#but like. in his case I do think it is at least somewhat deserved

[comradekatara]

long feng is actually really awesome. scheming qing dynasty imperial eunuch puppeting the king with his army of spies. but no one really gives a shit about him because he was immediately and ruthlessly undermined by a handful of kids and so he doesn’t seem nearly as cool as he should be. but it’s literally not his fault that sokka and aang and azula snatched his queue and came for his whole career. they were operating via different narrative mechanics and rules. but before those meddling kids came along and deposed him he was literally running an entire police state and manipulating everyone in the city with aplomb. evil viziers deserve love too you guys :(

#long feng #he also just has a smug rancid aura #but like. in his case I do think it is at least somewhat deserved #no one but me cares about kuei’s court but that’s okay #i will contemplate the imperial concubines and council of generals and such all by myself that’s FINE….

[xjulixred45x]

Platonic Yandere Kento Nanami x Adoptive Daughter!Reader

This was the Request of @yukiotacon i hope You like it!

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: female

Warnings: Yandere behavior, Overprotectiveness, isolation, past trauma (HAIBARA), unhealthy relationship, UNHEALTY MINDSET, some persecution, angry Nanami is a scary Nanami. I think that's all.

At first Nanami never thought he would be a father, with his line of work and how lethal it is, he did not believe he could even get married to start a family.

Although of course, that changed completely when you lived in his life.

You were the youngest daughter of a family that had been a victim of the curses, and a special girl at that, because you were able to see the curses before apparently, but your family had discarded them as imaginary friends of their infant daughter.

Thanks to this, they could not foresee the imminent danger and it cost them their lives.

to everyone except you.

When Nanami found you, all alone, crying for someone to help you, but still with innocence on your face... it awakened something in him.

(Haibara, you remind him a lot of Haibara, someone whose life and innocence were taken from him, he can't let them do the same to you)

Kento decided that he would take care of you, although to be honest, he knew there was something wrong with him at the time he decided.

but he honestly didn't care at that point.

That's how you ended up as his daughter. I tried to make you have a normal life, away from the curses, to make you forget about your bad experience, but some marks remained forever...

Nanami has mostly overprotective tendencies and is somewhat strict, but at the same time she is very aware that what she feels is WRONG.

So I have long insisted on having your life, yes, but away from the world of Sorcery.

He will tell you HORRIBLE anecdotes and stories of co-workers who died at work, the horrors of curses, everything to keep you away from that world.

He himself usually eliminates curses that appear near his house, so he will hardly teach you anything at first.

It is only when you start your high school years that you insist more on the topic of learning how to better deal with curses because, well, schools are full of them.

(Nanami begins to regret not having taught you at home but it's too late)

If you insist enough, you will finally get him to teach you the basics of cursed energy and thus be able to kill curses little by little.

honestly Nanami is a nice Platonic Yandere to have. in this special case at least.

As long as you don't do anything related to the world of Wizardry, he's almost like a normal father. Just a little paranoid and protective, but hey, what father of daughters isn't?

When Nanami is an office worker, this side of him is more noticeable, because although he is miserable with his job, he is more than happy to see you have a normal life as a NORMAL teenager. Coming home from work and finding yourself either arriving or leaving school is very rewarding.

He feels like he found a reason to live.

Even if Nanami is more manageable at this time, he is no less lethal to anyone who even remotely poses a threat to you.

Did you mention someone who followed you at school? no more.

Is a classmate teasing you at school and the teachers do nothing? Kento will talk to that person...

The same goes for people he considers a "bad influence" yup, he's that kind of father. It requires knowing your friends (or at least, their parents) to know if it is safe to leave you with them. If they don't pass his standards, you won't see them or hang out with them again.

He just don't want to lose you...

(^^MANIPULATION)

For this reason, he is quite undecided about whether to tell you about his return to the world of Jujutsu.

He KNOWS you're interested in Jujutsu even after all, but he doesn't want you to go down this hole with him.

You would eventually find out, he reasons, and if he were to die on the job, you DESERVE to know why after all.

whether he tells you or you find out, you find out and Nanami doubles down on his overprotective tendencies by 200%.

Your current year of high school is homemade, why? because Nanami no longer trusts that high-grade curses cannot appear where you study and you cannot defend yourself.

stay home where it is safe.

I can see him even installing (without telling you) a baby monitor somewhere in the house to make sure you're there all the time.

If Gojo finds out about you, Nanami would be soooo screwed. Gojo wouldn't stop pestering him to tell him things about you, but at some point Nanami explodes and threatens him VERY SERIOUSLY to rip his throat out if he breathes another word about you.

It startled Gojo a little to be honest.

I mean, he was used to annoying Nanami all the time, but seeing how he changed so drastically when he brought up a specific topic related to you...it was even terrifying.

what topic was it? Letting you go on quests as a Sorceress.

Nanami thought it was just a joke from Gojo (as always) but in reality the thing was... different.

You had gone for Gojo to give you some training secretly from Nanami when you saw that he clearly wouldn't give it to you.

and Gojo simply accepted because he thought it would be fun to see Nanami's reaction when he found out.

Gojo didn't think Nanami was AS bad as you made him out to be with the overprotectiveness, you were a teenager after all.

but now...he took it more seriously.

Satoru wanted to know if Nanami would be okay in a "hypothetical" case because even if it seemed funny at first, he didn't think that with everything Nanami had been through he shouldn't take his opinion into consideration.

Although in the end he decided that the best thing would be to send you for more experience and (hopefully) give Nanami a lesson in your capabilities.

NOW, when Gojo sends you on your missions, you are ecstatic, finally some action! Finally something different from your normal, monotonous life! It was great!

The hardest part was altering the monitor that you KNEW your father had left at home and fixing it before he arrived. A part of you tried not to feel bad about all this, but on the other hand, who in their right mind puts a MONITOR on their TEENAGE DAUGHTER?? You had valid points.

although it didn't last long...

Nanami knew there was something wrong with you and in general several things were happening simultaneously with that.

Nanami randomly lost control of the monitor she had left at home and only recovered the image even hours later.

and he could feel that every time you were with more... attitude? more challenging.

He HAD to know what was causing this rebellious phase in you that he KNEW it would get worse if he didn't stop it, maybe some guy? He will kill him,a bad influence friend? He will get rid of it, but he has to know.

and when he does that is when he sees you come out of a successful mission.

tired, with some scratches, with your energy damned at FULL and when both of you exchange glances....

you run.

And run, and run and run...

What else should you do? You weren't going to tell him this way! You didn't want to face it.

Besides, the dark look your father had before he realized you had seen him was...dark to say the least. You never thought you'd see your father like this.

although you also didn't expect to see him come after you with a new level of anger.

It looked like a wild animal going after you.

You tried to use the advice that Gojo had given you, but you found yourself overshadowed by your desperation, he was much faster than you...

You tried to take him near civilians, thinking that he wouldn't try anything with them around, but you were scared when you saw him take out his tool.

Was he REALLY going to use it!?? With so many people around!? It's leaving you without options.

You finally decided to go somewhere further away from the people for their safety, but at some point you lost Nanami from sight. no no no no where the hell did he go??

The only thing you remember before falling unconscious was thinking about how you left your teacher waiting.

and now here you are back, at home, with your "father" on another "normal" day.

The house now looked like a military fort when you woke up, with an anklet on it.

despite all the turbidity of the matter. You just wanted to know something from your father. The WHY of all this, what makes it worth it?

His answer sounded both crazy and made a lot of sense, at the same time that you understood something...

that he just wanted to protect you at all costs, he has already lost so many people in his life for that reason, he refuses to lose you too...

He will never leave you.

Shares, reglogs, and comments are very welcome!

Thanks for the Request ❤️❤️❤️

#headcanons #fem reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu no kaisen #yandere platonic #platonic reader #platonic yandere #nanami kento #jjk nanami #platonic yandere nanami #yandere nanami #yandere nanami x reader #platonic nanami

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook/ Platonic!Ot6

The Twilight State | TEASER

There's a place for everyone, somewhere out there.

Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Alien!Bangtan, Platonic!ot6 x Reader, romantic!Jungkook x Reader, cold climate, a lot of physical affection/contact, angst, romance, fluff, more warnings TBA

Length: ???

There is no taglist for this fic.

━━━━━━━━━━.~°👽°~.━━━━━━━━━━━

"She was used as bait, in that case." Yoongi dryly explains. "Gives an explanation as to how she survived an attack. Vrax don't eat humans- but other groups use them as distraction to avert attention anyways in case they encounter them along the way." He says.

"That's horrible.." jimin whines, watching how further away at the pitiful fire, Jungkook tries to help move you. "Well, at least she got away.."

"She most likely won't survive." Namjoon hums darkly, having seen you after all. "We don't know how long she's been out here, but her state is more than worrisome." He shakes his head.

"We should at least bring her to another town-" Taehyung wonders.

"For what? So that we'll be excluded from trading because we brought another mouth to feed instead of anything valuable?" Yoongi snaps. "We can't afford that. The long night is approaching, we shouldn't be stopping in the first place.." he argues.

"I doubt he'll give her up like that." Hoseok sighs. "He seems very attached already.."

"Then he'll have to detach himself quickly." Namjoon agrees with his other friend. "We can't afford to care for her." He shakes his head.

Jungkook, meanwhile, is busy fastening some rope around the blankets he'd rolled you up in, in no way thinking about just leaving you here all by yourself. He knows what it's like to be left alone and behind just because you're considered nothing but weight- he won't be letting you feel that. You deserve a place and group just as much as he did, back then.

Your eyes are barely open as you look at him, now all bundled up in multiple blankets. "You.. probably won't understand what I'm saying, but I'll bring you to the carriage now." He tells you. You want to answer, want to tell him that you do, somewhat, understand him- but you're just too tired. You can't really even think very well- as if your thoughts are about to freeze, everything slow as he turns around and moves you onto his back to be carried towards the large carriage.

"Jungkook- do not get your hopes up with her." Yoongi tries, but Jungkook shakes his head as he lays you down where he usually sleeps.

"I'm not. I'm aware of what might happen." He says, shutting the entrance. "But she deserves to have a chance." He worries. "And even if she's too far gone, no one should die alone." Jungkook shakes his head, sitting close to you, Jimin placing another blanket over you.

"…Let's go then, for now, so we don't fall behind any further." Namjoon sighs. "We'll need all the time we can gain to bury her appropriately later." He simply informs Yoongi, who moves to sit up front with Taehyung, to control the reigns and move the carriage again.

And Jungkook watches you with worry, hoping that you won't need a burial.

Hoping that you'll stay.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts smut #bts jungkook imagine #jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook x reader #bts jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagines #bts jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook drabble #alien jungkook #alien!jungkook

[littelestvic]

About the Damon Baker x Kris Gustin photo session and what it means to me as a queer artist obsessed with Joker Out

Note, this is not me trying to look smart and trying to talk about someone else's art pieces, although my dearest Daria made a small analysis on the Kris-Bojan set that I found very interesting, and it is interesting that these are a somewhat subjective views of Bojan and Kris's souls, or at least a visual representation of themselves as people. In any case, this is, if anything, an overview of what these art pieces make me feel and their significance to me.

First I must admit, as an artist, that these photos are beautiful and actually hold a lot of artistic value from my perspective. I think these should be seen as pieces of art and must be perceived in a different way than other Joker Out photos. However it is still very interesting how much these photos actually talk about the subject: these pieces are an exploration of Kris Gustin, the person portrayed, and I've honestly never have seen portraits that explore the nature of the subject in such a personal manner. Kris is displayed in a subjective, intimate way, whether how Damon sees him or how Kris himself sees himself deep down. I'm sure more elaborate and accurate explanations of Damon's art can be found online, as I actually didn't know of his work until now, but as I was able to read he focus a lot on the intimacy of the subject.

Anyways, there's a clear theme this session follows: femeninity and vulnerability. The usage of visible makeup (a first time for Kris on camera if I'm aware), the flowers, the exposed skin, the cloth (a typical femenine piece of clothing on Balkan/Slavic cultures), I think they were all choices to purposefully provide a more femenine vision of Kris. But he still allows himself to do poses similar to those I've seen him do before, there's still a hint of the Kris I know, his posing flows naturally and doesn't feel forced because this is just a natural extension of what he is, this is a natural exploration of his most femenine side, he is simply letting himself flow.

I think we all know Kris seems to be a man with a complex relationship with normative gender roles. Even as a cishet man he has this appearance and mannerisms that can be more related to a more "femenine" convention of gender and I have always wondered if he has ever struggled with this, and that if he has ever felt forced to keep the normative conventions of what a man should be. Things like asking to have his hair cut shorter after being called a girl when he was a child, or denying to be put makeup on by fans, he sometimes tried to run away from things that could be perceived as "feminine", maybe out of insecurity, maybe out of fear.

But there he is,

Glitter on his eyes,

Flower in his head,

Embracing himself.

I am a person with a complex relationship with gender roles. I was born a woman. I am short and tiny and have feminine features that simply cannot be ignored. I will forever be perceived as a woman by the people around me. I look like a girl, I have long hair because I am not allowed to have it short and I wear women's clothes. And while I don't want to be a girl, my relationship with femininity is actually very strong. I like pretty things, I like sparkles and pink, I like everything girly, I like girls. I've been told it's stupid to perceive myself as a guy since I look so girly, since I like so many girly things, and in times I don't feel I have deserved the masculine pronouns I use and my neutral name I've given myself (the ones I can only use online out of fear).

So I try to put some sense into it. I draw girly things because I like girly things. I draw men because I want to be like men. I draw men in pretty soft pinks and sparkles and sequins because that's what I am.

And I've found a safe place in Kris, with his non conforming masculinity that more often than not becomes femininity. As many other people like me, I like him because he helps me put sense to my feelings. I draw him in soft pastels and pretty clothes and delicate features because in my mind, if a man like him can be allowed to be femenine, then I can allow myself to feel the way I feel too. I can allow myself to simply not fit any binary gender convention, and I can allow myself to be myself. I like Kris because I find a part of me in himself, I relate to him and I see myself in his eyes. It is a complex relationship where I don't necessarily like him because I find him attractive, I am not actually sexually attracted to him; I see myself in him, in my own little weird way. I have distorted my own reality to make my own perception of him fit my needs. This is why I draw him the way I draw him. And perhaps that's why so many praise how I draw Kris. It is unique because it's personal. And I know he doesn't necessarily see himself this way, at least not in the degree I do. My Kris talks much more about how I see myself than how I see him. The way I draw Kris represents myself. My Kris is myself.

So when I saw him in this session, with the glimpse and the passion and the attitude I draw him like, it felt special.

"He looks like my art" I told myself. "He's seen himself the way I see him."

This is Kris,

This is my Kris,

This is me.

So I'm very thankful for Kris trying to open himself, and embracing this vulnerable side of him I purposefully push into the narrative of my art. He called these "therapy sessions", so I can't help but wonder if these have been helpful to him, if he has found something about him, if he has learnt to accept himself the way he is. He has helped me cope with complicated subjects of my life, and I cling to him to keep with life. He is my special little obsession that keeps me alive. So I can't help but sometimes wonder if he's happy, If he's loved, if he's content with himself.

And I think this exploration of himself will be very helpful to his soul. I am very proud of him, I am hopeful for his future, and I wish him the best.

I love you, my muse, and thank you for allowing yourself to see you with my own eyes.

#joker out #joker out fanart #kris gustin

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Congratulations on the new milestone, my dear Scarlet! For the celebration, I want to ask Spencer x Reader with Home by Goo Goo Dolls (I adore this song!). Love you!

Hello lovely! I originally had this written and queued to post but 12 hours later I decided I hated it. I adore you and your writing and you deserved better, so this my second attempt! Also I had an urge to write a 5+1 fic.

Send me a song lyric from my list to celebrate my follower milestone 🎵

Home

Gif does not depict the appearance of the reader.

Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Summary - The five times Spencer took you home and the one time he needed you to return the favour.

CW - drinking, drunk reader, vague hint at a spicy activities but nothing explicit, slight argument, break up, mentions of the Lynch case and hospitals, make ups.

WC - 4.3k

One 

The aggressively roaming rainbow coloured lights that revolved around the room, lighting up previously dark corners at a moments notice. 

The heavy thrumming of the bass-heavy music that shook the walls and vibrated the floor, up through the soles of his feet and into his bones. 

The thick crowds of sweaty, inebriated bodies constantly bumping into one another, bumping into him and encroaching dangerously on the germaphobe's personal space. 

The expensive cover charge and even more extorinante drink prices which made him glad for once that he didn’t drink. 

The constant goading from his friends to loosen up and have some fun, or at least try to look like you’re enjoying yourself. 

Those were just five of a hundred reasons that Spencer Reid deplored clubs. 

Usually he would avoid them like the plague, but tonight it was Emily’s birthday and she’d all but demanded he come along with the rest of the team. 

A crowded room full of empty faces. Conversations filled with lies. Another night with all his friends, wondering if they saw through his thinly veiled disguise. 

He clung to the sidelines like the wallflower he was and after a socially acceptable amount of time had passed, he offered his apologies to the birthday girl and said goodbye. 

And that could have been the end of his night. 

Pushing open the front door he sucked in a huge breath of fresh air the second his feet hit the pavement. The air in the club had been stifling, alcohol mixed with perspiration had overwhelmed his fragile senses. 

He felt dirty. He needed to go home and take a long, hot shower. 

But as he turned to head down the street, conveniently Emily had chosen a club just a few blocks from his apartment, he stopped in his tracks when he found a body slumped on the ground. 

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He was an FBI agent and he was also a gentleman and he couldn’t in good conscience leave a woman alone like this. 

No matter how much he wanted to go home.  

He cautiously stepped closer to the woman, who was leaning against a wall, legs drawn up for which a head rested upon. It didn’t take a genius to figure the woman was drunk. 

“Excuse me, miss? Uh, are you ok?” He asked with a frown as he approached. 

Your head snapped backwards, narrowly avoiding slamming into the wall and you looked up at him with large, misty eyes. 

“Hmm? Me? I’m fine.” You nodded, proffering your hands towards him. “Little help? 

Spencer rolled his lip between his teeth, wanting to avoid any more unnecessary contact with strangers tonight but you clearly needed help. 

Somewhat reluctantly he reached out and took hold of your hands, pulling you to your feet with absolutely no help on your part. 

You stumbled a little but managed to correct yourself before Spencer had to intervene. You looked up at him through your lashes, the moonlight overhead reflecting on your irises.

“You’re really pretty.” Your lip quirked into a smile and Spencer���s stomach coiled into knots. 

He’d been thinking the exact same thing about you. 

“Uh, thanks?” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Where do you live? I can get you a cab?”

“Oh, you know.” You shrugged, wobbling on your feet. 

“No, no I don’t. We just met, remember?” He was frowning up as your eyes cast up and down the street as if you were searching for your own home. 

“Around here somewhere. I think.” You nodded, but then added, “where are we?” 

Spencer exhaled between parted lips, knowing he couldn’t leave you to fend for yourself. And despite his better judgement, he spoke anyway. 

“I live round the corner, you can crash at my place until you sober up.” 

“You’re going to take me home, pretty boy?” You winked suggestively at him and he couldn’t help the way he felt his crotch stir. 

“Not like that!” He quickly shook his head. “I just…just come with me.” 

It was slightly concerning how easily you followed a complete stranger home. Maybe he’d have to give you a lecture on the dangers of it in the morning. 

But for now, you slung your arm around his waist, something he would normally hate but found he rather enjoyed when you did it, and he led you home. 

***

Spencer slept on the couch and let you take his bed with very little protest from you. He was already awake and reading a book when you emerged wearing nothing but an old t-shirt of his he’d lent you last night. 

You were squinting against the onslaught of light in the room, hand cradling the side of your head. Your eyes landed on him and your eyebrows knitted together. 

“Uh…hi?” You croaked, grimacing in the pain caused simply by speaking. 

“Good morning.” Spencer set his book down and got to his feet but he didn’t come any closer to you. 

“Did we…?” You trailed off hoping he would catch your drift. 

He didn’t. 

“Did we, what?” 

“Sleep together?” 

“What?” He squeaked, his cheeks instantly flushing bright red. “No! You were wasted.” 

“That wouldn’t stop most men.” You shrugged sadly.

“I’m not most men.” He shrugged too. “You were drunk and I didn’t want to just leave you on the street so I let you crash here.” 

“Wow.” You nodded, eyes sparking a little. “Maybe there are some good guys left in the world.” 

“I try.” He shrugged once more. 

“What’s your name? I’m sorry I don’t remember.” You padded a little closer to him. 

“Oh, we didn’t get around to exchanging names. I was too busy trying to stop you bumping into everything I own.” He offered you a tight lipped smile. “I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.” 

“Y/N.” You stepped closer and when you offered him your hand to shake, he didn’t even think twice about it. 

***

Two

“And I realised I hadn’t had company in…five years? So I thought I better at least crack a window.” He was rambling, god help him he was rambling. 

You leant against the dining table with an ever growing smirk on your lips as he awkwardly spat out words, clearly not noticing your amusement. 

“I guess I should feel privileged?” You cocked your eyebrow at him. “Five years, huh?”

The way in which he said the word company, told you exactly what he meant. Obviously he’d had people around his place, you’d been here not a few months ago yourself. 

But he hadn’t had company. Company of a woman in his bed. And as if to prove this, a blush crept up his neck and onto his cheeks which told you the answer before he spoke. 

“Yeah.” He chewed on his lip, feeling as though he needed to explain himself. “I throw myself into my work. I’m busy, you know? And even when I’m not I, uh…I’m not very good at talking to women, in case that wasn’t abundantly clear. And women don’t tend to gravitate towards me. So yeah, it’s been five years since I…you know.” 

God this was mortifying. 

It was your fifth date and the first time he’d invited you over since he’d helped you out when you were drunk. You’d been for dinner and when he’d suggested you come home with him, his intentions had been clear even if he hadn’t meant them to be. 

“That’s freaking adorable. I really do feel special.” Your smile grew.

“Adorable? Great, just what every man wants to hear from the woman he wants to…” he trailed off. 

“Wants to…what?” You took a step or two closer to him. 

“I think it’s safe to say you know exactly what I mean.” His blush deepened with each step closer you got. 

“For argument's sake, let’s say I don’t.” You were really close to him now, your arms snaking up and around his neck. 

“Come any closer and you’ll likely find out.” He croaked, somehow getting even redder. 

You smirked, pushing your body flush against his and quickly ascertaining just what he meant. 

He was hard, straining against his slacks and his erection pressed against you now, showing you what he was talking about. 

You giggled a little, edging your face closer to his, feeling his breath on your face. Just as you were about to press your lips against his, giving over to the sexual tension between the two of you, you were disturbed by the sound of his phone ringing. 

“Goddamnit.” He growled, pulling back from you and fishing his phone out of his pocket. Garcia. “I’ve gotta take this, I’m so sorry.” 

Spencer had never cared less about serial killers and murders in his life. He just hoped he would have another chance to take you home. 

***

Three 

Spencer grumbled as the ringing of his phone roused him from sleep. He was used to it by now, used to work dragging him from his bed in the middle of the night. So he was surprised to say the least when he saw your name on the screen. 

He panicked for a second as he brought the device to his ear and answered it. 

“Y/N?” He sat up in bed, pulling the duvet up to his chin. 

“Hey, Spence.” You replied. 

It had been almost a month since work had rudely interrupted your alone time and the two of you hadn’t seen each other since. You’d talked mostly through text but Spencer had started to get the impression he’d blown his chance with you. 

“It’s three am, is everything ok?” 

“Yeah, I just…can’t sleep.” You shrugged. “I hope it’s ok that I called.”

“Y/N, believe me when I say you could wake me up from half a world away and I’d be grateful.” 

“Can I…” you sighed shakily. “Can I come over?” 

“Always.” He was quick to reply. 

“Ok.” You nodded to yourself. “I’ll be over soon.” 

“I’ll be waiting.” He smiled, before hanging up the phone. 

***

This time when you came into his home, when you went to kiss him, there was no interruption. In fact there was no intrusion of work calling him all night long. 

It gave him the time he needed to worship every inch of you, to show you what a goddess he thought you until the sun was peeking in through the crack in the curtains. It was without a doubt the best night of Spencer’s life and by the time he was through he never wanted you to leave again. 

A house was just four walls but he now realised his home was wherever you were. 

At some point that night, somewhere in between the sheets, he gave his heart to you. And he never wanted you to give it back. 

***

Four

His apartment had never felt more like a home than when you were in it. But even after the night you’d spent together he still felt nervous asking you over.

Maybe he worried that now you’d had sex you would think it was all he wanted from you which couldn’t be further from the truth. 

But even still, when he picked you up from work on Friday, one of his rare days off, he felt scared to invite you round. 

“So what’s the plan tonight, Doc?” You asked with a bright smile as you slid into the passenger’s seat of his car. 

“Uh, I was thinking we could get take out and watch some movies. At my place. If you’d like that? We can go out though, if you’d prefer. I don’t mind.” He smiled awkwardly at you. 

“Why would I want to go out when I can have you all to myself at your apartment?” You gave him a mischievous look that caused his pants to tighten. 

“You…you really want that?” He swallowed. 

“I really want that.” You giggled, patting his knee and sending a jolt of electricity through his whole body. “Come on then Doc, take me home.” 

***

Take out and movies quickly became a long forgotten memory when you were climbing into his lap on the couch and stealing his attention away from the TV. 

Your knees either side of his thighs, you wrapped your arms around his neck and played with a stand of his curls. 

“You really are deliciously pretty, have I told you that before?” You gently rocked back and forth in his lap, feeling him growing aroused. 

“The night we met, you called me pretty.” A blush spread to his cheeks. 

Was he going to blush every time the two of you started to get intimate?

“Did I?” You laughed. “I can’t say I remember. But you are. Very, very pretty.” 

“And you are beautiful, my love.” He whispered, a gentle smile on his lips. 

He closed the space between you and kissed you, causing you to hum against his lips, whilst continuing to playfully grind down into his lap. 

You didn’t make it to the bedroom, didn’t even remove your clothes. Spencer simply shucked your dress out of the way and moved your panties aside while you moved his slacks just enough for his member to be freed. 

By some stroke of luck the BAU didn’t pull a case all weekend and you didn’t leave the confines of his apartment for two full days. 

You spent a blissful forty eight hours eating junk food, watching movies and having Spencer read to you along with making love in just about every inch of his abode. 

By the time Sunday night rolled around you had to physically drag yourself away from him so you could go back to your own apartment. Spencer was just as reluctant to see you go. 

“It’s not the same here without you.” He spoke as you kissed him in his doorway. “It only feels like home when you’re here.” 

You agreed wholeheartedly. 

You’d fallen head over heels with Spencer in no time at all and being with him in his apartment, you’d never felt more at home. 

Maybe one day you’d be able to share it. But for now you had to leave, despite everything inside of you begging you to stay. 

***

Five

Between both of your busy work schedules, it left little time for the two of you to be together. Every time Spencer was dragged away on a case he missed you more than the last, usually less than a hundred miles from you but feeling like a million.

You spoke on the phone whenever he was away, the shattered light transmitting your voice but being so far away, you sometimes didn’t have a choice. All you wanted was for him to come take you home again. 

After weeks of missing each other, whilst working a local case, he received a phone call from a number he didn’t recognise. He’d been staring at a map pinned to the board in the round table room at Quantico well into the early hours of the morning, when the phone buzzed in his pocket. 

It was your best friend, he’d heard a lot about her but never met her. It had instantly sent up a red flag which was warranted because she went on to tell him you were drunk and refused to go home unless Spencer was the one taking you.

Emily had been extremely gracious and let him go, he thanked her profusely as he’d run out of the door. He drove downtown as quickly as he could to the bar your friend had told him you were at. 

On arrival you had thrown yourself in his arms, giggling wildly and repeating in a slurred voice, you came, I knew you would. Come take me home, Spence.

It wasn’t until the morning that you regretted this decision entirely.

Much like that first morning you found Spencer on his couch and your head throbbed angrily. He looked much less awkward than he had that first time though, if you weren’t mistaken you would think he looked annoyed. 

He stood up and exhaled noisily through his nose and shook his head a little. 

“I was at work.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Right in the middle of trying to catch an unsub who is terrorising DC. You can’t…you can’t have your friends call me when I’m working, Y/N. I shouldn’t just leave my team in the middle of a case to come and pick you up when you’re drunk.” 

“They’re always going to come first, aren’t they?” You surprised him with your words. 

“What? Who?” 

“Serial killers. Your team. I barely see you because you’re always working.” 

“You knew what I did for a living before we started dating. My job is my life.” He shrugged. 

“And there’s no room in that life for someone else.” Your lip quivered slightly. 

“I didn’t say that.” He dropped his arms to his sides. 

“You didn’t need to.” You whispered. “I don’t think this is going to work out, Spencer. I need more from a relationship than you can offer.” 

“No, don’t say that.” He whined. “Please, please don’t say that.” 

“I’m sorry.” You shrugged sadly. “I am crazy about you Spencer, but when I love someone I love them with my entire being, they become my whole world. And I have to be theirs too.” 

“You…you love me?” He gasped slightly, feeling his chest tighten. 

“Of course I do.” You sniffed. 

“I love you too, Y/N. You are my whole world.” He took a few steps towards you but you held your hands up to stop him coming too close.

“No, Spencer. The BAU is your whole world. I’m sorry, I have to go.” You moved past him hurriedly towards the front door. 

“Y/N, please don’t do this.” He tried to reach for you but you slipped by him. “Y/N!” 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” You sobbed as you threw the door open and fled. 

Spencer stared at the closed door, eyes welling with tears. He stumbled a little, before collapsing on the couch. 

The walls of his apartment felt like they were closing in on him, making the already small room feel tinier under the weight of your absence. 

For a while these walls had started to feel like a home. But now you’d left it was nothing but bricks and mortar. 

***

One 

Months passed and you ignored every single one of Spencer’s phone calls. And he felt utterly lost without you. 

He threw himself into his work more so than ever, getting a little more invested in the Lynch case than he needed to. 

When he’d sent up the order for the cops to breach the house, his head hadn’t been clear and as such he hadn’t figured it out until it was too late. 

As the explosion sounded all around him and he flung backwards to the concrete, his mind was still awash with thoughts of you. 

And he’d know when he hit the floor, debris raining down around him. 

He’d known when he’d collapsed after returning to his apartment and started convulsing. 

He’d known when he’d woken up in hospital and you weren’t there by his bedside like he wished you were. 

He’d known when Emily came to visit him, exactly what he needed to do. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” She smiled sadly at him as she meandered to his bed. 

“Kinda like I got blown up.” He shrugged. “I’m ok, or at least I will be. I, uh, I realised something. Just as the explosion went off and I was sent flying, I realised something.”

There was a calmness about him that Emily didn’t think she’d ever seen on him. He looked at peace, eerily content. 

She took hold of his hand, already knowing exactly what it was he was going to say. 

“You’re leaving the BAU, aren’t you?” She whispered. 

“How’d you know?” He cocked an eyebrow at her. 

“I just do.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “You seem like a man who’s come to terms with a really hard decision, but one that you feel lighter for making.” 

“I hate it when you profile me.” He rolled his eyes playfully. 

“It’s not profiling, it’s just knowing my friends.” She chuckled. “So what’s her name?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Don’t even think about lying to me, Reid. For a while you were happier than I’d ever seen you. And then the last few months you’ve been struggling. You met someone and presumably it ended because of the job? Now that’s profiling.” She smirked. 

“One of the many reasons I am not going to miss you guys.” He joked. “Her name is Y/N and you’re spot on. Emily, does it make me a complete idiot for giving up my life’s work for a shot at love?” 

“Not at all.” She was quick to answer. “You’ve been through a tremendous amount of trauma in your life, Spencer. It’s about time you got some sunshine after so many years of black clouds. As long as you think she’s worth it, it’s not stupid at all.” 

“She’s…” he sighed contentedly trying to think of the right way to word it and only coming up with one simple term to describe you. “She’s like coming home.” 

“I’m happy for you.” She gave his hand a final squeeze before letting go. “The doctor said you should be discharged tomorrow. I’ll make sure someone’s here to pick you up.” 

“Thanks Emily. I’ll bring my badge and firearm back once I’m back up on my feet.” 

“No rush. Get some rest.” She smiled as she left the room, already pulling her phone from her pocket and dialling a familiar number. 

Penelope Garcia answered on the second ring. 

“How is he?” She hurried to ask. 

“He’s good, on the mend.” Emily nodded to herself. “I need you to find a number for me Penelope and I need you to not ask me why.” 

***

The following day Spencer was discharged but no one had to come to his room for him. 

He dressed in the clean clothes JJ had dropped by last night and signed his hospital papers just as his phone chimed within an incoming text. 

📱 Emily Prentiss: Your ride is waiting for you out front. Time to go home. 

He frowned at the slightly cryptic message as a nurse came in with a wheelchair to take him downstairs. 

He tried to fight it but he didn’t have the energy and so, despite the fact it made him feel feeble, he allowed her to wheel him out. 

In the elevator, he sent a reply to Emily. 

📲 Any hints as to who I’m looking for?

No sooner had he hit send, a reply came in. 

📱 Emily Prentiss: Nope. All I’ll say is: you’re welcome. 

He didn’t have much time to dwell on it as soon the elevator reached the ground floor and he was being wheeled out into the parking lot. 

It was a good job he was sitting down because when he spotted you standing a little awkwardly by your car, his legs immediately started to tremble. 

You spotted him and offered him a shy wave as the nurse took him over. When they reached you, she helped him out of the chair and handed him his duffel bag but was soon leaving again. 

Spencer regarded you curiously as you toyed with your hands in obvious discomfort. 

“Emily called you.” He smiled apologetically at you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t ask her to.”

“I know, she said you had no idea and that you’d probably kick her ass if you did.” A smile played on your lips. “I can’t imagine you kicking anybody's ass.” 

“No, but I seem to continually getting mine kicked.” He gestured vaguely to his injuries. 

“She told me what happened. Are you ok?” Concern laced your words. 

“I will be.” He nodded. “I really am sorry she dragged you here. I can get a cab.”

“Spencer?” You stepped closer to him, gnawing on your lip. “Did you leave the BAU because of me?” 

“Yes.” He nodded. “I mean also, it was time. I’m getting older and I can’t keep winding up in hospital beds. But ultimately, losing you was worse than losing my job. And it might be too little too late but I am choosing you. If you’ll still have me.” 

You tilted your head to the side a little, reaching out your hands and taking hold of the lapels of his shirt. You took a second to just breathe him in, relish in the moment of being reunited with the only man you’d ever truly loved. 

“Spence, I have done nothing but miss you for months. I never expected you to quit the BAU, I just wanted to know you saw me as a priority. And I see now that you do. I love you and I am also choosing you.” 

“Oh thank god.” He breathed out heavily, chuckling as he did so. “I love you so much.”

With that you drew him closer by his collar and slammed your lips against his. His arms immediately wrapped around you, holding you close and afraid to ever let you go too far again. 

The kiss was tender and loving, all your feelings for one other being spoken silently against each other's lips. 

When you pulled back, he stroked back your hair and he was giving you the kind of smile that could light up the whole damn world.

“So where’d you wanna go, Doc? My place or yours?” 

“How about we go to my place? Only from now on we call it our place?” He knew it was soon, probably way too soon. He could have very well ruined things again before they had a chance to begin. “I tried to be so strong, but you see the cracks. My defence is gone. I want to take you home for good.” 

His house was just four walls. It wasn't a home unless you were there. 

Slowly your lips curled up into a smile, one that reached all the way to your eyes. 

“Sounds good to me.” You nodded, placing another chaste kiss to his lips. “Come take me home, Doc.” 

#milestone celebration #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

[hastyprovocateur]

I have seen many calling Akemi an annoying brat for running away from her father's guardianship. And I laud their critical thinking abilities on this because really, why would a girl whose father is forcing her to marry a stranger openly known for being a sadist and killing his first wife over an unhappy marriage want to do anything but jump gleefully into the union, right? Especially when all Akemi's father has to say for her life-or-death situation is "Hey learn these sex positions and keep him happy like your dead mother kept me happy lol."

Akemi loved Taigen for a set of reasons. First and foremost, he was the path she chose and finally got her father to agree with in part for his honorable stature, aware that Taigen, though imperfect, isn't as cruel or selfish as men in said period typically were. You have to understand that women were rarely afforded the choice to love without having underlying motivations. They have to choose the lesser of evils. Which in this case, is Taigen. Akemi has far greater chances of survival with him than any other man she knew. Marriage wasn't a tic-tac-toe game for her, she was ensuring her survival. To ensure she wouldn't get violated or killed or tortured or forcefully impregnated for not falling into the narrow set of rules aristocratic women especially had to follow.

Come to Taigen and Mizu's duel following which he loses his honour and possibly his engagement. Akemi stayed undeterred because regardless of what Taigen felt about his honour, Akemi didn't have a backup option that she knew would ensure her security as much as being with Taigen would. She tells him that his chonmage being cut is no obstacle as he can style it to suit other noble men, that she will convince her father to maintain their engagement and that his honour was intact as Mizu hadn't officially challenged him. Her sexual advances are a calculated move, she narrates to him a version of events where he defeats Mizu to massage his bruised ego. And while Taigen is her singular route out of her imminent marriage to a stranger, Taigen, ignorant of the same, claims he'd rather commit seppuku and sets out to trail Mizu.

With Taigen gone, she is in deep water, and naturally, her father quickly sets her up with a fresh suitor from a family he chose for the sake of furtherance of his political expansion over any concern for his daughter's life. When she tries to escape, Seki sees it as another funny haha situation, making it a teachable moment where he profoundly tells Akemi, already fearful of her bodily autonomy and life: that a woman has 2 paths "to be an improper whore or a proper wife." To which Akemi very wisely responds that they are one and the same thing, only one is shrouded with aristocratic niceties and huge houses that women are an extension of. Regardless of her (father's) wealth, status, and relative comfort in life, no woman deserves to be put in a position of ownership under a man, vulnerable to assault, coercion, intimidation just because "at least she'll be assaulted on a nice bed."

Akemi wasn't enjoying her round trip searching for Taigen, selling herself out to flesh traders and getting betrayed by Seki, her confidante, for funsies. Seki had seen her plight and only given her the singular choice to be a proper wife to a stranger after Taigen had already left her to her own fate. She was still determined to do right by him because she wanted to live. Her seeking out Mizu was key to saving her marriage. Thereby trying to drug and bring Mizu to Taigen so she could restore his honor and go back on their engagement and live somewhat peacefully. Which we now know wasn't going to ever be because Daichi Tokunobu had already schemed to compromise the Shogunate by wagering his daughter as an alliance.

I am convinced that most people can't understand complex female characters outside of "ruthless. fighter" or "perfect victim." Akemi's fault, it seems, that through her process of running from a dangerous marriage, a callous father, getting brokered by Goro, joining Kaji's brothel, seducing her first client, trying to subdue Mizu is that she didn't get brutally violated in any of scenarios. Because I'm sure if she had, not half of y'all would be crying about her being annoying and bratty or "having it too easy." As for her trying to attack Mizu, what else was she supposed to do? Be told that this stranger robbed her fiance's honor, ruined their engagement, and killed him, and what? Pat him on the back? Or was she supposed to have a prophetic vision that Mizu is going to save them from Hamata's men?

And no she did not resort to name calling, abusing, threatening after she was tied down, she was far more benign in assessing Mizu's disposition as opposed to Mikio or Taigen who straight up called Mizu monster, dog, beggar, scavenger and what not. Mikio sold Mizu's favourite horse to get back at her, abandoned her for the bounty hunters to get her, killed her mama. Taigen was a bully who accused her of digging through his trash and near damn killed her with a rock with his friends. Yeah, him being a kid makes no difference to the one who was traumatised because that'll last Mizu a lifetime. In both cases Mizu posed no threat to them as opposed to Akemi who truly believed that Mizu had killed her fiancé.

Taigen continued to be a bully in the present time (growth in latter eps aside), calling Mizu a dog, monster boy, whore mother, scavenger of Kohama's gutters, reminding her of her house burning down. He stalked her, threatened her to duel, gave her consistent trauma reminders. Oh btw- Akemi called Mizu "nothing special" and "angry" and yall decide she has mentally abused this woman after knowing her for a good 3 hours. Yall fr just hate women.

She didn't know about Kinuyo either, or anything about Mizu's past. Despite only knowing her in the worst way, she largely softens towards Mizu knowing she's helping save Kaji's workers. She could've easily stayed tight and comfy in the cellar. She doesn't know a thing about fighting yet stands by Ringo and later saves him. Not for her sake because she says "Now they have to get through the both of us." She didn't fear death either, only being helpless. "I'm not brave" she said "I've been a captive my whole life. If I die today, I die free."

She didn't stop there "Mizu can't possibly hold them all off" and then goes up to save Mizu when the assassins attested that "The samurai has been cornered." And yes Mizu was unconscious from being choked until Akemi intervened. She just had to stay low like the others and not give a FUCK, especially not Mizu, someone who shittalked her as far as she knew, but she did because she saw the honour in Mizu's actions.

Unfortunately, Akemi didn't magically mind read Mizu's ptsd and all the flashbacks she's been getting about her past betrayals, what happened with Kinuyo and made the mistake of trusting Mizu, WHO SHE THINKS IS A MAN, to fight for her when the guards come. All but 3 men. This isn't about numbers because Mizu totaled an army and has the plot armour of Jesus, it's not about being innocent, because Mizu killed that clawed dude she spared initially, not to mention Kinuyo who was just a means to get to Fowker. And some people talked about Mizu not wanting Daichi's men coming after her... um... are you sure you're watching the same show because as far as I know Mizu doesn't give a flying FUCK about being careful or who comes after her because she's recklessly creating collateral all down her path of revenge. That's the wholeass point.

Akemi wasn't ordering Mizu around, cuz she asked "I'm not going anywhere, right Mizu?" She wanted her approval, her support in that moment. To fight for her because she doesn't have the agency to fight for herself. What did Mizu do in this crucial moment? She doomed Akemi to an arranged marriage and made her choice FOR her. Especially being someone who's always been shown to do exactly what she wants and then fight whatever consequences come her way.

Mizu "thought" Akemi's better off with being married to a stranger because "atleast the abuser is rich, not everyone gets a rich abuser." And yes she assumed hella things because Akemi's reasons for chasing Taigen are literally so she can live by an iota of her choice and not because she's "begging to eat trash." And Mizu didn't consider the reputation of the Shogun's son, regardless of if he's a horrible person, how is being forced to marry a stranger justified?? Another day, another man Akemi trusted, dooming her to a path with no cognizance of how much apprehension of death or joyless life she actually faces in that position.

Mizu was no different from Daichi, Seki, Taigen in that moment. Akemi had no one. Despite doing all in her power to turn her fate, she was unsuccessful because she wasn't able to physically fight for herself and no one chose to step up for her. She was about to solve her own problems by throwing herself off the balcony, evident in how much she didn't desire the marriage. Takayoshi not being an outright brute chauvinistic killer is no justification for "hey didn't turn out to be so bad, huh." Would you rather she have gotten brutalised? Been treated like absolute shit? Would you then believe how scary the marriage could have been for her? Kaji herself told Mizu that "if you killed every man I've seen who couldn't come till someone bled... you'd wear your blade to a stump."

Ringo was justified in criticising Mizu. While Mizu doesn't care about anyone in her path of revenge, Eiji, her own father figure struggles to teach her that she NEEDS people to fight. To strengthen her blade and resolve. Mizu did return to save Akemi as her conscience would have it, Seki also came around and Taigen was finally ready to pursue a life with her over his honor and greatness but it was too late. I don't blame Akemi for asserting twice to Mizu that "We're not friends which Mizu showed too in her actions prior. I don't see it as Akemi being ungrateful but asserting the truth before Mizu slams it in her face. Mizu doesn't want friends so she doesn't get any.

I also don't blame her for rejecting Taigen, I too wouldn't ever wish to be blindsided like that again. It's better to choose your own reality than rely on love or friendship only to get betrayed. As for Akemi's new venture, I laud her for taking Kaji's word and to fight with the agencies she has even though I feel that Kaji shared Mizu's tone deafness in terms of seeing Akemi's (father's and now husband's) wealth as a neutralizer to the abuse she could face which could've been much worse than it was shown to be.

I do agree that having free choice, even after Seki tells her to pursue her own path, is a tad too idealistic for the place and time. She basically just complied to the choices Seki, Taigen, Mizu's made for her. So I loved seeing Akemi make the best of the cards she was dealt, choosing to use her body and mind to seduce, manipulate and progress. To make her choices whether she is loved in the process or not. . To exploit her meek husband's position, to subdue her scheming (now hopefully crispy) father and be great.

#don't speak on my girl unless it's praise #bes akemi #akemi blue eye samurai #mizemi #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x akemi #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai mizu #taigen blue eye samurai #hasty loves bes

[statelysapphic]

Made for Me

Alex Blake x Reader

Summary: After risking your life to save a victim, Alex shows you the comfort you need. Soulmate AU. Covers a square for @prentiss-theorem’s bingo!

Warnings: Typical BAU case talk, mentions of violence. Hurt/comfort. Slight angst.

A/N: I just thought Alex Blake deserved her own Soulmate AU, so I wrote one. I’d absolutely love to know what yinz think because I got SO carried away while writing this. But, I am happy with how it turned out. As always, feedback is always appreciated! Thank you<3

Word Count: 3k

Ao3 Link

“What were you thinking?” Hotch gritted through his teeth, clearly trying not to lose his temper entirely. You knew he was more frustrated than angry, and you supposed he had every right to be. Instead of heading back to the precinct to wrap up an excruciating case, you were sitting on the back bumper of an ambulance, nursing a fresh oxygen tank, drenched and freezing. “Well?”

“Oh, that wasn’t rhetorical?” You quipped, moving the mask away from your face. “Figured it was a nice evening for a swim,” dripping in sarcasm.

“This isn’t the time.” Hotch snapped, rolled his eyes, and shot you a stern look. You weren’t having it, though, wishing until you were at least dry to reprimand you. You looked at him, disgust washing over you.

“Well, I was thinking about the unconscious, tied-up, redhead Nichols tossed off the dock, when none of the women in the county missing reports had red hair! He abducted her this morning, Hotch, she hadn’t even been missing long enough to file a report!”

“You unnecessarily risked your own life to ‘rescue’ a dead body from fourty degree water,” he barks back, not thrilled with your response. “The ME said she won’t be able to verify it until the autopsy, but she’s almost certain the victim was dead before she hit the water. Your decision was reckless and uncalc-”

“And what if she hadn’t been?” You interrupt. “What if she had still been alive and she drowned, huh? What then?” You knew you shouldn’t have been pushing his buttons like you were, but then again, he came in swinging. “I watched him toss her in the river and reach for his gun, Blake and I fired, and when he went down, I dove in after her. You may disagree, but I would do it again without hesitation.” You stood firm, reminding him that you were not the inexperienced agent you once were.

“I’d rather have river rescue only looking for one body as opposed to two. Get some rest. Wheels up at 8.”

You watched Hotch as he walked away and stopped to talk to Alex. Alex. She witnessed everything. She was still somewhat new on the team, but the two of you clicked instantly. You could listen to her talk about everything and nothing, for hours on end, and be simply enthralled every second. And though she was older than you, you had a lot of mutual interests. You also thought she was beautiful. For a moment, you wondered if she could be your soulmate, but that thought was quickly forgotten when you reminded yourself that she was married, and that almost no one actually finds their soul mate. You knew you weren’t lucky enough to be the one in a million. Besides, you and Alex had been working in tandem for the past month, and though you can’t recall specifics, you’re certain the two of you have touched at some point in passing, and you lacked a soulmark.

Dylan Nichols, the unsub, had been one of the lucky ones. His luck, however, ran out when his soulmate had an affair, left him, married the other man a few months later, and moved to Prague. Heartbroken and enraged, Nichols began abducting and murdering surrogates. Six of his seven victims had similar physical features to his estranged soulmate. The seventh woman, Anna, fell victim to his very rapid and extreme escalation. It was an exhausting case, and though you don’t enjoy having to play the role of executioner, you knew this was probably the best outcome.

“You look cold,” Alex said, catching your attention and breaking your train of thought, raking her eyes over your visibly shivering figure. Without another word, she held up a blanket, unfolded it, and wrapped it around your shoulders. “Here, I found this in the back of the SUV. It won’t dry your clothes, but it should help keep the wind off you until we get back to the hotel.” She smoothed out the blanket where it was lying on your shoulders, allowing her hands to linger for just a moment. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t struck with terror when you jumped into the river to save the victim. Even though it was spring, the water temperature was still near freezing. It was close to midnight if that hadn’t been enough, meaning the ordinarily murky water was pitch black.

“Thanks,” you said, grinning, trying not to focus too hard on Alex’s lingering hands. She was gentle, but firm. Possessive, almost. You examined her face as she took a seat beside you. She was trying to hide the worry, but you could see right through her. “You think I’m an idiot, don’t you?” You asked, preparing for her to lecture you just like Hotch.

“I think your dedication to your job is admirable,” she said, her gentle tone did not falter, “Just don’t make a habit of scaring me like that, okay?” She grinned, one hand still on your shoulder. Whether or not Alex would admit it, the physical contact was grounding her after the intense showdown with the unsub. She cared about you, she reminded herself that you were okay. “I’m going to go start the SUV, get it warmed up for you. Finish up with the paramedics and we can head back to the hotel.”

“You’re too good to me, Blake,” your chuckled, cracking a small grin, “Thank you, seriously. I’ll be there soon.” She smiled at you for a few seconds longer before she stood up and made her way to the car. You smiled as you covered your face with the oxygen mask, thinking only of the warm SUV (and Alex Blake) that awaited you.

~

The paramedics released you shortly thereafter. Alex drove you back to the hotel, but not before she stopped at the convenience store a few blocks away. You had been so lost in your own thoughts that you hadn’t realized you stopped. You didn’t even realize the car was in park until Alex closed her car door and walked into the store without a word. When Alex returned, she placed two small, styrofoam cups in your respective cup holders.

“What’s this?” You asked, picking up the cup and soaking in its warmth.

“I figured we could use some hot chocolate. You especially. It’s shitty convenience store hot chocolate, but it’s what I have to offer at the moment,” she said, “When we get back to Virginia, I’ll make you the best coco you’ve ever had.”

“Be careful, Blake,” you joked, “You may end up stuck with me at this rate. Thank you, I didn’t realize you were a world class hot chocolate chef.” Not that that was the worst thought in the world, spending the rest of your days with Alex. You imagined they would be filled with domesticity: Sunday grocery store trips, evenings in bed reading the same book (you’d buy two copies, of course) and comparing notes along the way, and people watching on the front porch together while you had your morning coffee. It felt easy, existing with Alex. She brought you a peace that only existed with her, and it was unlike anything you had ever known. Such a stark contrast from the day to day chaos of your job.

“You think I’d mind?” She asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking. “And I have to keep you on your toes somehow. The recipe is from my mother-in-law. Apparently James used to love it as a kid, but lost the taste for it as he grew older.” James. Right. The husband. Jealousy washed over you, and you quickly reminded yourself that she wasn’t yours. You didn’t understand how you formed such a connection with Alex in the month she had been with the BAU, but you felt drawn to her from the moment she walked into the bullpen. She was, undoubtedly, the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, and when you heard her voice, you thought you had died and gone to heaven. You wouldn’t say you were in love with Alex, but you were falling for her. There was no denying that.

You wondered if James was her soulmate, if she had a soulmark that beautifly painted her skin. It wasn’t something people talked about very often, many not even believing in such a thing, because of it’s rarity. You weren’t sure if it was appropriate to ask either, so you opted to stay quiet.

The ride back to the hotel was silent. You were too lost in your own thoughts to hold a conversation, and Alex could tell. This was a behavior you hadn’t exhibited before. She hoped you were just exhausted and that you hadn’t been traumatized by the evenings events, though she knew it was fueling your thoughts. She didn’t want to pry, but she was worried, so she parked the car and spoke up. “What’s on your mind, Agent?” She lightly teased, hoping it would help you open up, “And you can’t tell me nothing, because I can tell it’s something.”

“I guess,” you paused, wanting to provide a coherent thought while still being vague, “It’s the whole soulmate thing. I guess I just think it’s a little fucked up the universe handcrafted the perfect other half for every single person on Earth but couldn’t even make the bond between them unbreakable.”

“I supposed I’d have to agree with you,” she replied, pulling into the hotel parking lot “I also think it’s a bit cruel that the chances of finding ones soulmate is as low as it is. At least give people a chance.” You chuckled at her sentiment.

“Is James your soulmate?” The words are out of your mouth before you can even begin to debate asking her. Your eyes go wide and your stomach twists into a knot. Panicking, you manage, “Fuck, you don’t have to answer that. That’s super personal and I shouldn’t have asked.” Alex didn’t seem to be phased by your question, though.

“No, he’s not. And that’s okay,” she smiled, “But, secretly, there is a part of me that hopes I do someday.”

“Me too,” you replied, “Ever since I was little. I’ve always remained realistic about the odds of it actually happening, but I allow myself to dream a little.” You chuckled for a moment before lifting your styrofoam cup and pushing it towards Alex, “Here’s to dreaming, cheers.” Alex lifted her cup, bumping it into yours with a laugh.

“Cheers.” You both take hefty swigs of your now lukewarm hot chocolate before heading into the hotel for the night.

~

Conveniently, you had been bunked up with Alex for this case, so she was able to ensure you made it to bed safely. She walked you into the hotel room, her hand at your lower back, guiding you forward.

“Go take a warm shower and get out of those wet clothes. You’ll feel much better, trust me.” She took the blanket from you as you unwrapped yourself, and placed some fresh towels in your hand. You felt your eyes begin to well up and burn; the care she was showing you was unlike any you’ve received before. You felt safe and loved. You quickly turned your head to try and hide your emotion and made your way to the bathroom.

“Thank you again, Alex. I hope you know how much I appreciate your kindness.” you said before closing the bathroom door and clicking the lock.

Finally.

You were alone. Tears began to stream down your face as you looked at your reflection in the oversized bathroom mirror. You looked like hell. You were damp, muddy, and cold to the touch. Your lips, though returning to their normal pink, were still a light shade of blue around portions of their perimeter. All in another days work you think to yourself. You open the door to the walk-in shower and turn the water on to let it heat up. You inhaled deeply and closed your eyes as you began to remove your soiled clothes. Once your shirt and slacks were off, you made your way back over to the mirror to check for any cuts or bruises. Amongst your dirty form, however, sat two golden yellow and orange hand prints on either shoulder.

It can’t be. You stop dead in your tracks, unsure of what to do next. Instinctually, you rubbed your hand over your shoulder, trying to clean the print off, but it wasn’t working. Then you jumped into the shower, thinking the hot water and cheap hotel soap might do the trick. Of course that didn’t work, ruining your hopes it was just a sick prank or some sort. They were your soulmarks, and Alex was your soulmate. You knew instantly, remembering how she covered you up earlier. There was no denying it. Now you were faced with the task of telling her. You know it isn’t something you can hide forever. Panic takes over you. You know she wants to know who her soulmate is, and she deserved that, but you also know that she wouldn’t choose you. She said it herself, James wasn’t her soulmate, but she was okay with it. A knock at the door grabbed your attention.

“Everything okay in there?” She yelled,” You’ve been a while. I just started to worry, that’s all.” You hadn’t realized how long you had been in the shower, and now you felt guilty for keeping Alex up so late.

“All good, sorry, I’ll be out in a few.” You quickly turned the shower off and grabbed a towel to dry off. As you walked from the shower to the bathroom sink, you realized you forgot to grab your pajamas, so you were going to have to face this head on and nude. “Fuck,” you whisper to yourself. You looked back at your now clean reflection, admiring the marks on your shoulders. You couldn’t help but smile. Though you knew it would hurt like hell, you knew Alex deserved to know the truth. You took a deep breath and made your way into the room.

Alex was sat on her bed, hair pulled back in a clip, glasses hanging low on her nose, reading the book she usually saves for the plane ride home. She looked beautiful. You enjoyed this image of Alex for a moment longer. “Alex?” You said softly, drawing her attention away from her novel. She looked up at you and smiled. Her eyes flickered to each of your shoulders and then back to your eyes. Wordlessly, she placed her book on the nightstand, followed by her glasses, and stood from the bed. She slowly made her way over to you, never breaking eye contact. You were frozen in place, thoroughly studying her face. She didn’t seem to be upset in any capacity, nor was her emotion negative. She seemed curious and, dare you say, excited? The tightness in your chest loosened and your face flushed red.

Once in front of you, she paused for a moment before slowly raising her hands and placing them on your shoulders, perfectly covering your soulmarks.

“I knew it,” She whispered, smiling softly as tears prickled her eyes. “I knew you were made for me.” She moved one hand to cup your cheek, while the other remained on your mark. Alex had thought once or twice that you might have been her soulmate. There was no denying the connection she had with you, nor the attraction she felt towards you. And though she didn’t talk about it, she knew her marriage to James was over before she even started at the BAU. She cared about James, yes, but the two had grown apart over the years. She loved him, but she was no longer in love with him. You, however.

“I’m not sure what to say,” you replied, your smile wavering slightly. She was everything you wanted, but she was a married woman and your colleague, no less. You knew what you wanted, but you weren’t sure she would want the same. Would she think you were worth it? Alex noticed your hesitation, and pulled you closer. Her grip on you was possessive, as if she feared you would vanish from her arms.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, sweetheart.” You melted at the sweetness in her voice

and her choice of nickname. You would do anything she told you to, and that was a fact. “I need to know what’s going on in your head so that I can help.” She was so gentle. You knew if she rejected you it was going to hurt like hell and you didn’t want to risk losing a great friend.

“I don’t want to lose you, Alex. I know this changes things, but you’re too good of a friend to risk losing. You don’t even have to tell James. If you don’t have a soulmark already, I just won’t touch you and it’ll all be okay. But, I would be lying if I told you it wouldn’t hurt me. I care about you so much.” As you choked out your thoughts, you felt yourself begin to cry, but you didn’t stop yourself. Alex felt her heart breaking. “I wasn’t even going to tell you. I was going to try and hide it, but then I remembered what you told me in the car, and I didn’t think it would be right. I’m so sorry, Alex.”

“Sweetheart,” she says, interrupting your rambling, “Hold me.”

“What?” You weren’t sure you heard her correctly.

“I said,” she enunciated, closing the already small gap between the two of you, “Hold me. Please.” She grabbed ahold of your wrists and slowly wrapped your arms around her body. Your hands settled on her back knowing her soulmark would appear, and you pulled her close anyway, not that she could get much closer. You relaxed at her touch, as her hands returned to your shoulders and she rested her forehead against yours. “I want this,” she said, “Us. You and I against the world.”

“Alex,” you paused, “Are you sure? You have a husband and a stable life. I’m just me. This doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”

“I’ve been falling for you since the first case we worked on together.” she jumped in before you could get another word out, “I don’t think I’ve been more sure of anything. Besides, only an idiot would pass up a life with their other half.” She smiled and you followed suit. You were shocked that she felt the same, considering it seemed all odds were against you. The two of you stood in each others arms there for a few minutes, basking in the love and excitement of the moment, before you broke the silence.

“Alex?” You asked.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Kiss me,” You said. And without hesitation, Alex cupped your face and her lips were on yours. They were soft, like the fluffiest pillows money could buy. You fit perfectly together. No other kiss had ever felt anything like it, and you could tell Alex was pouring her heart and soul into it. You knew she was trying to tell you that this was real for her. You didn’t need much convincing though. Breaking the kiss, you smiled at Alex, and she smiled back.

“Let’s get some rest,” she whispered. And you did, better than you probably ever had before, thanks to Alex. She had fallen asleep laying on your chest with an arm around your waist. When you woke up the next morning, she was still in the same spot. You felt whole knowing that you had she wanted you just as you wanted her. Though you didn’t like to think about the future too much, in that moment, you knew there wasn’t anything you couldn’t do with Alex by your side.

#alex blake x reader #Alex Blake #criminal minds fanfiction #wlw fanfiction #raeswritingbingo #Mack Writes

[lildoodlenoodle]

Why I think Spider noir is on the younger side(18-20) in the new spiderverse movie per my previous post:

Let’s break it down by Context, Timeline, Mood, and ATSV

Context:

Spider noir has two comic runs that happen before COMICS spiderverse. With that said, there were like inter dimensional energy vampires and that’s obviously not the direction the spiderverse movies went with. So we’re going to largely disregard them for this. To expand, there was a big time jump between that last noir comic and the spiderverse ones. Peter would be closer to mid/late 20s at the start of the comics spiderverse and therefore ITSV if we were to integrate and replace the timelines, BUT I always hated the way they did that time jump in the comics and what it did to Peter’s character.

It felt like they were trying to tie him into 616 Peter wayyyy too much by making his love interest MJ(who we rlly haven’t seen and what we have seen hasn’t had good chemistry), have a good relationship with May(they rlly brushed him shooting someone in front of her and calling him an animal under the rug Huh), and going to college(I get it I do, but unlike most universes I don’t think this Peter could ever stop spiderman enough). There wasn't really any mention of Felicia, Urich, or Robby and their past. They also changed his webbing, his look, and his spider senses.

I felt like that was completely getting rid of all of Peter's characterization and he just becomes the spider with a gun from the 1930s. But the point is they clearly went in a very different artistic and narrative direction after the time jump to a point where it doesn’t feel like the same character.

Refitting the timeline:

So, scrapping the comics spiderverse timeline, I don’t really see a reason for a disjointed time jump. And after those first two comic runs it can be argued, for this Peter, that ITSV happens much sooner for him after that second run, possibly even after the first comic. Then ATSV would happen after that second run. There is an 8mo. time jump between the two runs so it is definitely feasible.

But let’s talk about mood between the runs.

We all know at least somewhat this Peter's origin, and if you don’t, to sum it up: organized crime, monsters, socialism, cannibalism.

The first run ends, Peter beats the goblin without killing him and he’s feeling pretty good about himself/confident. But he’s still got a lot of well deserved angst and self hatred. His uncle is dead, his new mentor/father figure is dead, his relationship with May is on the rocks to say the least, and there’s the whole Felicia thing. He’s still a high schooler and in that teen range, but a big ass lanky teenager who's only solid looking because of the gear he wears. I’d place him around 16-18, a case could be made for 15 but I’m going to politely disagree. ITSV could very easily be fairly soon after these events.

It’s 8 months after the first run. He becomes cocky and overconfident this whole next issue, possibly because of an interdimensionally inflated ego? Point is he feels on top of his game. Also worth mentioning, he’s ignoring MJ this whole issue to the point the audience knows basically nothing about her while he is having a very intense relationship with Felicia(which we already know how I feel about that whole mess) and who MJ is very blatantly and very badly a foil to.(I love MJ she is just not well written here).

The second run ends, his best friend/possible love interest(I said what I said), Robbie, is dead and unavenged.(I can talk a lot more about Robbie and what effect he had and will have on Peter going forward, also the disservice of his ‘death’) Felicia is disfigured and blames Peter. Peter not only blames himself for all this but the comic ends with him saying he feels powerless and a constant sense of impending doom. He really did not get a single win during this comic, man got the shit beaten out of him too. The age at the end of this comic is 17-19. After the last comic dude was messed up but still had hope, after this one we don’t see the fall out, but I can assure it was BAD. That whole ‘you don’t have to kill the bad guy thing’ is probably out the fucking window. I’m more hesitant to think ITSV happened after this run because of that. He isn’t just depressed or self loathing anymore, he isn’t just playing fast and loose with his life to get results. He does not care, he has no hope, and he doesn’t see a good future.

Pre - ATSV predictions with mild spoilers:

With the year and a couple of months time jump for ATSV it’s very plausible that the events of that last run plus possible spider task force shenanigans could happen before the movie. For more context in the comics spider noir was a recurring spider in the ‘elite strike force’. Personally, if he was invited, I could very much see him accepting, especially with his current mental state, and being very aggressive about it. Which, theoretically, could cause him to get kicked off or make a rash decision to leave bc fuck those guys. But the point is at the end of that last comic this man really doesn’t have a single win, he is in a prime state to be manipulated in.

Edit: my dumbass forgot literally the most important detail. The year 1933 is when ITSV noir comes from which matches this timeline with the comics as well.

To sum everything up, the reason why I think spider noirs age is in the 18/20 range is because it fits the above timeline, which I believe to be the most probable timeline of events that are canon by the movies while also staying consistent with at least some of the original comics. It should be further noted there is no evidence of his age throughout the ITSV movie, besides him being played by Nicholas Cage and being tall. In fact, I’d argue due to his excessive use of slang it would naturally place him in a younger category as well as the classic melodramaticness that can come with being a coping teenager. The most important thing that makes his age and at what point in his storyline he’s in up to interpretation is the fact that we see his face once and it’s heavily shadowed. If we saw his face more I’d feel better about giving him a more solid age, but till then context clues for the win. But anyways, this was long and I still have more I could get into/say and I will eventually. Feel free to ask any questions or even tell me why you disagree!

#never claimed my takes were correct or sane but holy shit I will bring receipts #no hate to anyone who HCs him older cause I do understand and see it #especially if you haven’t read the comics or are including the spidergeddon jumping off point #spiderverse spoilers #only like a little #it’s more noir comic spoilers lol #into the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #I cannot wait to see him in beyond the spiderverse #these comics refuse to leave my brain #spider noir conspiracies #spidernoir #spiderman noir #spider noir #marvel #peter benjamin parker #Peter parker #ben urich #robbie robertson #Felicia hardy #mary jane watson #may parker #Ben parker #ITSV #ATSV #marvel noir

[lumosinlove]

Christmas Eve Will Find Me

Three: Sirius

Safehouse Somewhere in Athens

Athens, Greece

Sirius guessed he had expected heat in Athens. Just subconsciously. Instead, he zipped up his black Patagonia as he walked into the kitchen and pulled a knit hat down over his ears. He put the stove-top coffee on, hissing a little at the leap of the flame while igniting the gas.

It was a sagging, one story house. Narrow and tucked between two other ones just like it. The kitchen came first, a window looking out onto the street. They kept the curtains drawn. The living room was really just a small, thin-cushioned couch in the kitchen, and the three bedrooms were off of the single hallway. One bathroom. Sirius sighed as he waited for the water to heat. One bathroom had freezing or scalding water. But it was safe. At least for now. No bugs, both he and James had checked while Finn stood there nervously like he was afraid to move. They’d have Leo check again once he arrived, just in case.

The coffee began to bubble, the creme on the top thickened by the sugar. When they had been here last, Remus had taken strongly to the bittersweet drink, even the gritty taste of the fine coffee grounds in it. Sirius didn’t love it, but he needed something.

Because Remus was somewhere in this city. Somewhere on this Earth.

He checked the cupboards. At least those were somewhat stocked. The small fridge had cheese, eggs, bread. Olives, even a bottle of white wine. Leo would be able to work his usual magic.

“Morning.”

Sirius closed the fridge. Finn came out of the bedroom in a thick sweatshirt and pajama pants, rubbing his arms.

“Hey,” Sirius said. He’d feel better if Finn was dressed and wearing shoes, ready to ditch at a moment’s notice.

“Is there heat we can turn on?”

“No heat,” Sirius said, but took a second cup down from the sparse hooks on the wall. “Sorry. Space heater by the couch.”

“Ah,” Finn said.

“Are those Logan’s?”

Finn looked up from where he was standing curled in on himself in front of the rumbling, ancient looking heater. “What?”

“Your clothes.”

Finn brushed his fingers over the sweatshirt’s cuff. Turned his nose into the collar, or maybe he was just cold. “Yeah.”

“No coat?” Sirius plucked at his own. “It’ll be in a ball. Zipped up into itself, made small.”

“Um. I’ll look again.”

“Coffee?”

Finn nodded and Sirius poured.

“James isn’t awake yet?” Finn asked.

“He’s on watch.” Sirius didn’t think it would help anything if he told Finn they’d both been taking shifts throughout the night. Did Finn really think they would all just fall asleep? He had to keep reminding himself that Logan kept most of this life away from him, showing him only the happier aftermaths of long, well-deserved vacations together.

“Milk’s in the fridge if you take it,” Sirius said.

“That’s fine.” Finn held his mug between both hands. Logan’s sweatshirt fit him well. Where Finn rose above him in height, Logan made up in the width of his shoulders. It had no logo, nothing someone could identify anything by. Logan had said Finn once gifted him one of his own university sweatshirts to bring in his go-bag, and Logan had had to explain that he would never wear anything while working that could lead someone back to Finn.

I hate telling him the bad parts, Logan had said softly to Sirius one night when they had been in New York. Logan had been particularly mournful, having visited the city the most to see Finn’s family. I hate seeing how he tries not to show how much it scares him.

“What now?” Finn asked. “I mean…how do we do this? How do we start?”

Well first, please put some fucking shoes on. “Now we wait.”

“For what?”

“Leo.”

“Why didn’t he travel with you?”

Sirius sighed. He had not gotten enough sleep for this. “Sometimes that’s how it works. Leo’s on our team, but he’s not the same kind of agent as I am, or James.”

“Or Remus and Lo?”

Lo. God, it had been a long time since Sirius had heard Finn call him that. He really, really hoped that Finn hadn’t set his heart on anything changing. At least not all of it. Sirius had seen those shots. He’d seen Remus drop. He’d seen Logan’s head snap back with the force of a bullet. He’d seen them both go down. He’d seen them dragged into the boat off the Sounion beaches where their bodies had been, most likely, sent to the seafloor.

“Right,” Sirius said. “So, he’s on our team but he has other work, and it’s not always fieldwork like us.”

Finn seemed to mull this over for a moment. “So, does that mean he’s never in as much danger?”

Sirius took a long drink of his coffee. He held the thick graininess beneath his tongue before swallowing. “No. Not really. He can be tracked through cyber means as well as we could be followed on foot.”

“Oh.”

Sirius heard the door open and James’ two note whistle, letting him know it was just him.

“Speaking of, you should get dressed. You never know when we’ll have to go and bad guys don’t wait for laces.”

Finn blinked. “I—oh. Shit. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” James’ voice came as he walked into the kitchen. “Sirius is a worry-wart.”

“We’re here to track two agents who we saw get shot in the back.”

Sirius saw Finn shiver, curling closer to his cup.

“Okay, fair,” James said. “Leo’s arriving, saw him down the road. Coffee?”

“Yeah.”

James sniffed. “No tea?”

“If you wanted your perfectly made tea every day you should’ve gotten a desk job.”

James rolled his eyes and accepted a cup. “Is there milk in this joint, at least?”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Fridge.” He pushed up from where he was leaning against the counter. “I could…make something. Eggs or—”

James raised his eyebrows as he poured milk into his cup. “Did you not hear me say Leo’s arriving? Why eat an apple seed when you could wait for the apple?”

Sirius snorted into his cup, and the door opened again. Two notes, exactly the same as James’.

“Hi,” Leo said. “I—” His eyes widened when he saw Finn.

“Hi,” Finn said. He looked sheepish, but he set his coffee cup down and faced Leo. “Hi.”

Leo looked properly spooked in Sirius’ opinion. Then again, James and Sirius had a quiet bet between them that Leo had quite the crush on Logan. Maybe, if they found him, Leo had been hoping for some time away from Finn. It can’t be all too fun to be crushing on a married man, James had said once. Let him have his fun. It’s harmless.

“What…” Leo set his bag down with a plomp. It was nearly identical to Sirius’ own—Dark, waterproof and unremarkable. “What are you doing here?”

Before Finn, or any of them, could even answer, Leo was striding forward and pulling Finn into a tight hug. Oh God, he heard Leo say under his breath and tucked his nose briefly into Finn’s neck.

Sirius and James looked at each other.

“I need to know if…” Finn’s voice wavered, chin on Leo’s shoulder. Leo didn’t need him to finish. It must be raining lightly, having just started because James was dry. Leo’s blond hair had little jewels of drops on the curls. Finn turned his face into them a little, water transferring in dew drops onto his cheek.

Leo pulled back and took Finn’s shoulders in his large hands. Leo rubbed his arm once, up and down. “Have you eaten?”

Sirius left them to it. Leo had whipped up buttery eggs and even heated some of the milk to combat James’ woeful coffee pleas. Leo would get set up, he’d share a room with Finn, and so he could answer the bulk of Finn’s questions for a while. They did spend more time together, after all. Sirius pulled his hat more firmly over his ears and made sure the door locked behind him.

It was a gray day, but the Christmas lights around every streetlamp broke through some of the gloom. The other people about the streets seemed untouched by it. It looked like a normal Saturday. The markets were out—soft breads and walnut cookies coated in powder sugar. Winter greens and roots, hot spiced drinks. Vendors calling back and forth to each other and little kids being chased between legs by their older siblings. Sirius tried to imagine it. Walking outside without his gun. Going shopping while holding someone’s hand.

He hadn’t known where he was going until he arrived, but there the table was. The cafe looked exactly the same. Two old couples at some of the tables outside, bundled in their coats and scarves and sipping espresso. A waiter nodded him into the third of the tables. Their table. Sirius sat down with a heart beating hard.

“Thank you,” Sirius said in Greek.

“Sir?”

“Espresso.”

“Very good.”

The marble top was stained the same—the two interlocking coffee rings. Those had been in front of Remus last time, which meant he was in Remus’ chair. The thought sent a prickle up his neck. Two days before he had died. How had they been sitting here, laughing, just two days before—well, not died. God, he wasn’t dead, he was somewhere in this city.

“Sir,” the waiter said. An espresso cup—tiny and thin—the creamy surface so perfectly serene. Sirius would leave the money on the table, just as the couple leaving did. This was the part that came with training. Don’t stand out. Don’t give yourself away by asking for the check or getting up and going inside. You sit, you drink, you talk, and you leave.

Of course, him and Remus had done much more than that. It had been eight at night, not eight in the morning, and the espresso had been Negronis. Remus had already been flushed by the heat, but the gin had given his smile a whole new light.

He’d leaned on his palm, cold rocks glass pressed against his cheek. “This heat. Makes you want to jump in the ocean, huh?”

They hadn’t. Not quite. But they’d paid for their drinks and picked up a chilled bottle of white wine instead. Sat on the steps of a church and laughed into each other’s shoulders. Remus’ mouth had brushed his neck at one point and Sirius knew Remus had felt his breathing change.

Remus had tucked a dark strand of Sirius’ hair behind his ear. “It’s nice to see you let loose a little.”

“Am I really as uptight as everyone says?”

Remus had just poured Sirius another inch of wine. “No. But usually when we give ourselves a day off while on a job, you act all guilty. Instead, you’re here laughing with me.”

Sirius should have kissed him that night. He really could have. Remus had looked right at his mouth.

Sirius had expected a kiss maybe. Instead, Remus had looked back at him and said. Sometimes I wonder what we’re doing. Sirius had thought he meant them, but then Remus had said, Who we’re doing it for.

Sirius tilted back his head to get the dregs of his coffee, eyes scanning the street, and he nearly dropped the cup. He sat up straight and set the cup on its saucer hard.

“Remus,” he whispered. He only just remembered to fish out money, but he didn’t take his spot off of where the flash of familiar blond-brown hair had disappeared.

It was just like him, and it did mean something was wrong. To show his face after all this time, luring Sirius back here, and then knowing that he’d retrace their steps, retrace himself back to that night.

Remus had looked right at his mouth. “We shouldn’t…I—Sirius, I want—We shouldn’t.”

Another glimpse. Shoulders, grey t-shirt. Another turned corner, and Sirius couldn’t help it anymore. He broke into a run. The markets weren’t as picturesque while trying to run through them. He dodged around families, locked-hands and stuffed grocery bags with green carrot tops spilling out. The person—Remus?—had yet to turn around. It was like he was leading him somewhere.

He should radio. He should tell James. He caught himself against the edge of a building as he turned a corner. It couldn’t have been more than a few moments after—after whoever this was, after whatever trick Sirius was playing on himself.

But nothing. Gone. The buildings dead-ended but he had been sure he saw him. Sirius was panting, sweating in his jacket and hat.

“Remus,” he whispered. He looked behind him, back the way he’d come, then at the wall. It had a gate on it, but Sirius couldn’t get the chains off of it with even the hardest tug. Remus wouldn’t have been able to get through and lock back up, not in the time it took Sirius to catch up.

Sirius leaned against the gate and closed his eyes. “Jesus.” He just wanted to find him. That was all. He just wanted to find him.

He was alive. Alive, alive, alive.

#Christmas Eve will find me lumosinlove #winterfic 2023 lumosinlove #wolfstar #spy au #finnlo #sunfish #lionfish

[bookish-whore]

Falling Part V

Azriel x Reader

Words: 4.3k

Warnings: slight self-destructive behavior, angst, Azriel being a dumb male

A/N: Not gonna lie guys when I initially wrote this chapter, I had the worst writers block and I ended up deleting it all last night and starting it over (which produced this) but I am so excited with where its headed. This chapter is somewhat filler content, but I promise I am putting some things into motion for later! I know I write this literally every fic, but I appreciate you all so much for loving this story and I am so overwhelmed with the support it has gotten. My requests are open so feel free to send all the asks <3

Also, I am almost at 400 followers WHAT?! And I think I’ll do a little personal Q&A or something so you guys can get to know me a little bit <3 I’ll update you in a post soon!

Previous parts here -> Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

--------------------------------------------------

Last night seemed like a dream.

I woke up to bright light streaming through my window, my indication that the sun was already high in the sky. I guess I had slept far longer than I meant to. I stretch out my limbs, the events of last night returning to my memory as I looked at my night table where I had conveniently placed Iremia. I remembered then that it was real. Azriel and Elain were engaged. Engaged. I bring my hands to rub the sleep from my eyes, dragging them down my face and letting out a sigh. I could stay in bed all day and wallow in self-pity, but I decided that I wouldn’t continue to let them have so much control over my life, I would continue to heed Nesta and Lucien’s advice. With that decided, I take a quick bath and get dressed before heading to the dining room to find something to eat.

I entered the room surprised to find Nesta sitting in her usual position, Cassian next to her holding her hand and rubbing gentle circles along the back of it while they spoke.

“Good morning” I announce as I take my seat across from them

“Morning y/n” Cassian says while piling more food onto his plate

“So?” Nesta asked as I piled eggs, bacon, and bread with jam on my plate.

“So?” I repeat back to her, I know that she wants details about last night but I’m going to at least make her be direct about it.

“How did it go?” She clarifies, at this Cassian looks between the two of us clearly also wanting to hear the details.

“I couldn’t do it Nes, not after the announcement” she rolled her eyes but let me continue “It’s just the timing didn’t seem right, and I know I know you’re going to say the timing will never be right, but Nes you didn’t see him. He looked so happy, so carefree, and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin it by dropping this bombshell on him.”

“Look y/n, I love you and I will support you with whatever you decide to do.”

“I feel like a -but- is coming” I interject

“but-” she continues with one of her signature looks. “Don’t you think it would be worse to wait? That it will only be a bigger deal if they actually go through with getting married? Maybe it would hurt everyone involved less if you told them before planning and preparations are made? I mean he deserves to make an informed decision about what to do about the bond”

“I don’t know Nes.” I look to Cassian who is silently eating his breakfast “wait a second- what do you mean actually go through with getting married? Do you think they won’t go through with it?”

“All I know is that Feyre and Rhys are preparing for the worst-case scenario. I mean she is a mated female and if Lucien wanted to, he could invoke a blood duel as per Autumn Court tradition. Not to mention tension among the courts is still fragile after the treaty business last year.”

“Lucien wouldn’t do that; he doesn’t see mated females as his property in that way.” I said “Also, he isn’t technically an Autumn Court male anymore. He is the high lord apparent of the Day Court.”

“Regardless of his court standing, he is still her mate. He also has the strongest of relationships with the human realm and I don’t know if Rhys and Feyre are prepared to lose an asset like him due to Elain’s need to rebel.” She said matter of factly.

“What do you think Cass?” I asked the male.

He went still a moment, his brows furrowing as though he was debating what exactly to say in this situation. “I think that Nes has a point, I mean the longer you wait the more people may get hurt by the news and I think that he deserves to know; he has been infatuated with the idea of mates since we were younger and I don’t know what changed his mind, but I think he is just looking for commitment and Elain is looking to rebel, and they just found each other. I also stand by my previous statement during training, I love him dearly, he is my brother, but gods damn is he an idiot sometimes.”

I can’t help but laugh at his statement. “I’ll consider it” I look between the two of them “I promise I will think about it, and I’ll talk to Rhys and Feyre to see what they think.”

The couple nodded as we continued with breakfast. We switched the conversation to training and general news. Once we had finished, we went our separate ways. I thought a lot about what they had said and sent a note to find the high lord and lady and ask for their advice with this whole thing. I immediately got a response that appeared in Rhysand’s elegant script offering to winnow me to the River House this afternoon to meet them in his office. I immediately accepted sending the magical paper back to its sender and decided to indulge myself in a book until the meeting time.

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I hadn’t realized how many hours had passed until the high lord materialized in the library. I put my book on a nearby table and offered a simple greeting. Rhys held out his arm which I took without hesitation, the familiar pulling sensation taking over as we winnowed directly to the high lord’s office. When we arrived, I turned to find Feyre entering the room with Nyx. The little prince reaching his arms out. I hadn’t noticed before, but his wings were getting stronger, and he was gaining some control over them as he flapped them in an attempt to launch himself into his father’s waiting arms.

“Hey y/n” the high lady said handing Nyx to her mate who beamed at the boy now securely in his embrace.

“So, to what do we owe the pleasure” Rhysand asked, Feyre simply nodded in agreement.

“Well, you know that I love you both, and that I value your opinion.” The two nodded listening intently “After Solstice, after the engagement, I think I am just looking for some advice about what to do about Azriel. You know whether I should still tell him about the bond or just leave it alone. I talked to Cassian and Nesta earlier and now I’m asking you what you think.”

The two look at each other, silently communicating as they tended to do. Feyre was the one to speak “You know I love my family; I love both of my sisters but there are just so many logistics involved with this whole union. I mean you are Azriel’s mate whether you tell him and whether or not he accepts it and the same goes for Elain, she is welcome to reject the bond with Lucien but to me it seems like she is just running away from the idea altogether.” She took a breath “and Lucien, I mean he is not only my friend but also an ally of this court and he has every right to invoke the blood duel should he want to. its just spiraled, the whole thing from a harmless flirtation to a disaster.” She looked at her mate who gave her a nod of approval.

“Look you two, I don’t know where this idea came from that Lucien is going to challenge Az but he isn’t an Autumn Court male anymore and finds the blood duel repulsive and when has he given any indication that he would do something like that. When he got to the night court, he let Elain have her space and he hasn’t pushed the bond on her. He’s never tried to force anything on her, and he wouldn’t now just because they are engaged.”

“You have a valid point” Feyre said “But the whole reason you came here was to ask our opinion on your situation. I think both Rhys and I agree that you should still tell him. I mean had he not proposed, you would have told him at the solstice party. We think that he deserves to have all the information before he makes a big decision like this, like marriage.”

I nod my head as she speaks, her words echoing that of Cassian and Nesta’s from this morning. “I guess I have a lot to think about”

“Look, no matter what happens just know we are here for you to help you through this” Rhysand says breaking his silence.

“I’m scared” I admit to them

“Well look at it this way” Feyre begins “at least you will be the one to tell him and not a Suriel” she gives Rhys a mischievous look as he grins

“I was going to tell you…eventually” he said “The Suriel just got to you first AND I was gravely injured if you recall”

Feyre let out a laugh, pressing a kiss to his lips and to Nyx’s forehead. “I think it is all going to work out y/n”

I let out a long breath “Okay, well now that that is settled, hand me that baby because I need time with my nephew”

Rhys grins handing Nyx to me, I bounce the babe on my knees and enjoy some family time with the three of them for the remainder of the night.

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It had been a month since my conversations with Nesta and Feyre about what to do and I was still no closer to a decision. I had even gone as far as making pro and con lists which were scattered across my desk with various reasons why I should tell him, and why I shouldn’t. Reason number one being that they seemed so happy. Just yesterday they had announced that they intended to marry a week after Starfall, which was only a few months away.

I continued thinking about my reasons as I got ready for the day. I was going to be helping Gwyn with research in the library today. I had to admit I was excited to spend the day surrounded by books and to be around Gwyn, I had been so busy with the new developments with Azriel that I had neglected time with my friend, and I intended to make up for it.

I was putting on my shoes in a chair in the corner of my bedroom when I heard a rustling on my desk. I looked over as a letter appeared on top of a pile of other correspondence, my name scrawled across the front with handwriting I immediately recognized. I jumped up from my position taking the letter in my hands as I tore open the envelope and couldn’t help the smile on my face as I read it.

My Dearest Y/N,

I hope you are doing well. I have found myself missing your company in the past weeks since my relocation to my father’s court. I have been keeping busy, learning the history of the court, and enjoying the vast library, it really is unmatched. I think you would love it. No, I know you would love it here. Anyways, what updates do you have from the Night Court? I take it everyone is well. I’m sure it has been hard on you these weeks since the engagement and I want to remind you that you have a friend, a friend who happens to know exactly what you’re going through and one that has come to care greatly for you. please remember that you always have a place in my court should you need to escape.

Yours,

Lucien

I made myself a mental note to send a response as I checked the time realizing I was late and made my way downstairs to the library.

I was immediately greeted by Gwyn, the red head smiling at me in one of her big genuine smiles, her eyes sparkling with the gesture, and she pulled me into a tight hug. “Oh, I have missed you so much y/n” she says

“I missed you too Gwyn”

“Okay you have so much to catch me up on” she says practically bouncing with excitement over our girl talk today which we did between tasks for Clotho and finding some research for another priestess Gwyn is helping. I told her everything, I needed another opinion about what to do from someone not currently in a mating bond. Someone who might understand my reservations a little better.

“How do you feel about it all?” she asks as we work on reshelving books in the lower levels.

“I feel…” I take a breath “I don’t know I guess I feel conflicted, on one hand I want him to know maybe for my own benefit, but I mean is it fair of me to just make this choice for him? What if he feels like Elain? Like the bond is a burden he wants to run from? I don’t know if I can deal with that kind of rejection. On the other hand, I don’t tell him and continue my life like it is now and let him continue his life that he chose with Elain but what if one day it snaps for him and he wants to explore it, but they have a life, maybe a family? I am just confused and scared, and I don’t know what to do. The consensus has been that I need to tell him and that’s what I am leaning towards, but I just don’t know Gwyn.”

“I think that the only person who can decide what to do is you.” the priestess says “I mean you get all this advice about what’s fair for him. But what is fair to you?”

I was pondering over her words when suddenly a note materialized on the cart. I recognized the script immediately and for a moment I forgot how to breathe.

Meet me on the roof

-Az

“What do you think he wants?” I ask

“Only one way to find out” she says “I think you should figure out what you want y/n, I think you two should figure out if you’re even compatible before you decide. Maybe spend time with him without the influence of other people, just you two to see how you interact. Maybe it’ll help you to make your decision. Remember that mating bonds were initially put in place by the mother for prime breeding benefits, we live in a modern world and maybe it’s an antiquated concept now”

“Thanks Gwyn” I said pulling the female into another hug “I guess I have somewhere to be”

“Good luck” she says disappearing behind a bookshelf, continuing with her work. I take a deep breath and make my way upstairs.

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I couldn’t help the thoughts running through my head as I made my way up to the roof, the most dominant one being what If he knows. I try to not look concerned as I open the door, the sunlight catching me off guard for a moment as I make out his figure in our usual spot, sitting on the edge of the roof with his legs dangling over the side. His wings looking powerful and poised behind him.

His shadows immediately slither over to greet me, as they do, he turns from his position to look at me approaching. “Hey y/n” he says patting the empty space next to him.

I carefully set myself down beside him, hoping he can’t hear how loud my heart is beating. After a moment of silence, I manage to say “So, why did you ask me here?”

“To be honest…I’m not really sure” He says “I feel like you are one of the only people I can really talk to you know. The others, I love them, and they are my family, but I know they don’t approve of me right now.”

“Don’t approve of you why?”

“I know they have reservations about me and Elain. I mean months ago Rhys cornered me in his office and basically told me to stay away from her, and now we’re engaged. I know he and Feyre are probably figuring out the logistics of it all, you know because she is mated to Lucien.”

“I may have heard something like that from them.” I say “Can I just ask you why, if you know how your family feels and you have these reservations then why go through it”

“I think I’m in love with her”

“This seems like a lot of trouble for you think, I mean if you are going to vow to spend your life with someone shouldn’t you know you love them?” I asked him.

“I think that conversation we had a few weeks ago has really stuck with me, you know about mates. I can’t help but feel nostalgic. I spent hundreds of years certain I would find my mate and then I gave up on it and decided to try things with Elain and maybe I feel guilty. Because if I were in Lucien’s position, I would hate the male and I would be in absolute hell watching my mate fall in love with and intend to marry someone else.”

“I know Lucien doesn’t hate you, he may dislike you because of his instincts but he trusts Elain to make her own decisions. He would never force her to accept the bond or choose him unless it is what she truly wanted.”

“You talk with Lucien?” he asks, looking over at me, his eyes meeting mine.

“Of course, I mean we’re friends and have been for some time now”

“I guess I didn’t notice”

“There are a lot of things you don’t notice” I say quietly under my breath.

“What was that?” he asks

“Oh nothing” I reply, “but Az if you feel guilty you can pull out you know. You don’t have to go through with any of this if you feel that way.”

“I know, its just” he pauses taking a deep breath “I don’t think anyone else would love me, maybe this is it. Maybe this is my one chance at some kind of happiness”

“I don’t think the universe works that way Az” he looks at me “Besides there are plenty of people who love you, myself included”

“I know that y/n, I just feel like I’m making a huge mistake, every instinct is screaming that this is wrong, and I can’t shake it.”

“I should give you Iremia, seems like you could use the tranquility” I say jokingly

“That’s what you named it? The dagger?” he asked

I nod my head in confirmation “Yeah, I figured I could use a little calm in my life so why not”

“It’s a great name” he says.

“Look Az, maybe you should call off the wedding if you are having these doubts. No one would blame you for taking the time to think about it, this is the rest of your life you are talking about, and you should be sure you want to spend it with Elain. Especially if you’re having such strong doubts.”

“I just don’t want to hurt anyone” he says softly

“I know the feeling” I say bringing my eyes down to look at my hands.

“Y/n?” he says my name softly, almost a whisper and I turn my head to face him. He is looking at me and his eyes met mine, and I noticed them drift lower before his gaze is resting on my lips. My breath became caught in my throat. Was he going to kiss me? I thought as his mouth parted slightly, his breath becoming uneven as he began to lean into me.

“Az?” A soft voice said interrupting the moment.

“Elain” he said quickly, practically jumping away from me and making his way over to her placing a kiss to her temple “What are you doing up here?” he asked her.

“We have dinner plans…remember?” she replied, “I figured I would save you a trip by coming here.” She looked over at me, I was rising from the mat “Hello y/n” she said politely

I immediately felt embarrassed and fought the redness rising on my face as I gave her a nonchalant greeting back.

“Thanks for the talk y/n” Azriel says “I’ll see you in training tomorrow”

I give them both a small smile as they depart his shadows swirling as he winnows them away. The conversation runs over again in my head. Did he suspect something? Was he going to kiss me? Would I have let him?

I make my way downstairs to my room to change before dinner with the Inner Circle, minus Elain and Azriel who apparently had other plans for the evening. My thoughts no clearer than they were this morning.

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Once bathed and changed I made it to the dining room to find it already full of people. Nesta and Cass were in their usual seats as were Feyre, Rhys, Nyx, Mor, and even Amren to my surprise. I took up my seat across from Nesta and began to fill my plate.

The conversation was normal, mostly updates about Nyx and about the Valkyries training about new developments in the Hewn city and general news. Until Feyre cleared her throat drawing my attention. “So, y/n, what is new on the Azriel front?” she tried to sound nonchalant about it, but the air was thick with tension.

“Here we go” I said rolling my eyes as I prepared for the same speech I had gotten for weeks from them about how I needed to do the right thing and tell him and basically just get it over with.

“Clearly you have all made your opinions on the matter known. So why don’t you all just tell me what to do.” I look around the room meeting their gaze, my tone elevating as I continued “If anyone has an idea of how I should better deal with this please let me know because I feel like I am losing my mind.” My voice breaks but I take a deep breath and continue. “I know what you all think about it, but it isn’t your decision to make. If and when I tell him about this it will be on MY terms.”

“We just want to help you” Feyre says softly.

“As if any of you can help me, as if any of you can fathom what it’s like. Except you Rhys, but only briefly because it worked out in your favor. What would you all suggest I do hmm? Oh, wait you have all already told me what you think. Why do I need to rush and make a decision like this just because you all have an opinion about it?”

“y/n-” Nesta begins, but I cut her off.

“Because on one hand, I tell him about the bond and ruin any chance of happiness he has built for himself. On the other I don’t say a word, and one day the bond may snap for him, and he resents me for not telling him. Oh, and not to mention the other important piece here, Elain. You all would have me be the villain that steps in to ruin her wedding, to ruin a choice she made, a choice they both made. I can’t do that. No, actually I won’t do that.”

“But y/n-” Cassian began

“There is no but, that is all there is to it Cass. Either way I lose” the others look down at their hands, mulling over what I said.

“I’m going to bed” I announce, getting up from the table and making my way to my bedroom. I hear their hushed voices arguing as I make my way up the stairs, I do my best to block it out.

Once making it to my room, I close the door softly behind me and make my way to my desk. I take deep steadying breaths trying to ignore the feeling of being suffocated, of being forced into something so serious. I turn my head and catch a glimpse of Lucien’s last letter. I look it over again, suddenly getting an idea.

I grab a piece of parchment, and a pen and scrawl out a quick reply before losing my nerve.

Dearest Lucien,

I am doubtful of my ability to remain here surrounded by happy mated couples. Watching Elain and Azriel plan their wedding is torture. Getting advice from people who know nothing of what I am going through is torture and to be honest I miss you more than I can express. So, how soon can I visit? I feel that some time away would do me good. I need to figure out what my life is without him, who I am without him. Perhaps you can help with that.

Yours,

Y/N

Next Chapter ->

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[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1Ep2 First watch

Review with spoilers for episode 2 under the cut.

(Which is mostly me ripping into Jinshi.)

Jinshi. My man. I'm both exasperated and excited to see you try your plan to seduce Maomao.

I saw it in episode 1 when you easily maneuvered Maomao into exposing herself and confessing, so I knew you were somewhat crafty. Also, this being a palace intrigue story, I do expect some shady stuff. Even so, I was hoping you would be upfront and honest with Maomao. She was forthcoming with her background, skills, and why she stepped forward to help the sick infants (I'm of the opinion she may have additional secrets that she has not yet revealed, but even so), and yet Jinshi is planning on using dishonest methods to try and control her.

He's a handsome man in power, he's probably used to being able to influence women with seduction. However, I think this plan is likely to fail. Maomao nearly spontaneously combusted when someone joked about her becoming a courtesan, so I'm guessing his flirting will either fluster her in a way that doesn't seduce her or she will find it bafflingly or dishonest and do her best to ignore it. I'm here for anything, whatever goes down I know it's going to be entertaining.

I just met Maomao last episode and I already know seduction is the wrong method to use with her. He would find more success by appealing to her sense of responsibility, justice, or even just her curiosity. He's too smart. I predict that he'll figure this out sooner rather than later.

In the meantime, I hope this seduction plan backfires terribly for him. I want him to end up seducing himself and for Maomao to gain that power over him, where Jinshi hoped to take it from her. I want him to suffer in his desire for her, and eventually I want Maomao to return his affection, but not until he gets what he deserves for trying to manipulate her.

Oh! Okay, I didn't guess that. She's grossed out by him. Maybe I've read this all wrong. *Me rethinking everything. Trying to see earlier scenes in new shades* I'm not convinced she won't like him eventually, but if she is repulsed by men it would explain a few things....

Oh no! Or if she has sexual trauma! That would explain things as well. Ahhh! I hope not! This show won't go that dark will it? *Remembers human trafficking and infant death in the first episode*

At first glance the other ladies in waiting seem nice enough. They are fast to fill in gaps with their own assumptions and immediately gossip about it, so Maomao will want to watch that, but they at least seem compassionate.

Once again we are reminded of Maomaos self harm tendencies with her experiments on herself. In a flashback her father simply laughed and said "that's my little mad scientist." I wonder if she's ever had someone looking out for her that truly cared about her well being? She seems very self sufficient but Maomao deserves to have someone who makes her feel safe and cared for, especially since she's not protecting herself.

For fucks sake Jinshi! Once again he is setting up tests for Maomao without her even knowing she's being tested. In this case he had the food presented in ceramic bowls rather than the more useful silver to see if she would mention it. She did, once again proving her reliability and knowledge.

Princess Peach (I haven't learned this lady-in-waitings name yet but her hair piece looks like PPs crown so I'm going with that for now): If you had spoken up earlier and told someone you were literate, you would have received higher wages.

Maomao: I was kidnapped and brought here against my will. And taking into account that part of my earnings get sent back to the people who stole me, I wasn't exactly eager to.

PP: Basically, you would rather take less pay if it means not supplying the scoundrels who took you with extra drinking money?

This exchange is interesting to me and I think could be seen a couple of ways. On the one hand it could be seen that Maomao would rather suffer herself to ensure that her enemies also suffer than to allow herself to prosper if it means her enemies could also prosper. It could be seen as an act of malice at her own expense. Which... it is. But, that view doesn't account for Maomao's feelings about it which I'm guessing are more self-sacrificing. She would gladly forsake better pay because it's the right thing to do. Evil should not be allowed to prosper and it certainly won't do so with Maomao's help. She'd pick her own suffering every time to prevent injustice.

Goddammit Jinshi! Did he knowingly give Maomao food with an aphrodisiac in it?! What an asshole. He plays so dirty. Thank goodness Maomao is too skilled to fall for that, and now she's on to him.

And Maomao casually solves another mystery, with minimal evidence. She's way too good at this. It could become a problem if she solves an actual crime instead of the two accidental poisonings that she's done up to now. We know someone has tried to poison the concubine twice already so there is someone nafarious in the palace to watch out for. Depending on who it is, if Maomao exposes their crimes, they will probably come for her too.

Jinshi, you bastard! He knows his flirting isn't working, and she easily avoided being secretly dosed with an aphrodisiac, but ask her to make one herself? Well shit, he can get her to dose herself.

Okay so the emperor deliberately placed Jinshi in the back palace to test his concubine's loyalty, but I've got no time to dwell on that because HOLY SHIT! Does Jinshi have a degradation kink! I love that for him!

Meanwhile, Maomao's kink is apothecary ingredients. Lol! She's too funny!

Maomao. Just what am I supposed to believe here. You act disgusted by Jinshi's attempts at seduction but then you think stuff like this:

If he were to come on to someone, blushing and with those looks, it's over.

I'm sure it would be enough to captivate anyone. Male or female.

Moving forward we get this ominous exchange from the concubine and princess Peach:

PP: so the new girl is capable of making drugs.

Concubine: what a beneficial skill.

Does Maomao even realize what it means that she can identify poisons and make them? In a harem setting?! She'll be suspect #1 if anyone gets poisoned, especially considering she's a commoner of low position, meaning she's expendable. Plus, people will be trying to manipulate her into using her skills for their machinations (*cough* Jinshi *cough*). I feel like this story is in the calm before the storm.

There are so many dangers around Maomao and she's so completely alone. She's got her knowledge, skills, and wit but she is so outnumbered and outmatched. I hope she will find a powerful or useful ally.

Fucking Jinshi! This dude's out here stroking her hair, kissing her neck, and whispering in her ear?! Maomao has given no indication that she would welcome his advances, but of course he doesn't care about that. He's out to seduce her. Dick. Joke's on him though, he's going to pay for stealing that chocolate from her. If for no other reason than he'll be left wanting more. Hmmm. That's probably a metaphor.

Actually, now that I've said that, I think that might be right. Jinshi is trying to his best to distract Maomao while stealing the fruits of her labor. Both literally in this scene as well as more generally in all of their interactions. Jinshi has been delighted as Maomao has risen to every challenge and passed every test. Unlike other women in the palace, Maomao doesn't swoon with a sultry look, she resists that, even if she isn't completely immune. He's intrigued already. And he'll be wanting more. I can only hope Maomao keeps him at a distance for awhile. At least long enough for him to really get to know her, understand and learn to respect her.

Her response to Jinshi this time was notably different from before when he flirted with her. This time he didn't use his looks (she couldn't even see him), or any flirty comments. Instead he gently brushed her braid aside and kissed the back of her neck then whispered his appreciation to her. I am once again curious about her past. Did she have anyone in her life to offer her physical affection? Also, thanking her and acknowledging her hard won skills? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's going to work on Maomao. So if Jinshi has a degradation kink then maybe Maomao has a praise kink. That should be fun for them.

But also, why did Jinshi want Maomao to make an aphrodisiac? Was it just for the concubines to use with the emperor?

Now that I've gotten to the end of the episode I've got to go back and ponder about the emperor sending Jinshi specifically to the back palace. Jinshi and his servant are chatting about an incident when a concubine invited Jinshi to her room and Jinshi describes the incident as

an indiscretion we cannot abide.

And I wonder who he means by "we." We as in the back palace? The empire? The harem hierarchy? The imperial family?

Then the servant states a little indignantly:

But to place you in the rear palace, and using your beauty as a means to test their true character...

Why so indignant on the behalf of the rear palace manger? He's got a high position. Power. Respect. By most metrics he's doing great and his placement in the rear palace should be seen as an honor. It would only be seen as an indignation if one were coming from an even higher position. And what's higher than the emperor's harem?

To which Jinshi laughs and responds:

Our emperor can be quite cunning. We all use whatever we're given.

What would be cunning about sending a handsome palace official to the harem to test their loyalty? Seems like a reasonable request. It's the emperor's perogative to appoint his officials as he sees fit. To use what he's been given. Is there some reason it is remarkable to send Jinshi specifically to the rear palace?

Then to what seems like a non sequitur (but isn't!) Jinshi starts talking, fondly, about how Maomao gave him a death glare.

I've never had anyone look at me so harshly in my life!

Really? Never? No one has ever glared at you? How novel... for a prince. I guessed that last episode with zero evidence just based on a twist I'd like to see, but I'm a lot more confident about it after this exchange.

It is also the link that explains how the conversation jumped from how unusual it is that the emperor sent Jinshi to the rear palace to his delightful experience of being glared at.

Jinshi being a prince also adds color to some of his behavior. His expectation that women will fall for his flirtations, his entitlement, sense of privilege, not to mention the deference he receives.

I'm so intrigued by this story. These characters are 💋🤌

If you liked this, you might like my review for episode 1.

Episode 1 review

Episode 3

#maomao #jinshi #the apothecary diaries #apothecary diaries #jinmao

[ineffablydelighted]

[How exploring the Ineffable Husbands' dynamic in Good Omens can help us figure out what the show/book is all about, Part 1/?]

Also called: This human has, apparently, too much time on her hands and will be trying to Effable the Ineffable for [...] hours.

Ah, Hello! 👋

I'm ineffably delighted to meet you all! 😇

Let's cut to the chase and bear with me as we try together to analyze further the subject of the day:

Aziraphale is in love with Crowley and I am pretty sure he is aware of that fact BUT 

[yes, there is a "but", do not erase me from the Book of Life just yet, let me explain first, homie 🥺] 

I do not believe he can comprehend WHY he is just yet, and what that would mean for him in terms of... well... EVERYTHING he ever stood for.

It will also be the perfect roots to answer the biggest question yet :

What is Good Omens all about, exactly?

[Yeah, it's a tough one. When I say "bear with me", I really insist on the fact that it will be LONG. I will try my best to make it fun to read and to allow some "natural breaks" but know that I would appreciate your unshared attention if you're willing to give it to me. 😇]

Although, would you have the chance to ask him about it (probably looking at a cup of tea as we would all do in Earthy fashion), Aziraphale would have somewhat of an answer to give you, probably in the range of:

"Because, deep down, Crowley is the nicest being I've ever known."

Is it false? No, Crowley IS nice. Swaggeringly nice, occasionally unhinged, but still. Nice.

And that is somewhat the core of the... "problem" for our soon-to-be Supreme Archangel [Yep, the pain is still fresh, thanks for asking, you're welcome for reminding you 😭👍] because, as much as Crowley learned nuances due to past experiences (Falling being, most likely, the most traumatic one,) Aziraphale remains bound to think in absolutes. And everything relates to THIS perfect meme right there:

[Whoever you are, person/entity who has done that, you have forever my utmost gratitude and respect]

I'm far from bringing anything new to the table here, but to Aziraphale, Crowley should NOT have fallen in the first place. Because of how nice he is. Crowley IS an angel, to him. In fact, I'll go even further by stating that, to Aziraphale,

Crowley is more of an Angel than ANY Angel in the "Main Office."

Let's present our other contestants, shall we?

When he ruled, Gabriel was an absolute a** and had an ego the size of, idk, at least A DOZEN GALAXIES. He made Aziraphale feel like... well... poop most of the time they interacted.

That is why, in S2 when Gabriel/Jim tells him "I love you", Aziraphale, even being and considering himself a "creature of love", happens to be utterly unable to either reciprocate or take the compliment. At this moment, later enhanced when he reminds himself of the Job case, he realizes he is able to feel, if not hatred, NOT love NOR admiration for somebody he should somewhat consider a role model.

That is very important for Aziraphale's present and future character development, especially considering Gabriel/Jim's own fate, so please keep that in mind.

Michael? Oh God, Same if not worse: too condescending and ambitious in the wrong way to inspire anything nice to anybody.

Sandalphon just does what they are told but can totally throw a punch if necessary.

Uriel is mostly cold, occasionally cruel, and can also be physically threatening.

[I love the actress, though. Gloria Obianyo deserves a Ph.D. in Resting Bitch Facing for her performance in Good Omens alone and I'm here for it.]

S2 Saraqael seems to be more layered but has also been hurtful to Aziraphale (especially when she ironized that he couldn't possibly be the 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle caster).

Overall, S1 Aziraphale refers to the "Main Office" Angels as "BAD ANGELS!" after their hostile encounter. We could see from his face he would have wanted to use harsher words but couldn't get past his forgiving, decent nature.

Before we talk any furfur-ther [Am I proud of this so-called pun? A-BSOLUTELEH 😎🤭], let's add a really important stone/layer to our favorite Angel's thinking: to him, it is simple maths:

GOOD = RIGHT, BAD = WRONG

And let's save it for later, shall we?

[Killgrave dear is just here to remind you you can take a break anytime to drink a glass of Talisker if you'd like, or, more so, if HE'd like. Also because that character is THE best David Tennant role on television - 10th Doctor being the worthy third, I let you guess which character is our second now - and I might have wanted to use this gif just to be able to say that, who knows? *whispers* Mysssteryyyy...]

Anyway.

To a being like Aziraphale, who mostly thinks in dichotomy, being an Angel requires one main requirement: being GOOD.

[Buy a farrrrrm and be good! Not just "pretendy" good but. properly. GOOD! - NO, I couldn't find the gif and YES, I'm mad about it, but since I'm also unable to make one myself, I'll just shut it.]

That is why he refers to the Main Office Archangels as simply being BAD.

At that moment, they had been mean to him, threatening, and, by doing so, they became somewhat active in Hell's Armageddon project. Making them "bad" angels, but, more so:

Bad at BEING Angels.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is, at heart, the penultimate goody-two-shoes: he does feel bad about himself whenever he does something bad/wrong such as lying (it has started to change, and I'll nuance that statement another time, but you get the grip).

He is constantly scared he might fall whenever he somewhat defies God's will or the idea he built in his head of what an Angel should be(have).

But have you paid attention to how his "Angelmates" NEVER seem to CARE about their own displays of, let's say "unconventional characteristics" for what should be the highest "Representatives of the sole concept of Good"?

Have you ever seen Gabriel or Michael being self-conscious about their narcissism and condescending tendencies? Uriel about their coldness? Saraqael about their sarcastic nature? Any of them about their use of violence? Of course not! They seem to be perfectly fine with it!

They own their characteristics, good AND bad.

Aziraphale does not.

Aziraphale is... soft. Even if he, at times, expresses regrets to be just that, he also applies it to his Angelic nature.

You know who else is soft?

Crowley.

Crowley is soft because he cannot kill children and takes it upon himself to LITERALLY DEFY BOTH GOD AND SATAN'S WILL TO SAVE SAID CHILDREN, including two annoying ones [especially the one who DARED to hit on Aziraphale but that is a topic for another day]

[MASSIVE Bildad the Shuhite fangirl here, consider yourselves warned.]

Crowley is soft because he cannot even kill GOATS.

Defying both God's and Satan's will to save kids? Yeah, eventually, okay.

Defying God's and Satan's will to save goats? Man, that's so effingly. more. powerful.

[Oh, look! A bird flying, normal thingy, nothing to see here, buh-bye!]

Crowley is soft because he proposes/"tempts" Aziraphale to "eat a spot of lunch", especially whenever his Angel experiences stress.

We have barely seen him eat, which might indicate he does not have such a strong taste for it personally. He only goes to the Ritz to enjoy Aziraphale's company and to watch him happily eat scrumptious, comforting foods.

[Okay, also because it morphed into a proper kink at some point but that is NOT today's subject, so stop trying to make me deviate from it! 😣]

Oh, and, before you bring that up, no, the alcohol motive is not relevant since he can, in all probability have a glass of Talisker in ANY sort of pub/restaurant in London.

[As a proper peated whisky lover who happens to be French, let me tell you this is NOT the case in my country and I'm super duper jealous of you, lads.]

Crowley is soft because he takes care of both Gabriel and Aziraphale's bookshop, even if it is clear he loathes the first and expressingly said he would not be a bookseller "even at gunpoint."

And, by "taking care of", know that I MEAN IT: he kept an eye on Jim, didn't wake him up when he heard him snore, answered any question he had, no matter how seemingly stupid they were [Even if Crowley, of all beings, cannot be anything but a raging "There is no stupid question, only stupid answers" representative] and offered him hot cocoa. As for the Booksho-P[uhhhhh *exhales in asthma*], he attempted to repair Jim's messy ordering twice and meticulously rearranged the place after ✨the Ball✨

[What do you mean, "he also Killgraved him into jumping out of the window?" HE ALSO STOPPED HIM FROM DOING SO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. #NotBiasedInTheSlghtestIndividual]

Crowley is soft because he shares his Bentley with Aziraphale. Which is a VERY. BIG. DEAL. considering it was, at the time, HIS LAST ONE AND ONLY PRIZED POSSESSION.

[Should I mention that the Bentley FALLS IN LOVE with Aziraphale or is debating on whether or not that falls into the Oedipian complex territory off-topic? Yes, I'll see myself out.]

Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale on countless occasions, even though, 99% of the time, that is pretty much unnecessary.

For real, guys: if Aziraphale had been discorporated in the course of his 6000+ years on Earth at any other given moment BUT on the eve of THE WAR with a capital "W", nobody in Heaven would have flinched.

[I do have a theory, though: maybe being re-incorporated takes quite a long time, which would have meant too many years apart from each other, hence the growing Damsel in Distress kink in Aziraphale, idk THAT IS NOT TODAY's SUBJECT, OKAY?!]

Also, Crowley is soft because "doing that makes him so happy".

Do you know who is supposedly "so happy" to save living things, aka GOD'S CREATIONS? Angels.

Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale even when it is ACTUALLY ENDANGERING for both of them

He risked: his life, his pretty comfortable position "he carved out for himself", both his Earthy and Infernal homes sort of speak, AND EVEN HIS CAR to save his Angel's bottom/help him out in the direst situations (like stopping time to stop SATAN HIMSELF.)

[Also his past/present/future existence altogether, but the Bentley is more important, as I'm sure we'll all agree.]

[That is a Class A Protective/Helpful Husband, right there.]

Crowley is soft because he encourages Aziraphale to follow his passion for ✨prestidigitation✨

Even though he is pretty... amateurish at it. Not only does he encourage him, but he also HELPS him when he accepts to be his dashing assistant on stage.

[Yes, he does tell S1 Aziraphale to stop doing magic because he "has no idea how demeaning that is" but I'm pretty sure it was BECAUSE of S2 1941's events. Also, #WeStan1941Crowley here.]

Crowley is soft because he works pretty hard to make two humans he barely knows fall in love.

Yes, he also does it to cover his and Aziraphale's 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle lie BUT don't tell me his amazed expression when he thought he was about to witness Nina and Maggie actually falling for each other was not the purest, sincerest of all.

Finally, even if I could come up with more examples,

Crowley is soft because he saved Aziraphale's books JUST because he KNEW and CARED that Aziraphale CARED about said books.

That also, in Michael Sheen's very own opinion [as stated by Neil Gaiman in S1 GO DVD commentary], shared by many fans, and myself very much included, marks the moment

Aziraphale falls in love with Crowley.

[I DARE you to tell me THIS is NOT THE LOOK OF LOVE PERSONIFIED, go on, fight meh.]

So. WHY did it happen at that moment in particular? Well, because, first of all:

As a proper Jane Austen fan, Aziraphale is a slow burner.

Also, to him, an actual Angel, love is everywhere, so differentiating one love from another might be more difficult for somebody who can feel it whether or not it is even their own.

BUT [have you started getting used to my "but"s yet or should I harass you some more?] Let's go back in time to see how every previous encounter (that we know of) led to that pinnacle, shall we?

[Oh and, YES, this sort of essay will be long, and NO, I had no idea how much it would be when I started writing it, and still haven't, tbh 🤷‍♀️]

During part 2, we will also dive a little bit deeper into what Good Omens is all about.

[Yeah... I figured we would all need a break at this point.]

More on that later, then!

Hope I kept your interest at a reasonable peak. See you soon, Angels ❤

Need help to find the rest of this analysis? I've got you covered! Follow me, Angel 😇

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#Ineffable Husbands #Good Omens analysis #Good Omens #Good Omens S2 #Aziraphale in love #Good Omens theory #Aziraphale #Crowley #Aziracrow #Effable the Ineffable #Philosophy #Good Omens is a philosophical essay disguised as comedic/satyric/romantic Fiction and I am here to prove it #A maniac woke up one morning and decided to overanalyze everything about her current favorite thing #even though that will not help her control her hyperfixation in the slightest #also too many hashtags but you know I have issues already

[daceydeath]

Ciggarettes and Cliche's (Part 3)

Pairing: Lee Felix x Reader Word Count: 5.3K Genre: Collage AU, enemies to lovers Warnings: Swearing, drinking, mature themes, cyber bullying, betrayal,

He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to stay away you couldn't even if it might cost you everything and leave you heartbroken you couldn't ignore him

You spent days with Felix's words running through your brain, he had been kind without expecting anything in return since he obviously woke and left your room with no one being the wiser. It puzzled you, sure he had said he wanted to be friends but you hadn't thought he meant it, it was surely a ploy he used to get girls to fawn over him but the more you thought about it the more you realized that couldn't be the case every girl that you knew who had been with him said he wasn't a boyfriend it was all physical. He didn't go out of his way to be particularly sweet to the he was down for sex and if they didn't show enough interest he didn't chase them he moved to the next one in line. But your confusion deepened when Nali came into the cafe on your next shift.

"How are you sweetie" she smiled brightly at you the moment she saw you behind the coffee machine.

"Hi Nali" you greeted her back hoping she was at least somewhat serious about talking to you, you hadn't seen her in person in weeks except through the monitor when she came to the apartment. Taking a counter seat she watched you work fora few minutes.

"You seem to be doing alright since you moved, I saw your grades went back up" She started as you placed her order in front of her.

"Yeah they have, I hope I didn't leave you in too much trouble in finding a roommate" you sighed softly.

"Oh no sweetie that was best for both of us, I don't have anyone to share with so I don't have to worry about them and you have got your grades up" she deflected happily "Although I thought my boyfriend would be around a bit more than his is".

"Oh I didn't know you were seeing someone" you grinned "Want to tell me about him?"

"He is so hot" you began for what you knew was going to be a long story "You probably saw him in passing before you moved but he is just perfect I had him over almost every night for a month after you left but he has been a bit cold lately and we had out first fight the other night and I don't know what to do".

"No, that's terrible what about?" you asked not knowing which of the guys she had spent time with she was talking about since Felix had said it wasn't him and you knew it wasn't Seungmin, Hyunjin or Minho either.

"He went out on the weekend to a friend of his and when I went to see him he told me to leave, it was so horrible he made a massive fool of me in front of everyone" she pouted looking actually sad and you felt terrible for her, it was one thing for him to be cold it was another thing all together for him to embarrass her.

"Why would he do that?" you mumbled concentrating on the next coffee you were making "that is so mean".

"He said we weren't together, that I was a stupid bitch to think he would want me, that he only fucked me because I'm easy and a slut and that I need to stop stalking him because he's been there and done that" you could see her eyes misting as you looked up placing the coffee to be collected.

"That is so shitty, you're amazing you should be with someone who treats you like you're a princess" you frowned taking her hand in yours and rubbing her knuckles soothingly.

"I even heard he's into some other girl" she sniffed softly.

"You should tell him to take a hike then he doesn't deserve you" you squeezed her hand in yours eyebrows furrowed as to why some one would treat someone they supposedly care about this way. You were terrible in these situations you wanted to be supportive but you didn't have the experience to actually know how to react, you had never been heartbroken over a guy, or been treated poorly by a boyfriend that would require having one. But you wanted to try the best you could to help Nali out of her sadness.

"I really thought Felix was different" she mumbled making your eyes widen in shock.

"Nali, I'm so sorry" you swallowed hard as she finished her drink. "Do you want me to sneak you a brownie to help you feel a bit better?"

"No please don't get in trouble for me, I better get going" she smiled softly standing up "I'll see you again soon" you watched her leave feeling absolutely horrible. You had been the one to ask who Nali was to the guys, you were the one who mentioned she slept with Seungmin in front of Felix and you were the one who Felix had told she wouldn't come back. You felt so responsible for the fact that you had just let Felix go downstairs and treat her so badly. Now you were rethinking everything, yeah he had been kind to you but what kind of arse hole says that to someone, he had called her names and hurt her he wasn't someone you should trust at all.

Your self blame only grew as your shift ticked by more customers coming and going until the crazier part of the night, the witching hour, was only a little while away. Your manager had noticed your down mood and told you to clock out a little earlier they could handle the crowds and you, who never took time off, could have a break. You thanked her, taking off your apron and hanging it up before slipping out the door as the first lot of inebriated customers started to appear. You slipped out the door not noticing Felix, Hyunjin or Minho and there harem of fan girls before you started walking up the street to go home, putting your earphones in you missed Felix call out to you and completely missed the look of disappointment that graced his handsome face as you pulled your hood up and briskly walked away.

The apartment wasn't quiet when you got back, You could here at least Innie in the kitchen banging around so you figured now would be as good as any a time to ask questions about Nali, since they all must have known of her if not actually known her. Slipping into you house slippers you padded down the hallway to find Seung sitting at the dinner table frowning at his phone and Innie cursing at the toaster while smoke curled towards the roof.

"I can't leave you alone for even a few hours can I? Already burning the place down" you rolled your eyes dropping your phone and purse on the bench and opening the fridge to get some water.

"Your back early" Innie smiled handing over the tea towel for you to wave the smoke off with.

"Yeah my boss said I could go early as a reward for being so damn good" you grinned back at him as Seung snorted as you popped the burnt toast in the bin and let Innie make a second lot.

"I wanted to ask you both something, about Felix" you started as you noticed the look the two of them shared "Well not just Felix, the three of them Hyunjin and Minho as well".

"You aren't dating any of them" Innie instantly added "Seung and I would never speak to them again if any of them hurt you".

"No, no, no, I don't want to date any of them, or catch anything from them" you defended quickly scrunching you nose up "But are they actually nice to the girls they see? Like I know they are fuck boys but they aren't going to like verbally abuse them or anything right?"

"What are you talking about?" Seung asked standing up and coming over to the bench the lean on it while he spoke to you.

"I saw Nali today, she said Felix screamed at her, called her a bitch and a slut, and treated her awfully" you explained.

"The one that just appeared last weekend?" Innie asked confused.

"I know she's your friend but you need to know she is crazy when it comes to Felix" Seung answered carefully watching your expression "The only reason she has hooked up with Minho, Hyunjin or me was to try to make Felix jealous. She called me Felix while we were having sex and she probably did the same to the other two. She's literally obsessed with him".

"That isn't what I asked Seung, I asked if they treat the girls they hook up with respectfully" you rebuffed him slightly not mad at his answer you were sure that Nali probably was in love with Felix but that didn't give him an free pass.

"Most of the time yeah" Innie still seemed slightly confused "I mean every now and again one girl will be convinced they are dating when they aren't they cant always be let down gentle".

"So he probably did scream at her and call her those things then?" you sighed.

"Why don't you just ask him? I thought you two were becoming friends?" Seung teased.

"I can't be friends with anyone who would treat someone like that" you replied watching both Seungmin and Innie raise their eyebrows "Your toast will burn Innie if you don't pop it now" you added looking behind him to the appliance.

"Ah thanks" he spun pushing the cancel button to prevent another smoke filled kitchen.

You went to change out of your work uniform and into something comfy to study in, both the guys knew you needed to study for another test that you had coming up so both were happy to only bother you to make you eat or drink and be ignored for the rest of the time. You had worked out a pretty easy routine when any of you had tests, essays or other important projects the other two would only bother you to insist the one studying eat but otherwise everyone tried to keep the apartment as quiet as possible. When Seungmin knocked on your door to get you to eat something you were quite happy to stretch and move around for a moment.

"Smells good Seung" You smiled gratefully sitting at the table and letting Innie place a plate of pasta in front of you.

"Actually this is all Jeongin's ordering skill" Seungmin laughed.

"Well then Innie you are my hero" You smiled at him softly batting your eyelashes making him chuckle at you.

"How much more do you have to study?" Seungmin asked through a large mouthful.

"I'm pretty much done" you sighed "It's one certain chapters and I think I have it covered actually".

"That's excellent, so do you want to take a break and have a movie night?" Innie asked happily.

"Sure, do we have any snacks because I can go get some" You grinned putting the last mouthful of dinner into your mouth.

"Actually we have been invited to a movie night" Seungmin explained "At Chan's place but he invited you along to because I quote 'she keeps you two in line' so we can all go if you like" You thought it over for a moment as you finished chewing.

"It's just a movie night? not a party?" you asked narrowing your eyes slightly.

"Just a movie night, promise" Seungmin snickered at you.

"Alright I'm in, but I'm not dressing up and I'll leave if you annoy me" you nodded.

"Your kidding?" Innie gaped at you.

"I hate parties Innie, I like movies" you rolled your eyes.

"I'll let him know we will be there in 35 then" Seungmin smiled patting your head as he cleared the table.

"Shit if we knew you would be ok with like hang outs we would have started doing this sooner, you could have made some more friends" Innie laughed.

"Please don't make me regret this" you groaned going to change into a hoodie that wasn't quite so tired, you had said you wouldn't dress up but you were still going to look like you were not as tired as you felt, you ran a brush through your hair and quickly wiped your face so you could put on a little mascara and concealer. Walking back to into the lounge the boys were texting before Seungmin looked you over as sighed.

"We going or what" you smiled glibly going to get your sneakers so you would be comfortable.

"This is why you don't get dates" Jeongin groaned behind you.

"No I don't get dates because I don't want to go on dates" you corrected leaving the apartment and making your way down to the garage to where Seungmin kept his car. He drove the 15 mins it took to get to Chan's just so he could reassure you that he would drive you home anytime you wanted. Chan opened the door to you after buzzing the three of you into the building a huge smile on his face seeing you flanked by your two room mates.

"Great the others are here on on their way" he stepped aside to let you in, slipping off your shoes you followed him into the main part of his apartment which seemed to just be a kitchen and very large lounge, couches, floor cushions and beanbags littered the floor "Make yourselves at home".

"Thanks" you smiled slightly awkwardly

"Oh right I should give you a tour" Chan chuckled pink dusting his cheekbones "That's the kitchen, up the stairs are the bedrooms and bathroom" he said walking towards the stairs gesturing for you to follow.

"This one is the bathroom, the one across from it is my room, the other two are Changbin and Han's room's. Seungmin said you have been studying pretty hard so if you need to rest my room is available and no one will bother you in there" he smiled guiding you back down the stairs when you found Seung and Innie both eating chips that they had stolen from Han who was looking at them in disbelief.

"Hi Han" you smiled waving from where you stood at the bottom of the stairs as Chan simple laughed and went to also steal some chips.

"Oh hi" he grinned "Chan said he had invited you but I didn't know if you would actually come".

"To be fair I was coaxed into agreeing before I had all the details" you bit your lip trying to not be awkward.

"Can I get you a drink?" Han asked realizing that the others were all helping themselves.

"Oh yes thank you" you moved towards him and the kitchen as the front door banged open again almost making you jump. Han pored you a coke handing you the large glass as voices boomed down the hall.

"I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't have been quite such a dick and she wouldn't be telling people you cussed her out like that" Changbin argued loudly his voice echoing off the walls.

"I wasn't a dick, well not a total dick she was screaming at me about how I'm mean to love her and be her boyfriend in a street full of people how exactly am I meant to reason with her" Felix snapped back from further down the hall. "Plus she threatened her, I wasn't letting that go".

"She was pretty fucking horrible about Choi and she isn't even hooking up with Lix she just lives there" Minho agreed loudly.

"Nali is a great lay but a fucking lunatic" Hyunjin laughed as Changbin finally made his way around the corner to see you wide eyed in his kitchen and stopped as Han carefully took the glass you had just sipped out of from your hands and guided you around the bench to Seungmin who looked furious.

"Why are we just standing in the hall big guy? Shit has Chan got a girl over finally?" Minho laughed sliding past Changbin only to see you looking small and sad beside Seungmin "Well fuck".

"Well fuck what? would you get out of the way?" Felix shoved Changbin forward so he and Hyunjin could get into the room "Oh". You swallowed hard looking at Felix before turning away to look towards Jeongin who was looking at you with sympathetic eyes.

"Do you want me to get you home?" Seungmin asked his voice sounding loud in the now silent room.

"No, I'm ok Seung, I'm not made of glass" you sigh as he tucks your hand in his and leads you to the couch to sit down.

"Hold on" you whisper letting go of his hand and moving back towards the kitchen where Changbin is getting a beer out of the fridge he stops to watch you as you lean across the counter to grab your glass not realizing your hoodie is riding up as you reach giving them all a view of the pale skin of your waist and the scar that resides there. Glass in hand you made your way back to the couch to sit beside Seungmin.

"So what are we watching anyway?" Chan asks trying to get the awkwardness to leave the room since you seemed to want it gone too.

"Well it was between an action movie or a thriller" Han replied "Because I am not sitting through another horror movie".

"Fair, should we vote or just put on one then the other?" Chan mused "What do you prefer Choi?"

"I like explosions" you smiled up at him sweetly.

"Action it is first then" he grinned back a cheeky glint in his eyes.

"Are we pandering to her all night?" Changbin whispered lowly "Because I can go get more snacks".

"If you don't have anything sweet I can go get my own" You offered leaning around Seungmin to look at Changbin who was still looking awkward.

"We have a dozen savory things but sweet doesn't go with beer" Chan frowned.

"That's aright salty is good too" you blinked trying to be as easy going as possible. "Actually, start the thriller and I'll go buy snacks, I shouldn't miss too much of it". You stood quickly and weaved your way between them to make your way to the hall.

"Nope, you aren't going alone" Innie shot up behind you.

"Yes I am, besides you lot need time to stop being awkward anyway" you shrugged stepping into your shoes and letting yourself out the front door.

It was cold but not freezing so you pulled your hood up and shoved your hands in your pockets taking your phone out only to double check the directions to the closest convenience store, you knew that either Seungmin or Jeongin would follow you after whatever yelling or argument had to occur to clear the air so you were happy to just wander out of that and by yourself ice cream and chocolate. The sound of jogging footsteps made there way towards you and you stopped to turn around surprised to see that all of them were closing in on your location.

"You are not walking alone at night in an area you don't know" Seungmin scolded "why didn't you wait for one of us?"

"Because I can, I am and I will" you raised an eyebrow challengingly "Because the awkward tension was suffocating and I would rather buy chocolate than sit in it.

"Yeah we are sorry about that" Changbin started his face going pink again in the glow from the streetlight.

"It's alright Changbin you are allowed to not like people I know, you are allowed to have opinions I can't fault you on that" you shrugged turning back towards your destination.

"You know you could head back and let Innie and I get you something, it's cold out here" Seung started trying to persuade you agian.

"There is no way you would buy enough chocolate now move it or go back, start the movie and wait for me" you grumbled as you continued to walk.

"Is she always this sassy?" Minho smirked.

"No sometimes she is bitchy and sometimes she's just mean" Seungmin replied drying catching up to you and swinging his arm around your shoulder again.

"He always that clingy with her" Hyunjin muttered so quietly you wouldn't have heard him if you weren't trying to listen to them in hopes of Felix apologizing.

"No but she's already heard Nali's side and is feeling a bit conflicted" Innie explained softly "He's just trying to keep her in a good mood".

"So she believes what the psycho said then?" Felix finally spoke his deep voice lower as he tried to keep himself from being overheard.

"Lix, Nali was her first friend when she moved here, she either doesn't care that she is being used by her or doesn't know my money is on the later" Innie continued.

"How do you mean?" Chan chimed in not really bothering to pretend they weren't having a conversation while they followed behind you.

"Nali knew that she was the one who answered the door com, she knew she was the only girl that lived there and she knew Felix had an interest in a mystery girl" Innie sighed dramatically "even though we have told him to stay away from her like that".

"I haven't done shit" Felix hissed.

"We know" Innie replied and you could almost feel the eye roll as you reached the end of the street to see the convenience store just across the road "but Nali is obsessed with you do you not think she would be happy to step on her to get to you?" you frowned slightly and Seung was on it instantly.

"Are we always this loud when being secretive?" he whispered making you jump slightly.

"Yeah you guys are terrible at it" you admitted as you stepped in front of the automatic doors heading straight for the chocolate. Innie appeared next to you holding a basket out and you simply started dropping things you wanted in not caring what any of them thought.

"Do you want ice cream?" Seung called from the freezer making you smile.

"Please" you called back taking the basket from Innie and moving towards the register as the others stood around watching you.

"You brought a lot of body guards with you Miss" the older man on the register chuckled looking from the guys to you.

"Yeah I can't be trusted to be alone at night in case something happens" you joked back.

"That's very decent of them but I'm sure your boyfriend could manage on his own" he continued bagging up all of your snacks.

"Boyfriend?" you laughed "I don't have one of those they are far too much work".

"Oh well in that case the one by the door definitely wants the job" He whispered conspiratorially giving you a wink, you spluttered and turned to look who he was talking about assuming it was going to be Seungmin of Jeongin instead finding Felix leaning against the panel beside the door looking at you in a way you couldn't totally put your finger on.

"I'll get it" Seungmin smiled waiving his card to pay and grinning at you while you glared at him.

"Maybe more than one of them" the man chuckled again making your face feel hot and you took you bag thanking him.

"What was that about?" Chan asked as you stepped back outside "You look flustered".

"He was asking which of my many body guards was my boyfriend" You cleared your throat beginning the walk back to Chan's apartment.

"And what did you say?" Hyunjin waggled his eyebrows teasingly at you.

"That I would prefer a dog" you rolled your eyes at him as Chan and Han burst out laughing at the expression on Hyunjin's face. The walk back seemed to go faster and in no time you were back beside Seungmin on the couch as Chan started the movie, the others were all either on the other couch or sprawled on the floor in beanbags drinks and snack littered about everyone.

It was a typical action movie buff hero, beautiful women, evil genius and more explosions and car chases than you could poke a stick at. The mind numbing stupidity of the dialogue distracted you, as you snacked on a bag of chocolate filled wafers, from your problems at hand and it wasn't until halfway through the film that you noticed something brushing across your leg. Glancing downward you noticed that Felix was in the beanbag closest to you and his foot was occasionally brushing against your pants, not that it mattered you doubted he had even noticed he was doing it until he got up to get another beer from himself, Chan and Han who were on the other couch with Innie. You had stopped paying attention to the movie but continued looking at the screen knowing that it would be less noticeable than if you just watched Felix move around. He sat back down in his bean bag but instead of the way he had previously been sitting he positioned himself with his head towards you his eyes on the screen as he sipped. You took another few wafers popping them into your mouth and lent against the arm of the chair your head propped up on your arm as the hero fought his way through endless henchmen while a nerdy side kick gave him information through an overly convenient earpiece. You were getting back into the story line when again something touched your leg, you covered your looking down by reaching for you glass that was on the table beside you, once again it was Felix except this time he had placed his hand around your ankle and his fingers were skimming across your calf in a pattern making you stiffen slightly. He squeezed your leg comfortingly before continuing his movements making you readjust yourself a little his fingers slipping beneath the cuff of your pants. The movie ended without you having paid any further attention to it, only focusing on Felix's fingers moving across your skin but with such a predictable story you could bluff your way through it easily enough.

"Are you alright for us to watch the next one while I let the alcohol soak up before I drive us home?" Seung asked softly as Chan scrolled to the next movie "I can tell you're tired".

"Yeah I'm fine" you yawned behind your hand trying to hide it.

"Cute, but if you're tired you can go lay down while we watch this one" Chan smiled looking over at you "You will be safe in my room you can lock the door".

"I don't want to be an inconvenience Chan" you shook your head blinking away the droop in your eye lids.

"You're not and I insist" Chan looked at you seriously raising his eyebrows at you and looking more responsible and fatherly than you expected making you sigh.

"Fine, whatever you say dad" you huffed as Changbin laughed loudly standing and weaving your way between the guys making your way to the stairs knowing that once the movie started you would come downstairs again anyway. You stepped into Chan's incredibly clean room and sat on the end of his bed looking at the books on his shelf and the posters on his walls eventually getting out your phone to look at your socials to see what other people were up to. Nali had posted pictures of herself and some other girls you knew at a bar, a couple of your co-workers had posted stories about a couple of funny customers and Felix had made a cryptic post about his plans for the night, you assumed to make everyone think he was at a party somewhere. Seungmin had been right about you being tired but that changed when you heard Felix's voice in the hallway between the bedroom.

"For the fucking last time stop fucking calling me" he groaned frustratedly his footsteps sounding like he was pacing.

"I was never your boyfriend, I was never actually interested in a fucking relationship I thought you understood it was only a 'I'm at a party and want to fuck thing' since after the last time we fucked you have fucked three of me friends" Felix was almost grinding his teeth at this point. "Fucking leave her out of this she lives with Seungmin and Jeongin of course she is going to be there its her fucking house" You realized that they must have been telling the truth about Nali now since Felix obviously meant you, you didn't hear what happened next as he had paced to the other end of the hall and then it was quiet again. You went back to your phone noticing that Nali had instantly posted a photo of her in tears with a caption about heartbreak and betrayal which you sighed at exiting the app and shoving your phone back in your pocket. A small knock sounded on Chan's door before it opened slightly and you made eye contact with Felix as he stepped into the room.

"I'm not sure if you heard that but I'm sorry if Nali is a bitch to you after this" he frowned slightly chewing his lower lip.

"I did hear and I don't think you said anything wrong" you gave him a small smile hoping he wouldn't feel as bad.

"I'm still sorry though, I don't know what she is likely to say or do next but if it's bad it's my fault" he continued just looking at you from across the room as a thick awkward silence fell over the bot of you.

"Felix why did you sleep on the floor of my room that night?" you asked suddenly his motives were always so odd to you and he felt like he was conflicted when it came to you.

"You were scared, I wanted to make you feel safe" he smiled shyly "I know we're opposites but I find myself worried about you".

"Thank you" you whispered looking down at your hands feeling flustered.

"I'll let you sleep" he blurted leaving the room quickly to go back down stairs as you laid down on Chan's bed falling asleep fairly quickly due to how tired you were but it didn't last long as you woke up to Seungmin shaking you lightly and calling your name.

"Good you aren't dead" he joked stupidly as you rubbed your eyes and glared at him before getting of Chan's bed and straightening the covers again.

"Movie already over then?" you mumbled following him from the room and down the stairs only to stop fully awake at the bottom of them. The movie was still playing but none of them were paying attention Felix looked angry again but so did Jeongin and Chan, Hyunjin was typing something while Minho was filming something on the balcony.

"The fuck?" you frowned making Han look up at you.

"Oh you're awake, hungry?' he made his way over to the kitchen as Seungmin steered you using your shoulders away from everyone so Han could potentially feed you or order something for them to eat.

"I could eat" you replied suspiciously as Han went through the fridge "I'll just get my glass I'm thirsty" you smiled moving to escape Seungmin's hands and pulling out your phone as you did to see you had been tagged in something that was obviously blowing up based on the amount of replies clicking on it Nali's voice filled you ears.

"So my now ex best friend is pregnant with my boyfriend, she was my room mate before she left to whore her way through his friends and now she has gotten knocked up" She sobbed as your brain short circuited and everyone turned to look at you. You looked at Felix who looked at you with angry but also sad eyes then you hit Nali's number and waited as it rang for her to pick up.

"Nali! you fucking filthy cunt" you snarled into the phone making Innie and Hyunjin's jaws drop "You take the video down now and make an apology or I'm taking this to the cops".

"It's just a joke sweets don't over react" she simpered into the phone obviously taken a back by your anger.

"Over react? I'm going to get you expelled if you don't take this down not to mention what will happen when I sue you" you growled hanging up and meeting Felix's eyes again although this time they seemed proud .

"Seung, Innie download everything you can, the video, the comments, the shares, everything, Please" you whispered feeling overwhelmed as you quickly began to do the same.

"We already have" Changbin spoke gently to you.

"Good, thank you" you smiled weakly before your eyes went wide and you ran for the stairs.

"Choi?" Han yelled after you as you slammed the bathroom door shut and threw the contents of your stomach up in the toilet bowl. The realization that so many people would now think this was true was making you feel disgusting.

a/n: Thank you taking your time to rad this, your comments, likes, reblogs and kindness are so appreciated xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @bakedlilgoonie, @shiy, @is2cb97, @beautifulixr, @skyhold-tara, @army-stay-noel, @skizzel-reblogs, @facelesswrittes, @animehideout

#lee felix x reader #lee yongbok x reader #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids angst #skz angst #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #bang chan #lee know #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #college au #18+ content #18+ minors dni #bad boy felix

[oldmanenjoyer]

Gimmi something angsty like I’ve been digging for that pt wise and I can’t find SQUAT

It started off somewhat normal, if you could call it that.

Stress over debt and bills and such had led to a bit of an episode for Peppino. You did your best to sit through it with him, giving him water and rubbing his back as you tried to get him to breathe with you. But then it wasn't so normal.

Suddenly, he was gripping his chest, dizzy and hardly able to sit up straight, much less stand. It scared you, so bad. You practically dragged the man onto his feet, rushing out to your car to drive him to the hospital (an ambulance bill would only send him into a worse fit, you were sure).

As you drive, Peppino did his best to reassure you through the pain in his chest and the breathlessness in his lungs. Sure, he was scared too, shitless even! But he saw you struggling not to cry while you were driving and suddenly he wanted to push all his worries aside to tend to you.

It wasn't possible, but he did squeeze your hand and smile at you, if strained. And it kinda helped. A little.

You weren't straight up sobbing when you both arrived at the hospital, at least.

The nurses didn't let you follow him into the examination rooms. You had to wait in the lobby with everyone else, other anxious people awaiting news of their loved ones. They watched you pace a hole into the tiles, a few even joined you, if only to help ease their own stress.

Did it help? Not for you, but the others, maybe.

When a nurse finally called your name, you raced after her. Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest and also not beating at all. Worst case scenarios flew through your head, horror stories of heart attacks and the suffering left in their wake.

You fretted, hardly able to feel the hand of the nurse on your shoulder, and wondered how Peppino was going to continue if this was well and truly something dangerous. It made you feel dizzy to think about. He didn’t deserve that! Not after everything! And-

“Hey,” the nurse called, and you snapped back into reality, “it’s okay. It wasn’t a heart attack.”

It took a moment for the words to process. But once they did, a tidal wave of relief flooded your body. Tears streaked down your cheeks, and you sobbed to her, so grateful to her as though she was the one who saved Peppino from a nonexistent heart attack.

She chuckled, patting your shoulder as she led you along. “It’s alright. It was just a pretty severe panic attack. He was hyperventilating, and that’s what cause all the symptoms. You did right bringing him here, though. He could’ve fainted and hurt himself pretty bad if he was alone.”

You nodded along. “How is he?”

“He’s recovered. We’ve given him some meds to help him relax, but I’d look into professional help for the future.” She passed you a card with various names scribbled on it. “It could help prevent panic attacks like these, or at least make them less severe.”

You nodded again and pocketed the note. That would be dealt with later. For now, all you wanted to do was see Peppino and smother him in kisses.

The room he was in was dimly lit. Peppino himself was laid out on a bed, eyes closed and breathing slow. A heart monitor next to him beeped quietly not to disturb the tranquil atmosphere.

“He’s been asking for you a bunch.” The nurse whispered to you, as you stood and just took in the sight of him alive and well. “The whole time, really. He wanted you to be there very badly, but sadly he can’t really hold your hand while we’re doing tests.”

You walked forward, another vague nod of your head all you replied with. Your heart ached to think he wanted you there as much as you wanted to be there for him, but such wasn’t the thing to dwell on. Instead, you sat in the chair already pulled up to his bedside and picked up the hand connected to an IV.

“Peppino.” You called, voice hushed and low. He sighed, but turned towards you, brows furrowing. “You asleep, hon?”

It took a moment, but Peppino blinked his eyes open. He focused on you, and you smiled. He smiled too, big and goofy and no doubt pleased to see you.

“Hey,” you said, squeezing his hand, “welcome back.”

He murmured some stuff in Italian from deep in his chest. It was hard to hear, so you just leaned in and peppered the side of his face in kisses. He practically purred.

“Ti amo.” He sighed, and that you understood.

“I love you.” You whispered back.

And you continued to kiss on him until the nurse finally told you it was time to go.

#don't tempt me pal i am an angst fiend you should see my other writing blog #i'll write practically anything angsty sans cheating #peppino spaghetti x reader #peppino x reader #pizza tower x reader #be aware this probably isn’t proper hospital procedure I just wrote what felt right

[xjulixred45x]

Its me or the collector/hunter would be such a mama's boy if they had one?

OMG THEY WOULD REAAAAAALY BE!!!

Hunter so SO needs someone who really cares about and loves him just the way he is, maybe a head of the Emperor's coven(or Even maybe Darius S/o??) or some older scout than the one who insists on treating him like a child (WHAT HE IS) and at first he doesn't have a clue or idea of how to act on this (thanks Belos) but eventually he becomes less rigid and rude and more a bit embarrassed but he doesn't avoid it.

Hunter would melt if a person he considers a mother figure gave him words of affirmation and told him how much he is worth, HOW GOOD HE IS and that she is PROUD of him. bby would start crying right there.

He would definitely be very protective of this mother figure, I don't think he would prevent her from going on missions or do her work, but he makes sure that they go together and he always goes in front of her, he will always defend her if things get ugly, he even received hits from her. He acts like it's nothing or that he's not being a favorite at all, but everyone knows it.

(If he calls her mama/mom/mother or whatever he BEGGS THE TITAN to swallow him and spit him out into the boiling sea. But maybe he'll talk to her about Willow for dating advice).

The Collector (or Collie) would definitely be another mama's boy, only obviously more extreme due to his almost god-like powers, but he could definitely use someone to guide him firmly but gently to learn mortality and family love well after the history. something like his own Eda.

Seeing it that way, perhaps this maternal figure could be 1- or one of the archivists who stayed with him in his days on earth (being more like brothers) or an older person very interested in the mythology of the titan and others ( maybe even part of the tribe that hunted them and that worshiped the collector, but on a much healthier spectrum obviously).

In any case, when this person is not only willing to listen to the collector's rants but even play with him as much as possible, without wanting to get rid of him and giving him mature and motherly love, he is surprised, yes, but he likes it! and wants more! so he even calms down a little with physical affection from this maternal figure.

Imagine if this mother figure sang for him to sleep🥹I think it would give Collie such a hit of dopamine that he couldn't sleep without her after that, at least for the first few months.

He doesn't like it very much when she scolds him for having been rude or careless, not only because he is a somewhat spoiled child with no sense of consequences, but because he doesn't like to think that his mother hates him :( if he thinks about it too much he will ugly cry.

although he definitely apologizes afterwards and gives a lot of hugs (please give him hugs).

Overall, GIVE THESE TWO LOVE. THEY DESERVE IT.

Shares, reglogs and comments are very welcome!

#headcanons #fem reader #the owl house #the owl house the collector #the owl house hunter #the owl house x reader #the owl house collector #the owl house hunter noceda #hunter noceda #hunter needs a hug #the collector x platonic reader #the collector x reader #platonic collector toh #toh platonic #toh collector #toh x reader #toh hunter #toh hunter x reader #hunter x reader #platonic #platonic reader

[sapphic-agent]

Hopefully, this ask won’t get you in trouble. If you feel it does, then feel free to disregard this. Or if you don’t feel comfortable or confident talking about it, cause it does involve talking about ships.

But it somewhat feels like Horikoshi for the later chapters seems to be catering for same sex pairings, like Midoriya always being around Bakugou, or Ochako’s most significant moments now being around Toga. At least to me.

And the fact he seems to be focusing on same sex pairings certainly isn’t the problem.

The problem is the fact is the pairings he’s focusing on are f****** shit!

BakuDeku is an angry asshole bossing around and being a d*****bag to a boy that has been conditioned to think so highly of his abuser. This is a hop, skip and a jump away from Stockholm Syndrome.

Togachako, imo, is slightly worse than BakuDeku (but not by much) simply because it’s a very one sided relationship where one partner always has to cater to the problems of the other with no sign of returned love or reciprocated love. I wouldn’t trust Toga to know when she’s had enough of my blood. Why should I believe she would know where to stop drinking Ochako’s blood? And despite the images throughout their fight, like Toga GROPING Ochako, Horikoshi, for some disturbing reason, tries SO hard to paint this as a CUTE couple. (Hell, the dude could be showing Toga literally EATING Ochako and somehow paint it as an endearing thing…)

Why is Horikoshi banking on these toxic forms of love for the LGBTQ when he’s had more HEALTHIER couples?!?

TodoDeku? Tsuchako? IidaDeku? Minachako?

Hell, there are other pairings that were literally already there!

MomoJirou!

Mirio and Amajiki!

It’s just…it’s baffling why BakuDeku and Togachako are paraded as these fantastic M/M and W/W ships when they are anything BUT.

I have a sapphic couple in their wedding dresses as my pfp and my user is sapphic-agent... I'd honestly be impressed if someone could accuse me of homophobia😆Feel free to submit any LGBTQIA asks :)

In the case of TogaChako, I just think Toga herself is queer-bait. Among BakuDeku and other queer ships becoming popular, good old Hori probably thought to himself, "What's the best way to capitalize on this?" without actually putting any thought or care into it (like with Bakugou's redemption once he started to become popular). So he made Toga canonically bisexual (I'm like 90% sure she wasn't originally intended to be bi as she was way more infatuated with Izuku than Uraraka initially). And she's bad rep to boot. Horikoshi is making his only canonically queer character a predator... that's not a good look.

I even like Toga. Or, I liked how much potential she had at the beginning of the series. She was original and I liked her quirk. He could have given her a lot of depth, but nah let's just make her creepy and a predator mfers will eat it right up... And he was right unfortunately.

What makes it worse is that Uraraka has to be at the center of Toga's advances (again, WHY THE GROPING PANEL). Idk if it's because she's the main girl or what, but she deserved better than this.

(Tbh, I know she's Izuku's LI, but her and Tsu are way cuter and a lot healthier than her and Toga)

BakuDeku I feel like is part of that queer-baiting. Look, the fact is that it will never be canon. We know it, the shippers know it (even if they feign delusion), and Horikoshi knows it. But that doesn't mean Hori isn't milking it for all its worth. Do you see how the shippers go nuts when Izuku and Bakugou are in the same panel together? The entire MHA feed will be filled with it here on Tumblr for weeks. They eat that shit up and Horikoshi knows that. That's part of the reason why he forced reconciliation between them, so that he'd have more content for them to froth at the mouth over.

#mha critical #bnha critical #anti bakudeku #anti togachako #queer baiting #anti bakugou katsuki #toga critical