#bc this is basically how I’ve been feeling everyday

[dreamgrlarchive]

Dear dream girl, I really want to be my dream girl but I don’t know where to start. I feel unmotivated most of the time and I only get a burst of motivation at like 3 am. I just what to glow and radiate good energy for myself and find/do what I like

Oh, So You Wanna Be a Dream Girl? 🎀

starting your dream girl journey

Congrats on choosing yourself and your tiara; I am so proud. Prepare to not be liked, to be judged, and to stand out. It’s lonely at the top.

*this guide is for starting the process, not reaching the end result because my version of my own dream girl is inevitably different than yours. bare in mind i’m not holding your hand. i’m nudging you in a good direction.

what is a dream girl?

a dream girl is a girl that has finally fallen in love with who she sees in the mirror. she’s the girl that she can depend on. she has her desired look and she’s on the path to self actualization actively. she’s aware of her branding. she holds herself to the standards she holds other to; and they are HIGH. her self worth isn’t contingent upon a love interest, amount of money, or social status. she’s simply that girl.

do some healing.

yes, i said it. healing. like i’ve said before, you cannot put glitter on literal garbage. that’s not even the slightest bit appealing. you’re gonna journal about your childhood, your biggest influences in life, your biggest fears and how you feel life has treated you. this calls for shadow work. shadow working really helped me figure out some of my toxic traits and how some of the things that were considered normal to me as a child have affected me in the long run. you’re also gonna write hypothetical letters to your loved (and not-so-loved) ones, including yourself. let it all out. say everything you want that person to know. around you or not, dead or alive. prepare to clam up, cry, get angry, feel anxious. good. you should. you feel clammy, hot and sometimes pain when your body is fighting off and healing from a physical sickness. now you’re dealing with the developmental, mental, and emotional parts. you’re doing yourself a disservice choosing to stay the same toxic, nasty, mean, or victimized person you’ve always been.

what do you want?

before you can start to even do the smallest improvements, you have to have a clear goal. or else you’ll just be running around in circles (heh) over grandiose blurry wishful thinking. ultimately resulting in you giving up and choosing to be basic bc it’s easier. what do you want out of life? how do you want to be treated? what do you want to do? what makes you happy? and most importantly, how do you want to feel? see, it’s more than just the frills and glitter. you have to know what you’re trying to get to, internally and externally.

grab a diary, adorn it with pretty little details and commit to it. pair it with your fav writing utensil. outline all of your goals. every single last one of them. you can categorize them, scale them from short to long term, easy to hard. it doesn’t matter. do absolutely what you want to do to make a concrete record of your goals that’s digestible for you.

what are you going to do?

*fabulosity by kimora lee simmons*

compare your dream reality to the one you’re currently experiencing. what is she doing that you aren’t? that’s it. do that. anyone can read blogs about the process and other people success stories but those posts aren’t gonna change your life unless you get up and go for what you want. i don’t know what exactly you desire out of life. you do. so you have the instructions for this journey. the first part was easy, this is simple but not nearly as effortless. it’s up to you and not anyone else. you teach others how to treat you. improvements you can make include better: hygiene, self talk/treatment, outward energy, work ethic, discipline, health, consumed content, relationships, looks, habits.

the work

it’s time to apply yourself. get up everyday and actively work towards your goal. be kind to yourself. take yourself to the doctors. get active. eat right. find your passion. DO THE HEALING.

everyone’s journey is SO different so i’m just going to do a quick rundown of the importance of each of the ten facets of your dream girl journey (that build upon each other. ie; looks do not benefit you when your hygiene is insufficient):

*these facets are loosely based on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

health - are you taking care of yourself? please treat yourself how you would your loved ones. you’ll be surprised how physical issues manifest mentally, and vice versa. get adequate sleep. take baby steps if need be. some of these adjustments may be huge to you. be gracious with your journey.

consumed content - everything you engage in is your diet. the company you keep, food you eat, music you enjoy. you get the idea. do you feel light and ready to take on the day? or do you feel drained and sick more often than not. make some adjustments wherever you see necessary.

hygiene - extremely important. stick to a routine for your hygienic needs. you should have rituals you engage in everyday. don’t forget that your health and hygiene go hand in hand. oral and feminine hygiene is so crazily important. please don’t neglect yourself. i talk about my routines in detail here.

habits - daily habits are so crucial to your lifestyle. adjust these and consciously break your bad habits by supplementing your life with equal and opposite habits.

self talk/treatment - simple. be kind to yourself. hold yourself accountable for flaws and mistakes while loving yourself enough to be patient with the journey of improving.

outward energy - be very aware of the vibes you’re permeating. again this is so a huge determination of how you will be treated and how you will live your life.

work ethic/discipline - it’s gonna take serious accountability to escape the desire to stay comfortable. you have to tell yourself that you deserve *your desired end result* so you will *make specific change/adjustment.* it’s that simple (again simple doesn’t mean easy).

relationships - if you don’t like the way you’re treated by those in your life, those relationships need to be reevaluated. you can make some trims on your circle, have some honest conversations, or adjust your behaviors (because sometimes, YOU are the problem).

passion and career - in order to feel fulfilled in life, we all need a purpose. discover yours. incorporate your passion into your daily life.

looks - develop your signature and hone in on it. looks are very important to your perception (self and public). check out this guide to help with this part. however you wanna feel is how you should display yourself.

be a dream girl!

you’ve discovered all the facets of creating your dream self and reality. now it’s time to apply what you’ve learned. start showing up in life in the fashion you want to be seen in.

that’s it! the rest is up to you!

- xoxo, dreamgrlarchive 🎀

#dream girl journey #my posts #dream girl cultivation #dream girl wellness

[prettymase]

Meant To Be

NOTES: This fic is completely newly written and I haven’t written in ages but I hope this is good enough. Before you get into it I want you to know that some parts of the fic are quite personal to me and I was contemplating on whether to add or not, but I have included TW warnings. This fic had also been requested by my love @footiehoemcfc I hope you enjoy reading it babe. There will be a part two to this but I wanted to get the first part out first bc I’ve left @footiehoemcfc waiting too long for this 🫶🏼 ✨

WORD COUNT: 4.9k words

TW: mentions of car crash, drunk drivers

You promised yourself that you would never be in this situation.

This is the kind of situation you told your best friends to avoid. It’s basic girl code, telling them not to be stupid in going back to their ex. You know it never ends well. Most of the time anyways.

Most of the time they end up falling for their bullshit and then that causes them hurting even more.

You know right now, you are a dumbass.

Your relationship with Mason ended shortly after Christmas.

It’s bad enough you saw it coming but you didn’t expect it to happen quickly after Christmas as the way he broke up with you, you thought he would want to mend things. Things that haven’t been easy in your relationship the last few weeks. You thought he wanted to apologise for being a dick.

Before the World Cup, you both knew the relationship was falling short. However, you were determined to make it work. No matter how had you tried, you couldn’t afford losing him.

You tried to support him in every way possible. Travelling to Qatar, showing your moral support. You also suggested couples therapy, tried to get him to talk about his feelings he was keeping inside. And everything else that was on the list. Making you feel useless at times.

Mason however, wasn’t having any of it. He liked to feel like he could take care of himself. He knew he was pushing you away and he didn’t want to but this is what it has come to and he can’t stop himself now.

In Qatar, there wasn’t much you could do with him not being able to see everyday with the World Cup consequences. Which you understood. You tried looking at the positives, maybe time apart from you would make him realise how much he misses having you around and helping him out. You thought he would he would take his time to think about how shitty he has been with you the last couple of weeks leading up to the World Cup. To your surprise, it was the complete opposite. Mason came to the conclusion it would be better if the two of you went separate ways.

The night you two broke up, well when he broke up with you, always replayed in your head.

-

“I think we should break up,” Mason started to say, showing no emotion on his face whatsoever.

“What?” you definitely wasn’t expecting this.

He had planned a a nice romantic evening or so you thought. The dinner table was elegantly decorated, with rose petals and candles around the table, with two glasses of wine, which you dismissed because you didn’t feel like drinking.

You thought the best of things, thinking that he’d apologise for his behaviour these last couple of weeks. Instead he did all this to break up with you.

“I want you to know don’t think I don’t love you because I do, it’s just the things that’s happening this season, I can’t love you the same when I’m feeling like shit.”

“You’re having one bad season and you’re throwing me out of your life?!” You asked confusedly and annoyed. “You’ve had problems before but this was never the solution!”

“Y/N you don’t understand. This is my life, I have to try and help and the tea-”

“This is not your life!!” You snapped. “It’s what you do for a living, big difference Mason.”

‘It is now okay?! Everything else seems like a distraction!”

“I’m a distraction? Your girlfriend who has been trying to help you for weeks is a fucking distraction? Are you fucking kidding me?” That hurt. It hurt how little to no appreciation he showed for your effort. The tears that you tried to hold in just fell. Maybe it could’ve been from sadness but now you were just mad.

Mad at him.

“Baby,” he sighed trying to ease the tension. Both of you had arguements before but it was never like this. He’s now thinking of throwing the years you had together, which you thought of convincing him to not to do this but it was useless and once he makes his mind up there’s no going back.

“You have no right to call me that anymore. You’ve clearly made up your mind.” You snapped.

“I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t word that right. But you need to understand me.”

“Understand what? That your job is more important than me and everything else in your life? That all the things I’ve done for you in the past meant nothing? Our relationship was for nothing? And that I mean nothing to you?!” You managed to say In between your sobs that you have been keeping in for too long, and this was your thirteenth reason.

You couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Mason stepped closer to you and tried to hug you which you refused at first, but you always found yourself giving in, in the end. This could be your last hug ever so you wanted to treasure it. Wanted to get close to him. Wanted to smell his aftershave that was lingering on his clothes. Wanted him to run his hands up and down your back for comfort.

All for the last time.

You could feel his tears dropping on your shoulder. This couldn’t have been easy for him too. Although you know he’s doing wrong but you also know the past year hasn’t been the best for him and no matter how much this is hurting you, you also know he’s hurting too. “I’m so sorry, my love. I know you think this is easy to do but i promise you it’s not. I love you so much and if it’s meant to be I’m sure we’ll find our ways back to each other soon.” He pulled away from the hug and held the sides of your face, planting a kiss on your forehead. His lips lingering on your forehead a lot longer than anticipated which relaxed your mind for a second.

“I’m going to go gather my things and go.” You sniffled.

Mason just nodded in response and let you get to it. You go into your shared bedroom, where you gathered most of your things, one thing that made you break down instantly was your scrapbook you made for his 21st birthday. It was his first birthday you celebrated with him and it was special too, so you wanted to make it memorable. You flicked through the book where you come across the first page which was the first picture you took together, him positioned behind you, his head buried in your neck while you looked so happy. The happiest you’ve been in a long while, you forgot what that felt like.

This book was meant to be what you show your future children, but you didn’t get that far ahead. You hesitated in whether to take it or leave it with him. However you decided to take it with you as you felt like he wouldn’t look back at it.

Once you finally got your things together, you looked back at your shared room which was now Mason’s for one last time. The good times you had in there would be looked back at for sure, at least for you anyways.

Mason who was waiting for you to be done was on the sofa, his head in between in his hands. When he saw you were coming out of the room he offered to help with your luggage but you refused.

“You can stay here for a little while once you get sorted out if you want?” Mason mumbled.

“I think it’s too late for that Mase. Thank you though.” You said as you walked to the front door and remembered that his front door key was in your bag which you handed to him. There was a keyring with the photo of the two of you on there. You walked towards the door until you heard Mason speak again.

“Y/n wait a second,” you looked back at him, hoping he would say this is a mistake and he wants to start fresh with you but was that the case? Nope. “Where are you going to go? It’s late. I don’t want you wondering about at this time of night.” He asked genuinely worried for you.

But you couldn’t help but answer coldly as this wasn’t his problem anymore. You weren’t his problem anymore. “You have no right to worry about that anymore. You start your life from scratch and forget what I ever meant to you. If I ever did mean anything to you. Good luck with the future, Mase.” You choked out.

Quickly, you got out of the door but you weren’t sure how much more you could hold your tears in for. Opening the boot to put all of your things in the back before you got into the drivers seat and drove away from his house for the last time.

There was tears streaming down your face the entire journey, luckily you still had your own flat that you didn’t end up getting rid of, but it’s been a while since you been in there so it will be weird at first but you’ll have to get used to it. After all this was your life from now on.

During your journey to your now new (old) home, you looked back on all the positives that your relationship had. For example; when he took you away just because he felt like it that was also when he said ‘I love you’ for the first time and you were wondering what you did to deserve this man. Now you were wondering what you did to deserve the situation he put you in.

‘Where in the relationship did we go wrong?’ You thought. You always thought you made him happy. But clearly not if he felt like he needed to chuck you out of his life like that. You clearly weren’t as important to him as you thought you were.

When you got to your old flat, as soon as you walked through the door, it’s like you were almost looking for a feeling of home come to you. But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that it was Mason who made it feel like home. And now you had to live without him.

You had started talking to Mason in the most weird ways ever, you were going through so much at the time so him coming into your life during the most hardest times of your life you would describe it as was truly a blessing in disguise.

Let’s recap to that day..

-

It was one of those days.

One where you felt like God was never on your side, trying to understand what you did to deserve the last few days of chaos you’ve had.

Eyes closed. Trying to remain calm, steadying your mind and the pace of your breathing.

It had been a long day. You had just come back from the hospital 45 mins ago. No that wasn't your job, your mum had been admitted to hospital after having a traumatic car crash as you'd call it.

On Saturday night she was on the way back from dinner with her friends, until a drunk driver crashed into her and she remained unconscious up until Tuesday morning for a few minutes and remained unconscious again.

When you first got a call from the hospital your first instant reaction was shock and denial because as far as you'd known your mum was all about being a safe driver and she was always scolding you to drive safe. It hadn't settled in until you had seen her. All your emotions started crashing down at once.

You felt a bit helpless and guilty by not being able to do anything to help her, and you were losing hope slowly but deep inside you, you knew your mum will power through this, she's a strong woman after all. After having to raise 6 children when your father left you at a young age deciding that he wanted nothing to do with you, if she could go through that alone, you had hope that she'd get through this.

You couldn't help but feel alone. All your siblings were in their own little bubble and you didn't want to disturb them and you know that they wouldn't care because all of you were all so close but you couldn't help feel like you were burdening them.

All of you were equally upset, each one of them had their own distraction to help not think about this, but you had taken days off to visit your mum during hospital hours and just pour you heart out even though she hadn't had her eyes open you knew she could hear you.

Days prior to this, you had been struggling with your emotions already.

You had given your notice in for work because the environment was becoming so toxic and this guy at work would non stop harassing you until you couldn't take it anymore, mentally it was taking a toll on your mental health. Your ex had gotten back into contact with you repeatedly changing numbers, making different social media accounts to contact you, after numerously blocking him.

Overall you felt like crap, you didn't want to tell your friends about this because you felt like you were asking for sympathy when you didn't want that and you felt like they were all happy within their lives and you didn't want to burst that with your sad feelings.

So you just put a fake smile on your face which was believable to people, and when you were alone tears wouldn't stop flowing.

You hated yourself for not being strong enough.

The peace and quietness lasted about 2 minutes before a message came through your phone. You instantly thought it was someone from the hospital updating you about your mum but this message had confused you even further

Anna?

You most definitely weren't Anna and you most certainly didn't have a date today.

(Imagine you can see the face. Thank you😌)

It was like an addiction messaging each other, you just couldn’t stop. It was flirty banter most of time, he arranged for you to first meet him at a small cafè because he was eager to see you, and this meeting made you feel something for him, even more than you did.

The next meeting you decided to count it as a date, and ever since then you didn’t look back.

He was seriously a blessing in disguise. Your mum was getting better, you got a new job and you couldn’t be more happier that everything finally was starting to fall into place.

-

Over the months since your breakup you tried to forgive and forget; Forgive because he genuinely did have a lot going on and you also knew his passion for football and maybe you just need to find your way back to each other once the time is right. Forgetting about him and what he meant to you was the hardest thing to do.

It’s been five months now since your breakup and not a day goes by without thinking about him. You just had to remind yourself that he’s probably not thinking about you anymore and he’s probably moved on and as much you wanted him to tell you that he wanted you back probably wasn’t the case. Which hurt you deeply thinking about it but if that’s what helps you to move on then so be it.

The first month was incredibly difficult for you, wanting to text him every hour of the day to try and work things out, even though he ended it you wanted him to fight for you, you once thought you meant the whole world to him, and now acted like you were strangers.

His friends had found out about the break up and checked in on you to see how you were doing. They didn’t see it coming, especially Ben, he thought he was head over heels for you and he was always going on about how perfect his relationship is. Ben insisted on talking some sense into him but you refused, not wanting to force his way back to you, you’d much rather him come back to you when he was ready.

Whenever that was.

At this point you were starting to think that it would only happen in your dreams.

You felt a like crap and thought you were being over dramatic, thinking that Mason’s probably isn’t doing the same and moping over this, so over the next two months you tried pushing him out of your mind and start focusing on your mental health and yourself, getting your self love back.

Saffie, Libby and Imogen, who had been your support system since helped you through it and you couldn’t be more grateful. They also were shocked about the break up but as of right now you didn’t care. You had come to terms with that it wasn’t meant to be and you tried convincing yourself that you were fine with it.

When you moved in with Mason, it was difficult to see them, as they lived out of town and at the time things were just getting hectic that you didn’t have the time, even though you hadn’t seen each other for a while you had still kept each other updated on every little detail.

Tonight, you were going on a night out with your girls. It had been a while since you had a girls night and you couldn’t wait because you had missed your girls.

“Cheers!! I want to make a toast to Y/N. I want you to know that you’re the most strongest person I know and you don’t need no mannn that makes you feel like shit!!” Libby screamed through the loud music that was playing at the club, and you all took a sip of your cocktails. You promised to yourself and the girls that wouldn’t cry tonight and so far you were failing but you decided to blink the tears away and have the time of your life with your besties. It’s the least you deserved.

-

You don’t know how you got here but you’re not complaining.

You barely make it inside the house. As soon as you both are nside, you’re kissing, making out against the front door. Pushing him back, desperately wanting more, trying to suck every last drop out of the love that is still left.

You’ve missed him. Missed him so much.

“We shouldn’t do this,” Mason pants, pulling away, framing your face with his hands, and you nod.

“No, but it feels good, doesn’t it?” You say with a grin, that’s all your willpower gone out of the window.

Mason grins at you. Just like he used to; it’s just like it used to be.

“Fuck yes. Let’s go upstairs.”

You knows this will only hurt you in the morning but you can’t resist, you’ve missed him, missed how he feels, how he tastes. And all that matters right now is that your legs are wrapped around Mason’s waist and the way he groans when you push yourself into him.

Fuck, it feels good.

It’s not a long, drawn out fuck, no changing positions, no words. It’s not hasty either, but it’s desperate, both of them fighting for the perfect angle, chasing their release, needing it.

Still, it’s loving. The way Mason’s hand is in the exact right spot on your back, the way they kiss, breathlessly moaning into each others mouths. And the way they lock eyes, reading each other’s faces.

They’ve done this many times - spent so many nights entangled, making each other moan and pleasuring themselves. They know this, every part of it is familiar.

It happens too quickly, but you wouldn’t have the strength to prolong it anyways. It’s too much, there is not a single clear thought in your head as you kiss Mason through his climax.

“It will hurt more tomorrow,” Mason whispers when you pull him closer under the blanket. You know he’s not just talking about you aching. His tone is soft, laced with a shadow of a sorry, his hand gently stroking your arm, the gesture putting you to sleep.

-

When you woke up it was around four AM you weren’t surprised to find yourself sleeping next to someone but you couldn’t pinpoint on who it was as you were too drunk and didn’t remember a single thing about your one night stand as you rarely have them, silently cursing yourself for drinking too much.

This room seemed familiar to you though, you don’t know if your mind was playing tricks on you or if it was actually familiar to you. That was until the person next to you turned to face you, still asleep and you were met with none other than Mason.

You shot up at the exact second, accidentally waking up Mason doing so. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Let’s get back to sleep yeah?” Mason says in a sleepy voice but you were still in a state of shock of how this happened, you were about to reply until you turned around to face him to see him asleep again.

How did you let this happen.

You went downstairs to compose yourself with a glass of water and watched your reflection on his window.

‘You stupid idiot. Why did you do this to yourself?’ You thought. The more you thought about everything that had happened last night, how much you missed him touching you, kissing you, tears were forming because it just wasn’t fair that he was making you feel like this.

In the middle of your thoughts, Mason entered the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around your waist, buried his face in your neck, kissing it repeatedly. “Baby, why are you here? It’s 4am,” he whispered in your ear. You were just staring blankly outside at his patio, tears threatening to fall. Your lip started wobbling.

How could you be so dumb? He starts seducing you whilst drunk and it worked so easily he had you right where he wanted. You were never that girl to have one night stands, but this one felt like one because you knew what Mason’s decision was.

“Listen, you were drunk. We both had a little too much to drink. I saw you in the club alone, I don’t know where your friends were and you looked like you had a little too much to drink. I offered to take you home but you mentioned you left your keys with Imogen because you know how clumsy you can be and lose them. So I took you back to mine and I don’t know how it happened but there was sexual tension in the air and we both started kissing and one thing led to another, but I want you to know it doesn’t mean anything to me.” Mason said so confidently.

You needed a moment to hear the last sentence alone, but you wanted him to think that were coping well without him because he had moved on and somehow you needed to do the same, but after last night it’s become hard again. It’s like having sex with him has brought your feelings back again but it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t feel the same about you anymore, even though when you broke up he told you that he’ll always love you. You guessed that was lie.

You wanted it to mean something to him, you wanted him to ask for you back. You wanted him to fight for you.

Which will only happen in your dreams by the looks of it.

You wondered if he ever loved you? Now you just believed what your negative thoughts were telling you.

“I’m going to get my stuff and leave,” you said with a lump in your throat and glossy eyes.

Mason saw the expression on your face and was the sick of the sad expression you had on your face and he snapped, “Okay. Don’t expect me to stop you then. I have moved on.”

It’s like this was a different man in front of you, you don’t remember getting to know this guy, you don’t remember falling in love with him. The Mason you remember falling in love with wouldn’t let you go without a fight. You weren’t going to let him treat you like this so you snapped back. “Yeah because you sleeping with me last night really tells me that you’ve moved on doesn’t it?” You rolled your eyes.

“It was a mistake! I told you, I was drunk, you were drunk, one thing led to another and it’s a regret of mine now letting you think that you’ll ever get close to me again. Maybe, just maybe if you weren’t so needy all the damn time we could’ve given this a second chance.” Mason frustratedly said, with what he said, sounded like you hurt him, when he was the one to break up with you. It just didn’t make any sense to you.

You wished he hadn’t pushed you away. You pushed past Mason to get your things, not wanting to stay here a minute longer.

Mason stayed quiet, knowing what he said was wrong but in the heat of the moment it just came out. Once you came out of his room and got your things ready, you walked out his front door whilst he watched you leave.

-

It had been two nights since that night you encounter with Mason, you started thinking outside of box and tried moving on as he had, it was lot harder than you thought it would be. Maybe because the Mason you saw two nights ago was a completely different person in front of you.

Maybe if you went on a few dates it would help? You thought.

You never did see yourself separating from Mason, but that’s how things currently were and you had to accept that. You decided to scroll on Twitter for bit and what first came up on suggested posts surprised you a little because you weren’t expecting that when you opened the app.

To say you were more than hurt to see how he’s moved on quickly, but also you were convinced that the paparazzi make things worse from what they were. You experienced it when you were with Mason, so part of you were hoping that this girl pictured with him was just a friend but looking at the picture it was telling you something else.

You know it has been more than a few months that you’ve broken up now but a part of you wasn’t ready to let go. But you always promised yourself that if you saw Mason happy with another person you would be happy for him no matter how much it hurt you inside and you weren’t going to ruin his happiness.

That’s if this article was true.

Now you needed to move on because it seemed like Mason wasn’t going to come back to you by the looks of things and you need to accept that.

-

Mason didn’t know how to feel when the paparazzi photos came out, first of all the pictures were completely misleading to what they actually were.

He wasn’t on a date.

The only thing he was doing was playing Cupid, and setting this girl up with his mate, Ben. When Mason spotted Y/N on a night out with her friends, he was with Ben and a few of his other friends. This girl caught Ben’s attention but he was too much of a scaredy cat to go up to her. He thought he missed his chance.

That was until, the girl, Chloe, reached out to Mason on DMs and asked if they could meet to talk things through. He knew Ben wouldn’t dare to ask her outright, so they planned to call it a ‘blind date’ because Chloe actually had her eyes on Ben and it turns out that when she was about to go up to him that night he had disappeared, she couldn’t find him but she also knew Mason was good friends with Ben so she’s shooting her shot the long way.

Mason still deeply loved Y/N, he only said he moved on because he wanted Y/N think he’s doing okay without her. He really doesn’t know why he started pushing her away, and he regrets it because all he wanted know is Y/N between his arms. He would do everything for their relationship to be normal again, but instead he had to fuck it up.

Mason won’t be stupid enough to lose you again at any given chance. He was already stupid enough to know what life was like without you and he’s not risking that again.

He knew he needed to fix this.

—

taglist: @chilwellspulisic

#mason mount #mason mount x reader #mason mount fics #mason mount x oc #mason mount x you #mason mount oneshot #mason mount fic #mason mount one shot #mason mount fluff #mason mount smut #mason mount angst #mason mount x y/n #mason mount oneshots #mason mount fanfics #mason mount fanfic #mason mount imagine #mason mount imagines

[wonwoonlight]

chocolate rum cookies | jeon wonwoo

➝ Wonwoo x Reader

➝ nonidol!au // friends with benefits to ?? // fluff // ...slice of life? // angst if u squint

➝ word count: 3.5k~

➝warning: no smut scenes but there are mentions of sex and implications of it so minor dni!! mentions of alcohol, food, curses. very self indulgent bc i write this for my birthday hehe. this wonwoo made an appearance <3

➝A/N: hi. so this wasn't exactly... planned. i was just randomly sitting down with my google doc open and suddenly i finished writing... this in one day. gotta say that, when you do write for yourself, it is much easier to write and it's been quite some time since i'm actually happy with what i put out. but also just to put it out there, this fic is actually finished somewhere before february ended but i decided to post it for my birthday because i did start writing it with the thoughts 'i miss wonwoo' and 'i kinda wanna post smth on my bday' so. enjoy. i'm happy to say i'm content with how this one turns to be. here's to turning 25 lol

[✾✾✾]

You hear the door open, signalling Wonwoo’s arrival, and when you feel his presence nearby, you don’t even look up from your phone when you say, “No.”

Wonwoo smiles in amusement, irking an eyebrow as he settles next to you. “I haven’t said anything though?”

“You’re gonna ask me out again.” You roll your eyes, already used to his antics. You don’t even pretend to care about his mock heartache anymore when he clutches his chest.

You’re not sure what Jeon Wonwoo has in his mind, but he’s been asking you out on dates everytime he sees you since last month. Problem is, you see him a lot. A little hard not to with the friends with benefits situation that has been going on between you and him for the last six months.

Even right now, you’re in his place. You’ve been here since almost half an hour ago, entertaining yourself as you wait for Wonwoo to get home because he’s out when you called, and when he said you’re allowed to use the access he’s given you some time ago, you decided to barge into his place like it’s your own.

You’re practically here more often than in your own dorm, anyway.

It almost feels like a second home to you.

But you don’t want to think too much about it. Not about the fact that you have access to Wonwoo’s place. Not about the fact that you’re basically exclusive. Not about the fact that you talk to him practically everyday.

Nope.

“You don’t even pretend to consider it anymore.” He sighs, and you hate that you can’t tell if he’s joking or not. You’ve been telling him to cut it out, but it surely doesn’t look like he has any plans of listening to you. “Here, I got this for you.”

Now that catches your attention, and you actually jump a little on the sofa before you take the small package, take Wonwoo’s face in your arms, and kiss him square in the lips as a thank you.

“You won’t go on a date with me but will kiss me over some cookies. Nice,” he grumbles, though the grin blooming into his face when you pull away betrays him.

Clutching the cookie into your chest like it’s the most precious thing in the world, you regard him with stars in your eyes. “Where did you even find this? I’ve been looking for this forever and I couldn’t find it! I don’t even know the name of the shop that sells this?”

“I’m just capable like that.” He shrugs like it’s nothing, telling you he was out with a friend and the packaging looked familiar so he got it just in case. You’ve been telling him about that craving of yours, a chocolate rum cookie that some random classmate offered some time ago–one that is so good but you don’t know the brand, only remember the flavour and the packaging.

And you can’t even ask that classmate again because she was an exchange student that you’ve only spoken for a total of two times in your life, and she has returned to her country.

You don't even know her name.

“You have to tell me where you got this.” The packaging just has to be so empty; a very simple but elegant design that doesn’t state the shop’s name whatsoever.

“Mmm. Perhaps if you say yes I’ll bring you there.”

“No.”

“Hard pass then.” He chuckles and messes your hair. “Eat. I’ll buy you some more if you’re a good girl.”

The innuendo is not purposeful on his part, and it’s two seconds later that he realizes what he’s just said and he cringes so hard that you laugh, because as much as it’s physical between the two of you, Wonwoo absolutely abhors that particular… moniker. It’s always been an on-going joke between you two, and you laugh some more when his frown deepens, launching yourself into his lap and peppering kisses on his jaw.

“You want me to be one?”

“Shut up.” He grunts, though his arms wrap around your waist anyway and he bends his neck to give you more access.

“I can be if you want to, you know?” You whisper against his ear, not missing the way his hold tightens around you. You’re suddenly very aware of the fact that the only thing separating you and him is the clothes you’re wearing.

“Shut up.” He repeats and kisses you some more. When it gets almost hard to breath, he doesn’t forget to get the cookie out of your grasp and carefully places it on the coffee table before hauling you up and carrying you into his room, your squeal and laughter echoes throughout his empty apartment.

You don’t get to eat your chocolate rum cookie until later that evening, already showered and dressed in Wonwoo’s oversized hoodie as you cuddle into his chest with a movie playing in front of you.

[✾✾✾]

You don’t know what’s taking Wonwoo so long, but he’s already fifteen minutes late without any text messages so you decide you’ll just get some drink first and let loose. He’s probably going to be pissed because he’s never liked it when you go to a bar by yourself (something about men looking at what’s his, whatever that means) but whatever, it’s his fault for being late and you’re currently not relaxed enough to wait for him by yourself in a place full of people. 

The whiskey burns your throat in a pleasant way, though now that you think about it, you shouldn’t have drunk everything in one go when you still have moments to spare as you wait for Wonwoo. But, then again, you can always just order more.

You’ve never been to this bar before, but after hearing how good the vibe is from a friend, you decided to go to check it out. Clubs have never really been your style–people are way too drunk and the music is too loud.

Your friend is absolutely correct when she said you would fit right with this particular bar; there are just enough people for it to be crowded but not really crowded that you get dizzy. Plus, the music is up to your taste and you find yourself nodding to whatever’s playing in the background as you scan through the sea of people while you lean on the wooden bar.

You were just about to order again when someone joins you by the bar, a tall, handsome man that doesn’t look sleazy at first glance. And he’s offering to buy you a drink. You subtly try to check him out; this guy is definitely taller and bigger than Wonwoo, though he doesn’t look harmful and he doesn’t look like he’s hunting for prey. His smile when he offers to pay for your drink looks… honest, if anything. The guy doesn’t even look flirty. Perhaps he thinks you’re interesting and are in need of some company.

The side of your lips lift in an amused smile, Wonwoo will be pissed as fuck if he finds out, but do you care? No you don’t. You’re not going to turn down free drinks from a handsome stranger that doesn’t look dangerous.

“So how come you’re by yourself?” He bends to your height, not too close that it makes you uncomfortable, and just enough for you to hear him over the music. “I’m Mingyu, by the way.”

Hmm. Handsome and with manners.

“Why do you want to know?” You answer with a teasing smile, sipping on your cocktail. Mingyu laughs when you say you’re not telling him his name, if only because he hasn’t earned it yet, and you’re pleasantly surprised when he says it’s understandable and he’s glad you know how to play your cards. “What about you, why are you by yourself?”

“Eh. I just feel like drinking tonight and you seem to be someone who doesn’t mind talking to strangers.”

“Ouch. Is that how I look like? Easy?” You pretend to be offended, and it’s almost cute how Mingyu laughs yet again and rephrases his words. If this was you six months ago, you’d definitely flirt with him and eat up everything that comes out of his mouth, perhaps you’d even end up going back with him. The guy is handsome and you can actually hold conversations with him, which is already a very big difference compared to a lot of guys that have tried talking you up in places like this.

But alas. Your eyes twinkle as you catch the figure of the man who’s the exact reason why you’re not flirting with Mingyu making his way towards you, why you don’t feel the excitement that used to rush through your blood at times like this, and why ‘handsome’ is the only thing you think of Mingyu even though he seems much more than that.

You don’t care enough to think about Mingyu in different aspects.

The way Wonwoo immediately grabs your waist is almost funny, and you have to actually bite your lip and clutch the cocktail glass between your fingers to stop yourself from grinning. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Your boyfriend?” Mingyu asks goodnaturedly–almost concerned, even–making sure he’s not some random guy who’s grabbing you without consent. 

“Yes.” Wonwoo almost growls, and you have to plant your palm on his chest to calm him down, telling him Mingyu is harmless even though your ears are heating up from his word. You’d need to get back to that boyfriend thing later.

Mingyu sends you a look, and you’re absolutely, thoroughly would’ve swooned if you’re… uh… single (you are) and you’re not seeing… anyone (huh?). But you send him a smile, an actual smile this time, and you nod before you tell him it’s nice meeting him.

Wonwoo refuses to look at the interaction, but you can tell that he’s more relaxed than he was seconds ago and his grip on your waist is now replaced with his thumb caressing you through the material of your dress.

Would it hurt to push his button one more time?

“Hey.” You call to Mingyu once again when he’s about to leave, making both guys turn to you in confusion–Wonwoo more so in betrayal–and when you tell him you’d love to see him again someday and finally tell him your name with a wink, Mingyu gets exactly what you’re playing at. Another laugh bubbles out of his throat and he returns the gesture with a ‘have fun!’ before making his way out of your sight.

“What the fuck was that?”

It’s not often that Wonwoo curses, and you know you’ve pushed just enough of his buttons for him to react this way. If anything, though, adoration fills your chest and you have to physically hold yourself back from squeezing his cheeks.

“What? You were late and he accompanied me. Nice guy, right?” You try to play innocent, placing your glass on the bar and turning in his arm to face him. He looks especially nice today, with his hair styled a little and a denim jacket that you haven’t seen him worn before. You can feel your heartbeat picking up the longer you stare at him, and you don’t register what’s coming out of his mouth because you’re lost in your head.

Your eyes fall to his lips, and it’s when he clicks his tongue that you finally look back at him, eyes meeting his in mock innocence.

“You’re not listening to me, are you?”

You shake your head to confirm his suspicion. The guy can't even get mad at you even if he wants to.

“So.” Wonwoo raises his eyebrow in question, urging you to continue. “Boyfriend, huh?”

Wonwoo opens his mouth to say something, but you don’t give him room to talk more because you already dive into his lips, your palms on his shoulders and his arms wrap around you once again–probably muscle memory at this point. There’s no rush in this kiss though, you really just feel like kissing him and you do exactly that. Wonwoo doesn’t seem to mind either, because his lips chase yours when you’re about to pull away.

“Won I–”

“Hmm?”

“I need to–”

“Mmm.”

“Need to–”

“To what?” He finally pulls away, annoyed that you keep on trying to pull away. Even in the dim lighting of the bar, you can tell that he’s a little flushed too and there’s something about it that makes your heartbeat speed up once again. Were you two just… kissing in a public space for no reason at all?

“Need to breathe, baby.” You finish your sentence, suddenly shy now that you’re looking at each other. You dive into his neck before he catches your embarrassment though, and he simply chuckles before he takes a sip of your drink, whatever annoyance in his chest from looking at you and Mingyu, whoever that guy is, disappears just like that.

God, it’s not funny how whipped he is for you.

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing.”

“Let’s go on a date.”

“Not a chance.” You beam, though you reject him with a kiss on his cheek and you tell him to finish your drink because you don’t feel like being here anymore. You won’t let him ponder too long on your rejection though, your fingers caressing his neck and your lips finding his ear. “Actually, let’s go back to your place. I don’t have anything to do tomorrow.”

Wonwoo shudders a little at that, still not used to the way you’d get vocal about what you want when you’re tipsy. That’s your code of saying you want to have rough sex all night–or however he would have you, really.

So Wonwoo finishes your drink in one go and grabs your hand to pull you out of the bar, missing the way you exchange grins with Mingyu as you accidentally catch his eyes before you exit the place.

[✾✾✾]

“You know you’ll spend less money if you just tell me where to buy these cookies?” You pout, still trying to get it out of him.

He doesn’t relent though, simply shrugs and places your hot chocolate on the table. “I don’t mind buying you things.”

“But whyyyy.” You whine, crossing your legs to face him on the sofa.

“I told you I’d bring you there if you go on a date with me.”

You stare at him, mind wandering to how easy it is for him to say this over and over again. You still don’t know why he’s suddenly so adamant about that, and while you actually do feel butterflies in your whole body everytime he does it, sometimes you wonder if he’s just messing with you.

Does he really mean it?

But if he does, wouldn’t he eventually be done with you because you keep on rejecting him?

But if you say yes and he’s actually just joking–what does that make you?

What if you try it out and it… messes things up?

You’re happy with whatever you have with him now, and you trust each other enough to know you are exclusive. Is there really any need to put a label between you two?

“Hey, you okay?” He asks, snapping you out of your daze.

“Huh. Yeah, sorry. You were saying?”

You see the way Wonwoo presses his lips together and you can tell the gears are turning in his head. But he beats you to it before you can ask, and your heart breaks a little at how soft he sounds.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“What? No!” You sit straight, taken aback from the sudden turn of the conversation. “What makes you say that?”

Wonwoo sighs and repeats his words. But he faces you this time and, for the first time since he asked you the question he’s been asking you the past few months, it’s obvious how unsure he is, as if he’s suddenly questioning himself on what he’s been doing.

“Am I making you uncomfortable by asking you out on a date?”

“Oh… Wonwoo…” You take his hand, your desire to comfort him bigger than anything. You don’t like seeing him like this, and as much as your own thoughts have been haunting you, you suppose you do need to talk about it one way or another. “No, you’re not. But… Can I ask you something?”

He doesn’t answer, but you take the way he squeezes your hand as a ‘yes’.

“Why?”

He doesn’t seem to get your question, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean why?”

“Why do you suddenly want to date me?”

It’s almost comical the way he blinks slowly, then repeatedly, like he doesn’t get why you’d ask that. He thinks carefully before he says his next words though, and he mentally winces at what he’s about to say but there’s really no other way to say it.

“We’ve been… sleeping together for, like, six months.” He starts, and his face contorts like the words personally offend him. But the more you listen to him talk about all the things you’ve been doing the past few months, how you’re basically a couple without the title, the more you feel both warm and afraid about however this talk is going to end.

You don’t realize you’ve been holding his hand tighter, but he doesn’t say anything and you realize how protective you actually feel of Wonwoo because it doesn’t sit well with you that he seems to consider himself so small.

“It’s not… sudden. I’ve just finally gathered enough courage to ask you.”

“I’m afraid.” You throw it out there the moment you open your mouth, not sure how to tell him except to just go straight to the point.

“Of what?”

“Falling in love.” You cast your eyes down to where your hand and his are joined. “Of being attached to you.”

For a moment, the air around you seems to tense ten-fold that you’re sure you can cut through it with a knife. But when Wonwoo doesn’t say anything, you brace yourself for more honesty and continue.

“I’m… already attached to you more than I thought I could be with anyone. And it scares me sometimes. What if you leave me? I think I’d be able to cope better if you decide to end things with our current… relationship than an actual one. It scares me.”

You feel his hand letting go of yours, and you panic that he’s finally had enough, but he cups your face in his palms to calm you down, and as much as you’re anxious, you can feel yourself calming under his gaze.

“If you want me to be honest, I think I already like you more than whatever you probably feel for me.” He smiles so softly you almost cry. And when you’re about to refute his words, he gently places his finger on your lips to keep you silent. “And no, that’s not something I want to debate with you. I’m fine with liking you more. I want to like you more than you like me. Will you let me do that?”

You open your mouth to say something–anything, but nothing comes out except for your tears so you simply nod and fall into his embrace. Your tears dry up almost immediately after that, but you sniffle a little as his words echo in your mind. Wonwoo probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about, because you’ve liked him for as long as you can remember. Probably not long after you started your deal with him.

He doesn’t know how you melt every time he takes care of you. How you’d try to stay awake longer after he falls asleep after another night of passionate sex, his arm over your body and your back against his chest, just so you can pretend it’s real between you two. How you’d remind yourself that it’s not real when you wake up in his place even though you’d still drag yourself out to make breakfast for him, willing your heart to calm down when he wakes up moments later, hugging you from behind even though you tell him to move away.

You probably already love him more than he can imagine.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” You ask once you’ve calmed down, getting out of his embrace to look into his eyes.

“Nothing. Why?” He tilts his head, a little confused at the sudden change of topic.

“Let’s go on a date?” You ask shyly, though your eyes immediately cast downwards again once you realized you can’t handle looking him in the eye as you ask him this. But that’s why you missed the way his face blooms into a grin, missed the way his eyes suddenly twinkle brighter than every single star in the universe combined. “I think you promised to tell me where you buy those cookies if I go on a date with you.”

He laughs at that and throws his arms around you, so tight that it hurts a little. But you don’t say anything, happy that you’re here in his arms and a little giddy now that everything’s out of your chest.

Wonwoo pulls away and cups your face once again, then searches for something in your face before he closes his eyes and gives you the softest kiss you’ve ever experienced in your life. A promise. One that says he’s not going to leave and he’s going to try his best to remove every single doubt you have in your mind.

[✾✾✾]

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don't allow any translations or reposting of my works.

A/N 2: and for my birthday wish, hopefully i'll get to see you even once in this lifetime.

#wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo fluff #caratwritersclub #wonwoo angst #wonwoo smut #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen scenarios #seventeen au #seventeen smut #seventeen fic #wonwoo au #wonwoo oneshot #wonwoo fic #seventeen scenario #seventeen x reader #wonwoo imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen #wonwoo

[charmedreincarnation]

I’m kind of in a similar situation to your college indecisiveness post bc I want to shift but never have the time cuz all this studying. I’m really hating life rn. I’ve tried shifting a few times and managed to detach my awareness from this reality for a few minutes at a time, so i know what works for me, but I never have time to do it. I feel kind of drained that I could be achieving so much but I’m stuck not even having the time cuz I’m not smart enough to get done with all this HW fast enough

TLDR how do I be cool like you and too smart for school to be a big concern? Do I just say f**k it and do a shifting attempt when I’m supposed to be studying?

This was such a sweet ask 😭😭💖 I'm overwhelmed by the sweetness of your words, and I assure you, I'm far from being as cool as you think. In fact, I found myself facing the very same dilemma in the past! Now, I'm not sure if you're looking for some wisdom from Loa or valuable studying tips, so ill share a little bit of both? Also college-related questions/asks have been pouring in lately, so I've decided to address them all right here. I should probably just make it a post but I’ll use this ask as a reference.

Pre law perspective:

So my senior year, was when I really started my journey. It was during this time that I learned about shifting and manifesting (kind of law of attraction) so I naturally attempted everyday and had my focus to that. However, I basically spiraled into burnout and indifference towards school. Tbh It's still a mystery to me how I managed to do fine in school when I basically stopped attending classes mentally and barely did my work.

I've always had ADHD, anxiety, and procrastination issues throughout my high school years, But senior year took it to a whole new level. The boredom and disconnection from my studies were unbearable. I went through the motions, completing my homework, but for classes I didn't enjoy, I mindlessly attended without caring or understanding the material. It was a year filled with academic mediocrity, and certain subjects like AP Calculus and AP Biology, which I didn't even need for my future plans, were absolute torture.

And at the time I didn’t even fully understand what shifting was, But I clung to the notion that school no longer mattered in the grand scheme of things. Looking back, I realize it was a detrimental mentality to have for my well being. If there's one piece of advice I can offer, it's this - find a balance. Avoid burning yourself out completely, but don't neglect your mental well-being either. You are still here, whether you're shifting or not, whether you’re god or not, and whether you're actively manifesting or not. Diving deeper into a negative mental well will not benefit you in any way. Trust me, I learned this the hard way.

As my burnout intensified, I reached a point where I no longer wanted to be alive in this boring ass reality. It became so severe that I almost didn't apply to college. My entire focus was consumed by shifting, and I simply didn't care about anything else. It was my friends who came to my rescue, pushing me to apply and offering unwavering support. Without their guidance and nurturing, I honestly don't know where I would be today.

Eventually, I grew tired of being tired. I began diving into my subliminal journey, creating playlists that combined affirmations for school,success, and luck. I learned the importance of dividing my time wisely. During the second semester, I continued this approach, focusing on school-related practices during the day and dedicating my evenings to shifting attempts.

Affirmations and scripting became the root of my routine too. Miraculously, my grades improved, even when I skipped classes for an entire month or neglected to read the lectures.

I was able to graduate high school with honors, which in itself proves that success or whatever isn’t even just about being naturally "good at school." I worked smarter, not harder and knowing about manifesting really helped with that!

So I really advice you to find a balance in your journey. Don't pour all your energy into just school or just manifesting. Embrace the plethora of easy methods available - scripting, subliminals, binaural beats - and integrate them into your study routine. Make it work in your favor. Treat shifting like a cherished hobby, something that complements your academic pursuits rather than overshadowing them.

Also, set realistic standards for yourself. In high school, I used to obsess over achieving straight A's, disregarding any grade below perfection. Looking back, I realize how misplaced my priorities were. As long as you maintain a mix of A's, B's, and even a few C's, you'll be absolutely fine. Set a goal of achieving a GPA of 3.0 or whatever scale your institution uses, and celebrate every success along the way.

Loa perspective

Ok, now let's talk about the power of the Law of Assumption!

Now that I'm in a place where I give only about 20% of my time and effort to school and still do very well, I can help and reflect on my journey properly. Back in high school, like said I struggled with anxiety and ADHD, and I thought these challenges would hold me back.

Test-taking, deadlines, remembering information it all seemed overwhelming. But you know what helped me? Subliminals.

Listening to subliminals for intelligence and confidence made a significant difference in my life. They boosted my abilities and gave me the belief that I could excel academically. And that belief was everything.

As you probably know the Law of Assumption states that whatever we expect and assume to be true will become our reality. So, I decided to apply this principle to my studies. I assumed that I was capable of achieving great grades with ease. I assumed that school life would be manageable, and I would continuously improve my skills throughout the semester. I always visualized seeing As, revised my past grades, teacher giving me the grade I know I deserve no matter what.

And guess what? It worked! My mindset shifted towards greater productivity, and I started using my time more efficiently. As a result, my grades improved, and I had more time to focus on the things I genuinely enjoyed. It was a game-changer, and it accounted for about 70% of my success. Just imagine that - simply switching my mindset and accepting the positive results from my previous subliminal experiences.

I understand that college can be more stressful and demanding than high school. But it's still the same principle at play. You don't have to drastically change your study habits if you don't want to. Instead, use general resources during the day to aid your studying. And while you're at it, listen to subliminals that align with your goals. Instead of imagining and affirming to yourself that you're a failure and worrying about all the things that could go wrong, shift your focus. Imagine the grade you want, affirm and visualize that no matter what happens on your test, you'll still pass the class with flying colors. Remember, it's just one test, one assignment, and there are so many more opportunities ahead.

General school tips

* Stop checking your grades every day. Seriously, it's only stressing you out. Grades can fluctuate randomly, especially in college (and honestly, even in high school). Instead of obsessing over the numbers, focus on staying on top of your assignments. Keep up with your work, put in your best effort, and trust that alone will reflect in your grades.

* Say no to all-nighters. Trust me, reading the same material for 12 hours straight won't magically make you understand it. If something isn't clicking, it's probably an internal issue. There's no need to spend an entire night alone trying to grasp a single concept. Look for alternative resources like recap lessons on YouTube or seek help from a tutor or classmate. Remember, it's okay to acknowledge what doesn't come naturally to you and instead focus on your strengths.

* Realistically, doing your homework and attending class means you're probably not failing. Even if you're not getting the grade you want, it doesn't mean you're headed for failure. Those big tests that carry a significant weight in your grade may impact your GPA, but they don't define the trajectory of your life. Take a moment to reflect on all the times you thought a single grade would ruin everything, yet here you are, still alive and thriving. You've been through challenges before, and you're stronger than you think. Breathe, remind yourself that you're not alone in these thoughts and stresses, and keep pushing forward.

* Make friends and join class group chats. Trust me, these connections are gold. Joining group chats on platforms like GroupMe or Snapchat allows you to ask questions, collaborate on study guides, and realize that you're not alone in this journey. Even if they're not your closest friends, having a support system within your classes can make all the difference.

* Use EFT tapping for anxiety, especially before tests. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping is not only useful for Law purposes, but it can also work wonders for managing anxiety. Check out my pinned guide on how to use EFT tapping. It has personally helped me immensely, and I hope it does the same for you.

* Work smarter, not harder. The truth is, those who seem to breeze through school while partying every night still manage to graduate and pass just like everyone else. The key is finding shortcuts, utilizing the vast resources available on the internet, and working smarter, not harder. Embrace technology, explore online study tools, and leverage the power of the internet as your greatest friend in this journey.

Here are some free recourses:

Math and Science

1. MathMagic Lite: This app lets you write any mathematical expressions and various scientific symbols easily

2. Equatio: A powerful equation editor that makes it easy to create digital, accessible maths

3. Microsoft Mathematics: Can be used to write mathematical expressions, solve equations, and plot graphs

4. Desmos Scientific Calculator & Graphing Calculator: Utility apps for students and teachers for calculations and graph plotting

5. WolframAlpha: A computational search engine that can solve a wide variety of problems, especially useful for math and science

Article/Video Summarization

6. Smmry: A website that summarizes articles for you

7. TLDR This: A browser extension for quick article summarization

8. Inshorts: An app providing news in 60 words or less

9. Listenable: Converts articles into short audio files

Note-Taking

10. Evernote: A note-taking app where you can jot down thoughts, save things you find online, and even scan physical documents with your phone's camera

11. Microsoft OneNote: Allows for free-form information gathering and multi-user collaboration

12. Notion: An all-in-one workspace where you can write, plan, collaborate, and get organized

Concept Explanation

13. Khan Academy: Offers practice exercises, instructional videos, and a personalized learning dashboard that empower learners to study at their own pace in and outside of the classroom

14. Coursera: Provides universal access to the world’s best education, partnering with top universities and organizations to offer courses online

15. Complexly: A YouTube channel that produces a variety of educational content, including the series Crash Course which covers many different subjects in depth

16. citation machine: you never have to make source citations by yourself. This gives your both in test and citations for your essays and research.

Lastly I’m gonna put all the free resources most colleges offer for free!

Academic Resources

* Online Study Platforms: Websites such as Khan Academy, Coursera, and edX offer free or low-cost courses on a variety of subjects that can supplement your coursework.

* Academic Advising Centers: Most colleges have an academic advising center where students can get guidance on course selection, degree requirements, and academic planning.

* Writing Centers: Writing centers provide assistance with writing assignments, including proofreading, editing, and helping with citations.

* Library Research Databases: Your college library likely subscribes to a number of research databases (like JSTOR, EBSCO, and ProQuest) that can provide access to academic journals, books, and other resources.

2. Career Resources

* Career Centers: These centers offer career counseling, resume reviews, interview preparation, and job search assistance.

* Internship and Co-op Programs: Many colleges have programs that help students find internships or co-op positions in their field of interest.

* LinkedIn Learning: This platform offers courses on a variety of career-related topics, including networking, resume writing, and job interviewing.

3. Mental Health and Wellness Resources

* Counseling Centers: Most colleges offer free or low-cost mental health services to students, including individual therapy, group sessions, and workshops.

* Fitness Centers: Regular exercise is important for both physical and mental health. Most colleges have fitness centers that offer a variety of workout options.

* Mindfulness and Meditation Apps: Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditations that can help reduce stress and improve mental health.

4. Financial Aid Resources

* Financial Aid Office: Your college's financial aid office can provide information on scholarships, grants, work-study opportunities, and student loans.

* FAFSA: The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) is the key to accessing federal financial aid, including grants, work-https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/712878654521262080/everything-eft-tapping?source=share funds, and loans.

* Scholarship Search Engines: Websites like Fastweb and Scholarships.com can help you find scholarships that you may be eligible for.

Other questions I got

Q: How did you manifest graduating early?

A: Graduating early was always a desire deep within me. I didn't realize it was on track to manifest until I had a meeting with my advisor. Interestingly, when I found out it was happening, I wasn't as ecstatic as I thought I would be. It made me realize that desires can change as we grow and evolve. So, if something you once desired doesn't bring you the same joy anymore, it's perfectly okay. Life is all about evolving and embracing new desires.

Q: What affirmations do you use?

A: Since I had a multitude of desires in various aspects of my life, I found it tiring to have a separate affirmation for each one. So, I opted for general affirmations that encompassed all areas of my life. For example, I would affirm statements like "I am the luckiest person alive," "Everything works out my way," and "I always get my desires." These affirmations can be applied to all aspects of life, including school. The key is to find affirmations that resonate with you and create a positive mindset.

Q: How do you manage the law/shifting and school?

A: As I mentioned earlier, integration is the key! You don't have to view manifestation or shifting as something separate from your school life. Instead, incorporate these practices seamlessly into your daily routine. The goal is to make it a part of your lifestyle without feeling like it's an extra burden or sacrifice. For example, if a certain method, like wbtb lucid dreaming, is disrupting your sleep schedule, consider switching to other methods like subliminals or reality checks. You can still set intentions before going to bed, which will be effective without compromising your sleep. Find what works best for you and strike a balance between school, manifestation, and your mental health

Q: What to do if affirmations don’t work:

A:maybe you don’t think with words. I’m more of a visual person and will always believe and like images more than words. I would just imagine my grades always being an A. No matter what, no matter if I failed a test or forgot to submit a homework even if I failed everything I still got an A! If you don’t like to visualize then change your wording to how you naturally speak. Maybe you don’t even like affirmations, it’s really different for everyone.

Q:I don’t want to go to this college but I still have to apply, is that affecting living in the end:

A: nope I don’t think taking action or not taking action affects anything If you’re living in the end. Just because you apply doesn’t mean you’ll get in simply because you took the action. Do what you have to do it doesn’t matter if you’re living your 3D life but know imagination is your true reality. If you’re a billionaire and sleep in a homeless shelter that doesn’t take away from the fact you’re a billionaire. Who knows why you’re at a homeless shelter and who knows why you’re applying for college. It doesn’t dictate anything.

Q:I needed to get into the void before college but now I’m here without my dream life and I hate it. What do I do:

A: well it’s happened so take a deep breath. You can still master the void, in fact you already have you’re just being silly and want a funny humbling story. There is no better time than now to be delulu. When you’re trying to escape something and it passes accept it and make it your bitch tbh. honestly keeping busy definitely helped me in my journey anyways, but I did provide tips above so you have free time because you shouldn’t just be immersed in school. For example when I was poor, it was because I needed a humbling back story because no one likes people born into wealth. I’m assuming you still want to be in college, and yea, it’s just cool to have started from the bottom before you become that It girl. That’s your choice and your truth but now you’re done with being humble so go tap into the void.

Q: what’s your perspective on manifesting a perfect life. like nothing bad ever happens but also having a good life with just minor challenges (nothing too big) and I don’t wanna normalize suffering bc who wants to suffer?

A: ok this had a school ask but that was just the gist of it. anyways not that my opinion matters first and foremost. But I think that’s great. Who wants to suffer… exactly. You know I like being human, but I did not like my human experience before Loa. I do like challenges, I like growth, I like not being perfect, and I like being happy and getting what I want too! you can still have all those human aspects and manifest everything you desire. Mary Sues do don’t exist because humanity exists. Don’t worry about it. Your life won’t feel stagnant or unreal or something, I promise

Ok sorry this came out longer than I expected but I had a lot to say. I hope that answers all the asks I’ve been getting ! You all got this, college, your manifesting journey, your anxiety, all of it. All of your dreams & desires are within your reach (right in front of you !!!) so go for it and still live your best life <3!

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #my asks #void state #shiftblr #reality shifting #school #hot girl scholar 👩‍🏫 #college

[cultpastorkevin]

Dependent Personality Disorder, Kevin Day, & the Edgar Allan Ravens

brought to you by an ex cult pastor w/ crippling mental issues

well let’s just jump right into it ngl (also if I miss anything or forget something give me a pass I have amnesia and a one track mind so I definitely missed stuff)

Okay so the whole Ravens always have a partner, never go anywhere alone, if one fails you both pay, etc. I’ve been thinking about this for weeks and I don’t see it broken down and discussed at length enough, so imma try to do that from a mixed personal experience & psychology perspective

The fact Jean, Neil and Kevin have all stated in books and in the extra content that not having that presence next to them was devastating (much less so for Neil okay he didn’t spend fucking years there); Nora has also talked about how Ravens are basically unable to function if left alone; you can’t send them to the store alone or leave them places or expect them to be capable of completing tasks without their other half; TSC reeks of Jean having to learn how to function without a double and it’s gonna be a trainwreck for Jeremy bc how the fuck can Jean be this old and not feel able to have a room on his own anyways—

What is Dependent Personality Disorder?

The DSM-5 refers to DPD as a pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of, which leads to submissive and clinging behavior and fears of separation. It is characterized by excessive fear and anxiety. DPD begins by early adulthood, is present in a variety of contexts, and is associated with inadequate functioning. Symptoms can include anything from extreme passivity, devastation, or helplessness when relationships end; avoidance of responsibilities; and severe submission.

According to the DSM-5, the disorder is indicated by at least five of the following factors:

has difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others.

needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of their life.

has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval.

has difficulty initiating projects or doing things on their own (because of a lack of self-confidence in judgment or abilities rather than a lack of motivation or energy).

goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant.

feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of exaggerated fears of being unable to care for themselves.

urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends.

is unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of themselves.

Since I only need 5, and I don’t want to bore everyone to death, I’ll just do 5.

needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of their life

Kevin spent well, basically his entire life having everything picked out for him by others. Exy was chosen for him. Where he lived, when he slept, what he ate and when was chosen. Riko and Tetsuji dictated his every fucking step up until he left. Kevin didn’t learn anything he wasn’t supposed to learn and therefore automatically expected others to do it for him because that’s what he was taught to do. Kevin’s only skill in life is Exy, which means he doesn’t have any other skills (well he does, he just doesn’t think they’re useful or important). Ravens are taught to be dependent on each other because without each other, they’re not whole or a person; they’re dehumanized until they begin to assign responsibility to someone they think is more equipped for it, is better for it, which is usually an authority figure (in this case, those figures are Riko and Tetsuji). Tetsuji knew exactly what he was doing by creating the psychological mindfuck of an inter-dependent group that is the Ravens. He took a bunch of young adults, gave them a god, and then helped that god beat them into numb dissociation until they couldn’t think for themselves and were even afraid to.

has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval

Reminder that DPD is prevalent in people who have been excessively abused and it’s also characterized by extreme anxiety. For people like Kevin and the Ravens, expressing anything other than what Riko and Tetsuji wanted could get them killed; it wasn’t just about being terrified of disapproval or protection, it was because losing anything from the group meant you were gonna get hurt (usually badly). Jean was literally waterboarded for shits and giggles, you think Riko is gonna take someone saying no very well (Neil Josten drove him insane I can tell u that much)? Ravens have a hive mind mentality because a hive mind keeps them alive and safe. Kevin had a hive mind when he was with Riko, and I’d argue he still had the remnants of one when he was with the Foxes. Riko breaking his hand was the only thing that broke him out of it, and even then, it barely did. Kevin only started mouthing off to Riko when Neil (bless his scrungly ass) started shaking Riko’s brain like a maraca. He had someone he could depend on in those situations because, again, Ravens always do things together. Kevin wouldn’t fucking dream of shitting on Riko at Kathy’s show by himself. Kevin spent 10+ years at Evermore with his sanity hanging on the hook of a batshit adoptive brother whose approval or disapproval would dictate if he was allowed to sleep. So yeah, I’d say Kevin had a violent need to always express agreement and do everything Riko wanted whether he liked it or not because the anxiety and terror of not doing so outweighed any sense of self preservation he could have. That ties in w the next one.

goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant

Riko utilized abuse in a lot of ways; Nora put in her extra content that he had other Ravens rape Jean; imo, those Ravens most likely didn’t fucking want to, but going to excessive lengths to stay within his approval and be safe? Yeah, they were gonna do it. Tetsuji and Riko also make the Ravens never miss practice or any other shit they want them to do, regardless of the state they’re in. Which means you’re going to practice when you’ve been raped the night before; it means you’re going to practice after getting butchered all night by your other half, etc. Anyways; when Kevin works with the Foxes, he repeatedly does the opposite and basically throws a fit if someone steps on court that isn’t in shape to. This begs the eye raiser that he didn’t want those things happening at Evermore, but he did them anyways because his need for approval and the anxiety of not doing so, outweighed the fact he hated doing it. He was so dependent on Riko and staying close that he was pretty willing to toss anyone and everyone under the bus to meet expectations even if they left a nauseating pit in his stomach. Doing unpleasant things for the person you’re attached to is hard, but their praise and approval after the actions erase all previous anxieties, which then fuels a broken cycle of seeking out that approval and continuing to engage in unpleasant actions out of fear of not recieving that pending approval afterwards. It’s hard to explain succinctly the mindfuck DPD causes your thoughts to be like when you have it.

urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends

Kevin lost Riko. You know what he gets next? Fucking Andrew. I don’t even know if I need to explain this one because Kevin’s dependency on Andrew is so prevalent and excruciatingly obvious throughout the whole series lmao. Kevin ain’t gonna admit it but he relies on Andrew like a starving man relies on garbage (no offense Andrew). Kevin’s duo dependency with Riko was shattered to its core and guess what idiot he latches onto to fill the void? Andrew ofc. I think out of everyone, Andrew is probably the healthiest until Neil comes along (still think it should’ve been a polycule but I digress).

Riko’s obsessiveness and possessiveness with Kevin was crippling to Kevin and left him without the ability to exist without a buffer. Andrew’s apathetic ass and explicit understanding of consent is needed to balance out Riko’s emotional instability and disregard for Kevin’s autonomy. I would go so far as to say it was dependency that forced Kevin to become more independent because Andrew wasn’t going to sit on his ass and wait for Kevin to figure it out or heal. Kevin only struggled into some form of functionality out of what I personally see as a crippling people pleasing need to be useful and that came from being dependent on those around him. He became semi functional (I use this so vaguely bc that man would not be functional in the real world) out of necessity and obligation to those around him, not because he actually healed or processed his shit.

Ignoring your own issues to meet expectations of the one(s) you’re dependent on is stereotypical avoidance and signs of people pleasing and also it’s a trauma response. Kevin quite literally just went “yeah well I have some problems but I’m going to push those aside bc nothing else matters besides Exy” and then proceeded for the entire series to use Exy, Neil, and Andrew as ways to try to avoid his trauma history. He’s kinda insane for that but also I get it, because placing your trauma lower than something else and then in turn obsessing over something or someone helps you compartmentalize and pseudo-function until you eventually snap and have a massive meltdown. Another thing is that when you’re living in an abusive environment you can’t afford those meltdowns. I like think that after all the shit happened in AFTG, Kevin just lost his shit for a period of time because it’s a very reasonable trauma response in victims for once you’re finally safe, you just shatter from all the pressure you’ve been avoiding in yourself. It’s only after you shatter that you can heal, and you can’t do that unless you’re in a space that you’re allowed to. And Tetsuji kept his Ravens in a headspace where they couldn’t.

feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of exaggerated fears of being unable to care for themselves

Ngl I’ve kinda already covered aspects of this but I just wanna reiterate what Nora said abt this specifically in her extra content that “Kevin is the one who warns Jeremy he (Jean) cannot go anywhere alone, “we Ravens don’t know how” and “Being able to go to class or the grocery store or the gym without any of his teammates in attendance is just—unfathomable” in regards to Jean Moreau’s transition into the Trojans. This is just kinda, explanatory. We’re talking about college age athletes who have been hazed and abused so much that the idea of going to a class alone isn’t even a concept to them; Kevin explicitly tells Jeremy that Ravens don’t know how to do things. They’re dependent on each other. Kevin is not only speaking to help Jean, but when he says “us Ravens” he’s including himself in that statement because he can’t either and he knows how hard it is to try to acclimate to suddenly being thrust into individuality when you haven’t had it in years. Unlike most of the Ravens, Kevin and Riko (and eventually Jean as well) grew up having that inter dependency made into a core personality trait. They hate each other and they love each other, their failures and wins depend on each other, one can’t breathe without the other suffering for it. At what point does trained and conditioned, and ultimately encouraged, dependent behavior turn into brainwashing and dehumanization until there’s nothing left of you but the one you’re dependent on?

Finally

I’m not saying Kevin Day or all of the Ravens have DPD; but what I am saying is that they have extreme traits at the least of it and it is entirely fucking reasonable to me that at least a few of them ended up with DPD or similar disorders because of the shit that happened to them in the Nest. People forget that trauma and adverse circumstances (especially from young ages like Kevin and Riko and Jean) can cause you to develop disorders or even mimic symptoms of disorders because those traumatic events caused reactions that are disordered behaviors. I feel if anything is to be nitpicked, it’s Kevin’s absolute bitchiness, because god he can be an asshole, and someone somewhere could argue because he has that antagonistic streak, DPD is entirely out of the question.

Unfortunately, the dichotomy exists of knowing when you can be bitchy and maintain submissiveness. Kevin probably learned where and when and to what extent he could tow that line when he lived in the Nest, whether it was taking out his anger and his anguish on other Ravens, on the court, or on the Foxes when he moved over. In my experience, my own explosive anger issues had to be portioned out, I had to know who I could do that to, be like that with. When and where was the correct time to lash out and when I was gonna get hit for it. Kevin isn’t stupid, he knew what Riko and Tetsuji were like. He also knew he had the upper hand in the power dynamic over the Raven’s on court. If he went for blood out of anger during practice, triggered by if Riko hurt him too much or took too much from him, other Ravens just had to take it, or worse, probably were encouraged to encourage the brutality.

All in all, I think Tetsuji created an absolute fucking labyrinth of a psychological warzone that both forced submission and rewarded dominance; it left lasting behavioral traits and triggered disorders that crippled Ravens, some for their entire lives. I wanna bet probably no former Raven went to therapy; the ones that got divvied up after the Nest closed probably were required to by their new teams, and they probably are the only generation that maybe were able to heal from it. In the extra content, Thea decided because Kevin could play again, “no harm no foul” on Riko’s end. If that’s not hivemind, culty, worshipper behavior, idk what is. That’s not a normal reaction, but it is a conditioned one.

#aftg #this is what I use my psychology major on #kevin day #riko moriyama #jean moreau #edgar allan ravens #this might’ve been a little bit of projection #all for the game #evermore #the foxes #palmetto state foxes #but also have you fucking seen kevin #that man is fucked up in a psych ward kinda way #the ravens deserve intensive therapy #the sunshine court #if you think I’m wrong that’s fine but I don’t care #character study #kevin day character study #psycho analysis of aftg #cult stuff #dependent personality disorder #andrew minyard #neil josten #cultpastorkevin

[toasty-melons]

abby comforting reader who has a bad relationship with their mom? i need her comfort n to tell me that i’m not my mom cause i’m having a whole ass breakdown n need abs to hold me

honestly darling me too.. i’m so so so sorry i took this long to get to your request, but it’s been sitting my drafts for a while (bc i’ve been a bit insecure abt posting it)

if there’s grammar errors squint bc i’m not rereading this

Here you are.. Sitting in your car for the past 20 minutes, trying to get your tears to stop. You don’t want Abby to see you cry, even if she already knows about the relationship you have with your mom.

But Abby’s never seen you cry over it before. Never. Not once.

You’ve always made absolute sure that your tears are either spilled in the shower or in bed after Abs has fallen asleep.

But the stresses from the past week have built up. Your work being especially exhausting, your mom getting in touch with you to basically just make you feel bad about yourself, and then today. You had an argument with your dad, that ended with him mumbling something about how ‘you’re just like your goddamn mother.’ And it hurt.

Your mother is terrible. She’s mean, manipulative, inconsiderate, hateful, disrespectful, vindictive, etc. She’s just a terrible person. And you’ve always told yourself you’ll never be like her.

The sounds of light rain hitting the windshield having you cursing under your breath. After wiping your tears and fixing yourself up in the rear view mirror, you gather your things and make your way inside your shared home.

After closing the door and kicking off your shoes, your hit with the smell of Abby’s cooking. And then the thought of someone loving you and taking care of you like Abby does, makes you think you don’t deserve it. What if you are like your mother? Abby doesn’t deserve that. The tears start to well in your eyes once again, so you lean your head back to keep the from falling. Placing your hands on your hips and sniffling to keep it together.

“Babe? You home?” Fuck. Abby’s sweet voice makes the tears finally fall. Your body knowing that all you want is her to wrap you in her arms and kiss the tears away.

Scrunching your face and taking a deep breath, you brace yourself as Abby walks around the corner a smile plastered on her face but soon wiped away. Concern furrows in her features as she slowly approaches you.

“What’s wrong?” Her words are soft, almost whispered, as she gently removes your hands from their place on your hips and pulls you into her broad chest. “Are you hurt?” The shake of your head puts Abby at some ease, knowing that you’re physically okay. She nods and runs her hands up and down your back slowly and soothingly.

After a few moments of silence, other than your sniffles and hiccups, she speaks up again. “Can you tell me what happened?” You peak up at her through your wet lashes, tears still spilling down your cheeks. Abby chuckles and coos a sweet, ‘awww babyyyy,’ while softly wiping your tears away.

Pouting you try to tell her what happened, hiccuping after almost every word. “My- *hiccup* mom gave- *hiccup* me- *hiccup*..” Having trouble understanding you Abby shushes you and rubs her thumbs over your cheeks.

“Hey hey.. deep breaths sweet girl.. There ya go, just like that.” Listening to her and taking a few deep staggered breaths, you lean into her touch. “Now start over and take your time.” Abby’s little smile warms your heart. Nodding you try and start again.

“My mom gave me a hard time this week. And work has sucked basically everyday, and- and.. and then my dad.” The mere mention of your dad has a lump forming in your throat again. Abby’s soft touches against your cheek has you swallowing it down and exhaling harshly. “And my dad and I got into a fight today.. and he said I was just like my mom.” Watching Abby’s face contort into confusion and slight agitation has your stomach dropping.

“He said what?” Her tone is not as sweet as it was moments before. But from the way your lip quivers and tears well up again, Abby quickly softens and shakes her head. Pulling you back into her chest before speaking again, “You, my sweet girl, are nothing like your mother. You hear me?”

Sniffling, you quietly mumble against her, “but what if I am-..” She cuts you off with the click of her tongue before you can finish. “But Abby-..”

“No.. You are so good. So kind and gentle. You’re caring, compassionate, and warm-hearted. Baby.. you are such a good person I don’t know what I would be like without you, but I know I wouldn’t be this good.” Squeezing you in her arms, she presses kisses to your forehead and whispers a soft ‘I love you.’

You push your face further into her chest and mumble, “I don’t deserve you.” You can feel her shake her head before she whispers to you,

“You deserve everything and more.”

#abby anderson #abbyanderson #abby tlou #abby tlou2 #abby the last of us #abby the last of us 2 #abby anderson tlou #abby anderson tlou2 #abby anderson the last of us #abby anderson the last of us 2 #abby anderson x fem!reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x fem reader #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x y/n #abby x you

[self-spaghettification]

ok so i accidentally deleted the draft but a while back an anon asked me basically saying they had read Gone (are the Days) and wanted other good fanfic recs. and this was my response LMAO

hmm !! this may surprise you but i actually don’t consume that much fanfic. partially because i’m picky, partially bc i tend to consume content slowly or bounce around a lot, etc

i will say a general tip is to sort by bookmarks or kudos to get the good stuff and filter by specific tags as well! like i just read mage pride which is the top bookmarked item in the viravos tag and it was definitely worth the hype!!

if you enjoyed gone are the days,

you’d probably like the Professor Next Door by detectiphoenix (also a professor au but high school teachers!) besides that, here are some viravos fanfic i’ve enjoyed, off the top of my head:

(for context i’m not hyper into smut personally or try to find variety/creativity and i’m biased towards certain things lol but)

VIRAVOS FICS I LOVED <3

Mage Pride by luminiex - This is the top bookmarked fic in the viravos tag, and for good reason! While it is written after S2 and has more sympathetic Aaravos than in canon, it is still very well done in my opinion. I also love whatever it takes by them, it’s great if you don’t like smut too! Aaravos and Viren living together in this plane together lives rent free in my head 😭 I also love their fic where Aaravos gets to meet Viren’s family :)

Recidivism by indefensibleselfindulgence/ @iamalivenow - the viren characterization is everything, it takes place in s2 prison era, and it’s very humorous!

The Sound of His Voice by portmanteau_press - very very cool setup/worldbuilding concept i think

Constellation of the Heart by @yurayuramiharin - This fic is one of my absolute favorites and has inspired some of the art I’ve done as well! As someone who loves vintage & goth subculture & IS a baby bat in college I feel like I resonate with it really well! I love the taking of the worldbuilding of the dragon prince recontextualized in a college setting and the way Aaravos was actually an inspiration for Bowie & caused Viren to question his sexuality!! It’s so deliciously perfect but sadly unfinished, but I would say it’s still definitely worth the read! It doesn’t really end on a cliffhanger either, just one of the best burns ever 😁

Touch of a Star by @detectiphoenix - really unique take on what it’s like to touch Aaravos, I adore it sm and think about it everyday too. Fluffy S5 extrapolation/continuation

To Serve or Slaughter by beastlybrooke - viravos recontextualized as vampires like castlevania my other recent fixation? sign me up. it’s interesting how viren’s prejudice towards elves is recast as a prejudice towards vampires, and aaravos’s fight towards the elves and view towards humans i love it everything

honorary mention ficlets:

the stars they lie by rikku - this is short but i really like the way they incorporate virrow and mindgames, as well as enby aaravos :)

Checkmate by @thrandilf is also short and sweet but i adore it, i think about the alternate versions of the s5 trailer sm and even tried writing my own a few times but they never went that far but yeah i love it and they have other fics that are great too

respect his decision by @vestaldestroyer because aaravos didn’t have to revive viren s4 but he did and ughgghhghh while i don’t think he cares that much cause he might have just been using the revival as a way in with claudia and continuation of all that, there’s always that off chance and he doesn’t even realize how attached he is and love is just that huge when you’re that old and powerful, large enough to move mountains and yeah </3

i’d put my own can you stay by @self-spaghettification but that’d seem a bit unfair lol

—

there’s probably others i’ve yet to read or that are cool but i don’t remember or that have some good parts but are kind of iffy imo but those are the only ones i can think of off the top of my head i’m sorry </3

but i’ve also have been compiling a list of fic ratings on a google doc and uhh its not really sharable in any way, but a while ago I also had a website concept where people could share fic ratings like goodreads but for ao3 with some other site inspo in the mix that i spent a few hours sketching out the concept of but idk if i should share but yeah :)

#q&a #fic recs #there’s also ones i loved for aaravos specifically or aaravos&callum but they don’t necessarily fit here #aaravos #viravos #edit bc i put slash before and definitely did not mean to</3 #viren #the dragon prince #self spaghettification #anonymous #asks #mine

[plotwholls]

Okay so I’ve literally been searching for two days to find this post, but I can’t, so if anyone can find me the post about the League trying to figure out how crazy Amity is, PLEASE send it my way bc jfc I hate not crediting people and this is going to GRATE ON MY NERVES. Anyway.

Basic premise is that the JL sees the town goes “uh,,, that’s sus” and decides that they can’t just bust in and try and figure out if they’re crazy. So. In order to be better accepted, what do they do?

Well, they make the worst possible decision that they didn’t know was dumb: they sent a shrink.

The principal cleared her throat. “And… you’re here to apply for our, uh… what did you say?”

“The school counsel—”

“Ah yes! That!”

Dinah tried to keep her expression neutral while she internally chanted “whatthefuck whatthefuck whattheffffuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkkkk—”

The principal seemed to chew on her apprehension for a minute before giving Dinah a wavering smile and rubber stamping it. “…You can start next Friday.”

“But it’s Saturday…? I can start Mon—”

“Thatwon’tbe—!” She cleared her throat, her smile tight, as if that could conceal her prior panic. “That… won’t be… necessary, Dr. Lance.” Principal Ishiyama gestured towards the door. “Besides. We’ll need the time to— fix up your office!”

Dinah smiled and nodded, but she noted to herself as she walked out of the reception how Ishiyama rushed to her secretary to begin whispering furiously.

Dinah saw how she was scared.

Dinah paused on the front steps, digging her phone out of her slacks’ pocket. She scrolled through her contacts for a moment before finally hitting call. She pressed the phone between her ear and shoulder as she started digging through her purse for her keys. As soon as it picked up, she announced, “Hey, babe! I got the job! I’m on the front steps of my new workplace!” She sing-songed. Oliver took the hint. “Oh? What the hell happened in forty minutes that has you calling me before you’re even in the car? Actually… wouldn’t it be twenty? Fifteen? Commute’s… what, twenty-five minutes? Still can’t believe Bat’s is putting you up in this shack—”

Dinah slipped into the drivers seat, shut and locked the car and switched her phone to the other ear. “Ishiyama was scared of me.”

“…What?” Oliver laughed a bit. “Darling, don’t get me wrong, you’re terrifying, and I love every inch of you for it, but… those are Canary vibes you’re talking about….”

Dinah turned the ignition, foot pressed hard on the breaks. “Then explain to me why I’m starting next Friday even though I told her that I was ready to start Monday— or why she jumped out of her skin when I tried to shake her hand? How about how she caved the moment I confirmed I was going for the counselor position and gave it to me without further questioning?”

Oliver got a bit more serious. “And you’re sure you were reigning in the Resting Bitch Face?”

Dinah rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m very sure that I was masking my ass off— and you know how good I am at that!”

“I know, hun,” Oliver soothes (it works, much to Dinah’s chargin and battered ego). “It’s worked on Superman and Batman. You caught your own Autism. Your mask is great, babe. Still prefer your murder vibes, though.”

Dinah grinned, her heart feeling achy and cheeks warm. “Well, yeah, that’s why I let you be my boyfriend.”

“And I thank God everyday you knocked some sense into my dumb ass— how about you go get us some safe foods and I’ll pull out the case packs again— we’ll try and figure out what’s going on, alright?”

Dinah smiled softly, her grip on the steering wheel softening, too. “Yeah, alright— when’s Roy gonna get here?” Dinah checked over her shoulder as she threw on her blinker. She turned back. “He should be up to date on anything we find.”

“He’s getting in later tonight,” Oliver told her, “and he’ll have already of eaten, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

Dinah smiled. “You’re so awesome.”

“I’ll try not to get a big head, but given how often you give out praise, that’s gonna be hard….”

Dinah laughed at the overly dramatic woe. She loved that about him— how he made her laugh like she was six again. “Okay, okay— I need to go, I’m driving— text me anything you want. Ask Roy, too.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll get started on the files, too, alright? Because that wasn’t ego stroking; she shouldn’t have been scared unless she knew who you were and she did something horrible.”

Dinah smiled like she was chocolate under a heat lamp. “Okay.” God, she hopes he can’t hear her freaking heart eyes.

“Okay,” He laughs. “I’m gonna go. I still have a sofa to get through this door.”

She laughs as she takes her turn. “Alright— be safe.”

“You, too. Love you.”

“Not quite there yet,” She tells him, still melting, “but I think I’m getting there.”

“Take all the time in the universe. Bye.”

“Bye.” God, that man makes her soft. Dinah screams a little in the back of her throat, wanting to thrash a bit (but that’s dangerous, so she’ll settle on the screaming).

(She’s going to need to send Batman a gift basket for this— a way for her to bond with her boyfriend’s son, make him feel validated, and let her manage some distance from her relationship to try and figure her head out? He’s getting a basket like none other. She’s gonna dig up Grandma’s cookie-brownie recipe and make him a butt-ton. And then she’s going to send the recipe to Agent A. …and so maybe she’s going to slip in a book on autism (because there’s no way he’s neurotypical) in there, too, but who’s gonna know, huh?)

Dinah floated through parking, and starting her walk to the store, but the floating quickly shifted into a mask as phones started going off in waves— all of them with the same ringtone, which would make others (strangers, from what she could tell) lean over to look at their neighbor’s phones once they realized it wasn’t theirs.

…And slowly, one by one, they began to turn to her. Dinah saw a lot of things on their faces. She faked a happy little twirl to get a look behind her, too.

Fear. Trepidation. Horror.

The most common one was what most would call a “threat,” but Dinah had always been one for specific language, and these looks weren’t threats.

They were promises.

They were swears upon their loved ones’ graves and everything they held dear.

They were telling her a very simple story with a very stony set of the face: “fuck this up, and you won’t live to fuck it up again. We won’t let you.”

Most importantly, it gave up that tiny little detail that made the puzzle fit. With a slightly more real (if more feral) grin, Dinah did a happy little job as she finally stepped into the store. It was such a simple little word, especially with a three letter modifier tacked in front, but it told her so, so much. It said, “We won’t let you….”

“Not again.”

#danny phantom #dp x dc #oliver queen #dinah lance #black canary #batman

[fatuismooches]

ITS 💌 ANON!! as per usual i come to you with a headcanon at ungodly hours of the night in my time. i’ve been playing too much honkai star rail…BUT!! fluff and angst combo again 🏃 ure the best :(( pls don’t follow my example and get proper rest !! thanks for always being cool hehe

Dottore making a medicine that actually does work!! you can move around like normal, no longer as tired, and ofcourse- Dottore is thrilled. He’s done it, he kisses them and he takes reader everywhere, every single place he wanted to- he checked everything, they were fine…until suddenly, they fainted and he basically finds out that the medicine could only make everything good for a short amount of time before putting reader in the most excruciating pain possible after, so sadly, zandik curses himself and gets back to work :(( he dosent care about the sacrifices, he dosent care what he has to give and what gets taken away as long as you don’t. He’s a committed man and he’s committed for until after life. Literally will reincarnate with you if he can because he will *not* let go.

TO THE FLUFF THOUGH! zandik taking atleast 1 hour everyday to do something that you like because he realizes that you miss him (and he misses you too). At first he was wary because he wanted to ensure that he could get you cured as soon as possible, but he couldn’t handle it if you were all sad and gloomy either. He didn’t want you to think of yourself as a burden and god forbid, you try to leave again (referring to that one ask where reader leaves bc they feel like a burden,, in feel like he’s be so damn scared…even if he won’t admit it). So reading you a book? sure, just be prepared for many side comments if it’s some cheesy romance novel or him reading a textbook. Drawing? hell, he’ll draw an anatomical heart with you holding it! Cuddling? he’ll wrap you up in his fluffy coat and hug you as much as you want.

- 💌 anon

AWW ILYY 💌 ANON!! Hehe I am trying my best to go to sleep earlier... it's a work in progress. Also i feel you on the HSR brainrot but I'm TBL 57, have no good artifacts since I haven't farmed, and stuck on the deer boss fight 💀 i gotta get on the grind soon 😫🫠 But you better get proper rest too!!! Or else- 💖💖

NOOO THE FLUFF GETS IMMEDIATELY WIPED AWAY TO ANGST- I can't imagine the sheer happiness you two would feel. Reader, of course, would be absolutely elated and very plainly show how delighted they are. You're running, hopping, Dottore even twirls you around and you do a pretty little spin as you fall back into his arms. You're so happy, you haven't smiled or laughed this much in ages. Dottore, as usual, doesn't show nearly as much emotion as you, but don't let that fool you. Internally, he's feeling something he has never felt before, so foreign that normally he'd be trying to get rid of it but this time he knows exactly why he's having this feeling. Thrilled, excited, proud, enthusiastic, words that could not even begin to fully describe this feeling. Centuries of work finally paid off, never to have to be repeated again. To see you so purely happy, makes him look forward to things going back to how they once were. Oh, how much fun you'd have joining him as his assistant again. The whole atmosphere and feelings of the clones in the lab are in sync for once.

Except... it all comes crashing down. Literally. When you collapse in his arms with ragged breaths, skin searing to the touch, actual tears begin to form from how badly it hurts. Immediately the mood from early deflates as he rushes to get you back to normal and ease your suffering </3 To have something he desires right in his hands, just to be snatched away from him with no warning is something he's never experienced before. He is a scholar, possibly one of the most intelligent beings in Teyvat. Such a thing shouldn't have happened to him. But it did, and he has to start over. He probably killed some people to blow off steam. No remorse. Just anger.

Sigh sigh I LOVE THIS SM. Normally, he'd scoff if it was any other activity. Especially when it's boring meetings. A whole hour? For nonsense? He finds it meaningless. His 24 hours are spent doing important things. Important things being research, experiments, notes... and you, of course. You're right, when Dottore has a goal or something he wants to reach, he just throws himself into it. No breaks, nothing, he just wants to make progress, progress, progress. Especially when it's you on the line. He'll refuse any and all contact. But he's come to realize your state deteriorates even more if your needs are not met by him. Not to mention the clones are sending messages to each other internally about how sad you are, which he decides he overhears way too frequently </3 So he knows he has to put a stop into it. (And yes, that ask was sad as hell, I still think about it 😭🥺)

Love how we agree he's a pro at drawing anatomical stuff hehe. You cut out the hearts he draws and put them on your walls or something ;( And also AHHHH THE FLUFFY COAT CUDDLING... No words can describe how much I love that scenario. It's so cute to think about both of you wearing it at the same time... you're on his lap, he's wearing the coat but it's swallowing your whole body up anyway since it's wrapped around, the fluff tickling your face!! <3 The book is in your hand, you both take turns reading it but Dottore interrupts whenever something dumb is said or done. Oh.. but you end up falling asleep since his voice is so relaxing and his chest is so comfy..

Ughhh eternal lovers with Dottore is hitting me right now ;( Especially when you talked about his commitment... hell yes this crazy doctor will not bat an eye at anyone else besides you it doesn't matter how long it's been. For you he has no limits. He always be intrigued and into this person who managed to worm their way into his cruel cold heart...

#smooches talks #💌 anon #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #💌 ANON UR MAKING ME BRAINROT ABT HIM SO BAD AHHHHH <333 #OK im taking deep breathes- anyway im hoping to get blade or kafka in hsr 💖 but im hella poor soooo

[genderkoolaid]

reading bits of julia serano's work & ill be like. i see where she's coming from on a lot of things and she has made some interesting points, i do think people should read her work as a part of trans liberatory theory. but it really feels like she's basing a lot of her opinions on trans men's experiences on her perception and less based on how WE feel about our oppression and our experiences. and part of this is also probably differences in transphobia and how trans people were treated in the past bc there has been a lot of shifting with how we are viewed by society. but i really can't help but feel that her view of transphobia towards trans men was skewed and that it has resulted in so many people taking her view of our oppression as gospel, including transmascs (especially young transmascs invested in social justice).

Like this, for example:

"A failure to distinguish between everyday sexualization and the fetish concept lies at the heart of trans dykes’ dilemma in contemporary queer women’s communities. Basically, trans men constantly complain about how they are “fetishized” by cis queer women who find them attractive and purposefully seek them out. First off, smallest violin in the world—most trans dykes would kill for that kind of appreciation from other queer women.[3] Second, it’s a total misnomer to call this “fetishization” because trans guys are generally seen as legitimate objects of desire in contemporary dyke communities, unlike trans women. ... Anyway, [the societal assumption that trans people are inherently undesirable] was the atmosphere that existed nine years ago when I first curated the “Tranny Lovers Show,” which is why cis and trans folks both appreciated it so. But in the years that followed there was a pushback, primarily from trans men who felt “fetishized” by cis dykes, and who made it impossible for cis queer women to talk about their desires without being threatened by the specter of “tranny chaser.” Conveniently for trans guys, this trend occurred after they had already been deemed to be legitimate partners in queer women’s communities. It was as if they pulled up the ladder behind them. As queer trans women, it is in our best interest for us to work to put an end to these trends. Discussions like the one we are having tonight are an important start. But honestly, in the five years that we have put on Girl Talk shows, I’m not sure that I’ve once heard anyone explicitly say, “trans women are hot.” All of us here tonight are dancing around the fetish concept—we are allowed to express romantic love and affection, but we’re all deathly afraid to say that “trans women are fucking sexy” or (god forbid) “I prefer dating trans women to cis women.” Until cis queer women can openly express such thoughts without fear of being dismissed as appropriators and fetishists, we will never see any progress."

She says that trans men complaining about feeling fetishized was "pulling the ladder up behind them", since they already had access to lesbian spaces. but there is never consideration that maybe this is an experience that transfems might not understand? like she says herself that gay men do not receive transfems like lesbians receive transmascs, that gay men at large are not interested in transfems. so she, I imagine, would not have the experience of having gay men fetishize you and your body, even if you feel you belong in the gay community (& there are transfems in the gay community, although i don't think Serano mentions them). She does not seem to believe that it is possible that trans men are telling the truth about their experiences, that cis lesbians do fetishize them and make them uncomfortable. Instead, she believes they are doing this maliciously, whining about being fetishized and therefore preventing trans lesbians from access, blaming trans men for cis women's transmisogyny.

For some reason Serano decides that because trans women do not receive love from cis lesbians, that means that the fetishization trans men experience must not be that bad– in fact, that attention is actually always good, and since transfems aren't getting any love, trans men receiving any must be better. She doesn't believe that fetishization exists at all, so the sexualizing (which she does believe in) of trans men must not exist either. Trans men shouldn't be listened to on how THEY feel about THEIR experiences.

It feels strangely hypocritical to me that so many people claim that trans men only want to talk about transmisogyny because we're "jealous" of transfems's hypervisibility, and we think it's a privilege, when Serano does not believe that trans men can face fetishization from cis lesbians and that when we say so, we must actually be complaining about something that is good.

Also, for full equality, here is her footnote for that quote:

"3. “World’s smallest violin” is a visual joke (which I did when I performed this piece) intended to express sarcastic sympathy toward somebody who you believe is unjustly or excessively complaining about something. As I state earlier in the piece, I completely understand why any given trans man might object to people who invalidate his male identity and/or sexually objectify or harass him, and I have no issues with complaints to this effect. My critique here is specifically directed at those trans men who primarily partner with cis queer women, yet who simultaneously complain when such women (in a general sense) express their interest in, or attraction toward, trans men."

edit: please think about the language you use to criticize serano & make sure you aren't accidentally falling into transmisogynist stereotypes.

edit 2: to be clear, the trans men being discussed here are willingly in lesbian spaces, as they are allowed to do. being a trans man who dates wlw does not mean fetishization is justified.

#m. #transandrophobia

[kel-lance]

Eyeless Gojo AU Part 1:

Prequel: (read here)

———Warnings: mention of death, blood, killing, morally grey, slight mind control, Gojo just reacting to his cptsd in this universe, slight grooming (adults ideals on Gojo and their children), mindbreak, yandere(?)———————-

((Ending of year 3: (the woman Geto brought in was mamagumi. Toji was a secret weapon to the Zenin clan and was highly respected. The kids are being raised together. Maki and Mai are taught new techniques while sparring against Megumi (they all have their same techniques) so they were actually going to become to super strongest of the clan. Basically Megumi will be next in line of the clan and maki and Mai will be trained as his protectors.

The three of them are 5-6 years old at the time. Megumi who was recently orphaned and had a “cousin” named tsumiki who would look after him and not treat him like a prince. (She would scold him and treat him like a person and he grew to greatly respect her.

He learned to be humble by her, maki and Mai’s, and their friends. Megumi had a lot of friends growing up, Panda, Toge, Kamo, Todo, Momo, Miwa, Muta, all them knew him from his status. More so the head of clans were to meet and the others came by around middle school bc they’d have meetings with each other to have them all meet before they started in JJH.)

————————————-

Geto goes to see gojo at his place, you know, the 1000+acre plot of land that was supposed to suffice as Gojo’s own personal quarters. The same one where everyone and their mothers turned him away until they hear he’s Geto Suguru, to where they basically pull him in to ask him to get Gojo out of his room.

Geto is walked in, no knock or introduction. Gojos room, it was thick. The air was strong, you could feel it walking in. Geto goes to open the windows while keeping his demeanor. ”I’ve been picking up your slack everyday Gojo.“ Geto paused to let his friend talk over him, but that didn’t come. He looks back at Gojo in his bed, “C’mon seriously you out of all of us, you can’t be acting like this.”

“I thought you understood that I’m not like other people.”

“Well, before I said you’re not that special to be exempted out of stuff. We’re risking our lives as normal people while you can do months worth of our missions in a week, if you wanted.” Geto sighed, leaning on the wall next to the open vent.

Gojo’s aura, he could barely feel like it in the room, it wasn’t what was taking up the space before anyway. His voice was hard to even find. “….. What makes me so special then?”

Geto didn’t know what to say. This was real one of his worst bits. “You’re special because you’re Gojo Satoru. You are literally the strongest-”

“WHAT IS IT ALL FOR!?” Gojo snaps.

Oof, his jab of Gojo alone being the strongest always annoyed him. Gojo would say that they were the strongest, but Geto kept refusing. Gojo wouldn’t stop until they were equal, til they could bring him down to Geto, or what Geto hated was that they put him as far up as Gojo. It just kept showing him how different they were treated, but in this moment he shouldn’t have said it. “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“I know.” Voice breaking, Gojo continued. “I already knew that you would do this, but somehow it still hurts more than the anticipation. I,” He sighed, using it to catch his breath, “I really wanted you to know me.”

Geto was speechless. His best friend, the one person who Gojo was so intrigued by, he trusted Geto enough to let him know what kind of life he lived. How do his words still go unnoticed? He’s still unheard, seen as a brat for being tended to. How could he live as an adult? That’s right, they’re rendering Gojo powerless still. Even while he’s an adult now.

“I’m sorry. We can go get ice cream-“

“Get out.” Suguru could only blink. He didn’t hear that right-

“GET OUT!”

Gojo had never raised his voice like this before. His tone was so stern Geto thought someone else may have been in the room with him. Speechless, he just turned and left.

———————————————-

“You seriously didn’t say anything?” Nanami wasn’t recovering well from Haibaras death. That was just insane, how time moves so much faster when your brain is panicking. Maybe if nanami could’ve moved his legs a bit faster maybe haibara could’ve just lost up to his knees, but no, his organs ended up missing too. There was no way anyone could help them.

The blond was grouchier than ever. He was angry. There wasn’t a curse in the world that could escape his wrath. He supposed he could sulk and stay upset, risking his life even more as it’d unbalance his fighting style. He had to stay focused but couldn’t do that without motivation.

————-

Haibara was the only person really getting him to help others. Of course he wanted to help people, it wasn’t right that most of the population are victims to themselves, and they don’t even know it. They can’t help it, someone once said to him, and it stuck with him since.

“Why is it our job to help them if they don’t even know the danger they’re in?” Nanami said aloud.

“What a stupid thing to say.” Haibara comes around, folding up his magazine and smacking nanami on the head. “You should help others because you want to, there shouldn’t be any other reason for it. You’d be bargaining forever at that point.”

“Yeah sure, I get that it’d be more mental gymnastics around it all, but seriously what’s the real reason?”

“If you keep asking yourself questions, that time could’ve been used to save another life. Don’t you feel better after knowing they’re safe? That you did something for other people like us?”

“They’re not like us.” Nanami grumbled. His 16 year old mind just didn’t get why it was up to him to save most of the population, it was a lot of responsibility, let alone how Gojo was born into it. That’s how Nanami keeps himself away from Satoru, and Suguru by association, but Haibara makes it apparent to always greet them.

He kept breaking through Nanami’s boundaries and showed him that it’s easier to do if he wants to do it. And he’s been on that ever since, trying to get his friend to think differently to better himself.

——————

Nanami heard about what happened to the two, and reached out to Utahime for Suguru’s number, which she also got from Shoko. Telling his upperclassman what happened to their mutual friend, it was a big step for him to open up. They sat side by side, nanami leaning all the way back, as much as gravity would allow, listening.

“He yelled at me.” Geto said.

“That’s not like him at all, he’d never do that. Did you really recover fully? Maybe we’re all going crazy.”

“No,” Geto stopped him. “He actually yelled at me. Like I felt like a little kid and he was the upset father for once.” Nanami could tell that upset him, it wasn’t about power and control but that was never their dynamic. Gojo was always the kid, he was always the one with energy and not a care in the world, because he was a brat, but also so elevated that he was neglected of course he was going to be ignorant to things, much less latching onto the first person that treated him with actual sincerity and decency.

“I wonder what he’s seeing right now. If he knows how much he hurt me because he just sees everything. I bet he saw this conversation when he woke up again.”

“Do you think he might’ve saw something while they were putting his head back on?” Fixing his glasses, nanami could remember the details when yaga, Suguru, and Shoko came back holding parts of the two

Maybe. But his vision keeps getting in the way of his life. He knows that, we all know it, but what can we do about it? He’s the strongest. After all the training they’ve done together, Gojo having deja vu and being able to be familiar with Geto’s moves really always pissed him off.

Gojo tried closing his eyes but it seemed better for him, the light was less intense and he just had to trust his senses. Gojo was told so many times, taunted by Geto, always saying that was why Gojo could never deliver him a fair fight.

Bzzzbzbbzz. Looking down on his phone, Geto was surprised to see Shoko’s contact with an image attached, showing Gojo resting in a bed. “Come over.”

“Nanami, I gotta go.” With no time to explain, Geto’s out the door. Nanami sighs and decides to buy some flowers.

—————————

Gojo wakes up to Geto coming over to the infirmary. His head is bandaged heavily and Geto wasn’t told why or what happened, he just thinks that it was a mission that he failed bc of how bad his headspace was.

Gojo is honestly quiet. He listens to Geto tell him how he can just go out and do anything with his head like that, making it vague. Gojo thinks that even after doing what he did, that Geto and everyone would still not feel anything for him, he needed pity. He needed shame to feel human. He needed to feel something.

Gojo just sits and listens to Geto. He missed his friend so much. He sits in his bed, looking out the window at the world outside.

Geto is running his mouth, saying things in a tone that only his best friend would understand, trying to say in the best way possible how he cares. He’s just so worried how Gojo could be so stupid without him. Not even a laugh. He was boiling water for some tea, just preparing whatever he found around the infirmary to make it less tense.

When Geto brings gojo his tea, gojos already asleep. He sets the cups on the nightstand, he sits and looks over at his friend, thinking that it suited him. Being quiet like this was something he could only wish upon to happen, but it was killing them both.

Geto realizes that Gojo was calling for him to come so he could sleep. He looked over his body and his fingers had skin picked off, his body looked like he lost some weight, and the bandages covering his head and face was bothering him. He wanted to see that his friend was really there, that he was okay.

Geto got up to go to the bathroom and when he came back, he found Gojo back up, drinking his cold tea in the dark.

#stsg #jjk au #taaotjjk #fanfiction #jjk #jjk angst #jjk anime #gojo x geto #satoru gojo #jjk suguru #getogojo #jujutsu geto #jjk gojo #nanami #nanami kento #jujutsu kaisen au #au #jujutsu megumi #megumi fushiguro #Mai Zenin #maki Zenin #toji fushiguro #toji zenin

[ezay]

Summary: you and mikasa have always been a little bit closer than normal. You see how far it can truly go

Pairing: Modern AU | Mikasa Ackerman x Reader Warnings: She/her pronouns used, pet names. Eating out, scissoring, and fluff! 18+ ONLY PLEASE. MINORS DNI! You will be blocked.

Author note: This is my first fic ever posted take is easy on me this is meant to be cute and fun :) idrk what to say except hope you enjoy! this was proofread with half ass effort sorry ahaha

Edit: I’ve been kinda skimming over it corrected a couple misspelled words

————————————————————

Your favorite scene to paint in your head was Mikasa’s long hair let loose with a tiny white tank on, her back to you as you call her name.

She would turn around with a soft smile “hmm?” You took her in, a slight blush to her cheeks and a few stray hairs from your previous nap and other activities “Nothing you just look good baby” you would say giving her a dazed smile back. You wondered if Mikasa thought about having those moments with you too, not as friends but as more like a partner. You know there’s something between you two, “friends” don’t cuddle in such close proximity, especially half naked (sometimes ;)).

“Friends” don’t discourage you from talking to all the fine girls you see simply excusing it with “you can do better” (the only baddie you r getting is her)

And “Friends” definitely don’t make dinner for each other when you go to their house (basically everyday) and pack a lunch when it’s time to go to work (bc that’s the only time you leave each other alone)

You were growing restless of not exactly knowing what you two “were” so you decided you were going to take action later on when Mikasa came over to just hang. She told you she’d be on the way after she helped Eren pack for a trip to visit the family in Germany, you decided to buy her favorite snacks from the store real quick so she had something to come eat. As you set the stuff up in the living room you heard knocking at your door signaling Mikasa was here, you open the door to see her standing there in short shorts and a tiny baby blue tank top due to the scorching weather “hey it’s fucking burning out here” you softly exclaim, as you open the door wider to let her in. She lets out a giggle as she comfortably walks to the living room happy to be in the air conditioning “I know and I had to help Eren load like 5 suitcases you know how his family is” she breathily laughs out. You watch as she uncaps and drinks the beverage you got her, you turn on the TV on your way to sit next to her and hand her the remote so she can choose what to watch.

She ends up choosing Avengers: Infinity War because it’s long and she could spend all that time cuddled up next to you, “We haven’t ruined this movie for ourselves yet surprisingly” you comment as the devastating death of Loki plays on the screen “mhm it’s still entertaining” she hums back as she scoots closer to you, tossing her legs over yours and laying her head on your shoulder.

You shift so you’re both brought closer together, and you can wrap your right arm around her to softly stroke her hair. The movie goes on for a bit more before you think “This is it” you slowly start ghosting your fingers up and down her legs you feel her slightly shiver, so you press down a bit more actually letting your fingertips feel her smooth skin “love when do things like this help me relax so much” she dreamily sighs out “fuck it” you think. You gently grip her upper thigh, softly kneading it while looking at her “can I try something that‘s not what friends do?” you ask looking at her, Mikasa straddles your lap and places a gentle kiss to your lips ``I wanted to make the first official move…” she shyly mumbled you feel your body become light, you hold eye contact with her before looking at her lips putting your right hand under her chin to pull her into a wet kiss, your tongues pushing against each other before you grip her hair with your other hand pulling her head back just a bit.

She resembles that picture you often painted in your head, hair a bit wild already and her cheeks flushed, you closed your eyes and exhaled through your mouth before diving into her neck biting then licking the spot, she was whines a bit while humping your groin “I want you to touch me please” she whimpers rolling her hips particularly harder. You loudly gasp, grabbing her hips continuing her movements “yeah? Touch you where” you raspingly tease out. Despite your teasing Mikasa boldly grabs your hand to cup her wet center “touch me here like I know you’ve been wanting” she smirks back. you are still, a bit surprised before slowly rubbing her. You could feel it was a bit damp, so you start taking her shorts off along with undies - Mikasa lifting her hips a bit in assistance.

Eager to feel her more you take off your bottoms, both getting rid of the rest of your clothes. Her bare tits instantly in front of your face have your brain fuzzy, so you take one in your mouth lick around the nipple before softly starting to suck on it giving the other one some stimulation with your fingers. Mikasa lowly moans continuing the rocking of her hips against you going to fondle your tits, you finally let go and reconnect your lips in a sloppy kiss.

You can’t contain your moan, only the universe knows how long you’ve been wanting this, you’re sucking and licking at her tongue pulling away to lick her neck and leave some dark spots around there. You trail your fingers up and down her thigh before resuming where you left off, her pussy so wet you’re just gliding up and down

“I want to taste you so bad you gonna let me do whatever hmm?” You ask her eager to just please the fuck out of her “go ahead and show me how good you wanna make me feel love” she says in a sickly sweet voice.

instantly, you lay her down peppering kisses all over her collarbone before moving down to her tits softly biting one of her nipples then running your tongue over it, you place loud wet kisses down her stomach until your face is between her thighs. Her glistening pussy looking at you hole slightly clenching from how horny she is “you have the prettiest pussy Mika. so wet baby” you lay your tongue flat starting at her hole licking upward to her clit before swirling around her precious bud sucking on it.

“Just like that” she whimpers resting her hand on the back of your head, you slide one finger into her hole feeling the resistance of her walls then another one creating a steady rhythm you continue to swirl and suck at her clit she pushes your head into her every once in a while “feels so good make me come please “ she whines. You start moving your fingers faster, drunk off the wet noises her pussy is making you feel her legs shaking, so you lap at her clit sideways sucking until you feel a warmth spreading thru your mouth.

“Fuuck!” Mikasa squeals from the sensitivity you keep her legs open cleaning her up, you push your tongue in her hole before gently sucking the remaining left “wanted to do that for so long” you mumble, more to yourself. Mikasa pulls you up by your hair shoving her tongue down your throat you shamefully moan, pushing yourself up to her level you lay her down so you're over her. You move her hair out of her face “you trust me pretty girl?” you ask her ,without hesitation she nods with a positive hum, so you pull her legs up into a V shape rubbing her juices around a bit before lightly placing your pussy on top of hers rocking deliciously.

Mikasa moans at seeing the lewd scene your mouth hangs open a bit at the site of your biggest wet dream come true “wanna be messy” she whines at your precision strokes “fine baby” you smirk down at her rubbing your clits harder against each other, feeling the wetness spread and your clits tingle with pleasure. You push down so your arms are supporting you next to her head you move your head down capturing her lips in a kiss, you take one of your hands to pucker her lips and spit in her mouth “baby” Mikasa chokes out after she obediently swallows.

“You liked that huh” you look down at her slowing down to prolong your orgasm the back of her heels dig into your back “pleasee wanna come again” her shiny eyes look into you. That’s enough for your brain to melt wanting to just rub pussies together until you felt her slick running down your thighs. Mikasa yanks you to her lips “kiss me pretty” she whispers you feel so hot all over instantly invading her mouth with your tongue having the nastiest make out session, spit probably coming out the sides of your mouths.

“Gonna cum gonna cum fuckk” Mikasa's high pitched voice squeaks out “yeah come all over my pussy wanna feel that, yeahh” you exhale the pleasure from your clit spreading throughout your bottom making your hole clench from making her gush for the second time

“Ahh, you’re so good baby�� she shakily whispers coming back from her orgasm. You plop next to her wrapping your arm around her waist “you’re so fucking beautiful in every way possible Mika” you whisper she lifts your chin up with her fingers “thank you baby girl I love you” she places a kiss on your nose then your forehead, wrapping her arm around you. Your heart is beating to the point you hear it in your ears “I love you too, soo much” you bury your face in her chest you feel the way her body shakes as she giggles, and you smile happy that you don’t have to keep thinking about what could be.

You both stay laid up confident you can call each other “mine” after today.

Another AN: im like a grandparent when it comes to tumblr so I’m so confused why the italics didn’t transfer from google docs to here.. I will figure it out as I go lolll

#mikasa smut #attack on titan mikasa #mikasa x you #mikasa x reader #mikasa ackerman #mikasa ackerman x reader #mikasa ackerman smut #aot smut #aot mikasa #aot thirst #aot x reader #aot fics #aot thirsts #attack on titan #attack on titan smut #snk fanfiction #snk smut #snk

[dafuq-lyrehc]

I haven’t spoken about it much here, but it is the main cause for my mental distress. Besides a car accident being a traumatic experience and me realizing that my intense desire for perfection is so incredibly deep rooted that the thought of me doing something wrong makes me want to vomit and cry, my state is also actively trying to fuck me.

I am a medical marijuana patient and my state has a 0 tolerance policy for marijuana when it comes to driving. So every single med patient in the state is basically a walking dui, bc if the police find out your a patient, they can do a blood test. But if you’re a regular user (like me), there will be marijuana in your blood even in you haven’t used it for an extended period of time. I consume almost everyday bc anxiety and the horrors.

So when I got into my car accident in January, I sustained a concussion and the police officer did a field sobriety test. I failed bc I had a concussion…. But the officer took my blood anyway and if the 3 letters I got in the mail from defense attorneys are any indication, the state will be trying to charge me with a dui even tho I WAS NOT HIGH. I don’t drive while high. The thought of it makes me so anxious that I haven’t even tried it. Completely sober, I’ll get paranoid that I’m intoxicated somehow and am swerving and such (when I’m not) and I’ll get so in my head and panicked. So I don’t drive high.

In addition to this, I got a letter from the state requesting I get some forms filled out by a health care provider to assess if I am unfit to drive bc of some kind of condition, including a substance abuse disorder. If I don’t turn in the forms by Feb 29, they’ll start the process of suspending my license, and if they’re not in by March 30, my license will be suspended.

Well, I finally got health insurance last year after not having it for years. The only doctor I’ve seen since getting health insurance is a dermatologist bc I’ve got a chronic skin thing that causes lots of pain and discomfort when it flairs. I saw a primary care doc for the first time after my car accident to follow up. And I can’t seem to find a doctor who is “comfortable” filling out these forms for me. I asked the state what I should and they told me to go to an urgent care if I can’t get one of my doctors to sign the paperwork. I went to an urgent care and they told me that they legally cannot fill out the forms. So my current plan is to just try and get an appointment with random doctors to see if they will do it.

I’ve been trying so hard not to let the looming depression consume me, but the depression got hands. It feels inevitable to lose my license, and I’m just so fucking tired. I feel like I’ve been in this survival mode for my whole life and I try so hard to do the “right things”, but it doesn’t seem to even matter.

Unfortunately, the self harm and suicidal ideation are back. ✌️ I’m trying so hard, and it feels like the effort has never gotten me anywhere. Like maybe the issue is I should just lay down and take it. Surrender and submit. I know it’s the depression talking, but like I said this depression got hands. Can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim. And I’m barely treading water

I also feel so guilty for feeling this way. The accident showed me that there are actually a lot of people in my life who care about me, and I don’t want them to be disappointed. I don’t want to waste their support and let them down. I just really don’t want to be here. Never have, maybe never will

#like please I’m so tired #just let me rest #tw mention of self harm #tw depression #update

[star-girl69]

DUDEEEEEE. She calls me baby youuuuu ate that harrrrrrrd. Like I had to go back in for seconds and thirds and fourths fr fr. Cause are we even surprised or are we just grateful that you give us mortals a second of your time and talent????

Babe you are so incredibly talented. The way you write is sooooooo amazing its like you just know how to manipulate your words into something that will and has had me in tears in like 2 seconds. Don't even get me started on how you write your characters. Like I don't know how I can fully and most genuinely express the astonishment you leave me in all the time.

I believe that you are one of a kind and a treasure to be cherished. I know that doubting is inevitable but I hope that you know that I'm always gonna be in the obsessed with addie corner no matter what. Like I meant it when I said that there won't be a time when you have no fans. Ever. You will forever be my favourite gorgeous goddess❤️❤️❤️.

-❤️

(I'm sorry I've been so absent school has been actually eating me alive)

(I think about you everyday though and it makes life just that much better)

(I hope you don't think I'm exaggerating😭😭😭😭All of this that I've been feeling without releasing had to be sent in a long ask my bad)

(I missed your little bonuses though, I hope you're doing okay)

(I'm always here for anything you may need, even if its literally just to tell you how amazing you are)

(love you ❤️)

#jealousclarissesupremacy

I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU WERE I WAS SO WORRIED I SMILED SO HARD WHEN I GOT THIS ASK 🤭🤭

I CANT THAT WHOLE SECOND PARAGRAPH LIKE I CANT LIKE WOWWWW YOU THINK THAT???? ABOUT MEEE??!!!!??!?!?!?!!

TREASURE IS INSANE BTW 🤭 anyways omg. i’m so grateful wtf like i’m sorry i cant come up w something more poetic like you i just love these asks so much i get so happy and idk how to express that other than ilysm and i’m just so happy and so so grateful

also gorgeous goddess… i giggled 🤭🤭🤭

(ITS OKAYYYYY IM GLAD YOUR BACK SCHOOL HAS BEEN COOKING ME TOO 💔💔)

(EVERYDAY??!?!?!?! i think about you everyday too tho….. thinking about that one day you were so active and i got like 5 asks from you… BEST DAY OF MY LIFEEE) (also pls don’t take this as me pressuring you TRUST i am grateful for whatever you give me 🙏🙏)

(STOP. I. LOVE. LONG. ASKS. DONT ANNOY ME BY DOUBTING MY LOVE FOR YOU!!!!!!!)

(idk i’m okay i’ve just been really feeling pressured to write stuff bc the fandom is dying down (guys pls come back) and i am now firmly addicted to the praise and number of notifs i get…. lol. the bonuses have always been weird bc sometimes they come so easily to me like the first one i did was so it goes and i didn’t even have to think about it and then someone said they liked it so i went back and did it to my other fics and started doing it and idk yeah basically what i’m saying is sometimes they’re so easy and other times i have to force myself to come up w something which sucks but people like them so i’m happy to do it!!!!)

(tbh i’ll probably go back and add a bonus to she calls me baby bc i have just a little teeny bit of ocd and it will bother me but also i’m trying to let the little things go but idk we’ll see how strong i am 😭😭)

(sorry i will stop ranting now) (shoutout to anyone who actually reads that incoherent ramble)

(i need to be told how amazing i am 24/7 so that will be hard 😔) (BUT I APPRECIATE YOU SAYING THAT)

(LOVE YOU TOOOOO 💋💋💋)

#iagreesobad

#addie answers stuff!!! #❤️ anon

[ohbabydollie]

hi dollie!! i absolutely adore your work! i hope this isn’t too much of a “personal question” and if it is ofc you don’t have to answer it!

i was wondering how you got your account started and how you made it grow?? i’ve recently decided to start writing and was curious

💫💫

Hi!!!

So basically u js have to write banger after banger /j

No but fr, the way I grew my account was by finding what I liked writing about, once I did I was able to write about it as much as I wanted. I came up with my own concepts and ideas such as mutual break up and the restaurant au which drew people in since no one has written/thought of it before. I took requests, etc. which also helped me grow along with interacting with other writers and people who enjoy my stuff in general.

I post almost every day, you don’t have to and it doesn’t make you an awful writer if you can’t (I have to remind myself of this)

I do it everyday bc most of it is queued, my schedule allows me to write everyday, and not to mentions I can pump out a fic in minutes at times or it’ll take days other times but everything is different for everyone

You just need to stay consistent in posting rather than taking months to write a fic, post a drabble or hcs or smth in between posting fics

It took me years to get to realize this, since technically, my first fics were posted in late 2020 i believe (now most have been deleted) but i feel like the thing you need to do is not force it but just find what you enjoy and write about it

Remember numbers aren’t everything, do what makes you happy and as my younger self asked myself now in a letter, “are you still writing what you like?”

If you don’t, change it to something you do, don’t force yourself to write what you think will make you popular or what will make other people like you. Real ones will accept the change and still stick around, if people are mad about it then let them, they can read your older content or find someone who writes what they want.

Just make yourself happy in writing and that’s all that matters since you’ll find inspo in writing something you like rather than writing something you don’t

I hope this is helpful

#dollie yaps 🗣️

[unknwnxquantity]

There is no one from my past that I want back romantically. I’ve healed past all that and made peace with things thankfully. But there are ppl I miss being friends withhhh 😭 like this one girl. It’s a little messy with her bc she was one of my ex best friend’s hs gf. He introduces her to that friend group and I don’t think she liked me much at the time bc I was super close to that friend (and I was his first kiss Idek if she knows that lmao) anyways yeah we were just mutuals for years. Then ended up unfollowing each other on stuff. Which is fine, no hard feelings we weren’t close lol

Fast fwd to peak covid she hits me up out the blue. Refollows me when my ig was still public and id write my silly deep descriptions, DMs me on ig on some “I know this is random but I’ve been feeling lost lately and I just read some of your IG posts. I aligned with all that you said, my soul is calling to you and I really feel like I need you in my life” and some “it feels like every cell in my body is aligned, my ears are ringing, I really feel like I needed to hit you up. Your energy is pulling me in” And I’m like uhm…. Ms girl? What? lol. Me being who I am, a part of me is like omg she feels called to meeee and sees meeee but another part is like …😀? You are this man’s ex hitting me on some “crazy” shit. It was like a couple paragraphs of saying verbatim what I said and how she was feeling lost in life and clicked on my post and then it all started clicking. I responded back kinda vaguely and then days later she’s like hey I didn’t mean to scare you but I never felt that aligned and something so right in my life and was just so excited. And I’m like okay you got me lol let’s be friends and talk about spirituality. Bc I was also going through like a second awakening during 2020, like another huge spiritual journey. This was a phase of me just talking to new ppl on tiktok, tinder, etc, old friends, etc.

People told me not to trust her. They said don’t do it. But I’m glad I trusted her when I did. We’d talk about the most small but intricate stuff bro. From h0lly w3ird, to the stuff that starts with an A that’s depicted in monsters inc (I was going DOWN all types of dark rabbit hole conspiracies with others too during that time, it’s sad but it’s what’s happening behind the curtains)… all the stuff you can’t talk about on social media basically lol to spirituality. Deep rooted, ancient practices, rituals, astrology, medicine, holistic approaches, etc. or even random shit like how a leaf resembles human veins, and that the whole of one human represents a whole of one tree, and how it plays into a whole ecosystem of things. And how trees and humans are similar to one cell. Theres millions and billions, and yet it can be narrowed down to just one for our brains to try and comprehend the endlessness of the universe. Or like this one time I sent her a pic of the trees while I was in nature at this park I’d go to a lot during covid, that helped me heal a lot and I’d go on walks with my family and that started our little walks and talks, and for the first time ever I was close to my mom, bc of those walks. But anyways I sent her a pic and was like hey I thought of you and I sent a voice memo I think idk. But I remember her being like “I wonder what the birds are saying when they chirp.” And I was like YOOOOOO that really rocked my world. Like what are they talking about amongst each other? What other conversations have they had today? What are their day to day lives like? What is their level of consciousness? Do they realize they do the same shit everyday but that everyday is always a little bit different? A different route to fly, a different bug to eat, a different person they see at that same moment just going about their own consciousness? Do they realize the earth is dying around them? We all cross paths and yet never bat an eye to each other and not realize how fucking cool but random life is. We had a lot of talks like that. It felt like someone really got it. How mysterious and infinite life is. Infinite infinities, infinite everything it hurts my brain to think about. It’s all happening at the same time. Every timeline, every life, every fucking thing. Our death our past lives our future lives are all happening at the same time!! Are you even real? Am I the only consciousness and everyone else is a projection that was randomly set by the simulation? Why am I in this particular simulation? WHO am I really? That’s a scary theory I try not to align with that one. I need to stop my hearts beating fast.

Wait one more. Another random thing that came to mind is why do I feel pain if I bang my hand on the counter? Or a hard surface? What makes a surface hard? Why instead of pain, why don’t I feel happiness or yodel (yodel is never apart of my vocabulary idk why out of all words that was what I thought of)? Who decided that the feeling of pain is the appropriate reaction for when you bang your body part on something? What is pain? Why does emotional pain hurt more than physical? I know why, but who in the simulation made the rules like this???? Why does it rain from up above, but not from the ground up? Why does it rain period? WHO looked at the rain and said “yup let’s call this rain”? My mind always thinks like this sober bro that’s y I can’t smoke bc then I really start to see the world happening all in one moment it’s too much.

Going into my memories thinking about this is making me feel a little weird. Like I should leave her in the past. Which I am! But I’m always like no it’s okay let’s go through these weird feelings i didn’t need to bring up and explore it even if it makes you feel weird for the next couple hours or days. Just to revisit them.. I’m allowed to reflect.

Back to the original plot of the story, I had to cut her out my life tho bc she betrayed my trust. We started to like each other a little but she was in DR with her grandma for the summer. We’d talk almost everyday til she got back and we were suppose to meet up then she stopped responding for a bit. Something was off and she didn’t admit to it at first. Til she randomly tells me like hey.. I didn’t know how to tell you this but I moved in with my ex bf bc my family didn’t wanna take me back in (which is why she went to her grandmas in the first place). I felt so fucking betrayed. I stopped talking to her and she would text me hoping to forgive her and that she really missed me. I already knew she wasn’t the most trustworthy person to begin with, when I learned the tea as to why ex best friend and her broke up. I can’t really go into too many details, it was something she did, but she never told me herself so idk. lol but yeah. Even months after that, I accepted her apology bc it wasn’t really that deep in retrospect. But then I had to cut her off bc she said something while I was in my relationship about having a dream about me and we made out…. And once my gf found out about that bc ofc that’s gonna have to come up. There was other little things too that happened with her where my gf was like no she cannot be in your life if we’re in this relationship bc that’s disrespectful and she’s crossed boundaries. Which I agree. I cut her off out the blue tho, even after we had a convo about us being on good terms. It sucks but sometimes you gotta do what’s right to protect your relationships energy. She even re requested to follow me on IG over a year ago tho and that’s just a bit messy. Messy girl. That right there proves she does not take loyalty in relationships seriously. But is that unfair to say? She’s in one tho with a man traveling living her best life. Hope she’s doing good. Okay edit……. I found out she’s pregnant?? What is life. Congrats tho fr

Idk what the point of this was. I was feeling nostalgic this morning. I’m slowly learning that just bc you miss someone doesn’t mean they need to be in your life. Past me would be like BUT BUT WHY, WHY CANT PPL JUST GIVE INTO THEIR EMOTIONS :( But now I’m like I get it. Logically sometimes things are left better untouched. It’s a balance of knowing when and when not to do something even if you really want to. And even if the good intention is there, life’s about reading the room and trusting the universe. Not trying to bring things back to life when it’s better left untouched or at least untouched in this moment. Maybe it’s done for the rest of your life, or maybe just for this period of time in your human experience. It’s like when the media makes more and more sequels of a movie that was better off with just the one movie. Like Toy Story 3 and 4 wasn’t necessary. It was cute. But it tarnishes a little the image of how beautiful Toy Story 1 and 2 were. Or like jersey shore family vacation, like y’all need to dead that already. Again, it’s all about reading the room. You can’t just give into your impulses. That’s a main struggle I have too. So I’m trying to become more disciplined. That’s part of what life’s about (s/o to my Virgo north node🤪🥲).

#unknwnxquantity