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#been a bit overwhelmed by social media lately so i’ve been off it
dovesick · 14 days
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lotus flower pearl
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reginarubie · 9 months
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just passing by to say i love you! and all your works! your fics always makes me 🫠🥰😍💞😭❤️‍🔥✨️💝🫠✨️💫😭🥰💞😍❤️‍🔥
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Hi nonny!,
Thank you so much! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 this message is amazing and I guarantee that it has put a smile on my face! It has been a rough couple of weeks with new projects (personal and about my job and master too) and lately I’ve been a bit overwhelmed.
But this… this is truly amazing, to know my works put a smile on someone’s faces, which consciously I know if so many people comment under my stories, like my metas, share my content they like it, still that you took the time to leave a personal message this way just drew it home another notch!
So thank you 💜🩷💜 my fics may make you all happy but your message made me all happy too!
And since I’m here, I’ll also leave a comunicazione di servizio:
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Soon (from August 10th to august 21th) I’ll be going on vacation, now it’s the first time in a while I’ve been able to take time off university and the job, so I plan to enjoy it with my man and my family and detox a bit from all social media to just enjoy their company so, I’ll be on hiatus from the 9th to the 21 of august.
You are welcome as always to leave requests or asks or just greetings and well wishes like this one, and I’ll get back to you when I return from vacation.
So, since I haven’t been able to update in a bit, and then I’ll be off to the seaside with family, I wanted to give an update on all my fics, alas it’s a bit ambitious and unlikely as a goal, so here have your pick (I’ll surely update the first two to win plus the hobbit FìlixFemBilbo and the Mihrimah sultan one I’ve just begun)
As always sending all my love (thank you again nonny) ~G.
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thestarlightforge · 1 year
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Edit: If you come from LinkTree, you can scroll to bottom for a recent update! :)
Culture Club!
As a part of my own cultural research for various writing projects (and because of my personal beliefs—the purpose of education being to become a more well-rounded and loving person), I’ve been doing a lot of research into Judaism lately. I’m still very much a beginner; very thankful to all the friends, online and otherwise, who have been willing to share their culture with me, a girl who started out as an undereducated, basic, White-trash, agnostic semi-Methodist from Tennessee.
Y’all, there is so much to learn! It is such a healing and loving process to better understand the culture and heritage of your friends and fellow human beings. You will feel better. They will feel better. And the Internet makes it so easy! Even if you aren’t a writer, I can’t recommend it enough. ☺️
I come from a background of largely inadequate K-12 public schooling, I think it’s fair to say, when it comes to learning about other cultures and marginalized communities, so I had to teach myself how to learn this kind of information once I got to college. But it is possible, through the power of the Internet, to learn earlier—with a little bit of guidance.
Doing this research, it occurred to me there are probably a lot of people who have had a similar experience: Young people (or old—it’s never too late to learn!) who feel overwhelmed by all they don’t know (as I did when I first left the South), like they don’t know where to start or who to ask, or are embarrassed by their own ignorance. It is overwhelming. It is scary, feeling like a you’ve been left behind and like you can never be the understanding, loving person you want to be for your friends and the people you love. It’s very scary to admit how little you know.
But we are not helpless! Especially not if we help each other. ☺️
In this series, I will take you along on a highlight tour of the cultural research I’m doing, for myself and my writing. You can feel free to read/watch/discuss along with me, or use the research tips I’ve stumbled across to research other topics of interest to you. Education is for everybody, and we can all be better if we put in the effort to become so together!
This Week: Starting on Judaism + Basic Research
Research Tips—Starting with Videos!
Especially when approaching learning about a new culture from a writerly perspective, immerse yourself as much as possible! Don’t be afraid to admit your ignorance to your search history; people IRL will thank you for it.
Long ago, I started out searching for “Judaism for dummies” on YouTube and found this video, and it taught me tons! And, importantly, it gave me a jumping off point to search for more specific information from places like my university’s library website, Google scholar, and etc.
Pro tip: If you don’t have access to a University or school library, try your local library! Many cities (such as the DC/Maryland/Virginia area, where I live) have libraries with free, fully-online sign-up programs and HUGE archives of eBooks, audiobooks, and other resources both digital and physical. Download the Libby app (iOS, Android) to easily connect multiple library cards with your phone, manage digital checkouts across libraries, and read e-books and audiobooks (aka LIFESAVERS imo) checked out from the library. (Some of us still have cards from back home in high school!) Also, the Internet Archive has tons of digital materials available to read in-browser for free.
Starting off with introductory videos is often a great idea in my experience, then from there, you can dig into scholarly articles and even books on various topics (e.g. The Everything Judaism Book: A complete primer to the Jewish faith— from holidays and rituals to tradition and culture by Richard Banks for this particular research project).
Also, social media can prove a great resource! The point of cultural research is to actually understand culture, both historically and in the present, and academia can be classist, sexist, racist, homophobic, ableist, etc. other terribleness—so listening to people speaking right now is a great way to learn about activism that is currently important, oral histories, and history that may have been suppressed due to intersectional oppression, settler colonialism, and White supremacy (e.g. queer histories of all SORTS of cultures; they often get squashed except by this popular, subversive discourse). Also, while fact-learning is important, history class in K-12 teaches a lot of people that’s the beginning and end of cultural education; You can break out of just memorizing facts by taking the time to see, listen to, and more deeply understand the day-to-day impacts culture has on people.
When using social media, tags are important. For this project, I’ve spent a lot of time on TikTok, particularly #jewtok. @spacevinci’s video’s are SO packed with info, hilarious, and Miriam is a non-binary (they/them pronouns) Jewish person. And that’s just one place to start!
Wrapping up
I hope this has been helpful! If anyone is interested in my continuing this series, I’d be glad to.  I’ll keep y’all posted on ongoing research projects, maybe 1-2 updates per week (though as a warning, my brain is all over the place and I am not good at pacing myself lol, so the topics will probably bounce around as well) and I will try to include a helpful research tip or resource each post. Great way to journal my own education and hopefully be a low-judgment resource for other people who are trying to do the same.
Write me in the comments/reblog! (That’s how Tumblr works, right? 😆 I’m an ex-Twitter person, lol; this is ✨a whole new thing✨ for me.) Let me know if this sounds interesting!
Love to all and happy learning! :)
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
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Love For The Faceless
Corpse Husband x Youtuber!Reader(Female)
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: Fluff 
Summary: Y/N is a YouTube gamer who has recently gained a much larger following thanks to the streams she does with her friends. Naturally, considering her faceless and bodiless nature, people are starting to get curious about her. When she finally follows her friend Corpse’s example, a lot more than her hands is revealed.
Requested by anon, you know who you are 😉 Thank you so much for placing a request and hope this fic fulfills the expectations you have for it.
“Hey!“ I greet the lobby as I finally hop into the Discord call after quickly saying ‘hi‘ to my audience.
I’ve been a YouTuber for four years now and I’ve only recently started streaming, encouraged to do so by my best friend Rae. She’s the one who got me in multiplayer games such as Among Us and Phasmophobia which led me to meet her amazing gaming squad that consists of some of the most famous names on the platform. They are all wonderful people and I will forever be in Rae’s debt for introducing me to them. However, becoming friends with Felix, Sean and the rest of the team brought not only a more fulfilled life, but also a small boost in following. Who am I kidding, it wasn’t small. It was overwhelming, terrifying even.
My YouTube channel had a little over a million subscribers at the start of quarantine and now....now it’s closer to three million. Speaking of three million, I’m about to reach it any day now and it’s really hard to believe. I’m a gaming youtuber and I’ve never considered changing my genre despite expecting to not get any attention whatsoever, with all the big names on the platform. I was convinced not even as many as a hundred people would stumble across my videos and now here we are.
My OG subscribers are very supportive of my sudden growth and are defending me when my newer fans ask for a face reveal or whatnot. While we’re on that topic I might have to mention that not even my YouTube friends, and that includes Rae have seen my face. I’ve been faceless and bodiless for the entirety of my time on social media. Some claim I do it to grab more attention or for dramatic effect, but the reason is beyond that. I’m not shallow. Actually, shallow people are the reason I don’t show my face. I’ve never been the prettiest, but my middle school bully thought that I wasn’t lacking self confidence enough. As a result, I ended up with a not so handsome scar on my right cheek that starts from the corner of my mouth and nearly misses my eye. Yeah, it’s a long and pretty noticeable scar that has thankfully become less and less obvious as the years have progressed. Still, it’s not something I’d like to show to my viewers.
Eight ‘hi’s greet me back, each making my smile grow wider. “Sorry I’m late guys. Technical difficulties.” 
“Don’t worry.“ Rae’s voice dominates over the rest, “Corpse still isn’t here so we’re waiting for him.“
I mute myself on the Discord call and take a look at my comments. I’m most flattered by the comments about my voice. Seeing as how they don’t have much to compliment about me other than my content, they make the nicest comments about my voice, personality and humor. Those comments are the ones who warm my heart most. Even when people in my day to day life compliment my appearance I can’t find it in me to believe they are being genuine. I’d like to believe these amazing people are being one hundred percent honest when they tell me they like me for who I am and not for what I might look like.
“Sorry I’m late guys.“ A deep voice causes me to even physically jolt, switching my focus from the comments to the Among Us lobby where my eyes land on the newly materialized black avatar.
“Hi Corpse.“ Rae greets him.
“Hello mister who broke Twitter!“ Sean laughs, provoking the laughter of the rest of the players.
“Yeah, congratulations man. That’s a big deal.“ Felix chimes in.
“Thanks guys, but I think you’re forgetting we’re talking about a picture of my hand.“ Corpse chuckles timidly. I have noticed how shy he gets when someone gives him a compliment - like a snail slowly withdrawing in its shell. I find it adorable.
“That’s what makes it even better!“ I unmute my mic, sending my own congratulations.
“While we’re on that topic...“ Rae begins, waiting for the rest of us to shut our traps, suggesting she has something important to say. “Y/N, do you ever plan on doing a reveal like that? Not a face reveal. Just a body part reveal.“
I have no problem talking about the subject with friends but I get nervous when I’m supposed to discuss it with my fans. Seeing as how everyone, including myself, is streaming right now, I get a bit of a stutter in my speech. “Haven’t thought about it yet. But I guess a body part reveal is harmless.” I cringe immediately after letting the words leave my mouth, “That sounds so weird.”
Rae knows that I’m not too fond of my face, but I haven’t told her about my scar yet. I let almost all people I’ve met online think I’m using my lack of appearance for effect. For the mystery of it all. Mysteries attract people which equals attention. Attention equals views and the domino effect continues.
“Just a suggestion. No pressure.“ Rae adds quickly, knowing full well I get anxious when the subject is brought up in front of cameras. “Let’s get this game started, shall we.”
                                                          * * *
The idea dwells in my mind, sitting on the back burner even after I disconnect from the Discord call. I’m sitting in my gaming chair, which was a gift for my two million milestone, and weighing out the pros and cons of the action Rae suggested I take.
“It’s a picture of your fucking hand, dummy. How bad can it turn out?“ I say out loud, shaking my head at my indecisiveness. “You’ll be fine.”
In a blur, two pictures are already posted on my Instagram. The first one captioned ‘Took a leaf from my friend’s book. Did I do it right @ corpsehusband?’ and the second ‘Thanks, Rae. These are on you.’
Rae’s POV
As I’m watching a movie in my living room, I get a notification from Instagram, informing me that Y/N has posted for the first time in a while.
I scoff, “More like the first time in forever.”
The first thing that comes to my mind is the possibility of her reaching that three million milestone that’s been long time coming. I bring the glass of water that’s sitting on my coffee table to my lips, taking a sip as I tap the notification. The picture I see makes me hurry to put the glass back down so I don’t drop it. Y/N’s hand. Her fingers are covered with several thin rings each. And here I thought Corpse had too many rings, this girl has at least two on every finger! 
Then my eyes land on the second picture she has posted only minutes after the first and my heart drops. I struggle to get the water that’s been sitting in my moth down my esophagus while my mind is struggling with the task to comprehend the picture I’m looking at. 
Another hand is resting on top of Y/N’s. A hand also covered in rings but fewer and larger. The nails are painted black. 
I think I know who it belongs to.
Before I can even finish the thought, I’m dialing Y/N. She picks up after the second ring, sound cheery as ever as she greets me. “Hey Rae!”
“Don’t you ‘Hey Rae’ me!” I practically scream. I hate being kept in the dark about anything ever so this is just driving me mad. On top of all, she’s my best friend, for fuck’s sake. “Is that Corpse in the photo with you?!”
“Ugh....“ the cheeriness to her voice is all but gone now.
I go on with my rant, not giving her the time to reply. Not that she would reply. I bet she doesn’t know what to say. “So he knows where you live?! Or was the picture taken at his place?! He knows what you look like?! You have seen him! He has seen you in real life but me, your best friend, haven’t!!! You are breaking Covid 19 protection laws to take pictures?! Are you fucking serious, Y/N?!”
There’s a long moment of silence which frustrates me even more but I literally have run out of things to yell and the power to be angry. I mean, I still am, I just can’t express it.
“Rae, sweetheart, please calm down. You’re scary when you’re mad.“ This girl has some fucking nerve! She’s on the verge of laughing!
“Listen here you...“ 
“Rae, please stop scaring my girlfriend.“ That oh so distinguishable, oh so familiar voice interrupts me.
I am flabbergasted, for a lack of a better term.
“Now that we’ve got you quiet, I can explain.“ Y/N pics up the conversation, “Corpse and I have been dating for six, almost seven months now. We started dating around Easter after talking for quite some time. We moved in together at the end of September. All thanks to you, Rae. You’re the best.” She pauses to breathe in real quick, “There, all caught up?“
I’m in no less shock than I was before she explained. Actually, I think I might be even more confused now. It all just feels like a fever dream. “Yes...no. I don’t fucking know! I need details, Y/N!”
“Details later.“ Corpse makes his presence known once again, “We’re watching Family Guy right now. Talk to you later.“
“Love you, Rae!“ Y/N calls out before the line goes dead.
My arm goes limp, dropping my phone on the couch next to me. 
“Motherfuckers” I mumble under my breath.
Y/N’s POV
It’s been a week since Rae has stopped talking to both Corpse and me. I know she just needs some time to cool off. In the meantime, the rest of our friends were informed and, as oppose to Rae, were nothing but supportive and overjoyed. I bet Rae feels the same way though. Sean, Dave and the rest of the gang have confirmed that she’s incredibly happy for us and says she noticed a spark between me and him since day one, but she can’t help but be mad at us, and especially me, for not telling her sooner.
“Any regrets?“ I remember Corpse asking me when we hung up on her after dropping the bomb.
“Not being able to see her face when she saw the picture.“ I beam at him, feeling as content as ever.
He laughs, agreeing with me before leaning down to kiss me.
@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios
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forever-rogue · 3 years
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Feels Like Home
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Summary | Bucky just seems a little out of sorts lately, so you decide to do something special for him. 
Pairing | Bucky x Fem!Reader
Word Count | 2k
Warnings | none
Masterlists | Bucky, Main
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Bucky had been different lately. Not bad or mean or anything just...different. Off. 
No matter how hard you tried to figure it out, you just couldn’t. That left you with the only logical conclusion you could think of. 
“Buck?” you were sitting at the kitchen table, silently eating dinner as you sat across the table from each other. About halfway through your meal, you’d lost your appetite and set your fork down before pushing your plate away. That garnered his attention as he turned to look at you with a weak little ghost of a smile. You couldn’t take this anymore so you just decided to go ahead and ask, “are you upset with me?”
“What?” he set his own fork down as his brows narrowed and he gave you a quizzical expression, “what are you talking about, Bub? W-where did you get that idea?”
“Have you really not noticed?” you asked softly as he leaned closer. You could see that there were darker than normal circles under his eyes, and he just looked...tired. Exhausted even. He shook his head slowly as you sighed lightly, “you’ve been different. We’ve been different. Did I...did I do something? Are you going to break up with me?”
“I...no - never. I would never break up with you, Bub,” he insisted, wondering where all of this suddenly came from. You just shrugged lightly as tears pricked at the back of your eyes and you focused on your plate, “I love you, you must know that.”
“Then why have you been pushing me away?” your voice was small and shaking as a single tear rolled down your cheek. Bucky made a small sound in the back of his throat as you swiped at the wetness before looking back up to meet his eyes, “the past couple of weeks, I just feel like you’ve been shutting me out. If I did something, please just tell me. I just want you to be okay - for us to be okay.”
“Bub,” he slowly stood up and walked to your side of the table before sinking down on his knees, turning your chair towards him with no effort. He reached for your hands and gently took them in his, his larger ones easily engulfing yours. You held back a sniffle as you met those ocean eyes you loved so much, “I’m not upset with you, or anything. I’m sorry, so sorry if you think that’s what’s going on. I love you a little more every day - this is...it’s just been rough lately.”
“Is everything okay? Are you alright, Bucky?” you dropped one of his hands and brought yours to his face, gently stroking his cheek. He closed his eyes and keened lightly into your touch, “what’s going on?”
“I just...this feels so silly,” he admitted softly, “but sometimes I’m just reminded by how out of place I am. I’m a hundred and six-year-old man in a modern world. It feels...odd sometimes.”
“Oh Bucky,” you whispered softly. You couldn’t lie and say you understood what he was going through or feeling, but you’d always be there for him. That much you did know, and he knew it too, even if there were times that were harder, “I’m sorry, my love. I know it must be hard sometimes, I can’t even imagine, but I’m always here for you. You can tell me anything, even the most mundane thing. But you do belong here - you belong here with me, and Sam, and Sarah, and everyone else. You’re right where you’re supposed to be, even if it doesn’t feel like it. If there’s anything I can do to help, whatever it is, just tell me, okay?”
“Yes,” he whispered softly, giving you a gentle nod before he took your hand and pressed a kiss to your palm, “I love you. I’m sorry I’ve made you think anything but. It’s not you at all...just me.”
“Hey,” you put your hand under his chin and tilted his face up towards yours, “I love you, James. Always.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
It was an interesting thing to be with Bucky. He was a man that, if you didn’t know any better, was very much a man of the times. He dressed, acted, and felt the part. But underneath it all, you knew there were times when he was still left in amazement or awe. You’d say something and he would look at you with that expression. 
But now that you knew better, there were times when you could see something flicker across his face. There were times when you could sense that he was missing something. Even if he didn’t mention anything. 
So when you saw something interesting cross your social media feeds that piqued your interest, you came up with a plan. You hoped he would like it - it wouldn’t be much, but you hoped it would be good enough either way. Maybe a little surprise for your lover was a little push in the right direction to get his mood up a little bit.
Whatever happened, you were willing to try. Anything to put a smile back on his sweet face. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
The whole apartment smelled of delicious cooking; you’d been hard at work for the last several hours, attempting to perfect this evening’s meal and dessert for him. You weren’t a huge natural when it came to the kitchen, but you’d watched enough TikToks on how to make meals you knew were a part of his childhood and practically committed them to memory. 
You’d turned on some light jazz that you knew he’d like - and you did as well - swaying slightly to the music as you worked on finishing everything up. Everything did look good, and you hoped that he would like it. If nothing else, you knew he’d appreciate the effort. You could do something as simple as pour him a cup of coffee in the morning and he’d be over the moon. The man really did love you more than you thought was ever possible. For once you wanted to turn the tables around and make him feel as special as he always made you feel.
“Bub?” Bucky’s soft voice surprised you so much that you almost jumped out of your skin. You were putting together a salad and had been so focused on chopping and singing quietly along to the music that you hadn’t even heard him come in. You turned around and gave him a giant smile before almost running over to him, “what’s all this? Smells good.”
“James,” you whispered softly before gently touching his face and carding your hand through his hair, “you’re home just in time. I love you.”
“I love you too,” he promised softly, leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, “what’s going on?”
“It’s just...it feels silly now, so don’t laugh,” you insisted as he raised an eyebrow at you, “I wanted to do something special for you.”
“For me?” he asked softly, immediately overwhelmed by the idea that you went through any trouble for him. You bit your lip and shyly nodded, “what for?”
“I just...you mentioned you’ve been having a bit of a hard time lately and I wanted to do something special for you to maybe make it a little better,” you admitted, as you took his hand and pulled him further into the kitchen, “now, don’t get too excited because it’s nothing super special but I hope you’ll like it.”
“You gonna tell me what it is, Bub, or am I going to have to guess?” he asked softly as you realized you hadn’t exactly told him what was going on. You pointed to the various dishes on the counter and food still on the stove that was warm and ready. Bucky looked around and inhaled the familiar smell of the foods he had grown up with back during his childhood. A lump welled up in his throat as his heart felt like it was about. You were beaming at him, waving your hands in a small ‘ta-da’ motion, “you did all this for me?”
“I did,” you admitted, “hopefully the recipes are somewhat real and the food somewhat good? There were a few things that left me wondering what the hell you guys were eating back then! But...I just wanted to do something to make you feel a little more, at home? I dunno. Like I said, it’s not much, but it’s a little something.”
“I love it,” he admitted softly as he turned to you, his blue eyes soft, “I love you. This is...this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.”
“Wow,” you whispered as he pulled you into his arms, “that’s saying a lot for a man that’s been through hell and back multiple times. You sure about that, James?”
“I am,” and then he kissed you. Softly and slowly, wrapping his arms around your body as he held as tightly as possible in his arms. You threw your arms around his neck as you held him back, “no one has ever seen me like you do, has treated me like you. You are everything. I love you so much. I’m sorry I ever made you doubt for even a second.”
“I love you too, James,” you whispered as you pulled back and cradled his face in your hands, “so much more than you’ll ever know. I would do anything just to see that sweet smile back on your face. Even if it’s something little like this.”
“Little?” he asked, looking around at the mountain of food and dishes you’d prepared, “by the looks of it, this took you some time!”
“Okay...maybe most of the day,” you admitted, “but it was worth it. You are worth it, my love.” 
“As much as I want to eat of all this, will you do me a favor first?” he asked softly, taking a step back and admiring you. It was funny, how he still managed to make you feel this shy and nervous, even after being together for years.
“Anything.”
“Dance with me?” he asked as you realized you still had the music playing in the background. You laughed lightly but nodded, taking his outstretched hand and letting him take the lead. It was quiet for a while, the only sound was the gentle music and the soft whispers of adoration you exchanged, “I love you, Bub.”
“I love you, James.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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mypoisonedvine · 3 years
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Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)
(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)
series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  
word count: 2.5k
warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall
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Liked by starkcosmetics and others
y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it.  he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that.  so happy ❤️ 
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caroldanvers 😍😍😍
flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry
1 HOUR AGO
He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.
The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story.  Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.  
Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors
You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver
Who is James Barnes?  Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau
Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him.  Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard.  ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.
He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’).  But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.
‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’  a source close to the couple reported.  
Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.  
‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’ 
Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right.  To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar. 
However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.  
Is this the best she thinks she can do?  So sad tbh :(
a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer. 
He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol
I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!
Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate.  From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship.  Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.
she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together
He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry
Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson??  I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.
You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea.  “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious.  “People are really obsessed with you two…”
“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second.  He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment.  “I haven’t talked to him in… years?  I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it.  And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other.  But he has his own problems.  I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”
“But you’re not just any one girl.  You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.
“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him.  “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first.  Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name.  And I’m not perfect.  Not even close.”
Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly.  “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”
“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries.  When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away.  “Don’t read the comments, okay?  None of them matter.”
He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well.  In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care.  “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.
“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.
“Seriously?  I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.
“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words.  “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing.  I’m not used to that.”
“You deserve the world,” he assured.  “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”
He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.
"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.
"Do you like it?  Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"
"Couldn't care less," he refuted.  "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."
“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.
“Always.”
//
Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head.  In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized.  What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.
“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.
He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker.  “Who is it?” he asked.
“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”
Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway.  BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door.  Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.
“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face.  “Are you—?’
“Hungry?  Yes,” he frowned.
“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk.  “Say, is she a freak or what?”
“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified.  “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”
“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.
“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.
Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.
“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.
“I could say the same to you!  Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”
“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl.  “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”
“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.
Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space.  “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”
“You’re a star,” you winked.  “And not just with random delivery drivers.  I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”
“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough 
“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!”  You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.
The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.
“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained.  “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”
“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen?  By people?” 
You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes.  “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.
“Probably,” you admitted.
His frown deepened.  “What if I say the wrong thing?”
“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked.  “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”
“I don’t have anything to wear…”
You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning.  “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”
“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.
“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed.  “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”
“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off.  “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”
“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”
He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought.  “Is the smoothie comped?”
“I don’t know.  Do you want me to ask?”
“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.  
“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.
“Are we really doing this?” he asked.
“If you want to,” you mitigated.
“Of course I do.  I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled.  “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”
You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.
“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.
Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky.  “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table.  “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already.  I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb.  I…”
One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.
“I really like you.  I think we have something special.”
He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek.  “I think so, too.”
//
Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.
“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress.  “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”
“A servant?  You’re still paying me,” he reminded you.  “You are still paying me, right?”
“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff.  You’re my boyfriend!”
(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)
“No new driver,” he decided.  “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.
“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard?  Is that too weird?” you continued.
“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever.  As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”
He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.
“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress.  Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.
“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.
And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.
After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet.  It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—
“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.
“Hey,” he returned.
“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.
“That was the plan.”
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americxn · 3 years
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𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕕𝕦𝕔𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕟 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕/𝕥𝕖𝕔𝕙𝕟𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕪 (𝕛𝕡𝕞 𝕩 𝕘𝕟!𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣)
wordcount: 2k warnings: none :)
“James, have you seen my phone?” You ask, James’ attention snapping to where you were knelt on the edge of your shared bed, tossing aside cushions and lifting up the covers. “The phone is where it always is, dearest.” He offers, gesturing to the outdated corded telephone sat on a low table by the front door. “No, I mean my phone.” You mumble, pushing off the bed and beginning to rifle through the drawers of the dark oak nightstand positioned next to the pillows on your designated side. “Oh, you’re referring to that advanced device you always carry around?”  “Yeah,” you answered vaguely, slamming the bottom drawer of the bedside table shut before straightening, your hands coming to rest thoughtfully on your hips. “I could’ve sworn I left it here but it’s gone.” As you looked around the room, James gave a small shrug, his attention falling back to the book rested in his lap.  “Oh wait, I’m stupid - I left it in the bathroom.” You spoke more so to yourself, your words falling deaf on James’ ears, who was once again wholly concentrated on the novel clutched in his hands.
“Jameeees,” you sang whilst shouldering open the door to your shared suit. Your lover looked up from where he lounged in one of the plush armchairs positioned by the cold fireplace, open curiosity painting the pale planes of his face. You walked over to him, your hands hidden behind your back. Perching on his warm lap, you revealed the box you had been hiding with a flourish, presenting it to him with an enlivened flourish. He frowned softly in curious interest, taking the box from your hands and pulling the hastily tied ribbon undone. You watched, barely able to contain your excitement as he removed the lid of the box, carefully setting it aside before peering at the item that lay within. “It’s a phone!” You exclaimed, unable to help yourself as you reclaimed the box from his grasp, pulling out the phone and showing it to him.  “Now you won’t have to sit and stare at your telephone like a lost puppy every time I leave the hotel.” Your words brought a gentle scowl to his brow, his pride bristling at your suggestion; it was true of course, but James was far too ‘busy’ to ever admit it. “You’ll be able to call or message me from any room in the hotel.” A content smile replaced his scowl in response to your words as he reached out, his fingers brushing against yours in a cold touch as he took the phone from you. “This looks like the phone that Sally has.” He mused, turning the sleek device over in his hand to examine it. You hummed your assent. “Yep, it’s the same type of phone. I thought that’d be best, she can teach you a bit more about how to use it. But look,” you snatched the phone from his fingers, swiping on the screen and opening the camera app “it takes pictures! Good quality too. And you can download any apps you like, you can get all your books on here, watch movies, read the news, literally anything. Social media too, I could make some accounts for you if you’d like...?” You words trailed away at the sight of the slightly lost look displayed on his face as he blinked slowly at you, overwhelmed with the abundance of information you had just thrown at him. “Sorry.” You smiled sheepishly. “They’re easy to use I promise. And you have plenty of time to figure it all out on your own. I’ve already put my contacts on there so you can get into contact with my whenever and wherever.” The arm he had slung around your lower back tightened, pulling you into the warmth of his chest as he pressed a lingering kiss to your temple. “Thank you, my love, it all seems extremely intriguing.” 
“My love, could you pass me a towel please?” James spoke from his spot before the shower he had just climbed out of, water running off his skin and pooling at his feet; he had forgotten to bring a towel into the room with him and there were no spares occupying the bathroom. “Dearest?” He called again, beginning to shiver slightly, his damp hair plastered to his forehead, beads of rapidly cooling water dripping from the heavy strands at the nape of his neck and trickling down the pronounced planes of his back. “Y/n?” He tried once more, a slight shade of growing exasperation entering his tone. The hard tiles of the floor were cold under foot as his bare soles padded to the door; he swung it open halfway before peering around it, scanning the room for any sign of you. His eyes stilled on the bed where you lay splayed out on your back, your eyes open as you stared at the ceiling, mind clouded in deep thought. The music you had blaring through your airpods drowned out any other sound and so you didn’t notice the bathroom door open and didn’t pay any attention when James spoke your name even louder, studying you from around the door in confusion. Eventually he pushed the door open fully with an exasperated sigh, looking right at you pointedly as he crossed the room, pulling open his wardrobe and crouching to retrieve a clean cotton towel from the compartment at the bottom. Straightening, he slung the towel around his shoulders, pouting softly as he retreated back into the bathroom, seeing that you still hadn’t noticed him crossing the room mere feet from you, completely exposed.
“Shall we go down to the bar this evening?” James questioned, craning his neck to look at where you bumbled around the room, tidying up a bit and humming softly to yourself. He waited for several beats, expecting a response before frowning when you didn’t so much as deign to acknowledge his question. “Y/n, darling?” He threw up his hands in exasperation when you still didn’t pay him any heed, focused on gathering up the few stray items scattered across the vanity and crossing the room to deposit them in the drawers of the bathroom. “Y/n.” He repeated, standing from his chair and trailing you to the bathroom, lingering outside the door and awaiting your return. You gasped when you bumped into his chest upon stepping from the room, a hand rising to cover your heart in shock. “You scared me.” You laughed breathlessly, reaching up to take one of your headphones from your ear. “What are you doing?” You asked, brushing past him to continue tidying up the room. “I’ve been trying to catch your attention, you’ve been blatantly ignoring me.” He sounded genuinely hurt and so you turned, quickly hurrying back over to him whilst shaking your head. “No, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry; I can’t hear you when I’m listening to music.” You explained, gesturing to the ear that still housed one of your airpods, the other clutched in your fingers.  “Oh. Is that what you were doing the other day? Listening to music? Because I was calling out for your attention and you didn’t pay notice.” “Oh, I’m sorry.” you offered, feeling guilty at the slightly disheartened look creasing his features. “Yes.” He sighed. “You were laying on the bed and I thought that you were sleeping but your eyes were open. I was concerned.” You smiled softly at this, reaching up to brush the stray strands of hair away from his ear. “I’m sorry, just come and kick me or something next time, but look,” you brought your airpod up to his ear, carefully wiggling it into place. He instantly brought his shoulder up to his ear, his neck bending at an extreme angle as he tried to cringe away from the music blasting through it. You laughed openly at his reaction, watching as he reached up to rip it from his ear. He twirled it between his fingertips, his lips parted in disturbed confusion as he examined the small device carefully before passing it back to you with a shudder. “That is an invention from hell.” He stated seriously, looking on in disgust as you inserted it back into your own ear with a giggle.
“I’m just going to run down to reception,” you shouted over your shoulder, opening the front door to you and James’ shared suite. “Why?” His voice was muffled, emanating from the door to his study that branched off the main room. “There’s a microwave in the staff room behind the front desk, I’m hungry.” There was a pause as James considered your words, before responding with: “A what?” You smiled softly, your hand aching as it struggled to hold the heavy door open. “Don’t worry, I’ll only be five minutes.”
Ms Evers watched from where she stood beside the large mahogany dining table as you and James pushed open the door to your rooms, arm in arm, talking fondly to one another. Her eyebrow raised in silent reprovement, the table before her fully laid, food already piled high on the plates arranged at either end. “Sorry, we’re a bit late.” You offered with a small, guilty smile, untangling your arm from James’ and making your way over to your seat.  “The food has long since gone cold.” She grumbled, scanning the table and the food she had so lovingly laid out, her hours of labour now seeming unsatisfactory at the sight of the meals having lost all warmth. “It’s okay.” You insisted. “I’m sure it’ll be just as delicious as usual.” Hazel took little comfort in your words but offered you a tentative smile regardless, stepping away from the table and readying to leave you and James to eat. “Or we can go and warm it all up again?” You suggested. She turned, regarding you with confused intrigue. “If I put it back in the oven, it will surely burn?”  Shaking your head, you reached for your plate, picking it up before skirting around the table and taking James’ in your hand, too. “Come on.” You encouraged over your shoulder as you walked to the door. “Let me show you both the miracle that is a microwave.” They trailed you all the way to the ground floor, the full plates of food heavy weights in your hands as you pushed open the door behind the front reception desk with a foot, kicking it open to allow James and Ms Evers to follow you through. There was a small kitchenette in the corner of the room, Liz and Iris turning from their positions lounged opposite one another on the worn couches that made up the drab common area for the hotel staff. You greeted them warmly before taking the food to the microwave; you put James’ plate in first, stepping aside to allow him to watch his food go round and round in marvelling interest. He flinched slightly when the timer went off, allowing you to push past him to pull open the small door and fish out his plate. It was steaming hot as it placed it before James on the counter, replacing his plate with your own. You were too busy watched your own food get the life revived back into it that you didn’t notice when James picked up a fork that was sat on the side, using it to spear a piece of potato and bring it up to his mouth. He gasped in startled pain as it passed his lips. “No.” You scolded, batting the fork away from his mouth as he chewed fervently, the food too hot in his mouth as he struggled to swallow. “It’s way too hot.” You sighed, rubbing his shoulder as he finally managed to swallow the small piece of food, glaring down at the rest of his plate in vexation. “I’ll get you some water.”
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wiypt-writes · 3 years
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Guilty As Charged
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Guilty As Charged: Bucky Barnes One Shot
Summary: Defence Attorney James ‘Bucky’ Barnes is the absolute bane of your life…
Pairing: Lawyer AU Bucky Barnes x Reader (Frenemies!)
Warnings: Bad language words.
Word Count- Under 2k
A/N:  This was originally posted on my old blog ages ago, but I’ve just given it a little polish and thought, seeing as I’m on the Bucky Train at the moment, I’d bring it back. Also, my knowledge on US Criminal Law is sketchy at best, so humour me…
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this bar reader and any other OCs that may or may not be mentioned. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Bucky Barnes Masterlist // Main Masterlist
*******
In God We Trust, the words set about the Judge’s podium were fixed in your vision, motes of dust moving freely in the rays of sunlight which were streaming through the large, ornate windows of the court room and you took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, concentrating on expelling the nerves you were feeling with the air that left your mouth and lungs.
No matter how many times you were in this position, the reading of the verdict still got to you. Your gaze turned to the jury, as the judge did the same, that all important question ringing across the room, the air stiflingly tense.
“On the charge of murder in the first degree, do you find the defendant or not guilty"
“Not guilty.”
Fuck.
Cheers from the defendants family drowned out your loud groan as you rubbed at your temple. Looking over at your colleague, Sam, you shook your head in utter disbelief.
The judge continued through the remaining charges, second-degree murder and voluntary manslaughter, and your despair grew as the same verdict was returned for each.
You’d lost. And it stung, not merely because of your near perfect conviction rate, but for the family of the victim you were one-hundred percent convinced the accused.
"Y/N this wasn't your fault.” Sam stated in a low voice but you simply sighed again and shrugged.
"I was sure they'd see through his lies,” you glanced over to your right where the defence team, headed up by James Buchanan Barnes of Barnes and Rogers Law firm were shaking hand with each other and their defendant. Barnes' face was arranged in the usual smug look that you always had the urge to slap right off it. His partner, Steve, glanced over at you and gave you a genuine, sympathetic smile.
He’s always the most courteous out of the two, the one you actually didn’t mind dealing with when it came to cases.
"He fucking did it Y/N," Sam's voice was almost a growl, "I know he did."
"Well in the eyes of the law he didn’t." You stated, standing up.
The commotion continued behind you, as the defendant was told he was free to go. Making sure to keep your head down, you hastily shuffled your papers back into their respective files and packed your briefcase up. Picking up your jacket, you shrugged it on, smoothing down pencil skirt before you head to leave the courtroom before Barnes can pipe up with his usual smart ass quips. But you're not quite fast enough. "Commiserations Miss Y/LN, can't win em all." The familiar Brooklyn drawl hit your ears.
"Buck," Steve sighed "c'mon pal..."
You grit your teeth. You know you shouldn't rise to it, but you just can’t help it. The man is an utter jack ass in the courtroom. Spinning to face him, you shot him your best contemptuous glare, the one you always reserve for those people you really cannot stand, and looked at him like he was something you'd just trodden in.
"You know Barnes, there is such a thing as being gracious in victory as well as defeat." "Defeat?” He asked, looking at Steve with a puzzled expression on his face, “no, not sure what that is." "Eat shit.” You mumbled before turning to Sam who was stood behind you, watching the exchange. You nod to him and the two of you continued up the aisle towards the exit. The victim's family were congregated outside and all at once the start barraging you with questions.
"How did that happen?"
"You said it was a cert he would go down!”
"What about a private prosecution?”
You sighed and turn to look at them, you were exhausted. "I'm sorry.” You shook your head. “That new evidence that his attorney submitted, it was just threw too much of a doubt into the juries mind..." you held your hand up to gently silence them. “If you're serious about a private prosecution then I can meet you next week to discuss and put you in touch with a few people but I’m sorry, as far as the State’s involvement goes…I can’t do anymore."
Escaping as quickly as you could, you and Sam headed back to your office. After a short meeting with your boss, the District Attorney, who was as pissed as you were that the prosecution had failed, you emerged feeling twice as tired and battered as you had when you’d left the courtroom.
As Sam stated, there was only one thing left you could do. Drink alcohol. A lot of alcohol.
It was a short walk to your preferred bar, having decided to abandon your car and collect it in the morning. You were going to get drunk. Really drunk. "Hey Y/N, hey Sam." Clint, the bar tender greeted you. “I hear it wasn't a great day.” You looked up and saw he was pointing to the TV behind the bar. It was on a news channel, focussing on a report from earlier that afternoon which wasn’t surprising. The case had thrown up huge public interest ever since the body of the teenage girl has been found in the alleyway in Queens. The defendant confessed but somehow, the new evidence submitted was an alleged recording that the defence had gotten their hands on as proof the confession was taken under duress. If you were being totally honest, you had to admit that it didn't sound great, the officer did seem to be leaning heavily on the defendant, but the other evidence was, no, IS overwhelming.
But all it needed was that little seed of doubt, which the defence sowed expertly, and the jury couldn't convict. And now, thanks to Barnes and Rogers, specifically Barnes, in your mind a dangerous killer was walking free. As you stared at the television, you saw Barnes on the screen with the defendant, all smiles and Steve at his side. Barnes greeted the press with a raised hand. "Clint turn it over man." Sam almost pleaded and Clint shot you both a sympathetic look, before he pointed the remote at and flicked the report over to a mundane, late afternoon game show. You ordered 2 beers, and then settled at the bar on one of the tall chairs, crossing your bare, heeled legs as you and Sam began to dissect the case. You couldn’t help it, you always did this, analyse where you went wrong or right.
The pair of you got that enthralled in your discussions, that before you know it, it was an hour lager and you're now four beers deep... and Sam was fielding an angry phone call from his wife, Natasha. "I gotta go, boss." He sighed, apologetically, “it’s my little girl’s dance recital at six and if I miss this one, Nat’s gonna hang me out to dry!” You waved his explanation off. “Its fine, Sam. Oh, and take the morning tomorrow. That case has had us working all hours and I don’t intend on being there till lunch. Clint, gimme a bourbon please?" "Don't let Barnes get to you.” Sam sighed. “You know what he is like" "Smug, arrogant and annoyingly self-righteous.” You nodded. “Yup, I got it.” Sam smiled and dropped a friendly kiss to your cheek. "See you later." Clint slid the glass of bourbon over to you and you smiled before pulling out your phone to check a few emails and your social media. You were just reading through an article about a Billionaire in Manhattan who had designed some kind of metal suit that allowed him to fly (because that's gonna end well), when a familiar voice broke your concentration. "Can I buy you a drink?" You rolled your eyes and looked up at Bucky Barnes as he leaned on the bar, still in his suit, although he had dispensed of his black and white tie, and opened his top button. This was another thing you hated about him. He is utterly gorgeous. Like GQ cover gorgeous, especially in his sharp suits and silk ties.
And he fucking knows it, too. "Depends." You shrugged, throwing back the remainder of your bourbon. "Does it come with a side helping of irritating smugness?" He chuckled. "I'm off duty, Doll so no."
"In that case I'll have another Monkey Shoulder." You slid the empty glass back to Clint. "Take it you're not driving home?" Barnes asked, his azure eyes running over your bare legs. "Well if I do and I get caught, I'm sure you can get me off any charges.” You replied sharply, shooting him a look that made it clear you caught him eyeing you up. And it isn't the first time either. That's another reason you clash so much in the courtroom. Sexual tension. Fucking jerk. He barked out a laugh "You're really not happy with me are you?" "Not particularly." You shook your head, thanking Clint as he pushed the now full glass back to you, with a small wink. It's a double, you noticed. That should set Barnes back a bit. Bucky reached for his beer and after a pull he looked directly at you. "Come work for me." He said and you groaned.
Not this again. "I'm a prosecutor." You rolled your eyes. "Not a defence attorney. I told you that last time you asked. And the time before, and the time before that." "I'm nothing if not persistent." He winked, turning in his stool so he was facing you. "Besides, I can teach you the ways of the dark side." "You’d love that wouldn't you?" You snort. "Oh, Sweetheart you have no idea." He leaned forward slightly, his elbow on the bar and this time he is blatantly staring at the flash of skin that was showing above the buttons on your blouse. "My face is up here, ass hole." With a smirk he raised his deep, blue eyes and they locked onto yours. Despite yourself, you feel your breath hitch slightly. Dammed him and his sex appeal. "Why are you always this insufferable?" You eventually tore your gaze away from his and picked up your drink, glancing up at the TV as an excuse not to look at him. "Ah come on Y/N, don’t be like that." He reached out to squeeze your hand which was resting on the back of the tall chair you were sat in. "We could make a great team..." You raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "Professionally.” He added, his eyes not leaving yours as he took another large drink of his beer, and you pulled your hand away from under his. "I'd kill you within five minutes of us being in the same office." You glared at him as you took another sip from your drink. He chuckled and eyed you again, “to be fair I'm not sure Stevie would be able to function with a beautiful dame such as yourself in close proximity. He still flusters around any woman that isn’t his Peggy.” "That's because Steve is a happily married man." "So am I." He shot back. Ah yes, Mrs Barnes… "Your wife deserves a medal. She must have the patience of a fucking saint to put up with you." You said into your glass. "I have other hidden qualities which mean she's prepared to overlook my slightly less favourable personality traits." He quipped, and you looked back to see that lopsided grin on his face that flips your stomach. Behave Y/N. "They must be very hidden." You mused, and he let out another loud laugh.   "You're killing me, Doll.” "Good." You drained your glass. The liquid burnt your throat and you could feel the effects of the alcohol from the last few hours as your brain started to hum. You looked at Barnes who was watching you, his eyes shining with all the cheekiness of a teenage boy and you know you need to leave before you do something stupid.
Like snogging his dumb, handsome face off. "I think it's time I got going." You said simply, standing up. Barnes gave a nod, draining his bottle. “Yeah I should be making tracks too. Wife to see to, you know how it is.” You stood and he did the same, and you realised he was holding up your jacket, ready for you to slide your arms into. Narrowing your eyes slightly at his sudden chivalry, you couldn’t help the small smile that flickered across your face as you turned and allowed him to help you into it. His hands dropped to your shoulders and he span you round gently and smiled with those perfect teeth, a smile that lit up his beautiful face, his eyes crinkling in the corners. "Lead the way Mrs Barnes.” He instructed softly, dropping a tender kiss to your lips. "You know it's a good job I love you,” you smiled, sliding your arms up round his neck. "Yeah, I know." "Although right now I'm struggling to remember why." "Well, when we get home I'll just have to show you some of those hidden qualities I was talking about, see if they help jog your memory.” You bit your lip slightly at the dark flash of desire that flit across his eyes, and you leant up to brush your lips across his stubbled jawline. "Unanimous verdict,” your voice drops slightly as you pull back and he smirked again, “guilty as charged.” You tossed Clint a good bye, linked your hand into your husband’s and he walked you outside into the brisk wind, his arm pulling you close, his lips pressed a soft kiss to your temple. Yeah, James Buchanan Barnes might be an insufferable, arrogant ass hole in the courtroom, but outside it he's simply your Bucky.
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hispipsqueak · 3 years
Text
Late Night Calls
Tsukishima x F!Reader (NSFW)
A/N: Finally, writing about the actual love of my goddamn life. I hope you guys enjoy it! Yes I listened to the entirety of Ariana Grande’s discography while writing this.
TW: Daddy kink, sex over video call, semi public sex, dirty talk, exhibitionism (kind of?), mutual masturbation, no actual sex. 
The night was lonely and your bed felt way too big.
You rolled over for the twelfth time that night, looking over to the empty space where your boyfriend, Kei Tsukishima, usually slept. He was away at a game with his team, the Sendai Frogs, and even though you were extremely proud of his accomplishments, you couldn’t help but miss his large hands wrapped around your waist while you slept. You picked up your phone from the nightstand.
3:15 A.M
You groaned into your pillow. You had work in the morning, but without sleep, you knew you were going to be absolutely miserable. You tapped your phone until you found his contact name, and sent a quick text.
“Hey baby! I know you’re probably sleeping. Just miss you. Hope your trip is going well. <3”
You closed out of the app, and began to scroll through social media until your phone vibrated with a new text.
“Isn’t it past your bedtime, little girl?”
You couldn’t help but blush at his words. Tsukishima had a habit of making you feel so small in the best way. Call it an authority kink, but you loved it.
“So bossy. Plus, I can’t sleep without someone stealing my covers.”
You smiled, and curled up against his pillow. You could still smell the faint scent of his body wash embedded in it, which brought you some comfort. Your phone buzzed again.
“Sounds like a personal problem. Sucks to suck.” followed by a yawning emoji. 
You rolled your eyes. Though Tsukishima had definitely matured since high school, he was still a sarcastic jerk when he wanted to be. You looked around, before inspiration struck. You giggled to yourself and pulled the strap of your tank top down. You tousled your hair a bit, and grabbed his pillow, placing it in front of your chest, giving a peek of the top of your chest. Your mouth formed a sultry pout and you snapped a pic and sent it to him.
“I’m too cute to sleep alone.”
You waited for his response, hoping he didn’t fall asleep. What you didn’t expect was the chime, alerting you of a video call request. You accepted and the sleepy face of your boyfriend filled your screen. 
“As much as I agree, you need to get to sleep, doll.” Tsukishima said, his voice low. You figured he was rooming with a couple of his teammates and had to be quiet. His earbuds seemed to confirm this.
“I’m trying, but this bed is like, way too big. And I miss you, loser.” you pouted, knowing there was nothing he really could do but feeling bratty anyway.
His lip twitched with a small smile.  
“I miss you too, brat. But, I’m going to be away for two more days and I’m pretty sure you’ll die if you don’t sleep until then.” Tsukishima, turned and propped himself on his arm. You looked at him and were reminded by how gorgeous he was. His lips were soft and pink, his sleepy eyes were like liquid gold, and you could see the shadow of his Adam’s apple when he spoke again.
“What are you staring at, shortcake?”, he teased and your face flushed. 
“Aren’t I allowed to stare at my hot boyfriend?” You smiled and he rolled his eyes. But even through the phone you could see the blush creep on his cheeks. 
“You’re such a pervert.” He said, clearly at a loss for better insults.
“Like you aren’t. I know you only called me because my tits looked amazing in that picture I sent you.” You said, moving against the wall, so you could tease him with a slightly better view of them.
He parted his lips slightly, before looking back into your eyes. “Well, I certainly can’t argue with that, doll. Though, I might need a refresher, since I’ve been away for so long.”
You smirked at him. “Aren’t you in a room with other people right now? Pervert,”
He cocked his eyebrow and gave you a stare that you felt electrify your body.
“How about you stop being a brat and show me how much you miss me, little girl?” His voice was still low, but commanding. You could feel the heat pool between your thighs.
You slid off your tank top and the urge to cover yourself from his piercing gaze was overwhelming. He could see your arms itching to move to create some sense of modesty.
 “You look absolutely delicious, baby doll. Play with your tits for me.” He said, while his hand found its way to his boxers. You looked at him through your eyelashes and brought your fingers to squeeze and pinch at your nipples. You let out a soft moan.
Tsukishima lightly gripped the base of his cock and began to stroke himself to the private show you were giving him. 
You could see his arm muscles tensing and you licked your lip.
“Let me see how I make you feel, daddy.” you whispered, as your hand began to travel into your shorts.
Tsukishima’s eyes rolled back as he began to squeeze his cock tighter. “Fuck baby girl, I want you so goddamn bad.” 
He repositioned the camera so you could see his hand fisting his cock and your mouth watered at how delicious it looked. His cock was slender and long with a rosy pink tip. You imagined how good it would feel to lap up all of the precum that currently coated it and let out a whimper.
 You moved your camera so it was propped up against the pillows and slid off your shorts and panties. You could hear him let out a soft groan as you ran your fingers over your dripping cunt. You pushed a finger in while your thumb ran over your clit. You dragged your finger around the plush walls of your pussy before pulling out and thrusting back in. You moaned, wishing you were being slammed on his long fingers instead but knowing he was getting off to you had you want to perform a good show for him.
Tsukishima let out heavy, uneven breaths as he watched you play with yourself. He could see you creaming all over your fingers and it dripping down your thighs. He gripped his cock tighter and ran a finger over the slit on top, thinking of how you would leave soft licks on his tip when he had you on your knees. 
“Kei, god it feels so fucking good…” your voice moaned through his earbuds. He watched how you slid another finger into your pussy, and the sounds of your arousal only made his cock grow harder.
“That’s it baby doll, fuck...fuck yourself on your fingers. Be a good girl for me and show me how, fuck, how you cum around those fingers.” Tsukishima groaned, louder than he hoped, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was your moans, your body writhing in pleasure because you belonged to him. He could see you were getting close and he could feel his balls tighten. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer.
“Kei! Fuck, I want to cum for you. Let me cum for you, please daddy.”, you cried, and he could hear the desperation in your voice.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck baby doll. Cum for daddy.” Tsukishima groaned as his hot cum splattered, covering his abs and his fingers. He slowly loosened his grip and gave a couple more tugs to his cock as it shot smaller drops of cum. He watched as you came down from your high and he had the strongest urge to hold you in his arms as you rode out your climax.
You panted as you pulled your soaked fingers out of your cunt slowly. As he watched, you slipped your fingers into your mouth to lick off your juices. 
“Good girl.” Kei whispered, clearly spent but still in control.
You released your fingers with a small pop and pulled your phone close so now your face filled the screen, 
“I guess I can let you go to sleep now, baby!”, you giggled, as your drowsiness began to envelop you.
“Such a brat.”, Tsukishima teased, before rolling over to take off his glasses. He could hear your soft breaths even out and saw your eyes close. He smiled and took a quick screenshot of your sleeping face.
“I love you. I can’t wait to be home, Y/N.”
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divina-yae · 3 years
Text
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐘𝗼𝐮 𝐋𝗼𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐭. 𝐊𝐮𝐫𝗼𝗼 𝐓𝐞𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐫𝗼̄
❥𝘏𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨
✹𝘉𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘒𝘶𝘳𝘰𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵.
Requests are open!!
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It was obvious in his clinginess, how you were someone that he confided in, even in the way that he spoke to you, that Kuroo truly cared for you, maybe even loved you, if you thought about it.
However, it was in some of the other small things that made you doubt it as well. Before you, it was his ex-girlfriend, Sayaka. For almost a year they dated, the two of them being known as Nekoma’s power couple.
That was until Sayaka was caught cheating by Kuroo and his friends. As one of his best friends, you were in charge of picking up the pieces. And you did. So well, in fact, that five months later, the two of you were the new power couple.
Months had past since then, but the feelings of insecurity still lingered. As much as you would’ve loved to chalk it up too silly, nonsensical fears, you couldn’t.
The overwhelming difference in your relationship and and his Sayaka’s were glaringly obvious. Things he wouldn’t hesitate to do with her, he’d never once brought up with you.
Whereas Sayaka proudly wore Kuroo’s volleyball jacket at every game, you’d never once seen it. The cheesy love notes he had you proof read before he put them into her locker had yet to make an appearance in yours.
All the since deleted posts of Sayaka, hadn’t been replaced with even one of the two of you, no matter how many times he’d made it onto your social media accounts.
It was the small, yet significant things like this that had you doubting good feelings. You’d had a first hand view to how much being cheated on had crushed him. Was it possible you were just a rebound, a replacement of convenience?
With every day your insecurities continued to grow out of control. With his growing responsibilities and focus on volleyball, he was beginning to become distant, only adding onto your worries.
Not wanting to distract him or seem overly clingy, you began to pull away, as hard as it was.
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And yet, you still found yourself sitting with Kuroo on his bed. Upon his insistence, he’d placed you in his lap, stating that it’d been far too long since he’d been able to just hold you.
You didn’t bother pointing out that he could only blame his schedule for that.
“(N/N)-chan~” You huffed, amused. “Just call me ‘(Y/N)’, Tetsu, that nickname doesn’t make any sense.
The ravenette chuckled, pressing a small kiss to your shoulder. “Aww, but it sounds so cute!” You laughed a little, leaning back into his embrace.
You repressed your shiver when his lips landed on the curve of your neck. “I’ve missed you... I’m sorry for being so busy lately.” The feeling of his lips dragging over your skin with every word banished your negative thoughts, at least for the time being.
You interlaced your hands with his, which were placed on your waist. “I missed you too, baby.” It was almost embarrassing, really, how easy and effortlessly your boyfriend could put you at ease and wipe every insecurity away with just a few words.
You spun around in his lap so you could wrap your legs around him and lean your head into his shoulder. “Tired, kitten?” He teased softly.
You nodded, pushing away your flutters. “How about we watch a movie, yeah? You pick something and I’ll get snacks.” You grinned at the suggestion, a relaxing night being exactly what you needed.
“Deal!” The captain pressed a quick kiss to your nose before gently lifting you up and off his lap so he could get up. “I’ll be right back, doll!”
You smiled fondly as he left the room and you grabbed the remote. In no time, your opened Netflix and flipped through the different categories.
You went to his list and settled on a show you liked. You pressed pause content to scroll through your phone as you waited.
However, Kuroo’s phone buzzing caught your attention. The notification was the last thing you’d expect from his phone.
‘Log in your cycle today!’ From Flo, the very app you used to track your own period. You blinked, nothing short of surprised at the notification.
“I got popcorn and skittles, your favorite~” Instead of accepting the treat, you stared back at him, a question in your expression.
“Tetsu, do you have a period?” He immediately choked on a mouthful of popcorn, his shock rivaling your own.
“What the hell- no, (Y/N)! What even?” You laughed at his dramatic reaction, showing him his phone. “Then why do you have Flo, you weirdo?” His expression turned sheepish.
“Ah... I used to keep track of... Sayaka’s so I could I be prepared to help out. I guess I just never got around to deleting it.”
Didn’t bother to delete it? It’d been nearly a year. Was he still hung up on her? The one who’d broken his heart?
You didn’t bother to tell yourself you were overreacting when you felt your heart all but plummet. Never once had he bothered to do anything for you during your weeklong suffering.
You quickly thought of an excuse, all the while feeling bile rise in your throat. “Shit, what time is it?! I totally forget I have a test tomorrow! I have to go. Sorry to rush out, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
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Except, he didn’t see you the next day. Or even the day after that. You were going out of your way to avoid him, even going so far as to fake being sick.
Your best friend, (R/N), bright you your schoolwork and was even willing to take it to school for you.
They didn’t pry past what you said willingly and went above and beyond for you. They had truly been your saving grace during these last few days.
You knew you couldn’t hide out forever, but you at least wanted to have your thoughts and feelings together before you saw him.
It was the third day and you were sure that you only had the rest of the day to get yourself together. Your family had caught onto your lack of an actual illness on the first day, but they had been giving you grace. Now, you could tell that you were on thin ice, however.
School had just gotten over, and you were expecting (R/N) to come over to give you your homework and also save you from boredom.
You’d even prepared a quick snack to thank her. Nothing major, just onigiri and some fruit. Just as you went to flip on the television, the door rang.
You smiled, relieved, and bounded over to the door. You opened the door, ready to greet your friend.
“Hey! I made oni-“ “(Y/N)?” A voice interrupted, causing you to snap to attention. Your mouth went dry as you looked up at the one person you weren’t ready to talk to.
“Tetsurō... what are you-“ You started, not at all feeling ready to talk to him. “You’re avoiding me, aren’t you?” You blinked at him, seemingly unable to formulate a coherent response.
“We have to talk. (R/N) told me you were upset, not sick.” Wordlessly, you moved out of the doorway, permitting him entrance.
Here went nothing and everything...
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The room was deathly silent as both you and Kuroo stared back at each other. You were sitting at the dining room, each waiting for other to speak.
As much as you wanted to get this conversation over with, the words just wouldn’t seem to come.
“Will you at least tell me what I did wrong?” He pleaded. You bit your lip, resisting the urge to clutch his shaking hand.
“Tetsurō, I- it’s complicated...” You immediately averted your gaze from his face, the hurt in his expression too much to bear.
“I love you, so much, but... sometimes I don’t believe that you love me like I love you...” A pained sound left his mouth but you pressed on.
“I know how much you... loved Sayaka, and I know how much she hurt you, but Tetsu, I don’t want to be a replacement-“
Arms all crushing you to his chest cut you off, arms belonging to a now sniffling ravenette.
“(Y/N), I-I love you so much, and it hurts that I haven’t made it obvious. Sayaka fell in love with the image of me, the thought that I was some... intimidating bad boy. But you know better than anyone that I’m anything but that.”
You felt your own tears gather at his revelation and you held onto him as he continued. “She got tired of being doted on, or me showing her off. She didn’t like that I was... soft. I didn’t want to lose you because of that so I tried to stop,” He admitted shakily.
You reached up and cupped his face in your hands. “Tetsu, I’ve known you since we were kids. I know you. And that’s the guy I fell in love with. All your ‘soft habits’ are a part of you, and I love all of you. You deserved better than someone who only loved the idea of you, but please don’t let it hold you back from real love.”
Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. “Thank you, I love you, so much, (Y/N),” He cried.
You placed your hands into his hair and on his back as he whispered teary declarations of love into your skin.
“I’m sorry I avoided you, Tetsu,” You murmured. He exhaled shakily and hugged you tighter. “I’m just glad I have you back. I’ve missed you, Angel.”
You pulled back so you could look him in the face. “I promise you’ll always have me.” His smile was wide and genuine as he pulled you back into his warm embrace.
The two of you stayed there for some time, comforting each other until the disparaging atmosphere faded away.
Once you punched Sayaka in her throat, everything would be perfect.
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tobesoalive · 3 years
Text
flume (Josh Kiszka x reader)
sorry about the wait! like I said I'm in the process of moving so I've been quite busy but I'm hoping to get around to my other requests in the next few days. For now though please enjoy this tooth rotting fluff about our favorite little lad!
Warnings: None
Finally, you let out a sigh of relief as you shut your laptop, having just finished writing a paper for a class you were taking over the summer. You had wanted to get a head start on your academics so you could hopefully graduate in the winter, leaving you more time to start your career and life with your amazing, sexy and talented boyfriend.
Joshua Kiszka was the love of your life, the apple of your eye, and you were absolutely obsessed with him. The feeling was mutual, never did a day pass by where Josh didn’t remind you how much you mean to him and how lucky he was to exist in the same universe as you. Yes, he could get a little sappy, but that just made you love him even more.
It was already 10pm, and Josh had been gone for a few hours now, meeting up with the rest of the band and their management team to discuss the upcoming tour over dinner. You were completely fine having a night alone, it actually gave you time to focus on your work rather than your extremely distracting other half. You had just been worried about Josh lately. On the outside he was his usual hyper and positive self, but you know that he has been worrying non-stop about the upcoming tour. It had been a little while since the guys performed live and Josh was riddled with anxiety about it. You knew it would go off without a hitch and that the fans would absolutely love it, but you understood Josh’s feelings and made sure to let him know they were valid and offer your support. To make matters worse the band, specifically Josh, had been gaining attention on social media, with a video of their performance from SNL a couple years ago going viral. There were a lot of people criticizing Josh’s performance and mannerisms, many of them saying he was probably addicted to cocaine or something. That was far from the truth though.
You remember that night, being backstage with Josh and trying to calm his nerves. Not only was he dealing with anxiety but he was also a bit under the weather. Personally you loved the performance, and thought Josh did amazing justice to the song he wrote about you. Everytime you hear “You’re the One” your heart basically beats out of your chest.
Now you just couldn’t wait for the Kiszka boy to be home so you could hear all about his day.
Around 10:30 you heard the door open and you made your way down the stairs from your room. Josh was setting his keys on the counter and before you could even say anything he was covering his face with his hands, obviously trying to hide his expression from you.
“Joshy, baby come here” you said gently as you made your way over to him. You wrapped your arms tight around him, breathing in his wonderful scent, as he finally loosened up and returned the hug. You could feel him softly cry into your shoulder, your hand immediately going to the back of his head, petting his hair and cooing “You’re okay baby, it's going to be okay”.
After a minute he pulled away from the embrace, arms still wrapped around you, with a few tears still running down his face. “Thank you” he said quietly in a hoarse voice, offering a small smile.
“Do you wanna talk about what’s going on?” you ask him, completely fine if he refused.
“I’ve just never been so nervous in my life, and all the backlash and rumors about me online aren’t helping.”
“Babe I’m sorry, I can’t imagine how stressed and overwhelmed you must be. Just know that I personally think you are absolutely astounding, and I’m sure there are millions of people who would agree. You will always have me, no matter what anyone says or even if you completely suck on tour, which I know for a fact you won’t.”
Josh chuckles a little and says “Thanks love, you have such a way with words”
You roll your eyes, “C’mon Josh you know what I’m trying to say, I’ve never been one to sugar coat things now have I?”
He pulls you in again before whispering “I seriously have no idea what I’d do without you, you are my rock and my safe space.”
You pull back only to grab his face in between your palms and give him a passionate kiss.
“Come on lover boy, why don't you go take a warm shower and then we can curl up in bed.”
“That sounds amazing”
You both make your way upstairs and as Josh goes in the bathroom you change into a pair of soft shorts and one of his shirts.
You’re about to go get two glasses of water when your boyfriend pops his head out of the bathroom door.
“Hey, I know it’s kind of a weird question but...I just don’t wanna be alone right now, so would you mind just sitting in here while I shower?”
“Not at all” you say, giving him a reassuring smile.
You go in the bathroom and leave the door open, Josh is in just his boxers as you hop up onto the counter and sit with your back against the wall. He peels his last garment of clothing off as you steal a quick peek at his ass, what can you say, it’s pretty damn cute.
As he shampoos his hair and soaps up his body you two talk about nothing in particular, just doing your usual silly bickering about different film meanings or which John Denver song is the best.
Once he gets out, he quickly pats himself off with a towel, throwing on a pair of soft tan shorts.
As he assumes his position in your bed you go grab the glasses of water you had intended to earlier. After coming up and handing him his cup you get under the covers and pull them up only about halfway. You wrap yourself around Josh, knowing that in his vulnerable state you need to be the big spoon and cradle him like he usually does for you.
You press a few kisses to his temple and the back of his neck before saying goodnight.
“Thank you again, for everything. It is impossible to put into words how much it means to me, how much YOU mean to me.”
“You don’t even need to use words baby, I feel it all the time, I’m convinced our souls are intertwined.”
“And that makes me the luckiest guy on earth”
“And I am the luckiest girl. I love you, try and get some sleep baby”
You’re able to catch his last few words before you drift off into a peaceful sleep.
“You’re my one.”
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it’s been a minute...
but almost five months into 2021 and this year has already been way better in some aspects (for me personally) than last year. i don’t know if it’s because i’ve taken a bit of a step back from the sims community and most social media (i still go on twitter occasionally), or because i’m doing a lot of new things that make me happy, or both; but 2021 has been pretty alright so far.
tl:dr is i’m learning a bunch of new things, re-learning some things i used to know, continuing some of my favourite things, my hair is blue now, and I’m just generally doing things that make me happy instead of forcing myself to do things others want/expect me to do. If you wanna know what those things are I’ve put some info under a cut 😊
buying a house — mr sandwich and i have been looking at buying a house since last year but this year, hopefully that will become a reality... if covid would feck off and and even bigger IF i can ever stop procrastinating and get together all the documents we need for the home loan hehe 
continuing learning chinese — been at it for 160+ days now (the screenshot is from about a week ago) and still really enjoying it. i’ve reached the point where when i’m watching anything in chinese and i’m not looking at the screen or don’t have the subtitles on i can work out the generally gist of what’s being said by catching words i know. it was weirdly exciting (and made me kind of proud) the first time i understood a full sentence that was more than a few words long without there being any subtitles!
re-learning korean — because apparently i’m not enough of a masochist to just stick to take on one of the most difficult languages to learn (chinese), i also decided to start re-learning korean as well. i took korean classes all through primary school and high school but never kept up with it after i left and i’ve forgotten most of what i learned since then. it’s something i’ve always regretted (especially since i left school the year before my korean class went on a trip to seoul!), so i figured why not start from the beginning and re-learn it this year? it’ll help a lot now that i’m watching k-dramas and listening to a lot more k-pop lol
maybe thai as well — yup, thai dramas are fun to watch too so why not throw that in the mix as well. although, it might be a little harder to do because duolingo is frustratingly unhelpful in this area. apparently they’d rather people learn klingon and high valyrian than an actual useful language like thai, i guess? so if you know of any apps or sites that have good thai lessons let me know! i’d also like to learn japanese one day too but i think 2-3 languages is enough for now lol
re-learning keyboard/piano — my nan taught me to play when i was younger but, like korean (and a bunch of other things), i didn’t keep up with it after i left high school. so since 2021 is apparently a year of learning for me, and since electronic keyboards are less expensive than cellos (something else i never kept up with after high school), i figured i’d buy a cheap one and teach myself how to play again! there are a bunch of other instruments i’d also like to learn (kalimba, xiao, guqin, theremin, violin) and re-learn (cello, guitar, drums) as well but for now i’ll just stick with one lol 
listening to k-pop — listen, i know i’m late to the k-pop train but i’m here now and i’m enjoying the ride. i’ve listened to it casually in the past but never really considered myself a “fan” until recently. i’m slowly working my way through different groups (mostly boy groups because i just can’t seem to get into the girl groups) listening to their music and getting to know the members, it’s a lot like learning a new language because a lot of the groups have so many members LOL i’m currently listening to and loving ATEEZ! if you have any recommendations, feel free to fire them at my inbox! 
still diamond painting — it’s been almost exactly a year since i first started diamond painting and i’m still just as obsessed with it as i was back then. it’s weirdly satisfying placing each drill one at a time (i never use multi-placers, masochist remember? LOL) and seeing the picture slowly come together.
still journaling — sometimes i find it really hard to focus on and remember what i need to do each day and i quickly become overwhelmed and annoyed with myself when i can’t do even the most simple tasks that other people have no problems with. i’d honestly be completely lost without my journal, not to mention it’s just fun to plan out, draw, and colour a different theme every month! also, that pic is from my march pages, look at my crazy sleep tracker! normal sleep schedule who?
anyway, so that’s what i’ve been up to. nothing terribly exciting and not at all sims-related (i rarely open my game at all these days) but i figured since it’s been quite a while since i posted anything here i should probably let people know i’m not dead; i’m just enjoying other hobbies/activities. I may come back to posting regularly on tumblr and making cc at some point but i’m not in a rush because honestly, i’m the happiest i’ve been in a long time and that’s all that really matters 😊
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aomine-ryo · 3 years
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hi!! could i please request aomine + kise w a super insecure s/o but she doesn’t really say anything about it? but overtime the boys see how closed off she seems w everything ? aaa sorry if this doesn’t make sense
It made sense, don’t worry!! I hope you like this x
Scenario: Kise and Aomine with an insecure s/o
Kise
You loved dating Kise— you really did. As someone who had tendencies to worry about what others thought of you as well as be over-critical on yourself, being with him was quite refreshing. His bubbly personality and constant reassurance definitely helped you gain some self-love that you probably wouldn’t have been able to find without him.
There was one issue though. Kise was a rather popular person, being a model and all. For the first few months of your relationship, you managed to stay hidden by not going out in public with him too often. Of course, the two of you couldn’t always have dates at each other’s houses because there were so many places Kise wanted to take you, so you slowly began to go out together.
It didn’t take long for rumours to go around about your relationship, considering Kise’s popularity as a model was growing quite rapidly at this point. At first, you didn’t mind too much because they were just rumours and no one could confirm nor deny it per say. Furthermore, you felt quite happy knowing that Kise was all yours, and that you were in a relationship where you lifted each other up, so what others said about it wasn’t something you were concerned about.
However, that was until people started sneaking pictures of the two of you in public. You didn’t notice anything as it happened because you were caught up with Kise, but a few hours after you returned home, your social media was plastered with mentions as people tagged you in photos with your boyfriend. Looking at the surge of those photos made you begin to feel overwhelmed. You couldn’t help but read what people had to say about it, even though you knew you’d probably regret it.
At first, you didn’t really see anything too bad. Things like ‘Oh a new couple! How cute’ and ‘They’re adorable together, Kise-kun looks so happy’ seemed to be scattered amongst more surprised and sceptical comments that questioned the validity of the photos. And then you found the hate.
‘Yikes. Why is Kise dating someone like that?’, ‘No offense but Kise can do better’, ‘Did they pay Kise to date them or something? I never imagined him actually dating someone like that lol’ along with many other comments of that sort was soon all you saw. The nicer comments that were sprinkled here and there suddenly lost all its value as the meaner ones were all you seemed to look at.
You switched your phone off and put it aside as you began to feel your throat close up. As your brain began to question your self worth, a few tears managed to escape, even though you were trying so hard not to let it get to you. Maybe they were right? was all you could think about as you slowly but surely beat yourself up about it.
“Y/N-cchi! Are you free after school?” Kise chirped as you met up with him at recess a few days later.
“Probably. Why?”
“Let’s go on a date! There’s this boba café nearby that I think you’d really like,” he said with a smile, cheery as ever.
“I’m not sure. I think I’ll have to pass,” you said softly. You really didn’t want any more online attention than you were already getting.
“Why not?” he pouted.
You looked up at his frowning face and felt a wave of guilt. You made him sad. The comments were right. You don’t deserve him. “I just don’t feel like it,” you shrugged, pinching yourself.
“You’ll feel better when you try their drinks— trust me. It’ll be fun,” Kise said, giving you a smile that never failed to make your heart melt.
With a heavy sigh, you nodded slightly, “Alright I guess we can go then.”
Kise’s face lit up once again as his arms wrapped around you so tight that you felt like you couldn’t even breathe. “Yay, a date with Y/N-cchi!” he sang.
After school, the two of you walked to the cafe together. The weather was quite pleasant, and the bright yellow sun definitely improved your mood ever so slightly. As you walked, Kise took your hand in his like he usually would, but almost instantly, you pulled it away from him, gaining a look of confusion in response.
“What’s wrong, Y/N-cchi?” Kise asked, concerned.
“It’s nothing. My palms are just a bit sweaty, so I don’t think you’d wanna hold my hand,” you lied. You couldn’t help but be on edge in the case that someone was watching you.
“They felt fine to me, don’t worry about that,” Kise said, reaching for your hand once again.
You couldn’t really think of anything else to say to refuse without garnering any questions from him, so you reluctantly let him hold your hand, looking around anxiously. This keeping an eye out lasted for quite some time and Kise seemed to notice that your attention wasn’t fully directed towards him like it normally would be.
“Y/N-cchi, are you really sure everything is okay? You’ve barely even looked at me today,” Kise said as the two of you sipped on your drinks in the cafe.
“I’m fine,” you answered simply, over-correcting your actions by focusing on Kise and pretending everything was okay.
“Really? You seem really nervous,” Kise said.
“Ryouta, I’m fine, don’t worry,” you said, trying to sound as reassuring as possible.
“If there’s ever anything worrying you, you can tell me,” he said sincerely, placing his hand on top of yours and giving it a tight squeeze. “You know that, right?”
For a moment you really considered telling him what’s been bothering you, but you were afraid. You thought that it was really stupid of yourself to get affected so much by something like this and you didn’t want him to judge you for it— even though you were aware that he’d never do that.
“I know,” you nodded as you leaned back in your seat, filled with uncertainty and regret.
Once again, when you got back home, you were met with even more pictures of you and Kise from your date. You noticed that you had a frown on your face in pretty much all the photos. And of course the comments seemed to notice too.
‘lol his date doesn’teven look like they want to be there’, ‘that person looks annoying, why’s Kise dating someone like that’, ‘if I were with Kise I’d probably pay more attention to him than they are’.
Day by day, the comments increased. Kise’s agency managed to be able to keep the tabloids relatively silent about it. There were small articles here and there, but none of them were all too bad. However, there was no way they could control what was being said on the internet. Kise did call you up to remind you not to be too concerned about what people were saying. In fact, he urged you to do what he does and avoid the comment sections completely. But at that point, it was already too late. Looking at what others said about you online quickly became a daily thing, sending you down a spiral of self-destruction that only got worse.
Slowly, you began to avoid going outside and started making more and more excuses to not go out with Kise. You did still really like spending time with him, but the only time you were truly comfortable was when you were somewhere private with no other people around, and that wasn’t something Kise could do too often because he liked going outside.
He’d invite you to hang out with his friends every so often but you’d always refuse, saying that you were too busy. In all honesty, you hated lying to him but you felt like you had to.
One afternoon, you were laying down in bed after a tiring day of school and scrolling through comments yet again, when you heard the doorbell ring. It was Kise.
“Ryouta? What are you doing here?” you asked with a confused expression. “Don’t you have practice?”
“Yeah but you didn’t come to watch so I got worried,” Kise explained as he stepped into your house. “What happened, Y/N-cchi? You always watch my practice.”
“I’m sorry, I just didn’t feel too well,” you replied, your eyes fixed on the floor.
“What? Are you okay?” Kise asked, in a slightly panicked tone as his hand immediately reached for your forehead to check your temperature. “You seem fine.”
You responded with nothing but silence as you pursed your lips and continued to stare at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
Kise leaned down to try and meet your gaze. “Y/N-cchi, what’s really going on? You’ve been really distant lately. Have you gotten tired of me or something?” Kise asked, his usual cheery voice suddenly going all soft.
“No, it’s nothing like that,” you shook your head, surprised that he’d even think of something like that.
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know,” you mumbled.
“Y/N-cchi, please tell me what’s going on so that I can help. I really hate seeing you like this. I can’t remember the last time I saw a genuine smile from you, which sucks because I really like your smile,” Kise said as he cupped your face in his hands and tilted your head up to look at him in the eye.
You felt tears well up in your eyes as you thought back to all the things you’ve read about yourself. Kise genuinely cared for you and you told yourself yet again that you really don’t deserve him. “I just don’t feel very confident going out so much with you,” you admitted softly.
“What? Why’s that?” Kise asked, amber eyes filled with concern and worry.
“Because there are people who sneak photos of us and post them online. And the comments are always just so... mean,” you said, your voice breaking as tears began to roll down your cheeks.
“Didn’t I tell you not to look at those? What did they say?”
“T-That I’m not good enough for you, and that I don’t deserve you,” you replied, sobbing like a baby at this point.
“And you’re going to believe what a bunch of random people say about you?” Kise said, which silenced you for a moment as you thought about it. “Listen Y/N-cchi, you’re beautiful and kind and one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. I’m the luckiest person in the world because I get to call you mine. If anything, I don’t deserve you— I mean it. No one could ever make me think that you’re not good enough because in my eyes you’re my everything,” Kise said, voice so soft and tender that it just filled your body with warmth.
“Are you sure?” you asked, unable to process the fact that this boy had so much love for you.
Kise pecked your lips and gave you a smile. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”
“I’m sorry for not talking about it to you sooner and acting so aloof,” you said.
“It’s okay. We can take it slow and just spend more time alone, alright?” Kise said as he wiped your tears away with his thumb.
“Yeah, that would be nice,” you sniffled.
“I hope you can see yourself the way I see you someday. You’re really amazing, Y/N-cchi. I love you so goddamn much,” he said, honey eyes full of care and sincerity as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead.
You couldn’t help but smile at the sound of those words that made your heart skip a beat, “I love you too, Ryouta.”
Kise’s face brightened up again as he too began to grin, “There’s that gorgeous smile— I’ve missed it.”
Aomine
Aomine was aware that you had times where you felt insecure every now and then and of course, he did his best to minimise it and check up on you to make sure you were alright. He seemed to be doing a fairly good job as well because your confidence was rather stable for a while.
One of the main reasons he’d always check up on you was because he was really slow on picking up when you did feel insecure. You were the kind of person to sit quietly and deal with your issues by yourself rather than reach out for help so that made it slightly difficult for him sometimes. Along with being slow at noticing, Aomine was often one to take things for granted. So when you seemed to be all happy and confident, he’d slowly begin checking up on you lesser and lesser.
You never realised how much you valued the attention from him though until it began to reduce. You seemed to have become emotionally dependent on Aomine and by the time you realised it, it was a little too late.
Slowly, as days went by, you began to feel more and more unsure about yourself as Aomine got busier. The Winter Cup was just around the corner and he was caught up with practices that he didn’t have as much time to tend to you. Nevertheless, he still went out of his way to call you up or visit you during his free time, though that time was never enough for you to open up about how you felt.
You weren’t sure when it happened, but before you knew it, your mind was clouded with dark thoughts that criticised your appearance and abilities. You’d often stand in front of the mirror and pick yourself apart piece by piece, feeling nothing but hatred towards the person that looked back at you.
You stopped enjoying the things you’d normally enjoy too. Things like art and reading became a burden as every time you’d pick up a pencil, you’d hate every stroke you made, and you couldn’t immerse yourself into books anymore because your mind would only just wander off into thoughts about the things you wanted to escape.
“Hey babe, how are you doing today?” Aomine said when you picked up his phone call one evening.
“I’m okay, are you heading back from practice?” you asked, able to hear a faint sound of footsteps in the background.
“Yep. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” he sighed.
“Didn’t you see me in school today?” You pointed out.
“Barely. Besides, that was hours ago. I miss you,” Aomine said.
“I miss you too,” you replied, hearing his voice somehow put a small smile on your face.
“Can we FaceTime instead? I want to see you,” he requested, which immediately wiped the smile away.
“I don’t think so,” you said, shaking your head even though he couldn’t see you.
“Why not? You can’t just keep that pretty face to yourself, you know. It’s not fair.”
“I look anything but pretty, trust me,” you said, playing it off as a joke even though you actually meant it.
“Oh come on. Please?”
“I said no, Daiki,” you snapped suddenly, shocking both you and Aomine. You definitely didn’t want to put yourself on video, however you didn’t realise how defensive you were about it until that point. But you stood by it.
There was a moment of silence as you took in what just happened before Aomine let out a heavy sigh. “Alright. It’s fine then I guess,” he said. There was definitely a change in his tone after that. What was previously an energetic and happy sound, was now more lukewarm and mellow, and you couldn’t help but feel responsible for it.
And now there was one more thing for you to beat yourself up over.
Aomine finally had a few days off of practice, and of course, the first thing he wanted to do was spend time with you. So he called you up.
“Hey, do you want to go out for a movie or something? I finally have some free time,” Aomine asked you.
“Um, I’m not sure. I don’t think I feel too well,” you said. The last place you wanted to go was outside. You had to walk to the convenience store the other day and you absolutely hated it because you felt like everyone was judging you in some way or the other, even though in reality, no one really looked at you for more than a second.
“Really? Is everything okay? Do you need to go to the doctor?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. I guess I’m just not feeling up to it,” you said.
“Then how about we do something tomorrow?” he suggested.
“I don’t know...”
“Y/N, I barely get to see you anymore. Are you sure you’re not avoiding me or something?” Aomine questioned, being more straightforward not to mask his hurt.
“I’m not.”
“Then why don’t you want to spend time with me?”
“I don’t know,” you mumbled, feeling overwhelmed at the pressure you felt to not make him hate you even more.
“Y/N, that’s not an answer,” he sighed.
You responded with silence as you finally decided to shut yourself up before you made things worse. With one more disappointed sigh, Aomine ended the call. The sound of the ringing finally caused you to break down into tears. You finally reached rock bottom. You chased away the one person who actually cared about you. He probably hates you now too.
Meanwhile, Aomine was striding towards your house after ending the phone call. It may have been a bit cruel to just cut it without saying a goodbye, but the frustration just took over. You weren’t even responding at that point so Aomine just decided to see what was wrong for himself. It took you a while to answer the door, and when you did, there was a forced smile on your tear stained face as you let him in.
“I’m sorry for cutting the call short. What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked.
No response. You just stared at the floor.
Aomine’s hand reached for your cheek, “Hey, were you crying—“
He stopped when you flinched and shifted away before he could lay a finger on you. “I’m fine, it’s nothing,” you said coldly, wrapping your arms around your body and clenching your shirt.
“You won’t even let me touch you. Did I do something wrong?” Aomine asked, trying to think about whether or not he’d done anything to upset you recently. However, nothing added up as he barely saw you— there was no way he could’ve done anything.
You hated every moment of this. All you could think about was how you probably looked awful at that moment. He came so suddenly that you didn’t get a chance to fix yourself. Furthermore, you’d just been crying so you probably looked like a train wreck. He is definitely thinking about how bad I look, you thought. You didn’t want to find out though, so you just avoided all eye contact.
“You’re really not going to even talk to me?” Aomine asked, and as he expected there was yet again no response. He sighed. “Fine then. I’m not leaving your house until you tell me what’s going on.”
You watched as Aomine walked further into your house. He went straight into the kitchen, and you, not knowing what else to do, trailed behind him as he began to check the cabinets.
“I’m starving. Have you eaten lunch yet?” Aomine turned his head to look over at you. You shook your head. “Alright. I’ve been learning how to cook. I’m not guaranteeing a gourmet meal, but it should be edible... hopefully,” he said, beginning to pull out different ingredients.
“I’m not hungry,” you mumbled.
“Did you eat breakfast?”
“No.”
“Yeah I thought so. I’m making us some food,” he said dismissively.
You knew Aomine was stubborn so you didn’t try to argue any more because he’d make it no matter what you say.
You watched him walk up and down the kitchen and do his thing in silence. You really weren’t sure what he was trying to make. There were so many different ingredients that just didn’t make sense, but you just stood and watched.
About half an hour went by without a word from either of you. Aomine began humming a song as he stood over the stove, which strangely made you feel more at ease. As he stirred the pot, he seemed so harmless that you began to finally calm down and build up the courage to tell him.
Almost as if he could read your mind, he finally spoke up, “You ready to say something to me yet?
Another moment of silence passed by as you bit your lip in hesitation. Aomine was just about to let out another disappointed sigh when you muttered, “I’ve just been feeling really insecure lately.”
Hearing your voice caught Aomine off guard for a moment. Even though he was the one who asked you to speak up, a part of him was expecting nothing to happen yet again. He switched off the stove, wiped his hands and turned to face you, leaning against the counter as he did so. “Insecure? About what?”
“I don’t know. I just hate how I look. And everything I do feels so inadequate. Plus I haven’t gotten to see you in a while so I got the feeling that you probably hate me by now. I’m acting like a brat now, after all,” you said, voice soft but the pain was evident.
“I want to start off by saying, I could never hate you. You’re always on my mind Y/N. Why do you think I like to call you so much? Actually, why do you think I came all the way over here? It’s because I care about you,” he said.
You finally looked up at him again. He looked as gorgeous as ever. And this dark blue eyes were gentle and caring. Maybe you were overthinking it.
Aomine took you getting your eyes off the floor as a good sign. So he took a few steps closer to you. “And I get how you feel about the other stuff. I feel like that too sometimes. But honestly, I find you absolutely beautiful. I really don’t know how much weight my words have, but that’s what I think. You’re also so smart and talented, I really just think you need to be a little kinder to yourself,” he continued.
And just like that, the waterworks went for round two. You didn’t know how much you needed to hear those words until right then.
Aomine felt his heart ache at the sight of you in this state. He hesitated for a moment because of what happened when he tried to touch you earlier, but he soon wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tight. Almost immediately, you too wrapped your arms around him and sobbed into his chest, the smell of his cologne making you feel safe at your most vulnerable moment.
“I’m so sorry for being so distant. I’ve been so awful. I should’ve talked to you,” you cried. It was a bit difficult for Aomine to understand what you were saying through the tears but he processed it a few moments later as his fingers brushed through your hair reassuringly.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he said softly as he pulled away and held your shoulders so he could look you in the eye. “I’m just glad you told me.”
You nodded as you tried to stop yourself from crying.
“Here,” Aomine said, as he pulled off the black dog tag necklace he wore and put it around your neck. “It’s not much, but think of it as a reminder that you’re always amazing in my eyes.”
You felt your heart burst as you became teary-eyed again, except this time it was out of gratefulness.
“...is that too lame?” Aomine asked as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly when you didn’t say anything.
You immediately shook your head. “No, it means a lot. I-I love you.”
A smile spread across Aomine’s face. “I love you too, Y/N,” he said. “Alright, I’m gonna finish making our food, okay?”
“Sure,” you nodded as you watched him return to the stove. “But, can I ask what exactly you’re trying to make?”
“Um, ramen?”
You began to giggle, “Babe, I don’t think you should put tomato sauce in ramen.”
“Oh, right... I knew that.”
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Text
How it begins|| Seblaine
                                                                                                 Saturday night
Saturday nights had been going a bit of the same way lately; Blaine would finish up at the store, Kurt would be blowing off steam with his castmates after a rehearsal, or once their show opened, Blaine would go and see it.  There was a reason why the shop stayed closed Sunday’s, that was for family, and what was Kurt if not family?  They’d been in each other’s lives since they were teenagers, engaged off and on for most of that time as well.  Every time they went to set a date and begin wedding planning in earnest, something came up.  Not to mention that right now, they weren’t even living together, Kurt being stressed about the opening of his show, and a stressed Kurt often resulted in bickering which would escalate into a real fight.  
With matinees both Saturday and Sunday, that often meant Kurt would go home instead of to Blaine’s on a Saturday night.  Blaine in turn would come home from Kurt’s show and go online.  Check his email, scroll through social media, etc. It was a lonely way to spend a night, if he was honest. Which was how he ended up here, a Saturday night at home, and finding himself in a a discord server dedicated to New York City History.  It was interesting, if a bit overwhelming, but there was one particular person who Blaine found himself agreeing with more often than not. 
Taking a chance and being brave,  Blaine clicked the direct email link for NY 152.
To: NY 152
From: Shopboy
RE:NYC
Hi there,
I hope it’s okay that I just messaged  you like this.  But I wanted to say I agree with so much about what you’ve been saying about New York City.  These are some of the reasons why I’ve always wanted to live in NYC and why I came as soon as I could.  Have you lived here all your life?  Sorry if that’s too personal, I’m kind of new to this. 🤓
Just call me Shopboy.
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@sebastianmartinsmythe​
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misora-msby · 4 years
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scarred love.
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rating : mature
word count : 4.3k
themes : angst, slight fluff, implied and mentions of sex
notes : based on vistlip’s CLASSIC OPERA // this is my first work on this blog, i hope you enjoy!
“I don’t think he loves me anymore.”
“No way… That’s not the case, I’m sure!”
“That’s what I want to think but…”
Suna could barely believe as he stood outside the bedroom door, hand barely making contact with the handle. Was that really what you thought? 
“I wonder if it’s normal for couples to fall out of love at this stage.”
“Mm… there’s certainly been couples I’ve known like that. They were in love for years but after they got married they decided it wasn’t the life for them and divorced.”
Suna heard your gasp follow the tinny voice from the phone. He had heard of similar stories before but never thought it would happen to him and you. 
Ever since you had gotten together, he was always subtle in his love. He was never the type to outright say “I love you” in public or to boldly proclaim his love for you on social media. Suna preferred linking pinkies while walking or to post photos of your study dates with simple captions like “another ‘10 minute break’” or “we are going to collapse”. 
Despite this, when you were in the privacy of your apartment, he almost never left your side. It was either his head on your lap, his legs laying over yours on the couch, or you sitting on his lap in some way albeit still being relatively quiet. 
So to think you were getting upset with the little attention he was showing recently had him confused. Wasn’t he always like this?
“But Y/N, I doubt Suna-san’s fallen out of love. Isn’t it just that his new job with EJP Raijin is keeping him busy?” 
“Y-Yeah but… he hasn’t said anything about it. He comes back late and leaves early and it just… It just sucks so much! I don’t know what to do!” you sob and Suna can hear the sound of you blowing your nose and coughing through your tears. 
Taking a step back from the bedroom door, the middle blocker moved to the couch and sat for a moment, head in his hands. He knew love couldn’t be perfect. A perfect relationship without fights or problems was just waiting to crumble from the slightest crack in it. But he wanted to at least prevent you from thinking this way. 
He wanted you to know he did love you. 
Later that night, he crawled into the bed, freshly showered and in his pyjamas - an old thin t-shirt and a pair of boxers. You laid beside him in your own pyjamas - one of his big t-shirts and a pair of shorts. 
“Y/N,” he turned onto his side and called your name, causing you to almost jump while attempting to fall asleep with your swirling thoughts.
“Yes, Rin?” 
“You have a free day tomorrow too, don’t you?”
“Well… yes. Why?”
The bed shifted under his movement to hold himself over you. 
“W-Wait a second! Rin! I’m not prepared or anything- mmf!” 
He pressed his lips to yours, his fox-like eyes shut delicately as he kissed you passionately. Before you knew it, his hands moved to your sides and began to lift the edge of the shirt up, but were quickly pushed down. 
“Rintarou,” you lightly pushed on his chest, “I uh… I’m not wearing any nice underwear… A-And I haven’t shaved. Can I go change and do that?” 
Honestly you were very surprised that he suddenly wanted to do this. Suna was always one to do things out of the blue; your relationship was built on impromptu dates and spontaneous gifts he claimed ‘reminded him of you’, but this really had came out of nowhere. 
You hadn’t been intimate in weeks and you wanted to at least look good for it, but Suna just shook his head. 
“You’re fine like this. I love you however you look.” He leaned back down and began to place kisses along your jaw and neck. 
His kisses were softer than usual, you noted. And his hands weren’t rushing to tear your clothes off like he usually did.
“Rin- ah! Rintarou, why are you doing this all of a sudden?”
“We’re both free tomorrow. Can’t I spend my free day with my girlfriend the way I want to?” he asked, looking up at you through his thin lashes. 
“Still! That gives me more time to go get ready.”
“No,” he shook his head and continued to kiss and bite along your neck and collarbones, leaving his marks of love on your skin, “I want to spend every second that I can with you now that I have the time.”
“Wait a second.”
Suna finally pulled his lips away from your skin, now littered with little marks, “What’s wrong?”
“Since when were you so romantic? It just… Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy it’s just a little funny…” 
His eyes widened at the sight of tears welling up in your eyes.
“Y/N, are you okay?” he asked, cupping your face in his large rough hands gently. 
“I’m more than okay! No… I don’t know why I’m crying…” you sob softly, rubbing at your eyes. 
Suna chuckled lightly. “Is it because you’re filled with overwhelming love for me?”
“Rintarou!” you whined and hit his chest lightly. “You’re absolutely insufferable!”
“You say that but you were the one who asked me out on our graduation.” 
“...you little shit. I really do love you.” 
“Mm, I thought so. I love you too.” He continued to kiss and strip you.
Unlike your usual nights together which were spent fucking roughly, leaving bodies sore and lightly scarred, tonight was slow and loving albeit passionate as ever. Soft kisses and laughs were exchanged in the dark as Suna made love to you, thrusting slowly while mumbling words of love into your body. 
The next morning, you were woken up by the feeling of a kiss on your forehead. Your eyelids fluttered open and you squinted in the morning light to see Suna sitting on his side of the bed, clad only in boxers. There was also the scent of eggs and toast, and when you looked down, you saw it sitting on a plate between you two.
“I’m no Osamu here. But I think my cooking is still edible,” your boyfriend sighed before flopping down onto the bed beside you and closing his eyes. 
“You actually woke up to cook for me?” you asked, sitting up to look at the sunny-side-ups with broken yolks and the toast that was just a little too toasted for your liking. 
“Surprised myself too,” he yawned before squinting his eyes open, “More like… I wanted to surprise you. And wake you up with a kiss.”
“You’re so cheesy today, aren’t you!”
“I know, I think it’s weird too.”
On that day, you knew he still loved you. And you loved him more than ever before.
But that happiness couldn’t last forever. In the city of Tokyo where sadness and troubles rained down, something was bound to happen. Even the most heavily cemented cracks could once again break under a heavy enough pressure. 
Even if it took a couple of months.
“Rintarou! Welcome home!”
“Mm.”
Your brow furrowed slightly as you noticed his short answer. After shutting your laptop where you were answering some work related emails while waiting for your boyfriend, you made your way over to Suna who was hanging his winter coat by the door.
“Rin, are you alright?”
“Just tired.”
You sighed softly, “You shouldn’t overwork yourself. You need breaks sometimes too, you know?” And reached up to begin massaging his shoulders as you usually did. But he only pushed your hands away quickly, saying, “Not tonight,” before walking further into the apartment.
You bit your lower lip to prevent it from trembling any further while your hands stayed still as if frozen mid air. You were hesitating to tell him what you wanted to say earlier.
“Rintarou… Tomorrow you don’t have scheduled practice, right? I…” you took a deep breath as he turned to face you, eyes dark and heavy-looking. 
“Yeah.”
“I was wondering… Well, I don’t have work tomorrow either so I reserved a place at a nice restaurant for dinner! I think we both need a bit of a break, work’s been so busy and you’re also training so intensely and-”
“No.”
“H- Huh?” you laughed nervously, “What do you mean by ‘no’?”
“It means what it means, I don’t want to go.”
“Rintarou, you can’t just- I can’t- I promise it’s a really nice place! A-And I wanted to spend some time with you…” there was a lump welling up in your throat as you tried not to suddenly pour out your recent feelings towards him. 
The recent frustrations of not being able to spend much time with your boyfriend anymore, the annoyance at the way he would always spend his free time doing self training, the anger towards his schedule which rarely ever allowed you to meet, the sadness of the fact that your shared apartment no longer had the sound of laughter when you two played games or watched silly YouTube videos together...
All that frustration felt like it was just being held up behind that lump in your throat, and to think he would simply dismiss it without a second thought.
“You should’ve asked before you started making plans. I’m going to the gym tomorrow again. We have a match against the Red Falcons in two weeks so I need to become at least a bit stronger,” Suna explained monotonously, as if you should have known that already.
“I- I know but… I thought… it’d be a nice surprise…”
The man sighed and turned to walk towards the bathroom, ready to just shower and go to sleep. He simply could not be bothered to argue with you, thinking this problem would solve itself like it always did. But you had had enough of this issue.
Suna hadn’t even realised it was coming until he felt a small bell keychain hit the back of his head. It fell to the hardwood floor with a loud clang which lasted for far too long, causing him to inhale sharply and turn around, anger and annoyance replacing the bored expression on his face for once. 
“What the hell is-” he was about to raise his voice until he saw the way your features trembled and your eyes had already become red and puffy. His own features softened and his body unstiffened. “Y/N…”
“You know, the least you could do is try to be nice to me!” you yelled, furiously wiping away the tears forming. “You could at least say “Mm, I’m really not free but we can do it some other time.” or some shit like that! But no! I- I’m busy too, you know! I’m trying to get promoted so I don’t have to rely on yer dumb ass all the time, but I still want to make time for you because I love you so much! But I don’t think ya get that!” 
Something in the back of your mind was telling you not to say these things, that maybe you could just talk this out calmly. Maybe you didn’t have to explode, but something else told you this was the only way to get a point across.
“I’m your girlfriend, but I feel more like a roommate or burden at this point! Ya know, even ‘Tsumu’s able to make time for his girlfriend! And- And Bokuto’s always doing his promotions and ads but still makes time for his boyfriend! Ojiro-senpai too! Miyu-chan tells me he’s the one planning the dates! But ya can’t even be bothered to pretend you’re happy I tried ta plan somethin’ for us!” 
Suna knew you really were angry when your dialect started coming out but he just didn’t know what to say. He could only stand there in silence with his head hanging like a child being scolded.
“Rintarou… I love you so much you know… I just wonder these days- no, I just wonder if you ever loved me back the same way.”
Oh, he knew. Ever since that night when he heard you crying on the phone, he knew he wasn’t doing enough. 
“I… I’m sorry.” Suna looked up when he suddenly heard those words from you amidst the sobs and chokes. 
“I already left your pyjamas on the bathroom counter… Please don’t… Just please don’t talk to me tonight.” you hurried to the tiny kitchen to wash your face as he silently made his way to the bathroom, thoughts swirling around in his head. 
Suna stared at your figure silently for a second before bending down to pick up the bell - a cheap gift he had given you for your third month together right after you two first started university. It was old, the string slightly frayed and loose, and the golden paint had chipped in places to reveal the stainless steel underneath it. There was even a dent on the bottom from when you accidentally dropped one of your heavier textbooks onto it. It was old, and Suna had told you countless times it was fine to throw away, but you always kept it. 
The man took it and carefully placed it back on the key rack before heading into the bathroom. He took his time in there, gathering his thoughts as he knew he wouldn’t be sharing a bed with you tonight.
It was understandable really, he hadn’t been a great boyfriend. Suna knew a relationship took work from both sides and he shouldn’t have been as blunt as he was earlier that night. 
One couldn’t count the number of times he had muttered profanities aimed towards himself while sitting in the bathtub thinking about his mistakes. He didn’t know if you would even want to see him tomorrow morning. Maybe it was for the best he just went to the gym…
The next morning, Suna woke up early. Even in winter, the sun rose far too early in Japan for his taste. Sitting up and grumbling, he rubbed his eyes and stumbled to the bathroom to begin his morning routine.
Looking at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, he could only sigh at the sight of the dark circles under his eyes. 
Though you made him sleep on the stiff couch last night, you gave him the shared duvet and his pillow while you took the slightly thinner blanket from the closet. 
Despite the added comfort, Suna could barely fall asleep. He kept twisting and turning, thinking about you. Your pained face, your strained voice, your kindness even when angry at him. 
“I fucked up so bad,” he muttered once he washed his face and stared at his pathetically tired self in the mirror, water dripping from the ends of his hair. Would you want to break up with him after that? He’d understand if you wanted to, though he knew he would never be able to forgive himself for losing you because of some stupid mistake he could have prevented. 
Suna sighed for what felt like the thousandth time in the past 12 hours and dabbed his face dry with a towel. He knew that now would be the hardest bit - entering your bedroom to get his change of clothes.
Opening the door as slowly as possible in order to prevent the loud whiny creaking that he wished he had fixed months ago, Suna walked slowly towards the open closet. As quickly as possible, he grabbed a set of clothes and turned to face the door. Though it wasn’t without looking at your sleeping form on the large bed. 
Your face was puffy, dehydrated from sobbing last night, only emphasised by the wads of used tissues on the nightstand and floor. He noticed your breathing was a bit heavier than usual and your body was curled up as you hugged the thin blanket as close to yourself as you could.
The sight pained him intensely. 
With silent footsteps, Suna set his clothes on his side (the empty side) of the bed and tiptoed out to grab the duvet before returning and carefully laying it over your body. He tucked it right up to your chin as you always liked it and sat on the floor, eyes scanning every little feature on your face. From the smallest moles he loved to kiss to each individual eyelash.
“You’re not hearing this, I guess,” he muttered, looking down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at you, “I thought about it for a really long time. I really should’ve been better to you.”
The silence in the room was deafening. 
Suna gulped and bit the inside of his cheek as he thought about his next words, wondering if you could hear him in your sleep. 
“I always left you alone but you would always be nice to me. When you could, you’d make me bentos and clean the house while I did the laundry. Hm… putting stuff into a machine isn’t anywhere equal to cooking and cleaning surfaces, but I guess that’s another point to make.” 
Suna smiled to himself just a bit at the memory of you running into the bedroom to make him try your new pastries or dinner creations. He always thought you were so adorable in your old and stained apron that sometimes he would just stand in the kitchen to chat with you or watch you cook.
Then he was reminded of the dinner you had planned for the two of you and he suddenly frowned remembering how horrible he acted towards you the night before.
“You never expected me to be perfect since day one. I think I’m the furthest thing from a handsome prince on a white horse. But you’ve always been wonderful to me. And I was thinking…” You were asleep, right? Was it worth it to say such cheesy things?
“I kept wondering if you would leave and I thought I don’t want to lose you. I’m nowhere close to a prince but I thought I want to always be the one who wakes you up with a kiss. Or, I want you to wake me up with a kiss. Either is fine really. But… yeah. I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. ” He was certain you weren’t hearing these things yet there was a dark blush on his cheeks.
Until he saw you shift in the bed. 
Suna swears his heart stopped momentarily as he leaned closer, checking to see if you had woken up. 
Your eyelids slowly opened and you squinted tiredly at Suna, just barely able to see him with how blurry your vision had become. “Rin…?”
The man hurried to his feet, hoping his morning wouldn’t feel any heavier than it already did. 
“I’m gonna give you some space. I’ll be back after my jog.” 
Suna turned to exit the bedroom but was stopped by the sound of stumbling, followed by your warmth around his waist and resting on his back.
“Please… don’t go.”
He stared silently at the floor in front of him. 
“I don’t think you want to-”
“Stay here! …please?” 
Your soft voice broke but mended his heart at the same time. The scratchiness and fear in your voice contrasted with the words that he wanted to hear so badly.
“Did you…”
“Yeah, I heard everything.”
“You’re not mad?”
“Of course I’m still a little mad. But right now I’m just really happy you would say those things when you normally wouldn’t tell me how you feel. So… please, don’t go. Stay with me.”
The few moments of silence seemed to pass in eons as Suna took in a shaky breath before turning to hug you tightly, burying his face into your neck so you couldn’t see his tears of relief.
“Of course I will. I won’t go anywhere, babe.”
Four years have passed since that night. Suna yawns and scrunches up his face slightly at the way the sunlight enters your shared bedroom. Squinting his eyes, he looks around the room and wonders if maybe he should’ve put on a shirt like you did last night to deal with the first bites of winter. Then again, you did take his shirt.
He then looks to you, sleeping quietly by his side. You looked a little like a mess; hair messy, dwarfed in his big shirt, cheek smushed against the pillow, but he thought you looked adorable. 
It’s cold, but he feels warm by your side. 
And when he looks down at your left hand resting under his even in your sleep, the sight of the silver ring with its diamonds adorning your finger makes his heart even warmer.
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Stoners
Stoner Snaf <3 So this one's kinda weird, I based it around the Watch Me from fictober so if you haven't already read that, I suggest reading it first! It's also set in a post COVID world because I need something to look forward to. Disclaimer; I wrote this while very high last night and didn't really edit it so it's probably a mess.
Pairing: Merriell Shelton / Female Reader
Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex (don't do this), recreational drug use, if you squint there's some kinky undertones but nothing too crazy.
Word Count: 4.4K (i haven't written something this long is forever omf)
Tags: @edteche2 @xmxisxforxmaybe @diasimar @txmel @gloriousdarkangelsworld @paradoxicaltornado @404-not-found-xix
Enjoy and happy 4:20
~
Ever since the pandemic, you hadn’t been able to do crowds. Not like you used to anyways. It killed you a little bit because all the things you missed doing so much involved crowds; concerts, clubbing, festivals, travelling. Getting back into the swing of things took time. The feeling of being surrounded by people you don’t know set every one of your nerves on fire in the worst way. It felt so...
Uncomfortable.
This is probably why you didn’t last more than a half-hour at some seedy dive bar your friends had dragged you out to for the night. They begged you to go out with them, if even only for a drink or two. It had been so long since the whole group had a proper outing, it was nice to have the gang out for a night. Until some dickhead grabbed your ass and whispered some unwanted filth in your ear, his breath hot and unpleasant on your skin. After that, you were quick to grab your bag and say goodbye to your friends. You knew they were disappointed, but you could still feel the strangers breathe on your skin like it had been singed.
You welcomed the cool air of the night, feeling it immediately cool your skin. You hadn’t realized how warm it was inside but now that you were out in the open, you felt better. The burning on your neck had settled, more of an afterthought now. Your brain still felt overwhelmed, and you knew exactly how to remedy that.
Sitting down at one of the picnic table benches nearby, you began to sift through your bag when a voice rang out through the quiet streets.
“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,”
You’d know that slow drawl anywhere, you’d go so far as to say it near haunted your dreams.
“Merriell Shelton,” you beam up at him as he walks closer to you, nodding at his friends to continue without him, “I haven’t seen you since-”
“That last party.” He nods, smiling at you in the way where you’re not quite sure if he’s flirting with you or if he’s just that naturally gorgeous, “when I taught ya’ how to smoke.”
An excited smile bubbles onto your face and you shake your head at him, “Oh, you’d be so proud of me. I’ve grown so much since then.”
You resume digging through your bag to find your various forms of weed paraphernalia you carry with you. The pandemic had not been kind to you, and some days it felt like the only thing keeping your head above water was your bedtime joint. It wasn’t something you were terribly proud of, but it helped your anxiety and that was good enough for you lately.
He barks out a laugh at your response and you can’t help the pride the swells up inside of you knowing that you made him laugh like that. He comes to sit on the bench, placing himself close enough that it wasn’t weird, but far away enough so that he wasn’t directly in your space.
“What, you some kinda stoner or something now?” he asks as you layout your joints and pipes. He whistles, a mix between being impressed and mocking, when you pull out your vape too, “Damn, you got a bong in there too?”
Now it’s your turn to laugh, “No, that stays at home.” you say with a wink, “So, how have you been?” you ask, starting to put everything but your joints back in your bag.
He blows out through his lips and laughs a little, running a hand through his hair, “Been better lately, that’s all that matters, I s’pose.” He watched, something like a weird form of pride in his eyes as you pull out a joint and light it carefully. You certainly can’t complain, you forgot how great it felt to have his eyes on you.
You hum knowingly, “That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway,” you hold the joint up hesitantly.
“I don’t usually share my joints anymore, but if you’ve got your shots...” you shrug, your sentence tapering off. It’s a weird world you live in now, no one quite knows what’s socially acceptable anymore.
He smirks at you, amused, taking the joint from your fingers, “I’ve got my shots alright,”
His eyes don’t leave yours as he brings it up to his lips and takes his hit. He’s not even doing anything out of the ordinary, but he looks like he’s up to no good in every way. It’s like he’s just taking you in as if comparing you to the girl he met years ago.
“You changed,” he comments on an exhale, passing it back.
You nod, laughing softly, “Turns out I get really impulsive when I’m alone,”
He scoffs, “tell me about it,” and then he’s shrugging off his hoodie to reveal a handful of new tattoos covering his skin, “Buddy of mine is an artist,”
You gasp, ‘ooo’ing at some of the more complex pieces. Without thinking your hand darts out to let your fingers drag against his forearm, following the linework of the ink. His muscle twitches beneath your fingers involuntarily and you’re reminded of how long you’ve gone without intimate touches like this. You wonder if it’s the same for him. Did he long to be touched so innocently like this too?
“They’re wonderful,” you say, pulling your hand away, still admiring from a distance.
“Yea, I like ‘em.” He shrugs, nodding at you to take the last pulls from the joint, it’s your weed after all, “You get any?”
You shook your head, “No, surprisingly enough every time I finally convinced myself to book an appointment, shops got shut down again.” You said, only kind of bitterly.
He laughs and you scowl at him, “Aw, baby, don’t be like that,” he laughs, swatting at you half-heartedly, “Look, I betcha I can get you a discount at my buddy’s shop.”
You eye him suspiciously, “I can’t tell if you’re kidding.”
He puts a hand to his chest with a lazy smirk, “On god,”
You bite your lip to suppress a smile, shaking your head lightly, “Okay fine but that just means you’ll get to see a whole lot more of me,”
His smirk turns darker, into something more playfully suggestive, “I have no problem with that,”
A silence fills the space between you as you both take each other in. You had really only hung out with him that one night and nothing had really happened. You just sat and talked really. You talked for a while. You talked so long you didn’t realize the party had ended until your friend came to get you. You exchanged numbers and then just a few weeks after, you were instructed to start isolating. You’d kept up a steady social media friendship since then, but you had missed actually talking to him. He wasn’t much of a texter. The silence only lasts a moment, but it feels thick with tension.
“You look good by the way,” he comments, leaning ever so slightly closer to you, “I meant to say that earlier but then you made me strip for ya-”
“Whoawhoawhoa!!” you sputter through a laugh, “I did not make you do anything, you did that yourself.”
He shakes his head at you, “Nah, that doesn’t sound like me.”
You're giggling at this point, “You’re ridiculous.”
He beams at you, clearly pleased with himself for the moment. It settles for a second as he looks at you, eyes softening a bit before he glances down, nudging your knee with his a bit, “I missed you,” He cringes a bit, “I know it’s weird to say but, I did.”
Your nodding before you can even think to play it even a little bit cool, “No, I get it,” you assure him, smiling softly, “I missed you too, actually.”
He hums, smiling a rare soft smile at you before changing the subject, clearly wanting to shift the attention away from his moment of vulnerability, “So why aren’t you inside?” he asks.
“Oh,” you glance back at the bar behind you, having forgotten it was even there, “I was heading out, I wasn’t really in the mood for dive bars tonight.”
He nods, “The crowds right?” you nod and he’s talking again before you can ask him how he knows that, “I get it, sometimes being so close to that many people again makes me wanna crawl out my skin.” he chuckles.
You nod, a weight lifting off your shoulders to know you’re not alone, “Exactly, it’s not something I’ve gotten used to yet.”
“Well, can I walk you home?” he offers with a smile, “I’m in no rush to head in there,”
You smile and nod, “I’d like that,”
~
Somehow he had ended up on your couch. You weren’t entirely sure when walking you home had turned to him being on your couch, but you certainly weren’t complaining. You were both pleasantly high, talking anything from movie theories to possible dystopian futures and alien invasions.
“Look, I’m jus’ sayin’ that if I was an alien, I wouldn’t wanna fuck a human, are you kidding?” he reasons, eyes squinted as if he’s offended and your laughing so hard you have tears in your eyes, “Nah, I’m goin’ for a much cooler species.”
He watches you as you fight back giggles at his ridiculousness, a lazy, grin settled on his face. He reaches for his jacket that’s slung across the arm of the couch, reaching into his pocket to pull out his own stash and you gasp, mocking offence.
“You had your own weed all this time and you’ve been smoking mine?”
He rolls his eyes, settling the joint between his lips and lighting it. He inhales slowly, watching the tip as it sparks to life, eyes flicking back to you as he exhales, “I was gonna share,”
He holds out the joint for you, however as soon as you go to steal it he holds it back, just out of your reach, “what’s the magic word?”
“Oh my god, are you kidding?” you ask through a laugh, straining forward further in an effort to reach it but you’re hindered from the way you’re sitting. You make grabby hands at it instead.
“Ya want it or not?” he asks, eyebrows raised expectantly. There’s a tension between the two of you, still mostly playful but turning ever the more thick as the moments pass by.
You huff, getting comfy again in your spot, keeping your hand stretched out lazily, “Please,”
As soon as the word leaves your lips you can see his eyes get darker, that infuriating smirk only stretching across his face and you’re so mad that that’s all it takes for the playfulness between you to shatter into pure sexual tension.
Without a word he hands you the joint, enjoying the way you quickly bring it into your mouth for a deep drag to calm your rising nerves. It’s infuriating, how good he looks like this. All calm and relaxed on your couch in the low living room light, curls messy and looking at you through hooded eyelids. You want him. Just his eyes on you like this has a warmth pooling in the pit of your stomach.
You try to play it cool though, taking another slow drag and enjoying the way the smoke rises up around you. His eyes zero in on your lips, watching with a peaked interest as they wrap around the filter, watching the way the smoke escapes them. Neither of you say a word for a while. Just sitting in a comfortable quiet, a forgotten Spotify playlist playing in the background as you pass the joint back and forth.
He didn’t make his move until the final few hits of it. He shifts to sit straighter on your couch, a little more proper. What left his mouth was anything but.
“C’mere,” he says lowly, cocking his head to the side and gesturing to his lap, “gotta nice seat for ya,”
You don’t hesitate to comply, your high erasing any ideas of playing hard to get. You maneuver yourself as gracefully as you can, swinging a leg over his and settling there, straddling him comfortably with his hands on your hips. Once you're settled he raises the joint to his lips, taking in the last drag, eyes glimmering in the low light of the room. He holds it for a second, one hand moves upwards to cup the back of your neck and pulls you in closer.
Your lips are so close, the tension crackling between you like electricity. He tilts his head ever so slightly, lips parting to exhale the smoke into your mouth. You inhale on impulse and your mind goes blank as your lips brush ever so slightly together. You knew people said shotgun kisses were hot, but you had never truly believed them until now.
You know you should pull away to exhale, but you can still feel his lips brushing against yours and your mind is dizzy from the weed and from him and you can’t take it anymore. You close the distance the rest of the way, kissing him slowly through your exhale, smoke slipping through your lips as he returns the motion.
You kiss him like that for a while, enjoying his hands on your waist and the feeling of his chest beneath your hands. You were quickly realizing that Merriell was his own kind of drug. You’d only had a little taste of him and yet you found yourself craving more. His fingers flex against your body and you can’t help to low noise that slips out of your throat. It only spurs him on, emitting a growling sound of his own as he tugs you closer, dragging you against his growing erection. Your hand slides into his hair in response, feeling like you’re so high on weed and him that you might just fly away.
“Is this okay?” he asks against your lips, letting his forehead press against yours while he waits for your response.
You hum your affirmative, nodding your head quickly while diving back into for another kiss, this one much more ravenous than the last. God, you felt like you were starving for him. You couldn’t get enough at the way his tongue slid against yours, the feeling of his hands gliding up and down your body. They continue down the curve on your spine, settling once they reach the globes of your ass.
“You don’t know how many times I thought ‘bout this,” he mumbles, pulling away to stare at you teasingly through hooded eyelids. His accent, already a slow drawl, comes out much thicker when he’s high like this. It washes over you like honey. He smirks at you and before you can begin to wonder what he’s up to he brings one of his hands down in a sound smack against your right ass cheek.
You gasp at the feeling, dulled by the layer of your jeans but rippling throughout your sensitive skin nonetheless. You laugh lowly against his cheek, “likewise,”
He bites his lip on a grin, capturing your lips in a single, filthy kiss as if he knows exactly what it’ll do to you. Your hands wander up under his t-shirt, nails digging in sightly, just as a preview, returning the favour.
Like a switch, he’s on you a little more urgently and things begin to move faster. His hands tug on your shirt impatiently and you obediently part to take it off, shucking your bra off as well, and feeling pleased when he follows your lead. Your hands explore each other's bodies, every inch of new skin. It’s not long before he switches positions, standing up and dropping you back on the couch so that this time you’re laying on it properly. Without wasting a moment, you wiggle your jeans off, tossing them somewhere over the coffee table and taking in the way his eyes darken further at the sight of you.
He crawls his hips between your legs, capturing your lips in a messy kiss before starting to trail them down your body. Your high has your skin feeling so sensitive, every soft brush of his lips feeling like a shock of electricity through your body. He spends time on your breasts, marking and kneading them with his hands, enjoying how responsive you are beneath his ministrations. Though he doesn’t spend long there, clearly more interested in another prize.
He settles, this time his shoulders keeping your legs spread. He presses a soft kiss to your inner thigh, lets his fingers dust over your panty-covered pussy. Your muscles twitch at the feeling, and you feel your cunt clench around nothing. He looks good there, tattoos cover his skin and you long to be able to leave something that permanent on him. Fuck, you want him so bad.
He grins at you, knowing exactly how impatient you must be feeling. And that bastard uses it to his advantage. Sucking marks into your thigh just to watch your squirm. Eventually, he pulls your panties to the side, letting his fingers slide through your folds. He whistles lowly between his teeth.
“Mmm, baby, you this wet for me already?”
The whimper that leaves your lips is pitiful, your hips twitching in an attempt to get the pressure where you need it. He chuckles under his breath, eyes darting between your heat and your face, “Look at you,” he near coos, letting his thumb trace circles around your clit, watching as your mouth drops on a silent moan, “You want it so bad, don’t cha? Sweet thing...”
“Are you gonna be an asshole like this all night?” you ask, breathless but trying to redeem some of your dignity through what little wit you have left.
He laughs, sinking a finger into your heat just to watch the pleasure ripple across your face, “Don’t pretend like you don’t love it.”
And he’s right of course. You do love it, love the way he comments on how wet you are for him, almost mocking. Love the way he’s taking his time to find the most sensitive parts of your body and using them to his advantage. You let out a breathy moan as his finger brushes your G-spot.
The sound must do something to him because within a second he's attaching his mouth to your pussy with a growl, not even bothering to remove your panties before doing so. The heat of his tongue on your clit as his finger works that sweet spot inside of you turns your breathy moan into one much louder.
He’s good with his mouth because of course, he is. Within moments you feel like you're right on edge. And the smug bastard knows it too if the amused glint in his eyes is anything to go by. Your one hand twists in his curls, encouraging his movements while your other works at your nipple.
“God,” you whine, tugging at his hair as you feel heat wind up your spine. You swear you’ve never felt this good. It only takes another flick of his tongue against your click before your orgasm rips through you, thighs attempting to squeeze around his head, stopped by his free hand holding your one leg open so he can work you through it. Your body twitches in its aftershocks, mewling pathetically when the simulation starts to ride that edge between pain and pleasure.
“It’s just Merriell, actually,” he supplies when he pulls away with a smirk.
“I fucking hate you,” you breathe out, pulling him up your body so you can kiss him again, despite your words. He laughs, moaning softly against your lips when your hand finds the bulge in his jeans.
He kisses you for a while, letting you paw at him for a bit before he pulls away to work them off his body. There’s no real rush, the high allowing you to take it slow and enjoy the moment as opposed to the frenzied fucking drinking tends to lead you to.
You whine and he laughs at you, low and cocky as he leans down for another wet kiss, “You hurtin’ that bad for it, baby?”
You beam up at him from your place on the couch, feeling comfy and sexy with the way his eyes trail across your skin, leaving a tingling feeling in their wake. You shrug, watching with interest as he rids himself of his briefs, admiring his cock as he awaits your response.
“It’s been a while,” You say, distracted as you anticipate the stretch required for your body to accommodate him, ‘I’m excited, sue me.”
His hands use your hips to drag you closer to him, lifting one leg onto his shoulder while letting the other wrap around his body. He leans down to kiss you and you only have half a second to wonder the last time your legs were stretched like this before the feeling of his cock at your entrance steals the breath from your lungs.
Your mouth drops open, a moan caught in your throat as he slowly sinks into you. Your eyes roll back, shamelessly enjoying the stretch as he sinks, inch by slow, pleasurable inch. He continues the slowness, but you’re not sure he’s doing so on purpose.
When your eyes focus again you see the definition of bliss on his face as he thrusts slowly in and out of you, moaning lowly in his throat.
“Fuck,” he says, drawing the word out through gritted teeth, “that’s it, takin’ me so good.”
His thrusts begin to pick up, still fucking you slowly but with more force behind them. Each sharp movement of his hips as the tip of his cock dragging sweetly against the deepest parts of you, and it feels so fucking good. In the moment, it’s intense. He’s folded over you, holding your leg against your chest so he can suck and bite at your neck as he fucks you. You can’t help the filthy moans you let loose in his ear, one hand fisted in his hair while the other digs your nails into the smooth skin of his back.
“Merriell,” you gasp, feeling distinctly insane with the pleasure you're feeling. Your head drops back onto the couch, body jolting with each thrust of his hips. It’s good, god, it’s so good. But the need that burns through your veins makes you impatient, “Let me ride you.”
The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them, but it’s a suggestion he is clearly open to acting upon. He quickly pulls out, sitting back in his original position and pulling you on top of him.
“Be my gu-” he doesn’t finish his sentence, instead tapering off into a moan as you waste no time in sinking down on to him again, “Christ,”
You waste no time. Quickly stabling yourself with your hands on his shoulder and maneuvering yourself up and down on his cock. Now it’s your turn to watch him. Watch him as his eyes roll back and his hands grip your hips with a vice-like grip. That smirk never strays from his face though, clearly enjoying himself.
“You look so pretty like this,” he talks, bringing a hand down on your ass again, loving the way it spurs you on, “talk to me baby, tell me how it feels.”
You moan, loud and borderline pornographic, “You feel so good,” you breathe, biting harshly down on his lip, savouring the growl that vibrates through the both of you, “Oh, fuck, Merriell, you feel so good,” You emphasize your words with a particularly good roll of your hips.
You can tell he’s getting close by the way his hips start to snap upwards to meet yours and the way his brows furrow in concentration, “Fuck, baby girl,” he groans, unaware at the way the nickname makes you melt, “tell me you’re getting close. I wanna feel you cum around my cock.”
You nod immediately, pulling on his hair so you can capture his lips harshly, letting him bite your lip and pull your hips frantically against his own, “yes,” you whimper, “yes, yes, fuck imgonnacum,” you rush out, feeling like every touch he’d ever laid on you compiling into this one moment. It’s completely overwhelming and for a moment, you blackout.
When you come to he's kissing at your neck, hands massaging and pull at your ass, helping you ride of the aftershocks of your orgasm. His sounds have turns high and desperate against your neck, hands gripping at your skin so hard you think you’ll have bruises tomorrow. He needs you to keep going. Give him something.
The small, dare you say whimpery, “Oh baby, please,” has you moving quickly, almost as desperate to make him finish as he is to finish.
In the blink of an eye, you’ve lifted yourself off of him and onto your knees in front of him, quickly enveloping his entire length into the warmth of your mouth.
“Oh fuck, baby,” He moans urgently, both hands coming to tangle in your hair as you work your mouth over his cock, eyes trained on his face, “Fuck, I can’t-”
You hum, encouraging and within seconds you feel him reach his climax. His head thrown back, hips twitch upwards into the welcoming heat of your mouth, a low long moan pulled from his throat. He lets you bring him down, continuing to suck and lick softly at his spent cock, eyes lazily following your every movement.
When he finally pulls you up off the floor it’s to kiss you, lazy and heated. You collapse basically on top of him as you kiss, unbothered by the smallness of the couch and the cold air that bites at your cooling skin. He makes a noise in his throat when you pull away, watching in amusement as his eyes barely open to look at you.
“‘M so fuckin’ high.”
It pulls a laugh from you, bubbling up from your chest. He smiles, bright, relaxed and dazzling, “Hope you weren’t plannin’ on kickin’ me out because ‘m not movin’ for a while,”.
You rest your head on his chest, letting yourself sink into the moment with him, your own high coming back to you as you bask in the post-sex haze.
“You're still gonna get me discounted tattoos though right?"
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