#even with the “a claim on a soul will leave a mark” shit from season 6 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

black-coffee-and-sugar · 3 years

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Fair warning: it's a long post. Let's examine some of the reasons that Kara has cited why she didn't tell Lena the super secret:

1. She wanted to protect her

Now, this one has some legs on it as Kara specifically mentions it in S3 during a conversation with James and Mon-El. And there's definitely some truth to it. But it's also bullshit. Lena was in constant danger and put herself at risk to save/protect Kara who didn't actually need it. In fact, the first time Lena's mentioned (not shown just mentioned) it's in regards to the venture explosion - something that happened because Lex was trying to kill her. People have been trying to kill, kidnap, manipulate, threaten Lena since minute one. Knowing Kara = SG would not have severely worsened any of that. In fact, it might've helped ease Lena's anxieties and resulted in her taking less risks with her life. In fact, I'm surprised Lena didn't think that Kara's association with her was putting Kara at risk (a far more likely thing).

The 100th episode addresses this to some degree in one of the AUs. Lena tells Kara that she wouldn't have had to risk her life dealing with Sam/Reign alone if she'd known the truth and she's absolutely right. And sure, Lena could've told SG and the DEO when she pieced Reign = Sam together but ask yourself, why would she? What assurance did she have that the DEO would not have treated her BEST FRIEND like a hostile instead of someone in need of help? The DEO is guilty of this and they have a history of locking up aliens indefinitely and on occassion straight up murder. After Reign nearly killed their biggest asset (i.e. SG) why in the hell would Lena trust them with helping Sam? She wouldn't nor should she have. She didn't know that she could go to SG because remember, Lena doesn't think of her the same way she does of Kara. SG is not her best friend. She doesn't have a personal, humanized relationship with her (at least not that she knows of). And obviously she's not going to tell Kara the human reporter with the DEO agent sister about it either. And the kryptonite? SG lost her shit over it even though she's been working with the DEO who stockpiled the stuff until SM left with it (a dumbass move that would've bit them so hard in the ass with the WK situation if it weren't for Lena's kryptonite!). Plus, Kara didn't have an issue with Oliver having a kryptonite arrow, J'onn having a sword. But Lena? How dare she!

So yea no. I get that "I kept my secret to protect you" is a popular thing in the hero world but in the case of Kara and Lena, it doesn't make sense and it did make situations unnecessarily harder.

2. She didn't trust Lena

This is mentioned by Kara to William in a deleted scene from S5 but I think it's worth exploring. I'm not sure to what extent Kara means with this but it could be referring to the moments as SG where she did display a distrust of Lena's intentions and she used Lena's personal relationships against her (i.e. asking James to break into Lena's lab). I mentioned the S3 shitshow with the kryptonite which is where a lot of this started but there's also other scenes in that same season where SG pretty much calls into question the so-called trust she has in Lena despite claiming otherwise. The switch was so abrupt the minute she learned Lena not only had but knew how to make kryptonite. Did anyone ever consider why Lena would bother learning how to make kryptonite? I'd hazard a guess that it was something she was looking into even before Sam/Reign. I think she happened to find Lex's stock and she decided to learn how it works and why it affects the Supers like it does. That would explain how Lena seems to be the ONLY ONE able to make an anti-kryptonite suit and other viable forms of the rock (i.e. Harun el). But no, SG and others immediately jump to the worst conclusions and associate the endeavour with Lena's last name, something SG KNOWS Lena is sensitive about it. And then the harun el. SG was suddenly fine with Lena making it when it was to split Sam from Reign and save Argo from extinction. But when it was used for something else that Lena didn't clue her in on (and what do you know, Alex, Brainy and James didn't either and they KNEW what Lena was doing with it) she got back on her high horse and the distrust became front and centre. You can't trust Lena as Kara and then immediately distrust her as SG and expect her to be accepting of this dichotomy. I'm surprised the woman managed to retain her sanity.

And still, this reasoning doesn't quite hit the mark in comparison to every other insistence of Kara believing in Lena (from day one she even told Clark that she believed Lena after meeting her for the first time). But the contrasting opinions and actions must have given Lena pause. I don't blame her to call into question which version of the truth was real and choosing to believe the worst. It's what SG and the SFs have been doing to her.

3. She was wary of Lena

This isn't an explicitly given reason but I do think it's how the secret keeping started in S2. Frankly, I don't even blame Kara for not showing her full deck in the beginning because she (and even us as an audience) didn't know much about Lena beyond wanting to do good and not be like her family. So no, Kara not telling Lena in the beginning actually makes sense to me (though she told Nia in a split second but that's neither here nor there). For me, I started to seriously take Lena at her word after the Medusa episode. That would've been the perfect opportunity for her to show the true "xenophobic" colours some parts of the fandom accuse her of having and she didn't do it. I don't think she even got so much as a thank you for it. People praise SM for getting Lex arrested but ultimately it was Lena's testimony that got him thrown behind bars. Same thing with Lillian! And yes, the daxamite invasion was facilitated by Lena unwittingly working with Rhea but she fixed it with the lead dispersal bomb, a device she allowed SG the privilege of using or not. So Kara and the SFs being cautious about Lena really should've evaporated halfway through S2 (and it did for Kara at least). In fact, the daxamite invasion may not have happened if Lena knew exactly who Rhea was and her relation to Mon-El because they would've warned Lena about it. Lena did want Kara's advice on Rhea and she would've waited for it if she knew what was going on (i.e. Alex being held hostage) and hell, might've been able to fix it in typical Lena ex machina fashion.

4. She didn't want to lose her

This is probably as close to the truth as we've gotten and it's actually part of her confession in 5x01 (something her outburst in 5x19 tries to undo). But the thing is, Kara KNEW this was a possibility and yet, continued walking towards the deadly cliff with her eyes wide open. The probability of losing Lena got higher and higher as time went on and it was always inevitable. There was always this spotlight placed on Kara telling Lena or Lena finding out on her own but there was always a HUGE chance that Lillian would've told her. Or Lex, which is exactly what happened. And Kara knew that they knew and yet she did nothing about it. The minute kara found out Lillian knew she should've taken action, what guarantee did she have that Lillian wouldn't have gotten bored of waiting for Lena to piece it together? How can they just leave Lillian with dangerous knowledge like that is beyond me. When Alex in particular has made such a big deal about people knowing, didn't want Kara telling Lena, only allowed Kara to tell Lucy to save J'onn and yet, letting Lillian amble about with this info is okay??? Nothing was stopping her from telling Lena or it slipping during one their chess games and definitely nothing stopping Lex from dropping that bomb.

The 100th episode AUs showed us that each time it was Kara telling the truth, no matter how hurt and upset Lena rightfully was, she was ultimately fine with it. And Kara ends up losing her to death, not because Lena walked away. How this wasn't the takeaway message for Kara after that adventure, idk. It was Kara's hesitatancy in telling Lena that allowed Lex to weaponize this secret and twist it into something it never was. And yes, Kara doesn't owe a damn soul her secret and has rarely ever been given the chance to tell anyone on her own terms (James - told by SM, Alex, J'onn, Brainy, Mon-El, the Legion - always knew, Lex & Lillian, Lord & Cat - found out somehow). She only ever got to tell Winn, Lucy and Nia and I'm sorry but none of those people have ever proven themselves trustworthy at the time of the reveal the way Lena has.

So while Kara is every right to keep her secrets, she was wrong to insert herself in Lena's life if she never had any intention of telling her and let's be honest, it really didn't seem like Kara had any timeline on that front.

5. She was selfish

Similar to the above and also mentioned during the confession but this is even deeper. Lena was something of an outlet for Kara, a way to feel completely normal, something she hasn't been able to experience with anyone, even Mon-El. Can you imagine being a cub reporter who knows powerful CEO Lena Luthor and having said CEO choose to spend time with you? Choose to let you interview her when she's wary of the press (remember her interactions with Clark in 2x01 and her family history)? Choose to treat your problems as important and valid and human? I don't blame Kara at all for being selfish with Lena, for wanting to keep Lena all to herself like that. But to not share the other aspects of herself was seriously wrong too and resulted in this imbalance in their relationship. To Lena, it looks like she was giving all of herself when Kara was not. It looks like she put all her trust and vulnerabilities out there when Kara didn't. It looks like Kara was using her (which let's be real, she kinda did a few times in S2 with the fight club and bs article to get info on Lillian and then ofc the CatCo-Edge problem she visited Lena for after ignoring her and proceeding to continue the rejection after Lena said she'd look into it).

You think post-reveal Lena didn't think back to all those moments and have those kinda thoughts? Even called into question what might've been the real reason James dated her and Kara was so insistent on befriending her? Were there perhaps times were she figured it out and can't remember and what's why she chose not to see it? Why do we think she still showed up game night in 4x22 instead of confronting Kara? Because these thoughts amongst others must've been swarming her mind and the only way to keep the upper hand is to continue playing dumb. So yes, Kara made the conscious decision to be selfish with Lena because of the unexpected connection they forged and I get it totally. But Lena has never been selfish and she's always made hard efforts to be a damn good friend (and she was idc what others might think on that) and open herself up to Kara despite how difficult and frankly foreign that is for her.

So are Kara's reasons valid? To a point, I would say yes but their validity waned over the seasons to the point where the secret keeping didn't even make sense anymore.

So was Lena's anger valid? Yes! 100% it was and honestly, I'm surprised she managed to keep it together for so long. I couldn't. But her anger doesn't justify her actions (mind control, manipulating Kara, threatening Russell, holding J'onn's bro captive, putting Hope inside Eve) and how she went out of her way to hurt Kara back. However, I get why she did it though it's worth pointing out that this is the only instances of a betrayal in her life where Lena has gone this far. Bitch straight up spiralled where previously she would cut ties and move the fuck on with life. But with Kara, that doesn't even seem to manifest itself to Lena as an option. Will the show ever address the obvious WHY for this and for Kara being so so terrified of losing Lena (like honestly I have never seen Kara look more distressed).

Maybe, maybe not but regardless I'm not buying this platonic friends nonsense because no one is that devastated over a friendship. Many of us (myself included) have experienced falling outs with very close friends and breakups. Which one do you think the Kara/Lena rift in S5 felt like? It was full on heartbreak, loving someone in complete torment and not being able to stop despite wanting to because even though it's painful, the alternative is infinitely worse.

MB and KM's acting choices aside, these idiot showrunners have brought us to this point with their own narrative and the only logical next step is to make them canon.

Lol okay I'm done.

#long ass post i know #but i had to get this all out #because i just can't look at canon events any other way #its all led to this from 'and who are you exactly?' and it hasn't slowed down #kara's ultimate underlying reason is that she's dangerously in love and i will die on that hill #supercorp #coffee speaks

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teeztheflag · 4 years

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S c h m e r z (Pain)

⋆ pairing: demon!ateez x reader (poly!ateez)

⋆ genre: demon au, suggestive, crack

⋆ warnings: strong language, use of medicine, suggestive topics, pet names, cheating, alcohol, partying, suggestive topics, angst, lots of arguments, mentions of killing, manipulation

⋆ words: 10,100

a/n: @unatempesta-dipensieri this is for you honey

⋆ „What’s a little bird like you doing here alone?“

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„Good morning!“ Woo Young enters the dining area with a huge grin on his face and Seong Hwa chuckles at the little strands of hair that are standing up from his head.

Soon the others join the clan on the table and start to dig into the delicious breakfast. „Wait, is (y/n) not up yet?“ Seong Hwa eyes the round and his gaze stops at Yun Ho and Min Gi who are trying everything to avoid their hyung‘s look.

Hong Joong quirks an eyebrow and sips on his tea. „Guys, did you do something to her?“ That’s what makes Yeo Sang‘s eyes turn into a crimson color eyeing the two demons, too.

„Woah, I mean, calm down... She’s upstairs still sleeping. Yun Ho and me wanted to wake her up but she was still so sleepy.“

The others only nod silently at his answer. Usually you’re always the first when it comes to eating but there could be many reasons why you are not joining them.

San munches on his toast while listing them off in his head one by one.

First, you could be really sleepy because you and the others watched movies until three am this morning and now it’s 8.46 am.

Second, you were embarrassed because you fell asleep on the couch although you swore you wouldn’t sleep at theirs for the beginning.

Which also leads to the third reason, you realized that you woke up in Yun Ho‘s bed sandwiched between him and Min Gi and now are even more embarrassed.

And Fourth, you just pretend to sleep and wait for him and Woo Young to come upstairs and give you the best fuc -

„San? Are you even listening?“

„Yeeeees, sorry.“

„Ah, really? Then repeat what I said.“ Hong Joong watches him while the brown haired boy smirks mischievously. The leader sighs and puts down his napkin.

„I said for the next time we have to watch out for (y/n) but without her noticing. We all know she would freak out if she knew but it’s for her best. I guess she’s still not understanding that many demons are after a marked female...“

„What? Are you talking about me?“ All their heads turn around to see you standing in the doorway wearing a shirt from Yun Ho which comes off as definitely oversized and they all think you look too cute like this.

„Are you awake now, cupcake?“

You frown at Woo Young.

„What did I say about the nicknames? I am still tired but I guess my appetite awakened me.“

After eating breakfast with the demons you got a shower and quickly went back home but not without going through a lot of protests from the boys. Honestly, you were very embarrassed about falling asleep at their house although you made it clear you wanted to take things slow but - you were just so tired. Even now sitting at your desk in your dorm room you couldn’t concentrate at all.

In a few hours you had go to your part time job and you felt like falling asleep in any second. You groaned out and let you head fall onto the surface of the table closing your eyes. Great. Now a headache was coming around, too.

This night you fell into your bed very exhausted. You didn’t make any progress in studying this afternoon and also your boss had been very shitty to you at your shift today. All you wanted was to sleep...

Much to your dismay you only felt worse this morning but got up nevertheless to go to your courses. A pain killer could maybe help a little bit and so you swallowed the pill and grabbed your bag. You already were late so you passed the campus with quick steps and nearly collapsed into the chair for your first lecture.

It only worsened throughout the day. You were on your way back to the dorm and felt really hot. Your limbs hurt and the headache came back. Black dots formed in front of your vision and you quickly found a bench to rest.

Suddenly you saw Jong Ho emerging you with a stern expression on his face. „(y/n)?“

He placed his hand on your forehead and frowned.

„What are you doing here?“ You felt the urge to close your eyes out of exhaustion. You were convinced that something was not right with you by now but you never felt like this before.

Your eyes flattered open and you noticed the change of your surroundings. You were placed neatly into Hong Joong‘s bed. The curtains were closed creating a comfortable brightness in the room. The air conditioning system was turned on and you felt a wet cloth on your forehead.

You felt a lot better and noticing no one was around you turned your head a little bit to the cushion you layed on and smelled the wonderful scent of the demon.

How can someone smell this good?

You giggled at your own awkwardness and quickly arranged yourself when the door carefully opened.

Inside Yeo Sang, Hong Joong and Seong Hwa came. You made eye-contact with everyone of them and stopped at the youngest of the three.

Shit, hopefully he doesn’t read my thoughts about Hong Joong‘s wonderful scent. Heck, (y/n)! Stop thinking... He doesn’t look away! Start singing... Bulleo bulleo mhhmhmhm

You continued humming to the song in your head totally unaware of how the three sat down on the bed and Yeo Sang looking out of the window with a knowing smirk on his face.

„Can you not stop that?“

„I am sorry (y/n). I didn’t chose this ability.“

„What even is going on here?“ Hong Joong and Seong Hwa look between you and Yeo Sang but when no one answers them Seong Hwa clears his throat to gain everyone‘s attention.

„At least you are not ranting about being again in one of our beds - “

„Now that you’re mentioning it how - ah, wait... Jong Ho brought me here, right?“

„Yes. You had a high fever and blacked out so we thought it would be the best to bring you to our place and give you some medicine. How are you feeling now?“

„Better... I just don’t know how I became ill it’s definitely not the season for it.“

„(y/n) maybe you had contact to someone - “

When Yeo Sang tried to touch your forearm you suddenly felt a harsh pain at your wrist just like the last time that crazy guy appeared.

„Ahhh ... fuck! h- hurts..“

„(y/n)!“ Hong Joong and the other two demons try to look from where the pain comes and the leader‘s eyes change into a crimson when he realizes it’s your mark.

Soon the others are in the room trying to figure out what’s wrong because they feel the distress of their clan brothers.

Your forehead is sweaty and Yeo Sang also has to take a step back from the bed clutching at his head out of pain.

„What the hell is happening here?!“ Woo Young shouts and Yun Ho comes to lay a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

Luckily the pain soon vanishes leaving you blacked out again and the fever higher than before.

Downstairs the boys except of Yeo Sang who still sits by your side settled together and debate on what was happening with you.

„I first thought it could be a normal flu or something but now that her wrist burnt where our mark is I think it’s has to do with us and the bond.“ Seong Hwa says.

„Mh, also me and Yeo Sang felt it, too.“

„Here, I got the book.“ Yun Ho enters the living room area with quick steps and places it on the table.

„Okay, I think I found something...“ This caught the interest of the other demons who where scattered around the place by now and building a circle around the book and Seong Hwa very fast.

„Seems like her body and soul starts fighting our mark...“

„What the fuck?! How and why?!“

„Jong Ho, calm down.“ San embraces his brother form behind to calm him down while Hong Joong might start to realize what is really happening here.

„Listen! It also says that it can be due to the human itself or if another demon tries to claim him or her.“

„I think the first option is bullshit because we talked about this so who’s the motherfucker trying to take away my kitten from me?!“

„San, first - it’s not only your kitten and secondly - the nickname‘s stupid. Let’s agree on babygirl.“

Seong Hwa proudly smirks at his idea and San coughs at that.

„*cough* pervert *cough*“

„Guys, can we please focus on (y/n) and not such unnecessarily things?“

„Jong Ho is right. It’s cupcake anyways.“ Woo Young high-fives with Min Gi and grins.

Hong Joong only facepalms and groans.

„Stop. We have to figure out who’s behind this until then we continue watching her and talk about every little change we notice. Alright, guys?“ Everyone nods at him and looks up when Yeo Sang comes down the stairs shock evident on his face.

„How is she?“

„Sleeping. It’s angel you idiots!“

The next days your condition got better and the demons were relieved to see you quite energized and healthy again. You were thankful they took such good care of you but it was time to get back to your lectures and work everything up.

yunhoe: wanna grab a coffee after your last lecture? (´｡• ω •｡`)

you: yeh I pay

yunhoe: why? let your bestfriend treat you

you: you want sth in return

yunhoe: would never ( `ε´ )

you: you’re turning into a woo young version 2.0 these last weeks

yunhoe: :‘( the betrayal

You smile at your display and link your arms with your female bestfriend Hyo Lyn when she emerges you with a big grin while walking to the other campus.

„Oh, who’s the poor guy.“

„You’re mean (y/l/n) (y/n). He’s a very lucky boy and his name is Seok Woo.“

You stop in your tracks and eye her suspiciously. „If I hear a page being turned in the next seconds I am outta here.“

„Gosh, stop watching those dramas.“

„That only proves you watched it, too!“

„Of course. Now I can have my own Ha Ru.“ You laughed out loud gaining a few questionable looks from other students at how Hyo Lyn emphasizes the name.

Inside the lecture hall you sit down next to each other still gossiping a little bit and cringe when she tells you that last weekend at a fraternity party Choi San and Jung Woo Young were seen having a threesome with one of the prettiest girls of the campus.

Such dickheads. While you’re ill they go out having their fun and then still lie about having feelings for you!

„You’re alright?“

„Of course I am why wouldn’t I!“ Hyo Lyn shrieks back at your outburst which again draws the interest of many people in the hall to you.

„Haha, I mean, they’re both really hot and you’re at theirs so often! Do you think Yun Ho would have something against it? Or are you still playing hide and seek with Kang and Kim?“

You could’ve banged your head onto the table but stopped yourself before.

„Can we just forget I ever told you about this?“

„Ehm, no. Look, gaining the interest of the Kim Hong Joong and Kang Yeo Sang is a dream coming to life! Maybe you could ask them for a threesome?“

„Fuck, Hyo Lyn! Stop this nonsense.“ Your cheeks were painted so red you had to cool them down with your palms leaving your bestfriend a laughing mess next to you.

After the lecture ended you checked the bus line and saw that there was a technical issue which let to a high delay for the next one. To be punctual for Yun Ho you had to run across the campus and catch the next one which would take a lot more time than usually.

While running you accidentally have your eyes only a second on your phone checking the time and of course bang into someone who luckily caught you pretty effortlessly.

„Shit, I apologize a lot! I am in a hurry and - “

„Well, hello my love.“ You really couldn’t believe your eyes. In front of you the perverted demon stands eyeing you with an amused look.

„You!“

He laughs still holding you in his arms.

„Me!“

„Stop!“ You try to wiggle out of his grip and much to your suspicion he lets you out of his arms carefully.

You look around if someone’s watching you and when sure there are not much students left you turn again to him and whisper-yell. „What are you doing here?! Don‘t say you want to kidnap me again...“ You fold your arms in front of you but slightly panick when he leans down too much in your comfort zone.

„I am studying here now and my lecture just ended.“ You scoff and push him back by his chest.

„What bullshit! Aren’t you too old to study?“

„Wait, how old do you think I am?“

„As a pervert you’re probably fourty or something...“

„H - how dare you! I am 26 years old!“ You give him a bored stare and mention for him to hold it.

„However. I am going and keep out of my way or - “

„Ah, this is will be hard. Because we have the same subject.“ A shiteating grin takes its place onto Joo Hyuk‘s face and you just couldn’t believe this guy.

You try to push your way around him when he stops you by your wrist again and takes you into an embrace from behind. His hold on your wrist leaves a undefinable pain and you hiss out when he finally leaves it. Trying to break free he only holds you closer and you can feel him leaning into your neck. You shudder when you feel him taking in your scent.

„Are you afraid my love? You don’t have to be... I would never hurt you.“ Much to your dismay your body betrays you and you feel your legs giving out at his words which pleases him.

You would lie when you told yourself that this wasn’t exciting but you didn’t understand your feeling at all.

Suddenly he lets you go and chuckles lightly. „Guess we will see eachother more from now on, (y/n)“ And with that you turn around but he’s nowhere to be seen anymore...

Stupid demons.

„Shit, the bus!“

Yun Ho texted you he would drive to the campus with his car because it was getting way too late and today it was his task to watch over you. At least he would bring you home safely and maybe drink a tea at your dorm.

The dorm was only a fifteen minute walk from your position but heh.

You smile when you see him pulling in at the parking spot. How he hops out of the expensive vehicle makes your heart jump but you try to cover it quickly knowing he would sense it.

As he nears your form a frown comes across his face and the next thing you know is him holding your shoulders in a very tight grip. You shudder at seeing your bestfriend like this the first time in your life and gulp when his orbs transform into a deep red color.

Yun Ho drags you to the car and drives to the demon‘s mansion faster than you liked. He pushes you inside the livingroom where Yeo Sang and Min Gi were currently playing Fortnite and some of the others around cheering.

„Hey, what’s our beautiful cupc - “

„Hold him back!“ No one noticed Seong Hwa coming from the kitchen with a gaze full of hate and disgust at your form. Before he could lunge at you Hong Joong and Jong Ho use all of their strength to hold him back. They drag him outside into the garden but the next demon also seems to lose his mind by letting out a deep growl like sound and Woo Young covers San‘s eyes and pushes him out of the room, too.

„What’s with them?“ You find yourself in Yeo Sang‘s arm in a second who seems to try to protect you from the other demons. Tears prick at your eyes and Yeo Sang tries to shush you by caressing your back in comforting circles.

You sit down on the couch after Hong Joong calls Min Gi to get out, too. Leaving only you, Yun Ho and Yeo Sang.

Yun Ho didn’t stop walking in circles since you arrived and you just wonder what was going on. You don’t even recognize Yeo Sang rubbing himself on you by smashing your cheeks together and kissing your hair repeatedly...

After a while you still sniffle when the others come back in and you take a look at the two demons that had the outburst. Whereas San seems only pissed Seong Hwa avoids your look at all costs which hurts you a little bit.

„Is this disgusting scent finally off of her?“ Seong Hwa speaks up while looking out of the window.

Now this was what it was all about... but it wasn’t you fault, right?

Without realizing you roll with your eyes earning another growl but this time from Yun Ho. „Do you think this is a joke?“

You scoff at him. „Of course not but you’re not telling me shit!“

„(y/n), we’re just concerned... Yun Ho brought you here because...“

„It’s okay, angel. You can tell them.“ Of course Yeo Sang already knew what happened because the moment started to flash into your mind occasionally since you’ve arrived here.

You told them about your encounter with Joo Hyuk leaving some of them clearly pissed. After a long pause you and Yeo Sang are again alone in the living room and the others come back after discussing and deciding for you to get out of the demon‘s way as good as possible for now.

Of course you agreed with them but if he was really attending the same courses like you things would get problematic. The tense atmosphere also doesn’t sit right with you. Everyone was giving off the vibe that you have been running into him on purpose.

When in reality they just don’t know about Joo Hyuk‘s intentions and that’s what worries Hong Joong the most. He definitely is the reason for your illness but the question is if he would be so dumb to try again to steal you away. His clan is definitely stronger and larger in number so why you? Why again anger the Ateez Clan?

One thing was sure - they had to keep a good eye on that bastard and need you to work with them although you don’t know about him being the reason for your illness and potential threat to claim you as his.

You on the other side were deeply confused and annoyed. Gladly Jong Ho drove you back to your dorm after your discussion but he also didn’t talk to you at all during the ride seemingly deep in thoughts.

Their reactions confused you... first you’ve never seen Yun Ho like this before. Of course this wasn’t the first time he got angry but definitely the first one his anger felt directed to you, too.

You knew San was an emotional person but you couldn’t shake off the feeling he didn’t had himself under control at all yesterday.

And Seong Hwa... the usually calm and soft demon is who hurt you the most. His gaze told you how disgusted he was by you... you felt like it wasn’t only about your scent but you in general at this moment. Like you’ve done something that betrayed him and his brothers.

The night wasn’t pleasant as sleep seemed to come to you hardly and the next evening at your shift you also couldn’t stop thinking about the events. You felt restless because images of the moment with Joo Hyuk coming back to you again and again. You mentally groaned everytime that happened because instead of fear and anger you felt slight excitement. You knew it was wrong to think and feel like that but you couldn’t stop yourself...

„(y/l/n)! The three gentlemen in the left corner are waiting!“

„Oh, sorry, boss!“

You arrive at the table and get on your knees with a bow arranging the menus.

„(y/n), what a pleasure to meet you again.“ You quickly look up and your mouth opens like you want to say something but nothing comes out.

So much for keeping out of his way... Was he following you now?

„You know eachother?“ One of the guys sitting next to the demon eyes you with a flirting gaze to which you give him a ‚fuck off‘ - gaze.

„Yes, this is the special girl I‘ve told you about.“

Eh?

„Special girl?“ It definitely comes out louder than you wanted it to and you check if your boss noticed but are relieved when it doesn’t seem like it.

„Of course. Your indeed very precious (y/l/n) (y/n).“

What shocks you even more is to not find the usual annoying smirk on his face when he says this. Special? Precious? What is he talking about?

You wanted to say something but being unsure of what you just handed them the menus, bowed again and quickly went back to the bar.

„She smells fascinating...“

„Yah, Ji Soo! Don’t even think about it.“

„Why? You’re also hanging out with that human chick. What was her name again?“

„That’s not what I mean. He already has his eyes on her so you don’t have the right to touch her.“

„Stop talking she’s coming back.“

Your brows furrow at their whispering but you brush it off nevertheless. First you cannot stop thinking about him and then he appears again.

What if he really just wanted to study at your university? The last time he could’ve easily kidnapped you again but he didn’t.

Maybe he was just a little bit attracted to you? You cannot shake off the feeling that the others might have overreacted...

Also, what if you had his scent on you? He just hugged you and you didn’t even stand a chance to get out of the grip of a demon. Moreover it wasn’t in your interest at all whereas Woo Young and San couldn’t keep their dicks inside their trousers - which still left a light stinging sensation in your heart.

Of course you knew how they were and that they liked to play around. The question is, why wouldn’t you just be one of the many other girls, too?

You still cannot believe that out of eight demons everyone would have the same amount of feelings for you. To be honest, the only person you thought of really liking you was Kang Yeo Sang. Thinking about Hong Joong - no one really knew what he did or thought in a day.

Maybe you slowly realize that you might fall for them too easily? Since they kidnapped you that day no one really tried to make the next step. Even Yeo Sang and Hong Joong wouldn’t go further than touching you in appropriate places. Well, at least the younger one did. And it all was still friendship like.

These thoughts are giving you a headache. Well, you were the one telling them you only wanted to be friends first then why are you so emotionally confused?

Do you crave for more? Or is it just attention?

Before the three men left the place Joo Hyuk gave you a huge tip which you didn’t stand a chance to reject. Luckily nothing more happened with him to which you were more than thankful. You couldn’t stand so much trouble in short terms.

Arriving at your dorm exhausted you jump on your bed after receiving a text from Hyo Lyn that she was coming over and getting ready for a party. Why would you say no? There were no messages from the guys and you definitely wouldn’t waste this night and free sunday tomorrow.

Yes, this was definitely the best you could do to forget all this mess for now. Only you, your bestfriend and a bottle of wine.

Oh, and loud music, sweating bodies and students making out in every corner. For this night you decided to wear something fancy but sexy, too. The mistake you made? You already drank quite the amount of appetizers with Hyo Lyn while dressing up and you could already feel the coral lipstick smeared from the amount of times you lick them.

You were wasted. Definitely; but in a good way. Hyo Lyn only giggled and dragged you to the dancefoor - the living room of the mansion - and started swaying your hips to the music. By now it was actually unimportant how you looked like you just had fun with the girl next to you and giggled a lot at her stupid dance moves imitating them from time to time.

When you made you way back to the kitchen looking for another drink you couldn’t shake off the feeling being watched. You shuddered at the thought and looked around a few times but couldn’t make out anything suspicious.

Only when you heard the yelling you immediately felt your insides curling. „Quick! Woo Young is winning!“

If Woo Young was here then San would be, too. Meaning there was a high chance some of the others or all of them attended this party, too. Where we’re back to the point - they’re not texting you and acting like wanting to protect you but here we are?

Suddenly Hyo Lyn brings you out of your thoughts by finding you in the kitchen and dragging you outside with a grip on your wrist.

„Come one, we have to watch this!“

Out of a good perspective standing outside a huge group of people in front you can see Woo Young drinking up all the beer and San next to him cheering him on like the others.

You roll with your eyes a smirk building up but it quickly vanishs when you see the cute dark haired beauty pulling him into a kiss and Woo Young first shocked but putting his arms around her waist in return when he wins.

First you really didn’t want to believe Hyo Lyn - but it was obvious that this scene probably replayed every weekend and party they attended.

What about the others? What about the Song Min Gi? What about the prestigious bachelor Kim Hong Jong? What about... what did all of them do?

You went back into the house ignoring the urge to turn into a crying mess feeling like it would be useless. You sat down in front of the mansion outside at the sidewalk alone with your thoughts again. Did you really didn’t know them at all?

No, you knew them. You knew about their hobbies... what they liked to eat and what their dreams were. It was just the fact that you didn’t feel like trusting them and not in the friend like relationship.

The image of them as boyfriends, potential lovers or what you would call it. You’re far away from that and you weren’t a person that tried to seek for the problem in others. It was about you. Maybe your first rejection lead to them losing interest in you. The whole marked thing slowly felt like they just still tried to fulfill something because they gave it to you and maybe they wanted to wait before asking you to take it back...

You definitely were a person to overthink things.

„What’s a little bird like you doing here alone?“

You slowly look up to see who has the nerve to interrupt you at your conspiracy moment.

„Oh, I am sorry... Didn’t want to sound awkward I guess you just looked really cute like t - this...“ You couldn’t stop gaping at the handsome boy. He had black hair with beautiful dark eyes that seemed to shine in the light of the moon and he was just plainly beautiful - exactly pretty like Hong Joong but different.

Hong Joong...

Tears started to prick again at your eyes making the boy worry if he is the cause for your sadness.

„Shit, I am sorry! I didn’t want to upset you!“ He leans down and starts to wipe away your tears with his soft thumbs and you feel oddly comforted by it - probably mainly caused by your drunken state.

„It - it’s not you...“

„Mh.“ He nods in an understanding matter and shoots you one of the most beautiful smiles you’ve ever seen. He sits down next to you still having his arm around your shoulders letting you calm down.

After a while you decide to check your phone to see if someone texted you but you can only see Hyo Lyn informing you about having met Seok Woo and his two very attractive friends and that they were playing beer pong.

„Do you want to get back inside?“

You shrug really unsure and definitely not in the mood to accidentally run into one of the boys. Okay, maybe just get over you high ego and text them!

You searched for San in your contacts and texted him that you also attended the party and if he wanted to hang out in the garden or something.

choi san: I am busyyyy

Wow, what a great answer. You groaned out gaining back the attention of the stranger next to you. „To be honest, I just want to go home and eat as much fast food as I can.“

You flinch a little bit when he suddenly starts laughing at you heartly. „To be honest, I didn’t want to come here in the first place.“ He takes a look back and his nose wrinkles is the most adorable way you could imagine.

„Then why did you come?“

„Three friends of mine wanted me to and I am the driver but now one of them found their girl he’s hanging out with at the moment an the other one‘s still searching for the girl he wanted to meet here.“ You laughed at this because it was cliche.

„What’s with the third one?“

„He just likes to party.“ You both laugh again mostly because you are still tipsy and him finding your laugh contagious.

„Do you want to head out of here? I know we don’t know eachother but I am hungry, too, so we could stop by a diner and after that I am bringing you home?“

„Mh, don’t know. I really don’t know you and my friend is still here... but I could tell Hyo Lyn quickly so she can send the cops after me if you try something funny.“ He grins at you mischievously but without any bad intention.

„Wait, did you say Hyo Lyn?“

„Ey, we looked for you!“ Suddenly you see four figures approaching you causing you and the boy next to you standing up.

Really? That there wasn’t already a massacre at this party fascinates you when you see Joo Hyuk emerging your forms with confident steps his eyes flickering between you and the boy. What shocks you even more is seeing your bestfriend holding hands with a guy next to her that seems to be on of Joo Hyuk‘s fiends and also the trio are the exact same men from your shift.

Leaving you confused who was the boy next to you but seeing his eyes turn into crescents while smiling at his fiends you suddenly feel at ease.

Only Mr. Pervert ruins the mood by winking at you.

„Come one that’s really funny!“ Hyo Lyn giggles at the situation and you cannot hide your smile, too.

„What are you doing here outside? (y/n) I’ve looked for you everywhere!“ Joo Hyuk happily explains and you stiffen a little bit by his statement. Their friend next to you seems to notice and lightly lays his hand on your shoulder to provide you with a feeling of safety.

Poor boy... don’t know he’s messing with a demon and wouldn’t stand a chance against the pervert.

„(y/n) and me wanted to drive to the diner and eat something. Do you want to come along?“

You could swear something flickered in the boys‘ eyes‘ at this moment but you couldn’t lay a finger on what. „No, no. It’s okay. (y/n) seems to be tired and we still want to start this pool party. Am I not right?“ Joo Hyuk laughs at the others and they also happily agree.

Your gaze goes back to him and he smiles and nods at them. „Have fun guys and call me if I should pick you up.“

He guides you to his car which was an expensive Audi R8 and immediately the thoughts comes to your mind if he drives too fast.

Like sensing your doubts the boy comes around the car again and opens the door for you. „You don’t have to worry... I will drive slowly I know you still have alcohol in your system.“

Is he cute or isn’t he?

The night turns around very good in the end. He holds his words and you don’t have to vomit or something. After eating something delicious at the diner with him you feel a lot better now and didn’t even felt the urge to look at your display since the party. Talking comes easily with him and he’s also a very charming guy with a good amount of humor.

After he stops in front of your dorms he gets out again and opens the door for you. He holds out his hand for you to take it and when you take it confidently you feel a slight shock.

„Ouch!“ He looks shocked but also apologizes quickly.

„Oh, haha. I am sorry... Maybe that was a sign?“ He smirks with crescent eyes again and you could cry out at how cute he is.

„Who knows?“ You look him deeply in the eyes and you can feel his smile vanish slowly. You gulp and quickly realize what you’re doing.

Stop flirting (y/n)! Cheater!

You mentally roll with your eyes - which you do... quit a lot?

I am the cheater? What’s with them? They give a shit about me at the moment! I can play this game, too!

Without noticing it you slowly nod with your head gaze turned to the ground and a devilish grin on your face.

„Ehm, I just asked if I could have your number...“

Oh, yeah. He was still there.

„Of course!“

(y/n) no!

You gave him your number and let yourself fall onto your bed a huge grin not leaving your face. You don’t have to feel bad, right? You texted San if he wanted to hang out but you could only imagine what he did in that moment. Woo Young was obviously also busy and you didn’t know who of the others attended the party.

You could’ve texted into the group chat you idiot.

Yes, you could’ve but you didn’t want to.

Suddenly you felt the guilt coming back... now that the boy left your mind it seems like you have to think about them. You take a look at your wrist and recall the electrical shock with the boy.

You don’t know his name... That’s what you only realize now. Well, if he decided to text you could ask him.

Eying you wrist again you try to see something that could resemble a mark; the one they gave you. Tonight you don’t really understand why they did it in the first place. You feel anger bubbling inside of you but decide it is worthless to worry about things you cannot change right now.

To get a decent sleep you think back to the crescent eyes and shining orbs that lulled you in. You find sleep better this night and all thanks to the stranger...

You wake up with a blurry sight. Your limbs are burning and a headache forms. You also feel very hot - shit, again?

Maybe you didn’t rest well enough the last time... you roommate asks you if she can help you with something before she head out for the day and you decline thankfully.

It would be the best to make some tea and sleep the day off maybe tomorrow it would be better and you could go back to university. Throughout the day you occasionally checked your messages and pouted when you received nothing. You don’t know if you hoped for him to text you or the others. Let’s say it didn’t shock you anymore that you received no text from the demons.

You also didn’t want to tell them about being sick again you hate the feeling of being a burden to someone... so you spent the day sleeping, groaning, drinking tea and watching shows.

Great sunday...

Luckily you had a good sleep this night but in the morning you didn’t feel any better... To this point you couldn’t shake off the feeling that the centrum of the stress might could be your wrist; exactly where your mark was located.

Maybe it is because of not being near to the demons lately? This doesn’t really makes sense either. There already have been more moments where you didn’t have much time for them and didn’t got sick...

You clearly are not able to go to your courses today and ask Hyo Lyn to excuse you if someone in your shared courses asks.

Of course the girl wants to come over but you decline not wanting to spread your bacteria. You also ask your roommate to not worry but comply when she tells you she wants buy some medicine for you.

Ah, you were feeling really exhausted and bad again...

You wish someone of the boys would come over and take you into their arms and take care of you but you quickly shake the thought off.

Your wrist hurts again at the thought of them. What the actual hell?

Inside the mansion only Hong Joong and Seong Hwa pace around doing the housework. Well, Seong Hwa tells Hong Joong what to do because the leader is a mess when it comes to cleaning.

Hong Joong feels not good today and he didn’t do yesterday, too. It’s only a light tugging but he cannot say what it could be.

„Everything‘s alright?“

„Yes, just a bad feeling I guess. I wonder how (y/n) is doing. Did she eat? Is she happy? Is some professor getting on her nerves?“

Seong Hwa chuckles. Yes, their chosen mate definitely was someone who got triggered easily by hunger and soppy teachers.

„San told me she attended the party on saturday.“

„Why didn’t he tell us sooner?“

Seong Hwa shrugs while ordering Min Gi‘s laundry. „He just texted me she was there and he took a quick look at her and everything was fine. Hyo Lyn was by her side.“

„Mh, sometimes I feel like she’s taking a lot of her time.“

„Are you jelous, Kim?“ Seong Hwa‘s orbs shine in amusement and Hong Joong frowns at him in return.

„Nooo‘ I just would like to spend more time with her but I guess we should really take it slow...“

„Yes, that’s what we agreed on. Although I would like to apologize for the last time...“

Hong Joong emerged Seong Hwa‘s taller form and leans his head against his arms. „She knows we love her, don’t worry.“

Do you?

The end of the day comes and you decide to not be a pussy and text Yun Ho what he was doing only to be left on read. That didn’t hurt at all, asshole. Was he still salty because of the Joo Hyuk scene?

At least Yeo Sang should understand but he was one of those guys who disappeared for quite a time without telling you and you have the feeling now was the time for it again.

Or should you write something in the group chat? The sun was about to set down while you layed weakly in your bed scrolling through your phone. You found a quite funny video and decided it would be a good way to start a conversation and postet it into the chat.

Woo Young texted back a laugh smiley and the others also wrote something funny but Yun Ho, Yeo Sang and Hong Joong didn’t respond at all...

You couldn’t deny that you missed them even if it wasn’t meant in a romantic way. You missed your friends.

Much to your dismay you had to spend your time in bed the whole week... Luckily you were slowly feeling better and quickly worked out the stuff you missed in the courses. You decided not to write again in the chat and it was funny it became easier to not reply to them either or later because you just forgot.

There was a reason for it because your attention was set on something else or better someone else... He texted you.

First he apologized for not messaging you sooner and today he admit to you that he was a little bit shy and unsure about how to start a conversation with you. Cute...

You texted without a break and you laughed out loud when you asked him for his name and he told you could call anything you like so you decided for ‚charming‘.

You couldn’t come up with anything cooler.

You didn’t tell him about you being ill not wanting to ruin the mood and at the end of the week you asked him if he wanted to hang out.

And you did. It was good and felt at ease with him. He cooked for at his apartment and after that watched a movie together.

„Oh god, who thought it would be a good idea to use such bad synchronisation?“ He laughed out loud and chimed in.

Your head slowly became heavier und you didn’t even recognize that you started to lean on him.

„You have such a nice apartment... I wish I could afford something like this.“

„It’s nothing. I just recently rent it.“ He smiles down on you.

„Wow. What do you even do for a living.“ I doesn’t go unnoticed that he becomes a little bit stiff at your question but you ignore it.

„Let‘s just say I have to do with management.“ You nod at him.

„How old are you?“

„I am 23 years old.“

„Oh, I hope I am done with my education at this age, too.“

„Of course. You’re a smart one, (y/n). I will help you anytime you just have to ask.“ He tilts his head a little bit and places a small kiss on your temple.

You hiss out and shriek back when you wrist starts to burn.

„Woah, is everything alright?“

„Yes, yes...“

His orbs turn a lot darker as he watches the tip of your fingers graze over your wrist. He licks his lips at the sight but immediately arranges himself when you look back at him.

Suddenly your phone rings up and you take it to look who calls you. „Hong Joong?“

„Who’s it?“

„Just a - a friend. Excuse me for a second.“ He nods at you and you go to the kitchen.

„Hello?“

„(y/n)? Where are you?“

„I am out.. Why though?“

„You’re not at your dorm and your roommate wasn’t there, too. I wanted to pick you up for a late movie night...“

„Oh, I am sorry. It’s so late already?“

„Where are you so I can pick you up? We’re missing you, (y/n)... also me and Yeo Sang felt something a few seconds ago.“

„Yeo Sang is back?“

„Yes, but, are you alright? I said we felt something like a sting.“

„Oh, no. Everything’s alright I don’t think I am in for it, tonight. Sorry...“

„Mh, okay. You would tell me when there’s something, right?“

You pause at his question. Lately you weren’t honest at all and now you feel like shit because they suddenly decide to connect you again. You sigh. Right now you’re with the charming boy and it would be rude to just leave.

„Of course I would.“ Lie

„Ok, then take care. I hope I am not annoying you.“

„You’re not! No, you’re not. I am happy you called me...“ You really were.

„Bye, (y/n).“

„Are you ok?“

„Ah, yes. My friend just worried for me.“

„Must be a good friend then.“ He lightly smiled at you and reached out his hand for you to take.

Just like Hong Joong never called you all thoughts to them vanish again when you take his hand and let him guide you back into the living room.

You make yourself comfortable in his embrace and you continue the movie. You are very aware on how his breath tickles the hair on your neck and you feel yourself heat up at the close approximation.

You try to hide your nervousness by ignoring him and playing like you don’t recognize his slow movements with his palm on your thigh.

„(y/n).“

You gulp and feel like your heart stops. His index finger lands under your chin and in the softest way he tilts your head so you’re facing him.

„Can I - I really want to kiss you... but I need your consent...“

You weakly nod at him already too engulfed in the moment. He flashes you a dazzling smile and you could swear you saw something flashing in his dark orbs at your answer.

Before you can think about it anymore his lips are pressed on your own trembling ones in a delicate way. You shudder at how aroused you feel and the sensation his touches leave on your form are overwhelming.

The hold on your thigh becomes tighter and with the other one his fingers start to caress your neck. He uses your moaning to explore your mouth with his tongue and it feels like you entered heaven.

When he starts to kiss down your chin and neck you quite overhear something he mumbles with a breathless voice.

„Mine...“

Too engulfed in the pleasure you’re receiving you don’t notice him taking your wrist carefully and kissing along your arm until he lands on the place where your mark is supposed to be.

You open your eyes when feel a tingling sensation there and suddenly hear voices in your head becoming louder and louder the more he sucks on there.

„What is happening?!“

„We have to find her!“

„Yeo Sang! Shit, help him up!“

„Stop!“

You lean back and he looks at you confused and concerned but it’s quickly replaced with a shy smile.

„What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?“ You frantically look around searching for something you don’t even know. Those voices...

„I - I have to go... I am sorry.“

„I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but it’s okay, we achieved a lot for today.“

What is he talking about?

Only now you see your display blinking up repeatedly and the missed calls and texts from the demons.

You sense him watching you out of your eyesight and quickly put your cellphone back.

„I will bring you back home.“

You nod when he stands up leaving you clutching at your wrist with a bad feeling.

The car ride is silent and you decide to use his concentration on the road to text into the group chat that you’re heading back to the dorms.

When you open the door all the boys are already scattered around leaving your roommate sitting uncomfortable on her bed and a sign of relief crosses her features when you enter the room.

Immediately Min Gi grabs your hand and drags you out again followed by the others.

„What are you - ?!“

Min Gi puts you with him in the back seat petting you everywhere and kissing your hair with a frown on his face. Jong Ho starts the engine and drives home so fast you don’t even want to know the limit you’re reaching.

„(y/n)...“ He whimpers out and you turn your head to see his face that is illuminated by the lamps of the road.

A tear is rolling down his features and you swear you’ve never seen Min Gi crying before and he also didn’t touch you like this ever.

He hides his face in your neck and starts to cry. „Please don’t leave us...“

You felt awful. Never ever have you felt so ashamed and disgusted by yourself. You let another man touch you and especially the holy place of your mark and now you would have to face the consequences.

Your heart hurt at the sight of him clutching at you like his life depended on it. He held you in his big embrace like you would vanish any second.

„I would never leave you.“ Now a single tear also rolled down your cheek.

All of you sat silently. Until Yun Ho decided to speak up...

„What did you to with Joo Hyuk?“

Everyone tensed up at his name but you only frowned at his question.

„What do you mean?“

„You know what I mean. If you wouldn’t be my bestfriend I would consider thinking of you as a bitch, (y/l/n) (y/n)!“

Totally confused you stood up and let out your anger by landing a full smack on his cheek.

„I am not a bitch, Jeong Yun Ho! I won’t lie that I didn’t do anything but at least I am not fucking around every weekend like you guys!“

Now it was your time to let out everything that boiled up in you.

„You’re not giving me attention! You’re not answering my texts! You don’t care at all! You’re saying you have feelings for me but you’re not!“

„Don’t say this, dear - “ Jong Ho eyes you with a soft look and tries to reach out for you but you hold your hand up to stop him.

„No! You’ve been hurting me and guess what? I can play the game, too!“

Behind you Woo Young and San tense up.

„You know they mean nothing for us...“

„It doesn’t matter, Jung Woo Young. It hurts me so much... How can I ever trust you when all you do is - do is - nothing?“

Again everyone remains silent and also Yun Ho takes a step back to sit down next to Seong Hwa who rubs his eyes tiredly.

„We can get through this. I know we can... I feel like those are all misunderstandings...“

Yeo Sang always was a person that liked the harmony and it showed again.

You weren’t so sure of his words and bit your lips so harshly that you draw blood letting the tears out again.

„Please, (y/n), we love you. We love you so much. Please don’t give up on us...“

„San is right... we all have to better ourselves. We have to talk and be honest with eachother. Respect us more. Love isn’t easy but I can proudly say that I would do anything for you and us to work.“

You look into Seong Hwa‘s eyes and feel your bond coming to life at his words.

„Like we already said... a demon love is so rare and beautiful like you are (y/n); but - we would never force you to something you don’t want. We will always love you and we want you to be happy... even if it’s without us.“ Hong Joong says eyeing all his brothers who flinch at his words but not say something against it either.

„Angel, I beg you, please... don’t be afraid to show your feelings.“ Yeo Sang seems like to stare into your soul and you know that he knows what you want to do right now.

So you do it. You fall into his arms and sob into his chest. You let it all out and you can fell someone embracing your from behind, too.

You heart feels at ease and you couldn’t say that for a long time. Especially at Yeo Sang‘s and Hong Joong‘s touches you feel the bond coming to life igniting a wonderful sensation inside your systems.

This night you decide to sleep at theirs but of course not without all of you making a sleepover in one room. Fortunately you are the girl and were able to sleep on Yeo Sang‘s bed between him and the leader.

Totally forgetting about Charming and the events of the previous night.

Well, all of you were to exhausted to talk this out so it had to be done in the morning.

Oh, and the questioning turned out more interesting than everyone would’ve thought.

You decide to text him. It was a shitty move especially after last night but it had to be done. Much to your disbelief he only sent you back a smiley leaving you utterly confused.

After the breakfast you gathered around in the garden to finally tell you the truth and discuss on how to deal with Joo Hyuk.

San and Woo Young have been especially clingy to you also feeling very bad about having you hurt so much. Honestly, San craved a lot of your attention and body but he didn’t want to scare you so he decided to distract himself. He really didn’t know it would bother you so much and now he was devastated realizing the shit he done...

„I cannot breath, Woo Young...“

„Oh sorry.“ He smirks at your playfully and you peck him on his lips catching him off guard.

They were all so beautiful but not only in features but character, too... Why did you only realize it now?

Yeah, dumb bitch.

After telling you everything about Joo Hyuk that he wants to claim you and that being the reason for the pain at your mark and also you sickness you gulped.

„Now we have to find a way to deliver the message that he should leave you alone.“

„Or we just kill him.“

You sink further into San‘s side and he gives Jong Ho a silent glare knowing exactly how you would react to something like that.

„Guys, ehm, yesterday...“

Oh, it’s really time you’re telling them about it.

„Yesterday I wasn’t with Joo Hyuk. To be honest, I didn’t see him since a week or more...“

„What? (y/n), you had a scent on yourself from a demon yesterday. Whoever you spent time with was a demon!“

Panick takes its place over everyone’s features at your words and Hong Joong‘s eyes turn into an angry red color.

„I knew she smelled different! Now I know what that smell is...“

„Who is it? Hyung? (y/n)?“

„I - I don’t know his name...“

„You went home with a stranger, made out and don’t even know his name?!“ Seong Hwa‘s definitely in his mother role right now and you look to the ground ashamed.

„I don’t know... He felt so safe and my mind told me not to question it - “

„Typical for a demon like him. He manipulated you quite well.“ Hong Joong spits out with fire and starts to walk in circles.

„I guess you have his number?“

You nod at Yeo Sang.

„Text him to meet at the sightseeing platform at the mountain in the west.“

„What are you planning?“

„Seems like he was able to ignite a strong spark in her but not when she’s with us.“

„What are you talking about?“

Woo Young smiles in mischief at his brothers while petting your head. „Eight mates are stronger than one.“

„Don’t worry, cupcake. You will understand soon.“

You waited for Charming at the point and couldn’t believe yourself when you stupidly smiled at him. From the distance he already waved at you and if it wasn’t for the demons behind the trees you feel like you would’ve fall for him easily again.

„You look cute today. I am happy you texted me so quickly... to be honest I was a little bit afraid after yesterday that it was too early for you.“

You wonder how someone can lie so effortlessly and shudder when he wraps his fingers around your wrist where your mark is located.

He leans down when you’re not answering and gulp nervously when he tries to kiss you...

„The nerve...“

San comes out next to you joined by the others and you can see Charming starting to smile with his crescent eyes.

„I shouldn’t have let you go yesterday, little bird.“ He nearly whispered it out and you tremble when he places a soft skin on our forehead.

„Touch her again and we will kill you, Cha.“

He turns around and San and Woo Young are quick to take you into their arms and lead you further away from the scene. The demon follows your form and you are suddenly scared by his intimidating eyes.

„Ah, Hong Joong... I feel like I’ve lost myself in the whole thing a little bit too much.“

„You just didn’t succeed, Eun Woo.“

„Yes, this time you won. Your little human is not as dumb as I thought.“

Ouch that hurt although you just figured out what an ass he is. Woo Young‘s arms tighten around your form and the others tense up. Jong Ho cracks his knuckles to warn the demon to insult you any more.

„Why did you do that?“

„Clearly not for claiming her. I wanted to take the one love like you did with me...“

„Mi Na murdered humans and it was our task to bring her down. We would’ve not killed her if there would’ve been another way.“ Seong Hwa speaks up.

„She had problems! Okay?! You didn’t understand her! No one did!“

Tears are floating down when reality crushes in... Eun Woo wanted to kill you... and if it wasn’t for the boys you would not be alive right now. Joo Hyuk only was a marionette in this game and you only realized it now...

„We don’t want to hurt you, Eun Woo... Take your claim off her and leave us alone.“

„I said we don’t want to hurt you but we will.“

You sensed the distress of your mates and watched how everyone got into a fighting position leaving Woo Young and San next to you ready to get out of the scene if needed.

Eun Woo looks around him and starts to understand that he’s overpowered. He lets out a disgusting cry full of pain and anger.

„I will take it back...“

Hong Joong gives the demons next to you a sign and they near the other demon with slowl steps. He reaches out his hand and San takes your wrist carefully and guides it into his direction.

Eun Woo looks at you with tears in his eyes and sadly although you hate him right now you can feel his pain. He positions his lips over your wrist and breathes in leaving you lightheaded and suddenly blacking out... you feel free and suddenly the clouds in your mind and the headache you didn’t even noticed anymore are gone.

You open your eyes rubbing them with your palms feeling like you just awakened from a deep slumber.

„Good morning, sunshine.“

„Yun Ho...“

„Yes, the one and only.“ He shoots you a radiant smile and suddenly the door bursts open the other demons literally running inside.

„Cupcake! You’re awake!“

„How long did I sleep?“

„29 hours.“

„What happened?“

„Everyhing is okay right now. He’s gone... back to the demon world to be exact and he took his minions with him.“ Yun Ho tells you while caressing your hand.

You sit up and look into your lap. „Thank you, for everything and I am very sorry.“

„Stop, (y/n). We’re together now and you’re safe. That’s all what matters.“

You smile at them tears of joy running down your cheeks.

„Are you ok to go downstairs and eat something? Woo Young tried to cook - “

Said boy rolls with his eyes. „I didn’t try! I trained a lot!“ You giggle at his words and Yun Ho motions for you to sit up and take his hand so he can help you.

Halfway out of the room you stop...

„Guys...“ Everyone turns around watching you with curiosity.

„I think I might start falling in love with you.“ You quickly close your eyes out of embarrassment and San comes to take your palms that shield your face away with his own hands.

„It isn’t that hard, right?“

You become red like a potato and stomp with your food. „But it is!“ Everyone laughs at your cuteness but it would definitely be a hard way to express your feeling like this more...

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author: Well, what a nice ending to this part!

wooyoung: Where’s my smut.

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↺ back to navi

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#ateez demon #ateez demon au #ateez x reader #ateez au #ateez writing #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction

195 notes · View notes

sedated-love · 4 years

Text

Yandere Dabi x Reader

First Post of October!

Hey Guys! I’m writing every day of October and for the first day I’ve picked a bit of a sadistic route. It is spooky season after all! Hopefully you guys enjoy! Lemme know what you think and feel free to leave suggestions in my ask!

TRIGGER WARNING- Kidnapping, Body mutilation, overall dark shit

Please read at your own discretion.

~~~~~~~~~~

“P-Please…let me go…I won’t tell anyone anything!”

You cried silently as your wrists began to ache from being bound so tightly behind you. He stood tall above you. Absolutely menacing in every way. The sadistic grin on his face only getting bigger the more you begged. You hadn’t mean to wander into villain domain. You were just out on a stroll at night when you saw an abandoned building and thought it would be fun to check it out.

After all, you’ve seen the videos online of people doing the exact same thing and normally the scariest thing they find is an old doll in the corner or some mildly threatening spray paint on the wall that some kids probably wrote there when they were bored. However, it was just your luck to have had a run in with one of the number one villains in all of Japan.

You tried to run at first, but the abandoned house had quickly become a maze. Every corridor lead to another and the sound of his footsteps were always calm and steady behind your own panicked ones. You weren’t sure how long the chase went on or really when it ended but before you knew it you were waking up hours later, bound and gagged on the cold concrete floor of what seemed like a basement. He only ungagged you when your chest was heaving so hard that he was convinced that you were going to pass out again just from the lack of oxygen.

“You stepped into my territory, which means you belong to me and I don’t let things that are mine go.”

Dabi. A villain that you had seen on your tv screen several times was now standing above you, knife in hand. He looked a lot more threatening in real life. He was taller than you had imagined and even though his face already made your stomach churn, his fiery blue eyes were what made you feel extremely unsettled. It is like no matter what he said, the look in them never changed. Almost as if his soul were wiped long ago and all that was left now was this shell.

He reached down, running the blunt of the blade along the tear stains on your cheek as he loved watching the way your quivered underneath him. You were pitiful and helpless to him. Even though he was barely touching you, you seemed to twitch and respond to his every touch.

“Now, kitten…what should I do with you?”

He hummed softly, sitting on the balls of his feet beside you as he looked over your helpless body. The hand not holding the knife grabbed right under your chin, tilting your head up so that you were forced to look at him. Your faces were only inches apart and he only seemed to be leaning in closer.

You took that as a cue to use all your strength to head butt him. A shock of pain reverberated through your skull as your heads collided but you immediately tried inching away on the floor like a worm even though you had no idea where you were going thanks to being blinded from the pain. You may have liked to tell yourself you made it an entire foot before the heel of a boot collided with the back of your skull, shoving your face straight into the concrete below, but in reality it was probably closer to a couple of inches.

If the head butt hadn’t already caused a headache than that certainly did but the villain who was now seething in rage didn’t seem to mind. “You’re going to regret that.” He removed his foot from the back of your head, only to grab you by one of your bound arms and drag you into a better position.

He sat down and situated you laying face down over his lap, a soft snarl in the back of his throat as he spoke. “You wanna act up, kitten?” He yanked down your pants and underwear, a large hand resting on your left cheek, but he didn’t swat or move in any way. “I’ll just have to claim you the old-fashioned way.”

With no other warning his hand set ablaze, searing his handprint into your ass as you screamed in agony. The smell of burnt flesh filling the room as your body went limp against his lap. The pain left you still as you felt like you were going to puke at any second.

“That’s a good kitten~” The male moved his burning hand off your ass which was now permanently claimed with his mark, seeming to ignore the soft sobs that left your throat as he pulled out some ointment from the pocket of his jacket. “Oh, don’t be like that, I get burnt all of the time.” He made a shushing sound as he put a dab of the burn cream onto his fingertips before gentle massaging it into the wounded flesh on your ass. His other hand clasped over your lips to dull the screams of agony that left you as he pushed against the sensitive skin.

“There we go~”

He moved his hand from his lips to your chin so he could tilt your head towards him, shoving his mouth against yours in a harsh kiss. His lips moved heatedly against your own, all of his touches being warm to the touch as he bit you lower lip as he pulled away, a soft pleased purr leaving the back of his throat.

“You’re not a stray anymore~”

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jungcity · 4 years

Text

bane of the devil. | iv

genre: vampire!jaehyun [angst | fluff | smut(?)]

pairings: jaehyun x female reader

note: bane of the devil deals with themes of physical, mental, and sexual abuse as well as toxic relationships. which may be upsetting for some readers. you are advised not to continue if you feel uncomfortable to these types of plots.

words: 5.4k

“oh, father,

i wanted her.

her pretty,

and her bad;

her chaos, and her bliss

in her mercy,

i learned how to lick

the edge of a knife

as she pressed

the blade against my throat

perhaps,

she was the winter

of my summer,

but, gods, i love all her seasons

she was the moon,

she was the sun,

the universe was in her eyes,

and she was mine.”

The weather was not pretty. Jaehyun’s hair was whipped back and forth by the squalling winds, a promise that the heavy rains would eventually fall sooner or later. He isn’t a person for pretty weather, himself. A good ray of sunlight would not scorch him to dust, but it would singe him nonetheless. The dimness of the clouds were fitting for his escapade today.

The busy workers scurried off the pavements, their shoes soundless by the slapping of winds into the trees. Jaehyun turned on one corner, the road has immediately died of sounds, except for the whistling winds and the thunders erupting from the heavens. Several white lights flashed in the skies from sharp lightning to a distant place. Jaehyun’s boots thudded against the sidewalk, the only sound accompanying him as he led himself to the same place he’s been visiting for the last ten years.

Eternal Rest Cemetery.

All of a sudden, as if on instinct, your face projected in his mind. Of how your fear almost drowned you the last time you were with Jaehyun in the same cemetery. Pleasant as your face was, the thought nonetheless irritated him, more than anything. You do not have the rights to barge in his mind unannounced. Not after last night.

You’re not a monster—

A bitter laugh resonated from this throat. Him? Not a monster? He wanted to ask you, then. He wanted to ask you whatever you know about being a monster. When your canines does not elongate, when you do not even feel a thirst for blood every time you are hungry, when you do not even feel the death inside you albeit being alive.

Yet a small part of him wanted to believe you.

He pushed the gates of the cemetery open, the old and rustic metals whistling. Dried leaves littered everywhere, a sign that the caretaker wasn’t doing his job particularly well. Jaehyun’s boots crunched the leaves underneath him as he walked to the tombstone of someone he does not truly know— but treasured nonetheless.

Louise Samantha Wong. He’s read the name over and over again. Yet the pang in his not beating heart never assuaged. Every visit was a hole augmenting in his rotten soul. In spite of that, he’s never missed a single day every year to visit the little girl he’d killed ten years ago.

Yesterday was the mark of her ten-year death anniversary. The wax from melted candles now enveloped the grasses. The flowers from her visitors have already wilted. Louise loved tulips, Jaehyun observed over the years. A little girl with good taste in flowers.

Finally, Jaehyun let go of his grip on the tulips he was holding and laid them neatly on her tombstone.

Jaehyun crouched, silent as a cat. “Hey.” He felt ridiculous as the words tumbled out of his mouth. Ten years of visiting her and he has not yet developed a proper way to greet her. It made him feel wicked than he already is.

Jaehyun’s hands strayed towards the tombstone, dried leaves flying towards the surface and to him. He picked up every leaf until the tomb was clean again.

“You’re probably wondering why a bastard sits next to your grave yet again,” he pronounced followed by a toneless chuckle. “It’s been ten years. You would’ve been fifteen by now.” Familiar thorns wrapped his throat, yet he knew he wouldn’t be able to cry. Jaehyun’s eyes would have been two stones with immobilized pupils if not for the vampire venom which coats his eyeballs. The same venom had also prevented his tear ducts to function.

“I’m sorry.” Jaehyun’s fingers shook, he needed to fist his hand to stop their shaking. “I know it’s useless now. I’ve already ended your life five years after your mother gave birth to you.” Vampire does not breath, Jaehyun could not release the tightness in his throat for that reason. “You would’ve been in high school now, slowly building up your dreams. Sorry for taking that away from you.” He pursed his lips. “The truth is… I’m not happy to be half-alive either.”

The wind rustled again, the dried leaves once again dominated the surface of her tomb. Jaehyun wiped it clean with his hands. “But that’s ungrateful of me, right? You died so I could live. Life’s cruel.”

Until now, Jaehyun couldn’t grasp the reality of a five-year old dying while an asshole such as him lives. And it’s the one reason why he wanted to kill Alena. She could’ve easily chosen Louise to live, instead she breathed life to Jaehyun. Being a vampire isn’t a pleasant life to live with, but at least it could give Louise the chance which Jaehyun took away from her.

Jaehyun, in his rotten and bitter life, never believed in vampires— or any mysterious creature at that. He lived a life tossing coins with the devil, yes, but he never would have thought that other kinds of evils lurked even in the busy streets of a city, ready to turn humans like them.

Jaehyun didn’t wish to become a monster even in second life, but Alena made him one.

And he won’t forgive her for that. She took away Jaehyun’s humanity, she took away everything from him. He could not even show himself to his friends, to his family. For the fear of being rejected.

What is so special to being immortal? How would you chase the wildness of life if the thrill has already been extinguished?

“Farewell, Louise.” Jaehyun finally stood up. The rain has started to fall, drenching the ground. Splatters of mud now starting to cover Louise’s tombstone. “I’ll see you again.” He turned on his heel and left.

There’s still one place he needs to go to.

—

“Long time no see, Lucas.”

A scream of horror echoed from you as Lucas stumbled on his feet and landed on the wooden floors of Madame Juana’s parlor. Before anyone could utter a word, the tall man stood and swing his fist to punch Jaehyun. But his vampire instincts are faster than that of a vampire hunter, so Lucas ended up colliding against the door.

“Years of practice yet you still could not—” Jaehyun’s mockery was halted as Madame Juana raised her hands. Both Lucas and Jaehyun’s knees thudded on the floors as the Madame forced them to kneel.

Veins from their temples started to protrude as they struggled to move their paralyzed body. You remained standing, hands covering your mouth. Everything happened too fast.

“Both of you will behave or else I’ll let you die with your brains splattering on my floors,” Madame Juana warned.

Jaehyun tried to move his eyes and glared at Madame. The two men dropped on the floors as the witch dropped her hands. Lucas almost heaved his lungs out, coughing painstakingly. As for Jaehyun, he regained his natural posture as if nothing happened. The attempt of Madame to squeeze Jaehyun’s air passage went in vain as vampires do not breathe.

“Fuck you, Jaehyun,” uttered Lucas, the color of his face slowly returning.

Jaehyun, as if in his own house, had gone straight to the bottle of liquor resting on the table near the window. He filled the glass to the brim and emptied the liquid in one gulp. As he did that, he raised his middle finger towards Lucas.

“What are you doing here?” Madame Juana regarded Jaehyun with a stoic expression, her red lips thinning.

Jaehyun set the glass back on the table with a loud thud, you were afraid the glass would shatter. “I’m making sure you won’t do anything to Y/N.”

Your eyes widened as he mentioned your name. He made it clear last night that he won’t join you into this ‘suicide mission’, so why is he here checking up on your well-being?

“And what do you think would I do to her?” Madame raised a brow.

Jaehyun shrugged, “I don’t know. Use her blood for your dark magic?”

“Madame does not engage herself to those kinds of magic, you asshole.” Lucas chided in before filling his own glass and gulping its content in a blink.

You chanced a glance at Madame Juana. And automatically gasped as you saw blood dripping from her nose. “Madame! Your nose!” You hurriedly fished your kerchief inside your pockets and handed it to her.

Lucas was beside her in an instant, but she waved her hand as if to say it was nothing. She took your kerchief and pressed it to the skin under her nose. “I’ll be back,” she said, giving the two boys one warning look before departing the room.

“Why are you even here, you piece of shit?” Jaehyun spat the words with enough contempt that made you turn your head towards him. The way his words strayed from his mouth would definitely trigger yet another brawl between them. Thankfully, Lucas stayed to where he was, ignoring Jaehyun’s vulgars.

“I am here to train, Y/N.” Lucas’ back was leaning against the table, his arms crossed against his chest.

What claim does Jaehyun has to ask that question as if he wasn’t the one who just jumped in and showed himself uninvited to your meeting with Madame Juana?

Yet the mention of your training made you decide to finally sit at last. You didn’t meet Jaehyun’s gaze as you sat, for the fear of finding what have been lurking in those chocolate brown eyes once you look. Nevertheless, you felt his eyes boring into yours as if judging you.

“The fuck are you talking about?”

With that, you glimpse at Jaehyun. He asked the words while looking at you. His brows were furrowed, dissent etched on his face.

Lucas scoffed, “Why would I elaborate?”

Jaehyun propped his one leg above another while he waved his hand. “Oh, I know. You will train her for Alena, right?”

When none of you answered, Jaehyun let out a loud laugh.

“What’s funny?” Your irritated question. He wasn’t even invited to this meeting, yet he came, punched your trainer right in the jaw and laughed at your plan as if to mock you. “I know you disagree about everything, Jaehyun. But be careful mocking me now. I might kill you myself after I’m finished with Alena.”

Jaehyun leaned, his eyes enticing you. “You’re sexy whenever you threaten my life like that.”

All the blood from your body once again traveled to your cheeks. He did not just say it in front of Lucas, right? But the snort from Lucas told that it was real. Jaehyun truly embarrassed you in front of a cute boy.

“Is that what your vampire clan teaches you, Jung?” Lucas needed to pursed his lips together to stop himself from laughing, but after trying so hard, he finally let it go and howled.

“And what does your VHC a.k.a Virgin Hunters Corporation teaches you?” was Jaehyun’s sharp reiteration.

Lucas’ howls ceased in an immediate stop then, and now looking at Jaehyun with daggers in his eyes. “It’s Vampire Hunters Corporation, Jaehyun.”

“Yeah, convince me otherwise.” Jaehyun placed his feet on the coffee table then. “Have you ever been laid?”

“Jaehyun?!” You widened your eyes at him in warning. If you were drinking something right now, you would’ve probably choked on it already by his question. You would never afford it if Lucas would back down in training you. Turning your head to the tall man, who stood with his face red only a meter away from you, you spoke. “I’m sorry Lucas—”

“What about him backing down on this plan? I could train you myself.”

There was literally a vein that ticked in your neck as you snapped your head to Jaehyun’s way. He, himself, looked taken aback by the words he voiced out.

“I mean— no. I won’t. If you don’t pay me.”

You rolled your eyes at him and focused your sight on Lucas instead, who looked puzzled as he never had an idea that Jaehyun has read your mind. “I’m sorry, Lucas. I assume you and Jaehyun have already met, by the way you’re talking to each other right now.” You let out a nervous chuckle, “He could really be a nuisance, right?”

“Hey!” Jaehyun stood up, ready to bite you when the door opened, revealing Madame Juana.

“Let’s get back to business, shall we?” She waved her fingers, long nails glinting.

“How about Jaehyun? He couldn’t stay. He’s Alena’s fiancé. And why is he even here?”

You gulped as Lucas stated the words. It seems like everyone knows about it except you. Well, until last night.

“I’m trying to severe the betrothal.” For once, Jaehyun spoke with solemnity, throwing away his haughty visage.

“C’mon, Jung. She’s the most powerful vampire today. Why would you do that?” Lucas’ words were laced with sarcasm that bit on your own skin. The reminder of Alena’s omnipotence, once again, made you uncomfortable and cowardly.

“Do I have to explain myself to you? Absolutely not.”

Madame raised her hand, stopping Lucas from speaking. The witch turned her attention towards the vampire across from you, then. “Will you join us, then?”

It’s a no. Jaehyun— beyond doubt— would decline. He assured that he wanted nothing to do with this mission. Yet a little ember of hope winked inside you as you waited for his answer.

“Not exactly join you. I don’t trust anyone.” He looked at you, and he remained looking at you when he spoke his next words, “But I could help you get close to Alena.”

“Perfect!” The loud clap from Madame Juana startled you. She was flashing her teeth through a smile that could reach her ears. “And I guess… it’s better if Y/N trains with a vampire hunter. And apply the things she’s acquired to a real vampire.”

It’s self-explanatory. Whatever you would learn from Lucas, you would apply to Jaehyun. It’s smart, it’s wise. But it does not make you any less troubled.

Lucas is a cute boy. You might have a little crush on him now. And Jaehyun… well… Jaehyun is beautiful. Having them as your mentors made the butterflies in your stomach tense. Not to mention the fact that they clearly despised each other.

“Y/N?”

You blinked, and saw the three of them looking at you as if anticipating an answer. Right. You had spaced out. “What is it?”

“We’ve just discussed that perhaps it’s better if you’d travel to my villa at dawn.” What?! “Don’t worry, my love. It’s located at the foot of the mountain. I have all the means for your better training in that house.”

You fiddled with your fingers, unsure of what to say. “Can’t we… train here? I mean, I appreciate your generosity Madame. But… my brother. He’d worry.”

“Oh no, darling. It’s better to train with the nature as your company. I know you could make up a reason for your brother. Am I right?” She raised both her perfectly trimmed brows.

“Yes. But—”

“I think we should give her a bit of time. This is all new to Y/N,” Jaehyun chimed in, looking straight at the witch.

“We don’t have the time. The ball’s in three months.” Lucas glared at Jaehyun.

Ball? You looked at the three of them, waiting for an explanation. It isn’t what you think it is, right?

“The ball. Every year, the vampire clans and the vampire hunters commemorate their peace treaty by having a lavish party.” Jaehyun’s eyes were focused on you now. “Yes, Y/N. There is a peace treaty between our nature, and theirs.” He nudged his head towards Lucas.

“This plan. It’s breaking the treaty, then?” You spoke with careful tones, as if frightened that someone with the wrong ears might hear them.

Suddenly, everything feels wrong. Everything feels fraught with danger than it already is.

“Yes, Y/N.” Madame leaned on her seat, “It is.”

You pursed your lips together, uneasiness spreading like wild fire in your chest. “Why are we doing this, then?” You narrowed your brows. “Why do you plan something that is against the treaty?

The tall man blinked and glanced at Madame. His crystal clear eyes shining. “Y/N, this treaty isn’t really a peace treaty.” He cleared his throat and sat on the remaining chair beside Madame. “Vampires have been murdering helpless humans for millennia. That resulted for someone named Diego Asdalis to create a vampire hunting association to protect the people. For hundreds of years the two sides have fought. Yet fifty-years ago, after too much bloodshed, the new leader of Vampire Hunters Corporation and an elder from a vampire clan who looks after all the clans in town made a treaty.”

Every words, you tattooed to your brain. As Lucas explained, you could not help but become fascinated by the informations. It seems like you haven’t gathered much about vampires even after all those years of study.

“It doesn’t mean the vampires and the hunters suddenly agreed for a friendly relationship. We weren’t chummy to each other. The treaty holds one rule only, if the vampire kills a human, the hunter would have all the rights to kill that vampire,” Lucas continued.

You supposed that’s exactly why Lucas hadn’t tried to kill Jaehyun the first time he saw him. And vice versa. There is a treaty that somehow separates their hatred for each other.

And that means VHC isn’t the society you would dare mess up with. If that treaty was factual, then the vampire hunters in town has all the strength and weapons to kill a vampire. That kind of audacity and stoutness was commendable.

“That’s the loophole.”

Three pairs of eyes stared at Jaehyun when he suddenly spoke.

“What about those who were turned into a vampire? What rule protects them?”

Sympathy isn’t something Jaehyun would accept with open arms. Despite that, you could not help but feel sympathetic towards him. His question was meet for the current conversation and to his situation as well. Who, and what protects those who has been turned without their consent?

“If the human presented himself willingly to the vampire, then that is out of our protection. We protect humans, but not against their choices,” Lucas explained. When Jaehyun did not speak, he shot up a brow. “Why? Were you turned against your will, vampire?”

Jaehyun’s eyes were lifeless as he stared at Lucas. “No.”

No? He told you a different tale last night. Alena turned him. The look of his face wasn’t fitting for someone who had willingly asked a vampire to make him one of them. You kept your mouth shut nonetheless. It is not your story to tell.

“Then you’re out of our shields,” Lucas faintly shrugged.

“You wouldn’t be able to do anything, anyways.” Then Jaehyun stood up and walked straight to where the liquor was located.

“What did you say?” Lucas, himself, bolted upright. Ready to pounce on Jaehyun at any given moment. But for the second time, Madame held her hand and ordered him to sit down. Which he gladly obliged without a word.

“Y/N, I’ll give you until tomorrow to decide.” Madame smiled at you. It was warm. For the first time since you arrived, the pressure on your shoulders vanished.

Until tomorrow. What would tomorrow unfold, then?

—

“You gotta pay for me,” Jaehyun announced as you both wait for a bus to pass by. You rolled your eyes and pretended you didn’t hear him.

As you looked at your feet, you could feel Jaehyun observing you. Waiting for you to answer. After leaving the premise of Madame Juana’s mansion, you feel more discomfited. You thought the discussion would go smoothly. But now you feel weak— left with the agitation of being utterly mortal more than ever.

“Cat got your tongue?” Then he peered at your face, a stunning yet annoying smirk plastered on his face.

“I don’t talk to strangers,” you muttered. His enraged declaration about your status to each other’s life last night was still clear in your mind.

Jaehyun faked a hurt expression. “That’s awful.”

“You’re awful, Jaehyun.” Then you stared at the road instead, praying that a bus would be merciful enough to stop by so you could get away with him already and pretend that the both of you do not live in the same house.

You instantly felt conscious when he didn’t speak. He’s awful for saying you weren’t friends. But you are awful for saying that he is awful. That does not sound right. After heaving a deep sigh, you decided to finally look at him.

“I’m sorry.”

You said at the same time. Jaehyun laughed, while you turned away from him.

Then he cleared his throat, “Look, I’m not gonna apologize for saying we weren’t friends—” He held up both his hands when you sharply glared at him. “— because we really aren’t,” he added with a mischievous smile. When you didn’t reply, he pressed on. “C’mon, Y/N. We could work on that.”

“What do you mean?” You tried your best to sound disinterested as possible.

“We could be friends.”

For a moment, you were speechless. Is being friends with Jaehyun really important to you that it has straight away made your heart flutter as the offer slid out of his mouth? It’s ridiculous, but his statement made you smile.

“That sounds… great.”

“I’m not saying instantly—”

“I know that, Jaehyun.” You rolled your eyes to what seem like a first time of cutting him off. “Baby steps.” You pronounced before stretching out your hand to him.

Jaehyun stared at your hand for a moment, before he stretched out his and grabbed yours. His hand was cold, as expected of his nature. But his smile was warm when he said, “Baby steps.”

The ride back home was silent. In a comforting way. You really didn’t need to talk to Jaehyun, nor did you feel compelled to.

The both of you walked the streets. Familiar yellow lights from the streetlights dominated the whole path. The smell of rainwater on the ground still fresh in your nose.

“Are you sure about this, Y/N?” Jaehyun blurted out all of a sudden.

Your grip on your bag as well as to your plates tightened. He needed not mention what did he actually mean for you to understand. As you stared ahead of you, your mouth twisted and you let your mind search for something to answer him.

“I don’t know.” Yes, it was ignominious to admit your heart. But as of now, you really do not know. Madame Juana’s offers feels overwhelming, like she wanted you to say yes to everything she’s laying out for you. However, you know that this is your best shot at finding justice for your parents.

“You don’t have to—” Jaehyun’s words were cut off, his steps drawing into a halt.

You narrowed your brows at him, but he was looking straight at the figure beneath the streetlight. Your eyes followed his line of sight. Only stopping when you noticed a tall figure standing under the streetlight. You have not the slightest inkling of who might be him, but his aura alone sent a shiver down your spine.

“Run, Y/N. But do not run home. Run elsewhere. Far from here. Drop your bags, drop your plates. I will give them back to you once I’m finished,” Jaehyun ratted, eyes never leaving the man from the distance.

There wasn’t a need to tell you that the man was someone dangerous. The deviltry in him was stinking. It was death.

Jaehyun wanted you to run, but your feet felt leaden. They seem to froze onto the asphalt.

“Jaehyun, who is he?”

He didn’t answer, but his eyes were on you now. Every breath was agonizing as you feel the man’s presence, ready to attack if you do little as to move an inch.

“Run, Y/N.” Jaehyun’s irises had changed their color. From dark-brown eyes to red. His canines are elongating. Black veins from his temple protruding.

You took a step back, startled and frightened by his appearance. Finally, you felt your feet moved. So without a second thought, you dig in your shoes against the asphalt, your bag and your plates falling.

And run you did.

As you sprinted far away from Jaehyun, a demoniac snarl echoed from behind you. Goosebumps covered your whole body, shivers ran down your spine. The sound wasn’t human at all.

You continued to run, but the highway seemed so far away. When you feel as if your knees would collapse, you drew in a halt. You pressed your palms on both your knees, steadying your breath and the wild beating of your heart.

You do not dare glance behind you, for the fear of finding out what’s happening to Jaehyun. You’ve ran as far as you could, but the street leads to one path only and you don’t feel as if you’ve ran far enough to be safe.

“Shit!” You hissed, as you stumbled and fell on your knees, nearly kissing the ground. Just when you really need to get away, this is what happens to you. Nevertheless, you quickly stood and ignored the throbbing pain on your knees.

“Y/N!”

Jaehyun.

“Run!”

Do not glance behind you. But you did. Then you saw the man sprinting towards you, his eyes red like Jaehyun’s, fangs elongated and ready to bite you. You forced your feet to run again, but the vampire has caught your hair, gripping it tightly as to remove your scalp.

“Let go of me!” You shouted, grunted.

Pain lances through your hair as he continued to grip on your strands, but it was short-lived as Jaehyun dashed towards you. In a blink of an eye, the two vampires were rolling on the ground, with you kissing the earth at last by the impact of the vampire’s pull on your hair.

The impact has blurred your vision, spots of reds dominating your sight. Something metallic coated your teeth. Blood. Suddenly, the vampire ceased to move, his face turning to your direction, nose sniffing the air.

Jaehyun stared at your direction, too. His eyes were clear as he looked at you. You gulped and stood on your feet despite the pulsating pain in your head. But you fell once again as the other vampire pounced on you.

His eyes were wild, frantic even. His teeth razor sharp. If your heart could explode, it probably would. You gathered all your willpower to thrash, to wiggle out of his body pressing you down on the ground. You will never die like this.

But then saliva started to pool at the corners of his mouth. Without a second thought, he plunged into you. You shut your eyes, trying to make your way out of his grasp.

“You fucking—!” Your words were halted as you heard a gurgling sound. Warm liquid dripped on your face, on your body. The smell of blood coated your nostrils. Then a body fell on top of you.

You wanted to shout. To push the body away. But as you saw Jaehyun standing, a heart on his palms, your strength was taken out of your body.

His eyes were emotionless as he looked at you. But he pushed the body off yours with his foot. You scrambled away from the dead vampire, clutching your chest as if you could hold your heart and stop it from beating wildly.

“Jaehyun…” you breathed at last. The heart was still dripping blood from his hand. Flecks of blood covered his face, his shirt bloody too.

“Go home,” was all he uttered before grabbing the man by the back of his collar and dashing away into the night.

Leaving you bloody, scared, and unmoving.

—

Pools of blood immediately wash the tiled floors red as Jaehyun dropped the body of the vampire. The woman in front of him only regarded the body with her dark and curious eyes. Her long and silver hair catches the moonlight as she stood up from the made dais at the far center of her mansion’s hall.

“Long time no see, my love.” Her lips stretched out into a luscious smile, crimson lips glinting.

“Fuck you,” Jaehyun uttered with enough hatred to make the woman wince, yet he knew that she’s devoid of any emotion for that.

She stood up from her throne, barefoot trudging the cold floors towards Jaehyun. “Is that how you greet your fiancée?” She asked with doleful eyes, before caressing Jaehyun’s bloody cheek. He felt her fingers ran down the side of his face to his jaw in a very, very languid manner.

If he could strangle her right here, right now, he would. But Alena is a powerful vampire. Despite Jaehyun’s own peculiarities and power, he does not meet the level of ability the leader of the Detritius clan possesses. It would be suicide if he dared wrap his hands around her neck.

Alena sucked the same finger, making sure Jaehyun would be able to see every move, would be able to hear every slurp.

Then the woman’s nose scrunched up, “Not as tasty as yours.”

Jaehyun’s jaw twitched, the same hatred he’s been having for ten years towards the woman in front of him bubbled up in his throat, forcing him to retch.

“Stop fucking around, Alena.”

“Fucking around?” Her voice was laced with a sweet venom, “How could I? If my fiancé does not want to marry me, anymore?”

He held her wrist, his grip tight. “I don’t love you.”

“Stupid!”

Jaehyun’s cheek seared from the slap. He shut his eyes, gathering all his patience. He’s been through with the same scenario for a lot of times that it did not surprise him to see Alena’s outrage anymore. If he could bear scars, or any mark from his wounds, it would definitely stand as a proof that he’s gone through worst in the hands of the vampire.

“You are a fool, Jaehyun!” She bared her fangs, her dark eyes turning red. However, in the blink of an eye, her outrage slipped to a pleading expression. Her eyes shone, “I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” And then she was grasping Jaehyun’s cheeks, his body, fisting her palms on his shirt.

“Stop.” He pushed her away, “Stop, Alena. We’re done.”

Jaehyun did not waste any second to turn his back on her and walk away. But before he could open the door, Alena’s voice boomed in the hall.

“Y/N.” Alena laughed her infamous poison laugh, “Be careful, Jaehyun. I know where she lives. Treaty be damned, I won’t even blink once I haul out her heart with my own hands.”

Jaehyun felt as if he was punched right in the guts as he heard the threat. There was no doubt in it, Alena could kill you. Anytime. Anywhere. Even under your roof. A foreign wrath enveloped him, so intense that for a moment, he wanted to kill Alena. Once and for all and get everything over with.

“Do not touch her,” he warned, back still facing Alena.

“Don’t force me.”

In times like this, Jaehyun appreciates his vampire abilities. For like an arrow from a bow, his hands were already wrapped around Alena’s neck. He gritted his teeth, baring his fangs, “I will kill you myself.”

Alena laughed, pushing Jaehyun away with her finger, a movement to show her supremacy. “I know you.” She whispered against Jaehyun’s mouth. “You can’t.” Then she flicked her tongue out to his lower lip. “So do your job, Jaehyun. If you want her unharmed.”

Jaehyun shut his eyes. Your smiling face, with your hands stretched out to him flashed in his mind. Baby steps, you said. He wanted to cherish those smiles, he wanted to protect you. And that’s exactly what he would do once he’s finished dealing with Alena tonight.

A venomous chortle escaped from Alena’s mouth as Jaehyun sank on his knees, craning his neck to one side to give enough access to the woman. The same pain washed through him as Alena’s fangs embedded on his flesh.

After what felt like forever, Alena pulled away, wiping her mouth clean with the back of her hand. Then she kissed Jaehyun with a ferocity of a hungry animal. Her robes slid down the tiled floors. She does not even care about the carnage of the dead vampire lying on her floors as she slid all her undergarments off her body— displaying her naked frame before Jaehyun once again.

“Now, my love, shall we start?”

#jaehyun au #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun smut #neowritingsnet #jaehyun scenario #jung jaehyun au #jung jaehyun imagines #jung jaehyun scenario #nct au #nct smut #nct imagines #nct127 imagines #nct 127 au #jung yuno imagines #jaehyun nct au #jaehyun

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incarnateirony · 4 years

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S15 Remaster: Grace, Souls, Conversion; Effects of the Fall; The Journey of Man; Self-Godhood and Free Will.

Alright, so over in another thread (x) @curioussubjects evoked an interesting take about the effects of the fall vs grace/souls and the meaning of the two, and I remembered having an old post that was a bit of a mess from early S13 where I applied Qabbalistic concepts to SPN not long before the actual... Qabbalistic and Hermetic elements started manifesting (The Shadow, the Empty/Ain Soph, etc) and before I pretty much started flipping theological shit.

The other thread was already becoming titanic with a hodge podge of other philosophical musings between users (I think @winchestersingerautorepair and @thecoffeebrain-blog are still pending to add their additions to it once life clears them), so we sort of mutually agreed to save this discourse for another thread while I took some time to remaster and update the old talking points.

It's a fundamental point that is generally vaguely brushed over, or often has modern concepts plugged into it in streamlined media form rather than exploration: What makes a soul, what makes existence, what makes meaning in our lives.

This, in fact, is the fundamental question and exploration *of* the soul, which Dabb's SPN seems to be tackling fairly directly.

So let's explore the differences and transitional conversions of grace and soul as we've witnessed in SPN. I'll be starting with my take, but of course, as all philosophical discussions go, this is best a conversation of shared concepts.

Also uh, this post was kinda on-request but is literally ridonculously long. Fuck Andrew Dabb for being the only person on the face of the goddamn planet that can make me write infinite words about esoteric philosophy about a TV show.

So this conversation gets a bit difficult to even know where to begin. I'm going to notch a few notes for everybody to keep in mind: Season 6: Death can not destroy souls. Souls are the most powerful known force in the universe, and he who has the most Is Become God. Season 13: Only god can create new angels, they are the biological definition of an asexually reproductive species (as opposed to sexual orientation identity) -- they are unable to create among themselves, and must be created by a supreme force in command of the grace that creates them. This will passively brush over the oft-discussed topic of angel sexuality as well, but that is far from the core point. Season 14: God calls souls "complicated" to handwave away making new ones. Season 15: Yet again, Belphegor tried to consume souls to become a great power, reflecting S6/7 Castiel's arc.

Now that I've sort of dropped those as a lead-in of applicable concepts, I'd like to move forward.

Now as per my S13 listing, we've all seen this fandom turn over and try to apply human sexuality and identity labels to angels over and over again and, while I understand that and mean no offense to that in general, I feel like approaching it from that angle of the human perspective and lens makes a great deal of the substantiative qualities of SPN's discussion of the human soul vanish into the aether. How are these things related? Let's talk!

Sex isn’t the only part of this discussion. As they are wavelength lifeforms, rather than biological, they aren’t really dependent on biological functions. Many of their native elements pass to their vessels: They don’t eat, sleep, or have general body functions… normally.

Their senses are all sorts of different, too. They see in the astral, they taste and smell in molecular compounds, and especially early-vessel-claiming, they seem to have next to no actual pain response. It’s like, well, some giant wave form stuffed in a meat sack they use like a marionette more than having genuine attachment to. Early on angels could waltz through gunfire without flinching and take a knife to the chest with a very bland look of, “Really?”

When it comes to discussing angels and grace, I'm going to pull some sections from the linked post at the start of this:

We know the biblical concept that all things are made by grace; we know Chuck controls his fake construct, but not the free will of the human soul. Consider Gabriel’s constructed worlds where he can manipulate the fake people inside it and snap them away in veils of blue, they’re just pieces of a machine. “I’m the cage.” The human body is part of the sandbox, but the soul is something beyond it.

If angels are living aspects of grace, wavelengths of celestial intent for Chuck’s machinations, the programs that keep the matrix in order – and fallen angels are the rogue programs – they’re still relatively connected to being just… an animated, if intelligent rock or any other piece of the universe. To use more Matrix terms: Just more lines of code. But Castiel’s break in that was contact with his profound bond with Dean that left a mark on him, a brand, just like Balthazar’s soul claims. This tie was powerful enough to be stronger than even Amara’s connection to Dean, for example.

The human soul is the essence of the one true good, realistically – The One Thing that exists, truly, by which all other things come, the Prima Materia – “What Jack did wasn’t evil, it was the absence of good.” – this is actually a hermetic concept but that’s a whole other bag of words, that’s how I quoted that line before the episode aired from the title alone but MOVING ON

If we look at Eileen for example, her ghost is still deaf. Her body/cage/vessel in life never introduced her consciousness, her humanity, to the tactile sense of sound as it exists within Chuck’s sandbox, ergo her spirit doesn’t know it. But it is the soul, like the sleeper, seeking the meaning of its existence and where it is home that commands the body, and leaves the body, and ends up in chuck’s other matrixes of control like heaven and hell that keep people distracted, keep humans from returning to the primordial man that rivals or maybe even betters God.

That all said, human Cas for example suddenly had the full awareness of experience, rather than an autonomous sentient part of the universe chained to divine intent, free or not; that freedom and liberty came by way of the human soul. (Per metatron, Season 8 finale, “When you die and your soul comes to heaven,”) But with his tie to Dean, and humanity, and a soul his hands laid on, the extraction of his grace also left… but what? A soul born of Dean, really.

Whenever his grace came back, that universal power and awareness, he lost those senses, but he didn’t lose many of the attributes that came with. In fact he pined for them.

Also if we go Jungian with the inky man/shadow as the primordial man or spirit of man, Anthropos, while it didn’t reflect Lucifer, Billie, or soulless Jack it reflected Castiel.

I’ve held the theory that Castiel still has a soul like the nucleus of an egg buried beneath a titanic presence of universal power.

I’d also further endorse this by pointing out while metatron cited Cas having a soul in the S8 finale, when Jack lost his, neither Dean nor Cas thought Cas could empathize as well as Sam could.

In example, Castiel is the only one the Shadow reflected, not Billie, not Soulless Jack, not Lucifer, just Castiel; I’ve even gone so far as to speculate that the smiley attempt at communication was the sort of subconscious borg having the essence of Jack’s soul trying to communicate with his spirit/mind otherwise alert based on consumed grace in the Empty. Speculation, yes, but… potentially loudly resonant.

The journey of man to self-godhood is a complex and tangled affair, traveling through facets of the self represented by a wide array of *ideas* we have begun to face in the show (including color schemes Dabb has actively employed)

If you venture into my shorthand visual post about The Shadow, Anima, Animus, and the Self (x) you'll find how the show has chosen to address this. Similarly, the masculine and feminine paths of universal progenation would be worth a cursory read (x).

Similarly, @winchestersingerautorepair recently sent me a chart from a 1973 book titled "The Colors of Love" discussing Hellenistic use of color in association (which, minding alchemy's growth path through time, is hugely relevant). As Maeve said, "John Allen Lee is the mvp by the way. Hes at the crossroads of psychology and LGBT concepts of love and sexuality, and has a fascinating career and life story."

Before I fully locked on to just how loud Dabb was being in his use of alchemy rather than casually tapping on it, you may remember a series of color metas I built specifically on these very colors (and, let's face it, black light doesn't exist, but blue does, and has similar psychological associations). Click this (x) to go to my color metas on tumblr regarding Optimism, which follows this path. Unfortunately my Nihilism one is either untagged or I only posted it on Pillowfort. But you’ll take note I just sort of avoided/dodged/ignored established fanon color meta in favor of other stuff, just a heads up there if you’re expecting me to follow anyone else’s pre-existing fanon -- it ain’t there.

This is all an aside to the actual question of *souls*, but an important framework to how Dabb is choosing to explore the journey of the soul through its many aspects of Being.

To defer back to what I quoted from my other post about Gabriel's universes: What makes humanity different from the moving bodies performing functions of controlled story, rather than guided elements, inside Gabriel's world? If we were to, say, drift into Doctor Sexyverse, or Cop Proceduralverse, nobody seemed to flinch or even be aware of Sam and Dean breaking the script, they continued on their own paths until Sam and Dean "played their parts". But what made Sam and Dean *different* from them?

Explaining freedom to angels is "a bit like teaching poetry to a fish," said Castiel, now bound to humanity since laying his hands on the human soul in hell that, even the S8 DVD commentary mentions, is how he has come to know, love and, as they say, be "enamored with" humanity. We have seen it now-- blank stares of confusion from breaking their course of action, their function. Their predesigned purpose that they were wavelengths of intent for within the machine. They aren't all so different from Gabriel's creations in the end, with Doctor Sexy's Nurses being not too unlike angels to Chuck. They are there for a path and a reason, and should they be somehow interrupted from that function, they seem to lose all purpose.

To convert this to another method of understanding than "matrix code", in case that isn't sinking in with anyone, think of angels as forces of nature. The hurricane means no malice, it simply exists as a function of or even result of universal laws, and often evokes great rebalancing effects that change the course of history for a huge amount of humans and other creatures that it's basically oblivious to. The hurricane does not understand your feelings much less care about them. It is here to do what it does until it is done with what it does. This very concept is why so many ancient gods are primitive archetypes of natural forces.

If we cease trying to box angels into human perceptions for the want to identify with them in such a representation-light landscape, the field opens up to something infinitely more complicated. Such as: what makes Castiel so different? I've already addressed that, of course, in this post, but let's pitch that as a conversational hook again.

"You want to know why we're meant to stay away from those humans? It's not because we're a danger to them. It's because they're a danger to us."

Now BECAUSE sexuality is the angle this fandom has heavily thrown its discussion chips into beyond the other senses, I'm going to move forward into that topical field:

Anna, talking to Dean, lists a long flurry of reasons to become human, among which sex was stapled. In later seasons, Cas comes up with a different list, but it’s more reflective of his emotive view of humanity, and doesn’t include the sex. Either way, it actually leaves interesting take on the human soul’s function (which is also a silent part of something I’ll get to later** ) as per the trinity of mind-soul-body sometimes called “The Threefold Nature of Man” in a lot of classic mysticism. **

So why would Anna include sex in the list if others can enjoy it? There’s various reasons of taking this into consideration, and I consider most headcanon potentials valid since… you know, there’s really no clear statement on this.

- Most angels have a copilot and that’s just creepy AF - It could be subliminal commentary of wanting to enjoy a native drive for it rather than a learned one, since affections and emotions are also canonically attached to the human condition (as well as the 3fold Nature discussed later). - It could have to do with gradual humanization effects (will discuss shortly) - Misc other.

Barring our specific presumption of why this hangs in the air, the detail is that it simply *does*. Perhaps the truth is between all of these, with each angel unto their own.

Anna lurked, invisibly, on earth observing men as long as she knew. Now, gradual humanization effects is a complete headcanon proposal associated around all elements to be covered in this discussion. That is to say, most angels that have exhibited sexual behavior and enjoyment of various goods have either been fallen or in their vessels for a LONG TIME, perhaps gradually removing the disassociation from the body and gaining familiarity with its functions.

Yes, we can evoke Balthazar’s sexual activity, but we must also evoke his appreciation for wine and food and music and all of the other things that we have canonically, even mechanically witnessed in Castiel (inability to appreciate food or drink, in example, as an angel.) So WHAT makes Balthazar different that he CAN experience all of these things (beyond the potential of Plothole AF)? There is literally something he has that other angels don’t. The second Cas clicks back to angel, he can’t appreciate food anymore and beer does nothing for him, but Balthazar can enjoy alcohol? There is LITERALLY a difference of template of EVERYTHING going on here, not just sexuality. We can postulate it all we want, but the only one that immediately comes to mind is “gradual humanization”, as we haven’t the FOGGIEST idea how long he has had his vessel. Unless we assume various appreciations of his are Just An Act, but then why not assume it’s performance behavior on the sexuality too? Pick one or the other, don’t run the line on both. (Also if you want to be under the assumption that despite terminal soul dealing it was his first vessel run, I’m going to leave this as a note, and a REMINDER of his meddling in attachment to, handling, trade and use of human souls for his own means, and tuck this aside until we GET to the meaning of human souls.)

The VERY SAME can be said of Gabriel. And Gabriel we KNOW has been on earth as Gabe for a VERY. LONG. TIME. His sweet tooth is what got him busted. Again, it’s not just about his sexuality, it’s his entire composition is somehow DIFFERENT from otherwise canonical function of angels.

Again I point out there’s also a big ??????? on Naomi because again… 400 year old Crowley in Mesopotamia. We have no educated way to even ADDRESS that one because… is it a time warp? WTH??? Even Mark called this a plothole. Literally we have to headcanon how they were even there together before we headcanon what was even going on in a big old pillar of ridiculous headcanon, so I’m going to float that off in a box labeled with a question mark and admit, it’s just random AF. The “fling” is also implied and unclear. So I mean- we’ll just… note that and keep moving on why it’s never impacted my perception of this much.

How long fallen was Lucifer?

Hannah brings an obvious question to mind in challenge to all of my surrounding premises, but this is literally where “choice of experimentation within a vessel” comes into play, as with all of them. I’m human now, this seems like a fun thing to humans, let me try the thing; that’s all I’ve ever read that as. You may have your read of it otherwise, but angels try a lot of things. And I’ll bring this up during canon talk.

The concept of humanization-with-time does have some further established presence of S13. When Lucifer is still an angel but largely drained of his grace, he too begins feeling compulsions of hunger, cold, and basic human instinct he was previously immune to. Diminished power, and the closer one comes to being of Soul Rather than Grace, the more they seem to resonate. Anna carved out her grace to fully enjoy humanity and was born into it, experiencing its gifts of awareness. Cas can no longer fully enjoy humanity as an angel. We don’t know what Balthazar’s status is. And so on. But it appears that by VARIOUS METHODS, such as the depletion of grace or just being a long-assed time to attach to a specific vessel, they do end up ATTAINING various behaviors.

Preparing to speak on Humanized Angels.

What really triggered this premise to me was the recurring humanization of Castiel. And again, this goes far beyond just sexuality preferences. I’m going to do a brief break to get to that ** I marked above about the threefold nature of man before expanding.

** Mind-Soul-Body trinity:

Angels have the mind/spirit (grace) and body, but lack a soul; grace is closer to their natural body’s composition than molecular and transmits a wavelength thought into whatever sack they’re using to operate. But there’s a disconnect here in classic mind-soul-body structure (which is sometimes alternately listed as Body-Spirit-Soul, with Soul as the mind instead, and Spirit in place of the alternate listing of Soul? People swap these terms interchangeably but you’ll find a common pull). There’s multiple takes on this. For example, we’ll go with the standard accepted biblical take as a first ideation of it, considering the various judeochristian influences of SPN.

Please NOTE I’m going to list several variations of this, and have no hard cast “this is the exact model” they’re using, as much as “this is a recurring theme in religion and philosophy”, which, while SPN is rarely 100% accurate to any one specific model, they often call on.

The EXACT itterations of this vary, and there’s no real saying which exact respective “silent ven diagram” they’re using, but as if a triple circle overlapped with Mind, Body, Spirit with the balance we as humans know at the core. Removing a rung of this strips out major overlap of function.

The inner spirit, insight, will and memory reaching from spirit/mind to body by WAY of the soul, for the spirit to engage the human senses within the constructed universe

CASTIEL

Well, perhaps I’ve been down here with them for too long. There’s seemingly nothing but chaos. But not all bad comes from it. Art. Hope. Love. Dreams.

HANNAH

But t-those are human things.

CASTIEL

Yes.

To fully understand this chart, I again point to (as earlier in this post) this previous post about primordials, explaining the chain (x), Anima Animus and the Shadow (x) and also its association with the paths on way to enlightenment at the source of creation which is explored, for a particular path, right here (x)

Just another way to stack out this chart, including the adventure of Anima and Animus, as well as the id/ego/superego I’ll discuss soon; However, you can see the literal concept is the same. There’s an inner mind, a central essence of the inner court that reflects close to the aspects of Humanity Cas told Hannah, and then the “living room” of the body, and the senses. Same deal. Again, "I'm the cage."

You see a running theme here?

The Soul is essentially commonly received as a vehicle between the higher mind and the body (as well as possessing aspects of our emotion, and sense of self, such as how Sam lost parts of himself without his soul) That, without which, we are lacking various critical anchors of the human experience that we often see lacking in angels.

This therein raises the challenge, “But Soulless Sam was ALL ABOUT the sex.”

That’s where species difference comes in.

We’ll talk psychology a bit, wherein we have the psychological variances of id, ego and superego rather than just body-soul-mind/spirit. They essentially perform the same functions (base instinct drive, early personality function, learned and refined function with choices etc, to boil it down to super-simplistics).

“According to this Freudian model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role; and the ego is the organized, realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super-ego.” – Freud, Sigmund. The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud. Vol. XIX. Translated from the German under the General Editorship of James Strachey. In collaboration with Anna Freud. Assisted by Alix Strachey and Alan Tyson, Vintage, 1999. [Reprint.] ISBN 0-09-929622-5

A Sam with no soul has his base species survival instinct but his acting mind. A Cas with no soul has HIS base species survival instinct (in lack of sexual reproduction as much as potential learned appreciation under the above spoken methods) for an id, if any, and a curiously arranged body until other elements come into play. The ego and superego, such as the application of a soul, leaves room for the gradual inclusion of preferences to anything within this model, such as angels developing their own ORIENTATION once having a vehicle by which to come through.

There’s a few other points to notice about the transition. The Mind/Spirit is capable of questions and doubts, or faith. “I’m not a hammer, as you call it; I have questions, I have doubts.” - S4 Castiel.

The mind is capable to think and to reason, but complex emotions are a challenge to it without a soul, which also filters our thoughts and memories from upper mind into the body, wherein we gain connectivity to the physical senses and the realm we experience.

But the universe -- the wavelengths of intent that make it function -- simply can not experience itself, any more than any other code running on your computer can experience itself. It is you, the human, that experiences the results of that code, and views and understands it and reaches out to aspects of life through it. Grace, should all things be made by it and through Chuck, as the thing that creates this code/intent of angels -- it simply is, and runs, and functions.

So BACK TO THE HUMANIZATION OF ANGELS,

Castiel has humanized or near-humanized three times and we're pending on a fourth. Briefly in the hospital, he was braindead (lacking Jimmy’s brain function, but instead having his own mind) while his heart remained pumping, meaning the body/vessel was alive, but the remaining grace WAS in fact functioning in place of a mind.

CASTIEL 5.21 I just woke up here. The doctors were fairly surprised. They thought I was brain-dead. (…) CASTIEL You could say my batteries are – are drained. DEAN What do you mean? You’re out of angel mojo? CASTIEL I’m saying that I am thirsty and my head aches. I have a bug bite that itches no matter how much I scratch it, and I’m saying that I’m just incredibly… DEAN Human. Wow. Sorry.

However, it was depleted, and this is addressed in effect later on by Metatron removing grace. As grace is removed,

METATRON 8.23 And now something wonderful is going to happen, for me and for you. I want you to live this new life to the fullest. Find a wife. Make babies. And when you die and your soul comes to Heaven, find me. Tell me your story.

Now Castiel goes on to return to himself by going all cannibal and whatnot, but that’s its own story. The simple fact of it is, with the mind housed in a vessel, but the grace attached to it depleted, the body seems to generate something like, equivalent to, or equal to a human soul in its function.

Now to reflect back

2014!CASTIEL 5.04 So, in this way. We’re each a fragment of total perception—just, uh, one compartment in that dragonfly eye of group mind. Now, the key to this total, shared perception—it’s, um, it’s surprisingly physical. 2014!CASTIEL spots DEAN. 2014!CASTIEL Oh. Excuse me, ladies. I think I need to confer with our fearless leader for a minute. Why not go get washed up for the orgy? The WOMEN leave. 2014!CASTIEL You’re all so beautiful. 2014!CASTIEL stands and stretches his back, grunting. DEAN What are you, a hippie? 2014!CASTIEL I thought you’d gotten over trying to label me. (…) 2014!CASTIEL I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings, but I’m sorry, no dice. DEAN What, are you stoned? 2014!CASTIEL Uh, generally, yeah. DEAN What happened to you? 2014!CASTIEL Life. (…) 2014!CASTIEL You want some? DEAN Amphetamines? 2014!CASTIEL It’s the perfect antidote to that absinthe. DEAN Mmm. Don’t get me wrong, Cas. I, uh. I’m happy that the stick is out of your ass, but—what’s going on—w-with the drugs and the orgies and the love-guru crap? 2014!CASTIEL laughs. DEAN What’s so funny? 2014!CASTIEL Dean, I’m not an angel anymore. DEAN What? 2014!CASTIEL Yeah, I went mortal. DEAN What do you mean? How? 2014!CASTIEL I think it had something to do with the other angels leaving. But when they bailed, my mojo just kind of— psshhew!—drained away. And now, you know, I’m practically human. I mean, Dean, I’m all but useless. Last year, broke my foot, laid up for two months. DEAN Wow. 2014!CASTIEL Yeah. DEAN So, you’re human. Well, welcome to the club. 2014!CASTIEL Thanks. Except I used to belong to a much better club. And now I’m powerless. I’m hapless, I’m hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It’s the end, baby. That’s what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that’s, that’s just how I roll.

Now, we can try to extrapolate that it’s “all the drugs,” but drugs or not, while decadence includes MORAL decline, it also is this:

dec·a·dence ˈdekədəns/Submit noun moral or cultural decline as characterized by excessive indulgence in pleasure or luxury.

And Cas doesn’t get words wrong (unless he’s trying to make an awkward conversation starter with Dean as what’s almost a routine for them, always in idioms and never in definition). In fact, he has a very on-point vocabulary. How often does someone evoke “Insouciant”?

Calling it decadence defines this as a luxury to Castiel. The entire episode is like One Giant Exposition of the differences: being breakable, prone to decadence, bang a few gongs on the way out. Yes, it includes drugs; hell, he’s now subject to being INFLUENCED by drugs, contrary to being able to drink down the entire bar before “starting to feel something” or needing to drink the whole liquor store before the grace stopped implicitly filtering it enough for him to stagger in on Sam. At some point, Castiel decided these were ALL his coping mechanisms, but this is an adaptation of some period of humanization between late 2009 and 2014.

This could be considered a one-off of Zachariah’s manipulation or whatever if we choose to ignore Edlund saying it was a real universe, but then we get the SAME THING hitting us again in season 9, if under a different, immediate scope rather than “end result.”

9.01 CASTIEL looks at his bloody palm. CASTIEL It hurts. (…) MAN How about we get you some water, hmm? CASTIEL I, uh, I don’t drink water. (…) CASTIEL It’s okay. I don’t eat.

and

9.03 CASTIEL (Chewing on the toothpaste) I’ll be moving on tonight after work. It’s time. The MAN nods and hangs up his towel. CASTIEL Can I ask you something? MAN Sure. CASTIEL walks into one of the bathroom stalls. CASTIEL Do you ever tire of urinating? I’ll never get used to it. (…) HOMELESS MAN You’re new at this, aren’t you? CASTIEL Food… sleep, or passing gas, it’s all very strange. And it’s occurred to me that one day I’m gonna die. CASTIEL and the HOMELESS MAN just look at each other curiously. CASTIEL Well… I better try falling asleep. It’s quite a process, isn’t it? (…)

Now, we’re going to take to the raw moment of Castiel and April,

She kisses him gently on the cheek, but stays close and eventually kisses him on the lips. CASTIEL seems surprised at first but then joins in.

Cas is surprised… and then joins in. Castiel did not expect this, but falls into it of his own action. No force was implied, and the moment leading into it was all of a few seconds, rather than any persistence or insistence.

A few more bits,

APRIL So, that was okay? CASTIEL Very much so. Um… what I did, that was, uh… correct? APRIL Very much so. CASTIEL (Smiling) (…) APRIL So what happens next for you? CASTIEL More of this, I hope. They smile and start making out again.

I don’t exactly get the feeling that she’s entirely leading this situation on all by herself, to the dismay of several gatekeeper ship or sexuality stans.

More elements with regards to humanity in this episode,

CASTIEL I am really enjoying this place. Plentiful food. Good water pressure. Things I never even considered before. There really is a lot to being human, isn’t there? DEAN It ain’t all just burritos and strippers, my friend. CASTIEL Yeah. I understand what you’re saying. SAM You do? CASTIEL Yes, there’s more to humanity than survival. You… look for purpose, and you must not be defeated by anger or despair. Or hedonism, for that matter. DEAN Where does hedonism come into it? CASTIEL Well, my time with April was very educational. SAM Yeah. I mean, I would think that getting killed is something. CASTIEL And having sex. DEAN chokes on his burrito for a second. DEAN You had sex with April? SAM Yeah, that would be where the hedonism comes in.

This isn’t just Castiel talking about having sex for the first time. This is Castiel acknowledging the allure of hedonism for the first time (…not minding the timewarp of 5.04, which didn’t happen Because AU.)

And here, also 9.03, before meeting April CASTIEL is once again wandering through the noise and the people. He is trying to take everything in – he glances from a hot dog stand to a woman’s breasts to a supermarket. The whole place is noisy and crowded and confusing. He is overwhelmed.

In 9.03, among this onslaught of Castiel’s change in visual, sound, sensory, and other instinctual acknowledgment of a change in the senses (see back to the 3Fold Nature and the acquisition of a human soul), we also get Castiel rubbernecking at a woman’s chest for the first time, before encountering April; the transcript doesn’t do the moment proper justice with the pure level of focus directors and editors called to it. In fact, we get slow camera pan and a rubberneck that might as well have ended with him walking-flipping into a trashcan blindside.

With all of these stacked connotations aside, I find it difficult to interpret anything but it being installed as a yet-again evocation of a difference in function.

Episodes 1 and 3, the first two episodes Castiel is in during season 9 after losing his grace at the end of season 8, DELUGE us with a current of differences of all of his sensory faculties.

Once his state is “corrected,” (for lack of a better term - Castiel seems to yearn for his humanity back through the show) the show makes a point of showing us a reversal as applicable,

SAM What? What are you talking about? CASTIEL When I was human, you know, I had to eat constantly. It was kind of annoying. SAM Yeah, a lot of human things are pretty annoying. CASTIEL But…I enjoyed the taste of food – particularly peanut butter with grape jelly, not jam. Jam I found unsettling. SAM [sitting on the table next to CASTIEL] So, what? Now you can’t taste PB and J? CASTIEL No, I-I taste every molecule. SAM Not the sum of its parts, huh? CASTIEL It’s overwhelming. It’s disgusting. [looks longingly at the sandwich] I miss you, PB and J.

Once again, paradigm shift. What he once appreciated, amidst the VAST wash of senses they told us about, just seems… null now. Something is missing, and something is different. Again, the universe can no longer experience ITSELF.

Now, I’m going to fall back a bit to cover what would possibly be framed as an argument against all of this, but frankly builds into it,

Back in season 6, Meg was UNABASHEDLY FLIRTING WITH CASTIEL and trying to prompt him to “move some furniture around,” and, in a learned “last night on earth” move, Castiel makes a motion in 6.10

Meg grabs Castiel by the neck and kisses him, at the same time removing his sword. Castiel pushes her up against the wall and returns the kiss with interest. MEG: What was that? CASTIEL: I learned that from the pizza man.

NOTICE. LEARNED THAT.

With FORWARD PROMPTING from Meg, and existing example (porn), Castiel did in fact make a move. That is to say, “learned behaviors” and “personal orientation” beyond “species reproductive instinct”. But as made clear by April, this never led anywhere particular, never completed, and while he expressed wanting repeats with April during being human, this is the only actual example we have of it.

In short: throughout the show, Castiel finds new things and tests new things. These new things become bizarre little childlike obsessions at times even. This one… obviously a little less childlike. (clears throat) But again, this is a process of “learned motion.” (though I’m somewhat disturbed that canonically Emmanuel-Cas sees her face and is absolutely horrified at her appearance, meaning this is also not likely even by nature of physical/spiritual attraction as much as personal, almost a demisexual trait with experimental curiosity which, as an independent idea beyond “holy shit she’s a demon”, is a healthy phase.)

But by way of learned motion/acquired taste and function, we then have the question of “why doesn’t Cas repeat this if he clearly enjoyed season 9?” Well, I can name a few. We can go over the fact that Cas simply doesn’t explore social venues that make it ready. Or we can mention his seeming lack of compulsion for it which ...is a topic of this post. Or we can simply reflect to the *challenges* of hedonism and what it will, in this post, continue to implicitly adventure as the cage and trappings of the human body and experience within what we call “life”, which the human soul extends well beyond.

But it leads us to an interesting series of questions about Castiel and Dean’s seemingly changed interactions in season 12, on a subliminal level.

And no, I’m not implying they’re boning. When Dean is no longer getting strung across a variety of cosmic elements to save him directly from the crosshairs of, or from himself, we’re getting this weird vibe of gruff jealousy, bickering, and infighting. As if Castiel, settling in more among them, is channeling increased humanity. Despite being an angel in some crippled capacity still, personality traits acquired from his human period are still there, leading to believe the soul element never ENTIRELY disappeared, as much as with further ding-dang-donged up grace, we have to wonder - is this almost a sliding scale? Or can both run mutually when one doesn’t overshadow the other? The exact specifics of this mechanic would be unclear.

But all of these complexities is why I find it nearly impossible to, in my head, reduce it to the simple “well some like it and-” because I have always read an intentional base-beat of differentiation between the human and angelic experience including, but not limited to, sex.

There’s a subtle hint of some osmosis of this in what I mentioned above with Hannah. “Perhaps I’ve been with them too long.”

CASTIEL

Well, perhaps I’ve been down here with them for too long. There’s seemingly nothing but chaos. But not all bad comes from it. Art. Hope. Love. Dreams.

HANNAH

But t-those are human things.

CASTIEL

Yes.

And so why I find it impossible to just address “angel sexuality” as its own topic. This may just be my brain at work, but I don’t see all of this effort in dividing their experiences, in a show that addresses theology and concepts like the human soul, to be arbitrary and random and I just see SO much beautiful complexity IN the shift of his sexual behaviors, among other operations. It’s not just about Castiel’s sexuality, it’s about addressing the complex creatures that are humans, and what builds us at a core. Frankly, from that end, it doesn’t matter if Cas is bi, ace, straight or pan – Castiel has been human, and wants to be so again. And it, along with other things littered throughout the show, have given us great insights on the soul, or the lack thereof, and all of these beautiful building blocks.

And so to roll away from approaching sexuality so heavily, and instead ball and bundle that up as part of the human experience within the body, the reflection of the human soul, I hook again: The universe can not experience itself more than Windows OS can experience itself; it requires the essence of man to experience the result of the work of grace and by which it finds many things of itself, even within the trappings of a human life.

The fact that humans are afterwards caged elsewhere is a whole other discussion me and others have been holding in the original linked post, so let's step away from that and instead go back to the concept of, far and away beyond sexuality, what makes a soul, and how is it different from the created universe.

If we were to apply these concepts -- angels, bodies of grace, as parts of the universe and how it functions -- versus the irrevocable free will fundamental to the human soul, dividing bodies from just being roving parts of the construct like Gabriel's realms -- to our dialogue in regards to Castiel as our seeming oddball with a crack in his chassis, "And the universe came to humanity, and laid hands on humanity, and fell in love with humanity to come to know it; it abandoned its own purpose and functions due to this connection to the concept of the human soul, and began to live and dream and love as a man, rebelling against its predesigned function; and one day, the orphic child of both the universe and man looked through the eyes of the universe to first see man, and itself was born from the universe unto man, to live and learn as a man and hold its dominion of both human sovereignty and creator of grace, mastering both realms." in regards to Jack's very creation, and why he is such a huge threat to Chuck's power and control of his realm.

As a powerful creature of grace, he can take and reroute those elements without issue by authoritative command of the independent liberty of the human soul, free thinking and not just a Doctor Sexy Nurse in motion.

But the question is conversion, which we've seen in both directions, be it Castiel acquiring a human soul or Jack converting humans into angels with his command of both of these dominions. The best I could liken it to is AC/DC energy conversion. It is worth noting, however -- grace can be drained without permission, it is not tied to freedom. Humanity is the body of choice: be that humans choosing to surrender that in the name of glory and power to simply become part of universal functions, which isn't so different from choosing to burn one's own soul away in the name of spells, magic or other power; or the human spirit attached to its cage of a body and life still needing to concede and give permission to be taken BY the forces of the universe, surrendering the potential impact of their own choices within their own moving cage to what the universe would will of it.

Ironically, if you use an AC inverter to power a computer or television, the power supply in the device is converting the 120-volt alternating current into a much lower voltage direct current. The sensitive electronic circuits in these devices need low, regulated voltages to work, so you're actually converting DC to AC so it can be changed back into DC again. You can't use straight direct current without the AC to DC inverter because the device's power supply needs the AC power in order to properly step down and regulate the voltage. That is to say, in conversion parts are lost, but they can still be transmitted; so while Castiel was subject to the human experience, he still struggled with parts like dreaming. It was a young, small spark of a soul, converted from another energy form, and likely with his connection to Dean acting as the inverter.

Demons go to the empty; demons are former human souls that corrupted and lost the light that made them inherently "good." That which defines them. They have collapsed to the pressures of Chuck's universes and let their flame go out. But realistically, that's also antagonized by other human souls in hell trying to escape their own torment.

It has been seen, time and again, that the only thing that can destroy a human soul is... the human soul.

*takes a breath*

And now to explore what @curioussubjects has been saying about The Shadow as a recycling Bin of souls, which would predate the universe and even Chuck, I simply repeat this segment, to help master-off this post:

If we take the Shadow as the reflection of the collective soul, which then becomes the substantiative Prima Materia through which all things come (x), including even the potential of Chuck and Amara as manifestations of the primitive concept of masculine and feminine, light and dark as among the first thoughts in the cosmos. But in such by it all things are born, even the universe or the gods, in this proposed theory. It is the primitive self asking (per the far-above chart), first–well, WTF, why am I thinking, but after that – who are they, and then who am I, and then eventually who are you, before the end of the soul’s journey on its path is Who Art Thou, long ventured within the constructed realm to learn what it means that we even exist.

Those first thoughts then create the totemic pillars of creation by which it can explore the very meaning of existence, even if its own thoughts have made cages and trappings for itself in the expansion of infinite time, but those cages are themselves the vehicles of higher learning and experience, and without those cages, the rest is for naught.

This is the nature of the Prima Materia, the One Thing by which all comes which I linked above. If the soul and Prima Materia are synonymous, then while the universe comes by grace, then all things -- even grace -- come by way of the raw template of the collective soul, which then structures all resulting thought and experience through an infinite series of independent human experience that defines who were are, independent to ourselves, beyond the vat of primitive consciousness that binds us.

The question even comes, why not just reset time? But I am good with who I am. I am good with who you are. This isn't just a story. It's our lives. So god or no god, you go to hell.

And so the reincarnate journey of the man, through the many deaths and rebirths of Sam and Dean and lessons gained within the universe, begins to lock on to the meaning of the independent self in what it means in full, beyond the challenges sent by the creator that may very well be a reflection of our own primal thoughts, our doubts, our fears, our internalized challenges not too unlike the Shadow which again I raise, and point back to the above-linked protogenic discussion of the masculine and feminine paths: In this premise, are Chuck and Amara anything less than the Animus and Anima of humanity, should the Shadow be their forefather?

The path of alchemy, before it became pursuit of literal gold, was about self completion and sovereignty. The phases I have listed above, as well as a brief overview of Dabb's use of it, but if anyone wants a visual aide in these, check out these three videos (x) (x) (x) and remember that Chuck desperately wants them to believe that nothing Gold can stay, should it complete this path; because should man become Gold, they also become God, and he has no authority here. Because in the end, if we abandon the cages -- be it human bodies or heaven -- in here, in this headspace that is Chuck's, we're all just projections of the primitive man trying to find our independent meaning in life. So in here, we're all the same. So in here, Chuck's all talk. And Chuck's afraid, and even wounded by elements of his own creation fallen into the free hands of man.

And so to FULLY hook back, the effects of the fall --

To be detached in various tiers from the divine spheres of constructed intent, and surrendered unto man, or touched by man, or tied to man, or even converted unto man simply seems to be removing the lines of code that defines the constructed universe and instead leaves only the experience of soul, be it directly gained or by proxy. And with that comes many things -- be that the oft-discussed sexuality of angels or any of their other senses, but also their ability like Castiel to understand "complex" ideas like independent thought and function that is otherwise like "explaining poetry to fish" to his kin. I remind you of Agent Smith in the Matrix, who was essentially infected with the power of the One that completely started warping the laws of the universe and, eventually, left the universe, to become the body of man outside of the universe.

It is the universe falling into man, as man at some point seems to have fallen into the universe. And their child now waits beyond the universe, holding council with Death and the Inky Man over what to do from here.

The human experience is double-sided. By it we learn, experience, and exist; but as chuck designed the sandbox, so too did he the bodies as cages. So be that "hedonism" or anything else, these are limitations and bindings. It is not the limits themselves, as much as what we learn in facing them, that becomes who we are as people, and what meaning we bring to our own existence. And this, some angels themselves have chosen to convert and surrender themselves to, some more successfully than others, but the ultimate point between all of them is "Free Will", whether they like PBJ, sex, or good water pressure at the same time -- something that only comes from divorcing themselves from the divine spheres, when otherwise they're numb to bullets or a knife through the heart. The universe simply operates. Man experiences. The universe learns more of itself only by way of man, as man learns the universe.

There are those who fall that do not embrace humanity, but instead explore their creation. These are rogue programs, but still limited in their function. Be that angling out a line at a river, or just needling humanity as lesser ants. But these do not come to the same essence of humanity that those who choose to fall into it and truly experience it do. They still lack a great deal of motivation or purpose, as in breaking away from their programming without gaining genuine compulsion to want, to seek, to find, they find fascinations between their own strips of code that immerse themselves in, and sit, and observe, still not too unlike Anna before completely divorcing herself from her grace.

It is humanity, be it indirect or direct, that proxies the ability to experience, desire, and enjoy, and that more than anything is the nature of man and his power. It is the path of the Soul between Gevurah and Hesed; from the divine spheres descending, passive intellect and active intellect from the different pillars, and hidden higher learnings, reach by way of Spirit and Mind towards the individual self, strapped across passive and active emotion to learn the individual self. From the angle of man, in the material world, and the body as a manifestation of it, our ego, identity, and other evolutions of the mind TOWARDS the self of individuality lead from Tiferet, by path of the soul, into those emotions to climb the tree towards the divine self. Hell, I'll repost the chart so you don't have to scroll.

Castiel, the consciousness of the divine, with active spirit and mind, and intellect, descended towards the individual self within the realm of ego and super ego, and learned of them through Dean Winchester, while hedging at the sphere of emotional complexes and the identity of the self by which he chose to fall into the world and humanity, into and below and between the cross paths of the soul, and in those paths attained a soul. Dean Winchester, on the other hand, was lifted to explore the upper spheres in reverse, to understand the divine self gradually, and with time, as we now prepare to face within season 15.

Man is freedom. And some fall into it. But man can conquer the tree of his own ironic fashioning. The only absolute is what thou wills of it.

The rest is commentary.

Let there be gold. But all that is gold does not glimmer.

#supernatural #spn #meta #my meta #mine #pagan life #souls #angels #the fall #tree of life #spirit #mind #body #physical realm #hermeticism #qabbalah

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devinstonerpg · 4 years

Photo

INTRODUCING,

NAME: William Wolf Jr..

AGE: 27.

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Cis male, he/him.

ORIGINALLY FROM: Pittsburgh, PA.

OCCUPATION: Paramedic.

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Cherry Park.

“Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you.”

BIOGRAPHY,

Somebody as odd as William Wolf should arguably not be able to exude the confidence that he does: to the very limits of its definition. But as his father always said, he carried not only the soul and spirit of himself but his late namesake and uncle, taken too soon from this earth because of his own stupidity, which is something that regularly almost takes Wolfie out of this world too, to seemingly further prove a point. Life had his odds stacked against him at this point, though. Born a hemophiliac, more commonly known as a bleeder, there seemed to be no day in his life post infancy that his body was not riddled in bruises as though he had just lost the boxing match of a lifetime. It did absolutely nothing to halt his temper or ambition to get in as many fights as humanly possible for a little boy, making the hospital essentially a second home with its emergency and pediatrics staff as his adopted family. Seeing these people tending to even the most idiotic of people, like him, with such patience and care planted the seed for Wolfie to pursue his entire life.

Between high school drama, a few more visits to the E.R. and walking through life as if he did not have a debilitating genetic disorder that seemed to want to kill him even more than his tendency to stir up fights with snarky remarks and sleeping with just one too many taken people did, what to do with his future faded into the background for most of his teenage years. It only came back in the dooming glory of how it did for most people: junior year of high school college prep. To this day, Wolfie will continue to say (and most likely never stop) that the world lost out on a hell of a doctor or nurse in him, which is only his way of saying he would have never and never will think twice about attending college. It was an earth-shattering realization at about age sixteen that he would neither be able to finance a degree in any form whatsoever nor muster the patience to solely sit in classrooms for at least four additional years after the taste of freedom that would be high school graduation, but one that he got over quite quickly given its impact. He toyed around with ideas of similar backgrounds, becoming a hospital corpsman in the military for one, with complete disregard of his inability to enlist or the fact that his nature in an aggressive, almost all-male environment would have him bloody and bruised faster than he could yell “Medic” to save his life. Another one, becoming a paramedic, which seemed more realistic but also needed him to churn out about two more years of training.

Choosing neither in the meantime, It was bussing tables at too fancy restaurants for him to eat in, life-guarding during the summer and reception shifts during the nights for a year and a half in which most students his age fled to colleges. He knew that this was not how his life was supposed to play out but stuck in the strut of freedom of choice, there was this and that that he still had to try out before getting serious. Stories to be collected for his potential children to tell and know, that their father was slightly bat-shit crazy. Without anything permanent tying him down, it was a month here, a season there, living with friends and other relatives. In the end, it took almost two years and a burst of tears from his mother on a trip home, crying that her one and only son would end up a deadbeat, for Wolfie to shift in gears and start the EMT training, that had been his plan B at the back of his mind since sixteen.

Until recently, Wolfie worked in air ambulances for quite some time up to one particular incident which just proved his father’s spirit suspicion right once again and fell into the category of mildly life-threatening. It did not leave any marks, other than the usual nasty-looking bruises and some cuts, but it did ban him from any further duty in the air and seemed like a natural transition for him to pursue something new. Having found his profession already, it was the change in scenery that he’d previously put on pause that was next in-store. Despite his best efforts not to, almost seven years did mature Wolfie in some way or another; less abrasive, more gentle and a good portion of sensibility added. No longer the snot-nosed newbie in the ambulance, the chaos in his professional life called for a little order in his personal life. Never once before in his life had Wolfie thought of moving anywhere besides the big city, but now, on a whim idea that it might have some sort of positive effect, found himself signing a lease in idyllic Devinstone. What that effect might be? He definitely does not know, but there is only hoping for better than mildly life-threatening.

+ empathetic, earnest, self-assured. - quarrelsome, impatient, headstrong.

PLAYED BY: Julie.

FACE CLAIM: Jannis Niewöhner.

#m #cherry park

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kimivicious · 5 years

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Jaime is still a good man: an essay

Alright y’all. After last nights episode there are some things we need said. Has everyone else had their own take? Well of course. Is this just my own rehashing of, likely, everyone else’s thoughts? Probably. Am I gunna tell it to you anyway? You betcha.

Ayyy, so Game of Thrones Season 8, Episode 4 spoilers below. You’ve been warned! Also, this got so much longer than I anticipated. Sorry not sorry.

So we’ve got a mixed bag here, half gong off the rails ready to raise arms against Jaime and the other half ready to bear arms for the man. After all the previous seasons, after watching him from from the man who pushed Bran out the window to the man who laid down his life for people who hated him, I’m among those who are taking up arms for our man. Lemme just give y’all my reasons why in this fab little essay, aight? You’re free to agree or disagree, but understand that Jaime is still my main man and I still believe in him.

You can’t tell me that Jaime’s natural reaction to potential disaster isn’t, protect her. That is exactly what he’s off to do. Could he have done it better? In his mind, no. His goal, in my opinion, is the force Brienne is stay behind, not to follow and have to worry over her. She stays in Winterfell, she survives. If she hates him for it, at least she lives to do so.

The whole scene with Jaime coming upon Sansa and Brienne talking about what went down in King’s Landing I feel is proof of all this. I don’t see Jaime as having to chose to idly sit behind while other’s marked on King’s Landing and towards Cersei if he’d have thought it was going to go violently sideways, Jaime’s had a discussion with someone. There’s a contingency plan in place. He was hoping (praying) to the Seven that Dany was just going to get out there and fuck shit up, but because we all know (and he knows, and everyone knows) that this just isn’t the way Westeros works. So there’s a plan, and that plan likely involves what could very potentially be a suicide mission. Y’all gunna tell me that if Jaime were to have told Brienne he was going to King’s Landing to stab Cersei in her eye she wouldn’t have demanded leave to go with him? That she would have just let him go and face this danger alone? She’s devoted to House Stark, to Lady Sansa yes, but the war is no longer in the North. Sansa has protectors and I could see Brienne charging Pod with Sansa’s protection in her absence. Brienne would have absolutely fought beside and for Jaime and the last thing he wanted, especially after the Battle at Winterfell, was to put her in yet another position where she could die. This is the only woman who’s loved Jaime unconditionally. Brienne’s love came without strings attached, without bids for power or manipulation. It’s all that’s good and pure, just like her and he can’t stand the idea of her going to fight and possibly die just because he’s gone. Cersei is his sister and now that shit has gone sideways, he’s got to buckle down and take care of family business.

Let’s back it up a tad, shall we? Let’s go to the scene where Tyrion and Jaime are having a nice chat and our dear Bronn interrupts them. When Jaime left Cersei, she told him she’d kill him. With Bronn now before them, crossbow in hand and demands on his lips he has now been assured that Cersei now views him in the same way she views Tyrion; as a traitor. Cersei has forgiven Jaime for what she feels are trespasses in the past, but it’s all a game of manipulation. She’s done so because it was in her best interest to do it, but now with Jaime’s sword hand gone and his honor rekindled now that he’s not beneath her thumb 24/7, she knows he’s lost to her. She’s underhanded and he knows this, and if her true nature wasn’t revealed in this instance I don’t know what else he’d need. She’s straight murder him, the man she claimed to share a soul with, a love so deep and profound others couldn’t understand. She’d murder him for that crown and he absolutely knows this. He also knows that when it comes to him, there’s a chance, however slim, that she might have a moment of weakness. If not a moment of weakness, at least a moment of foolishness. Cersei may very well let him close to her if only to gloat. To ask him how the Battle at Winterfell went down, to laugh in his face how he’d turned on her and how, in her mind, she’s won even without him.

Jaime has spent years becoming the man he’d wanted to be when he was young. When he’d been Knighted, when he’d become the youngest member of the Kingsguard. He has realized his sister’s toxicity and though at first he didn’t want to believe it, I think he’s come to terms with it. Jaime isn’t the smartest Lannister, but he isn’t stupid. He’s a brilliant tactician and he’s not going into this blindly.

He’d wanted to stay at Winterfell with Brienne and had Dany and Jon succeeded in what they’d sought to do, he would have. He’d have stayed a guest at Winterfell until the end of his days, alongside Brienne and bitching about the cold north every day just so he could lay beside Brienne and sap her warmth at night. Of course, nothing ever goes as planned and there has to be a contingency plan if you want to survive. Jaime is working that contingency plan. He’s laid himself bare for Brienne before hand, telling her literally every bad deed he’s ever done and why. I don’t think he feels he’s going to come back from this and he didn’t want her to have a misconstrued notion of him. Has he grown as a man and a person? Yes. Even he sees that. Does that erase the things he’s done in the past? No, and he sees that as well. The only person who knows him in and out was Cersei. The only who who knew all the horrible, terrible deeds he’d committed wad Cersei. Now? Now Brienne knows it all. His goal, I think, was to ensure she didn’t go after him. He’s trying to convince her that he’s not that man she thinks he is because of his past deeds even though we all know, he knows, that this is what makes him the man she knows him to be. He doesn’t want Brienne go lay down her pure, honorable life for him. Can we blame him? Can we blame him for breaking her heart to try and save her life? In his eyes, this is the best he can give her if he can’t give himself over to her forever. He would have, he absolutely would have if he’d have thought he couldn’t do anything to aid them in King’s Landing. But Jaime is a good man and he wants to do the right thing.

Brienne still believes the things she said to him in those last moments. She’s watched him grow and though he’s broken her heart, she’s going to pick those pieces up and put them back together. She’s beside herself in that moment, overcome with emotion because she’s never had to deal with these things. She’s never truly loved like she’s loved Jaime and while she’s hurt right now, I think she’s going to get up and realize what he’s trying to do. I think she’s going to go to Sansa and request leave to go to King’s Landing. She’ll ask Pod to take over her current duties to the Lady of Winterfell and protect Sansa with his life. She’s trained Pod and he’s a good man and a good knight. He will devote himself to Sansa every bit as much and as well as Brienne ever had. Brienne is going to armor up, strap on Oathkeeper and ride to King’s Landing because yes, Jaime did this to keep her away from the battle but she’ll be damned if she let’s him make that decision for her. She’s going to show him that she is his equal. She is not a Lady that is in need of his protection, no matter how noble the idea. Though I do feel most of Jaime’s reasoning for all his harsh truths stems a great deal from selfishness more than nobility or honor (he simply doesn’t want to put her in a position to be killed), there is definitely still a man who doesn’t think he deserves to have her fighting by his side, laying down her life for him. Because he knows that’s exactly why she’d have followed him to King’s Landing. Not for the Dragon Queen, not for the Starks, but to protect him and while that is why he loves her, it’s also why he had to try and keep her away. Brienne of Tarth, in Jaime’s mind, has no business dying for the Kingslayer.

With any luck, Brienne is going to go to King’s Landing and tell this idiot that he doesn’t make her decisions for her and that she’s going to fight beside him whether he likes it or not. We’ll get a fabulous, explosive argument and maybe that with end in all those confessed feelings we’ve wanted from day one. Is this a dream? Maybe, but I feel like it’s definitely plausible. This show is going to end in two episodes whether we like it or not, and death is coming for so many of the people we’ve grown to love and hate over the last few years. To give us at least one bright point wouldn’t demean the rest of the sacrifices made up until these last episodes.

tl;dr? Jaime Lannister is still a good man who loves Brienne and has every intention of helping dethrone his insane sister. Fight me.

#got spoilers #jaime x brienne #brienne x jaime #Jaime Lannister #brienne of tarth #syndal says #jaime lanniser is a good man #fight me

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 5 years

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Shadowhunters 3x20, City of Glass -- Review

Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m super late on this. Really, I’ve been really bad for all of 3B on doing these in a timely manner but can you really blame me? 3B sucks. It’s easily the worst season of Shadowhunters. While previous seasons of Shadowhunters have never been shining examples of great story-telling but at least things were happening and I didn’t hate the main characters.

As always, this is a critical review of Shadowhunters. I’m not a fan of this show, have never pretended to be. If you stan this show, that’s perfectly fine, we like what we like. I’m not going to stop you from reading this (I can’t, really) but I will caution you against it. These are my opinions. They may be unpopular. There will also be spoilers for the episode and possibly for the books. Read at your own risk.

So there were a couple of moments in this episode I didn’t hate. It’s still a bad episode of TV but there were moments where it engaged in some more ridiculous bits that made me remember why I decided to keep with the show. The show can be so ridiculous it’s funny and that’s what I enjoy about this show. If this show would learn to not take itself so seriously while being ridiculous, this would actually be a pretty fun show. But ultimately, this episode does this thing where it executes things in the most non-epic way possible and it’s just really boring to watch for the most part.

The Dark!Clary I Never Wanted

So we got dark!Clary which was ultimately pretty boring. Most of the things she was just doing were cliché things and being evil just for the sake of being evil. Dark!Clary is really only here for the purpose of shock value and it’s not actually meant to develop her character in any way. The show tries to retcon their bad story-telling in that regard but they’re a couple of seasons too late trying to build up that Clary chose to let the mark take over because she wanted a family so badly and she couldn’t tell that her family was the friends she made. Considering Jocelyn has barely had a mention since her death and it’s never been noted that Clary feels alone with little to no family left, I have to call bull shit on that, writers. It would’ve been a nice character arc if it was developed but the way they tried to execute it in this episode is lazy and indicative once again that they never want Clary to be seen as anything less than this ideal and perfect creature of pure light (and as I’ve said time and time again, Clary is not a character meant to be portrayed that way, there is darkness in her and Clary would be such a fascinating character if the show would just let her be the flawed, selfish, self-centered creature she really is).

But it is a nice sentiment that the people who love Clary band together to try and save her although how that all happened was really just non-epic. Clary and Izzy twirl swords and kindjals around for a little bit and Clary brags about how she’s grown to be a better fighter than Izzy and I fail to see what’s new about that. Clary Sue has always been ridiculously over-skilled when it came to fighting, anyway. It’s hardly news that of course she would surpass Izzy because the narrative demands that she does. Like I said, it’s a nice sentiment that everyone is showing up to try and help free Clary but ultimately it’s kind of pointless for them to be there since none of them are able to break her free from the influence of the mark. Only when Jace stabs her in the shoulder severing the link is when Clary breaks free. From a character development standpoint, having everyone there is really just pointless. They’re not really doing anything impactful. And I just wish we had gotten more of a high-stakes approach to stabbing Clary with that sword. A very similar scene occurs in Book 5, City of Lost Souls when Jace is the one in Clary’s position and Clary is faced with the conflict of Jace being controlled by Jonathon. She spends most of the book unable to let him go and is obsessed with trying to save him and refuses to acknowledge that she may not be able to break Jace free and refuses to even consider killing Jace. But by the end of the book, she’s faced with the consequences of letting Jace run around under Jonathon’s control and how it’s now having very serious repercussions on the world. She’s armed with Glorious but she has no idea if Glorious will kill him if she stabs him but she ultimately decides to take that risk because she realizes that the real Jace buried underneath that control wouldn’t want to live the rest of his life being controlled like this and helping to destroy a world he vowed to protect. So she stabs him. In the show, we don’t really get any mention of the consequence of stabbing Clary with Glorious. Even just a scene where Jace has a conversation with Alec about how he he’s afraid to do this to Clary would’ve been enough to give some stakes to this situation but alas, Shadowhunters and high stakes with consequences? Please. But Glorious gets rid of the mark and Jonathon for some reason, grows wings. Yeah, I don’t get it, either. Because we just need to further demonize him, I guess? Subtlety, the show’s achilles heel. And the Morgenstern sword conveniently can open rifts to and from the hell dimensions. But honestly, at this point, I really didn’t expect anything better from Shadowhunters. This show has always been super ridiculous and convenient with the abilities of its historical relics. But it does beg the question. Jonathon is only ripping holes in the dimension because Clary reverted back to her original self. So provided Clary hadn’t changed back, what on earth was their plan? What was their endgame? How can we go an entire season without the villain actually having a villainous plan?

Glorious also explodes and shrapnel gets embedded in Izzy’s back while she’s trying to protect Simon so of course, cue the obligatory Sizzy scene.

Malec Gets Back Together

I think I said in the previous episode that surely Magnus couldn’t be so stupid as to not even consider that Alec breaking up with him and Asmodeus’s presence isn’t a coincidence. Well, I was wrong. Magnus really is that stupid. And even worse, it takes Maryse pointing it out to him before he figures it out so this kind of implies that without Maryse, he was never going to figure it out. And this show also does this really irritating thing where no conversation can occur between two people without a third person prompting it. Simon can only make a move on Izzy because his sister tells him to. Magnus can only talk to Alec about this break-up because of Maryse opening his eyes.

But by the end of the episode, Malec gets back together and having learned absolutely nothing from their conflicts this season. They just pick up right where they left off. Magnus doesn’t acknowledge how his actions while being without his magic made Alec feel like crap. Well, Alec does learn that Magnus can’t function without his magic and that he’ll always be second-place when it comes to Magnus’s magic but guys, it’s all okay because Magnus has his magic back so there’s no point in talking about that anymore. Explain to me why it’s a good idea for these two to get married when they can’t go through a single conflict without ever actually dealing with it? I really hate drama for the sake of drama and it doesn’t lead to character growth. But that’s Shadowhunters for you. These writers are above character growth, after all.

And Magnus banishes Asmodeus back to Edom with his WonderWoman powers, so aside from the fact that I don’t understand how he could overpower a prince of hell, it was a cool special effect, so I’ll give the show that.

More Bullshit With Maia

So after choosing to be with Jordan (a very poor choice to begin with but whatever) Jordan eventually dies. How messed up is that? Jordan asks to continue their relationship knowing he didn’t have much time left. Who does that? Oh right, an abuser who doesn’t respect their partner does that. And Maia gets through this by claiming she’s an alpha. Which you know, I would be living for except she’s done absolutely nothing to prove that she’s worthy of the alpha position. She’s had moments when she questions leadership but she’s never once done anything that shows she would make a good leader which is why it was so important for her character arc that she have that fight with the alpha but instead the writers chose to just kill off the entire pack? So while I’m all for Maia calling herself an alpha, it’s also something that leaves me feeling empty because Maia hasn’t proven herself at all yet to be a capable leader. But then again, she’s learned her leadership capabilities from Luke, so that’s already setting the bar pretty low (Luke was a terrible alpha, there, I said it).

City of Glass

So that epic scene in the third book where demons attacking Idris is finally here. And I don’t hate aspects of these moments. Finally, we get something with actual consequences and stakes. And for once, our “heroes” are faced with a conflict that they don’t know if they can overcome. This is also when the ridiculous parts of the episode starts coming in. I could not take those cannons seriously and I loved it. I missed being able to laugh at this show.

But in these moments is also where it’s shown that our “heroes” are just kind of the worst. We have dragons attacking in every direction in Alicante, people are being slaughtered left and right, and all our heroes can do as this is happening all around them is to give grand sweeping love proclamations. Entirely too much time is spent on Helen and Aline expecting they were totally not making out (even though we all know they were and I don’t even know why I’m supposed to care, these characters are barely characters). Your city is on fire, I think you have bigger issues. Then we have Clace exchanging cheesy lines in the middle of everything on fire. And Malec makes up and also proposes to each other while everything is burning. Sheesh, priorities people. But the episode leaves off with Magnus travelling to Edom to close the rift because he conveniently has the power to do that.

And just as a sidenote, I didn’t particularly enjoy Magnus’s entrance in the City of Glass fight. It just really devalued Izzy and Alec taking their stand. At least let them get a few kills in before Magnus saves them. Alec makes this grand sweeping statement about them being Lightwoods and that they can handle this and then Magnus swoops in and saves the day and it’s just like, “why?” They were having a moment. I was looking for some epic Lightwood sibling bad-assery but, nope. Shadowhunters has no concept on how to execute an epic scene, I have no idea on why I possibly thought they would.

There were a couple of fun ridiculous moments that I enjoyed in this episode but ultimately, we just got more of the same bland writing we’ve been getting throughout season 3 and I am so glad this showis about to end. Character development continues to be something of a myth on this show. This show gets a C. Just kinda average, I guess.

But on to the final two episodes. I cannot tell you how anxious I am to finally be done with this show. Season 1 and 2A was fun and trashy but now this show is just dull and empty. It’s for the best it was cancelled and I can only hope it’ll fade away into internet obscurity.

#shadowhunters #shadowhunters 3x20 #shadowhunters 3.20 #shadowhunters city of glass #city of glass

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winterscripted-blog · 5 years

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Since the 40s

Bucky Barnes x Reader,

Soulmate Au, Bucky’s point of view

Simple feel good (bittersweet?) fluff for my cold dead heart

Requested By – My heart, which belongs to Bucky

Prompt – Lying next to you holding you close in the dead of night after a nightmare Bucky thinks of you.

Word Count - 2.1K

Skimming metal fingers over the letters on your collarbones that ties him to you. The letters are bold, daring anyone to ignore them. Once even daring him to ignore them while working in hand with your name on his collarbone to throw a wrench into the logic that it could be another James Barnes. Besides even before you shirt slipped down enough that he could see his name he had that pull towards you. Already noticing you hanging at the back of Rosalie’s with a laptop in front of you and one headphone in. Then when you marched up to the manger working the cash register defending him against the hateful lady his mind drifted straight towards his soulmate mark and the first thing he wanted to do was ask what your name is.

That day, he doesn’t have another memory that he holds any clearer with your words still ringing in his head whenever thoughts darker than pitch would wrap around his mind warping it into their personal playground. Such as now piercing through the last reminisces of his nightmare. It’s words he lives by and clings to: those actions were not his own plain and simple. It was the first thing out of your mouth when you stood at the counter dropping cash onto the counter to pay for his order, because you’d be damned if you didn’t make sure he got his blueberries muffins. It was an action that had him requesting to meet you again to treat you the way you had just done for him.

Repeating those same words again without fail he can still hear the deadly calm tone in which you delivered them. With wrath bubbling underneath the surface like volcanic magma just waiting to lay waste to all who stood in your path. And for a while there after it became undeniable that his is your soulmate while still in the friends phase he wondered if you defended him because he is yours or would you have done it anyway. To this day Bucky is fully convinced that you would have done it anyway. Your t-shit proclaiming that you too would start a civil war for him proclaiming it even louder and amusing him in the process.

What if he wasn’t yours?

There it is anxiety and fear together worming their way to the front of his mind. Despite how irrational it sounds, but sometimes that little question makes sense, or at least it used to. Till you sucker punched the thought by calmly stating that you had a crush on him long before you found out that you were his soulmate since the name was kept out of the history pages for the person’s privacy. Following it up with even if there was no such things as soulmates or that both of them were blanks you would still want him.

‘You will always be my Starlight for as long as you want to.’ With those words Bucky moves onto different questions such as how many times he grazed his lips across your collarbone taking delight in how the print feels. Or how many times he has he been in awe while thanking fate for what those two little words stand for? The only number that out weight it is the amount of times he has admired your name on him that says he is yours. It’s a concept that he can get over, his name on you, your name on him leading towards only one thing, he is yours. And like a lost puppy he will follow you wherever you let him for as long as you desire.

Those two words they kept him holding on for as long as possible when he was in Hydra’s hands. When he was locked in a cold and dark cell forgetting another part of himself with each second that times ticked by. Unaware if it was night or day, or when way season or year it was. A lifetimes passed with his only solace being your name because there is no way that fate could give him a soulmate only for him not to meet them. It was a light in darkness that kept his heart warm for as long as he was able to cling to it.

In the end Bucky believed that Hydra had stolen that from him too. Calling him a mere reduced shell of a person would be to humanizing, he was only a weapon and your name became a cold and empty promise. He had finally given up on trying to find you believing that the name was more of a deserved punishment and it would be better of you never encountered him but instead found a suiting blank that would adopt your name. While he would remained alone as he should. Oh boy were you quick to dispel this. That having his name on yourself and looking up at him sets impossible standards, that standard being they weren’t him.

Not with just words but with your actions. For the cell of cement, the experimentation table, the cryofreeze chamber, volts of electrify scrambling his mind time and time again sending white hot flashing of agony through his body you replaced it all. With soft grazes of your fingers where metal meets flesh over the self-inflicted wounds he gave himself when he clawed at the arm. To the way your hand presses firmly into his chest when you are trying to keep his playful self at bay. And way your nails dig into his backside during more sexual moments. Of course there is how soft your hand feels in his scared and calloused on. Even the times that you’ve stuck your cold hands up his shirt in pursuit of body heat.

Bucky could go on to list how your laughter be it soft giggles, shrill squeals, and that dorky laugh you deem unflattering drowns out the echoes of his own throat shredding screams that linger in the back of his mind. Covering them up with the breathy moans, sleepy grumbles, soft delicate whispers, and attention needy whines of his names that Bucky adores. Because never more does Bucky love his name then when it is coming from your lips. And those lips against his skin can replace every knife slash, punch and bullet he has taken in a split second.

You are everything he could ever want or need in another person. And it’s times late at night when he is deep in his thoughts that he wonders if you would have been better with another less stressful soulmate then him. He has to leave you alone for missions all the time, where worry gnaws away at you that you might never see him again. But Bucky knows that when it comes down to picking he would pick the world, his world, you, without a second thought. He would drop all of this at once and leave with you the moment it became too much, the moment you wanted to start a family. Or even if you just wanted it to be the two of you. But does he deserve that?

‘You deserve whatever good you want in this world, be it to keep fighting or to retire and learn how to relax,’ you told him one night when you had found him aimlessly wondering not wanting to sleep due to what awaited him when he closed his eyes. That what still waits for him sometimes when he sleeps. On that night it had bene days since he last slept and he was at his wits end when you took him back to yours. Where you forced him to shower and gave him some clothes from an ex that you had a casual fling with. Then you gave him a warm cup of honey milk and held him in your bed where the two of you feel asleep together for the first time. After that night Bucky knew he was hooked, it wasn’t just the soul mark that deemed him yours but him.

You were all he could have wanted and more than worth waiting for. In fact he is happy that he meet you after than before because there are times when you’re the one saving an protecting him from himself.

‘Sometimes even the super soldier needs saving,’ Bucky wonders what that must look like his beefy frame trembling in your arms as he tries to curl in on himself. With his eyes bloodshot from crying and his nose raw from tissues, his cheeks stained with tracks of his tears. You have done so much for him more than he could ever hope to do in turn for you. There had been so many countless nights that you have spent up with him, so many times you’ve been dragged away from work to calm him down when no one else could, to the point that Tony had your bosses number on sped dial and had to pay them off for letting you leave and then even paying you more than he should for the lost work day. There had been full days you have dedicated to just him and dragging him out of the more darker places.

It because of Steve and You that he was able to recover to this point where he sees himself as a person worthy of being with you. That he deserves to one day lay down his weapons and spend the rest of his life with you.

Glancing down at your sleeping face, smiling as your nose crinkles up and your eyes flutter as you dream. Which he quickly discovers it’s of him as your lips press into a firm line suppressing a smile as you grumble his name. It’s something that you do when he is has been messing with you and is then charming you in all the ways he knows how. All the while you claim that he has no right to be that adorable when you are trying to be upset with him. It never lasts long and any second now you will give into your smile, melting for him. And…there it is.

“Starlight…” Wrapping your arms tighter around his waist and nuzzling deeper into you. His heart leaps in his chest at the nickname. Taking him back to his first date with you when things had gotten more serious than he meet to let it. When he told you that he would spend the rest of his life turning himself into a man that’s worthy of you, far too heavy for a first date but it wasn’t just a date with anyone but it was with you. From the moment he both of you realized that you were soulmates you were bound to be together just at his and yours pace.

You took his seriousness in stride without missing a beat, ‘Well then you have already succeed in that a long time ago, back in the 1940s growing up into the man James Buchanan Barnes that I’m fated for,’ But that just it, he isn’t the same man from the 40s, you already had the same thought as him as you string on,

‘You may not be the same man from the 40s but you hold the same values, the same strength that’s more than physical, the compassion and fighting spirit is all the same. I just know you do,” Bucky thought he couldn’t fall further in love with you but then you went ahead and proved him wrong. He always learned something else on that night out in the country in the back of a truck lying on top of thick soft blankets underneath billions of stars that decorate the night’s sky that you first called him Starlight for the first time Explaining that he holds a bright light in his heart, one bright brilliant star like the sun that is something that Hydra could never steal. It’s something that sooner or later will always break through the darkest of nights.

‘Doll you know It wouldn’t burn so bright without you,’ As he spoke those words he was falling deeper that he thought was possible for a person. Turns out that his love for you is heavier than a black hole. And with that last trip down memory lane Bucky reaches over to turn off the dim bedside lamp, whispering,

“I love you Doll,”

“I love you too Starlight,”

#bucky barnes #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #bucky x you #bucky x

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thewondersofsmut · 6 years

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Baby and a Demon

Request: I don’t know if like doing Demon Dean but I have had this idea in my head for a while and been to lazy to write it so I’ll make you do it haha :P Okay so the request is a story where the reader (who has been in a relationship with Dean for a while) has sex with Dean while he is a Demon and gets pregnant on to give birth after he becomes human again and doesn’t remember anything. Cas can heal her so she doesnt die and they have a cute little half Demon Dean baby. If you don’t like the idea it’s fine just something I thought of after the whole of season 12-13

Pairings: Demon!Dean x Reader

Warnings: unsafe smut, swearing

Word Count: 3133

I can’t believe I wrote it this long! I hope you like it @writingkeepsmewhole :)<

You sighed, preparing yourself to witness the mess your usually loving boyfriend has become after becoming a demon. You entered the bar and it was normal except you can see a drunk demon Dean, singing his ass off in karaoke. You rolled your eyes. "Is this all you do, honestly?" You asked as you reached his spot. He stopped his tracks and turned at the sound of your voice. To him, it didn't matter if he was a demon, you are special. "Took you long to look for me, sweetheart." He has a loopy smile as the liquor intoxicated him. "I would've seen a different sight if I went earlier, I assume?" You asked, pertaining about his 'playboy-ness'. "Oh, my love, I don't have time for these bimbos when I know I have a v–very wonderful g–girlfriend that I would like to suck faces with." He said. You cringed a little.

"How 'bout lets get you sober from liquor and from being a demon, huh?" You asked, raising both eyebrows. "No can do, (y/n/n). I have a very important j–job!" He protested. "But what would be nice is if you come with and take care of me." He said, wiggling his eyebrows. "No." You sighed and turned to leave but the next thing you know, you were in a motel room. You knitted your eyebrows, confused. You saw Dean, with his glorious black eyes, flashing you a smile. "Don't leave, I promise I'll behave." His voice was taunting yet captivating. "Dean, I ain't dealing with this shit right now." You scoffed. "But, baby, I'm still your boyfriend." He said, walking up to you, caressing your arm. "Honestly, right now, you're pretty much a demon." You said. He lightly growled and flashed his black eyes at you.

You didn't falter, keeping your head up and fear down. "Alright. Well you're not leaving my side, I don't care if you protest." He said and he was gone. You looked around you and huffed, pretty sure you had no way out of this room, he could've done something. Hours turned into days and you have witnessed how gruesome your Dean could be and yet he comes back to his motel room, smirking at you, respecting that you didn't want to converse with him. No matter how ruthless he was, he was still loving towards you, which strengthens the claim that you knew you and Sam could save him, bring him back as a human. You had a breaking point though and that happened when you had one too many drinks. You swirled the little stirrer in your drink and watched as Dean played darts with some demons. You rolled your eyes and stood up, wanting to go back in your room.

The world stirred in front of you and you were gunna fall straight to the floor if Dean didn't turn to look at you and rushed to catch you. Dean carried you, dropping whatever he was doing to care for you, even as a demon. You looked pale, and definitely had twice the amount of alcohol you should be drinking. He laid you on your side of the bed, and placed a damp towel on your forehead. He clenched his jaw and went on to his demon duties, definitely not wanting to leave you. You groaned as the streak of sunlight hit your face and tried to open your eyes but it hurt too much. You felt heat radiate from something or rather someone beside you and at this point you didn't care, you needed the comfort. Dean watched as you basically cocooned yourself against him and the blanket and he felt a slight tug in his heart. You wanted him, so bad, but you wanted to be strong to get him back to normal but right now, you just wanted him, you didn't care. You left your walls falling at his feet. You reached up, as much as you could without giving yourself a headache and your lips searched his.

Dean was surprised with that action that even as a smug, ruthless demon was scared. But he loved you, you accepted him for who he was or what he has done and the fact that he changed, you were the one who was constant in his heart and in his mind. He caressed your cheek softly as he pulled you in to deepen the kiss, you can feel chills run along your body and your heart aching for his affection. He wrapped his arm around your waist, your body flushed against his. His tongue glided against yours as you let him take lead, to let him dominate you. Your jaw started to clench as the emotion made your heart flutter, your body reacting along with it. It wasn't just a kiss, it didn't feel like a simple deep kiss, you can feel everything and much more, you feel intimately connected to Dean.

His hands traveled to your ass as he squeezed them, making you gasp against his mouth, which he took as an opportunity to deepen the kiss, if it were even possible at this point. You rubbed your legs together as you felt the growing need in between them. He lightly dragged his nails across the expanse of your arched back, groaning as you moaned, taking it as a good sign to do more. You couldn't feel anything but him, his growing hardness in between you and the intense kiss. As his lips parted ways with yours, it only fell to your exposed neck, at this point he wanted everyone to know your his and only his. Kissing, nipping, and sucking that one spot that makes you bite your lip, eyes closed, hands gripping whatever they can. He pushed you towards the bed, laying you on your back, his hand immediately reaching to part your legs, feeling the heat he had caused and he knew it too well.

Your clothes were off in a matter of seconds and that original feeling of intimacy and ache on your heart remained with you as the situation escalates. He rubbed your clit and slid his fingers through the wet folds of your core, your hips bucking up to his touch. His mouth descended to your breasts, sucking each, nipping at the inner flesh, wanting to leave more territorial marks. He growled at the sight of you, his cock twitching to be inside you and more importantly, his heart aching as he panned his view of all of you, only his to enjoy, to cherish, and to worship. He stripped off the clothing he was confined in, climbing on top of yours, putting enough weight on you to let you know he was there. He lifted your legs up to his shoulder, caressing your legs with his fingertips, eliciting sweet moans from you. He slowly slid his throbbing cock inside of your slick pussy, accepting his entirety. A long content sigh escaped your parted lips and he attached his to yours once again.

One by one, he pinned your arms beside your face and watched as you fought to touch him, to feel his body, his muscles moving along with your movements. He thrusted slow and steady, letting you feel all of him from beginning to end, stretching your walls to accommodate his size. Slow and steady pace, his husky voice against your ear was more than enough to bring you to the edge but you were further than that. With each thrust, your heart ached with love, the corners of your eyes lines with hot tears. You opened your eyes to meet Dean's green orbs and it was as if he stared into your soul, letting you know how much love was there with the actions he's showing you. As tears slowly slid the sides of your eyes, he let go of your hands and wiped them gently. Your arms flew to his shoulder, one hand combing through his short hair. Thrust after thrust and you both were near the edge and with one simple three letter words against your lips, you came hard and hot around his now pulsing cock as he gave his own release. He slowly pulled away, his lips never leaving yours, but only giving you such intense kiss to let you slowly climb down your high.

"I still love you." You could faintly hear his voice. It ached you to see him like this and yet you couldn't even be more selfish for being okay with the fact that he wasn't really your Dean but was just happy to hear and see how much he loves you no matter what. But it didn't take long for Sam and Cas to get you and Crowley to give up on Dean's ruthlessness. You were finally back in the bunker, safe and sound, but hurt. Hurt as you heard Dean scream in agony, hurt as he refused to be back to normal even for you. But combined efforts weren't disregarded. As Cas used his power on Dean as he almost went on rampage, the last dose of human blood was injected on him. You stared in horror but slowly the black in his eyes drained and the green orbs you missed shone brighter than ever before.

You cared for him as he laid unconscious in your bed, caressing his stubble that you love. You heard a slight groan and you prepared yourself. His eyes slowly opened to see your face, a true smile. "(Y/n)?" He murmured. "I'm right here, everything is fine." You whispered. You leaned in to kiss him. He reciprocated and you sighed into the kiss, relieved that he was finally back, your Dean. "How are you feeling?" You asked. "I think I'm feeling okay." "I missed you." You whispered. "We were together for most of that journey." You cracked a small smile. "It wasn't the same." You replied. "But you never changed one bit towards me and that gave me hope." You said and he smiled leaning up to you. You pecked his lips and the feeling of normality flushed through your body.

2 months later

It was an easy hunt and yet you didn't know why you were so tired, yes, you have literally stayed up for the past couple of days researching but you felt extremely tired. Once back in the motel, you fell asleep, not even bothering to take off your dirty clothes and Dean watched you lovingly, letting you rest. Morning came and Dean woke up first, to his surprise. You usually woke up first and maybe have gotten breakfast by then. He got up, kissed your head and went to grab some food. A few minutes passed by and you groggily woke up, like you had been drinking the night before. You sat up to look for Dean but your body tried to look for the bathroom. You felt nauseous as you ran to the toilet, practically spilling your guts out as you threw up. You were huffing and coughing and Dean, who was just back from the diner, panicked as he didn't see you in bed. He rushed to the bathroom, seeing you sunken to the floor, head above the toilet. "Babe, you okay?" He asked. You looked behind you and gave a weak smile to Dean. "Yea–" You were cut off by wanting to throw up once again.

Dean held your hair back and supported you. "No, no, you're not okay." He murmured. Once you felt a little better, Dean helped you clean up and the first thing he did was get Sam and Cas in with you two. You were starving at this point and your eyes darted to the plate of food on the table. You grabbed the pancakes and bacon and munched on it, savoring how good it tasted. Dean watched you intently, knowing the possibility as to why you were acting that way. Cas arrived just as Sam entered your room. You looked up from your food and met eyes with Cas. "(Y/n)," He paused to look at you, almost studying you. Dean's nerves rose. "What's up?" Sam asked. "You're pregnant." Cas stated and Dean and Sam gasped while you just froze. "I'm what?" You asked again. "You're pregnant and the baby you're carrying, feels different." He started. Dean held your hand and gave a squeeze as you looked up at him. Cas knelt in front of you. "Mind if I touch your stomach?" He asked and you nodded.

Cas' eyes glowed blue as his hands lay flat on your tummy. "The baby is not full human." He whispered. "I don't understand, what do you mean." You asked, worried. It then dawned on you. "Dean, I think I know why..." You trailed. "What is it, (y/n)?" He asked. "When you were a demon... I never had my pills with me and that one time we, uh, did it..." you didn't even have to finish your statement. Dean hugged you to his chest. "So, Cas, what you're saying is that (y/n) is carrying a half demon baby when Dean was still a demon?" Sam asked. "Possibly so, I don't know how's that possible but it seems like (y/n) is gunna be growing fast." Cas said. "I think it's best if you just stay in the bunker for now." Dean said. "But–" "No buts, babe. I can't– we can't risk your life and our baby's life." He said. There was no room for arguments. "I will make sure you are well, the baby can drain you of your life." Cas said and you nodded. "We better get going then." Sam said and Dean helped you get ready to go back home.

It wasn't easy, you didn't expect it to be. 3 months in and you couldn't fit in any of your clothes, your tummy was growing the slightest every single day. Pain was evident in your eyes and in your cries and Dean grew guilty. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault." He whispered as he caressed your cheek. Tears slowly poured down the side of your face, not from him but the pain you were feeling in your lower abdomen. You lightly chuckled. "It's our baby, it just so happens, that he or she is special." You whispered. He smiled, carefully leaning towards you to peck your lips. "I love you and I will love our baby no matter what." You added. "I love you too. You too little one." He whispered as he placed a hand and looked at your growing belly.

After a week, you looked like you were about to pop and the slight tug of pain was the indication. You ignored it, you felt much worse but as the clock ticked, the pain grew and grew and suddenly, without even feeling a thing, your bed got soaked. Dean woke up from your sudden movements. He shook you awake and that's when you noticed that your water has broken. He was quick on his feet, yelling for Sam to wake up and get the car ready. Dean was praying for Cas, not like he has ever prayed for him before. He popped in as Dean was carrying you to the Impala. You were sweating, from fear, from contractions, from giving birth. Minutes passed, Sam, driving as fast as he could without endangering your lives, you were slowly getting drained. You looked weak, your face thinning. Cas placed his hand on your head, fighting the power of your child.

Everything was a blur when you arrived at the hospital, the screams of Dean to hurry up was overpowered by the look of worry and his hand tight on yours. You were screaming in pain as you delivered your baby. Your heart was slow but Dean knew Cas would save you, heal you from all these. Not an hour in and the doctor has announced the birth of yours and Dean's healthy baby boy. You heard his cries and you sighed in relief, the pain of it all disappearing in a second as you held him in your arms, Dean right by your side all along. Once you were transported to your room, Cas visited you with a soft smile. He placed his fingers on your forehead and you felt a course of energy flow through you, healing you to perfect condition. Dean thanked him that you were fine and your baby's fine.

With Cas' help, you were out of the hospital in no time. A couple of weeks ago, Dean had convinced you that you two decorate the room right beside yours. You both thought to decorate it in reds, a tiny pop of black and whites, and earthy colors. There was a bookshelf, a guitar, and a small version of the impala. You rocked in the chair as you cradled your child, watching Dean finished last few decorations. "He's so beautiful, Dean." You cooed at your child. "Of course, we made him." He smirked towards your direction, making you snicker. "Hi, little Bobby." You tickled him and he giggled loud and for the first time, you saw his eyes glow a soft black. You gasped.

"What's wrong?" Dean hurried towards your side. "His eyes they– they were black." Your voice came out a little strangle. Bobby looked towards his dad, smiling happily. "Hi little one." He cooed grabbing him from your arms. He giggled and once again, flashed his black eyes. Dean swallowed a lump of his throat. "He will be wanted." You said. Dean looked at you and agreed. "But we're his parents and I know for a fact that we will fight no matter what or who to protect him." He replied. You both heard a soft knock and Sam, along with Cas, were at the door way. "How can we protect him?" You asked Cas. "I can sense how strong he is, how he knows who to trust." He replied. When I healed you the first time, I felt him push me out but with time, he grew to trust me and knew I was helping you." Cas replied.

"If he knows who to trust, I think he can do so much more than we all can." He said. "He's a baby, Cas. I don't think he can physically protect himself." Sam said. "And that's where we come in, but we can't ward him. He is part demon, a knight of hell, since you were turned into one, Dean." Cas said. You caressed Bobby's cheek as he giggled in Dean's arms. "No matter what, little one, mommy, daddy, and uncle Sam and uncle Cas would be here to protect you and love you." You cooed. The three men nodded in agreement, watching him. Bobby gave a big laugh and smile, his eyes softly glowing black.

#dean x reader #demon!dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #demon!dean smut #demon!dean fluff #demon!dean fanfiction #demon!dean fanfic #demon!dean oneshot #dean smut #dean winchester #demon!dean #dean fanfiction #dean fanfic #dean one shot #spn one shot #spn smut #spn fanfic

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deviant404angel · 5 years

Text

His and Hers: A Dance in the Vampire Bund Fic Part 3

They came up for air when it became clear breathing was necessary. Honestly, he would have been fine just breathing her in.

“Akira…” she sighed his name, her eyes glazed with passion, his reflection in her eyes. He was sure she reflected in his as well.

“Mina… ” he called. He’d always wanted to call her that. Always wish he could claim her in all ways possible, mind, heart, body and soul.

Her eyes widened. “Y-you called me by my name. ” She sounded surprised and elated. Then everything came into focus.

He was in his bed, she was on top of him, her core pressed firmly on his erection which was straining underneath his soft pants he usually wear to sleep, and her lips were swollen. He reacted fast when he realized he wasn’t dreaming.

“Wwaah!!” He dislodged himself and fell on the floor as the princess fell back on the bed. “H-Hime-san!!”

“Ouch!” Mina dropped her back and butt on the soft bed but she was still taken aback. “What was that for!?” She glared at Akira.

“Wh-why are you–” He noticed he was still hard and tenting his pants so he grabbed his pillow and pressed it firmly on his lap. “What are you doing here again!?” He asked, the redness of his face spreading to his ears and neck.

“What? It’s a nightly ritual.”

As if that’s normal!

She kept on doing this and kept on teasing him he was at his wit’s end. “Don’t make it to be!”

“What? You obviously enjoyed it.” She crossed her arms over her ample chest and pointed at him. “The little wolf over there is an evidence.”

“Don’t call him so casually!” He protested half-heartedly.

“At least I didn’t give him a hideous name. Shall we call him Aki-chan?” She grinned.

“No! That’s weird!”

She laughed then. Geez, princess.

“Hmm. I had fun tonight Akira. Sorry to disturb your sleep.” She tood up on the center of the bed and it’s the first time I noticed the sheerness of her night dress. It’s almost see through! “I had the need to see your face so I sought you out. You seemed to be having a good dream I couldn’t help but kiss you. I just wish you remember the kiss. It was quite terrific.” She chuckled. “Get some sleep Akira, I will not disturb. Just hold me and let’s sleep together.”

She held out her hand to him.

This girl. No. This woman really have no sense of danger. She’s reckless and proud but sweet and gentle. She doesn’t even know that he’s probably very dangerous right now.

He wanted to remember the kiss. He wanted to feel the kiss. He wanted to feel her heat. She’s smiling innocently at him but all he wanted to do right now was mess her up so bad she wouldn’t even think of leaving his side. She’s offering her hand to her predator.

“What? Hurry up, Akira. The dawn will break in a few more hours, come and let’s sleep.” She looked at Akira and chuckled. “ Still wary I guess. Alright, I’ll sleep first and then you can come up on the bed.” She turned but before she could, and Akira suddenly grabbed her hand and dropped in on the bed before caging her in.

“Wha-” She looked at him startled. “Akira?”

“Hime-san, you shouldn’t really play with fire too much. I’m at my last strength here.” His eyes glowed in the dark fighting his instincts to take her, take her and take her. The beast in him was always there but its clawing to get outside right now.

Instead if being intimidated Mina smiled. “You haven’t noticed? Took you long enough to break down. I was almost getting impatient.” Mina sat up on her elbow and brought her face closer to Akira’s.

Hime-san. Hime-san.

Mina.

She bit his lips enough to draw blood and looked at him in the eye with challenge.

With a growl he tackled her. His lips crashed to hers as he gripped the sheets on both sides of her body. Mina brought her arms around his thick neck to hold herself up. Seeming to not get enough, Akira gripped Mina’s legs, parted them wide and locked hinself in place between them effectively caging her in without anyway to escape.

“Ah!” Mina uttered in surprise. And a thought passed to her brain, shit he’s too big. “Aki-” before she could finish her sentencehe was already prowling at her lips. He held her face between his hands and tilted her up, opening her mouth.

“Hime-san… ” Then he plunged his tongue inside her, exploring his conquest.

“Hmm!” Their tongues entwined, the sensation was almost too much for Mina as she scratched his back. There was his tongue erotically exploring her mouth as if he never gets enough and the his lower part of the body was forcing itself onto her core which slowly opens itself to her embarrassment. She could feel herself getting wet as Akira kept on thrusting.

Akira pushed her down the bed, untangled her arms around his neck and locked her wrists with one hand. Mina was so lost she didn’t know what to do so she panted, lost in the sensation of Akira’s lips tracing her nipples over her nightgown. As he mouth closed on the peak and pulled she bucked, loving the pleasure-pain intensity that travelled through her body down to her core. She pressed herself more to him. Her mouth opened wide and she threw her head back.

“Ahh! Akira…”

He did the same to her other breast and she shuddered in bliss. Her legs falling apart wider without her knowledge. What are these sensations? It’s overwhelming her everything threatening to shatter her. There was a moment of reprieve before she was startled as Akira widened her legs with his hands and she looked down.

How did he-!?

“A-Akirahh-ahh!” She hissed at he pressed his nose to her center. “What-what-what are you—”

With his nose buried in her underwear, inhaling her scent, he looked at her. “What now princess? Two can play this game you know.” He spoke below her.

“I-I… the game is o-over… So.. So… ” She suddenly didn’t know what to do, at lost for words but Akira took the decision away from her.

“Too late princess. Should have thought better than to play with a wolf.” Before she could protest, he bit the scrap of cotton she was wearing and tore them off of her. He looked at her first before he began his dive.

As his tongue and mouth worked themselves, she arched her back and gripped his hair with one hand. “Ah!” Was that her voice? She coverered her mouth with her free hand as Akira spoke directly to her core. “Well you shouldn’t do that princess, I think I’d like to hear more.” He reached for her hands and pinned them to their sides while she have strength, right now she was pretty much boneless.

Sensations bombarded her. Her tongue exploring her core making lewd sounds, sucking, licking, moaning. He wasn’t even being gentle about it but he wasn’t being rough either. She knew he was holding back but if this is his holding back how much more if he’s not? Before she knew it her moans were becoming louder and louder and she was trying to get away from him as a swirling sensation started in the pit of her womb. But her hips were betraying her. If she doesn’t shut up soon, the whole house are going to wake up.

“Aki–” she bit the insides of her cheeks, drawing blood. She tightened her hands on their entwined fingers.

“Come for me, Mina.”

Then everything exploded as his tongue curled inside her. Her legs which were split wide by his broad shoulders started closing in on his head. Her toes curled. Her mouth opened in a silent scream. Her head thrown back, she arched spine. All she saw was white.

When she came down from her high, she blurrily saw Akira licked his glistening lips, used his thumb to wipe something off the corner of his lips and brought it to his mouth. His eyes were still glowing.

Her consciousness started fading, as exhaustion wrapped itself around her like a blanket. He said something while looking at her kneeling in between her legs. He was looking at her fiercely. It was something so new but she couldn’t analyze what it was for she was already on her way to a blissful sleep.

***

Whe Mina woke up she was sore. Her back ached, her throat parched. She also felt her core was sore and sensitive but she was happy. She stretched like a cat. Then she thought back to last night and blushed fiercely.

She was pushing Akira she just didn’t know he’d follow through. It was almost like a test for her because so far, Akira had refused to touch her like an equal would touch his partner. Last night was the first. She giggled.

With the threat of the 3 clans out of the way since 5 years, she felt free except she knows she wasn’t. Not as free as she’d like to believe as long as the true blood vampire is out there, probably recuperating. But it seems like the wounds Fenrir or Akira inflected were harder to heal.

Hmm. Where’s Akira? She smiled. The boy is probably embarrassed. Oh well. She stood up and enjoyed the new sensation her body is experiencing but when she looked at the full length mirrow in his bathroom her mouth gaped open.

“I certainly can’t hide this much. He went overboard!” Her body was full of marks Akira left last night. Her inner thighs were peppered with them. Her chest, her neck, even her arms! That idiot! And because of the change it’ll take time before it heals!

So Mina sneaked to her chamber and dressed in a long sleeved turtle -neck dress despite the summer season. Well there’s not much difference in her usual outfit but she certainly cannot wear her school skirt so she’ll have to refrain from going to school.

“Geez, just what is he thinking marking me all over? Too territorial!” She was happy but this much mark is too much!

***

But days past and Akira avoided her. The markings were starting to fade except the one near her core. It seems like he bit her along the way but she couldn’t remember. Was it when she came? She blushed.

The question is why was he avoiding her?

“Hime-sama.” Vera called as soon as she got back to the bund. It was the last day of the United Nations assembly and finally they relented after much threats (couldn’t help it) and a cartographer will soon be sending her a revised world map.

“Vera, ” she noticed Wolf was also there. “Wolf.”

“You have rest days after this. Please take your time to rest. But before that, Wolf-sama has his report on the ancient civilization.”

Interested, she turned. “Did you find anything?”

“It’s an ancient civilization found in Romania, just under the oldTepes Castle.”

“What?” That came as a surprise to her. She wasn’t able to think much about it because the Royals had raided the castle and left it in ruins. She didn’t know there was something underneath. She could almost laugh how foolish she was.

“There are ancient texts of unknown origin written on the walls. We are trying to document it at the moment. We are also trying to decipher the meaning of the texts however, there seems to be no fit language that can help us unlock its meaning. For now, the laboratory is processing the data, your highness. ”

“I see. That’s a promising news, Wolf. Thank you.”

“At your service, your highness. ”

She thought to herself. Unknown ancuent text that matches no language… So how could they uncover its secret?

“Your highness, if it’s anything that is related to the change you and Akira are undergoing, then probably you two can make sense of it.” Wolf offered.

She smiled. “Thank you, Wolf.” Then, “By the way, where is Akira? He’s been avoiding me lately.”

“That, he’s in the training room.” Wolf looked at Mina and she looked back at him. Then seemingly to understand something, he closed his eyes. “It seems he’s troubled by something. Maybe her highness can help.”

She beamed at that. “Oh! What could be troubling him? I’ll go and see.” Then she briskly walked to the training room.

“Wolf-sama.” Vera called a little bit worried. “I am only concerned about Hime-sama’s happiness. ”

Wolf spoke quietly, “Whatever her highness wishes, we will always follow her. It’s up to them how they work this out especially with…this obvious…signs.”

Vera chuckled. It’s probably the wolf senses that’s bothering the leader of the greatest military under the Tepes family.

Then a thought came to her. “Wolf, who else is in the training room?”

Wolf suddenly understood. “More wolves.”

Nelly, Nella and Nero who were cleaning spotted them. “I wonder if they’re talking about something interesting?” Neri asked curiously.

“Ah, it’s probably that.” Nella answered.

“That?” Nelly recalled. And then subsequently fumed. “That!?” Nero and Nella tried to calm her down.

***

Akira just finished defeating one Beowulf. The others were already talking to each other taking a break. He gulped down the water, his mind elsewhere. Distracted. He’d been distracted for days…

His nose twitched as he smelled something.

“Akira! There you are! Oh, hello wolf boys.” Princess Mina Tepes stood at the top of the stairs leading down to the training room.

Everyonee stilled.

Shit.

She started down the stares as he stared at her in awe. The others doing the same thing. He could hardly believe it himself.

He was sure the wolves themselves noticed with their strong sense of smell.

His scent is fucking all over her!

“Your highness!” Everyone exclaimed and then stood silent. Some of them had their mouths gaping open.

“What’s wrong everyone? You’re all like fishes out of the water. Better close those mouths or flies will invite themselves in.” She smiled to them. “I’m just here to talk to Akira. No worries, we’ll be stepping outside for a while. You’re on your break so it should be fine.”

Everyobe was still speechless and all eyes turned on him. Some he felt daggers, some were just in awe and some were obviously just having fun.

Finally, one wold dared to speak. “Your highness, do you know?” Oh this on’s mischievous.

“Know what?”

“Hime-san, don’t listen to his gibberish–”

“Shush. Calm down Akira. I’m not so heartless that I would not listen to my people.” She turned to the wolf, if he remembers correctly, his name was Leo. He was just promoted to Beowulf rank recently. “Yes?”

“There’s an interesting tale in the Earth clan. That if they find their mate and bonded with them, she will smell like him so as to drive away all other wolves. Its a protective smell to know she’s taken. No matter who the mate is, human, another were clan, or vampires, she will always wear his scent.” Leo’s eyes twinkled as he relayed this.

#mina tepes #akira kaburagi #dance in the vampire bund

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pink1031 · 6 years

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You’ve Woken Up The Demon in Me. Part-1

Characters: Demon!Dean x Reader, Crowley, Castiel, Cole

Warnings: Violence, non-con, dub-con, language, rough sex, oral (male and female receiving),angst, smut, choking, general abuse, fluff (just a little),

A/n: This is not for the faint of heart. It is very dark (like my soul). Demon Dean is by no means fluffy at all. This follows Season 10, episodes 1, 2, 3 with a reader insert. I did not follow everything exactly, but much of the dialogue is there and the same premise. Sorry if this is pure trash. Part 1 does not follow the show. All mistakes are my own. Gif is not mine.

Word Count: 5258

@build-a-pyre

"Sam?" you asked as you sat up on the edge of the bed wiping the tears from your eyes. There was deep chuckle "Guess again, brat.'" Your head snapped up in surprise. It couldn't be. "Dean?" your voice was shaky with fear and hope. "You know it." you could almost hear the smirk in his voice. You jumped up from the bed and ran the short distance across the room to him wrapping your arms around his chiseled waist. "Oh my God Dean." You hugged him as hard as you could not ever wanting to let go. His strong arms encircled you completely holding you tight against him. A soft growl filled his throat as his head dipped down to rest against the top of yours. "God you smell so fucking good." he whispered. Your body stiffened as Dean's hands started sliding lower and he roughly grabbed your ass. "And so fucking soft" he growled again. "What?" you looked up at him with confusion on your face. Dean's mouth crushed against yours stifling your whimpered cry. He quickly had you pinned against the wall. You squirmed in protest, your small hands pushing at the wall of his chest until he finally broke the kiss leaving you breathless. "What the hell Dean?" You were dumbfounded, something was wrong here. "Exactly." he grinned as he blinked and you were suddenly staring into solid black pools. Your scream echoed in the room for only a moment before Dean's large hand covered your mouth. You tried to fight against him but he was so strong you could barely move. "Uh uh darlin'. You need to be quiet for me so we don't wake Sammy." He blinked again and his piercing green eyes were staring down at you. "Now, if I take my hand away are you going to be a good little girl?" You nodded and he slowly let his hand fall away. You drew in a deep breath before screaming as loud as you could "Sam!" You had no time to react as a quick backhand from Dean sent you crumpling down to the floor. Your body went limp almost instantly as the blackness enveloped you. You awoke with your head pounding and the side of your face aching. Your eyes blinked as you tried to figure out where you were but you were disoriented to say the least. You heard voices and the rumble of an engine. You were in the Impala, in the back seat, face down. You tried to move but found your arms were handcuffed behind your back. You tried to stay still as you heard Dean talking in the front seat. Slowly your mind began to clear as you tried to focus on his conversation. Your blood boiled as you heard the thick accent from the front seat. “I still don’t understand why you had to bring her along.” Crowley scoffed. “Because I wanted to.” Dean said simply. “If you wanted a toy we could have easily found you one, hell ten, at the next bar.” Crowley rolled his eyes at Dean. When Dean didn’t respond Crowley continued. “She is going to be trouble and this will bring Moose after you quicker.” “I will deal with my brother and as for Y/n, she isn’t going to give me trouble. Are you brat?” You didn’t answer. Your eyes closed as you tried to feign being passed out. A sharp sting to your ass from Dean’s large hand broke the charade and made you yelp. His fingers dug into the stinging globe of your ass cheek hard enough to bruise making you squirm and whimper. Dean laughed darkly. “I know you were awake darlin’. Might as well join the conversation.” You grunted as you struggled to roll over and shift your body to sitting without the use of your hands. You finally managed and you were sitting in the middle of the backseat. Dean was staring at you in the rearview mirror. The anger was clear on your face. “I don’t know what kind of piece of shit low level demon you are but I swear to God if you don’t get out of Dean I am going to end you.” You spoke between clenched teeth. “Darling, the only demonized soul inside of Dean is his and his alone. Wee bit more twisted, a little more mangled beyond human recognition, but, I can assure you, all his. There, now. Feel better?” Crowley chuckled. “Bullshit!” You snapped back “It’s true. You see that pesky little mark on his arm didn’t want to let him go so” he gestured to Dean “this is what you get.” “It’s all me brat, 100% Dean, just without all the guilt and emotion that always gets in the way. I’m finally seeing things for how they really are.” Dean smirked back at you. “What do you want with me?” You asked as you stared at Dean’s eyes in the mirror. You were trying to keep the conversation going. Trying to keep them occupied as you squirmed softly, your wrists twisting in the cuffs trying to free yourself. “You’ll find out soon enough” Dean grinned as he stole another glance back at you. “ And if I were you I’d stop messing with the cuffs. I’d hate have to mark up your pretty little face again.” He winked at you and another flood of anger rushed over you and you let loose a string of swears and threats from your lips. Dean laughed at your threats, making fun of you “You are so damn cute when you are mad, brat.” He chuckled. That just pissed you off even more and you did the only thing you could think of. You kicked the back of his seat hard enough that he lunged forward against the steering wheel losing control of the car for only a moment. You quickly leaned further back against the seat bringing your booted foot up to connect with the back of his head. He cursed and growled swerving the car over to the side of the road and throwing it in park before jumping up out of the driver seat. He yanked the back door open and grabbed both of your legs pulling you towards the door. You tried to struggle but even on a good day you were no match for Dean’s strength. He pulled you down until you were half hanging out of the car, your low back resting on the edge of the seat. Your legs were between his as he towered over you. “I could kill you right now.” Dean stared down at you his eyes had gone to the pitch black. You could feel the anger radiating from him but his voice was even and calm and that scared you even more. His large hand closed around your throat easily, not squeezing but just tight enough for you to know he could if he wanted to. “But you won’t.” Your voice came out a lot more shaky than you had hoped. He grinned then, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. “No, I won’t. I want to play with you first.” He laughed. “Now, last chance, are you going to be a good little girl or do I need to knock you out again? I’m good either way.” He smirked. You took a deep breath and weighed your choices. You choked the words out not liking the taste of them on your tongue. “I’ll be good.” He laughed and his eyes blinked back to the moss green that were so familiar to you. “Smart choice.” He spoke as he shoved you roughly back into the car before climbing back into the driver’s seat. The three of you were on the road for hours before finally pulling into a motel parking lot. Dean sent Crowley to get two rooms for the night. When Crowley came back with the keys Dean took one in hand and opened the back door to the car holding it open for you. “Come on brat.” He ordered. You huffed but slid out. He grabbed one of your arms in his large hand and tugged you to the room. When Crowley followed the two of you into the room Dean looked over his shoulder and growled at the king. “Get out.” Crowley huffed. “So much for howling at the moon, huh?” Dean smiled at him “I’ll meet you in the bar across the street in a little while.” Crowley nodded and left the room. Dean still had your arm in his tight grip as the door clicked closed. He quickly pulled you to him, crushing your soft frame against his body. His lips met yours in a hungry kiss. Your body froze but he was insistent. His lips moved against yours, his tongue danced across your mouth wanting entrance. You cursed to yourself as you felt the heat spread over your body. He still smelled like your Dean, his body still felt like all the times you had hugged your Dean. Your brain was screaming at you that this was not really Dean but your body had another opinion all together. Your lips parted for him almost instinctively. He groaned as his tongue dipped between your lips to taste you. “So sweet,” he whispered before deepening the kiss, claiming your mouth with his. You whimpered and squirmed against him as his hands began to move over you. His large hands caressed up and down your arms, sending goosebumps along your skin. They moved over your shoulders and down your back to rest firmly on your ass pulling your hips tighter against his body. You gasped into his mouth as his arousal was evident against your hip. He finally broke the kiss and stared down at you. His eyes were filled with lust. “No, please Dean.” You whimpered, knowing you couldn’t trust your body. “I know you want me.” Dean whispered, his voice raspy with his desire. “I want my Dean, my Dean would never do this.” You pleaded with him. “Your Dean?” he chuckled. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. Your Dean wanted to fuck the hell out of you but he was scared. He was too scared to get attached so he never acted on it, but darlin’ he thought about it every time he saw you.” He stroked your cheek softly “But the new Dean, he isn’t scared. He is going to fuck you until you can’t walk.” You felt your knees grow weak as the sudden ball of heat coiled low in your body at his words. You were surprised when you were quickly spun around with your back to Dean and you felt him undo the cuffs to free your arms. You quickly pulled your arms from behind your back and were prepared to fight. Before you could spin back around to face the demon Dean’s arms quickly wrapped around you from behind and held you tight against his hard body pinning your arms at your sides. His lips moved to the curve of your neck kissing and sucking at your soft flesh, his ivory teeth scraping along your skin. You squirmed against him. “Dean, stop.” You tried to break free from his grasp but you could barely move. “I don’t want this.” He growled against your ear and it made you shiver. “Your mouth keeps saying no, but baby your body is screaming for me.” His tongue darted out to lick over the shell of your ear before he tugged it between his teeth. His large hands moved to glide over your breasts finding your nipples so hard under his touch. “See little brat, your nipples are hard, your trembling against me, your breathing is heavier, face flushed.” As he continued to talk his hands moved over you, squeezing your breasts before sliding down along your sides, his fingers splayed as they danced over your stomach. Your eyes closed tightly as you tried to fight the desire that his touch caused. “And I bet if I let my hand slid inside those cute little panties you are wearing you would be soaking wet for me. Aren’t you darlin’?” You refused to answer, you bit at your full bottom as Dean continued to grope and explore your body with his large hands. He chuckled as you tried to fight the feelings but he knew he had you. He knew how bad you were aching for him. You hadn’t even noticed that as his hands teased against you your hips were grinding your rounded ass back against his crotch. You didn’t notice but Dean did. His lips found the curve of your neck once more, sucking and biting your skin until he left purple bruises to mark you. His hands slid lower and your own hands balled in fists at your side trying desperately not to reach back and touch him. He held your hip in one tight grip as his other hand dipped between your thighs to grind his palm into your jean covered pussy. You couldn’t help yourself and a groan fell from your lips as you pressed harder to his hand. “That’s it baby, don’t fight it. I am going to make you feel so good.” He smirked. Your breasts rose and fell with your heavy breathing and you whimpered one last time. “Dean, please.” Dean quickly spun you around once more so he could look down at you. His hands cupped your cheeks as you stared into those soft green eyes. You were gone then, lost to the feelings surging inside of you. You had wanted Dean for so long; you had fought these feelings for as long as you had known the man. You pressed your lips to his hard and he moaned. He thrust his tongue into your mouth and you were putty in his hands. His hands left your face to grip your thighs and lift you up in his strong arms. Your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms came to wrap around his shoulders as he carried you to the bed. Dean dropped you unceremoniously onto the bed and you bounced with the force. You watched as Dean made quick work of his flannel and tugged his tee shirt over his head. You felt the fear tugging at you again as Dean stared down at you with an animalistic gaze that made you feel so much like the prey that you were to him. The look was so uncharacteristically Dean that your fight or flight instinct kicked in almost instantly. You moved to scramble back over the bed but a large strong hand around your ankle quickly stopped your movement and drug you back toward the edge of the bed. “Don’t make me have to get the cuffs back out, brat.” Dean chuckled as you began to struggle in his grip. You were a mess, your mind was reeling and your body was aching. You were fighting an internal battle, knowing how wrong this situation was but knowing how bad you had always wanted Dean. ‘Jesus why was he doing this to you?’ you thought to yourself. One minute he was just like your Dean and then the next he was every bit the cold demon that those black peepers made him out to be. Dean could read the expression on your face. He always had a knack for reading you. He smirked down at you as his rough hands began to slide up your legs, caressing and kneading your muscles through your jeans until he was bent over you, his hands gripping your hips. “I know how fucked up this situation is for you darlin’ but you don’t have to fight it.” His fingers teased under the hem of your t-shirt as he spoke making your body tremble at his touch. “If it makes you feel any better it won’t really matter if you fight anyway. This is only going to end one way, brat.” “Dean,” you whimpered as he fingers moved higher sliding your shirt up with the movement. “Please just stop. We can go back to the bunker, back to Sam and he,” You were cut off as a growl filled Dean’s throat at the mention of his brother’s name. Dean’s hand quickly shot out to wrap around your slender throat making you gasp. His fingers dug into your flesh, this time cutting off your air. You struggled to inhale short quick breaths as his hand tightened further. “I don’t want you to ever mention Sammy’s name again. He isn’t coming to the rescue this time Y/n.” Dean spoke through gritted teeth. “You are mine. He can’t save you and he can’t have you.” Dean lowered his face towards you until his lips were almost touching your own. “Mine.” he growled. Tears stung your eyes as your lungs burned for air. Your cheeks flushed red as the black spots began to fill your vision. Your arms flailed in an effort to beat at Dean’s chest but your strength was faltering as the blackness threatened to consume you. An instant before your eyes fluttered closed Dean released his grip on your throat allowing you to suck in much need oxygen. You coughed as you took in large gasps of air. Dean took the opportunity while you were struggling to regain your breath to rip your tee shirt down the middle freeing your ample breasts to his hungry gaze. Your heard the soft rumble of his growl filling his throat once more as he hands moved over your newly exposed flesh. Rough fingers slid down between the valley of your breasts before he cupped each globe harshly and squeezed making you whimper and squirm. Dean didn’t linger long on your breasts before his hands slid down your ribcage, long fingers splayed as they fanned over your stomach down to the waist of your jeans. You instinctively reached for his wrists as he began to pop open the button and tug your zipper down. He was quick to swat your hands away and give you a warning glare before he tugged your pants and panties down your creamy thighs in one quick movement. “Beautiful.” He whispered almost to himself as he took in your naked body, your breasts rising and falling with your heavy ragged breaths, the curve of your hips and the sweet treasure that nestled between your thighs. Dean moved over your body. His lips crashing back to yours. His tongue forcing its way back into your mouth. His mouth ravaged yours until you were struggling to breathe once more. Dean broke the kiss to sit back, he licked the taste of your from his lips as his hands moved to work the buckle of his belt, taking his time he opened the button and zipper on his jeans. He watched with amusement as your breath caught in your throat at the site of his hard thick bulge still trapped under the taut denim. “That’s right brat, this is all for you.” He grinned as he palmed his hard erection through his jeans. “This is what you to do me.” Dean was off the bed then kicking off the rest of his clothes until he stood over you in all his naked glory. You couldn’t help but stare at his perfection. Your eyes moved from his cocky grin down over his broad shoulders and sculpted arms to his wide chest, eyes traveling down to his chiseled abdomen, the sweet carved Adonis belt, until your gaze met the hard thick length of his arousal. Dean chuckled as he watched you intently. He slowly began to crawl up the bed until he was hovering above your trembling body. “Don’t fight it Y/n. We both know how bad you want this.” His voice was soft as he dipped his head to the curve of your neck, his lips leaving wet kisses on the tender already abused flesh, leaving new marks on the skin that would already be bruised by his hand as he bit and sucked. His large hands teased over your flesh making you whimper and squirm beneath him. Your body moved on its own as Dean’s fingers slipped between your soft thighs. His thick digits drug between your smooth petals to tease against your tight wet opening. “So wet for me baby.” He moaned against your skin as his mouth moved lower. Teeth nipping at your collarbone before kissing down to your breasts. Your back arched and you cried out softly as his finger pushed into your hot core. He moaned as he felt your tight velvet walls clutching at his finger as he began a slow pace inside of you. Your hands fisted at the blankets of the bed as Dean’s mouth continued its downward journey taking time to lavish kisses and nips to each breast before licking a long wet line down your body until his face was hovering over your heated pussy. You tried closing your thighs as his hungry eyes met yours but his rough hands gripped your flesh tight and he pried them apart easily. His chest rumbled with a low growl as his mouth clamped down on your pussy making you yelp in surprise. The thickness that was his tongue lapped slowly from your wet entrance to the taut bundle of nerves at your core. “Fuck brat, you’re even sweeter than I imagined.” Dean moaned. “Dean,” you whimpered as his tongue made lazy circles around your clit before he sucked and nibbled on the small button. ‘Please, “ you rasped, “stop…I…can’t…” You words fell on deaf ears. Your hips jerked involuntarily as he suckled at your clit. The heat spread over your body as he used he mouth on you with expert grace. His tongue dipping down from your clit to push inside your pussy and then lap his way back upwards. Whimpered moans flooded the room as he devoured you like a starved man. You felt the tight coil build low in your body and your hips begin rocking more wantonly to Dean’s mouth. Your breasts rose and fell with your panted breaths. “Dean…I…fuck.” You groaned as the fire began to spread out from between your thighs and your body began to shake signaling your impending release. Dean’s lustful gaze peered up at you from between your trembling thighs. His mouth still clamped against your cunt as he felt your orgasm begin. You swore you could almost feel him smile against your pussy. Dean held your gaze as your orgasm threatened to crash over you. You gasped and your hips bucked in surprise as his moss green eyes suddenly turned to black orbs. The sudden jolt of your hips caused the dam to break within you and you cried out your orgasm. Your hips bucking as you came hard against Dean’s lips and tongue. Your hands clawed at the bed as your back arched and your head rolled back. Dean’s hands tightened on your thighs, holding you still as he licked and sucked against your slick covered pussy, making you ride out your orgasm on his mouth until your body finally stilled under him. Dean grinned, hips lips and chin glistening with your slick as he climbed up over your body until his hands were on either side of your head and his thick body was nestled between your thighs. “So sweet brat, I think I could keep my face buried in your little pussy all night.” He lowered his lips towards yours. “Taste.” he growled softly as his lips pressed hard to yours. His tongue slipping into your mouth dominantly. He kissed you hard as he made you taste yourself on his lips. You kissed him back almost blindly, your mind was a haze of emotion as you came down from your orgasm. It wasn’t until you felt Dean’s hand slip between your two bodies and line the head of his hard thick cock against your tight entrance did your eyes snap open wide. Your soft hands moved to his chest, shoving at his hard body as you turned your head to break the kiss. “Dean, stop.” You gasped as the tip of his cock nestled into your opening. Dean’s hand moved from between your bodies to help prop himself up above you as he looked down into your eyes. His full pink lips curled into a grin as his hips began to inch forward and you felt your slick petals begin to spread around his swollen cockhead. You whimpered as you pushed harder at his chest. “Dean wait…I’ve never.” Your words were lost as Dean drove his hips forward plunging his long thick cock into you in one quick brutal thrust. “Dean!” You screamed as he took your virginity mercilessly. Tears welled in your eyes as he stretched your pussy wide around his cock. Even with your wetness and your previous orgasm your walls burned with the sudden invasion. Dean growled above you. His back bowed and his head dipped down to the curve of your neck as your heated cunt gripped his cock like a vise. “Fuck, so tight baby.” he hissed between clenched teeth as he held himself still, feeling his cock already throbbing inside of your clutching walls. Slowly Dean began to rock his hips building a rhythm until he was moving harder and faster between your thighs. The tears spilled from your eyes at the first thrusts of his hips. You hissed in pain as he began to rock his hips harder and faster as he moaned above you. You shut your eyes tight as you winced. Dean was big, it felt like he was ripping you in two. Dean kept up the hard steady pace until slowly the burning stretch of your walls began to subside. Dean’s lips curled into a smirk as he looked down at you. Watching your expression turning from a scrunched up expression of pain to something different. Your lips parted as your breathing grew heavier and your eyelids fluttered as the first moan filled your throat. As your moans grew louder so did the grunts falling from Dean‘s lips as he drove into you harder. One large hand moved to grip your hip tight as he began a relentless pace fucking you down into the mattress. “So fucking good Y/n. Fuck I love your pussy.” He moaned as his hips pistoned slamming every inch he had into your slick cunt. “No one but me is ever going to fuck this pussy. Mine.” Dean panted. “You’re mine.” Your hands clawed at his muscled back as your body began to writhe under him. Whimpered moans and soft curses began to spill from your lips as every thrust of Dean’s cock into your dripping core brought you closer to the precipice of release. You gave into the pleasure that was coursing through you unable to deny the heat that was spreading out from your core as Dean’s lips found yours once more. He drank in your moans as you clung to his body. He knew you were close, your slick walls fluttered around his hardness drawing deep moans from his chest. His hand left your hip to slip between your bodies, his deft fingers finding your swollen clit and he began to rub in hard tight circles. Dean peered down at you with heavy lidded eyes. “Cum for me baby. I wanna feel you cum on my cock.” His thrusts began to falter and he knew his own orgasm was near. “That’s it baby. I can feel you getting tighter. Let go for me Y/n. Cum baby.” The tension tightening low in your belly suddenly snapped at Dean’s words and you screamed out your orgasm. Your hips bucked uncontrollably as you rode out your release. You screamed his name as he continued to drive into you chasing his own release. Dean’s head snapped back as he groaned. His orgasm quickly following your own as your pulsing cunt squeezed his cock tighter and your slick coated his throbbing shaft. “Fuck Y/n!” Dean called out as he filled you to the brim with his sticky seed. Dean collapsed down onto your quivering body, resting his head into the crook of your neck as you both breathed heavily. You could feel his heart racing in his chest matching your own rapid beat. Slowly Dean rolled over onto his back at your side draping one arm over his eyes and the other across his own chest. You were unsure what to do. Part of you wanted to curl up at Dean’s side and snuggle against him but part of you wanted to run screaming and crying from the room. You didn’t know what to do so you just laid there trying to process your emotions and the events that had just occurred. You couldn’t help the tears that began to fill your eyes once more. You tried to blink them away but they spilled down over your flushed cheeks. Your body began to shake with silent sobs and it brought Dean’s attention back to you. He rolled to his side, propping himself on one elbow so he could look down at you. “Shh, don’t cry brat.” Dean reached out to you and gently cupped your cheek, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “Hey, “ he said making you look up at him. “I know I was rough with you but shit I didn’t know that was going to be your first time.” He leaned over and kissed your lips softly. “First times are always a bit rocky and awkward but don’t worry you’ll get the hang of it in no time.” “What?” You choked out not believing the words that just spewed out of Dean’s mouth. Dean winked down at you before climbing out of the bed and throwing his clothes back on. You slowly sat up, wincing at the ache between your thighs as you moved. You watched Dean as he buckled his belt and slipped his tee shirt over his head. “I gotta go meet Crowley. Want to come get a drink?” He looked at you with raised eyebrows as he slipped his boots back on. “No.” You spoke softly and shook your head still in disbelief that Dean was acting so nonchalant about what just happened. “You sure brat?” He asked again as he stood up and reached for his jacket. You felt the anger begin to surge through you as he used his nickname for you yet again. “Stop calling me that.” you hissed at him. His head snapped to the side to look at you, the surprise showing on his face. “Excuse me?” “You don’t get to call me that anymore. You are not Dean, not my Dean and only my Dean can call me that.” “Are we seriously back on this shit?” Dean grumbled and turned toward you. He saw the glare in your eyes and met it with his own. He marched over to where you sat on the edge of the bed and he quickly manhandled you until he had drug your small form up the bed. You struggled but Dean was able to slap the handcuffs around one of your wrists and just as quick he had cuffed you to the headboard. “Just in case you decide you want to try to leave.” He winked at you again before kissing you hard. “Don’t wait up.” He chuckled as he headed out the motel room door. You screamed in frustration as you tugged at the cuffs.

#demon!dean #dean winchester #dean x reader #Supernatural smut #dean non-con #supernatural #demon!dean x reader #sam winchester #crowley

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jadedbirch · 6 years

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ARTIST CLAIMS ARE NOW OPEN!

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SUBMIT CLAIMS BY APRIL 23rd

1. Good ships scuttled on the deep

His fingers follow flecks of blood down to the point of his captain’s cheekbone. A thin pink scar, no wider than John’s fingernail, marks Flint’s pale skin. Flint’s eyes close completely. “I thought it was a welcome,” John says. Silver and Flint become lovers following the battle on Maroon Island. S4 AU with established silverflint relationship and some canon divergences.

2. Pray For The Wicked On The Weekend John Silver spends his days in a faded green pickup truck filled with salt-loaded shotguns and silver and holy water on the back roads of the United Stated hunting monsters and demons and things that go bump in the night, and he’s fine with it, because it’s the easiest way to forget what he’s lost. But there’s something coming, something that he can’t face alone. So where else would he turn but the best Hunter the US has ever seen. Even if no one has heard from James Flint since Thomas and Miranda Hamilton went missing.

3. patron saint of lost causes

It takes two weeks to get Flint off Skeleton Island. Or rather--it takes two weeks for the island to let them go. In which Skeleton Island is a living character and brings a host of nightmares through the mist which force Silver and Flint to confront the dangers of their minds. Featuring surreal dreamscape horror as Silver literally battles figures from his murky, unnamed past and Flint moving through a river of blood and ghosts until he and Silver finally meet in the middle. Influences include Guillermo Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth and The Devil's Backbone and Maria Luisa Bombal's work.

4. Let It All Unbreak You Post season four. Alone in taverns, at different points in time, Flint and Silver ponder what went wrong with their different relationships. They drink, remember and regret. They reflect upon the little they had together, and regret not making it work after the war with Madi or Thomas, while knowing very well that the very reason it all went wrong is that they had changed too much, had given each other too much, yet were not brave enough to admit it to each other when it was still time.

(Ships: Silverflint, flint x miranda x thomas, flint x thomas, silver x madi) (Angst, definitely not fix-it, no happy ending)

5. Pirate Sex is In Vogue

My fic is a modern AU primarily through email correspondence between Silver and Flint, although other mediums (such as texting and phoning) will be introduced as the story evolves. Silver is a crack erotica writer and Flint is the librarian who just wouldn't showcase his books at the Nassau Public Library, despite the insistence of the latter. They become unexpected virtual pen pals after Flint sends a heated rejection letter and grow closer through their correspondence, helping each other confront the inner demons of their personal lives. There will be polyamory, since Flint is involved with Thomas and Miranda by the time he and Silver fall in love.

6. Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more

In the year 1725, or thereabouts, John Silver finds himself driven by a winter storm into an inconsequential little port town, barely a speck on any civilised map. Returned to the life of a drifter, tired and rough around the edges, he is resigned to waiting for the weather to pass before he can sail on again to the next town, and the next, and the next. That is until he overhears a conversation in the inn about a local fisherman, one Captain Barlow, and his tall tales of tempests and becalmings, devils and sharks, and Silver finds a new future opening up to him, haunted by the spectres of his past. Whether landed in this place by fortune, or fate, or even divine intervention, he finds he cannot leave again without following this trail that leads from an old and half-forgotten tether knotted deep between his ribs to somewhere that feels familiar and safe, like home. The way won’t be easy; it’s paved with notable absences and painful unspoken truths, and there’s as good a chance as any that he’ll find a knife to his throat before he can so much as say ‘Long time no see, Captain’. Still, all roads do seem to lead to them baring their souls to one another in the dark, and Silver would be lying if he said he hadn’t missed it.

7. An Epilogue

After the events of Treasure Island, John finds James and Thomas. There’s a gradual awkward descent to domesticity when pirates retire. Madi brings Jim Hawkins with her from London. This is the ultimate fix it where there are no unanswered questions and everyone lives happily ever after. SilverFlint, SilverHamilton, SilverFlintHamilton, SilverMadi

8. Stealing Hearts

A 1920s AU with Flint as a mob boss, fighting a corrupt police force/police system, and Silver as a thief who gets caught up in all of it.

9. Space Raiders of Nassau

The space station Nassau is in open rebellion against the interplanetary Imperial Alliance. Captain James Flint is in deep shit for rearranging the face of a fellow raider captain. As punishment, Nassau's leaders assign an inside man to his crew, with a very convincing cover story (that they're married). Complicating things further is the fact that Flint's shifty new husband, John Silver, knows a lot more than he's telling about their secret mission. Their own survival as well as Nassau’s future depend on how successfully they can navigate the dangerous skies… and each other.

10. The Pirate Captain's Wedding Once he has his hands on the thief Flint is willing to do whatever it takes to get the page from him. And then Billy & Gates say marriage is the only solution left on the table. Or rather matelotage – the time honored pirate form of matrimony. Billy says it’s the only way to regain the crew’s trust, by marrying one of them, and Gates agrees. For once Flint’s desperate enough to agree to it. He never expects to actually fall in love with the little shit. Canon-Era Season1/Season2 AU– with angsty developing feelings, public consummation, & There Is Only One Bed night after hot sticky sweaty night. 11. The devil's gotta' earn

Supernatural AU. James Flint has been a hunter for over a decade now and he knows people join this profession for plenty of reasons and few of those are happy ones. Some people just seek the thrill, some want to protect the so called innocent, some - like him - are out for revenge and John Bloody Silver apparently is just trying to get rich. [Borrows mostly from first seasons of Supernatural, little to no prior knowledge of this show required. Miranda lives, Thomas tragically does not. Lots of angst, few monsters of the week and a demon or two.]

12. touch me James is a widow, bartender and owner of the gay-bar “The Rainbow“. After Thomas' death it had been John who had lift him up. One day one of his usual dancers - because what is a gay bar without your occasional striptease - can't perform. John offers to fill the space and James has to face that John is more than just a friend. Slow burn and StripperJohn!AU

13. Adamantine Flame Flint is a forest god called The Flame and Silver is part of the cult that worships him that resides on the fringes of the underworld. 14. [Title TBD] Silver never met another werewolf before. Well, realistically, he knew he must have because he wasn't born a werewolf so someone had to have done this to him. But that didn't count since his memory of the whole incident was lackluster at best. He knew others had to be out there somewhere though and he wanted to find at least one, just to know he wasn't all alone. Flint was surrounded by werewolves all his life. Always part of a family, always knowing someone cared for him. Knowing he had someone to care for. The memories were as vivid as ever, of a time when he cared for someone. But they were gone and he knew he was meant to be all alone. 15. set my soul on fire

Nothing quite like getting out of prison to make a man feel like pulling off the biggest heist you’ve ever heard of. But he can’t do it alone - he’s going to need some money, a plan, a crew, and of course, his partner. His incorrigible, oral fixation-having, blue-eyed devil of a partner. Who is this smooth, seasoned con man with his eyes on the prize? James fucking Flint, naturally. And his partner? John Silver.Viva Las Vegas, baby.

16. cat dad

Modern au. Flint's life is fine. It's quiet and it's fine and he's fine. Well, except that his upstairs neighbor is a dick and his relationship with Miranda is strained and maybe quiet isn't all it's cracked up to be. But then a one-eyed cat enters his life and with it one John Silver. Flint's not sure how he feels about that, but he's working on it. Plot includes cat shenanigans, cooking, fluff, and feelings.

17. [Title TBD]

A post-canon rendition of the Silver and Flint reunion wherein rather than seeking each other out the two are brought back together by outside forces. There’s a wedge of sour history and new lives built between them but love and desire become hard to deny when every path you set out on to leave someone behind sends you hurdling straight back to them. Treasure Island divergent/ignorant, though I pull some things from TI including the bird. (Includes SilverMadi and FlintHamilton as side-pairings, warning for canon Black Sails side-character death.) 18. The Spark

it's a Girl Genius AU

That's it, that's the whole shtick. It's basically the plot of the show, but clockwork-punk with mad geniuses (of course Flint is one), Urca being chock full of Aztec tech a'la Mysterious Cities of Gold, and dr. Howell and colleagues taking medicine to some quite Frankenstein levels - convenient with so many characters who should know better than to fucking die.

Also John Silver might be a construct. The prosthetics are not nearly as complicated as in treasure planet, but at least one person has a gun arm? dirigibles are "Supposed Not To Be Invented Yet", but not for the lack of trying. Silverflint revolves around having "The Spark" and personhood and is shaping up heavier than i intended... luckily they will have plenty of people to set them to rights - i'm aiming for a happy polyfamily forming in the background.

19. he’s funny that way

1920s Atlantic City. Everybody knows the only way to leave crime boss Eleanor Guthrie's business is through a funeral - either delivering the sermon or laid out in the casket. Still, Flint leaves anyway, because he likes to make his life as difficult as possible. Case in point: his new partner, the scruffy, irate, one-legged racketeer with a pretty mouth, a quick tongue, and a rye recipe even Pussyfoot Johnson wouldn't spit out. His new partner's making sure he's not joining the church and taking a celibacy vow anytime soon - but will anyone be able to save Flint from his early - or long overdue - grave?

20. Ship to Wreck

"I don't know if you've noticed, Doctor," Silver snaps, incredulous, "But every moment the Captain is unconscious in that bed is another step away from five million fucking dollars. As if that weren't enough, we're locked in a ridiculous show of force with a madman who seems keen on blowing us sky high unless we concede to his demands; we've got a crowd of men up top losing their Goddamned minds because they've been promised a fight that we cannot presently even hope to deliver; and--" Silver pauses, exhaling hard. "Actually, you know what? There is no and. I’d say that’s about enough shit to make us all a little tense, wouldn’t you agree?" "Hm," Howell says, mildly. A post 204 fic in which: Flint gets a fever, Silver has a panic attack, and Howell gets a migraine. Includes, among other things--Silver trying and failing at playing nurse; Silver trying and failing at controlling his feelings; Flint being dazed and delirious and soft; some singing, some yelling, and heavy doses of mutual pining. Love, obviously, turns out to be the best medicine. 21. More Than One Odysseus

Reunion fic, about two years after 4.10. Quite a lot of talking and a little of the following: fishing, sex, hunting, bathtubs, Jewish surnames, books, stories and Terra Australis. Canon-compliant, not TI-compliant. A few animals killed (for food, not sport).

22. Seedlings

"If there's anything I can help you with-- Or if you'd like to order flowers for an upcoming occasion--"

"All right, honestly?" Handsomely disgruntled customer looked Silver dead in the eye and said, "I'm looking for a gift that says, 'You are making a dreadful mistake, and you will regret these actions for the rest of your days. Call me when you've figured out what a fucking hash of things you've made.'" He spoke the way some people chewed tinfoil.

Silver felt two things: lust like a plague of locusts, and the words 'uh-oh' waft through his brain.

On the second anniversary of the worst day of his adult life, John Silver─temporary florist, burgeoning gardner, and former thief─meets James Flint. It is only love at first sight for one of them. (Or is it?)

23. The Curse of Aeaea

Inspired by the connection between Flint and Odysseus: Silver and Flint find themselves dealing with a very Circe-like situation. Once the curse affects Silver, they have to figure out a way to end it or be trapped on an island that’s not on any map.

(Animal Transformation, Body Horror, Poor Coping Mechanisms, Circe’s Curse, Odysseus, Post-Season 2, Pre-Season 3)

24. With Strange Aeons Months after the disappearance and presumed death of Captain Flint and Long John Silver, Max smuggles Jack and Anne to Oglethorpe’s plantation. Thomas learns that not only do the three of them have a friend in common, but he is not the only one whose dreams are haunted by a strange city and a terrifying name. Meanwhile, Flint and Silver try to escape an island trapped in time, impossibly built and impossibly old. Along the way they’re forced question reality, each other, and themselves.

And in his house in R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming. (Prior knowledge of Lovecraft is fun, but not required.)

#sfbb2018 #silverflint #art claims

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