#and tbh there wasnt enough for my liking i need MORE of him. immediately. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wulvert · 1 year

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TUMBLR DELETED MY ENTIRE ORIGINAL MUNDANE FACTS ASK IM SO. ##########. I HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS LOST 2 MY POOR MEMORY. anyways sorry i got distracted writing a pokemon dnd campaign. happy weed day!! nd paperteeth day woooo!!! i wish u luck in ur drawing!!!!! nyways heres um. A Lot Of Questions:

HAS AVERY NOT,,,CONSIDERED BUYING CUTLERY THAT ISNT SILVER,,,

does avery have a preferred alcoholic beverage like scarlet or does she just. not rly care as long as it has alcohol content

do any of her 11 brothers have names or nah. if they do ur very brave i would collapse on my 6th google search of "1998 Boy Names"

ur knowledge of strange asmr continues 2 fascinate me as someone who listens 2 like. repairation/restoration asmr alone with no talking ever. nyways since asmr um. probably? didnt exist in 1998 how does scarlet get her 60% sharp 40% human vampire gf 2 finally rest so she herself can sleep,,,does she have 2 drag the tv in nd play vhs tape whale noises,,,does she start doing her own asmr on the spot,,,does she just. cuddle avery so strongly she cant move. WOULD,,,WOULD SHE JUST WRAP AVERY IN COUNTLESS BLANKETS 2 IMMOBILIZE HER ND THEN SLEEP WHILE AVERY STRUGGLES OUT OF HER COCOON,,,

did avery immediately take agnes in upon finding that beast in the bin or was it like. agnes kept harassing her daily and before she knew it or could resist the bin demon wormed its way into her heart nd she adopted her.

is the hand discoloration like. a blood...hunger? blood...thirst? blood...starved? i forgot the terminology. u get it. thing or is it related 2 having claws.

WOULD scarlet nd avery ever consider adopting a 2nd cat,,,that is also vantablack with blue eyes that definitely wouldnt be an inkitties reference,,,or if scarlet gave into her fears would they get like. another tarantula/reptile/fish like scarlet used 2 have before the Tragedy,,,

if avery ever stopped being embarrassed about simply existing would she knit even more plush creatures 4 scarlet,,,would she finally share her knitting tips nd they would knit more of them together,,,

is averys little vampire fangs phone charm real teeth that she kept from some (dead) guy or are they like. fake. also wht charms does scarlet have,,,

would scarlet wear those like. fake little clip on ear piercings 2 cope with the fact she cant get more real ones anymore.

THE...THE AVES INCIDENT???? WHAT DID SHE DO TO HIM.

miscellaneous rly specific question: can vampires get tattoos post-vampirism or would their healing ability just like. obliterate the ink or smthn. if they had a tattoo pre-vampirism does it forever stay in the state it was when they were turned or does it still like. fade over the years like tats usually do.

NOO RIP UR OTHER QUESTIONS- IF UREMEMBER THEM LMK THATS SO SAD

Sorry if my answers r even less ledgible than usual, my laptops still deceased and i cant use touchscreen keyboards very well for some rrleason and tbh i cant spell vry well

SHE DOESNT NEED 2 USE CUTLERY ANYMORE💪💪💪💪& her knives have handles :)

i think shes less specific abt it but probably prefers like colourful cocktails that dont taste of alcohol at all but obliterate you because u sip at 7 of them in a row but then again she probably likes to come off as someone who likes plain whiskey but she actually doesnt.

....they do not. i am still awful at names. i leave naming characters to the last minute- but imo they have a pretty like. idk old man naming convention. like ur gonna get ur edwards and georges rather than ur i literally cannot think of a name i would consider non old man ok whatever anyway.

i have a problem in regards 2 asmr. its like. i tap on things. all the time. anyway yea asmr wasnt a thing in then so probably just sits her in front of bob ross or makes her go on a 10000 mile run before dawn so shes tired out enough to just zzz as soon as her head hits the pillow. either that or yea def cocoon blanket method. she doesnt have to sleep just has to be immobilised. scarlet also does that as mentioned. they r cocoons. together. avery uncomfortable bc she needs to stretch her legs. but trapped.

probably absorbed agnes immediately and forgot about her job for like a day of blissfully washing fleas off a kitten. avery likes animals & wouldnt be able to leave her in the bin, and far too attatched to rehome. she keeps agnes to herself usually though and doesnt talk about her- (scarlet told avery to bring agnes over with her so she wouldnt be home alone (she wanted to pet the cat) (avery agreed bc she feels bad about abandoning her while she was dead for a week) (agnes is still in scarlets house)

discolouration from lack of blood!! vampires have fairly bad circulation as is. so extremities get a little corpsey after a while without any juice- it goes away with prolonged blood drinking though.

i think they would consider it but i also think agnes is a hater and wouldnt be happy about another cat- i think a little betta tank would b an option for sure- but scarlet would probably like to have a lot of pets in general :^)

she would for sure definitely, she probably has knitted kelly stuff before shes just shy about it. and eventually avery will be emotionally secure enough to share knitting tips 😌 proud of her

they are real teeth. from a person she murdered. probably the first vampire she killed, before she started at the lumber co so no need 2 turn them in for money.

scarlet probably has an obscene amt of little charms. the little smiley faces & the little scooby bracelets.

those little little ear cuffs maybe, shes probably most sad she doesnt have any helix piercings

a glare so foul

i wouldnt say so, itd heal up pretty immediately before you could even finish tatooing. which sucks- tattoos from before vampirism are now locked the way they were when turned, so even if the leg gets sawed off the leg'll grow back with the tattoo on it.

lmk if i missed anythingIwant my laptop back!!!!!

#asks

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insertdisc5 · 3 years

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Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

#ask tag #deltarune #deltarune spoilers #snowgrave spoilers

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Milk Bread

Oikawa!Reader x Ushijima

a/n: bahahaha oikawa would literally disown yall though

anon request: Hiii if your request is still open could you also do an Oikawa's lil sis!Reader x Ushijima please~ fufufufu

ushijima and i could go get our own farm and have our own cows and horses and uggghhh

this entire,,,,, fiasco was an actual accident

it all started when you were so hungry that you ended up eating tooru’s milk bread

you were part of the girls track team in seijoh and competitions were starting soon so the team has been making practice mandatory during lunch as well

this caused you to only be able to survive off of snacks rather than your normal bento so you were blazing hungry when you got home

and when you are hungry, you go on a rampage

your brother was staying later practice so he wasnt home when you arrived

the fridge door almost unhinged and out the window by how roughly and quickly you opened it

the only thing in there was bottles of water and vegetables and you were not hungry enough to eat freaking raw onions

then you searched all over the cabinets for anything edible until you stumbled upon a clearly hidden milk bread

you guessed that tooru hid it bc he knew either you or takeru would eat it but heh, he didnt hide it good enough

finders keepers, right?

and as long as he doesnt find out it was you, itd be fine

you giddily opened the bag and ripped off a piece before smiling at how delicious it was

but this was cut short

you were so caught up in your happiness with the food that you missed iwa and tooru coming home until you heard your brother scream

‘Y/N-CHAN!’

your eyes flew open and you froze, mid-bite

his eyes were wide and his mouth was agape as he watched you scarf down the rest of the bag quickly before dashing upstairs

but tooru’s shout for iwa-chan made the buff guy snatch you from the hallway despite you kicking and screaming at him to let go of you

‘IWA-CHAN NO!!!!!’

you yelled but he just tightened his hold on you

‘i bought oikawa that bag, y/n’

you pouted then crossed your arms

‘you bought it for an oikawa, not a specific oikawa though’

so tooru ordered you to go to his favorite bakery, which was all the way out there like an hour away, and buy him a dozen bags of milk bread

‘TOORU YOURE GOING TO GET FAT!’

*offended oikawa*

‘I BURN ALL OF IT DURING PRACTICE ANYWAYS!’

‘hm, explains why you have no cake’

y/n stop thats so mean !!!!

but doorkawa though

so there you were, shoving all of the stock they have in the store into the big cart

if someone were to walk by you right now, theyd stare at the cart then at you weirdly for being a milk bread addiction

and thats exactly what happened

ushijima went to the bakery bc tendou won a bet and demanded a milk bread from this specific bakery

so he was entering the building, a single milk bread in mind, when he saw you, literally shoving all the bags down with an arm into the cart

he paused, like 5 feet away from you, just watching as you continued to take all the bags they had in stock into the cart

but he just wanted one bag so he went up to your cart and wordlessly took a bag which you saw and caught his arm

‘um, excuse me, what are you doing?’

he gave you a stoic face

‘i walked 30 minutes for this bag of milk bread. im sure you can leave one for someone else’

you were about to retort when you saw who this guy was

ofc if your brother was oikawa tooru, youd know his hatred for the apparent ‘farmer idiot’ ushijima wakatoshi from shiratorizawa

the familiar eyes and the furrowed eyebrows

yep, this had to be him

‘you,,,, ushiwaka’

he nodded

‘yes. now if you’ll excuse me, ill be going’

but you again held him back

‘ushijima-san! take this-all of this! i dont need it anymore!’

you pushed the cart in his direction before bolting out the store in a hurry

now ushijima is known to predict almost anything that came his way

but never has he even THOUGHT that a girl would give him a cart filled with nearly 50 bags of milk bread

the store lady pushed the cart to the cashier and only did he finally snapped out of it when she told him the total

‘oh, um, you forgot this bag too’

what was he going to do with all of this bread?

you pedaled your bike home and when tooru saw you empty handed, he started shouting

but you just faked a pout

‘ushijima wakatoshi-san took it from me’

his ears turned red

and all he could see was red

i see RED! rED! ooOOhH rED!!!!

he got his phone out and dialed a number before shouting into it

‘YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS, IWA-CHAN! USHIWAKA-!’

ngl, you didnt really think that he would completely forget about it but he fell for it

you planned to use tooru’s hatred for him and just a single utter of his name could completely brainwash him from the milk bread stealing situation

‘MAYBE HES GOING TO BUY ALL THE MILK BREAD IN THE WORLD UNTIL I GO TO THE DAMN SHIRATORIZAWA! WHAT IF HES DOING THAT?! IWA-CHAN-!’

the entire situation completely slipped your mind a few weeks later and you even forgot that you met ushijima and left him a cart of the treats

but that was quickly remembered

similar to your brother, there was one day per week where you have no track practice so you found yourself in their gym at wednesday, just waiting for iwa and tooru to finish practice

you were just busy doing your homework and trying to help kyoken with all of his missed work when kindaichi shrieked from the side

‘ushijima wakatoshi!’

JAPONN

at the mention of his name, everyone turned to him and followed his line of sight where indeed, the tall farmer boy stood at the door

oikawa tooru was so shocked to see him and his nerve to show up at HIS TURF that he didnt say anything

‘hello. is oikawa y/n here?’

then all hell broke lose

tooru was screaming at you in betrayal

iwa was shouting and hitting oikawa to stop and holding him back from lunging at you

the others were yelling at how you knew this famous player

while kyoken just sitting there all chill

‘you know that guy?’

‘uh-well-kinda?’

‘nice’

you quickly packed up your stuff, confused and surprised, before bolting down the bleachers to the door where you grabbed ushiwaka’s hand to drag him away from the gym where tooru couldnt find you

you finally stopped by an alleyway about a street away from school and turned to him with scrunched eyebrows

‘ushijima wakatoshi-san! what are you doing here?!’

you whisper-yelled

but he just unzipped his gym bag and handed you a bag of milk bread

you were so caught off guard that you just held it on your hands and stared at it

ushijima noticed your expression and pointed at the food

‘i have a lot of it at home. i figured you wanted one’

you slowly looked up at him

‘ushijima-san,,,,, i,,, why-’

‘you seem to like milk bread seeing your cart full of it. i thought you still wanted one and i need to get rid of all of it anyways’

‘but,,,, you shouldnt have come all the way to seijoh! nii-chan-’

then you stopped

wait, hold on

how did he even know your name

‘how do you know my name, ushijima-san?’

he blinked

‘youre a known track runner in the prefecture in both the girls and boys. a friend of mine wanted to recruit you for the school team but you turned it down’

you paused and chuckled

‘ah of course. i actually wanted to go but nii-chan considered it a betrayal so i couldnt go’

‘but you should’ve come to-’

‘SHUT UP USHIJIMA! AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER!’

tooru’s figure was panting a little bit away from behind ushijima and he was pointing at him heatedly

you sighed and face-palmed but you flinched when ushijima placed an arm around your shoulders and held you close

‘she has talents that could take her to far places. i understand that she refused it but you might have greatly influenced that decision and never asked her opinion about it. im here to ask her to re-think this decision and join us instead’

‘YOURE NOT EVEN IN THE TRACK TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE!’

tooru raged and ran forward before grabbing your arm roughly to pry you away from the dirty touch of ushiwaka

‘we’re leaving, ushijima. and you better not talk to my little sister again’

he hissed and dragged you away but you turned your head and raised a hand

‘later, ushijima-san!’

‘SHUT UP Y/N!’

after that, ushijima knew to approach you in secret

you saw him by the gates after practice and you hurriedly hid him away from sight bc the moment someone saw that familiar purple jacket, theyd know immediately

‘ushijima-san! what do you want now?’

you whispered and again, he reached into his bag to give you a bag of milk bread

‘i need to get rid of them. and i also want to hear your opinions about joining shiratorizawa next year’

you laughed, softly clutching the bag

‘in truth, the bread was for nii-chan. and regarding next year, i dont think im leaving seijoh, ushijima-san, so sorry’

he nodded

‘i understand. but i do hope you will think about it, oikawa-san’

you cringed at the formality coming from someone as important as him

‘please, call me y/n. it sounds really weird from you’

‘okay, y/n-san’

‘no, just y/n’

‘y/n’

‘good’

then these meetings turned to another, then twice more, then everyday

it was becoming a routine at this point

track practice ended at 6, about 30 minutes before the seijoh volley so you could easily slip away from tooru, and ushi’s ended around 5 so he was able to meet you at the alley by your school

tbh, you didnt understand how you were meeting as such a shady place and you didnt understand why he would take such a long trip just to give you milk bread and ask you about the school

however, that soon changed

soon, you just talked about school and life in general while munching on food

he would occassionally talk about this first year goshiki and some setter shirabu and how they fought constantly

you knew a little bit of his best friend tendou and his dorm life back in shiratorizawa

he knew that you weren’t exactly in track for fun, but for scholarships since you werent exactly smart

part of you wondered if he used the dozens of milk bread in his house as an excuse to see you and make you eat them as compensation when he couldve just sent them back

yet eventually,

your conversations helped you know a little bit of each other without the title of fastest runner oikawa y/n or u-19 japan ushijima wakatoshi

‘tori accidentally broke a hurdle and sprained her knee so she had to sit out during practice. it was a mess because she was screaming about the pain and caused practice to end early’

you whined while chewing

he remained quiet so you turned to look at him, who was just staring at you

‘ushijima-san? you okay?’

‘waka,, toshi. call me wakatoshi’

you tilted your head to the side

‘i,, i can’t call you that, ushijima-san’

‘please, call me that. we’re friends, right?’

a genuine laugh escaped from you

‘oh dear. i mean, yeah, we’re friends, i guess. but nii-chan would not appreciate this friendship’

‘but doesn’t he like you having friends?’

he was confused as to why tooru’s even in the conversation

‘no, ushijima-san. i meant, he would not like me being friends with you’

‘why does he have a say in this?’

you paused

he was right

why did tooru’s opinion matter?

why did it matter so much that you’ve been hiding in this stinky alleyway with ushijima wakatoshi for a few weeks all because you were scared someone you knew saw you?

‘wakatoshi-san, do you have a brother?’

‘no’

‘hm, makes sense’

you laughed then looked away, straight at the dumpster that stood behind him a few feet away

‘my parents,,, are always working. even when i was young, they were constantly working so i dont really have good memories with them since they were rarely home. my sister, she was already in high school when i was born so the only person i really had was my nii-chan’

ushijima’s stare on you never wavered as he remained looking at you, inspecting you almost, the way your nose curved or your lips looked a little chapped or that crumb that stuck itself on the corner of your lip

‘he has always done everything for me,, in a way, he raised me and i appreciate everything hes done for me, yknow? and i want to repay him for all of that but im sorry to say this, but he doesnt exactly like you, wakatoshi-san. and me being friends with you, him not even knowing we’re meeting up like this, he would get very angry with me. and i dont to disappoint him’

you looked down at the remaining bread and softly sighed

it annoyed you a little that you cared so much for what tooru thought

why couldnt you live your life?

why couldn’t you just be your own person and meet people that you like?

‘we have only have 3 bags of milk bread left’

ushijima’s comment took you aback bc its not like you just told him something so personal or anything

‘huh?’

‘i need to buy some more’

you shook your head and waved your hands around

‘wakatoshi-san, i just told you, like, something really personal-’

‘but i dont care about all that though’

he blinked, confused as to why it mattered to him

‘what-’

‘y/n, havent you noticed that you’ve been calling me by my first name?’

his question made you stop and realize that you were saying wakatoshi

‘oikawa tooru is simply a person who helped raise you, he didnt make you nor does he have control over you. your life was given to you to live and create, not to be molded or shaped by someone else’

you nodded and patted his arm in appreciation, still awkward about having interactions with the guy

but he reached behind you and patted your back, averting his gaze forward

‘you have talent in track so i think you should keep running for a team that shares your skills. like your brother’s talents deserve to be played in a team full of undefeatable players’

you chuckled and shot him a confused glance

‘wakatoshi-san, youre over here telling me to do what i want yet youre telling me to do something else’

he seemed completely innocent to his hypocritical statement as he just looked at you

‘im just influencing you. theres a difference’

you shook your head and continued eating your bread, throwing the entire topic behind your mind

‘youre right, wakatoshi-san. we do need to buy some more milk bread’

little by little, you started to stray away from your brother

like you started coming home late and your wednesdays were now booked up with someone else

ofc he noticed and he went straight to iwa-chan to complain about it

by the second wednesday, he got fed up and actually cancelled practice which caused iwa to beat him up for stopping practice for something stupid

‘let your sister be, shittykawa!’

tooru pouted and rubbed the now sore spot on his head

‘somethings wrong, iwa-chan! i can sense it! shes hiding something and if its kept from me, of course i want to know!’

this led iwa to be dragged along with him as he followed you walking to somewhere

he remembered you getting flustered and smiling at him when you refused his offer to get ramen after practice with the guys

‘i have plans, sorry, nii-chan’

this caused oikawa to be very sus bc no tea, but he knows you dont hang out w other people outside school

so this led him to stalking you instead of talking and asking you like a normal adult

iwa was also there bc he lowkey sus and worried for your safety if oikawa does decide to lunge at your boyfriend

the two boys were huddled behind a car as you were just walking cheerfully, skipping every step

‘iwa-chan, she doesnt have a boyfriend, right?’

‘shes pretty and kind, it would be hard to believe she doesnt have one’

but as they continued to follow you, they started getting confused as to why you were walking in such an unfamiliar neighborhood

this wasnt exactly their turf and when they noticed a familiar looking uniform a boy was wearing as he walked down the street, oikawa almost busted a blood vessel

aw look at him tremble-

‘what in the ever-loving god of anime is she doing in shiratorizawa!’

he whisper-yelled

‘iwa-chan! is she transferring there?!’

‘shittykawa shut the hell up!’

you heard a familiar voice behind you and quickly turned around but saw nothing

you swear you heard hajime’s voice

but it couldve been just your imagination since you’ve heard him call that for nearly 6 years

you continued walking forward and you jumped to wave when you saw ushijima leaning against the school gates

‘wakatoshi-san!’

you greeted and he nodded, acknowledging your presence

‘y/n, you were late’

you giggled

‘why? did you miss me wakatoshi-san?’

‘hm, yes. the milk bread bakery is going to close in 15 minutes’

he said and held out his hand which you gladly accepted

tooru was basically strangling iwa by how he was so ANGY that his little baby sister was fraternizing with the enemy!!!

back on you though!!!

you still blushed when you held his hand but you knew there was nothing about it bc you ltr almost got ran over once

so basically,

you were finally opening up to going out in public w him as long as it was far away

and he suggested going to some ramen shop that they frequent at for some food

you were just walking side by side and humming a tune when you were interrupted by a loud honk that freaked you out and freeze

but ushijima, being a volleyball player and developing quick instincts, grabbed your shoulders and pushed you both to the side, away from the car

youve never had that experience before so you were quite freaked out and you were just hanging on to his jacket for dear life, hiding your face in it

he sensed your panic and placed a hand on top of your head to provide some comfort

‘its okay, y/n. dont worry bc ill always be there to protect you’

you turned red at that statement but ushijima was known to be very naive and he didnt understand that underlying suggestion in his words

‘thank you, wakatoshi-san’

you mumbled and he gently pried you away but he held your hand

‘this will allow me to pull you quicker and to make sure you dont wander too far’

you pouted

‘hmph, im not a child, wakatoshi-san’

he smiled, surprising you bc wowza was he showing emotions?

‘you need to be taken cared of, do you not? no matter what age, ill still look out for you’

to this day, he still kept your hand on his grip and your heart kept beating really fast

all these hangouts were really showing you the real ushijima wakatoshi that was so different from the court and you really liked it

from the strong and cold and cruel player to the awkward, funny, and naive schoolboy

he was an enigma and you were attracted to the remaining iceberg that maintained being hidden under the waters of his physical appearance

focusing on something else, you were tugging him along excitedly bc you forgot your bento at home today and you STARVED

‘lets get sweets!’

you cheered excitedly and with his hand still laced into yours, he looped it around your shoulders so he pulled you closer

‘semi told me he does this to his girlfriend when she gets too hyper’

um, sire, where did that come from?

from oikawa’s spot, he was starting to get hurt by how harshly he dug his fingernails in his palms while iwa was getting angry at how carelessly this farmer was handling his sister

but you werent bothered by his weird oblivious comments

‘im very hungry so we must hurry, wakatoshi-san!’

‘yes, yes’

unbeknownst to you, he kept looking down to observe your faces

when you would see a store, your eyes would widen and youd mumble about wanting to go there sometimes

when you saw a baby in a stroller, youd coo and unintentionally squeeze his hand

it was cute

and it made his heart jump every time

today was no different occasion

and he was finally able to put a pin into this weird action from his organ

lmao im so tired bruh im cackling as i type

earlier today during practice, he felt that jump when you whined to him about leaving your bento at home and expressing your excitement to get some food

that jump returned and he was so focused on texting you that he didnt notice his teammates watching him in shock

tendou even started hitting semi, confused and flabbergasted

‘ushijima-san,,,’

goshiki started but shirabu smacked him to be quiet

‘oh, i might not come to practice on friday since im going to the doctor’

the mention of the doctor, everyone freaked out bc they cant have their prized player injured or hurt

‘what,, whats wrong?’

semi asked and ushijima finally locked up his phone

‘im having weird random jumps in my chest and slight tickles in my stomach. google told me to go to the doctor if it persists so i made an appointment’

they all sweatdropped

goshiki uwu babie was biting his lip to stop himself from sobbing and thinking his senpai and rival was having an illness

but semi and tendou knew whats up

‘wakatoshi-kun, who were you texting?’

they all noticed the slight widening of his eyes and the sprinkle of light that shined through

‘oh, oikawa y/n. we’re friends now’

everyone shared a look bc he didnt really have friends outside the team and didnt bother himself with unnecessary relationships like these

‘oh god’

tendou mumbled and his grin widened

‘i,,im no doctor, ushijima-san, but i think youre experiencing the symptoms of a crush’

shirabu was basically the smartest than the others combined so when he said something like that, they believed him immediately

‘crush?’

ushijima wondered

‘dont tell me you dont know what that is’

goshiki muttered in disbelief

‘im familiar with the definition of the attraction to another person. but ive never experienced it myself’

yall why am i writing him to talk like this

‘youve been so busy with volleyball your entire life that you probably havent had time to actually admire the girls we have in school’

tendou reasoned so ushijima went to go wait for you by the gates and observed the females that passed by

nope, they all didnt strike him for anything

he just gave up until he saw you waving for him all enthusiastically and there it was

a simple glance at your smile and it leapt

it only got worse when you giggled and he clenched his fist to keep his heart from leaping out of his chest

the entire time, he felt it, especially holding your hand

to really be honest, he only did that after what happened and his mother used to do that to him to protect him from other cars

now that he had someone to protect, he was doing the same thing

you clearly didnt mind and just swung your hands along the entire time

eventually, yall arrived

the lady at the front was now accustomed by your appearances and she waved at you

‘hello ushijima-kun! oikawa-chan!’

you greeted her happily while ushi just nodded at her

your brother and his best friend decided it was best to stand outside to not garner suspicion ltr yall are stalking and everyone knows since the bell rang whenever it was opened

tooru felt his heart clench at the thought of you being on a date with this,,, !!!! farmer boy!!!!

the sister complex in this one is quite strong

it got even worse when he saw your giggling form and ushijima holding you close with your shoulders

next thing he knew, he entered the bakery and ripped you away from him

ofc you were surprised bc wtf why was here?

‘NII-CHAN?!’

‘oh, hello, oikawa’

^^ 2 types of people

‘didnt you hear me when i told you to stay away from my sister?’

he seethed

‘yes, i heard you. but i dont care’

‘wakatoshi-san!’

you whisper-yelled bc his answer clearly made your brother angrier

‘well, i need you to start caring bc you are not welcome to be a part of our family! i will never accept you as my brother-in-law! i will never visit! you hear me?!’

your eyebrows furrowed and you flushed in embarrassment

‘NII-CHAN! WE’RE JUST FRIENDS! WHAT ARE YOU SPOUTING ABOUT?! AND WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME?!’

he didnt bother to hear you and started dragging you by the arm

but you wrenched out of his grip and ran to ushijima, who held you close

‘hes my friend, nii-chan. i dont care if you dont like him but hes nice to me and he hasnt given me any reason to not be friends. now try to be a grown-up for just a few minutes and leave me alone so i can go hang out with my friend and you go back home with iwa-chan’

you firmly stated, glaring at him and tooru felt sad at this entire thing

were you growing up?

despite only being a year younger, you were always that ran to him for everything bc you looked up to him so much

but now, you were refusing and becoming your own person

you were still his baby sister but now, you were a grown woman who could make her own choices

and he had no choice but to accept that

‘okay. but come back home soon, okay, y/n?’

tooru’s quiet voice made your expression fall and you made a move to go to him but he already made his exit

‘nii-chan,,,’

you mumbled but ushijima placed an arm around your shoulders

‘you can go to him, y/n. we can-’

‘no. im,,, happy that he finally realized it. so lets continue’

you smiled up at him and he nodded, going back to looking through the cupcakes

‘how do you think hed take it if he finds out i like his sister?’

he off-handedly asks to no one but you heard and jumped

okay, you were used to his random comments and questions but this one had to be the one that took you aback the most

‘H-HAH?!’

but he doesnt seem bothered

‘my teammates told me that i have a crush on you so if i were to act on that feeling, would you accept me?’

your eyes flittered everywhere and you grabbed him by the shoulders and leaned him down to his level

‘ar-are you seriously confessing to me right now?’

he shrugged, so nonchalant

‘yes. before getting your brother’s approval, i should get yours first. will you let me be yours, oikawa y/n-san?’

your face scrunched up and you nodded, pulling him in for a hug

‘i like you a lot, ushijima-san. like a lot’

he softly smiled and buried his neck in your neck

‘i noticed when you didnt care about your brother’s dislike towards me’

‘yanno, for someone who is so against us together, hes the reason we even met in the first place’

he pulled away and looked at you

‘really?’

‘yep. i told you this, didnt i? i came for milk bread yet left with a boyfriend’

‘over a span of a few months’

you rolled your eyes but still laughed

‘yes, a few months and nearly a hundred bags of milk bread later’

the old lady was watching the whole thing and only made her presence obvious when she squealed

‘OH YOUNG LOVE! GET ANYTHING YOU WANT TODAY, DEARIES! WE SHALL CELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF NEW LOVE AND FOR MANY MORE!’

you and ushijima shared a look before busting out laughing, you freezing when you heard his chuckles

he noticed your stare at him and he asked you whats wrong

you shook your head before grinning

‘im already already looking forward to falling in love with you. so make me fall really hard, okay?’

you just unlocked blushy and flustered ushijima wakatoshi

when you went home that night with bags full of milk bread, your brother practically forgave you

but you accidentally blurted out of your new official relationship and you knew what he did?

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if i was gone for 2 days bc selling sunset came season 3 came out on friday !!!! but heres an update and i might post another later bc tomorrow’s my first day of school and id be too busy to update but id probably update in wednesday so feast on these in the meantime!!!!!!

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neverdoingmuch · 3 years

Text

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!!

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica.

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it.

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic.

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body.

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is.

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot!

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

#mdzs #modao zushi #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #im so sorry everyone #i just got the idea and it wouldnt leave me alone #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #have i read any erotica? no. have i read any chuck tingle? also no. am i an editor? no #so this is gonna be very shit #this is why people should be sending me prompts instead of me just writin shit myself #nsfw-ish?

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adonis-koo · 2 years

Note

🌻 omg let michael talk? 👀 i loveeee your relationship with your guide tbh 🤣 free entertainment 😁

HAHAHAHA okay but like?? Honestly I love Archangel Michael he’s my only celestial guide and possibly from multiple past lives as well, but I’ve just come to terms that he has absent dad energy 😭 mans only shows up when I call for him and even then he STILL doesn’t show up sometimes if it’s not imperative 🤣

I took a break on witchcraft for awhile back because work got busy and I hadn’t been keeping up on my studies enough to confidently keep exploring, and Michael basically gave me 1™️ task to do, which was quit my old job and like, I refused to do that for MONTHS and anytime I’d try to commune with him he’d fucking bulldoze my shit with the Tower and eight of swords and shit 😭 BUT recently after a long break I decided to light his candle because I realized I finally did what he advised I do and so I lit up his candle.

Immediately felt his presence, like his energy when it’s in full force is unmistakable. We’re vibing and I’m rambling on about what’s been going on and so like, I’m asking him, what’s the next step yknow? What does he reply with??? JUDGEMENT BECAUSE APPARENTLY YHE TOWER WASNT ENOUGH LAST TIME ITS JUDGEMENT NOW and for what??? FOR WHAT??? It was so vague that I sat there like what the fuck does that mean bro I just want to get published 😭 Ahhh I don’t interact with him as often anymore unless I need his advise on a situation but I do miss interacting with him more! You sending that ask is probably a sign I should start meditating again honestly lmaoo

#missy answers #witchy adventures #anon #emote game

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char-lotteral · 3 years

Note

I agree with Kishimoto never trying to use the girls. The hate they get is not fair. I used to defend Sakura back in the days because I hoped kishi would do her justice. When shippuden started I WAS SO HAPPY because I thought this was the start of something great for Sakura and the girls but NOOOOO. Every time, Sasuke showed kishi turned her brainless. If you compare Naruto's actions and Sakura's actions to sasuke, you'd see they're completely different. What's up with that weird fake love confession scene 😭? It makes her look like she was manipulating Naru. JEEZ.

Also he literally had badass Tenten and Temari with cool useful abilities and he didn't use them ?! TF ?! Thank god for modern authors who treat their characters with respect :)

okay2 you know how i am with these longass rants so click readmore and brace yourselves

The way I see it, Sakura's character development in shippuden was always one step forward, two steps back. She gets this really badass scene (like her fight with Sasori and those cool ass medical skills) but is then regressed back into a pining girl in love every time Sauce is on screen or Kishi just throws her in the background YET AGAIN.

I love Sakura's abilities actually. Her brute strength, intelligence, vast knowledge and skill as a medic nin. But what I dislike about her character is how kishi handled her feelings for Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura's obsession with Sasuke was so???? huh??? it was so damn toxic and i never once understood why both Nardo and Sak were so obsessed with him. They were a team for one year???? I mean its great that they care about him alot but Sauce's feelings were kinda valid. His freakin clan died. Id go batshit crazy against my own village too. BUT BESIDES THAT. Both Nart and Sakura's Sasuke obsession was so annoying. 80% of shippuden was literally Keeping up with the Uchihas or Naruto yelling SASUKEH. BUT what irks me so much is the fandom's double standards with both Naruto and Sakura. "Oh Sakura shouldve gotten over her Sasuke obsession" but then turn around and call Naruto's obsession cute and gush about how he's so in love with him!!

Hot take but the only reason why sasunaru is "the most developed ship with the most chemistry" is because theyre both male characters.

I guarantee you if Naruto was a girl and SHE would be the one to have this unhealthy obsession who was chasing around Sasuke, the fandom would shit on Naruto just as much. And if Sasuke were a girl, Sauce would be sidelined like the rest of the female cast and Naruto would have another male character to have a "brotherly bond" with, because thats the only bond Kishimoto is actually good at developing. Yey for male characters having all the screentime and cool assets <333

And about that confession scene, I get her intentions. I really do. I understand that she did that in order to bring him home and that she cares about him but honey, w-why?? Why lie to him about your feelings?? Supposed he DID believe her, then what? then what kishi???? huh??? Some of her fans point the blame on Sai or whatever but I personally dont see why that scene was at all necessary. Maybe to establish Naruto's feelings for her wasnt all that serious? or his maturity? idk man. That scene was such a clusterfuck.

In the end her development in The Last and in Boruto was immaculate. She had one of the best glow ups in the old gen and ironically enough, her character wasn't butchered in Boruto. She got badass scenes she was cheated from in shippuden. I also love how she's finally getting the spotlight she deserves. Unlike the other konoha 12 :,)))

Okay onto the next female character that Kishi completely wasted. My baby. My light. 🙈 AAAHHH HINATAA.

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN OKAY2 DEEP BREATHS.

Let me just establish this real quick. Hinata's goal was to get stronger because of Naruto, her goal was never to be with Naruto. She wanted to become someone who is worthy enough to stand beside him, someone whom he can consider as an equal, as a partner. She NEVER once said "marrying Naruto-kun is my all time goal UwU" (if youre one of those weirdos who interpret her character that way, youre immediately invalid, go take a hike)

I personally dont have anything against their crushes but to the point of making their personalities revolve around these guys every time theyre onscreen is so fucking frustrating. And with the way he writes their dialogues is so.damn.cringey. Like that one scene in the war arc with Tsunade and Madara

"I mAy bE a WomAn but I aM nOt WeAAKKKK"

BAAHAHAAHHA WHAT?? Everyone else gets coolass monologues and one liners but thats the best you can come up with Kishi?????? Hilarious.

If im being honest. Hinata's character is actually kinda well written. Not well executed. Dear God no. But with the way he set her story, her personality, her chracterization. She's honestly one of the best written female characters on the show. IMO. By Kishi's standards of writing women ofc. She's hands down one of the most complex characters. Her shy personality wasnt out of the blue, it wasnt a cutesy waifu trait. Her abusive upbringing made her that way. Her trauma turned her that way. So yeah, sue her if she looked up to Naruto as an inspiration when everyone else in her family treated her like dust. Shit on her for having Naruto's love light in her dark when her own damn father wouldnt even look her in the eye and her entire clan shunned her because she was "weak." She doesnt owe her family shit so idgaf what they do with the Hyuga clan. Neji and Hanabi aren't included btw

Im not gonna deny that her role in the show was only as the love interest but tbh for a love interest, Im glad her character wasnt so one dimensional. It just pains me SO MUCHHH how fucking wasted she is. Every time she's with Naruto, they always make her into a damsel in distress. They always feel the need to turn Naruto into the heroic prince. How cute.

LIKE THAT ONE SCENE IN THE LAST WHERE SHE'S THROWN IN THE CAGE?? WHY??? LET NARUTO AND HINA FIGHT THAT FREAKING ALIEN GOD TOGETHER. QUIT WITH THE TOXIC MASCULINITY. WE GET IT. NARUTO'S STRONG. GOOD FOR HIM. NOW LETS SEE HINATA THROW HANDS AND PUT NARUTO IN THE CAGE GODAMMIT

Hnggggg dont get me started with her role in Boruto. She's as relevant as a damn houseplant in the manga. They made her into an invisible trophy wife and "the mc's mother" and we all KNOW what happens to the shounen mc's mother once mc is in need of character development :) Quit putting her in the background. Give us that scene where she won against Hanabi DESPITE being retired for years. Give us that scene where she trains Boruto. GIVE US ANY FIGHT SCENE OF HER WHERE HER POTENTIAL ISNT WASTED WTF?¿

Now if you say that Hinata didnt have development. YOURE INVALID. She came from an abusive household, the shyest girl in her class, her insecurities got in the way of her own confidence, had difficulty of standing up for herself now became a loving mother of two, has the guts to kick her husband out of the house(with whom she couldnt even keep eye contact with when she was a kid) became the strongest hyuga, most supportive wife and mother, and has given her kids the comforting childhood she never had as a kid.

She has one of the most beautiful stories in the show and if you think her personality is only Naruto-kun and big boobs, then im sorry that you cant appreciate such a heartwarming story.

And I agree, killing her would honestly make me feel more at ease than continue to see her suffer because of godawful misogynistic writers. But at least let her die in an epic fight. Please. PLEASEE. She got nerfed so bad, i feel a physical pain every time i think about it

Okay what else. I think Ino got pretty good development. Another wasted potential in shippuden but she's doing good for herself in Boruto. I dont know what Temari is up to. They basically made her into another classic angry mom who beats up her husband for comedy trope. Haha very funny and original! Im not sure with her career, im not that invested in the anime.

Tenten??

oh G O D Tenten. The dirtiest of all. Her jokes about her screentime is so mean and i hate that its true ahsjhs. She was the only female character in OG who's goal wanted to be as strong as Tsunade but what did Kishi do to her?? Sidelined. Forgotten. Irrelevant. Like every damn female on the show :D

Konan shouldnt have died. I blame plot armor. I know in my heart that Konan wouldve kicked Obito's ass if it weren't for Kishi's boomer mindset.

Tsunade had so much hype when she was introduced but died down in the war arc. Madara wiped the floor with the kages. Holy shit. Not only that, but yipee! Naruto is there to save the day AGAIN!!!!

AND UGHHHH If the female characters were given proper treatment then maybe MAYBE all the endgame couples wouldve made fucking sense????¿¿¿

I think that ends my rant. Im not sure how the female characters in Boruto are handled. Except maybe Sarada (she's pretty well executed in the manga imo). But arguably they are sooo much better handled in Boruto than how the old gen girls were. And thats because Kishi isnt anywhere near the new gen female cast. I cant formulate a solid opinion with the other new gen female cast since im not entirely invested in the anime. Not ashamed to admit that I only watch it for the sunshine moments and for Hinata :DD

#and *scene #salty char.txt #char complains about Naruto AGAIN #yey #please end my suffering #i need to leave this fandom what am i still doing here #naruto #day 202 of WTF KISHI #i think i got that out of my system

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mycandylovefanatics · 4 years

Note

Hi! I don't know if you remember my request, but it was about Nath, Armin and Cas finding out that Candy had a 4 yo child from them and never told them. Are you still ok with doing that? Thank you so much if you do it👉👈

OMGOMGOMG I REMEMBER YOU ASKING FOR THIS I THINK I WAS PLANNING ON DOING IT AND THEN FORGOT BECAUSE IT WASNT IN MY ACTUAL INBOX ANYMORE I'M SO SO SO SO SORRYYYYYYY!!!

Nathaniel

Ooooof I think Nathaniel would be absolutely livid in this situation. I was looking into the new LL episode and Nath basically said that he doesn’t want kids, so that mixed with his anger at you not telling him just really sets him off. He isn’t even ready for the THOUGHT of having kids and to find out that he has one all of a sudden? A 4 year old at that?

I’m assuming this is going on when you come back, so maybe he’s seen your kid already? He probably hasn’t formerly introduced himself to them but he may have seen you walking around town with them or something. I think part of him always felt kind of… off when he saw the kid’s face? Like something was really familiar about them but he could never figure out why.

I think his first reaction, depending on how he finds out would be either complete denial or absolute rage. If he finds out through someone else, like Rosa or Alexy, I think he’d be pissed because he shouldn’t have to find out through someone else, why would you keep something like this from him but tell everyone else? He’d confront you about it immediately, probably very aggressively because wtf Y/N?? “I’d like to know why the fuck you thought it was okay to not tell me I have a child in this world?!”

If you tell him yourself his reaction would be mostly the same. He’d request a DNA test immediately just to be sure but when that confirmation letter comes in the mail I feel like a part of him will probably go into shock. He isn’t sure where to go from this point. Last week he was a single bachelor with no kids on the way anytime soon and now he’s a single dad?? Is he even allowed to call himself a dad?

I think the best course of action would be to just figure out some sort of schedule for him to see the kid, so he can get to know them. It’s going to be awkward at first, and I think the fact that he doesn’t want children probably makes it really hard for him to adjust to them quickly? Like I said before, Nathaniel will always own up to his responsibilities and handle his business but that doesn’t mean he’ll handle it with ease. It’s probably really hard for your kid too because they’re being forced to hang out with this strange man who is apparently their dad lol

I think over time he’ll start to find things that they have a common interest in, like maybe the kid likes to read, or really likes cats. I could definitely see the kid wanting to go to Nath’s house more often simply because they want to be with White, and she happens to really like the kid so it works out pretty well. They'll eventually build a relationship on their own, but it will still take a while for him to have that “dad” bond if that makes sense. He surprises himself though because he turns out to be a much more patient and gentle father than he thought he’d be.

He probably won’t talk to you much besides contacting you about your kid, other than that he’s still very angry with you about the whole ordeal, he feels like you had no right regardless of your reasoning for it. You guys make an okay pair of co-parents but the relationship probably doesn’t really move past that.

Armin

I think Armin is really 50/50 when it comes to kids. He’s more like “If it happens, it happens.” But if not then he wouldn’t be mad about it. So that being said, finding out he’s got a kid without any kind of preparation for it really throws him for a loop. He’s a range of emotions from pissed, to confused, to sad. He doesn’t understand why you wouldn’t want to tell him about his child, even if you guys weren’t together at the time.

He feels extremely disrespected and disregarded in a way, because he still has the right to know he has a child in this world. I think his first reaction towards you would be livid, like seething. I don’t think Armin gets this upset/mad at anything so seeing him like this would probably be a bit scary. I don’t think you’d be able to have a rational conversation with him at this point so just go home and he’ll contact you again when he’s ready to talk.

When you do have a calm conversation about it, he just wants to ask a bunch of questions. When is their birthday? What’s their name, why didn’t you tell him, how long did you plan on keeping it from him, boy or girl, what are they like, etc?

He’d like to meet them immediately I think, but maybe out in a public setting so no one feels out of their element. The situation is already a bit uncomfortable for everyone but especially the kid so he probably goes to the park or something, so that way they can have something fun to do while he gets to know them. I don’t think he’d want you to interact much with him because at the moment he kind of hates your guts lmao. Sorry just being honest. Of course you could be there if you wanted to but just sit on a bench or something while he plays with them.

I think of all the guys, Armin would have the easiest time bonding with his kid. He’s a super likable guy and is easy going as hell, plus he’s got all the games in the world at his house so I’m sure the child likes to go there all the time. That’s probably how they bonded in the first place let’s be real. Armin probably shows them how to play mario kart or some other kid friendly game like that. Kids are smart too so eventually they beat him, like actually beat him in a race and Armin is just fuckin baffled lolololol

His relationship with you is extremely strained and it’s really hard for him to not be a bit short when speaking with you. He’s as civil as he can be but he doesn’t want to speak with you unless it’s about the kid. I think he’ll hold that grudge against you for a while, he’s still angry at the fact that you kept his kid away from him and made him miss out on so much.

Castiel

I think Castiel might be in the best and also the worst position to have a kid? His music career is going very well and he’s got a decent amount of money. But he’s in the spotlight a lot, and if this gets out it’s going to cause quite a scandal. He’s not one to sleep with someone random every night, but he’s had a few one night stands, and assuming you guys haven’t been in contact until recently he might think you’re just after his money tbh lol

He wont take you seriously until he actually sees the kid. I personally feel like Castiel’s family has very unmistakeable genes lol he looks a lot like his dad so it would only be right for his kid to look a lot like him. I feel like you wouldn’t even be able to deny it. He’d still ask for a DNA test just to be 100% sure but when he sees the kid’s face his stomach DROPS because damn if that isn’t a carbon copy of himself when he was a kid.

Of course the test comes back positive but he doesn’t even really need to know what the results say at this point. Honestly just prepare yourself because he is not going to be pleased with you at all. I don’t think Castiel blowing up is a sight I’d like to see tbh. He’s absolutely seething with rage because one, why didn’t you just tell him when you found out?? Castiel isn’t a douche bag so he would have stepped up and did what needed to be done, he would have supported you and considering you dated him for so long how could you not know that? “How fucking dare you keep something like this away from me?!” He’s also kind of questioning your motives because are you only telling him this because you want money? Or are you suddenly feeling bad about the situation? He isn’t sure if he can trust that your intentions are purely for the sake of your kid, he’s kind of a big deal now so he has to be careful of that sort of thing.

Castiel actually does want children so he’s genuinely heartbroken at the fact that he missed the first few years of his kid’s life, even if he wasn’t exactly prepared for fatherhood. I don’t know if he’d want to meet them immediately because he’s still processing this information and wants to be in the right headspace for the kid so it might be a few weeks before they actually spend some time together. He’d like to do it in public but paparazzi are ruthless and he doesn’t want his child’s face to be all over the internet so they’d probably meet at his house.

It’s very strange for him at first because he doesn’t get to interact with kids that much, and this is HIS kid so it puts this weird pressure on him. He just kind of watches them from a distance, trying to gauge their personality. And also the shock of seeing his kid up close and personal is pretty intense. Eventually he’ll feel ready to try to initiate some sort of conversation with them, maybe he sees the kid eyeing his guitar display so he takes the opportunity to bond with them and maybe teach them how to play. Of course the kid is just playing random strings but it’s still fun for them lol

He also won’t introduce himself as their dad, he let’s them call him Castiel, and I’m sure eventually the kid will become close enough to call him dad on their own.

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aprito · 3 years

Text

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me)

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please)

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since.

so finally we can move to the first question

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara.

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

#nonitxt #meta #another hot take from me #but seriously if you're offended over these #unfollow me lol idc #defending predatory content is not a hill im gonna die on in this life

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cherry-ber · 4 years

Text

“You’re a little much for me”

A.N: So i disappeared for a month again and I honestly don’t know what I’m doing

Pairing: Lee Taeyong x female reader (I’m sorry i literally couldn’t avoid the pronouns) kinda Jaehyun but ???

Genre: ANGST kinda but idk if it should be called that

Warning: I know I said it was angst but really I just wrote words so it’s actaully very bad. Mentions of a dependant relation, smoking, but i didn’t develop any of it properly. Not readproof but i needed to psot something tbh.

Plot: I honestly don’t even know what the fuck i did here but Taeyong gives too much of himself for the girl he loves even when she won’t see. (None of this makes sense, actually, but pretend it made you sad somehow idk don’t read this rly)

Tears fell from her cheeks as she walked back home. Her feet hurt inside her shoes, she purposely wore them to look better even though she regretted it as soon as she walked a mile. Clouds gattered threatening to rain when she less expected it. Her heart ached in a particular way, and for a moment she really thought she might die from sadness.

Around her, groups of people walked together, laughing and couples would pass her by holding hands. Her hands were shaking as she looked for a cigarette in her purse, and took the lighter out of her pocket. She promised herself she wouldn’t smoke again, but that wouldn’t be the first promise she had broken today. Her phone rang, a text message from someone that she wouldn’t want to hurt by replying in a bad mood.

She felt dumb crying in the streets, grateful that she made everyone too uncomfortable to ask if everything was alright. The truth was that she wasn’t, she felt her life was falling apart, piece by piece, knowing perfectly well all that she was doing wrong, yet unable to do something to fix it. She felt like she was spiraling down to hit rock bottom, and she was hoping that as soon as she did, she’d have enough strenght to overcome what was going on.

Usually, she would call her boyfriend, but he was exactly the problem. Jaehyun was an amazing friend, beloved by her friends and family, a caring human and the best son to his parents, but he didn’t know how to be an okay boyfriend. He wasn’t a bad person, but he didn’t know how to be good to her.

He’d often excuse himself saying that settling down wasn’t in his plans, but he tried for her, and he expected her to understand and forgive him when he screwd up because she was a lot to deal with, like today, when she found him kissing another lady, she felt her heart breaking when he saw her too and played the “I didn’t mean you to see this and I’m sorry for that” card that he had use too much before followed by “I can’t handle you sometimes so it’s okay for me to do this”. She knew she loved him too much, she knew that he had hurted her too much this time, though.

“You know what? I literally can’t stand you this days, it’s not my fault you’re dependant, I don’t even love you anymore, I just can’t leave you because maybe you’ll kill yourself and then I’ll be the bad guy”

“You’re already the bad guy, Jaehyun” “I’m not, you’re overwhelming, you’re too much, I don’t know how I’ve been dealing with your shit for so long” Deffinitely not what you’d want to hear from your boyfriend of 3 years, but deep down she felt sorry for him, he was right, she was overwhelming, she was annoying and she was a little too much for anyone, even for herself, sometimes.

The phone rang again, you noticed it was a call and hesitantly picked it up.

“Can I see you tonight?”

“I’m not in the mood tonight”

“Please” he was pouting on the other side of the line “I’m outside already”

She ran as fast as she could, knowing that he never joked about being outside, not wanting him to be alone when it was about to pour, It was funny how much she cared about others too much, even when she wouldn’t care about herself. At least she knew he cared about her too, he was the person he truted the most.

Taeyong could read her like a book, he knew every breath of hers meant something, he knew something was wrong just by the way she walked, even when she greeted him with a wide smile. And she knew that he could never hide anything from him, she knew he would always be there for her, so pretending that everything was fine was pointless, she broke down when they were infront of eachother, he gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead. Her teardrops wetting his clothes enough to mistake them from the raindrops, that couldn’t chose a more dramatic moment to fall. After a moment she was able to take her keys and they came into her cold apartment, the only thing that made that place be cozy, though, was her presence. “You smell like cigs again” He looked concerned, she quitted smoking some months ago, and they were both proude, it was sad that she went back to it again “Do you want to talk it out?”

“Not really” she boiled some water for tea and brought cookies to him “It was awful, it tastes like shit, I don’t miss it at all”

“I’m glad you don’t” he hated to ask but he knew he had to “How was your date?”

Her eyes watered immediately at the scene of him with someone else, and she didn’t want to hear what Taeyong had to say about it.

“It was alright, I guess”

“Good”

He felt awkward around her, no matter how cool he played it, he was weak for her smile, he could’t help his heart from beating too fast when she spoke, he knew how to hide it from her, but everyone else could notice the way he felt, even her boyfriend, which was the main reason that they hated eachother.

“Can we go to my room and cuddle?” Sometimes she left him speechless, for a long time he wondered if she knew and that was the reason that she gave him mixed signals, but he came to the realization that she was too nice to ever do that, she was just too friendly “Or whetever, honestly, I could use some sleep” “I was planning on watching this movie I got recommended, but sure” he followed her to her room, she crawled into the bed and patted next to her, when he layed next to her, he felt joyful and it took her a little to fall asleep. Taeyong felt complete next to her, he wanted to have her like that forever, and he wondered how many times Jaehyun had the chance to sleep with her before, bitter again because he knew he’d never have her.

It only took him five minutes to fall asleep too, only to be woken up by her phone ringing like crazy. She stood up and picked up too quickly when she read it was Jaehyun calling.

“I’m sorry, babe, I shouldn’t have say that, you know I loove you”

“I love you too, Jae”

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow and make it up to you, how about that?”

She knew, somehow, he was with someone else, she could feel it, she knew he meant nothing of what he was saying, but she decided to believe it anyway”

“You’re the best, I’ll see you tomorrow”

Those words shouldn’t have hurted Taeyong as much as they did, but it happened every time, she’d be “over him” and he’d think about confessing, and then Jaehyun would call her, because he was just as dependant as she was, he was too selfish to let her go, but not interested on her at all. Jaehyun liked to know he’d have her whenever he wanted to, without doing much to have her, he liked knowing someone needed him as much as she did, somehow.

Taeyong loved too hard, and he knew he was unable to move on, he knew he’d always love her, no matter how many times she made him feel like he was not enough. It was funny how he got hurted everytime but he came back for more, that’s why he couldn’t blame her for loving Jaehyun too much. He wondered if she’d move on the day he would move on, too.

**********************************************************

A.N: I DONT KNOW HOW TO USE TUMBLR ON A COMPUTER HELP . I’ll edit whatever needs to be edited, I wasnt able to add the song but of course “Liability” was playing while i was tying to write something-

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b0ttl3d-up-st4rs · 3 years

Text

Well I'm gonna do what I do best and self reflect to an insane amount. This is probably gonna be a long post so buckle up.

To be honest my behavior for nearly the past year now is concerning to say the least. There's this little voice in my head that just desperately wants to get more and more hurt, more and more traumatized. Why is that? At first glance the negative approach could be to say its some sort of masochistic behavior and any negative repercussions as a result of this behavior is deserved, but I don't really think thats the case.

Self sabotage is a characteristic that can be exhibited in many mentally ill people and I am no exception. I think this behavior, of seeking to be hurt by grown men on the internet is partially self sabotage.

And I remember when I first started this shit show, I just wanted attention. Sounds mean to say, but craving attention is something the human soul desperately wants. And I was starting to feel some sense of self beauty but I didn't feel as though anyone around me was appreciating it so I tried to get attention from grown men because being showered in compliments and attention felt so good when my whole life I've never gotten any of that.

I think there's more too it, though. Looking back my whole life it's almost as if I've wanted to get hurt. In books I liked to sit around with the pain the characters felt. And its almost like I wanted to get traumatized. I've heard that people with trauma that they don't acknowledge is trauma or think its bad enough to be traumatizing seek put worse forms of trauma, in order to feel that pain is valid. And I think that's part of my issue too.

I do have unaddressed and repressed childhood trauma. I was given unrestricted internet at a young age and was exposed to the horrors of the internet. Nothing like straight up porn, but a lot of suggestive content. And in general being exposed to that caused me a lot of catholic guilt as I was raised catholic. I remember feeling like knowing these things were my fault. Many days I felt so guilty that I would pray to god to let me not wake up in the morning.

As a child I also questioned my religion a lot, which i think was traumatic in itself. Religion is a big thing. And as a kid I had a big issue knowing reality from fiction. Heck I still do. I remember as a kid my friend telling me that we were all demigods and one day we were going to run away to camp half blood. That the percy jackson books were real. It sounds stupid now, but I processed that as real and it was so stressful for me.

And I remember being 12 coming out as trans and as a part of the lgbtq community to my parents. They didnt react well. They said I was confused. My mom said I was both too young and too old to know. I fought a lot with my mom. And in general have a lot of unhappy memories from then. I was outed multiple times in my life.

My relationship with my parents still isnt good. My mom has a tendency to be toxic. I hate that I have to stay in the closet around my family its so painful. Like a month ago I mentioned the lgbtq community for the first time in years, asking my mom her opinions on it and if it changed since 2017, and it turned into her yelling at me and making herself a victim. It really hurt. I forgot how much it hurt.

I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad. We barely talk. Hes very emotionally distant. When I'm at my dad's house I sort of fend for myself. Its the exact opposite at my moms house. She's overbearing and never leaves you alone. It's like going between to extremes.

And honestly I can't wait to move out. My mom and I have arguments a lot. But hey at least I have some relationship with her, I don't really have a relationship with my dad.

I remember one time this year, I was during the end of a school semester. I needed to catch up on work because after talking to my abuser for like 5 months and then unlocking him I was left in shambles and fell into a really bad depression to where my motivation for school just disapeared. Im still dealing with that tbh. Anyways I had to go to a online meeting to choose my classes and I didn't get to choose the classes I thought I would be able to, and that made me really upset. But after the meeting I had to go to do am act of kindness (I chose picking up litter at a graveyard cause i like graveyards) for my school project but I was still distraught. If I was given some time to myself I probably wouldve been able to go without issue, but my mom wanted to go immediately. We argued. And when I got there I refused to leave the car because I felt so much like shit. We argued more. It was the worst argument I ever had. She even swore at me. Which she's never done before. And she ended up playing victim again. She does that a lot I guess. And doesn't really listen to my feelings. Whenever I try to communicate about my feelings with her it turns into an argument and she makes it about herself. So yeah our relationship isn't the greatest. And I think having mommy and daddy issues is a trauma in itself. Ppl deserve to have happy healthy supportive families.

Oh right and another trauma I completely forgot (funny how that happens) is when I was 14 and admitted to a mental hospital because I tried to off myself. It was so surreal and they forced me to learn how to make eye contact with people cause apparently thats "how they know im doing ok". Which is kinda fucked considering the fact I recently realized I might be autistic. And eye contact is literally so painful for me. It especially was back then. Anyways the place itself wasnt too bad but the feeling of being trapped overall sucks and being disconnected from the rest of the world isnt fun either. Also I dissociate all the time but I especially dissociated hard thru the whole experience. And sort of made myself into the perfect patient, repeating all their bs and literally lying to myself to convince myself that I was ok so they would let me go. So that was kind of weird.

Anyways I know I have it better than others. And honestly sometimes it's hard to tell what exactly was traumatic in my childhood. I probably forgot and repressed other parts of it too and am forgetting things. But needless to say these unaddressed traumas didn't help my mental state. And i do think that's a big part of the voice in my head begging me to just get hurt more.

Overall my mental state is fucked, It's been really hard for me not to be taken advantage of by another internet pedo. Heck the only reason that isn't happening rn is because no ones dmed me yet. Also I unblocked my old abuser and we are talking again now so thats fun. It definitely doesnt help the cognitive dissonance in my brain of him being actually a nice and supportive dude. I think thats also a part of me wanting to get more traumatized. Since my abuser is a nice person that should counteract all the fucked up sexual things he said to me in the past right? I mean others have it worse, had worse abusers that were actively cruel. That's part of the bitch in my subconscious brain talking. It sucks tbh.

Anyways yeah I probably need therapy but I don't feel comfortable talking about this to my current counselor and honestly its really hard to say out loud. I can talk forever about it by writing it down but the moment I speak words from my dumbass mouth I break down in tears and can't do it. Plus idk, I'm scared if I say anything she'll have to tell my parents and that my phone might be taken away or I'll have less privacy and for a closeted queer where my only current life line is the internet and my online friends: that is a terrifying idea. Idk. I'm fucked basically.

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vagarius · 4 years

Text

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it? their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most? uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing? ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them? I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them? THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them? hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s) this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon) this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together? they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why? i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10. AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them? in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?) you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why? OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing? THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them? i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them? as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them? TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.) angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation? they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date? i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts? IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love

#a3 #misukazu #kazumisu #ikaruga misumi #miyoshi kazunari #a3!#act! addict! actors!#headcanons #ernb its me

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