#also posting this at an awful time as I am one to do but eh what can you do

[babacontainsmultitudes]

As some of you already know, I am disheartened- though certainly not surprised- by the recent backlash against one Sparrow Oak Garcia for his recent transgression of *checks notes* having a mixed-to-negative opinion on zoos.

Part of me honestly feels a bit silly responding to any of this, but what are any of us here to do if not have opinions on fictional podcast characters. Anyways, I will get to the more important stuff, as obviously (if you've seen any of the criticisms I'm talking about) this ties back to Hero at the end of the day, but seeing as the first wave of hate I saw after the episode was largely to the effect of: "what the fuck does Sparrow have against zoos?", I would like to start by addressing that point briefly (and only briefly, as it's really not the sort of topic I care to discuss online), by saying that zoos and animal captivity more generally have a long history of being contested and criticized by animal rights activists, and that instances of animal abuse and neglect within zoos and other animal-based theme parks are anything but obscure. Furthermore, it feels worth noting that as of present less than 10% of zoos in the US are AZA-accredited. I say absolutely none of this with the intention of making any definitive statements on the nature of zoos, nor to judge people who do enjoy zoos, nor even to provide my own feelings on the matter. Rather, I offer this information only to explain that someone like Sparrow taking issue with something like zoos really isn't strange at all? And whether you agree with such a stance or not, it undoubtedly comes from a place of empathy. Moreover, I don't think we can honestly divorce Sparrow's take and compulsion to voice it from the metacontext that Sparrow is a character being played by Anthony Burch, you know, a vegan, who probably has his own views on the matter that may or may not differ from yours and mine.

Okay, on to more important matters. At the forefront of things I suppose is the assertion that Sparrow's behavior regarding Normal and the zoo and all that is hypocritical and perhaps even nonsensical in light of what Hero was going through at the time with her training. "He wouldn't take Normal to the zoo but he forced Hero to kill a deer with her bare hands?" Certainly the sort of statement that will elicit a strong emotive reaction from the fandom, but one that ultimately relies on a pretty major assumption, namely, that Sparrow acted as the primary organizer and perpetrator of Hero's training, one who supposedly felt no internal conflict towards the situation whatsoever, rather than instead serving as an enabler of it, who ultimately intervened but only after far too much damage was already done. Neither is a great thing to be, but there is absolutely a difference between both of these roles, and I think that Lark and Sparrow's respective behaviors over the course of the season point almost unanimously towards Sparrow being the latter and Lark the former.

(The above being a non-exhaustive list, of course)

The funny part about the whole zoo thing is that it only further corroborates the notion that Sparrow is someone who is sensitive to the suffering of others, and by extension only serves as more evidence that he most likely was not the one actively making Hero undergo the worst of what she had to do. Does this make him guiltless in the matter? Absolutely not, but it does point to Sparrow having issues that are fundamentally different from Lark's, and means that the instance with the zoo is not only consistent with Sparrow's characterization, but frankly not actually all that hypocritical if you look at it for more than a second. That is, there is a very important but simple difference between the situation with Normal and the zoo and that of Hero and the deer that accounts for the variances in Sparrow's behavior between both cases: Lark. Sparrow isn't okay with either situation, based on all the evidence we have so far of who he is as a person there is absolutely no reason to think that Hero's training is not something that deeply upset him- I mean for fuck's sake everything about how Sparrow raised Normal down to his name stems from not wanting his kids to have to live that kind of life. So why doesn't he put a stop to things sooner? Why does he let any of Hero's training happen at all? Again, very simply, because Sparrow cannot say no to his brother. I mean, he does eventually, given Hero's current status, and that change is an important and still ongoing facet of Sparrow's growth and his arc, but at the start of things it is something he struggles with even more than he does now, to his own suffering and detriment and of course even more so to Hero's. But did Sparrow himself "force Hero to kill a deer with her bare hands"? Almost certainly not, and I have to admit that I find it quite frustrating how quickly Lark vanishes from the collective conscious of the fandom when the time comes to assign accountability for matters concerning Hero. But then, who is Sparrow if not someone who takes the fall for his brother, apparently even in the fandom-space.

[Not that there isn't any nuance to Lark's utilitarianism, either. In general I feel as though discussion of the twins' biggest mistakes too often omits the acknowledgement of the fact that all of it has been to stop an eldritch horror responsible for the death and torture of millions of people, but anyways. Not what this post is about.]

I think that's mostly it lol. Got some thoughts on the family's policy on pets (and how it relates to the Hero thing but also to Beanie actually), as well as some remarks on Rebecca and how we really shouldn't be leaving her out of this discussion (I say, leaving her out of this discussion) but eeehhhhhhh y'all I'm especially low energy as of late eheh and mostly just wanted to speak my peace on a couple major things so let's cut it here for now I think :b

#dndads #meant to post this a bit sooner but sleep and anxiety have been very bad lately :( -not related to this stuff lol #dungeons and daddies #sparrow oak #sparrow oak garcia #also posting this at an awful time as I am one to do but eh what can you do #long post #dndads s2 ep 41 #baba babbles #<- remember when I said I would start using that talking tag then didn't???? #hero oak #hero oak swallows garcia #normal oak #normal oak swallows garcia #names lmao gosh #lark oak #lark oak garcia #ask to tag #<- just in case given certain topics

[detonade]

Good morning and happy birthday to Isagi Yoichi. Rambling under the cut :

Hello hi uhh hey, yeah this is my very first post. It's been a while since i started editing panels from mangas i like and uh, i decided to do one for Isagi's birthday!!! I definitely could do better, but i had 2 days to finish this and this is the longest time i've ever spent on an edit let alone a personal project. I think i did alright. Maybe. Idk the standards (well i do, kinda, i think)

Like, the overall sillhouette of the first panel, especially Kaiser's arm position and hand is kinda wonky, idrk how to do Isagi's hair sprout and i think i failed him (on his birthday too??? I could've done better), shading's awful but i did consciously refused to learn how to shade soo, also the abibas, bastard munchen's sword thingy and Kaiser's rose tattoo is, lmao. Kaiser's hair is also a bitch fuck i forgot his rat tail.

But this edit is not for Kaiser!!! This is dedicated for Isagi Yoichi!!! This is for the blue lock mascot birthday!!! The egoist himself!!! I might fix it later though, haha, who knows. (God i hope i don't have any more motivation to do so, because i am exhausted)

I don't even have a banner yet, why am i this dedicated to Isagi, he's not even on my fav list??? (Might as well add him to be it at this point, because he's one of the major reasons i enjoyed a sports manga to it's fullest) Why is my first post about some blue man's birthday, my whole blog is a mess (of nothingness, because it's so empty) right now, the only thing you'll find is just, this

Anyway this year's april fools joke is actually me!!! I spent hours on this and i look at it and go 'eh'. I don't, know, if i'm, proud, of this, like at all??? For god sake i forgot Kaiser's rat tail and i don't feel like adding it now, this took me 16 hours, which is longer than actual art that i made from scratch???

There should be a version where Kaiser instead said 'How does it feel, to forgot to add my rat tail? ... You clown' to me. That'd fit too.

And uh once again, happy birthday to Isagi. I can't believe i mentioned Kaiser's name more than his in a post that's supposed to be about him and his birthday

#blue lock #bllk #isagi yoichi #michael kaiser #'but also this edit is not for kaiser!!!' #still added him to the tags #because he's there i guess

[justporo]

A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 8)

ATTENTION: There is some SMUT in this chapter, because Tav gets a little touchy and Astarion just pours oil into the flames - only lightly smutty though, because I like to be a pain in your ass, hihi.

There will be more smut in future parts that I will still have to write but let it slowly burn for now - I know you want it.

Also this is the last part leading up to my main idea for this story - the plot point I actually thought about when I started writing this and thought it'd be like a few thousand words adventure.

Btw, did part 7 yesterday go through okay? I felt like it didn't really show up for some time when I posted, eh. Anyways, if you missed it, it's on my blog of course.

A bit more is already up on AO3!

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

(Gif from here!)

You kept on drinking and talking. Teasing each other, pouring more shots. It really did feel like one of the memorable evenings you thought about when you first told Astarion about this place. The main act had started to play downstairs: a band of elves – a rarity in itself, but they were practically celebrities as Lira explained: a male drow bard with long sleek black hair playing the lute and singing with a dark and somber voice that had men and women in the audience swooning, a female wood elf bard with a violin with green skin and equally sleek but powdery-pink hair and the voice of an angel and three more equally beautiful elven musicians. All were precariously clothed, leaving little to none to imagination. Since they had started playing the mood in the tavern had dangerously shifted from drinking and laughing to people of all genders and races and combinations dancing and kissing and stealing touches they thought nobody would see.

With half the bottle gone you could certainly start to feel the alcohol doing its work: you felt pleasantly buzzed, also giggling more and batting your eyelashes more at Astarion - which might’ve been caused by the amount of drinks you’ve had or the seductive, pleasant music… or maybe it was just your fatal attraction to him and his very much encouraging and looks and touches.

While Daegin had been complaining about the last time he had visited his family for the better part of an hour, you started to get a little handsy with Astarion. Which prompted him to grab hold of your roaming hands. “Do you mind, darling?”, he whispered to you with a smile and pulling both of your hands to put them over his heart. You blushed shamefully, immediately worrying if you’d made him uncomfortable. You quietly voiced your concern to him and apologized for your indecent behaviour while Daegin complained loudly about his second cousin's awful wife.

The vampire laughed softly and lifted your hands to his lips to plant a gentle kiss onto them. “No worries, darling, if you’d ever really do something to make me uncomfortable, I promise, I wouldn’t hesitate to call you out on it.” He pressed another kiss onto your fingers. “I love when you show how much I am yours and that you can’t keep your hands off me, my heart, but maybe just for tonight, keep your hands out of my pants while we have an audience, alright?” You nodded but still felt a little bit ashamed of yourself, so you buried your face in his shirt. You mumbled something about respecting boundaries into his chest to which he pressed a kiss on the top of your head and held you for a moment. Daegin was still on about his relatives while Lira boredly dragged her shot glass around in circles by its rim and stared into nothingness.

After a few moments Astarion leaned down to whisper into your ear. “There will be no boundaries tonight though, when I’ll have you all to myself and remind you why it is that you can’t keep your paws to yourself”, he simply stated and then went back to holding you sweetly – as if he hadn’t just given you the most enticing promise you thought someone ever gave you. Very naughty thoughts started to race through your mind, prompting you to let go of Astarion and get at least a few inches between you – a much needed safety precaution. You poured yourself another shot and downed it immediately while you could feel the same pulsing sensation between your legs you’d last felt when he had you pinned against a wall only a few hours ago. The rough fabric of your linen blouse started to rub on the hardening tips of your breasts, your throat was bone-dry although you only had just drunk something. Astarion leaned on his elbows to grab the bottle of liquor and also pour himself another one while watching your face and giving you a dirty smirk. He did look like the personified sin right in this moment. Astarion’s eyes wandered to where your hardened nipples here now clearly visible through your shirt while he drank slowly. He licked his lips afterwards without stopping to stare but you saw how he rearranged his pants with his hands – only the slightest bit awkward. And when your eyes flicked down, you noticed that not only your arousal was pretty obvious right now. “I admit you make keeping boundaries pretty hard, my love”, he whispered under his breath. You stepped closer to him once more but not touching him. “Seems that’s not the only thing I make hard”, you whispered back while returning the dirty smirk he gave you moments ago and staring into his eyes confidently. His pupils diluted slightly at your words, but he held your stare without moving, positively becoming a statue.

Then you suddenly turned away from him and to the other two at the table, crossing your arms over your chest, breaking the spell. “So, what else is new?”, you asked suddenly and with a not-so-subtle note of hysteria in your voice. You had been way too close to just completely losing yourself right then and there; all because of some dirty whispers and stolen glances.

The half-elf and the dwarf, both well drunk - much more than you - had obviously been completely oblivious to the electric tension between you and the vampire – thank the Gods. Out of the corner of your eye you saw that Astarion had rolled up his sleeves and was leaning on his elbows again next to you.

“Well”, Lira drawled, now much less focused on niceties and political correctness, “have you heard that Cazador Szarr has kicked the bucket a few weeks ago? And his whole estate was looted. It’s been the talk of town for weeks.” That sobered you right up. This was the first time you heard that this had become public knowledge. It seemed Astarion and you had been well shielded in your domestic little bubble since you had parted ways with your adventurous little group and settled down in Baldur’s Gate.

You threw Astarion a concerned sideways glanced but to your surprise he seemed relaxed. Even more so, he was grinning broadly, mischief twinkling in his eyes. Daegin happily chimed in and gave you a rundown of different theories on his death: heart attack (“Nah, he was perfectly healthy, last thing I heard”, Astarion commented), poisoned by another noble family to gain his power (“Probable, but why loot his estate and why not keep his death a secret and pose as him, so much easier to take over his influence.”), tragic accident (“Unlikely, I heard he never even really left his castle.”). Astarion seemed more intrigued in adding to the gossip that you thought was clever. But hells, you would not stop him from talking shit about this fucking bastard.

“Do you want to know what I heard?”, Astarion said after Daegin had finished. He leaned towards them as if he was going to let them in on a secret. Lira, immediately intrigued, leaned over the table just as he did. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly in anticipation. Even Daegin seemed immediately interested. There he went doing it again, Astarion and his damned silver tongue. You were about to join his act in whatever lie you thought he would fabricate from thin air, when he began: “I heard, he was secretly a vampire and was murdered by one of his own spawn because he’d made a deal with a devil to perform a horrific ritual that would have made him even more powerful and killed thousands of people!”

Your chin basically dropped to the floor but you were way too shocked to do anything else. Lira and Daegin mirrored your emotions perfectly albeit for different reasons. Did… did he actually just tell them the fucking truth?

The silence between the four of you kept dragging on. Astarion simply drank another shot of liquor, shrugged his shoulders and casually said: “It’s just what I heard.” You could simply blink at his nonchalance. Then Daegin broke the silence with deafening laughter, roaring and throwing his head back, slapping his thighs with his hands multiple times. Lira joined in but her laugh turned into a silly cackling chuckle that made her shoulders quake like she was losing her mind. You couldn’t join in, you were too starstruck by Astarion’s boldness. But neither was Astarion. He just threw you a defeated look that seemed to say ‘see? No one’s ever going to believe it’.

After several minutes of choking on their laughter they seemed to calm down. Lira had to wipe away tears from her eyes several times, the dwarf had started coughing horribly halfway through. When he had regained a bit of composure, he jumped off his stool, walked around the table and offered Astarion his hand – which the vampire took with a confused look. “I gotta hand it to you, elf, no one ever made me laugh that hard. Not even my own brother”, he said and shook Astarion’s hand, congratulating him.

“Tav, you really need to bring him when we go out drinking from now on”, the short man said and laughed again. This time you and Astarion joined in.

#astarion #astarion x tav #baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #astarion x reader #astarion x mc #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x oc #astarion x you #fanfic #fanfiction #astarion ancunin #bg3 spoilers #a night of song and laughter #poro fics

[redleavesinthewind]

elliot's 2023 fic wrap up

2022 version

alright friends it is once again time for me to review the (many) fics i read in the previous year and try to write a more or less concise rec list of my absolute faves (i wish i didn't have to chose but heh i'm not gonna subject anyone to 332 fics in 1 post - also wait only 332 fics? that's like. over 100 less than last year, what the fuck. anyway)

okay now first the part that interests no one but me (yes you may skip this) and that's the numbers part! i'm not making a whole elaborate spreadsheet to then not throw around cool numbers. anyway.

i've read around 4,932k words in 332 fics across 18 fandoms. that is much less than last year, and yeah, i've been generally less productive in 2023 but we don't have to talk about it. at least i have more variety of fandoms this time (let's ignore that it's only 2 more and also that from fandom 13 on there's only 1 fic per fandom)

i started out the year strong with 847k words across 72 fic in february (followed by 753k across 42 fics in january, and 621k words across 63 fics in march). it goes downhill for the rest of the year. eh it wasn't my year so what! 2024 is gonna be more filled with fic reading again!!!

my top 3 fandoms are so entirely unsurprising to me i am almost disappointed in myself. when did i become so predictable. top fandom is young royals with 166 fics! congratulations young royals, you are a very persistent hyperfixation, you didn't peter out after 2 months like i expected. Spot number 2 is taken by avatar the last airbender with 41 fics! giant leap there, but it's also funny because i fell into an atla rabbit hole late 2023 (as i do every few years) and it still got up to 41 fics despite uni not allowing me to read last semester (uni is evil). Same as last year, spn takes third place with 38 fics. speaking of persistent hyperfixations.......... *big sigh*

and that is it the boring part is over let's go to the fun section LET'S REC SOME FIIIIIICCCCSSSSSSS (under the cut)

JANUARY

bet you you'll ... (noraverse) (series) by @gh0sthugs | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 52k words

a kid fic!! and such a sweet one too! i'm kinda weak for kid fics ngl, and nora is so sweet and wonderful, and the relationship that slowly forms between wille and simon is beautiful and comfortable. this whole series is just such a good time

spreadsheet notes: ah to fall in love with the dilf next door who also happens to be the ex crown prince of the country

A Royal Intervention by AnxiousAnaconda | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 18k words

erik is being such a dumbass in this one. like, he means well, but he's kinda messing up and pissing people off (understandably). it's nice to get a view on erik that's not portraying him as this perfect guy though, and the fic is actually so much fun to read. and hey, the prime minister of luxembourg gets mentioned, which i was kinda waiting for in yr fic ngl

spreadsheet notes: big sigh... erik you fucking idiot. stop listening to august. also shoutout to xavier bettel apparently (edit: this aged poorly, fuck xavier bettel)

and each slow dusk by @if-fortunate | young royals, wilmon | mature | 49k words

okay. ooookay how do i even begin with this one. ohhh boy. okay. so. world war three. wille gets stuck in bjärstad with simon, many many things happen, it's about finding hope in a horrible situation and trying to live life despite everything falling apart around you. it's incredibly well written and something about it just has me in awe

spreadsheet notes: i don't know what it says about me that this is without a shadow of a doubt the best fic i have ever read in my life

Put Me Back Together and Take My Heart by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 50k words

i once again don't know what to say, this one is sooo good. simon is suffering and both wille and i hate it, but... but wille is there for him and ugh, they just... they just can't be apart. a story of reconciliation and healing from both physical and invisible wounds, and of making the right decisions for yourself

spreadsheet notes: ugh. UGH. my guys. MY GUYS. yeah let's go blackmail the queen

Department Six by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf | gen | 4k words

a fun short one about stiles and danny working for the fbi and being delightfully weird and mysterious

spreadsheet notes: HILARIOUS i'm in love with outsider pov always

FEBRUARY

There Are No Wolves in California by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf, sterek | gen | 5k words

you know, sometimes you see a fic you know is going to hurt you, and you've never clicked on anything faster. this is definitely one of those fics

spreadsheet notes: let's be wolves today yeah well derek what if i just break down and cry instead

you got my body, i got your body by @prince-simon | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 9k words

this one's technically part of a bigger series (which, definitely read that one too), but i'm highlighting this one cause... damn... this made me feel things... like, gender things... which is really weird cause wille's gender in this is very much different from mine BUT STILL

spreadsheet notes: how almost 9k of pwp gave me so many gender feelings i will never understand

Changing Channels: Queer Premiere by @emeraldcas, @fellshish | spn, deancas | gen | 27k words

this might actually be one of the funniest fics i've ever read. dean and cas are so stupid (affectionately) and all the crossovers are delightful (bonus that i knew all the other shows). everyone go read this it's gonna be the best time

spreadsheet notes: mel and fells have genuinely outdone themselves this is the most hilarious shit i've ever read

Catalyst by @stretchoutfics | young royals | teen&up | 3k words

a backstory for boris! this fic is within a series of other side character ficlets, but this one has a soft spot in my heart

spreadsheet notes: AAAAHHHH HE KNEW ABOUT THE RECKLESS DRIVING BUT DIDN'T BRING IT UP but also... him being a gay man trying to help the queer crown prince navigate his sexuality that's kinda nice actually, like boris understands at least a bit

The most beautiful boy by lovelysarcastic | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 88k words

there's something incredibly grounding about this fic. the way it develops, the way wille rationalises his thought processes, the way the relationship between wille and simon develops... this fic just kinda sucked me in and spit me out again feeling... content and calm and... it's just... this fic is so beautiful

spreadsheet notes: dude i love this so much??? they're both so stupid??? i love them???

MARCH

All's Fair in Love and Hunting by @badjoices | spn, deancas | mature | 20k words

they're playing gay chicken but also are being incredibly competitive and stupid about it, and i'm just sorry about the shit sam has to witness. so many shenanigans in this fic

spreadsheet notes: they are both so stupid omg

["mi cotufita" started sharing their screen] by @omar-rudeberg | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 60k

so... this is a follow up to one of my favourite fics and it is a delight. very horny but also very sweet? and also for some reason there's porn. fun times! oh, and this fic made me cry. it really has the range

spreadsheet notes: how are they so horny it's so funnyyyyyy, but also if i were wille i could never look linda in the eyes again

A Light To Guide You In The Dark (Warmed By The Fire's Glow) by 80shairmetal | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 19k words

this is just... people taking care of each other out of the kindness of their hearts. finding comfort in strangers who become family. growing and helping each other. there's such a beauty to this one

spreadsheet notes: this is just..... comfort

did you see the love in my eyes, oh were you gazing through this disguise? by @tooindecisivetopickaurl | young royals, wilmon | mature | 67k words

fake dating my beloved. they're so in love with each other but they're pretending not to be while pretending... to be? i'm obsessed with them. but they're so respectful with each other and cautious of boundaries and they really are best friends who also happen to be obliviously in love

spreadsheet notes: love a good fake dating au they're so stupid i love them

flash like a setting sun by @playedwright | 911, buddie | explicit | 22k words

because you only realise you're in love with your best friend when you're scared you're losing him. that's the fic. and it's beautiful

spreadsheet notes: oh this is sooooo beautifully written and ugh just <333

Other people's secrets by @sflow-er | young royals, walty & wilmon | mature | 239k words

yooooo hello? so first off this is an outsider pov on wilmon which i am always obsessed with anyways but the focus isn't just on them, this is henry's story. it's a beautiful story about how friendships form and warp and change, how feelings manifest in different ways, how decisions and actions have consequences. it's an incredibly mature take on post-s1, and it's probably my favourite of the year. also ace representation!!!!

spreadsheet notes: ace henry my beloved <33 also love seeing wilmon from an outside perspective! such a good, well thought out fic with lots of healthy comminication <33

APRIL

if i stare too long by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringroveson | explicit | 191k words

i haven't seen st s4 (and probably won't watch it) but that definitely won't stop me from reading harringroveson fic. i mean, who wouldn't look at those three and immediately want to see them together. the way their dynamic is written in this fic is peak, i don't even know what more to say. i also very much trust these authors with billy, and again i wasn't disappointed. there's just something in his head that's intriguing.

spreadsheet notes: this whole fic is such a vibe it makes me feel of hot summer chillin

MAY

Rewrite the Stars (series) by @in-amor-veritas | young royals, wilmon | mature | 137k words

definitely one of the highlights of the year, simon's whole life in new york... those scenes, they just show such a wonderful life simon has built for himself, and his relationship with wille doesn't change it, but he manages to fit in (after, you know, fun rom-com drama shenanigans). also. this is a kid fic. kid fics are my weak spot. rasmus is my new favourite little guy. also shoutout to luis best side character ever

spreadsheet notes: YELLING i love this fic sooo much it is everything

Where The Wind Will Carry Me by @1-life-to-give | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 49k words

AND THEY WERE ACTORS PLAYING LOVE INTERESTS. do i have to say more? the tension guys the TENSION. also erik's side-plot i'm in love

spreadsheet notes: hopping up and down like a hyperactive chihuahua EN I LOVE THIS

Your love is my turning page (the t4t wilmon as girldads au) (series) by @willesworld | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 17k words

i know i know another kid fic BUT!!!! t4t wilmon. makes it automatically superior. i'm not even kidding, add trans characters and i will like your fic (that i probably already like a lot) aroun 300000000 times more. but also this series comes for your feelings. it hits

spreadsheet notes: i am weak for t4t wilmon AND them having a biological child there's something so beautiful about it like that could be meeee ; siiimon i need to hug him and i need to hug wille they're gonna get out of this i prommy ; recovery and one step forwards a hundred steps back, but they made it there in the end ; they were so happy :((((

JUNE

A trace of dew by nuncflore | elden ring, this is too complicated | gen | 13k words

very elden ring-esque writing style, wonderful representation of whatever the hell is going on in the lore. hehehehehhe fucked up family ehhehehehe DIVORCE. my friends are so talented :))

spreadsheet notes: CAP I AM EATING YOU

Hanging from the Ceiling by @spicymiilk | spiderverse | teen&up | 6k words

for like. a week after i saw the new spiderverse movie i made miles 42 my entire life. that also meant reading this fic. and damn did this fic hit. i am still thinking about it

spreadsheet notes: i need more miles 42 content he is my favourite guy ever

The Darkest Little Paradise by @yourdemiurge | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 79k words

*holding you at gunpoint* read this fic. read it now, in this moment. you are not gonna regret it. believe me when i say you NEED this fic, you really do. doesn't even matter if you've seen yr or not. you're gonna thank me later

spreadsheet notes: THIS IS INSANE I CAN'T BREATHE MADY WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

JULY

Protected (series) by bastuba | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 69k words

hey do you ever read a fic and you just feel. so incredibly grounded because something about the characters feels grounded? like, they aren't grounded, but they still give off that vibe? idk how to explain this properly but that's this fic. also wille and simon cook together (i haven't read all parts of the series yet btw)

spreadsheet notes: incredibly grounded very mature how is wille like this ; i'd be like wille, always complaining about the heat ; they're soooooo. idiots. getting tattoos for each other ; i too would come out on a podcast about food ; SAFE SEX

AUGUST

The Season of Rebirth by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 30k words

part of a series, but i'm picking out this one specifically because it's soooo sweet!!! the title fits the fic so well, like yes it is the season of rebirth, but simon and wille's relationship is also rehashed in a very cool way, this fic is like one giant easter egg, i love it so much!

spreadsheet notes: wille taking the season of rebirth to recreate their early relationship, i am obsessed with him he's such a dumbass romantic

The Upgrade by @groenendaelfic | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 13k words

it's about the moment simon realises who wille is. that's why this fic is here. i mean of course also because it is very good, but mainly because of that moment

spreadsheet notes: the moment simon realised who wille is i am wheezing

Right Where You Left Me by @armandgender | spn, deancas | explicit | 94k words

if you're wondering why this fic is on my 2023 list instead of the 2022 list.... well that's because it took me almost a year to read the last chapter, and in terms of how my spreadsheet works, that makes it a fic i read in 2023. anyway. if you haven't read this fic yet, what are you even still doing here. click on that link right now. you want complex emotional situations? intricacies of ill-advised marriages? you wanna pick through abusive behaviour and encourage infidelity? well you're at the right place! also this has one of my favourite jack characterisations ever. it also made me go on multiple rants

spreadsheet notes: I FINALLY FINISHED IT AAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS FIC THE CABIN THE CATS JACK!!!!!

Alejito y Marimar (series) by th0ughts | red, white, and royal blue | teen&up | 18k words

OBSESSED WITH THIS DYNAMIC YOOOOOO. seriously the friendship between alex and martha is an expansion of the rwrb universe that is much needed, trust me

spreadsheet notes: the friendship i didn't know i needed in my life <333 ; they're just chillin!!!

SEPTEMBER

Change of Address (series) by hearmerory | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 134k words

okay. oooookay. strap in for this one, it is a lot. emotionally. like yes zuko is autistic, yes yes yeeees, i agree, also azula is treated like an actual person with actual mental issues, she deserves to be treated with care and this author definitely does that! this is the kind of series that makes me want to disappear in it, but it's also the kind of story i need breaks from, because it is so heavy (definitely check the tags for this one). zuko's relationship with sokka is written so thoughtfully and iroh is characterised incredibly and the author even included ursa in a way that didn't undermine everything that happened in the series before she appeared again. i can only recommend this one!

spreadsheet notes (there's lots of parts to the series, so this one is long): hhhh if i were ms jamieson i would have snapped after two days probably ; be nice katara!!!!! he's nervous ; i need to murder ozai ; and i need to murder zhao as well ; iroooohhhhh he should have just. taken the kids with him that first time he noticed something off ; yeah i think there was a reason why iroh never took zuko to the movies ; ozai needs to suffer ; i need to destroy ozai. violently and painfully ; iroh is the best uncle ever, zuko deserves all his kindness ; azula...... you don't have to fight for affection, it's not a competition..... they love you ; iroh should have taken her with him the first time around, she was like. 10, he could have just picked her up or sth ; ..... hakoda you idiot ; IROH BACKSTORY IROH BACKSTORY ; sokka and the plan that changed his life <3333 ; they are so soft with each other ; they all deserve all the therapy and support and yes sokka obviously you have adhd get with the program ; URSA??????? also i am living for sokka and azula's dynamic they are everything ; i don't. i don't understand her. i don't fucking understand her how could she not want her own children. how can she talk about them like that. like she knows them she doesn't know them she LEFT

Every night my teeth are falling out by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 9k words

i was in need of some good zuko angst and oooohhh boy was i lucky to find this author. PEAK zuko angst. this fic in particular is very dear to me because it explores how mental illnesses would be handled in a world where there's practically no resources to help. i think we need that more

spreadsheet notes: yes well. how DO you deal with a schizophrenic fire lord in a fantasy world? (you stay with him and support him that is how)

OCTOBER

for years or for hours by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 52k words

listennn i love myself some good polyamory fics, and this is the first fic i read for this ship and now i am OBSESSED with them. but this fic in particular.... the concept alone, like. what do you do when you thought the man you love was dead for 800 years, and then when he comes back you have another man you love. the answer is simple. polyamory. the two men you love also love each other. perfect coincidence.

spreadsheet notes: YO the concepts of witchers in modern times alone is sooo cool but adding in everything else? hello yes?

this is a love story by @achillestiel | supernatural, deancas | mature | 3k words

listen, i've never seen fleabag, but that's not the point. this is intriguing and funny, that's the point

spreadsheet notes: fucked up families and you want to fuck the priest hell yeah

The road not taken looks real good now by @stretchoutfics | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 90k words

it's not even the wilmon part i love about this fic (i very much enjoy it of course don't get me wrong) but wille and his kids. like, i don't want to spoil anything but like. wille's interactions with his kids are so important in this fic, and they're written so well. like, emilia is my favourite character in this, i kinda wish there was more with the kids honestly. this fic is definitely a highlight of the year, and to get back to wilmon, i do love how they're portrayed in this fic, how their dynamic plays out, and specifically how certain decisions do not depend on simon

spreadsheet notes: no but. the care put into this story. i can't--

NOVEMBER

Averno (series) by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 12k words

a fascinating take on a fire lord zuko that was never part of the gaang

spreadsheet notes: HE JUST DESERVES KINDNESS but also he's a little fucked up WELL NO WONDER GIVE HIM KINDNESS ; i mean.... what makes a monster really ; well then let's get him out of his cell shall we (also hiiiii suki hello <3333)

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by @hmslusitania | 9-1-1, buddie | teen&up | 34k words

another kid fic!!! but in a different fandom this time!!! seriously, giving buck a child fills so many of my life's needs it's ridiculous

spreadsheet notes: THEY'RE A FAMILY (thank you for giving that man a child)

a soldier (who carries a mighty sword) by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 92k words

everything about this fic is wonderful!! the world(kaer morhen!!)building, the developing dynamic between geralt, jask, and eskel, ciri and yenn, the conflict, jask as a teacher!!!! aaahhhhh!

spreadsheet notes: they're my new favourite guyssss this whole fic is so cool, what they've done with kaer morhen <3333

Will We Last the Night by CSHfic & VSfic | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | teen&up | 143k words

this fic asks what if sokka had been stuck with zuko since the end of s1 and delivers a delightful answer. this is the adventures of zuko and sokka (and sometimes iroh) travelling through the earth kingdom. shenanigans ensue

spreadsheet notes: i am obsessed with this i'm just. i know it was only shortly but their life in ba sing se. obsessed

DECEMBER

Grudge Match by @catcas22 | elden ring | gen | 17k words

i'm not entirely sure how to explain this. it sure is an elden ring fic

spreadsheet notes: i don't even know what to say. this is ridiculous and brilliant and stupid and genius all at the same time. hell yeah suburban demigods

Lonely Digging by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 3k words

this is hilarious. go read it to unlock intense life-threatening flirting

spreadsheet notes: best way to flirt billy's doing everything right

***

(quick note: i’ve tried to find everyone’s tumblr handle, but i’m aware that not all the authors have tumblr/have it on their ao3, however if i somehow missed someone, i can go back and rectify that!)

if you’ve made it all the way down here i am giving you a kiss <3

#pigeon coos #fic reading shenanigans #fic rec #ALL THE LOVE TO FIC WRITERS YOU GUYS ARE DOING AMAZING!!!!

[whimsy-floof]

Holy shit my first real art post in literal years and it's a motherfuckin' crossover piece! FUCK YEAH!

Does this mean my burnout is finally gone? ...........eh, kinda.

OKAY! So A lot has been going on over the last....... SEVERAL years???

I won't go into it too much here, cuz I wanna actually talk about what I'm posting here.

So, Helluva Boss is a show I've been a fan of since episode 1.

A friend of mine and I have enjoyed nerding out about it every time a new episode drops, and Stolas is one of our favorite characters from the show.

Also, I've recently picked up a hyperfixation on the Game Grumps, and especially Dan Avidan, AKA Danny Sexbang.

I particularly really enjoy his music, from his comedy work in Ninja Sex Party and Starbomb to his more serious stuff in Skyhill and Shadow Academy to his collab cover almbums with the Super Guitar Brothers.

ANYWAY, so one day my friendo and I were flinging our obsessive nerdings at each other, and they were like "Imagine Danny Sexbang, but wearing Stolas' outfit."

And I was like, "Hmmm yes, but also consider.... Stolas... in Danny Sexbang's outfit?"

And then inspiration struck, and I had to make it real. SO I DID!

Here he is in all his glory! Stolas Sexbang!

The burnout I've been suffering for the last few years has been AWFUL, and it's so nice to finally be able to sit and do art without the consistent "UUUUGH" feeling that came with the burnout.

Does this mean I'll be posting more? No promises.

This just was a nice little burst of inspiration that I am glad to have been able to follow through on.

Guys, let me tell you it feels SO GOOD to finally have been able to do something like this again. I've been doing like random sketches here and there over the last few years, but nothing post worthy.

This was the first actual project I've been able to get myself to do, and it felt so good.

For a long time, I was feeling like I was never going to recover from this burnout, and I was about ready to give up hoping for it.

But this... Gave me so much relief. You have no idea.

All this to say I can't say I've fully recovered from my burnout, but I can at least say that I've finally started to.

#posts by me #helluva boss #stolas #ninja sex party #danny sexbang #dan avidan #game grumps

[thatdeadaquarius]

HELLO IT IS I AGAIN (Razor's mom /real)

So you know those imposters aus where characters chase the reader for being an 'impersonator'?

What if... It's a continuation from my ask (where we meet Razor first before everyone), and Razor is just confused at the patrolling knights near Wolvendom constantly asking him if he have saw 'the impostor'

Tbh he just shakes his head. Who tf is the impostor????? Wtf is an impostor???????

Many question marks later..

He had encountered an epiphany (not really it's just the Springvale ppl talking about someone copying the creator's looks).

The 'Impostor' they have been searching is you.

But you're not an impostor! Razor knows it! Andrius knows it! And with how the nature and the monster responded to you, Teyvat knows it too!

So like the good son he is, he sheltered you even more severely.

Ur not allowed to go out of his sights at this point (he'll still take you to places with many lampgrasses if you still wanna make a crown w it)

And my imagination ends there, do you think there's something else he'd do?

Ty for answering my last request btw, ur the best and I hope you get your favorite characters w one 10 pull and your desired artifacts w the best stats <3

Much love and sweets

-Razor's mom

RAZOR'S MOM!! HELLO aw im so glad u liked it :)

Srry about the late reply! 💜💜💜

Ok, so I think this is a good time to point to my shiny

Writing Requests/About Me Post I have pinned on my 👉 blog!!👈💅 taaa daaaa :) i did it guys here ya go

Yall have been GREAT so far abt keeping the requests chill and fun, and i dont have that many "Donts" that arent obvious (homophobia, transphobia, ableism,etc)

♡

Dont worry Razor Mom, i just wanted to use this as a way to talk about this!! /nm /gen

♡

About Imposter AU, there are plenty of other blogs/posts that write for that or posts under SAGAU tag! :)

I said wayyy earlier on in some of my first asks, but basically I really want to lighten up the Genshin SAGAU / Isekai tag and branch out from all these darker Imposter AUs :)

And also add more world-building posts or AUs <3

(language brainrot for example)!!

◇

TL;DR: I am not accepting hunting down/yandere/cult au/imposter au Genshin Sagau, only a funny or chill version of it.

Please check my writing rules post :)

Example: u look like Creator, but everybody's like, "oh lucky them wow rlly blessed, have a free drink, etc.

OR omfg where r they?? They descended to Teyvat oh fuck we lost our god-"

♡

Heres the Razor post !!!

If u wanna check it out :]

Cracks knuckles, Saddle up Baby, bc its time for my version of the Imposter AU 🤭😋😈

(and sorry for answering super late/possible scare Razor mom anon!! :'/ )

♡

So it begins rlly small right?

Like, Razor does not know the new knight patroling Wolvendom's borders

,, weird but ok, he thinks basically

And then when it was time to visit some domains a little closer to Springvale for grinding

(Or rlly just to get some of their tiny restaurants homemade food yumm)

He notices more Favonius knights lurking around than usual

Or at least widening their patrols

And hes like wtf?

Ur like, huh.

I'll ask Springvale ppl wtf goin on

The locals respond that the search for the Great Creator has begun.

...

...you and Razor: 👁👄👁 w h o m s t ❔️

◇

Upon further questioning

(which was apparantly weird that yall didnt know, but eh, u just used the whole "feral wolf child with feral blacksmith parent living in woods ignorance" excuse)

Admittedly yall, quite literally, live under a rock lmao

They explain theres a whole ass prophecy

Abt how the Great Architect would succumb to a long slumber somewhere else in the vast universe after making the planet.

And when the time is right, they will reconnect to Teyvat, and awaken, and descend in a mortal form

(like the archons)

◇

..but the kicker is nobody knows wtf they look like bc:

1. All that lore is hella crumbly and old, and very hard to translate

2. Mortal forms sometimes look different than god forms, so even if they did know some defining features of the Creator, that wasnt guaranteed to be them...

◇

(i.e. they will have brown eyes, well. Thats a fuckton of ppl with brown eyes innit? 💀)

♤

So thru certain signs, that this mysterious prophecy wooooo

Said would happen, the nations of Teyvat and their many supernatural inhabitants are aware the ultimate god has descended

(The crops flourished? Animals got more wily, many of the sick ppl got better for no reason, the Irminsul started regrowing/filling out its base- like how it looked like a lightning struck tree rn 💀)

So every country are now trying to find them to be the first to welcome them home

Needless to say its lowkey a competition

◇

Meanwhile you and Razor are just:

... (゜▽゜;)

"Haha yeah cool..."

(Andrius already told u what u r to Teyvat and explained to Razor)

Ur both immediately slapping a cloak on u and keeping the hood up all the time

Yall dont wanna be seperated :(

Ur both paranoid for diff reasons,

Razor's just scared his Lupical is going to be taken from him again bc there r better, more refined humans wanting to be ur Lupical ;-;

And ur like-

Omfg that sounds like sm work 💀

While its nice to daydream abt what itd be like to be famous, realistically,

U could not handle that shit.

People crowding you all the time?

U cant just look busted anywhere u go, like a midnight snack run

Ppl would also expect u be,

Responsible??

To act like a competent ruler maybe???

Hell no.

U just wanted to play a pretty gacha game and spoil ur skrunklies

(At least, if they do wanna call u that, they dont make u do anything political 💀 but u doubt it)

◇

Needless to say, Razor is glued to ur side everywhere u go.

A domain a half mile away? Oh he'll come with dw

Ur gonna go stop by that food merchant further up the road for ingredients? Cool he'll sniff the best ones!

Ur going to see Andrius??

Oh he needed to see him too-

😭😭🥺🥺 poor babe

♧

Surprisingly enough,

Or maybe not his house is right tf there

Diluc is the first person to actually recognize you.

Razor had been subtly steering u away from Mondstadt for 3 weeks now, ever since yall talked to the Springvale locals

An u cant say u didnt notice, but u werent rlly stopping him

You wanted to be like Venti, chillin among the ppl regardless of ur powers, not the Raiden Shogun :/

And maybe shock some ppl who dont know ur a god like him too lol

◇

Diluc had been looking around the lesser patroled areas of Mondstadt to search for the Architect

He didn't even need those incompetent knights to tell him their god had finally descended

He already saw the signs long before Mondstadt

Bc youve been in Wolvendom, the area has flourished over time, more fish in the water, more game to hunt and bigger, crows making circles in the sky despite there being no corpse

And one of the closest places to you,

Is the Dawn Winery.

Diluc's security against Venti began to hold up better, the staff didn't have to clean as much things like dirt or weather damage to the manor,

His hawk had never been faster delivering his letters, he almost thought the little guy had been drugged with something

◇

He patroled Stormterror's Lair, and deep in the woods surrounding the manor that the knights hadn't bother to go into

Afterall, he figured you'd never had a mortal form before, so u were unlikely to fend for urself for very long in the woods lol

so he wanted to find u quick (aww softy :')

He even made a trip out to the Thousand Wind Temple and Dragonspine (he did report that one to the knights, he didn't want Amber, Bennett, or Creator-forbid Klee, being the few pyro users to have to explore it)

Finally, after doing the further away locations, siginificant in history and rich with leftover magic

Diluc figured that's where you might land first, so he saved Wolvendom for last

It would at least let him check on that wolf kid and maybe get to talk to him long enough to ask him if he's seen anything unusual.

The lord of Dawn Winery manor heads into the Wolvendom woods, just as sunset colors the trees...

◇

It was a Friday evening, the sun was setting, the weather was pleasant and it was time for all of the Lupical to come together and eat a big feast!! :)

About once a month, Andrius will come out for a few nights and dine with all of yall

Hes an old wolf give him a break, he takes long naps

So u cook lots of Mondstadt favorites to eat on and a few Liyue dishes too

Razor, ur favorite helper, has helped u finish the last dish and is now romping around with the puppies bless <3

U guys have dragged ur coffee table dining table setup out to sit and eat at

Andrius lets out a not too loud, not too quiet howl, and as the wolves, Razor and you lmao join in

Yall dig in, bones flying everywhere, spagetti noodles flingling around, it would put toddlers to shame lol

◇

Diluc hears a howl that is too... big to be a regular wolf.

It filled the air of Wolvendom like no howl before it, as he used the glowing lampgrass to help light the path deeper

He sneaks past a hilichurl camp or two, all fast asleep

He scans the woods, and figures he'll search the woods besides the path after he gets to that old stone carved pit-

Food?

Diluc sniffs the air, and squints deeper into the forest

The black branches shade the way ahead, but just barely... he can see the flicker of orange and blue light?

He summons his claymore, bracing it on his shoulder, and creeps into the treeline to better hide him

◇

You swear to god (dammit swear to.. you??) someone is watching you.

You look around the piles of fluffy doggos, happy and stuffed full they r slowly forming puppy piles

Andrius is finishing his meat platter, also sitting on all four legs on the ground

Razor is splayed on his back beside you, eyes closed, his feet sticking out the other side of the table, u chuckle at him

But not a single Lupical seems to be looking at you.

Gulping down your last few bites, you scan the treeline

U refuse to be that bitch in a horror movie where their gut says smth is off and they brush it off or barely look at their surroundings

Turning around to the treeline behind you, u see something... red fur?

U sit up some more, peering over the bushes at the bottom of the trees

You meet a pair of warm brown eyes, widened like they're just as shocked to see you

As u notice his familiar red high ponytail (but also not?? Its weird going from 2D to 3D and still recognizing bitches)

U peer down at his chest, as he carefully stands out of the foliage-

That familiar star shaped button that u can press for the character menu screen, the same thats on Razor, on Benny, on Fischl, on Lisa-

Hovers over Diluc's chest.

◇

Diluc is in the bush, observing the human(???) stranger (he really doesnt want to attract the attention of that.. giant spirit wolf thing)

The figure sitting at a ... table?? (He can barely process all these absurdities at once, hes only got so much brain space)

Has sensed his presence, and as he grips his claymore, ready to demand answers,

Razor startles, and jumps up, smelling the pyro user, he summons his weapon-

The figure locks eyes with him, and all he sees is gold.

Diluc drops his claymore.

☆

♡

☆

Have a cliffhanger bc idk 🤷‍♂️ Also srry it wasnt exactly Mondstadt finding u, and it somehow turned into a whole scenario?? Idk man

🤧 welp i hope that was decent Razor mom! Tysm for ur sweet feedback abt our beloved son 🙏💜🐺

Feel free to always talk again, thru comments, asks whatever!! :D

♡

Cheers,

💀♒️

(guys im so stupid i coud've been signing off with this simple emoji combo the whole time,, 😭i didnt actually think abt emojifying my name, just making it look pretty with some of my fav emojis... 😔)

If anyone reads this u should let me know which one is better lol

💀♒️

OR

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

OR like a combo???

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

#bless yalls soul u sent these so long now #jfc its feburary #wtf #hope u like it razor's mom!! #sorry abt my lateass reply 😭 #also sorry i didnt do that version of Imposter AU u originally asked for #i just like my silly little shenanigans ok i cant stop #sorry im just a goofy silly little guy😔 #genshin impact #genshin sagau #my asks #sagau #genshin imagines #genshin sagau ideas #gender neutral reader #genshin isekai #genshin god reader #self aware genshin #platonic genshin #genshin razor

[perfectly-clear-from-here]

ty @alexturnersmommy for the tag!! 15 questions/15 mutuals - right. here we go

1. are you named after anyone?

nope. wish i could say more but its simple as that 😭

2. when was the last time you cried?

oversharing and its bitter aftertaste ahhh fuck it. sobbed my face off few days ago on monday at my grans grave

3. do you have kids?

nah. jesus do i want kids? ehhhh- nah no youre aright

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

...probably. nevermind - yes. one of the phrases i say the most is "aw you've only went and done it havent ye." in a really angry voice when someones done absolutely nothing- which is really confusing cause i also say it in a less angry voice when someone does something really good?? ah

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

their voice!! i find it really easy to like someone if their voice sounds nice and also the opposite, do love a good accent.

6. what’s your eye colour?

hazel ig?? ive got central heterochromia so the centre of my eyes are brown and the rest is green.

7. scary movies or good endings?

good ending all the way. having said that, i am an avid agnst enjoyer so put your characters through hell as long as everything works out <3

8. any special talents?

uhhh i can moonwalk and half stand on my head- that's fun at parties 😭

9. where were you born?

glasgowwwwwww... like 3 months before i should have been 😭

10. what are your hobbies?

writing (shameless plug: read my fic ahhh its my pinned post), playing guitar, sticking ungodly amount of posters and magazines on my wall and uhhh love a good wee dj sesh i wont like *record scratch*

11. do you have any pets?

got a cat called derrikk. aye.

12. what sports do you play/have you played?

does dance count as a sport? eh what the hell. dance, sailing if you count it as a sport- longboarding...if you can count that as a sport 😭 used to do basketball.

13. how tall are you?

oh here we go. i'm 6'... let me tell you i am unstoppable (very much stoppable im an unbalanced bastard) in heels

14. favourite subject in school?

music tech and drama - only class where i can just chuck on my headphones and listen to music while editing projects stuff and in drama i love a good wee bit of the spotlight

15. dream job?

wanna be a film writer and director!! #my first screenplay is a mile long and very much unfinished

oh heres the fun part (remembering tags has to be one of my weaknesses) no pressure/dw if youve already been tagged!: @ballad-of-what-could-have-been @uhbasicallyjustmilex @rainymongerbanditweasel-blog @smokinnicsuckindic @mileskanex christ my memory is actually gonna be the death of me, anyone who wants it, you're tagged!

#oversharing and its bitter aftertaste #kidding #this was alot of fun!

[nickmaghighlights]

Nick Mag Highlights - Nick Mag Presents: Danny Phantom (Fall 2005)

Well, well, well, fancy meeting you here. Welcome back to my blog and the words that inhabit it. Today, Halloween comes early this year when we read through another exciting issue of Nickelodeon Magazine Presents, this time all about Danny Phantom. Boo! Trick-or-Treat! Deck the halls!

And not only is this edition of Nick Mag Highlights spooky, it’s also… pretty chill. Y’know? Just takin’ it easy, reading a handful of comics and probably a crossword puzzle or something. As much as I love researching the kind of stuff Nickelodeon Magazine includes in its articles, sometimes it’s nice to sit back and take things at face value and just see what the state of Nickelodeon was like at any given time, and these short-and-sweet issues of Nick Mag Presents are the perfect venue for just that.

But why exactly am I tackling this purportedly Halloween-themed issue in August? Well, mainly it’s because that new Danny Phantom graphic novel just came out… two weeks ago (oops). And I really enjoyed it! So I’ve since been in a big Danny Phantom mood lately. I even ended up re-watching the whole first season and had a blast doing so. This show was a real obsession of mine as a kid, so maybe this blog post is also a way for me to give it its dues.

This issue can be found online here, read along… if you dare!

Another Nick Mag Presents, another humorously wordy introduction. If you’re unfamiliar, basically all these Presents-styled issues have a panel on the first page with a character essentially advertising the book to you and talking about all the comics and activities included inside. This one here features Danny and an understandably perturbed ghost, for example. 

Since these issues were usually sold in stores as opposed to through a mail subscription, I suppose this is the issue’s way of hooking you in and explaining to you why you should buy it. I think a kid would probably be more inclined to just flip through the book and arrive at the same conclusion, but I guess this approach doesn’t hurt anybody.

But anyway, let’s see here… aw, only two wholly new comics? The Fairly Oddparents-themed issue I took a look at previously had five original comics. That’s a bummer, but at least we’ve still got variety… SpongeBob, My Life as a Teenage Robot, and The Wild Thornberrys, oh my! Even Tak makes an appearance here, two years before the premiere of his actual Nickelodeon cartoon, meaning this was an attempt to interest readers in the then-recently released video game: Tak 3: The Great Juju Challenge. Not sure if that worked.

And if you’ll take a look at that yellow, spiky bubble with words on the right there, this September 2005 issue is meant to coincide with the then-upcoming two episode-long Danny Phantom special, “The Ultimate Enemy”, which featured Danny taking on a more powerful version of himself from the future. Seems like the included removable poster is even themed around that very episode! Let’s just hope that poster is still left intact, eh?

So first up, we’ve got a page to get you up to speed on the main cast if you’re new to the show. It’s even got some new factoids for the already familiar superfans! For example: Did you know Sam is into anime? I sure didn’t.

Oh, and if you’re wondering where series villain Vlad Masters is, don’t worry, they go over him later on in the book.

On the right you’ll find an easy if not slightly amusing word puzzle, which tasks you with solving questions where each answer contains the word boo. Simple enough for a kid while still being worth the time, methinks.

Although all the stock ghost art on the page gets me wondering, how come most of the ghosts in the show manifest as typical-looking cartoon ghosts while others manifest in a human form? I guess maybe it comes down to the strength of your spirit. Who’s to say?

You’ve met the characters, now it’s time to meet the voices behind them! I’ll always take a side of interviews with my Nickelodeon Magazine, and this is no exception. The questions are cute, and I had fun reading them. Not much to say.

So we’re finally here at the first comic of the issue, and… not really a fan of this one! Yeah, sorry to start this retrospective off on a sour note but this isn’t really doing it for me. The main villain of this one is Youngblood, who already isn’t exactly one of my favorite villains from the series. But here they’ve got him and all the other characters stuck in a pretty by-the-numbers plot where Danny and co. get stuck babysitting the brat while he tries to maim them, with them of course unable to fight back lest they face the wrath of his parents (who are humongous lizard monsters, for some reason). 

If you’re even a little familiar with cartoons you’ve probably already seen quite a few takes on this formula already. And even if you like Youngblood as a character they don’t have him doing his usual pirate shtick he’s remembered for, so I’m not sure what anyone is getting out of this, really. What's especially not helping is that this goes on for ten pages, further dragging out an already tired concept. 

So there you have it, I guess. Done-to-death story with accordingly done-to-death jokes, a lame villain, and about two pages of action. I will say though, Danny and Tucker’s babysitting poster on page 2 did get a smile out of me, at least.

You’ve met the characters, and you’ve also met the voices behind them, now it’s time to meet… the rest of the characters! The villain ones! These guys really made the show for me, cause the team behind the show really just seemed to understand the assignment and made all of them really unique and memorable.

So we can see they’ve been ranked in terms of how dangerous they all are, which is a fun idea. ‘Course you’ve got Vlad at the top of, but then there’s Technus just behind him? I can’t say I remember him being notably more dangerous than any of the other baddies, I’m fairly certain he gets swept up at the end of his specific episode just like all the rest. I’m pretty sure Valerie gave Danny a bigger run for his money, and she’s down at #3.

Woah now, I’m starting to scrutinize the power levels of cartoon characters. Cartoon characters from a show I haven’t even fully watched all the way through since I was a kid, no less. Better put a stop to that before it gets ugly.

Cool little cartoons on the left there, that one on the top right is properly devious and I’m all for it. All the art is quite lovely too.

The right is… well, it’s Mad Libs, there’s no other way around it. Y’know the Mad Libs website refers to itself as “the world’s greatest word game” but I seriously think they need to take that up with Scrabble, or hell, even Hangman. Yeah I was never a big fan of this kind of fill-in-the-blanks stuff, but I guess it’s a pretty inoffensive activity to include.

Check out Danny’s dad rocking that emo hair.

And now we’ve made it to the second and last new comic for the issue, and unfortunately it’s only a two-pager. But hey, if my thoughts on the previous ten-page comic said anything, it was that I prefer quality over quantity. And this one is… okay. It’s funny enough, does what all it needs to with the concept, and it definitely doesn’t overstay its welcome. I’m again surprised by the lack of action in both of these comics, considering Danny Phantom is an action show, after all, but it’s not like the show wasn’t a comedy either, so it’s not that weird.

I guess while we’re here I could nitpick it a bit. The lineart here courtesy of series creator Butch Hartman* is a bit wonky at times. There’s the aforementioned emo hair Danny’s dad is wearing, but my main gripe is that dog robot just doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the artstyle. It being the only new original character design for this comic as well doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me. I guess the team was fine with whatever Hartman drew because he made the show after all, so surely he knows what he’s doing, right?*

*Insert obligatory comment about how much of a loser Butch Hartman is here.

Just want to give a shoutout to this pretty creative puzzle here. It actually stumped me a little when I first read it! Those monster designs are pretty entertaining too. Solid activity overall.

Next up it’s an installment of Sam Shade, which was a short-lived recurring series in Nickelodeon Magazine. Apparently the series ran from 2002 to 2005, so this may be one of the last times a Sam Shade comic was ever printed in a Nick Magazine. 

These comics mainly consist of the titular Detective Sam Shade trying to solve some mystery, sleuthing around the area in a series of detailed, wordy scenes. Likewise, you as the reader are as well tasked with scouring the pages for clues to help deduce the culprit. Each panel here smoothly moves into the next, making for something like a Where’s Waldo puzzle but with an actual narrative. It’s a really good idea! A shame this series didn’t last longer.

Hey, is that Carl from Jimmy Neutron on the bottom right there?

Pretty nice My Life as a Teenage Robot comic here. Although that’s kind of unfortunate in a way, since that means I haven’t got much to talk about! It’s pretty much a 1-to-1 translation from animation to comic here. The artstyle and writing are both on point, it’s all just in a shorter, more paper-y format.

I wonder why the aliens’ speech bubble has flowers in it. Is that a theater reference, maybe?

The design of these fiery aliens are particularly awesome - simple but effective. I’m surprised they used such a cool design in a comic that was going to be seen by way less people as opposed to using it in the cartoon. Man, this show is so cool, even its supplementary media is stylish!

But anyway, do you want to know how this story ends? Read it yourself!

Ohh man, I distinctly remember this comic. I don’t remember what issue of Nickelodeon Magazine this one is sourced from, but whichever one it was, I had it. The story’s nothing to write home about really, It's another take on the age old tale of “Squidward yells at SpongeBob and Patrick for doing something annoying, so they inadvertently ruin his life”. Squidward must have a really good lawyer for him to be able to bounce back from all the crap SpongeBob and Pat get him into.

This version of the usual story has S. Bob and P. Rick making a cake in Squidward’s image. Mr. Krabs ends up mistaking it for the real Squidward, bringing it to the Krusty Krab, and having it run the cash register, obviously to disastrous results. It’s all pretty par for the course, and there’s some funny lines to be had.

Weirdly though, unless I’m blind, I can’t seem to find any credits for this one. Not in the comic itself or at the back of the book. I’m pretty sure the artist(s) behind this one did more SpongeBob SquarePants comics though, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the same writing team had a hand in them too. I distinctly remember one where all the characters turn into desserts. Or maybe it was an alternate universe where they’re all desserts? Something like that. Maybe I’ll find it and cover it on this blog someday!

And up next, it’s a Wild Thornberrys comic of all things (said with feigned surprise, having read the table of contents moments ago). And I’m just now realizing none of these comics have anything to do with ghosts, or horror, really. Quite the magazine you’ve got just in time for October, Nickelodeon!

But hey, it’s not right to judge a piece of art specifically by the context in which it is presented. Especially when it was originally published in a magazine that likely came out years earlier, probably not even around the month of October. Desperate times call for desperate measures and all that, even when it comes to filling the pages of a magazine.

This comic is especially cool, anyway, as you can no doubt tell from its distinct shakeup in style!

The story has Eliza receiving some gifts from her Japanese friend, Mayumi (who was probably in the show, presumably), one of those gifts being a homemade manga. And while I’m not exactly an expert on the Japanese arts, I certainly find this art convincing and really appreciate the attention to detail. I bet any kids that were fans of manga around this time must have felt pretty seen to have one of their hobbies referenced in a rather unlikely place, and with such attention to detail no less.

One thing I can also appreciate is that this story really isn’t something they could have pulled off in the show itself (unless they studio really wanted to have an anime-themed episode and go through the undertaking of doing an episode in an entirely different, foreign animation style all on their usual budget), so overall this is a really fun idea done quite flawlessly. My only gripe is we don’t get to see a manga-styled Nigel Thornberry, but what can you do?

Oh boy, the Tak comic, cool. Now, I know these games have their fans, but I can’t say I’m one of them. I did watch the show a bit though, but I’ve heard it has nothing to do with the games, so I guess that makes me rather unprepared to tackle this two-page comic on an intellectual, researched level. I will say though that I think the Sam Shade comic from earlier pulled off this style of free-flowing, no-panel storytelling to a much greater effect. The amount of Taks they threw around the page makes it feel really busy and cramped, and they had to essentially remove the second character Tak is traveling with from the story since I guess they were strapped for page space.

But yeah, the colors are nice at least, and Tak media is especially hard to come by nowadays, so I suppose if I were more into the property, I might be more into this.

Last comic of the day, and it’s Jimmy Neutron. At least this one kinda fits the theme, I mean, aliens are almost in the same horror-league as vampires, zombies, ghosts, and all that. This is a pretty quality one to end off the book with, and in regards to Jimmy Neutron, this is one of the better ways these characters have been translated to 2D. Although the incredibly warm colors and harsh shadows throw me for a loop. Pretty good overall!

Before we wrap things up, I would like to mention that advert for The Nicktoons Film Festival on the right. I totally forgot these used to be a thing! From 2004 to 2009 Nickelodeon hosted a film festival and let viewers vote for their favorite animated short, along with letting proper animation people who know what they’re talking about vote on their favorites, too. Lots of great up-and-coming cartoonists took part in these festivals. This one in 2005 actually featured a short by J. G. Quintel that eventually was used as a basis for his own Cartoon Network show, Regular Show! You can check the short out below:

Neat bit of history there, yeah?

Even though I’m still a bit disappointed this issue didn’t include more original content, I still think this ended up being a fairly entertaining walk down memory lane. And hey, I hope you had a good time too. I’m doubly disappointed, however, that the archive of this issue didn’t come with that tear-out poster! Now we’ll never see it in its full hi-def glory.

As always, thanks for stopping by and checking out another bit of Nick history with me. Have yourself a good one, and I’ll see you all next time!

#nmh post #2000s #2005 #nickelodeon #magazine #danny phantom

[nicolesainz]

Fake it, till you make it (CL16)

Charles Leclerc x reader

Warnings: angst, mostly kissing, enemies to lovers. Everything on this shot is purely fictional. (I mention the break up of Charles, but the reason mentioned here aren’t true)

“Eh come on, you’re not enjoying yourself! I thought this would be fun” Carlos whined as he saw my smile leaving my lips.

“I am having fun. Truly” I wasn’t even looking at Carlos. With the corner of my eye I had noticed Charles sitting in the middle of the bar with a few empty glasses surrounding him.

“I know that Charles bothers you but tonight he won’t. He’s not in the mood to tease you”

“How do you know that? Maybe he’s faking it”

“Charlotte broke up with him”

My body froze for a moment. Charlotte had been with Charles for a handful amount of time. Followed him at almost every race and even when not attending, posting about it on her insta. She was very supportive of his career. This was unexpected.

“What? When? Why? How?”

“Slow down there! Well, they broke up a few days ago and the why, is kinda complicated”

“What do you mean complicated?”

“With the pressure of wanting to win the championship and constantly being away, even during holidays and staying close to the factory, can seem like you neglect your partner”

“But..but that’s his job! What else is he supposed to do? He’s got no choice. Sacrifices need to be made”

“Don’t tell me, I know it firsthand. Maybe Charlotte didn’t want to be an obstacle on this dream and also wanted to focus on herself too.”

I’ve never felt bad about Charles before. Ever. I always ignore and mock him, because he constantly finds a way to insult me somehow but now, I felt sympathy for him.

“Oh. Well, I hope he gets better soon. Breaks ups happen in life. People come and go”

“You should have told that to yourself when you broke up with—“

“Ah ah ah! That’s not the same. Definitely not the same case Carlos. I was cheated on. They had scheduling conflicts.”

“So, why was Charlotte at the podium today? Why did she come all the way to Abu Dhabi?”

“As a final goodbye to him. Before dating, they were friends too, so why hang up on him now? A friendship shouldn’t end because a relationship did”

“I guess you’re right”

“So at least you should enjoy tonight! I don’t want another grumpy person around. Go find Isa and the girls”

“I will. Thank you Carlos”

“And if you need me anything, I’m over there with Lando”

I simply nod and pave my way towards the bar. I know it was a really bad idea to even go there, but something tempted me to do so.

Charles’s head was facing the hard wood of the bar’s surface and his hand was holding a semi finished vodka shot. Suddenly I felt a pinch at my heart. No no no, this is not happening!

What do I do now? Do I say sorry? Do I console him? Do I drive him back to the hotel? I don’t know how to drive a Ferrari what am I even thinking?

“Hey Charles” was all that came out before I received a groan as an answer. Great!

“Do you need any help? Want me to take you back to the hotel?” Finally, he raised his head and looked towards me. His eyes were red and sore. He was in an awful state. No matter how much I disliked him, I didn’t enjoy seeing him like this.

“What do you want from me Y/N?” He said before drinking the last sip from the shot.

“To help you! You’re drunk and apparently in a horrible state”

“Wow, what a way to make a man feel happy. Thanks”

“Ugh! Just tell me if you need anything. I’m trynna show some sympathy here”

“I don’t need you to pity me Y/N. Go find someone else’s ass to annoy”

“Fuck you Charles! Keep acting like this and you’ll remain alone”

Before I could move away from the chair, Charles grabbed me angrily by the arm.

“What did you say?”

“Stop being cruel!”

“Or what? I’ll die alone? I don’t care anymore. As it seems no one cares about me either! So it’s a win win case”

“You’re not letting anyone help you that’s why!”

“And why should I? I don’t need anyone to pity me after a hard time”

“I am sorry”

“Are you mocking me right now Y/N? Why are you apologizing?”

“Because of what I said”

“I don’t need your apology. I wasn’t offended”

“Ok fine, you know what? I give up. Have a good night Charles”

I release my arm from his and go to where Carlos and Lando are sitting. It was wrong to try and comfort Charles. He’s heartless anyway.

“Hey, I saw you at the bar with Charles. What did you say to him?” Carlos asked the moment I sat down next to him.

“I asked him if he needed anything, but was a total dick to me, so I gave up”

“Give him some time Y/N. I get what he’s going through. I felt like shit when me and Luisa broke up too. It wasn’t easy. I know you’re just trying to help” Lando tries to relax me with his words

“I understand that feeling too, Lando, but he could have at least declined my offer in a nicer way”

“Oh uh” Carlos exclaims

“What?” I looked at him quizzed. Then I turn around and see an angry Charles coming towards our way.

“Can I talk to you Y/N for a moment?”

“No”

“Y/N!” Carlos and Lando both look at me with raised eyebrows!

“Please. Just for five minutes. Then I’ll let you to your peace”

I raise and follow him towards the bar once more.

“I acted like an asshole before. I am sorry Y/N. You simply came to help me and I just got all cranky with you for no reason. I’ve been in the shambles lately and my mood is not exactly the best it’s ever been. Please forgive me.”

“You did act like an asshole and you were pretty mean for no reason, but I forgive you. I get it”

“You get what?”

“Break ups are never easy. I am so sorry. Carlos told me the news”

“I was kinda expecting it to happen. At least now she’s free and won’t have me as her burden”

“You weren’t her burden. You were someone she loved and didn’t enjoy seeing so broken and pressured most of the time”

“The past few months had been shit and I wasn’t exactly nice towards Charlotte. She deserves better than this.”

“You’re a good man Charles. And you deserve to be happy too. This season had been mostly painful but you did the best you could. We are all proud”

“I’ve actually never heard you say a good thing about me, so could you please repeat that so I can voice record it” he cracks up a joke to lighten the mood

“Hey, I’m trying to be nice here. And that’s the truth though. You gave it everything” I flash him a kind smile and probably the only smile I have in the two years I’ve known him.

“Thank you Y/N. Carlos is a smart man for having you around. You’re very sweet and I don’t deserve this. I should be sorry for all the things I’ve said about you. You realize I don’t mean them, right?”

“Wait! You don’t? But I thought you disliked me?”

“For what? Being nice and supportive? Are you serious? I was only teasing you to make you a bit mad. Because I am mad about you! I remember you during the podium celebration at Monza. It was one of the toughest races I’ve had this season and even though Carlos wasn’t on the podium, you were there for me. To cheer and be happy.”

My cheeks blushed in milliseconds. How does he remember me being on the podium celebration? I wanted to congratulate him, because even after getting pole, he lost the first place, which was heartbreaking. And hold on, did he say he’s mad about me? In like, the good way?

“Y/N?”

“Yes” our eyes had never locked this way before. It felt like he was looking deep into my soul, trying to find a way to say that “it’s okay, we are good now”

“May I kiss you?”

I don’t reply to him but simply connect our lips. I could feel a smile growing against his lips, but he immediately hid it and put more of himself into the kiss. His hand caressed my cheek and held my face firmly. I couldn’t believe that I was actually kissing Charles. The kiss was becoming even more deep and hungry. Sadly, he pulled away to take a breath.

“Oh, I wanted to do this for such a long time” Charles confessed and my jaw immediately falls on the floor.

“I think I like you now, Mr. Vice Champion”

“I think I’ve always liked you”

#formula 1 #ferrari #charles leclerc #charles leclerc one shot #oneshot

[definitelynotshouting]

OUGH ok I think I might sign off then cus I have been holding off on sending brainrot but now the chemicals have been triggering an I am mentally ill over them EHE

“Do you think they wear secret tokens of each other's affections. Do you think they hold them close at night and hope to every god they can think of that one day they'll be happy. Do you think they take one last deliberate breath as they hold it close and die.”

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY ON EVERY ACCOUNT. Cub asking where Scar keeps disappearing off to and why he keeps showing up with bits of feather fluff in his hair, or why he suddenly has so much new jewelry bits like a new wooden bead necklace or an earring that isn’t his usual swirling gold. Or Pearl trying to figure out why Grian has a little leather cord with blue gems suddenly and why does he smell like magic? So Pearl tries to follow Grian but he’s just CONVENIENTLY TOO GOOD AT DISAPPEARING WITHOUT A TRACE. All the while Scar and Grian just have a terrible habit of disappearing to spend time together bc it hurts to be apart and their hearts can only ache for so long AUAUUGHHJJJJ- They just hold each other and run their hands through hair and feathers and trace freckles and scars and pray for a time when they can do that without being afraid :’) AHHAHAHA and then. Once they’ve been found out and fought to find each other one last time in secret (although they know it’s only a matter of time before the ones hunting them draw near and begin fighting again) they swear their deaths will be by their own hands, if only to have the last bitter laugh (oh god the poetry, its coming out of my BRAIN). They’re found embraced together, looking sweet and peaceful but gone nonetheless, and WOOOO their sides have the sense to at least realize how much they’ve fucked up because GOD DO I LOVE SUFFERINF AND ANGST WOOOOOOOOOOOO- (ok whoopsie didn’t mean to go so awful and angsty there I had to cut it up with a little bit of humor lulz) - um I suppose 🦀 anon??? IDK I LIKE CRABS they’re little snippy guys :3c ALSO SORRY IF THIS COMES OUT WEIRD TUMBLR IS BEIN FUNKY FOR ME ;-;

previous post

OH THIS IS SO VERY HEARTBREAKING ANON.... man. Smth so personal about dying in your lover's embrace,,, also im obsessed with how this is a romeo and juliet au but theres magic in it that Pearl can sense, thats got such flavour /gen

I love this anon!!! Also pls ur talking to the angst machine that came up with hunger au, i eat this shit up for breakfast >:]

#scarian #hermitcraft #hermitshipping #shouting speaks #asks #CRAB ANON..... i love crabs they are so cute #one time my cousin and i did a sound check on his computer by watching someone review the top ten most beautiful crabs #i think we sat there for a solid 10-15 min just crabgazing #and then we moved onto snails #txt

[tips-from-a-tech-worker]

It's been some time, eh?

Howdy folks! It's been some time since I last properly posted on here, huh?

Just as a warning, I am going to be getting into some deeply personal stuff, as well as deeply distressing stuff relating to myself and wider society, so if you're not in the right place for that, I suggest you skip past this.

Firstly, I just want to say thanks so much for all of you still engaging with this rarely updated page. I post maybe once a year, and a lot of the time it isn't even anything to do with what I originally created this page for: to show off code that I thought was particularly pretty, or code that made something particularly pretty.

I still enjoy all that stuff, no doubt about it. But I've honestly found it quite tricky to be enthusiastic about writing code at the moment.

For context, I work at a university developing apps and websites for medical research. That sounds quite valuable and fulfilling right? I mean I thought so too for such a long time. But lately, I've been having my doubts.

A lot of what we do make creates so much added overhead for doctors, where they already barely have time to see patients as it is. It also adds so much overhead to the lives of patients who engage with these apps. Most of our apps are for mental health help, and our research studies show that participants always engage and love it.. But they're research participants.. They're already self-selecting to be engaged and interested. As it turns out, a lot of mentally unwell people do not have the capacity for any of the stuff we make - myself included!

On top of not feeling like my work is contributing - on the contrary, it feels like it is making things worse - universities here are, in practice, dictated by private interests and the "market", whatever the hell that is. It is nominally funded by the government, but they largely do not do that. Because of this, they run as businesses.

Oh, your department isn't profitable anymore despite doing incredibly important work? Well, the market says you gotta go. You and 10,000 people who work there.

Some academic staff have half an hour of free time in the middle of the day? Well, that obviously means that we can fire a tonne of admin and put all that labour onto the backs of the researchers.

Oh, we fired all the cleaners at the beginning of the pandemic, but now things have opened again we have no cleaners? Well the students can handle that one! That's free labour!

It's all a bit maddening.

On top of all that as well, our university has decided that rather than solve any of these issues, it's going to ignore them, on top of many other issues of racism, transphobia, homophobia, antisemitism, islamophobia, you name it! All this, in the face of raking in millions in profits every year.

I know a lot of that is nothing to do with software development, but as software development is part of my job, and my job is within the university, you might imagine that this leaves a slightly awful taste in my mouth.

What stings even more is that I thought working in the university was the preferable choice. I worked in a couple of privately ran tech companies a while ago, and it was hell on earth. And now, finding out that the supposed "escape route" is also as bad.. Code is the last thing on my mind. It's the last thing I want on my mind.

Just a bit about me. I am a non-binary person. I've known this all my life, despite not really having the language to describe it. Since I was very young, every encounter I had with "gender" REALLY distressed me for some reason. I had put it down to patriarchy, sexism, all that horrible stuff, and for a large part that was true. Like all that stuff is SUPER distressing. But it didn't explain the whole picture.

Over the pandemic I had time to properly sit down and reflect on myself and my identity - and SO much more but I'm trying to keep things focussed here! I finally put a pin in it, and that helped so much. A lot of the gender distress, whilst still there as background noise, went away. Clouds were lifted. ...Until now clouds found their way in..

Not sure if anyone is aware, but the UK (yes sorry I'm British) is a deeply transphobic society - well, at least the parts of it you are allowed to see through the lens of the privately owned media. Discovering, or at least admitting to myself, that I was non-binary was a huge step forward into the gaze of this society. A society whose public conversation is largely captured by transphobic actors. Lord Alan Sugar - ruling class in every aspect, JK Rowling - a castle owning bigot who wrote a few books that people seem fixated on, almost the entirety of the Conservative and Labour party, just about every newspaper column that exists (including the supposedly progressive ones).

On top of that, none of these people who are in control of society, or at least have a lot of influence over it, seem to want to do anything about the existential problems we're facing. Climate change, multiple health crises, poverty, etc. You name it, god forbid they action anything to resolve this.

But what has this got to do with coding? Well not much honestly.. But whilst all this is rattling in my head, and I am trapped making code for people that do not care about me - or at worst, actively want to see me removed from society - and I'm making code that doesn't do anything useful, I know I'm not doing anything that could help all this. I'm too shattered after a day of doing a job I hate to do anything positive.

I've taken the last month or so off work on sick leave, and honestly I am tempted to take more off. The ONE good thing about working at the university is it's sick leave policy. As an employee of 3 or more years, I am entitled to 6 months sick leave at full pay. I feel like I should probably make use of that, eh?

But during my time off I have been focusing on myself. Playing video games, streaming a bit, and hey, even faffing around with bits of code! But also..

I don't know if it's obvious from my videos - I mean, you'll have probably figured this out from this very post - but I am very politically engaged to say the least. And over the years of seeing issue after issue not being addressed by people supposedly there to help us, I've come to the conclusion that we should probably start helping ourselves. We live in a society where everything is dictated by a few very rich individuals, and the majority of us have to just accept whatever decree is issued upon us. I don't particularly think that this is a fair, just, or even effective structure of society. And over the past few years I've come to the realisation that it doesn't have to be.

Society is built and maintained by people who do the work. Farmers, mechanics, shop assistants, doctors, firefighters, teachers, and yes even coders. We spend our lives answering to a series of bosses telling us what to do, how to do our jobs, when we should work, when we should go home, and things really do not have to be this way.

As a bare minimum, I have become quite the advocate of worker-cooperatives. That is, companies that are owned, managed, and ran entirely by the people who work at them. There are quite a few examples of this across the planet but the largest of which is Mondragon.

But I don't necessarily think that is enough to fix the issues in the world. Sure, they help in the immediate. Give workers a chance to be able to control their lives, make a decent living, etc. But workers-cooperatives still have to engage in "the market" - again, nobody has explicitly told me what this is yet. But because they do, then the threat of climate collapse is still there. Some of you might have clicked as to where I'm going with this.

To put it plainly, I am a communist. Now already that is conjuring some fantastical image in your minds of a glorious (or despotic) workers' republic, men with big beards, and big red stars (which personally I am at least a little sympathetic to but I get why people would be hesitant of this). I just wanted to dispel a few myths whilst I'm here.

I advocate and am actively trying to help build a society where everyone in a community - be that a workplace, where a group of people live, or where a group of people play - has an equal say in how that community is ran. History has thousands of examples of collectively ran communities from early civilization right up to the modern day. And whilst none of them were particularly perfect (nothing ever is), they put people in a position where if an issue came up, people could coordinate and try and resolve this issue.

To do this, I am actively involved in IWW union organising. I think the best way for workers to gain collective and equal control of society is by capturing it one workplace at a time so that each and every workplace is fair to the people who do the majority of the work.

But what does this have to do with climate change? With transphobia? Any of it? Well, as said before, a lot of our society is owned by some very rich individuals who will do anything they can to keep hold of what they got. These people aren't inherently "evil" or whatever. But the system of which we exist in encourages them to hold onto what they have by any means necessary. To do this, and they might not even realise they're doing it, they will try and make sure that everyone else is at each others throats by pushing transphobia, racism, all that horrible stuff.

As well as this, those individuals often have friends who own the coal industries, the oil industries, the gas industries, etc, etc. All of whom make their living off those pollutants. It is in their interest to make sure those industries make money. They're not going to change their minds because that is how they survive. But were society controlled by everyone, especially those who would be actively affected by climate change, then something could actually be done.

Okay. But what the HELL does this have to do with coding? Well.. It was a starting point for me. It led to all these thoughts. All these realisations. I started thinking about what I was doing, what I was making. Then I thought about why I was doing it, why my boss wanted me to do it. Then kept expanding from there. Eventually, it painted this whole picture.

I know by this point I will have lost a lot of you. Some people will have immediately seen the long post and gone "Nah, I ain't reading that" and honestly I don't blame you. Some people will have seen the word "communist" and flown off into a rage-induced coma. Again, I don't necessarily disparage people from reacting like that in the face of everything people are told about communists. But I felt that saying all this in the open was appropriate. Every year it feels like we're coming closer and closer to collapse. We can already see it around us. Wear and tear. Cracks slowly expanding. And nobody is doing much to stop it. People are barely pointing at the cracks. Some people are insisting they've always been there, or that they're not there at all. I NEED people to know, and to do something, and to want to do something.

Congrats for making this far. I know the tail end of this has gone into a bit of a poorly structured ramble (as if the rest wasn't..). All this to basically say, I don't think I want to use this page to show off code. I think it can be much more useful than that.

From here on, the posts you will see here will relate to community organising (mostly workplace union organising) and practical things people can do to try and gain some sort of control.

I understand that this will upset, confuse, and even anger some people. But I need to do this for myself. But not only that, I want to do this for everyone else.

Feel free to unfollow, ask questions, do whatever. But please understand that things are getting a bit desperate.

Once again, thank you all so much for all the support and interest over the years. I started this in 2014/15 when I was in a bit of a pit of dispair and wanted to show off something I was passionate about to keep the darkness at bay, and you all helped so much with that. I don't think I'll ever forget this community, but I must move on.

Stay safe, and solidarity. xox

P.S. Apologies for the typos. I was going to run through this a second time. But I REALLY just want it all off my chest now. We can work through it together if need be. <3

#code #software development #update #me #personal #ramble #tumblr #community organising #lgbt #nonbinary

[star-vibing-prompts]

Random quotes from different Fandoms as prompts.

Yes you can use these. Yes you can change the pronouns. Also NOTE: None of these are in particular order.

Warnings: Mentions of drugs, swearing, a very long post, and maybe yandere stuff??

"I hope he didn't care about that pizza..."

"[Name], have you seen [Name] this morning?" "Yeap. He's hanging out with some weirdo. I think he's trying to vaporize [Name]."

"[Name], I blame YOU for this." "Eh, that's fair."

"Also, I cleaned up your awful, awful mess. You’re welcome." "You did WHAT?! I have a system!"

"I never asked for it to be this way. I never asked to be made!"

"Admit it. I'm just an embarrassment to you!"

"I'm not gonna let you stand there and remind me of everything I hate about myself!"

"How will StarClan come back if we keep breaking the code?"

"I really-really-like you. I've always felt that we might be mates one someday. And now that I'm a warrior, maybe this is the time for us to start thinking of each other in a new way?" "I'm sorry. I had no idea you felt like this, [Name]. I like you a lot, but I always thought of you as a friend-a really good friend, almost like another littermate. I've never felt...that way about you." "But now that you know how I feel...do you think that in time, [Name] you might feel the same way?" "I don't think so. Actually I...I like another cat. I'm so sorry, [Name]."

"Wow, [Name]. I know your thing is honesty, but come on!"

"No disrespect ma'am, but there's a big difference between pushing yourself as hard as you can, and just being reckless. And if being reckless is what gets rewarded around here, if that's what it means to be a Wonderbolt, then I don't want any part of it."

"Hey, now wait a minute! Just because I don't have a pet now doesn't mean I never want a pet!"

"Oh, that's my new toy. Pretty, isn't she? I bet I'm the only queen with my very own RainWing."

"Now really, this is getting insulting. You're in my territory. Apparently you're living under my mountain. I am only the most important dragon for hundreds of miles. How dare you not recognize me?"

"It doesn't matter what Earth is like, it's not going to be like anything soon!"

"Don't you Gems have anything better to do than annoy me?"

"Ohh, I adore these fantasies! They have the best fashions."

"Wait! I-I wouldn't have called just to waste your time with a report."

"Just being on a ship with [Name] made me tired."

"So am I gonna have to wear a star? Where am I gonna put the star?!"

"It'll be better this time. I've changed. You've changed me. I'm the only one who can handle your kind of power."

"You can't lie to me. I've seen what you're capable of. I thought I was a brute, but you... you're a monster."

"There's always someone to fight! There's just no one left worth fighting..."

"Uh, that was way more explosive than I expected."

"Someone ordered some noodles?"

"Yeah. I was about to take my break. So..."

"To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?"

"Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore? Aw, well shucks."

"OH MY GOD! My drugs! Damn it!"

"W-well I-I just wanted to look a little nicer for you. This is our first real date after all."

"I'm sorry, [Name]. I'm sorry for…everything…happening right now. I know it's…a lot. I, uh-- I should have listened."

"We're rich and we are hot. People want our money AND our bodies! Speak for yourself, princess."

"I swear… If you go near her I will destroy you!"

"I don't care what your arrogant brother thinks!"

"That. Was the sound…OF A FUCKING DIVORCE!"

"My hair is ruined!"

"My face. My face! MY FACE! GIVE ME BACK MY EYES!"

"I bet you don't even HAVE friends..."

"Your fans are watching you right now. I know."

"What's that supposed to mean, you got a problem or somethin', sour cream? Don't fuck with me!"

"Alright shit talker, but there hasn't been a soul yet who can beat me at my own game. So you better bring the fire baby!"

"Could've just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing."

"Do you think they saw me? Fuck! I did my make-up shitty today!"

"Oh, what does it matter?! You’re not my real dad, I was almost eighteen!"

"Totally. But since then, you've had me teaching you. You're stronger now. Don't you feel stronger?"

"I found out where it lives."

"I've won. You can all see that. We can end this now, without killing anyone. I ask you all to let him live!"

"He's just a human! He isn't a threat at all! He's not one of them!"

"I just want to go home."

"You don't understand! Just leave me alone."

"Slow down, kiddo. This is the thanks I get for checking in on my favorite student?"

"Unloaded all your secret insecurities on me! I know! But hey, no shame in that, man. Sometimes you just gotta talk it out, y'know? I don't really do it. Maybe I should. But we'd be here all day so..."

"Totally. But since then, you've had me teaching you. You're stronger now. Don't you feel stronger?"

"What we had wasn't healthy. I never want to feel like I felt with you. Never again! So just go!"

"I was terrible to you. I liked taking everything out on you. I needed to. I-I hated you. It was bad!"

"[Name], you can still wear the hat, if you want." "Thanks, but I'm not putting that on my body."

"It was an endless, crushing darkness. Wet and bleak and suffocating. Water was the tomb I lived in for those months."

"You do realize that I spent the last few months trapped under the ocean, right?"

"For a moment, I really felt like things were different, but they're not. No matter where I go, I'm trapped."

"I'm done being everyone's prisoner! Now you're MY prisoner! And I'm never letting you go!"

"Let's stay on this miserable planet, together!"

"Spoiler alert, the butter is spoiled."

"Sorry I fucked your husband."

"The FUCK is "insurance"?"

"It's only just come into existence, and it already doesn't like us."

"He can be a real sweetheart once you get to know him."

"We knew for sure you would prevail."

"I'm the monster."

"You're... going to LOVE ME!"

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way, how about a game?"

"A baby dragon! Oh, I've never seen a baby dragon before. He's so cute."

"[Name], I think our work here is done." "Put your clothes on, [Name]."

"I just want everyone to know: my plan would have also worked."

"All that matters is that [Name] is happy."

"What's in these things?"

"That's not my baby!"

“If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I’d probably be a bit irritable at night, too.”

“I’m still here. I will put you back together."

#star prompts #vibe prompts #writing prompts #creative writing #angst prompts #creative prompts #dialogue prompts #imagine your otp #otp prompts #imagine your ocs #steven universe #warrior cats #helluva boss #hazbin hotel #wings of fire #quote prompts #monkie kid #prompt list #my little pony #fnaf #littlest pet shop #tw mentions of drugs #tw swearing #tw long post #tw yandere #prompt list friday #steven universe prompts #warrior cats prompts #wings of fire prompts #Monkie kid prompts

[ahundredtimesover]

omg i didn’t think you’d answer my ask HAJSHSJSKS cue the kilig feeling 🥰 everything i know about basketball, learned unwillingly cos of my kuyas and tatay who changed the channel whenever there was a san miguel/tnt/lakers ateneo game PLUS they made me watch slam dunk din so every time yoongi mentions that my eye twitches cos *war flashbacks to when i wanna watch my cartoons*

but i’ve come to terms with the trauma EME 😭 jk lang it actually helped when i started writing for my uni’s publication and covered basketball games. sa uaap, i’m also really a fan of admu kahit di ako atenista HAHAHHAJSKSJS and yes that doug kramer clutch—one of the highlights of the entire uaap tbvh. i can’t imagine witnessing that LIVE. iba na rin uaap ngayon eh. (and ph basketball in general. sad na wala na yung hype masyado which i’m not surprised at all given how problematic the players are like???? sighs. toxic masculinity ew—theory q lang naman tho)

your writing is AMAZING pls like i’m not even kidding. you’re seriously one of the best writers across all platforms bc you can truly see and feel the effort you put in making your stories and dare i say you also don’t make your audience feel dumb (i can make a whole other 10-page essay about this PLS pero wag muna) and respect them by creating all these nuanced and character-driven stories (which is SO hard to find). i’m rereading “a still day or a hurricane” as a law girlie now 🥺

i hope the stories never stop forming in your head and i hope you experience so many great things in life that will inspire you to continue writing for many years to come cos who says there’s an age limit in writing fanfics???? 🧐 but also don’t forget to take care of yourself, ate mimi (yie ate 🥹). stay hydrated in this god awful heat!!! baka dumalas ako sa inbox mo i’m SORRY

- coj 🩵

Hiii I am here! Late to reply but I'm here! And lolll a usual story! It often starts with the men haha. My dad was a huge fan, too, so our TV always had basketball on. But I've come to love the sport even as a spectator! Whereas you've come to use it as a journalist nakkssss 😌😌 hahaha but true. PH basketball is sooo different now. I think it's also the culture. I can't even keep up with the conferences and the players and stuff. Nice to know my UAAP heroes are thriving but it's just not the same.

As for your lovely words... THANK YOU. 🥹 I'm such a context person in that I like exploring the why's of people - why they do what they do and say what they say. It always comes from somewhere, and a lot of it is fear. It's such a human feeling, so is desire. But I love writing about love, too, and that itself is complicated and beautiful. And I know it's just fanfic but it's a way for me to kind of release all these reflections and insights into the world and I'm just happy you're able to connect with these very flawed fictional humans! There's a little of us in them for sure! 💕

Lol sometimes I wish the stories would stop bc I won't stop thinking about them! I literally have scenes and dialogues written up for stories that idk if I'll ever get to actually write but yeah, hopefully there's energy and inspiration to match the ideas. One day I’ll probably have a “scenes from stories I’ll never write” post 🥲🥲

Pls stay cool and hydrated! Be safe always! 💕💕

#mimianswers #💌

[fff777]

just a reaction post on jaemin being a PE teacher

jaemin: lmao i am not qualified for this

i did hear that jaemin's mom was a teacher

contrary to what he said, i feel like haechan could be a good teacher because he would keep the students engaged, but that would depend on whether he was serious about staying on topic lol. if he was intent on goofing off then ah, maybe not ^^;;

jeno a math nerd eh

lmao mark arguing with the teacher about english

he's so amused

i've never seen a chalkboard eraser cleaning machine. i think we just washed them manually lol. definitely did in elementary school.

principal getting nervous on camera ^^;;

jaemin asking the important questions about a PE teacher's uniform

the other teacher working at his desk who's also listening in on the convo lol

teacher: please study these textbooks intensively jaemin: ...yes...of course...

teacher wonpyo wrapped the badminton grip :P

lol teachers wearing their whistles in their pockets because it's cool. definitely saw my fair share of folks in university having the lanyards of their keys sticking out of their pockets.

teacher teaching jaemin how to turn a mistake into an opportunity XD i remember i had a substitute teacher who told us how whenever they got a question they didn't know the answer to, they'd flip it back to the students as a discussion question lol. teacher tricks.

also always finish a little early because you'll be popular with the students

...is jaemin referring to all the students with -ie at the end? am i missing a korean grammar thing or is he cute-ifying all of their names lmao.

ok i see what the program means. their idea was that students would focus more if their favourite celebrities were their teachers. i was skeptical because i think i would just be kind of dazed seeing my favourite celeb up close. but i think the idea is that they try harder when they like their teacher XD like i would definitely want to impress my teacher if i liked them lol.

he thinks the kids are cute XD

explanation of badminton and its history. i actually didn't know it came from india. despite having played badminton throughout middle school and high school.

i do remember hearing somewhere that jaemin did play badminton so i think he does have the above average knowledge on badminton to teach it a bit

jaemin missing the basket after two students got it on first try ^^;;

that girl who's really good has probably trained in badminton before hehe

i feel like lunch with teachers could be really juicy for gossip lol

excellent for gas emission

i can see why kids don't have name tags now, especially with social media. you could film a video with students and now everyone knows those students' names. some of the students in the class were wearing face masks too. i don't know if it's because they knew they were going to be on TV.

PE teacher just doesn't remember the kids' name ToT

LOL relatable

lol this PE teacher is fun

now one-on-one counselling time with students

so fucking excited to hear the tea on high school romance

now i'm wondering if this situation is real or if they just made it up for the show ^^;;

yeah he does seem that way, he seems like the guy to turn everything into an opportunity

mister romantic

oh this was filmed on white day, a few weeks ago then

he is sooooo into this XD

aw, i feel for the second student, the vp of the student council...i had a bad relationship with my older brother too for a very long time.

the plot twists with this student just keep coming

meirl after making a phone call

third student wants to ask about career concerns

jaemin creating a scenario for the student to act in lmao

jaemin: we are best friends now

#screencaps & commentaries #nct #nct dream #na jaemin

[sea-drifter]

A new ship? TELL ME ALL !!!!!

also I'm glad your day got better !

AND SO HERE IS YOUR DAILY KISS

MWAH!!!

I FINALLY GOT TIME TO POST SO HERE GOES- CANT BELIEVE IM NOT THE FIRST TO SHARE THIS SHIP BUT AT LEAST THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO SHARE THE VISION-

also this is a very late reply wow- ANYWAYS-

So i was just thinking one day y'know, like, what if i shipped my first genshin crush and my latest genshin crush, and it resulted to

"Diluc x Kaveh" I was like, "haha, they're perfect for each other" as a joke...but bro...I don't think it's a joke anymore... also for the shipname, i was either DilVeh that's kinda eh or KaLuc that u can misread as KaeLuc But then i decided to call it DiVe!! the first one still pronouncing their names a bit, this one is just straight up dive cuz i wanna dive into their overflowing potential of a ship- This is gonna be a long rant about how they met and headcanons [which I will post separately] so be prepared- TW: ooc, mentions of alcohol but only a bit pls still do enjoy and see if you'd ship them with me^^

Diluc being a head of the Dawn Winery just gets him bitches y'know. And the Ragnivindr clan being nobles in the past just adds to that, he's a- Anyways- How I think they'd meet: Let's say Kaveh has been traveling with traveler and paimon for a bit and he may have done some changes to the serenity pot as thanks for letting him sleep in a comfortable bed and not just outside of al haitham's house. And since other genshin characters visit there sometimes too, ofc word of The Light of Kshahrewar's works would spread out. And that's where Kaveh lands in Mondstadt, commissioned to build something there or perhaps just commissioned to make a Mondstadt-inspired home/building for someone. Ever since Kaveh got that commission, he knew he had to save a lot of money for the famous wine of Mondstadt. And as we know, Kaveh is a lover of wine, so The Angel's Share is a must-go visit for him on this search for inspiration! Plus, where's he gonna find inspiration without a bit of chillaxing first, right?

With his smarts and passion for the arts, he would clearly love Mondstadt. The poems and bards, the flowers and freedom, oh so different to Sumeru who even banned such wonderful performances! He definitely fell for Monstadt first. Being lucky enough to make reservations to an Inn, though not nearby,(let's pretend there's an Inn in Springvale since the goth grand hotel is occupied by the fatui.) He sets off to Angel's Share. With how pretty this man is, you can't deny eyes were on him. A foreigner from afar with a beautiful physique, his shirt showing his back and chest tells the patrons of the bar that he is very confident in his appearance. Though the redhead by the counter didn't seem to even stare a bit and only looked up to see who came in and started making another drink. Anyone would've been hurt or offended but Kaveh was too stunned to see the Diluc Ragnvindr in the flesh and merely stood in awe by the counter. Ahhhhhhhhh two hot people in the same place, the bar is practically melting, save for the drunk ones who are already beyond the comprehension of their surroundings.

"Ah, I'm truly in luck today." Kaveh chirped as he sat down.

"I'm so happy to taste the famous wine of Mond and have the head of the Dawn Winery as the bartender himself!" He praised more. "My pleasure dear guest." "Coming from all the way to Sumeru, I think the pleasure of meeting you shall be mine. After all, you're quite more of the star here tonight than I am." Yea yea, Diluc doesn't like idle chit-chat, but like, I can see Kaveh just throwing flowers at him with his vocabulary and making Diluc have to respond. Though of course the attention is thrown back to Kaveh as patrons start swirling around him asking questions about Sumeru and perhaps if he's single- Drink after drink, Kaveh has become drunk to the point where he'd gone and started complaining unlike how flowery with his words he was earlier. The other patrons have already gone home or passed out outside, but Diluc was still at the counter, listening to Kaveh complain about this "Al Haitham" person. "HE DOESN'T GET IT DOES HE-" "AND THEN HE CARRIED BOTH KEYS AGAIN-" "HE'S JUST SO AGHHHHHHHH-" Diluc has enough and tries to at least ask Kaveh if he's staying anywhere. Of course, he got ignored. So he went with plan B. Which is to bring him along to his house. I mean, he can't get information, and he's too tired to have some people check in on where he's staying so he could just bring him there. He could finally rest, and the drunk blonde won't have to be in danger if he ever stumbled into the wild in his drunken frenzy. "What the fuck happened last night." That was all Kaveh could think of as he suddenly sat up which he instantly regretted when he feels his head throb in pain. He was in an unfamiliar and large room. His clothes were different and from the feel and looks of them, it's expensive as fuck-

"AM I DEAD OR SOMETHING-" "Not at all, sir." Reassures the voice, to which Kaveh jumps, meeting eyes with the maid, who smiles at him. "Good morning sir, here is some tea to soothe your headache and some breakfast to fill your stomach." A tray of authentic Mondstadt food was placed on his lap, making him drool at the sight.

"I'll be off to tell the young master that you're awake so, please enjoy your meal as I call for him." Ever since he stepped into Mondstadt, everything was so fun and relaxing, and no annoying roommate to argue with all the time. He was truly in paradise- But his second day in Mond already started in chaos. I mean- HE'S IN SOMEONE'S HOUSE RIGHT NOW- WHERE IS HE- What more shall come to Kaveh? And what's this warm feeling building up when he meets him more often? couldn't decide how it goes to the point where they fall for each other so perhaps you can share your ideas hehe will post headcanons later in the day or when I get home

#genshin diluc #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #genshin impact diluc #genshin diluc ragnvindr #kaveh #genshin kaveh #genshin impact kaveh #diluc x kaveh #fiction #genshin fic #fic writing #i finally posted this shit god- #genshin impact #gaming #games

[cthulhubert]

I uh. It's December. You may or may not have noticed.

I did Nanowrimo, spent my "creative projects half hour" slot on that, and completely forgot about posting my fourth year of daily drawings for October. Nevertheless, into my my art tag it goes.

In a fit of petty first world anarchism, I did Inktober's prompts, but digitally.

This year's been busy, so I tried to stick to my half an hour per day drawing time slot. (I say, gritting my teeth, forehead vein bulging as I look at the parts I don't like.)

I am forcing myself to acknowledge that the past year—with its approximately 130 hours of drawing practice—has resulted in some improvements to line control, anatomy, and perspective, but I'm definitely also reaching the point where several of these feel too embarrassing to post.

In fact I only picked nine, instead of the ten I did the last few years.

Please read some of the captions because at least I do think I'm funny.

Dreams was an auspicious start. I like this Bakugirl.

Fortune... exists. I should've been a little bolder with the fairy actually like, interacting with the dragon woman's palm, really being present there, instead of just sort of posed on top. I also should've made the table smaller, dragoness is supposed to be huge.

I immediately decided I was doing some kind of pair for Angel and Demon. Please ignore that the actual prompt was not Devil. It's close enough right? If I had more time and ambition the devil girl's net was going to be made of serpents. I did not really capture her "shouting" expression the way I wanted, but now that I'm looking it's not execrable. Angel's dreads are definitely more half hearted than I wanted. This one did at least convince me that my next batches of studies need to be of clothed figures.

Rise got my favorite concept for the whole month. Cause it's bread. Get it? eh? Please enjoy our little alchemist workshopping her lines for introducing her magnum opus. Tried to lean into cartoonish with her face.

I spent a solid 10 minutes trying to decide what to do for Dagger, and then all of a sudden it was like a voice spoke to me: "Do fan art of one of your favorite games of all time." I wish the Final Fantasy series hadn't abandoned that more stylized, cartoonish vibe. You know, one of the most interesting things about drawing is realizing that I am 100% looking at things that I have previously—apparently!—only kind of glanced at. Like I would not, before drawing this, have described Garnet as having, to be frank, a prodigious bosom, significant badonkerage, or ginormous dobonhonkeros. To be frank. And a really low cut top to boot. But here we are. I like this face. Wish I'd chosen a more dynamic pose.

For Shallow I decided to do a little snippet of something from one of my stories (coincidentally one related to what I was working on in November). The anatomy is a bit iffy. And even though she's literally supposed to have been buried in a shallow hole in the woods, I had to add a gravestone because I wasn't confident how well that showed.

Rush is another one where I was not at all sure what I was going to do until the brain noise intruded, "Firetrucks are red because red's the color of communism and they're always Russian[Rushin'] around." What was I thinking with that background?

Hilariously, I didn't notice the final prompt of Inktober and how well Fire went with my spontaneous choice for the previous day. It's only now that I'm posting that I realized during export I must have turned off the "background" layer that shows a(n attempt at a) continuation of the previous background. I recall being really frustrated trying to get the foreshortening right on this mischievous fire-ninja jill-o-lantern's arms, but it doesn't look so awful now.

It's fascinating feeling myself more fully move into the phase of learning where I can tell that I'm on the cusp of drawing this or that noticeably better, I just have to push, put a bit more time into individual pieces. And of course, practice.

Next I think I'll aim for at least four and up to twelve studies of clothed figures. Might stop to try and find some good hints on drawing a good fire, or something that suggests dirt.

But I also have some writing to do. I got engaged in my Nanowrimo project. I'm finishing something else up that a friend and I have worked on in bits for years. Of course, what I'd really like is to do some writing and drawing practice every day. It hasn't happened yet, but then again, between picking up drawing supplies and actually starting to practice daily, "It hasn't happened yet" was the case for years.

Until it wasn't.

#just watch I'll start writing and drawing every day... right before I finally pick up regular music practice #I have also reached the point where constructive criticism might actually be useful #so go ahead if you like; though I feel like I've got a rough grasp of my main weaknesses #I realize I'm probably not good enough to tell how well I've grasped them :P #my art