#and i feel like June or July for Fig

[fantasykiri5]

Sorry but I’m just not going to pay attention to some of the bad kids’ canon heights. Some of them are listed as too damn tall (and Gorgug has 100 percent grown since freshman year) so have 80 million headcanons

Like you’re telling me Riz is supposed to be 4’4”?? That’s a tall ass goblin! That’s too big to be reasonably carted around on the others’ shoulders, no no, I’m making the executive decision to draw him as 3’9” - 3’11” from now on and you can’t stop me. I’d give him another inch or two by college and that’s it.

Kristen being 5’11”? NAH She’s 5’6”. BIG 5’6” energy right there.

Adaine and Fig didn’t have their heights listed on the wiki but I’m thinking Adaine is 5’10” and Fig is 5’4”. Or Fig is also 5’10” ish and takes after Gorthalax idk but I’m leaning towards short Fig.

Fabian can actually stay same as canon at 6’1”. Maybe grow an inch or two since freshman year but honestly his still works. He’s a year older than the others, prolly grew a little earlier and plateaued early-mid sophomore year, half-elf youth look and all that. I think he lied in introductions freshman year and was about 5’11” - 6’0” and grew over the year before the others could notice the discrepancy.

And Gorgug. Gorgug. You’re telling me he reached 6’4” in freshman year and didn’t keep growing?? Mother fucker he has to have hit at LEAST one growth spurt since, puberty does not hit that early in boys that he was done growing at 14/15. I’m thinking 6’8” or so by Junior Year so far, maybe another couple inches before graduating, maybe not.

#kiri rambles #fhjy #I’m trying to keep track of their birthdays too #Fabian’s is in prolly mid/late august I would guess? end of summer #he got held back a year because he was out adventureing but his birthdays also like a month or two before most deadlines so he’s- #-technically behind two years #most folks turn 18 DURING senior year and the cutoff is usually end of September? I think? #Riz and Gorgug are both October I think they said- or late September- so right around the cutoff #but I’m gonna say early October for ease of ‘they were technically born after the cutoff but are some of the older students in their grade’ #not sure if we have canon birthdays for the girls yet but my guesses are: #Adaine gives me January/early February vibes #Kristen makes me think march or April- maybe early may #and i feel like June or July for Fig #so she’s the youngest and would turn 17 a little after they let out for summer before senior year #d20 #d20 fantasy high #d20 fhjy #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #adaine abernant #kristen applebees #fabian aramais seacaster #fabian seacaster #fig faeth #figeroth faeth

[asexualbookbird]

ITS BEEN A HELL OF A TWO MONTHS, YALL. Family problems, health problems, disabled problems, this summer sucks lol I read a lot this month thanks to the readathon, so I get some of the good brain juices from that little accomplishment. One month closer to my best friends wedding which I am so excited for,  discovered I like mango so long as it’s not fresh (so candied, dried, jellied), figured out the right card combo to get high scores in SIF, there were good things peppered throughout the bad. Still wish life didn’t happen so fast.

BOOKS

Year of the Reaper ⭐⭐ (May)

Salt Fat Acid Heat (May)

Summer Sons⭐⭐⭐⭐(May)

Of A Feather (May)

Beasts of Prey ⭐(June)

The Library At Mount Char  ⭐⭐ (June)

Across A Field Of Starlight ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (June)

The Deep & Dark Blue ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (June)

The Ikkesar Falcon ⭐⭐⭐ (June)

This Is How You Lose The Time War ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (June)

OTHER MEDIA

The Magnus Archives

Ringfit

Love Life School Idol Festival

Project Diva

The Adventure Zone: Ethersea

The Penumbra Podcast

Pokemon Alpha Sapphire

FOOD

grilled lamb chops (birthday dinner!)

cinnamon challah

overnight french toast (made from cinnamon challah)

chocolate chips cookies (twice, both Bad for some reason??)

chicken roast

banana bread

banana pudding

poached fish

BERRY PIE

buffalo wings

teriyaki chicken

sausage rolles

fig squares

PEACH PIE

I left non fiction books unrated because it feels weird to rate Real Things. SFAH is a very good resource, especially if you’re new to cooking. A lot of it was stuff I already new, but it had me thinking about it in different ways, which is always good. The recipes are also easy to follow and I love the pull out flavor charts.

I finished The Magnus Archives in May and I loved it so much it took everything I had not to immediately start it again. I still might though. I miss Jon and Martin and Basira and Melanie and

I listened to an entire season and then some of The Penumbra Podcast and decided it was Not For Me. It’s Fine and I see what they were going for, but I wasn’t enjoying it. Walks were no longer fun. I thought it was because I enjoyed TMA so much, I was comparing it, like when I was reading Project Hail Mary all I could think was “I’d rather be reading Murderbot”, but sometimes! That’s because the thing you’re consuming isn’t fun! And that’s okay! Also hated that it was a mostly funny and slapstick show and then they blew up a cat.

Started Alpha Sapphire, but I’m taking my time with it. Sapphire was my favorite game growing up, my best friend (WHO IS GETTING MARRIED I LOVE HER) gave it to me in sixth grade and I swear I put a good 900 hours into it AT LEAST. And then another, different also besty friend got me Alpha Sapphire for my birthday this year and I get to repeat the process. It means so much to me, my friends as always are a shining light in my life, I love yall so much.

I have stomach issues again and my mom is dealing with Gross Smells (don’t know if it’s covid related, neither of us ever tested positive), so food hasn’t been a big thing recently. The peach pie was less a pie and more a bowl of peaches with pie crust on top (can’t have a soggy bottom if you don’t have a bottom). It was still good and I still ate it all, don’t get me wrong, but it’s less fun when others can’t enjoy it with you.

July goals? I don’t know lol SIF finally closed up their anniversary events so I look forward to not playing that as often. I’d like to do some art this month since crocheting is still painful and cooking isn’t the same when it’s just me. I need a creative outlet. I need to send off a gift box and get wedding shoes (why is shoe shopping so hard), I want to read the stack of books on my desk (leftovers from the Readathon and library books and books I’m Maybe Feeling Like Reading), I’d like to do another puzzle, and since I’ve finally discovered a way that audibooks work for me, I can read AND puzzle at the same time! Life hacked!

Here’s to July, may you get your shit together.

#bookbird babbles #reading wrap up #Monthly wrap up #june wrap up #and may but ssssshhhhhh #also very scared of getting my next injection considering the last one likely sent me to the ER but theres no Proof until i get this one soo #i hate having a body lol

[dleena2023]

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

the piano notes of 'terbang tunduk' is playing while i typed these heartfelt words. it's currently 12.40 am now in sg and i really don't know where to start. i'm sure zofgk & tom/roach/sky/becker are still online right now in korea scrimming/practicing for later's quaterfinals match. yes, you see it clearly. the match will be at 4pm later on sunday. it's kind of heartwarming to think that i'm here writing a dedication + motivation post for them while they are on the other side of the earth preparing for quarterfinals omg T_T i know you guys have been practicing very, very hard since last week until now. or hell, should i say you guys have been practicing very hard since 2021.

2021 - the year when i officially got into t1. like for reals. i can't even remember it all started cos it was all hazy but all i remember was seeing keria playing against drx i think? his previous team omg :') and i remember canna, cuzz & teddy were there too. they were playing online cos covid striked and they had no choice but to play at their hq. and all i could think was how adooooorable keria was (and he still is) especially with those round glasses. like it just made his x10 cuter not gonna lie :3 i admit i didn't even watch the games lol and from there, i just started hovering random lck games just to find guys to swoon for lmaooo. some commendable people i could remember were solka & yohan uwu. ngawww i missed them so much :') so yeaaa it just started so sudden and i think figs was watching dk at that time so i just started to 'join in the fun' and watch the games with an empty mind. no kidding but before i got to know all these e-sports thingy, when i thought they were basically just nerdy losers who game 24/7 lol but they proved me otherwise. slowly, i got addicted watching their games for fun. and remember some champions's names for fun too. like zoe for instance hahahaha. damn she's already looong forgotten, eh? anyways the more i watched the games, the more i started to realise how important this e-sport thingy is to them. cos they aspired to be a professional player one day and build a career around it. basically, that's what they are living for. league is their life. t1 intrigued me (because of keria duh) haha and i just happen to watch their games consistently from then on. i got into them a bit tardy around summer 2021. which was around june/july... i think? so yeap i'm one of the people who witnessed the 10 man roster musical chair OTL. and at that point, i didn't think of anything but wanting only the best for them. to win every single game. i remember feeling heartache when we lost and the sweetness when we won. the feeling was just. so thrilling. it's indescribable because i have never felt like this before in my entire life. the urge to support a stranger ardently. the urge to support someone from across the ocean that is 1 hour ahead of my time zone. i remember giving my all to every t1 player (be it if they were playing or were rotating some players). i remember seeing ellim playing. i'm not sure about clozer but i remember seeing only oner & gumayusi playing nearer the end of the regular summer split. i didn't manage to see zeus play at all *sobs* maybe cos he only played a few games during spring which i was still non-existent hihihi x) from there, coaches daeny & zefa (aka frauds/spyagents do you think i don't remember LOL) called up oner for most of the matches remaining season. i still vividly remember my 1st roster ever. and it kind of grew into me. canna-oner-faker-teddy-keria :) when i saw oner played for the 1st time, ngl i went "holy shit this oner is so good what the heck" because he was soooo aggresive and he played like he is not afraid of any single person. he's so so so good that was my 1st impression of him and i felt that he was way better than cuzz. he was the main reason i should say that influence t1's playstyle. t1 became aggressive from then on and it was really a sight to see. and then, little did i know that gumayusi was on the way xD he was playing tug of war with teddy for the last few games and i can'tttt remember when his debut was. i think oner debuted earlier if i'm not wrong then gumayusi maybe a month later? from what i know guma debuted during playoffs ma goshhhh isn't that so stressful thoo??? like wow really coaches. but i'm glad he managed to pull it through!! i mean t1 went from being a mid tier team to advancing to lck finals. wait, can we just appreciate how cool & slay that was!?!?!

[rhidenae]

2022 Book Club Invitations!

Hello!! I have been wanting to find a book club to join for years and that hasn't happened yet so i decided i would simply speak one into existence myself! I wasn’t sure where to start, but after doing some research and consulting with some friends (thank you jill and gracie!) I’ve decided that the easiest way to spread the word and invite people to join is through a little questionnaire via a google form! 

This book club is definitely nothing super intense and I’m definitely not expecting it to be a big thing, but if you are a reader and would be interested in participating, please fill out the form! The “application” is really just a way for me to keep track of who is interested in being a member and a way for me to invite those people to the group chat and so on, so please don’t be afraid to answer honestly and with as much information as you’d like to share (I won’t be sharing these responses with anyone). There’s really no selection criteria, anyone who likes to read and wants a safe space to obsess over books with other like-minded readers is welcome to apply! 

As we will start reading in January, I am hoping to close applications by the end of December, but I will be sending out invitations to the WhatsApp group chat and the reading list voting form as soon as I start getting applications in! I know this might put people on a tight schedule to get the January selection, so I will be keeping that in mind as I try to plan for the January virtual discussion meeting. 

I will probably be posting a lot about this in the coming weeks, so if this isn’t your cup of tea, feel free to mute me! I’m very excited about this, which means I will likely be very annoying about it, so I completely understand. That being said, I will be making a post after this that will provide more information/details on the (tentative) reading list that I’ve compiled. But if you’re curious and want to know what sort of books we’ll be reading before you apply, the choices are below: 

January - New Beginnings Month 

Again, but Better by Christine Riccio (2019)

Reincarnation Blues by Michael Poore (2017)

February - Black History Month 

The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coater (2019)

Conjure Women by Afia Atakora (2020)

March - Women’s History Month/Feminism 

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah (2015)

The Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner (2021)

April - Poetry Month 

Don’t Call Us Dead by Danez Smith (2017)

Turtle Under Ice by Juleah del Rosario (2020)

May - Mental Health Awareness Month 

Fig by Sarah Elizabeth Schantz (2015)

Teach Me to Forget by Erica M. Chapman (2019)

June - LGBTQ+ Pride Month 

Between Perfect and Real by Ray Stoeve (2021)

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters (2021)

July - Drama/Plays Month 

The Ferryman by Jez Butterworth (2017) 

The Clean House by Sarah Ruhl (2004)

August - Academia/School Month

The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides (2011)

Dear Committee Members by Julie Schumacher (2014)

September - Banned Books Month 

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (2017)

George by Alex Gino (2015)

October - Indigenous People Month 

Love Medicine by Louise Erdrich (1984)

There There by Tommy Orange (2019)

November - Nonfiction/Memoir 

Finding the Mother Tree by Suzanne Simard (2021)

Aftershocks by Nadia Owusu (2021) 

December - You Decide!

The month of December will be a member-selected reading, and members may make suggestions until the first of November, then a vote will be made to decide on what book we will read for that month. 

~~~ 

Thank you for reading this far, and I hope if you have that means you might consider applying! Reading is something I am very passionate about and I’m excited to share that with this little reading community! You can find more information about the book club on my blog (and also my twitter @rhidenae) and I will be sharing information as I know it! Please check out the full reading list in the next post, and if this sounds like your cup of tea, you can find the application here! Thanks! <3 

#book club #new book club #book club applications #book club invitation #one book a month #monthly themes #virtual discussion meetings #whatsapp groupchat #novels #fiction #nonfiction #memoir #poetry #plays #books #reading #more information to follow soon! #follow me for updates!

[danjaley]

Blog-Review 2021

It’s year-in-review time, but I feel more than ever that the number of likes on a post doesn’t really tell you much. So here are twelve posts that were special to me this year.

December: Marie spinning wool

I don’t think I spent so much time in pre-production since ‘Of Chevalry’! Thanks to the amazing @nornities​  and @crowkeeperthesimmer​ I got to make wishes for the world-setting before I started shooting, which was a whole new experience! Concerning Marie and the spindle, I was in touch with @windermeresimblr​ . This is the first time I made poses that require an element drawn in image-editing. And then I also made Marie’s entire outfit (to be released later. What you see in the story is still a prototype).

November: Edward and Fergus

This was the most recent post when my brother was bored at work and looked at my blog for the first time in years. Afterwards he said I might do previsualization for movies. This made me really proud. It’s rare to get a compliment from my brother.

October: Veronaville 1914

I still think there is a story lurking there (but perhaps I’m only thinking of ‘Rilla of Ingleside’).

September: Reblogged from @rosakajo​: The Hobbyhorse Olympics

This was so cute and made my day (and it was that time in September when I was having a really bad day). Converting Toreno’s hobbyhorse with poses was also among my favourite projects 2021.

August: Revelations about the loading screen

I loved your reactions! :)

July: The girl who didn’t close her mouth

Not only did she get herself a part in Season 2.5, she also inspired a nasty line Andrew is going to deliver about the Austrian Emperor.

June: Johannes Verklempt

Even though I didn’t get the full meaning of his name, I’m still really happy with this scene. I had so much fun hiding “indecent” symbols in the picture, like the fig and the candle :)

Also I got to see the great Vermeer-exhibition in Dresden this year.

May: Andrew’s tenant-meeting

For one thing this is a scene I’m proud of under technical aspects: Everyone is seated and doing the right expressions to the right direction. Also we got a glimpse of Shiena’s background. It’s a challenge to develop the tenants along with the main plotline, without making to too confusing.

April: Fergus meets Tom

This scene was inspired by an encounter I had at a solders’ memorial once. Tom had such a small part in Season 1, but I’m still feeling a little heartbroken over him.

March: Updated TSM Lotus braid

I didn’t post much in March, but I’m glad I got this hair up to my current skill level. I wasn’t too happy with the original version.

February: Aeginets Poses

Something I’ve been wanting to do for years. I’m super happy with how this turned out. It brought the statues to life and made me see their beauty even more clearly.

January: Myself working in ceiling painting research

Becoming an art-historian gave me new confidence in real life. Next year an exhibition of our results is planned.

#year review

[insomniacowl]

Neon Genesis Evangelion analysis Chapter 16 Seele, Gehrin, Nerv and…

Seele All-Star Special?

The United nation in the world of NGE is merely an assembly of multinational military forces that finds itself struggling to keep itself together amidst the devastation and strife the Second impact has brought onto the world. As we have discussed in previous chapters, the secret organization Seele was behind this catastrophe. ‘Seele’ is a German word meaning ‘Soul’ and we are shown that there are fifteen members at its highest level. While many believe the correct number to be twelve, in just one single scene in the renewal version episode 24 when they are talking to Kaworu, we see fifteen monoliths.

Because they are loosely based off of the twelve apostles of Jesus twelve seems to be the correct number and perhaps showing fifteen monoliths were a mistake that slipped through the cracks of production. But, I argue that this is born out of attempts to legitimize the Christian symbolism more then it was intended and that there is something that could be said regarding the number of monoliths that we see here. This I will cover in greater detail in the chapter (19) covering Kaworu.

Out of Seele's members, we are familiar with five of them, namely Lorenz Keel, and four others that we do see the face of. All other members are shown only via voice coming from the monoliths that are numbered. Considering that another inspiration for this organization was the Freemasons, the numbers likely refer to their hierarchy or order of admittance. 

The face of Lorenz Keel

We are never told where Seele originated from and this secretive origin is canon; not even the residents of the world of NGE know their past. But we still know that they are influential to the point they can mobilize the UN to do their biddings and that work under the guidance of the “Scenario” that is laid out in the Dead seas scroll. The Scrolls also contains the information of the two moons, Lance of Longinus, and the number of angels they are to expect.

Some believe that the scrolls also mention Evangelions, but that is a rumor. There is no evidence to suggest that.

Let us now talk a little about Keel. What kind of person is he? We can tell from the end of Evangelion that half of his body (Maybe more) has been replaced with cybernetic implants. Perhaps the goggle that we always see him wearing might not be a goggle but cybernetic eyes that he uses. 

This points to the possibility that Keel is actually older then he seems to be, this leading some to theorize that Seele might be “A group of immortal robot-human hybrids” but due to other members of Seele not being shown in this sequence, we cannot say anything definitive about this argument

The truth of Keel Lorenz

A little side note on the End of Evangelion where we are shown Keel’s mechanical body. While many interpret it as the producers of the series showing us the long time and great effort Seele’s members have invested into achieving HIP, I believe that we can also see this as (at least) Keel being a complex character who speaks of wanting to ‘transcend’ life and death via HIP while having an obsession with life so great that he has chosen to extend his life by artificial methods

The council of HIP

Coming back to our main topic and move onto the scene where we see five of the Seele members. This special meeting is aptly naming the “Human instrumentality Project council special summon” and are conducted among five of the top members of Seele and happens five times throughout the series. The colors on each of their tables symbolize the countries that each of them comes from.

First White for Germany and Keel. Yellow for France (this character shares the VA with Fuyutsuki), Blue for Russia, Green for the U.S, and Red for the UK. In the series itself, we are only told of the country of origin of the Green in episode 14, the rest is information from the Evangelion collection book. Some would have realized that four out of the five mentioned here are the 'Permanent Members of the United Nations Security Council', the difference being China having been replaced by Germany.

Why this choice of a dark room though?

Out of the five nations represented, Germany plays a significant role in the world of Evangelion. Germany suffered one of the biggest damages of the Second Impact, has the 3rd Nerv operations base where both Kaji and Misato worked in the past. Germany was also the country of origin of Asuka and was where she received her training.

In the bible, seven eyes represent the ‘All-knowing’

This is about all we know, thus able to discuss Seele. In the end, they are sort of Deus Ex Machina that is used to explain away financial, influential, political requirements required by Nerv. Even if the viewers complain that "This is unrealistic!", Seele serves to explain it away.

Moving on from Seele, let us now talk about Seele’s subordinate organization Gehrin, and its successor Nerv.

Akagi Naoko, first-generation member of Gehrin

In German, Gehrin means ‘Brain’ and is the name of the organization that Seele gave their line of support after the Second impact. It was an organization that focused mainly on the construction of the Evangelions and was shown building its headquarters in the third Tokyo city (where current Nerv headquarters is located). It was headed by Gendou with the support of Akagi Naoko working as the head researcher. Since the nature of their activities had to be kept a secret, the public was told that Gehrin was a UN subordinate research facility focused on researching ‘Artificial evolution’.

Ironically, this cover identity falls in line perfectly with what they were actually doing. once the goals of constructing Evangelions were achieved, Gehrin disbanded and was replaced with Special operative organization Nerv run by the same people who were in charge of Gehrin. Simply said, the biggest change was their name. 

Yet the organization's name was not the only difference these two organizations had. While Gehrin focused on creating the capacity required for using Evangelions and were completely secretive of their activities, Nerv was more public (although with half-truths) of their activities and publicized goal of the organization ‘an organization focused on repelling the angels’. Across the seven operation bases around the world, they focused on achieving ‘peace for humankind’ and even had an active PR department. 

Let’s also talk a little about the iconographies of Nerv. Nerv is the root word for Nerve in English and is used in the same way. It refers to the nerve in our body but also to the ‘Nerve to do something’. As an organization that succeeded Gehrin (Brain) and carries out its plans to fight the angels, I believe the name is very apt.

The Nerv logo is a leaf of a fig tree. In the book of Genesis, Eve uses the leaf of the fig tree to cover herself when she felt shame after eating the fruit of knowledge. For Seele and Nerv that operate to undo the original sin, the choice of the fig leaf is also highly fitting.

The passage on the bottom of the logo “God’s in his heaven. All’s right with the world” comes from Robert Browning’s ‘Pippa Passes’ and is a cynical way of saying that even without a god, the world runs well enough on its own.

Commander: Since when did the UN become a toy (Unit – 02) delivery service? 

If they had the money to spend on such toys, they should send some funds our way.

While Nerv is considered the UN’s subordinate organization, it appears that this is only concerning the direction of funds flowing towards Nerv. We can see that the UN is in fact under the control of Nerv. This is shown well in Episode 8 when the commander of the fleet complains of the state of things and how powerless he feels following the orders of Nerv. Furthermore, we can see in episode 21’s newspaper that the UN moved its headquarters to the third Tokyo city for convenience. Of course, we know that Nerve has a strong influence only with Seele supporting them. When Seele stopped their support, we all know what has happened to them. So we can say that Nerv was in its best operative condition when they were fighting off the angels. After all, that was what Nerv was made for.

Calendar of important dates in Evangelion

4 Billion BC

Adam arrives on earth

Lilith arrives on earth

First Impact

 1947

Dead Seas scroll discovered

 9th April 1956

Birth of Fuyutsuki

 19th April 1967

Birth of Rokubunki Gendou

 30th March 1977

Birth of Ikari Yui

 1985

17th June Birth of Kaji Ryoji

21st November Birth of Akagi Ritsuko

 8th December 1986

Birth of Katsuragi Misato

 11th July 1991

Birth of Ibuki Maya

 1999

Fuyutsuki meets Yui

Fuyutsuki meets Gendou

Yui and Gendou begin courtship

 2000

12th September Gendou returns to Japan from Antarctica

13th September Second impact

Professor Katsuragi Dies

Birth of Kaworu

15th September India enters into war with Pakistan

20th September Old Tokyo destroyed by a nuclear bomb

 2001

14th February Valentine peace treaty signed

6th June Birth of Ikari Shinji

12th September Birth of Aida Kensuke

4th December Birth of Asuka

26th December Birth of Suzuhara Touji

 2002

Gendou and Fuyutsuki joins arctic exploration team under UN investigations council

18th February Birth of Horaki Hikari

 2003

Construction of Evan begins

Blueprint of Magi drafted

Fuyutsuki joins Gehrin

China – Vietnam war begins

Japanese self-defense force created

 2004

Death of Ikari Yui

Ikari Shinji put under the care of ‘Teacher’

Gendou proposes Human instrumentality project

Birth of First Rei

 2005

Death of Kyoko Zeppelin

Asuka begins pilot training

Misato meets Ritsuko

Misato begin cohabitation with Kaji

Construction of third Tokyo city begins

 2007

UN headquarters moved to Second Tokyo

Misato break up with Kaji

 2008

Construction of Magi begins

Ritsuko graduates Second Tokyo university and joins Gehrin

 2010

Misato and Kaji joins Gehrin

Magi completes. On the same day, Naoko and First Rei die. By suicide and straggling respectively.

Gehrin becomes Nerv

 2012

Ikari Shinji meets his father for the first time in eight-year at Yui’s grave

 2014

Ayanami Rei joins the Third Tokyo middle school

Asuka graduates university

Entry plug constructed

 2015

Angel advances

TBC Chapter 17 Angel advances

#Neon genesis evangelion #Evangelion #Eva #End of evangelion #Nge #Nagisa Kaworu #Lilith #Sci-fi #Ikari Shinji #Soryu Asuka Langley #asuka #Ayanami Rei #rei #Anno Hideaki #Katsuragi Misato #Anime #Analysis #Review

[themanicnami]

Animal Crossing Magic - Elephant Villagers

Welcome to a general Pop Culture Correspondence post based on Animal Crossing villagers found in the newest game for spell use and “in the forest” magic for those who practice it more in secret. 

This one focuses on the wonderful Elephant Villagers that can be found and invited to your island! It will list correspondences, ingredients and items you can have in real life to relate to them when doing spell work and the energies they’ll bring if you have the present in your game.

General For All Elephant Villagers

🐘 Correspondences: Wisdom, intelligence, strength, leadership, loyalty, memory, longevity, good fortune, patience, grounding

🐘 Element: Earth

🐘 Spell Types: Meditation, grounding, ancestral, memory, recall, astral, luck, prosperity, friendship, scholarly, strength and health

Specific Villagers

Axel

🐘 Correspondences: Strength, victory, athleticism, spiritual strength, will power, energy

🐘 Star Sign: Aries

🐘 Month: March

🐘 Number: 4

🐘 Crystals: Ruby, clear quartz, carnelian, seraphinite, fluorite, agate

🐘 Elements: Earth, Fire

🐘 Colors: Green, Dark Blue, Yellow, Orange

🐘 Herbs/Plants: Thyme, vervain, cinnamon, peony, apple, bay, olive, garlic

🐘 Time of Day: Mid-Day

🐘 Casting: Gesture, Hand

🐘 Magic/Spells: Luck, competitive, energy, fire magic, grounding, stabilizing, physical power

Big Top

🐘 Correspondences: Hearth, rest, grounding, centering, friendship, happiness, patience, forgiveness, sleep

🐘 Star Sign: Libra

🐘 Month: October

🐘 Number: 3

🐘 Crystals: Amethyst, Smokey Quartz, Howlite, Moonstone

🐘 Elements: Earth, Water

🐘 Colors: Gray, Blue, Teal, White

🐘 Herbs/Plants: lavender, green tea, chamomile, rosemary, gardenia, meadowsweet, baby’s breath, lettuce, sweet melon

🐘 Time of Day: Early Evening

🐘 Casting: Aromatic, Sleep, Jar/Bottle

🐘 Magic/Spells: Friendship, bonding, sleep, dreams, grounding, cottage magic, incense, healing, improving one’s communication

Chai

🐘 Correspondences: Energy, youth, friendship, creativity, love, beauty, communication, joy, nostalgia, creation, innocence

🐘 Star Sign: Pisces

🐘 Month: March

🐘 Number: 6

🐘 Crystals: Rose Quartz, Opalite, Selenite, Amethyst, Polished Glass/Sea Glass

🐘 Elements: Earth, Water

🐘 Colors: Pink, Blue, Silver

🐘 Herbs/Plants: Sugarcane, tea, strawberry, peach, fig, cloves, mint, gooseberry, mint, clover, waterlily

🐘 Time of Day: Afternoon

🐘 Casting: Baking, Brewing

🐘 Magic/Spells: Kitchen magic, Cottage magic, love, self-love, tea magic, comfort, youth, bonding, promises

Cyd

🐘 Correspondences: Strength, power, maturity, competition, banishing, focus, concentration, raw emotions, creativity, expression

🐘 Star Sign: Gemini

🐘 Month: June

🐘 Number: 9

🐘 Crystals: Ruby, carnelian, red jasper, agate, obsidian, fire agate

🐘 Elements: Earth, Fire, Air

🐘 Colors: Red, Black, Gray, Violet, Indigo

🐘 Herbs/Plants: Cayenne, black pepper, cedar, violet, clover, wormwood

🐘 Time of Day: Mid-Morning

🐘 Casting: Burning, Wand, Musical

🐘 Magic/Spells: musical, creativity, inspiration, endurance, emotional strength, physical health and strength, banishing, warding against parasites

Dizzy

🐘 Correspondences: Calm, peace, recovery and healing, prosperity, sincerity, promises, happiness, longevity

🐘 Star Sign: Cancer

🐘 Month: July

🐘 Number: 1, 5

🐘 Crystals: Blue lace agate, kunzite, citrine, jade, sunstone

🐘 Elements: Earth, Air

🐘 Colors: Yellow, gold, silver, pale green

🐘 Herbs/Plants: Daisy, sunflower, apple blossom, morning glory, cypress, dandelion

🐘 Time of Day: Evening

🐘 Casting: Written

🐘 Magic/Spells: Writing, peace, emotional healing, joy, cleansing, spiritual healing

Ellie

🐘 Correspondences: happiness, communication, friendship, family, protection, fortune, forgiveness, purity, clarity

🐘 Star Sign: Taurus

🐘 Month: March

🐘 Number: 1, 10

🐘 Crystals: Tiger’s Eye, sodalite, smokey quartz, rhodonite, larimar

🐘 Elements: Earth

🐘 Colors: Light blue, pink, brown, beige

🐘 Herbs/Plants: apple, apricot, coffee beans, allspice, daisy, marigold, mint

🐘 Time of Day: Morning

🐘 Casting: Wand, Brewing

🐘 Magic/Spells: Coffee and Tea magic, Cottage magic, family, friends, communication, meditation, cleansing, purification, wishes, animal companionship, protection of the home

Eloise

🐘 Correspondences: Confidence, expression, glamour, joy, social, success, money, bravery, intuition, justice, beauty, creativity

🐘 Star Sign: Sagitarrius

🐘 Month: December

🐘 Number: 6, 8

🐘 Crystals: Jade, brown and yellow jasper, sunstone, brown beryl, carnelian, topaz and amber

🐘 Elements: Earth, Air

🐘 Colors: Yellow, red, pink, gold

🐘 Herbs/Plants: primrose, morning glory, cinnamon, cucumber, dandelion, flax, ginseng

🐘 Time of Day: Noon

🐘 Casting: Make-Up, Mirror, Spoken

🐘 Magic/Spells: Spoken, business, money, beauty, desire, glamour, emotional strength, confidence, warding, hexing, social growth

Margie

🐘 Correspondences: beauty, happiness, good luck, celebration, tradition, success, prosperity, youth

🐘 Star Sign: Aquarius

🐘 Month: January

🐘 Number: 4, 5

🐘 Crystals: Agate, rose quartz, fluorite, lapis lazuli, amazonite

🐘 Elements: Earth, Water

🐘 Colors: Magenta, gold, blue

🐘 Herbs/Plants: Pecan, hickory, saffron, lemon, peach, sage, banana, tulip

🐘 Time of Day: Mid-Morning

🐘 Casting: Hand/Gestures

🐘 Spells/Magic: Inner Beauty, promote youth, prosperity, success, money, employment, good luck, breaking bad habits, ending bad luck

Opal

🐘 Correspondences: Beauty, love, relationships, expression, knowledge, focus, emotional strength, banishing

🐘 Star Sign: Aquarius

🐘 Month: January

🐘 Number: 3, 11

🐘 Crystals: Opal, onyx, obsidian, ruby, garnet, natural stones and rocks (in general)

🐘 Elements: Earth

🐘 Colors: Brown, gray, black, red

🐘 Herbs/Plants: Elm, Avocado, catnip, leek, plum, thyme, tomato, skullcap, lily, twitch grass (common couch)

🐘 Time of Day: Night

🐘 Casting: Written, Spoken

🐘 Magic/Spells: Love, Outer Beauty, memorization, studying, focus, banishment, cursing, binding, anti-love magic

Paolo

🐘 Correspondences: prosperity, rest, dreams, humor, relaxation

🐘 Star Sign: Taurus

🐘 Month: May

🐘 Number: 1

🐘 Crystals: Amethyst, dream aura quartz, ametrine

🐘 Elements: Earth, Air

🐘 Colors: Magenta, Lavender

🐘 Herbs/Plants: Buchu, huckleberry, lavender, lemon balm, mugwort, onion

🐘 Time of Day: Late Evening

🐘 Casting: Sleep, Sachets

🐘 Magic/Spells: Dreams, rest, rejuvenation, laughter, comfort, sleep, deep meditation

Tia

🐘 Correspondences: Kindness, blessings, peace, calm, home protection, hearth, friendships new and old, healing

🐘 Star Sign: Scorpio

🐘 Month: November

🐘 Number: 1, 14

🐘 Crystals: Milky Quartz, sodalite, celestite, larimar, chryscocolla

🐘 Elements: Earth, Water

🐘 Colors: White, Blue

🐘 Herbs/Plants: lemon, sweetpea, aloe, cotton, grass, honeysuckle, hyssop, juniper, tea, yucca, mullein, lotus

🐘 Time of Day: Afternoon to Early Evening

🐘 Casting: Brewing

🐘 Magic/Spells: Tea Magic, Kitchen Magic, protection, hearth, compassion, calming, blessing, cleansing, curse removal, physical and emotional healing, friendship

Tucker

🐘 Correspondences: Ancestors, history, memory, dreams, nature, rejuvenation, compassion, animals

🐘 Star Sign: Virgo

🐘 Month: September

🐘 Number: 5, 7

🐘 Crystals: Larimar, selenite, amethyst, lepidolite, tangerine quartz (dyed)

🐘 Elements: Earth

🐘 Colors: Brown, yellow, olive, dark green

🐘 Herbs/Plants: Mugwort, wormwood, thistle, wheat, rice, cedar, elm, marigold

🐘 Time of Day: Dawn

🐘 Casting: Dream, Aromatic, Buried

🐘 Magic/Spells: Ancestral, necromancy, spirit calling, retrocognition, past life work, dreams, rest, emotional healing, spiritual journeys, grounding, animal magic, companionship/bonding

How To Use Animal Crossing Correspondences?

🐘 There are a ton of ways! But a few suggestions are listed below for those curious:

🐘 Inviting specific breeds/individual villagers to your island for their correspondences

🐘 Using names/images of characters in spellwork/altars - especially in secret altars such as colleges or poster collections

🐘 Using character representations for substitutions in spells

🐘 Digital altar using your game/save file

🐘 Using ingredients, crystals, herbs, etc in altars or spells to represent the character for spell work

🐘 Check out @stormwaterwitch​‘s Animal Crossing Post for more suggestions!

**all information for this post I personally compiled and are based off of my personal research

Like what I post? Want to support me or buy me a delicious coffee? Feel free to check out my Ko-Fi Page!

#witchcraft #masterpost #correspondences #pop culture magic #pop culture witchcraft #pop culture #animal crossing #animal crossing magic #animal crossing correspondences #animal crossing witchcraft #acnh #ac magic #ac corrspondences #long post #elephants #animal crossing elephants #willow's grimoire

[yelyahnaloj]

Dates before Dates

It´s hard to imagine a date getting off to a worse start. And believe me, I know about dates and bad ways to start them. You could say I´ve become an expert on the subject. On my first bad date palm tree was frost damage. ¨Damn!¨ I swore, feeling so stupid. I´ve moved up from California and am still adjusting to the colder climates. I´ve specialized in tropical and semi-tropical flora and have been spoiled by backyard coffee beans and cocoa trees. Yet, even in the high desert, Oregon has more frost days than heat. My fig trees had re-budded their leaves three times already.

I´d keep them all potted in the greenhouse, however I wanted to get them used to being outside. Luckily the figs are supposedly cold tolerant, as the tag read when I got it in a local nursery. The dates... Those are imported. I planned on taking those out last, once the heat started establishing itself. I had hoped June would be safe, as already I´d only have two guaranteed frost free months of the year with July and August. I´d hoped if I planned smart, I could get them out a little early. However, looks like the meteorologist missed their mark, again.

I had back-up date palms, but a few of them were suffering from living in a cramped space. One or two weren´t getting enough sun. I dreamed of a permaculture paradise where I would create an ecosystem that makes it´s own greenhouse, but that would be years in the future!

I just stared out into space. ¨This was over before it started.¨ I thought. Ironically, the temp was climbing with the afternoon sun as I sat on a cement block in front of my greenhouse. I took off my second layer, revealing a ¨Dates before Dates¨ t-shirt I had designed. ¨I still have a few more trees to go¨. I reassured myself, though not confidently. It´s hard to think of growing anything confidently in a climate that scorches for two months straight, and has at least on frost day for the other ten months of the year. Hot, or cold. Pick one! I look out straight ahead of me. Fields of sagebrush and the occasional juniper. Unlike where I´m from, succulents and palms don´t survive here. 99% of the other plants I identify seem to be stray invasives from the homesteading days. 

¨stupid ambition!¨ I tell myself, with no one to listen but my half dead-date tree. ¨I´m sorry kid.¨ I tell it, trying to get off the dead leaves. I get up, cradling the tree back to the greenhouse. ¨Maybe in another couple of weeks...¨

I lounge in my greenhouse hammock and scroll through my graden pictures back in Cali. ¨Whatever possessed me to move all the way out here?¨ A challenge, my mind answers, and a cheaper mortgage.

#dates #date palm #short fiction #writing prompt #piccadillyinc #gardening #trees #frost #high desert #california #oregon #tropical #semi-tropical #plants #flora #cultivation #permaculture #dates before dates #humor #twist #puns #greenhouse #june #palm #growing

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Twitter ー Carla Tsukinami [2016 Compilation]

–> This post includes all tweets posted on the official Rejet Twitter account for Carla Tsukinami (@DiaLoverCarlaT) in 2016.

Shuu l Reiji l Ayato l Kanato l Laito l Subaru l Ruki l Kou l Yuma l Azusa l Shin l Kino

February 6, 2016

> The familiars are being restless.

> I should go check up on them.

February 13, 2016

> Today’s cured ham was of first-rate quality.

> I’ll have Shin arrange the same one for me.

February 14, 2016

> At times, an unfamiliar scent mixes in with the night breeze.

> Is this some sort of omen...?

March 14, 2016

> So this is an event those lowly humans thought of...

> How extremely shameless. It makes me sick.

April 1, 2016

> I find it difficult to trust Shin’s words after all.

> There is no way that Jamon Iberico will be delivered if I type a heart emoji.

> ...However, is he truly as foolish as to try and deceive me with a false story?

> ❤️

> He does not truly believe it, right? What a fool.

April 20, 2016

> Oi, you.

> You’re late, what were you doing?

> I doubt you have anything more important than me calling for you.

> If you understand, hurry over to my side. At this very instant.

> ...Those filthy pests are making a fuss.

> I have no intention of allowing the likes of Vampires to do with you as they please.

> Please consider what it means for me as the King of the Founders to have chosen you.

May 2, 2016

> Getting excited over something as simple as food.

> How foolish.

May 6, 2016

> The cured ham Shin got for me was quite delicious.

> Smoking it would not be bad either.

> I’ll have him make that.

June 22, 2016

> Water won’t come out?

> I’ll destroy everything that dares defy me.

July 7, 2016

> ★★ Ongoing Tanabata event! ★★ Gather with six or more friends and get the item “Golden Stern”! Furthermore, this is your change to obtain the limited edition rare Zum “Dunkel Drache”! Let’s Zum Zum right away! #ZumZum

--> If you thought deciphering broken Katakana English is difficult, try doing the same with German. It took me so long to figure out the names of the item and the rare Zum, only to eventually realize that they were in German and not in English.

> A passage I don’t remember writing has appeared on my screen.

> What is this about?

> Oi, Shin.

> It may be troublesome, but this might be worth to investigate.

July 19, 2016

> No matter how stormy it may be above sea level, time peacefully continues flowing in the depths of the ocean.

> Anything that occurs above the sea are nothing but trivial happenings that come and go.

> You have to always remain cool and collected like the depths of the sea. That’s what being a King is all about.

August 1, 2016

> Moving in search of refreshment is foolish.

> If you use your head, you can overcome this heat.

August 5, 2016

> Humans sporting odd outfits are headed towards the venue.

> What is that?

> I have to observe this from up close.

August 19, 2016

> I found the store where humans get those weird clothes.

> Are they planning on rebelling against us magical creatures using those?

> Just in case, I’ll investigate the inside.

September 15, 2016

> I fondly recall seeing a brightly shining moon similar to tonight’s.

> The Starry Night. I wonder if it’s that painting.

--> The Starry Night is a painting by Van Gogh. 

> By the same painter...Road With Cypress and Star is not bad either.

October 19, 2016

> Rotigenberg...Is a land that smells like rotten figs.

> Now that the Demon World is in disarray, those guys are using it an as opportunity to make their move.

> However, they are no match for me.

> The Founders will obviously be the ones seizing hegemony over the Demon World.

October 31, 2016

> There’s a Jack o’ Lantern placed here.

> Don’t tell me Shin has grown interested in a human festivity.

> I see. Because there’s a hole in the bottom, you can put it over your head.

> Absurd.

November 11, 2016

> Today it’s noisy out in the hallway regardless of the time.

> It is even reaching all the way over here in the special classroom.

> I’m having Shin scout for me just in case...But why do I feel as if he’s not planning on returning any time soon?

> Don’t tell me he is having fun by himself...?

December 21, 2016

> It seems like the Sakamaki’s are holding an event to celebrate their ancestors.

> When I think about my own ancestors...My Father was indeed astounding.

> Being the ruler of a clan is no easy feat.

> I was reminded of this once again when I was placed in the same position as King of the Founders.

> To ensure the bloodline inherited from my Father does not cease to exist, I too, have to fulfill my duties as the King 

December 26, 2016

> Yesterday night I had the minced pie Shin arranged for me.

> I did not allow myself to get tempted by a human festivity.

> However, in the human world there’s the following saying: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

> I only put that into practice.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #carla tsukinami #diabolik lovers translation #Carla's speech is so difficult to translate #I had to look up so many words lol #carla2016

[eregyrn-falls-art]

It’s Eregyrn’s 2019 Art Year in Review!

It’s funny... looking back at it, I did produce some things and learn some things I feel good about.  But, it wasn’t a very good art year for me.  I struggled for a lot of the year (and spent a lot of energy on dealing with the roots of those struggles, which is accomplishment in a different way, I guess), and didn’t get a lot done. 

I did 45 total pieces (a third of what I did last year), which included 62 individuals, 8 full pieces (by which I mean with like backgrounds and multiple figs and everything), and 1 major arts and crafts project (the canoe paddle). On the bright side, I DID get that paddle done (which was a long-standing project), and 2019 was also the year I finally got a table that worked for me, and I started doing a lot more fully digital pieces, and practicing/learning how to use it. And I tried some new things and got out of my comfort zone a little, like making stuff for my Redbubble store, or working up the gumption to open commissions.

Thanks so much for everyone who stuck around during this year!  Your comments and tags still mean so, so much.  Here’s hoping next year is a little better -- I have some stuff started already and some projects I’m really looking forward to getting to!

Link to template.

Link to last year’s summary.

Links to the individual pieces above - below the cut.

January: Happy Birthday JK Simmons! Into the Spider-Verse

February: Sea Grunks! Gravity Falls Finale 3rd Anniversary

March: Hilda and Twig

April: Illustration for “The Man Downstairs”

May: My anniversary re-draw of Stan and Ford

June: Happy Summerween from the Pines Cryptids!

July: The Pines and the Search for the Missing Grunkle! (Epilogue zine)          (actually did this in this month)

August: Happy 20th Birthday to Dipper and Mabel!

September: Painted and finished working canoe paddle

October: Feeling sick but cozy

November: Klaus portrait (actually done on 11/30, so mad that Tumblr                     categorized it in Dec. for some reason!)

December: Happy Eighth Night of Hanukkah with the Pines!

#art year in review #gravity falls #arts and crafts #klaus netflix #klaus movie #hilda the series #hilda netflix #my art

[fly-underground]

six hundred and seventy five: 2019

The annual year in review entry. I’ve written this post nine times, one for every year of this decade. I reread the very first one, from 2010, aloud to my mother the other night. My writer’s voice is so chipper in it, so young. I had just started college. In so many ways, I had barely lived. I was about to list off all the things I hadn’t yet done, as an explanation. But the truth is, even now, having done at least a few of those things, I still have barely lived. I want to remember that, to bottle up that feeling of wistfulness for a younger self, that protective inclination to wait for things to get better and worse, because I know I still need it. There is still so much I haven’t done, so much I want to do. Ways to spend the next few decades, if I’m lucky enough to have them.

Last year at this time, I think I was home alone with Cory. I can’t remember it perfectly. The past few years have blurred together in that regard. Was this the year that Mariah Carey sang badly during Dick Clark’s Rockin’ Eve? I’ll look it up after I write this. The point is, I welcomed in the new year alone, but not really, and then received a flurry of text messages from my mother and brother and so many friends. January passed in New York for the most part. I went to my favorite bar every week, first with Liz and then with Vivian. I got bad news one night about a fellowship and the next night, I found out that my fellowship paper was selected for an academic conference. I felt like Even Steven, losing one thing, gaining another. By the time I made it back to Boston, for the spring semester, it was the end of the month. That last week became so important, especially in retrospect. I met a man from the past in one of my classes, someone I knew vaguely from my time at Swarthmore. February was about him. And so was March and April and May.

I used to keep details off my blog, because I was afraid of people reading and piecing together the truth. I wanted to be polite and coy. Now, I guess I don’t really know who is still reading this. And maybe I also don’t care. If you know me, really know me, you know what happened. If you don’t, well: in February, this blast from the past man sent me an email about coffee. I said yes and we spent hours together, walking around Cambridge, the pink sky of the new moon above our heads. Then he asked me to go to the Arnold Arboretum. We never went. Instead, we talked for hours in another coffee shop. Uncharacteristically, I asked to see his place and after I met his roommates, in-between bites of fig newtons, he leaned over and whispered: Can I kiss you? His tongue slipped into my mouth in the darkness of his living room. He kissed me again on his doorstep and my head spun on the lyft ride home. I threw up hours two hours later, from the hunger induced migraine. I didn’t eat at all that day, except for the cookies in his house and the lettuce wrapped in turkey at midnight in my bed. Of course I threw up. The next week, we went out again. Later, in my bed, wrapped up in his wiry, tattooed arms, I was just happy. That was when he told me, that he’s an alcoholic and an addict. It should have changed something for me, it should have set off an alarm. It didn’t.

Four days later, he relapsed. He had cancelled and then un-cancelled our date. I met him at a Starbucks and on the T back to his place, our legs touched. I felt bad, terrible in a way that I couldn’t name. We watched some Netflix original reality show and then, in his bed, we had sex. We kissed. He told me about his history of self harm and severe mental illness. I talked about my own trauma. It was not a good date. I couldn’t sleep after. In the morning, after he made me eggs and I realized he would not be going to his next AA meeting, I asked, trying not to cry, Will I see you again? He said of course, and then he backed me into a wall and kissed me with a boyish glee. I felt relieved and stupid. Three days later, he told me he couldn’t make it to my place for dinner. He said that he felt like he had encountered me in the wrong moment of his life, that he couldn’t stop drinking, that he was checking himself into a facility, that I meant something to him. I cried that whole weekend. I barely ate. No one could help me.

It was like this for months. Every interaction between us charmed and hurt me. When he was doing well, I was joyous. Otherwise, I was miserable. I skipped meals. I had nightmares. I cried alone in my room, on walks around campus. I lost weight and inches. I felt like I was dying. Somehow, in that strange internal darkness, I realized I was not okay. I wanted to be okay, more than anything. I felt bad all the time and I was tired of feeling bad. In April, I started seeing a therapist. In May, I started seeing a nutritionist.  I went to a support group meeting and read literature about codependency. I felt like it was my fault, my emotions, my own shit. I called my mother and Vivian and Michael. I was defensive about this guy. Addiction is a disease, an addict is not a Bad Person, but he can be a deeply troubled person. 

And then, after all of that, one day in May, he told me that he had gotten involved with someone. It was the way he said it. Two weeks before, in his bed, he had asked if he could undress me. I told him then, sitting outside the Harvard Square T stop, that he was a coward. He flinched, like I hit him. I said, I thought I loved you, but you aren’t who I thought you were. I guess, I didn’t really love you then. I also said, I’m sorry if that hurt you, I don’t mean to hurt you. And he told me, his eyes glassy, that I meant something to him. Of course, I knew that. Of course, it didn’t matter.

I skipped some stuff, or I made it seem small. In May, when I went to that support group meeting, I actually spoke in the group. I said, Every day I feel this intense pressure to try my best. I want to be kind and generous and patient and brave and good. But it’s so much work, being that way. Sometimes, I can’t do it. Sometimes, I just don’t have it in me. On those days, I want to give myself permission, to simply try. On those days, “best” is not the goal. The goal is to keep at it, whatever it is. So, I went to classes and socialized and asked for help. I told my therapist in April, that coming to therapy meant that I wasn’t hopeless, that I hadn’t given up on myself. In March, I presented my paper at an academic conference, as a single author. I was also on a poetry panel with Trista, Amanda, Cyrus, and Iain. How insane to be there with them, to be included in a family of poets.

In June, the man disappeared, moved away without a real goodbye. At the time, I was devastated. I can’t describe the feeling of abandonment, but I thought: love is not for me. I thought it through June and July. I went out with a series of inconsequential men. There’s a photo I saved on my phone, after one of those dates. He wasn’t a bad guy, just boring, just rude. I came home and cried until my mascara had spread across my face. I went back to New York in July, and in between visiting with friends and volunteering at camp, I had a hilarious summer fling, not a story just something for friends to gossip about. Even then, I was lonely. I didn’t run away from it, though. I recognized it. I thought, I should keep trying. Maybe I would find a good thing.

August had me dog-sitting and transliterating Sanskrit books and gearing up for the final year of my master’s degree and looking into various doctoral programs. It was also when I went on a first date with this handsome, funny, smart, and unbelievably kind man, who would eventually become my boyfriend— how weird that word looks here, how funny that it means something to me after all these years. It has felt like emotional whiplash, this year, loving two men. Looking back, it should be easy to say oh that wasn’t really love. But that’s not true. I loved two people this year, just so differently. If the first love made me nervous, the second makes me calm. I was on a bus back to Boston after Thanksgiving and the traffic was terrible and I felt an ugly irritation bubble inside me because of my seat neighbor. I thought about my boyfriend then, his easy smile, how he rubs my back when I cough. What a small thing, but I felt lighter just thinking about it. It sounds silly and cheesy, I know. But I don’t want to belittle it, not here. I don’t think I have ever really felt so good to be with someone before. It is so new to me, this joy, this stability. I don’t want to take it for granted.

I wrote in my journal a few days ago, that I’m not sure if this relationship is good because he is so good, or because I have done the work of trying to lead a healthier life. Is this just a byproduct of one or the other? Or, as Liz says, is this what happens when two Virgos come together? I don’t know, I loved a Virgo once before, and I don’t remember ever feeling this light. This is different. He is different.

In September, I went to Denmark for my ten year reunion camp reunion. I started this blog right after that iconic summer, 16 and strangely tan from all that northern sun. From October through December, I applied to doctoral programs. Yes, again. We’ll see what happens. For the first time, I don’t really know what I want in my future, but I’m trying to trust in the universe to guide me there. I know I want love. It’s hard for me to admit that. I used to scorn women who named that in their list of goals, but it’s important, as important as everything else. I want to feel close to someone. I want a life of meaning, even if it just means something to me. I want to write. I hate that I ever stopped doing that. I feel sometimes like I have wasted my potential there, in writing professionally. I hope that’s not true. I am not ready to give this up, this dream that could still turn into something.

Something that I said a lot this year: whatever happens, I’ll be okay. During a depressive episode a few weeks ago, I thought I was losing everyone in my life, that everyone secretly hated me. What I told myself then, was not that I was crazy or wrong, but that I could deal with it. It’s true. If that happened, I could deal with it. But I hate that response. I wish I fought more. I wish I didn’t turn over so easily. Not that I think I could change someone’s mind. But I wish I didn’t just accept the worst case scenario. Anyway, maybe it’s strange even to debate this. The truth is so far from the worst case scenario. In fact, right now the truth is I am so fucking lucky. Ten years ago, I was just a high school student whining on the internet. Today, I am a Harvard graduate student; I am an author; I have a publication list that makes professors raise their eyebrows; people care about what I write and think; there are people who love me, really love me; I am healthier and happier than I ever thought I deserved to be. I worked for this. I earned it. I didn’t give up on me.

I can’t predict anything about the future. I’m always so hilariously wrong. Mostly I hope I never stop trying. 2020 still sounds like a fiction, but it’s real, it’s happening, it’s here. It’s funny, I only ever feel that surprised by joy. I hope that never changes.

#2019 #new year #new year's eve #2020 #nye #real life #life lessons #love #hope #growing up #time #memories #remember that? #milestones #grad school #friends #liz #friendship #virgo #harvard #writing #recap #health #self care #self love

[frenchibi]

3, 9, 19 and 22 pleeeeez

THANK U!!! I may have gone a little overboard answering these (sorry not sorry)

[End of the year asks]

3 Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Can I have… three? xD (Yes I can, to hell with the rules!!)

The Regrettes (they are SO FUN and I saw a concert in November that was AMAZING) - listen here!

Delta Rae (to be fair I knew one of their songs prior to this year, but then I delved further into their work and AAAAA they make such diverse music I LOVE IT) - listen here!

Dirt Poor Robins (listen. LISTEN. They make musical theater concept albums with a Tim Burton feel WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE) - listen here and here and  here! (can you tell i am obsessed with these)

((honorable mention, I got into Starkid musicals this year and I AM SCREAM))

9 Best month for you this year?

This is such a difficult question, because every month there were really cool things?? (This has been such a good year overall?? ALLOW ME TO GO OFF FOR A SEC)

((adding a cut because this got long I GOT EXCITED, my life is cool???))

In January I got to do a lot of skiing, I had a RAD new year’s party (mostly we played board games and it was exactly what I wanted), and I explored my city a lot? Also there were lots of cool new shows out to watch! AND I visited @notinvidia !!

In February I had a visit from this friend….. and he came to my choir concert at a massive fancy venue that we don’t often get to play………. and I took him skiing………………. OH WAIT THAT WAS YOU WASN’T IT :DDDD(also I was in a bit of an anime nostalgia phase and that was FUN)

March was my birthday (and I LOVE MY FRIENDS SO MUCH AAA I had such a lovely party!!!) and also a bit of a pokemon go revival phase (don’t @ me) and I went on a bunch of rly cool dates with some rly cool ladies!! Meeting new people takes a special kind of energy and I seemed to have a lot of that in March! Also, March marks the beginning of Strawberry Season and I was So Excited hafjkshfhasjkl

In April I got into starkid musicals and spent the rest of the month bingeing everything they’ve ever created - also I got back into painting and I was SO HAPPY to be creating in a medium I hadn’t stared down to death y’know? *glares at ao3 page* Also I still got some end-of-season skiing in, that was very cool!

In May I began to change my aesthetic/clothes a little and I am SO HAPPY with these changes?? Also, I went to London to see @books-and-trees and she showed me a lot of really cool queer places, lovely bookstores, AND she took me to see Les Mis live which has been a LIFELONG DREAM it was AWESOME!! ALSO I met Sandi Toksvig??? Which I still can’t quite believe?????

In June I went on a family vacation to Turkey and it was so fun?? Also I absolutely gorged myself on strawberries and figs (livin my best life tbh), I got back into lots of reading (which, YESSSS) and I finally found a shampoo to solve my hair problems?? It was a good month xD

In July I went to my city’s pride parade with my favorite people (AWESOME), I had a concert with the band I’m in (AWESOME), I allowed myself to go to my favorite art supply store and GO APESHIT (AWESOME), and also I had a brief visit from some dear friends from India!!!!! (AWESOME)!

In August, I attempted a competitive sports thing for the first time in years and I PASSED and was so proud?? Also I took my little sister on her first vacation without our parents (it was SO FUN) and I saw the musical Come From Away, a 100-minute show that had me full-on crying for 95 of those minutes. It was AMAZING. I also went hiking with friends, and I was really obsessed with hot chocolate this month? lmao

September was Friend Meeting Month!! Everyone seemed to be back in town (and by that I mean EVERYONE, I met with twelve friends I don’t often see? TWELVE??? Yeah), and also I was back to choir and band after the summer break, which always really excites me! ALSO, @annoyed-basically taught me how to cross-stitch!! I had a bit of an anxiety-high this month, but I worked it out with my therapist and it all turned out ok :D

In October - I had another band concert and a really cool writing workshop where I met some amazing women! I was also sick for three weeks (oof) but I did catch up on a lot of shows during that time (lmao) and I saw another choir in concert and really, really enjoyed it! Also, we had a Halloween game night with a spooky game and it was SO FUN!!! Also I looked up some really cool DIY stuff for christmas gifts and started CREATING things!!!

November held another trip to London - and this time I SAW HAMILTON!!!!!!!! And oh my GOD it was AMAZING?!?! (I also saw Matilda the Musical, which made me cry LOADS and was so nostalgic and WONDERFUL!) I went on a work trip with my mom, and treated myself to a massive (MASSIVE) plushie because I had a bad day - I also had a choir concert, received a lot of cool art supplies in the mail that I’d ordered months ago and forgotten about (lmao), and had some really really cool nights out with friends!!! I also bought a gorgeous vintage dress that I am incredibly excited about!! AND I went to the aforementioned Regrettes concert (They kicked ASS!!)! ….yeah I think November might be my favorite month, maybe??

December is not over yet, but it has been quite cool so far? Bit of a stressful time preparing for work things and getting gifts done, but I had another choir concert that was awesome, I’m gonna go to some Christmas markets and also I have a five day skiing vacation with my sister coming up, and another new year’s eve party that I’m organizing! Aaaa!!

In conclusion, I have been stressing about my life but ACTUALLY I am living the dream, pretty much?? dfhjklahsdfjk I had a really really good year and I was overdue for one, after the pits of despair that were 2016, 17 and 18 :’)))

19 What’re you excited about for next year?

I haven’t actually planned far ahead yet, beyond like… February? So I am excited for whatever 2020 holds beyond that? I’m sure I’ll manage to do some really, really cool things!!! So far I have a night at the opera planned with a friend (and I am so excited, I so rarely meet people who enjoy opera as well???), and also a trip to India to finally see @joanofarcticmonkeys again, AAAAA!!!!! I AM SCREAM!!!! Also I might get to meet more online friends next year??? Looking at u @floweringscrubs :D

22 Favorite place you visited this year?

I mean… I went to London a LOT (lmao) and I am obsessed with the musical theater scene there? With how every theater is individually decorated and designed and stuff?? Also I went to some really really cool bookshops… :D

Other places closer to home that will always stay favorites include the gorge I like to go hiking in, the art supply store, the bar I frequent with my friends, and the mountains for skiing!!

…ok i’m gonna shut up now lmfao thank you for asking tho and making me remember that I’ve had a REALLY COOL YEAR!!!!!

#French speaks #answered #Dima you gave me too much power here with these very good questions #enjoy my rambling lmfao

[uramis]

2018 Jamie Lore Recap (Epic Highlights) NOT CLICKBAIT (Cringe Warning) (YOU WILL CRY!)

January: Jamie’s lung fucking dies and he gets flown to hospital for like a week. He buys tickets for his first Dean Ween Group concert which makes him go fucking insane from how close it is

Februrary: Man i dont know what the fuck happened i dont remember that month. i think someone cool followed me back that month and i dunno how the fuck hes still puttin up w/ my annoying ass! wait i think that was in march or april idk

March: Jamie goes to Dean Ween Group and has the time of his fucking life. i dunno what else happens

April: nothing fuckin happened on april besides that one coppy post

May: Jamie snorts crack at Disney World and almost dies on that one dinosaur ride while his brother keeps fucking screaming rick and mhorty quotes the whole time. It was fun as hell. other lore happened this month but its SECRET LORE only known by cisphobe gang also its fuckin stupid too HAHSJKFSJKSJK

June: Jamie becomes single [cue loud-ass Piano Man by Billy Joel] and also makes the critically-acclaimed Viva La Vida Hige Omohiyama AMV

July: Jamie gets 100000 crush confession anons and becomes a chad for a few days

August: Crush shenanigans continue, what else even happened on august? was august real?

September: Jamie’s Big Fat Sweet 16 Fuckfest finally arrives, Jamie’s actual crush admits feelings and Jamie is too oblivious and shy to do anything about it for a month, and Jamie finally meets Fig and Marz in the iconic “Hosses Gang Zoo Adventure”. also jamie’s dad, Egg, is there too

October: Jamie gets a girlfriend! fuck yeah! Cas! she’s fucking epic! in a few years they will rule the world. Also Jamie went trick-or-treating as White Rammy, who will return to this world at some convention next year idk

November: In a similar fashion to the first Thanksgiving (which sucks and doesnt hold a fuckin candle to this), Jamie and the Hosses Gang called each other for like 5 or 6 fuckin days in a row. actually that’s more than the first thanksgiving dear god we were partyin. The Two Thanksgivings happen and it’s very good yum. Also Jamie gets into Rock and Rule and everyone is so fucking annoyed

December: The R&R shit is still being posted dear god help us all when will Jamie stop. He got BOTH THE BLURAY AND THE COMIC FOR XMAS TOO oh and he starts talking to cool mutuals more often which he thought he could never do... and gets smaaaash ultimate! and he will have... the most Epic new year

shoutout to all my friends. fig, marz, frankie, my MOST EPIC friend my girlfriend cas who is the love of my damn life, all of the other ones that i cant rember, all my epic followers/mutuals that i dont get why they r still following me, just all of u guys. have a good New Yeares

[covdiggingdeep]

Georgia Kelly, at home in Spon End, Coventry.

“I was very sad to give up my plot, especially because to have access to such a massive green space that’s yours, is really rare. I kept trying to do mental gymnastics to figure out ways to make it work and keep it. I really felt the health benefits of having an allotment, but I got a job I didn’t expect to get, and then it’s a trade off of where your energy goes. You only have so much. The job pays my rent - I moved here then got the job. I liked the idea of having my own private garden here. As it became more difficult to get to the allotment I started to think about what a growing space would look like at home. I got my brother and his mate involved at my allotment, they go fairly regularly and have taken better care of it in the last few months than I have in the last year or two. There’s two of them which helps. I last went up June or July. I’m sad I haven’t been able to see it. I’m super interested to see how everyone else’s allotments in the project are now. If their lives have gone back to normal and how that’s impacted not just the psychical space itself but also their mental space. That’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot. From the time when all you could do was stay inside your house, when I was in a flat-share with no garden. There’s something of that movement to a green space away from your home that feels dramatically different to here. The garden here is much more accessibly in terms of being ill but in terms of the mental space of being in a separate place where you relax, you lose it a little when you’re in your own garden attached to the house. If I was still in my flat-share I wouldn’t have let the allotment go. That’s an emotional response but practically, the same issues may have won out and I’d just be much more depressed because I didn’t have a garden! Generally I can just sit out here and forget where I put my phone, potter, sit with a coffee, you get drawn in. There’s some really old trees at the back - a fig, a holly and a shrub with gorgeous clumps of blue flowers in May. Three wood pigeons live in the more mature trees, squirrels are everywhere. If you sit here long enough the wood pigeons will come down and try and eat the caterpillars and the earwigs and there’s magpies and blackbirds and sparrows. The sheer amount of bees - I never expected this amount of biodiversity in my scraggly little garden. There’s an established ecosystem. My allotment committee were really patient and lovely with me. I had the allotment almost a year before they asked me about a plan for the plot. We sat and had a conversation and they understood my health meant I couldn’t be up there as much as the retirees. They gave me a warning in November, and another in March. In July they said they’d start the process of eviction. It’s nice to know you don’t have to answer to anyone if it’s your own garden. Here I’m growing two tomato plants, four or five broad beans and five corn plants. That’s more than I’ve been able to grow in two years of having an allotment. It’s simpler to plan, it’s more manageable, you feel like you can fill it. It was easy to get defeated at the allotment, it was insurmountable. It’s easier to engage when you have parameters to play about with.”

[waeadexz]

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[engelenaudio]

Reflection 7: An analysis of ‘modern’ plugins

My blog feed so far has been largely focused on analog emulations: arguably an accurate reflection of the current plugin market. However, the market saturation of analog emulations (no pun intended) is leaving room for developers to venture into different areas of plugin creation. Today, I want to delve into some of the most unique modern plugins released in the past few years and discover what makes them unique, if anything. This research will inspire me for future projects of my own.

When you think modern pop music, you think of heavy hip-hop, trap and r&b influences. Powerful low end, shrill hi-hat rolls and dark, sombre melodies. Selecting high quality drum and melody samples for these tracks is the modern pop equivalent of spending hours dialling in that perfect guitar sound and selecting the perfect mic for the specific guitar amp. After all, the sound source is one of the important parts of production. Because of this, many producers will inevitably collect hundreds if not thousands of samples, which will become a cluttered mess of folder, sub-folders and files. The developers at XLN Audio came up with an ingenious solution: a modern way of organising samples.

XLN Audio’s XO plugin is an AI based sample library, which offers a few main features that make it unique. Firstly, it offers a colour coded visual display of your sample collection that makes finding samples easier than anything else I have seen. Each colour represents a specific type of drum sound.

(Fig 1.1: XO’s visual interface.)

XLN Audio have made adding samples to this interface extremely easy. A simple drag and drop employs an AI which not only categorises the samples by type of drum, but groups together samples with similar timbres, so that ‘When you hear something you like, have a look around. You might find something even better close by.’ (XLN Audio, n.d.). Popular music journal Computer Music reported ‘Clearly, the accuracy of the import analysis algorithm in assigning instrument types to samples is crucial in all this, and we can report that XO is very impressive in this regard.’ (Computer Music, 2019) Additionally, XO features a sequencer, multiple audio effects, and comes with up to 8000 samples itself. 

My initial exploration of XO made me believe that this was an incredible quality of life improvement plugin for beat makers all over the world, however, at a full price of €180, I questioned whether a sample organiser was worth this much money. Being aimed at the increasingly growing market of beat makers, I doubt that many will consider this a worthy investment when just starting out in music production. Bryan from Everything Recording mentioned further that its additional sequencing features are limited. ‘having only eight slots for instruments is a little annoying’ and ‘Having only two bars and one loop per preset is cumbersome.’ (Bryan, n.d), leaving much to be desired from XO as a stand alone application outside a DAW.

Overall, XO stands out as a unique and useful product, but it’s likely that its price tag will make the majority of its target audience lose interest. Attack Magazine aptly summarise it: ‘if you can afford it – and once you’ve learned how to use it – XO presents little danger of wasting time.’ (Attack Magazine, 2019) For me, XO proves that a good user interface is just as important as the inner workings of a plugin, and I will make sure my future projects reflect that.

Modern plugin creation for me is all about encapsulating the full potential of digital technology, and pushing it to its limits. No other plugin demonstrates this more the Softube’s Weiss DS1-MK3 Mastering processor. What stands out to me is that unlike analog emulations where the argument can be made that the emulation will never sound exactly like the hardware, in the case of the DS1-MK3, Softube’s recreation is ‘A line-by-line code port of the original digital hardware’,’Officially licensed and endorsed by Daniel Weiss himself’. (Softube, n.d.) Therefore, this €399 version of the $10,000 hardware is an exact replica for a fraction of the price. This makes it instantly very attractive for mastering engineers that want the digital transparency that this unit is famous for, but for much less money. The digital prowess of this plugin is supported by legendary mastering engineer Bob Katz who claims he uses it ‘on over 90 percent of my mastering projects.’ (Katz, B., 2003)

Along side the reduced price, the plugin features presets from Bob Katz, allowing users to experience the combination of top mastering expertise and top mastering equipment, right on their computer, as well as being able to load multiple instances of the plugin and no extra cost.

(Fig 2.1: Weiss DS1-MK3 Plugin by Softube.)

For me, plugins like these offer state of the art digital processors to a much larger audience. I personally would like to see more plugin versions of modern digital hardware so that they are more affordable and can be used in as many instances as the users CPU will allow. However, to criticise the DS1-MK3 plugin, many top engineers will always prefer hardware over software: 'engineers love the visceral feeling of pushing real buttons and turning real knobs.’ (McDonough, M., 2017), so when turning a hardware unit into a plugin that doesn’t suffer from analog noise, zero recall ability and all other such negatives that make digital audio processing (DSP) better, you’re left with a plugin that doesn’t do much extra and is now another CPU eating processor that you need to control using a computer mouse instead of knobs. Essentially, for a top mastering engineer who can afford the hardware DS1-MK3, there is almost no reason to go for the plugin over the hardware unit, making the plugin somewhat redundant.

Overall, Softube’s DS1-MK3 presents high quality DSP for a fraction of the usual price, despite removing the knobs and replacing them with pixels on a screen. I believe it to be a good example of useful and modern audio processing.

This research has been a valuable insight into avenues of the plugin market that don’t concern analog emulation. It has helped inspire me to begin planning a DSP project that offer similar modern approaches to audio and are not immediately lost in the sea of emulations, as I would like to build a plugin (or plugins) for my Final Project in Semester C.

References:

XLN Audio (n.d). XO. [Online] n.d. Available from: https://www.xlnaudio.com/products/xo [Accessed: December 13th 2020]

Computer Music (2019). XLN Audio XO review. [Online] July 21st 2019. Available from: https://www.musicradar.com/reviews/xln-audio-xo [Accessed: December 13th 2020]

Bryan (n.d). Review: XLN Audio XO [Online] n.d. Available from: https://everythingrecording.com/review-xln-audio-xo/ [Accessed: December 13th 2020]

Attack Magazine (2019). XLN AUDIO XO [Online] June 12th 2019. Available from: https://www.attackmagazine.com/reviews/gear-software/xln-audio-xo/ [Accessed: December 13th 2020]

Softube (n.d) Weiss DS1-MK3 [Online] n.d. Available from: https://www.softube.com/ds1 [Accessed: December 13th 2020]

Katz, B., (2003) Weiss DS1-MK2 Dynamics Processor. [Online] July 2003. Available from: https://www.weiss.ch/assets/product/6/DS1-katz.pdf [Accessed: December 13th 2020]

Figures:

Fig 1.1: ‘XO’s visual interface‘ [Online] Available from: https://www.xlnaudio.com/products/xo [Accessed: 13th December 2020]

Fig 2.1: ‘Weiss DS1-MK3 Plugin by Softube’ [Online] Available from: https://www.softube.com/ds1 [Accessed: 13th December 2020]