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theonewiththefanfics · 4 years

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Hate (one-shot)

Synopsys: Bucky and reader have been stuck in the safe house for quite a while now, and the snow doesn’t seem like it will be letting off any time soon. New Year is creeping closer and closer. And it’s just the Reader’s luck that she’s stuck with a person who absolutely despises her guts.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Genre: fluuuuuuuuffff, soft angst

Warnings: swearing, the reader is so dumb... like the last three brain cells she had, left the chat because of what an idiot she is

Word count: 2816

He hated her. Y/N was absolutely one hundred percent sure – Bucky Barnes despised her. The war veteran, the last serving Howling Commando, the longest-held war prisoner and the man who had stolen her heart hated her.

She watched him from over the rim of her coffee cup, how his long brown locks fell over his high cheekbones, and he huffed pushing them away from his face. Y/N had to force down the groan of just how much she had to restrain herself from going over, running her fingers through his hair and maybe tying it back in a little bun. Fuck, if he ever did that, she was sure she’d die from the hotness that was Bucky Barnes.

They hadn’t known one another for that long. Y/N had joined the Avengers a couple of months after the whole Thanos thing. For one, she had been one of the unfortunate ones to be dusted. She had been taking a warm, relaxing bath after a long day when her feet suddenly disintegrated in the water. The last thing Y/N had managed was to throw her book over the side, so at least that didn’t get wet.

Sam had found her after everyone was brought back by Bruce. He was recruiting new people for the team as the new captain, and the first thing she had been there to witness was his try-on haul of the new star-spangled costume.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit novel?” Y/N asked biting on her lip. “I think the shield would be enough to tell them who’s the boss.”

“It’s a symbol!” Sam emphasized and turned around to look at his ass. “It’s supposed to send a message.”

Y/N hid her smile behind her palm and shrugged. “Just… never picked you as the tights guy.”

Sam groaned. “They are not tights!”

That was the moment when Y/N had met Bucky, and that’s when all of her rational thinking flew out of the window faster than Redwing.

He came sauntering into the living room, a grey T-shirt stained with sweat and clinging to his body, the fabric defining each and every muscle the man owned. When Sam said that Y/N started drooling quite literally, it might've been because of the fact that a little dribble of her coffee she had had in her mouth actually spilt out on her leg.

“You look like the American fucking flag,” Bucky snorted and gulped down a large mouthful of water, cocking his hip out.

Fuck, Y/N thought to herself, how in the absolute hell can someone drinking be the most sinful thing on Earth. Like holy hell when did sweat become a turn on for her? Especially when it slowly slid along his neck and disappeared down his chest. She had to close her eyes to remove the mental image of him panting on top of her. Sweaty, like in that moment, but because of different reasons.

“Fuck off, tin can,” Sam snapped back, “or I’ll replace you with her.” He motioned with his head towards Y/N, and she ducked further down on the couch. “You’re not special with your sniping.”

Bucky shook his head and threw her a quizzical look. “And what’s so special about you?”

Y/N would’ve probably answered nothing, that she’s completely ordinary because actually talking about her abilities and giving herself some credit was way beyond her skill set, so Sam stepped in.

“She’s an army vet and was in the Snakeskin program.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed. “Snakeskin?”

“They were an elite ground force group of troops trained to be as stealthy as assassins. Her specialty is sniping. So, don't go on thinking you're something special. 'Cause you're not.”

The super soldier now fully looked her over, and Y/N wanted the couch to cut open and swallow her whole, because holy fucking fuck, was Bucky’s gaze intense. It was like he was trying to carve out her soul just by looking at her. The only thing that came to her mind was to give him an awkward smile and a small wave. He gave her a nod and then looked back at Sam.

“I’ll be out for the rest of the day. Steve said he wanted some help with repainting the fence.”

“Yeah, you go be a good wife,” Sam waved him off and looked himself over once more in the mirror. “And please remind him he owes me twenty bucks.”

“What for?” Bucky hollered from the hallway.

“He knows!”

They only heard a scoff before the elevator dinged, announcing Bucky’s exit.

“So,” Sam looked at Y/N through the mirror. “That went well.”

If only that was how she saw it. Y/N thought Bucky hated her, and Sam’s little remark about her replacing him was not sitting well with the woman. She wasn’t there to replace anyone, least of all one of her childhood heroes who was doing everything in his power to prove his worth to the world (even though she didn’t think he had anything to prove and everyone else could just go off and fuck themselves).

She was just there to hopefully once again regain some sort of a sense to her life. After leaving the Snakeskin program, and being one of the victims of the Snap, it was hard to find where she belonged. Then Sam called Y/N up and told her they were reforming the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, and he wanted her to be a part of it, so she jumped on the opportunity.

And that’s what lead them to that moment – Y/N slowly sipping her coffee as Bucky tried to finish up a crossword puzzle. From time to time she glanced up from the swirling black liquid to the super-soldier, but of course, he wasn’t paying any kind of attention to her. He never did.

After their first meeting, their interactions were limited to small ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ and communicating during missions. There was never any direct animosity, but the fact that Bucky talked to everyone on a daily basis except for Y/N – well, she didn’t need it to be spelt out.

But it was just Y/N’s luck, wasn’t it? First, she got sent out on a mission with a man who can’t stand to even spare her a glance, then they get snowed in without a way out (even the jet was seven feet under the snow), and now New Years was right around the corner, and she would have to spend it all alone.

Y/N looked out the window to the never-changing scene of swirling white flakes. They weaved and moved in a dance she couldn’t comprehend. But while she watched what was happening beyond the glass, Bucky was watching her.

His eyes trailed the way her face curved and sloped, eyelids half-closed surveying the scenery, but mostly how her flannel shirt had slipped off from one of her shoulders. He so badly wanted to reach out and gently place it back to where it was, but he couldn’t.

Bucky was no longer the same confident man in an army uniform that used to sweep ladies off their feet and make them dance the night away. This man woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweat and could barely keep eye contact with anyone that wasn’t Steve, Shuri or Sam for no longer than five seconds. So, pulling Y/N’s shirt back up was out of the fucking question. But he didn’t have to dwell on it for too long.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” she announced, although she had no real idea as to why. Bucky only responded with a hum, which she guessed was more than what she expected to receive, but then again – it was more of an acknowledgement than she’d gotten in the three days they’d been stranded together.

The stream of hot water pelleting her skin was a welcome change from the icy touch of being ignored and discarded. Although Y/N was stuck in a safe house somewhere in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere in Finland, it was a Stark-created safehouse. So, it was occupied by every possible piece of technology. Including the best speakers known to man.

Because Y/N was a punk-rock emo bitch at heart (did you really think I wouldn’t put this in? Killjoys are back, suckers! Put on your fucking eyeliner and get ready cause it was not a phase, mom, it's a fucking lifestyle!), her playlist automatically switched from ‘Kicking-Ass’ that was designed to hype her up during missions to ‘Singing-Like-A-Rock-Star’ with ‘Gives You Hell’ blasting through the bathroom.

It was like Tony had known that people would be absolutely jamming in the bathrooms because the floor was lined with a rubber mat, giving Y/N the freedom to go ham.

And she sent up a little 'thank you' to wherever Tony was because she had needed that. She had needed to let go of all of the tension and thoughts that had collected in her body just so she could re-enter that same worrying state a second later. Just with clean hair now.

Pulling on comfy grey sweats and a huge navy-blue T-shirt, she twisted the towel and plopped it back over her head to keep the wet strands away. The house was constantly warm because Bucky kept the fireplace stocked almost 24/7, but it was even warmer now as he had added a new pile of wood, though the man himself was nowhere to be seen. Which was fine by Y/N.

With a huff and a roll of her head, she ventured into the kitchen, having decided that dinner needed to be had. It was halfway through her boiling pasta when the shrill sound of her phone ringing made her drop the sauce-slathered spoon.

“Yeah?” She pressed the phone between her shoulder and ear and went to wash off the spoon, careful not to put the curved-inward part under the stream.

“Y/N,” Sam’s warm voice invaded her senses. “How are you holding up? Fury and Maria says the storm’s still raging.”

A glance outside of the window told her as much. “Any news on when it might stop?”

“None at this moment,” Sam replied. “They’re checking every five minutes for an update so they can finally send an extraction bird out.”

“Ooh, can you ask Maria to send the one with the bed?”

“Sorry,” Sam sighed in mock sadness, “that one’s been sent out to Guatemala to pick up Wanda.”

“Ugh,” Y/N groaned and threw her head back. “Damn Wanda and her mission. Could she not like manage until she got back to the Tower? It's not like she's had to sleep in the middle of the jungle or something?”

Sam laughed, and it made her smile, knowing that he understood her joking tone. “Yeah, right? What a princess!”

Y/N smiled and finally added the pasta to the boiling water. “What are you gonna get her for her birthday?”

“Dunno,” her friend replied. “She’s been looking at that one perfume for a while, but we gotta figure out what Vis is getting first… speaking of other halves – you and Bucky getting on well?”

Y/N huffed turning to face the boiling pot and stirring the pasta in it. A little vortex formed completely mimicking how she felt on the inside. “As well as two people who can’t stand to be near one another, but have to share a place, can.”

She heard him chuckle. “Come on, it can’t be that bad! I still don’t think you’re in the right about this.”

“About what?” her eyebrows furrowed. She took out a piece of pasta and chewed on it. Still wasn’t the right texture.

“About Bucky. I think you’ve got it all wrong.”

The scoff that wanted to escape her throat was blocked by the piece of food, and she almost choked on it. “Sam, he fucking hates me!”

“I – I don’t hate you,” came a voice from behind Y/N, and she spun around, mouth left hanging open as her phone was clutched tightly by her ear.

She could practically hear Sam grin through the phone. “I guess you gotta go.”

Bucky stepped closer just as she lowered the now silent mobile. “Y/N, why would you ever think I hate you?”

“Be – because you do?”

“When did I say that?”

She shook her head. “You didn’t have to.”

Bucky’s whole face fell at her words. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you talk with everyone else but me. You can’t look me in the eye one bit, and do I need to remind you when you actually left the whole Christmas gala thing right after I walked in, and I quote ‘I can’t be around her’.”

Bucky’s eyes widened, and this time it was his jaw that hung open. “You heard that.”

“Loud and clear.”

“I – I,” he stammered and then cleared his throat. It was time to put all the cards on the table. “I only said that because had I stayed; I would’ve done something I’d regret.”

“Like what?”

“Like kissed you.”

And there went Y/N’s breath. And her heart. And her sanity. And frankly, everything she’d ever known.

“I would’ve most likely told you how I felt,” he said and stepped closer watching every facial feature of hers.

“And how do I make you feel?” she breathed out.

“Nervous. I haven’t had feelings like this for a girl in decades… and I didn’t know how to process them let alone act on them. Things have changed so much since I was chasing skirts… nowadays everything’s so complicated… and I was scared you wouldn’t feel the same. I mean, we have to work together, and we live in the same place, so if things didn’t work out… I just didn’t wanna risk it.”

As he talked, she had started to pace. In stressful situations where she didn’t have to focus on pulling the trigger or if she wasn’t trying not to trip off a treadmill, Y/N paced. A lot. She was pretty sure there was a line in the living room floor where she had done her thinking before missions.

“Wait, so you like me?” Y/N spun around and pointed at him. “Like really like me?”

“Yeah,” Bucky chuckled as relief flooded his veins. He wouldn’t have smiled as wide as he did, had he not seen her lips quirk up. “Yeah, I really like you.”

“And you don’t hate me?”

“Not one bit.”

Y/N stepped forward, head hanging low as she carefully grasped Bucky’s hand and intertwined their fingers, metal twining with flesh. “So, you like me?” she looked up at him, eyes intently watching his face. He squeezed her palm stepping closer as well, chest to chest at that point. He placed both of their hands right over his beating heart.

“Yeah, I do... Happy New Year, Y/N,” Bucky muttered with a shy smile gracing his face.

“What?” she had been so lost in his eyes that his words weren’t registering. His soft chuckle was like a melody designed by angels.

“I said Happy New Year.”

Y/N looked down to the worn watch on his right wrist and sure enough, the two hands were perfectly aligned to 12. A small chuckle escaped her mouth as she reconnected their gazes.

“Happy New Year, Buck.”

He was so close to her; she could smell the hot chocolate he had been drinking. Y/N closed her eyes, insides trembling as he leaned closer. But the kiss never came

“I heard you in the shower.”

“What!?”

Bucky grabbed a spoon from the table and used it as a microphone, pointing at Y/N and wiggling his hips to the rhythm of the song. “’ Hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!’” She shoved him away from her and through a laugh threw her towel at him.

“Ugh, I hate you!”

“No, you don’t!” Bucky grabbed at her waist and pulled her to him. Together they plopped down on the couch, and Bucky didn’t hesitate to pull her in his lap, legs thrown over his and head resting against his shoulder. Y/N looked up at him, her hand leaning against his stomach as she drew gentle circles on the shirt clad torso.

“Can I kiss you?”

She chuckled and moved closer to Bucky. “Are you still going to make fun of me and my singing?”

He looked like he was contemplating before he nodded, a wide smile on his face as he pressed his forehead against hers. “Yeah. Most definitely. For as long as you let me.”

“And if I say forever?”

She didn’t need to hear him say what was on his mind when the only thing that existed was Bucky’s smile. Y/N’s own lips widened, as he bent closer. The New Year and the new decade had begun quite a few minutes ago, but neither cared much because as their lips touched, a new chapter in their lives opened.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Bucky tag list: @thunderous-flower @who-cares-rn @projectxhappiness @callmebucky-doll @coal000 @killuaenthusiast @courtneychicken @sophiealiice @raquelbc2003 @watch-out-for-thorns @potentially-kinetic @thatonegirljessy99 @proxinge @bbkenna @buckysclub @ulired @fangirlofeverythingbasically @mrsalh32611 @horrorx570ximagines @the-nargles-made-me-do-it @pooslie @itsisabelanotisabella @httpmcrvel @purplebananatragedy @pxrrishly @parker-barnes-af @skulliebythesea @california-grown @stevehesaidabadlanguageword @belongsto-prachi @hello-i-am-insane @its-nott-my-problem

Marvel tags: @nerissa98 @happyseagrill @asguardiansoftheavengers @crazybutconfidentaf @wishingforahome @pizzarollpatrol @desir-ae

Forever tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @sweet-ladyy @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @teenwolflover28

A/N: Hi! so, quite a lot of things have happened. and the biggest thing is... I’m gonna be seeing MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE in JUNE!!! AAAHHHHH!!! I’ve been a fan of them since I was nine, and now I finally get the chance to see them perform live! I’ve never been so stressed in my life while trying to get tickets to something! I was in the middle of my 9 AM lecture and I was legit shaking. I fuffed about for like 3 seconds and those 3 seconds cost me the tickets... at first! and then it was like the emo gods were smiling down upon me, I saw there was another date added. I thought it was a glitch in the system because nothing was announced. so, obviously, I clicked off, only for my twitter notification to go off that they have announced they have added another date. I think it’s fair to say that I was barely functioning as I clicked furiously on my computer. And now I get the chance to see them... I am STOAKED!!!

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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10 Best Fighting Game Movies

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Once upon a time, Bruce Lee, Jim Kelly, and John Saxon visited a crime boss’ private island to compete in a fighting tournament and it was awesome. The 1973 movie Enter the Dragon is basically the prototype for the fighting games like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. And when those fighting games became popular, they inspired their own movies that either tried to emulate Enter the Dragon or do something completely new.

The ‘90s gave us the cheesy live-action fighting game movies from Hollywood and the animated movies from Japan. There have been several live-action Mortal Kombat movies as well as a few animated ones. There have also been multiple Street Fighter movies, four attempts at Tekken, a trilogy of Fatal Fury films, and more.

Are most of them bad? Yes. But did we pick our 10 favorite fighting game movies anyway? You bet. Here are our picks:

10. ART OF FIGHTING (1993)

Eh…it’s harmless.

The Art of Fighting series is mostly defined by the twist that the first game’s final boss is the main character’s father and the second game’s final boss is a younger incarnation of the villain from Fatal Fury. Take away those aspects and you’re left with a rather lowkey storyline for a fighting game where a teenage girl is kidnapped by a mobster and is rescued by her brother and her boyfriend.

Wait, I said that weird. It’s two different people, I swear! Except in Capcom, where Dan Hibiki is literally both of them merged into one character.

In the 45-minute Art of Fighting movie about Ryo and Robert, who are like chiller and dopier versions of Ryu and Ken, we watch as the duo gets sucked into a plot about stolen diamonds, martial arts criminals, and angry police lieutenants. It doesn’t take itself seriously and it’s a fine, breezy watch.

Ryo’s incorrect hair color kind of irks me, though.

9. STREET FIGHTER ALPHA: THE ANIMATION (1999)

This movie suffers from the same problem as Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture. It features a cast of heroes from a fighting game taking on a villain created for the movie instead of the villains we actually give a shit about. But the movie does also have some brief but awesome cameos (Kim Kaphwan and Geese Howard from Fatal Fury and Dan Hibiki and Akuma from Street Fighter Alpha) to brighten up a less-than-stellar plot.

Street Fighter Alpha: The Animation does at least get by because the original characters play up Ryu’s whole fear about being overcome by “the Dark Hadou.” This leads to some cool animations where Evil Ryu looks like a mindless, shambling zombie but also an unstoppable fighting machine.

The movie’s main storyline is about a kid named Shun who claims that he’s Ryu’s long-lost brother. He too is a fighter cursed with an inner dark side, which is used as a red herring to suggest that Shun’s father (and presumably Ryu’s father) is actually Akuma. That ends up being bupkis and Shun is just linked to some scheme by a mad scientist or whatever.

Probably the funniest thing about this movie is the directors’ infatuation with Chun-Li’s midsection. She’s wearing her form-fitting Street Fighter Alpha costume and there are dozens upon dozens of random close-ups to her lower torso from the front and back. If this were a drinking game, it would kill you.

8. FATAL FURY 2: THE NEW BATTLE (1993)

Of the Fatal Fury movie trilogy, this one is easily the best, even if it makes all the good guys seem like a bunch of overly-serious crybabies. The basic story is that after having avenged his father’s death, Terry hits rock bottom, dusts himself off, and comes out the other end stronger. Good, good. Going Rocky III is the perfect direction for a follow-up.

The problem is that Terry comes off as a bit of a whiner and the other heroes try way too hard to vilify the movie’s main antagonist, who hasn’t actually done anything that terrible. Krauser shows up one day, challenges Terry to a fight, wins, and says, “Okay, when you get better, train and fight me again.” Krauser isn’t trying to take over the world or murder orphans or whatever. He’s just a dude with huge shoulder armor who wants a good fight.

But everyone acts like Krauser’s the absolute worst. Terry starts drinking and falls to pieces while his buddies hope to get revenge. What a bunch of jerks.

While a fun romp, the worst thing about this sequel is how they redesigned Krauser. Gone is his mustache and forehead scar for the sake of making him seem younger. Kind of a bullshit move, considering he’s supposed to be the half-brother to middle-aged Geese Howard.

7. TEKKEN: THE MOTION PICTURE (1998)

This hour-long anime is almost great but just can’t stick the landing. It runs into the same problem as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation where the game series tells a specific overall story but the movie cuts corners to tell the same story. Tekken: The Motion Picture covers the first Tekken while setting up Tekken 3 and skipping Tekken 2 completely.

It means that everything’s well and good until the confusing and rushed finale. Otherwise, the movie is a fine use of the Enter the Dragon formula. Heihachi Mishima has a special island fighting tournament and the entrants include his vengeful son, a couple of cops investigating the situation, a gigantic robot, an angry Native American girl, two feuding assassin sisters, and a bunch of awesome characters who only get about three full frames of appearances each. Really would have liked to see something from Paul, King, and Yoshimitsu, though.

Other than Kazuya being pissed at everything, the best scenes are the over-the-top ones. When Jack does crazy robot stuff, when dinosaurs show up and start eating people, and that memorable sequence where Heihachi catches a hatchet with his mouth and then shatters it with his jaw.

6. STREET FIGHTER (1994)

I know this movie is just a GI Joe script with Street Fighter names pasted over it. I know it’s a cheesefest of dopey ideas and Belgian accents. I’ve long accepted that. Thing is, the movie is still a total blast to watch. What it lacks in faithfulness to the source material, it makes up for with pure camp and ham.

The 16 characters from Super Street Fighter II are represented here, except Fei Long is replaced with the forgettable Captain Sawada. How ironic that the movie star character isn’t even in the movie!

In general, the movie features some head-scratching depictions of classic Street Fighter characters. All-American Guile is played by Jean Claude Van Damme, Charlie Nash and Blanka are the same character, Dee Jay is an evil hacker, Ryu and Ken are comedic conmen, and Dhalsim is a frumpy scientist.

It’s Raul Julia’s M. Bison who keeps this guilty pleasure afloat. He’s to Street Fighter what Frank Langella’s Skeletor was to Masters of the Universe. He gives 110% and his performance is easily the best reason to watch this movie. It’s truly a wonder to behold.

Games

The Forgotten Fighting Games of the 1990s

By Gavin Jasper

Games

King of Fighters: Ranking All the Characters

By Gavin Jasper

The movie is infamous for inspiring a fighting game based on it, but you know what nobody ever talks about? The Double Dragon movie also had a fighting game based on it made by Technos and released on the Neo Geo. And Double Dragon wasn’t even a one-on-one fighter to begin with!

Anyway, if you intend to sit back and watch Street Fighter, make sure to add in the RiffTrax commentary.

5. DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE (2006)

Enter the Dragon meets Charlie’s Angels is a heck of a concept, but DOA: Dead or Alive is so confidently tongue-in-cheek that it succeeds as an action comedy that’s way better than it has any right to be. Part of why it works is that Dead or Alive has never had much of an overarching storyline, but is more defined by the individual characters (plus, you know, all the cheesecake). Enough of those characters appear in what’s your regular “fighting tournament on a mysterious island” setup.

The whole thing moves with such energy that it’s easy to get sucked in. It’s the opposite of the live-action Tekken movie, where even though the film features accurate versions of all the characters, everything is so drab and lifeless that you just can’t wait for it to be over. In DOA, the combatants spend their downtime playing cartoony action volleyball with Fake Dennis Rodman on commentary, while in Tekken everyone mopes about dystopian capitalism.

Other than Helena’s character being “important dead guy’s daughter,” most of the main characters are charismatic enough to keep your attention during the 3% of the movie when fights aren’t happening. It must suck for Ninja Gaiden fans that Hayabusa is depicted as a total dweeb, but he at least gets to do some cool stuff here and there.

The movie also has Kevin Nash playing a character based on Hollywood Hogan and he’s so likeable that I’m genuinely bummed that he peaces out about halfway into the movie. Luckily, the movie is entertaining enough that I didn’t even notice until after it was over. It helps that during that time, we get more of Eric Roberts, his amazing hair, and his special sunglasses that turn him into the ultimate martial arts master.

Spoiler alert, but the secret to defeating him is, get this, removing his sunglasses!

4. MORTAL KOMBAT LEGENDS: SCORPION’S REVENGE (2020)

It took a while, but Warner Bros. Animation is on fire these days. After that Batman vs. TMNT movie and Teen Titans Go vs. Teen Titans, the studio appears to be hitting more than they miss. That’s exactly the kind of team needed to put together the latest animated Mortal Kombat movie.

This is the umpteenth retelling of the first game’s story. Not only does it have to compete with the first live-action movie, but also the events of Mortal Kombat 9, which depicts the tournament in cutscene format. Fortunately, Scorpion’s Revenge has a few tricks up its sleeve. First, it puts Scorpion in the forefront as the protagonist. He was barely a character in the original movie and the game just had him kill Sub-Zero and feel bad about it for the rest of the story mode. Now he feels like a character in a crossover, making a mark on the original story instead of being put in the sidelines.

We also have the wonderful stunt casting of Joel McHale as Johnny Cage. More importantly, Jennifer Carpenter plays Sonya Blade, which is such a step up from Ronda Rousey’s voice acting in Mortal Kombat 11.

This cartoon has a very hard R when it comes to violence. From the very beginning, Scorpion’s origins are gruesome and grisly. Once Jax is introduced, it doesn’t take long until we realize, “Oh, that’s how they’re dealing with THAT plot point in this continuity.” Then there’s a surprise villain death late in the movie that not only comes as a shocking development, but it’s so graphic and nasty that you can’t help but be taken aback.

Scorpion’s Revenge is a fantastic first chapter of what is hopefully a series of animated movies, but it does have its pacing issues. Scorpion being the protagonist may be a welcome change, but at times it does feel like a square peg being crammed into a round hole.

3. TEKKEN: BLOOD VENGEANCE (2011)

One of the best things about the Tekken series is the endings. While the cutscenes from the first couple games haven’t exactly aged well, these CGI epilogues have become a staple in nearly every installment. What better reward for your time and success than watching a rocking action sequence with Yoshimitsu and Bryan Fury killing each other in the jungle?

And so, to play to the series’ strengths, Bandai Entertainment released a Tekken movie that’s really just one big ending cutscene. It’s not canon, but it feels at home with the games.

Since Tekken’s main conflict is with two ruthless megalomaniacs (Heihachi and Kazuya) and a disgruntled nihilist (Jin), it’s hard to treat any of them as a real protagonist here. Instead, they go with Ling Xiaoyu, who is portrayed as the person who sees the good in Jin and wants him to see the light. She’s given a robotic BFF in Alisa Bosconovitch because Xiaoyu is kind of a tame character and needs someone with chainsaw arms and a jetpack to liven things up.

The first hour or so is good enough to keep your attention and its lightened up by a couple appearances by Tekken’s best character, Lee. But once it gets to the third act, it just becomes a completely awesome Heihachi vs. Kazuya vs. Jin fight, with Xiaoyu taking a backseat to watch all the crazy shit going on. It’s a full-on fireworks factory, as we not only see Devil forms of Kazuya and Jin but a very special final form for Heihachi that’s a true delight for Tekken fans.

2. STREET FIGHTER II: THE ANIMATED MOVIE (1994)

Let it be said that for someone who grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, finding a faithful cartoon adaptation of a video game property was not easy. Link and Simon Belmont were unlikable sexual harassers. Mega Man was a more annoying sidekick than Scrappy Doo. Mario and Luigi teamed up with Milli Vanilli. Power Team was…a thing. When we got an animated movie based on Street Fighter II, it was mind-blowing. This was a movie where the very first scene was Ryu tearing Sagat’s chest into a bloody gash thanks to a well-animated Shoryuken.

There’s a lot going on in this movie, but at the same time, nothing is going on. By this point, there were 17 characters in the various Street Fighter II games, and outside of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Akuma cameo, it feels the need to include every single one of them. Some get minor roles, like Cammy and Dee Jay. Then there’s Zangief and Blanka, who fight each other for no reason other than for the sake of giving them something to do. Even Ryu vanishes for a huge chunk of the runtime.

Once everything funnels into the third act, this movie is great. And the earlier fight scenes are straight fire too, including the memorable Chun-Li vs. Vega brawl. Even though the movie already feels true to Street Fighter II, it’s even better when you realize that it’s all supposed to be a prequel to the game itself.

Or at least I hope so. Otherwise, all Sagat gets to do is get his ass kicked by Ryu and get chewed out by Bison.

1. MORTAL KOMBAT (1995)

The stars truly aligned for this one. Mortal Kombat Mania was at its peak, so it makes sense that this movie was a retelling of the first game’s story with added aspects from the second game, all while hyping up the arcade release of the third game. CGI was such a novelty in Hollywood in the ’90s that even if it looked primitive, it still looked cutting edge at the time. It was the perfect time to release this movie.

But Mortal Kombat isn’t perfect. Reptile is embarrassing. Scorpion and Sub-Zero being relegated to goons still stings. I still roll my eyes at the part towards the end where Sonya is suddenly the damsel in distress and Raiden flat-out verbally buries her by saying she couldn’t beat Shang Tsung in a million years. Otherwise, it’s the perfect storm of ‘90s action garbage.

There are so many over-the-top and charismatic performances here. Johnny Cage, Raiden, Shang Tsung, Kano, and even Goro are a blast to watch. All 10 characters from the original game are given something to do and, most importantly, they realize how uniquely weird the game’s story is and actually dive headfirst into it. The movie isn’t embarrassed to be a Mortal Kombat movie but handles itself well enough that we aren’t embarrassed to be watching a Mortal Kombat movie.

Even with a PG-13 rating, the movie was violent enough. Kano talked up seeing a pile of frozen guts in the wake of a Sub-Zero fight, Scorpion got his skull sliced apart with demon brain goo spewing all over the place, and Shang Tsung got impaled to death.

With the reboot being rated R, going for the gore could very well be the right route to go, but for the love of the Elder Gods, don’t forget to have FUN. All I’m saying is, if even Johnny Cage isn’t hamming it up, then what’s the point?

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agent-yolk-writes · 5 years

Text

Friends Like You and Us - Venom!Reader - Ch. 4

And we’re back! First AO3, then Quotev, now finally Tumblr! Good thing for post resets.

In today’s episode, we jump straight back to the present to meet the last member of the B-Team. Venom has a plan for once, the Reader is Absolutely Done(tm) physically and emotionally, and what Aunt Mary doesn’t know who her nibling is bringing into their apartment while she’s on a business trip won’t kill her...yet.

(Nibling is the gender-neutral term for niece/nephew, the more you know)

Note: If you’re using this to teleport to the AO3 version I would like to give a heads up that the italics for some reason stop working when the Reader meets Peni. I don’t know how to fix it, so it be like that sometimes. Enjoy!

Previous Chapter | Start from the beginning | AO3 version

...

Indeed, it did get weirder.

You didn’t realize that the hunt for your next meal took so long. The sun just...got ahead of you. The shadows in this creepy part of the city started stretching, covering everything in its path. You thought your eyes were playing tricks when you saw another pair of Spider-man’s white eyes in the darkness behind Ham. The tingling sensation faded as the shadow started moving, revealing that it was an actual goddamn person.

Despite being a self-proclaimed ‘superhero’ for almost a week now, you aren’t getting paid enough for this.

You rubbed your eyes expecting this weird dizzy spell would go away, but upon opening them again they were still standing there staring at you.

“Don’t worry, I get that all the time.” Ham commented. He eyed his taller companion and nudged him on the thigh. “C’mon man, you can’t just stand there menacingly forever.”

“...”

Should I just go or-

“You got some nerve stealing the glory of someone else’s hard work.” Great, he also sounds familiar. Is this some reunion you didn’t get the memo for?

“Well you certainly can’t leave them here to waste!” You rebutted as you stood up. “Someone’s gotta clean up, and it might as well be us.”

“There’s no us in this, missy.” He rebutted.

“That’s not what I-Ugh, whatever!” You shook your head in your heads in frustration before looking back at them. “Look, we’re not going to get anywhere bickering like this.” You motioned your hands to the two. “You guys are out of place, clearly. Let’s discuss this somewhere else before-“ On cue, the sudden wail of police sirens announced their presence as they block off the only ground entrance out of here. Venom instinctually covered your ears to block out the loud sound. “...that.” You sound of your croak almost sounded not human.

The two looked at each other. While you were right that this isn’t the ideal spot for an interrogation, you’re still not in the clear of their suspicions.

“Alright. Let’s skedaddle then, but you’re not out of the hot seat yet, missy.” The brooding spider detective said, shooting a spider web and letting it pull him up. You couldn’t help but groan, he speaks like a dad in a cartoon.

Ham nudged you deeper into the alley. “C’mon kid. It’s quieter up top.” You could feel Venom trying to dig your heels into the dirt, but at this point, it was too dangerous.

Spider-Ham, also known as Peter Porker, was in fact not a pig at first. According to him, he was the spider bitten by a radioactive pig that later became his aunt. He told you not to think about it too much. In his world, everyone has been anthropomorphized into an animal. He works at the Daily Beagle where they work him like a dog trying to sniff out the latest scoop. He was just finishing a fight with a mad scientist lobster before he got snatched between dimensions. The more he talks, the more vocal your thoughts are trying to figure out where have you heard his voice before. A thought passed somewhere about what you might look like in his world.

His black and white companion was Spider-Man Noir, also known as Peter Benjamin Parker, who lived in a monochromic version of Earth in the 1930s. He used to investigate stories for the Daily Bugle and during that time a spider that resided in an exotic statue from Africa escaped and bit him. After the betrayal and death of his mentor Ben (“Not to confuse ya with my uncle Ben, who also bit the dust.” He explained.), he decided to become a P.I. and fight Nazis along the way. You liked this guy already, and yet he also sounds so familiar.

To think just half an hour or so, you were about to metaphorically throw hands and eat heads…

And we still didn’t eat them.

Yea, I’m a bit disappointed too. I’ll make it up later.

Those poor criminals, wasted. Handed to the police before you could even nibble on a finger. If Venom starts to act up like a grumpy child, it’s on them. After the small buzzing in your ears died down, all you’re left with is that dull throbbing in your head that you get with migraines and hunger from both you and your companion. It’s not your fault the universe slapped a literal man-eater on you.

Then again, after the whole exposition dump they piled on you, you felt a little guilty sprinkling your truth with little white lies on top. By the way your companion was treated by his not-so-friendly superhero, you could only assume that it’s mutual throughout the alternative universes. Better play it safe and claim you built your suit out of some nanotech that was laying around...somewhere. You even ‘pulled down’ your mask as a sign of trust.

You regained your focus when Venom used your limbs to jump between buildings to catch up with the eccentric duo. You haven’t really kept in touch with the whole lore of superheroes. They didn’t involve you, so you didn’t get involved. It wasn’t going to be the end of the world if you didn’t reblog five different gifsets of the same skit Tony Stark was in on Sunday Night Live. If they’re taking you to some secret spider cave, then it’s news to you.

Speaking of which,

“Sooo,” You decided to break the ice. “Where...exactly are we heading to?”

“Our own little Hooverville.” Noir answered. “It ain’t much, but it’s the best we got at the moment.”

“Plus we already have someone guarding the helm while we searched for more folks like you!” Ham added.

“You’re telling me there’s another one of you guys?” You held your hands up and counted the total number of spider heroes, not including yourself.

“And together, we make quite a ragtag bunch.” Ham continued on. “Who knew you could make a robot shaped like a spider?”

“Don’t forget the fact it’s small enough for that kid to get in and out with ease and her fingers still intact.” Noir added.

“Who...is this…’person’ you’re talking about?” You questioned, trying not to assume to worse.

“Don��t worry, she’s a sweetheart.” The detective added. “She’s got spunk for someone her size.”

Oh god, Venom.

What?

If this is an actual child I swear-

“Welcome back!”

You had to give your eyes a good rub to process what you were seeing. In front of you was indeed a small mecha shaped like a spider. The red and blue metal pieces clash together but at the same time was fitting for something like it. The small figure that was tinkering one of the robot’s legs when you arrived. As they stood up and you finally get a good look at her, you wanted to go apeshit over the fact that, indeed, it’s an actual child piloting a robot. You’ve seen like two movies that basically told you why it’s a bad idea for a kid to pilot a destructive machine in the first place.

You can tell by her appearance alone that she too is from another universe. You couldn’t describe it, but her dimensions seem...rather flat? No, that’s not the right word. Whatever it is, Ham has it too. You thought it was just Ham being Ham up until now since, after all, he's a walking, talking, crime-fighting pig you see in cartoons.

“Hey kid, hope there weren’t any scuffles while we were gone.” Noir was the first to greet her as she ran up to him.

“Nope! It was quiet as a mouse.” Was her response. She peered around his brooding form and met your eyes. Her eyes managed to grow even bigger as she approaches you excitedly.

”Hello! You must be the one we were sensing!” She grabbed your hand, giving it a nice shake. “I’m Peni Parker, and that over there is my robot SP//dr!” As if on cue, SP//der’s faceplate lit up and gave a friendly wave. Out of politeness, you waved back while ignoring the spidey-sense going off threefold.

Peni Parker...Peter “Noir” Parker...Peter Porker...Not to alarm anyone, but you think there’s some kind of pattern going here, and you’re the outlier. Well, at least Gwanda is with you for this one.

”H-Hello, Peni…” God, why are you acting so awkward all of the sudden? ”I’m (First Name), hero name TBA.” You shot your arm out awkwardly, letting the small girl take the reins in the art of the first handshake. You wonder if she can sense your weirdness with that firm grip of hers.

“So, now what?” Ham was the first to break the silence before it got weird. “We’re basically sitting ticking time bombs until we figure out a way to get back home! New kid!” He pointed at you, making you jump at the sudden action. “You got anything new to contribute?”

Shit! Shit! No one told me this was a quiz! Vee!

...We have an idea. Cover us.

Huh?! You have a-

Venom assumed control of your body, shrugging off your backpack to find your phone. Your phone? What could there possibly be on your...Oh! You have...some sort of an idea on what he’s doing! Maybe.

“Actually,” You started, bracing yourself like you’re stalling for time on an in-class presentation. “I heard a rumor the other day online…” Subtly, Venom pulled back the tendrils over your thumb so your phone can scan your print. “Somebody on a high-rise took a picture of the area-passwordiscapitalqwerty-where Spider-Man died. Can’t guarantee that-yesallcaps-you’ll see the body with this quality though.” Now if you can only find said photo if the mods of that subreddit didn’t remove it first. Ugh, this public wifi sucks ass. Who's hoarding it at this hour?

It doesn’t help that your hand is visibly shaking as your phone struggles to detect any pressure from your sweaty appendages and three sets of eyes that are on you expectedly aren't making this any easier. To make sure karma knows it's laughing at you, your phone slipped out of your grip at the most inopportune moment. Your case had taken some beatings in the past, but you know for sure by the sound of the landing that it was time for it to be replaced. You just stood there frozen, wondering when the panic attack kicks in.

Instead, your tingling skin is your only warning before your muscles went out of control. It felt like you were being ripped from the inside out and then being ripped outside in twice fold. The pained garble coming out of your mouth was either coming from you or Venom. It was tough to see with your spotty vision, but it looks like your newly befriended companions were going through this too in various states of pain.

After a few seconds, the out of body experience ended. You know immediately that trying to get up quickly will kick you in the ass right after.

You good, buddy?

Peachy.

Figured.

When you patted around and found your phone, you couldn’t help but grimace at the sight of new cracks branching over your screen.

”Son of a bitch…” You couldn't help but swear out. ”You know what? This would be better if I did this at my place, yeah?” Digging your hands into your face you inhale, waited, and exhale slowly. When you looked up, they were still staring at you with concerned eyes. “What? It’s my first week on the job, can you give me some slack?”

While you knew your aunt was a few hours away somewhere upstate you couldn’t help but pray that she doesn’t decide to come back home in the darkness of the night. If Penn Station was closer, maybe you could’ve caused some delays on the Amtrak. Didn’t help that you now have guests sheltering in your apartment clearly not built for four heroes of various sizes that had to get inside through the window. You hope no one in the next building over calls the police. You all even put a tarp over SP//dr, much to the dismay of the robot, to make sure it doesn’t end up on your social media timeline later on. At least Mr. Davis wasn’t there when you unlocked the door manually.

“It’s nothing much, but it’s the best I can do. Make yourself at home.” You didn’t need to say that twice. Almost instantly they go around poking and observing whatever they can. “Can I...get any of you something to drink?”

“An egg cream for me.”

“I’ll take some juice, please!”

“Rum and coke. Shaken, not stirred.”

You have no idea what an egg creme is, there’s only vegetable juice in the fridge, and there’s certainly no alcohol in this apartment. You’ll make it work somehow.

Keyword: somehow.

Do pig-spiders even need to get drunk in the first place? According to Google, egg cream is just a fancy way of saying milkshake. How old are these people exactly?

#spiderverse #spidersona #x reader #spiderman into the spiderverse #spiderman into the spiderverse & reader #spiderman into the spiderverse x reader #spiderverse x reader #venom x reader #venom & reader #venom symbiote x reader #venom symbiote/reader #venom/reader #reader insert #my writing #friends like you and us

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oftripps · 5 years

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“ –– wow. ” it’s not so much a critique as it is a g-rated expletive. tripp forces a smile mid-chew and blinks. “ my tastebuds are screaming. gah–– uh, singing. singing. ” he avoids swallowing and as ring-decorated fingers snag a napkin, wide eyes drifting to the tabletop as a small jingle breezes past tensed lips. “ ~ allergic to mushrooms ~ ”

or, alternatively: this is somethin’ new! the caspar slide pt. 2 !! & this time, it’s ‘bout to get funky !! so i’m linc and this is tripp and he’s........ a trip, honestly, so let’s just... yeet on into this ––

( joe keery + 22 + muse 12 ) isn’t that phillip joel “tripp” goodman over there? i heard he joined faction: one after they got back to west ham. it’s funny, ‘cause they were only on the service trip because HIS BANDMATES DUPED HIM INTO THINKING THE SIGN-UP WAS FOR A WOODS-THEMED OPEN MIC GIG. hopefully they fit in there – they’re JAUNTY but also OUTRÉ. oh, i’m sure they’ll be fine.

out the door ! ( tripp goodman: a roadmap )

look up townie family in the dictionary and you’ll find a portrait of the goodmans directly beside. these folks have a looooong flippin’ legacy here in lil’ ole west ham, kansas. it all started with montgomery goodman, a good man, who helped west ham’s founders break ground on this midwestern charmer several centuries ago. and now, the goodmans still live on the same property –– a refurbished farmhouse ( now closer to mcmansion ) surrounded by five acres of roooooollin’ hills. once upon a time, they were farming folk. now, theresa and joel goodman run the town’s one and only veterinary clinic.

honestly, growing up? tripp was a problematic kid. he’d take in frogs from the woods and start his own frog hotels. he’d sneak pets from the clinic to school who “ needed help learning their numbers ”. in class, he’d flick sunflower seeds at the backs of his peers’ heads and, when threatened with discipline, claim he simply “ wanted to see if they’d grow ” . so no, to answer your question–– tripp never really saw the real wrath warranted by his rulebreaking.

in fourth grade, he chose the saxophone as his required instrument. he caused such a commotion in his house, that his parents asked his teachers to suggest something quieter. the viola. the flute. the clarinet. the piano. instruments came and went,;instruments were quickly mastered and abandoned. because dear lord, how many times could they listen to the spongebob theme song played on woodwind ?! on strings ?! once middle school rolled around, little phillip joel knew his way around a whopping total of six instruments, a tally that would only grow in the coming years. eventually, his parents caved and allowed him to keep playing, so long as he respected instrument curfews. they gave song requests to avoid hearing the same pieces on repeat: the goodman household was probably the only one blessed with an oboe-and-beatbox rendition of under the sea. young phillip joel’s take on the issue was simple: not all heroes wore capes.

( tw: domestic unrest, mentions of violence ) theresa and joel split when tripp was 9. just seven months later, tripp’s mother moved in with her girlfriend: tripp’s guitar teacher, ms. lillith. tripp didn’t mind ms. lillith. she was chill. he came to find out she could knock back a chocolate milk almost as fast as he could, and she liked her grilled cheeses with swiss only. his best friend became a thirty-six year old woman who happened to be his mother’s girlfriend. and that was fine. he could dig it. but joel goodman? oh no. his family name was tarnished. the scandal was too much to bear. joel sued for full custody and nearly made it, thanks to hometown politics and loyalties. but then he made one fatal mistake: he crossed his own son.

at 10 years old, fifth grade phillip joel returned home to his father’s after school with three fingernails painted effervescent blue. sidney frasier made me so cool, he gushed as he put his colored nails on proud display. dad, aren’t i so cool? the next day, his dad enrolled him in the town’s peewee football program. he returned home from his first practice with a black eye and a split lip. from a ball, the coach insisted. hit the poor fella square in the face, real strong. phillip joel put up a fight against football; it wasn’t for him. it conflicted with music practice. couldn’t he just play music with ms. lillith instead?

the custody battle persisted. they settled on a parenting schedule. joel contested, consistently, months later. and so the cycle persisted up until phillip joel’s 12th year, when he was knocked out cold on the football field. the broken ribs came from hefty tackles. bruises from the fall. concussion from the impact. but theresa spun it to her advantage: joel had since started coaching the middle school team. this was an instance of parental neglect. and, when the courts didn’t comply, she instructed her son to jump down the stairs. one broken ankle later, and joel goodman was accused of child abuse. his word against his injured son’s. the maneuver won theresa full custody. phillip joel has yet to forgive himself.

after the custody battle’s conclusion, joel stayed in town: but phillip joel didn’t want a thing to do with sharing his name. his mother still scolds him as phillip joel, but to everyone else, he became tripp –– inspired by his knack for, you guessed it!, tumbling over his own two feet.

in high school, tripp was the class clown. always smirking, always grinning, always ready to catch someone off guard. he became a pivotal part of west ham high’s jazz band, and even formed a small group with a few buds: face. they played some school events: homecoming, pep rallies, prom. garage-baked young rock, their songs often preached meetings under bleachers and high school never ending.

in senior year, the band saw a reboot: and after assuming a more indie, spacey sound and a nifty new name –– 1757. –– they saw a rise in local celebrity. coffee shops commissioned them for jam nights. they played on the local radio. so they collectively decided to stick around and see how far they could ride this west ham fame train. with tripp as their frontman, they always leave a memorable impression: he’s not exactly the most run-of-the-mill performer.

1757.’s sound is reminiscent of LANY: i’ve reblogged a few tunes onto tripp’s blog for reference. he’s v much a paul klein / matty healy vibe. big into music. big into losing himself in it.

so what was he up to before the service trip? playin’ tunes. working part-time as a waiter. and brainstorming ways to get out of going on this trip, as soon as he realized his stupid bandmates lied about the form he signed. an open mic in the woods ! pah ! he should have known. but the concept sounded pretty flippin’ cool.

wear our shades on our nose, 'cause we're cool like that ( tripp goodman: the man, the myth, the ledge )

oh god, he’s w e i r d . he believes in goblins and ghosts and aliens ( oh my )!

still VERY VERY close with his mother. v broken up about not being able to get through to her, because it was about to be his parents’ wedding anniversary and they were going to anti-celebrate it with big slices of oreo cheesecake and setting things on fire.

how he feels about coming home to west ham: post apocalyptic version.

uhhhh... can he please get a waffle? specifically a cinnamon raisin waffle with extra cinnamon and a shit ton of syrup? actually. syrup with a side of waffles?

why he was banned from his personal twitter.

“ do you even lift, bruv? ” * proceeds to pick up a teacup & lift his pinkie like a true knock-off british monarch, shitty accent included *

listens to wham! and glam rock. unironically.bluetooth speaker mounted on his bike. no helmet! like an absolute boss. he knows!! wild!! shades on. it’s 2am. it’s dark. but true swag obeys no clock.

catch him biking everywhere stranger things style, actually. his bike’s name is milo because he can roll on for miles. mess with milo and he’ll fuck u up. aka find out if you’re lactose intolerant and slip heavy cream into your meal.

has a strong vendetta against blue doritos. which might take root in some horrific experiences involving cheez wiz, cool ranch, weed, and the new york subway system at 4am on a tuesday. spring break freshman year of college. oof.

he has a lil drawwwwl. tease him about it. he’ll probably blush.

stress-hums chili’s babyback ribs without realizing. catch him singin’ that about to be murdered.

weapon of choice: kindness.

actual weapon of choice: baseball bat.

he will write little jingles to keep morale up. “ so we’re trapped / cash us inside / how bou’ dat ? ”

has a passion for introspective literary quotes. but... has somehow managed to learn each and every one wrong.

friggin’ loves superheroes even though he can’t be bothered to watch the films? he just… always used to get made fun of for liking comic books even though he never read them? “ arachnid man is uh... heh. he’s pretty dope, huh? ” he embraces the falsehood. someone call him on it.

9/10 times if he’s in the gym, it’s just to eat his donut and watch pay-per-view movies on the bike for free.

apple pie can absolutely be breakfast if you try hard enough. jeez. get with the times, man!

he had a legitimate pet rock before going on this service trip. but has no idea where that bugger’s gone. probably got fed up with tripp serenading him with “ we will rock you ” at all hours of the night.

lawful good. will wave other drivers on forever.

got into an accident on his bike once. bitch broke his arm and he just kept on smiling. “ no you have a nice day! and uh.... hey. mind if we like... call an ambulance? ”

low key feels like he’s the reason his parents’ marriage crumbled. low key guilty about it. low key wonders if maybe he lived up to his father’s expectations, he might have saved them a lot of grief.

give benny goodman by saint motel a listen and tell me that’s not his soul in audio form.

known for slightly hyperbolic storytelling.

pansexual as heck. falls in love. hard. it’s a mess. he can’t hide it. hence the shades.

he has brilliant hair. and it’s immortalized in his high school yearbook.

is hellbent on being a source of positivity in this terrible situation. can he interest you in a meme in these trying times? how ‘bout a granola bar? maybe a good ole game of mash?

he’s convinced this is an elaborate prank. or a social experiment. maybe aliens. but let’s not question it too much, let’s just.... have a good time? hakuna matata? no worries? lol where the twizzlers at?!

leaves a voicemail for his mother every morning and every night. maybe he cries. maybe.

he has one ear pierced because like.......... senior year of high school, he wanted to feel more cool.

allergic to mushrooms, shellfish, eggs, and harbingers of doom.

he truly boggles minds. just.... v out there? v spacey. he closes his eyes and drifts about on stage, fingers dancing on the keys, body moving in eclectic ways. he says “groovy” and fuckin’ means it. he dresses in prints inspired by grandma’s carpet. lots of half-buttoned flowy shirts, boots, tailored statement pants, dangly necklaces. he’s got his hands full of rings –– they symbolize milestones. and some are just, like... pretty. and one’s his mother’s old wedding band.

where the hell are my friends ! ( wanted connectz. )

i was gonna do a whole section on this and got lazy but like.... anything. all the things. good, bad, ugly, beautiful. hurt him. make him suffer. but also support him a bit.

i imagine he’s got a solid squad goin’. he’s in faction one too, so... hmu for those.

i feel like he’d be pretty chill with the greeks? yeah bro, he parties. he’ll chill. he’ll crack open a cold one and pretend to understand what those letters on your jacket mean! pie-apple-fate-uh? cool stuff !

ride or dies. pls.

he needs someone to like....... melt his heart. maybe someone unexpected.

thisssss got long & disorganized but yes! let’s plot! let’s do this thang! #hype!!

#apogeeintro #✰ mother trucker dude; that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick ! isms.#if u cannot tell...... he is a gay ass MEME

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imaginetonyandbucky · 6 years

Note

Hi there! I has a prompt! Steve has told the Avengers at various points what a ladies man Bucky was back in the day and at some point suggested that he could give Tony a run for his money in the saucy flirt department. Tony doesn't believe it and challenges Bucky to lay it on him. Maybe even in front of the team? Idk, I just picture a tongue tied Tony and oodles of tension.

A/N: Hi! I tweaked the prompt a little but I really like how it turned out and I hope you do too!

---

Back in the Day (Before the Potted Plants)

“Bucky can do it.”

The entire team groaned. ‘Bucky can do it’ was pretty much Steve’s solution for anything at that point. As if through sheer force of stubbornness, Steve could convince the other Avengers to give Bucky a mission. But that wasn’t how things worked with the Avengers. Not anymore. And Bucky wasn’t ready. Everyone but Steve could see it.

“I can do it,” Clint said.

The ‘it’ in question really shouldn’t be that hard. Tony was going to a fancy party later that evening, and he needed a reason to slip off to a very specific guest bedroom so he could track down some long-forgotten HYDRA microfilm that Maria Hill thought was hidden there. It’d be suspicious if Tony walked upstairs alone. No one was going to give him a second glance if he was kissing a stranger on the way up.

So that was the problem and Clint was a workable solution. He was relatively unknown. If he wasn’t carrying a bow on his back, no one ever recognized him as an Avenger.

“Hawkeye it is,” Tony said.

“Shouldn’t you practice?” Steve asked. From the smirk on his face, he was clearly ribbing them.

“Think I can kiss Stark fine tonight on the first try,” Clint said smartly.

“I dunno,” Natasha said, her smile full of mischief. “You’re going to need to make it convincing, and you are straighter than your arrows.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, look--” Clint stood, marched over to Tony and paused.

Tony didn’t like to be touched. He appreciated that Clint waited. And rather than nod, Tony just leaned up to close the short distance between them and opened his mouth into a kiss. It was brief, but apparently believable, since when he pulled back, they were met with applause.

“Believable enough for you?” Tony asked Steve.

Steve shrugged. “Bucky’d do it better.”

“The Bucky who’s barely said one word to any of us but you in a month?” Tony asked. “And lurks behind the potted plants? That Bucky’s going to come to this party, charm me enough that it’ll convince the assholes who’ve known me since I was a teenager, and then kiss me up the stairs?”

There was no missing Tony’s doubt. His voice was thick with it.

“I’m just sayin’, back in the day, no one was a better flirt,” Steve insisted. “He’d have charmed your pants off in under a minute.”

“The other day I asked Barnes what kind of pizza he wanted and he said “round” and walked away,” Tony sighed. “I’m not seeing the charm.”

Steve started cackling. Cackling so hard he nearly fell off his chair, and Tony looked at Clint for help, because now that he’d repeated the conversation out loud, it did feel a little like maybe Barnes was trolling him. And trolling wasn’t a far jump to normal-enough-to-join-the-team. At least this team.

“Maybe Bucky can help next time?” Bruce suggested. “Flirting with Tony comes up at least once every couple of months.”

“Everyone gets a try,” Clint said cheerfully. “Who would have ever thought your reputation for bagging strangers would come in so handy?”

“I was playing the long game,” Tony laughed. “I’m that damn smart.”

“Sure you are, champ,” Steve smirked.

There was a flicker of movement out in the hall. Probably Bucky skulking again. How Steve thought that was mission-ready behavior, Tony couldn’t guess.

Later that night, he wouldn’t have to.

(Watch out for the break!)

The mission went tits up all of ten seconds in.

“Shit, shitshitshit,” Clint swore into the comms. “Julia Clearwater’s here. I gotta go before she sees me.”

“What?” Tony whispered into his comm.

“She knows who I am. She knows what I do. And she is not a friendly. If she spots me talking to you, it’s game over.”

“Nat, can you cover?” Steve asked into the comm.

“Negative. Julia knows me too. She’s ex-SHIELD. Bruce?”

“Right,” Bruce replied. “Just take a few seconds to teach me how to blend into a fancy party like that and also how not to make a face when Tony’s tongue is in my mouth and--”

“Cap, you’re up,” Tony mumbled as he took a drink of his champagne.

“That’s not happening,” Natasha said. “Steve’s way too recognizable.”

“Bucky can do it,” Steve interrupted. “He’s shadowing tonight, so he’s already around.”

“And you were going to tell us he was shadowing when?” Tony asked.

“When anything went wrong and we needed a sniper,” Steve sighed. “Our sniper was going to be occupied by your tongue. Natasha knew.”

“And I agreed it was a good idea,” Natasha added.

“We’re gonna talk about this later,” Tony whispered.

“We’re out of options,” Steve said. “So we call the mission or you give Bucky a chance.”

“What about his arm?” Bruce asked. “That’s a pretty notable feature. An ex-SHIELD operative might recognize it from the ghost stories.”

“He’s got it covered. Literally,” Steve explained. “Nat gave him a photostatic bracelet. His hand will look human.”

“And what about a tux?” Tony asked.

“M’on it,” Bucky’s voice came in quietly through the comm.

There was a telling thud. Tony hoped whoever’s tux Bucky was “borrowing” was asshole enough to deserve the rough treatment.

“Recognized a HYDRA operative about my size,” Bucky said with his ever-spooky calm. “Two birds, one stone.”

“Then come on in,” Tony said. “The sooner the better, before I change my mind. Oh look-- it’s Hammer-- perfect-- exactly what I need.”

The last few words were spoken more to himself, though Tony knew the entire team would cringe on his behalf. Ever since Justin Hammer weaseled his way out of prison, the man had made it his mission to interject himself into Tony’s life whenever possible. Often in downright creepy ways. Like flirting at a party like this and possibly ruining everything.

If Bucky came in and wasn’t convincing, Hammer would be the very first to point it out.

“Don’t want to talk to you,” Tony said plainly as Justin greeted him. “I don’t like you. We aren’t friends. Go away.”

“If you’d let me explain,” Justin pleaded overly loud. To anyone nearby this was a scene waiting to happen. Fuck.

“Not interested,” Tony insisted. “I would rather--”

“Dr. Stark?” a pleasant voice asked, cutting Tony off before he could launch into a Green Eggs and Ham’s worth of reasons why Hammer’s false apologies were going to go unheard forever.

Tony and Justin both turned at the same time, and it was a good thing Justin’s attention was fully on the interruption because Tony’s face muscles definitely twitched and his mouth dropped open at least half an inch.

Bucky Barnes stood in front of them, looking every bit the 28 years old he’d been pre-war and smoking hot. His suit fit him like Tom Ford had hand-stitched it with love, and the way he looked at Tony-- like a mix of hero worship and fuck-me-eyes-- was so incredibly spot on, Tony’s brain did a triple take. From the way Justin was eye-molesting Bucky, the get-up was believable as hell.

“Dunno if you remember me,” Bucky continued easily. “We met at Darla Bishop’s party,” he added, the words almost electric with pleasant (fake) memories. “Thought I’d let you get me that drink you owe me.”

Bucky looked at Tony with hungry eyes. Like after a cocktail, getting laid was an absolute surety.

“You’d be hard to forget,” Tony said softly.

It was soft because his brain forgot how words worked there for a second, but the effect was just right. Justin would certainly walk away with the impression that this wasn’t the first time these two had met up for a tumble.

“I missed Darla’s party,” Justin piped in. “And Tony here should probably avoid drinking too many. He’s got a reputation for trouble after a few, if you know what I mean.”

Justin leaned toward Bucky and tugged roughly at the front of Bucky’s suit.

To Bucky’s credit (and a little to Tony’s disappointment) he let Justin live.

“I don’t know, actually,” Bucky said, taking a step closer to Tony and using his elbow to brush away Justin’s hand in the process. He only had eyes for Tony as he smiled at him and added, “Tony’s never struck me as anything less than a gentleman.”

Bucky’s smile was easy and his eyes were full of mischief. Like that was an inside joke between them. Like there were a hundred other inside jokes between them waiting to be known.

“Gentleman might be a stretch,” Tony said with a small smile of his own. “But flattery will get you everywhere.”

“It ain’t flattery if it’s true,” Bucky said.

God his voice. There was a hint of a Brooklyn drawl, wrapped in heat and warmth and promise. It was like the Winter Soldier had never existed. All Tony (or anyone watching) was picking up from this encounter was Do Me vibes by the boatload.

“Tony? A gentleman?” Justin scoffed. “Pull my other leg while you’re at it.”

“I thought you were looking to be friends with me, Hammer,” Tony reminded Justin.

“Eh, wasn’t going to work out. But this--” he said, pointing between himself and Bucky. “This is much more appealing. I can feel the heat. How much for the night? Two? Three hundred dollars?”

Oh god. Hammer really was looking to get himself punched, and if it would not have blown the mission Tony would have been first in line. Honestly, how important could that microfilm be, anyway?

Thankfully, Bucky had it handled.

“Buddy,” Bucky drawled, the very picture of unimpressed. “I wouldn’t look at you twice if it won me a million dollars both times.”

“But you’ll look at this guy?” Justin asked, annoyed. “They called him the Merchant of Death! Do you know that or are you too young to remember?”

“I know,” Bucky said plainly. “And I also know he’s got four more doctorates than you, a much better sense of humor, a real nice ass and he’s doin’ his part to make the world a better place every chance he gets. Comparatively, you’re a goblin. Go away.”

Tony stood in stunned silence. That might have been the nicest defense of himself he’d ever heard and it was made a hundred times better by the way it shut Justin right the fuck down.

“Your loss,” Justin sneered, before he stormed away.

“Marry me,” Tony insisted, as he turned to Bucky. “We’ll go to Vegas right now. Just say the word.”

It was all part of the act, obviously, but Tony still enjoyed the way it caught Bucky by surprise and caused him to smile. A real, genuine smile. The few nosy people within hearing distance smiled, too.

“What would you do if I said yes?” Bucky asked.

“Call the airport. Have them fuel up my jet.”

“You’re somethin’ else, Tony Stark,” Bucky said, before biting at his bottom lip appealingly. Like he was playfully considering the offer. “M’not one of those guys who buys somethin’ before he tries it out and we didn’t have enough time to get acquainted last time we met. Think we should fix that before you propose.”

“There are rooms upstairs,” Tony suggested, dragging his brain back to the mission at hand since Bucky seemed to be doing fine keeping his eyes on the prize. “If you wanted to catch up somewhere a little more intimate.”

“Intimate is good,” Bucky agreed.

He closed the space between them, took the champagne flute out of Tony’s hand and finished what was left, letting his tongue flick over the rim to catch the last drop of alcohol. Tony’s brain flooded him with unhelpful imagery about all the things that tongue could do.

Not helpful.

They needed to be seen together a little longer. Not everyone who would notice Tony missing had caught sight of him yet in the first place. But they would. Bucky was definitely a head-turner.

“How about one more drink first?” Tony asked. “Then we head up?”

“I’m all yours,” Bucky agreed. “Lead the way.”

Tony put a hand on the small of Bucky’s back to guide him, and forced himself to ignore the growing warmth in his chest when he did. It was probably just the alcohol. He didn’t drink much anymore. Easy explanation.

“It was Nolan, right?” Tony asked conversationally, after he’d ordered them each a champagne. “Like the famous pitcher?”

That was Clint’s cover story and since Clint was on the invite list, it made sense to assume Bucky had the same plan.

“Nolan, yeah. My dad was a big fan of baseball,” Bucky confirmed. “I got a brother named Ryan and everything.”

Tony smiled. “You ever play?”

“In High School. Probably coulda played for a small college but all I ever wanted to do was go to NYU and then be a sports writer. No other dream would do.”

After the bartender handed over their drinks, Bucky angled in toward Tony, leaning against the counter to effectively cut them off from interruption. It was incredible to watch him work. There was just something about the way Bucky carried himself. Something about the light in his eyes. Cap was not wrong. Bucky Barnes was criminally good at flirting.

The only problem (and it wasn’t much of a problem) was that they’d drawn enough attention that people were hovering closer. Any talk at all would have to be in character. Easy enough, really, or it would have been if Bucky’s presence wasn’t so damn distracting. Tony’s thoughts all seemed to lag a second or two behind the rest of him.

“How’s that working out for you?” Tony asked. “That dream?”

“M’here, ain’t I?” Bucky asked. “Still looking for my big break, though. In New York, it’s all about who you know.”

“You know me.”

Bucky turned a little more and leaned in fully against Tony. He looked down at him with an expression of open invitation. “Not really. But I’d like to.”

“I can finish this fast,” Tony said, draining the last of the champagne.

“Already done with mine,” Bucky said more quietly. He tipped his head forward slightly as Tony sat his glass on the counter.

It took absolutely no thinking for Tony to lean in and kiss him.

That kiss with Clint earlier? That had been a mission kiss: convincing without a stir of feeling. This kiss? It was a kiss worthy of romantic acts of stupidity. It was a kiss that would have launched a thousand ships. Tony would have bought ESPN the very next morning and given it to Fake!Nolan for keepsies if that kiss had been real.

“Upstairs,” Tony growled.

By then, no one was going to doubt they were walking up to one of the bedrooms to fuck. If nothing else, Tony’s erection broadcast that for anyone who was looking closely enough to see. (Next time Barnes flirted on a mission, Tony was going to ditch the tight pants.)

They found the bedroom they needed, and it was incredibly surreal to walk in behind Bucky, close the door, then turn around to come face to face with the Winter Soldier. Surreal enough that Tony took a quick step backwards.

Barnes was still gorgeous. That hadn’t changed. But his expression was somewhere between resting murder face and mission report and all the warmth was gone.

“Hey there, Killer,” Tony greeted. “Fancy meeting you here.”

If there was disappointment in his voice, it wasn’t intentional. It just was. And if Tony thought he saw a flicker of hurt pass through Bucky’s eyes, that was likely all in his imagination.

“Where’s the microfilm?” Bucky asked.

“Hill said it’s hidden in a false panel in the desk,” Natasha chimed in through the comm.

For the second time in two minutes, Tony jumped. He had completely forgotten the team could hear everything through their communicators.

Bucky moved to the desk and opened the top drawer while Tony sat down on the bed and watched him work. It took Bucky less than a minute to locate the secret latch and remove the microfilm.

“What now?” Bucky asked.

“We’ve got to stay in here for a while,” Tony said. “Long enough that it’s believable we were up here enjoying ourselves.”

“So that should take what, exactly?” Clint asked through the comms. His grin was audible. “Thirty? Forty seconds?”

The oomph he made a second later was incredibly satisfying.

“Who’s in there defending my honor?” Tony asked.

“My elbow slipped,” Bruce insisted. “Not much room to work in this van.”

“That was totally on purpose,” Clint whined.

“Would I do that?” Bruce asked.

“Muting the comms so Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum here aren’t a distraction,” Natasha chimed in. “We’ll only unmute if we have something relevant to say. You do the same.”

“Good work, you two,” Steve added. “Get out safe.”

“Copy,” Bucky said.

The line went silent. As silent as the room.

“You can sit on the bed,” Tony said, to fill the quiet. “I don’t bite. Not unless you ask me nicely.”

“No one can see us,” Bucky said simply. “You don’t have to keep up the act.”

“What act?” Tony asked. He really was coming up blank. He’d been himself all evening. It was Bucky who had been winning the Oscar down there.

“Actin’ like you don’t mind me bein’ here,” Bucky said. And well, the good news was that Bucky wasn’t in automaton mode any longer. The bad news was his voice was laced with buried hurt. Where in the hell did that come from?

“I don’t mind you being here,” Tony said quickly. He paused. Considered. Spoke gently. “And-- just for the record-- I don’t mind that you took over for Clint. I’m grateful. We’ve got the microfilm, the mission went off without a hitch, and Hammer saw me walk upstairs with the best-looking guy at the party. This is a win/win/win.”

“You told the team I lurk behind potted plants.”

“Because you do lurk behind potted plants,” Tony pointed out carefully.

“I linger; I don’t lurk. I know the difference.”

“Ummm… apparently I don’t?” Tony asked. “Feel free to explain. Believe it or not, I wasn’t trying to be a dick about the… not lurking. It hadn’t occurred to me there were subtleties involved.”

God, though. Whether Tony’d meant it or not, replaying that team conversation in his head was painful. He’d talked about Bucky like he was a thing… not a person. And if Bucky’d heard, well, that sucked. It got worse as Bucky continued.

“I don’t like people lookin’ at me,” he said softly. “S’never worked out well. Not in the war and definitely not with HYDRA. Always meant I was in some kind of trouble. Pain was comin’ my way. Or something’ worse than pain.”

“That wasn’t--” Tony tried to explain.

“You act like it makes me broken,” Bucky cut him off. “That there’s somethin’ wrong with me cause I’m not ready to be out in the open and there’s not. M’not broken. I’m workin’ through a lot.”

Bucky shut his mouth and looked away. Tony had never been so relieved to be off comms. If he fucked up this conversation royally, he didn’t need the whole team listening to him crash and burn.

He watched Bucky for a few seconds. Did some mental recalibration. Channeled Rhodey circa 1987. (Tony’s college peers had not been kind.) (Except for Rhodey, who’d taught him what friendship could mean.) (And Tony could pay that forward. He could.)

“Will you look at me?” Tony asked gently. “Please?”

Bucky turned his head grudgingly.

“I’m sorry,” Tony said simply and sincerely. “That was beyond shitty of me. I don’t think you’re broken. I think you’re amazing.”

“Bullshit,” Bucky grumbled.

“Geezus, what you did down there?” Tony continued. “That was incredible. What you do every day to move forward and get on in the world... that’s incredible, too. I should have tried harder to make you feel comfortable in the tower, and from now on I will-- if you’ll let me. We can be friends. I dunno. Hang out, or something. I’ve seen you eyeing Dum-E and U. I’ll introduce you, if you want. They’re pretty cool. Way cooler than Steve.”

Bucky considered Tony’s words. “I’d like that.”

Tony nods. “I’d like that, too.”

Turned out, Bucky was awesome company. Sure, he faded into the shadows a lot and occasionally he stared at Tony with his Resting Murder Face and that was a little unnerving, and every once in a while JARVIS would report that Bucky had done something paranoid like check all the light fixtures in the tower for HYDRA listening devices. All in all, that was small potatoes compared to the fun they had together otherwise.

They shared a love for science and technology, greasy pizza and yelling at the television during bad sci-fi movies. Most nights when Tony and Bruce were in the lab, Bucky’d join them and sit quietly off to the side, taking apart a toaster or reading up on motorcycle repair.

It was a comfortable friendship, and one Tony valued a lot. Which was why, when his thoughts turned a little more toward the romantic side of friendship, he tried to squelch them immediately. Bucky had never given any indication he was interested and Tony didn’t want to push. But he never could quite shake the memory of that kiss, and the dwelling on it always left him wanting more. Sure there was a lot he could lose, but oh the things he could gain.

The very best things.

Yeah.

Cold showers were Tony’s new best friend.

It was a month or two later when a new easy-peasy mission came in that would involve Tony and a date. No one batted an eyelash when Bucky volunteered. He could even keep his previous Nolan identity since many of the people from the party before would be attending the new mission party as well.

Tony RSVP’d with Nolan as his date.

They’d just snuck off down a side corridor to get to the room they needed for their mission (under the guise of wandering off to find a less public place to grope each other) when they heard footsteps coming up behind them. Heavy footsteps. The sort you’d expect from goons with guns.

“Shit,” Tony swore.

“Security cameras show you’ve got incoming,” Steve said over the comm.

“No facial recognition available,” Natasha added. “May just be hired help.”

“Only confront if necessary,” Steve reminded them.

“That’d be your cue to start sucking face, guys,” Clint chimed in.

Bucky didn’t need to be told twice.

“You good?” he asked Tony.

“So good,” Tony said honestly.

Bucky had Tony shoved against a wall with their mouths together before another second passed.

Tony’s brain went blank. Bucky was flush against him, warm and protective. The kiss was everything Tony had imagined over and over and over in the weak moments when he’d let himself dwell on their previous kiss.

Bucky’s hand wandered up Tony’s side and grasped at his suit jacket and Tony heard himself make a plaintive, needy noise he was totally going to deny later. There was just something about the way Bucky kissed him. Something that was familiar and head spinning and perfect.

Tony wasn’t content to stay passive, and he let his hands wander over Bucky’s back and then down his biceps and there was the metal arm, and yup-- that did all kinds of things to short circuit Tony’s thoughts and what even was that kink called? Because he had it. He so had it.

Time stood still. Everything but Bucky faded into the background.

“Uh, team?” Steve asked. “The coast is clear. Has been for like five minutes.”

Tony dragged himself out of the kiss and leaned his head back against the wall. “Shit. Right. Mission.” He tried to word-make again with the addition of some verbs. “Heading that way now.”

Bucky pulled back and away, but not before placing one last kiss to Tony’s forehead.

“To be continued back at the tower?” Bucky asked, a hint of hope in his voice.

“To be continued,” Tony agreed breathlessly. “Yes. Absolutely. You are really good at that.”

“Can’t wait to take my time with you,” Bucky said. “Been wanting to try that again since the first night.”

“God, me too,” Tony said enthusiastically. “I just didn’t want to--”

“Keep it off the comms,” Steve groaned. “I’m gonna need brain bleach as it is.”

“Yes, sir, Captain, sir,” Bucky quipped. “But I make no promises once we’re back at the tower. Probably oughtta bunk with Nat for the night if you don’t want to hear us across the hall.”

Tony laughed. They all knew just how much soundproofing had gone into the tower bedrooms, which made it all the more funny.

“I hate you both,” Steve said.

“Not as much as you’ll hate us after tonight,” Tony taunted. And then because he could he leaned in for one more kiss.

“We heard that,” Clint complained, then oomphed. There was a clatter, like people all moving around in the van at once. Then laughter. “Ouch-- hey! No pinching! No fair!”

“Accident,” Natasha said. “Muting comms. You boys behave. Hail us if you need us.”

“Copy,” Bucky said.

The line went silent.

“You really want to pick back up once we’re home?” Tony asked.

He thought he knew the answer but he still needed to have Bucky confirm. Needed to know it wasn’t all some big misunderstanding that was going to end in heartache.

“Haven’t thought of much else for a long time now,” Bucky admitted. “What I said to Hammer that first night-- that wasn’t Nolan talkin’, that was me. Even back when I was hidin’ in the plants, I wanted to know you. Wanted some of your spark for myself. Never met anyone who gives off so much light,”

Tony looked at Bucky in wonder. It didn’t feel true but Tony knew with confidence Bucky wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t. He didn’t do things he didn’t want anymore.

“I don’t know what to say that to that,” Tony replied quietly.

“You don’t have to say a thing,” Bucky assured him. “We’ve got all the time in the world to figure it out. For now let’s finish this mission so we can get back to the tower and find somethin’ better to do with our time. I’m tired of waitin’. Ready to get started.”

“Then I’m all yours,” Tony agreed with a small, pleased smile. “Lead the way.”

#winteriron #tony x bucky #tony stark #bucky barnes #fluff #prompts #orbingarrow #lauratried

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minaminokyoko · 6 years

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A Love Letter to Black Panther

Disclaimer: Y'all gon' get tired of hearing me scream, "WAKANDA FOREVERRRRRRR!"

Because I mean it. Bless this movie, man. This is everything I have ever dreamt of seeing from a black superhero with an all black cast. They couldn't have done a better job. This movie is a vision, fully realized. It's going to leave a very important impact on pop culture at large and I am so here for that. I've been a black nerd since birth, and to be given a big budget film with a 90% black cast that is backed by a studio giant is so gratifying I can see why some people left the theater in tears of joy. It's not that we haven't had black films before that did well. It's not that we're not giving credit to Blade for being a (mostly) successful film franchise with a black hero at the helm. It's all the elements lining up from having Ryan Coogler direct to grabbing actually African cast members to being marketed during the Superbowl--which is the most expensive ad time you can buy on television--to seeing an amazing integration of tradition, science fiction, and modern topics that are relevant to the black community. I sound like I'm overstating things, but I truly am so happy with how this film turned out. It wasn't a cheap cash grab. It was a genuine attempt to weave a story about African and black culture based around a whole lot of ass-whuppin' and I can't wait to dive in. Follow me, Wakandans.

Naturally, spoiler alert.

Let's start with the man himself, the King of Wakanda, T'Challa. First of all, I knew I'd love him since Civil War. Most people went for Tony or Steve and came out of that movie going, "OH MY GOD BLACK PANTHER IS THE FUCKING BADDEST I CANNOT WAIT FOR HIS SOLO MOVIE DUDE." We all knew he was a total badass, but what I left this movie with was a sincere love for the mercy and compassion he showed us in this film. It's very easy in a position with that kind of power to let it corrupt you and become jaded, but the gestures he made in this film were so lovely. I love that he was outraged by his father trying to erase history with what happened to his uncle and cousin. He was genuinely angry and hurt by it all and in the end, he showed so much kindness by letting Kilmonger see the sunrise before he died that it was honestly touching. I love T'Challa because he has such a big heart. It’s an incredibly important perspective to provide, as much of the world still sees black men as angry, dangerous thugs incapable of kindness. He has flaws as well, like his anger issues and naivete, and that's what makes his journey so compelling. It's very easy to write a royalty character as above it all, but that's why Thor: Ragnarok was so well received recently: they knocked Thor off his princely pedestal and brought him down to our level. We understand what T'Challa is going through even though we aren't royalty. He has a homeland to protect and a family to look after in his father's absence, much like we have our own responsibilities trying to tug us in a thousand different ways. I love that he challenged his father and brought about a new era, extending his help to the world. T'Challa is an excellent character and Chadwick Boseman did a hell of a job with him.

As a black woman, you know what's coming next. My girls Nakia, Okoye, and Shuri. Where do I even start? First of all, let me raise my fist for some lovely dark-skinned women getting the spotlight in a major superhero film franchise. Now, don't get me wrong--I absolutely freaking LOVED Tessa Thompson in Thor: Ragnarok. She slayed. But my heart is just bursting with pride at these beautiful badass women who are given weight, agency, and attention in this film. I have absolutely nothing against light-skinned women at all, but I do acknowledge that they tend to get roles easier than dark-skinned women because society still has this idiotic aversion to them because of the establishment's idea of beauty. It was such a rush to see each woman on screen having inner conflict and deciding what side of the line they would stand on. I love Nakia's stubborn nature and her hesitance to join the fray, but the second T'Challa was gone, she switched into spy mode and she did the damn thing. She saved the people who cared about her, she saved Ross, and she stood up for her country as well as the other people out there who needed her help. You are a diamond, Nakia. Okoye is probably going to come out of this film as the runaway favorite, if you ask me. I mean, Danai Gurira is already worshiped for her role as the amazing Michonne on The Walking Dead, but seeing her here, slicing and stabbing and beating the tar out of everyone while struggling with her loyalty to the Wakandan throne just gives me all the feels. I adored her sharp tongue and her grumpy frown and her impossible awesomeness. Then there's Shuri. I can't express my delight with her. She was such an adorable, witty addition to the team. I fully admit that I fell for the low-hanging fruit: the "WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOSE!" joke was hilarious even though I know no one over the age of thirty is going to have a single clue what she was referencing. I loved her calling Ross "colonizer." Shuri was throwing shade left and right and it was glorious. Furthermore, having her be the gadget gal of the film was brilliantly done. I loved her enthusiasm and her amazing tech. I loved that she bravely fought even though she was inexperienced. She was such a great character and I look forward to seeing beautiful little girls idolizing her mind and her strength in the future.

Kilmonger is definitely one of the strongest villains in the MCU so far. Most people ding Marvel for having thin villains, and that's not an unfair assessment. In my opinion, it's Cutting Room Floor issues. When you have to tell a story in two and a half hours, sometimes there's just too much content that you're excited to fit in and you just can't get it in there, so you take out chunks related to the villain to avoid the hero having an unsatisfying character arc. It's not a great idea, because then your villain isn't three dimensional and it can diminish the overall enjoyment of the film. Kilmonger is the answer to that problem. He had a reason for what he did, and while it wasn't an excuse for his cruelty, it definitely made you think about the fact that every good villain is a hero in his own mind. Kilmonger's plan even tempted someone in T'Challa's camp because it had a serious amount of relevance not only to Africans but black people all over the world. Wanting to stomp out oppression, especially in this day and age, is a trap I think a lot of people can fall into. I love the almost Shakespearean tragedy of it all, that maybe this could have been avoided if T'Chaka stayed behind and explained to the boy where he came from and that he had no choice. It probably wouldn't have worked, but just abandoning the kid with his dead father was ice-cold, and it's more tragic that it was done out of good intentions in T'Chaka's mind. I love that T'Challa sympathized with Erik and even offered to save him in the end. That has weight. That's excellent writing. I do admit, though, that Michael B. Jordan is definitely a young actor, because he was hamming it up pretty hard in certain scenes, but overall the kid did well with the role.

The costume design and scenery were just breathtaking. Man, I love the visuals we got to see. African culture is so vibrant and interesting. I'm really delighted knowing millions of people will get some exposure to all the different aspects and traditions it has to offer.

The soundtrack is killer. From the score to the tracks, it was done truly well.

Andy Serkis as Claw (although I don't appreciate the bait and switch, I can live with it; Marvel always kills their villains that are not Loki and even he is probably going to die in Infinity War). I knew he was an oddball in Age of Ultron, but damn, was he a complete nutcase. I appreciate how completely insane he was the whole time with no real explanation as to why. The simple glee on his face when he giggles, "I made it rain!" was just flawless. He might have the market corned for wackiest Marvel villain thus far. I'm sad that we only got to enjoy two performances from Serkis, but they were still entertaining as hell.

The action sequences had me floored. This is one thing I've always adored about Marvel films. The pacing is always excellent and they know how to wow you. If you follow me at all, you'll know one of the numerous reasons I hated the Justice League movie is that there was NO imagination in ANY of the fight scenes. Black Panther offers some of the best and most creative scenes to enjoy, from hand to hand combat to flipping cars with a fucking vibranium spear. I was cringing and twitching in my seat like I was playing a VR of Tekken, for God's sake. These fight scenes were so well done (though I will ding the film for lighting issues; the jungle scene suffered badly from that problem, as did at least one other one to my chagrin) and I loved everyone's various weapons and fighting styles.

MY BOY BUCKY AT THE END CREDITS YOOOOOOOO. I am infatuated with the idea that the Wakandans analyzed him and have been slowly helping him recover from being brainwashed and abused. It made my cold, petrified heart all warm inside when he smiled and looked out over the water. I just want Bucky to be happy, okay?! Leave me alone!

Well, I've gone on long enough, haven't I? I regret nothing, honestly. This is like The Dark Knight all over again: one of those rare instances when the hype for something was so crazy that we were sure it couldn't deliver, but not only did it deliver, it kicked the hell out of all expectations. I can't wait to see where the road will lead from here. My wish and hope is that this movie does so damn well that Hollywood opens its damned eyes and listens to what we have been saying since the beginning: we want diversity and we want it well done and we want it now. Stop relying on the old ideals of a market that we outgrew decades ago. Black people are just as complex and interesting as everyone else on the planet, and it's time you woke up. We've been doing it ourselves with all kinds of various projects from comic books to novels to short films and you can either lead, follow, or get out the way, as Jidenna once said. Your move, Hollywood.

WAKANDA FOREVER.

#Black Panther #marvel #Marvel Cinematic Universe #T'Challa #representation matters #movie review #sorta #film review #Black Panther So Lit #spoiler alert #spoilers

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therealchoreanese · 7 years

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Spring Cleaning

Guys why doesn’t anyone ever talk about the domesticity of the Cave??? Like by S2 there are a bunch of people who probably sleep over lot and have their own rooms just in case, and Mal, M’gann, Gar, and Conner live there, so there’s probably an endless cycle of chores that need to be completed and ahhhhhh here are some hcs i came up w/ for living in the cave

~~~

-M’gann for sure does most of the cooking and baking and has everyone’s favorite meals memorized. She’s the only one who can get all orders exactly right and the kitchen is mostly thought of as M’gann’s, so if anyone fucks something up then they’re pretty much dead

-that doesn’t mean the rest of the team doesn’t cook, though. Gar is second best bc hey, M’gann is his sister and he picks up a lot of skills from her. Wally is pretty decent bc he wanted to learn how to cook his favorite foods (aka EVERYTHING).

-everyone else can only accomplish the Basic Stuff, like pancakes or mac n’ cheese in a box and a ham sandwich. Laga’an and Cassie are the absolute worst bc Cassie gets overexcited and when she enters the kitchen it’s usually a chorus of BANG WHOOOOSH WHOMP “OHMYZEUS SOMEONE GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!”, and Laga’an, despite being a Smug Little Bitch, doesn’t know how to work ovens and pans and is way too proud to ask for help

-Spring Cleaning sounds like a total Pain in the Ass bc of all the bedrooms, the hallways, the Grotto, the library (who even uses that???), the kitchen, showers (eeewww), pretty much EVERYWHERE including secret passageways and the vents since the team insists on crawling through them for “training”

-but it’s like the perfect team bonding time bc usually when they clean out the whole mountain they find really weird shit and get to know more about each other

-like the time Jaime found bones (no worries it’s just fried chicken) between the sofa cushions and he just looked at Gar who told him, “If I can’t have a pet then I’m going to BE a pet, okay? i had a dog phase and I’m working through birds next”

-Jaime has a sneaking suspicion that the next spring cleaning he’ll find sunflower seeds and feathers

-usually dick, babs, wally or artemis is the DJ for this kind of stuff and they like using their brooms and mops as guitars and mics. their music tastes are all sort of the same and it’s always some weird alternative pop rock thing (Jaime is the only freshman member who knows like half their songs and tries to sneak in some latino pop every now and then)

-somehow cassie gets soapy water EVERYWHERE (she blames it on bart’s and gar’s mock swordfight w/ the dusters) and the three of them have to clean it up, with bart knocking himself out at least five times slipping on the floor while trying to speed his way through the process

-tim is the most dedicated to the cause and actually gets more shit done than everyone put together, but when nobody is looking he pulls quiet, subtle pranks that just screws everyone’s process up but they NEVER figure out it’s Tim

-Mal and Karen are the ones who don’t really get anything done bc they’re too busy being lovey-dovey w/ each other, nobody really minds bc that just means Mal and Karen owe them for being let off the hook

-Kaldur is the second most helpful other than Tim thanks to his hydrokinesis. He can get water into all the hard-to-reach-places and actually makes sure that everybody gets work done (he also dumps water on people he catches slacking off but everyone lets him get away w/ it bc they love him)

-the chore everyone hates the most is laundry bc instead of each person doing their own load individually, everyone’s clothes end up being washed together to save energy and whatnot and it’s SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS

-when it’s the boys’ turn to fold + wash everything they always feel hella awkard bc of all the bras and underwear they see but they’re mostly mature about it (except for the time they found Robin underwear and Tim, being the pubescent 14 y/o he is, would not stop blushing and to this day has no idea who it belongs to)

-the girls aren’t any better tbh, they made fun of Dick for buying a set of superhero logo boxers (Flash, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, etc.) and their favorite game to play on laundry day is “Whose Clothes are these bc they’re the worst things I’ve ever seen” (it usually ends up being laga’an)

-Jaime has it the worst, most of his hoodies go missing after Laundry Day and he has to run around the Cave and figure out who stole them. majority of the time the culprits are Gar, Bart, and Cassie, but once he caught Billy wearing them and after that he just kind of...... let himself be defeated by the forces of the universe or whatever is keeping his hoodies from him

-all the guys are pretty mature about period stains I’m happy to say, but the first time Laga’an did Laundry Day with them he freaked out because “OH GREAT SQUID SUCKERS WHAT HAPPENED WHO GOT HURT” (i mean i’m assuming atlantean physiology/biology/whateveriology is different from normal humans considering that blood floats in water so if anybody bled in the sea....that would be hella terrifying and sharks would be able to smell you sooooo)

-and the boys would have to explain to Laga’an what a period is, scarab gives jaime way too many details and Gar is also epically confused bc “wait what professor carr never taught me this???”, so basically gar and laga’an just end up getting the birds and the bees talk (jaime has to tell scarab to shut up every ten seconds)

-cleaning the shower drains is probably the next worst job bc of all the gunk and dirt that washes away when the heroes shower, like Clayface’s sludge or some evil villain’s goop or something like that and the only people who can really stand it are Kaldur, Gar, and M’gann

-actually when anything gets clogged it’s always up to those three to clean it out bc they have the best powers for it, Gar doesn’t really mind gross stuff when he’s in animal form

-speaking of animals, Wolf likes to try and help clean up when everyone else does. He drags around trash bags and buries old junk but just screws everything else up most of the time, always knocking things over and he probably sheds a hella lot and gets mud everywhere

-tbh Wolf is the main reason everyone keeps the Cave so clean. If it had just been them they would’ve been all, “Oh, it’s okay, we don’t have to be that neat, just toss your jacket there and your book here and put your cup on the counter w/ the others.”

-but everyone loves wolf and they’re all concerned about how he might accidentally inhale a Coke bottle or something so they do their best to not be lazy asses and pick up after themselves

-which makes it all the more ironic when wolf brings in leaves and twigs and grass from playing outside

-anyways the Team just turns cleaning into one giant big mess and I love it a hella lot so if you can think of anything else to add feel free to send in your thoughts and hcs!

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diveronarpg · 5 years

Photo

Congratulations, LIZ! You’ve been accepted for the role of TYBALT. Admin Rosey: Liz, welcome, welcome, welcome back! Reading the application over is such a treat for the admin team as a whole. Your interpretation of Tiberius is so shameless, vibrant, and utterly unique that I couldn’t help but swoon a second time over when reading it. You give him such a vivid voice and direction -- I’m over the moon that he has come back into the fold once more. The Capulets kids are so ready to wreak havoc, I pray for the group as a whole. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Liz.

Age | 27.

Preferred Pronouns | She/her.

Activity Level | Since English is my third language, it takes not only inspiration, but a lot of effort to write, so I might not be able to pop out replies on a daily basis, but I shall always be around for plotting and developing the character. Overall, I’d say 5-6, writing-wise, and 8-9 plotting-wise.

Timezone | GMT +4.

In Character

Character | Tybalt, Tiberius look-at-me-the-wrong-way-and-I’ll-step-on-your-throat Capulet.

What drew you to this character? | It’s been a while since I played a “villain”, and it’s a challenge I love to take on. At the face value, Tybalt is a bad guy - murderous, ambitious and ruthless. To be given a chance to dig deeper and find redeeming qualities, discover his many layers and hidden depths, which explains why he is the way he is – I find it to be the best part of writing a villain.

In history books, the names of villains and heroes are written with the same ink. Scratch that, history is written by the winners. In psychology, anger is a secondary emotion. There’s always a root cause emotion hiding underneath it, in most cases, fear or hurt. But, not when it comes to Tiberius. No, his anger stems from desire. The desire to make his mark on the pages of history. It’s not an ego thing, really, it’s more about – what’s the point of living if you don’t make it count? Endless money, beautiful women and fast cards do not interest him. He only cares about power - as a means to an end. The end being engraving his name in history for days to come. And honestly, his own and his family name are one and the same. He sees himself as the most efficient and capable weapon to guarantee the Capulet glory.

He isn’t a psychopath who can’t understand human emotions and have empathy, he just considers himself above it all. There’s a weakness in compassion. Even if his heart tells him to show mercy, he will only do it if it benefits him in the long run. Tiberius is rage given a voice, but his anger doesn’t control him, he controls his anger. Sometimes, he randomly shows either unexpected mercy or completely exaggerated ruthlessness. That’s part of his long-term game, too - always remain unpredictable, so the enemy can never anticipate your next move.

To sum up, he believes “you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough”, and I’d love to bring him to this amazing journey.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character?

The King without a crown | Maybe he isn’t technically the leader, but I’d love to see him grow into a person the whole organisation gravitates towards, and listens to his command, even if his title doesn’t give him the ultimate authority by default.

Cat & Mouse | Tiberius is a violent person, but his violence is never personal, it’s always strategic. Every rule has an exception though, and there’s a person behind the enemy lines he simply enjoys making miserable. He beat the ever-living shit out of them on more than one occasion, always dropping them off in front of the hospital to make sure they make it out alive, so he can come back for more.

Friends in high places | Imagine if Tiberius had to set aside his knives, guns, and fists for once and, for once, be forced to get his way with smiles and champagne. There’s a person he needs on his side, and they’re too politically or socially powerful for Tiberius to punch into submission. But, absolutely have the attempt to try a different route blow up in his face and him resorting to good old, violent ways.

Regrets collect like old friends | Him killing someone that Rafaella, or Juliana truly care about. No, he won’t regret the act, but maybe regret being smug about it, in front of them. Tiberius trying to make amends would be a fun spectacle to watch.

Hell has no fury | One of his soldiers betraying him. For now, he’s confident his leadership methods are foolproof, and guarantee loyalty. How shall he deal with the idea that he might be wrong? Will he try to change anything? Or will he make such a vicious example out of the treacherous rat that no one else will dare to do the same? Maybe both…

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes.

In Depth

In-Character Para Sample: Again, write as much or as little as you need to get your interpretation across.

He should have learned by now that when you were in charge of a group of men that may or may not contain one or two specimens of profound idiocy, things were going to get in the way of plans. There were always things; new things, old things, the repetition of things he thought he’d already resolved - problems, you called those - that were, apparently, beyond the mental capacity of certain barely-evolved ape-like goons that he called his family. The other family, of course; not the ones he sat quietly - or not so quietly - down to Sunday dinners with, but the other one - his Capulet soldiers. Yeah, that one, the one we don’t speak of in a legally inclined environment.

In fact, the problem he was presented with when he reached their safehouse - his base of operations - was of such an absurd level of imbecility that he’d contemplated shooting the poor bastard who’d solicited his assistance. Somehow, some way, by some twist of stupidity, they thought it was a good idea to execute a Russian loyalist on a Montague territory. It had taken most every swear-word he knew in every language he spoke to express his utter disappointment, before he instructed these useless piles of crap never to snort cocaine while on task. The place reeked of blood. He hadn’t been there when his men executed the loyalist who wouldn’t give up the information Tiberius needed, but he could tell, it had been brutal.

The body had been carried out, dropped off at the side of the room. There were a couple of guys standing nearby; Tiberius could hear that the topic of the evening was “the blonde with a huge rack”. Empty bragging from one of the guys; he knew that no blonde with a huge rack had gone home with him last night. If she had, it had happened after he left, and she would hardly have been as attractive as the man in question suggested. He loved him like a brother, but the guy did not have game. He had money, at times, but not game. The Dark Lady whores never turned him down.

“I look down, and she’s got her mouth wrapped around my cock…”

He heard the words, registered them, and he grinned. Empty talk. Big talk. He’d heard it all before. After raining fury upon them for making a mistake, Tiberius had calmed down. He walked up to them. “Let me guess, and then she asked you for my number?” he even offered a joke.

The guys broke out laughing, even the guy the comment was directed at. A crude joke here, a crude joke there, it kept them on his side, and it kept him on their level. Not to mention that it kept him where he felt comfortable. The captain of Capulets, where he could be as brutal and crude as he wanted without worrying about hurting people’s precious feelings; it suit him just fine. One day, he wanted to be the general. He was going to be the general. But for now, he loved being in charge of these morons he called his soldiers.

As the conversation started again, this time revolving around another loyalist’s latest conquest, he let his eyes stray from the party and take in the sight of the dead man. He couldn’t see his face; his arm had landed over his head when he’d been dropped there, hiding it, but he could still see the consequences of all the beating he took. It was like writing across his body; several large cuts, giant bruises, a rib sticking out of his skin. He could see his body moving, his chest rising and settling weakly. “You said that he was dead.” He didn’t realize until he’d said it that he’d interrupted the conversation, just to utter a statement in an accusatory tone. Everyone was suddenly silent, staring at him.

“Yeah, but… He’s as good as; we didn’t think it’d matter.”

He felt like clearing his throat, but didn’t. He didn’t like being lied to, or being served near-truths. “It doesn’t,” he barked, passing the speaker an annoyed look, “But if he isn’t dead yet, he isn’t dead yet. You don’t have to spare my feelings.” He finished his statement with a smirk, and the others laughed slightly. Feelings, pshh. Like any of them had that. He looked at the body again, the weak but desperate way it breathed. “Isn’t Alessandro’s closed over the weekend?“

“Aww, not Alessandro’s! That’s my favorite sandwich place!”

Tiberius smirked. “You don’t have to stop eating there.“ Some of the others laughed, one or two nudged the speaker in the side, waggling their eyebrows and making eating gestures. The man looked sick to his stomach, but it passed quickly, like it should. “Don’t blame me, anyway; blame Alessandro for going out of town at the right time.” It was the easiest way to handle it, really; find the nearest closed sandwich shop or restaurant under their care, make use of their machinery and avoid eating there for a couple of months, until there was no chance of human mixing with ham anymore. It made it easier to dispose of the bodies when they were in little bits, after all. “There a car out back?” he asked when the conversation between the others started to fade, and one of the guys dangled some keys and nodded. “Alright. Let’s move him.”

“What the hell are you waiting for? You want me to perform the last rites, or something?“ They stopped stalling and picked up the body. He groaned. "Stop.” The guys looked mildly concerned. “Put him down!” They dropped him, hard. He groaned again, weakly. He grabbed the man’s head, twisted it in a sudden motion. The snap was followed by a silent exhale. It almost sounded peaceful. He got back up, nodded to the guys. They picked up the body, carried him out. Looking down, he realized that there were stains of blood on his hands. Someone handed him a rag. He cleaned most of the blood off, subsequently dropping the dirty rag on the floor. He was done here. “Chop him and bury him,” the order went directly to one of his closest, and he nodded in response, “I’ve got a party to get to.”

Extras: here’s a link to mock.

#accepted #accepted: tybalt

0 notes

walkonwalkonwithhopeinyourheart · 7 years

Text

2016/17 Premier League Post-Match Thread Season Review via /r/LiverpoolFC

2016/17 Premier League Post-Match Thread Season Review

I've had a look back on the highs and lows of our Premier League campaign by skimming through the raw emotions on display in the post-match threads. Many thanks to /u/DatGuyDench for doing most of those threads and to any other users who looked after them. I've selected three or four of the higher rated comments in each thread to give a brief summary of the sentiment after each game. Any feedback is appreciated!

1 - Arsenal 3 Liverpool 4

Klopp must have given the team the world's tastiest orange slices and Capri-Sun for halftime. /u/ErkeyfromTurkey

Klavan is a monster. /u/conchobor

If someone asked me, "What is it like to support Liverpool?" I would show them this match. Confusing setup, asinine defensive mistakes, one of the best goals you'll ever see, amazing and confusing goalkeeping, a stretch of breathtaking offensive play, memorable goal celebrations, a worrying injury, a complete defensive collapse, a match thread that disappears, final twenty minutes of ass-clenching anxiety, hamfisted timewasting, and ultimately a good enough performance to prompt a million arguments about how good we could be. /u/Pipes_of_Pan

2 - Burnley 2 Liverpool 0

Look for the positives lads. If we miss out on Europe again this season we'll have nothing to distract us from our 2017/18 title push. /u/superfish1

Serious question, why doesn't every team just park the bus against us? It's pretty much a guaranteed result. If every team parked the bus against us we'd probably get relegated. /u/HUGE_HOG

Never rated football anyway /u/Sun_Is_Hot

3 - Spurs 1 Liverpool 1

Alli is a prick /u/KloppYourHands

That Mane goal... /u/ratmftw

Thought we played well today. Klopp has said before that football takes a bit of luck, and today Tottenham had all of it. Probably should be leaving with all 3 points, but that’s football. The referee was a prick though. /u/johncosta

4 - Liverpool 4 Leicester 1

My favorite part of the game was after the first goal when during and after everyone was done celebrating with Firmino a couple of players, including Firmino himself, were congratulating Sturridge. He was the one who tracked back and stole the ball to start the move and then made a run wide to give Firmino his space. /u/ErkeyfromTurkey

When we play good, we're fucking great. /u/DatGuyDench

Mane is worth £60m /u/Reddits-Reckoning

5 - Chelsea 1 Liverpool 2

This is probably the cleanest match we've ever had so far with Chelsea. Great result - and the best part? Diego wasn't a total cunt, (except from scoring a goal of course)! /u/Capt_Awkward

Nobody talking bout Gini but boy, that man is very gradually improving game by game. /u/KayJayA7X

Did Liverpool just defend a 1 goal lead for more than 30 seconds? Oh my /u/The_Backseatsman

6 - Liverpool 5 Hull 1

We should play one man up every week. That was fun /u/uRhombus

I wonder if anyone has ever won the league with no clean sheets... /u/MackerLad93

James Milner is my hero. /u/The_Sassinator

7 - Swansea 1 Liverpool 2

We should still look to sign Hector to be James Milners understudy /u/shaunsocca

Our left back has as many goals as Zlatan /u/JWL1092

That big fuck off Lovren volley into the away end at the end is the highlight of the game and I don't care what anyone says. /u/UtterShite

8 - Liverpool 0 Manchester United 0

Fuck you Real's fax machine. /u/ratmftw

CLEAN SHEET BOYS /u/HUGE_HOG

Jose Mourinho is on a mission to kill any excitement that might come from Liverpool vs ManU. /u/iSalt

9 - Liverpool 2 West Bromwich Albion 1

By the tone of this thread you would think we fucking lost. Cheer up we are joint top of the league. /u/germibobi

CAN I GET ONE FUCKING GAME WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO CLENCH MY ARSE HOLE. /u/Reddits-Reckoning

Should be top of the table but for FUCKING SET-PIECES. Gini is cursed. Studge has resting bitch face. Can was gassed after 65 minutes. Karius wasn't bad, but wasn't convincing. Firmino is bae. That is all. Edit: Could have gone top of the table for the first time since May 2014....ouch, that hurts. /u/iiEviNii

10 - Crystal Palace 2 Liverpool 4

No idea why, but I felt weirdly comfortable throughout that game. Never doubted us for a second. Used to have a similar feeling in 13/14 /u/Reddits-Reckoning

We scored 2 goals from corners. Let that sink in. /u/wontwont

we are finally beating bogey teams /u/tweedeh

11 - Liverpool 6 Watford 1

NO CLEAN SHEET NO PROBLEM, TOP WE GO /u/TheLastofish

LIVERPOOL FIRST, ARSENAL BACK IN FOURTH, UNITED NOWHERE!!!!!! BEST FUCKING WEEKEND!!!!!!! /u/TheRedCormorant

So happy Gini finally scored. /u/DatGuyDench

12 - Southampton 0 Liverpool 0

Shit Fact: 2 International Breaks followed by 2 draws… /u/BTS_1

What a frustrating fucking game. /u/racistfetus

bus wankers /u/iG8

13 - Liverpool 2 Sunderland 0

Woodburn had a worldie /u/RideOrDieRemember

Klopp's influence as the 12th man on the pitch cannot be overstated. /u/TheLastofIsh

Fuck your double decker bus you pale cunt. The klopp train makes no stops. *No offence to pale cunts, one of which, I am. /u/Psychotic_Bear

14 - Bournemouth 4 Liverpool 3

Ah, good. I almost forgot what it was like to feel like a Liverpool fan for a while this season... /u/ DaEvil1

This whole "as long as we score more goals it's fine" thing is a lot less fun when we don't actually score more goals. /u/Deathbybunnies

Matip died for this. /u/BTS_1

15 - Liverpool 2 West Ham 2

I feel like I saw the same attack plan fail 78 times. /u/darian66

fucking sick of conceding with every shot great fucking run of easy fixtures in december huh /u/EpicRageGuy

Great game from Mané. Ran the show from the start. /u/Jambo234

16 - Middlesborough 0 Liverpool 3

What a performance by Lallana, MOTM for sure followed by Origi. Klavan is an absolute mountain at the back and Mignolet too has done well. Oh and cleansheet is back on the menu lads! /u/satanlikesyou

Klavan should always play over Lucas /u/GreatJakeUmber

SIMON "CLEAN SHEET" MIGNOLET /u/Reddits-Reckoning

17 - Everton 0 Liverpool 1

Sturridge is actually incredible, for him to get that shot off was incredibly difficult with that type of accuracy. /u/ErkeyfromTurkey

I enjoyed the part where we won but also enjoyed the part where Everton lost. /u/CurrentlyComatose

Ross Barkley can fuck right off for that challenge on Hendo. How was that not a straight red? /u/Jiro_Dreams

18 - Liverpool 4 Stoke City 1

40 POINTS WE'RE NOT GOING DOWN LADS!!!! /u/the-londoner

Lallana is England's best player. /u/Viper711

Henderson is a fucking boss /u/h4k01n

19 - Liverpool 1 Manchester City 0

Guys, we held on to a 1-0 lead for 86 minutes. This is so unheard of from our team. I'm proud. /u/malis-

"No." -- Ragnar Klavan, 2016 /u/HUGE_HOG

Lallana has still got the biggest dick in Anfield. /u/hot-cakes

20 - Sunderland 2 Liverpool 2

Bournemouth, West Ham, Sunderland. All games we were leading in, yet at the end of all 3 we've only came out with 2 out of 9 points. Devastating that. /u/JaydenSnow

Sunderland is truly the shit that just won't flush. /u/arterius23

Our midfield was kinda poor without Hendo. /u/Crypt9n

21 - Manchester United 1 Liverpool 1

Migs saved us. Played out of his mind /u/SgtPatos

brilliant defending all match ...and then an offside goal? /u/kuu-uurija

Herrera is a fucking cunt /u/edubbleg

22 - Liverpool 2 Swansea 3

Gonna go down my local park and knife a swan. /u/McGoohanno6

Fight for the top four from now on. Fucking terrible performance. /u/the_horn_of_gondor

We just lost against a side that has the worst PL defensive record of the CENTURY. Let that sink in for a moment. /u/logicspock

23 - Liverpool 1 Chelsea 1

We were unlucky not to steal the win at the end, but man we were lucky to not lose this. A point against the league leaders is very good, considering the form we're in. It's all gonna be good I think. I hope. /u/ur_mum_was_a_hamster

Henderson absolutely bossed it both ends of the pitch /u/decentpants

Kante is unbelievable /u/IL_ya_Un_jour

24 - Hull City 2 Liverpool 0

Last 10 games: DDLDWLLLDL Includes 2 Losses and a draw to teams battling relegation, a loss to a team in the Championship and a draw to a English Football League 2 team. EDIT: Our only win in the last 10 games was against the same team we drew with in the English Football League 2, with a winning goal from Lucas. /u/Cookeh_

LFC 2017 but every time we play, the worse it gets /u/mwright_13

The traveling Kop singing ynwa at the end there are the real MVPs, always amazing, it's a shame the team didn't give them much to enjoy /u/agpleezdeddy

25 - Liverpool 2 Spurs 0

Wij and Lallana played out of their minds! /u/Chitmonster

WE'VE DEFENDED A LEAD LADS! /u/okaysian

Very few players will get ever get a reception like Mane got when he came off. He's brilliant. 30m, even in this day's market was truly a steal. /u/JaydenSnow

26 - Leicester 3 Liverpool 1

(Match Thread Only)

Typical Liverpool. We play a shitty team, table-wise, then we play a lazy shitty game. It has been this way for the past few years. I don't understand how we can play the top of the table very strong, but crap the bed against lower teams. /u/Krypto_dg

I just want it to be next season already. Can you really be arsed watching this team struggle its way to a 6th place finish. /u/HUGE_HOG

Cant really blame this on a congested fixture list now can we..... /u/Ellni

27 - Liverpool 3 Arsenal 1

A double over Arsenal is a rare occurrence. /u/BTS_1

ARSENAL FAN TV AND CHILL HERE I COME. /u/tanvirh5

I think the Premier League should copy the Scottish PL and split the league in half mid way through so we'd only play the top sides for the second half of the season. /u/NamaNamaNamaBatman

28 - Liverpool 2 Burnley 1

In a season in which we've beaten Arsenal, Chelsea, Spurs, City, and Everton, Burnley is our biggest win of the season. /u/TheLittleBiki

I think this game showed better in game management from us, 2-1 up and we’re not being arrogant like we have this season we’re dropping deeper as a unit looking to use the counter attack against them. We smartly held onto the ball more and moved the ball into better areas than the panicked crosses of the first half. Klavan and Matip dropping a couple of yards also gave them more of a chance in defending attacks. /u/Thesolly180

Actually impressed how little out of place Woodburn was. /u/B1GsHoTbg

29 - Manchester City 1 Liverpool 1

That lallana miss literally hurt my soul /u/Fellbird

It's encouraging that we're not satisfied with a draw at City /u/Goulders

Shoutout to Emre, who’s had a rough couple of weeks in terms of form but really showed up and had one hell of a match today. /u/logicspock

30 - Liverpool 3 Everton 1

I wanted Trent to score so much /u/byGriim

The lads played great today but I still can't get over the Mané injury. Looked very nasty, just hope he recovers well. /u/JWL1092

Just want to send a public thanks to Lovren and Matip (especially Lovren) for pocketing Lukaku like he was spare change. The entire team was immense too. Cheers /u/Chitmonster

Lukawho? /u/xHawkins

31 - Liverpool 2 Bournemouth 2

Ruined my entire night that, don't even care if we gain one on City. Top 4 should be home and dry, but we just can't stop BOURNEMOUTH from scoring late goals. /u/JaydenSnow

Hate to slate Klavan but god damn man. /u/Chitmonster

Klopp' game management was just what I'd want to see. Take a lead? Let's grind it out and try to get the W, don't care how pretty it is. It's the players that bottled it. Squad lacking in depth/talent in certain areas. Couts picked up a knock or was gassed - went straight down the tunnel. Forced his hand into the sub/formation he had to go with from that point. No real midfield options and not going to put on Studge a goal up. /u/The_AjaX

32 - Stoke City 1 Liverpool 2

Migs MOTM no question. /u/Laesen

I'm gonna go ahead and thank our twelfth man, the traveling kop, for this one. Class! /u/ynwa94

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN DANIEL STURRIDGE WAS SUBBED ON AND SAVED OUR TOP 4 HOPES?!? /u/PenguinCowboy

33 - West Bromwich Albion 0 Liverpool 1

If only we had Lovren / Matip available week in, week out. Migs saving us again the beast. /u/h4k01n

Mignolet was fucking ace. /u/gin0clock

First time we have ever beaten a Pulis side away in the league! /u/The_Backseatsman

34 - Liverpool 1 Crystal Palace 2

Galling that Coutinho was basically penalised for staying on his feet, but ultimately all our fault. So, so sloppy. 4th is going to go right to the wire. /u/thisisashameofme

I would have preferred if Liverpool won /u/You_wot_m8_

God I fucking hate Crystal Palace /u/chefboyardee001

35 - Watford 0 Liverpool 1

Mignolet was so decisive in his actions today, great to see. Can is a beast and Lallana is mesmerizing. Hopefully Coutinho isn't out for too long. Happy to see Danny get a few minutes, so wish his shot went in :( /u/h4k01n

Did our job in the best way possible. Other top 4 rivals won't stop hearing about that goal all week. Up the fucking reds! /u/The_Backseatsman

WE TIME WASTED LIKE LITTLE CUNTS I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! /u/BTS_1

36 - Liverpool 0 Southampton 0

origi shouldn't have started. /u/halalcornflakes

Not one shot on target for Southampton. /u/OWSucks

My boy Grujic was good. Glad to see him get some game time and almost a goal /u/BossCevap

37 - West Ham 0 Liverpool 4

When was the last time when we enjoyed football? When was a last time when we watched highlights after the match? What a good game. Coutinho world class, Sturridge too - when he is fully fit. One more good match and we can enjoy summer. /u/My_dog_is_red

Sturridge hugging Klopp, smiling and being happy 😌 /u/L33TF0X

http://ift.tt/2rKkZtv /u/_cumblast_

38 - Liverpool 3 Middlesborough 0

Can we just take a moment to appreciate SIMON MIGNOLET. The guy has had a shaky past and cost us a lot of points but he stepped up massively and his confidence stabilized the entire defence often. Really solid finish to the seaso from thr team! /u/bacary_lasagna

me saying bye to the europa league: http://ift.tt/2t3vGLv /u/ChickenNuggutz

MOTM was the new kit cos it's sexy as fuck /u/ShadowRock9

Sure the win was swell, but what I'm most excited about is that, despite Lucas and Moreno playing, we finished the game with 0 cards, meaning… WE WON THE F***ING FAIR PLAY TROPHY /u/Rasta_Jack

Edit 1: Formatting

Edit 2: Cheers for the gold anon! Would've liked to have put it towards the new CB fund but I'll take it!!

Submitted June 23, 2017 at 03:51PM by ParanoidArachnoid via reddit http://ift.tt/2rZ2nKh

#IFTTT #reddit #liverpoolfc #liverpool fc #lfc #ynwa

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