#finally got around to listening to love wins all and it destroyed me

[yukisomas]

it’s been too long since i listened to iu 😭

#finally got around to listening to love wins all and it destroyed me #her voice could heal all the bad things in the world #my queen of ballads #iu #stfu josie

[payasita]

Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.

#personal #anyway thanks for the kind words anon #i am going to go lie down #ADHD #long post

[killianthebee]

I love the idea of a DC/Marvel crossover where Bruce Wayne adopts a young Tony Stark.

I like to think he would be the second youngest, Damian being the youngest. The Wayne family had only met him briefly at galas and they're only made aware of Tony again when there is an article about the death of his parents in a tragic car accident. Something tugs at Bruce's heart strings and he ends up adopting Tony. Luckily before Obadiah could get to him.

Tony would be around 10-12. But he is still amazingly smart. Howard Stark was already talking about signing him up for college. Though, Maria Stark interfered before it could actually happen.

Imagine Jarvis comes to live with them at Wayne Manor and becomes a butler alongside Alfred. They would probably be good friends. They both just want to care and serve their wards. Ana comes too and everyone loves her food, it's second best to Alfred's...maybe even better.

Stark Industries go to Obadiah Stane. Tony keeps an eye on it...until he gets kidnapped. Yep, Obadiah still felt the need to do that. He can't mold Tony to his standards now that he's with the Wayne's (and the company will go to Tony when he's of age) so the next best thing is to have him eliminated. But that fails and Tony basically has the same kidnapping as the movie with arc reactor and all.

The Wayne's are so relieved when Tony makes it home. Bruce freaks out when he discovers the arc reactor. I think they would probably be much faster at finding a solution to the palladium problem.

Tony knows he need to stop the weapons manufacturing but Stane won't listen to him. He and the Bats figure out that Stane was the one behind the kidnapping.

I think Tony would definitely try to build a suit and stop Stane himself but the Bats stop him and then go handle Stane themselves.

The Bats then work to collect and destroy all the weapons that got out.

The company is put into the hands of Pepper Potts.

As for the relationships...

Bruce and Tony have an okay relationship, probably better than the other kids. Tony thinks Bruce mostly pities him and that's why he was adopted. He also resents Bruce for not letting him be a vigilante. He just wants to be like the rest of the family! But Bruce FINALLY realized that maybe he should stop making child soldiers. Bruce loves that Tony can challenge him so much with his intellect. Bruce doesn't even fathom the idea of sending Tony to college, which Tony greatly appreciates.

Alfred and Tony. Tony loves Alfred, honestly. He thinks he's the third best person in the world (Jarvis and Ana are before him). They have routine chess matches and Tony always wins. Alfred teaches him how to do laundry and cook because there's no one way anyone taught him that stuff.

Tony thinks Dick is cool but a bit dorky. Dick thinks Tony is like a little miniature Tim but a lot smarter. Dick teaches him flips that Tony actually kinda sucks at it but it's fun and great bonding for them.

Tony and Jason. Tony is a little iffy about Jason. He does think he's super cool, he's all tough and stuff. But...he's a little weird about the killing. He's a little wary around him as a result. Jason eventually explains to him the ins and outs of his whole operation and how he only kills bad people. Tony comes around a little after that and even offers advice for his organization.

Tim kinda resents Tony because he's like wtf that's literally me. But then he realized how cool and sweet Tony is. He also finds out Tony is even smarter than he is. Tony loves that Tim can almost match his intellect, he doesn't get that a lot and it can be pretty boring.

Duke likes Tony solely cause he helps Duke with his homework. Tony also has pretty good pranks and so far they haven't gotten caught.

Tony thinks Cass is probably the most epic person ever. He likes to try and sneak up on her but he hasn't succeeded yet. Doesn't stop him from trying and inventing new tech.

Tony does not like Damian and Damian does not like Tony. Tony thinks Damian is a brat and Damian thinks Tony is stealing all the attention. In reality, Tony just lost his parents and is going through a hard time and needs love. Damian hasn't grown up with a lot of love and now that he had it and he feels it was stripped away, he becomes defensive and angry. They get along...eventually.

Barbara thinks Tony is a brat. Tony likes to hack into her computer and he is GOOD. Though, she comes to like it as she realizes it is kind of helping her get better and it can be fun.

Steph likes Tony's spitefulness and sometimes they team up to tease the others. Tony thinks Steph is pretty cool.

I love this idea so much but I don't have the time to write it 😞😞

#dc #marvel #tony stark #batfam #batman #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #edwin jarvis #ana jarvis #richard grayson #dick grayson #tim drake #jason todd #cassandra cain #damian wayne #duke thomas #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #i feel like im forgetting someone

[unrequitedloveletter]

Tedious- N.L x fem! heartrender! reader

Okay! This is a fic that was requested by @dascarypicklerawr​ and it’s coming out a lot later than I anticipated, but hey! Writing this took a bit of trial and error because I couldn’t get the beginning right, but now it’s both perfect and the second fic going up today, so I’m taking the win. 

Fic type- there are elements of angst in the first half but it’s otherwise very fluffy

Warnings- mentions of wounds/death

Yours and Nikolais love story had begun in a flourish in the last six months before he and Dominik joined the infantry department of the first army. You met as you drank tea from one of the samovars in between classes, and all it took was one of Nikolais smiles to have you hooked. 

He left for the infantry at sixteen, Dominik at his side, and your relationship ended when you chose to stay at the Little Palace. Had you thought it would’ve made a difference, you would’ve gone with him, but you knew that it wouldn’t, so you stayed. You finished your training as a Heartrender and joined the ranks of the military at eighteen, joined the side of the war that was fighting against the Darkling when you were twenty-one. 

Though you never would’ve said it, seeing Nikolai in what you had hoped to be the final battle against the Darkling, in what you had hoped to be the day that Alina finally destroyed the Fold, was the last thing you had ever expected. 

But still, to your amazement, there he was. Blond hair, warm eyes, forever charming smile. He was fighting at the center of it all, and you had been scanning the area, listening for heartbeats of wounded and dying Grisha so that you could elevate their heartrates, blood pressures, airflow. 

Your small science was designed to be a killer, but due to circumstance, you’d turned inward and had been using it to at least keep more of the Grisha in your regiment from dying. 

You approached Nikolai without thinking, lightning striking in the soles of your feet, and he grinned once he turned and saw you. Your back was to his, hands extended as you let all of the heartbeats around you go and sharpened your senses instead, trying to sense the Darklings monstrosities before they showed themselves to you. 

“Still got my six after all these years then, love?” 

You managed to find it in yourself to laugh. “You’ve got such a lovely smile, my beloathed. How could I not?” 

Nikolai laughed. Your heart had missed that laugh. 

A nichevo’ya approached, and your heart set off into racing speed. 

I can do this, you thought. I will fight, and I will win, and I will never have to fear the Darkling again. 

-

What felt like an eternity later, you were standing next to Nikolai in the place that used to be the Fold. It was odd to the place that was once entrenched in darkness entrenched in light, but you basked in it, face turned up to the warmth and the glow of the sun. 

Nikolai had never quite been anything but fond of spur of the moment decisions, and he’d missed you like hell, so naturally, the first words to come out of his mouth when he saw you with your face turned to the light, a beautiful open mouthed smile gracing your lips, were a marriage proposal.

“Y/N?” He asked. “Let’s get married.” 

You turned to look at him, still grinning, and a laugh bubbled up from your throat. “You’re an impulsive idiot, Nikolai.” 

“Is that a yes?” Nikolai asked. “Because, if it’s a no, I cannot focus on anything but your beauty and you’ll have to make it clearer.”

“It is a yes,” you took his hand. “It’s absolutely a yes. Do try not to get sick of me, though. I find that being in my company is sometimes quite tedious.”

“Being in meetings with my royal council will be tedious,” Nikolai said. “But not being in your company. Never will it ever be tedious to be with you.” 

You grinned, pressed a kiss to his cheek, and rested your head against his shoulder. He rested his cheek against the top of your head and let his heart lighten to almost weightlessness, convinced that he would never be as happy as he was in that moment. 

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netfllix

[bjurnberg]

So I wanna share the first bit of this fic with y’all cuz I love writing it - it makes me laugh so hard. I’m just struggling to write a middle section and need motivation, so if you’ve got questions or praise lay it on me.

Summary: Hal Jordan starts making bets that he can win a kiss from Bruce Wayne at the next Heroes Gala. Batman takes that bet.

Win a Kiss, Lose Your Pride

“Wayne Enterprises holds a Heroes Gala every year celebrating the Justice League. This doubles as a charity event to raise money for destroyed property and small local business. The five of us will be in charge of making sure all other League members that choose to attend will behave according to the standards -”

“Who do you think is gonna get first kiss of the night?” Green Lantern interrupted.

“First kiss?” Superman asked with a frown, lowering his notes.

“Yeah! It’s always mentioned in the tabloids after a Wayne Event - someone tries to corner Bruce Wayne and get his first kiss of the evening. Not that he’s hard to corner, the guy seems happy enough dishing it out, ya know?”

Diana laughed and Flash was trying not to wheeze.

“We should get back on topic,” Superman said with a nervous cough, shuffling the guest list in front of him.

“Oh come on! This is boring! We’ve been to these parties before, we know what to expect, why not have a little gossip? Maybe take bets! Let’s have some fun!” He turned to Flash. “Who do you think is gonna drag Old Brucie into a dark corner first?”

Flash gave a nervous chuckle, his eyes flicking to Batman before focusing squarely on the table, covering his mouth.

The Green Lantern scoffed. “Bats?! No way, he never even goes to these things, let alone knows how to have fun.”

Batman continued to read through the guest list and itinerary, making no indication he was listening.

“I didn’t say anything,” Flash mumbled.

Diana leaned forward, smiling wickedly, “And what kind of bets are you interested in? It’s not very fun if we’re just guessing which millionaire’s daughter will assault him trying to get engaged. Let’s make this a competition.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Hal slammed his palm on the table. “See guys? Diana knows how to have fun! What’re the rules?”

“Please stop,” Superman rubbed at his temples.

“I propose a game of flirtations,” Wonder Woman sat back in her chair, folding her arms. Her smile only grew as Flash and Superman groaned. “We cannot be the one to initiate a kiss - he must choose. But it doesn’t matter who else steals a kiss, just which of us he chooses first.”

“Oh-ho-ho, I am ALL in. Who else is playing?” Hal looked around the table. “Supes?”

“Oh no! Count me out!”

“Ah come on! You’re such a boyscout!”

“I’m not interested.”

“That’s not what you told me last month. You think he’s cute.”

Superman buried his face in his hands. That didn’t stop them all seeing the crimson blush reach his hairline. “Just because I can admit he’s handsome does not mean I want to kiss him.”

“Publicly,” Diana tacked on.

“Rao take me,” he whispered, and stood. “I’m going to get some water. I expect to return to a proper meeting where we can focus on the task at hand.”

“I’ll join you,” Flash squeaked, jumping up and slipping out the door.

“Cowards!” Hal yelled after them. Then focused on Batman, who hadn’t moved. “Why not come to the party for once, Bats? I know you’re a vampire and all, but it’s after dark and you’ve got an invitation. Live a little in your afterlife!”

“I don’t enjoy galas.”

“Maybe you would if you got to kiss a cutie like Brucie.” Green Lantern leaned forward, forearms on the table. “Maybe a little competition will get that blood flowing again.”

“If I come to the gala will you stop talking?” he asked in his usual deadpan voice.

“Yes.”

That finally got Batman to look up from his reading. Hal grinned in triumph.

“If you win the bet - that’ll be your prize. I won’t talk to you for a whole month.”

Batman tilted his head, birdlike. It gave the impression of narrowed eyes and a raised eyebrow, though neither could be seen under the cowl.

“Make it three.”

“One month for showing up. Three if you get the kiss.”

“Deal.”

Hal Jordan whooped, throwing his fists in the air. “This is gonna be the best party ever! Diana! What do you want if you win?”

“Oh, the kiss will be prize enough. Bruce Wayne is an excellent kisser.”

“Reeeallly... when have you smooched him before?”

Wonder Woman looked smug, “Maybe I’ll tell you after the gala. And what of your prize, Green Lantern?” she asked. “What do you wish for?”

“How about... since you’re not asking anything from me, I’ll get something from Bats.”

“You just might,” Diana whispered.

Hal turned to Batman, folding his arms and looking very pleased with himself.

“If I win I wanna know your identity.”

Batman went still.

“Come on! Everyone else at this table knows who you are!”

“That’s because it was vital in the moment. Civilian IDs were the only way to escape the Thanagarian invasion.”

“Which I wasn’t around for. But now I’m the only one who doesn’t -”

“Most of the Justice League doesn’t know who I am and I intend to keep it that way.”

“I’m not talkin’ ‘bout unmasking in front of the whole Watchtower, just me!”

“Pick something else.”

“No.”

“Batman,” Wonder Woman interposed. Both men looked at her. “Are you saying you can’t confidently deduce who Bruce Wayne will choose to kiss that night?”

The room almost seemed to darken under Batman’s grimace.

“Fine.”

Hal guffawed, falling back in his chair. “Great!! See you Saturday!!”

#bjurnberg #my writing #my fic #BruHal #batlantern #batman #green lantern #romcom fic

[variousficss]

Bucky Barnes - set of 2 [part 8]

summary: distant Buck.

AN: let me know if you wanna be tagged! 😊

next >>

There are some habits we acquire throughout life, and it's almost impossible to let them go. We all have routines, whether organized or not, prioritized or not; it's impossible for every day to be absolutely different from the previous one. Living with Bucky, you learned to love the predictability that being close to the soldier brought. He always woke up early, exercised for an hour, and had a protein bar. Then, he would check the motorcycle, read a chapter from the book you lent him, and prepare a more substantial breakfast. But with both of you often spending the night at each other's places, Bucky also had to adapt to your routine. You didn't exercise every day, let alone have a decent breakfast, but Bucky didn't feel bothered by that. When he came to your place, he chose to go for a run instead of exercising indoors to avoid waking you up too early. Then, he would prepare breakfast for both of you and wouldn't read anything. He had this habit that you had no idea about, which was sitting on the living room couch in silence to listen to your heartbeat. Even a room away, he could hear how your heart beat fast, and your breathing was calm. It was soothing. Assuring. You were alive.

But being a super soldier and living in a world where villains also followed their routine of messing with the world, you and Bucky couldn't always keep up. So, over time, you started adapting to his routines. To the point of nullifying yourself. Fitting into Bucky's routine and leaving yours in the background was easier and the best way to keep him close. The best way for you to continue seeing him.

You continue the routine of training together for exactly 1 hour every week, but Bucky continues to get busier and busier. More necessary for others. Needing to donate more and more of himself to the missions, and coming back more and more injured from each one of them. Contrary to his routine, Bucky started coming to your house less and less when he returned injured.

"You gonna head to YN's place after this?" Sam asked, as the two got on the jet, heading home after taking a beating from some super soldiers. At least they managed to win.

Bucky let out a heavy sigh. "Nah, not tonight."

Sam raised an eyebrow, knowing there was more beneath the surface. "Everything okay between you two?"

Bucky hummed in response, clearly not wanting to talk about it. The words of the super soldiers he encountered clawed at the edges of his consciousness.

"You think they'd want you now, with all those bodies you've got on your record?" one of the adversaries smirked at him. "You're just a really good weapon. The most manipulable of all. It's only a matter of time before you destroy everything good around you. That's just what you know. You're just a soldier ready to comply."

Without knowing any of this, you waited for him at your house, but Bucky didn't show up. Didn't even call. He didn't even send a message. He didn't even respond to your calls or messages. The unspoken distance between the two of you now had a new layer: the echoes of the super soldiers' words echoing in Bucky's mind, pushing him further into the isolation he believed you deserved. The soldiers were right. He was going to destroy everything good he had sooner or later. You couldn't be near when he finally sank.

the same day:

the day after

the day after

2 days later

7 days later

8 days later

9 days later

Tag list: @almosttoopizza @creat0r-cat @aesthetic0cherryblossom  @cjand10 @sapphirebarnes @nouk1998 @unaxv

#bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes #bucky fic recs #bucky fic #fluff bucky #bucky x female reader #bucky angst #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky x you

[team7-headquarter]

Really the reason Team Minato and Team Kakashi couldn't be all alive at the same time it's because the sheer intensity of their love and loyalty would overwhelm Konoha and they'd all explode.

Kakashi is probably the more sane. The rest are all in a competition of who can sacrifice themselves in the most tragic way and Kakashi is like why you keep doing this to me why you want to die so bad why can you wait a fucking minute and think of a solution where everyone walks away intact.

Naruto is second on this rank through plot armor and because he does believe everyone can make it out alive and still succeed in their missions. So he sacrifices himself but that's 'cause he's not dying, you get me? Yet he's first in love and loyalty. No explanation needed, go read the manga.

In third there's Minato, who sacrificed himself once but it was dramatic enough to balance it out. Being a martyr comes with being hokage AND the father of the protagonist, but yeah he died, third place. Plus his love for the village and for his family will never not be famous TwT

There's Rin??? It was not her fault or first choice but she is the token girl of being a martyr in this manga :( damn Kishimoto took her down like holy mary and I know she'd have sacrifice herself in other contexts, so yeah :(( really, it's so hard being a girl and a secondary character. She loved so much her team and she was so gentle and :(((((((

Listen, Sakura's count on tries of self-sacrificing is absurd and she knew more than once that she wasn't making it out alive. like, who fucked up this girl so bad she decided to use herself as a human shield? She would take her friends burden and explode herself with it if she knew that'd set them free— that's why she needed plot armor, 'cause Team 7 would not outlive her death. They'd snap.

Finally, the award to the most martyrs to ever martyr from these teams go toooooo:

The Uchihas.

Put on this Earth to suffer, powered by trauma. The plot chew and spit them multiple times 'til you couldn't recognize them— truly Uchiha style. There are worst cases? Yes. Itachi self-sacrificing sense would rival Jesus Christ and he kinda got it from Shisui, so... And well, Mikoto and Fugaku just sat there waiting for Itachi to kill them like what the fuck man. Love CAN be a curse.

Still, Obito is the original. He wins this miserable game with Sasuke a close second.

Obito died once gave THE speech that haunted the whole manga gave his eye to his bestie came back saw the girl he loved get killed by his bestie and went to sacrifice himself AGAIN becoming Madara's puppet. Only to get his sanity back in the middle of the war and sacrifice himself this time for good. His love and lost almost destroyed the shinobi world for good.

Sasuke has what is for me the most agonizing scream in the anime. That kid didn't deserve to be so badly manipulated and thrown around and be manipulated again and then be told it was all in his mind and he was crazy because he wanted to be crazy. I don't want to talk much because I fear Boruto with my life (can't trust it) but he is alive and and his marriage with Sakura only makes it worst 'cause they'd sacrifice themselves together for the village and then Naruto would try to do the same shit. Anyway, Sasuke's love is huge and he's the second protagonist of Naruto for a reason

#Team Minato #Team kakashi #Team 7 #naruto uzumaki #Kakashi hatake #Rin Nohara #sakura haruno #Obito uchiha #Sasuke uchiha #naruto

[yakumtsaki]

Well things were nice and calm for one entire update, but don’t worry, we’re back to normal AS AIDEN CHEATS ON SANDY WITH JENNICOR TRICOU. AIDEN WHY. YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH 3 BOLTS

-C̴A̵N̵'̸T R̷E̷S̴I̸S̵T T̴H̸E V̵A̶M̶P G̴I̸L̸F🧟

OH MY GOD

-H̶O̵W C̸O̶U̷L̶D Y̸O̵U̵ ̶A̵I̸D̴E̵N, I̴ G̷AV̴E U̸P M̷Y L̴I̸F̴E A̶S A̷ C̷R̶Y̶P̴T S̸E̷R̵V̶A̴N̵T F̸O̴R̶ T̶H̷I̶S🧟‍♀️

Bro I can’t. I try to unlag our lot by marrying Sugar off, he cheats on his wife. I try to unlag our lot by marrying Sandy off, she gets cheated on. Not to be self-centered but WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME

-Welcome back Sandy, the bathrooms need cleaning! -G̷O̷O̵D̴ T̵O̴ ̴B̸E̴ B̴A̶C̴K🧟‍♀️

UGH

-Don’t worry bitch, I’m about to help with the lag once I take this final dump!

-Nice! About time I fuck outta here, see you stupid assholes never! 

DOBRONEGA NO

-Tell Cyn that I love her and my children that I hate them! 

-NOOOOO DOBRIE NOOOO HOW AM I GONNA LIVE WITHOUT YOU💗

Poor Cyn was devastated, she cried for days, her and Dobronega really had a Victoria/Victor pet soulmate thing going💔 RIP Dobronega, I’ll miss you so much💔

Because I wasn’t upset enough, the goddamn cleanbot had the worst meltdown yet, look at this shit:

FML. Sophito you have maxed mechanical, feel like taking a crack at fixing this??

-No thanks, I’d much rather play the piano and risk actual death by flies! 

Thank God we have iVan around here because you people are USELESS.

Case in point. The military uniform is killing me.

-𝙿𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚃𝙸𝙲. 𝙸𝙵 𝙲𝚈𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙷𝙰𝙳 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙲𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙼𝙴 𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙶𝙴𝙽𝚈 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝚂𝚄𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚁 𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙲 𝙱𝙻𝙰𝙳𝙳𝙴𝚁𝚂.

Bartholomew’s amazing 1 nice point is starting to reveal itself, this kid is a NIGHTMARE.

-Come on, Barth, concentrate! You’re four, you need to learn how to speak! -GOO GOO >:(

Bartholomew straight up exhausted Sophie so I had to send in reinforcements. 

-Alright, listen here, Bratolomew, I have enough disappointing family members, so learn to talk or Mr. Teddy loses his head.  -FINE, YOU WIN, GEEZER

Felina returns from her first day of school, runs to hug Sophito (I’ll never get used to what good parents him and Liz are)-

-and brings with her Spice! Sugar has actually been a really good dad other than you know, destroying his marriage for no reason, while Spice was a toddler I always invited Sug over to hang out with his bebe so they have a good relationship. Now that Spice is a kid we can invite him over to our lot!

Awwwww❤️ God Sugar I’m still SO PISSED AT YOU FOR THE CLAIRE DIVORCE

Jojo is on his last legs (screaming crying throwing up) so I fulfil his wish to re-become a werewolf-

-BUT APPARENTLY HE HAD A SIMULTANEOUS FEAR OF BECOMING ONE TOO. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND

-NO.

Here we go again, YOU’RE CURED. LAST TIME JOJO, I MEAN IT

-It’s ok, I’ve made up my mind..

-..a face this stunning should not be covered in fur!

No comment!

-OH MY GOD MY NEAT POINTS CAN’T TAKE THIS MESS -MINE NEITHER I’M LOSING MY MIND -IF ONLY iVAN OR SANDY WERE HERE TO CLEAN -EXACTLY, WE’RE TOO GOOD FOR IT

Un.real.

OH HELL YA, GET IT. Once we hit half a mil we’re moving to an even bigger, laggier mansion!

-Omg you guys, isn’t so funny how all 3 of you have worked most of your lives and I got a job as an elder and make more than you? Huhu!🌸

-Seriously, it’s totally crazy how my earnings have eclipsed yours! I mean look at Sophie, worked and worked to top the law career and for what?💗 -So I can represent myself in your murder trial. -Huhu looks like you guys are having your toast with a side of envy! Don’t even get me started on Shajar, mayor by 25 because she was running unopposed! Boy my life is FINALLY perfect!🌸

-HI WHAT THE HECK💗 -That’s right Cyneswith, I’m here to replace Aiden and Jack Do as your obligatory psycho spurned lover! I’m gonna barge in here daily to catch you cheating on me with your husband! 

OH MY GOD GINGER SHEA JOHNSTON GTFO WHEN WILL THIS STOP

Awww❤️

Awwwwww❤️

Aww- SUGAR WHY IS THE GIRL YOU CHEATED ON JESSICA WITH HERE

-What do you think, Barth, time for ole’ uncle Sugar to get married again?

YA IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT

I don’t know if you guys realize how long I’ve been trying to get Sandy on top of the culinary career, it’s RIDIC. This is the hardest time I’ve had with a career since Wyatt, Sandy WTF

-P̸E̸O̵P̸LE D̸I̵S̷C̴R̶IM̵I̶N̷A̵T̴E A̴G̷A̴I̴N̵S̸T Z̸O̷M̷B̷I̸E C̷O̷O̴K̸S̴! S̷O̷M̵E̷O̸N̷E F̵I̵N̷DS Y̵O̷U̸R E̷Y̵E I̴N T̷H̸E̴I̵R S̴O̷U̵P̸ O̵N̷C̷E-🧟‍♀️

OK MOVING ON

-Alright Felina, seeing as science is your one true hobby, your father is useless, and I have one day left on this wretched planet, it’s time for me to teach you the secrets of repairing iVan! -But I don’t wanna learn to repair that stupid robot, huhu!🌸 -ALRIGHT THE HUHUING STOPS NOW. Write this down: “To repair iVan you turn off his killmode switch-” which of course I’ve always left on.. -Ok.. -“and reassure him you love him and he’s a good boy, but if he doesn’t calm down you’re turning him into car parts”.

Oh wow, super scientific! 

It’s Bartholomew’s birthday from which I have no pics because iVan almost killed us again..

-𝙸 𝙲𝙰𝙽'𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝚅𝙴 𝙼𝚈 𝙻𝙴𝙶 𝙸𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙾𝙵 𝙰 𝚂𝙲𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙻 𝙱𝚄𝚂. -Believe it, buddy!

..and here he is with his glorious Ti-Ning nose! Boy did that toddlerhood cuteness of yours disappear. 

-We get the face we deserve!

At least you’re self-aware!

Felina brought Cyan, June and Lakshmi’s bb with her from school! It’s so nice that all our lil cousins we’ll go to college with are showing up❤️

-Swan soooooooooong......... So loooooooong, shitty family, so looooooooooong..............🎵

It’s time😭😭😭

-Hello, old friend. Have you come for me? -I HAVE BEEN WALKING BY YOUR SIDE FOR A LONG TIME💀 -That I know. -ARE YOU PREPARED💀 -You have no idea.

SHAJAR DO YOU FUCKING MIND

OH MY GOD SHAJAR SERIOUSLY GET OUT OF THE FRAME

-It’s alright, it’s only appropriate that Shajar disappoint me one last time. So long, family! And truly, it’s been SO LONG. I’m going to find Wyatt now, but don’t worry, my spirit will always be with you, judging, lecturing, and making you soil yourselves.  

-WAAAAAAAAH -WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH -HEY-YO SHAJ! -HEY-YO! 

OH MY. FRANCES

-DADDY NO!!!!

OH WOW LOOK WHO WOKE UP. Shajar seriously ffs even for you this was unreal. Jojo left money to absolutely everyone, even Don! Charitable king💔

Frankly, I don’t even know what to say about Jojo, like I try to keep things lighthearted but I teared up when he died. I loved Jojo since he aged up into the snootiest Mr. Darcy toddler of all time, he was one of my favorite sims ever, he had so much personality, he was so much fun to play, and despite being pure evil he really did love his family and always tried to shame them into not being losers. Most of all, he loved Wyatt, with whom he’s now reunited❤️ RIP Jojo, I’ll miss you terribly-

-but clearly your spirit will live on. ABSOLUTELY NOT, SOPHITO

#long post #gen 4 #ts2

[aerodaltonimperial]

(Is this inspired by that video of Max Caster absolutely destroying Jack on the mic? Yes. Do I love Max and think he is a sweetheart? Yes. Is it really just for me? Also yes lol. AM I HAVING A FUCKING DAY? Listen.)

It’s been a long time since anyone has challenged Max to a one-on-one; long enough, honestly, that he’s only realizing now, in the ring, that he’s perhaps more reliant on Anthony than he should be. The thing is, Jungle B—sorry, Jack Perry—has always been quick, resourceful, and technically competent in the ring, and now that he’s embraced being a gigantic asshole, he’s also fucking mean. This, see, Max failed to factor into the equation. This, he overlooked.

But it’s fine. Max can still come out on top here, with Anthony prowling around ringside, because Jack doesn’t have anybody with him, and Max is still the greatest wrestler alive. Jack gets a few good shots in and a solid suplex that rattles its way up Max’s spine, but he can win this. He can put this new, douchey version of Jack Perry on the mats and hold him there until he submits.

Jack flips and kicks, a connection that stumbles Max backwards, and then, when Max’s arms hit the ropes and he bounces, steadying himself, Jack grabs for Max’s chin to wrench his face up. “Got a lot less shit to talk now, huh?”

So that’s what this is about: Jack’s still smarting from getting destroyed. Max isn’t going to apologize for spitting truth into the mic. Everything he’d said is just as true now as it was then, no matter how many leather jackets and aviators Jack Perry wants to don. Max hurls his elbow out and catches Jack in the gut, freeing him from the man’s grasp.

“I stand by it,” he growls, grabbing Jack’s waist. The dude is still tiny, all wiry muscle and not much else—makes him delightedly easy to throw. He slams Jack down onto the mat and looms over him, grinning. “Gonna s-s-stutter your way through another asshole promo? Maybe we could put cue cards on Hook; you spent enough time staring at him, didn’t you?”

He gets a wordless exclamation of fury for that, and hands that scrabble up for purchase along Max’s shoulders. One of Jack’s nails scrapes over Max’s eyelid, and fuck, that stings. He takes a shaky step back as his eye prickles, involuntary. He’s gonna enjoy beating the living daylight out of this new L.A. bitch persona, that’s for sure. But he’s a second too slow, and Jack is, infuriatingly, a moment too quick.

Jack slams into Max from behind, enough force to make him a little loopy, and then gets on top of him. The fucking snare trap—he’s still using it, and Max still hates it. He claws at Jack’s forearm that’s looped around his neck.

“You think you’re so much better than everyone else,” Jack seethes against Max’s ear.

“Definitely better than you,” Max chokes out. “At least I never betrayed my best friend.”

Jack hisses when Max gets a solid chunk of Jack’s skin with his fingernails. “Big talk from someone locked in a nonsense feud with the Ass Boys. Weren’t they your friends at one point?”

“You’ve got no one,” and Max doesn’t feel bad for it, not even when Jack’s muscles tense up in response, because he’s pressed his thumb down into a bruise and twisted just to burst additional blood vessels. Finally, he gets a solid position against the mat and kicks out of the trap, tossing Jack to the side as he gasps for air. When he stares blearily out through the ropes, he can see the outline of Anthony arguing with Nick Wayne. Max is dizzy.

Nick Wayne?

“You know nothing,” Jack says, all fight, as he pushes up and swings a leg out. Max is still trying in vain to fill his lungs when the kick smacks into him. And damn, it always burns like hell when he ends up sliding across the mats like this, the sting of the material against his skin. He catches the rope with one hand to avoid slipping all the way out and smacking his head on the way down. He needs a little push, something to ignite the self-preservation in his blood, but Anthony is…Anthony is still locked in some kind of confrontation with that kid, and now the ref is involved.

Jack is gesturing at the ref, whose attention is split between him and the two ringside, and Max pulls himself up with the bottom rope while wheezing, a ragged inhale.

Why are they arguing with the ref? Without Daddy Ass, there’s no one else. They’re on the other side, by the floor seats, and Max is staring at the ramp as he struggles to his feet. Nick Wayne? Max has never dissed that kid; there’s no reason for him to be here.

When did the smoke on the ramp start up?

Max’s thoughts crystallize: Nick is the canary in the coal mine.

“Knock knock,” comes the voice to his right. Shit. Shit, Anthony isn’t paying attention, the ref isn’t paying attention. Max had thought Jack was running solo as a result of how lacking his personality really is, and it’s never been more of a kick in his ass to be wrong.

“Half dead crowd, huh?” Max whips his head to the side, and Darby’s grin is sharp as the thumbtacks he likes to wear on his stupid, oversized jacket. “Put this on a cue card, bitch.”

And Max’s last thought before the edge of the skateboard hits his temple is a wild and panicked why do I never see the goth ones coming?

#Tag so you don't lose this shit #I'm sorry Max I really do love you #Thanks for being so nice when we met you

[aritamargarita]

GOLDEN || 007

me after lying for more than a week. the streak is over guys. but it wasnt my fault ok it was actually tumblrs!!!

the fact i have had to revise this chapter around five times GOOD GOD. i finally found an idea to focus on. originally wanted it to be strictly ecw, but we ended up heading on back to wcw lol. shorter than id like it to be but..i split it heehee

id also like to clarify things our tenure is like: ecw (1994-1996) > wcw (february 1996-september 1997) > ecw (october/november 1997) > wwf (december 1997)... how fun is that? hope that makes sense i think i talk about lore too much (yes i will go into detail)

YOU THINK TROUBLE follows you almost everywhere you go. When you went to WCW, you just wanted some peace. Of course, you’re just so unlucky that you can never EVER get what you want.

“Did you seriously crawl all the way from the ring?”

You’re not sure whether to commend him for his efforts or just be disappointed.

“Jeez, you’re so pathetic,” You say. “You can’t even stand on your own feet. I almost feel sorry for you.”

Raven doesn’t have the energy to look up, but he definitely knows it’s you. His vision is blurred, with the only thing in his view being your shoes.

Your voice sends Raven into a frenzy. While he hates the way you’re talking down to him, he loves the sound of it. He’s not sure if it’s his mind being all woozy.

….He’s bleeding, too. It’s noticeable, especially on his face. Some of his curls were also stained with red. You knew for a fact Stevie and Sandman did a number on him during his match.

Especially since the latter swung by afterwards and spilled the deets. Sandman was already lighting up a cigarette by the time he got to you. You can only wonder how he got it so fast..

“I set him straight.” He said, a puff of smoke hitting you in your face.

You wave it out the way, scrunching your nose. You’re not entirely sure what he said, but you don’t really care. “Can you—can you like, at least blow somewhere else?”

He just laughs at you. “Needed you to get your head out of the clouds.”

You’re unsure what number cigarette he’s on now. You’re too busy stuck in your thoughts to care. “I was listening, I-I swear.”

“Oh yeah? Then what did I just say?”

“…….”

Your silence causes him to puff more smoke in your direction. Goddamn it. You’re going to have a problem with him if you end up getting any secondhand smoke symptoms..

“Ha. Knew ya’ weren’t listening. I’ll say it again. You didn’t do it, so I ended up doing it myself. You’re letting this idiot fuck you guys over.”

At the time, you definitely weren’t listening. You were backstage pacing back and forth, hoping that Stevie made it out alright. You hadn’t seen him since he stormed out there and told you to stay behind.

Seeing Raven beaten down makes you feel complete. It makes you feel like you got your revenge, even if it was by proxy.

You kneel down to his level. “It’s crazy that it ended up like this. You’ve lost everyone, huh? I may be the only person you have left.”

You may be right. Raven’s lost everything. He’s lost Beulah. He’s lost his little lackeys. They’re all gone. They want nothing to do with him.

He’s half the man he used to be.

And he can’t say you didn’t try. You really, really did. For his sake. You destroyed yourself everyday so he’d be happy.

You left Terry’s side for him. You’ve even messed Tommy up so he could win his matches. You’ve never EVER received a ‘thank you’. Nothing was ever given to you in return.

Either way, if he wouldn’t give you appreciation, you hoped that someone else would. There were other people in the nest you could talk to..

You used to talk to Beulah the most, as she would request for you specifically to curl her hair. In her words: “there’s no one else that can do it like you”. She’s always been incredibly sweet to you.

The moment she had aligned herself with Tommy Dreamer was when things got worse. Raven forbid you from ever talking to her again. Don’t look at her. Don’t even THINK of her.

She didn’t exist in your life anymore.

After that, you really didn’t have any friends outside of her. Luckily, you then found yourself finding comfort in none other than Stevie Richards.

It surprised you. He was so peppy and he always looked as bright as the sun. He’s someone you thought you’d get annoyed with, but in the end, you felt like you two had a lot more in common.

Whenever you and him found something even the slightest bit funny, the two of you would burst into giggles.

It was almost scary how abrupt your joy would come to an end when Raven walked into the room.

When he’d do that, sometimes he will stare at you two. If you were lucky, you’d get out of it without him berating you. You two feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him.

…You’ve come to the conclusion that Raven can’t stand happiness. It was probably because he’s never had any in life. Because he didn’t have it, none of you in the Nest could.

It made you feel bad for him. He’s had a strange upbringing, so you felt like if you left him, he’d fall apart.

Maybe that’s why he acts the way he does. You wish you could open his head and just take a look at his brain. You wonder what’s going on in there.

You could never figure it out, but then came Kimona Wanalaya. She came into the picture sooner than you thought. Almost out of nowhere. Raven definitely wanted a place to pin his sadness.

Obviously, she was the cushion. He was the pin. She was very quiet, a little bit snarky. You figured Raven probably played a part in her behavior.

She always wore the cutest clothes though, that you had to admit. Once you told her as much, Kimona had told you that you’re welcome to come through her closet anytime.

You thought about it. It’s a hard maybe. Thing is, you’ve actually started matching with Stevie on occasion. Just to see how it feels.

You had to cut some of your old denim jeans as short as you could possibly get them.

Not too much, of course. There’s more of a mystery when someone’s covered up, you think. Then again, you had to wear crop tops, so eh.

Hey, on the bright side, no wardrobe malfunctions!

It got a kick out of the crowd, seeing you jump around and be all hyper as you head towards the ring. Mimicking him was really fun.

Raven didn’t like it though. He didn’t like how close you two were getting at all. It was all his fault though, he’s pretty cold to the both of you. It’s inevitable that you two would start to get along.

He really thought you’d get jealous of Kimona. That’s why he brought her around in the first place, at least that’s what he was telling himself. Yet you’re too focused on Stevie to even pay him any mind.

He never said anything about it either. All he could do was lie in the bed he made.

It’s all his fault and there’s nothing he could do to fix it. He shouldn’t have let you two get confident enough to leave him. None of you had the guts to get anything done.

He was the hero. It wasn’t any of you that aligned himself with him. He was the hero at the end of this story, you guys were just pawns to be used along the way.

Raven’s the winner. He always has been and always will be.

But winners don’t writhe on the ground while bleeding. He’s still having a hard time stabilizing himself.

He raises up a hand and tries to hold onto you in an attempt to get any kind of leverage, but you scoot away. “Ew, stop. You’re gonna get blood on me..”

Just as you say that, he spits out a string of blood, murmuring something that you couldn’t hear. 

You don’t really care.

“I tried helping you, Raven. I really did. It may be a stretch, but I’m almost the only person that can stand being around you just a little bit. There's no one that'll ever treat you like I do."

It was halfway a lie. You were sure if you stood nearby him any other time, you’d either try to claw his eyes out or end up crying. You hope it ends up being the former.

“I bet everyone loves you.” He finally says something understandable, using his hand to try and wipe away blood that was masking his vision.

He doesn’t turn upward to face you, deciding to stare right into the space behind. “I can only begin to wonder how that felt. Being appreciated and wanted in society. To be respected, not feared…”

“Oh yes. People love me.” You confirm. “You love me too.”

“….I don’t.”

“You definitely do. Don’t kid yourself…” You’re looking straight at him. "Haven't your parents ever told you its not good to lie?"

Maybe he does love you. No, he doesn’t know what he feels around you. It’s not contempt and it’s not admiration either.

The moment he says something that directly confronts the problem is the moment that you’ve won. He doesn’t want to give you that satisfaction.

“I know for a fact you love me, because you don’t have anyone else that does.” You can’t fight the small smile on your face. “You know, people recognizing their self-worth and all that.”

You say it so casually. Raven’s clenching his fist. The audacity of it all. You’re not even helping him. You should be helping him back to his feet and whispering that everything would be okay.

Yet here you are. You’re making fun of him.

It’s something that neither of you would’ve expected. He fucking hates how it ended up being this way.

This isn’t fair. None of it is.

You feel like Raven’s hurt you for far too long. It’s his turn to get the short end of the stick.

Raven knew that it was inevitable he’d see you again, but not like this. This wasn’t the way he planned for things to go.

You must be a curse. Ruining everything one step at a time. Then again, it was partially his mothers fault as well.

Everything was crafted to be so meticulous. He would be there, then work his way back into your life and right inside of your head, just like old times. And if Stevie’s there, you’re sure to follow.

It’s not like things weren’t going to plan at first. He knew he would follow you to WCW once you left, that’s why he stopped asking.

As soon as you saw him in the crowd, you knew that you were in for a ton of shit. First, it’s Sting you had to deal with, now on top of that you had to deal with Raven?!

It only made you feel the slightest bit better to see Stevie frantically waving at you in the crowd as well. It made you a little upset seeing them together, mainly because he’s made so much progress with leaving Raven in the dust.

Unfortunately for Raven, the one damn time that his mother was backstage trying to get in was when it started to fall apart. You shouldn’t have been there!

And thus began the reckoning, as he would call it.

“Oh, that [Name] girl is so sweet! Why don’t you invite her over for dinner?” Raven’s mother would urge him to invite you over every chance she got. He definitely didn’t want you inside his house.

“No mom.” He’d always respond. “She can’t come over.”

"Why not, Scotty?"

Raven cringes. He hates when she calls him that. It’s not who he is anymore. "Because. I don't want her to.."

"Well, please reconsider." She says, laying the table cloth down onto the table. "What about your other friend, Chris Kanyon, wasn’t it?”

“I don't care.” He waves her off. “Why do you even want them to come anyway?”

“I just think they would be wonderful guests to have. I'm sure Chastity would enjoy the company as well."

If you came over, nothing would work. He doesn't exactly know how you'll react to him either.

You had stopped listening to him near the end of your tenure, which really pissed him off. You slowly started to realize that he can’t control you anymore. He shouldn't have in the first place. Before you left, you decided to make amends with ones that you've done wrong.

..With everyone except for him. Because you truly never did anything to hurt him. It's been him hurting you this entire time. And you just sat there and took it because you didn't know any better.

You feel like this was inevitable, just like a moth to a flame, you find yourself coming right back to Raven. Even after you’ve joined the NWO.

Really. Who could resist? It was an invite from his own mother! She completely ignored his request, holding onto the statement that some company would do him good.

You probably should’ve known that this would be a segment somehow, too..

His mother is right by your side with a smile. "I really hope you're enjoying the stay.”

“I am! You have a really beautiful home.” Seriously. It was huge. His parents must’ve been millionaires, if not billionaires. There’s no way this could really be Raven’s childhood home, could it?

You feel like everything is a lie. From his “terrible” upbringing, to the way he treated you and the others..

Did this mean he just did it because he could?! 

“I’m not sure where Scotty is. I think it’s so rude he won’t come and greet you. I’m sorry about that. It’s something he’s working on in his treatment.”

“Treatment, you say?” Oh, now you’re curious. 

“Oh, yes! He didn’t tell you?” Of course he didn’t. “He’s been seeing a doctor for his behavior as of late. It’s a slow process, but I miss my little boy…..”

You feel bad for her. You really did. Yet you want to tell her how bad her son has treated you and a few others, but you’re sure it’s not what she wants to hear right now. 

“Feel free to make yourself at home, [Name]. In the meantime, I can make you something to drink if you’d like?” His mother seemed very enthusiastic about you being here. “Wine? Maybe water?”

You shake your head. “No, I’m good, thank you.”

Chastity is too engrossed in her magazine to notice you in the room at first, but when her mother clears her throat, she looks up. 

Seeing it’s you, a smile grows on her face. “Hey, [Name].” She greets.

You knew Chastity was from ECW, but by the time she was there, you were already departed from the company. “Hi there, Chas.” You wave. “Anything new?”

She sets the magazine flat onto the table. “Hey. Yeah. Raven’s friend is getting on my nerves. He thinks I like him or something. I can't even begin to imagine why he comes over here in the—“

A creaking sound coming from the other room makes the three of you turn around. It's Kanyon, followed by a sluggish Raven coming down the steps.

Upon seeing your face, Raven's completely startled. "What the hell is she doing here? Mooom, I told you, I didn't want her to come over!"

Ouch, way to greet your guests..

His mother isn't pleased. The look of embarrassment spreads on her face like a wildfire. "Scotty! That's no way you should say hello.."

Raven doesn't respond, just shakes his head. What can he do about it now that you're here? Absolutely nothing, so he just staggers over to you. "Hey."

"Hi. Nice place you've got here."

He scoffs. You’re damn right it’s a nice place. It’s what he wants to say, but is only able to mutter out a: “Right. Whatever.”

“I mean, I didn't know you had such a big house.” You say. “Like wow.”

Raven scoffs. “It’s nothing. You always exaggerate stuff.”

You motion outside, ignoring his previous comment. “You even have a pool! I know my place is a bit spacious, but holy shit, I don’t even have a pool.”

...Something tells you he’s not happy to see you at all. He just walks past you and heads towards the couch. You really were surprised though. He'd go on and on about his rough upbringing, but you weren't exactly sure if you believed him or not now.

His mother huffs. “I’m sorry. He doesn’t seem to be in a good mood right now..” She expectantly looks at Kanyon, but he only shrugs at her.

Kanyon gives you a wave though. “Hey. You’re [Name], right? From ECW?”

“Yeah, yeah I am. And you are…?”

“Chris Kanyon.”

You don’t recognize him, yet you still hold out your hand for him to shake. “I see. Nice to meet you, then!”

“Raven talks about you a lot. You should see all the stuff he’s got in his room about..” Kanyon is just about to continue, but Raven immediately launches out of his seat to cut him off.

“Yo, Kanyon,” His voice sounded strained. “I wanted to show ya’ a thing in our backyard. You know. The thing I was talking about? C’mon, dude.”

“Wait, what thing?”

Raven’s already shoving the poor guy outside. You watch them leave in suspicion, then turn back around to his mother. She’s only waving the two off, telling them not to make much of a mess.

“Hey, can I use your bathroom?” You ask.

She nods. “Of course. Up the stairs to the right, sweetie.”

“Thanks.” You give her a nod, then turn away to head up the stairs. You didn’t actually have to use the bathroom, obviously. You just want to know what the heck Raven’s got in his room for him to cut Kanyon off like that.

He's bad at keeping secrets, that's for sure. Once you get up there, you try to be a little quiet as you slink the opposite way. You peek through one door and you're met with a decently sized room. It's nice. Neatly decorated, clean, and a ton of space. Holy shit, they really are rich!

This doesn't seem to be his room anyway. It may be his mother's. You don't see anything that would tick off the boxes that it could be his. He mentioned that he was a "rock guy", so you figure he'd have some type of memorabilia in his room.

You close it and move on. You wish you could compliment her on how nice it was, but you were supposed to be in the bathroom, not snooping around.

The next room that was down the hall seemed to be what you were looking for. Of course he had something on the door that said, "DO NOT ENTER". He's so corny.

Compared to the other room, this totally looked like his. It's a little more stuffy, but the decorations inside seem to make up for it. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary, save for the posters displayed on his wall.

Again, you're not surprised. He would always proudly effuse that he was a huge rock fan. He even wore the shirts to back it up. Not to mention how annoying he would get when you two were in the car together. Whatever CDS he brought...was the shit that you had to listen to for the entire trip.

For some reason, you feel a little creepy invading his space like this, even feel like you’re a little rude for overstepping a boundary. 

Then again, he kinda deserved it. As bad as it sounded, he was just getting karma. You’re not exactly sure if therapy was going to help him enough. 

That man is broken and you’re not a construction worker. You can’t fix him.

You just head into his room and slowly close the door behind you, leaving it open juuust a little bit so that you can hear better. You’d just be in and out once you find what you were looking for. 

This would be a little hard. His room was a little more disorganized. You have to kneel down to move things around from the end of his bed. 

At first, it starts to look like you weren’t going to strike gold at all. But your hand brushes up against something hard under the pile of clothes you tried to sort out next.

There’s some sort of small storage bin poking out from the bottom of his bed. Really weird.

You shuffle more clothes around and pull it out. You seriously have to make this quick, because you knew the others would probably start to wonder why you're upstairs for so long. You pop the top open and what you find isn't what you would expect.

Why were there so many pictures of you in here?

Some candids, some cuttings from the WCW magazine..

What the fuck.

What the fuck is going on here.

You drop it quickly and it flutters back into the bin. It's just as you thought, he's as much as a problem as Sting, if not WORSE. You don't even think Sting's gone as far as getting photos of you, but goddamn.

Scarily enough, you feel flattered. You just want to hit yourself for even feeling that way. This is wrong. Very, very wrong.

It's definitely time to get the fuck out of dodge, before you can even explore why you aren't as alarmed as you should be. You close the top on the bin and shove it where it was, then throw some clothes over it.

You stand up from your spot and look at a desk that was nearby. There was some sort of collectible trading card set on there. You figure you'll take something, just because you can. Call it a gift to yourself, a collateral for your mental health.

The coast is clear, so you make your way out of his room and towards the steps. For a second you have to take a breath, holding onto the banister.

You start to think maybe you should go home. That would be the best decision. You head back down the stairs and walk over to the living room area. "Chastity," You call her and she looks up at you. "I'm gonna head out. I just remembered I had something to do. Can you tell your mother that I'm sorry?"

She looks at you in confusion. "You got here not too long ago. Are you okay??" The look on your face is a little too obvious. Plus, you didn't call her a nickname.

"I'm fine, really!" You exclaim louder than intended. "Seriously. Just a little on edge because I forgot something really important. I'll see you later?"

Chastity figures she wouldn't get anywhere else with you, so she gives a thumbs up and lets you go for now.

It's only when you head out the door, was when you started to feel a little bit sick. You don't know what happened, but you just feel like you don't want to see Raven for a while.

It's what he would have wanted anyways. You weren't welcome in his house.

You had no choice but to respect his wishes.

i keep trying to do things..but tumblr just wont let me be great?!?!?!?!

THIS IS NOT OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM..the bret fans get a double u next chapter i promise. desktop is literally acting up for me now, though i think it may just be THIS draft if that makes sense???

now we have two stalkers. reader just has more history with raven thats why she kinda likes this. sting's gonna slam dunk knock it out of the park this shit though trust me!

#wwe golden series #wwe raven x reader #ecw raven x reader #stevie richards x reader #WHERE ARE MY GODDAMN TAGS??!?? #just cut the cameras. #GIRL WHERE YA GOIN #HMM AHHHH THROW THAT AHH BACK HERE #each post i make the tags become crazier and crazier #just keeping you guys on your toes #who else in wcw help

[flannelepicurean]

Okay, sometimes when I have a Rough Night and then have to take a day nap because... I literally can't keep functioning, I have bonkers-ass dreams.

In the latest entry, Goku had, like, broken his arm or something, and he was being a real Vegeta about asking for help, and Chi-Chi and Bulma finally got fed up and sent Dolly Parton after his ass.

And because he is also a rural workin' gal, and a world-class himbo, he was all, "Aw, shucks, Miss Dolly," when she was like, "Goku, sweetie, there's a great big ol' buncha people who care about you back there, wonderin' why you're actin' so daggone foolish. Now straighten up and fly right."

And like...yes. YES. I am 100000% here for it. Furthermore:

No one mistakes her for Launch.

The first time Roshi tries to Roshi up to her, she's like, "Try any of that monkey business with me, sunshine, and you'll be eatin' that turtle shell for dinner. And it looks about bite-sized to me." Because she does like to flirt, but Roshi is a CREEP, and I just don't see her abiding that from someone who is clearly not gonna be a gentleman.

Dolly is 0.95 Vegetas tall, but her typical footwear probably puts her around 1.0 Bulmas, or 1.03 Vegetas in height. (Bulma is canonically taller than Vegeta. It's just a fact.)

This is crucial, because Dolly is looking Ge dead in the eye when she asks him if he can dance. Because he ain't gonna win that girl's heart with his charming attitude. And Geets tries to blow her off, of course, but she's like, "Lord, Vegeta, honey, what're you scared of?" And he's like, "I'M NOT SCARED OF--" and she's like, "Shouldn't be any trouble then, come on."

And of course, once they spend some time together, Dolly's like, "Listen, sweetie, I know what it's like to have big dreams and big, fabulous hair. You gotta show her that big heart, too." And Vegeta's like, "grumble grumble, pout," but she's just like, "Baby, it don't matter if it's broken. Find you a good stable and somebody with a gentle hand. It'll gallop." And he's like, "...I LOVE YOU, MISS DOLLY!!!😭😭😭" And she's like, "I love you too, precious. Now come on, pick up the pace, let's get to swingin'!"

...I just think Dolly Parton could fix what's wrong with every single person in the DBZ Universe.

And she'd take Piccolo on the World Series Poker circuit or something, and he'd destroy everyone.

#this dream i had #dragon ball z #dolly parton #she can fix him #she can fix everyone #when goku's being a real vegeta about it #call dolly parton #get his ass #he's a rural workin' gal #he respects her #how could you not though #she could even turn vegeta's gremlin ass around #and now vegeta can square dance #also #get ready for piccolo #world series poker star #goku #bulma #chi chi #vegeta #piccolo #come on honey

[apocalypta-secundus]

Disturbed - Divisive Roleplay Meme

Divisive

You won't listen to me.

You won't speak to me.

Stop judging me.

You're just another monster.

You just can't seem to fill that whole in your heart.

Hatred will never go away.

Don't listen to me.

Don't speak to me.

What are you fulfilling?

Hey You

Have you had enough of it?

Are you angered enough?

Are you losing your mind?

Inner peace isn't easy to find.

Are you strong enough to stop jumping in?

Hey you, walking away, you've got the wrong kind of mindset and it's helping no one.

That shit keeps rotting your mind.

Can you feel the effect of it?

Have you woken up?

Do you still deny?

Are you gonna comply?

This world is so full of it, madness is easy to find.

Is it bad enough?

You know you can't let go.

Unstoppable

You're never gonna stop me.

I'm the nightmare you've been dreaming of.

Let me show you what I'm made of.

This is just the beginning.

Let me tell you something, there's no where left for you to hide.

You won't see me coming.

I can end your life with not a sound.

Hear me now.

I've fulfilled my vow.

There's no escape.

I am unstoppable.

This judgment can't be undone.

Vengeance is coming.

Believe it now, you won't survive.

Don't bother running.

It's over this time.

You're going to pay now for all that you've taken.

Bad Man

Is it ever enough?

Will you ever find a new obsession?

You can never return.

You're never gonna find redemption now.

Oh, innocents always have to die by your hand.

No, I will never understand.

They're all victims.

Need to settle a score.

There's no way that you can be forgiven now.

Love to Hate

I hear voices screaming for the ones they want to die.

I feel my heart rate speeding in anticipation

I think all of us have taken things a bit too far.

Everybody just loves to hate

You'll finally know you're right

When there's no one left to fight.

Why do we love to hate?

I can see a battle raging that we're never gonna win

I keep hope alive, but tell me, where do we begin?

Feeding the Fire

I keep looking for this one thing.

Looking for something.

Looking for anything.

I'm not taking it anymore.

I'll be breaking down the door.

I've been waiting for this one, yearning for someone.

I stand ready to give you what you need.

We all need a release.

We're all dying to live again.

Don't Tell Me

We know we should turn and walk away.

We can't help but cause more pain.

Here we are once again.

Am I supposed to let you go?

I can't live my life without you.

I can't believe how much this hurts.

How can I let you go?

Take Back Your Life

Don't sit there and watch it fall apart.

There's no one coming to save you.

You've gotta make your stand now.

Time to let go of what used to be now.

Do not let this moment pass you by.

Show the world what you were meant to be now.

Let them hear your voice like never before.

You know it's time, my friend, to start living again.

Part of Me

I never wanted to be like this.

I never wanted to feel anything.

I never asked for anyone to penetrate my heart.

You were the one that made me like this.

I feel defeated.

I've been torn apart.

You were a part of me, you've taken everything

I see the future.

I never wanted to feel hopeless.

I'm terrified of everything.

I walk around feeling lifeless.

I fantasize destroying everything.

Won't Back Down

I didn't want to march into the fray.

I know I'll never make the same mistake again

I won't back down.

I won't back down from this fight

I won't be denied.

I'm somebody who cannot pretend.

I refuse to drown in my shame.

I will never fail to stand my ground again.

#Album ain't even out and I'm here making a meme #ok to reblog #roleplay meme #TW: abuse #TW: Violence #tw: possessive behavior #TW: Threatening behavior #Remember to buy the Album folks it's a banger. #Not in track order. #Hey you; Unstoppable and Divisive were teaser releases for the album :P #Disturbed roleplay meme #rp meme

[demonprincezeldris]

The battle was brutal. Bloody and terrifying and brutal. Zeldris got more and more desperate, and Melanthius only grew more vicious. He grunted as his sword plunged through his body, the holy magic - imbued in it upon its forging - burned in an agonizing flurry.

It was not as agonizing as knowing this battle would be his death. For he’d never truly raise his blade against his brother.

Blood trickled down his chin as Melanthius pushed it further in. Zeldris gathered what strength he had, letting his sword fall to the ground with a clatter. He lifted his red soaked hand, and put it on his cheek.

“I love you, I forgive you, and I’m sorry.” He managed to whisper.

His glare only harded, and he hissed at the demon hunched over his sword. “I’ll not fall for your tricks.” He channeled his magic through his sword, and Zeldris’s face contorted in an agonized grimace. “Now leave this world, so the divine light of the goddesses may shine brighter.”

He did, not like he had much of a choice. Melanthius’s magic destroyed his hearts from the inside, and he cast one last painful, regret filled gaze over his baby brother, his precious, misguided baby brother. A final exhale, his black eyes flickered green - the same green as his - before closing, and he collapsed, crumpling in the dirt as Melanthius retracted his blade and flicked off the blood. Melascula saw first, and her wail went up into the air, getting the commandment’s attention, which caught that of the goddesses as well.

“Prince Zeldris! Is! Dead!” He called, lifting his crimson soaked sword.

A great cheer went up among the goddesses, and he retreated with them as the demons swarmed towards their heirs' still warm body.

Back in the Celestial realm, celebrations commenced. Melanthius was cheered for and there was dancing and singing and drinking. Finally, with the most powerful demon dead, the balance is tipped in their favor! They can win this, spread the purity and light of the goddesses to all of Brittania!

Things began to settle after hours, everyone breaking off into little circles around fire pits. He was with his mothers, who congratulated him on a battle well fought but had stayed out of the festivities for the most part. They felt it was cruel to celebrate a death. Honestly, he agreed with them, but this was the most he’d felt accepted by the people he was raised with in well… ever. He murmured something about taking a leak, and went off to find a relieving chamber. On his way back, he… heard something.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe it actually worked!‘

“Shh, keep your voice down!” A quiet laugh. “But I agree. I have faith in her majesty, of course, but when she kidnapped Zeldris’s younger brother to raise as a weapon, well, I thought she’d get frustrated and kill him when it didn’t work.”

A jolt when through Melanthius, and he held his breath as he listened.

“I know, right? I can hardly believe we actually got ‘Prince Meliodas’ to kill his older brother! And the best part is…”

“He has no idea! Doesn’t even know her majesty changed his name and manipulated a demigod into going against his own people!”

“You think she’s gonna kill him, now that the job’s done?”

“Mmm, nah. Knowing her, she’ll probably let him keep going, and then tell him as like, a test.”

“Here’s to using that brat to wipe out the entire demon clan!”

“Here here!”

Melanthius slipped back into the shadows, collected himself, and went back to his mothers. He told them with a shaky smile that the battle took a lot out of him, and he was gonna turn in early. They smiled and told him goodnight, kissing him on the forehead before he went off. He did, in fact, go to bed, but he didn’t sleep. Just curled up there and thought.

I love you, I forgive you, and I’m sorry, I love you, I forgive you, and I’m sorry, I love you, I forgive you, and I’m sorry.

“Melio-” “That’s not my name!”

“Melanthius, please-” “Stay away from me!”

“If you would just listen-” “I’ll listen to no lies you spill!”

“I need to tell you-” “Die, foul monster!”

He felt sick. Gods, had he been trying to tell him… That whole time? Was it true? Had he really… Had he killed his own brother?

It would make some sense… Melanthius was scarily powerful, if he really was a demigod, it would answer a lot of questions.

But, no! He couldn’t be! He was abandoned as a baby, his demon family didn’t want him! No one wanted him but the goddesses, THEY were the ones that took him as one of their own, raised him with purity and goodness. THEY were the only ones that loved him!

I love you, I forgive you, and I’m sorry.

Unless it was all a lie? Unless it was just manipulation to keep him docile? Keep him obedient?

Ugh, he wasn’t going to find out anything here! He threw the blanket back, and yanked on his shoes, tying his cloak around his shoulders with a firm tug. He only hesitated once at the window, his eyes flashing black as he used miniscule threads of his magic to pull pillows and laundry under the blanket, letting his magic linger long enough to mimic his signature, and slipped out.

He snuck out through the portal into Brittania, making his way carefully to the demon's border, and inside. He knew the Commandments had a base somewhere inside. With how strong their signature’s were, it shouldn’t be too hard to find, right?

He did. Eventually. It took him a couple hours. He slipped inside, keeping to the rafters as he slunk through the base. Then he found his goal.

The commandments were gathered around a glowing pool, Zeldris floating inside of it.

"...Gowther."

"Mm?"

"You know he's not going to wake up… right?"

"...I know. But at least his body will be healed for the funeral."

Monspeet nodded, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. Derieri broke, must have been holding back for awhile, and whirled on Melascula, gripping her collar. "Why can't you just- just bring him back??"

"Derieri- You know how my magic works, I could, but-"

"He'd be alive-"

"He'd be miserable! My magic will revive him, yes, but by doing so, it'd fill him with rage and hate and regret and bitterness! You want that for him??"

She sagged, releasing her pack mate. "...No."

Melascula sighed and took her hands, squeezing gently. "I'm sorry. If I could find a way- I'd do it in a heartbeat, Deri, you have to know that." She nodded, form miserable.

…Well, best he get it over with.

He positioned himself and fell to the ground, landing lightly on his feet. They all whirled on him, and he zeroed in on Galand.

"You. You will be honest with me. You will tell me the truth. You have no choice." They were a little stunned to see him shaking, and he clenched his fists, raising his chin to mask his fear. Not of them, not really. Of finding out everything he knows is a lie. "When I killed him, his last words were- were-" His broke, and he swallowed. "I love you, I forgive you, and I'm sorry. Why?? Why would he say that to me?? I thought he was just trying to mess with my mind, but then I heard soldiers talking, and I- tell me the truth, I need to know what's real and what's not! I-I dont even know what my real name is anymore!" He brought his hands up to his hair, tugging on the long golden strands, and Grayroad made a move to drift forward. Melanthius’s eyes snapped back to them, and he whipped his sword out, on guard and threatening. "Stay back! You answer my questions, and you do it from over there!"

Galand raised his hands passively. "Young one, are you sure you're in a state to recieve-"

"Just tell me!!"

"Zeldris never wanted to hurt you. He just wanted to bring you home and keep you safe. He was your elder brother, and when you were born, he named you Meliodas."

There was tense silence for a minute before Melanthius put the heels of his palms against his eyes. "Fuck. How-?"

"You were stolen when you were but a kit. That's how the Holy War began. He was trying to rescue you."

"Zeldris is my brother. I wasn't abandoned? Someone- someone loved me?" What little blood left in his face rushed out. "And I killed him…"

"Oh, young one… He never blamed you, not once. And you're welcome here, its not your fault you were manipulataed. We're your family too, the commandments, we're a pack, you-" He cut Gowther off as he took a couple tentative steps forward.

"Stay! Back!" He snarled, readying his sword again. He was breathing heavily, and his eyes were watery. While glaring at them, his gaze drifted to the healing pool, and his face fell. "What have I done…?"

"Melanthius-"

He shook his head, and stumbled back, before whirling around and bolting. They called out after him, tried to chase him, but he was damn fast, and they lost him. Derieri growled and stomped the ground. "Fuck! Do you think he'll be ok?"

"One can only hope." Monspeet murmured, rubbing her arm gently. "Maybe, when he calms down, he'll come back, and we can tell him the full story." She sighed and put her head on his chest. "I hope so."

Melanthius flew for ages. Crying. Fuck. There was his proof. His undeniable fucking proof. Zeldris was his brother, Zeldris had LOVED him, and he had killed him. Had looked him in the eye with hatred, called him a monster, and told him to die.

I love you, I forgive you, and I'm sorry.

He made his way to a secluded Grove he used to go to when he was younger to be alone, stayed there for hours.

Elizabeth found him. He heard her wings flap, the rustle of her feathers. "Melanthius! Your mothers and I have been looking everywhere for you, why did you run off??"

"...Did you know?"

"What?"

He lifted his head out of his knees eith a weak glare, eyes red and puffy. "Did you know that Zeldris was my brother?"

She froze, looking undeniably guilty, and he sighed, putting his head back against his knees and curling up tighter. "Of course you did. Seems like everyone knew but me."

There was a moment of hesitation, before she sat down next to him, pulling her knees to her chest as well. "How did you find out?"

"I heard some of the soldiers talking during the festivities last night. Alcohol makes the tongue loose, apparently. Then I went to the commandments, because I- I had to know for sure. Galand confirmed it. Zeldris… do you know what the last thing he said to me was? As I was killing him?"

"Hm?"

He curled up a little tighter. "I love you, I forgive you, and I'm sorry." His voice cracked a little. "He loved me, Ellie. He loved me, and I killed him."

"I'm so sorry, Melanthius, I would have told you. But I was forced to take a divine vow of silence. Even now, I cannot give you details."

"...Is my name Melanthius… Or is it Meliodas? Both feel wrong, now that I know. Nothing was ever real, was it? Was it all a lie?"

She leaned over, tapping her head against his shoulder. "I think everything you did was real, even if the context was different. I'm positive Aunty Ami and Aunt Ina love you. It didn't ever matter to them, you're their son, just the same."

He took a shuddering breath. "Hey Elizabeth?"

"Hm?"

"Wanna run away with me?"

"...What."

"I can't stay in the Celestial realm, not after learning the truth. I can't go to the Underworld, I killed their prince. The gods are both cruel and hateful. You're my best friend, so what if we just. Left?"

"I-I dunno, Mel. What about your mom's? Merlin? What about Mael, you know him and I are engaged!"

"...You're right. It was stupid of me."

"...I'll help you get away, for a while. I won't run away with you, but I'll get you started."

He nodded. "Thank you. Look after Mer for me for a bit, ok?"

She nodded.

They didn't make it very far. Barely past the borders into giants land, flying side by side, when some sort of teleportation spell yanked them to an audience with the gods.

Next thing he knew, Elizabeth was dead by his side, and the curse began.

THERE WILL BE A PART TWO TO THIS

Once I write it, that is.

Wow I loved reading this! Poor Meliodas, killing his brother who he really thought was the enemy. Meliodas is having some serious identity crisis right now-

#Meliodas #Zeldris #Big Bro Zel AU #pack mentality

[glassjarglassjar]

Corporal

Excerpted from Revenge of the Lawn by Richard Brautigan, ©1963:

Once I had visions of being a general. This was in Tacoma during the early years of World War II when I was a child going to grade school. They had a huge paper drive that was brilliantly put together like a military career.

It was very exciting and went something like this: If you brought in fifty pounds of paper you became a private; seventy-five pounds of paper were worth a corporal’s stripes and a hundred pounds to be a sergeant, then spiraling pounds of paper leading upward until finally you arrived at being a general.

I think it took a ton of paper to be a general or maybe it was only a thousand pounds. I can't remember the exact amount but in the beginning it seemed so simple to gather enough paper to be a general.

I started out by gathering all the loose paper that was lying innocently around the house. That added up to three or four pounds. I'll have to admit that I was a little disappointed I don't know where I got the idea that the house was just filled with paper. I actually thought there was paper all over the place. It's an interesting surprise that paper can be deceptive.

I didn't let it throw me, though. I marshaled my energies and went out and started going door to door asking people if they had any newspapers or magazines lying around that could be donated to the paper drive, so that we could win the war and destroy evil forever. An old woman listened patiently to my spiel and then she gave me a copy of Life magazine that she had just finished reading. She closed the door while I was still standing there staring dumbfoundedly at the magazine in my hands. The magazine was warm.

At the next house, there wasn't any paper, not even a used envelope because another kid had already beaten me to it.

At the next house, nobody was home.

That's how it went for a week, door after door, house after house, block after block until finally I got enough paper to­gether to become a private.

I took my God-damn little private's stripe home in the absolute bottom of my pocket. There were already some paper officers, lieutenants and captains, on the block. I didn't even bother to have the stripe sewed on my coat. I just threw it in a drawer and covered it up with some socks.

I spent the next few days cynically looking for paper and lucked into a medium pile of Collier's from somebody's base­ment which was enough to get my corporal's stripes that im­mediately joined my private's stripe under the socks.

The kids who wore the best clothes and had a lot of spend­ing money and got to eat hot lunch every day were already generals. They had known where there were a lot of maga­zines and their parents had cars. They strutted military airs around the playground and on their way home from school.

Shortly after that, like the next day, I brought a halt to my glorious military career and entered into the disenchanted paper shadows of America where failure is a bounced check or a bad report card or a letter ending a love affair and all the words that hurt people when they read them.

#books #richard brautigan #book excerpt

[shin-tsukimii]

Alright, here’s the story, it’s called “the marionette”

‼️‼️ suicide warning ‼️‼️

As I make my final walk, I listen to my final thoughts in an attempt to understand what led me to this moment. Was it because I'm tired of it all? Is it because everything I built, the years I spent sacrificing my joy for my mom, the years of torment I had from my father that my mom pushed aside? i’ve always thought i was just dramatic, but i don’t feel dramatic right now. Perhaps I'm wrong, but at this moment I have one recurring thought, one that was all I've been told my entire life: am I worthy of my humanity?

i ask this question because ill i’ve known is my monstrosity, which I understand why, I have only ruin around me. created by my own hands, stained with the ashes of the burned bridges that I light up with my own matches, covered with the scars of the battles i lost, not even winning one, pathetic, isn’t it? I was taught of my lack of humanity and kindness by those who were supposed to raise me, who was supposed to make me feel human and cared for, they made me selfish and inhuman, i am nothing but the marionette, and they are the puppet masters, controlling my everyone waking moment…but, what happens when the fragile strings of the marionette start to stretch and tear? what is the use of

a wooden doll with no mind of its own?

I feel my fists tighten in frustration as I make it up the stairs, halfway to the top. I can't stop thinking about the same sentence over and over again, the same question. “am i left with a shred of humanity?” it echoes in my head. I sigh and lift my head up facing forward and open the balcony door. I make my way to the edge, in front of me is a metal fence, warm to the touch from the August heated days and colder nights.

I remember how I only used to go here when I had a broken bone, or a bad cold. I'd cry every time but got rewarded with a lollipop and a toy for being “so well behaved” but I knew that was never true, I acted as if it was the end of the world, I always knew they were lying to me. I grow a small frown as I lean on the railing. the second i felt the corners of my lips facing down, i remember when i smiled more, though being short lived, my entire life everyone always always loved my smile. my teachers, parents, peers. everyone. They used to make me smile, in any photo, throughout the day and throughout the night, i used to love it, I loved the attention, but I question when did it become a chore? where did the once joyful feeling turn into one of annoyance? When did my once pearly white smile, bursting with life and euphoria, evolve into a disgusting yellow frown, as infectious as if it was radiation?

As I reminisce on this memory, a different one I've buried in the depths of my mind reappears. If it made them happy then I'd cut the sides of my mouth. mouth to ear, posing as a permanent smile. if it would make me worth something i’d do it over and over again, until the very last lifetime, even in my last moments i’m still dramatic and “poetic.” Well, at least that’s what they would tell me, they used my sorrow and turned it into diamonds of their own benefit, i am nothing but a tool for their success, a shattered mind. destroyed into clay, yet to be molded into their desired design and needed use.

I finally snap out of the trance my thoughts pulled me in, if i want to succeed, then i should do it already and quit being such a child, but i can’t bring myself to do so quite yet. Something feels unsaid, I reach to scratch my left arm, the bandages on my arms were there when I woke up, I try to scratch but I wince at the burning sensation. Since there’s no point in not taking them off, they aren’t as tightly wrapped as I thought they’d be, so I get them off quickly. I look at my arms, they’re stitched with seems like strings, much like the ones i’m finally able to lose after so many years. I still can’t help but wonder, “how did i survived that? why did I survive that?” i wasn’t deserving of a second change- a change of a new, tight and strong string from my old, loose and teared one, the doctors and nurses time could have gone to anyone else- a hysterical child with a leg injury from playing soccer, still in dirty clothes having been brought here straight here the game, an older man having a heart attack with his young daughter begging him to stay with her as she’ll be alone without him, anyone in the world so why me? why not a true being, with a purpose left in them, but instead an empty shell, with the humanity cruelly ripped away from them?

I feel my heart begin racing, A feeling I know all too well. I feel a light sweat on my forehead but not the cause of it, was it the adrenaline? Was it the fear? Or was it excitement? there was no way i could have known. I look up at the darkened sky, the sun slowly setting in the distance. The stores' vibrant lights are still on, people are going into restaurants with their friends, the busy road, all the workers are going home to their families, after a long day of tiresome working. it must be nice to be them, they’ve accomplished so much. they’ll have a legacy for who knows how long? that girl walking out of the grocery with a boy, hand in hand could get married one day or they could end in divorce? the drunken woman walking out of the bar carried by her friends could have celebrated a birthday, or she could have relapsed? the homeless man on the street could be a millionaire soon, or will he take his final breathe on that very spot?

Who's to say? there’s so many possibilities for them, but not me. I have one possible ending. it’s the one i’m fated with, i’m tired of trying to change it when it’s so clearly set in stone. it’s unfortunate that my time had to end so soon, but that’s ok. i’m at peace with it, i’ve been at peace the second i knew that i was finally ready to do this. With the memory of that, I hop on top of the railing, sitting on it, holding on for dear life so I don't lose my balance just yet. my legs hanging off the building, this is the first time i am not controlled by string but by my own will. I take a deep breath, I feel a new sensation. not at all like the last time i tried this, i felt relieved yet scared, joyful yet miserable, every emotion contradicting the other. But now, I don't feel sad, I don't feel anxious, I don't feel anything. I feel numb.

have i used up the remainder of my emotions and energy? is there no more feeling left for me? is this what freedom feels like? devoid of feelings and emotions? I don't even realize I'm crying until I feel the tears drip on my gown, lightly soaking small patches of it. they start to lighten and fade from a stronger breeze, it dries my tears like a mother would, like my mother was supposed to do for me in times such as these. Before I let go, I can clearly picture my demise, the fall of the star marionette in the grand show.

the maroon will gorgeously paint the parking lot as if it was a freshly finished mural, the metallic scent, overpowering those who went near it. a the red tint on the roots of my hair seeping from my skull. sirens like a melody that you’ve heard so many times it gets old and you don’t want to listen to ever again, And then in the midst of it all: Me. my body crushed on the pavement, much like a monster that the final girl, who managed to survive by her own wits had finally killed in a horror movie, which happens to be fitting for me. gracefully covered with a blanket, highlighting my face and body. the tears of the bystanders, who wished they saw me on the top and could have prevented it, the screams of the puppet masters, praying this was all a bad dream and seeping into denial, though the only reason the tears flow is because she had lost her only puppet, because what good is a puppet master without their marionette? the paramedics, shaking their heads in sadness and grief as they carried my lifeless frame.

But there is another new feeling, apathy. I've spent my years caring about everything I've done or said, picking apart every fiber of me to absolute perfection, years of being a tool, meant to only please and serve, but here we are. I don't care. I don't care that they wish I stayed, I don't care about my mothers tears. I don't care. she never did, nobody every did. they only cared when i was of use, i wa s forced to learn that you’ll only be wanted when your needed, then your place on the back of the shelf, collecting dust until your of use again. I don't know if the feeling will last and I'll soon regret it, but for now. I don't care what they feel, I am going to be selfish for the first time in my life, i am finally able to grab the scissors and cut away my strings, attaching me to what i was forced to be. I wipe my final tears and sigh. For the final time, I shut my eyes, let my hands loosen, and I feel myself slip forward.

for a second it’s terrifying, but then it now feels like i’m flying, i feel heavy and weightless, i didn’t even know i could feel something like that. I expected the adrenaline rush to make it feel like the fall of a roller coaster, or a fast motorcycle ride. But no, just the sensation of flight. I open my eyes and see I'm not too far from the ground and prepare for the bone crush. The last thing I remember was my uncontrollable smile, smiling the very way I did when I was a kid, the very way that made my friends laugh and smile as if it was contagious, smiling with the satisfaction that the strings have finally been cut, cut by my own hand. smiling like it was the last thing I ever did.

(End)

I like this version of the story better than the first, I think this one feels like it has something more to follow with the comparison of puppets and such, thank you!

Holy shit, I loved reading this. The original was already really good, but you definitely made it better. I always liked the kind of imagery and metaphors you used/described. It was very easy to picture, down to the smallest detail honestly. Definitely a 10/10.

I said it before, I'll say it again: You're a very promising writer. Keep at it!! You show great potential!!

#Anonymous #asks #suicide tw #tw suicide #suicide #❌ Paranoid Remarks

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Split Decision: Teofimo Lopez Edges Sandor Martin

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Published: December 11, 2022

Young stars Keyshawn Davis, Jared Anderson, and Xander Zayas remain undefeated. NEW YORK— Junior welterweight contender Teofimo Lopez (18-1, 13 KOs) headlined in the big room at Madison Square Garden for the first time with a hard-earned split decision win over Spanish southpaw Sandor Martin (40-3, 13 KOs) in a 10-round final eliminator for the WBC crown. One judge had the bout 95-94 for Martin, while two others had it 96-93 and 97-92 for Lopez.   The former lightweight king was originally scheduled to fight Jose Pedraza, but a non-COVID-related illness forced the Puerto Rican contender to pull out of the fight. Martin immediately accepted the opportunity on three weeks’ notice.   Lopez initiated the bout in usual fashion by taking the center of the ring and trying to control the action with his speed and power. But at the end of the round, the two accidentally clashed heads, which evidently broke Martin’s nose and bothered him for the rest of the fight.   Martin’s quick footwork also began to cause problems in the opening minutes, especially as he used his lead right hand to lure Lopez in. In the second round, Martin was successful with that strategy and even dropped Lopez with a counter right hook.   Lopez then spent the rest of the fight trying to attack Martin and counter him when he committed to his punches. Martin was successful in preventing Lopez from positioning himself to land combinations, but at times he was also more concerned with evading shots than exchanging with Lopez.   As the fight ended, Lopez appeared to fight with more urgency while Martin seemed to think he had the fight won.   Lopez said, “It’s so hard to fight somebody like this when they’re running the whole time. Every time this guy committed, I countered and got him every time. He just ran the whole time. It’s OK, though. We got a lot to work on. But first off, I want to thank God for this. No matter what it was. I apologize to everybody tonight. This is not how we perform. But, listen, our dancer partner was running the whole time.   “Every time that this man wanted to commit, I was countering him and tagging him. That’s why he was running the whole time. I felt great overall. I knew he was tired. He didn’t want to commit. He was staying on his back foot and just running around the whole time. But it is what it is. This makes it look good. These guys are going to want to fight me now. More than ever. Now this is great. Now I can actually have a good fight.   “We would love to fight Josh Taylor. We would love to fight Regis Prograis. Or even a rematch with George Kambosos. My whole thing now is just staying focused and staying devoted.”   Martin said, “It was a surprise with the judges. I won this fight clearly. For one judge, I only won two rounds? Really? There were two knockdowns. The referee didn’t count one of the knockdowns. He missed all of his punches. That’s a masterclass of boxing. That’s a robbery. But that’s the sport of boxing.   “In the ring, I controlled all the action. The timing. The moments. In the ring, controlled everything with my will. Teofimo was overanxious. In the eighth round, his corner told him, ‘Hey, let’s do it. You could lose this fight.’   “It wasn’t just the broken nose. I only had three weeks of preparation. The broken nose was from an accidental headbutt. But I didn’t worry about this. But I knew that it would hurt every time he punched me there.  But he didn’t punch me. Every time he punched me, I said ‘Ow.’ But he touched me three times? Four times, maximum? Really? You win with this?”   Anderson Destroys Forrest in Two Rounds Heavyweight contender Jared “The Real Big Baby” Anderson (13-0, 13 KOs) retained his 100% knockout ratio by scoring a second-round TKO victory over Jerry Forrest (26-6-2, 20 KOs). Anderson captured the WBO International and WBC Silver USNBC titles with tonight’s dominant victory.    Anderson tried to box calmly, but a few hard left hands from Forrest, a southpaw, forced him to step up the action after the first 30 seconds of the opening round. Anderson then began letting his hands go at full force, nearly stopping Forrest when he had him on the ropes and landing a total of 54 out of 114 punches thrown within the first three minutes of the bout.   In the following round, Anderson continued his dominance and landed a hard right hand that forced the referee to stop the fight at 1:34 of the second round.    Anderson said, “Like my corner said, once I get hit it’s a whole different ballgame. I switch up everything. My mindset. How I fight. Everything. I try to come in cool and calm. I see everybody kind of was expecting him to go out early. I didn’t want that. I did want to get all the way warmed up. But once he did hit me, as ya’ll see, something flipped, and all I saw was red. The 114 punches came and we picked it up.   “I learned to keep my composure even earlier. It shouldn’t have to take me to get hit for me to be able to do that. But everything was alright once I started to adjust myself and get my feet up under me. I have been kind of off for a little second, but I definitely think I came back and made it better.   Zayas Ends the Year in Style against Salazar   Rising junior middleweight prospect Xander Zayas (15-0, 10 KOs) defeated Alexis Salazar (25-5, 10 KOs) via unanimous decision following eight rounds of action. Zayas retained his NABO 154-pound title and captured the NABF belt in the process.   There was no feel out process as Zayas began to land shots in the opening round. Salazar was able to connect in the following rounds, but Zayas was able to make the proper adjustments in order to allow his skills to dominate his opponent. The 20-year-old Puerto Rican prospect was especially successful in landing shots to the body, implementing a relentless attack to his opponents ribs in the final round in order to stop Salazar. Scores: 80-72 and 79-73 2x.   Zayas said, “Thank you to all my Puerto Rican fans who came out and are watching back home. This one is for you guys. Thank you for all the support and the love. I got to go back and see this fight. But they told me that I looked good. There were a couple moments where I let down my defense. But I give myself a nice B+.   “Little by little, we keep improving, keep getting better. But I feel like we can still work a little bit on everything. My distance. My punch output. My defense. My angles. Everything. I feel like we can improve on everything.” Davis Shines in Tough Test against Burgos    Olympic silver medalist Keyshawn Davis (7-0, 5 KOs) passed the toughest test of his career by soundly defeating three-time world title challenger Juan Carlos Burgos (35-7-3, 21 KOs) via eight-round unanimous decision. Davis controlled the fight from beginning to end with his speed, power, and superior skills. Scores: 80-72 3x.   Davis said, “I felt great, man. He’s definitely a tough veteran. I was definitely trying to stop him in there. I had him hurt a lot of times, but he’s a veteran and knows how to survive. That’s what he did tonight.   “I would give myself an A, but I ain’t stop him. So, I give myself a B+. I felt like I was conditioned throughout each and every round. There were rounds where I was picking it up and some rounds where I was slowing it down just to catch him with a big shot. I give myself a B+ tonight.” Light Heavyweights: Irish southpaw Joe Ward (8-1, 4 KOs) scored an eight-round unanimous decision win against Frederic Julan (12-2, 10 KOs). Scores: 78-74 and 79-73 2x. Heavyweights: Undefeated Polish prospect Damian Knyba (10-0, 6 KOs) dominated Emilio Salas (7-4-1, 3 KOs) en route to a TKO win at 1:56 of the second round.   Junior Welterweights: U.S. Olympic standout Tiger Johnson (7-0, 5 KOs) scored a fifth-round technical knockout victory over Mike Ohan Jr. (16-2, 9 KOs). Time of stoppage: 1:29.

(Featured Photo: Mikey Williams/Top Rank via Getty Images)

#HF #Teofimo Lopez #Sandor Martin #Top Rank Boxing #Madison Square Garden #ESPN