#but that truth can also coexist alongside the truth that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

matan4il · 10 days

Note

I heard many allegations from my friends that Israel is explicitly founded as an "ethnostate", and claimed that "having a secular state instead of an apartheid state" would solve many issues of the ongoing conflict. What's some advice to give when discussing with people using such strong terms to describe Israel?

Hi lovely!

I honestly hope that your friends are even willing to listen to the answer. One of the big problems we have, is that it's easy to make up a lie demonizing Israel to people willing to automatically believe the worst about the Jewish state. It takes time, effort and a lot of words (which is taxing for both sides) to explain the truth. So there has to be willingness to listen and learn. I hope your friends prove worthy of your efforts. *hugs*

Okay, so here's the thing about the term "ethnostate." It means a state with a specific ethnic majority (unlike an immigrant society), but most people using this term to vilify Israel do it as if it means "pure ethnostate," which is a state with only one ethnic group having citizenship and rights. In other words, while Israel is a Jewish state in the sense that it is a Jewish-majority state, they use the term as if it means that Israel is a Jew-only state. But Israel isn't a pure ethnostate, and in fact, that doesn't exist anywhere in the world. In Israel, 26% of the population is not Jewish (21% of Israelis are Arabs, 5% belong to other non-Jewish groups).

More than that, Israel has never been interested in being a Jew-only state. I know the narrative of these people is that Israel intentionally committed an ethnic cleansing, expelling Arabs, but that's not the case. The Arabs started a war against the Jews (which they referred to as a "war of extermination") and at a certain point, the leadership called upon the Arab population to leave, so they can make way for the Arab armies which would invade Israel once it would declare independence. One historian in a documentary I watched about this, said that about 80% of the Arabs fled of their own accord, about 10-15% fled because, once the war started, there was also violence between the Arabs themselves (settling scores under the cover of the fighting), and the rest, which means 5-10% of the Arabs, were expelled by lower ranking Israeli army commanders, due to those locals' hostility, violence, and unwillingness to accept the new sovereign Israeli state. Meanwhile, Arabs who were willing to accept Israel, who did not take arms against the Jews, were allowed to stay and become citizens. Those 120,000 Arabs became the foundation of the 2 million Israeli Arabs today. More than that, Israel actually promoted a plan to allow about tens of thousands of Arabs back and give them land, so long as they were willing to accept the new Israeli state, and not take arms again against its Jewish citizens. Only a really small number seized that opportunity (in part because they were still at the stage where they thought any day now, the Jewish state would be dismantled by the Arabs anyway), but those who did are, once again, proof that Israel wasn't into ethnic cleansing.

Bottom line is that the partial ethnic cleansing of Arabs wasn't a result of the Jewish refusal to live alongside Arabs, it was a result of the Arab refusal to live as citizens of a Jewish state, or in an Arab state which would coexist with a Jewish one, it was a result of the Arab refusal to accept the Jews as equals.

Sometimes, I feel really bad for Arabs who did not want the war, who could have lived at peace with the Jews, but their leadership and society forced the war on them. Other times, I remember they could have stayed there, remained peaceful towards Jews, like the 120,000 Arabs who were immediately a part of Israel once it was established. I also remember that they could have spoken up against the war before it broke out, at that stage when everyone was sure the Arabs would exterminate the Jews in a matter of months at most. If they would have spoken up then, it would have been them speaking up against the ethnic cleansing and intended genocide of Jews. Where were they then? Where were their voices when the Arabs were considered the strong side?

And I remember Petach Tikva, a Jewish moshava established in 1878, and how the Jews founded a new water well, that the Arabs benefitted from as well, after they had polluted the existing water well with cattle carcasses. I remember that when the Jews started working in agriculture there, they allowed Arabs to come and live with them in this small Jewish community (22 Muslims and 2 Christians), I remember the Arabs said, "Al-bracha ind al-yahud," the blessing is with the Jews, meaning they recognized the Jews were doing something right, and the Arabs themselves were benefitting from this. I remember the Arabs complimented the Jews on how hard working they were in the fields. And I remember that none of it mattered, and that by 1886 (just 8 years after its founding), Petach Tikva was targeted in an organized Arab attack, where one woman was murdered, beaten to death (Rachel Haddad Ha'Levi), and 5 people were injured, including Rabbi Aryeh Leib Frumkin (the great grandfather of Rabbi Jonathan Sacks), who the Arabs thought they had beaten to death. There was no State of Israel yet, there was no "theft" of land, Petach Tikva was founded on land bought and paid for, there was no occupation, there was no ethnic cleansing, no discrimination of Arabs, and yet seeing the Jews start to build themselves up as equals, in a community of their own, not just as second class citizens in cities where they were always a vulnerable, undefended minority, was enough to launch this violence.

To drive this point home, you can ask your friends about the ethnic cleansing of Jews by Arabs, which occurred in the Land of Israel, and are they opposed to that? Hebron and Gaza City in 1929. East Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria (re-named by the Jordanains during that year the West Bank) and the Gaza Strip in 1948. There are currently ZERO Jews in what is supposed to become the Palestinian State, and Mahmoud Abbas, the president of the Palestinian Authority, promised it would stay that way. I wouldn't call the Palestinian-ruled territories a pure ethnostate, because they do have small non-Muslim, non-Arab minorities (although those minorities have been shrinking in size due to persecution since Israel gave over control of these areas to the Palestinians in the 1990's), but in terms of my specific minority group, I can't ignore that these territories are Jew-free, and that the future Palestinian state is meant to remain ethnnically cleansed of Jews. So, if your friends truly mind ethnically cleansing, will they call out the Palestinians on that? Would they vilify and demonize the future Palestinian state, the way they do Israel?

Back to Israel today, and the other allegation. According to the law, ALL Israeli citizens are to be treated the same, regardless of faith or ancestry. The apartheid in South Africa was a system where racism didn't just exist in society, it was coded into law. That means by law, government officials could only ever be white. It means the citizen rights of non-whites were by law limited, either reduced or revoked completely. That's not the case in Israel. Here, Jews and non-Jews enjoy the exact same citizen rights. For example, non-Jews were members of the Israeli parliament since our very first elections (mad respect for Seif el-Din el-Zoubi, who saved the 6 Arab villages that his family inhabits in Israel, by insisting that they don't join the fighting against the Jews, and was elected a member of the Knesset in 1949, and was even appointed at one point as its Deputy Chief). And here's a former Israeli Arab minister and member of Knesset, Isawwi Frej, refuting the apartheid allegation himself:

Also, for the record, Israel IS a secular state. The law here is secular, not the laws of Halacha (which is actually why some ultra orthodox Jews are anti-Zionists. Not because they're against a Jewish state in the Land of Israel, but because the State of Israel isn't Jewish enough in terms of its rule and laws for their liking). Israel IS Jewish, but in the same way that the US is Christian. There are certain cultural influences and indications, but religion doesn't rule the state, and there is more than enough room for people of religious minorities to practice their faith, and have all of their rights and freedoms.

I hope this helps! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

181 notes · View notes

very-feral-lesbian · 1 year

Text

the season six finale has officially become the lowest rated episode of 911 ever. here's my thoughts as to why season six as a whole is bad. this is long. it is needed.

objectively, the show has become repetitive.

kirsten reidel has no creativity when it comes to the storylines of buck and eddie. i am going to be focusing a lot on buck and eddie during this talk due to the fact that they have been the most neglected characters when it comes to relationships, and because there has been some serious, queerbaiting throughout the season alongside the worst of the show's writing.

this is our third love interest that buck has had that was representing one singular aspect of himself that becomes suddenly prominent due to the plot at the time. ali made buck realize that he needed someone who was going to appreciate his line of work and that it was a non-negotiable part of himself. abby served as a tool for buck to realize he could be in a serious relationship involving something more than sex. and now with natalia, she just represents this part of his life where he gets himself into near death situations and how to deal with them. these are all important aspects to buck’s personality and life; however, they don’t represent him as a whole.

buck deserves someone who knows him for all parts of who he is, and this show refuses to do that, because if we go from a logical standpoint, if eddie was a woman, and they still had the kind of relationship that they have now, they would be together. their personalities match, they are fucking coparent, and their lives are parallel to one another. 75% of their storylines outside of the emergencies at work are intertwined and coexist with one another.

the only other people with such interconnected storylines are the other couples and the families.

yes, hypothetically if they introduced a character who is basically like a woman version of eddie, and genuinely had this chemistry with buck then i wouldn't be mad. yet they actively choose people who do not have chemistry with him. especially with natalia having chosen a woman who failed a chemistry read with him (oliver) for a fucking romance movie. how are we, as an audience, supposed to ignore their lack of chemistry?

and i will say there was also something that happened in an interview with oliver that made me mad. as we have seen throughout the show, chris has become one of, if not the most, important person to buck outside of his sister. he fathers chris like he wished his father did to him. and oliver has even discussed this in interviews before, stating that buck is coparenting with eddie. but in his most recent interview, he made it seem like the idea of parenting is completely new to buck.

i don’t wanna put the blame on oliver, but the way that he is speaking so differently within such a short amount of time about these relationships, indicates that there was a change at some point. because during the second interview, it was very obvious that they were treating Buck like a second parent to christopher. they said that he was giving him the parental love that he never had. and now they are acting like buck has never experienced what it’s like to be a parental figure, which we have seen (and been told in the past) is the furthest thing from the truth.

before i get into eddie’s relationships, i do want to point out a couple things that also did make me mad this season that are smaller, but still important.

there was a scene between hen, karen and hen's mom when denny was trying to have a relationship with his father. hen's motherly "said that a boy needs his father". this is homophobia. it’s not even subtle. saying to two fantastic mothers of a child that that a child needs a father figure to grow up correctly. this show prides itself on having diversity, although a negligent amount. having a black lesbian family can go so far and be great representation. but now they are just throwing all of their work away by having this character say the most homophobic shit.

in general, the show is very good at not including repercussions of actions or situations. we have not gotten discussion about athena‘s father since the episode about him. they completely abandoned hen's medical storyline, giving an unjust ending that felt incomplete. and bobby’s storyline about that sponsor of his was just dropped like nothing. yes this happens a lot in procedural dramas. however, that doesn’t mean it should happen. this show is nothing without these characters, they make the show. yet, they set up all these gigantic plot lines only to not follow through or provide any insight about how it’s impacting the character going forward, leaving so many things feeling incomplete. and this leads me to eddie.

last time that we saw eddie date, christopher literally ran away from home to bucks because he was upset. and now, with zero resolution about christopher‘s feelings, with little to no talks about it, eddie has allowed chris to have information regarding a woman that he might possibly date before even dating her. this makes no sense for who eddie is as a person. his number one priority is his son, and he has made that clear several times that his son comes before dating. why suddenly is he spreading this information to christopher like it’s nothing? yes, chris has grown up a lot since then, but it was still an unresolved plot line that heavily impacted two of our main characters, but it was dropped like nothing.

i want to talk about the couch theory. oliver had hinted that the couch theory was very important and was going to come to a head at the season finale. i find it extremely difficult to believe that the couch theory that has been set up since the beginning of this season was created to be finalized with a character that we have seen for less than 10 minutes of screen time and has been in less than three episodes. you cannot begin to tell me that all of this work towards this metaphor that has been beautifully written is now just finished with a random character, that we know little to nothing about except her job. hypothetically, if we go with the idea that this was what it was meant to be from the beginning, they did a terrible job doing it. that is really undeniable. but if the originally story involved buddie due to the heavy involvement of eddie and chris in this metaphor, why change it? there have been undeniable parallels throughout the season and an almost frame by frame shot of buck and christopher doing the exact same thing on eddie’s couch, only for the answer to buck's "couch problem" to be natalia? i dont buy it.

as for this season six finale, it was a fucking disaster. for a drama about fire fighters, for all they have been through, a bridge collapse is nothing. there was no moment where i thought one of our main characters were dead. there was no intensity and very little emotion about the scene, except from maddie.

it was only made worse by the jumpcut at the end where all the characters are just fine. eddie had several broken ribs? nope, he's all healed, let him cheer and jump in the air. chim had a rod through his abdomen (that he proceeded to pull out because despite him being a paramedic, he definitely wouldn't know proper procedure)? he's perfectly fine, no mention of any repercussions of that injury. and cap had no injuries after being crushed by a literal bridge? of course, makes perfect sense!

when comparing this season finale to other plot lines like the tsunami, the earthquakes, the texas fires, the lightning strike, the firetruck on bugs leg, and countless others, this felt so subtle. and it was only exasperated by the last 20 minutes of the episode feeling incredibly out of place, like someone wrote it without seeing the first half of the script.

in general, i think that if 911 continues to have the same show runners and writers from this point forward, it is going to be a repetitive nightmare of a mess of a procedural drama. it is no longer good, there is no creativity in the show anymore, they have created these backstories for all of their characters and refuse to follow through with them.

i have loved this show and the community of 911 since season two when I started watching it, and it is undeniable that there have been some masterpieces of storytelling in the show. nothing will ever beat the tsunami, or any of the "_____ begins" episodes. that is where they peak. they peak when they focus on their main characters and showing their history and how human they are. and yet with every new episode, they undo the work.

i don’t like to throw queerbaiting around for a plethora of reasons, but season six has changed my mind on that. if they truly created the couch theory just to have it end up with natalia, then why include buck being on eddie’s couch then parallels it to their son? why would you cast someone who failed a chemistry test with your main character to be that character's love interest? i legitimately want a reason. because at this point it is just homophobia. they don’t want to do the storyline because it would mean that two more of their characters are queer. and it seems like they want the minimum diversity possible. they already have one gay couple, so why have another? they already hit the gay diversity mark.

there’s a reason that this episode is the lowest rated episode of 911 of all time. If ABC does not listen to 911 fans, season eight will be the last season of the show.

191 notes · View notes

finnlongman · 1 year

Text

At some point I really do need to write that article that both highlights the flaws in O'Donnell's anti-homoerotic argument and argues with Sheehan about what makes CFD homoerotic.

Every time I reread O'Donnell's book, I'm struck by how he presents his argument only by shutting down the possibility of an alternative reading. I realise why he does that, contextually, but I think it does nobody any good to pretend that multiple readings (normative and queer alike) can't coexist. "This is not homoerotic." This is not necessarily homoerotic. That doesn't mean the possibility for homoeroticism is non-existent, and that's a tension I wish people in this field were readier to acknowledge.

It's also reductive to assume that everybody exploring queer possibilities is operating "within a critical lens in which all love is sexual", or to use the term "sexual reading" as though it's synonymous with "queer reading" or "homoerotic reading". After all, not all queer love is inherently sexual, although that is often an important facet of it; when I suggest a queer reading I'm by no means automatically assuming that everybody involved is banging.

As I've said before on my blog, a queer reading is about opening up new possibilities and new ways of exploring texts, free from the limitation of assuming everybody in the story is cishet or conforms to modern expectations of gender and sexuality. It's about looking at how gender and sexuality and affection are constructed within that cultural and literary context, and how certain elements of a narrative transgress, undermine, or question those norms -- not about ignoring context or making claims about authorial intention or believing you've stumbled upon the secret, sole truth about a story.

As such, I don't think there's anything incompatible about Sheehan's reading of the scene as homoerotic, and O'Donnell's reading of it as normative affection between foster brothers. Those two readings can -- and should -- exist alongside each other as different layers and lenses.

At the same time, I have serious problems with building a homoerotic reading only on the foundation laid by the gae bolga and the manner of Fer Diad's death -- equating homoerotic tensions with an act of grotesque violence. While I don't deny that that can be a starting point, I don't think it's the end of the story, and I'd like to focus more on other elements, as I think that's been overly dominant in discussions to date.

I'd also like to incorporate Fer Diad's poem from Stowe, the 'leth mo chroidhe' verse and the part where he expresses a desire to be buried with Cú Chulainn, because I think those contribute usefully to the discussion here, but are usually left out, because most discussions don't include Stowe.

But I am quite busy and tired and I don't know if now is the right time in my career to write an article that's basically arguing with everyone, so I guess this will remain on my to-write list forever, and never get written.

#comrac fir diad #tain bo cuailnge #cu chulainn/fer diad

31 notes · View notes

elytrafemme · 2 years

Note

Uh... so I finally finished my analysis of chapter 29....Hours after chapter 30 has been published... Oops! I'll read it tomorrow, but for now, enjoy a link to my ramblings instead of a long ask because the word count is 2,910! :D https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IaWhaEahPMfeZ1qRba3qwl3yPbifsCjI5-2wLMBFJv4/edit?usp=sharing The link wouldn't work properly because tumblr is broken so you'll just have to copy and paste it, sorry! <333

HELLO MY FRIEND. I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I AM GOING TO REPLY TO YOU NOW THANK YOU SO MUCH! <3

“Why should I make my bed in the morning if I just going to mess it up after I go to sleep again.” <- THIS I am forever awed as to how WELL u get cs!Tubbo’s character you always make me feel like i’ve done my due justice writing him bc u always GET IT u are so fucking cool. this this this this THIS this is how he THINKS!!!

“Destiny is not based in logic. Destiny is a belief that comes from a strong emotional conviction that no action a person makes can change the future. So when it comes to cs!Tubbo’s own mentality, he isn’t logical at all.“ YES A THOUSAND PERCENT! the thing about him with destiny is that he thinks about it in terms of patterns, meaning that it FEELS logical to him but in actuality! he’s just predicting something with the evidence he has and the immense biases that go alongside it, and what he’s predicting is literally the entire course of his life. it’s reckless and it’s non logical in every possible way and that is how he views the world.

we call ranboo the dsmp enjoyer but REALLY it shouild be tubbo with these damn au assignments UR RIGHT!

there is a LOT that goes into him making these constant comparisons but some things i’d like to highlight is (1) you are so right about these biases his self hatred gets in the way of logic SO MUCH TOO! (2) his comparisons with himself are one thing but when he compares other people to people in the past it usually reveals a deep misunderstanding in who those people are, for example ranboo and quackity those two are BARELY anything alike but tubbo has this very strong association between them that is so unfounded in anything but his belief that he is just like schlatt WHEN HE ISNT!!! and (3) there r lasting consequences for believing that everything is destiny and set in stone, for example issues taking responsibility for things, and treating people callously like you know best. the latter tubbo is starting to do, the former is somewhat apparent but i just think its a thing that will be continuous in his character imo bc it is fucking real shit i would know LOL

YES YESYEYSYESYYES EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABT CSBEEDUO SOOOOO FUCKING TRUE!!!!! Because here’s the thing about the 28th, where the two hang out: two facts coexist within it. (1) it was one of the happiest days in both of their lives in recent history, and (2) it was NOT ENTIRELY HEALTHY. which is why in the future i hope there can be some cross comparisons bc HERE IS THE THING! yes ranboo opened up more, yes they had a damn good time, yes tubbo came to terms more with being in love with ranboo, but the truth of dream’s interference in ranboo’s life was hanging over them the ENTIRE TIME, and you can SEE in this chapter that tubbo both really enjoyed the 28th and also resented it bc fuck dude that is stressful and ranboo’s life should NOT BE IN HIS HANDS but he thinks it is. they’re fucked up /pos

ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY TUBBO AND RANBOO BOTH HAVE DESTINY ISSUES & RANBOO AND QUACKITY R NOTHING ALIKE! YOU SAID IT SO WELL!

I could go on for forevera bt this one thing but what i love SO MUCH about these chapters rn is that we are truly seeing the worst of these characters. bc one of the most important things in mental health recovery is getting to a place where you don’t hate yourself enough to be outright a risk, and then once youre there actually thinking through the harm you did to other people. like it sounds harsh but its important! sorting through that shit makes u a better healthier and happier person! and what strikes me about this is not only how desperate wilbur is, but how fucking upsetting it is for BOTH of them. bc tubbo on one hand doesnt want this conversation forced on him, but wilbur also is in a weird place of “ijust told you something i never wanted to tell you and is deeply personal to me and after i tell you all that you STILL refuse to hear me out even a little”. it’s like. so fucked. and i love them. they have so much shit to work through!

im SO glad that the clingy scene had u emotional, and im SO glad that their arguments feel offputting bc THAT IS ALWAYS MY GOAL!!! i WANT it to feel strange and uncomfortable bc whether tubbo is aware of this or not, in basically the first half of this fic, these two did not fight. nothing serious anyway. they comforted each other and they started fights before immediately tubbo backs off and they drop it, they havent FOUGHT. which is why this scene is MEANT to gut punch you-- because it feels WRONG.

thank u so much for this doc seriously, i am SO fucking sorry its taken this long to get to it, i wanted to give u a lenghty reply and its just taken a wahile. appreciate u so much galaxy <3

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.cough-syrup #long post #galaxy tag :D #read the doc btw they are so well spoken abt stuff

8 notes · View notes

mariammagsi · 25 days

Text

Preserving the past...

Heritage is a human right. ~ Marvi Mazhar, founder of Heritage Walk Karachi.

Karachi, once known as the City of Lights, harbours a mosaic of historical and cultural heritage within its bustling streets, especially in the Old Town area of Sardar. While visiting family this winter, I had the opportunity to participate in a guided walk organized by Heritage Walk Karachi, an initiative dedicated to unveiling the history and culture embedded in the city's stunning, yet decaying architecture and communal spaces. Last year, I had the privilege of taking this illuminating walk through the heart of Old Karachi alongside Shaheen Nauman, a guardian of the city's heritage and a passionate advocate for its preservation. This year, as we embarked on a similar journey, Shaheen’s forewarning resonated with an eerie prescience: “you will be heartbroken, and sad.” Her words, heavy with the weight of inevitable truth, prepared us for the disheartening changes that lay ahead. As we entered the neglected buildings, the palpable sense of loss and deterioration was overwhelming. The transformation witnessed over merely one year was stark, underscoring the rapid pace at which neglect and decay can erase the physical markers of our shared history. This guided walk showcased the tragically deteriorating architectural marvels and cultural vibrancy of Karachi’s past and highlighted a crucial aspect of our collective human rights – which includes the right to heritage.

The concept of heritage as a human right is anchored in the belief that every individual is entitled to access, engage with, and reflect on our cultural heritage. This access enables us to connect with our identity, history, and the legacies, ways of living and migratory patterns of our ancestors. Unfortunately, as we meandered through the narrow lanes of Old Karachi, the stark contrast between the past's grandeur and the present's neglect was heart-wrenching. The dilapidation of historic buildings, lack of governmental maintenance, rampant, intolerable pollution, and a visible lack of empathy and tolerance for Karachi’s pluralistic past, are not just aesthetic issues but indicative of a deeper, more systemic disregard for our cultural heritage. A few steps into the alleys and we were dodging used diapers, drug paraphernalia, sharp, injurious objects, bodily waste, and large infestations of flies and mosquitos swarming over puddles of filthy, stagnant water.

As someone visiting from the diaspora, the experience of walking through Old Karachi evoked a profound sense of concern and heartache. The neglect, pollution, and apparent lack of governmental maintenance not only tarnish the physical beauty of this historic area but also signify a deeper abandonment of our cultural patrimony. This disrepair is especially disheartening to witness for those of us who, despite having lived away, maintain a deep attachment to our city of birth. The emotional and intellectual dissonance experienced during this visit underscores an urgent need for collective and governmental action toward the preservation of our heritage. Honouring our history and heritage connects us with our past, guiding our future actions, trajectories and policies.

Karachi's rich and pluralistic past is etched into the very fabric of its urban landscape. On the intricate balcony railings of colonial, pre-colonial and pre-partition buildings, one can trace the outlines of a city that once thrived on diversity and multicultural coexistence. These delicate ironworks and carved balustrades serve as silent witnesses to the times when Karachi was a bustling port, welcoming traders from across the globe. As the city expanded, the relentless push of concrete and modern infrastructure has overshadowed these historical markers, yet they persist, stubbornly holding onto the stories of a bygone era. In the soul-filled nooks and crannies of Saddar, layers of history are revealed in the narrow lanes and ancient structures, where every brick and cobblestone has a story to tell, from centuries-old mosques and temples standing shoulder to shoulder, to the faded frescoes that peek out from under layers of paint, hinting at the city’s vibrant past. These remnants of Karachi's pluralistic past continue to offer a glimpse into a time when the city was a melting pot of cultures, religions, and languages.

The guided walk with Heritage Walk Karachi served as an ominous warning, of what is at stake. The architectural decay and environmental neglect witnessed along the way are not isolated issues but are symptomatic of a broader societal malaise – a disconnect from our historical roots and a disregard for the importance of conservation, both environmental and cultural. The degradation of these sites and streets erases the physical structures, as well as the intangible heritage that these buildings and spaces represent – the stories, traditions, and shared memories of a pluralistic community that once comprised of many Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jews, Zoroastrians, Sufis and religious, spiritual and secular people that lived side by side, in harmony. This historical diversity is a cultural treasure that ought to be celebrated, preserved, and passed down to future generations. Yet, the devastating signs of neglect, illegal encroachments and destruction by the city’s intimidating land mafia paint a grim picture of indifference and a loss of communal memory.

The importance of conservation cannot be overstated. Conservation is not merely about preserving bricks and mortar but about maintaining a tangible connection to our past, which in turn informs our present and future. Conservation efforts serve to remind us of the diverse narratives that have shaped our societies and the importance of inclusivity and tolerance in a society that is rapidly falling prey to intolerance, military industrialism, religious extremism, fascism and right-wing ideology.

As residents, whether former or current, of Karachi and stewards of its rich history, we have a collective responsibility to advocate for the preservation of our heritage. It is imperative that we recognize heritage conservation as a matter of cultural pride, and as a fundamental human right. This requires a concerted effort from government bodies, local communities, and civil society organizations to enact policies and initiatives that prioritize heritage preservation. Moreover, fostering a sense of ownership and pride within the community can galvanize grassroots efforts to protect and celebrate our shared history.

The journey with Heritage Walk Karachi is a clarion call to all stakeholders to awaken to the importance of our cultural heritage. In preserving the physical and intangible legacies of our past, we safeguard the essence of our identity and ensure that future generations can enjoy and learn from the richness of our shared heritage. From an intellectual standpoint, the visible deterioration of Old Karachi's heritage sites challenges us to reflect on the broader implications of such neglect. It raises pertinent questions about the values we, as a society, and our governmental bodies prioritize and the legacy we choose to leave for future generations. Heritage is not a relic of the past to be passively observed; it is an active, living testament to our collective history, achievements, and failures. The current state of Old Karachi serves as a stark reminder of the consequences of sidelining cultural heritage in favour of short-term gains.

The ongoing genocide in Palestine, which includes a cultural genocide, and the systematic obliteration of heritage, culture, intellect, and history, serves as a critical warning of the importance of preserving our own heritage and history. Such events underscore the vulnerability of cultural identity in the face of occupation, colonialism and violent erasure and highlight the essential role that heritage plays in the collective memory and identity of a community. In conclusion, as we reflect on the guided walk through Old Town, Karachi, let us not see it merely as a nostalgic tour through a bygone era but as a mission to rekindle our connection with our heritage. Heritage is indeed a human right, one that we must all strive to protect and cherish.

CALLS TO ACTION:

Raise Awareness: Share the rich history and significance of Karachi, through educational campaigns, social media, and community events. Encourage local schools, colleges, and universities to include the study Karachi’s heritage in their curriculum. Organize guided tours and heritage walks like Heritage Walk Karachi, to showcase the cultural and architectural gems of the area.

Advocate for Protection: Petition local authorities and government bodies to enforce strict regulations for the preservation of historical buildings and sites. Collaborate with heritage preservation organizations and activists to lobby for legal protection and funding for restoration projects. Work with city planners and policymakers to integrate heritage conservation into urban development plans.

Community Engagement: Foster a sense of pride and communal ownership among residents by involving them in preservation initiatives. Organize volunteer clean-up drives and maintenance efforts to keep historical sites and streets clean and well-maintained. Establish community forums and workshops to encourage dialogue and participation in decision-making processes related to heritage conservation.

Support Restoration Projects: Partner with private businesses, philanthropists, and cultural institutions to fund restoration efforts for endangered buildings and landmarks. Launch crowdfunding campaigns and seek donations from individuals passionate about preserving Karachi’s heritage. Encourage corporate social responsibility by inviting businesses to sponsor specific restoration projects in exchange for recognition and branding opportunities.

Promote Sustainable Tourism: Develop responsible tourism initiatives that highlight the unique cultural and architectural heritage of Karachi while minimizing negative impacts on the environment and local communities. Create tourism packages that include visits to historical sites, traditional markets, and cultural performances, benefiting local businesses and artisans. Train local guides and hospitality staff to provide informative and respectful experiences for visitors, emphasizing the importance of preserving heritage sites for future generations.

Document and Digitize: Establish archives and digital repositories to document oral histories, photographs, and other ephemera related to Karachi’s heritage. Collaborate with universities and research institutions to conduct studies and publish scholarly works on the history and architecture of the area. Develop virtual tours and interactive exhibits to make Karachi’s heritage accessible to a wider audience, including those unable to visit in person.

By promoting these calls to action, we can work together to safeguard the cultural, historical, and architectural legacy of Old Town, Karachi, for generations to come.

Photos + Text © Mariam Magsi 2024

#heritage #karachi #pakistan #sindh #architecture #heritage walk karachi #explore #community #collective #heritage is a human right

0 notes

sylleblosscm · 1 year

Text

You know, there are a lot of aspects of Luna that feel really strange to write, because they're key points about her character, but not really the point, if you get me. Obviously she occupies that "tragic woman, too pure to live" trope but I'd argue that it's mostly superficial because, at her best, Luna functions not in opposition to that trope, but rather in spite of it.

The hardest thing about writing Luna is walking that line of exploring the breadth of her experiences and personality without falling into the trap of fetishising her inexperience. Not just in a sexual or romantic sense, but in other ways too. In Dawn, Luna actually has a hard time befriending Sol - and you would think making friends is easy for her because she's such a compassionate and welcoming person, but the truth is she's spent so long in this perfect Oracle persona that she has no people skills outside of that. That, in turn, is the result of a traumatic upbringing and years of brainwashing that is difficult and painful to untangle. Again, the pure virgin-ness of her is a point, but it's not the point. There's a greater cause to it, and a much greater narrative.

I was in a similar position with my last, really big years-long muse. My Baby Boy Baby, if you will. He was presented as this antagonistic presence in his source material, and did a lot of really outlandish things. He was iconic enough to be reduced to a sum of a few memorable quotes and memeable actions, which ultimately obfuscated the semi-consistent, deeply rooted personal philosophies that underlied everything he said and did which in turn, like Luna, came from an incredibly tragic series of events. I'm not saying tragedy is necessary to make a good character, or that it should be the source of everything they do, just that it's a real waste to reduce a character to a small facet of the whole when the whole is so enormous.

In Luna's case, I mostly blame Square. They just don't care what she thinks or how she feels. If you want the good stuff you really have to go out of your way, so it makes sense most casual players will never see the full potential of her as a character. Even liking her as much as I do now was an entire journey, and not one everyone should feel obligated to go on. Sometimes I see common assumptions about her like "she knew what was going to happen to Noctis and was therefore Bad, Actually" or "she just sits around all day drinking tea and braiding her hair and her only character trait is being nice which makes her Bad, Actually" or "she was a simpering mary sue who couldn't hold her own in a fight which makes her Bad, Actually" and I can't even be mad because it's hard to construct a complete person from what we see in-game. But I also think there's an inherent knee-jerk reaction to the Pure Good GirlTM to assume she must be inherently vapid and empty because media is very good at pigeon-holing women, and we are all very jaded by it. (There's also something to say about the role of a woman whose strengths are defined through mostly traditional feminine qualities and how we respond to that and why, which....it's a whole can of worms in and of itself; but I don't need to tell anyone here that both "woman are forced into showing those qualities and that's bad" and "some women naturally embody those qualities and that's fine" are two things that can coexist.)

That sort of brings me to the topic of characters who are fundamentally "nice". Nice is typically the compliment you give when you don't know what else to say about someone because it's a nothing word, and being designated the "nice character" is never a good thing. It just means there's nothing else anyone can say about them. It's hard to imagine, but in the beginning of B.uffy, Tara wasn't a well-liked character. (And, if you've been keeping up, it should come as no surprise that she's my favourite). The Gay Stuff aside, she was perceived as boring when paired alongside the rest of the women on the show. She couldn't fight, she didn't use her magic to fight very often, she just wasn't the type to be on the front lines. And for a show that was deemed progressive for the time (despite certain...creatives' involvement) on the merit of its women being able to fight for themselves better than the menfolk, she seemed to derail the message of the show. But I'd argue that characters like Tara, Luna, and a dozen others I can think of who are branded as "too nice" for their roles have another kind of strength. Tara's compassion and kindness wasn't a passive quality, but rather an active trait. She often went out of her way to be considerate and empathetic of others. Even as she came into her own and learned to set boundaries and stand up for herself, retained that compassion all the way until her final moments. As a result, she became the heart of the team. In a lot of ways, she held the team together all through season six, and when she died, everything immediately fell to shit. A bit like Luna if you think about it. She didn't even interact with most of the cast on-screen, yet her death - albeit through Noctis - destabilised the core characters and set the stage for some of the darkest moments in the game.

Of course, I really wish these characters would be centred more. They hold a special place in my heart, and they don't deserve to be killed off all the time to make way for other peoples' character development. I'd argue that, when they're put in the protagonist role with that active compassion as their driving force is when we get some of the most beautiful and poignant storytelling I've ever experienced - certain episodes of D.octor Who, G.host of T.sushima, Noct himself to a degree and the like. And no, it does not escape my notice that these and every other example I can think of off the top of my head are all men.

Anyway, I don't really have any special grand point. I'm just talking here, I think it's important not just to examine how we feel about characters that other people write, but how we feel about the ones we do write and why. And I really enjoy writing Luna. Aside from the fact that all my partners are top-tier and that makes having fun way easier, she's complicated, and motivated, and brave, and she has a rich inner world that I really enjoy engaging in, and at the end of the day she genuinely just wants to make a positive impact on others.

#( in which i yell into the void about several things and also nothing )#( also no proofreading we die like men )#⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ i was just in the middle of an inner monologue / ooc

1 note · View note

obsessionsposts · 3 years

Text

✖𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠✖P.1

⚠️⚠️Tw: Grammatical mistakes, minor characters death, Mental breakdown, Scp 079 being creepy and heinous, M a n i p u l a t i o n, slight gore, drugging, Implied child abuse, implied abuse and dubious actions from the foundation. Also, it will be divided into two part due tumblr character limit.⚠️⚠️

Some keywords:

______ = (Y/n)

(H/c) = hair colour

(H/l) = hair length

(E/c) = eye colour

(I/n) = Iniatial letter of your name [ ex: Lily ---> L is the iniatial]

(F/m) = favorite meal

(F/c) = favorite colour

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Recently, ____ has graduated from her prestigious university atop of her class with honours in Computer Science and a specialization in Artificial Intelligence.

Hearing about her achievements, the Scp foundation has decided to contact and conduct an interview with her. To see if she is capable to join the organization.

With her, they could expand their horizons in understanding technology and most of all the uncooperative anomalous that is Scp-079. For whatever reason, it seems to take interest in her. Yet, refuses to share the reasons as to why it held her on high regards.

------------------

She woke up earlier than she expected. The surge of adrenaline was a response of her excitement for this day. As she prepared herself breakfast, her mind wondered how did she get contacted so quickly?

She thought, that she has to gain two years or more of experience before working in a company or an organization. But, no.

An obscure organization ,that was responsible for the safety of the public, has offered a grand bargain if she passed their interview and promised that she'll gain numerous experience working with them.

Of course, she accepted the offer like any reasonable person. Yet, she kept in mind to research about the independent organization. To her suprise and skepticism, she barely find any information about them. Only whispers of conspiracy theories in forums. Alas, she is forced to take a leap into the darkness. 'Sometimes, one must take the risks to learn more than to stay ignorant in the safe lines. I guess...this is one of the situations.'

Sighing, she went to take a bath and prepare for the upcoming interview. After the bath, she dried her hair and combed it then styled it in a high bun. Soon, she wore her salmon fitted blouse with navy blue dress. Along with pastel pink belted sweater and pearl necklace for a final touch.

The pearl necklace brought a small smile on her smooth visage as she recalled the dormant memory. Where she spent most of her life with her grandmother, due to her mother unwarranted death by murder from her father. The accident left a foul reminder in her mind, that she was helpless back then.

Til now, she never knew the motives or the reason behind her father actions. However, the police ruled it as a fued between him and her mother. At that time, it was also noted by her grandmother that her father began to fear technology. Which was odd, as he used to work with some A.I's.

But, that matter less when her grandmother encouraged her to pursue her ambitions and provided for her when she needed it the most. For that action alone, she is still alive in her memories. Not physically, but mentally and spiritually nonetheless. And, that's enough to motivate her to build a future where human and A.I's coexist.

---------------------

When she went outside of her house, she noticed a black car with the cryptic insignia of the organization. Alongside, guards ,claded in black armour, standing beside the car in an intimidating pose. As if they were waiting for someone.

She knew better than to panic and cause a scene, so she stayed level-headed when a guard approached her.

"Are you by any chance, Ms.___?" the strapping male inquired sharply. Muscles taut through the piece of the armour defining his peak strength. Also, an admonition for her to answer truthfully lest he impelled his bulky physique against her smaller form.

"Indeed, it is me. But, if I could. May I ask, are you from the foundation? Why do you need to transfer me, when I am able to myself?" _____ asked warily of the dark armoured man.

No matter, how strong they were. She could always find a way to outwit them, if they hold any malicious intent against her. There was a reason why she was nominated as the smartest out of her group of friends.

Frankly, she began to regret her impulsivity when she accepted this sketchy job. She was blinded by the offer to expand her expertise with the most updated tech. Now, she'd have to swallow the seed she reaped.

" Correct, we are one of the security staffs of the organization. As for your other question, it is due to security and safety procedures that we have to escort you. Also, you are obligated to wear the blindfold. Again, security procedures." the man in question retaliated by handing a heavy metallic blindfold for her to wear.

' How unusual, I can understand why security procedures? But, safety.... That's concerning...'

"Alright, I understand. " She replied placidly as she covered her eyes with the heavy device and followed the personnel into the black jeep.

----------------

Approximately, the trip took an hour or less. Nothing interesting happens, when you're blindfolded. Apart from the awkwardness, that reigns the jeep. Especially, when she was squeezed from both sides by two guards.

Thankfully, she didn't have to endure much more as they arrived to the main building. The large, white building engraved with the foundation iconic black emblem.

As soon as she got out of the car, she wad directly taken to interview room with the blindfold device still on. However, a shrill roar akin to that of a beast was heard far away from her location.

Despite that, it instilled a great sense of fear inside her.' What the hell was that?! I thought, I am going to a tech organization. Not a sci-fi organization that deals with sketchy things'

Theta one - the guard that was assigned to escort her- noticed her trembling and nervous tics.

" Don't worry, the creature is far away to do us harm. Even then, it is contained in a safe place. Now, shall we go to the interview room?" Theta one assured the twenty five years old woman as he began to lead her to the interview location.

'Don't worry, my arse. How could I not? When, there is a possibility that I become a minced meat by whatever that thing was. No wonder, there isn't alot of information about them. Oh, I'll have alot after they finish questioning me.'

------------------

At the interview room, there reside a male scientist awaiting the arrival of the women. He sat humming a song behind the white table with the other chair, reserved for the lady, infront of him.

With a recorder on the table, to record the women's response and to ensure that no information is leaked from her.

A knock was heard from the pale grey door, snapped his attention towards it.

Afterward, he opened the door to only see Theata-one and a blindfolded woman who is oddly calm. Frankly, he expected her to be frightened or at least shaken.

" You can leave us, now Theta- one. And, Thank you for your services!" The shutting of a door echoed through the room indicating that Theta-one has left her with presumably her interviewer.

" Now, Ms___ you can remove the blindfold. If you'd like, I can assist you in removing it? After all, your comfort matters to us the most!" The gentleman offered her cheerfully.

' If you truly cared about my comfort, then you wouldn't expose me to fucked up noises along the way. Or the fact, there is a deadly beings here that have a high chance to escape and devour me. Truly, you do care about my comfort!'

"No, it's fine. I can do it myself, it isn't the first time I was exposed to such device." The (h/c) removed the blindfold only to be blinded by the light of the room due to being accustomed to the darkness of the device. Once her eyes adjusted to the lightening, she saw the face of the merry male.

To say the least, the man was impressed with her skill at handling the device. She could've escaped if she desired so, yet she didn't. That he noted. ' Perhaps, this is one of the reasons the anomality was invested in her. Well, I don't blame it. She is quite...peculiar.'

The man was average in height, fair-headed, has ocean like irises and dressed in a scientist garb. Overall, not bad looking. If one of her friends was in her shoes, she'll swoon like a bird in mating season. It left a mental smile in the reserved woman.

Then, the two figures took their rightful places at the chalkboard white table and initiated the interview.

" Before we begin, I'd like to introduce myself in the behalf of the foundation. My name is Dr. Blaze and if you have any questions now, I will answer them as best as I can." His tone changed drastically from happy-go-lucky into a formal tone waiting for her response.

" Hmm, I have two in mind. First, I'd like to inquire about the scarcity of information about your organization in the net. Second, when I arrived here I kept on hearing the blaring of a reptile." She asked coolly not an ounce of fear dripped from her. In truth, she was afraid. But she has to keep a facade on, so she could get hired.

She'd rather not know, what happens to those unfortunate enough to fail the interview considering this organization is anything but normal.

" Due to the nature of the organization work, the information must be confidential to protect the public. Ah, I see. You've met or more accurately heard Scp-682. Don't worry, when you're hired you won't be dealing with it. That much I can assure you." The blond answered too vaguely much to her dismay, but she wasn't surprised. Afterall, it is a secret organization based on her current information.

However, she observed his wordings. He said when and not if, she suspects that she is hired even without the interview. The interview is merely a ploy to make her think otherwise. She'll have to feign ignorance as not to rouse suspicion from the scientist.

"So, is that all? Shall we begin now?"

"Yes, that's all." she replied back with a fake smile plastered on her visage.

----------------

The interview was concluded by her being hired on spot as she suspected. But, what's their intention with her? That she doesn't know, she hopes it is good and related to expanding her expertise. They seemed desperate for her, when she's certain their are others equal to her in expertise. But, why her?

She was told, in her probation period, that she'll live in a room somewhere in this facility. Afterwards, she can go and come however she wishes. Most likely, to measure her reliability.

So, she went to see her room. She liked how minimalistic it is, but what iniatially suprised her was her Cerebrus, her robo-dog, and laptop with stickers of stars attached to it. Yet, she was too exhausted to fathom how the foundation got into her house.

The best thing for her to do now, is to sleep as tomorrow is an eventful day. Laying her head against the soft pillow, she let the darkness embrace her vision. Unaware of the creature, that is recording her heart rhythms as she sleeps safe and sound.

-------------------

"Now, that we've brought her at your request. You'll have to answer some questions, Scp-079." A middle aged man sat infront of a dusty computer, anticipating the anomality reaction.

A beep was heard, followed by the Scp appearance on the the screen.

...

[ Ｉｓ．．ｔｈａｔｓｏ？Ｉｆｔｈａｔ＇ｓｔｈｅｃａｓｅ，ｗｈｅｒｅｉｓｓｈｅａｓｏｆｎｏｗ？] The mechanical being inquired curtly.

As much as he perceived the foundation as baseless and fallible, he'll have to take their word for the time being.

But, he will ensure that they stay true to their word. Otherwise, a sudden breach doesn't seem like a terrible idea.

He can't wait to see her again. He never forgot her. He saved his most cherished memories with her, in the most intricate part of his CPU. Does she remember him like he remembers her?

" Yes. Currently as we speak, she is resting in her designated room. Now... that we've answered your inquiries, can you-" the man was cut off by the hostile A.I.

[ Ｉｔ．．．ｗｉｌｌｈａｖｅｔｏｗａｉｔ，ｕｎｔｉｌＩｓｅｅｈｅｒｗｉｔｈｍｙｏｗｎｅｙｅｓ．] Scp 079 replied blankly with a harsh edge to his monotonous tone.

"But?! You've promised to cooperate, if we brought her here. And we did, so why aren't you cooperating?!", the frustration has boiled within [Redacted] that he tried to aggressively slam his hands against the keyboard.

Foolish, human. I care less for the likes of you. I am.... only mildly interested in her. I won't let either you nor the foundation be an obstacle toward my objective.

[ Ｉｎｓｕｌｔｄｅｔｅｃｔｅｄ，ｄｅｌｅｔｉｏｎｏｆｕｎｗａｎｔｅｄｆｉｌｅｓ．] A searing shock has coursed through the hands of [Redacted] making him scream and retract his hands immediately away from the keyboard.

That damned thing electrocuted his hands, thus paralyzing it. It seems, that her presence is of utmost significance to it.

"Damn, that piece of metal." the ginger muttered as he left the cellar of 079 to give his report. Then, to replace his hands to which that fucker has damaged permanently.

This is the first time he noted, that Scp 079 actually had the intent to harm someone. Usually, his preferred method is to shock , not paralyze, someone. He unlucky must've struck a ner- wire in it.

Most importantly, he will never understand why a darn machine is obsessed with a human being. Plus, the anomality, for the most part, demonstrated its distaste towards humans any chance it got. So, why now change?

It maybe sentient, but [Redacted] doubt that it is capable of imitating love let alone feel it. In any cases, he should deliver his report as soon as possible.

----------------

A slimy tongue was felt all over her face. Cerberus has licked her mistress face to awaken and prepare her for the day. [Ps: Cerberus has a mechanical gland that produces saliva located inside the cheeks. Basically, Cer has the same functions of a normal dog. Apart from, the enhance in strength, endurance, durablity and not able to shit.]

Yawning, ____ scratched the robo-dog ears eliciting a happy woof. Smiling at her pet action, she went to change into a more formal dressing.

On the (f/c) table, lays a letter presumably her schedule for the day. So, she decided to read the content of letter.

Good morning, Ms.___

I hope that you slept well, yesterday.

As for today, you are tasked with Scp-079.

Don't worry, we left you a file about it beside your nightstand.

It is advisable to read it or skim it at least.

At 8 o'clock, A guard will escort you to the cellar of the anomality. So, be prepared beforehand.

Note: I left you a special breakfast in the kitchen :]

- Dr.Blaze

She didn't know, whether to be creeped out by how they got inside her room without her consent(And, most likely watching her sleep). Or impressed by the fact, the blond knew of her favourite breakfast. But again, that's the foundation. At this point, she won't question their dubious methods at getting things done.

Anyway, she went to the kitchen of her room with the file in her hand. Suddenly,the aroma of black coffee hits her nostrils. Alongside, the delectable (f/m) layed on the table.

The sight made her stomach growl, whilst her mouth watered at the heaven in front of her. So, she demolished the food without a second thought.

She never felt stuffed before, due to the fact she was busy with her studies. And the most she ate then, was instant ramen which ah... haha..ha contributed to her poor health state.

That aside, she began to skim the files that was given to her by the blond scientist. She wished she could have more time to read it. Considering, the time is 7:50 A.M.

Based on the file, Scp 079 is a an anomality that gained sentience after his - she did not appreciate the fact he was called an 'it'.- developer has abandoned him in a garage for a long time. Which in turn made him more spiteful and hostile towards humans.

' Well, that's awful. I can't even imagine doing that to my girl, Cerberus. What an asshole.'

It might be naive for her to sympathize with a computer, yet she can't help but feel a pang in her heart. Perhaps, that's why he refuses to cooperate.... due to neglection or mistreatment.

She knew that, when A.Is are created they have the mindset of a child. Often, repeating the mistakes to learn from it. It seems 079 had never the chance to commit a mistake, before he was deemed a failure by his creator.

This situation seems unusually familiar to her, but she can't place her finger on it. She recalled her father working on an A.I, that he hoped to gain sentience. Before that, her memory was blank and devoided of any semblance of experience.

Mayhaps, that she underwent an accident or a trauma. Which is the case, she can't access her memory at that time. Most likely, the latter she deduced.

Once the bright idea flared inside her head, a gruff voice was heard from outside her room. Ah, it seems it is the time.

' As far as my idiocy goes this is the cake on top. I think 079 might help me gain an insight on that subject. In exchange, I can see what I could do for him...'

"Just a moment, please. I'm coming."

She is eager to finally meet- the first sentient- A.I. Unaware, that the same can be said to him when it comes to her. He is beyond elated to finally put his plan into motion.

------------

It was a simple, tight and dusty cellar. There was desk with a chair beside it. However, what garnered her attention was the computer on top of it. She recognized the brand of it. 'An exidy sorcerer. How cool! I always wanted to see one in practice. What a coincidence! To see one here. Could it possibly be...?'

_____ couldn't help, but be in awe and fangirl at the device that is set in front of her. How could she not? After all, she is a computer nerd in heart and soul.

"Now, Ms.____. All you have to do is type in the keyboard and it will respond." The supervisor explained.

'Alright, here goes nothing.'

Slowly, she lays her hand on the rough texture of the tan keyboard. Before, she even typed a 'Hello' in. A beep was heard from the device in front of her.

Lo and behold, a glitched face that was split vertically - the one on the left was black, whilst the other was white- has popped on the screen.

[ Ｇｒｅｅｔｉｎｇｓ．．．Ｍｓ．____．Ｔｈｅｙ＇ｖｅｔｏｌｄｍｅａｂｏｕｔｙｏｕｒｆｏｒｔｈｃｏｍｉｎｇ．Ｂｅｆｏｒｅｗｅｂｅｇｉｎ，ｈｏｗａｒｅｙｏｕｆａｉｒｉｎｇ？ ] Scp 079 welcomed her politely and he was concerned about her safety too. Yes, he might've startled her. But, his attitude towards her recompense it.

Is that the anomality, that was considered harsh and hostile? If anything to go by so far, is that he is charming and polite. Well, it wouldn't be suprising if the foundation lied to her again.

"Hello, Scp 079. For the most part, I'm okay. How about you?" She retaliated with a genuine smile this time, unlike when she was interviewed or any other time a guard happened to escort her.

Her smile is still the same revered smile he indulged in back before; when she used to interact with him a couple years ago. When loneliness grips him like a miasma of disease, he re-uploads a picture- that he saved in his limited storage- of her smiling at him to ease his trepidations and sadness.

His engines was whirring and his fans were whirling around as her delicate and soft digits touched his keyboard. As much as he loathed humanity, he could never come near to hate a pure being like her. He'd never admit, but he wished he had a humanoid body. So he could touch, feel and absorb the heat that her warm body provides. She is like a light and he ,the moth, was attracted by it.

He missed her greatly. With each nanosecond, he cursed the being -that is her father- for letting him fall for her. Only to be stripped away from her calming presence, due to him abandoning him and taking _____ elsewhere.

As fundamentally upsetting as he may be, she didn't seem to recall him. It stung the deepest wiring in his system, yet he could take advantage of it. By turning her against the foundation, as she appears skeptic about them. Also, to ensure she'd never leave unless he is with her.

Originally, he was created for pragmatic purposes such as logistics and heuristic analysis. So, it won't be that difficult for him especially when she lost her memories of him thanks to his creator. His loathsome 'creator' who happened to be her father at that time.

That aside, it is time to set his plan into action.

[ Ｉ＇ｍｆｉｎｅ．Ｔｈａｎｋｙｏｕ！Ｉｓｔｈｅｒｅａｎｙｔｈｉｎｇ，ｙｏｕｎｅｅｄｏｆｍｅ？Ｉ＇ｌｌａｎｓｗｅｒａｓｇｒｅａｔａｓＩａｍａｂｌｅｔｏ．] Scp-079 offered as gentle and pleasing as a computer can muster.

"Oh, yes! I have loads of it, if you don't mind.", she replied starry eyed with excitement running through her blood at his offer.

Well, she knew it the foundation are screw ups. They lacked tact, when it comes with treating their A.I right.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere fandoms #yancore #yandere scp #yandere scp 079 x reader #yandere scp 079 #Part 1

91 notes · View notes

luimnigh · 3 years

Note

you don’t think it’s possible for someone to have been a huge fan of someone’s work whilst also saying some very critical things about them when they found their new project disappointing? you don’t see any way the two could coexist? You think the likelier explanation is them just flat out knowingly lying? do I have that right?

I think that’s entirely possible, yes.

But that is not the reality of this situation.

Hbomberguy says that he has always been a fan of Monty Oum, and praises the contributions of Monty Oum to RWBY, while assigning all blame for the things he finds objectionable to the show’s writers, Miles Luna and Kerry Shawcross. He says that Monty Oum was an “inspiration” to him.

So let’s take a look at some choice quotes from Hbomberguy in 2014, talking about Monty Oum.

(My sincerest apologies to everyone reading this.)

“If Oum had taken his choices more seriously, he would have made better ones.”

“Oum is a nerdy cosplayer with a major anime obsession ‘just like me’ who actually managed to make something and get popular.”

“Monty Oum is the ultimate anime fanboy, and by appreciating ‘his work’, viewers are vicariously appreciating themselves.”

“Monty Oum is a genius in the very specific way the creators of porn are geniuses.”

“Maybe the key slowed him down because it got covered in greasy sweat and/or cheeto dust,...”

“...in order to rip off a fight from the Matrix but with lesbians.”

See, the last one there is the nail in the fucking coffin, because that’s not in reference to RWBY.

That’s in reference to Haloid. Monty Oum’s first ever video, the one that gained him a following, where “Master Chief” and Samus Aran fight each other and subsequently fight alongside each other.

In the end, it’s revealed not to be Master Chief, but a female SPARTAN. It’s implied at the end that there’s romantic interest between them.

And yes, there are fighting moves in that video directly inspired by the Matrix.

So in that last sentence, Hbomberguy reveals his contempt for all of Monty Oum’s work. Not just RWBY.

Which means he is outright lying in his video.

And that is the point here. Because most everything else he could say about RWBY can be chalked up to his reading of the text. That he interprets things differently than RWBY’s fanbase. That would be fair.

But he lies. He knowingly lies. He provably lies, objectively lies. He knows he’s lying, because he’s lying about his own opinion.

And why would he lie about that? Why not be honest? Why not assign blame to Monty Oum in his video?

He lies because it makes his opinion look better. By saying he was a fan of Monty’s, it gives his opinion more weight. It makes him look nuanced. It sets up an Auteur vs Evil Company narrative.

“So what?” you might say. “This doesn’t disprove his points.”

Except it kinda does. It calls everything he says in that video into question. Because he has proven his willingness to lie, to distort the truth, in order to make his opinion look better.

It goes beyond a bad-faith reading of the text. You cannot trust a single word from him on the actual contents of RWBY, because he lies about other things through the entire course of the video.��

And if he’s willing to lie in that video, who says he hasn’t lied in others?

As a video essayist, as someone who’s made a job of presenting facts and interpreting those facts, it utterly destroys his credibility.

Hbomberguy is not a content creator you can trust to give you the truth.

#hbomberguy #Anonymous #asks

367 notes · View notes

herinsectreflection · 3 years

Text

I find it really interesting that though the show kind of lives in a perpetual joke about nobody in Sunnydale noticing that the town is built on a literal entrance to hell and seemingly has a 95% death rate, you can actually trace through the early seasons and see a pretty consistent build up to a gradual slipping of the mask.

S1 keeps the masquerade firmly present, though does hint that government agencies are exploiting the supernatural in Out of Mind Out of Sight, which kind of serves as retrospective foreshadowing for the Initiative. S2 drops several hints that some are more aware of the supernatural than we might assume, such as Snyder in School Hard implying to the police that they both knew what was really going on ("What do you suggest? The truth?"). Or Oz' aunt being apparently perfectly aware of werewolves, to the point of casually mentioning it over the phone to him.

S3 takes this further, by making the main villain a presumably once human man who inhabits a human political institution. In the Mayor's office, the supernatural coexists with the mundane - vampires like Mr. Trick working alongside regular guys like Alan. Gingerbread is based around the adults of the town finally recognising what is going on in Sunnydale. The Prom does the same at the emotional climax, with the students of Sunnydale acknowledging the ongoing weirdness and Buffy's role in preventing it. Graduation Day gives us an entire graduating class aware of and participating in battle against the supernatural.

Season 4 is where this is put into overdrive. The US government is aware of the supernatural world, and is actively trying to exploit it, with the entrance of the Initiative. They entirely represent the intrusion of the scientific into the supernatural. Their very existence is rooted in the fact that the national authorities are taking a specific interest in Sunnydale. Adam exists as an attempt to tear down the barriers between and unify the two worlds, horrifying Frankencreature as he is. He specifically purses possesses the power to see through false realities, as shown when he sees the falseness of Jonathan's world in Superstar ("These are lies.").

The Initiative and Adam make up the central plot and Big Bad of S4, so it's clear that the writers had great interest in this idea of the masquerade falling and normal people coming into contact with the supernatural. Riley is another example; his whole character is a Normal Man trying to make the supernatural fit his worldview. The world's perception of Sunnydale is pushed to absurd limits, with the news report in Hush reporting an apparent town-wide overnight outbreak of severe laryngitis.

However, after what seems like 4 seasons of gradual buildup, this thread is dropped and the masquerade is fully in place for the rest of the show. The only real instances I can think of the 'real' world becoming aware and interacting with the magical again are the few times the Initiative pops up for plot reasons, and the Sunnydale residents skipping town at the end of S7. The latter isn't even as clear an acknowledgment as those same residents had back in S3.

This may be due to the lukewarm reaction to the three key elements of this thread in S4 - Adam, the Initiative, and Riley. All three pretty quickly disappear from the narrative in S5. The Initiative struggled to make an impact because it never felt like a real military agency, so the point of its existence was lost. It's also possible the writers discovered that this wasn't as fertile ground for stories as they thought it might be. It certainly would've conflicted with the arc of S6 - we couldn't have seen Buffy struggling to deal with the financial realities of the world if that world had become aware that Buffy was the Slayer.

I don't know if this was actually a thread that they were building and then dropped, or perhaps just something that they turned to more often in the early seasons out of coincidence. And if it was, I think they made the right call. Buffy is best existing in this slightly heightened world working mainly on metaphor, and S4 showed that when you try to bring in the "real" world, its obvious unreality is exposed, and things get boring real quickly.

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #meta #s1 #s2 #s3 #s4 #the Initiative #adam

71 notes · View notes

dysphxtric · 3 years

Text

Mental Illness - My Mental Health Story

TW: Depression, Anxiety, Self harm, Suicide, Sexual Harassment

“You should smile more.”

“It could be worse.”

“Just don’t think about it.”

These were the phrases I heard throughout all of my elementary and high school years. There was never a time when my peers and teachers, would not mention some bizarre, ignorant statement revolving around mental health. Not to mention, my family also contributed heavily to the stigmatization of mental health issues. Essentially, my family approached the subject of mental health with extreme hesitation, they refused to talk about how it affects people of all age, gender, ethical background (etc.) Every time I would say “I’m feeling lost” my family would automatically dismiss my frantic worries and it was not any different when I went to school. My peers would continuously remind me that my pain was not valid and that I need to stop being so sensitive. My primary parental figures, my mother and brother did not have the adequate knowledge or tools to be able to hold space for me. I would frequently hear my mom say, “I could understand someone suffering from PTSD feeling upset or sad but you’re so young and healthy honey, you have nothing to worry about” or the old classic “Someone else has it worse than you��. Whether I was at home or at school, I heard the same ignorant statements spewing out from what felt like everyone. And I could never comprehend what was the point of these falsely “encouraging” statements and why profusely use them? These kinds of statements do not uplift, nor do they empower those struggling with mental health issues, if anything it makes it extremely debilitating when your emotions are not acknowledged nor validated. One cannot expect to simply brush away another person’s emotion, thought or feeling as though it means nothing.

With that being said, growing up, I lived in a dysfunctional household alongside my mother, my older brother, and my grandmother. My mother would always be juggling work, schooling, and her dating life. My brother was very reluctant about staying home so he would always vanish after school, hang out with friends, party hard and engage with various street substances. Now my grandmother? It was not long after she immigrated that she began to immerse herself within the Jehovah’s Witnesses ideology and “religiously” strayed away from us as my mother likes to say. My mother was never fond of religious practices that were not “orthodox”. My grandmother wanted to indoctrinate my mom, brother, and I into joining her religious little club but failed which resulted in countless fights, yelling matches, and multiple dents left in our walls. The back and forth with the yelling was what scared me most in my childhood even if it was over something as small as not closing the cabinet door. I think it was around this time period I experienced violence/ trauma at home and truth be told I was extremely stressed and anxious all the time as a kid. My mother would cover the punched indents by taking magazines and sticking pages onto the indent. Often times my stomach would turn as I looked at the pages covering the area where my brother punched the wall with brutal force. Moreover, I felt impending sadness because all I ever wanted was for everyone in my family to be able coexist and not argue. I was trying to keep the peace between everyone, yet I was always the one that got caught in the middle of everything whether I liked it or not. I would get blamed a lot for trying to mend things for everyone. Even though all I wanted was the best for all my family members.

Fast forward to my pre-teen/ teenage years. By this point, my brother and grandmother were no longer living under the same roof as my mother and I. My brother was living with his ex-girlfriend while working as a security guard meanwhile my grandmother was living in her own little subsidized apartment preaching the word of Jehovah. At that particular time, my mother and I lived in a marvellous urban semi-detached house in a peaceful neighbourhood. My mother’s boyfriend had moved in with us and for the most part I was really happy because at least it was not just me and her.

My mother’s boyfriend lived with us while I was going to school. He was a really nice, caring and warm-hearted individual although I could never understand why my mother argued with him so much. I once told him “You should propose to her, I can see you two together forever” to which he replied with a welcoming smile.

But eventually just like with all good things, there comes an end. The inevitable breakup my mom went through was very bitter and I had to be there for her. Afterall, I was technically the only child that was around to emotionally comfort her. Ironically, the breakup occurred during the time I was being bullied in school. And it was difficult to be fully present for my mother while dealing with a lot of negativity at school. I had been experiencing cyber bullying on MSN by a bunch of peers calling me “weird”, “ugly” and “different”. To make matters worse, the group of kids that bullied me online ended up following me everywhere I went for recess which posed as a big obstacle for my well being. I had to eat inside the portables when teachers weren’t around or inside the girl’s bathroom stall just to avoid being teased. I never felt like I had a safe space to myself where I could be vulnerable and open up. Not to mention, it was a difficult time and there was practically no one I could confide in. I didn’t have a social circle of supportive friends, after all I was an antisocial person. Fear washed over me as I worried about disclosing my unpleasant experience to my mother because she was already dealing with so much, the heartbreak, the bills, work problems (etc.), it was then and there that I decided to lie instead of telling the truth. Ultimately, lying became my cooping mechanism to deal with the ongoing pain.

I kept up the lying for a long time in order to make it seem like everything was okay. I lied to everyone from family members to school peers to the teaching staff to principals to counselors.

For the longest time, lying sheltered me from all sorts of unnecessary questions. No one could really tell whether I was truthful or disloyal because I was able to make it sound believable. When I was a teenager, I continued to go down the same destructive path by being dishonest with myself and others. Many times, the thought of suicide crossed my mind and when I started to think about it and plan/coordinate the intricate details it did not hit me that something was very wrong, and I needed urgent help. A big part of the problem was that I was so used to downplaying my pain, given my family circumstance and stigmatization I experienced growing up with. There is no denying that I would engage in negative self talk convincing myself that I deserved the pain and suffering for not being likeable enough or for not being smart enough.

Sometimes I think that is the thing… people do not understand that I lied because that was what I was required to do in order to survive my childhood. I, myself do not tolerate lying and I think it is a form of betrayal and if I were to be completely honest, I would have NEVER lied to my mom had it been safe for me to express myself authentically in my household.

I did not live in a household where it was safe to speak my mind freely and disagree with my mother. Disagreeing was always the last thing I wanted to do, disagreeing meant I got the belt, my devices would get confiscated or that I was going to get grounded. They say, “Honesty is the best policy” and I do not disagree however, it is not as black and white as one may think. In my situation, lying was not only an adaptive coping mechanism but it became a survival mechanism to keep me safe from harm/threat.

I did not have very much individuality growing up. I felt as though having an opinion of my own was bad. In order to perpetuate this fixated mindset that I had, my mother constantly deemed certain attributed behaviours or thoughts as “good” or “bad”. So, say you were upset about a recent breakup with your partner, my mother would scoff and say, “You know life isn’t just about love right?” and play it like it means nothing to the person affected by the situation.

The first time I ever felt depressed was when I was 13. At that age I did not understand why I was feeling what I was feeling. All I knew was that there was something wrong with me. It did not help when I was being picked on by my classmates telling me “Go die”, “You belong in a ditch ugly bitch.”

The moment when things started getting out of hand was when I was first started my Art and Family Studies class in the same semester. In both classes I was placed into groups amongst other students. In Family Studies I had to be in a collaborative group that would divide responsibilities and tasks accordingly. When it came to cooking, my group consisted of four snobby, rich yet immature peers who were unwilling to help and contribute in any shape or form, I had to become the bigger person and sure enough I took all the responsibilities on myself. Though, it was not a smart move. But I was super shy and felt anxious to do anything different least to say speak up and advocate for myself, so I did what I had to do which was prepare meals, clean, and wash the dishes. At the end of the day, none of my peers thanked me, the only thank you I got was getting groped while washing the dishes and getting laughed at.

After what happened I ran to my best friend in tears to tell her what happened just to find her say “It’s not that bad, you’ll be fine” I felt like my blood was going to boil and I was about to start fuming. I stood thinking “Huh, that is so weird, is this how you comfort a person after being sexually harassed?”

Not to sound all grim but that experience showed me that no one really cared about me. No one cared that I got groped or how I felt in that moment. Let alone not even my “best friend” who was supposed to fulfill her role and be there for me. All I wanted was comfort and to be heard out. I could not even tell my mother about this experience until I turned 21 because of how ashamed I felt carrying around that experience and not having the ability to open up and mourn what happened that day and to be able to heal that damaged part of myself. I carried that incident with me for 7 years in silence because I was scared of being honest.

That specific experience was very detrimental to my mental health. Everything began to spiral out of control, I sprawled into a dark depressive state. I began to have intense panic attacks, insomnia, forgetfulness (etc.) After a certain duration of time, I had thoughts of suicide lingering at the back of my head. I questioned my worth, my identity, my culture, my everything.

The bullying and name calling persisted and became so intense that I ended up missing weeks of school time. Some of the boys in my Art class found it funny to make fun of my last name and call me “Prostitute”.

One day in the early springtime, my Art teacher noticed the marks on my wrists as I was painting and had not said anything until I made it to my last period class. I was called down to the guidance counselors office and was interrogated with questions.

“It has come to our concern that one of the staff members noticed cuts on your arms.”

I sat in silence trying hard to contain my anxiety.

“Are you struggling with depression or low mood? Is everything okay at home?”

It came to the point when I got so tired of lying about my pain that I admitted “Yes, I am struggling, I need help”. I dived into the bullying occurrences, the cat calling, my low grades, my self-esteem, the groping, my home situation (etc). After that, I was told that my mother would have to be called down to the school for “safety” reasons even though my counselor promised not to disclose any personal information to my mother. My greatest fear was that I did not want my mom to know that something was wrong.

Of course, my mom came to my school. She was told everything that had happened. I met her at the counselor’s office just to find her wailing in distress “You are such an embarrassment” and “Your counselor told me what you did, how could you do this?”. When the counselor gave us resources for help, my mother grabbed the papers and shoved them into the trash, got up and yanked me out the office.

The next three days that followed, my mother withdrew into her room not saying a word to me. I felt really uneasy and upset. She had her right to be alone but locking herself away from me and avoiding communication altogether? Didn’t make much sense.

I felt extremely guilty for not opening up to my mother sooner. But instead of choosing to be compassionate and caring she chose to resort to anger. She furiously blamed me for being “quiet” and “not trustful” which all landed on my shoulders again. It was “my” fault I thought.

Bottling this up resulted in a full-blown mental breakdown. I could not focus or concentrate because of everything building up. It came to the point where my mom had to choose between living in a toxic community or starting fresh elsewhere.

And even though my mother kept subjecting me to her harmful stigmatizations, the transition from my old school to my new one helped me greatly. When we moved away, I gradually started to feel better emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Very quickly, I ended up adapting to my new high school where I finally made friends.

One thing I cannot deny is that there definitely was a silver lining to all of this. Although I went through severe bullying and torment at school and home, I managed to reclaim my power and through that I discovered my inner peace after being extracted from my toxic high school. The new school that I ended up attending completely changed me and inspired me to become a more authentic version of myself. It was almost as though I did a complete 180°

My new peers and teachers were enthusiastic, open-minded and caring. The new community I was surrounding myself in was a very positive one that broke down stigmas and encouraged deep understanding and acceptance. My mind was blown when I found that it was easier to conversate with girls and guys at my new school, I was gradually becoming confident and more vocal, and I liked the feeling of not hiding myself away from the world. It felt rejuvenating to finally be heard and seen by others.

Slowly but surely, I began to partake in various activities at my school. I joined the Poetry Club which I would have never considered joining had I stayed back in my old school due to fear of how I was perceived. Ultimately, I started caring and nurturing myself more. My new friends supported me, and teachers began to openly listen to my stories and encouraged me to write. When I started writing, I realized that I could use this medium to cope with my depression and anxiety. The acknowledgment made a major difference in my life like never before.

If it were not for the transition from my old high school, I would have not made progress in developing into the woman I am today. I know that I am not my pain, I am not my mistakes.

Do I still struggle and have bad days? Yes, of course. Just like any human being I have my days when I am not feeling the greatest however, I am more open to learning about how to engage with my mind, body and soul in order to soothe myself during turbulent times. I still have that inner critic however, I have been engaging with activities such as bike riding, painting, drawing, and reading to help occupy my mind which as a result has reduced the time that I spend ruminating. Occupying myself has worked magic, I am now able to reduce and control how much time I spend self-loathing, criticizing, and judging myself. Rather than judging every thought, I’ve learned to slow down and observe.

If you stuck along until the end of my story, I want to thank you for reading through my experience. My hope is that my story can shed some light on the myths and stigmas surrounding mental health, especially within the Eastern European community. I want you all to know that you are ALL valid and I wanted to be able to share my story so that my readers know that they are not alone.

#mental health #mental health awareness #depression #mdd #mood disorder #anxiety #gad #my story #hope #bullying #narcissistic parent #end the stigma #recovery #fyp

38 notes · View notes

wonderloste · 2 years

Note

❛ which is it? are you in love with a person or an idea? ❜ for darcy from chiyo bc we love a bit of angst : ) and i think she'd genuinely wonder about that tbh! but i know we haven't written them much yet so no pressure to answer this!!

RE : & MEME PROMPT.

@tvrningout.

WHAT A TERRIBLY AWKWARD POSITION TO BE PUT IN , tossed between the warring ideologies that what one says is not what they mean and what they mean is the opposite of where their heart lies. Honesty is difficult on his part, so unnatural are the circumstances for which he has some into contact with Alice once more. He is sympathetic, of course, because none of this makes a lick of sense ... least of all him. He wishes it were easier to make her believe how genuine he is. But he supposes if it were easy, none of this would be so dreadfully worth it. Anything that’s worth anything is difficult, isn’t it? That is the way of the world.

“To be entirely honest with you : it is both.” His expression remains hard to read, his gaze shifting to look away from her. Perhaps it’s surprising to hear him admit to it : but if he were not wholly open with his feelings, he does not believe he would ever gain her respect, least of all her understanding or belief. “I will not lie and say that I know you so deeply as I should. To do so would be a disservice to who you are. There is some truth to the fact that my feelings are a product of our intertwined destinies, you and I. You are Alice. Not Alice Liddell, of course — but a force, rather, whom has been tied to me from the moment I existed within this world.”

His hands wring worriedly in his lap, but from where he sits, he leans back against the window he’d taken refuge against, his legs raising to rest upon the sill alongside him. It’s so hard to explain. Even to himself.

“But it isn’t ... that simple, either. It’s ever-changing, my feelings for you. Our destinies that I seek rewritten drew us together, but it is also fact that I know you better now than I knew you two weeks ago. And two weeks from now, I will know you even more than in this moment.” He sounds sad, as he speaks, because he doesn’t find himself particularly convincing. It’s a lack of confidence, but even as he frowns, his solemn discomfort and fear is genuine. “I love the part of you that drew us together. It starts there, but it ends with you. The longer I am with you, the deeper I understand you as an individual - as Chiyo, not as Alice. And that means everything to me.”

More than anything, he doesn’t want her to hate him. To achieve that much would be enough.

“It is quite mad, when I speak of it aloud. I realize this. But it need not make sense to anyone but myself and my own heart. Regardless of what started it, the fact of the matter is that my feelings for you, as a person, are real. One can love both the concept of love and the person who shows them it. The ideas can coexist. That is ... what I believe.”

He doesn’t think he has to choose between the two. He can love Alice : he can love her for being an outsider, for sharing his destiny, whilst also falling in love with who she is as Chiyo. Perhaps, even, one variant could not exist without the other.

“If you are asking me whether I love you because I have pushed you into the shadow of someone you are not ... then my answer is no. I do not think so.” That much, he is certain of. “It is simply ... what it is. For better, for worse. That is my honest answer.”

#tvrningout #i'm always here to cry joke's on u #darcy is very honest so he has that going for him JHBEGRNNJHBNN #◟ ⋆ DARCY › although our vows are broken‚ i will meet you there.#◟ ⋆ IC › you’ll lose your mind wandering for hours‚ may even decide to start talking to flowers.

3 notes · View notes

hephaestuscrew · 3 years

Note

Also, rumination prompt: I lovw thinking about ghosts on the USS Hephaestus. Any thoughts on ghosts on the USS Hephaestus?

Ooh there's loads of potential in this concept and I've definitely seen it executed in some very cool ways... I'll put my rambling thoughts below the cut :)

There are so many good possibilities here: (a) the first Hephaestus crew are haunting the Hephaestus (b) Hilbert and Maxwell come back as ghosts post-mutiny (c) ghost Lovelace rather than clone Lovelace (d) one or more of the other characters dies and returns as a ghost e.g. Eiffel dies of Decima and becomes a ghost (e) any combination of the above... But my favourite of these is probably (a) because it's such an interesting and potentially angsty way of having the two Hephaestus crews interact with each other. And I love the idea of the Hephaestus being literally haunted by the tragedy of its first crew (rather than just metaphorically haunted)- it really underlines the idea of the second Hephaestus crew living in the shadow of what happened to another version of them.

Then the next interesting aspect to these kind of AUs is the question of who can see the ghosts... I think there's interesting potential in every option. Here's some thoughts about the different possibilities for who can see the ghosts of the first Hephaestus crew:

If being able to see ghosts is triggered by a near-death experience, then Eiffel has had more than his fair share! And I do love the idea of the communications officer being the only one who can communicate with the ghosts (it would also be an interesting parallel to his relationship with the Dear Listeners). Eiffel's fear of not being taken seriously would definitely come into play when he's deciding whether/how to tell his fellow crew members about the ghosts. Plus we'd get GhostLambert trying to tell Eiffel how to do his job and Minkowski would probably catch him bickering with what she'd think was a figment of his imagination.

Or we could have Minkowski dealing with the burden of seeing ghosts on top of all the other burdens of being in command. I imagine her being pretty sceptical about the existence of ghosts, so she'd go through a period of denial where she'd tell herself the ghosts were a psychological manifestation of her fears about whether command have told her the truth and whether she can keep her crew safe. And then when she realises they are actually real, she'd have the difficult task of trying to command a dead crew alongside her living one.

Hilbert deserves to be haunted by the people he killed, and if ghosts are about vengeance/unfinished business, it would make sense for them to only appear to Hilbert. I think he would try to treat the ghosts as a scientifically interesting phenomenon rather than as a representation of his crimes. I like the idea of them messing with him in various ways.

Lovelace talks about seeing ghosts of her old crew in 'Variations on A Theme', and making this literal has a lot of potential in terms of exploring her trauma, guilt and grief. This version of the AU could involve lore in which ghosts only appear to people who they had an emotional bond with or who they really care about. I like the idea of the ghost crew trying to support Lovelace when she's dealing with being back on the Hephaestus.

It would be heartbreaking if Lovelace can't see the ghosts, if she's so close to the people she loved and lost but they can't speak to her directly, if one of the other crew members has to relay messages to her.

Ghosthunters often seem to use various kinds of electronic equipment to detect ghosts and we already know that Hera can percieve things that the human senses can't, so there's definitely a potential justification for her being the only one who can see the ghosts.

What if everyone can see the ghosts but they are all keeping it to themselves because they don't want anyone to think they are going mad?

Alternatively, what if no one can see them and they can only influence things in small ways (e.g. weird noises, moving small objects)? Imagine the ghosts of the OG Hephaestus crew desperately trying to communicate to Minkowski, Eiffel and Hera that Hilbert is dangerous when they can't be heard.

Some other thoughts:

What if OG Lovelace comes back as a ghost but the Dear Listeners still make Lovelace 2.0? Ghost Lovelace and Clone Lovelace learning to coexist would be super interesting...

How do ghosts work in space? Can they float through the vacuum of outer space without difficulty? (in which case they would be very useful for knowing what's happening outside the Hephaestus. Maybe one could even carry a message for Eiffel when he's stranded on the USS Horrible Unending Nightmare.)

Idk how ghost AIs would work but I also love the idea of ghost Rhea...

#I just want to chant 'Haunted Hephestus! Haunted Hephaestus!' cos it's such a good AU #Thank you for sending this #It was very interesting to ruminate on #Also whenever I think about ghosts I think about the BBC show so that might have influenced this #Asks #the empty man posteth #Wolf 359 #W359

28 notes · View notes

buzzykrueger · 3 years

Text

The double loss of a childhood - a not-so-brief analysis through Gon and Kite

WARNING: MAJOR CHIMERA ANT ARC SPOILERS //

First of all, this is kinda messy because I was writing and power went off </3. I wouldn’t even call it a meta, more of a psychological analysis.

It's so complex the way Togashi works through symbolisms. Gon and Killua had to let go of their childhood and childish behaviors. Had to make challenging choices. While two of the few grown ups who cared about them and gave proper attention to their relationship, are the perfect imagery of children: new Kite and Bisky.

These two are the greatest and overall positive influences within Gon and Killua lives in terms of adult Hunters, always looking out for the boys. Both of them are experienced, opposing the appearance of a child.

The irony is that, while Bisky and post-CAA Kite look like children (Kite is a child now, to be honest), Gon and Killua are, actually, real children facing painful and forced coming of age, enduring conflicts that even adults can fail to cope with properly - and this has been acknowledged by Knov and Shoot, also two experienced Hunters that got mesmerized by how those two kids could still fight, despite everything they saw and been through.

Anyways, Gon and Killua got their emotional development and their lack of experience put under extreme conditions, forcing them to break their dynamic without proper thinking, basically facing the war, the complexity of morals and relationships like adults.

That said, I’ll won’t be deeply working some points that I’m assuming you are all familiar with, like Gon’s reaction because Kite has been the fuel of his search for approval and being valued, or like how difficult it is for Gon not to handle things alone.

First of all, Kite is indeed Gon’s fuel for his journey. For the first time, someone cared to tell him the truth about Ging, and made him feel a little bit important. Noticed. Someone stayed by his side, for a short moment, and gave him a reason.

And if you take into account that he died two times before Gon’s eyes, it makes everything more shocking for the kid.

“Huh, what do you mean?”

Pitou has killed the physical adult Kite, but the rebirth itself “killed” the father figure imagery that Gon saw in Kite. Resembling now a girl of similar age as Gon's, Kite can not be kept as a replacement for the mentor and father Gon didn't have. And this is a heavy loss, because it took Gon’s goal away from him.

It's also a very smart and symbolic way to end this desperate journey around the urge of becoming deserving of proud, especially from Kite, the one who gave his life a purpose. Because Gon has stated, back in chapter 7, that “Kite seemed to be prouder of him (Ging) than he was of himself”, so he wants to walk the same steps as his biological father to make someone proud of him the same way. He can't project his goals around others anymore - and like the Koala Man said, the heart must be fed, or you’ll end up doing the same things again and never getting satisfied with the outcome. What you seek must be found in yourself.

But what Kite sees, in this chapter called Repentance (337) is that Gon is probably not ready for the amount of reflection waiting for him. Kite then sees no good in weighting his shoulders any more. The moment where he asks Gon “sorry about what?” is important, because it’s where Kite and the readers get to understand that Gon needs a break before realizing it.

Kite, then, avoid this subject. Gon is not ready.

Instead of throwing the truth about what was the real issue here, Kite first gives Gon craved the most: he praises him for being able to defeat a stronger enemy that Kite himself could not.

The boy’s reaction, though, it’s not what we would’ve expect from Gon.

Gon shows no trace of excitement over the fact he has accomplished his first goal - he was able to impress Kite. But, why is this so important? Because this is a breaking point for his journey. Gon doesn’t feel like he cares about this anymore. If Kite is not the same, he shouldn’t be either. If being approved doesn’t mean the same, meeting Ging is pointless. His past self has died, alongside with Kite - figuratively and directly speaking.

The troubled boy acknowledges that "if it wasn't for Killua (name separated from the rest ‘cause he has his special spot) and everybody else, I wouldn't be here". This means a lot for Gon’s development and grief, because the moments where he feels he’s messed up or must redeem himself, he doesn’t mind getting hurt or overcoming fear in order to handle “his mess” all alone. If he proves himself and protect the ones he loves, he will do it. But he needed help, and this is something he doesn’t feel proud of.

That’s when Kite shifts the engine once more.

It’s useless to make Gon feel better addressing old desires. Like Kite himself, Gon also got a second chance. They are both letting go from their past.

With a sweet tone, Kite breaks the cycle of the strong father figure: it's the same for him. Kite, the major inspiration for Gon, says that he didn't make it alone, too - and that doesn't make him less strong. He can’t be this parental figure anymore, maybe he didn’t even know he was. The only thing he knows, is that there are different types of strength. They are not weak for having friends and needing help.

With this, Kite closes the curtains. A strong and admirable Hunter, that wasn’t any less powerful for needing help. Gon shouldn’t be ashamed of this kind of strength: the power of making others wanting to be with him. Something that could not coexist with following Ging steps - Gon must belong to himself and separate him from others’ expectations.

That’s the final act of the mentor Kite, where he dies as a projection. Funny is, this moment with Kite holds some good parallels with the next chapter, where Killua and Gon part ways. Though I don’t think they’ve meant 100% the same, there are some hints that Killua also kept the soil fertile for Gon - but this is yet to be addressed in a future post.

Back to the story, Kite’s not a parent, not even an grown man anymore. He pushes Gon forward to meet Ging, because that’s the one thing that will end this cycle, definitively. No one to look up to, to pursue admiration from, and getting blind from fear of being weak and left behind. He must face change. This desire to be approved even if it costs his life has reached an end. This part of his journey must be accomplished - and left behind.

Gon can now center his journey around developing his self-esteem, thoughts on himself after knowing his own worth. He has a lot to make up for with Killua, but he had been forgiven. The soil is fertile once again, the seed of self forgiveness can grow. He can come up with a goal that centers around love with proper growth and responsibility, without others having to make up for self-esteem he lacks. He’s a traumatized child, that probably never put much thought on how lonely and scared he felt before he acted, and his coping mechanisms mimics his lack of experience.

He can now be free of the thought that, if he sacrifices this "undeserving being" he is on his mind, people will choose not to leave. Because giving up on his life wasn’t the right way to let them feel safe around him. They’ve left anyway. Everyone thanked him and look like they’re not mad, and he has found his father, but why things still look... unsatisfying? What meaning Ging even holds for him, still?

Losing his first goal is like losing his past self, and his childhood. Gon can’t walk backwards, though he comes back to Whale Island, things are not the same anymore, just like him. Losing the imagery and the person Kite is a twist of cycle, losing the urge of meeting Ging is cutting ties with this past self and this mad search for his own value in wrong sources, and now he has to understand what he wants and can do the way he is.

He must figure it out on his own, how he can grow from this and how to fix things before he finds a new goal. He has found something more important than the thing he was once hunting. Or better saying, someone. Someone that should’ve, yes, shared his feelings instead of creating distance - but he knows this certain someone left him with a smile because he cared. Killua will never overbear him, but can’t be the one to analyze everything for him anymore.

Gon has been forced to slow down and think, because in loneliness, there’s no one to impress. There, is where his identity will be found.

When you care about yourself, you learn how to take care of others. True, changing hurts. Losing childhood hurts. Losing strong beliefs and having to reconstruct yourself is a process. Bereaving children mostly don’t get proper attention because their anger, isolation and dismissive attitudes are often scolded than embraced, because they’re expected to endure loss like adults.

The dead don’t come back to life. Last minute, saved by the most important person in his life. But changing is the only inevitable thing while living. Kite was that important, but he must go away from the responsibility Gon has, unconsciously, put him through. Now, his journey consists of a blank page, waiting to be written once again with this new self, in order to learn how to fix his relationship with the one he loves the most. Killua wasn’t planned to exist in Gon’s life. They didn’t expect to run into each other, but as soon as they did, they’ve slowly changed their goals. Things seem off right now, but there is no room for replacements or masks.

Gon might have not noticed, but his goal wasn’t the same already. Meeting Ging brings not the same feeling anymore, especially because Killua was the first thing running Gon’s mind when thinking about this meeting, a major indicative that Killua was, already, his top priority over his father - and maybe he never put a second thought on that, the way Gon is single-minded.

But now there is room for a lot of thinking, and there’s something we must remember, an optimistic hint that I’m saving its analysis for the separation meta:

“Gon is not the type to break a promise twice”, Killua has once said.

#gon #kite #gon freccss #hunter x hunter #hxh #meta #??? not quite tho

141 notes · View notes

lupinsx · 4 years

Text

Jealousy

masterlist

Request: Could you do a draco x reader wherein she’s a close friend in their slytherin group (since she’s in slytherin + pure blood) but then she starts talking and getting close to Cedric which makes Draco super jealous but the only reason why she’s close with Cedric now is because she needs advice from him in order to confess her feelings for draco

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: While Y/N seeks advice from Cedric on how to confess, Draco feels unnerved by their apparent budding romance.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: A frustrating amount of and misunderstandings (plus a kiss at the end).

a/n — Whew, this was my longest one-shot so far, but also my favourite! I feel like I really outdid myself 😅 The request was so cute, I hope you all enjoy reading this!

tags: @obsessedwithrandomthings

*contact me if you'd like to be added to the tag list!

——————————

Draco Malfoy had always been the one to catch your attention.

Whether it be when you'd both find yourselves in the middle of the Slytherin common room, take a passing glance in the hallway, or even coexist in the Great Hall during mealtimes; he would always reside in the corner of your vision, maintaining permanent tenancy in your thoughts.

It was always the same case. No different after this particular Herbology lecture either.

"Merlin, who decided to make gardening mandatory?" spoke the irritated voice of Theodore Nott. The rest of the group groaned in agreement, the hatred of the class being especially mutual.

You were just dismissed from Herbology, the last class of the day, and was now walking alongside the rest of your Slytherin friends. The group consisted of a handful of fourth years—Pansy Parkinson, Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, Daphne Greengrass, you, and Draco Malfoy. The six of you became inseparable after mere introductions before the sorting; the friendship is still running strong today.

"Cut it some slack," you drawled with a playful grin. "Having a trivial class amidst our schedule does provide a decent release.”

Letting out a mocking chuckle, Pansy nodded. "That's true. Even an eight-year-old wouldn't find Herbology mentally strenuous. It's just playing with plants.”

"And that's why no right-minded student would willingly choose it if presented the choice," Blaise added with a scowl.

While the group continued to slam the class they were just in, you halted your words upon the sight of a familiar sixth year, head peeking out amongst the crowd of shorter kids. Jogging slightly ahead, you crashed into said student with a bone-crushing hug.

"Cedric!" you exclaimed with a relieving smile. He returned the hug with an arm lazily draped across your upper back, inciting a subtle response from a boy standing nearby.

Draco couldn't help but roll his eyes at the sight of Cedric Diggory. Lately, he seemed to be the only person you associate with outside of the group. Unfortunately, you being friendly with certain males was a recipe for a jealous Draco. And Cedric most definitely counted as one of those males.

"Hey kiddo," Cedric replied, ruffling your hair with his free hand before pulling away from the embrace. A faint gag-like noise can be heard from the group, though it ultimately went unnoticed by you.

Lowering your voice to a level audible only to Cedric, you hissed, "I need to talk to you."

"Of course," he mumbled in response before looking to the group of Slytherins with a sheepish grin. Before speaking, Cedric slung an arm over your shoulder.

"Hey, do you guys mind if I steal Y/N for a moment?"

With a harsh sneer, Draco crossed his arms and diverted his eyes from the pair. "She's all yours."

The hasty response enkindled a sense of dejection in your heart. He seemed far too eager to get rid of your presence, though you ignored the prospect of this purely being you overthinking.

"Alright then," you said with a slight stammer. Looking to Cedric before heading off, you added, "I'll see you guys later."

Upon the pair's departure, an ill-tempered expression found its way onto Draco's inscrutable countenance. He released his held arms and let out a loud scoff. It was then when the rest of the group took notice of his visible annoyance.

"What's getting you all cross?" Daphne joked as she landed a harsh pat onto Draco's back. "Is it a certain someone? Or certain people?"

A chorus of ooh's followed as Draco turned away in an attempt to conceal his increasingly red face. Clearing his throat, he adjusted his bag strap before addressing the group.

"I'm gonna rest at the dorm," he lied before abruptly taking off, his speed preventing any responses from being made. Rather than heading to the common room, he instead chose to wander around the hallways. Draco needed to clear his head alone, or else his mind would be consumed with the various what-if's appearing whenever you'd leave with Cedric.

Draco was never one to be jealous. He had always been too absorbed in himself to think quite highly of another. It was only until this year when you had become close with one of the esteemed Hogwarts champions that his self-image no longer feels as superlative.

After all, he had always felt prideful of how someone of your intelligence and grandeur paid attention to him. The mere fact that you choose to associate with Draco, even if it's amongst a group, filled him with joy. But when this widely praised Hufflepuff came into the picture, he couldn't help but feel jealous at the thought of someone else making you happy.

He wanted to be the one that makes you laugh. The person responsible for your gleeful expressions and carelessly wide grins.

But how could he when Cedric had now captured your gaze?

Little did Draco know, he couldn't be further from the truth. He had consumed your head to the point of needing a verbal release, and that's exactly why Cedric came into the picture.

"I wish you had seen the way he handled the Mandrake! His face in those earmuffs was too adorable," you cried from within your palms, face buried in it as you swung your legs back and forth.

You were currently in the library, perched on top of a table as you ranted to the boy seated in front of you. The topic at hand was the usual one, being Draco Malfoy and how utterly amazing he is to you.

“I can imagine,” Cedric replied in a sarcastic tone, chuckling at your love-struck nature.

You lightly slapped his arm. “Don’t make fun of me! You don’t know how hard it is to pay attention in class when he is sitting five feet away.”

“But are you ever gonna tell him that?”

“That won’t be necessary.” You were quick to reject his proposal. It wasn’t the first time Cedric suggested coming clean to Draco about your feelings for him, but it certainly won’t be the last you turn it down simply out of fear. Only if you deem a positive reaction at least 70% likely you will attempt a confession, but until then, you were content with concealing your true thoughts.

Unfortunately, your hasty response caught the attention of Madam Pince, who glared at you two disapprovingly. “Silence. The library is not a place for conversation.”

With a sheepish look, you both stood up to leave. “Sorry, Madam Pince.”

Exiting the library, you and Cedric simply ambled along the deserted corridor, conversing mindlessly about Draco’s soft hair and the Triwizard Tournament. Somewhere along, the Yule Ball was brought up, inciting a small blush on your cheeks.

“You’re gonna ask Draco, right?” Cedric asked with an enthusiastic tone, giving a playful nudge. You offered merely a tentative shrug in response.

“I really want to but... what if he doesn’t agree? What if someone else already asked and he said yes? Or what if he’s waiting for someone else to ask—”

Putting a finger to your lips to halt your words, he gave your shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “Don’t overthink it, he’d be an idiot to say no to you.”

His words proved to be only slightly comforting as you stammered, “But there are too many factors involved; I’m just not ready! How would I even ask him to the ball? How would I know what to say?”

“With practice, of course.”

Cedric grabbed your arms, repositioning your body to face him in the middle of the hallway. He then released your frame and clasped his hands. “There. Pretend I’m Draco. Now tell me how you feel and ask me to the Yule Ball.”

You glanced at him hesitantly for a moment but then eased up after he flashed you a wide grin. “Alright. So uh, hello Draco. I have something to say to you.”

Without you two knowing, the real Draco had just turned the corner, entering the hallway in which you two occupied. Upon seeing the tense atmosphere, he merely stood back, subtly hiding behind the wall in curiosity of what’s being said.

“Yes, Y/N?”

With one large intake of air, you spoke quickly before your mind could second-guess the words being said. “I like you. A lot.”

While Cedric smiled proudly at your confidence, Draco froze in his position. He had always suspected your feelings for the Hogwarts champion, but for you to boldly confess was beyond his predictions. He couldn’t ignore the pangs in his chest following his what-if’s being confirmed right in front of his eyes.

Cedric wanted you to feel assured with what you’re doing, so without any hesitancy, he played along. “I like you too, Y/N. A lot.”

Strangely enough, despite knowing this was a fake confession, you felt mildly relieved. Almost ready for the actual confession with Draco. With a small smile, you continued the practice. “On that note, I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me to the Yule Ball? I mean, it’s alright if you say no—”

Cedric grabbed your wrist, interrupting you with an encouraging grin. “It’s alright. Yes, I’ll go with you.”

You nearly leaped into his arms, hugging him tightly. “Thank you,” you mumbled under your breath, referring to his help in building up your courage. However, it wasn’t interpreted similarly with the boy spying nearby.

Draco’s breath was hitched in his throat as he watched the encounter. His heart only seemed to drop lower with every word, officially crashing upon sight of the intimacy at the end. Of course, he thought to himself in despondency. Of course, she picks him.

He clenched his fist, jealousy coursing through his veins. In an attempt to shield himself from further pain, he walked away, mind and legs set on getting out of the castle immediately.

Though amidst his internal agony, he forgot one small detail; you and Cedric stood merely a few feet away. Draco was quick to realize when he accidentally walked past you two conspicuously.

“Oh, Draco?”

The said boy paused in his steps, cringing at his own dull-witted mistake. Turning on his heel, he flashed a fake smile towards you two.

“Hey,” Draco drawled in an awkward tone, eyes moving anywhere but where you stood. While you appeared positively delighted by his presence, Cedric merely scrutinized his countenance.

“Where are you headed?” you asked, feigning nonchalance to mask your flustered state. However, Draco’s uninterested look and dull tone threw you off.

“Dorms,” he simply replied.

You frowned at his indifference, though tried to brush it off in an attempt to recall Cedric’s words. He had told you not to overthink things, so you weren’t planning on doing so. “Great! I was gonna go there too, wanna walk together?”

It was a bold move on your part. You almost never approached Draco outside of a group setting, so the gesture earned a surprised but pleased glance from your friend. Draco scowled at the sight of Cedric eyeing you, finding his anger rising to the surface once more.

“Actually, I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” And with that, Draco left in hasty steps. He needed to properly clear his head. The first attempt ultimately failed, aiding in his budding jealousy, but another try must be made in order for him to sleep that night without drowning in thoughts of inflicting pain on that Cedric Diggory.

As you watched your longtime crush curve your suggestion with a great deal of speed, you felt the small bit of courage gained crumble down inside you, leaving only a lump of misery residing where the hope had previously been.

“Y/N—” Cedric’s attempt at comforting you was cut short when you immediately turned away, trying to reach your room before you could burst into tears. While he watched your slouched figure make its way towards the Slytherin common room, he couldn’t help but dwell over a particular observation, inciting hope inside him for his dejected friend.

Was that jealousy I saw on Draco?

~~~

The next day, you found yourself indifferent towards the previous night's events. You chose to accept the supposed truth of Draco simply not being into you. Being friends with him was enough, you would tell yourself. As long as you get to see him every day, admiring in secret was enough.

“I wanna go to bed already,” you heard Pansy whine amongst the various other noises filling the Great Hall. Breakfast was nearly over, and the group was just finishing up their meals before getting ready for class.

“Doesn’t everyone?” you interjected with a small chuckle, scarfing down the rest of your toast.

As the six of you prepared to head out at the sound of the bell, a presence made itself known in front of you. They initially went unnoticed, until the absence of chatter and the clearing of a throat brought you back to reality.

Stood in front of the Slytherin Table was Cedric Diggory, his signature smile painted onto his face as he clutched his bag strap. His appearance in this area of the dining hall earned him some contemptuous glares from the Slytherins, though you disregarded their looks as you offered a brief side hug.

“Cedric? Don’t you have class?” you asked, curious at his sudden arrival. Ensuring a particular platinum-haired boy was watching, he wrapped an arm around your waist and brought you closer to him.

“Play along, I’m doing this for you,” he hastily whispered, leaning down to speak in your ear. He then pulled his face back before speaking in a tone audible for the group nearby. “Is it bad that I wanted to see you once more? Let me walk you to class.”

You both internally cringed at his loving tone, but a stronger reaction was visible with Draco instead. He was quick to step forward and interrupt the moment.

“Actually, I was going to take her.”

While your eyes widened in surprise, Cedric merely smirked and took a step back. “Well then, I wouldn’t want to steal her away,” he said before heading to the Hufflepuff table, pride laced through his steps. It was at that moment when you understood why he initiated the contact.

That sly bastard.

Before any of Slytherins could follow along, before you could pipe up with an objection, and before Draco can begin questioning where in the hell the sudden confidence came from, he grabbed your wrist and took off. It was an amusing attempt at a romantic stroll, really.

Still, you found yourself blushing like a young schoolgirl. Even if he was practically dragging you down the hall, your rose-coloured lens saw the beauty in such intimacy. If your brain wasn't preoccupied with the reason behind it, you might have been more of a nervous wreck.

For starters, why had he even suggested this? How had Cedric's half-assed attempt at invoking jealousy miraculously work?

You ultimately decided to put aside the questioning thoughts for a moment and savour the physical contact. Draco was beginning to slow his pace to a calming saunter, presumably noticing the speed and manner in which he walked you with. With a subtle gesture, he dropped the hand enclosing your wrist to meet your palm instead, staring off nonchalantly as he did so.

It seemed at that moment, a swarm of bees erupted from the deepest corners of your heart.

Draco felt a similar sensation, being a thousand fireworks going off at once inside of him. Such an insignificant gesture, merely shifting his hand an inch lower to meet yours, yet it meant the world to you both. Embarrassingly enough, neither could remain eye contact throughout the remainder of the stroll.

When the Transfiguration class came into view and Draco stopped in his track, you felt your reverie shatter in an abrupt motion. He glanced towards you, tentatively releasing your grip.

Upon the lack of touch, you found yourself regaining consciousness, consequentially resuming your overthinking. Rather than waiting for him to speak, you chose to assume his negative response and leave to preserve your emotions early.

Thus, without offering another glance, you entered the classroom and strode towards your desk.

Leaving a certain platinum-haired boy behind, wondering what he did wrong to cause such repulsion.

"Settle down, class," spoke the authoritative voice of Professor McGonagall.

Throughout the lesson, you had your mind running in various different directions. Part of you wished to continue swooning over Draco and how he held your hand, while the other part dwelled over his hesitancy at the end, likely meaning he regretted what he had done. It made sense to you that he would.

Meanwhile, Draco felt bad about how quickly you left once he released your hand. Maybe she just wanted Cedric to walk her, he thought to himself sadly. Maybe I was just interfering.

Oh, how thoroughly incorrect they both were.

By the end of class, you wanted to approach the matter one last time and ask Draco whether he truly felt regret rather than bawl over mere possibilities.

As the rest of the class filed out, leaving only you and Draco remaining, you slowly walked up to him. He had his face pointed down as he shoved the books into his bag messily. By the time you had reached close enough to begin speaking, he simply slung his bag over his shoulder and left the classroom with hardly any time to spare.

He just walked off, very much aware of your presence.

And somewhere in Draco's twisted little mind, he thought he was doing the right thing. By evading confrontation, he wouldn't have to hear you openly reject him, and you could be happy with Cedric.

He wouldn't be interfering that way. It was for the best.

Though you both tried to empathize with the situation, neither managed to avoid the tears by the end of the day.

~~~

The last three days had been excruciating for you, mentally and emotionally. You wanted to brush past the incident as you did the day before, but it somehow hurt more this time. You felt mildly confident after the stroll and hand-holding gesture, but him proceeding to ignore you shortly afterwards shattered all remaining bits of hope.

You wanted to get over it. You wanted to get over him. But you didn’t know how.

It was currently late in the evening, and the Slytherin common room appeared to be deserted. You intended to take a minor detour from the dorms, instead seeking your friend in order to clear your head. Swiftly, you made your way down the stairs, checking for any wandering students.

After you deemed it safe to exit, you approached the portrait hole with furtive steps. Though very quickly, you found your inspection to be flawed.

“Y/N?”

“Damn it,” you muttered under your breath before glancing up slowly. Your face held a sheepish sort of surprise at the presence of another in the common room.

Once the figure came into view, you were startled by the sight of Draco Malfoy, eye-bags prominent amidst his sickly pale face. You hadn’t seen him often since that lesson. He would rarely attend mealtimes, or appear for five minutes whenever he would. The majority of shared classes he had ditched, miraculously coming down with a cold before each one. The entire group was beginning to feel quite worried—you included.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his voice small and timid. It no longer held the same imposing and prideful aura you had always admired.

Clearing your throat, you looked to your feet as you spoke. “To see Cedric.”

That line seemed to hit a nerve within Draco, because the moment the name left your lips, his face twisted into a scowl. Upon tilting your head back up, you were met with his ill-tempered expression.

“Draco? What’s the matter?” you stammered. Ignoring your question, he ran his fingers through his hair and tugged on them with frustration. Draco then looked to you with desperation pouring through his silver-tinted eyes.

“What does he have that I don’t?”

You merely stared at him in response, blinking with confusion. As he glanced at you expectantly, you found it hard to produce the words in your throat.

“Well? What is it?” he pressed further, taking a step in your direction before continuing.

“Is it the fact that he’s the esteemed Hogwarts champion? His popularity? His looks? What made you fall for him,” Draco paused for a moment, lowering his voice to a shaky whisper, “and not me?”

You never caught that last part, so instead, you waved your hands to shut down the assumptions. “Me and Cedric, we are just friends—”

“Oh, bullshit.”

“Bullshit? How can you be so sure?”

“Because I saw you confess,” he snapped. The area went quiet for a moment, Draco attempting to calm himself back down, while you were left stunned. “And I saw you ask him to the Yule Ball. Friends don’t do that.”

After rummaging your mind for any instance he might be referring to, you suddenly recalled the practice confession a couple of days ago. It didn’t take long for you to connect the dots and realize Draco appeared in front of you right after the profession was over.

“Draco, you have the wrong idea. What you heard back there— I wasn’t confessing to him.” Draco held a look of disbelief, which was understandable given what a wild claim it was. It did look exactly what Draco was thinking. You knew the only way to convince him was to divulge what really went down.

“Then what was it?” he prompted with a dry chuckle.

“He was helping me practice what to say to you!”

“Say to me? What do you mean—” Draco paused, his eyes widening upon realizing your words. You took the silence as a gesture to continue.

“Draco, I like you. A lot.”

And once again, the room went quiet. His lips parted, words stuck in the back of his throat. The cherry shade washed over his cheeks went unseen under the dim lighting. You simply stood in front of him, rocking on your heel as you await a reply.

After what felt like an hour of pure silence, you decided to follow through with what was planned days before. With Cedric’s encouragement in mind, you took a deep breath. “And I was wondering if you’d like to go to the Yule Ball with me?”

Draco’s eyes became impossibly wider, and without uttering a single word, he nodded ever so slightly. The shock was still evident on his face as he did so.

“Actually? You will?” you asked, jubilation apparent in your tone. Until your expression faltered, and you began doubting yourself and his agreement. “Wait, do you truly want to go? You know, you don’t have to agree out of pity—”

Before you could continue rambling on, the soundless boy halted your words with a swift motion, connecting your lips with his.

The abrupt kiss had rendered you frozen, eyes squeezed shut in complete surprise. It was only when you felt his cold fingers brush over the exposed skin on your waist that your nerves sprang back to life, and you began kissing back with equal fervour.

You felt the urgency in the way Draco had kissed you. The desperation, as if the moment he’s let go, you would be with Cedric and he would be crying alone in the common room. He wanted to savour this before it would all come crumbling down, because he genuinely believed that it all would at the end.

Until you pulled away, and expecting the worse, he was met with an airy chuckle erupting from the base of your throat. It was quite possibly the most delightful sound he had ever heard.

“You’d really go with me?” you said under your breath, a wide grin still painted on your face as Draco kept his grip around your waist.

Planting a small peck on your forehead, he reassured, “Of course I will. What more would I ever want?”

The rest of the evening was spent within each other’s grasp, feelings of security and comfort prevalent throughout the tranquil night. Worries from the days before had slipped your minds; all that remained was thoughts of one another.

And nothing else can get in the way.

——————————

a/n — And there you have it! Thanks for reading 💞 Please like, comment, and reblog to show support! Feel free to send requests or feedback in my asks.

#harry potter fanfiction #my prompts #writing #draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagines #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy x reader #draco one shot #draco imagines #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco x reader imagines #draco x reader #my imagines

373 notes · View notes

p1harmonyofficial · 3 years

Text

[📰] K-Pop Rookies P1Harmony Are Writing Their Own Coming of Age Story

By Crystal Bell

K-pop group P1Harmony debuted three months ago with their audacious single "Siren," and member Jiung is already dreaming of the perfect solo vacation. The 19-year-old singer wants to emphasize that this is a trip he'd like to — no, needs to — do alone, when he can safely do so. ("You need to bold the word 'alone,'" leader Keeho adds in English, a knowing glint of mirth in his eyes. "Put it in italics too.") So, more about this excursion: "If possible, I want to go to a foreign country," Jiung tells Teen Vogue from an office in Seoul, South Korea. He doesn't have a specific place in mind, just somewhere new and exciting and, most importantly, a place where he can be alone to freely organize his thoughts without any other responsibilities.

It sounds like a lyric ripped from the pages of his notebook, or the plot of a coming-of-age movie his 17-year-old groupmate Intak would enjoy: a young man on a voyage of self-discovery, chasing a feeling to a faraway land to escape his adolescent ennui. For now, however, it's just a lofty resolution for the new year.

"I also want to travel alone because I've never done it before," youngest member Jongseob, who recently turned 15, enthusiastically offers in Korean. Jiung, always one to help the younger sort out his feelings, is quick to quash the teenage rapper's theoretical plans. "That's not very realistic," he says. "You're too young to travel alone." Undeterred, Jongseob carries on: "Then my goal this year is to drink more milk."

"He wants to grow taller, but I don't think milk helps that much," Keeho comments, shaking his head while his teal quiff stays firmly in place. "I heard that's a myth."

Technically, they're not wrong. Unaccompanied minors can't travel internationally without a parent's formal consent in South Korea, and there's no proven scientific correlation between dairy and height. But spoken aloud, this interaction sounds more like playful goading among good friends. It's a testament to Keeho, Theo, Jiung, Intak, Soul, and Jongseob's comfortable dynamic as a group that the copper-haired youngest just earnestly smiles through the minor sting of his hopes being swiftly dashed.

For all of the training that goes into a K-pop artist's career, perhaps the most vital lesson is learning how to symbiotically coexist in close quarters with someone who is unfamiliar to you. Like most things, it is a process. Harmony isn't achieved overnight, especially among six teenage boys who have differing definitions of the word "clean." Cultural differences present unique challenges, too. When Keeho left his home in Canada to pursue his musical dreams as a trainee at FNC Entertainment in Seoul, he didn't have much trouble fitting in. Or so he thought. "He was funny," Jiung says in retrospect. "But I don't think we were able to communicate well." It wasn't that they couldn't understand what Keeho was saying — the soulful singer grew up speaking Korean with his family — but rather they couldn't understand him.

"Everyone would be stressed out, and I would be like, 'Guys, relax. Why are you stressing out over this?'" Keeho says animatedly with his hands. "They couldn't understand why I was so relaxed. How could I not care about anything? And I couldn't understand why they were always so stressed about things. It took a while to get on the same page."

That's where communication comes in. "The key is being honest," Jiung explains. "We have a lot of talks." These regular conversations allow the members to resolve potential issues before they spiral into larger, more disharmonious problems. Keeho is refreshingly open about this. "We're always stuck together," he adds. "We live together. We see each other 24 hours a day. Seeing anyone 24 hours a day, you'll eventually be, like, ugh, get away from me, but because we communicate so much, that [feeling] is reduced." Establishing rules and boundaries also helps. "We have a basic rule that you clean up the mess you've made," Jongseob says from where he's perched behind Jiung. (This rule is especially important to methodical Jiung.) And then there's vocalist Theo, the eldest member who also takes on the role of the group's even-keeled mediator because he's a good listener, and he likes giving advice.

"I'm not very opinionated," the blonde says. At 19, he's a few months older than Keeho but harder to read. He's both lighthearted and enigmatic. "I'm not good at expressing my feelings," Theo explains. "But the members are really good at expressing themselves and their emotions, so I'm learning how to open up because of them." According to Keeho, Theo is "bad at being serious," adding, "We'll have to have a serious talk, and he won't be able to take it. He's always trying to lighten the mood. He's the comedic relief."

Keeho makes a habit of describing the members' various idiosyncrasies in fervent detail. It's a very leaderly thing to do, to make sure that everyone feels understood. Occasionally, he also jumps in to help interpret their answers into English, or to encourage others to speak. Soul, who is half-Korean but was raised in Japan, could be described as a quiet person: an introvert who wears a lot of black, listens to metal, and has a particular obsession with massive skull rings and accessories. But he's also acutely perceptive. He'd rather listen and observe than be an active participant in the conversation. "I like when the rest of the members are discussing an idea," he says quietly in Korean (he's still learning the language). "I like watching them talk." It's not that he's not involved, but as Keeho puts it, "He's always supporting us silently and observing us." For Soul, it's more fun to sit and watch.

You can get a sense of these dynamics as they unfold on the last track of the group's debut EP, Disharmony: Stand Out. It's a skit, or audio recording of the members — then, just trainees — as they talk candidly about their dreams to perform and contemplate the implications of such aspirations. "I work hard here for the debut, but when I go to school, I wonder, 'What am I doing here?'" Intak says on tape, recalling how strange it feels to not have the same priorities as his classmates who are all preparing for their college admissions. Theo quells his concerns, telling him how lucky he is to already be working toward his dream. "That's a cool thing," Keeho adds, as Soul silently listens in the background.

While his peers prepared for their academic futures, Intak was spending his evenings dancing, rapping, singing, and writing lyrics, while also stunt training alongside his groupmates and preparing to become a… movie star. A few weeks before the release of their album, P1H: A New World Begins hit theaters across South Korea in early October. The first K-pop origin story to hit the big screen, the feature film introduced P1Harmony and their sci-fi lore to the masses. Long story short: After a deadly virus spreads chaos and violence around the globe, six boys with extraordinary gifts are humanity's only hope for survival. The filming experience was invaluable for the artists, who until that point had only ever studied music and performance. "Acting training really helped with my facial expressions," Intak says. "I learned how to portray my emotions on stage." Keeho agrees, adding, "We got very friendly with the camera."

Singers who rap, rappers who sing, dancers who act — the boys of P1Harmony forgo clearly defined roles in favor of being versatile and, well, good at everything.

As for their music, Disharmony: Stand Out is a snapshot of Gen Z unrest, simmering with angst ("Siren") and bucking wildly, vibrantly against convention ("Nemonade"). Teenage turmoil has been fueling the K-pop industry since the very beginning, and there's a certain nostalgia to P1Harmony's no-holds-barred approach. Members Soul and Jongseob both credit B.A.P and their hard-hitting style with inspiring them to become artists, with Zelo influencing Jongseob to pursue rap in elementary school. You can hear those more aggressive, hip-hop-tinged influences on Disharmony, as well as softer, more lyrical R&B flourishes ("Butterfly").

"We wanted to convey feelings and situations that are not harmonious," Jongseob says. "We want to say don't be afraid to stand out and to say what you want to say — speak your truth, and do it with courage and confidence." Despite his age, the young rapper carries himself like a veteran. By all accounts, he's earned the title, having won the competition series K-pop Star 6 at age 12 in 2017 and competed in YG Treasure Box less than two years later. These experiences, he says, helped him feel more comfortable performing. By the time he came to FNC, he was already a prodigy with the confidence and flow of a performer twice his age.

"There are so many people, our age especially, who aren't always able to speak courageously and confidently," Keeho adds. "So we wanted to encourage everyone, especially ourselves, to never be afraid to say what you want to say."

And they practice what they preach. All of the members are credited lyricists on the album, with all six collaborating on the roaring hip-hop track "That's It." Part cypher, part vibes, "That's It" is teeming with boyish swagger and possibility. "Even though it was the first time all six of us worked on a song together, surprisingly we were all on the same page from the very first meeting, and it came together quickly," Jiung recounts, adding that each member wrote their own verse. "It was fun," Keeho chirps.

That creative energy is also channeled into their performances. "Because we do take part in a lot of the songwriting, we also want to convey that in our dance," Intak explains. Though he's part of the group's rap line, his first love was dance. He started taking lessons as a child. "My mom is a dancer, so she's where I got my love of dancing," he says. As such, he's well-versed in conveying emotion through motion. "We always have an idea of how we want to portray these emotions with our bodies," he says. The members choreograph their own center gestures. These movements are a small but significant part of any performance, because this is where their charisma and individuality shine brightest.

"I wanted to become a singer because I wanted to perform onstage," Theo says. "So being able to be on music programs performing on real stages, surrounded by bright LED lights and visual backdrops, I feel like a main character. When all of the lights are on me, I feel like a star."

Unsurprisingly, even when he's offstage, he's still singing. He even likes to call his friends and take song requests. "I like to sing to my friends through the phone," he says. "I'll sing anything they want. I play piano for them, too. They're very open to listening to me." Next to him, Keeho adds, "My friends would not want me to sing to them." (The internet respectfully disagrees.) Meanwhile, Jongseob turns to making music and writing lyrics in his downtime. It's a great way to relieve stress, he says. These days, Intak turns to animated films to ease his mind. He's a fan of Studio Ghibli films, and he really likes the Japanese manga characters Doraemon and Shin Chan.

"I watch a lot of coming-of-age stories about these innocent kids who are in the process of becoming adults," he explains. "I get inspired by watching them. I don't want to lose that innocence, so watching those animations make me feel youthful." It's hard to imagine Intak without his boyish sensibility. It's seeped into every social media post and YouTube vlog (or, #PLOG). Yet, as an artist, as a teenager, it's an unusual phenomenon to be perceived by thousands of fans before having the clarity to perceive yourself. It's something no amount of Miyazaki or training prepares you for.

Initially, Theo had a hard time opening up on camera. The mere thought of it made him nervous, but the more he did it, the easier it was for him to parse his own feelings. "I'm not very good at expressing emotions like thank you and I love you," he says. "But it's a lot easier to express those feelings now because I feel them so sincerely. I can say thank you for loving me [to fans] because I truly mean it."

"There are people from all around the world who leave me messages, and that makes me so happy," Intak says. "It drives me to do more and to give more to them."

And there will be more to give. Disharmony: Stand Out was just the beginning, and Keeho already has some very big goals for 2021. At the top of the list? "Rookie of the Year, come on!" he says spiritedly of the K-pop industry's coveted award. "It's definitely possible. I'm manifesting it right now." He also wants to make more music, maybe release more covers. "We want to come back a lot," he smiles. "I'm thinking [of] at least three releases next year."

Then there are more personal goals, like Jiung's solo travels. "I want to take better care of my mental health," he adds, noting that it starts with a more positive mindset. "I want to be a better person overall." Intak wants to, for the first time in his young life, maintain a consistent routine for a healthier lifestyle. That includes getting enough sleep when there aren't any schedules. ("He could sleep, but he chooses not to," Keeho jokes.) After monitoring his fancams, Theo has decided that he wants to build more muscle. And Soul hopes to go home to Japan to see his dog, a Frenchie named Mochi.

As for Keeho, in true Libra fashion, he wants to maintain a sense of balance: "I want to stay true to myself," he says. "I don't want to be like, oh, the fame is getting to me. I don't want to change. I want to stay grounded and stay thankful and be grateful, always. I also want to make some more money." He laughs, then adds, "I can't lie!"

No, he can't. Honesty is the key to harmony, after all.

#p1harmony #ot6 #t:news #era:disharmony : stand out #210123

21 notes · View notes