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writingsfromhome · 5 months

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If you Love Something

A/N: this has been an idea sitting in my drafts for a while. You and Harry had a brief but intense relationship as teenagers, were forced to make a serious decision then, and it’s aftereffects have lingered for the rest of your lives. It deals with some heavier topics so read with caution (alcoholism, depression, unwanted pregnancy etc). I’d describe it as sad but hopeful.

Part 2

—————————————

Age 17.

It started in secret. We’d found each other on the roof of a house party. Truth be told, I saw him sneak out of the window where people were crowded around the TV watching some controversial music video I hadn’t heard about. And I’d followed.

I knew who Harry was. Had him in English, Maths, and Biology last year. He was well spoken, thoughtful, and silly. I never spoke to him once though. Only admired him from afar.

Tonight I had my first drink and then another. I was feeling buzzed and despite being painfully shy for most of the time I’d known everyone here, I was suddenly gripped by the realization that we were approaching the last year we would all be together. Why had I waited this long to pursue someone I thought was cute?

I snuck out after him, when my friends weren’t looking. I even tilted the window more closed than usual so no one would suspect anything; I had the attic room at home so I knew how to maneuver the angled roof to get comfortable.

“You need any help?” Harry’s voice is clear in the silence.

“I’m alright.” I stand up to peer at him. He’s climbed near the top.

“Sure? You don’t seem steady.”

“Oh I’m steady,” I prove it to him by climbing up to where he was. “See?”

“I’m mistaken. My bad.” He holds out a hand to help me sit beside him and the night sky flashes brighter for an instant when I grasp his hand. My stomach is in knots.

“Harry. Styles.” I don’t know why I say his full name but I was nervous.

He repeats my full name back to me. I don’t know why I’m surprised he knows it. It’s not like we went to a big school.

“What brings you out here?”

I try to be bold about it, “You?”

“Party was getting too much.” He says. I stare at him in confusion while he complains about something his friends had gotten up to.

I replay my answer and realized it sounded like I’d skipped answering his question and asked the question back. Bugger.

“You know my name.” I interrupt him, forgetting he was telling me a story. Awkward.

“Yeah? Of course I do.”

“We’ve never talked.”

“We talked. Once in Maths. We had to grade each other’s answers.”

Oh yeah. I burn when I remember the 4/10 he’d given me with a smiley face saying that maths was masochistic.

“Barely.”

“I know you though,” he says with a softness that makes my heart stutter.

“Do you?” I look to him, resting my chin on my shoulder. He gazes down at me and I swear I could taste the colours around us.

His eyes draw me deeper as he inches closer. Was he going to kiss me? Oh my god.

I look back out to the roof and he jerks away. Omg.

“I do.”

“Oh,” I don’t know what to do after that awkward moment.

“I know you’re really quiet and shy but your smile is so loud you can see it from across the room.” He says and my breath catches as he continues. “You’re yourself with your friends, you really like Harry Potter and field hockey. You would kill Mal Adams if you could get away with it and you hate Maths just as much as you love art. You’re dating Oli Graves but your smile is only ever shining half as bright when you’re around him. Can I go on?”

I stop breathing completely halfway through his declaration of knowing me. All this time I had my eye on him, I didn’t know he was watching me too.

“I didn’t ask you for your opinion on my relationship.”

“You didn’t. I didn’t give you one either.”

I glare at him. He was right. He smiles knowing he was. I’m mad that I’m not mad at him. That he was right.

“What are you doing with a guy like that?”

Oli and I had been dating for 7 months now. He was loud and fun in a way I wish I could be. That’s why I liked him so much. That’s why I was at a party like this to begin with.

“He’s a good guy.”

“That’s all?” He asks. I look over but he’s looking up at the sky. I follow his gaze and get lost in the great expanse of nighttime.

“I think you deserve someone who sees you. Don’t you?”

“Did Ally see you?” I ask with a hint of aggression I didn’t mean to have.

“Ally and I broke up during Easter. So there’s your answer.” He’s unbothered.

“Well what do you want?” I ask.

“Right now? Or in life?”

I shrug. “Both?”

“I want to explore the world and meet all kinds of people. I wanna make the world a better place by being in it. It’s cheesy as shit so if you ever said I said this I’ll deny it and you’ll look like-“

“My lips are sealed.” I turn his way to promise him that. It makes me laugh at how serious he looks saying it all and when I do his face relaxes.

“You laugh is nice too. I forgot to mention that.”

That quiets me very quickly.

“And right now,” he continues. “I’d really like to kiss you.”

My ears ring. Did I hear him right? Could you get so drunk you hallucinate? I swear the cold air had sobered me-

“Did you hear what I said?” Harry’s moved in closer to me. Did I? I don’t know.

“What d-“

“I’d like to kiss you.”

I nod, afraid to talk and realize I’d hallucinated him saying that.

The world melts away when he kisses me. It’s tender, nothing like Oli and his jagged pushy kissing. In the nighttime air it’s warm, and soft, and easy.

“I know you,” Harry says when we part. I’d nearly climbed into his lap and I try to edge away, embarrassed, but he keeps a hand firm on my thigh.

“I know you too Harry,” I breathe. He smiles and it crinkles his luscious eyes.

I think I was falling.

***

We keep it a secret after I break up with Oli. For months, until mid-August when I invite him over for dinner after my mom insists on meeting “the boy I was all doe-eyed over”. The night with my family goes so well—Harry is the picture of a courteous gentleman that even my sister is swayed by him despite saying boys were gross. I ask him to hang out, in public, the next day. He doesn’t hesitate to say yes.

That’s what I love about Harry—yes love. He’s not pushy, he lets me go at my own pace. He respects me and sees me for everything I am and loves me anyway. I wanted to spend my whole life with him.

It was so intense and relaxed at the same time. It felt like no relationship I’d been in before. I felt different being with him, even my friends noticed.

When final year started, Harry and I were official but we didn’t flaunt it. We didn’t need to. My friends knew about us and they were happy for us, they told me I was more me. Whatever that meant.

Life was phenomenal and I was living in a dusky haze. Nothing could touch us.

Until one day in February. I was out with my sister, mum didn’t want to take her out and since I recently got my driver’s license with plenty of lessons from Harry, I was driving her to the mall. She needed Valentine’s Day cards.

“I thought you said love is stupid.” I remind her on the way.

“It is.”

“So why the hell am I driving you to buy cards for a made up holiday?”

“Because!” She crosses her arms and stares out the window. I flick her arm at a red light.

“You have a crush.”

“I do not!”

“Do too. Who is it? James? Mattie? Hamid?”

“Ew! They’re freaks.” My sister continues staring out the window.

“Why do you want to buy cards so bad!?”

“I just want them! For my friends!”

“Okay then,” I didn’t believe her. But I couldn’t bring her home crying or mum would ground me.

A lot of places have slim pickings. Wandering the aisle of Waterstones I catch sight of a family friend. She was my dad’s uni friend’s daughter, a few years older than me but by the time I got to secondary she had dropped out after getting pregnant. I remember the buzz when everyone found out.

I avoid her and find an aisle to occupy myself.

Harry and I were always careful, mum had already given me the talk and he never pressured me to do anything I didn’t. I imagine Harry as a dad. He would make a good one I think.

As one thought leads to another I go cold as I realize something. My last period was during the holidays.

I feel like I’m walking in a swarm of locusts as I walk to the edge of the aisle, scanning for my sister. Maybe I can pop into a pharmacy before she’s done. Maybe…

This was crazy. It was probably just a missed period.

But if it isn’t, another voice asks. I felt it in my gut. I had to do this.

I don’t remember getting home. I don’t remember anything about the rest of that day except two faint lines, and then two faint lines again, and a third time. I fall asleep before dinner that night and shut the world out.

***

“I know something’s wrong.” Harry’s walking me home after school. It’s Valentine’s Day and he’d been nothing but sweet. He bought me chocolates, flowers, and we planned to cook dinner together after school. I had bought him chocolates too, and had written him a heartfelt note with a bunch of photos of us weeks ago. The box was in my room, waiting for tonight. “Do you not like the flowers? Or is it dinner? We can go out somewhere instead?”

“No everything’s lovely.” I’d never heard Harry this desperate before. It gets under my skin even though part of me knows that’s not really it. But having him hover over me all week trying to figure out what was wrong was too much.

I’d spent every night this week with a hand over my belly. Thinking about it. I hadn’t told anyone. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. All I can think of was Jenny and I didn’t want that life. I couldn’t. I couldn’t be a mother.

“Please. What’s the matter.” Harry asks again, tugging at my hands but I pull them away.

“I just need some space!” I shout and he flinches. “I’m sorry Harry. I just need space right now.”

“Right now like…” he scratches his head. “I don’t get you. It’s Valentine’s Day, we’ve been talking about this day for weeks what do you mean you want space?”

“I can’t do this right now. Please.”

“Are you-are we…”

“I’m not breaking up with you.” I look at Harry with tears in my eyes, I didn’t want to cry out here. But every time I look at him I remember the reality. What’s growing inside me. I can’t take it. “I just can’t do today.”

I go inside my house. Leave him without further explanation. I feel awful, I can’t hold the tears in long enough to get to my room.

***

“Hey love?” My mum and dad knock on my door at half past 5. I lay in the dark, having cried myself dry. “We’re worried about you. Can we talk.”

“I can’t.” I say, voice stuffy.

“I thought you and that boyfriend of yours had plans,” dad says. He liked Harry but he rarely called him by his name. “Did something happen?”

“No!” I wanted them to leave me alone. “I just. I had to cancel. I’m fine.”

“Don’t sound fine to me love,” I feel the mattress dip as mum sits down. Dad strokes my hair. They whisper something I can’t hear and a pair of footsteps pad out of my room.

“Mum just leave me alone.” I try again.

“I’m not.” She pushes me further into my bed and leans down, tugging my blanket down. When I finally look at her she smiles kindly and kisses my forehead. That fills me up enough to start wailing again. “Oh love, what’s wrong?”

“Everything!” I sob into my blanket. Mom lays down beside me and I let myself be cradled like a child. God, I had a child. This was so fucked.

“Talk to me. We can figure it out together.”

I don’t know how my parents would react. They were never particularly strict, especially after what happened with Jenny I remember them always being sympathetic. We even visited her in hospital with a gift.

Mum strokes my hair and whispers that it’ll be okay. Slowly my sobbing eases into light sniffles. I had to tell her. She would know what to do. And if she hated me for it, I would just have to deal with it.

“Mum don’t be mad-“

“I won’t honey I-“

“No. Mum.” I cut her off. She moves back on the pillow so she can see my whole face, moving a strand of hair so I couldn’t hide. “Something…messed up. Happened. And…I was careful. We were always careful I don’t know what happened but I-“

I watch her face changed. Like she knew. She knew what was coming but she waits patiently as I muster up the courage to say the words that felt too real once I said them.

“Mum I’m…I’m pregnant.”

Her eyes fill with tears and she bites her lip. What was she thinking? Was she crying for me or with me? Why wasn’t she saying anything!?

“Mum-“

“C’mere.” She wraps me in her embrace again and kisses the top of my head. My body feels drained and limp. I finally told somebody. It was real. This living thing inside of me was real.

“What happened?” She asks next. And I tell her what I think happened. When. How I found out. She listens, holding my hand in hers. When I’m done and it’s poured out of me she smiles supportively. “This isn’t a bad thing okay? It’s okay. Any decision you make is up to you. I’ll talk to your dad but just know you call the shots okay? I love you.”

This is what carries me. The love.

She asks me it I told Harry yet and I tell her the truth. She urges me to tell him. I tell her I wanted to so bad but I was scared.

She leaves shortly after that, I hear her talking softly outside my room. Nobody calls me for dinner until 7, a soft knock on my door. My sister would never be so soft, I assume it’s dad so I tell him to come in. I was scared to face him.

It’s Harry instead.

“Harry!” I cover my splotchy face with my blanket, why was he here? Did mum invite him? This was soo embarrassing.

My heart pounds and Harry is silent until he takes a seat where mum had previously been.

“I came over, your mum invited me. She explained.”

She did what? For a moment I feel betrayed.

“She said you weren’t doing so well. Stressed? I could make you some tea if you’d like. But I told you y/n, you’ll get into unis. You don’t have to worry so…”

I sigh. Mum had told him a half-truth. But he had come. Of course he had.

I couldn’t even think about uni right now because that lead me down a road of what if I couldn’t go because I had a baby. And that life felt so bleak it made me depressed.

“Harry.” I inch my blanket down a little and his eyes go round when he looks at me.

“You look…awful.”

“I know.” I cover my face with my hair but he brushes it away and kisses my forehead.

“No. I’m worried about you. I brought dinner-“

“Oh Harry.” I spot the bag he brought with him.

“I made it all for us. With my mum’s help but mostly me. I packed it to bring to you.”

I didn’t deserve him. And I had to tell him. And he was going to break up with me. What high school boy wanted a child?

“Harry it’s not uni.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I was carrying another living thing. It was the size of a seed but I was carrying it inside me. Like a living breathing pot. I was a potted plant.

“Then what is it?” His brows crinkle. “Is it us?”

“No!” I rush to tell him. “I…I don’t know how to say this. And I don’t know how you’re going to react but it’s okay either way.”

“What are you talking about?” His hands slide up my lap. “What is it?”

“Harry. I’m um, I’m pregnant.”

I watch him freeze and stay exactly how he is, his brows pinch ever so slightly. I knew this look. He looked still on the outside but his mind was racing. And I was scared what was racing through it.

“Pregnant?”

“Yeah. From…the holidays.”

“How did-I thought we-“

“I guess it’s not foolproof.” I whisper. Mum had told me to go on the pill, and I hadn’t listened because all my friends told me it made them gain weight. If only I had listened. Now I was gaining weight anyway.

“What are we going to do?” He asks next. And I never realized six little words could weigh the world. If I could cut those words out and surgically implant them into my heart I would. Just to remind me the equal parts relieved and comforted they made me.

I hold his face in my hands, new tears springing to my eyes. He was in this. With me.

He kisses me and pulls me into a hug. I cry into his shirt again and he holds me so tight I swear I could break.

“I don’t know if I can keep it Harry,” I finally whisper to him.

His hands fist in my shirt, he holds his breath and after a long minute he lets me go with it.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Was he really okay with all this?

“It’s…I can’t make you keep it.”

“You’d want to keep it?” I couldn’t believe it.

“It’s…” he swallows his sentence and keeps his gaze on my stomach. I tug his hand and lay it over it. When his eyes meet mine I see a hint of heartbreak. We were going to break our hearts either way I think.

Not once did I think he might want to keep it.

“It’s okay.” Harry finally says. “We’re so young right? How would we keep a baby and go to school, and do everything we always talk about?”

“Yeah I don’t…I don’t know.”

“I love you.” He says with such a sudden passion. I wrap my arms around his and return the sentiment.

Eventually we lay down and just talk about everything. Truthfully, my head was telling me not to keep the baby but everything else felt dead thinking about it.

Maybe that’s why it took me until April to finally make a decision. It was the size of a plum by then, and a tiny bump was starting to show but only when I stood naked in front of the mirror. With clothes on, nobody was the wiser. But the longer I kept it, I think the more Harry fell in love with it. The idea of it.

We have a long talk during our Easter holiday. We talked in my bedroom until the sun comes up. I tell him I was sure of my decision.

I’d gotten accepted to Cambridge by then. Harry was staying in London. We knew it wasn’t feasible. To live the life we always wanted, we had to get rid of this new life we never knew could happen.

I don’t know why but I don’t tell him the day I go to do it. I go with my mum. Mum drops my sister off at school—she didn’t know. Mum said she had a big mouth.

We drive in silence. When we park mum asks how I feel.

“Sad.” It was the truth. I knew this was right. But it felt like shite.

“Yeah.” She rubs my hands. “Want to go in?”

“I just want to sit here for a bit.” I tell her.

“Okay. I’ll go sign you in.”

She takes my purse and hers and leaves me there. I take the moment to ground myself. Say goodbye to the other future.

When mum knocks on my window I jump.

“Yn? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah yeah I’m coming in.” I open the door.

“You know you’ve been sitting here half hour?”

I pause, one leg out the door and one still in. “I…I must have got lost in my head. Sorry mum-“

“Look. Do you want to do this?”

“I don’t know…I have to.”

“There are other options love-“

“But how can I give it up and live my whole life like that?”

“We can help raise her. You can go on and live your life-“

“I’d be a horrible mother.” Mum and I had this row so many times before. It always ended in me storming away but I couldn’t here.

“You don’t need to make the decision today.”

“But I do.” I tell her. “Otherwise it’ll drive me insane.”

I tuck both feet back into the car and rest my hand on my belly. I’d allowed myself to do that only in my room, when I was alone. Doing it out here made it feel even more real. Suddenly I couldn’t imagine going through with the decision.

“I can’t do this.” I tell my mum.

She smooths my hair down and kisses my temple. My door closes and a few seconds later she climbs in beside me.

“Think about it.”

“I can’t. But I can’t keep it either.”

“Okay.” Mum pulls me into her and I think I should cry but I can’t. I’m calm, maybe I know I’d made the right decision. Or just a decision. I was going to stick to this.

“I can’t raise it. I’m just a child I…maybe someone out there wants a baby and can’t have one maybe-“

“I’ll look into it for you.” Mum promises. “You set the rules remember?”

And that’s how it goes. Mum looks into it, we decide to go for adoption. We go to the hospital on the first warm day of the year. By then I’d taken to wearing jumpers over flowy dresses and been thankful for the first time in my life that I wasn’t skinny like other girls. At most angles you couldn’t tell my belly was so perfectly round.

By then too, Harry had accepted the decision. He seemed relieved. Thinking aloud he’d said maybe he could raise it, but quickly turned around when I asked him what he’d do about uni.

“Someone out there can take care of it better than us. Someone will love the baby like we do.”

During the summer, I tell all my friends I was staying with family in midlands. And I do go up there, that’s where the couple who was adopting lived. Harry and I meet them with my mum and his. It’s awkward, we run out of conversation fast. But their house is big and they already have a 2 year old from an adoption last year. My baby was going to be loved here. And have a sibling.

“We did want to discuss one last thing,” they’d said before we left. We all listen intently. “We…find it best when it’s a no contact adoption. We’ve had a lot of friends who keep contact open and it gets messy-“

“What?” I hadn’t really thought about this until now. Hearing I’d have to give the baby up and go on like it didn’t exist felt wrong. Harry’s hand slips into mine.

“This is typical,” Harry’s mum says from his side. “Let’s hear it out.”

“Right. So just to prevent future complications, we do no contact. Of course when baby’s older and wants to seek out the real parents we can’t stop them. But until then…”

“Thank you.” My mum steps in when it goes silent. I could hardly wrap my head around what they were saying. When it gets older?

Pretty soon mum is ushering me out and Harry’s hand is still clutching mine. We don’t let go until we reach my Uncle’s where we were staying until August. The baby was due in September. I was going to miss the first week of class.

“I can’t do this.” I tell them later. “How can we just have no contact.”

“I thought you knew.” Mum says. “I explained that some parents want this when they adopt.”

She might have. Ever since I hit the third trimester like my doctor said, I’ve had a hard time listening and understanding what someone was saying after they spoke too long. I was glad school was done—for obvious reasons, but also for not having to sit in a class and learn.

“We have no other choice.” Harry says from beside me. He rubs my back and slowly, I zone back into the conversation. “We can find another family but they might want the same thing.”

“What if the baby never looks for us?” I turn to him, our heads press against the other’s. “What if we go our whole lives just wondering?”

“What’s the other option?” Harry whispers. He was right. I just didn’t want to get it.

Acceptance slowly creeps into me over the course of the summer. It was always hot carrying another person around, I was always hungry and thirsty, and very cranky. Harry came up to see me every other weekend when he could, mum stayed with me and that summer was one I could never forget.

It was September 1st, a particularly hot day. Rain fell in the afternoon and by the time the unforgiving sun set, the cool air was heavenly.

I sat by the bedroom window, moisturizing my belly like mum had shown me, talking to the baby. I wrote it a letter last week all about me, that I loved them and hoped the best for them. I told the baby about my family, how Harry and I met, and then I sealed it in an envelope with a picture of Harry and me. It was taken last Halloween when we’d both dressed up as each other. I tell mum to give it to the new parents. In case the day came the baby wondered about who we were.

As I spoke softly, I felt a gush of something wet down my leg.

“What?” I stand up, confused. “I…”

It takes me a second. I was going into labour.

“Mum!” I shout. “Mum! Come here!”

She rushes in and confirms it. It was happening.

“But it’s supposed to be next week!” I try not to panic but that’s all I can do as mum grabs our things and my aunt rushes to the car. “Does this mean something’s wrong? Is the baby o-“

I freeze as a contraction forces me to fold. I’d felt the kicking and the nausea and everything in between but these. These were a bitch.

Somehow we make it to hospital. Somehow I lay on a bed and push when the doctor tells me to. I nearly pass out. I just wanted Harry here with me. He didn’t know his kid was being born.

With a final push that felt like I was ascending my body and leaving it behind, I hear a wail and I cry. The baby was out, they cried and everything was okay.

“Okay congratulations mummy,” a nurse crouches down to me. “We’re going to clean you and baby up. She’s healthy and looks okay.”

“What?” I can barely see with my hair in my face and the nurses around me. It was a she? I had a baby girl?

We were never told the gender, so we wouldn’t get attached. But I had a baby girl. The nurse just called me mum.

I feel the tears on my cheeks, I was crying too. I try to look around me but a new nurse is talking in hushed voices to the doctor.

“…outside…call…adoption…shouldn’t or….contact-“

“What’s going on?” I can barely get the words out. “What?”

“Oh my love,” suddenly mum’s in the room and things are a bit better. A bit better.

“Mum what’s going on?”

“The baby’s born. The parents are outside they’re going to meet her soon.”

“What?” I look at mum’s face and it’s shining with tears. Why was she crying?

“Oh she’s beautiful love, she’s perfect. But your job’s done now. You should rest.”

“Mum,” I cry. “Where is she? Can’t I hold her?”

“No love,” mum moves my hair out of my face. I feel something break in half inside of me. I couldn’t even hold the baby? The baby girl? Mine and Harry’s baby girl?

“Why? Mum why? I just want to see her-“

“I’m sorry,” mum says through tears. “It’s just the way it is. She’s going to a loving home okay? She’s good. You’re okay.”

I can’t stop crying. I was going to lose her last April and I stopped that but I lost her anyway. My baby, I was never going to see her.

I remember when my sister was born. I was 5 and I was angry she’d taken the attention away. But when I saw her with her perfect toes and angel face I was obsessed with her. I even remember her first steps, she’d taken them at a park with mum and dad and me together. I was never going to know these things about my own baby. I was never going to know her.

I must pass out soon after. I remember waking up to the nurses instructing me about something. I’m half asleep and barely remember what I did when I get up. When I do wake it’s morning and there’s a figure on the chair beside me.

“You’re up.”

Harry. Relief washes over me knowing he’s here.

“Harry they took her,” I tell him.

“I know. I know yn.”

I move aside and he crawls into bed with me. I must look disgusting but he watches me with love brimming in his eyes. I can tell he’s been crying.

“I feel empty,” I whisper. Like someone had carved me out like a pumpkin. Something I’d had with me all year was gone. “How can I just move on? Start uni and all that when I…they just took her.”

“I keep thinking that.” Harry says. “Khalil invited me to a party to meet some blokes from uni and I just sat in my car the whole time. I couldn’t even go in. She…she was never going to be ours.”

“I feel awful.” I burrow into his neck as he strokes my hair. “A baby girl.”

“A baby girl,” Harry echoes.

***

I head to uni a week later. My body still feels like it fought a war and lost. It’s like it still thinks there’s a baby there. I produce milk for a few days, continue to have contractions, my belly is saggier than usual and I can’t stop crying about everything.

My dad drops me off to uni. He tells me he was proud of me, that I was always his baby girl. I cry then just like I cried at home when I said bye to mum, or when my sister hugged me which she never does. I can’t stop crying.

When I move into my dorm I feel like a completely different person than I thought I was going to be. My dormmate fills me in on everything she’s learned, complains about a boy and a party and it just feels so irrelevant to me. Did I used to care about those things? I had a baby. And now I didn’t.

By October, Harry and I are in different worlds. We hadn’t broken up but we talk weekly. Each week there’s less to talk about. When I visit home in October, being around him just makes me sad. He tries to cheer me up, make it like old times, but I know he’s hurting inside too.

I decide to do the breaking up. And at first he’s angry, insisting we could make it work. He actually refuses and walks away. We don’t talk for a whole day.

But at a house party in South where his uni mates were from, he accepts the end.

Through tears we kiss each other one final time, we whisper sweet nothings, we pour into each other all the hopes and wishes we had for each other.

When he hugs me for the last time I leave something behind. It’s similar to waking up the morning after my delivery and knowing something was gone. I really feel the shape of the loss. It sits in my sternum, a hole that grows smaller with time, but not just yet.

I fall into a depressed state for most of my first semester but my dormmate doesn’t give up on me and eventually I go to my first uni party. Eventually my brain fog clears and I actually go to all my classes. Eventually my life, on the outside, looks like it could be back to normal but inside I ache with the loss. So much that it becomes part of me. I don’t know where it ends, and I begin. It lives in me.

Age 23.

“The first of many hey?” Mal clinks his bottle to mine. I barely knew Mal but we were both friends with Khalil and therefore both at his stag.

“Before you know it we’re all going down,” one of Khalil’s friends joins in. “Stag after stag, suit after suit, it’s gonna be a blur man.”

“Let’s enjoy it while we can!” Someone cheers and everyone raises their beers. I toast with a smile; blokes loved to act like being in a relationship was the last thing they wanted when I knew most of them were mush in their girlfriend’s hands.

I also smile knowing I bought an engagement ring a few weeks back. I wanted to propose to Shannon, we met on her 22 when a friend invited me along. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the birthday girl. We’d been together since.

“Who do you think’s next?” The bets start going and nobody bets on me. Everyone always thought Shan was too good for me, they were counting on us breaking up. I was going to prove them all wrong.

The night gets sloppier until we all head back to the air bnb we’d rented for this. Tomorrow we were all supposed to go play golf like we were cosplaying old money bastards when we all knew we were just broke blokes from East. But I guaranteed they’d all be too hungover. We would get to the club and just drink the hangovers away.

And I’m right. I update Shan that I’m right when the boys stay in the dining area of the club. They decide on lunch and I step out to talk to my girlfriend.

“No birds allowed this weekend,” someone pipes in when I excuse myself.

“That’s just cuz you’re miserable Eli.” I brush past as the boys laugh. At me. And him.

I catch up with Shan. It was a bright day for September and I stay a little longer after the phone ends. Shan was in med school, she was always stressed or sleep deprived. I tried to support her the best I could—right now she needed moral support that she was going to get an internship she was applying for.

“Mummy doesn’t like when I have sweets,” a small voice says to my left. I look at a father with his daughter. He’s crouched down zipping her sweater up while she rambles on.

“Well it’s going to be our secret.” The dad says. “Sundays are for sweets aren’t they?”

“I love sweets.” She responds.

The father catches my eye and I shoot him a smile.

“Her mum’s going to hear every detail when we get home,” he says as he stands. “Can’t keep a secret to save her life.”

I laugh. The way she was rambling on, I didn’t think so. “How old’s she?”

“6.” He says, smiling down at her fondly. My heart aches.

“Almost 7.” She corrects her dad.

“Birthday’s in the spring.” He says more to me. “But almost 7 sure.”

I see them leave with one more shared smile, like we’re in on something. I imagine that’s how it would feel to be a parent. Always knowing something your kid doesn’t.

My daughter was 6. Wherever she was.

Thinking about the daughter I never had, the girl I lost always leaves me a little winded. Today’s no different.

Yn and I both made an agreement and it had been the hardest thing I’d done. Letting her go. It took me a proper year to even think about moving on.

I liked to think about yn, doing everything she wanted to do. But when I thought about the baby I spiralled into a dark pit. Sometimes when I drank too much, it pulled me in too deep to get out of. That’s what Shan liked to call my depressive drinking. She’s limited me to 3 drinks since.

Before I go in I take a minute to think about yn, where she might be. I hear from friends in high school random facts about her life. But I wonder how she’s doing. If she thinks about our baby like I do. How life would have been if I’d been here, calling her on the phone instead, asking if our baby girl was doing alright.

Age 29.

I stare at the nape of the man in front of me. It couldn’t be, but I’d memorized the back of his head—amongst other things, nearly 2 decades ago and I would bet £1000 I knew who this was. But I continue staring until the cashier rings him up.

In the same voice I remember, the one from my memories and my fantasies, I hear him say: “debit.”

I wait for him to pay before saying, “Harry?”

He turns so quickly he drops his card, wallet, and keys.

“Hi!” I laugh awkwardly and crouch down to help him pick his things up. There’s an awareness that the people in the queue behind me are witness to a moment that feels more intimate than a grocery store chat and it makes me shrink a little in my shell like a spooked turtle.

“Hi I-uh,” Harry short-circuits in front of me as the bored cashier holds his receipt out and stares at him with eyes that have worked one shift too many.

“I’ll just bag-“

“Yeah we can talk later.” I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile but it feels watery. I couldn’t believe of all the places I’d run into him, it was a grocery queue. How intense in such a mundane place.

As I watch my total rise on screen I risk a glance at Harry. His hand hovers over a white reusable bag, I wonder if that was his. Or his wife’s. If they did their weekly shop in a mismatch of bags that looked like that or they were the type of couple to have a set.

His eyes are on me though, somehow here and not here. I feel the same way.

I look back to the cashier asking me how I was paying. She glances between Harry and I. I don’t look back at him. Or the growing queue a few feet away.

I take my groceries—just some items my mum asked me to pick up, and stuff them into the tote I’m wearing. Harry waits for me by the exit.

“Hi.” He says as his eyes scan my face. I do the same, taking in all the ways time had spent with him. It must have been good—he looked good. “I can’t believe-“

“A Whole Foods of all places.” I laugh. A grin splits his face but his eyes stay on me.

“That smile, that laugh. God I’ve missed you.”

“I…missed you too.” How I could miss someone I’d known for one year and then never again for nearly two decades…I didn’t realize it was possible until now.

“Are you busy?” He asks. “Maybe we can grab a drink or?”

“I don’t…drink.” I hated that I had to announce it to people. I was still at the stage where I was figuring out how to say it confidently, or find a way around saying it.

“Oh.” Harry glances down at my belly and I realize he’d misunderstood but it’s too unspoken to correct him. “Cafe?”

“Yeah. That sounds lovely.” Honestly going anywhere with him sounded lovely right now. I wanted to cancel all my plans for the day and just sit with him. Stare at him and catch up. I couldn’t believe he was here.

We walk in a comfortable but waiting silence, like taking a cold drink out to a park with the anticipation it’s going to be good , and no desperation to open it as soon as you get it.

“Usual? Tea?” Harry asks when we step into a nearby cafe. It’s big for a cafe but has enough students working on laptops to not feel empty. I nod, unsure how to feel that Harry still knows what I order at a cafe. Or that my order hasn’t changed since 17.

I find us a booth and pretty soon he’s sliding into the seat across from me. The two of us can’t stop smiling.

“Hi,” he says again.

“Hi…”

“You look good, the same but better.”

“I was going to say the same thing about you!” I exclaim. More smiling.

“How’s…I mean, how are you? How is everything? What-“

“There’s so much to ask-“

“I don’t even know how to ask what I want to know!” Harry laughs and I’m warmed from the inside out at the sound of it.

“This shouldn’t be hard!”

“No.” He scrubs his face. “I’m really buzzing that we’ve run into each other.”

“Me too. It’s a bit unbelievable.”

“I know.” He continues gripping his cup and not taking his eyes off of me. It’s the exact way he used to look at me when we were teenagers. It nearly takes my breath away. “You look good—but I already said that. Sorry.”

“No,” I laugh. “That’s all that’s running through my head.”

“Oh—I remember hearing you were engaged a few years ago-“

“Yeah.” I turn my hand so he can see the ring. “Married now. You?”

“Yeah,” he looks down at his own hand. He had so many rings on I couldn’t tell from a glance. “Coming up to 5 years now.”

“Wow. It’s only 1.5 for me but Tatum and I—my husband, we’d been since uni.”

“Took him a while.”

“Mhm,” it had been a sore subject way back then. Harry says it casually but he studies my face. I know he wants to ask more but he’ll politely maneuver around it.

“Are you happy?”

I let out a breath. “That’s more complicated than anything else you could ask!”

“Is it?”

“Yeah I-“ I shrug. “I don’t know if I am. But I also have no idea what I could do about it. So. There’s that.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” My stomach curdles with his words. I didn’t want pity, least of all from Harry. Harry. I can’t believe he was here. “I get it though. Everyone says your 30s are even more glorious than your 20s. We’ll see soon enough if they’re right.”

I meet his eye, they always intimidated me to look too long into. Even now, I glance back down at my drink. When I look up again he has a wry smile twisting his lips. He knew.

I was sorry to hear life hadn’t been as good for him. And then I understand, it wasn’t pity he was giving me. He truly was sorry like I.

I thought about Harry often. Of course I did. I liked to imagine him living out his dreams like he always talked about. I liked to imagine him happy and thriving.

“Do you ever think about us?” I have to ask. “If we did it all differently?”

“We would have had a 12 year old with us.”

Hearing him say it feels like someone had taken a screwdriver and opened me up. Raw and exposed. But looking at him I know he thought about her as much as I had. Both of us were apparently mourning a future neither of us had fought for.

“Yeah,” I breathe but I just sound winded.

“We were trying, at one point—Shan and I.” Harry fiddles with his ring. “Did all the tests and the trials and the shite. But no kids. It put a real strain on my relationship. I think we cracked instead of bending. And I don’t think either of us know how to make it right again.”

I grasp his hand and squeeze. “I know what that’s like. It’s hard. I…a couple years ago. I lost a baby. A baby boy. I felt like it was a punishment for-“

“Don’t.”

We hold onto each other, our drinks long forgotten. He holds my hand and it feels like being known again, like I wasn’t such an awful person. That someone could see everything I’ve done and still choose to have love for me.

“I’m sorry.” He tells me.

“Me too.” I bite my lip. With a sigh I let him go and lean back. Here we’d been so excited to bump into each other but we’d both been carrying sorrow and grief. It wasn’t very hopeful.

“So I guess you’re not drinking because you’re-“

“No.” I say, surprisingly without feeling awkward. “I’m just sober right now. Trying to figure out life without a drink.”

“Sounds like torture but I respect that. Sounds hard.”

“It was at first. I like the feeling now of thinking clearly. But I miss a glass of wine I do sometimes.”

We smile at each other.

“So do you live around here?” Harry broaches talking again after both of us had lapsed into silence for a while. I blink away the fog of the past.

“Yeah. You?”

“Nah. Shan’s out of town and I was feeling lonely. Came over to visit my sister. I’m just staying with her for the week.”

“Lucky me then.” I smile.

“Lucky me too.” He smiles back. It’s soft. We’re soft. It felt impossible to me after all this time the tenderness was still the strongest thing between us.

We chat a bit more, much about nothing. What we did for a job, anyone we still kept in touch with from school. Nothing that meant a lot.

“I need to head off now,” I say when my phone buzzes for a second time. “I was on my way to my mum’s. She keeps calling me.”

“Yeah. Don’t want to keep you.” Harry says but he stays seated. So do I.

We continue just studying the other until my phone rings again and I laugh. “It was…I really loved seeing you.”

I slide out and Harry mirrors me. I still come to his chest, he still smells the same and stands the same and looks just as handsome.

“How about uhm, how about dinner some time?” Harry asks. I knew it was coming, it’s still painful saying no.

“I…can’t. I…we can’t just do dinner, can we?”

“No,” Harry bows his head. We had too much history to just do dinner. From what he said—and I knew, both our lives were too complicated to add the allure of each other into the mix. I couldn’t do that to my life as tempted as I was. Especially not sober.

“Yeah.” He stands straight again and gives me space to head to the door. “Good seeing you. Give your mum my best if she doesn’t hate me.”

“She doesn’t.” I assure him. We stand awkwardly not sure if a kiss, a hug, or a wave was appropriate. We settle for a hug.

I remember the last time I was enveloped in his arms, tucked away into his tall frame. When we said goodbye forever, agreed to live our best lives separately. We’d both been too scarred to be anything together. Too much grief.

“Maybe we’ll run into each other again.” Harry smiles at me when we part.

“Maybe,” I say knowing full well I wouldn’t do groceries on the weekend anymore.

With a final wave we both part ways again, this time it doesn’t feel as much like closure.

Age 35.

“Graduation’s graduating, what a mouthful.” I say to Andie. We sit in the parking lot of a local pub back home. Both of us had avoided reunions after going to the first one 10 years ago and being reminded of how much people liked to remind you of who you used to be. But this year Andie found out an old flame was going and single. And this is the first year I saw that Harry had checked off going. So we’d decided to go together.

I could have easily reached out to him. Asked him about meeting up there. But I didn’t want to come across any way. I remember our run-in 6 years ago. We felt the same way—we would do anything for each other, and I didn’t want any affect over him coming. Last I heard he was still in a relationship. Just cuz I was didn’t mean I had to ruin another.

“Okay. We going in?” Andie passes me her flask.

I’d taken to drinking again. Originally I stopped after a particularly bad night when I was 28. It nearly cost me my wedding back then.

I stopped to get sober. To feel what it felt like not to rely on alcohol to keep from feeling my emotions. I had a lot of grief I never processed. And unfortunately being sober, and processing the grief and depression, had ultimately cost me my marriage. But I was better for it. I knew what unconditional love and support was. I didn’t want to settle for someone who only loved me at my best.

Now I felt in control when I drank. I knew when to stop.

“Let’s go!”

“Do you think he’ll remember me?” Andie asks as we walk up to the place.

“You comment on so many of his posts. I think he does.” I tease.

“Gah. It would have saved me so much heartbreak if I just told him back 18 years ago how I felt.”

“Maybe,” I think about my confessed love 18 years ago and the heartbreak that ensued.

“Well at least I would have gotten him outta my system. Oh god I see him-“

“Hi ladies,” we’re stopped near the front and given name tags, making small talk with the girls working the booth. I vaguely remember them from a club but I have to read their name tags to pretend I remembered them at all.

Andie ditches me pretty quickly but I don’t mind. I find some friends I saw a couple times a year. Guess this was the couple time this year.

The whole time my eyes scan the room. People had brought their partners and I wondered if Harry would do the same. Deep down, I prayed he didn’t. I just wanted to see him.

I spot him halfway through the night. He’s leaning against the bar talking to Khalil. I remembered they used to be friends, he was always nice to me while Harry and I dated.

I watch him talk and drink. I lose him for a bit and then catch him leaving. Shite.

I excuse myself and rush out but nearly trip over myself slowing down. He was just outside for a smoke break.

“When did that habit start?” I ask. He nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Fu-y/n you scared me.” He shakes his face dramatically, like he’s getting something off of it. I bite back a smile, he was pretty drunk. “When did you get here? I didn’t know you came to these things?”

“I don’t.” I correct him. I couldn’t tell him I came for him. “It was just the name of this reunion, Graduation’s graduating. How could I pass it up?”

This earns a laugh. Eases the air between us. “Did you see Oli in there? He’s gotten bald.”

“He looks like his dad actually,” I remember his dad was always coming to Oli’s football matches, screaming at his son to run faster.

“Glad you didn’t end up with him?” Harry smirks.

“Oh yeah. I heard last reunion he just kept going up for the karaoke sober. If I want my bloke to embarrass me, at least give him the excuse of being drunk.”

“Shit,” Harry laughs. “I remember that! I remember! Wish I could forget!”

I laugh with him. “Harry you’re getting pretty close to drunk yourself.”

“Ah yeah. More than 3 drinks that, I’m being naughty tonight.”

I scrunch my nose, no idea what he’s talking about.

“I can’t believe you’re here tonight,” Harry says again. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you again for another 12 years after our last time.”

“Thought I’d halve the time.” I watch Harry squash out the butt.

“Glad you did.” He looks at me and I’m 17 again. Why couldn’t we both be single? Why did I come here knowing I couldn’t have him.

Maybe I was as masochistic as the person who invented maths.

“Yn?” A voice calls out to me. “Oi! It is you I thought I was dreaming you up! What a sight!”

I’d been avoiding Oli all night. Not anymore.

I glance at Harry and he hides a smirk. Oli notices Harry then and his face hardens a little.

“Oli! Long time!” I go in for the hug he’s reaching for, unsure why he was so sweaty on an autumn night. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he grins at me. “You look good! Not a day over 25.”

“Don’t flatter me Oli,” I roll my eyes. “It’s not going to get you anything.”

“I’m not looking! I swear it!” He says earnestly. “I’m just paying you a compliment. It’s good to see you. Hey, I’m actually in a good relationship. Gonna propose to her.”

“Are you? What’s she like?”

I stand in the brisk evening as Oli tells me about his girlfriend. I’m happy for him, what we had in high school wasn’t really a relationship but I never wished him bad. He was a good guy, I was glad he found his person.

I change the subject when he asks about my love life, tell him I was getting cold. We head back in and I tell him I’d catch up to him later. I’d lost Harry and wanted to find him again. I had more I wanted to talk about.

“Khalil,” I interrupt him playing pool. He goes in for a hug and I engage in polite small talk until I tire of it. “I’m looking for Harry.”

“Of course you are,” he wags a finger at me. “I saw him leaving ten minutes ago?”

“Jeez really?” I couldn’t believe I missed him! After coming here just for him. Maybe he had to get home, maybe he had a kid by now. Had to tuck him in.

“He’s not doing so well since the divorce-“

“What?” I stare at Khalil like he’s spoken gibberish. Why hadn’t I heard about that?

“Ehm yeah. He’s pretty private about it.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Yeah. He’s been separated a few years now but he just signed the papers a couple weeks ago. I dunno. He gets kinda depressed around this time of year. Probably the weather.”

It was September. It wasn’t the weather.

I had to find him.

I brush past the people I went to school with. I followed Harry outside to a roof 17 years ago and today I follow him out to find him again. We needed to talk.

I look both ways, hoping for a miracle.

I spot a figure slumped on the far end of the road. I recognize the church, it was where we went every Easter and Christmas growing up.

I walk towards the figure until I can make out the hair. It was Harry. Thank god.

“Why’d you leave?” I ask him when he looks up to my approaching footsteps.

“I drank too much,” he hangs his head again. I sit beside him.

“I heard about the divorce. I’m sorry.”

Harry shrugs. “We separated a while ago. It was coming for a long time.”

“Yeah. Still.” I say.

We sit in silence, the only sound is our breathing and the faint noises from the pub down the road.

“She’s in her last year by now.” I say without further explanation. I know he’d know.

“Our baby’s 17.”

Our baby? I feel choked up. All these years we’d been apart, built our own lives, and there was still an our even when there hadn’t been.

“It’s always been us hasn’t it?” Harry says. “Nobody understands.”

“They couldn’t. We were so young, making such a big decision.”

“Oh y/n.” He leans into me and I wrap my arm around his shoulder. He’s cold, his jacket pooled on the steps around him. I gather it to spread over his shoulder but he stops me. “How much heartbreak can you have in one lifetime?”

I sit, aching for the pain Harry was going through. Knowing it was mirrored in me.

“I’ve had enough for a lifetime. I know that.”

“Me too.” Harry sighs. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.” I intertwine our hands. They still fit the exact same, all these years later. I examine them, but they looked the same too. I wonder if our baby girl ever looked at her hands, wondered who she inherited them from.

“D’you think she thinks about us?” Harry asks what I’m thinking.

“Maybe.” I say. “I like to think so. I just hope she doesn’t hate us for giving her up.”

“Yeah me too I think…” he hangs his head. I hear him sniffle. Seems like Harry hit the point of drinking where all you could feel is regret. I remember those days. I knew where he was.

When he doesn’t finish his sentence I fill the silence; “Me and Tatum split uh…four years ago now.” I update him. “You probably heard something about it. I remember my mum saying she ran into yours when it was happening. They probably talked all about it.”

I wait for Harry to give confirmation but he stays the way he is.

“I went sober a few years before then. Almost ruined our wedding cuz I was exactly where you were. Unprocessed grief and all I could do was drink about it. I’d given up a baby at 18, then lost a baby a decade later. It feels silly to say out loud, that something that never really came into this world—something the size of a fruit could act like the rock you push up the hill every morning. The grief you fight at your darkest times. How could we be haunted by something that didn’t even exist—not technically. But that’s just the way it was. And that’s the way it had to be when we were 18. I’m not always sure I made the right decision overall but I know it was a decision we had to make at the time. I’ve had to find my peace. So do you Harry.”

“Yeah. I-I have to. Y’know? Sometimes I wonder if I would have made her proud.” Harry sniffles. I had similar thoughts. My throat feels tight remembering. “I don’t think, right now, I would be.”

“She’s so loved. She is so loved Harry. Whatever…wherever she is.”

“I love you.” Harry turns to me. His face is raw with grief and emotion. “Never stopped loving you. But I don’t want to give you this version of me.”

“I’ll take any version of you Harry.” I reassure him. “I think we’ve seen too much of each other to be able to hide anything away.”

He tips forward slowly until his head rests on my chest. I hold him there, just like he’d done for me so many years ago. I tell him the type of thing that meant everything to me back then and I hope it helps him to hear it: “We’ll get through this Harry.”

***

“I don’t remember getting here.”

I look up from my book, Harry stands in my kitchen with a confused look on his face. It was weird seeing him here in my flat. But it was so right too.

“We walked home. I thought you sobered up.”

“Nuh-uh.” He takes a few steps towards me, hesitant.

“Coffee?”

“Maybe I’ll take a shower first?”

“First door on your right. Extra towels in the cupboard.”

“Thanks.”

We look at one another for a beat before he moves back. I make another pot of coffee and clean up from breakfast while he showers.

Next time he walks back in he looks a lot better. Smells nice too.

“Black please.” He says when I hold the coffee up.

I pour him a cup and watch him sip it.

“Thank you for last night.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” I tell him.

“I remember what you said to me. You’re right of course. I think I knew it, I just didn’t have anyone to talk to about it with. Nobody knew about us…”

“You didn’t have to keep it a secret ‘til this day Harry.” I was surprised he had. “You didn’t even tell any of your friends?”

“The only people who knew were my family, a-and Shan. But. Year after year it didn’t mean the same thing to her. I stopped talking to her about it pretty quickly. Think it made it worse because her and I couldn’t actually…”

“Yeah.” I understood.

“But I realized. I think it was losing both of you. I feel like you were taken away too. We just went from being around each other all the time to cold turkey. That was a loss too so…”

“Yeah.” Again, I understood.

“I’m 35. I’ve gotta…get my head on straight.”

I examine him. “Looks okay to me?”

He smiles and puts his cup down.

“I’m sorry to hear about your divorce.”

“Meh that was years ago. Hard then. Fine now. For the best.”

“I agree,” Harry moves around the table to stand where I am. My heart pulses just like it always does around him. He rests a hand on my hip, dragging it up to wrap around my waist. He must feel how hard my heart’s beating. “Did I tell you? That I love you?”

“Maybe?” I feel myself growing more present. The hole that always lived inside of me growing even smaller in this moment. It allows me to settle on the floor better; less air, more weight.

“Well I do. I love you. At 17, or at 35.” He says this with a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth.

“Well. I love you.” I return the kiss, relish in the way his hand grips my tank. “At 17, or 35.”

“Sometimes I wish I held on tighter at 17. But I look at you now and I’m excited to get to know you again.”

His words pour over me like honey. It was sweet we were still on the same page.

“I’m not letting you go this time.” Harry whispers in my ear. He pulls me in tight, swaying from side to side. “I want to spend 41 and 50 with you. I want all of you, every side.”

“Perfect,” I peer up at him. “That’s exactly what I want too.”

“And maybe one day,” he continues in a hush voice. “We’ll get a call from a young girl. She’ll tell us all about her life in a town up north. About a picture she has of her mother dressed like her father and her father dressed like her mother.”

“She’ll tell us she’s had a good life, and she’s thought about the people in the picture. She’d tell us she wants to meet them.”

“We would be able to show her the love we kept for her. Our love’s like a venn diagram, the bit in the middle is just for her. She’d know why she was born in the first place.”

“Closure,” I whisper to him. “We would know closure.”

I remember the day she was taken, how the loss of not even being able to see her felt bigger than the loss of her itself back then.

I think of a 17 year old girl, with green eyes and brown hair. With my smile and Harry’s dimples. My hands, and Harry’s height. She was loved by people, families, that she didn’t even know existed yet.

They say if you love something, let it go. If it’s meant to be it’ll come back.

As Harry and I stay intertwined in the kitchen of my flat, I send out a wish into the universe for her like I did most days. That she was healthy, happy, and one day curious enough to seek us out. That one day, she would come back.

Right now I focus on the man in my arms. The one I never thought I’d get to hold again. For now this was all I needed. I’d loved him, let him go, and after so many years apart, we were back.

#harry styles fic #writingsfromhome #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #fic #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry stylesxreader #read with caution #sad but hopeful #kinda nervous to post #this fic is qd

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042502 · 23 days

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Kiss Without Lips // C. Sturniolo x Reader.

SYNOPSIS: Chris went out to party and finds you attractive, he brings out all his knowledge of being a gallant... WARNINGS: Consumption of alcoholic beverages, appropriate language, dirty talk, sex in public, fast fingers, male receptive oral sex, etc. NOTES: My first language is not English, so if you find any grammatical errors you already know why :) so please avoid making offensive comments about it and if this is too much for you, go away. MASTERLIST!!

This was the situation, Dalma wanted to party as usual, I found myself dragged to crazy parties with her.

But today I especially didn't feel like being forced to go to these crazy parties. Especially since they always had the same ending...

"Hello? I'm sorry, have you seen a girl with blonde hair and a low-cut black dress?" He asked the third person at random.

"Girl, there are a thousand girls dressed like that here." The boy who seemed drunk answered me.

I walk a little further and ask another unknown person again.

"Hello? I'm sorry, have you seen a girl with blonde hair and a low-cut black dress?"

"I can't hear you bitch." He screams in my face, I could feel moisture on my face, thanks to the saliva he spat on me when he screamed.

I clean myself frustrated and continue my search, I was finally exhausted then I received a text message from Dalma.

Every party she takes me to ends in her sudden disappearance and after searching for her everywhere, that silly message arrives reminding me that she is abandoning me, again.

"I'm not going." "I respond determinedly.

"Damn girl! It's going to be one of the best parties in fucking history, you don't know how many cute guys will be there.It is truly an opportunity we cannot waste.”

"That you won't be able to waste, I'm not into hooking up with strangers."

"You're boring." He snorted, throwing himself on my bed.

We remained silent until he finally opened his mouth again.

"Maybe Emmett is there." My eyes met hers.

And like magic here we are, both at the crazy party that I didn't want to be at.

"Okay, listen." He took her by the shoulders. "I'm sorry to be harsh, but if you're not with me when it's time to leave, I'll leave without you."Deep down I knew she would leave first without me.

"That seems fine to me." He smiles and pulling my arm we enter the famous party.

The parties we attended weren't bad, we always started well, we drank, met people and danced a lot. The bitch was when Dalma disappeared and I was stupidly looking for her everywhere.

This party was looking good.

"Hey, Emmett must be where the drinks are, do me a favor and bring me a glass of vodka."

He hits my shoulder and walks away, I walk in the direction where Dalma told me the drinks are.

Emmett was a guy I met frequently at these parties and I admit we hooked up, we weren't complete strangers, I've seen him at several parties and we've talked enough not to consider him a stranger.

Since then, whenever we see each other at parties we hang out together there.

Emmett was where Dalma mentions, but he wasn't alone, he was running his hands over the tits of a blonde-haired girl.

Suppressing a feeling of pain and moving forward to grab one of the glasses near where he was standing. I had no intention of him noticing my presence... Or maybe he did.

"Oh, how are you?" He smiles at me when he sees me. "I didn't think you'd come today..."

The creep still keeps his hands on her, it's so disgusting.

I didn't answer him anything, he just raised the glass with my drink and shook it slightly and then guided it to my lips. He smiled and I became serious instantly and then turned my back on him and walked away from him.

"You look hot today!" He yells at me behind my back and gives him the middle finger without turning around.

I spent the rest of the night sitting drinking alone, because of course, Dalma is who knows where.

"Are you waiting for the love of your life?"

I turn slightly towards the new presence next to me, it is a boy with messy hair, a wide smile in a white t-shirt.

"Because if so, I have already arrived." Shows his teeth.

He smiled forcedly, I look ahead again to become serious and ignore him.

"Difficult public..."

"Get lost."

"In your eyes of course." She looked at him in disbelief, he still has that stupid smile on his face. “Why so fucking bitter? Didn’t your boy come?”

"He's with someone else."

Why am I telling you this?

"Auch.” He puts his hand to his chest, simulating non-existent pain. "Don't worry, it usually happens."

"As if it will happen to you."

"Yes, everything happens... Even for guys as handsome as me, you're lucky that today I'm fulfilling favors." I didn't understand what he was referring to. "Who is the bastard?"

Am I seriously going to tell this idiot who Emmett is?

"It's that guy who's sticking his fucking tongue down the blonde's throat." He gestured vaguely with my drink in his hands.

The boy next to me nods, looking in the direction I mentioned, then looks at me.

"I like brown hair girls better." Being an idiot again. "Please blondes are 95% oxygenated, it's not real."

"Good point." I thought of Dalma.

"Do you plan to stay here and watch that idiot have a good time?"

"Maybe."

"Oh please, let's do something fun."

"I hear you?" He laughs and walks closer to me.

"I bet you what you want that I can kiss you without my lips." I frowned in confusion.

"How would you do that?"

"Let's bet."

"What?" I laughed in his face.

"You close your eyes."

I hesitate for a moment but I close my eyes slowly and in an instant I feel lips on mine, I open my eyes instantly.

"Oops I lost ." Whisper close to me, you fucking idiot...

I drop my drink and hold his face with both hands and kiss him deeper. His hands travel to my waist, but they waste no time there as they quickly move to my butt, grabbing it tightly.

My device vibrates in my pocket, we separate and I see that it was Dalma saying that she had once again left with some handsome boy that she would later tell me.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" I asked him and he gives me another smile.

I don't know if it was because of Emmett's spite for being with another girl and the fact that Dalma abandoned me again, but I really wanted to fuck with this boy.

My back hit the brick wall, his mouth was fused with mine, I felt like his tongue had usurped my mouth, completely dominating the situation.

His hands did not stop mercilessly massaging my butt, while my hands only clung to his hair, messing it up even more.

"Someone can see us." He managed to say when his mouth released me and he began to kiss my neck.

"It's an empty hallway, what if they see us?" He murmurs against my skin.

"Shit…" I let out when he lowered my neckline, exposing one of my breasts to put it in his mouth and suck on it as if he were a little child.

"Imagine that bastard seeing you like that right now." His hand caresses my cheek.“It would be fucking crazy… to see you making out with a stranger in a dark corner of a party.” I could feel his other hand make its way between my legs, pulling aside my underwear to touch me. “Feeling his fingers inside you, your dripping pussy.”

His fingers buried themselves inside me and did not hesitate to penetrate me decisively. Damn, I felt like two of his long, bony fingers entered and left my entrance without mercy, my lips opened in a gasp.

"Do you want to say something?" He runs his tongue over my bottom lip and my hips move against his hand asking for more. "Do you want to shout it?"

"Fuck…"

His fingers stop and my thighs grip his hand. He laughs with his nose and brings our mouths together again while unbuttoning his pants.

I had the intention of leaning over, but he grabbed my arm and turned me around, trapped between him and the brick wall.

"Sorry pretty girl, but I can't handle a blowjob right now." He caresses my entrance with his member.

Shit, he was hard, and without further ado he penetrated me, his hands held onto my waist, the movements were rhythmic and precise, as if he knew exactly how to move.

"Don't stop, please." I moaned regardless of whether they could hear me, although I doubted it because the music was loud enough.

One of his hands leaves my waist and catches my neck, this was enough for my legs to fail me and my walls to close, squeezing his member, I could feel even more at this, a heartbreaking scream comes out of my mouth.

"Fuck!"

I had reached the climax point, he still penetrates me with the same intensity, when I felt that the abandonment inside me was going to come.

"Give it to me."

I asked and I leaned over opening my mouth in front of him, he seemed to resist, but when my tongue made contact with his length he couldn't take it anymore and gave in to my mouth.

I suck for a moment and then I shake it with my tongue out waiting for him, his eyes close and immediately I receive his messy shots.

Never in my life have I had a situation as hot as this. I stand up after cleaning his intimacy with my tongue.

We both put on our clothes and walked back to the party, when Emmett and the girl saw us, to my surprise the girl was running towards me...

He passes by my presence and shouts.

"¡Christopher!" He looked behind me and I see her addressing the boy. "What were you doing? “Hey, you didn’t mention you were coming.” She seems to be flirting with him, because she ran her hands over his shoulders almost in a sensual way.

"I was fucking her." He points at me and I widen my eyes. “You know, I like girls with brown hair.” He smiles cheekily and the blonde pushes him to walk away from our presence.

On the other hand, Emmett looked at us from a distance with suspicion.

"Was it necessary... Christopher?"

He approaches me, pressing his body against me, I could feel how they were attaching themselves to my rear.

"I prefer Chris."

"Well Chris, was it necessary?"

"So much for telling you that I'm a magician."

"Wizard? Like that cheap lipless kiss trick? Scoundrel."

"So much for telling you that I have your thong in my hands." He extends his hand in front of me and opens it, revealing my underwear in his hand.

I let out a surprised moan and hit his arm and tried to snatch the garment from him, but he is faster than me and hides it in his pocket.

"You'll have to come get them..."

Saying this, he began to walk away from me, I bit my lip and ran to catch up with him. He turned around and when he saw me running towards him, he smiled, putting his arm over my shoulders, sticking me close to him, to continue walking together.

NOTES: Remember to hit the heart and share it with your friends! Thanks for reading^^ If you want to be on the taglist, comment on the post posted on my profile.

TAGLIST: @luverboychris @alexandernvr @prisciliin @sturncakez @imwetforyourmom

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kxizoku-ou · 14 days

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CP9 Cat Headcanons

This is... a very silly post. XD After seeing a similar concept on Pixiv (images 10–12 in this log) and critiquing the breed choices it used, I wound up writing my own take on it.

These are written with actual cats in mind (not my usual Hybrid Au), and the breed choices are just for fun— as in, largely chosen based on looks/vibes, not anything too serious. I was definitely channeling that early 2000s "characters are cats for some reason now" mini-genre, so these are pure fluff/comedy, for once... >3>

. . .

Lucci

(Bengal)

Serial toy murderer. Violently destroys any and every toy you give him within a matter of hours, days at MOST.

Some of the things he’s done to his toys probably qualify as war crimes tbh. Likes to drown the catnip mice in his water dish. Also enjoys tearing things into ragged chunks/”gutting” the stuffing.

Sometimes you wake up to him on your chest with a present.

(A chunk of mutilated cat toy. He drops it onto your face.)

The most athletic cat you’ll ever know. There is no surface in your house he can’t reach SOMEHOW. Also can and will learn how to open doors, drawers, etc, and will use this unfortunate skill to get into everything if he’s bored.

Affectionate, but only on his terms. You don’t decide when you’re allowed to pet him; when the mood strikes, he’ll interrupt whatever you’re doing and forcefully put his body in your lap.

You’re not allowed to move until he decides you’re done. :)

Has a surprisingly cute kneading habit. He’ll go Baby Mode and make biscuits for hours. Sucks on certain blankets too.

Kaku

(Devon Rex)

ZOOMIES TO THE MAX.

Seemingly never sits still. Will run from one end of your house to the other at all hours of the day. At night, you’re regularly woken up by the distinct rapid thumping of galloping kitty paws.

Likes high places and unexpected perching spots. This includes your shoulder— and he can make the jump on his own!

Playful, but not prone to destroying his toys. Prefers batting hard objects down a flight of stairs to tearing the plush ones open.

Too brave (and curious) for his own good. Lacks any sense of danger when it comes to investigating something that’s caught his interest.

This includes slipping through the front door.

Not super cuddly, but likes being near you/keeping an eye on what you’re doing.

Has a squeaky “old man” meow. WEH!

Jabra

(Egyptian Mau)

Wild, playful, curious, and so very destructive. If he’s not kept entertained, your property will suffer for it.

Requires FREQUENT play and attention, but fortunately, he’s not too hard to please. Throwing a squishy ball for “fetch” can keep him occupied for hours.

The asshole cat who will make direct eye contact with you before (very deliberately) knocking something off a shelf, then sit there smugly while you try to scold him.

Very talkative! When he wants your attention, he YELLS, and seeing wildlife outside always brings out that excited, bloodthirsty chitter.

Taking him to the vet is an ordeal, for everyone involved...

Doesn’t mind being pet and handled. Pesters you for affection regularly, but gets bitey when he’s had enough. :/

Highly territorial. Will not tolerate other cats/animals near him.

Kalifa

(Turkish Angora)

Truly the embodiment of the “disdainful gorgeous fancy cat” trope.

Her fur is incredible, due largely in part to near-constant grooming. Do NOT interrupt her washing.

She’ll wash your fingers too if she’s feeling affectionate. Mlem mlem mlemmmm...

Likes to be involved in what you’re doing. The kind of cat to walk across your keyboard or loaf-sit on top of stray paperwork, seemingly oblivious to how badly she’s getting in the way.

At least your “adorable secretary” makes for good moral support!

Not overly playful, but she can be a DEADLY hunter when the mood strikes— fast, agile, and with amazing reflexes no matter what kind of toy you put in front of her.

Weirdly fickle about when you’re allowed to touch her. Will glare, hiss, and swat at fingers if you test those boundaries.

Blueno

(Norwegian Forest Cat)

The most quiet, low-maintenance, independent cat imaginable. You nearly forget he exists, sometimes.

Not much of a meower, but has a deep, calming, rumbly purr.

Content to curl up on a chair or in a corner and let you go about your day! He’ll alternate between napping and silently staring in your general direction; the eye contact is a sign of affection. <3

Won’t seek out attention on his own, but also won’t fight it if you pick him up and carry him around like a plushie.

...he stays limp and docile no matter what you do to him, actually.

Needs regular brushing, or his fur starts to matt. It’s pretty much the only “extra attention” he’ll require, though, and he’s (fortunately) cooperative about it.

Learned how to open doors at some point. You don’t know how he managed that.

Fukurou

(Persian)

R O U N D (and it’s not just fluff)

Despite being shaped like a furry bowling ball, he’s quite playful, and way more agile/fast-moving than you’d expect.

...that energy is much less cute when his full weight lands on your abdomen in the middle of the night, however.

VERY affectionate. Will take any opportunity to lay his chin on your palm, headbutt your shoulder/wrists, put his paws on your chest so he can try to lovingly lick your face, etc— purring all the while!

Chatty cat!! Chirps and squeaks at you non-stop; if you “respond” to him, it turns into a back-and-forth conversation with his mrrep-ing.

Fond of high places, like bookshelves and tall dressers.

It’s unclear how such a heavy cat manages to get up onto them, but he usually ends up yowling for help when he can’t get back down.

Kumadori

(British Longhair)

A huge, massively fluffy mini-lion of a cat, with that “polite little gentleman” face common in his breed.

Sheds. Sheds SO MUCH. All of your clothes are covered in his fur, no matter how hard you try to keep him thoroughly brushed.

You cannot escape the fluff.

YOWLS. The loudest, most determined drama queen when he wants something. Acts like he’s dying if his food bowl is empty for more than half an hour, non-stop howling included.

Extremely cuddly; wants as much attention from you as you’ll give, and will flop his entire body into your lap to get it.

Fond of jingly toys! The louder and more annoying the bell, the better.

If you ever have to give him medicine (be it a pill or liquid), he’s utterly betrayed. Gives you the huge, sad, miserable scared-kitty eyes for the rest of the evening, and won’t let you touch him.

(He’s over it by morning, and back to purring in your arms. Baby.)

Spandam

(Siamese)

The ugliest purebred imaginable, and his personality isn’t better. <3

Health issues. Skin/coat problems, numerous food sensitivities, arthritis, frequent UTIs, and a crooked tail from a past injury.

King of separation anxiety. If he can’t find you, he’s HOWLING, then finding a corner to cower in until his protector is back.

Truly the embodiment of the phrase “scardey cat”. Terrified of everything from the vacuum to rustling plastic bags. Huddles under the couch, trembling pathetically, after every little scare.

...it is kind of cute when he runs to you to “save” him, however.

This clumsy dumbass WILL get himself hurt (in incredibly stupid ways) if you don’t keep an eye on him. Utterly oblivious to real danger.

His distressed yowling is awful, and the attention-demanding yells aren’t much better. The classic So So Whiney Baby Siamese!

NEEDS to be the only cat in the household— he’s violently territorial, but guaranteed to end up the other cat’s punching bag once he’s pissed them off enough.

#One Piece #CP9 #CP0 #Lucci #Rob Lucci #Kaku #Jabra #Kalifa #Blueno #Fukurou #Kumadori #Spandam #Headcanon #Reader

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sweetkpopmusings · 1 year

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jeonghan best friend headcanons <3

a/n: posting this for the lovely anon who requested it ! <3 jeonghan is a libra icon and my best friend's contact photo in my phone is a silly photo of jeonghan like i love him sm actually <333

content: fluff | wc: 0.8k | warnings: none! | pairing: bestfriend!jeonghan x gn!reader | requests: open

he is SUCH a caring best friend

he's so observant with the people he is closest to, which means you can't get away with anything when it comes to jeonghan

he probably knows you're getting sick before you do. he can just tell your sneeze is different and he's making you tea and nagging you about how to avoid getting ill

and you're like bro ?? i just sneezed ??

but a few days later you're down with a cold and he's gloating about the fact he knew you were getting sick like he's being so annoying about it because he's so competitive <3

don't worry he's also dropping off a care package so you can get well soon!!

he jokes that he won't come near you because he doesn't want to catch the plague but in reality he'll come inside and make sure you have enough food, water, blankets, etc.

he also knows when you're overworked/stressed/exhausted before most other people see the signs

so he'll check in on you a lil more frequently but he won't push it until you are ready to open up about it

while he wants to give tons of advice to help you, whenever you vent to him, he just listens very intently and comforts you and validates all your feelings and will only offer his insight when you ask/have finished expressing your thoughts

you get to hear ALL of his laughs. i mean ALL of them!!!

sometimes you're just standing in line getting coffee and he starts laughing because you made a funny face at a weird thing a stranger said

now what that stranger said has become an inside joke and you two will say it to each other every once in a while for a good laugh

you have a lot of lil inside jokes/phrases/sounds/hand gestures that you do together

sometimes they're so strange it's concerning to outsiders but everyone who knows you and jeonghan knows that it's just your special little language :,-)

he has a dumb nickname for you that he uses in every way possible. tbh sometimes you wonder if he even remembers your name because you never hear him say it, he always addresses cards to your nickname, etc

but if someone else uses that dumb nickname ??? jeonghan is immediately >:-( because that's HIS nickname for HIS best friend

it's like a prideful thing that he gets to call you that lol

when you give him a dumb nickname, he laughs so hard the first time you use it that you're worried you broke his brain

he giggles at it every time you say it for about 6 months because it's so funny to him and he thinks you're adorable :,-)

i think he's the type of best friend that wants to know all about your family (whether biological or chosen) and friends

like he's always asking you how so-and-so is doing, did your cousin get that job they wanted, and how was your coworker's dog's birthday

sometimes it's shocking that he remembers so much about people in your life that he's never met but he's genuinely interested because they matter to you! and he's a big fan of you spilling the tea lmfao

he also loves sharing that kind of info with you about his family and friends so you just walk around with a wealth of knowledge on jeonghan's sister's friendgroup drama you and jeonghan gossip about it regularly

big fan of self-care nights!

when he wants to hang out, it pretty much means he wants to sit around, eat food, do face masks, and watch funny videos together

depending on his mood it's either a night filled with chitchat or a night filled with comfortable silence but either way it's some of the most fun you've ever had

he also loves playing games with you

and he cheats every time <3 if you win when he cheats he'll be so proud <3 and brag about it to his members <3

he also definitely teaches you how to cheat so whenever you two are playing games with other friends you can team up and unleash absolute chaos

seventeen complains about there being two jeonghans whenever you're around

and jeonghan's always like "yeah and???" and seungkwan's across the room glaring at you ready to give a big speech on integrity he's just mad because y'all pranked him the day before and dino got video of him looking shocked and embarrassed

it's always fun to watch you two together because after becoming so close you share a braincell and it's so endearing to witness two besties being besties

at the core of it, jeonghan is a super solid best friend who values you and all the wonderful things you bring to the friendship and his life

sometimes jeonghan's babying you. most other times he's being a demon. through it all, he's always showing you how much he loves you and cherishes you <3

i would like to put in a request for one jeonghan thank you very much !

#seventeen #seventeen headcanons #bestfriend!seventeen #seventeen imagines #svt #jeonghan #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan fluff #svt jeonghan #svt headcanons #seventeen au #svt au #yoon jeonghan #sweetkpopmusings

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maiyami · 2 years

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𝑀𝒶𝓎𝒷𝑒 𝐼𝓉 𝒲𝒶𝓈 𝒜 𝒟𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂

“She was there…I swear she was.”

Keigo Takami X Female Reader

One-Shot

Minors do not interact. 18+

Unedited, I’m very sorry about that.

Content: Mentions of past relationship, dream walking, nsfw, dreams, hawks believes he sees his ex-girlfriend, open ended ending, smut, adult language, sex, trigger warnings, etc.

———————————————————————————

It was just another night, crispy air surrounded Keigo as he made his way back to his penthouse. Back, wings, arm, legs…anything that could be sore and tired was. With a loud huff, he slid open the sliding glass door. Shimming his way through before taking in his now barren looking living room.

It actually sadden his soul, even though it’d been months…he still missed your presence. The scent of your vanilla perfume floating around your once shared space, and the way you beamed at him when he finally was able to come home. He wasn’t even sure he should still be this upset, one day you were here then the next gone. Never getting an explanation as to why you left.

With an even deeper sigh, he kicked his boots off. Shrugged off his jacket, throwing it over the couch before sulking off to the bathroom. Maybe an extremely cold shower will shake him out of the mood. Even though he knew it wouldn’t. He had become so accustomed to putting the water hotter than hell itself for you that it just came naturally once he started the shower.

A defeated chuckle left his lips, remembering how many times you’d both bicker over the temperature. Thinking how silly it all was now, how silly he was that he couldn’t just let you want to melt both your skin off with the heat. He remembered the little pout everytime on your adorable features when he even attempted to turn it cooler. Saying something along the lines of how your quirk didn’t keep you warm like his wings do for him. He always liked to play over that look on your face anytime he went into a too hot shower.

Exiting the bathroom now, he finally decided enough with these pesky emotions. Sleep will make it better, sleep always made things better for him. He can get lost in whatever his mind comes up with. Losing his towel that sat low on his hips, he planted himself flat on his stomach. Wispy hairs all over his pillow as slept took over his body.

———————————————————————————

Keigo blinked his eyes open, furrowing his brows. A dreamless night? That was new, even for him. A groan slipping from his lips, he turned himself to his back. Staring up at his ceiling fan, watching the blades turn ever so slowly until a giggle graced his ears. He shot himself upright, he knew that giggle anywhere. When his eyes finally adjusted to the dim room, he saw you.

There you were, standing near the corner of his bedroom. Your bright eyes piercing through the darkness to lock onto his golden ones. Hair cascading down your back into a low ponytail just how you used to wear it. Not to mention the lack of clothing not snugging your amazing body.

Another beautiful giggle slipped from your throat before tilting your head. “Miss me, pretty bird?” The nickname you dubbed him many moons ago, it was music to his ears. You were artwork to his eyes. All he could do is sit there, in all his glory staring back at you with his mouth hanging open. Why were you back? You had quiet literally fallen off the face of the earth. No one had heard from you. But now here you are, standing naked in his room.

“Keigo…are you not happy to see me?” Your voice almost sounded innocent, maybe a little timid. You started toward, light on your toes as you came up on your knees at the foot of the bed.

Keigo couldn’t help but look over your body, your perfect skin. How your nipples hardened in the cool air of the room, or how your thighs looked so plush pushed together as your knees touched. He felt arousal build in his stomach, it tingled all the way down to his cock. The throb couldn’t be ignored, trying to push his lewd thoughts out of his mind to try and speak.

“Y/N…what- what are you doing here?” His voice almost sounded foreign to himself. It rang in his ears, made him flush from cheek to cheek. “You’ve been missing? Everyone went looking for you…why are you here?” He couldn’t wrap his head around this, he also couldn’t understand how he didn’t feel you come inside. He lays his feather out everywhere through his penthouse…he would have felt you come inside.

You sort of just sighed, looking over him before your eyes peered down at his hardening erection before trailing them back up to his face. “I’m missing, Keigo? Why haven’t you found me yet?” You felt forward onto your palms, crawling your way up to him. You could physically see his body freeze, almost like he didn’t know what to do with himself. Finally you sat perfectly on his lap, thighs caging him down. “Won’t you come find me?” You whispered this time, leaning forward to press your bare chest to his.

“Find you? But you’re here…here with me.” He whispered back, thinking this was just some game you decided to play. He hesitated to touch you, handing coming up before balling into fists. “You left me…without a word.” There was a little venom in that sentence, hurt flashing in his eyes. He felt you reach down, grabbing his hands to place them on your hips. You were here, he could feel your skin under his. In his palms, giving you a soft squeeze.

“I’ll never leave you again…never.” You whispered back, leaning forward to press your lips to his. That’s when the restraint Keigo was holding in finally snapped. He gripped you tighter, forcing his tongue into your mouth. Sweet, you taste sweet. Like cream and strawberries on his tongue, it was intoxicating. Your vanilla scent filled the room as Keigo broke the kiss off. Moving to plant kisses down your neck.

"Never fucking again..." He murmurs against your skin, lifting your hips up ever so slightly. Letting the head of his cock brush against your slick folds. The physical shutter you felt come out of him was something out of this world. How wet you were melted all of Keigo's fears away. This was no dream, you were here. In his arms, about to sit pretty on his cock. Bringing you down slowly, he split you in two. He wasn't sure if it was from how long it's been since he's had sex or that this was just the power you had over him, but he felt like he was hit by a truck of lust.

With every drag of his cock, your walls tightened around him. Sucking him in deeper and deeper. Your warm walls felt like heaven, at least the closest thing he was ever going to get that would resemble heaven. He looked up, watching the pleasure take over your irises. Watching your head fall back and be lost in the feeling of his touch. He wanted to savor this moment, replay it in his mind over and over again until the day he dies.

The way your slick cunt was moving up and down on him was breathtaking. So he gripped you tighter, deciding to thrust up into you with long and calculated strokes. Bringing you all the way down to his base, his head bullying its way against your cervix. If he died right now? He would be the happiest man that ever did walk this plain of life. The feeling of your nails digging crescent marks into his tanned skin was enough to drive him wild.

As you bounced up and down his cock, he let one of his feathers pluck itself out of his wings. Spreading them wide as that little feather slipped in between you both. Until it reached your clit, pressing teasingly slow circles against that extra sensitive spot of yours. The surprised moan that you let out brought a cheeky smirk to his lips.

"That's it baby...lose yourself on my cock. Fucking cum...make a goddamn mess...Y/N...fuck-" He moaned out loudly, thrusting up into you with a brutal pace. It was enough to make you see the stars in the sky, and feel every nerve in your body ignite.

As you cried out a gurgled mix of fuck and his name, you came undone on his cock. Your slick dripping down his cock, red marks deepened into his skin before your walls squeezed with all their power around his cock. A gasp left his lips, making him thrust even harder into you before sputtering out moan after moan.

"Fuck-FUCK...gonna cum...shit- baby bird I am going to fucking cum...can I-" Before he could even finish that sentence, you locked lips with him one last time. Not giving him any room to pull out of your already dripping cunt.

Feeling his whole body shake, he pulled you tight against his chest. Painting your walls white before finally breaking from your crushing kiss. His breathing was heavy, the room smelt like sex, and his vision was blurred. You leaned in, letting your lips just brush the shell of his ear.

"Keigo...I need you to wake up."

Suddenly, Keigo's eyes shot open. Sitting himself upright to take a survey of the room. The room smelt like clean sheets, with the underline smell of musk. His body felt hot, while the sticky feeling of his spent tickled his torso. Looking to the side of the bed that was once yours, you were still not there. Was it all a dream? It couldn't have been, he felt you in his hands, against his skin, and on his cock.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, he returned to work as normal. However, your imagine was gnawing at the back of his mind. He couldn't shake the feeling of you. As he sat at his desk, mulling over what he should do...an old friend decided to stop by.

Endeavor came stomping through his door, disappointment gracing his features as he looked at the Number Two Hero "relaxing" at his desk. His fire flared, slamming a hand onto the desk to get Keigo's attention.

"Hawks! How dare you sit around and do nothing. Shouldn't you be out on patrol." Like Endeavor had any right coming into Keigo's agency and yelling at him as if he was a sidekick. Keigo just glared at him, something that rarely came from the calm and cool winged hero.

"Y/H/N-" He started to say, getting a cocked eyebrow from the flaming hero. "She came to my house last night...she was there...I swear she was...standing in my room. In my bed-" Keigo cut himself off before finally making eye contact with Endeavor.

However, the flamed hero said nothing. He looked over at Keigo before motioning him to follow. Now the winged hero was raising a brow, lifting himself up to follow the Number One Hero out onto the balcony.

Once they were both finally outside, Endeavor let out a heavy sigh. "When Y/H/N first went missing, I sent out a sidekick to do some digging." This surprised Keigo, everyone had given up trying to find you. Even he himself had just given up, believing that you just didn't want to be found.

Endeavor handed a packet to Keigo, telling him to open it. What was inside it? Damn near made his heart stop. It was your cracked cellphone, with one half-typed text message that was never sent. It was to Keigo's personal cellphone number.

"I need help, LoV is after me. Dabi foun-"

Keigo looked at Endeavor, his fist gripping the cell phone tight. The rage in his eyes could stop anyone in their tracks. "Y/N- said to me that I need to find her. I thought it was real...but she came to me in a dream. She isn't missing, she's been taken."

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brighteyedbushybrowed · 2 years

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𝐄𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 - 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

Obviously it goes without saying that these headcanons are 18+ only, MINORS DNI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Eddie is massive on aftercare. He needs his partner to know he loves them and cares about them and vice versa. He’ll clean you up, get you a glass of water, cuddle if cuddling is what you need. In return, Eddie also needs to be touched in some way as it helps to ground him. Things like stroking his arm, playing with his hair, kissing him.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of their partner’s)

This man is absolutely an ass, thigh, and chest man. He loves ass, no matter what it looks like. He loves to smack it, squeeze it, squish it, pinch it. He loves big squishy thighs he can hold onto and bite. He is also an advocate for chests of all sizes. If you have a large chest, you can bet he will be fucking it and watching himself cum on you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He cums a lot. He loves it when you snowball with him and he will make you lick and suck cum off your own fingers. He also really likes watching himself cum, especially after he’s been edging himself.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Loves hiding somewhere he could get caught while jerking off sometimes. If he thinks you’re going to catch him, he gets off on it even more. Sometimes he’ll fantasise about you walking in on him and it makes him even more horny.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I’m not saying Eddie doesn’t get bitches, but I don’t think he has a wealth of experience. He probably experimented when he was high and figured out some of the stuff he likes as well as how to make others feel good generally.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He wants you to ride him all night long. That way if you have tits he can watch them bounce. He will suck and play with your nipples while you slowly ride and grind on him and tell him how much of a pretty boy he is with his lips around your nipple.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It depends on the situation. If you’re nervous or it’s your first time having sex with each other as part of a relationship, he’ll be silly and make jokes to distract you and put you at ease. However, there are certain situations where he’ll just be serious and talk absolute filth into your ear while he fucks you senselss.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He does have a bush down there, but he keeps it trimmed and looks after it. Eddie doesn’t really see the point of shaving. It’s not like you’re just going to stare and judge his hair when you’re having sex.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

If he’s really worked up and sexually frustrated, he isn’t very romantic. The rest of the time, however, he likes to tell you he loves you during sex. The first time he does that and you say it back he starts crying because wow holy shit you love him back?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Eddie’s constantly jerking off and touching himself, especially prior to your relationship with him. He’ll do it multiple times in one sitting too because he loves that overstimulation feeling where he just can’t stop cumming. He has a bottle of lotion in the bottom of his drawer and a box of tissues near the bed ready for whenever he needs to rub one out.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Edging. He fucking loves when you edge him because the pay off feels so good and he cums so hard that his thoughts turn to fuzz. On the flip side, he loves edging you too especially after he’s been teasing you all day. Seeing the look on your face when you finally cum sticks with him for a long time afterwards.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Aside from his van, he loves bending you over a dining table or kitchen surface and fucking you slowly so that you’ll remember what you both did there the next time you’re at the table.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Call him your pretty boy. My god, you do that and he is putty in your hands. Tease him while calling him pretty boy? That’s it, he’s gone, you can do whatever you want to him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Doesn’t do piss kinks, scat, blood, definitely doesn’t do things to intentionally hurt you or cause injury. If he injures you during sex he’ll feel really bad about it and will be hesitant about having sex again for a couple days after that because he’s paranoid about hurting you again.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

You can’t tell me that Eddie Munson doesn’t have an oral fixation. He’s contstantly got something on or in his mouth. He eats pussy and/or ass as if he’s a man starved. If you’ve got a dick, he will suck it like it’s a popsicle during a heatwave. He does like to receive oral, but my god does he get off on giving. He will even touch himself or rut against something while doing it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Honestly his pace depends on the mood. If he’s frustrated, angry, annoyed, he will fuck you fast and rough until you’re screaming his name. If he’s feeling more tender or needs to feel that you’re there and you’re real he’ll go slower and will be more passionate in the way of touches and kisses.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Eddie likes a good quickie somewhere where there’s a risk of getting caught, such as his van, a bathroom, at a party. He’ll also be up for a quickie if he’s desperate but doesn’t have the time to go slowly and doesn’t want to jerk off.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s willing to try anything as long as it doesn’t venture into the no zone of kinks.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Usually he can go for a few rounds. If he’s sexually frustrated and very horny then he doesn’t last long because he goes too fast and the touch is all too much for him to be able to hold back.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He’ll get embarrassed about it when you first find them, but he does have a couple of vibrators and dildos for when you’re unavailable and he needs more than his hand. You walked in on him once going to town riding a dildo and he came there and then while you watched him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Boy does this man love to tease. He’ll tease you for days on end sometimes just to rile you up because it can make the sex better.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not a wildly loud guy unless he’s overstimulated or being edged. If he’s particularly desperate or feels really good, his moans will become high pitched and more whiny.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He likes stealing your underwear so that he can fuck his fist with it draped over his cock or his nose depending on what he’s fantasising about. If he cums in your underwear from doing that, he’ll show you the next time you see him and he’ll tell you all about how amazing it felt to do that.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

No six pack or big muscles. He has a little bit of fat on his thighs and ass, which he loves getting smacked by you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He’s so horny all the damn time. He’s always down for a good fuck or a nice jerking off session.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sometimes he’ll fall asleep straight after sex if it’s at night or in the morning. Poor man struggles to sleep most of the time, so sex helps him to sleep through the night better.

#spicy content #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson headcanons #smut #headcanons

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wooahaes · 1 year

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the struggle of gift giving

pairing: non-idol!haruto x gn!reader

prompt: penguins

word count: 0.7k~

warnings: n/a just fluff tbh.

daisy’s notes: did you know i took a love language quiz and gift giving was 0% for me.

Haruto prided himself on not getting too invested in gifts. Except... this time, you’d wrapped his present in wrapping paper with penguins on it. And now he was dwelling on it more than he’d ever done in the past.

The thing about your friendship-turned-romance with Haruto was that he was used to your presents. Usually they were smaller things, due to being limited what was initially your allowance, but they were from the heart. With you attending university and having a part-time job, you’d been hinting that you’d save up to give him something more special now that you could afford to do so. He’d told you that you didn’t have to, but you’d merely smiled at him.

“You’re my boyfriend now, silly,” you’d said, “it’s law that I get you something extra nice.”

(You always knew how to make him smile with the cute way you said things. Or maybe it was just hearing you call him your boyfriend again. Silly as it felt to say, he liked having that title.)

Just... why penguins? He’d watched you move about your kitchen, savoring a little time with you alone while your parents were at work (you’d tease him about the fact you had homework you needed to do, but he’d happily sit near you and watch you work if that was what you wanted--just being close to you was enough for him), and he tried to push his thoughts away from the present you’d gotten him.

Truthfully... he himself was cutting it pretty damn close. You hadn’t told him anything you wanted, and he’d been admittedly a little lost on what he could get you. The two of you had only started officially going out a few months ago, but this struggle had spanned your entire friendship, too.

“You’re quiet,” you mused aloud, still busy with making snacks for the two of you. “What’s wrong?”

He looked up. “Do you like penguins?”

That caught you off guard, and you turned to him. “What?” And then you shrugged, “I guess.”

“Oh.”

You continued with slicing fruit. “I just think they’re cute,” you said. “Like you.”

Despite what some people thought, Haruto would grow speechless easily when you dropped comments so casually into your conversations. Calling him handsome and cute and all the sweet things you saved for him... he’d always look away, face growing warmer at the way you treated it as fact. Like saying the sky was blue or that grass was traditionally green: Haruto was cute, handsome, etc... and that was just your truth.

“I’m not telling you what I got you,” you said. “You can wait.”

Haruto sighed. “Then tell me what you want.”

“I told you already,” you said, “I don’t need anything. I just like giving people things.”

“That isn’t fair,” he said. “What if I want to get you something nice?”

“I’ll be happy with anything you get me,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek as you came over with a plate of snacks. But you heard the way his phone chimed with a text from his mom, asking if he could bring something home to help with dinner. He watched the way you frowned, already knowing. “Are you leaving?”

He pulled you into his arms. “You can call me after I get home,” he said. Yet he stood there, just holding you in his arms an extra moment.

“Ah... You’re sappy sometimes,” you fake complained from his embrace, but he could feel the way you squeezed him extra tight. You quickly pressed a peck against his lips. “Tell your mom I said hi,” you giggled, and then pulled away from him.

He left your home soon enough, making his way down the street. He’d pick up eggs at a store closer to his house rather than risk breaking them on the journey home. In the meantime, he’d maybe take a little time to window shop. You always liked when the two of you could match in little ways, sure, and he’d been thinking about getting rings for the two of you since you expressed thinking that was cute...

Then he stopped, seeing two penguin-shaped water bottles within a store window. One was red and the other was black. Sure, they were small, but the two of you would be matching...

Haruto immediately head into the store to buy a pair, smiling to himself as the cashier bagged his purchase for him. Now he just needed to find his own penguin wrapping paper for the box... just to see your cute smile when you saw it.

taglist: @twancingyunhao

#wooahaes.fic #treasure imagine #treasure x reader #treasure x you #treasure fics #treasure fluff #wooahaes.dec22 #haruto x reader #haruto x you #watanabe haruto x reader #watanabe haruto x you

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cptnleviackerman · 3 months

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hi hiii, 🐼💘🍼🎟 for the ask game!

omg thank you so much for asking so many questions!! I loved answering these so much!! sending you big hugs rn◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

I think I went insanely overboard with these answers omg so I'm putting them under the cut :')

🐼 – what’s the silliest nickname(s) you have for each other?

I think we're both pretty non silly when it comes to petnames/nicknames, so the sillest names we call eachother probably aren't even that silly ahah

I love to call levi sweetie, so when I'm teasing him or trying to get his attention I call him my sweetie pie and I always find that his head snaps in my direction aksksjs he looks at me like I've lost it, (I do kinda like it though, so I'm not going to stop) also I called him my honey bun once and... I don't think I've ever seen him react like that for anything else, ever

also, this is not so silly, but I love to call him my angel, I love how red his face gets, and sometimes he tuts and rolls his eyes but eeee I know he loves it so much:((

the most outlandish and silly name levi calls me is probably wifey, and he uses so sparesly that I have to physically stop myself from reacting when he says it bec I don't want him to get shy or embarrassed about it, even though I love it so much

💘 – how do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?

if we both have a free day then we spend the whole day together tehe. we'll have a small lie in, this is one of the very rare occasions levi let's me keep him in bed in the morning, and we'll get up about 10/10.30am, after having cuddles (and most likely some mornings kisses...) I usually try to make him breakfast in bed, but he can't bare to sit in the bedroom on his own while I make it, so he usually joins me in the kitchen after about 10 minutes--he'll have his adorable dressing gown and slippers on and I absolutely love the sight. he'll make us coffee while I make us food hehe. I love a chill day though so we'll spend most of the day watching some tv, a couple movies or some episodes of our current show, and we'll snack throughout the day, somehow missing lunch bec we're too full 🫣🫣 Levi will also insist on us going out for a walk around the park, just for some fresh air, and I love to drag him to all the shops I can while we're out so I can browse all the cute valentine stuff (he usually ends up buying me a couple extra gifts bec he's the cutest ever)

we'll ofc have dinner together at the end of the day, but if our january is busy and chaotic and we're both feeling stressed and tired then we'll order a takeaway and eat it at home--Levi will set up the dinner table with candles and the fresh bouquet of flowers he got me, and we'll put on some nice music and eat and chat together. but if we both feel up to it then we'll go out for dinner! usually just to our favourite date restaurant, but we always try to order some fancy, new dessert to try!

and if we're both busy during the day because of work(which unfortunately is a fairly common occurrence for our valentine's) then we'll just have a nice dinner together--takeaway or eating at a restaurant, same as above.

🍼 – want any kids? how many?

we do want kids! but I don't think I'm anywhere near ready right now, and so every time I think about kids I get really scared and freaked out, but if we were to have kids, years in the future probably, I think I'd like to have two. every time I imagine levi as a dad I just get such a warm feeling, he's the most patient and calm man whenever he's with children, and when I see him talking and playing with my little cousins it makes me insanely happy.

levi had never really thought about kids until we were about 2 years into our relationship, but we've had many discussions about kids, and we're always keeping the other updated about our thoughts. in our chats Levi's said that if we had kids he'd want two, or three.

🎟️ – do you go to live entertainment together (concerts, plays, etc.)?

I am obsessed with concerts, I love them so so much, but levi is not much of a fan of big arenas or stadium concerts, so if we go to one together we usually stick to a small venue. he loves coming with me though, and seeing me so happy and comfortable in that environment, but theres not a big overlap in our styles of music, so if we go together, he usually just goes for me, and to watch over me hehe

we very occasionally go to the theatre together, if there's good performances happening close to us! levi doesn't like to travel too far just for a couple of hours, so if he really wants to see a play then we make a whole trip out of it and we'll stay 2 or 3 nights

#this was so so much fun #THANK YOU FOR SENDING THESE MY LOVEEE #i had so much fun and it made me really happy!!:(#asks #mutuals #ask games #levi.love #milky-aeons

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alwaysthesitter · 1 year

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Alright, after just rewatching every Steve scene from S3 (which gladly took me way longer than 1 and 2 because he is such a key role by this point yayyy), I have come up with a long ass list of head canons. Apologies for how long this post is going to be. Also, first hc has a slight trigger warning for ED, though not really. But don't want to set anyone off accidentally.

Steve has body issues. I kind of already head canon this, but I think it became more apparent for me in S3. My Steve very much thinks he's only good for a 'pretty face' and 'sexual prowess' due to everything, and this just confirmed for me that Steve will do anything to make sure he maintains his good looks. It first gets brought up when Dustin mentions the unlimited ice cream and Steve says he has to maintain his hot bod for the ladies. While it seems in jest, we later see the infamous "banana" scene that I used to think was kind of silly until tonight. To me, it reflects that Steve doesn't allow himself to indulge in things like ice cream or anything of the sort because it will destroy the one thing he feels he has left for himself - his looks. He'd rather just eat a thousand bananas than even dream of getting 'fat'.

Steve's genuine number one fear is that of free-falling. I'm trying to flesh this out a bit, but it seems so apparent to me. Several times in this season, Steve is seen literally throwing himself into death. Flinging himself right at the Russian in the operations room. Running to get his car to save the others from the Mindflayer. Even right before this, in telling everyone else to back away from what the Russians were hiding. Steve is always throwing himself into danger and facing death head on, but the elevator scene is the ONE TIME we see him truly 'unhinged.' He's panicking, he genuinely mentions a fear of death, even though he has faced death so many times. This fear is real to him.

His Scoops uniform. I already head canon that Steve hates this thing, mostly because he feels ridiculous in it. But man, this poor guy got tortured, beat to near death (again), etc. while in this uniform. It's probably an honest trigger point for him. I do have threads where he wears it (because we all know fanon has everyone pining for him in it), but if Steve wears it for you, it's a privilege to see. It would take him a lot of courage, and mean he overcame a lot. So if he wears it for you, praise that damn boy.

Eddie is not the only one that was held back. Though Steve wasn't held back a full year (which I hc is because of his athletic skill and also because his family is made of money), it's pretty obvious to me that he was held back in a few classes. Why else would him and Robin both be in sophomore history together, when Steve is a year ahead of her? Sure, Robin is smart, and we could head canon that she's a year ahead in some courses, but I'd like to think with Steve's (lack of) intelligence, it's more likely he failed some classes and had to retake them.

"It's all just bullshit." If you know my Steve, bullshit is his biggest trigger word, and I truly think this is canon because of this scene. A Nancy I used to write with (I won't name names) always told me it was clear that Steve had moved on from what she had said at Tina's party and her getting with Jonathan because when she goes to apologize in S2, he tells her not to worry about it. I don't see it that way at all, and this just confirms it to me. He's sitting there on drugs, talking about how sometimes the things we dedicate our whole lives to end up not being worth it, and end up being all just bullshit. This is such a genuine reflection to his relationship with Nancy, and how he feels that that time was wasted for nothing.

Steve loves cars. I think this isn't even just a head canon but absolute canon, and I just want to acknowledge it. When people ask me about Harringrove, like I'm sorry, but you can't tell me that Steve didn't have eyes on that Camaro from the second it pulled up to Hawkins High. My man loves cars. He calls cars 'baby' canonically. This is the scene that literally made me give Steve a daddy kink (Erica being all "did he just refer to himself as daddy" had me laughing for twenty minutes). He's got a boner for cars, okay?

His mom is used as a reference on his application. This means that he still sees himself as having a decent connection with his mom, or at least enough so that it's better than his dad. However note that he doesn't say something like "yeah my mom will give me a great recommendation." It's that she has a well known reputation and status. Enough so that he thinks putting her on a resume will get him hired. Meaning that the Harringtons are a freaking huge deal in that small town (and considering as mentioned earlier there were like thousands of people both at the mall AND at the county fair, this gives Steve and his family even more status). Which just supports all my head canons about them being invited to fancy galas and whatnot and that being why they are never around.

Now that all of this is out of my head, my sick ass is going to bed. Please feel free to ask further questions, tag me in starters that align with any of these, etc.

#[the hell am i sorry for*/head canons]#season three headcanons #was this my first time watching s3 since my first watch through? yes #this is why i do these steve-athons to focus solely on him and not the bigger picture to get a better grasp at how i see him

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midwestmade29 · 6 months

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Christian Cage Head Canon 💭

I think this is considered a head canon, but please correct me if I’m wrong! (I do feel like some of this would be true with Jay being Jay and not Christian 🫢 I think I may have blurred the two 😳) But this is the shit my brain comes up with randomly and I wanted to share 😂

Spice level:🌶️

Word count: 704 So, picture this:

You and Christian LOVE to play small pranks on each other. At home, on the road, on the phone, at an arena…anywhere possible. You both love to mess with each other and push each other’s buttons a little.

You both are always laughing together. Doing whatever you can (no matter how silly or crazy) to make the other crack up. From jokes, sarcasm, getting one another in your most ticklish parts, puns, wearing something completely ridiculous, singing horribly to songs in the car, making crazy faces at each other, etc. The laughter is something that makes both your hearts ridiculously happy.

You love dancing together. Favorite types are dancing crazily in the kitchen while fixing dinner or cleaning up the dishes, slow dancing and holding each other close at a wedding or a party, in the car when your favorite songs come on, in the candlelight at home in your living room, and of course dancing in the sheets 😉

Physical touch is both of your love languages. Holding hands, wrapping your arms around the other from behind, a quick peck on the cheek, resting your head on his shoulder, cuddling on the couch while watching a show or movie (let’s be real though, probably a hockey game 😂), his hand on your thigh while he drives, when you embrace and it still doesn’t feel like it’s close enough, him helping you unzip your dress while letting his fingers graze your skin in the process, you helping him fix his tie because it’s usually crooked, forehead kisses, a little smack on the ass when either of you pass by one another.

You’re each other’s home. When you’re a part, you feel like a chunk of you is missing. The days while he’s away for AEW seem to drag on and make you anxious for him to come back to you. Whenever you’re together all feels right with the world and there’s an overwhelming sense of comfort and peace that fills your soul. Sitting silently next to each other while you read a book and he watches tv doesn’t bother either of you one bit, because just being near each other is enough. “Home is wherever I am with you.” 🖤

You support each other immensely. Whatever goal, dream or aspiration either of you have, you’re both in each other’s corners cheering for each other louder than anyone else. It doesn’t matter if either of you are successful in your endeavors or fall flat on your face, you lift one another up and kiss the pain away if something didn’t go the way it was planned.

You’re both extremely competitive. You like to challenge each other in just about anything! Trivia on any subject, googling something to prove you’re right/correct, board/video games, who can buckle their seatbelt the fastest, a staring contest, rock/paper/scissors, anything to one up the other, but playfully. Sometimes egos can get bruised, but you both get over a loss eventually. (By kissing and making of of course!)

Neither of you are afraid to be your true selves around each other. The good, the bad, the ugly, you accept and love every flaw. Showing emotion and speaking freely about anything/everything just comes naturally for you two. From morning breath, reciting every word while watching a favorite movie, beard trimmings all over the bathroom counter/sink, leaving hair in the shower drain, snoring, forgetting to replace the toilet paper roll, stealing all the covers when you’re sleeping, being indecisive about dinner, burping or farting loudly, leaving dirty clothes everywhere, putting your cold feet on them, …you two embrace it ALL.

Your intimate relationship is always burning hot, hot, hot 🔥 Intense physical attraction, skin on skin, hands roaming everywhere, lips constantly on each other, love bites and secret hickeys, he makes you forget about any insecurities you might have, mutual trust when trying new things or exploring, you both have healthy appetites 😏, laying naked together and falling asleep that way after sex, passion always on the forefront, empowering and encouraging one another when something feels good, not afraid to take things outside of the bedroom, intense, romantic, sensual, fun and exciting, dirty talk, (you both are very vocal 😏), a deep soul connection.

WOW, okay…that was waaaay longer than I meant it to be but it felt right so I kept rolling with it 😂 Obviously Mr. Cage/Reso has me feeling some type of way 🫠

#christian cage #jay reso #aew #all elite wrestling #captain charisma #instantclassic #christian4peeps #christian cage headcanon #head canon

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digimonloving · 2 years

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Hey, I absolutely love your blog! Would it be possible to get an nsft alphabet for Astamon?

Astamon NSFT Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Astamon is quite the pamperer after a good session, lovingly caressing his partner, kissing over spots he left marks on, holding his partner close after cleaning them up... He makes sure that they know it was more than just a senseless fuck session every time (even if that's how he likes it)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Astamon has to say his partner's ass... He loves his partner's ass, he'd stare at it all day if he could. Doesn't matter what type they have, or if they have one at all.

Astamon enjoys his hands, out of everything he'd settle for them anytime...

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Depending on what position he and his partner are fucking in, Astamon likes to cum on his partner's ass, coating it with his cum and grinning as he watches it slowly drip down their thighs. He'll also cum on their chest just to watch it do the same thing. Something about watching his cum run over his partner's body gets him going all over again...

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Astamon just wants his partner to take more control over him, make him sit still as they control everything. He wants them to demand that he stay still as they take their pleasure, the thought simply gets him going quite well... and then he takes it out on his partner when they get together

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Astamon has some experience... He knows very well what he's doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Ride!! Him!! Reverse, facing him, doesn't matter. He loves watching his partner ride on his cock, but he controls the pace is the deal...

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It entirely depends on the mood for the day. He might have his moments where he's feeling a little bit more on the silly side.. but usually he prefers to be a bit more serious, so to say

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very decently groomed, makes sure his pubes don't get coarse as he prefers it being a bit more on the fluffy side. Carpet matches the drapes.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Astamon can be fairy intimate during the moment, as much as he loves them bouncing on his cock, teasing them and mumbling dirty nothings into their ear, he pulls them close to him as he softly nuzzles his cheek against their own, pulling them down on him and holding them close before he cums

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Astamon more likes to be a tease when it comes to masturbation... He will always figure out when his partner will get back from doing something, and if he's feeling a bit in the mood, he strokes himself without even hiding away anywhere, unbuttoning his pants and simply waiting as he jerks himself off. He always moans that he couldn't help himself, and the thought of them bouncing on his cock was becoming too much to him... won't they help him out?

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Spanking, degradation/praise, marking, bondage (on partner), overstimulation

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Up against a wall is certainly one, if he's not taking his partner in a chair or on the bed, or bent over a table

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Astamon is usually the initiator when it comes to sex, but if his partner teases him by doing the same thing that he does to them, maybe even taking a bit mor control, Astamon's cock is near immediately standing at attention from it all, hard and already aching

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Watersports, anything that gets him or his suit extremely dirty (body paints, food)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Astamon has a slight preference for his partner sucking him off, he just enjoys a bit of rough throat-fucking, gripping his partner's hair or face and thrusting into their mouth. He does return oral on his partner if he's feeling a bit... needy, going down on them while they sit on the couch or so and simply going to town on them.

If his partner is male, then he completely lets them fuck his face just as he does to them.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes it fast, but... he does enjoy starting it off slowly as he rolls his partner's hips against his own, picking up the pace steadily before he's thrusting up into them with a bit of force

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Astamon is ALL for quickies, dare he say they're one of his go-tos when it comes to sex should he get too riled up in a day. As much as he loves his long, passionate sessions.... he does enjoy a fast-paced quickie with his partner.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Astamon likes a bit of fun and experimentations, so he's game for them if they don't cross too many boundaries...

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This Digimon goes for some time, his partner usually cumming three to four times before he even cums once. He can last for quite a while, and he just loves watching his partner slowly get more and more fucked out of their mind as he keeps the same damn fast and rough pace before he finally shoves them down on his cock

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

If Astamon REALLY wants to be a tease, he uses a vibrator on the lowest, but not too low, setting on his partner, telling them not to cum and making sure they don't. Or else he'll punish them. He just wants to see how long they'll last before the break and beg him to fuck them senseless

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Astamon is 1000% into teasing his partner. Even before sex he'll tease them, whispering dirty things into their ear as his hand teasingly slips down their pants. He does quite a bit of teasing as well before he slips his cock into them, he simply can't help but watch his partner squirm as he teases them

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Astamon prefers to be quiet, but if his partner kisses at his neck or bites down on him, they can draw out a few louder moans from him as he grips onto them and groans

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Astamon really doesn't like to remove his suit, even during sex, at least not a lot of it. He'll unbutton his suit so that they can touch his chest and abs, but he otherwise keeps it on. He feels it gives him a bit of power, somehow... He just loves being able to button it back up as his partner lays panting, overstimulated and looking adorable in his eyes.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Near human, fairly lengthy with a nice girth to it at that... The tip is a bit more pointed and long, and he has what can only look similar to a knot at the base of his cock. A sort of mix between canine and human

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It's fairly high, but he manages to keep it down when it's needed... but there are far too many times where he really can't help himself and he needs to take his partner against a wall, unbuttoning his pants as he shoves his cock into them

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He's still pretty damn awake, even after a long session between him and his partner. He likes to hold his partner close, though, petting their head as they fall asleep against him instead

#Spicy Headcanons #Astamon #Astamon x S/O #Astamon x Reader

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buckys-little-belle · 2 years

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Hewwo! So I had an idea and basically little!reader is very clumsy like bruises, tiny scrapes, etc and just very not aware of their surroundings. It’a not like they do it on purpose or anything but yeah I was thinking how would Daddy Bucky react and take care of them? Hope you like the idea! I love your writing!

I’ll break it, you fix it

Bucky x fem!Clumsy!little!reader

Decided to do headcanons for this, i hope thats okay! Its not as long as i would like but i really wanted to answer you as soon as possible! I’m such a clumsy person and totally related to this ask, i hope i did it justice. I love you so much and thank you for being my first fic/blurb “request”! <3

Warnings : mentions of injurys, scrapes, bruises, bandaids, peroxide (as a wound cleaner), lots of soft Bucky! Use of nicknames (doll, baby), reader refers to Bucky as “daddy” in this fic

“Um it’s nofing daddy” you mumbled

“Doll, please answer my question” his voice was slightly more stern this time around, he didn’t want to send you to the corner for ignoring his question, he wanted to know what happened, hoping that you would comply with his wishes.

“Dropped your phone …. On my foot” your voice now quieter than before.

Bucky took a second to think, quickly realizing his phone had a heavy protective case on it, the thing seemed to resemble a brick more than it did a phone.

He always let you play on his phone in the morning if you woke up before him, it always seemed to keep you occupied. Obviously this time you must have moved to the couch to play games, dropping his phone on your foot as you walked to the living room.

“Why didn’t t you tell me?” He questioned, walking the two of you to the kitchen and grabbing a small ice pack out of the freezer.

“Didn’t want you to be mad at me!” Doubt swirled uncontrollably in your head, you were worried that maybe he would get mad at you for leaving the room before he woke up, or for being so clumsy, he always hated when you got hurt, maybe he would hate you this time.

“Baby I would never get mad” bucky sat you down on a dining room chair and placed the cloth wrapped ice pack on your foot. Rubbing circles on your knee with his thumb.

“Promise?”

“ I promise”

After the first incident Bucky had bandaids in every room of the house and stocked the freezer with ice packs of all different sizes just incase something happed.

You thought it was silly, but of course you proved yourself wrong time and time again. Falling, tripping, and dropping things left and right, often needing Bucky’s s healing hands afterwards.

“Daddy?” You spoke softly as you stood in the doorway of the living room.

“Yes baby?” Bucky put down the book he was reading, readjusting himself so he could sit up strait in his seat.

“I need a boo band”

Bucky chuckled at the nickname you gave the bandaids, Bucky tried to tell you that it was bandaid but you insisted that you were in fact right. “What happened?”

“I slipped and fell one the rug” bucky could see you were fighting back tears, your face contorted in a permanent frown.

Bucky motioned you to walk closer to him, his eyes scanning for any injury’s. That’s when he saw the scrap at your knee and your long skirt torn. Rug burn was painful and he could see that you were trying to seem as strong as possible.

“Okay baby, sit down on the chair and ill grab a bandaid okay?” Bucky pointed to the large chair that sat near the living room window, you nodded and began to walk towards it, au kilt sitting in it and wiggling around to get comfy.

Bucky walked back into the room, your special band under her left arm and a small first aid kid in the other. “This might hurt so I brought your bear to keep you safe”

“Tank you” Bucky thought you might slip further into little space, knowing injury’s always stressed you out beyond repair.

You grasped onto your bear, holding it close to your body and giving his head a quick kiss. “You ready doll?” Bucky asked, you nodded back, ready for it to all be over. Bucky pulled your skirt up a tab bit so he could get a clear view of your knee.

“This is gonna sting okay?” Bucky said as he pressed a cotton an pad with peroxide to it to your knee, you winced a little, a few tears making their decent down your cheeks.

Bucky dabbed the pad a few times before getting out a few bandaids, all different ffrent colours, but all your favourite my little pony’s. “All cleaned up!” Bucky spoke as he placed the used cotton pad in the living room garbage can, picking you up afterwards and carrying you towards the couch.

The two of you cuddled, you stayed wrapped in his arms as he rocked you back and forth, skipping his thumbs against your cheeks to wipe away the left over tears.

Bucky was glad you had gotten the hang of telling him when you were hurt, proud of his baby for asking for help, knowing you were always scared yet did it anyways. After today he would definitely add a few stickers to your chart.

He kissed your cheek, turning on the tv and setting you on the couch before he went to make supper, hoping you would stay still and safe for as long as possible while you were out of his site. Of course 5 minutes later he heard a thud and ran back in, you just couldn’t sit still, a blessing and curse.

#bucky age regression #bucky barnes #bucky x little reader #bucky x little!reader #bucky x reader #little!reader #age regression fic #bucky #james buchanan bucky barnes #age regression #bucky barnes x little!reader #bucky barnes x reader #little reader

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novaiya · 3 years

Text

Arthur Morgan x Reader NSFW Alphabet

AO3 Link.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Arthur’s very lovey-dovey after sex. He’ll shower you in kisses and hold your body so close to his that you’ll feel his heartbeat. Affection is something he craves, and that hunger will only grow tenfold as the post-coital bliss washes over him. Falling asleep with you by his side, your naked body pressed against his, your head on his chest feels like home to him, where he can be free and safe.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves his arms and hands. Not only are they a powerful tool that he uses on the daily to kill, rob, and steal, they also come in handy (hehe) in the bedroom. He’ll run his hands all over your body, pinching, touching, twisting. The feeling of your skin under his fingers is intoxicating, and so is the knowledge that it’s his touch that can make you moan and writhe in pleasure.

When it comes to you, it’s hard for him to pick just one favorite aspect. He loves every part of you, from your legs, to your hips and your waist, to your breasts and of course your face. If he absolutely has to choose, then he’ll pick your waist. He feels content when he has his hand on your waist, bringing you close to him and feeling your body next to his, be it when the two of you are out, or simply sitting by the campfire in camp.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Loves coming inside of you, be it in your mouth or your pussy. There’s just something so intimate and romantic in the feeling of being enveloped by your warm walls as he reaches his own release.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes to be dominated from time to time. It’s easy to understand; Arthur always has to take the lead, be the protector and the leader of the gang, making sure the people are safe and fed. It’s a lot of responsibility, and it weighs heavy on his shoulders. Sometimes he just wants to let go and have somebody else be in control. This want seeps into your intimate life, and at first, he’s embarrassed to voice it. He’s so used to being the strong, masculine outlaw that he’s not sure how to be anything else but that. You sense that something is wrong, so after a lot of prying and kissing he relents and tells you what he’s been thinking. He’s expecting you to laugh at him and dismiss his thoughts as silly, but you don’t. You ask if that’s what he really wants, and he nods. The night takes a completely different turn, with you having your way with Arthur, taking control of his pleasures. You’ll have him on the edge, teasing him relentlessly only to not give him what he needs.

“You think you deserve to cum?” you’ll say, nipping at his ear. “Think you’ve been good?”

He’ll moan your name, bucking his hips towards you and say, “Please.”

“That’s Madame for you,” you’ll correct him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

You wanna thank the woman (or women) who taught Arthur what he knows. From sucking on your clit, to hitting your G spot and nipping on your neck, the man knows every secret in the book that will have your toes curling and your eyes roll to the back of your head. Another great thing about him is that not only is he experienced, but he’s open to learning and trying something new. He’s not the type of man to get upset if you correct him on his technique. If you don’t like something and tell him to do it differently, he’s more than happy to correct himself. Your pleasure is more important than his ego.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

With you on your stomach and him on top, fucking you into the mattress. He loves the classic such as missionary and cowgirl during which he can see your face, but there’s something so intimate in being pressed so close against you, his chest touching your back.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Arthur is somewhere in the middle, leaning more towards serious. He can laugh during the process, but more often than not he’s concentrated, lost in pleasure and lust.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Arthur is hairy all over; from his head to his chest to his legs, and, well, there too. If it bothers you, he has no problem trimming down there, but he himself doesn’t care.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

During your love making (and it is love making, not fucking (thought that happens too sometimes)), he’s very romantic, making sure to tell you, “You’re so beautiful” and “I love you so much, darlin’.” He’ll shower your body in kisses, worshiping you like the goddess you are, kissing every inch of skin and murmuring praises and love confessions. The time you spend in each other's arms, bringing each other pleasure is not only about satisfying your carnal desires, it’s about being close, becoming one and showing just how much you love each other. It’s a process that neither of you want to rush, sometimes spending hours in each other’s arms, proving your love all. night. long.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

The two of you spend almost every waking hour together, but sometimes there are jobs that Arthur has to do alone (like bounty hunting or collecting debts). Some of those jobs are quick, and if he leaves in the morning he’s back in camp right before supper to spend the night with you. Others, however, can stretch for days, even longer if his destination is way out in the country. When he’s away from you for that long, taking himself in his hand is all he can do. He’ll wrap his fingers around his cock, starting with slow up and down movements, imagining it’s your hand and not his. He’ll bring to memory the image of your naked body under his, the sound of your voice moaning his name and the feeling of your walls spasming around him. If he’s alone, he’ll moan your name under his breath, his cock twitching in his hand as he’s nearing his release. With a cry of your name he’ll come, spilling himself on the ground, his hand working his cock to push every drop out.

It’s not the same as having you with him, that’s for sure, but it’ll have to do before he can have the real you in-front of him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Light bondage. He enjoys tying you up, like your hands behind your back or your hands to the bedpost. If the two of you are in a particular mood, he might even tie up your legs. After telling you his “dirty secret”, he enjoys being the one tied up as well. Both of you know he can get out of the ties easily, break the rope with just a flex of his muscles, but it’s the knowledge that he’s tied down and at your mercy that turns him on.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Somewhere that has a full sized bed (preferably a king sized one). As much as he enjoys the cozy atmosphere of his tent and the familiarity of his cot, it can be a bit annoying with two full sized adults trying to go at it on a bed that was made only for one person.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He loves hearing you moan his name, the sound of it coming broken and shaky from your lips. Feeling your legs shake, your body writhe and your hands holding on to him for support is his biggest motivation to work harder to bring you to your release, wanting nothing more than to see you fall apart to his touch.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Degradation and physical abuse. A spank on your ass here and there is okay, and so is dirty talk, but nothing that crosses a line into actual degradation and physical abuse.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Homeboy loves getting his dick sucked. Having you on your knees with his cock in your mouth is one of the images that warms up his soul when he’s alone and away from you.

As far as giving, he enjoys it, and can spend hours between your thighs, lapping at your like you’re his last meal. He enjoys how you are when you’re nearing your release, your thighs shaking on his shoulders, your fingers holding on to his hair and holding him where you need him. Once your orgasm washes over you and you’re laying on the bed, panting, your eyes closed, he’ll emerge from between your legs, licking his lips, a satisfied smirk on them.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Arthur prefers slow, sensual lovemaking to rough and fast fucking any day of the week. He enjoys dragging his cock in and out of your pussy, the slow strokes driving you insane. His pace would be slow, but it would be deep and intense, making you see stars each time he hits a spot inside of you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

With how often Arthur has to go on jobs, quickies are a necessity in your relationship. Sometimes, he’ll only be in camp for an hour or two before heading back out, so as much as he’d love to pull down the flaps of his tent and ravish your body for hours on end, a quickie is all he can afford.

He’ll have you pinned to a tree on the outskirts of camp, his pants pulled down enough to pull out his dick, your skirt hiked up and your drawers pushed to the side. You’ll bite down on your fingers, trying to keep your moans at minimum as he pushes in you, his girth stretching you as it always does. It’ll be quick, dirty and sinfully delicious, and it will leave you craving more, waiting for Arthur to come back as soon as possible.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Arthur’s always game to try something new as long as it’s safe and both of you are on the same page.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Arthur can go all night long. The man has an implacable self control, and he can make you come countless times before cumming himself.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Arthur is a type of man that wants to do everything himself, be it cooking his own meals instead or ordering UberEats, or making you cum with his fingers instead of a vibrator. Personally, he doesn’t see a necessity for toys, but if it’s something you wanna try, he’s more than happy to use them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

When he’s in a mood, Arthur can tease you ceaselessly. He’ll have you on the edge of orgasm for hours, making you think that he’s about to give you what you want, only to pull away at the last possible moment. You’ll be a shaking, moaning mess by the end of it, teetering on the edge of insanity and begging him to finally let you cum. He’ll smile that devilish smile, perhaps even cock his head to the side and take a moment to think before saying, “Nah,” and go back to teasing you for hours more.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

When the two of you are in camp, Arthur has no problem at keeping his volume to a minimum. He’ll grunt here and there, maybe let out a moan a few times, but nothing over the top, because he doesn’t want to bother other gang members. When the two of you are alone however, it’s a completely different story. The man moans. He lets out grunts, sighs and moans, but most of all, he lets out praises and comments.

“Shit, darlin’, you’re so tight,” he would grunt as he slips in your heat, “Gonna make me bust already.”

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he’d say as he circles your clit with his fingers, bringing you to your release for the unpteenth time that day, “I know you got it in you.”

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

The idea of you getting pregnant turns him on, a lot. The two of you are not actively trying to get pregnant, but the knowledge that he could do that to you, could put a baby in you and have you swollen and with a big belly because of him turns him on. When the two of you do decide to try for a child, he’ll be the one tracking your cycle and seeing which days you’re ovulating. On those days, you’ll barely leave the bed, only taking time to eat and relieve yourself before going back to making love in hopes of expanding your family.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Arthur’s hung. That’s all.

Jk, that’s not all. He’s long and thick, something that made a shiver run down your spine the first time you saw him naked. Even after being together for however long you were, his girth still manages to stretch you to your limits and need a moment to get used to. Arthur would never say it, but hearing you say, “You’re so big” gives him a high for hours and feeds his ego like nothing else.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Before getting in a relationship with you, Arthur’s sex drive was mediocre. He might’ve sought the company of working girls a couple of times a month, but that was more like scratching an itch and not doing it out of pure lust. After getting in a relationship with you however, well, that’s a different story. Just the sight of you walking through camp can set his mind on fire. He has a hard time keeping his hands off of you, and can be a big distraction when you have to work. If you’re game, he’ll have you multiple times throughout the day; in the morning, after lunch during your guard duty, at night in the tent. The man wants you all the time and he’s not shy to tell you so.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Arthur is the type of man to fall asleep with his face in your tits. As soon as he makes sure that both of you are clean and comfortable, he’s out. He’ll be scooping you up in his arms and snoring in no time (and so will you, because Arthur’s snores and his warm chest is better than any Melatonin)

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multifandomwritings · 3 years

Text

How the slashers would react to their S/O being sweet and affectionate

(Giving them lots of compliments, being soft with them, etc.)

Includes Thomas, Brahms, Michael, Jason, Bubba, Chop Top, Nubbins, Beetlejuice, Candyman, Bo, Vincent, Lester, Graverobber, Luigi, Pavi & Billy Lenz. I know technically not all of them are slashers but I wanted to put all the horror characters together :)

This came out of nowhere and took so long to write lol :^) I hope you like it! If I’m missing anyone let me know! (This is both bad and lengthy, so I am sorry :’) Also obviously they’re soft here so) I’ve read through this to check for mistakes but if I missed anything I’m sorry, feel free to point it out!

Thomas:

- Thomas would thoroughly melt. He's starved for affection and kindness, and probably wouldn't even know how to handle it at first, only staring at you with reddened cheeks and ears

- He's a sucker for compliments, especially — he's been spoken to/about poorly most of his life, so it's foreign to him. Your seemingly endless drawls of honey-coated words soften him up beyond repair, building his confidence up more than you would even be aware of (imagine his widened eyes and fumbling hands as you spoke 🥺)

- It would take some time, but you'd make him like things about himself. You compliment his eyes? He would slowly begin to too, since you did. You played with his hair, rambling on about how pretty it was? Fluttering eyelids, profuse blushing, can’t handle it. He likes it too from then on, and hopes you play with it more.

- Of course, Thomas would adore that you were physically affectionate. He'd be more than willing anytime you wanted hugs or kisses, his tummy always filling with butterflies at your touches. Besides kisses, he'd especially adore casual intimacy - touching his arms in passing, or playing with his hands and fingers absent-mindedly as you sat with him. It would make him feel so loved and happy. (Also: snuggling up to him/nuzzling into his neck. He would melt, amazed that you were so trusting and comfortable with him)

- Your sweetness would be so endearing to him, almost feeling undeserving of it. He'd question why you were so tender with him, often needing reassurance. He'd be quite protective of you anyways, but your sweet personality would only further this.

Brahms:

- This would be perfect for Brahms. He's very affectionate himself, so he'd be happy to receive any affection that came his way

- Seriously. If you began being casually affectionate with him, spoiling him with kisses, hugs, and little touches in passing, he'd do the same, probably taking advantage of it a little (only because he's quite touch starved)

- Compliments, however, would be received a little different. Not badly, only with more reservation. He's unused to them, and would often flush up at your sweet words, stammering clumsily to thank you as he tried not to blush too hard

- Your sweet, caring and affectionate personality would melt his heart, so thankful that you came along. Your sweet words and affectionate nature would be so mending to a severely neglected part of him

- Often times, you'd have a hard time getting him to let you go when you hugged or cuddled up to him. He'd cling to you tightly, nuzzling up to you and savoring every moment of it

Michael:

- You would have to be patient with Michael when it came to any kind of affection. He wouldn't mind, but he'd be a little wary of it, especially at first

- Gentle, caring and purposeful touches would soften him up a bit. Things like you caring for any wounds he happened to get while ~out and about~, and looking after him in ways he wasn't used to

- Compliments and doting would be met with surprise, though you wouldn't be able to tell. If you look closely enough, you'll see his eyes are widened behind his mask when you speak lovingly of him

- Your sweet personality would intrigue him, especially seeing as he was the object of your affections. His own affection would be shown by being protective and gentle with you, willingly accepting your affection, albeit with some amount of awkwardness

- He would have a hard time not letting his guard down and completely melting into your touches and at your affection. Slowly but surely, he’d loosen up. One day you’d absent-mindedly lift your hand to his arm or cheek once he was warmed up to you, and he’d surprise you by leaning into it just slightly, scanning your reaction nervously. Don’t push your luck and overreact though, he’ll get awkward and temporarily disappear. An encouraging smile will do!

Jason:

- Jason would *adore* this. So much. You would always make him feel so warm and loved, any insecurities he had would slowly melt away

- He would feel grateful that he wore a mask sometimes, embarrassed at how flushed you could make him without even having to try

- Has some reservations about physical affection at first, but your patience and sweetness would rapidly chip away at them. In fact, he'd regret keeping you at arms length at first, as he'd worry you weren't being as affectionate as you wanted to be because of it (you actually were, he just wants more)

- You can always tell he's beaming beneath the mask when you compliment him, savoring your words and making sure he won't forget them. Although he might not always agree with the sweet things you said about him, they made him feel special and loved

- His biggest weakness would be his neck. You would occasionally kiss the side of his neck near his jaw in lieu of his face when he wore his mask, and each time you could watch as his ears turned crimson, eyes widened slightly, always prompting a giggle from you

Bubba:

- Bubba is quite affectionate too, so you'd be a cute match

- He might have reservations about being too affectionate in the beginning, as he wouldn't want to scare you away. However, when you proved yourself to be just the same as him, the dam would break and he'd rarely not be spoiling you with affection

- Your compliments and sweet words would always leave him a blushing mess, genuinely confounded at how you could make him feel so warm and fluttery inside

- Bubba is definitely the cuddliest so prepare yourself for endless snuggles, happy to return your affection like that. If you were to walk up and give him a random hug, he'd melt, dragging you off somewhere to sit with you for hours, you snuggled up in his arms

- He cannot cope with the casual little kisses you give him, especially if you pepper them across his face. He would never get used to them despite loving them, turning the sweetest shade of pink each time and rambling on in a sort of awkward panic

Chop Top:

- Chop Top would lovingly tease you about how affectionate you were with him, finding it completely adorable. He would end up shutting up about it as he wouldn’t want to discourage you, though

- Compliments and sweet words would be met with a big, silly smile or chuckle, followed by him asking you if you really meant it. He’d find you so sweet, and would return your affectionate words in his own weird, Chop Top-esque way

- Nothing has an effect on him quite like random, unexpected touches. He’ll be going on in his typical loud, extra way when you’d stand next to him and slip your hand into his, your other hand clinging to his arm as you pressed up to him slightly. His voice would falter as he glanced at you with a nervous chuckle, rambling nervously and trying to remain ~composed~

- Your sweetness would be somewhat puzzling to him, particularly because it was directed toward him. He wouldn’t be used to people being so gentle and polite with him, so he wouldn’t even know what to do with it at first

- Ends up being more affectionate than you. He loves having you in his arms and smothering you with chaotic, needy kisses. He’d have loads of weird, super-specific nicknames he’d call you, and would love if you had some for him, too.

Nubbins:

- So soft for you! Seriously. He'd treat you like you were made of glass, uncharacteristically protective of you

- Anytime you touched him he'd break into the sweetest smile, melting into your hands. *Loves* when you play with his hair, nuzzling up against your hand

- Anytime you complimented him, called him loving nicknames, or anything like that he'd flush up and wouldn't be able to stop smiling

- He's so used to being mistreated that your sweet and gentle personality would make his heart race. He'd cling to you any chance he got, finding comfort in you

- He’d be just affectionate back, but in a sort of clumsy, awkward way. It would be new to him, and he’d want to be all gentle and sweet with you, but instead he’d be a bit rough and unpracticed. He’d play with your hair a bit roughly, hug you a little too tightly, and would kiss you with too much fervor for it to be as sweet as the intention behind it

Beetlejuice:

- Beetlejuice wouldn't really know how to take this/deal with it. He can be quite vulgar and straightforward, so it would be an adjustment. Not an unwelcome one, just different

- He'd find himself getting embarrassed by his own lewd comments and gestures, finding you far too sweet for that, and wanting to treat you as such

- When you complimented him, his first instinct would be to be cocky and teasing about it. As he realized how genuine you were, he'd get surprisingly embarrassed, genuinely appreciating your words and not forgetting them

- Finds himself adoring your soft, sweet touches, leaning into them and hoping they'd last longer than they did. Of course, you were always happy to cater to him, stopping whatever you were doing to shower him with soft attention that you knew he needed more than he was aware

- His personality would completely soften around you, looking at you as though you were the most precious thing in the world. The second someone else was around though? Back to his usual shenanigans.

Candyman:

- Daniel would pretty much be the same as you, always spoiling you with the sweetest, loveliest words that would leave your heart fluttering and cheeks flushed

- He'd find your sweet personality endearing, being particularly gentle and soft with you. Any kind of affection you wanted, you would get

- Adores your touches, and returns them without hesitation. He's a romantic, so he'd love your kisses in particular, smiling anytime you would randomly kiss him, and often wrapping you up to steal more than a simple peck

- He would be so sweet and romantic constantly, cherishing every little bit of affection you gave him. He’d always be amazed at how gentle you were and how you made him feel

- He would (not so) secretly love being doted over by you. Would melt at how adoringly you looked at him, and would be happy to just sit with you as you snuggled up to him, making him feel all soft and special

Bo:

- This is so foreign to Bo. Literally, he'd look at you like you were absolutely nuts, having no idea how to react to half the things you said

- Your soft, doting words flustered him far more than he would have liked to admit, even to himself. Every compliment would wrap itself around his thoughts and tug at his heartstrings

- Did you really mean the things you said about him? You were so soft and genuine, he was always amazed at how you could feel so sweetly toward him. He'd feel so privileged, in a way, to be the object of your affections

- Your physical affection would *always* be welcome. He would definitely return it, though not without some amount of flirting and teasing. Calls you every cute moniker in the book, sweetheart being his favorite for you. (He’d never admit it but if you call him things like that too, he’d melt)

- Of course, he'd adore whatever affection you gave him, but it would be the sweet, unfamiliar things that would really get him. If you held his hand in yours as you walked, kissed his cheeks, played with his hair or even did something as silly as booping his nose, he'd scoff, half rolling his eyes and pretending to find it silly. The pink spreading across his cheeks and nose would not be lost on you, though, nor the soft smile that would slowly emerge

Vincent:

- Vincent would be a little bit nervous about affection at first. He'd definitely want it, but it would just be new to him. He'd have to warm up to you first

- Verbal affection would be best in the beginning, sweet words easing him up to you (and making it much harder to keep you at arms length). If he allowed you to see him without his mask, he'd rarely not be blushing (to be honest, you would be able to sense that he was anyways, even when he did wear it)

- Little things like touching his shoulders or arms in passing would make him so soft. When he's comfortable with it, you'd begin holding his hands and hugging him, which would almost always result in him nuzzling up to you and rapidly getting clingy

- His favorite thing would be cuddling up with you for hours, feeling safe and warm tangled up with you. He’d also love when you played with his hair, and kissed the scarred side of his face, quickly getting overwhelmed with emotion

- He would be as caring and sweet toward you as you would be with him. Your loving personality would be deeply appreciated by him, and he’d make sure that you knew it

Lester:

- Lester would be the softest ever for you, your sweet personality being what drew him to you. He'd be used to people being mean and rude, so when you weren't, he'd already be putty in your hands

- Every word that came out of your mouth would prompt a big, expectant smile, no matter what it was about. However, anytime you indulged him with compliments and kindness, he'd hardly be able to maintain eye contact, too embarrassed and flattered to even properly hear you

- Being with you would perpetually keep him in a good mood. No amount of meanness from anyone would matter anymore — if you liked him, that's all that would matter!

- He spoils you just as much with affection and compliments as you do him, thinking you were the sweetest person on earth, and wanting you to know it

- Loves all kinds of physical affection you give him, but he really just likes to have you close. Hand holding, arms wrapped around each other, and so on would make feel safe and warm

Graverobber:

- Graverobber would be pleasantly surprised with how soft you were with him, finding himself almost amused by it. Not in a bad way, but as with almost everyone else he just wouldn’t expect it

- Any random affection, verbal or physical, would be met with a cocked eyebrow and a small smirk — only because he loves watching the blush creep over your cheeks in embarrassment

- He’d love it though, and would be quick to reassure you despite his initial teasing. He’d find you so endearing and would appreciate you a lot, though he’d be more apt to express it with actions rather than words

- Alternatively to teasing when you were being particularly sweet, he’d pull you up next to him and wrap his arm around you. If you were alone, he’d be a bit touchier, peppering your face with kisses and grinning in satisfaction as he made you laugh and blush

- He would find you so cute, often unable to keep a smile off his face when you were around

Luigi:

- You would certainly be a stark contrast to Luigi. This pairing would be a mystery to his family and pretty much everyone else, though he wouldn’t understand why

- Your sweet, affectionate personality would cut through his angry, brazen one a little, at least when he was around you. Despite his temper, he'd have a hard time actually getting angry when you were around, even toward other people (this results in everyone else hoping you would stay attached at the hip, so to speak. Please)

- He'd adore your affection, needing soft and sweet attention more than he knew. He'd love to be wrapped up in your arms, or have you wrapped up in his — it really wouldn’t matter, he’d be happy either way. (Also likes PDA, as he's a show-off)

- Your praises and compliments would always light up his face with an endearing smile. He'd go out of his way to impress you and live up to your words. He could also be quite smug, too, agreeing with your compliments half-seriously and half in an attempt to make you laugh

- You would (unintentionally) have him wrapped around your finger, without him even realizing it.

Pavi:

- Pavi would be fascinated by this, so used to less innocent forms of affection. He definitely wouldn't be used to sincere, loving words directed toward him, especially paired with innocent touches without ulterior motive

- He's used to people flocking around him to simulate whatever he wanted, often times because of who he was, rather than out of genuine interest. If you gave him attention freely, because you wanted to, it would unlock a completely different side of him

- He would be enamored with you, quickly losing interest in everyone else as he fixated on you. Your praises, kindness and attention would always leave him a smiling mess

- Needless to say, Pavi is very physically affectionate, so he'd adore that you were, too. You wouldn't have many opportunities to initiate it, though, as he'd be quite clingy and touchy without prompting

- Pavi returns affection and compliments, of course. He praises you and talks sweetly (at least, you think it’s sweet?) in his typical eccentric way, bragging about you and how much you loved ~the Pavi~ to his siblings (and probably anyone who listens)

Billy Lenz:

- Billy can say the lewdest things, yet somehow still manages to get flustered when you give him any type of affection

- That doesn't mean he doesn't like it though. Quite contrarily, he'd (discreetly, or so he thought) give you every opportunity to give him affection, not wanting to seem obvious or have to ask

- He could literally curl up in your lap like a cat and just fall asleep, clinging to you and melting into your touches

- Your compliments would often be received with a clumsy attempt at self-assuredness, too embarrassed by your sweet words to keep up the ruse. That wouldn't stop him from attempting it, though

- He adores your sweet personality, and would be far softer than you might think with you. Keeps lewd, awkward comments to a minimum and replaces them instead with sweeter, gentler words (well, to the extent that he is capable of, anyways)

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