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herohimbowhore · 6 months

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The revolving door of Red Bull drivers within the past decade has always been a topic of discussion.

Webber retires and Ricciardo's in. Vettel leaves for Ferrari and in comes Kyvat. Oops, no Kyvat out, and Verstappen takes his place. Ricciardo leaves and Gasly is promoted to the main team. But Gasly isn't it, and in comes Albon. Nevermind, Albon out and Perez is the man. Or is he?

It's a neverending cycle of one driver in and another replacing him only for rumors about replacements to swirl.

Hundreds of years earlier, similar patterns existed with Henry VIII and his six wives.

This brings forth the question: which wife's narrative suits the most for some of the former and current Red Bull drivers.

Based on the song Ex-Wives from Six: The Musical.

________________________________________________

My name's Catherine Of Aragon

Was married 24 years, I'm a paragon

Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican

So if you try to dump me

You won't try that again

The initial thought for Catherine of Aragon, based solely on being the first wife would be Sebastian Vettel. He's the first Red Bull junior to make it to the main team, take the first win for both Toro Rosso and Red Bull, and win the first championship with the team.

However, Catherine of Aragon is Max Verstappen. Lyrically and based on the narrative, Max Verstappen is most like Catherine.

Paragon of royalty:

This could be translated into a racing lineage. Both of Max's parents were in motorsport. Jos is a former Formula 1 driver, though undeniably nowhere as good as his son. Sophie is a karting and race car driver who competed against Jenson Button, Giancarlo Fisichella, Jarno Trulli, and Nick Heidfeld. Christian Horner in a recent interview on Dax Shepard's podcast eff won with DRS said that he used to kart against Sophie and she beat him.

My loyalty is to the Vatican:

In this situation, the Vatican would be Red Bull. Max's current contract ends in 2028 and he has mentioned many times that he could possibly retire when that contract ends. Max has never talked about a desire to race for another team.

Also, Max is rarely spotted not wearing the team kit. The man is dedicated to the team.

I'm that Boleyn girl

And I'm up next

See, I broke England from the Church

Yeah, I'm that sexy

Why did I lose my head?

Well, my sleeves may be green

But my lipstick's red!

Anne Boleyn is undeniably Sebastian Vettel.

Lyrically and based on the colors mentioned in the song, Sebastian has the makings of the Boleyn girl.

See, I broke England from the Church:

Breaking England from the Church for Sebastian is ending the Red Bull/Sebastian Vettel partnership that had won the team four drivers' championships and four constructors' championships.

Red Bull back then was Sebastian Vettel, they were one and the same. Sebastian got them their first everything and it seemed like a solid partnership until Sebastian signed with Ferrari. Thus, breaking England from the Church, or in this case leaving the team he won with.

Why did I lose my head?:

This is 2020.

Nothing is going right, Sebastian's dropped by Ferrari for Carlos Sainz Jr. Commentators are talking about how he isn't the same Sebastian Vettel and he doesn't have that same level of skill as before, especially in comparison to his younger teammate, Charles Leclerc.

Well, my sleeves may be green but my lipstick's red:

Sebastian retired in Aston Martin green, but he's not going to be remembered as the Aston Martin driver, he'll always be a core piece of Red Bull's history in Formula One.

Another way that this can be interpreted is Christian Horner telling Sebastian that he could always take a year off and come back home (Red Bull) if he wanted after Sebastian was dropped by Ferrari.

Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved

Rude

When my son was newly born, I died

But I'm not what I seem

Or am I?

Stick around, and you'll suddenly see more

Now, Jane was a difficult one because she could be connected to three different drivers (Sebastian, Daniel, and Checo) at different points in their respective careers. But, in my opinion, based on how the 2023 season has played out, Checo is most like Jane Seymour.

the one he truly loved (rude):

While Checo is probably not the most loved of the drivers for Christian (see: Max, Sebastian, Daniel), the lyric does fit him when put into comparison with Pierre and Alex. Of Checo, Pierre, and Alex, he is the one that was truly loved.

Checo, when not performing to the level that Red Bull wants, has gotten a lot more support than Pierre and Alex. He's also lasted much longer than the other two.

When my son was newly born, I died:

This is Checo's championship aspirations earlier this year.

Just when it looked like Checo could be a legitimate challenger for Max in the drivers' championship, he had a fall in form. After two race wins and only a few points separating them, there was hope that maybe, just maybe Checo could beat Max. But following Miami, Max went on to have a record-breaking amount of consecutive wins. Thus, killing the newly born championship dreams for 2023.

Ich bin Anna of Cleves

When he saw my portrait he was like

Ja!

But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic

Funny how we all discuss that, but never Henry's little

One thing Anna of Cleves and Pierre Gasly had in common was that they both only had a short union with Henry VIII and Red Bull. However, after the breakup, they continued to be tied to their ex.

Anna of Cleves stayed in England and was a present figure in Henry VIII's life after their divorce, sometimes called his sister. Pierre Gasly was demoted to the junior team, AlphaTauri, and stayed there for a few years.

When he saw my portrait he was like, Ja!:

When Daniel left Red Bull, they needed to bring someone in to replace him, and out of the two drivers on the junior team, they picked Pierre. They saw his portrait (his record with the junior team) and thought it good enough to be promoted.

But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic:

Pierre's time with Red Bull is short-lived, just like Anna of Cleves' marriage to Henry VIII. He wasn't performing like Red Bull wanted, therefore, didn't look as good as he did when they signed him. Which led to a premature end and quick replacement just halfway through the 2019 season.

Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine who lost her head

For my promiscuity outside of wed

Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons

K Howard is here, and the fun's begun

If Pierre is Anna of Cleves, then Alex Albon is Katherine Howard. Much like in the song when Katherine Howard begins singing halfway through Anna of Cleves' verse, Alex Albon began his time with Red Bull halfway through Pierre's contract.

Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine who lost her head:

Alex's version of losing his head is not getting a contract for 2021 and becoming a test driver for the team. He spent the year without a race seat and it could have been a forever thing.

Katherine was young and married early, Alex was promoted before his time in his rookie year. Both of them were punished for something that was beyond their ability.

K Howard is here, and the fun's begun:

This is Alex with Williams, but still going to Red Bull events like Wings for Life and hanging out with drivers in the Red Bull "family." He's having fun, showing off his ability as a driver, and just making them think about offering him a contract when his contract with Williams ends.

Five down, I'm the final wife

I saw him to the end of his life

I'm the survivor, Catherine Parr

I bet you wanna know how I got this far

I said, I bet you wanna know how I got this far

Now, Catherine Parr, most would think is Sergio Perez. It would make sense, he's still with the team and he was a factor in winning the 2021 drivers' championship and has scored points for the 2022 and 2023 constructors' championship wins.

But Catherine Parr fits with Daniel Ricciardo. He is, in the sense of Red Bull, the survivor.

I saw him to the end of his life:

Daniel coming into Red Bull in 2014 saw Red Bull at the end of the team's first block of domination and the end of Sebastian's career with Red Bull.

This was the Red Bull downfall era as Mercedes was emerging as the top team. Daniel was the only Red Bull driver to get wins for the team. Daniel was there at the end.

I'm the survivor:

Daniel, unlike Pierre, Alex, and now Checo, was able to leave Red Bull with his head held high and a highly regarded driver. When he left, there weren't rumors of him losing his seat. It was on his own terms. He is, to this day, the only one of Max's teammates at Red Bull to beat him and challenge him over the course of a season.

Additionally, even after a downfall after the McLaren stint, Daniel's come back to Red Bull and is considered to be in contention for the second Red Bull seat. He is the survivor of the six Red Bull drivers. When his career seemed like it was going to end, he came back. In Mexico, he was in the top 10 in all sessions during the weekend and gave AlphaTauri their highest Grand Prix finishing of the season. In Brazil, despite rear wing damage that led him to be a lap down and spending most of the race behind Yuki, he was the third-fastest driver.

More on Red Bull Drivers:

Red Bull Industrial Complex: A timeline of all lineup changes in RB and TR/AT

#red bull racing #ex-wives of henry viii as red bull drivers #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #alex albon #sergio perez #sebastian vettel #pierre gasly #ex-wives six the musical #f1 through music #formula 1

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silentreigns · 10 months

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Austrian GP 2023 Post-Race Reflection

I was watching the post-race review show and as soon as I turned it on, I heard Ms. Thing say that p7 is Lewis's worst result at Red Bull Ring ever. And in the post-race interview he was NOT having it by his facial expression. He wont ever say that he's mad at the team out loud, but you can pretty much tell he's fed up with how volatile the car is.

Overall the race was fine. Not as exciting as Canada. Those 3 laps where Charles was leading was pretty cool. What wasn't cool was Max closing the gap a second after every lap.

Ferrari are actually listening to Charles and Carlos with strategy calls. It only took like 10 races but they finally got there

But Ferrari had me pressed with the botched double-stacking pitstops like Carlos lost so much time 😭. I wonder if that and the 5 second penalty didn't happen, would he have been on the podium?

Carlos saying to keep Lando within DRS so that they can both keep Checo behind was so sexy. Like we love a master strategist

Honestly Carlando were carrying that whole race on their back. Their fight was the most exciting part of the race. We honestly needed 2 drivers of the day because both of them deserve it

I don't know what dirt RedBull has on the FIA or whatever but I definitely saw Checo go over track limits a lot when he was in front of Lewis. I'm not a Checo hater (I've actually been defending him against Danny Ric fans) but I need everyone to be for real. He definitely deserved a 5 second penalty throughout the race and the fact that he didn't is kinda shocking

Too many time penalties, like I've never seen a race have so many people get black and white flagged. I stopped counting after 7 penalties (and I heard Yuki got a 10 second penalty at some point). But the FIA need to fix it like all drivers at some point exceeded track limits. That's not normal at all

I was hoping Alex could hold onto p10 because a back to back points finish would have been incredible. Both Williams have shown massive improvement. Even Logan was p9 at one point of the race (it was because everyone went in for a pitstop but a point scoring position is a point scoring position). I do think Logan will be the next rookie to score points at some point

Did Aston Martin screw Stroll over with the strategy? Am I misremembering or did he have to pit a lot? I am just baffled because he started 6th so how did he fall so behind? They didn't show much of his race so I couldn't tell

The fight for p16 was very entertaining but I couldn't stop quoting the "they're having a mid off" tweet in my head 😭. It's not funny when you realize Alfa Romeo and AlphaTauri have been regressing with race pace by a huge margin, and I like their drivers

I am pretty neutral about Silverstone, that way I won't be too upset if Mercedes's upgrades don't work that much

#formula 1 #f1 #austrian gp 2023 #lewis hamilton #max verstappen #charles leclerc #carlos sainz #lando norris #carlando #checo perez #sergio perez #lance stroll #alex albon #logan sargeant #yuki tsunoda

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racingliners · 1 year

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Livery Watch 2023

As we head into F1 car launches tomorrow (woo), I have decided to (completely unprompted) share my wishlist for the liveries for the 2023 grid. For no other reason that I am way more interested in colour schemes than I should be. (And because I keep going on about liveries in my 2022 re-watch posts, so I might as well go off about it properly)

Red Bull: Please get rid of the matte finish I am BEGGING. The soft metallic blue livery from the early 2010s was literally top tier, I’d also like it if they went back to having the Bull part of the logo have a white outline, the yellow one just looks off to me idk why.

Mercedes: Silver Chrome. That’s it that’s all I want. (Silver chrome with the Petronas turquoise accents would be so sexy let’s be real)

Ferrari: Again, ditch the matte. Glossy Ferrari red is where it’s at, though I did love the one off burgundy livery so I would allow that.

McLaren: Less exposed black, more papaya please and thanks (and again, make it glossy). I do like the blue accents, but keep them accents pls I want orange

Alpine: No notes. The pink and blue combo is so pretty, keep up the good work.

Aston Martin: If it isn’t British Racing Green I will be suing Lawrence Stroll for emotional damages.

Alpha Tauri: Also no notes, I actually really love the navy and white combo it looks so nice

Alfa Romeo: Again, no notes. Glossy white with the deep metallic red is v sexy.

Haas: Now here is where I think a matte livery would work. Maybe a white and charcoal with glossy neon red accents.

Williams: Maybe like a royal blue to white ombre? They did something like that in 2019 with the Rokit sponsorship and I really liked it. Some glossy black accents (thin stripes going from front to back maybe??) would look really nice.

I will definitely update this post when the actual liveries get launched and see how they compare!

#there's a theme here I don't know if you can tell #it's not that I have beef with matte finishes; bc if done RIGHT it looks great #but with some of the liveries it's just... bland #I want the cars to be SHINY #(mainly bc they look v pretty at night races)#Formula 1 #2023 #F1 Thoughts

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formulaonedirection · 1 year

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2 5 6 8. math is mathing.

It's adding up.......

2. Is there a driver you like more now than you did at the beginning of the season?

HAH. Let's just be #real and say it's obviously...........Carl..........Not that I'm his FAN. Sometimes I just be carlposting......I love men who are a bit pathetic.....bit annoying........

5. What do you think was the funniest moment of the season?

Funniest moment of the season clearly me watching V*rstappen spin irl in 4k not once but twice and then literally JUMPING from my seat screaming THANK YOU GOD and almost getting hate crimed by the red bull fan behind me. I've never laughed harder in my LIFE!

6. Something you're excited to see in DTS?

I do not watch DTS and I will not be watching so unless Daniel and Lando tongue kiss in one of the episodes or we get another Max Fewtrell dating cameo......

8. Best looking and ugliest race suits?

McLaren Singapore suits with the black and hot pink??? Ultra mega smash. Merc black suit always sexy on Lewis thee Hamilton. Also the yellow Ferrari suits were a low key smash ngl.... Aston Martin green is hideous and disgusting to me. Alpine's is also hideous but Este kinda works it so idk maybe it's just ugly on Alonso.

F1 season in review

#DTS is simply a max fewtrell cameo show to ME #the math is mathing so much the numbers look right!#f1 season review

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justdrivee · 3 years

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33 & 11

#making this one reminded me i used to be a red bull fan #aston martin red bull racing was sexy #as was red bull daniel #but i digress lol #someone tell me which team to do next im bad at decisions thanx xoxo #33 #11 #driverdoodles #sergio perez #max verstappen #f1

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sebaston · 2 years

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Ok I finally have time to post all the merch I bagged at the USGP. They had two special mech booths that were selling old stuff waaaaayyy cheaper than the new stuff so that's where I got all my stuff. I got the Aston Martin cap & shirt free from the AM team at the trash pickup 💚💚 I've already been wearing my Seb stuff around I'm so glad they had some!! For comparison new caps were $70 (!1!1!1!!1!1) and the Gasley RBR cap was like $30. And they had a deal where u could get 2 tshirts for $40, when new shirts were like $80

I justified myself buying all these because I didn't have to pay for shipping. Also I'd held myself back from buying any official F1 merch until now so this will be my last haul for a while.

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fantasyizlife · 4 years

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Name a sexier car and driver duo..I'll wait. 🧡🦁❤🏎🔥🔥🔥

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dearmaxverstappen · 5 years

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My baby looks so good in Canada this year 😍😍😍😍😍😍

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neiich · 1 year

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To Max, impressive to see you come up and go past.

this is so cute 😍😍😍

#max verstappen #sebastian vettel #oracle red bull racing #red bull f1 #red bull racing #aston martin #love #beautiful #smile #happy #hot #sexy #awesome #amazing #happiness #gorgeous

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sugar-petals · 3 years

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Hey, Caro, can you please introduce us to that sweet beau, Lewis Hamilton?? He's a speed driver, right??

lemme talk about this champ and beautiful man — he is a must-know.

lewis hamilton is a speed driver: in fact, the best racer in the world. with the fastest formula 1 lap in all history, and: if he wins this season (which has just started last week, your timing to get into this is perfect), lewis can boast a whopping 8 world championships. in short: you’re asking about the right guy. let’s go.

so i repeat, he won seven years (yeah, he’s a capricorn). which equals the current record holder, mister michael schumacher himself, i’m sure you heard of him. so, about time all the world knows more about this stunner as well, sir lewis carl davidson hamilton

lewis is so good and works his butt off so hard, he has more titles — he was knighted last year — and gigantic trophies than he can carry. since we’re talking f1 where drivers have to be light and agile inside the car, lewis is of course gloriously tiny, 5′7. so, the exhausted british short king on your news and twitter feed who walks around like this on a podium after doing 300 kilometers+ is dead sure to be him. can’t miss the guy.

wanna know more? lewis is an allrounder in every field and does everything what people say he can’t. unless he’s not somewhere modelling clothes being gorgeous (he collabs with tommy hilfiger for sustainable unisex collections)...

... taking care of his nieces or godson steve which regulary melts the f1 community...

... is using his favorite little scooter...

... showing up at the met gala as one of the few guys who really get the gist looking beautiful as always...

... playing with his cute crinkly bulldog roscoe who’s always by his side and F1′s most famously beloved driver pet...

...doing the absolute most with his activism and veganism — he even created his own plant-based restaurant chain — because as i said he’s a king, lewis never shies from taking a stand even if a lot of people hate him for it because it’s a white-dominated sport...

...or posts inspirational things that make you believe in yourself...

...lewis drives, can you guess:

for mercedes!

the #1 team which usually only red bull can currently challenge. which means he has a sexy, shiny, impossibly fantastic car — with his lucky number 44, that’s how you can spot it — that is almost always leading the field. if you see this on your sports tv channel on a saturday (qualifying) or sunday (race day), i assure you it’s lewis. 44, glossy black car, pole position, check. a great talent in a perfect car equals one hell of a winning streak.

— but if you ask me, the man is even sexier, cooler, and cuter and the real highlight. just so we’re clear on this. lewis is always a breath of fresh air. believe it or not: this guy is 35 (!!) years old. needless to say, prettiest fashion icon on the grid. and yes, he has amazing hair and tattoos.

killing it. 👍 lewis brings a presence to the grid.

who’s he making proud, then? now some notes on his circle, the people you spot him with.

family hamilton first, who do we have:

dad anthony, lewis’ former manager. at one point he worked 4 jobs so lewis could start his career in karting. carmen, his mom. linda, his stepmom, pictured below. his brother, nicolas, also a race driver. nicolas has a disability (cerebral palsy), he competes in the uk touring championship with a modified car since 2015. like nicolas, lewis is the only (!) black driver in his tournament and they are frequently sending out very important messages about it.

now for mercedes: accompanied he is by the calm and collected finnish valtteri bottas as his taciturn team colleague and runner-up champion. valtteri is the type to sit in a north pole sauna, lewis is ever-active, so they balance each other well. no trouble there, they’re a cool duo.

and i’m not kidding, valtteri is truly finnish. this is his twitter, summarized:

add the smart, austrian mercedes boss toto wolff who has the best height difference to him. these two get along very jokingly. where lewis goes, toto is not far. very dynamic duo, this is the success factory of formula 1.

while his most competitive love-hate relationship sparking the famous ‘silver war’ was retired german champion nico rosberg since day one. who came from priviledged backgrounds while lewis did not, they are the biggest team rivals of recent f1 times and people still talk about it. the ups and downs were huge but they sure had tremendous times as friends.

while the most smooth and consistent relationship — besides with roscoe — has got to be his bond with his whirlwind assistent/physio angela cullen!

lewis credits her for so much and treats her reveringly. you haven’t seen anything like this, they are glued to each other.

lewis’ off-grid relationships come and go because he’s so busy, colleagues come and go all the time, but angela stays a constant. so if you’re asking about who the most important woman on the circuit is to lewis, that is his personal angel(a) indeed. look how wholesome.

i mean, a picture says it all.

last but not least. lewis’ best ever friend is german driver sebastian vettel (formerly ferrari, now aston martin, struggling a lot currently :/), former 4-time world champion. these two are THE match made in heaven and support goals. seb has the humor, lewis has the cheekiness, seb is a father, lewis has his uncle duties, it just fits. everybody should have a seb to their lewis.

(^this is vet having hurried to be the first one to congratulate lewis on his latest championship win)

so now you know more about sir lewis carl davidson hamilton! you will hear a lot from him this season, he’ll continue to champion many a cause, and be in the fast lane as always.

#anon #ask #cub mail 🐆#formula 1 #lewis hamilton #mercedes #f1 #f1 intro

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moony-jamie · 3 years

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Rating the F1 2021 cars

Now that all the cars are released I can finally post this. (Based on my opinion)

1. Aston Martin: ∞/10

This is the livery that dominates my car folder at the monent. Look at her, what a sexy car, the green is incredibly pleasing for the eye and the pink just pops. Apparently the pink was supposed to be lime green and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have liked it as much. Yes maybe I'm a little bit biased but this is easily my favourite car. She's beauty, she's grace, she can run me over and I would say thanks.

2. Mercedes: AMG/10

It's black the blue looks almost glowing and I can't wait to see this beauty in the rain and at night races. Yes the AMG is all over the place but tbh it fits the style and I like the subtle fade into the iconic silver. I really love the number at the back. A very sexy car.

3. Alfa Romeo: 99/10

My secret fave, I always loved the their cars. The red is just amazing and it works so well with the flow of the lines and it looks fast!! Yes this is basically the 2020 livery inverted but it looks so much better. Would take her on a date.

4. Alpha Tauri: topmodel/10

The navy blue is just chef's kiss. Looks really hot on track and in the promo videos but the renders looked weird? Idk what they did with those pictures but she's a model and I could easily see her on the runway.

5. McLaren: rainbow/10

It's basically the same as last year, but I liked it last year. Also the rainbow is back!!! I don't have much to say. A solid livery, bonus points for the rainbow.

6. Alpine: fresh teeth/10

It reminds me of tooth paste but other than that I think it's a solid livery. The blue is shiny and the colours work well together. Also bonus points for the subtle French flags, this is how you put the national colours on a car.

7. Ferrari: green???/10

Ferrari sweetie what is you doing?? I had so much trust in you when drafting this post and now I had to put you back in 7. place (and I'm seriously considering to put the RedBull above). Enough of being disappointed though now to the actual car. The red fade in the back is really nice but could have been the slightest but smoother, otherwise it's a really nice car (apart from the green). I'd say hgn red car sexy but the green reminds me of Shrek so no thanks.

8. Red Bull: 5 soda cans/10

Same as last year minus the Aston Martin sponsor. No surprises here the livery works like that the navy blue looks as good as always. 5 points for consistency

9. Williams: ???/10

I drafted this post and put Williams in 9th before they revealed their car and now I know why. It's just??? I am confusion. Okay the car looks neat if you cover the rear and just look at the front part but otherwise? I don't know if it's the render pictures again that makes it look weird but something is not right. The numbers remind me of my mom's alarm clock that keeps blaring at 5:30 AM. The whole thing looks like one of those liveries you get in the F1 game.

Bonus: The only Haas livery I accept this year by @sadwolvs trans rights/10

Absolutely beautiful. The pink is bright and and catches my eye. I'm in love I want to see this on track, she would easily put everyone else in her shadow.

#f1 #formula one #f1 cars #rating the cars #don't take this too seriously #long post

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lestappener · 3 years

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3 & 15 & 21 :)))

Thank youuuuu ❤️

3. Which driver do you support now?

My faves are Charles and Max so I won't list the entire grid but I'm happy for most of them

15. Who has the best moves (overtaking)?

I think from the current grid it's Alonso or Max (we don't see that much overtaking from him now that he's at the top but I remember his Toro Rosso days).

21. What would be your ideal 2022 line up? (All teams)

First of all, we're throwing realism out the window here okay? Good, now, hear me out:

Mercedes - Lewis Hamilton, George Russell (in all honesty I want Lewis to retire but not before Max & Charles both take a title from him & we got to see George as his teammate)

Ferrari - Charles Leclerc, Carlos Sainz (I think they're a great duo and Mick isn't ready for Ferrari yet)

Red Bull - Max Verstappen, Pierre Gasly (I KNOW I KNOW but I think it'd be sexy if Pierre could fight for wins and podiums and this the only way to get the ultimate comback story)

McLaren - Lando Norris, Callum Ilott (fuck Ferrari he's British give him the seat)

Alpine - Fernando Alonso, Oscar Piastri (im biased and I'll never get tired of seeing Fernando race, I think Oscar could really benefit from having a season alongside Fernando rather than jumping after he's gone)

Aston Martin - Lance Stroll, Sebastian Vettel (i don't mind this duo and I don't care for this team so)

Alpha Tauri - Juri Vips, Alex Albon

Alfa Romeo - Robert Shwartzman, Antonio Giovinazzi (Kimi is likely to retire this year even tho I'll cry but if anyone can have his seat is my fave F2 boy)

Williams - Dan Ticktum, Valtteri Bottas

Haas - Mick Schumacher, Kevin Magnussen ( I miss him)

#asks #ask games #f1 ask game #thank youuu <3

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fullwets · 4 years

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every hybrid era team’s best racing overalls PART 1

this got way out of hand. stay tuned for part 2 aka the teams you’ll actually know

Toro Rosso/AlphaTauri: 2015

i’ll get this one out of the way right off the bat. these suits FUCK. the large red logo under the bulls somehow just.. completes this look. the back view is actually from 2016 cuz i couldn’t find a pic from 2015 altho afaik they’re the same just without the cespa logo. but god. has there ever been a better f1 overall in the history of the sport? No. society peaked here, with the twink wunderkinds and their floppy hair and their sexy, sexy overalls.

Haas: 2020

they never change their livery bc they know they’re winning the game. Haas’ overalls always fuck and we’re all just too scared to admit it. we don’t talk about 2019 it didn’t happen. I ALMOST picked their debut suits from 2014 which were gray instead of black but i think they’ve peaked this season with the white accents & their triumphant return to the black and red. also peep that side triangle in the ass shot

Sauber/Alfa Romeo: 2018

if we’re separating alfa & sauber, then the 2015 sauber gets rights. But I have to say, having two supermodels wearing your overalls really does just put it over the top. and the collar! These overalls are maybe the second sexiest, after STR. They’re gorgeous, mostly white, with a tasteful logo and a very nice dark red. Ce magnifique. I feel like i really don’t have to justify this the pic speaks for itself

Force India: 2015

i miss this color scheme SO much. God, I’m a sucker for alpinestars suits w their little shoulder caps, and there has been no better color combo for that style than the black/orange/green of the force indias. the logos also complement the colors/accents v nicely. pure sex & they suited the driver line up very well.

Manor/Marussia: 2014

there’s something to be said for the red on white bold stripe look. It’s like this year’s Alfa suits but more sophisticated & refined. marussia may have been the ultimate backmarkers before becoming manor and then going bankrupt but at least they looked classy while doing it. also RIP jules </3

Lotus: 2014

these are like a prototype of the old Toro Rosso overalls, with the saturation cranked up. and yet i kinda feel like they missed the mark? Also what a chaotic lineup. They only scored ten points that year & they had 11 DNFs. they get points for the gold color of the stripes & the fact that they’re alpine stars

Caterham: 2014

caterham only lasted one year in the hybrid era but i like the forest green. NOT a fan of the GE logo what a boring centerpiece, however the script down the leg is Very Nice. I think we should have a green team on the grid again *eyes aston martin* PLEASE come thru

edit: PART 2 HERE!

#more opinions!! perhaps even more niche than last time!#my shit #f1 #toro rosso #haas #alfa romeo #force india #lotus #manor marussia #caterham #this is.... my magnum opus

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speedyseastars · 3 years

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Ranking F1 2021 Liveries

Decided leave this until after testing because the cars look best on track. So here is my opinion of the liveries, testing results are being disregarded. The bonus points do not count towards the score.

Alpine: 1000/10 Bonus Points: 0 because I only like the livery Alpine is the hot girl. The blue chrome is so bright, so beautiful, so stunning. I am in love with this car. Dare I say it she is sexy. I am in love with this car. Yeah she’s kind of ‘fat’ but just look at her... she’s pretty. This is how you do a flag livery.

Mclaren: 11/10 Bonus Points: 5 for the launch, 3 for Daniel, 4 for Lando 2020 livery but improved slightly. There is nothing about this livery that I dislike, I like all of it. The orange sparks joy, the rainbow sparks joy, in a world of cars that all look very similar this bright livery stands out and makes me happy. The blue is a beautiful shade, sponsor logos are well placed, no matter the tyre type they look good with the car. It’s perfect.

Red Bull: 10/10 Bonus Points: -1 for using the 2020 car, -1 for no camobull The RBR livery is iconic, they make matte paint work, and I will never complain about them not changing the livery. That being said I miss the days when they did camobull liveries just for a bit of fun. I do not see the point in them changing the livery when it is so timeless and recognisable, maintaining a brand and being easily identifiable is important.

Aston Martin: 8/10 Bonus Points: 5 for Seb and Lance Classy, elegant, sexy. The pink and green work so well together, it has a modern interior design feel to it. I had higher expectations for something less simple but I do love the car a lot already. That being said I think it’s got too much blue undertones, at times it looks more sea green than racing green.

Williams: 7/10 Bonus Points: 3 because someone hacked their app (sad) Why don’t people like this? It’s fun and different. If there wasn’t so many other blue cars it would stand out. ‘Video game livery’ and??? it look good why does it matter if it looks pullled from F1 2020, we are in the age of gaming embrace it.

Mercedes: 6/10 Bonus Points: 20 million for Sir Lewis Downgrade from last year but still so fucking hot. The AMG thing is a bit messy but I get it (everyone except me and Valtteri seems to forget it’s Mercedes AMG) HOWEVER that does not excuse it being ugly, the rear end of the car is just not a good look. The car is so shiny you could use it as a mirror so they do redeem themselves.

Alpha Tauri: 6/10 Bonus Points: 5 for Yuki (short representation!) Serious downgrade from last year. Really do think the blue and white should swap places. It’s not ugly, just a bit disappointing. My opinion changed over testing, the livery is nice it just looked really bad in the launch but I still like last year’s design more and it’s just in that weird space of ;could be better but I like it’ now so maybe it’ll grow on me throughout the season. And I still kind of miss the bright and shiny Toro Rosso.

Alfa Romeo: 6/10 Bonus Points: 0 because I forget they exist Did I forget they even had a car launch? Yes. The car is very nice, but in certain lights the red just looks really weird. Did anyone tell them you can’t read the numbers at certain angles where the number should be readable?

Ferrari: 5/10 Bonus Points: 10 for Charles and Carlos Bright green on a red car... okay Ferrari you got people talking about your ‘totally not tobacco’ sponsor but it messes with my eyes when I look at it. The gradient on the rear is pretty, but I feel it’s too sudden it needs to be dragged out more. That being said it’s a very lovely colour oh no ferrari is making me like red. Yes the photo is different I wanted to use a Charles photo and I liked this one.

Haas: 0/10 Bonus Points: 10 for Mick (he deserves better this is unfair), -1000000 for everything else The design itself is not that bad. Simple and vintage. But the symbolism of the livery, it’s just a glaring reminder of what the team has become, of the fact that you know who is driving that car. I actually feel so bad for Mick and hope he gets out of there soon. Also how is it allowed to have Russian flags everywhere? No photo because I can’t bring myself to look at the car without crying.

#f1 #watch no one care about this idc it's just for fun and personal reasons #also i need to write to maintain my literacy #mai.txt

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