#and also over exaggerate my issues. the only other thing i could add is lying to people but.

[elytrafemme]

wish i could be all spiteful at my therapist saying that i have borderline functioning tendencies but not consistently enough for it to be classified as an abnormal behavioral thing. like i wish i could do what i’ve been doing for months and plan ways to get her to quit her job or put her in an uncomfortable ultimatum or do anything to get a different response to the same question i’ve asked her for two years. 

but instead... i’m just tired, honestly. like. yeah. my biggest curse is the fact that i can cope with things. which sounds twisted. but if i wasn’t able to cope, i would get help. these problems would be fixed because an intervention would be necessary and forced. but i don’t need an intervention. so the problems aren’t going away. 

and part of me says, so make yourself need an intervention. act out. do something crazy. but it’s like. i’ve already done that. i keep doing things that i say are out of control but are at least partly purposeful so that someone reacts to it. and it hasn’t changed anything. so there really is no way out of this conundrum except to keep repressing this anger over and over because there’s no resolution for it. 

weird. 

#neg #vent #nightmare.vent #negative #do not reblog #if something bad happens to me. i immediately present it to people #and also over exaggerate my issues. the only other thing i could add is lying to people but. #if i start lying. i would tell someone i'm lying. immediately. just so that they would say something. #there's really nothing left to do anymore. i think i've done just about everything to try and get an answer. #even when i was like. 11. i was doing unstable shit so that people would tell me what was wrong with me. #i know the real answer is to wait. do 2-3 sessions a week in the summer. do the same in college. #pay a shit ton of money to see an analyst. #that's what my therapist told me. she was really good today honestly. #she did say that she felt the same about the bpd thing. like when she was a kid she thought that she'd get diagnosed with it #but had the same realization i did. and i don't like that. #because i don't want to be like her. i don't really like her. #but i mean she said nice stuff today. was really really helpful as always honestly. #when i let her talk that is but. i don't know. it's not enough. #something has got to give. but my rock bottom has to be theatric and perfectly timed. #and there's never a time that feels good enough. #so i'm stalling probably yeah. but just. i need it to matter. i need to only do it once. #do something so appalling that people institutionalize me #i think maybe i'll start lying. baby steps. i don't know. #i don't fucking know. #also since. someone will say it. it's not that i'm hooked on getting diagnosed w bpd specifically. #the reason i bring it up is because my symptoms have aligned very closely with it for years and my therapist agrees with that. #it's the best of many examples of me being so close to an answer but it not being attainable.

[jungkxook]

—midnight getaway. (m)

⟶ pairing: jung wooyoung x fem!reader 

⟶ genre: sprinkle of youtuber!wooyoung + fluff / smut

⟶ words: 6,488

⟶ rating: 18+ 

⟶ summary: a “romantic” getaway surrounded by your friends leads to an interesting night alone with wooyoung

⟶ warnings: pwp, wooyoung says baby a lot bc he’s in love, some teasing woo, exhibitionism, doggy style, sort of praise kink, ass play (fingering, fem!recieving), breast play/fondling, finger sucking, riding, unprotected sex, creampie 

⟶ note: this is the first fic i’ve written in a while and my first ateez fic no one come for me pls also this is dedicated to the lovely @kithtaehyung​ !! thank you for always encouraging me and my wooyoung antics!! 💛

p.s. this is shamelessly inspired by this wooyoung selfie!!

“Ugh. You obviously like her.”

The begrudging sigh comes from Yeosang, narrowly giving Wooyoung a heart attack when he realizes that you’re still within earshot. This wouldn’t have been so much of an issue had Yeosang not been so clearly talking about you to Wooyoung, though he barely has any time to recollect himself. Instead, sprawled out on the poolside of the villa the group had rented out for their week-long vacation in Jeju Island, Wooyoung firstly decides that he has no idea what Yeosang’s talking about.

“We’re just friends,” Wooyoung retorts.

“A friend you invite with you on a romantic getaway?” Yeosang asks with a wolfish grin.

Wooyoung shakes his head. He can still see you through the windows of the villa, now in the kitchen talking to Hongjoong. You’re all bright-eyed and glowing from the sun, in a swimsuit you had been putting to use just a few minutes ago when you took a dip in the pool. “Some romantic getaway, considering there’s seven idiots in the same house as us. Also thought this trip was meant to have no distractions.”

Which isn’t really a lie, because while their trip to Jeju was mostly for their YouTube channels, it was also meant to serve as a well-deserved break for the boys, and their leisure work of choice wasn’t exactly taxing and the majority of their trip so far has been spent simply enjoying themselves. Hongjoong had been so adamant too that there would be nothing to hinder them during their well deserved break. And of course you jumped at the offer to tag along when Wooyoung asked you, because you were his best friend but, moreover, his best supporter when it came to his passion and his videos.

“Yeah,” San hums nonchalantly from within the pool. He had been one of the few to jump in with you earlier, “but I don’t think friends flirt with each other on a daily basis.”

“Not to mention your video was all about her,” Jongho adds from beside Wooyoung. “I thought we were supposed to be promoting tourism in Jeju, not Y/N.”

That was a bit of an exaggeration. Sure, you had featured in a lot of the video Wooyoung had only just posted for his “Our Side of the Story” series he was doing (mostly daily vlogs, or aesthetic short films that you’ve always loved ━ much like the others, who have found a way to incorporate their love for music, dance, cooking, and everything in between in their vlogs), but you always made an appearance when you were so close with him. His viewers were used to it by this point, safe for the occasional questioning comments as to whether or not you two were dating. This video in particular saw you having the most fun in a while, frolicking the streets of the city, sprinting across the beach into the shallows of the ocean to try and splash Wooyoung with water; shaved ice shared between you and him and the way you snuck a bite of his when he was preoccupied, bike rides along the waterfront, and clambering along hiking trails so you could pose in a field of flowers that you had so desperately wanted to see.

Now, Wooyoung gives a roll of his eyes. “Funny. I don’t know what you guys are talking about.”

“Yeah, sure,” Yeosang sighs again. “When are you gonna tell her the truth?”

“The video already kind of did,” Jongho points out tauntingly. “If I was Y/N, I would have already realized.”

“Yeah━” San is beaming now as he clambers out of the pool, “but if you don’t want her, Woo, can I make a pass at her? Y’know, just to help take her off your hands━ Ow! What the hell?”

San jumps suddenly when Wooyoung chucks one of the pillows off of the lawn chair at his head.

“Keep your hands off her━” Wooyoung chastises. It’s meant mostly as a joke, but he worries when he recognizes a small part of him seems to care a little too much.

The others seem to find it funny at least, erupting into howling laughter that’s quick to fade when you wander back out to the pool and throw yourself next to Wooyoung.

“They’re definitely starting to catch on.”

Wooyoung lets out a weary sigh, though you’re starting to find it difficult to focus as he continues to kiss down your throat.

So, maybe if any of the boys walked in and saw the both of you in such a compromising position, they would be indescribably confused while also preparing to point an accusatory finger at Wooyoung for technically lying to them. But it isn’t really a lie, and certainly not one neither he nor you were keen on keeping for very long. It’s just that it seemed a whole lot easier to keep your newfound two month relationship with Wooyoung a secret for a small while.

It was mostly to give the both of you enough time to enjoy yourselves thoroughly without the prying eyes of your friends (who, while always supportive, are already passionately invested in your lifelong friendship with Wooyoung, pointing out his feelings for you even far before he could decipher them), their vlogging lifestyle, and their fans, while also waiting for the proper time to expose the truth. After the Jeju trip, you had both promised each other. But that plan was beginning to look more and more faulty as time passes.

What was supposed to be an innocent trip to Jeju with your friends turned into a tricky game in which Wooyoung had entirely different plans that consisted of you only. Specifically, how many times he can find you alone away from the boys to have his way with you. By now, night has since fallen and, after a short duration of time unwinding around a small bonfire in the backyard, the boys had all since retreated to their own rooms. You’re positive most are already long asleep and the ones that aren’t are beginning to nod off, exhausted after a long day and drowsy with liquor from the night of drinking. You’re fortunate Wooyoung at least first chose to find you alone in your room of the villa, but you still panic. Because Wooyoung should be sleeping in his shared room with Hongjoong down the hall from yours, yet here he was.

“My video today probably didn’t help,” Wooyoung adds. 

You hum in response. “I don’t know if sneaking into my room will help with that either.”

At this, Wooyoung grins wide. “It’s fine. Hongjoong’s passed out cold. You should hear his snores. Plus━” He presses a kiss to your shoulder. “I couldn’t sleep without wondering how quickly you can cum.”

You nearly choke as you hear the words fall from Wooyoung’s mouth.

But it wasn’t his fault ━ he has needs too.

The first night of your trip called for a joyous celebration at a nearby restaurant that resulted in everyone being blissfully drunk by the time you returned to the villa. You had gotten so dressed up for the occasion that Wooyoung hated to see it go to waste, adorned in a pretty floral sundress ━ one that has always been his favourite (and, no, he promises that’s not solely because of how nice your boobs look in it, though that’s definitely a plus). If the boys could hear his thoughts now, they’d certainly pick him apart.

The house, however big and spacious it may be, is certainly not empty. Even just next door to your room is the shared room both Mingi and San are in. This is a fact you choose to remind your dear boyfriend of now. “The boys are sleeping.”

“Screw the guys,” Wooyoung groans into your neck. His strong arms slide around your middle from behind, pulling you into an all too familiar and warm embrace. He’s caught you just before you can shed your dress and slip into something more comfortable, all radiant and shimmering from a day out in the sun. You melt almost immediately against his chest as he nibbles on the skin just below your ear, on the corner of your jaw. He whispers ardently, “You look really pretty today. You always do, but especially today.”

A gentle smile spreads across your face. You instinctively reach out behind you to rest your hand on the nape of his neck, fingers tugging at the hair there. “I wore this dress just for you. I know it’s your favourite.”

“Yeah, because your tits look amazing in it,” he snickers. As if to emphasize this, he reaches down slyly to cup one of your breasts over the material of your dress, giving it a squeeze.

“Well, now you’re just trying to distract me into bed with you.”

“Is it working?” he asks hopefully, a smug grin on his face.

You snicker, fidgeting in his hold to face him and patting at his shoulder. “Maybe if we weren’t surrounded by a group of seven drunk men who could potentially hear and walk in on me sucking you off at any moment.”

But Wooyoung has already waited all day for the boys to leave you two alone. Waiting any longer may as well have felt like an eternity in a certain type of special hell that he wasn’t exactly keen on.

“And?” A sudden smirk stretches across his face. He leans in close to you, lips brushing faintly against your ear. “You didn’t have a problem letting me fuck you against the practice room mirror the other day.”

You swat lightly at his chest, scoffing suddenly. “Wooyoung!”

But he has a point. In all fairness, it had been his idea to take you against the practice room mirror when the boys had gone home and you were dropping off food to your poor boyfriend still working late at night. You certainly hadn’t complained then when he had you coming around his cock with the practice room door left unlocked. It’s such a Wooyoung thing to say too, being that he’s not often caught off guard, especially when he’s so blatant and confident about all things sex.

“Can’t you keep it in your pants for one night, Woo?”

“No, he’s in pain,” he pouts childishly. He bites playfully at the tip of your nose.

You sputter for air, dissolving into a fit of laughter. “You did not just call your dick a he━”

“Okay, I’m in pain,” he corrects. He starts kissing down and back up your neck. “It’s not my fault you look extra hot today. Besides, you looked like you were having so much fun today. Is it so wrong for me to want to keep pampering my beautiful girlfriend?”

“With your dick?”

“Yes, with my dick.”

You snort.

“And━” He drags out the word purposely, a playful twinkle in his eyes. “I don’t even want you to suck me off, by the way. All I want is to fuck you senseless right now.”

Oh.

His words send a nerve right down to your core. Your thighs instinctively press together at the thought.

All things considered, you’re not any better. There was no denying how devastatingly attractive your boyfriend always looked, but especially today. A well-deserved break and the Jeju sun did him well, with a beautiful tan starting to glow on his face, free of any make-up or cover-ups. The usual stress of city life and work doesn’t weigh heavy on his brows anymore, and though his hair has gotten longer, it’s a neat and pretty mess ━ a little unruly from the sun and chlorine, and from having taken it down from its half-ponytail, but pretty nonetheless ━ with the under half of it bleached blonde and the top half dyed black. Dressed in nothing but a casual old t-shirt and a pair of board shorts, he’s both wholesomely cute and yet sexy at the same time.

And, while you are surrounded by a group of rowdy boys, Wooyoung isn’t necessarily wrong. He always seems to have a knack for making anything romantic enough if he tries, attributed to his charming ways. A night of lovemaking (or whatever he has in mind) in your room with a beachside view is, all things considered, kind of romantic.

You purse your lips now. “Think they’re all asleep?”

“With how wasted they are? Absolutely,” Wooyoung says brightly. “I tripped over a shoe in our room and Hongjoong didn’t even move.”

It’s risky, sure, but the sudden yearning to be with Wooyoung was almost debilitating. There was no doubt you could both get away with having sex in a packed house, right? Either way, it doesn’t really seem to matter. You’ve already been persuaded, and Wooyoung knows.

He pulls you in for a kiss and you let him get carried away for a moment, reveling in the way he needily nips and sucks at your lower lip. Then, finding a second of clarity, you can be heard saying against his mouth breathlessly, “We’ll have to be quiet.”

“Mmm,” he hums distractedly. “So quiet.”

But that was like asking Wooyoung not to breathe. It’s this passing thought, and the way he pulls and tugs you over to sit on his lap as he sinks onto the edge of the bed in a desperate haste, that has you giggling. He leaves a trail of sloppy kisses down to the underside of your jaw and then along your throat.

You tug at the hair at the nape of his neck as you begin to rut your hips against his slowly. “You look really handsome today, baby. It’s nice seeing you so relaxed for once.”

His stare meets yours suddenly, all sparkling and awed. He grips your waist and presses you a little more firmly against his hips so you can feel his semi-hard dick against your inner thigh. “Ugh,” he sighs, “say that again and I’ll bust a nut right here and now.”

Another giggle meets his ears, but this time it’s a little less focused as it splinters off into a whimper the longer you continue to grind against him. You decide to humour him. “I saw your vlog. It was pretty.”

He audibly whines now, his heart threatening to burst through his chest. “Yeah? I worked hard on it.”

“Is that how you see me?” You think back to the video and how you looked, the soft music overlapping it all.

“Yeah,” he deadpans, “like that piece of washed up kelp you tried throwing at me today━”

“You’re so━”

“I’m joking. Of course that’s how I see you, but that’s only a fraction of what you look like to me. A camera doesn’t do you justice.”

“So you think I’m pretty?” You snicker.

“So pretty.” He kisses you again, this time a little more earnestly. He sighs dreamily against your lips, “No, actually. If my dick isn’t in you in the next minute, I’m gonna go insane.”

A delighted simper sounds from you. “Don’t even have to cum, just as long as you do━”

Your jaw drops open as you find an angle that has you pushing your clit against his clothed dick just right. But even though you had so innocently offered to only get him off, part of the fun was seeing how quickly and how many times he could make you cum before finishing himself off. You deserve it, after all.

“God, you’re such a good girl,” he moans. He takes a moment to appreciate you in your current state. You, straddling his lap, eager hips moving against his with your brows pinched in concentration, the pretty material of your dress hiking up around your thighs. He reaches down, palms rough as they grip at the soft flesh of your thighs. “Look at you, already so needy for me. It’s so fucking sexy.”

Wooyoung fidgets beneath you. He burrows his face in the crook of your neck, nipping at your throat.

“How do you want me first, princess?” he asks sweetly now, peppering kisses along your throat, tongue soothing the marks he’s left behind. “Want my fingers in you?”

“N-No━” You croak. “Just wanna feel your dick.”

Excitement prickles at the tips of his fingers as he massages circles against your hips. “In your mouth or in you?”

“In me,” You rasp. “Now. Please, Woo━”

He marvels for a moment at how he’s so stupidly in love with you and your pretty words despite them having such dirty implications, and he hastens to please you. A wolfish grin tugs at his lips as he smothers them against your mouth, but then the giddy sensation of finally getting to have his cock buried in your walls overcomes him. He murmurs into a wet kiss, “As much as I love this dress, let’s get it off of you.”

He hastens to help you shove the straps of your dress down your shoulders, then off your arms. Then, he watches as you stand up to shimmy your way out of it, the material pooling at your feet, exposing your figure and the fact that you’re not even wearing a bra. The swell of your breasts meets his eyes first, and you’ve barely just kicked your way out of your panties when he’s pulling you onto his lap again, warm mouth latching onto one of your breasts. His lips wrap around your nipple, teeth nibbling on the sensitive bud. He can’t seem to get enough, moving to bite and suck at the soft flesh all over, shifting from one to the other, then down the valley of your breasts. A moan falls from your lips, hands pulling harshly at his hair as you push him further into your chest.

“Wooyoung…” You whine. “We gotta be quick.”

Though he wants nothing more than to mark up your chest all over, he relents only when he remembers that the boys are nearby. “Okay, okay━ Here━”

He grabs at your waist, shifting you around until you’re on your back splayed out beneath him. Towering over you, he pushes the material of his shorts down, pulling his aching dick from the tight confinements. Your eyes fall to the way he fists himself hurriedly, tip all red and glistening with precum, and the one prominent vein bulging along his length. You bite at your lip, legs instinctively spreading wider for him.

“Are we really gonna do this?” he asks, excited. “With the guys here?”

“Think it’s too late to ask when we’re both already naked,” You giggle. You remind him again, this time a little weaker, “Just remember to be quiet.”

He hums in response. Then, he teases you by running the length of his hard dick against your slick folds, already dripping with slick arousal.

“God, baby,” he groans, “you’re so wet already.” He taps the tip of his cock against your pussy, the sudden jolt sending your head spinning. As he rubs himself on you, the sticky wetness glides along the prominent vein of his length and spreads messily out to the top of your inner thighs. “Did I do all this to you?”

“Woo, no teasing,” You chastize in a small whine. A shiver runs down your spine at the feeling, and you hate having to resist all his teasing touches. “What if someone tries coming in?”

He flashes you a shit-eating grin. “Let them. If it’s Seonghwa, even better. I can finally get payback for when he purposely ate some girl out on my bed.”

You snort lazily, stifling your giggles. “Focus, baby.”

“I am focused,” he says smugly. He emphasizes this by pressing his dick a little harder against your folds, teasing the tip of it against your entrance. “With you spread out like this for me, all sexy━ Fuck, I’m so focused.”

But what he doesn’t tell you is that the thought alone of one of the boys walking in on the both of you is enough to excite him to no end. He can imagine it now, one of them wandering into the room while you’re writhing beneath Wooyoung, taking his dick so well, moaning nothing but his name. He yearns to feel you all at once, hurrying to please you.

Without warning, he pushes himself into you, cock stretching you wide in just the way you both like. Almost immediately, low gasps and groans sound from the both of you.

“Ah, f-fuck! Woo━” You smother your sudden cries with a hand clamping over your mouth.

“Shit, I know,” he sputters for air. His voice is heavy in your ear, a low grunt only for you to hear. “You feel so fucking good, baby━”

His head is swimming even just at the way your walls wrap around his tip so snug. He pushes himself into you the rest of the way, bottoming out with a sudden forceful and indulgent thrust when━

The headboard slams against the wall, exceptionally loud.

“Fuck, Wooyoung━ Woo━” You grip at his arms. “The bed.”

His eyes meet yours, stunned momentarily as you wait and listen. A minute passes, but the house continues to remain silent.

“It’s okay. Even if they do hear, it’s not as if they probably won’t know what we’re doing,” Wooyoung points out, matter-of-fact. “We haven’t exactly been very careful lately.”

“Still,” You insist. Your walls throb around his hard dick, desperate for some sort of movement. “It’ll give me some peace of mind.”

His heart swoons at your timidness, and though he has fun teasing you, he would never actually want to risk getting caught by one of the boys (however many close calls he’s already had with you) or, worse, upsetting you to the point of no return.

In the next moment, Wooyoung pulls out of you, then pushes back in again, this time less forceful. He swears he tries to be wary of the bed and of making too much noise but, much to both of your dismay, while the frame doesn’t bang against the wall too noticeably, the bed still creaks beneath you.

Wooyoung grits his teeth. He tries again, then one more time, and though your head lolls back at the sensation of him stretching you wide, you meet his gaze with your own apprehensive hazy one. Even Wooyoung’s patience is wearing thin when all he wants to do is tear you apart ━ that, and the slight creak of the bed is enough to start driving him insane.

“Fuck this,” his pace stutters to a halt, “let’s get on the floor. Can you get on your hands and knees for me, baby?”

“Good idea.” Your heart jolts in your chest from the excitement.

Within a matter of seconds, he’s parting from you, leaving you momentarily stunned at the loss of warmth. He helps you to your feet so that the both of you can sink to the floor on your knees. Before you can drop into all fours, Wooyoung stops you by reaching out for the blanket on the bed and tucking it underneath the both of you, but mostly to soften the ground underneath your knees. When he catches you surveying him with a fond gleam in your eyes, he quirks a brow.

“What? It’s just so you don’t get too uncomfortable,” he says sweetly, peppering a few kisses along your shoulder. “Is this good?”

“Amazing.” Your heart swells at all his gentle touches. You catch his lips on yours, faintly murmuring, “I love you. Like, so much.”

You can feel his grin against your mouth. “You know I love you too. And as much as I would also love to hear you go on about how I’m the most perfect boyfriend, I need to be in you right now.”

A pretty giggle meets his ears, and he marvels for a second how you’re so quick to oblige. Propping yourself up on your elbows, your ass juts out in his direction. You give it a little tempting wiggle, and he hurries to position himself behind you. With one hand on the small of your back, he guides you back down his length.

“Ah━ Fuuuck━” He moans. “Arch your back a little more for me, baby.”

You do as you’re told, leaning forward just enough on your elbows and sticking your hips back to meet his as he sinks balls deep into your core. Then, he’s crumbling apart, all breathy panting as he tries to focus.

“Shit, baby━”

“Mmm━”

“You’re so tight. So wet. I’m not gonna last,” he pouts, as if it’s a genuine disappointment. He watches as he pulls out of your heat just enough before shoving himself back in, his dick covered in a glistening sheen of your arousal. You’re so damn wet, he wonders how he hasn’t slipped from you yet. His hands grip and tug at your ass, spreading you to see the way your cunt pulsates and stretches around his dick. So perfect, almost as if you were made for him. “Tell me. Wanna hear how good you feel right now.”

“S-So good,” You mumble drunkenly. “God, you’re so good, Woo. Fuck━!”

His gaze droops down to your breasts, bouncing with each thrust of his hips into yours. He reaches around and grabs at one of your boobs. The gentle shake of the soft flesh in his palms is always his favourite feeling, and he can’t help but squeeze at them now because, god, he really does love your tits. If he had all the time in the world, he would do anything to fuck himself between your boobs, and cum all over your chest ━ but that will have to wait for now.

“Ah━ Fuck━ Wish I could take my time with you right now,” he moans, planting sloppy kisses along your shoulder. “I can’t wait till we’re alone. Gonna take care of you so well, baby.”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he grunts. He reaches down with his other hand, thumb pressing against the tight hole of your ass. The sensation alone is enough to have you nearly keeling over, a strangled cry of pleasure ripping from you. “Want you coming on my tongue so bad. Gonna fuck you against every surface too. You deserve it. You’re always so good to me, princess.”

“Only for you,” You whimper. If he wasn’t so pressed for time, the affirmation alone would have been more than enough to make him melt in your very hands. But his dick is still so hard, and your pussy is still so wet, all he can focus on is not slipping from your walls with every thrust of his hips. “Ah, Wooyoung! Y-You’re so━ So hard━”

You bite harshly at your lip when a loud moan threatens to spill from you. You bury your face in the blanket around you, clutching so tightly at the material. A part of Wooyoung finds it amusing, if only because, if the boys are awake and don’t hear your lewd moans, there’s no doubt they won’t be able to hear the sound of skin against skin as his hips slap against your ass.

“Let me hear you, baby,” he coaxes now. “Moan out loud for me.” When you shake your head, he snickers. “Want it harder? Will that help you?”

He gives an experimental roll of his hips, a little rougher than usual. It sends you teetering forward, a broken groan tumbling from you that’s left muffled by the blanket. He can hear you mumble wantonly, “Don’t be a tease.”

A cheshire-like grin spreads across his face. “Here━ Come sit on my dick. Wanna feel you so deep━”

His words make you moan softly, followed by the way he pulls out of you just quickly enough to sit back against the bed. He tugs you onto his lap and you follow suit, spreading your legs further apart as you sink onto his leaking dick. Down, down, down, until it almost feels as if he’s hitting your cervix, and suddenly you’re not so sure you’ll be able to keep it together any longer. That, mixed with the way he’s gazing at you, all hooded eyed and alluring, you’re very close to dissolving into a mess right in his very arms.

“Ah━ Ah━ Fuck, baby━” You grip at his shoulders as you adjust to the new feeling, hips squirming above his. “Wooyoung, please━”

But your words fall short. The desperate plea that hinges in your voice fades into nothing more than the urgent need to feel more of him, to have him absolutely wreck you, as you begin to rock your hips back and forth on his dick.

“Please what, baby?” he taunts lazily. But he knows what he’s doing, slyly beckoning you to make a mess, and moan for him.

His palms are warm as they slide up your sides, then around your back, hugging you close to his chest. He thrusts his hips up just once into you, sending you into a haste that has you lifting yourself up and then back down his cock. As you adopt a steady and reckless pace that has you bouncing on his length, he watches your every reaction. The way your face contorts at the sheer pleasure, brows pinched so hard in concentration, teeth sinking into your lower lip. Your hands reach out to thread through his long locks, pretty blonde tresses running through the seams of your fingers. You tug lightly at the root, earning a low groan from him.

“Fuck, Y/N━” His head rolls back against the mattress at your quick pace. “You’re so fucking sexy━ So desperate for my dick━ Ah━”

He moans suddenly, only this time it’s less muffled than before. Whether he does it the first time to tease you or simply because he had gotten carried away, you aren’t quite sure. Either way, it’s enough to startle you, even amongst the daze you’re in.

“Wooyoung━” Your voice is a small warning, but it lacks any severity when it splinters into a whine. “Not so loud.”

“They’re━ Ah, fuck━ sleeping━”

You meet his mischievous stare with your own heedful one. Your pace slows, if only just, and you’re certain this time that when he moans even louder, it’s entirely on purpose.

“Woo!” You clamp a hand softly over his mouth, smothering the tail end of his crude groan.

The grin that forms on his face beneath your hand is evident of his amusement of his toying with you but it turns sluggish quickly. The sight to see is hot enough, with the drowsy lopsided smirk poking out from underneath your hand as he watches you continue to ride him, now a measured gyrating against his own hips. When he realizes you’ve chosen to keep your hand over his mouth, he reaches up to grab a hold of your wrist, his large fingers splaying out and then up over your knuckles.

“Come on, baby. It’s okay. Let it out,” he hums. He kisses at your fingertips, tongue swiveling around to suck on your digits delicately. “Not even one tiny moan? Let me hear that pretty voice of yours.”

He can feel your thighs begin to shake around him and, judging by the crescendoing of whimpers tumbling from your mouth, he senses you’re close. Your free hand still grips at his hair, this time a little tighter as you try to anchor yourself in place to rock your hips a little faster. Wooyoung hisses delightfully at the feeling, a small lethargic chuckle rumbling from deep within his chest.

Rough hands grab at your waist now, shifting you around abruptly until you’re splayed out on the floor on your back with him hovering over you. His length stays wedged snugly in your walls, never once slipping, and as he settles against your chest, he lifts one of your legs up and over his shoulder. An animalistic growl slips from him at your pinched face, and the way your cunt starts to squeeze around him. With this angle that his hips pound into yours, his cock hits so deep into your core, pummeling against your cervix again and again.

“H-Harder━ Wooyoung━” You pant. “Please━ I’m gonna━”

Finally, a moan sounds from you. Loud and unabashed, a little broken and exhausted, but beautiful to Wooyoung’s ears nonetheless. In fact, it’s so sexy of a noise that it’s enough to nearly push him over the edge but he relents, if only just for a little longer.

“Ah, there’s my favourite sound,” he smirks. His tongue lavs at the underside of your jaw, and your hand finds itself tangled in his hair once more. “Gonna be a good girl and let the boys hear you now?”

You try with all your might to silence yourself, but the task proves more and more difficult. A few more slams of his hips into yours, and you’re crumbling apart right before his eyes.

“Fuck━ Wooyoung━”

“That’s it, baby,” he grunts into your ear. “Cum for me.”

As you come, the sudden gush of wetness around your core coats his length and he almost accidentally slips from your cunt. You’re clenched so tightly around him, Wooyoung feels as if he has to gasp for air to stay focused. His eyes still stay trained on you, watching as your face contorts as you writhe beneath him. But it’s your shameless moaning that sets him off, albeit still softer than usual but much louder than he was expecting from you with the boys so close by.

“Ah━ You’re so fucking hot━” he whines. “Gonna cum━”

Every thrust of his hips sends you bobbing up and down, and as you come down from your high the pleasurable feeling of his hard cock still burrowed in your sensitive walls has you whimpering softly. Your legs try to separate further, beckoning him for more.

“Cum in me, Youngie,” you beckon dazedly. “Wanna feel it so bad━”

“Oh, fuck━” he gasps. “Can I?”

“Y-Yes.”

“You’re so good to me, baby. Aren’t you?”

His pace quickens, hips snapping into yours urgently. One final shuddering thrust and he’s overwhelmed by his orgasm, cock pulsating within your aching walls as his cum fills you up. He has to bury his face in the crook of your neck to muffle his moans, listening to the sharp gasp for air you take when you feel his release.

He rides out his high in a few more leisure rolls of his hips, though he seems more concerned now with kissing your throat slowly. He gently unravels your leg from his shoulder, then slumps against you like the comfortable heavy weight that he is. His dick lays softening still buried within your walls, now leaking with his cum.

“Have I ever told you how amazing you are?” You hear him sigh dreamily into your neck. “‘Cause you are.”

“Almost daily,” You concur with a giggle. Your own fingers smooth out his hair, fixing the messy strands, and he croons with delight. He leaves a trail of sweet kisses up along your throat, then your jaw, and then the corner of your mouth. Safe for the laboured breathing as you both try to calm your shrill hearts, you’re made aware so suddenly of just how quiet the room suddenly is. “There’s no way the guys slept through all of that.”

“I’m sure they did.” Wooyoung nibbles gingerly at your lip. “There’s nothing to worry about. Especially right now. I’m so tired. We can deal with the potential consequences later.”

You snort. “How did I know that’s exactly what you would say?”

You catch him smirking before he plants one last kiss on your lips. Somehow, he’s able to pry himself off of you long enough to slip into his shorts laying discarded on the floor before disappearing outside of the room into the darkened hallway. He returns moments later with a damp towel to help clean up the sticky mess between your legs, then tugs you back onto the bed with him.

“They’ll see you sneaking out of my room if you sleep here,” You point out through a yawn.

“I’ll get up before them,” he insists. “Just give me an hour with you, like this.”

You can’t resist the urge.

At the very least, you fall asleep first in his arms, his fingers playing with your hair. He must slip away from you at some point during the night, unraveling himself carefully from your sleeping figure to retreat to his own room. You’ll tell the boys eventually of your relationship with Wooyoung, you swear.

But for now, there, under the covers of the bed, you have all the time in the world to enjoy yourself with Wooyoung in pure, unadulterated silence.

In the morning when you wake up, you join your boyfriend with the rest of the boys downstairs in the kitchen for breakfast.

You’re the last to arrive, having wanted to take your time in the shower ━ a fact that Wooyoung laments, because he wanted nothing more than to shower with you to “save water” (which really just translates to more sex), but with only two bathrooms and nine people, the feat seemed impossible. Now, you sidle into the seat next to Wooyoung at the kitchen table, smiling down at him when his eyes flicker to you which seems to go unnoticed by the others.

“How was your night?” Yunho asks passively once you’ve settled into place. “Did you sleep well?”

You nod, as Wooyoung answers, “Best sleep of my life.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” This amused offhanded scoff comes from San under his breath. It causes Mingi to almost choke on his sip of orange juice as he snorts into the glass.

“What was that?” Wooyoung asks.

“Oh, nothing,” San says. The smirk on his face says otherwise. “Thought we heard some loud noises last night. It was weird.”

Then there’s Mingi, leaning across the table to catch your attention alone. He shoots you a more merciful look, though he still seems entertained nevertheless when he whispers to you, “You have something on your neck.”

Your hand instinctively clamps onto your throat, over the spot Mingi points to as you mentally curse yourself. While you had been so preoccupied the night before trying not to make any noise, you forgot to warn Wooyoung against leaving any noticeable marks on your body ━ a bad habit of his, and your fatal mistake for forgetting to check the morning after.

The others are fortunately not paying attention, already absorbed in their own conversations, but the horror of so clearly being found out by San and Mingi sends you into a frenzy. It even seems to alarm Wooyoung judging by the way he starts laughing nervously, though maybe that’s because your knee bashes against his under the table and sends him jumping in his seat.

Clearly, you have a lot of explaining to do. Eventually.

The last thing you hear San say before he and Mingi howl with laughter seems to make even the charmingly confident Wooyoung slightly frazzled, and leaves you all the more confused.

“Some romantic getaway, huh?” 

⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work.

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

#wooyoung #wooyoung smut #wooyoung fluff #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung x you #wooyoung x y/n #ateez #ateez smut #ateez scenarios #wooyoung scenarios #wooyoung imagine #jung wooyoung #jung wooyoung smut #wooyoung oneshot #ateez oneshot #ateez x reader #jung wooyoung fluff #ateez fanfic #wooyoung imagines

[sidespart]

Sibling Culture

Summary: Younger siblings Patton, Virgil and Roman share some stories about their older siblings Deceit, Logan and Remus. Patton and Virgil’s stories are cute. Roman’s are not.

Warnings: Abuse, Unsympathetic Remus, Non graphic descriptions of abuse, Not great understanding of mental health issues (child POV), authority figures not being very useful, child being exposed to sexual situations (very much not graphic). Ask if you want me to add more. 

Relationships: Gen, but a bit of pre-relationship moxiety snuck in because I love them

“Hey, how’d you get that scar?”

Despite the warm day, Roman felt cold grip his insides, twisting upwards towards his throat and freezing any denial he could think of until he was startled by a laugh from Patton.

“Oh! It was Dee’s fault.”

Wincing, Roman twisted himself so he could see the other two properly. Patton was still sprawled out on the grass next to him, but Virgil had sat up. He was hunched over, peering at Patton’s leg. When he saw Roman carefully sit up to join him he pointed at a faded sliver of a scar, just above Patton’s left knee.

“What did he DO?” Virgil face had shifted into a scowl at the mention his ‘arch enemy’ but that faded quickly as Patton started giggling.

“It was when I was …four? I think? He convinced me the Easter Bunny didn’t come to our house because the Easter Fox lived in our yard. I had to go out and patrol the yard, make sure it was safe, or I wouldn’t get any candy that year.”

-It said something about years of friendship with both Patton and Devin Sanders that neither Roman or Virgil thought to question that logic-

“Anyway he let me stomp around there for ever and then he jumped out in this fox mask to scare me!”

“This kind’ve thing is why he’s a dick” Virgil muttered. His hand, Roman noticed, was still on Patton’s leg, thumb swiping idly over the scar.

“He was nine, Vee” Patton said reprovingly, although he didn’t actually deny the comment, “anyway, he didn’t know I’d snuck a knife from the dishwasher-

“You WHAT?-”

“A KNIFE?-”

“-there was candy AND a bunnys life a stake, guys I was taking it seriously!” Patton’s eyes were sparkling with laughter at the twin looks of horror on his friends faces. “Anyway, he startled me so bad that of course I dropped it right away – sliced my knee up as it fell.”

“oh my God” Virgil groaned finally relinquishing Patton’s leg so he could bury his face in his hands. “That could have been so bad Pat.”

“what did Devin do?” Roman asked quietly.

“oh, he freaked – Virgil will you come out of there I’m fine – yelled so loud both our parents came running. Then, once I was all bandaged up, he tried to convince them I fell off a skateboard.”

That was enough to make Virgil peak through his fingers, a frown on his face “Did you ever even own a skateboard?”

Patton shifted himself so he was sitting up as well, an extremely solemn look on his face.

“We did not.”

There was a brief, pregnant pause before all three of them cracked up, their laughter echoing across Vigil’s yard.

“Older brothers are the worst.” Virgil pronounced. Despite the heat of the day he was still wearing his thick hoodie over a t-shirt and jeans, but now he started pushing up his right sleeve “Did I ever tell you about the time Logan threw me out of the tree house?”

“He what??!” Roman yelped.

“He would NEVER!” Patton gasped.

“He did” Virgil held his right arm up, revealing a long puckered line that ran from his mid forearm across his elbow. “It was before either of you moved here, I had a cast and everything”

All three of them took a moment to admire Virgil’s scar, much more raised and defined than Patton’s, before Roman asked the question they were no doubt all thinking:

“What colour was your cast?”

“Purple.”

“Nice.”

“Did Logan really push you Virgil?” Roman had to do his absolute best not to laugh at the pout that appeared on Virgil’s face when he took in Patton’s heartbroken expression.

Logan McAlister, was four years older than the three friends and Patton had fixated on him the moment they’d met. Roman has spent years watching Patton go from hero worship to puppy love to full blown crush all while Virgil stomped along next to him like a gloomy, jealous, storm cloud.

Not that Virgil would ever admit that it was jealousy making him snap and snarl at his brother whenever his friends came around…but their relationship certainly seemed to become more civil once Patton had gotten over his crush.

Roman couldn’t really blame Patton either. Virgil had never said anything and Logan…Logan was cool.

“He built a plane.” Virgil muttered eventually, shoving his sleeve back into place. “or a glider or…something. A box with a sheet stuck too it anyway. We both sat in it and he pushed us out of there.” He pointed towards the somewhat dilapidated tree house nestled in the tallest tree in the yard.

Roman let out a low whistle. Now that the three of them were quickly approaching seventeen they had physically, if not mentally, started to outgrow the tree house. Which meant it was no longer useful for much beyond lying down almost on top of each other during study sessions or lazy afternoon naps. When Roman had first met Virgil at age ten however it had seemed enormous. And very high up. It would have seemed even higher whenever the Ill-fated glider attempt had happened.

‘Were you scared?” he asked, watching Virgil carefully, but the other boy just shrugged.

“I don’t remember much to be honest. We were both pretty small.” He grinned. “I just remember afterwards. Logan kept coming into my room to sneak me chips and read his Physics text book to me”

“Aww! That so sweet!”

“Such a nerd.”

“Yeah.” Virgil ducked his head a little, apparently agreeing with both statements. He plucked a few strands of grass from the lawn, twisting them between his fingers.

Roman glanced at Patton, concerned. They both knew Virgil missed his brother, away at college and not due for a visit for at least a month. They also knew that asking him directly about it was a guaranteed way to get the emo to tense up.

Just as Roman was debating launching himself into a rendition of Black Parade as a distraction Virgil rolled his shoulders a looked up at him.

“Your turn.”

That cold grip he’d felt when he thought Virgil had noticed one of his scars was suddenly back ten fold.

“Oh…”

That made sense. Patton had shared a dumb sibling story. Then Virgil. Now it was his turn. It was only fair.

“Well…”

Roman was suddenly finding it quite difficult to breath. And to think. What was he supposed to tell them?

“I…”

He sat frozen. While two expectant faces stared at him, he racked his brain for a story to tell.

  -

When they’re seven Roman draws out his first story. Crude renderings of superheroes and scientists and scientist-superheroes in the rainforest. it’s boring Remus complains when he sees it. You’re boring Ro’. Make them fight! No - make ‘em smash that guys head in!

No! Roman shouts and Remus scowls. Grabs at the craft scissors lying on the table and jumps towards Roman; trying to both rip the paper out of his hands and cut it to pieces at the same time whilst Roman screams and screams.

Later, their mother gently cleans the tiny scratches on Romans hand whilst Remus sulks at the table. He started it Remus mutters and Roman feels his mothers arms tighten around him. Protective.

 - 

When they’re nine they get taken on a trip to the public pool in the next town. This pool is bigger than their local one with slides and pool toys and jets. The two of them spend a happy hour chasing each other with pool noodles and racing each other in the water. And then Remus pushes Romans head underwater and holds him down until his lungs are burning so badly he opens his mouth. He spends their last precious minutes of the trip hacking and spluttering. Clinging to the pools edge with his brothers laughter ringing in his ears.

 -

When they’re eleven Remus sneaks into his room at night with their fathers laptop tucked securely under his arm. Wakes Roman up by crashing onto the bed next to him and says look what I found!

Roman isn’t really sure what he’s found at first. The sounds off, presumably to avoid alerting their parents in the room next door, the websites unfamiliar – it takes a few seconds for the pulsing blobs to be recognisable as people and when they do YURGHH! Roman shrikes slams the laptop closed whilst Remus howls with laughter what were they doing to that woman?!

what were they – oh my god your such a pussy Roman don’t you know? Let me show you another one-

NO

Roman kicks and punches and shoves trying to get Remus away from him and Remus is laughing laughing laughing until he isn’t. Until their parents are in the room, shouting, trying to separate them and Remus is using the laptop like a bludgeon, slamming the edge into Romans ribs, each hit punctuated with Why! Do! You! Ruin! Everything!

The next day Virgil asks if he wants to come and play in the tree house and Roman says no. He has to be home early. Visitors. Virgil accepts the lie easily and Roman tries not to breath to deeply.

  -

The thing is you cant blame Remus. You’re not allowed. Not really. 

There’s something wrong with him.

What that something is seems to change often depending on which adult you ask. Every few months their parents bring Remus back from a new therapist with a new diagnosis and a new bottle of pills and big grins because THIS time they’re going to fix him.

  -

When they’re twelve Romans mother smiles at him and says Your such a good boy Roman. You keep me going. Their mother doesn’t smile much these days and the sight of it is almost as good as the praise. I know its hard. It must be so frustrating for you.

Last month Remus had convinced an older boy to gift him a box of cigarettes. That morning he’d  found them again and finally tried to smoke them, recruiting a reluctant Roman to keep watch. When he’d gagged on the taste he’d made exaggerated vomiting noises before stuffing the still burning end into Romans palm.

But we’re all in this together. You know?

Roman knows. He wants to help. He decides that unless the injury is bad enough he can’t fix it himself he simply wont tell his parents. He wants to help keep them going.

  -

When they’re thirteen Remus watches some murder mystery show and decides to burn his fingerprints off on the kitchen stove. We should do yours too! Shoving his mangled thumb under Romans nose. The smell makes Roman gag. Remus’ eyes are fever bright. We could be partners in crime!

 -

When they’re fourteen Remus decides he wants white streaks in his hair. And since they’re twins Roman should too. His attempt to bleach Romans hair as he sleeps leads to ruined sheets and a smattering of chemical burns across his neck and shoulders. He tells Patton it was a cooking accident and invests his saved allowance in jackets with high starched collars.

 -

When they’re fifteen he tells someone.

Their school has an assembly. Some outside company performing a play about abusive relationships. The teachers all have their sombre This Is A Serious Topic Don’t You Dare Laugh faces on as the actors work. Roman watches closely, picking up on all the false steps and poorly delivered lines which he would surely have avoided if he was an actor. The story is about a school girl who gets into a relationship with an older man who turns abusive. All throughout the play she drops increasingly massive hints to her friends and family who blithely ignore her until she dies spectacularly and loudly in the final scene.

On one side of Roman, Patton is fully sobbing. On the other Virgil is quite possibly asleep. The actors come out to a smattering of applause (lead overly enthusiastically by Patton) and launch in to a pre-prepared speech. Remember the signs! Tell a parent or teacher if you’re in trouble! If you suspect your friend is in trouble! Abuse can happen to anyone! Abusers can BE anyone!

Huh. Roman thinks afterwards.

He probably doesn’t count if it’s a sibling though.

Remus isn’t a stranger. Like the man in the play. And they’re the same age.

Still.

The next day he feels like he’s in a trance.

He takes his jacket off in his first class. Art. Pat and Virgil aren’t in this class with him. Better that way.

There are bruises on his forearms. Dark splotches which are so so obviously made by fingers.

He waits. One minute. Two.

Roman! His teacher is in front of him, faster than he anticipated, alarmed look on his face. What happened to your arm?

Stay in the trance. No shaking. M-my brother did it. He wanted the TV remote.

A pause that seems to last and hour and then his teachers’ laughing a shaky laugh. Smiles at him exasperated but fond. Roman aren’t you two a little too old to be roughhousing like that?

Right

It doesn’t count.

You can’t be abused by a sibling. A few cuts, bruises, scars – that’s just sibling culture baby. Virgil and Patton have stories too – you don’t see them freezing up. Complaining

Don’t be a pussy Roman.

He puts his jacket back on and keeps it on for the rest of the day.

 -

When they’re sixteen Remus comes home for the weekend, sits at the kitchen table and asks if Roman wants to hang out.

-Remus goes to a special school for behaviourally challenged students and only comes back every other weekend. Their parents cried when he left. Thought they’d failed. Felt devastated. Roman didn’t feel much of anything and wonders if that makes him a bad person-

Remus is calmer these days but Roman still says no. He has plans with his friends. Oh yes. Remus rolls his eyes Paddington Bore and the Virgin.

Roman glares at him. Don’t call them that. Even though that’s basically affectionate, for Remus. And Remus looks at him for a long moment before nodding. Standing up, shoving the table hard into Roman’s hip leaving him gasping in pain.

By the time he’s limped his way to Virgil’s house the sun is high in the sky. Patton suggests lazy nap time in the tree house and just looking at the ladder makes Roman want to vomit.

It’s such a beautiful day Padre he crys, lets lie amongst the wildflowers like the majestic forest nymphs we are.

Its literally just grass Virgil sighs but Patton laughs and Roman lowers himself stiffly down. Carefully keeps the pain out of his face as his hip makes contact with the ground. Turns away from them whilst he grits his teeth through it, ostensibly napping until Virgil says

Hey, how’d you get that scar?

   -

“Roman?”

Virgil and Patton were both staring at him. Shit Roman thought. How long had he been day-dreaming? Day-reminiscing? Day-

“Earth to Roman.” Patton again, there was crinkle of concern between his eyebrows and that wouldn’t do at all.

“Well-“ Roman boomed in his best dramatic bellow, what Virgil call his ‘Prince Roman’ voice: “I am afraid I will have to disappoint you my friends, twins are not bound by your foolish ‘older sibling’ ‘younger sibling’ stereotypes”

“I mean, technically, one of you is the older sibling” Virgil muttered while Patton laughed “you’re seriously telling me neither of you ever did something dumb and got the other one hurt?”

“Virgil Madelaine McAlister-“

“Not my middle name.”

“-I will have you know that I have never done anything dumb. Ever. In my life!” he punctuated that statement with a dramatic point to the heavens. Patton was now laughing hard enough that Roman was fairly sure he should be offended and Virgil was fighting a smirk.

“You really never fight?”

“We’re a united front.” Drop it, drop it please just drop it he chanted internally.

And then, miracle of miracles, Virgil did. Letting himself flop back to the ground with a soft ‘humph’.

“It must be nice to have a twin” Patton said a little wistfully. Careful he arranged himself back on the ground so his head was cushioned on Virgil’s stomach. “you’re basically born with a ready-made friend!”

“And you get to do everything together” Virgil murmured a faint blush on his face and one hand hovering in the vicinity of Patton’s hair. “No one has to get left behind when one goes off to college.”

Roman glanced down at him, worried, but Virgil just met his gaze softly, one side of his mouth pulling up into one of his rare sweet smiles. “You’re so lucky Roman.”

Roman nodded. Ignored the quick flare of pain in his hip as he laid himself back down in the grass. He let out a contented sigh as the warmth of the ground sunk into his bones, soothing the ache

“Very lucky.” He agreed quietly.

#roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #unsympathetic remus #creativitwins #angsty not helathy creativitwins #fic #lockdown induced procrastination efforts #moxiety if your squint #like you dont have to squint hard #literaly never written fic before but why not is quarentine rules baby #my fic #sidespart writes

[ashreblogsnow]

I don't even know you!  (Izuku Midoriya x fem!villain Reader)

(A/N) I'm doing it besties :) the next part, finally. I'm so happy people actually liked it and ignored my terrible mistakes lol, the 4th quarter just started at my school I'm already behind cause I was sick, my birthday is coming up and a lot of mental stuff is going on so I don't know how often I will be able to update but I hope this will Suffice for now lol. this is in y/ns pov so the next chapter will either be mixed povs or just Deku's. this I also more of a filler chapter so sorry its short lmao (I have two more filler chapters after this one, each about the same length as this, after that I will get into the drama and everything else. I am way too tired for tags rn so I'm just doing it in the morning T-T

Part: (1.25/??)

italics are flashbacks as always.

!Series Warnings!

(Angst, amnesia, pregnancy, language, implied sex ig?, Deku being how I think he would be in this situation, lies, fighting, violence, yelling, drugs, witch type lady in this one, I forgot to add kids, not proofed!)

Readers pronouns and quirk: (she/her) and matter manipulation allowing the reader to manipulate any and all matter including cells, DNA, and much more.

Word count: 571

(as its a filler chapter it its as long as the previous chapter)

*

*

3 months.

It's been three months since I went into hiding, it only took me half of that to find the island.

Its truly beautiful, I think the most beautiful part is that they don't care, they don't care where you came from, who you were before you stepped foot in its dandelion fields and green hills. Everyone on the island ran away, but that's ok. You can do whatever you please here, they only let in those with good intentions, the islands witch makes sure of that.

I'd be lying if I said I don't miss my old life but at this point what can I do? I feel bad for this kid, having a father who doesn't even know about it or its mother. Damn, I mean my childhood had its issues but to that level?

No way.

But back on topic, the island seems to not mind our presence, despite my history the witch let us in. Its was a confusing act to say the least but no way in hell am I complaining haha. I get to know its gender in two-is weeks, I'm surprisingly excited considering the circumstances.

It seems like I might finally be able to put my past issues behind me (the fact they don't have wi-fi will certainly help)

I made a friend at the health clinic last week she said her name was Makayla. She had an abusive ex-husband and ran away to here with her at the time- infant daughter. She said they have been at the island for four years. She often comments on how its much prettier here than in America whenever we walk to the market together.

well there she is-

I'll get back to you whenever I can.

5 months

ITS A BOY- I MEAN HES A BOY I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT!

Oh I should probably stop writing with such exaggeration whoops. wow. Only four more months then I see his face. That sounds so crazy, I guess it will be easier to keep each other company then. Ive gotten closer with Makayla over the two months since I last wrote. I guess I've just been caught up in helping around the island, geez. I have so much to write about.

My Izuku obsession is worse than before we dated T-T.

I think I might make the baby's name something Izuku would like, I haven't found anything but me and mack have been looking.

Speaking of her I think she's a better friend than anyone was before here, she's been to all of the appointments, meetings with the island witch or as everyone calls her Akasuki. Its meaning suits her more than it should. Bright helper.

She is helpful.

I can't feel my feet half of the time and whoever I complain all mack says is "oh trust me it only gets worse" and giggles. Like what is she hinting at? How am I supposed to respond to that? "Oh thank you so much for scaring me so much I'm surprised I haven't given birth here and now"

The nursery is coming together, my quirk truly coming in handy when creating things.

Every know and then I swear I can see his green hair just beyond the corner, picture his intoxicating smile behind me as if nothing changed and tat scares me. If I could take what I did back I would.

but I can't.

#im too tired for this rn #izuku midoria x reader #izuku midoriya #x reader #x reader angst #deku midoriya #x villain reader #mha deku #reader x deku #midoriya x reader #bnha #reader x bnha #mha #imagine #um idk what else to tag

[rochey1010]

Hi guys, 👋 i just wanted to make a post about something that i feel is about to happen on the show, like i am completely convinced of this now.

I'm seeing major foreshadowing going on with Elu and what will be the outcome of the spoiler movie plot.

Ok, so something i've noticed with Eliott this season is that he's kinda in his own world. Yes i know they are showing his individualism and i'm happy to see that because i think he's a beautiful and complex character and deserves so much insight.

But certain things i've noticed in scenes and certain things i've heard Eliott say is starting to make me think we are heading for Eliott having his own rock bottom moment. I'm just gonna list some things that seem to connect for me.

• The hiding and lying really been highlighted with Eliott's arc. The almost casual way too. Like it's a habit and second nature. He's done it so much in my eyes to hide his true self that it's basically become a mask now. How he justifies these things to others and how oblivious he really is to how others see it too. How outside perspective is different from Eliott perspective e g. Lola calling him out with the urbex hiding, Lucas's anger when he was blindsided with Lola being in their home.

•For the first time ever with Lucas we see him at Daphne's party monitoring himself in regards to Eliott's mental illness. He's not monitoring Eliott and i have a theory on that. Lucas is so afraid of being a Lucille that he's passive with things that may be seen as controlling. So instead he tries to be cautious and make the situation about it being Lucas's choice and not a choice made for Eliott. I don't think it's an accident at all that Arthur walks up to Lucas and Eliott and wants to share a joint and Lucas who is cuddling Eliott and playing with his hair brushes Arthur off without saying what the audience is picking up on. For the first time ever we see Eliott chafe under this and we are aware that Eliott knows what Lucas is doing. Eliott tells him in an almost biting the tongue way to go and it's ok. And Lucas says these very telling words "Can i?" And Eliott says "yes Lucas" Lucas then happy kisses Eliott on the cheek and goes off with Arthur.

• The argument Lola wakes up to where we see that Eliott impulsive, forgot to let Lucas know what he was coming home to. Now i must say i don't blame Eliott for not doing this as the night was intense. And he'd just saved a girl from attempted rape and was prob up for hours with her and got very little sleep himself. But i also see Lucas's point too. Lucas is passionate. It's not out of character. It is part of who Lucas is. That is why he is a hedgehog. He is simply prickly and reactive. We have seen this throughout the show. He initially acts in a defensive way (hedgehog quills) and then he calms and deals. But again we see Lucas thrown off guard with Eliott and his impulsivity. So they are yelling and then Lucas says "she has problems" and Eliott tells him he has problems too, and Eliott acts offended that Lucas is being judgmental. And again it's a trait with Lucas too, and highlights again the group dynamics and the reaction to outsiders. Lucas accepts Eliott's illness but found it hard to accept his mothers. His love for Eliott changed his perceptive though as we see in S3. Lucas still shows that he has prejudices. He has made comments that are ignorant and unfair throughout the show e.g. mental illness, LGBTQ+, ableism with Arthur, Panphobia stereotypes etc. He just did it again with Lola. Like i said before, i play no favourites i see these characters as complex and when they're messy or flawed they are more interesting to me. So i have no issues when they F up. They're young, insecure, and it feels true to life. But yeah i notice with Lucas (again highlighting insulation in the group v isolation in outsiders) that Lucas has a moral view. If i care and love you i will accept you warts and all. If you are unknown and alien my quills are ready to go. And this is a direct contrast to Eliott who comes in and spreads his arms ready to hug the world. Even adopts furry animals. 😍

Then again something is said that shows how Lucas views his position with Eliott and his mental health. Eliott gives a hypothetical and says to lucas if he were in trouble Lucas would want him to be helped and safe, and Lucas says back. Yeah, but Lucas himself should be that person that should handle it. Now i don't blame Lucas. He loves Eliott so much and he wants him safe but i got subtle control out of that comment and an implication that Eliott can't handle himself. And we see the direct contrast the night before when Eliott, who the last time we saw in that hoodie with the hood raised, he was at his worst and crying in La Petite Ceinture needing rescue. But now he's the one that finds his power and rescues someone else. That he is capable, individual and has 2 feet.

•The mental illness talk with Lola and us learning more of Eliott's past. I loved this because we again see Eliott speak for himself. We get the much begged for past history of Eliott and his struggles. And he gets to impart wisdom and help someone else. That there is power in this friendship with Lola. For Eliott he not only sees the mistakes of his past he can rectify but he can be strong and guide someone out of the darkness he once found himself in. I find that incredibly beautiful and amazing character insight. But again it highlights how oblivious Eliott is to his actions on the one he loves most. His Lucas. Like i could write a huge ass post on Eliott alone and why he does the things he does, but i may get kicked off the tag if i do. 😄 but 2 words come to mind with Eliott and his love with Lucas.

FEAR: The fear of the past repeating and control happening AND the fear of being real and true because it's too much and you are a burden. And it all being rooted in his mental illness.

"i don't know how to control it and it is killing me"

Eliott tells Lola that his bipolar episodes can be quite violent. That there are funny ones (choc labrador thievery) and very sad ones (3 time attempt to take your life) like i knew his past was dark. (anyone that creates a refuge to release in and cry like you're still hiding, even from yourself and uses that as a coping mechanism?) Something horrible must have happened for you to resort to that.

And i've always maintained that Eliott is one of the darkest Even's, and France have not romanticised the portrayal of his mental illness in any way shape or form. He has snapped at lucas during his crash , had episodes where lucas can only watch him helplessly and love him regardless, his insta journal has been quite heartbreaking with his mental/emotional state, he sometimes won't take his meds, he'll hide his bipolar out of fear and run, he has his personal refuge, he's tried to take his life, he needs to get away and breathe, and he still has suicide thoughts even though he has Lucas. You have got to applaud the show with how they've handled Eliott and his illness. It's very real, and you may love someone immensely but depression doesn't care what they mean to you. They will be by your side but they can't fix you and love your mind to better health. You're still gonna have negative thoughts, you're still gonna slip and regress but having the one you love hold your hand makes it easier to navigate those scary moments. 👏

But through this something dawned on me. Eliott is sabotaging his relationship in his pursuit not to. And i gotta say i find that so sad. He's creating this love bubble, actually they both are, and nothing can penetrate the love bubble. That means fears and insecurities stay outside. He's lying and hiding to protect himself, protect Lucas from himself and keep Lucas from leaving him. Lucas is too but that essay is for another time. 😄 and he says to Lola that to love someone is to accept them even with their flaws. But he's lying to Lola too because he won't let Lucas see his flaws because it means Lucas leaves. 😭 we saw Eliott once open up to Lucas in S3 Lundi and the way Maxence played that scene was beautiful, because you see just how heavy being mentally ill is on Eliott. That he believes he'll just ruin everything around him

"things will change, i don't want them to but they will and it'll be because of me"

He can't keep eye contact with Lucas and his entire demeanour is one of wobbly defeat. You have never seen Eliott more vulnerable in this moment. His shame, embarassment, and self loathing is oozing out of his pores. He doesn't even want Lucas to have to deal with it, and his expectation is that the relationship ends here. And to add to that, he shows just how much he loves Lucas by saying how he can't bear to see him hurt or in any kind of pain. Lucas fights for them and Eliott has hope. But we realise that things don't just change overnight, days, months etc. Eliott still has demons inside him that tell him hurtful and toxic things that all people who suffer with mental illness go through. And when Lucas tells him he loves him there's still a voice in Eliott that says " for how long" and "you won't when you see who i am" i'm not exaggerating here. I deal with mental illness and it destroys your self worth. It is a daily fight and you kinda can see yourself as an alien in the world. It really has the power to twist your perception of the world in the ugliest way. FYI and TMI but when i had a severe anxiety episode that had crept up over years of denial and added to a huge life stressor. It lasted weeks before i accepted i needed help. I used to do what Eliott would do, and when it was too much i would up and leave, go to a nearby park and sit on the bench alone and sad. One time i looked up at the clouds and instead of seeing the beauty of nature, i saw mockery. I actually saw clouds laughing at me. 😄 no it wasn't delusions. It was simply a twisted perception of the world where there was self loathing, failure, and the feeling of powerlessness. I don't know why i included this, sorry for the discomfort. ☺️

But back to Eliott. Lola asks if things will be ok with him and Lucas. Eliott is like yeah and just throws out:

"He's worried about me, i have bipolar disorder, do you know what that is?"

Anyone else pick up on the emphasis Eliott does there in his relationship with Lucas. Brings it back to the mental illness and the oblivious nature of other things, like miss-communication and hiding things. Like Eliott's world in this relationship is "I have bipolar disorder" like that's a huge focus for Eliott.

Then they are comparing loves. Eliott telling Lola that "And i have Lucas, I can't lose this" we are actually hearing this from his mouth, and again, the reinforcement of the root of Eliott's insecurities. I can't lose Lucas. He has made my life better and makes the bad stuff not so overwhelming and scary AKA i'm afraid he will leave. So i will use my power to stop that from happening. She's sad and tells Eliott she had a Lucas (Maya) but lost her. Eliott tells her to find her Lucas and if she loves her she'll accept her. Which is obviously going to happen with Maya and Lola. She'll tell her the past which is connected to Lola's addict issues. And like Lucas, Maya's love for Lola will help her to overcome her pain and move forward, and Lola to find her light and not be so scared of her darkness.

• Every single time Eliott is asked by someone about him keeping things from Lucas. His answer is the obsessive "i want to protect him and i don't want to stress him or worry him" We saw it with Imane in S4 and we saw it with Lola recently. We add on the inner insecurities with "It'll be too much and he won't stay" and here's Eliott folks. 😔 We know he has an arc this season. Max said Eliott has a beautiful emotional journey, and that he helps the main with his past.

But one thing that every person who goes through emotional turmoil AKA Skam season main journey. It's called the moment that is the wake up call for the character. The moment that you are at your lowest and you must face yourself. Eliott can't be main as he's blocked but we are seeing that he has a lot of focus. So far he's in the show a lot and very active too.

We know that Elu's seasons long issues are being addressed finally. We know that Eliott himself will be addressed. What's one thing that has remained the same in Eliott and Lucas's love? The hiding things from Eliott and Lucas forgiving him AKA Lucas has never left. What's one thing that could be a very scary wakeup call for Eliott? Lucas leaving.

Now i don't think those scenes are throwaway at all, and i don't think the dialogue is either. They've slowly set this arc up since S5 for Eliott and the relationship with Lucas. Little stressors that just watching S5 you play off but now paired with S6 become very serious. I've mentioned some of them in other posts. We know the spoiler movie is coming. We know how lucas reacts to Eliott being honest and we can almost say how Eliott reacts = impulsivity and rebellion.

But the fallout? And i do think the story is going there guys. Which i'm fine with tbh, along with the conflict and the relationship. Saying it's just drama or out of the blue would be a humongous lie. This has been building for seasons and it is incredibly consistent with the relationship and the characters. Now i'd agree with fans if Eliott and Lucas were eternally blissful and then suddenly boom issues. But that hasn't happened at all. It's been tiny little stressors building up to the eventual crack, or my analogy = the bubble eventually pops.

So the movie happens, and for Lucas it's the straw that breaks the camel's back. His breaking point for him to end the relationship or leave Eliott. And it's Eliott's breaking point. We have his words, we didn't need them, let's be real, but we have them. He needs Lucas and everyone knows how much he loves him. Like that is not even debatable. Eliott is deeply in love with his hedgehog. But it's the wake up call to the relationship, and it's the wakeup call to Eliott. He can't continue this self sabotage and he has to face everything. But guys, Eliott really emphasised his need for Lucas. That ultimately tells me he's put his mental health on this need too. I think Eliott is going to be triggered and spiral. Like i'm sure of it now. And i think that is when S3 main Lucas will have his talk with S6 main Lola. I think she's gonna bring them back together. And i think that's what Flavie meant in her live "she helps him too"

I just wanna say i'm not gonna be in the tag saying Eliott or Lucas is a villain. I think it's sad when stress happens we pit the characters against each other. I wish the fanbase could be compassionate and empathetic. And you may not agree with what a character does but you accept that these characters are not black and white and they make mistakes, mess up and do stupid shit. It's the journey that we all go on and as other fans have said, growth is not linear.

Finally, god these posts are getting longer. I've lurked for so long and now my thoughts are just piling up. 😄 but yeah, i noticed some fans say that this Lucas and Eliott stuff should be over, they're together a year so should have dealt with their issues. Like i just have to say to that what?? Like relationship issues happen. You don't just fix them and bam happily ever after. The same issues can crop up throughout a relationship, because you are not just dealing with you as a unit but you are dealing with you as an individual too. You have the baggage the relationship causes and your carry on's that you yourself bring to the relationship. Your own personal issues and insecurities can continue to crop up causing problems.

Stressors can expose cracks, and that is what is happening. Denying and placing to the side issues like you'll deal with them later but you never do because you're afraid of the response thinking The relationship fails or you lose each other. Like think of anxiety. It's the ultimate result of not dealing with life issues. They build and build throughout life untill they become a disorder. These 2 haven't dealt with them untill now, and that's why they are coming to a head finally. And from a show perspective the format really limits them. Focusing on one main can't explore others and their issues, because the main has to be there. The only way you can do that is breaking format and Skam is quite strict with their narrative. What's happening with Eliott is a case of 'this is the best we can do' he's blocked but they want to give this beloved character the insight the fanbase has been begging for. They don't usually do this. Usually it's the main and his/her ensemble but this time it's the main + 2 part mains in Daphne and Eliott. The ensemble is background this season. And Eliott has an arc since S3 so of course they are going to bring these seasons built relationship issues to the surface and address them. They are wrapping up the old generation and handing over to new now. All these threads are being dealt with.

So what i said about stressors exposing cracks. Well here's a stressor? moving in together. Before Eliott lived alone, with his parents checking in frequently (prob his bipolar disorder) but he could breathe and be, and hide and be alone whenever he wanted. Now he's living with Lucas. And they love each other but there are teething problems. We saw them laid beautifully in S5, and being together only a year is really nothing. Most of that would be a honeymoon period, let's be honest here. And they have such an intense and emotional love. Like they are young (17/18 and 19/20) and have found the life partner they want. Just think about that, and the issues of that responsibility as well. In reality you don't find your life partner at that age. You really don't.

And people mess up. They make mistakes and they grow but it's not a full stop there. You make other mistakes and you mess up. And environmental triggers can happen that can make more mistakes happen, and can even make you regress. You fight in life. You don't sail through it. Does anybody? So yeah, oh sweet the lovebirds moved in together but moving in together has also highlighted issues not dealt with. Couples face tests. And importantly that "minute par minute" scene is now being seen in action. That means the bad times as well as the good. This relationship started in so much fear for both and i'm sorry that level of fear doesn't just poof away. We are seeing that.

Now i'm done. I really don't blame anyone if they don't read this. Even i'm ashamed at the length. But will i still post it? Yep 😄💜

#skam france #eliott demaury #skamfr #lucas lallemant #lola lecomte

[alterofnaught]

What do you think of Kokichi's lies? Do you think he's a compulsive liar or that he just lies for fun/to get what he wants?

Apologies for being extremely long winded about this answer but I have a BS in psych so I love psychoanalyzing characters and my thoughts are kind of complicated on it. Mostly just because I think just calling it compulsive lying often causes people to ignore the purpose and intent behind Kokichi’s actions (which a lot of people do and act like you can’t discern any of his motivations because he’s a “liar” which I disagree with). And I think it also insinuates he only lies because of that and ignore the many reasons he does tell lies. But I do think there's an element of both to it if that makes sense. 

While it's pretty much impossible to tell completely in just the main game canon if his lying is an actual psychological issue solely because there is a genuine reason for lying (like abuse victims and cheaters are not compulsive liars they just end up telling lots of lies because of the situation and you could say that is the case in a killing game as well). But bonus modes pretty much confirm that lying is absolutely part of his personality even without the pressure of the killing game. But the fact he both lies for fun and lies for a reason are what make it hard to pin down. Nor is it something that is readily agreed on as a term at all since it's not in the DSM-V and there are varying definitions for what qualifies as compulsive lying at all. Compulsive lying is also a trait of lots of other disorders but those you literally could not diagnose him with based on how little we get in my opinion (for example ADHD which is a popular headcanon and I think it makes the most sense out of any major diagnosis associated with lying but still not canon in anyway just a pretty good headcanon) . 

Lots of the lies he tells are for a reason which some psychologists say compulsive liars don’t usually have. Compulsive liars lie out of habit. Which he probably does to an extent but there is purpose to most of them. Especially since a majority of his lies are about his talent and organization or the game itself. Which have definite purpose to them. Like the conversation he has during introductions with Shuichi always makes me laugh actually because like… it’s a secret organization of course no one else should know about it and why on earth would a leader of it just tell you about it. Lying about a secret organization just makes sense, that’s kind of the whole point of it being a secret. And while he does tell more outright lies, he isn’t the only one who plays up their talent or lies during his introduction. Being grandiose in a situation where you are with 15 other Ultimates that are also larger than life and have a talent that is supposed to be so incredible the country searched you out for it… really doesn’t necessarily mean he’s trying to play himself up for no reason. It’s a pretty impressive sounding Ultimate Talent for what he really is so it makes sense to lie about honestly. And his exaggerations about his organization seem to reflect more on his childish personality more than some need to sound self-important (since he never seems to be seriously insulted at all when he gets questioned on the matter) as well as him just keeping DICE a secret since it's supposed to be one. Even in UTDP him lying about his organization makes complete sense to me (and some of his Salmon Mode preferred answers actually make it seem like he thinks his lies about DICE are ridiculous/stupid which is why I think he makes it sounds over the top and evil so people just write it off and ignore it which is a solid strategy tbh). 

His lies in trials are usually setups to get others to slip up or drag the discussion to where he wants it to be. It’s excessive but just seems to be more of a comfort zone where he knows how to navigate things like that and at the same time can hide himself as someone who knows too much. Which again there is definite purpose and intent in those lies. 

Purely compulsive liars are not necessarily known for being manipulative or cunning and Kokichi can be both of those things. He does lie for gain and to fulfill his plans which makes it seem to be a bit more than just a compulsive habit. Manipulative behavior is more associated with what some categorize as pathological liars (or no difference but again this isn’t a set standard across psychiatry at all). Pathological liars lie for gain but often have very little empathy. That doesn’t fit Kokichi to me because despite his flaws he is incredibly empathetic. Which is something I’ve definitely seen people not understand about him because people confuse kindness for empathy. Kokichi can be a massive asshole which people equate to not caring about others feelings. Which is sometimes true. But empathy is more about being able to understand other people's feelings which Kokichi actually has a very strong talent for. He recognizes the feelings in his classmates quite well even if he doesn’t approach them kindly. He can tell how Kaede feels, he recognizes Kirumi’s desperation, calls out Himiko, and in that conversation with Miu he fully understands her feelings of wanting to escape. It’s part of what allows him to have Gonta and Kaito go along with his plans, he understands their emotions and can easily tell the way they will act based on them. He isn’t mean because he doesn’t care about others emotions as much as he is mean to get certain emotional reactions (that typically benefit him but also sometimes others or the group as a whole). 

Pathological liars also tend to hate the truth and hate being called out on their lies or just straight up believe their own lies. He also does not seem to hate the truth more just recognizes the truth is not always a good thing. There is no denying he respects the truth since in every trial he absolutely cares they get the right answer (minus the 5th of course). He also uses the truth as a weapon just as much as his lies at times. Like when he pointed out Kaede pushing the group too far or Himiko’s attitude to Tenko. Saying the harsh truths that other people are afraid of saying are just as much part of his arsenal as lies. The comic anthology isn’t canon necessarily but like I did find it interesting that when they were all trying to trick the Monokubs that they had to try and physically stop Kokichi from telling Monotaro (I think) that he was lying. So that definitely makes his lying a bit unique in that he seems to have no problem in calling himself out on lies. Which he does almost constantly in canon and Salmon Mode as well. He is incredibly nonchalant about being called out on lying from others as well. I also don’t think he fully believes his own lies even the one about enjoying himself in the killing game. 

In the bonus modes he lies for fun and because it gets him reactions he wants (it’s not really for personal gain or manipulation in Salmon Mode or UTDP). It still seems very purposeful to me and something he enjoys doing (the line about how he likes lying more when hanging with Shuichi for example or how his conversation with Celestia in UTDP makes it pretty clear he sees lying as a fun game). He hates being bored and loves outwitting people and just playing around to see peoples reactions in general and lies are the perfect tool for that. 

But there are some things I think point to it being a psychological issue still. His line to Kaito before he died about how he had to lie to make it through the game really makes me feel like there is more to it than just him messing around. It's definitely not just a tool for him to use others but one he uses as a coping mechanism for himself. And Keebo’s conversation with him in UTDP about how his lies keep people at a distance adds credence to the idea that he does use his lies to shield himself from other people in any kind of situation. So I also think it isn’t just for fun or to get what he wants but for his own benefit as well. But it’s not something he feels he needs to change as we can see in his Harmonious Heart answers or even his spiel about lying in the Ch4 trial- he sees it as a part of him. 

While he doesn’t ever get much of a detailed backstory in canon. He does have that line to Kaito about how they have very different backgrounds which I feel heavily implies that whatever his background was was lying made it easier. I don’t necessarily think he had a “sad traumatic backstory that explains away his shitty behavior” I do think it's at least implied he grew up in an environment where lying was beneficial. And Danganronpa making such a deliberate reference to a TV show about orphans with a clown motif with DICE makes it seem like him being an orphan is hardly a large leap. He also jokes that he wouldn’t be missed a few times which again is nothing definitive but hints that he doesn’t necessarily have a background of super normal/healthy relationships (DICE is also insinuated to be essentially a found family for him which isn’t a typical situation for most people). 

So I guess part of the reason I’m reluctant to just call it compulsive is because that insinuates it's uncontrollable and I don’t know if there is evidence that he simply cannot handle things any other way. His harmonious heart says he could but doesn’t want to. But there is definitely enough there I think to say that it absolutely is a defense/coping mechanism that he uses to his advantage in addition to just enjoying lying because it's a fun game to him. But also he says he hates liars and lies so often it makes me feel like he recognizes lying can absolutely be a bad thing and that he is self-aware. 

So my TLDR answer is kind of both? Like he definitely lies a lot of the time for his own gain and childish enjoyment of it but also uses them to hide his true self and intentions as well as shelter his own emotions. And it’s not necessarily the healthiest thing for him or people around him so I don’t think it should be written off as a non-issue at all. But the term compulsive liar and how it's typically defined doesn’t really cover his super complicated relationship with lies for me. Because in the end he was written to be “the embodiment of a lie” so it makes sense his lies have multiple and complicated reasonings behind them. I mostly shy away from calling it compulsive because of the insinuations that it is “out-of control” and I don’t necessarily think that's the case. Compulsive lying is just too loaded of a term without a clear agreed upon definition for me to like using (even though I don’t necessarily think its wrong to say it could be classified as such). I personally feel like calling it a coping strategy that can be maladaptive fits better. I don’t think his lying is always inherently a bad thing but there is no denying its not the best thing either. He does it because he both wants to and needs to and feels justified in it as well which is why I wouldn’t categorize it as something he has no control over. (End of excessive rambling because I could go on about how blurry the line is between a behavoir like lying being “normal” and harmful because that is a whole other thing I could go on about)

#lamekit #kokichi ouma #this is insanely long but it is something i have thought about a lot honestly #mythoughts!

[misterbitches]

I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #i told sunset about you #a thot #tharntype #lovely writer #bl fandom #idk #lol #long

[justsassysworld]

Five Demons and a Baby Part 3

Five Demons Part 3

Word Count: 1683

The Conglomerate x Fem!reader

Shuddering in nothing like fear, you allow them to show you back to your seat. Instead of letting you sit on your own, Gio waits for Scarabee to settle back in before handing you off. This time he pulls you onto his lap instead of right next to him.

Zhuk sits next to the two of you as the rest choose their spots. Once everyone's settled, Bee turns you to face the group, your back to his chest, your ass cradling his dick.

With all their attention turned to you, you figure they are waiting for you to say something but that is so not happening.

"Shy, chaton," Scarabee whispers against your ear, obviously enjoying your squirming. "But you were so vocal a minute ago."

You turn your head to glare at him, and he just laughs, with some of the others joining in. Pouting, you spin back and let out a sign. "I'm sorry for the snark, but you guys need to understand, I'm a bit of a sardonic asshole. It's not in my nature to play doormat, and it's not a role I'll ever willingly take."

Taking your hand, Zhuk draws your attention. "That is not our intention, zaika. No self respecting man wants a doormat, but we are all dominant men in our own rights, and we will not allow one of our own to come to harm."

"But-"

Gio interrupts you, "Make no mistake, topolina, you are ours, if not as a partner, as a member of the family."

A special warmth spreads through your chest. These men are trusting you, a person they don't know, a person who could be lying about the paternity, but they never doubted you. You were truly starting to believe the rumors of their evilness was drastically exaggerated.

"Thank you for saying that," you say after taking a moment to compose yourself. "What exactly do you mean by wooing? Will they just be dates? Sex? I need to know what to expect."

Chuckles surround you, Scarabee's rumbling against your backs; it would seem they weren't expecting such a blunt question.

"Oh gatita," Bajo sighs, "I for one must say how much I love your forthright nature."

Scarabee lets out a growl and you're confused until he bites out, "She is not your gatita, she is my chaton, pick something else."

"Seriously, amigo?" the Spaniard complains. "What can I call her then?"

"Not mouse.

"Not bunny." Zhuk and Gio say at the same time, making you roll your eyes.

"Fine, is paloma acceptable?" he asks, mainly to Cia.

"Don't fret, a chroi," Cia replies, sending him a wink. "I haven't yet thought of my name for our bonnie less."

Part of you wonders why they can't just call you by your name, while another loves how you feel when they use those pet names. Still, you need answers.

"Now that we have that sorted, could you please answer my question?" you cajole.

"Which one? About the dates or about sex?" Cia smirks. "If ya need a lesson in sex, I'll gladly volunteer, but considering your condition, I'm not sure how much I can teach ya." Yours are not the only eyes rolling.

Before any more jokes can be bandied around, Zhuk draws your attention, "Zaika, we are trying to woo you, you will decide what will happen, sex or no sex."

"I know what I'm voting for," Bajo murmurs, sending you a heated look.

"Now, if that's settled," Gio draws your attention by standing. "I need to get her vitamins ready, she needs to eat, and someone needs to help get her settled."

Seeming to agree, the others stand, even Scarabee, with you in his arms. You squirm to be let down, but he pays you no mind.

Gio quickly exits, but none of the others make a move, not even the man who still isn't letting you down. They start walking and speaking in some language you don't understand. Giving up on escape, you content yourself with mapping out this place, if the need for escape should arise. Of course all the damn doors are closed so you can't actually take stock of the rooms around you.

Huffing out a disappointed sigh, you pout from the cradle of the Cajuns arms, wanting to get where ever you're going so you can get some control back, or at least the option of moving on your own.

Finally you enter a new space, but it's not what you were expecting. It's far from the simple sleeping space you'd envisioned. The scene from the second Princess Diaries movie pops into your mind. Quite honestly, this suite is bigger than your apartment. Your mind is having issues comprehending how the luxury of the space is mixing with your stuff. Simple earth tones counter rich woods, while your more bright colors manage to blend without clashing too much.

Bajo and Cia make their way to the kitchenette, while Zhuk peruses your humble library, and Scarabee settles onto an over stuffed sofa, you in his lap. You watch how the others move about the space, trying to learn what you can about the mixed group without asking any questions.

The pair in the kitchen seem to dance as they work, letting you see their love; they flirt with their smiles, call each other ridiculously cute nick names, and even kiss once or twice. You catch the burly Russian casting longing glances their way, though you can't tell if it's because he wants to join them, or he just wants what they have. When he's not peering at them, he's checking out your small movie collection, obviously caught of guard by some of your selections.

"Well, cher," Scarabee suddenly whispers against your ear. "Ya learnin' anythin'?"

Biting your lip at getting caught, you turn your head slightly to see him. "Maybe, a little."

"Ah, don't leave me in suspense, tell me, mon petite chaton," he demands against your flesh.

"Well," you hedge, wanting time to fight your body's reaction, not that it'll do you any good with their sense of smell. "While you all seem very close, may haps even sexually, Cia and Bajo seem extra close. I'd even say they look like they're in love. I would say Zhuk is the quietest of you, and while some might think it would suggest a more submissive nature, I get the feeling he has more dominance in his little finger then a lot of doms have in their whole body, there's also a loneliness in his eyes. You and Gio seem to be cut from the same cloth, but he's got something hiding beneath the surface. I can't tell what's different between the two of you, but I think you are a bit extroverted to his introvert."

Looking into his eyes, you add, "Your power seems to surround you, where his comes from inside."

His gaze bores into you for a good while and you realize you don't hear anything coming from the rest of the room. Checking the others, you see they are also staring at you.

"What?" you ask, turning back to Scarabee. His palm cups your cheek as he stares at you in wonder.

"Cher, you surprise me," he whispers, drawing you in for a quick kiss.

"How?" Zhuk asks from behind you. You look behind you and see all of them, even Gio, who is standing in the doorway, watching you in shocked amazement.

Fear has you frozen. There is absolutely no way you're going to tell them the truth, that you've read so much fan fiction you've gotten really good at reading people. Nope, that's not something you'll ever admit to. "Uhh," you stall. "I read."

Before they can question you further, you ask, "What's for lunch?"

You get some glares, but Cia is smiling while he brings you a bowl of simple chicken noodle soup. Scarabee carries you to the table, setting you in one of the chairs. Gio hands you a couple of pills as Bajo sets down a glass of water. They each take a seat as the rest of the food is served.

Looking at the pills, you ask," Gio, are these prescription prenatals?"

"Yes, topolina," he replies, taking a bite of his soup.

"How?" confusion stains your voice. "There's no way you could get a prescription this fast."

He flashes you a cocky grin. "Is that so?"

You're about to snap back when strong hands trail down your arms, moving you hands to the table. "Please, a chuid, eat."

Biting your lip, you look up to see Cia staring down at you, concern and kindness swimming in the depths of his eyes. Not wanting to disappoint him, you quickly take a bite of the surprisingly delicious soup before swallowing your pills. Smiling, he moves to his own seat and starts eating.

The sounds of people eating fills the space until Zhuk says, "So, zaika, tell us all about you."

You do just that with a smile, answering every question they send your way. Favorite color, book, movie, and television show, your childhood, family and friends, and all of your dreams, you answer it all, but get very little info in return.

Finally tiring of the sound of your own voice, you ask, "Haven't you heard enough? When do I get to learn more abut you?"

Chuckles are your answer. "My dear, Zaika, we will each tell you all you wish to know, and more, in turn. I will be taking my day with you tomorrow, Gio will follow me, Bajo and Cia will share their days, and Bee will finish us up. Will this work for you?"

Mulling it over, you smile and nod. "Yes, I think I can live with that."

Various pleased looks answer, before the questions begin again. You're tempted to roll your eyes, but there is something so damn sweet about the curiosity of these mysterious men. As much as you don't understand how they can still have things to ask, you guess you'll have just as many when your turn rolls around.

@doyahearthatsound-after-dark,  @1-rosewiththorns

#beetlejuice mafia au #the conglomerate #the conglomerate x reader #five demons #sassy writes #zhuk #scarafaggio #scarabee #escarabajo #ciarog

[a-totally-creative-username]

Are you kitten me?

Patton finds a tiny, black kitten in an alleyway during a rainstorm. He just can’t let that poor thing suffer and ends up taking it home. His roommates aren’t really happy about the new, temporary, addition towards the household, even if Patton’s allergies have yet to act up and they all start to fall in love with it.

Words: 2127

Ships: None

Patton is in the middle of walking home from work when he hears it. A small, sad noise that he manages to just about hear over the pouring rain. He immediately stops and listens for it to come again. He waits for a few seconds and is just about to give up and write it up to his imagination when he hears it again. He locates the noise quickly and starts running towards that direction without hesitation.

Once arrived, in a very small and dirty alley way, he looks around wildly. It doesn’t take him long to find the source of the sound. A small, adorable, very wet and sad looking kitten that is trying to hide from the rain under a nearly soaked through cardboard box.

Patton feels his heart melt while observing the tiny cat. It doesn’t seem to have noticed him yet as it is too pre occupied from trying to stay dry. It doesn’t succeed and soon the cardboard is soaked through and leaves the cat in a wet puddle.

Patton just can’t watch another second of those sounds and takes off his jacket, holds it over his head and starts nearing the cat. As soon as it notices him it starts trying to look intimidating and hissing at him.

It accomplishes nothing except make Patton fall even more in love with it. Mentally he is already going through an adoption and naming process for his new friend when he finally starts talking to it.

“Hey there kitty! Sorry to scare you like this but you seemed for me a little wet on your luck! Would you let me dry you up a little and help you get back onto your feet?”

The kitty stares at him for a few seconds as if trying to figure out how genuine he is before meowing loudly and slowly walking towards him and underneath the dry jacket.

Patton is just star stuck over the fact that he managed to get this cat to come with him and can’t even attempt to stop smiling as he takes the kitten, that he calls Anx according to it’s collar (well actually Anxiety but he refuses to call this baby a disorder), towards his home. The fact that Anx started cuddling and rubbing at him almost immediately doesn’t help his growing love towards it.

Now he can do nothing but hope that his roommates won’t mind a new addition!

--------------------------

Alright, so they did mind the new addition a little bit. Or maybe more than a little bit. Patton doesn’t even get their issue! Anx is adorable and didn’t do anything but be the cutest cat he ever met anyway! He, Logan explained that it is a male cat, flipping fell asleep in the middle of the argument and started softly snoring into Roman’s coffee!

Even Logan had to take a second to regain himself from this beautiful sight before being able to argue against them again. Roman had issues with the situation but it was cute! He kept claiming that the cat had actually drunk from his mug until he noticed that he was caught and acted as if he fell asleep, but that’s just ridiculous!

There is no real reason to not allow his new friend to stay! Patton agreed to cover the costs, his allergies doesn’t seem to react towards Anx (and isn’t that just a sign from the universe to keep the little puffball?!) and they have more than enough space left in their apartment for the new roommate.

In the end it’s Patton’s and Anx’s combined puppy dog eyes and adorableness that gets them the win.

--------------------------

It’s been three days. Three days off looking after Patton’s new companion that he brought surprisingly into their lives and that he, as the most mature person, had to look after for that same amount of time.

Logan, surprisingly, doesn’t dislike the cat. Anx is an interesting and thoughtful addiction to their lives. Yes, he meows loudly when ignored and in need of attention, a way out of the apartment or food, but otherwise he remains mostly quiet and generally just seems to hover in the general direction of whomever he feels in need of attention of.

He does get closer and sometimes tries to climb into a person’s lap, but leaves as soon as he gets a negative reaction as if he could understand them. At least, that is the normal reaction towards avoidance of his affections.

His momentary actions stand in direct contrast towards his past behavior and are nearly enough to get Logan to reevaluate his results. Because the cat is laying right on top of his laptop and his research papers.

Logan left for exactly twelve minutes and thirty-nine seconds to help Patton with a spider related issue before coming back into his room. Before he left, he made sure that everything was at its place on top of his desk. Now that he returned the objects still remain in place, but with the addition of a cat on top of it.

He and Anx stare at each other for several minutes before he breaks it off and moves towards the cat. He tries to get his laptop out from underneath Anx but only gets a hiss in response as well as a half-hearted swipe for his fingers. Curious. Anx had yet to show signs of aggression towards anyone until this moment.

They continue this game for a few more minutes before Logan starts to fell his exhaustion, that naturally comes after over sixty hours of being awake. He can’t seem to stifle a yawn that Anx seems to notice, if his narrowed eyes are anything to go by. He is just about to try working again when he finds himself in his bed and underneath Anx who is curling up on top of him.

His attempts to free himself only earn him a few hisses as well as slight claw marks in warning. Well, it seems like he will remain there for a while. He reaches over and manages to grab his astronomy book. Might as well read a little bit to pass the time. Might as well read aloud for Anx, he has responded positively in the past after all.

Ten minutes later, they are both fast asleep.

--------------------------

“Nothing better to start the day than a nice coffee and a new play to memorize- what the?! You! Patton, come and get your hell beast!”

“What’s the problem Ro? Awww, Anx is sleeping on your script! How adorable! Let me get my camera, this is one for the scrapbook!”

“NO! This is absolutely NOT adorable! You might as well name him Cerberus because I’m as likely to get my script back before he finishes napping as the undead are to escape hades and walk the earth again!”

“Well now you are exaggerating. If you really wanted to you could just lift him up and grab your little script, kiddo. He weighs less than a sack of flour!”

“It doesn’t matter what he weighs as long as he has those daggers that you dare call claws! If he really wanted to he could kill all of us easily, but you would probably call even that cute and let him do as he pleases!”

“Well in that case you should really be clawful around him! At least he only wants that script and not you!”

--------------------------

Roman looks carefully around the apartment. He searched through every room that wasn’t locked in search of his roommates. They of course said that they both would be occupied until well after noon and not back in the shared apartment until dark but one could never be too careful.

After finding no one but the little furball in the living room Roman relaxes and goes into the kitchen to make himself his special sandwich.

He knows of course that neither of his roommates would say anything against him eating his world-famous double meat loathe sandwich, except for Logans remarks that he was going against his died, but they really didn’t need to know about that. So what I he cheated with his died? It’s his body! He can do as he wants!

He sits in the living room and is just about to bite into the deliciousness that he created when the damn cat appears in front of him to stare into his soul and judge his every action like he always does! Or maybe he just wants to beg for meat...

They engage in a fierce staring contest for a few endless seconds before he gives in and sacrifices a few precious scraps.

“Fine, but only this once! It’s not like I like you or anything! This is only so you don’t rat me out to Patton you cat in the hat, understood?!” He stares him into the eyes until he feels judged enough that he feels the need to add something, “Alright, it is also a thank you for preventing me from reading that script in time for auditions. I would NOT have wanted to play that role! I do not know how you knew that the play was that homophobic but you did.”

They fall into a comfortable silence afterwards were they both enjoy their meal until there is nothing left and they can do nothing but lean back and rest. Anx comes to curl up on his lap and he is so satisfied that he completely forgets his dislike for his hairy roommate and starts to scratch him.

Soon he starts pouring his soul out to the little devil and feels the relief from unpacking all his problems onto a safe source.

--------------------------

They are all in the apartment on a lazy Saturday when they hear the knock on the front door. Patton and Logan don’t move from their position with Anx, who is lying on Patton’s lap and getting scratches and attentions from them both, so Roman goes.

He opens the door to a tall, lean man that is dressed as if he just stepped out of a eighteenth century drama in black and yellow. He is just about to ask his intentions when the man begins talking.

“I am incredibly sorry for my intrusion upon your peaceful day off, but I fear you have something that belongs to me.” He doesn’t sound sorry at all and Roman is just about to ask what he means when the man nudges him aside with his shoulder to get inside of his apartment and continues talking, “Or rather, someone.”

He doesn’t stop until he is in front of a very confused Patton with a now hissing Anx underneath his hoodie. The stranger kneels down in front of them and begins talking to the cat of all people.

“I totally don’t know why you are angry with me” a hiss, he pauses and begins nodding knowingly, “You are right, lies have no place here at the moment. My apologies.” Roman and Logan start exchanging looks over the weirdo talking to their cat, Patton continues watching the conversation interested, while Anx comes out of his hiding place enough to stare at the man.

“I am sorry for what happened, I shouldn’t have yelled at you over something so insignificant and I really shouldn’t have sent you out into the pouring rain. You deserve better than that. I overreacted and shouldn’t have let my bad mood out on you.” An indignant meow is to hear from the cat that is now sitting on Patton’s knees. The man just nods as if contemplating the answer.

“Yes, that too. I promise to not do so again and treat you as more of an equal from now on. I already talked with the landlord and you will be written into the lease for the apartment.” The stranger and Anx stare at each other before the former deflates.

“Please come back, these past few weeks have been truly horrendous without you. I am not sure how long I could stand to keep this up. I miss you.” That, surprisingly, seems to do the trick as Anx looks up at Patton and upon receiving a nod, climbs into the stranger’s hat that had been laid out for him to be escorted out of the apartment without further notice.

What?

--------------------------

It is two weeks later that Patton sees the stranger again, followed by a shorter, dark haired man with a familiar collar around his neck.

He catches his gazes and starts smiling and waving at him. The man seems surprised for a moment before starting a shy smile of his own and waving back.

Patton is just happy to know that Anx is happy and healthy. Maybe they will meet again someday in human form and become friends again.

#sanders sides #sanders side fic #my writing #ts virgil #ts patton #ts logan #ts roman #ts janus #fluff #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #Janus sanders

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Blood, tears and sea breeze

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Also I'm sure Elaine Jenkinson was not gay on the series, and that Tracey Childs the actress who portrays her was not gay either, but I got this inspiration for the character and I needed to follow it, I'm sorry in advance if this upset you in any way.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

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Chapter 15: Home

The alarm clock marked 5:30 a.m. and behind the curtains of Elaine Jenkinson the sun still hadn't rise. She was not surprised, since the news of the new case she had been waking up early, and since last night meeting she was more anxious about how to proceed on Jonathan's Norbury murder investigation.

The Chief Superintendent of broadchurch police shake away her concerns and got out of bed, she make herself a cup of tea and took it back to her room while she got ready, careful to not wake up her wife, she loved that woman more than life, but she had many opinions on why she shouldn't bring food to the room.

She reflected once again on how last night events have occurred, trying to feel less as a backstabber, but she was sure Ellie Miller will forgive her. Marry someone who does something different than you for a living she thought, while Martha's calm breath was calling her back to bed.

She always believed that had been the secret on why they had been together for that long, and on why Alec and Miller didn't, she knew the man, and as much as she respected his strengths and capacities, he often let his job got the best of him, and now it may actually became a problem.

This was not like Sandbrook, she was sure, but she was not entirely convinced to gave him the benefit of the doubt again. She adjusted her tie and make sure her hair was on site before finishing her tea cup.

"You better get that back in the kitchen" Martha said softly, opening her beautiful brown eyes, how a strict librarian could have that sweet beautiful look she would never know.

"I was about to do so" Elaine said with a grin. "I have to go early, we have a briefing today and I'm a bit anxious" She could always speak her mind outloud to her, and even when they have completely opposite views on life she would always listen.

"And you are afraid you have to take Hardy out of the case" She pointed out when Elaine kept playing with her tie.

"Is not like he is sleeping with the witness, is just that all this circumstances seem odd, is not like him, and I know Miller defended him, but then is this whole Becca situation" she sited back in bed deflated, begging for her wife to hold her back in, but she was wiser to not doing so, and just gave her the advice she needed.

"Hardy may be the most obnoxious, temperamental and stoic man I have met, but he is professional, I understand your concern about what Becca had to say, but honestly that woman is not exactly a trustworthy source, I think you should listen to him before taking action" Elaine smiled and was about to give her a kiss because god this woman always bring sense to his life "And bring your bloody mug back in the kitchen" she add with a cheeky smile and turn around to sleep some more knowing well what could happen if she didn't, she could make up for it at night.

On the other side of the city, with the morning wind stroking his windows Alec Hardy was putting together every last piece of evidence, they had people on the street making interviews, and the honey trap they put on Mike Bolzano was way over budget so, they might had to defend their need for resources from the Chief Superintendent, although he had confidence that Jenkinson would be reasonable.

"Coffee? Tea? A toast??" Daze said peaking from the partially open door, and he let her come inside.

"I'll have breakfast at the station, are you sure you are okay by yourself?" He said picking his papers and putting the rest of his investigation in a locked drawer.

"Do you mean if I'm okay here with a murder suspect who you totally have a crush on?" She said with a grin that only received an stoic look as a response "Relax, I'm joking, I'll go out to do some shopping for Beth's party, I asume I will see you and Miller there" She said brushing aside the awkward situation.

"Sure, I'll try to be there." He said and was ready to leave avoiding by all means to look at his room.

"Can I bring your prisoner? She says she is friends with the Latimer's."

"I don't know if that's a good idea" He said, and Dasy didn't miss the fact that he didn't gave her a flat no.

"Well I see you later dad, have a great day" She gave him a hug, a weird thing to do from her, but welcomed in the situation, and he exited the house; he couldn't resist giving one last glance back once he was leaving and he catch a friendly waving from Y/N on his livingroom, he almost smiled but he stop himself, like he had been doing this last days since he realized the nature of his feelings for her.

He drove by the station and saw Ellie getting down of Brian's car, and another strange gut feeling make him ... Angry? Jealous? She looked happy next to him, maybe he was mad to himself because she was not smiling like that when she was with him.

"Morning" Chief Elaine said once they were all reunited in the center of the station, after the normative report of the other departments and some advances on some small drug selling business it was his turn to address the officers.

"This is our time line of events so far" He started and pointed to the whiteboard. "Jonathan Norbury was found dead on Sunday, April 21, by his fiance on her beach cottage around 6:30 pm, since she suffers from a mental condition she had a anxiety crisis that lead to her wandering on the street so we were notified, and we discovered the body a couple hours later."

Miller was next to him waiting for his turn to speak thinking about how she would bring the news to him, Sir I'm moving in with my boyfriend also the chief wants you out of the case because you are in love with that woman... No, the Sir was too formal. Dear Alec? No, she was not writing a letter, maybe just the truth.

The chief invited Brian to dinner after they had a nice match of tennis last week and she went with him, she expressed some concerns about Hardy and the case and Miller tried to put her mind at ease, but even she was not entirely convinced that his interests on the case were just professional, and she would be lying if she didn't admit that she felt a tiny bit jealous about the way Alec cared for the teacher.

"On the development of the investigation we uncovered an allegation of sexual assault committed against miss Y/L/N, on the night of April 6th, wich lead to her fiance to break his affair to an unknown woman whose DNA was found in some sex toys and underwear on the victim's house, also this was a pivotal point to exacerbate Y/L/N's mental breakdowns, wich we believe was used by the murder to fabricate incriminating evidence against her"

"So you don't believe the girl did it?" One of the officers asked talking notes on a small notepad.

"We haven't end that line of investigation, but the forensics report indicates that the victim was strangled and it would have required an enormous amount of force to do so, also the fiance was outside with a friend at the time the coroner estimates he died." Miller said, and the fact that evidence supported her innocence calmed her mind about Hardy being naive towards her.

"How come she went out if she had just been raped?" Another officer, and old man asked and she could feel Hardy getting tense and angry behind her, but strangely Harford took the lead before any of them could react.

"The victim was not aware this had happened, she was drugged with Rohypnol, and we had gotten ten new accusations against the BC Dreamland" She said and pinned a couple of the pictures of the new victims at the board. "And the attack was confirmed by the teacher's friend, who add nor she or her fiance wanted to report it to spare her the trouble of going trough this kind of bullshit questions Gordon" She add savagely and the guy only look aside embarrassed.

"We also found matching DNA in the victim's car where the attack happened, and on Y/L/N's engagement ring, which was partially destroyed and left on the victim, it belongs to a male but it has not being identified, and we believe this person who also was captured in a surveillance tape driving the victim's car and picking her at the school on the day the body was found might be the killer" Miller said and showed them the captures from the school system.

They took on some more questions and even though she feel like she had an overwhelming amount of evidence in the end there was not enough to follow any line.

But something about the crushed ring hadn't stop resonating on Harford's mind, and after they were dismissed she picked up her phone and called someone she had promise herself she wouldn't.

"Hey darling, are you ready to give me an interview?" Ollie's overconfident voice said on the phone and she sighed knowing already this was a bad idea.

"Call me darling again and I'm hanging up" she said dryly.

"Fine, fine. What can I do for you, officer Harford?" He said with pretend reverence, wich she didn't prefer to his exaggerate flirting.

"I might have an exclusive for you, but you have to do me a favor" She said and he dropped his act immediately because he knew she meant business.

After the call ended and once again she decline his invitation to dinner she called agent Ramos, it was overtime but this way they might found something.

Meanwhile CS Jenkinson was trying to bring the subject to Hardy as practically as she could, she had seen Miller concerned face when she ask her to leave them alone, and she suspect that she hadn't had the chance to tell him they had dinner the night before.

"I had an interesting conversation with Becca fisher on Wednesday" She started, and he looked surprised. "She said to me that you visited the Trader's with one of the witnesses last Monday"

"I did, but don't make it sound that way" he said understanding where the conversation was heading "I interviewed Y/N..." Damn it Hardy get it together "Miss Y/L/N friend Ashley to know more about her knowledge on the attack and the bar owner, but it was a dead end" he said honestly.

"Also your partner is concerned about how you have handled the living situation of the victim's fiance" She said and for the first time he looked surprised, and maybe a little sad and disappointed.

"Miller said that?" He asked quietly, and she was now sure that she haven't talk to him about last night.

"Not exactly, but we have a chat recently and I think she might be worried about you getting too close to the case, although I don't think she would doubt of your professionalism" She said trying to don't throw her under de bus. "Is there anything I should be worried about Alec?" She used his first name trying to invite him to be open about the situation.

"Absolutely not" he lied maybe too quickly "I mean, Y/N is living in my house to prevent her from getting another attack and if I had any evidence that suggests she is guilty I would follow it, you have no reason to doubt that" he said calmly "Nor Miller" he add with sad eyes again. "Am I getting out of the case?"

"Not yet, and your words are a relief to hear, but I'll be looking into this closely, now you can leave" She said and he stand up, but before he reached the door she add "If it wasn't murder... well I would understand, you wouldn't be the first detective in broadchurch to get personal with a subject" She smiled briefly.

"Really? Have you done something so unprofessional?" He asked turning around.

"Oh definitely, long time ago, not a murder case obviously but I got too close to this woman who reported a vandalism act on her workplace, I was a detective then" She said with a bright smile and even when he may already know the answer he asked anyway.

"Too close? What did you do?"

"I married her" she said and he gave her a side smile before exiting the office.

The rest of the morning was a nightmare, he avoid spending more than five minutes alone with Miller, he wasn't mad, just ashamed that this childish feelings were interfering with his job, and on the other hand he was angry to realize that once she was not around his job was not exactly enjoyable anymore, nor like it was before, but with the Sandbrook case he had a sense of responsibility to fill, and with Danny Latimer he needed to prove to himself he was still capable, now he knew he was capable but even when he had solved every new case for the past five years at the end of the day he was coming back to an empty house, and now with Miller about to start a new life with Brian, and Daze in Uni, he was not sure if his job was going to be enough.

A small ridiculous voice in his head told him that Y/N might still be there when this was over, but he knew how ridiculous and unrealistic that was, but at the same time he desperately want it to be truth.

"Ready sir?" Ellie said, and there was a caution in her voice that he hated, she didn't have to be afraid of his reaction, if anything she was right he was getting to damn close to the case, and he deserved to be told on to the chief.

"Sure, let's go" he said and followed her to his car.

"Alec... I have to tell you...I don't know how to start" she was revolving on the driver seat while they go to the Latimer's.

"Jenkinson told me" He said trying to spare her the trouble "Remember me to never doubt on your threats again" he said with what could almost be a playful tone.

"Well you better stop making me worry about this girls around you then" She said relieved he didn't hate her "I'm joking, I know for sure you wouldn't do anything so monumentally stupid, is just that this case gets weirder at every turn and I don't know, maybe is time for me to take a step back" She said and his worst fear of having to keep doing his work alone materialize in front of him. "But who would avoid Katie to kill you when you are being an arse? No we better finish this one and get back to normal don't you think?" She laughed off the situation but they both knew that when this situation was over their relationship won't be the same.

And as a way of the universe to prove her point the very reason of this separating was standing on Beth Latimer's living room, young and beautiful, and with the smile of a woman who hadn't been married to a psychopath, and didn't have to sneak around from her children to shag her boyfriend.

And she almost started laughing when the realization hit her, she was jealous, like a silly child she was jealous that he might found another woman on his life, murderer or not, it was the idea of him dating anyone what had her in that state, it could be another dumb blond girl from tinder or even an old woman from town, it could be anyone, it was the fact that he would smile and look at someone else the way he had once look at her what upset her, and then she felt guilty since he might have felt the same about Brian, and her selfishness make her sick, he had his right to fall for any woman he wanted, and she was being ridiculous.

And she silently prayed that this girl whose smile now she could see was sad because she lost the love of her life, and that was apart from everyone since they all look at her like an animal in a zoo, was innocent, so she could make him happy the way he deserved, and the way she had simply not being able to do.

Miller disappeared to the backyard to say hi to Mark and Hardy went on to check on Daze, apparently she and Chloe were now good again, and every couple minutes his eyes meet with Y/N, who was laughing next to Paul and Beth, he wanted to say You look beautiful like that, and when the dinner was served and she sited across the table from him he wanted to be the one pulling out the chair for her instead of Paul.

He wanted to be the one that make her laugh, he wanted to be the one who would dance with her in the back yard once the kids went to sleep and the adults were trying to finish all the wine bottles in the house.

Mark gave his wife a loud kiss that was greeted with howls from the guests, and Alec drank the rest of his wine to avoid his mind wandering on how her lips would feel, the sober shade of lipstick on her was stained with the apple juice she had been drinking to avoid alcohol and she looked too adorable.

"Do you need a bucket?" Beth said once he was helping her pick up the dishes while the girls left with Chloe's boyfriend to watch a movie and be apart from the old ones, and Miller left a few moments later.

"What?"

"You are drooling DI Hardy" She said and he felt embarrassed. "It's okay, I won't think less of you, and I really don't think she is guilty, but you should be quick, Paul seem to be very interested on her too" She wink at him and she went on to kiss Mark again, and he understood the wine might be the reason she was so blunt with him. But she was right, Paul was being too polite around her, and he felt the desperate need to do something about it.

"Is getting late isn't it?" He said to her and he took her by her elbow, she was surprised by the authority in his voice but not at all upset.

"Totally, I was telling Paul that I don't think Daze will be back soon, we might as well wait for her at home...I mean at your house detective" She said and his brain stop functioning with that simple little word.

"I'm actually going to stay a little longer to help Mark with some issues on his computer, I can bring her home when she is back" Paul said ruining the moment but saving him from smile like an idiot. "You should go get some rest" he said to her and she nodded.

"Then shall we?" She said to him and he nodded, and he couldn't help to feel a juvenile pride, father Coats might have been dancing around her the whole night but he was the one taking her home.

"Fine, let's go" he said and gave Beth a nod as goodbye, to wich she gave him a naughty wink, indicating that maybe she was as drunk as he thought.

"It was a good cake" She said once they were on his car, she sounded so casual and he felt like they had been doing this forever, and maybe it was that glass of wine, but for the rest of the ride he decided to ignore that part of his brain that used to tell him this wasn't real.

"Really good, really good meal too"

"Is nice that she can laugh now, and she and Mark they look so cute together don't they?" She said with a naive smile. "I just hope after all that wine they don't try to get Lizzie a brother" she said with a chuckle and he joined her distracted.

"Oh that would be too much chaos for them"

"Was Dasy a troublemaker?"

"Oh she was terrible" He said but he smiled remembering fondly her daughter baby years. "Where you?"

"I don't know, people probably said I was an angel, but it was too long ago to know for sure"

"It was not too long ago, you are practically a child" He said and she look delighted.

"34 is not a child in any way"

"It is compared to 47" he said exposing his biggest fear about them.

"I feel like 80 if it helps" she said the conversation was paused while they entered his place.

She tossed her shoes aside and walked inside, he was used to her dancing barefoot on his floor now, however she looked particularly perfect at the moment.

"That would explain your taste in books" he said and sited on his couch. And for all answer she sited impossibly close to him, close enough for him to smell her perfume, a fresh scent, like the ocean but at the same time peaceful and sweet like a flower field on the spring and he desperately wanted to know how something could capture so perfectly someone essence.

"Is basically the same books you like detective" She said and he couldn't respond since all coherent thinking was lost on her eyes and dies on her mouth.

"Then I might be 80" he said and the last fiber of restraint evaporated when her hand reached for his face

"We can be old together" she said and he was praying for him to read her eyes well, she had been through so much and he would never want to force anything on her, but his pleas were answered at the moment "You even have some gray showing here" she said touching his hair.

And parted her lips smiling and he couldn't resist anymore, he pull her close to him and hold on to her like a dead man holds on to life and finally broke the distance between his and her lips.

Tag list:

@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @tf18unipups @dazedkrosupreme @timey-wimey-lovi @coffees-and-constellations @ladyaziraphale @acid-gurkerl

#broadchurch #broadchurch fanfiction #alec hardy fanfiction #alec hardy x reader #alec hardy x ellie miller #alec hardy imagine #alec hardy #ellie miller broadchurch #ellie miller #di hardy #ds miller #katie harford #dc katie harford #dc harford #paul coates #beth latimer #mark latimer

[ayellowcurtain]

(1) Thank you so much for your 8 points answer to my thoughts on Lundi 22:16. I totally agree with everything and would like to add some points. Not only feels the Eliott-Lola-conection rushed and exaggerated because we never saw a propper developpment of this friendship but also Eliott takes Lucas` love for granted and that´s stupid. Eliott offended Lucas by hiding his urbex activities, by putting Lola in his bed after the assault and by letting Daphne wrongly accuse Lucas in Vendredi 23:04.

(2) Certainly nobody is perfect but after one year of relationship Eliott should be more honest, respectful and defending to his precious love of his life. I simply can´t accept his behaviour. I understand that Lola triggered his insecurities in Samedi 1:57 and he is mentally not healthy enough to withstand this but I hate how childish and weak he looked next to this brat Lola. Sorry, I do not want to be hateful I am only so disappointed how this storyline turned out (not to mention that kiss).

Thank you for coming back! I love keeping these conversations going. 

I wouldn’t say he offended Lucas, but it is annoying how he’s keeping these things from Lucas. Not because I want them to know everything about each other, but because I think it’s kinda worrying how Eliott is leaving the house late at night to go do something that he seems to enjoy very much. 

What’s the harm in telling Lucas that? He doesn’t need to take Lucas everywhere with him, but it would EVEN BETTER for them and their relationship if they knew that they could trust each other of telling things and CHOOSING  to still give each other space to live their personal lives. 

That whole part of the plot I don’t get at all. The clip after the assault it’s messy and so unnecessary to me. How they would fight over such thing as the girl being alone on their bed. I can’t believe the writers wrote them fighting like that for such a small thing while they created bigger issues between Eliott and Lucas (the kiss, the secrets, Eliott constantly seeming to agree with anyone else except for Lucas).

Before people start lecturing me: I feel like when you’re teenager, madly in love, living together, sometimes you’ll pick “your person’s” side even if they’re wrong just so they won’t stand there by themselves. 

Even if you don’t agree - even if you two talk about your different points of view later privately - when the “fight” is happening, you could take their sides. 

I feel like Joana, Even, Sander (!!!) would stand their ground in order to protect Cris, Isak and Robbe, even if they were all wrong. 

Nico didn’t really pick a side, he let Marti takes his time and come to his own conclusions and come back. I feel like David would try to argue, to calm down everyone’s nerves, etc. 

I hate that I’m going to use this plot to explain my point, but William and Penetrator!Chris picked a fight with those boys during season 2 to “““protect””” Isak and Jonas. They weren’t close friends, but sometimes you just gotta stay by the side of the ones that are closer to you. 

We know that Eliott is lying to Lucas - or at least was until that night at the club - and we know he feels bad about it or he wouldn’t let Lola’s words get to him, talking about the urbex and the lies. Even Eliott acknowledges that it’s fucked up so I don’t know how people are struggling to understand this is “an issue” between Eliott and Lucas. 

If it doesn’t bother Eliott about the way Lucas is being “wrongly” accused of being too hard with Lola by Daphné, he should at least tell Lola himself that what she did to Eliott that night was wrong. 

[skaylanphear]

Y’all need to calm down about the Season 3 teaser

Honestly, I wasn’t gonna get into this drama because I think it’s kinda silly anyway, but the more I see about it, the more ridiculous it gets.

Y’all are getting WAY too defensive of Marinette in the new teaser. Like, a lot of her character arc has led to this moment. We KNEW Lila was going to come back and that it was likely going to have to do with Adrien. Marinette has displayed jealousy issues on multiple occasions, as well as an avid hatred for liars. This show is also centered around the will they/won’t they aspect of Adrien and Marinette’s relationship, so relationship drama is expected. This episode is likely the catalyst for a lot of those things. 

Really, it was handled rather cleverly in that it backed Marinette into a corner she couldn’t wiggle her way out of, as she typically is able to do. As I have said in previous metas about Marinette’s character, her strength lies in manipulation (“resourcefulness” for those of you who are made uncomfortable by my word choice). Be it as Ladybug or her civilian self, her first step in solving any problem is to manipulate the situation around her until she gets the outcome she desires. As Ladybug, this is her literal super power. As a civilian, it sometimes works in her favor, it sometimes doesn’t. In Reflekta, her first attempts to manipulate the situation failed, so she instead manipulated the photographer with her charms. In Anansi, she played a trick that allowed her to cheat so Nino could win, in Reverser she created a situation so that she could attempt to control the outcome, etc, etc... And while I salute the writers for using this quality as both a good and bad thing--and for displaying so acutely what it’s like to be a woman in a world where you are often disregarded--it also means that putting Marinette in a situation where she can’t manipulate what’s going on is going to frustrate her. Add in the lying and you’ve got a recipe for Marinette being backed into a corner (something that is, arguably, very, very difficult to do). 

If we look at the premise, it actually relies a lot on what has happened already in the series. Only Marinette and Adrien are going to be aware that Lila has a tendency to lie. It was also established that Lila has regular contact with the class via the Season 2 finale, which means that the students have probably talked to her regularly. They do know her a bit and as far as they know, she’s a kind, generous person who leads an exceptional life. So when she finally comes back with some silly story about saving Jagged Stone’s cat and thus has hearing damage, it’s really not that far of a stretch that the other students would believe her given the things they’ve believed in the past. 

So if we look at it subjectively, what we have is a nice girl coming back to school who suffered an injury and has asked nicely that the class accommodate that, only for Marinette--who the class knows will go too far to get close to Adrien, who will lie even if she apologizes later, and who will go to extreme lengths to achieve what she wants--to question this, thus upsetting Lila and making her--Marinette--look like a huge jerk in the process. 

You might say, “well the class should know better.” What should they know, exactly? That even though Marinette is strong and willing to go the extra mile for others, that she can’t also make mistakes and be mean? Max knows she can be, even if she apologizes later. The teachers know she tends to make up excuses to get what she wants. Sabrina probably doesn’t have the best opinion of her. Alix clearly thinks her obsession with Adrien is weird. Nate likely feels embarrassed over what her plan made him think. Like, she tries, she really does, but not everything turns out the way she wants, nor does it always come across as though she’s a saint. Adrien said she was like their everyday Ladybug, not the rest of the class. On top of that, his statement is compounded by the fact that he actually KNOWS Ladybug and has called her out on her faults multiple times before (his own issues aside). So yeah, Marinette is generally a good person and she puts up with a lot and she goes the extra mile, but she has her own selfish desires and her own skewed idea of what is acceptable. 

Let’s be frank, Marinette crosses a lot of lines. And even if that attitude leads to her doing good things, it doesn’t change the fact that she’s comfortably prepared to do whatever she wants even if someone else tells her “no.” And she learns, of course, and does better, and usually turns things around, but that part of her personality is still there. And being Ladybug, more than likely, has only encouraged this part of her.

So now we have the situation in season 3. Lila is basically, at this point, another up and coming Chloe as far as her levels of nastiness, except that Marinette is the only one who knows that (and Adrien, but he likes to see the best in everyone and so likely believed what Lila said in good faith). The issue that Marinette is the only one that knows is only compounded by the fact that she can’t defend her attitude toward Lila because that would mean she’d either, one, have to admit she’s Ladybug, or, two, formulate some sort of lie that would be the equivalent of what Lila did, which isn’t exactly a good idea given what Marinette is angry about in the first place (also, that’s a shitty thing to do anyway). The rest of the class have nothing but good opinions of Lila. Even Alya has had nothing but good things to say about her. Add in the fact that a good majority of the class KNOWS Marinette has a past of acting ridiculous when it comes to Adrien and it’s not a far stretch that they’d be irritated with her behavior. To them, it looks like Marinette is, once again, trying to manipulate the situation to her advantage so that she can serve her own desire to be near Adrien. As the audience--who arguably knows a lot more about Marinette as a person than the class--it’s easy to say “well, she’d never do that,” but the class has a different understanding of her personality. She’s a well-intentioned young woman who fights for what she believes in and who sometimes goes overboard in order to get what she wants, especially where Adrien in involved. It’s not that far of a stretch for them that she’d behave this way if Adrien was introduced into the equation. 

If anything, the fact that the class knows Marinette better only adds to the reasons they’d react the way they did. I work in customer service with my sister and if a customer came up with a disability and she had the audacity to question that IN FRONT OF 15 OTHER CUSTOMERS, I’d probably give her a nasty look too. Marinette--whether she was justified or not--came off as a brat and was attempting (again) to humiliate Lila in front of everyone (be it that she deserves that or not). After all, everyone else in the class clearly has no problem with Lila, so why would Marinette? They probably know Marinette doesn’t know her, because Marinette likely hasn’t said anything contrary in an effort to keep her identity safe. After all, when Lila was first introduced, she was antagonistic toward Lila before she’d even known her--Alya was present for that. 

Marinette’s entire attitude comes across as an exaggeration of her own previously poor behavior, whether that’s justified or not. Which likely only makes her all the angrier, as SHE knows this, but there’s nothing she can say to clarify that to anyone else. 

And quite frankly, I’m not even that mad at Alya for volunteering Marinette’s seat for Nino. No, it wasn’t the most polite way to go about it (she could have asked first), but Alya has gone above and beyond for Marinette and her love life, setting up all sorts of situations and encouraging Marinette whenever she can. I don’t think it’s that selfish of her to say “I’d like to sit beside my boyfriend” given all that she’s done for Marinette. Yeah, it’s kind of shitty that Marinette now sits in the back, alone, but if it wasn’t her, then someone else would have had to do it. And sometimes in classrooms, you just sit where you’re told to. I’d also like to add that, upon learning Alya was then sitting beside Nino, Marinette was not upset. Rather, she was simply upset she had to sit in the back.  

Honestly, even if it hadn’t been labeled a mistake, I wouldn’t even be that mad at Adrien for glaring at her. Adrien takes a lot of what people say at face-value and is often more forgiving than he should be. It’s not completely out of the question that he might believe Lila, given what other things he’s willingly believed. Adrien WANTS to believe in people. Not only that, but he has firsthand experience being on the sour end of Marinette assuming the worst because of circumstances. No, I don’t think he holds it against her, but she was pretty brutal toward him despite the fact that he tried to explain and that she didn’t even know him in the first place (origins). 

Marinette is a strong and wonderful character, but she has faults and while I likely would have handled a lot of things in the story differently, this episode premise isn’t as bad as people on this hellsite think it is. Yeah, some of the opinions that come from the Defend Marinette Squad are justified, but this episode isn’t even out yet and everyone is up in arms. That aside, I don’t really see how anyone is that out of character, except for maybe Alya. 

I think that a lot of people who view Marinette as this perfect, blameless flower are angry that her faults are being exploited so as to put her in a difficult position. A position that also reflects badly on her, despite the fact that we, the audience, know she’s not at fault. Honestly, that’s probably the whole point--that we as audience members feel the same frustration that she does. She’s our hero, so we hate it just as much as she does when someone is telling lies and it reflects badly on her. It has been well-established that Marinette is emotionally sensitive to two things--lying and Adrien. OF COURSE the writers are going to use Lila to exploit that. And they’ve set it up that Marinette has been just as faulted in the eyes of the other students as she has been virtuous. I doubt any of them now hate her, but I also doubt that any of them are surprised at the concept of Marinette becoming so emboldened as to act against another student so as to get a chance with Adrien (there’s a reason she gets compared to Chloe all the time, guys--there are parallels there whether we like it or not). 

Like, that’s literally the plot of Gamer, despite the fact that Max was a whiney little bitch about losing. 

Marinette can be a good person and still make big mistakes. 

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #ml #mlb #ladybug #marinette #season 3 teaser #spoilers #ml spoilers #lila

[peerless-soshi]

Reylo + 7&36?

Rules: Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.  

Florist AU + Text/Letter Fic

Rey didn’t see herself as a florist.

After all, she had grown up in a small, sandy town known for its record-breaking temperatures, got the first glimpse of green gardens thanks to picture books and killed a class plant when she had been in third grade. It’d been a cactus. Really, flower shops took the last spot on her dream jobs list. But Millenium Falcon had flexible hours, the salary was good enough for a college student as poor as a trash collector, and making bouquets turned out to be more inspiring than Rey had expected. Therefore, she was here, still surprised, trying her best, cursing and choosing flowers.

The usually blindingly bright shop was priced by red stains of afternoon, which meant that her shift was coming to an end. Rey wiped the sweat off her brow and looked down to admire the last work of her art. A mistake. Purple lavender petals looked horrible with yellow flowers, as if they were planning to bite off their neighbors’ heads. They could as well eat small insects. And she actually believed in the final result… Arranging flowers was a battle. And she was a winner. Normally, Rey would spend another half an hour changing the composition and fighting with equally ugly ribbons while receiving calls from crying brides that replaced their wedding flowers for the third time this week, but waiting for the next customer, Rey didn’t have to hurry. Mostly because the customer looked as if he bit off his neighbors’ heads, too.

There was one more thing about the flower shop, more for the benefit of Rey’s boredom than her bank account. Who knew that flowers fading on shelves would make her meet so many people? Rey didn’t like to think about it but she used to be a part of the closed world: familiar faces, familiar houses, and between them stories she had been hearing since birth. 

It was a strangely exciting sensation, that getting to know a stranger.

The young man coming to the flower shop every other Friday caught Rey’s attention from the start. He wasn’t just a person who didn’t match the flower shop; he was the most mismatched person that has got there since the invention of flower shops. Rey wasn’t entirely certain what he did for living but a leather jacket so shiny that other motorcyclists could see their reflections and hair falling across his forehead in a mess suggested something less office-like and more rebel-like. There was no way a boy with a scar on his face and contempt in his eyes could possibly buy little flowers, Rey had thought. She’d been wrong. He’d even left her a gratuity. The following Fridays Rey had kept seeing him regularly until she got used to that black pole, though her curiosity didn’t fade away. Whoever the rebel was buying flowers for, they had to bath in aromatic petals and candles and maybe honey too.

Rey looked at a card lying on the counter with the same gaze she wore when someone asked her a gross question, then quickly scribbled a note.

Lavender - devotion

Among all the words that could describe her, Rey wouldn’t choose ‘sentimental’. It didn’t meant she wasn’t sentimental  — just that she wouldn’t describe herself that way.

The bouquet wasn’t pretty but lavender would do.

She was finishing the last letter when the door slammed and the little bell above it rang. Rey raised her gaze. The man in black always slammed the door. He felt the need to make a scene and announce his arrival to everyone inside the shop and on the street. And possibly make Rey spill the ink, but she refused to leave a blob. Instead Rey’s reserved-yet-polite-how-can-I-help-you face met his reserved-and-uninterested-nice-to-see-you face.

“I would like a small bouquet of flowers,” the man said, although this clarification wasn’t necessary.

Rey pointed to the vase next to her. “Here. A modest but lasting bouquet. Can I add something?”

Extra decorations meant extra money, and Rey never sneezed at extra money. Though more important was nagging curiosity that turned the man in black into a matryoshka doll in which rattled secrets.

“No need.”

Rey served together the bill and the professional smile. “If you are buying flowers for someone then maybe that person has some special wishes? It would help me.”

The man in black didn’t reply. He raised an eyebrow without looking at her, but in the dim afternoon light pouring through the shop window Rey caught sight of restrained surprise. The light was red. Rey’s cheeks burned with embarrassment for some reason she didn’t understand. In fact, she could pin this to silence.

He dropped money onto the counter, once again more than necessary.

“It’s true that I bought them for someone. But this person is unlikely to express his opinion. He is on a cemetery.“

Now it was her turn to avoid answers. There was a weight to this silence, there was tension in her face. Perhaps it was more awkward than killing a class cactus.

“Please forgive me,” Rey said after a moment. But it was only external Rey. Internal Rey was hitting her head on a stone and wrapping herself in a blanket as a ball of shame.

“It’s all right,” he said, just a little sarcastically. He seemed to be honest.

“No, I’m really sorry, I should…”

Should what? Should mind her own business and not make people uncomfortable, and now, when she indeed made someone uncomfortable, she should keep her cool and gift him a dancing flower? Rey wouldn’t be satisfied with such an apology.

The man’s gaze was swaying over the line between annoyance and amusement. He said, “I put it badly. You didn’t say anything wrong because it wasn’t someone close to me. I didn’t even know him.”

“A distant cousin?”

“A total stranger.”

Rey’s eyes widened with suspicion. She struggled to think of reasons he could have to visit a random guy’s grave, except for participating in demonic mass, being a volunteer cleaning graves or possibly making fun of her. He looked like a solid one, though more facts were in favour of number three.

“Recently, my father died,” the man in black continued and waved his hand, silencing her. “Past is in the past. I just visit him to pay respects, but the grave next to him is always in a terrible state. It looks bad, you know?” He shrugged casually, which annoyed Rey, because she was busy being ashamed and this demonstration of nonchalance clashed with it. “My father had many friends, so his grave is full of flowers. It makes the other one look even worse then before, so every time I’m going to visit him, I buy flowers for that guy.”

Even if Rey didn’t know the truth, she could spot a lie. But there had to be something about a son not leaving flowers for a father, something private and more complicated than Rey would like to see. She let it be. Instead, she focused on the guy being number two. What a surprise.

“It’s extremely nice of you,” she said, using the tone containing half the truth and half the suspicion. “You don’t even know who it is.”

The man shrugged again. Maybe he wasn’t trying to be nonchalant and it was a fundamental part of his nonverbal communication.

“Aren’t you curious?”

“Curious?” he repeated slowly.

“Who it was,” Rey explained. “You visit him every other Friday and you don’t know anything about him. If I was you, I would be curious. Maybe there’s a reason why his family doesn’t visit him.”

She shrugged it off to match the man in black, but compared to him, the gesture seemed amateurishly.

He looked at her, and there was a crease between his eyebrows. “I’m not nosy.” Unlike you, Rey read between the lines. She was ready to discuss when he added, “By the way, family doesn’t have to visit you, right? There are more important matters.”

He said There are more important matters like someone who considers it a very important matter. Rey spotted A Family Issue behind it; an important feature of having family issues was both the ability to see them and the ability to leave them without a comment.

“Of course, sir.”

“Kylo Ren.” 

Rey lowered her head with a hint of smile. “It’s just Rey.”

She felt that telling her name meant something; that sharing the story about the abandoned grave was a secret message and Kylo Ren found Rey worthy of it. The air between them filled quite uninvited understanding.

“I’ll take the flowers then,” he said, “Thanks for your advice, Rey.”

She cast a quick glance at the note, realizing that the distance between devotion and the thing he was doing was big. Still, mourning was too heavy and Rey didn’t have statice for remembrance.

“Next time I’ll choose better flowers, just as I promised.”

For now, language was open to interpretation.

The “next time” came earlier than expected.

All afternoon Rey was locked up in her flower shop, working on wedding and funeral orders — the circle of life — when a loud vehicle spat with exhaust fumes at the curb. Rey didn’t understand immediately; the man in black’s schedule has never failed her, so recognizing the flower shop as a meeting point for dark guys was more reasonable. It was a coincidence that the new bouquet was ready when the door slammed as loud as if a motorcycle parked in the window.

Kylo Ren greeted her in the door.

“Oh,” Rey muttered, little eloquently. “I didn’t think you’d come,” she added, which was one of many things she shouldn’t have said.

Kylo Ren’s gaze was between annoyance and resignation. A very not-man-in-black condition. He said, “I want to ask you for another message.”

“Message?” Rey repeated.

“Last time you left me a note in flowers, right? Then I need your help.”

Oh. Rey rubbed her fingers together, as if she was wiping non-existing ink away from them. Somehow, talking about her sentimentality didn’t seem right, but it was also difficult to explain — she did write the note, no use denying it — so she accepted the topic. “What kind of message would you like to include in flowers?”

To her surprise, Kylo Ren exaggerated a pissed sigh and crossed his arms. “Fuck you.”

“Excuse me?!” Rey snapped. No one was to insult her while she was working, especially not a client to whom she devoted so much work.

Rey was ready to punch him when Kylo Ren explained, mixing perfectly exasperation and obviousness, “I want you to make me a bouquet that says fuck you. In capital letters.”

It was an unexpected change of game.

“You’re still visiting that stranger?” Rey asked to make sure.

Very coolly, he said, “He’s not a stranger anymore.”

“Maybe some details?”

Kylo Ren looked as if he swallowed acid. “What you said earlier… I could be a little curious. Just a little.”

Corners of Rey’s lips moved up. Kylo Ren grinned in response.

“I checked his name because I wanted to learn anything,” he said, “Have you ever heard a surname like Snoke?“

“I don’t think so,” Rey answered and tilted her head.

“He was a serial killer.”

Now Rey’s lips formed a beautiful, round O. She overheard? Some things needed to be said twice, even if one understood them perfectly, and so Rey asked, “What did you say?”

And so, Kylo Ren repeated, “I said that I was leaving flowers for a murderer. For almost half a year.”

“This…” Rey paused. “This explains why nobody else left him flowers.”

“I looked like a psychopath.”

“There are worse things.”

Kylo Ren nodded, as if he agreed with her and listed all worse things. “So can I order a fuck you very much bouquet, please?”

When the first wave of shock was over, Rey felt laughter rising in her. Bringing back her professional smile, she said, “See you next Friday.”

She should decorate the bouquet with geranium. Once Rey had read that its message is foolishness.

#star wars #reylo #kylo ren #rey #my writing

[winryofresembool]

Edwin/dad!Ed one-shot: Girl Issues

Summary: Ed’s son Alan has been disappearing a lot from their house, and Ed tries to figure out why.

A/N: finally! This took like a million years. I hope you guys will still enjoy it :) Please let me know what you think!! (bing @automail-freak-and-alchemy-freak)

Edit: I forgot to say there might be a small “easter egg” hidden in the fic, about a movie some Edwin people have been talking about lately :’)

Words: 2450

Warnings: swearing

”Hey, Ed?” Winry addressed her husband who was cleaning the kitchen after the dinner. “Do you think Alan has been acting weirdly lately? He’s been doing… less mechanic work and gone out to town way more often…”

“He has?” Ed stopped putting the plates into the cupboard and turned to look at his wife, raising his eyebrows. “To me he has told that he’s simply taking some extra art lessons with Mr. Dawson because drawing blueprints has never been his strength.”

Winry crossed her arms over her chest and looked just as surprised as he did. “And to me he’s told he’s helping out some friends who have trouble with school… Something doesn’t add up.”

“Hmm. It’s not like him to hide things from us. I think I will call Mr. Dawson tonight and ask him if he’s really been at his house,” Ed decided. The conversation ended at that point because a loud crash could be heard from the living room, and Winry rushed to check what the twins had broken this time.

Only half an hour later, Ed, who was observing Emma’s alkahestry studies upstairs, heard the front door opening and closing. That let him know Alan had just left the building. He waited 10 more minutes, just in case Alan indeed went to the Dawsons, before dialing their phone number.

“Mr. Dawson? Hello! I’m calling you because my son seems to have been spending a lot of time there lately. Is he there right now?”

“No. And he hasn’t been here for the past two or three weeks, so I wouldn’t call that ‘a lot’,” a grumpy voice answered.

Ed narrowed his eyes at that piece of information, but he didn’t want to make Mr. Dawson too suspicious so he didn’t reveal the real reason of his call.

“Oh, OK. Well, thank you, anyway. And if he shows up, could you tell him to come home as soon as possible? Winry has a commission to finish and the twins are currently trying to kill me, so extra hands would certainly be useful.” The part about the twins was obviously a lie, as they were sitting surprisingly quietly in the living room listening to their father’s phone call, but the dramatic wording would probably get Alan home more easily. That is, if he ever got the message.

Winry glanced at Ed curiously when he finished the call.

“So? Did you find out anything?”

Ed shrugged. “Only that Alan hasn’t visited Mr. Dawson for several weeks. I thought he was enjoying his classes!”

“I thought so too,” Winry said, getting more and more confused.

“Did you talk to any of his friends?” Ed asked then.

“I just saw Jack, that boy from his class, down the street, and he said that if Alan had been helping someone, he certainly wasn’t among them. But you know, to me it sounded like he was hiding something from me.”

“Great,” Ed sighed. “So he’s been lying to both of us. What do we do about this?”

“I guess we should get him to talk. But how do we do it? He’s got your blood in him, you know.” Winry threw Ed a sly look that Ed had seen quite many times during their years of marriage.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Ed pretended to be hurt by Winry’s implications.

“Just that you have never been very good at expressing yourself, honey.” Ed snorted, because Winry and he had never been ones for pet names. “But also, since he’s more like you than you probably realize, you should be able to figure out the best way to make him open up. Was there anything that managed to crack your shell open when you were a teenager?”

Ed leaned his jaw against his hand, seeming to consider Winry’s question. His face seemed to have gotten some extra color when he spoke.

“Well, after the Promised Day… There was this girl who had been my friend since forever… She had even built me an automail leg and arm, so I could function… I knew she was upset because I couldn’t tell her what was happening in my life, but after the Promised day, when I felt it was safe to tell her everything… it was easier than I thought. Why? Because she made me feel she cared.”

“Ed… that’s very sweet of you…,” Winry said, completely surprised by her husband’s words and blushing slightly. She let her hand linger on his shoulder for a moment before continuing: “Anyway, I guess that means you should show that you do care about his wellbeing. I mean, deep down he must know that already, but you know, sometimes it’s good to say it aloud. He’s in a difficult age, but I know he really respects you and values your opinions.”

“I hope so,” Ed grunted, not quite believing her.

Until that moment, the twins who had been listening the whole time hadn’t said anything, but suddenly the 4-year-old Henry blurted: “We heard brother talking with big sissy today! He told her to ‘dis… tract you’, whatever that means, while someone comes to get him with a motorbike!”

“Really?” Winry asked, her eyebrows raising probably higher than the twins had ever seen. “Those two are almost as bad as… oh, never mind,” she added quickly when she saw the twins staring at her intensely.

“So that’s why Emma was so eager to show me what she had learned with Mei… She’s usually not that enthusiastic about it,” Ed noted.

“Makes perfect sense. Hey, my little king and queen,*” Winry ruffled her kids’ hair, “you didn’t happen to hear where they were planning to go?”

“No, mum,” the twins said in unison. “But I bet Emma knows!”

“We’ll just have to ask her, then.”

“No, dad, I’m not gonna tell you where Alan is. One, because I don’t know it either since they change their meeting place regularly, and two, because it’s none of your business.”

Emma took a book from her bedside table and pretended to be interested in it instead of looking at her father’s stare. Even though it didn’t work quite as well against her as it once used to, she still felt slightly bad about hiding things from him. Alan was right, though, their parents were too curious for their own good.

“Fine, then. Can you at least tell me with whom he is?”

Emma was positive her father would use what he liked to call “Elric telepathy” on her if she didn’t talk, so she let a little huff from her mouth and said:

“He’s gonna murder me, but… you would find out eventually if they continue doing this. You’re not gonna like this, dad…”

“Emma, just tell me already.” Ed was starting to show signs of losing his patience. Even though he had calmed down after having his children, the old temper still raised its head when he was truly annoyed or frustrated.

“Remember how Mei’s niece from Xing came to visit her and Al a couple of months ago because she wanted to learn more about Amestris and alchemy?” Emma asked, trying to be nonchalant but failing at it.

“Yes, wasn’t she Ling’s daughter?” Ed asked, not understanding why Emma had started talking about her. “Didn’t she have all those guards behind her all the time because she’s the daughter of the Emperor?”

“You are right, she was… Well, what you probably don’t know is that she decided to stay here in Amestris. She’s been trying to keep a low profile because she doesn’t want the media to follow her.”

“OK, but what does this have to do with Alan? I don’t get… OH!” The pieces of the puzzle started finally clicking in Ed’s head, and Emma could see his face taking a more and more dark red shade as he processed the information. “Are you telling me… my son… is seeing… that bastard’s heir?!”

“I told you, you wouldn’t like it.” Emma shrugged. “I thought you and the Emperor were friends, though? Doesn’t he always send you presents on holidays and stuff?”

“Damn right he does,” Ed suddenly stopped caring that he was talking to his daughter, “but that’s only because I once had to pay for a hell of a lot of food for him. He owes me.”

“Whatever you say…” Emma rolled her eyes. “Listen, please don’t be too hard on Alan. From what I’ve seen, they genuinely enjoy each other’s company, and Zhi is a nice person.”

“Fine. But I’m still gonna talk with him.” Under his breath, he mumbled: “what if they decide to get married? What if my son becomes a prince? What if…”

“Um, dad, I don’t know what you had in your mind when you were 15 but I really don’t think they are thinking about marriage yet,” Emma said, amused by her father’s exaggerated reaction.

“When I was 15, I was trying to save our entire country from Homunculi so it was a bit different!”

“Based on your stories, you were only trying to save Uncle Al, dad, and everything else just happened by accident.”

“That… might be true, but you shouldn’t say it aloud, Emma,” Ed gave her a fake hurt look. “I still punched the god on his face!”

“Whatever, dad.” She took her book again and hid her face behind it. “Just… could you go now so I can continue reading in peace? I have a test tomorrow I need to study for.”

“Would you like me to help?”

“Just go, please!”

Ed and Winry had already put the twins into bed when Alan showed up at home again. Winry remained calm on the surface even though Ed knew she must have been sizzling underneath her cool cover. She had always hated it when he and Al had hidden something from her and now, they were talking about their 15-year-old son… Ed guessed that it was normal teenagers acted that way, but that didn’t mean he liked it. He suggested Winry go to check on the rest of the kids while he’d deal with Alan.

“Alan, can we talk?” Ed asked, barely able to contain his annoyance. Alan looked like he sensed his parents had found out something, the guilty expression Winry had seen on Ed so many times giving him away.

“Now? Dad, I’m hungry as fuck, haven’t eaten anything since lunch so can I at least grab a bite first?”

“What’s with that language, young man?” Ed asked disapprovingly.

“Please, like you weren’t the one who taught me that word…” That was the truth, but Ed wasn’t going to let him get away so easily.

“I’ve always told you to not do what I do, not the other way around…”

“Right… Well, since you clearly aren’t allowing me to eat, you might as well get into the topic.” Alan crossed his arms just like his mother had a little bit earlier. That amused Ed a bit.

“We can always talk about it in the kitchen,” Ed noted, a small smile spreading on his face.

“So… what was it you wanted to talk about?” Alan asked when he had a full bowl of stew in front of him.

Ed looked serious again. “I think you know. Don’t think we haven’t noticed your disappearances lately.”

“But I’ve been…”

“We know you haven’t been where you were supposed to be. I talked to Mr. Dawson today and he told me you haven’t visited him for several weeks.”

“I’ve…”

“Listen, the sooner you admit it, the better. Do you want me to know the real story or the vague one Emma told me?”

“She told you about Zhi? Damnit, I’m never telling her anything again.”

“I think you are missing the point there, son.”

“Fine,” Alan finally admitted, as he was lapping the stew into his mouth. “Yes, I’ve been hanging out with Mei’s niece… who also happens to be the Xingese Emperor’s daughter.”

“And…?”

“And what? What are you expecting me to tell you? That she’s pregnant? That we are about to announce our engagement any day now? That I’ve decided to move to Xing and leave my family behind forever?”

“None of those things are true, right?” Ed raised his eyebrow suspiciously.

“Of course they aren’t! I like her, and we have a lot of fun when we are hanging out… But I do realize that she’s a princess from another country. And she knows the realities too. She’s gonna have to go back eventually. And when she does, she is in the constant focus of her people. That is not something I’ve ever imagined going through, but why does it have to mean I’m not allowed to enjoy this moment? I knew you guys would react badly to this, that’s why I didn’t tell anything.”

“Now we finally got to the root of the problem,” Ed said. “I don’t mind you hanging out with this Zhi girl… the princess… whatever… But I am upset that you have been lying to us for a long while now.”

Alan couldn’t help but roll his eyes in annoyance. “Like you’ve never had any secrets yourself…”

“I admit that when I was your age, I hid a lot of things from your mother, because I wanted to keep her safe… But I regretted it a lot. I could see she hated it, and it made me upset too. After the Promised Day, I was so relieved because I could finally share everything. I think it made our relationship stronger too.” Ed sighed before adding: “I’m not good at these things, but what I’m trying to say is that please don’t hide things from us just because you think we might not like what you are wanting to tell us. We are here to support you.”

“Dad, thanks… And sorry… for not telling you.” “No problem, son. I’m just saying what I wish my father had once told me.”

“Oh…” Alan hadn’t heard his father talking about his father a lot. He had just always assumed they had had a bad relationship. And this proved he had been right.

“So, now that we have dealt with that…,” Ed spoke suddenly, “about this Zhi girl… how far have you gone with her? Do I need to have the talk with you?”

“Dad, stop being so embarrassing!” Alan screamed and jumped off his chair. “I’m not gonna talk about that with you! Uncle Al or even the Emperor of Xing would give better advice than you!”

“Hey, take that back!” Ed growled, but Alan had already run away from the kitchen, and he was left to fume with anger on his own.

*Names Erika and Henry both mean rulers and I have a headcanon that the twins indeed are the rulers of the Rockbell-Elric household even though they are all a pretty strong willed bunch. 

#edwin #edward elric #winry rockbell #my fics #fullmetal alchemist #woop #ps. ignore the typos thank

[warnadudenexttime]

The Lair of the Beast is a Tricky One

A/N: I’ve been working on this fic for over a week now and I’m really excited to share! Hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: Self depreciation, someone being a jerk, and lying.

Word count: 4,638

Beta: @madly-handsome

Summary: Thomas and the sides travel into Deceit’s room.

“What is up… no no I can’t do this today.” Thomas reached over and turned off the camera.

Roman shot up with a distressed look on his face, “Um Thomas!?”

Thomas sighed in response, “Yes Roman?”

“You can’t do this today? And umm why is that??” Roman pushed. “I gave you a perfectly good idea for a video and this-“

“Roman!” Thomas shouted.

Roman instantly shut his mouth. He dropped his head in shame. He had another dramatic outburst. Those seemingly happened more and more recently.

Thomas brushed a hand past his hair, “It’s not about your idea I… just can’t do it right now.” He spoke softly.

“Is this like- a motivation issue again?” Roman questioned cautiously not wanting to cause Thomas any stress.

A roaring groan could be heard as Logan rose up, “I always say emotions are the bane of my existence... But I take it back, MOTIVATION ISSUES TRULY WILL BE THE END OF ME!” He yelled, quickly regaining his composure. Logan went back to his usually calm tone. “Thomas, may I ask what or whom is making you feel this way?”

“Am I really getting anything out of these videos?” Thomas unhappily said.

Logan rolled his eyes. This issue appeared to be so easy to solve. All he needs to do is remind Thomas of why he made videos. “Well, of course you do. You have an income which is providing you with clothes, shelter, food-“

“Yeah yeah that’s great and all, but is this really making a difference to the world?” Thomas barely even got his words out.

“The whole world? Of course not.” Logan laughed not understanding the entire situation thoroughly.

Virgil pops in, “Thanks Teach that sure calmed my nerves.”

“I’d appreciate less sarcasm next time Virge, though I see you may know the birth of this problem?” Logan remarked, assuming since Thomas felt so down and filled with worry, and Virgil experienced that, he could tell him why he was so anxious.

Virgil rubbed his temples, “Is this all really important? Is what we are doing actually making a difference to anyone’s life?” He sank into himself. “Or is it just pointless and no cares?” he said that last thing more as a statement rather than doubting.

“I understand… well I actually don’t... that's a lie. Logan, you're the smart one! Can you tell him he's overreacting?” Roman requested, getting very restless.

“To appease his confusion, telling him his feelings aren't valid isn't gonna help.” Logan waved a nagging finger at Roman. “Virgil, while it may look like making videos for others entertainment is worthless in terms of truly having importance in the world. I assure you that they do effect-”

“I’m perfectly aware of that Logan!” Virgil hollered, his voice got slightly demonic.

The room got silent.

“T-then what's the is-ssue, Mr. Gloom?” Roman stuttered, slightly frightened.

Logan’s eyebrow went up, confused he asked. “Yes… if you know reality, how isn’t that comforting you?” While he did have methods of trying to calm Virgil, one of the things that worked best was reestablishing reality for him. Yet, in this situation he understood he was being irrational and still believing the lie he was telling himself.

“Well Logan, if I knew I’d probably already have it fixed by now!” Virgil snarled, clearly the anxiety Thomas put off turned Virgil's mood for the worse.  

“Just leave him alone for now Logan, I doubt you can help him.” Thomas whispered.

Logan lifted his pointer and opened his mouth however, nothing came out. Defeated he closed it back. Virgil looked down in guilt, he regretted his outburst but didn't say an apology not wanting to speak more.

“Um anyway…” Roman starts, he attempted to lighten the figurative dark haze in the room. “Where’s the puff ball at, we could use some cheering up here right? Patton!” He called.

No one showed up.

“Well that's quite worrisome-” Roman pointed out.

Logan rubbed his chin, “Yes- Usually, he's ecstatic to show up. Thomas, can you call him up?” He politely asked.

Thomas, not in the mood to argue nodded slowly, “I guess… Patton can you come up here?”

Patton slowly rose up with a glum expression on his face and eyes noticeably red, “Yes?”

Roman’s already faltering usual grin fell finally, “Ohhhh that’s not good-”

“Something wrong Thomas?” Patton hesitated, careful to not speak too loud.

“AND he didn’t call tank engine kiddo?!” Roman throwed his hands up in the air dramatically. “What madness!”

“I think you’re exaggerating a bit there princey, like you always do. But this does make sense. If Thomas is currently sad then Patton would feel the same just more concentrated.”

“Thanks for the exposition Logan-“ Roman mumbled.

“P-Patton?” Logan stammered, trying his best to not cause another outburst like he did with Virgil. While Patton was less likely he did seem incredibly in an emotional state. “Is your issue the same as Virge? Or at the very least the same cause?”

“I-I don’t know, what is Virgil’s problem?” Patton wondered.

“While we aren’t for sure exactly, it’s Thomas, and by extension you two don’t think you’re making a huge difference in the lives of other people. However true that may appear, it isn’t correct.”

“I t-think I feel the same as him then.” Patton squeaked out.

“So if you both have the same problem, what is the source?!” Logan perplexed, thinking as logic he must find this out quick before it gets any worse and it spreads to other things besides just not pursuing ones creative endeavors.

“I may have an idea Lo!” Roman announced. “What if it’s that snake.”

“Now, just because you see him as a villain doesn’t mean that this is his-“ Patton goes on falling into his habit of chewing out the sides for being rude to one another.

“Actually, Roman may be right?” Logan tuned in.

“I am?” Roman doubted, not exactly being confident in his first statement. The joy he got from Logan’s confirmation helped jumpstart that self esteem, “Yes! I am!”

Virgil pulled over the hood of his hoodie, grunting “More details Specs-” He said bluntly, absolutely done.

“Think about it, the dilemma is known and reality is upfront yet... Thomas won’t accept it because he’s lying to himself.” Logan explained. “Why he isn’t letting the truth in is because of a fabrication constantly being presented upon him!” He rejoiced, proud of figuring it out. While keeping the fact of slight disappointment to himself about not being the initial one to propose it.

Thomas and Roman both gasp at the same time. Patton and Virgil awkwardly stand there not wanting to add to the conversation due to their lack of energy.

“So the slimy boi is behind this?!” Thomas screamed

“We’ve been over this Thomas I’m like 99% sure his scales are just smooth-“

“Does that mean he’s in the room?!” Roman shouted putting one hand on his hip, proceeding to point at and glare down all the sides with suspicion, ANYONE could be a suspect!

“I highly doubt that as no one here has lied. I’m still factual, you’re still over the top, Virgil is anxious and wouldn’t be able to be deceitful without feeling the anxiety that comes with it, and Patton is openly sad even confirming how he feels.” Logan went on.

“So how would he be influencing Thomas then?? You don’t think-” Roman questioned.

“Don’t think what? You know we would get alot more done if you guys actually weren’t so ‘mysterious’ in your conversations with each other… just saying-” Thomas became curious.

“Where else could he be Roman? He has to be in his room!” Logan stated.

“Wait, Deceit has a room?” Thomas tilted his head in confusion.

“Question after question with all of you I swear…” Virgil whined.

“Of course! Why would you think otherwise. Maybe we need a refresh on your memory skills.” Logan said as he made a mental note to quiz him later.

Thomas rubbed the back of his head, “I mean it’s not like he's a main side or anything. Soooo I didn’t know.”

“He’s ‘main’ enough to have a physical representation. He has a room like the rest of us.” Logan justified his previous statement.  

“Valid argument-” Thomas nodded.

Wanting to be less useless in this situation, Patton added. “If he’s in his room how can we stop him?” he barely even got noticed.

“Can’t we… you know- sink into his corner of my mind?” Thomas pondered.

“Err- bad idea Tommy.” Roman cautioned.

“Why?” Thomas asked, furrowing his brow in even more confusion. The uncertainty didn't sound like it would ever end today.

“As you are aware, Virgil’s room had some pretty bad effects on Roman, Patton, and I. While, we haven’t been into Deceit’s corner before we can assume negative effects can happen to any of us!” Logan theorized.

“It could be our only option nerd-” Roman bit his nails nervously, “I don’t wanna enter it as much as you do. Yet, I can’t see any other way.”

Virgil sighed heavily, “I hate to agree… but I think he's right. Maybe it’s best to go- let’s just make sure to not stay long…” he warned.

“Well if you are all ok with it… I suppose it’s fine. Patton, do you wanna come along even though you’re gloomy?” Logan offered.

“I g-guess?” Patton sniffled out.

“It’s decided then! We shall travel to the room of the Danger Noodle!” Roman published with great pride, ready to put a stop to the fiend. He turned to Thomas in his usual pose, “Thomas? Do the honor?”

Thomas pumped with energy from the excitement but also slight terror of what came, momentarily forgetting his previously cheerless attitude, “Got it Roman!” He expressed as he sunk down.

Roman laughed as he attempted to enter the destination.

“I’m not sure that’s even a thing- ” Logan spoke, disappearing from the room.

“If he talks to me I’ll lose it even more I swear.“ Virgil spat doing the same as the others.

Patton stayed soundless like a sleeping mouse as he left.

-

As they all sunk in, thoughts raced through all of them, not knowing what to expect from the villain that wore yellow and black.

Roman thought it was a blackened swamp with vines everywhere, perhaps it looked like a jungle.

Virgil wondered if it was a nightmare of puzzles, never ending despite saying ‘just one more’.

Logan pondered that maybe it was a place constantly changing, new strings of lies added to the web.

Patton? Well he didn’t know what to question. BUT HE KNEW THAT THIS WAS A BAD PLACE. Patton did try his best to not judge, that didn’t work out well in his favor.

Yet, in reality it looked like the inside of an old house from a time period that none of them were born into. It held a bad color scheme complete with a bunch of old play production posters and a nearly broken radio. It held almost no light within its walls. In the corner was a wooden coat rack that gripped Deceit’s cape on the side with his bowler hat on top. Even a furry creature ran on its wheel in the tank it called home on the table that use to be the kitchen counter. Besides those things the room was pretty empty.

“Well… this is surely an establishment-“ Roman teased loudly. At the same time he was shocked, impressed and humored. “I honestly considered thinking this place was gonna be a full on mess of a place. It’s quite… bare bones if you will?”

Thomas and Patton both in sync screamed, “OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS IS THAT A HAMSTER!?”

Patton snapped out of his haze with the newfound distraction. He moved from where he came from and sat in front of the cage with a giant smile.

“Fascinating.” Logan remarked as he continuously gazed around. “Truly I never anticipated such a look.”

“Should we REALLY trust such a slippery scoundrel with a sweet innocent hamster?”

“Roman, again he isn’t actually a snake. I highly doubt he eats anything from the rodent family.” Logan recounted.

Virgil took a deep breath to calm himself, then took off the hoodie that laid from his head for a while now. “Let’s make this as quick as possible before anything terrible happens to us… where is he?”

“He could be in the shadows! Hiding away in the darkness, that offender! I shall be the one to find the wrongdoer… at least I hope!” Roman commanded losing confidence somewhat at the end.

“I don’t- whatever.” Virgil flicked his wrist.

“Deceit come out-” Logan insisted. “From your… rock?”

“I thought you said he wasn’t part-” Thomas started, interrupted by Deceit appearing in Patton’s empty spot.

“Goodbye everyone… why are you here?”  Deceit announced with a puzzled expression overshadowing his face.

“WE ARE AWARE OF THE MISFORTUNE YOU’RE CAUSING THOMAS! Well… I think all of us are sure? I don’t wanna doubt myself or anything-” Roman chuckled with a hint of nervousness. “No but seriously that was confirmed right??”

“I know all of what you’re talking about.” Deceit shrugged.

“What is he saying? This makes no sense.” Logan thought aloud.

Patton walked over from the habitat to where he originally rose, now bored. He joined the conversation, “Of course it makes sense! He speaks in lies! Don’t act dumb Logan.” He giggled putting his hand over his mouth like a schoolgirl laughing. “Also Deceit can you move over-“

“T-this isn’t my room though-” Deceit stuttered, intimidated by the moral trait.

“That was kinda rude, Patton.” Thomas puffed out.

”Don’t act like we weren’t all thinking that.” Patton huffed. “You guys had no problem with Deceit moving from my location LAST TIME!”

“I-” Virgil tuned in but shook his head “Nevermind.” He shouldn’t bother.

“I may have no current knowledge as to how you’ve done it… I just know you have contributed to this! Deceit admit to it!” Logan snapped, his cheeks getting red.

“Ah yes..” Deceit hissed, “I wonder why I’m never blamed for anything at all.”

“Wait but you’re always blamed… stop confusing me!” Logan vigorously trembled his fist.

Patton rolled his eyes not going noticed. “Logan how aren’t you getting this? You’re supposed to be the smart one right?”

Logan tipped his head moderately to the right in uncertainty. Should he take that as an insult or as a sign of worry caused by… Caused by something he couldn’t quite remember. It was on the very tip of his tongue waiting to be let out. In the end, Logan couldn't think of it, and simply rotated in the direction of Roman when he started to speak.

“We have reason to suspect... I... t-think… that you’re causing Thomas to LIE to himself! Making him believe what he does isn’t worth it because no one cares!” Roman prided trying his best not to stutter.

Deceit looked down at his hand, clearly not taking the situation seriously. “And whatever are your AMAZING points that you hold behind me?” He raised his eyes to make contact with the creative side.

“Well-!” Roman announced then instantly started biting his nails in nervousness, “Uh, Teach can you take this one? I don’t wanna ruin our argument…”

“I seem to have forgotten our previous discussion, so I don't possess that compression. I can try and guess if you want-”  

“Ugh that will not do Logan…” Roman thought aloud. “How about you Virgil?!” He gave off a hopeful smile.  

“Don’t worry about it Princey I’m sure this will merely finish in a happy ending like usual.” Virgil waved off the worry, taking his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling mindlessly through social media.

“I-” Roman ran both of his hands through his hair in distress. “Come on guys! We can do it! We can’t let Thomas down now can we?!”

“It’s ok-k Roman… you aren’t failing me at all! Don’t worry-.” Thomas tried to soothe.

“So you all decided that I was the hero, came down to someone else’s room and whispered to me saying I truly am no criminal?” Deceit interrupted.

“Yes-“ Logan agreed, not really knowing what Deceit meant.

Deceit rolled his eyes, “How delightful.”

“Does this mean we were wrong? Or were we not- wait are you lying? Perhaps this is a trap?! No… maybe?”

“Oh my god Roman can you shut up? We get it you’re worried! Blah blah blah.” Patton mocked, waving his hands dramatically like Princey always does.

“No need to fight guys!” Thomas demanded trying to get ahold of the situation. “Virgil, Logan, can you two kick in here?”

Virgil yawned putting his phone in his pocket, “I couldn’t care less dude. They’ll be fine? Probably? No need to panic I’m sure.” He stated, asure of himself.

“In all honesty I’ve lost track of where we are at this point.” Logan blinked with a bewildered expression washed over his face.

“Why are you all acting like this?!” Thomas glared, he got more and more frustrated by the second.

“What a calm situation we have here.” Deceit uttered with panic.

“You think?!” Thomas bawled his fists, ultimately letting the anger take control of him.

“I highly don't suggest you leave immediately before any real damage is caused- I can’t assure you that I’ll promise to tell you once you are back to safety.”

“Should I t-trust him?” Thomas said more to himself than to the others.

“He’s literally deceit.. I don’t know about this Thomas?!” Roman hollered, “But what do I know I guess right?” He started to laugh.

“Can’t we like chill… so what if anything happens?” Virgil sighed.

“I notice there was a guinea pig in the room, oh my god-“ Logan blissfully unaware of what was going on.

“That’s a hams- can you hurry up so I can get away sooner from these idiots dear god!” Patton groaned.

Thomas overwhelmed with all the comments swiftly left the room along with all of the other sides.

-

Thomas rose up first with a calmer expression, “Finally back to peace… hopefully.”

“UM WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!?” Virgil growled, full of fret. “WE WERE IN DANGER AND I WAS SO- SO CASUAL!”

Next was Patton, tears welled in his eyes, “Oh my goodness guys I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to act that way… I-I don’t know what came over me!” Guilt came up in his stomach.

After Roman arrived, “Well then… that was an adventure.” He awkwardly coughed.

Logan was the last of the usual sides to appear. “Oh knowledge never leave me again, that was awful. Truly a display went on in there-” He adjusted his tie.

“Sooo…” Thomas trailed off, now thinking more clearly. “Anyone have any idea what happened in there?”

Deceit popped up besides Patton which led the Pat to let out a small squeal of fright. He now had on all of his usual attire.

“Ahem.” Deceit hacked clearing his throat. “I don’t apologize everyone, I really don’t.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I meant harm I swear-”

“Ha Ha!” Roman laughed with confidence. “So Logan and I were right, you were the culprit!”

“Roman…” Patton whispered to the creative side, “Now's not the time-”  

“I shouldn’t have warned you all of the effects of my room sooner.” Deceit clarifying what he meant, he was apologizing from his space rather than committing the crime he was accused of.

“May you tell us now how your room works?” Logan got out a notebook and pen from his back pocket, “I’m quite interested.”

Deceit sighed heavily, “My room has slight effects on others. It makes others act exactly like their true nature considering the room makes them tell the truth to themselves and others.”

Roman looked extremely dumbfounded, letting out an uncomfortable chuckle. “I’m sorry but I honestly got none of that-”

“I swear I’m trying at least a little Roman!” Deceit moaned in annoyance, clearly frustrated with not having the ability to tell the complete truth.

Logan coughed trying to get the attention to him, “I think I understand in a way… let me try and translate the situation… for Deceit’s sake.”

The tears on Patton’s skin started to dry up at this point, recovering from what occurred previously. “Wow Logan, you must be a snake charmer!” He gained a snort from Roman.

“Yes-s…” Logan stuttered, “Anyway- if we stay in his space for a prolonged amount of time, which we just did. It causes us to act the opposite of our usual mannerisms. We turn into our counterparts for this period. Lying about ourselves by behaving that way. For example, Virgil...” He pointed towards the anxious trait. “I’m guessing you became apathetic.”

Virgil snickered, “One of the few times I was ever ‘fully chill.’ He did quotation marks with his hands but setting them back in his pockets. “No but seriously never let that happen again-“

“And Roman, usually you come off as brave and very confident.” Logan declared.

“Come off?? I’d have you know I am very-“

“Anyway.” Logan cut Roman off, “You turned towards self doubt.”

Roman nodded along, “Yeah that explains why I felt so much of a need to impress… which I always do anyway so I have NO CLUE why I was worried-”

“You were worried because of Deceit’s room we just went over that Roman, keep up.”

“That's not what I meant-”

Logan continued to go on ignoring Roman’s comment, “Patton was clearly more rude than what's common for him, on average the most lengths he’ll go is being somewhat passive aggressive.”

“I’m really sorry everyone…” Patton whimpered to himself, barely audible.

“I’d classify that as amorality, him lacking a moral sense. Unconcerned with the wrongness or rightness of the situation.” Logan expressed.

Patton stayed silent.

Logan finally finished with translating Deceit’s claim, “To end I sadly began to go on a road of probably ignorance. Something I never wanna experience again…”

“That’s completely wrong.” Deceit side eyed Logan with a small smile, happy that the logical trait took the time to explain what he had meant.

“What he meant-” Logan began.

“Yeah we get it buddy, don't worry.” Virgil advised.

Roman scoffed, “That's wonderful and all. But, that doesn’t make clear his motivation in making Thomas feel bad!”

“I told you! I totally made him do that!” Deceit spat in anger getting ticked that no one was believing him.

“Alright alright alright… calm down python-” Roman instictly backed away from Deceit’s direction.

“Why do you continue to think that?” Deceit shrugged.

“Wow it’s almost like you have a history of lying.” Virgil sarcastically commented.

“You didn’t say it yourself! I apparently only have one intent, self preservation. Is that correct?”

Patton sniffled, “Well yes-“

Deceit sighed trying to calm himself down, “Then there’s your problem. I want to hurt Thomas because it wouldn’t throw him off balance, possibly causing his reputation to go up.”

Thomas and the rest of the sides all glanced at each other, while he didn’t ‘care’ in a way he also did ‘care in a way.

“So you aren’t at fault-“ Roman asked for the millionth time.

“No.” Deceit stated.

Thomas awkwardly shifted, “Ok well… you can leave then Deceit.”

“Oh ok- um well hello everyone…” Deceit uttered as he sank out with a somewhat sad expression on his face.

“So who’s fault is it then?” Roman questioned, his only suspect was proven incorrect.

“Well looking back at the evidence I may have made a small error.” Logan admitted.

Roman gasped dramatically, “Logan? Wrong? How dreadful!”

“Roman-“ Virgil started not wanting another fight to began.

“What?! I’m joking!” Roman yelled, waving his arms up and down.

“I don’t believe you, anyway-“ Logan changed the topic back to what he wanted.

Roman scoffed at the comment, offended. He swore that no one got his sensational humor.

“We affect Thomas to a certain degree yes, we are always there. We can influence him but we don’t act as his train of thought, his conscious decisions if you will.” Logan described.

“So...technically we didn’t have to even go through that.” Virgil questioned with an eyebrow raised.

“I mean… I learned a lot today-“

Virgil laughed quietly to himself, “I know you did Nerd. I’m talking about Thomas’ problem.”

Logan continued, saying “If we never traveled there we probably wouldn’t have figured out the true cause. Or at least we would have taken more time to come to that conclusion.”

“Still, that's great and all but what if someone got really hurt. What would we have done then?” Virgil spoke concerned.

“No one got hurt Virgil, do not fret.”

“What if someone did though Logan.”

“What if we were fine.”

“What if we weren’t.”

“Virgil.”

“Logan.”

“Virg-” Logan started, stopping before having a neverending disagreement. “How about we worry about the present and not the past then you can head off?”

Virgil pondered a moment, “Does that mean I get to work less?”

“Possibly.” Logan grinned with glee, getting the anxious side to take care instead of argue.

“Fineeee, you’re lucky I need a nap anyway.” Virgil yawned, “Bye Thomas, if you need me… I’ll be asleep so don’t wake me-“ He sank out.

“See ya Virge!” Thomas turned to face patton “Pat, how you feeling?”

“You want the truth?” Patton sighed, trying his best to use the exhale to restart his mood.

“Please.” Thomas said firmly.

“Not the best, I was already under the weather after that serge of thoughts from before. That’s mostly passed now though as that whole mess was one big distraction. I just feel awful for treating Logan and Roman so bad.”

Logan pushed up his glasses, “Patton don’t worry you had no control over the situation and I doubt neither I nor Roman took any offense to your comments.”

“Yeah Dandelion It’s in the past now.” Roman agreed with Logan.

Patton sniffed but now had a determined look on his face, “You are right. It’s in the past, I-I can get over this.”

“There you go Pat, I knew you could do it.” Roman said with a pumped attitude trying to make Patton more determined.

“Thanks for the help guys… I-If I have any other issues I’ll come to you kiddos.” Patton sank out.

“Well those two seem to feel somewhat better, how about you Thomas?” Logan asked.

“I think I agree with Patton that whole thing sure was chaotic I kinda forgot about it.” Thomas rubbed the back of his head.

“While that does sound good in the moment you can’t always have a distraction to comfort you Thomas. Next time before something like that really builds up try your best to look around you. See that you really do make an impression on others. Look at your fanbase for example. They’re a group who love you for you and you are important to them.” Logan went on.

“I appreciate the help Lo… I’ll do that next time.” Thomas promised, now seeing the situation more clear. In the future he can improve on handling this sort of predicament.

“Great well if my job here is done then I'll be off then, farewell.” Logan left leaving just Roman and Thomas in the room.

“S-so while this may be unimportant now may I-I suggest since you’re feeling b-better you could try-” Roman stuttered nervously.

“Filming that video you wanted?” Thomas finished the others sentence.

“Yes! I mean… well only if you want to that is…don’t feel like you HAVE to… I just thought-”

Thomas giggled pleased with making him so joyful, “I’ll get on that Princey.”

Roman ultimately filled with glee, sunk out, his current wish of getting his proposed idea used coming true.

Thomas finally turned the camera back on, his usual phrase erupting off the walls. “What is up everybody!”

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #deceit sanders #my writing

[criminallynerdy]

DDLC Theory: Why Monika is indeed evil after all

I’ve been thinking about DDLC for a bit again and I just suddenly got this theory I don’t have a deep meta explanation for it though. Most personal speculation. What if Monika was able to control the girls to the point of making her opinions on their issues a reality as a last ditch effort to win MC’s affections? Now you might argue “But Monika already said that she was just revealing the girls’ true selves!” Here’s the thing though, the full substance of my theory isn’t contradicted by that line. What I’m suggesting is the possibility that since Monika was in full control of the game is if she could make the girls act how she saw them. Now that might sound a little 3edgy5me but to be fair so is the whole damn game lmao. So let me explain my theory a little further. Some of you may be thinking that Monika must’ve been honest when she said she regretted using her superpowers or magic or whatever to hurt her friends. However I’m suggesting that she is absolutely not honest. I’d say there was only one time in the game where she was honest. And I’d take that even further and say her arc was about her overcoming her bad habit of compulsively lying. Compulsively lying over the fact that she’s terrified of rejection, There’s lots of hints towards this. But I’ll start with providing the proof for there being only one time where she was honest. The one time she’s honest is towards the beginning of the game where you’ve just arrived to the club. Monika, after being asked by the MC, talks about what other clubs she’s joined. She brings up that the only other club she’s been to is debate class. Monika said that the club bored her because it “got too political.” And we all know how poorly she handles conflict so Monika getting mad during debates in that club must’ve been quite a sight. What’s the proof that she’d lose her temper and show her true colors during stressful fights? The game’s premise itself. Now I do believe the reveal from one of the secret poems that Monika got her powers on accident. I don’t think she’s like some God but an unfortunate victim of a wrong time wrong place sort of scenario, That’s definitely what the secret poem implies anyways in my opinion. To add to my observation, through out the game we do get little hints that Monika doesn’t like the other girls that much. Or rather she doesn’t like them interfering with the time she spends with the MC. I think it’s possible that since because the game implies MC and Monika met before the main timeline of the game that they had a different dynamic then. Maybe they were friends and as a result of their world becoming like this, MC forgot her. It might even be possible that Monika fell in love with MC at first sight when during the time they met MC didn’t think much of her. Either situation could give Monika the push necessary to make her extremely desperate. At least to her it would justify her actions. So she started fiddling around with her sudden new control over the world they live in. I also don’t think Monika had these powers for very long. I think they’d shown up literally just as she’d become president of the literature club. I don’t have proof for that timeline possibility, but I have proof for the other claim. Hole in a Wall suggests that she got the powers suddenly. The first secret poem in game after Sayori commits suicide suggests Monika doesn’t know what she’s doing. There are later scenes that suggest she’s new to her powers too. So from my viewpoint, Monika basically abruptly got omniscient powers. She didn’t know what to do with them until she remembered the MC who she had a crush on. Monika did what any average selfish teenage girl would do with those kinda powers; use them to make the person they like the most like them back. Like in the debate club, when she saw a threat to her position she got angry. In Monika’s mind she “had no choice” but to act so drastically. In fact in game when Monika and Yuri seemingly have a minor disagreement about who should leave first after the infamous Natsuki scene Monika displays her real temperament. She’s so obsessed with the MC that she can’t even risk letting him have the choice to decide to stay behind with Yuri. That is the kind of behavior that a dishonest person would partake in. I also have examples of Monika having horrible views on the girls. There are several hints to this, there’s even one given to us in the prologue. In the prologue, Sayori reveals that Monika had manipulated her into feeling insecure about her friendship with MC. And we can all guess that’s because Monika saw her as the biggest threat to winning MC’s affection at first. Then she went after Yuri because she believed she was the second biggest threat. As for Natsuki, I think Monika genuinely did not think the MC would ever like her. Hence why she didn’t put as much methodical effort into axing off Natsuki. My proof for these observations is also shown in game. With Sayori Monika was a bit more subtle. Monika was just getting the feeling of her powers. Plus she , in her mind, hadn’t been provoked by the other girls yet. I believe it was only when Sayori decided to tell her how she felt about MC when Monika felt like that. Knowing how much this game loves torture porn scenarios, Sayori probably went to her thinking she could trust Monika to give her good advice. Unfortunately Monika had the worst reaction; homicidal jealousy. Hence Monika abusing her powers and crushing Sayori’s spirit. I think we also got hints of how cruelly Monika really thinks about Sayori. The day before Sayori’s suicide, Monika says some frankly ableist things about Sayori’s chronic depression. With Yuri the manipulation was a lot more obvious post Sayori’s suicide. Monika seemed to feel most threatened by Yuri. She also seemed to hate Yuri the most. I notice she was extra combative Yuri during chapter two. This is also where I go more into my theory. My idea is the extra bold text that shows up when the game glitches aren’t the girls’ real thoughts. They’re Monika’s real thoughts on the girls. I feel that I have proof of this too. Before Monika starts taking more control in the prologue, everyone’s dynamics are different. While Yuri and Natsuki fight they don’t get nearly as verbally abusive as they do in chapter two. Yuri isn’t nearly as self destructive about her anxiety disorder. Natsuki isn’t nearly as open about her abusive dad. But as Monika takes more control, their demeanor become more exaggerated almost flanderized. As if they’re being written by someone who has a strong hateful bias towards these girls. And that would suit Monika’s personality perfectly. There’s also proof that Monika isn’t as mature as she pretends to be in game. During the ending scene after you delete Monika reveals that. She shows that she thinks very poorly of her self image. To the point where she suggests the only way MC could dislike her after all is if he hated her the whole time. Which, if you ask me, are all the signs of a person who is very self entitled deep down. Her last minute apology and selfless act after Sayori takes over as club president doesn’t change that in my eyes. In conclusion, Monika is a cruel manipulator who torments others to try to make up for her lack of self esteem. She’s also proven that she is not against playing dirty to get her way several times in game. That’s why I think this theory is entirely plausible.

#wow that turned out longer than i thought it would #but anyways there's my big DDLC theory on monika's true nature