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lifewill-happen · 2 years

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I’m so tired of being in the background of everything.

My friends are walking down a path, I’m walking alone behind them cause there’s not enough space to fit everyone.

My friends are huddled and laughing at something on their phones, but there’s no room for me to squeeze in and see what they’re looking at.

My friends were talking about weekend plans as they discussed in the group chat and asked if I was joining them, but I wasn’t in the group chat so I had no idea anything was even happening.

My friends start talking about something and I ask “wait what happened?”, and there was just silence.

They’re not the worst of friends, not all of them at least. But sometimes I really can’t stand being near them and feeling bad for myself.

lifewill-happen

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depressingcartoonvillains · 2 days

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Politics, Culture, just living people playing with the tombstones of the dead.

#depressingmemes #depressingquotes

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masculine-pill · 1 year

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Scrolling through this page? You're already one step in the right direction! 🔥 Click The Link in my Bio and Take The Masculine Pill!💯 Follow @masculine.pill for daily masculine advice . . . . . . . #masculineenergy #woman #depressionquotes #mindsetquotes #aestheticquotes #depressedquotes #travelquotes #successfulquotes #motivationalquotesdaily #positivityquotes #leadershipquotes #loveyourselfquotes #strengthquotes #depressingquotes #beyourselfquotes #motivationquotesoftheday #everydayquotes #lifechangingquotes #inspirationalquotestoliveby #dreamquotes #enterpreneurquotes #patiencequotes #badboyquotes #encouragementquotes #hearttouchingquotes #karmaquotes #karma #newyork #newyorkcity https://www.instagram.com/p/CnhYFajrO8N/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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quotopedia101 · 2 years

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〜Unknown

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doyouneedeverfeeldepressed · 2 years

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= )

Dear Self,

Sorry for always breaking you for others

#~DepressingQuotes~

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uknownuseeeer · 9 months

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ever feel like no matter what you'll never be good enough? :'') what to do to get rid of that feeling !!...

#12amthoughts #depressingquotes #notgoodforanyone

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kristennicol · 2 years

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hurtingtruth · 2 years

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always

#anxious #anxienty #tw depressing stuff #tw intrusive thoughts #tw self destruction #tw #bpd #borderline #depression #bipolar #depressed #suicide #suicidal #depressingquotes

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what-is-the-point-01 · 2 years

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please.. erase my existance not like anyone will notice

#depression #depressing #kinda depressing #depressingquotes #manga #monochrome #not my stuff #mental illness #mentalhealth #trash #worthless #depressingthoughts #friendles #alone with my thoughts

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sparklysnaps-blog · 2 years

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being all positive 'n all. - GOOD TROUBLE

#sparklysnaps #goodtrouble #good trouble #carriefoster #thefosters #tvshows #tvseries #memes #quotes #funmemes #funquotes #depressingquotes #lifecoaching #empoweringquotes

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blood-quiet · 4 years

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I can't keep going anymore. I just want to feel how the life in me slowly fades away. Finally I'll find peace.

Me

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cloudyclaudia · 3 years

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April 23, 2021 Day 1

It’s my first day of journaling.

I'm doing this in hopes of feeling better. Maybe writing my thoughts down on a page will help make me and my mind be less cloudy. Technically its typing but its all the same to me.

Anyways its been rough.

There is so much to say and at the same time nothing at all to say about what I am going through. I don't like talking about my depression much especially to others who don't relate to my problems. My problems to others may seem minor but if it has taken complete control of my life than I believe its not as minor as others think. Maybe I care too much about what others think and that is why I don't open up? who fucking knows, I sure as hell don't.

I feel lost. Like I don't belong here. This isn't my first time feeling like this nor will it be my last, Ive felt this way my entire life. I don't know what I am doing, I don't know what I want to do, I don't know where I wanna go. All I know is that I have no motivation to do anything, to be anything. I don't feel anything. Emotionless.Numb.Lost. And just when I think I know what I want to do I end up scaring myself from doing whatever it is I do want to do and then I don't wanna do it anymore. Fear. I feel like I've been holding myself back from a great life because of fear. But what the fuck am I so afraid of? success? or failure? I have to stop the fear, but how? I want to be fearless. Once I become fearless I know I will be able to accomplish amazing things in this universe.

I feel sick. Sick of constantly letting myself down, but I can't stop doing it. I can't stop disappointing myself. I want to be the healthy, successful, organized and happy disciplined person I imagine myself to be but instead I am constantly skipping meals, emotionally eating, laying down in bed all day not moving an inch except for my thumbs gliding across my phone screen. Watching others obtain the life I wish for myself.

Its insane what depression can do.

Anger. Im pissed at myself for allowing it to go on for this long. Its been years. Years of not being ok. I am 24 years old and I am just as lost as I felt when I was 19. Time just keeps passing by but I have not changed a thing. Maybe my character is different and maybe I am more self aware than I was at 19. But I still feel 19. I am still lost. Career? Goals? I don't have any.

Relationships. Oh man is it hard. Once the honeymoon phase is over Im once again numb. Continuously being in the same cycle. My partner now has never really dealt with depression. And because of that a part of me resents him. Its not exactly jealousy because I am not jealous of the life he lives but I am jealous of his view of the world. Its so different from mine. I also resent him because he sees me like this every single day and doesn't say a word about it, he thinks its my normal behavior but its not normal. I shouldn't be spending endless hours in bed trying to distract myself from reality but I do and he doesn't say anything. He doesn't do anything he just lets me live in my own sorrow in my own self loathing and it feels shitty.

I know he is not responsible for me, I am well aware that I am in control of myself and he isn't and he isn't suppose to make me happy because happiness is a state of mind that only exists within myself but why doesn’t he care enough to want to help me? A part of me wants to compare him to others. Those who look up ways to help with depression in order to help their loved ones overcome it. They care enough, he doesn't and if he does he has a very shitty way of showing it.

I don't feel loved enough.

The other day he said to me “Hey babe, you’re beautiful.” We were laying in bed I was on my phone looking at meditation music. I was actually taken aback by his compliment because it had felt like months since Ive heard one. Crazy. After I thanked him, he then proceeded to say “Wow, I haven't said that in a long time huh?” to which I nodded. He whispered “Im sorry” and I nodded it off like it was nothing. Maybe I should of spoken up, but I didn't.

And that's day one in my cloudy thoughts. Maybe ill post a part two tonight maybe ill continue this tomorrow in Day 2. I just hope I don't disappoint myself again and become inconsistent like I do with everything else.

signing off, Claudia.

#journaling #journalingaesthetic #journal #depression #depressing quotes #depressingquotes #depressingpost #relationship #relationships #cloudy #cloudymind #life quotes #lifequotes #love #nolove #unloved #unlovable

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masculine-pill · 1 year

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Scrolling through this page? You're already one step in the right direction! 🔥 Click The Link in my Bio and Take The Masculine Pill!💯 Follow @masculine.pill for daily masculine advice . . . . . . . #masculineenergy #woman #depressionquotes #mindsetquotes #aestheticquotes #depressedquotes #travelquotes #successfulquotes #motivationalquotesdaily #positivityquotes #leadershipquotes #loveyourselfquotes #strengthquotes #depressingquotes #beyourselfquotes #motivationquotesoftheday #everydayquotes #lifechangingquotes #inspirationalquotestoliveby #dreamquotes #enterpreneurquotes #patiencequotes #badboyquotes #encouragementquotes #hearttouchingquotes #karmaquotes #karma #newyork #newyorkcity https://www.instagram.com/p/CnhRfMlL8nb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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quotopedia101 · 2 years

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〜William Chapman

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imjustoneteenagegirl · 5 years

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Someone kill me. I cant take this anymore

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lifewill-happen · 4 years

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I don’t want someone to ask me if I’m ok. I want someone to just hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright and that they’re there for me.

#love #latenightfeels #angry #relatablequotes #heartbreak #feels #sadquotes #2am thoughts #3am thoughts #camila cabello #hurt #understand #alone #imnotok #sad #depressingquotes #iamdepressed #anxiety

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