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lisired · 1 month

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whisper

pairing: actor/dad’s best friend!doyoung x actress!reader

genre/warnings: smut, dilf!doyoung, cheating, secret love affair, age gap (21+), minor impact play, loads of praise with a hint of degradation, protected and unprotected sex (dont be silly wrap ur willy), oral (f receiving), fingering, non-idol actor!au, yet another special appearance by mark lee, taeyong is mcs dad im sorry.

summary: When you were nineteen, you could only dream of meeting Kim Doyoung in his sheets. Behind his back you watched all the movies he starred in, wanting nothing more than to be the one he touched whenever a sex scene came on. So when the opportunity surfaced four years later after you’re casted together in the same movie, you didn’t hesitate to snag it - even if it meant hiding from his wife, your father, and the public. And even if feelings developed.

word count: 8.9k

a/n: 2/4 of the Temptation series. Feedback is appreciated!

Doyoung was doing what people called, “living the dream.”

More like he did an excellent job at convincing people he was. There was something humorous to you about the article concerning the allegedly perfect life of your co-star. It summed his life up as, “happily married with a child, thriving with a successful career in the entertainment industry, and age having yet to catch up to him.”

You supposed what they said wasn’t entirely false. Thirty-six years into his life, Doyoung was still fairly young. He had a beautiful wife, a beautiful daughter, and loved his job with a passion, but beneath all of that beauty was the ugly he had carefully tucked out of the public’s prying eyes. His marriage was more loveless and affair-filled than the show he put on gave away.

And you were a culprit.

The story was a long one. For you, it started when you were nineteen. That year was a grand one for Doyoung as he was getting booked left to right and it begun his legacy as “the actor with the steamy sex scenes.” You watched every single movie. Scene after scene, you wondered how he made something so hot look so realistic, and imagined being the one under him.

Little did you know, your dreams would come true four years later. When you were asked roughly two years ago to star alongside Kim Doyoung in an upcoming romantic drama by the name of Whisper, you couldn’t deny the opportunity. A part of you feared what your father would think of the role, considering Doyoung was a good friend of his, but you were relieved when he wasn’t bothered. He called it “the beauty of acting.”

It was too bad that everything you felt for Doyoung was unable to be faked. You were far beyond attracted to him, on a level that the public nor your father, should’ve, would’ve, and could’ve ever known.

A knock jerked you from your thoughts. Your father stood by the door, peering in as he announced, “Hey, love. Doyoung’s here.”

Fighting your smile was too hard. Now that you were going to star in a movie together you and Doyoung met up often these days, even though you no longer were in the stage of what he dubbed perfecting your chemistry (but all that ever meant was sneaking away into his sheets.)

It stung to wonder if he slept with all his co-stars. No wonder their sex scenes looked so natural, the emotion had to be raw.

Shoving the thought into the back of your head, you rose from your bed and replied, “Alright. I’ll be back tonight, love you.”

“Love you too, dear. Have fun!”

Doyoung was standing outside the front door when you arrived there. He smiled gently, outstretching his hand kindly and waiting for you to slip your fingers between his, which you did promptly. “Missed me?”

Oh, did you. With the movie being a priority for you both, there was never a large gap in between times that you saw one another, but your new-found attachment to Doyoung made every second seem to drag on. You woke up every morning and couldn’t wait to see him.

You groaned, “You have no idea.”

Doyoung chuckled. He opened the car door for you and once you were seated, leaned into your ear and whispered, “Why don’t you show me how much when we get home?”

There was no confusion on how he managed to persuade you into his sheets. On-screen and off-screen Doyoung was relentlessly sexy, and his voice alone sent shivers down your spine. You loved when he whispered dirty things in your ear like that. It was gentle yet hot, and made your whole body tense with desire.

“Y-yeah,” you murmured in your best attempt at feigning unaffectedness. Actor to actress however, Doyoung could see right through you. He knew you wanted him and it amused him how poor of a job you did at hiding it.

On the way to his house, you tried to think of anything but the surge of arousal between your thighs. What you were meant to be doing was crafting impeccable chemistry. Doyoung was an actor known for his undeniable chemistry with his costars and the raunchy sex scenes that came from them, and you being his best friend’s daughter made you no exception to his streak.

You were to play the role of a mistress of an heir who had his life painted perfectly and was adored by his country. In reality, his marriage was complicated and brittle and he turned to a mistress to relieve himself of the things he couldn’t seek in his wife. It was almost amusing to you that the drama seemed to hit the nail on the head when it came to describing what your relationship had become. You’d be damned if anyone said the acting was anything less than extraordinary - all of the emotion was real.

The car ride came to an abrupt end with your thoughts. Doyoung helped you out of the vehicle and barely let you breathe when you both stepped inside his house. He was pressing you back against the door in a matter of seconds, lips targeting your neck as his fingers worked hungrily to undress you.

“Fuck,” you moaned softly. He was making you impatient. “How much time do we have?”

“The whole day if we wanted. Maya took Daphne to see her grandmother this weekend, and they’ll be gone until Monday morning.”

That sounded like heaven. With the feeling of Doyoung’s body on yours, you were relieved to know that you could savor it longer, without having to race to pleasure. You two had also been working actively on the movie a lot harder than it seemed right now, and these little sexcapades were like much-needed breaks.

As if he could read your mind, Doyoung teased as he slid your shirt down your shoulders, “Bet you like the thought of fucking me all day, huh? You want me all to yourself?”

“Doyoung,” you whimpered.

“Shh, don’t worry, baby,” he crooned, sweeping you into his arms and making a move towards the bedroom, “I’m gonna take care of you.”

It was almost telepathic. There was a mutual understanding between you both that went beyond sex, and that was how you landed yourself in this predicament in the first place; you understood his needs, he understood yours.

“I missed you, too,” Doyoung announced quietly as he pushed your panties to the side, helping himself to your pussy. “I’ve been thinking about you.”

You replied in the midst of a moan, “Thinking about me?”

“Mm-hm,” he hummed and leaned closer to your ear, “A lot. Thinking about you under me. On me. Thinking about how needy you are and get from the smallest things. Thinking about how cute you sound when I touch you and how shy you get when I tell you what I wanna do to you.”

His honesty would be the death of you. Doyoung was open yet tender in the way that he expressed things, completely unafraid of intimacy and letting you know that he wanted you. He never let you forget that he adored every aspect of your body, showering you in kisses and more often than not, praises in the form of whispers.

You were weak, and it didn’t help that at the same time he was telling you things that made your heart race, his fingers were also pacing in and out of you. He was no longer a want - you needed him inside of you, now.

“Fuck me already,” you cried, your patience dissipating rapidly.

Disapproving of your attitude, Doyoung delivered a smack to your thigh that made you cry out once more. “Where’s your manners?”

You had forgotten them - and anything that wasn’t the growing ache between your thighs, for that matter. It was safe to say that your eagerness had taken over you, although you knew Doyoung would give you everything you wanted as long as you behaved. He was always gentle unless you gave him a reason to be the opposite, and that was on rare occasions. But once he decided to show you no mercy, you were doomed. And you didn’t even want to think about not cumming.

“Doyoung, please fuck me,” you corrected yourself, adding for good measure, “I need you. So bad, it hurts.”

He hummed, satisfied. “Well we can’t have that, can we?”

Doyoung withdrew his fingers and whirled you around, hushing you with a kiss before you could whimper any complaint. All you could focus on was the taste of his tongue in your mouth, grounding yourself with his shoulders as the gesture had caught you off-guard. Meanwhile he was tugging your panties off, with help from you as you lifted your legs.

He cupped your pussy again and you moaned into his mouth before he parted and asked, “You want me?”

“Yes,” you replied a little too fast. “Please.”

“Then show me.”

It was obvious what he meant by showing him. He wanted you to ride him, and you weren’t one to argue. You’d take Doyoung in any position he was willing to try. You just needed him in you.

Doyoung was never too bent on specific positions, either. He was always the one in control, but he was firm enough in himself that he didn’t need to be on top to show power. Even if it was your body making the movements, it was him telling you what to do. Most of the time you had no problem bending to his will.

Right now was one of those times. You yanked down his boxers, discarding them onto the ground with your own underwear in a hurry and didn’t hesitate to reach out for his hard-on. With you already straddling him, you took the base of his dick in your palm, placing on him the condom he passed you then slid onto him.

The two of you moaned in perfect sync once you sank down on him. You could come up with several perks of fucking Doyoung, but one of your favorites was that no matter how much he liked to whisper, he was a vocal moaner by nature. Doyoung was a master at silencing himself whenever he deemed it necessary, however you loved when he refused to restrain himself and even more that he was unashamed; he loved expression through sex and pleasure.

He sounded like an angel, too. It felt like traveling through a portal to heaven whenever Doyoung moaned your name.

Doyoung asked once you had adjusted, “How you feeling, baby?”

“Good,” you sighed out in bliss. He was so deep inside you that you could barely breathe. “And full.”

“Of course. You take it like no one before you, baby girl,” he praised, and all the while you felt like the room was spinning.

Doyoung was indirectly stating that you were a better fuck than his wife. You didn’t like to think about Doyoung fucking other people when it wasn’t movies, but there was a reason that he was balls deep inside you right now instead of her. Everything that she could do, he realized, you could do better. Much, much better.

Deflecting the attention, you asked, “How do you feel?”

“I’m good too, baby. You’re so fucking tight,” Doyoung growled with zero hesitation. He was so fucking hot. You saw him barely fighting the utmost smug grin when you clenched around him.

He was better than anyone else before him too, in every fashion. No one had ever made your skin swelter the way Doyoung had. He said a word or made a bare touch and it was as though your whole body was consumed by flames. Somehow he made every moment feel as blissful as the first time, and every touch grazed upon your flesh by his fingertips lingered on you for days. Memories of what you’d done always replayed in your mind until you could have another taste.

Doyoung couldn’t be paid to keep his hands off of you. He steered you with a single hand clutching your waist and the other played to its content on your chest, bearing in mind that you always loved when he touched you there. Your body was a diamond to him - beautiful and precious, and he never got bored of you. Doyoung had seen you bare and naked an ungodly amount of times before, but each time he fell endlessly in love with it over and over again. He was utterly sure that he could never get bored of fucking you, and the feeling that accompanied it.

He pressed kisses to your neck, murmuring in between, “You ride me so good, baby.”

You were certain that you could explode. Doyoung had too much power over the entirety of your body. He made your pussy throb but your heart hammer, and sometimes he made you so nervous you wanted to cower. But there was nowhere - nothing to hide. You were both naked and exposed, skin to skin, uncovering your deepest emotions with the sex.

There was nowhere to run and you didn’t want to be anywhere if it wasn’t beside him.

The rest of the day dragged on like that - you and Doyoung fucking each other’s brains out, taking turns with different positions. You’d fuck, take a break to do something productive, then ultimately wind up having sex again. There was no self control when it came to either of you, you couldn’t keep your hands to yourselves.

And frankly, you didn't want to.

As an actress, maybe facades should have been second nature to you. You were the daughter of a director and sucked into the industry due to nepotism - it should have been practically flowing in your bloodstream. But you underestimated just how hard pretending you weren’t hooking up with one of your dad’s friends was.

Especially his best friend.

The reason your dad trusted Doyoung so much was because they were close, having known one another since before you were even a thought meandering in your parents’ mind. Your dad mentored Doyoung since he was nine years old until he didn’t need it anymore. That also meant he was around you often - around your entire family. Including your dad. Ignoring the rhythm of your heartbeat when he was around you and the uneasy tension between you became easier with time, but subduing the feeling completely was impossible. Much less possible when he found ways to tease you in secret.

You were at a party at your dad’s house and Doyoung had been unabashedly eye-fucking you all evening long. That alone made it obvious what he wanted, but it was all in the way he touched you too. Locking arms with you and grazing his hands against you seductivelyf when no one else was looking. It was risky, but you had to admit, it made it a little fun.

By the time the party was over though, you were sure all that lust had dulled into fatigue. Doyoung looked worn-out and gone as he rested on the couch, the last of your guests and unable to drive home because of how much liquor he’d consumed. That was what you overheard him telling your dad, at least. He insisted on getting an Uber, but your dad told him to take the guest room and some Aspirin in the morning.

Doyoung pulled your dad in for a brief hug. “Thanks, Taeyong. See you in the morning.”

“Of course,” Taeyong replied. “And go easier on the alcohol next time. You know you can’t handle too much.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Doyoung teased.

With a laugh, your dad patted him on the back and wished him goodnight, then went to join your mother in bed. You peered from around the corner, suspicion bottling up in your chest. It was possible that he was, but you didn’t want to be faced with the disappointment of it being true.

Arms folded across your chest, you asked, “You really drunk, babe?”

For a split second, Doyoung had looked surprised to hear you accusing him of feigning his intoxication. Then it wore off, and he chuckled. He looked around the hallway, and once he confirmed that you both were alone, admitted, “You caught me.”

You were a bit shocked to know that he was sober, but not that he’d feign inebriety - that didn’t surprise you. If Doyoung was set on having something he’d stop at almost nothing to get what he wanted. He did a damn good job at fooling everyone, too. You were under the impression that he was drunk and only confronted him for your own sake.

“Of course,” you murmured, then pressed, “May I ask your motive?” you had already known, but for some reason you wanted to lay down some cards to see what move he’d make.

Doyoung saw right through you, however. He always did. He leaned in and whispered, “Don’t play dumb with me, baby. You know exactly what my motive is.”

And like always, that had you ready to drop your panties in a heartbeat.

“Meet me in the guest room in 30,” he commanded, then turned away in the direction of said room.

No more than thirty minutes later, you were in bed with him. This time he was the one hovering above you, and it made you feel as though you were being preyed on - a billion times more susceptible to anything that he desired to do to your body and you loved it. Doyoung was in full reign. He always had been, but something different sparked whenever he was constantly making the moves for you.

“Want it?” Doyoung asked in between short-lived kisses, ones that never felt like enough no matter how many he pressed to your skin because he was adamant on not applying enough pressure to result in marking you. Lord knew it was all he ever wanted, but it was too risky. Not only would your family grow curious, public speculation would grow about a possible love affair.

You breathed out, “Need it.”

Doyoung chuckled, yet every sign of amusement faded the very moment he prodded the head of his dick inside you. There was nothing but sheer pleasure swarming his face like gloomy storm clouds. Reminding himself that you weren’t necessarily alone, he bit his lip to suppress the sounds he was ever so tempted to make.

You, on the other hand, subconsciously leaned towards the careless side. This wasn’t your first rodeo, but the problem was that the experience never dulled the more you had sex; it did the opposite. Each time was better than the last and you struggled to hide how much Doyoung aroused you. Every single touch, thrust, and whisper had you falling apart at the seams. You simply couldn’t resist emitting even the quietest of moans and although Doyoung loved hearing you moan for him, he needed you to keep your voice to a minimum.

“Shh,” Doyoung whispered, cupping his palm over your mouth as he looked you dead in the eye. “Don’t want your daddy to know that I’m fucking you limp, do you?”

You shook your head in vehement denial. Although the walls were thick and the guest bedroom and your parents bedroom were on entirely different wings, Doyoung still didn’t want to get too comfortable unless the house was completely vacanted. You didn’t blame him. It was much better to be safe than sorry.

“Then stop being a brat and shut your mouth before I have to do it for you.”

That tempted you to fuck around and find out what that entailed, but you wouldn’t take the risk here. Instead you bit down on your lip and squeezed your eyes shut whenever he made a sharp thrust.

Other noises that were beyond your individual control made it all too obvious that you were having sex. The slight creak of the bed and the slapping noise of your skin joining together whenever Doyoung thrusted his hips into yours. All it would take was someone wandering a little too close in proximity to the bedroom to tell what was going on, but as forementioned, your parents were on the opposite wing. That made it easier to focus on Doyoung. The way his mouth fell agape in silent moans or his teeth dug into his bottom lip to conceal his pleasure. The way his grip on your waist tightened whenever you clenched around him. Whatever it was he did, you were completely entranced by his reactions.

Doyoung only mirrored your awe as he watched the way your cunt swallowed him greedily. He could see the print of his bulge flat against your stomach and it sent him into overdrive. If anything, he only began pounding you harder in spite of the noise, leaving you to grip the sheets for dear life and let your eyes roll back.

“Always so tight for me,” Doyoung growled. “Don’t I fuck you enough?”

You whimpered in response as quietly as you could, “I need more.”

“My greedy little slut,” he sighed out in bliss, hips seemingly rocking into you deeper as he fulfilled your wish. Something about him claiming you as his possession was exhilarating to you. You were his greedy little slut. “Gonna fuck you all night long, baby.”

God, you knew he could. It wouldn’t be the first time Doyoung fucked you right into the mattress round after round, until you physically and mentally tapped out - and it damn sure wouldn’t be the last.

Having sex with Doyoung was everything nineteen-year-old you dreamed it would be, and then some. The movies had nothing on the real experience. They were graphic and arousing, but having Doyoung hold and touch you already made you feel as if your head was in the clouds. He made you feel wanted with his kisses and praises directed to you specifically, and the sexual tension between you was practically as good as the sex itself. Every moment with him was intimate and there was nothing better than being able to say that you had the Kim Doyoung in your sheets.

Then there also wasn’t some big explanation. Doyoung simply fucked you good and gave you sex on the ceiling. He knew your body inside out and was your greatest vice. It was natural that you were inclined to come back to someone who fucked you better than anyone else.

Doyoung’s pace began to quicken yet his thrusts became shallower, and by then - after the multiple occasions that you’d spent fucking and sucking the life out of one another - you knew well enough that it was a signal he was close. To say nothing of the moans you could tell he was struggling to contain. You weren’t any better yourself, feeling the knot inside you tightening. Both your bodies were aching for a release.

“Cum for me,” Doyoung exhaled, the drive of his hips fiercer than ever. He was breathless, yet still relentlessly digging you deeper into the mattress without an ounce of mercy.

If nobody heard the two of you going at it all night long, you were sure that there’d be suspicions now that you were going to be walking with a limp.

You cried when you came, “Doyoung!” Your hands scrambled for something to anchor yourself on, anything, the grip of your finger’s moving to claw at his shoulders. Doyoung grimaced and fought a grunt, but it was no secret to you that he was a sucker for a little pain.

Doyoung’s body reacted to yours, releasing into the condom with profanities, followed by the gentle grunt of your name the moment he felt the tightening grip of your walls. You loved when he did that. There was something about Doyoung moaning your name that made you want to finish him all over again, in spite of your sensitivity fresh after orgasming in his hold. If it were possible, you would loop the sound in your brain.

His hips didn’t stop rocking into you even after either of you came, savoring his high until it faded into the post-euphoria of his orgasm. He tossed out the condom, making a mental note to dispose of it properly before he fell asleep, then climbed back in bed with you. “You did well,” he whispered once he joined your side again, embracing you and kissing your skin.

You smiled. “Tired?”

“Honestly? It’s been a long night. I needed this, baby.”

You figured as much. He was fucking you like he worked a nine to five and had a week-load worth of stress to unleash in your pussy. That either meant he was exhausted beyond belief and wanted to sleep, or that there was plenty more where that came from.

“You wanna know what I’ve been thinking?”

Your ears practically perked up. Doyoung’s thoughts were either interesting or dirty - or a deadly combination of both. “What’s on your mind?”

“I wanna cum in you so damn bad.”

You had a feeling that tonight was a “there’s more where that came from” kind of night.

Doyoung finishing inside you was something that both of you fantasized about from time to time, maybe a little more often. There were risks, however you did your best to stay safe - Doyoung got tested immediately after he found out his wife was cheating on him, and you were on birth control. You didn’t know when the last time him and his wife had sex was, but you doubted it was any time after he started fucking you. The condoms were a force of habit.

“You’re clean, right?”

Doyoung nodded in an instant.

“Then, why don’t you?”

“Oh, baby,” he growled. “Trust me, I would right now if this was my house.”

You almost moaned when he did that. You were turned on all over again, but it wasn’t like you had reached the point of being turned off in the first place. Things worked like that with Doyoung.

“Condom, no condom, I don’t care. Just fuck me,” you whined, desperate to feel him between your walls all over again.

Doyoung wore a smug grin, climbing back onto you without having to be told twice. “Told you, I’m gonna fuck you all night long.”

And he did.

Misconceptions were popular amongst the lives of famous people, and Kim Doyoung was no exception. The public saw only what he was willing to expose - showing off his family and thanking the world for his endless amount of awards. No one would have guessed that a man who seemed to have such a picture-perfect lifestyle would ever be having an affair.

You and Doyoung were a long story. It started after Doyoung realized his wife was cheating on him with a D-list celebrity. By then they already had been arguing here and there, most of it being her fault. He told you that the only reason they hadn’t gone their own separate ways was for the sake of their child.

And then you came along. Unbeknownst to you at the time, Doyoung had always been aware of your attraction towards him. He found it cute but never thought too much of it until you were both casted together in Whisper, and having to work with you on such a sensual movie made tension between you light up in sparks. It wasn’t long before he confronted you, and even less before you got a taste of what people raved about endlessly in articles and on social media. You weren’t the only girl wondering what sex with Doyoung was like, but you were one of the few who would ever actually get to know the experience.

And goddamn, was it a heavenly one.

It really made you think. You’d have to be an absolute idiot to cheat on the fucking Kim Doyoung.

Tonight was the long-awaited movie premiere. Years of filming Whisper made you feel somewhat emotional, maybe because you could relate to your character all too well. The movie was so suspiciously accurate that you caught yourself reflecting and comparing the circumstances. It was a hell of a coincidence, but you knew that there was nothing more to it with the affair occuring only sometime after you’d been casted.

“You look breathtaking in this dress,” Doyoung told you after the red carpet photographs.

“Don’t flatter me,” you murmured, pretending that there weren’t butterflies swarming in your stomach. Your attraction to Doyoung may have grown beyond physical; a little more limitless than you’d like to admit. But that was a story for another day and another time.

Then, he leaned in and whispered, “You gonna let me take it off you tonight?”

You were glad that there was no more press around since you were on the way to the theater. Otherwise people might have caught onto what was a sensual moment for you. You tried your best to feign unbotheredness, but Doyoung left you hot and bothered and you couldn’t hide it.

Your mouth felt dry. “Y-yeah.”

Doyoung was amused. You were easily shy sometimes, yet also no questions asked to his wants. It was always fun seeing the effect he had on you and messing around on purpose just to get a kick out of it.

“I’ll send you a location. Have Mark take you there.”

Mark was your personal Uber - and the only person who knew what was happening between you and Doyoung. Thanks to Doyoung wanting to have car sex one time a year ago and not checking if you were alone, you winded up having to explain your situation to Mark, but he was shockingly understanding. There was no fear or doubt with him and it was a relief.

Doyoung walked off moments later, planting the seed that was growing in your brain. Seeing him dressed up only watered it, you thought he looked just as breathtaking as you were to him. Now you were thinking about getting naked and screwing Doyoung at some random location, and you had no idea how you were going to get through the movie premiere.

The next few hours were probably the longest of your life. They were exciting however, with all the positive reactions and feedback on the movie from your peers. There was dinner and socializing and while you were enjoying yourself tremendously and extremely proud of how the movie turned out, you needed Doyoung on such a greater level that nothing could satiate.

When it was finally time to leave, you hopped in the car and told Mark the location Doyoung had texted you via iMessage. Other than someone who simply worked for you, you also thought of Mark as a good friend. He was closer to your age than he was Doyoung’s, and was always fun to talk to.

“You and Doyoung going at it tonight, huh?”

You laughed. “When don’t we?”

Mark shrugged. It was a good question that he didn’t know the answer to, but he knew that it was none of his business. Unfortunately however, he sucked at minding his own.

“I, have a question…,” he started, sounding hesitant as ever, which only made you curious.

Curiously, you urged him. “Go on.”

“You and Doyoung,” he continued, still reluctant, as if he was taste testing his words before he said them. “Don’t shoot me, but is it just sex? Or have you guys caught feelings?”

Naturally, you opened your mouth to respond, but quickly closed it when you realized that you didn’t have an answer. The simple answer was on the tip of your tongue - Yes. But your relationship with Doyoung was so much more complicated than that, and you hated to think about how he felt towards you. You had been trying to accept that you weren’t supposed to be anything but a pretty plaything for him to run to whenever he was fed up with his wife and needed some relief. Gradually, you were becoming okay with that.

Yet another part of you was hungry for more. That was always how you were. Whenever you got what you wanted, it still wasn’t enough. You were too greedy and insatiable, and desired all the things that were bad for you.

Mark added when he caught onto your silence, “Forget it if I’m being invasive. I just saw you smiling out the window and all bubbly when I mentioned him and I got curious.”

“No, it’s okay,” you replied, although you felt like melting into the leather seat. One way or another, you guessed that you’d have to confront your emotions eventually. “To be honest… I think I do like him. And it’s sick because I don’t want to, I shouldn’t want to, I shouldn’t want him. But here we are, and I don’t think he feels the same.”

“I think he does.”

That made you snort. “You’re just saying that.”

“No, I’m deadass,” Mark said without a trace of a smile on his face as you watched him through the rear view mirror. “Do you see the way he looks at you?”

“Like he wants to fuck me? Yeah.”

“Like he wants you,” Mark corrected. “Like you hung up each fuckin’ star in the sky by hand. I can tell you guys don’t just want to fuck each other. You seem to enjoy each other’s company and with all the times I’ve had to witness you two sucking each other’s tongues in the back of this car I’d be damned if there wasn’t something there.”

You sat there in silent shock. When you thought about it, maybe Mark was correct. You fell in love with how gently and lovingly Doyoung treated you even outside of sex, but you never got your hopes up. Maybe it was just him having the decency to treat you well. Maybe it was the bare minimum that you were swooning over.

But Doyoung went above and beyond when it came to you. He cooked for you whenever you stayed over and held you longer than he needed to. He took you places and bought you things you wanted yet never needed. He seemed to always put you first and was honestly the most selfless person that you knew. That was what you loved about him. He always went the extra mile.

Damn it. You really did want Doyoung.

Mark pulled into the driveway some moments later, and you were surprised to see that your destination wasn’t too far from the venue. It was a nice house with a gate that you told him the code to, and you wondered who’s name it was in and why you hadn’t gone here sooner.

“I’m sorry about what you see,” you responded, a little too late, but Mark didn’t seem to mind. It was understood that you needed a moment to reflect.

Mark shrugged without a care in the world. He smiled and said, “It’s alright as long as I get to see you happy. Now go get him.”

You smiled back. Mark’s words always felt like a pat on the back.

When you rang the doorbell, Doyoung opened the door for you, offering you no time before he swooped you inside and pinned you against the door. You squealed, cut off by his lips latching onto your mouth as he kissed you breathless. You were getting deja vu, recalling the last time that this had happened.

“I have a feeling you missed me,” you said once he pulled you away and let you breathe.

Doyoung pecked your lips, smiling softly against them. “Always.”

Your heart fluttered at the feeling. After your talk with Mark you were now hyper aware of all the little things about Doyoung that you loved, and his cute smile was one of them.

In your attempt to distract yourself from your heartbeat you asked, “Where are we?”

“One of my brother’s houses. He’s not here frequently, said I could use it for the night.”

Even as a wealthy celebrity who thrived off of nepotism, you never understood the rich’s obsession with buying house after house just to hardly live in them. But in this moment you were grateful because it meant that you and Doyoung were all alone, and you could be as loud as and do whatever your hearts desired.

“Oh, I see,” you purred, threading your fingers through his hair. “You must want me screaming my lungs off tonight.”

Doyoung nodded his head. “And that’s not all. I went and got tested again. I haven’t slept with her in a while, or anyone else for that matter, but I just felt like it. It came back negative. I’m clean.”

There were a billion thoughts racing in your mind, and then some. You were throbbing at the idea of Doyoung fucking you raw alone, but to have the opportunity being presented to you was something entirely different. You wanted it. Bad.

“Fuck, you really wanna do this?”

“I really wanna fuck you,” Doyoung said. Then something in him seemed to falter. “Actually no. I don’t just wanna fuck you. I wanna make love to you. I don’t care if it sounds corny, you’re my everything, baby, and I wanna show you that I mean it.”

It took a moment for what he was implying to sink in, but when it did, you were ready. “Show me, then,” you stared him dead in the eye. “I can handle it.”

“I know you can, babe,” Doyoung growled, then crashed his lips back against yours. In the same timeframe you were undressing one another as he aided you to a room, unraveling in the midst of heated fervor.

Your dress landed in a heap on the floor, soon followed by your underwear until you were both stripped bare. You felt exposed, but in an exhilarating way. It meant he was free to do whatever he wished to your body.

Doyoung pinned you to the comforter then went for your skin like he always did, as though showering your body in warm kisses was a natural instinct. Something still felt different. He kissed you slower, gradually making progress down from your collarbone to your thighs. Taking his time to peck your weakest spots. He was showing your body - showing you love.

“Fuck, I wanna mark you so bad,” he said randomly, taking you by surprise. Doyoung had never intentionally marked you, the two of you fearing being suspected, or even caught. “We should get away. Go out of town for a while so that I can mark you, until they clear up.”

You giggled and threaded your fingers through his hair. “Now how would we do that in the middle of promotions - press appearances and interviews?”

Doyoung sighed. “Let me dream.”

That made you giggle again, and Doyoung smiled to himself at the sound. He loved everything about you and tonight, he was determined to show you exactly how much.

“Mark me where no one can see, but you. My body’s for your eyes only,” you told him. Your relationship was committed. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had slept with another person and the very moment you started sleeping with him, you had no reason to want to be with anyone else.

“If I start now, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop,” Doyoung warned.

You shrugged. “Then don’t.”

Tonight seemed to be full of reckless decision-making, and you were tempting him to make another one. It would possibly be the least rash of all the others to come, so when you decided that you didn’t care, he concluded that he didn’t either.

Doyoung’s lips always felt good on your skin, but having him suck and bite on you was incomparable. You felt like a teenager in love for the very first time, infatuated with this newfound feeling and dreading the end. Your breath was hitching as his mouth blemished your stomach, an array of marks forming delicately. Heat suffocated your body as the room seemed to only grow hotter, and you wondered if it was all in your mind or if he felt it too.

You were practically covered head to toe in red blotches when he was finished with you. For a while Doyoung watched your chest rise and fall rapidly with a proud glint in his eye, evidently pleased with his hard work. And nothing felt better than having traces of him all over your body. It felt scandalous, but you liked it.

He rose up to lean in your ear and ask, “I’m gonna eat you out now. Is that okay with you, baby?”

You nodded without wasting a moment of time. It was more than okay if you were being honest, you were needy for him and whatever bit of him you could get.

Doyoung was straight to the action when he positioned himself between your thighs, and the contrast from his previous slow-paced actions gave you whiplash. Your mouth parted open in a moan and you fixed your hands back on his black locks, observing on your back how his tongue moved relentlessly against you.

It was dangerous that he knew your body’s ins and outs. Doyoung had a superpower where he could see right through you. He knew what made you tick. He knew exactly where to touch you and where you were most sensitive. He knew the difference between what felt just good and what left your skin scorching with desire. You suspected that there was a blueprint to your body engraved behind his eyelids. Then again, after two years of this routine - sneaking away to screw one another until your bodies ached and maybe sometimes a little longer - it made sense that he had learned how your body worked.

And god, Doyoung loved how it responded to his touches. Your body always trembled a little, your thighs wavering as you struggled to handle the pleasure. Your breath got shallow and he was a sucker for the little exhales you emit whenever he did as little as touch you. You always reached out for something to clutch with all your might to help support yourself. You were tight as a bitch and there was never a dull moment being inside you. His mouth was watering at the mere thought of going bareback.

You cried as you felt close, “Doyoung, baby, fuck.”

“Let go,” he cooed, then his lips were back on your cunt.

There was no need for you to be told twice. Your grip on his hair tightened as you orgasmed, uncontrollably bucking up and grinding your hips into his mouth. A shriek came from your mouth as you finished, but Doyoung didn’t look like he was done with you just yet.

“One more time,” Doyoung said. He didn’t look willing to be deterred, already set on his mission before the words left his mouth. Still, he added tauntingly, “Unless, you can’t handle it.”

You fired immediately, “N-no, I can take it.”

Your squirming body and fucked out face betrayed your words, as well as the tremble in your voice, but Doyoung grinned condescendingly at how eager you still were to take everything that he was giving you.

“Good girl,” he cooed. Then his mouth was set back on your cunt.

Although the first one worked like a charm, Doyoung had a new tactic this round - fingering you. His ring and middle fingers prodded you, toying with your clit until he was satisfied with your whimpers and stuck them in. All at once his mouth was sucking on you, his nose nudging your clit and it had you soaring through cloud nine. There was something about the way Doyoung made you feel that was incomparable to any other emotion ever evoked within you.

You were still sensitive from your last orgasm, so every move Doyoung made had you at least twice as blissed out. You couldn’t help but emit a cry of his name at even the slightest of contact, quickly becoming overwhelmed by pleasure. To make matters worse (better), Doyoung was like a storm and refused to let up. There was no other option than for you to take everything he was offering to the best of your ability, to prove that you could handle him just as much as you claimed. You weren’t one to tap out too easily.

The pressure was too much. Quicker than before, you were yet again close to imploding. His quite literally handy work was enough to shove you over the edge, and you barely had the chance to warn him before you were thrown over it.

“I’m…” was all you could say before you were screaming, body convulsing as your orgasm fell upon you once more. It was the second time tonight, but deep inside you knew that it was still far from the last.

Doyoung finally showed you mercy and pulled away this time around, lips all wet by the time that he was finished. There was nothing that you could say that would convey how you felt. You could only lie there in silence with your chest heaving at rapid speed as you tried to endure your daze.

“Think you can still handle it?” He asked with a smile.

You were offended that he doubted you. “Try me.”

He didn’t wait around. Doyoung was lining himself up at your slit in mere seconds and the feeling of his tip brushing against it was making you drastically impatient. Moments like this made days without fucking him feel like weeks.

Finally he pushed into you, at a pace so slow it was almost agonizing. Doyoung leant his head back with a moan at that very moment, adjusting to the feeling of your bare walls. You felt tighter, wetter and warmer, and he already felt as if he could bust. Especially when you instantly clenched upon his entrance. One round definitely wasn’t going to be enough.

“S-shit,” you moaned, a clear waver in your voice. There was nothing else that you needed to say - your body definitely gave away how pleased you were to feel him. Your head lolled back against the pillow and you sighed in satisfaction.

As his hips rocked back and forth, the thoughts inside Doyoung’s brains only developed more and more, all of them centered around you. For one, he thought that there wasn’t a single word that could describe how beautiful you looked underneath him. Moonlight snook past the curtains and glimmered on your exposed skin, highlighting your breast and face. The fucked out expression you wore on your face only expanded his urge to keep you up all night, rocking into you slowly and steadily to savor the moment. The marks he left on you also bathed in the moonlight. That was all it took for Doyoung to lose his mind.

Second of all, Doyoung couldn’t fathom why he waited so long to fuck you raw. Sex with you would always be amazing regardless of what either of you chose to do, but he knew it’d be a lie to say that he didn’t prefer it this way. From the looks of it, you felt the exact same.

Doyoung swooped you into a sudden kiss, effectively cutting off your moans. You instead whimpered into his mouth with pleasant surprise, kissing him back with the same passion. When he was satisfied he pulled back and murmured, “You’re so beautiful, baby.”

His praise was your poison. You were addicted to him, intoxicated by him, and even if it was wrong you wouldn’t have it any other way. All your worries vanished when you had Doyoung by your side. When he touched you, you couldn’t even think of anyone - or anything - else besides him. You were all about him, and there wasn’t a single other person that could make you feel the way that he did. There wasn’t anyone who could please or satisfy you just like Doyoung.

You liked that Doyoung didn’t throw words around either. When he called you beautiful, he showed you that he meant it. His fingers and lips scattered around your body, hands grabbing your breast as his mouth sucked more marks into any available space. He meant it when he said that once he started, he wouldn’t be able to stop. To him, there was no such thing as enough.

That’s when you realized you and Doyoung may have mirrored one another. Too much greed in your hearts to ever be satiated, and perhaps that’s why you were a perfect match. You could attempt to drain one another completely, milk each other dry, and still never exhaust.

“You’re mine,” Doyoung whispered between pecks. “Tell me you’re mine.”

You stammered, “I’m yours.”

Doyoung moved his hand to your clit, fingers rubbing to their content. “Again.”

“I’m… I’m yours! I’m all yours, Doyoung,” you cried. You had meant it. Your body longed for him. After two entire years of this, you felt like your body belonged to him.

Satisfied, Doyoung kept up his actions. You were clueless as to how loud either of you were being in that moment. The bed creaked some and there was a loud smack whenever his hips slammed into yours, but you were only focused on Doyoung. Beads of sweat collected on his skin yet there wasn’t a hint of exhaustion on his face; only pleasure. His bare, sweaty chest glistened in the moonlight, and you desperately wanted to mark him back. Just like he’d done you.

It was too bad that he had someone to come back to. He may not have had sex with his wife, but there were other instances where she was bound to see his body and it was too risky. The only reason either of you cared was not because he was afraid of her finding out that he was cheating back, but because there was a chance that she’d put the pieces together. All it took was a name and you would be in hot water.

That thought made something in you sullen, and you had to dispose of the feeling quickly.

“You’re mine, too,” you said. “Right?”

Doyoung reached for your hand and slipped his fingers between yours. “I’m all yours, I promise. You’re my one and only.”

That was enough to placate you. Doyoung belonged to you and you belonged to him, you didn’t care what the documents said. He was all yours.

Now you were approaching your climax, and by the death grip Doyoung was currently holding on your hips you could tell that you weren’t alone. His moans were getting louder and it wouldn’t be long before he was ready to bust.

“Breed me, Doyoung, please,” you begged. You had reached a point of desperacy, rolling your hips into his to match his thrusts as you chased your orgasm. “Breed me, breed me, breed me.”

“Fuck,” Doyoung groaned. You were driving him crazy. It meant everything to know that you wanted this just as badly as he did. “I’m gonna give it all to you, babe.”

Your vision clouded with nothing but white when you reached your climax, squeezing Doyoung’s hand for leverage. As your limbs shook, your mouth gaped in moans but your cunt tightened around Doyoung. That was the last straw for him, the last push he needed. His moans resounded throughout the room as his warm cum coated your walls, filling you to your brim. He came a lot, but you weren’t complaining. The feeling of his seed inside you was ever so quickly becoming one of your favorites.

When he pulled out, Doyoung proudly watched how his cum trickled from you. He wanted to do it over and over again. The clock on the nightstand read two A.M., and that’s when he knew that this night was going to last until the morning.

“Wanted this ever since I first saw you with Daphne. You’re so good with her,” Doyoung said, and you vaguely recalled the time he was talking about. He was trying to keep her entertained and you happened to be fairly good with children. “Knew I had to put a baby in you. I’m gonna breed you for real one day. I promise.”

“Doyoung,” you whined.

He didn’t stop. “You want that, yeah? You want me to fuck you full of my cum?”

“Please,” you begged. “Don’t stop.”

He grinned. There was no plan of stopping.

By the time Doyoung did finally stop, it was early in the morning and the sun was beginning to peak from the horizon. You giggled when he finally tapped out and fell beside you, and grabbed his face to kiss him on his lips.

Doyoung smiled. “I love you.”

You froze for a moment. “You mean that?”

“From the bottom of my heart,” he said, then added, “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure shit out. All that matters is I got you and you got me, and I won’t let anything come between us.”

It felt like there was a wait lifted from your shoulders. You weren’t free to love him whenever or wherever, but you were free to love him however much you wanted. That made it feel okay.

You pecked his lips again. “I love you, too. I’ll wait for us.”

Doyoung held you in his arms. He could only say that you were like a daydream to him, everything he could have ever wanted wrapped into one. There wasn’t one damn thing about you that he didn’t adore. You made his heart sing and dance, and he hoped his body said everything that words could not. There was no way he could explain what he felt about you.

You and Doyoung’s love was straight out of a movie. And this was only the beginning to your chase for a happily ever after.

#doyoung smut #nct 127 smut #nct smut #doyoung x reader #nct imagines #doyoung imagines #kim doyoung smut #nct x reader #nct #nct scenarios

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stylesispunk · 5 months

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"I couldn't want you anymore" | part 9

Artist!Joel Miller x florist!reader

series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

summary: when Sarah's mom comes back into Joel's life to fight for their past relationship, Joel needs to convince her he is in a happy relationship with the florist next to his gallery in order to make her go away. The problem is, that he and the florist can't stand each other's guts or that it's what he thinks.

warning: time jump, age gap (8 years), remember bee is reader's nickname, reader overthinks a lot in this one, unnecessary angst(because sad me, sad writing) fluff.

a/n: Okay, chapter 9 is here! The last chapter flopped so bad, so I hope you like this one because is more than 7k words, so give it love, please. It's kinda sad when there's no feedback at all. Reblogs and comments are appreciated. The next chapter may be the last one. Happy reading.

masterlist

One year later,

You and Joel have been dating for a year and have lived together for two weeks. You've enjoyed a lovely year together. Cooking together in the kitchen, quiet Sunday mornings with breakfast in bed, and the simple delight of coming home to one another after a long day had become treasured in both of your routines.

You couldn’t lie. You wouldn’t imagine this thing happening. Five years ago, you and Joel couldn’t even spend a minute together without wanting to murder each other, and now you were so in love that both of your hearts could burst into flames.

And today, on your first anniversary as an official couple, the day had started wonderfully okay. Joel surprised you with a beautifully arranged bouquet he made himself with flowers from your shop, a delicious breakfast in bed for you, and a promise of a dinner at night in a restaurant he had reserved for you to enjoy a romantic dinner.

He left a little earlier than you this morning since he needed to finalize some negotiations with some prominent and important painters who wanted to exhibit their work in his gallery. You were proud of him, so you didn't reach for him as much as you normally did because this day was also significant to him. So, you went about your business as normal, selling flowers and delivering a wonderful cup of tea or coffee to passers-by, occasionally stealing glances at the gallery, hoping everything was going well for Joel.

So as the evening started to envelop the clear sky, and you were closing the door of your shop, you noticed Joel’s truck was missing. You thought he had maybe gone home before you to get ready, but as soon as you arrived there, he wasn’t there. You called him, but the calls weren’t answered, and the messages neither. Still, not thinking negatively, you went upstairs to get ready.

You choose a black silky fabric flowing elegantly around you that you bought just a few days ago for this night. Despite the excitement of the evening, a flicker of concern about Joel's absence lingered in the back of your mind. You dismissed it, attributing it to the busyness of the day. As you applied a touch of makeup and styled your hair before heading to the restaurant, perhaps he was already there waiting for you.

But as night arrived, you were alone in a restaurant where you were both supposed to have dinner to celebrate your anniversary, and he hadn’t shown up.

The restaurant's ambient lighting cast a soft glow on the empty chair across from you. The anniversary celebration that started with a beautifully arranged bouquet of flowers had taken an unexpected turn as the minutes ticked by, and Joel was nowhere to be seen. The anniversary celebration, which had begun with a beautifully arranged bouquet of flowers, had taken an unexpected turn as the minutes passed, and Joel was nowhere to be seen.

Doubt crept into your mind, and you found yourself checking your phone for any missed messages or calls. The disappointment grew with each passing moment, and you couldn't shake the feeling of being stood up on a day meant for celebration.

The waiter approached with a sympathetic smile. "Is everything alright, miss? Would you like to order or perhaps wait a bit longer?"

You sighed, your faint smile masking your disappointment. "I'll give it a bit more time, thank you."

The restaurant's vibrant ambiance became a backdrop to the quiet anguish within as you waited. Your mind raced with questions: was there an emergency? Has he forgotten? You tried calling Joel, but his phone went directly to voicemail.

The minutes felt like hours, and the celebration, which was supposed to be full of joy and shared memories, became a lonely wait at a table set for two.

You eventually opted to leave, with the burden of disappointment weighing heavily on your shoulders. As you paid for the untouched dinner, the server showed real concern, giving gentle words of comfort.

The city lights seemed to blend as you stepped out into the night, through a mix of crystal tears and unresolved questions.

You paused at the door when you arrived home, unsure of what to expect.

You looked at your phone, expecting a message or call with an explanation. Nothing. When you entered the house, the lights were still turned off, so you walked to your shared bedroom, but Joel was not there. You took off your clothing, grabbed your pajamas, and walked to the bathroom to remove your make-up and go to bed. Just as you were finishing, the sound of a close downstairs interrupted your thoughts.

Joel entered the bedroom and smiled at you, visibly drunk.

The air in the room shifted with relief, guilt, and possibly a hint of defiance from your side as he took in your gaze. Joel stumbled slightly as he approached you.

"Love” he slurred; his words not entirely coherent. "I'm sorry. Lost track of time”

Your disappointment transformed into hurt and frustration, and a growing concern for the person before you. The scent of alcohol clung to him, and the Joel you had known, thoughtful and present, seemed distant.

"Why didn't you call?" you gently asked, yet your voice was cold as ice.

He attempted a nonchalant shrug, but it was unsteady. "Phone died. It's just a celebration, Bee. We can have another one."

As you looked at him, all the beautiful moments of the past year felt overshadowed by this moment.

You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Just a celebration?” you asked, clearly hurt. “You understand that we hated each other's guts for years and now we’re together, even living together.”

“Those artists want to display their work on my galley, Bee. I wanted to celebrate because it is important to me.”

“And I’m not?” you asked, feeling small. “Am I not important to you?”

Joel's unsteady behavior appeared to grow worse as your questions hung in the air. Your words sunk into the silence, generating a noticeable tension.

"No, Bee, that's not what I meant," he mumbled "Of course, you're important. It's only... This offer surprised me, and I got carried away. "I made a mistake."

Your heart ached at the disparity between your expectations and the reality of the situation. The celebration you had envisioned, a symbol of your shared journey, now lay in fragments.

"But why didn't you communicate?" you pressed; your voice filled with hurt. "A simple call, a message. I was waiting, Joel. I was excited about tonight."

He ran a hand through his hair, a gesture that usually conveyed frustration, but now it seemed tinged with remorse. "I know, Bee. I messed up big time. I'm sorry."

The distance between your expectations and the reality of the situation crushed your heart.

"But why didn't you tell me?" you pressed, your voice tense. "A simple phone call, a message. Joel, I was waiting for you. I was looking forward to tonight."

He ran his fingers through his hair, a usually impatient behavior that now appeared tinged with guilt. "I understand, Bee. I made a huge mistake. I apologize."

You didn’t say a word. He knew it was better to have you shouting at him than giving him this cold silence. If he had only told you about it before acting so careless about your feelings. If only he weren’t the person who always messed up with your heart.

“Where are you going?” he asked, as you grabbed your pillow.

You turned to face Joel; pain still fresh in your eyes. "I don’t want to sleep next to you tonight.”

“Can we talk in the morning?” He quietly asked.

The weight of unspoken words and not resolved emotions weighed heavily on the silence that followed. You shut the guest room door behind you, leaving Joel alone in the quiet bedroom.

When he woke up the next morning, the first thing he noticed was the absence of your warmth next to him, and his heart hurt because of how thoughtless he had been the night before. His head was killing him, and when he eventually opened his eyes, he found a glass of water and a pill next to him, along with a message:

"Take them, so your stupid head doesn't hurt anymore."

He grinned, knowing that even when you were upset with him, you still found a way to take care of him.

After some time, he was freshened up and dressed. He made his way downstairs, finding Sarah pouring a glass of orange juice,

“Good morning Dad,” she said.

“Morning baby girl”, he kissed her temple. “Where’s Bee?”

“She left earlier. She left breakfast done for us though, especially for you” she said, signaling at the pancakes and orange juice on the table.

“What did she say?”

She grabbed the piece of paper with the note you had left for Joel about his breakfast.

Sarah handed the note to Joel, and he read your words:

“Breakfast is ready for you, even if you're a big dummy sometimes. Make sure to eat. We can talk later.

-Bee"

Joel sighed, realizing the gravity of his actions. The note reflected a mix of care and disappointment, a sentiment he knew he had to address.

"Thanks, Sarah," he said, genuinely grateful for the effort you had made even when upset. "I'll talk to Bee later."

“So, what did you do?” she asked,

Joel hesitated for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I made a mistake, Sarah. I let something else take priority over what really matters. It wasn't fair to Bee.”

Sarah's expression was a mix of interest and concern. "Is Bee mad at you?"

Joel gave a sad nod. "She is, indeed. She has every right to be so. "I ruined our celebration and hurt her feelings."

Sarah crossed her arms, thinking about her father's behavior. "What are you going to do about it?"

Joel groaned, with an enthusiastic look in his eyes. "I'm going to apologize and make amends." I care deeply about Bee, and I don't want to mess things up."

Sarah smiled encouragingly at him. "Have you noticed she seems more sensitive these days?"

Joel rubbed his brow as he considered Sarah's observation. "Do you think so?" "Why did you say that?"

Sarah shook her head. "I'm not sure, just an observation. Perhaps it's because you and she are becoming more serious, and she is becoming more invested in everything."

Joel nodded "You could be right. That is something I need to be more aware of. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, kid."

"Oh," she remembered, "she was throwing up in the morning, maybe she is sick?"

Sarah let out a sigh. "I'm not sure, Dad. Maybe she didn't want to bother you after last night."

Joel's expression was a mix of concern and sadness. "I messed up big time."

Sarah stroked his shoulder. "Go talk to her, Dad." Make everything right. And perhaps you could bring her some soup or something. Isn't that what you do when someone is sick?

Joel laughed. "Right. Thank you so much, darling. "I'll take care of it." With renewed enthusiasm, he set out to find you and talk.

Sarah continued, encouraged by her father's acknowledgment, "Just make sure she knows you're sorry and that you care about her." You can't afford to make a mistake here, Dad."

Joel chuckled at his daughter's insight. "You are completely correct. I'll do all in my power to set things right." He then excused himself to find you and deal with the mess he had made.

Joel returned Sarah's smile, acknowledging her perspective. "I am, kid. More than I ever imagined I could be."

Once he arrived at the gallery, he got out of the car. The first thing he did was look at your flower shop. And there were you, outside, laughing at something an old lady was telling you while you were serving her some tea at one of the tables you had outside of the flower shop.

As you were there, he couldn’t help but think how lucky he was you that loved him. You were effortless, beautiful and a kind soul he sometimes thought he didn’t deserve.

Joel took a moment to observe you from a distance, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched the interaction between you and the old lady. He felt a mixture of warmth and gratitude, knowing that you were a significant part of his life.

He approached the flower shop, gathering his bravery. You looked up from serving tea as he cleared his throat, your gaze catching his.

You smiled politely, but your eyes were a little unsure.

"Who is this handsome man?" the old lady asked, seeing you two connect.

Joel laughed, enjoying the playful interruption. "My name is Joel. I'm her boyfriend," he said, hoping his introduction wasn't too bold.

The elderly lady's eyes twinkled with delight. "Well, Joel, aren't you a lucky man? This lady has a golden heart."

The compliment made you blush, and you were happy for the distraction. "Oh, Mary, please stop. This is Mary, a regular customer and close friend."

Joel returned his gorgeous smile as he offered a hand to Mary. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mary." Bee frequently mentions you."

Mary placed his hand in hers, shaking it firmly. "Oh, she does? So, young man, you'd better take good care of her."

Joel nodded; his gaze fixed on yours. "I plan to."

Joel returned his attention to you as Mary excused herself. "Can we talk, Bee?"

You appeared conflicted for a moment, then you relented and guided him into the shop.

The aroma of fresh flowers enveloped both of you once you entered. Although the tone was light, there remained an undercurrent of unresolved anxiety. You stepped behind the counter, raising an eyebrow at Joel.

"What kind of flowers are we looking for today, sir?" you asked politely.

Joel grinned, appreciating your willingness to play along. "I'm thinking about something bright that says 'I'm sorry for being an idiot'?"

You chuckled, grabbing a mix of vibrant blooms. "Ah, the classic apology bouquet. Popular choice."

Joel leaned on the counter, watching you work. "So, Bee, about last night..."

You interrupted, holding up a finger. "Let me finish this one, and then we can talk. You're not off the hook just yet."

He nodded, a playful glint in his eyes. "I'm at your mercy, flower queen.”

Once the bouquet was ready, you handed it to Joel. "There you go, the 'I'm Sorry' special. Now, talk."

Joel took the bouquet, his eyes softening. "I messed up, Bee. I should have prioritized you over the gallery celebration. I'm truly sorry."

You sighed, leaning against the counter. “It’s not about that. You could have told me, but instead you treated our anniversary as nothing important to you.”

Joel's expression turned more earnest as he listened to your words. "Bee, you're right. I should have communicated better. I didn't mean to make you feel unimportant. Our anniversary means everything to me."

You looked at him, the frustration giving way to a softer understanding. "I just want us to be on the same page, Joel. We're in this together."

He nodded, his eyes shining with sincerity. "I understand, and I apologize for my error." I promise I'll make it up to you."

You cracked a little smile at him. "Actions, Joel, speak louder than words. Remember? I know that living together is something different now, and maybe you felt a little stifled by my presence at –

"Don't you ever say that again," he interjected seriously. The increased passion in Joel's voice surprised you. His eyes pierced into yours. "I don't feel suffocated, Bee. Not even for a second. It's what I want to have you here, sharing our lives. It's something I've always wanted."

His sincerity resonated, and you felt a warmth spreading in your chest. You nodded, the unspoken understanding settling between you two. "Okay, Joel. I believe you."

He reached for your hand; his grip gentle yet reassuring. "I love you, Bee. And I don't want you to ever doubt that."

A soft smile played on your lips.

“Come here” he said.

You walked around the counter to be close to him and allowed him to put his arms around your middle, you kissed his neck.

“Sarah told me you threw up this morning, are you sick?” he questioned, worried.

You sighed, feeling the warmth of Joel's embrace. "I think it's just a stomach bug or something. It happens."

He tightened his grip on you, concern evident in his voice. "Have you seen a doctor?"

"Not yet," you admitted, "but I'll schedule an appointment if it persists."

Joel's fingers traced comforting circles on your back. "Take care of yourself, Bee. I hate seeing you unwell."

You chuckled; the vibration felt against his chest. "I'm a tough. A little bug won't bring me down."

He kissed the top of your head. "Still, let me know if you need anything. And about last night..."

You looked up at him, and he continued, "I'll make it up to you, Bee. I promise."

You nodded, feeling grateful for his understanding. "I know you will, Joel."

A few days later, Joel kept true to his promise. He had planned a surprise meal for you at a nice restaurant, and he led you inside with a slight smile on his lips. The atmosphere was cozy, with soft lighting and a bouquet of your favorite flowers on the table.

As you settled into your seats, Joel took a moment to gaze at you, admiration evident in his eyes. "I've been thinking a lot about us," he began, sincerity lacing his words. "I know I messed up our celebration, and I want to make it up to you."

"It's okay," you murmured as you took his hands in yours as you smiled at him.

Joel had chosen a dimly lit restaurant for your date, with a pleasant setting that set the tone for a romantic evening. You and Joel shared a lovely supper while telling stories and laughing. You couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and connection as the night proceeded.

Joel made every effort to remain attentive throughout the meal, engaging in significant conversations and making you feel appreciated. You felt a wave of nausea as dessert arrived. Excusing yourself, you dashed to the restroom, hoping to alleviate the bad feeling.

While you were gone, Joel recognized one of the artists he had celebrated with the night before. She was seated at the bar when she noticed Joel and decided to start a conversation.

The artist, an attractive and confident woman, started to flirt with Joel. He tried to keep the talk light and professional, but the girl appeared determined to inject a little humor into their conversation. You came from the restroom just in time to see their conversation, unnoticed by Joel.

As you approached, you noticed the exchange between Joel and the artist. Your brows furrowed, and a tinge of jealousy crept into your heart.

“Excuse me” you interrupted as the woman caressed Joel’s arm, “What’s happening here?”

Joel turned, a slightly surprised expression on his face as he saw you standing there. The artist, still oblivious to Joel's relationship status, greeted you with a friendly smile.

"Oh, hi there! she said, extending a hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize Joel was here with someone."

You shook her hand, trying to maintain composure. "Hi. Who are you?"

"I'm Michelle, one of the artists from the gallery," she replied. "Joel and I were just chatting about some upcoming exhibitions.” She smiled at you through her teeth, not happy about the interruption. “Who are you?”

You glanced at Joel, who seemed to sense the tension. “His girlfriend” you said, simply.

The woman seemed speechless for a moment. “I didn’t know he had a girlfriend” she said.

“Well, you know now.”

“How long have you both been dating?” she asked, mostly to Joel.

“A year” he said, proudly, smiling at you.

“It’s not a long time” she said.

You raised an eyebrow, unamused by her comment.

"It's long enough for us." Joel said.

“And- “

“Oh my god, if you have so many questions why don’t you sit with Joel and talk” you spoke “I’m going home” you said, already walking out of the restaurant.

Joel hastily followed you out of the restaurant, catching up with you just as you reached the sidewalk. He grabbed your arm gently, turning you to face him.

"Bee, wait. I'm sorry about that. I had no idea she'd do that."

You sighed, looking into his sincere eyes. "I know you didn't invite that. It's just frustrating sometimes."

"I get it," Joel said, running a hand through his hair. "But you didn’t have to act like a child, bee. She is a really prestigious and important artist for the gallery”, he added, acting angrily.

You felt a twinge of frustration at Joel's comment. "I'm not acting like a child, Joel. I just didn't expect to see you being flirted with so blatantly, especially on our anniversary celebration. It caught me off guard."

"Let's just go home and forget about this, okay?"

“No” he said, grabbing you from your wrist, taking you off guard. “You have been overreacting lately, what’s happening to you?”

You winced at his sudden grip on your wrist, the unexpected force surprising you. Joel's frustration was evident, and you could feel the tension building.

"I'm not overreacting," you said, your voice steady but trembling with your own frustration. "I just didn't like seeing you getting flirted like that. Maybe I didn't handle it perfectly, but it bothered me."

Joel released his grip, "Bee, I just want you to trust me. Nothing happened, and I wouldn't let anything happen. You don't need to get defensive."

You took a step back, rubbing your arm where he had held you. "I trust you, Joel. It's not about that. It's just... I don't know. Maybe I'm more sensitive lately."

“Why?” he continued.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, okay?” you sobbed, ashamed of yourself. “Can we just go home?”

Joel nodded, realizing that pressing the issue any further might not be the best decision. He unlocked the car door for you, and you both climbed inside for the ride home. The mood inside the car was tense, due to a mix of unresolved stress and an equal need to move on from recent events.

However, during the drive, you started feeling a bit dizzy. The events of the evening, the unexpected encounter, and the rush of emotions seemed to take a toll on you. You leaned back in the seat, closing your eyes to quell the uneasiness.

Joel noticed your discomfort and became concerned. "Bee, are you okay? You seem a bit off."

You took a deep breath, trying to shake off the dizziness. "I think it's just everything catching up with me. I'll be fine."

But as the car continued its journey home, the dizziness persisted, and you couldn't shake the feeling that something more than just the events of the evening was affecting you.

Joel's worry deepened, and he reached over to gently place a hand on your shoulder. "Maybe we should stop by the hospital, just to be sure."

You shook your head, attempting to muster a reassuring smile. "It's probably just fatigue. I'll rest when we get home."

However, Joel wasn't convinced. As you pulled into the driveway, he helped you out of the car, supporting you as you walked into the house. The uneasiness lingered, prompting Joel to insist on seeking medical advice.

"Let's at least call a doctor, Bee," he suggested, his concern etched across his face. "I want to make sure you're okay."

“I’ll go tomorrow,” you said.

Joel nodded hesitantly, knowing your hesitation. He led you to the couch and urged you to rest while he went to get a drink of water. The room appeared to spin as you sat there, and the unease in your gut continued.

When Joel returned, he handed you the water with concern in his eyes. "I know you're tough, but this isn't normal, Bee." Please have you checked out by a doctor tonight."

You took a sip of water while you pondered his statements. The dizziness and discomfort were fading away.

"I told you I'll go tomorrow. I'm better," you said with a faint smile.

"Okay"

After a few hours, in the middle of the night, Joel woke up to your absence beside him in bed. Instant worry creeped up in his body. Where would you be at this time of the night? He made his way downstairs, finding the little dim light of the kitchen on with no sign of you.

Joel's worried expression transformed into a mixture of relief and amusement as he saw you on the kitchen floor, eating ice-cream.

"Love, what are you doing down here?" he asked, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Caught in the act, you looked up at him, your eyes wide with surprise. A moment of silence passed before you burst into laughter, the sound echoing through the quiet kitchen.

"I couldn't sleep, and I was craving something sweet," you explained between giggles.

Joel chuckled, joining you on the floor. "In the middle of the night? You're a true midnight snacker, aren't you?"

You nodded, still laughing. "Guilty as charged." You smiled at him again. “I didn’t get to finish my dessert at the restaurant.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. "You never cease to surprise me, my love."

With a playful grin, you held up the ice cream container. "Want to join me?"

Joel shook his head, feigning seriousness. "I'll pass. It's past my bedtime, you know."

“Are you going back to bed?”

Joel nodded, his playful smile lingering. "Yeah, I should. But if you're going to stay up, I might make an exception."

You laughed, shaking your head. "No, go back to sleep. I'll join you in a bit."

He pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead. "Alright, but don't stay up too late. I'll be waiting for you."

As Joel headed back to bed, you enjoyed the solitude of the quiet kitchen, savoring the ice cream. You didn’t know why you have been craving sweet snacks so much lately.

After a while, you decided to join Joel in bed, carrying the warmth of the content feeling you had after enjoying the midnight snack. The soft glow of the moonlight seeped through the curtains as you quietly entered the bedroom, finding Joel peacefully asleep.

Slipping under the covers, you cuddled up beside him, savoring the warmth and familiarity of his presence. As you closed your eyes, you fell asleep into the peaceful dream you have had in a long time.

In the following days, your unease persisted, prompting you to make an appointment with the doctor, as Joel had suggested. The clinic was calm, with the soft hum of medical equipment in the background. The scent of antiseptic filled the air, making you a bit more uncomfortable.

Joel accompanied you to the doctor, his hand reassuringly holding yours throughout the process. As you anxiously waited for the results, your mind raced with thoughts about what might be causing your recent discomfort. The doctor, a friendly and reassuring figure, led you through the examination.

Finally, the doctor returned, a warm smile on their face “Congratulations, you’re pregnant.”

The news hung in the air, filling the room with a mix of shock and thrill. Tears flooded into your eyes as you realized the new life growing inside you, triggering an eruption of the mix of emotions.

As you left the clinic, a myriad of thoughts and emotions swirled within you. You decided not to immediately share the news with Joel, you were scared all over again.

You had recently passed your first year of a relationship and you were both adjusting to your life living together. You felt anxious as you walked through the hallway of the hospital

the weight of the revelation settling in your mind. The hallway seemed longer than usual, and the white walls closed in on you, echoing your internal turmoil.

Joel, sensing your unease, gently placed a hand on the small of your back as you walked together. "Are you okay, Bee? How was it?”

You forced a smile, though your eyes betrayed some tears. "Yeah, just a lot on my mind. Let's talk about it later."

“Are you sure?” He stopped in his tracks to face you. “Love, don’t scare me”

You faked the best of your smiles and nodded “I’m sure. Just a stomach bug. Let’s go” you said, walking ahead.

What if he didn’t want to have a baby with you?

Later that evening, as the three of you settled on the couch to watch a movie, the atmosphere was relaxed. Sarah, snuggled between you and Joel, seemed in high spirits.

"This is always fun, guys," she exclaimed, eyes flickering between the screen and both of you.

You and Joel shared a smile, enjoying the simplicity of your movie’s nights together. However, the air started to suffocate you. The characters on the screen welcomed a new baby, forcing Sarah to speak up.

"Hey, Dad," she began innocently, "wouldn't it be cool if Bee had a baby? I'd love a little sister."

You exchanged a glance with Joel, the topic catching you off guard. Joel's expression shifted, his features revealing a mix of surprise and hesitation. You sensed a sudden tension in the air.

"Uh, well, Sarah," Joel started carefully, "I think we're good as we are. Being a father again... it's not something I'm looking for."

Sarah's brow furrowed, processing Joel's response. "But you'd be such a great dad, and I'd be an awesome big sister!"

You placed a hand on Joel's arm, offering silent support. "It's okay, Sarah. Not everyone wants the same things in life, and that's perfectly fine."

Joel's comments had a heavy weight on your chest. Your thoughts raced as Sarah began to explain her naïve hopes for a new addition to the family. You weren't expecting this topic to come up tonight, and Joel's reaction left you crying with the silent secret growing within you.

The movie was playing on the screen, but your attention was wandering. You felt a rush of emotions, including disappointment, worry, and an increasing feeling of guilt for not telling Joel about the baby. The conversation had taken an unexpected turn, and you could feel the weight of the unspoken truth suffocating you.

Joel noticed the change in the mood. He looked at you with concern on his face. You had a decision at that point: tell the truth and or continue to bear the weight of the secret.

Once you were snug as a bug in bed, Joel was finishing putting on his t-shirt to join you in bed. The weight of the previous conversation was still pressing your heart.

“Would it be so bad, tough?” You asked, breaking the silence without glancing at Joel.

“What?”

“Having a baby with me” you said.

Joel paused, the significance of your words sinking in. He sat down on the edge of the bed, facing you. "Bee, it's not about whether it would be bad or not. It's just unexpected, and I didn't know you were thinking about that”

You two fell into a tense silence, the weight of the unspoken lingering in the air. You met Joel's eyes, searching for any sign of his feelings.

"I should have told you earlier," you admitted, your voice carrying a tinge of shame "I wanted to be sure before bringing it up."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's a big decision, Bee. We need to talk about it, consider everything."

Joel looked into your eyes, his expression earnest. "Bee, you're my future. I love you, and I want to build a life with you. But having a baby is a big step. We need to be sure we're ready for it."

There were no more words after that, so you chose to pretend you fell asleep feeling the weight of your thoughts; the words he had told and the secret in your belly settled in the middle of your two bodies. For the first time since you moved with him, he didn’t place his arm around your waist.

The next day wasn’t any easier. You woke up feeling nauseous, as your body had started signaling the beginning of changes. The morning light streamed through the curtains, casting a gentle glow on the room. Joel was already up, preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

As you walked into the kitchen, the aroma of eggs filled the air. Joel turned to greet you, but his expression was a mix of concern and uncertainty.

"Morning," you said, attempting a smile.

"Morning," Joel replied, setting a plate of pancakes on the table. "How are you feeling?"

“Good” you replied shortly, “I think I’m heading out earlier to the shop” you said, trying to escape from the uncomfortable conversation you were avoiding.

Joel nodded, his eyes lingering on you. "Alright, but we can't keep avoiding this. We need to talk about what's happening."

You sighed, knowing he was right but not ready to dive into that discussion just yet. "I know, Joel."

You said before heading out to the shop, you tried to focus on your daily tasks, but the undercurrent of tension followed you. The shop's familiar surroundings felt different, as if the walls themselves were aware of the unspoken secret.

And the smell of flowers was making you vomit, but you had to keep this hidden for a little bit longer.

Your thoughts kept returning to Joel and the talk you both needed to have while you arranged flowers and assisted clients, but because you were concealed in your shop, the chiming of the door distracted you from your own demons.

“I’m coming” you said, faking a happy tone. Just as you appeared in sight, you went frozen.

“This place looks as nice as I remember.”

"Connell?!" you exclaimed; your surprise evident.

"In person" Connell replied with a gorgeous grin.

The doorbell chimed again, and a customer entered, giving you a moment to compose yourself. You exchanged pleasantries with the customer, all the while glancing at Connell.

Once the customer left, Connell took a step closer. "Surprised to see me?"

"More than surprised," you admitted, a mix of emotions bubbling inside you. "What brings you here?"

Connell's gaze travelled around the shop. "Just passing through town and thought I'd drop by. It's been a while." He smiled.

“I thought you hated me” you spoke.

Connell's smile faded, and he looked at you with sincerity. "Oh my God, I could never hate you. You just followed your heart but I never hated you.” A smirk creeped on his lips “Besides, I met someone, you know?”

You felt happiness at his revelation. "Really?" you exclaimed "I'm glad. Lucky person" you replied genuinely. "I hope you're happy."

Connell nodded. "Yeah, she's great. We met at the hospital, and things just clicked. Life has a funny way of working out sometimes."

Connell leaned against the counter. "So, how's life treating you? And Joel?"

A part of you hesitated, unsure of how much to share. "Life's... complicated. Joel and I are okay, I guess."

Connell raised an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise?"

You sighed, choosing your words carefully. "It's not that simple. We're just figuring things out, you know?"

Connell nodded, a knowing look in his eyes. "Relationships are never easy. If you ever need to talk, I'm one video call away" he said.

He genuinely cared for you. He had always had, and even now, when you weren't connected in a romantic way anymore, you were still a friend he was always going to protect.

"Thanks, Connell. I appreciate that," you said, genuinely grateful for his support.

“But you look gorgeous. You’re glowing” he said, happily taking your form. “It’s like you-

Your smile faded a little at that.

“Are you…?” He asked.

You took a deep breath, hesitating for a moment before responding. "Yes, Connell, I am."

Connell's eyes widened in surprise, and he took a step back. "Wow! Well, that's... unexpected."

"Yeah, it is," you admitted, a mix of emotions coursing through you. "I found out yesterday, and I haven't told Joel about it yet."

Connell's expression shifted to one of concern. "Joel doesn't know?"

You shook your head. "Not yet. It's complicated, Connell. I-He said he doesn't know if he wants to be a father again." You felt a lump in your throat, and you started crying without a reason. Connell hug you tightly immediately, without hesitation.

As you cried on his shoulder, the door chimed.

“What’s going on here?” Joel’s voice broke at that moment. He wasn’t happy about the scene unfolding before his eyes.

“Is this why you had been acting so weird?”

Joel's eyes narrowed as he took in the scene. Connell released you from the hug, and you wiped away your tears hastily, a knot forming in your stomach.

"Joel," you stammered, "it's not what it looks like."

Connell stepped back, giving you space to explain. Joel's gaze shifted between you and Connell,with confusion and concern on his face.

"What's happening, Bee?" Joel asked, his tone demanding an explanation.

You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. "Connell came to visit me, we were just catching up, and, well, emotions got the best of me."

Joel's expression remained stern, and he crossed his arms. "Catching up, huh?"

Connell, sensing the tension, spoke up. "Joel, I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I was just passing through and thought I'd say hi."

Joel's gaze didn't waver. "I think it's time for you to leave."

Connell nodded, shooting you a sympathetic look before heading toward the door. "Take care, Bee. I'll be around if you need to talk."

"Don't be an ass to her, you promised me that, remember" he warned, before stepping out.

As Connell left, the atmosphere in the room remained tense. Joel turned his attention back to you, waiting for an explanation.

You took a deep breath, meeting Joel's gaze with a mix of vulnerability and determination. "Joel, I didn't plan for Connell to show up like this. We were just talking. I didn't mean for it to become emotional."

Joel's expression remained stern, his arms still crossed. "Emotional? What kind of emotions are we talking about here?"

You hesitated, searching for the right words. "Connell noticed something, something I wasn't ready to share yet."

Joel's eyebrows furrowed. "Share? Bee, what are you talking about?"

You glanced away, a knot forming in your stomach “If I tell you I may lose you.”

“You’re losing me now, bee.” he warned.

But you didn’t say anything, you were afraid.

“Then fuck you, Bee.”

Joel turned and left the room, leaving you standing there with a sinking feeling in your chest. The once warm and hopeful atmosphere had turned cold and uncertain, and the road ahead seemed daunting.

Later that evening, you arrived home to find Sarah and Joel sitting at the dinner table. The atmosphere in the room was tense, and Joel's eyes held hurt and frustration. You took a deep breath, knowing the conversation couldn't be delayed any longer.

"Hey," you greeted, your voice carrying a hint of apprehension.

"Hey," Joel replied, his tone not better than yours.

Sarah glanced between the two of you, sensing the tension. "Is everything okay?"

You hesitated for a moment before responding. "Joel, we need to talk."

He nodded; his expression guarded. "Yeah, we do."

"I'm not staying tonight," you informed them. "I need some time away from you, and I'll be at Lily's."

Sarah's eyes widened, and she looked from you to Joel. "What's going on?"

You shot Joel a quick glance before turning back to Sarah. "It's just something we need to figure out, Baby girl. Don't worry"

Without waiting for a response, you headed upstairs to pack a bag for the night. The weight of the situation pressed on you as you grabbed a few essentials, unsure of what was going to happen tomorrow.

Joel followed you upstairs, the tension in the air palpable. As you started packing a bag, he stood in the doorway, unsure of how to approach the conversation. The atmosphere in the room felt heavy with unspoken words.

"Love, please," Joel finally spoke, his voice filled with a mix of frustration and concern. "You don't have to go."

You continued packing, avoiding eye contact. "Joel, I need some space to think. I can't stay here tonight."

He stepped further into the room, his gaze pleading. "I'm sorry for how I reacted. I shouldn't have said those things."

You sighed, pausing your packing but not turning to face him. "Joel, this is bigger than just tonight. We need to figure out what we both want and if we're on the same page."

He took a step closer, his hand gently resting on your shoulder. "Bee, I love you. I don't want you to go, especially not like this."

You met his eyes, seeing the sincerity in them. The conflict within you intensified, torn between the emotions inside you.

"I need time, Joel," you whispered, your voice shaky. "I need to understand why you don’t want the same things for us."

Joel's features softened, and he removed his hand, allowing you the space you needed. The room was filled with an uneasy silence as you zipped up your bag, your mind racing with thoughts and emotions.

"I messed up," Joel admitted, his voice carrying regret. "I love you, Bee. I don't want to lose you."

You closed your eyes, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. "You won't lose me" you clarified.

As you made your way to the door, the heaviness of your decision bore down on you. In your hurry, you stumbled, almost losing your balance. The bags in your hands threatened to spill, but just in the nick of time, Joel's strong arms caught you. His reflexes kicked in, and he steadied you, a mixture of concern and confusion in his eyes.

"Bee, be careful," he urged, his hands still on your arms. The warmth of his touch, even in this moment of tension, sent a shiver through you.

You winced, feeling the impact of the close call. The realization of your vulnerability sank in, and you instinctively placed a protective hand over your belly. Joel's eyes widened as he followed the movement.

Concern etched across his face; he gently placed a hand on your stomach. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

Your eyes met his, and in that shared gaze, Joel sensed something deeper. A silent understanding passed between you, and he connected the dots. It was like all his life passed in front of his eyes.

With a soft gasp, Joel whispered, "Are you...?"

You didn’t respond, instead you hold his hand placed over your stomach and gripped tightly as if this was the decisive moment in the course of your relationship.

but still, his features on his face were unreadable. You knew what those moments meant between you. The words say but nothing back in return. It was like all that night all over again and you couldn't bear silence once again. You weren't alone this time. Unable to endure the quiet any longer, you broke it with a whispered, "Joel." Your voice carried a mix of vulnerability and hope, seeking connection and understanding.

At that moment, Joel let go of you carefully, creating a bit of space between you two. His eyes continued to hold a mixture of awe and realization, and it was clear that the weight of the revelation was sinking inside him.

What he had to say was going to define the rest of your story.

a/n: Reader loves self-sabotaging.

tags 💌: @joeldjarin @borhapparker @fatima-marisa @kirsteng42 @paleidiot @harriedandharassed @runningmom94 @pedr0swh0r3 @ssacharcoalgrey @missladym1981 @littleshadow17 @sevillagrenada

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marsprincess889 · 7 months

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Purva Ashadha and Shravana (monkey yonis)

As a famous movie couple.

Purva Ashadha is the last venus ruled nakshatra, meaning "the previous invincible one", its symbol is a winnowing basket, separating all things worthy from the unworthy. Its ruling deities are Apas, water creatures, and this nakshatra is strongly connected to waters and the seas. It's about gaining alliances to secure your victory.

Shravana is the last moon ruled nakshatra, meaning "hearing", its symbols are the ear and three footprints. Ruling deity is Vishnu- Hindu preserver god and consort of Lakshmi(associated with Purva Ashadha and Rohini). Its about connecting everything together.

Now, let me introduce you to the couple.

Aragon and Arwen

from The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Liv Tyler (Purva Ashadha moon)

Viggo Mortensen (Shravana moon)

When the first movie begins Aragorn is a simple, lonely ranger, but always dedicated to doing what he thinks is right. He definitely has the makings of a king, he's also descended from Isildur, being the true heir to the throne. Despite his lineage, he's living like an average lowly man, an outcaste, wondering on on his own. Shravana is connected to wandering and also being one of men and that being the trait that makes the king. Shravana is "the savior" or "the preserver" of mankind, and that also obviously applies to Aragorn. Shravana being mleccha (outcast) caste also ties with him living like a lowlife and being apart from society.

Arwen, on the other hand, is busy rebelling against her father and choosing a mortal life due to her love for Aragorn. She's a noble elf maiden (Purva Ashadha is in the Brahmin caste- the highest standing caste). Purva Ashadha (like all venus nakshatras) are romantics and always choose to bravely follow their heart. Also a very interesting thing to note is that Arwen is reffered to as "the evenstar" or "the evening star", which is obviously Venus.

When she gifts Aragorn her necklace, he refuses at first, not believing himself worthy, but Arwen insists and says: "It is mine to give to whom I choose, like my heart". That pretty much sums up what this nakshatra is about.

Eventually, Aragorn does become king and Arwen does choose a mortal life, even thought it meant seeing her love age and die before her.

One of my favorite scenes in the whole trilogy is when Arwen is taking Frodo to Rivendell while they're being chased by the Nazgul. She bravely stands up to them and summons the waters to defeat them. Purva Ashadha's power is to invigorate and Arwen using the waters to secure her victory makes a lot of sense.

Purva Ashadha invigorates, Shravana connects and together they become a formidable team.

Everytime I think of Purva Ashadha and Shravana my mind immideately goes to these two. The setting, the etheral aesthetic and the otherworldliness makes me think of their yoni- Vaanar also meaning "human-like creature" or "a human-like being from other dimentions" in Sanskrit. They were said to live in forests and that's where Arwen went and lived before she passed, overcome by the grief of being separated from her love. But their story remains in the minds and hearts of people, and their love, courage, devotion and loyalty is remembered forever.

If you're Purva Ashadha or Shravana, or if you love lotr/arwen and aragorn, let me know what you think. Please, interact with me in any way. Love you, take care 🤍

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ot3 · 8 months

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can i please hear your thoughts about franema. blease. i know they have something going on between them

oh yes yes.... franema happy to talk about it. for starters just everything about how ema behaves herself in aa4 makes me believe that would be some excellent yuri because bitch4bitch femslash is always so important.

in general though i think they're two people whose lives are very centered around their work (as much of the main ace attorney cast is) but they center their work extremely differently in a way i think would cause the other person to question a lot about their own perspective. I think a situation where two characters can really ruffle each others feathers just by existing in proximity has a lot of good ship fodder.

i think in many ways franziska is what ema wanted to be. she's a child prodigy, competent and excelling in her field and earning respect from a very young age. meanwhile when she's several years older than fran was passing the bar ema is still just a high school student just dipping her nose into forensic science for the first time. by the time she's in her mid 20s ema still isn't at the level of career success fran reached in her teen years, being stuck as a detective after failures to pass the forensics exams. and i think it's really worth paying attention to the fact that Detective was specifically the job that lead to her sister's life turning to shit, so i think the longer and longer she stays trapped in that position the more she's gonna start feeling like the walls of her life are closing in on her. i know we don't know where fran is at career wise during this point in the timeline but my personal headcanon is that she ends up doing a lot of work with interprol and primarily specializing in prosecuting cases that take place across various countries' jurisdictions, and has had good success doing so.

Then on the flipside I think Fran see's ema's fully self-motivated passion for forensics as something enviable and admirable. Fran is i think someone who has spent her entire life running through a treadmill of carrots and sticks that dictated what her life was going to be like since she was born. Obviously prosecuting is the family trade and she was started extremely young, then pitted against someone much older for the majority of her childhood. I think the ebb and flow of validation or disinterest from her peers and family was such an overwhelming motivator that she never had the chance to even consider whether or not there's anything she's passionate about. As an adult, i think she does come to find an honest passion in her career but it's nothing like what ema has, it can't be decoupled from external validation, and that's something she's come to understand as a bit of a weakness.

Then interpersonally i feel like since ema is much more personable and socially adjusted than fran, i could feel that being something she instinctively kind of leverages against fran to try and level their playing field. like, okay, franziska may be this bigshot famous prosecutor (just like edgeworth, who ema wants sooo bad to impress) but ema can find ways to embarrass, frustrate, or otherwise fluster her in social settings so that's totally the same as being intellectual equals right. right. right. (<- thoughts of a girl who is definitely being normal about the situation). but i feel like fran could kind of learn to be grateful for the lack of deference ema treats her with and it could be a real first step to them actually getting to know each other better.

i feel like they'd have a lot of similar opinions on the broader aspects of life. i think they'd both be fine with a more casual relationship that involves a lot of traveling for work and isn't particularly romantic by a lot of people's standards. and i think it would be fun for them to fuck each other. overall it just works imo. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#long post #franema

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minty-drop · 2 months

Note

Hello! Is it okay if you write Shadow Milk Cookie x Faerie Reader (romantically)? Thank you for reading my request and hope you have a good day! <3

Sure thing! This one was a little rushed but I hope that’s alright?

͙͘͡★ Shadow milk cookie x faerie reader

Tw: very slight angst, forbidden romance, mentions of corruption

Type: general romance head-canons, romantically themes, non established relationship

Delicate wings, but a mighty soul is what a faerie was. A soldier of the land of beast yeast, in there quiet and cozy little kingdom.

Though this kingdom held a secret. Where 5 beast were sealed in the large trunk of the silver tree. Every faerie knew of the tale of the 5 beast, the once saviours of beast yeast. knowledge, volition, happiness, change and solitary, turned to sour dough, vile and sinister cookies who crumbled the weak beneath there power for the entertainment of selfishness.

This should have scarred you away from the silver tree. Struck fear in you. It did for a long time. But when the tree split, allowing the darkness of this world to spew out again, you could only feel curious after the encounter. Your questions never answer by the guardian about the event. Questions that you had he could not answer. Questions that banged in your mind like a brick being dropped onto your dough. The knowledge you craved, the guardian could not give your satisfactory. Each time he failed to give you an answer, the more you pondered everything around you to the smallest of details.

And in desperation, you against all of faeries kinda rules and nature, ventured to the tree, in the time when the sun was not longer out, the sky swallowed with a inky black, stars shining bright and the moon high. The illuminating celestial objects bright hues caste down apon the thick tree tops, leaking down onto the soil of the land.

The path was bright into your sight by the light, which was covered in vines until you made it to a large open space, a king, silver path above you. Spreading your silky clear wings, you guided yourself up onto its cold surface.

The tree was absolutely beautiful up close. The trunks stood strong and perched, roots stretching far beneath the soil. Branches twisting and turning in all distractions, branching into even more complex structures. The glow of it was dim but noticeable, how could anyone not want to stare at its beautiful light.

In hesitation, finding it hard to move from your spot in fear of being caught out at this hour. you hurriedly scudded a-crossed the large platform to its wide base.

Feeling the bark under breath your hand, it was cold, much like you expected. The texture was almost as if it was coated in a film of silver like it’s name. Leaning against it, you began to ponder if this really was a good idea to ask of knowledge from one of the most sinister beings to Rome earth bread. Everyone knows the story, how all the beast had turned into there opposites. In which once in particular help the knowledge of 1000.

It took courage to utter any words, but you managed to muster out a shaking and quiet hello to anything, anyone who could be able to answer your questions…silence was the only thing the responded, accompanied by the quiet chips and clicks of bird in the tree tops.

This was pointless, what a stupid idea. Asking a god like cookie for there knowledge, and this being was one of the beasts. We’re they even still alive? Maybe they perished during there time in the tree. Knowledge now turned to deceit, everyone knew that. But..maybe if you offered something. Something valuable, maybe just maybe they would give you something true.

A sly, cocky voice, just barely able to hear admitted from the dense bark.

“Hello dearyyyy” the y drawn out with sickening laughter.

Jumping out of your skin is what you could call the reaction, bolting away from the tree a good 6 seat in fear. Something really responded. One of them really responded to your feeble attempts at communication.

You leaned against the tree again,trying to listen for a sound, anything. But there was nothing. And as childish as it sounded, you knocked a small pattern on the bark….silence yet again….before the same pattern was repeated back to you.

This is how you met the cocky, sly and funny cookie, one who terrorized the old era was now melting at your ‘touch’. The trees bark kept you away from him, but that didn’t stop him from speaking to you.

You knew it was wrong, a faerie and a god. Nothing less a god that had killed thousands, thousands of innocent souls. But you couldn’t stop yourself from fall for him, sneaking away from you home to visit this locked away soul.

He loved you, as close as he could get to loving someone even if he never had show it well. he wanted you. He wanted to corrupt your being so you could truly see how much he cared for you.

#crk x reader #crk #cr kingdom #crk beast yeast #crk spoilers #crk shadow milk cookie #x reader

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vegasandhishedgehog · 1 year

Text

Just a non-comprehensive list of all the things P'Jojo touched on throughout the entirety of The Warp Effect:

The harm of forcing teens to promise absolute abstinence from sex while not providing space for safe and open discussions about it

Some people have a strong sense of their sexuality/gender identity. Others don't

Even guys who seem like good ones can do horrible things and be unaware. They are not required to be forgiven no matter how guilty they feel

Being single by choice is not shameful

Fwb is not shameful either

No one has any right to expect more out of a relationship when you have communicated what you are up for up front

Female friendship is a beautiful, wonderful thing, why would we pit so many bad bitches against each other when they're cooler as friends?

Nonsexual kinks are valid and with the right person can make for a beautiful relationship

There are several methods for pregnancy and it's important to discuss things with your donor (if you've chosen one personally)

Listen to your partner! It is actually possible to be together for a decade and still be unaware of something they like/dislike!

You can be forgiven for being shitty in high school but that is not up to you, it's only up to the person you have wronged

Always know the age of whoever you're talking to so you don't accidentally sleep with a minor

Fatphobia and transphobia have never been cool

Trauma hurts and the journey to work through it is difficult. It's not wrong to want to reconcile with someone and find that you can't. It's not wrong to try to push past it numerous times. It is not your fault someone ruined what should be a good experience for you

Nonsexual intimacy is valid and the right partner will work with you to understand your needs

The choice to have children is a really big one and no it should not be an excuse to keep the relationship together. The choice not to doesn't always have to break it up either

Abortion is a personal matter and should be done safely and legally

STDs have all sorts of origins and are an important matter to address in terms of being polyamorous or even going from one partner to the next. They are also not a reason to feel shame and are simply a matter of getting proper treatment and abstaining from sex while healing. Straight couples can get them, it isn't just a gay stereotype

Anyone can have a romantic relationship and not have sex

Parenting from afar isn't being responsible, but it is still possible to create a relationship with your estranged child

Dick size is nothing to be concerned about - you can find someone who enjoys a sexual relationship with you no matter what

It is so important to see your doctor. If that doctor makes you uncomfortable, though, you should be fine to leave and go somewhere else

Gay does not mean pedophile and it's important for you and your children to know the difference because there are gay teachers and coaches who have enough on their shoulders

Cheating doesn't have to include anything physical if you're seeking pleasure from someone who is not your partner and have not discussed such things with your partner or the person you cheat with

Sex work should not be criminalized and more of us need to standing up for the rights of sex workers

Masturbation is normal and doesn't have to be treated as sad or pathetic

Cishet people can be amazing allies. You can have your group of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and trans people with a bunch of them included and it can be a fabulous group

Casting agents that don't allow for body and gender diversity don't deserve their job

The show gave us a whole PSA on pelvic exams????? HELP??????

ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX NO MATTER WHAT YOUR AGE, ORIENTATION, OR IDENTITY IS - ALWAYS HAVE A PROPER DISCUSSION AND STICK TO WHAT EVERYONE CONSENTS TO. ALWAYS

I swear I'm still missing stuff but everything that The Warp Effect said is so special to me

#the warp effect #thai shows #gmmtv #p'jojo

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yanderes-galore · 2 months

Text

I have brainrot and must get out another HOTD fic. NOT PROOFREAD, I WAS COOKING WITH THIS. THIS IS AN ADULT AEGON II FIC, WHICH MEANS IT MENTIONS PLOT POINTS FROM THE BOOKS.

Spoilers For HOTD and Fire & Blood

A short story based on this idea I had.

Baptism By Fire

Yandere! Aegon II Targaryen Short

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Mentions of intimacy, General Mature Content Warning (This is HOTD/F&B so-) Obsession, Murder, Violence, Possessive behavior, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Adultery, Consensual turned Forced relationship.

Aegon never liked his older half-sister. In his eyes Rhaenyra was a usurper to the throne. In his younger years he never liked the thought of being king... but now, as an older man, he has grown into such a role.

Since he was a young boy, Aegon had always had his fill of pleasures. However, he did have one true love... which was surprisingly not his wife, Helaena. A maid that served his elder half-sister, you....

You were Rhaenyra's personal handmaid. You were around his age, a maid who came from a family of servants. Originally you were just another target of his unusually insatiable libido.

However, Aegon felt he could cast aside his responsibilities with you. In you he found companionship he wasn't expecting. It wasn't just when he had you in his chambers... it was whenever you were around.

Your "relationship" was kept secret from both his mother and elder-sister. He had a feeling they'd both hate him if he admitted to growing fond of you. As a result of your nights together Aegon always had Moon Tea prepared to hide the "evidence".

Aegon always felt you reciprocated his advances. Up until he was married he saw you as at least a friend, if not lover. However, all good things must come to an end.

Reluctantly he was forced onto the throne as the event known as the Dance of The Dragons began to culminate. Ever loyal to Rhaenyra, you stayed her handmaid. An action Aegon found resentment towards....

Aegon had Helaena to give him heirs, but he didn't particularly enjoy it. Aegon always found himself lusting over other women instead. Oddly his choices often resembled you.

As king during the Targaryen Civil War, it was expected he'd go through many hardships. Even with his golden mount, Sunfyre, by his side... The Blacks still proved to be formidable opponents. He still hated the idea of you being loyal to them... even after everything you shared together.

Aegon's thoughts about you never left his mind. Helaena was not blind to the infatuation in Aegon's eyes. The king, even as a fully fledged adult now, still thought of you. Fate had been cruel... and kept getting crueler.

Aegon wondered if he'd even see you again. Throughout his time as king he had witnessed, assassinations, and the death of his children. He suffers all while you tend to Rhaenyra and Daemon.

He finds himself yearning for you.

His hate for The Blacks grows when he fights Rhaenys. Upon dragon back he was struck down, Sunfyre unable to win against Rhaenys' mount, Meleys. As a result he was left burned and twisted.

By the time the king reunites with you, his face and body are marred. He feels mixed feelings when he sees you stand beside Rhaenyra during the attack on Dragonstone. Even more so when he sees you with Rhaenyra's son behind you.

Aegon feels no remorse when he orders guards to pull you and Rhaenyra's son away. He doesn't give a damn when he orders Sunfyre to sear and consume the false queen. That woman has taken enough from him.

Her death brings a grin to his face.

You're all his.

While many suggested he kill Aegon The Younger, the king turns down such suggestions. The boy, and you, already seemed traumatized enough. Instead he takes the boy prisoner.

Which makes you his new handmaid.

You didn't dare look at him after that. You looked so broken after seeing the death of Rhaenyra, your queen. The Dance of Dragons was not quite done, as resistance still brewed within Black supporters.

However, Aegon could care less currently.

He spared the boy partially for you. He may look different now... but his infatuation for you never left. You stare at his burned and scarred face in fear.

Despite such fear he finds himself embracing you. He struggled to walk and is nowhere close to how he was when he was younger. Even just in his 20's he looks like he's seen hell.

You don't move in his grip. He merely holds you tighter against him. He has waited a long time to have you again.

You still look just as beautiful as the last time he's seen you, a young woman in your 20's who hasn't been through war.

He still wishes to kiss you and share that much affection and intimacy with you. Yet, he settles with easing you into it with a kiss on your forehead. He even tries to cultivate the old feelings you had with advances... even allowing you to visit Aegon the Younger.

Your relationship may not be like it was before... it may never be...

But Aegon is determined.

He has you all to himself now... in his eyes he's won....

The war isn't over, many still support the prince he keeps prisoner. But for now he'd like to ignore all the warfare. He's tired of the fighting...

All he needs is you now...

With you in his arms... he'll take on whatever they throw at him.

He doesn't care if he dies now... as long as he has you by his side during it.

#yandere house of the dragon #yandere a song of ice and fire #yandere fire and blood #yandere westeros #yandere aegon II targaryen #yandere aegon targaryen

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queenshelby · 2 months

Text

An Illicit Affair

Part 12: The Greenhouse

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (46) x Reader (23)

Warning: Age-Gap, Taboo Relationship, Infidelity

Dressed in a black dress, you arrived at the university event early, ensuring that everything was running smoothly.

The hall was decorated beautifully, with fairy lights strung along the walls and fresh flowers adorning each tall table. The sound of soft music filled the air, creating a romantic atmosphere while waiters walked around, offering drinks and canapes.

As guests trickled in, you scanned the crowd, searching for the people you knew. You spotted James and Lucy standing near the entrance, laughing and chatting with others. Just like Cillian and the chair of the UNESCO board in London, James was a guest speaker at the event and since you, amongst some other students, were organizing the fund raiser, you had to act professional and polite towards everyone attending.

Your gaze then wandered across the room again and, eventually, you spotted Cillian who was accompanied by his wife Danielle and Max.

The sight of them sent a rush of conflicting emotions through you. You wanted to see Cillian yet dreaded the encounter.

After ignoring his text message a couple of weeks ago, following your date with James, you knew that your encounter with him might be awkward and Danielle's presence didn't ease the situation either.

She looked stunning herself and, ever since she married Cillian, she never missed an opportunity to showcase her wealth and influence as, clearly, she enjoyed his celebrity status more than he did.

Danielle dressed up like she owned the fashion industry, wearing a white dress. Her blonde hair was styled to perfection, cascading effortlessly down her shoulders, and she flaunted her 4,000-pound designer bag with pride.

Max too was dressed to impressed, wearing a black suit and a slim tie.

He couldn't deny that he looked good, but there was a slight awkwardness to his demeanor, a shadow of pain lurking behind his confident façade. His gaze shifted discreetly to you, a small frown creasing his forehead before he turned his attention to the person beside him.

Cillian, on the other hand, gave you a knowing smile and you knew that, at the very least, you had to greet him and his wife.

So, mustering up your courage, you approached them, smiling awkwardly.

"Y/N," Danielle greeted you, extending her slender arm, offering her manicured hand. "It is so good to see you again," she said, her voice dripping with artificial warmth just like when you had visited Max's family home in Dublin some time ago. There was always something odd about her but you knew to remain polite nonetheless.

"It's good to see you too, Mrs Murphy," you muttered, shaking her hand briefly before also greeting Cillian and Max with a friendly nod.

"Hey," Max greeted you casually, his gaze lingering on you longer than necessary.

"You look incredible!" he added bluntly, a playful grin spreading across his lips. That remark took you aback but you smiled anyway, hoping that no one noticed Max's comment.

"Thanks," you responded shyly, your cheeks burning red in embarrassment as you quickly moved away from him.

"And, how have you been Mr Murphy?" you asked Cillian politely without making direct eye contact, simply to avoid having to further engage in a conversation with Max.

"Good, thank you," Cillian replied, his tone low and gravelly. "You?" he asked, his gaze flickering downwards, a ghost of a smile touching his lips.

"I'm doing alright," you assured him, allowing the silence to stretch between you just before Danielle whisked her husband away, seeking an introduction to Professor Smith from the UNESCO board.

"It has been good to see you Y/N. I am glad you are doing okay," Cillian remarked coldly while casting a sideways glance at you.

"You too," you nodded and watched him disappear into the throng of attendees as a strange mix of frustration and hope coursed through you, stirring up old memories and fantasies you had tried to suppress.

Despite your apprehension towards engaging with Cillian again however, the event progressed rather smoothly, with various speakers sharing their experiences and insights on the importance of education and literacy.

Cillian in particular delivered a moving speech about education and empathy, weaving together personal anecdotes, and compelling statistics that brought the audience to think of the importance of being kind to one another.

"Oh god, this is getting so old," Max murmured, standing next to you while listening to his father speak. "Didn't he say this stuff a million times before?" he asked rhetorically, rolling his eyes.

"Well, for what it is worth, I think your dad's speech is quite good and articulate," you defended Cillian, unable to help yourself despite Max's cynicism.

"Yeah, but I have heard it a hundred times before," Max countered, crossing his arms defensively.

"Fair enough," you shrugged your shoulders. "But, nevertheless, it is still relevant, isn't it?" you reasoned, raising your eyebrows. "Empathy in an education setting is important, especially nowadays, in the age of social media," you argued, catching Max's attention.

"When did you become a fucking expert on social issues like this?" Max retorted, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"I mean, I'm not an expert, but I know a thing or two about it," you responded coolly, turning to look at the stage where Cillian was wrapping up his speech. "I see many patients in hospital who inflicted harm upon themselves because of bullying. It is a big issue," you told Max as Cillian ended his presentation with a powerful call to action, urging everyone present to make a difference in the lives of others.

The room erupted in applause, and Cillian graciously acknowledged the support.

As the crowd dispersed, you caught him glancing at you from the speaker's podium. The intensity behind his eyes held a peculiar mixture of warmth and longing, which caused a tremble of anticipation to ripple through your entire body. With every beat of your pulse, you became increasingly drawn to this man again and, feeling increasingly overwhelmed by your emotions, you decided to step outside for some fresh air, hoping to find a moment of peace amidst the chaos.

You leaned against the wall, closing your eyes, letting the gentle breeze brush against your face for just a moment as, suddenly, you heard some footsteps.

When you opened your eyes, you saw Cillian approaching you with a questioning expression on his face.

"Need some fresh air?" he asked with a gentle smile, causing you to nod.

"Sometimes, the noise indoors gets overwhelming, doesn't it?" he continued, gesturing towards the open door. "Makes you want to retreat somewhere quiet," he added, a knowing spark lighting up his ice-blue eyes.

"Yes, exactly," you echoed, grateful for the understanding in his words.

You glanced back inside the room to check if anyone else had joined you outside. When you realized that nobody was paying attention to you and Cillian, you let out a sigh of relief.

The moment felt heavy with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silver glow on the grounds. As the wind rustled through the trees, sending whispers of leaves dancing, you could feel Cillian's gaze on you. His proximity stirred a flutter in your chest, and you found yourself lost in his ice-blue eyes.

"You really enjoyed that, didn't you?" you said, finally breaking the silence.

"Enjoyed what?" he asked, puzzled by what you meant.

"Giving that speech," you clarified, biting your lip nervously. "It's empowering to see someone so passionate about something they believe in," you confessed, feeling a wave of admiration wash over you.

"Ah," Cillian nodded, his gaze flickering downward, thoughtful. "Yeah, it is something I don't talking about, I suppose," he said humbly, and, in that moment, his piercing blue eyes held a certain depth and maturity, making you feel drawn to him, his charisma undeniable.

"You suppose?" you giggled, unable to contain your amusement. "I thought you loved speaking in public," you teased him playfully, shaking your head in disbelief, knowing that, usually, he hated the attention.

"Well, sometimes I do," Cillian admitted, his gaze drifting away as it danced with the memory of the moments he spent addressing the audience. "But, honestly, I prefer smaller crowds," he added, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

You laughed at his honesty, sensing that he felt comfortable around you. This realization made you blush, a sudden surge of warmth enveloping your entire body.

"You should consider doing more speeches like that," you encouraged him, placing your hands on his arms gently. "People listen to you because of you who are. So they're impactful," you added, locking eyes with him.

His gaze lingered on you for a moment before he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Perhaps," he conceded, his voice barely louder than a whisper as, through the door and windows, you heard the next speaker, James, being introduced to the crowd.

"You should probably go inside and listen to your boyfriend speak," Cillian suggested, arching an eyebrow mischievously. "Or he might get jealous," he added, his lighthearted humor making you laugh.

"What makes you think that I am dating James?" you asked Cillian, a flush of heat coloring your cheeks.

"I just assumed," Cillian shrugged, his eyes flickering nervously. "You seemed close," he explained, his voice trailing off.

"He's not my type," you replied, shrugging your shoulders dismissively. "Anyway, we're just friends," you added, your voice cracking slightly.

"Well, that's good," Cillian responded, a hint of relief washing over his face. "Because I think he seems a little too arrogant for you," he then teased, causing you to furrow your brow.

"Is that so, huh?" you replied coyly, glancing at Cillian with a sheepish grin. "Well, you might be right there," you admitted, feeling a tingle of excitement course through your veins. "He is a little arrogant and I still feel somewhat drawn towards a certain kind of actor, so...," you said, your voice dropping to a hushed whisper.

Cillian's breath hitched and the air between you crackled with electricity, and you could hear the faint thrumming of your heartbeat echoing in your ears. The tension between you was palpable, and you knew that you were playing with fire.

"A certain kind of actor?" Cillian repeated, his gaze fixated on you.

"Yeah, but unfortunately he is unavailable," you added, your voice trailing off as Cillian's ice-blue eyes bore into you, a storm of emotions brewing in the depths of his pupils.

"I really miss you, you know?" Cillian whispered quietly, his voice trembling slightly. "I just cannot get you out of my fucking head," he admitted, reaching out to touch your hand, his fingertips grazing the sensitive skin lightly.

"I know," you murmured softly, leaning closer to his ear, your breath hot against his neck. "And, I wish I could say that I hate you for ending things the way you did, but I get it. I get why you did it," you confessed, your voice thick with emotion as Cillian closed his eyes, savoring the sweet sound of your voice as it resonated in his eardrums.

"Let's take a walk," you then suggested, pulling him toward the campus gardens. "I need some space to clear my head," you confessed, eager to escape the crowd and the looming threat of discovery.

"Okay," Cillian agreed hesitantly, following you through the grand entrance of another campus building, located on the other side of the greens and the parking lot.

"Where are we going though?" Cillian asked you cautiously, his eyes darting left and right, scanning the area warily.

"Just somewhere more private," you whispered back, the scent of your perfume wafting tantalizingly under his nose. He could feel an insistent throb beginning to stir deep within his loins, straining against the confines of his trousers.

"Alright," Cillian agreed, reluctantly releasing your hand. "But remember, we can't be seen together," he reminded you sternly, his tone laced with suppressed urgency.

"Don't worry, I got this," you reassured him confidently, slipping your hand into his and intertwining your fingers with his before pulling him into the garden nursery, a small but secluded greenhouse not far from the function hall.

"Here," you said, stepping inside, the dimmer light of the greenhouse engulfing you both in a warm cocoon of shadows.

The greenhouse was illuminated by soft glowing lamps hanging overhead, casting eerie silhouettes on the glass panes in front of you. The smell of damp earth and decaying vegetation permeated the air, a sharp contrast to the elegant surroundings you had just left behind.

"Can you imagine what would happen if someone saw us here?" Cillian muttered nervously, his voice quivering slightly.

"No one comes in here at this hour," you responded, taking a step closer to him, pressing your body up against his. "Trust me," you added seductively, tilting your head slightly to lock eyes with him.

"Are you sure?" Cillian whispered in your ear, his warm breath fanning out against your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

"Yeah," you murmured, leaning in closer, your heart pounding wildly in your chest. "Let's just enjoy this moment," you breathed onto his shoulder, gripping his hand tightly.

"For tonight, yeah," Cillian agreed, pulling you closer, his fingers tracing lines along your bare arm before, finally, he pressed his lips on to yours.

This time, the kiss was different - deeper, wilder, more desperate. It was almost primal as you both fell back against the nearest bench, your bodies colliding with the hard wood surface with a dull thud. Cillian pulled away from you for a second, panting heavily before gazing at you through half-lidded eyes.

"Fuck, I missed this," he gasped, his voice hoarse and strained as he traced your jawline with his fingertips delicately.

You couldn't resist the temptation any longer and kissed him back, passionately, your tongue exploring his mouth eagerly.

"Y/N," Cillian moaned, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly, pulling you even closer until you could feel his erect cock against your thigh.

You reached down, cupping his erection through his pants, and groaning in response.

"I missed this too," you panted, stroking him roughly through his trousers while he quickly unbuckled his belt.

"Let's get these off," he whispered hoarsely, his breathing labored as he tugged your dress up past your hips, exposing your underwear.

"Hmm, but we better be quick," you told him before reaching beneath your dress and sliding off your panties and letting them fall on to the dirt covered floor.

"Agreed," Cillian grunted as you then lowered his zipper completely and slid his jeans down to his knees.

His cock sprang free, and you immediately climbed on top of where he was sitting. You then reached down in between you to stroke the tip of his cock and guide it right to your wet pussy. He grabbed your hips and helped you lower yourself onto him while he stayed seated. Your inner muscles instantly clamped down on his hardness, and he groaned loudly as his cock disappeared inside you.

"Fuck, Y/N," he gasped, watching you carefully. "You're so tight," he complimented you, squeezing your asscheeks gently.

"Oh god," you whimpered, grinding your hips against him, enjoying the sensation of being fully impaled on his cock.

"This feels fucking amazing," you admitted, looking directly into his eyes, feeling incredibly vulnerable and exposed.

"So fucking good," you repeated, rocking your hips against him harder.

"Shh, not so loud," Cillian hissed, glancing around nervously to double-check that no one had entered the greenhouse.

"I can't help it," you pleaded, burying your face in his sweat-soaked neck while trying to muffle your cries.

Cillian groaned loudly, his grip tightening around your waist as he thrust upwards into you.

"Fuck," he hissed, his fingers digging into your flesh painfully.

The rhythmic slap of your bodies smashing together sounded harsh in the otherwise silent greenhouse.

"Tell me how good my pussy feels, Cillian!" you whimpered, grinding your hips against him while his cock twitched inside you.

"Fucking perfect," he growled, his hands now resting on your ass, squeezing it tightly. His cock slid in and out of you with practiced precision, his strokes steady and deliberate. Each thrust sent a shockwave of pleasure through your entire body, and you couldn't help but cry out in ecstasy.

"Oh god, yes," you moaned, clutching handfuls of his shirt as, suddenly, you couldn't hold it any longer.

Your orgasm came crashing down on you like a tidal wave, your body convulsing uncontrollably against his own.

"Fuck, fuck," you screamed, clawing at his skin desperately as you bucked your hips wildly, cumming all over his cock.

"That's it," Cillian growled, his voice strained and raspy.

"You're so fucking tight," he groaned, slamming his cock into you mercilessly, his balls slapping against your ass repeatedly.

"Jesus, I love it," he added, his grip tightening around your waist.

"I love it too," you moaned, running your fingers through his hair lovingly. The intensity of your lust and desire for each other seemed impossible to contain, yet you both reveled in the forbidden nature of your encounter.

"I've missed you so much," you whispered, your voice hoarse and ragged.

"I've missed you too," he responded, his voice cracking slightly under the weight of his emotions.

"I want you to cum inside me Cillian. Please," you begged as you rocked your hips back and forth, meeting every thrust with equal force. "Please fill me up with your cum," you whined, arching your back and throwing your head back, your hair falling down like a curtain of silk.

In response, Cillian buried his face in your neck, sucking and kissing the tender spot behind your ear. It drove you crazy, and you began to grind against him harder, feeling his length throbbing inside you as, eventually, he reached his climax too.

You could feel his cock pulsing, spurting jet after jet of hot sticky cum into you, filling you up completely.

"Fuck, that was amazing," you whispered breathlessly, collapsing onto top of him, your sweat-slicked skin sticking to his.

"Definitely," Cillian agreed, holding you close, your faces mere inches apart. You could sense the beating of his heart under your cheek, the warmth of his breath on your temple. In that moment, everything felt right. You felt whole until, eventually, you had to break it up and head back to the function, which is where Danielle was already looking for her husband.

"Where have you been?" she asked him as you both returned separately, through different entrances.

"I just needed some air after the speech," Cillian told her casually as he reached for a drink while Danielle gracefully pulled a leaf from his hair.

"Some air?" Danielle arched an eyebrow skeptically as she fixed Cillian with a scrutinizing gaze. "Okay," she added, brushing the stray strands of hair off his forehead, which is when she noticed a stain on the collar of his otherwise pristine white shirt.

She squinted suspiciously, her lips curling into a thin line as she spotted what appeared to be some make up. Red lipstick mixed with a stain of foundation.

To be continued...

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@heidimoreton @nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter @smailaway @sophiaaguirred

#cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you

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theggning · 1 year

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Luis as Don Quixote

Luis' affection for/continuing references to Don Quixote are one of my favorite little details in RE4make. We find several files that mention it was his favorite book as a child, and of course he brings it up in chapter 11, casting himself as Don Quixote (the "dashing" hero), Leon as Sancho Panza (the goofy sidekick), and Ashley as Dulcinea (the beautiful, kidnapped princess.)

For the uninitiated, Don Quixote is an early 17th century Spanish novel by Miguel de Cervantes about a middle aged nobleman whose obsession with books leads him to become a "knight," setting out to live the romantic ideals of chivalry and make the world a better place. However, out of delusion or idealism bordering on delusion, he makes foolish mistakes and causes a lot of trouble (for instance, the famous "tilting at windmills" incident.) The novel is a parody of the chivalric stories popular at the time, and interpretations over the years vary on whether Don Quixote is a comedic or a tragic figure, whether we are meant to feel pity for him or view him as a fool and a menace to society.

RE4make shows us that a young Luis was inspired to become a scientist by the plaga infection and death of his grandfather, and set out on his career in the outside world with good intentions. But just like Don Quixote, his obsession and idealism led him to making mistakes, both in his work for Umbrella and his affiliation with Los Illuminados. Though it's implied Luis kept some kind of moral compass intact (he quit Umbrella even before everything went to hell, and he was working to undermine and counter Saddler for some time,) he feels responsible for the collateral damage wrought by his work and blames himself for not seeing his mistakes before it was too late to prevent them.

I just find the whole thing really poignant. Luis holds lifelong enthusiasm for a story about a man who wants to make the world a better place, but who screws up over and over again. Regardless, Don Quixote keeps trying, hoping he'll be able to live up to the hero he's always wanted to be. The "Man of La Mancha" Quixote himself never succeeds at this, eventually returning to his ordinary life and regretful of the harm he has caused.

Luis, on the other hand, really does become a hero. No matter his past actions and no matter how sketchy he acts, by the time he announces his partnership with Leon, Luis is fully committed to a cause greater than saving his own skin. He makes an ACTIVE CHOICE to help Leon and Ashley when it is completely at odds with his own survival, and when he has the means of his own rescue in hand. If he left with Ada as soon as he recovered the Amber, Luis would have lived longer-- but more than likely fallen right back into his same old mistakes and handed over a bioweapon to Wesker. Choosing to help Leon and Ashley seals his fate, but it unquestionably saves both of their lives-- not to mention leads to the chain of events that end Saddler and Los Illuminados, potentially saving the world.

Unlike Don Quixote, Luis does manage to become a hero in the end. And unlike the original game, RE4make acknowledges and remembers it long after he's already gone. Dr. Luis Serra Navarro really was a fine knight, and he really did save the day.

#resident evil #re4make #re4make spoilers #resident evil meta #luis serra #luis sera #luis serra navarro #did i get all his tags this time HOPE SO anyway #little preview before i write the luis serra manifesto coming up here soon #english major tag #resident evil 4 #resident evil 4 remake

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coeluvr · 2 months

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[ In the wind-swept land, within the grand palace, the young princess sits at her vanity, illuminated by flickering candlelight, as she sifts through the stack of letters that have accumulated over the week. ]

“The letters have increased since last month, father works fast,” Soarine remarks dryly, shaking her head as she organizes the correspondence.

[ You’re fourteen, in his eyes you should already be betrothed. ]

Soarine scoffs, a hint of defiance in her voice. “Quite romantic.”

[ Romance is dead. ]

She arches an eyebrow, her gaze challenging. “Don’t let the woman you are interested in hear that.”

[ I should correct myself, it is dead for you, princess. ]

Soarine looks up from her letters, meeting your gaze with a sarcastic glint. “I always knew the red string tale was a lie but you have truly opened my eyes, Lev.”

[ You are welcome. ]

Soarine shakes her head, a small smile playing on her lips. “You’re terrible. At least smile when you talk; otherwise, you seem like a statue. This is why she doesn’t like you.”

[ You have important things to do tomorrow morning, finish everything quickly. ]

“Shields aren’t supposed to order people around,” Soarine reminds you, her tone teasing yet authoritative. “Don’t try to change the subject.”

You nod in acknowledgment of Soarine’s reminder, but she continues before you can interject.

“You should tell the person you like how you feel directly,” she advises, her tone surprisingly mature for her age. “I would want that.”

[ I will keep that in mind. ]

Soarine waves your remark off, stretching her arms languidly. “I know you won’t but at least you talk back unlike a wall.”

As the conversation winds down, the flickering candlelight casts a tranquil ambiance over the room, enveloping the room as she starts writing back her replies.

#coaaf if: soarine #crown of ashes and flames #coaaf if: short stories #interactive fiction

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queerxqueen · 2 years

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byler crumbs from the cast & crew masterpost w/ sources

I’ve freaked out as these moments have happened over the months but I thought I’d track down and compile it all with the sources to give my fellow Bylers a daily dose of optimism.

About Will

David Harbour & Finn Wolfhard - “He’s interested in someone else in the group.” “Yeah, you’ll see soon who he’s interested in.” “Very interested.” (x)

Noah Schnapp - “I don’t think it just came to be, they’re very smart, the Duffers, they outline everything from the beginning. ... They definitely know where they want to go with Will.” (x)

Duffer Brothers - And Will’s sexuality will be [addressed in vol. 2]...? “--Yes!” (x)

Noah Schnapp - “It was always kind of there, but you never really knew, is it just him growing up slower than his friends? Now that he’s gotten older, they made it a very real, obvious thing. Now it’s 100% clear that he is gay and he does love Mike.” (x)

About Mike

Finn Wolfhard - “I think Mike’s just trying to be as normal as possible, and try to keep on a normal path. He might be into some new things, he might be a little more rebellious this year.” (x)

Finn Wolfhard - “There’s a lot of things they both have to learn about themselves, Eleven and Mike, especially for Mike, in order to have proper, like, the love Eleven wants him to give, and in all his relationships in general. It’s kind of a coming of age story within this crazy horror thing.” (x)

Finn Wolfhard - “I think Mike, like, learns a lot about himself, and a lot about how he sees his relationships with people, and yeah… a lot of understanding and growth.” (x)

Finn Wolfhard - “This season is about personal self growth when it comes to Mike and Eleven’s relationship. I think they’re finding out a lot about themselves that they wouldn’t normally know.” (x)

About Mike & Will

Finn Wolfhard - “Yeah. I think you find out slowly through the season, Will’s kind of love towards Mike and I think it’s a really beautiful thing.” How will Mike handle that? “I don’t think he really knows, I think he’s pretty clueless, but I think there’s a mu- probably a mutual understanding and acceptance.” (x)

Finn Wolfhard - *gets super flustered and keeps looking off screen when asked about Byler* “I don’t know, I’m not sure, I wouldn’t know, I, um, I don’t know really, ‘cause, um, we’re pretty early and. I’m not sure, yeah.” (x)

Charlie Heaton - “There’s definitely moments this season where they [Will & Mike] have been closer, and obviously the poster, he [Jonathan] notices he [Will] doesn’t give it to him [Mike].” (x)

Noah Schnapp - “Obviously Byler is just at its peak right now, they’re building that up, so definitely ship that.” (x)

Noah Schnapp - “They have to keep going, they can’t just end it there. In episode 8 you see Mike and him talk, it’s pretty sad. Then in episode 9 there’s an amazing scene…. you’ll have to see.” (x)

Noah Schnapp - Describes season 4 as “unexpected” and “romantic.” (x)

Noah Schnapp - “I mean, I think he wants his friend, obviously. They kind of lost that, they’re obviously super distant. But I think they’re hinting at something a little more, so I guess we’ll have to sit and see.” (x)

Little Details Matter in Stranger Things

Shawn Levy, Executive Producer - “I’ll just say that there aren’t many accidents on ‘Stranger Things,' ... There is clear intention and strategy and real thought given to each and every character. So, if you came away from Volume 1 feeling those bread crumbs of plot and character, it’s probably no accident.” (x)

Dean Zimmerman, Editor - “Like anything, it’s all those invisible decisions, those millions of decisions we make every day. Should I hang on this this long, should I cut to something, you know?” (x)

Amy Parris, Costume Designer - “So, even if you don’t see a detail, it’s there!” (x)

Amy Parris, Costume Designer - [About Robin,] “I added some triangles and equality symbols to kind of have an easter egg that there’s some LGBTQ+ imagery.” (x)

Jeff T, Subtitles Author - [About “tender emotional music” subtitle] “But going back to the leitmotifs, I really liked using ‘tender emotional music plays.’ Because it’s like, ‘Oh, it’s Joyce and Hopper,’ and it connects these moments of intimacy between characters. Our captions don’t have to be flashy, but they have to speak to the truth of the moment, and I really enjoyed using that consistently.” (x)

Leading toward Season 5

Duffer Brothers - "Going back to the original group of boys plus Eleven, the OG group. And again that's kind of setting up us coming full circle back to season 1 and you'll see that with a couple of the character arcs, not just with Will. Things are not fully resolved. The characters have maybe made steps but the journey isn't over yet and all of that is gonna play a huge role as we wrap this thing up.” (x)

#byler #stranger things #stranger things 4 #st cast #noah schnapp #finn wolfhard #mike wheeler #will byers #like i couldnt find the one of charlie heaton saying a byler scene made him emotional slash tear up #so pls help me find that one especially #idc so much about ones just confirming will is gay like WE KNOW THAT ALREADY #cast crumbs #1k+

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sipsteainanxiety · 1 year

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when the night calls...

...do you answer back?

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

word count: 2.7k+

mentions: no pronouns mentioned, char death (bkg) but not reaaalllyyy, aged up chars (25+), supernatural elements in a pro-hero au, grief/mourning, horror-esque but it's romantic i promise, hurt/comfort, lowercase, part of the dark chocolates teahouse collab.

you thought katsuki was gone—that he had abandoned you in this life to move on to the next. you saw his body—lifeless, cold, still. saw him get lowered into the ground in his dark casket enveloped in his hero colors. you stayed, for hours after the funeral, at his grave. wondering why he had to leave—why he had to break the promise he whispered to you on the night you both said your vows.

you thought he was dead. that he'd left you alone.

you were wrong.

the shadows seemed to long for your touch.

they lingered just out of the corner of your vision, always appearing closer than they actually were. you'd turn to see them stretching in your direction in ways that did not align with the light. you played it off as your mind playing tricks on you—as your grief warping your perception. but it was so hard to ignore, so hard to simply shrug off.

they crept over your shoulder—a chill running up and down your spine. they followed along as you walked home after a long day at work. they wrapped around you as you slept. you found yourself lingering in the darkness, not quite understanding why you just—never felt like you were alone. not truly alone, anyways. it was slightly unsettling, but you learned to ignore it.

you weren't scared, not particularly. it was just—cold. it made you feel isolated, at times. like the world was trying to shroud you in this darkness to remind you of what you'd lost.

you needed time by yourself, that was all. you told your friends the same stilted words again and again. i'll be fine, you'd say with a smile, just give me time. you lay in bed—that too large bed with too many pillows—and twisted the silver ring on your finger. staring up at the ceiling swathed in the milky lighting of the moon. the shadows appeared to move before you. your mind did not relent in your exhaustion.

with each passing day the ache in your heart only seemed to grow deeper. you wondered if it would ever end. you wondered if you would ever heal.

it was hard, being at home. traces of katsuki lingered everywhere you went. he was in the large boots that rested neatly by the door. in the lingering smell of burnt caramel that plagued your sheets and clothes. in the worn handle of his favorite spatula. it felt like you were suffocating, surrounded by so much of him. it was only natural for you to want to escape—to breathe. but it wasn’t that simple, and stepping outside just made everything worse.

he was on the t.v. screens in stores as japan still grieved, his face on every news channel. plastered to every pole, every brick wall. memorials were scattered around musutafu. candle stubs lined the streets. they were constructing a statue dedicated to him in front of the agency he’d co-owned with eijiro. you did not let your gaze wander for long. you were torn—drowning in your own sorrows and the sorrows of the people who surrounded you.

moping around would do you no good, you came to realize one day as you stared at a framed picture in your bedroom. it was the two of you on your wedding day, fingers intertwined tightly—two threads woven together expertly. the setting sun cast long shadows around the room from the open window that seemed to latch onto you. holding on for dear life. you ran a finger down katsuki’s face in the picture—the gentle smile he’d graced you with. only ever shown in your presence. you set the frame down and sighed—longing.

it took a few days for you to clean the entire apartment. deep scrubbing it and dousing it in a freshener to get rid of the bits of katsuki that lingered in the air. you hoped—so desperately—that it would alleviate some of the pain you felt in your chest. but as you stood in your darkened living room that smelled like citrus, you only felt emptier, it seemed. you ran a weary hand down your face.

you couldn’t… quite bring yourself to pack his things away just yet, either. so you sat on your couch as the moon peaked at you through the slightly drawn curtains, a single candle lit on the coffee table before you. it was lavender scented. you slumped forward to knead your fingers into your temples. you were exhausted. you missed him, so much that it hurt.

you stared at the flickering tangerine flame as it gleamed across your corneas.

something whispered your name.

it was soft—faint like a breath of air—yet it echoed so loudly in your ears because of how quiet your apartment was. your eyes darted up and to the side, wide and searching in the dark. you were alone. you couldn't see much beyond the couch you were sat upon. you swallowed heavily and waited, straining your ears in case you heard your name again. but you didn't.

you wondered if your grief was driving you insane.

you pursed your lips and stood up so you could slowly make your way to your bedroom to retire for the night. the shadows around you grew deeper with every step you took.

behind you, the candle went out.

you felt as though you were being watched.

it happened out of nowhere, the feeling of eyes on you as you went about your day. at first you chalked it up to your nerves, maybe the fatigue that weighed heavily on your shoulders. but it persisted. the feeling was stronger at night, you noticed, when you were surrounded by the dark. or at least, you weren't as aware of it whilst you were bathed in daylight.

it grew harder and harder to ignore as time passed. in other circumstances, you wouldn't have let it affect you so much. you wouldn't have had such difficulty with proceeding on with your daily routine. but you were troubled by the weight of the stare and the voices that whispered your name at night—when you were at your lowest, sitting in that too cold, too wide living room that smelled like a mix of citrus and lavender.

what really shook you, however, happened one evening after the sun had set and a gloomy dusk settled across the navy sky. you were sitting on the couch in your living room as you read a book, the lamp in the corner turned on to swathe everything in a warm honey glow. after what felt like hours, you eventually got up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. it was then that you felt your foot get caught on something.

at first you thought you'd fallen victim to the blanket that spilled over the arm of the couch like a lazy waterfall. but when you looked down at your foot, you realized it wasn't stuck on anything. in fact, there was nothing wrong with it. you blinked down at your foot slowly, not comprehending what exactly was going on. it felt as though something had wrapped around it, gripping tightly at your ankle. something you couldn't see.

you gave a halfhearted tug at it, noticing how it was in the shadow of the couch from the lamp's light. but it didn't budge—not one bit. something in your stomach seemed to sink and grow deeper as you tried to pull your foot free from whatever held onto it. you swallowed heavily and—with all the strength in your body—wrenched your foot free. out of the deep shadow it was encased in.

the force you used made you stumble back until you hit the floor roughly on your backside. you immediately tugged your legs closer to your body, staring wide-eyed at the spot your foot had been stuck in before. there was nothing there. the skin around your ankle seemed to buzz. a shiver crawled up your spine.

something had changed, that evening.

you started drawing your curtains wide open, letting in the sun's light during the day and the moon's at night. you kept the lights on in every room you were in, chasing away every last remnant of the shadows. you were driving up your electricity bill, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. anything to make you feel safe—in a place where you once thought you could not be harmed.

it made you jumpy—set your attentiveness on fire. it had gotten to the point where your friends had started to notice something was wrong.

"are you... okay?" mina asked you tentatively one day as you met with her for a late lunch. your eyes darted over to look at her from where they'd been lingering on the shadows splayed across the table. "you seem... nervous."

"i'm fine," you assured her quickly, clearing your throat. your fingers tapped at the laminated menu before you. "i just... ah... have a lot on my mind, is all."

mina hummed, but it didn't seem like she really believed you. "if you say so..." her dark eyes looked down at her own menu, then back up at your own with a newfound sincerity to them. "you know we're here for you, right? i know it's... hard. for you."

you looked at her—really looked at her. she looked as tired as you felt, though where she covered her fatigue up with makeup, you didn't. and you were reminded, just then, that katsuki had been her friend, too.

you reached over so you could give her pink hand a gentle squeeze. "yeah"—you gave her a soft smile that she reciprocated—"i know."

you found yourself, one saturday evening, sitting on the floor in the middle of your brightly lit living room as you shuffled through a cardboard box. in it, were photo albums that mitsuki had gifted you so long ago. they were filled to the brim with childhood photos of katsuki—from the moment he was born, to the moment he and you had finally moved in together. you weren’t sure why, exactly, you were compelled to crack open this box, but you did. and it was simultaneously the best and the worst decision you’d made since his death.

you smiled wetly as your fingers flipped page after page, trailed down picture after picture of katsuki. him when he was five, his palms popping like sparklers. him when he was sixteen, grumpily standing with eijiro outside u.a. him when he was twenty-four, an arm wrapped around your shoulders as he scowled off into the distance. you thought everything would get easier—you hoped and dreamed. but it didn’t. at least, not yet.

you sighed and shut the thick album gently. then you hugged it to your chest, closing your eyes as you reminisced.

you breathed in, deep.

there was the smell of burnt caramel in the air—faint.

your eyes snapped open just as the lights went out around you, plunging you into darkness.

for a moment, your breaths stilled. you blinked, your eyes wide as they adjusted to the sudden change. the open window allowed pale blue moonlight to reach into the room, but it wasn’t enough. you glanced around, wondering what had happened. power outage? you glanced at the t.v. stand, where the cable box on the shelf within it still blinked red numbers at you to tell you the time. that was odd. you frowned and slowly picked yourself off the ground.

the moment you moved, you immediately felt the weight of a foreboding, familiar stare. that bore straight through you and set each and every hair on your arms and neck straight. you froze and let your eyes trail around you, cataloging every piece of furniture, every dark shadow that stretched towards you.

and that was when you noticed it.

in the deepest, darkest corner of your living room.

there was something. something that seemed to draw in the darkness around it. that writhed and dripped as it pulled itself up from the ground. no, not from the ground, you discovered. from the shadows. it was large. it was tenebrous. and it terrified you.

but you couldn’t get yourself to run away. no matter how much you willed your legs to move, it seemed like you were rooted to one spot. you watched as this thing slammed a large, clawed hand on the floor—midnight like the shadows around it—and scratched its nails deep into the wood. it coalesced into what looked like a head and shoulders—a torso that moved in a way that was inhumane.

you took in a sharp breath of air when it rasped out something deep. that grated at your ears and made you feel the sudden urge to run. two crimson dots peered at you—bright like smoldering pieces of coal. and you realized you were looking right into its eyes.

it was difficult to decipher where the thing started and where it ended, with how wrapped into the shadows it was. you felt your heart leap up into your throat when it rasped that same word again—that you soon realized wasn't just any normal word. it was your name. and maybe that realization was all it took to jar you into movement.

you stumbled backwards, your instincts screaming at you to get away—run as fast as you could. it wasn't safe here anymore, it wasn't safe. you spun around and lunged for the front door, hoping, perhaps, that once you left your apartment, you would be okay. you could get help.

but you didn't make it too far.

something latched onto your leg, crawled up your body until you were twirled back around and forced into one spot. the thing wrapped its murky limbs around you, looming over you until all you could see was its strange, dark body. it pinned your arms to your sides and gripped at your chin to make you look up at it.

it said your name again—in a voice, you noticed, was familiar, somehow. with an undertone of this desperation. that gripped at your heart and caused you to look into its crimson eyes once more. really look at them. and what you saw reflected against them made you stop struggling. the pale moonlight backlit its features that slowly took on a shape you could recognize. you swallowed heavily.

"katsuki?" you whispered hesitantly. its grip loosened slightly at your voice. and suddenly you were burning up from the inside as the last bits of shadow slipped from its face and revealed one you knew all too well—that plagued you in your dreams and your nightmares. you slipped a hand out of his hold so you could reach up with shaky fingers and lightly touch at the curve of his cheek. his eyes closed.

"how are—" you choked out, your voice thick with emotions you couldn't even begin to decipher. your eyes frantically darted across his features, taking them in—memorizing them as though it was the last time you would ever see them again. he looked like himself, like your katsuki. but there was his underlying feeling that something was wrong. inhuman in the paleness of his skin and the way this darkness seemed to cling to him, unrelenting. "how are you—"

"i fought through hell," katsuki rasped out in a voice that seemed to echo in your ears, "to get back to you."

"you—" something seemed to lodge itself in your throat, just then. and all you could do was lean forward and wrap your arms around his shoulders. pulling him closer so you could rest your ear against his chest and listen to the thrumming of his heart. alive.

"it was hard"—he swallowed thickly—"i tried so fuckin' hard to let y'know i was here. but i was so fuckin' weak. couldn't do shit other than mess with the lights."

"all that time," you breathed as you turned your gaze to look up at him, "it was you?" he only grunted and held you closer. you bit at the inside of your bottom lip to keep it from trembling and buried your face into his dark chest. his body seemed to waver—shake, almost—like it could fall apart at any second. and that terrified you.

"what... happened to you?" you asked in a stifled voice, talking into his sternum. "please tell me you can stay."

"don't think 'bout that," he told you as one of his clawed hands came up to cradle the back of your head. you sunk deeper into his hold, unwilling to let go. "'m here now, yeah?"

you held him tighter—as though you could absorb him directly into your body. it was true, he was back. he was here as this tumultuous being of the night. that had clawed his way back to you—defying death as you knew it.

but at a cost you knew would never be repaid.

#teahouse collab: dark chocolates #no bc he LITERALLY fought thru hell to get back to u #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #anyways um idk where i was going with this but uhhhh eldritch horror bkg ig #light dose on the eldritch #me to this one shot: i hate u biiitch #pain in my ass #bakugou x you

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