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#fun fact every single one of these is also queer! I didn’t even mean for it to happen it’s just how this month panned out lol
excavatinglizard · 3 months
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February Reads
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Hello you’re now getting a slightly chaotic rundown of all the books I read this month. Enjoy.
Gearbreakers by Zoe Hana Mikuta: YA sapphic dystopian mecha. The plot was chaotic and these children did murder without blinking an eye. The internal conflict was good though and it was an engaging read. I enjoyed the character interactions. Needed another round of edits though. Got me out of my reading slump.
Godslayers by Zoe Hana Mikuta: Gearbreakers 2, electric boogaloo. More chaos. Less interesting character interactions. Someone does brain surgery on herself??? Characters randomly killed off. Main characters would have major injuries that were never addressed again despite being interesting opportunities for character development.
What Moves the Dead by T. kingfisher: I rediscover novellas, this is horror that hit the things I’m most afraid of. Good writing and interesting. Some good ol’ pronoun fuckery as a bonus.
What Feasts at Night by T Kingfisher: (what moves the dead 2) more novellas!! Less scary for me specifically but still good. I’m attached to these characters now.
Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey: Queer librarian cowboys in a dystopian future. Another novella. Nothing to say here, it was fun but I wasn’t at all invested in the romance.
Phoenix Extravagant by Yoon Ha Lee: I REALLY liked Yoon Ha Lee’s first two Machineries of Empire books, but unfortunately between this and Revenant Gun, this just cemented that I don’t think I’ll be reading more of his stuff
Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas: Yes yes yes yes yes. Exactly the kind of weird, descriptive, dreamlike story I adore. Towards the end I was laughing a little as I saw what seemed to be Handmaids Tale influences (I can never escape it). A lot of people dislike this book but it really worked for me because I’m more than happy for things to never be explained. This isn’t a book about a mystery, it’s a book about the institutions we’ve built.
The Seep by Chana Porter: not what it says on the back. Got better when I just accepted that it was a story about grief, not alien takeover. There were some very interesting parts, some slightly goofy parts. I feel like it should have either been a little longer or really gone for novella style. I enjoyed it overall! I need a new genre now just called ‘body horror acceptance’. If you liked Annihilation you will appreciate this, though it’s much more character based.
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elliesgaymachete · 4 months
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I’ve now seen mean girls the movie the musical the movie a second time and it’s still just as good so here’s a full review
The Narrators bit was so much fun, the way they kept looking at the camera, breaking the fourth wall, and that one shot where they’re doing announcements and the name plate just reads “narrators”. The way the movie opens on them recording a video for social media in a garage and it ends in the same place with the garage door closing while they wave under it like the curtain on a broadway stage. Amazing.
The way it switches from fullscreen to widescreen just for songs where Regina controls the narrative like a fucking puppeteer. Like, at first I thought it was every song, but it’s only for Meet the Plastics, Apex Predator, Someone Gets Hurt, and World Burn. It’s SUCH a stylistic choice and I absolutely loved it
THE CONTINUOUS SHOT IN I’D RATHER BE ME!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!! IT’S SO COOL!!!!! I love me a good continuous shot and would have LOVED to be a fly on the wall on set that day
Also still on I’d rather be me, the way the huge iconic moment of regina getting hit by the bus is completely overshadowed by Janis getting her moment. Loved it.
There were also a lot more smaller continuous shots that were really cool!
The use of social media, especially since social media as we know it today didn’t really exist when the original movie came out. It was a big part of the broadway show and keeping that translated REALLY well to the big screen
I made a separate post about this but the fact that they actually made Janis canonically gay instead of it just being subtext or if you squint. It makes Janis a much more sympathetic character and makes her vendetta against Regina feel even more real.
Making Cady’s mom a single mom was a surprisingly nice change and Jenna Fisher was truly a delight in all of her scenes.
The tease when Tina Fey almost sang where do you belong 😂 (though I am still bummed they cut where do you belong 😔)
THE LINDSAY LOHAN JUMP SCARE
Avantika was a delight and her comedic timing + deadpan delivery as Karen was so perfect
Literally everything about renee rapp as regina was perfect, but especially at spring fling when she’s high on pain meds was so much fun
Someone Gets Hurt (Reprise) was absolutely phenomenal. I didn’t know it was gonna be in the movie and gave me chills the first time I heard it. Auli’i fucking crushed it
I also love how they took a homophobic insult from the original movie (“it’s not my fault you’re like in love with me”) and turned it into a new queer jam for the end credits song. Can a gay girl get an amen?
This movie is truly just a fun time
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cringefagblog · 2 years
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Mega NoCo post p.2
This is part 2 of a series of NoCo posts I’m making
Now as of where we left off Noah was eliminated from the island
And we get some queer coded moments with the two separately
Now Cody’s crush on Gwen is often talk about throughout the duration of the island and by often I mean he gives up on her after 2 episodes
Now I’m looking at it from the standpoint of Cody being a closeted gay teenager however I understand looking at him as a bisexual either way I’m fine with the results as long as my argument can be supported by it although I lean towards Cody being mlm
As mentioned Cody gives up on Gwen after 2 episodes and proceeds to for the rest of the season not really care or talk about her as he clearly gave up with only one thing even really mattering which is his support for her though that can be looked at through a friendship lens rather than a crush lens
On the contrary Noah still gets heavy queer coding such as him referring to Lindsay as “honey” in the 23rd episode which I mean come on do I really have to explain that?
In the final episode Noah teams up with Eva and Izzy but other than the fact that he’s friends with both of these women another stereotype of the gay man being friends with women there is a parallel with Owen having an all boys team and Izzy being with the girls….. aswell as Noah
Huh curious….
Well any who as I was saying about Noah being on a team with just girls he is clearly friends with there is yet again clear queer coding
And he does his infamous scream which …. Yeah if you still think there isn’t any queer coding this should be the end all of it it’s clearly a stereotype of the effeminate gay man
However it doesn’t end with island
Leading into action they famously enough with next to each other in every after math episode
I won’t get every single scene though I will share a couple
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(One of the rare moments Noah smiles)
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(Parallels between Gwen and Trent yet again)
Now interesting thing here we get the very first speaking interaction between the two
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And yup in the very first one Cody shoots Noah this look he’s never even given Gwen and does tease him although it’s clearly playful
And while everyone makes fun of him (Noah) he only defends himself when Cody interjects
This scene right here is where Cody is seen standing right next to Cody
I’m sure this was on “accident”….
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Aswell as
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The parallel here being that you’d think Cody is being placed here because Gwen is there however he is right next to Noah which I think propels the argument he’s faking it for Gwen and is really going for Noah
(Also pay attention to the arms and you can see he’s standing closer to Noah)
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Now yet again Cody looks at Noah like this however it’s almost subliminal how they put it in this scene plays right after Duncan and Courtney make out don’t believe me? watch the scene for yourself
And of course as the bus crashes this scene happens
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With some exact parallels between them and Duncan and Courtney notice how one partner sits up while the other lies down but both right next to each other
And of course
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Yeah it’s kind of hard to argue this was by accident the writers make parallels between Duncan and Courtney as-well as Harold and Lashawna
This of course is a very popular scene for good reason as it’s one of the hardest scenes to argue against I mean was Noah sleeping and just so happened to slip on to Cody’s lap? It was on purpose and considering the fact they didn’t care the very next morning does certain say something
Now let’s assume that even though this clearly wasn’t by accident and they clearly aren’t afraid about it
Let’s assume we were to think that
Here the next scene the two are seen in
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Yup the two are sitting next to each-other and we even get a closer look even after they would have supposedly done so by “accident” I think this proves they don’t care about doing what they did at the bus and jeez I know you can argue they are still just friends but it’s really hard to do that with this
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Noah and Cody yet again sit next from each other and while you can’t see it here couples are sitting next to each-other such as Courtney and Duncan
And that was part.2 and part.3 will be coming out later today
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londonspirit · 2 years
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Oh look, ramblings again!
SPOILERS for Thor: Love and Thunder AHEAD!!! Do NOT read if you haven’t seen the movie yet (unless you don’t care about spoilers!)
Last chance to back out... no? Good, happy reading!
First of: it should be mandatory to watch a Taika film at least TWICE before being allowed to form an opinion. There’s always way too much going on to catch it all on one viewing! 
That includes myself too. 
After my first viewing on Thursday I came out of TLAT with mixed feelings. It felt chaotic and a tad overstuffed, not long enough to squeeze everything in. 
Overall I liked it tho, there were bits and pieces that I adored (and yes, the goats are fucking hilarious!!!), but I KNEW I had to see it a second time to form a proper opinion. 
(It also didn’t help that the face of the first God that got killed looked soo familiar but I couldn't really sort him! It took me two days to finally find out why - the Taika!Bingo had already been employed. Adorable man can’t stop casting friends for his films *hehe* But you do NOT expect a vampire in a Marvel movie so… (Jonny Brugh aka Deacon from WWDITS, for those curious.) 
I loved the cameos even though they were very short but it’s always nice to see familiar faces popping up here and there. 
I screamed at the post credit scene because BRETT FUCKING GOLDSTEIN!!!! My Ted Lasso loving heart was in AWE and in shock and I might have yelled at the poor man on Twitter!) I cannot wait to see where they’re going with him - that’s going to be amazing!! 
I'm also utterly amazed and slightly shocked that T managed to get as much queer content in it as he dared. (and so far I do NOT see the film being banned in those who banned Lightyear and MOM for much less!!) But then again (as he does) it’s both soo in your face and yet subtle enough to be overlooked, I guess. 
Although, he basically put a GAY SEX SCENE into it without anyone batting an eyelid. Sure, it’s between two non-humans but still… maybe that doesn’t count. I don’t know. I just love it. 
(and yes, it took me a few hours and the internet’s help to lose my mind over the fact that his partner's name is DWAYNE!!! I mean, WTF?!?!?! I'm curious whether DJ knows about it, and what he’s thinking (here's hope somebody asks him at SDCC, I NEED to know this!!)). 
Anyhow, I felt a tad sad that I didn’t immediately loved it. It was good, it was fun but it lacked…something?! 
So naturally I went again yesterday, properly rested this time with the intention of just letting it play out and NOT pay special attention to my darling Korg *hehe* 
And it helped - a LOT!!! 
I loved it. 
I loved how he intersected the funny with the heartfelt scenes (still think some could’ve been a tad longer for more impact). 
I loved that he didn’t shy away from hitting you hard with death and illness to then lighten it with screaming goats and silly heart eyes and awkward reunions. But there’s love in every single moment: love for family and partners, love for your home and the place that had become home, love for friends and found family. There’s heartache about losing everything and there’s hope for a future that may not be as terrible as one thought. 
It’s beautifully quirky and lighthearted yet very profound and underneath it all there’s everything that’s important in life! 
So yeah… a very typical Taika Waititi film. NOT a typical Marvel film so I guess that’s where the hate of some for it comes from. 
But that the beauty of Taika’s work: you have to pay attention, you have to soak it up to get it. You have to look closer to realize how precious the life is you have, no matter how dark it seems. 
I also liked (even though it may sound weird) that Jane died in the end. But she died doing what she loved, she died for the man she loved (and I’m pretty damn sure, had it been the other way around, Thor would have sacrificed himself for her as well). I liked that she said it: what’s the point of living if you suffer in a hospital bed, dying on your own anyways, having loved ones seeing you  like that, or going out with a bang, saving the world and LIVING until the very end! I mean, WOAH, that’s one hell of a statement. (Yes, of course I cried!) 
I also loved that for once the villain in the end changed his mind. I mean, how often does that happen??? I loved that he eventually saw that his revenge only caused heartache and pain. So giving his daughter over to the ‘enemy’ to have her being raised by him… well damn, that's quite something. 
And yes, naturally I adored Dad!Thor and I'm very curious how they’re going ahead with that! 
Do I still think it could’ve been a tad longer to give us a bit more Valkyrie? YES! 
Or that I would’ve loved to see those cut appearances everyone was talking about? Absolutely.
(I do NOT need to have EVERYTHING explained to me, like how did Jane get to Asgard or other things that happened off screen - as the man so nicely stated once or twice, sometimes you just have to think for yourself and connect the damn dots!)
But in the end, it was just about the right length, it wasn’t the least bit boring (not even in the first time round), it was entertaining as hell and only the second viewing showed me how much love the man put into it. 
Yes, I will want to see all the cut things and the deleted scenes, I wanna know how that 4 hour cut would’ve looked like. But that's mostly because I'm dying to know what his brain cooked up in the very first place!!! 
But I also respect the fact that we might never see that. (I want all the bloopers tho!!!) 
So yeah, I can’t wait to watch it again, maybe once more in the cinema but definitely at home, with a pause button so I can appreciate all the little things (I LOVED how excited he got when some reporter mentioned that the Kronan God was sitting on a throne of scissors - I missed that the first time around and squealed at the second because THAT’s the kind of thing I expect from him, small things that are not important but still makes his movies so unique and special!!) 
I also can’t wait to search for all the kids: I did spy Matewa but not TK, so that’s definitely a fun thing to do once I have that pause button. 
So yeah, these are my ramblings. I’m once again very much amazed with this incredible man and his brains, and I hope he doesn’t EVER get encouraged by all the asshole things I keep seeing in his tags - I hope he never reads them (I totally understand why he’s not on Twitter anymore and it takes everything I have to not lash out at some of those hating on him for absolutely no reason. Critique, totally fair, but some of that shit is pure, mean hatred, based on nothing and tagging him with that is just a NO GO. But I know better so I sit on my hands and hope he takes solace in the box office numbers and the fact that his visions are just not for everyone!) 
*I* just fell deeper in love with his work, his incredible brain and his way of looking at the world and translating that into compelling movies that help make the real world that bit better! And I’m sooo looking forward what he’ll do next!
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baya-ni · 3 years
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For all its faults, I don’t think that Sk8 could’ve had a more perfect ending for Reki and Langa. It’s not exactly groundbreaking for the sports anime genre or anything, but it is satisfying.
We all know how Langa’s monologue in the final scene parallels Reki’s monologue in the first episode. We all know that when Reki says, “Don’t go easy on me, okay?” he’s successfully risen above his feelings of inadequacy, and that Langa’s line of “You’d better not, either,” shows how much he’s always considered Reki as an equal.
But I wanna talk about the significance that their beef against one another takes place between just the two of them.
Reki has had to learn the true importance of skating, why he ever got started in the first place: it’s fun. It’s not about winning or losing so much as it is about the slow process of learning, the satisfaction of self improvement, and skating as a means of finding community and building meaningful relationships with others. So it’s significant that Reki’s final beef of the season is with Langa, the very person who was the source of all his anxiety and forced Reki to have to relearn why skating was important to him in the first place.
But with this final beef, there is nothing at stake, no audience, just two boyfriends skating together for the pure fun of it.
On the other hand, Langa has had to relearn how to basically live again, how to find love and meaning in life after experiencing mind-numbing grief over the death of his father. A big part of that journey was learning how to differentiate between his love for Reki and the competitive excitement he feels when skating with ADAM, and how to give priority to one over the other. And so the fact that his final beef is without an audience is, again, really significant. This race is a one-on-one with Reki, the person he cherishes most, and with no one else.
So essentially, Reki and Langa’s individual journeys could have only led them here. To each other.
I also really love the ambiguity of the end, and by ambiguity I mean that we don’t know who wins or loses the final beef. On one hand, it’s because the outcome doesn’t matter, again emphasizing what Reki has had to learn this season, that it’s the people we skate with that matters more than winning or losing.
On the other hand, the ending touches on a really important concept about love and relationships. I was talking to my wife @floresitass after the finale (whose  knowledge of Sk8 is almost entirely comprised of the secondhand plot/character info they get from my weekly infodumping) so credit to them for this insight. But the fact that no one, not even us the viewers, are privy to what’s basically the most intimate act shared between Reki and Langa, hits on the idea that, “the purest acts of love are not for the consumption of others.”
@floresitass​ and I generally exist as visibly queer people, but “my loving is for me and my lover” (their words), something that the final scene between Reki and Langa embodies really accurately, intentional or not on the part of the creators. Their race is for no one else but them.
I’m not disappointed that Reki and Langa didn’t kiss or hold hands or anything. Because the show has made it explicitly clear that their love language is not That. Instead, the show builds up this metaphor that “Skating is a ritual of love,” and it bleeds into every single relationship in the show. The act of skating is the primary means by which the relationships between characters are developed.
The show’s main relationship, therefore, adheres to this metaphor most strongly, and any major displays of affection outside of that context (ie kissing) would, in my opinion, come across more as something shoehorned in to please Western viewers rather than a sincere act of shared love.
Expressions of love are unique to each person and each couple. Apparently for Reki and Langa, a big part of the way they express their love for one another is through skateboarding. By conventional standards of romance, it’s odd, that’s for sure. But it’s theirs. They made it.
And what is love, if not the act of invention?
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pyroclastic727 · 4 years
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Owl House said fuck capitalism
So this episode was interesting. Lilith pretty much killed her sister. Why the fuck would she do that?
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Even more interesting: why is Belos like that? How did Hooty put his head through one of those guards? Who the fuck is the Titan, and why does everyone like him? And how are these all tied together?
This episode was a metaphor for capitalism
...and another delicious step towards radicalizing the youth into dismantling this fucked-up neo-feudal system.
We’ll start with Belos. 
Emperor Belos is a weird name, don’t you think? We all thought it was spelled “Bellows,” but it wasn’t. In fact, it’s five letters, starts with Be, ends with os, and describes a megalomaniac emperor that restricts people’s freedom in order to accumulate wealth for himself.
Sound familiar?
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Emperor Bezos Belos created capitalism. He saw the beauty of magic and decided to make himself the most powerful.
Belos created a system that destroys the masses and boosts his power.
 I’m dipping into fan theory a little, because the fan theory fits. We know that people get branded with coven magic that makes it so they can only specialize in one area. We know that Belos is the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles. We know that the excess magic, magic created by restrictions, has to go somewhere.
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It’s the same system that many viewers see all the time. A job takes up all your day and tires you for the night, so you can only do one skill for the rest of your life. Jeff Bezos is the most powerful man in the United States. Excess money, money taken by restrictions, has to go somewhere.
The magic goes to Belos, like how the money goes to Bezos. Belos created capitalism, and he won it.
The guards aren’t real. 
Look, we’ve never seen their faces. They’re all the same. Why would you work so hard to get to the top, just to become a nameless, faceless killing machine?
Oh, also Hooty stuck his face through one. There is nothing under the armor.
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Why? Well, it’s the same reason you see all those celebrities going around flaunting their wealth and bragging about how hard they worked. Like all those songs about how they grind every day and work harder than everyone else while you’re out clubbing, and that makes them dope. And then you take a closer look at them and see that they had a small loan of a million dollars fueling them, or an entire talent agency behind them, or their dad was a famous country star in the 80′s. 
They’re fake. They’re hollow. They’re a ploy created by the capitalist emperor to try to delude you into working harder. 
Let me put this into perspective. I guarantee that every single one of you has heard stuff like this: “Hard work makes you successful.” “I put in the work, and that’s why I’m successful.” “If you work hard enough, then you can be as successful as Mark Zuckerberg.” 
And unless you’re a robot or really lucky, I’m sure all of you have failed at this. Maybe they told you that hard work would make you good at math, so you spent 22 hours a week working on calculus, only to pass it by 3 percentage points and have it destroy your perfect 4.0 GPA. Maybe they told you that if you talked to people enough, then you would make friends, so you spent a lot of time talking to people, only to end up lonely and friendless. Maybe they told you that if you did well in school, you would get a good job, so you spent all your time working hard to be a good student, and then ended up in a soulless, dead-end job.
The guards are there to delude you. Look, who really gains from you being productive? The answer is the ruling class, the CEOs, the government, the bourgeoisie. It has always been that. All you get from working is a paycheck that lets you survive. They get a paycheck that lets them get rich. Just like Belos gets the magic and productivity of the specialized coven witches.
The guards are there to trick you. The truth is that nobody can join the Emperor’s Coven. It’s just there to make you think that hard work will make you successful. Then you spend your entire life working hard, trying to prove to the person in charge that you’re worthwhile. You give your whole life to the Coven, and they give you nothing. 
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Magic is supposed to be something you pursue for fun. Being skilled at things, being good at something beautiful...that’s supposed to be something you do because you want to. But they took that and made it into a source of productivity. It doesn’t matter if you make good content. All people fucking care about is if you upload the day of premiere, if you make a lot of content quickly, if you maintain a million different conversations with strangers who expect you to be the most interesting person in the room. They don’t care how it hurts you. They don’t care how you crack from the stress. How you cry when you think no one can see you, and then you check your phone and someone can see you, someone did see you, and you have to put on your face and be the charming, magnetic person they want you to be. (oh by the way that’s why I wasn’t online much last week)
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And it ruins it. Suddenly you can’t watch The Owl House without being stressed. You can’t make any content. You can’t make spells as powerfully as you want to. Your passion is replaced by perfectionism and insecurity, a voice telling you to keep being the best at what you do, or else they’ll forget you and let you die.
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There’s also the Titan. 
So nobody has mentioned him before, because in addition to the Boiling Isles being a hellscape full of witchcraft and queerness, it’s also full of atheists. 
But suddenly we have people saying all this shit about him? Shit like, he gave witches the gift of magic, and then they learned to use it in a civilized manner, since being uncivilized was disrespectful?
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I mean, first off, that’s fucking wrong. The island gives people magic. The island, which just so happened to be shaped like a titan-sized human. But the island/titan gives everyone all types of magic. Hell, even Luz gets to use magic, and she’s human. 
It sounds really fucking familiar. (tw for discussion of homophobia and colonialism and misogyny). It sounds like when the news is on and they show some Tr*mp supporter talking about how fetuses have more rights than people and it is their holy duty to take away a woman’s control over her body and force her through unbearable pain and into an 18-year commitment she didn’t want to make. It sounds like all the times people tried to say homosexuality should be illegal, citing a single line in a book written two thousand years ago and heavily edited by a European king. It sounds like all the times people said God wanted them to conquer, to own the entire earth, to force the other races into pain to support them.
This is that bullshit thing people do where they commit awful sins and justify it by citing the will of God. 
Or, it’s the Coven using religion as an excuse for evil.
Look, the Emperor’s Coven is clearly colonizer-coded. Saying that people’s original form of magic was wild (and showing a picture with the same joyous, rowdy energy of an 18th or 19th -century Black or indigenous party), and that it was God’s will for them to be “civilized?” Sounds like that thing that powerful white people did where they went and murdered people and forced them into their twisted capitalist system. God, gold, and glory, is what they said, because history books just love to omit the gore.
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Lilith is passing the abuse cycle along. 
You know, like a good little colonizer. God I fucking hate her. She’s a MILF, in the sense that she’s a Mother I’d Like to Fling off a cliff. 
Ah, enough screaming about how much I want to drown Lilith in a tub of Hooty’s mucus. Let’s go into why I want to do that, and how she took the evils of capitalism and just...adopted those.
So, Lilith is sick and twisted for what she did to her sister. But, uhh, that’s the point. You see, there are so many other people out there like Lilith who would do the exact same thing, if given the chance. These are the people who do mean things when the teacher isn’t looking, and then act nice and try to frame you. These are the people who will hate you if you’re better than them. These are people who would do anything to bring you down, if you dare outperform them.
It’s greed, my friends. The mental illness that capitalism blesses us all with.
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Lilith herself said it: she dedicated her entire life to the Coven. What she wanted was to be the best. And she almost was...except for her own sister. Someone who lived with her, annoyed her at home, bested her at school. Someone she could never beat, no matter how hard she worked. And her sister was younger than her, too! How insulting was that? Lilith wanted to be the best, and someone in her exact situation did better than her.
Lilith was insecure. And it consumed her.
But why? Why does insecurity consume her? I mean, no one can be motivated by insecurity forever. Well, not unless someone conditions it into you.
The lovely thing about the capitalist system is the morals it teaches you. Things like: “You’re only useful if you’re the best.” “Being school smart makes you smart, while being social smart or sports smart or creative smart or fandom smart is worthless.” “Your worth can be quantified by numbers and is based off arbitrary measures like your income or your grades.” Things that can and will drive us crazy if we let ourselves believe them.
And it did drive Lilith crazy. She got so twisted by a society that said being good at magic is her only worth. Look, Lilith used to be good at things, probably. She was good at sports. At times, she slips up and does an okay job of being Eda’s sister. She has a powerful presence when she’s in a room. And she’s wicked good at manipulating people. 
But that didn’t matter. Lilith bought into the lies. She let herself believe that magical skill was the only way to measure her worth. And since she needed to be the best, she hurt Eda for it.
The beautiful thing is, Eda didn’t buy that. "It’s my power, kid. And before you showed up, I spent my whole life wasting it.” Is what Eda said, as she used up the last of her power, the last of her life, to save Luz. In her final moments, she proved that she’s not like them. She’s stronger than them.
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None of this matters. Not magical prowess. Not the hierarchy. Not the promise of joining the Coven and having more power than anyone else.
The only thing that matters to Eda is her family. Her real family. Her Luz, King, and Hooty. And by extension, Willow, Gus, and Amity. Those are Eda’s real reason for fighting, for dying: to protect them. Look, there’s no way she would’ve come out of that fight alive. She has a family, and her love for them is stronger than greed or jealousy or capitalism. 
Lilith never understood that. She thought the water of the womb was thicker than the blood of the covenant. Or, that the water of the womb and the blood of the covenant are stronger than the bonds of found family. She thought it didn’t matter if Eda loved, her, only if the Emperor loved her. Fucking bitch.
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And now, a little something to worry about, before we go. Amity Blight. The girl who wanted to join the Emperor’s Coven more than anything, who dedicated her whole life to doing well in school, to being the best, to being perfect.
And then she met Luz. She fell for Luz. Now she’s in a tricky place, where habit and conditioning want her to join the Emperor’s Coven, but her heart wants her to do the impossible and destroy capitalism.
She wasn’t in this episode. Funny that being injured and unable to work ended up saving her from watching her future mother-in-law die. So she bought some time.
But Luz’s true mom is dead. This is the second mom she has lost, and she’s only fourteen. As powerful as King and Hooty are, Luz needs Amity. Luz needs Amity to support her and help her get back her mom.
So Amity has to make a choice. Fear and insecurity, or love and a high chance of death? 
She’ll probably choose death. Because that’s the message that this family-friendly show is giving us kids. Fuck capitalism. All you need in life is to do what makes you happy and be with the ones you love.
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hualian-blessing · 3 years
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why mcyttwt does not think some (if not most) of the time when it comes to mcc
if i post this in twitter, i’d surely get hated upon but someones gotta have to say this one day. also this does not target to mcytblr!!! this rant is more of towards mcyttwt!!!
remember how mcyt was so chill before all of this shit? how we would watch our favorite minecraters when the community was so small? or how mcc was an event that both ccs and fans can have some fun and entertainment once per month? and that was only last year too. now look at the new generation of mcyt fans and see why some of the old fans dont really associate the new ones.
as a fan of the old gen mcytbers like DanTDM, SkyDoesMinecraft, Aphmau and CaptainSparklez. heck im a fan of pewds’ minecraft series before dream or tommy or ranboo or the new gen of mcyt ccs blew up (a year before them if im correct), and we dont see drama or bad shit all the time when it comes to their content.
now compare that to the new gen where every single fucking day, a bored fan or anti would post shit drama in twitter where some of the people from twitter moved to tumblr just to not get a headache from the batshit craziness mcyttwt brought forth. and it just snapped more when the mccp21 rolled in.
heres some of my takes about the mccp21 issue:
1) “there’s a lack of representation of lgbtq+ in the teams!!!”
heres something to tell yall about that. scott doesnt have a fucking choice. scott smajor has told time and time again, WEEKS before the announcement of teams, that there are certain requirements and limitations to mccp21 thus there will be difficulty in choosing whos entering or whos not. limitations and requirements such as it will be streamed on youtube or how streamers with twitch contracts aren’t allowed to stream or (god bless scott’s good heart) scott not allowing some of the lgbtq+ streamers in joining the special event due to wanting them to have a chance to stream and experience their first mcc (so to those who said that ranboo should have been in mccp21, shut up ‘cuz scott wanted genderman to have fun streaming his first mcc but cant due to ranboo being a well-known twitch streamer). to those who complained that ant and velvet should be in the mcc, stop being selfish and do some actual research on why scott didn’t include them. a simple question to those two’s fans would answer that they can’t make it due to them camping for a week which within those days is the mccp21. they’re having time to themselves, not wasting it on a minecraft championship. 
take in the consideration that, oh i dont know, not a lot of lgbtq+ ccs applied to the event? its not a free invite championship (in fact, mcc has always been like that), it’s an applied with the sufficient and correct requirements kind of event. the artist who created the icons from the previous mcc for the teams said that scott let in some of the new ccs in last minutes due to lack of applicants not meeting the requirements thus not having custom artworks for the teams if they want to announce the teams in time.
2.) “there’s no lesbians or trans in the teams >:(((”
sadly enough, there’s not much of the players from the lgbtq+ community but to say there’s no trans people in mccp21 is utterly false. by definition, trans mean  denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. other genders such as non-binary, genderfluid, androgyne, bigender, gender expansive all fall under trans. you define yourself with the gender you personally chose and comfy with from you birth gender. so saying there’s no trans in the teams when there are players from the event like eret or sqaishey who are nb and genderfluid respectively are there to also represent not only the sexuality but also the gender identity of others??? like c’mon, please make sense mcyttwt. 
also, while its sad to not see lesbians, please know that lgbtq+ doesn’t strictly be defined by lesbians. ffs, lgbtq+ literally means Lesbians Gays Bisexuals Transgenders and Questioning (or Queer but im not too sure about that one) which means that there are still other representatives for the community in the event.
3) “technoblade is in the event?!!! WHAT THE FUCK, HES A HOMOPHOBE/LESBIPHOBE-”
utter clowns, toxic twitter users are. do you really think that scott smajor, an openly gay man, would let a supposed “homophobe/lesbiphobe” in an event that focuses in supporting the lgbtq+ community? do you hear yourself? do you even do research where the joke he made was when he was the same age as me and it was based on a historical article back in WW2? or how he passionately supports the community especially the lesbians because a lesbian couple complimented him to which kickstart his confidence? the man willingly went to this mcc event despite being flamed a lot in twitter because he (and everyone) knows that his chat, his fans and supporters, are literal millionaires. if you saw a stream from foolish where he auctioned canonical characters for funs, a techno fan donated thousand of dollars to get technoblade, and that’s only one fan, now imagine a hundreds of thousands of them.
like it or not, technoblade has always been open about his support to the community, especially that majority of his fanbase are from the same community that mcyttwt allegedly swore that technoblade hates.
4) “since this mccp21 is pointless because theres no dteam, quackity, punz or (insert cc name), let’s have a watch party of the previous mccs to spite mccp21!!!” “let’s hope (insert cc name) stream on the 26th so mccp21 doesnt have the same amount of viewership like before!!!” “where are (insert cc name)??? gosh, this mcc is so boring without them!!!”
shut up shut up shut up shut up shut the actual fuck up. are you really seriously hearing yourself? are you willing and proudly boycotting a once in a year special event that is seriously needed by the lgbtq+ community? are you that cruel and selfish to sacrifice a project that helped tons of people just for your sick entertainment and desires? are you that evil to stop others from enjoying and donating to the trevor project? are you that inconsiderate of other ccs that aren’t part of dsmp and calling them boring? and for what? because your favorite cishet streamer isn’t there? oh booofuckinghoo! you’re so fucking petty to even post about this kind of tweets in public.
(edit: did yall honestly thought that without your favorite streamers that the mcc is not worth watching because they aren't there? well let me tell you, im a ranboo fan. ive watched him when he first entered the dsmp and watched him spinning in his unicorn chair for 5 minutes. the boo community waited for so many months for genderman to join mcc yet we didn't even do that kind of disgusting action and behavior every time he isn't in mcc. 8 months. that's how long ive watched him. ive waited 8 months for him to be in the event yet i still watch other povs like tommy's, puffy's, wilbur's, and etc., because it's fun and entertaining to watch them despite the beloved not participating in the games.
if you're that spoiled to not even watch mcc because (insert cc whose not part of mccp21 name here) isn't part of the roster then you most likely have a one dimensional humor because there will always be someone more funny and entertaining than them. i like dsmp don't get me wrong, but i found parrot's school smp funnier than dsmp yet you don't see me insulting both series, do you? learn to keep yourself if you're calling ccs as boring or dull or not entertaining enough due to not having the same big platform as the dsmp members.)
you don’t deserve to call yourself a fan if you’re doing this kinds of actions. in fact, people like you should be kicked out from the mcyt community because your kind of people are the reason why we look so bad from the outside. your toxic and self-entitled to these content creators are the reason why famous ccs like sbi, purpled, tubbo and almost ranboo left twitter/implied strict rules to their subtwts. you drove out an entire friend group that tons of fans found comfort in from the platform and you still have the audacity to this kind of shit? honestly, just leave before you give me a headache.
what im sayin’ is that mcyttwt is one of the worst, if not THE worst, subtwts out of the other subtwts in twitter. having no actual research or evidences or spreading false information is common in twitter where you would have to take what they said with a micro size grain of salt. mcyttwt already ruined the fun and spirit of mcc during its comeback in mcc14 due to the glitch and beta testing shit (ey i still stand for the ranboo beta testing but i know that will be worthless since theres hints of him joining soon in mcc15). if you’re still in mcyttwt, i suggest to get out of there while you still can. we’ll never know if there’s a bigger shitstorm than this in the mcyttwt that may happen in the future.
edit! hi bella again, ive been told by a polite and cool user that not all people from mcyttwt are toxic and/or cruel. im going to clear something up here. ive written this during the heat of the announcement of mccp21 teams. so there's a lot of complains and/or entitled people in the app (you can even see it in my previous post too if you want evidences!) that gave off mostly negative vibes towards the event.
ive seen the cool ones who actually took the consideration for scott's side and the criticism of the lack of representation of other communities within the lgbtq+ umbrella (ive even share some parts of it above so im also a bit upset to the lack of numbers in the community). and some of them are correct about recruiting lgbtq+ creators in youtube but! like i said, it's an applied event and not invitational one, so its up to that content creator if they want to join or not. the amount of cishet in the roster are just those who want to support the cause and/or backups/stand-ins in case scott and noxcrew can't find enough ccs in time!
just wanna clear this up because mcyttwt these days are covered by really cringe fans (ive noticed a pattern of them mostly new ones but there are still awesome new fans (like my irl friend who just joined this year) within the community) that covered the good ones where they enjoy, have fun and share some neat ideas and thoughts to the community within the platform!
when i said to get out of the mcyttwt while you still can, i meant to get out of there to avoid drama (that is really small contrast those who really need to address the issue) and take a break from it. it's still your choice if you want to be surround by it or not or if you want to come back to the app. all im saying is to buckle up for the shitstorm cuz this is not the last time that the twitter side of mcyt will cause negativity to the community.
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bookofmirth · 3 years
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ok so this might come off as a bit rambly so please bear with me lol
i've noticed that the acotar fandom has this incessant need to be right when it comes to canon and it really sucks out the funness of fandom. shipping is supposed to be fun but when it comes to this fandom, it's almost like a competition to see who will be more right when the books come out. engaging with theories/predictions about characters and the plot is supposed to be exciting but when it comes to this fandom, some of the theories/predictions are problematic at worst and nonsensical at best. like how can you say with your full chest that you're so confident about where the series is heading in the future because of this or that theory when you're stuck in the past and refuse to see what all of the text is telling you in the present. it doesn't make sense. the selective reading is so strong that it has me looking sideways sometimes lol
i guess my question is why do you think the fandom is so divided when it comes to ships right now? i've seen people say this wasn't the case for feysand and nessian, so what's the difference here?
Oh boy Brielle, I have some thoughts on this. It's complex.
To be clear, I am not saying that this applies to literally every single person who ships a certain way. This is a commentary on the fandom as a whole, and there are always exceptions.
This got really, really long, so I'm putting it under the cut.
I think that one of the main draws of this series, and of sjm's writing in general, is her ships. I think that people get very, very attached to their ships.
I also think that sjm does NOT fully think through some of the choices that she makes when writing. See: the way that she takes from all these different cultures and mashes them together, which could be seen as disrespectful of their origin. She has retconned things, like Mor being queer and Lucien being Helion's son. I think that she thoroughly thinks about some of the aspects of her books, like Rhys's reaction to sleeping with Feyre for the first time, but then really half-asses other aspects of her books, like Mor coming out.
Then, we have your good old misogyny and homophobia - people in the fandom don't like Mor because she hurt the poor bat boy's feelings when she didn't sleep with him, and they don't have a mating bond, but she's never really told Azriel "no", and so every single moment of pain that Azriel has felt in 500 years is Morrigan's fault. And Mor's experience as a closeted queer woman who feels unsafe around the people she should trust the most is completely disregarded by the fandom.
Finally, I think that a combination of these factors has created the monster we know as e*riel, and that the fandom is perpetuating its own mythology.
What all of this comes down to, and the real reason I think that the fandom is behaving this way right now, is that e*riel is dead. It's never happened, it's not going to happen, but because we don't have the clear closure we got with moriel (where people would be accused of homophobia for continuing to ship it), people are still trying to figure out any possible way for e*riel to become canon, though every single sign points to it being a non-issue.
This weird thing where people have to be "right" all the time, and the way that "right" = "canon" is a relatively new development. It's as if everyone in this fandom forgot that they are in fact in a fandom, which inherently diverges from canon.
However, I think that the need to cling to canon is because the alternative would be to admit defeat and say "well, even if it doesn't happen I will still ship e*riel, it's fine, I will live with that." But they don't want to do that. In response, they look at canon so hard that they are reading the white space between the letters to create their theories, which as you noted as largely nonsensical and often fail to take into account who the characters are as individuals, how they are connected to other characters, and why it would or wouldn't be appropriate for them to be involved in various plots.
People could say, as eluciens having been saying since day one, "I really ship this thing but I can see that it might not become canon". But they don't say that. They literally refuse to see any other possibility than e*riel becoming canon.
You pointed out that people are stuck in the past - absolutely. The number of reimaginings I have seen of scenes where either Azriel or Elain has literally zero to do with the scene, but people try to shove one or both of them in there. And this from books ago. People are stuck on the Truthteller scene, and refuse to acknowledge that neither of them have acted on their feelings, whatever those might be, for years. And they ignore the fact that once Elain and Az do act, it goes horribly wrong.
Here are the facts as of right now:
ACOSF is the most recent book. In that book, sans extra chapter, those two had no interaction other than looking at one another.
If we include his POV, then he said it was wrong, we got confirmation that nothing has ever happened between them, she returned his necklace. Elain was aroused, but that does not mean she was ready to even have sex. "Yes" to a kiss is not "yes" to every single sexual act Az can think of. They parted on awkward, bad terms after a scene in which it seemed like they were about to start something. Yikes. Unlike Wings and Embers, they did not end that chapter still thinking of one another. After they part ways, the omniscient narrator does not mention Elain, or Az thinking about Elain, again.
His POV occurs months before the end of the book. They do not interact after that.
Elain has a mate she has not rejected, nor accepted.
So anyway, your question was why are people like this. lol. I think the fandom created a monster, and that monster is clinging to life. It can't accept the idea of morphing into a non-canon ship, though it never was canon in the first place. It had just convinced itself that it was.
There are other aspects to this, that have to do with gwynriel and elucien.
Gwynriel is a new ship, it's almost guaranteed to happen, people are super excited to ship it and give Gwyn all their love. I'm sure they would rather create content for that ship than argue about whether or not it's going to be canon, but they are in constant defense mode. Some people honestly didn't like e*riel before because they don't like Elain, or because they don't like Azriel, and those are valid reasons for not liking it. Why people ship gwynriel doesn't matter. The tone of the discussion is, unfortunately, being shaped elsewhere, which I will mention below.
Elucien is an old ship, older than e*riel. I can speak from this perspective - personally, I have been holding my tongue for 4.5 years. I have been letting people live, and just talking about the things I like. Then when acosf came out, it was like I could finally say all the things I had been thinking about Azriel, because I now had proof that the things I thought about his character (and because of that, about e*riel) now had solid canon foundation. This is 4.5 years of me holding in a lot of shit and finally being able to say it. Sometimes yes, I might take joy in having been right.
I think that a few people are clinging to canon, and that sets the tone for the discourse in the fandom. Someone says "according to page whatever, blah blah blah" and people feel the need to respond, and then it turns into and "I'm right" contest instead of... a fandom... A lot of us like debating. To me, it's fun. But when Person A starts a conversation that's about canon and it actually ignores canon, it's hard to let that conversation go by and just keep creating whatever we want to create. Instead, we respond, and so the tone of the conversation is shaped by what Person A decided to say.
I also think that there is a lack of distinction between theories (what will happen in the future) and meta (analysis of what we have now).
There is also a lack of "I" statements. Opinions are being stated as fact.
idk if there is a way to make it better, other than to just go back to ignoring one another. This whole situation makes me want to throw out every single canon ship I like and create exclusively non-canon content, just for spite. Except I really like doing meta, and so I don't want to. I guess for my point, I'll just keep doing meta, keep creating different content, and keep reminding people that they aren't here to continue perpetuating canon, but to play with it.
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thessalian · 2 years
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Thess vs Brave New World
Every now and then, I try to pick up Brave New World and give it a re-read. And every time, I have to put it down pretty quickly. Honestly, I’m never sure which is worse - Brave New World’s ... what I can only call pseudo-utopian dystopia and 1984′s straight-up hategasm hellscape. Thing is ... see, I had this ex...
(Ah, and now we get into the ex stories. That’s always fun.)
So I had this ex, and he was ... erm ... put it this way: when he and I finally broke up, an awful lot of our mutual friends (who’d known him way longer than me) went, “Yeah, I did wonder what the fuck you saw in him”. One of this whole things was being really ... anti-emotional. Not unemotional (well, that too, kinda), but he was very much against the whole concept of getting emotional at all. He’d always say things like how my getting passionate about a subject meant I had automatically lost the argument because “you can only really win an argument with rationality and reason, and you can’t have those when you’re all worked up”. He said that caring about what was going on in the world was “unhealthy” for me, because caring stressed me out. Effectively, the fact that I got passionate about anything lowered my intelligence, in his eyes.
Of course, he also didn’t really seem to get ... well, anything that wasn’t straight-up logic. Take for instance food. I used to cook all my best dishes for him and take him to nice places to eat and he just wasn’t interested. In fact, he actively scorned any food that took more than one utensil to eat and more than three chews to swallow. He’d tell me that if he could just take a pill that gave him all the calories and nutrients he needed for any given day, he’d be happy. Food was not an experience for him; it was a chore.
But what does this have to do with Brave New World, I hear you ask? Well, at one point midway through our ill-starred relationship, he was watching my reading habits trying to logic out what I liked to read. (He finally broke down and ... well, exasperatedly asked, “Look, I’ve watched you for months and you read books from so many genres that I can’t figure it out; what do you like to read?!?”, like my tastes could and in fact should be pinned to a single genre. I just told him that “Primary criteria is ‘does it have words?’; I go from there”.) And somewhere in that time, I was in a ‘classic speculative fiction’ sort of groove and was midway through Brave New World. He said he liked that one ... and then he said something I have never forgotten and will never fail to make me feel really uneasy:
“I never really saw the problem with that society, though. I mean, you’d be programmed not to worry about anything and to be happy in your place; I’d actually really like to live in that world”.
I think I started backing away from him at that point, emotionally speaking. Because that’s fucking terrifying. I mean, Huxley’s society is oversimplified at best. There’s no room for queer people at all, and that means either they made not to be - whether by conditioning, eugenics, or (more likely) both. And given that we didn’t see any disabled people either, we’re back to eugenics again - I mean, when you’re mass-producing humans, you can afford to throw away a ‘bad batch’ now and then. Plus ... it’s hard to really bond with a guy who wants to live in a society where actual romantic love is considered taboo and kind of disgusting.
(Not to mention I think I was starting to figure out my asexuality at that point, though nowhere near there yet, and the whole “Everyone belongs to everyone else” thing ... I mean, we’re back to queer people again but societal expecation to have lots of sex with lots of people just grosses me out but he was entirely cool with that, so ... yeah no.)
Haven’t been able to read through the whole thing since. Not just because of the ex; because I acknowledge that there are others like him. There are people who think that ... well, that is the ideal society, even knowing what we know now. There are people who’d prefer that to this, even with the governments we have.
Look. The world is shit. I know the world is shit. I spend every day hearing some new bit of awful that is happening because the world is run by a very few people (mostly men) grubbing after money and power. And it enrages me. And no, it’s not a comfortable sensation. My stress levels could probably use some lowering. (Especially after the day I had at work today.) But I can’t imagine not being allowed to enjoy books, or writing. Or sunsets, or flowers. Plus I have enough trouble with the people who, on hearing that I am not nor will I ever be married, say “Oh, don’t worry; you’ll find the right one someday!” without the societal expecation of promiscuity. (I mean, I’m all for other people having sex; just don’t get me involved in it.)
I mean, I know that the book mostly highlights the issues inherent in a world like that one - that all the conditioning in the world can’t necessarily stifle bits of individuality. But Huxley ignores so many concepts which ... okay, written in 1931 so I can’t expect a whole lot from the pseudoscience or the inclusivity. But some people miss the point entirely - so very entirely that I end up blindsided with the knowledge that some people want to live in a world where they don’t think of anything beyond who they’re going to be ‘having’ tomorrow or their next game of Centrifugal Bumble-Puppy. And yeah, the point’s supposed to be that you wouldn’t know anything different ... supposedly, according to my ex. Except obviously that’s bullshit because there wouldn’t have been a book if Bernard or even Lenina hadn’t been the slightest bit deviant by their societal standards.
Meh. It’s just been a bad day, that’s all. But still not picking up Huxley again.
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this might be a weird thought but the way jensen performs masculinity (and i KNOW it’s a performance cause like, have you SEEN the mockumentary?) is just.... so inherently queer to me lmao
ok. okokokokokok. you asked for this. i have a LOT of thoughts on this. it’s gonna be under a cut because i’m gonna be annoying and psychoanalyse a celebrity i’ve never met(and hope i never do) but trust and believe when i tell you i know what i’m talking about so
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you want my opinion? here goes. there is absolutely no way jensen ackles is straight. i hear you, ‘how do you know that he’s bi? that’s invasive and creepy’ but may i counter that point by saying how do you know he’s straight???? why is the default for everyone heterosexual? that’s a toxic mentality to have; ‘oh you don’t know for sure so just treat him like he’s 100% straight just in case’ like....what? heteronormativity drives me wild i’m sorry
and also, um, just to, um, prove my point that this man is decidedly not straight™(i really don’t want to do this but like it has to be said) we KNOW he’s not straight because his d*ck has spoken for itself around misha, like, four times. I HATE SAYING IT!!!!!!! but, um, straight men don’t get aroused by men. ...do i really need to explain myself further???? that’s what i thought(and don’t give me the ‘it could have been for unrelated reasons’ or ‘that wasn’t a boner!’ crap because um good lord yes it was and misha caused every single one so no it wasn’t a coincidence i’m gonna move on before i collapse into myself like a dying star)
anyway, on to the topic at hand which is jensen and his performative masculinity. and it’s a juicy one.
after the unconscious amount of hours i’ve put into watching and subconsciously judging jackles, i have come to the conclusion that like, 90% of how he presents himself and talks and even moves is an act. it’s a facade. it’s a shield. he is not that person. it actually seems exhausting, because he tries to compose himself in this macho, manly, confident and effortlessly cool way, but he’s not that person he desperately wishes he was and wants to be perceived as. he’s on guard every second, even the slightest tilt of his head is like, pre-meditated in some way? if i’m going FULL body language analyst mode, i’ve noticed he has a certain posture he always shifts himself into, and it’s very ‘pursed lips, stoic faced, gruff voiced, square-shoulder, broad and manly’ but, not to be rude jensen, it kind of reads as a little kid imitating the adults he thinks are cool? oof i am going IN huh(it’s out of love though i promise)
he is trying to be this person at every second:
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because that’s who he wishes he was, because that’s how he gets validation from the people around him that he looks up to; straight white guys. but to me, who he presents himself to be at conventions is just as much of a performance as this whole eye of the tiger bit is.
oh i should mention i know his body language isn’t naturally like that because how he naturally carries himself is actually pretty flamboyant? like he seriously must be toning himself down HARD
examples:
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there’s no tension in his body here as opposed to the eye of the tiger gif. i’d describe it as...generally loose and free? he’s at ease when he moves like that and you can see it.
oh and dude!!! DUDE!!!! how could i not mention the fucking SPECTACLE that is his voice??? jensen. i watched season one. i know where your voice naturally sits. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE. and there have been so many accounts of fans visiting jensen in his trailer and being surprised that his real voice is two octaves higher. again, his performance of masculinity is all encompassing. he can’t even talk normally because, in his mind, that’s a chink in his armour.
and, like you said, anon, this whole smokes-and-mirrors gong show of ‘i am the cool texan man’ is inherently queer. who are you trying to impress??? guys??? that’s pretty gay dude.(btw: gay[honorary])
i feel like i’ve already read this man for filth but i have to keep going bc i have so much to say
ok next thing i’m gonna talk about is how jensen says one thing but everything else about him tells us the exact opposite. another HUGE element of performative masculinity, ONE THAT DEAN WINCHESTER IS A MASTER OF. have i mentioned how dean and jensen are like mirrors of each other when it comes to their sexuality and queer identity??? because it is fascinating how everything i say about jensen also directly applies to dean.
allow me to introduce the grumpy face™. as in, the face he glues on when he’s enjoying doing something but doesn’t want to let anyone know it. and it’s ALWAYS when he’s doing something that could be seen as unmanly in any way. (and when i say manly i mean the ‘ideal’ version of manhood that doesn’t really exist but that jensen seems to be striving for[and dean too])
prime example is this video he did with daneel. the grumpy face™ doesn’t budge the whole time as he’s like,,,,playing an instrument and acting like he doesn’t want to bc i guess that’s too girly??? but i also find this video fascinating because the joke IN it is kind of that they’re both poking fun at him for being so insecure about playing a freaking flute. because, i mean, he gets into it, but he wants you to think he is not.
also this picture.
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what is this. i hate them. jensen is smushing himself into misha’s forehead but noooo his face is telling us ‘i hate this’ because CLEARLY he does. also misha’s so happy ew gross
he does that face in photo ops with misha ALL THE TIME but how many times has he also literally asked the con goers if he can also have those photos on his phone too? because of course he actually loves touching misha and is actually a sentimental fool but he tries so hard to hide it and fails so spectacularly.
oh and this. and of COURSE this. actually let’s talk about the hitch kiss for a hot minute because it’s a perfect example of exactly what i’m talking about
(he is so transparent guys. he tries so hard but he’s so obvious.)
1. misha was never supposed to be onstage with him. so it’s a boldface LIE and OBVIOUS PLOY TO GET MISHA TO KISS HIM when he says ‘they’d like us to make out now’. but of course the way he says it is ‘oh my god can you believe what these crazy panel people are making us do haha but i mean what they say goes amirite’. same energy as ‘oh my god did you just dare us to kiss rn???’ ‘....no i didn’t’ ‘oh my god i can’t believe you’d ask that haha but i can’t say no to a dare lol’ it’s the SAME THING
2. the fact that he was in the worst mood before misha came onstage and FAKE KISSING HIM made him feel...SO?? much better? like not just a little better a lot better like, again, that says a lot, because if they weren’t dating he would not be in a better mood if misha kissed his cheek unprompted. bc that cheek kiss wasn’t a joke it was a genuine sign of affection and AHHHH
3. after the kiss happens. you know, the one that jensen actively leans into and is smiling like an idiot the whole time through and is quite clearly having the time of his life during....he says ‘well, that was uncomfortable’. .......my guy. um. i don’t know how to tell you that i do in fact have eyes and you are NOT pulling the fast one you think you are
like i’m so sorry jensen but i have you pegged. it’s literally no use.
god there’s so many instances of him doing this with misha specifically. the whole ‘ew gross lol’ but then everything about him tells us the exact opposite. like this(i hate this. how dare he say ‘he has though, hasn’t he?’ LIKE THAT?????)
so yeah my point with that is he really wants us to think he is one thing when he is the antithesis of what he’s trying to be. he really likes those things that he talks down about, and everything he’s loudly projecting is all to hide how he really feels. he went to a gay bar with daneel, for crying out loud. he wants to play a role in drag. he’s queer and he likes it. pov: you’re jensen ackles train of thought: ‘ok so i really like this thing that people might make fun of me for or call me gay for liking so if i just say ‘lol as if’ and make a grossed-out face they will be FOOLED. i am a genius. hey misha wanna blow on my ear lol i meAN GROSS EW’
i have two more things i want to talk about when it comes to this topic so PLEASE bear with me anon this is why you took so long to answer clearly lmao
ok so we’re now going to go over my favorite hot take of all time. which is ‘how do we know dean’s performing masculinity? because sam isn’t.’ only replace dean with jensen and sam with jared and oh my god do we ever have a case
jared is as STRAIGHT as they come. he is secure in that knowledge. and that’s why he is perfectly comfortable treating misha like this:
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and not try to scream ‘i am not enjoying doing this!!!!!!’ at us. because he doesn’t care what we think of his sexuality like jensen does(because he has nothing to hide whereas jensen DOES)
something i found the other day that no one has brought up but i SCREAMED upon finding it is this one clip THAT I CAN’T FIND OH GOD but i promise i’m not making it up. i can’t believe i can’t find it guys it is gold. i need need NEED to talk about it. and if anyone knows what i’m referencing and can apply links in any way i will love you forever but here’s what happens off the top of my head:
ok so i’m a bit too braindead to explain it perfectly but um basically it’s a j2 panel and someone brings up magic mike and i think jared says ‘yeah i didn’t watch it’ and then jensen says ‘all the way through’. stupid joke. whatever. the joke is that jared is gay for watching magic mike.
and then i literally kid you not. jared gets this like ‘jesus christ ok dude? lol’ look on his face and then goes ‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ and jensen gets a guilty look on his face and walks away. and jared did not say it as a joke. he was being dead pan and earnest. and jensen knew it too, he knew he was projecting. i wish i could show you guys the clip i promise if i ever find it i’ll link it but IS THAT NOT SO DAMNING FOR JENSEN????? like come ON. also proves my point that when you compare how they feel about watching magic mike. jared doesn’t care bc watching it just doesn’t interest him, but he also thinks that just watching it in itself doesn’t make you gay. jensen however.......has a different mindset, clearly.
‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ is actually a great title for my next and FINAL section(we’re almost there folks) which is how jensen projects his insecurites about his own sexuality and relationship with misha onto misha.
i hope by now we’ve all seen this video of jensen impersonating cas. it is a blatant microaggression on his part. and like obviously homophobic. it’s like in his mind if he makes fun of them for being gay it makes them both less gay somehow??? it’s self-deprecation in a way??? let’s just tell it like it is: that impression was just jensen’s overt internalized homophobia rearing it’s ugly head. he does it a LOT too when it comes to misha.
i mean:
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and that whole mess where he’s making fun of misha for being a bottom in their panel in 2016? ‘so you’re saying, like with football terms, there’s a handler and there’s a receiver heheheehe’ jensen you’re not exempt from being gay just because you know football terms lmao
oh and his OTHER impression of misha where he mocks him for...bicycling...because it’s not a manly enough sport??? jensen NO ONE else has ever thought this hard in their lives about what constitutes as masculine enough to be a sport before. that’s all you bud. we don’t find those jokes nearly as funny as you do. you are reaching, sir
the good news is that misha thinks it’s hilarious and knows it’s projecting on jensen’s part and will tease him endlessly for it. many stories come to mind, like that one photo op story where they’re literally dressed in rainbow banners and pride stickers but when misha goes to hold his hand jensen said something like ‘no way’ and then misha stepped back, put his hands on his hips and went ‘that’s the part that’s too gay for you???’ and jensen LOST it
or when that whole underwear thing happened(messy messY MESSY BTW) and then a fan asked a question about what dean and cas would do in rome and misha just said ‘when in rome’ and jensen makes a face like ‘are you serious’ and then misha says ‘you can’t look at me like that anymore, because of what you did!!!!!!’
OH and that whole story about when misha suggested they put jensen in the closet for that cat video....yeah um
and then when jensen was asked to do bisexual finger guns for a photo op and the con goer said ‘he looks bisexual here’ and misha literally said ‘oh he definitely looks bisexual here. i would say he’s actually closer to the gay side of the spectrum’ so..um...make with that as you will
OH MY GOD i’m finally done. wow. WOW. that was a lot. i hope i’ve blown your minds. ty anon i really wanted to talk about this and i hope you’re happy with the outcome!!!!!!
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princesssarcastia · 3 years
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2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer
im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.
Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 
A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 
Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 
Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)
Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.
I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.
blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)
In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”
Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.
Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)
Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.
*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.
☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!
Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.
Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)
Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?
I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.
☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)
This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.
shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)
Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether
Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.
they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.
chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)
When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.
This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”
So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.
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emotions-ew · 3 years
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A Collection of Queer Country Artists and Songs for anyone who doesn’t feel like there’s country music they can relate to...
There is this idea that country music is like just Republican men singing about beer, and trucks and also Jesus,  and that is kind of fair because loads of it is but there are some cool as hell queer/lgbtq+ country artists. Finding those and finding that representation in a genre of music I was literally raised on kind of changed my life in a tiny way and I wanted to share that.
(This is by no means a comprehensive list and also I’m basing the “Country” part of this sometimes on my subjective opinion/limited music knowledge so yuh please don’t hate me if I get some wrong)
Also link below for a Spotify playlist of my favourite gay/gayish country music, some mentioned in this post some not, (with a title that isn’t obviously gay for anyone who can’t openly listen to gay stuff on their public accounts for whatever reason) so feel free to skip the massive essay and just jump straight to that. And pretty please repost if I missed anyone/ any songs you love.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7KB6PmUxnpkU7lih8Bysvw
Artists To Follow:
Chely Wright
- Right off the bat, Chely Wright is a legend and I’m in love with her. So, in the 90′s Chely Wright was kind of a huge deal. She started her career as a singer/songwriter and released her first album in ‘94, which was critically acclaimed although never reached the commercial success of her later works. By ‘97 she was really hitting her stride, dropping her breakout hit “Shut up and Drive” (a personal favourite of mine) followed two years later by the biggest hit of her career “Single White Female”. Throughout all that Chely Wright was, to the world, a good old fashioned, heterosexual southern gal. Privately it was a bit of a different story. She had public relationships with male country artists, all while pursuing a secret decade long relationship with a woman. 
I hadn’t ever really heard a Chely Wright song until a few years ago so I never knew about her music or career pre-coming out but I do know that even though by the time she came out in 2010 she was by no means at the height of her fame Chely Wright is kind of one of the biggest names in country music to be out and proud (in my opinion) and I love her like an insane amount. I literally play her music in my car when I have passengers just so I can be like “fun fact this singer is actually gay-” and then subject them to a lengthy explanation of her entire career. She came out with an album and a memoir and the album is my favourite of her work because it’s so fucking raw and because I relate to most of it immensely. Anyways Chely Wright went fucking through it in her journey to being her authentic self and now she’s out and proud and married to a woman and they have a family together and I’m a fucking sucker for a happy ending and y’all should add her to every playlist you have. And on top of that her music is genuinely good. Coming out undoubtedly damaged her career but I think that
Brandi Carlile 
- As far as I can tell Brandi Carlile has been out her whole career. I feel like this list is just going to be me saying “I’m in love with her” about a bunch of women old enough to be my mother but in my defence, I am honestly in love with her. She’s been making music since she was like, seventeen, and has had a bunch of massive hits, as a singer, songwriter, and producer. If you want to cry kind of happy tears listen to her performance of “Bring my Flowers Now” with Tanya Tucker. She’s won Grammy’s and CMT awards and she’s done it all as an out Queer woman. She’s also a founding member of The Highwomen, an all-female country music group who released their first album in 2019, comprised of Carlile, Marren Morris, Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires. I really love this band because they’re four artists who are immensely successfully in their own right collabing, much like the Highwaymen, and their music is phenomenal while also being a fuck you to mainstream country music and their inability to properly represent women in country music spaces. 
She’s been married to a woman (smoking hot and also brilliant) since 2012 and they have two kids together and if you want to cry (again) then you have to listen to her song “Mother” about her eldest daughter. A queer country artist absolutely worth adding to all your playlists. 
Brooke Eden
- As I understand it Eden came out publicly in January of this year. She’s engaged to Hilary Hoover, who she’s been dating since 2015 apparently. I can’t even imagine the pressure that must be on a person and how stressful it would be to keep a relationship secret from the whole world for years and personally I think they’re a cute as hell couple and I wish them literally all the happiness in the world. 
Brooke Eden has a few older songs that I think are really good, my favourite being “Act Like You Don’t”, and while her new stuff isn’t my usual country vibe I am a sucker for literally anything gay and it is legally my gay duty to stream any song that she releases to support my fellow queer. It’s quite different to anything Wright or Carlile sing but I actually kind of love that because it shows that country music of all different shapes and sizes and styles can be sung by queer artists. 
Amythyst Kiah
- Okay so I am a very new listener to Amythyst Kiah, but her music is literally so beautiful it would be a straight up sin to not include her on this list. Her music is country-blues-roots esq (more roots than country, I think?) and her voice is so unique. She grew up in Chattanooga and has been playing music since childhood. She recently made her Opry debut which is fucking awesome. She also belongs to a band called Our Native Daughters, described as “A supergroup of Black women in traditional music”. Their debut album “Songs of Our Native Daughters” did numbers and I haven’t listened to the whole thing but my favourite so far are “Black Myself” and “I Knew I Could Fly” so y’all add that to your playlists along with “Wild Turkey” by Amythyst Kiah because holy hell her voice on that will blow your mind.
Steve Grand
-        The first man to make this list, he should frankly be honoured. Grand has been an out and proud gay man making country music since like 2013, and I have so much respect for an artist who chose to simply never be in, choosing instead to simply write gay ass songs about being in love with men and letting the chips fall where they man. His music is always going to have a special place in my heart and, he’s cute so if you’re into men and music by men give him a google. add him to your playlists, his All-American Boy album is literally just a dozen songs that are perfect to yell-sing along to.
Katie Pruitt
-        Not hugely knowledgeable on Katie Pruitt but her music makes me feel crazy intense emotions and is absolutely gay
 Honorable Mention Artists I haven’t Really Listened to But Who I Know to be gay thanks to google and might be your thing so totally check them out:
Brandy Clark
Ty Herndon
Shelly Fairchild
Lavendar Country
Trixie Mattel
Cameron Hawthorn
Drop any other names of artists or songs you know of 
 Specific Songs That Make Me Fucking Cry or (in good and bad ways (but always in a gay way)) or basically are just gay as hell:
If She Ever Leaves Me; The Highwomen
- So, this album came out about a week before my first (and only) girlfriend broke up with me. The general gist of the song is a woman singing about how her loved isn’t ever going to leave her but if she does it sure as hell won’t be for a creepy man in a bar. A little ironic that I felt I related to it so intensely, considering she did in fact leave me. There’s this one lyric that goes “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve lover here out loud/the sky hasn’t always been blue” and my girlfriend and I were crazy deep in the closet so I drew her a cute little picture of a grey cloud and on the back I wrote that lyric and I gave it to her and to me it was kind of a promise that one day I’d get a chance to love her out loud and even though I never actually did this song is forever going to make me cry because of the little bit of hope that lyric gave me and the way it’s inclusion on this overwhelmingly mainstream country album made me feel like acceptance was just that little bit closer. 
 All American Boy; Steve Grand
- Definitely one of the first gay country songs I ever heard, and Steve Grand didn’t once sacrifice a scrap of country for the gay. It’s beautiful, it’s a little sad, it’s hopeful. It’s forever going to hold a special place in my heart and the music videos is kind of one of my favourites ever. I found this song before I found myself and the way it made my heart warm should have been a stronger sign than I took it to be. 
Like Me; Chely Wright
- When you love someone you kind of make it your mission to know them in a way that no one else can. This song by Chely Wright is sort of an ode to that, and how even once you lost someone, you’re still going to know every little thing about them. On top of that it sort of speaks to the idea that all these things Wright learned about this woman, she learned in secret and she knew her and loved her in secret and now that they’re gone from each other she’s left with all of this knowledge and all of these questions and no one to answer them. I love the way it’s so slow and the melody and her voice, the way it’s low and a little raspy, make this one of my favourite Chely Wright songs.
The Mother; Brandi Carlile
-        Sorry but a song about being a mother by a queer woman is going to make me cry every time and actually I’m not that sorry. It’s quite a simple song, if any song written by Brandi Carlile can ever be described as ‘simple’, it’s an ode to her daughter. My favourite line is “you are not an accident/where no one thought it through” because it speaks to the fact that in order for queer women to have a kid together they have to want it so damn bad and also I just like the way her voice sounds on that line. This song is also the perfect thing to listen to if you ever for a second feel like being gay/queer is going to stand in the way of you having a family because it absolutely doesn’t have to and if that’s something you want, you can have it. Don’t let people try and convince you otherwise.
Loving Her; Katie Pruitt
-        Unapologetic gay love. Opening a song with “If loving hers a sin, I don’t wanna go to heaven” is a fucking baller move and she went there. The lyrics are beautiful, and her voice is phenomenal. It could be a sad song, about confronting religious repression and grappling with what that means for your love, but instead its triumphant. Katie Pruitt doesn’t give a fuck if you have a problem because she’s going to write songs for her lover.
Jesus From Texas; Semler
-        Not actually totally sure this is a country song, but it has the words ‘Jesus’ and ‘Texas’ in the title so I feel safe including it in this list. Honestly, I don’t really know why I relate so hard to this song. Like, I wasn’t really raised with religion, so I don’t know what it is about this funky little tune that makes me want to sob but there’s something about this tune that makes me want to do whatever the opposite of get up and dance is, but like, in a good way.
Lovin’ Again; Steve Grand
-        Breakup song that ends kind of positively? So good to sing along to at high, high volumes. The idea that losing someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself and just because you can’t love them doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to love again. But also kind of about how it’s hard to get over someone, I don’t know it’s just good.
Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears; Lavender Country
-        Jesus christ if this isn’t the coolest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sorry but a gay country group formed in 1972 who dropped possibly the first gay themed country album, and this was the title of one of the songs. God I am in love.
 Songs that (to me) are a little fruity or that I just relate to in a gay way:
Picket Fences; Chely Wright
-          Chely Wright is gay but this song came out long before she did and when she wrote it, it wasn’t supposed to be gay which is why it’s in this section and not the previous. The reason it’s included at all is because frankly ma’am, Mrs Wright, it’s a little fruity. And I feel a little bad for joking because honestly to me, the way I hear this song and knowing the context (that Wright was deeply closeted at the time she wrote and released it), it’s kind of just sad. The general gist of the song is Wright asking what’s so great about a traditional lifestyle anyways. It could be read as a woman genuinely questioning why we push that expectation that she’ll have two kids and a husband and a picket fence lifestyle, or even could be read as a woman who’s trying to deflect how much she does in fact want that, you have to listen and form your own opinion. But to me, it feels like a woman who’s desperately trying to justify why she doesn’t want that life not because she can’t have it, but she knows it will never be right for her. I don’t know it’s hard to explain I just feel like this song is a little bit gay even though I’m sure she didn’t intend that.
Sinning with You; Sam Hunt
-          Sorry but this song is gay. Sorry but you can’t write the lines “I never felt like I was sinning with you/Always felt like I could talk to God in the morning” and “if it’s so wrong why did it feel so right” and “But I never felt shame, never felt sorry/Never felt guilty touching your body” and not to mention the opening line of “raised in the first pew/praises for yeshua/case of a small town repression”, and expect to not sit in my car sobbing as I realised that while I never felt like what we did was a sin she absolutely did, and wishing I could have told her that I was sorry for making her carry the weight of both our souls but also that it wasn’t a sin and nothing in the world could feel that good and be that bad and it isn’t right that she had to be so ashamed of something that was just so good. Sam Hunt actually said after he wrote the song that while it was reflection on his own relationship with faith he genuinely hopes that people in the lgbtq community can like find comfort or whatever in his words and like go off king, we stan an ally.
  How do I Get There; Deana Carter
-          This ones easy, it’s about falling in love with your best friend and suddenly realising you want more than just friendship with them. Sorry Deana, that’s gay. In my Deana Carter of like Year 10 I played this song on repeat and screamed along to the lyrics as though singing it hard enough would make her like me back.
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I find it really intriguing how the ATLA writers could have gone a “brotherly love” route with Zuko and Aang, but they never did. Even in LOK, the only thing that I remember Iroh saying about their relationship was that they canonically became the best of friends and that Zuko knew Aang better than anyone, even more than Katara and their children. I find the direction of their relationship a contrast to how often the bond between the male protagonist and the male antagonist that are spiritually linked in other media is reduced to “they were like brothers” and put aside for the respective heterosexual romances of the leads, even though the relationships between the leads often have homoerotic subtext and can be interpreted through a queer lens. I guess what I’m wondering is: would you classify Zuko and Aang’s relationship as brotherly? Do you support interpretations where their relationship is viewed as brotherly? And finally (I’m sorry for all of the questions): why do you think the ATLA writers - who seem to mostly be composed of cishet men - never took the “brotherly love” route and left the nature of their relationship ambiguous?
This ask has been in my inbox for a Hot Minute 💀 my apologies, my friend. And since I haven’t seen LOK, I won’t try to speak on the front. Before I continue, though, @likealittleheartbeat has an AMAZING analysis here about the interpretation of Aang and Zuko’s relationship through a queer-platonic lens that I found to be an incredible read and arguably could answer this ask on its own, lol!
I guess the general “issue” that must be addressed to answer these questions is simply how we define brotherly. That “we” can be divided into the viewers and the writers, only adding another layer of complexity. Because the reality is that we can’t jump into the creators minds and see exactly how they intended Zuko and Aang’s relationship to be interpreted. We can make deductions, e.g. the existence of Kataang and Maiko suggests Zuko and Aang were not intended to have a romantic relationship within canon (duh, lol). In fact, you could even add another division to the “we” - the writers, the viewers, and the characters themselves (i.e. interpretation through the cultural lenses that inspired the show).
All of this is to say that there is not going to be one agreed-upon definition of “brotherly,” lol! Since you seem to be asking for my personal opinions, I’ll go with my personal definition. If anyone has differing thoughts in response to these questions, please feel free to add them in a comment or rb! I think there’s a lot to explore here and my sole opinion is Not the be-all and end-all, lmao.
So, what is my personal definition of “brotherly”? I’m not going to try to make a formal definition, lol, but the gist of my interpretation is a platonic relationship akin to that of siblings. To me, there is a difference between having a “brotherly relationship” with someone versus a “friendship” (I almost used “friendly relationship” but that didn’t feel right jskdfhakdls). I think these two can overlap and/or be the same, but - for example - I have friends who I would say without hesitation that I am incredibly close with, but I also would not classify that friendship as “sisterly.” (Again, these are strictly my personal thoughts, and I encourage further discussion in comments/rbs!)
I’ll take your questions one at a time:
Would you classify Zuko and Aang’s relationship as brotherly?
Personally? Probably not. To me, there is a sense of superficiality associated with the term “brotherly” that in my eyes can be reductive to platonic relationships between men (can be, not always lol). I think with Zuko and Aang, the relationship just runs much deeper than “brotherly” can connote. For one, they are the primary narrative foils of the show! The only relationship that comes close to theirs in terms of narrative significance is Kataang (which is a very different dichotomy, btw, I’m not trying to compare them lol). We have numerous episodes dedicated to the parallels between Aang and Zuko, including but not limited to “The Storm” and “The Avatar and the Fire Lord.” I mean, this is an actual quote from the latter episode:
Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?
We see variants of this line and the notion of friendship itself associated throughout that episode explicitly with Roku and Sozin, Roku and Gyatso, and of course the Gaang at the end, but implicitly we also know it’s about Aang and Zuko, too. Aang says, “Everyone, even the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation, have to be treated like they’re worth giving a chance.” One common take with this line that I’ve seen is interpreting it as foreshadowing for Aang’s decision to spare Ozai - which obviously is a fair assessment - but we cannot also ignore how much it applies to Zuko joining the Gaang. Specifically, Zuko reconciling with Aang.
We all know Aang was the first person to extend friendship to Zuko back in “The Blue Spirit” and tbh, after he saw Appa licking Zuko, you can tell Aang was nearly willing to extend a second chance to Zuko then and there lol. Aang and Zuko’s friendship, them being drawn together, is a relationship that transcends lifetimes, transcends social norms/expectations, transcends a loss greater than anyone can imagine (for Aang) and offers a new opportunity arguably far more than deserved (for Zuko). I think ascribing a qualifier of “brotherly” to their relationship therefore limits this transcendence because of how much their dynamic encompasses.
Do you support interpretations where their relationship is viewed as brotherly?
Of course! One of the reasons I love A:TLA - especially my small corner of the fandom - is how many interpretations that every relationship presents, be it a small “difference” (such as calling Zuko and Aang’s relationship “brotherly”) or a more drastic one (exploring fanon possibilities with rarepairs, let’s go #AangRarepairWeek 😎). So even if this interpretation isn’t one I’m inclined to in the literal sense (i.e. it’s the “brotherly” qualifier I feel I dislike, because I do love platonic Zukaang as much as romantic Zukaang), I absolutely encourage others to make the most of their fandom experience and product/support content that they enjoy!
Why do you think the ATLA writers - who seem to mostly be composed of cishet men - never took the “brotherly love” route and left the nature of their relationship ambiguous?
I will say that we don’t really have any way of knowing the sexualities and gender identities of every single A:TLA writer, lol. I’m not saying they were all queer in some way, of course, but I just want to establish that we don’t and can’t know unless told. If that makes sense 😂
As I mentioned earlier, I have no way of getting inside the writers’ minds to determine their intentions when they were writing Zuko and Aang’s relationship, so all you’re gonna get here are my best guesses lmao! For one, there wasn’t really a need to outright label Zuko and Aang as having a “brotherly” relationship. The existence of Kataang and Maiko again speak for themselves. Most viewers - especially casual watchers - don’t need the show to state “these two only love each other in a brotherly way” to conclude that the relationship was platonic (or rather, was not romantic), especially considering that the show was made in the mid-2000s (i.e. sad but true, most people weren’t watching A:TLA with a queer lens 😔). So I wouldn’t say they left the relationship “ambiguous” so much as there wasn’t need to qualify it further than simply being platonic.
Of course, I do think there is an ambiguity that comes with Aang and Zuko’s relationship, which I love to exploit in my Zukaang fics 😌. Was that ambiguity intentional? Again, I’m inclined to say no. But I can’t speak with certainty and - as I discussed earlier - I truly think Aang and Zuko’s relationship would be limited by being called “brotherly” when their connection runs so deeply and is intertwined so heavily with the spiritual themes of the show. Thus, it’s possible the writers were purposefully emphasizing that spirituality by not labelling them as “brotherly”! But as I said, there’s really no way to be sure.
At the end of the day, I don’t think it matters how someone chooses to label Aang and Zuko’s relationship. I mean, I’m always a little horrified when a person completely overlooks their narrative significance as foils (because I personally can’t imagine dismissing either of their importance to the other), but hey, to each their own. Brotherly, queerplatonic, romantic, and hell, anything in-between - these interpretations are anyone’s for the taking. Have fun with it! 💛
(I hope this at least kind of resembles the answer you were looking for, anon 😂)
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There is a light at the end of the tunnel
Hello, Stuck. Sorry, I don’t know your real name.
I wrote this long ass post to bring some light into the fandom and between the CSs, and I hope you can post it? I’m new in the Tumblr world, but not in the 5H fandom. I don’t quite know how it works yet and, for the moment, I only know your blog and those of @emisonme, @karlaswine, @sun-to-my-luna, @underthatimpression, and @mentesimploria because, in one way or another, you’re all connected to each other. I just wanted to tell you guys how much I appreciate every single one of you, the passion you have, and the hope you keep alive among those who, like me, love the girls. Also, the patience you guys have, especially against the haters, is admirable. I love the fact that you keep going. Because this is your sacred place, as it should be.
This is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I’m what can be defined as a ‘silent fan’. I never commented on anything in the girls’ posts, not even on the fan accounts I follow. I don’t have Twitter. I have Facebook but it’s like I don’t have it because I don’t use it. I have Wattpad (obviously). I recently registered here on Tumblr, and I have Instagram. That’s what I use. It’s the only app along with YouTube that I use daily to keep up with the rest of the world. Especially the American part of the world. I’m Italian, but I speak American English well, and I apologize in advance if my lazy ass hasn’t noticed possible grammatical errors. I saw that a lot of you are into this stuff, so I thought I’d add it just because. I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Virgo rising.
I’m gonna turn 29 on December 22, and this is a BIG fuck off to all the people who have attacked you lately for your age. This is personal information that I give freely to make ignorant and small-minded people understand that, in this context especially, age is irrelevant. As you, little fucker who hides behind a computer to attack people just to feel stronger, have a life, we have it too. Like you, we have a life, a job, friends, etc. We also have passions. Passions that yes, my dear haters, also include shipping people. I don’t know why in your stupid brain we’re too old to ship people we love and to give opinions about it. I didn’t know it was something reserved only for those who still smell like mommy’s milk. But anyway…
I became aware of 5H existence just before summer 2015 thanks to ‘Worth It’. Being Italian, however, I had no idea who they were, and to be honest, I didn’t go searching for them. Randomly one day then, I ran into Camren on YouTube. I can’t remember which video I was watching, but I know for sure it was about ‘Heya/Brittana’ (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera/Brittany and Santana, my very first hard LGBT ship). And among the suggested videos, there they are. As ridiculous as it sounds, and although I liked them as soon as I saw them, I didn’t go searching for them. I did it when ‘Work from Home’ came out though. From there, I connected that they were the same ‘Worth It’ group and the same two girls I liked from those YouTube videos. I had officially become a fan. I was screwed. Screwed because, I’d officially entered one of the most messed up and yet most beautiful fandoms ever.
As I initially said, this is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. But after the recent events, seeing how many people gave up, it made me a little angry and gave me the strength to speak for the first time. I thought the first time would’ve been through the fanfiction I’ve been working on for over two years, but no. Lauren and her beautiful mouth had to terrorize, disappoint, panic, and make angry 80% of CS, thus fueling the hatred of all the other fandom towards us. So I decided to speak now. Maybe, just maybe, this very long ass post of mine is gonna help struggling CS. Maybe, just maybe, it’s gonna make them reason and bring them to their senses.
So. This, as I think you’ve understood, is about Lauren and what she said in the podcast. This is a reminder of the Laucy situation. These are things we already know and that I want to remind you of because apparently, my lovely fellows CS, either you have a short-term memory, or Lauren has the power to create amnesia in people’s minds and I knew nothing about it. Surely this power of hers didn’t work on me and a few others.
Oh and, before starting: 1) You may disagree with me. It’s normal to have different opinions. 2) You can search for information such as dates, easily on the internet. 3) I’m gonna use nicknames on PRs for fun. That doesn’t mean I hate them. I have my reasons for dislike each one of them as people, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with the fact that they were or are the Camren beards. An example to make you understand what I mean is Ty. I’m a huge Ari fan and I’ve been listening to ‘safety net’ non-stop for two days straight. I really dislike Ty as a person, but I separate the art from the artist.
Okay, that said, I can start.
Lauren said: “I knew I was queer because I fell in love with my best friend when I was like 15.” – “Her and I started to have a physical connection when I was 15.”
Lauren and Lucid Vivisectionist met when L moved to Carrollton in 7th grade. Lucille moved back to Puerto Rico in February 2012, returning to visit Miami occasionally (this explains the fetus pictures with Lucy and Camren at L’s house). In February 2012, Lauren was 15, Camila 14, and Lucy 16. And who did Lauren meet when she was 15? Oh yeah, Camila. C and L did the first phase of the audition, the ‘cattle call’, on May 1, 2012 in Greensboro, North Carolina. Audition where Camila took courage to speak at the (“Oh my God that girl is) literally so beautiful” girl from which she felt intimidated by starting that adorable brief conversation “Hi, I like your shirt”, “Thanks. I like your jacket” just before it was her turn to get in for her audition. In May 2012, Lauren and Camila were both 15 years old. Lauren and Camila saw each other again for the first time on July 25th, two months later, in Miami on the first day of boot camp, and it was Lauren herself who went to Camila: “You’re the Cuban girl!”. In July 2012, Lauren was 16 and Camila was 15.
Lauren said: “She came back into my life when I was 18. I was on tour and I was in my room in a hotel somewhere, and she called me.” Let me explain to you why I think this is true.
Lauren and Luxy reconnected with each other after Lucy’s car accident that took place on May 15, 2015. Lauren was really 18 in May 2015, and we can rule out The Reflection Tour dates because it started on February 27, 2015, and ended April 6, 2015. We can also rule out these other show dates that 5H did: April 11 in Jackson Township, New Jersey - April 13 at Live! with Kelly and Michael in New York - April 19 Lauren was at Coachella with Keana, Britt, and other friends - April 22 at the Worldwide Radio Summit in Hollywood - April 25 at Radio Disney Music Awards 2015 in Los Angeles - May 8 at Channel 93.3 Summer Kickoff 2015 in Chula Vista, San Diego - May 9 at Wango Tango 2015 in Carson, Los Angeles (May 9, rumors about Camila and Louis Tomlinson just because paparazzi believed they were together when Louis was actually together with Liam outside the Project Club L.A., and C who was at the club next door) - May 15 at KDWB Radio Show in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
The rest of their program and possible date: May 16 at Kiss Concert 2015 in Mansfield, Massachusetts - May 19 at Dancing with the Stars in Los Angeles - May 30 at G-A-Y in London (rumors about Lauren and Louis Tomlinson this time, born because 5H went to Libertine nightclub with Louis and Niall) - May 31 at Britain’s Got More Talent in London - June 2 at Capital FM in Birmingham, England - June 5 at Good Morning Britain in London - June 6 at Capital FM Summertime Ball 2015 in London - June 12 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii - June 14 at LA Pride 2015 - June 18 at Jimmy Kimmel Live in Los Angeles - June 20 at B96 Pepsi Summer Bash 2015 in Bridgeview, Illinois - June 23 at San Diego County Fair 2015 - 28 June at Show Of The Summer 2015 in Hershey, Pennsylvania - July 10 at Rockefeller Plaza in New York. July 15, 2015, beginning of Reflection: The Summer Tour.
June 27, 2015 Lauren turned 19, and do you guys remember the events of those days? Because I do.
On June 24, 2015, Lauren celebrated her birthday in advance at the famous sushi restaurant ‘Katsuya’. Among the guests were the girls, her mom Clara, some friends, including Jill (the same Jill/Jillian Gutowitz who worked with Zack Sang and who 5H met on April 22, 2015, at the Worldwide Radio Summit, which lasted for three days but they were present for two: 22 and 23. The same Jill who wrote the article for AfterEllen on January 25, 2016, about her experiences with women who denied their sexuality. Remember the story of Lauren Jordan, right?), and Noah Benardout (may he rest in peace). Still no Lucia, not even on the days when Lauren returned to Miami to celebrate with her family before resuming the program from the 28. As I already said, The Reflection Summer Tour began on July 15, 2015, and Lucy’s first public reappearance took place on one of the tour dates, that is, July 27 at Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
From that moment on, we saw Lucille appear on multiple occasions in hops through time. After the July 27th date, we saw her during the trip to Hawaii with Lauren and Keana in September, followed by the concert that the girls had on October 10 in the Bahamas, where they stayed with their families and friends for a few days. After the Bahamas, the mess happened between 5H because they found out about Camila’s departure from the group which initially should’ve been immediate, but for which they fought and gained another year. That, was also the time when Laucy signed their PR contract. As we know from Lauren herself, that was the worst and darkest time for her. That was the beginning of her numbness.
On October 23, they were on their way to Italy and Lauren wrote on her dark diary, the one shown to us in Episode 8 of her Attunements. On October 24, they arrived in Milan for the MTV Europe Music Awards 2015 occurred on October 25, and on October 28, in Madrid instead, there was the interview with Alyson Eckmann, the journalist Camila flirted with while Lauren was sitting right next to her.
Going forward, in November we have:
- Rumors about Lauren and Julius Dein (his friend who is a YouTube magician).
-The release of IKWYDLS including the rumors about Camila and Shawn and Michael Clifford (who was already in the picture) who were ‘vying for her’.
- Beginning of Lauren’s coming out plan which included: 1) The release of The Vamps’ album on November 23rd, that is, a week after the release of IKWYDLS, and which included the track ‘I Found A Girl’. Joe O'Neill, the manager of The Vamps, liked that famous tweet. Despite the efforts to make us believe that Bleahren (sorry for the Italian pun I made here, but ‘bleah’ in Italian is equivalent to the ‘eww’ to indicate something gross, and therefore Bleah-Ren) Brauren was real and that the girl involved was Lucille and not Camila, they’ve miscalculated since Lauren and Brad ‘dated’ in 2014 when Lucy had not yet returned into Lauren’s life. But since the album and consequently the song came out on November 23, 2015, they tried to manipulate people’s minds as usual. 2) Jill’s article that served to connect and more or less ‘confirm’ the story between this Jordan and her childhood friend, Lauren-Lucy.
- December: completion of the 7/27 album + Dina LaPolt’s entry + renegotiation of the contracts (mostly DNA’s contracts) + FIFTH HARMONY MUSIC, INC. created by LAND on December 21 to prepare for the transfer of the 5H trademark, the FIFTH HARMONY PARTNERSHIP, of which they became owners from April 27, 2016 + change of management from Faculty Management: Jared Paul and Janelle Lopez, to Maverick Management: Larry Rudolph, Dan Dymtrow, and Tara Beikae. [All things that were possible ONLY THANKS to the exit of C from the group]
- January 2016, we have Lauren and Lucrezia who came back from Colombia to then taking a road trip for Lucy’s birthday week.
- Jill’s article came out and coincidentally, by pure chance, exactly two days later, on January 27, 2016, Camila and Dinah were hacked.
- On March 9, 2016, Lauren, Normani, Andrea, Dinah, and Keana went to pierce their ears, or rather, Laurmainah pierced their ears, mama Dre and Keana just accompanied them. During her turn, Lauren asked Keana to take her phone to make a video. In the meantime, Mani was filming Lauren, and again by pure chance, Keana, who was in the heart of the frame, took Lauren’s phone as she’d asked, and both the lock screen and the home screen portrayed a picture of Lucania during a photoshoot. Same picture Lucy herself posted on Instagram on April 10th to leave no doubt.
- April 24, 2016, Coachella together.
- Luciana went with 5H in London, in May, during the promotion of the 7/27 album. (+ Camren video of May 28, 2016)
- She was present during the start of the tour in South America on June 26th (in the evening during the concert, L danced Big Bad Wolf for her, but that’s not the famous video, that was on September 5) and 27th to celebrate L’s birthday together (picture of the 27th of them in Buenos Aires).
- June 27, 2016, on L’s birthday, Jill posted a picture with L from the birthday dinner of the year before, further confirming the story of ‘Jordan’.
- August 1, the national girlfriend day, L posted a picture of her and Lucy.
- From August 12 to 21, Lucy was with them. The night after the concert on the 13th in Rochester Hills, Michigan, videos in which Lucilla appeared during Lauren Fuller’s birthday celebration at the hotel for dinner. On the 14th in Noblesville, Indiana, during Gonna Get Better and Big Bad Wolf Lauren smiled in Lucy’s direction who was in the audience. On the 18th in Virginia Beach, Virginia, a fan met Laucy in a movie theater restroom, taking a selfie with Lauren (C posted a picture of her in the dark with the words of Bad Things “don’t think that I can explain it” the same night).
- On September 4 and 5 Lucippe returned. On the 5th in Houston, Texas, the famous ‘super HD’ video took place in which Lauren danced Big Bad Wolf for Lucy, even pointing to her during her verse. [On September 6, Midland, Texas, during the Q&A, Lauren wore the same dress that Lucy was wearing to the concert the night before, and at the same time, she sat next to C and got jealous when C complimented a fan by sending her flying kisses. Ahh… The irony]
Now. Let’s move on to the part of the podcast where Lauren explains about the kiss with Lucza at her uncle and aunt’s wedding, how her aunt “super innocently” posted the pictures on Facebook that her “unreal invasive fans” found and posted, how Perez Hilton outed her to the world by posting an article with those pictures, how she did nothing for a week, and that after thinking “Ok, it happened. People know. What am I gonna do?”, she wrote that letter against Trump as her own way of coming out.
On November 4, 2016, Lauren and Lucynda did the ‘famous’ photoshoot in New Orleans called ‘Bare With Me’. Lauren flew to NOLA right after Halloween, got back to Miami to vote, then returned to New Orleans on the 10th along with her family for the wedding. Lucianna was also with her on the 10th for the rehearsal/bowling with all of Lauren’s relatives. Meanwhile Orange Trumpeter was elected on the 8th, and many celebrities were preparing to write a letter through Billboard against him and his supporters. Labels and management saw it as a perfect opportunity to get her to come out also considering how much Lauren has always been vocal on the subject, and THEY contacted Billboard to get her to participate in exchange of the exclusive of her coming out. All that was missing was the evidence to make sure that there had been no connection with Camila, and that was the reason for the kiss at the wedding on the 11th.
On November 13, the wedding photographer posted those pictures on his website, including the one of the kiss. And I’m sorry, Lolo, I love you but, really? Who are you kidding? The pictures didn’t start spreading because her ‘unreal invasive fans’ found them on her aunt’s Facebook page where she’d posted them ‘super innocently’. The pictures started spreading after the photographer posted them! And you know what’s even more funny? That to see those pictures on the website, you needed an access password. So what are you saying here, Lo? That your ‘unreal invasive fans’ were so good, to even have hacked their way into the website for pictures they didn’t even know existed? It wasn’t your team, was it? Oh, okay. My bad.
Sarcasm aside. The pictures started to spread, Perez tweeted about it on the 14th, and in the meantime Lauren had time to write the letter that was approved by the labels and sent to Billboard (on the 14th), who approved it a couple of days after it was sent (on the 16th), and which they then published it in the article two days later (on the 18th). In all of this, on November 15, 2016, the girls all went to Epic’s party. Since we know very well that most of the cases of coming out as bisexual in the industry made by a female celebrity occur in succession with the connection with a guy, that night there was the PR proposal between Typo Dolour Signal and Lauren that he obviously accepted, and in fact, he was there that night at that party too (Picture of C with a tear mark on her cheek).
Now, the icing on the cake of the Laucy’s PR: Nicole Cartolano. Nicole is a friend of Lecy’s with whom she had already worked together and who also posted pictures of Lauren on November 17 and 22, 2016, one on December 31, 2016, together with Marian Hill taken backstage after Lauren’s performance with them on the 30th, the night before, for the Snow Globe Festival in South Lake Tahoe, California, and the one of Laucy (with the piñata) on January 10, taken the same night to celebrate Lucilia’s birthday at midnight and that Lauren also used to post it for wish her a happy birthday. That was the last public interaction between the two. *Slow entry of Tympans Dollhouse Signalized in the picture from January 4, 2017, thanks to that tweet*.
On January 21, 2017, Lauren and Lucy were at the same Women’s March, but separately (single), and we haven’t seen them together anymore. LuBYE. On March 22, 2017, both ‘Bare With Me’ and the interview article Nicole did with MTV News (she confirmed that Laucy had been together by having an on-again, off-again for years and also said a lot of other bullshit like the fact that the girls were nervous because they didn’t know how their parents would’ve responded) came out. On August 13, 2018, Nicole officially apologized to Lucy for being angry with her for posting the pictures and therefore for having outed her and for having taken part in the MTV interview without their permission. There was also the screenplay made by Nicole’s mom to make everything even more true.
Bullshit on bullshit on bullshit. Number 1, Lauren herself confirmed in this podcast that her parents knew about her, and said how much she loved Lucre’s ‘I’m out and proud’ part.
Number 2, Nicole posted a preview of the pictures on March 18, 2017, so if she really wanted to stop her before the publication on the 22nd, she would’ve had time to do so.
Number 3, Lucita came out publicly on her own with that Spanish post on Instagram on November 20, 2016, saying in summary that she was anything but straight because she didn’t want to label herself (she did it years later by saying she was a lesbian).
Number 4, as Lusia also confirmed in that post where Nicole’s mom left that comment, Nicole signed a non-disclosure agreement form. If she had actually violated it without having had a release and written consent form, she would’ve been sued.
Number 5, if Luciferase really wanted to have that conversation in private with Nicole’s mom, she might very well have done so. She could’ve contacted her and answered her IN PRIVATE for real, and not via IG where EVERYONE saw and took the side of poor, poor Luckless.
Number 6, the biggest proof that shows the hypocrisy of all this, Lucasta continued to work with Nicole. Their last work dates back to November 25, 2019.
Okaay, sure… sure, because it was normal for her to continue working with the person who outed her, wasn’t it? People’s lies never cease to amaze me. For that matter, Nicole also posted a picture of their ‘adventure’ as they made their way to the photoshoot location on November 1, 2017, and continued to wish them both a happy birthday with posts every year.
And lastly, on June 6, 2020, we have the Lucerne’s video leaked (+ old pictures and videos of 5H) where she burned pictures of Lauren and of the two of them together in 2017, accompanied by the tweets occurred two days later, in which she explained that she was hacked and that she burned the pictures for a closure. Then, exactly 20 days later, that is on June 26, 2020, the PAPER Magazine article of Lauren’s interview came out. What a coincidence! In that article, Lauren explained, along with other things, that she’d been in love with her best friend for 7 years.
Lauren, honey, the maths, the maths… If according to your words you fell in love with her at 15, got together with her at 18, and broken up at 20, how can these be 7 years? It’s 5 years… And as if it wasn’t enough, still according to your words, after 1 year and 8 months (from mid-May 2015 to mid-January 2017), 2 months of which public because of the wedding pictures, of the relationship you wanted at all costs, “all in” and “now we’re gonna be in this relationship”, you broke up with her because she was really toxic, and after less than a month, you started dating an even more toxic person without the proper time to heal?? How do you expect me to believe you? And I’m putting aside the fact that I know they’re both PR relationships. I’m speaking out of logic. How? How can I believe you? How does this make any sense?
Personally, yes, I believe Lauren and Lucy have a past. Lauren’s first kiss was when she was 13 (8th grade) with her boyfriend at the time, Dominic, but I think Lucy was her first kiss with a girl. And I think it happened when she was 15, but in 2011, so long before Lucy left. Lauren dated Paul Martinez from June 4, 2011, to the end of July (around 23/24). From after Paul, until her very first PR at X-Factor, Keaton Stromberg, she was single. I truly believe that before she met Camila, Lauren and Lucy did everything Lauren said. I really believe Lauren experimented with her in secret, but I don’t believe in anything else she said at all.
This is my opinion. And in my opinion, Lauren always knew she was queer, and Lucy was the first with whom she could experience the attraction and the feelings towards girls she had always felt and concealed deep inside herself. But they were friends. Just friends. Friends who messed around and experimented together in secret given the environment that surrounded them. Lucy then returned to live in Puerto Rico and they simply drifted apart because of the distance and Lauren’s busy schedule with 5H. When she came back into Lauren’s life, they rekindled their friendship. Just that. Also because, Camila, hello? Camila entered Lauren’s heart the same year Lucy left and never get out of it. Not to mention that Lucy had a girlfriend, Sarah Scott Narcise, before getting together with Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017. I honestly think that Lucy was also giving advice to Lauren about her relationship with Camila, and I also think that now they really aren’t friends anymore for something we don’t know about, even though I have my theories… But anyway. Lauren needed a beard to be able to come out, Lucy needed visibility for her modeling career and, at the time, also for her music which, however, never saw the light of day. The labels approved because they would’ve done anything to keep their chosen one out of the gay light. Camila also approved. Boom, PR.
I don’t believe all the other bullshit she said during the podcast. Because if they’d been true, they would’ve made logical sense. A sense they’ve been trying, and failing, to give for years. If Lauren really didn’t want to come out, she wouldn’t have done a photoshoot with Lucy a week before the wedding with the intention of using that same photoshoot to come out. She would not have kissed Lucy in a public place during the wedding pictures in front of a professional photographer hired for the event, knowing full well that those pictures would eventually have been published by the bride and groom, her aunt and uncle, and the photographer himself. If she wanted so badly a picture of her kissing her girlfriend, drunk or not, she would’ve taken her fucking phone and take selfies. It wasn’t the fans’ or Perez’s fault. It was the management that was following the plan.
And I’m supposed to, what exactly? Forget all these things, things that have been proofed multiple times in the past, because Lauren, or Camila, or management, or labels, or their contracts, must continue with their stupid narrative? Because Camila must continue to look straight and continue to look in love with Shalt Menstruated because the señorito is about to release his documentary and his album? Because Camila’s movie is about to come out? Because Lauren’s own album is about to be released and because the subject matter of her female-pronounced songs must only and exclusively be related to Lucy? (Although I think her album will be out next year. I think a song with female pronunciation is coming out soon. And no, I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s Burning)
Guys, come on…
Think about it. She used Lucy as a shield to tell part of her story with Camila that happened in 2014. It all fits. Even the story told through songs from Camila’s cocky POV, including ‘Like Friends Do’, ‘Eyes on You’, ‘Cleopatra’, ‘Leave for Good’, and a couple from her last album like ‘Should’ve Said It’ and ‘Feel It Twice’.
I understand why many of you have been hurt by this podcast and by Lauren herself. I understand why a lot of you are angry about the things she said. I see you, I understand, I really do. And everyone is free to feel whatever they want, I’m not saying otherwise. But I really don’t understand why you’re hiding or why you’re abandoning the ship. Authors who don’t wanna write anymore. Accounts closed. Names changed. Hope lost. This, all this, makes me angry and hurt. Because you fell for it. And you know why you fell for it? Because Lauren changed her approach. Leaving aside the part just before when she said: “Even when I talk about it, and I don’t talk about it because I’ve learned to just ignore it because-” and there, I swear I had to pause because I burst out laughing, and I was like: “Bitch, you’re the one who pulled this out of your ass out of nowhere right this second, what are you saying?”. She went on by saying, and she knows us so well because of this: “I just chose to ignore it at a certain point because getting angry to them would it mean that it was real and validate it more for them”.
And it’s true. This non-angry approach of hers, worked like a charm. Lauren’s older, she’s more mature than before. Although she was very nervous, she managed to explain everything calmly. The fact that she was emotional and almost cried in many parts, it really gave an extra boost to what she tried to sell. And I’m not saying she faked almost crying. Hell, no. That was super true and hard for her. I’m saying though, that it’s really easy to manipulate people’s minds, and Lauren used her real pain, the real suffering she has gone through over the years to tell this charade. That’s why it seemed so real. And I’m supposed to fall for that shit just because that’s what they’ve wanted for years, right? Convenient much?
Guys, please. You’re smarter than that, use those beautiful brains. For example, the fact that Lauren said: “I was queer, but she was not”, wrong as you want it to be, and “Camila and I were just really good friends at that time”, yeah, sure, Jan. Doesn’t the very fact that she used the past tense make you realize that it was done to completely detach herself from her IN THE PRESENT? Everything she said was for something. Everything had a purpose. And the goal is always the same. Make us stop shipping ‘em. Putting a label on C only served the Shoestoremila purpose, nothing else. And those were words that came out of the mouth of the one who says she doesn’t like labeling people. The same one who was pissed that someone had outed her before she wanted to. Do you really think she’s that hypocritical?
The fact that she put all the CS in the same box, especially when she talked about the Daddy situation, WAS DONE ON PURPOSE. She couldn’t fail to generalize because their purpose is, and will be for a long time to come, to kill Camren. That means the whole fandom. Not just invasive elements. But really all the CS. The purpose was to make us feel guilty. The purpose is to make us accept that it was never real, and since we care about them, to make us continue to support them individually and not as a couple, even though she knows that the real CS do it regardless. This, is called manipulation, guys.
Think about everything else too. The inconsistency. The holes in her story. The lack of explanations. And the fact that during the story of how it all happened, she jumped from one theme to another and therefore managed to deflect and not completely finish one before moving on to the other, doesn’t it make you understand that she didn’t want to give too many details? And when does that usually happen? She knew we’d analyze her. She knew she couldn’t say too much. When she talked about Lucy, she knew that WE know she was talking about Camila, and with too many details, it would also have been obvious to the others because WE would’ve pointed it out to everyone. I mean, it’s obvious enough in itself, imagine if she’d fed us more information that we would’ve compared in the timeline.
Please, guys. I know that it feels like something’s changed, but it’s not. It’s really not. I’m appealing to all of you. Open your eyes. Reason. I know many of you still have conflicting emotions and feelings, and that’s okay. If you’re still upset, if you still wanna cry, then cry. Do whatever helps you feel better because, especially after the haters have come to bite your asses, you’re entitled to feel the way you do. But please, please, don’t give up. If you give up, you just play their game. You just do them a favor. You guys had invested so much of your time, so much of your passion, so much of yourselves to just, give up. Think of all we’ve been through, especially those who’ve been in the fandom for years. Think about how happy Camren makes you. They were there for you when you needed them. When you were going through hard times. I know they’ve helped a lotta people.
And think about this too. Lauren herself said at the beginning of the podcast: “The news and the media are constantly spinning narratives for your clicks so they can make money”. And what do you think this podcast was for? It’s always the same shit. Have you not noticed how the very same news and media have ALL talked about them? Didn’t you notice how My Oh My magically returned into the charts? How 50ft surpassed the 9 million streams on Spotify? And you still have doubts?
This is instead for the CS who get often angry about their actions. I personally think it’s pointless to blame Lauren and Camila for every single thing they do that has been PLANNED for them. Especially Camila as far as Shonas is concerned. There’s a pattern here too. Lauren had her light PR with Lucia. Lauren then had her heavy PR with Typic Dole Sight while Camila had a light one with Eatchu. And now Camila’s having a heavy one. C’s one is heavier simply because they’re much more famous than PRen (Tyren) were. So, guys, be patient. There’s really no point in getting angry and blaming them. It’s a waste of energy. It’s useless to blame them if they’re gonna continue to do so over the years to come. They’re just still trying to get past their original contracts and survive in the industry at the same time. Sooner or later, I HOPE, they will be free to tell the truth or the truth will come out on its own.
Well, I’m done. Jeez, that was long, wasn’t it? But I hope it was worth it. I hope I’ve cleared your heads a little bit and instilled some hope again. I also hope I made you smile with all those nicknames and my sarcasm. I especially hope that wherever you are, you’re having a good day, and if not, then I hope it has improved at least a little bit with this post. And thank you so much, Stuck. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to use my voice for the first time publicly/virtually. You, above all, keep on being one of the lights and NEVER let them turn you off. I love you guys. Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay patient. With love, F.
I leave you with these two pearls:
Number 1. Lauren said something else too. She said: “Don’t trust me. Go research. Go look this shit up yourself”. I know she said it for a completely different context, but I found it really funny given the situation.
Number 2. This is a small scene that automatically created itself in my head as soon as I finished listening to Wonder. I titled it: The sad and short story of the making of ‘Wonder’.
Enjoy:
*on the phone*
Shawl Mendicant: “Hey, buddy. I know you were a huge Fifth Harmony fan and I know you love my fake girlfriend, so I was thinking… could you help me? You know, I need her to stay relevant, but to do that, I also need to release music and completely take all the credit from other people because, you know, the most I do is change a sentence or two in my style to make people think that I wrote all my songs.”
Sam Smith: “………okay?”
Shawnita Menorrhagia: “So, I was wondering, can I copy your homework? You can totally refuse if you want to, but I’m hoping to appeal to the love you have for 5H and Camila, and maybe help a friend out?”
Sam Smith: “Yeah, sure, you can copy my homework. Anything for my girls. Just, change it up a bit so it doesn’t sound too obvious you just copied it.”
Shonas Mended: “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Thanks, man.” - *ends the call*
Sam Smith looking at the phone with an incredulous expression and one hand over his heart: “I came out as a non-binary, you insensitive asshole!”
Shoes Mentionable from the other room: “Cameeela! He said yes!” *reaching then Camila and Lauren in the living room where Lauren is lying with her head resting on Camila’s legs who’s running her fingers through her hair with one hand and holding the book that she’s reading with the other one* “You were right, all I had to do was mention you girls.”
Lauren chuckling and continuing to pet Cleo who’s lying at the foot of the couch with one hand: “Told you”, to then adding: “And please, I know you’re excited because of the news but keep your voice down”, continuing to caress Sofi’s head who’s sleeping on top of her with the other one.
Shapeless Mentality: “Oh, sorry.”
Camila without looking away from her book: “Sam’s really nice. I’m sure they would’ve said yes even without the need of mentioning us.”
Lauren: “Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, babe. Yes, they’re very nice, but we’re powerful in their minds, so it was an added incentive for them to say yes.”
Shaved Mentholated: “Who are they? Weren’t we talking about Sam?”
Camila who was giggling at her girlfriend’s words:
Lauren:
Sinu from the kitchen:
Cleo who was nibbling her toy:
Even Thunder, Leo, and Eugene from outside into the yard:
*the end*
Chon Mendable: ‘Wonder’ - Sam Smith: ‘One Last Song’
____
OMG I am speechless. I’m really still digesting this whole story because it’s amazing but I wanted to start by saying hello to you and telling you my name, my name is Marite. It is a pleasure to meet you dear friend. I don’t want to write too much because your words are much more important than mine but I wanted to thank you for trusting me and my blog to tell me your story. That side of the story that, being new and not having been a harmonizer from the beginning, I never learned. I intended to ask for more information about Laucy’s Timeline but what you have told is a gem. A gem that shows that the bastards of the industry cannot fool the fans because we pay attention to everything and it is not easy for us to fall for their shit. I think the power we fans have is so great that if we all came together, we could bring down this whole fucking fake empire that they have created. That said, Laucy’s story is surprising. As planned and how each person involved had to do their part on the chessboard. Incredible. Now that you tell me that story, I think it fits the one I wrote in my once upon a time post. Sure, yours is true and has everything that mine doesn’t. I have tried to keep this blog open for all who wish to come and air their ideas, their thoughts, their tea. And you dear friend, you have been one of the best so far. You’ve given us that support that the fandom so badly needed and I really appreciate it. I also appreciate your humor, the nicknames have been so hilarious and I’m still laughing. Thank you for daring to tell this part of the story and reopen the can of worms of a PR that right now resurfaces with that Lauren interview. With a purpose, it’s true. And something tells me that we will see much more very soon. Thank you for your support, my friend. And you know, you have my blog at your disposal for whatever you need. And if you need to talk or anything else. I greatly appreciate that we can continue to keep this ship afloat among ourselves. Among a group of intelligent people who have been hurt by someone we have always loved very much even though we know the reason for all that. We can’t give up now because if we do it like you say they will win and I personally don’t plan to indulge them in that. Thank you very much for all dear friend and I hope you have a nice day. I send you a hug and I hope you stay safe.
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life-rewritten · 3 years
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Gifts of BL! Aka Christmas Goodies For BL Fans Who Want Important Discussions About   Representation.
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Oh wow, we're closer to Christmas. Where has the time gone?. So here's a gift for you all—another list of great BLS that will make you have a great time. If you find it fun rewatching and feeling all the emotions from these love stories, then I hope you enjoy these. Today I bring you guys a list of recommendations for our sometimes serious, sometimes heartfelt, sometimes innovative educators in BL that are very much needed.
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Ah, The educators, the teachers, the serious topics, the displays, the emotional moments. Some of these shows decided to surprise me when I came in expecting something odd and not realistic; only for them to break my heart but also humble me and teach me and others some of the crucial conversations we need to have about LGBTQ+ representation in BL. We have couples discussing about their sexuality accepting they are gay or bi(Yes not just in love with only one person but they actually embrace their sexuality), we have essential coming out scenes and looks into the mindsets of people who struggle with coming out and being in the closet, we have supportive families that have to learn and show our characters warmth because of their own experiences, and we have metaphorical outlooks of what it feels to have to please society with the result of losing ourselves. These are the great BLs, they break our hearts, but they make it hopeful to see people who go through their issues and come out in love, strong and protected and supported. Their journey is worth it, so if you want to find some shows that give you these feelings, then join me and let's look at these great representations in the BL genre. 
BL has a bad rep. How could it not when the reason BLs were created was for straight girls who fangirled about two boys kissing. Not that I even hate fujoshi's, you're allowed to be whatever you want, like whatever you want as long as you don't cross the line and make people uncomfortable with outrageous demands or actions (like the fujoshi's in some BL shows). But BLS has become something more, though some people refuse to take them still seriously and doubt their authenticity, some people refuse to accept some shows as BL, they instead just call it a queer film or tv. But why? BL has become a place for people to run away into a fantasy of stories where there's drama, romance, comedy, mystery, passion and more. BL can be anything, and in 2020 BL showed it could be anything, it could be serious and well produced and not filled with its past problematic enquiries, it could be funny and still tug at the heartstrings, it could be deep and painful and full of lessons but still have a happy, hopeful ending, it could be any genre it wanted, from supernatural, action, thriller and more. BLs improved and also became a source for the representation of LGBTQ+. And I think that's beautiful. It might have a taken a while for people to learn, for own voices to find a way to write new shows, for risks to be made. But 2020 saw the influx of BLS that weren't just fan service but actually art or just good stories with a great message. Here are some of them. 
Thai 
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Dark Blue Kiss
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It's weird to say that Dark Blue Kiss is an excellent representation for the qualities needed in this list. But what can I say apart from the overbearing, jealous plotline and some irrational over reactiveness with some of our characters. Dark Blue Kiss and Kiss me again has always been a show that has been worth it. Dark Blue Kiss is one of the first Thai BLs, where we saw a supportive parent, and that's Pete's father. He's incredible; he's everything that's healthy, understanding and helpful. He makes jokes with Pete about his relationship but also supports and gives him advice. He's protective and sweet when it comes to Kao and Pete, and they are themselves when they're with him even daring to speak about things like intercourse etc. It's incredible; he was a breath of fresh air for parents we usually encountered in this genre. He had discussions with his son, and in doing so, we saw his son also have more conversations and discussions with his partner about what their sexuality was, why they should come out as a couple, why they were scared to do so, what was holding them back etc. Pete's dad isn't the only supportive parent with advice and warmth, we later also add Kao's mum to the list, she's always known about Pete and Kao and was waiting patiently for Kao to come on his own and tell her. It's incredible. Dark Blue Kiss brought out conversations that didn't seem meaningless, there was an actual exploration of the fears some people have with coming out, and it was brilliant and wonderful to see on screen. Honestly are we shocked? It's Backaof as the director; all his shows should be on this list, every single show of his explores these topics with care and heart. And it's incredible.
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Why it's a gift
Deep conversations and moments where you see two people learn and wonder about their sexuality and how the world may react to it. Supportive parents that are understanding, helpful and sweet. A relationship that's incredible despite its flaw, shown wonderfully and thoughtfully. Even the hurtful moments like when Kao gets outed and also has to struggle with claims of being a predator is done well and leads to Kao finally accepting his fears and coming out to the people he loves. By the end of it, all Pete and Kao are back together, happy, finally healthy and mature. Dark blue kiss also explores these two ambitions, their dreams, their ideas for the future and more. And it also has a great friendship group worth stanning. Pete and Kao aren't the only couple in this show worth praising and noticing you also have Mork who goes through his own acceptance of his sexuality once he falls for Sun, they're also great and also have their own plot revolving around dreams, jobs and character and angst. A great side couple in BL.  It's amazing. 
Special mention:
My Dear loser: Another Backoaf directing, no words this is incredible, I think everyone knows how great this is despite the BL coupe being a side couple, that may have an ending that feels unfinished. You can watch both this and My sky for a full experience. This deals with everything so well and also has a great support system from friends. Chimon is such an amazing actor in this.
As always I leave a gift: 
LINK HERE FOR MY DEAR LOSER IN/SUN CUT
DARK BLUE KISS EDIT FOR PETE KAO THEIR STORY
I told Sunset about You
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I mention this show on every list; it's like not even a surprise anymore to see it. There's a reason why this show is incredible why people prefer to see it as a queer film instead of BL. Why people think calling it a BL is an insult (which I think why? A BL should be allowed to be seen as a good form of representation). This show has it all. Honestly, a great production company behind it, acting that's phenomenal, and a story that will blow your minds each time you watch it and try to piece it together. What's even more respectful about ITSAY is that it's a coming of age done well, it showcases feelings of the youth and how feelings are seen as a storm that can't be stopped. 
Especially when you are struggling to understand your sexuality, we have two characters, Teh who learns as he grows that he has uncontrollable, addictive and crazy feelings for his best friend, they're drawn to each other, but Teh can't understand what he feels, he doesn't know what this means. He struggles to comprehend it as well with his struggles with ego, pride and selfishness because of his young age. Then we have his best friend Oh Aew he knows what he is, he also is torn apart by feelings when Teh reenters into his life, he also struggles through losing his self, individuality and his confidence because of his feelings for Teh. It's brutal, but one thing stands for sure, these two are meant to be together, these two love each other. Why is this so great? Because the directing and production of this show is serious, every single scene counts, every single action has a meaning, but also this show has incredible moments that show you the struggles of internalized homophobia. 
It's something that's always mentioned in BLS as a struggle. Still, this show used scenes to show it, like for example, OH wearing his mother bra because he wished he was born a girl to be with Teh. Still, then he breaks down in self-loathing only to later stand up and embrace who he is, and Teh who finally comes out to his brother in a heart-wrenching scene; another supportive and healthy relationship who understands him and tells him it's okay to be who he is, to be with Oh, to be brave and take a leap to what he wants. His brother's conversation is everything someone who struggles with the same issues wants to hear; it's a healing effect, a hopeful and painful realization that some people don't have someone like Oh and Teh's family who help them and let them accept who they are. 
It's a journey of discovering the truth about how so many people have to go through this fear because of what society put in our heads, it's a wake-up call, but the fact that ITSAY has a happy ending despite all the realistic representation and angst is a hopeful meaning for everyone who saw themselves in Oh and Teh. It's incredible. 
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Why it's a gift:
It's unbelievable; it's not told to you but shown to you the amount of struggle some people can have when they're coming of age and realizing their sexuality. It's a beautiful representation of what it's like to fall in love: the angst, pain, healing but also sabotage, and the growth. It's produced with so much effort and hard-work and research on what would be an excellent story for LGTBQ to see. One of the best made BLs; this is not us being dramatic. 
.A Gift for You
GREAT OST PLAYLIST OF ITSAY
An Edit For Teh/OH 
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He's coming to me
Another Backoaf, directing masterpiece. This show is incredible. Like words can't explain how good this show is. Words can't describe what a gift this show still is. How much a BL like this was needed. First, this show is already unique; it deals with supernatural world-building, with ghosts and mysteries of death/murder, it deals with also coming of age, and falling in love and accepting your sexuality. It has two confirmed gay characters who we see explore and finally reveal who they are, they've both known and as they fall in love, they have to go through the angst of what it means that they love each other. 
It's incredible, not just because of the fact that Thun's ability to see ghosts and his need to hide that also mirrors his need to hide his sexuality, the way he breaks down later after realizing that people won't let him just be him or the way people made him feel bad for being who he is. The way that Mes also went through the same thing before he died, and the person who connected them was Thun's mom. She's incredible, and I still believe the coming-out scene of Thun to his mum is one of the best as incredible as his confession on the rooftop to Mes as he breaks down in the rain because he's afraid he's been left. 
The amount of repressed feelings these two hides is insane, and when they later confront it,  it's like OMG really they knew about their feelings all along? It's incredible, with a show that already has an incredibly well thought out plot about ghosts and supernatural, but it also has two characters that are fleshed out, who both have discussions with everyone around them about what they are and the way they have a happy ending after all the angst and tears. It's worth it thousand times over and over again. This show is just great. And no one else can do it like Backaof he just has the most excellent formulas: supportive family members, supportive friend unit, serious conversations about sexuality and feelings, important relationships and no censorship, unique plotlines and risks. He's incredible. No words.
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Why this is a gift?
The actors are also one of Thailand BLs veterans. Both of them are incredible and nuanced in their scenes; they make you cry, scream, sigh, and swoon. They make you learn, and it's fantastic, they're amazing people. They're worth it both Ohm Pawat and Singto, their performances are incredible. Every character in this show is fleshed out and necessary, the plot makes sense and isn't written haphazardly, and the directing is phenomenal. Watch it. 
A gift for You
He’s coming to me the whole show
PINOY
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Gaya Sa Pelikula 
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This time we have the Philippines if Thai isn't your cup of tea I guess. This show is just, so great? It was made with the intention for representation, a love story to the LGBTQ community, actors devoted to researching and learning about the topics presented in the show. This show is outstanding, no words, it's not preachy, but it's still educative. Not one episode goes back when you don't see the effort and brilliance of this show; each message of each episode is so important and needed. The story isn't afraid to explore topics which haven't been shown correctly in this genre, and it's so good they did. 
We have two characters, one a gay out guy (Vlad) who is very bitter about everyone and how they treated him, he's dying to be loved for who he is, and he's desperate to find a safe space where he can be himself loud and proud, he falls in love with another (Karl) who is more in the closet, with secrets that you discover later about his circumstance he's not sure of who he is and as the show progresses he and us get educated about everything. He learns to accept that he is gay. 
This show is about self-acceptance, love and healing. By falling in love; our characters are forced to question everything about who they are, what they've gone through and how that shaped them, and we realize that both perspectives is right in their own way. The show is for people who feel like the guy who's out, who wants to be proud and tell the world he's in love but also it's for people like his partner who feel guilty for struggling and having anxiety about accepting who they are, but this show doesn't force him out, it doesn't force them to be together, it just becomes a realistic story full of hope about the future of these two. It's a healing show; it makes you question your self, it makes you go through your own journey of how you feel you're perceived in the world, it takes you on a trip of your own self-learning, exploration and discovery. And it ends making you feel grateful for the experience of it all.
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Why it's a gift:
 I think the best thing about this show is the other extra gifts it brings. It's music playlist, it's like your own gift bundle of new artists to explore and listen to every song is beautiful and needed, with different messages and feelings, you will find one music you love in this playlist, and you'll end up spending hours weeping about them. But it's beautiful, it's euphoric, and the show is worth it. The show has amazing actors and a great team of people behind the scenes. The writer is brilliant, poetic and serious; he knows how to make a plot. He knows how to teach you without you feeling patronized, he knows how to humble you if you didn't know anything before. He's just great. 
A gift for You
GSP OST PLAYLIST- THE BEST
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Gameboys 
I haven't mentioned this show on here before, which is sad because it really should be praised. It's an outstanding show that showed up during a time where the world was on pause. Gameboys provided a gift for everyone who looked for something during the lockdown in the pandemic. The fact it revolves around events in the pandemic, it uses it as a great plot device and has important moments that touch your heart and make you reflect on the situation without being too heavy. 
Gameboys is incredible; it also has a unique storyline, a Gameboy and his fanboy who falls in love with him and is confident he can win over his heart. Except, our Gameboy Cairo has to go through some self-exploration first, some self-healing and acceptance, some coming to terms with guilt and self-hatred he feels for things that happened to his past. This show makes you cry, so bring the tissues, I mean every show on this list probably does, but this show has so many moments, we have supportive parents, but even in a more heartbreaking way, we have warnings of what happens when people selfishly out people, the consequences of that, how much anxiety and fear you can have as you deal with internalized homophobia and being in the closet, how it affects family members, and what it means to finally accept who you are and stand up for who you are. It's brilliant, painful, but it also makes you grin from so many heartfelt moments we needed during a dark time. The actors are also amazing, and they make you feel everything they feel so naturally, they're also three dimensional and have exciting character arcs. There's a great support system as well in this show, with the best friend, who makes you smile whenever you see her. This show is worth it. 
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Why is it a gift? 
I feel like without knowing it Gameboys was an actual gift for everyone who was struggling during the pandemic, it showed the reality of what was going on, but it also showed healing and hope and happiness derived from being in quarantine and lockdown. It showed that even in lockdown nothing had to stop, we could still fall in love, grow and learn about our selves if we wanted to. It also had a great love story to follow that was both funny, romantic and heartfelt. The directing was genius also, and it touched many people. It was outstanding. 
A gift for You
ALT GAMEBOYS: A SIDE STORY FOR ONE OF THE CHARACTERS
JAPANESE
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Cherry Magic 
Finally, we come to this gem of a show. What else can we say about Cherry Magic? Oh I know, no one expected this Japanese BL to be so full of heart, joy, magic but also depth. This show is just ridiculously good, it's not as painful as the other shows, it's slower and more softer than the other angst in the other shows, but this show still tugs at your heartstrings and makes you laugh and cry. It deals with everything that has already been mentioned: self-acceptance, questioning of sexuality, trying to please society that you lose your self, being brave and finding your self, loving your self, etc. 
It's just so great, it's also unique a story about magic and reading minds that our main character has. As he realizes his person (Kurosawa) loves him, we watch Adachi struggle through self-hate, self-deprecation and anxiety to finally come out of his shell and become who he wants to be. This show has an incredible love interest who's just wonderful, he's the ideal man, but that doesn't mean he's one dimensional or stale. 
He's also deep, and has his own flaws and hurts, and the way he loves Adachi is just breathtaking and frankly makes you so jealous. Why is this show for representation? Because it's a slice of life of an office romance, it deals with what people go through in life, the gruels and requirements from work whilst also watching both our characters choose to be brave and come out to each other and pick each other despite their fears about what their environment thinks. 
These two are each other's healing, comfort, support system and they both have incredible personalities. This show is also quite deep, you wouldn't think so, but when you listen to the dialogues and watch some of the scenes, you'll see how deep this show can be for its characters whilst still being fluffy. It perfectly represents the fear of coming out and coming to terms of having feelings for someone you weren't expecting. Its message is more hidden, but it's still great for conversations about representation, in my opinion. 
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Why it's a gift?
It was made as one; the last episode is coming on Christmas haha. This show takes some tropes of BL and chooses a healthier option, it also just fleshes out its characters incredibly, you watch how Adachi and Kurosawa changed each other's life without knowing and how their love keeps being needed by each other in many ways. It also is called Cherry Magic, because this show is magical, it makes you grin, be happy and excited from seeing one episode, it tugs at your heartstrings whilst making you blush and squeal from happiness. Its softness is something to look forward to after a hard day of whatever real life looks like to you, it has a healing effect, a warm effect and it makes you smile and forget your troubles in those few minutes. It's wonderful. 
A gift for You
Adachi and Kurosawa EDIT
I hope you enjoy these shows they’re all incredible, they’ll surely make you smile and be happy. They’re all important in their own way, if you haven’t seen any have a go and see which you love. Let me know if I’ve missed some, to be honest I chose the ones that had scenes with important discussions that make you think or scenes that bring out emotions and feelings but also make you learn and realise something. Hope you enjoy the recommendations or if you’ve watched them before hope you enjoy the reviews and commentary. Merry Christmas guys :)
Other recommendations
GIFTS OF BL FOR FANS WHO LOVE ANGST, DRAMA AND PASSION
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that-stone-butch · 3 years
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Hi can I ask for some general advice? I’m femme and single and every day that I don’t have a lovely butch in a leather jacket smooching me is another day wasted. I just want a older butch to call me sweetheart, change my oil, and roll us a joint while I make them dinner while wearing a pretty dress so when I bend over they can see I’m not wearing anything underneath! Is that so much to ask!! Where are they?? How do I flirt with butches when my friend turns into Silly Putty around hot women?
Or, more specially, how would YOU like a femme to approach you/ask you out/express interest? Granted, most of it is online at the beginning, cause there aren’t very many if any queer spaces in my area that are open, and even then they were 97% gay men anyway. I’m very much a bottom and a sub so being the one to break the ice and get the ball rolling is very strange and difficult for me, but I also know that a lot of butches can be shy at first so I gotta Just Do It. Help me Jasper, you’re my only hope….. to get laid.
I'M your only hope? oh NO! i'll do my best! obviously i'm not every butch but i'll do my best to bring my perspective into this. i've never participated in hookups and casual sex, all of my flirting experiences have been geared towards building a relationship. but for the most part, i'd wager the 'showing someone you're interested' credits transfer. on that note, if anyone has input on more casual experiences, i genuinely invite them to add on to this post.
okay so it seems like we should separate the advice into online flirting, and irl flirting. let's start with online.
it's always better to make a good first impression rather than come on too strong, in my experience. start with a compliment, keep it light and respectful. in general, i find that the best compliments are things that someone *chose*. as someone who gets constant online 'compliments' (spoiler alert it's actually catcalling), i'm NEVER flattered when someone opens with talking about my body. 'your jawline is incredible' isn't the ice breaker it sounds like; maybe i'm self-conscious about my jawline! you don't know, you're literally introducing yourself with this. like so many people compare me to men and male actors, and they think i'm going to take it as a compliment? the very POINT of opening with a compliment is that you DON'T know what people do and don't like about themselves. maybe you like tall girls, but just because you do doesn't mean the person you're interested in is proud of the fact they're tall. ESPECIALLY in trans and gnc spaces, you just don't know what relationship strangers are going to have with their own bodies, and opening with that is just going to display a level of entitlement that is a bit of a turn-off, personally. so compliment people on things they chose, like their attire or aesthetic or tastes. it's really flattering to hear someone say 'hey, i also like that thing you *chose* to make part of your whole deal.' from there it might be the case that someone likes and enjoys hearing compliments about things they didn't necessarily choose, but you really should test the waters first.
additionally, compliments like this break the ice because it's also a thing you would say to a friend? it's my experience that good relationships always grow from good friendships. even if your conversations don't end up in a relationship, or casual sex or whatever, you can still end up with a friend which is a great thing (butch/femme friendships are something we don't talk about a whole lot as a community, because we focus a LOT on sex, but they're life-changing like my femme friends make my fucking day). it can be difficult online to make your intentions known; you don't have the subtext, body language, all the things that help you further communicate your intentions in person. that's why, online, it's good to make your intentions known after you've built up a good rapport with someone. strike up conversation, find things in common, and after a little bit it's perfectly respectful and okay to tell someone you're interested in them. however, and i cannot stress this enough, do NOT be vague about your intentions online. at least in my case, it's very easy to misinterpret people over text. (who am i kidding, tumblr is the internet capital of people misinterpreting each other). be plain about your intentions. from there you might talk logistics, trade phone numbers (use encryption! use signal!), agree to focus on building a friendship together, part ways, etc. get to know people, ask them questions about themselves, show them you're engaged and interested.
i want to take a second here, especially for younger people reading this, just because someone is gay and/or you're into them doesn't mean you should be unsafe with your information. play it close to the chest, if you're going to meet up meet up in a neutral location. DON'T meet people from the internet in your home, or theirs. exchanging addresses is something to do well after you know you're in a safe situation. ALWAYS be ready to bail. be safe.
as for in-person, i'm sorry to say but in my experience you ARE likely going to have to make the first move. for a lot of butches (and femmes) being out and about is kind of a gender battleground. the LAST thing i want to do is make someone uncomfortable, especially as a masc woman. a misread signal can be dangerous. additionally, i want to say you should NEVER hit on someone who can't leave the situation. never hit on someone just doing their job (unless they're stating very clear intentions toward you from their position. it's sometimes okay to flirt *back* with people on the clock, but still give them space to back off) because you're putting them in a VERY uncomfortable situation.
in-person flirting for wlw is kind of fraught with some difficulty in that you need to signal that you're gay. for me, as a butch, if someone hits on me and they don't signal very hard that they're gay, i'm left wondering if they even knew i was a woman. i've had straight girls hit on me, it's the weirdest fucking thing. now, i'm not equating femme presentation with looking plausibly straight or whatever femmephobic brainrot is floating around out there, femmes ARE gnc and do so in a unique and beautiful way. but being wlw, especially what feels often like a 'gender outlaw,' you're often plagued with self-doubt. sometimes it's easier to believe you're misreading someone as gay and they were just being friendly (or just being friendly AND are gay, as i said earlier that happens and that's a GOOD thing).
i find, in person, it's a good idea to open with a compliment that specifically recognizes someone's butch presentation. if someone says 'i love your hair, by the way' i'm IMMEDIATELY in blush mode. it feels so good to be recognized when i'm out and about, when so many people just decide i'm a man to validate their own worldview, or think they have to compensate for my presentation, assure me no i'm pretty i look very feminine, to validate me as a woman. meeting someone in-person, that you're interested in, it's validating and refreshing to just be seen and shown that someone's interested in the way i'm putting a lot of effort into presenting.
that said, never push people. if you see someone at a coffee shop, campus diner, bookstore, etc. that you're interested in, as with online it's a good idea to aim to leave a good impression. chances are, you might see that person again. i'd rather have someone see me, flirt a little, and then approach me *again* the next time they see me, then go all-in intense the first time. obviously it's smart to play it by ear but if you feel like you're coming on too strong, it's a good idea to back up a little. but that's just me.
above all, remember to have fun with it! flirting is fun, and if you're trying to tactically align your flirting with someone too hard toward a relationship, it kind of loses a little something? i find it's usually a good idea to approach people with the genuine intention of making a connection, and seeing where that takes the two of you, rather than trying to *get* someone to reciprocate. keep it fun! keep it light!
i hope that helps! i'm sorry i don't have more experience, if anyone has something to add, they're welcome to!
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