#and now seeing my fave characters go through this shit too??? fuck off

[xhanisai]

every time i (a mixed race girl) come across a post that’s basically saying that Marinette, a mixed race girl, isn’t Chinese enough, my urge to set hellfire on this world increases by 100000000%.

#ml fandom salt #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug and chat noir #this isn't just white people saying this shit i've seen non whites going around with this #and ofc it's always the americans #more like AMERICUNTS FUCKS SAKE #listen i don't mind if you're like 'ooo i like marinette with brown eyes or grey eyes' or if you're like #'hey i made this neat redesign of marinette and she looks a bit more chinese here' #BUT #i can't stand it when people go around saying SHE SHOULD LOOK/ACT more CHINESE #FUCK OFF #my family and I are decendents of east asia and guess what SOME OF US HAVE BLUE EYES #and miraculous is a FICTIONAL show #judging someone's race by eye colour or eye SHAPE is stereotypical #i am not chinese enough to fit in china and i'm not british enough to fit in england and i'm not south asian enough to fit there or south #east asian enough to fit there DESPITE being a mix of all of this shit #like it is bad enough growing up being mixed and being told by so many people i'm not X enough #and now seeing my fave characters go through this shit too??? fuck off #ugh i'm so tired #fuck this fandom sometimes

[multifandom--mess]

Hannigram Fic Recs! pt.2

Here it is, the big fat fic recs post I've been putting off for like two months but at least that means I had time to read a shit ton of fics. I made sure to do a mix of short and long fics this time around since the first part were all long ones. Enjoy!

part 1

》 The Lamb and His Monster by petrodactyl352 (Explicit)(104k)

Will has always been drawn to the macabre. The proverbial flame upon which he has burnt his fragile moth’s wings time and time again, it’s why he had fallen in love with Florence and why he alone seems to see the beauty in the grisly but exquisite work of Il Mostro. But when he meets a young man in the Uffizi Gallery whose sketchbook is filled with nothing but page upon page of intricate renditions of the Primavera drawn in reverent strokes of pencil, he realizes he may not be alone in his fascination with the Monster. As they lift veils and scale forts and slowly begin to understand each other, Will gets a taste of exactly how bright the cinders of intrigue can burn—and how quickly they can kindle into an inferno of obsession.

(Young hannigram in Florence ahhh this is seriously one of the best fics i've ever read it had to be at the top of the list)

》 Spectral Hearts by mattHughdancy (Explicit) (16k)

Will has a meltdown at a crime scene. Guess who’s called in to help.

(Another top fave of mine they are so fucking cute in this fic 🤧 features autistic Will, and Hannibal just loves him so much oh my goddd my heart exploded reading this)

》 lay like a flood spills away by bleakmidwinter (Explicit)(35k)

Will Graham meets Hannibal, a frequent cruiser, at an open-minded nudist lake. Despite his reservations, Will is drawn to him, but is eventually forced to question his mysterious nature when the lakeside regulars start to go missing.

(I loved this one bc what better setting than a nudist lake. This is just gay as hell honestly lmao bc the lake is all dudes and Will is "straight" at the beginning until he meets Hannibal and it's all downhill from there. Definitely give this one a read it had some hilarious moments too)

》 Doing Things That Friends Don't Do by HigherMagic (Explicit) (39k)

A year after the fall, Will and Hannibal have settled into a fairly blissful, domestic harmony. But Will's imagination has never let him simply enjoy what he has - why should it start now?

(Basically Will trying everything in his power NOT to have sex with Hannibal but of course we all know he can't keep it together. They are so horny for each other in this i died laughing so many times. Also this author is such an amazing writer expect multiple recs from them in this post)

》 Railroad Romance by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles (12k)(Explicit)

Hannibal is still Hannibal, and Will is still Will. Except Will is not part of the FBI and they meet on a two day train trip from New Orleans to Baltimore.

(A strangers to lovers meet-cute on a train. Lots of fluffy moments and of course train sex ensues)

》 Three Stars by beforethedawn (94k)(Explicit)

Three months after the fall, Jack finally tracks them down in Canada and Will and Hannibal have to make a run for it, slumming it through America in three star hotels and eating sub par food.

(Hannigram roadtrip!! This fic was so fun I loved it. They take on the identities of some familiar Mads and Hugh characters ;)

》 Unexpected Delight by HigherMagic (Explicit) (61k)

Will has a kink that he’s deeply ashamed of. Unbeknownst to him, Hannibal has the same or a similar/compatible kink. They get together, and Will is going out of his way as he usually does to seem like his sexual tastes are as “normal” as possible. As a result, Hannibal gets the idea that Will is super vanilla and maybe a little prudish, and not wanting to scare him off, is also keeping his kinky side on the DL. This goes on for while, with them each trying super hard to hide how kinky they are and act as “vanilla” as possible, to hilarious results, all while privately thinking the other one would be super freaked out if they knew since they’re obviously so sweet and normal.

(This whole thing is literally ALL smut 😭😭 but Han and Will love each other to death and the sex is so good y'all omg I had to stop reading multiple times to catch my breath)

》 The Substitute by Devereauxs_Disease (Explicit) (10k)

When Hannibal tells Will he's sick, Will is skeptical. Before he knows it, he's laying in a hospital bed and being told he's going nowhere for two weeks. Will is distraught until Hannibal swoops in and offers to take over Will's courses at the FBI Academy. Will doesn't mind Hannibal showing up every night with a home-cooked meal, but he might just resent Hannibal becoming the most popular teacher at the Academy in just two weeks...

(A seaon 1 au if Hannibal wasn't an asshole had told Will about the encephalitis. This is hilarious tho because the students don't like Will no more when he comes back and they keep asking about Hannibal 😭😭 poor Will lmaoo)

》 When This Old Tired Body Wants to Sing by KareliaSweet (Explicit) (7k)

“Fuck me quicker, darling,” he purrs with liquid insincerity, “God forbid you see my face.” Will never touches him unless it is in the dark. In the daylight he is a ghost.

(Will being an asshole and only fucking Hannibal in the dark ugh 🙄 but things work out eventually so don't worry!)

》 Maybe Tomorrow by Shotgun_sinner (Explicit) (26k)

After recovering from their tumble off a cliff, Will agrees to get Hannibal to Portugal, where the good doctor can start a new life for himself. In exchange, Will can take the boat and return to his life, or start over himself. A storm hits on the open water, leaving them stranded somewhere in the Azores. With no one else on the small island, they're forced to work together for survival, and work through their violent past in order to get along.

(A survival au! I LOVED this and author is another fave of mine. I go crazy for a good stranded on a deserted island trope and this did not disappoint. Also there is an insanely funny part where I absolutely DIED. You'll know when you read it 💀💀)

》 I've Always Been A Daughter by air_of_the_Waterfall (44k)(Explicit)

It's been a month since Will and Abigail ran away with Hannibal. Living in a safe Canadian town, Will and Hannibal are free to explore their newfound intimacy and Abigail has a chance at the future she craves. However, upon meeting Hannibal’s sister Mischa and her daughter, loyalties are tested and insecurities run rampant. The Lecters have an undeniably dark past, and as Abigail and Will fall deeper into its truths, Hannibal’s manipulation and misguided love come to light more clearly than ever before.

(This fic is truly a hidden gem I am so glad I found it. Murder family post-mizumono and also MISCHA LIVES. The plot is so well written and I love Mischa's characterization. Definitely give this one a read, yall it is SO GOOD it deserves so much love)

》 Home is Not a Place by Shotgun_Sinner (11k)(Explicit)

Post-Fall, Hannibal recovers from his injuries. Will takes care of him, and their relationship evolves much more easily than Hannibal thought it would. The only issue is that Will is a constant presence, and he hasn't had alone time in three years. It ends up not being an issue at all.

(This one is so sweet. Basically Hannibal wants to jerk off but he can't because Will is just always there and he hardly gets a moment alone and he'll feel bad for telling him to go away 😭😭 but they finally get together in the end

》 Held in the Highest Regard by HigherMagic (12k)(Explicit)

What happens when a group of serial killers pick the absolute worst targets? Will is already having a pretty rough night, since Hannibal proposed to him and Will said 'No' for reasons he still hasn't quite figured out yet. It's not their fault - they couldn't have known - but sometimes people have to learn lessons the hard way, and Will could definitely use some stress relief.

(If you are familiar with the movie 'The Strangers' then you'll really like this one. I reread it like three times it was so good. Shit had me tweaking omg this is like the perfect au for them)

》 Green-Eyed Monster by CestPasDuBaudelaire (53k)(Explicit)

Will and Hannibal have settled in Cuba and, for the past year, they have been living their happily ever after in a small hidden community for retired wanted criminals. However, at the hazard of a gathering, Will is faced with an unbelievable fact, other members of the community may also fancy his monster of a husband. Then comes Will's spiraling, as he learns to come to terms with a disastrous, chaotic and slowly overwhelming possessiveness. And of course, feelings are never easy to deal with, when Hannibal is involved. A smut character study in three acts exploring Will's possessiveness.

(Top!Will my beloved. Don't let the title fool you, this was so fun to read and I love the community for wanted criminals idea. And possessive Will is always a treat ;)

》 Haunted by Anonymous (165k)(Explicit)

Still recovering from their fight with Dolarhyde, Will and Hannibal escape to New Orleans with Chiyoh's help. But Will is still struggling to accept Hannibal and his own darkness, something that Hannibal has every intention of helping him overcome...

(And finally I leave you guys with this monster of a fic. So sad that the author chose to go anon but if they somehow see this I hope they know how much I love this story. Will is struggling and Hannibal is an asshole at certain points but when is he not? Lots of references to Will's past too and some stuff about his mom that's very interesting)

I hope you guys enjoy these stories as much as I did. If you read any and want to discuss my messages and ask box are always open! ♡♡♡

#hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #murder husbands #hannibal fanfiction #hannigram fanfiction #hannigram fic #hannibal fic #ao3 #fic rec

[bvtbxtch]

Checkmate. | Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: You thought your night couldn't get much worse, until a certain metalhead makes you an offer you can't refuse.

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, Fem!Reader x Original!Jock!Character, minimal usage of Y/N.

Series Warnings: MDNI!!!! 18+ smut, fluff and angst, mentions of drug and alcohol use, Eddie and Reader partake in substances and he drives, both give consent under the influence but no one is so intoxicated they don't know what they're doing, mentions of physical harm towards reader and domestic violence if you squint. Ageless or minor blogs will be blocked.

Word Count: 9.8k (Shes a mammoth, of course)\

A/N: Hello my babies thank you for coming to my ted talk. Here is my next series and I have no idea how long it will be thank you kindly. This man has just had a chokehold on my brain. This fic was inspired by the song Sex by the 1975 and Checkmate by Conan Gray. I want to say a special thank you to @darknesseddiem for being my sweet angel baby and chatting with me through some hard shit!! Love you lots! I hope you all enjoy!!

Going to tag some mutuals and my fave blogs because I would love feedback and ideas on what you would like to see next!!

@andvys @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @eddie-munsons-mullet @ali-r3n @lovebugism @trashmouth-richie

“Fuck” you gasp as you frantically look in all of your jacket pockets for any remnants of a cigarette. Your eyes clouded with tears as you tried to take deep breaths. You wish that the ground would swallow you whole as drunk teens climbed over you on the front steps of whoever’s house was hosting this weekend’s rager. You wished you talked your boyfriend out of this party - hell you wish that you were at home alone. That way this mess would have been avoided, or it could have happened in the comfort of your own home - or without being humiliated by most of the people you went to highschool with. 

You laid on Billy’s unmade bed, pulling back on your shirt and fixing your panties that had been hastily pushed to the side.

“So, is that really what you’re wearing tonight?” the blonde studied you through the mirror on his wall. He had pulled his old Hawkins tee over his curls and smoothed it over his toned stomach. 

“Wha- what’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” You peered down at your bare legs and suddenly felt self conscious. You had picked out Billy’s ‘favorite’ plaid skirt (for easy access) and paired it with an oversized one shoulder tee. Your previously perfected curls stood in a halo of frizz after your pre party escapades (which if you were feeling honest with yourself, were more pleasurable for one of you).

“It just, is like the same thing you always wear, babe. Show off that bod you got, you look like a prude” Billy sneered. You rolled your eyes as you readjusted the shirt you had donned. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t go tonight,” you mumbled. 

“What are you talking about?” the mullet of curls whirled around and glared at you. “This is the biggest party of the summer and I need to make an appearance. You know people will ask questions if you aren’t there.” He stalked up to the bed and stood over where you sat. He grabbed your chin and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. “Plus what happens when I get too drunk and need to relieve myself in the bathroom, huh?” He snickered as he grabbed your hands and pulled you up. “Now get out of that pretty head of yours and get ready to have fun. It's like all of our favorite things. Booze, friends, music, me…” He pulled you to the door and smacked your ass as you left, you let out a yelp and a sigh as you walked to his front door. 

“Those sound like all of your favorite things.” You mumbled, but the boy did not hear you. The two of you pulled out of his driveway and raced through the sleepy streets of Hawkins.

“Who’s all gonna be there tonight?” You asked. You weren't necessarily miss congeniality when it came to the Hawkins High population. You often found solace of the likes of Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley; Steve being your neighbor since you moved to town, and Robin hardly ever leaving his side. They were the few other people who you felt fully comfortable being yourself around.

“Well of course all the boys are gonna be there, I think Harrington said he might show up, and Chrissy and the cheer girls will probably go, and… Heather will be there”He stuttered on Heather’s name, which made you look over at him. His cheeks cast a light pink glow and he glued his eyes to the road. He had never mentioned her by name before. She had always been a part of the ‘popular girls’. You were a secure person but you had a knot in your stomach. You hadn’t seen as much of your boyfriend lately, apparently going to show his alumni support at basketball games, or out with the boys. He had come back to your bed with a few suspicious looking marks on his chest and neck that he had shook off as bruises from golf with the guys. You weren’t dumb; you had your suspicions, but you found it easier to not confront him now. College applications had just gone out, and you had heard back from few. You were ready to leave Billy Hargrove and this shitty town, but the prospects were dwindling and even if you didn’t have a future, you would have someone to be with in town. You felt the stomach acid rising in your throat, making you feel sick.

“Heather, huh? You haven’t mentioned her before”

“Yeah, she has been at a few shindigs before… do you not remember?” Billy’s voice was hoarse, he was getting defensive. “Why are you getting so jealous?”

“Whatever, Hargrove. Let’s just drop it.” You had minimal energy to fight with him.

“No seriously, do you have a problem with her? Like, she’s just a girl, we’re dating. Do you seriously not trust me? Because I’ll stay stuck to your side all night if that’s what you fucking want.” His voice continued to rise as he babbled.

“Jesus fuck! I don’t care that much! You just haven’t mentioned her before. Just drop it” You scowled and turned your body to stare out the window. 

“No, you look at me” The man grabbed your arm and pulled you hard towards the console of his car. “Do you fucking think I’m stupid? I’d drop your sorry ass before I went on to someone else - and this kind of shit makes me want to drop your ass so you better fucking behave because you know what happens if I fucking dump you.” His eyes were now fixed on yours instead of the road. You pulled your arm away with no avail 

“Jesus, fine, I get it! Now let go, you’re hurting me” He let go of your arm as you threw your body towards the car door. You let a small ‘asshole’ slip out of your mouth, but he did not hear you. You rode in silence to the party. When the car stopped you opened your door and slammed it shut, leaving Billy to scramble out of his car after you. He caught up to you and grabbed your wrist.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He pouted

“Yeah whatever, let’s just drop it, okay? We’re here for a good time” you mumbled. You would do anything to get out of his grip. You needed a drink. He pulled you into his chest and planted a sloppy kiss to your mouth. He tried to stick his tongue in your mouth to deepen the kiss but you pulled away from him and led him inside with a tight lipped smile.

As the hours bled together like the alcohol on the linoleum, your brain begins to go fuzzy. Your boyfriend who was, at one time, hanging off of you, was nowhere to be found. You excuse yourself from the flip cup tournament occurring in the dining room to go to the bathroom and ground yourself from the alcohol that you had consumed. You came face to face with a girl with beautiful brown locks and big brown eyes. As soon as she looked up at you, she cast her gaze to the floor and scurried past you, a guilty smile plastered to her lips. As you made it to the end of the hallway, you were met with your boyfriend's figure. His eyes bulged out as you now stormed towards him; his hands flew to his neck.

“What the fuck is this?” you clamor, the alcohol fuelling your courage and anger. 

“What are you talking about?” You pushed Billy into the wall and grabbed his wrists. When his neck was freed, you were met with sprinkles of violet bruises and lipstick.

“Are you fucking kidding me” you laughed dryly. You pulled Derek’s shirt up to see the marks lead down his stomach and disappear at the hem of his jeans. You let go and your hand wound up to slap his cheek. He takes the hit and stalks after you as you trudge back to the party.

“Y/N wait!” Billy’s pleas garner a crowd, drunk party goers begin to form a snickering gang around the two of you.

“Tell Heather I say hey, and stay the fuck away from me okay?” You turn on your heel and head for the front door.

“You want a puff of mine?” You hear a familiar voice ask you. You feel a soft thump and warmth beside you. You look over and you are met with dazzling chocolate brown eyes, a mop of curly bangs and a lopsided smile. The boy has a joint pinched between his fingers and is holding it between the two of you. You can smell the alcohol and weed radiating off of him, but unlike most of the people here, it brings you comfort. You don’t condone taking anything from strangers but tonight you needed it - and he wasn’t a stranger. Not really.

“Thanks” you whisper as you take the joint from his hands and place it in your mouth. The boy flicks his zippo and holds it to the joint in your mouth. When he pulls away, he spends what seems like hours studying your face. Your face was flushed, but you were pale. Your brows were furrowed in (what he thought was) the most beautiful way. Your lipstick had left a distant stain on your mouth and your mascara had just begun to smudge under your eyes. You looked tired, and you had obviously been crying. Eddie thinks you’re the most interesting and beautiful person he has seen tonight. He had thought you were beautiful when he had bumped into you in the hallways, or shared a friendly wave under the bleachers during a smoke break; but seeing you up close was worlds different. He feels addicted to your face already - maybe it was the beers and weed talking, but he couldn’t look away.

“How much do I owe you, Munson?” you mouthed through the joint.

“Owe me? Princess, you wound me! This one is free of charge.” Eddie quips as he throws his hands to his heart. He smiles as he plucks the joint from your lips, takes a puff, and places it back in your mouth. As little as you had talked to the metalhead in school, you remembered always being intrigued by him. Your gaze often rested on him as he made an ass out of himself. You often caught yourself smiling with him. His face always felt so kind and welcoming, a welcome change from the cruel judgmental stares of the population of Hawkins High. The only reason you weren’t eaten alive was because of Billy. Without him, you would have been the freaky new girl.  But you also knew that Eddie Munson’s reputation preceded him: although he was labeled the freak, he was one of the few drug dealers in Hawkins, which also made him a hot commodity with the female population - and was masterful with skills that pertained to them (apparently).

“Totally free, huh? No strings attached?” you teased as you knocked your shoulder into his. 

“Nah, pretty girl clause. I don’t charge for them… especially when they’ve been crying” His smile fell as he examined you. You met his eyes briefly but you couldn’t keep his gaze.. You glued your eyes to your sneakers. Eddie grabbed your chin softly and raised your face to meet his. 

“Pretty girls like you shouldn’t be outside of a party crying, you should be making the boys inside cry” he thumbed at a rogue tear that fell down your face, then grabbed the joint from you again. Your breath hitched as he blew smoke back at your face. 

“Tell me what’s going on.” You have no idea why, but you trusted him with your predicament. 

“My-my boyfriend… I just caught him with another girl.” You laugh at yourself as the words fall out of your mouth. You never thought you would be the pathetic girl babbling to someone about her shitty life, but here you are. Eddie’s eyes harden and he begins to tense his jaw. 

“Who’s your boyfriend?” he growls. 

“Umm, his name is Billy”

“Fuck- no way, Billy Hargrove did this to you? What a fucking prick! What are you gonna do?”

“Nothing tonight. It’s not even worth it.” You slump. Wiping your eyes, you look back up to Eddie and smile. “Sorry, don’t mean to be a buzzkill. You can go back inside if you want, Eddie. I shouldn’t be bothering you with my shit.”

“Sweetheart, wherever you are feels like it's the most interesting place to be… now if I go inside, I would really hope that you would join me because the two of us can’t have much fun at this party if you’re out here alone, now can we?” Both you and Eddie blush furiously. His words went straight to the pit of your stomach. You didn’t know what you deserved for him to be so nice to you, but you hope that it doesn’t stop. Eddie jumps up onto his feet and stands in front of you, his hands reaching out to yours to pull you up. For a split second, you felt unsure of yourself. You stopped before Eddie led you back up the porch steps towards the house. 

“You aren’t being nice to me just to get in my pants are you, Munson?” Although you try your best to hide it, insecurity seeps through your voice. 

“Normally I would be flattered, but I can tell that’s the opposite of what you need right now. If you would let me, Y/N, I would love to go shotgun a beer with you and have fun at a party, that’s it.” Eddie’s smile is genuine. His eyes are soft and he smiles warmly at you. For the first time in what seemed like hours, you smiled a genuine smile. With a small ‘lets go’, you let Eddie lead you back into the party.

After a few more drinks, you find yourself across from Eddie in a circle of drunk teens. A beer bottle centered between all of you. You were never one for drinking games like this, but tonight you need a change, you want to do something you normally never would, thanks to your new drinking companion. What you don't anticipate is your boyfriend entering the circle, Heather not far behind him. Your gaze hardens as you see him fold his legs into a seated position. He looked angry at you, which fuelled your rage even more - how the fuck could he be mad at you? Your eyes peel from his form, to the lanky metalhead sitting across from you. He mouths the words ' it's okay’ then sends you a wink, your posture relaxed and you focus all of your attention at the mop head across the circle from you, not the boy you thought loved you. 

A few rounds of the bottle, a few rounds of kisses, a few rounds of laughs. You are enjoying reacting to what was happening in the game of spin the bottle until the glass in the center lands on you. Time seems to stand still as you feel your heartbeat in your ears. Eddie’s face drops as he watches you, sensing your panic. He looks down at his hands and picks his thumbnails, not wanting to see the hot mess that was going to unfold in front of him. He was too pissed at your boyfriend to watch you - a literal angel - kiss someone who had hurt you so bad. 

You felt your eyes beginning to well up with tears, feeling like you only had one choice in the circle full of strangers. You could hear some of them laughing at you - obviously knowing of what had transpired between you and Billy before. You look around desperately, hoping there is some way you could take your leave, then you make eye contact with the boy that had his stare trained on the floor. Your heart pounds harder as you unravel your legs and crawl across the circle - in the opposite direction of where your boyfriend was sitting. There are gasps and oohs escaping the crowd as you inch your way closer to the boy you were going to kiss. Eddie looks up at the commotion and instantly turns flush as his stare meets yours. You seem calm, but Eddie’s hands begin to shake. He makes the mistake of glancing over at Billy, who is bright red and clenching his fists. Was this really happening? 

Eddie uncrosses his own legs and leans back on his hands, ready to receive you. As you meet his legs, he holds his breath. You slink up his body and when your face was close enough for Eddie to feel your breath on his face, you part your legs and sit into his lap. Eddie’s breath immediately hitches as everyone in the room falls silent. His arms fly to hover around your waist as your arms wrap around his neck. You gently lean in and close your eyes, giving Eddie a chance to pull away if he wanted to (but lord knows he didn’t). Your lips meet softly and you feel everything around you still. Eddie’s lips are chapped, but still feel soft against yours. You move your face to the side slightly for Eddie to deepen the kiss. His tongue glides across your lip as a permission to deepen your embrace further. You hum into him and he takes advantage, his tongue softly roaming the inside of your mouth, battling your own tongue. Your stomach backflips as Eddie grabs the side of your face, your squirm in his lap causes him to moan softly into your mouth. Everything felt spinny in the best way possible, you grab onto Eddie as you are afraid the euphoria was going to send you floating away. Suddenly, you feel a tight grip on your arm and you are being pulled to your feet from behind. You’re separated from Eddie with a smack of your mouths, and you are left to gaze at him in total awe as you are dragged out of the room backwards.The grip on your arm pulls you around the corner and it wasn’t until Eddie was fully out of sight that you felt any sort of panic.

Your back hit the wall with a thud and you were instantly trapped between two large biceps. You stare up at furious baby blue eyes glaring back at you. Billy’s hot breath fans over your face.

“What the fuck was that, Y/N? Are you fucking kidding me?” he slurs through gritted teeth. The vein on his neck was beginning to pop out. You’ve seen this vein many times before. The alcohol and intoxicating kiss were going to your head and the idea of your hypocrite boyfriend getting mad at you for a stupid spin the bottle game after he had fucked someone else gave you the giggles. You let a small one slip past your lips. Billy slams his hands against the wall that leaves a ring in your ears and your chest tightening. Your giggle fades and smile drops instantly. 

“Fucking humiliate me like that again and I will fucking ruin you. You got it? You wanna do anything in this town, you want to see anyone, I’ll make sure you can’t. University? That fucking gross record store you work at? Gone. I’ll fucking own your life if you do that shit to me ever again. I can’t believe you would do something like that to me.”

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me, right? You’re the one that’s mad at me?” you sneer. Derek takes a step back like you have punched him in the gut. “Go cry on Heather’s shoulder, because as far as I’m concerned, I’m single tonight. Fuck my life up just as hard as you fucked Heather in the bathroom.” The furious figure's hand forms a hard fist at his side. He looks like he is getting ready to wind up and hit you and you wince prematurely in anticipation…

Eddie sits in the circle completely stunned; your lips still burned onto his. It took him several seconds for his breathing to steady and for him to realize where he was: in front of a crowd of drunk teens that now look at him wide eyed, saying nothing. It also took him moments to realize that you were in fact sitting on his lap, but now were not. He runs his hands through his curls and offers his audience a tight lipped smile as he leans over and spins the bottle again. He rises from his seat and sets off after your figure, which had just disappeared around the corner. He floats over to where he could see your shadow, knees still shaky from going weak underneath your body. What he is greeted with snaps him out of his daze.

“Hey, is this dickhead bothering you?” a welcome voice rang in your ear and saves you in the knick of time. You look over to the side and see the once soft and dazzling brown irises are cold, his lopsided smile curved into a frown and his jaw was tense. Billy’s eyes meet with Eddie’s and you swear you see smoke coming out of his ears. 

“Fuck off, Munson. This is between me and my girlfriend , so why don’t you find some other desperate slut to take home and leave her alone, okay?” He pushes two fingers into Eddie’s shoulder.

“Woah, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” you snap.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. The meathead needs to take his aggression out on someone, apparently the fuck in the bathroom didn’t do it for him” Eddie snarls, puffing his chest out, inviting Derek to make a move. 

“Sweetheart? I’ll fucking-” Derek goes to swing at the metalhead’s face but you insert yourself between the two of them. 

“Both of you, back the fuck up. I am so not in the fucking mood.” You push Eddie away, towards the front door. Eddie’s eyes are trained on the enraged boy, ensuring he stays planted in the hallway. Your boyfriend’s hands are held in fists so hard that you imagine there’s crescent shapes etching into his palms. Once you were a safe distance away, Eddie’s gaze shifts to your hands pushing on his chest. He grabs them and pulls you to the entryway of the house. His eyes soften when they land on you, his face now painted with worry.

“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he? I’ll fucking kill him if he-”

“Relax, Munson. I’m okay. He’s pissed. I guess he has the right to be.” 

“Are you kidding? You have every right to be pissed at him! The way I see it, you just got revenge - which I am happy to have helped facilitate by the way.” To Eddie’s surprise, your retort to his comment was a wholehearted chuckle. He looks at you in amused bewilderment as you give him a hearty laugh. Your nose scrunches up and your eyes begin to water. Eddie’s heart soars, he thinks he could get used to seeing you like this. He takes a mental picture that he hopes will last him forever. Your laugh is infectious and soon he joins you. Your head leans into his chest and he is holding you to ground himself as well - feeling like he was going to explode with glee just being around you. Your laughing settles and you peered up at your savior, your eyes becoming cloudy with anxiety.

“Hey, this party kind of blows” he scoffs. “You wanna go?” he rubs circles into your shoulder comfortingly. You lean into his touch and smile softly. 

“Yeah, I am ready to get the fuck out of here. Walk me home?”

“Oh, sweetheart. I’ll do you one better.” Eddie grabs your hand and leads you to the door. As you shut the door behind you, you make eye contact with Heather, who is staring wide eyed at you. You felt sorry for her. As difficult as it felt, you let the thought of her marks down your boyfriend’s body disappear with her figure behind the door. 

You shiver in the damp summer twilight. Hawkins had been blistering hot during the daytime, but the nights were a welcome pause. You take a deep inhale of fresh air as you catch up to Eddie at the end of the driveway. You walk with him in comfortable silence. The streetlights encapsulate Eddie in a halo of light, his pale skin glowing and eyes shining. The more you study the mop headed boy, the faster your heart beats. Once you have rounded the corner of the sidewalk the boy grabs your hand. You flinch, but squeeze his hand tightly in appreciation. Why was he being so nice to you today? Are you just a lay for tonight or is he genuinely interested in you? As much as you wanted it to be genuine, you remind yourself that anything to distract you from this night was welcome. And he was in fact a pretty cute distraction.

“I’m sorry your boyfriend’s a dick” he utters. He bumps his shoulder with yours as your eyes turn to the pavement beneath your converse.  

“Yeah, it’s okay I guess.” Eddie could feel you shutting down. Your grip loosens on his hand.

“You don’t deserve that, you know?” Eddie stops walking and pulls you to face him. You roll your eyes and scoff at him.

“Alright, Munson. Take it easy, if you keep this up I might think that you like me or something”

“But, I do like you.” Eddie retorts. His answer blindsides you. He can’t mean he likes you like that. Plus you have a boyfriend.

“You don’t even know me.”

“Well, I know that kiss wasn’t just a normal kiss” Eddie’s eyes bored into you, full of a comforting darkness that was unfamiliar to you.. A coldness ran through your veins and you felt your breath catch in your throat. “Here’s what I’m thinking. We give you some matching marks that your boyfriend has. We can have fun tonight and you can forget about what you saw at that party. Or we enjoy the ride back to your house and we say goodnight and I still go home feeling like the luckiest guy in the world because I got to kiss a really beautiful girl tonight. What do you say? Van’s right here.”

Your cheeks are hot and the butterflies in your stomach feel like they are going to fly out of your body. Your mouth feels dry and your head is spinning. Did he really just offer to sleep with you to get back at Billy? Would you even be able to bring yourself to do it? But the kiss… You couldn’t stop picturing the kiss. It felt perfect. It felt like he was the only person that you were supposed to kiss. If your shitty boyfriend was off with someone else, why shouldn’t you have fun too? You stand in contemplative silence for a moment, then look up at Eddie with your big doe eyes. He feels like he could fall apart right then. You nod feverishly at him. He studies your face closely to make sure there was no hesitation, then his eyes darken with excitement and something that you could not read.

Eddie lunges into you like you are his prey. His hands fly to your hips and he pushes you onto the side of his van. Your mouth opens to let him deepen the kiss and he hums into you. Your butterflies move from your stomach to your core as Eddie puts his knee in between your legs. You break the kiss to catch your breath, giving the brunette prime real estate at your neck. He traces kisses from the side of your mouth to your pulse point, then he bites down hard - garnering a sharp gasp from you. You feel Eddie chuckle against your skin. He drags his tongue against the new bruise that was forming to soothe the dull ache. 

“Eddie” you gasp, feeling the strength slipping from your legs, you needed more from him. Eddie raises his head from your neck. His golden eyes bore into you with pure lust and passion, but he is considerate; he studies your face closely, looking for any trace of hesitancy. He pushes his weight off of you and gives you air. 

“You okay? This is okay right?” God, you feel as if you were going to drown in his eyes. His voice is saccharine sweet and you want to melt into him. But there was a sickly pang of guilt, knowing that you were doing all of this behind your boyfriend’s back. No matter how shitty he was, you couldn’t help but feel bad. But Eddie making you feel this good was too difficult to ignore; so, you decide that you can feel bad later - now it was time for you to give in to what feels good. 

“Yeah, we should get going,” you pant. You pull at the lapels of his vest so he is back on you, your lips feeling lonely without him. You feel Eddie pawing at the passenger door of his van to the left of you. Once he gets it unlocked, he lifts you by the hips and sits you on the passenger seat, but instead of detaching himself from your lips, he grabs at your thighs so they wrap around his lean waist. A shock wave of pleasure shoots straight to your core as you feel Eddie’s calloused hands trace up your thighs. His cool rings send shivers down your spine and spread heat to your core. You push your body closer to Eddie’s, which warrants a moan into your mouth. Eddie’s beginning to sweat, he feels like he could explode any minute. The feeling of your core just a few layers of where he wants you the most drives him wild. His hands wander to the hem of your skirt and up the top of your thighs. You use his infatuation with your legs to mouth at his neck. You pepper soft pecks to his Adam's apple, pulling a hard gulp from the boy. Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest in anticipation of what was going to come next. You spread a blotchy galaxy of bruises across his neck, but when you bite down on his pulse point, you hear a growl in the back of Eddie’s throat that takes your breath away.

“Fuck, sweetheart. You’re driving me crazy, you know that?” His hands travel further up your legs and rest at your hip, toying with the hem of your panties. You wiggle your hips as silent encouragement. Eddie hooks his fingers around the soft cotton of your underwear and pulls them down cautiously, giving you plenty of time to stop him if needed. The summer breeze hits your core and you shiver. Eddie gasps once he has your panties in his hand. 

“Cute underwear. This all for me? You’re so wet already” he coos as he scrunches the fabric into his hand. “I’m gonna have to take these as a souvenir, if you don’t mind” You roll your eyes and laugh, but your smile fades as Eddie drops to his knees in front of you, never breaking eye contact with you. 

“E-Eddie, what are you doing? We can’t do this in the middle of the road” you protest, pulling your skirt down and tugging your knees together.

“Then you better be quiet so we don’t get caught”. Eddie returns his hands to your thighs and traces over your knees so he can pull your legs back open. With a sigh, you give in. Eddie gives you a reassuring smirk, then presses a kiss to your knee. It feels like it is getting harder and harder to take steady breaths as you watch the beautiful boy beneath you plant chaste kisses up your thigh. You felt like you were going to suffocate the closer he got to where you wanted him the most, the anticipation strangling you like a noose. You wriggle in the seat, head pulled down to examine what the metalhead was doing beneath you. 

“Such a pretty pussy, baby” Eddie's praises went straight to your core and you let out a strained moan. Eddie sent a pointed look up to you, warning you to keep quiet. You bite down on your lip as the boy disappears under the small amount of skirt left covering your decency. Eddie presses small kisses around your cunt, making you twitch with every move. You’re getting desperate for some release and Eddie could tell. Your hips subtly thrust towards his face and you can feel a smile on the next teasing kiss.

“Eddie, please, please,” your calls sound like prayers to him and he could get used to hearing the hymn coming from you. He decides to relieve you from your distress and takes a long swipe along your folds. You wrack out a mewl so sensual Eddie felt like he could cum right then. His tongue felt euphoric and he hums praise into you as he takes another swipe. 

“Pussy tastes so good, princess. You’re so sweet” Eddie says before his lips bare down on your clit, sending your head jolting back in ecstasy. One of your hands flies to the roof of the van, the other in Eddie’s hair. As you claw at his scalp, Eddie doubles down on your heat, sending you closer and closer over the edge. 

“Eddie, please, I’m so close” you pant.

“Come on, Y/N. Cum for me” Eddie encourages, probing a finger into your throbbing core. Eddie fixates his tongue on your clit, ensuring his eyes can watch your face as you fall apart over him. His finger curls expertly inside you, encouraging your orgasm to radiate through your body. Before you can register what was happening, your chest grows tight and you lose all feelings in your legs, a euphoric sob is pulled from your lungs and you couldn’t help but tighten your grip in Eddie’s hair, to his delight. Eddie moans into your core as he works you through, feeling hardly able to control his own high as well. When you moan again, Eddie detaches his mouth from you and swiftly raises to his feet. His hand cupped over your mouth as he continued to pump in and out of you, pushing you to overstimulation. You mewl beneath Eddie’s hand and he scolds you.

“Now, this is how you get us caught, sweetheart.” Eddie peers down each side of the sidewalk, luckily no one had seen the two of you. Eddie pulls his fingers out of your cunt and takes his hand off of your mouth, giving you an opportunity to catch your breath. Chest heaving, feeling high solely off of your orgasm, you swoon as you watch Eddie take the fingers that are covered in your essence and pop them into his mouth, sucking them clean.

“Get in the back, pretty girl” Eddie demands. You shake your head as you hop off the seat, legs wobbly and head spinning. You take Eddie’s hand and climb into the now open sliding door, giving Eddie a beautiful shot of your glistening pussy under your skirt. He curses to himself as he climbs in after you. 

You take in the sights of the back of Eddie’s van and although it isn’t necessarily clean, it is cozy and you immediately feel comfortable being there with him. There are a few throw pillows tossed haphazardly in the corner, along with a few blankets strewn out on the floor. Cassettes littered whatever area they could claim and various metal posters decorated the walls. To your surprise, a line of wrapped condoms sat in one of the cupholders. 

Eddie’s mouth was back on you as soon as he closed the door. The taste of your own essence and the weed you had smoked earlier made you feel high all over again. Eddie sits back against one of the van’s walls and guides you by the hips into his lap. The feeling of his rough denim on your bare core riled you up and again you were a mewling mess on his lap.

“Take this off, I wanna see you” Eddie mutters as he fumbles with the hem of your T-shirt. You fling off your shirt as Eddie ogles at your figure. His hands drift to your breasts and he moans in satisfaction.

“If I take mine off, you gotta take yours off” you tease. Eddie happily obliges you and pulls his shirt off. You were finally able to fully take in the boy's beautiful alabaster skin. You admired the dark ink that danced along his muscles and the neat lining of hair that leads to where you want to see the most. As much as you appreciated the distraction, you did find yourself truly appreciating Eddie for his looks as well as his sexual prowess. He truly was beautiful and looked even more so looking up at you with a fucked out stare, eyeing you like you were his whole universe. Eddie mouthed at the edge of your bra as he reaches around your back to unclasp your pesky straps. Your moans and breaths invigorate him even more and you could now feel his erection growing furiously hard beneath you. When your bra falls from your shoulders, Eddie captures one of your nipples in his mouth, while pawing at your other breast. You wanted his mouth to become a permanent fixture of your body. He felt so natural being there, and you couldn’t get enough. Your hands land on Eddie’s pecs, feeling the muscles moving beneath you, you claw down his stomach. Eddie hisses into your skin, loving the pain. You fumble with his belt beneath you, impatient to get his pants off. Again, you feel Eddie’s smirk against your skin. He separates himself from you to assist you in unclasping his belt and pants.

“Impatient girl,” he teases.

“Just get your pants off, Munson” You want your response to sound confident and sassy, but you are getting desperate, and your voice sounds whiny and breathy. It made Eddie laugh in confidence. He could ask you to do anything for him and you would do it right now, he knew that. 

Eddie grabs your wrists that were still frantically trying to get into his pants and he pulls them away. You wriggle off of him and watch with bated breath as the boy peels off his jeans. Your eyes widen at the erection that Eddie is sporting. You couldn’t help yourself - you reach to him and run your hand across his bulge, eliciting a hiss from the boy. You flinch, but return your hand.

“Is this okay?” you question with sickly sweet care. Eddie could cum right this second.

“More than okay, princess,” he sighs. “Feels so fucking good already”. You place yourself between the boy’s legs and continue to rub at him, squeezing his length and rubbing your hands over his sensitive head every few strokes. 

You understand how Eddie could get off by pleasuring you, because the sounds he was making sent heat straight to your core. His sighs and praises left you with a bewildered smile on your face. Your fingers curl beneath Eddie’s plaid boxers and he held his breath. You share a look, ensuring each other that you were both okay with going forward. You free Eddie’s cock and it flexes up towards his bellybutton. He is large - both exceptionally long and girthy. His veins trace the underside of his cock and lead to his weeping, pink tip. You feel your mouth watering as you lower yourself to Eddie’s waist. Your eyes peer up at him as you take one long swipe at him with your tongue. Eddie's eyes roll to the back of his head as he lets out a groan. You tease his tip, taking it into your mouth and swirling your tongue around his slit. Eddie’s hand finds purchase in your hair, stroking and pulling softly to ground himself. He was desperate to cum, he could just let himself go in this second, but then he wouldn’t be able to take full advantage of the time he has with you.

“Fuck, babe. You feel so good on my cock” Eddie’s praise encouraged you to take as much of Eddie that would fit in your mouth, and sucked back up his length. You bob on his cock until your eyes are watering. You milk Eddie for all of his sweet sounds and touches. You take a moment to look up at the boy and you are met with one of the most beautiful sights you have ever seen. 

Eddie’s mouth was parted slightly. His bangs were beginning to stick to his forehead from the heat in the van. The rest of his hair settled on his shoulders, curls beginning to frizz. His brows were perfectly furrowed in concentration. His eyes pressed shut. A red flush formed on his face. He looked angelic. You could get used to looking at him like this: a moaning mess underneath you. You push Eddie’s cock further into your mouth and hold it there. Eddie’s eyes fling open in ecstasy and he looks down at you. He also thinks this is one of the best sights he’s ever seen. Then he feels you gag and he feels like his soul has left his body.

You moan into him then you gag, pulling back to catch your breath. Suddenly, Eddie is pushing you back against the opposite wall of the van.

“Eddie wha-”

“As much as I love seeing you choke on my cock, I can’t fucking hold on anymore. I need your pussy,” Eddie pleads as he undos the zipper on your skirt. You assist him in pulling it off as he reaches into his cup holder and grabs a small silver foil. He rips it open with his teeth and hisses as he slides the condom onto his penis. You felt a pang of nerves now. Being so close and intimate to Eddie felt so evil - he wasn’t your boyfriend. But it felt so right. Your pussy quivered just thinking of him being inside you. Eddie positioned between your legs. He rubbed his head between your folds, evoking moans from both of you.

“Fuck, you’re still so wet. You like sucking my dick, huh?” Eddie quips.

“Unff. Eddie, I love it.” You jolt as his head rubs at your clit. “Please, Eddie. Need you”

Eddie's eyes drop to where you are connected and he lines himself up with your entrance. He slowly presses in with a low growl. 

“Fuck. You’re sucking me in”

“So big Eddie. Fuck” You pant. He had gotten barely half way and you felt deliciously full already. The stretch, mixing pleasure and pain. He is a perfect gentleman in taking his time with you. You admire his self control. You could tell going slow was not easy for him. His brows were furrowed even harder than before, his breath short and raspy. Finally, Eddie bottoms out. You felt like you were going to lose control too. You whimper underneath the metalhead.

“It's okay baby, you take my cock so well” Eddie’s hand came up to stroke your face gently, a brash juxtaposition to the lewd act you were both participating in. You turn your cheek and open your mouth on Eddie’s thumb. You look up at him with your watery eyes and suck down hard. Eddie thought he was going to collapse right then and there. 

Eddie pulls himself all the way back out of you, instantly making you feel empty. You’re overwhelmed with fullness and pleasure as his cock rams back into you. You can’t help but yell out in pleasure. You bite your lip and cover your mouth with your hands. Eddie begins fucking into you at a ruthless pace. He pulls your hand from your mouth .

“Don’t stop those noises. I wanna hear you” he coos, pulling a sob from you. His cock hits just the right spot and you could feel yourself hurling towards the second orgasm of the night. 

“E-Eddie… m’close. Please don’t stop” you whine. Eddie smiles down at you, quickening his pace. His hand flies down to where the two of you meet and while muttering endless praises, rubs precise circles on your clit. You feel Eddie’s hips stutter as he watches your eyes roll to the back of your head and gasp as your orgasm falls on you. Your pussy has Eddie in a vice and he could barely hold back his own finish, but he was determined to work you through your climax, to make you feel as good as you can for as long as he could. He can feel your legs shaking beneath him and sees tears well up in your eyes. As you push his hands away from your sensitive clit, he puts his hands beneath your back and pulls you into his lap. Your hands fly to the wall of the van. Eddie fucks into your pussy at a dizzying pace, so hard that you felt that you could barely hold on.

“That’s right baby, bounce on that cock like a good girl. Take it” You whine at his words while your pussy throbs from your ebbing orgasm. You look around and suddenly feel a pang of jealousy. You wondered how many girls he had done this with in the back of his van - hell, anywhere. Were you just another conquest? What makes you different? Eddie saw an opportunity and he took it; and as hypocritical as you were, you hated thinking that he was going to leave the party and go see someone else. You look down at Eddie, his hair surrounding him like a halo, his cheeks fully flushed and sweat dripping down his face. 

“Come for me, Eddie.”

“Wha-”

“Come for me. Come on, I wanna see you cum” Your eyes darken with lust and never left his face. You could feel his dick twitching inside of you and his breath shallowed. With a grunt and a few hard thrusts, you could feel Eddie’s cock being milked for all it was worth. You almost wish that he wasn’t wearing a condom so you could really feel him. His hips settle and you put your weight down on Eddie’s body, both heaving and sweaty. You let out a small giggle but Eddie studies your face closely, something is happening behind your eyes. Something’s wrong.

“Hey” , his voice was soft and tender. “Everything okay?”

“What? Of course. That was… that was great” you sigh, but Eddie doesn’t seem convinced. You roll off of him and lay to his right, looking into his beautiful brown eyes. 

“If you regret it we don’t have to do it ever again and you can pretend like you don’t know me” Eddie’s eyes darted from yours and a dry laugh left his lips. Was Eddie Munson insecure? 

“Eddie, that was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I don’t regret it at all” you smile at him. You can feel his muscles relax beside you and his face sank into his usual dopey smile. You weren’t lying. Things with your boyfriend had been… tense to say the least. 

The movie playing out of Billy’s old pick up truck was drowned out by wet smacks against your neck. As usual, your boyfriend ignored your requests to not be marked up and was in the middle of gnawing at you when his hands started to migrate to your thigh. You nudged his hand away, but he persisted, swatting your hand away from his. This time, he wrapped his strong arms around your waist. His kisses traveled down to your collar bone and he played with the hem of your shirt.

“Babe, we’re in public.” You scolded him, pushing him off of you. You had begun to feel like everyone around you was aware of what you were doing. You weren’t afraid of taking some risks, but you were just not feeling it tonight. 

“Yeah, and the public is watching a movie, so relax.” Billy presses his kiss-swollen lips to yours and forces his tongue into your mouth. You took your hands and pressed against his pecks to push him off. 

“I don’t want to do this right now, Hargrove. Seriously.” You turned your whole body against the door, away from him. He scoffed at you and you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks. 

“So you wear a skimpy little dress like that and you agree to come to the drive in with me just to actually sit and fucking watch a movie? Or are you dressing up for someone else? Andy works here right? Is that who it’s for?” His voice raised with every word he spat at you. You could feel the tears starting to prick at your eyes. But you wouldn’t cry for him - you didn’t want to give him what he wants. You’re pulled out of your thoughts as a death grip engulfs your bicep. Billy pulls you to him, so close that you can feel his breath fanning on your face. Your breath gets caught in your throat.

“Don’t joke like that, Billy. I would never.”

“Prove it to me then.”

“Wh-what” you whimpered. 

“Prove to me how much you love me.”

“Billy… please” 

“Prove. It.” he seethed. He let your arm go and pushed you towards the passenger door.  He leaned back and undid his jeans.

He raised his arms behind his head in satisfaction as you held back tears. You opened the truck door and slammed it, trudging towards the small concession to ask Robin for a ride home. 

You and Eddie wrangle your clothes, sharing small laughs and pleasant conversation. You both share another joint as you both stall ending the night. Finally, the conversation lulls and you’re afraid the time has come for you to go home. Eddie lets out a lazy yawn and you can’t help but admire his treasure trail that peeks out over his jeans as he stretches his arms above his head. 

“You getting tired?” he inquires, fidgeting with his rings.

“Yeah, I could sleep,” you admit. It was close to three in the morning and not only had you been up for almost 24 hours, you were so emotionally exhausted, feeling whiplash from your eventful evening. “I can let you go home,” you get up to open the van door, but Eddie grabs you by the waist and pulls you back into him. You giggle giddily. It’s been a long time since you have enjoyed being manhandled, but all of Eddie’s intentions seem so sickly sweet you couldn’t help but blush.

“Woah woah woah. You think I am going to let you walk home looking like that” He snorts.

“Looking like what?”

“Fucking gorgeous, and fucked out’. Eddie’s eyes rake over your figure again, sending heat back straight to your core. “Plus, I still have your underwear and there’s no way in hell you’re gonna walk home without those.”

“Well, you could give them back then,” you retort

“Not a chance in hell, sweetheart” He lands a chaste peck on your cheek before unwrapping his arms from you. He swings open the sliding door and hops out. Galivantly, he spins on his heel and offers his hand out to you. You take it and hop down onto the sidewalk. He opens the passenger door for you and helps you in. Once you are settled, he entraps you between his arms and leans his face close to yours. His eyes flicker between your mouth and eyes and he licks his lips. Suddenly, both of your movements feel more intimate. You meet him in the middle and lift your hand up to his cheek, he flinches at your touch, but quickly melts into you. Your mouths meld together perfectly and you would be content with staying like this forever. Eddie pulls away and rests his forehead against yours and offers you a sweet smile. He closes the door, leaving you for moments of silence. You can’t help but smile into your lap and touch your lips, still burning with the metalhead’s kiss. 

He turns the ignition and turns the radio up, Black Sabbath ringing through the van. You tell Eddie your address and he turns off of the low lit neighborhood road. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you but you saw Eddie’s hand twitch a few times. He wanted to reach out and touch you so bad, already feeling so starved of your energy. His Adam's apple bobs and he slowly reaches out to touch your knee. Eddie’s warmth sends butterflies to your stomach. Never have you felt so cared for by someone, let alone a random revenge hook up. You feel conflicted. As you stare out the window you couldn’t help but feel like a bad person - not for sleeping with Eddie, but for sleeping with someone with the intent to hurt your boyfriend. At least when Billy did it, you thought, it might have just been a mistake or getting caught up in the moment. You went out and sought out an action to hurt him on purpose. But fucking Eddie felt too good, and from the conversation you had after spin the bottle, it was clear to you that you were just an object for Billy’s interest. When he was done with you he would move on and get what he wanted from someone else. So, should you feel bad about finding something - someone you like being with? You couldn’t break up with Billy, you wanted to forget about this whole night but his words will ring out in your brain and heart forever. You let out a deep sigh and relax into Eddie’s seat.

“What’s eating you, sweet thing?” Eddie squeezes your thigh and you flash him a tight, but kind smile. 

“It’s just been an… interesting night.”

“Listen-” Eddie turns down the radio so Ozzy Osbourne is a mere whisper. “I don’t want you to feel bad about what we did. I don’t want you to be upset at yourself for that. So, if you want to forget this thing happened, I do understand. Really” His puppy dog eyes flickered between the road and your face, looking for any clues to what was going on in your head. You are such a mystery and he so desperately wanted to continue figuring you out, but, like you, your boyfriend seemed to be the only thing on his mind. You rub your lips together, deep in thought. 

“Eddie, I don’t regret what we did at all. But, I mean I do feel bad. I cheated on my boyfriend… but he’s a piece of shit” you mumble. “I don’t want you to feel bad either. I had a lot of fun tonight. I was being honest when I said this was the most fun I’ve had in a long time, I promise.” You grab the hand resting on your thigh and give it a squeeze.

Eddie’s heart could beat right out of his chest. There was a twist of guilt in your voice but you seemed… different. You aren’t sad. You don’t seem angry. You seem similar to Eddie: enamored with the person you are looking at. It gives him hope that he could selfishly go home and think there is a chance that he might see you again. A comfortable silence falls upon the two of you, both giddy at the contact and reassurance you have both received, but your eyes stay cloudy. Even though Eddie doesn’t know you well, he can tell you are still deep in thought about something. It makes him nervous not knowing what about. Did he do something wrong? Are you going to tell him that this was all a joke and you never want to see him again? Eddie dreads turning onto your street, he’s not ready to say goodnight and potentially goodbye. He begrudgingly pulls into your small driveway and turns the key in the ignition. The console light illuminates your faces and Eddie is sure he is looking at an angel. Your soft eyes peer at him through thick lashes and you bite your swollen lips.

“I, umm, I had a thought” you peep. Eddie nods at you in encouragement to keep going.

“I mean… If my boyfriend is going to fuck around behind my back, why can’t I do the same, you know?” You fiddle with the rings on Eddie’s fingers that are still in your lap. “I mean, he’s practically holding the relationship hostage so why can’t I have fun behind his back too?” You peer up at the boy whose eyes soften when you do. He could tell you were nervous to say this to him, scared of being judged. Little did he know, you were also worried that this was just some random fuck for him too. 

“Eddie, I was wondering if you wanted to make an… arrangement” you stop fiddling with his rings and your eyes bore into him; full of hope and desire. A smile quickly spread across Eddie’s face. 

“Hmmm, yeah, sweetheart. I think we could make that work.” You smile down at your hands, worried that if you look too hard into Eddie’s eyes, there would be no way you would ever make it out of them. Your eyes spot a sharpie laying on the floor of your seat. You reach down and pick it up. Eddie shoots you a questioning look but lets you grab his hand anyway. Trying not to shake too badly, you neatly scribble your phone number on his hand. When you let go of him, Eddie looks at his hand in awe, like he has just won a million dollars. The truth is he felt like he had. He would tattoo your number on his skin if it meant that he would be able to see you again. You bombard his internal celebration with a peck on his cheek.

“Thank you for the ride, Eddie.”

“Which one?” He quips. You smile but roll your eyes as you regretfully pull away from him and hop out of the van. 

“You better call me tomorrow.” you warn 

“Sweetheart, it's gonna take everything in me not to call you as soon as I get home.” Eddie’s smile was from ear to ear. Heat rises to your cheeks and your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest. You turn and walk up the driveway with a matching grin. This night went from bad to worse to the best night you think you’ve ever had. 

Like the perfect gentleman, Eddie waits until he sees your door close before he pulls out of your driveway. When you close and lock your door you are met with silence and darkness, but you felt as though your joy could light the whole neighborhood. You slide down your front door and pull your knees to your chest. You let out a content sigh, followed by a giggle. If Billy wants to fuck around. He’s gonna find out. He thought that you would sit around and be walked all over? Absolutely not. He might think that he’ll win the heartbreak, but with your new arrangement with a beautiful brunette? Checkmate.

#eddie munson angst #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson x chrissy cunningham #first fanfic #eddie munson series #eddie munson hurt/comfort #eddie munson brainrot #eddie munson ff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson friends to lovers #chrissy cunningam ff #hawkins high #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson slow burn #eddie munson edit #eddie munson best friend #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fics #eddie munson love story #eddie munson smut #checkmate #strangerthingsradar #stranger things season 4 #joseph quinn

[blighted-lights]

because of course im gonna ask: first aid? —cmofirstaid

(Based off of this post! TFP Soundwave, IDW Sunstreaker, IDW First Aid, IDW Ravage, and IDW Cosmos have all been asked for! Feel free to send in an ask for any character that isn't one of these five 🌸❗️Not limited to followers or mutuals, so go wild!)

First Impression: Oh shit, First Aid! I read MTMTE before I read most of IDW, and I was fucking stoked to see him appear in the Delphi arc- ESPECIALLY with how he was introduced with his report that doubled as the issue's intro narration. Aside from that, though, I didn't focus on him much during my first read-through. Pharma and Ambulon immediately stole the show away from him, and it wasn't until my second read a few months later that I really focused on Aid. Aside from being happy to see him, I LOVED how he was drawn in MTMTE. He's always been cute, but something with how he was drawn in the first half of MTMTE really cemented for me that he has one of the best designs. He somehow manages to be boxy and round at the same time and I love him for it.

Impression Now: You are ENTIERLY responsible for how much First Aid means to me now, I hope you know this. One of my top ten IDW faves. His design remains one of my favorites, and I wish we got more canon content digging into his POV of things pre-mutiny. I wish he stayed on the Lost Light instead of being called away, too! There is so much focus on Ratchet passing over the title of CMO to First Aid, but then Aid leaves so quickly after. Idk, I wish we just got to see him more pre-mutiny. Aid is such a tragic character to me but he's another background tragedy and it makes me want to shake my screen a bit when I think about him. A somewhat vaguely odd thing to say, but I wish we got to see more of First Aid's grief over Ambulon and his feelings towards Pharma. Honestly I wished we got to see more interactions between Aid and the rest of the medical cast in general- including Ratchet, Velocity (ESPECIALLY Lotty (is not biased)), and Rung.

Favorite Moment: Speaking of Pharma, my favorite moment of First Aid is this one right here:

I think Aid should be shown like this more often. I NEED him to be angry. I need him to be murderous. As a treat for myself. I hate the idea in media where the good guys refuse to kill a villain because they'd be "letting the villain win". It's good to see that narrative challenged by Aid here.

... Even if the consequences aren't easily forgotten.

Idea for a Story: Someone put First Aid and Rung into a therapy appointment, I need to pick their interactions apart under a microscope. I do not thing going to Rung would be able to help Aid. In fact, it might just make an already shitty situation worse. But I want to see First Aid sit down and talk about what he is experiencing. And maybe I want to see Rung unintentionally making his grieving process more difficult. We already know from Rung's own admission in Lost Light that he does not know who he is without his patients. He banks his entire identity and self-worth on trying to assist other people. But what happens when nothing he does seems to help First Aid, and therefore his own self-image begins to crumble for it? How does his own perceived failings affect his treatment of First Aid?

Unpopular Opinion: 🤔 Not sure if I have one. I'm allergic to the idea of Aid being really nice and nervous 100% of the time, ig. All things considered, the First Aid we have in IDW isn't nervous at all. But I don't actually know how prevalent this is in fandom or if this is even an unpopular take 🤷‍♂️.

Favorite Relationship: Canon-wise? It's a toss up between him and Ambulon and then him and Ratchet. It is devastating how hard Aid takes Ambulon's death, and his desperation to help save Ambulon when Ratchet wouldn't let him was heartbreaking to read. At the same time, I NEED more of First Aid and Ratchet arguing with each other and Aid calling Ratchet out on his bullshit. It is rare that anyone steps up to Ratchet like that and succeeds in affecting him. I would like more, thanks.

Non-canon relationships? Another toss-up between Velocity and Ravage. Put these three in a blunt rotation, I'm sure they'll be fine.

Favorite Headcanon: First Aid is extremely tactile. There is not a word or phrase that could properly describe how touchy First Aid is. He has the capability to turn someone who is touch-starved to touched-out in the span of thirty minutes. While this is in part due to just him being an affectionate person in general (or at the very least, more physically affectionate than most other Autobots), it is also partially because of his intense focus on Autobot brands. He is so used to checking everyone he comes across for their brands in the case that they might have a bullet shot through them that the process of checking someone over is compulsive. This extends to people who fall outside of the Autobot ranks who do not even have brands, like Ravage, Cyclonus, and Ten. It's earned him more than a few strange looks and awkward silences over the course of being on the Lost Light.

#ask: cmofirstaid #transformers #character ask meme #ask meme #maccadams #maccadam #mtmte #more than meets the eye #lost light #idw1 #tf idw1 #tf idw #first aid #tf first aid #transformers first aid #ambulon #pharma #tf pharma #idw pharma #ratchet #tf ratchet #idw ratchet #velocity #tf velocity #ravage #very brief ravage mention lol #rung #idw rung #tf rung #i feel like this one is a bit of a mess but im tossing it out. if i look at him too long i get sad

[u3pxx]

yes I do have time to talk about Apollo justice! He’s my favorite character and honestly I would love to hear you talk about him because….. I don’t know how to put the words together….like to talk I mean

[whispers] i'm gonna let you in on a secret ... as much as i would love to talk about apollo justice i don't think i'm very good at conveying my thoughts about him because my brain is empty and i don't personally think i'm good at analysis...!

anyways, sure i'll talk about him for a bit wheezes

i love apollo so much, he's an unexpected fave. i don't tend to have the protagonists of a series to be my favorite but my GOSH apollo really just clawed his way up into "character of all time" territory for me; and he's not even the type of character i usually go for, like?? and now he's the standard of the character i enjoy, we love a game-changing king. i see a loud, passionate character and i point "just like apollo jushpich...."

i love that apollo's loud, i love that he's dorky, i love that he's a snappy snarky piece of shit, i love that despite that he's such a target for being bullied, i love that he's just ... him! he has such fun dynamics with everyone, especially with trucy.

GODDD those two make me feral they love each other they are sibbles they care for each other apollo CRIED when he thought trucy was in danger despite knowing her for like less than a day i love THEMMMM

ok so i gotta talk about him and klavier now too i guess wheezes. listen, listening? yeah? opposites attract? i'm a sucker for that, love that shit. apollo could not give a flying fuck about klavier as a celebrity and kinda just (begrudgingly) sees him as his cool co-worker who's annoyingly flashy, air guitars in court, and he trusts klavier enough to find the truth? that guy who he sees in such a troubled state because of all that's haunting him and decides that he must pull the darkness out of him? that guy? so yeah, i'm pretty normal about them.

also he's transgender too ok

i guess we can talk about apollo and his gazillion backstories which ngl, put me off at first, but now i think it's hilarious. if in aa7 he gets another dad i won't even complain. it takes a village to raise an apollo justice, as they say (joke, cue laughter)

guy who has the life of an anime protagonist wants you to think he's normal so bad. guy who has magical eyesight because of his fucked up magician family. guy almost got killed in a regicide that killed his biological father . guy was sent to the states by his wanted revolutionary adoptive father that didn't come back for him for years, only to find out later that said adoptive father died. guy was sent to the states most likely through illegal means. guy's best friend dies and has an emo arc. GUY JOINS A REVOLUTION. guy gets mentored by the phoenix fuckign wright and gets brain damage. i'm kinda in love with him in the most blorbo way possible.

#sunnysideanswers #ace attorney #apollo justice #aa4 spoilers #aa5 spoilers #aa6 spoilers #anonymous #is this enough talking about him wheezes

[thenanamisimp]

Danmei and MXTX novels

Would you look at that, another post that's not about anime? WILD. It is about MXTX novels though so the hyperfixations continue. I'm actually in the process of planning a very lengthy analysis of all three of her series but this is a warning, don't expect too much. I was never good at those in school plus it's been almost 7 years since I've last written something like that but I feel so passionate about her works that I really wanna try to share what I thought about the novels. Nevertheless, this isn't actually those analysis posts since those are gonna be separate and will probably be written after I re-read each series. However, since I'm actually finally fully done reading all her series - including the extra side chapters - I wanted to quickly share some of my opinions and how I feel after finishing all 18 of the books.

This goes without saying but just in case - SPOILER WARNING for Heaven Official's Blessing, The grandmaster of demonic cultivation and The scum villain's self saving system novels.

First off, if you haven't read any of MXTX's work before, prepare for trauma and tragedy. Most of her characters are either deeply traumatised already or in the process of. I will always encourage people to read content warnings before reading her books.

Starting off with my favourite - TGCF or Tian Guan Ci Fu (aka Heaven Official's Blessing). This story means a lot to me. I got introduced to TGCF through the donghua before I even knew it was queer fiction and even with censorship, the closet is made of fucking GLASS so I had to look for the source material. Honestly it took me a while to commit to reading the whole series as I've been struggling to pick up books for years now but TGCF actually got me back into reading (I think in total it took me about 8 days to read all 8 volumes). More than just the story telling being good, I got so incredibly attached to every single character (except Jun Wu, he can eat shit - tho the fact I'm even saying this speaks volumes about how well MXTX can write characters. It takes a lot for me to hate a character this much).

Taking place in a beautiful fantasy world, we follow Xie Lian and Hua Cheng through tragic traumatic past and present and we learn of the horrible truths about the lives of immortal beings. We also see two idiots in love take their sweet ass time to confess. I love me a good slow burn full of longing and pining. I eat that shit UP every time and MXTX gave it to me with every single one of her series.

TGCF for me was a journey full of kicking my feet at fluff, second hand embarrassment (because xl I stg, what do you MEAN you were taught how to resist the advances of women but not how to resist hot men you gay lil shit the closet is made of glass) and honestly, lots of crying. The hundred stabs incident, ruoye's creation and hcg's last death made me sob and scream (no exaggeration, I was stomping around my room, crying and yelling GIVE HIM BACK RIGHT NOW).

Also, in a not so unpopular opinion (I think?), Pei Ming is my fave because 1) he's the no.1 Hualian shipper - check the whole Mt Tunglu adventure for proof and also 2) he's just a lil slut with a big heart. I could seriously talk about him forever because I went from hating him after he tried to throw the blame for the Banyue Pass incident on Xie Lian, to loving him after I realised that everything he does, he does because he is truly just a kind man who loves a good fight. He's so silly! Just a lil guy! Go Pei Ming go!

Fuck you Jun Wu. Again. (I hate him just as much as I hate Mahito. Maybe a little less. I really hate Mahito).

Moving on to my second favourite (but honestly it's such a close one), MDZS or Mo Dao Zu Shi (The grandmaster of demonic cultivation). Take a wild guess about how I got introduced to it... Fandom of course, because very few people talk about TGCF online without mentioning MDZS so I just had to give it a chance.

The great grandmaster of demonic cultivation has been dead for a while but when he gets gifted a new body through a not so well known demonic ritual, he runs into an old acquaintance. We learn about Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's past and current world of cultivation and hear stories about messy betrayals and conspiracies. Aaaand we find out about some more trauma and tragedy because is it really an MXTX novel without it?

And talk about a rollercoaster because (and please don't hate me for this) I found Wei Wuxian annoying initially.... But it's okay now because I kin him so go figure. Tho I actually kin only his adult self, I was a very introverted and rule abiding teenager, a lil more like Lan Wangji. In any case, wwx is the same stupid chaotic bisexual that I am and he is babygurl. Yeah and what if he murdered 3000 people? It was self defense. THEY ATTACKED FIRST. Your honour, he did nothing wrong and he does not deserve to be punished!

On a serious note, MDZS explores so many themes that are personally important to me, my favourite being the power dynamics of the world. It’s truly moving that even with all the pain Wei Wuxian went through, how far in his cultivation and how powerful he got, he still couldn't protect those he loved (until Lan Wangji of course because Wangxian is perfect together and they always protect and defend each other. Wangxian my beloved). While it might be a stretch for some, it really reminded me of how powerless we are in the world. People aim to educate themselves and go on to do whatever they can to better the world in their own way and yet, it really feels like nothing’s improving sometimes. I could talk about this for hours but maybe I’ll leave that for another time and another analysis post since this is supposed to be a shorter one (lmao)

Last but not least, RZFZX or Ren Zha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong (honestly this one I use the english name for because I can’t pronounce the chinese as much as I try - The scum villain's self saving system or Svsss). This one I actually kinda struggled with - first of all because WHY BUGS MXTX. Not much bothers me in fiction but BUGS? Too far. Heads with spider legs? Raw flesh with maggots? Blood mites? I was out (for about half an hour and then I kept reading). Please note that it's not the raw flesh that bothered me, it was the fucking maggots. I can read about graphic murder, creepy hauntings, torture and many more but as soon as there are bugs? Nope! I’m done. People have phobias and that’s mine I guess. Enough ranting about bugs!

The story follows Shen Qingqiu, the scum villain of the hit web novel Proud Immortal Demon's Way (or PIDW for short, as it's referred to in Svsss) who is actually one of the original readers - and haters - of PIDW, who transmigrates into the book in order to fix the plot holes left by the original author. With his guide “the system” he does his best to lead the male lead of PIDW, Luo Binghe, down a better path than in the original story.

Svsss employs a comedic way of storytelling, with our protagonist being omniscient, it allows for the narration to be sarcastic and poke fun at a lot of moments that are cliche or badly written, as interpreted by sqq. Honestly, this is just a personal preference but I favour the more serious storytelling way of MDZS and TGCF (give me hurt until the very end when the main characters get together and then give me comfort).

To me, Svsss is a lot harder to analyse as a lot of its themes are unfamiliar to me, especially considering I’m the furthest from having any sort of humanitarian education (I have 2 engineering degrees). Using a story within a story, MXTX is able to deliver two main overarching themes; one about abuse and its results through Luo Binghe as well as one about the relationship of author and their readers, the feeling of being trapped by the readers' opinions and wanting your story to be liked through Shang Qinghua (to be honest, I hadn’t really picked up on this one until I saw discussion about this in the fandom).

If I'm being completely honest, I don't think I grasped this series as well as the other ones and I'm finding it hard to digest lbg and sqq's relationship. I'm unsure as to what it is that's holding me back from loving them as much as Hualian and Wangxian. I do tend to prefer tropes like theirs more than the whole "had to convince him to date me" thing which is what Bingqiu's relationship seemed like to me up until the end of volume 3. It’s also why I'm glad I actually followed through and finished the extras in volume 4 (I was really tempted to stop reading once I finished volume 3 not gonna lie). I believe those to be integral to understanding sqq's feelings towards lbh and while I understand that sqq did actually love lbh from the beginning (denial is a river in egypt and the gloset is made of glass - what the fuck is with MXTX's bottoms and the damn glass closet), I struggled to see the tipping point of where he actually understood his own feelings and what was going on in his head and that he was actually in love with lbh. Which is why I think to really understand Svsss, I would seriously need to reread it.

I also would love to eventually talk about queerness in MXTX's work because in each book, sexuality and queerness is explored and examined in so many different ways. As a queer person myself, it fascinates me as I can relate to so much of it. To be honest, I think I could write a short thesis on just this.

Honestly, while I'm very passionate about my favourite pieces of media (if you've heard me talk about any of my top 5 anime you'll understand what I mean), there hasn't been a lot of things outside JJK and MXTX's novels that have made me wanna dive deep into analysing every single detail. It genuinely makes me feel like I'm gonna implode sometimes. These 3 series have seriously reignited my love for reading. I was shown that a good book - in my opinion of course - doesn't need to avoid difficult topics. It simply needs to use them well as a means of delivering a message and a story, rather than them being included just to be included. They also reminded me that I love queer fiction and I need to read more.

I actually would really like to read Erha (or 2ha or The husky and his white cat shizun) but I've read the content warnings and I'm ~~apprehensive~~. While not a lot of things bother me, I'm not sure I want to read about that stuff (please look at the content warnings of this book, or any piece of media in that matter, especially if you have topics that easily bother or trigger you). Remember, it's our responsibility as readers/consumers to look out for ourselves first!

Please recommend any good danmei (other than MXTX) and possibly include links where they can be read! I would also highly appreciate recommendations for some good wlw fantasy fiction as I really would love to read some wlw novels - or even anime/movies/webtoons/manga. Just in desperate need of quality wlw content.

Also while I said I'd keep it short, it seems I ended up writing over 2000 words…

PS. I proofread this about 5 times and during one of them my file crashed, so if there's any mistakes or if I’m not making sense somewhere, blame my deep-fried brain, thanks

Thanks for reading my novel ramble! Enjoy reading :)

theNanamiSimp

#i'm adding a lot of tags because i put a lot of effort into this post actually and i want people to see it #danmei #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #mxtx #mo xiang tong xiu #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #bingqiu #luo binghe #shen qingqiu

[onthearrow]

hello arrow~ just curious, were you ever into game of thrones, and if so, who was your favorite romantic pairing (canon or not)? and did you ever at some point in time considered writing fanfiction about them?

Oh anon THANK YOU for this question I will now be putting on my GOT hat.

I loved GOT (and was ultimately disappointed like the rest of us) but still return to fic browsing occasionally. I've got two fave ships, the first of which is Jaime/Brienne. Jaime has a very compelling redemption arc (we are NOT talking about the last episode THANK YOU) that is hugely influenced by Brienne. She subverts so many of his expectations of what it means to be a knight and a lady and through that he begins to find the essence of his true self. Jaime himself is a fascinating character (the dyslexia?? omg) and the slow burn he has with Brienne is just *chef's kiss*.

As for Brienne, I really sympathize with her character. I was bullied as a kid and spent years feeling misplaced amongst my peers. I ended up determining my own path and coming into myself much as she has---I even took up fencing! And I love how she WANTS Jaime to be an asshole and he ends up un-asshole-ifying. In a way, he subverts her expectations too, they become equals, and they become a team. That shit is ROMANTIC.

My second-favorite ship will offend people, I'm sure, but there's a caveat to it so stay with me before sending me anon hate (that will be deleted, sorry). I LOVE Sansa and The Hound*. ASTERISK, BIG ASTERISK, because the age gap in the books is enormous and Sansa is a literal child. I cannot ship that romantically in good conscience, but platonically I'm obsessed with the dynamics of this relationship. In book 1 Sansa heads to the capital with her head full of beautiful princes and fairytales and castles and happily ever after, only to find out that her prince is the most sadistic fuck in all of Westeros and that the capital is cruel and that the good guys don't always win (her own father's execution???).

And then there's The Hound, the most objectively terrifying person around with the most hideous face, a complete perversion of the knights she grew up reading stories about. And yet he ends up being the one who shows her kindness. He gives her his cloak when Joffrey tries to strip her in front of the court. When he flees King's Landing, he offers to take her with him. I think there's a scene where she gets beaten and he offers her a handkerchief, too?

So while I can't ship a thirty-something alcoholic knight with a fucked up psyche with a literal teenager, I think this relationship is key in the recurring theme GRRM has going of subverting expectations. In canon, I'd like to see Sansa reunite with Sandor and ask him to be her sworn shield as Queen of the North. I think that would be a fitting ending for them. In fic, I love AUs where she's aged up and he's aged down and the author leans into the potential romanticism that that creates. It's just a straight-up no for me in canon.

Would I write fic for either of these? I don't think I'd write SanSan, but I would absolutely love to write for Braime at some point. Like at least an AU one-shot, but if I was going to go hard, I'd probably continue off from where we left them with Lady Stoneheart and give them a proper ending. (Unfortunately, I don't think GRRM is ever going to finish the series.)

This was a lot of information--sorry if it was too much anon! But I am happy to discuss GOT with anyone 😅

#game of thrones #got #braime #sansan #ask

[aroacesigma]

For the ask game ummmmmmm obligatory sigma but also chuuya <3

ok !!!

first impression - sigma

honestly i thought he seemed like a nice enough guy going off the whole thing where he let the man win . a bit bossy when he was talking to teruko but honestly i was kind of rooting for anyone but the hunting dogs at the point so i was like yeahhh go buddy . you got this . also thought he was very gender

first impression - chuuya

i thought he was REALLY fucking cool . loved his design instantly . like about half this fandom i thought that was a ponytail for ages but noooo . terrible mullet . look dazai was my fave at that point but i still laughed when he got his ass kicked by him lmfao

impression now - sigma

ok . deep breaths kai you can say this normally . i love him very much and he is my fave . as you can all tell . finding out his whole backstory and watching him go through the sky casino arc and the mersault arc was so fucking ... god . hes so tragic . i love him so much . he tries so very hard all the time and nothing ever comes out of it does it . i just want him to be happy .... he really deserves it . hes not a bad person but hes done bad things out of necessity which honestly makes you root for him more doesnt it ? its so heartbreaking every chapter watching him do everything , throw himself into danger, hurt people, hurt himself just so they can get a home... i really hope he does . very much . fucking hell

impression now - chuuya

pretty much exactly the same . hes so fucking cool and i love him . i think he should be allowed a weekly quota of kicking the shit out of dazai . stormbringer tore my soul to shreds that hurt which made me feel terrible for him also . hes a wonderful character and i really do love him and wish this fandom treated him a little better

favourite moment - sigma

oughh this is hard . uh . probably when we get his backstory honestly . everything really makes a lot of sense about him once you get that . its really sad but it really hammers in just how desperate he is to find a home. they dont really have anything else , their sense of being human is shaky at best because no matter how much he says hes just an ordinary man he knows he isnt . so having a place to belong to make up for the fact that there is nothing like them in the world and there never will be is something hes totally desperate for and their backstory hammers that in HARD . and just the art is just so well done ...something about the image of him just sitting alone in the desert really shatters my heart every time . honourable mention also goes to when he kicked the shit out of teruko , purely because its an excellent counteraction to people saying dumb shit about him being weak and pathetic

favourite moment - chuuya

ohhh..i think i really like the scene where the flags throw him a party . its nice to see him hanging around with his friends . even if theyre all a little bit fucked up . he deserves nice things even if he didnt fucking get to keep them god asagiri why

idea for a story - sigma and chuuya

ok i NEED YALL TO HEAR ME OUT on this crack theory that definitely will not happen but imagine if it did . now i trust dazai will come back for sigma butttt if he didnt . well dont you think mori , who sent chuuya into mersault , would be extremely pleased to have someone with an ability like sigmas . and sigma wouldnt really have too many options would he . being left behind again would probably kill any trust he had in the ada and really all his ability has ever been suiteed for is criminal activity right ? and that is how we get pm!sigma . which means chuuya and sigma interactions . they can bond over shared experiences like having somewhat funky relationships with humanity, terrible haircuts theyre somehow pulling off, and wanting to kick the shit out of dazai .

unpopular opinion - sigma

this is more of a bsdtwt / bsdtok problem but yall do know if you like a characters design but not their actual character you can just say that instead of making up an overused fanon personality for them right

unpopular opinion - chuuya

idk if this is unpopular exactly but it is blatantly obvious when people only like him in relation to dazai like it is not subtle at all

favourite relationship - sigma

ooh this is hard . if we're talking about shipping exclusively then sigzai is my fave (almost got put off it by the aforementioned annoying bsdtwt though lmfao) . but i do also find it very interesting how he interacts with and views fyodor and nikolai . i do wish we had more on how they were like as an organisation

favourite relationship - chuuya

again, talking shipping id probably have to go with skk , but even in a non shipping context it really does interest me how him and dazai interact . theyre so fucking weird

favourite headcanon - sigma

living up to my duties as ceo of transmasc sigma , thats obviously my favourite headcanon . hes soooo trans guy coded its insane . bless him . also my headcanon that he always has that new book smell hanging around him no matter what . cause . yknow .

favourite headcanon - chuuya

ok i also love to headcanon chuuya as a trans guy like honestly asagiri what is it with you accidentally coding all your funky little guys as trans . also i reckon hes a tea drinker . he will fuck that shit up . hes got all the fancy ones yknow those really weird flavours that honestly are barely even tea anymore thats just a fancy drink but hey the box is pretty so

#asks #sepiamestus #sorry this took me forever #ask game #sigma bsd #chuuya

[aprillikesthings]

LAST EPISODE

s5 ep13 heart pt 2

LET'S GOOOOOOO

it's 1:21pm and I have laundry to do AND Easter Vigil service starts at 8pm, can I get this all watched before 7pm?

Or am I gonna sit there in church vibrating in place for two hours knowing I have three minutes left on the episode or some bullshit lol

(That's longer than usual, yes. Easter Vigil is actually one of my fave services of the year--we start outside lighting candles (the ones inside have been out since Thursday night, even the one we otherwise never put out), then walk into the dark church, then sorta speedrun bits of the old testament (with a hymn after every reading) and then we decide OKAY IT'S EASTER NOW :D and turn on the lights and make a lot of noise and sing a few more hymns--we don't sing or say alleluia during Lent so all the hymns have that in it. There's often MASSIVE amounts of church incense, too. Anyway by the end it's a bit of a party. Apparently some churches have an actual party after the service.)(side note if you're new-ish to these posts that I'm Episcopalian, like, the priests at my church are a gay man and a woman, we're cool people mostly I promise)

See this is why these posts take forever. Why do I keep infodumping shit. This is what it's like to watch things with me in person, though.

If I get through this episode before Easter Vigil my reward is gonna be coming home and taking an edible and rewatching the last two episodes without screenshots so I can just cry over them.

oKAY

eh? that's new. like putting that on screen like that in dead silence. No intro sequence.

oh right Adora is injured. :( And it's some kind of magical monster thing that did it--a security thing put into the Crystal Castle by the First Ones

when she touches her wound the Failsafe glows, and it's making static-y noises and looking glitchy, that can't be good

the nasty tentacle monster thing is still there buT SO IS CATRA YAYYYY she shatters at least one of its eyeballs? I think?

my brain: this is like Caitlyn helping Vi after she got stabbed by Sevika, the wound is even in the same place :D me: wrong person has the red jacket on also Catra isn't going to buy some illegal potion thing to dose Adora with

(you should watch Arcane)

DOES SHE EVER SAY IT LIKE THAT BEFORE THIS?? oh god she sounds so breathless and relieved

Adora: "You can't be here! It's too dangerous"

And she stands up and starts to fall over and fucking Shadow Weaver helps her stand up, uGH

LOOK AT MY BB KICKING ASS

oh god so Shadow Weaver basically drags off Adora, Catra's like "I'll catch up, okay?" and Adora's like "no no Catraaaaa" her voice is cracking and everything, she doesn't want to do this without her and also worries about Catra and that tentacle monster thing

I'm not gonna screenshot it but poor Glimmer is fighting her dad, who is still chipped and Evil.

Bow is fighting Scorpia, also chipped and Evil. Oh hey Melog shows up and makes Bow invisible.

Micah is MEAN when chipped. He calls Glimmer a failure.

Glimmer: "My mother raised me to be brave. My friends taught me to be kind. And I'm stubborn. I get that from you. I will never stop fighting! And I won't lose another parent! I love you, dad."

She blasts him with enough magic that he collapses.

Bow, invisible, types away on Entrapta's computer she set up in the Horde thing, but when he gets it to start to do its thing he gets excited and says "I've got it!!" and Scorpia hears it and blasts him and is standing over him about to get him.

Bow: "Prime may have made you do a lot of things, but he can't turn you into something you're not. So, right now, all I need you to do is trust me."

Her eyes get normal for a second and she yells, and Bow slams a button on Entrapta's computer. There's a bright light.

Where Sea Hawk is holding Mermista, her chip goes dead and falls off. We get a lovely montage of other characters from all over Etheria, like Huntara and the folks at Elberon, who'd been chipped having their eyes go back to normal!

Scorpia: "oh my gosh I am so sorry!!"

yeah she's definitely back to normal lol

up on Horde Prime's ship:

lol

"My device worked! I knew it would!"

Bow: "Hey, everyone. I'm Bow."

(lol there's so much story in just this frame alone)

But yeah they show people from all over Etheria stopping to watch him speak, including his dads.

"Right now, we're the only thing standing in the way of him controlling it forever. You might be feeling hopeless. You might be thinking "We don't stand a chance." And maybe we don't. Prime's too strong. His army is too powerful. But that's not gonna stop us. We need to show Prime we're not afraid of him, because we have each other. And we have love. We can't give up. And if we go down, we go down together. We need you. All of you."

"It's time to fight. For She-Ra, for our homes, for each other!"

Broadcast over, back to Horde Prime. "Put an end to this mockery."

Catra injures the tentacle monster thing, but now that green is spreading into the room, and as Catra runs down the hall towards the Heart, she stops as Horde Prime shows up in hologram form

"I had such high hopes for you." like what, dude. keeping her around and chipped like a fucking puppet as an example? eugh. (something something about how her speeches to Adora while chipped were an obvious reference to people proselytizing high-control faiths)

the moment of distraction is enough for the tentacle monster to grab one of Catra's legs and she screams in pain D:

also there's still a bunch of earthquakes happening as these two limp towards the Heart

Poor Adora is just weakly going "No...no...wait" Shadow Weaver: "Don't lose your focus. We're so close."

What's this WE shit.

But also damn one thing Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime (and Light Hope!) have in common is they both believe love and affection and "attachments" are weaknesses. Shadow Weaver just cannot seem to get it through her head that Adora's love for Catra (and vice versa) is helpful here. Not a detriment. Love isn't a distraction!!! It gives us a stable ground of security and safety from which to do hard things!!

Meanwhile poor Angella told Adora "take care of each other."

This is pulsating, and so is the Failsafe on Adora's chest

OH NO oh god Okay being near that much hardcore magic is making Shadow Weaver powerful--her hair does the floaty thing for the first time since, what, s2? And she starts reaching for it, but THEN--

Adora yells Catra's name and starts walking back towards her, and Shadow Weaver's hair falls down again and she says the most weirdly desperate-sounding "Adora, wait!"

Prime's hologram is still torturing Catra along with the actual tentacle monster

(someone has drawn rule 34 of that thing but I'm not looking for it. I am content to know it exists.)

AND THEN THE MONSTER GETS BLASTED BY SHADOW WEAVER AHAHA NICE

about time she was useful amiright

okay so is this Shadow Weaver actually realizing she's been wrong about The Power of Love, or is this just her begrudgingly accepting that these two are Sold as A Set, Do Not Separate, and unless Catra's there Adora won't be able to use the Failsafe because she'll be looking for Catra the whole time???

Like is this an emotional epiphany or just pragmatism?

oh god so she magically shoves Catra away (towards Adora), but Catra runs back to Shadow Weaver

And y'all I know I talked about this a LOT way back in earlier seasons but I cannot tell you how accurate this keeps being in regards to dealing with an abusive parent. Like if you'd asked me, even after I cut off contact, if I wanted my dad to die, I would've said No! Of course not! At that point I didn't know whether the no-contact thing was temporary or not. I just knew I needed time and space to not be constantly stressed and anxious, for a notification on my phone to not immediately fill me with so much adrenaline my hands shook.

Anyway Shadow Weaver puts up a magical shield to keep Catra back

Shadow Weaver's response is amazingly calm and quiet. "Please, Catra. You need to make sure Adora reaches the Heart. The magic must be set free."

Her fight with Tentacle Monster isn't going well.

Catra's voice is heartbreaking here. "Stop it! It's going to kill you!"

"But you, this is only the beginning for you."

;_;

STICK THAT KNIFE IN AND TWIST IT! YEAH!

Catra's crying "no...no..." and a hand reaches out and grabs hers

LOL FINALLY HIT THE IMAGE LIMIT okay going to reblog

what a moment for it pfft

#april rewatches spop #heart pt 2

[the-vibes-are-off]

The Stormlight Archive Volume 1: The Way of Kings’ Review: Chapters 5-8

link to contents page - https://at.tumblr.com/the-vibes-are-off/hey-hey/96xd9ohihrzs

Right, well, you know how I said in my previous post that my COVID test was negative? Yeah so I was swiftly clowned and I am now SICK right on essay season. I have dug out crusty dusty old HP Pavilion to do work but I’m essentially only using it for Tumblr so. My partner is officially in another country now (I know you’re going to read this so pls come back I am dying) so I cant even be babied 24/7 due to the time difference. On season 4 of Criminal Minds already tho so ....

In terms of reading, I am officially back and LOVING it. I am limiting myself to 4 chapters in one setting because that’s how much I want my review sections to cover and writing this takes longer than I thought it would tbh. Lets get to it! 

Spoiler Free Zone:

The split narrative is like definitely managing my problems with maintaining my attention. I will say that since Kaladin’s story line, although definitely interesting don’t get me wrong, would probably get boring if it was all I was reading. I’m more a magic and lore and pretty women fantasy enjoyer than a grr fight fantasy enjoyer since my like gritty lit enjoyment comes from different genres.

Loving the direction that Shallan’s plot line is going in, I’m glad Brandon doesn’t just give the characters what they want straight away and there is at least the illusion that they’re working for something even though its obvious they’ll achieve it eventually.

Mostly, I’m just loving the characters they’re introducing in Shallan’s story, maybe not so much SOME people (a certain person specifically I dislike is beginning, BEGINNING to grow on me) as they’re just so lovely and cute and nice and ugh we love to see it.

*** SPOILERS INCOMING ***

Spoiler Zone:

I’m saying it now, I did initially think Jasnah was just a bitch tbh like I get she’s all important and up her own ass or whatever but she doesn’t appreciate art??? I get Shallan like couldnt just get what she wanted but like .... come on. I was so mad when she just started shouting n shit when Shallan was waiting in the alcove like get a grip pls. However.... turning a boulder to smoke? I had to tab that as cool, like that was just a smart idea to clear it and a cool fckn power to have 

Shallan wanting to steal tho? I love her, a true icon as she should steal from the bitch. I literally just tabbed it love this bc ? Slay like what else could I do. I’d steal it too 

aaaaaaaaand then were back to Kaladin actually just getting fucking shit on at every turn yet again. mf has to carry a bridge?? and then get shot at with arrows?? my goodness give this man a break 

The spren getting a name tho like Syl is acc like carrying Kaladin’s arc for me I want to know what is going on there I am trying so hard not to spoil it for myself

From an arts and humanities student standpoint, I did tab Shallan describing how she views her art and the process of creation as like fleshy and human. Like in both studying and writing poetry I relate to capturing a person or a place or a moment on paper 

And then 2 cuties that I simply had to draw attention to in Brother Kabsal and Yalb. They are iconic and I adore them the end :*

Tab Count:

Cute: 2

Fights: 1

Sad: 1 

Death: 0

Cool: 0 

Wtf wow: 1

Wtf why: 0 

Slay Quotes: 0 

Love this: 2

Hate this: 0

Tab Total:

Cute: 3

Fights: 4

Sad: 1

Death: 2

Cool: 4

Wtf wow: 2

Wtf why: 1

Slay Quotes: 3

Love this: 5

Hate this: 1

PS: If anyone actually reads this far down comment (or post me if you’re feeling generous) your fave tea to drink when you’re sick because I’m going through maybe 10 cups a day and I am swiftly running out....

#brandon sanderson #the way of kings #stormlight archive #kaladin stormblessed #kaladin #shallan #shallan davar #jasnah kholin #book #books #books and reading #book review #fantasy #high fantasy #book tabbing #book annotations #english literature #literature #literature review

[minaminokyoko]

I'm here for Nike as their ship name. It's funny and cute!

Also, what was your favourite scene of them?

Bwahahahaha! Yes! Alright, we're gonna call it Nike from now on!

It's hard to choose one! Um, lemme see...him waking up and telling her to fuck off had me dying. Because I'm a nuance person, right? I love if a movie--even one that I consider as frustrating as this one--knows the beats and quirks of its characters and shows me that they have a unique relationship, whether that's platonic or romantic, and that scene was so telling. It was telling in that Tyler is still Tyler even after his brush with death and Nik is his touchstone. He only shows softness and vulnerability when he's near her. He knows she's his safe place and she knows he understands her and cares for her just as much. I loved getting to see them together the whole movie through this time around. People will argue whether it's platonic or romantic love until they are blue in the face, but either way it is VERY clear they both love each other.

Him catching her before she fell off the building is another scene where I was wiggling and giggling like a maniac in my seat. Dude. Bro went off hard. He risked everything for her. He was not gonna drop her. Either they were both gonna die or no one did and that's some serious devotion and love right there too. Especially after my man got shot in the fucking hand and STILL wouldn't let her go. And extra kudos for Nik waking up and saving them both like the fucking badass she is. Gosh, their entire dynamic in this movie is the shit I get out of bed for. I LOVE two completely badass people who have an unspoken thing for each other but their actions speak much louder than all the shit they don't say to each other.

And lastly, props to the way they filmed him comforting her. He says nothing and just leans into her. Wow. Man. That's love, y'all. That's what it looks like. I mean, I would've liked him to have said something, but the touch was enough. It really conveyed that they've been through hell together and they are the other half of each other's soul, whether you argue platonic or romantic.

tl;dr--my three faves are him waking up, him catching her before she fell off the roof, and him comforting her. But last mention goes to "I'm not leaving her behind." YESSSSSSS MOTHERFUCKER YESSSSSSS OH HE LOVES THAT WOMAN TO DEATH.

Thank you for allowing me to fangirl like a dumbass. xD

#ask #answer #Extraction 2 #Tyler Rake #Nik Khan #Nike

[mostlymaudlin]

fanfic writer challenge!

instructions:

list & explain the three lines/moments from canon that are most fundamental to how you write your fave character

challenge 3 more fic writers to do the same!

ok i did this for carry on but im doing a separate one for aftg <3 because its fun

it is surprising to no one, but my fave character to write is andrew :) and i gotta put this puppy under a read more because i wrote way too much. i have [clenches fist] SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT ANDREW MINYARD !!!

but first, ill tag: @sillyunicorn @starwarned @takitalks @rainbow-0bsidian @pipedream-darling @otherworldsivelivedin @mrskrementz @fortheloveofexy @seasy33 @jostenminyard

(doing more than three to get the ball rolling lol)

Andrew's smile vanished when the elevator started its slow crawl down. Neil returned his stare, every muscle tensed for a fight. At the fifth floor, Andrew pushed away from the back railing and started for Neil. He reached for Neil's keys, but Neil moved the ring out of reach. Andrew tried again, and Neil had to step back to dodge his grab. He backed right into the metal doors and realized a moment too late Andrew didn't care about his keys at all. He buried the ring in his pocket, feeling pinned in. How stupid, that someone so short could have such a presence. -- (The Foxhole Court, Chapter 2)

ok, a long one to start, but important ! one of the reasons i love writing andrew is because of the way hes fucking nuts. and as someone who is also nuts, this is pleasing to me. and let me make this point without using silly euphemisms: mania is a state in which a person is heightened, but they are still fundamentally themselves. their thoughts are not limited by silly things like filters or predicting consequences. it is impulse and pleasure-chasing. so! when i look at andrew, who is supposedly on some whacked out fake drug that induces mania, i think about how his actions that could be brushed off as "he's just high" actually reflect an andrew without inhibitions. this is especially helpful when looking at andrew in TKM, when he becomes incredibly difficult to read.

this scene is the reverse, though, and that's why it's important to me. andrew is not on his medicine here, but he's not Mr. Repressed either. this is an in-between, where he's choosing to let some of himself shine through (mostly with the intention of freaking out neil, lol). and it's great, because andrew shows us a few big things:

he reads & understands people SO well, even if he rarely caters to their needs. the fact that he goes for neil's keys on day 1 to draw a reaction is like... yep. you got him lol.

he is willing to take drastic measures in the name of.... well, at this point in the story we're not sure, but soon we'll see that its to protect his people

he's crazy???? lol. i just think andrew's dialogue in tfc/trk in his brief unmedicated moments (and even his manic ones!) are so indicative of how andrew thinks. he's so fucking weird. in this scene, he follows his cornering act with "How nice to meet you, Neil," Andrew drawled. that's so weird!! he's weird. his brain is silly and clever and quick. This bit and others like it are the foundation on which ive built my version of his POV.

now, speaking of andrew's brain --

Andrew stared stone-faced back at him. Neil would have assumed it a silent rejection of Neil's veiled accusations if Andrew's hand hadn't frozen midair between them. -- (The King's Men, Chapter 11)

let's set the scene. immediately before this, neil has suggested they go on spring break, implied that there was a this, then hit andrew with his "And I am nothing" / "And as you've always said, you want nothing."

so like. andrew just got punched in the gut approximately six times in under a minute. poor guy. when neil prompts him back into action, he first threatens to kill neil, and then kisses the shit out of him. squeeee, ROMANCE!!!

when i look at this scene, i think of that first quote i pulled. i think of andrews silly and clever and quick brain, and about how much work he does to keep his mask on. there are plenty of times his mask cracks, but this one is the most fun because he is so clearly being overwhelmed by FEELINGS. he is confused by neil, irritated with him for bringing up all these things that andrew long ago decided didn't matter, and furious with himself for wanting it all too. he has to freeze so that none of that slips out of his mouth or onto his face. when he recovers, he deflects thru being mean (which is useless against neil, but still a satisfying way to blow off some steam) and then kissing him :) because really, that's what it all boils down to: andrew wants neil so bad it makes him want to murder him.

and look at this, a nice transition to the final scene!

"Rumor has it I'm pretty interesting."

"Don't believe everything you hear."

Neil ignored that dismissal because Andrew was already pulling him down again. They kissed until Neil felt dizzy, until he wasn't sure he could hold himself up anymore, and then Andrew pulled Neil's hand off the beanbag chair. He held it up and away from them for an eternity, then slowly pressed it flat against his chest and let go. Andrew tensed up under Neil's hand but relaxed before Neil could pull away. --(The Kings Men, Chapter 15) (The second Chapter 15) (Because thats something we have to clarify in these dumbass books)

oh my GOD. has a scene ever scened like this scene scened. has a touch ever meant so much. has a character ever tried this hard. ok, once we've all finished banging our heads against the wall and screaming, let's review:

andrew wants neil so bad it makes him want to murder him. but andrew also wants neil so bad that it makes him want to TRY. im actually going to take this apart bit by bit because if for some reason you're still reading this madness, i think you'll appreciate the detail LOL.

ok, first: before this paragraph, neil confronts andrew again with the gravity of their relationship, and andrew plays his usual game of deflecting and bullying. that doesnt work (andrew, has that EVER worked???***) so of course the next action is kissing.

and kissing and kissing and kissing.

and somewhere in all this kissing that is so good that neil is dizzy, something in andrew says: i want more. he takes neil's hand, maybe on impulse, and has to stop to think about what he's going to do. and then he tries to give: he places neil's hand on his chest, LETS GO, and then relaxes under his touch.

its hard to tell how much of this was impulse and how much was thought through. im willing to bet it was mostly impulse, especially because andrew doesnt hit neil with a "i never do anything i dont want to do" when neil acknowledges that this is probably something theyre not ready for. (instead, andrew reacts by deflecting/bullying -- "One hundred and one" -- and then more kissing. so predictable!).

but still! it says so much. it says that he wants and wants and wants, he dreams about things he thinks he'll never have. and neil keeps trying to prove him wrong, and andrew wants to believe him so badly, wants to SHOW neil that he's starting to believe him. scream!!! andrew invented romance. he put neils hand on his chest and LET GO. he said: "look. im trying. i want this too, even if i cant even think the words." he said: "i want to figure out how to trust you."

because underneath it all, i believe andrew is a deeply hopeful creature, and that is the thing he hates most about himself. he wants a home, he wants a family, he wants to belong -- and it makes him feel so fucking foolish. its easier to wrap these wants up in duties and protections, concrete and emotionless things. but neil never actually wanted andrew's protection, yet he still wants andrew more than anyone ever has before. thats fuckin earth-shattering. theres only so much deflecting and bullying and kissing you can do before some of that deeply buried hope claws its way out.

SO YEAH i really didnt need to do all that but i did. if youre still reading then like LOL youre a trooper hope u enjoyed the 2AM Nerd Rory show. but i think about andrew a lot (obviously) and hes such a difficult character to write, so returning to scenes like these three really help ground me in the version of him that lives in my head. so that i can put him in situations :)

***actually wait i just remembered one time where the bullying/deflecting worked, so here's a bonus. in ch 10, the make it to finals and have a party at abbys. andrew and neil are outside, and neil is frustrated with andrews apathy -- "Would it kill you to let something in?" / "It almost did last time." -- and then also starts talking oh so earnestly about how andrew could be court if he'd just TRY. andrew, obviously, gets mad and asks Neil if hes capable of talking about anything other than Exy. which actually hurts neil's feelings, because neil just really likes talking to andrew about exy (the thing hes most passionate about) & deeply values his opinions, and hes upset by the implication that they dont actually have this in common.

and like, you could read this as andrew just being sick of talking about exy lol. but i see it as part of the pattern. andrew is triggered, first of all. and then neil is being a little too earnest about the future and andrew, talk to me. and andrew's fucking overwhelmed !!! he does not know what to do with this! so: lash out. hit neil where it hurts. deflect and bully.

#my writing #ive done a lot of unhinged things on this site but like this might be up there #welcome to the depths of how much i think abt this goddamn CHARACTER

[hecku-luna]

30 Day Danganronpa Challenge but April is pretty far away and I can't slowburn for shit so here we go!!

(Spoilers for the entire Danganronpa series, obviously)

1. HIMIKO!!!

2. Either Teruteru, Kazuichi, or Haiji. Genuinely awful people. (Hifumi is disgusting too, but at least he tries(?) to keep it to 2D only. I guess.)

3. All of them!! Yes, ALL of them!!

4. Definitely gotta go to Gundham. Considering he's one of the only good ones lmao

5. If she didn't get killed off in the first fucking chapter, Kaede would be an absolute lock. But Shuichi's good too, at the very least compared to the other protags. I would say Komaru too, but she called Haiji's creepy ass tendencies "attractive," so...

6. I had to think for a good minute about whether I could reasonably say I like any of the other characters that fit the antagonist mold than the obvious and overplayed. But. Fuck it, it's like they say! It's always Junko!

7. CHIYOMIKO!!!!!

8. Straight ships in general tbh, but ESPECIALLY involving Hifumi, Teruteru, Kazuichi, or Haiji

9. You could not pay me to care about the interactions between two men

10. If I HAD to pick a favorite straight ship, gun pointed to my head and bombs strapped to my family and loved ones... I guess Saimatsu isn't the worst. Can I go now, Jigsaw?

11.

12. See #7 UwU

13. V3. As long as I pretend chapter 6 doesn't exist

14. CHIHIRO!!!! 🏳️‍⚧️

15. HIYOKO!!!! 👘

16. HIMIKO!!!! 🪄

17.

18. It's kind of a tossup between Ultimate Programmer and Ultimate Artist, as those are THE most important things to my goals of creating my own video games

19. Probably Gundham's for the emotional weight of it. There's just... something about seeing the Four Dark Devas of Destruction's reaction to the execution of their master that made me sad the first time I saw it.

20. If this is like favorite OST overall? Probably V3's anyway? But if we're talking favorite song... LET'S START THE KILLING GAME!!!

21. HIYOKO IN A HEARTBEAT

22. Gundham's, for the reasons listed in 19. He's also the only guy in the SDR2 cast that I can confidently say I like, so that also had part in it

23. The DR3 girl with the Pikachu hoodie and homophobia in her eyes

24. ALL OF THE GIRLS HONEST TO GOD. But surprisingly enough, I think I'd go with Hiyoko first and foremost cause I can see us starting so much shit together lmao

25. I'm gonna assume this is weak as in relating to the narrative, so I'm gonna go with Kurokuma. Like, did he even do anything? At all? I mean, it's been a while since I've sat through UDG, but I genuinely do not remember him contributing to anything besides half-baked comic relief

26. Gonna get controversial here. My candidates are Makoto, Ishimaru, Hajime, and Keebo. Whichever one makes people the most upset, that's my pick

27. Oh, y'all are gonna hate me for this one. Himiko. She had some GROWTH, she went through some SHIT, and she still lived to tell the tale. To any of y'all who say she didn't deserve it, I hope your favorite character in Kodaka's next project gets killed immediately.

28. Okay this one was actually easier than i thought it would be. Ibuki for sure! She lives and breaths the 2000s, how could I not wanna dress like her every day if I had the option?

29. Again, HIMIKO!!!

30. I'm starting to think there's a theme here...

-------------

And with that, my Danganronpa opinions are out in the open for the public to scrutinize every last detail of! Here's my faves made in Pony Town as treat for making it this far ^w^

#danganronpa #danganronpa fandom #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #danganronpa v3: killing harmony #30 day challenge #except not really cause i don't wanna have two things to keep track of every day lmao #fandom opinions #hot take warning

[bleep-blop-lizard-hop]

WARRIOR IS BACK!!!

May favorite show is back! So many thoughts and Feelings! Just gonna throw this out into the void!

Warrior S3E1-3

Ah Toy/Nellie/Lai—As always, gotta start with my fave girl and her wife! It’s been only 2 months since season 2 so she hasn’t fully healed yet. She’s been spending a lot more time at Nellie’s vineyard. Those two and Lai make such an adorable little family! After all she’s been through, Ah Toy deserve some love and happiness. Alas, it’s not easy being an interracial gay relationship at this time. The vineyard was their safe space where they could be together freely, until Douglas Dickhead barged in. This guy clearly do not understand the concept of “no”.   He’s still salty he got rejected by a lesbian lmao. It was incredibly painful to see the destruction of the vineyard, though the fight was awesome. Shotgun Nellie, let’s gooo! Love the other girls fighting back too! That one motherfucker with the whip! Lai saving her mom! I really hope they can get through this and get revenge on those assholes. I wouldn’t forgive the writers for pulling a bury your gays during Pride Month.

Hop Wei—Young Jun and Ah Sahm are still on thin ice with each other. Poor lovable Hong gets to play the peacemaker in the middle. He also gets some loving this season, good for him! Business is bad because of extra police presence and racist laws being enforced. YJ going off on that old man was not a good look, ouch. This new money printing scheme will only lead to trouble later on. I also think it’s an important metaphor about money and power being the tools of hatred and inequality. Ah Sahm has a new LI named Yan Mi, who doesn’t put up with his bullshit. I like her fire. Ah Sahm is a feminist for dating strong women who drag the shit out of him. He’s also struggling with being a gangster or a hero for his people. Also his relationship with Mai Ling and YJ. 

Long Zhii—Mai Ling seems to be the only one who’s winning right now. Her alliance with Buckley has protected her Tong from the police raids. Now she’s absorbing other Tongs and expanding her influence outside of Chinatown. It’s interesting seeing a different side of her while interacting with the rich white ladies. It brings up the idea of assimilation into white society for acceptance, which often isn’t true. Also the eagerness of white people to consume Trauma Porn from POC. Mai Ling is covertly manipulating them, but it’s possible they can turn on her just like that. I think she might have learn a very hard lesson later on. Also why is she so impressed with that fugly pink dress??? Have you SEEN your wardrobe on this show?? Also Li Yong getting more depth and his friendship with new character Kon Pak(?). It kind of remind me of the relationship between YJ and Ah Sahm. He’s already whispering into Li Yongs ear about being leader of the Long Zhii. Their fight scene in episode 2 was dope! Shoutout to the legend Brett Chen, lead stunt coordinator for the show! Coordinating your own death must be fun lol.

Chao being Chao as usual lol. Zing’s gonna be after him tho.

Finally, a lot of new characters to shake things up this season. I love the show but I wish  it would have 90% less screen time for the racist white people, as “complex” as they are. 

Getting 3 episodes after 3 fucking years is amazing! Now I just have to wait for episode 4 😭

#Breaking my silence on Tumblr only for Warrior #Ah Toy her wife and their daughter!!! #I'm really worried about them after these episodes #Seriously Dickhead has to fucking DIE #Buckley too #So happy to see all of them again! #Thank God it's on HBO Max now because more people need to watch it #It deserves a season 4 and beyond #warrior cinemax #warrior hbo #warrior hbo max #hbo max #ah toy #olivia cheng #nellie davenport #ah toy x nellie davenport #lai #ah sahm #andrew koji #mai ling #Dianne doan #young jun #Jason tobin #li yong #joe taslim #wang chao #hoon lee #brett chen #mark decascos #hop wei

[wildmelon]

i wrote this like two months ago when i finished, but im posting it now for my own record lol.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING FOR CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 1

scrambled critical role thoughts and opinions after finishing c1:

oh boy i cried through vax's goodbye scene in the last episode, but holy shit i fucking sobbed through his appearance in dalen's closet. how the fuck was liam so perfect at playing an altered version of vax that was still him at heart. every interaction was perfect. cannot describe how i felt when he addressed scanlan, how the fuck could he come up with such a perfect ingenious opener, i was in tears immediately.

i would not have believed you if you told me when i started that scanlan and grog would have been my favorites at the end of the campaign. (well maybe a little bc i am a confirmed travis stan but seriously i didn't anticipate the level of depth, comedy, and heart he brought to grog). grog's kevdak speech is a campaign highlight for me-- no, a 2023 highlight.

i obviously found scanlan somewhat annoying but funny if often outdated. i kind of just wrote it off as something i'd ignore but sam really made a comeback like damn, i was very happy and surprised when he apologized to pike.

scanlan leaving discourse is old news but for me personally it reminded me of myself in really dark times and the ways poor mental health can make you kinda self-centered. not mad about how any of it went down or how it was resolved, and i love how his and vex's relationship became a highlight for me after his return.

i honestly loved the super high emotional stakes of VM, felt like someone was always mad at someone else, i'm a sucker for inter-party conflict and intense emotional scenes. these guys have so much angst and i love it.

i really enjoyed the tight pacing and goal-oriented episodes. i tend to get stressed out when there's too many broad choices about what to do next in any sort of media lol. this campaign also rly showed me how much i love watching high-level play.

i don't fuck with percy??????? lmfao i don't hate him or anything, i literally can't put it any way besides idfw that man. 😭 he's an interesting character ofc and i do like his friendship with keyleth

keyleth was my fave for most of the campaign. her growth was so rewarding to watch, she made me laugh so many times, i love seeing her become a leader, just adore her and she's such a comfort character to me. bought myself a simple ring with "I have passed through fire" engraved on the inside to celebrate my didn't-kill-myself-aversary this year bc that letter was exactly what i needed to hear 😭

kiki and vax never interested me thatttt much UNTIL they became eternally star-crossed lovers jfc. that is my catnip. tbh it's interesting to me that VM is held up by some as having superior romance to TMN, but i didn't find any of VM's romance super compelling.

since it's been a couple months since i finished, i can add that vex is who i've thought most about since i finished?? i always liked her, loved the grey hunt, adored her relationship with vax, but didn't know i had strong feelings until after i'd finished watching. funny how that happens.

the mighty nein start out fucked up and end up pretty good, while vox machina start out pretty cool and then get super fucked up 😭 much as i love outcasts finding family, it was really fun to watch all these archetypal fantasy Cool Guys just go through so much emotional damage lmao.

#critical role #vox machina spoilers #cr c1 spoilers #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #suicide ment cw #suicide mention #lush.talk

[onlyjaeyun]

oh my i was going through your little emojis that were in use and i just remembered that when i was an anon i would use the ♋️🩵. So user reveal that’s me hiii 👋. Still here promise ! Just not much of an anon anymore 😭

Anyways CH 18!!!! AAAASHHHJWJJEKEJENE is what came to mind when i read it. You writing from 12-4am DEDICATION and i aspire. Literally you writing at those hours gave me the motivation to get on my treadmill and do my workout. So thank you for that. I hope your pillow was the coldest most comfortable thing ever that night and forever and that you got enough rest 🥹🥹.

Now speaking about that chapter….

KAKEKEKNEMEMDMDMEI OH MY GOOODNESS 😱😱😱😱😱 literally me the whole time i was with my jaw on the floor clutching my pillow for dear life. The snippet of the fall out. I am seated 🪑 for that. I can’t wait for whenever you decide to drop that.

*sigh* Tsuki my girl fuck CH!Seung. I want her now 😩😩😩. Such a sweet soul and epitome of a girls girl. Love her she a fave love her wish nothing but the best hearts for Tsuki 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼.

The build up to the them getting down and dirty. Sunghoon sir you are BOLD. Everytime this man spoke my jaw would be an inch closer to the ground. Left me speechless in a good way.

The baby pet name drop 😭😭 like CH!YN better than me would have allowed this man do just about anything no questions asked 😊😊😊. The aftercare round of applause for this man 👏👏👏👏. 📣 WE SCREAMED WE CRIED WE CHEERED📣. This man already running laps around the entirely of SK to get the image of her in his shirt out his mind 🏃💨. Got him sweating, huffing and puffing at the thoughts. Like ain’t not way she giving that back to him. Once they get together he going to purposely leave his shit in her room so she can wear it. When she does and he sees her wearing it he going to be whining, moaning, and groaning at her but in reality he thrives of that shit. Loves to see her wear his clothes. Got him all giggly and what not 🤭🤭🤭

Lastly how can i forgot the kiss. That kiss is going to have both of them spiraling 🌀 i just know it. Like they going to brush it off for a bit but every time they see each other they get like heated at the fact that they want to kiss each other again.

OMG YOU WRE THAT NONIE BABY WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SO WORRIED BC I THOUGHT YOU DISAPPEARED 🤕🤕🤕 IM SO GLAD YOU DECIDED TO COME BACK OFF ANON FKDNFLFLF SO EXCITING HELLO BABY!🥺💗

thank you so so so so so much for these sweet words baby, they're everything to me like the fact you cuys are so appreciative and supportive really means a lot to me 🥺💗 and honestly i have only recently started writing so fast bc back when i had just started it took me so long but now i just write without overthinking too much, deffo recommend taht since ik a lot of my fellow writers go through the same struggles 😭

im so glad we all love CH!tsuki sm because she's really the cutest and sweetest babe ever and deffo one of my comfort characters in this fic she's SUCH a girls girl and it makes me so happy WE LOVE CH!TSUKI!!!!🥺💗

STOP YOURE SO FUCKING CUTE THANK YOU SM FOR SO MUCH LOVE ON CH.18 YOURE THE BEST THIS MADE ME GIGGLE SM😭😭😭💗 and your brain is so so sexy for the last part because FUCK yeah he would leave his stuff at her place and then get excited to see her in it but she'd pretend like she thought it's one of the other boys' just to see his reaction until he makes sure to fuck her in his clothes and make sure she knows not to fuck with him I LOVE THEM AND YOU SM 🤕🤕💗

ngl i am SO happy you guys loved the kiss as much as i do bc damn i was so sadni couldn't elaborate it further bc you know i would have gone full on romantic mood and had to hold myself back...sOON!!🤕

thank you sm for this baby, glad you decided to reveal yourself i always loved your asks sm 🥺

#; mailbox 📬 #; cold hearts