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ellana-ravenwood · 2 years

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Buttslap ?/Batslap ! - Bruce Wayne x fem!reader

Synopsis : You’ve had the “bad” habit of slapping your husband’s butt every chance you get since almost as long as you two started dating. And sometimes, it gets you in trouble...

Not me, writing a fic the day before my wedding...Haha, I had time to relax before the big day, and I thought : “what could be better to truly chill, than to write a silly little fanfic ?” This started from an ask, and now we’re here. This is just a story for fun and not to be taken too seriously, one of those stories that exist purely because I told myself : “I mean, why not ?”. I hope you’ll like it nonetheless ! :

Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.

My masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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Habitus

““Man is largely a creature of habits”, said the famous philosopher G. Stanley Hall and...ain’t that the truth ?

It’s nice and stress free, to have habits. To do things a certain way, and to not change that way (as long as it’s effective). To automatically repeat certain actions.

It’s comforting, even soothing, to know that at least, there’s some constant in your life. It’s a feeling of safety, almost.

It’s one of those things you know you can always rely on, you know ?

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I will always, ALWAYS, slap my husband’s ass whenever I get the chance.”

There’s a silence in the room, as you end your little speech. Most people are just too stunned to react. What, did THE (Y/N) Wayne just say all that for real ? Or was it a collective hallucination ?

Did you really just climb up the stage at this insanely crowded charity gala, and proudly told everyone that...you enjoyed slapping the famed Bruce Wayne’s butt ?

Well. Yes. Yes, you very much did. Oh dear...

And the worst thing was ? You weren’t even aware of it.

The past week had been quite busy, and stressful, and you did not want to come to this gala, but your position made it so you were kind of obligated to...and therefor, to ease your anxiety about it all, you might’ve drunk a little bit too much champagne (you didn’t need much anyway).

Oopsie.

Now here you were, talking about slapping your husband’s ass, and it being an action that comforted you greatly. How embarrassing. Fortunately, most people were just shocked that you dared to say all that, and would probably think they imagined it all.

Plus, Bruce, being used to your antics, just casually walked on the stage, and just took your hand and dragged you with him before you could continue to speak about how you worshipped your husband’s butt.

Of course, as he took you away, you managed to give his ass a good slap, before turning to everyone else and saying with a big smile : “Soooo satisfyinnnnnnng !!”.

Needless to say, you were mortified the next day, as your husband told you all about it, amused. You did remember doing that, and that it sounded like a GREAT idea on the moment and- oh my God, you hated those galas !

You were expecting the story to be on the headline of all tabloids, but fortunately for you, that day, Penguin’s trial was starting and the “downfall of the Cobblepot” was still more important than “(Y/N) Wayne says husband’s butt is great”...Pheww, crisis averted.

This time.

The first time it happened

Slap !!

Bruce stops in his tracks, and slowly turns around towards you.

“Did you just...Did you just slap my ass ?”

He asks, almost in disbelief, his cheeks slightly tinted of a rosy color that you find just too adorable (although, you’d never tell him that).

“Um, yes ?”

You answer shyly, afraid you went a little too fast. Afraid you offended him. Afraid you were totally out of bound. I mean. You did slap his butt without asking if you could, he didn’t consent, and that was bad...The more you thought of it, the more you were livid. What did you do ? How dare you ? You really just slapped THE Bruce Wayne’s ass, the fearless Batman’s butt cheeks ??? And without asking if you could first, at that ??? Outrageous.

“Im-I’m sorry ! I didn’t mean to- I mean, I did mean to, but I should’n’t have ! I’m sorry ut’s just-”

It’s just you couldn’t help it. What. The man was climbing the stairs in front of you, showing his perfectly shaped butt to you, what else were you supposed to do ?? It was pure instinct.

Here he was, all muscles and shapes in his black dress pants, and suddenly, your hand found itself slapping his backside as if it had a mind of its own !

You were feeling so awkward now, this was what, your third date ? How would you have reacted, if a man did this to you ?

Oh dear. Oh dear. Were you one of those disgusting predator ?? Slapping people’s butt just like that ?

Oh. But not just people. Bruce Wayne’s butt. Only his, had such a power of attraction on your hand. Which didn’t make you feel any better about your action.

You were a little disgusted with yourself, the more you thought about it. And you-

“No don’t apologize ! Please. I-um...I liked it.”

Short silence.

You look at him. He looks at you.

You raise an eyebrow, a smirk slowly rising on your face.

He looks away, embarrassed.

“You did now, didn’t you ?”

“Yes. You can- do it again, if you want.”

“Can I ?”

“Yes.”

Ah. Here was the last barrier to it all : his permission.

He was giving you permission to slap that beautiful, perfect ass. Who were you, to resist him ?

And that’s, when this all thing started.

“A disgusting habit !!”

The kids hate it, of course.

As if the fact their parents weren’t into PDA way too much for their taste, what, their mom just HAD to slap their dad’s ass whenever she could ??

Did you have no self-control ?!

DICK

Dick was eight years old, when he saw you do that for the first time. It was still a time during which you tried to keep your affection for your husband as tamed as possible, especially in front of your boy (as the years went by, you just found it too funny, the way they reacted to the slightest touch of affection between you and Bruce, and you couldn’t help but mess with them).

You slapped his butt, and he turned around smiling and then kissed you

And Dickie, oh, bless that young and innocent little bird...He thought the butt slap was just a way of showing someone you loved them !

Oh, oh the awkward moment when you had to explain to him that no, this was not what it meant, and that he couldn’t just go around slapping everyone’s butt (that kid loved too many people).

That it was only when you “loved-loved” someone, that you could do that.

The boy was horrified, of course. And even to this day, he remembers it. He often said that it was one of his childhood’s greatest trauma (and in a way, that joke helped him relativized his actual trauma).

After that, whenever he would see you slap Bruce’s but, he’d yell : “Go love-love each other somewhere else !”, and you found it so adorable, despite your son being genuinely mad.

Even now, as an adult, he’d still exclaim things like : “Oh please for the love of goooood, get a rooooom !!”, and other : “CONTROL YOURSELF, PARENTS !”

It never ceased to amuse you. Which was definitely not why you kept doing that in front of him, right ? *evil laugh*.

JASON

Jason thought it was funny. Ever since he was a child.

In his mind, you slapping Bruce’s butt was a mark of affection. Was one of your love language. He’d always been more sensitive than others, as to what made each person’s way of loving others special.

It always made him happy, when he saw the both of you giggle together because of it. Jason never needed much, in life. Just people to love, and who loved him back. Just family.

Of course, just like his brothers and sister, he’d get annoyed by your “horny teenager” behavior sometimes. But the butt slapping ? It was never that. It was always clearly just a fun joke between you and Bruce.

Ah, Jason couldn’t help it. If you or his dad smiled ? It was enough for him. He couldn’t be mad, when those he loved were happy. It made him happy, in return.

When he got resurrected, and he felt abandoned by all of you, it was more painful than every thing else. He would’ve rather been tortured by the Joker for a thousand years, than feel this emotion again. All alone, unloved, forgotten...(or at least, so he thought).

When he started to forgive you guys, and he first saw you slap Bruce’s butt after years and years of not seeing something like this...

It made him smile. Unintentionally. Subconsciously.

A big smile. And it warmed his heart. Because-

Because those two still loved each other as if it was their first day together.

Because his parents were happy.

And, because the reason he was so angry at them, was because he loved them so much, that it hurt too strongly to think they abandoned him...

But small moments like this. His mom slapping his dad’s butt when she thought he wasn’t looking. Bruce unable to fight the smile growing on his lips. The look you both exchanged...

Love.

And it just made him happy. As simple as that.

TIM

Tim had decided since a long time that he would just pretend like his parents do not exist when they start to get all lovey dovey.

As a result, you can slap Bruce’s ass right in front of him, or even kiss him, and Tim will just close his eyes, and pretend he’s somewhere else.

The first time he brought Bernard home, Bruce, him and said Bernard were in the kitchen drinking some milkshake when you came in the room.

Tim instantly just turned his head towards his boyfriend, knowing what was going to happen. And sure enough...it did happen.

You said : “hey guys”, to which they all answered “hey” (my love - Bruce / Mom - Tim/ Mrs Wayne - Bernard). You casually walked across the room, gave your husband’s ass a big ol’ slap (he acted as if it never happened), got yourself a smoothie, and then exited the room saying “bye guys”, of course not forgetting to slap his butt once more as you walked passed Bruce, and give him a mandatory kiss on the cheek.

Tim said : “Bye mom”, still not looking in your direction. Bruce said : “bye my love”. And Bernard just stared, obviously stunned by what just happened.

Later on, Tim would just tell him : “Ignore them, trust me, it’s just easier.”, and honestly, Bernard couldn’t help but love that weird family. Never a boring day, with them.

DAMIAN

He will NEVER let his father walk in front of you. You go up flight of stairs ? Either he’ll make sure you get in the front, either he’ll get in the middle of them.

His strategy was to simply not give you a chance to slap Bruce’s ass.

After all, if you always did it “whenever you got a chance”, if he rendered nulle those chances...he could avoid seeing it, right ?

He always managed to get himself between you and his father, to take your hand at the right time, and hug you, so that you’d stop the “slapping motion”.

Bonus ? The fact that he could make his dad almost jealous because that meant that he always managed to redirect your attention on him. The attention that was supposed to be for Bruce, he’d get it with his hugs.

It was sneaky, really. And it always worked.

CASS

Cass was the most radical of them all. Unlike Damian, who would stop you in some clever way, she’d simply stop you unscrupulously. If she saw you approached her father when she was around, she’d just say :

“No.”

And stop you by grabbing (lightly) your wrist. Which always stunned you enough, that you just forgot about the butt slap.

At one point, your only daughter took it upon herself to “train you” to stop doing that when she was around...and literally used a water spray to deter you from slapping your husband’s butt.

Whenever she saw you coming from behind Bruce’s back, she’d spray your face with water, and say “no.”

It worked...for a short while. You didn’t want to embarrass or annoy your kids too much, so if it bothered her that much, you’d just stop.

You’d just stop ?

Oh, but that was underestimating your “manipulation skills”. “No”, ugh ? Well, we’d see about that. After all, you don’t teach new tricks to an old dog.

You over-exaggerated everything. Sighed whenever you saw your husband, staring at his butt, but not doing anything. It came to a point that Cass started to feel guilty, and eventually stopped reacting to you slapping your husband’s butt (well, she’d use the “Tim technique” of looking away, even though she still thought you two were disgusting).

Your plan worked. No more spraying of water, no more “no”, or Cass stopping your wrist...Aaaah, it was almost too easy.

Once, Dick said : “Ah, she got you too, didn’t she ?”, and Cass didn’t quite grasp his words before a long time. When she finally got it, an evening, while laying in bed, she sat up suddenly and exclaimed :

“WHAT THE FUCK !!”

DUKE

Duke..never expect THE Batman to act this way. And even less elegant (Y/N) Wayne that he saw so many time in the papers.

And yet, every chance you got, you’d give your husband’s ass a big slap, and leave definitely pleased with yourself.

How weird.

But to be honest, this wasn’t the weirdest thing Duke found out about that family. And in the end, Batman getting his ass slapped by his wife on a regular basis, was it really that weird ?

Yes. No. Yes. It definitely was.

The incident (you know, worst than that time you publicly admitted you loved slapping your husband’s ass)

“We warned you countless time, mother. It was bound to happen, really. You can only blame yourself.”

It was rare, that Dick would call you “mother”. To be fair, none of them ever did...except when they were sort of disappointed in you. Kind of in the same way you’d call them by their full name when you were mad at them, you know ?

The fact that your eldest just called you “mother” added insult to injury. It wasn’t like your son, to rub salt into the wound. But oh well...You did kind of deserve it.

You definitely had it coming.

But seriously, how could you know ? Those people were sneaky. It was part of their job !

You sighed, looking at the headline of most papers from Gotham, horrified :

“Is (Y/N) Wayne cheating on Bruce Wayne with...BATMAN ????”

“Gosh dang it”, to use an expression often used by a certain man from Smallville.

So what, you can’t even slap your husband’s butt in public now ?? Well..You made a mental note of not doing it in public, anymore. Not when he was wearing the Batman costume, that is.

What happened was : it was 6 am. One of those December mornings during which it was still very dark outside. You were going to an important early meeting, and your family was coming back from a night out patrolling. You thought you’d kiss them goodnight on your way.

How were you supposed to know that a paparazzo was following you that day ? It was so early, what kind of psycho would do that ? Oh..but this was Gotham, of course.

The picture that bastard snatch didn’t leave any doubt : it was clearly you, grabbing with your full hand a piece of Batman’s ass.

Gosh dang it.

How were you going to get out of that one ?

It’s Tim, who suggested you pretend the picture was manipulated. He almost didn’t say anything, because well, yeah, this would serve you right...But also, he couldn’t bear the thought of anyone thinking something ill of his mom.

Bruce took care of the rest.

Using the latest tech available, he actually manipulated the picture to make it look like you were giving something to Batman. And he managed to convince everyone else that the picture of you grabbing his ass was faked.

What would Lucious think, if he knew his hard work was used for that, uh ?

Everyone knew you loved when paparazzi took picture of you grabbing your husband’s ass, because you thought it was funny. So it was easy to pretend as if the paparazzo managed to fake the picture using those.

And then, everyone also knew that Bruce Wayne had a close “work” relationship with Batman, so the fact his wife would give Batman files wasn’t too crazy.

Of course, the fact Gothamites seemed to vow a blind faith into your husband, made the rest easy.

Everyone bought it. Oh, and that paparazzo ? Bruce made sure he wouldn’t be a problem (by giving him many pictures to sell, not by threatening him...at least, not officially).

And that’s how you avoided a HUGE scandal.

But did that incident deter you from slapping your husband’s ass every chance you got ? Absolutely not.

The broken hand

“For the last time Damian, this wasn’t my fault !”

“Oh yeah ? Well you should’n’ve contracted your muscles so much !”

“I-I can’t help it !!”

But nothing Bruce could say would stop his son to glare at him.

“Who need muscles in their ass anyway ????” He’d say, angry that-

That his mom got hurt.

You found it so funny. This situation was hilarious. Like, come on. You had a cast on your hand right now, because you slapped your husband’s ass a little too hard (and that man was made of pure muscles).

Neither Damian nor Bruce thought it was, of course, which made it even funnier.

Damian couldn’t bear any harmed be done to you, and though he knew it was an accident, he couldn’t help be a little mad at his dad.

“Batman works out everything.”

Is what you heard your husband say, once, to Clark (surely, they were fighting about who had more muscles once again...pretty common...Ugh, men).

But it was true, your husband worked out every single muscles in his body. He never skipped “leg day”, and definitely didn’t skip “butt and glute” day.

His ass was hard.

And you broke your hand slapping it.

Come on, it was so fu*king funny !!

Bruce, of course, hated when you were hurt. He always felt ill himself, when you’d get any kind of injuries. But that time ? He couldn’t feel (too) sorry, because oh my god you laughed way too much at your own mistake !

He could’ve gone without your son’s reaction, though...

Bruce had to hear about it for days. Jason and Dick also thought it was so funny (mainly the fact their little brother would keep bringing it up). But none thought it was funnier than you did.

So. Yes. A broken hand. Ah, but did that deter you from slapping your husband’s ass every chance you got ? Absolutely not.

The instagram page

It was a secret.

A secret all of your children knew, of course.

But they pretended they never heard of it, and had the account blocked on their personal insta feed.

Yes. It was a “secret”.

What, you might ask ?

An instagram page, with pictures of your husband’s perfect butt.

An instagram page...ran by you, of course.

Because : “sharing is caring, it’s not fair if I’m the only one who can admire it.”

So, no. You were not about to share him with anyone really. You wouldn’t be the only one admiring it, but you’d stay the sole “batbutt toucher” on this planet (other planets included, actually).

But you loved to brag about him. Plus, you thought it was HILARIOUS to open such an instagram page.

Of course, you were the only who found it funny. But oh well, it was worth it. And those accounts racked quite a bit of followers.

Somewhere on the web, there was also a “BruceWayneThighs” page, and a “BruceWayneJawline” one...Mmm, wondered who made those, eh ?

More effective than Kryptonite

Everyone remembers the absolute SHOCK on his face when Clark first saw you slap Bruce’s butt.

It was at the League’s headquarters, of course. Not long after they discovered that Bruce had kids, AND a wife !!

They were having an important meeting on a world class threat, when you arrived. You had come to bring Batman some lunch (that in itself was quite shocking). And as you were about to leave, you just casually gave him a slap on the butt, and said : “see you tonight hot stuff”, and WHAAAAT ?!

It rendered Clark speechless for a good minute or two. As if he had been hit by a fist made out of green kryptonite. By multiple fists, even.

“Did she just- did she- did- dshe-idshe-ddd-ugh ?”

“Once again, you shine by your uncanny intelligence.” Bruce sarcastically said, annoyed by this reaction. He disliked, when people commented on his relationship (some would say : maybe don’t make it so public ? But then, some learned that it was better to just not upset Batman too much).

Diana almost killed Clark, when she said : “I wouldn’t mind if she slapped my butt.”

Who were those people ?? The mighty Superman was about to have a brain fry, but then he noticed Bruce. Was he...pouting ?

And was it because of Diana’s comment ?

The woman was smirking mischievously, clearly pleased with herself. And the pout on the Batman was growing.

That day, Clark decided to pretend as if nothing happened. On one side, because he couldn’t fathom the Batman getting his ass slapped by his wife, and on the other side, because him and said Batman had just become friends, and he didn’t want to make him pout further by commenting his personal life.

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Clark never got used to it though.

Over the years, he saw you countless time slap your husband’s butt, but he could never quite register the fact that this was Batman.

Right there.

Batman.

Him.

🦇👨, himself.

Getting his butt slapped (and clearly enjoying it, although he’d never let that comment slip as he didn’t wanna risk Bruce glaring at him).

It was odd. At the same time, it made him more human.

And though Superman would never get used to the idea of you just casually slapping your husband’s ass whenever you got the chance, he never thought it was something that you shouldn’t do (as weird as it sounded).

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To reassure Bruce, except for Diana who reenacted the “I wish that were me” meme, every single member of the JLA went : “👁👄👁” when they first saw you do it.

They all got used to it, unlike Clark, but still. It was quite a shock, the first time they witnessed it. It was the way you did it so naturally, and how Bruce didn’t even react, that got them...

Unbeknowst to neither you nor Bruce, they all started to call that habit of yours “the batslap” (and thought they were very clever for their play on words...Butt slap, batslap...Oh yes, there was a reason why Bruce, was considered the smartest)

“I will never stop, you cannot make me stop.”

Over the years, even after many “incidents” and “troubles” born from you slapping Bruce’s butt, it never even once came to your mind to stop doing it.

It became one of those habits that was actually comforting to you. As if you and Bruce could be a normal couple sometimes, with your own little silly “inside jokes”.

Hell, when he was sure no one was around, Bruce would literally put his ass out just for you to slap...because as odd and ridiculous as it could sound, it became one of those thing that made you, you.

The woman he fell in love with.

Whom, even during the worst moments, would be there to cheer him up (and vice versa).

The woman who never hesitated once to slap THE Batman’s butt. THE Bruce Wayne’s ass. How many people like that existed in this world, uh ?

Yes, doing that got you a lot of time in troubles. Got you in delicate situations, in awkward ones, and even, a few time, dangerous ones (you didn’t wanna talk about it).

But never, NEVER would you walk pass your husband without slapping his butt. Nothing could stop you from it. No one could, either. You’d always find a way.

As you said all those years ago, it was as if your hand and his butt were magnetically aligned.

Of course, you’d exaggerate greatly all that matter. You found it funny, really. Besides the fact that you just liked slapping his butt, that is.

And Bruce ? Oh, Bruce wouldn’t have it any other way.

His ass, was yours to slap.

The end.

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Told you, it was gonna be dumb haha. Still had fun writing it. I’m getting married tomorrow, and took advantage of a chill time today before the mayhem to sit down a few minutes and write...I hope you enjoyed this story :). As per usual, comments/reblogs are beyond appreciated <3. Thank you for reading !

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penguinpartypalooza · 3 months

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LADIES, GENTLEMEN, EVERYTHING INBETWEEN! THIS IS YOUR PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SPEAKING! To kick off my club penguin blog, a little project I started 5 years ago, the anniversary of Skip Dating Sim 2: The Electric Boogaloo is now live in a special update!

Enjoy the show, a lot of us worked very hard on it :]

#Skip Dating Sim 2: The Electric Boogaloo #SDS2:EB #Skip the bellhop #skip club penguin #club penguin #club penguin fan game #club penguin fanart #club penguin fanwork #club penguin game #dating sim #club penguin dating sim

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chand-ki-priyatama · 18 days

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Ek khat mere pyare bade Bhai ke naam

@hectorfrombritain

You chose this name "HECTOR" for you , if we go in the literary sense it means to talk to someone in a bullying way - irony of this fact that you can never do that.... And so I nicknamed you "CEDAR"

One of the most sweetest, kindest being I ever met....

These are my feelings for you in the form of writing cause we are writers we do not speak we bleed ink on paper...

So ye khat aapke naam from aapki chhoti behen Clover aka me Kaya ek kaviyitri aur lekhika....

Mere pyare penguin bhaiya that's why I nicknamed you cedar cause Its metaphysical properties promote peaceful thoughts and help interpret messages from your inner self. Cedar supports us on spiritual quests by reconnecting and grounding us with earthly roots..... And I attribute all these qualities with you...

So Cedar bro , intellectual baatein karne wale samajhdaar bhaiya

Dear Bhai,

I first interacted with you via a reblog post and I was amazed by your thoughts on my writing then we had a very small chat on dm that's it.... then I joined the discord server but there too we never chatted much cause I was busy in creating a ruckus for myself

But now since we have started talking , I never felt as if I never had a word with you on the contrary it feels as if my day is incomplete without sharing words with you....

Someone beautiful as their existence

Someone who is dearest to me....

Honestly love the way you talk , and might I tell you you need to teach me about Greek mythology , you are so intelligent and intellectual means how just drop the secrets dude...

Although I am not there irl with you but I'll always be there for comforting you....

Never feel as if you are alone in something cause you have a little sister with whom you can share anything...

We are always together in everything although not physically but whenever you see the stars and moon remember that they bind me together with everyone and whenever you feel alone just look at them somewhere I am doing that too...

They bind me to you

Being one of the most supportive person and still doubting yourself is not good that's why I included earlier "Look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear" , you are one of the bestest person out there so learn to trust in your abilities...... (I dare you say something contrary and see what I will do🔪)

You feel like a soft melody after constantly being irritated by pop music...

These are your vibes according to me :-

I still remember the day you told me your penguin story gosh I am still not over it , it was so cute and wholesome....

You know how I am the bubbly talkative af girl and to am extent I can say maybe nakchadi hu (still can't believe you though I was rude ) but you are the contrary mature, intellectual, introverted but that's what makes us brother and sister...

If I had to say you were a colour I'd definitely say you are green cause Those with Green color personality strengths tend to be perfectionistic, analytical, conceptual, cool, calm, inventive and logical. They seek knowledge and understanding as well as always looking for explanations and answers....

As if fictional character fight me but I will always say you are Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice cause you give off those gentlemen vibes...

Now imagine we met and you know my obsession with Polaroids so think these pics as them...

I know deep down sometimes (always) just like me you think about things about what would happen but isn't it the part of growing up...

अजीब दास्ताँ है ये, कहाँ शुरू, कहाँ ख़तम

I associate these lyrics with you cause our friendship was something very unexpected....

Last few days were tough for me so thank you for always being there for me and supporting me throughout....

I lost my faith in friendship way too early but thanks to you and few others that you revived it....

Now imagine me playing a guitar and singing this song to you...

I been tryin' to do it right (Hey) I been livin' a lonely life (Ho) I been sleepin' here instead (Hey) I been sleepin' in my bed (Ho) I been sleepin' in my bed (Hey) (Ho) (Ho) so show me family (Hey) all the blood that I will bleed (Ho) I don't know where I belong (Hey) I don't know where I went wrong (Ho) but I can write a song (Hey)

I belong with you, you belong with me You're my sweetheart I belong with you, you belong with me You're my sweet

I dedicate these lyrics to you...

Just so you know I love you to the moon and back and I always appreciate and cherish your existence....

As always I'll dedicate these songs to you and as of its voice note I'll send it to you...

Now I think I have spoken enough

So signing off Cedar bro,

With love always

Kaya 💗

#desiblr #desi aesthetic #desi teen #mutuals my beloved #kaya ke pyare mutuals

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silentangel00 · 5 months

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The Batman

(Reader Insert)

Chapter 5: Answer the Call

Chapter 4: https://www.tumblr.com/silentangel00/732845264415719424/the-batman

Bruce approaches City Hall where the funeral is being held for the late mayor. He gazes at the street that's packed with mourners, makeshift memorials, and Riddler-styled protesters holding up signs. Pulling up in front of City Hall Bruce exits his car as a Valet opens his door. He is immediately met with Paparazzi shouting his name and cameras flashing. He tries to give them a strained smile but immediately turns and ignores them as he reaches for his wallet to pay the valet. A familiar voice catches his attention and he turns to see the Penguin opening a car door.

"We're good, Mr Falcone." Bruce turns upon hearing Falcone's name and watches as he exits his car. His attention is distracted briefly as the valet calls for him and he hands him a wad of cash and turns to move through the thick crowd, bottle-necking at the entrance of City Hall, not taking his eyes off of Falcone. He starts to get closer before a hand slaps into his chest stopping him.

"Hey! Give us a wide berth here would'ya, slick" Penguin warns as he grabs onto him. The commotion catches Falcone's attention and he turns to eye Bruce.

"Hey, watch it, fellas. You got the Prince of the city there." Penguin and the guards loosen their grip and Falcone steps closer to Bruce. "Some event huh? Brought out the one guy in the city more reclusive than me." He smiles as Bruce glares with an edge, a sense of history between them.

"I thought you never leave the Shoreline. Aren't you afraid someone'll take a shot at you?" It was difficult for Bruce to bite back his tone with the mobster.

"Why? Cause your father ain't around?" Falcone cockily retorts "Oz, you know Bruce Wayne?" The penguin looks at him in surprise.

"Wow... is that right?"

"His father saved my life. I got shot in the chest, right here. Couldn't go to no hospital, so we showed up on his doorstep. He took me in, and operated right on his dining room table, kid here saw the whole thing up on the stairs lookin down. I remember your face. You don't think that meant somethin he did that?"

"Means he took the Hippocratic Oath."

"Hippocratic Oath... that's good ..." Falcone says in clear amusement at the answer.

"Excuse me," Bruce says as he abruptly moves on, leaving as Falcone laughs at him. Bruce scans the crowd as he walks inside. He clocks rifled officers among spectators above, and cops stopping a suspicious guy in front of him. Announcements over the speaker ring out in the large space of people

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming to today's memorial for our beloved mayor, Don Mitchell, Jr. Our program will begin shortly. As a reminder, the family asks that those wishing to honor the mayor's memory consider a donation to the cause most dear to his heart, the Gotham RenewalFund, our city's safety net."

"What good's a safety net doesn't catch anybody?" Bruce turns to the owner of the eerie voice. A man in a hooded work jacket glares with bitter angry eyes as the VIPs pass. "Didn't help my daughter when she needed it -- I can tell you that. Guy was just another rich scumsucker. He got what he deserved." The man then looks up at Bruce "Know what I mean?" Bruce studies his face as he nods in silence. The man's expression changes as he tries to place Bruce "Hey, don't i know you?" The man is cut off as someone calls Bruce's name.

"Bruce Wayne! Why haven't you called me back?" Bruce is startled as he turns to see Bella Real coming towards him.

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm Bella Real -- I'm running for mayor -- I wouldn't be bothering you here, but your people keep telling me you're "unavailable". Will you walk with me?"

Bruce starts to walk with her as he turns back to the angry man before; He glares and turns to disappear into the crowd. Bruce wasn't paying much attention to what she was saying as he turned back toward her but immediately his attention was caught again. There you were talking to a couple of people off to the side. He stops and stares still not listening to Bella as she bluntly urges him to do more for the city. You look around curiously til your gaze lands on him and you do a sudden double-take as you both lock eyes. You turn to excuse yourself from the conversation and walk over to Bruce and Bella, almost cautiously as if you weren't sure if he was actually Bruce or not. It's been so long and he looks so different you don't want to embarrass yourself by calling a complete stranger the wrong name.

"Y/N! So good to see you again." Bella chimes at your approach.

"You as well, though I wish it was under better circumstances of course." You say as your attention flicks back and forth between her and studying Bruce's face. Bella immediately wipes her smile from her face taking on a gloomy demeanor.

"Of course, of course... Are we still on for lunch next week?"

"Yes ma'am!" You give a small smile.

"I'm going to go pay my respects." Bella turns to Bruce "Will you wait for me? I want to continue this." She then walks off to the front where the Mayor's wife and son are sitting.

"...Bruce," You say giving the same smile that makes his mind turn static.

"Y/N?" He almost forgot that he has to pretend that he didn't know you were back in Gotham. You chuckle nervously as you subtly look him up and down. He has a darkness about his eyes, seems like he hasn't slept in days or weeks. A slight stubble and a seemingly natural look of being miserable.

"Wow... you look-" Awful "Grown-up! ...It's been a while hasn't it?"

"Yeah, it has... When did you get back?"

"Just a few months ago. I tried reaching out to you I promise--- but it seems you changed your number so I stopped leaving messages." Bruce gave you an odd look then looked away.

"It hasn't changed..." He didn't want to lie to you, even though telling you that he just hasn't bothered to check his messages made him feel guilty, but he didn't want to shut you out. Not anymore... "I have a lot of messages to get through so it's nothing personal. I'm just--busy"

"Oh... no I understand!" Even though you smiled at him he could tell he hurt you.

"I could give you Alfred's number, I'm sure he'd love to hear from you." Your face brightened at the offer.

"Oh yes please!" You hand Bruce your phone for him to type in Alfred's number.

"What brings you to Gotham?" He was genuinely curious, he couldn't conversate with you like this as Batman. This was his only chance, even if there was awkward tension between you two with how things were left off ten years ago. You let out an exasperated sigh at the question as you turned and started slowly walking toward the front with Bruce.

"I'm taking over the Gotham branch of the family business" You rolled your eyes. "I'm also volunteering for the GCPD"

"Yeah? How's that going?"

"Well ya know with everything going on it's been kinda crazy for my first case. Haven't slept in almost 24 hours." You say with a humorless chuckle, Bruce looks at you incredulously.

"Well even with lack of rest you look..." Beautiful "Fine." He says as he awkwardly hands you back your phone, your hands brushing for just a second as you return your phone to your coat pocket.

"Ha, thanks... can't exactly say I feel fine though." Bruce stops to look at you noticing the weariness in your voice slip through. You avoid eye contact though looking toward the front at the late Mayors son. " I was there that night--- helped consult on the crime scene. His little boy still has the same look on his face that he did that night..." You say sullenly. Bruce watches along with you as the mayor's son turns around to look at the crowd, his eyes landing on you and Bruce. Bruce looks away to you about to say something when a familiar voice catches his attention.

"Excuse me, chief. Can I talk to you?" Bruce slowly turns to see Gordon behind them talking to the Chief of Police, Chief Bock, in a hushed voice. "Gil Colson is missing... He hasn't been heard from since last night."

"Christ, not again." Chief Bock says exasperated.

"I'm going to go ahead and pay my respects, I'll catch up with you later Bruce." You say walking away before Bruce can turn to say anything else, so he just nods to your retreating form. He bites down the disappointment of his conversation with you being cut short, he continues to listen to the conversation between Jim and Chief Bock.

"You got people looking for him, Jim?"

"Sent a couple guys to his house. Nothing."

"What'd his wife say?"

"She hadn't heard from him."

Suddenly they're cut off by the sounds of distant screams; an awful groaning engine whines from somewhere outside -- then -- sickening thuds. Bruce's eyes immediately flit up in alarm as he turns back to face the entrance, he takes in his surroundings as people start to stand from their seats upon hearing the same sounds. You turn your attention to the back as well, slowly you walk back towards the front opening of the aisle -- curiosity and fear set in as you hear the alarming noises. Bruce takes a quick glance back at you but then follows where your attention is brought up to the second story landing where spectators panic as they turn, seeing something through the windows; all except a silhouetted figure gazing eerily down in Bruce's direction... seemingly waiting for something as the sounds from outside get louder. Bruce shifted on his feet, his gut feeling leading his attention to land sharply right back at the entrance where the doors explode in a blizzard of glass and concrete.

As the D.A.'s SUV rips through the doors and crowd, flowers picked up in the grill of the car, pandemonium ensues as the crowd scatters in panicked screams; some people are tossed into the air. You stumble back in surprise and are quickly knocked off your feet by someone in complete panic. The vehicle slams past guardrails and into the seated area. Bruce spins to see you only a few feet away, disoriented as you get back up on your feet again. He breaks into a sprint and hurls himself at you tackling you out of the SUV's path as it roars past, narrowly missing you as it launches seats over your heads. The car finally crashes into the central staircase, buckling upward with the engine still grinding till it stops...

A surreal moment of quiet then screams, tears, and panic. Bruce lifts his head off of yours as he holds the back of your head and quickly analyzes your face, making sure you're alright. He looks up to the second floor to discover the mysterious figure from before is gone -- Bruce rises with you still in his arms. He's holding tightly onto your elbows to keep you stable as you sway from the sudden rush of adrenaline going to your head.

"Are you ok?" You ask as you look up at him, but his attention is turned towards the SUV -- it's covered in a scrawled crossword puzzle pattern with the endlessly repeating message ‘D.A. -- D.O.A?’

Gordon and a bunch of cops surround the SUV with their guns raised screaming for whoever was inside the car to get out with their hands up. Bruce and you watch with bated breath as the driver door slowly opens all the way, a figure staggering out, hands raised, terrified...

"Christ, it's Colson." Gordon says in shock as he observes the D.A. with a bloody face and tape over his mouth with the words ‘NO MORE LIES’. A clamp is around his neck with lights rapidly flashing on it. A cop notices, horrified, and screams "There's a bomb around his neck!!" People start to scream and duck at this warning. Bruce pulls you in closer without breaking his stare away from the D.A. as a ringing goes off causing everyone to freak out and shield themselves further. The crowd looks up confused as Colson sheepishly lifts his hand and points to a cell phone taped to his palm. As it continues to ring Gordon turns, calling into the room of terrified people.

"Let's clear this place out! Now!"

Police start ushering people out but Bruce hesitates, chilled as he notices a greeting card taped to Colson's chest.

"Bruce we need to go." You say as you try to back out of his grasp to retreat with the crowd, but instead, his grip on your arms tightens. You look up at him curiously as you notice the intensity of his stare on the D.A. You reach up your hand and lightly tap his chest, "Bruce?" you call out softly. This finally gets his attention as he turns to you. "Let's go, yeah?" He silently nods and wraps an arm around your shoulder as he protectively escorts you out, glancing one last time over his shoulder at the greeting card taped to the D.A. -- addressed: "To The Batman."

As Bruce and you reach outside of the building he puts his hands on your shoulders and leans in to make sure you hear him over the commotion. "I've gotta go. Stay safe, ok?"

"Of course, you too." You watch as he walks away, and you turn in the opposite direction to go and find Gordon. Once Bruce reaches his car he leans into the trunk seizing an expensive leather duffle and slams the trunk closed. He disappears into the crowd as a flood of emergency vehicles screech onto the scene.

A short time later the outside of Gotham City Hall is jammed with police, SWAT, ATF, K9 units, and News crews. Gordon and you stand outside a Crisis Command Trailer where techs set up monitors as the leads argue.

"Unbelievable..." Gordon whispers out incredulously.

"Are they seriously fightin' over jurisdiction when that poor bastard is gonna blow any minute?" You say equally as appalled. Only a short while later the police send in a small whirring police robot. It rolls toward Colson as he sits alone, the cell phone in his hand echoing as it keeps ringing. Gil lifts his head as the robot stops before him, he stares oddly at it as a camera slowly extends towards his head.

"We got a picture!" One of the Techs yells out. Everyone suddenly quiets as they crowd around to see Colson just staring sadly into the robot camera. His expression changes when he suddenly turns, struck -- shock begins to fill his eyes.

"What's he lookin at?" Chief Bock questions. Colson sits there frozen as Batman emerges from the shadows, moving slowly across the floor toward him. Chief Bock's eyes widen as Batman appears on the robot's cameras, "Are you kiddin me?! What the hells he doin'?! ... Gordon!!!"

Gordon presses closer along with you to see Batman approaching Gil.

"Your guy's gonna get himself killed in there!"

Your jaw slightly drops as you watch with growing concern. Batman stops, towering over Gil, and reaches out to peel the tape off his mouth. Colson takes a deep breath "Please, he made me do it! I'm so sorry! ... He told me if I didn't do exactly what he said, he'd kill me. I'm so sorry!"

"Looks like a combination lock," Batman says as he studies the contraption around Colson's neck.

"Can't we just cut it off?" Colson whimpers out.

"Not if you want to keep your head." Batman then rips the card off of Gil's chest. On the cover is a cartoon of a lady holding a comically large old phone with the words 'In these trying times, Never forget...' Batman opens it, 'I'm just a phone call away.' -- under that in angry scrawl is the word 'ANSWER'. Gil lifts the ringing phone expectantly as Batman reaches to press the answer button. The phone's screen displays a live split-screen image of the riddler lurking out of frame on one side, and Batman on the other. Riddler stares for a beat before his chilling voice comes calmly through the changer.

"You came..."

"Who are you?"

"Me? I'm nobody... I'm just an instrument here to unmask the truth about this cesspool we call a city."

"Unmask?"

"Yes... let's do it together ok? I've been trying to reach you... You're part of this too"

"How am I a part of this?"

" You'll see..." Riddler says as he shifts to stand fully within frame. A police officer calls out to Chief Bock to come take a look at another monitor they have set up. GC1 news channel is running the feed from the Riddler's phone, broadcasting live through social media.

"Say hello to my followers, we're live! -- They're here to watch our little trial. At the moment, the man across from you, Mr Colson, is dead!"

Colson starts to panic upon hearing this, "Jesus, can we get somebody out here?! This psycho's gonna kill me!"

"SHUT UP!!" Riddler rises from his chair and presses in closer to the phone camera in anger as he screams with a scarily distorted voice " You deserve to be dead after what you did! You hear me?!!" The terrifying outburst makes Gil fall silent -- Riddler starts to eerily chuckle. " I'm giving you a chance -- No one ever gave me a chance." The Riddler has returned to an oddly calm demeanor as he continues, "Now... ever since I was a child, I've always loved puzzles... for me, they're a retreat from the horrors of our world. Maybe they can bring some comfort to you too, Mr Colson."

Colson turns the phone away from Batman and towards himself to face Riddler through the screen, "You want me to do puzzles?"

"Yes! Three riddles in two minutes! You give me the answers, and I'll give you the code for the lock! Do you understand?"

"Yeah, ok-" Gil rises from his seat and starts to pace " So you just want me to-" Before he can finish his question Gil shrieks as the countdown appears on his collar for two minutes and the Riddler starts without warning.

"Riddle number one! It can be cruel, poetic, or blind but when it's denied, it's violence you may find."

"Wait! Can you repeat that? I didn't -- I didn't -- Cruel... poetic?"

"Justice," Batman chimes.

"Huh?" Gil spins to look at Batman to panicked to think straight.

"The answers Justice."

Gil looks at the phone, "Justice?"

"Yes! Justice! And you were supposed to be an arm of justice in this city, along with the late mayor and police commissioner, were you not, Mr Colson?"

"Of course, of course, of course--"

"Riddle number two!" Riddler continues as you still watch on the screen connected to the police robot, biting your nails in anxiousness. " If you are justice, please do not lie. What is the price for your blind eye?"

Gil shakes his head in confusion "Price?"

"Bribes." You say out loud in frustration. Batman turns to the robot slightly as Colson struggles to keep his breath, hyperventilating as he repeats what you say to the Riddler.

"Oh God -- Bribes?"

Your brows furrow in confusion and you look to Gordon as you whisper " Can they hear me through that thing?" Gordon stiffly looks at you and nods as heat rises to your ears in embarrassment.

"He's asking how much it costs for you to turn your back." Batman corrects. Colson cries in exasperation.

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"Fifty-eight seconds!" Riddler interjects.

"How much?" Batman calmly pushes for the answer.

"Nothing!" Colson shakes his head in denial but Batman knows better.

"How much?!" He raises his voice pushing harder for Colson to answer. There's no time to waste.

"Ten grand!" Colson finally breaks. " Ten G's a month! I get a monthly payment just not to prosecute certain cases."

"What cases?"

"He didn't ask me that! Come on!" Colson holds up the phone to answer Riddler " Ten grand! That's my answer, it's ten grand!"

Riddler is obviously having a fun time of this as he giggles, " Okay, okay! Don't lose your head, Mr. Colson! Just one more to go before your time runs out. Last riddle!" He sings out, " Since your justice is so select, please tell us which vermin you're paid to protect..."

"Which vermin?"

"The Rat," Batman answers immediately knowing what this means, " The informant you all protect from the Salvatore Maroni case."

"How do you know about that?" Gil whispers out in shock.

"I'm trying to help you, what's his name?"

"Twenty seconds!" Riddler chimes excitedly.

Gil shakes his head, "No."

Batman steps closer urgently, grabbing Colson, "He's gonna kill you."

"I'm a dead man either way. You're talking to a dead man, okay?! If I go out this way it's just me, but if I give over that name, I have family, people I love -- He'll kill them too!"

"Who will?!"

"People are watching..." Colson whispers out.

"What people?!" Batman shakes him, trying to get something, anything, out of Colson.

"It's so much bigger than you could imagine. It's the whole system!"

Riddler starts to count down from five.

Colson cries-- "FOUR"

"Oh, God, have mercy on me.." "THREE"

Batman looks down in alarm as the timer ticks to zero hearing the Riddler sing out " Goooooodbye!"

Batman turns, shielding his face, as a blast erupts from the bomb around Colson's neck. Propelling Batman back as he slams to the ground, sliding into chairs, as his suit is in flames. Spectators from outside all erupt into rising voices of concern. Your hand slaps to your mouth, muffling a cry of surprise. High-pitched ringing fills Batman's ears as he lies on the floor in a daze. He struggles to open his eyes but can make out the forms of Gordon and you rushing toward him; followed by other cops with their guns drawn. His vision blurs as distorted yelling from the cops all around him fades and he blacks out.

Chapter6: https://www.tumblr.com/silentangel00/738078418748489728/the-batman

#batman #batman 2022 #batman x reader #batman x y/n #bruce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x y/n #reader insert #gotham #robert battinson #robert pattinson #dano riddler

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riddle-me-ri · 1 year

Note

Abosolutely love the way you write penguins 😭🤍 Since btas Oz is the most adorable gentlemen imo I'd like to request some drabble or hcs about artist S/O who tries to make a portrait of Oz because man deserves the world ngl

A/N: aww omg that's super adorable!! Sorry if it ends kinda weird, I wasn’t sure how to end this drabble lol.

Trigger Warnings: none, just pure fluffy sweetness

Word Count: 739

BTAS Penguin x Artist!Reader - A Portrait for The Penguin

You knew better than to stay up as late as you did in your studio. The last thing you needed was for Oz to grow concerned and have the surprise spoiled early.

You couldn’t help it though, you were so close to getting the portrait done.

As you painted his long black hair, you paint in the rich colors of his three piece suit, and you added detail to his monocle, including the small light reflecting off of it. You found your heart swell as the man you love slowly came to life on canvas.

You hoped that maybe, just maybe, with this painting Oswald can catch a glimpse of how you see him. An intelligent, cultured, and handsome man whom the world turned they’re back on purely because of his physical traits.

When he asks curiously just what subject could you be painting that has you so wound up in your studio. He couldn’t recall the last time you stowed away for hours on end in your studio.

You did your best to act indifferent. You were just in a motivated mood to get it done today…something generic but not entirely false. You assure him you’ll show it to him tomorrow once the paint is dried and the colors fully settle.

As the morning sun pierced through the slit between your curtains, you almost leaped out of bed. Like a child on Christmas morning, you gently nudged Oswald awake, it takes some time but finally, you both get out of bed.

You didn’t waste any time, not even bothering with breakfast. You grabbed his hand and immediately led him to your studio.

“Well, well, I don’t think I’ve seen you this enthused about any of your pieces. Am I witnessing you’re magnum opus, beloved?” Oswald chuckled sleepily.

You smiled widely with a hint of pride. You never thought about it, but it may as well be your magnum opus. You captured the person you loved the most forever on canvas, painted painstakingly by hand fueled by a concoction of your skill and loving devotion to him.

“Well, possibly…I think it could be.” You replied as you made your way around your easel and grabbed the loose edges.

“Are you ready, Oz?” You inquired, not being able to resist building the suspense.

“Of course, darling!”

You breathed and gently stripped the fabric off the canvas and easel. Slowly, the portrait was revealed.

Silence hung in the room like a damp towel for a beat. You walked around and saw a clear reaction of shock on Oswald’s face.

Oz was speechless, his jaw hung open, and his eyes were widen like saucers.

For a moment, you became self-conscious of your work…what if..he didn’t like it?

“W-Well…what do you think, Ozzie?” You asked trying to null the silence.

Oswald is trying to find the words. He shook his head and smacked his jaw open and close trying to make his tongue and lips form words.

“I-I-I…Is-Is that...me?”

“Of course, darling.” You smiled brightly.

Oz walked closer to the easel. He admired every detail.

For once, he got to see himself and actually liked what he saw.

“Is…is this how you see me?” Oswald asked in a hush whisper, still not taking his eyes off the portrait.

“Yes, Ozzie. I hoped that…maybe even for just a moment, it would help you get a glance at how I see you. How I adore you, darling.” You walked up behind him and embraced him from behind.

You two stood in comfortable silence. You both admired the art and the presence of each other.

“You’ve absolutely outdone yourself, my dove.” Oswald chuckled. “I-I love it…I can tell you put your whole heart into. The heart that I love.” He turned around to face you.

Instinctively, you both leaned down and shared a sweet grateful kiss. When you slowly pulled away from the kiss, a question came to mind.

“Now, where should we display it?” You asked giddily.

Oswald laughed. “Oh there’s plenty of possibilities, my dove, but before we display it…I have one condition.”

You titled your head in confusion.

He chuckled heartily some more. “My portrait can’t be by itself! You must paint yourself so that they can go together! Yes, together forever, a beautiful love forever captured on canvas.”

Your heart swelled. Just when you think that Oswald couldn’t absolutely get more romantic.

“I’ll be sure to get right on it.”

#ri writes #btas penguin x reader #btas oswald cobblepot x reader #batman the animated series penguin x reader #batman the animated series oswald cobblepot x reader

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audioletter · 6 months

Text

Day Twenty-Nine: Formalwear (McShep for @spurious)

It was peak Woolsey to request everyone wear black tie formal for his birthday celebrations - the man did have a penchant for the finer things in life, after all, but John felt less like a human and more like a penguin in his tuxedo.

He pulled at the bow-tie, his hand playfully slapped away by a beautifully gowned Teyla. "Unsightly, John," she tsked, taking a small sip of champagne. "You can certainly deal with it for one night at Woolsey's behest, correct?"

John shuffled from foot to foot and groaned a little. "I'm just used to dress blues and haven't worn one of these -" he waved his hands down at his tux - "things since my wedding."

"It could be worse, you could be Ronon right now." They both turned to where Ronon was standing with Amelia, uncomfortably in his tux that had to be personally fitted by a tailor sent in from Colorado. "He looks very handsome, despite his reservations."

"Yeah well, he has that whole Ronon thing going on and…" the bluster went out of John suddenly. "Sure, if he can do it, so can I, and here's to Woolsey." He clinked glasses with Teyla, before looking around the room at the gorgeously clad Atlantis crew celebrating their boss.

"Everyone having fun?" Rodney's voice almost made John jump six feet in the air, coming up behind them and receiving a smile from Teyla in response. He stepped to stand between them and John - well, John tried not to Looney Tunes mouth-drop at how good Rodney looked in a tux.

"You - uh…you're late, where…penguin suits, hey?" John inwardly kicked himself, especially when Rodney fixed him with a quizzical look. "Oh, you wore one when -"

"I was on Earth with Jennifer, yeah," he finished, rolling his eyes and not looking at the direction of his ex-girlfriend who was dancing with Chuck at that very moment. "Still not my favourite form of clothing, but for Woolsey, right?"

"We were just saying!" Teyla beamed, and John sensed the tell-tale signs of Teyla-and-the-Champagne-Hitting-Hard. She could drink them under the table most days, but something about champagne affected her in such a way, it was almost cute. "I…think I'll go sit down with Miko for a bit, excuse me gentlemen." She departed with a wobbly bow, bizarrely, and Rodney chuckled.

"Champagne and Teyla," and John nodded, taking a swig and looking everywhere but at how distractingly good-looking Rodney was tonight. It was moments like these where John wanted nothing more than to drag him out on the balcony, tell Atlantis to open the lock to no-one but him and - well, that was a fantasy that was never going to happen.

"Attention, all!" Woolsey stepped up to the podium with his own glass, and John sighed, turning his attention to the birthday boy and away from the distraction of a human beside him.

—

Two hours later, and frankly, everyone was plastered, even usually stoic Ronon, who was currently making out with Amelia in a dark corner. John and Rodney, however, were simply tipsy; playing prime/not prime and rock, paper, scissors to kill time before Woolsey dismissed them for the evening.

"You know," Rodney said, nonchalantly as he presented scissors to John's rock, "you look really hot in that tuxedo."

John dropped his hand rock in shock, staring at Rodney like he'd said the most bizarre thing in the Pegasus Galaxy. Which, he basically had, and he cleared his throat. "Pardon?"

Rodney snerked. "You know you look good, Sheppard, don't deny it. I've only seen you in dress blues, and you look damn fine in those, but -" he shook his hand in preparation for another round of rock, paper, scissors (twice, because John was too shocked to follow suit) - "a tuxedo really - yeah."

"You uh…look really hot in your tux, too."

Silence fell between them, and a sudden electrical charge came through the air. "Yeah?" Rodney choked out, his cheeks going red. "I thought I looked fat and this seems to be choking me and it's so constricting -"

"You wanna get out of here?" John's desperation was fueled by lust, opportunity and champagne, but when Rodney's wide-eyed nod came back as a confirmation that something was finally going to happen between them, John wasn't going to let this pass him by for all the Johnny Cash bootlegs in the dual universes.

They made it to John's quarters - barely - before beginning a combative making out session; John knew Rodney was competitive but by the way he was kissing, it was like there was a race to be won that John didn't know about.

"Hey, Rodney, slow down - we've got time."

Rodney was still wide-eyed and shocked-faced, but he nodded, lips swollen from kissing. Kissing me, John thought, and he dived forward, pressing his mouth to Rodney's with less gusto but more meaning. "Can I…touch you?"

"Yes, please," and non-tipsy Rodney would have hated the whine he let out, but John didn't care, palming Rodney's cock through the smooth tuxedo material. Rodney was already semi-hard, John getting even harder at finally being tactile together, as Rodney began grinding into his hand. "More. John. More."

"Pants off?"

"No." Rodney's eyes were less wide now, and heavy with lust. "I want to do this with the tuxes on."

"A formalwear kink, whodda thunk," John smirked, undoing Rodney's fly and pulling down his pants and boxers past his ass. His cock sprung free, fully erect now, and John eagerly got down on his knees and looked up at Rodney expectantly. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah - Jesus, you look good down there."

John smiled, before taking Rodney into his mouth, short mouthfuls to begin with, teasing the head and licking the shaft as he learnt what Rodney liked. One thing he did learn very quickly - Rodney was vocal, his hums, groans and "yes"es almost certain to be heard out in the hall but frankly? At that point John didn't give two fucks.

"The bed," Rodney spluttered out as John released Rodney from his mouth. "I'm going to fuck your face if we don't lay down and - I don't - Jesus, John I never thought -"

It was almost like he'd said too much, the patented Rodney shutdown embarrassment face settling, and John got up, cupping Rodney's face in his hands and making him look him in the eye. "I want this if you want this," he muttered, kissing him almost chastely, and Rodney groaned against his mouth.

"I want this, just…I want it properly. Sharing, I don't know."

That could possibly be the hottest thing John's ever heard, from a man in a tuxedo no less, and he leads Rodney to the bed - smiling a little at the literal penguin shuffle he had to do to follow John there - and he laid down beside Rodney, stroking his face.

"Sharing is caring after all," and John took Rodney's mouth again, this time with an obvious meaning behind it.

#audiolettertober fic #stargate atlantis #mcshep #tuxedo kink #is now a thing apparently

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mymoodwriting · 2 years

Photo

2.8k, yandere, circus, manipulation, drugs, roleplaying, hypnosis

“When was the last time you were at the circus?”

“Uh… I don’t know when I was like eight?”

You really hadn’t gone to a circus since you were a child. You had vague memories of a family outing, mostly able to recall that you had a lot of cotton candy and got to pet an elephant’s trunk and ride a pony. Now that you thought about it, you hadn’t been to a circus since, and you never considered going to one.

“See, we should totally go.”

“Are you sure though? Clowns and animals. We could go to a zoo to see some animals, or an aquarium. See some dolphins and penguins.”

“Yeah, but like…”

Your friend handed over a flier they had taken from a wall or pole somewhere that talked about Stray Kids, a circus act coming into town. As you looked it over you could see why this was a suggestion at all. You’d expect circus clowns, and animals, and all kinds of acts on the poster, talking about how much fun the show would be. Instead you were staring down at eight really pretty boys dressed in black, clearly the main act, surrounded by fire and circus props.

“Woah…”

“I don’t think they’re a normal circus.”

“Yeah…”

“I did some research. They got a fire breather, and this dude that can supposedly fly, a magician, a hypnotist! This is definitely some kind of modern circus, we have to go.”

“Well…”

“I already got some of the other girls to agree, come on, let’s go.”

“Alright. I’ll go.”

“Yes!”

You did have to admit you were intrigued about this circus. It definitely didn’t look like what you remembered or what you had seen in TV shows. Besides, a bunch of pretty boys, you had to see them for yourself. When the big day came you and your friends met up to eat before heading down to the circus tent. There were plenty of people around, and everyone was excited for the show. You couldn’t help yourself and bought some cotton candy, some childhood memories coming to light. This was a place to have fun, and you felt you really would.

There were a few attractions outside the tent, something to keep busy until the big show. You and your girls eagerly went into the tent when it was time, a sweet smell of flowers filled the tent, already giving you good vibes. As the lights dimmed it got quiet. Then it all began. Music filled the tent and some of the minor acts appeared, and then in a puff of smoke the eight faces of the circus appeared in the center. The cheers began and they began greeting the audience, getting everyone riled up and excited for the night. In another flash everyone disappeared, leaving one boy alone in the center with the mic.

“May I have your attention ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Stray Kids, my name is Han Jisung, your showman for the night. We’re so glad to see you all came out here for us, and I promise you, you’ll enjoy the show. After all, ain’t nobody can do it like this.”

The show didn’t need to warm up the crowd and jumped right into the big acts. Jisung was soon joined by another boy, big smile and face full of freckles. He was introduced as Felix, their resident fire breather, and my gosh was it something to see. He wasn’t just some human dragon, but actually manipulated fire into taking on certain shapes. You swear all the girls swooned when he made a heart of fire, you included. Felix heated things up, but he was only the beginning. When Felix made his exit, Jisung returned with another boy, and they were both practically walking on air. The crowd filled with amazement.

The flying boy was Changbin, dancing around a bit with Jisung before he gently returned him to the ground, and continued his own show. Many circus props and other minor acts joined in, flying around the crowds and performing, leaving everyone in awe. You swear never touched the grown, and Jisung returned floating down from the sky, getting twirled around again before being set down. As he began to introduce the next act, everyone could see a third boy walking on air, although Changbin wasn’t as gentle putting him down.

Chan was just dropped down a few feet, falling to his knees, getting laughter from the crowd. He dusted himself off and introduced himself by having doves appear out of his jacket. Any good circus should have a classic magician, and that was him. His sleight of hand was impressive, and you knew you’d be trying to figure out how he did some of his tricks for days to come. Especially when he made a huge beach ball appear out of thin air and started playing soccer with the performer on stilts. He was wonderful, but the show must go on as Jisung said, making his return to center stage.

So far everyone had been enjoying the show, but Jisung felt some audience participation was needed to keep things exciting. From behind the crowds the next act appeared, a polite boy introducing himself as Jeongin, a psychic. The crowd was certainly intrigued. Jisung handed over the mic and things slowed down a bit, letting everyone relax. Jeongin picked some people out from the crowd, reading fortunes and speaking unspoken truths. Everyone who was chosen was amazed by his accuracy, albeit a few upset with the things he said, which made his talents all the more authentic. You were lucky neither of your friends, or you, participated in this act, cause who knew how it would end.

Jeongin merely took a bow and gestured towards the entrance to the back just as Jisung returned, having predicted his entrance. Maybe that was staged, but the time was still good. Jisung asked for applause as Jeongin made his exit. Everyone had been having a good time, but a small intermission was necessary for the talent and for everyone else. He said it was a good time to get some fresh air and more snacks. They would return in a moment. Of course there was still some entertainment, minor acts like a juggler and some aerial acts with ropes.

After the intermission Jisung returned to center stage welcoming everyone back. As he began to introduce the next act a small bucket of popcorn was thrown at him, interrupting. A spotlight suddenly lit up a boy in the crowd, everyone soon realized he was one of the Stray Kids, no one around him was sure when he got to his seat, and didn’t even notice he was one of the acts for the night. This boy introduced himself as Hyunjin, making his way to the center stage, although as Jisung tried to leave Hyunjin grabbed his arm.

The two stared at each other as Hyunjin convinced him to stay and participate in his act. Jisung let out a nervous chuckle, but Hyunjin was clearly a bit of a sweet talker. He wrapped an arm around Jisung, putting his attention on the crowd, asking if they wanted to see his show. Everyone cheered excitedly, and he basked in it all. He asked Jisung if he was having fun, and if he had eaten. Jisung admitted he hadn’t, too busy making sure the show continued without issue. Hyunjin suggested a break, grabbing the bucket of popcorn on the floor and spilling out what was left before picking up some popcorn kernels and putting it back in.

“Here. A light snack.”

“Hyunjin…”

“You’re hungry, aren’t you?”

“Yes…”

Han reached into the bucket and took a handful of popcorn, shoving it into his mouth and chewing it up. Everyone watched on in shock, there was no way the showman had just eaten popcorn from the dirt floor. Jisung chewed with a smile as Hyunjin told him it was good, and the boy even opened his mouth to show he had swallowed every bit. Hyunjin smiled and kissed his cheek, Jisung seeming to shake a bit before asking what happened and why he tasted dirt. Hyunjin merely laughed.

“Hypnosis is very real Hannie, I’ve told you many times before.”

“You did not!”

Jisung started spitting, trying to get the taste of dirt out of his mouth. He made his way to the back, a bottle of water poking out of the curtains for him to take as he disappeared. The crowd was still in disbelief over what had happened. It was gross, but mesmerizing as well.

“So, who wants to go next?” Hyunjin scanned the crowds. “How about the lovely lady right there.”

You pointed at yourself as a spotlight hit you, seeing Hyunjin nod his head and walk over to you, holding his hand out. All your friends gave you looks and shoved you to move. You were still in shock but took Hyunjin’s hand, stepping down and following him to the stage.

“What’s your name love?”

“Y/n.”

“Beautiful. Tell me, do you believe in hypnosis?”

“Uh… I’m not sure… but I’m open to see.”

“Good, good. Makes my job a little easier. So, how do you want to do this?” Hyunjin asked. “Will you follow my sweet words, or shall we do this with a classic pocket watch?”

“Whatever works best for you.”

“Hm, I like that.”

Hyunjin was so close to you, and you could not believe how beautiful he was. His smile was precious and his eyes just captivated you. As you stared at him you could feel yourself losing focus. You heard soft mumbles, perhaps words, but nothing was really registering. Your vision became glassy and you felt like you were floating. Only one thing was clear in that haze.

“Good girl.”

You were moving, you could feel it, but you weren’t connecting anything else. It kinda felt like you were in this state for eternity, but eventually there was an end. As your vision began to clear up everything came into focus. You found yourself on your hands and knees, tongue sticking out and panting like a dog. You quickly stopped and got up, dusting yourself off. You felt embarrassed but Hyunjin assured you that you did well. The crowd clapped, Hyunjin taking your hand and having you join him in a bow. He thanked you for your participation and hugged you. The crowds applause was still loud, but you swear you heard a soft whisper.

“Come see us after the show.”

Hyunjin escorted you back to your seat, Jisung returning, chugging some juice as he told Hyunjin to get off stage. He started talking loudly and trying to cover his ears as Hyunjin approached him before disappearing to the back stage. Your friends immediately swarmed you with questions, but you had some of your own. They did not hesitate to tell you that Hyunjin basically turned you into a dog and had you do tricks like sit and stay and speak, for everyone’s amusement. You felt even more embarrassed, but also in disbelief. It seemed hypnosis was real.

The next act was introduced, a lovely boy that went by Seungmin. He thanked Jisung and asked the crowd how everyone was doing. One great show after another had kept everyone happy, and this one would certainly add to it. Seungmin had many join him on the stage, suggesting they join him in dance. He started off with simple movements, dancing along to the little live music provided, but as he went on things got more complicated. It seemed some of the volunteers were amazed their bodies were responding to Seungmin’s commands, following him to perfection as the danced along.

He didn’t need sweet words to get you to do what he wanted, but this was definitely a lot more fun for many of those who had come tonight. A wonderful dance number to help wrap everything up, but of course Seungmin wasn’t the last act. As he had his dancers dance to return to their seats the final act appeared. He needed no verbal introduction as a small display of fireworks spelled out his name, Minho. It was a beautiful show to end things on. As he danced and more fireworks appeared out of thin air, seemingly under his control. It was a fireworks show like no other, ultimately bringing back all the cast members for a final bow. It had been an amazing night and your group was all chatter about the show.

“I’m glad we came, this was awesome.”

“Right, but I am so exhausted.”

“Same.”

“Me too.”

“I’m gonna get more cotton candy.” You said. “So you guys get going. I’ll see ya later.”

“Night.”

“See you.”

You waved to your friends, seeing them off, and then going back to get some cotton candy. Just as sweet, and then you started wandering around. Somehow you wound up back in the tent, walking up to the center. With the place empty you could feel how enormous it really was. Even if you had been up there for the show the memory was pretty hazy. Then you started hearing voices.

“I cannot believe you made me eat dirt!”

“It was popcorn.”

“From the floor!”

“There wasn’t much dirt on it anyway.”

“You’re gross.”

“I wanted to have fun, and everyone enjoyed it.”

“I didn’t.”

“Well, I got something to make it up to you.”

“What?”

“Uh… hello…”

Without really meaning to you followed the voices and wound up in the back of the tent, seeing the main acts cleaning up. You probably shouldn’t have said anything either and left but you couldn’t really stop yourself. It went quiet when you spoke, all eyes on you, making you very nervous.

“There she is.” Hyunjin walked over and wrapped an arm around you. “This is y/n, our good girl from the show.”

“Ah, you chose her?”

“What? Not pretty enough?”

“Oh she’s very pretty.” Jisung walked up and took your hand, kissing it. “Hello.”

“Hi…”

“Did you enjoy the show?”

“Yeah… it was incredible…”

“I know. We are. Would you like to join us for the after show?”

“After show?”

“Yup. Just for you.”

You were surprised when Jisung’s lips moved up to yours, kissing you passionately. You didn’t kiss back, very shocked over that, and your mind running with the possibilities of what this meant. Although you never really got to speak your mind.

“Good girl.”

A soft smile began to appear on your face, suddenly seeing the world through a rose tinted lens. Hyunjin nuzzled your neck before pushing you into Jisung’s arms.

“Shall we?”

“Yes…”

You vaguely noticed the other boys following you, even though you had no idea where you were going. It didn’t matter though, there was a warm feeling inside you, so you knew everything was going to be okay, and you were going to have a good time.

♥♥♥♥♥

“How much did we make tonight?”

“A lot.” Jeongin said. “As always.”

“Nice.”

It was hours after the show at this point, and they were all gathered in the tent, just winding down and counting their profits for the night. Soon they would have to start packing everything up and getting back on the road. They had a show in a few days a couple towns over. Still, it was important to relax.

“And how’s the kitty?” Minho asked.

“She’s in the back with Seungmin.” Chan said. “He’s teaching her some new tricks.”

“Shouldn’t we send her home already?” Felix wondered.

“I think we should keep her.” Jisung suggested. “She’s a lot of fun.”

“A new act?”

“Who said anyone else gets to see her?”

“She wasn’t alone tonight.” Hyunjin reminded. “She had some girlfriends with her.”

“Easy enough to deal with.”

“Come here kitty.” Everyone suddenly heard Seungmin entering the tent. “The hyungs want to see you.”

The boys looked over to see you wearing very little clothing, a pair of cat ears on your head and a tail swing behind you. Your eyes were still glassy, and you were happily meowing as you followed Seungmin.

“A beauty indeed.” Changbin commented. “I like our kitty.”

“Me too.”

Seungmin had you climb up on the table, knocking some money to the floor. You tried to be careful, but any sense of caution flew out the window the second Chan pet your head. You whined and leaned towards him.

“Well, we do collect strays, don’t we?”

“Should we give her a new name?” Jeongin asked.

“Does it matter?” Hyunjin said. “We can just call her ours.”

Jisung got up and went over to you, grabbing your chin so you would look up at him. You giggled and offered a big smile, meowing again. The others gathered around too.

“Welcome home, kitty.”

428 notes · View notes

layla4567 · 8 months

Text

WANDAVISION AU (EP 2)

WARNINGS: MENTION OF VOMITING

previous part (1)

You and Adam were getting ready to sleep in the same shared room in his house, the only difference is that you slept in one bed and he in another. You wore a pretty ankle-length silk nightgown with a matching robe and Adam had on a cute striped pajama set. Your husband had grabbed a book to read and you were about to turn off the light on your nightstand when a noise in the window startled you both.

"Honey, what was that?". You asked frozen in place

Adam looked up from his book "I don't know, dear. Maybe it was the wind"

You crossed your arms with a frown. "Adam." He looked at you. "We are in the middle of summer, the only wind that can be there is that of the air conditioning"

*laughs*

"I think someone should go see." you sighed

Adam nodded and stared at nothing, doing nothing, you kept your arms crossed and you stared at him with raised eyebrows. He looked at you confused and you tilted your head to which he shrugged, it seemed like an absurd staring contest. You huffed in annoyance and took a quick glance out the window to then look back at him.

"Oh you mean me!". Adam exclaimed in great surprise as if he had discovered America as you put a hand over your face covering your eyes.

*burst of laughs*

"Yes dear, I'm too scared to find out. You are a strong and brave man". you said blinking with dreamy eyes

Adam beamed proudly and jumped out of bed, chest puffed out, walking briskly to the window.

"My hero..". you sighed in love

But when your husband was going to open the curtain, the blows were heard again and this time stronger, they seemed to have a particular rhythm as if it were Morse code. Adam jumped in fright and ran back to his bed, covering his face with the sheets.

"How brave..". you said ironically

*laughs*

"Darling I think that's not the wind". He said

"And now, what are we going to do?". You raised your hands to the sky in despair and frustration

Adam was going to answer something when a blow as if something glass had crashed against the window startled them both, they both screamed in fear and you waved your hands from fear joining the beds with your magic. When the noise stopped you two realized what you had just done subconsciously. Adam looked at you with a lopsided smile and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, he couldn't help but teasing you

"My love, if you wanted to hug me you just had to ask"

You smiled mischievously. "Oh please, I need my brave man to protect me"

They both scurried under the sheets while you snapped your fingers and turned off the lights.

*Uhh and ohh from the audience*

★・・・・・・★

The next morning, being the good Samaritan that Adam was, he decided to organize a magic show for the neighborhood, and you, of course, would be his loyal and beautiful assistant. Adam was adjusting his navy blue bow tie wondering if he didn't look very ridiculous while rehearsing his speech.

"Noble ladies and noble gentlemen!…No, not like that… Human ladies and gentlemen! Ugh what are you saying Adam? of course they are all humans, ok again. Ladies and gen-"

*laughs*

"Adam?"

You called out to him, approaching him from the hallway, but when you saw him dressed in a tuxedo suit that made him look like a penguin, a bow tie that was too tight and a black top hat on his head, you stopped short and put a hand to your mouth trying to useless to hide the smile.

"Please don't laugh, I look like a clown, I know"

You frowned, shaking your head as you approached him and put your hands on the lapels of his suit, adjusting his bow tie.

"Don't say that, you look handsome and adorable at the same time." You pursed your lips to give him a short kiss.

"Is that possible?". He said smiling sideways, lost in your gaze.

"If it's about you, anything is possible sweetheart". You wrinkled your nose smiling.

You watched as Adam's golden face took on a coppery hue as he looked down in shame and played with the fabric of his gloves.

"Would you like to tell me what exactly you are preparing?". You asked him as you put your hands clasped behind your back ready to pay attention to his words.

"Oh sure! Look, I've decided to create a little magic show for the neighbors to entertain themselves. I think that here on earth not as many things happen as in Knowhere so a little magic will put a smile on their boring faces"

You laughed at his explanation, sometimes Adam spoke and interpreted things…in his own way. But that didn't bother you at all, on the contrary, you considered it charming.

"It seems perfect to me, love. But I suppose you would have thought about an assistant, right? Every magician needs a helpful assistant". You said with a big smile while you put one hand on your hip and the other up to your head, making an elegant and flirtatious pose while you looked at him knowingly.

"Oh wow I guess I didn't think of that" Adam put his index finger on his chin thinking without paying you much attention"I wonder where I could get one"

Your entire pose deflated as you huffed in annoyance. He looked at you strangely. "I was talking about me, Adam!"

"Oh yes of course!" He snapped his fingers, smiling happily with the satisfaction of someone who solves an intricate riddle, then he looked down at your sullen face and became serious. "Sorry." He said, smiling embarrassedly, shrugging his shoulders.

*laughs*

"Anyway". You said, making a gesture with your hand like someone shooing away a fly. "This afternoon I will be very busy shopping and having tea with Mantis and Nebula. Today they are coming to visit and I won't keep them waiting. Bye!" You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and ran out the front door.

Adam was perplexed watching you disappear through the door in a whoosh.

"Sometimes I don't understand women." He said frowning

*more laughs*

★・・・・・・★

Mantis and Nebula arrived just on time as agreed. After traveling in stealth mode on the common ship, they left it in an empty field full of grass hidden from everyone's sight, the civilians could still be a little susceptible to the alien technology.

"(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N)!!!". She shouted, running to hug you and clinging to you as if she were a monkey, you thanked her for her warm greeting, you missed that.

Nebula followed behind her, rolling her eyes. "It's good to see you too (Y/N)"

Mantis didn't leave you until Nebula dragged her back with a jerk, huffing.

"Sometimes you're a pain in the ass, you know?"

*low laughs*

"Me? Oh c'mon! Now showing my feelings in an emotional way is a pain in the ass for you?". Mantis turned around offended.

"You spent the entire trip on the ship screaming like a mouse and bothering me with your nonsense and you kept asking when we were going to arrive!". She pointed a finger at her chest, tapping, to which Mantis slapped her hand away.

"Well that's preferable to being a cold stone with legs like you!!". Mantis Screamed

"Ha ha ha." She laughed sarcastically. "Please, at least I don't stick to people like a tick."

The two girls were facing each other a few centimeters apart, spitting hatred. The fight was escalating as they raised the tone and I wasn't liking it. It couldn't be possible that they barely arrived and they were already fighting

"ENOUGH TWO!". You screamed as you stood in the middle of them and pushed them away with both of your hands on their chest. They looked at you in amazement, you had never yelled at them before.

You realized what you did and blushing, you straightened yourself, straightening your clothes while raising your chin as if nothing had happened. "I'm sorry". You cleared your throat. “Could you please stop fighting for a moment and be good for once?”

"Only if she apologizes." Nebula snorted like a caged rabid animal.

"Fine, so you can see that I am a person aware of his actions. I'm sorry"

Nebula crossed her arms looking towards the grass, Mantis was waiting for her apology impatiently.

"Come on Nebula, do it for me." You made puppy eyes while Mantis did the same, standing next to you, both looking at Nebula.

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and then opened them. "I'm sorry, are you happy?" She muttered under his breath

"Very much, thank you!" You took her arm and squeezed it tenderly, she just made a disgusted face. It was her way of showing love and you knew it. The three of you linked arms and walked towards the nearest stores.

The city had many stores with very nice clothes. You were looking for an outfit to present yourself as Adam's assistant. You wanted something simple but elegant, something like a red sequin bodysuit and a cute little top hat. Maybe also some gloves that match the outfit and a pearl necklace, why not? The girls helped you with everything, well, it was really only Mantis who helped while Nebula sat bored on a stool looking at everything with tiredness and indifference.

"(Y/N) Look at these shoes! Aren't they cute?"

"Oh they are perfect Mantis dear, thank you!"

Mantis, always so helpful, smiled pleased. She looked like a kid in an ice cream parlor. She looked and touched everything as if she were seeing it for the first time, although in fact, it was her first time in a clothing store.

"Why don't you take something? Don't worry, I'll pay for it." You said, laughing at her somewhat childish behavior.

Mantis's eyes widened, causing her forehead to wrinkle slightly as she opened her mouth slightly. Then she screamed, startling a woman who was about to change in a dressing room. Mantis again ran to hug me and thank me at least 50 times.

Nebula crossed her arms and was already rolling her eyes again in growing bad mood. "Can we go now?"

*laughs*

★・・・・・・★

Meanwhile Adam practiced his magic tricks in the backyard without much success.

"Come on Adam focus, you can do it. You are a sovereign"

He tried to cheer himself up to no avail. His grunting and mumbling were so audible that a neighbor who was outside in his yard heard him and poked his head over the wooden fence in curiosity.

"Oh please! Why is so difficult?. He exclaimed impatiently

"What's difficult?"

Adam stood up embarrassed and turned his head towards where the voice came from. He tried to demonstrate a mature posture. "Oh, I didn't know I had viewers. It's nothing, I was just trying to do a card trick."

"I get it, you can't find the right card, right?". The man smiled understandingly.

Adam made a confused face, squinting his eyes. "What? No! I can't shuffle the cards, I've been trying for half an hour!". The sovereign pursed his lips as he futilely tried to shuffle the cards, he did so with such speed and force that they slipped through his fingers and ended up on the grass.

*burst of laughs*

The neighbor looked at him with a confused smile. "You're Adam, right? My name is Robert, I'm your next-door neighbor. We moved a few years ago." He stretched out his hand over the fence for him to shake.

Adam shook it smilingly. "Nice to meet you"

"Sorry if I intrude, but wouldn't you like to have something? I have one of the best whiskeys in the county." He said modestly

Adam looked surprised, but he didn't want to be rude so he accepted.

"Perfect, see you at my house in a minute"

Adam smiled with a frown as they said goodbye. Whiskey? What the hell was that? I'd have to ask (Y/N) when she gets back.

*laughs*

★・・・・・・★

"Mantis, that faux fur jacket looks fantastic on you!"

"Thanks!". Mantis moved elegantly, twirling like a princess as they walked towards a tea house.

"It's also not a big deal…" Nebula said

"Uhh it seems to me or is someone jealous?". Mantis said, lengthening the last letters while pointing at her with a finger and a malicious smile.

Nebula grabbed Mantis's finger tightly making her squirm a little. "If you point your finger at me again, I'll break it."

"Understood, you don't need to say it twice." She said quickly going to shield herself next to me away from Nebula.

*laughs*

They soon arrived at the nice place and ordered their drinks. A green tea for Nebula, a strawberry tea for Mantis and you ordered a chamomile tea, you were going to order a different flavor but for a while you had a strange tummy ache. Let's see if the tea calmed it down a little.

"So? What's life like here on earth with Adam?" Mantis asked with eyes shining with excitement as he stirred his tea with a spoon making noise.

"Is incredible". You paused to blow on the tea and drink it in small sips. “I missed home a lot, and Adam seems to adapt to the environment quite well.”

"So Adam, tell me. Have you ever tried whiskey?"

Adam swallowed loudly, how could he tell him he didn't even know what it was? "No sir, never in my life"

"Please be familiar with me, we are already friends." Robert said smiling as he went to get the alcoholic drink.

"Umh o-okay S- Robert". He said nervously

"(Y/N) Where are you when I need you?" He thought

"Oh how wonderful!" Mantis smiled, clapping happily. "You make a beautiful couple, I'm very happy for you."

"Thank you Mantis, the truth is that he makes me very happy." You smiled tenderly when you remembered your husband.

"Pfft, I still can't believe that of all the men on the planet you decided to marry that golden airhead."

Mantis turned her head sharply to look at Nebula with a rather disapproving frown.

"Excuse me? FYI Adam is much more than a pretty face. He is very capable"

"Alright, here it is. The best whiskey in the house. It dates back to 1915!" He said pointing to the date proudly

The golden boy leaned further over the table to admire the bottle with curiosity and confusion. He inspected it as if he had in front of him the strangest species of plant he had ever seen.

"What's wrong?. He laughed. "Yeah, I know the bottle has a unique design but it's not that big of a deal". He laughed harder again

Adam quickly looked up a little embarrassed at his neighbor. I didn't want him to think I was a fool for never having seen a bottle of…whatever that was. How was it? whisly?

"I understand that sometimes he may seem clumsy and scatterbrained, but he is smarter than you think apart from having a big heart." Mantis looked at you attentively and nodded at everything, Nebula looked at you suspiciously.

"Well Adam, you're about to try the eighth wonder of the world."

"Yaay…" He murmured without enthusiasm

*laughs*

Robert finished filling the small glass and clinked his glass against Adam's, who looked at him in surprise.

"Today I toast you, neighbor. Cheers!"

Adam looked at the glass and its copper-colored, almost amber contents with suspicion. Then he smelled it and frowned in disgust. But he told himself that he couldn't be rude to his neighbor, so he put the glass to his mouth and swallowed it in a flash, throwing his head back. It was a bad idea. Adam opened his eyes wide and began to cough as if he were having convulsions, feeling like his throat was burning in hot and painful flames.

Robert patted him on the back, laughing lightly. "Whoa dude, are you okay? This drink is not for weak stomachs."

After they said goodbye, Adam felt a little dizzy and walked home like a dizzy duck. Before entering the door he greeted a dog that was lying sleeping with its head resting on its front paws. Adam had mistaken him for a boy. The dog just raised his head in curiosity.

Adam stumbled in, tripping over his own feet. Oh boy. He hoped you wouldn't find out about this.

★・・・・・・★

You said goodbye to your friends but not before telling them that you invited them to today's show and you returned home happy, except that discomfort in your stomach had not gone away. "How odd". Thought. "Have I eaten something spoiled?"

You closed the door with your keys jingling in your hand. "Adam! I'm back honey!"

You looked everywhere looking for him but you couldn't find him. Worried, you went to your formatory to see if he was there. He wasn't there either. You left your bedroom with a frown when loud footsteps coming from the backyard caught your attention. They were irregular stomps, like a baby learning to walk.

"(Y/N)! You're back dear!". Adam exclaimed with his arms open, approaching you, staggering as if he were on a boat in a storm.

Out of shock, you dropped the keys and froze in place while he hugged you and lifted you up to his level. His arms pulled you away from the floor and tightened around your body like they were clamps. Sometimes you forgot how strong he was.

"S-sweetie... I can´t-". You said half choked

"Oh yes, yes, I'm so sorry!" Adam gently placed you back on the ground as you took a deep breath.

*burst of laughs*

Adam smiled, still wobbling slightly as if he had lost his balance, and approached you to give you a kiss. At that moment you placed a finger on his lips and turned your face away while you closed your eyes in a reflex action.

"Adam.. why do you smell like alcohol?". You said slowly as his breath knocked you out.

"Oh that, yes. A neighbor gave me a glass of…of.. well I don't remember the name of the drink but it started with "W". He was very nice but the drink was disgusting, I don't remember that man's name either. "Bobby? Rudolph? .. anyway it's not that important" He said laughing with piggy noises.

My God, he was delirious. Probably because of the alcohol. You grabbed his cheeks with both hands, inspecting him worriedly. He just looked at you with the eyes of a slaughtered lamb trying to focus his vision.

"Oh sweetheart, now what are we going to do with the magic show?"

Adam looked at you blankly for a second with a frown and then raised his eyebrows. "Oh the magic show, right. Don't worry, I have everything under control."

Then he moved away from you a little and put his hand in his suit pocket "You'll see how I can get a handkerchief out of here." He smiled and when he tried to take his hand out of his pocket he got stuck and was struggling until he almost broke the suit until he managed to get his hand out but without anything in it. "And the handkerchief, where is it?" He look everywhere, turning like a dog chasing its tail.

You did a facepalm sighing

The big day arrived and everyone was waiting, sitting in the square, including Mantis and Nebula. Behind the velvet curtain, you peeked, opening it slightly to see how many people had come. There were many. Many people who would see the show and many people who would later laugh at Adam's drunkenness. You walked from side to side nervously with big, long steps, putting a finger in your mouth, biting the nail. It was an ugly habit, but you were too anxious to avoid it.

Suddenly Adam appeared walking with his typical unbalanced steps, holding on to the handrail of the stairs.

"Finally!" You ran to help him, putting his arm over your shoulder for support.

"Are you sure you can do this?". You asked worried

"Of course love, trust me. I can do it."

No, he can't. You soon found out.

To begin with, Adam hiccupped onto the stage and got tangled in the curtains. You broke out in a cold sweat trying to force a smile.

"Hello my friends!! Are you ready for some magic?? The audience nodded and cheered. "Now I present to you the pretty magician and I her assistant!"

The audience looked at him confused. You approached him "Darling, it's the other way around."

"Oh yes sure, sure"

From her seat, Nebula laughed heartily like she had never done before. Mantis elbowed her in the ribs, which made Nebula look at her with a frown.

“Don’t be mean, poor Adam and (Y/N).”

"What? Don't tell me it's not funny? I don't miss this for anything". She continued laughing mockingly

★・・・・・・★

The show was a disastrous but fun chaos, in the end people were laughing but they had a good time. All the shame and humiliation went away and you also started laughing funny. When you finished and said goodbye to everyone, you and your husband returned to your sweet home. Luckily, the drunkenness had already left Adam's statuesque body

You entered your house sighing tiredly, you felt weaker than normal and that horrible pain in your stomach had grown. Adam changed his clothes while you massaged your belly with a grimace.

"Looks like we were a success today, huh? Despite, well, you know…I rapologize about that, by the way"

You tried to smile but it was more of a grimace of pain as you closed your eyes with a whimper.

"Hey, my love, look at me. Are you alright?". He cupped your cheek with a worried expression

"I don't think I'm feeling well." You retched and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

Adam followed you with his eyes, not knowing what to do. When you came out your hand was still on your belly but now you were pale and serious, a little scared.

"Adam…"

"Yes? What's wrong?" He swallowed loudly as he took your hands and squeezed them protectively.

"I think I'm pregnant.."

*Ohh*

He gasped and brought a hand to your belly, which now looked more swollen than before. "Will I be a father?" A shy smile appeared on his lips.

"So it seems, honey." You smiled with moist eyes as you stood on your tiptoes to kiss him tenderly.

*awww*

★・・・・・・★