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#but also thats a baby movie. for babies. and i dont watch baby movies
t3ag3rs · 8 hours
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Hii!!! I hope youre doing well. I loved your last bakugo hcs! Could u do a part 2 of younger! s/o x bakugou?
help ykw so funny this is based of delusions of my crush whose also my moms friends son and a yr older than me.... but yes ofc 😋 (even tho i havent updated my actual fanfic in more than a week...) ITS A SHORT ONE YALL IVE BEEN REAL BUSY WITH PROJECTS THESE PAST COUPLE WEEKS
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the next encounter you have with bakugou is when his mom invites you and a couple of close work friends over to their house.
you walk in and head upstairs to see the other kids only to find them in the theatre room watching Spiderman.
you awkwardly sit at the opposite end of bakugou and who you guessed was his baby cousin on his lap.
after about 30 minutes you start getting bored so ofc ur eyes start traveling to the other side...
that views better than the movie anyways.
"hey shortcakes... wanna play cards with the kids?" asks bakugou as he stands up grabbing his cousin.
"yeah we can" you smile sitting down on the floor in a circle next to his cousin. "hey there.. whats your name?" you inquire to the kid as bakugou goes to find the cards.
"tobio" (bear w me😭🙏) he states smiling, you grin before leaning to him, "hey you should really tell bakugou that you like me better.."
"okay" he giggles before shuffling next to you as you hear footsteps approach. "tobio- you like me better right..???" You chuckle.
"wayyyy better" he replies looking at bakugou, "suit yourself bud.. just know that means your not getting to play on my phone anymore" chortles the other male showing off his phone.
you slap his arm, "hey! thats leverage! not allowed!" you exclaim, "yeah..! What she said!" adds tobio looking at you.
"tobio youre supposed to be on my side here! I'm your cousin!" bakugou says defensively.
you stick your tongue out in response with a playfully grin as you hug tobio. "hes mine now old man..!" you laugh.
all that could be heard from downstairs was the sound of pure laughter from you and bakugou.
"dont start stealing my stuff shortcakes.." he grins at you as he stretches and slumps his body weight on to your side. you grunt as you shove him off, "get off you big back..!"
only to which you were suffocated by his weight again.
"MITSUK-!!" you start before bakugou places his hand over your mouth. you stare up at him wide eyed with a slight blush dusting your cheeks.
"how bout you dont kay shortcakes?" he asks with a devilish smirk.
well fuck. there goes your sanity.
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stinkrascal · 10 months
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i really do not understand the barbie oppenheimer memes at all idek what an oppenheimer is. am i even spelling that right i dont know
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queen-of-nerds1026 · 1 year
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No spoilers but Jack Black as Bowser in the Super Mario Bros. Movie went so hard and I love that for him.
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agayconcept · 8 months
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#oh my god the 90s movie channel is playing Fly Away Home jfc this movie was Everything to me as a child#young southern ontario girl raises orphaned goslings displaced due to construction ???#her father helps build her a goose shaped plane to lead them south ???her step-mom is Good for once ???#the whole fam/community gets in on it to save the geese including the disabled gosling ????#when the cops / rangers steal the geese in the middle of the night their ragtag crew responds in kind by stealing them right back ???#she finishes the journey alone at age 13/14 w her band of geese like a fuckin badass ???#and flies the geese to their new winter home just in time to stop another development starting there ????#all w the saddest & sweetest soundtrack song at the time ???#goddamn. i Imprinted on that movie as a kid the same way the geese imprinted on her lmfao#maybe thats why as a canadian i was never bothered or scared of geese#bc i saw this shit and was like BUT THEYRE BABEYSSSSS#i mean. they will try to bite ur finger off dont get me wrong. but also. babeys ?????!!!!#anyway#idfk how i forgot abt this movie it was a huge part of my identity for Years as a child#they had us watch it in school all the time (i think we did a project on it???)#anyway. dang. im remembering bits of my childhood now wow lmao#(if u know me u know thats a big deal bc my brain trauma-erased my entire childhood i legit dont have memories)#(but now im remembering sm. i had a fantasy of doing exactly this. rescuing an orphaned baby animal and keeping it in a drawer to release)#dang#what even is a brain and why do memories work this way (trauma. trauma is the answer lmao)#anyway looking back that was prob one of my first hyperfixations. movies abt kids saving animals. Fly Away Home + Free Willy + Flipper etc#plus anti-authority / fuck the police messaging#ya i knew what i was about. lmao#v on brand.
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vampirehowl · 11 months
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if we are ok with me being completely honest my dream version of this upcoming barbie movie is written and produced by david lynch and werner herzog in addition to the current use of White Couple Weekly. do i think that this would probably end up in a murder/suicide? yes. but thats a risk im willing to take in the name of Barbie
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blookmallow · 3 months
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i guess tweed throwing the pie in amos' face was funny and all but pies take forever to make. i dont buy that she'd take all the time and effort it takes to make a fresh homemade pie and then just chuck it at her neighbor
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darealsaltysam · 2 months
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I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT
below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this
oh my god okay okay where do i even start
opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up
watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok
this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!
i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis
arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie
but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.
i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.
the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this
OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD
jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed
the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH
all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!
once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM
rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it
the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that
okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT
FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER
stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET
just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT
when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.
the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd
GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.
dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.
and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell
speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing
what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah
special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast
WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL
the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS
a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!
anyway. back to the horrors.
i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP
i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me
chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!
SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING
TIMOTHEE
FUCKING
CHALAMET
listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.
he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing
paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting
like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different
what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!
also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg
when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us
also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore
have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her
okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive
chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much
THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD
IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL
THE WORMS
THE SENSE OF SCALE
THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY
THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME
THE SOUND
EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL
the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell
every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis
gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3
the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall
i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell
i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3
OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO
HERE WE GO YALL
THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK
THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!
THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start
okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys
paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around
i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more
i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?
but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.
oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.
theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point
another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!
this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani
chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"
i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.
sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3
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austinsastrology8991 · 11 months
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> Neptune IN the HOUSES < How your DELUSIONS find you RESOLUTIONS
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Neptune in the First - You act so naive, and now people actually think your naive. But you hate it when people treat you this way, but your always swaying around and acting oblivious to everything around you, but ik its all a front, and people find you to be mystical and now everyone is entranced by this dance you make acting oblivious. its obvious its an act, but then the more you get to know them you realize its not and thats actually who they are, and you wonder why no one has bonked them on the head yet Neptune in the Second - you dont really value anything, you think everything comes and goes, and your just like a paper bag flowing through the wind tbh. But this quality of letting things be and go, allows you to be molded by life and that can be a useful tool for artisty, but man yall just give up easy tbh. also your voices are like ethereal - kiddd cudiiiiiieee Neptune in the Third - you guys talk like a movie character, and its never the villain but the naive protagonist who just believes in a bunch of bullshit. but everyone thinks your so amusing to lissten to and i suppose you are but sometimes you guys really are playing up this movie trope and well im done watching the same movie i want a re-cast. then next week you will re-cast yourself as a new protagonist and well everyone just loves to watch you be an idiot so keep it up Neptune in the Fourth - Your literally 'good will huntings robin Williams'. you act like you figured out emotions because you let them come and go, but when someone questions whats going on with you, you find a million reasons to explain why you behave this way, and why others do, whilst completely avoiding letting your emotions out because your way too sensitive youd rather keep it at them at a distance that way you can handle it Neptune in the Fifth - You guys are the embodiment of a amusement park. YOu perform a million different acts, and never run out of ideas on how to entertain. Very amusing to watch, but people tend to take you for granted since your always so fun to be around we just expect yalll to keep performing, and you can, but this eats you up inside. then you perform again showing us how you feel as usual, and how it feels being used, and well i guess its all good because you have a never ending source of material - yourselves
Neptune in the Sixth - IMO the real mvps of delusions. No one is as delusional as them but they dont even care because they have thought of so much bullshit and have found so much evidence for their bullshit that they now realized that what most people believe in is bullshit, so they just think everything is bullshit. They dont even give a fuck anymore because to them everything isnt real, and everything is real, they have trouble understanding reality, because they have seen things no one could ever believe exists Neptune in the Seventh - Hopelessly projecting what they want in the world just for it to never come to fruition. This is actually how they pull, so dont hate their game. but they tell people how they wish things would be, and people want to save them by showing them how the world works, or giving into their stupid delusions and pretending what they believe in is real. Kinda a lot to deal with. But they'll never admit that they act so innocent but then your basically taking care of a baby Neptune in the Eighth - They make the universe bend to their will whether it wants to or not. They will pull every magic trick they know to make sure that their delusions are not delusional anymore. And its impressive how much they believe in there imaginings that it does tend to become real, but i would warn them and whoever is around them; That their fantasies tend towards the dark. so if they want something to be real (and they gonna do everything they can to get it) they may or may not resort to black magic or some shady ass shit Neptune in the Ninth - They believe in god a lot, maybe too much to appear normal. They are the type to make up a cult and behave liek mormons and say it was the will of god. The people ive met with this are strange, and their beliefs alter quite a bit, and for some reason they always have met deities and angels. But they are so delusional in their beleifs that if you hear them out, its so far fetched youll get lost in them because your so curious how someone got so lost in their own religion you wonder if they'll ever return to the real world Neptune in the Tenth - They are openly strange. Bro dennis Rodman has this conj his midheaven and its just iconic really. These guys are the strangest most ethereal beings and everyone gets lost in their cult of personality. Always switching up their identity, they think reality is bullshit and well we are all here for it because yall do the strangest things and i just wanna watch what your gonnna do next. but im still trynna figure out how close i wanna get to you because being seen with you is a risk for my reputation, because you clearly dont give a fuck about yours Neptune in the Eleventh - How many acid shirts do you own. Its like your the public personification of 'make love not war and peace bro' and its cool everyone wants a freidn like you, but no one takes your advice seriously. Because your so lost in the make believe that you think your make believe can actually make someone make believe..... But like cmon how the fuck do you think thats going to change anything. WHen has 'peace bro' ever actually worked. do your charities or whatever but i do not see it working as much as you think it can. sorry not sorry. But i do love you. But get a haircut Neptune in the Twelvth - Your literally the type to lick your finger , put it up in the air and say 'yep it going to rain wednesday' then it actually rains wednesday. And your so cooked no one believes you (because why would you) but then it does happen and now eveyrone thinks your even more cooked because what you had cookin is a real recipe. Now everyone wants to know how you have your third eye or whatever open and now you just want to hide again lmao. Also incredible artists, i recommend you guys keep your intuitive insights to yourself because you are right a lot but why tell people when everyone is just going to question how you see signs rather than heed your advice
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devzo · 25 days
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DATING TOM KAULITZ HEADCANONS
Tom kaulitz
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content: headcanons, fluff/smut
a/n: i haven’t gotten any requests and i couldn’t just not post something. So i decided to make ‘dating tom kaulitz’ headcanons. (it’s because i’m also bored)
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swf
— Would buy you so many gifts. He doesn’t care if they’re expensive or not, he would buy you the world if he could.
— Talking about love languages, physical touch is probably another one of his. He always has to have his hands on you.
— When you’re on your period, he gets nervous because he doesn’t really know what to do. He’d ask Bill for advice. Once he gets it he’d buy you literally everything you want. Sweets, pads (he didn’t know which ones to get you) even stuffed animals.
— When you’re feeling down he always tries to comfort you. He cuddles you, prepares a movie night, places kisses all over face. He doesn’t like when you’re down.
— He takes pictures of you on his digital camera like everywhere, in restaurants while having dinner with the band, while you’re sleeping, walking. Literally everywhere. even in bed.
— He adoress you. He cannot last a minute without telling you ‘i love you’. Let’s say you were in an argument and he tells you he loves you but you dont reciprocate because you’re being too stubborn, He would literally whine in your ear until your say it. (And if you don’t he’d punish you.)
nsfw
— He’s usually top, but he’s down baaad for you when you’re over him.
— He praises you every second. ‘you’re so good for me.’ ‘taking my cock so well.’ ‘you can take more, no? I know you can, you’re a good girl.’
— About the camera thing. Yes, he films you in bed.
His camera was in his right hand, while the other fondled with your breast making you whine. The camera captured everything, from your fucked out face to his dick sliding in and out of you at a fast pace.
— He doesn’t really have any kinks other than breeding and praise kink, also dacryphilia. (that’s how i imagine.) He’d probably try other kinks with you.
— He calls you so many things in bed: slut, whore, bitch. He probably likes humiliating you with those names. Of course, there’s other names he calls you in bed: baby, sweetheart, schatz…
— When you’re on top, which was very rare. He’d whine underneath you, telling you he didn’t like when you’re on top but he secretly did. He liked watching your breasts bouncing in his face.
— He likes trying new positions, but his all time favorites are doggy style or missionary. He likes watching your ass bouncing in time with his thrusts and watching tears run down your face.
— His aftercares are soo good. He would prepare you a warm bath and carry you (You promised you could walk. thats a lie. But he insisted on carrying you.)
— If he went too hard and made you use the safe word you two put. He would be so mad at himself, he would get up, get dressed and leave without you knowing where. He comes back with bags in his hands. He’d get you things you like and stuff that comforts you and shower you with kisses.
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reidsweetener · 1 year
Note
okay just a few more things abt spencer x bimbo!reader and i’ll leave u alone😭
having tea parties with spencer and her stuffed animals (thanks to spencer’s cooking skills and knowledge on tea parties)
him reading her bedtime stories ;( and helping her fall asleep
he’s at work and realized you’ve replaced all his black pens with sparkly pink ones **with the fluffy thing on top
showing off the new outfits she bought from the mall, along with makeup
SPEAKING OF MAKEUP; u bet reader is going to want to do his face up with eyeshadow, blush and eyeliner. if she’s lucky, maybe lashes IF he’s feeling like having his eyelashes ripped off
and over time after he’s watched her do makeup from the vanity she added to his room, he’s got the makeup thing down packed
he loves halloween so she’s def making them wear matching costumes
he knows how info dumping can sometimes ruin somethings so during like movie time when something impractical happens, he’s doesn’t really care. as long as she’s enjoying herself.
THATS ALL IM SORRY 2 BOTHER 😭😭
NO I LOVE THEM TOO!!🥺✨✨ DONT WORRY!!
having tea parties with spencer and her stuffed animals (thanks to spencer’s cooking skills and knowledge on tea parties)
you know all of them are decked in appropriate high-tea attire! bimbo!r has an extensive wardrobe, and her little spawns are too! spencer is the prince/chef, and reader doesn't even have to force him to converse with those blank beady eyed bastards because he already pretends to argue about scientific researches and he periodically gets offended by his children's opposing views, if only to make reader laugh!✨✨ reader has to mediate sometimes, else spencer disowns their babies🥺🥺
him reading her bedtime stories ;( and helping her fall asleep
reader was adamant at first that she's not particularly interested in bedtime stories, but then spence made it seem as if he was the one who needed to read them in order to fall asleep. but she would get into it! like asking him questions, like; “but how can she not see that the wolf was not the grandma!” and she's looking at spencer with so much wonder and her eyes are sparkling!! LIKE HE HUNG THE STARS IN THE SKY🥺🥺 and spencer's heart just bursts in his chest!!
he’s at work and realized you’ve replaced all his black pens with sparkly pink ones **with the fluffy thing on top
at this point, he's not even fazed; he goes on with his day, and scribbles down per usual. he secretly likes your pens, because it's vibrant in color and comfortable to write with! hotch has to reprimand him though.
showing off the new outfits she bought from the mall, along with makeup
YOU BET HE'S FRONT ROW AT EVERY SHOW YOU PUT ON!! he's oohing and asking you to twirl. he even takes several pictures in angles you instruct him to, and he's got a whole folder dedicated to your monthly wardrobe. your vanity is so full that spencer has to gently remind you sometimes;
SPEAKING OF MAKEUP; u bet reader is going to want to do his face up with eyeshadow, blush and eyeliner. if she’s lucky, maybe lashes IF he’s feeling like having his eyelashes ripped off
spencer can't ever say no to you; so he sits there and puckers or blinks or simply remains stoic so you can contour him. you're straddling him, and his arms are around your waist while you tell him everything under the sun.
and over time after he’s watched her do makeup from the vanity she added to his room, he’s got the makeup thing down packed
not only that— he also knows how to take care of you when you fall asleep with makeup. he knows to do your skincare routine for you, how to take your hair pins and jewelry off; he's going to do it without being asked to!
he loves halloween so she’s def making them wear matching costumes
HALLOWEEN IS BOTH OF YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY! you go all out! matching character costumes— you've already done morticia and gomez, ariel and prince eric, clark kent and lois lane, aswell as a scooby gang with the rest of the bau!💖💖 spencer looks forward to every halloween, because both of you can dress up! although you're adamant that everyday can be halloween if he want to! you just want to see him happy🥺🥺
he knows how info dumping can sometimes ruin somethings so during like movie time when something impractical happens, he’s doesn’t really care. as long as she’s enjoying herself.
spencer loves to ramble, and reader often catches him when he tries to stop himself though! and when she tugs on his arm, and endearingly asks questions that she knows would make him expound, she listens eagerly!! she's happy to hear him speak, as much as she's happy with whatever activity they're doing!🥹🥹 she's really sensitive to his feelings, as much as he is to her. they're extremely atuned to eachother, and are often in their own wolrd💖💖
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elliessession · 27 days
Text
"I need you right now."
an: IM SO SORRY IVE BEEN BUSY BECAUSE OF SCHOOL UGHHH, ANYWAYS HERE YALL GOO💗 I HOPE YALL LIKE THIS! And ofc as alwayss this one shot is inspired by "Coming Down" by the weeknd!
summary: you were done doing the chores in your apartment and ellie is still not home, shes at work but you decided to text her some things that you know would drive her crazy and immediately regret it.
-> smut! d!ellie, s!reader, pet names: princess, baby, good girl, slight degrading!, cursing! And i guess thats all?
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
After hours of cleaning your apartment you're finally done with everything. 'The bedroom? Clean! The dishes? Yep already cleaned, and im pretty sure i already vacuumed the whole apartment' you thought to yourself. Now theres nothing to do. You're on your school break right now and you've already did all the things you're supposed to do.
You tried to watch a movie which never really entertained you. You've also tried this tiktok trends just to really get out of your boredom, yet nothing really helped. You miss ellie, you miss being in her arms. "Yes! Why did i not think of this earlier!' you screamed getting your phone and plopping on your bed and opening your phone to text ellie.
-----------
me: els? When are you coming homeee, imyy! :(
no reponse.
"awe, she's probably busy" you said in a upset tone, really missing ellie closing your phone, then getting a 'bright idea' that is not so bright. 'why not send risky texts to ellie? She probably wouldn't even read it since shes at work, then ill probably just remove my text when her break is near'you thought to yourself
------------
me: els, fuckkk i need you right now baby.
no response.
You giggled at the text you sent knowing she wont really read it.But the thought of her actually reading your texts and knowing what can happen. "Err.. lets go send another one!" You said.
-----------
me: els, baby please i really need you right now.
me: els, please. I miss you, can you text me back baby please. Fuck i need you so baddd
me: ;)
typing..
"holy shit!, Shit she saw it, im doomed for fucks sake" you say with a slight panic in your voice.
------------
els💞: hey baby, missed me that much hm?
me: fuck yes i do.
"shit, just go with it lets just end what i have started" you say to yourself.
------------
els💞: baby yk you're really turning me on rn.
me: oh? thats a good thing then.
els💞: babe stop.
me: whyy? do you not like it when im bold hm?
els💞: fuck this.
me: hm? Im all alone baby. I need you.
read.
"shit is it her break right now?" You asked yourself looking at the time in your phone "3:58pm" "its not her break yet, her breaks are in 4pm since i know shes in her night shift right now." you asked your self.
what do you not know is ellie actually left early to buy you gifts, she was buying you your favorite food at the time you texted her.
------------
*ringing*
els💞: pick up your phone.
read.
"shit im in trouble" you say to yourself picking up the phone.
—–—–—–—–
"els?"
"im on my way home."
"d-dont you have work?"
"shit, you'll understand later baby."
"what do you mean?"
"your messages. Shit you've been driving me crazy."
*silence*
"wheres your boldness now? Hm?"
"fuck you els."
"you'll be fucking me later princess dont worry."
"ugh i hate you."
"pretty sure you dont baby"
*hangs up*
you can imagine ellies stupid smirk on her face, knowing you're literally folder right now.
A few minutes later your door opened and guess whos there. Ellie, you tried to play it cool like you didn't just drive your girlfriend crazy. "Heyy baby! I missed you!" You hugged her, ellie well.. was not playing with you. She took off her shoe and placed the things she bought for you and kissed you.
"you dont know how much you.. fuck youre driving me crazy all day."
ellies kiss deepen as her hands moves up and down from your shoulder to your waist, you tried your best not to moan from her touch.
a moment after there you guys were. Your laying at the bed and ellies there, between your legs..
"f-fuck.. els.."
and there she was. Coming down, right now.
infront of you.
"you're such a slut for me baby. I love it."
you closed your legs as she said this
"no need to be shy now princess, be a good girl for me hm? Show me your boldness."
"els please.. just.. fuck me please."
—————
"eat up now baby"
"els i.. im tired okay"
"shh, you were begging me for more earlier." She laughs
"ugh i hate you so much."
"thats not what you were saying earlier when i made you cum, hm?"
"shuuutttt upp"
-----------------------------
an: ANDD TADAAA I HOPE U GUYS LIKED THISS💗 AND AS ALWAYSS SORRY FOR MY BAD GRAMMARR, ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGEEE, YOU GUYS CAN ALWAYS CORRECT ME THO!💗
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khloeloves · 1 year
Text
Random chuuya bf headcanons
he would definitely let you win in card games just to make you happy
checks up on you every hour, even if it’s just small texts like “You okay?” or “Did you eat”
he worries about you on the daily, he always makes sure that you and him both share your location so he makes sure nothing bad happens to you
he always always ALWAYS opens doors for you and pulls your chairs on
he also always compliments you no matter what
it doesn’t even matter if you think your ugly or if your in pajamas he always compliments you
if you were sick he would take extra extra care of you, he would make you soup and tea and whenever you get up to go do something or get something he’d be like “sit back down, your sick i’ll get it for you”
before bed, you guys would have deep conversations about random things. if you guys dont talk about random things then you’d talk about how your day has been
when you guys ate driving somewhere, he makes sure you have your seat belt on before you even pull out of the driveway
if your the one driving then he makes sure you don’t look at your phone whether someone is texting you or calling you
his favorite part of you is your smile, he’d do anything to make you smile and it doesnt matter to him if it’s embarrassing he’ll still do it because he doesnt like to see you upset
sometimes he’ll brings you guys something to eat after he comes home from work, but thats only if your hungry and you guys dont feel like cooking
he loves to watch random shows and movies with you
whenever you’re talking to a group of people and you feel like nobody is paying attention or everybody is talking over you, he’d definitely be the one listening to what you have to say, he doesn’t only do it when your around a big group, it happens when you two are together too because he always listens to you no matter how dumb he thinks whatever your talking about is
his favorite place to kiss you is on your forehead, lips, and hand (on rare occasions)
i feel like his love language is either physical touch or receiving/giving gifts
he would let you and only you play with his hair, he’ll even let you brush it if you want to
he’ll always bring a extra jacket for you if you get cold, if he forgets to bring one then he’ll give you his
if your sad then he will comfort you and let you cry on his shoulder, he would hold you until you feel ready to talk about why your upset
if you guys both have off days and have nothing to do, he would take you to the store to get board games/random fun stuff you guys can do
he loves looking at you, he likes to look at every small detail you have
he likes to do stuff with you especially on holidays, on christmas he’ll make gingerbread houses with you, on your birthday he’ll take you out to wherever you want to go, and on new years he’ll buy you guys champagne and bring you outside to see the fire works
he would call you baby, babe, love, and dear
he loves you a whole lot and wouldn’t want anything to happen to you
he would be such a good boyfriend
he always buys you things that you want, even if you feel bad for spending his money he’d tell you it’s fine
i just KNOW this man can cook, he cooks breakfast lunch and dinner. if you don’t know how to cook then he will teach you, and if you find random recipes that you want to try he would definitely find a time where you to could go and get the stuff you need to make it
he always rubs your cramps,
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zg0nuwa · 2 months
Note
Hey, sorry i feel so demanding when asking someone so i had to let they know that this is just a silly idea *_-YOU CAN IGNORE IT AND DONT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!!!-_*
SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT I HAD TO LET IT OUTT!!! I hope you understand what i meant, thank you take care!
Anyways... So the idea is: The earthrealm trio, Johnny Cage, Kenshi and Kung lao (or any charactr you prefer) liking the reader very much (It can be platonic or romantic up to you) and they always get in little fights or arguments because they are kinda jealous of you, not something sick and twisted but you know, like, little things like they fighting to sit beside you when watching a movie together and one of them end up sitting on the grund in front of you (so all of you sit on the ground together) or when they are walking and they see you from afar one of them starts to running to get to you faster than the other but the reader is very oblivious, besides loving all 3 of them very much and keeping to themselves because the reader doesnt know what polyamorous is and think its problematic to love all the 3 guys at the time and their worst fear is to hurt those 3 protective, dependable and caring fellas. Also the reader always makes a effort to spend time them too, specially with the 3 at the same time, and they are all very touchy with esch other? Like hugs, hand holding, hands on the shoulders when walking together...
( doing this also with raiden because this boy has my heart )
cw ; this is not exactly romantic but also not very platonic, i hope this is okay
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first and foremost, may god have mercy on you, because these four won't. johnny and kung lao are the worst, childish competitions and being up in your personal space, always a hand on your shoulder, thigh, in their hand. kenshi and raiden are much more reasonable and just happy to be in your presence.
johnny is the initiator i would say, he'd probably be the first one to show you this type of attention, which, to be honest, is not much different from before. he is definitely more touchy and maybe a little pushover with his advances towards you. it's not because he doesn't respect your boundaries, he does and takes it very seriously when you tell him to stop. it's more like inserting himself wherever you are, dropped a pen? he already picked it up! forgot something? would you look at that! he has a spare or coincidentally has that specific thing on him!
kung lao is... specific. he's also touchy but he feels a little awkward, like he's not really sure he can be touchy and affectionate with you. while johnny is confident and straightforward he's more of a "pretending to yawn and putting my arm over your shoulder' type of person. this still doesn't make him drop the cocky personality.
kenshi is passive, at least thats how he seems to be, he doesn't mind the others behavior but much prefers being one on one with you. his affection comes in form of long deeps talks that go well into the night. he's open, he's comfortable and he shows it well. does small favors for you like putting you laundry away, turning the lights off if you fall asleep and forget, making an extra cup of tea and "surprisingly" it's always your favourite.
raiden is a charmer, sometimes without even trying. remembers the smallest things about you. not to mention that he's very timid but he's not this "shy baby" that blushes at any advance towards him. he's actually a smartass sometimes and has a lot of good responses to flirty anecdotes. also the best advice giver, no matter what it may be he's always here to figure something out for you.
together they can get pretty chaotic but not to the point where they're jumping at eachother throats. call it friendly rivalry they say ( usually it's between kung lao and johnny but johnny always seems to drag in kenshi so you and raiden just wait until the drama resolves itself)
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w-wolfhard · 5 months
Note
hi would u write for rodrick heffley? i’m living off of crumbs lmaoooo
paring : rodrick heffley x f!reader.
warning(s) : none.
a/n : yall oh em gee i havent been on tumblr in so long holy shit😭 missed y'all😪 also i'm writing f!reader cus thats what im used to but if ya need me to write it differently i could try and do so 🫡🫡
in which y/n & rodrick try to bake cookies for a thanksgiving party but fail horribly.
it was thanksgiving weekend and rodrick's family next door was throwing a party. everyone had to bring a dish if they wanted to enter, so there you were; in your house next door, trying to bake a batch of last minute cookies with rodrick.
he pulled out the cookie dough from the fridge, slapping the package on the counter, "soooo.." he sighed. "do you know how to do this?" rodrick questioned, looking at the package of cookie dough as if it were a question from his previous math test.
"sure i do!" you said hesitantly. "you just have to– i dunno." you sighed as well.
"well okay.. that's fine. that's alright! neither of us know how to bake fucking cookies but that's decent!" he tried to be enthusiastic but he just sounded stupid.
"rodrick no, we're being fucking dumb. we don't even have to make the cookie dough. how are we gonna fuck this up if the cookie dough is already made?!" you rambled, slapping the cookie dough.
"i don't know man! it's you and i, and we could never cook!"
"we've never even tried cooking, dumbass!" you slapped your forehead. "y'know what, directions exist for a reason; let's read the directions." you told him, taking a deep breath.
"nuh-uh! directions are for babies, y/n. we're highschoolers, we can do this without that dumb shit." he scoffed.
"yeah, we're highschoolers that don't know how to bake cookies," you bit the inside of your cheek. "if you don't wanna read the directions then be the director! go on, i'll follow."
"fine! then i will," he folded his arms. "why dont we just roll up the cookie dough into a ball, place it on a paper plate then pop it in the oven?" he said proudly. "ya ever thought of that smartass?"
"i'm glad i haven't, 'cause what in the world kind of plan was that. you sound like a kindergartener rodrick." you narrowed your eyes at him and he looked at you offended. "seriously?! a big ball of cookie dough, on a paper plate, in the oven? we'll blow up or something!"
"will not!" he argued.
"gosh, i'm dating someone insane," you muttered.
"well do you got a better plan? 'cause if you do, i'd like to hear it." rodrick scoffed.
"how 'bout we, i dunno, read the directions?"
he groaned, giving in. "fine. just so we can get this over with so we could finally feast back at my house."
you chuckled and picked up the package, reading what it says; step #1 – get a trey. step #2 – put small pieces of dough onto the trey. step #3 – bake the cookies in the oven at 350° for 10-12 minutes. step #4 – take them out let them sit for a bit & feast on your cookies!
"that's basically what i said—"
"that's the complete opposite of what you said." you cut him off, shaking your head. you both did as the directions said; rodrick handed you the trey and you covered it with parchment paper while rodrick was preheating the oven. you and rodrick made small balls of dough together and placed them on the trey, spaced out good enough.
once they finished doing all that, rodrick popped the trey of cookies into the oven and closed it. once they finished, they pumped their fists in the air, celebrating. "woohoo! we so just did that!" you gave him a high five.
"definitely! i can't wait for them to be done!"
"yup, then we can finally go to your place and feast on the funnel cake your mom made." you licked your lips.
you both cheered and went over to the couch in your living room and watched tv. you guys were so indulged in the movie that was playing that you forgot about the cookies. except the smell reminded the both of you. "rodrick! the cookies!" it's definitely been over 10-12 minutes since you guys last popped those in the oven.
"fuckfuckfuck" rodrick hurriedly took out the cookies which looked burnt but still looked edible. you both sighed, "well we tried?"
"did we rodrick, did we?"
"yes we did." he nodded slowly. " atleast that's what we'll tell them," he chortled, grabbing two paper plates and stacking the cookies on it neatly, he made his way to the front door while you followed. he handed you one of the plates, as he unlocked the front door, "after you m'lady."
"never call me that again," you both laughed and he shut the door behind him locking it. he picked a cookie from the top of the stack, "cheers to shitty cookies on thanksgiving?"
you chuckled and grabbed the cookie on the top of your stack, "cheers to shitty cookies on thanksgiving." you clinged your cookies together and then took a bite.
god were they burnt.
you both forced yourselves to choke it down. "i'll stick to your mom's funnel cake." you sighed as rodrick unlocked his front door.
"yeah same."
susan answered with a grin, "hello y/n! come in, come in!" she stared down at your cookies and her grin morphed into a different look, "are those edible?" she motioned to the cookies in your guys' hands.
"well yeah, but i advise that you don't eat them. leave it to the little ones to chow it down." you snorted and rodrick nodded in agreement.
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kynrki · 1 year
Note
Sleepover with jay 👀👀
YES OMG HE LITERALLY WAS BIAS WRECKING ME FUTURE PERFECT ERA😓😓😓😓inspired by ema btw @delcakoo my bae🥰🤞🏼soft hours are closed’
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• starting off, i feel it would be so CHAOTIC😭
• like we all know jays vv chill and stuff but i feel if you two had a sleepover it would be a whole mess
• from cooking together, to trying to watch a movie but getting distracted the whole time and laughing
• to cuddling and fighting each other
• BUT LETS START…..
• cooking together would be so cute
•like he would stand there and cut carrots or something and then you would come out of no where like “can i help?”
• ofc he’d say yes, he literally cant say no to you
• he would then instruct you to put a pot of water on the stove and turn it on until it boils
•i do have a feeling that if you two were waiting for the water to boil, he would pull you in for a hug
• HANDS ON YOUR WAIST RUBBING IT
• and your arms around his neck while jus swaying with each other
• he’d also be so gentle with you
• like he wouldn’t want you to burn yourself so he does all the stove and heat shit while you sit there like a passenger princess
• would also 100% stand behind you while cutting vegetables and have his hands on yours, guiding you on how to do it right OWNDIWMD
• NEXT, watching movies
• you two dont even watch a movie i swear
• its literally like back ground music😭
• you two would get blankets and snacks and everything
• and then spend 30min trying to find a movie while eating from the movie snacks
• once you guys find a movie, the snacks are gone
• so then you two opted for jus cuddling
• BUT THIS MAN CANT KEEP HIS EYES OFF YOU
• like you would be watching the movie and enjoying it, but the moment you look up this mfs eyes connect with yours
• he literally couldn’t care less about the movie with how youre lying so close to him for warmth
• “what?” “youre so pretty baby”
• MY HEART
• you two also start laughing out of no where too
• like literally you would be watching the movie and start smiling trying to keep your laughing and then suddenly you jus cant keep it in anymore, especially when you look at him
• CUDDLING WITH HIM? a dream come true i fear
• like i said, he would be so gentle with you its insane
• like you would get into bed with him and he would lie a whole meter from you😭
• thats until you move closer to him, then he would definitely let you rest your head on his chest
• OH he would definitely play with your hair/rub your scalp
• definitely pull you closer when you fall asleep and have your limbs tangled with his
• but if its jus a nap, then he would definitely make fun of you
• “why you so lazy?” “i knew you wanted to cuddle with me, you love me that much”
• thats until you decide to throw some hands
• then he starts laughing and you two kinda fight
• niki standing by the door like: 🧍‍♂️
• LMAO but back to this, he would make sure he doesn’t hurt you
• poor baby wouldn’t forgive himself if he hurt you
• would let you win bc he loves you that much
• overall 10/10 experience, never a dull moment with him!
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watercolorofthemoon · 2 years
Text
i forced my roommate to watch both LOTR and The Hobbit with me. Here are some highlights
LOTR:
Roomie: I like this gandalf dude Me: Oh yeah me too. he's a bit questionable sometimes but we love him
30 seconds later, gandalf fighting saruman: Roomie: NO MY SKRUNKLY
Roomie: awe sam is a precious boy Me, internally: oh you dont even know the half of it
merry and pippin stealing crops: Roomie: ARE THEY THE BASTARD LITTLE BROTHERS?? me: I mean i gues- Roomie: FOUND FAMILY LETS FUCKING GO
Elrond being disappointed and having strong eyebrows: Roomie: i feel like i've let down my dad and i dont even have a dad
Roomie: i don't really like boromir that much- me, pausing the movie to explain why boromir is extremely valid: I WILL HAVE NO BOROMIR SLANDER Roomie: is this bc he's a himbo
Roomie: this thorin guy sounds pretty gay if he's given bilbo this thing thats worth more than the shire me, internally: YOU HAVE NO IDEA MOTHERFUCKER
gandalf dying: roomie: NO MY BOY
roomie: please tell me gimli and legolas are gay, because everyone else seems extremely straight me: they arguably one of the gayest duos, yes. roomie: oh good. i thought they straight-washed sam for no reason me: i mean. there are a lot of frodo and sam moments that have no heterosexual explanation viggo breaking his toes: me, practically bursting at the seams: roomie: oh god what is it me: DID YOU KNOW-
gandalf is alive: roomie: FUCK YEAH MY BOY
me, explaining the uruk-hai: roomie: fucked up of a yas character to do that tbh (referring to saruman's manicure)
theoden being stubborn at helm's deep: roomie: okay i like him BUT COME ONNN MAN
eowyn picking up merry before they ride to gondor: roomie: I KNOW I WANTED TO KISS HER FOr A REASON MWAH MWAH EOWYN me:...she gets a bf roomie: NOT ANYMORE
aragorn: for frodo roomie, bursting into tears: me: whoa whoa u good roomie: ITS HIS DAD. ITS FRODO'S DAD.
sam literally carrying frodo up a mountain: roomie:...thats a bit gay mount doom blowing up: roomie: thats unecessary and homophobic
frodo sailing to the undying lands: roomie: TAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH YOU YOU COWARD
The Hobbit:
the scene with baby bilbo: roomie: NAUR I LOVE HIM
bilbo and gandalf interacting as adults: roomie: this feels like it could go very wrong thorin finally showing up: roomie: listen im gay but i'd consider it me: he's probably also gay roomie: mlm and wlw solidarity okay we're bffs now
bilbo running out of the door: roomie: again. this feels like this could go very wrong. me, internally: oh fuck how do they KNOW already
thorin throwing down his weapon bc bilbo got caught by trolls: roomie:....thats....sus. me:...if this is sus...oh boy...
thorin's obvious dislike of elves @ rivendell: roomie: okay so. explain to me why thorin doesn't like elves again- me: did you not watch the entire introduction to thorin? roomie: NO WAIT I REMEMBER THE BLOND BITCH
saruman showing up: roomie: ew.
galadriel showing up: roomie: HELLO SAILOR AWOOGA AWOOGA
bilbo and thorin nearly falling off at the mountain pass: thorin: he's been lost ever since he stepped out his front door roomie: WDYM YOU'RE ALL FUCKED UP- thorin stop being mean to your husband
the entirety of the goblin tunnels and gollum: roomie: this does not bode well. at all. the ring showing up: roomie: I WAS RIGHT
azog versus thorin scene: roomie: dumb bitch...OH NO DOES HE DIE- bilbo to the rescue: oh no its chill, just gay
the iconic carrock scene: roomie:....this is incredibly gay bestie me: i'm aware.
the entirety of the beorn's house arc: roomie: ...i like beorn. he's feral and skrunkly. so is radaghast.
legolas showing up: roomie: *surprised pikachu face*
tauriel and kili's interactions: roomie: damn i was hoping she would be gay me: i mean with the right headcanons she can totally be a lesbian roomie: UR SO RIGHT OMG
kili getting shot with arrow: roomie: NO THE GAYS-
the laketown master existing: roomie: EAT THE RICH.
bilbo and thorin on the boat together: roomie: oh they definitely fucked in laketown-
tauriel healing kili and them holding hands: roomie: oh no don't make me feel sad for straight ppl me: again. they don't have to be straight. roomie: I KNOW BUT ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT
bilbo waking up smaug: roomie: oh bilbo...oh you sweet summer child...you stupid bitch.
thorin threatening bilbo initially: roomie: oh fuck. it got worse. me, internally: oh honey. oh no.
thorin's gold sickness and then nearly killing bilbo at the ramparts: roomie: NO THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY AND HAPPY HOW COULD YOU
*doesn't say anything almost the entire battle until the kili and fili die* roomie: noooo the skrunklies NOOOOOOO
thorin, fucking dies in bilbo's arms: roomie: *turns to look at me with the most murderous look on her face* me: *nervous laughter* so about it getting worse- roomie: IM GOING TO KILL YOU.
end for now, if we end up watching trop together ill let yall know <3
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