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ettawritesnstudies · 11 months

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Thank You

If you’ll permit me a minute to be cliche: this photo would not have been possible without you. When I started university in August 2019, the sum of all my author-y potential measured up to:

No finished manuscripts

A pipe dream of ever publishing my work

A scatterbrained outline of The Laoche Chronicles

Forty-four phone notes full of half-witted ideas

A grand total of 3 followers on my brand-new tumblr account

At the time, I had no grand plans of marketing my work, though I knew it would be necessary if I ever wanted an audience. I chose a degree in chemical engineering because I knew my baby platform and half finished stories weren’t going to cut it as a career in their current state as an 18-year-old, and I needed to have a day job if I wanted to pursue my end dream of self publishing. I was just hoping to survive my first year of engineering school, pass my weed-out classes, and hopefully make some new friends. That fall semester passed with sporadic progress on my book, and halfhearted attempts at breaking into the writeblr community, until I decided to try my hand at Inktober and made my first few acquaintances: @siarven and @abalonetea, who have both featured on this blog since then. It was also at this point, sometime during a Calculus III lecture, that I invented my pen name:

All was going well, and I was pleased with my incremental progress until the world ended.

The less said about the pandemic, the better. Writeblr truly kept me sane through working full-time jobs and taking 18 credit hours during the semester. When I was truly close to dropping out of school, I kept going, knowing I had these online friends to cheer me up after brutal exams and long nights of studying. The tag games and community filled the dearth of interaction left by quarantine and an insane schedule. During my summer internship in 2020, I finally had the time to finish the first draft of Storge and the confidence in myself to start a website. Rereading my first post is a surreal experience, in part because I still see myself as a little kid as hiding under the blankets with a flashlight, notebook, and pen, thinking “I wanna write a book!”

I woke up the next day crying to the sheer volume of kind messages congratulating me on meeting this milestone. Instead of feeling burnt out after reaching such a lofty goal, this gave me all the more energy to keep working. Since then, I’ve been so blessed to grow this community and this website. It’s incredible to see how far I’ve come, now being able to claim:

A finished manuscript of Storge

A 3rd draft of Runaways after going through 2 rounds of Beta Readers

8 short stories and an audio drama

An active mailing list

Over 1000 followers on tumblr, but more importantly, a thriving community of writers who support each other’s releases through ARCs, leaving reviews, enthusiastic questions, and a welcoming space for new writers to share their craft.

140 posts on my website and regular readers who care about my ramblings ❤

Now I’m on my way to my new job – I’ll be doing research and development in my chosen field with a team I really like, and the freedom to listen to books while I’m in the lab. This next month will still be a hiatus for blog posts and new writing as I pack up my life for a cross-states move, but I’m beyond excited to enter change. My hope is that I can start saving for editing costs and devote more time to my craft thanks to a 9-5 schedule and NO!!! HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!! Really, I cannot say enough how thrilled I am to never have to take another exam ever again, thank GOD. With a bit of luck and no small amount of grace, I hope I can publish and share my stories with you sooner rather than later.

Thank you for all the support and camaraderie these past years. In a way, I owe this diploma to you as much as to my classmates and professors. The night before graduation, I said to my friends, “I’ve been waiting for tomorrow for eight years.” Now I’m living in the future, and I can’t wait to write the next chapter.

#etta rambles #graduation

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all-soul-crossover-comic · 3 months

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BIIIGG ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ALL SOUL!!!

I know I haven't been posting much, but trust me, it's for a damn good reason. That reason being...

I'm making a webcomic!!! An original one! This is amazing! (For me at least.) I haven't really felt anything with my past stories aside from this one because they've always had to be something, and I could never figure out how to get from point A to point B in a "respectable" way. (That way being with no fun or whimsy or glitter and sparkles). It's been occupying my brain just as much as All Soul usually would. So much so that I might either leave all soul off here or write the chapters exclusively in text. Script form, of course. Descriptive writing isn't my strong suit, I've realized...

I'm still working out the details of the story but it still feels like that all soul thing where a lot of different lore from different things are mixed and matched. A bit from kaiba, a bit from moomin. That sort of thing. I'm trying not to give too much away in case I either end up dropping it due to lack of motivation or the story changes drastically, but I can confirm that it shares a lot of DNA with All Soul (due to them having the same mother lmfao) so if you liked this, you might like my future original work! I'm really excited about it and worldbuilding has been so fun, and I haven't been so invested in writing since I started with the basic concept of All Soul 7 years ago. I think about it often still, just not in the way I used to, yk? Like I finally feel content with just having it live in my head again. It doesn't need to be a whole thing, it doesn't need to be like that one loud house fanfic that gets updated every few hours and has more than 1000 chapters.

More about the webcomic

My plan isn't set in stone (mostly because that's the only way to go assure that I won't complete anything at all) but I plan on releasing it on webtoon canvas, tapas, or Tumblr itself! Will she go to boarding school or will she stay in public school with her older sibling? Find out in about a year from now!

That's right! It's January, and i said a year! I plan on using 2024 as my sort of planning phase. I don't want to rush into this like I did in the past with my other abandoned projects. I hope to reveal the main plot for it in at least a few months, if I don't forget. It stars a female protagonist (because I can only read books or watch movies about womengirls or I get so bored that my brain functions start slowing down and my eyes start rolling into the back of my head), and that's pretty much all I can say! It features a straight romance because I love prettyboys and none of you can stop my teenager brain from being attracted to men, and borrows a lot of worldbuilding things from Winx Club. I hope I can share it with you all soon! See you all next time!

If you wanna maybe see some of the details about it sooner, or just see what else I got on my mind, follow my main blog, @eepop-stuffs .

#fan comic #crossover #all soul crossover comic #original webcomic #webcomic

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gimmethatagustd · 3 months

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Hi!! Okay so this is a bit of a weird ask (??) but I just went on a ~trip~ through your blog and thought you'd like to know. Maybe. Possibly.

So, I randomly remembered about TFM Yoongi, and super super got the itch to re-read it again. I knew it was on hiatus (literally a few days after I first read it 🥲), but I had it saved on my ✨secret bts fanfiction side-blog✨and on ao3. Couldn't find it. Panicked.

Quickly skimmed through your masterlist and wips - no signs of life. Maybe yoongles took it with him to the army for some late night reading? I considered sending you an ask, but then I was like - No, poor babygirl author probably gets a bunch of these, I'd much rather go through their posts, than to be yet another "WhEre iS tHe fiC" random stranger.

So I did. Did I find any additional info on it? Why is it gone? No. We love tumblr's search function 👍 It's fine, I'm emo anyways, grief is my companion (joking - you do do. It was fire though, I miss it dearly. Jimin was so sassy "Miss Thang" omg. Also poc rep ?? Yes).

HOWEVER. I did notice the delicious amount of DPR IAN discourse (my husband actually) AND that one post about Logic's Supermarket (i have yet to read it but the album is so slay. I actually like it better than some of his "official" stuff oop-). And I just kept thinking, damn, I love the vibes here, we're practically besties at this point.

So I guess here I am??? I don't even read that much BTS ff anymore BUT 👀 I'm all up for more Adorable Representative MCs For Youth content on my dash. We ball I suppose. I hope you have a nice day/week/ whatever 💜

HI I'M SORRY I'M FINALLY RESPONDING TO THIS !! i've been such a mess the past few days from work, so i wanted to make sure i gave myself time to actually respond to this ask properly since you were kind enough to send me such a lovely message!

you are correct, TFM is gone 😭 i deleted it from tumblr and AO3 because i was unhappy with my writing and where the story was going. i was excited for it, and then everything kinda fell apart. I'm sorry!! a lot of people got mad at me for that LMFAO, but i really grew to hate that series, and i figured it would be better to just delete it. i didn't delete the actual fic tho. like i have all my writing saved. i've considered rewriting it to be yoonmin instead of a reader-insert cuz i lowkey hate writing reader-inserts but i still do it for my tumblr followers hjsdfks but that is TBD

i'm glad you enjoyed it tho!! i think i got in my head over it idk. i love the idea and the characters (and FUCK YES diamond was my favorite character. we need queer poc representation in fics~ one thing about me is i'm gonna always give it if i can in a fic 😤) but yeah ! ANYWAY

DPR IAN. i'm gonna write a drabble for him, probably in February~ so i hope you enjoy it when i do!

AND OMG ok i need to read supermarket soon. we can do a book club lmfao. i will 1000% be your bestie, i mean, we're already there atp like you said. dm me whenever you want ok ok ok

i'm happy to be a bts ff dealer for you if you're ever in the mood for it 🙏🏽 I'm honestly on tumblr for the vibes and friends atp so nice people like you are why i stay 🥹 i hope you're doing well !!! you're so nice

ALSO yes i stalked your blog and 👀 sleep token 👀 tbh idk anything about them but i know some of their songs and i am very into it

#moonchild-in-blue #jai asks #happy things ✨#tfm

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kittyrob0t · 1 year

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I will type this while im still feeling pretentious

in a good way, don't get me wrong. Lately, I've been feeling an overwhelming need to learn new languages, read books again, shift the music I listen to, and simplify the clothes I wear. Albeit, this might be temporary for now, I am clinging on to this momentary idealization of a want for this lifestyle. I know at my age, it will be difficult to learn a new language, and hopeless considering it might be a barren skill to have if I'm never even going to leave the country sooner or at all. But alas, my brain has decided to do something, and I must follow. This is more and more showing up as a stage of mania and ADHD, which I will ignore, and proceed with. In the past I've always wanted to learn new things, and have always failed because I use life as an excuse to forget or even tire of doing such things. I've also always wanted to have a simpler wardrobe with better pieces but have failed as well because I always put front that I am a victim of capitalism and am not privileged enough to afford slow fashion. Hence my repetition of clothes despite having a ton of them. I no longer enjoy making coffee, I make it, but finish it in less than 10 minutes without actually savoring it. Even the process itself. Which I know sounds ludicrous but I just miss romanticizing the small bits of life as I have been eternally depressed to do so.

I started the last three months with a labor some skincare routine, I now can't seem to be bothered. And I have been in an eternal melancholy for weeks that honestly feel like months. And maybe it has been months, I don't really remember. I haven't really had a fair grasp on time since five years ago. I also have this idea of reading these blog entries in videos I want to create, but it might be too much and overwhelming, and as I'm typing this, maybe its better to keep two separate mediums for now. Especially since I haven't even started video taping anything. It's also funny how I've never talked about filming anything in the first paragraph and now I'm blabbering on about it.

As for my quietness, I am in a pit to be honest. I am currently going in no sure direction with my career and now that I have finally stepped up, am coming to a long stop, I think most probably I am. Sometimes I get sputters of ideas that maybe I should do more work on my portfolio, but I can never find the time to do it, because I always think I'm better off doing something better at that moment. And then it all gets faded out, until a desperate happening comes into my life and I think about it again, and the cycle continues. I currently am working three jobs, one full time, two part time ones that feel like the other one is in disguise. It's a lot more needy than I am, and the fact that I'm depressed doesn't help. I am also currently processing training sessions for a voice acting gig that will last for 6 months and can probably pay for 3 years of rent, for a French web company about to launch audio smut. My desperation for money has definitely made me tolerate some red flags my employer has been showing, especially the time I asked for a contract and he sent me a two-sentence PDF with two underlines for signatures, five minutes later.

Someone has also been 'managing' me, in music, and have been singing as a back up for an indie rapper that seemingly only has intense rhythmic pop in his discography. Most of our shows either has my mic set to the lowest volume; either that, or my voice is incredibly low and quiet, and in decibels the naked ear can't hear, If that's even a phrase. But even then, I still value the 500-1000 peso bills I receive after (under) performing. I seem to think I get better with each performance, but whenever I get off, I always hear the feedback that I seem to have not existed there at all. And to be honest, I don't know what to feel. But I don't feel sad at all. There's certainly a humor to it. Feels like being a ghost employee in a band, paid to be silent.

I've also some to admit that I'm terribly disappointed with how my life is going, but often forget that I am, because of the little tiny happy moments that happen in between, that when I do remember, I feel a little worse that I don't know how to tell people how miserable I am because I feel that the time has passed.

I am currently determined on being alone, as I am weighing if I truly enjoy it because I get to so many things I plan on doing, or maybe I'm just genuinely busy; or that I am just glutted with the presence of other people, and have tremendously low energy to associate myself with. Which by the way, worries me that I may seem like a bitch.

#entry #update #how are you #writer's entry #personal

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miserabellemortem · 1 year

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Original writings:

Below is a list of personal project’s i'm working on, but i'm not certain if anyone would be interested in reading. My writing skills are subpar and I would like feed back to better expand my skills. My asks, comments, direct messages and such, are open for criticism and feedback on my personal projects.

If one happens to gain more attention than the others I will create a specific blog for it to make everything more organized and easier, for those interested. Until then everything will be concentrated to this one blog, there will be no reblogs as I have something separate for that(or will post it private.) The list I have made is the title and mini-description of each project and what media I plan to execute them in.

❧ Enjoy! ❧

『••✎••』

EDIT/Update! (5/22)

I'm adding another Fantasy story idea which still has a filler title.

One of the already existing stories I have has had its first post on Webtoons. "Last Responders" By MiserabelleMortem. If you would like to check it out!

"Completion Of Darkness"

A written novel about a young woman, plagued by insomnia inducing nightmares who travels towards an unfulfilled destiny. There she meets creatures of the night and dark forces in which she has to team up with to battle for the sake of life as she knows it. Sacrificing everything, down to her own soul for even a chance of winning. Themes: Supernatural, Fantasy, Vampires/Demons, witchcraft, violence, abuse, religious trauma, cults, dark academia, victorian era, early 2000s, romance, possible enemies to lovers?

Blog Tags: #C.O.D. #completion of darkness #C.O.D. Novel

"The Knight Drivers"

A series of webcomics depicting a dystopian future controlled by evil mega-corps, with a synth/retro-wave aesthetic. The story follows several adults in their early 20's and their mentor on how to take down the main antagonists.

Themes: cars, motorcycles, androids, underdog, violence, sex, drug abuse, manipulated masses, evil corporations, tragic backstories,.

Blog Tags: #The Knight Drivers #Knight Drivers #Knight Driver webcomic

"Last Responders"

A mini-slice of life-webcomic series following what it's like to work in a funeral home. Will expand on personal experiences, business etiquette, how different cultures deal with death, and overall informative subjects. Themes: Mentions of death, mourning, embalming, cremation, post-mortem rights, do's and don'ts, office setting, religion, cultures.

Blog Tags: #Last Responders #Last Responders webcomic #Funeral Home Admin

"This journal belongs to:..."

A written thriller/mystery novel about a young woman, ages 18-21y/o who is surviving the apocalypse alone. Until she meets a fellow survivor group when revisiting her abandoned home town. Deeming herself a 'Harbinger of death' she tries to leave before being noticed. But it is too late as the group sees her and tries to get to know our mysterious protagonist in efforts to rebuild a society/community. Will they be so accepting when one survivor goes through her personal journal discovering a damning secret.

Themes: Post apocalypse, survivor group, 1st person, 3rd person, journal entries/style, violence, death, zombie, horror, collapse of society, lone wolf archetype, character/relationship dynamics, seven deadly sins.

Blog Tags: #This journal belongs to:... #samantha's journal

"SHION"

A 80's anime, comic series following a high schooler who gets blessed with the powers of her past life as a Shinto-priestess. After the 1000+ year old seals have finally started to wear away. The girl must embark on an adventure to capture all the evil spirits and demons her past life battled. When not dealing with evil demons she tries to balance her day life, and keep up a normal appearances with her school, Best friend, and Uncle who adopted her. Then thinking when things couldn't get more complicated a legendary Kitsune starts hanging about with mischievous intentions, and a gift? Themes: Anime, 80's Japan, Japanese history, Shinto, religion, demons, supernatural.

Blog Tags: #SHION #shion webcomic

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Edit - Adding New Story!

╰──────────────────┄ °❀

Filler Title: "Mermaid Story"

Follow the journey of three tweens into becoming teens and the struggles they'll face. As they discover new things about themselves and the world around them. Some dangers lurks close in shallow waters. Especially when befriending a runaway Mermaid royal. As her father splits seas to find her, she finds herself with the help of Amphitrite, Muriel, and Earwine.

New friends are made, old friendships are strengthened, and some are laid to rest.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Again these are all works in progress and maybe i'll post some draft/chapters of these soon. Definitely character art, but as for now this is all i'll be sharing till a later date.

❧ Thank You! ❧

❀° ┄───────────────────╮

Edit - Adding New Story!

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#original writing #original work #original comic #personal #personal project #personal projects #artists on tumblr #writers on tumblr #creative writing #webcomic #fantasy novel #novel idea #webcomic idea #fantasy comic #feedback #help with writing #asking for advice #asking for help

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the---hermit · 3 years

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Hello there! Since for some reason there is now over 1000 of you following this sideblog, and many weren't around when I first posted an introduction, I decided to create a new one. Plus in less then a month this blog will turn 1 year old! So, I guess this is a good moment to do this.

about me

my name is Cris, I'm 22, I'm bi, and I use she/her pronouns out of habit, but honestly I couldn't care less

I'm from Italy

I study history in university, and I am currently at the end of my third year (it should tecnically be my last year, but I still have a few exams left, plus my final thesis, so I will be graduating a bit later)

I have studied languages in high school so I also speak English (duh) and a bit of French (I have forgotten the majority of things I had learned in my German class, but I'd like to pick it up again)

I'm a pagan witch, I love gardening and nature in general, and one of my biggest hobbies is to dry my own herbs to mix them into herbal teas

other hobbies include reading, drawing, writing, cooking and going on walks in the woods

about the blog

this is actually a side blog! My main blog is @cri080799 it's an old mess of random reblogs.

I also have a witchy sideblog called @the-hermit-witch

I created this studyblr/bookblr/whatever last year, to help me stay motivated, and it has worked very well so far. I like to think of this blog as a journal more than everything

I mainly post about what I am studying and reading

on the topic of books I am also pretty active on Goodreads (there I post book reviews both in English and Italian depending on the language of the book I read)

I met some amazing friends thanks to this blog, and hopefully I will meet more!

goals

at the moment my main goal is the keep my motivation up as much as I can. In the past year it hasn't been the best, so I am working on that

finishing all the damn exams I still have to do

write my final thesis

hopefully graduate as soon as I can cause I really want to be done with all the stress

useful tags in the blog

#the---hermit : the tag for all my own posts

#cris speaks : mainly me ranting about stuff

#reblog : pretty self explainatory, everything I reblog from other people

#self reblog : no idea why I am mentioning this but sometimes I reblog some of my old posts and tag them this way

#tips : this is possibly the most useful tag, everything of my own or that I reblog that has study tips, or organization tips and so on

#quotes : again pretty self explainatory

#note to self : stuff I reblog that is maily positive things I should remind myself more often

#book review / #book recomendation : again pretty clear, usually it's me ranting about books I read, with no spoilers

#ask / #answered : usually how I tag the answer from my inbox (btw it's always open, so come and say hi if you want)

#random history fact : I only have a few out at the moment but there's so many little facts that are worth sharing, so keep an eye out cause there's going to be way more in the future

a few amazing studyblr of friends / mutuals I've made in this past year :

@peregrination-studies, @contre-qui , @justanotherstudyblrinthecrowd , @sage-studies .

a few studyblr that inspired me to start this sideblog :

@myhoneststudyblr,@rylie-studies , @serendistudy, @starrystvdy and @gaaandaaaalf.

I am surely forgetting about someone or about something, and for this I apologize. As I have said my inbox is always open so come say hi, I am now going to end this post or else I'll just randomly keep ranting about useless stuff.

#i am so sure i am forgetting to mention something #ANYWAY here it is new intro post #studyblr #studyinspo #introduction post #new introduction post #studyblr introduction post #bookblr #blog introduction #blog intro #mine #cris speaks #the---hermit

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kenganparadise · 3 years

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Hi! first I wanted to say that I love your blog, I am very happy to see that there is content for this anime. Did I want to request some headcanons? Like, dating Raian. If you don't do headcanons, maybe a drabble of him introducing his s/o to his family.

I decided to write Raian’s S/O meeting his family for the first time!! I was feeling a little fluffy today! I hope you enjoy!! ❤️

Raian was actually in a very sour mood. He peeked behind the corner to see you checking yourself in the mirror again. You made sure all the wrinkles were out of your clothes and all the pieces of lint and pet hair were cleared away. You check your hair again. Fluffing it and trying to fix it. “UGHhhh. I already told you 1000 times- you look fuckin’ HOT.” Raian yelled from the other room. You paused in surprise then sighed. “I don’t want to look hot. I want to look respectable and.... honorable.” You say. You look down at your feet. There was a pit in your stomach. You were very nervous. But Nervous wasn’t a good word to describe how you were feeling. You and Raian have been dating for a long time. He’s met all your family and friends. You have yet to meet his. You had heard rumors and the legends of the Kure clan. A tight knit family of assassin, literally bred to kill. You just so happened to be dating the most powerful one. You heard of their selective breeding. You wondered if they’ll deem you good enough. You wondered if you’re good enough yourself. Raian noticed your mood dampen. You look smaller. He clicks his tongue. You sigh deeply as the thoughts swim in your head. What if they didn’t like you? You jumped feeling strong arms wrap around your waist. Raian’s forehead was in the crook of your neck and shoulder. Your heart leaped at the affection. This.... was very very very rare. Raian barely ever reciprocated your affection, let anyone be the first to act. Your breath catches in your throat. You know he’ll never say the words out loud, but this was enough comfort. Raian sunk his teeth lightly into your skin. It didn’t hurt, but it was enough to leave a small mark. He pulled away from you then. Maybe he was feeling sheepish. “Come on! We don’t want to keep those fuckers waiting.” He snarls over his shoulder. You miss the feeling of his warm arms around you, but it was enough to leave a smile on your face. You followed behind him.

The journey to Kure village was mostly silent, apart from Raian complaining a little here and there. Stepping into the village was nerve wracking. So many people with black scleras, you knew the majority were assassin. Some of them gave glances to Raian. He seemed bored- almost like he didn’t want to be here. “Raian?” You look at him. “What?” He replies not even looking your way. “Can I hold your hand?” You ask in your sweetest voice. “Fuck no.” His reply was a little quicker than you’d like it to be. “Come on Please.” You bat your eyelashes. “Fuck. No.” “Pleaseeee Raian.” You beg sweetly again. He growls under his breath. “Fuck no. I don’t want the fuckers thinking I’ve gone soft to something.” His nose curls at the thought “I’ll make it up to you later~” you purr. His ears perk up a little. His lips twitch into a Frown. “Fuck. Only for a little bit.” He agrees begrudgingly. He takes your hand roughly into his. You’ve got a goofy grin on your face and Raian is feeling completely and utterly embarrassed and slightly humiliated. Unbeknownst to you.... deep down in Raian’s heart he feels warmth. If eyes weren’t on you already they definitely were now. It made you even more nervous. Everywhere you looked black eyes were stuck on you, People whispered amongst themselves. You’re anxious now. You tried to catch whispers and the mutterings but you weren’t able to. “Hey! Bro!!” You heard from behind you. You spin around to see a young woman running towards you. “I heard you arrived! I’ve been looking all over for you!” She chuckles and catches her breath. She’s a petite you’ll girl with short black hair. she looks straight at you. “You! You must be Y/N!” Her face beams. “Oh! Yes-“ you’re cut off by the woman bear hugging you. You gasp and awkwardly return the hug. She takes your hands in hers. “You have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to meeting you!” She says with a smile. “I’m Fusui! I’m Raian’s sister!” She beams. You knew Raian had a sister, he’s talked (complained) about her before. Now here she was standing before you. “I’ll walk with you guys to Erioh!” She says with a smile. You intertwine your fingers with his again. Raian clicks his tongue. Fusui had a gleam in her eyes watching the two of you. Fusui struck up a conversation with you while you walked. She was kind, and genuinely excited to be talking to you. The three of you walked past a building. There more people called for your attention. You looked to see three strong looking men. They introduced themselves politely, Hollis, reiichi, and Horio. You noticed there was a stark difference between Raian and the other Kure members. They were polite and quite kind to you. Most of them were actually excited to meet you. After a brief conversation with the three men you decided to make your way to the main building. Erioh was there- the head of the Kure clan. You were the most nervous to meet him.

Heading into the palace-like building your heart started skipping beats. Raian and Fusui lead you through the building to the room where the head of the Kure was. He was sitting at a table alone with tea. He looked up at you from his teacup. “Hello, you must be Y/N.” He spoke calmly, with a small kind smile. You nodded. “It’s very night to meet you.” You reply. Erioh motions you to sit next to him. You and Fusui join him at the table. Raian goes and sits on the far side of the room, away from the conversation. Erioh pours a cup of tea for you and Fusui. “What do you do for work, Y/N?” He begins. He asks you question after question, about your family, hobbies, even your political beliefs. You can’t help but feel as though you’re being interrogated, the only thing that helped was Fusui lightening the mood with her quips. You were nervous, but answered truthfully. You hoped your answers would suffice. You heard the door open behind you. “Hi grandpa!” A young girl walked in. “Oh hello Karla my dear!” He says. His mood significantly changes. She sits down at an empty space next to you. “Karla this is Y/N, they are Raian’s mate... his remarkably better half!” Fusui jokes. Karla’s attention turns to you. “Oh wow! So when are you guys getting married!!” She says beaming. You nearly choke. Raian does as well behind you. “How many babies are you gonna make?” She radiates with wonder. “Now now Karla, those may not be questions Y/N wants to give to a stranger.” Erioh chuckles. You laugh awkwardly, not knowing what to say. You downed the rest of your teacup. Then you felt a presence behind you. “I’m tired as fuck of this. We’re going home.” Raian said gruffly. Fusui sighed and stood with you. “It was very nice meeting you, Y/N. I hope to see you again soon.” Erioh says with a tender smile. “Bye bye Y/N!” Karla says waving. Fusui walks out with you but Raian hesitates a moment. He knew Erioh had something to say. “You’ve found a good one... don’t lose them.” Erioh says as Raian huffs and walks away. “Shut the fuck up gramps.” Raian growls, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Fusui walks with you out of Kure village. The two of you laugh together, you’ve felt a bond grow between you two. You end up exchanging numbers. You hugged her again goodbye, promising to call. Then you and Raian left. The journey back was once again quiet. But you felt an overwhelming feeling of relief. Raian’s family had welcomed you. They too, we’re finally relieved to meet the only person who was able to tame the devil himself. Your name will go down in Kure history.

#kure raian

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cadenzaaa · 2 years

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Quick post-covid special notes (haven’t done one of these in years). I’m assuming I don’t need to tag this because 1.) I’m 1000 years late and 2.) This hasn’t been a SP blog in ages, and I don’t think I have many invested SP fans still following (but also hi, any sp mutuals who may see this). I managed to go into this mostly unspoiled, and I’m proud of myself.

- Creek was one of the first ships I ever shipped at like, age 10, so I’ll never forget them tbh. I’m sooo happy they seemed to have made it on both timelines. FUck Cartman for giving Tweek a panic attack though.

- This may be colored by how rusty I am on my South Park canon, but I love how M & T managed to weave past covid specials into this one. Additionally, I love that on top of the careful arrangement of plot points, the originality etc, they still bring it back to the familiar, simple, hilarious story line of Cartman plotting to kill Kyle.

- Butters was great. I had my predictions of what he would be like, but they managed to exceed my expectations in a way that totally sent me. It might be because I’ve been involved in fan communities who wholeheartedly HATE NFTs, but the jokes landed perfectly for me, it’s such a Butters thing. I wasn’t expecting NFT jokes, but this was a perfect use of them,

- We saw Ike!! Also loved the brief parts for Kevin Stoley.

- Cartman’s future really was contingent on Stan and Kyle’s friendship surviving. Cartman really had a change of heart and gave up his future, leaving it to fate, growing from the usual “Cartman wants to kill Kyle” trope. And they were all happy but him in the end. This is a lot for me to process tbh. I don’t like Cartman, but there was character development here, I think.

- Loved the therapy perspective in Stan’s final speech - “We can’t control covid, but we can control how we respond to it.” I’m paraphrasing here, but this is such good advice. It may seem obvious, but we often get caught up trying to change things beyond our control.

- Clyde cracks me up. I’m kinda sad about him, but also how did he not gaf about Tweek and Craig? Wtf, Clyde? This also somehow makes 100% sense to me.

- Stan is a better person than me for apology to Randy.

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matan4il · 3 years

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I'm a little nervous about Monday. Why is every single cast member using the word "unexpected" to describe the episode? The only unexpected thing would be for Eddie to choose Ana and for Buck and Taylor to move past their budding friendship to romantic partners. Or perhaps, temporarily, Eddie takes an indeterminate sabbatical to figure out if he still wants to be a firefighter.

(Side note, I hope Maddie gets help. My sister went through bad ppd and I had to go over every day to check on her and the baby for a while.)

Hi lovely! great question about what do they mean with 'unexpected' and one I kept asking myself at the start of the season, when we had Buck's mystery calls with a woman. I had assumed the 'crush' talk was a red herring and that the woman would turn out to be Buck's therapist. The main thing that was giving me pause was Tim saying something along the lines of this woman not being who we think she is. I wondered who does he assume we think she is? 'Coz if he figured we'd guess she's a therapist, then she's not. But if he's speaking to a more casual general audience, then he's assuming "we" (without distinguishing fandom from other viewers) accept the in-show teasing about a crush for a fact... Turns out, the latter is what he was doing. So I'm assuming the same applies now, when they're saying "unexpected" they probably mean, "unexpected for the general audience". If the show goes in the direction you described, it really wouldn't be unexpected at all. But the show could still catch us ALL by surprise. We'll know soon enough and I can't wait!

(and lots of hugs to you and to your sister. My mom probably had undiagnosed PPD when she had me, so know that I feel you more than I can express and I am sending TONS of love! xoxox)

Hey ! I just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE your blog and I always look forward to read your metas after each episode! And I do have a question: so next episode is gonna be intense ! And I was wondering do think we’ll get something buddie-wise like Realisation of feelings or Buddie moving in together ? Because the events have been piling up for a possible Buddie SetUp right ? Oliver live tweeting the finale even though he said himself that everything he says is taken the wrong way and him saying that this episode is gonna change things for s5... ? And do you think that Buddie will ever become canon or are the writers just messing with us? (Sorry for the long ask)

Hi Nonnie, and thank you so much for the kindness! I'm so happy you're enjoying my meta! As for 414, I'm never 1000% sure about anything a show will do. Because shows can disappoint, because there can be elements behind the scenes, unknown to us, influencing storyline decisions... But in terms of narrative, I can't see having both the 'follow your heart' talk and the intense Buddie shooting scene (because it IS a Buddie one. Eddie is shot, but the scene is just as much about Buck's reaction and their connection during this) in the very same ep and then not letting this lead to some sort of Buddie feelings realization. The show can still disappoint and not follow up on its own build up, I'm just not sure how they can take it in any other direction. Mind you, I remember when quite a few fans were hyped after the kitchen scene and were sure Buddie will kiss in the next scene, but I didn't think they would at the time. This feels different. The narrative is begging for this resolution and they made it the intense cliffhanger for the first half of the season finale. Everything they've done this season is pooling into this scene in 413 and the follow up in 414. It's all lined up just right for this development. Add the stuff you mentioned from outside the show, and yes, it feels like it really can happen now. It's not a guarantee that it will, but this is the first time I've felt like the moment in canon is right, when before it all still felt like a part of the subtext that the show may or may not deliver on. Does that make sense? Thank you so much for the ask and let's do a prayer circle together for the show to come through! xoxox

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scardnbroken · 3 years

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// Hello to all my followers. On this blog and on my other blogs as I will be reposting this to my other blogs to keep followers updated on things.

Firstly this will be long so let me cut it here and add a quick sum behind it before going full on vent mode.

In short: I have been struggling with work and today finally hit hard and my depression has hit an all new low once more so I am making this one of my final posts and I’m debating on making just one simple main blog thats all about art and what not..idk just yet.

Ok now for the vent part.

I have hit an all new low and I did see this coming but I was trying my best to manage things and prevent it from getting to this point but unfortunately other people who had to power to prevent it have done nothing but sit by and watch the train wreck or literally enable it.

So here it goes.

Starting off with things from the start. I realized last night that I no longer have any form of emotions of affection. At least not towards men. I spent time with a friend who was probably my biggest regret and he had everything that I normally would find amazing and great and be the one oogling over them but instead I found I had no attraction, no interest what so ever. I felt a little bad for him because he seemed to want to develop a relationship but I had to be honest with him and told him it was just good to be friends and chat and catch up from time to time.

Thats where I think most of this has kind of started because I realized last night that I probably don’t have a soul mate or anyone and if I did that my experience from past relationships has left such a bad taste in my mouth that I nolonger feel anything anymore.

Then there is the situation at work which I have been nothing but professional about and instead of venting I have tried to follow the proper protocols but I’ll put it this way. One girl has started her own little gang group, and yes they are like a gang, that have done nothing but bully my sister and myself. It got to the point that it started to affect my anxiety and depression and when I went to management I found that they were not interested in listening or helping me but rather happy to enable the ones that so obviously enjoy gaslighting everyone they can.

Today though hit hard. There was a work meeting and in short everyone was told our hours would be getting cut back. I’ve already been given a drafted idea of what my next rostered shifts will be and I will literally be earning less then $1000, thats not enough to live off when we are talking about a fortnightly payment.

Things have just gotten so ridiculous there that I’ve spent hours today just pumping out resume and cover letters to any and all places just so I can make a god damn living.

Usually tumblr has been my comfort place but today when I logged on I realized thats not the case anymore. Theres no activity, theres no one interacting with me to make me feel like I should even bother coming back to roleplaying on here and not just that but...I just feel like tumblr is dead. I dont find myself looking at cute puppy dog pictures and smiling. I just look and see how dead all my blogs have gotten and I guess thats just triggered my depression a little more.

So I made the choice to write this to everyone. This month and last month I discovered myself more then I ever have in a whole entire year and I’m sure there are still things to discover but currently with how I am feeling and how things are looking for my so called ‘bright future’, I’ve realized there is no point in beating a dead horse.

Hence this post. I wanted to let whoever is still here, following these blogs still, that I am going to just disappear for as long as I possibly can. I’ve gotten more into cosplay and I’m enjoying making tiktoks a lot these days but I kind of wish I could still do something fun on tumblr but I know there is no point in that.

This post is also at its peak and its end now.

Thank you to everyone who has been there for me. I wish I could be there for everyone as well but this is the end of the road for me guys. Sorry if I have let anyone down, if I have hurt people or caused drama where not needed. My time on tumblr has ended up rough but I think its time that my journey on here comes to an end. No not life wise. I’ll still be kicking butt and taking name, I just won’t be on tumblr anymore.

At least I don’t think so. There is a chance I may make just one main blog there revolves around the things I love and I’ll probably just reblog stuff or idk something. But I have yet to come to that choice. Currently anyway.

But just thank you for those that did stick around and for the friends I have made and for the bridges I have rebuilt with some amazing people I had hurt in the past.

#ooc:stitches

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adoreinbloom · 3 years

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thank you @quickpauseinconversations and @lavenderhrry, @laurelier and @harrysputa for tagging me <3 finally found time to this!!

🌼 what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

just cerys - i think the only people that ever nickname me is my family 😭

🌼 when is your birthday?

13th january (yes i did used to tell people my birthday was the day after zayn’s as part of the ‘tell us a fun fact about yourself’ activity when I was younger)

🌼 where do you live?

england

🌼 three things you’re doing right now?

sorting my vinyl out, watching netflix and drinking a cup of tea

🌼 four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

the harry and louis fandoms mainly, and the overall one direction fandom? (but in terms of blogs, I still follow some blogs for the uswnt because I got obsessed with them when the women’s world cup was on)

🌼 how is the pandemic treating you?

good in the sense that I’ve worked all the way through it, and ive been in a lucky position where ive not been furloughed and still have my job. just a bit shitty that ive been working from home for the past 18 months, and there seems to be no end in sight for ever going back into the workplace properly. it’s not been good on my mental health in the slightest if i’m honest.

🌼 song you can’t stop listening to right now?

good wife - kacey musgraves (listen to her new album it’s absolutely incredible)

🌼 recommend a movie

I don’t really watch a lot of films but I would always recommend ella enchanted because it’s like not the best but i absolutely love it. also any high school musical because it’s a classic.

🌼 how old are you?

🌼 school, university, occupation, other?

i have a full-time job

🌼 do you prefer hot or cold?

1000% cold. give me blistering cold winds and snow and rain over summer anyday

🌼 name one fact others may not know about you.

I dislocated my thumb during PE when I was 10 and now i’ve got a double jointed left thumb (which when I was younger i thought was a very cool talent!)

🌼 are you shy?

i think my anxiety makes me shy around a lot of people. like if i’m in my group of friends, i’m loud and i’m comfortable, but the minute someone else joins in that i’m not 1000% comfortable with, i just barely speak because I overthink what i’m going to say.

🌼 do you have any preferred pronouns?

she/her

🌼 any pet peeves?

people who don’t pick up their feet when they walk, or those who are really too placid about making plans. I can’t be dealing with ‘oh we’ll see where it goes’ like no tell me where I need to be on what day and what time, that’s all I need to know.

🌼 what’s your favourite “dere” type?

I have no clue what this means so none????

🌼 rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

maybe a 6?

🌼 what’s your main blog?

this is my only one

🌼 list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

i don’t have any, I applaud anyone that can keep up with side blogs because I can barely even hack one.

🌼 is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

I’m either super quick at replying (within minutes) or it’s hours before I respond. there’s no inbetween

i’m so sorry i’ve had this in my drafts forever! (also apologies if I’ve tagged you and you’ve already done it)

I tag: @zouisgf @farawaytatmybeloved @tanktop-lou @quickpauseinconversations @canyoncurl @hotharreh and anyone else who wants to do it!!

#tagged #tag game

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hiswhiteknight · 3 years

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Best Friends Turned Foes - Part 8

Summary: Reader is an up and comer with the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. The Reader’s relationship (lack thereof) with the one and only Bucky Barnes starts to become a problem, especially considering they’re usually moments from killing each other. They used to be best friends, but something in the past broke the bond. Y/N and Barnes bickering is now becoming too much, so Captain and Tony take it upon themselves to fix it by forcing them to work together.

Send me a message if you’d like to be added to the taglist. I’m trying to get better with updating!

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Words: 1000 Warning: Angst, cursing, sexual references, drinking

You walked out with your bag and suitcase, Bucky was leaning on the counter looking at the ground. He looked at his watch, “So it’s been about an hour and a half, can we start this shin dig?”

Sending him a giant smile, “Sure can,” you pass him a piece of paper, “Please go over your inventory and make sure you have everything on this list.”

He looked at the paper, “You actually wrote mullet wig,” looking back up at you, “You weren’t kidding?”

“Bucky, sir, I never joke about mullets. I brought the double d’s you requested. It’s only fair,” he continued to stare at you, not really knowing what to say, “You know what, never mind I packed one for you.”

He took a big sigh, “We can let this vacation begin? Off to the second clue?”

“That would be correct stretch, we are going to exit separately and meet up airport gate 37, which leaves in 2 hours. It’ll be a 6 hour flight, where we’ll get to the second clue with around seven hours to spare before the next group gets to it,” you make your way to your door. He waltzed after you, putting his hand on the door to close behind you, “Please be in disguise and not be late.”

“You got it toots, see you in 30 minutes,” he started to follow after you.

“30 minutes, you have gotten slow in your old age, old man,” you say back at him.

He cocked his head, “Do you think you’ll be beat me there?”

He spun around to stand in front of you. You tap him on his cheek, “Baby, I know I’ll beat you.”

“Want to wager on that,” he smirked down at you. You look skeptic for a second, “Not so confident with stakes involved.”

“You know what, you are on! If I win, you have to get an actual mullet during the trip and go by the name Bo Jed Hayward. Mullets are actually becoming very in,” you point at him.

“Alright, and if I win, you have to go by the name Lucille Mae Lawless, southern belle, damsel in distress at least once during this trip,” he smirked at you.

You both shook hands dramatically, before you pulled Bucky forward knocking him over, “Catch you later Bo Jed.”

It wasn’t difficult to take a few of Tony’s little gadgets for a test run to the airport, you were there with twenty minutes. You were through security and rushing up to the gate to find a seat to wait for Bucky. You had changed on route to be a red head, wearing a pretty basic leggings and crop top sweatshirt. You even put a little tattoo on your lower back and put in a nose ring. You grinned looking around, letting victory surge through you body. Suddenly, you were grabbed and pressed against a pillar, “Took you long enough Lucille, thought I had lost my beautiful girlfriend in the bustle of the airport.”

“You cheated,” you growled at him. Honestly, you wanted him to have a mullet for part of the revenge of stopping you for so long.

“No babe, I’m just that good,” he played with your hair. You weren’t sure if he was trying to get a raise of you or playing the part of the couple, “I think you should bring out Lucille Mae when we get closer to hotter weather. Can’t waste a treasure disguise like that in the north.” Bucky pulled you forward, holding your hand tightly leading you to your gate for your plane, “Honestly, I’m impressed of fast you got here.”

Taking a deep breath, you acted the part of couple squeezing yourself closer to his body, “Damn your super soldier serum of a body.”

“Oh good, you’ve finally noticed my body,” he was dressed as some type of motorcycle riding, leader jacket wearing kind of punk hipster. It honestly meshed very well with your disguise. He jumped when you pinched his side, causing him to bite back a smile.

“Let’s just get this over with and get to the dome where we can go full killer mode,” you grumble.

He shook his head, passing the gate attendant your first class tickets, “And here you were so excited for the vacation and smoothness of the beginning of the challenge.”

Bucky passed you a glass of champagne, “we’ve got a few hours before we land, sounds like we’ve got time to relax and enjoy first class.”

You took the glass from him, “I didn’t think you’d be this easy with letting go and enjoying a relaxing trip around the world.”

He shrugged, “It’s been awhile since I’ve had a vacation, so worse case we lose, than at least we got a little paid vacation.”

“We are not going to lose,” you sip your champagne, reopening the book you were reading ‘the art of satisfying men’.

Bucky starred at the book before shaking his head and looked around. A guy across the aisle gave him a knowing look with a thumbs up. Bucky nodded his head and looked back at you. He knew exactly what you were doing, which was trying to get a raise out of him. He wasn’t going to question or challenge it, but he was going to play the part. He drank his beer, while putting his hand on your leg. When you pulled your book away to look at him, he just reclined his chair with a smirk on his face, “Playing the part babe, couples’ vacation. You never know when someone might be looking for us.”

You placed your champagne glass down, slightly closing your book, “Sparky,” you grin, leaning forward to whisper in his ear, “Push my limits and I’ll break a limb. I won’t say which one, but it will be a painful surprise.”

He turned to face you, so your faces were inches, using his spare hand to trace your jawline, “Keep reading Princess, I expect notes and visuals on the art of satisfying a man.” He leaned back smirking, closing his eyes to act like he is sleeping, but keeping a firm grip on your upper thigh. He particularly enjoyed the low growl you let out before you chugged your champagne.

PART 9

TAG LIST: @mia-at-work @loki-bxrnes @salty-buchanan @cutiepiemimi13 @three17am @stevieboyharrington @of-outerspace @boyzines @gravedollie666 @a–1–1–3 @sonarsyndor @preppy-by-the-c @kitkatkl @yafriendlyfangirl @salty-buchanan-blog @a-classic-eye @drakelover78 @sleepyjaks

#marvel fanfiction #marvel fiction #marvel imagine #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine

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thefallennightmare · 4 years

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Soldat [10/10]

Bucky Barnes x reader. Slight Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: The ending is here. What does that mean for Y/N and Soldat? Are her and Steve over just as soon as they started?

A/N: ITS HERE! THE ENDING IS FINALLY HERE! I’m so sorry this took forever but I hope I’ve made the wait worth it. I’ve written countless stories over the years and this is the first one I’ve actually finished. I’m proud of this series! The first chapter of the sequel will be out either later today or tomorrow. Let me know if you would like to be tagged! Thank you to everyone who’s read, liked, or re-blogged. I’m always down for comments as well <3.

ENJOY! :)

Silence.

An eerie, comfortable, silence filled the air as Soldat and I walked through the tall grass, crickets chirping as the night sky settled around us. We had been walking for quite awhile, opting out of borrowing a car to get to our location because we didn’t want to bring any eyes towards us. The location we were going was a tad far from where headquarters used to be, about a ten mile walk, but Soldat was fine with it.

While the quiet was nice, it was also troubling because I had no clue what he was thinking. If he wanted to stay and if so, for how long. I promised that I would help him with his wounds and said that he could leave once he recovered. It was the last thing I said to him, almost an hour ago.

My thoughts kept swirling with the thought of Steve. We made the promise of finally starting our relationship but I had chosen to walk away from him, realizing that Soldat needed me more than Steve did. The love and adoration I had for Soldat was that much stronger than my feelings for Steve.

“How much farther?”

Jumping slightly at the deepness of his voice, I looked over to Soldat while nodding to his right.

“See the house in the distance?”

He nodded before looking back at me. “Shield safe house?”

“Nope. It’s actually my parents cabin. No one knows about it, they’ve kept it off the grid,” I informed him as the log cabin now stood only a few feet away from us.

The grass had grown a few inches since the last time I was here and could see the cobwebs clouding the front door. The moonlight from above glided over the lake as Soldat and I walked towards the back of the cabin where I knew the spare key was hidden.

We remained silent as I felt his eyes on my back while I unlocked the door. I allowed him to go in first but he hesitated.

“It’s okay, Soldat. I’m not going to hurt you.” I assured him.

It took a few more moments before he finally decided to head inside, me shutting and triple locking the door behind us.

“Sorry for all the dust, it’s been awhile since anyone has been here.” I admitted after turning on the lights.

It wasn’t a big cabin by any means; less than 1000 square feet. The kitchen was to the left which shared the same room as the living room and the queen sized bed that was in the corner of the house. The only bathroom was down the small hallway across a small closet that held towels and junk.

My eyes watched as Soldat stood in the middle of the room, body rigid with uncomfortable. Licking my lips, I nodded towards his bad shoulder.

“Want me to take a look at that?” I asked. “It may be dislocated.”

Without saying one word, he put his shoulder back in place with a loud ‘pop’. He raised his arm a few times before sitting down at the edge of the bed. I could see it in his posture that he was still uncomfortable. I was unsure if it was from being in an unfamiliar place with me, someone he had yet to remember, or if it was from not knowing what he was going to do with his life. All he had known was Hydra.

“I know you don’t remember me and being here might be scary for you but I’m not going to hurt you.” I reassured him.

He kept his eyes trained to the ground in front of him. “It’s not that.”

“Then why do you look like I’m keeping you hostage here?” I asked while shrugging my shoulders. “You can leave if you want. I’m helping you not because of our past but because I thought you could use a place to lay low for a while.”

“There’s only one bed.” He pointed out.

“Oh,” I muttered. “You can take the bed. I’ve slept on the couch many times so my body’s used to it.”

I could tell he wanted to protest but knew that the thought of sleeping in an actual bed was something he had wanted for a long time. I could see it in the small way his mouth turned up in a smile.

“The bathroom is down the hall, towels are in the closet across from it. Feel free to take as long as you want.” I threw a thumb over my shoulder. “I’m going to do a quick sweep of the area to make sure no one followed us.”

“I should do it,” he stood from the bed.

I held up my hand to stop him. “Soldat, it’s alright. You can relax, you don’t have to be the soldier anymore.”

His face twitched when I called him Soldat and I knew that calling him that was starting to bother him. It was the only name I had known for him and didn’t know how comfortable he felt being called by his true name. The tension in the air became uncomfortable so I sighed before turning around to make my way outside.

“I’ll be back.”

After a quick ten minute sweep and deciding that we would be safe for tonight, I made my way back inside but felt my feet being glued right in the entryway. Soldat stood in the middle of the room, towel clung to his hip and water dripping down his exposed chest from his soaked hair. Biting my lip, I resisted the urge to think back to the memories of us and cleared my throat.

“Everything alright?”

He turned towards me, no hint of embarrassment on his face, and let out a small sigh. “I don’t have any extra clothes.”

A small smile spread to my lips. Without saying a word, I walked towards the hall closet and pulled out some clothes that my brother had left here.

I went to hand them to him but noticed when I had gotten too close, his shoulders went rigid and body tensed. Realizing he was still uncomfortable, I gently placed the clothes on the bed.

“I’m going to get cleaned up, help yourself to any food or drinks.” I went to turn on my heels but stopped, looking back at him. “You may not remember me but you said it yourself, you remember the feelings we had for each other. I’m not going to hurt you or let whatever is left of Shield capture you. With me, you are safe.”

The tense features in his face softened and he slowly nodded. “Thank you.”

After I had taken a very long and needed hot shower, I had come out of the bathroom and saw Soldat lying comfortably on the couch and when I went to protest, saying he deserved the bed more than me, he shot me down with a quick ‘I’m used to sleeping on hard surfaces.’

We both laid in the silent darkness, him on the couch and I on the bed, and I tried to bite my tongue at the thought that was plaguing my mind. He had a long and exhausting day, he needed his rest so I wasn’t going to bother asking him.

Soldat continued to lay there after I had drifted off to sleep, wanting to make sure my heartbeat had slowed letting him know that I was in deep sleep before he allowed himself to close his eyes. This being the first night of sleep he had in a very long time.

“Can we do something today?”

Looking up from my book, I looked over to Soldat who was sitting at the kitchen table picking away at his breakfast. It had been a couple of days of us being held up in the cabin. We hadn’t spoken much or done anything more than sitting around reading or sitting outside enjoying the view of the lake.

I was using a spare phone that we kept at the cabin to keep tabs online if there was any word if anyone was looking for us and came up empty. I had to ignore the want to contact members of my team, Steve especially, because I had found out that he was in the hospital recovering from the fight with Soldat.

“Yeah, of course. What did you have in mind?” I agreed while shutting my book and placed it on the bed next to me.

“I read that there’s an exhibit at the Smithsonian about Captain America.” He spoke so quietly that I had to strain my ears to hear.

“There is,” I nodded. “ They also have a section about his best friend, Bucky Barnes.” I said that name with such softness, not wanting to trigger him.

He nodded. “Would you come with me?”

My face broke out in a small smile, heart warming my body at the realization that he wanted me there with him. He wanted to find out more from his past, hoping that it would trigger some type of memories.

“Of course.”

“Are you ready?” I questioned while pulling the brim of my hat closer to my eyes.

Soldat stayed silent, only nodding, and with the permission to move forward we both walked into the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian. We had decided to try to hide our identity as much as possible which is why we were both wearing baseball caps.

I stayed back, only a few spaces, allowing him as much time as he needed at every part of the exhibit. He read the information about Steve pre and post serum for a few seconds before he came to a halt in front of the Howling Commandos section.

Of course Steve’s suit was still missing but that’s not what caught Soldat’s eyes; it was the blue jacket on the mannequin that was next to the Captain America one.

“Is this helping at all?” I wondered while nodding towards the jacket.

He remained silent while stuffing his hands deep into his pockets. After a quick shake of his head, he sighed. I could tell that he was starting to feel defeated so ever so slowly, I reached for his gloved metal hand and gently tugged on it.

“This way.”

Not wanting to push the boundaries with him, I dropped his hand and led him towards the one section of the exhibit that we came to see. Standing tall in front of us was a whole wall dedicated to James Buchanan Barnes, Steve’s best friend. My eyes were stuck on his face while he read every single word over and over again. The voice in the background gave us more dialogue to the story.

“Best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield, Barnes is the only howling commando to give his life in service of his country.”

We stood in silence for a few more moments, wanting to give him as much time as he needed, but when he turned to look at me I noticed the broken stare coming from his eyes.

“You okay?” I gently squeezed his flesh hand. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

His mouth was open a tad and he had to blink a few times before he could answer. “I think-I think I need to get away from here; far away.”

Trying to ignore the way my heart shattered and fell into the pit of my stomach, I let out a shaky breath. I knew that he wasn’t going to stay with me and that he needed to find himself but it still hurt to know that he actually was thinking of leaving.

“Okay. I can pull some strings to get you where you want to go,” my voice cracked.

Finally our eyes locked, him trying to avoid them, and he let out a large breath.

“Would you come with me? I know I can’t remember much about you but the love we had for each other, I can still feel that. If it was strong enough to stay with me after all these years, it has to be worth fighting for.”

Giving him a smile, I nodded while some tears came to the surface. “I won’t push you in anyway. We’ll take it slow and at your pace. I’ll be here to help in any way. But there’s something I have to do first.”

Pulling the hood over my eyes, I averted the gazes of multiple members of the staff and visitors as I made my way down the long hallways looking for the one specific room. I came to a halt in front of it and peaked through the open blinds in the window to make sure that he was alone; he was. Shaking the nerves from my hands, I quietly entered the room hoping I wouldn’t wake him.

He was, however, already awake so when he heard me enter the room, his full attention was on me.

“Y/N?” His voice croaked out, clearly still recovering these last few days.

“Hi Steve.” I gave him a smile while letting down my hood. “How’re you feeling?”

“Where the hell have you been? Nat and Sam have been looking everywhere for you?” He sat up in bed, giving me room to sit.

After sitting on the side of the bed, I sighed. “I’m okay. I’ve been in hiding.”

Steve squinted his eyes. “Why? No one is after you.”

I sucked in my bottom lip. “Not me.”

It took him a few seconds to figure out who I was talking about, Steve let out a quiet scoff. His shoulders slumped only slightly, the signs of jealousy clear in the way his jaw tightened. “He’s with you?”

“He needed my help, Steve. I couldn’t leave him.” I defended myself.

“Where’s he now?”

I shifted in my spot on the bed, not wanting to let anyone know where we were hiding; even Steve.

“What about us?”

My heart dropped at his question and how broken he sounded. Steve was willing to give up a lot for us to be together, I knew he would, but as much as I found myself falling for Steve I couldn’t give up the only thing holding us back. Maybe if this happened before everything, before Soldat came back into my life, I would be over the moon to be with Steve. Though this was my decision now. I was leaving with Soldat.

“I’m sorry, Steve. You have to believe that I wanted this for a very long time,” I admitted while pointing between us, “But he needs me, Steve. He wants to find himself again, away from all of this and I have to be the one to help him.”

Steve scoffed. “How are you so sure that he won’t go back to The Winter Soldier?”

I shook my head. “I don’t. But I’m not going to let that stop me from leaving with him.”

“What if he tries to kill you? Again?”

My eyes snapped up from the ground, settling on his. “Wha-what are you talking about?”

“Don’t try to deny it. Everyone’s secrets at Shield and Hydra are out there, on the internet. Including yours.”

I couldn’t stop my knee from bouncing, something that would happen when I was nervous of people finding more out about my past. Steve knew this so he gently placed a hand on it, stopping it immediately.

“I, uh, found him a year after I escaped Hydra; the first time. I was following a lead on a case I was working on; someone was murdered. The ballistics came back with no rifling and was untraceable.”

“Soviet made?” Steve questioned.

I nodded. “I knew it was him and I knew he was still in town. So I went looking for him but came up empty. I was in my motel room when he had broken in through the window. Word got out that I was looking for The Winter Soldier so he came to find me. I didn’t know that they wiped his memory so here I thought it was going to be a romantic reunion.”

“He ended up pinning me against the wall with his metal arm, knocking the wind right out of me. I tried to fight him off but he was too strong for me. He didn’t remember me and that thought clouded my judgment. My love for him nearly got me killed.”

Steve ran his hand up and down my thigh. “How come he didn’t?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I remember him looking into my eyes before everything went black and something inside of him changed. He dropped me to the floor and left. That was the last time I saw him.”

Hastily whipping away the tears, I let out a shaky breath and looked at Steve. “You may not understand why I have to go with him but please believe me when I say I love you, Steve.”

He gave me a quick smile before cupping my cheek. “Just not as much as him.”

“I’m sorry,” I cried while cupping his cheek as well.

He accepted my apology with a soft kiss to my lips. It was those types of kisses where you knew this was the end and you wanted to savor the way it felt and the way it tasted.

“Please don’t come looking for us,” I muttered against his lips.

“No promises,” he muttered back.

Zipping up the last suitcase, I placed it with the rest of them by the front door and mentally made a checklist making sure we had everything. After saying goodbye to Steve, I ran a few more errands to pick up some things that we would need for our new lives.

“Have you thought of where you wanted to go?” I asked Soldat, who was sitting on the front porch.

He looked over his shoulder before nodding. “I don’t remember much of it but I remember having to complete a mission in Bucharest and something about it spoke to me.”

“Romania?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

“That alright?” He was suddenly worried that I would back out of this, not wanting to travel that far.

“Of course.”

Sitting next to him on the front step, I tried to muster up the courage to bring up the talk I was slightly dreading to have because I was worried about how he would react.

“So,” I started, “I’ve only known you as Soldat but I feel with what happened that I shouldn't call you that anymore but I don’t want to start calling you Bucky if you’re not comfortable with it yet.”

He ran his hands over his jeans before taking his hat off, letting his hair cascade around his face. I had to clasp my hands together to stop them from running through his locks.

“Bucky is fine. It may help bring back some memories.”

“Bucky it is.”

We sat in a comfortable silence, letting the time pass before having to leave. I had an old friend that I worked with during my days as an FBI agent that owned a jet. He was willing to fly us anywhere we wanted, no questions asked. A favor he owed me for saving his life.

“Dorogaya.”

My eyes snapped over to Bucky as he muttered that same word over and over again. The same word that I had longed to hear all these years. The one that he breathed against my neck the one and only night we made love.

“What did you say?” I choked out a sob.

Bucky blinked a few times before our gazes locked. “I used to call you that.”

“You did,” an eye crinkling smile broke out on my face.

His flesh hand reached for mine and linked our fingers together while the sweet nickname fell from his lips once more. I wasn’t sure what the future would hold for us two; if what we had in the past would resurface and make this all worth it. But I did know that no matter how hard it would be or how challenging some days might be for not only me but him as well, I would not leave Bucky’s side.

AND FIN!

Tags:

@kat002nd @chubby-dumplin @avengemepercy

#captain america #soldat #the winter soldier #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes x reader #soldat x reader #the winter soldier x reader #avengers

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mimi-ya · 2 years

Note

It's me again, hiii!

I just wanna say that that pic you used to reply to my long ass ask is so cute!!! I love baby Luffy with all my heart, and I'd go to hell and back for him 😭

And I hope you get to cosplay Perona! Her design is one of my favorites in OP 🥺

Now, I've been away for a while and I'm only now seeing some of your posts, so I hope it's still ok to comment on them? Aksjaoshdg

So, Zoro's birthday fic,,, I LOVED IT SO MUCH! THAT WAS SO HOT, I QKJSIAHSHSJSNS fucked out Zoro is 💯 There's something about him being wrecked, and vulnerable, overall, that makes me lose everything 😭 ~ on a side note, I haven't catched up with the manga, yet, so I don't know what's happening currently in Wano, but I REALLY wish Oda would give us some Zoro angst or something like that. I know that is a little sadistic, but I'm CRAVING some vulnerability coming from him 😔

Which leads me to the next topic: mutual hate fucking. I know it's been a while, but I wanna join my fellow Zoro fuckers and intercede for our man 😏

Also, you've been sent to horny jail?! wth 😭 if Tumblr ever dares to come up with this outrage again, it will have to drag us all along with you 😡 ~ we've all been convicted of the same crime, after all 🤧

And your OP art, SO CUTE!!! YOU'RE SUCH A MULTITALENTED QUEEN! I tried drawing baby Robin, once, and... It didn't go well 😅

Now, your birthday celebrations event!!! Mimiii, that's the cutest thing ever 😭 YOU'RE SO SWEET, I CRY. I've submitted mine a few days ago (I've been writing this ask ever since, but I still haven't finished it......... WHY AM I LIKE THIS), even though it won't be my birthday any time soon jwjsjwnbbs actually, chapter 2 of covert identity came out around my birthday, and I was so happy!!! I considered that as a unintentional birthday gift kashusjshsh

On your post about Pudding -- I couldn't agree more! She deserved better, and I hope she can be free, someday. It'd be nice if she, Brûlée and Katakuri rebelled against their mother. Mama is straight up abusive. She always goes on and on about creating a world without discrimination, where "all races" can coexist, but that's all empty discourse. She collects people, and treat them as if they were animals in her own particular zoo. I love her as a character, but I DESPISE her as a person 😂

Finallyyy, I wanna talk about your mutuals tag list!!! Alright, so, when I first opened it, I really wasn't expecting to see myself tagged there. I might have teared up a little........ 😭😭😭 MIMIIIII, that made me so, so happy 😭 I keep coming back to it, and EVERY single time I get, like 🥺😭🥰

Just know that I love and appreciate you just as much! I've been kind of absent from Tumblr, lately, but I love seeing your posts on my dash; they really make my day.

I'm planning on creating a new blog just for OP (maybe?) (my original account is over 10 years old, and I'm having quite an identity crisis. I can't even stand looking at it 🤡). If I follow through that plan (or when I'm finally able to put up with all the bullshit of past me and can go back to using my old blog), I promise I'll let you know whenever it's ready! Until then (and even after that), I'll continue being your sprout, for as long as you allow me 🥺

- 🌱

I'll comment on your most recent works as I read them, as I still haven't had the chance to do that 😭 also, I think it's best if I just end this ask here, as it's gotten LONG long, already, and I just keep adding things as the days go by 😂)

my sprout!🌱

first off: baby strawhats are superior to adult strawhats, but something about baby asl will always have the biggest place in my heart!! SO CUTE! my brother is watching op, and I’ve asked that out of the 1000 episodes he PLEASE let me watch 493 & 494. I LOVE BABY ASL SO MUCH!!

perona is also one of my favs! my roommate and I have a goal of going to some anime con when ever things feel safe again, so I have until then to make my cosplay! Except now I’m OBSESSED with ulti!! the only down side is I don’t think her outfit is as fun as perona 😪 but we’ll see what happens!

I’m glad you enjoyed zoro’s bday fic!! Wrecked zoro is the best zoro 😌 and I have a feeling we’re going to get some zoro stuff in Wano, I’m just not sure if it’ll be angst?? I feel like the only thing that could get to him would be about kuina, so if Oda is somehow able to tie her in? Idk! (And of course luffy and the crew, but I don’t want THAT MUCH angst!)

and don’t worry, mutual hate fucking is cumming (lol, i hate myself 😭) it has to, zoro is literally the perfect character for it

I was sentenced to a quick stint in horny jail but have been bailed out! I promised the tumblr gods to behave from here on out so fingers crossed that doesn’t happen again!!

thank you for the sweet words about my art! I realized I didn’t even post all the things I made! Crafty things are my favorite! And I would love to see your baby Robin, I bet she’s adorable!

I’m glad you like the birthday celebration event! I’m pretty excited about it! I just hope I can come up with enough birthday themed ideas! 😅 and speaking of covert identity… lmao chapter 4 is basically done but then I remembered y’all need chapter 3 before that! My goal is to have chapter 3 done within the month and 4 will come quickly after! ☺️

Pudding and all of big mamas kids deserved better! I’m interested to see what role the Charlotte children will play in Wano or if some of them will ever be seen again in the future!

And bestie! I’m so glad you saw the tag!! LOL! I was giggling writing it out, because I was like, this will be so funny if my 🌱 opens it! And I couldn’t not include you! And I feel that blog issue, my old blog was a cluster fuck of all my different fandoms, and I was like, alright. Time to just make something fresh for op!

I’d be happy to interact with any blog you make, but will also always have you in my heart as my little sprout! 🥰🥺 love love love getting to hear from you! 💗

#mimi answers #🌱 anon

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generallybarzy · 3 years

Text

1 Year

January 22nd, 2020. That was the date it all started.

Now, it’s been a year.

(Sorry, you don't get a read more, this is too important)

I started this blog last year, after attending a local hockey game that we get to see every year and realizing how much more I was into it than my other friends there. I went home, logged onto my other tumblr account, and started looking through random hockey tags from my [redacted] blog (y'all don't gotta know the fandoms I was into haha). For a week or so, I lurked. I saw bits and pieces of the all star game, of some of the games that were being played, but I was too scared to interact with anyone because I was joining the community so "late". I wasn't late to anything, its not like hockey is a new thing or something with a time limit, but it felt like I was behind. I wasn't a lifelong fan like some people I saw post about it, I didn't even understand what people were talking about. But I saw the game, eventually saw the cute players everyone loves, and got excited. I finally decided to make this blog, wanting to make some new friends in the hockey community. I kinda floated around hockeyblr for a while, rebloggong a few things quietly but not interacting too much because i didn't feel like i could, until my school closed down in March. After that, I turned to writing- specifically for barzy, who I had just learned about on this site. And with that writing, that very first fic that I tagged bigger writers in, trying to get some recognition, I started to gain followers. And friends.

Since i started, my followers on here have traveled with me through life. Literally. I got my drivers license, i embarrassed myself with that guy at the beach, got my first job, started (and hopefully soon finished) my senior year of highschool, and got accepted into my dream college. I didn't have online friends before this, so when I stopped be able to see my irl friends irl, you guys became just as necessary as them. We've been through highs and lows together, both irl, personally, and in this community, but honestly, i still love it here. I couldn’t be more thankful for all of you, the old and the new. I genuinely wouldn’t have been able to get through the past year if it weren’t for this place.

I have a whole appreciation post but some of the people who either ARE constantly in my messages or had been in the past but we haven't talked in a bit, all of these people helped me along the way. @matbaerzal (one of the very first writers who followed me on here, wow. The 10th person out of 1000 to follow me. I adore all of your stuff and look up to you so much) , @mbarzals (I think I convinced you to post your first fic, and I wrote all of Opportunities just for you, but we haven't really talked a lot in a while), @thirteenisles (mom! Helping me out a bunch, especially when I was way smaller on here and didn't have many friends, and we haven't talked in a bit and I'm so sorry), @d-cozens (has always been a solid reader, I remember you under a different user haha I've been seeing you in my notifications for the longest time), @fallinallincurls (we always talk the best concepts!!!!! I always come to you about fics!!!! In the long run, we just started talking a bit ago but you're like the sweetest person ever and I'm so happy we're moots), @softboybarzal (I can't even begin to describe how much you've helped. I'm serious. Thank you so much. Not to mention the amazing things we talk about, always making me so soft), @folkloreflyers (tk and nolan, we have the matching jerseys what can I say. We also come up with some of the best ideas), @barzzal (I deadass look up to you so much, your theme and content is god tier thank you for helping me with my header. I hope we can talk more smt), @dembenchboys (omg baby. Baby. Your messages mean so much to me and I literally light up whenever I see them. We literally don't deserve you. You're too pure and amazing for this world. An angel. I think I've forget to respond to you a few times and I feel so bad but I love you so much don't forget it!!!!!!), @canadianheaters (why do we always have the strangest conversations like idk what here but there's some cursed energy baaagghschhd anyway we come up with the best shit together like monkey suit mat), 🥔 anon, 💙 anon, 😌 anon, 🖤 anon, BLUE SHORTS ANON (I REMEMBER YOU WHERE ARE YOU) and all you other lovely followers i have who have been so supportive over the past year 💕💕💕

Now that all that sappy stuff is out of the way, here's what we'll be doing today to celebrate!

Send in your stories on how you came to find my blog and what made you stay!! Or just any stories you have about here

Request little hcs not about mat and s/o in scenarios but about small things like "does mat like coffee or tea?" or about what cute habits he might have. I feel like we don't discuss about my hc version of him enough

Also, respond to other anons and send your own hcs!!!!

The final thing is that I will be taking requests for short, personalized blurbs where you send me a prompt, a name, and stuff about yourself and I write YOU and mat instead of reader and mat.. I'll make another post about it when I'm ready to do those, probably around 2pm est.

Once again, lemme just drill it into your heads how happy I am to have all you guys, and how proud I am of where this blog has come to in a year. I couldn't have done it without any of you.💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

#the anniversary #op #😌 anon

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