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averykedavra · 3 years

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pairing: platonic anxceit

word count: 1351

warnings: hurt/comfort, open ending

“Do you ever feel like it went too fast?” Virgil asked, without looking up.

Janus glanced at him very quickly so Virgil wouldn’t notice. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“You do.” Virgil was reading something on his phone and bunching his hoodie around his wrists. As if he wanted to pretend this conversation wasn’t happening. “Acceptance. Redemption. Whatever. You got yours a while ago, and I just...I dunno. I wondered.”

“If it happened too fast?” Janus repeated, turning the words over in his head. “After years of isolation, I would say it didn’t come quickly enough.”

“Yeah, but that’s not what I mean,” Virgil said. “I mean the actual thing. ‘Cause when I got accepted, it was quick. Too quick. Like everyone just decided, right then, that I could be part of the party.”

Janus decided not to answer, just to see if Virgil would continue.

He did. “And it was like a state of emergency, then. You know? There wasn’t another option.” He pulled at his sleeve. “I know they care about me. I care about them. But...yeah. You know what I mean, right? It didn’t start out with them trying to help me. It wasn’t about me. I was hurting Thomas, it was a crisis.” Virgil’s voice dipped to a mumble. “Makes me think things have to hit rock bottom for any of us to change.”

Janus swallowed, and realized he was looking at Virgil again. He quickly looked away and busied himself with adjusting his gloves. “And what’s wrong with that methodology? Sometimes a wake-up call can trigger what’s needed.”

“You know what’s wrong with that!” Virgil sounded frustrated, but not like he usually did with Janus. Like he really, genuinely wanted Janus to understand. “If we wait until the eleventh hour, everything’s just gonna fester. Thomas is gonna improve jolt by jolt, and if stuff slips through the cracks, it’ll never get fixed! Just ‘cause stuff isn’t the worst it could literally be right now doesn’t mean it shouldn’t get better.”

“We can’t aim for perfection,” Janus said. “If we try to fix every tiny thing, no matter how inconsequential, at all times? I would definitely enjoy that kind of workload and vigilance. Sometimes you don’t need to be on your guard.”

“You’re calling me paranoid.” Virgil blew out a breath of air. It rustled his bangs. Janus was looking at him again--shit. “Maybe you’ve got a point. But maybe I’ve got one, too. There’s a middle ground between fix everything all the time because nothing’s good enough and let everything become a trash can until it spills over. Right?”

“Look at you, believing in a middle ground. How forward-thinking.” Janus couldn’t resist the jab. “Next you’ll tell me some people aren’t inherently evil. And, gasp! That two different perspectives can both be true!”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get all smug on me.” Virgil paused. “I’ve changed. You know that.”

“I definitely don’t,” Janus said. “And it wasn’t just because of one major crisis, was it?”

“What?”

“You pin your acceptance on a singular moment. As if the official words made it true, not the actions.” Janus looked up at the ceiling and kept his voice level. Virgil was right--honesty was easier when you didn’t acknowledge it. “Yet even before you were accepted, you had become one of the group. And afterwards, they worked to include you, help you, understand you. They worked with you. That’s your acceptance. It’s continuing to this day.”

Virgil cleared his throat. “So you’re just proving my point that we need to fix things bit by bit?”

“I’m saying we’re already doing that.” Janus huffed. “We could be better at it, obviously. But no change is a single isolated incident, and to think that your acceptance was only because of the emergency...” Janus trailed off. hoping he could get away without finishing the sentence.

“Yeah?”

Damn it, Virgil. “It’s lying to yourself,” Janus finished. “And it’s wrong.”

“Oh.” Virgil sounded very small, for a second. If they weren’t across the living room from each other--if they weren’t years away from friendship--Janus might have put a hand on his shoulder.

“You are here because they want you,” Janus said, the truth stinging his tongue. “Things are changing because you all want to be better.”

“And you?” Virgil asked after a quiet pause. “Do you...want to be better? Do you really feel like you’re not another crisis-induced 180 degree turn?”

Janus counted the cracks on the ceiling. Of course he didn’t feel that way. He belonged here, and it was only a matter of time before the rest of them realized that. He didn’t need to be better. He was the constant--the others had to change.

Or he needed to change to suit them, and he wouldn’t be able to. If he wasn’t good enough as is, he had no idea how to fix that.

Or maybe both things were true at once. All of them could be better. All of them could be worse.

“Sometimes I agree with you,” Janus finally said. “Sometimes I think that I am another friendship of convenience. Thomas needs me, so I am accepted. That there’s nothing more to it--that everyone has an agenda.” He sighed. “But unfortunately, I’m not cynical enough to believe that.”

“You like us,” Virgil said with a hint of a tease.

“Unfortunately,” Janus repeated, smirking at the ceiling. “I should distrust you all. I should treat this as a convenient exchange of affection for assistance. I should look at the years of isolation and say it could never be erased. But... there were moments, even before I was accepted, where change was starting to happen.”

“Not on my end.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Janus said. “You spoke to me and you looked me in the eyes. That was change.”

Virgil huffed.

“And hopefully, there will be more change.” Janus was thankful Virgil was not looking at him, because that meant Janus could smile. “And more rest, of course, because self-care is important. We should appreciate the way things are, not just toil over self-improvement.”

“Yeah, I used to think like that, too.” Virgil almost sounded fond. “But it’s not as much work as it seems like.”

“Oh, yes, transforming myself from the dastardly villain, befriending my former foes, and undoing years of distrust and lies is just a walk in the park.”

“What do you think you’ve been doing right now?”

Janus jerked his head around. Virgil was smirking at his phone.

“You’re literally doing it,” Virgil said, still smirking. “You’re literally improving yourself right now. ‘It’s so hard, woe is me’? Come off it, this is a polite conversation we’re having and you’re not covered in hives yet.”

“I resent your tone,” Janus said. “Do you think change will magically occur if I keep gaining friendship points through banter with you?”

“Probably can’t hurt.” Virgil thumbed at his phone and shrugged. “Like you said, actions speak louder than words.”

“Yes, no words are involved in this conversation right now.”

“You knew what I meant. Jackass.”

Janus rolled his eyes. Virgil still wasn’t looking at him, but Janus wasn’t looking away, and that was a start. “No, I totally didn’t.”

“Good,” Virgil said. “And I got what you were saying, too.” He waved a hand at Janus. “We’re talking and not killing each other. This is how acceptance works. Congrats.”

“A high bar.”

“For you and me? It’s progress.”

Janus settled on the couch and scuffed his feet on the carpet. The TV sat in front of them, blank and empty. Virgil was contorted comfortably in the recliner, scrolling on his phone again. They weren’t actually that far apart from each other, Janus realized. And Virgil didn’t seem to care.

Fine, maybe it was progress. Maybe this was how acceptance was supposed to feel--not one big, glorious epiphany. Not a half-baked speech as the plane was going down. Acceptance was steady and quiet and almost invisible, and it didn’t end for a long, long time.

Janus was alright with that.

“As a fair warning to the antisocial,” he said, turning on the TV, “I’m going to watch a few episodes of Avatar. Stay, or don’t, I hardly mind.”

Virgil paused and glanced up through his bangs. “Which episodes?”

“Only the filler episodes. If I see a hint of plot or character, I skip to the next one.”

“You’re the worst,” Virgil said, cracking a smile. “I’m in.”

#holy shit i'm posting writing everyone take a picture #sanders sides #janus sanders #virgil sanders #hurt/comfort #holy shit i can't actually believe im doin this #but i was tired and mushy and i was like why not drabble #and then. huh #this isnt my usual style it's not anything coherent it's just some words #might taglist this later. might not #but it feels good to write these guys again #especially when it feels like it's just for me #altho u guys can enjoy it too of course dhgshjksls #anyway. yeah idk what these tags are about but coming back to an interest when uve changed just a bit is fun <3 #u get to figure out what u liked and wanna keep with u #and i liked writing small dialogue shit like this so that's what i'm gonna do #at least this once. no promises on the rest of everything #but if u stuck around til the end of this post? or if u stuck around for way longer #i appreciate u a lot #and if i'm writing for anyone it's for u guys #thanks <3 #averywrites

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unbridgeabledistances · 3 years

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hi y’all<3 here’s a new section of the gallavich as seen from alternate POVs fic, this time featuring lip!!!! (i wanted to wait til after the ✨lickey drama✨ in the new ep before posting, but then i decided against it bc i didn’t want to re-write this lol)

i started to have way too many feelings while writing this so it’s a little lengthy and contemplative, but rest assured it features some domestic fluff/ian and mickey being disgustingly in love- i hope u enjoy<3

Lip shuffled into the kitchen of the Gallagher house, opening the fridge door and reaching past the clanging beer bottles to grab a metal soda can on the way back of the shelf, hearing a faint fizz escape as he popped the tab. It was late, the moonlight streaming in across the kitchen through the worn curtains and pooling on the kitchen floor— after Tami had crashed in their bed at the apartment after a long day at work and Freddie was sleeping soundly in his crib, Lip had come by the Gallagher house, without really knowing why. He just needed to clear his head, to get some distance from Tami and all her relentless nagging about moving and apartment hunting and his colossally obvious fuck-up with the bikes— he just needed some space, some less stifling air to breathe outside of their half-packed apartment crammed with boxes lining the walls.

It was funny; no matter how much energy Lip had poured into he and Tami’s first apartment, into painting the walls and agonizing over their kitchen backsplash like it was his first-born son, whenever Lip thought about home, whenever he felt that pit of uneasiness growing in his stomach and he just needed a place where he could lie back on a couch and loosen the knots in his shoulders and breathe in familiar air that would fill him up, instead of the too-clean smell of Tami’s flowery potpourri that she’d placed on the expensive coffee table in their living room— Lip always found his feet leading him across the slabs of sidewalk and past the chain link fences towards the Gallagher house, no matter the time of night. He had only been in the house for a few minutes before he felt the tight-knit something in his chest begin to unfurl— he didn’t even want to start to think about what was lodged there. This had been a crazy fucking couple of months, and he wasn’t going to start getting sappy about selling the house now, not when they were so close. He’d dug a hole too deep this time, and he needed the money. He couldn’t fuck up again— not with Freddie to take care of. No matter what it cost him.

So that’s how Lip ended up sitting at the Gallagher kitchen table at 2 a.m. on a Thursday night, sipping at an overly-sugary pop that was no substitute for what he really wanted to be drinking right now—he could imagine how it would warm the insides of his stomach, how it would cushion whatever weird fucking ache was in his chest right now. But— no. Fuck no. He wasn’t going to do that now. Everything about selling the house, about moving on, was about getting his shit straight— about leaving the bad parts of this sagging roof and these stained floorboards behind him.

Lip slouched in the wooden kitchen chair, scrolling on his phone and finally letting out a breath he didn’t really know he had been holding in all day, when he heard a creaking of footsteps padding at the top of the stairs— too heavy to be Liam or Debbie, too careful and unfumbling to be Frank dragging himself through the house. Lip flickered a glance up from where he was sitting and met Ian’s eyes as he turned the corner of the stairs, his skin looking translucent and overly pale in the moonlight like the ginger motherfucker he was.

Ian nodded his head towards Lip in acknowledgement, like he wasn’t surprised in the slightest that his older brother with a whole ass family and apartment of his own was decidedly squatting in the kitchen of his childhood home, drinking a pathetic-looking can of Dr. Pepper. Ian slid open the fridge door, grabbing a beer and swiftly popping the cap off by knocking the bottle on the side of the counter—and then in an instant it became one of those quiet, familiar nights when it was just Lip and Ian in the kitchen, sometimes letting easy conversations flow between them, but other times, just like this— just sinking into each other’s presence in the silence. Ian’s shadow mingling with the moonlight on the kitchen floor immediately snapped the atmosphere from lonely and self-pitying and stale to something lighter, something familiar—like the worn, buttery leather of a baseball glove that fits just right.

Instantly Lip was brought back to so many nights before this, of he and Ian orbiting each other in the kitchen at night— when they were kids and would creep down the stairs and eat fistfuls of junk food that Fiona had forbidden, or steal warm sips of the open beers Frank had left on the counter. This was where they’d processed Monica’s return, late at night while they passed a cigarette between them and Ian hadn’t tried to hide the tears that were freely rolling down his freckled cheeks, back when they were both just confused kids who clung to each other— this was where they’d processed Frank’s alcoholic meltdowns, too many to count, and all the love and loss and confusion that had passed between these walls, all the collateral damage of living in this fucking neighborhood. And Lip felt a sudden pang in his gut, sharp and present, when he realized that it might be one of the last nights that he and Ian got to spend in the kitchen like this.

Lip immediately shoved the thought down with all his might, a hydraulic press squeezing out any sentimentality. He had to do this— for Freddie, for Tami. He had to man up and move on, even if it meant physically wounding the crumbling walls to ease the pain of the parallel jagged wounds somewhere deep in his chest, or screaming and shouting until veins popped in his neck, so loud that he knew he was radiating his pain outwards like a fucking atomic bomb.

But tonight, Lip had no more fight left to give. He just wanted to let these four walls hold him one last time, without even realizing that was what he had needed until this moment. Ian slid a chair out from the kitchen table and sat beside him, leaning back and dragging out a slow, sleepy breath.

Lip cleared his throat, softly. “Where’s Mick?”

“Passed out upstairs.” Ian scrubbed a hand over his face. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Lip raised his eyebrow, almost involuntarily, and Ian immediately jutted his chin up in a half-nod, an affirmation, as he leaned back even farther and took the first sip of his beer. No, he wasn’t manic and yes, he was fine. After all the years that had passed since Ian was still figuring this shit out, Lip sometimes forgot that checking in on him wasn’t really his job, not anymore.

Lip took another sip from his soda can, a movement to fill the easy silence. “How was your guys’ night?”

Ian shrugged non-committally, his shoulders still slumped back in the chair, his lips puckered around the mouth of the bottle as he stared off into the distance at the peeling kitchen wallpaper. “Eh. It was fine. I dragged Mickey out to try and make more gay friends. Ended up being a mistake.”

Lip held back a laugh, taking a sip from his own drink to mask his smirk. He had ample auditory evidence that Mickey was plenty as gay as Ian, but it was still hard to imagine Mickey leaning into all of this shit— Ian used to wear golden underwear and frequent gay clubs and go to social justice brunches, but none of that really seemed like it was Mickey’s scene.

“Oh yeah? Mickey not the easiest person to befriend?” Lip said it with his eyebrows raised, like the joke was obvious.

Ian looked up at him, like he’d been snapped out of a sleepy train of thought, staring earnestly like Lip’s jab had flown right over his head. “Actually, it was kind of my fault. I was the one who made us leave this dinner party thing we got invited to. They were all talking shit about the Southside, about how they hated their families, and I couldn’t really… connect with them, I guess.”

Lip pondered that, taking a breath and stretching his arms above his head. God, he was sore— he hadn’t even been fucking working, aside from hauling those bikes from place to place to avoid the cops, but all the pent up stress and tension was starting to linger in his bones.

“Yeah, it was the same for me. In college, or whatever. Joaquin was the only person I really talked to, because he got all the shit I was always going through.”

Ian nodded contemplatively—but he was staring off into space again, almost like he was half asleep. Lip took another sip of his soda. He could bring up the house shit again right now—it was all that they’d been talking about for the past few weeks—but for some reason it felt too raw, too intense to bring up right now, like it would cut through this peaceful moment, this island in the vast sea of uncertainty Lip knew he was bringing down on all of their heads. So in this moment, he opted for smoother waters.

“Why’d you guys go looking for new friends, anyways?”

Ian finally broke out of whatever drowsy, pensive trance he’d been in, his lips sloping into a smile. “Mickey kept giving me shit for always doing what you do, after breakfast today. I figured… I don’t know, I just got all pissy and tried to prove him wrong.”

Lip felt the corner of his mouth tick upward at that. “Guess you’re stuck with me.”

Ian grinned, and held out his beer bottle, stretching his arm across the table. Lip tapped it with his soda can with a light “Cheers,” then took the final sip. He crushed the can to a disk on the table, pressing it down firmly with the heel of his palm and watching the sides compress. Ian’s eyes were cast downward at the table, watching his movements.

“How’s stuff with you and Tami going, all the packing and shit?”

Lip turned the flattened can on its side, contemplatively spinning it like a top on the table and fidgeting with it between his fingers.

“Honestly? I’m fucking exhausted.”

He could hear the breathiness as he said it, how deflated his own voice sounded. And Lip knew could make himself say more— he knew if anyone would get it, Ian would.

“It’s just… fuck, man.”

He looked up and Ian was staring directly at him now, his expression unguarded— listening. Listening like he always did in these moments. Lip let out a low chuckle, trying to shield his own vulnerability.

“How’d we get so fucking old? How is this… it, y’know? Finally leaving the fucking nest, or whatever.”

Ian smiled, placing his beer on the table. “I think you already left the nest when you had a baby and moved into an apartment with your girlfriend.”

Lip shrugged, fiddling with the crushed can again between his fingertips. “Yeah. Guess you’re right.”

“And you are the one making us do this, for the record.”

If Ian’s tone wasn’t as playful or as tentative as it was, Lip would have worried that he was upset— but judging by Ian’s still-comfortable slouch and his steady expression, Lip knew he was fine— he was weathering the storm, just like Lip was.

Ian leaned forward.

“Hey. Mickey was giving me shit—but it is true. You’re my best friend, even though you can be a fucking asshole sometimes.” Ian’s lips curved into a crooked smile. “Nothing’s gonna change that.”

Ian’s eyes flickered around the kitchen as he spoke, and Lip heard everything that was unsaid. Even though you’re kicking us out of the house. Even though you’re changing everything. Even though there isn’t a focal point to our lives anymore.

You’re my best friend.

And Lip felt that pang in his gut again, sharp like a dagger.

He’d said it before, and he’d had no problem saying it over and over again in Mickey’s absence, up until the months before the wedding— Ian did always go a little bit “loco” when Mickey was around.

Which, fuck him, I guess, for caring about his little brother with an undiagnosed mental illness who was off living in the Milkovich House of Horrors slash meth lab with Mickey fucking Milkovich, the bully with greasy hair who Lip wrote papers for in high school and who now was a literal, actual, godforsaken pimp. Lip had seen a teenage Ian bruised and drunk and curled into himself crying over Mickey too many times to ever think that this shit was a good idea— and years later, when Ian almost threw away everything, almost threw away stability and sanity and his fucking family to follow Mickey Milkovich across the Mexican border, Lip knew he had to say something, even though it was an unspoken rule that he and Ian didn’t really critique each other’s love lives since the Mandy-and-Karen fiascos of years past.

So he’d said it, that day in the kitchen, after Ian had returned on a Greyhound bus and they were still processing the dull pain of Monica’s loss— and Ian had taken the feedback with a closed-lip smile, like his head was somewhere else, as he picked at the corner of the beer bottle label with his thumb.

And then less than a year later Mickey was released anyways, and ended up standing in a tank top and boxers in the middle of the Gallagher living room, when the house was crawling with strangers and Freddie was barely two weeks old— and Lip had taken in a sharp breath, a bundle of hesitant nerves sprouting for whatever the fuck this situation was going to become; but not one that he could really give attention to, with all the other bullshit that was pulling at his focus, like the desperate screeching of his newborn kid and the mascara running down Tami’s face.

Later that night, when he’d had a spare moment to breathe and Tami was finally calmed down and sleeping in their cramped bedroom, he’d run into Ian in the moonlit hallway as he was stumbling his way out of the bathroom, drowsily rubbing his eyes with his hair sticking up. And Lip had stopped him with a whisper, placing a hand to tap Ian’s shoulder as Ian blinked the sleep from his eyes.

“Hey. So uh… I see Mickey’s out.”

He’d seen the defenses immediately raise in Ian’s eyes, like he knew what Lip was going to say next.

“Yeah.” Ian had said it soft, quietly, like he was afraid of someone waking.

You sure that’s a good idea? Lip could feel the words itching on the tip of his tongue, and he was aching to say them again, all these years later— and yes, maybe his head was so wrapped up in his own shit that he didn’t really have the authority to be doling out relationship advice to his little brother right now, but so much of this reminded him of things that had happened in the past, of Mickey Milkovich crashing on Ian’s bedroom floor until he inevitably couldn’t anymore, until the pressure cooker of his presence mingled with Ian’s inevitably exploded— or at least that was how Lip saw it. There were too many wounds, and they were bound to leave scars— Lip was honestly surprised as fuck that the Gallagher house was Mickey’s first stop out of prison, after everything that had gone down between the two of them.

But, for Ian’s sake, Lip tried to reign it in—despite the fact that they’d just been commiserating about “being in love with crazy people” as they crouched on the living room stairs the night before as Ian sipped on a beer, sputtering out a “fuck no” when Lip asked if he was going to marry Mickey (which was an equally as batshit question as if Lip was going to marry Tami). Despite all of this— now that Mickey was back, Lip could see that this was something Ian wanted, that this was something Ian was treading carefully into, one more time. He was definitely stronger now; even Lip could see that.

“He gonna be hanging around here a while?”

Ian had given a gentle, sleepy smile. “Yeah. Think so.”

And Lip had just reached out, and clapped Ian’s sleep-warmed body on the shoulder. “Sounds good, man.”

Ian had walked the remaining length of the hallway, opening the bedroom door— and in the shadows, Lip could see that Mickey was curled on the old, concave mattress of Ian’s single bed that he’d slept on since they were kids— and Ian had lifted the thin blanket and pressed up next to him, the mattress sinking beneath their collective weight, settling in and pressing a kiss to the top of a snoring Mickey’s head without a second thought. Huh.

That was the beginning of Lip starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, this time with Mickey would be different— and it was. As Mickey started to become a daily fixture in the Gallagher house, constantly pinned to Ian’s side, Lip had noticed how something solid had shifted—they weren’t reckless kids anymore, for starters. He hadn’t really seen Mick and Ian physically together since Ian was catapulting off the deep end, in the weeks after Ian had gotten dragged away by the P.I.s and Mickey had gotten locked up for some crazy fucking stunt trying to murder Sammy. Things were too intense then, too technicolor—for some reason, Lip thought Mickey being back meant that they’d return to being that way.

But now here was this guy, placing a gentle hand on Ian’s chest and saying “Woah, wait a minute” to protect Ian from the batshit P.O. that had just barged through the door—and Lip couldn’t help but realize that was something that he would have done to protect Ian, in a universe where Mickey was still behind bars.

After then, Lip just kept seeing it— the ways that Mickey showed up for Ian. Not even in the ways that he used to, like forcing Ian to take his meds back when everything was uncertain and Ian was slipping through their fingers like sand in a sieve; but in a more solid, adult way, in a way that made Ian buzz whenever he was around him, in a way that made Ian happier and lighter. And maybe it was just the sex—part of it had to be the fucking sex, considering how loud they always were— but Lip realized, after a couple of weeks of Mickey’s presence in the house before their whole eventual engagement fiasco, that Mickey was Ian’s friend, in addition to all the other things he was. After all the years of uncertainty, they’d finally grown the fuck up— Mickey was someone who brought out the best in Ian, and it was like Ian had been waiting for this moment, for Mickey by his side, before he could fully and totally bloom.

And it was weird how emotional that made Lip— after seeing Ian as a hollow shell in a jumpsuit pushing garbage cans around a college campus, or pretending to be someone he wasn’t who wore patterned button-up shirts and threw around fucking useless five-dollar words that Lip didn’t understand like “gender identity” and “intersectionality”— Ian had finally made it, beyond being the bruised, scrawny kid getting sexually abused by a creepy 30 year old man in the back room of a mini-mart, or getting high off his ass every night and starving himself to fit into a golden thong, or wearing a baggy janitor suit with dark circles under his eyes and pallid skin. Ian had done that shit on his own, and made himself into something in Mickey’s absence, sure— but so much of him being the full, happy person he was in this moment was because of Mickey, and Lip could see that now.

Ian was himself— he wasn’t a shadow anymore.

And that was why Lip had said he thought he should marry Mickey, in the end— because there was no doubt in his mind that Mickey Milkovich wasn’t going anywhere, not anytime soon.

Lip could still see it now, in the way that Ian was lounging comfortably in the living room, like he had his whole life— but now Mickey was resting just as comfortably beside him. It was a few weeks after that night in the kitchen, and Lip had just pitched the FOR SALE sign in the Gallagher front yard— now everyone was huddled in the living room, for what they now knew was one of their last lingering nights in this space. Liam was sitting next to Lip, pressed into his side, seeking the comfort that Lip knew he needed through all of these massive fucking changes— Franny was playing on the floor and Debbie was sitting beside her, and across the room Ian and Mickey were pressed side-by-side on the fraying loveseat, scrolling through the lease document for their new apartment on the battered laptop. They were murmuring things to each other that Lip couldn’t really make out— but Mickey was pressed against Ian, slouching into him slightly, and Ian’s eyes were light. In his flicker of a glance towards them, Lip noticed that Mickey was playing with Ian’s hand, swiping a finger over his wedding ring, as Ian scrolled through the paperwork and started to read all the contract information out loud— and Lip smiled to himself as he tried to tune out all the sappy bullshit that was going on in that corner of the room.

Ian was going to be just fine.

Hour later Lip strode out the door to the front porch, a cigarette he’d bummed off of Ian wrapped in his fist— he didn’t smoke anymore, especially not under the same roof as Tami, but there was something about the gravity of this night, of the flimsy red and white sign rooted in the front yard, that made Lip’s fingertips itch for a cigarette and made his brain buzz with the want of nicotine to dull the sharp edges of everything he was feeling—for smoke to float in front of his face while he sat on the front steps just one more time.

He perched on the front steps as the sun was just starting to set, the fish-scale shadows of the chain link fence encroaching further and further into the yard as he flicked at his lighter.

He heard a light cough from somewhere in front of him— and saw that Mickey was outside too, blowing smoke out of his mouth and leaning against the fence in the front yard facing the house. Lip nodded at him in acknowledgement, then took the first drag. Fuck, he’d needed this.

“You gonna miss this place?”

Mickey said it into the open air, like he isn’t really talking to Lip— his eyes were off in the distance, staring at the paint-chipped front façade of the house. Which was fucking bullshit—why would Mickey be staring absentmindedly, almost fucking wistfully, at the Gallagher house?

It’s not like he and Mickey didn’t talk— they definitely did, pragmatically flinging banter across the kitchen to each other at breakfast when coordinating rides for Liam or grocery list items when Debbie was off at work, existing in the same space every morning— and Mickey helped him haul literal tons of iron when he’d helped him steal the bikes, had haggled over his cut. But never like this—never with any weight, never in a way that was this casual, or this familial, about fucking feelings.

Part of that was probably because it was hard as fuck to worm your way into the Gallagher family—as wide open as their door always seemed to be, with people filtering in and out and crashing on hallway floors or the lumpy couch, this house only continued to function because of its nucleus— because of Lip and Ian and Carl and Debbie and Fiona and Liam and yes, even Frank. Everyone else was a passerby, an impermanent blip crossing through the way station; Jimmy-Steve, Sean, Carl’s slew of girls, Mandy and Karen.

Monica.

None of them were Gallaghers— none of them considered this place to be home, or got all the privileges that came with that. The Gallaghers, the real Gallaghers, had seen every one of these people come and go— and something slippery suddenly crept into Lip’s realization that despite all the odds, despite all of his doubts about him—Mickey had chosen to stay close to these four walls just as much as Lip had.

“Mickey’s family.” Ian had said it over a mouthful of bacon at breakfast a few weeks ago, and Lip had immediately shot him down; but maybe there was some truth to what Ian had said, some truth to the oddly unfailing consistency to Mickey’s ten years. Which meant that maybe…

Maybe it was time to make a fucking peace offering, or whatever.

Lip hummed in acknowledgement to Mickey’s question, pulling himself out of his train of thought.

“Hey. Mick.”

Mickey looked up at where Lip was leaning on the porch, his brows furrowing like he was bracing himself for a confrontation. “Yeah?”

“My head’s been too far up my ass the past couple of months to say it, but, uh. I’m glad you’re family, y’know?”

He’d been passively thinking it for months— but he’d never said it to Mickey, never this directly. He hoped Mickey got it, without brushing it off or shooting him down with some snarky fucking comment like he always did. Lip meant it— he was glad, he was grateful, he was ready to let Mickey Milkovich keep being a part of his fucked up familial life. And he hoped that Mickey saw that.

Mickey just rolled his eyes, taking another drag of his cigarette—but he didn’t say anything in reply, not for a moment. And then:

“You’re as sappy as your fucking brother, Phillip.”

#i’ve said it once and ill say it again nothing makes me more emo than ian and mickey sharing ian’s old bed #also sorry this was kinda ANGSTY what can i say #lip is Too Much #gallavich #gallavich fic #shameless #shameless fic #gallavich fanfiction #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #lip gallagher #ian and mickey #ian x mickey #ixm

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whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst · 3 years

Text

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.3

Might fuck around and post the third part, it was supposed to be a one post tale but here we are

Wu Family Chat

Wu Erbai: One of you boys needs to update me right now, or I’m taking a squad to Zhang Rishan’s restaurant.

Wu San Xing: the fuck is going on my phone is blowing up and I haven’t even disappeared

Panzi: Sir, what’s the problem? Have the Zhangs moved against us?

Wu San Xing: if this is some domestic shit i s2g there is only room in this family for one asshole mess, Wu Xie is gonna have to be content with being the himbo mess, i want it on record

Wu Erbai: How lovely to see where your priorities are. Report in, you three, or I will take drastic steps.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY FOLKSES SO THE KINDA-SITUATION IS SOMEWHAT UNDER CONTROL MAYBE

Wu Erbai: …elaborate.

Wu Xie: hey uncle, I’m okay! Don’t worry:)

Wu Erbai: I will be the judge of that. Tell me what on earth is happening.

Panzi: Wu Xie, do you need us? I can have someone there in under ten minutes.

Wu Xie: nope, all good! If you send them your people might see some er cosmetic shifts to the building and also smoke but that’s just from Xiao Ge using his sword and the smoke grenade they threw and maybe that explosion later:)

Wu San Xing: see he’s fine

Wang Pangzi: SO ESSENTIALLY THE SHITSHOW DE JOUR IS A NECKLACE THAT WAS FOUND RECENTLY IN A ZHANG TOMB IT IS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THE WEARER, SPECIFICALLY A ZHANG WEARER

AND FROM WHAT WE HAVE SURMISED IT ACTIVATED LAST WEEK RIGHT AROUND THE TIME TIANZHEN GOT SICK. AND APPARENTLY THE ZHANGS ARE ALL JUST CHOOSING TO IGNORE THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THAT. IVE MENTIONED IT FIVE TIMES BC ZHANG RISHAN’S FACE TWITCHES AND ITS GREAT IM HOPING TO GIVE HIM WRINKLES

Wu Xie: the necklace went haywire when we arrived and got near it, it started glowing really brightly. Then Zhang Rishan used a smoke grenade thingy to herd Xiao Ge and Pangzi and I into going into these small cells underground, and while they were trapped there, I was taken back upstairs to be tested against the necklace, except then—

Wang Pangzi: SHUT UP TIANZHEN IM TELLING THE STORY, YOURE THE DAMSEL AND WE WILL GET TO U. AHEM.

BASICALLY ZHANG RISHAN MADE A SERIES OF SUCH BAD DECISIONS WE MIGHT AS WELL CALL HIM WU XIE AND BASICALLY THE NECKLACE PROTECTED WU XIE FROM SOME SUICIDAL FOLKS TRYING TO PUT AN IV IN HIM TO ASSESS THE NECKLACE EFFECT ON HIM BLAH BLAH MAD SCIENCE STUFF AND THEN BASICALLY THE NECKLACE KINDA BLEW THINGS UP A LITTLE IN AN EFFORT TO DEFEND ITS WEARER SO THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS, TIANZHEN IS ABLE TO CAUSE PROPERTY DAMAGE AT THE TEA HOUSE WITHOUT LIFTING A FINGER.

Wu Xie: :(

Wu Erbai: I have so many questions but I think I’ll hold them til the end. Or try to forget this altogether.

Wang Pangzi: XIAOGE AND I WERE TEMPORARILY STUCK BUT WE HEARD WU XIE SCREAM WHICH WE LEARNED LATER WAS BC HOLY SHIT SENTIENT JEWELRY BUT AT THE TIME WE MAY HAVE LIGHTLY PANICKED

XIAOGE MANAGED TO BREAK DOWN AN ACTUAL CONCRETE WALL WITH HIS BODY DONT ASK ME HOW BUT HE GOT US OUT AND THEN WE GRABBED WU XIE TADAAAAA

Wu San Xing: I’m so proud of the chaos here I could cry. You try to raise them right, then they leave the nest and you just hope for the best<3

Wu Xie: I still can’t believe the two of you falling for a smoke grenade trap to separate us, like yeah I fell for it too but I expected better from you

Wang Pangzi: SHUT UP UR NEW LITTLE ENGAGEMENT NECKLACE OR WHATEVER IS THE ONLY REASON YOU MADE IT OUT WITHOUT NEEDLES BEING STUCK IN YOU

IM SO MAD AT YOU WE ARE CUDDLING LATER

Panzi: so you are all alright?

Wang Pangzi: YEP. ALSO HEI XIAZI AND XIE YUCHEN WERE THERE FOR SOME REASON BUT THEY ARE LEAVING NOW THAT XIAOGE HAS BEEN TALKED DOWN AND THUS RELATEDLY ZHANG RISHAN IS NO LONGER IN IMMINENT DANGER OF BEING BEHEADED. HEI XIAZI IS TAKING XIE YUCHEN TO DINNER AT A REALLY NICE PLACE THAT XIAO HUA WILL 100% END UP PAYING FOR.

WE ARE HAVING TEA AND DISCUSSING WHAT TO DO WITH SAID NECKLACE. AND BY THAT I MEAN WU XIE IS DISCUSSING THINGS WITH ZHANG RISHAN SINCE NOW WE ARE ALL APPARENTLY FRIENDS AGAIN OR W/E WHILE XIAOGE IS GIVING THE UNBLINKING STARE OF DOOM AND I AM ENJOYING MY TEA AND DEFINITELY NOT HOLDING ANY WEAPONS IN MY OTHER HAND AS I TYPE THIS

Wu Erbai: …well. It appears I will be having a conversation with Zhang Rishan tomorrow. It sounds as though you have it in hand for the moment, however?

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan will not be a problem for Wu Xie ever again. I will ensure it.

Wu San Xing: Panzi why don’t you ever do cute and romantic stuff like this for meeee:/

#whomst #ultimate note #wu xie #dmbj #the lost tomb #pingxie #iron triangle

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jawritter · 4 years

Text

Dean Winchester One Shots

Happy Birthday Dean pt. 1

It’s Dean’s birthday, and you realize something about yourself you never knew before… Until now…

30 Minutes til Midnight (Happy Birthday Dean pt. 2!)

Sequel ot Happy Birthday Dean, will you finally tell him how you feel?

Middle of the road

Can you keep pretending your just friends, or will it all come out in the middle of the road.

Lonely as the grave

Dean struggles with his reality visiting the graveyard in his hometown of Lawrance, Kansas

The Fool

The reader comfronts Lisa, based on the song The Fool by Leanne Walmack

The Meeting

A secret releationship getts heated during a meet up

Waiting…

Waiting on your hero hunter to come home can be one of the harderst things you ever do.

Finally Yours

Alpha!Dean is in Rut, and only one Omega can help him through it!

Home

Six years ago Christmas Eve Dean made the biggest mistake of his life under influence of the Mark of Cane.

It Was Fifteen Years Ago Today

Haunted by the past tramas even Dean needs a little comfort sometimes.

I Did It Because I Love You

Dean’s been a complete and total asshole, what happenes when the reader finally has all she can take.

Happy Valenties Day Sweetheart

Dean shows the reader a little bit of his softer side….

I Kinda Like The Disease…

Your search for your demon boyfriend takes you to New Orleans during mardi grag…

Challenge Accepted..

Requested: ok so here is a request(idk if you do these)(also it’s smut) so dean talks about how good he is in the bedroom and the reader says something along the lines like “i bet you can’t make me come” Dean challenges this. In the bedroom and you know they doing the dirty or whatever. Dean edges her and edges her and just when the reader had enough of the teasing Dean finally takes her over her edge and the reader is left with the most hot shaking orgasm ever. I hope this makes sense! ❤️ur stories!!

Your Perfect

Request: the reader is always willing to go down on Dean but when Dean goes to return the favor the reader stops him and always finds an excuse. No one has ever offered to go down on her before so she’s insecure about it and doesn’t want to look weird in from of dean. i Hope this makes sense!

Curves

Requested: Can I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader, where she really shy and dorky but believes that she really bad at sex because she is bigger? And dean shows her that she not 😊💕 I hope this make sense haha! I know this sound awkward turtle 🐢

You Deserve Better Than Me

Requested: Dean winchester x pregnant Reader. Dean feels the reader deserves better than what he can give her in his life, what will he do when he finds out that she’s expecting his baby?

Quarantine

Summery: Everyone is stuck in quarantine right now everywhere, and your stuck alone with Dean, who really needs to blow off steam… Oh what has your big mouth gotten you into now…

My Best Friend

Request: hiii i have dean x reader request! the reader and dean are friends with benefits but recently she’s just been down in the dumps and just wants some platonic affection and not sex. as the writer you can do what u want but could you add Dean playing with the readers hair? i have a weakness for it lol thanks!

Just A Dream…

Part 1

Part 2

Winchesters Fantasies 1000 follower Challenge…

Daddy’s Home

Request: Hey I know this is odd, but I really enjoy your writing and I was wondering if you could possibly do a little smutty Dean thing? Maybe using the name Lyn, and really anything is on the table, I mean, it’s Dean Winchester. (Or if you want, some daddy kink and maybe just rough stuff :o) Thank you dear!! You don’t have to if ya don’t want to, no pressure 💕💕

Like Pulling Teeth

Request: Okay, so I was just watching few recent spn episode and saw Garth episode. Which gave me an curious idea, can you write dentist reader x dean? They’re in a relationship, one day when dean eats something, it pains and reader has to look into it? and then reader says wisdom tooth extraction? Also the fear of dentist which dean already has (shown in the episode, I found it very funny) I know it’s a weird request but I also think it would be very funny🙈

Little Details…

Request: Could I maybe request a Chubby!Reader x Dean story? She’s super sweet and kind of laid back, just going along with the boys as a research partner, but she’s also super artsy and loves to draw Dean while she researches. Maybe some sweet and soft smut, oh! And maybe he plays with her hair? :) Thanks dear!! 🌻💛

Age Is Just A Number…

Request Hello :) How do feel about an age difference, post sex one-shot? Alternate universe (no hunting), consensual, not underage but quite a big age difference (like at least 10years) where Dean is like freaking out because he’s Dean and doesn’t want to destroy the girl’s life?

Mine…

Request: Could you do a one shot where the reader lives with Sam and dean they are best friends. The reader and dean have a secret relationship and dean gets jealous of the reader and Sam hanging out all day. So dean shows the reader who she belongs too in the bedroom.

Right In Front Of You…

Request: Dean x Reader. Reader is hunting with Sam and Dean, and she is constantly getting annoyed at every single thing that Dean does. And she always acts very bad with Dean with this making dean think that she hates him. And that makes mr very sad because he has feelings for her but when Dean save her sacrificing himself from a hunting gone wrong. She stars to develop feelings for him.

Jealous Of My Demons...

Requested: Dean get’s jealous of the reader’s former boyfriend Brady, who is now posses by a demon and working as a stable boy for the horseman pestilence. Who will they work this out?

Princess...

Request: Thank you for answering my question love!💕 can I request a Dean x plus size reader where she is super shy and it drives dean crazy? Fluff, smut? I’m sorry to bother you hahah and that this sounds awkward turtle 🐢 🖤😻

My Girl...

Requested: Hola! request for dean x reader: the readers current boyfriend always puts her down and one day threatens to breakup with her if she doesn’t lose weight, even though she’s not even plus sized or anything. She constantly pushes her body to the limit to lose the weight and dean notices. it ends all fluffy and protective!dean comes out and has a “talk” with the boyfriend. side note for anyone reader this: YOUR BODY IS BEAUTIFUL MAMA 💗🥺

Your Dean...

Request: Heyy! I'm sorry to be a bother. I was wondering if you can do a one shot where the reader is prone to severe panic attacks and her husband Dean is the only one who knows how to calm her down? She gets a really bad attack but Dean for some reason ain't there, and no one is able to help her but eventually he comes back and takes care of her. Sorry if this is a lot haha.

Safe. Warm. His...

Request: Are you taking requests? If so would you possibly write a one shot with Dean where the reader is in little space and just wants to cuddle and nuzzle her head in his neck and give him lots of little kisses and play with his hands? It’s just superrrr fluffy 🥺🥺🖤

One Hell Of A Thank You...

Request: Can I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader, where the reader is really quirky and dorky and goes on a date but turns out her date is a vampire and kidnapped her and dean saves her and falls in love with her, maybe some angst, fluff and smut 💕

Voices..

Request: Can I request? Dean x reader were she has an Eating Disorder and she’s recovering but today was an off day for her and starts to go back to her old habits and Dean notices and helps her through it.

His Girl...

Request: May I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader where the reader is very shy and she at a bar and some dirt bags are picking on her about her shortness and weight and dean stands up for her? Some smut and fluff ?? Also want to say you are a bop of a writer my love! ✨💕🥰❤️

Happily Ever After...

Request: Hey beautiful! May I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader where the reader does all the research for the boys and she is very shy,she a huge Disney fan, one day demons get in the bunker and make fun of her and dean stand up for her and confess his love for her (smut)? And after they cuddle and watch lady and tramp? Fluff and smut you are a gem my dear! 💕

His New Toy...

Request: Hai can I request dean x reader smut with breast bondage and nipple play?? plot (if there is any) is up to you ;)

His Heaven...

Request: Heyy I love your ABO fics and I have a request for you. You can always say no to this if you’re uncomfortable. I’ll completely understand and I’m very sorry. Can you do one with Alpha!Dean x Omega!reader. Where the reader is on a supply run and she gets assaulted and tortured by a monster and when she gets back to the bunker somehow, she only allows her Alpha anywhere near her and refuses help from anyone else. Dean takes care of her and helps her heal.

Something Worth Fighting For

Request: Hi love! Your writing is amazing and I was wondering if you could do a Dean x depressed!reader? Like dean finds the reader about to jump off the roof of the bunker after reading the note she left him and sam saying goodbye. He had never suspected anything cause she hid it so well. Dean saves her and tells her his feelings for her? You can also add any details you want or anything like that! There is no rush! Thank you!

Unlikely Places

Trigger Warning: Non-Con

Request: Hi! I love your work! Can you do a ABO? One where the reader is Beta, and Dean Alpha, and she’s his true mate/soulmate, but they don’t know it, and he gets possessive and goes into almost a feral rut where he tries to claim, and it almost kills her but Sam and Rowena save her and give Dean his Omega back? You come up with the plot because you’re amazing at that!! Please! I’d be forever in your debt!

I Hurt Too

Request: hi there! I have seen loads of fics and one shots where Dean is sleeping around/having a one night stand and the reader gets jealous and upset, but I was wondering if I could request one with the other way around? or maybe one where they sleep around equally? as smutty, fluffy, or angst as you want!!

What’s Left Of Me

Summary: Who know one little woman could have turned his whole world upside down? He had done so good alone for so long. Then here you come along, and ruin everything

Elf

Summary: Maybe being stuck at home alone with Dean for Christmas isn’t so bad after all.

Save Me

Summary: It’s not always easy being the hero, especially when no one is ever there to save you.

Saving Grace

Summary: Some things are worth fighting for, even when they think they’re not. You can either roll over and die, or you can pick yourself up off the ground and go get what you want. That’s the place Y/N now finds herself in.

Living With Regret

Summary: Death can be hard to deal with in any aspect, but when you’re in the life, it's something you deal with all to often, and carry with you until it's your turn to burn.

Happy Halloween

Summary: It’s Daddy’s favorite holiday. So what’s a good girl gonna do, but let him blow off some steam after a successful hunt?

I’ll Wait For You

Summary: Sometimes when we’re angry, hurt, or scared we say things wrong. Say things that hurt the ones we love. When Dean takes things a step to far can you find it in your heart to forgive him?

An Alpha And His Omega

Summary: Sometimes Alpha’s aren’t the assholes, sometimes words Omegas say things that can hurt too.

No, Screw You Sweetheart

Summary: You HATE Dean Winchester, I mean you really, REALLY hate Dean Winchester.

30 Minutes In Heaven

Summary: Your life, like many hunters before you, was cut short. You had no idea at the time the Fates that were at play in the universe were really those of dick angles and egotistical assholes with massive god complexes. And you also had no idea that they were really the reason you lost your life, and you had no idea why… Until around 30 minutes after you made it to Heaven.

The Devil And I

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

Summary: What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? You survived after you thought your mate had died, but how will you survive finding out he's alive, only different.

Don’t Let It Show...

Summary: She’s had enough of him, just like every other woman always seems to, and normally, he doesn’t care, but this time...this time it hurts.

Don’t Fear The Reaper

Summary: They took him from her, her knit, her king, her Dean, “cured” him, and now she’s going to get him back, she’s going to set him free.

Scars And All

Summary: You and Dean have a strange, mutual relationship, but that’s all it is, physical. Until an almost bar fight brings some things to light that you thought you’d never hear.

I Almost Lost You

Summary: Sometimes, monsters aren't always monsters...sometimes they're people.

Touch Starved

Summary: Sometimes when the hunt is hard, and his mind is loud, Dean just wants to be close to someone he loves, but is to scared to say it out loud. Thankfully, she knows him better than he knows himself.

I Wanna Be Your Everything

Summary: After a huge fight, and a week away from Dean, he’s finally decided it was okay to have the ending he’d always wanted.

One More Sunset

Summary: Dean just wants the pain to go away...

#jawritter masterlist #Dean winchester one shots #jawritter

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hesther-mcg · 3 years

Text

chained

➥ pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

➥ summary: the one where two people are chained to one another, hopelessly in love but every bit of wrong for one another

➥ rating: angst, song fic, biker!bucky au

➥ warnings: explicit language, mentions of toxic relationship

➥ a/n: happy valentines day! in the name of irony i’m going to post this today, bc i can. this has been rattling around in my noggin for a bit now and i actually rlly like this. i hope u do too. i highly recommend listening to the song while reading, its also available on spotify.

chained :: elle king ft. cameron neal chained marvel m. list

We can run away, but we can’t hide for long

And all that lingers harms us

She’d tried it—moving houses, running away from the problems she was used to, changing things. She’d already tried it, and it had worked beautifully at first. The high of being in a new place, a place all to themselves, it was wonderful. And it had brought out the man she had started to believe was gone, the man she’d loved for so many suns and so many moons; years of her life having been spent growing alongside him, and she felt nothing short of complete satisfaction.

“Thanks for running away with me,” she’d whispered to him in the late hours of the night, head rested on his bare chest and his calloused hand running up and down over the delicate skin of her back.

“I’ll go wherever you want me to, babe,” was his promise, spoken softly into the dark with a tenderness reserved for her heart and ears only.

But all good things came to an end, and her life had brought truth to that statement. Things settled, routines came back and everything that lingered became visible. The issues that remained, the unspoken anger and unresolved conflicts rearing their ugly heads once again. She’d tried to pack up her life and her love and run away, but she was learning that she couldn’t hide for long.

I can lie to you, but the truth comes alive

Every time I die saying goodbye

Everything was a slow progression, the honeymoon phase wearing off slowly but surely; the conflicts creeping in where they weren’t welcomed. Again, everything was fine at first, they seemed to move as a team and it filled her heart with a warmth almost indescribable—they were so much of the same mind, in her eyes.

But then things drifted off course, the scales tipped in every which way except balanced—right where she wanted, and irritation grew to be the default when she saw his hands reach for the motorcycle keys. Betrayal became the default when she looked away from him and nodded her head, giving a flat and unconvincing ‘I’m okay,’ or ‘have fun.’ Hurt became the default when she bit her tongue until her mouth filled with the taste of crimson copper and her sobs shook her entire body, the sound of a roaring motorcycle engine filling the house.

She could lie, but he always knew. They had their problems, they battled through their conflicts, but they were still positive and negative forces magnetically pulling the other closer, two links in a chain stuck together for eternity.

Cause I don’t want to change

but I can’t stay this way

Love was a lot of things; sometimes she thought of it as something warm and familiar and safe, and other times she was convinced it was the chain that kept her around. She loved him, god damnit did she love James Barnes, but she knew that she was nearing her limit. Her heart could only take so much before she’d lose herself completely, and then she was done for beyond that point. Forever damaged; irreparable.

When Y/N thought about a life where she was on her own, miles upon miles away from the man she only wanted love and comfort from, her chest felt similar to how she imagined a sinkhole made the earth feel. The memories they shared, the laughs and the cries and the endless fun, it would forever haunt her if she were to leave—but one could argue that they already haunted her, already plagued her thoughts and dreams and every second she was breathing.

“What do you want?!” He’d screamed when she’d brought up her concerns, arms raised in the air and brows furrowed.

“Things can’t stay this way, James,” she’d stressed, fingers knotting her hair as they frantically ran through the strands.

And I don’t even mind staying chained, and thinking of you

Thinking of you

“What if I don’t wanna change?”

The breath had caught in her throat at his words, heart sinking to the pits of her stomach as her teary eyes bore into his, his figure blurry but radiating frustration.

“Then I’ll leave,” she threatened, the words burning her mouth as she spoke them. “I love you but I won’t let that stop me.”

But she always did—when he crawled into bed with slow movements and gentle hands, words soft, sweet, and oh so guilty. Apologies and false promises, admissions of love and sweet nothings, it mended her heart for the time being and she remained in the same place.

Is it up to me?

It’s always been up to you to find the peace we needed to

Strength had been dwindling, strength to fight for a relationship immersed in chaos. When things blew up, when the road grew rocky and dangerous and sometimes even lethal, it’d always been her to struggle putting the pieces back together. His words of affirmation and endless charm was the glue that only temporarily mended the cracks, but it was her will and her strive that got them there in the end.

Strength was dwindling, and she was starting to give up. “It’s always been up to me, James,” she’d told him, voice quiet, scratchy, and broken. “It’s always been me, but it’s on you now.”

He hadn’t responded, lips slightly parted as he took in the way that she didn’t even bother looking at him. He knew he’d been digging a grave, and he was starting to see that eventually he’d have to lie in it if he didn’t straighten up. The problems in their lives, in both him and her, they were deeply rooted and while she’d been trying to hack away at them, he’d only been watering them.

Is it said and done, is it carved in the stone?

How many days is it gonna take ‘til we get back home?

Most days, he did nothing but convince her that their fate was sealed—that their ultimate demise on the horizon and refused to move for anything. She’d tried and tried to tell herself that that wasn’t the truth, exalted all resources willing into existence the fact that they were meant to be—stuck together for the trials and tribulations that life undoubtedly bring them.

Things could change, and perhaps they would; nothing was said and done for them because only Y/N could write her story and only she could choose her ending.

But the harder she held on, the longer the path seemed to be. If what they had was a journey through struggle and strife, then the journey seemed years and years long—an endless battle to just make it through the days to even see the end of the road, and it more often than not left her wondering how long it would take before they would make it back home. How long would it be before they returned to where they started—sickeningly sweet, head over heels in love and willing to do anything under the sun for one another.

Cause I don’t want to change

But I can’t stay this way

If this was what growth was, then she wished someone had told her of how painful it was. It felt like scratchy throats from screaming matches, aching chests from nights spent clawing away at the burning skin, and so many more things that weren’t even worth listing. The point of it was that she was finally reaching the point where the door was opening, creaking slowly and revealing the outside world where she could escape.

Y/N didn’t want to escape, but she was starting to see that maybe it was what she needed to do. At one point she had loved her life because he had made the sun shine brighter every day and the stars twinkle a little more each night, and while she longed for that version of James he was not anywhere in sight—and hadn’t been for a long time.

She knew she couldn’t stay this way, she knew it and felt like a complete idiot every time she saw her own reflection, but, much like the aforementioned growth, this change was just as painful. And pain was something she’d felt enough of.

And I don’t even mind staying chained, and thinking of you

Thinking of you

The doors had all been slammed, every single one had the unfortunate fate of being in the path of an angry James, and a few of them hadn’t survived and refused to close completely.

“Why do you want to leave so bad, huh? If you don’t wanna be here then just fucking leave!” The emotional torment was clear as day in his voice as he screamed to the top of his lungs, and it tore her heart to shreds.

“You know damn well why!” She’d shouted back, face beet red as her chest violently heaved. “I don’t fucking deserve this, Buck, and I’m sick and tired of it!” Her nerves buzzed under the surface of her skin and she could feel her pulse in her face, and the man before her only stared back with dark eyes.

“You won’t change,” she’d sobbed. “You won’t and you know it, and if you loved me you would.”

“Y/N—” he’d started, taking a step forward but she’d held her hands out, pushing herself against the wall to get further away.

“No.” Her words were shaky yet void of fear; actually, James could hear the grit that she’d developed after dealing with his shit for so long and he felt his chest cave in slightly. “You stay there and you listen to me.”

Will you wake me up? Will you shake me up?

Cause I’m losing my way in the game

The cracks and creases on her heart deepened greatly, and when they did so she felt every bit of it. The way his eyes bore into hers, as if he was searching her soul like he’d done so many times before, made her look away—for this time she couldn’t trust him to search with good intentions.

“I’ve tried for a long time to make this work, and you can’t tell me you don’t see it. You’re not stupid, James; don’t pretend to be.” She’d shook her head with her last statement, hair going every which way and tears almost filled his eyes because she was right. “But it wont work if something doesn’t give and I’ve given enough!”

He nodded lamely, because that’s all he could think to do. He knew she didn’t want his words, they didn’t matter right now.

“Are you even serious about this? About us? You know this isn’t a joke, this is MY life! It goes way beyond just you and your issues and your anger,” her arms waved around in the air. “James, I’m losing myself in this and you’re supposed to save me!”

The tears did fill his eyes then, stinging the blue orbs and causing him to blink rapidly. He felt like shit, and every bone in his body ached with guilt.

Even at our best, my love

Neither one of us was ever really good enough

The realization that some things truly weren’t meant to be, that some people really weren’t meant to be together, was a tough pill to swallow. Y/N felt herself choke on it multiple times throughout the years, but it was finally down and done with. She couldn’t say if they were never meant to meet, or just never meant to stay together, but either way she knew that they were a recipe for disaster.

Her chemicals and his mixed together didn’t make the love that lasted a lifetime, the kind that made it through the dark and the light of the rocky road through life. They made poison, a stunning and paralyzing formula of toxic traits and deep rooted issues. They weren’t a match; even at their best they were never compatible—just too blind and in love to see it.

“I don’t know why I can’t change, and I will always stay this way,” she sang softly, her heartbreak shining through under the bright lights of the stage in a bar miles and miles away from the man she loved. The band behind her kept up well, putting the raw emotion behind every beat and note that this song required, and for that she was grateful. It was a slight break in the constant dull that she felt, a break that she was beginning to believe she wouldn’t see in her lifetime.

“And I don’t even mind staying chained,” the drawl in her voice was nothing short of old soul and broken dreams, and it wouldn’t have fit in anywhere other than the rundown bar filled with folks of a similar kind. She’d worn heartache daily long before she walked away from that house, but now it never seemed to wipe off. It was never ending, and so was the thought of him. She truly was chained to him, and sometimes in the middle of tear filled nights she told herself that he was still chained to her as well. “And thinking of you.”

Thinking of you, thinking of you, thinking of you.

➥ send as ask to be added to the bucky tag list!

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tojisveryown · 3 years

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AFTER HEARING ABT KOKO’S Y/N EXPERIENCE I WANNA KNOW IF YALL HAD ANY OF THE SORT

if you don’t here’s mine,, kinda???

Okay so around 2-3 ish years ago I went on this church retreat for my confirmation class and we stayed in cabins for the whole weekend.

During that weekend we made one of those bags with our names on them and stuck them to a wall, basically they were there so that people can leave anonymous letters, and I made sure to put mine at the very top so no one would see it.

At the end of the weekend when we were about to leave we were able to get them and on the ride home i looked through them and there was a number in there and a note saying “ur cute” or something along the lines of that. and they were clearly written by the same person bc of the handwriting and it was genuinely so neat that i thought a girl had written it.

and so i texted the number thinking it was someone from my cabin right? and i said something like “hey is this someone from cabin 16?” and they didn’t reply until i got home

and while i was waiting for my dad to pick me up one of my friends had texted me saying

“hey elsy you know — right?”

and i said “yeah isn’t he in the same confirmation class as me?”

and basically he was a mutual friend of ours and set the both of us up.

and that number was the guy out mutual friend was talking about AND SO WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS ABOUT TO TEXT HIM CORRECTING MYSELF AND HE GOES

“no haha it’s — :)”

and then i was just like ??? how am i supposed to respond to that yk? cause at first i wasn’t interested, because i thought he was weird. for example, during the retreat i would always space out and look everywhere and EVERY DAMN TIME i looked near his direction his eyes were ALWAYS on me and we always made awkward eye contact and he would always break it because #ALPHAFEMALE🔥‼️ anyways yeah and i’d always notice that he’d be near me when we were in lines to get like food or if we were on a break or something.

later me and him start talking more and more and we became really good friends in the span of a week. we had another class coming up but he told me he couldn’t go because he was going to the philippines for a wedding right? and throughout the time he was in the philippines me and him stayed up at night and woke up early JUST to call and text each other and at this point i was like “oh fuck???” because I KNEW i started to like him.

Basically me and him had started to talk, and it didn’t last very long because i decided to cut him off. I got so tired of him constantly going to his friends when something was wrong and i didn’t wanna feel like i was talking to someone that needed to be babied.

BUT he during the time he did talk he had told me that on the retreat he always kept an eye out for me and that he’d always constantly tell his friends “she’s so cute” or something. i remember i wore a bright pink camo sweater (it was a pink ripndip camo zip up I SWEAR IT DOESNT LOOK UGLY IRL LMAO) so it was fairly easy to find me and during the very last day of the retreat we were assigned to group up with another group and our group leaders chose each over since they were dating which caused me and him to be in the same group and his friend had told him “this is it. this is your chance” and i remember hiding from the rest of the group because we had to sing and although filipino’s are supposed to be good at singing, i am the exception. so i hid in the back. while we were talking, he’d constantly post me on his story both sc and instagram and he had me as his profile picture and he’d ALWAYS send me goodmorning and goodnight texts, kinda cute.

BUT THEN when we stopped talking this OTHER GUY from the retreat had told me he liked me

for context: me and a bunch of the people i became close and or friends with made a group chat on instagram and he was in it

so then i didn’t think anything of it because at the time he hadn’t told me so we became really good friends and we still are to this day but during the time he liked me??? not so much

i always had a feeling that he did but i never thought anything of it until he called me his “golden girl” and he’d always tell me not to go back to — and obviously i listened for the sake of myself.

and it always seemed like he was constantly trying to one up — despite me and him not talking anymore??

i also vividly remember that me and him would stay up u til sunrise on the phone but there wasn’t much talking it was honestly just us falling in and out of sleep

i decided to cut him off too LMAO

only because i didn’t want to lead him on, we ended up making up after like 10 months of ghosting him and we’re okay now

but the guy i did talk to has tried to contact me but i’ve always turned him down because there was no chance that i would get caught in that again.

he believes it was right person wrong time, however i knew it was wrong person right time.

#❝elsy's nonsense❞

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dickspeightjrs · 4 years

Text

Show Me How Big Your Brave Is (au / 4.8k words)

Prompt 17 from my ‘30 Destiel Prompts’ for @eccentriccas

ao3 link

It stared at Dean from the fridge, tacked up by a Stanford University magnet gifted to Dean by his brother, Sam.

He’d known his high school reunion was coming up at some point but seeing it embossed in gold lettering created a pit in his stomach.

High school wasn’t the best time for Dean for a few reasons. First, his dad had died in freshman year, which Dean had had mixed feelings about if he was honest. He was mostly concerned about his mother. She didn’t take it well. And then there was-

Dean was torn from his stare down with the invitation by the door bell. He trudged over to answer it. His best friend, Charlie, came bounding in with all the energy of a labrador puppy.

“Hey, friend!” She exclaimed, pulling Dean into a tight hug. “Are you ready for our movie night?”

Dean let himself be infected with Charlie’s excited energy. “Of course, dude! Give me superheroes in spandex already.” He laughed.

“You go set up the first movie and I’ll put the beers in the fridge, okay?” Charlie instructed.

“Sounds good, Bradbury.”

Dean lucked out when he’d met Charlie. They’d been assigned as roommates in college. There had been a mix up with the room allocations. Dean had been a little confused when he’d turned from his boxes to find a tiny red-head standing in the doorway of his dorm.

Charlie had taken a step into the room, let her backpack fall to the floor, and said, “Don’t even think about trying anything. I’m gay as the day is long and I’m not afraid to punch a guy back into his place.” Dean hadn’t known how to reply so he’d just nodded and silently gone back to unpacking his things.

It was when Charlie had put up a Star Wars poster above her bed that Dean knew he was about to make a best friend.

“Ooh what’s this?” Charlie’s voice came from the kitchen.

Crap. Charlie had probably found the invite. He should have hidden it when he had the chance. He sighed and moved into the kitchen.

Charlie had an extremely mischievous grin on her face, and that was saying something for her.

“When were you going to tell me about this?” Charlie asked.

“Urm, never?” Dean mumbled, reaching to snatch the paper out of Charlie’s hand.

But Charlie was too quick and dodged Dean’s grasp.

“Come on Dean. You have to go!” Charlie implored. “It’ll be fun!”

Dean gave his friend an unimpressed look. “Charlie you know how much I hated high school.”

Charlie’s face softened. “I know, it sucks that you got outed before you were ready. No one deserves that. But, it’s been ten years. Things have changed.”

“You don’t know the people I went to high school with.” Dean scoffed.

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Stop being dramatic, you nerd.”

“Dramatic or not, I ain’t going.” Dean plucked the invite out of Charlie’s hand and tore it in two.

Charlie stuck her tongue out at him. “Party pooper.”

* * *

A few hours later, Dean and Charlie were deep into their annual ‘NerdFest’ movie night.

“I swear, if I didn’t bat for the best team, I’d be so down for a bit of Black Wing.” Charlie mumbled around a mouth full of popcorn.

Dean couldn’t help but nod in agreement. Aside from Captain America (because, hello Chris Evans!), Black Wing was Dean’s favourite superhero. But he’d only appeared in ensemble movies. There had been rumours of him getting his own solo movie after fans online had campaigned for it but nothing ever seemed to come of it. The guy who played him seemed to just drop off the map.

Shame, Dean thought as he watched Black Wing kick ass on-screen, that dude was hot!

“Take someone like that to your high school reunion and it would make those dicks’ jaws drop.”

“Drop it, Charlie.” Dean groaned, glaring at the red-head.

“Just saying. Get a hot date and you’ll win the game of life in their eyes.” Charlie raised her hands in defence.

“Noted. Let’s move on.”

“Fine.” Charlie pouted.

Dean nodded and turned back to watch the screen, content that the subject had been dropped.

“OH MY GOD!”

Dean jumped out of his skin, sending popcorn flying through the air. “What the hell, Bradbury?” He exclaimed.

Charlie started excitedly slapping Dean on the arm. “I have the best idea.” She practically squealed. “Put an ad up on Craigslist for a hot date.”

Dean’s eyes went wide. “No fucking way. Never happening. Now stop.”

“But-”

“No!”

Charlie sulked for the next half an hour, all through the iconic fight scene with Black Wing and his fellow team of superheroes. She stopped eventually after Dean offered her a piece of pie as a peace offering.

* * *

After a couple more movies, Charlie had to leave. Apparently, being an adult meant that you can’t just spend all night watching with your best friend anymore - who knew? So with a ‘see ya later bitch’, Charlie was gone.

Dean felt the aches from being sat on the couch for hours and he was looking forward to laying out on his bed for a good night’s sleep.

He sighed to himself and tidied up the last remains of the movie snacks. He was ready for sleep but he had to work early in the morning and he wouldn’t have time to clean up before he left.

Shuffling into the kitchen to put the rubbish in the trash, Dean spotted his reunion invite where he left it on the counter. Except, it wasn’t ripped in two like he’d left it. It had ‘mysteriously’ been taped back together. He dragged a tired hand down his face in exasperation. Charlie just didn’t know when to quit. She was the bratty little sister he never wanted.

He plonked himself down on the chair at the counter and stared at the white paper for a few moments.

Fuck it!

Charlie was right (though he’d never admit it to her face). He was determined to prove to the assholes he went to school with that the shit they threw at him didn’t stick. It didn’t matter that Dean didn’t really believe it to be the truth,’ fake it til ya make it’ as they say.

Before he could chicken out, Dean had Craigslist opened up on his phone. Thinking back to Charlie’s suggestion earlier, Dean decided against asking specifically for a ‘hot’ guy. He dreaded to think what kind of douchebags that would answer the ad proclaiming themselves to be an adonis.

And, despite knowing since he was young that he was bisexual, he decided to aim the ad towards guys. His few relationships with women had never worked out. Even though this was all going to be fake, Dean would like to be able to at least get on with the person.

In the end, he decided on a short and simple ad:

‘Hi, I’m Dean (28M) looking for a guy to take as my date to my stupid high school reunion next Saturday. Message if interested (no weirdos)’

He posted the ad and then spotted the time at the top of the screen.

Midnight. Shit.

He closed the website and dashed upstairs as fast as his tired legs could carry him.

* * *

The next morning, Dean got woken up by the feel of sunlight shining on his face. He must have forgotten to shut the curtains before he passed out last night.

His blood ran cold when he realised that the sun shining on his face meant only one thing. He was late for work. He scrambled around looking for his phone to check the time but it was nowhere to be found.

Suddenly, it came to him. He must have left his phone on the counter in the kitchen, meaning he didn’t hear his alarms going off.

He cursed himself and sped to get ready. Quickly sniffing a shirt to check it was okay to wear, he got dressed and raced downstairs. Sure enough, his phone was sat on the table where he'd sat the night before.

When he picked it up he found that it had also run out of battery overnight.

Great. As if this day couldn’t get any worse.

Forgetting all else on his mind, Dean grabbed his phone and dash out of the front door.

* * *

The ad remained forgotten until a few days later.

Dean was just about to sit down and relax with a beer when his phone lit up with a notification. He put his beer down on a coaster to check it out.

It was a message from Craigslist telling him someone has been trying to contact him about his ad.

Dean’s eyes went wide. He’d completely forgotten about the ad for a date after being late for work and being chewed out by his boss. He couldn't believe someone had actually responded. He looked at the date for the first message. This guy had contacted him like an hour after he’d posted the ad.

He opened the message.

(01:28) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: Hello. I saw your ad for a date to your reunion. It says I’m only 10 miles from your location. I’m interested in helping you out. Are you still in need of assistance?

(10:11) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: I assume, as you haven’t replied, that you’ve decided to go with someone else for your date.

(11:20) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: On second thought, this ad was probably a joke. Please ignore my messages.

Wow. This dude talked funny. And reading that last message, Dean felt a little sorry for the guy too. He seemed lonely. But beggars can’t be choosers, so Dean prepared to reply.

As he went to type, he noticed the guy’s username and smiled to himself.

(19:37) impala67 says: don’t worry dude! the position as my date is still open. you’re the only one who has responded.

PS. I like your username. you a Black Wing fan too?

The reply was almost immediate.

(19:41) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: Okay. What information do you need from me?

PS. You could say so.

‘You could say so’? Was this guy purposefully trying to be mysterious? Either way, Dean was intrigued.

(19:45) impala67 says: idk dude, just the basics I guess. how old u are, what u look like

(19:53) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: I’m 30 years old. I have blue eyes and dark hair. I’m 6 feet tall. Anything else?

Dean hummed to himself. The guy sounded pretty average, which was okay with him.

(19:55) impala67 says: nah, that’s awesome dude. anything you want to know?

(19:58) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: I suppose it would be nice to know what you look like too. Also, if you don’t mind me prying, I wondered why you need to have a date for a school reunion. And why have you turned to Craigslist to find it?

Dean was set aback by this guy’s forwardness. But, he did have a right to know what he was getting into Dean supposed.

(20:05) impala67 says: you already know I’m 28. I have green eyes. sort of light brown hair and i’m around 6’2”. as for the other shit. high school was a shit show. I’ve always been a bit nerdy i guess. people didn’t like it. then I realised I’m bi (hope that’s not a deal break btw). tried asking this guy out senior year. got outed to the whole school. got a lot of shit for it.

(20:11) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: I’m sorry to hear that happened to you. No one deserves that. Why do you want to go back? No one would blame you for leaving and never going back. (Again, if you don’t mind me asking.)

Dean blinked at the screen. His forgotten beer was getting warm but he was fascinated by this guy. He seemed genuine and Dean felt himself wanting to share the darkest parts of himself with a complete stranger. He sighed and typed.

(20:20) impala67 says: I guess I want to prove to those assholes that the things they said didn’t affect my life. even tho that’s not always the truth. I still struggle to accept myself i guess.

Dean chewed his lip, debating whether to include that last line or not. But, hey, he was asking this dude to be his date, the least he could do was be honest with him. He pressed send.

Blue Eyes didn’t reply instantly this time and it made Dean nervous. He wished he could take back the last bit of the message.

After a few anxious moments, Blue Eyes still hadn’t replied so Dean gave up, figuring he’d scared the guy away. He cursed himself and moved to put his Doctor Sexy DVDs into the player. He’d never admit it to anyone, not even Charlie, but Doctor Sexy was his comfort show. It provided him with a much needed distraction.

A couple hours later, Dean was beginning to doze. The extra few beers he’d had cushioned him into a deep sleep.

When he woke, surrounded by darkness with only the DVD menu playing to no one lighting the room, Dean rubbed his face tiredly and went to check his phone for the time.

Instead of looking at the clock, Dean’s eyes were distracted by the Craigslist notification. Blue Eyes had messaged him back! Feeling a little foolish that he’d reacted too quickly before, Dean opened the message.

(23:23) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: You’re incredibly brave, Dean. Not many people would be able to do what you’re doing.

Dean blushed in the darkness. Why were a random internet dude’s words affecting him so much? He didn’t really know what to say in response so he just sent a quick ‘thank you, dude.’

* * *

Over the next few days leading up to the reunion, Dean carried on messaging Blue Eyes just to get to know him a little more. Turns out the dude is dorky as hell. And, despite the original impression he gave with the Black Wing username, the guy didn’t understand any of Dean’s other references.

It had occurred to him after they’d been messaging for a while that Dean still didn’t know his name.

When he confronted Blue Eyes about it, the man had taken a while to respond again and answered only with ‘I’d rather not disclose my full name at this time. But, you can call me C.’

Dean had been a little skeptical of the guy’s response at first. But then, he figured the worst case scenario was the guy turned out to be a catfish and Dean would just blow off the reunion altogether and go get drunk. And he couldn’t blame the guy for not wanting to give out personal details over Craigslist.

The day before the reunion, they agreed it was probably best to meet somewhere a couple hours before so they had time to get to know each other in person and iron out the final details they’d need to know about each other.

* * *

Dean sat in the coffee shop they’d agreed to meet at (public and easy to escape if things went south). He tried to stop his leg from trembling under the table.

He was nervous for a couple of reasons. The obvious: this guy could turn out to be a creepy old dude stalking men on the internet. And the less obvious but more surprising to Dean: he actually wanted this to go well. Without even knowing what he looked like, Dean had found himself beginning to like the guy. Even if he wasn’t attracted to him when he finally saw Blue Eyes, Dean would be cool with being friends with him.

His eyes were following the patterns in the wood on the table top when a deep voice came from above him.

“Dean?” It asked, with nervous uncertainty.

Dean swallowed and looked up to the source of the voice and-

Holy shit!

It was him! It was the Black Wing!

What was the guy’s name? Cas- something? Castile? Casteel? Castiel! That was it!

Holy fucking shit! This couldn’t be happening.

Dean realised he’d been staring wide-eyed during his internal freak out and Blue Eyes, Castiel, was stood looking as nervous as Dean had felt before the surprise adrenaline took over his body.

“Sorry, dude. Please sit down.” Dean gestured to the chair opposite him. He wiped his hands on his jeans, nerves starting to take over once again.

Neither man spoke for a few moments.

“So I-” Castiel began.

“I don’t-” Dean spoke too.

Both men chuckled. “You go,” Dean told Castiel.

Castiel smiled softly, “I suppose, from your reaction, you know who I am.”

Dean blushed. “Yeah. For what it’s worth, I’m a big fan.” He scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

Now Castiel blushed, “Thank you, Dean.” His expression turned serious. “I hope you understand now why I didn’t give you my full name while we spoke online.”

“Yeah, of course, dude. Don’t want any crazies hunting you down.” Dean chuckled.

Castiel chuckled with him. “Yes, something like that.”

“So, um, before we get into the details for later, I was wondering if I could ask you a question?”

“Of course, Dean. You were honest with me, it’s only fair I return the favour.” Castiel smiled.

“It’s only because I watched one of your movies the other night with my best friend, Charlie-” who was totally gonna freak out when Dean told her about this “-but wasn’t there meant to be a solo Black Wing movie? Everyone in the fandom was talking about it and then suddenly you seemed to disappear. I guess, I’m just wondering why you changed your mind?” Dean asked, nervously. He was waiting for Castiel to tell him to go fuck himself (though Dean knew that Castiel wasn’t really that kinda guy).

Castiel cleared his throat and met Dean’s eyes. “We were just about to go into production for the solo movie when my brother and his wife were killed in a head-on collision with a truck.”

Dean’s mouth dropped open. But, he could sense Castiel hadn’t finished so he stayed quiet.

“The only blessing was that it was instant, so they didn’t suffer. That, and luckily their daughter, Claire, was at the babysitter’s at the time.” Castiel smiled, melancholy whispers gracing his features.

Dean knew he barely knew the guy but he could sense when someone needed comfort so he reached across the table to place a soft touch on Castiel’s hand.

“I took Claire into my care. And that ended my career as I knew it.” Castiel shrugged. “I was deeply disappointed to have to leave the movie, but Claire came first. And I didn’t want her to grow up in the spotlight, with people using her parents’ tragic death as a way to sell magazines. So I left the industry. That was three years ago and I haven’t looked back. Claire is five now and she’s all I could ever want.”

Dean was awestruck. “Wow.” He breathed. “I can’t believe it.”

“What?” Castiel asked, head tilting in confusion. (If the situation wasn’t so serious, Dean would have struggled not to comment on how adorable he looked.)

“Dude.” Dean choked. “You called me brave for wanting to face a coupla high school assholes. But you - you gave up your entire career to give the best life to your niece.” He shook his head in disbelief. “You’re amazing.”

Castiel blushed again (and Dean found he was slowly falling in love with that look on Castiel’s face). “I don’t know that I’m amazing, I just want a normal life for Claire and I.” He shrugged.

“A normal life, huh?” Dean asked. “Well, I can try and help with that.” He lifted his hand from where it had been placed on Castiel’s and held it in the air between them. “I’m Dean Winchester. I’m twenty eight. A bit of a nerd and in need of a date this evening.”

Castiel huffed a laugh and placed his hand in Dean’s, shaking it. “I’m Castiel Novak. I’m thirty. Uncle to a beautiful niece and I would be honoured if you’d let me be your date for this evening.”

Dean’s face broke into a smile, which turned into a laugh that caused a smile to spread across Castiel’s cheeks.

They let their hands settle naturally on top of the table.

Now, with their barriers down, they began making plans and ideas for that evening. Though, if Dean were being honest, it felt like he’d known Castiel forever already.

Eventually, after what felt like hours of talking, Castiel got up to finally get himself a coffee. It wasn’t until Castiel’s hand left his that Dean realised they’d been holding onto each other the whole time.

* * *

Dean and Castiel ended up talking for so long in that coffee shop that they were late for the reunion. The party was in full swing when they arrived.

Just before they entered the hall, Dean stopped in his tracks.

“What’s wrong, Dean?” Castiel asked, worry etched into his features.

“Are you sure about this, man? There’s a chance someone in there could recognise you or something. It’s not worth ruining your life plan over just for me to say ‘fuck you’ to a couple of dicks.” Dean stressed.

Castiel reached to take Dean’s hand in his. “Some things are worth a little risk.” He whispered and walked with Dean through the hall doors.

It seemed Dean had had nothing to worry about in the end. They’d spoken to a few people who had seemed genuinely interested in that Dean had been up to since graduation. And they barely batted an eye when he’d introduced Castiel as his boyfriend. (He’d meant to just call him his date but clearly his mouth had had other ideas.) Castiel himself had just placed a soft hand around Dean’s waist - stopping Dean from an internal panic.

It was all going so well and Dean was starting to think Charlie had been right (again, damn her!). Maybe everyone had just grown up and moved on.

Once they’d finished a conversation with the guy Dean sat next to in English class senior year, Castiel went to the bar to get them some drinks, whispering in Dean’s ear that he’d be back in a moment. Dean was a little sad Castiel hadn’t gone a bit further and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Dean Winchester.” The voice of Bela Talbot came from behind him. Dean turned with a scowl on his face.

“Hello, Bela.” He said through gritted teeth. She’d been one of the main people instrumental in his forced coming out.

“Goodness me, Dean. If I’d known how pretty you’d turn out, maybe high school could have gone a lot differently.” She practically purred, running a perfectly manicured finger along Dean’s cheek bone. “But, hey, there’s still time now, I could be the one to knock you straight again.”

Dean was frozen to the spot. He was back to being a scared kid, dealing with the loss of a parent and being taunted daily for his sexuality. He knew he shouldn’t have done this. He wasn’t brave. He was pathetic. He couldn’t even stand up to a school bully ten years later.

“Excuse me.” Castiel appeared suddenly at Dean’s side. “What did you say to him?” The look on his face was nothing short of murderous.

“I’m just getting reacquainted with an old friend.” Bela answered, sickly sweet. “And who are you?”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed. “I’m Dean’s boyfriend and I don’t appreciate the way you’re speaking to him.”

Dean’s eyes went wide. Earlier it had been a slip when he’d called Castiel his boyfriend but now Castiel was purposefully saying it? Dean didn’t dare to hope.

Bela laughed, causing Castiel to glare even harder (honestly, if looks could kill, she’d be in hell). “Ah! So he’s definitely still gay then.” She said, lip curling with distaste.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s bisexual, not gay. I’d tell you to educate yourself, but clearly, after ten years you’re still the same bitch you’ll always be.”

Bela looked taken aback, like no one had ever spoken to her like that before.

Castiel didn’t wait for her response. Instead, he grabbed Dean’s hand and stormed out of the building.

It wasn’t until the cool evening air hit his face, that Dean finally snapped back to himself. They’d ended up in the parking lot, stood next to Dean’s car.

“Cas..” Dean breathed.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Castiel said, begging for forgiveness. “I just couldn’t stand the way she was speaking to you.”

“Cas-” Dean spoke.

“She was just so rude a-and small-minded. I hated it.”

“Cas!” Dean raised his voice. Castiel snapped his jaw shut. “It’s okay. Thank you for sticking up for me.” Dean stepped closer to Castiel, playing with the lapel on Castiel’s suit jacket.

Castiel looked into Dean’s eyes but Dean couldn’t hold his gaze. “I’m just embarrassed that I froze up. After all of this, I failed at standing up for myself. I’m pathetic.”

Castiel placed his hands on Dean’s cheeks, forcing Dean to look at him. Green eyes finally met blue. “Dean, listen to me. It was incredibly brave to walk into that room tonight. You are the bravest person I’ve ever met.” He said earnestly.

Dean couldn’t hold it in anymore. He hoped he wasn’t about to ruin this before it even started. But, as a wise man told him recently: some things are worth a little risk.

Wasting no more time, Dean pulled Castiel into a deep kiss.

Once Castiel was on board, he pushed Dean up against the car behind them.

After a few heated moments, of what can only be described as heavy making out, Dean growled at Castiel to get into the car before they got arrested for public indecency.

They somehow made it back to Dean’s house but their clothes only managed to stay on long enough to get through the front door. Dean directed them to his room and threw Castiel down on the bed.

He took in the sight of the beautiful man laid out under him before kissing up Castiel’s chest and took over his mouth again. The only words said between them were muttered assurances that they were on the same page. Dean could never have dreamed this is how this night would end but he certainly wouldn’t change a thing.

* * *

The next morning, Dean and Castiel laid in each other’s arms, content to be together in the quiet.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Dean. “What about your niece?” He worried. “Don’t you need to get back to her?” He sat up frantically.

“Dean, Dean, don’t worry.” Castiel raised his hands to calm the other man. “I texted my babysitter yesterday at the coffee shop asking her to stay with Claire for the night.”

Dean relaxed into the bed, smirking a little. “So you knew how the night would end even before we got to the reunion.”

Castiel blushed. “I wouldn’t say I knew. But I did hope.”

Dean smiled, pulling Castiel closer to place a tender kiss on the side of his head. “I hoped for it too.” He whispered.

They settled into silence again, warm in each other’s company.

A short while passed before either of them spoke again.

“Thank you, Dean.” Castiel murmured, breaking the quiet.

“For what?” Dean frowned.

“For thinking of Claire.”

“Well, she’s important to you. She’s your whole world.” Dean shrugged.

“Maybe my world could get a little bigger now.” Castiel suggested, smiling nervously up at Dean.”

“Yeah, I think it could.”

* * *

Later, as they dug into a couple of burgers Dean threw together, another thought crossed Dean’s mind.

“Cas?”

“Hmm?” Castiel hummed around the burger in his mouth.

“Why were you looking through Craigslist ads in the first place?”

Castiel swallowed and chuckled to himself. “Sometimes I look through to find funny ads people put up.”

Dean was beginning to get a little offended when Castiel reached across the table to hold his hand.

“But, the night that I saw your ad, I had just put Claire to bed and I was feeling lonely. I took a risk. And I think it worked.” Castiel smiled shyly.

“Hell yeah, it did!” Dean grinned from ear to ear.

* * *

Charlie’s phone vibrated next to her. She paused the video game she was playing to pick it up. Seeing it was a text from Dean, she opened it immediately.

On her screen was a selfie of Dean with another dark haired dude captioned:

‘I should take your advice more often Bradbury.’

Her eyes turned to saucers and she looked at the image again more closely. She frowned slightly, looking at the man whose cheek Dean was kissing.

Wait- That totally looked like-

Her phone dinged with a new message from Dean.

‘And yes, it’s exactly who you think it is.’

HOLY FRIGGIN SHIT!

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it Taylor!

If you liked what you saw, REBLOG! and consider reserving a prompt from my ‘30 Destiel Prompts’ challenge, or just send me your own prompt you’d like me to fill!

TAGS: @eccentriccas @starrynightdeancas @credentiast @imbiowaresbitch @starclaire @cockleslovesdestiel @bend-me-shape-me @destielfactory @dea-stiel @wendeano @wingsandimpalas @aggressivedean @flowersforcas @chill-legilimens @pancakesofthelord @saltnhalo @caslikescoffeeandfreckles @assbuttboyfriends @jhoomwrites @breathingdestiel @simplymisha @thekingslover @aelysianmuse

(once again tagging my faves, let me you if you’d like to be removed from future fics - or added if you’re not already there!)

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hopelikethemoon · 4 years

Text

Celebration (Javier x Reader) {MTMF} [smut]

Title: Celebration Rating: Explicit Length: 3700 Warnings: Smut (Pegging, toys, overstimulation, sex, female recieving oral) Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set New Year’s Eve 1998. I’ll post Reader’s outfit after I post the article. Summary: They make up for lost time.

@grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @beccaplaying @rogrsnbarnes@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex@ham4arrow@plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut @snivellusim @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts@synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @u-wakatoshii @space-floozy@cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @frietiemeloen@arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn@cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl @yabby-girl @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato@coredrive @pascalesque@theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar @sabinemorans @buckstaposition @holkaskrosnou@yespolkadotkitty @fleetwoodmactshirt @seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie @jaime1110@katlikeme

“Are you sure you don’t mind watching the girls tonight? Don’t you want to go celebrate?” You questioned as you sat a mug of coffee down on the table in front of Monica, before circling around to sit across from her.

“If today was the weekend, it would be a different answer,” She told you as she blew on her coffee before taking a sip. “But she’s got work tomorrow. We’re probably gonna go to Disney for the weekend.”

“Oh?”

Monica nodded, “Her aunt’s got a timeshare in Orlando and they said we could use it.”

“Epcot was fun if you like to drink,” You told her, “We haven’t been back since Josie was little.”

“Did she have fun?”

“Javier and I went alone,” You explained as you sipped your coffee. “It was hot, we both had different ideas for the trip…” You laughed quietly, “But Sofía was made, so it worked out in the end.”

Monica made a face, “TMI.”

You gave her a look, “Oh, I’m sorry. Sofía just appeared one day. No idea how she came to be.”

“Didn’t you find her under a rock?”

“Actually, she was chilling with the alligators.” You snapped your fingers, “She does like to bite.”

She laughed, “It would make a lot of sense.”

“What are your plans?”

“Still undecided,” You confessed with a shrug. “But I think we might go down to the bar for a little revelry. With everything that’s been going on the past few months, we never got to enjoy that lingerie set you unwillingly witnessed.”

Monica covered her face, “I am still trying to forget.”

You laughed with a grin, “Sorry. You should just be thankful you didn’t walk in about thirty minutes later.”

“I can’t believe you played hookie! That both of you did.” She took another sip of coffee, “I am scarred for life.”

“I’m just saying — it could’ve been so much worse.”

“I like living in the world where you and Javier just bake cookies and knit or something.” She scrunched up her nose. “It was bad enough when I caught you at school before I knew you.”

You made a face. “Sorry.”

“I mean, more power to you,” Monica laughed. “But there wasn’t enough brain bleach.” She stuck out her tongue. “I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.”

“I don’t know who was more traumatized, you or Javier. Because nothing fun happened after that.” You pressed your tongue against the inside of your cheek. “For all of his very public history in Colombia, it's pretty easy to make him blush like a virgin.”

“He’s so bashful!” Monica leaned against the table. “He was so clearly uncomfortable after dinner that night.”

“It’s very endearing.” You admitted with a smile. “He can be an enigma.”

“I’ve noticed.” She nodded. “Before break, one of the students in class actually brought up the article and he looked like he wanted to die.”

“Ah, yes. He mentioned that,” You toyed with a lock of hair as you sank back in your seat. “I heard they seemed rather shocked that I’ve stayed in contact with Elena.”

Monica tilted her head, “I mean, I was a little shocked too. But if they knew you, it would make sense.”

You pursued your lips, “I learned very early on that it was better to keep certain connections because they could be useful in the future.”

“Except for toxic people.” She pointed out.

“Exactly.”

——

Javier’s hands skimmed over your velvet-covered hips as you moved to the music with him, your bodies pressed close together.

The bar was packed with patrons drinking and dancing to ring in the New Year. You were both buzzed, but not drunk because you had plans for when you got home that would not work if you were both drunk.

You curled your fingers around the back of his neck, leaning in to kiss his lips as his hands slid under your leather jacket.

“Tonight’s a very important night.” You told him, as you pressed kisses along his jaw and let your lips linger by his ear.

“And why’s that?” He questioned, giving your waist a squeeze as his hands wandered.

“Tonight’s our first New Years as a married couple.” You reminded him with a grin as you pulled back, brushing your fingers through his hair where it fell against his forehead.

A lazy grin spread over his lips and he cupped your cheek and leaned in to kiss you, “So many firsts with you.” He murmured, brushing his nose against yours.

You slid your arms over his shoulders, “Seven New Years with you.”

Javier ran his hands over the small of your back, keeping you pressed close to him, “I’m a lucky man.”

“You’re going to get even luckier when we get home.” You taunted, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Only took three months.”

“We’ve been busy,” He reminded you, brushing his knuckles against your cheek. “I’ve been looking forward to it, baby.”

You kissed him again, “Call a cab and I’ll close out our tab.” You told him, running your hand down the center of his chest.

It took longer than you wanted it to, to close out your tab at the bar, but atleast by the time you were done the cab had arrived.

Javier kept his hand curled around your upper thigh the entire ride home, one finger sliding over the bare skin just above the lacy top of stockings.

After the last disastrous attempt on the sofa, you both bypassed the family room and went straight back to your bedroom.

He followed you into the closet when you went to retrieve the box of toys crowding close to you. “You have been driving me crazy all night, baby.” Javier drawled out as he snaked his arm around your waist.

You leaned back against him, forgetting the box entirely as he dragged the fabric of your dress up your thighs. He traced his fingers along the straps of the garters, up to the lacy edge of the lingerie.

“I enjoyed dancing with you,” You told him, reaching behind you to curl your fingers around the back of his neck as you slowly pressed your ass back against his noticeably hard cock. “And I think you liked it too.”

He pushed the straps of your velvet dress off, before helping you shimmy it down your hips and discard on the floor.

Javier’s teeth scraped over your bare shoulder, his tongue sweeping out over the marks he left as he ran one hand up along your inner thigh to cup your cunt through the lace. “Fuck, you’re soaked, baby.” He whispered, dragging his fingers over your sensitive flesh.

He sought out your clit, circling his fingertip over the tender bundle of nerves. Your hips rocked back against him and you squirmed in his vice-like hold. “Javier.”

“I want you to open the box for me,” Javier said lowly, his finger stroking you more rapidly then. “That’s it. Good girl.” He practically purred as he watched you open the box.

Javier released his hold on your waist, reaching into the box to pull out the little remote control vibrator you’d purchased over the summer. “I want you to enjoy this too.” He told you, catching your earlobe between his teeth.

“Fucking you is very enjoyable.” You assured him as you turned your head to look back at him. “Don’t tease.”

Javier pressed a too-brief kiss to your lips before he caught your hand and placed the toy into your palm. “You know you want to.”

You swallowed thickly as you looked between him and the toy with a slow-forming smirk. “I love the way you think.” You quipped as you handed the toy back to him.

He mirrored your smirk, “I thought you might enjoy it.” His hand slid back between your thighs, teasing your slick flesh through your underwear before he pushed the lace aside and worked to press the toy into you.

Javier gave you cunt a quick pat once the toy was nestled within you. “It’s only fair, isn’t it?” He questioned as he set the toy to one.

You moaned, momentarily stunned by stimulation that was buzzing through your pelvic region. You leaned back against the shelves, cupping your breasts as you met his gaze. “I can’t wait til you feel this, Javi.” You told him, your breath coming out in shaky exhales as he brought you towards your orgasm.

He descended upon you, his knee pressed between your thighs to give you something to grind against as the heat blossomed within you. You trembled as you came, your cunt clenching desperately around the toy as he got you off.

Javier quickly shut the toy off, turning his focus to kissing you then. His mouth slanted hungrily over yours, his tongue exploring your mouth as he fondled your breasts, touching you wherever he could.

“Go undress,” You told him, tugging at his hair sharply. “And grab the lube.”

“Whatever you want, baby.” Javier told you as he stole another kiss before vanishing out the closet door.

The harness worked perfectly with your lingerie, none of the fastenings rubbing against each other uncomfortably.

The toy he had bought at the shop seemed larger than the first model — though not by much. A little more girthy and just a little longer. And with a quick switch of the remote it came to life where it protruded from the harness, buzzing with the same intensity as the toy within you.

It would certainly be an interesting way to bring in the New Year.

Javier was waiting for you on the bed, a hand lazily stroking his rigid cock as he laid there.

“Are you ready for this?” You questioned, hands on your hips as you approached the bed.

Javier’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “Yes.”

“Same rules as before. Safe word or tap out with three squeezes.” You reminded him as he climbed onto the bed and laid down beside him.

“I love you,” Javier whispered as he cupped your cheek and kissed you.

You kissed the tip of his nose, “I love you too.”

He chuckled, tucking hair behind your ear. “I can’t believe we’re doing this again.”

“I’ll mourn that there’s no hair to tug at,” You snapped your fingers as you gestured to his hair. “Even if it looks good.”

Javier pulled your in for another kiss, “Next summer.”

“Good.” You stole another kiss before you moved down the bed and settled onto your knees in front of Javier, your gaze flickering between his face and his cock, where it laid against his lower belly.

Javier ran his hand over his chest, exhaling shakily as he glanced downwards at the toy protruding from the harness.

“Like what you see?” You questioned as you slid your hands up his legs where he had them bent over your thighs to accommodate you between his legs.

He nodded his head slowly, working his jaw as he stared at you. “It’s bigger, isn’t it?”

You laughed softly, giving his knee a reassuring squeeze. “Just a smidge. I don’t think Rocky’s led us astray yet.” You reached for the bottle of lubricant, squirting some into your palm and coating the shaft of the light blue toy. “If you hate it, we can stop.”

It had been awhile since the last time you’d played with the harness.

“I’m good, baby.” He assured you as he sank back against the pillows. Javier slid his hand over to grab the remote that was connected to the toy nestled within you.

You twitched as he set the toy to the first setting, a pleasant hum of desire being stoked within you. It wasn’t enough to get you anywhere fast, but it was enough to make your body come alive all over again.

You were still reeling from the first orgasm he’d brought you towards, the lacy crotch of your underwear soaked through with your own arousal.

“Tease.” You hissed out lightly as you squirted out another dollop of lubricant, coating your fingers.

Javier smirked at you, his eyes warm with desire as you held his gaze and stroked your finger down the length of his cock, over his balls, down towards that tight pucker.

He stiffened and you were quick to soothe him with gentle words as you rubbed the top of his thigh, “I’m good.” Javier assured your, exhaling again as he tried to relax his muscles.

You pressed lightly against him, watching his face cautiously as you worked your two fingers into him. “Look at you,” You whispered. “Fuck. Is this what you want, Javi? Do you want me to fuck you, just like this?”

Javier grabbed at your knee, his hips shifting towards your touch.

“Use your words,” You reminded him, squirting a little more lube onto your fingers as you continued working them in and out of him. “I want you to beg for it.”

His eyes clenched closed and he let out a low moan as you pulled your fingers out of him. “Baby, please.”

“Please what?”

Javier glared at you, “I’ve waited three months for you to fuck me again, baby. You know exactly what I want.”

You smirked at him as you curled your fingers around the shaft of the toy, guiding it into position. You pulled the remote out of the waistband of your underwear, letting your finger hover over the settings as you prepared to work the toy into him.

“Is this what you want?”

“Yes.” His back arched and you marveled at just how good he looked like this. Javier looked good when he relinquished control. “Fuck, baby. Please.”

Another sound escaped him as you the tip of the toy brushed against his puckered center. He winced momentarily as the toy pressed into him.

“You’re doing so good.” You promised him, grabbing at his leg for support as you continued working the length of the toy into him. You waited until you were seated fully within him before you turned the toy on.

His cock twitched against his stomach as the toy buzzed to life within him. “Holy shit.” He breathed out, shifting beneath you as he curled his hands around your legs, his fingers fanning out over the dark tights covering your skin.

“Is that a good holy shit?” You questioned, remaining completely still within him.

Javier nodded, “Yes.”

You drew back until just the tip of the toy was still in him and you switched the toy up another notch as you slid back into him. You moved slowly, rolling your hips as you worked the toy in and out of him.

The look on his face was enough to make your entire body throb with want. His cock was leaking against his stomach and his lips party with unspoken words as you fucked the toy into him.

It took you a moment to find the right angle, to reach his own sweet spot and when you did—

Javier fumbled with the remote, switching it from one to four in one motion.

Your pace faltered and you rocked forward roughly as he sank the length of the toy into him. Your head fell forward and you moaned in unison with the sounds falling from his lips.

“Javier,” You managed. “You look so fucking good like this.” You bucked your hips into him, trying to keep pace with the pulsing throb of the toy inside you.

You fumbled for the remote, shutting it off as you let him climb down from the high that was building.

“Fuck!” Javier grabbed at the sheets beside his hip as you pulled out of him completely. His eyes were blown wide as he lifted his gaze to find yours. “Baby, don’t stop.”

You ran your hands over the tops of his thighs, “Twenty minutes until 199–“ You moaned as the toy within you continued to charge towards your own release. “1999.”

Javier writhed beneath you, “Baby.”

You dragged your teeth over your bottom lip as you looked down at him. “Do you want something?” You questioned as you lined the toy back up.

Javier’s back arched as you pressed into him again and the sound he made set you alight, fanning fresh heat through your lower belly.

You held onto his legs for support as you shifted, keeping yourself pressed into him as you moved to lean over him on your knees.

His cock was trapped between your bellies as you planted your hands on the bed beside his chest.

“Are you going to come for me?” You questioned, your lips barely brushing against his as you spoke. You grabbed for the remote, switching the toy back on to a pace that matched the one vibrating within you.

Javier scrambled to touch you — fingers in your hair, hands sliding down your arms, his breath hot on your lips.

You rolled your hips with a little more haste, chasing your own release as much as his. With every movement, the strap of the harness was rubbing the lace of your underwear right against your clit and in tandem with the vibrator you were dangling right on the edge.

His fingers curled around the back of your head as his lips crashed into yours, his tongue unfurling against your tongue as he kissed you desperately.

Javier stiffened beneath you, his hips rocking to meet your thrusts as he came apart for you, his cock spilling over his stomach, trapped between both of you.

You grabbed at the remote, cranking up the setting to four — just to watch the utterly fucked look that passed over his face as the overstimulation from his release flooded his senses.

“Shit!” Javier swore through clenched teeth. You sat back on your knees, keeping the buzzing toy seated within him as you watched him.

“You’re so good, babe.” You told him, petting your hand over his thigh.

You were so close to your own release, you could feel it building. But that mounting pleasure was cut short with a wave of concern as Javier grabbed at your knee and gave it three quick squeezes.

“I’ve got you,” You assured him as you shut off the toy and quickly withdrew from him. “Hey, hey. Are you good, Javi?” You questioned as you took the remote for your toy out of his hand and shut it off.

“Yeah,” He grunted, giving a stiff nod as he stared up at the ceiling. “Holy fuck, baby.” Javier breathed out, his chest rising and falling as he caught his breath. “Shit—“

You shook your head as you brushed your knuckles over his cheek, “Don’t. I’m fine.” You promised him, tracing your fingertips over his nose. “Are you sure you’re good?”

“It was too much,” He told you, rubbing at his forehead before he let his head tilt to the side to look at you. “But fucking amazing.”

You scooted closer to him and pressed your lips to his, “Worth the three month wait?”

“Mhm.” He mumbled as he kissed you again. “It was very good.”

“I’m gonna go clean this off.” You told him as you moved to get out of bed. “I’ll be right back.”

You’d deal with the mess tomorrow, you figured as you removed the harness and sat in the bathtub to clean later. You washed off your hands and grabbed a damp cloth to clean him up with.

“This is a good look for you,” You told Javier as you stepped back into the bedroom. “You’ve got this glassy-eyed freshly-fucked thing going on.”

Javier snorted, “I wonder why.” He jerked a little as you used the cloth to wipe off his stomach and cock, before sweeping it down between his thighs.

“Sorry.” You grimaced, giving his leg a reassuring squeeze.

“Baby, it’s alright.” Javier assured you again. “It was just overwhelming in the moment.”

“I’m allowed to worry about you,” You reminded him as you laid back down beside him. “Last thing I want to do is accidentally hurt you during this.” You gestured between the two of you.

Javier ran his hand over your lace-covered lower belly, trialing downwards between your thighs, “You didn’t come, did you?”

You shook your head, “Babe, it’s fine.”

“There are five more minutes of this year and I know how I want to end it.” Javier told you as he hooked his fingers into your underwear, “These need to come off.”

You rolled your eyes, glancing at the bedside clock as you sat up to unfasten the garters and slide your underwear off. You were aching — even your thighs slick with your desire as you angled yourself towards him. “What did you have in mind?”

Javier ran his tongue over his bottom lip and smirked at you, “I think you know.” He retorted as he beckoned you closer.

You moved to straddle his chest, letting him maneuver himself beneath you until his mouth was between your thighs.

“So this is how you want to ring in the New Year?” You questioned as he played your fingers through his hair.

Javier’s answer was to turn the toy back on, the first setting reigniting the flames that had gone cold. He held onto your hips tightly, keeping you from rolling them and accidentally breaking his nose in the heat of the moment.

He held you steady with a grip hard enough to bruise as he wrapped his lips around your clit and teased it in tandem with the vibrations of the toy.

You let yourself get lost in the sensation, your entire lower stomach throbbing with desire as you coaxed another orgasm from you. Your thigh muscles twitched and you tried to squirm out of his hold.

It felt like heaven. Your body perfectly in tune with his. It was hard to believe that yet another year had slipped by — and an eventful one at that.

“Happy New Year, baby.” Javier whispered as he lazily kissed your inner thigh, his mustache glistening with your arousal as he eased the toy from you.

You slumped forward, grabbing at the headboard for support. “Happy fucking New Year.” You laughed as you grinned down at him.

There was no one else you wanted to spend your years with.

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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tansypoisoning · 4 years

Text

(Un)Conditional - Part 2

I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I’m Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now

You didn’t remember how or why you found yourself in Ransom’s bed in the first place, but now, poor, pregnant and desperate, you had your reasons for putting up with him, and they weren’t noble. His reasons for staying with you weren’t noble either.

Hey, long time no see... This took me longer than it should because I wasn’t sure about the dialogue. Still not sure about it. Some of you might have missed the polls I posted so you could help me decide the future of this series, so here they go: Whether or not I should redeem Ransom and What gender the baby (or babies, damn) should be. Democracy is important :)

Anyway: Reader meets the Thrombeys...

Story warnings: Smut, abusive relationships, mentions of past sexual assault, talk of abortion, daddy kink, drinking, mention of drug use (Will add more as the story goes on)

Chapter 1 - Truce

Chapter 3

Fandoms: Knives Out

Ships: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Word Count: 6k

Chapter warnings: The reader and Ransom joke about incest and Ransom jokes about selling the baby to pay his grandfather back for all the money he lend him; people drink wine; there’s mention of drugs and people doing them; The Thrombeys are being particularly shitty.

You were off to the clinic to get an urine exam the next day. Ransom had encouraged you to get a more reliable test to make sure you were pregnant, but he wouldn’t accompany you. He was busy, he said, but he didn’t say with what. Probably begging his granddaddy for more money or chasing after another pair of legs.

The clinic would call you in a couple of days to let you know the results. The wait was killing you. The longer you waited, the harder it would be for you to get an abortion. At some point the pill would stop being an option, and you would have to go under the… knife? Scalpel? Coat hanger? Whatever the procedure entailed, it was bound to be more stressful than just taking some meds.

What was most concerning, though, was the possibility of you becoming attached to the fetus. Your misgivings originated from a fear that you might be doing something you shouldn’t, but you had no particular regard for the thing growing inside you. You might as well be carrying a rock – it certainly tired you like one. Some day that could change, though, and the moment it did you knew it would be game over.

The first thing you did when you got home was take off your coat, kick off your shoes and fall face-first on the couch. That was also the only thing you did. According to the sources you checked, fatigue was an early pregnancy symptom, but you weren’t sure it was meant to be this bad. Good thing you weren’t behind on your freelance work; you didn’t think you could handle doing anything that evening. You were hungry, but didn’t have the energy to even go to the kitchen. Your cellphone started ringing at some point, but you had dropped your bag by the entrance. Maybe something else happened too; you didn’t know, you fell asleep soon after.

You were roused from your nap by a cacophony of car honks right outside your window.

You jumped from the couch and stumbled to see what the commotion was about. You expected to find a car crash in front of your building, but all that was there was a familiar vehicle.

You stepped into your slippers and left your apartment. Ransom was still abusing the horn of his BMW when you came out onto the lawn.

“What are you doing?” You cried out, jogging to his car.

He put his head out through the window. “You don’t pick up your phone anymore?” He complained.

“I was sleeping.” The reason why you didn’t answer didn’t matter. This was a distraction. “Why are you here?”

“I came to pick you up, what else?” He seemed to notice you confusion and explained himself “I’m going to introduce you to my family. They’re having a dinner party tonight at my grandfather’s house. If I show up there with a kid before they even know the mother, my mother’s gonna kill me.”

That gave you pause. Introduce you to his family? That had never been in the cards before. Ransom had always been against anything that could hint to intimacy that went beyond sex, because intimacy entailed responsibility, and he was allergic to that. Your relationship was more of an arrangement, one in which he was the one with the most to gain.

Perhaps this would be your chance to really get something for yourself, something other than the occasional orgasm. Although Ransom’s charms and your proclivities were the biggest reason behind the start of your odd relationship, you’d be lying if you said his grandfather’s accomplishments didn’t affect your interest in him. Having been an avid reader of Harlan’s books back in high school (when you still had time and motivation to read) and now working as an assistant editor in the mystery fiction imprint of a large publishing company, you had hoped that maybe being involved with Ransom would give you the chance to meet him.

Even when it became clear Ransom didn’t like you like that, you still stuck around. He was inflexible when it came to your relationship’s dynamics, but you still had a sliver of hope that one day you’d get to meet his family. In the end you were right, and all you had to do to get your wish was let your idol’s grandson raw you after a couple of beers.

“I’m not even sure if I’m pregnant yet.”

“After five tests? Come on.”

“Well, I don’t know if I’m gonna keep it.”

“If you don’t, you don’t. Just let me introduce you before you decide. It’ll be awkward otherwise.”

You couldn’t argue with his logic. Ransom’s family wasn’t likely to think well of you if he introduced you as “the chick I knocked up by accident”. Your family wouldn’t be happy about it either, and yet you had to find a way to convince him to meet them at some point. You knew they weren’t going to like him, but it was better than trying to pretend it was a case of Immaculate Conception. They wouldn't fall for it anyway.

“Go get ready so we can go.” He said.

You nodded and ran back inside. He looked like he was in a rush, so all you felt comfortable doing was retouching your make up and putting on a different pair of pants. When you came back down, Ransom was pouting at his wheel.

“About time,” he said “I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I took like five minutes.”

“Eight.” He tapped the watch in his wrist.

You decided humoring him wasn’t worth it, so you got into the passenger seat without a word. Ransom took off, his tires squealing as he did a u-turn on your sidewalk. He always drove like a madman, most of all when he was in a hurry.

“How long ‘til we get there?” You asked.

“I can make it in half an hour.”

“I mean safely.”

“In that case, thirty minutes.”

Shame on you, forgetting Ransom was convinced he was immortal.

“Is there anything I have to know about your family before I get there?” You asked, trying to take your mind off the traffic lights flashing by at an alarming speed.

“I could never do them justice,” he snickered.

“At least give me something to work with.”

“You are going to have talk to my parents at least,” he mused “Just nod and agree with whatever my father says. You gotta be smarter with my mother, but avoid challenging her. Joni and Meg are annoying, Walt’s creepy, and there’s no point in talking to Donna and Jacob; they’re gonna hate you no matter what.”

“And Harlan?”

The question put a grimace on his face.

“Be honest. He’s gonna like you.” There was a minute pause before he added “We just celebrated his eighty-fifth birthday, so if you can bring up how good he looks for his age without being obnoxious, he’s gonna love it.”

“Eighty-five? When was that?” You liked Harlan’s work, but you didn’t like it enough to bother learning his birth year. You expected him to be younger, what with all the books he was still pumping out on a yearly basis.

“Last week.”

“Your family is big on get-togethers, then?”

He grimaced. “Unfortunately.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt,” you offered. You weren’t sure you’d get along with your parents as well as you did if they didn’t live in another state.

“Sucking does too.”

“But I thought you liked people who suck?”

That was a twelve year old boy joke, but it got you a chuckle.

“Already know what I’ll be trying today: Hey, Joni, blow me.”

“That’s your aunt right?” You asked and received a nod in response “I can’t wait to see you asking her for a blow job.” You didn’t really think he would go that far, so you weren’t worried you were goading him on. If he did it anyway, it would be because he decided the amusement he would get from pissing his aunt off would be worth whatever she could do to get back at him.

“Fuck, I’d accept one from my grandfather at this point.” You two had had sex just yesterday, but that was fine, you supposed.

“I think I’m going to regret this, but since we’re already in too deep and none of us knows when to stop, where are your parents in the Joni-Harlan blowjob scale?” This question might’ve offended anyone else, but Ransom was made of sterner, more horrible stuff.

He replied without missing a beat. “Oh, my dad wins easy. I don’t fancy getting bit.”

The throwaway line about his mother killing him if he just announced your pregnancy out of the blue came to mind. You wondered if she was as terrible as he made her out to be. You wondered if any of his relatives were as horrible as he made teem out to be.

“Hard to think you’d be scared of anyone in your family with all the money they lend you and you never pay back.”

He snorted. “I’m not scared of any of them. Wouldn’t be going if I were. I already owe Harlan more ‘one-pounds of flesh’ than I weigh.”

“Good thing he doesn’t charge interest.”

“Who says he doesn’t?” His eyes flicked to you for a moment, comically wide “What do you think I want the baby for?”

“You- you want the baby?” You knew he meant to jest about selling your child, and perhaps the bit about wanting it was said in the spirit of the joke, but you couldn’t help but hope it was a Freudian slip. Why did you hope that?

His Adam’s Apple bobbed as he considered your question for a few seconds. “I said I would help you with it.”

“No, you said that at first, but now you said you want it. I didn’t even ask for help, I just thought I should tell you. Why did you offer to help in the first place?”

He shrugged. Something about the gesture felt off, less cocksure than his usual self. “Because it felt right.”

“But do you want to do it? Do you even know what raising a child means?”

“Do you?”

No, you didn’t. You might have even less knowledge of the subject than Ransom, weird as that seemed. You hadn’t said you wanted to have the baby, though. You weren’t sure what you wanted.

“Do you want me to drop you off at a clinic? Because we can end this now.” Something about the way he’d said it made it seem as if he was talking about more than just the pregnancy.

“That’s not what I meant.” You whispered.

Edifices were replaced by trees as Ransom drove on. It was easy to focus on the changing view, now that he wasn’t talking to you anymore. You had broken one of his unspoken rules: never get emotional around him. You knew he wasn’t in it for something as trivial as feelings, but now with the pregnancy thing you thought… Well, you weren’t sure what you thought.

The rest of the trip went by in silence, seeming to take forever in spite of the scenery flying by. By the time you arrived at your destination you were disheartened – lucky you that the house Ransom parked in front of was the stuff murder mystery fiction dreams were made of.

Harlan’s mansion had been plucked from one of his books, it had to have been. With its red bricks and the Gothic Revival style, it looked like it’d been taken straight out of “Around the Corner and Down the Lane”. It was a magnificent, giant, mysterious house you could easily imagine multiple murders happening inside.

It was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

Ransom left the car, slamming the door shut on his way out. You had to hurry after him to get to the porch as he was knocking on the door.

You didn’t have to wait long to hear sounds coming from the other side. There were footsteps against a wooden floor and the shuffling of keys, and then time seemed to slow down. When you woke up that morning, you’d never have thought you would end up meeting Ransom’s family by the end of the day. Were they anything like him? What would they think of you? And what would they think about the thing? You weren’t going to talk about it today, but still…

The door opened, revealing a slim woman with an old fashioned bob-cut. She looked confused when she saw Ransom, and even more when she spotted you. She opened her mouth, but didn’t get the chance to say anything.

“Hey, Frannie,” Ransom greeted. If you didn’t know him better, you’d assume he was being friendly. “Take this for me, would you?”

He removed his coat with the speed you’d come to expect from him when it came to taking off his clothes and shoved the mass of fabric into her arms. He walked inside, brushing past her, ignoring the outraged look on her face. You followed after, and her expression was no kinder towards you. It wasn’t the first time someone got mad at you for something Ransom did, but what were you to do? It wasn’t as if you could control him.

As Ransom walked through an arch on the left and the woman scurried through a door to the right, you stood on the spot right in front of the entrance. The gargoyles sculpted in the wood of the stair railing paralyzed you, the lights from the ornate chandelier blinded you, and the memories of books read long ago, hiding under the blankets with a flashlight when you were supposed to be sleeping came rushing back to you. This was much more than you had been expecting.

The inside of the house was dark and sinister like the outside, but there was a sense of warmth you hadn’t anticipated. The soft lights, the lavish rugs, and the numerous trinkets scattered about gave it a lived in feeling. The decoration somehow split the difference between “home” and “haunted house” right down the middle.

Why was it that Ransom didn’t like visiting his grandfather again?

“What are you standing around for?”

Speak of the devil…

Your forced your feet to move and followed him deeper into the house. Something inside you screamed at you to just ditch Ransom and this stupid dinner party to explore by yourself, because you got the feeling he would end up dragging you to a place that looked much more boring. You needn’t have worried – the living room was adorned in much the same way as the hall, cluttered and discordant and fascinating. Every piece of decor seemed to selected based on its own merits rather than any common theme or style, but it somehow all worked together.

You had started making your way to a windowsill, from where a model of a carousel with fish instead of horses called to you, when a voice stopped you in your tracks – a voice you had never heard before.

“Who’s that?”

You whirled around to see a man standing just a few feet away from Ransom. The age was about right, and with the two standing so close together, it was hard to deny the similarities between them.

“That’s my date,” Ransom said with a shrug.

“Date? You brought a date?”

“Nice, Richard. We don’t want to make her feel too welcome.”

At that, the older man looked back at you with a grin that would be charming if not for the utter shock reflected in his eyes.

“Hey, there,” he greeted, extending a hand “Richard Drysdale, father of this,” he glanced behind himself to look at Ransom, who was busy messing with a figurine in the mantelpiece “rascal.”

You offered your hand to him (his handshake was strong, professional) and introduced yourself.

“I gotta say, this is really something else,” Richard said “Ransom hasn’t brought any girls home since high school.”

“I bring girls home all the time, I just don’t live with you anymore.”

The meaning of his words didn’t go unnoticed. You already knew he fucked other women on the side – or rather, there was no “side”; you guys weren’t a thing, and it wasn’t as if you only put out for him – but Richard understood him as well.

“Is that the kind of thing you say in front of your date? I thought we taught you better than this.”

“No, Richard. We really didn’t.”

You looked to the source of the voice, and spotted the woman who had to be Ransom’s other progenitor.

“Linda,” she extended her hand to you, but not a smile. Her handshake was even stronger than her husband’s.

Richard joined his son by the fireplace to fiddle with a pewter box, looking downright chastised. Ransom, for his part, seemed to be fighting the urge to laugh.

He had said his family was a mess, and that he found it all terribly fun. Up until now, you weren’t really sure you believed him.

“Whatever this” Linda pointed from her son to you, then back to him again “is about, I hope it ends soon, for your sake.” The last bit, she’d said while looking at you, then she left through a different archway than she’d entered from.

It seemed Ransom had inherited the charm from his father, but the ability to put the fear of God in those who crossed him came from his mother.

“Who else is here?” Ransom asked once Linda was out of earshot.

“Mostly everyone is in the library,” Richard replied, pinching the bridge of his nose, all the former friendliness leaving him like a deflating balloon “your grandfather locked himself in his office with the nurse, and who knows where they put Wanetta. Meg’s not coming.”

“What excuse did Joni come up with?”

“Schoolwork. Essays, whatever. I mean, it’s a Friday, it could wait.”

“She’s going to spend at least half of the evening doing drugs with a friend, easy.”

“Dope.”

Ransom snorted “Like she’s shooting up.”

Richard fixed his son with a disbelieving look. “No. Dope is weed. Dope was weed just yesterday.”

“It used to be.” Upon seeing the defeated expression on his father’s face, Ransom shrugged “World’s passing you by, man.”

That didn’t help. Richard looked back to the pewter box, turning it on his fingers like he was trying to find the best angle to see his reflection. Ransom stared at him for a second longer, then stepped away from the fireplace and exited through the same way his mother had.

He didn’t call you, so you assumed you weren’t needed at the moment, but then, what were you going to do with yourself – watch a man have an existential crisis?

You didn’t have to wait long to find out. You had been standing there, watching Richard sigh to himself for maybe a minute when three other people entered the room. The first was the woman who had opened the door for you; the second, a younger woman, with something almost doe-like about her, and the third…

Well, Harlan Thrombey didn’t need introductions – at least, not to you.

He was the first to speak, looking at the woman Ransom had called Frannie. “Seems like you aren’t going mad, Fran. Unless we all are, which is possible. Can you see her too?” And at that he turned to the other woman, who smiled at him. It was hard to tell whether her smile was fond or embarrassed.

Then, his eyes landed on you.

“Since you’re just standing around with this idiot,” He said. Richard gave a tight smile and tapped his fingers against the mantelpiece ��I’m going to guess idiot number two left you to fend for yourself?”

This wasn’t the kind of welcome you’d expect when meeting your not-boyfriend’s family, but Ransom was eccentric, so maybe his relatives were as well. Maybe it was a rich people thing.

“I’m used to it, when it comes to Ransom” you offered.

Harlan grinned at you, but then again, he had been smiling since he entered the room. There was something very Ransom-like about both expressions.

He ambled to you, extending a hand which you rushed to grasp. His smile grew, but maybe that wasn’t good.

“I’m Harlan, the proprietor of this” he gestured to the room with both hands “little menagerie of horrors. And these,” he turned to the women “are Fran, my housekeeper, the only one who can keep this mess in order,” the woman who’d opened the door smiled and raised her hand in greeting, but she still seemed suspicious of you “and Marta, my caretaker. Heaven sent, I would already be dead if not for her.”

Marta had smiled at you as she was introduced, but frowned at the last comment.

“Don’t say that,” she admonished “you’re strong like a horse, you’re going to live for a million years, I’m sure.”

Harlan whimpered theatrically and extended a hand as if trying to grasp at something.

“Marta, is that you? It’s so dark, I can’t see. Oh, is that a light at the end of the tunnel?”

“Really? You’re impossible.” Marta huffed, and Harlan laughed.

They seemed close. Close enough that they’d forgotten all about you in their banter.

Once he was done with his joke Harlan turned back to you.

“I promise you I don’t get any more charming, but you get used to it with time.”

Time. Did he think you’d get to be around long enough to get used to anything there?

“Let’s... get this party started,” he said with a wink “I don’t ask you your name because I’m dying to see how my grandson will introduce you, and I don’t want to get attached.”

That answered that question.

You followed the party of three into another living room(parlor?), then another(fainting room? How many rooms for sitting could one person need?), then finally to what you presumed was the library (that could easily double as a living room), given the floor to ceiling bookcases in every wall that wasn’t occupied by a window. The room was large, large than any room in a house needed or had a right to be, and there were so many books on so many shelves there was no way Harlan would’ve been able to read them all, even accounting for his age.

Despite the exorbitance, the place was cozy and interesting, not at all a monochromatic art installation behemoth the likes of the Kardashian-West mansion (Which you didn’t care about in the slightest… one of your coworkers had shown you the pictures, it was all), the sort of thing you expected from people with too much money and no sense of comfort. The library was furbished with plush seats, nooks where one could hide in to read in peace, even a mezzanine, and– was that a sculpture inspired by “A Thousand Knives”?! Excessive, very excessive, and somehow also really cool. You were sure you could spend hours perusing books and examining baubles, but there were other people already in the room, and you had been raised too well to just ignore them when it was obvious you had already seen them.

Linda leaned against an open window, balancing an unlit cigarette between two fingers, and looking out, as if debating whether or not to have a smoke and whether or not doing so inside. There were a man and a woman on a pair of matching high-backed chairs, looking nervous and annoyed respectively as another woman talked at them, and a teenager speaking to Ransom in between typing things on his phone. He was the first to notice you’d entered the room and he directed a brief glare to you before his eyes landed on Marta.

“Well, no need to stand up or anything,” Harlan spoke from behind you, waving his hand as he passed.

“Dad, plea-” the sitting man began, but he stopped once he saw you. After a moment of confused staring by both parties, he looked back to Harlan “Is that-”

“Don’t know; she came with your nephew.”

All eyes were now on Ransom. He was enjoying the attention, if the stupid smug grin on his face was any indication.

“I brought a date. I figured I had to be the first to do it, since Meg thinks all sex is rape and Jacob’s an incel,” that earned him an elbow in the gut, which he barely reacted to.

“A date? Boohoo,” Harlan spoke, and you almost winced “I expected something more exciting from you.”

“Would you rather she was a notorious diamond thief and I brought her here to steal every red penny you own, old man?”

“That would be more on brand.”

“That’s it,” Marta said, placing her hands on his shoulders and directing him to an armchair in front of the knife sculpture “I’m putting you to bed earlier, abuelo.”

“Not without me throwing a tantrum, you’re not.”

Ransom’s uncle looked back and forth from his father, then to you, then to his nephew, before settling on you and standing up. He picked up a cane that was resting beside the armchair and wobbled toward you, smiling.

“Hello. I’m Walt, it’s a pleasure to meet you…”

You gave him your name, exchanged proper greetings, shook hands; his fingers were trembling slightly, but the length of the hand shake was very appropriate.

“I hope you like it here so far. Any friend of Ransom’s is welcome here.”

“You say that because you never met any of my friends.”

“You know what Ransom,” Walt turned gave him a sarcastic smile “I’m surprised you have any friends at all. You sure you not paying her to be here?”

You didn’t know exactly what it was that Walt had said, but something had set Ransom off.

“Why, you want a round with her? Don’t think you could afford it right now, pal.”

Walt’s lips were still pulled up into a smile, but his pupils were darting from side to side like he was searching for escape routes. That was fair, so were you.

“Don’t speak to my husband that way,” the woman who hadn’t said a single word to or even acknowledged your presence so far, gripped the seat’s armrest as she seethed at Ransom “it’s not his fault that-”

At that she fell silent and turned to Harlan, who was looking at everything with mild interest.

“Actually, you don’t have a job either, do you Donna?” Ransom continued. You knew that look; he was getting steam and you didn’t want to know what would come next.

“I think we’re all just a little stressed with everything that’s been going on,” the woman who had been silent so far – Ransom’s other aunt, you presumed, the one he wanted to suck his dick – mercifully cut in before he could get anything else out “I think we need to roll things back, maybe start over? I can go back to the car and get my crystals so we can do a-”

As if on cue, Fran entered again, a tray with a wine bottle and glasses in hand. She left everything on a coffee table, then walked by Marta, whispering something that convinced the younger woman to move to a more secluded corner of the room with her.

Donna perked up when the drink touched the table, and, smiling the well practiced smile of a hostess who did her duty with no joy, she started pouring drinks and handing them around. When one of the glasses was placed in your hands, you weren’t sure what to do. You rolled the stem in your fingers, pondering as the other adults drank and Jacob sulked.

“So,” Joni began, giving you an easy grin “you and Ransom have known each other for…”

As she trailed off, Linda chuckled, but she wasn’t looking at you.

“Eight months, give or take.” You answered.

The answer seemed to surprise her “Eight months? And how long have you been dating?”

“Oh, I’m not...” you turned to Ransom for help, but he was looking at his nails as if they were the most fascinating thing in the World or as if he really didn’t want to take part in this conversation “I’m not sure. We haven’t exactly made things official.”

It looked like she was fighting to keep her smile in place “And you met-”

“What do you do?” Linda interrupted, still looking out the window “Do you actually have a job or are you just expecting to scam someone here?”

You turned to Ransom; he had placed a hand over his heart and was looking at his mother as if he found her comment deeply offensive.

You hadn’t thought about what you would say if Ransom’s family decided to grill you, deciding it would be best not to overthink things as he’d suggested. A question about your job was expected – it was just harder to process it when it had been asked in such a manner.

“No, I- I’m an assistant editor at Little, Brown and Company.”

There was a splashing sound, and you looked just in time to see Walt trying to rub off a stain from his sweater with one hand, while holding his wine glass with trembling fingers. When he noticed you looking at him, he offered a stiff smile.

That was the wrong answer, it seemed. It was the truth, of course, but the reactions around you were discouraging. Linda huffed, Harlan chuckled, Joni nodded mechanically, Donna seethed as she wiped at her husband’s clothes with a napkin, Walt trembled, Jacob’s scowl deepened, the sound coming from Fran and Marta’s corner of the room ceased, and Ransom’s grin was the widest you had ever seen on his face.

“Really?” Linda asked, now focused on her son “Where do you find those people?”

He laughed. “What? I’m very charming.”

“I need to use the restroom,” you squawked. You didn’t really need the restroom, just any place other than there.

“I’ll show you where it is,” Marta said, as quickly as you had. Her eyes told you everything: she was also dying to get out.

You handed your drink over to Ransom and followed Marta out of the room, the two of you almost running down the hallway.

She led you to a lavatory, where you turned on the faucets to cover the sound of you whimpering and heaving inside. After splashing your face with some water, you exited the room to find her still waiting for you outside. She offered an apologetic smile.

“So…” you started, not sure of how to best broach the subject. Good thing she already knew what you wanted to get at.

“They aren’t always like this,” she said “they’re all good people, but things have been a little… you know how it can be with family, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah, it’s just a little… seems kind of a bad time for me to be showing up.”

“No, I think it helps. They are better behaved when there’s company.”

But that’s true of everyone.

“Ransom didn’t tell you about…? Anything?” She asked.

“No. He said it’d be fine.”

Marta’s expression was of doubt, but she didn’t say anything to discredit him.

“Are you okay to go back?”

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

She nodded and stared leading you back to the room.

“They’re good people, but can be a little much sometimes. You get used to it with time.”

“You- I’m sorry if I’m overstepping, but you don’t look that used to them yourself.”

She shrugged “I guess I just… haven’t been around long enough.”

The scene you returned to was different from the one you had run from. Linda had abandoned the window and reclined on one of the armchairs. Richard had made his appearance, leaning against a bookcase behind Linda; He kept a respectful (perhaps even safe) distance between the two. Walt, Jacob and Donna were squeezed in on a single couch, looking like they’d just been plucked from a stuffy family portrait. Joni lounged on a window seat, leaning her chin on one hand and swirling her wine with the other. Fran was nowhere to be found. Harlan, sat atop the chair in front of the halo of knives, looking every bit the magnanimous patriarch. Ransom had taken his place on an armchair, just beside another empty one. On his other side was a small table with two empty wineglasses. His legs were crossed and he had a wide, satisfied smile that you knew well – so you knew it couldn’t mean anything good.

You sat beside him and angled your body in a way you felt would rend a pretty picture, because that seemed to be the game they were playing, while Marta made her way to a corner and stood there, doing the most not to draw attention to herself. Smart.

“So,” Harlan began as you settled into your spot “I think you were telling us about your career?”

“Yes, but there really isn’t much else to say.” Unless they wanted to be bored, that is. You had more tales of spotting typos than of interesting literary works.

“You said you worked at Little, Brown and Co?” He asked and you nodded “How long have you been there?”

“Two years. It’s about all the experience I have working in the field, other than internships in college.”

“Ah, College.” He grinned, but didn’t explain what he found so amusing “What did you major in?”

“English literature, with a minor in communications.”

“Good, good. Topical. You two bonded over books, then?”

You turned to Ransom, who was looking at you with a lazy smile. You had never told him about your job, let alone what you had studied in college.

“Yep,” he said. You two talked about books sometimes, but you didn’t think those conversations had helped with any bonding.

“You know, I think it’s so good to see Ransom has found a positive influence,” Joni said. The affectation in her voice and mannerisms was suddenly much more noticeable, and it felt like an omen.

You turned to Ransom. His lips were pressed together into a thin line and his chest was swelling like he was gathering oxygen for a screaming match or something worse. The longer you spent around these people, the more you were convinced he wasn’t the only one who liked to needle others.

“Honestly, I-” the words tumbled out of your mouth and you could only hope they were the right ones “I’m not sure if he’s influenceable.”

Ransom was still scowling and for a moment you were afraid you had only made things worse, but then his mouth opened and he let out the air in his lungs with a low chuckle. Much better than being in the middle of another argument.

Fran walked back into the room before anyone else could start a scene and announced that dinner was ready. Apparently Harlan hadn’t been exaggerating when he said she was the only one who kept his house in order – all around you tense shoulders relaxed and frowning brows smoothed with the promise of a meal. You must’ve looked happy as well, given you hadn’t eaten a thing since lunch and your stomach was starting to hurt. There was also (and you wished the thought hadn’t run through your mind, but it did) the chance that Ransom and his family would be much less likely to speak if their mouths were stuffed with meatloaf.

You wished you didn’t have those sort of intrusive thoughts about people you had just met, but they weren’t making it easy for you. Marta had alluded to a “family situation” that had left them on edge, but you had never seen people react this badly to strangers. This was the stuff or nightmares, or at least of “Florida Man” news reports. They were supposedly worse when there wasn’t company? How much worse could they get?

Ransom had told you not to worry about dining with his family. Maybe he was so used to them he didn’t think the way they acted was all that strange; maybe he knew his family would behave the way they had but he decided not to warn you for purposes of fuckery; it didn’t matter all that much. The worst thing was knowing that they sucked as hard as he liked to say they did. If you chose to go on with your pregnancy, this is what you would be bringing your child into.

#ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale fic #Ransom Thrombrey #knives out fanfic #mine #(Un)Conditional

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fencesandfrogs · 3 years

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cloudtail’s daughter: jayfeather

alright, strap in, it's time for jayfeather. i've been holding it in on him for what feels like forever now; he's ya boy's favorite character

also, aside from dove and ivy, he's the character with the highest volume of changes to canon. even above cloudtail and brightheart, because they continue their lives, it's not a big deal. and lion and cinder go to the tribe, but like, that's it. (i'm figuring out if jay goes with them over the course of this essay. i think i said he did in holly? but he literally hasn't been mentioned once in that arc because there's a lot going on.) anyway lion and cinder don't get up to anything. but jay's priorities shift and we see that in his books. i'm really excited to write him but i need to finish arc 1 lmao.

but first, same deal as always. this is part of my cloudtail's daughter au, where dovekit and ivykit are born to cloudtail and brightheart. i don't know how well this will read preemptively, but i suspect it will be rather dependent on the others. cloudtail's daughter: dovewing and/or the long post that explains it are both good places to start, see the cloudtail's daughter tag on my blog.

[2.5k words, 14 minute read, one of the last warriors essays on this blog. i'm going to finish out with my character essays and then everything will be on new sideblog. so check out @mallowstep for more.]

section one: the leafpool business

at the beginning of this series, leafpool and jayfeather are on bad terms. they will stay on bad terms for basically the entirity of the book series. while one of my main complaints with po3/oots is the lack of acknowledgement of adoption, jayfeather has been lied to by his mother and his mentor, something neither hollyleaf or lionblaze have to contend with, and then his sister kills herself over it. obviously she doesn't, but from his perspective. so he blames leafpool because he was really close to hollyleaf and now she's gone, and it's his first real loss, and there's so much going on.

and so he's a grouch and he's unhappy and he's just trying to function when his whole support system has been dismantled over the course of what, like, a quarter moon? yeah so dovekit and ivykit are like "wow what a grouch he sucks" the same way they don't realize prey is dying of thirst & etc.

for the most part he's j chilling and then hollyleaf comes back and man is it some family drama. unfortunately it's postponed til book 4 because hollyleaf and jayfeather have journeys but anyway i'm getting ahead of myself, because this section should end and unlike the hollyleaf essay i want to actually have decent organization.

section two: hollyleaf is away (but jayfeather doesn't get to play)

holly, cinder, and dove go to deal with beavers. we only get jayfeather through lionblaze in the books, but jayfeather is...conflicted. he got his sister back and lost her again and oh i should say. i think jayfeather and hollyleaf are the closer pair of the siblings. not that they don't love lionblaze the same, but you know how cats pair bond? like, it's usually a trauma thing, but even in feral cats, you see very close friendships. anyway yeah so for other au's i've been sorting siblings n denmates into pairs for this purpose (mostly jaywing au because there's a lot re. dovepaw and jaypaw and remember they are reincarnated siblings they've got a close bond going.) and it's kind of...i don't know my point is jayfeather misses his sister because she's like, his best friend too. or she was. and then she died and now she's back and she left again, and lionblaze is more concerned about cinderheart, so jayfeather just comes off as grouchy all the time. but really he's lonely and sad.

so yeah, jayfeather is kind of moping around camp and then the tree falls and whoops now briarpaw/light is parapalegic.

and uhh this goes more or less as in canon but we don't get pov which is fine bc u can sub in canon. but jayfeather? he's still a sad boy but now he's a sad boy with purpose and that makes all the difference

yeah he's close with her. they're sweet. it's sweet. he's pressured by brambleclaw to take an apprentice. he's bristly and angry and "you're not my real father" you know?

beaver crew gets back. jayfeather, who had missed holly, is back to being angry for...angst and plot purpose, really.

but you know, when you love & miss someone and they leave and they come back and somehow that's worse because now they can leave you again? and you can't tell them you want them to stay because you're angry and hurt but you want them to stay? god i'm excited to write these chapters i love emotional turmoil.

he's protective of briarlight, he's trying to keep dovepaw from being a medicine cat, hollyleaf is apologizing but he's not ready to hear it and lionblaze and hollyleaf are beginning to reconnect and it feels like betrayal. so when cinderheart and lionblaze go to the tribe, he tags along. everyone, uh, strongly encourages he go. he is the big grouch.

section three: time travelling times

okay so the timeline for these books is...messy. if you track the chronology of my writing, it's messy. which is to say, i was thinking i could put forgotten warrior and distant whispers over the same time span, but that actually doesn't work, as i review my notes for FW because a big part of it is ivy and holly's relationship. so. fake news. whoops. that sucks.

or maybe it doesn't? idk i don't usually tell linear stories. i like messing with emotional impact of events. so writing 600k of very linear story telling is very not easy for me. but i'm trying.

right so basically the official order of events until i change my mind again is as follows (names abbreviated as DIHLJC because they're all unique): DCH returns from beavers, DILCJ go to tribe with some other random warrior undecided, J + rando return, JH start awkwardness (beginning of TFW, middle of DW), DILC return (end of DW), time travel stuff (middle to end of TFW). hopefully that was intelligble, but it is admittedly 85% for my own benefit.

alright so we've covered during beavers, now jayfeather and hmmmm let's say, uhhhh, let's say they go with, literally any interesting background character, uh, bumblestripe! he doesn't do anything in this au bumblestripe goes with them. also since his name starts w b i can still write DIHLJCB and have things be unambigious. and it means there are fewer bs in thunderclan and trust me you don't know how frustrating the existence of like 6 b characters is.

alright so we really have 3 sets of two pairs of cats here. maybe i won't go w bumblestripe, bc he doesn't have an existing relationship w jayfeather. i dunno. i'm a big fan of jay & briar, whether as a ship or just besties, but that's just out, and hollyleaf can't come a) because i said so and b) honestly maybe she can? actually wait hold on that solves my problems. hot damn so 6/6 of the pov cats go to the tribe and this will be one of the only times all six characters are plot relevant at the same time. but i'm going george r r martin on it and seperating the books not by time but into DICL + JH because they're two completely separate character arcs that happen to take place at the same time. (don't worry i'm going to resolve the fallen leaves thing. in this essay ig bc i've already covered hollyleaf.)

okay so yeah hollyleaf is sent bc jayfeather isn't planning on staying w tribe for long time. just short time. and he's all "firestar why"

"well jayfeather," firestar says, "you don't talk to your family."

"i talk to dovewing," jayfeather says

"you're not related to her," firestar says

"there's a whole prophecy about how i'm related to her," jayfeather says

"you know about that?" firestar says

and that's how the cat gets out of the bag.

so anyway. jayfeather and hollyleaf are sent because...hold on, spinning the wheel of reasons for a character to go on a field trip...because...because...because...because...jayfeather had one of those dreams. i don't know. rock or something. now he's going.

they get there, and this is where the books get a lil time wonky, bc jayfeather and hollyleaf stay for like a moon, during which jayfeather goes back in time. i think.

i haven't worked out the details and probably won't until i do an updated au synopsis because it's hard to keep track and i'm more concerned about character through lines. like, jayfeather does this and he feels sad, and hollyleaf is sad about her ghost boyfriend, and they're travelling back together, and hollyleaf is his sister and she doesn't make him feel like he needs protection and lionblaze is bad at that, and they start to talk again.

and yeah, they bond. again. it's kind of, on top of their old bond? like they don't repair anything, they bond like strangers. but it's not nothing, and that matters.

so jayfeather gets back, and we're moving into book five, and i don't remember when the last time i made a section break was or what number we're on, so...sorry.

section ???: old man yells at cloud

alright it's finally jayfeather's moment. you know, he's one of my favorite characters, and he only gets a book and a half. "but mateo," i hear you saying, "doesn't every character get a book and a half? and more importantly, 6x1.5 is 9, so how does every character get a book and a half?" well, yes, every character does, but dovewing and ivypool are relevant in books 1-3 and 6, cinderheart in 1-3 and 5, lionblaze in 1-3, and hollyleaf in 2-5 (and has a critical role in 1 and 6, just no character development), while jayfeather is just really essential to books 4-5, and has a background role in 3. that means he's about equal to lionblaze. he's equal to lionblaze. as far as the numbers go, i cannot tell you. it's a mystery.

right so the reason for this is because (a) jayfeather doesn't do that much in oots. i love him, but he's not, like, super important, and (b) he's going to work better in these books if he's concentrated. because his big theme is his relationship with hollyleaf and the past. they're both kind of stuck in it but in different ways. and that prevents them from ever properly healing. so jay never has a full arc in this. i mean he has a full arc, it's just not a satisfying one. and that means he's sort of got to be put in the containment units.

so anyway, he gets his real big moments in the fifth book, when he's reuniting starclan. i think this is one of the riskier decisions on my part: we'll see whether or not i can deliver on him the way i plan to. but i think i can pull it off so that his arc is more meaningful condensed as such.

right. so. jayfeather is decided. he is going to fix starclan. because dead cats need to get thier shit together and he dgaf.

he spends a decent amount of time arguing with yellowfang and bluestar, because basically no important cats have died. at least we're in omen of the stars so it still makes sense? i have no idea why yellow/blue are still so important. please kill more important cats. it makes us feel things.

but feathertail is also probably going to be involved, i don't know. i haven't read these books (specifically, books 4 and 5 of oots) in forever so i don't really remember what happens. but he's kind of, super done with everything. i think he'll probably try to get the support of mothwing and kestrelflight (which is canon i believe?) and try to work as a team. i feel like there's weirdness w shadowclan too i should sort out.

so yeah, there's some medicine cat bonding, everything is OK, sol is happening? but cinderheart is dealing with that. jayfeather is naturally very upset about disconnects with sol but like he's also dealing with stuff i...i really need to reread outcast and sign of the moon. well, they're on my list after "all of these fucking riverclan novels like why they don't show up in the main series but i still have to read a bunch to be able to write them that's not fair."

alright, well, with that very vague description of what happens, moving on, the prophecy gets revealed to the clans at a whole in like...the ending eighth of this book. trying to maximise the amount of exposure to other clans without messing with the pacing.

so jayfeather and undecided warrior B (definitively not hollyleaf) go to windclan. jayfeather is...very unhappy about this. he does not want to leave. thunderclan is his home, and he's blind, and it's really hard to adapt to a new space and he thinks everyone is going to treeat him badly.

and well, if you've read my culture posts, windclan is....very pro-medicine cats and pro-prophecy cats. funerals. mourning. prayer. is probably the best place to start, but to get to the meat of it, start with general clan culture. to summarize, windclan: religious. but kind of like catholics, they don't believe in an individual connection with starclan. only leaders, and medicine cats, and very rarely members of prophecies have a connection. so. jayfeather. he's twice over. that's very cool to windclan.

so cats are kind of falling over themselves to help him, and like. i mean jayfeather is a grouch and he hates that he needs someone to help him through the territory, but at least they don't treat it like a chore, or like he's pitiable. this is a desirable task. apprentices want to know about his powers. and kestrelflight is a respected part of the clan, arguably more important than onestar, and jayfeather has never really gotten over being shoved in the healer hole as a child like it was lesser or easier to be a medicine cat, and so it's a big change.

and yeah. so i mean. an unobservant reader might say jayfeather has sufficient ego. he does not need stroking. they, of course, would be wrong.

jayfeather has a complex, but it's not an ego issue. he's...he's been denied everything he's wanted, and he's jaded, and weary, and he's never really believed that his clan views him as able and equal. in canon, at present, he's lost almost every cat he's every cared about. alderheart is his strongest remaining tie, and his fear at losing him, but willingness to let him leave, is very telling.

so yeah, jayfeather enjoys being accepted. anyone would. he doesn't really have confidence issues, but....argh. i know why this is good i swear it'll come out in the writing.

anyway, that's...that's pretty much it. jayfeather? done.

#warrior cats #warriors au #warriors #hollyleaf #jayfeather #q #mine #txt #13th #March #2021 #March 13th 2021 #cloudtail's daughter #essay #long

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deukaeloveclub · 3 years

Text

Response to @wickymicky ‘s top ten kpop songs of 2020

I was gonna drop an ask or message but this got long so I’ll annoy the whole tl

10 Izone - Fiesta) I'm not a huge izone fan but I think Fiesta is the song I like the most and I agree about them filling a niche.

9 Gfriend - Crossroads) Crossroads definitely is an emotional song but it's really driven and pulls at your emotions. The choreography is excellent! I also love pink Eunha ✊🏾

8 Cignature - Assa) Oh I haven't thought about Assa in awhile but it's also my favorite cignature song. It's slick yet fun. I think your descriptions of the concept are spot on.

7 Dreamcatcher - BOCA) I totally agree with your first two paragraphs about BOCA being a good follow up to Scream. And tbh the 2nd installments of trilogies are notoriously weak and BOCA doesn’t fall into that but I am def excited for part 3 with Handong back

6 NCT 127 - Kick It) Kick It was definitely very NCT and very iconic. Like the level of coverage was kinda crazy (I wish like even a quarter of the amount of people had covered superhuman cuz I feel like it’s their best song) It was a great title for a great album tho

5 Cool - Weki Meki) Cool is definitely smartly written because it completely conveys the title. I really like Cool although I think I like Oopsy a little better song-wise. So I have the hipster lean of not wanting to bias the ioi members in any post ioi group and even naturally I didn’t gravitate towards dodaeng but one thing about Oopsy was that it was the first time that I was really hit with how good Doyeon’s singing is? Which is kinda weird because it’s not like she lacked lines to show it in the past but it just never really stuck out to me. But it’s not even just Doyeon, although that was the most prominent, all of their voices really stood out to me in Oopsy. Particularly Elly, Suyeon and Lucy you know how you listen to a group and your like ‘oh that’s the main vocal’ I hadn’t quite had that moment with Suyeon yet. Weki Meki has really cool song production so that’s often what I’m paying more attention to. Oopsy still has a solid instrumental but something about the way it’s written or mixed really allows me to appreciate the vocals. But lol sorry for making this about Oopsy. I am also really happy to see Lua’s confidence and the attention she’s getting. I remember when La La La came out I noticed her and was like oh yeah she’s an amazing dancer (who is also main dancer) and being confused that no one seemed to pay attention to her. But I think all eyes are on her now :)

4 Everglow - LA DI DA) Just like you said as soon as I heard this I understood the hype and knew I was also gonna like it. Which came as a surprise to me because up to this point I was not a fan of Everglow’s music. Bon Bon Chocolat to Dun Dun just wasn’t my style of music although I will say that I think they are excellently written particularly Dun Dun. I’m also a 96 baby but I love 80s music or anything inspired by it because 80s music is very often dance music and that’s my favorite kind of music. The strength and consistency of the creative direction between the visuals and audio makes LA DI DA an even stronger package. Adios and Dun Dun being “too built around the drop” I feel that. I also didn’t expect much from LA DI DA though I like it but I ended up listening to their whole mini album so much that one of the songs managed to make it to my top 100 list

3 Gfriend - MAGO) This song is light and easy to listen to because like you said the whole song flows so well. I didn’t get the chance to listen to it too much so Crossroads is still above it for me but I do really like the way they sing in this it’s like a little bit sultry? I didn’t even attempt to follow the arc from crossroads but your interpretation makes sense.

2 Weeekly - Tag Me(@Me) Tag Me came out of nowhere for me too. Youtube had recommended me some of their predebut covers but I don’t think I watched or if I did I forgot. It’s interesting that you compared it to Picky Picky because I also made a comparison between them and early Seventeen (Adore U, Mansae, Aju Nice). There’s that overbrimming youthful energy, incredibly catchy song, the fun and unique choreo. But Weeekly and Tag Me can stand on their own (and they are). I actually think I remember one of your posts about not having checked out Tag Me yet 😂 I remember thinking something like just wait til you do. But yeah every part of the song is amazing I hadn’t even thought about how impressive it is for Monday to have gotten and done that rap part so well as the groups main vocalist :o The group is so talented. And company supporting and pushing Jiyoon's composing that makes me really excited for the future too!? And on top of that they’re all really fun. Sometimes I’ll like a groups music and check out variety/behind the scenes stuff and you don’t really feel drawn to anyone but with Weeekly I immediately latched onto like all of them. I was trying to map out a bias ranking and I realized that I put Jihan 5th and I was like 5th sounds too low for how much I like Jihan. They’re all so adorable and likeable 😭 They really are a breath of fresh air.

1 Dreamcatcher - Scream) Sceram being the most EDM-inspired but the most metal is interesting. I think the mv is also the more horror-themed than the cbs before it. You like music that is noisy and more metal but I also like non-noisy music a lot so I think that’s why the verses don’t bother me as much. It’s also something is present in other dc songs. The soft verses against a very distinct rock chorus/drop. Wow “what was kpop to me before scream”, funny story I think I was odd InSomnia out during the year because I really wasn’t sure if I like Scream of BOCA better. I saw so many people definitely having a favorite but I kept vacillating. And then after seeing them perform both songs at the concert with Handong I immediately realized that Scream is also the song I prefer 😂😂😂

I think you had a very respectable list and it was cool to here your thoughts on the songs. I’ve only just started my list 😭 but I think all of these besides Fiesta and Assa are also up for consideration for soty for me too!

#key talks #gwen #discussion #sweet sweet moots #kpop #oh also the links worked for me at least on desktop (writing long posts on mobile is annoying)

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quindolyn · 3 years

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hi love, congratulations again with you milestone! i was wondering if i could ask for a 🌍? thanks, love u

my name is miliane but i go by liane or millie. (she/her). i’m a 5’4, ravenclaw, bisexual, brown eyes, brown hair, morena skin, who loves anything art-related, astronomy, reading books, binge watching, music, styling my clothes (i’m stuck between kidcore, y2k, cottagecore and indie) and eating food (more than necessary). i’m a sarcastic twat who’s often misunderstood bc it’s basically my mother tongue, but i’m a nice person. INFP-T. and when it comes to relationships, i would love a guy who’s gonna be willing to put up with my impulsive bs sometimes lol, like sneaking out in the middle of the night to eat at the kitchens, watch movies together and dance like we’re the only ones left. he wouldn’t force anything out of me til he and i know that i’m ready. and i would rlly love if he would give me one or two of his hoodies, and he would spray them with his cologne bc he knows that i love the way he smells, and maybe sneak in a small note for me to read in the pockets. i love forehead and nose kisses, i’m a goner for those. pet names are one of my weaknesses, (love, lovely, darling, babe, baby)— and i’m yours. i’m not much of an affectionate person as i didn’t have much of it during my childhood, so simple handholding and hugs would make me a bit flustered and awkward but very much appreciated. (PFT- i just copy and paste this whenever i see a ship post <3)

Hey love, I’m sorry I’m just now getting to these, life’s been hard and I wasn’t feeling inspired and wanted to do this justice.

Thank you so much for celebrating with me!

I ship you with:

George Weasley

May I begin by saying just how much I love the name/nickname “Millie”, I just love it

Georgie does too

He likes to rhyme it with things to make up little nicknames if that makes sense

The less sense the nicknames make the better

“Millie Vanilli”

“Millie billy”

“My silly Millie”

He’s just overall a little bitch, “Millie would you hand me my quill-y?”

George gets your sarcasm, I feel like he’s less biting in his humor but he still can appreciate your sense of humor

He loves watching you style your clothing, he’ll just sit on your bed while you ransack your wardrobe looking for something and asking you what you’re doing

Will ask you to give him fashion shows after you go shopping or just because you want to because you’re feeling pretty

He’ll also ask you to give him a fashion show when you’re not feeling all that great because he knows that it’ll cheer you up, even just a little bit.

One day he lets you into his wardrobe and lets you completely redo it

When George is with you it’s like the rest of the world just falls away, he looks at you and you’re all he sees

You want someone who will put up with your bull? This man is perfect because he’s also very impulsive

He likes sneaking into your dorm and the middle of the night to tell you that the two are due for a little adventure

You guys have this little tradition where in the last week of school before summer where he sneaks into your bedroom and scoops you up and carries you down to the black lake where you go skinny dipping

The first time it was very spontaneous, it was sweltering and George couldn’t sleep so he came to come see you and you couldn’t sleep either

Every year after that it’s a different night in that last week because he likes to surprise you

This man towers over you

So nose kisses and forehead kisses are some of his favorite things

He’ll slip his hand under your jaw so that he can tilt your head up to kiss you

He loves putting you in his hoodies because you look so small and precious in them

The notes he leaves you in the pockets are little limericks about something that happened that day when he wrote the note

He also has a little notebook he carries around with him where he writes down the things that he wants to tell you during the day so that he doesn’t forget to tell you

Sometimes they’re rambling messes that curl and curve around the page trying to fit into a margin five times too small for what he’s trying to write but he’ll sit you down on a couch in the common you guys sit cross legged on the same couch facing each other while he tries to decipher what he wrote because he remembers it being really funny or interesting he just can’t remember exactly what it was

That usually ends with the two of you in tears you’re laughing so hard while you lay between his legs with your back pressed against his chest while you try to read his sloppy writing

He gets that you’re unfamiliar with physical touch which at first he’s a little confused by because he’s a Weasley and grew up with Molly but he’s 100% okay with taking it slow and going at your pace

He also thinks it’s really cute when you get flustered but never wants to make you uncomfortable

Ships are no longer open I’m just finally getting to them, thank you so much for 400!

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rocketcowboyblu · 3 years

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Hi! Hello it’s me again (PArdon me lmao)

Since I posted about the Lion king idea of presenting finn, Thought why not give an idea of the entire movie if yall wanna idk write it? Cause I cant write at all. Ignore the spelling and grammar errors Im trying my best. ANYWAY uh have fun reading this mess of an R.D? (Rough Draft)

Alright, its like 10 years or so after the prime invasion. The BFF Squad finished restoring magic to the universe and found out where Adora and Catra hail from, (Magicat hidden kingdom on ethiera, and adora on eternia etc.) Catra finds out shes magically pregnant and tells adora, adora is like “Holy shit were gonna be moms” SO like the dummy she is goes to glimmer and asks her permission to present her when the kit’s born. (cause its presumably from magicat culture idk u decide) Glimmer agrees and puts it on her to do lists cause yknow queen shit.

Months later, Finns Born. Swift wind like the annoying loyal steed he is, goes to inform the other princesses of the presentation. (Insert the Circle of life Music)

The princesses show up along with a bunch of other people cause It’s She-ra’s Heir/Kid. Anyway magicat queen comes and takes Finn and goes to present them (the balcony idk what part of brightmoon looks safe!?) presume the thrusting of them over a balcony.

Scorpia and Bow are holding each other crying over how cute finn is, Catra and adora are looking at finn feeling so proud and shit, Glimmer is just holding her head staring at these idiots wondering why she even let them live there.

ALRIGHT HERE COMES THE INSANITY.

Behind the scenes, Catra had been helping glimmer with advising and taking over the actual royal advisors job. The R.A aint happy that her job is being taken by a war criminal and fraternizing with Etheria’s Hero. SO With some rogue clones they build a plan to get rid of finn and catra.

FLASH FORWARD 7 TO 9 YEARS LATER.

Finn’s growing up and needs to learn the difference between play and work, the advisor tells finn that and suggests adora help them out. so Adora takes Finn out to the whispering woods to teach them about self defense and magic bonding with the planet.

DT strolls up cause their now Brightmoons babysitter (Much to their Utter Delight) and tells adora that theres some trouble in the LightZone (Frightzone) about clones. Finn wants to come but adora says no cause its dangerous, So DT offers to take finn cause they were gonna round up the Runestone kiddos for a playdate.

DT and Finn pick up the kids and they get into trouble. Finn has a whole inner monologue about cant wait to be a Hero or something to make adora let them come with em. Cue the Ditching of DT and the Runestone Kids find themselves lost in the whispering woods.

Rogue Clones find them and give chase with laser blasters. Catra finds DT tied up and explains the kids tricked DT and they hear laser fire. So they go and save the kids.

NOW catra’s a lil pissed and impressed cause Finn manged to trick DT but also left their sights. Catra gives a speech about how much trouble finns in but also quite impressed with their work and tells them that, they’ll show them how to really trick somebody (aka pranks)

Later that night the advisor and the rogue clones finally finish the plan to get rid of catra and finn.

A WEEK LATER. Spoiler alert its finn Bday (Oh god here comes the angst)

The R.A suggests a Royal family picnic. Glimmer, Micah, Bow, Glimbow kid, catra, adora, and finn go to the whispering woods cause theres a nice clearing the advisor has “Suggested.”

a mile or so away rogue clones had been herding up the wild beasts of the woods. (Yknow those hog creatures)

Catra and adora actually have a gift for finn but want it to be a suprise so they ask the advisor what to do, Advisor tells them that theyll take finn to a spot near the picnic and they can give them the gift there.

Advisor puts finn in a spot and then signals the clones.

The ground shakes, the trees start moving, BAM OUT comes running thousands of magic hogs. RUN

Finns on all fours running for their life, their panting and see a spot which they presume will keep them safe. It’s not safe at all.

Finn bolts into a canyon, and sees a high top rock that SURE LOOKS STABLE. They climb up it.

Back at the picnic advisor runs back to the crew, and tells them what happened, Catra goes haywire and starts bolting towards the canyon, Adora tells bow and glimmer to get help and grab the advisor and head towards finn.

Catra reaches the canyon first, she spots finn on the rock, Jumping down she goes running along in the herd til grabbing finn, Adora and the advisor are watching from the top, Catra is carrying finn and puts them on a platform of the canyon. Catra gets impaled by a running hogs horn, She goes down into the herd.

“CATRAAA!” Adora cries and jumps down into the herd as She-ra to save catra. Finn looks on in horror trying to spot adora and catra. Boom out jumps adora going up the slide, struggling to carry catras limp body.

Finn goes to climb their way out of the canyon.

Adora is holding catra tightly and is still climbing til she sees the Advisor looking down on them. “Here! Grab onto catra!” The advisor smiles sinisterly. “I’m Afraid I can’t do that adora..” Adora looks at them in confusion. “Goodbye my oldest enemy” The advisors eyes flash green. Adora’s eyes go wide. BAM a burst of magic hits adora causing her to fall with catra.

Finn screams in the distant.

The herd leaves. Its quiet. dust is still kicked up.

Finn looks at their parents bodies on the ground. Limp.

“M-mom’s?” They called out. Knees buckling they go to catra shaking her “Please you gotta get up...”

“What have you done...” The advisor voice tells them.

Finn looks them at in fear “I didn-” “Insolent child! Look at what have you done! You’ve robbed etheria of their greatest heros!” Finns ears fold back, tears flooding their face.

“Get out of here. If you ever show your face here again I’ll have the palace guards kill you” a bright ball of magic formed in the advisors hand.

Finn bolts. the advisor chuckles darkly, for it was only the beginning of a new era.

Bow and glimmer teleport to area. they spot their friends.

Glimmer shakes catra “Horde scum DONT YOU DARE-” Catra bolts up gasping and then groans in pain “well.. there goes one of my 9 lives.” catra looks around and sees adora. And now shes screaming at glimmer to heal her.

The advisor looks ready to run. Glimmer heals adora and adora stirs going “W-what happened?” catra fills her in (catra doesnt know about the advisor she was unconsious.) And they cant find finn. so now its depresso expresso time cause adora cant remeber what happened and where finn is.

LOL IHATE WRITING THIS ALREADY.

Alrighty alrighty. So finn gets lost in the crimson and find Lonnie and the horde kids. (they dont know its catra or adoras kid cause they burnt that bridge) they adopt em for protection and help with digging in the crimson waste mines for gems and whatever else. And finn dyes their hair blond and shaves it to hide their idenity in fear of the advisor.

8 or so years past. Finns like 17 and the horde kids r old LOL

Scorfumas kid stumbles upon finn and they go into conversation about what the hell happened. Finn tells em about how they killed their parents and how they werent allowed near brightmoon cause the advisor would kill them. Scorfumas kid then has to explain that the advisor was now running brightmoon into the ground using their grief to an advantage. Btw kyles singing can u feel the love cause he do be misintruptioning shit. fuckin kyle XD (Lonnie is gonna kill this fool)

LATER FINN LOOKS AT THE WOODS AND OUT COMES YA GURL RAZZLE DAZZLE! Madam razz goes into her time loops and yknow the deal, she goes “Catra is that you dearie?” Finns like “YOU KNOW MY MOM?!” anyway razz leads them to the abandoned fort of grayskull yack yack yeack. Razz tells them that evil comes from power, not from heart, remember who you are type of shit.

Finn finally decides to go home.

Back at brightmoon everythings horrible. its the works yknow? DT got stuck in the “Prison” cause of how they were sus of the advisor.

Just gonna shorten it cause this is so LONG. Finn shows up, catradora are in shock. advisor turns out is the leftover of PRIME so then finn and him fight. Finn wins and here comes one of the newest heros to etheria. GG end of AU LOL

Sorry I dont know what I just wrote. but yeah theres the gist of the idea if yall wanna steal and try to write this shitpost? idk lol thanks for coming to this ted talk

#shera #catra #adora #catradora #lion king au #finn #glimmer problems #bow is in the back crying about how cute it is #rough draft #idk i cant write #she ra fandom #she ra season five #she ra fanfic idea

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