break the news to Minseok in the gentlest way possible.

“Ripping the bandaid off is the only way forward”, Kyungsoo suggested, helping you with a generous serving of kimchi stew.

His studio apartment was a stone throw away from your workplace. So you took an extended lunch break to see him in the privacy of his house. You felt a tinge of guilt at the frequency of your rendezvous but you let your heart have it’s way. As much as you hated the predicament his reappearance had put you in, his presence made you feel alive again. You no longer dreaded the morning alarm, the commute to work or even work itself. You had something to look forward to everyday - you had him to look forward to everyday.

“Hello?”, he interrupted your train of thought.

“Hmm?”, you looked up from your bowl.

He chuckled, “Nothing’s changed...” making you eye him questioningly.

“You still space out a lot”, he said, scrunching his nose affectionately.

Guilt weighed heavier.

You smiled, “No, it’s just that - there’s so much at stake Kyungsoo. I don’t think I can just rip off the bandaid.”

“Higher the risk...”, his eyes widened in an attempt to convince you.

“I know...but...he’s a nice guy and --”, you fought back tears.

“Run away with me?”

“Kyungsoo!”

“I’m sorry”, he muttered.

“Did you find a new place for the art gallery?”

“Mhmm”, he avoided your eyes, “just off Samcheong-ro.”

“Kyungsoo, this is huge! Samcheong-ro is the heart of the art scene!”

He smiled, “And this time around I’m working with people I can trust.”

Putting your hand on his arm, you squeezed it lightly. Nodding you said, “I’m really, really happy for you.”

He sighed, “Listen I’m sorry about earlier...I didn’t intend to rush you, I’ll be patient...I love you.”

You couldn’t say it back.

“Minseok, the Nakamuras accepted our offer”, you started with some happy news.

His feline eyes widened in astonishment and his shoulders went up as he pursed his lips to contain a big smile, “Really?”

You nodded.

“This means a hell lot of more work for you”, he chuckled, “but it’s a huge reason to celebrate! Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow?”

In your one year of marriage, Minseok had made this offer only a handful of times.

“Sure”, you smiled, “I was thinking of a weekend trip to Jeju. You know, clear my head?”

“Ah! Of course, anything you need. Will you be travelling alone?”

“Yeah”, you lied through your teeth.

Looking mildly dejected, he forced a grin, “You deserve the break.”

You woke up well before the break of dawn, not nearly as enthusiastic about the seaside getaway as you’d been when you’d planned it with Kyungsoo. Nevertheless, you went on to physically and mentally ready yourself for your flight at noon.

Minseok, an early riser by habit, was still in bed at half past eight.

“Minseok?”

You leaned over his asleep form but nothing. So you put an arm on his shoulder and tried to lightly shake him awake only to receive a muffled groan in response. A hand on his sweaty forehead confirmed your suspicions.

Without giving it a second thought, you texted Kyungsoo, called off the trip and to avoid the inconvenient onslaught of questions, turned your phone off. Feeling an overwhelming sense of concern, laced with guilt and anxiety, you shook Minseok awake.

“You’re burning up!”, panic struck, you nearly yelled at your groggy husband.

“I don’t feel so well… Please call Soo-ah, she’ll take care of me. What’s the time? Have you called yourself a cab?”, Minseok spoke in laborious gasps.

“There’s no need to call Soo-ah”, you said, straightening the duvet, “I’m not going anywhere.”

To your utter surprise, Minseok did not, in any way, nudge you to carry on with your plans. Instead, he thanked you with a slight nod and a small smile. His gentle, cherubic smile made your heart skip a beat, it cooped you up in an inexplicable warmth.

To you, an uwell Minseok was uncharted territory and during the course of the day you realised he wasn't very different from a tantrum throwing infant.

You started your day with committed the cardinal sin of denying him his morning cup of coffee.

“I’ll drink twice as much water to rehydrate!” He whined.

“Ugh! Don’t make this harder than it already is! I'm grasping at straws here!" You shouted from the kitchen while whipping up rice porridge for breakfast.

His protests against the mushy bowl for his first meal were comparatively milder, which was a welcome relief but your caffeine deprived husband sporadically kept shooting you snarky sideway glances. All hell broke loose when you had to nearly shove the acetaminophen pill in his mouth.

“Yah! Are you trying to kill me? This is fatal!”, he’d started talking in pouts now.

“Yah! Kim Minseok!”, annoyed, you glared at him.

A round-eyed Minseok stared at you in disbelief before quietly dry swallowing the pill.

The medicine was quick to act, stabilizing his temperature. So you asked your stickler for cleanliness husband to go take a quick shower but the man wouldn’t budge.

“I want to stay in bed all day”, he smiled adorably.

“You’re not exactly smelling like fresh lilies right now, Minseok. Who’s to take care of you if I faint?”, you teased.

His face flushed as he begrudgingly stepped out of the comfort of his duvet. Grinning with glee, you proceeded to cook him chicken soup for lunch.

Lunch was awfully quiet.

“Did you not like the soup?”, you asked in mock concern. You were sure your comment from earlier was the reason for his mopey face since the fragrance of his cologne overpowered the aroma of your chicken soup.

“No, the soup’s just fine”, he deadpanned, making you chortle.

“You should fall ill more often, this is fun!”, you giggled.

A pink blush rose to his cheeks as he swirled the spoon in his bowl, “I agree.”

***

While Minseok napped, you prepped for dinner. The www suggested a light bean sprouts soup with a side of rice and kimchi.

“Shall we eat in front of the TV today?”, you asked Minseok.

“Sure! Anything you wanna watch?”, slumping into the sofa, he flipped over to the primetime news.

You groaned.

“What? You love this anchor!”

“And how do you know that?”, you asked, slurping your soup.

“I follow you on Twitter, remember?”

“Hmm but I lack the cerebral capacity for this tonight”, you snatched the remote out of his hand and played The Running Man instead.

Yoo Jae-suk and Lee Kwang Soo’s antics left you in splits. Dinner ended with you sniffing water up your nose and an alarmed Minseok furiously thumping your back as you continued to giggle foolishly.

“I don’t remember the last time I laughed this hard”, you cried.

Minseok smiled awkwardly taking in your behaviour he wasn’t accustomed to, “Let me help you clean up...then I should probably head to bed.”

“Wait”, you floundered out of the couch, “just one more thing!”

“I swear I took the last dose when you weren’t looking!”

“I know that because I was looking!”, your voice carried from the kitchen.

“Here…. I’ve been too harsh with you today”, you offered him a slab of tiramisu making him almost jump out of his seat in delight.

“What’s this?”

“Your question is low-key offensive, Minseok!”

“No, I know, I mean...thank you. For everything.”, his lips curled in a sincere smile making your heart flutter.

***

For someone who holds his liquor well, flu medication made Minseok really drowsy, real quick.

As you tucked him in bed, you switched your phone on with your numb fingers. It beeped furiously with a flurry of angry messages from Kyungsoo, making Minseok stir in his sleep.

“I’m sorry”, you whispered.

“I love you”, he mumbled in his sleep-befuddled state.

143 notes · View notes

petroltogo · 3 years

Text

full disclosure, this got complete out of control (you’ll see that below the cut) and for those who prefer to read longer texts elsewhere I also posted the full story on AO3. @hopeswriting I hope you like it!

So Hana takes a step back. She let the stress of being field-active, of having to cover for Sawada and keeping their squad upright run her down and never once took a moment to breathe and think. It worked, for a time, but it can’t work forever. Hana won’t be around forever to pick up Mochida’s slack when he’s hesitating, to push Sawada down when he gets ideas about helping, to shoot down Miura’s more crazed ideas that she makes sound horrifyingly reasonable.

In other words, she needs to start working on a solution instead of being the solution. Which means approach the problem in a new way.

Since Vongola Inc.’s bureaucracy is as nightmare-inducing as Hana expected it to be, getting another member assigned to their squad is a spectacular failure. [Hana cannot believe the bullheadedness of people who have never even seen a gun in real life but somehow think they can tell her what she does and doesn’t need in a fight.] Unsurprising but it was worth a try.

Which brings Hana to Plan B: Get Sawada off the squad. He’s spent the past two and a half months flapping around on the field like a fish who’s jumped out of an aquarium only to realize that he does, indeed, need water to survive. He’s panicked and cried and thrown up [in Sawada’s defense, they all have, but unlike Sawada they usually manage to control themselves until after the crisis is over] — in short, he’s had his fun.

It’s time to end this.

[continues under the cut]

Since the last time Hana tried to hammer a rational thought into Sawada’s brain, she’s payed attention and realized that Sawada won’t ever get off his ass and do something to improve his life if the only thing to be gained is more happiness and less lethal danger for himself. Which, frankly, is a thought that boggles her mind but alright.

If Sawada refuses to make decent life choices, Hana will make one for him. She doesn’t usually meddle like this, this is 100% Kyouko’s bad influence on her, but Hana has spent too many months keeping this idiot alive. He’s not gonna die on her now.

So Hana files the transfer papers for Sawada.

She does it properly too. Researches Sawada’s high school grades — which range from passable to terrible, how did he make it into the Vongola Inc. attack squad training in the first place? — and interests — of which there are barely any, seriously, does this guy not have a life? — and pays attention to Sawada in action. Most of the time that’s like watching an avalanche come down on top of you in slow motion, but there are parts of their work where Sawada doesn't hold them back. Even — dare she say it — makes himself useful. Like the whole talking to witnesses and calming survivors down part. Especially when there are children. Sawada is awkward and too sensitive and gets too restless around the adults, but with children he’s actually— Not bad.

Based on those same observations, Hana fills out the appropriate forms to get Sawada transferred to Human Resources. Sawada will be fine there. Maybe even do well. Not that he could do any worse than an attack squad but whatever.

The request is denied.

Transfer requests out of attack squads aren’t denied. No one wants a well-armed operative who doesn’t feel stable and confident that they can handle their job running around.

At this point Hana has repeated the phrase so often, the words have lost all meaning, but in the face of such a monumental, senseless idiocy it bears repeating: What the fuck, Vongola.

Practice doesn’t make perfect but it does make better.

A week passes and then another one. With every successful and unsuccessful mission that they survive together, they get better. Their teamwork improves, their instincts sharpen, they learn to play off each other. They learn to navigate around Sawada. And even Sawada does improve.

He doesn’t panic as much or as obviously anymore. He’s getting better at not getting in the way. He’s getting decent at hand-to-hand combat, even if he sucks at applying those same skills in an actual battle. Hana still isn’t happy to have him at her back, but she can trust him not to bowl her over from behind anymore. And besides they all do their best to keep him out of the actual fights whenever possible. It’s progress.

Not enough but it is what it is.

In the end. It’s not unexpected. It’s the opposite of unexpected and even that doesn’t seem a strong enough word for it. Because Hana is a planner at heart. She’s imagined this very outcome too often to be slowed down by shock or surprise now that it's actually happening.

[Numbers don’t lie. They can’t show the truth but they reflect trends and probabilities and just because every human being thinks they are the exception doesn’t make it true. Numbers don’t work that way and exceptions mean there’s a majority there whose story is told in those very same statistics.]

Hana knows what it means to walk into a battle with a squad member that can’t handle themselves by her side. She’s gone over the dangers too many times to count at this point, both inside her head and out loud. They all have. They’ve been doing this job for four months and by some miracle they’ve been managing, but beginner’s luck only holds out for so long.

It’s a bad mission.

Not their first one. They’ve already had close calls — too many of those — have gotten injured, hell, Sawada has even gotten himself kidnapped once. None of that knowledge helps prepare them for another once though. None of those past terrors make it any easier to remain calm and level-headed in the heat of the moment.

Most importantly none of it prepares Hana for a super who can control electricity. Whose powers apparently aren’t stopped by their uniforms, going by the charred body of what used to be one of her squad member that's lying crumbled on the other side of the room. [What does it say about her, about this squad that Hana’s first hysterical thought when she watched Nakamura go down screaming is 'At least it wasn’t Sawada’s fault.'?]

Communications are down, she’s cut off from possible reinforcements, trapped somewhere in the lower levels of the building. She doesn’t have any smoke bombs left, doesn't have a paralyzer, doesn’t have an exit and her only backup now that Nakamura is dead is Sawada. Sawada who is cowering in the corner furthest away from her and Nakamura's body, back pressed so hard against the wall he’ll have bruises if he survives this, wild, panicked eyes fixated on the crazed super who’s staring at him like Sawada is the fucking North star.

Or his next meal, going by Sawada’s luck.

Hana’s drawn her gun like Sawada should’ve because he’s armed, Hana knows he’s armed. She can see the gun from across the room. And Sawada isn’t fucking drawing it.

"Stay back!" she calls out towards the super who's glazed eyes remain fixed on Sawada. "Or I’ll shoot!"

Sawada still isn’t moving. The lightning guy is moving slowly, a demented grin on his lips, blood caking the left half of his face. And Sawada isn’t fucking moving. Not to defend himself. Not to run over and seek cover behind Hana, where she could fucking reach and protect him.

"Why are you so surprised?" Hana can almost hear Kyouko’s voice ask her, curiously puzzled. "You always knew he would be a liability."

Hana fires a warning bullet, half hoping the insane super will miraculously flinch back and let himself be arrested, half praying it will shake some sense into Sawada. Both is too much to ask and when lightening guy takes another step, Hana knows she’s out of time.

He’s too close to Sawada. All he needed to burn Nakamura alive was one touch. [The room is still echoing with his screams. Or is that only in her head?]

Hana doesn't kid herself: She's known how this story would end from the start.

She shoots.

[As the daughter of a lawyer and a librarian who fell in love over their shared passion for justice in a society that sorely lacked it, Hana didn’t grow up with the system-friendly propaganda her classmates were fed every day. She grew up with heated arguments over human rights over the dinner table, with long-winded discussions about the failures of the system and where and how to best address them.

Hana didn’t grow up glorifying supervillain deaths and she never, ever wanted to take a life. There is a reason why Hana planned to stay no longer than six months with her squad and it’s a simple one: Hana never wanted to become a killer.

But who does?]

Kurokawa Hana has been an active Vongola Inc. operative on an attack squad for four months, three weeks and six days when she kills René Moretti during a sanctioned mission with a clean headshot.

The official investigation is an open and shut case.

A month after the incident and three weeks into her mandatory therapy, Kurokawa Hana is cleared for the field once more.

Mandatory therapy is a joke. Hana isn’t going to let a therapist on Vongola Inc.’s payroll get into her head and brainwash her into believing killing isn’t a problem as long as it is for the organization’s gain, thank you very much.

[That’s not quite what the woman said but Hana can read between the lines and even if she couldn’t, she doesn’t trust Vongola. How could she, at this point?]

But Hana is smart and resourceful and has supportive parents who get in touch with some old friends and give her the contact of a psychologist that at least won’t have divided loyalties from the get go. So Hana goes and hopes it’ll help.

In the meantime, she pretends Sawada doesn’t exist.

[He doesn’t thank her. The one time he approaches her, he stutters out an apology of all things as though that would somehow erase the brain splatters Hana can still see behind her closed eyelids. She doesn’t snap and she doesn’t kick him out of a window because Hana is better than that.

She grits her teeth and turns on her heels and locks herself into the bathroom and smashes the mirror until her knuckles are bloody and there are glass shards sticking out of her skin and the screams inside her head finally shut up because Hana is a murderer and nothing anyone does will ever erase that.

The worst part of it is that she doesn’t feel guilty about the life she took. Only grieves for what she broke within herself.]

Here’s one truth Hana has to live with every day: She has taken a man’s life. [And it was easy.]

Here’s another one: If she’d been in that room with anyone on her squad other than Sawada, she wouldn’t have had to.

Sawada stays out of her way whenever possible and that’s the way Hana likes it. It doesn’t help and at some point she grows used to the bitterness that still twists her insides up into knots at irregular moments when she catches sight of him, but she can bear to look at him again, to give commands and order him to back up and cuss him out for breaking the coffee machine without actually murdering him.

Which she could do. She’s done it once already after all.

That first time is not the last time. Of course it isn’t. The longer she stays in the field, the more chances there are for something to go wrong and probability theory alone will tell you that sooner or later Hana will find herself in a similar situation, having to make the same choice.

Not every person Hana shoots is to protect Sawada. Some are to protect a civilian or even herself. Does that make it better?

Hana doubts it, but she realizes she doesn’t truly know.

[If there’s one thing she’s learned in the last month and a half, it’s that Hana is a good killer. Enough conscience not to turn a machine gun onto a crowd of civilians or throw a child off a building, but not enough to feel bad about snuffing a stranger’s life out of existence. Just the way Vongola likes its operatives.

Hana never pictured herself in this gritty, bloody world of field work, never wanted to be, but she makes herself at home all the same.]

One slow Wednesday morning while cleaning up the mess on her desk, Hana stumbles upon the transfer papers she never handed in. They’re filled out already, even the signature is already in place. Have been for — over a year now, that’s how long it’s been. Back when she first planned out every step of her career at Vongola Inc.

Staring down at her own handwriting that reads like a strangers, Hana considers. She could still hand them in, she supposes. Get transferred to the legal department just like she planned. What’s a delay of a few months?

There’s no reason to think that she couldn’t do the job. In fact, Hana is sure she’d be good. Great even. Certainly she’d make a better lawyer than a field operative.

"Kurokawa, you coming?" Mochida calls from the briefing room. The rising impatience indicates it’s not the first time he’s called her and a glance at the clock tells Hana their daily team meeting was supposed to start five minutes ago.

"Yeah, one moment."

She gets up. Takes one last glance at those papers. Throws them in the rubbish bin underneath her desk and doesn’t look back as she crosses the room in sharp, determined steps. There’s no point to it.

[What she wanted to protect when she made those plans is already lost. And Hana might be a better lawyer but she’s a decent operative. She’s keeping her squad members alive, keeping Sawada alive, which is an achievement all on its own.

She’s already taken lives for the sake of her team, for the sake of the mission even. What’s a few more?]

In a strange way it makes almost sense. [Out of the two of them, Kyouko is the villain. But it’s Hana who’s always flirted with the darkness looming at the edge of every super’s consciousness. It’s Hana who’s cut out to be a monster.]

"Why are you here?" Hana asks Sawada on a whim, roughly a year and a half after they were first assigned to the same squad. There’s no deep motivation or reason, not even any real curiosity.

Sawada blinks stupidly at her. "You said the first one to go home and leave you alone with this tower of paperwork would be dangling from the Vongola sign on top of this building by a rope made out of their own entrails."

Hana rolls her eyes. "I meant why did you join an attack squad." You idiot, she almost tacks on but leaves it unspoken in the end. It’s nothing Sawada hasn’t heard before. Damn she needs coffee if her tongue is getting away with her again. It’s not even two in the morning yet.

"Huh?"

Sawada looks honest to god confused. He’s lucky that punching him would require too much effort. Now that Hana thinks about it, so would getting worked up.

"I mean," she says very, very slowly, "that you are the least violent person I’ve ever met, Sawada. You’re a terrible field operative. So why haven’t you quit and applied for something else?"

Sawada stares at her with those illogically huge eyes that are supposedly cute — if Kyouko is to be believed — but that Hana finds off-putting. Possibly because they look at her like that all the time. "Oh." Sawada says as though none of what Hana has just said ever occurred to him. "I’m terrible at everything. And Vongola Inc. were the only ones who offered me a job. So." He shrugs.

Which. Hana isn’t even gonna touch that one. Nope.

"Just get the damn coffee, Sawada," she groans and hopes she’ll have forgotten this conversation in the morning.

[She doesn’t know what she’d hoped to find here, what kind of revelation she’d been waiting for but the worst self-esteem in the history of self-esteem hadn’t been it. If she thinks about the fact that this entire shit-show could’ve been avoided if someone had given Sawada a proper motivational speech as a child, she is gonna burn something.

Probably Vongola Inc.]

[On bad days, Hana cancels her coffee and cake time with Kyouko, doesn’t look at Sawada unless it is to glower and locks herself into an empty briefing room or her own apartment whenever possible. Her hands don’t shake when she holds a gun or a knife or a rope — they never do — but sometimes when she catches sight of her reflection she breaks it until it breaks her.

On bad days, catching sight of Sawada makes Hana feel every drop of blood drying on her hands, chunks of skin getting caught under her nails, gun powder sticking to her fingers. On bad days, she hates Sawada for what he’s made her become.]

By the time they’ve all been working together as an active squad for two years, every member of the team except Sawada has become a killer.

They don’t talk about it. They don’t acknowledge it.

[The shots one of them took so Sawada wouldn’t have to — because he wouldn’t have. They don’t even send him out with a gun anymore because what’s the point of handing someone a weapon they refuse to use? The shots they took to save him. The tasks Mochida assignes specifically so Sawada won't have to see some of the worst they’ve had to face, won't be forced to make choices he isn't prepared for and has too much heart to make. The missions he’s been put on desk duty for that no one else came out of unscratched. It's not even always about blood and death, is the funny thing. There’s so many things worse than murder.]

There’s nothing to talk about.

[On good days, Hana is grateful that it was her behind that trigger. Because even at her worst she’s never wanted Sawada dead.

And. Being a killer suits her, them. That's why they were chosen after all. That's why they qualified. That's why Sawada should've never passed his entrance exam. And perhaps one day Hana will make her peace with that knowledge. But the unvoiced issue remains: Sawada isn’t like them. Sawada cares in ways no one on the squad does, no one on any attack squad should, and— It’s not concern that compels Hana to shield him. It’s certainly not empathy. It’s self-preservation.]

Sawada doesn’t thank her for any of the lives she takes on his behalf. Hana doesn’t expect him to. She doesn’t think he understands what she’s protecting him from and a large part of her — a part that pulls the trigger without flinching, that has nightmares about Nakamura’s burned corpse, the smell of his flesh, but never about the man she killed — hopes he never will.

[It’s not the life Kurokawa Hana thought she would want, certainly not the life she planned, but most of her original squad is still alive, Sawada is still alive, even though Hana still doesn’t know who within Vongola is moving against him. And though Sawada is still useless, he’s calmed down a lot over the past two years. Could almost be classified as an asset on his rare good day.

And it’s not always great, not even always good, but. It is.]

aaand i think that concludes hana’s POV. if you have any further questions though (or if there’s other characters you’d like to see more of, don’t hesitate to let me know in a comment or an ask)!

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yukisohmasmokesweed · 4 years

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heeey... so, might be still a bit early to ask, but: top 10 "things" about season 2? could be eps, moments, characters, things they did, whatever you feel like, literally ur top 10 favorites from it

i interpreted this to mean top 10 moments so....top 10 moments!

10. (from 2x4)

i love this whole fight so much. it’s kind of an unspoken thing after it’s first established that they have to hide a huge part of their lives from everyone around them since it’s a given, so i like this bottled-up frustration over having to live constantly walking on eggshells coming out. i also really really like that we get to see haru acting genuinely scary as dark haru; it’s introduced as a comedic thing and haru is a generally well-adjusted character compared to the rest of the zodiac, and so i like that we get to see just how destructive and chaotic his coping mechanism really is. filmmaking-wise it’s a little boring but i don’t really mind because it’s tense enough that i don’t really notice it.

9. (from 2x17)

this is the only funny one on my list because i live for the drama haha but i like this scene for more than its humor! this episode takes place at a point in the season where yuki has been able to accept that he is allowed to put himself and his recovery first, and has spent enough time with others and pushed himself out of his comfort zone enough to shake off the instantaneous automatic fear of rejection that his social anxiety manifests as. because of the slow undoing of this hardwired reaction and because he’s become very comfortable around kakeru, though, his real, unrestrained personality as well as his actual opinions start slipping out. i like that this scene shows us 1. that he cares for tohru so deeply that he would end a friendship over her getting hurt, even though he thinks it’s childish after he says it and 2. that not even yuki knows what his real personality is like because he’s kept it repressed for so long. and i think for people with social anxiety the reaction to this kind of thing is embarrassment, but despite his embarrassment kakeru accepts what he says at face value because he likes yuki for who he is, not who he pretends to be for other people’s comfort. this is a very sweet moment between the two of them even if it’s buried a bit underneath the humor and kakeru’s easy acceptance of yuki’s more dramatic and snarky side is one of the reasons yuki trusts him so much when it comes to heavy stuff. i don’t love the bg changes to this cartoony thing in fb but in comedic scenes like this one it didn’t bother me, and i thought all of the art in this episode was really nice. this was also one of my favorite voice acting moments from shimazaki, i looooved loved loved him stuttering as he turns around right after he has this revelation, i think it’s super funny and also very natural-sounding, plus it’s a different kind of delivery from yuki but it fits him so well.

8. (from 2x19)

i love this little moment between shigure and hatori. the way they talk about the curse in this scene is very indicative of their characters and how they feel about the curse: shigure is flippant and casual when he says rin visits him to see if he knows how to break it, and hatori is shocked at the idea of it, then instantly becomes resigned, claiming it’s not possible. but this moment right at the end is just *chefs kiss* the way shigure says hatori’s name so weighty, and the delivery of “...do you hear it?” is curious if not hesitantly hopeful, some of my fav line readings in the whole show. i also really love the pan up the stairs back up to the house when he says “the sound of breaking,” the implication of tohru’s involvement in this clear. this scene is also visually stunning and i like the track under it a lot.

7. (from 2x18)

i’m obsessed with this scene and i’m obsessed with every line reading from nakamura, he is so incredible. i thought the art in this scene was gorgeous and every blocking choice was amazing, the body language and where they moved and when was perfect. also one of my favorite tracks off the ost plays under this scene, and i love that it ends just before shigure delivers his line, “i’m the worst.” and rin looks over her shoulder in silence other than the sound of the door(!) sliding closed as shigure exits. you can feel in this scene how desperate rin is and how frustrated shigure’s flippancy is making her. i also really like rin’s body language in general, she’s a good amount touchier than anyone else, and she’s all over shigure in this scene, both because she’s propositioning him but also because of her implied closeness (gure-nii) to him.

this is an excellent shigure scene, and i love these lines included in particular as well as the repeat of them in the finale. it’s a moment of actual self-awareness and self-reflection from shigure for sure, you can tell by his face, but in true shigure form he is not saying it because he’s trying to be emotionally open with rin; he’s saying it to get her off his back. he knows that the curse is weakening but he also knows that the harder he pushes people and the harder they struggle to get out, the more likely the curse is to break. it’s cruel and manipulative and the most painful way to go about things, but hey at least he knows it!

6. (from 2x25)

this whole scene between shigure and hatori in the finale is a super hard hitter; they both know everything about one another and have nothing to hide and they are also very desensitized to cruelty, and so their conversations are incredibly frank, and they don’t skirt around anything, either. i like that hatori doesn’t hesitate to put shigure in his place regarding akito’s status (a good example of hatori as akito’s enabler and the upkeeper of the status quo in order to keep everyone’s lives as calm as possible at the cost of his own happiness), and i like that shigure immediately gives it back by calling out hatori’s attachment to the bond—which is an interesting thing to bring up and speaks to the bond as not just a curse, but of how it is also their family and community. their lives do revolve around it, so the curse breaking would be an unthinkable change to something integral to their existence.

i chose this moment in particular because it’s a great insight into shigure’s emotional state, one of deep jealousy and pain over akito’s rejection of him. i like that it’s a close-up of his eyes here; shigure’s eyes are important in the reboot, and seeing them here tells us that this is his emotional truth. when hatori calls him out, though, they are hidden again. these lines are also delivered so well, i love how low in his register he’s speaking, it’s not something we hear from shigure a lot. it’s very heavy and very indicative of his pain.

also, i like when they copy things exactly from the manga, so i liked this shot a lot as the closer of the scene:

5. (from 2x21)

ok obviously i had to put this because it’s my favorite scene in the manga...i thought this was very visually beautiful, loved that they had yuki standing in darkness (in front of a door!) and kyo illuminated by the light, but a light from a place he’s not allowed to enter. i think the lighting design speaks to how yuki views kyo, not only when he’s a little older as someone who is naturally charismatic and attractive, but in the moment, as a potential ray of light, a possible friend who could understand his situation through shared life experience. i just love the puff of breath yuki gives in reaction to kyo confirming what akito has been saying to him about how everyone hates him and everything is his fault, and i love yuki’s hands folded in front of his chest, protecting the most vulnerable part of his body as a reflex to words that deeply wounded him.

i like this scene for its function of the root of yuki and kyo’s conflict: that kyo needs to hate yuki and scapegoat him for his own problems due to yuki’s status in the family, and yuki hates kyo back to protect himself. it’s a very nuanced and deep take on a fictional rivalry that comes from a very realistic place of maladaptive coping and morphs into something more habitual and every day over time. also big love the casting choices for these two as children. this scene was amazing, it’s super short but i like this specific moment in it because it does a great job visually showcasing yuki and kyo’s immediate reactions and emotions to meeting one another for the first time.

4. (from 2x25)

i thought this whole sequence was incredibly well-done, but specifically i loved this part where the music swells and the loom crashes down onto the floor over akito’s repeated lines. also one of my favorite voice acting moments of the season, i loved akito delivering these lines through hiccups and sobs and trailing off into childish crying, and the art and animation was very visceral. seeing akito this out of control was amazing and kureno’s reactions to akito hit very very hard; it’s easy to sympathize with him and see why he would agree to this, and it contextualizes his decision to do so when all we the audience has seen before this is akito’s terrible and abusive behavior.

i also really liked kureno’s hands coming in towards akito to comfort, it reminded me of this

from 1x9 but flipped; instead of kureno’s hands coming forward to comfort akito but representing his choice to trap himself in the curse, it’s akito’s hands coming from behind to force yuki to stay with akito against his will. they also both cut off very suddenly, which i like a lot.

3. (from 2x8)

this transition makes me go absolutely ballistic. visually i love akito and tohru turning to look over their shoulders in opposite directions, i just think it looks very sexy and it was a cool way to transition out of one scene and into another. i also like the mirrored body language to set them up as each other’s foils in these two scenes. akito brings kureno, who is functionally their love interest, out for a walk and then proceeds to belittle him, his status, and his opinions. tohru goes out with kyo, her love interest, so they can have a nice time at the beach. they have a very open conversation about the “monstrous” aspect to kyo where tohru validates and appreciates his thoughts and emotions. having these two scenes back to back was a really smart move to contrast our protagonist and antagonist and set them up as each other’s foils, and it’s definitely my favorite scene transition in the season.

2. (from 2x10)

i loooove how insanely tense this scene is. i really like that shigure and akito are sitting in silence here until akito starts their monologue in full, and then the track is cut off at its crescendo by kureno’s knocking. the track being bookended by low ambient sound from outside makes it more impactful when it does start playing, and the track cutting off with the knocking makes the sound of akito’s clothes moving as they get up and the door sliding open while the camera is still trained on shigure’s expression deafening. i also like the shot choices in this scene, particularly the close-up of akito’s hands around shigure’s jaw and that we can only see their mouths, as well as the shot of shigure seething but partially blocked by akito’s torso. the voice acting in this scene is also bonkers good, particularly yuichi nakamura’s shigure.

this is the first time the audience has seen shigure mad, not just annoyed or frustrated, and that’s definitely a big part of why i love this scene. his conflict with akito adds a lot of depth to his character and i like seeing a different range of emotion from him than normal. i also just love the introduction of their whole relationship drama love triangle thing going on with the adults, i honestly think it’s hilarious that takaya baits the audience into thinking it’s going to be a love triangle between the teens and it just completely is not but is instead a deeply fucked up one between the older characters. truly a stroke of genius

1. (from 2x8)

i love this whole scene so much. i think cinematically it’s gorgeous, i love that they’re surrounded by greenery and i really like the leaves starting to fall around them and the beams of sunlight behind tohru. those choices could have come off flashy and overdone but i feel the way it was directed was subtle enough that it didn’t feel like ibata was holding my hand through my emotions, but impactful enough that it’s an emotional gut punch every time i watch it. the moment where the flute ends with tohru’s internal line and transitions into strings/chimes mixed with the sfx of the wind rustling through the leaves is beautiful and probably my favorite use of soundtrack this season.

the reason i love this moment in particular so much is because it so encapsulates yuki and tohru’s relationship. she sees him so clearly and has been in his life long enough to tell that his reaction to rin is a marked change from who he was when they first met. she also knows that yuki working through his trauma over akito is something he needs to do on his own, and that the best thing she can do for him is to support him and show him that she loves him. on yuki’s end, he already knows tohru will support him unconditionally, but he’s now at a place where he’s able to accept it in stride and knows without a doubt that she’s there for him. this little moment really showcases what their whole relationship is about and was gorgeously done. this scene very quickly became one of my favorites when the episode came out and i’m pleasantly surprised that it’s stayed there; in fact, it was totally enhanced by the development of their relationship this season, which has undoubtedly become my favorite relationship in all of fruits basket. i think a friendship as deep as this one is a rare gem in fiction, let alone one between a man and a woman. this whole exchange is very beautiful and touching and a great summation of what they both mean to each other.

#fruits basket #fruits basket season 2 #yeah im putting this on the tag because i spent a long ass time on this post #meta???#anonymous #ask #takes a huge bong rip

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