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#did this 2 myself

i have so much homework………

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so angry about everything i want 2 throw up

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* LUCY BOYNTON, CIS WOMAN + SHE/HER  | you know DECIMA MARNIE BRIGGS, right? they’re TWENTY-SIX, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, THEIR WHOLE LIFE ON & OFF? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to STARS ARE BLIND by PARIS HILTON like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole MUFFLED SCREAMS INTO SILK PILLOWS, GOING NUMB AFTER ICE BATHS & THE BELLYACHE YOU FEEL COMING IN SECOND PLACE thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is SEPTEMBER 15TH, so they’re a VIRGO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( b, twenty-two, gmt +3, she/her )

hellur…im back with My second baby . do i hav the brain cells 2 write them both ? no here’s her . awful pinterest board ! hmu here or on discord if you’d like to plot . u want to plot bc u love me n decima so much . ( gentle godmod )

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god i can’t wait until i’m old enough that people stop asking if i’m in school

#it happens at least 2 or 3 times a day as a cashier#and its so uncomfortable telling people that i dropped out last year#i like to act like im not ashamed of it at all#and the logical part of my brain knows that there's nothing shameful about it#and im grateful every single day that i did drop out#but i know that people will judge me for it. and even though i know thats wrong of them it still hurts#ive had so many people tell me im throwing my life away#and i cant explain to them that dropping out is the only reason im alive today#that for the first time since i was 11 years old i actually see myself having a future#not in spite of dropping out but BECAUSE i dropped out#so i just have to nod along and say that maybe i'll go back one day even though i know i never will#it makes me want to fucking scream#god and when the people who knew me in highschool find out... talking about 'oh but you were always so smart!!'#yeah and i also daydreamed about killing myself in between classes most days because of how badly school fucked up my mental health#but because my grades were good obviously academia had to be the right path for me /s#and then on the flip side to those people is my friend who i met after i had already dropped out#who likes to tease me for being stupid and was shocked when i told her i graduated highschool with a 4.3 gpa#like the possibility that i had done well in school had never even occurred to her#idk this isnt going anywhere#i just have a lot of thoughts about the way the world perceives you when you're a dropout#and ive kept them bottled up for way too long#so here they are ig
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sometimes i think about ya know, wanting to be a musician and somehow even tho i can’t write songs and truthfully im more of a general performer than say a singer or someone who plays an instrument i am somehow more worried about meeting fans and me being significantly shorter than them (seeing as i am like 5 feet tall and thats it) than like any actual and genuine problems that come with the fact that i don’t actually write songs and can barely sing

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