#depressed-studying

[cloned-eyes]

T: Crosshair?

C: I'm sorry, brother-

No thoughts just depression hours

#the bad batch #tbb crosshair #tbb tech #the bad batch fanart #star wars #eyesdraws #wip #S3 AU where Tech loses his sight but Hondo gets him back to Pabu #Meanwhile teh other batchers get Crosshair and Omega back #they reunite and Crosshair feels reponsible over Techs servere injury #i just want them to bond honestly #i really should do some more studying but i needed to sketch this out #depression hours y'all

[drac-kool-aid]

Seward's bone deep desire to run away from the asylum is not exactly surprising. There have been a lot of really good meta posts about how the return of Van Helsing into his life is the turning point where we see the caring and good side of him and how we can interpret his life as a student in Amersterdam as one of freedom and happiness. How he is part of the tragedy of manners, how strict social expectations allow Dracula to persist, and how they only exacerbate the unhappiness of the characters.

And I think the tragedy of Seward is that, really, he should not be the head of an asylum. It's a job that brings him no joy, and he's BAD at it. We can all recognize that if your first reaction to going back to work is "What if I just leave it all." That isn't a healthy work environment.

Now, in the modern day, the ability to pick and choose a work environment, even to leave one that is damaging your mental health, is a privilege. (IT SHOULDNT BE, but it is). And, although it is definitely reaching crisis levels in modern times, major changes in your career have almost always been difficult (unless you are really rich, or a particular brand of academic in the 17th-18th century, or both).

Seward can't just leave and become a surgeon. To give up the lofty position of "Head of an Asylum" would be unthinkable in the 1890s, especially for a reason like "Being here is basically turning me into the Joker." Like, how would Seward explain that in polite society? Would they accept that reasoning? Would they create salacious gossip if they didn't? Can Seward leave his position without losing a great amount of social capital?

Probably not.

His rise to head of an asylum, as many have pointed out, was meteoric, to say the least. It has afforded him status and respect and also left him deeply, deeply fucked up. And he can't leave!

I think his desperate attempts to quantify Renfield's behaviors into a new mental illness are telling in this regard. Maybe he is too used to having to meet some sort of expectation, and now he thinks this is the logical next step (It's NOT, but I digress). The feeling of having to keep performing above expectations, grasping at straws to do so, and subsequently burning oneself out (as well as others around you) and engaging in unethical practices? Idk. It sounds like something that would happen today. (tbh there are probably a ton of Sewards out there today, as there are still systemic problems within the mental health system that allow for the dehumanizing and abuse of patients).

It doesn't excuse his behavior. Nothing he does to Renfield is excusable, but I think it does explain some of the *why*. He isn't just cruel for cruelty's sake.

So, tldr I guess: I think reading Seward as someone who got stuck on a career path that he realized was unfufilling and that he ends up hating. Social conventions restrict him from just quitting without and a (socially acceptable) good reason to do so, and a lifetime of being regarded as one of the smartest people in the room means he can not allow himself to fail. Unfortunately, this also means he can not admit when his actions or his ideas are wrong when it comes to his job.

(But he can show that uncertainty FOR Lucy, and TO Arthur and Van Helsing, which speaks his trust and love for them)

#dracula daily #jack seward #re: dracula #i think im rambling #but this kind of hit me #Jack's trapped in the asylum too in a way #only difference is his place of power allows him to take out that frustration on others #and i think it speaks VOLUMES that one of Jack's first entries was about how he regretted exacerbating Renfield just to study him #and as the sleepless nights and days filled of performing a job that he hates (and cannot bring himself to admit he hates) #as well as the depression from rejection #he stops feeling guilty

[janeaustengirl]

Why is it that we are told to fear the witches and not the men who burned them?

#book aesthetic #classical literature #dark academia #academia #books and reading #study aesthetic #chaotic academia #literature quotes #words #bookworm #tw depressing stuff #depressing shit #women #witch

[ehay]

The Spell of Last Resort.

#tissaia de vries #the witcher spoilers #the witcher #my art #3.06 #the spell of last resort #depressive fugue state but used productively for fighting off invaders #one alzur’s thunder coming right up #perspective was belated and trial and error #fan art #expanded expanded on today’s earlier study #tissaia trailing blood up the staircase #i loved that we finally got to see her sheer power

[charbies]

Linktober day 7 - sky island

#woof this took a minute #but it was a fun study nonetheless #not feeling super confident I’m gonna catch up and do 100% of prompts #I’m kinda mid-depressive episode and have 0 energy #but I’ll do what I cannnnn and not go crazy over it #linktober #linktober 2023 #link #totk #loz #loz fanart #legend of zelda #my art #charbies art tag

[cyberstudious]

wednesday, march 6th, 2024 ☀️

it feels like spring is here already and the warmer days make me so happy. as much as I like the cozy vibes, I was not built to be cold lol. this week has been really good so far and I feel like the future is bright. nothing like spring to bring out the optimist in me :')

today's self-care & productivity

had the most focused workday that I've had in what feels like forever

saw So Many birds on my lunchtime walk (and also these flowers!)

studied for ~2 hours and made some progress in the final challenge

ate fruit & veggies :)

#studyblr #studyspo #study inspo #study inspiration #studying #op #I have been in such a good mood this week! it feels so nice #I think I don't have seasonal depression and then spring arrives and it's like getting hit in the face with joy lmao

[okanra]

commercial break for the webcomic, say goodbye to your summer.

#truten #the unspoken webcomic #truten in high school au #dragon ball z #dbz #my comic #goten #trunks #do it for the love support and studies 👍 #like seriously im also an artist irl i really draw this for the studies #drawing this fan webcomic is both my happiness and depression lolol

[trainingdummyrabbit]

parents are really fascinating creatures. theyll watch this thing they brung into existence Stop eating Stop cleaning Stop going outside Stop doing much of anything Without being able to explain and theyll go Hm. Clearly This Thing Is A Spoiled Brat.

#like boss......read th room #like its really fascinating. would love to study it. but unfortunately ; #piktalk #every so often i think of that poem. or story. abt the little girl who was heavily depressed; #and her dad drove for hours through the night to get her almost out of season plums. because it might give her the hope to keep living. #because they wanted her to feel loved and safe and seen and heard. #i think about it sometimes. #anyway post cancelled once again thinking abt 'dad why do you have beef with me im 4 i love you'

[reasonsforhope]

This is maybe an odd thing to put on a good news/reasons for hope blog, but I've also had people tell me that they find this info really, genuinely comforting, so I'm putting it up. Also, further understanding could do a ton to advance medicine, esp. re: allergies, autoimmune diseases, and depression. You can read more about this at the link.

"More than half of your body is not human, say scientists.

Human cells make up only 43% of the body's total cell count. The rest are microscopic [co-contributors].

Understanding this hidden half of ourselves - our microbiome - is rapidly transforming understanding of diseases from allergy to Parkinson's.

The field is even asking questions of what it means to be "human" and is leading to new innovative treatments as a result.

"They are essential to your health," says Prof Ruth Ley, the director of the department of microbiome science at the Max Planck Institute, "your body isn't just you."

No matter how well you wash, nearly every nook and cranny of your body is covered in microscopic creatures.

This includes bacteria, viruses, fungi and archaea (organisms originally misclassified as bacteria). The greatest concentration of this microscopic life is in the dark murky depths of our oxygen-deprived bowels.

Prof Rob Knight, from University of California San Diego, told the BBC: "You're more microbe than you are human."

Originally it was thought our cells were outnumbered 10 to one.

"That's been refined much closer to one-to-one, so the current estimate is you're about 43% human if you're counting up all the cells," he says.

But genetically we're even more outgunned.

The human genome - the full set of genetic instructions for a human being - is made up of 20,000 instructions called genes.

But add all the genes in our microbiome together and the figure comes out between two and 20 million microbial genes.

Prof Sarkis Mazmanian, a microbiologist from Caltech, argues: "We don't have just one genome, the genes of our microbiome present essentially a second genome which augment the activity of our own.

"What makes us human is, in my opinion, the combination of our own DNA, plus the DNA of our gut microbes."

It would be naive to think we carry around so much microbial material without it interacting or having any effect on our bodies at all.

Science is rapidly uncovering the role the microbiome plays in digestion, regulating the immune system, protecting against disease and manufacturing vital vitamins.

Prof Knight said: "We're finding ways that these tiny creatures totally transform our health in ways we never imagined until recently."

It is a new way of thinking about the microbial world. To date, our relationship with microbes has largely been one of warfare.

-via BBC News, April 10, 2018

#cw germaphobia #germaphobia #bacteria #viruses #fungi #archaea #dna #genome #genetics #biology #human biology #public health #biodiversity #technically it is biodiversity! #increasingly we learn that your own body needs to be biodiverse to even form properly #some of the studies we have on this are literally kinda mindblowing #also microbiotics is the next huge frontier in treating depression and anxiety #(well they're tied for the next huge frontier with psychedelics probably) #good news #arguably lol #hope

[whatkindofnameisella]

girls when 2011 much ado about nothing production starring david tennant and catherine tate

#lichrally..................... god #not only a cure for depression but a study in the ways that visual/physical/delivery choices on stage can completely transform a parent #text #shakespeare #hearing catherine tate say oh that i were a man. i would eat his HEART in the marketplace. yeah that changed me forever i think. #emma 2020 levels of comfort rewatch <3333

[hekuuu]

#girls be like im not depressed and then go and draw a fanart in a orthodox christian paintings artstyle #anyway i wanted to do this little style study for a while #and i made a lot of stylistic changes so that it doesn't look too much like icons #good omens #good omens s2 #good omens fanart #aziraphale #crowley

[briebysabs]

When you realize VnC is not a story on how Noé will kill Vanitas but the story of how a man found the blue moon, despite it all, to be beautiful.

When Noé realizes his feelings, narrator Noé comes in like “I told you in the beginning this was the story of how I killed him. That wasn’t a lie. But perhaps I should phrase it differently. For this is the tale of the blue moon….the path we would walk. What we gained and what we lost. And amidst our journey…how this Vanitas….would steal my heart.”

#anime #manga #the case study of vanitas #les memoires de vanitas #jun mochizuki #vanitas no carte #vanoe #noe x vanitas #tumblr #vnc manga #vnc #noe archiviste #depression #HE IS SO IN LOVE I CANNOT

[seasonallydefective]

Something I cannot recommend enough: picking up a random skill/knowledge just because

Learn to use chopsticks.

Get your weird retro friend to teach you to drive stick.

Take a class in crystallography.

Download Duolingo just to learn Klingon.

Figure out how to contact juggle with fruit.

Maybe it comes in useful. Maybe it’s a fun party trick. Maybe it keeps the depression at bay just a little longer because it’s something to do.

Get out there and go learn something!

#learn to crochet just to make an otopus #honestly this is mostly about #depression #having random niche knowledge is fun #and the buy in can be as big or small as you like #I can use chopsticks #drive stick #I have a CDL class B #and certificates in native studies and geology #I learned to ride a unicycle over the course of a summer #but you can start small #if that’s easier #mental health #hobbies

[cravingstudyvalidation]

26/1/2024 (rough week, in desperate need of a hug)

yea so ladybird was right about that, been feeling very depressed for the past few months actually, nothing really makes me happy anymore. I swear I've been trying to find joy in the smallest things but it's been really hard. I have never talked about this before but I was diagnosed with su1c1dal depression a few years back, it was really bad but I did get better, some days worse than others and it started getting really bad the last few months. I don't have the drive to do anything, and studying has been especially hard but somehow I managed to pass my exams last term with decent grades and I've already got my term 3 exam timetable as well.........

there's really no other option other than to just keep going, I don't have time for breaks or shit bc like AS levels are just so far away yet so near and I have to start preparing for it srsly.

not really big on goals for this year, so here r the 2 goals that I want to or attempt to do this yr:

get over my fear of math(math was and still is my most feared sub and I think my fear of it is what makes me hate it and stops me from doing well in it, so I really wanna get over that fear this year, not completely but just get somewhat confident in it)

fix my sleep schedule, like get actually 7hrs of sleep every day and not just have a 3-4hr nap before waking up for skl

If you made it till here, thank u, ily and I hope u have a nice day xx.

#tw depression #tw sui talk #I still don't feel that comfortable talking abt my mental health here #but now that i've said it here it feels like smth has been lifted of my chest #I feel so exposed lol #I don't know if I'll be posted regularly or when I'll post #but i promise I'll try #study blog #studyblr #study hard #studyspo #study motivation #studying #student life #student #chaotic academia #mine

[i-am-a-fucking-nerd]

Oops, haven’t shared any other nights lol but here is my chanukiah (Hillel) next to my roommates (shammai)

#chanukkahproject #chanukah #chanukkah #hanukkah #hanukah #chanukahproject #my roommate did some study and she was like why do we follow Hillel and not shammai here when he makes so many good points abt the symbolism #of the holiday and I was like well the reason why is obvious. it’s depressing as hell to start out with all of the candles and have less #and less each night #so as a bit of a joke she does hers following shammai

[janeaustengirl]

#book aesthetic #classical literature #dark academia #academia #books and reading #study aesthetic #chaotic academia #literature quotes #words #bookworm #tw depressing stuff #depressing shit #truth #school