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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years

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Katniss, bravely stepping inbetween Gale and Thread (and his whip) - she’s so courageous and protective, she deserves the world 😭

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 7-9 are below the cut. (Is it just me, or are my notes getting longer and longer with each and every post? I swear, this book is so meaty, we’ll soon reach the point where I have to type out the entire chapter, with my thoughts in the margins)

heart

“Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else in unthinkable.”

I think these words are a result of Katniss being so afraid of losing Gale that she’s kinda overcompensating; their relationship has been strained these past few months and they’d just had a row, separating from each other on bad terms - and the next time she sees him, he’s been whipped so bad that he’s lost consciousness and could be potentially dying from his wounds. Of course she’s so terrified of losing him, that she’s holding on as tightly as she can to him. It’s important to keep in mind how important their relationship is to her and we see that in her preceding thoughts: What a pair we were - fatherless, frightened, but fiercely commited, too, to keeping our families alive. Desperate, yet no longer alone after that day, because we’d found each other. I think of a hundred moments in the woods, lazy afternoons fishing, the day I taught him to swim, that time I twisted my knee and he carried me home. Mutually counting each other, watching each other’s backs, forcing each other to be brave. - Gale was the first person who was her equal, a kindred spirit, her partner. After Katniss had lost both of her parents when her father died and her mother succumbed to her depression - the people who were supposed to care for her and guide her through growing up - she was stuck with the role of sole provider and protector of her family at age eleven. She must have been so lonely all this time until she met this boy who understood what she was going through and they learned from each other and shouldered their burdens together, to take off some of the overwhelming pressure. Of course that relationship, of course Gale is important to her. But also now their relationship has become more fragile, after the Games they are in danger of growing apart - it’s got to be so terrifying to feel like the one proper, mutual relationship you’ve had seems to be slipping through your fingers. With everything that’s going on, her entire life as it is teetering on the razor’s edge (heck, the president himself has been threatening her and her family!), it’s no wonder that Katniss is craving that familiarity and safety that her relationship with Gale used to provide her with. And seeing Gale in this state just has her holding on to him more tightly than ever.

mind

Hmm, no big moment is coming to my mind right now; I think I’m always most impressed by the tiny moments that show how tenacious, resilient and fiercely kind humans can be - like Darius stepping forward to stop Gale’s cruel punishment, Leevy volunteering to tell Hazelle about Gale and promising to stay with the Hawthorne children, Madge bringing the morphling, Katniss pressing Darius’s hand in the Training Center, Twill taking Bonnie with her to flee to D13 and so on.

soul

I believe that Katniss was honestly surprised to learn that Gale had feelings for her; she had categorically shut down the idea of entering a romantic relationship for herself, so I don’t think she’d seriously consider anyone being romantically interested in her in return (that’s not how that works, of course, but I think that’s how she perceived the whole shtick). Their kiss threw her completely for a loop and if anything, she mostly saw it as something that contributed to the deterioration of their previous, easy and comfortable relationship.

Chapter 7

A mockingjay is a creature the Capitol never intended to exist. [...] They hadn’t anticipated its will to live. - In a way, the Capitol continues to make this mistake with the people living in the districts, too - underestimating their will to live (opposed to just surviving)

I look in his [Gale’s] eyes. His temper can’t quite mask the hurt, the sense of betrayal he feels at my engagement to Peeta. This will be my last chance, this meeting today, to not lose Gale forever. - Okay, we don’t know how much Katniss might be (incorrectly) presuming here, but the idea that Gale might feel betrayal because his best friend is being forced into an engagement pisses me off. It’s fine if he’s feeling jealous because she’s being paired off with Peeta when he wishes he could have a shot with her, but how in the world does this even rate as a betrayal?! A) It’s done against her will and B) Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean Katniss owes him anything when we’re talking about romantic feelings... Ugh 😒 Also, it’s quite noteworthy how insecure Katniss feels about their relationship - she’s constantly worried Gale will drop her and their friendship (waiting for Gale after the camera teams left after winning the Games: I’d begun to think that he’d given up on me in the weeks that had passed.- Ch. 2) and it doesn’t help that she’s been through that extreme, traumatic experience without him and they haven’t had much opportunity to spend a lot of time with each other (with the Victory Tour and Gale having to work so much) and when they do hang out, they don’t seem to really talk much, which doesn’t exactly help...

He [Gale] tosses the gloves on my lap. “Here. I don’t want your fiancé’s old gloves.” “He’s not my fiancé. That’s just part of the act. And these aren’t his gloves. They were Cinna’s,” I say. “Give them back, then, he says. - Gale can be so petty sometimes 🙄

While I talk, [...] [Gale] occupies himself with turning the food in the leather bag into a meal for us. Toasting bread and cheese, coring apples, placing chestnuts in the fire to roast. I watch his hands, his beautiful, capable fingers. Scarred, as mine were before the Captiol erased all marks from my skin, but strong and deft. [...] Hands I trust. - Oh boy, this moment really shows how these two are at cross purposes right now - Gale’s prepping the food as you would for a toasting (romantic connotation), while Katniss is oberserving his hands, thinking how their hands used to match (not anymore!) and basically wishing herself back into the time before the Games, when things were ‘simpler’/more clearly defined (and also platonic!); there is nothing romantic from her P.O.V. - it’s all about the friendship and trust

[Gale] steps in and I feel myself lifted off the ground. The room spins, and I have to lock my arms around Gale’s neck to brace myself. He’s laughing, happy. “Hey!” I protest, but I’m laughing, too. Gale sets me down but doesn’t release his hold on me. “Okay, let’s run away.” [...] “You’re sure?” I say. [...] “I’m sure. I’m completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure.” - Yeah, and I’m sure you’re not going to change your opinion in the next five minutes, Gale... In his defense, Gale didn’t know all the details, so in that regard it’s totally valid that he might decide to change his mind after having more input... It’s just that Katniss specifically asks him whether he’s sure and his reply is so full of conviction (100% sure!), only for him to do a complete 180 just a couple of minutes later; Gale’s very hot and cold, which makes for such a harsh contrast when compared to Peeta’s more measured reaction later in the chapter

He tilts his forehead down to rest against mine and pulls me closer. [...] I don’t try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice drops to a whisper. “I love you.” That’s why. - Oh man, Katniss just can’t catch a break 😞 Really not wise of Gale to drop the L-bomb here (after, what? a kiss they never talked about and little else... their communication is truly abysmal and it’s really damaging to their relationship, hurting the both of them)

“Gale, I can’t think about anyone that way now. All I can think about, every day, is how afraid I am. And there doesn’t seem to be room for anything else. If we could get somewhere safe, maybe I could be different. I don’t know.” I can see him swallowing his disappointment. “So, we’ll go. We’ll find out.” - I mean, honestly, I totally understand where Katniss is coming from - she doesn’t need a romantic interest, she needs a partner, which is why she’s been so eager to talk to her hunting partner, someone she’s used to rely on for survival and now he’s also confounding their relationship by introducing that romance-angle (as if it wasn’t bad enough that her relationship with Peeta got kind of messed up when that same angle was forced upon them prematurely)... Also, telling how Katniss thinks she’d have to be different to maybe even consider a romantic relationship with Gale - Katniss as she is right now just can’t see herself wanting to be with Gale romantically; it would require a change... I’ve got to give Gale credit for still going along with it, and trying to push past his disappointment, though

“My [Gale’s] mother is going to take some convincing.” [...] “Mine, too. I’ll just have to make her see reason. Take her for a long walk. Make sure she understands we won’t survive the alternative.” “She’ll understand. I watched a lot of the Games with her and Prim. She won’t say no to you,” says Gale. - That’s interesting, I wonder what exactly Gale means by that? That Mrs. Everdeen won’t say no to Katniss because she feels guilty that Katniss had to go through the Games or because watching her daughter compete in the Games really made her realize how messed up Panem is? Or that she’s more inclined to trust Katniss’s judgement after everything that has happened?

“Haymitch will be the real challenge.” “Haymitch?” Gale abandons the chestnuts. “You’re asking him to come with us?” “I have to, Gale. I can’t leave him and Peeta because they’d-” His scowl cuts me off. “What?” “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how large our party was,” he snaps at me. - Gale doesn’t seem to have realized how close and important Peeta and Haymitch have become to Katniss... maybe because they never properly talked about this aspect of Katniss’s life (I swear, their shoddy communication must account for at least half of the damage their relationship has taken in these past few months alone)

“What if he [Peeta] decides to stay?” he [Gale] asks. I try to sound indifferent, but my voice cracks. “Then he stays.” “You’d leave him behind?” Gale asks. “To save Prim and my mother, yes,” I answer. “I mean, no! I’ll get him to come.” “And me, would you leave me?” Gale’s expression is rock hard now. - Boy, oh boy! I think Gale knows (like Peeta) that Katniss could never leave behind the people she cares about; then, he’s kind of gauging whether Peeta has already received the Katniss Everdeen Stamp of ‘Caring’ - and, as it turns out, he has! And then Gale ends up making it into a bit of competition by asking her whether she would leave him behind (or, alternately, her turning him down has him confused about the depth of their relationship, I dunno); not fun

“There’s an uprising in Eight?” he [Gale] says in a hushed voice. I try to backpedal. To defuse him, as I tried to defuse the districts. - Katniss is going to be about as successful as she’d been at defusing the districts, too - But here we have another example of Katniss trying to rein in Gale’s temper because she’s afraid he’s going to get himself in trouble (like when she decided not to tell him about Snow’s visit to her house because she was worried what he’d do with that information)... It’s really not great that she feels the need to censor herself so he won’t do something dangerous... Katniss knows first-hand how badly impulsive actions and decisions can be received in the Capitol - and she never even meant for a rebellion to happen!

“And it’s my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with those berries, none of this would’ve happened. Peeta could have come home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe. too.” “Safe to do what?” he says in a gentler tone. “Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the reaping? You haven’t hurt people - you’ve given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. - Katniss is taking all the responsibility upon herself again... Gale is right to point out that she was merely a catalyst, not the cause for the rebellion - the cause are the awful living conditions of the people in the districts

“Stop it! You don’t know what you’re saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they’re not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of district people - they mean less than nothing to them!” I say. “That’s why we have to join the fight!” he answers harshly. “No! we have to leave here before they kill us and a lot of other people, too!” [...] “You leave, then, I’d never go in a million years.” [...] “What about your family?” “What about the other families, Katniss? The ones who can’t run away?” - This discourse is so painful because they are both right - Katniss has seen more of the districts and how things are handled beyond the (relatively tame) confines of D12 and it’s fair that she wants to know that the people she cares about are safe from harm; Gale, of course, has a point commenting that not everyone has that opportunity and the only way to have a long-lasting, wide-spread improvement of their conditions is through rebelling against their oppressor - but that will inevitably come along with sacrifices and collateral damage and it’s easy to say that it will be worth it in the long run, but when those who are hurt/dead could end up being your loved ones, it’s definitely easier said than done

He throws Cinna’s gloves at my feet. “I changed my mind. I don’t want anything they made in the Capitol.” And he’s gone. I look down at the gloves. Anything they made in the Capitol? Was that directed at me? Does he think I am now just another product of the Capitol and therefore something untouchable? The unfairness of it all fills me with rage. But it’s mixed up with fear over what kind of crazy thing he might do next. - Gale getting rid of Cinna’s gloves just because they are from the Capitol is a prime example of this “us vs. them” mindset that he will be (worringly) fast to adopt - of course, perceiving the opposite side as “other” will make it easier to fight against them; however, it’s all too easy to lose sight of your opponent’s humanity when you think like that (think of how Gale has a hard time understanding Katniss’s distress upon seeing her prep team being treated so terribly/inhumanely in D13); Katniss feeling upset that Gale might perceive her as a product of the Capitol instead of its victim is understandable (and isn’t that exactly what the inhabitants of D13 are going to think of Peeta in MJ?) - and yet, she is still worried Gale could get himself into trouble with his impulsivity; she’s a good bean

”Going to town?” I ask. “Yes. I’m supposed to eat dinner with my family,” he [Peeta] says. - I’m tripping over the word ‘supposed’ here - it doesn’t sound like Peeta’s looking forward to hanging out with his fam, although it can’t be that often, since they’ve been away on Victory Tour and he is living alone (maybe the end of the chapter will give us another hint why that is 😒😒)... I can’t help but wonder whether these family dinners are mainly for public perception (in that case... it really is no wonder Peeta is so good at playing the cameras - poor guy had to fool the outside world his entire life) or because they are the only chance for Peeta to hang out with any of the members of his family he might actually want to spend some time with

“Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?” Peeta takes my arm, bringing me to a stop. He doesn’t need to check my face to see if I’m serious. “Depends on why you’re asking.” President Snow wasn’t convinced by me. There’s an uprising in District Eight. We have to get out,” I say. “By ‘we’ do you mean just you and me? No. Who else would be going?” he asks. - Peeta doesn’t just blindly agree to Katniss’s proposal; he needs to know what’s going on first (he has been burnt before - no more secrets!) - and it’s a testament to how well he knows her that as soon as he’s asking whether she meant just the two of them, he corrects himself because knows that Katniss would never leave the ones she cares about behind

“What about Gale?” he says. “I don’t know. He might have other plans,” I say. Peeta shakes his head and gives me rueful smile. “I bet he does. Sure, Katniss, I’ll go.” I feel a slight twinge of hope. “You will?” “Yeah. But I don’t think for a minute you will,” he says. [...] “Then you don’t know me. Be ready. It could be any time.” - Telling how Peeta immediately agrees to the plan once he gathers that Gale won’t come - he knows that Katniss cares about Gale and could never leave him behind, ergo she’d never actually leave under these circumstances - he knows her so well. Also, Katniss’s reaction is like that of a petulant child, it’s kind of funny 😄

“Katniss, hold up.” [...] “I really will go, if you want me to. I just think we better talk it through with Haymitch. Make sure we won’t be making things worse for everyone.” - Ultimately, Peeta would follow Katniss to the ends of the earth - doesn’t mean that he can’t throw in a sensible suggestion in there as well 😉 (Also, in the next chapter we will see how Katniss, Gale, and Peeta might be a little too inexperienced/naive to be able to form accurate expectations of what is to come - Haymitch and his generation have a little more experience in that regard)

He raises his head. “What’s that?” [...] I haven’t noticed the strange noise coming from the square. A whistling, the sound of an impact, the intake of breath from a crowd. “Come on,” Peeta says, his face suddenly hard. I don’t know why. I can’t place the sound, even guess at the situation. But it means something bad to him. - Why does my sweet boy know what a whipping sounds like, Suzanne, huh?! Care to explain that? 😭

Peeta steps up on a crate against the wall of the sweetshop and offers me a hand while he scans the square. I’m halfway up when he suddenly blocks my way. “Get down. Get out of here!” He’s whispering, but his voice is harsh with insistence. - Peeta was offering his hand to help Katniss up the crate because they are a team (and he’s a gentleman)! It’s only when he recognizes who is receiving those lashes and realizes that Katniss will lose her shit once she knows, which could make the current situation even worse, that he urges her to leave, and he is not the only one to think that: - Voices hiss. “Get out of here, girl.” “Only make it worse.” What do you want to do? Get him killed?”

Chapter 8

It’s too late to stop the arm from descending, and I instinctively know I won’t have the power to block it. Instead I throw myself directly between the whip and Gale. I’ve flung out my arms to protext as much of his broken body as possible, so there’s nothing to deflect the lash. I take the full force of it across the left side of my face. - Katniss is so selfless; she knows that it’s either Gale getting hit again or a lash to her own face and she chooses the latter

“Hold it!” a voice barks. Haymitch appears and trips over a Peacekeeper lying on the ground. It’s Darius. [...] He’s knocked out but still breathing. What happened? Did he try to come to Gale’s aid before I got here? - Haymitch sure appeared quickly - I can easily imagine Peeta taking off immediately to get him (or send someone to bring him to the square) once he knew Katniss couldn’t be stopped; but if Haymitch had been at his house in Victor’s Village, there is no way he’d have made that quickly to the square... maybe he was already at the Hob and had gotten wind of the whole situation? Also, poor Darius! Wearing a uniform/being in some sort of position of power is no guarantee you won’t get punished as soon as you show the tiniest glimpse of compassion - in a place like Panem, nobody is safe from the caprice of the people in charge

I see a flicker of recognition in the eyes of the man with the whip. [...] it wouldn’t be easy to identify me as the victor of the last Hunger Games. Especially with half my face swelling up. But Haymitch has been showing up on television for years, and he’d be difficult to forget. - Getting Haymitch truly was the smartest move to make (which is why I’m pretty sure it was a move on Peeta’s part - he’d know how to use reminders of ‘appearances’ to ensure a punishment wouldn’t go ‘too far’, y’know 😢). But also - Thread must have lived under a flipping rock, to not being able to recognizes Katniss (her face must have been plastered all over the place during the Victory Tour, which just had concluded recently) - or he was just too in the heat of the moment, with someone opposing him, bleugh 😒

“He [Gale] was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?” says the man. “He’s her cousin.” Peeta’s got my other arm now, but gently. “And she’s my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us.” - I love how Peeta’s just laying it down as it is; his phrasing just sounds so factual, rather than provocative (although it is, of course); he really has a way with words - Maybe we’re it. The only three people in the district who could make a stand like this. Although it’s sure to be temporary. There will be repercussions. - Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss working together as a team again! Also, a good example of the effect people with public influence can have

One [Peacekeeper], a woman named Purnia who eats regularly at Greasy Sae’s, steps forward stiffly. “I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad.” “Is that the standard protocol here?” asks the Head Peacekeeper. “Yes, sir,” Purnia says, and several others nod in agreement. I’m sure none of them actually know because, in the Hob, the standard protocol for someone showing up with a wild turkey is for everybody to bid on the drumsticks. - It’s kinda nice to see the local Peacekeepers supporting Purnia’s claim to get this display to stop - this is the only way out of this situation where Thread’s authority is not openly challenged (and we know Thread doesn’t take well to having his authority challenged - see Darius)

There’s no stretcher, but the old woman at the clothing stall sells us the board that serves as her countertop. “Just don’t tell where you got it,” she says, packing up the rest of her goods quickly. Most of the square has emptied, fear getting the better of compassion. But after what happened, I can’t blame anyone. - It’s sad how that air of intimidation makes people want to mask their acts of compassion (and also says a lot about the precariousness of the existing living situations if that old lady is still selling that board - I’d never even consider exchanging money for that, but that’s probably my privileged situation showing here; Katniss brings up the theme of fear vs compassion - very fitting, since it seems to be her driving force (although, generally, her compassion wins out over her fear) and despite her assertion that fear appears to be getting the better of compassion we see a good amount of people reaching out to help, such as the following example:

Leevy, a girl who lives a few houses down from mine in the Seam, takes my arm. My mother kept her little brother alive last year when he caught the measles. “Need help getting back?” Her gray eyes are scared but determined. - The subtle suggestion here that Leevy might be further motivated to help out because Katniss’s mom helped her little brother is also an excellent example of how kindness breeds kindness

“Get some snow on that,” Haymitch orders over his shoulder. I scoop up a handful of snow and press it against my cheek, numbing a bit of the pain. - This moment reminded me of Peeta immediately reaching for some ice from that fruit tureen after Haymitch hit him on their way to the Games in THG (Ch. 4) - their different immediate reactions to getting hit in the face could simply be due to the fact that Katniss is a little too preoccupied worrying about Gale to think about her injury, of course, but I feel like you could also interpret them as examples for how much experience Katniss and Peeta have with being hit in the face, respectively...

Gale must have gone to Cray’s house, as he’s done a hundred times, knowing Cray pays well for a wild turkey. Instead he found the new Head Peacekeeper, a man they heard someone call Romulus Thread. No one knows what happened to Cray. He was buying white liquor in the Hob just this morning [...] but now he’s nowhere to be found. - As I’ve already mentioned regarding Darius, inhabiting some position of power does not guarantee you any safety in Panem (there is always someone more powerful who will treat their inferiors like garbage, if they feel like it)

By the time I showed up, he [Gale]’d been lashed at least forty times. He passed out around thirty. - Jesus 😨 poor Gale!

“What about Darius?” Peeta asks.“ After about twenty lashes, he stepped in, saying that was enough. Only he didn’t do it smart and official, like Purnia did. He grabbed Thread’s arm and Thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip. Nothing good waiting for him,” says Bristel. - It’s so messed up how it is not enough to have someone who’d stand up and do something about a horrible situation - they have to do it the right way, or else they’re toast; there really shouldn’t have to be a smart way of doing the right thing

Snow begins, thick and wet, making visibility even more difficult. - (President) Snow is coming down hard on them, making it hard to see what’s up ahead

Ever so gently, she [Mrs. Everdeen] begins to clean the mutilated flesh on Gale’s back. I feel sick to the stomach, useless, the remaining snow dripping from my glove into a puddle on the floor. Peeta puts me in a chair and holds a cloth filled with fresh snow to my cheek. - Although she’s quite squeamish, Katniss stays as Gale gets treated (the force that holds the loved ones of the hurt/dying, just like when Peeta was being treated after their Games); meanwhile, Peeta is taking care of Katniss - there is so much care + love to be found in this moment

My mother has to save the strongest [painkillers] for the worst pain, but what is the worst pain? To me, it’s always the pain that is present. If I were in charge, those painkillers would be gone in a day because I have so little ability to watch suffering. - Honestly, same; I can’t stomach seeing other people suffer without feeling overwhelmed and feeling like crying... I don’t know how professionals do it

“Just give him the medicine!” I scream at her. [...] “Take her out,” says my mother. Haymitch and Peeta literally carry me from the room while I shout obscenities at her. They pin me down on a bed in one of the extra bedrooms until I stop fighting. - Oof. Poor Katniss! But yeah, it was the best call to remove her from the situation, Mrs. E. had to focus on what she was doing... Also, Haymitch and Peeta are the ones to get Katniss out of there and stay with her - these three take care of each other!

After a while, my mother comes in and treats my face. Then she holds my hand, stroking my arm, while Haymitch fills her in on what happened with Gale. “So it’s starting again?” she says. “Like before?” - Katniss’s mom has become a much more active and soothing presence in this book, I like it... Also, what does “again” mean? Does this imply there has been an attempted uprising in D12 that needed to be squashed before?

Cray would have been disliked, anyway, because of the uniform he wore, but it was his habit of luring starving young women into his bed for money that made him an object of loathing in the district. In really bad times, the hungriest would gather at his door at nightfall, vying for the chance to earn a few coins to feed their families by selling their bodies. Had I been older when my father died, I might have been among them. - Horrifying and absolutely disgusting 🤢 Those poor women! How desperate they must have been!

... when the doorbell rings, I shoot straight out of bed. [...] “They [the peacekeepers] can’t have him,” I say. “Might be you they’re after,” Haymitch reminds me. “Or you,” I say. “Not my house,” Haymitch points out. “But I’ll get the door.” “No, I’ll get it,” says my mother quietly. - Again, Mrs. Everdeen is taking the initiative! She was so watered down in the movies

[Madge] holds out a small, damp cardboard box to me. “Use these for your friend,” she says. I take off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. [...] “What is that stuff?” asks Peeta. “It’s from the Capitol. It’s called morphling,” my mother answers. “I didn’t even know Madge knew Gale,” says Peeta. “We used to sell her strawberries,” I say almost angrily. What am I angry about, though? Not that she has brought the medicine, surely. “She must have quite a taste for them,” says Haymitch. That’s what nettles me. It’s the implication that there’s something going on between Gale and Madge. And I don’t like it. “She’s my friend” is all I say. - I mean, Katniss could be mad because A) Gale had literally just told her he loved her a few hours ago and if there was something (reciprocated) going on between Gale and Madge, that would have been pretty shitty for both girls involved and also B) she is friends with both of them and it would be hurtful to learn that two of your closest friends had been seeing each other without telling you anything about it... also, she’s super upset over Gale getting so seriously hurt just after they’d had an argument, her feelings are all over the place

... I’m selfish. I’m a coward. I’m the kind of girl, who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn’t follow to suffer and die. This is the girl Gale met in the woods today. No wonder I won the Games. No decent person ever does. You saved Peeta, I think weakly. But now I question even that. I knew good and well that my life back in District 12 would be unlivable if I let that boy die. - Yes, Katniss, you knew that your life back in D12 would have been unlivable if he died - but not because you feared that people would shun you; it was because you “couldn’t lose the boy with the bread” and because “if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really”... This is an excellent example of how distorted your memories can get when you are in a bad headspace at present

The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him, then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him, I am still self-centered, although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the Capitol, I am someone of worth. - Katniss, you don’t have to be planning to overthrow a corrupt and cruel government to be someone of worth! You’re someone of worth just by being yourself! - The trouble is, I don’t know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment. - Frankly, very rarely are our motivations clearly defined by a single factor - or my professor would not have been able to teach an entire semester-long course on motivation psychology😉)

Chapter 9

Gale’s dead to the world, but his fingers are locked around mine. I smell fresh bread and turn my stiff neck to find Peeta looking down at me with such a sad expression. I get the sense that he’s been watching us awhile. “Go on up to bed, Katniss. I’ll look after him now,” he says. - Peeta! Must have been hard for him to see Katniss like this (and the underlying strength of Katniss and Gale’s relationship, when his relationship with Katniss is still not all that solidified), and yet he’s being such a good bean about it 😭

I give a strangled cry and wake with a start, sweating and shivering at once. Cradling my damaged cheek in my hand, I remind myself that it was not Clove but Thread who gave me this wound. I wish that Peeta were here to hold me, until I remember I’m not supposed to wish that anymore. I have chosen Gale and the rebellion, and a future with Peeta is the Capitol’s design, not mine. - Katniss, gurl... Maybe your instinctive desire to receive comfort from Peeta is trying to tell you something??!? Also, Katniss is forcing this strange dichotomous association of Gale = rebellion and Peeta = Capitol, when in just a bit, she’s clearly connecting Peeta to the rebellion as well (aside from the fact that Peeta was basically the first person to suggest to her that maybe a rebellion was necessary... just saying)

Fighting the Capitol assures their swift retaliation. I must accept that at any moment I can be arrested. [...] There might be torture. Mutliation. A bullet through the skull in the town square [...] I imagine these things and I’m terrified, but let’s face it: They’ve been lurking in the back of my brain, anyway. [...] I’m already a target. - Oh geez! Despite admitting that she’s terrified of what the Capitol is capable fo doing to her, Katniss is still pretty composed naming the possible horrors in store for her, which is just a heartbreaking reminder of how many terrible things she has already had to endure.🙁

Now comes the harder part. I have to face the fact that my family and friends might share this fate. Prim. I need only to think of Prim and all my resolve disintegrates. It’s my job to protect her. [...] I can’t let the Capitol hurt Prim. - 😭😭😭 Katniss has reached a point where she can put her own need for survival/physical intactness aside, but the thought of something awful happening to Prim stops her short (it’s so strange to think that, in a twisted way, it wasn’t the Capitol who’d ended up inflicting the final harm upon Prim...)

And then it hit’s me. They already have. They have killed her father in those wretched mines. They have sat by as she almost starved to death. [...] She has been hurt far worse than I had at the age of twelve. And even that pales in comparison with Rue’s life. [...] Prim... Rue... aren’t they the very reason I have to try to fight? Because what has been done to them is so wrong, so beyond justification, so evil that there is no choice? Because no one has the right to treat them as they have been treated? Yes. This is the thing to remember when fear threatens to swallow me up. What I am about to do, whatever any of us are forced to endure, it is for them. - All these things are very true and it’s also very fitting that the main motivation for Katniss would be to ensure a better future for the children of Panem (and to avenge the evils done to the people close to her heart... while Katniss of course can see the abstract bigger picture/reason for the rebellion, she always operates best when it comes to specific people/circumstances she has a deep, personal connection with)... But also: all these things apply to you, too, Katniss! Despite your tendency to feel responsible for everything and everyone, you’re still a child that had to grow up way too fast and had to endure way too much!

We need someone to direct us and reassure us this is possible. And I don’t think I’m that person. I may have been a catalyst for rebellion, but a leader should be someone with conviction, and I’m barely a convert myself. Someone with unflinching courage, and I’m still working hard at finding mine. Someone with clear and persuasive words, and I’m so easily tongue-tied. Words. I think of words and I think of Peeta. - Katniss’s idea of a great leader for the rebellion is Peeta - interesting, isn’t it (she could have considered Gale, but no)? She makes a good point, though: it helps when a leader has plenty of charisma, and our boy has that in spades; he’s got a good set of morals, is not above joining in on the action/risking his own neck when the need arises and is very genuine and purposeful with his words and actions, which is inspiring... I think Katniss is severely underselling how courageous she is, though

He could move a crowd to action, I bet, if he chose to. Would find the things to say. But I’m sure the idea has never crossed his mind. - Why would you assume that, Katniss? Peeta’s literally the one to suggest to you that trying to placate the district might not be the right thing to do... Peeta’s not someone who’d stir up trouble just for the sake of stirring up trouble, sure; he’s much more deliberate about doing things the ‘right’ way, but he’s not generally opposed to challenging authorities (he’s literally the one to openly gift some of your winnings to another district!)

She knows what she’s doing, my mother. I feel a pang of remorse about yesterday, the awful things I yelled at her as Peeta and Haymitch dragged me from the kitchen. “I’m sorry. About screaming at you yesterday.” - It’s so sweet how Katniss feels sorry for yelling at her mom and apologizes to her; their relationship really has improved so much in this book - “I’ve heard worse,” she says. “You’ve seen how people are, when someone they love is in pain.” Someone they love. [...] Of course, I love Gale. But what kind of love does she mean? What do I mean when I say I love Gale? I don’t know. I did kiss him last night, in a moment when my emotions were running so high. But i’m sure he doesn’t remember it. Does he? I hope not. - Katniss is struggling to figure out in what way she loves Gale... She definitely doesn’t want him to remember their kiss because she knows it wouldn’t be fair to give him the hope that she might be able to return his romantic feelings when she is still in the dark about her own

... and I can’t really think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite. I give my head a little shake to clear it. “Where’s Peeta?” I say. - Lol, goes on to immediately mention the guy she’s been kissing these past few weeks (see, with Peeta you could actually have both: kissing and rebellion, Katniss - he’s the perfect man, isn’t he? 😉😋)

“He went home when he heard you stirring. Didn’t want to leave his house unattended during the storm,” says my mother. - Yeah, I don’t think Peeta left because of his house; I’m pretty sure he needed some time to himself after seeing Katniss and Gale this morning - he is the type of person who needs to be alone to work through his feelings when he’s feeling upset - “Did he get back all right?” [...] “Why don’t you give him a call and check?” she says. I go into the study, a room I’ve pretty much avoided since my meeting with President Snow, and dial Peeta’s number. After a few rings he answers. “Hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home,” I say. “Katniss. I live three houses away from you,” he says. “I know, but with the weather and all,” I say. “Well, I’m fine. Thank you for checking.” There’s a long pause. “How’s Gale?” - Aww, Katniss is worried about Peeta and gives him a call, although she hates being in the study 😊 Also, her calling him must have been at least of some reassurance to Peeta that she genuinely cares about him, in some way (though, he’s still clearly busy processing her relationship with Gale, since he’s asking about him as if he hadn’t seen that dude just a couple of minutes prior)

“Have you seen Haymitch today?” “I checked in on him. Dead drunk. But I built up his fire and left him some bread,” he says. “I wanted to talk to - to both of you.” I don’t dare add more, here on my phone, which is surely tapped. - Despite everything, Peeta still made sure to look after Haymitch! And I know, there is also the issue of their houses themselves potentially being bugged, but I couldn’t help imagining how they could easily avoid the whole phone-tapping thing simply by using a tin can telephone (they do live pretty close to each other, after all) 😂

“You don’t even have a phone,” I say. “Effie had that fixed,” he [Haymitch] says. “Do you know she asked me if I’d like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better.” “Haymitch.” I can hear the pleading creeping into my voice. “Katniss.” He mimics my tone. “It won’t work.” - Okay, but Haymitch mimicking Katniss’s tone reminds me so much of when Peeta mimicked her tone towards the end of their Games, when she was trying to persuade him to climb into a tree as a lookout while he was insistent she’d show him some plants to gather; these three, I swear! 😂 On a sad note, Haymitch is talking from experience here when he’s advising Katniss not to challenge the Capitol 🥺😢

Some streets away from the square, I see a blaze flare up. None of us has to say it. That can only be the Hob going up in smoke. I think of Greasy Sae, Ripper, all my friends who make their livings there. - Katniss considers the people from the Hob her friends - honestly, even if the Hawthornes, Everdeens, Peeta and Haymitch all had agreed to leave D12, I don’t think Katniss would have been able to go through with it - she cares too much about the people in D12 to have been able to leave them to their fate

“Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothecary can spare.” He [Haymitch] trudges off across the square and I look at Peeta. “What’s he want that for?” Then I realize the answer. “We can’t let him drink it. He’ll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I’ve got some white liquor put away at home.” “Me, too. Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business,” says Peeta. - Another instance of Katniss and Peeta being on the same wavelength, having taken precautions to help out Haymitch so he doesn’t have to go cold turkey again

We find Hazelle in her house, nursing a very sick Posy. I recognize the measles spots. “I couldn’t leave her,” she says. “I knew Gale’d be in the best possible hands.” - The second mention of someone having contracted the measles in D12 - Why the heck does the Capitol withhold measles vaccination from the people in the districts?! They’re inflicting unnecessary damage onto the very people they want to exploit... But I guess cruelty isn’t always about playing it smart and logical...

When we’re outside, I turn to Peeta. “You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob.” “I’ll go with you,” he says. “No. I’ve dragged you into enough trouble,” I tell him. “And avoiding a stroll by the Hob... that’s going to fix things for me?” He smiles and takes my hand. - They are a team, they stick together (and they are constantly holding hands, always physically linked to each other)😩💕 Also, Peeta pointing out the irrationality of Katniss’s train of thought to calm her down and stay with her reminds me of how he’s going to use logical reasoning to calm her down after the jabberjays in the Quarter Quell arena

We go back to the square. I buy some cakes from Peeta’s father while they exchange small talk about the weather. No one mentions the ugly tools of torture just yards from the front door. The last thing I notice as we leave the square is that I do not recognize even one of the Peacekeepers’ faces. - How weird is it that Peeta and his dad just talk about the weather?! Is this supposed to illustrate how in the Mellark family they just ignored the ugliness going on in their lives *cough cough* the abuse *cough cough* and just pretended that everything was fine, on a very superficial level? Also, it makes perfect sense that the Peacekeepers have been exchanged; the more time we spend with people, the more likely we are to like them - that won’t do if you want to have a ruthless authoritarian police force in the districts

As the days pass, things go from bad to worse. The mines stay shut for two weeks, and by that time half of District 12 is starving. The number of kids signing up for tesserae soars, but they often don’t receive their grain. Food shortages begin, and even those with money come away from stores empty-handed. [...] The eagerly awaited food promised for Parcel Day arrives spoiled and defiled by rodents. - This is just so awful and despicable 😞 Life in the districts was already horrible but now the government does not even honor the extortionary rules they themselves have set up! I can’t help but wonder if the lack of food could be traced back to rebellions in the food supplying districts and, to keep this from the inhabitants of the Capitol, the reduced amount of good food was (obviously) kept for the Capitolites, so that the bad food had to be sent to the districts, anyway... It just seems like such a breach of ‘honor’/etiquette on the Capitol’s part, I dunno... Or maybe Snow was just desperate to use any means necessary to stamp out any potential rebellions in the districts that he still had some control over...

Gale goes home with no more talk of rebellion between us. But I can’t help thinking that everything he sees will only strengthen his resolve to fight back. [...] Rory has signed up for tesserae, something Gale can’t even speak about - Poor, Gale! Poor Hawthornes :(

My fingers have all but decided to release the arrow when I see the object in the glove. It’s a small white circle of flat bread. More of a cracker, really. Gray and soggy around the edges. But an image is clearly stamped in the center of it. It’s my mockingjay. - It is so very telling that the true symbol of the rebellion combines something symbolic of Katniss (which also contains a nod to Rue) and something symbolic of Peeta (the bread/cracker!) The people in the districts have rightfully recognized the both of them as symbol of the rebellion; they have a truer vision of the matter than the more artifically/forcefully constructed symbol of rebellion that D13 /Coin will push - we will also see that when the people in D13 will view Peeta as a traitor, while the rebels Katniss will visit in D8 instead ask her about Peeta and assure her that they know he was speaking under duress

#thgagain #thg #katniss everdeen #hunger games #thg meta #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #gale hawthorne #my sketches and drawings #thg fanart #catching fire

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fanfoolishness · 2 years

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under a new morning sun (3/?)

Turns out, being trapped in the Fade isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Rogue Min Hawke learned this at Adamant. Luckily for her, her lover Varric Tethras refused to believe that she was really gone.

Varric rescued Hawke from the Fade with the help of the Inquisition, but there were consequences. Spending time in the physical Fade has left them Fade-touched: Varric is now a dwarf who can dream, and Hawke has developed mage abilities. Together, they’ve returned to Kirkwall for a well-deserved rest.

Old estrangements, new powers, and ghosts from the past make for a homecoming that doesn’t exactly go as planned, even as the Inquisition’s mission marches on and Kirkwall struggles to rebuild. Hawke must find a way to master her newfound magic and strike a path forward with family, friends and Varric at her side.

Chapter 1: Rearranged | Chapter 2: Making the Rounds

Chapter 3: in the evening hour

“I’ve gotten better at cooking, you know,” said Hawke, peering at the market stalls in Hightown, searching for something for dinner. She paused over a tray of Orlesian cheeses, breathing deeply in the cool fall air. “Though sometimes, it’s the simple things in life that are best. Bread and cheese for a first course tonight?”

“I’m happy for anything that isn’t hardtack,” said Varric. “The last few days of the journey here were getting pretty grim. You know it’s bad when an eel pie at the Hanged Man feels like a decadent treat.”

“Well, once I get settled, I’ve got some ideas. Ooh, that looks lovely.” She peered at a display of goat cheeses and fresh butter. “There’s an Antivan recipe I want to try for a second course. Needs loads of spices but it’s absurdly good. We’ll see if they’ve got anything close here.”

“What’s this? A Fereldan, talking about spices? I’ve never heard the like,” said Varric.

“Come off it, you,” Hawke laughed. “I know I might have been a rubbish cook before -- I mean, I’d never really learned how -- but I’ve gotten more adventurous. You know the first thing I learned to make on my own?”

“Besides Kirkwall Surprise?” asked Varric. He made a face.

She chuckled. “I’ve come a long way since those Sundermount trips, Varric. No, the first thing was roasted rabbit, with herbed new potatoes.”

He considered. “Sounds fancy.”

“Anders and I were desperate,” she said, shrugging. “We hadn’t seen any game for ages, and were down to one last packet of hardtack with two days to the next town. Molossus saved the day, brought us a brace of rabbits. Anders wasn’t… well, you know how he was, leading up to what happened, and it was worse, after.” She sighed, handing over a beautiful little goat cheese adorned with chestnut leaves for the cheesemonger to wrap up. “So I tried to do something to cheer us up. I thought, really thought, of how my dad and Carver used to do roast rabbit and chicken back in Lothering. I cleaned them myself. Sniffed every plant around camp until I came up with rosemary and elfroot and thyme.”

She handed the cheesemonger a silver and slipped the wrapped cheese into her bag, heading to the next market stall where Seheron peppers, Rivaini maize and Fereldan potatoes spilled forth in huge tubs. She bundled together a few of the huge Fereldan potatoes, giving the stallkeeper a handful of coppers, but also picked up a few of the sharp, spicy peppers.

“Anders saw that I was really trying, so he started looking around, too. I thought he was crazy to pull up a bunch of green stems, but when I realized they were potatoes I was so excited. He got the fire properly hot enough with a bit of magic, and I was just guessing on the cooking times, really, but do you know, it’s one of the best meals I’ve ever had in my life.”

Varric glanced up at her. “You miss him, being back here.” There was no hint of jealousy on his broad, open face: just a quiet understanding, something that made her love him even more.

Hawke smiled fondly. “I miss everyone. I know Fenris has to do what he’s got to do in Tevinter, and Isabela is glad to be free with her ship. And I’ll always care for Anders, even if it’s all very complicated.” She let out a long sigh. “There were good times, despite everything, with all of them.”

“That’s Kirkwall in general.” He reached out, brushing his gloved hand against her arm, and she leaned into his touch.

Yes. Good times despite everything. That was Kirkwall all over.

***

Varric turned the key in the lock, opening up the front door to the Hawke estate. Hawke had made some noise about needing to carry the foodstuffs and being unable to get to her key, but Varric wondered if she’d remembered to bring it with them this morning at all. He couldn’t blame her. It was bound to take some getting used to, being back.

They were greeted by the scent of a fire in the hearth. Hawke stiffened, then set the sack of food down on the hallway bench. “Bethany?” she called. “Is that you?” She kept onward to the sitting room, and was abruptly bowled over by a big brown blur that brought her to her knees. “Molossus!” She wrapped her arms around the vast Mabari, weeping gratefully into his fur.

Varric followed, crouching down beside them and patting the old dog on the head. Molossus’ muzzle, once coal-black, was now snowy white, and his eyes were rheumy and gray. The bulk of him had shrunk some with the years, and Varric could now pick out the shadow of his spine beneath the glossy fur, but the nub of his tail wagged as furiously as ever as he slobbered all over Min’s face.

“Good to see the old boy,” said Varric. “I wonder if he’s still any good at Diamondback?”

“Was that you who taught him that?” asked Bethany, coming in from the drawing room. “You know, he’s getting better about his tells in his old age. I’ve been very impressed with him.”

“Bethany!” Hawke crowed, extricating herself from the floor and the still-wagging Mabari. She grinned at her sister and hugged her, closing her eyes and resting her head on Bethany’s shoulder.

Bethany returned the hug until the elder Hawke laughed in protest. “You’ll squish me to death!” The two sisters embraced for a moment before Hawke pulled back, wiping her eyes. “It’s been too long,” she said fiercely.

“Too long by far,” said Bethany. She let out a long sigh. “Did you two get in all right?”

“Yes, yes. We only ran into a few nests of bandits on the way, and we were more than enough for them. But what about you? You went after those darkspawn alone?”

“Not completely alone. Molossus was with me,” said Bethany. “I know he’s getting on in years, but he’s still quite the keen watchdog. There weren’t many. Just enough to be a problem for the colony on the Wounded Coast.”

“Colony?” Varric asked, raising his brows. “What are we talking? More Tal-Vashoth?”

Bethany shook her head. “There’s a small group of mages that escaped from the Circle living out there. They’ve built a small village in some of the more secluded areas, and without the templars to harass them, they seem to be doing quite well for themselves. But they’re mostly healers. Darkspawn were new to them, and I wanted to teach them how to handle themselves, should the beasts make another excursion here.”

“You’re all right, then?” asked Hawke, a tinge of anxiety sneaking into her voice. Varric sidled up beside her, brushing his arm against hers.

“Min, I’m a Warden,” said Bethany, her eyes tightening. “I know what I’m about.” The tension in her expression faded, and she turned to Varric, fixing him with a piercing gaze. “Anyway, we’ve got more exciting things to talk about than blasted Darkspawn. Varric Tethras. Seducing my sister. So you finally told her how you felt, is that it?”

Varric groaned, clapping a hand over his face, feeling his ears blaze red. “Are you kidding me, Sunshine? Everyone knew? This is some kind of nightmare.”

“That embarrassed about being smitten with me, are you?” Hawke asked, laying a long arm across his shoulders and bending down to kiss the top of his head. “Why, a woman might feel slighted by that sort of admission.”

“Yes,” said Bethany, winking, “a real man would never hide his feelings for the love of his life. Perhaps his devotion isn’t quite what he makes it out to be --”

“Of course I’ve loved Hawke for years!” Varric burst out, holding up his hands. “I just didn’t want to overstep my bounds. If you might recall, she had eyes for someone else at the time, and I didn’t want to be that ‘friend’ trying to get in the way --”

Bethany giggled. “I’m only teasing, Varric. I couldn’t be happier for the both of you.” She hugged him. “But I seem to recall the way you’d gaze at her even before we left on the expedition, and as far as I’ve been told, it wasn’t until after that Min set her eye on Anders --”

“Quite right you are, sister,” said Hawke in one of the most serious tones he’d ever heard from her. “Quite right you are.”

“Oh sure,” said Varric. “Everyone pile on the dwarf.”

“No, I think if anyone’s going to be on you, that’s all Min,” said Bethany, deadpan.

Hawke laughed so hard she nearly cried, and Varric couldn’t help but laugh, too.

***

Hawke pushed her plate aside and rested her elbows on the dinner table, leaning forward. “Well, that was a meal and a half,” she said. Quite literally, as Bethany had also brought home some things for dinner, and they’d wound up cooking enough food for a small army. For a moment she thought of taking the leftovers over to the Chantry for food donation; there’d always been a few sisters that hung around in the evenings to receive meals to distribute in Lowtown.

Then she remembered all over again, and a frisson went through her. She swallowed.

“This’ll keep ‘til tomorrow, don’t you think?” she asked, staring down at the cookpot at the end of the table, still full of vast quantities of a beef ragout with tomatoes and prickleweed. It wasn’t the meal she’d picked out at the market. She’d carefully bundled the food she’d gotten and set it aside for later, not wanting to step on Bethany’s toes or dinner plans.

“It ought to. I make it a lot,” said Bethany. “At least now that autumn’s coming in and it’s not so hot anymore. I made the mistake of making it once in the heat of summer and it spoiled dreadfully. Eight Wardens were puking their guts out before we realized they’d gotten into it when we’d meant to throw it out….”

“I thought Wardens had iron constitutions,” cracked Varric.

“That’s what they say, isn’t it?” Bethany asked. Her smile quirked to one side, fading, and Hawke felt a sudden frantic urge to steer the conversation elsewhere.

“So Bethany. I was wondering… have you got any advice on dreams?” she asked hastily.

“It rather depends on what you’re looking for.”

“Well, I can’t say as I know,” said Hawke. “It usually seems as if the dream’s taken me by the arm and is insisting upon marching me ‘round the Fade. It’s… I don’t care for it, sister. How do you manage?”

Varric raised a gloved hand. “Fade-touched dwarf with human-like dreams over here. I might be interested in a little friendly advice myself.”

Bethany looked from one to the other of them. “You don’t recall what Dad used to say? ‘It’s about will.’”

Hawke shivered. They were the words Bethany had shouted to her within the Fade, the words she had used to guide her home to the point that Varric and the others could pull her free. Yet she had never remembered her father speaking them. They must have been words for Bethany alone.

“I don’t think he said it to Carver and me,” she said slowly. “You had your special lessons with him, and Carver and I would go off and do chores. I don’t recall him saying much at all about dreams, really.”

“Special. Right,” said Bethany, the words stretching, quivering in the tense air.

“I only meant --” Hawke let out a long huff of air. “You know what I mean. Carver and I used to get jealous of your time with Dad. Kid stuff. That’s all.”

Bethany chuckled, and the tension deflated. “Oh, Carver. I miss talking about him. It’s been lonely, you know. Only being around people who never knew him.” She closed her eyes, still wearing a faint, wistful smile. “There were so many times I could scarce believe we were related at all, let alone twins.”

“He was born contrary, truly,” said Hawke. With a start she remembered Varric sitting patiently at the end of the table, waiting for them to catch up on their Hawke-only conversation. “Perhaps all brothers are that way.”

“A verifiable fact, I’d say, as the born-contrary younger brother,” said Varric solemnly.

“Oh Varric, I'm sorry. Of course I wasn’t being terribly helpful to you.” Bethany pursed her lips. “Well, think of the Fade as a place where want, and need, and desire, are all very, very real. Your wants, and the wants of those spirits or demons that are trapped there. If you’re not a mage, the demons pick up on all those wants, and try to make a reflection of what’s in your mind. It’s garbled and mixed up and strange, but it’s all you, in the end, with a twist. It can’t hurt you, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

Varric took a drink of his wine, looking troubled.

“As for mages, like me…” Bethany took a deep breath. “-- and you, Min… Well, the wants -- the will -- you start to realize where you cast it. Where it takes you. You’re awake in a way that you aren’t, without magic. And that always stays on, sister. You can’t unring a bell like this, not once it’s been rung.” She reached out, gripping Hawke’s hand, and her grasp was far tougher than Hawke would have dreamed. “I’m sorry.”

Hawke curled her hand around her sister’s, trying not to tremble. “Nothing to be sorry about,” she said lightly. “I can use this. I can learn.” But she held Bethany’s hand tight, gripping it until her knuckles went pale.

***

Things felt awkward in Hawke’s bed that night. Somehow she was all elbows or knees or ankles, tossing and turning, unable to figure out a way to settle down. Varric lay there patiently, waiting for her to find a comfortable spot, not minding when she couldn’t seem to figure one out. At last she rolled onto her back and tilted her head to stare at him in the dark.

“Don’t you dare leave me, Varric Tethras.”

He reached up, tracing his fingers along her jawline. “So that came out of nowhere.”

She spluttered, rolling away from him. “Ugh. I know. I’m aware.” She hiked some of the covers over her head, then pulled them down again. “No, I know you’ve got to go back to the Inquisition at some point. You’ve given your word, after all, and words are your thing, and it’s the noble thing to do. It’s just… how am I to do this, Varric? Bethany hates me.”

Varric blinked. “Maybe it’s because I never had a sister, but I thought there was a distinct lack of death threats tonight… unless human sisters show hatred differently than dwarven siblings do.”

“You can’t just let me exaggerate in peace, can you? All right, fine, Bethany doesn’t hate me. But things are different between us, Varric. Ever since the thaig, and the Wardens. I don’t know that she’ll ever forgive me for it. I think she’s tried. I’m not sure it’s enough.” She flung her arm up over her face, taking deep breaths.

“Maybe she will, maybe she won’t,” said Varric. “But she’s here with you now, right?”

“Right…”

“So there’s a chance,” he said. “There’s time. If things are messed up, you still might be able to fix them. Why not give it a shot and see where it goes?”

I’m sorry, brother. The thought came unbidden, a knife in the dark. He closed his eyes.

“You’re right, of course,” she said quietly. She curled up against him, resting one hand over his heart, her fingers idly playing with the hair on his chest. “Do you ever wonder about Bartrand? If things might have been different?”

He held her close in the soft dark, brushed her hair with one slow hand. “You could tell I was thinking about him, huh?”

“You’re more of an open book that you know, storyteller,” she murmured.

He swallowed. “Sure I wonder. There’s a lot of regret to go around, about that thaig. Sunshine and Bartrand both paid prices. I still don’t know if --”

If I murdered my brother. Or if I saved him.

But that was a chapter he didn’t want to revisit, a tale he’d hoped he’d wrapped up years ago. He stroked her hair, trying to focus on its softness, the warmth of her against him in the covers. This was better. This was the chapter he wanted to linger in.

“It’s all right, Varric.” She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being you. It helps. More than you know.”

“Huh. Imagine that.”

Chapter 4: The Message

#dragon age #hawke x varric #varric x hawke #varric tethras #dragon age: inquisition #under a new morning sun #min hawke #bethany hawke

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pufferfishdude · 3 years

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Red Dwarf: Season 3 Episode 3

Another venture into live-action and a TV show! This one’s a favourite series of mine, the British cult sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf. Dave Lister, a lazy, curry-addicted slob, works on the space mining ship Red Dwarf in the future, and is sent into suspended animation for smuggling a pregnant cat onboard. A radiation leak wipes out the rest of the crew, leaving Lister in stasis for 3 million years until the radiation dies down. Thankfully, he’s not alone: there’s Rimmer, a hologram of his cowardly and anal-retentive dead bunkmate; Cat, the vain and stylish humanoid descendant of Lister’s cat; Kryten a nice cleaning-obsessed mechanoid who learns what it means to be human, and Holly the ship’s good-natured but senile computer.

In Season 3′s episode ‘Bodyswap’, there’s a procedure by which a person’s mind can be stored on a chip and allow for a holographic mind to be swapped in. Lister’s body is briefly used when the holographic copy of a dead Red Dwarf crew member’s mind is required. Rimmer, who’s now spent two years as a soft-light hologram and thus can’t touch anything (outside of the bunk), manipulates Lister. He points out how Lister’s diet of curries, beer and smoking combined with no exercise is starting to show, that he’s getting “porky” and has “more gut than a Turkish shop window”. It’s just down to his eating habits, but also his metabolism and age. As Rimmer explains:

“You’ve reached that age, Listy. When you’re younger, you can eat what you like, drink what you like, and still climb into your 28 inch trousers and zip them closed. Then you reach that age, 24, 25, your muscles give up, then wave a little white flag and suddenly without warning, you’re a fat bastard.”

Despite Lister’s defense that he’s not fat, just “hunky”, he realises Rimmer’s point and thoughtfully strokes his noticeable stomach. He’s persuades with the promise of a swap - Rimmer gets Lister’s body into shape for a couple of weeks while Lister himself is in Rimmer’s hologram body. And so they trade places.

Unfortunately, Rimmer becomes overwhelmed with being able to touch, smell and taste now that he has a physical body again, and proceeds to indulge himself with a vast quantity of food, drink and cigars. He has ordered a huge meal consisting of a lightly-poached Mimian bladder fish, four dozen oysters, duck’s feet in abalone sauce, a roast suckling pig stuffed with chestnuts and truffles and a mountain of mashed potato with a pint of cream and a full pound of butter, with gravy and wine on the side. In no time at all, he messily dives into it, giving into long-sought gluttony as he grunts, guzzles and gobbles up, sending his face into the mashed potato and pouring gravy over himself.

Obviously, Lister’s not happy about any this, and worse so when during a weigh-in shows that his body’s put on two stone (28 pounds). When they swap back, Lister feels the effects of Rimmer’s hedonism, saying “You’ve given me breasts. There is a distinct cleavage there!”. He weighs himself and can’t believe the results. Rimmer tries to say his weight’s average for his height, only for Lister to say, “it would be average for my height if I happened to be a pregnant hippo”. And finally he’s shocked by the state of his stomach, looking considerably fuller and rounder as he sits down and lays it bare, his hands feeling its newly stretched out girth, disgracefully comparing himself to a Superbowl blimp.

This is the best we see of how much his body’s put on in over a week. His actor Craig Charles at this point was actually quite slim, so what were looking at here is pushing his gut out big time to show off the drastic results.

Rimmer hijacks Lister’s body and flees, intending to stuff himself and do whatever he likes, but soon Lister and the rest of the gang catch up with him and they’re back in their right bodies. Due to all the extra weight put on, Lister’s forced at the end to have a very slim meal for the next six months - a lettuce leaf and grated carrot.

As a final gag, turns out Rimmer’s bodyswapped with the Cat while he was asleep, much to Cat’s hate. Rimmer-as-Cat walks in with a plate full of Yorkshire puddings, mashed potatoes, sausages and sauce, and immediately eats it ravenously, promising it’s just for one day...maybe a bit longer.

Considering what my next Red Dwarf post while cover, this ending gag surprisingly feels like foreshadowing. ;)

#red dwarf #live action #television show #male expansion #weight gain #fat #eating #round belly #gluttony

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lionsongfr · 4 years

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Riot of Rot Cuisine

One day FR will give a us a proper Plague Coliseum venue and I will write up foods more specific to Plague. >:C Till then I shall cobble together bits of pieces of other venues to make a menu that would make Plaguebringer proud!

Scavenger’s Stew- Picked Over Bones, Dried Jerky, dried Diseased Fungus, and Spicy Meat Sheep with Cinnamon, cloves, cumin, Blacktongue pepper, and coriander, a spicy stew to cover the taste of spoiled meats. Often served with an unleavened flat bread or couscous (made from Imperial Tails or Pampas Grass grain).

Butcher Bars- a fruit leather made of Butcher’s figs and roasted Mire Chestnuts, perfect for that extra boost of protein and energy before hunts.

King Salad- a Rat Tangle roasted whole on a bed of Cindershroom and Luminous Leaf Sheep with a spiced Mushroom Oil sauce and Bell Goat feta, a glistening golden salad that is a rare treat.

Pickled Eye Wrap- pickled Field Watcher eyes with a Bell Goat yogurt sauce and fried ground balls made of Bell Fungus, Moss Eater Moth, and leftover meat scraps, all served on a flat bread.

Giant Millipede Rolls- while most insects are quick roasted and devoured, Giant Millipedes are wrapped in Rotala and slow cooked over the coals. In the morning they are removed from their shells and served with the charred Rotala and fried Dwarf Shelf Fungus on flatbread.

Leech Rings- Wetland leeches are tough skinned creatures; thus, they are often cut up into rings and soaked in a Golden Pepper and Bell Goat milk over the day and then fried in Mushroom Oil. Typically served with a spicy Ashfall Prickler sauce and pickled and sliced Wasteland Pear and Field Watcher salad.

Plaguebringer's Delight- a dish named after the disease-bearing crustacean, it requires the lobster to be boiled, removed from the shell, and then fermented with Leechroot Mushroom and Golden Pepper for a month. The earthy and salty result is eaten as a relish, often with smoked Croaker Leg sausages and onions upon flatbread.

Bloodfly Cakes- swarms of Blood Flies are not uncommon in the Scarred Wasteland, and they are considered a large source of provisions for insect eating dragons. They are caught in large nets, dried, and then packed into cake forms along with Redblood Sapper syrup. Can be eaten as a cake, added to couscous, or made into a simple soup.

Pustulant Pudding- a Bell Goat milk pudding seasoned with a variety of toppings like Wasteland Pear syrup, Sewer Sludge caramel, and candied Wasteland Pauper.

Bone Tea- a drink and a meal, this hearty bone broth made from Picked Over Bones and Boneback Mold is often served with a fermented milk from Bell Goats or noodles made from Black Sea Nettle tentacles.

Mushroom Coffee- coffee is a rare import from The Viridian Labyrinth (though the import has ended after the recent Seed and Sickness disaster) and to extend the coffee supply dried medicinal Ancient Mushrooms are added. The coffee is brewed in a small cup over a pan of hot sand to make a thick and strong drink.

Hemolymph Liquor- while the Wyrmwound is not exactly drinkable, the blood of beasts who can drink the waters provide a potent liquor. Hemolymph from colonies of Crowned Bonepriests and Corpse Cleaners is carefully harvested and fermented for a year. Sharp and sour, it is used to celebrate the first successful hunt of a Plague dragon.

#Flight rising #Plague Flight #fr headcanon #lore #food #my headcanon #long post

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phoenix-downer · 3 years

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Autumn Mending Chapter 2: Festivities and Memories

~4050 words. Romance, Angst, Pining, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Comfort, Healing, Making Up. For SoKai Day 2021.

Sequel to Kisses and Lies because I couldn’t just leave Sora and Kairi hanging, now could I?

Will have three chapters because the story took on a life of its own, and the actual final chapter will be the one posted on SoKai Day.

Summary: Sora and Kairi are still broken up, but with the help of old friends and Twilight Town’s autumn festival, the spark between them just might be rekindled.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

After her mission with Sora, Kairi had been left so confused. She’d thought, after that kiss, after that conversation, after the way Sora had looked at her, that he’d make a move. Ask to talk. Try to work things out.

But he didn’t. He was nice. He was cordial. But there was a giant wall around his heart, and no matter what she did, she couldn’t get past it.

Breaking up with him was the worst mistake of her life. She could see that now, and how she regretted it more than anything. Because it was done out of fear. She’d been scared of the future. Scared he’d leave her alone again and never come home. Not like he’d done it on purpose before, but when he told her he was planning on continuing to fight instead of going to college or settling down, a deep, awful feeling of dread had settled in her stomach.

Instead of discussing things with him, she’d talked at him and told him a bunch of things. Told him she was scared he was addicted to fighting and hopping from one world to the next. Told him she was afraid he wouldn’t ever want to settle down and start a family like she wanted to. Told him she feared he’d leave again on yet another dangerous journey and never come back this time. Told him she couldn’t live a life like that, couldn’t live a life where she never knew when her husband would be home, a life where her kids might be abandoned without any clue as to what happened to their dad and she’d be left to raise them alone.

She’d never forget the look in his eyes that night on the beach. The hurt, the pain, the agony. The begging and pleading and promising to be everything she wanted and needed, then the tears and anguish when she told him it was over. They’d both cried their hearts out, and she assumed he would never forgive her after hurting him so deeply. Especially when he ran off the next day and avoided her for months afterwards. It wasn’t until Master Yen Sid had assigned them to go on that mission together that she got to talk to him again.

How wonderful it was just to spend time with him once more. When she’d kissed him to fake out their enemies, it hadn’t been fake for her. She’d missed him so badly. Missed his smiles, his laughter, his heart. His hugs, his warmth, his kisses. His sass, his humor, his love. She wanted to talk to him about what had happened. Apologize for breaking his heart and beg for forgiveness and explain that the problem wasn’t him, no, it was her, it was always her, she was always the one making things difficult for them both—

But he’d been standoffish. He’d cut off her attempts to talk to him. Only near the end of the meal they’d shared in that food court was she able to confirm he still had feelings for her. It was his eyes that had given him away. It was always his eyes. They really were like the window to his soul, or more accurately, his heart.

So then why did he act so awkward around her afterwards? Why did he avoid her? She despaired and figured she’d blown her final chance with him. So when the cute guy who worked at the souvenir shop asked her on a date, she thought heck, why not. Why not give another guy a chance. He was nice and the date was nice, but the moment he tried to kiss her at the end of the night, she knew this was wrong. It was all so wrong.

Here she was, at the door to her parents’ house, the moon and stars shining down on her and this perfectly nice guy trying to kiss her, and all she could think about was Sora. She couldn’t get his face out of her mind, couldn’t help but wonder how he would feel if he knew this guy had almost kissed her. Couldn’t help but remember all the times he had kissed her.

Sora. It was always Sora. He would always have her heart. No matter what happened, that would never change.

“You okay?” her date asked with a frown. “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first—”

“No, it’s not you, it’s me,” she told him. “You’ve been wonderful and tonight was wonderful, but I… I can’t go out with you again. I’m sorry.”

She’d retreated inside the house and threw herself on her bed and cried. Sora was the only one she ever wanted to kiss for the rest of her life. Wiping her eyes, she dialed his number. It just rang and rang and rang. She tried texting him. Nothing. So she called his mother.

“I’m sorry, Kairi, but you just missed him. He said he’d be leaving and wasn’t sure when he’d be back.”

Her heart sank as she thanked his mom and hung up the phone. Her timing really was awful. And if he wasn’t picking up her calls, she only had so many ways to reach him.

He avoided her attempts to contact him for the next few months until finally, finally, she got a lead. She was chatting on the phone with Olette when Olette casually mentioned that Sora would be visiting Twilight Town for the fall festival.

“Oh really?”

“Yep! Are you gonna come too? I thought you two were still broken up.”

“We are, but I think he might still have feelings for me. And, to be honest, I still have feelings for him too.”

Olette squealed. “Then you have to come!”

“Really?” Kairi asked, then chewed her lip. “You don’t think he’d be upset?” She hadn’t gone chasing after him because she wanted to give him his space. He hadn’t blocked her number, but he hadn’t responded to any of her attempts to contact him either. The message he was sending her was loud and clear: I don’t want anything to do with you right now.

“Maybe he will be,” Olette said, “but if he is, you can just apologize and leave.”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to ruin his visit,” Kairi said as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger.

“You won’t, trust me. If things get awkward, we can go do something else. I really do want to see you and hang out, you know.”

So that was how Kairi had ended up here in Twilight Town, cautiously following Olette into the gang’s old hideout. Several different emotions warred on Sora’s face as he registered her presence. Shock. Frustration. Anger. Pain. But then, when their eyes met… the hurt and anger melted into something soft and vulnerable as he stared back at her.

“Kairi?” he said, his voice far more tender than she deserved.

“Um, hey,” she said back. “Listen, I know this is really last minute and unexpected, so Olette and I can go somewhere else if this is too awkward—”

“No, it’s okay. It’s… good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too,” she said, her voice breaking a little. They just stared at each other for a few moments until Pence cleared his throat.

“So, um, shall we?” he asked, gesturing towards the makeshift curtain.

“Let’s go,” Hayner agreed, and Sora stood. Kairi wasn’t sure what to do. Should she walk beside him? Give him his space?

But their friends made that decision for them, because soon they were walking side by side through the back streets while Hayner, Pence, and Olette continued up ahead of them. Kairi loved seeing the little lanterns strung up between buildings and the fall leaves hanging on garlands, taking in all the delicious scents lingering in the air, and feeling the magical autumn atmosphere of the town. But no amount of good vibes could bridge the gap between her and Sora.

“How have you been?” she finally asked because the awkward silence was unbearable.

“Not too bad,” he replied, and his voice was surprisingly chipper, all things considered. “I’ve been saving munny, talking to Hiro about going to San Fransokyo Institute of Technology, that kind of a thing.”

She stole a glance at him. Saving munny? Going to a university? This was a far cry from the Sora who wanted to hop from world to world with no plan for the future.

“What about you?” he asked. She couldn’t help but think he looked especially handsome today. Relaxed and casual and ready for the fall festival, and yet still put together. He always made everything look so effortless, even looking good.

“I’m still working at the crafts shop on Main Street,” she said, avoiding thoughts of how nice a hug from him would be right now. “Except for missions of course. And I’ve been thinking about going to a university too. Not sure which one though.”

He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m sure you’ll do great wherever you decide to go.”

She smiled sadly at him. That was Sora, always cheering her up and cheering her on even when he was upset. She wanted to say more, but they were at the festival now, and it was getting too loud to comfortably talk. Booth after booth lined the streets of Twilight Town, the trolley was decked out in fall leaves and decorations, and a few stages had been erected throughout the area for performances.

First up for their little group were all the food booths, which was good because Kairi’s stomach was growling and she was craving delicious festival food. Pumpkin soup with piping hot bread, warm apple pie with cold ice cream, roasted chestnuts and salty pretzels, and her favorite, apple cider to wash it all down. The non-alcoholic kind because she wanted to be fully aware of whatever happened the next several hours.

Sora got non-alcoholic apple cider too, as did Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and the five of them toasted each other. Sora’s hand shook a little when he accidentally brushed up against her hand, and their eyes met as they took their first sips of the cider. But instead of immediately looking away, his gaze lingered on her for a few more seconds.

Those few seconds made her want to hold his hand, to hug him, to apologize and explain everything that had happened—

But then the moment was over and he looked away. She ducked her head and tried not to let it get to her. Of course he was still guarded around her. Anyone would be.

The five of them enjoyed the festivities in town for a while (Hayner, Pence, and Olette even gave a rousing karaoke performance of an old classic on Twilight Town), then hopped the train to go out to one of the farms in the surrounding area. Here was where the fun would really begin: a pumpkin patch, hayrides, an apple orchard, a corn maze, cozy campfires, falling leaves…

As they walked the short distance from the station to the farm, Kairi took in the scenery around them. The pathway was lined with trees shedding their brilliant red, yellow, gold, and orange leaves, and the temperature was perfect. If she and Sora were still dating, this was the moment she would’ve grabbed his hand and leaned against his shoulder and sighed happily.

But they weren’t, so she kept her hands to herself and tried not to stare at his hands. They were so big and strong, so gentle yet firm. She always felt safe in his arms and melted at his touch.

“Alright, first up is pumpkin carving!” Pence said once they’d arrived at the farm. “So, we gotta grab our pumpkins from that patch over there, then once we’ve paid for them, the three of us always compete with each other to carve the best pumpkin, and you know what that means?”

“What?” Sora asked.

“You and Kairi are joining the competition too,” Hayner said with a grin. “No backing out!”

“You’re on,” Kairi said. She grabbed Olette’s hand, and they giggled and took off towards the pumpkin patch.

“We’ve gotta get the best ones before the boys take them,” Kairi said.

“Absolutely,” Olette replied. As they carefully scoured the pumpkins for the best-looking ones, Olette scooted closer and lowered her voice. Even though the boys were a little ways away, better safe than sorry.

“He seems happy to see you,” she said.

Kairi stole a glance at Sora. He was currently fighting Hayner and Pence off of his choice pumpkin, laughing as he swatted their hands away, and when their eyes met, she couldn’t help but smile.

“And you seem happy to see him too,” Olette added.

“It’s just nice to see his smile,” Kairi said as she examined a big orange pumpkin. Yes, this one should do nicely.

“Kairi, it’s totally obvious you’re still in love with him and he’s still in love with you! Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Kairi sighed and hoisted the pumpkin onto her hip. “It’s my fault we broke up. I’m the one who broke his heart, and he’s been avoiding me for months on end. There’s no way he still feels the same way he used to about me.”

Olette sighed as she selected a white pumpkin and stood. “Maybe not, but it’s clear he still feels something for you. Why are you denying it?”

“Because if he still loved me, he wouldn’t be pushing me away,” Kairi said, staring intently at her pumpkin like it held the answers to all her problems.

“Maybe he’s pushing you away because he does still love you. Maybe being around you just hurts too much.”

Kairi stole another glance at him. Was it possible? Was it possible he’d fled, not because he hated her, but because he still loved her? Was it possible they could fix what went wrong and make things better than ever? If only she could apologize. That was all she wanted, to apologize and ask his forgiveness. Then maybe at least they’d find peace.

Their eyes met again, and he smiled. A soft, gentle smile that reached his eyes this time, and she blushed and smiled back. Then Hayner grabbed his arm and Pence snatched his pumpkin away, and he let out a shout and chased after them, leaving her and Olette in stitches, they were laughing so hard.

When at last the pumpkin situation had been sorted, the five of them carried their pumpkins to the carving tables and got to work. Gutting the pumpkins was always messy, but the pumpkin seeds were well worth the effort. She would take those home and roast them later with oil and sea salt for a delicious snack. That taken care of, she stared at her pumpkin. What to carve? A typical Halloween creature, like a wolf or witch or bat? No, that didn’t feel right. Wait, she had the perfect idea. She grinned and began, and before long, she was etching the same drawing she’d sketched on the cave walls of the Secret Place all those years ago. On a whim she included the paopu part too because why not.

When it was time for everyone to reveal their pumpkins to each other, Pence had made a very impressive ghost, Hayner had carved a vampire, and Olette had made an adorable cat. Kairi’s nerves got the better of her when it was time to reveal her pumpkin, however, and she clammed up and said, “I’ll reveal it later, when it’s dark and everyone’s lighting their pumpkins!”

That way she’d have time to get rid of this one and do another one that wouldn’t pressure Sora or put him on the spot.

“Sora?” Hayner asked.

“Oh, um, I’ll do the same,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Alright, next on the agenda isssssss… apple picking!” Pence called out like he was announcing the Struggle Tournament. They went to the entrance of the apple orchard, where a nice old woman handed each of them a bag and a pair of scissors and told them they could keep whatever they could carry.

The best part about apple picking on Twilight Town was the experience. While Kairi did intend on filling her bag to the brim with juicy ripe apples, a big part of apple picking was eating a couple of apples first before picking more to take home. There were so many different kinds to choose from, soft plump red ones, tart crunchy green ones, golden ones with a rich flavor, sweet multicolored ones with her favorite taste… a veritable feast of delicious fruit.

When they’d gathered the first round of their bounty, the apples they would eat right then and there, they sprawled out on a picnic blanket on the grass and munched away. Kairi’s eyes traveled to Sora as they so often had today because she loved the perfect look of contentment he always got on his face when he was eating something especially delicious.

And these apples were delicious. Kairi had only plucked three so far because that was all she knew she could safely eat, but she wished her stomach were as big as her eyes. The apples were juicy and delicious and perfectly ripe, and she kept having to dab at her mouth and chin because the apples were just that good.

Once they’d had their fill and had filled their bags, they went to a special tent that would keep their goodies for them until it was time to go home. Their arms free once more, it was time for the corn maze.

“Hayner and I have already tried the one this year,” Pence said, “and let me tell you, it’s so convoluted it’s easy to get lost. Some people call it the Eighth Wonder of Twilight Town.”

“We’ll see about that,” Olette said with a smirk. “Bet I can beat your record.”

“Oh, you’re on,” Hayner said, a glint in his eye. The moment the group entered the corn maze and were surrounded by stalks, Hayner, Pence, and Olette took off, leaving Sora and Kairi behind.

“So, that’s a thing,” Sora said with a chuckle. Kairi giggled awkwardly and glanced at the sky. They probably only had about another hour of daylight left, going by the sun’s position.

“I hope we can finish this thing before dark.”

“If we work together I bet we could.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

They walked largely in silence as they tried different routes. Some were dead ends, but little by little they were making progress. And it was nice to just… be with him again. Working together on something. The silence between them wasn’t awkward the way it had been earlier today, either. It just felt safe. Comfortable. The crunch of crushed corn stalks beneath their feet was soothing, too.

Kairi wondered if now would be a good time to say something or apologize.

“Sora?” she said as they rounded a corner. One of the corn stalks brushed against his arm, and it rustled when it moved back into position.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Thank you, for letting me join you guys today. I know you didn’t really want to see me, but I’m glad you let me stay.”

He was silent for a few moments as they continued, an unreadable expression on his face. “Who says I didn’t want to see you?” he said at last. “I have to admit, it took me by surprise, but I’m glad you came.”

She fiddled with her sleeves. “I am too.”

He looked at her, the sun setting behind him, and she thought he seemed more radiant than ever. How could she have agreed to be away from him for so long? She should’ve run after him the moment he ran away from her. The first time and the second time. She’d gone after him before, why had she let her fear and shame stop her this time?

She reached for his hand. “Sora, I—”

“There you guys are!” Pence called as he burst around the corner. “Buncha slowpokes.”

Aaaaand the moment was gone. Sora ribbed on Pence for calling him a slowpoke, and soon Hayner and Olette joined them too, and together the five of them finished (or, in Hayner, Pence, and Olette’s cases, re-finished) the maze.

But as she got a little badge from the booth at the end of the maze that congratulated her on finishing, she noticed Sora was waiting for her. He must already have his badge, so maybe he wanted to talk more. The other three had gone on ahead to get them tickets for the hayride, as it was quickly getting dark.

“You should put your badge on,” she said as she joined him and they started walking towards where the hayride would start.

“Already have,” he replied, pulling back his hoodie and pointing to the badge. Twilight Town Fall Festival Corn Maze Completionist! was written on it in tiny letters, along with a photo of this year’s maze. “But you haven’t put yours on yet. Here, let me do it.”

As he gingerly lifted her shirt enough to stick the sharp part of the badge through, she wondered if he was as affected by their closeness as she was. He was focusing carefully on the badge so as not to accidentally poke her, and that meant she could take everything in. His scent, his warmth, his eyes. How she’d missed seeing him, talking to him, being with him.

“Thank you, for doing the maze with me,” she said. “It was a lot of fun.”

He smiled and met her gaze. “Yeah, it was, wasn’t it? I missed doing this kind of thing with you.”

“I did too.”

A few moments of silence lingered between them. But then he took a deep breath and said, “Kairi, what were you gonna tell me earlier? Before Pence interrupted us, I mean.”

Her mouth went dry and her palms got all sweaty. “Oh, um, I wanted to… I wanted to…”

He patiently waited, and she knew she had to do this, she had to get it all out.

“I wanted to apologize,” she finally said. “For hurting you. For breaking up with you. I never should’ve done that.”

He stared at her, his eyes wide and his mouth open. Something very vulnerable was in his expression too, and that vulnerability gave her the courage to continue.

“The way I handled it was awful too, just talking at you instead of discussing things with you. Maybe if I had, we wouldn’t have—”

“Hey, lovebirds, the hayride is about to start!” Hayner called, and her chance was gone. Or so she thought.

“We’ll be there in a sec!” Sora shouted back. “If you need to go, go on without us!” He turned his attention back to her. “This is more important.”

She nodded and fiddled with her sleeves again.

“You aren’t the only one to blame for this whole mess,” he said sadly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I ran away like a coward instead of talking things through with you. I was so hurt that I—”

“Last call!” Hayner yelled, and Sora sighed, irritation flashing through his eyes.

“This hayride had better be the best hayride in all the worlds,” he grumbled.

“It’s okay,” she said, “we can talk more about this later.”

He nodded. “We will. I won’t run or hide this time, I promise.”

She dared to offer her hand. “I know you won’t.”

He smiled sadly and took her hand, and as they hurried to scramble onboard the hayride together, she couldn’t help but hope that maybe, just maybe, things would be okay between the two of them. Sora didn’t let go of her hand as they settled in on one of the bales next to Hayner, Pence, and Olette, so that was a good sign. And as their guide began telling ghost stories as the tractor and wagon rattled along, she rested her head on Sora’s shoulder. He didn’t push her away, just leaned his head against hers, and his closeness made her feel so warm inside despite the chilly night air.

She hoped and wished and prayed with all her heart that after this was over, they could mend the hurt between them for good.

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holeyweasel · 3 years

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༄ daniel padilla, cismale, he/him + the color orange, impressive explosions, fireworks in the night sky, trolley carts ignited into flames, graffiti on stop signs, and quivering palms concealed by a nifty hand-buzzer. – is that george weasley ? their ministry records say that they are twenty-five , a pureblood , and went to hogwarts . currently they are the owner of weasley’s wizard wheezes . whenever i see them saintlike by jakey starts playing in my head. i think this may be because they’re astute & whimsical , but they also happen to be deviant & reticent . ( BIOGRAPHY. | PINTEREST. | PLAYLIST. )

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL & SUBSTANCE ABUSE / ALLUSIONS TO ALCOHOLISM.

basics .

name & origin : george felix weasley ; based on the Greek word georgos; meaning farmer. the word georgos is a combo of two Greek words, ge (γῆ), meaning earth, soil, and ergon (ἔργον), meaning work. && george doesn't apply much of a personal meaning to his name; perhaps molly was following the trend of her late, twin brothers, gideon & fabian, or maybe it'd just been a coincidence. george doesn't know; it's possible he never will, since molly doesn't talk about her brothers that have passed too often. nicknames : forge, fred, georgie, gred, twin #2, & weasel. preferred name : george is fine. age & birthdate : twenty-five ; april first. gender & pronouns : cis male ; he/him. orientation : straight ; heteroflexible ; questioning. ethnicity & nationality : filipino ; english. hometown : ottery st. catchpole, devon, england. current residence : the loft above number ninty-three diagon alley. occupation : owner & operator of weasley’s wizard wheezes. hogwarts house / school graduated from : gryffindor.

miscellaneous .

phobias : he can’t be alone, because when he is, that’s when he gets into more compromising situations. he excessively relies on others to fulfill his own emotional needs (eg. fred, specifically) his codependency to fred ran, and continues to run, so deep that even his level of confidence changes without his brother around. he needs fred around to feel okay with himself. he fears being rejected and abandoned as lone unit; rather than the one collective unit he was with fred. quirks : when disinterested in something, doesn’t put the effort in; rarely expresses his true emotions unless it’s through anger; jokes so much it’s hard to tell when he’s being serious; sometimes doesn’t realize when a joke has gone too far & unintentionally hurts people’s feelings. when his emotions are too much to handle, can act rashly, and do something stupid; he often winds up in trouble since he couldn’t careless what others think. also he’s not great at overly complicated math. fred was better at math, while george is better at reading/writing/words in general. basic addition and subtraction is fine, but once you get to double digits? oof. he uses his fingers to count. hobbies : comforting others & giving advice anonymously, creating his own spells & potion recipes, dueling, inventing things, quidditch beating, quick-wit, speed reading, stand-up comedy; there’s never a dull moment with him; he’s always able to entertain an audience and make people laugh. likes : adventures, biscuits, breaking things, causing chaos & confusion, conjuring up ideas & schemes, creating inventions, discovering new things, explosions, fireworks, flashing lights, freedom, friendly debates, hippos, irony, jokes, laughter, memes, mum’s home-cooked meals, parkour, philosophy, petty arson, punching things, puns, quidditch, quotes, rebellion, rioting, sweaters, & unlimited knowledge. dislikes : being alone, being controlled, boredom, commitment, conformists, copycats, cucumbers, disloyalty, early mornings, feelings that aren’t joy, grapefruits, hypocrites (ironically), instant tea, judgmental people, ordinary living, pocket watches, purists, restrictions, school, sellouts, silence, sitting still, spinach, the government, the rich, the status quo, & unnecessary rules. wand : 10 ¾ inches ; dogwood ; dragon heartstring core. patronus : previously, his was a magpie; along with fred’s. since fred’s death, he struggled to conjure one for many years, but eventually was able to - and it’s now a peacock. boggart : him, completely and utterly alone. without fred or just without anyone in general? the world may never know. reverse amortentia : burning cedar, broom polish, firewhiskey, freshly baked biscuits, & roasted chestnuts.

history .

➵ the fifth son born to arthur & molly weasley right after his twin brother, fred, george was practically born a prankster & inventor. after graduation, he planned to become a successful entrepreneur. from birth, both him & fred were attached at the hip; getting into all sorts of shenanigans together. not much has really changed regarding that. growing up, they successfully set off a dungbomb during christmas dinner, turned ron’s teddy bear into a spider after he broke fred’s toy broomstick, gave ron an acid pop that burnt a hole in his tongue, and nearly tricked ron into taking an unbreakable vow. ➵ during his first year, him and fred swiped the marauder’s map from filch’s desk; this aided more in their mischief. ➵ george, while not being a hat stall, could definitely have been a fair candidate for slytherin with his ambitious & cunning nature — if only he wasn’t a red-headed, reckless weasley. ➵ this curious boi might have a teeny, tiny case of undiagnosed ADHD. he definitely exhibits all of the symptoms; he’s never gotten officially checked out, though. ➵ second year, he joined the quidditch team as beater. at one point, ron informed harry that george received ”really good marks” for his first few years. ➵ the summer before his fourth year, he stole arthur’s ford anglia with fred and ron. this was in order to rescue harry from the dursley’s and bring him to the burrow. ➵ the summer after fourth year, george went on a trip with his family to visit bill in egypt. with fred, of course, he tried to push percy into a pyramid. ➵ fifth year, he & fred graciously gifted harry the marauder’s map since they’d already memorized it. ➵ sixth year, he attended the quidditch world cup with his family, harry, & hermione. he and fred gambled on the outcome & won a great deal of money from ludo bagman. however, they were never paid, and harassed bagman all year. fred wanted to inform the ministry; george was against it since that’s considered blackmail. after harry won the triwizard tournament, he gifted fred & george his winnings to make up for their lost bet. they put this money away with the intention to invest it into their future joke shop. this is also the year they began selling their inventions and he took his ordinary wizarding level exams; received 3 OWLs in, what’s assumed, charms, defense against the dark arts, & transfiguration. ➵ seventh year, he spent the summer before school at 12 grimmauld place. after being given harry’s winnings, george had no interest in returning to school, but did anyway. he spent most of the year selling his and fred’s products. he also joined dumbledore’s army; not being a huge fan of umbridge. ➵ later that year, umbridge kicked him, harry, and fred off the quidditch team after george & harry got into a fight with draco malfoy. once the DA was discovered, george decided with fred, that he didn’t care about getting in trouble, and they began an all-out rebellion. they shoved an inquisitorial squad member into a vanishing cabinet, set off an array of fireworks that they made themselves, & created a portable swamp in the corridor. after the vandalism & chaos, george flew away from hogwarts with his brother; encouraging others, and peeves, to follow their example. ➵ after fleeing the castle, george worked with fred to establish a weasley’s wizard wheezes storefront. the summer before the golden trio set off for their sixth year, they had their grand opening. they remained open in diagon alley even while growing tensions of the war ensued. draco malfoy even purchased peruvian instant darkness powder from their shop, which assisted him during the battle of the astronomy tower. in theory, the twins unknowingly helped the death eaters twice, but we don’t have to unpack all that right now. ➵ him & fred lived in a loft above their shop. ➵ sometime after turning of age, george joined the order and assisted them during the battle of the seven potters. he was paired with remus lupin, and sometime during this mission, snape hit him with sectumsepra. he lost his ear and it was unable to be healed due to being cut off with dark magic. ➵ the burrow operated as a new headquarters for the order until they were ambushed by death eaters and they had to flee. ➵ george & fred were frequent guests on lee jordan’s radio show: potterwatch. ➵ george was hit with snape’s sectumsepmra curse and ended up losing his left ear. since it was dark magic, his injury wasn’t able to be repaired. he has permanent hearing loss and a scar where his ear used to be. he’s picked up BSL (british sign language) since the incident. ➵ he split up from the rest of his family after the death eater ambush, but remained with fred. him & fred were apart of lee jordan’s radio broadcast, potterwatch, so it’s assumed they were with lee in some way. ➵ there was an incident where george, alone, was taken in front of the wizengamot while fred had stepped out for the afternoon. he was brought on charges of aiding and abetting the mass breakout of muggleborn criminals. supposedly, they had items sold at weasley’s wizard wheezes that’d aided in their ultimate escape. ➵ questioned & tortured at the hand of umbridge, they almost sent him off to azkaban… but the department of magical law enforcement requested time to gather more evidence to build a stronger case of george’s involvement. his blood status wasn’t in question, and therefore, he was free to go. ➵ during the battle of hogwarts, george lost his twin brother, fred, in an explosion orchestrated by augustus rookwood. the years that followed were absolutely the hardest thing he’d ever gone through. ➵ upon fred’s demise, george might have taken up a biiit of a drinking problem. while it hasn’t entirely taken over his life, some would definitely consider him a “functioning alcoholic.” ➵ depending on a potential charlie mun, after fred’s funeral, george followed charlie to romania in order to “travel” and “find himself” without fred able to stand by his side anymore. he eventually stole a dragon from charlie and took it across the world. goooo georgie! he returned about a year after fred’s funeral initially took place. ➵ for quite some time, george struggled to conjure a patronus. with all of his “happy memories” linked to fred, the charm became quite difficult for him to perform. of course, george is a determined individual; he continued to try anyways. ➵ eventually, two years after fred’s passing, george was able to cast a patronus. although, instead of a cheery magpie revealing itself, a peacock took its place. this was significant because, slowly but surely, george was beginning to detach his identity from fred. ➵ george continued to build the business he’d started with his late brother. these days, he fills his time with work; occupying his mind with weasley’s wizard wheezes instead of the void fred’s passing left within him.

#abduco : intro #abduco : task 001 #( ✺*. intro .*✺ )#( ✺*. headcanons .*✺ )

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rabbitcruiser · 2 years

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National Grab Some Nuts Day

National Grab Some Nuts Day on August 3 is the ultimate nutty day. Nuts, legumes, seeds drupes, either way – they’re all considered nuts and are all in some way a part of our daily diet. Nuts are rich in nutrients and minerals, and if eaten in the correct quantities, are great for improving our health. This day promotes the consumption of all nuts, the health benefits, and their tastiness. You won’t be surprised to hear that it’s a very nutty occasion.

History of National Grab Some Nuts Day

Although the origin of National Grab Some Nuts Day is unknown, we do know that when this day first started being observed there was some confusion to its purpose. Some were celebrating the nuts we eat, whereas others thought it was all about the metal nuts that go with bolts. Whilst these metal nuts obviously serve their purpose, we’d rather be celebrating food, which is pretty much our stance on most matters.

There is also ample discussion on what is defined as a nut and what is a legume. A legume is generally recognized as a pod containing multiple seeds that begins to open on its own when the season for harvesting approaches. For the purposes of National Grab Some Nuts Day, we suggest celebrating the day by grabbing a handful and savoring the taste!

Whatever it may be, either botanical or non botanical nuts, nuts have an impressive amount of protein, vitamins,minerals, potassium, iron and so on. They say “an apple a day keeps the doctor away,” but even nuts are also capable of this! Consider consuming nuts on a daily basis for snacking to absorb those important nutrients.

Other nutty days do occur throughout the year. These include National Almond Day and National Pecan Day. There’s also a day for cashews, walnuts, peanuts, macadamia nuts, pistachios, and chestnuts. This day is a day for celebrating all these days bundled up in one and grabbing handfuls of as many different kinds as you like. Raw or roasted. Salted, seasoned or plain.

National Grab Some Nuts Day timeline

10,0000 BC Tree Food

Walnuts are the first nuts to be consumed.

1890 Pea-not brushing

Peanut butter is developed by a doctor in St Louis who prescribed it to patients with bad teeth.

1919 Nut Rep

Texas adopts the pecan tree as its state tree.

April 2019 Original Health

“Nuts: A Global History,” is released on Amazon.

How To Celebrate National Grab Some Nuts Day

Grab some nuts

Add nuts to your food

Share on social media

Make sure to grab a handful of your favorite nuts to snack on. If done sensibly, this is a great way to stay healthy. It’s worth reading up on the health benefits of including nuts in your daily diet.

Try adding some nuts to a meal. Nuts add texture to baked goods and savory dishes. Options include adding nuts to your salads, stir fry, or the crust of a pie. Check out some nutty recipes on YouTube.

Post about it online and share a photo or two of eating a handful of nuts. Use the hashtag #NationalGrabSomeNutsDay on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

5 Amazing Facts About Nuts

Nut Shell

You’re not nuts!

Nut- Roast

Lotta snackin’

Almondey

A nut is a fruit composed of an inedible shell and an edible seed.

Walnuts, cashew nuts, almonds, and pecans are technically not nuts, they’re seeds.

Roasting nuts can strip significant fat, so it’s better to eat nuts raw.

Nuts have been eaten for 1000 years in the US.

Almonds are enriched with antioxidants and vitamin E.

Why We Love National Grab Some Nuts Day

They’re good for you

They help us

They taste fab!

Nuts are a great way to stay healthy and fit and are healthiest when eaten raw. People who eat nuts regularly generally have lower levels of heart attacks, coronary heart disease, strokes and cancer.

Nuts are high in calories but they are a great way to lose weight. They contain fibre which helps to improve gut health and decrease calorie absorption, thus making you feel full. They also have anti-inflammatory properties which can help with ageing.

Nuts have a unique taste – they’re nutty! From almonds, pistachios, cashews, peanuts, walnuts, pecans, brazil nuts and more, we love their unique flavour and crunch when added to meals that we just die for.

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wowcool808 · 3 years

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Aren’t You Cheerful?-YTTD head cannon

This is a headcanon in an alternate universe where Sara never had a stalker and Joe and Sara were never in the killing game. Also, I took the title name from the song “Aren't You Cheerful?” in the Your Turn To Die soundtrack.

“Do you...know what a majority vote is..?”

“Aw...She died…”

“....My opinion...versus yours…”

Various, disembodied voices passed through Sara’s brain without paying any mind to her consciousness. Floating in and out before fading out of existence. It was an odd phenomenon, as Sara didn’t even have the time to grasp onto the words as they left her. And then, she woke. She had fallen asleep on her school desk, presumably drifting off as she was studying for her upcoming test. Slowly, Sara lifted her head, her brain swimming lightly from the abrupt awakening. She rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes and massaged her sore jaw she had fallen asleep on. She sat up and, as her eyes adjusted to what little light streamed in the room, she realized it was already past 6:30 p.m.

“Ugh, seriously? How long did I even study for..?” she asked herself as she glanced down at the study guide in front of her. She had barely gotten to the second page when she fell asleep, deeming the hours she spent after school virtually useless. Sara begrudgingly got up and slung her backpack on her shoulders. She sent a text to her parents letting them know she was on her way home as she walked out of the front entrance.

As she walked towards the gates, she took in her surroundings. They were the same things she saw everyday; the pond, the trees, and the large building that loomed above it all. Surprisingly enough, one of the lights in the school was turned on. “Huh, even janitors work this late. Thank you for your tireless service.” She said with a small smile as she continued on her way to the front gates. When she reached the gate, she took a look at her phone, reading a text from her friend, Ryoko. “Heyya, I just got homee, wanna sleep over? I’m tired as hell, but I kinda feel like talking about today.” Sara smiled a bit and typed a response. “Hi, and yeah, sure. I’m just getting home too. I spent the last few hours sleeping at my desk, but I’ll see if I can come over later.” Naturally, she would spend the time in between then to study since she wasted so much time doing nothing. Ryoko, however, spent the last few hours going on a date with one of her classmates, Jou Tazuna, or just Joe. Joe had bugged Sara about setting him up with Ryoko ever since he found out how close she and Ryoko were. Sara had finally given in and got the two of them to go on a date together.

As Sara put her phone away, she heard someone call her name from the other side of the fence. “Heyyy, Sara! Why're you still here?” The voice made Sara jump, forcing herself to get into fight-or-flight mode. Once she recognized the owner of the voice, however, she dropped her stance and stared straight at the person with a hot face. “Joe, seriously?” she said, annoyed. Joe, a tall, gaudy-looking guy with various hair pins stood in front of her with a cheery smile on his face. “Whattt, did I scare you? Sorry ‘bout that.” he said with an unapologetic expression.

“Oh shut up, you did that on purpose, huh?” Sara said, quickly regaining her cool.

“Jeeze, always so cold, huh? Well, whatever, I knew you would be here. You said you were studying, right?” He said, annoyingly changing the subject.

“Well, yeah, that was the plan. I fell asleep, though. Why did you come here?” She asked, sighing.

“I came to brag about my date, what else?!” He said with a cheeky smile as he put his hands on his hips.

“Right...well, I appreciate the thought, but I already talked with Ryoko about it.” She said with a sarcastic smile. It was a lie but Sara figured it was only fair since Joe had scared her.

“Whattt? I came all the way here though!” Joe said with a fake pout.

Sara rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Well, you were too late, then. Too bad.”

Joe winced and hung his head, moping. “Aww man.”

Sara smiled a bit and held back a pity laugh. “Fine, you can tell me as I walk home. I can’t guarantee I’ll pay attention though.”

Joe lifted his head and smiled again, making it blatantly obvious he was faking most of his reaction. “Good enough for me!”

Sara shook her head and stepped through the gate as Joe waited for her. “So, first we walked to the kabob place that we were talking about earlier. I ate so much that Ryoko had to help me get up!” he said, his head in the clouds as always. He brushed his hair out of his face and continued talking with his signature smile. “The bill was barely in my range, though that was because of my gluttonous butt. My wallet will be hurtn’ for weeks.” he said, rubbing his neck sheepishly. Joe glanced over at Sara, who, as noted, wasn’t paying attention. Joe elbowed her lightly and scrunched his nose. “Are you paying attention or what? I may have lost a ton of money, but we made some serious progress!” he whined. Sara groaned quietly and looked at Joe. “Hey, I promised I wouldn’t pay my full attention. But, whatever, did you kiss or something?” Joe scoffed, taken aback. “Of course not! You know they call people who kiss on first dates monsters and stuff. Come on, have you never been on a date before.” He said teasingly. “Nah, we held hands though! Crazy progress, right? Well, technically I fell in a construction hole and she helped me out, but whatever, it still counts.” He said excitedly. Sara, not wanting to dampen his happy mood any further, shook her head and smiled. “Well, that’s something.”

They passed under a street light, casting a shadow on their faces. “You know, you really never have been on a date, huh?” Joe asked, interrupting the calming silence. “Huh?” Sara muttered, confused. Well, she hadn’t, but why did it matter? It shouldn’t take personal experience to half-heartedly listen to your classmate’s story he excitedly retold. “Well, not like it really matters. But if Ryoko and I end up getting together, you’ll be the sad third wheel!” He said with a joking tone.

Sara rolled her eyes for the third or fourth time and crossed her arms. “You’re taking this awfully seriously, huh? And why would I be the ‘Sad Fourth Wheel’? Ryoko wouldn’t choose a boyfriend over her best friend in a million years.” She said it rather confidently, but she never actually considered the possibility. Sure, she set up Joe and Ryoko mainly because Joe bugged her about it, but she didn’t think too far into it. She kind of assumed the relationship wouldn’t get too far. That’s what she kind of hoped, anyway.

Joe shrugged and continued walking. “I’m simply planning ahead, and like I said, we made tons of progress today, so success is basically guaranteed!” He said confidently.

Sara sighed and smiled a bit. “You’re too much sometimes.”

Joe chuckled and put his hands on his hips. “You like me for it though.” he said with a wide smile.

Sara scoffed a bit amusingly. “If that’s what you say.” As much as she would deny it, Joe is actually partially right. Perhaps it’s because Joe is so trusting, carefree, and emotional? It was a nice counter to her straightforward and logical nature.

They rounded the corner of their block and passed under another streetlight, once again casting shadows on both of their faces. As they approached her house, Sara noticed something…...A warm and pleasant aroma wafting through the area (what, you thought it was something else? I told you there’s no killing game hehe)! As she breathed it in, Sara smiled. Joe looked over at her with a wide smirk. “What’re you cooking?” he asked curiously.

“What do you mean ‘What am I cooking?', I’m literally next to you right now.” Sara asked with an exasperated yet amused look.

Joe chuckled and rubbed his neck and chuckled. “Right, I know that but like…” He said trailing off.

“What, do you want to eat inside? You just had kabobs and were complaining about how full you are!”

“Yeah, but like….” Joe said, moping a bit, “I told you I’m a glutton. Plus, I walked off all the calories.”

“Jeeze, for someone who looks as gaudy as you do, you certainly make a lot of silly excuses.” Sara said, crossing her arms and smirking. “Fine, I’ll ask my parents.”

“Yaaay! Thanks!” He said, beaming happily like a child who was just given a balloon.

Sara laughed a bit as she swung open the door and held it open for Joe. Surely enough, as it smelt, her parents made her one of her favorite meals: Mashed sweet potatoes with chestnuts and roasted chicken. Mouth watering already, Sara grabbed Joe’s hand and pulled him to the kitchen...

#yttd #joe tazuna #jou tazuna #sara chidouin #headcannon #yttd headcanons

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caffeinetheory · 3 years

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Searching for a New Home [WIP?]

Hey y’all, this is very different from anything I’ve posted on my tumblr before but it has been sitting in my drafts for a while and maybe if i post what I have it’ll encourage me to write more.... dream smp style fantasy au that i have a lot planed for but who knows if I will ever finish at this rate

~~~~

if you are interested what i have is under the cut

The sound of his own breathing was getting to him. Dream was wandering in a new land, he could sense the magic in the air, it wasn’t hostile--yet. The only sounds in the current meadow he stumbled upon was his own warm breath, a quiet river in the distance and buzzing of bees he couldn’t yet see. He was used to being alone but it still ate at him, having to hide his face, even if he was a lone made it worse.

The sun was high in the sky when Dream made it to the flowing river, the slashing of fish welcomed after so long. He checked around him many times before deeming it safe to move his mask to the side, not fully off because you can never be too careful in unknown lands. How had he even gotten there? Leaning back on his hands the blonde stared into the great expanse of sky above him like it would have the answers he wished for. It never did, but the sun on his face was more than enough.

The sun was no longer high in the sky when Dream opened his eyes again, the only sounds being the running river by his feet. He took to rifling through his bag looking for a fishing rod and what he would need for a small campfire. It took him a minute but he found his trusty pole. Checking his surroundings one more time before taking off his mask and storing it safely in his bag, it was still empty; he had no worries of anyone seeing his face.

Plonk, the bobber hitting the water made a satisfying sound as he threw his pole. In one hand he idly held it, with the other he flicked his wrist making a small campfire to cook his dinner. Right as he was about to say the incantation to light the fire a tug focused his attention back on to the river, he got a bite. It fought back for about a minute before Dream was able to win, yanking it out of the water and into his waiting hands. It was well worth the fight as one of the biggest cods landed in his gloved hands. He would have to dry his gloves but well worth it as the fish would be at least two meals, maybe even four if he smoked it right.

The sky was a mix of orange and purple when the fish was almost done roasting over the fire, it smelled heavenly. While it was cooking Dream made sure to put up a small barrier and find his bed roll in his seemingly endless bag. It was probably really dumb but the sjy was beautiful here so he wanted to sleep inder the stars, not the canopy.

The flaky fish melted in his mouth, he wanted to moan with how good it tasted. It was one of the best things he had ever eaten, maybe this place wasn’t so bad after all. Half the fish was gone before he stopped himself, he needed to save the rest for later. By the time he had preserved it the crescent moon was out, the fireflies were saying hello and the kindling was gone, long since offering heat of light. Dream stifled a yawn as he stretched, a good shut eye would do him some good. Before he curled up into his bedroll a smile on his face.

~~~

Incessant pounding on his barrier is what woke the sleeping blonde up. His arm currently covered his eyes as he groaned, the pundung seemed to hesitate for a moment before it picked up again, slightly slower. Dream was glad he made the spell that would become opaque once the sun rose, he rubbed some sleep from his eyes and looked for his mask and a pocket knife, you can never be too careful.

“Hello?” the voice came through muffled and unsure, whoever was on the other side was persiant but shy? Was that the right word, Dream wasn’t sure but he made sure he had his bag and knife concealed before he dropped the only thing keeping him and this stranger apart.

~~~

It was early morning when Sapnap stumbled upon a greenish double by a river. That was certainly new, and new meant something interesting.

He started by tapping the surface, it seemed to ripple where he touched but otherwise did not change… interesting indeed. Sapnap spent the next 15 minutes walking around the sizable bubble poking it in different spots to see if there would be any other reactions, spoiler alert there were none. He considered setting fire to the outside, a small flame coming to life on his fingertips before a that sounds suspiciously like a Siren he knew advised him against it.

He had nothing better to do with his day, thus began his constant pounding on the outside of the odd barrier like thing in the middle of this field by a river. This continued for at least 40 minutes, he was thinking of giving up when he heard what sounded like a groan? Was someone in there? Were they okay? Subpoena continued his pounding with more purpose.

Nothing had happened yet so he hesitated before pausing his punding to ask, ”hello, is anyone in there?” his voice was getting quieter feeling stpuid as he asked the question. Surely if someone was there he would have heard it right?

As Sapnap was going to start pounding again the barrier dropped and he was left staring at a white mask devoid of anything but a drawn smile. He dropped his hand awkwardly,”...uh hi?”

~~~

Dream blinked at the person who had woken him up, no that the other could see. It took him a second to respond but he decided to just tilt his head at the other in question. Said person rubbed the back of his neck, it was clear he was nervous.

“You knew around here?” his voice was light and crisp, before Dream could even respond though he continued, “Well of course you are. I’ve never seen you before and I practically know this place like the back of my hand,” Dream loosened his grip on the knife and waved his hand at the person to stop the rambling.

“Yeah you could say that,” there was a smile in his voice as he saw them stumble over their words now that he had spoken.

They blinked before holding out a hand, “Sapnap.”

Dream tentatively reached out and shook his hand, “Call me Dream.” The guy's hands were warm, very warm, he would have to keep note of that.

Dream simply nodded at him and went to take his leave, the guy was clearly not going to hurt him. Sapnap didn’t leave though, he followed walking idley around him. Sometimes he was walking backwards in front of him, sometimes he was circling Dream and sometimes he would walk to his side but widely gesturing talking with his whole body. At first the constant talking was something Dream wanted to be mad at, but he found himself enjoying the other’s voice. The longer they stayed together the more he noticed about the slightly shorter man. Like the way he smelled of applewood and cinnamon, and the way he talked so casually to a stranger.

It was close to noon when Sapnap finally asked him a real question that he couldn't just nod an answer to, “Where are you going?”

Dream paused, his humming stopped as he thought about it, “I’m not sure to be honest,” his response seemed to throw Sapnap for a loop as he nearly walked into a tree.

Dream now had fully stopped walking a hand on his chin in thought, sure he was exploring but why? That was the question wasn’t it. Maybe he should find a place to live, would that be the right move. Making a home here?

A hand waving in front of his face broke his thoughts, “You still there homie?” Sapnap stood in front of him with a look of concern on his face. He had stopped just in front of Dream leaning over slightly to make sure he was fine.

It brought a smile to his face, someone he barely knew was showing concern for him. It was an odd feeling he wasn't used to but one he quite liked if he was honest, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” he waved his hand dismissively.

Dream started to walk again but with more purpose, a startled Sapnap followed after a second and continued to fill the air with chatter.

~~~

“Tell me more about yourself?” Sapnap had changed the topic yet again. Dream no longer minded though. No one had grown so much to him as this stranger- no he was definitely no longer a stranger.

He found himself actually talking about himself, no lies or half truths. Dream hopped he wouldn’t regret this but something told him he wouldn’t. He started with some basics anyone could guess, then favorite colors and foods. The more he talked the more his companion leaned in his genuine interest clear as he eagerly nodded along and prompted questions. The more he talked the more Dream pervebarbly let down his hair and his hands began to join in his talking. His hands spoke almost as much as he did, it had been so long since he felt he could be this open.

It was while he was talking about some ‘recent’ adventures that he split up, walking backwards to face Sapnap, hands moving to show the action he was talking about. Some fight in a dark cave, “my sword covered in the green fire chopped off the queen spider’s head and set the surroundings webs to flames lighting up the whole area! I could see all the bodies disintegrate as the one that had made them faded slowly,” his hands were high, his breath slightly ragged as he was moving so much when he realized he mentioned magic, but not any magic. His magic.

Oh gods oh no ohnonononono no no no not again he can’t have messed this up again, his thoughts were getting crowded as he was beginning to panic. One hand reached up to where his mouth would be but was blocked by his mask, he could feel his eyes growing wide. Not again, not when he had just made a friend. Dream was still walking backwards but couldn’t meet Sapnap’s eyes. A gasp made him jerk his head towards him. He was ready to defend himself with his other hand when chestnut eyes filled with excitement would have met his own. The mask still blocked the fear he held in his own eyes from being seen.

“Bro that’s so sick!” there was such passion in his companion’s eyes, like he had a fire of his own.

Dream’s voice betrayed his utter shock as it mumbled out his disbelief. Sapnap didn’t seem to pick up on this distress and he grabbed the taller man’s hands and spun him around pure joy positively oozing out of his entire being.

“You have fire too?!” it wasn’t said with an actuation, it was said in excitement. Dream could do nothing but blink behind his mask in confusion. Sapnap seemed to finally catch Dream’s lack of movement, “Are you okay buddy?”

////////////////////////

that’s all i have written so far for this work but i have more or less a lot of it planed out with most people to set up the over all au i have set up, maybe i bit off to much by trying to make one really long work but who knows

#dreamwastaken #dream smp au #sapnap #wip??#i honestly have no idea how to tag this #fantasy au #i have 2 finshed things writen already #this was stared right before or around pogtopias beginging #old i know #i have a bit of notes #may need to revist #add some people #but its mostly just fun family time #ish #my wrting #shot me later and i hope this isnt a mistake #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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flameofchaos · 4 years

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Whispers in the Dark - The Slayers fanfic

Warnings: blood, and I think xellos himself is a warning. Everything he does or says is disturbing. What do you expect from a demon? ^_^”

Like always THANK YOU to my dear Beta: @naiokiara

Chapter 4

“I’m soooo hungry, Lina!” complained Gourry for the third time within an hour, traipsing behind the sorceress.

“I knooooow!” she howled almost like a wounded wolf. “Me too! My stomach is so empty it will consume the rest of my guts soon.”

“I caught a small lizard. We can roast it when we stop to rest,” Zelgadis sighed deeply. Although his chimeric body was much stronger than his comrades’, he also felt uncomfortable. They haven’t eaten anything since the previous morning.

“When we stop to rest I’m going to roast a much bigger, golden lizard!” hissed Lina, crushing the blond girl with her chestnut-brown eyes.

“Miss Lina, it’s not very kind to call Miss Filia a lizard,” noted Amelia faintly, knowing it was unhealthy and unsafe to talk to the witch when she was starving.

The dragoness gritted her teeth. “In the evening we should be in another town. Stop complaining, already! How will you save the world if you can’t stand such a small inconvenience?”

Only the fact that Lina had to save her energy stopped her from throwing a Fireball right into the proud priestess who walked in front of her.

The red-haired sorceress had been in a bad mood since the previous evening. It’s not like she’d slept badly. Actually, the nap on the demon’s chest was very comfortable. Too comfortable. But Xellos making fun of her… Lina licked her lips again, but she still couldn’t get rid of the Mazoku’s flavour. Probably it wasn’t on her tongue anymore, but somehow it affected her mind. She couldn’t stop thinking about his stupid joke. He kissed her! No, it wasn’t a kiss, right? He just licked her tongue. Gross! So why had this awful act made her feel so strange between her thighs?

Gods, she will go insane with those demons and dragons.

Xellos had awakened her after midnight with a whisper that it was time for Zelgadis’ watch and then melted into darkness. Lina, sleepy and suddenly alone, had felt with double strength the cold wind all around. She had awakened the shaman, added to the fire some twigs from completely dry bushes growing near, and laid next to Gourry near the campfire. The blond warrior had been in deep sleep while the sorceress observed him with ambivalent feelings. He had breathed loudly, his strong chest moving up and down. The silent snoring had buzzed in Lina’s ears, somehow calming her. They had travelled together for so long, it was almost impossible for the sorceress to even imagine it would ever change. When once she had asked the swordsman how long he was going to be her protector, she had surprised him with her question. “For the rest of my life?” He had answered without hesitation.

He was a good man. Too good for someone so wild as Lina. He deserved someone delicate and pure like himself, like that priestess from Sairaag City, Sylphiel. She had always been in love with Gourry and only Lina’s presence by his side was an issue.

The sorceress had smiled and shifted a blond lock away from Gourry’s face with a fond gesture. What should she do with him? What does she feel for him? Her heart was filled with warmth for the warrior… but the other man had just made it drum like crazy this evening. Why would she even think about Xellos that way? She didn’t want to! It wasn’t her fault the demon knew exactly which string to pull to sneak into her thoughts. He was an evil magical creature, not a human! Technically he wasn’t even alive. Nothing had happened. He had teased her, had his fun, and probably made a fat supper of her emotions. That’s all. She would behave like there were no embarrassing intimate acts between them. Because there weren’t, right? A foot massage, mental bonding (it could be considered a magic ritual), some friendly reminiscing, and fooling around with those kisses, only to make her feel uncomfortable. Typical for Xellos. But even in the morning, Lina still couldn’t stop thinking about that. Better for her to buck up, otherwise that bastard would easily notice how his mischief had worked and continue with it.

“We have to talk, Miss Lina.” Filia slowed down so the other girl found herself by her side.

“About the fact we will die in this desert without water and food before anyone decides to destroy this world?”

“About Xellos.”

Great. She needed distraction from him, not to focus on him.

“From the moment he appeared he has treated you all as good friends. I insist that we must abandon his companionship! It is an offence to us, especially me, as a priestess of light, to spend even a second in his filthy presence.”

Lina rolled her eyes.

“And what should I do? He doesn’t react to a “Shooo!” command. He does what he wants. So long it isn’t us dripping all in red, I am fine with his company.”

“But he is a Mazoku!” Filia stopped in front of Lina to embolden the words. “What if he betrays us?”

Lina smiled sourly.

“My dear Filia, the question isn’t if he betrays us, but WHEN he betrays us.”

“And you say it so calmly?” At her emotions, Filia’s long tail slipped out from under her skirt.

“Can I do anything about that fact? No. Can I tell Xellos to leave us alone? Yes, but he’ll ignore it. If we piss him off, we will have against us not only Valgaav, but also the fourth most powerful Mazoku in this world not counting Shabranigdo. Do we need that? No. Can we handle such a threat? No. Sorry, Filia, but your dignity has to stand up to much more than his jokes about golden dragons. Besides, it is always you who starts fights.”

“Well said, Miss Lina.” Air wavered, condensing into a shadow that formed into a male shape. Xellos smiled brightly at the group. “Good morning. Have you missed me? How is my sweet Filia the Destroyer today? My deepest respects! My Mistress, the Greater Beast, sends her regrets that she couldn’t see the show herself.”

Filia’s face momentarily became red with rage.

“Give her a break, Xellos! What do you want, again?” snarled the chimera.

“Not nice, Mr. Zelgadis.” The demon pouted. “I dropped in to bring some food and water. Straight from Seiruun’s best restaurant.” He took out from the dimensional pocket some delicious-smelling packages. “But if you don’t want it, then…”

“OUR SAVIOUR!” Lina and Gourry practically jumped on the man to get the meal.

“Oh, my.” Xellos stepped out of their way. “Filia, you really should start to feed your workers. They were ready to bite off my hand. Even, we, Mazoku, don’t drive our minions to such a state. Miss Amelia, Mr, Zelgadis?” The demon offered packages also for the princess and the shaman. Both sighed shamefully, but took the gifts, trying not to look into Filia's eyes. Hunger at the moment was stronger than loyalty.

“And what about you?” The Greater Beast’s Priest smiled angelically at the dragoness.

“I prefer to starve to death rather than take anything from such a filthy monster!” Hissed the girl, her tail waving angrily. “Miss Lina! Don’t eat it! It's poisoned for sure!”

“Then I will die with a full stomach!” snapped the sorceress with the mouth filled with food.

“Slowly, Miss Lina; you will choke yourself! My, they are so enthusiastic, aren’t they?” giggled the Mazoku. “Come on, Filia. Maybe an apple?” A red fruit appeared in his hand. “It isn’t poisoned. I need you all as a bait for Valgaav, did you forget?”

“I won’t…”

“Take it!” Lina’s glare could melt rocks into lava.

“Fine!” Filia finally reached for food too, trying to ignore the fact Xellos had abandoned politely titling her as Miss. She wouldn’t allow him to provoke her again.

“Good little dragoness,” praised the demon.

“You are a real friend, Xellos. We would die here for sure without your help. Phew!” Gourry happily patted his full belly with relief.

“As I said earlier, I need you all alive. That’s all.” Xellos shrugged, crouching next to Lina to show her a map. “In this direction is the end of the desert. Here is a small inn on the trail.”

“But there is the town we wanted to visit.” The sorceress sounded disappointed, indicating the other direction.

“Better not. I checked. Gravos and Jillas made another trap there for you. Valgaav isn’t with them. As we heard it, Almace ordered him to withdraw temporarily. There is no point in another confrontation with pawns.”

“True.”

“And you think we would believe you?” Filia was ready to start another quarrel with fresh strength now, since she’d finished not only the apple but also the dish Xellos had left next to her just in case she changed her mind.

“I think you are not in a position to decide today after that wonderful disaster in the previous town.” The demon’s eyes shifted from the dragoness to the sorceress. “What will you do, Miss Lina?”

The redhead nodded.

“We will stay in the inn.”

“Wonderful.” Xellos moved his hand to wipe something off Lina’s cheek and slid the finger into his own mouth, making the sorceress blush deeply. “My apologies; I love this sauce. Sometimes things are so delicious I can’t resist.” He smiled, trapping the girl’s gaze in his hypnotic glare under half-closed eyelids. “Till the evening then.” He vanished before two stones, thrown in the same moment by Lina and Filia, reached his face.

***

The Mazoku, with regret, left the company of his favourite humans (well, he had to admit that dragon girl was also very amusing, even if the sweetness of her anger was a little spoiled by her sacred power) and jumped into the Astral Dimension, dispersing his physical form into dark energy. From here, where the material body didn't limit his power, he could divide his attention among the travellers, Valgaav's minions waiting in the town (poor things - they will be so frustrated when no one appears) and the rest of the nearby lands looking for any other sign of the traitor.

Valgaav was good at hiding. Or maybe not directly him, but his new friend's nest somehow shielded him from the Mazoku's Astral Eye.

No need to be angry about that. The traitor won't have his revenge on Lina sitting on his ass. He has to make a step forward. It looks like Jillas and Gravos don’t act directly on Valgaav's orders, but… they just wanted to help their master of their own wills. How touching… the loyalty and worship in their hearts.

Xellos soon got bored with tracing towns, fields and the desert without any success. Images of it were flowing through his mind, but the Mazoku's thoughts returned to the previous night with Lina.

It had been a masochistic torture to have her so closely clinging to his body for so long. The Chaos in her was calling him, almost demanding that he sink claws and fangs into this mortal girl. Only the fact Xellos was an experienced old Mazoku let him control his bloody needs. It was painful, but the longer he had kept her in his embrace, the more the feeling changed into a pulsing pleasure.

She probably hadn't noticed anything, thinking that his touches were nothing more than his usual teasing. If Lina could see how limited his senses are… How hard is it to resist the urge of deep contact with her… she would attack him immediately.

The sorceress apparently had been sure he had only wanted to give her some warmth with his cloak, even when she knew the cloak wasn’t a fabric but part of himself. In fact he had wrapped her body tightly only so he could be closer to her. The Chaos was radiating from her whole body faintly. The more he interacted with her, the more he could feel that. Her clothes were a barrier. The demon needed the thinnest way to get to the source. The Chaos flew in Lina's veins, filled her muscles and organs, and pulsed in her mind as well. The most sensitive places on her body were pathways to it. The places where skin was thin and innervated: lips, neck, ears and others that the human species used for procreation. Lesser Mazoku desired only to tear this young woman apart to devour her and make the Chaos one with them… of course only till the moment a stronger beast of darkness would hunt them down to get the power for themselves.

Xellos had a much better plan… as long as he is able to stay conscious while being near the Chaos for so long.

It had been hard to not steal a kiss or two from her. The skin of her nose and forehead was a little salty from the sweat from a hot day, which dried by chill night. The demon's lips had felt ticklish after the contact, especially after the moment Lina had noticed his heart hadn't beat so he’d heightened the level of the reality of the human vessel, shaping organs inside of the body. This only sharpened his human senses.

Xellos sometimes liked taking such a form. It demanded more power and focus to create a good human body copy, but it was very helpful in the art of manipulation, not to mention the improved pleasure of mortal senses. Like in that moment when he had used her distraction to brush his tongue against hers. The effect almost had shattered his control. His perfect falsification of taste buds felt the sweet wetness and slick inside of Lina's mouth. The experience had been intense itself, but mixed with his Mazoku's abilities, had made him moan internally. Chaos was so close, somewhere under this thin layer he had touched. Her saliva, which had remained in his mouth, had been full of very tiny parts of that terrifying power dreaming in the girl.

So hard to not reach for more! He had to be patient and not scare away his precious sorceress. Her emotions had gone crazy. Lina was startled and angry with his boldness… but he could also feel what he had needed: human arousal, shame and embarrassment.

Soon he was going to get more. Much more.

***

The inn was a great choice. The food was tasty, and rooms small, but it had everything tired travellers needed to refresh themselves.

Lina wished to finally lay her head on the pillow and drift away, so she didn't listen very carefully to Filia's complaints during the meal. Thank gods, Xellos didn't join them there, so the priestess returned to her usual panic about the prophecy the group had heard so often they were able to wake up reciting it in the middle of night.

After food they finally headed to bed. This inn was much more modest than the previous one where they’d had the pleasure to sleep, so Lina had no other choice than to clean herself in a bowl of warm water. Better this than nothing.

When she finished and changed clothes into a nightgown, she started to brush her red long locks energetically, wondering lazily how likely it was that the threat to the world was real. Of course their lives were in danger like usual, but Lina, not for the first time, had serious enemies to deal with. The most important thing was to keep fighting.

The sorceress gasped when, reaching for another strand of hair, her fingers had met an unexpected shape she recognized as someone’s hand. She looked quickly in the mirror and in the darkness behind her, two reptilian amethyst eyes glowed delicately. A stranger's digits ran through her locks again.

"May I?" Xellos took the hairbrush from the shocked girl.

"Someday you will lead me to the grave. I HATE when you do that! I didn't invite you here!" Lina finally reminded herself about breathing. He seriously scared her. "Mercy, Xellos. Doors really were invented for knocking!"

"My apologies, I didn't want Filia to know I'm visiting you again." His hands were skillful, and Lina's shoulders tired, so in the end she allowed him to brush her hair. "Is something wrong? This time I waited till the moment you finished refreshing."

"And how did you realize that I was finished?" Asked the sorceress with a weak tone. It was more than obvious he had peeked at her from the Astral Dimension. "Do you even know the meaning of the word privacy?" She snarled, observing his reflection while the demon was tying her locks into a plait.

Xellos smiled. "Of course I know. That's why I'm meeting you now. We couldn't have our nice scientific talks next to your friends."

Lina grimaced. Their ‘nice scientific talks’ cost her all night and a day of feeling funny in some parts of her body. "What do you want? Evenings in your company end with a headache. I don't want you here today."

"Quite the opposite, Miss Lina. You are yearning for my company." Xellos' smile widened, and Lina growled helplessly. "Don't be afraid of me, please. I swear I won't do anything against your wish this evening."

"My wish but not my words." Noted Lina sourly. She wasn't sure if she liked that because her emotions were insanely conflicted between enjoyment of his presence and fear of the demon.

"Correct," confirmed Xellos happily, shifting the finished plait on Lina's chest. "Is that a problem?" He sat on the bed's edge next to the chair occupied by Lina.

"Why are you here?" The sorceress sighed heavily.

"You haven't given me the answer on my offer yet," the Mazoku reminded her.

Lina bit the inner part of her cheek. Her eyes darkened. "It's been too little time. I need more than one day," she whispered. The fact Xellos had proposed a contract was a huge thing. Normally she would laugh at any such Mazoku's proposition, but… refusing openly to this one would be dangerous for her and the rest of the company. Creatures of darkness rarely could stand such an offence calmly.

"That's ok, Miss Lina." Xellos reached his arm and touched the witch's cheek directing her face towards him, so their eyes could meet. "Take as much time as you need. I didn't say I want the answer now. But…" His thumb brushed the line of her jaw, and the girl felt a cold shiver travelling down her spine. "... I'm not going to sit and just wait. Meanwhile I will try to convince you."

Lina's heart just tried to escape through her throat.

"Could you not touch me, please?" She asked weakly.

"Why?" He purred, wrapping her plait around his fingers and pulling her towards him till the moment the demon could feel her irregular breath on his face. "Because of those things your body does against your will? It's not a shame to crave another person, Miss Lina. This is how your species works. I like the scent of your arousal. And your lovely shame… it tastes like strawberries."

The sorceress’ sight blurred in panic. With one quick move she jumped on the other side of the room. In her hands had already formed a ball of fire aiming at the intruder… but the bed was empty. Lina cursed under her nose. She shouldn't let him provoke her.

"Now, now… Such spells are dangerous indoors." Hands appeared from behind her, grasping her wrists firmly, forcing her to let the energy melt away in the air. "Calm down, Miss Lina. You know you can't win with me, however I appreciate the attempt. Is this what you, humans, call foreplay?" Breath of his giggle blew into her nape, raising every single hair on Lina's body.

She would swear that a moment ago, he hadn’t needed to take air into his lungs. A sudden closeness of his body behind her, and the awareness of the lost fight while the demon knew everything about how he works on her, frustrated Lina extremely.

Xellos turned the girl around so she would face him. That annoying smug smile on his handsome face enraged the witch.

"What a lovely blush! Smile, Miss Lina. I know you enjoy those little acts of mischiefs… or at least your body does."

"Stop fooling around!" She snarled, trying to free herself, but he only laughed at her, raising her hands to his mouth and kissing top of both warmly, before he pulled her again towards him, wringing her arms behind her back and pressing her body to his. Lina momentarily became docile, unsure of what would happen.

“I’m afraid I enjoy our evenings too much, Miss Lina,” the demon whispered, looking into her eyes with amusement. “So till the moment you give me the answer, I’m going to spend them with you.”

“So from the next town on, I’m going to share a room with Amelia,” the girl snapped back.

“Miss Lina! A triangle? So soon? You dirty little girl.” His wide grin almost drove the sorceress crazy with fury, but before she could gift him a bite or kick attempt, he pushed her onto the bed.

Lina quickly used her freedom to grab a knife from under a pillow, pointing it at the Mazoku.

“Really? You want to use this against ME? Is that a joke?” Xellos too sat on the bed.

“Don’t mind it. It just makes me feel a little better. The illusion of control of the situation.” Lina’s body was tense and ready to attack at any moment. Most of her reactions were instinctive. Somehow she knew that Xellos really only toyed with her now and all she had to lose was a little dignity.

“I see. Then use it.”

“Pardon me?” She blinked.

“Cut my body, Miss Lina.”

“But…” The sorceress lost her confidence. Even if she knew the blade wasn’t able to harm Xellos at all, she couldn’t force herself to do it.

The man smiled at her and pulled her ankle to have the sorceress closer. Even now she resisted attacking. Xellos raised his eyebrows.

“So… you trust me, Miss Lina.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t trust even myself.” She snorted and caught the air desperately, when his hand traveled up her ankle, slipping under her nightgown, through the shin and stopped on her knee.

“Even now you won’t attack? Is this an invitation?” His smile reminded her of a wolf’s one

Lina threw a pillow into his smug face.

“What's wrong with you today?”

“I don’t know. Probably, the way I affect you got me a little drunk.”

“Can Mazoku even get drunk?” Lina was sceptical.

“In some ways, apparently yes.” He took back his hand, and the sorceress felt unexpected disappointment and chill in the place his fingers had rested. “I promised to convince you of the contract with me. Treat these evenings as an opportunity. I will be more willing to share the forbidden knowledge than usual.”

This immediately pinned Lina’s attention.

“Can I ask whatever I want?” Her eyes gleamed like a child’s on its birthday.

“You can ask, but I choose what I will answer, my dear. Let’s say, the larger base of knowledge is available after the contract is formed.”

Lina blushed again at his fond tone and wondered about the first question. She didn’t want to push her luck too much in the beginning, so she chose a safe one. “Do you breathe only as a masquerade?”

“Hmm…” Xellos brushed his chin; “It’s a more complex topic than you think. The basic answer would be: yes, I do it mostly to hide among mortals, but since we are here for a longer conversation, we can go deeper into the issue.”

“Is there a connection with the heartbeat you can turn on and off?” Lina remembered the previous evening.

“It is all connected. Creating the physical vessel is more demanding than you’d think. That’s why only the most powerful of us can reproduce the human body in a way that seems to be real. I think a small presentation is needed.” The Mazoku reached his arm out to Lina. His dark coat and sleeve melted into a shadow absorbed by the rest of his body, shaping a bare forearm. Xellos’ clothes looked strange now, like someone had cut off half of them. Muscles seemed to be real, though.

Lina furrowed her eyebrows, cocking her head to see better. A subtle map of veins and tendons were visible when Xellos stretched the arm. Till this moment she didn’t realize how complicated the construction of human organisms was. No wonder the lower rank Mazoku looked creepy, not being able to make their physical forms as good as Xellos’. Randomly placed eyes or limbs often mixed with animal parts. Chimeras from horrors fully deserving to be called monsters or demons.

“Cut my arm.”

Lina glanced at the Mazoku unsure, but Xellos grasped her hand and slid the blade through the flesh, before the girl could react. Inside the wound was blackness and emptiness which started to pour outside in the form of smoke for a short moment before the cut healed.

“So it’s only the perfect surface,” she concluded.

“It is,” the Mazoku confirmed. “Only at this level. Check now.” He pressed her fingertips to the inner side of his wrist. Lina shifted uneasily, when she suddenly felt the pulse. “This level of detail demands much more energy from me in creating the vessel. Cut my arm again. Deep!”

The sorceress clenched her jaw, but did that, almost immediately gasping in surprise when sliced flesh parted under the knife and blood (black like a night sky) burst out. She could easily see muscles, veins… even a bone deep inside. Xellos hissed in pain, but the wound started to heal before a panicked Lina could find anything to wrap up his arm.

“Easy, Miss Lina. Everything is alright. It is only a good copy. Even having the body in such a faithful form l am still a Mazoku. I will regenerate wounds immediately.” He chuckled at her terrified face.

“Warn me next time, before you drown my bed in blood, you asshole.” She punched him in the chest.

“Sorry about that.” Black stains on the sheets vanished, returning to the monster as smoke. “This state lets me feel in a similar way to humans: taste, pain, pleasure. I reconstruct everything inside: my all organs can work exactly like yours… if I need that. Additionally I still have my Mazoku powers. I can smoothly jump between my physical forms in a blink of an eye, but it costs me lots of energy.”

“So you are able to eat, drink and enjoy the sense of touch like every human.” Lina was impressed.

“Copulation also isn’t a problem, and there is no risk of impregnation. I can’t copy the body to THAT level.” Before he’d finished, another pillow hit his face. “Oh, Miss Lina, you shouldn't be so shy. We are talking from a scientific point of view, right?” His bright teasing smile told her the opposite.

“Exactly. I’m not going to even consider that a veiled offer.” The sorceress murmured, totally red to the tips of her ears. “I was sure even you couldn’t create such a perfect body, but you can reproduce all five human senses… why are your eyes still so inhuman?”

“Because your species' sight is imperfect. I prefer to see well in darkness even being in the physical form. This is why I mixed into my vessel some animal abilities.”

"But how did you know how humans work? You have to know that to make such a perfect copy."

Xellos' smile faded and the demon remained silent.

"Don't tell me: it's a secret." Lina rolled her eyes.

"It isn't, but you wouldn't like the answer. Do you want to hear it after all?"

Lina swallowed nervously. She could guess by herself: "Lots of very nasty experiments," the sorceress whispered.

"Astral possessions, enslaving humans, torturing them, examining. Dissections, vivisections… Should I say more? What did you expect? I am a Mazoku. Shaping my physical vessel to the level I showed you took me hundreds of years."

Lina wrapped her knees with her arms, pulling them to her chest, feeling sick.

"Your race has an adorable tendency to underestimate someone who behaves in a friendly and silly way. Even you, Miss Lina, sometimes forget my true nature."

"You were right. I don't like the answer and it rather won't convince me to make a contract with you. So… good night?" She waved in the direction of the door.

"Everything has good and bad sides." Xellos ignored her words. "I don't need to do those things anymore. I'm afraid I’ve spoiled the mood. I better prefer you to be enthusiastic than gloomy. Any other questions?"

"Not today." Lina turned away her eyes, hoping that the demon would finally leave the room, but the Mazoku only shifted closer to her, taking her hand into his, stroking gently.

"You don't need to be afraid of me for now. You are… special to me."

"I feel that." She snorted, returning to her rather confident attitude, finally glancing at the man from under her eyelashes. "Even Filia isn't so harassed by you. I just wonder what makes me so interesting. My beautiful eyes? My intelligence? Sense of humour?" The sorceress joked, but then she bit her tongue, seeing Xellos smiling in a way she has never seen before. His amethyst eyes gleamed in a candle’s light, making her feel strangely hot in a way she already had enough.

"It's a secret," he finally answered, kissing her fingers, and then pressing his cheek to the inner side of her palm.

"Okay, you are scaring me," whispered Lina, and it was true.

"Not only scaring you." She felt his lips on her cheek, and realized he smiled wider, inhaling her scent into his fake lungs. "Strawberries." A low whisper in her ear, hot breath on Lina's neck. "Maybe someday should I try this dessert?"

Lina turned towards him ready to tell him what she thought about that, but suddenly she was alone in the room. Even the candles were extinguished.

The witch lay more comfortably in the bed, but she couldn't fall asleep, observing the ceiling as though there would be answers for how to deal with everything that had fallen onto her fragile back.

"I hate when he does that."

#xellina #xellos #lina inverse #the slayers #fanfic #whispers in the dark - xellina fanfic

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