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strawberrypinky · 3 days

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I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed with negativity on the internet recently and thus I've decided to take matters into my own hands and spread some ✨love and positivity✨

And what better way to do that, than to recommend wonderfully written fanfiction I've come across this year? Admittedly, I haven't read as much as I would have liked, but I still want to share the few I did read. So without further ado, here are my fic recs of 2024 (thus far! Might add to this along the line):

Baldur's Gate 3 Fic recs:

O Fortuna [by @gufu-vire] on AO3 - Raphael x Dark Urge ❦ Plot: Post the events of BG3, a redeemed Dark Urge and Raphael renegotiate terms to fulfil a contract sworn upon during the crisis of the Absolute. An adventure fraught with tension, frustration, conflict, and more as the reader partners up with the devil you love to hate…

This is possibly a very biased mention on this list, because I consider Goof a very dear friend and moot, but it is a deserved spot nonetheless! I have yet to catch up with a majority of the chapters, but I'm enjoying a lot of sneak peeks and Gufu's creative process in private in the meantime. Between the conflict this story is utterly hilarious and witty and is a perfect balance between action and idle affairs. There are also so many intriguing takes on Raphael as a character & Harleep deserves a trophy on his own. I could talk a lot about this story, but truly, I cannot recommend it enough!

❦

Sleep Deprivation - [by @nyda-the-tav & Aisln] on AO3 - Gortash x Tav ❦ Plot: As Orin continues to harass the group of misfits trying to stop the Absolute, Ophelia (Tav) looks for safety in the arms of Gortash in an effort to combat sleep deprivation.

I've only recently started reading this story & both authors best believe that once I've caught up with all 50(!) chapters, I'll leave a more detailed review for Sleep Deprivation. But what I've read thus far has been nothing short of a joy, and I'm always down for a good Tav being absolutely ruined by Gortash himself. The dynamic between the supposed enemy and the hero is gripping, hilarious and not to mention really well written! Kudos to the authors! I'm really excited to read more of what you two come up with!

❦

His Star - His Queen [by @random-introverted-blog] on AO3 - Astarion x Tav/Astarion x Dark Urge ❦ Plot: An ascended Astarion kidnaps the Dark Urge/Tav from a different timeline, after loosing her in his. Desperate to save Tav/Durge from himself, Astarion follows her to rescue his love from certain suffering at his own hands.

I was recommended this story on TikTok (of all places, lol) and I wasn't sure what to expect - but holy shit. The first chapter alone had me on the edge of my seat, as you're really thrown into the action from the start, but the entire premise had me hooked as soon as Ascendant Astarion made his appearance. I often have issues with the ascended version of Astarion's character (I just looooove fixing him & I've got issues with the 'make him worse' story arc), but the exploration of what could have been in tandem with trying to save the heroine from inevitable suffering is beautiful & I can't recommend it enough. I've yet to catch up with every chapter (can you tell I've got trouble keeping up with fics, lmfao?) but either way, "His Star - His Queen" is deservedly on this list!

Note: This fic includes non-consensual sexual content

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Judgement by the Hounds [by @septembersummer] on AO3 - Gortash x The Dark Urge ❦ Plot: A look into the relationship of The Dark Urge (Seren) and Gortash, from their first meeting up to their shared end. "The rise and fall of the worst situationship of all time" indeed.

This one I actually finished (very slay), though I'm not sure I actually processed it. I went through all five stages of grief reading this and I'm not even sure I can say anything without spoiling the entire premise. Dear author, you have written possibly the most captivating and enchanting portrayal of Durge and Gortash & though I knew how it would end, I was wishing for a happy end through it all. There's nothing to say about this, other than it was utter perfection.

❦

Miscellaneous One Shot recommendations:

legacy with no memory by @discordsmuse on AO3 - Gortash x The Dark Urge The Weight of A Promise by @sserpente on tumblr [Part 2 is equally good!] - Gortash x Tav/OC kiddo. by @avocado-writing on tumblr. - Gortash & OC

to have and to hold by @littlejuicebox on tumblr. - Astarion x Tav

choices. by @deadtired-highkeyenergetic on tumblr - Astarion x Tav

how to win a custody battle in one easy step. by alltears on AO3 - Astarion x Tav

Dangerous by NaeveTheWizard on AO3 - Astarion x The Dark Urge

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Honourable Mentions:

I'm also giving a shout-out to @avani-telvanni & @infernaldaydreams, because while neither have written fanfiction I could recommend, I am obsessed with their respective artworks for Tav x Gortash/Durge x Gortash. You guys are absolutely amazing and I'm conistently in awe of what you create. You deserve all the recognition you receive and more 💕

Hogwarts Legacy Fic rec's: a very short list, but two are dear to me nonetheless!

Victory [by @jonquil] on AO3 - Victor Rookwood x Original Female Character ❦ Plot: Victor Rookwood is enraptured by the new, ancient-magic-wielding student attending Hogwarts - and Victor Rookwood always comes out on top.

Technically I started reading "Victory" in 2023, when it first came out, alas, it was finished earlier this year and I couldn't help but include it, because it remains one of my favourite fanfiction ever. To me, it's the best fictionalisation of "Enemies to Lovers" in a long time, as I was rooting for the villain to win from start to finish. From the wonderful characterisation of Rookwood to the alternative canon timeline and ultimately the victory of the villain - there's nothing like it and I was hooked from start to finish. I am still sad it's over, but I'm excited to read the prequel (as soon as I get to it, lmfao), because I know it'll be equally spectacular!

Note: This fic contains non-consensual sexual content.

❦

Invisible String [by @legacygirlingreen] on tumblr (though it can be found on both AO3 and wattpad too!) - Sebastian Sallow x Reader ❦ Plot: In an alternative, victorian-attitude-compliant timeline, Sebastian Sallow falls for the new fifth-year. This story explores the sweet beginnings of a tender love amidst hardships and battles ahead.

Admittedly, this is possibly the most biased fic rec ever, but I stand behind it nonetheless. While this fic started in March of last year & brought me and my platonic soulmate May, aka legacygirlingreen, together, it remains my favourite Sebastian Sallow fic to this day. The amount of love, time and creativity May put into this has me in awe time and time again. The sweet and tender love the two protagonists experience is perfectly fluffy and slice-of-life, yet the alternative version of the canon events of Hogwarts Legacy add the perfect amount of drama and action. I will always come back to this fic, because yes - It is that good.

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misspoetree · 2 years

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No thoughts.

Only this shot of Pete, lying on the bed, bathed in red and green light.

Stunned, surprised, but still on guard.

Not letting Vegas out of his sight, following his every move.

#it's a very good shot #and I can't believe I haven't posted about it yet #because this whole week I've been thinking about it #the lighting #the angle #the colouring #it's just so good #one of my favourite shots from this episode actually #and look at Pete's face #Build and Bible really acted their asses off in that episode #no new information here I know xD #kinnporsche #kinnporche the series #thai bl #kinnporsche ep11 #vegaspete #pete phongsakorn #build jakapan

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magicpiano · 8 months

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Magic Kaito AU where android!Kaito didn't die, so Kaito just sort of... took him home? He starts trying to teach him how to be human, but his own person, not just a copy. Give him a new name and encourages him to make new friends and get his own hobbies.

Kaito makes up a story about his twin brother that was separated at birth. At first everyone thinks this is a prank or something, but after meeting the identical looking person and some nice fake birth certificates people start to believe.

#dcmk #kaito kuroba #magic kaito #android kaito kuroba #robot kaito kuroba #magic kaito AU #dcmk AU #I am sure someone has thought of this already but I haven't read it yet lol #I can't believe that chapter actually exists it is so random??#i wish it was taken seriously #i feel bad for android Kaito honestly. He just wanted to be human but had no idea about anything #he just needed a guiding hand and some love #he just needed time and room to grow!!#my posts

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radiosummons · 1 year

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I wanna steal his gender.

#my art #cal kestis #jedi fallen order #jfo #i'm still fucking around with colors and such #not quite sure how i feel about my lineart #can't believe i haven't posted any art of him yet #tis a crime #that i'm working to rectify

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gachaparadise · 7 months

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god I'm so so so SO glad they didn't take the IPC deal in the new interlude chapter. Forgive me for the marvel quote here but "I'd rather die on my feet then live on my knees" and all that. Condemning everyone on Belebog to being the IPC's dogs until basically the end of time would've been the worst possible outcome.

They did just enough for me to be able to tolerate Topaz herself. I still don't love her or anything but maybe we're okay. I'm still the IPC's number one hater though. I saw what you fuckers did to Aurum Alley. Especially if they're going to be messing with Penacony next.

Also!!! didn't see Sampo :( why?? we're on Belebog does he not live there anymore? I miss my silly rabbit.

Double Also! the event is extremely fun and i have to like, restrain myself from sitting down and playing the whole thing in one day. no need for that when i've got an entire month to enjoy it.

edit: ARGH! I forgot to mention Marchies new outfit! super fucking cute! hoping we follow the GI model of skins and 4* skins are free events skins (not this event but, later down the line?), I don't use her enough to justify dropping $40, pretty as it is aha...

#spoilers #since the update came out literally today #I'm very protective of Penacony already even though we haven't been there yet bcs if the leaks are to be believed #it's like... angel themed. and thats my shit. thats everything to me i can't stand it i'm so excited about it #i'm literally considering skipping Argenti bcs i want to be able to roll for ALL the angels. I'm that weak to angelic themes #(I probably won't actually skip him. But it's not entirely off the table I love Angels)#I have to play the fg0 halloween events so... i should probably leave the poke/mon themed event for later orz #i wanna play it NOW but... one must be practical... sighs #game: honkai sr #post: chatter

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sysig · 1 year

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2022 Art Purge

Yearly round up time! Y’already know it’s all the doodles that I couldn’t figure where else to put throughout the year, let’s go! Talkin’ time!

I got a new green this past year so obviously it had to go to him lol, poor lad <3

Talas ✨ I still really like her little ribbon as a new accessory but it’s been almost a full year now! She’s playing with a lighter in the first one, I was trying to chase a “warmth of the village” kind of idea but couldn’t quite reach it. At least she was warm enough in the second one lol

Laughing Soda profile without references, I feel like I always forget to look and then everyone turns out off-model! At least she got a few more doodles later so she looks more like herself haha

More profiles! Still early learning how to draw Souichi, he <3 I enjoy drawing smoking so much wah, and his little hairtie string, he’s so pretty

Bunnies early in the year, it was prophesied! Lol, sometimes the bunny mood just strikes out of nowhere, they’re too cute to not

Random knife :) Not my knife so huh, wonder who I was thinking of lol

Eyes eyes eyes! Anime-style eyes and Coco-style eyes, no specific characters in mind just fun doodlin’

And a bonus Vivian eye, she always seems to get the bonus lol

Minkiiii <3 She’s the cutest

Random unsure Cherry Shortcake, unusual for her. Unless she got backed into a corner by a fully villain’d out Charm again lol, I think this might’ve been around the time I started writing a one-off Just Desserts fic?? Is it a fic if it’s my own story? Sure why not lol

It just makes me laugh honestly, poor Spam haha

Just wanted to see if I could remember how to draw a Tallest, it’s all still in there somewhere, right next to my botany lessons

Sleepy Duster and OJ from the Lost and Found art burst, Lucky’s got a lot on his mind for how little’s been left in it

The very original sketch for what become Sub-Commander! I doodled this on the inside of a bank envelope because I had no other paper at the time, and yes I did use one of those pens on a chain, it had been broken off before I got to it I swear officer no but it actually had lol

More eyes, Just Desserts-style this time ✨ These were actually the counterparts to the Vargas eyes from a bit back lol, only Aria gets a special eye type here haha

A Lily and Birdo platonic kiss haha, really stretching out of my comfort zone ouq Maybe also part of the motivation behind wanting a fancharacter Birdo, just that tiny little bit extra of plausible deniability (of what?? idk lol)

I wasn’t fully satisfied with the levels of anthro I ended up with in the original set so I had to come back and try again, I think I like this amount a good deal! Somehow my best doodles of the cat family ended up in my ambidextrous notebook lol

Soon off the heels of Earthbound I got briefly pulled back to Word Girl, Jeff and Tobey would probably have a gas chatting about robots! Two blond nerds in round glasses, they’re the prototypical stereotype lol

Sleeping Pink ♥ I wanted to better show his pose from when he was sleeping next to Yellow, I wanted them to be in mirrored poses but just wanted to draw him again haha

It’s digitally enhanced but it did end up looking cool, Rouxls with his actual tones ✨

Hall of Mirrrors hasn’t been getting the appropriate amount of attention lately! I needed to fix that

Trying for some slightly more dynamic/chaotic poses, the first one was Not Enough! Make her more like a raccoon, more like a Sableye, more like Spamton!

Speaking of Spamton - Uncanny Spamton lol

More witch Bunny, she’s just so cute <3 Love her and her polite sits lol

I was doodling the Solitaire kings and realized there was a familiar dynamic with another duo I’d drawn recently, hmmm

They stole back their respective counterparts in the end lol ♥

#Doodles #Long post #I actually forgot about this for a hot second despite staring these doodles in the face all year lol #I feel like I didn't have as much to say about this year's batch either but how much of that is from just - forgetting lol #I do still like all of 'em tho! That's remained consistent #I think it's a pretty even split of fanart and original this year - a surprisingly high density of SCII lol #Also haha @ last year's ''And only'' Spamton doodles - how'd that work out for you past me huh #No AGE this year! Bittersweet ah #Surprisingly there will be in the next Vargas sketchdump tho?? Lol #I haven't finished them yet but there will be doodles started in 2022 still comin' down the pike #I'll letcha know when the 2023 doodles start rollin' in lol #Technically I've already filled two and a half pages this year but it's all scratch stuff! I really got make that Graphologist tier summary #Hard to believe I spent a full year doodling regularly with my .5 again it feels like just yesterday wah #I still adore my .3s but they're used pretty much exclusively in my alt notebook lol #I wonder if you can tell actually - the last two were doodled there! Do they look particularly different?#I can't say I miss my lined paper because I'm still using it but ahh I miss my lined paper! Lol

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tvrningout-a · 1 year

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SO THIS IS LOVE PT. 1 | mutuals discover desired romantic dynamics!

below the cut will be the first part of a series where i talk about potential ship dynamics for my muses! this is intended to make shipping easier on my mutuals as well as give me a reason to ramble about my dorks :' ) if you have any questions or find a dynamic you're interested in, pls feel free to message me, or click the above link to like my shipping call!

HISAKAWA CHIYOKO

bc chiyo is so!! adamant about keeping her distance and so good at doing so without others noticing, she can be hard to befriend, much less date. but getting past those big ol' walls is extremely rewarding if your type of gf is one that shows her love in the form of memes and puns and bad drawings of you :' ) in most cases, i would say friendship is the main route one would take to win chiyo's heart; as someone afraid to be vulnerable, she needs to feel safe with someone to even contemplate pursuing a romantic relationship. friends-to-lovers is the main trope you'll wanna go for with her.

that being said, i do love the idea of someone seeing right through her likable facade bc no one ever does that, and it puts her on edge -- possibly to the point of making her become defensive. chiyo is incredibly private with certain parts of herself, so ofc she'll resent anyone's attempts at understanding her without her permission. she wants to be in control of who is close to her bc that lessens her chances of getting hurt. so i would love to see someone get under chiyo's skin, maybe bc they're only curious at first before it develops into something more. either way, get ready for a long haul with this gal!

SATO KAIYA

my sweet angel kaiya, my cinnamon apple, my gosh i could ship her with anyone and get the warm and fuzzies :' )) she's someone who has a lot of love to give, and she gives it freely; i think i can say she develops crushes rather easily and tends to admire those with strong values/convictions, but really!! it just comes down to the situation. i think kaiya is someone well-suited for cultivating self-love in others despite being horrible at showing herself that same care.

i can see kaiya working really well in a " grumpy gills falling for the ray of sunshine dynamic " bc she is so very soft and bright, but she'd also work well in any sort of pining situation. as a demon, she feels it isn't exactly fair for her to pursue romance bc 1. she'll outlive any human she might fall for, and 2. she doesn't feel she deserves that sort of happiness after what she's done.

YUBARI

oh, yubari :' ) the fun ( or sad asdf ) thing with yubari is that every so often, he gets himself killed while protecting his domain and people, so he is reborn time and again. he never has a recollection of his previous lives, so that makes him a great candidate for reincarnated lovers who keep finding each other, or any form of immortal lovers coming together. you could also easily throw him into a protector/bodyguard type ship bc if your muse asks for his help, he'll have a very hard time saying no.

otherwise, something to keep in mind about yubari is that he feels very deeply and is a people pleaser no matter how he tries to hide it. he likes to be useful, and he likes to take care of others -- it makes him feel good. if that's what your muse needs, let's go B) if your muse needs that but is stubborn and won't accept it at first, let's go B))))) and if your muse can return the favor and make yubari understand that someone should take care of him, too, i will actually weep

#okay so i only did three muses for now bc dude this was gonna be very long if i did more #so i focused on the three i'm feeling most in this moment!#like i can't believe i haven't spoken about chiyo yet what a crime #alsoooo keep in mind i'm always willing to create new verses for my muses and do crossovers and stuff #so if you have a muse you'd like to use for a ship but my muse isn't part of that fandom? let's try it out anyway!! we'll adapt!!#i grew up on disney | wishlist #okay i'm gonna go shower now and try not to be nervous over this silly lil post uvu

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blujayonthewing · 1 year

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[LAYS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR] MY MOM LEFT THE GRAVY AND BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP SHE MADE YESTERDAY JUST OUT ON THE STOVETOP OVERNIGHT AND ALL DAY TODAY AND THEN TRIED TO FEED IT TO US

#HELLO!! HELLO!!!!#APPARENTLY SHE HAS A REPUTATION WITH WORK FRIENDS FOR BEING GROSS BECAUSE SHE'LL EAT YOGURT SHE BROUGHT FOR LUNCH 2 DAYS LATER #AFTER KEEPING IT IN A CUPBOARD AT ROOM TEMP #FUCKING??? HELLO??????#I AM ABSOLVED!! OF EVER CARING WHETHER MY MOM THINKS MY RISK ASSESSMENT IS CRAZY!! EVER AGAIN!!! HOLY SHIT!!!#I have in the last two years been transformed from a 'will probably eat last night's pizza' goblin to... Not That #by a couple of well placed foodborne illness psa posts on here actually #but TWO DAY OLD? YOGURT?? TURKEY GRAVY????????? THERE IS NO-- YOU ARE NOT IN THE ACCEPTABLE GREY ZONE OF GROSS ANYMORE #I AM LEGITIMATELY CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR JUDGEMENT #DAIRY???!!!???????? WET!! MEAT SLIMES!!????????? MOTHER.#she SAYS people do it in england and she got desensitized and now she's like 'idk I haven't gotten sick yet haha' dude no! no!!#I am unwilling to believe They Do It In England Routinely without hard evidence that is a DAMNING accusation to level at an entire culture #even one infamous for being food criminals #maybe your husband and his family are just nasty #I can't believe! I actually cannot believe this!! I feel like I've gone insane!!!#like this is not 'I'm 100% correct but could be accused of being paranoid or uptight anyway' this is just... beyond the pale #about me #irl frens #(and family)

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erstwhilesparrow · 1 year

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unfortunately nothing else i could try to do is interesting to me at the moment. so now i am thinking about. cleo session 5. i mean i think an argument could be made that it's there from session 1 or 2 (what is it she tells martyn? she's a survivor?), but the red life bunker. the way she keeps talking about who might be coming after them, whether they should stay on the move. the fact that she even thinks to check the ranch for traps. she goes to talk to ren and bigb and goes out of her way to approach them from the side, with her sword in hand. i know i just said there's no real difference between cleo and scott deciding to stick together and tango and jimmy deciding the same, but. there is the fact that of every pair i watched, tango and jimmy were the only ones who didn't even try to communicate using the soulbound. (even bdubs + impulse, who also play their relationship as straightforwardly caring, don't totally have this -- bdubs jumps off ledges to take a tick of damage and goes "now he's thinking of me!") and there's something about. team rancher not really having to constantly think about soulbound damage as a concern. and tango spending his last moments alive looking around himself as if the danger is something he'll be able to see. and the idea that even if you can't stop someone from getting hit you can at least know where it's coming from if your partner's right in front of you. and something about if you stick with your soulbound that is... one less direction from which danger is unknown and unpredictable? and it's just annoying in session 1, but by session 5, with most of the server on red, that's just! another way things are scary! it doesn't matter if cleo builds up walls around her house or hunkers down in her panic room or stays away from big fights and steep cliffs, because there is always still a direct path from danger to her that she can't do anything about or even necessarily anticipate. and here she is, desperately trying anyway.

#sparrowsong #no i still can't bring myself to watch everyone's finales don't look at me #of course she spends a fair chunk of that session *with* martyn #but i think. it's about not having that established partnership.#maybe it DOES do something.#just not in the way everyone (jimmy) says / believes.#this... doesn't feel like a complete thought.#but i guess i can just come back tomorrow with another post.#(me looking at this post tomorrow: wow this is nothing. i better correct that by making a third post!)#are you hearing me. have i conveyed something meaningful to you.#oh god i haven't even talked about pearl yet #double life

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medicus-mortem · 2 years

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[💀] - I have this headcanon that Law’s powers are actually more emotionally driven than they seem. His Room is supposed to originate from his heart instead of his hand but summoning it naturally means the power isn't as easy to control. Since he's so analytical minded and has a strong desire for control Law has learned to channel it through his hand which gives him the perfect mastery of it he does have. If he summoned it in a hyper emotional state from his heart the power would go haywire and just warp space around him and disassemble anyone who comes close.

Basically what I am saying here is that I absolutely want to write a moment when Law loses all control over his devil fruit and shit gets both weird and horrifying.

#puppet master // ooc #dreams // wishlist #[I'll do a proper write up about this when I am at home.#But I can't believe I haven't done a post about it yet.]

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cimeriansparrow · 2 months

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I really didn't expect the hardest part of being newly suicidal to be the amount of self fucking Restraint it takes not to turn everything into a weapon against myself

#new to the physical urge to act on things #not to the not wanting to be here bit #I'll probably be fine in the morning #i just can't talk to John about it #because now he legally has to report when I'm feeling like this bc of his job #and i know he wants to believe me when i say i won't. but he's expressed multiple times that he's terrified that I'll change my mind in the #middle of the night after telling him that i won't do anything and he won't have known #i think this is the one thing he won't trust me 100% on #and i want to be upset about it but i don't trust me when i promise him i won't do anything #i haven't #I've never done anything #but I'm just worried that the never is going to turn into a yet #my post #suicide tw #tw #weapons tw #self harm tw #I'm so disgustingly and suddenly aware of how many things i can use to hurt myself i don't know where this shit is coming from #and i can't Tell anyone about it #and i can't move them elsewhere because then my family will know. and I'll have to be in contact with something like that and hold out from #hurting myself. and i really don't know if i can promise myself that that won't happen tonight #I'm gonna go redownload the Bible app and see if a devotional can pull me out of this because i genuinely don't think anything else will #I'm too afraid to even pick up the exact knife in my pen jar just to throw it across the room and away from me

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 8 months

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Can't believe I haven't seen any Tumblr posts about this yet I guess I must do everything myself around here

DLC for Pokémon Scarlet and Violet is now out, and you travel to a community centre where the toilets look like this:

You can tell the sex of a Pikachu by its tail shape. Lightning for male, heart for female. The red toilet sign is a male tail, the blue one is a female tail.

The grey Pikachu head shape? Ungendered. And to be completely unambiguous in-game:

Gender neutral Pokémon bathrooms

#pokemon #lgbtq issues

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homo-house · 6 months

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hey uh so I haven't seen anyone talking about this here yet, but

the amazon river, like the biggest river in the fucking world, in the middle of the amazon fucking rainforest, is currently going through its worst drought since the records began 121 years ago

picture from Folha PE

there's a lot going on but I haven't seen much international buzz around this like there was when the forest was on fire (maybe because it's harder to shift the narrative to blame brazil exclusively as if the rest of the world didn't have fault in this) so I wanted to bring this to tumblr's attention

I don't know too many details as I live in the other side of the country and we are suffering from the exact opposite (at least three cyclones this year, honestly have stopped counting - it's unusual for us to get hit by even one - floods, landslides, we have a death toll, people are losing everything to the water), but like, I as a brazilian have literally never seen pictures of the river like this before. every single city in the amazonas state is in a state of emergency as of november 1st.

pictures by Adriano Liziero (ig: geopanoramas)

we are used to seeing images of rio negro and solimões, the two main amazon river affluents, in all their grandiose and beauty and seeing these pictures is really fucking chilling. some of our news outlets are saying the solimões has turned to a sand desert... can you imagine this watery sight turning into a desert in the span of a year?

while down south we are seeing amounts of rain and hailstorms the likes of which our infrastructure is simply not built to deal with, up north people who have built everything around the river are at a loss of what to do.

the houses there that are built to float are just on the ground, people who depend on fishing for a living have to walk kilometers to find any fish that are still alive at all, the biodiversity there is at risk, and on an economic level it's hard to grasp how people from the northern states are getting by at all - the main means of transport for ANYTHING in that region is via the river water. this will impact the region for months to come. it doesnt make a lot of sense to build a lot of roads bc it's just better to use the waterway system, everything is built around or floats on the river after all. and like, the water level is so incomprehensibly low the boats are just STUCK. people are having a hard time getting from one place to another - keep in mind the widest parts of the river are over 10 km apart!!

this shit is really serious and i am trying not to think about it because we have a different kind of problem to worry about down south but it's really terrifying when I stop to think about it. you already know the climate crisis is real and the effects are beyond preventable now (we're past global warming, get used to calling it "global boiling"). we'll be switching strategies to damage control from now on and like, this is what it's come to.

I don't like to be alarmist but it's hard not to be alarmed. I'm sorry that I can't end this post with very clear intructions on how people overseas can help, there really isn't much to do except hope the water level rises soon, maybe pray if you believe in something. in that regard we just have to keep pressing for change at a global level; local conditions only would not, COULD NOT be causing this - the amazon river is a CONTINENTAL body of water, it spans across multiple countries. so my advice is spread the word, let your representatives know that you're worried and you want change towards sustainability, degrowth and reduced carbon emissions, support your local NGOs, maybe join a cause, I don't know? I recommend reading on ecological and feminist economics though

however, I know you can help the affected riverine families by donating to organizations dedicated to helping the region. keep in mind a single US dollar, pound or euro is worth over 5x more in our currency so anything you donate at all will certainly help those affected.

FAS - Sustainable Amazon Fundation

Idesam - Sustainable Developent and Preservation Institute of Amazonas

Greenpeace Brasil - I know Greenpeace isn't the best but they're one of the few options I can think of that have a bridge to the international world and they are helping directly

There are a lot of other smaller/local NGOs but I'm not sure how you could donate to them from overseas, I'll leave some of them here anyway:

Projeto Gari

Caritás Brasileira

If you know any other organizations please link them, I'll be sure to reblog though my reach isn't a lot

thank you so much for reading this to the end, don't feel obligated to share but please do if you can! even if you just read up to here it means a lot to me that someone out there knows

also as an afterthought, I wanted to expand on why I think this hasn't made big news yet: because unlike the case of the 2020 forest fires, other countries have to hold themselves accountable when looking at this situation. while in 2020 it was easier to pretend the fires were all our fault and people were talking about taking the amazon away from us like they wouldn't do much worse. global superpowers have no more forests to speak of so I guess they've been eyeing what latin america still has. so like this bit of the post is just to say if you're thinking of saying anything of the sort, maybe think of what your own country has done to contribute to this instead of blaming brazil exclusively and saying the amazon should be protected by force or whatever

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olivianyx · 4 months

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OMGG I JUST GOT RESULTS WITHOUT BEATING MYSELF UP WITH ROUTINES 😭 + RANT ✨

HEYY LUVS! I JUST WANNA SHARE MY RESULTS I MANIFESTED WITHIN 2-3 DAYS! THIS YEAR'S GONNA BE MY BEST YEAR Y'ALL ✋AND GUESS WHAT I DID? NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING. NUH-UH. PERIODT.

⚠ LONG POST AHEAD, SWEARING ⚠

WHAT I MANIFESTED:

🪄 PASSING MY FRESHMAN YEAR WITH HIGH SCORES

🪄 MY FAMILY BOUGHT A NEW APARTMENT WHICH WERE PREPARING TO MOVE IN 3 WEEKS

🪄 ME GETTING INTO THE VOID STATE 😭 AND MANIFESTED CLEAR SKIN! (DAYUM GETTING INTO THE VOID IS DEFO VERY EASY OMGG)

🪄 GETTING LESS ANXIOUS LATELY!

🪄 MY GASTRITIS AND ULCERITIS GETTING CURED

🪄 GETTING MORE COMPLIMENTS IN MY UNI!

🪄 GETTING TALLER! I WENT FROM 5'3" TO 5'7" IN 2 DAYS 😭😭

🪄 GETTING DREAMS OF ME SHIFTING TO MY WR 🥺 (ACTUALLY RESPAWNING LOL, AS THIS THING IS REALLY CONTROVERSIAL IN HERE, PLEASE DON'T GET ME CANCELLED- I'M DOING DEATHLESS RESPAWNING ✋)

🪄 MY MIND IS SURPRISINGLY CALM 😌 THERE'S STILL INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS THO (THOSE ARE ANNOYING ASS BITCHES) BUT I JUST IGNORE EM LIKE I IGNORE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL 🗿

🪄 GOT MANY CONFESSIONS TOO 😭 AND I REJECTED EM ALL, CUS I JUST WANT TO BE SINGLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE ✋🗿 JK

🪄 GETTING COOL CLOTHES THAT MY MOM DENIED A LOTTA TIMES! (ACTUALLY I'VE ORDERED EM BUT STILL HAVEN'T SHIPPED TO MY ADDRESS YET LOL)

🪄 MY CRUSH BECOMING CLOSE TO ME HEHE 🤭 LIKE SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME MUCH, BUT LATELY SHE'S BEEN TOO CLOSE TO ME AND ALWAYS WANNA BE WITH ME LOL, 3 DAYS BACK SHE AND I WALKED HOME TOGETHER, WHILE WE GRABBED SOME SNACKS, SPOKE ABT EACH OTHER AND ALL (I FELT LIKE BEING IN A SHOUJO MANGA 😩)

🪄 A NEW PHONE! THAT SAMSUNG GALAXY S22 😩

I MANIFESTED EVERYTHING WITHIN 3 DAYS 😭 I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES, JUST. 3. FUCKING. DAYS. GODDAMMIT.

HOW I DID IT:

JUST FULFILLED IT IN MY IMAGINATION

YEP, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. I LIVED IN THE 4D REALITY, I NEVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT THE 3D AT ALL. OK LEMME BREAK IT DOWN FOR Y'ALL SO JUST PAY ATTENTION FROM HERE ONWARDS.

🪄 SUPPOSE SOMETHING UNDESIRABLE OR UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE HAPPENING IN YOUR 3D. WHO'S THE CAUSE FOR THAT? YOU. 'BUT I DIDN'T IMAGINE OR THINK OF THESE 😭' BABY, YOU'RE THE SOLE CAUSE, EFFECT, AND THE SOLUTION. THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION TO THIS.

🪄 AS WE ALL KNOW, 3D IS A MIRROR. RIGHT? WHATEVER YOU THINK ABOUT, YOUR ASSUMPTIONS, YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR PERSPECTIVE EVERYTHING WILL BE REFLECTED. SO WHY NOT THINK THE WAY YOU WANT SO YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE SAME? GET IT.

🪄 IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE 3D, CHANGE YOUR 4D FIRST. CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE TO HOW YOUR DESIRED SELF WOULD SEE THE WORLD. KEEP DWELLING IN IT. IF THE 3D SHOWS UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES, DON'T FUCKING GET TRIGGERED. GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION AND DENY YOUR SENSES.

🪄 EVERYTIME YOU SEE SOMETHING ELSE IN THE 3D, GO 'BRUHH THIS IS MY OLD STORY, I ALREADY HAVE WHAT I WANT, THIS IS JUST FAKE' AND MOVE ON. DISTRACT YOURSELF. CUS THE 3D WORLD WHICH YOU SEE IS AN ILLUSION, IT'S NOT REAL. IT'S YOUR CREATION, WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO CONTROL WHAT YOU CREATED? IT'S ALREADY IN CONTROL. YOU ONLY GOTTA REALISE YOUR GODSELF. YOU ARE THE CREATOR, NOT THE CREATION. STOP FUCKING VICTIMIZING YOURSELF.

🪄 I GET IT THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE CONFUSED BETWEEN LAW OF ASSUMPTION AND NON DUALISM. EVEN I WAS, BUT SLOWLY I REALISED THAT WE'RE ALL NOTHING. WE'RE JUST LIVING IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. VICTIMIZING OURSELVES IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. IRONIC RIGHT?

🪄 THOSE THOUGHTS, ANXIETY, FEELINGS, EMOTIONS ARE ALL IN YOUR PHYSICAL REALM. YOUR MIND, YOUR BODY, YOUR EGO EVERYTHING IS NO REAL, WE ASSUME IT TO BE. WE'RE ARE SHAPELESS, FORMLESS, WE'RE NOTHING! AND EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME. CUS EVERYTHING COMES DOWN TO ONE THING, I AM.

🪄 K Y'ALL MIGHT BE SUPER CONFUSED, WHAT I'M TRYNA INFUSE IN YOUR BRAINS. SO WHAT YOU DO IS, LIVE IN YOUR 4D.HOW? IMAGINATION. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE IN YOUR 3D, GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION, AFFIRM OR VISUALISE. ANYTHING IS FINE BTW. JUST STAY IN THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLED.

🪄 STOP RELYING ON METHODS, FUCK THEM. JUST BE. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE SOMETHING WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM. JUST STOP, SURRENDER, STOP FIGHTING, STOP TRYING SO HARD WHEN YOUR ALREADY IT. SO GO LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION, FULLY SURRENDER. DO THINGS WHICH YOU LIKE. GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. TAKE YOUR POWER BACK.

LIKE AREN'T YOU TIRED? TRAPPED IN YOUR OWN CREATIONS? YOU CREATED THEM, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE WHATEVER. TELL ME HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA LIVE THIS BULLSHIT LIFE? YOU'RE REALLY GETTING COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. SO LISTEN UP, DO WHAT YOU LOVE, AFFIRM, VISUALISE, OR DAYDREAM, ZONE OUT, WHATEVER. ALL I DID WAS DO THIS MEDITATION IN THE MORNING, WENT ABOUT MY DAY WATCHING JUJUTSU KAISEN LMAO. THEN RANDOMLY AFFIRM, LIVED IN MY 4D, NEVER PAYED ANY FUCKING ATTENTION TO MY 3D, CUS I'M GOD. I REALLY LOVE VISUALISING, SO I PUT ON A SONG AND START DAYDREAMING IN MY ROOM SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT. ALSO, I DID SATS BEFORE GOING TO BED. THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL I DID FOR 3 FUCKING DAYS, AND GOT WHAT EVER I WANT. ALSO I MADE A CUSTOM TAPE TOO (IT'S A GENERAL SELF CONCEPT ONE) I LISTENED TO IT FOR 30 MINS AND JUST WENT ABOUT MY DAY THINKING I HAD WHATEVER I FUCKING DESIRE, CUS IT'S ALL MY CREATIONS AND I HAVE IT ALREADY. THERE'S NOTHING TO GET, IT'S ALREADY IN ME.

LUV YOU, BYE 💋

#non dualism #law of assumption #neville goddard #reality shifting #affirmdaily #dream life #frequency #loa success #manifestations #manifestyourreality #scripting #3roe #self concept #higher self #consciousness #Spotify

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ellemj · 6 months

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Needs & Wants - Sex Pollen Trope Pt. 2

Bucky Barnes x Reader

**If you haven't read Pt. 1 yet, READ IT FIRST.**

Summary: You fight the effects of the chemical compound for as long as you can, until Bucky makes you an offer that your body can't seem to refuse. But, you each have a rule that the other has to follow.

Warnings: this one is a huge fucking tease, I'm so sorry (I won't be sorry when I release part 3 tonight), masturbation, talk of unprotected sex, profanity, use of y/n, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Feel free to comment and let me know if this requires more warnings.

Word Count: 4k (I just couldn't stop the build up)

Author's Note: I cannot believe the overwhelming response on part one of this, I was just in a silly goofy mood and decided to finally use my Tumblr for something other than reading y'alls AMAZING fics every night before bed. I didn't expect anyone to really even see it. My heart is racing as I get ready to post this rn lmao. PLEASEEE tell me what your fav part of this one is, I have to know. Part 3 will be out tonight, I can't make you guys wait too much.

Bucky’s resolve has been steadily crumbling for the past hour, and truthfully, he’s barely placing any blame on the chemical compound that’s interacting with the serum coursing through his veins. He’s placing the blame on you and the needy, whimpering noises that you’ve been making for the last forty-five minutes. After the video conference with Bruce and Tony ended, you were quick to lock yourself in one of the bedrooms of the safe house. You didn’t even say another word to Bucky, you just stood up from the couch with one hand clutched over your stomach, and hurried off down the hall. He wanted to say something to you, but what the hell was he supposed to say? I’m sorry that we’re in this situation? That wouldn’t help a damn thing. You’re in it and there’s nothing either one of you can do except pray that you’ll have enough self-control to make it through the night with your doors still locked.

Bucky sat on the couch for a few minutes after you left, replaying Tony’s last warning to you in his head. You won’t feel relief until your body thinks it has a chance of reproducing, until semen is introduced into your system. It made him feel like shit. He can find relief on his own, he can take care of himself tonight, but you? You’ll suffer for a minimum of eight hours, possibly nearing death, alone behind a locked door. It’s not that he thinks you can’t handle yourself. He’s perfectly aware of how capable you are at handling practically anything. He’s been your partner in the field for two months now and he’s never once had a doubt about your skills, your ability to tolerate pain, or even the split-second decisions you have to make sometimes during missions. You might give each other shit the majority of the time that you’re working together, but when it comes down to it, you trust each other with no reservations. So, why then, does he find himself so fucking worried about you?

He’s been locked in the bedroom across the hall from yours for the past hour now. He thought maybe things wouldn’t be so bad when he heard you tucking yourself away into bed, when he heard you go still and silent for a few minutes. It was smart of you, trying to sleep as much as you could before the chemical fully set in and began to wreak havoc within your body. But after only fifteen minutes, he heard the faintest sound carrying across the hall. He wasn’t sure what it was at first, thinking maybe you’d gotten up to use the bathroom and it was the creak of a floorboard or maybe a door hinge. It was wishful thinking. The second time he heard it, he was sure. You were whimpering in your sleep. For a few moments, he was able to deceive himself into thinking it was whimpers of pain, maybe from your stomach aching in your sleep. When you grew louder, the sounds of your soft, breathy moans mixing with the sound of the sheets rustling as you tossed and turned restlessly, that’s when his resolve began to break apart piece by piece. He sits on the side of his bed in total darkness. His shirt and tactical pants are strewn across the floor where he previously discarded them when the heat emanating from his body became too much to bear. His hands grip the edge of the mattress with enough force to break through the layers of fabric there, but he fears that if he lets go, the next thing his hands will grip will be either his cock or the two door knobs separating you both. Focusing on your suffering is keeping him from feeling his own pain, but the noises you’re making are making it significantly harder for him to ignore the needs that are bubbling to the surface within him. Shit. How the fuck did he end up in this situation with you?

You awake suddenly, drenched in sweat, your sweats especially making you feel like damp towels are wrapped around your legs. You waste no time throwing the covers back and ripping your sweats off, tossing them onto the floor and moving your hair to lay it across your pillow so it’s not sticking to your neck. Fuck HYDRA. Fuck Zemo for killing Dr. Nagel. Obviously, you wouldn’t have wanted him running around recreating the super soldier serum either, but if he was still alive maybe you wouldn’t be lying here in this state. You take a deep breath in, counting to three in your head as you breathe it back out. Focusing in on your symptoms, you try to make a mental list. You think that maybe if you can remind yourself of the science behind the symptoms, you won’t become an irrationally horny mess, you can just reason your way out of the most intense arousal you’ve ever felt in your life. Sweating, tachycardia, abdominal cramping, bone pain…you stupidly let your right hand slide down between your legs. Your fingertips briefly grace the exterior fabric of your black boyshort panties, feeling how wet they are adds another symptom to the mental list, not that you needed to feel it to know. Arousal.

You lean over to the bedside table and feel around blindly for your phone. The screen illuminates and you see that it’s only 10 pm. You’ve only been sleeping for an hour. The chemical compound isn’t even at its peak activity level yet and you’re already beginning to feel a type of desperation that you haven’t felt before. You need relief. Tony’s words swirl around in your mind, making you feel lightheaded and making you want to hunt him down and make him take the words back by force, like that would change the reality of the situation you’re currently in. You won’t feel relief until your body thinks it has a chance of reproducing, until semen is introduced into your system.

You could try finding relief on your own. Tony isn’t lord over all things scientific. When has he ever dealt with a compound like this before? Never. He doesn’t know shit. You’re trying so hard to convince yourself that he could be wrong. Sitting up in bed, you reach over and flip on the lamp that sits on the bedside table, casting a pale glow across the room. You will yourself to think clearly, to make a plan and implement it. You can fight this. You need something that’ll take down your body temperature, slow your heart rate, and ease some of the pain you’re feeling everywhere. A cold shower.

Bucky listens intently as you open your door and your feet patter softly down the hall. He listens as you shut and lock the bathroom door behind you and then as you turn on the shower. He mentally curses his heightened sense of hearing when he hears the tussle of your clothes hitting the floor. He’s been ignoring his hardening cock as it grows beneath the black fabric of his boxers. He’s been ignoring it because he feared if he tried to relieve himself, you’d likely hear him across the hall and he’d never let himself live it down. He can’t be the first one to break. But maybe, with you being in the shower, you wouldn’t be able to hear anything coming from his room. Why the hell are you even in the shower? He imagines the pain you’re in would make it hard for you to stand in there for very long, and it’s not like a shower is going to give you much relief at all. He can’t wonder for more than a quick moment, before the chemical begins to really cloud his mind, his clear thoughts becoming hazy behind thoughts of chasing relief. Fuck it. You won’t hear a damn thing.

Bucky sighs deeply as his lays back on the bed, still in darkness, pushing his boxers down a few inches and freeing his hard length. His flesh hand quickly wraps around it, giving it a slow stroke from base to tip, pre-cum quickly coating his fingers.

“Oh, fuck.” He groans lowly. It’s never felt like this before. It’s as if every nerve in his body has shifted, has traveled down to embed in his cock. His head falls back into his pillow, his eyes squeezing shut at the sensation of his shaft finally being handled. He works his fist up and down, picking up speed and reveling in the feeling of temporary relief. As he strokes his cock, he feels the pain throughout his body slowly dissipating, easing up but not fully disappearing. Before he can stop himself, he’s picturing exactly what you’d look like right now. Your perfectly toned body standing under a stream of water, your hands running down your smooth skin, your eyes closed as you let the shower wash away your discomfort. He feels guilty. Truly, he does. But it's as if he has no control over his thoughts when his hand is on his cock and his veins are corrupted with a potent chemical from hell. Especially not when you’re naked a mere ten feet down the hall. As Bucky nears his climax, his balls tightening and his cock twitching in his hand, a loud crash resounds throughout the house and he’s brought back to reality. He’s on his feet, his boner tucked reluctantly away in his boxers, and his bedroom door flying open in less than two seconds, fearing the worst. He thinks you must’ve passed out from the effects of the chemical, fallen in the shower, maybe split your head open. When he reaches for the bathroom door knob and finds it locked, he’s giving no second thought to breaking the door down. Hell, he decided he was going to break it down before he ever left his room. He takes one step back, ready to use his leg to kick through it, when he hears the shower water cut off and the curtain pull back.

“Y/n?” His voice is laced with concern and it takes you by surprise. You’d only been standing in the ice-cold shower for two minutes when you realized it wasn’t going to do shit for you. You aren’t usually one to lose your temper, but feeling so hopeless and helpless, your only plan failing to provide you with any relief, you ended up slamming your fist into the tiled shower wall out of pure frustration. You didn’t do it hard enough to really hurt yourself, but apparently hard enough to alarm Bucky.

“You’re supposed to be locked in your room.” You call out, your voice coming out a little timid and quieter than you intended. Wrapping a towel around yourself, you step out of the shower and examine yourself in front of the bathroom mirror. Your cheeks are still flushed, your pupils are dilated so much that you’re surprised the lights aren’t hurting your eyes yet, and your rapid pulse is nearly visible in your neck. You let your hair down from the bun you threw it up into for the shower and then pull on the same shirt and damp panties you had on moments earlier.

“I thought you fell.” Bucky says quietly, barely above a whisper. You can tell he’s standing close to the door. You’ve never heard him speak so softly. You freeze, your hands clutching the edge of the bathroom sink as your body responds to his voice, against your rational mind’s will. You feel a familiar heat gathering between your legs and you squeeze your thighs together. He needs to go back to his room. Now.

“Bucky, go back to bed.” Your voice is firm, without a single hint of hesitation. Bucky knows that he should heed the warning. He knows he should turn around right now and go back and lock his door. Instead, he stands there in the hallway with his cock straining against the fabric of his boxers and a conflicted expression on his face. You said earlier that your only option was to lock yourselves in your respective rooms and ride it out until morning. Was that really the only option though? He could easily think of a few more options, though admittedly, he might not be thinking with his brain anymore.

“You have to go back to your room before I come out.” You’re starting to sound like you’re pleading with him. As much as you want to act strong and like you have all of the self-control in the world right now, you’re worried that if you step out into the hall and see him, you won’t be able to stop yourself from reaching out for him. You want to feel his skin beneath your hands as you run your palms from his shoulders, down his chest, straight to the waistband of whatever the hell he’s wearing right now. You want to have him completely bare in front of you, with nothing stopping you from dragging him straight to your bed to find the relief that you both so desperately crave right now. A sharp pang in your lower stomach causes you to let out a soft groan, and the sudden inhale you hear from Bucky through the door doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Not until I see that you’re okay.” Bucky says, still worried that you fell in the shower or hurt yourself somehow. Not wanting to waste any more time letting the chemical stew in your reproductive system, you flip the bathroom light off so you’re thrown into darkness, before unlocking the bathroom door and pulling it open slowly. You can just barely make out his form in the dark hallway, the curve of his broad shoulders, the glint of the black and gold vibranium making up his left arm, and fuck…the ripples down his abdomen. You’ve always thought he was frustratingly attractive, but now? Just looking at him has you insatiable. You realize quickly that he’s not wearing anything except a pair of black boxers and his dog tags. He’s really not making this easy on you. Your eyes flutter closed and you sigh, telling yourself to suck it up and walk past him. Just walk past him. But now you what he looks like with nearly no clothes on, and he’s so close to you. So. Damn. Close. A foot away from you, to be exact.

“I’m fine, just go back to bed.” You whisper. You don’t trust yourself to speak any louder, worried that raising your voice might awake something much more primal within yourself.

“Look at me.” He says, matching your whisper volume. Shit. Shit, shit. Shit. No.

“Don’t—” You’re cut off by the feel of his cool vibranium fingers wrapping around your right hand, lifting it so he can see it better. You suck in a harsh breath at the contact. It shouldn’t turn you on as much as it does, it’s not even what you need. You need skin. You need him against you. But something about the cool metal contrasting against the warmth of your heated hand feels electrifying.

“Did you punch the wall?” He questions, examining your reddened knuckles with narrowed eyes. Your eyes remain closed as you nod your head, and he takes the moment to scan his eyes down your body. Your t-shirt skims along the tops of your thighs and he knows if you turned around, it wouldn’t even fully cover the curve of your ass. Fuck, he wants you to turn around. He drops your hand as quickly as he first grabbed it, letting it fall back to your side as he begins running his flesh hand through his disheveled hair.

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?” Bucky has to know. He knows how high your pain tolerance is, he knows how good you are at putting on a brave face in the worst situations. He has to know how much you’re really suffering right now before he makes an offer that he can’t take back.

“Four.” You fib, pressing your lips together and daring to open your eyes and look back at him. Your eyes have adjusted to the dark a little more and you can see the sweat glistening across his chest, his quick breaths drawing your attention straight to his pecs.

“Don’t lie to me.” His gaze hardens. He hates that you’d try to lie to him. Do you really not trust him enough to just be open with him? Jesus, he’s standing in front of you in his fucking boxers with a hard-on that you haven’t even noticed yet and somehow you feel the need to keep things from him, like he isn’t just as vulnerable as you are right now.

“Seven.” You admit truthfully. The pain in your stomach has intensified, and all you want to do is curl into a ball right there on the floor. You feel like you’ve been doused in gasoline and lit on fire, you feel like someone attempted to extinguish that fire with a gallon of hot sauce, and then ran you over with a semi-truck. You reach out for the door frame with your right hand, using it for balance as your legs begin to feel weaker.

“Y/n-” Bucky starts, ready to make you an offer, but you don’t let him continue. He knows it’s crossing a line. He’s fully aware that if he offers and you say no, things could just get weird between the two of you. He’s even more aware that if he offers and you say yes, it could effectively end your working relationship. But he can’t stand to see you like this. You might give each other shit more often than you’re civil with each other, but something about you being in pain has always sat wrong with him. He worries more about you in the field than he worries about himself.

“Don’t say my name, just…” You cut him off, but your voice trails off as your eyes wander down to the front of his boxers, finally noticing the way he’s straining against the fabric, his tip resting just barely under the waistband. “If you keep standing here, if you keep saying things to me, I’m not going to be able to go back to my room. I need you to walk away before I lose the power to let you.” Your warning should be clear as day now. He needs to leave you alone.

“No.” His refusal hits a nerve, angering you more than you would’ve thought possible. You feel a rush of adrenaline surge through you as you lose control of your actions. You place your hands against his chest, shoving him back, hard. He barely moves, which just further enrages you. “Y/n, we can fix this. I can fix this for you.” His offer is out in the open now. He holds his breath as you freeze in front of him, your hands falling away from his chest and your eyes squeezing shut in contemplation.

“Do you even realize what you’re offering?” Your question hangs in the air between the two of you, and the tension in the hallway makes it feel as though lightning is about to strike the tiny cobblestone house that you stand in. You wish lightning would strike. When you open your eyes this time, the look in Bucky’s eye has changed. There’s something in place of his usual hard gaze, something that nearly draws you in.

“Yes.” He’s offering to fuck you. He’s offering to give you the relief that you so badly need, the relief that can only be found when he finishes inside you. You’re hallucinating. That’s what this is. Because there is no fucking way that he’s standing in front of you right now, the six-foot tall super soldier who you can barely get along with outside of mandatory missions, offering to fuck you raw. “I know what I’m offering.” You only take a moment to weigh your options. Go back to your room, lock the door, and suffer for the next 7-10 hours or have sex with him and hope that it doesn’t ruin your entire life. Why would it ruin your life? Because he’s the only partner that you’ve trusted enough to work with since Nat passed, and there’s no way that things can just be fine and normal after you’ve seen each other naked. Things would get awkward, it’d be hard to look at each other, hard to see each other as professionals anymore. And your work, your job, is your life. Outside of this you have nothing. No family, not a single friend that isn't connected to this damn line of work, not a damn thing to turn to when this inevitably goes to shit.

“Stop overthinking it.” Bucky’s voice breaks you out of your whirlwind of thoughts. Against your better judgement, you make eye contact with him and the way he’s looking at you gives you butterflies. Butterflies? Who the fuck are you right now? “Close your eyes.” His voice is low, making the butterflies in your stomach explode and spread outward until it feels like your skin is tingling. You don’t know why you do as he says, but your eyes close and you stand there with bated breath as the floorboards creak. He’s stepping closer to you, stopping when you feel his breath fanning across your face. He trails his flesh fingertips from the back of your left hand and up your arm slowly, drawing goosebumps to the surface of your overheated skin but leaving some kind of calmness behind. You relish the way your left arm becomes the only part of your body that isn’t in pain, the only part that he’s touching.

“Okay…” Your voice is raspy as you cave to his touch. “But I have a rule.” He pulls his hand away and you wince as the pain quickly returns to the bones deep within your arm. He raises an eyebrow at you as he waits for you to continue. “You can’t kiss my lips.”

Bucky hesitates for a second, caught off guard by your insane rule. No kissing? During sex? Do you hate him that much? Fuck, he shouldn’t have offered to do this in the first place. It’s obvious that you really don’t want this, and he won’t be able to get off knowing that.

“Who’s overthinking now?” You laugh out, brushing past him and heading straight for your bedroom door. You took his hesitation as a rejection of your rule, and if he rejects your rule then you’re not doing this. If he kisses you, you’re scared you’re going to feel something. You can have sex and find absolutely zero meaning in it, that’s not that hard. It’s just a physical act. But kissing? Kissing makes it too intimate, too much of a real connection. You won’t give that away so easily. Just as you’re nearing the door, you feel Bucky’s hand wrap tightly around your wrist and pull you back, spinning you around so you’re facing him. In less than a second, he’s walking you backwards until your ass hits the wall and your hand is pinned above your head, with his body pressed firmly against yours. His nose brushes over the tip of yours and you shudder at the feeling of his skin, his body giving off so much heat that you’re regretting having put your shirt back on earlier.

“Fine, I won’t kiss you.” He rasps. His vibranium hand is gripping your hip, holding you solidly against the wall as he moves to run his lips along your jawline. He doesn’t kiss your skin, he simply lets his lips ghost over it, making you tilt your head to the side in anticipation. “I have one rule of my own.”

“What’s that?” Your voice sounds a lot more confident than you expected it to, like you’re not fighting to hold yourself together inside. He nips at your earlobe softly and you feel the tip of his tongue against it so lightly that you’re not sure if you imagined it or not.

“You’re going to wear these while I fuck you.” He guides your right hand up over the perfect ridges of his abs, across his chest, and straight to the dog tags that hang around his neck.

Next Part

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earthtooz · 1 year

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x : ABUNDANCE :*+ﾟ

in which: rin doesn’t know when to stop spoiling you and you don't know how to stop him either.

warnings: rich pro-athlete!rin, gn!reader- reader wears lip gloss and perfume but i am an avid believer that they are gn, rin is dramatic (tm), fluff, swearing. 1.6k wc

a/n: rin is a clown in my eyes LMFAO no but this was kinda self-indulgent and i just can't stray too far from itoshi rin before he inevitably pulls me back. haven't written anything for him in a while so it feels good to be back to my roots. also no i'm not off break lol i did say that i was still gonna write and come back to post hehe. ENJOY!! rbs appreciated !!

itoshi rin doesn’t know when to stop spoiling you.

and you didn’t know how to get him to stop spoiling you. you could never resist his presents no matter what shape or size, whether they were little nendoroids of your favourite anime characters to the latest designer bags, you would always accept them with a grateful smile.

however, there’s always a tug of guilt at your chest that makes you little hesitant, not wanting rin to waste unnecessary money on you. yet whenever you make this feeling known to rin, he scoffs and waves your concerns off, ending the conversation there as he urges you to open his presents, more concerned about your reaction than how much money is being extracted from his account.

what’s the point of money if he can’t spoil you with it? that’s always been his philosophy. besides, it’s not like you’re forcing him to, so what’s the big deal?

if there was a certain brand of perfume you wanted, he was going to buy it. if you needed a bigger monitor then he’ll buy it. if you needed a streaming platform to watch a certain show on then he’d buy it too, not a problem. in fact, you’re sure rin is funding the spotify premium for your account because he got tired of all the ads he had to listen to when sharing headphones with you.

despite rin’s insistence that he was more than okay to spend money on you, it didn’t stop the growing feeling of guilt festering in your gut. so eventually you stopped bringing up things you wanted to buy in front of rin, leaving to write them down in your notes app instead.

the pro-athlete doesn’t question the abrupt lack of complaints about things you needed to buy, leaving him blissfully unaware of the things you had been buying for yourself and him.

this dance continues for a little and it’s not until date night three weeks later that he figures you out. you never stood a chance against rin’s perceptiveness especially when one of his favourite things to do was watch you get ready for said date nights, leaving it only a matter of time before he’d realise,

“looking gorgeous as always,” he compliments whilst walking up to stand behind you, dressed handsomely in a crisp suit with his hair swept sideways- a hairstyle he began to wore more often when he realised how often you stared at him during a boring sponsorship event which turned out a lot more eventful thanks to the simple hair change.

you smile at him in the mirror as rin places a kiss on the side of your head, hand going to your hip before situating himself on the bed, glancing down at his watch to check that you were still on time for the dinner reservation.

when he looks back up at you, his eyes zero in on the foreign lipgloss you were holding in your hands and the small smile rin wore falls into a scowl. rin knows he didn’t get that for you, and judging from the sleekness of the packaging, it looks new. he withholds his suspicions, brushing them off.

alarms blare in rin’s head again when he notices the foreign highlighter in your hands. contrarily, you remain ignorant to rin’s inquisitive stare as you lean in close to the mirror to apply the product, too used to the usual intensity of his gaze to bat an eye.

the last straw is the perfume you use, spritzing it on your wrists, behind your ears and neck, doing a little fanning motion with your hands once you were done.

“okay, i’m ready, let’s go before we’re lat-” you say, turning around to look at rin, cutting yourself off when you notice the look of distraught on his face. “what’s the matter?”

walking over to where he sat, you leisurely lay your forearms on his shoulders, pressing a kiss to his cheek whilst doing so. the smell of your foreign perfume enters his nose and although it was a very nice and charming scent, the athlete’s nose scrunches in displeasure, eyebrows furrowing further.

“do i have something on my face?” you ask, backing away. rin grabs your hands before you can stray too far.

“no, not that,” he puts your hands on his shoulders again. “did you always have this lipgloss? and i don’t recognise this perfume.”

“oh, i bought it not too long ago.”

he looks at you as though you’ve committed the most blasphemous offence against him, which, you did. “excuse me?”

“i bought it?” you reaffirm, a lilt of confusion in your tone.

rin narrows his eyes, combating your confusion with scrutiny. “you bought it.” you nod. “with your own money?”

“duh.”

he exhales loudly through his nose and you can feel the judgement oozing off him. “no that’s not right. i have to fix this.”

abruptly swapping your positions so that you were now sitting on the bed, rin disappears into the bathroom, emerging with a pack of makeup removers before sifting through your numerous products, that look of concentration never leaving his face.

“we’re gonna be late, rin,” you say from where he planted you, watching helplessly as your boyfriend approaches to stand in front of you, crouching down to be eye level with you. rin takes out a wipe from the packet before gently rubbing it on your lips, touch contrastingly gentle to his fiery gaze.

“don’t care. this is more important.”

rin fiddles with the highlighter that he bought for you, opening it cautiously and using the same brush you always use as he carefully paints your skin with the glitter. it amazes you just how observant rin is as he traces all the spots correctly, knowing you down to of the most insignificant, tiny details.

he does the same with the lip gloss, opening the familiar bottle before putting a luxurious amount of the product over your lips. you don’t complain about it, not when rin’s nose scrunches in concentration and not when he makes a disgruntled noise because he overlined the lip gloss, wiping it from the corner of your mouth.

nevertheless, when rin pulls away, he admires his handiwork with a content grin, the scowl now fading. “much better,” he mumbles, grinning slightly. before you could say anything though, the athlete stumbles away to put your makeup away, returning with a bottle of perfume that he also bought for you.

“do not spray that on me. the scents will clash,” you threaten. rin blinks at you before grabbing your wrist, spritzing a small amount before repeating the same step on your other pulse points.

his actions were sweet and you understood that rin had good intentions, but through the endearment you felt for your lover, there is an undeniable feeling of dejection settling within you. “i liked the products that i bought,” you murmur, tone slightly downcast as you express your thoughts. “i like using my own money sometimes too, rin.”

the smile rin wore falls ever so slightly as he looks at your somewhat-dejected form, crouching in front of you instinctively as to get a better glance at your face.

“i feel horrible whenever you use your money on me. especially on things that are way too expensive and way out of my budget. i don’t want people- i don’t want you to get the wrong idea of us,” you confess the last part breathily, rubbing your arms awkwardly. “and i hate feeling like i owe something to you.”

“hey, you know that will never happen, we’re not like that,” he rubs a hand on your knee reassuringly. “i buy things for you because i know, and don’t talk about this lukewarm shit about ‘owing’ me. if anything i owe you for putting up with me.”

you let his words sink in with a sigh, focusing on the warmth of rin’s palm.

“and i also buy things for you because you only deserve the best. none of that mediocre crap that anybody can buy.”

“but what if i like the ‘lukewarm shit’?”

“then you need better tastes, but i guess i have no choice but to buy it for you.” he stands up ever so slightly to kiss you.

you back away, cutting him off with a press of your finger against his lips. “rin. no.”

he gives you a withering glare for denying his affection.

“that’s not the point. as much as i love and appreciate it when you do buy things for me, i would also appreciate it if you let me use my own money too.”

the soccer player backs away, eyes scanning your expression to decide on what to say next. he sighs when he sees the determination in your face and like a dam giving out, it’s the first sign of rin’s stubbornness surrendering to your pleas. “fine, i’ll respect your choice, but it doesn’t mean that i like it.”

you grin, pulling him back in for the kiss he wanted earlier, catching rin off guard briefly before his shock subsides, letting him melt right into you. your lipgloss was now effectively ruined but you didn’t have it in you to care much. rin could always reapply it for you.

“but i’m paying for dinner,” he asserts against your mouth.

“deal.”

you return home tomorrow to see the same products you bought for yourself on your shared bed. except brand new and still in their sleek packages.

what were you going to do with rin?

#personally i'm abt to make out with him- what... who said that... anyways... hope u enjoyed !!#sorry if this fic isn't coherent #itoshi rin x reader #rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #itoshi rin fluff #blue lock fluff #itoshi rin x you #rin x you #rin itoshi x you #blue lock rin #itoshi x reader #blue lock itoshi rin #itoshi rin drabble #itoshi rin #itoshi rin bllk #blue lock

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