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alexandra-emerson · 1 year

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Wolfstar Spice

A/N: I’ve been toying around with the idea of writing a Wolfstar story set in my 14 Days universe. This is a smutty expert from the story I have in my head, and hopefully I can work up the nerve to write the whole thing one day.

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“Why are we arguing?!”

“Because it’s what we do!”

“Well, it’s fucking stupid!”

“Speaking of fucking, let’s skip to that. As fun as this is, that part is better.” Siruis winked.

Remus almost punched him.

This was just like him. He was so special. He was Sirius fucking Black and couldn’t be bothered to follow the proper order of things. It made Remus want to kiss him, then curse him.

He did neither. He balled his fists and walked away.

“Where are you going?”

Remus tore his bedroom door open so violently it swung out, released a tortured creak, then slammed closed. He swore and tried again.

“Where are you going, Moony? To hide in the bloody closet?”

“Fuck you,” he said as he walked into his room, trying to push the pain in his chest to the side.

Sirius caught his arm but Remus shook it off. “This is not a game to me!” Remus snarled. He couldn’t bring himself to turn around. He knew what he’d see. Sirius’s grey eyes would be wide, imploring and apologetic. And Remus wouldn’t be able to say no.

“It’s not a game to me either.”

Remus pushed out a long breath. “Are you sure? Isn’t everything a game to you? When have you ever taken something in your life seriously?”

Sirius inhaled sharply, then walked away, his steps light. He was always graceful, even when upset. Graceful, and irritating, and endearing, and, and… Sirius. There was no word for that delicate mix of confidence and vulnerability. The man was his own adjective. Remus would never be so complicated.

The door at the end of the hall closed. Remus sighed.

This was the problem with them. They knew exactly where to cut to draw the most blood. But why cut at all? There were couples like James and Lily who bared their souls to each other freely.

Remus and Sirius weren’t like that. But that didn’t mean they didn’t want access to the other’s innerworkings. So to get at them, they tore each other apart.

Remus crossed the hall and placed his hand on the doorknob, then just stood there, unmoving besides his shaking hand and racing heart.

He was at the edge of his control. Sirius brought that out of him. It was like the full moon was always just a few days away. Sometimes Remus could pretend that this was what he was chasing—the thrill, not the man.

Who was he fucking kidding? He was chasing the man. A man who deserved the world. And all Remus could give him was a pack of fags and a pint at a dodgy pub, and even then, only if he’d just been paid.

The thought drove him backward. But just before he turned away, the door opened.

“Did you want something?” Sirius asked. His whole countenance was a challenge, from crossed arms, to the way his hair fell across his face, to the glint in his eyes.

“No. I changed my mind.”

Sirius smirked, giving Remus the push he needed. Remus turned around, tears stinging his eyes. It was just a fucking game to Sirius, he reminded himself.

“Remus.”

Remus halted his retreat. Fuck. Why did he have to say his name like that?

Sirius’s fingers encircled his wrist, and Remus’s final shards of restraint dulled, then disappeared. In one swift movement, he had Sirius pinned to the wall, trapped in a violent kiss.

They finished their argument, biting and sucking, their embrace more a collision than a kiss. Then they apologized, tongues meeting lazily as they held each other close.

Their eyes met as they caught their breath, Sirius’s so clear, Remus could read his thoughts: You can have this. You can have me.

At moments like this, Remus could pretend this wasn’t Sirius choosing the worst thing for himself, precisely because it was the worst thing. He could pretend that this remarkable wizard could choose a shabby werewolf who couldn’t hold a job.

They fumbled with each other’s clothes. Belts clinked, shirts were pulled off, and the familiar spells were uttered. Sirius turned around, then Remus pressed into him.

Sirius groaned, and Remus stopped, just breathing in Sirius’s scent as he licked a line of sweat off his neck.

“You can move.”

Remus attacked with hard thrusts, drawing a whimper from Sirius, which just pushed him harder. Sirius didn’t like this part—though he denied it when asked—so Remus moved quickly.

He could see the way Sirius balled his fists, and the twisted expression he wore. No, he didn’t enjoy it. He tolerated it. For Remus. And the tender way he kissed Remus, a mocking contrast to Remus’s brutal thrusts, explained why.

Remus finished with a loud groan, then just stood there and held Sirius, relishing the feeling of his body relaxing in his arms as he pulled out. They moved to Sirius’s room in a tumble of soft kisses, murmured reassurances, and whispered spells.

Remus pushed Sirius onto the bed, then knelt down and began stroking him. He waited until Sirius was calling him a prick, and literally begging for it, before taking him in his mouth. But still, Remus held back. Now he was an even bigger prick, and Sirius was growling and fisting the sheets, but Remus ignored him, because he knew this was exactly how Sirius wanted it.

He went on for what felt like hours, until Sirius was reduced to a whisper of sighs and swears, his limbs shaking. Sirius finished with a gasp, and Remus’s eyes darted to his face, soaking in that satisfied smile.

There were always a few minutes when Remus allowed himself to stay. To climb onto the bed, and hold Sirius, and pretend this was something real.

But soon, it was time to leave.

“Remus.” Sirius had said it with the same tone he’d used in the hall. That bastard.

Remus pretended he hadn’t heard. He remembered who he was. What he was. But more importantly, what he wasn’t.

He left the room, wishing he were someone else.

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#remus x sirius #Sirius x Remus #wolfstar #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #Marauders #AU #hp fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic

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cedricslover · 3 years

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can you write a oneshot with wolfstars daughter dating george

Here you go bestie<33 thank u for requesting!!

As a wolfstar shipper and a George girl myself😌, I hope you like this bestie<33

Pairings: Sirius x Remus, George x Fem! Reader

Warnings: some homophobia at the beginning, teasing Sirius Black lmaooo

Word Count: 2.4k

“You want a future with me?”

“Hello dear” you turned around and saw one of your fathers, “Dad!” you jumped and hugged him, you just got off the Hogwarts express, this would be your last summer break since you’re going to be seventh year the next time you step at Hogwarts.

“How’s my baby girl?” He looked at you as you broke the hug, you smiled at the sight of him “Doing great, where’s dad?” you looked around while he picked up your trunk, “Here!” you heard the voice of your other father and your heart jumped out of joy when you saw him, you ran to him and hugged him too.

“Here’s a chocolate for our princess” he handed you a bar of chocolate, “Remus! You ruined my moment with her, you should show up at the exit, not here, you’re ruining my quality time with our daughter!” suddenly Sirius was having a tantrum, not likely a tantrum actually, he was just whining.

“No” Remus answered and looked away while he bit into his own chocolate bar. You laughed at them, “Stop acting like kids” you said and linked your arms to theirs.

“Excuse us?” They both said in unison and looked at you, their forehead creasing that made you laugh even more.

“You may” you nodded while closing your eyes and your parents just looked at each other, and it seemed like they were blaming the other one as to why you are so sarcastic.

“Let’s just go home” you dragged them by the arms since theirs are still linked to yours. You giggled as you saw Sirius not even struggling while carrying your trunk and at the same time being dragged by his daughter, and giggled even more when you saw your other dad who was just eating his chocolate quietly while observing the surroundings.

You three were just like a happy family, parents picking up their child that came from a boarding school, if it weren’t just the ugly looks the people gave you.

It seems like Sirius was also bothered by how people looked at the three of you, seriously? Can’t they just manage their own business.

Remus on the other hand was like used to it, he didn’t show any bothered expression, he didn't want to feed their satisfaction. That is something you got from him, that’s why you just let the people be, but of course, Sirius being Sirius.

He removed his arms from your link and grabbed Remus' face and took a bite from the chocolate that was centimeters away from his lips-being that he was eating it, your eyes widened registering how did that happen so fast, your jaw dropped, and a smile slowly formed in your lips as you saw Remus turning scarlet.

“Gross” you removed your arm that was around Remus’ and walked past them, your smile didn’t left your lips as you see mixed reactions from the crowd at the station, some were smiling, some were confused, some were probably uncomfortable, and of course, the people who were obvious to be insulted or disgusted.

Needless to say, Sirius is your father, so you flicked those people who looked openly disgusted by them, they were sneering, frowning, and rolling their eyes.

“Fuck off git” you mouthed as you walk, turning to them while your middle fingers were greeting them.

“Good job princess” Sirius laughed and high fived you as you three arrived at the front of number 12 Grimmauld Place, you weren’t sure what was the good job for, is it for flicking those people off or for successfully apparating, you decided to shrug it off and just viewed the house, it was your father’s ancestral home, it was filled by terrible memories of his childhood but with you three living there, it was all buried deep down.

You unconsciously stared at the beautiful house that was concealed in the muggles eyes. You felt nostalgic seeing your dads walking towards the door, memories from your childhood appeared in front of you.

A girl in a yellow flowy dress, around the age of four, was running towards two men with their arms open wide, expecting that the little girl would run to them instead of the other, but what they didn’t expect was the little girl would run straight to the space between them and both hug them from the necks.

The little girl was giggling while her dads were teary eyed, that’s when they realized, she never had favorites, if she had the choice to not choose, she wouldn’t.

“Y/N?” Remus called you from the doorstep, his head was cocking from the door. “Oh!” you ran to the door “call me before dinner yeah?” you told Remus as you removed your shoes. You raised your gaze to him with flashing eyes and maintained eye contact, waiting for his answer.

“Alright” he replied to you, you felt sudden joy not even sure why but it did make you kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks!, Love you dad!” you shouted as you ran towards the stairs,

“HOW ABOUT ME?!” you heard Sirius who was probably at the kitchen doing Merlin knows what, “I LOVE YOU TOO!” you yelled while you ran the stairway.

“YOU BETTER BE NOT PREGNANT WITH THAT WEASLEY BOY’S CHILD Y/N!” Remus’ voice echoed and you laughed and stopped from entering your room and peeked down while holding at the stair rails.

“DON’T WORRY, I’M NOT PREGNANT!” you shouted back and you heard his sigh of relief, “YET!” you added and sprinted to your room and closed the door.

You heard both of their voices shouting your name. You cackle while heading to your study table, your room was cozy, it was filled with different drawings you made when you were a child, there was your very first black leather jacket that Sirius gave you before he bought you a bicycle, it was hanging from a corner, properly displayed, he was expecting you to like motorbikes like he did, and you did, you like riding motorbikes.

There was also your very first hair accessories that Remus bought for you, hair pins, hair clips, headbands, and many more. He was the one who likes to tidy you up, even before you make yourself dirty by running and riding the bike. Of course Remus struggled but thankfully, Lily did teach him a few hairstyles when they were teenagers, and the rest of his knowledge came from going to different hair salons just to ask how to style his daughter’s hair.

An owl bumped on your window that made your brows raise and shift your head to that direction.

“Errol?” you said the name of the owl and he dropped a letter to your hand before he headed to your table and lay down, acting very exhausted, of course to your utter panic you immediately got water and placed it in front of him. You sighed as he drank through the container, enough for him to drink.

While he relaxed you opened the letter.

Hello beautiful,

I’ll arrive there at six, see you.

Your husband,

George

You bit your lower lip and smiled, then you forgot, you haven’t told your dads yet. Without wasting any time, you apparated to the kitchen.

“Hey” you voice lingered behind their backs and they jumped, they turned their heads to you with wide eyes, “You don’t do that here” Sirius said while holding his chest, “I almost had a heart attack” he glared at you while you just tried to not laugh,

“You’re just getting old dad” you stated that made him glare at you more, Remus smiled very very sweetly at you, trying to bribe you to not say it “and you too” you smiled back, looking at their sour faces.

“Enough” Remus raised both of his hands and shaked it, trying to shoo you. “I was about to say that George’s arriving at si-” you didn’t have the chance to finish your sentence when someone knocked at the door.

“I’ll get it” you announced, you three were quite tensed as to who might be at the door, you weren’t expecting visitors this early, it wasn't 6 o'clock yet.

You opened the door, ready to run back to the kitchen if something goes wrong, but what greeted who was something-or someone, who had a mischievous smile, his red hair shining because of the sun, and his brown eyes gleaming at you.

“Hello dove” his smile became wider as he caught the perfect view of his girlfriend, her Y/H/C hair complimenting her skin, the eyes that were obviously shocked to see him, and the smile that slowly formed on her soft lips.

“George!” you mentioned his name when you processed who was standing in front of you, he gave you a peck on the lips before he grabbed your waist and pushed you carefully to the side so he can walk, “hello Sirs” he cleared his throat and rubbed both of his hand on his pants before giving your fathers a hand shake.

This would probably be their very first ‘formal’ meeting, they already met each other at Hogwarts, during the Triwizard tournament, but that wasn’t formal enough, unlike now.

George was scratching the back of his neck and was being really nervous, you just surveyed them, and when you noticed something it was too late because your mouth opened before you can even think twice

“Dad, you’re the smallest” you told Sirius that made the three of them look at you, firstly George was shaking his head slightly, trying to tell you that it was not the right time, then Remus was also looking at you, he was trying his best to cross his brows but you can see the ghost of smile that was in his face, on the other hand, Sirius was there shooting daggers at you with his eyes like you’re not his child, then he slowly looked at Remus and George.

George was obviously the tallest, but only an inch taller than Remus, while Sirius, he’s just not a six footer.

“I-uh come George let’s prepare the table” even though it was still early, you reached for George’s hand, still feeling the stares of your father, you wanted to laugh, so hard, but he might not buy you your favorite cereal, so you chose to suck it up.

“Why’d you do that?” George started talking as you fetched his wand and used it to prepare the table using magic, “it was my mouth’s fault, anyway, you told me you're arriving at six, it's not six yet” you answered and watched the floating plates and utensils.

“I was trying my best not to laugh dove, please don’t do that again in front of your parents, I might lose goodie points, and I meant six minutes not six o'clock” he chuckled as he hugged you from the back, wrapping his arms around your waist and laying his chin on the top of your head.

“Even if you lose goodie points, I’ll still love you don’t worry” you faced him and cupped his face, his face that was always as perfect, those freckles that can make a constellation, his eyes that you would prefer to look at rather than the stars, and his hair that would always stand out.

It was like a magnetic pull, your faces was slowly getting nearer and nearer, almost there, the finish line, his lips onto yours, inches turned to an inch, heartbeats getting fast, and you can feel his breath, then his soft lips was supposed to be next

Not until someone cleared their throat that made you push George out of reflex.

“No snogging in this house, you understand that angel?” Sirius crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, “Yes dad” you replied, slightly embarrassed so you chose to continue to prepare the table while George can’t maintain eye contact with you or anyone in the room.

“Sorry dad” you walked to Sirius who was still in the entrance of the kitchen, surprisingly he smiled at you, “Yeah that’s for bullying me” he wrapped his arms over your shoulder “But about that almost kiss? I’m not mad don’t worry, we all kiss someone at some time” he added like it was just common sense for him to not get mad.

“I love you” you said out of the blue while you two watched Remus and George laughing at the dinner table, you rested your head on his chest, “I love you more princess” you felt him kiss the top of your head.

“Just walk with the boy outside while we clean here alright?” Remus looked at you and George, he tapped George’s shoulder before he turned his back to the both of you and be with Sirius who was still drinking wine at the table.

“Come on” George called you and touched your back to guide you, your eyes were still looking at your parents, mesmerized by their strong bond.

“Georgie?” you tried to get his attention while you two walked the dim lighted streets, only the flickering lamp posts and the moon were the sources of light.

“Hmm?” he was busy playing your hand, touching every bit of it, and even comparing it to his. “You think we would be like them?” you stopped on your tracks, feeling the night summer breeze brushing your skin, "Like who love?" He stared at you, now holding your hand firmly, "Sirius and Remus" you answered and tucked the few strands of hair that was bothering your face because of the wind, you looked at his eyes and saw amusement and adoration all over it.

“You��re asking me that?” a lopsided smile appeared on his face, you nodded slightly as an answer, “You’re thinking of marrying me?” he asked you again, now giving a full smile, you nodded again, “You," he pointed to you "want a future with me?” he pointed to himself, his eyes smiling the same as his lips, you nodded again, oblivious of how that made George’s inner monologues that was doubting what would happen with the both of you disappear, because who wouldn’t, you’re Y/N, raised by two amazing people, you’re beautiful, intelligent, bold, and many more that he would even consider you as perfect.

And you’re here, saying that you wanted a future with him.

Now, with the moon smiling at the both of you, the stars being your cheerleaders, your lips met, you hooked your arms around his neck while he cups your face with one hand and the other holding your waist.

At this night, two teenagers shared a kiss under a lamp post, during the summer of 1995.

#george weasley #george fabian weasley #george weasley fic #george weasley x reader #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #weasley twins #remus x sirius #dad Sirius #dad remus #wolfstar #lgbtq #harry potter boys

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fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

could you PLEASE write the fic where coops break the bed bc I would love to read how that went down

I'd love to! This is a reference to part three of this fic, and the prompt was combined with asks for another jealous Sirius and seeing Remus in his game day suit for the first time. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for smut (including blowjobs)

The lock slid home and Sirius’ knees hit the floor.

“Wh—okay,” Remus laughed as Sirius fumbled his belt open and yanked the zipper of his dress pants—fucking dress pants, is he trying to kill me?—as far as it could go without ripping straight down the middle. Slender fingers combed through his hair; some of the shock must have worn off, because he could feel a growing bulge under his cheek as he nuzzled the dip of Remus’ hipbone.

“Nobody looks at you like I do,” he said, licking a broad stripe up the front of Remus’ boxers. They were the nice kind, soft and tight—he wanted to tear them off.

Remus, for his part, looked both baffled and quite happy. “No, they do not,” he agreed, giving the back of Sirius’ hair a light tug. “And nobody looks as good as you down there.”

“You’re goddamn right they don’t.” Without further ado, Sirius pulled his dick out of his boxers and did his best to inhale it.

“Jesus fucking—” Remus’ hand slammed into the wall with a sharp gasp. His knee buckled, but Sirius gripped his thigh and pushed it against the wall. “Holy shit, baby, give me some warning.”

Sirius leaned back and let the tip slide out through his lips for just a moment, reveling in the slackjawed awe on Remus’ face. “No.”

“What did I do to deserve this?” Remus’ voice cracked as he thudded his head back against the wall and began lightly rolling his hips per Sirius’ request, huffing each time Sirius tightened his hold on his ass.

“Game suit,” Sirius managed as he slid off to bite the hollow between Remus’ hip and thigh, drawing a whimper from him. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, shouting mine, mine, mine with each pulse. “Game suit and those fucking fans.”

Remus’ chest heaved as he took him all the way to the base again, holding Sirius by the hair the way that always sent lightning down his spine. He spread his knees slightly on the floor and palmed himself through his pants without breaking pace. “Are you—ah—are you upset or happy? ‘cause this is great and I’m not complaining but—oh holy fuck.”

Warm, slightly sweaty palms shoved him away by the forehead. Sirius made a noise of protest that turned into a grumble when his mouth was finally empty, and he batted Remus’ hands away. “What?”

“Two seconds.” Remus’ pupils were dilated so far they almost hid the pretty amber that turned dark with lust. “You look so good down there, baby, but I’m gonna come and I’m really confused why.”

“I want to make you come,” Sirius explained, moving back towards him only to be guided away again. Obviously. “Remus!”

“What is the occasion?” he asked, a little desperate. “What did I do?”

Sirius sat back on his heels with an irritated exhale and held up three fingers. “You, in general. Game suit. Fans. May I please finish what I was doing.”

If possible, Remus looked even more lost. “The fans? What about the fans? Why do they entail an amazing blowjob?”

“Because.” Sirius pulled his pants down enough to suck a mark on the thickest muscle of Remus’ thigh. He was salty and sweet and perfect. “Because they were looking at you like they wanted to eat you, and that’s my job.”

“I—” Remus opened and closed his mouth twice, then leaned back against the wall with an aborted muss of his hair. “Yeah, okay. I kind of want to get you off too, though, ‘cause you look like sin on legs in that blazer and I would hate to waste it.”

Sirius Black, why did you commit yourself to someone so selfless. He took his mouth off the underside of Remus’ dick and hauled himself to his feet, wincing at the protests of his plane-tired muscles. “Then we’d better get upstairs.”

“Upstairs? But—” Remus’ eyes widened and a slow smile spread over his face and he pulled his pants back up. “Yeah, yeah, okay, yes, right now.”

“Right now,” Sirius confirmed, taking him by the wrist to hustle them both up to their bedroom. He gave Remus’ ass a solid smack before scooting around him to flop backward on the bed, tangling their legs together until he could wrap himself around Remus and kiss him like he deserved. Hard and sloppy and so dizzying Sirius had to catch his breath when they broke apart. “Now.”

“Huh?” Remus coughed, still ruffled and red-lipped.

Sirius took his face between his hands and felt Remus go weak on top of him. “Fuck me. Right now. I’m yours, and you’re mine, and you don’t do this with any of those people undressing you with their eyes today.”

I’m the one that’s going to be walking funny tomorrow, Sirius reminded himself as he expertly unbuttoned Remus’ shirt and shoved both that and the navy jacket off his golden shoulders. Not the moon-eyed women twirling their hair, not the chiseled men with their fucking smirks, not the people in the comments marveling at that pretty face. Me. Mine.

Remus made a funny sort of whimpering noise as he pushed Sirius’ shirt open and attached himself to his neck, biting and licking in equal measure as Sirius divested them both of their pants. He leaned back to catch his breath, but Sirius reeled him back in by the blue tie still around his neck and tangled his fingers in Remus’ tawny curls, crushing them together while he pushed his hips up for any friction and basked in Remus’ moans. Mine. Yours.

“Lube,” Remus said against his mouth, breathless. The temperature of the room had to be a hundred degrees, Sirius was sure of it; they were both sweating already, but he couldn’t let go of Remus for more than a second at a time. He needed the contact. Needed the feeling of drowning in his touch.

“Mine,” he said, nipping Remus’ bottom lip before letting him go enough that he could reach the nightstand.

“Yours,” Remus promised. He kept one hand splayed over the side of Sirius’ neck as they kissed; the other popped the cap off the lube and hoisted Sirius’ leg further to the side. “Ready?”

“Go.”

He threw his head back when two—two!—slick fingers pressed against him, opening him at the wonderful intersection between a snail’s pace and an uncomfortable sting. Remus moved his free hand down to hold Sirius’ hip; his weight pressed him into the mattress, and Sirius was sure that he would burn up at any moment.

“Yes,” he hissed through clenched teeth when Remus’ fingers found his prostate. His ears began to buzz as Remus rubbed the pads of his fingers over it in relentless circles, not pushing, just giving him enough friction to go mad with it.

Teeth skimmed his collarbone and Sirius shivered when wet lips trailed over his nipple. “Get on your stomach.”

“Wanna see you.”

“Sirius.” Remus’ hand wasn’t damp when he curled it around Sirius’ jaw and guided him to meet his eyes. “On your damn stomach.”

Sirius was not proud of the half-breath sound that escaped him, but he wasn’t ashamed either. He got on his damn stomach, and he did it with a smile. “What now?”

“Hold the headboard.”

He obliged and felt Remus run a hand down the curve of his spine before sliding two fingers back into him. Sirius arched, grinning at the waves of pleasure rolling through his stomach. “We don’t have games for two days,” he said, flipping his hair back to look at Remus over his shoulder.

Amber eyes roved up and down his body with an appreciative gleam before Remus pressed a kiss to the small of his back. “I know. Hold on, baby.”

A shiver ran through Sirius’ limbs; he flexed his fingers on the wood of the headboard and sighed when something much more blunt than a few fingers pushed inside him in a slow, continuous motion. “Tabarnak,” he muttered, mouth agape as Remus found his seat and pushed down even harder on his lower back. His spine was going to ache in the morning, and he didn’t care a bit.

“Why were you upset about the fans?” he asked with a slow roll of his hips that left Sirius shuddering. “You know I don’t pay attention to that.”

“Comment section,” he panted, gritting his teeth against a loud moan. “And I could hear them when you walked by.”

“What were they saying?”

“Everything.” Sirius’ thighs trembled on the hard thrust that followed. “Everything, everything—how good you looked. That suit, Remus, I can’t handle it.”

A beat of silence passed, save for the creaking of the bed beneath them. “Say it again.”

“You looked—”

“Not that,” Remus interrupted, sliding his hands along Sirius’ sides and back down his thighs. “You want me to be yours? Then say my name.”

“Remus,” he breathed.

“What was that?”

“Remus,” he repeated, a little louder. It came out as a whine and Remus bent down to bite the junction of his shoulder as he gripped the headboard with white knuckles.

“Again.”

The word was punctuated by a yank on Sirius’ hips paired with a thrust that sparked fireworks in his eyes. “Remus!” he almost shouted, half in shock.

“Atta boy.” Strong arms wound around his abdomen, pulling him impossibly closer to Remus’ front as he rocked in and out and stole Sirius’ breath from his lungs. Feather-soft lips traced from one shoulder to the middle of his back, leaving open-mouthed kisses in their wake that were cold against the flames in Sirius’ gut. His arms were already shaking.

“Remus,” he begged, though he didn’t even know what to ask for. He was so hard it almost hurt—spreading his exhausted knees to try and sink down onto the mattress did absolutely nothing to help him. “Remus.”

“No,” Remus ordered when he tried to take one hand off the headboard and stroke himself to relieve the pressure. Sirius let out something akin to a sob despite the distilled joy and pleasure running riot through him. “Headboard. Now.”

“I am.”

Remus’ breath was hot against his ear. “Don’t get bratty with me.”

Sirius had never come untouched before, but he wondered if it felt like this. Unfortunately, he was still painfully close to the edge and Remus insisted on dragging over his sweet spot every—fucking—time, so he was stuck in a horribly fantastic limbo that bent every cell to Remus’ will.

It was exactly what he had been after from the second the front door locked behind them.

“Come on, baby.” Remus made a low sound in his throat as Sirius clamped down around him at the nickname and upped his pace by a degree. “Come on, you can do it.”

“Quoi—what d’you want?” Sirius asked, dropping his chin to his chest with a moan.

Fingers wound into his hair and pulled his head up again, gentle but unyielding. There was never any pain when Remus was in charge, only the feeling of being entirely encompassed. It didn’t matter what position they were in—Sirius could be on the bottom, top, sideways, anywhere, and still feel cared for in every aspect.

“Fucking love you,” he mumbled, voice breaking as Remus’ hand slid through his hair to trail along his neck and wind around his chest.

He could feel the smile pressing into his shoulder blade as Remus left a mark there between world-shattering rolls of his hips. “Love you, too. You know you can come whenever, right?”

“Touch me.”

“Tell me three things and I will,” Remus all but purred into the arch of his neck. Sirius nodded frantically. “What color was I wearing today?”

“Blue,” he managed through clumsy lips. “Dark blue, ‘s perfect on you, oh.”

“Two: how many times have I worn that suit?”

Sirius stifled a moan in the crook of his elbow. “Once.”

“Last question.” Remus licked the salt from the crest of his shoulder and Sirius’ vision went for a moment; he gripped the headboard like it was his only anchor on earth. “Who is the only person in the world I will ever love like this?”

“Oh, fuck, me.”

A palm, broad and callused, wrapped around his shaft and gathered the precome that had been dripping onto the sheets for a glide so smooth Sirius thought he was dreaming. Then the world caught up to him at light speed and he was gone, tumbling over the edge with a shout and throwing his weight forward while Remus guided him through every ripple down his back as he reached his own peak.

Crack—crunch.

Sirius yelped as his knuckles hit the wall, pulling back on instinct despite the fact that he had nowhere to go but down. Remus cursed into his shoulder and they hit the pillows in a mess of limbs and sweat; Sirius pulled his hands to his chest as the smarting pain began to fade. “Ow,” he said, bewildered and pitiful.

“Oh, oh, oh.” Remus pulled out with a slight wince and carefully took his hands, pressing kisses over the reddened skin before horror overtook his face. “Did I—was that sound your hands?”

“No,” Sirius said quickly, kissing his flushed cheek. “It wasn’t me. I think…”

Remus blinked at him. “Did we…”

“That was the headboard.” A smile tugged the edges of his mouth until Sirius gave in and began to laugh, shifting back onto his stomach for a proper look. Sure enough, the wooden board at the top of their bed was both sideways and several inches further down the wall than it had been when they started their venture.

“Oh my god,” Remus spluttered, still laughing as he tried to pull it back into the right spot. “Jesus, this thing is heavy.”

“We broke the bed,” Sirius snickered. It was so beyond unbelievable that he couldn’t help it. “After all this time, it finally gave in. Mon dieu. I can’t…I don’t even know where to start.”

“We broke the headboard,” Remus corrected with a grin. “Well, you broke it.”

“If you try to pin this all on me—”

“I had you pinned pretty well a minute—”

“Remus John Lupin—”

They dissolved into laughter, bordering on hysteria as they fell back onto the sheets. The headboard groaned at the impact, setting off a whole new round with no hope of letting them catch their breath.

“So,” Remus managed once his lungs were functioning again. He quirked an eyebrow at Sirius with a troublemaker’s smirk. “The suit?”

“The suit,” Sirius huffed, shaking his head. “I thought I was going to die.”

“Now you know how I feel all the friggin’ time.”

He sighed through his nose and stared upside-down at the cracked wood. “We’ll need to replace that.”

“Mhmm. And never tell the guys about it, ever.”

Sirius ran a hand down his face. “They’d bring it up at our funerals.”

“Is there a way to get just the headboard? Do we need to buy a whole new frame?”

His jaw crackled as he yawned, wrapping both arms around Remus to drag him over for a snuggle. “Those questions can wait until tomorrow. Or at least after a nap.”

“How about a shower and a nap?”

“Definitely a shower,” Sirius agreed, burying his face in the bend of Remus’ neck. “After a nap.”

“Come on, cuddlebug,” Remus groaned, giving him a halfhearted pull. “You hate the feeling of cum on your legs.”

“I just broke a plank of wood with my bare hands,” Sirius mumbled into his soft skin. “I can handle a few extra minutes of cuddles.”

#sirius black #remus lupin #coops #sweater weather #vaincre #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #smut #headboard #game suit

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pinkteapotwriting · 3 years

Note

Hi! If your requests are open Could you maybe do a fluffy wolfstar x reader maybe where the reader got injured in quidditch and the boys are all worried and like take care of her- thank you

@sunny-bunnny @quindolyn @weasleyposts @bluemoonyblurbs @thotbutpurple

Wolfstar x Fem!reader

Summary: Fluff. You get injured and your boyfriends are quite concerned.

Warning: Nah, just some swearing.

Word count : 899

I did not proof read this haha sorry not sorry xXx

---

You were so close. Your broom was tilted down so far it could almost be considered vertical. The snitch was heading straight downwards and you knew if you could pull up at the last second your team would win. Adrenaline poured through your veins thick, like the tears the sharp wind brought out of your eyes. It was now a foot away, if you could just stretch far enough. A piercing shout from the stands would not distract you from your task.

You were so close.

“Y/N! LOOK OUT”

The bludger found it’s mark too fast, faster than the snitch, faster than the speed of which you hit the ground, but not as fast as Sirius and Remus rushing to your side.

“Don’t fucking touch her leave her alone. Y/N, Y/N please.”

“Sirius it’s okay she’ll be fine.”

People would've believed Remus to be calm if his hands weren’t shaking visibly.

“Alright, alright, clear out and give her space. James you go run ahead to Madam Pomfrey and let her know, I’ll take her to the hospital wing. Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin you come along, I know you wouldn’t listen anyway.”

Remus took Sirius’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze in an attempt to draw him away from his rapid breaths. They followed behind McGonagall, completely frustrated by the slow pace, but it’s not as if she could sprint while she trudged along using her magic to have you float in the air in front of her. It felt like ages until they reached their destination, but finally you were lying on a hospital bed. Madam Pomfrey gave the diagnosis to Professor McGonagall, and with every word she spoke Sirius’s fists mimicked his jaw and clenched tighter.

“All right you two boys, out.”

Remus attempted to reason with the iron will that was Poppy Pomfrey.

“Please can we stay? We want to make sure she’s okay. Be here if she needs anything.”

“What she needs is rest, and she’ll be here all night so my words are final, clear out!”

Remus grabbed a stunned Sirius by the hand and let him out.

“Come on Pads, let’s just get some sleep and first thing tomorrow we can go see her.”

“Moony, I can’t sleep unless she’s there with us.”

“You’re right, who am I kidding. Maybe Prongs will let us borrow the cloak.”

“Doesn’t matter whether he does or not, I’m going back as soon as that bit-”

“She’s just doing her job Sirius.”

“She’s doing a good job of pissing me off.”

“So you’re just mad she’s taking your job then huh.”

Remus snickered at the forceful shove thrown his way.

---

The pounding in your head could rival a wrecking ball. Your lids decided it was a better idea to be closed, but your chest kept rising quicker and quicker, because your body knew you weren’t where you were supposed to be. If you were in bed, then where was the feeling of the boys you so adored. More breath was leaving then coming in so finally you jolted, taking a huge intake of breath, but wincing at the sudden pain.

“Y/N darling it’s alright we’re here.”

You lied back down and looked through hooded eyes at where the voice had come from, smiling in that direction weakly.

“Hi.”

Remus grabbed your hand and rubbed soothing circles on the back of your hand.

“Hi, are you alright love?”

“M Hmm, m’fine.”

Sirius scoffed. “You’re not fine, fucking look at yourself. Baby you’re completely battered.”

“Sirius calm do-”

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down, what she did was reckless. Do you know how worried we were? How worried we are?”

Tears started to form in your water line.

“Siri, I’m sorry.”

He just sighed and moved to your face, kissing away the tears that were now falling freely.

“It’s alright baby shhh we got you. We’d just kind of like to keep you around yeah?”

Remus squeezed closer to Sirius to peck your cheek.

“Here love, look at all the flowers you have. See? And Lily enchanted these daisies to-”

“I love daisies!”

He smiled at your kiddish expression, you know the kind where you were grinning ear to ear, not a tooth out of sight? Yeah that one.

“I know you do love, she enchanted them so they change to whatever color you want.”

“Yellow! Wait no, Pink. Ah, green! I don’t know, I can’t choose.”

Sirius brushed the hair out of your face.

“Darling, it’s alright. It doesn't have to stay one color.”

The rest of your day was spent with them taking turns of who got to sit behind you, and much to Remus’s pleasure you had fallen asleep against him, which created a very irritated Sirius.

“Moony that’s not fair, it’s my turn.”

“Can’t help it. She fell asleep and you wouldn’t want to wake up poor, exhausted and injured Y/N would you?” That wouldn’t be very nice.”

“I swear to Godric I’m gonna-”

Whether you were awake or asleep no one could tell, all Sirius knew was suddenly his hand wasn’t empty as you filled his with your smaller one.

“Whatever Moony, you win this one.”

He pressed a kiss to your hand.

“Just means I get first dibs spooning her when she’s back with us.”

Remus kissed the back of your head.

“We’ll see about that.”

---

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black fluff #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fluff #wolfstar #wolfstar x reader #poly wolfstar #wolfstar fluff #fanfiction #fluff #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fluff

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academicdisasterfic · 2 years

Text

Letters in Transition, 12 February 2022

A collaborative correspondence between @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm and I, inspired by our encounters with fic as queer, trans boys. Letters, words and art exchanged at the start of an unrestrained life.

Previous entries can be found here.

In this letter I reference All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89, If the Fates Allow by Saras_Girl, 1.40am by @softlystarstruck, Modern Love by @tackytigerfic, and my own fic Seasick.

Dear Joy,

I love the idea that we would write to each other in our dreams. Perhaps there is a Dream Rooney and a Dream Joy, a little less sad and unburdened by reality than Real Life Us, and all they talk about are things like clouds and the smell of old books and chai lattes. Maybe they experience joy, rather than the promise of joy.

The fic that got me back into fandom was All the Young Dudes, and to my surprise, the character I related to most wasn’t the introverted, sarcastic Remus, or the impulsive, messy Sirius, or the righteous, loving Lily — it was James Potter. And I didn’t quite know why, because I am not particularly confident, or outgoing, or attractive. But then, during the War chapters, James gets hurt, and Remus thinks this:

Not James…How could there be a world without James Potter? You might as well picture a world without kindness, or laughter, or mischief.

And I realised that the reason I saw myself in this character was because in a work so defined by tragedy and loss, James always, always, maintained hope, and my hope has more or less been the only consistent part of me.

I used to resent my ability to hope. Without hope, I would have never transitioned, or left my relationship, or decided to move - I would have stayed exactly where I was, because I wouldn’t have believed something better existed for me. But I did, and so I had to change; it wasn’t even a choice. And I hated that. I hated that I knew, for a very long time, that what I had simply wasn’t enough, and would never be enough. I didn’t want to want more.

I didn’t think that I deserved to hope.

How do you believe you are worthy of desire, of yearning, of joy? How do you learn to give those things to yourself without judgement? How do you surrender to your heart?

I began to figure it out when Harry quit his job in If the Fates Allow, when Draco let Harry love him again in 1.40am, when they finally fuck in Modern Love and there’s nothing sacred about it, just this desperate, filthy, entirely human need.

I don’t apologise when I need to be alone anymore. I pause to watch the way milk swirls when I pour it into tea. I buy luxury vibrators. I pay for a monthly Mario Kart Gold subscription. I listen to nothing but Taylor Swift on my indulgently long walks. I take mental health days. I tell my friends I love them probably too much and too intensely. I stare at art, and I read smut at coffeeshops, and I sometimes take the long way home from work and sit on my favourite pier and watch cleaning videos on TikTok.

I create these little pockets of joy, and it’s often self-conscious and difficult and goes against every instinct I have to let myself experience pleasure, but I do it anyway, because I don’t want to leave behind a world that was sadder for my existence.

James’ optimism was misplaced; he died, his wife died, his friends were destroyed in the wake. But he was so happy while he was alive - so what does it matter that he was wrong?

I want to be like that. Who cares if it’s unrealistic or naive to be hopeful? Who cares if I never find what I’m looking for? I’d rather live my life that way than live a life in preemptive defeat.

Anyway, I would love to draw you something in return, but alas I have zero (0) artistic talent, so here is a picture of my favourite pier. It’s where I thought up the concept for Seasick.

I think I wanted to show you because your art makes me feel the same way as this pier does - that perhaps hoping isn't so ridiculous, after all.

All my love,

Rooney

#joy and rooney contra mundum

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woodolly · 3 years

Text

mommy

Wolfstar (Remus Lupin and Sirius Black) x reader

Dom! Sirius x Sub! Remus x Switch! Reader

Rated- E (explicit)

Words- 1180

Warning- SMUT (Remus has a very big mommy kink, Remus gives Sirius a blowjob, Face Sitting, Minor Bondage, Hand job, Vaginal sex), I did not proof read this

Summary- Remus just wants one on one time with you but Sirius keeps getting in the way causing Remus to lash back at him

It had been a while since you and Remus had one on one time together, being in a poly relationship with Sirius didn't leave much time for the two of you to be alone — either all of you were together or one of you was with Sirius.

It wasn't much of a secret that Remus was more loving and affectionate towards you, yes he loves the two of you equally (except when Sirius was being an asshole or giving him a harsh punishment, in that case, he loved you a bit more), but there was something about your touch that was more caring, gentle, and more loving than Sirius’s — also the fact that you didn't punish him often and would talk Sirius into not giving him as harsh punishment helped. A simpler way to describe Remus’s love for the two of you is that he wanted to be Sirius’s slut but he wanted to be your good boy. When Sirius called him a slut he blushed but when you did it he felt ashamed and disappointed in himself.

Remus loved being with Sirius but sometimes he just wanted to be with you his mommy and one of those times were now.

So here the two of you were a cute cuddle session turned into Remus whimpering beneath you as you rode him, bouncing up and down on his cock. Remus never had felt happier to get a good grade on his test as if it wasn't for that you wouldn't be riding him as a reward for being a good boy. One of his hands were on your waist holding onto you and the other was playing with your breast and nipples, tracing small patterns on them and occasionally pinching your nipple very softly, he would never pinch it enough to hurt you or even startle you — he was your good boy after all. The amount of pleasure you were giving him felt so good it almost made him cry, but he didn't he just whimpered a bunch of mommys, as you bounced quicker in his cock, his whole cock fit inside you so well, like he was made for you.

“My turn,” Remus’s happiness disappeared in an instant as he lifted his head slightly to lock eyes with Sirius as he walked over to the two of you, lifting you off Remus’s cock and on your back, quickly removing his pants and boxers to line his already hard cock to your wet pussy. Looking up at you for consent, you nod and he enters you causing both of you to moan loudly.

“NO!” Remus shouted, causing Sirius to stop instantly looking at the angry boy.

“I want MY mommy,” Remus began “You can’t take her away from me like that. It’s not fair you always have her, never get her to myself,” he complains. Sirius stared at him, anger appeared in his eyes, Remus gulps knowing he made a huge mistake talking back to one of his Doms. As you stare at Remus partly in shock and partly in pity.

“Excuse me?” Sirius states sternly, his hand reaches to grab his neck, Sirius’s cock still inside you.

“Do you think you can call the shots now?” Sirius asked, his hand gripping Remus's neck tighter but not enough to cause him any major pain.

“Yes,” Remus says a strange wave of courage took over him, gritting his teeth. Sirius's hand tightens more on Remus’s neck.

“Give me a fucking show then,” Sirius states, spitting on his face, “you’ll get your fucking mommy and she’ll fuck you until you're begging her to stop, you fucking slut” Remus whimpers as Sirius words. “Do you understand?” Sirius questioned, Remus not answering. “I asked you a fucking question,”

“Yes Sir” Remus grits through his teeth, Sirius slaps his face “Try again”

“I understand, Sir,” Remus says, not giving him an attitude this time.

Sirius slips out of you, giving you a quick kiss on the lips. He gets off the bed a drags a chair to be seated next to the bed.

“Do you remember your safe word, baby boy?” you ask Remus, he nods. “Can you say it for me, baby?”

“Red”

“Good Boy,” Remus smiles at your praise

“Tie him up” Sirius demands, you open the draw on your nightstand pulling out two black ropes. You rub his wrist gently before tying the rope around them and then tying them to the bedpost. Here Remus was again back in his sweet submissive state, his jealousy complete gone “Good girl” Sirius praises you, “Now make him cum just using your hands,”

You start off placing your thumb on his tip spreading his precum, instantly making Remus moan, “Be rough with our puppy” Sirius states, focusing on the tips of his cock, squeezing tightly, and whipping back and forth over his sensitive head. “Feels so good Mommy”

“Do her hands feel better than mine? Can your mommy please you better than I can?”

“Just different types of pleasure Sir,” Remus states, somehow still forming his sentences. You move to the base of his cock pumping up and down quickly.

“Mommy!” Remus shouts moaning, “can't hold it”

“Please let me cum! Pl- pleas- please”

“Cum for me” you give him permission, his seeds now painted on his chest. Sirius takes his fingers and takes his cum on his fingers, moving it to Remus’s lips. “Open,” Sirius states, Remus obeys him, tasting his cum in his mouth. “Suck” Remus sucks his cum off Sirius's fingers, Sirius almost thinks he should forgive him at how adorable he looked obeying him. almost.

You kiss the tip of Remus’s sensitive cock making him moan, “I think you need to pleasure your Mommy. She made you feel so good, don't you think she deserves it?” Sirius questioned him

“Yes, Mommy deserves all the pleasure.”

“Tell you what you can please your mommy but you have to get punished first or mommy doesn't get pleased at all but you get no punishment. Which one will it be?”

“What kind of punishment?”

“You’ll find out after you chose”

“I’ll take my punishment” Remus sighs sadly, looking at you with puppy dog eyes. You move to give Remus a sweet kiss.

“Just let me please mommy”

“Going to take your punishment first, baby boy” Sirius Staes, starting to untie Remus.

“Now get on your knees on the floor”

Remus moves to be in that exact position, on his knees his head right in front of Sirius’s hard cock. “I’m going to fuck your face pretty boy and then depending on how good you did ill decide the number of spankings you get”

“Open your pretty mouth for me” Remus obeys, the rest of his head remained still. Sirius began fucking his face, his hand going to Remus’s hair, tugging on it. Sirius began getting more rough Remus choked as his eyes started watering.

“Doing so good for him, baby” you praise him, Remus moves his right hand over to you, you immediately moved to hold it. Remus finally got his breathing under more control, glancing up to see Sirius’s pleasured expression, he gave Remus a smirk. Remus knew he shouldn’t have been enjoying this but he was.

“Going to cum down your throat,”

And with that he did and Remus swallowed it like the good boy he was. Remus let go of your hand once Sirius’s cock left his mouth.

“Tell you what pretty boy, I’ll hold off your other punishment until tomorrow, and maybe if your good you won't get it at all. But for now, go please your mommy she deserves it”

Remus nodded, letting out a “Thank you, Sir” and kissing Sirius on the cheek.

Remus laid down on the bed, waiting for you. You climb on top of him quickly, straddling his waist “You look so pretty for me and Siri baby” you start peppering kisses on his thighs. “I want to please you. Please let me” you raise your eyebrow. “What did you have in mind”

“Want you to sit on my face, mommy”

“Please, mommy? Pretty please?” he begs

“Going to make me cum on your tongue, like Sirius?” Remus nods his head quickly. “Look at our little cumslut, Sirius”

“So pretty” Sirius comments

You move to straddle his face, using the headboard so your weight is not completely on him. Remus starting eating out, you began grinding on his face, he was so eager to please, like it was his only goal in life.

When he moaned against your clit you reached down to tangle your hands into his soft hair, holding him in place. Remus took the hint, his tongue eagerly circled your clit

“You’re so good at this, you were made for this to please mommy. Such a little cumslut, letting me and Sirius use you like this,” Remus moaned, a familiar feeling rushing over you, causing you to grind down harder, Remus’s lips now covered in your arousal, as you continued to feel the pleasure building, getting closer and closer to a release each time. You tilt your hips, causing Remus to plunge his tongue deeper in you, completely ignoring the fact he needed air. He just had the desire to consume you. As his tongue explored you, your clit rubbed against his nose.

Moans escaped your mouth along with praise. Sirius still stood at the edge of the bed, watching everything.

Tugging harshly at his scalp, you moaned loudly as you let yourself go, moving out his name as you released. You continued riding out your highs, cum spilling all over his face as he clumsily ate out your cunt still.

“Did so good for me” Smiling softly.

You rolled off him, Sirius had left without the two of you noticing. But quickly he comes back with a damp washcloth. Sitting at the edge of the bed Sirius began cleaning you up (even though Remus already did a pretty good job with that with his tongue). He gave a sweet kiss before moving over to Remus and getting your leftover arousal off his face. Remus leaned up giving him a kiss, Sirius loved that he could taste both of you on his tongue.

“Alright, I want to be in the middle,” Sirius states

“But you're the do-” Remus began

“Can doms not be in the middle?”

Remus just smiled at him, “Of course they can,”

So here the night ended, you spooned Sirius as Sirius spooned Remus.

#wolfstar x reader #wolfstar #remus lupin smut #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius x y/n #siriusxremus #sirius black imagine #sirius black smut

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lyallblacklupin · 3 years

Text

My Truth about you.

Remus has a tendency to practice self-deprecation after full moon when he gets new scars. This time it is a big one on his face. He thinks that he looks hideous, but Sirius is there to tell him otherwise.

Remus smacks the book on the table so loudly that even students sitting at the ends of the table jerk from their seats.

The marauders are staring at him with hanging jaw and bulging eyes like hawks.

“You okay there, Moony?” James tentatively asks.

“Does it look like I’m okay?” Remus glares at him, aiming his index finger towards the bandaged wound on his cheek. It has been three days, and everyone is steering clear from Remus’ way. The last full moon was a disaster that mostly did damages to his face and neck. He hated facial injuries, not because they were difficult to heal but they made him look ugly—considering the fact, his boyfriend is ten times beautiful than he could possibly imagine himself to be.

The silence settles, tinged with discomfort. The marauders go back to their lunch before they are running to their classes. Throughout the whole day including the supper, Remus’ mood was at the same foul place. Sirius is trying hard not to step on his nerve that might trigger and eventually cause Remus to curse and boycott everyone and everything. Remus can see it but pretends it to be unacknowledged. He knows that Sirius is the only person he can be himself with, but not with the others because, James and Peter included, everyone is eyeing him with weird looks on their faces that mostly blooms one thing: fear.

They all go to their dorm, and begrudgingly Remus flops on the first bed. He remains there with his chest glued to the soft sheets, his face buried too, sniffing a strongly familiar scent. Before he processes the picture of the person in his head, a voice calls him out.

“Moony?” It is soft like the petals of a fresh white flower and silky like chocolate. He doesn’t open his eyes. He can feel that the exhaustion of the day is dumping out of him, dissipating into thin air.

“Moons?” This voice is much clearer but he doesn’t dare open his eyes again because there is something on his head, brushing his hair. He can picture it. Long, slender white fingers are spreading and fisting his golden curls.

And then, a kiss. On the temple. So gentle that he wanted to sink into its holiness. He groans with the felicity of experiencing such celestial intimacy.

“Wake up, Moons. Just for a moment then you can go back to sleep, love.”

Remus opens his eyes because this time he is shaken by the figure that is intoxicating him with their presence. And there he is. Grey eyes like silver orbs staring at him with such solace and the rippling dark hair are let down. The sight is scenic. Remus asks himself why didn’t he just look at his boyfriend the whole day. He know if he had, his day would’ve been spent much better. The regret is not strong but sweetly painful because Sirius Black is the foremost person in his life and being ignorant to his presence is nothing but ungratefulness.

“Sirius…” And he smiles. Sirius Black smiles his delicate smile which is only reserved for him. He hums in response. “What are you doing here?”

“The question is, my dear Moony, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean?”

“This is my bed.”

“So? This is my bed, too.”

“Okay, okay, this is your bed too, Mr. Grumpy.” He chuckles but Remus continues to glare at him, “What!? Okay at least get up and take off your school robes. I’ll lend you my pajamas.”

Remus doesn’t move from his position because he knows if he surrenders, he will lose the chance of Sirius undressing and caressing him. There is always something ethereal about Sirius’ touch. He touches Remus like he is made of delicate glass.

And then it starts happening, Sirius is getting him out his school robes and shoes. The moment is pure bliss and dreamy. Once Sirius was done, Remus looks up to witness him staring at his face with an intense yet unreadable expression. He reaches out to cup Remus’ cheek, and then suddenly Remus flinches away. He hasn’t forgotten it. The ugly feeling started assembling back to him, making him feel all blue and dejected instantly. Sirius has caught that look on his face.

“Hey, don’t…” He whispers.

“Why not!? I’m hideous!”

“You are not hideous! You’re not even close to hideous! You are very attractive and beautiful—“

“Stop! Just stop. I don’t want to hear this, Sirius.”

“Moony…why? Why do you think like that?”

“I-I never had a scar on my face…before it used to be like the tiny ones on my nose or jaws or my lip or eye or…dammit! Everywhere! They are everywhere!”

“Shh…” Sirius draw close to him and made him sit up. He laces his arms around Remus’ neck, forehead pressed together, breathing each other in.

“This one is the worst, Sirius…my life is the worst! I mean if I was meant to be cursed with this physical affliction, the least God could have done was to spare me with its brutality! I don’t just go through this physical pain, it is the mental pain too! Where I have to stand before this bitter truth that tells me that I have no future. No job, no living, no healthy relationships, fuck! No health at all! I can’t pursue my education because I’m not a human. I can’t have a family of my own. There’s nothing I can have that a normal person does.”

And then he feels lighter. His heart is not heavy anymore. But tears are streaming down his face, wetting his hands in his lap. The most remarkable thing is that Sirius is still breathing him in. They are in the same position. But he doesn’t look up to hold Sirius’ gaze. Sirius is quiet like an obedient cat.

Remus’ hands move, as if they are automatically functioning, and clutches the fabric of Sirius’ shirt on his chest. He still doesn’t meet his eyes. He just clings himself to him. His head resting on his shoulder, and Sirius holds him by his waist.

“I’m sorry.” Sirius whispers in his ear, “I’m sorry you have to go through all of this. I know you said that you don’t want to hear it but it's the truth and you deserve to know it. You are perfect to me. And I don’t think I can be more honest about that. Look, Moony,” He pulls away gently to meet Remus’ eyes.

“Do you care about others’ opinions about you?”

“No—“

“Do you care about our, me, James, Lily, and Peter’s opinion about you?”

Remus knows what answer Sirius expects, but today—at the moment—is Remus’ truth day, he cannot say things that he meant half-heartedly. The truth is and has always been this: He only cares about Sirius Black. It is a mad truth but it is what it is. He was mad. Madly in love with Sirius Black.

“Moony?” Sirius’ eyes narrow down on him skeptically.

“I care about what you think. I care about you, only. It’s strange and weird and insane but it is…it is my truth.” Remus has said it, and there is no turning back because Sirius is looking at him blankly. His face is flushing, his mouth is in a thin line. He presses harder. His lips become thinner, his jaws clenched and his nostrils flares slightly. It is not anger. Remus can tell. He knows him. More than he knows himself. He is trying not to cry but then there are tears floating in those eyes and then fell simultaneously. Then they are falling.

“I just…can’t see you like this…” Sirius says, and Remus knows he is struggling with his voice.

“I’m sorry—“

“Are you mad? No, you don’t have to say sorry, you idiot.” It makes Remus smile because they conversing in whispers and it feels so beautiful, “Of course, you can say all those things to me, you know vent out, don’t keep it inside you. I just…get you know, anxious. I want to make your pain easier for you. I know how much you suffer but I can’t feel exactly how you do. And it makes me feel indebted, I guess? I don’t know…I just want you to be happy.”

Remus tugs a lock of Sirius’ dark hair behind his ear. His index finger still lingering there.

“Remus,” Sirius continues, “I can’t promise to fix all of your problems, but I promise you that you will not be alone in dealing with them. I’m gonna be here as long as it takes, no matter what and how. I love you, you know that right?”

Remus nods at him, blinking away the tears. Sirius leans into Remus’ left and plants his lips on the cheek which has the long jagged scar. His lips are there for longer than they should have been. He is kissing the scar as if it is something sacred.

And just like that, he uses Remus’ position as leverage to make him fall on the bed. And Sirius lays his head on his chest as he grips his torso. Remus can smell the coconut shampoo from his hair.

“You’re beautiful. And that is my truth.”

Remus hears Sirius say before the sleep drifts so quickly by the aid of each other’s warmth and love.

#wolfstar #Wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar angst #WOLFSTAR FLUFF #hp marauders #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #remus x sirius #Sirius x Remus #Harry Potter #full moon #werewolf remus #angst with happy ending #remus loves sirius #sirius loves remus

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jamesloveslilies · 3 years

Text

Sirius loved drawing. He'd draw with anything at all. A quill, a pencil, a pen, a stick on the sand, anything. He always had a sketch book in his bag, and he used it almost every day.

At first, he drew flowers and trees, sometimes a squirrel he saw running down the street. Then he started to draw places. The view from his bedroom window, the library when everyone was studying and he had much more interesting things to do.

Then he decided to take a brave step and he started drawing people.

Firstly he drew Regulus, who even at the age of thirteen had such sharp angles it was easy to get his figures right. On the train to Hogwarts, he drew James trying (and miserably failing) to flirt with Lily. The smug on his face, his rosed cheeks when she rejected him (again), the way he liked to talk with his hands - who never seemed to stop moving.

As he got more and more comfortable with drawing people, he couldn't help from doing it all the time. At dinner, he found himself eating faster - or sometimes barely eating - so he could draw the Ravenclaws chatting as they ate their food, or Peter madly in love with whatever the dessert was.

If he didn't like the subject they were learning in class, or simply if he got bored, he'd draw his classmates' focused faces as they carefully listened to the professor and hurriedly scribbled it all down so they could study it later.

He drew the quidditch team a lot. He liked to watch their practices and draw each player doing their job. When the team found out, Sirius Black was made the official Gryffindor Poster Maker. Meaning it was now his job (payed by a few drinks each Hogsmead trip) to make posters and more creative flags to support the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He even painted a wall in their common room!

Obviously the Slytherins were too proud to even talk to him, but the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws asked him do something for their owns teams. Sirius refused, of course, Gryffindor by heart!

Sirius' drawing skills were so famous, McGonagall asked him to paint something for Halloween. When the big feast arrived everyone was amazed by the painting. Every brushstrokes was perfectly placed, creating a scary, horrendous (in the best way possible) portrayal of the same dinner hall they sat in, practically mirroring it. Except that instead of students there were only skeletons, wearing students' clothes and eating students' food and doing students' things. The atmosphere of the hall was also different, darker, creepier. You could practically make out the bits of blood on the painting, so realistic, something only Sirius Black could do.

To make it all worse - or better, depending on your point of view - the painting was placed on a empty side wall, so it looked exactly like a mirror, all the tiny skeletons warely watching the students, as if the students would hurt them.

Years later, when no one knew the Great Painter of Hogwarts, the teachers still hung the portrayal on Halloween, keeping the tradition alive.

The many girlfriends Sirius had as a teenager had a portrait of their own, or more than just one if they were lucky enough to last more than a week.

But there was one person who had more portraits than all of Sirius' girlfriends put together. Even if he didn't know it.

Every few pages you'd find a drawing of Remus Lupin in Sirius' sketch books. He never showed them to anyone, even if he didn't knew exactly why, they just felt more... personal.

There was a time in which all Sirius drew was Remus. In colors, in black and white, just Remus' face, Remus' whole body, Remus' golden curls, Remus' green eyes, Remus reading, Remus playing chess, Remus talking, remusremusremusremus-

He wasn't in love, of course. He just liked Remus' kind smile, and Remus' slightly crooked teeth, and Remus' scars on his arms and face and legs and pretty much his whole body. Sometimes he might, might, imagine how wonderful it must be to run your fingers through Remus' soft curls but no no no! , he wasn't in love. Love was for fools like James, not rock stars like Sirius.

But maybe, just maybe, his legs almost fell apart when Remus kissed him for the first time. And the second. And the third, and the fourth, and the twentieth time. And maybe they definitely did fell apart when they did a bit more than kissing.

He got to know every bit of Remus' skin. And each time he discovered a new scar, a new freckle, or just a bit of Remus he had only seen under clothes, he drew it. He now had drawings and drawings full of details he had never noticed. He drew every single of Remus' fingers, with a side discription of what each finger did to Sirius that he liked the most. He drew his arms, his back, his chest, his lips. He drew everything he could until it got too embarrassing to keep going.

Especially because now he didn't keep his drawings for himself. He made a habit of showing everything he drew to Remus, who for some reason never saw how truly gorgeous he was.

Then one day James found the “Moony Sketch Book” as Sirius had named it. And that was when James found out. And if James knew they couldn't let one Marauder out, so they told Peter. And somehow Lily already knew it all.

So now they needn't to hide, and Sirius could get caught drawing and stating at Remus without a trace of shame. He could hold his hand and play with his curls, and Remus could smile shyly and pretend he didn't love it.

He drew Remus so much to the point where he didn't even need to be looking at the boy to draw him perfectly, now that every detail of Remus was safely guarded in his mind.

He only drew himself once, because Remus had asked. It was for a long mission Remus would be attending. He said he wanted a piece of him to hold on to, more than a picture, something Remus could imagine Sirius' delicate fingers doing, always so carefully. That was the only self portrait Sirius ever drew. And it never left Remus' pocket.

Sirius always praised himself (and was praised by others) for having a great memory. Something the charming Dementors of Azkaban seemed to be so keen on showing him how wrong he was.

He tried to exercise it each day (not that he knew exactly when days passed or not), he played every Bowie song he knew in his mind, he thought about all of his best chess strategies (even if Peter always outsmarted him with his own), he thought of James and Lily's wedding vows, he thought of James' flirting techniques for god's sake!

And still, slowly, painfully slowly, things slipped away. He couldn't remember which brand of brooms was James' favourite, or Remus' favourite chocolate. Was it dark chocolate? Or milk chocolate? Definitely not white but which chocolate?

Then he forgot Lily's laugh and James' dimples and Remus' lips on his. He forgot and forgot and forgot until he doubted if he was still himself.

Still the boy who James welcomed into his home, still the boy who stole Lily's skirts until she bought him one of his own, still the boy who watched the birds with his brother, still the boy who Remus loved, still the boy who drew.

Because when he finally had a pencil in his hands again, he didn't know what to do with it.

#I should stop hurting myself with my own writing #But I won't #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #lily evans #peter pettigrew #marauders era #marauders headcanon #the marauders #wolfstar #remus x sirius #hp marauders #harry potter #minerva mcgonagall #regulus black

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embrassemoi · 3 years

Text

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 30

Pairings: Sirius B, F!Reader, Remus L Warnings: Language, angst, meeting new characters Important Question: do you guys prefer shorter or longer chapters? also, I listened to first love / late spring by Mitski for this ch if anyone else wants to listen along!

【 Masterlist | Previous Chapter | ao3 】

Chapter 30: Like a Tall Child

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Remus was alone for the trip back to King’s Cross; not wanting to be stuck with James or Peter who would only pester him. He mulled over his thoughts as his head rested against the window, watching the scenery whip by. But the more he had time to think, it caused more guilt to build; they were only trying to be supportive. They cared so much, still willing to associated with someone like… him. And all he did was push them away. He didn’t deserve real mates like them.

Remus tried to distract himself: knitting, drawing — reading next year’s material, but settled on pulling out his cartridge of cigarettes. About to light one, his attention was drawn to the soft knocking on the carriage door. Lily was there, waving before coming in.

“Hey,” she said, closing the door and sitting down. “I wanted to say bye for the summer.”

He exhaled, now itching for the rush of nicotine while Lily fidgeted in her seat. He already knew why she was there.

“Sev — Snape — came to me a couple days ago…”

It was impossible to escape, wasn’t it?

“They’re mad, his theories… He’s been telling me the entire year and kept going on about this one story… wild story of you and Y/N and the other Marauders…” Lily looked up nervously.

Instead of getting angry, Remus closed his eyes, feeling himself sink further into the cushions, centring his breathing. “What did he say?”

“He’s been telling me you’re a… a...”

“Werewolf?”

She froze at the word, having to take a deep inhale and suddenly looked paler than usual. Remus wanted to jump out of the moving train. “Yes,” she stated, “But I told him to bugger off.”

Lily stopped again, meeting his eyes. “So… It’s true?”

“You can’t tell anyone.”

Lily sat straight, leaning over and even putting a hand on her chest, close to her heart. “I’ll take it to the grave.”

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(Letters between Y/N and friends)

To my lovely Whiskers, I hope your summer has been grand so far. Are you sure you can’t spend time with me? It’s been so lonely. Prongs

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Dear Bambi, Unfortunately, I can’t. Mom’s dragging me to New York for the month. Something about being invited to do a special surgery. Said leaving me alone will do no good. I promise to bring you back a souvenir? How are things with Black? Whiskers

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My adoring, wonderful Whiskers, And it hasn’t. My parents are concerned. They’ve been trying to get me to talk about what happened but I can’t. Dumbledore and McGonagall have already started their punishments. He lost over 200 points for next year, got detention for half the year and he can’t try out for the Quidditch team if he wanted to. I wonder what they’ll do next. I love souvenirs! All things Muggle! Yours truly, Prongs/Bambi/James

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July 20th, 1976 Meet me in Times Square at 1 pm on the 8th. There’s a bench outside a bagel store, there’s no way you’ll miss it. Until next time, Matthew G.

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¡Hola! Greetings from Barcelona! My brothers took a few weeks off to spend time with me to come to Spain with my parents! They’re dragging me to a football game later. I heard they call it ‘soccer’ in North America. M. McKinnon

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Y/N L/N, Hello, I hope you’re having a wonderful break. Your letters are the highlight of my day and they keep me busy. So I hate to inform you that you need to stop sending me letters for now. I’m not supposed to be getting any and my parents are going to start confiscating them if I receive any more. I’m sorry. I can’t wait to see you in the fall. R.A.B

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I’m visiting Tuney with my parents in a few days. She moved to London for a clerical job in March and we’re meeting her boyfriend, Vernon! He sounds nice but she’s told me she’s nervous about me and magic around him. Lily

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Petals! I’m sure you’ll be fine! Who couldn't love you? Write back and tell me what happens!

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Whiskers, I’m with my parents up in Wales in their cottage. I was born there before having to move for my Dad’s work. Also, I think I have to get a rabbit. James always told people that I got my scars from a poorly behaved rabbit and if I’m not seen with one soon, people will start to question. Remus

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Does this mean I get to call you Moony now? Professor Moony? Wales? And that’s where that small accent comes from. It bleeds through when you’re concentrating or relaxing. And a rabbit? At least they’re cute! I’m sure you can just Transfigure a book though. Y/N

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Professor Moony? Haha, okay! And really? I never knew. I’m kind of embarrassed now. I’ve thought about that but at this point, I think it would be easier just to have one.

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Oh no! It’s nice! Gives you personality. I think it suits you well How about… Moody Moony near full moons? And Moody Moony Mondays on Mondays.

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Now you’ve gone too far. Bloody fucking Moody Moony? Have you ever heard of Mad-Eye Moody?

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Would you prefer 'my Moony' then?

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Yes, actually.

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August 6th, 1976

“Hurry up!”

She thudded down from the top of the staircase, dragging her trunk behind while her mother sped out of the terminal door, flagging down one of the zipping yellow taxis with her luggage in hand.

It was strange, being with her mother again after almost a year apart. She hadn’t come to King’s Cross again, instead sending her a bus fare in anticipation of school ending. She hoped for some sort of recognition, any kind of sign that she was missed but was only given a side-armed hug and delved back into work.

Y/N wondered if maybe she just didn’t want her there, hoping she would get lost and never come back. She only had been on a bus in London twice, therefore almost ensuring that she would get lost and would have stayed lost if she didn’t have extra spare change to use a payphone.

Ignoring the crackle of whispers as she strode to the cab, people blatantly stared at her unnatural coloured hair, as she entered the car, slamming the door shut.

“Where ya ladies off too?” Said the driver, pulling out a map from their car door.

“Cranberry Street, Brooklyn Heights.”

It was a quiet drive, aside from the driver drumming their fingers on the steering wheel at the sound of the Bee Gees blasting in the background. She watched other cabs whipping back and forth, people going on with their days, the dirty streets and building under construction.

“Hey, mom?” She asked, reasoning now was a good time to talk about her OWL results. She’d gotten them mere seconds before leaving their house back in London and she’d been putting off looking at the results until now.

She only grunted, flicking through one of her medical journals, jotting down notes. “I don’t have time right now.”

Y/N sighed, that familiar sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach expanded again. “It’s kind of important.”

“Not now.” She waved her hand and ended the conversation.

Thirty minutes later, the cab came to a stop as they grabbed their luggage and strolled up to the brownstone building they were renting for the month.

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Jet lag got to her as she unwinded lounged until finally getting up from bed that morning as her mom rushed around the house. She frantically was putting on shoes, dressed impeccably sharp, no doubt in hopes to make an impression as her eyes flew across her journal. Her feet were scrambling to the door as she flung her bag over her shoulder.

“Have a good d —” And then the door slammed shut.

She stared blankly at the door for a while and then turned around, getting ready for her day. A daint drum of excitement yet nervousness built up, pushing aside that sinking feeling. Today she was going to see Matthew again.

Having a few hours to spare, Y/N walked around, marvelling at the tall buildings and lights before heading into the heart of Time Square, immediately spotting the bench outside the bagel shop. She sat, waiting for him anxiously. She made sure to wear a hat, covering any sight of hair to avoid weird stares and chatter.

But then a few minutes turned into ten and then twenty minutes later.

Slipping out the letter again to make sure, she re-read it. Time Square, at one, today… near the bagel shop…

“Where y’at?”

Her head lifted as she jumped to her feet and pulled each other into a tight hug.

“Matthew!”

His face nuzzled into the side of her neck, arms wrapped around tight as her face pressed gently into his chest. Eventually, she pulled away - arms outstretched to get a good look.

Matthew Gaplin looked different. His hair, coarse and thick, had grown. He was taller, filled out more, tan skin became even tanner from the beating sun and he filled out.

His smile was large. “S’been so long.”

She gave him a small whack!

“Ow!” He jumped back, “What’s wrong wiv ya?”

“I thought you stood me up.”

“Sorry, doing something for Mom. Had to wait on line forever.”

He looked down bashfully, now staring at the hat. His face made a disgusted look. “It’s disgusting out. Why are you wearing —” Curiously lifting the hat, his lids widened astronomically as Y/N grabbed it, covering her wild hair.

“I told you,” she hissed.

“Right the Potter sport!” He gave a full-body laugh. “Oh come on, I wanna see it again!”

But her hand clamped down on that hat to prevent him from pulling it off. “No! The Muggles keep judging —“

“Muggles?” Matthew’s brows furrowed. “The fuck is a Muggle? Sounds… demeaning.”

“Sorry, it’s what they call No-Majs.”

“Ahh,” and then he moved to loop an arm around her shoulders and continued to walk. “Too good to use ol’American terms?”

“Turned British snob.”

They laughed loudly as he took charge, showing her around the city. There was something so calming amid the chaos of New York. The bustle, low chatter and his enthusiasm made it all the better.

Soon enough, after hours of walking around, they both came to a stop in a large park as they grew hungry. Matthew disappeared for a while, leaving her alone to lay down on the soft grass before returning, holding up a brown bag with two drinks.

“Got us bagels wiv schmear.”

She mumbled out a thanks and took it from him as he sat down on the grass beside her.

“Missed ya, really.”

She shoved him playfully, his head dropping bashfully. “Shut up.”

It stayed quiet for a bit, as they listened to the birds chirping until he broke the silence again. “Ya thinkin’ ‘bout moving back eventually, right?”

“Why?”

Matthew gave her a haughty look, contemplating his words carefully. “Do ya… not know? They’re losing the war.”

Momentary terror gripped her heart but she swallowed it down fast. “Matthew,” her voice dropped, “Please, I want a fun summer… can we not talk about the war? I have more than enough time to worry later."

He wanted to keep talking, worried for his good friend but he refrained, biting down on his lip and nodded stiffly.

“So…” he thought to himself, contemplating how to change the direction of their conversation and fast. “Fess up, what’s been goin’ on over there.”

“Huh?”

“You’re telling me you haven't — what is it called? Kissing?”

“Snogging?”

He smiled. “You’re telling me you haven’t snogged anyone of those rich Old-Majs yet?”

“Nope!” She spoke too quickly and voice was a little too high.

“Liar. Ya going tell me who then?” Y/N looked down, hand going to fiddle with the fem of her clothes while Matthew shook her. “Come on! Tell me!”

“Fine! His name is Sirius Black.”

Matthew's eyes widened in recognition as he sat upright. “You don’t mean the Black family? Gawd! No way!”

“What?”

“And ya don’t even know!” Matthew was full of amusement. “They’re one of the oldest wizarding families out there! Are you still wiv him?”

Y/N stopped, trying to conceal a chuckle. She didn’t have it in her to lie anymore. “No! He almost got me killed.”

“Ha. Ha, very clever. Fine, don’t tell me.”

“You? Anything exciting?”

Matthew snorted. “Fought over a fin if that counts as exciting.”

“You know that’s not what I'm talking about,” she teased.

He abruptly became very serious and it had Y/N sitting up straighter. Matthew breathed in, this time not looking at her but instead at his metal pop can. “I’ve… had a tumble wiv a few... didn’t matter their… genders.”

It took a second for his words to click in but when it did, her mouth fell open and saw his face fall as she pulled him into a tight hug. “I don’t care who you cop, just be safe and have fun.”

He mumbled into her shoulder. “Been rehearsing that since I knew you were visitin’.”

“Love ya, could never judge you.” He tried to look insulted from the babying but prickled with tears before wiping them away quickly.

“Bless ya!”

“You alright though?”

“Now that I know your reaction, never betta. Now, you talk, enough ‘bout me.”

After making sure he was okay, Y/N prattled about Hogwarts. Matthew would pop in a few times, asking her to clarify or ask what words the British used — he often called her his ‘British insight.’ She rambled much about her day, her new friends but made sure to leave out a few details. Matthew became peculiarly silent through most of her speech. It wasn’t like him to not try to speak up, but he looked at her with something she’d only seen a few times prior.

Matthew stared at her for a long time, analyzing with underlying adoration. “What did them Brits do to ya?”

She looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Ya sound different.” He says calmly, going to sip on his pop. “Talk funny.”

“Tawk funny,” she mocked and earned a shove. “Different? How so?”

“Everything ‘bout you seems different. Y’look happier,” he smiles, although there was a twinge of hurt. “Talk softer, look different — move differently and ya voice sounds different… but the same.”

She takes a bit of her food. “I hope that isn’t a bad thing.”

Matthew smiles gently, sheepish but there. “Not at all.”

She smiled back. Matthew always knew how to make her smile and it felt good, normal.

“Happy looks good on ya.”

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She finally sat down, tired from the long day she spent wandering the city. But it wasn’t long until a tapping sound came from the window. Celeste was there, waiting with a letter in her beak. She walked up to her, letting her fly inside and opened the letter.

Got my OWL results. Outstanding in Astronomy, DADA, Charms, Transfigs. Exceeds Expectations in everything else but an Acceptable in Potions. Moony

She re-read that last part. Remus getting Acceptable in Potions? Her attention travelled to the stark white envelope peeking out from the side pocket of her carry-on. She marched up to it, ripping it open and scanned the paper.

Outstanding in Transfiguration, Potions and Herbology, Arithmancy. Exceeds Expectations in everything else except Poor in History of Magic. She cringed at that.

She immediately got up from her seat. Rushing over to the master bedroom, peeking her head in. “Mom?” She said quietly, “Can I talk to you.”

“Didn’t I tell you I was busy?” Her voice cut through. “It’s not the time to be a nuisance.”

A scorching feeling of anger thrummed through her but kept her voice low and steady. “That was a few days ago.”

"My answer didn't change."

Any semblance of calm vanished. “It’s about my OWLs. My future. I need some sort of guidance.”

“I wouldn’t understand them,” she sighed and peered up. There was an odd expression, borderlining on confusion and something else. “It’s not the same. I’m not a… witch like you are. I don’t know how to help you.”

“I’ll make it into No-Maj terms?” Y/N’s voice was tight and came rushing over to where she sat on the couch. And laid out her examination results. “Look, an O is the same as getting an A! It’s the highest grade you can get. And here,” she pointed, “My teacher, Professor Slughorn, invites me to parties because of my work in Potions class. I’m one of his top students.”

She glanced at her mom excitedly but was met with a look of annoyance and slight judgement. But she continued, “A-and in Herbology I'm doing excellent too! I was becoming interested in becoming a Healer. I told you in my letters. It’s similar to being —”

“I’m sorry,” her mother said but it didn’t have any trace of guilt or sorrow, “I’m busy and you’re getting in the way of work — my achievements — that you know are important.”

“Are mine not important?”

A thick, profound silence filled the space between them. Everything about the connotation had her averting her body, feeling the sinking in her chest explode. From the war, traumatic near death experience and her mother's constant aloof nature, it was her cracking point.

Snatching the OWLs results, she walked out the door, shutting it gently before diving into her room; throwing the covers over her head.

All the New-Maj and No-Maj children were told stories of the Boogeyman. To Y/N, it felt comparable to reverting to a small child as she tucked herself into a tight ball. She recalled watching all the other children running up their parents, being roped with large hugs and smiles, surrounded with infinite quantities of love as they left the school playground. She remembered being envious, wanting to have two parents as the images of the Boogeyman drew near.

There was an overwhelming sense to scream — to cry out for guidance as the knot in her stomach grew. Instead of her mother coming to her rescue — to reassure, to give any sense of security or safety while other parents would scare off the Boogeyman or monsters ready to nip at their children’s toes under the bed, Y/N was left in the dark as all sense of relief or love vanished. It left her vulnerable, exposed to the monsters lurking in the dark.

Her mother may have not been physically absent but it sure felt like it.

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【 Next Chapter 】

Slang dictionary:

Fin = $5 / five dollar bill Bagels with schmear = bagels with cream cheese Wait on line = the same as 'Wait in line' Pop = Canadian slang for soda / soft drinks Sport / old sport = (depending on the context) a term of endearment similar to buddy, pal, friend

112 notes · View notes

engie-ivy · 3 years

Text

Receiving a love confession from Sirius Black is probably the dream of almost every student at Hogwarts. Remus just whishes Sirius would move on, but you should be careful what you wish for...

Don't worry, it's a short, fluffy Wolfstar get-together. Lily knows about Remus’ Furry Little Problem in this.

How do you feel about Sirius Black?

“I swear to Merlin, if Gina Simmons looks at me like that one more time, I’m gonna give her something to be mad about,” Lily grumbles, her eyes flaming with anger.

Gina Simmons, who had been glaring in their direction, quickly turns her head as Remus looks over his shoulder. She whispers something to Beth Walker and Davey Martens, who both glare at Lily and Remus as well.

Remus sighs. “Is it always like this?”

Lily’s expression softens. “It gets less,” she says. “But there’s this persistent group that just can’t get over it. This morning, I heard Rosemary Rowle call me ‘an entitled bitch who thinks she’s too good for James Potter’. Rosemary Rowle! The girl who can’t finish a sentence without mentioning her ‘daddy, who has such an important job at the Ministry’ calling me entitled!” The angry expression is back and she clenches her quill so hard Remus worries she’s gonna break the thing.

Remus frowns. “I overheard Randall Thorne ask Jules Flemming whether he reckoned I thought I could do better, and during Potions Kirsten Pembroke threw a vial of Armadillo bile over me!”

Lily winces. “I’m sorry. I should’ve warned you to stay away from Kirsten Pembroke if she has throwable substances within reach.”

“I just don’t understand what their problem is,” Remus mutters.

Lily smiles ruefully. “You’re now officially part of the club of people who have committed the atrocious crime of rejecting the school’s most popular and beloved students, Potter and Black. With you joining, our member count is now a total of two.”

“But that’s the thing! I rejected him,” Remus says. “Nothing’s changed. They can go on writing Mrs or Mr Black on their notebooks for all I care.”

“Oh Remus,” Lily sighs wistfully. “To be so naive. I’ve rejected Potter about fifteen times now, and they still won’t forgive me for him apparently choosing me over them. Of course, in my case it doesn’t help that Potter still refers to himself as the future Mr Evans,” Lily adds with a grimace.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” Remus says, shaking his head. “They should be thankful I don’t return his feelings!”

“Well, first of all, you saying no to Black doesn’t chance the fact that he’s head over heels in love with you. Not immediately, at least. So he’s still just as unavailable to them. And more importantly, in their eyes you were given the greatest gift that can be bestowed upon a man or woman: a full-blown love confession by Sirius Black.” Lily rolls her eyes while speaking. “And the fact that you didn’t even appreciate it, just makes it worse.”

“I never asked for-”

“I know, Remus, I know. I’m just explaining how they see it. You and I are the horrible people who had the audacity to break their heartthrobs Potter and Black’s hearts.”

Remus groans. “I whish Sirius would see how ridiculous it is for him to be in love with someone like me.”

“Remus,” Lily says in a dangerous tone.

Remus ignores her. “I whish he’d just move on. I whish he’d date someone else, so they’ll have no reason to pester me anymore!”

Remus is writing his essay. Frantically. Or rather, furiously. Pressing hard on his quill while scribbling in angry, fast strokes, a pile of broken quills already forming next to his parchment.

“Did that essay murder your family?” Lily asks, as she sits down in front of Remus. “I honestly thought you’d be in a good mood.”

Remus looks up at her, a sulky expression on his face. “So you’ve heard?”

“Heard?” Lily asks. “I’ve orchestrated the whole thing!”

Remus gives her a confused look, so Lily elaborates.

“After our last conversation, I went up to Black and I just told him ‘oi, the whole school knows about your unrequited love for Remus, and some twats are giving him a really hard time about it, so if you could just take someone on a date to Hogsmeade this Saturday so they’ll stop pestering Remus, that’ll be great’. And he agreed!”

Remus just blinks at her.

Lily frowns. “That’s what you wanted, right?”

“Yes!” Remus says a little too quickly. “I just... don’t get why he’d ask Alyssa MacMillan. She’s rather dull, don’t you think?”

Lily shrugs. “She’s nice enough, but more importantly, she thinks Black is fit and would love to go out with him, but she’s got no real feelings for him and isn’t looking for a relationship, so she won’t mind just drawing people’s attention away from you, or draw his attention away from you, for that matter.”

“Right,” Remus says. “Guess I just didn’t think she’s his type, is all.”

“Who knows,” Lily smiles mischievously. “It could become some kind of Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers scenario, and they might fall in love for real! Then your problem is solved for good.”

Remus looks at her like she just told him puppies have gone extinct.

“Merlin, Remus. What is it? Is this some kind of ‘I don’t want him, but I don’t want anybody else to have him either’ thing? Because that’s really shitty!”

“No,” Remus says defensively. “No, that’s not it. I just think Sirius can do better than Alyssa MacMillan, but if that’s what he likes, than good for him.”

“Oh, for Godric’s sake, you’re jealous!”

“No, I’m not! Or at least, I don’t think I am. Am I?”

Lily folds her arms over her chest and stares at Remus intently. “Remus Lupin, do you have feelings for Sirius Black?”

“I... I don’t know,” Remus looks quite miserable. “I mean, I’ve never thought about it.”

“Never thought about it?” Lily exclaims. “How do you mean, never thought about it? Do you remember that evening when Black took you out on a moonlit walk by the Great Lake, and poured his heart out to you, saying how he’s been crazy in love with you since the beginning of fifth year, and asked if you wanted to go on a date with him, to which you answered no? That would’ve been the moment to think about it!”

“It’s just...” Remus anxiously runs a hand through his hair. “With my condition, romantic relationships simply are not an option. I always saw romance as one part of being a teenager I didn’t have to concern myself with. I guess I just started to automatically ignore all thoughts and feelings related to romantic relationships. When Sirius made that confession, I was shocked, and the only thing I could think was ‘no, he can’t, he shouldn’t. I don’t do romance. I have to put an end to this immediately’. I never considered my own feelings. I mean, why would I?”

“Well, that’s a load of crap,” Lily scolds.

Remus opens his mouth to protest, but Lily cuts off whatever he was going to say.

“Not that you thought all of that, I believe you did, but that you can’t have romantic relationships with your condition is nonsense.”

“It’s never been done,” Remus argues.

“If no one ever did anything that’s never been done, we’d still be living in caves,” Lily firmly replies.

Remus fiddles with the hem of his sweater. “You really think it’s possible?”

“I don’t think it’s possible, I know it’s possible. So now we have established that, how do you feel about Sirius Black?”

“I’ve never thought-”

“Well, think about it now!”

“I don’t know,” Remus says, staring at the table. “Of course I think he’s attractive, but that doesn’t mean anything except that I have eyes. I mean, who doesn’t think he’s attractive? With that hair and those eyes... And I have even more reason, sharing a dorm with him. I see him when he comes out of the shower wearing just a towel, sweet mother of Merlin...”

Lily waits patiently for Remus to finish daydreaming.

Remus shakes himself out of his daze. “And of course I like him as a person. I wouldn’t have been friends with him all these years if I didn’t like him as a person. And what’s not to like? He’s clever, funny and brave, but he also has this really sweet side, you know? A side he doesn’t show much, and I guess it makes me feel special that he does show it around me. He always makes me feel special. It’s kind of weird, actually. He makes me feel special, but at the same time he makes me feel like I can just be myself, and that’s enough. I feel comfortable around him, and I suppose I do prefer his company above anyone else’s. Even on those moments when I normally don’t want to see anyone, he’s the only one I prefer being with over being alone. And when he’s not around I often find myself thinking about him. Now that I think about, I think about him almost all the time...”

Remus trails of and looks at Lily with wide eyes. Lily just nods.

“Oh Merlin,” Remus groans, hiding his face in his hands.

“Remus, Remus, Remus,” Lily sighs. “You’re so lucky to have me as a friend. Here’s what you’re going to do...”

“Padfoot?”

Sirius whirls around, and grins at Remus. Remus can tell he’s trying to act like everything’s normal between them, but he can also tell that his grin is somewhat forced and there’s a hint of pain in his eyes.

“Wotcher, Moony.”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Remus says.

The grin fades from Sirius’ face, and he runs a hand through his hair. “Ah, yeah, Evans told me about those people that’ve been bothering you. I’m really sorry, Moony. If I had known...”

“It’s not your fault,” Remus says.

“I know you feel uncomfortable about my feelings for you.” There’s a sadness in Sirius’ voice. “I won’t mention it again. I never meant to make you uncomfortable. If I could change it, I would, but being in love with you has become such a big part of me, and it’s not something I can just stop. Turns out, you’re a very hard person to not be in love with.”

“I don’t want you to not be in love with me!” Remus says.

Sirius frowns. “You like having me hopelessly pine after you that much?” He looks slightly hurt.

“No,” Remus says quickly. “No, I just think I might have been... too hasty in rejecting you?”

“Moony,” Sirius sighs. “You have every right to reject me. You don’t have to try and force yourself into feeling something you don’t, just because you pity me, or some stupid twats think they can judge you.”

“I rejected you because I didn’t think you should be with...” Remus gestures vaguely at himself. “Well, with someone like me. It only occurred to me recently, very recently, that I never even considered whether I have feelings for you.”

“And do you...”

“I do.”

“Oh.”

“Oh indeed.”

Sirius lets out a nervous chuckle. “So do you want to-”

“No!”

Sirius blinks in confusion. Remus quickly tries to clarify.

“I mean, no, you already asked me last time, this time I want to ask you.”

Sirius mutters something under his breath about a bloody emotional roller-coaster. Remus continues.

“I already talked to Alyssa MacMillan, and she told me to ‘go get my man’, so since you’re now free this Saturday, would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me, as in a date?”

Sirius’ face lights up in a smile so beautiful it makes Remus a little dizzy. “I’d absolutely love to!”

#my tumblr writing #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fic #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #lily evans #wolfstar fluff

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midnighttmarauder · 4 years

Text

Secret Marriage

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Summary: Reader and Sirius try to keep their marriage a secret, but it’s hard to keep secrets from Harry and the Order of the Phoenix.

Warnings: none

***

Keeping secrets from the Order was much more difficult than you and Sirius had anticipated. It was bad enough that you hadn’t invited any of them to your impromptu wedding, but you felt awful for keeping your marriage to Sirius a secret. The only person that had been invited was Dumbledore, and he had served as both the officiant and witness.

“Nobody can know that we’re married. It’s too much of a risk if one of us gets captured. I won’t have any death eaters touching a hair on your pretty little head because they know about us,” Sirius said, cupping your cheek and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Can’t we at least tell Harry? He’s your godson, and I’m sure he won’t tell anyone,” you replied.

“If he’s anything like his father, he’s terrible at keeping secrets,” Sirius said. You laughed and leaned into his chest.

“I wish they could’ve been there,” you muttered.

“Me too, love. But I’m sure they were watching, wherever they are.”

The first time that your marriage was almost discovered was your fault.

You had just returned to Grimmauld Place from a mission that left you awake for two days. It was second nature to put your wedding band on after you had showered, and you forgot entirely that you were wearing it when you went down to the kitchen for a snack. You smiled at Remus as you prepared yourself a cup of tea.

“Hey, Moony. Anything good in the paper for once?” you asked.

“The usual. More disappearances and deaths. Looks like Ireland’s quidditch team is doing better this year, though,” he replied.

“Sirius and I have a bet going. They better not win the season,” you said, raising your mug to your lips.

You didn’t understand why Remus was staring at your left hand until you looked at it yourself. He raised a knowing eyebrow as you slammed your mug down and tucked your hand behind your back.

“Something you’re not telling me, Y/N?” he asked.

“No! It’s just a promise ring, that’s all,” you replied.

“Glad that my wedding invitation wasn’t lost in the post,” Remus said, reopening the newspaper and leaning back in his chair. You sent him a guilty smile and made a mental note to look up a spell that could hide your ring while it was on your finger.

***

The second time that your marriage was almost discovered was Sirius’ fault.

Sirius was the best secret keeper you knew, even when he was drunk—you had complete confidence that whatever you told him, he would take it to the grave. But Sirius hadn’t been this drunk since Hogwarts.

Order parties were rare. The only time that every single member was able to be at headquarters at the same time was around the holidays. Even then, it was difficult to have a party with all members present—evil didn’t stop because St. Nicholas threatened coal. But for Sirius’ birthday, everyone decided that it could wait, even for just a few hours.

“I love you all so much!” Sirius yelled, his cheeks rosy as he went around to every member of the Order and gave them tight hugs. His mug of butterbeer sloshed dangerously, and even spilled down the backs of some people’s cloaks, but nobody seemed to mind all that much. Not even Moody, who simply laughed and clinked his flask against Sirius’ cup.

You smiled and leaned against the fireplace, watching Sirius run around like a child. It had been a while since you had seen him so happy and carefree. You glanced down at your left hand and your bare ring finger, and your smile slowly slipped. You knew why your marriage had to remain a secret, and had accepted the fact that it was to keep you and the people you loved safe. But a part of you wanted to be selfish, just this once, and yell from the rooftops that you were married to your best friend.

“Y/N! My love! Why so sad?” Sirius slurred. He placed his drink down clumsily on the mantle and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“I’m not sad,” you replied. Sirius squinted and ran his gaze across your face.

“Yes, you are. You’re doing that pouty thing I hate. I can’t have my wife sad on my birthday!” he exclaimed. You shushed him and put a finger over his lips as you glanced around the room—nobody seemed to have heard. Sirius giggled and kissed your fingertip, nipping at it playfully.

“Keep your voice down! I’m just sad because I wanted to wear my wedding ring tonight, that’s all,” you muttered.

“You can wear it later. That can be the only-”

You laughed and shoved Sirius’ face away from yours. He gave you a mischievous smile and turned dramatically to face the room.

“Attention, everyone! Like I said before, I love you all. You’re all very special to me, but…none of you are as special as my dear Y/N. She is the woman of my dreams, my other half, and the only person who somehow puts up with me. I don’t know how I convinced her to marry me!” he yelled. Your heart leapt into your throat as everyone began murmuring.

“Not yet!” you exclaimed, stepping up beside Sirius and looping your arm through his. “I’m very disappointed if that was your way of asking me to marry you, Sirius.”

“I thought I already did,” he mumbled. You watched the gears turn in his head, and then a crooked smile crossed his face.

“She will be my wife, friends! Don’t worry everyone, I plan on marrying Y/N. And you’ll all be invited to our wedding! Drinks all around!” Sirius announced, patting your hand.

“Cheers to that!” you exclaimed. Everyone raised their glasses, and you blew out a sigh of relief. Sirius was going to get an earful in the morning.

***

It was nobody’s fault when your marriage was finally discovered. You thought it was Sirius’, and if you asked him, it was Moody’s. In reality, it was both yours and Sirius’ fault for thinking that you could keep such a big secret from your family for so long.

The Order had made a breakthrough on the whereabouts of a death eater hideout. Harry had stumbled upon a broken-down mansion not far from the Weasley’s burrow while practicing his flying, and when he had flown closer to investigate, saw none other than the Malfoys apparating in. Sirius sent you a wink across the table as Harry told Moody and a few other Order members what he had seen.

“We need to scope it out. It’s most likely crawling with death eaters, important ones too if the Malfoys bothered to go there,” Moody said.

“There’s probably evidence lying around that we could collect while we’re at it,” Sirius suggested.

“Good point. It’s best if only one of you goes, so as not to draw attention and in case you need a quick getaway. It’ll be a standard reconnaissance mission, just to collect information until we’re ready to go in and fight. Y/N, you’re one of our best spies. Are you up for it?” Moody asked.

“Of course,” you replied.

“You’ll be in and out in no time. We just need to know a basic floorplan, how many death eaters they’ve got there at a time, if there are any patrols. You know the procedures. Maybe we can have you stake it out for the night to see if there are any patterns,” Moody explained.

“You’re really going to send her alone? You said it yourself, that place is probably full of death eaters. They’ll capture her if they find her,” Sirius said.

“Sirius,” you began.

“No, you’re not going alone. I’m going with you,” he insisted.

“You can’t go with her. This is a one-person job,” Moody said.

“We can ask Dumbledore to borrow James’ cloak. They won’t know I’m there,” Sirius suggested.

“No. I’m going alone,” you said. Sirius slammed his hand down on the table and clambered to his feet.

“Sit down, Sirius,” Moody hissed.

“I don’t want to sit down. Don’t send her, send me instead,” he replied, pacing back and forth.

“Y/N is one of our best at reconnaissance. There’s nobody else I trust for this job,” Moody said.

“There’s got to be. Can’t you bring someone else in, or go yourself?” Sirius spat.

“That’s enough!” you exclaimed. You rose from your chair and leaned your hands against the table. “I’m going on this mission, Sirius, whether you like it or not.”

“No, you’re not,” Sirius said.

“That’s not your choice to make, is it? Mad-Eye needs me on the mission, so I’m going. End of discussion. You don’t make decisions for me. You’re not in charge here, and you’re not my father!” you yelled.

“No, I’m only your husband!” Sirius roared.

The entire room went silent as you and Sirius started at each other over the table, chests heaving. His eyes were wide with worry and the realization that he had just revealed the secret that you had both spent months trying to keep. There was a sinking feeling in your gut as you pushed off from the table and crossed your arms. When Sirius spoke again, his voice cracked with an emotion you couldn’t quite place.

“Merlin, Y/N, you’re my wife. I just want to protect you. Maybe it’s selfish, but I care more about you than I do about this mission, or any of them. I need to be there so I can keep you safe. I won’t know what to do with myself if something happens to you,” he said.

“But we’ve been on missions without each other before,” you muttered.

“We weren’t married then. It was different, somehow. I vowed to protect you, Y/N. I won’t break my promise,” Sirius said.

“You’re married?” Harry asked. You tore your gaze away from Sirius’ and nodded down at Harry.

“We’ve been married for a few months. We had a quick ceremony, just us and Dumbledore. I’m sorry that we didn’t tell you, that we didn’t tell any of you, but we were afraid of what would happen if any of Voldemort’s followers found out,” you replied.

“Having a relationship with someone in the Order is dangerous enough, but being married? I didn’t want to run the risk of anyone capturing Y/N to get to me, or the other way around. My dear cousin Bellatrix has some vendetta against me, so I wanted to keep us all safe from her,” Sirius explained. He made his way around the table and stood next to you, entwining your fingers together.

“So, my invitation didn’t get lost in the post because I never got one? Ouch,” Remus said.

“We’re sorry, Moony. We wish you could’ve been there, we wanted you all to be-”

“Relax, I’m joking. This just means you have to throw a party now that we all know,” Remus interrupted.

“I like that idea,” Sirius said, clapping a hand to his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, Harry,” you muttered.

“Oh, I kinda figured. Sirius never shuts up about you, and I’ve caught him wearing his ring a few times. He’s a bad liar,” Harry replied.

“I used to be better in school. Ask McGonagall,” Sirius mumbled under his breath.

“Well, there’s no use in keeping our rings a secret anymore, then,” you said as you pulled out your wand and waved it over your left hand. Your wedding band appeared on your finger, and you twisted it with a smile. Sirius pulled his necklace out from under his shirt and opened it, pulling his wedding band off and slipping it onto his finger.

“Hey, I’ve seen that ring a dozen times! You said it was your brother’s!” Remus exclaimed.

“See? I’m still a good liar sometimes,” Sirius said, ruffling Harry’s hair.

“Not to ruin the moment, but I still need Y/N on that mission,” Moody said. Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him. The light from the fireplace glimmered off your wedding band.

“I’ll be fine. Consider my ring my good luck charm,” you muttered. Sirius sighed and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You didn’t miss Harry and Remus making a face at each other out of the corner of your eye.

“I know you will. I’m sorry I overreacted. And told everyone our secret,” he said.

“That’s okay. You were bound to tell them at some point,” you replied.

“Me? I’m better at keeping secrets than you are!” Sirius exclaimed.

“Mate, you literally told us that you were married on your birthday, and Y/N had to cover for you,” Remus said.

“I was drunk,” Sirius argued.

“Sober Sirius is good at keeping secrets. Drunk Sirius, not so much,” you said.

“She’s right. Remember when you told the entire Gryffindor common room that James was in love with Lily before he had the chance to tell her himself?” Remus asked.

“I was drunk!” Sirius repeated.

“Exactly. I think we need to keep you away from the firewhiskey,” you replied.

“I second that,” Harry said. “You’re really affectionate when you’re drunk. I don’t think I’ve ever been hugged so much in my life.”

“Get used to it, Potter,” you muttered, pulling him into a tight hug. Harry sighed dramatically before melting into your embrace.

“Just so you know, I’m glad that he married you. I’d be proud to call you my godmother, if it’s okay,” he said. Tears stung your eyes as you pressed a kiss to the side of his head.

“That sounds wonderful.”

#sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #harry potter imagine #marauders imagine #marauders era imagine #Sirius Black

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startanewdream · 3 years

Text

Teenage behaviour

For @sweeethinny ‘s amazing prompt: ‘Instead of Harry seeing Molly's boggart, he sees Lily's, and faces him and his father dead on the floor, while his mother panics’.

Thanks again for this prompt! I always love to explore Lily and Harry’s relationship!

Read on AO3 or below the cut:

______________________________

Harry's smile doesn't reach his eyes.

Lily has been stealing glances in his direction all night, ever since she got home from her shift, and even though he is talking and eating and acting normal, she can see there is something restrained about him.

She looks around, trying to understand what is dampening his mood - not that it would need much lately, but still, he should be more thrilled about returning to Hogwarts tomorrow, especially considering their fear that he would be expelled. Everything seems normal, though. The kitchen is full of people talking and drinking, enjoying that last-minute party, and everyone's mood seems better than usual. She sees Ron listing the qualities of his new broom to Tonks, while Hermione is talking with Remus about her project of rights for house-elves. Both Ron and Hermione are still beaming because of today’s news.

She raises her eyes to the banner Molly hanged over the dinner table. That brings a warm smile to her lips; Molly had sounded more cheerful than Lily had seen her all summer when she had told proudly of Ron being made a prefect.

Then her eyes fall on Harry again. He is looking wistfully at the banner, with just a hint of guilt shining in his eyes.

Understanding hits her.

He wanted to be a prefect.

That doesn't make much sense for her, considering how Harry always inspired himself in James and how much Harry doesn’t seem to particularly care for authority figures, but there is disappointment and hurt in his eyes, no matter how much he tries to hide it.

Maybe it was some expectation that Dumbledore would choose him? Or he feels that people don’t trust him anymore? Or maybe he is feeling like he let his parents down for not being a prefect?

Whatever it is, she will have to do something about it. This would be easier if James was there that night - Harry does have a tendency to always hear whatever his dad says -, but since he is away on Order duty tonight, Lily will handle it alone.

She looks around once more before locating Sirius and Ginny talking animatedly to each other; they are close enough to Harry so he will be able to hear them talking, so she approaches them.

‘Aubrey’s head was twice the normal size’, Sirius is saying, opening his hands to emphasize it, almost hitting Lily. ‘Oh, sorry, Lily’.

‘No harm done’, she says lightly. ‘Are you telling the infamous balloon head prank?’

‘I will let you know it’s one of the best Marauders pranks to date’, Sirius replies, seeming very proud of himself.

‘Don’t believe him, they originally wanted Aubrey’s head to shrink’, she tells Ginny conspiringly, making Ginny smirk. ‘And they didn’t even try to hide it, it led them directly into detention. No wonder you never made prefect’.

She knows Harry is looking in their direction, but she pretends to not notice.

‘Can you imagine, you and James as prefects?’

Sirius shudders, putting his hands over his heart and looking properly scandalous, just as Lily knew he would be.

‘We would never! Plus we would have to give ourselves detentions on a daily basis’.

‘Like Remus ever gave you any’, she scoffs playfully.

‘Well, he could turn a blind eye on us sometimes. Ok, most of the time’, Sirius concedes when Lily just raises her eyebrows. ‘But I remember a certain Head Girl doing the same’.

Lily laughs shamelessly.

‘If I didn’t catch you, how could I do anything? And with James as Head Boy, you certainly learned to avoid being caught’.

‘It sure helps when your best friend is Head Boy and decides the patrolling routes’, Sirius agrees, grinning.

‘Hang on’, Ginny says, frowning. ‘James was a Head Boy? Your James?’

Lily sees Harry joining their circle and she smiles to herself.

‘Yeah, we were as shocked as you when we found out’, says Sirius dramatically.

‘But he wasn’t a prefect -’

‘Head Boy and Head Girl may have been prefects, but if the headmaster thinks someone else should be, he can choose’, Lily explains. ‘It doesn’t matter whether you were a prefect or not, as long as you are responsible and trusting, really’.

‘You know, that was the only time I really considered telling Dumbledore we were animagi - we couldn’t let him think James was responsible -’

‘Come on’, Lily says fairly. ‘He had improved a lot by our seventh year, it made sense he would be a Head Boy’.

‘Oh, don’t tell my mum that’, Ginny pleads in a hushed whisper. ‘There is no way I will be a prefect next year, but then she might hope I get sense enough to be a Head Girl’. Ginny turns to Harry, shaking her head in fake panic, and Harry lets out an amused laugh.

They all laugh then, and Lily feels good when she sees Harry is more relaxed now as if remembering his father wasn’t prefect either is enough to raise his spirits.

She doesn’t say it and she doesn’t really mind, but she thinks Harry could be a Head Boy in a couple of years. Harry does have the leadership she saw in James in their last year at Hogwarts, even if he doesn’t mind breaking the rules now and then. But if he is not chosen, that will be fine for her too.

Lily hopes Harry understands this.

She shares a drink with Sirius, who is still telling adventures of the Marauders to Ginny, while keeping an eye on Harry. He drifts off to talk with Fred and George and Mundungus - a trio that speaks of trouble for her -, then he leaves them to sit on a chair, pretending to be busy drinking a butterbeer. His face is troubled once more and Lily resists the urge to sigh.

Harry’s changes of mood are more erratic than she can deal with these days. She always thought Death Eaters and bigotry would be the biggest challenges in her life, but now she thinks understanding teenage behaviour is much more difficult.

She throws a sympathetic look at Molly, who is yawning now, admiring the fact that Molly dealt with that seven times.

‘Oh, sorry, Lily’, Molly says, flushing. ‘I just woke up so early today…’

Lily smiles.

‘Go get some rest, Molly. I patch things up here later’. And when Molly opens her mouth, looking worried, Lily smiles. ‘I won’t let them stay up late, I promise’.

‘Thank you, dear. I am really tired… I’ll just sort out that boggart before I turn in -’

‘No, no, let me’, Lily offers. ‘Is that thing shaking the cabinet in the drawing room?’

‘Yes, Alastor confirmed to me tonight it’s a boggart’.

‘That’s on me then. Go rest’, Lily insists. ‘You already made too much today - helping to sort out that last-minute shopping list, this nice dinner. I’ll handle the boggart later, I will have to wait for James to come home anyway’.

Molly looks at her with a knowing expression.

‘I can never sleep before Arthur returns too’, she murmurs, and Lily is familiar with the fear shining in Molly’s brown eyes.

‘Everything is going to be okay’, she says calmly, even though they both know it is an empty promise.

Molly bides her good night and Lily watches her go.

It really must be more difficult for her, Lily thinks. Seven children, one of them not talking with the family, and Molly already lost her two brothers in the first war. That makes the Weasley braver than her and James, she ponders; they aren’t hunted. They are choosing to be part of this war.

They really are the best family. She thanks silently the day Harry decided to sit together with Ron on the Hogwarts Express.

Speaking of her son, Mad-Eye is talking to him, showing him something, and even though Alastor looks as delighted as he can be, Harry seems to be sick.

Lily turns in his direction, determined to fix the situation again, but before she can reach them, Sirius distracts Mad-Eye and Harry escapes, crossing the kitchen in quick steps and slipping through the door before anyone can talk to him.

Great.

She walks to Mad-Eye and sees he is showing around an old photograph of the first Order of the Phoenix, that finally comes to her hand. Lily looks at herself, smiling hand-in-hand with James, and is startled to see how young they both look. Well, not just them. Everyone.

And those who are not here anymore look even younger.

She sees Marlene’s grin and Dorcas’s wistful smile and longing burns inside her for those evenings talking in the Common Room, for their girl’s night out after ending Hogwarts, for all the plans they made. They are so happy and hopeful in her memories, blissful to the fact Dorcas would face Voldemort alone, or that Marlene and all her family would perish in a fire.

She never said goodbye to any of them.

‘What were you talking about with Harry, Alastor?’, she asks in a quiet voice, returning the photo to him as if the distance can lessen the pain that photograph brings to her. She feels a little bit mad at him for bringing this photo to a party.

It’s not like she can or wants to forget all of those who died - it’s just she did not expect to see the reminder of all they lost so suddenly...

‘Just showing the boy the original group. Thought he might like it - so many stories to tell’.

Lily wonders if he told Harry the tragic end of most of those stories and she grimaces at the thought.

Harry doesn’t return so, after a while, Lily leaves the kitchen too. People are still talking animatedly and there are still a few minutes before she will have to break the party. But Lily doesn’t feel like chatting right now, so she may as well get things done. She considers going to see Harry, to check if his things are all packed for tomorrow, but he probably doesn’t want company. He is like her in that sense; prefers to be left alone to brood.

She enters the drawing room, looking around with mild interest. The children did make a good job cleaning everything up, but Grimmauld Place will never seem a happy place. Too many bad memories and dark thoughts, she thinks, as Kreacher passes behind herself, mumbling to himself and glaring at her.

Sirius forbade him of saying mudblood, but she only needs to look him in the eyes to feel the word.

There is nothing she can do about it and Lily prefers to fix on the problems she can solve anyway.

The cabinet close to the window is giving small jumps as if it’s alive. She walks to it, her mind already fixed on the remembrance of Aubrey with that big balloon head (he had really been a jerk and James and Sirius had pranked him for harassing first years muggle-borns, so she hadn’t mind laughing that time), and takes out her wand.

‘Alohomora!’

The cabinet opens and, appearing out of thin air, she sees James holding Harry as a baby, both lying in the ground, with eyes closed, pale and still. Dead.

They are dead.

Her heart beats faster and her mouth is suddenly dry, even as Lily knows this is just the boggart. It feels more like a dream, though, so she stays still for a few seconds, watching her husband and son’s corpses with a strange detachment. She really thought it would be just a dementor - and she would be ready for it this time.

But Lily supposes the memories that the dementor had arisen activated the true fear she had felt that night - that James and Harry would die while everything she could do was to watch hopelessly. Like she is doing now.

The fear creeps through her mind like smoke she can’t help but inhale, and that smoke makes her head light and dizzy, creating images in her head. She pictures how her life would be if that had happened, if Lily had taken Voldemort’s offer to stand aside while he murdered her husband and son and she was left alone.

And lost.

She wonders what she would have done and it’s surprisingly easy to answer. Find and kill Pettigrew, for starters, because there would be no James to hate him more than her and no son to give her other priorities. Then she would go after Voldemort; she would not rest until he was dead, no matter the cost. The boy-who-lived would be replaced by the mother-who-killed.

But then - and that is the scariest part - there would be nothing. No reason to live for. Her days would be empty and pointless, forever missing the two people she had most loved and knowing no vengeance would ever fill that hole…

‘Mum?’, she hears a voice asking, and for a moment Lily can’t really match the voice to anyone, certain she had never heard it before, that he died when he was just a baby -

She turns slowly to find Harry - her living son - at the door, looking at the dead bodies on the floor, then at her.

‘It’s a boggart’, Harry realizes. ‘Don’t - get out of here - let someone else -’

Harry looks worried for her. Somehow, this clears the smoke in her head. Lily steadies her hand and looks back at the corpses lying on the floor with nothing but determination.

‘Riddikulus!’, she says loud and clear, and the boggart turns into a man with a big blue balloon in the place of his head. Lily lets out a nervous laugh and the boggart vanishes in a puff of smoke.

Her heart is still beating faster, so Lily takes a moment to calm herself, to let all those bad feelings slip out of her; she almost jumps when she feels Harry’s hand on her shoulder. She had not heard him walking to her.

'Mum?’, he calls very quietly. ‘Are you ok?’

'It was just a stupid boggart, Harry', she says, forcing herself to smile at him. Harry is frowning, seeing through her empty smile just as she sees through his. 'Just go to bed, tomorrow is -'

'Do you always see us?', he asks in a hushed whisper, ignoring her dismissal. 'I mean - that -'

He stops, unable to continue, and Lily feels a sudden urge to just tell him it was nothing and to let it go. She knows Harry would hate it, but he also would respect her desire to be left alone with her thoughts and fears.

But since all she’s been asking of her son lately is that he talks to her, Lily supposes she has to set the example.

'Sometimes, yes’, she admits in a low voice. ‘At other times it’s a dementor. But it’s all related to the same thing, really’.

Harry looks deep in thought and he stares at the point where the bodies were.

'It was me as a baby', he says, and Lily nods. 'But - why? I mean, I lived’.

She sighs once more and sits on the couch.

'Come here', she asks, and Harry sits opposite to her on the same couch, his legs crossed just like he used to do when he was young and was listening to one of her bedtime stories, except this time most of his leg is out of the couch. That makes her feel strangely comforted, even if she feels her eyes tearing up a little. ‘You grew up so fast’.

‘Mum -’, he starts, looking half-embarrassed as he always does when James or Lily start remembering him as a kid.

‘I am saying it like a good thing’, she promises. ‘I just feel so lucky to have witnessed it all’.

Harry seems confused.

‘Lucky?’

She looks away to where the boggart was on the floor.

‘When I think about that night - the one where you got your scar - I always remember how close we were to lose everything. How you were almost… you and James…’

‘But it didn’t happen’, he says forcefully. ‘We all survived’.

‘Yes, but back then, at the time - I didn’t think we would make it. I really thought… I really lost hope for a moment. Sometimes I still dream of that night, but my worst nightmares are… of that’. She points to the floor. ‘If somehow you and James were gone and I was left alone -’

She can’t continue. Harry breathes heavily.

‘You wouldn’t be alone, I mean, you would still have Remus and Sirius, they -’

‘Harry’, she interrupts him softly, looking back at him. He already seems distraught, but she has to make him understand. ‘I love them, of course, but how would it be if I and your father had died then? If you were raised by Remus and Sirius?’

He stays silent for a moment and Lily can see him picturing all that alternative life. Lily supposes Sirius as a figure parent is an amusing idea, but Harry doesn’t smile for a second.

‘It would never be enough’, he whispers at least. ‘They would never replace you’.

‘They would never try to, I am sure, but... This is it. A life without you and your father would be just - just empty for me. And that’s what I fear the most. That I would be too weak that night and that I had to watch you both dying’.

‘You are strong’, Harry says resolutely, grabbing her hand and squeezing it, though Lily can’t tell if he is doing that for her sake or his own, to also confirm to him that everything is alright. ‘I - I heard what happened’.

‘What do you mean?’

Harry looks abashed, and he lowers his eyes.

'That’s why dementors hit me so hard. The thing I hear when they are near… It’s that night. Bits of it, but I hear... You and Voldemort. You plead for me, and he - he laughs and tells you to stand aside, but you refuse. You always refuse’.

Lily blinks, feeling the blood leaving her face.

'You never said anything’.

'I didn't want to upset you', Harry whispers. 'I know you don't like remembering it'.

She gives him a tiny smile despite everything. She never told him about her own worries, but Harry probably noticed how even though she didn't have any problem explaining about Voldemort, only James would talk to him about that Halloween night.

Harry sees more than people give him credit for.

'You could have told me', she says softly. 'It is not your job to worry about me, Harry'.

'But I do', he admits. 'I don't want anything to happen to you'.

There is a desperation in his voice now, like if he is really afraid something could happen with her and, with a jolt, Lily realizes they never really talked about what happened earlier that month, about how Harry drew away the dementors from her.

About how he needed to do it because she had frozen.

'I am sorry to have scared you', she says tenderly.

'It's not - I wasn't really scared with that boggart'.

Lily believes him. Harry seems to think his father is invincible and he is too selfless to regard his own death as something to be afraid of.

'I meant about the dementors a few weeks ago. And if somehow you thought I couldn't handle that boggart right now'.

Harry blinks.

'I didn't think that', he says slowly, and Lily knows he is considering his own feelings on the matter. 'I mean - I know what you are capable of'.

'I just don't want you thinking that you need to take care of me. I am the parent here. That's my job'.

'I don’t want to lose you’, he whispers guiltily, as if somehow even thinking about it should be wrong. ‘I wouldn’t - I don’t know how I could cope if -’

Harry looks so fragile right now that she does the simplest thing. She stretches her legs, in an offer, and Harry lies down, placing his head on her lap, allowing her to caress his hair like she used to do when he was young, until he would fall asleep.

‘I won’t live forever, Harry’, she says softly. ‘Someday you will be without me - and really, that’s what I hope for’. When he looks startled, she adds with a smile: ‘That you get to live longer than me. That you get a full happy life’.

‘It will only be happy if you are there’, he insists. ‘You and dad. You -’, he stops, closing his eyes as if he doesn’t want her to see more of his emotions than he is already letting it show on his voice. ‘You need to be careful. I know you are good, but - sometimes people are just in the wrong place in the wrong time’.

She knows what he is talking about and she remembers seeing Harry and Cedric Diggory leaving together for the Third Task of the Triwizard Tournament, both looking thrilled that it would be over soon and that one of them might win the Tournament.

And she remembers when they all noticed something was off, when there were whispers of a dead champion and how she had feared so much that it would be Harry… And the guilt she’d felt later when she was just relieved that it wasn’t him.

The good die young, her mother used to say somberly when she saw news of a tragedy.

Lily thinks about the photograph of the old Order, of hope and dreams that mattered none when the people were dead, and she finally understands what upset Harry enough to make him leave the dining party.

‘Moody told you what happened with people from the first Order of the Phoenix’, she says.

Harry bits his lips, looking away from her.

‘I can’t promise you me and your father will make it through this war, Harry’, she says slowly, wishing she could lie to him about it. ‘But I can assure you that we will make everything we can to live… and if not, we will always be with you, you do know that, right?’

She touches his chest, right above his heart, and Harry trembles.

‘I know’, he concedes at least, but there is sorrow in his eyes. Then he looks back at her. ‘Moody told me about the Prewetts and Benjy and the Longbottoms and… I recognized Marlene from that photo in your office. You never told me her whole family had died too’.

‘It was just too painful’, Lily sighs. ‘It was just after your first birthday, when we were already hiding and I remember thinking... maybe I should have done something, I should have protected her -’

‘It was not your fault!’, Harry cries, looking appalled that she feels like that.

Lily refrains herself of pointing out the irony there.

‘I know. It’s Voldemort’s fault’, she pauses, looking at the eyes that are a mirror to hers. ‘Everything that happened. Blame him, blame the people who think like him and allow him to ascend to power, but never blame anyone else’.

Harry blinks and doesn’t answer her.

‘We are better prepared this time’, she tells him, still playing with his hair gently. ‘It will not be like in the First War - we started too late then and we were too few. Now - now we have a better idea of what we need to do, of what he’s after -’

‘The weapon’, he says, and Lily remembers their first night in Grimmauld Place and what little they had told Harry. They never really said it was a weapon, but if Harry thought so, it was for the better.

He didn’t need to hear about that prophecy, not yet. It would give him the wrong ideas probably.

‘Among other things’, she says vaguely.

He sits again, looking rather upset at her.

‘You really won’t tell me?’

‘That’s not your burden to care, Harry. Not now. I know you don’t like to hear that and I know you don’t think it’s fair, but… when you are older. Of age, at least. After school. If there is still a war going on then… then we can talk about you joining the Order and knowing things’.

Harry doesn’t look like he believes her. ‘You would just not care if I joined the Order? Simple as that?’

‘I will care’, she guarantees, running a hand nervously through her hair as James would have done. ‘But I won’t forbid you. No one forbade me, it wouldn’t be fair if I tried to stop you’.

He still looks suspiciously, but Lily just returns his gaze without blinking. She is telling him the truth; sure, she will do everything she can so that Voldemort can be finished before he is of age, but if he is seventeen and the war is still happening, she knows she won’t be able to stop him.

Like her, Harry never refrains from doing the right thing and she taught him to never stand for prejudice.

‘And until then? What do I do? Just sit here waiting?’, he asks, but for once he doesn’t sound like he is fighting with her.

‘Of course not. You can study’. When Harry grimaces, she smiles. ‘Everything you do in school is important. Every lesson - yeah, even Potions, don’t give me that look. You study and you use it to prepare yourself. Not just you, but Ron and Hermione too. All of you must be ready for what happens outside. Life won’t be like in school all the time, where you know when a spell will hit you or that when the bell rings you are safe’.

Harry bits his lips, looking thoughtful.

‘I know it’s not. I mean - for the Triwizard Tournament I learned a lot of spells and how to cast them, but - when it comes to the real thing, when -’, he takes a deep breath. ‘- when I was in the graveyard with Voldemort, it’s not like in school. It’s just your guts and instinct and - and trying to survive’.

This is the most Harry has said about the night of Voldemort’s resurrection to her and, for the first time, Lily wonders if she really wants to know. Just thinking about the desperation he must have felt fighting for his life…

He survived, she tells herself. You won’t be able to keep him under your wings forever, so you give him all the skills you can. You make sure he will be ready.

‘That is it, Harry. Promise you will take your studies seriously this year. Not just because of the OWLs, but because you know what’s happening out here, even if everyone else is denying it’.

He looks solemnly as he gives a tiny nod to her.

‘I will. And I will make sure others are prepared too. I - I don’t want - what happened to Cedric - to ever happen again’.

She smiles serenely to him, even as she remembers Amos Diggory’s cries and thinks darkly he won’t be the last parent to despair for his child in this war.

The good die young.

‘Are you going to stay here?’, he asks, distracting her from her grim thoughts. Lily sighs.

‘No, I promised Molly I would make sure everyone is in their bed not too late. You know how chaotic September 1st can be. And then -’

‘Then?’

‘I will just stay up a little bit longer’.

Harry looks at her as if he can see all that she is not telling him.

‘Dad will be home late?’ he asks, though it doesn’t really seem a question. Lily just sighs, confirming it. ‘I could keep you company’.

Lily smiles more warmly now.

‘You can go rest, Harry, it’s no problem. I’ll just make myself a tea and wait in the kitchen’.

‘I’m not sleepy’, he assures her. ‘I haven’t been sleeping much. I keep having the weirdest dream, really… And, well, I thought we could make some hot chocolate’.

That brings a warmth to her that has nothing to do with the beverage. She thinks of late nights with James and Harry, especially in winter, when they would make hot chocolate and share it in front of the fireplace in their house.

That kind of silly small moments that never seem important as you are living them, but somehow they turn into your favourite memories.

‘With whipped cream?’, she asks, her voice lighter now, and Harry smirks, making his resemblance to James more evident.

‘You can even put a little bit of brandy and I won’t tell anyone’.

She blushes, getting up. ‘I have no idea what you are talking about’.

‘I’m fifteen, mum, I get it now what was the medicine in your chocolate’.

‘When did you get so smart?’, she asks playfully, taking his arm so they can descend the stairs together to the kitchen. ‘Anyway, no alcohol for you’.

‘Spoilsport’, he complains without any real malice. ‘When will I get to drink?’

‘If you are still asking me, Harry, then you are still too young, trust me’, Lily answers grinning.

Harry shakes his head, mumbling to himself almost indignantly but this is such a normal teenage behaviour that Lily will take it without complaining. That’s the kind of thing she wants him to be worried about.

She kisses him softly on the cheek before they enter the kitchen, knowing Harry would be too embarrassed to be seen receiving a kiss from his mother in front of everyone - another very usual teenage behaviour -, and smiles to herself.

‘Thanks for the company’, she says later, when they are alone in the kitchen after sending everyone to bed.

‘Anytime, mum’, he promises, filling his cup with whipped cream, while they accommodate themselves to wait for James to come home.

#Jily Lives #Jily Fanfic #Harry Potter #Lily Potter #Lily Potter is a good mother #Harry and Lily moments #angst with a happy ending #t: fanfiction #Eyes glistening

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tumbledfreckles · 3 years

Text

No Such Thing As An Easy Mission

There was nothing more annoying, James decided, than rescuing someone who did not want to be rescued.

It should have been an easy mission. Well, easy was a relative term. Straightforward was probably a more accurate description. Get in, find the mark, get them out. Do it as quietly, discreetly, and quickly as possible.

Simple.

That the place he was getting in was an extremely secure, exceptionally well guarded safe house for Lord Voldemort. It was said that the man himself resided there often. Presided over meetings of his Death Eaters. Many an Order member had gone in, never to be seen again.

Dumbledore had acknowledged the precariousness of the mission when he’d asked it.

“I wouldn’t normally ask something like this,” his eyes didn’t twinkle, his face sombre and his tone gentle. “But we need them.”

He hadn’t said who, exactly, James would be extracting. In case he was caught, in case the worst happened, it was better that he didn’t know. But he knew where they would be, that they had some combat experience, and that Dumbledore thought them valuable enough to risk James’ life for.

“You are the only one I trust with this, James,” the use of his first name surprised him. He wasn’t sure his former headmaster had ever used it before. “But it is unfair of me to ask this of you.”

“You’re not asking,” James replied firmly. “I’m offering.”

He’d said goodbye to the boys. As they did when any of them went out on a mission. Hell, the way people were disappearing they should probably do it every time one of them left a room.

“Come back, yeah?” Remus had clasped his shoulder, so tight James had almost winced at his werewolf strength.

“Be safe,” Peter had squeezed his arm.

“Don’t fucking die,” Sirius had hugged him, extra to the last. “Or I’m drinking the last bottle of Dad’s whiskey.”

“You will bloody not,” James had choked a laugh as he thumped his brother on the back. “It’s mine.”

“Ours, as Dad would say,” Sirius shook his head sadly as James pulled back. “You never were great at sharing, Prongs.”

How he wished he was sitting at home, drinking that whiskey with his friends now.

Getting in had gone to plan. He’d taken down most of the security wards, taken out numerous guards in a way that spoke to the ample practise he’d had in recent months. Being proficient in sneaking had been honed at school, something to be proud of. Being proficient at hurting people, even Death Eaters, was something he struggled with on a daily basis.

James had made his way to the cell block Dumbledore had described. The masked man they’d captured in the last battle had come up trumps under Veritasium. It was exactly as he’d intoned, right down to the solid door on the final cell, behind which sat the person James was here to rescue.

It took him longer than he wanted to admit to get the door open. Several spells, unlocking spells, blasting spells, a few curses, a hex or two. He swore several times, counting the seconds it took, knowing each one would reduce the amount of time he had to escape. Hopefully, the person he was rescuing could move quickly.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Of all the gin joints, he had to walk into mine.”

James' jaw dropped as he took in the figure before him. “Evans?”

“James Potter. Fancy seeing you here,” She stood up, casually, as if they had all the time in the world. Twirled her wand around her fingers, just like she had in school. “I take it you’re the cavalry?”

“What the fuck -” He stopped. Swallowed. Tried again. “We need to go.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lily shook her head, moving toward him and the door. “Thanks for getting the door open though. They spelled the inside of the room to be impervious to magic. It’s why they left me this.”

He ignored the wand tip she tapped against his chest, “Come on.”

“Still not a good listener, huh, Potter?” She stepped even closer to him. He could feel heat radiating from her. “I’m not coming with you.”

“You don’t have a choice, Evans. You can’t exactly stay here.”

“Oh, I’m not staying,” she smirked at him.

“Then let’s go,” James shifted uneasily, his ears pricked for any sounds outside the cell.

“I have a job to do.”

“No, I have a job to do. We need to go.” He took her wrist, trying to ignore the electric shock that coursed up his arm when he touched her. By the way her eyes flicked down, he was sure she felt it too.

“I need to finish what I started,” she tugged at his hold, frowning when he didn’t release her. “Come on, Potter. It was cute when we were younger, but surely you’ve learnt by now how to take no for an answer.”

“I’m not asking you on a date, Evans. I’m trying to rescue you. Now, let’s go,” James couldn’t help the tension in his voice. Any moment now they were going to be discovered. While it was always going to be a stressful mission, it was so much worse now that he knew it was her.

He needed to get them both out.

“It seems we’re at an impasse, Potter,” she’d moved forward again, coming shoulder to shoulder with him. He could smell her familiar scent at this distance. It brought a wealth of memories. “You have two choices,” she continued, while he told himself to focus. It wouldn’t do to lose his head over her, like he had when he was young.

“And what are they, Evans?” He looked at her properly then. He’d been avoiding it. As if he would ever have been able to get out of this without looking at her.

Lily was more beautiful than he remembered. Either his memory wasn’t as good as he thought, or she’d improved with age, like a fine wine. His expression must have changed as he took her in, for her brow furrowed before she answered.

“You can go back the way you came. Get yourself to safety. You’ve done your job, you’ve freed me. You can leave.”

“I’m not going without you,” his voice sounded gravel, even to his own ears.

She didn’t look surprised. “Option two it is then.” She moved her hand, pulling her wrist from his grasp and placing her fingers in his instead. “You’re coming with me.”

Before he could protest, she’d started to move, tugging him along behind. James stumbled the first step out of the cell, before his brain caught up and switched back into mission mode. He crept silently behind her as they made their way out of the cell area and up the stairs into the manor itself.

She knew her way around it, James gave her that. Lily didn’t hesitate as she ducked them down a long hallway and selected the third room on the right. She braced her back against the door, hand on the doorknob, wand ready. He nodded, she opened the door for him to lead through.

Their preparation was in vain. The room was empty. James lowered his wand as Lily pushed past him to the benches and cauldrons set around the room.

“What is this?”

“Snape’s lab,” Lily answered distractedly, lifting books, opening draws, pushing scrolls of parchment around.

“Snape’s?” James looked around him again, half expecting the vile man to appear at the sound of his name.

“You remember Snape, don’t you, Potter?” She didn’t even look up, her voice dry.

“Unfortunately,” he muttered. “So he really is a -”

“Death Eater,” Lily finished his sentence. “Yeah. Since just after school I think.”

“I’ve never run into him,” James knew he wouldn’t have missed the greasy git, even behind a mask.

“He doesn’t really do duels. He’s more of an inventor.”

“I remember,” James would never forget how he’d suffered at the end of one of Snape’s inventions. Werewolf gashes had nothing on the slicing spell that had seen him nearly bleed out in the middle of a corridor during rounds.

Lily’s face implied she was also thinking of that night. If not for her quick thinking, James might not be standing here now. “Right. Of course.”

“So, what is all this? What is he doing for them?” James was eager to move on from that memory. If he lingered too long, he’d recall what had enraged Snape so much that night. As vivid as the pain of Sectumsampra still was, even more clear was the feel of his lips on hers moments before.

Their first kiss.

Also their last.

“Creating potions. For cursing, for destroying. For blowing us all to bits,” Lily opened a notebook, scanned several pages before shrinking it and shoving it in her jacket pocket. “He’s trying to win them this war without needing to cast a single spell.”

“That bastard.”

“That about covers it.”

“How do you know all this?” James couldn’t help asking, even as he moved back toward the door to check for signs they’d been followed. The manor was curiously silent.

“Research. A chance meeting. Some well timed Legilimency.”

“You saw into his mind?”

Lily almost grinned at the disgust in his voice, “I washed several times afterwards, don’t worry.”

“You should get hazard pay.”

“Oh, believe me, I asked.”

“Who are you working for?” James’ curiosity wouldn’t settle, despite the circumstances. He hadn’t seen her since school. She’d run a mile after the incident with Snape, blaming herself for him ending up in the Hospital Wing. There hadn’t been enough time left in the year to get them back on track before she’d vanished completely.

“Same person as you, it would seem.”

“You’re not at the meetings.”

“Not enough snacks.”

“Evans.”

She sighed, still searching. “I’ve been working on my own. Dumbledore agreed. It was the only way I’d help.” She looked up at where he stared at her. “I couldn’t let anyone else get hurt.”

“That was not your fault. Lily -”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she snapped the book shut and pocketed it. “All done. Let’s go.”

“Not a moment too soon,” James could hear noise at the far end of the hall. He pulled his cloak out and waved it invitingly. “I trust you remember this?”

“Only because it broke my poor Prefect heart when I found out.”

Despite her sarcasm, Lily moved swiftly to him, ducking under the cloak with a practised ease. And she did know it well. When they’d become friends in seventh year, they’d taken many an enjoyable stroll down to Hogsmeade, and made midnight raids to the kitchen for study supplies.

Her back pressed against his chest as they shuffled slowly down the hall. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist as he pulled them back against a wall to avoid a patrolling goon. Her hair tickled his nose as her head rested just under his chin for several breaths before they edged down the stairs. His lips brushed her ear as he bent to whisper.

“The door is unlocked, but we can’t open it without suspicion.”

Her hand rested on his at her waist, as her chin tilted up to reply, “So, what’s the plan?”

“In about thirty seconds, a diversion will happen upstairs. I set it before we left. We go then.”

Lily nodded. James felt her twirl her wand in her hand, despite the small space. Then she did something he never expected.

She relaxed back into him.

Her hands smoothed along his forearms. Her body melted into his until he wasn’t sure where he finished and she began. Her cheek turned to brush against his chest, nose nuzzling into his neck. He never wanted this moment to end.

“Evans,” his whisper was a question, a plea.

“Shhh,” she murmured back. “This has to get me through the next few years.”

Before James could ask what she meant, several explosions went off upstairs. Footsteps from all over the manor thumped against the floor, all heading for the sound. A masked Death Eater came through the front door, and charged past them.

“Go,” James pushed Lily, but she was already moving.

The cloak slipped as they moved through the open door. James tore it off them once outside, shrinking it and shoving it in his pocket as they ran. They were almost out of the ward zone, almost safe to apparate, when a shout came from behind. James felt a curse hit him square in the back a second later. He fell over the ward line.

“James,” Lily had gone several feet before she realised he wasn’t beside her. She came back, falling to her knees next to him.

“Get out of here, Evans,” he growled. “I’ll be right behind you.”

“Yeah right.” She made to pull him to his feet.

“Lily, just go. You’ve got the information.” He could feel strength draining out of him by the second. He was dead weight.

“Quiet, Potter. I’m being a white knight.” Lily pulled his arm over her shoulders, wrapped hers around his waist, and pulled him into a side along apparition.

His head spun, his stomach lurched, and when they landed in an empty field, his worthless legs gave way, pulling her down on top of him. His eyes stayed closed as he groaned, a sound loud enough that he didn’t hear the words she muttered next. But the relief was instant.

“Thanks,” he sighed.

“All part of the service.”

He expected her to get off him, and was pleasantly surprised when she didn’t. Instead, Lily shifted her weight to her elbows, freeing her hands to gently cup his face. He opened his eyes to see her blinking down at him.

“Alright, Potter?” she asked.

He smiled, “Alright.” He brought a hand up, shifting her hair back from her face, mirroring her hold of his head. “But maybe you should stick around, make sure I’m okay.”

“I only left to keep you safe,” Lily’s thumb brushed across his cheek, his lip. “But it looks like you need me here to make sure that happens.”

“I’ve always needed you, Evans. Stay. Please.”

“Well, seeing you asked so nicely.” She smiled as she said the words, but James never saw it. Her lips had pressed down on his, and he was only too happy to oblige with a kiss of his own.

#jily #jily fic #jily fanfic #jily drabble #well it was meant to be #its more of a oneshot #oops #freckles writes

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