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averageallogene · 9 months

Note

Resubmitting because my WiFi weirded out when I was posting.

Jean convinces Diluc to dump you for her, because you are, in her own words, 'Not noble enough'.

With nothing holding you back in Mondstadt, you return to Inazuma to take up your Clan duties.

Less than a year later, you receive Diluc and Jean's wedding invite and you attend with Ayato as your plus-one.

At the reception, Eula instantly recognizes your Clan crest on your obi belt.

Jean proceeds to mock you as she makes her rounds to greet her wedding guest and Eula defends you, stating that your Clan is the overseer of the Tri-Commission *and* the First Clan of Inazuma, out-ranked only by the Raidan Shogun and Yae Miko. And you are its Clan Head.

Diluc ♡⊹˚ Not Enough (SFW)

fem. reader (3rd person) ; angst. cw for jealousy, heartbreak. Implied Ayato x reader.

4k words.

notes. Alright I am back with a bag of piping hot telenovela drama! I had a lot of fun writing this, even if I fear my Jean and my Diluc turned out a little ooc? Oh and Ayato is a petty menace. Well, suffice to say I took some liberty with this one- I hope we can just slide past through it and I’ll get better at their portrayals eventually <3. Enjoy!✧˖°

The tranquility of Mondstadt, accompanied by the welcomed breezes it brought daily, was enough for anyone to fall in love with the country. The land of the Anemo Archon was blessed with peace, as well as a beauty to behold as its people were one of the most welcoming [F/N] had ever come across. It had been enough to compel her to stay a little longer when she’d begun traveling around Teyvat, with it bringing something more that urged her to remain there.

Diluc Ragnvindr, an otherwise very well known bachelor of Mondstadt, had certainly caught her eye. The feeling seemed to have been mutual, for [F/N]’s appearance and Inazuman style of clothing definitely stood out amongst the usual crowd. It had begun friendly enough, the winery tycoon seeking information regarding the Inazuman palette when it came to alcoholic beverages. Of course, as a businessman Diluc had plans of expanding to other nations, with or without vision hunt decrees meddling in the middle. During that time, [F/N] had remained in Mondstadt, visibly stressed with the fate of her country. Thankfully, she had a friendly shoulder to rely on on the same wealthy bachelor. It turned out Diluc wasn’t all appearances, his very being burning with a gentleness that was enough to swoon the young woman off her feet.

[F/N] was far from her family during said time, and exchanging letters was difficult. She’d never been exactly too open when it came to them, yet no one wished to pry. With the borders closed, she had next to no possibility of returning without possibly being detained, regardless of status. War reeked with personal vendettas after all, and to someone of high status as herself, many would indeed covet to take what was hers amidst the chaos. Unbeknownst to her, it had been these early signs of trouble that had helped her in convincing her father of letting her seek out the world whilst she could, sending his only daughter off to the land of the free before she too were to be caged down by duties and unfortunate circumstances.

Homesickness was terrible, but thankfully she had Diluc to aid her. Together they’d spend time together, whether that was in Angel’s Share as the bustling tavern closed its doors for the night, or whenever he offered her to have a tranquil walk through the Dawn Winery. His estate had quickly become one of her favorites, the scenery and the sound of the rustling leaves bringing an inner peace strong enough to temporarily wash away her worries. With the more time they spent together, they found more in common that they had, including dreams, plans for the future, even hobbies. It wouldn’t be difficult to find the pair reading by the fireplace, or even discussing various topics while enjoying a game of chess, hence many murmurs of Diluc’s sweetheart beginning to circle throughout Mondstadt.

Still, he was a traditional man when it came to such affairs. Diluc was one to take things slowly, yet it was more than noticeable the way he held her hand gently, the way he’d open doors whenever they arrived somewhere, the way his hand would linger on her lower back as they walked through the streets. It wasn’t as though they were official yet, but to [F/N], it was more than apparent she was being courted. And truth be told, her heart couldn’t leap any higher. Sadly, her expectations would come crashing to the ground, coincidentally just as the climax of the vision hunt decree took place miles away in Inazuma.

Diluc had grown hesitant, a little distant even. He was a man to remain firm in his beliefs, yet with the right approach and from the right people, even the most determined man could falter. He’d told [F/N] of stories of his childhood, of happier times when his father was around, of times he and Kaeya got along well. Of times he had friends over at the winery, when his mind would only be preoccupied with fantasies he’d construct with his friends at the height of their innocence. [F/N] had listened to him happily, content with the idea of him having a good childhood, of having good friends. Good friends such as Jean Gunnhildr. [F/N] had noticed the way her glance would sparkle at him, yet they were only friends he’d reassured her, and it would’ve definitely seemed as such before it no longer did. The young lady wasn’t ignorant; the way Jean eyed Diluc paralleled the way she did as well, yet she had confidence in the chance she had with him until he’d taken the first step backwards.

He’d been calm, gentle with her upon shooting her down. His heart was murky, he had too many responsibilities. He had a lot to take care of between his tavern and his winery, as well as other responsibilities she wasn’t aware of. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to commit, and he was most sorry for leading her on. [F/N]’s heart broke with the way she was shot down, yet she gracefully smiled still, thanking him for his honesty. Even though she was the one being rejected, the woman placed a friendly hand on his arm, ensuring there were no harsh feelings, as well as wishing him the very best. Wishing that he soon find himself, reassuring that she would always support him. The urge to cry was strong, more so with the way his often gentle gaze shifted away from her. Yet, [F/N] persevered, pushing back any theories her mind crafted as the man she’d grown to love was swept away from her fingers.

A gut feeling whispered to her that Jean had been the instigator, yet with no concrete proof, [F/N] was left out in the rain as Mondstadt grew less and less picturesque. The winery didn’t feel welcoming anymore, the once bustling streets of the main city were now noisy instead of charming. The mere sight of the crest of the knights of Favonius irked her, for it reminded her of the woman she knew was the reason Diluc had grown distant. In all her years of education back in Inazuma, [F/N] had grown to know when a rival struck through the shadows. She’d grown to realize the subtle signs, yet she’d held on faith for her beloved’s friend. It had proved futile, and now, bitterness replaced the fondness she’d held for the city of freedom.

[F/N] held a letter that had finally reached her from her home country, bags being packed by the few escorts that had arrived to retrieve her. She’d arranged for them to only move at night, lest she wished to have unwanted attention on her as well as the Inazuman samurai her bedridden father had sent for her. Her duties ripped her out of her wishes to remain in Mondstadt, reality beckoning her back as her dreams were left behind with a broken heart, swept by the breeze.

Ironically enough, Kaeya, of all people, had been the only one to notice her that night. There was the faint scent of wine on him, yet he was still sober enough to have a coherent speech. He’d waited for her by the city walls, a small expression of regret as he inquired if she really had to go. The relationship between the brothers was brittle to say the least, yet Kaeya would’ve been a fool to deny how Diluc seemed happy with her. How he liked seeing his brother happy. The Cavalry Captain voiced his wish for her to stay, explaining how he enjoyed her company, how Mondstadt did. It stung [F/N], yet with a sad smile, she told him she couldn’t stay even if she wished to. And without explaining further as to why she had to leave, Kaeya suddenly let out with a bitter chuckle.

“Is it because Jean sees you as not noble enough? I can assure you [F/N], no one here really cares for such superficial reasoning.”

It had struck a chord in her, for her suspicions were confirmed. All of this heartbreak had stemmed because [F/N], no matter how hard she tried, would never be one of them, the children of the wind. She was from the land of lightning, and apparently to some, appreciating and learning of their history wasn’t as good enough as being directly related to it. Her hands grasped her coat tightly, and with a curt response of how it was due to other things, she’d thanked Kaeya for everything before leaving the city in the middle of the darkness.

The voyage back to Inazuma had been long, but even more so bittersweet. She’d just arrived in time to say a final goodbye to her father, too sick to even get up from his bed as he held her hand one last time. He could see the heartbreak in her eyes, yet he was too weak to inquire on who was the monster to hurt his beloved daughter. All he could say was that the future of their clan lay now on her hands, the pressure nearly suffocating her. Amidst the conflict with the vision hunt decree, her eldest brother, who’d sided with the rebellion in secret, had been murdered, his drink poisoned. And even as justice had been served, life needed to move on, leaving the seat of Clan Head now to her.

Days in Inazuma were vinegary. Her homecoming had been filled with heartache, having lost her brother, and soon after her father as well. Days, weeks, months, they all passed in a blur, [F/N] focusing on the heavy task of overseeing the tri-commissions as she donned her clan’s crest with pride.

Not noble enough, it kept repeating inside her head every day, every time she put her obi on. The young woman hated to admit it, but the pettiness of it all had become her drive, fueling her as she surpassed her father in more aspects than one. In a short amount of time, she’d proved herself as a worthy ruler of her clan, an iron fist masked with elegance and grace as her name grew more and more respected by all the other clans.

Despite her secluded life filled with responsibility, as well as her still distrusting heart, [F/N] allowed very few people in. She could count her friendly acquaintances with solely one hand, but amongst them were the Kamisato siblings. Businesses aside, they were able to lay down their crests for an afternoon every once in a while, enjoying each other’s company over finely brewed tea as they watched the sunset together, recounting stories to one another as time flew by during such leisure moments.

It had been during one such rare occasion, that [F/N] found herself enjoying tea with Kamisato Ayato, his sister busy with her own set of duties whilst the Commissioner took a much needed break. His trained eye could see how she was tense, eyes lowered as they remained narrowed with a bitterness he’d known all too well. Gently, he’d inquired if all was well, and with a quick glance, [F/N] debated if she should burden the already busy head of the Yashiro Commission with her petty bickering.

“You should know by now that I’m not one to ask things out of courtesy, [F/N].” Ayato had calmly stated, an enigmatic smile dancing on his lips as she took a sip of her tea. “I’m genuinely inquiring about your well-being, for I do in fact care. So please, if something is troubling you, do not hesitate to say.”

And with a heavy sigh, the woman placed her cup down, before finally coming clean. From her large sleeve she revealed to him a sealed letter, one with a wax stamp of nothing more than the Ragnvindr clan displayed on it.

“It seems one of my acquaintances back in Mondstadt is about to get married, and has decided to invite me to his wedding.” Ayato hid his grin of amusement with the way she spat the word acquaintance with such distaste. It was enough for him to have an inkling of what could’ve transpired during her stay in the land of the Anemo Archon. “I suppose it’s his way of voicing his wish of letting bygones be bygones, but I cannot help but taste the sweet irony of it all.”

“Oh? Has he, perchance, hurt you deeply?” He’d inquired, watching as she lowly nodded her head.

“I was under the assumption he’d been courting me,” [F/N] revealed to her friend, remembering the way her heart clenched upon first reading its contents. The fact he was marrying after such little time apart, and to Jean no less, still filled her broken heart with such indescribable bitterness. “But then… Nevermind. I was needed to return, regardless. One way or another, it would’ve ended in tragedy.”

“My deepest condolences.” Ayato spoke softly, his hand gently resting atop hers before holding it cordially. “Do you intend on skipping the wedding? Just know there is no shame in doing what’s best for you.”

“I’ve thought about it.” She sighed, holding his hand back with a thankful squeeze. “Yet, I can’t bring myself to shut him off entirely either. He was, after all, someone who had helped me a lot during my stay in Mondstadt.”

“Ah yes, the heart is a most complex little thing…” Ayato breathed out, a faint smile on his face as he offered her an understanding glance. “When is it taking place?”

“In about three months.” [F/N] had nearly sulked, still glaring at the letter as if her sheer glance could burn the whole thing. Ayato had simply nodded, before insisting she take a little longer to reflect on what would be best for her.

In truth, Ayato decided to free up his schedule for three months into the future. Not only could he be a little petty when it came to his own allies, he truly did care for the well-being of his friend. In all honesty, perhaps it was best he didn’t know the full details of how she’d been shot down, lest he make an even bigger, yet still elegant, ruckus. In the end, he’d offered his company were she to decide on going to the celebration, and against all odds, [F/N] had accepted. With Ayato by her side, the young woman felt a sudden surge of confidence. Perhaps it was the idea of her being accompanied by a kind, and well accomplished man, that had her feeling that way.

And with her confirmation letter being sent with the intent on bringing a plus one, time was the only thing between [F/N] and her return to Mondstadt. Diluc was surprised she’d accepted, but he couldn’t deny he was happy. In all honesty, he truly wished for them to start over, for her friendship was deeply valued to the man. Jean on the other hand, was a little flabbergasted she’d accepted. To her, it had solely been a courtesy to send an invite, yet she’d be lying if she hadn’t predicted her decline of attending their wedding. Despite the slight disappointment, the Lionfang Knight was already stressed as it was; perhaps it would be best to just ignore it, and prepare for their big day as best as she could.

The day for their voyage had arrived, and true to his word, Ayato accompanied her on their ship. Everything had been prepared, their duties being fulfilled by others for the duration of their trip. It was a much needed breath of fresh air, a small vacation he’d joked, smiling with eloquence even when he wasn’t one to enjoy large group gatherings. He’d insisted that he and [F/N] both dress in their finest clothing, for they were representing their Clans on foreign lands, and by extension, representing Her Excellency as well. Their crests displayed proudly on their clothing, made of the finest silks and brightest tones, arms linking together as [F/N] held her fan to her lips as they finally disembarked at the docks.

Ayato had surely made a statement with the entire entourage he’d organized for the two of them, it almost seemed as though he indeed knew of what had been the reason given for their breakup. Then again, [F/N] thought, perhaps he did know. Ayato was a man of many means after all, who was to say he hadn’t read her bitterness like an open book? The way [F/N] looked at him smiling in that knowing way of his didn’t help her case, either… Well, it was too late to go back, anyway.

The way they’d arrived on Mondstadt had certainly caused an uproar, citizens watching in curiosity as the samurai escorted them to the hotel where they would stay until the day of the festivities. Most of the Knights of Favonius were busy as per usual, away from their arrival save for the guards stationed at the city gates who had warmly welcomed them upon confirming their identities and the purpose of their visit. Gossip was quick to follow, yet Ayato paid no mind, calmly chatting away with [F/N] as they were led to their rooms.

News of wealthy guests from the east reached the couple’s ears, yet neither Diluc nor Jean paid much mind. After all, Diluc had many wealthy acquaintances, most of them stemming from his businesses within the wine industry. All he cared for was to ensure all their confirmed guests had indeed arrived, including [F/N]. And upon being told she had in fact, he only nodded his head, not inquiring any further. Him and his bride were much too busy making the final preparations after all, and unbeknownst to him, Kaeya only watched in the background, an amused grin on his face as he patiently waited for the big show.

The bells rang with vigor on the big day, [F/N] jolting inside her room as she wasn’t exactly used to the way their Church would announce anything so loudly. Ayato had already finished preparing, smiling her way before offering his help in adjusting her obi.

“You look positively beautiful.” He’d stated in a matter-of-fact tone, watching as she smiled at him with an honest, thankful gleam. “Ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” She had sighed, nodding her head as she inwardly psyched herself up to go forth with the day. And without much issue, the pair left their hotel and made haste for the sight of the ceremony.

Amidst the sea of guests, their presence had gone mostly unnoticed. It was best as such, [F/N] gazing ahead as she watched the man who she’d once thought would be the one marry another woman. Her heart still clenched slightly at the reality, yet Ayato’s presence helped her in grounding herself as she took a deeper breath. Her arm remained around his, admiring how beautiful they looked, how happy they gazed at one another. Even if Jean forever held a deep stain in her eyes, she couldn’t deny how radiant and gorgeous she looked in her wedding gown. The warm glow of the church veiled around them in a romantic manner, the union finally being tied as the main ceremony came to a close. For the first time in a while, [F/N] found herself smiling at the sight of Diluc with another. Perhaps, she thought, she would eventually get through this. Even if it still hurt, even if she still thought back on how she hadn’t been enough.

Customs between Mondstadt’s weddings and Inazuma’s weddings differed, yet she and Ayato found themselves easily following along as everyone moved on to the reception. It was during this time that the guests began conversing more freely with one another, finally having a look around as they noted who had come to support the happy couple, who had come with whom. It was during this time that [F/N] could feel eyes on her, glances of surprise to herself and her partner being shared as she commented on how the food was delightful with Ayato.

“Is that… [F/N]?” Eula had commented with Kaeya, who had nodded his head with an amused grin on his face. Despite the elaborate way she dressed when in comparison with the way she did when she had stayed in Mondstadt, nothing could escape her eye as a noble herself. “She looks radiant. And the man beside her…”

[F/N]’s voice could be heard not far, Ayato relishing in the way his comment had brought a laugh out of her. He patted himself on his back for having gotten the willpower to deal with such a packed event, for the way his friend seemed more relaxed had been more than worth it in his eyes. They kept on chatting together, a select few female acquaintances of [F/N]’s joining them as they soon found more company to converse with.

“[F/N]! It’s been so long… How have you been?”

“You look amazing, [F/N]! I heard you’ve returned to Inazuma suddenly, is everything alright?”

“Who’s your friend there, [F/N]?” Followed with a knowing wink, causing the woman to blush before denying their accusations any further.

Despite everything, the attention directed to a corner of their reception definitely wasn’t unnoticed by the happy couple, more so by the bride as her violet eyes gazed around. Jean found herself surprised upon landing her eyes on [F/N]’s face, recognizing her rather quickly despite the intricate ornaments she wore on her hair and the delicate makeup. She looked stunning, she thought, before stopping herself and clearing her throat.

Her wandering gaze hadn’t gone unnoticed by Diluc, whose eyes followed before landing on [F/N] as well. It took him a moment to register who it was, and when it did, his shifting expression caused a stir of emotions deep within his bride.

“[F/N]?...” He’d muttered, Jean squeezing his hand lightly to return his attention to her.

“Come Diluc, we have to thank everyone for coming.” She’d hastily led him to the table where the rest of the Knights dined, all raising glasses of champagne and wine as the couple approached them.

“Ah, Diluc, Jean! The ceremony was wonderful,” Lisa had smiled their way, a giggle following. “I nearly teared up at the vows. Goodness, weddings always make me so emotional.”

“The food is also delectable.” Kaeya grinned, his glass rising slightly above the others as he gave his brother a nod. “Congratulations to the both of you.”

“Congratulations! May your years be blessed with happiness and good fortune!” Amber smiled brightly.

“Yes, congratulations.” Eula complemented, smiling softly as Diluc held Jean close.

“Thank you everyone for coming. It is an honor to share such an important day with you all.” Diluc said with the utmost sincerity, smiling softly as Jean rested her hand on his chest.

“It’s a great pleasure.” Eula’s gaze narrowed as she could sense an unnecessary comment bubbling within Kaeya’s chest. The way he grinned spelled trouble, and just as she predicted so, the man swirled his glass of wine before he continued. “Of course, we wouldn’t miss your wedding for nothing! But perhaps it’s to those who’ve come from the furthest you should extend your greatest gratitudes.”

“Of course, we intend on thanking everyone as we go around every table.” Jean huffed with a small smile, still not following where he was headed. She rested a hand on her hip as she raised an eyebrow softly, Diluc too eyeing his brother as if expecting more.

“Oh, that’s great! I was beginning to think you were rounding around [F/N]’s table on purpose. But then again, you must still be thinking about how to properly thank her, no?”

“Kaeya!” Amber sighed, shaking her head as the mood slightly shifted around the table. The man simply shrugged, sipping on his wine before sighing with content over the wonderful undertones, as he explained.

“Ah, Diluc! Congratulations, you lucky bastard!” Varka’s voice roared across the reception hall, hands plopping down on his shoulders as he laughed loudly. Diluc could only remain awkward as he quietly thanked him, the Grand Master practically whisking him away as he further congratulated him and gave him lessons on how to ensure his wife’s happiness.

“Honestly, I was surprised to know she’d be coming.” Jean watched her husband not stray too far, finally letting out a small sigh and folding her arms across her chest. “I’m still not quite sure how we’re going to address this, as her presence seems… Rather ill-intended.”

“Oh?” Kaeya’s gaze turned to her from the corner of his eyes, finding her choice of words amusing as he let her ramble on.

“Diluc had voiced his wish of inviting her, and thinking it was just a formality I decided to agree with it. But for her to actually accept and show up seems bitter.” It was clear the stress was racing to her head, the table listening awkwardly as she rambled on. “While I understand it still must hurt given the circumstances, we would’ve hoped she would’ve let bygones be bygones. I simply find her actions to lack in-”

“Nobility?” Eula scoffed quietly, eyebrow raising quietly before watching Jean hesitate if she agreed with her or not. It was her turn to cross her arms, speaking directly to her. “I find it quite the opposite. I think that accepting and coming by to show her support shows just how noble she is. After all, for the head of her clan to not show up would’ve been scandalous. Do you know what kind of rumors that would start up, Jean?”

“Wait- Did you just say head of her clan?” Amber repeated, her eyes widening as Eula nodded her head.

“Yes. Haven’t you all realized? Look, notice [F/N]’s obi.” The group found themselves rather indiscreetly gazing towards [F/N]’s table, the crest displayed with pride as she enjoyed Ayato’s company. “It’s the crest of the first clan of Inazuma, otherwise known as the overseer of the Tri-Commissions of the nation. Basically, it’s the oldest still standing clan of the nation, only surpassed by the Archon herself and their Guji.”

The table slowly digested the information, Eula proving yet again just how well educated she was not only to what concerned Mondstadt, but aristocracy of other nations as well. Her legs remained crossed as she finished explaining herself, leg bouncing lightly as she battled with herself to remain cordial despite not having quite liked her friend’s statement. Even if Jean was overly stressed, or their situation with [F/N] hadn’t been ideal, it had most definitely been an unnecessary comment.

“Besides, the man next to her is none other than the head of the Yashiro Commission. Their Commission has many duties, including overseeing ceremonies and rituals that do include weddings. So, her choice of companion can most definitely be seen as yet another layer to her virtuous acceptance of your invitation.”

Kaeya found himself grinning unabashedly at the way Jean glanced away, clearly embarrassed with the outcome of the situation. She still held her arms crossed around her chest in a defensive manner, the Cavalry Captain thinking it would just be best if she left to avoid any further hits to her pride. For the first time in a while, he found himself agreeing fully with Eula, letting her take the reins of the situation as Jean’s ego was put in place. Sure, Kaeya liked Jean. Yet still, he couldn’t deny he thought [F/N] would’ve been a better match for Diluc. Call him petty, but he was enjoying the situation.

“Sorry about that,” Diluc sighed as he returned to their side, his hand resting on Jean’s waist as he gazed around the table. “Erhm, everything alright? You all look, how should I put it…”

“Nothing to worry about.” His brother grinned, waving his hand dismissively as everyone began eating their food. “You go and thank everyone for coming by, yeah? Enjoy yourselves, after all it’s your wedding day!”

Despite the confusion with his sudden upbeat tone, Diluc simply nodded, leading his bride to continue on going through table to table. Needless to say, now that it was he who took the lead, they soon found themselves at [F/N]’s table, the man surprised to see her so intricately dressed and in the presence of someone of such stature.

Nonetheless, and despite the sudden lump of awkwardness that lodged itself in his throat, Diluc took his time to properly thank them for coming, [F/N] simply gazing at them and replying it was their pleasure. Ayato was the one to take charge in their response, smiling cordially as he basked in the way his bride seemed to avert her gaze from them. If looks could diminish someone’s presence, Jean would’ve been long gone, reduced to atoms. And Ayato would’ve been lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying it, holding [F/N]’s hand with such delicacy as if they were more than friends.

And as they left, he carefully leaned over her ear, watching as she met him halfway to hear what he had to say.

“Well, that was amusing. Perhaps next year we should invite them to our wedding. A fun retaliation, no?”

“W-What?”

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin diluc x reader #genshin impact diluc x reader #genshin impact x reader #diluc ragnivindr x reader #genshin angst #genshin impact angst #yoko drabbles

761 notes · View notes

adnauseum11 · 1 month

Text

I.E.D. (John Price x Reader)

John breaks the news of his imminent departure.

2.2k words

CW: swearing, mild violence, alcohol

This work is part of the S.N.A.F.U. series, the Masterlist is pinned to my blog as well.

Feedback welcome!

IED = Improvised. Explosive. Device.

Masterlist

Ao3

It takes less than five minutes for John to completely eviscerate your plans after he returns from his phone call. He’s watching you absorb the news with an infuriating calm expectancy. You can feel your face flush, disbelief and hurt washing over you in equal measure. There’s a dull rushing in your ears, and you have to ask him to repeat himself as you slowly set down the wreath you are unpacking.

“I have to go, tonight, in a few hours.”

He’s standing close, his hand smoothing over your shoulder and neck, tracking your reaction closely.

“What? You’re leaving? In a few hours?”

You can’t help the shocked whine in your voice as you process this news, even as you hate how needy it makes you sound.

“I can’t say too much but I’m required on a mission, love. I’ll be gone for a few days at least, probably a week.”

His tone is careful, mollifying, which only serves to heighten your distress.

“Out back in the field? You said you turned it down!”

“I did. This isn’t that.”

“Oh…right. Well, then by all means, that makes it fine.”

You can feel your face get hot and the prickle of tears behind your eyes, but you clamp down on that reaction like a dog with a bone. Anger is easier.

“Darling, I know this isn’t what you wanted to hear –“

“No shit.”

You deadpan flatly. John has the good grace to wince, holding his hands up in placating gesture.

“There’s extenuating circumstances here, love.”

“Since when are you still even entertaining these contracts?”

Your fists clench at your sides, the urge to swing something at his head building with every passing moment of this hideous conversation. You march away from him instead, hoping some distance will help your impulse control. He follows but wisely allows you some space.

“I’m not, not really. This is different. It’s just… bad timing, darling.”

“You’re really leaving me here at Christmas, alone, with no plans and not even a job to go to? Seriously!? At least there would be other people at work, John! I wouldn’t be forced to be alone! Did you even consider me before you agreed to this!?”

“Darling, this wasn’t planned.”

“But you’re choosing to go.”

“I have to go, it involves me.”

His temper finally makes an appearance, his whole demeanour becoming unyeilding.

“I’m sorry - I thought I heard you say you were involved. How the fuck are you involved in anything; you’ve been retired for a while now.”

You shake your head, trying to make his words fit with what you know of his life. John hisses a curse, his sudden discomfort with the topic setting off alarm bells in your head.

“John.”

He drags his palm over his face in a gesture that belies his reluctance.

“John.”

“I’m involved in that it’s tied up with a mission I was on years ago. We thought it was put to rest and I guess… it’s not, anymore.”

He answers finally, his explanation sparse. He doesn’t want to be having this conversation, you can tell by the way he’s holding himself, his back and arms rigid. He rarely discusses his work with you, a topic you have by mutual agreement left well enough alone for years. Your anxiety means you can’t handle hearing the details without spiralling, and the nature of John’s work often precluded any details from being available, a situation that suited you both. Now you’re pulling teeth, trying to get to the bottom of this turn of events, neither one of you used to it.

“And why do YOU have to go, why not someone else, who is active?”

“I’m part of the group they’re looking for.”

“Looking for.”

You deadpan again, the words sounding hollow as you repeat them back to him.

“Darling, I can’t really disclose anything, you know that.”

“Right. But someone is looking for you.”

“Someone is looking for the men that were on my taskforce, hence why I am involved, yes.”

John nods, his jaw tight. You pause to take in this tiny bit of information and a sudden bolt of realization hits you. The man in your apartment hadn’t stolen anything, he’d been looking for something.

“Were they looking for you in my apartment?”

John’s face falls and you feel your stomach drop. His reaction tells you all you need to know. Some awful part of you can’t help but need to hear the truth from his own mouth, like running a finger over a bruise.

“Suspect the break-in was related, yeah.”

His tone is hesitant, but the words rankle all the same.

“Why are people looking for you at my apartment, not here?”

John refuses to answer, staring you down with pressed lips.

“Why John?”

You repeat yourself forcefully, hands finding your own hips. You can tell the moment John decides to relent, whatever mental math he’s doing not adding up to his liking.

“Looking for a way to scare me, is the assumption. Use you to hurt me.”

He finally speaks, his gravelly voice low. A cold chill runs down your spine and you look at the man in front of you with what feel like fresh eyes. Danger lives closer to John than you had ever stopped to fully imagine.

“Were you going to tell me, or let me keep thinking it was a random break in?”

“Darling-“

He starts but stops immediately, reflexively scratching his whiskered cheek in uncertainty. You can read him like a book, instantly piecing together the reason for his hesitancy is he doesn’t like the way the truth sounds.

“Oh my god, John, I’m so mad at you right now I could spit. What the fuck?”

“I just want you safe, that’s all that matters to me. I didn’t want to frighten you off.”

“So, moving me in here, talking me into quitting my job, all that was to do what?? Keep an eye on me?”

“I want you here. It also happened to be the safest course of action. Both things can be true. And I didn’t talk you in to quitting your job, I just stopped talking you out of it, love.”

John’s uncharacteristically defensive, a wrinkle between his arched brows.

“You told me to rely on you! And now you’re fucking off over the holidays with no guarantee you’ll make it back! And I’m what – being watched or stalked or something?? And you weren’t going to say anything??”

This time you can’t help yourself from the impulse, grabbing the nearest reindeer figurine off the kitchen island and hurling it in his direction. John easily sidesteps it, his eyebrows shooting up in disbelief at your eruption. You grab another figurine but John is on you before you can haul off and throw it, grabbing your wrist.

“Oi! Knock it off!”

He barks at you, using a voice you’ve not heard turned in your direction before. You drop the deer on instinct but glare at him, your jaw jutting out in anger.

“I don’t have any confirmation that someone is watching you I just prefer to limit the possibilities for vulnerabilities when I’m not there to mitigate them.”

“Fucking speak English, John, I don’t speak military”

You jerk out of his grip, putting some distance between you again. If you weren’t so agitated you would have an easier time of focusing on what he’s saying but it feels like your heart is sinking through the floor, heavy with disappointment and doubt. Another recent memory asserts itself, hitting you like a sucker punch.

“Oh my god, the pub? You kept saying you were concerned for my safety; I really thought you were just jealous.”

You can feel the blood drain out of your face, your heart pounding as things slowly shift in to focus. The last few weeks were unrolling in a completely different context for John you are realizing. The sweet and protective gestures taking on a completely new layer of significance. John holds his hands up, trying to ease closer to you again but you take another step back, feeling the kitchen counter behind you. John stops moving, the expression he’s wearing strange to you. He’s always so confident that the look of uncertainty is alarming on his face, making your thumping heart press against your breastbone painfully.

“I don’t know if that’s related. It’s unlikely. Like I said, nothing is confirmed. Just…playing it safe.”

John admits, his face settling into worry.

“You weren’t going to tell me any of this, were you? You were going to keep manipulating me. You just needed to keep tabs on me so I didn’t get caught up in whatever the fuck is going on.”

It’s not a question, it’s a confirmation.

“That’s not true, of course I want you around. I love you, darling. You wanted to quit. I didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do. I just made it safer.”

John sounds a little desperate, the sound grating and unnatural to your ears.

“I don’t want to be alone at Christmas, John! I didn’t even know it was a possibility for you to be gone until minutes ago! Now you’re leaving on a mission and I’m what? Just supposed to sit here until you get back? That’s not love, you didn’t consider me at all. If you come back. Oh god.”

You feel a sweep of nausea and grip your stomach, pitching forward at the waist in discomfort.

“When I come back, the threat will be neutralized. Not doing all this for fucking maybes.”

“Alright, you know what - yeah you, you should go.”

You suddenly agree, crossing your arms over your painfully twisted stomach. You can’t remember the last time you were this upset with him, it’s been literal years. John curses under his breath, unable or unwilling to argue with you. He’s immobile, watching you intently for any clue as to your head space.

“Darling –“

He’s using a careful tone of voice and reaches for you again but it makes you flinch.

“Don’t John. Just go do what you need to do. It’s fine.”

“It’s clearly not fine, darling.”

He retreats, hands on his hips, and you can feel his eyes locked on your face.

“For the purposes of this conversation, it’s fine.”

There’s an excruciatingly long pause before John responds, his voice soft. You refuse to meet his gaze, staring at the spot the missing reindeer should be in.

“We’ll talk when I get back, yeah?”

You don’t answer, giving no indication you’ve heard him. Your insides feel like glass, one sharp breath away from shattering. Trying to reconcile the man standing in front of you, who’s been purposely keeping things from you with the man you’re in love with who bends over backwards for you is taking more brain power than you can summon. You’ll be damned if you cry in front of a man who is actively manipulating you. Taking your cue from the ceramic deer lining the island, you freeze in place.

John either gets the hint or gives up because he leaves you in the kitchen, breathing carefully in the corner of the cabinets. You barely dare to move, everything feeling surreal. You eventually tuck yourself into your spot on the couch, buried under the blanket when John returns, his rucksack slung over a shoulder. He drops it at the door and you track it’s fall, determined to look at something other than the concerned man boring holes into you with his eyes.

“I don’t want to leave like this. Talk to me please, love.”

“Don’t, John. This is what you chose.”

“I chose to keep you safe the best way I know how. I didn’t choose for this situation to crop up now, it’s beyond my control. I love you darling, I’m not –“

“You say you love me but you don’t trust me, John. You don’t want to tell me things because your scared of how I’ll react. It’s not fair. You’re making choices that affect me too but I’m not part of the conversation. I just…I’m really pissed with you right now. And I doubt you have time to sort it out.”

You stay tucked under the blanket, your eyes finally meeting John’s across the expanse of the room. You can tell your point lands when his shoulders deflate, his posture shifting.

“You’re right, I don’t have time.”

He agrees, crossing the room to stop in front of you. You have to crane your neck to keep your eyes on his face until he bends to kiss you. You realize his intention and turn, giving him your cheek instead of your lips. His palm strokes over your hair before he backs off with a heavy sigh, scooping up his rucksack again.

“We’ll figure this out when I get back.”

John gives you one last reluctant look before he closes the door behind him. You can hear the lock turn, and your heart lurches, the finality of the sound chilling.

You spend the rest of the night on the couch, alternating between drinking a bottle of John’s expensive white wine and crying until your face is raw and hurting. You only briefly consider sleeping in John’s big bed alone, the idea so thoroughly off-putting you reject it nearly as soon as it crosses your mind. If anyone had asked you how you pictured your evening ending, face down in the couch cushions, drunk and alone wouldn’t have crossed your mind as a possibility.

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lokisprettygirl · 5 months

Text

Close Ties (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Modern AU) (Non canon) (18+)

Read Chapter 7 // Series Masterlist

Chapter 8

Summary : After your respective confessions Daemon sits you down to discuss the new development in your relationship with him.

Warning: 18+, dad's best friend trope, canon (we don't know her..don't like don't read), feeling of hopelessness, slight uncle kink if you squint, familial uncle niece sort of relationship but he's not really her uncle, there will be more smut later, significant age gap but reader is in her mid twenties, mention of infidelity, divorce, smoking and alcohol drinking, physical violence implied

Note : i know in fiction we tend to dramatize things (as we should sometimes) so this chapter might feel boring, underwhelming or a bit too realistic but that's how I wanted to keep it for this series. Not a fan of grown men acting like teenagers hence my take on this Daemon is different. Okay enjoy 😊

You were sitting in Daemon's cabin, your heart racing and palms sweating as you waited impatiently for him to return. Even as work hours had ended his work didn't stop. He had gone to meet some people and had asked you to wait there for him because he wanted to drop you home today.

And ofcourse discuss that unspoken thing between you two. You were kind of happy about the alone time you were getting to have in his absence because you needed some time to process what he had just said to you before he left. What was going to happen between you two now? All your life he has been your Uncle Daemon but now both of you had confessed to having romantic/sexual feelings for each other so where do you go from here?

As he finally returned your heart was pounding and threatening to explode in your chest, you couldn't bear the tension.

“Darling get your bag, your parents are back and they want to see you” he said as soon as he entered so you quickly got up from your chair and you were ready to go. On the drive back home you were quiet because you didn't know what to say, even he seemed lost for words, he wasn't even looking at you.

Was he embarrassed? God you hoped not.

“Ummm everything okay?” You asked finally as you couldn't bear the complete silence anymore,

“Yesss”

One word answer? Yeah you didn't need that right now.

“Mom and dad are fine right?”

“Mmmhmmmm”

“They have been going on a lot of trips lately..that's nice, dad really never had much time in his youth and she always wanted to see the world” he turned his head to look at you as you said that.

That's not the reason why they were taking trips together but he couldn't tell you anything just yet.

As you reached home you found your parents right in the living room so you immediately went in for a big warm hug..

“How's my sweetie doing at work Daemon?” Your mum questioned him so he smiled.

“She's a fast learner.. Doing really well” you looked at him as he praised you and he quickly averted his gaze. Truth to be told he was feeling a bit ashamed of himself at the moment, not because of the confession but because of the way your parents trusted him so deeply to take care of their daughter, especially your mum.

What would they think of him once they find out about this situation between you two and that he didn't exactly have innocent intentions for their daughter?

At the dinner table, you struggled to keep your eyes off of Daemon who had taken the time to shower and change into a comfortable white t-shirt and trousers. All you wanted to do was snuggle against him. However you couldn't help but feel as if he was ignoring you, you didn't want to jump to conclusions so you figured that he was probably just trying to not give away anything in front of your parents.

You felt a level of guilt as well, if you and Daemon choose to go down this path it might just wreck havoc all over again and you didn't really want that, you didn't think you'd be able to get over if he was to leave again..

After dinner you spent some time with your mum as she seemed a bit stressed..you had put down your head in her lap so she began to caress your scalp.

“You know you should dress more appropriately in front of Uncle Daemon” you gulped as she said that, you just had a sling night dress on that barely went past your thighs.

“What do you mean? It's just a night dress” you chuckled as you sat up suddenly,

“I know..you know we have never stopped you from doing anything. You're a good girl but he's just a man, a single one now that he's divorced..” you couldn't help but giggle at her words, she was your mother afterall, could she sense that her old friend was up to something? You hoped not.

“Mumma he's not like that you know that”

“I know..he's a decent man, always has been..but in the end men are just that ..men and he had a fling with Cass didn't he? How is she by the way, I haven't seen her lately" she asked you and Cassandra really was the last person you wanted to discuss right now.

“How was your trip?” you asked her to change the subject so she sighed deeply.

“Tiring” she smiled “I bought a souvenir for you from the states. While we were in LA..we bumped into Stella. What are the odds?” you gulped again as she said that,

“You did? Ummm what did she say ..How does she look now?” your tone was inquisitive, you had never really liked Stella even when everyone was besotted with her, perhaps you were just jealous. You remembered her being mean to you on occasions, she had that typical rich snobby girl vibe that you disliked so much. And you were jealous.

“Well she's still the same as I remember her..she asked about Dae, she kept saying that she always wanted him to go back to London with her as she liked it here but he never budged”

You rolled your eyes as she said that.

“Of course she did…I feel like she's the reason why he left, maybe she didn't like it here and wanted to go back to her home so she influenced him somehow..did you ever find out what had happened between him and umm dad?” you asked her so she sighed again.

“I honestly don't know..I have tried enough times to make your father open up to me but he never did, he and Daemon are sewn from the same cloth. Both stubborn and insufferable at times" you chuckled as she said that. She wasn't wrong though. You had asked Daemon about what had gone down between them but he refused to tell you anything. You didn't really understand why.

As you ascended the stairs and made your way to Daemon's room, you knocked on the door, but he didn't answer so you turned the knob only to find an empty room. He hadn't come back yet, he was in your dad's office downstairs discussing business.

You probably should have turned around and left but a part of you wanted to bask in his scent that was soaked in every inch of that space. You found his clothes that he had worn today scattered all over the bed so you picked up his shirt and wrapped it around your shoulders .

“God you're such a creep y/n”

You placed the shirt back down and took a seat on the bed in a sensuous position with your legs crossed and arms placed elegantly on the mattress ..or you tried. You still didn't know the nature of your relationship with him so this felt blasphemous.

A few minutes later he finally entered his room and as he saw you he gave you a small smirk,

“Mum thinks i should dress appropriately in front of you..is this not appropriate Uncle?” He walked towards you as you said that, the smirk stayed.

“A nighty that is barely covering you is sure as hell not appropriate love”

God you wanted to moan just from him using that voice on you.

“What are you doing here?” He asked you so you stood back up.

“Just wanted to talk about..you know what” he sighed as you said that.

“We are going to talk..I'm not going to cross a line and ruin our familial relationship for a few nights of fun” Daemon's voice was serious and firm as he spoke, and you could tell that he was weighing his words carefully. He reached out to grab his coat from the bed and wrapped it around your shoulders, covering your exposed skin.

“Who said I wanted just a few nights of fun?” you argued so he smiled,

“I assumed..you're still young ..i had all my fun in my twenties” he reverted

“I'm not a slut like you” he winced as you said that.

“Touche..first thing first you need to stop calling me Uncle when it's just you and me” he told you and you agreed.

“ Okay Mister Daemon”

“Just Daemon is fine”

“Okay.. Just Daemon”

“Sit down” you sat down immediately as he said that, he reached closer to you and at first you thought he'd kiss you but he just cupped your cheeks and leaned down to kiss your forehead before he walked away from you, pulled an armless chair from the corner of the room and sat down right in front of you.

“Do you know how old I am?” he asked you.

Stupid question you thought.

“Mmhmm freshly turned forty three”

“Do you know how old you are?”

“Will soon turn twenty six”

“That's eighteen years of age gap..almost a generation apart”

“I know..my math is not that bad”

“Don't get sassy with me right now” You bit on your lips to stifle the smile that was threatening to escape your lips “Your dad is wealthy and famous...you could have anyone in the world you'd put your eyes on. Are you sure this is what you want? Even if temporarily” His tone was a mix of uncertainty and genuine concern he felt towards you.

“If I could have anyone then why not you? All my life I have been around people who just wanted to use me because of my dad. What makes you think I'd ever want a boyfriend or a husband who'd marry me for the same reasons?” you answered him confidently and it made him smile. You were always such a good girl and that's what made this harder for him. He didn't want to ruin you.

“What makes you think I'm not doing the same thing to you? I'm certainly broke and homeless and I desire to regain the wealth and status again. Who is better than one of the most influential men in all of the UK to bring me back to glory? After all what's his is going to be yours someday” His voice was low and laced with a subtle hint of sarcasm,

“You won't do that to me” you said to him softly,

“Why not? Perhaps I'm just playing the long game..”

“You're not ..i have felt it..your care, your beautiful heart, I know you Daemon Targaryen” he couldn't help but smile at your words,

“I do care of course, but how do you know that I'm also not lying to you and using you for my selfish purposes?” he asked you so you smiled.

“Because i have known you all my life and a wise man once told me to look into the eyes of the person you are talking to and you'd know whether they're being truthful to you or not..that's how I know you're not lying to me..i see it in your eyes” his eyes immediately and so quickly teared up as you said that “Besides if you wanted to use me you'd have made your move the first night itself but you didn't, you waited for me to do so, that tells me everything I need to know about your intentions”

He smiled as he looked down, he was so proud of the kind of person you had turned into, perhaps it was your upbringing.

“Alright.. Do you understand the consequences of this thing between us?” he asked you, his voice was turning softer and softer with every question.

“I do”

“Does it scare you?”

“Yes, alot”

“Do you think we can go back to being just uncle and niece if you're bored of me after a few nights? When you see the real me and not the man you have built up in your fantasies? When the mirage is broken and I am all bare in front of you?” He looked at you with a mixture of hope and fear in his eyes, his feelings for you evident in every word that came from his mouth.

You got down on your knees and placed your hands on his thighs which made him shudder so he leaned back into his chair, he was hoping you won't see the erection he had now after seeing you in that position.

“I don't think we can just go back but what makes you think you won't be the one to get bored of me? I'm nothing interesting…especially in bed” his brows furrowed as you said that. He couldn't imagine you being anything but a submissive little freak in bed, you just had that aura surrounding you, he noticed how your face flushed every time he was tough with you at work or commanded you to do something.

“Then I'll teach you my ways, I'm certainly not a novice in that department. I stayed in a broken marriage for more than a decade with a woman that wasn't half decent as you...what makes you think I'd give up on a girl who's finessed so perfectly inside out?”

Your face felt warmer as he said that, no man has ever made you feel so desirable as he did in that moment and he hadn't even touched you yet.

“What if we have no chemistry in bed? And it's all just the forbidden aspect of the relationship that's pulling us to each other?” you questioned him so he chuckled in response.

“Entirely possible but you don't need to worry about that, chemistry is precisely why we are in this predicament in the first place” his tone was playful as he said that. Even if there was that one percent chance that you both would have no compatibility in bed he was going to build it up from scratch but he won't hurt you for something so superficial.

“Mmmhm..i didn't think of that”

“What are you looking for in this relationship? Considering we will get to have one” he asked another question, he could feel your fingertips caressing his thighs gently, the touch was making him lose his concentration.

“I date to marry .. always have”

“What if I don't want to get married again..ever?”

“Then we don't marry”

Why did this feel so normal he wondered? Discussing such heavy subjects with you came so naturally to him.

“What if I want children in the future?? Is it something you'd want?” he asked you so you smiled

“Mm never thought about it..what if I don't want kids in future.. but just me and you?” the smirk on his face reappeared as you said that.

“I have gone forty years without procreating..could easily go forty more”

He was a dreamboat wasn't he?

“Mmmm..I'd have to address you as Uncle in public still”

“That is highly inappropriate but we don't have much of a choice here. What if I want to take this thing slow and don't wish to defile you the moment I have your consent?” he asked you so you smiled.

“You can go as slow as you want as long as you are mine..all mine”

“Words have meaning you know..you can't just speak to me like that if you don't really mean it”

“What makes you think I'm playing with you for fun?”

“Because I'm insecure, I don't think I am what you deserve or need in your life”

You stood up and sat down on his lap as he said that, god you had envisioned this scenario a million times in your head so when it was really happening, it felt really surreal, your arms curled around his neck as you hugged him tightly.

She did a number on him but you won't allow him to feel that way ever again, that if he'd be yours for eternity

He wrapped his arms around your waist, the coat he had put on you was discarded on the floor, he could feel the heat emanating from your body as you clutched onto him.

"You're all i have ever wanted..i literally had everything growing up but you" you whispered in his ear so he put his head down on your shoulder and sighed..

“Thiss is not easy for me" his voice quivered slightly as he continued "Acknowledging or accepting that I'm lusting after a girl I have known since she was twelve..it's not easy. What would she think of me?” he said to you softly so you pulled away a little and cupped his cheeks, he was torn between his feelings for you and his own sense of morality, and it was clear that he was struggling to come to terms with the situation.

“I know..but I have lusted for you since I was twelve, when I didn't even know what this meant and that girl that you're worried about disappointing? She knew her Uncle Daemon would never hurt her, she trusted him implicitly with her life and her safety and she never would have judged you for choosing to love her differently when she's all grown up, an adult in her mid twenties. You are lusting after me ..I'm not that child you knew, i have grown in every possible way and you're attracted to that part of me..but you have always cared about me..all parts of me”

Tears slipped down his eyes so you wiped them with your thumbs before you kissed his forehead, always wanted to do that and it felt as satisfactory as you thought it would.

"Also..that twelve year old me would be screaming right now if she could see this" he chuckled as you said that but then his smile faded again.

“You're so young my darling pixie. I don't want to be a mistake you'd regret all your life or be something that ends up holding you back. You have so much potential and a bright future ahead of you, and I want to make sure you're able to reach it." The words slipped from his mouth with an almost paternal affection, and you could hear the genuine concern in his voice. He truly did not want to be the cause of any harm or regret in your life - he wanted the best for you even if it meant he'd have to suffocate his own feelings.

“Even if it turns out to be a mistake you should know I'd never ever feel regret for you..” you said to him so he placed his fingers on your chin and made you look him in the eyes.

“Time is going to catch up with me..I'd only get older and less attractive..you'd not even be the age i am currently when I'm already hitting sixty” he said to you but it only made you smile.

“Is that supposed to discourage me because you have only gotten sexier with age so far”

“Mmmmhmm? You are going to lie and tell me that I look better now when I'm all pudgy then I did before when I had visible abs?” his voice was playful but you could tell he was insecure.

“You have no idea how badly I want to snuggle against you and this thick body of yours right now”

He gulped in nervousness as you said that and then his cheeks flushed. Everytime Stella cheated on him, the men she chose were always shredded and jacked, so he killed himself everyday to look the same but he had given up now, he didn't have to impress her and he certainly didn't need to impress you..you were willing to take him as he was.

He cupped your cheeks and his fingers brushed over lips, eyes looked at you as if you were the best thing in the world.

“Besides, it's not just your body I'm attracted to ..it's you ..all of you Uncle..your age is the last thing I think of when I am thinking about you” You squeezed your eyes as the word uncle slipped your mouth, force of habit you feared.

“That's so dirty”

“What is?”

“You calling me that when you're dressed so immodestly and straddling me like that” he murmured against your mouth, voice barely audible.

“Godd are you going to kiss me or not”

“Patience sweetheart..”

“I have been patient enough” you leaned into him so he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you away from his lips,

“Mmhm? Have you been a good girl?”

“So good.. uncle” you said it on purpose this time because he seemed to enjoy it, the hard on was a clear indication.

“I must be a complete degenerate to get turned on by that” he whispered as he kissed the corner of your mouth, being as teasing as he could be.

“I don't mind that at all”

“Ofcourse you don't..you were always a naughty girl”

Your breath hitched in your chest as he talked down to you. God you really didn't want to be patient, you just wanted him to take you in his bed right now

“Worry not though, I'll make sure you never step out of line without my permission.”

And you were a goner.

None of your antics worked on him because he made you get off his lap and sent you back to your room soon after that, you got to keep the shirt of his that you were going to snuggle around with until it would lose his essence.

That night, after three months of torture Daemon finally had the luxury of jerking off to your thoughts, the way that silk night dress clung to your voluptuous body but left a mystery enough for his imagination and how you were so desperate to be played with was all he needed to pump his hard and swollen cock into his fist. The truth of the situation that you were his supposed niece turned him on even more even though it shouldn't.

He pictured your sweet face moaning and groaning underneath him, chanting his name like a prayer and it didn't take much as he combusted and painted his torso with thick spurts of his release.

Lord, how was he going to keep you away from him? Leave you so untouched when you were so desperate to give into him?

He was being a tease, he wanted to keep you on the edge you figured and you just wanted to give him whatever he desired. The conversation he had with you had made you realize that he was so unappreciated so you were going to appreciate the heck out of him, worship him the way a man like him deserved to be worshiped.

You were going to make him realize why you are the only woman he'd ever need in his life again.

Next day at the office you pretended to be the good girl he wanted you to be, especially in public and more importantly in the workplace..you had to be extremely careful, there was a sense of taboo attached to your relationship and you understood that well, you also knew that whenever this thing would go out in public he'd be the only one to take the hit for it, he'd be blamed and shamed for corrupting you but you won't let him take the fall all alone..you'd be there for him.

“Your father is sending me on a business trip to Japan” he said to you as he placed some documents in his briefcase, it was 5 pm so you no longer had to pretend that he was just your boss .

“Whatttt? For how long?” You asked him hurriedly so he sighed.

“Four days, could be five” he answered you and he could see how sullen you looked all of a sudden. Did you really need him around you that much? Were you always going to be so needy for him? He didn't really mind that, it has been a while since he had wanted to spoil someone so badly.

“Ohhhh umm.. okay uhhh okay” you mumbled in your mouth as you jumped up to sit down on his desk. You felt saddened that he would be gone for four days and you won't get to touch him, or bask in his scent, you really were obsessed with him.

He smiled as he walked around the desk to stand tall in front of you and placed his hands on your thighs to pull you closer to the edge of the desk and into his body, the sudden action had turned you on immensely. His hands caressed your thighs before they trailed up to your bosom for a brief moment and then he brought them up until he had your cheeks between his palms.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” He whispered against your mouth and you had to remember to breathe because you were definitely going to pass out from how wrecked your nerves were at the moment.

“Mmmm please” your voice came out all whiny and it made him smile.

“Or i should take you home and kiss you in my bed while you're underneath me love” he whispered against your mouth and your whole body shuddered, even he was able to feel you trembling.

“Ohhh God yess…that..i want that”

“Greedy” he mumbled as he kissed the tip of your nose.

“Tease” you quickly replied and that made him smirk “I'd miss you.. alot..you're going to come back right?” Your eyes teared up so he placed his forehead down on yours, an action that felt very familiar to you.

“Come back To you..for you? Absolutely” he kissed your forehead before he suddenly pulled away from you.

“Oh I forgot to tell you something” he mumbled as he grabbed his briefcase from the desk so you stepped down as well as he was going to drop you back home.

“What is it?” you asked him as you grabbed your purse

“Your father wants me to take my only intern slash assistant on this trip with me..you know for learning purposes”

The scream of excitement that you let out was deafening, he was lucky his cabin was soundproofed.

Sure taking this thing slow was his idea but he had a feeling he'd be the first one to break that rule as he finds himself with you all alone on this trip in a foreign place where he didn't have to pretend to be your Uncle.

❤️‍��❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Note: Hope this wasn't disappointing 😂 plenty of stuff to come..

Taglist

@serving-targaryen-realness @annoyingsweetsstranger @anukulee @mcufan72 @insertsomethingsillyhereple-blog @silentf @ajthefujoshi @stupidthoughtsinwriting @ammo23 @shuichiakainx @daddylokisqueen @ipostwhtifeel @anehkael

#daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x female reader #daemon Targaryen x reader smut #daemon targaryen x reader fluff #daemon targaryen x reader angst #non canon au #modern day au #modern daemon targaryen #age gap relationship

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ww2yaoi · 2 months

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The Lewis Nixon/John Egan parallels are definitely interesting and I like the discussion that's going on. I think they're both alcoholics, and the comparisons start and end more or less there. I think they drink for different reasons though, but to a similar end result. Like someone else said, John drinks, fucks, gambles and parties because it's fun. He's giving in to his impulses because it's what a man does during a war.

There's a line in Mad Men where Roger Sterling tells Don Draper that his generation drinks for the wrong reasons, while his generation (the Greatest Generation AKA those who fought in WW2) drinks because it's "good." John drinks because it feels good. I don't think he consciously knows how much he's pushing his feelings down with it, whereas I think Lew definitely knows. He's more self-aware than John is, and he's much more cynical. Although the real guys were around the same age, Nixon as portrayed by Ron Livingston seems older than Callum Turner's Egan, and more ragged from his drinking, at least towards the end of the war. Now, we haven't seen John hit that point yet. But overall I think their drinking comes from different places, though it still serves a protective function in shielding them from the harsh realities of war.

Think about how often John tries to reassure Buck. He says they're going to be the two pilots left up there when it comes down to it. He says he's going to bet on them because he believes in them. When Curt dies, John imagines him drinking a bottle of schnapps. Lew isn't that optimistic I don't think, even if John is partly lying to himself. We see that facade come down in episode 4 during the party scene when Buck and John are talking to Rosie. It's not normal for the Bucky we know to talk like that. The war and probably losing Curt are getting to him, hence why Buck tells him to take a couple days and chill out in London.

Anyway, I think they're different enough characters when you look at it, but the parallels are obvious. I don't think John has gotten to the darker depths of Lew's character that we see in episodes of BoB like Why We Fight, but he might be getting there in episode 5! We'll see how his coping skills are portrayed.

#masters of the air #band of brothers #john egan #gale cleven #lewis nixon #meta

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bitchlessdino · 1 year

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repeat rebound Ch.3 repeating nights like this

Chapter list

Pairing: Fem!reader x fwb!soonyoung (ft.jeonghan sex)

Genre: Crack, smut

word count: 6k

tags: ft. other members (jeonghan, vernon, and mingyu), weddings, coffee meet-cutes, morning sex, cigarettes, alcohol, little sugar baby!reader, wedding planner!soonyoung, fingering, oral (receiving), degradation, praise kink, spanking, spitting, cum swaping

Summary: The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. Again and again and again.

author note: so i had a lot of fun writing this with no plan of how it was gonna go, but i am so satisfied with how this turned out. RR is like a social experiment at this point. REPOSTING DUE TO PREVIOUS ERROR. and pls read on desktop and not the app, its being weird rn.

tag list @nikkell @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @i-dont-give-a-fok @darthlunaa

The coupon was created the first time you ever broke up with Chan, which of course Jeonghan had to have been there for too. You were obsessed with your boyfriend at the time, when weren’t you, so you were devastated. You were bawling out your eyes, questioning the world how he could do this to you. All the young, sad, hopeless romantic stuff. This prompted Jeonghan the opportunity to propose ‘the coupon’.

It entails one night of meaningless sex, no questions, with both consenting parties and no further discussion about the sex after. It was like it had never happened. Both you and Jeonghan had this coupon, an invisible one, promised by the sincerity of word, and with no expiration. You never expected that you would actually use it and knew Jeonghan had enough respect for you that he wouldn’t use his. As it turns out, desperate times called for desperate measures.

“Married, huh? He was too hot to be drinking alone.”

His cigarette smoke clogs the room’s air and wafts into your nose. You exhale it out, burying your naked body into the sheets. That one was one of the few things you never did like about him. He enjoyed a bit of tobacco once in a while, especially after sex, so you heard, and it just wasn’t something you could overlook in a partner. You dismissed Jeonghan as an option for a romantic partner long ago.

Digressing, that wasn’t the point. Jeonghan wasn't the issue, you were and your shit love and sex life. It had become so shit, you were fucking your best friend of all people to…relieve it. It had become codependency at some point: you and sex.

“I feel so stupid. What is wrong with me?”

Jeonghan digs the remains in his personal ashtray, and lays his head against the palms behind his head, turning to your side in concern. “Nothing is wrong with you, there’s never been anything wrong with you. You know that.”

You scoff back dubiously at him, “Yeah, do I? Can you just open up a window, please?”

He rolls his eyes and obliges, sliding out of bed, and exposing what he had, or lack thereof, underneath. His lean back side faces you as the duvet drops from his limbs, his fair and flawless skin that looked tempting and smooth to the touch, almost too perfect to mark. You shield your eyes away as if you hadn’t already seen all of it, all of him, all of last night.

“With clothes please.”

He chuckles as if he knows what you’re thinking. “It’ll be quick.”

You knew this would be someone he’d have to hold against you, hence why you wouldn’t even dream of doing this in the first place, but arousal speaks louder than words. Nothing had been going right for you that night and the last thing you wanted was for you to get someone in a goddamn relationship involved. It was time to cut your losses.

He cracks open the window, nothing big, just enough that smoke can pass through, but not enough to give a view. Eyes still resisting his presence, you feel him join you back in bed, gazing back at you, and it was nice. “Want to go another round?”

You give him a knowing grin, “Coupon only entails one night.”

“Says who?” He retorts back with a cheeky smile.

“Said you when you made it up. It’s morning right now. I’m sure you understand the concept of time.”

He draws himself a little closer to you, the intimacy he offers all too enticing to reject. “I can make an exception. Sounds like you need it. A little TLC.”

He pairs your hips together, flaccid cock now twitching against your thigh. His lips push pressure against yours, hand running over your shape, a low satisfied hum leaving his lips. A soft moan escapes you as you kiss him back, and you get a light sensation in your body that makes you feel weightless, everything is where you needed it to be. Somehow, Jeonghan sensed that. “You look even pretty like this…how do you do that?”

“What, like with bed head and dehydrated skin?” You chuckle against his lips.

“Yeah, even then,” he whispers with a smile.

He throws you in his lap, and a girlish squeal emits on your end. Lips attach to one another once again, and you find yourself indulging more of his time. You ride his body, his length’s warmth plunged in your core, unmoving, but pleasurable even without. He let you use him, easing your tension instead of building it up, touching you, and offering you nothing but bliss. It was sweet, Jeonghan always was.

“Oh, Jeonghan…”

And he was the best friend you could ask for.

“You feel so good,” you giggle helplessly, cupping his cheeks.

Your hips move fluidly, melting into each other like the richest butter. His hands cradle your breasts, massaging them like warm dough meant to be carefully kneaded. There was something comforting, something reassuring, that you couldn’t help but appreciate. It gave you a certain high, a somewhat calming one that blurs your sense, it was a high in your body that could only do good.

Was it mind-numbing sex? No, but it was what you needed.

He then slides down his hands to cup your ass, working his knuckles in your flesh, squeezing their pillowy surface. Your moans, as surprising as it sounds, come out so naturally. You repeat his name like a mantra, all while Jeonghan’s head throws back into his pillows, grunting, whining, doing whatever he was doing because whatever it was, it didn’t matter. You liked hearing his voice, new yet familiar, crying out to you, obsessing over you, making you feel desired like you meant something.

“You feel so fucking good…” Even when he was cussing, it was heavenly. Cathartic even.

You had this airy way you laughed you couldn’t help yourself. It blended with the movement of your hips, harboring a climax between your thighs. Jeonghan was gonna remember this and all of last night for a long time. “Yes, yes, mmh, Jeonghan…”

With a permanent smile on his face, he watches you double over as you cum all over his rubber-coated cock and his hands embrace your sweaty backside. He listens to your shaky breath, orgasming ostentatiously loud in his ears. Adrenaline was rushing through his body at the same time his hot cum was rushing out.

He paints the inside of his rubber white, elevating his heart rate. Still smiling, he takes deep breaths, remembering to breathe, “Fuck, I’m gonna need another cig.”

You stopped the session there, after a nice hot shower anyways (Jeonghan coming by to save water), rejecting his offer for breakfast saying you had places to be, but kissed him goodbye and, rather slowly with tobacco and spearmint fresh on his tongue. It all ends at that. Never to be spoken of again. At least you hope.

“Hi.”

You falter in your steps, turning to see another familiar face walking down the stairs to the front lobby, looking like he’s ready for a good day’s work in a nice button-down and slacks. It was a sight to see considering you had only seen it in pictures before, but he really did clean up well.

“Morning. Sleep well?” You ask in an attempt to make some light conversation.

Soonyoung quietly laughs to himself, noticing how the awkwardness radiates off your body or was there something else that had you absolutely glowing? “I think I slept alright. You?”

“Oh, uh…”

What do you even say? Didn’t get much sleep because I was busy filling up a bodily cavity that has nothing to do with teeth?

“Wait, none of my business,” he laughs off, and that relieves you, “I’ll see you around.”

You nod him goodbye, awkwardly so but as normal as possible, which wasn’t very likely. Nevertheless, it could've gone worst and for that, you were grateful it didn’t. One wrong move last night, you would’ve been a homewrecker, and he didn’t make that any easier for you. Maybe you really did need some time away from sex like Jeonghan first suggested, but were you really one to listen?

The sex was a good distraction from things other than your break up, if anything your break up was a distraction for something else: the failing economy. You were lucky enough to have some money from your previous job, which went nowhere may you add, to pull through for the next few months but you promised yourself that you’d find a new, better job in no time. Easier said than done and what have you been doing? Quite literally, fucking around.

You’re gonna be done with that, for now anyway.

And it was nothing to flush out-of-control sex hormones like an artisanal cup of coffee while you job search on your laptop in a cute little cafe. This was a nice change of pace. And you totally weren’t catching the glances at the cute head barista, whose name you found out to be Vernon by the way.

Okay, no. No, no. Back to it.

You’ve looked on endless worksite pages and have already applied to a few electronically, but none that screamed to you that it was your calling, not that anything ever did. In the past, you’ve worked jobs to get by and most recently landed one that paid the most out of anyone, but as most companies went, it made its employees drone on to an endless cycle of work-life imbalance. Probably why it took so long to realize your relationship was going to shit.

It was then your phone rang and fate played with you once again while you were in the middle of tittering between the job search and fantasizing about getting fucked in the breakroom by the brown-eyed barista. No doubt, your savior was on the other line ready to pull you away from this horny limbo. “Hey, Gyu. What’s up?”

“I need help from a good, good friend.”

Your nose scrunches at the tone of voice, contorting your lips anxiously. It was warm and inviting, for Mingyu anyway, but in a way, that ulterior motives were clear as day. “Okay, what the fuck, you sound creepy. What is it?”

“Now don’t be…hostile, but—“

“I hate this idea already.”

He lightly laughs on the other line. “I need a date for a Wedding.”

You sigh, already know where this is going. “It better not be the one I’m thinking of.”

“It might be.”

“Kim Mingyu.”

“Okay, Okay,” he answers defensively, “I know it sounds bad, but…I promise I won’t…do much.”

Mingyu was many things and has questionable actions but none without reason. He and his ex had been in an on-and-off relationship and just when they’re in their off stage, she’s off getting married. He couldn’t believe it at first, hell, he couldn’t believe he was getting cheating on at first either. It was the first time he felt helpless in a long time.

“Are you seriously asking me to be your date for your ex’s wedding? Jinni. That ex. With the guy she cheated on you with. And you want me involved. Why?”

“I’ll pay you.” He bargains curtly.

You admit, hearing that may have intrigued you.

“I don’t want your stupid Scrooge McDuck money.”

“Three grand.”

Fuck.

You resist, digging into the flesh of your thigh. “…I don’t want your stupid three grand either.”

“Five grand.”

Man, you hated this guy. “Or your five grand.”

“Seven!”

Your eyes shoot open. “Stop shouting numbers!”

“Fine, Eight.”

You cup your phone’s speaker, worried as if some bystander can hear, “Shut up already, fine. I’ll help you…And send the 8k to my bank. You know which one. I’ll be there soon.”

You quickly hang up and shut your laptop close. You exhale a breath of relief, knowing you’d be able to pay off your expenses for a good few extra months and maybe get a nice dinner out of this too, hoping this doesn’t become a habit. You throw your things into your bag and toss the empty coffee cup in the trash, grabbing the attention of Vernon, the barista, hurrying from behind the counter.

“Wait!” He stops you before you can leave, fiddling with something in his fingers.

“Yes?” You answer curiously.

An awkward smile cracks on his face, and you notice how he’s even more pretty up close when he can meet your eyes. “Did you happen to read what’s on the cup?”

You were confused by his question. “You mean my order?”

“Oh, no. Um. I left my number.” He confesses.

“Oh. I'm sorry, I actually didn’t see that.”

“It’s okay! Um, here actually.” He hands you the cafe's business card with a few holes already punched out and a hastily written number on the side, “Buy 5 more drinks and get two for free. One for you and one for me when you call the number on it.”

Okay, that was admittedly cute.

You bashfully laugh, accepting the card, “I’ll think about it. Thank you.”

You see him wave you bye when you leave and watch you walk out of sight so he can finally head back to his station. You look a little closer at the business card, endeared by the little cat drawing he drew next to his number, before stuffing it into the depths of your tote bag. “I hope that guy gets the meet-cute person he’s looking for. Sadly, it won’t be with me.”

The road to Mingyu’s place was strenuous as ever and you stand amongst architecturally beautiful steps leading you to his staff greeting you as you walk past them, smiling pristinely as they always have. It was haunting, almost. You’ve come by enough to familiarize yourself with the trail to his bedroom, finding him surprising you with an array of formal dresses he already had ready for you. Always like him to want to play dress up when he calls you out for these kinds of favors. You couldn’t help but scoff, crossing one arm over the other.

“There’s no way you could’ve predicted I’d say yes.”

He struts over you in unadulterated confidence, peering at you with raised brows and an amused smile. “Of course, I did. You’ve always said yes to me.”

Rolling your eyes, you follow him by the hand to join him by the clothing racks, seeing him already sorting through the variety. “Yeah, well, you always somehow know I’m in desperate need of money. Lucky you.”

He turns to you, a condescending pout on his lip, “Don’t worry about a thing. Daddy’s got you.”

“You call yourself that one more time, I’ll make sure you won't get to be a father any time soon.”

You met Mingyu through Jeonghan, and it didn’t take long to realize you and he was on complete opposite sides of the class spectrum. He came from polo practices and ate from the finest silverware, while you got by day by day, living off your resources (here came Mingyu). Jeonghan knew a lot of different kinds of people and you wonder how he could ever keep up. Especially this Mingyu.

This guy reeked of charm and money. He was chiseled like a young god and living up to his status and name, he got almost anything he wanted. He could have people falling at his feet if he tried, which you were sure some already had. You were almost convinced once. Almost. In fact, you’re the real exception. You saw through that obnoxiously perfect ruse. You saw an overly confident man that needed someone to humble him, so you became his friend. Maybe his only friend that tolerates more than what his money offers.

“One ass squeeze.”

“No.”

The tall man nudges your side, walking arm in arm, “It’ll make it more believable.”

You nudge him back twice as hard, hard enough to bruise, “2 kisses, and you can put your arm on my shoulders at any point of the night. I find that more than reasonable.”

He gave you a deadpan look before drawing his lips to your ear. “All that and one kiss with tongue.”

“Over your dead body.” You respond, gritting your teeth.

He snickers, tightening his grip. “Didn’t know you were into that—Hey gang!” He did not just—“This is my girlfriend, isn’t she pretty?”

You display a firm grin, playing along his sick facade, “Gyu, stop, you’re embarrassing me.”

Eight thousand dollars. Tonight you cost eight thousand dollars, so you were going to act that way. You sway in the finest silk and stood by Mingu every hour of that night, painfully grinning from ear to ear, playing up the role of his girlfriendly flawlessly just enough to get the stink eye from the bride herself. You pretended to feed each other, and called each other disgusting pet names, all while trying not to visibly cringe from the over-the-top cosplay.

“It’s only been a short while but, we just get each other. Like I’ve known her for thousands of lifetimes. We’re just perfect together, aren’t we, Pookie?”

“Mmh, hmm.”

He kisses your cheek chastely, hand gorilla gripping your hip, and you knock him back to his senses with your side, catching him before he falls. “You make me so happy, doll face.”

‘Kill me’, you thought to yourself.

Somewhere in the midst past the wedding food you could never buy yourself or the name-brand wedding favors that you may have swiped more than one of, a man in an earpiece can’t seem to take his eyes off you like he isn’t even trying. You take a peek at the man unable to tear his eyes away and recognized him instantly, even in a foreign get-up.

His hair was styled better than it was the last you saw him and sporting a suit that fits not only him delectably but the theme to a tee. Once again, you can’t seem to escape the grasp of ‘to be determined last name’ Soonyoung. He meets your eyes, looking as if he’s wanting to undress and devour you in your very seat, and you can’t help but squirm under his gaze. You cross one leg over the other, clenching your warmth, and greet him politely with your eyes from your designated spot until he’s walking over and joining you.

He stands before you tall and daunting, unlike the warm smile on his face, “Y/n? I thought that was you.”

His presence urges you out of your seat in a flash, smoothing out the wrinkles of your dress, “Soonyoung. I’m just as surprised as you are. Didn’t think you’d be planning this wedding too.”

“Well, the Chois wanted the best,” he chuckles with pride, “You look…incredible by the way.”

You could feel your body flush at the single compliment, or maybe it’s the eyes that can’t help but draw you in so effortlessly.

“She should, she’s with me tonight, ” Mingyu stands from his seat with his hand out, staring down at him, “Kim Mingyu. And I have it, you're Kwon Soonyoung? Quite the event you helped plan.”

Soonyoung shrugs, making himself to come off as humble, but fails while doing so. He glances your date's open hand and soon takes it in his, sharing a firm handshake. “All ideas of the bride and groom, I assure. I’m just doing the heavy lifting, Nice to meet you, Mingyu.”

Their eyes locked in with each other, having some sort of emasculating stare-down, pointlessly battling for dominance, and you can’t help but roll your eyes. You ended it quickly by making your presence known, tugging Mingyu’s arm to keep up the ruse and serving Soonyoung an innocent smile. “It was nice seeing you, Soonyoung.”

He lets Mingyu go, sticking the hand in his pocket and reciprocating your kind approach. “You too, Y/n. Hope the next time is sooner than I hope and with less of a crowd.”

Soonyoung takes his leave, tending to his duties as the wedding planner, leaving you and Mingyu alone with more than enough questions from your curious date.

“What the fuck was that,” Mingyu pesters with an excited gasp.

“Shut up, nothing.”

MIngyu was doubtful. “He was literally eye fucking you when I’m right here. Pookie, you sex fiend.”

“Shut the hell up” you harshly whisper, “We had one night, I’d hardly call that fiendish behavior.”

“After all this, I want deets. When, where, and how long and thick?”

You pinch the flesh of his thigh, seeing him wince the tighter you squeeze, “I am not painting you a full picture, you pervert.”

Mingyu made a point to bother you about it every time eyes weren’t on you, poking fun about ‘how much fun you must’ve had,’ or asking how ‘long he lasted,’ earning a kick under the table every time. Otherwise, you acted like the perfect little girlfriend , sticking to Mingyu’s side like a fly in a sticky trap, drawing attention from more than the jealous bride.

Soonyoung kept a steady eye on your every move, noticing what you ate, didn’t eat, laughed for how long, or how close you pressed up against Mingyu’s shoulder. You were his for a night and some change but could not stand the way you touched the guy. Your body and face exuded class that this guy could never compare. He could have you writhing under his tongue, crying under his lips, screaming at the occupancy of his cock, but you couldn’t. You were here with ‘what’s his face’ instead of cumming to the sound of his voice. He couldn’t have that. He wasn’t going to.

In the company of others, you tried ignoring the fact that Soonyoung was mere meters away, testing your patience, but he had already plagued your thoughts. You knew better than to stray from your mission tonight, eight thousand dollars were on the line. To the best of your ability, you placed your attention on Mingyu. That was until an unknown caller pops up on your phone screen while it vibrated. By pure instinct, you look up to find the very man you were trying to avoid from across the room, gesturing you to pick it up while his own was held up to his ear.

You smile sheepishly at Mingyu’s friends, excusing yourself from the table and taking the call privately as you walk away. Mingyu questions you for a moment but lets you see how much in a hurry you were, and smiles to himself. Once you were alone, you eyes shift form the floor to Soonyoung, proceeding the conversation like a paper cup telephone. “How’d you get my number?”

“I asked Jeonghan.”

“And he just gave it to you?” You ask, arching a brow in interest.

“He said no.” You snort at that. “So I looked through his Instagram, searched for your name, and voila, found your profile. Not safe for you to have your contact on public, may I say.”

You let out an amused hum, watching him walk your same pace in a pathless direction. “Wow, stalker much?”

“I figured since you came to my place unannounced, pretending to not know who I am, I’d consider us even,” he voices, laughing.

“Okay, okay. So why’d you call if you’re standing like 20 feet away from me?”

You stand parallel away from each other smiling, hearing his soft chuckles under his breath.

“Just wanted to say…you look really, really good tonight.”

You roll your eyes, “You already said that.”

“Thought it might come off more sincere if I told you more personally.”

You bite your lip, playing with the pocket of your dress with your free hand. “Well, thank you.”

“I’d really like to take…a closer look…maybe relive that night we first met…” he draws out that final statement suggestively, a familiar glint in his eye that you remember having you on your knees for him in an empty stairwell.

“Do you?” You can’t help but entertain.

“I bet I could make you cum harder now than I did that night.”

Your eyes nearly pop out of your skull from that, cupping your phone speaker and look around to make sure no one else had heard that. You stare back at him in shock, and quite frankly, arousal, “Soonyoung, oh my god. You have a girlfriend.”

His eyes look off into the distance for a moment before training back on you. “We…ended things. Probably for good.”

The relief enters your body so quickly you forget to breathe and you clutch your phone to your ear, staring back at him more intently. “...So you’re just, what, booty calling me? In the middle of work?”

“Would that be so wrong? Your date isn’t exactly…entertaining you. Let me entertain you. That is in my job description.”

“I doubt means fucking your guests,” you playfully argue, “Even if I said yes, where would we even do that?”

He arches a brow, confidence splays on his face, “You think a wedding planner wouldn’t have rented a room in the wedding’s hotel for emergencies?”

You step behind a pillar, finally finding a comfortable level of privacy, “You want me that bad you’ll leave your post just to have sex?”

He laughs behind an identical pillar. You both stand away from the rambunctious guests, focus each other like you were the only two left in the room. He speaks directly into the mic of his phone, and you can hear the sincerity in the way he speaks. “It’s all I’ve thought about since I laid my eyes on you tonight. Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll stop.”

You sigh, scanning his body from where you stood, licking your lips at how the suit hugs his body perfectly, and despite being drastically the club outfit he once had on, this suit also did wonders to his figure. Soonyoung had an effect on you, no one you were willing to admit, but the word ‘no’ would just not roll off the tongue like it should’ve. “...I can’t do that now, can I?”

It didn’t take long for you to follow him to the empty room he mentioned, nor did he take long to push you up against a wall and crash his lips into yours in a feverish kiss. His hands roam the shape of you, slamming back at your hips belligerently back against the wall. He creeps through the convenient slip of your dress to immediately claim your sopping cunt underneath your drenched panties. You moan at that, feeling his digits draw a full layer of arousal to meet his knuckles and his deep snickers coat your ears. “You’re so fucking wet. I can tell you’ve been thinking about me too.”

His cock was hard against your thigh, fingers hooked up to meet your entrance. Lips against yours, he helps himself to slick through your moisture and eventually finds himself at home inside. Your stomach tenses up in reaction to the sensation as you hold your breath, eyes rolling back to your skull, while your nails dig into his quality dress shirt.

You nod at him with a hazy gaze, choking up at the drought withstanding in your throat, “I have, especially in that suit, made me want to rip it right off of you.”

He smiles at you expectantly, pressing his cheek to yours intimately. A sweet smile creeps on his face in contrast to the words that escape his lips. “Oh, can't even contain yourself the few minutes I’m around. Dirty slut.”

A thumb pressed to your clit, and you shift your legs, pressing your lips together to muffle your moans, “Mmh, couldn’t stop thinking about your cock in my mouth or buried in my pussy…”

“You should see how much you look like you need me. How fucking desperate you’re sounding. What is it? He can’t make you cum, can he? Can’t make you scream his name like I do?”

He’s thrusting his fingers, the speed gradually picking up, and your fist slams against the wall behind you to his rhythm, your voice rich in lust music to his ears. “Mingyu can’t fuck you like I can…we both know it…so say it. Say how bad you want me.”

You gasp for breath, clenching your core, drowning in a state of euphoria that you haven’t felt since the night you hooked up with Soonyoung last. His brass language differs from his normally kind nature had you enthralled in a way you hadn’t before and it scared you. You knew thoughts of Soonyoung will only ever plague your mind from that moment on and despite knowing it, you can’t imagine telling him otherwise. Instead of denying such a feeling, you let your entrancement speak for you.

“Yes,” you breathe out, “I want to ruin me, I want you to fuck me, no one can fuck me like you or your dick does...”

He can’t help but match your manic grin, pressing a hungry kiss against you, letting go with your bottom lip caught in his teeth. His fingers pull away from your heat, settingly against your tongue before your lips wrap around it, tasting the nectar you bare. “You’re just the perfect little cock holder, aren’t you? Bed, face down, now.”

He pushes against the mattress, bitting the metal of the dress's zipper before pulling down and revealing your backside. He takes the same path up with his tongue, a long stripe licked up your spine before his lips land on your ear. His hands pick up your dress straps and pull them off your shoulders, slipping you out of your dress before kicking it aside. Your legs hang off the mattress like a limp rag doll and Soonyoung makes sure your ass presses against his crotch, boner poking through his slacks.

His hips rub into you assertively, hands kneading your breasts, tweaking your nipples, while his belt’s cold metal digs into your skin. You whine at that, pushing your back into him, feeling his hot chuckles make the hairs on your neck stand.

“Don’t make me have to handle you. I don’t fuck with brats, remember?”

He’s rough pulling down your panties, instinctively finding the oozing entrance made his fingers fit like a puzzle. The Palm of his hand slaps against your bare cheeks as he rams his fingers, just as intoxicatingly so moments ago. You bite down your moans in the duvet, perking your ass higher, and before you have time to process it, he buries his face in your divide. His tongue divulges between your cheeks and softly giggles in your warmth, fingers playing with your wet folds and clit that just makes your toes curl.

“Soonyoung!” You helplessly yelp and your weak form sinks into the sheets in a hot sweat, recognizing a development that you had yet realize until now.

His hand claps against your cheeks, muscle lost in your taste, stranded and victim to cum threatening to seep out your body. You writhe beneath, only encouraging him more, as your voice aches in torment and your thighs pressed against his face in utter submission. Tears swell up in your eyes the faster he thrusts, the deep he thrust, defiling you completely. That was when Soonyoung learn how much louder you could be when you submit to him completely. It was like he had you screaming bloody murder. That made him swell up in pride.

“Fuck…me, Soonyoung…” You hold a hand to your abdomen, throwing your voice ou to bounce off the ways, jerking your posterior back onto Soonyoung’s mouth and covering his tongue, the taste in his mouth shifting in a millisecond, but not any less scrumptious.

He licks up the last bit, sucking the remaining off his fingers, and flips you on your back. He towers over you, perspiration built up on his forehead, neck, and even leaking through his shirt. Not an ounce of remorse on his face, he takes his used fingers to pry your mouth open, dropping a long translucent trail of salvia and cum on the center of your tongue. He reconnects with your lips, feeling the vicious liquid stain his cheeks, and flavoring you mouth before he whispers, “swallow,” against your lips. You listen and do as you’re told, earning his praise immediately after.

“Good girl,” he compliments, kissing you more, this time tenderly and forgiving, only to pull away to pick up his jacket off the ground, fixing himself in the mirror.

You blink at him in confusion, still exhausted and drained, you start to sit up from the bed, watching him toss the outerwear back on his body, “W-what are you doing? Your clothes are still on.”

Soonyoung scoffs all smug, looking at you through the mirror’s reflection, “You can't honestly believe me I’d get myself hot and sweaty in the middle of my work.”

“But—“

“But nothing,” he retorts, “I’m going back to the wedding, finishing my job, and you are going back to your date.”

You lay in disbelief, glaring at the man that dragged you into the first place, “You aren’t seriously leaving me here. You didn’t even—you brought me here, finish what you started.”

“I will…after work.” He picks up your abandoned dress on the ground to you, shielding your naked body. “Clean up, regroup with Mingyu, and hands to yourself. It'll be midnight before you know it.”

“Midnight?” You agitatedly repeat.

“You’ll wait, you’re a good girl, I know you can. You have my number and my address. See you soon.”

Now Soonyoung was the one to leave you baffled, naked, and questioning your life choices. Was this how he felt when you left him that morning after?

There wasn’t much to do now but move back on with the plan. You fixed yourself in the bathroom of the rented room and tried containing yourself despite your previous events. Mingyu had been blowing your phone the moment you were out of his sight and had quickly dragged you to his side the moment you reunited.

“Where the hell have you been?” he said in a panic, figuring you probably had your fun, but soon realize that meant his reputation was in jeopardy.

“Time got away from me, sorry.”

“Well, snap out of it. We have a show to put on.”

By the time you got back, you were visibly distracted, not on your ‘A game’ for the appearances you were trying to keep up. Mingyu made sure to up the ante to not raise suspicion, quietly reminding you whose attention you were supposed to be on tonight. Gradually, you realigned yourself to the situation, your acting skills improving as time passed, but not without the Soonyong burning a hole into your ploy you had with your fake boyfriend. The very thought gnawed at your brain knowing he was watching, it even settled in your mind that he was no doubt jealous. That had planted a dirty thought in your head, one that you could never come back from depending on the outcome.

Your body moves faster than your head when you claim Mingyu’s face in your hands. In a swift cinematic move, you pull his face against yours and meet his lips, languidly moving them for show. You feel his eyes flutter shut as he reciprocates, now following after as your lips part ways to clash with his tongue in an obvious fashion, and you explore his mouth to taste tonight’s dinner and sparkling champagne. You take your time to savor the moment before pulling away from your date, eyes center on the man directly behind Mingyu an ocean away, clenching a notepad sheet in his fist.

Mingyu can’t help but flush in pleasant surprise, softly holding your wrists to gently set your hands against your lap, “What was that for?”

It was your turn to look smug and you meet Soonyoung’s eyes in a knowing smile before answering. “Just something that will get me in trouble later.”

#svthub #hoshi smut #jeonghan smut #seventeen smut #soonyoung smut #kwon soonyoung smut #yoon jeonghan smut #kwon soonyoung #yoon jeonghan #hoshi #soonyoung #jeonghan #seventeen fanfics #seventeen soonyoung #seventeen hoshi #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #seventeen x y/n

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i-just-like-goats · 1 year

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Chuuya x Reader no pronouns specified

Summary: Request - reader doesn't like wine nor smoking at all due to their mother and brother being addicts. i was wondering how would chuuya react and maybe an interaction with dazai

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, discussions of self destructive behaviour, mentions of death

WC: 1.5k

Main Masterlist Part 2

"You're not going to drink Y/N?"

"Oh, no. I'm driving,"

“Come on, not even a little shot?”

Your co-worker held a shot towards you. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. It felt like everyone’s eyes were fixed on you, expecting, waiting for you to take the shot. Dazai scoffed.

“Don’t be such a bore,”

You held your head down, refusing to look up at anyone. An arm reached over your bowed head and returned to its original position. Tentatively, you raised your head to see Chuuya taking the shot for you. He gulped the alcohol down wordlessly.

Once it was down, Chuuya glared at the other person. Too drunk to feel intimidated by Chuuya's hard stare, your co-worker cheered for Chuuya.

You mumbled a thank you to Chuuya. Whether he noticed it or chose not to acknowledge it, you didn't know. There was no change in his glare. A friend was what he was, not a close one, or one you talked to much, but you were glad that he was at least a good enough friend to help you out.

"Y/N got a lighter?"

"Osamu, you know I stay away from that kind of stuff,"

He shrugged.

"Thought you'd have matured by now,"

That hurt.

"If by being mature, you mean engaging in acts that are destructive, then I guess you're right. I'm just so immature to you,"

The rest of the party went by. Osamu kept his distance, opting to hang around the balcony where he smoked and drank to his heart's content.

You noticed how Chuuya was always in the same room as you and was either still glaring at the guy who tried pressuring you or he was intently keeping his eye on you.

With a few farewells to your co-workers, you exited the home, ready to leave for your own.

"Would it be alright for you to drive me home?"

"Oh, Chuuya,"

"Stupid question, sorry. You said you were driving, so you obviously can't drive me,"

"I lied,"

"Oh you did? Well that's great then, here are my car keys, please stop me from driving," He joked.

You smiled tightly and followed Chuuya to his car. Chuuya talked your ear off for most of the walk to his car, but stopped once you started the car.

"Thank you for drinking the alcohol for me. I'm sorry for that,"

"He shouldn't have tried forcing you. You looked uncomfortable so I did what I could to help,"

"You're not going to ask why I looked uncomfortable?"

"No, because that's your business and if you want to tell me you can, but if not, that's completely fine. Besides, I wouldn't want you to lose your focus on the road because you thought of something that you're clearly sensitive about,"

You left it at that, but took a few glances at Chuuya from time to time. Was he always this pretty? Perhaps it was your judgement being affected by his good deed despite his occupation, but you couldn't help but admire his facial features, his clothes, his hair, his-

"Full focus on the road,"

"Right,"

Once you reached Chuuya's house, you parked his car and got ready to get out, but paused when Chuuya unbuckled his seat belt and stayed in his seat.

"You're not going to get out of the car?"

"No. I just want to sit for a while. You should join me,"

"Ok,"

A few minutes passed in silence.

"Osamu is my brother,"

"That jerk's your brother?"

"Yeah, and I'm mad at him,"

"Who isn't mad at him? I noticed how he was acting towards you at the party. Want me to teach him a lesson?"

"No, as much as he deserves some sense knocked into him, I'm more concerned for him,"

"Want to get it off your chest? You've been looking tense since you brought it up,"

You slumped in your seat. Chuuya stared intently at you once again.

"Our mother, as well as smoking frequently ever since we were young, was an alcoholic. Hence my distaste for either of those things,"

You closed your eyes and sighed.

"I avoid them, but I don't judge people who like to drink or smoke. It's fine occasionally, but I saw how it gradually destroyed my mother mentally and physically and I feel like I'm seeing it again with my brother,"

A few tears spilled from your eyes. You wiped at them furiously while Chuuya offered you a tissue. You took it gratefully.

"I'm just tired of it all. He saw how destructive those behaviours were but he's indulging in them just like her and look at her now, she's gone and left us behind. I just can't bear it if I were to lose him too,"

You scrunched your face in an attempt to stop the tears in vain.

"He's been a jerk, but he's still my brother who's cared and provided for me since she passed away when we were teens. I know he's in a terrible place right now. He's in the mafia for Pete's sake! And Oda just died. I just wish he'd care more for himself,"

"I bet he's passed out at the party right now. We could go back and pick him up and we talk to him. You and me, together. You no longer have to hold this weight on your shoulder,"

"Thank you," You whispered, "He probably only drank so much to fill that empty void he's been desperately trying to fill,"

"So why don't you and I find a way to fill it?"

"Let's go,"

"No,"

Chuuya, despite what you told him in the car, chuckled at your predicament. How could he not? There was Dazai, always so stoic, pouting and whining when you tried getting him to leave.

"Osamu,"

"Uh oh Dazai, Y/N pulled out the stern mother voice. Better get yourself up and follow us quietly,"

"Fine,"

You exhaled, relieved when Osamu got up off the floor and slumped into your arms. Chuuya took him from you and carried him back to the car. You took the driver's seat once again and drove to your home.

You parked the car once again and turned to Chuuya.

"Thank you. Again,"

"Like I said, you no longer have to shoulder this on your own,"

"I know, and I'm really grateful for you,"

Chuuya cupped your cheek gently and rubbed away your tear with his thumb. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead as you slowly closed your eyes and savoured his touch.

Osamu gagged from the backseat.

"How much of that did you witness?" You nervously asked.

"Unfortunately all of it,"

"Well why didn't you say something!" Chuuya exclaimed with reddened cheeks.

"Didn't feel like it,"

With a sigh, you got out of the car, the other two following suit. Dazai strode past you, grabbing your arm and leading you inside your house.

"When did you get my ke-"

"Doesn't matter,"

"Well let me drive Chuuya home,"

"He ran out of gas,"

"What? No he didn't,"

He shook his head and poked his head out the door. Some mumbling was heard and Osamu swung the door open for Chuuya to come in. Osamu took you aside as Chuuya stood awkwardly by the door.

"I know what you two are trying to do. Think of this as my apology for my behaviour today. I was a jerk and there's no excuse. I'm sorry. But you should stay by Chuuya's side. He's strong," Dazi exhaled, "And I trust him,"

"What's this about?"

"Just stick to him alright?"

"Ok,"

"I'm going to sleep. I'll talk to you guys in the morning," Osamu announced.

You took a seat at the table. Chuuya took the seat across from you.

"What did my brother say to you?"

"He said that you needed me,"

"Well, his intuition is correct, I need your presence. That moment in the car." You sighed.

"I do care about you, and that moment in the car was me trying to sort out my feelings. And I can say with certainty that i care about you,"

You hadn't meant to, but you had fallen asleep before he was finished. Chuuya sighed, but he couldn't blame you. You had looked exhausted after all.

He carefully carried you to your bed and tucked you in. With another small kiss on your head, Chuuya left and made himself comfortable on the sofa.

He awoke the next morning to see you crying at the table. With no other thought, Chuuya bolted to be by your side. He rubbed circles into your shoulders and simply stood by you until you were ready to talk.

"He's gone. Osamu left,"

You cried even harder.

In between gasps for air, you managed to say, "He texted me at three saying 'We'll meet again one day, but for now stay with Chuuya'. That was all he said,"

Chuuya wrapped his arms around your shaking form.

"I've called and texted his number countless times, but his number no longer exists. I've done everything. I called everyone he knew, but he's just gone. He said. He said he'd talk to us in the morning,"

You moved slightly to look earnestly into Chuuya's eyes.

"Please don't leave me too,"

"I'll always be here for you, even if everyone else leaves, I'll stay right by your side,"

"Thank you,"

"Always,"

#chuuya nakahara x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya x reader #bsd imagines #bsd x you #bsd x y/n #bsd x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #chuuya x y/n

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alpaca-clouds · 9 months

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Isaac and Religion

Please Note: No, I am not a Muslim myself. But I talked quite a bit about this with a friend who is a Muslim scholar.

Something that I have spent maybe too much time thinking about, is Isaac's relation to religion (and in general religion within the castlevania series - though that might be a discussion for another day).

We know that Isaac is Sufi. To those who have never heard about Sufism: It is Islam, but with Mysticism mixed into it. And during the high medieval period it was for a time the most widely spread version of Islam, especially in Northern Africa and the Ottoman Empire. Though at the time the series takes place it was already in decline.

Sufism did originate with Sunni Islam. Though I do have to wonder how much difference it makes to Isaac, as one of the core parts of the entire struggle is about who gets to interpret the Qur'an - and it really does not seem to matter much for Isaac given that he seems to be mostly on his own with his religion, hence having to do the interpreting himself.

But it brings with it quite a few interesting observations about how his relation to his religion is. He is clearly religious, yes. But he does obviously do quite a lot of sinning.

The self-flagellation is something that Islam as a whole frowns upon, because technically self-harm is explicitly forbidden by the Qur'an. But... still there are fractions of Islam that to this day practice self-flagellation, partly as a religious practice, partly as an act of mourning.

Sufism usually does involve meditative practices, which might at times also involve forms of self-flagellation. Which makes me think it is linked to that. Especially based on the dialogue with the captain. Though than again it does contradict his dialogue with Godbrand, where he reasons it has to do with purging his body of sickness (= sin). Ironically this makes me wonder, if he actually has gotten that stuff from the templars/monks, because that reasoning for self-flagellation is a very catholic one. And given he was a kid when he was taken, there is a good chance he might have picked up some catholic dogma as well, maybe even unconsciously. Especially given he uses the same belt for the beating, he had taken from his former owner.

And, of course, there is the practice of sorcery, especially necromacy. Something that again is very much a sin and forbidden in Islam. While Sufi practice some mysticism and maybe even magic, those are usually linked to learning the names of God and are quite different from what Isaac is doing.

Of course, Isaac does have a reasoning behind it and behind his killing of so many. Because Muslim endtime prophecies do in fact involve the souls of the dead being lifted out of hell and reunited with their dead bodies, so that they may be judged by God. (He even quotes from this when talking to the shopkeepere.)

So, in Isaac's mind he is basically just what Christians would call a rider of the apocalypse. He brings upon the endtimes, so that people may be judged again and the wicked might go to hell, while the good people might go to paradise.

As I said, there is obviously the fact that he probably has learned a lot about Islam by himself. He was taken by templars as a child. So while he might have been educated in the faith as a child before that, he was not after it. And given that he was keeping to himself after it, after experiencing a lot of violence, I do not assume he ever went into a mosque to pray or have many talks with scholars. So there is a good chance that a lot of his knowledge on Islam has come from he himself reading the Qur'an and maybe the Hadith and interpreting them himself.

Something that kinda irks me in some fics, is when I read about him drinking alcohol (something he canonically does not do) or eating pork or other haram foods. It is just one of those things with fanfics, where I do wonder how hard it is to be a bit more thoughtful when writing about characters from other religions.

A thing that I personally have thought about a lot is his relation to sexuality. I read him as gay for so many little reasons in canon (though obviously interpretations might vary). Now, medieval Islam had a different view on the topic of homosexuality than modern Islam. Homoromanticism was usually permitted. Homosexuality at least somewhat accepted. Usually Sufi were a bit more accepting in that regard, because of their unique understanding of gender.

But... The Qur'an and especially the Hadith have a strong and clear opinion on one thing, that the bible does not have any opinion about: Anal sex. While the bible refers to homosexual acts in very vague terms, the Qur'an explicitly talks about anal sex and it says: "No go. Not even with women."

Which actually gives me an interesting hook for conflict when I write his relationship with Hector. And it is something that I find kinda sad for it being barely brought up in fics. Just a thought.

#castlevania #castlevania netflix #castlevania headcanon #castlevania isaac #isaac laforeze #religion #meta commentary

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yutasbellybuttonpiercing · 2 years

Text

Make me sin - MK.L

Pairing: Mark Lee x fem!reader

Word count: 7946 words

AU/Genre: kinda childhood friends!AU, churchboy!mark, bad influence!reader, smut, fluff, angst?, humor

Warnings: biblical themes, christianity, this is practically 7k of blasphemy and some change (I'm sorry), mentioned alcohol abuse, smoking (cigarettes), corruption (in both a sexual and non-sexual way) mentions of masturbation (m), oral (m & f receiving), deepthroating, hand job, dirty talk, facial, fingering (f receiving), cumming in pants

Summary: Your questionable lifestyle does not sit right with your parents. Hence, you're sent on a field trip of your local church in hopes of a positive outcome. As you meet the other supervisor Mark, a long forgotten childhood friend of yours, you're itching to crumble down his walls of dedication to christianity to get him to sleep with you. But what if the awkward churchboy tickles feelings out of you that you haven't felt before?

A/n: please keep in mind that this is fictional, it does not mean I agree with the reader's opinions, choices or actions. Stay safe and respectful when it comes to religion. Also, this is kinda fast paced, there could have been more pushing and pulling, but I kinda like it like this.

Your parents never asked much of you, not when your sibling was born, not after your grandparents died, not when you moved out because your parents didn't approve of your party lifestyle. They just let you be. And maybe that had been the problem.

To say you're a troublemaker would be cringe, but accurate. For the third time this year, your parents had to bail you out of jail - nothing serious, just problems you'll get with the law if you're someone who parties (too) often - and they were not happy about that to say the least.

"Please, for once in your life, please listen to us," your mother begs you, "please go on the field trip with the confirmation class of our church. I promise, it will help you get better..."

"I've already talked to the pastor and he agreed. You're going. End of discussion. Now get in the car, I bet you're still too drunk to drive." Your father holds open the door for you.

And with that, it was settled. You don't know why supervising a bunch of teenagers (?) to make sure they're not drinking or having sex would help with your alcohol and finance problems, but here you are: 10am sharp with your luggage in front of the church.

To be honest, you're still kind of hung over, but at least you look somewhat presentable with two aspirin in your system. Your hair's up with a big black hair clip, your body wrapped in the clothing of the night before, but covered with a decent looking coat from your mom. At least, your parents allowed you to bring your own clothing...

"Hey!" A voice greets you. "Are you here as a supervisor?"

You turn around until you're eye to eye with some guy. He must be a little taller than you, but right now - because of your plateau boots - you're at eye level. He grins brightly. He's kinda cute.

And he looks kind of familiar...

"Yeah?" You answer.

"Sweet! I'm Mark. May God bless you!" He beams. Where does he get all his energy from this early in the morning? Probably he just slept enough, unlike someone else who'd been up until 5am to get picked up at the police station by their parents...

"Mark?! You mean as in Mark Lee?" You can't believe your ears.

"Wait-"

"The last time I've seen you, we were like- what? Seven?"

"Dude, what?! That's crazy! I didn't even recognize you! Wow, you changed so much, what are you up to? I haven't seen you around here on Sundays, are you always skipping church or what?" He laughs, putting his hand on your shoulder. You eye his hand on your shoulder dismissively until he draws it back.

"Actually, I don't come to church at all. The last time I've been here was when I was 10 because I heard they gave out free cookies on Christmas." Your fake-smiling lips turn into a tight-lipped line. "Turns out they weren't."

Mark laughs. "Yo, dude, you're so funny. Just like old times! Imagine not going to church." He leans forward to catch his breath from laughing so hard. You ask yourself what's wrong with him.

Mark Lee. The son of your father's best friend a couple of years ago. They got into an argument over some stupid shit so you weren't allowed to hang out with Mark anymore. Mark's grown up so much, of course, but he's still cute, like he was on your playdates all those years ago. Now you'd rather have a different kind of playdate with him...

The next second, the bus arrives and Mark counts the children (???) (you should find out how old these people are) and then guides everyone onto the bus. Once everyone's inside, he sticks his head out of the bus door. "You coming?"

What else are you supposed to do...

After putting your luggage into the bus, you climb inside and sit down at your assigned seat next to Mark who gets up to give a speech for the- kids? You take this opportunity to quickly switch seats with him so you're next to the window.

He just accepts this and sits down, then the bus begins to move. After about 5 minutes, you realize that this was a mistake. You swear that if you hear one more person talking about God you will hop off this bus and get drunk at the next gas station. Instead, you put in your AirPods and listen to some music.

You're 3 songs in when suddenly someone removes your right AirPod. You slowly turn your head, glaring at the culprit, Mark, who just puts the air pod into his own ear while asking what you're listening to.

LibidO by OnlyOneOf keeps playing and after a few lines, Mark looks at you, shocked.

"Yo, we can't be listening to this. This is not something Jesus would approve. It contains hmhmhm themes..." Mark whispers to you and you almost spit in his face with how hard you snort from laughing. Then you realize he's serious. Did he really just censor that word?

"Chill, bro, it's just music."

So you continue to listen to your playlist. And Mark does even bop his head to it.

Mark is immensely emerged in his bible the next time you look over at him. Of course you could talk to him and catch up, but actually, you don't care. You probably won't even see him again after this trip, so why bother with making awkward smalltalk? Mark also doesn't seem to be interested in your hobbies or which classes made you drop out of college.

The bus has mostly gone quiet, some people where sleeping, others talking lowly in the back, you finally get the chance to take in the beauty that had become Mark, he had a cute face, still, but his chest area was actually pretty nicely built such as his ass which you saw earlier when he got on the bus.

Something inside of you tells you that you probably shouldn't think like this, but you can't help but to imagine what he would be like in bed. A shy church boy in the streets... you know what they say. You kind of want to find out what happens when you tease him a little.

So you pretend to be stretching, making sure to move enough to get his attention on you before spreading your legs to touch his and pushing your arms together so he can get a great view on your cleavage. In the corner of your eye, you can see him gulp. You smirk.

Pressing your leg further against his, you sit back and relax, feeling the warmth of his thigh against your own. A wave of arousal floods over you and you have to ask yourself: has it really been that long for you to get horny because someone's leg is touching yours? Apparently.

"What are you doing, Markie?" You whisper a little too close to his ear, visually seeing him shiver.

"Uh, I was just reading my bible." Mark seems a little nervous.

"Can you explain it to me~?" You ask him in a sweet voice, biting your lip. Maybe he is into dumb girls?

"Well, see, in this part-"

"What about the story where Jesus is nailed to the cross." You look deep into his eyes "Wouldn't you like to do that with me?"

"Uh, well, I guess that would hurt-"

"I like it when it hurts, Mark."

"I'd have to put nails through your palms..."

"Wouldn't you like to see me spread out for you, naked and completely at your mercy?" You put your hand on his thigh. "If you know what I mean?"

In Mark's head, it seems to be clicking, finally. His mouth shapes an "o" as his eyes flicker down to your lips, then your cleavage, then back up to your eyes. Then his ears turn red. "I-I mean..."

"Don't tell me you believe in this 'no sex before marriage'-thing." You gesture the quotation marks in the air with your fingers, a mocking tone on your tongue that Mark seems to miss.

"I-" He leans closer to whisper, "I do, but it's not like I have never done the thing... I did it twice and had to ask for forgiveness afterwards"

"Really?" You raise an eyebrow, he nods. You can't decide if this means more or less fun for you. Who would have thought you'd meet old childhood friend Mark on this trip - and then plan on twisting his morals and get him to fuck you?

After what seems like forever, you finally arrive. You put the teens in their rooms and then go to your own, unpacking and chilling a bit before dinner. On the way there you realize that you and Mark would be sharing a room and this gives you an idea.

Mark sits on his bed on the left side of the room, you excused yourself a few minutes ago to change your clothing in the bathroom. As you come back, now dressed in a revealing, cropped shirt, Mark's eyes fall directly onto your tits, mouth hanging open a little as he takes in the sight.

"Like what you see, baby boy?" You grin as you step towards him.

"I- uh, I wasn't-" he tries to explain himself, but leans back as you come closer, taking a seat on the floor in between his legs, batting your lashes as you look up at him.

"Don't lie to me, Markie, it's okay if you stare. It's okay if I turn you on." You smile sweetly and he gulps.

"N-no, it's not. I can't think about you like this. It's wrong! I can't have these thoughts about you, I've known you when we were kids! This is not what Jesus would want," he rambles.

"Mark. I don't care about what the bible says." You look into his eyes, a flat expression on your face, before you tilt your head to the side. You already love making him nervous, the way his eyes widen and eyebrows rise when you say something sinful.

"W-we have to go now- dinner! Yes, dinner, come on..." He grabs your hand and helps you up before turning around to adjust his pants. You smirk. Maybe not this time, but next time you'll get the sweet church boy to fuck the living shit out of you.

Dinner had been nothing special, apart from you sucking deliciously on your popsicle, shoving it down your throat while keeping steady eye contact with Mark who almost chokes on his own saliva.

Afterwards, you meet everyone for a camp fire.

The fire is already set up as you arrive, waiting for the rest of the children to gather at the location. The first thing you do is light a cigarette, the first one for the day since you didn't have time before, the whole trip occupying you completely.

Mark realizes what you're doing, still he hushes, "yo, dude, what are you doing?"

"I'm obviously smoking."

"You can't do this here, what if the kids see?!" He looks around, panic in his eyes, before he grabs your arm, pulling you after him. You squeal at this, surprised by his actions as he hides you behind one of the many small houses of the area.

"What the hell?!" You snap, almost having burned yourself in the process of being dragged away.

"If you have to do it, at least don't make it so obvious for everyone to see. You're a role model after all..." Mark mumbles, looking around if anyone's seen your slip-up. He huffs out the breath he's been holding after confirming that no one caught on.

Whilst all of this, you just lean against the wall, inhaling the smoke and puffing it out with a cocky smile, scanning the panicking Mark in front of you. He's so cute when his eyebrows are scrunched together like this...

"We got lucky this time." He turns to you, taking in your figure leaned against the wall. You're still wearing the reveling shirt – and no bra – and he still hasn't grown accustomed to the sight.

"Markie, you're so stressed about this, why don't you let me help you relax a little?" You raise an eyebrow as you smile.

"What are you suggesting?" Mark's eyes widen as you loop a finger through his belt buckle, pulling him closer. He gulps as his gaze flickers down to your lips wrapping around the cigarette before you blow the smoke into his face.

"Want some?" You grin, offering him the cigarette.

"Isn't that a sin?"

The way he asks you of all people... He looks at the cigarette, then back up at you, debating. You can almost hear the gears clatter in his brain.

"Smoking isn't directly mentioned in the bible, so... I think it will be okay?" He smiles unsurely.

"Do you know how it works?" You pull him a little closer again since he's shied away, and he just shakes his head. "You wrap your lips around it, then you inhale, like this." You demonstrate it to him. "You have to inhale deeply into your lungs, otherwise it has no effect, then you breathe it out through your mouth."

Mark nods, understanding the explanation as you place the cigarette in front of his mouth, giving him the chance to still back out, or to come closer and follow your instructions. He does the ladder, leaning forwards, keeping steady eye contact with you as he takes the filter into his mouth, lips grazing over your fingers that are holding it out to him.

Your breath hitches. It's so sexy, for some reason, how he listens to you, does forbidden things because you tell him to. Also, you can't help but imagine that his lips would look so good wrapped around your clit instead...

Mark inhales, forcing back a cough before breathing out, the smoke blowing into your face. Fuck, you want to kiss him.

"Good boy," you breathe out quietly, but you're sure he hears you as he blushes faintly before taking another hit. You two share the cigarette in silence, gazing into each other's eyes until it's burned down completely.

After you put the cigarette out into your portable ashtray (you might be careless about your health, but not the planet's), you sigh, leaning back against the wall. Suddenly, Mark's hands appear right and left next to your face against the wall, as he tries to keep himself steady. "W-why am I feeling dizzy?"

You giggle. "It's the nicotine, it'll go away in a few seconds. Your body has to get used to it since it was your first time."

Mark nods. "Thank you."

"Thank me? For what?"

"For giving me the chance to do something like this. I liked it. I kind of like to be bad sometimes..." he admits, body having calmed down as he leans back, a hand coming up to scratch on the back of his head nervously. He's adorable, you think, and smile.

"Anytime."

The rest of the night goes by relatively easy. You decide to give Mark a break from your teasing and attempts to make him flustered and just casually sit by the fire with him and talk about nothing. It's when you two get back to your room and Mark decides to hop into the shower real quick. A few minutes later he comes back out.

Your eyes almost jump out of their sockets as you lift your head from your place sitting on Mark's bed. Mark is dressed in nothing but a towel, wet hair tousled as it releases droplets of water onto his shoulders and down his torso.

"Mark, are you trying to tempt me?!"

"I forgot to bring underwear-" he explains awkwardly, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. You almost don't register his words, brain completely occupied with taking in the sight of Mark's strong chest muscles and his abs. Damn, the boy works out. "Could you please hand me a pair? It's in my suitcase..."

"Oh hell no. I will not be supporting you putting on clothes, Mark. Why don't you stay like this, you're pretty."

Mark clears his throat a few times. "Please?"

You roll your eyes before reaching into his suitcase, grabbing ahold of some Spiderman undies as your hand brushes against something papery. Curiosity getting the best of you, you pull that out instead. It's a magazine.

"Mark Lee, why is there a women's dessous magazine in your suitcase?????" You screech franticly, mouth opening into a wide, shocked, but crazy grin, fist repeatedly punching into Mark's mattress in excitement.

Mark whines, grabbing the upper hem of his towel so it won't slip off his naked body as he steps closer to you, trying to snatch the magazine from your hands. "Just- give it back!"

"I can't believe it!" Your eyes are wide with joy, eyebrows almost at your hairline as you try to dodge Mark's attempts of getting the magazine back, falling back into the pillows, Mark's strong frame suddenly above you.

Your laughter calms down, but the grin stays as Mark's face is merely inches away from your own. You can feel his breath on your lips as you gaze up into his eyes. The two of you stay there, with Mark between your legs as you look at each other, eyes flickering down to each other's lips from time to time. Mark's lips look so soft and pouty, you just want to pull him closer and lick over them.

"Mark..." you sigh, and when you lift your hips a bit, you're sure you can feel his hardness against you.

"Hm?" He hums, eyelids heavy as he licks over his lower lip, eyes fixated on your own lips. If you did everything right now, you could maybe get him to fuck you. But is that what you want?

"Did you jerk off to that magazine?" You grin again.

"Yo, stop!" Mark whines, face scrunching up in embarrassment as he finally grabs ahold of the magazine and lifts off of you. Instantly, you sit up too, eyes immediately focusing on the way his towel bulges around his middle.

"So, did you?"

You didn't get an answer to your question, but really, you didn't need one. You can totally imagine what Mark does with that magazine when he's alone. It's kind of cute, actually, but you kind of wonder if masturbating is considered a sin. You decide to ask Mark another time, though.

It's the next morning, the night went by without any incidents because you didn't want to push poor flustered Mark any further. He's suffered enough for one day. That doesn't keep you from planning a whole bunch of evil shenanigans for today, starting early in the morning when you wake him up.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" You grin down at his face. He groans, face scrunching up cutely before he opens his eyes. "I got alcohol, you want some?"

"What?" Mark's eyes widen as he sits up abruptly, almost knocking his forehead against yours in the process.

"You can't expect me to go on a hike with a bunch of kids completely sober."

"You're not gonna drink! That's not okay!" Mark's completely awake now, grabbing the bottle from your hands and hiding it under his blanket. Whatever he thought would happen was probably not that you begin to pout, hands immediately reaching under his blanket to win the bottle back.

"Give that to me, I need it!" You whine, hands wandering around under the blanket, occasionally stroking over Mark's warm body. You can feel him tense up as your hands reach his stomach, touching all over his abs in a poor attempt to find the glass container.

"You don't need it," Mark reasons. His face is flushed pink again, but he doesn't stop the ministrations of your hands. An idea pops up in your head.

"Then give me something better instead." You smirk, hands stilling under the blanket, resting a few inches above his crotch.

"Well, what do you expect me to do?" Mark frowns.

"You know exactly what I want." You grin, teeth catching your lower lip as you move your hand a little lower, hoping he'd get the hint.

"What-" he starts, but soon after he looks down, seeing your hand move towards his dick under the blanket and he gulps. "L-look, we really can't-"

"Why not, Markie, I promise it'll feel good."

"That's not the point!" He groans in frustration because he wants you to continue, so badly, but he can't. It's a sin. "I'll give you something else! Just- don't drink. Please?"

He's almost too cute with his puppy eyes.

"What will you give me?"

"Well, what do you want?"

"Hmm, what do I want..." you pretend to think, exaggerating the action by tapping your finger against your chin repeatedly. "I want you to kiss me."

Mark lets out a shaky breath.

"Or is that a sin?"

"It's- not..."

"Are you sinning when you look at those magazines, Markie?" You tease with a wink and he averts his gaze away from you. "Such a bad boy."

"Don't say that..." He tenses visibly. "Alright, we can kiss. Just let me brush my teeth first."

To your disappointment, you didn't get your kiss because just as Mark exited the bathroom, you heard a knock on the door, calling you for breakfast. Breakfast went by, the porridge not providing enough dirtiness for you to tease Mark about it by eating it sensually, like you did with the popsicle the night prior, plus you were kind of in a bad mood now. Who'd have known those church people would be such insufferable cockblocks?

Even so, after breakfast, you were rushed to grab your things and get going. You were still salty about not being allowed to bring any alcoholic beverages with you on that hike, but you were still hoping to get cock-drunk from Mark, anyway. Honestly, you're not too sure about that anymore, it's like a war between your core and your heart on how to continue things with Mark. You must admit, you kind of like the guy. He's cool to be around, funny and adorably awkward. Still, you like the expression 'cock-drunk' and grin to yourself as it pops up in your mind, mentally noting for you to remember it because it will surely gain you a laughter or two in your friend group.

"How long is this gonna take? I'm tired," you whine dramatically, your feet hurting because no one's told you to pack proper footwear. Mark walks beside you, grinning at your distress as he watches over the kids walking in front of you. "Another kilometer."

"Break?" Your eyes light up at the mention of you finally being able to rest your feet and maybe hide somewhere to smoke. Mark nods and smiles at you. God, he's so cute with his curved eyebrows and his little nose. You swear you will raise actual hell if you don't get a piece of him any time soon.

Finally, you arrive at a small cabin, and once you stored the teens inside with the tour guide explaining something about God – or anything, really. Who knows? Certainly not you – you find a comfortable enough looking rock behind a bunch of trees and decide to place your butt on the ground in front of it, leaning your back against the stoney surface.

Mark is quick to follow you there, sitting exceptionally close to you. You squint at him, his behavior suspiciously different, but he just takes a bite of his apple, looking at the beautiful creations of mother nature. He's so sexy when he does stuff.

"Why are you looking at me?" Mark suddenly asks, raising an eyebrow as he gazes over at you, eyeing you from the corner of his eye. For a second there, you're at a loss of words. It feels like someone had kidnapped good ol' awkward Mark and replaced him for a more confident version of Mark.

"You're hot." Phew. Saved. "And you still owe me a kiss."

Mark eyes widen comically and he chokes on a piece of apple, you assume, coughing frantically as you watch the tears gather in his eyes. You're glad that weird Mark is back, you kind of like him better. Once he's finally calmed down, he takes a deep breath, lifts his butt up from the mossy ground to get onto his knees. He shuffles over until he hoists a leg over your lap to take a seat.

"Aww, baby. Someone's eager to get his pretty lips wet, aren't we?"

Mark clears his throat, but nods. It's all you need to lean in closer, feeling his shaky breath ghost over your skin. Your gaze switches between looking at his eyes and and his lips, licking over your own at the thought of having them against your mouth.

"You have such pretty lips, Markie," you coo and Mark's response almost sounds like a quiet whine. He catches himself though, more or less, and responds with a whispered "Thank you".

At the undeniable closeness, you can feel your heart flutter and your stomach tickle with butterflies, but you choose to ignore that weird feeling of excitement and decide to only acknowledge the excitement happening in your pants.

Finally, you close the gap between you, feeling the softness of Mark's lips against yours as you kiss him. It's like a firework exploding in your body – though you, again, only admit to the thrilling bolt of want striking in between your legs – and your hands instantly fly to roam over his body.

Mark nothing but moans into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut before your own follow his action, his hands come up to cup your jaw gently as he pulls himself closer to you.

Experimentally, you lick against his lower lip and he almost instantly opens up for you to slide your wet muscle into the hot cavern of his mouth, tongue dancing and playing with his own. There must be a karmic imbalance somewhere in the universe, you think, because right now Mark is kissing you, finally, after all these hours of exhausting teasing.

You almost lose yourself in the kiss, nails scratching over the jean fabric covering his things as you try to pull him closer to you. Mark hums against your lips, tasting as sweet and sour as the apple he just ate.

The sudden raucous sound coming from Mark's pocket makes him jump, hands leaving yours to clutch at this chest dramatically as he shimmies off your lap to the take call.

Great. Cockblocked again.

To say you're moody on the whole way back would be an immense understatement. It's not that you believe in religion or fate, or anything for that matter, but you can't help but to feel like the universe is against Mark and you happening.

Mark quickly catches on to your distress and tries cheering you up with beatboxing and rapping a few lines from one of his biblical rap tracks on Soundcloud, but it actually just makes it worse.

Once you arrive back at the camp, you head off into the nearby woods, sitting down against a large tree in silence. You even decided against the idea of bringing your bottle of vodka with you, just because you didn't feel like it.

Slowly, you're kind of scared of the kind of person you're becoming.

When you suddenly hear your name being called out by Mark, you turn around to face him. He's taking big steps over the leaves and branches on the ground, but still manages to catch his foot on one big rock and stumbles.

"Why are you out here all alone?" Mark finally arrives by your side, plopping down next to you, wincing as he manages to poke another rock right into his ass cheek in the process.

You just shrug, dragging on your cigarette as you stare into the deepness of the trees.

"Come on," Mark whines, grabbing your shoulder to shake you slightly.

"Don't you see it?" You mumble, fiddling with the bud of your cigarette.

"That we never seem to get some time alone?" You turn to Mark quickly, eyes widened. You're surprised that he could see through you so easily, that he even noticed what you had been planning.

"Maybe it's a sign," Mark muses, gaze catching yours briefly, "I don't know for what, though."

"You mean, I should just give up?"

"No!" Mark's voice echoes through the woods, "I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's a sign to, " – Mark clears his throat – "to try harder..."

A smirk forms on your face and you watch Mark as his eyes take in the way his hands fiddle with each other in his lap.

"Markie," you sigh, putting your head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth that his body radiates, "I want you so much, but – and this is actually scary to me – I don't want to corrupt you anymore. I want you to want me too, so much that you're willing to let God out of your life for just one night."

You turn to look at him. "And I'm willing to wait."

There's silence for a while, Mark stares into his lap, watching his fingers play with each other before he sighs, turning his head to look at you as well. "Maybe I don't want you to wait."

"Wh-", you start, but don't even get to finish the word before Mark leans in to connect your lips once again. The kiss feels different than the last one, much less needy and wild, but rather gentle and intimate. His lips move slowly against your own, there isn't even tongue involved, just softness and genuine feelings.

You're slowly admitting to yourself that you might really have feelings for Mark, and of course, why shouldn't you? Mark is an amazing guy, lovely and sweet, polite and helpful, awkward and funny. He's fun to be around, he's honestly everything your parents ever wanted for you, but can you bring yourself to overcome your pride and bring him home?

Mark parts from you, his breath gently fanning over your wetted bottom lip as he pulls back, eyes not leaving your mouth until he's leaned against the wood again. His eyes are hooded, but not from lust, but rather from- yeah, from what exactly? Does Mark even have feelings for you? Or are you just exciting to him because you're so foul.

A silence that is not particularly comfortable nor uncomfortable surrounds you for a moment, but then Mark begins to speak, "look," he turns towards you, the tiny stones on the ground probably scratching over his ass in the process, and you wince at the thought, but he doesn't seem to care.

"You're exciting to me, everything about you is so new and... kind of alien, that it intrigues me... but at the same time, you make me question stuff. Like, you've done all this stuff that I never could because of- you know," he halts, and you lean further into him until you can press your face into the crook of his neck, deeply inhaling his heavenly scent.

"I think we-" he clears his throat, "we kind of balance each other out, and I think that's a good thing."

"Even though I push you to do bad things?"

"That's life," Mark simply answers, smiling as he lifts your chin to press his forehead against yours, "I love how we connect."

"I love y-", you catch yourself before you say something you might regret, "that too about us."

Mark smiles even wider, pressing another chaste kiss to your lips.

Both you and Mark spend more time together in the woods, relishing in the feeling of one another being so close, giving you time to talk freely, without any worries in the world. You don't really remember who initiated your next move, but somehow the both of you ended up heavily making out against the stone wall of the small church on the grounds of the camp. It had gotten dark outside, so you were sure no one would come around and be able to find you, and this apparently put Mark at ease, so much that he's thrown all of his worries and morals out the metaphorical window just to be with you.

Mark's leg finds its way in between yours, hands grabbing onto your waist to push you down against it, his boldness catching you off guard. You moan against his mouth, still holding back to not wake up any teens and scar them for life.

"Mark," you gasp as his lips leave yours to kiss your neck instead.

"Hm?"

"Let's... go inside."

Mark halts.

"Inside?"

"Yeah?"

"In there?"

"Yeah?"

"But-"

"It's just a building, Mark, come on!" You smile, leaning in to nibble on his neck, kissing the soft skin before biting down. In response, Mark groans, nodding his head quickly, stepping away from you so you can lead him inside to sin.

You push the heavy door open to reveal the dimly lit inside of the church, only a few candles illuminating the interior. Pulling Mark with you, you choose one of the many benches that thankfully provides just enough space for you to lay down on it, pulling Mark on top of you.

"We shouldn't-" Mark mumbles, but contrary to his words, his lips find yours once again, smashing down on them repeatedly as he touches all over your body. Your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of getting to have Mark. Though you don't feel like you've won at corrupting him, you feel like you're at eye-level, making these decisions together since Mark had pretty much admitted to you that he loved the things you're doing to him.

Suddenly, Mark parts from you, "I don't know if I can."

"Okay, okay," you sit up, thinking for a second before a small light bulb lights up over your head, "how about a blowjob, then?"

"A b- how would that be any better?" Mark chuckles, a hand scratching the back of his head just like many times before, a gentle blush on his cheeks giving away that he's interested in your offer.

"You're not doing anything, it's all me," you suggest, then fall onto the ground with your knees, shuffling over to sit between Mark's spread legs once again. Mark looks around, unsureness in his eyes, but the noticeable tent in his pants gives away how much he wants this.

"Please, Markie," you pout with pleading eyes, hands coming up to stroke over his thighs, "please let me suck your cock."

"Holy s-, do you have to be like this?" Mark whines, throwing his head back as your hands draw closer and closer to where he wants them most.

"Like what?" You grin, lower lip caught in between your teeth as you look up at him mischievously.

"So freaking hot," Mark sighs as your hands reach his bulge palming him throughoutly through his pants. His hips begin bucking into your touch, eyes closing as he relishes in the feeling of your hands on him. Shortly after, you begin opening the button and fly of his jeans, gently tugging on them which causes Mark to lift his hips so you can rid him of his pants.

"Fuck, Markie, look what a big boy you are, " you beam, repeating your actions of palming his bulge, though this time his reaction is certainly more intense with fewer layers of clothing in the way.

Leaning forwards, you press your nose into the warmth of his clothed dick, inhaling deeply. Your eyelids flutter at the musky scent as it hits your olfactory receptors, groaning quietly, then you begin mouthing over his boxers, making sure to lick over his tip in the process. "You smell so fucking good, baby."

Mark's thighs tremble next to your head, and your hands find comfort in stroking over the expanse of his thigh muscles, raking your nails over them to make Mark shiver. The sounds he lets out at your ministrations sound heavenly to you, spurring you on to dig a little deeper.

"Will you let me taste you, pretty boy?" You ask, dragging your nose along the hardness in his boxers one last time before you sit back, gaze catching Mark's lidded from lust eyes.

"Yes," he breathes out, pulling his underwear down his legs quickly, chest heaving with every deep breath he takes to try to calm down his raging nerves. The moment his length springs free, you feel yourself salivate, licking your lips briefly as you take in his memorable size. Without hesitating any longer, you wrap your hand around his shaft, stroking gently to work him up a little more, enjoying the hot heaviness in your palm to the fullest.

Finally, you lean forward, gently pressing your tongue against his tip, and Mark nothing but whimpers, the muscles of his thighs clenching together with his abs that you can slightly make out with the way his shirt has ridden up.

"You taste so good, too," you sigh, flattening your tongue to drag it all over his cock, forcing a moan out of Mark's throat. As you look up at him, he looks so fucking beautiful, so fucked out and destroyed already that you feel like you could cum dry from the sight alone. His eyes are glazed over, eyelids heavy as he watches you lick over him with his mouth agape.

"Has anyone ever given you a blowjob before?" You wonder, leaning down to suck one of his balls into your mouth as your hand keeps rubbing over his shaft with the help of your spit as lubricant.

"N-no."

"Ah, so I'm your first?"

"Yes."

"Then let's make this count." And before Mark can question your statement, you move back up and slide him right between your lips, taking as much as you can of him at once, and Mark moans out so loudly you're sure someone must have heard.

You keep bobbing your head up and down his shaft, making sure your tongue teases him in all the right places, and pushing yourself to take him further and further into your mouth until his tip hits the back of your throat.

Mark stumbles over his words above you, all kinds of syllables falling from his lips in an attempt to comprehend the pleasure he's feeling. You let out a few humming sounds yourself that vibrate against his cock, too emerged in the feeling and just how hot the entire situation is.

Catching your breath, you pull him out of your mouth. Finally, enough drool has gathered all over his length and you wrap your hand around his tip, stroking it by flicking your wrist, thumb playing with his slit. Mark whines out, hands gripping the bench beneath him so tightly his knuckles turn white.

You begin taking him into your mouth once again, keeping eye contact as you swirl your tongue around his tip and taking his balls into your hand to fondle them. Something inside of Mark seems to snap, his hands coming up to hold onto your hair, carefully but desperately pushing you further down onto his cock. Your eyes roll back at his sudden roughness, enjoying the way his tip briefly catches at the back of your throat, then slides further down. Mark moans loudly, never ending sounds of pleasure leaving his pretty lips as he watches you taking him whole, your nose brushing into the cloud of public hair around his dick.

Mark's hips begin moving on their own accord, thrusting his hardness into your esophagus over and over again, not even giving you the opportunity to breathe properly as he chases his high, though you welcome him using your mouth and throat to his heart's desire. Tears gather in your eyes and soon begin running down your cheeks. You rub your thighs together to gain some friction, finally slipping a hand inside your panties.

"C-can I finish on your f-face?" Mark asks shakily, and you groan out in response, doing your best to nod while trying to force down your gag reflex as your fingers rub harsh circles into your clit. Mark thrusts a few more times, then pulls out of your mouth, making you pant before opening your mouth widely.

Mark tucks on his cock thrice, then groans out deeply. Your eyelids flutter shut just as you cum together with him, hole clenching around nothing as Mark paints his cum all over your cheeks, tongue and chin.

You feel a little light headed as you realize what just happened, you're tasting Mark's cum as you lick around your lips, then swallow all of it. Mark sinks down exhaustedly, flinching as you wrap your lips around his tip once last time to clean the cum off of it.

"Thank you," he finally manages to get out.

"Anytime!" You smile, wiping the remaining cum stains off your skin with a tissue you find in your pocket.

Mark takes another half minute to really come back to his senses, then begins speaking once more, "no really, I really appreciate it! Like, it was really good! Felt great! I hope you're okay too, but it seemed like you were enjoying it, so-"

"Mark," you giggle and put a hand on his thigh, "I loved it too. Great cock, by the way!"

"Uh-"

"Markie, I want to be honest with you," you start again, on a more serious note, and Mark nods attentively, "this is new territory for me. I usually just leave after doing something like this, but I kind of really, really want to cuddle... so..."

Not long after, you find yourself laying in Mark's bed, his shirt covering your body as you move closer to him, allowing him to wrap an arm around you. It's silent, all you hear is his heart contently thumping away in his chest as you place your ear on it, along with his gentle breathing. The situation, not weird at all, still feels foreign to you. You've never been a cuddler, but with Mark, you want to stay wrapped up in his arms until the day you die.

"I can't believe we did that," Mark speaks up, causing you to turn your head towards his face.

"Do you regret it?"

A few seconds go by, then Mark answers, "no. I really enjoyed myself. I don't regret it."

"Good," you sigh, fingers dancing around Mark's toned stomach, watching his abs flex as you tickle him slightly.

"What about you, though."

"What about me?"

"Yeah, you didn't even-"

"Oh, yeah, I did."

"Oh," Mark purses his lips as his eyebrows raise, "w- how? When?"

"You're so cute," you giggle, pressing a kiss to his chest.

"But it wasn't... like, it wasn't me who made you- you know?"

"Are you offering to get me off right now?"

An unsure squeaking noise comes from Mark above you, and you sit up with a wide grin. The sight of you causes the corner of Mark's mouth to rise up as well, "I mean if you want to."

"As if I'd say no to that," you wink before laying back down, Mark hovering over you within seconds pressing a few kisses to the skin of your neck before laying down beside you again, running his hand over your body towards your panties.

Just like you did, he touches you over the fabric before really diving in, stroking over your folds and clit with such expertise that you're confused if he's really only done this twice.

You press your hips further into his touch, secretly hooking your hands into the hem of your panties to pull them down yourself.

"Someone's eager," Mark chuckles, allowing you to rid yourself of the flimsy piece of clothing before creating some skin on skin contact with your slit. You hum delightfully at the sensation, spreading your legs further for his ministrations.

His fingers collect the wetness pooling at your entrance, spreading it around your folds gently, then concentrate on rubbing circles into your clit. You moan softly at the feeling, loving the way his fingers feel.

"I kinda- uh..." Mark speaks lowly against the shell of your ear causing goosebumps to form all over your body, "can I eat you out?"

You whine out, nodding your head. "Have you done that before?"

Mark shakes his head, then shuffles down the bed until he's seated in between your thighs. You spread your legs as far as you comfortably can. Mark's eyes are glued to your glistering folds, his eyes sparkling with excitement and lust at what's to come.

"Just do whatever you feel like doing, just try everything out, I'll tell you if something's not good, yeah?" You suggest, the last words almost getting stuck in your throat as Mark dives in, flattening his tongue to lick a fat stripe over your entire core, only to then continue with smaller licks over your clit. You mewl at the feeling, pushing further into his face, and his hands find comfort grabbing onto your thighs to keep them spread open for him.

From time to time, he looks up at you, the look in his hooded eyes sexy and aroused as he blinks slowly, letting his tongue test the waters around your most private parts. Soon, he gets bolder, suckling on your clit, even gently nibbling on it to make you dizzy with excitement, then he licks further down, plunging his tongue into your hole.

You moan out loudly, immediately loving the feeling, but as quickly as it came, it's gone again.

"Was that bad?"

"N-no, no, no! Good, was good, please, do that-" the words tumble out of your mouth until you feel him repeating the action, sinking his tongue into you as far as he can, licking around, thrusting in and out. You sigh, "- again..."

You press your hips into his face, practically riding his tongue at this point. Quickly, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten, heat spreading through your body rapidly, so you sneak a hand down to rub at your clit. The action obviously doesn't go unnoticed by Mark who reacts immediately by swatting your hand away and replacing it with his own.

"Fuck," you whimper, struggling to keep your eyes open at this point as Mark presses into your clit, massaging it throughoutly, " don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, don't- stop..." Your orgasm comes crashing down on you quicker than you thought at the sight of Mark grinding his hips into the mattress and groaning into your folds. You swear you see stars as you clench down on Mark's tongue who licks you lovingly through your high.

All you want to do is pull Mark up, kiss him, and tell him you're in love with him.

"That was great, but I should stop talking before I say something I'll regret," you inform Mark breathlessly who strokes over your thighs a few times before sitting up and plopping down next to you.

"Well, what if I have the same thing in mind?"

"Then it's still too early to say that," you decide, then gesture towards his dick "do you need help with that?"

"No, thank you." He grins, then begins cringing at the sticky feeling inside his pants. Silently, you smile at him, the fond look on your face probably speaking paragraphs about what's going on inside your mind, but you don't mind.

You want him to know, want to reveal how much you like him.

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uzis-dopeaf-hat · 17 days

Text

Murder Drones HumanAU + some updates

Summary: Uzi doesn't get along with anyone in her school, let alone her town. Why would she ever do anything for them?

After a fiasco in their chemistry class, she and three other students are forced to compensate by participating in the entertainment portion of Copper-9's big fall festival.

Uzi is almost tempted to just take the three weeks suspension and marks on her record, but if she wants to get out of this town she can't have anything stopping her. So, VERY reluctantly...

She agrees.

A/N: Still planning on a Nuzi post, but I've been so busy that I haven't had time to work on it too much this weekend.

As compensation... I have this?

I pulled that summary out of my ass, but I have a very vague idea of how this series would go. There would be probably at least two parts, each being multi-chapter with, of course, eventual Nuzi. Planning on sprinkling a bit of SmokeyBat and... Thuzi? Thi?? Uzid??? I don't actually know since I don't really... ship them?? Lol, which is a bit funny once you read what I've cooked so far.

Obviously, human au, with like 50 other themes mixed in (eventually). ALSO nothing supernatural (sorry if you wanted that, admittedly I did ponder the idea), but I still think this will be super interesting if I'm able to get a good outline going. I've been thinking about this idea for a few weeks.

Partly inspired by both Broken Balance by Gamecube19 and by chance by spero11 (which if you somehow haven't read I highly recommend). If I end up writing more of this it'll make a bit more sense where my inspiration came from.

Anywho, enough about me, lemme share my weird ideas with you all!

Sidenote: This fic will have NO smut or gore but WILL end with Nuzi if I pursue it, it just needs to simmer :)

Words: 2444

Uzi grumbles as the two idiots sitting in front of her continue their discussion on whether or not they can create their alcohol with the chemicals they were provided with for their chemistry lab that day. They were testing reaction types with certain compounds in various ways, which is up to their lab groups.

This usually isn’t a huge issue as her seatmate- Thad- is typically her assigned partner. Each lab table could fit four people, and since Thad was constantly to the right of her, he’d usually take pity when the teacher made the students choose their partners. Fortunately, that was a rare case when the teacher was in a good mood (which was never) and decided to let them choose their partners freely.

And in those rare cases, every single time Uzi tried to insist she was fine by herself, hide, or even pretend she already had a partner, the teacher has always either caught her or assigned her to an already made group (and this never ends up well for anyone in the classroom). Hence, why Thad (literally the ONLY person who talked to her outside of class occasionally) would always partner up with the girl.

She pretends it doesn’t make her chest feel funny.

But in a not super rare case (unfortunately), the whole lab table was required to conduct today's experiment together.

In front of Uzi sat Sam, the typical resident stoner one can probably conjure up easily in their head. The stereotypical guy, except maybe the lack of obnoxiously dirty and long hair. He always had a beanie on like Uzi herself, though he has a buzzcut whenever it's off… which is seldom (once again, like Uzi).

Uzi wouldn’t mind the boy if he remembered… well, anything about her… but more importantly their freaking assignments that he constantly forgets to finish (she makes Braidon do Sam’s share).

He always forgot her name, and even after re-informing him, he again forgets within the next few minutes. It's probably because of all the edibles he eats. Uzi thanks god every day she doesn’t have to deal with the stench of weed by this boy because god only knows if he’d survive her rage of having to smell that shit all day. They have close lockers so she wouldn’t be able to escape that reek even if she wanted to.

As for Braidon, he was a stuck-up, rude, and obnoxious redhead. He and Thad were definitely on the higher ranking when it came to their school's hierarchy, but unlike Thad, he flaunted that status in the stupidest ways Uzi could imagine. Constantly cut others in line at lunch, always making sure he’d “accidentally” spill his food onto the girl (which, way to get creative, idiot? Lizzy’s pulled that one back in Middle School), being the goddamned teacher's pet while borderline tattling on Uzi for things that never even happened (like the one time Rebecca stuck gum in another girls hair and had Braidon blame Uzi for it), and most recently, decided to “confiscate” Uzi’s belongings for a search as another student has supposedly reported to a staff member that she had firearms on her.

Yeah, Uzi wasn’t fond of the asshole. Her dad always tells her not to fight so much with the other students, always urging her to make amends with the boy. She knows this is only because Braidon’s dad had a huge say in the community, along with one of the bigger funders of their shitty school. Uzi knows she could easily bend that bastard if he ever tried to get physical with her. She knew better than to retaliate physically with so much stacked against her (police chief's daughter or not), but she had her exceptions.

The last time a bully tried really hurting her she kicked them straight in the face. Uzi had never felt more alive. Her dad wasn’t pleased with her two-week suspension, though.

But back to the shithead, he and his annoying ass tie made its presence known by discussing loudly with Sam about the lack of possibility of turning their little chemistry experiment into alcohol of all things.

“Sam of all the things you could contribute, why choose this ridiculous notion? Whoever you give that to is going to end up in the hospital.” Braidon states, seemingly uninterested. Thad lets out a chuckle as Sam just gives a lazy shrug, mixing some chemicals he stole from one of the cabinets into a spare beaker that was left on the shelves. “Just lookin’ for somethin’ to do. Wasn’t this the uh- like, what we’re supposed to be doing anyways?” Sam questions, still casually mixing.

Braidon scoffs as he recites their assignment to Sam. Uzi growls and gets out her worksheet, intending to finish her work before class ends. With or without the help of her partners. Braidon will just figure out the work himself and give the information to Sam to copy.

She notices Thad watching her as she prepares their materials. She flushes a bit but elects to ignore her the heat rushing to her face as she finishes setting up, turning to Thad when she’s deemed everything ready.

“Ya ready?” She asks, making sure she doesn’t sound too interested in what he’ll have to say. Thad nods before he quirks a brow at the two in front of them. “What about them?”

Uzi rolls her eyes, “They’ll catch up, as always”. Uzi cracks her knuckles. “Let’s just get this over with already so I can stop talking to you idiots”.

Thad only nods, used to Uzi’s blase and hostile nature to be able to not feel too offended.

As the two work, Braidon seems to notice them moving on without him and Sam and huffs, before beginning to write down their data and shoving Sam in the arm to try and steer his attention at the task at hand (which has about a 30% success rate).

Despite Uzi’s general dislike of her school’s populace (or her town), they’re usually able to get shit done with minimal issues. Thad and Sam typically make for good buffers between the others. If left alone with each other for too long, an argument is guaranteed, along with a high chance of Uzi having a nice visit to the principal's office.

With that being said, minimal incidents does not mean zero incidents.

The group finishes their lab reports first, thanks to Braidon and Uzi’s high intelligence (not that anyone is singing her praises), and they proceed to turn in their papers. Uzi cleans up the lab table since Sam is too doped up to realize it needs cleaning, while Braidon doesn’t care to help if it means any more interaction with Uzi, which neither of them wants.

Thad, of course, helps. And Uzi makes sure to be extra careful when he hands her a beaker he just rinsed, cautiously preventing her fingers from grazing his (even if she may desperately crave to). It doesn’t take long to finish, and Uzi lets out a sigh as she places herself back on her stool, checking her phone and noting that she only has twenty minutes before class ends. Luckily, this is her last class of the day. Once that bell rings she is out.

Uzi leans down to grab her bag below her seat, struggling, before letting out a defeated groan and hopping out of her chair to reach it instead. She places it on the table before jumping back in her spot yanking her earbuds from the bag's side pocket and shoving them in her ears and phone aux.

She puts on one of the many random playlists she’s painfully curated over the years on, turning up the volume probably too high to drown out her shitty class, before grabbing one of her journals (which looked to have been used quite a bit), a blue and a black ballpoint pen (she’d need new ones soon), and a thick folder filled with varying sizes of used paper (both blank and assignments).

The others ignore her, Thad knowing better than to look at her work as last time he did so she shouted at him so suddenly that he couldn’t hear out of his left ear for the entirety of football practice.

Uzi turns to where she had left the journal’s bookmark ribbon, the page showing different designs for a variety of weapons, the next page is the start of a messy sketch of a landscape being made with small notes added here and there. It was a blank journal, so no lines obscured the mess of ink she had left behind.

Uzi hums as her music continues to blare, turning it up more as some lab tables away a group is having a spat about their results.

Next, she grabs her folder, which is purple and made of cheap cardboard. The spine was starting to deteriorate and the smaller subfolders had been repaired with black duct tape to help keep it together, barely keeping all her papers together (she’d have to delegate some old papers to recycling or her closet soon). All of the papers were filled with notes from over the years, keeping the most important ones to the left, and the most relevant to the right. Uzi grabbed one from the right subfolder and turned it around to check the back, before setting it down and closing the folder.

On one side of the paper was a one-page assignment that had been graded and returned, a large ‘100%’ in red marker covering the top. On the other side, there were more notes, mostly about some sort of story concept, along with side notes to footnotes, unorganized and multicolored. Uzi looks at some of the purple ink left on the paper, making a mental note to grab a pack of purple pens as well when she eventually goes to the store.

Looking at the paper, she smiles a bit before getting to work in her journal, making certain lightly sketched areas more detailed, adding elements she had previously intended to incorporate. In the corner in all caps in small letters, the words “DEATH’S DRONES: PLANET-9 CONCEPT.” Underneath in an even smaller font was “title a work in progress.” Uzi wasn’t very proud of her naming abilities.

As the girl continued her sketching, she didn’t notice her table mates suddenly begin to speak. Not until someone rounded the table and painfully ripped one of her earbuds out.

“OW, What the absolute f-” She’s interrupted from her anger by the suspect, Braidon, tutting at her and waving a hand.

“Oh, hush up you’ll be fine. We just needed you for something real quick.”

Uzi growls as she narrows her eyes, now noticing that Thad and Sam are also staring at her, with Sam at some point having also stood up and placed next to Braidon. He was still holding the beaker from earlier. She checks her phone.

‘2:53,’ a little over five minutes left of this hellhole. Uzi detested the idea of getting into an argument with the idiot in front of her and having to stay at the school for any longer than she wanted because she had somehow “instigated” the dickhead and would probably have to attend detention.

With a groan, the girl relented. “And why the hell do you need me?”

There’s a flash in Braidon’s eyes, and Uzi glares harder. It’s so unfair that the three surrounding her are still taller than her even on this death trap of a chair. Bullshit is what this is, but she’s not about to back down just because of a little height difference.

“Just drink this, Doorman.” He grabs the beaker Sam is holding and shoves it in Uzi’s face. Uzi looks down at it, eyes widening in surprise. Thad lets out a small noise, seemingly debating whether or not to step in. Sam, to his credit, finally looks a little less out of it and gives Braidon a confused look.

“Uhh… I thought you said if someone drank that it would-” He’s cut off when Braidon holds his hand up. The taller of the two glares, “Ah- I was just being hyperbolic, Sam. She’ll be fine! And hey, if this works, Chad and Brad will have something new to serve at their next party. Or you, Thad.” He gives a glance to the jock as he gives out a mirthful smile.

Then, he turns back to Uzi, placing the beaker in front of her. “Whenever you’re ready.” He grins, eyes sharp.

Uzi stares at him, then at Sam, then Thad.

Braidon has a smug grin, his arms crossed as he waits impatiently for Uzi to take a sip of Sam’s concoction. Sam himself looks a little confused but mostly tired. He gives a small yawn and when he catches Uzi’s gaze gives a lazy wave. Thad just looks pensive, smiling encouragingly when their eyes connect.

Uzi takes a breath, pausing her music and calmly taking out her other earbud, before picking up the beaker.

Then, as she stares directly at the redhead, pours the liquid down the sink drain that lies in the middle of their table.

Sam laughs a bit, not caring about his half-hour of work being drained away. Thad looks a little relieved, though stares at the sink confused.

And Braidon looks pissed.

Uzi sticks her tongue out at him and as she’s about to speak, a slow, crescendo of sizzling reaches her ears.

Confused, she turns to Thad who’s still looking at the sink, seemingly startled. She turns only to jolt when she realizes something is coming up from the drain. Both she and Thad bolt up from their seats (Uzi with some difficulty) when the sizzling gets louder and louder.

She bumps into the two boys behind her, but she’s too spooked to care. It seems they have the same mindset as neither comment on it.

Suddenly, there’s a loud ‘pop!’ and a large flash that engulfs the whole room.

And when the light fades away? Uzi pales at what she sees.

The sink was ruined, the metal corroded away and the surface of the table surrounding the sink also had been damaged. Whatever Sam had mixed had eaten at the metal and table, leaving behind smoke that thankfully seemed to be teetering out.

The entire class was quiet, staring at the ruins of the corner lab table with wide eyes and open mouths.

Until a very angry teacher marches up to the four and shouts.

“YOU FOUR, TO THE OFFICE. NOW.”

None of them protested as all four rushed out of the classroom.

Uzi’s hands were shaking.

She ignores it.

...so uh... let me know what y'all think! I don't have a name for this AU or story yet, but as I type more behind the scenes I'm sure I'll think of something... hopefully

I also had a helper with me as I wrote both this post and the "first chapter" so to speak.

Okay, so I don't have a beta and I probably won't need one (Grammarly has my back! I uh... think,,) but N was nice company lol. Uzi will be out soon and you bet I'm gonna go crazy with that when it comes.

The N Shimeji was created by Polar Summit, and you can find their other Shimeji projects here where they update their works!

Thanks for reading all my bullshit if you've made it this far! If I end up pursuing this I'll post it on my AO3, with some potential changes to this "first chapter" (which I want to make a little closer to 4k-5k words).

I won't reveal too much since I really like this idea and I uhhh kinda don't want people to take it? But feel free to ask questions and speculate lol love y'all <3

...

aannnd they've multiplied. goodnight.

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ddarker-dreams · 2 years

Text

Reunion. Yan Chrollo x F Reader

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, Chrollo is awful here Big Time oh lord oh god oh no, unbalanced power dynamics. Word count: 2.3k.

It was a testament to the poor quality of your company when every red light you received felt akin to personal torture.

Optimism, that’s what you need. Some adjustment in your mindset that will allow you to view this glass as half full rather than half empty. Optimism. How you loathe the word. You felt optimistic this morning, while eating warm pastries from the hotel’s continental breakfast on your room’s balcony. At lunch when you visited a café and found your drink was already covered, another customer had paid it forward. There was no way you could’ve predicted the sweet taste of the day turning dry and sour a few short hours later.

He’s saying something, you think, spinning pretty words from the loom that is his mouth. You pay him no mind. Rather, you find interest in the shifting landscape of your hometown, as observed from the passenger seat’s tinted windows.

The video rental shop you looked forward to visiting every Friday has been replaced by a liquor store. Your favorite diner is gone now too, the land bulldozed and the signs standing upon its grave promising ample warehouse space as soon as next year. How odd, since the day they promised potential leasers the project to be complete passed about five years ago. A waste, what a waste.

“Are you intent on ignoring me all night? That isn’t very mature of you, [First].”

Maybe you’d think better of it if you were in a clearer state of mind, since alcohol’s pleasant buzz holds you prisoner now, but you respond with unbridled antipathy.

“Did you expect me to be in a talkative mood?”

“When there’s so much to discuss, yes.”

He’s not wrong on that front. You’d rather cut your own tongue out than admit it, though.

“There isn’t anything to discuss,” your rebuttal comes swift. Panicked. “I just want to get back to my hotel and sleep.”

“Hence my driving you, dear.”

“No, you’re driving me because my mom insisted—”

The words lodge themselves in your throat and you make no effort to free them. It isn’t right. For him to be here, where you grew up. In the town where you got your first part-time job, begged your older sibling to drive you to the mall on the weekends so that you could hang out with your friends, crushed over a cute boy from your class who worked at the movie theater. Chrollo didn’t belong here. It’s intrusive, a violation, a breach of your personal privacy to the highest degree. If your body rejects foreign pathogens that would seek to do you harm, it only makes sense that you would give him the same treatment.

Home is supposed to be your sanctuary — his presence is defiling that. Corrupting and warping it as if to say you could never be rid of him. It didn’t matter if you locked the doors and held them shut. He would always find a way in. Always.

“Did you lose your train of thought?”

“Yes,” you lie without hesitation. He knows it, you’re certain he does, but he’s already claimed victory. In the aftermath of a battle, the victor takes inventory of what they’ve gained. That has to be what he’s doing now. Sorting through the spoils and gloating.

“A pity,” Chrollo confesses. Though you don’t look at him, you can tell he’s smiling by his voice alone. “I would’ve loved to hear your thoughts.”

“Somehow, I’m doubtful about that.”

Yet again, in another show of mockery from a cruel and indifferent universe, the traffic light overhead turns red upon your approach. Just like its predecessor. And the one before that. You’d think it was rush hour by the traffic lights alone, but it’s eleven o’clock at night, and you haven’t seen another car in minutes.

“On the topic of your family…” he trails off, purposeful in prolonging the silence, so that your suspense might accumulate. You grip your clutch tighter. “I wish I’d gotten to meet them sooner. We never got around to it, did we? Ah, the stories from your childhood were especially a delight. The senior photo in your father’s wallet was too. You’ll have to tell me what quote you picked sometime.”

You don’t want to think about it, you don’t want to think about it. How a murderer shook hands with your father. Made pleasant small talk with your mother. Discussed cars and current events with your brother. All the while you sat sinking in the restaurant’s booth, your appetite lost, forced to regurgitate some flimsy excuse about why your family had never met your oh-so charming ‘friend’.

“To think I’ve been your first boyfriend in such a long time, too. Your ex still lives in this town, doesn’t he? Working at that… hm, what was it… gas station. I wonder if I’ll get to meet him as well.”

“We are not dating, not anymore,” you remind him, aghast. “And that’s a respectable occupation, anyway.”

“By your father’s tone, he certainly didn’t seem to think so.”

That’s right. What an excellent job Chrollo did at establishing himself as appealing in every prospect, from the choice sports car sitting in the parking lot for them to ogle over, to paying for everyone’s dinner by the night’s end. How they must’ve thought reciprocating his affections would be a no-brainer. Still, you place no blame on your family — everything is his fault from beginning to end. There was a time when you were similarly so blinded by his presence that you assumed there was no darkness to be found.

“You have zero business judging the employment of others with the line of ‘work’ you’re in.”

“Perhaps. And yet,” with the hand not on the steering wheel, he motions to your person. “You have no problem wearing a dress I obtained from my despicable ‘line of work’.”

Heat rises to your face and situates itself there, letting you know it won’t be going away anytime soon.

The garment had already cast guilt on you. After discovering the truth behind Chrollo’s weeks of absence and seemingly endless pit of money, you rid yourself of every material item he’d ever given you. Bags, jewelry, purses, shoes, and clothes; they were either donated or thrown out as looking at them for too long nauseated you. This dress was the lone exception, not that arguing this point would do you any good. You were reminded of your cousin’s wedding and the subsequent need to fly home for it while ridding yourself of his gifts.

The high-end places you’d undoubtedly be attending for such an event spurred you to save one, just one, of his expensive presents. Never had you expected to “coincidentally run in” to him and be subjected to his torments over the moral ambiguity.

After what feels like an eternity, he turns into the hotel you were able to reserve on a limited budget; a potential light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe he’ll part ways with you here. Sever whatever connection bound you in the past, giving you freedom to pursue a future without him in the picture. He should feel satisfied over the agony he subjected you to this evening. For months, if not years, you’ll endure questions from your family about that fascinating stranger who happened upon you that one night and proved himself a desirable bachelor.

“Did you not work out? Have you ever thought about contacting him again? Maybe smooth things over?” Queries such as this would be your personal agony, handcrafted by the man in question himself.

“There’s no need to sit there and pout,” Chrollo reassures, though his words promise the opposite of that. “You look lovely in it. And as you said, I have no business judging others.”

He doesn’t, but he’s going to anyway.

You shrink into yourself when he places his arm behind the passenger seat, a habit you noticed he has whenever he backs up. Before, it birthed life to butterflies in your stomach, but now, you want to create as much distance as possible. No space would ever feel like enough.

He turns the keys in the ignition and the car’s humming falls silent.

For some time, the both of you sit there, neither moving nor making a sound. Your eyes remain firm on your lap while you can feel his stare searing into your profile. You’re agitated, at a loss on what to do, and most pressing of all, you’re tired. His presence promises more than ill-timed appearances and caustic words meant to eat away at your high defenses. Considering this, your stomach twists painfully. No amount of faux bravado on your part can hide your apprehension from him. He smells it out, like a shark sensing blood in water.

All you had in your arsenal were words, sharp yet ultimately harmless words. What he boasted in his… you dread the thought.

“What do you want, Chrollo?”

It’s not that you want to ask, but that you feel there’s no other option available. This was a merry-go-round ride that would keep spinning until one of you fell off, and if anyone was going to fall, it would be you.

“I’ll let you decide that.”

He sounds sincere, however, you know better than to believe that. Suspicion must be written all over your face. He takes your hand in his and you let him. You wonder if he knows it’s his hands you fear the most, rivaled only by his hollow eyes that at times appear omnipotent. As they do now. At any given moment, he could see all of you, while you saw a mere fraction of him.

Maybe it’s a blessing he revealed only so much. If you witnessed the full depths of his depravity, you might never surface for air again, drowning in a vat thicker than tar.

How can so much darkness permeate from another human being? It was times like this where you couldn’t be certain if he was one.

“I’ll either stay or leave by your discretion,” he announces, causing your eyebrows to scrunch together. Just when you thought you’d taught yourself to expect the unexpected with him, he finds new ways to throw you off-balance.

This has to be a trick. Something is hiding in the fine print, and you’re intent on finding out. “What does you staying look like?”

“You were always quick on the uptake,” he’s pleased, evidently, a factor he makes known by pressing a chaste kiss to your hand. All your self-control goes into not pulling yourself free. It may have been intuition or paranoia, but something told you he’d sooner let you dislocate your shoulder than allow you to pull away. Not after he’s waited months for this.

“We’ll get out of this car together. You’ll let me into your hotel room — your bed — then your life. Your parents invited you to breakfast tomorrow, didn’t they? I’ll come with you. I’ll see your childhood home, look at old photo albums at your mother’s behest and laugh at the stories she tells me from your youth. I’ll compliment the arrangement of the furniture, how the colors go together just so. She’ll be simply taken with me. Your father, too, naturally. I’ve already begun to make excellent progress on that front.”

You don’t think you could breathe if you wanted to.

Chrollo leans in closer, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice dropping to an intimate whisper that made your earlier dinner want to claw back up your throat.

“I will attend your cousin’s wedding this weekend as your date. I’ll charm your aunts, impress your uncles. Play with your nieces and nephews. You can introduce me however you like. A friend, a colleague from work. They’ll know. They’ll read between the lines. They’ll ask when they can expect to see you walk down the aisle to me someday in the future. You can cry, if you so please, but they’ll simply mistake it as a maiden who is head over heels in love. I’ll tell them to keep their calendars free next June, and they’ll laugh, perhaps you will too.”

He squeezes your hand to anchor you. Otherwise, you think your mind would’ve given you the reprieve of going someplace else, someplace safe and sane and anywhere but here. Hell itself may be preferable, if you weren’t already there.

“I will insert myself so deeply into your life, that to cut me out, you’d have to slice into yourself as well.”

You’re trembling now, like a leaf caught in a hurricane, with no hope of ever reaching solid ground again. Pushed and pulled by the whims of a being that so plainly outclasses you in every category.

What could you do? What could you say? Did it even matter what approach you tried to take? The web was spun and you were caught. The more you struggle the deeper embedded you become.

So you play by his rules and voice yet another question you don’t really want to know the answer to.

“And…” your lips are dry, so terribly dry, as is your mouth, “If… if I ask you to leave?”

He pulls back — not that it matters. It still feels like he’s there, the warmth of his breath, the woody notes of his cologne. Haunting you. Dominating you. Asserting that this nightmare isn’t over, oh no, it’s just getting started.

“That’s simple,” Chrollo takes your pallid face in his hands, stroking your cheek, gazing down at your through thick eyelashes. What gleams in his lifeless eyes, you can’t say for certain. You think it might be best if you remain ignorant to it. “You’ll come with me.”

A kiss to your cheek. He lingers this time, you’re in no position to protest. He savors the closeness he brought by interlocking you to his person with ironclad handcuffs.

“So, what will it be? I stand by what I said earlier. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Be a dear and share them with me.”

#chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo x reader #chrollo lucilfer x reader #hxh x reader #yandere hxh x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #reader insert #yandere reader insert #my stuff

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cliff-montgomery · 2 months

Text

The Thorny Problem of Straw Purchases in U.S. Gun Law

by Cliff Montgomery - Feb. 15th, 2024

Yesterday’s mass shooting at a parade intended to celebrate the Kansas City Chiefs’ recent Super Bowl victory over the San Francisco 49s once again reminds us of the need for serious gun laws and gun law reform.

On February 9th, two short reviews on current federal gun laws were released by the Congressional Research Service (CRS). The CRS refers to itself as a “ non-partisan shared staff to congressional committees and Members of Congress.” In short, it prepares concise, easy-to understand reports on matters of the moment to members of the U.S. and their affiliated staff members.

We will cover those two short studies for our readers. Tonight, we look at the report Gun Control: Straw Purchase and Gun Trafficking Provisions in Public Law 117-159, better known as the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act.

Straw purchases are defined by the study as “illegal firearms transactions in which a person serves as a middleman by posing as the transferee, but is actually acquiring the firearm for another person.”

Below, we offer readers most of the central statements found in the CRS report:

“On June 25, 2022, President Joe Biden signed into law the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act (BSCA; S. 2938; P.L. 117-159). This law includes the Stop Illegal Trafficking in Firearms Act, provisions of which amend the Gun Control Act of 1968 (GCA, 18 U.S.C. §§921 et seq.) to more explicitly prohibit straw purchases and illegal gun trafficking. Related provisions expand federal law enforcement investigative authorities.

Federal Firearms Law

“The GCA is the principal statute regulating interstate firearms commerce in the United States. The purpose of the GCA is to assist federal, state, and local law enforcement in ongoing efforts to reduce violent crime.

“Congress constructed the GCA to allow state and local governments to regulate firearms more strictly within their own borders, so long as state law does not conflict with federal law or violate constitutional provisions.

“Hence, one condition of a federal firearms license for gun dealers, which permits the holder to engage in interstate firearms commerce, is that the licensee must comply with both federal and state law.

“Also, under the GCA there are several classes of persons prohibited from shipping, transporting, receiving, or possessing firearms or ammunition (e.g., convicted felons, fugitives, unlawful drug users). It was and remains unlawful under the GCA for any person to transfer knowingly a firearm or ammunition to a prohibited person (18 U.S.C. §922(d)). Violations are punishable by up to 10 years’ imprisonment.

“The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) is the principal agency that administers and enforces the GCA, as well as the 1934 National Firearms Act (NFA, 26 U.S.C. §§5801 et seq.).

“The NFA further regulates certain firearms deemed to be especially dangerous (e.g., machine guns, short-barreled shotguns) by taxing all aspects of the making and transfer of such weapons and requiring their registration with the Attorney General.

Straw Purchase Provision

“Straw purchases are illegal firearms transactions in which a person serves as a middleman by posing as the transferee, but is actually acquiring the firearm for another person.

“As discussed below, straw purchases are unlawful under two existing laws. Prosecutions under those provisions have been characterized by some as mere paperwork violations and, hence, inadequate in terms of deterring unlawful gun trafficking.

“P.L. 117-159 amends the GCA with a new provision, 18 U.S.C. §932, to prohibit any person from knowingly purchasing or conspiring to purchase any firearm for, on behalf of, or at the request or demand of any other persons if the purchaser knows or has reasonable cause to believe that the actual buyer

is a person prohibited from being transferred a firearm under 18 U.S.C. §922(d);

plans to use, carry, possess, or sell (dispose of) the firearm(s) in furtherance of a felony, federal crime of terrorism, or drug trafficking crime; or

plans to sell or otherwise dispose of the firearm(s) to a person who would meet any of the conditions described above.

“Violations are punishable by a fine and up to 15 years’ imprisonment. Violations made by a person knowing or having reasonable cause to believe that any firearm involved will be used to commit a felony, federal crime of terrorism, or drug trafficking crime are punishable by a fine and up to 25 years’ imprisonment.

Gun Trafficking Provision

“Gun trafficking entails the movement or diversion of firearms from legal to illegal channels of commerce in violation of the GCA. P.L. 117-159 amends the GCA with a new provision, 18 U.S.C. §933, to prohibit any person from shipping, transporting, causing to be shipped or transported, or otherwise disposing of any firearm to another person with the knowledge or reasonable cause to believe that the transferee’s use, carrying, or possession would constitute a felony.

“It would also prohibit the receipt of such firearm if the transferee knows or has reasonable cause to believe that receiving it would constitute a felony. Attempts and conspiracies to violate these provisions are proscribed as well. Violations are punishable by a fine and up to 15 years’ imprisonment. […]

GCA Interstate Transfer Prohibitions

“The GCA generally prohibits anyone who is not a Federal Firearms Licensee (FFL) from acquiring a firearm from an out-of-state source. [But] Interstate transfers among unlicensed persons may be facilitated through an FFL in the state where the transferee resides. […]

GCA Record-keeping and Straw Purchases

“Under the GCA (18 U.S.C. §926), Congress authorized a decentralized system of record-keeping allowing ATF to trace a firearm’s chain of commerce, from manufacturer or importer to dealer, and to the first retail purchaser of record. FFLs must maintain certain records, including ATF Forms 4473, on transfers to non-FFLs as well as a parallel acquisition/disposition log.

“As part of a firearms transaction, both the FFL and purchaser must truthfully fill out and sign the ATF Form 4473. The FFL must verify the purchaser’s name, date of birth, and other information by examining government-issued identification (e.g., driver’s license). The purchaser attests on Form 4473 that he or she is not a prohibited person and is the actual transferee/buyer. […]

“[However,] straw purchases are not easily detected because they only become apparent when the straw purchase is revealed by a subsequent transfer to a prohibited person.

Other GCA Gun Trafficking Prohibitions

“According to ATF, gun trafficking often entails an unlawful flow of firearms from jurisdictions with less restrictive firearms laws to jurisdictions with more restrictive firearms laws, both domestically and internationally.

“Such unlawful activities can include, but are not limited to, the following:

straw purchasers or straw purchasing rings in violation of the provisions described above;

persons engaging in the business of dealing in firearms without a license in violation of 18 U.S.C. §921(a)(1)(A), punishable by up to 5 years’ imprisonment;

corrupt FFLs dealing off-the-books in an attempt to escape federal regulation in violation of 18 U.S.C. §922(b)(5), punishable by up to 5 years’ imprisonment; and

trafficking in stolen firearms in violation of 18 U.S.C. §922(j), punishable by up to 10 years’ imprisonment.

“Under current law, offenders could potentially be charged with multiple offenses under both the preexisting GCA provisions such as those discussed above and 18 U.S.C. §§932 and 933.

“Since P.L. 117-159 went into effect on October 31, 2023, 250 defendants have been charged with gun trafficking, including 80 charged with violating the law’s straw purchase provision.

“In January 2024, the National Shooting Sports Foundation—an industry trade group for the firearms industry—noted that the ATF has yet to implement two parts of P.L. 117-159: ‘Firearm Handler Background Checks’ (FHCs) and instant point-of-sale background checks when an FFL buys from a private individual.

“The former would allow FFLs to use the NICS to background check FFL employees and has been in regulatory review since September 26, 2023. The latter would allow FFLs to instantly identify if a weapon is stolen at the point of sale by authorizing importers, manufacturers, and dealers of firearms to access records of stolen firearms in the National Crime Information Center; it has been in the interim final rule stage since May 17, 2023.”

#political news #politics #gun control #gun laws #gun violence

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feminismisstillahatemovement · 10 months

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I appreciate your answer about sex, (but do find it unsatisfactory to exclude outliers because they're inconvenient.) Incidentally, have you asked yourself what constitutes a medical condition as opposed to a natural variation? Why isn't left-handedness a medical condition when it clearly makes life harder? How about extreme introversion? -- Id ssy it boils down to values. The things we consider conditions are largely (90%) that which society does does not value. Which is why I find your hand-waving towards medical conditions unsatisfactory. It's not based in science, it's based in feeling and sentiment.

"I appreciate your answer about sex, (but do find it unsatisfactory to exclude outliers because they're inconvenient.)"

I don't see how pointing out that medical conditions that only affect 1 in however many tens of thousands of people cannot be held up as the everyday norm and be meaningfully reflective of the wider population or our general definitions of male and female is excluding outliers: I've taken the time to actively address them, and weigh up their relevance in the matter under discussion, even though it's a bit like talking about the influence and importance of a single raindrop falling in the ocean.

There's a rare medical condition called Auto-Brewery Syndrome, in which alcohol is produced in a non-drinker's stomach only through the fermentation of carbohydrate-rich food: are we excluding and 'erasing' those sufferers by not talking about them every time we discuss alcoholism or pub closing times or instruct people not to drink and drive? Or do we just all realize that outlier will not have any meaningful application in these matters for 99.99% of the people we are addressing?

There's another extremely rare condition known as 'aquagenic urticaria'; an allergy to water, in which itchy hives break out on people's bodies whenever they are exposed to it. Are we cruelly excluding the experiences of those people by not bringing them up every time we talk about going swimming or taking a shower? Should their existence make us reconsider everything we know about human beings and H20?

Also, I'm humouring you because it's an interesting topic to explore and think on, but it must be pointed out that I'm really not here to "satisfy" you in any way: you are the one putting forth the brand new, untested and outlandish position that a person can simply choose their sex or race or height or number of eyes (delete as applicable), and that the rest of the world must fall in line with that belief. But the overwhelming majority of the human race does not agree with that belief, and never has: therefore, the burden of proof and argument must remain with you.

"Incidentally, have you asked yourself what constitutes a medical condition as opposed to a natural variation? Why isn't left-handedness a medical condition when it clearly makes life harder?"

I suppose one of the differences would be that around 10% or more of the population is left-handed, and it has been reliably documented for hundreds of years in a way that the present explosion of teenage girls wanting to have their breasts cut off has not. There is, in fact, no precedent for the present situation - it doesn't even resemble the documented (and disproportionately male) cases of transvestisism throughout history.

Also, I don't see how being left-handed makes LIFE 'harder', other than human-made objects like tin openers are set up for use by the majority: I'm not aware that left-handed people are massively more likely to kill themselves than righties, for instance, or that there's huge numbers of left-handers getting both hands cut off and swapped and stitched back on so that they can feel normal.

I know the transgenderist argument is that there has apparently been a large increase in the visibility of left-handed people since religious superstitions fell by the wayside and schools stopped forcing them to write with their other hand, and hence the number of male rapists today identifying as women once arrested must simply be because of the removal of the stigma around doing so, and that these courageous and beautiful women are at last able to live their truth out in the open, or at least in the general population of a women's prison.

But is that really the only explanation? Is that really the best explanation?

To take a different example from the news, this past year there has been an unprecedented rise in people throwing soup at culturally invaluable paintings: is this best explained as something that people have always innately needed to do whenever they see a beautiful work of art, and as necessary to them as breathing for them to keep on living, but have always just been unjustly prevented from doing so by the soupnormative paintriarchy, or is it more likely that most of the people doing it today are gripped with an ideologically-created hysteria, that has told them they will be admired or rewarded in some way by their teachers and peers for doing so, which in turn will make them feel they are good and special?

Although in the case of the wide variety of medical and psychological conditions that are presently being included in the umbrella category of "gender" there must be many, many factors to take into consideration, my impression continues to be that foremost among them has to be social contagion.

"I find your hand-waving towards medical conditions unsatisfactory. "

"It's not based in science, it's based in feeling and sentiment."

Pot, meet kettle.

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loveyourownsmiilee · 2 years

Text

Talking Buddie Language: Ep 6.02

Oh Episode 6.02 was heartbreakingly amazing. Even though we did not get enough Buck and Eddie moments together, the moments we did were crucial to their overall storylines that are to come. This half of the season seems to be heavily focusing on Buck's journey and his impending breakdown that is set to occur sometime in the near future. Now I believe it was a well played move to not have Buck and Eddie heavily depend on one another this episode, especially when it came to Eddie's lack of comforting when Buck was going through his loss. I will expand on this later, but I believe this was done deliberately so to set up the significant role Eddie will play in Buck's recovery later. But for now, let's discuss their various behaviors throughout the episode.

Tunnel of Lust with a Leeway to the Closet:

We get Buck and Eddie sharing a quick look in the very beginning of this call. They are continuing what they always do, which is their seamless nonverbal communication. Any time there is something outrageous going on, they immediately glance at one another because they just know what the other is thinking in that moment. It’s sort of like their own way of letting the other know they’re there and not alone. That is the only time we see them side by side, before they get split up to work on different tasks.

(Gif by @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale)

Eddie's conversation with Benjamin was very interesting to me.

E: "What year is it?"

Ben: "The year my marriage ended."

Eddie's response is an open mouth, disbelieving of his words but also his face expresses that he can connect with Benjamin. Eddie also had a marriage that ended when Shannon asked for a divorce, then died the very next day. So it was very interesting to have that be mentioned and then focus on Eddie's reaction to that.

The mention of Gary being shot in the shoulder is also connected to Eddie, who we all know, got shot in the shoulder. His little eyebrow raise was him confirming he knows the feeling and he proves that by mentioning, "Shrapnel? Against gophers?" He knows there's something else going on that Benjamin is hiding from the rest of the crew, which is why he questions him on it. It makes me think of the possibility of Eddie hiding things from his loved ones as well, acting nonchalant as if it's no big deal, when in reality it is.

(Gif by @eddiediazdaily)

I found that entire call to be very reminiscent of other things that have happened to Eddie. Gary being buried under dirt rings Eddie being buried in 30 feet of wet earth in "Eddie Begins". And who ends up going to save Gary? Buck. The one person who was willing to dig with his fingers to get Eddie out was the one saving the buried guy.

I think when we look at last week's emergencies and think about how 2/3 emergencies included queer people, and how this emergency heavily used the theme of hiding secrets in a closet, it all begs the question of what the writers are trying to imply? Especially when they have Eddie in the forefront, dealing with all of these emergencies.

Reader Buck:

Buck is already on his journey, but it's obvious that he doesn't really know what journey it is. He took what Bobby said to him and turned to the first book he could think of, which was Bobby's Alcoholics Anonymous book. Clearly what Bobby told him in 6.01 resonated with Buck heavily and he is desperate to figure out how he can be at ease. What he doesn't understand is that it's not something he can work through while reading books or asking other people, kind of like when he asks Hen.

B: "Are you at ease?"

H: "Do I look like I'm at ease Buck?"

(Gif by @whosoldherout)

Buck is so focused on finding his own answers, that he is somewhat incognizant of his surroundings, such as Hen exhausting herself with her captaincy duties and her school workload. But whatever is on his mind has taken over, hence him asking Hen if she is at ease. The reason I believe he asked her out of anyone else, is because he views her in a much different light. She has been in his corner before and he looks up to her in many different ways. Also, considering the fact that she is interim captain, he feels more comfortable asking her because it's something he would likely ask Bobby, even though Bobby is the one who put Buck in this predicament. Buck is quick to explain his questioning to Hen.

B: "In the book it says that if I'm at ease, all my fear will fall away from me."

It's Buck's facial expressions when he explains that screams to me. His eyes are scrunched, and you can see the sadness laying in them. He looks up at Hen, as someone who has been one of his strongest support systems, and he's semi-defeated. He is begging her for advice since she has more life experience than he does. He is looking for an easy way out because he is already struggling to find the answers he so badly seeks. Unfortunately, he does not get those answers from Hen, because she is too busy with her own problems, such as juggling finals and her massive work load as interim captain. You can tell from Buck’s sad downturned expression after she leaves that it really is something that is bothering him deeply. It’s not really something he can brush off and he was hoping that Hen would be of assistance to him.

Sassy Husbands:

The one and only scene we get of Buck and Eddie alone and it's them acting like the married lovable idiots that they are. They have their arms folded identically, once more proving how in sync they really are. There is some space between the two, but it is an improvement from all the personal space we had between them last season. Their little conversation about Hen was funny because they really do have one braincell.

B: "I feel like we should do something.”

E: "Get her a pillow."

(Gif by @agentoutofdiaz)

This was important in the sense where Buck always turns to Eddie, waiting for his lead. This is a reoccurring theme in their partnership most of the time. Buck so effortlessly turns his head towards Eddie and waits for his command. I think that's what makes them work so wonderfully together. Not that Eddie is always in command or anything. But that they have such a seamless partnership that either one of them can just tilt their head towards the other and follow along without a second thought. The codependency between them is so palpable that even in the smallest of moments, it's transparent. It was funny to see Eddie being a sassy little shit and Buck looking at him in disbelief. Their banter is so cute.

I want to mention that little background scene of them sitting with Chimney while Hen studies in the loft. You can see how they're attached at the hip. They are their huddled in together and there is just a sense of familiarity and ease between the two. You can tell by that little moment how comfortable they really are with each other and the lack of personal space between them. This stems from the intense level of closeness they have with each other.

(Gifs by @thisisdiaz)

The Not So Happiness Convention:

I know a lot of people may be upset at the fact that Buck and Eddie are once again not paired off together. But I believe this was done deliberately and I'll get into it in a bit.

Here we have the 3 best friends from childhood. Eddie is helping the 2 stuck together, meanwhile Buck is with Chim helping Lev. Now Buck does what he does best, and gets Lev talking so that he can forget about the predicament he is in. He wants to make sure Lev doesn't focus on how severe things may be, not only for himself, but for his 2 other friends who are also stuck under debris. This is a great callback to when Buck was left talking to Thomas in 2.08 while the 118 tended Mitchell. The older gentleman always end up giving Buck the best life advice in my opinion.

Even when Buck and Eddie are separated, you can't make them completely forget their partner. Buck looks over towards Eddie and the other victims a few times. When Lev asks Buck about his friends, Buck is quick to reassure him that his friends are in "Great hands." Buck knows the strengths of his partner and how competent he is at his job. He does not shy away from speaking highly of Eddie whatever chance he gets. I think that's lovely to see in a masculine friendship/partnership. The healthy and easy way to compliment one another because at this point it just comes naturally to Buck. He knows Eddie is great and wants others to be reassured of that fact as well.

The conversation Buck has with Lev really does set up the stage for where his storyline is heading this season. When he asked Lev, "Why happiness convention?" I dont think he was fully prepared for the response he got.

L: "Was trying to figure out some stuff. Thought maybe we'd find the answer here."

Now this is being communicated to Buck, who is currently on his own journey to figure out some stuff. He doesn't want to make the same mistakes and wants to find the answer on what he needs to do to become at ease with himself.

B: "You, you guys weren't happy?"

When Buck starts stuttering, it means his emotions are taking over. He is an emotionally intelligent guy and in instances where he gets nervous, upset, or when his emotions are all over the place, we see him stutter. In this instance, he’s having his own internal battle because he isn’t happy himself. He’s questioning Lev because he’s sort of asking for himself.

L: “You live your whole life, doing everything you’re supposed to. Marriage, kids, big house, nice cars, weekends at the shore.”

B: “Hey that doesn’t sound too bad right?”

L: “Wasn’t, just this 40 year blur. Work and family. Never enough time. Until one day work stops. Everything finally comes in to focus. Not sure what you’re looking at. What was the point of any of it?”

Lev is basically voicing Buck his own biggest fears, things he’s been too afraid to talk about himself. You can see the fear in Buck’s eyes when he listens to Lev’s explanation. He’s immediately connecting what Lev is saying, to himself. It’s kind of like the Red situation all over again. It’s almost as if Buck sees his future exactly how Lev explained it. You see his mouth is open and his entire expression is just in disbelief and fear. His lip twitches on the right and it gives away the feeling that Buck is struggling to keep his emotions in check.

(Gif by @tawaifeddiediaz)

Now this is important because we all know how much firefighting is a part of Buck’s identity. He gives his all to the job, exactly how Red did, and even how Lev did. He saw both men regret giving so much of their lives to their jobs because they weren’t fully happy with their lives. Buck sees that as a possible future for himself and it terrifies him. That’s why he doesn’t want to let Lev go. He thinks if he lets Lev die, he’ll have a fate similar to his.

The moment Buck realizes the end is near for Lev, he immediately shuts down, lowers his eyes, indicating he’s sad.

I think it’s important to note when one of Lev’s friends ponders about his well being and makes the comment of how “Lev kept them together.” I find it interesting because Buck sort of keeps the 118 together. I know they say Chim is the heart of the 118, but I think Buck plays a very significant role in the team by keeping them all together. He is very connected to each member in differing ways, going as far as having very meaningful relationships with the other members. Bobby views Buck has a son figure, Hen views him as a younger brother, Chim is actual family, and Eddie, well Eddie is his partner and coparent. They are all connected through Buck in a sense. Buck is so passionate about his firefam that he will hold onto them all and not let anyone go. So the fact line that was thrown in there makes me think it was done to highlight how Buck keeps the 118 together.

When things take a turn for the worse, Buck lets his emotions take over completely.

L: “It’s ok, I got what I came for. I think I get it now.”

Lev sort of gave up in the end to assure the other kid was going to be ok. That’s typical self sacrificing Buck behavior. Of course Buck took it horribly, jumping in, deep breathing, refusing to let Lev go. He is completely distraught when Hen calls the time of death, once more proving that Buck saw himself in Lev and it terrified him.

(Gif by @henswilsons)

Eddie’s Subtle Way of Showing Comfort:

I think the scene in the locker room was very heartfelt. Eddie and Chimney sharing a look with each other, before reaching out to their respective partners says a lot. I loved Eddie’s little head nod towards Buck, almost as if the only thing on his mind in that moment was checking in to see if he’s ok. He wanted Chim to know that it’s possible Buck is taking it harder. They want to be there for Hen and Buck and do so by suggesting breakfast.

E: “A little grub might hit the spot.”

He glances over at Hen first before turning to look at Buck a little longer. It’s obvious Eddie is worried because he knows Buck is taking Lev’s loss horribly.

B: “Uh, not for me.”

Buck looks at Eddie while he says this. Almost silently pleading for him to not push him on this. And Eddie, knowing his partner inside and out, understands it.

E: “Fair enough.”

(Gif by @theres-a-tvjoe)

Eddie’s voice is reserved, with a hint of sadness. Sadness because he would've liked to be there for Buck, help him take his mind off things. But he also knows Buck. He knows that he will not push because when Buck is ready to talk, he will come to Eddie. That’s what's so wonderful about their partnership. They know the other is there for them at any time, but they let each other come only when they are ready. So he nods his understanding and looks down as expresses his sadness for the quickest of seconds.

I find it very telling that they didn't have Buck questioning Eddie about whether or not he is at ease. Eddie recently went through his own issues and Buck either doesn't want to have Eddie rehash those issues or he just doesn't think it's in his place to open up that conversation with him. I think also the reason we saw Buck reach out to Hen not once, but twice and not Eddie is because Eddie will come back to play a massive role in Buck’s breakdown and recovery a little further down the line.

When Eddie cracked and broke down, Buck was his main support system. Buck was the strength Eddie so desperately needed when he was at his weakest. Buck was the one who stood by his side and helped him through it all. Now perhaps Eddie is unsure of his place to reach out to Buck first. He just got back on his feet and maybe he is questioning whether or not he can be that person in which Buck leans on when he is dealing with his own problems. Whether he can provide that same solidity to Buck that he was given so freely. I feel as though it is likely that Eddie isn't confident in his own mental health just yet to fully step in with Buck, which is why we didn't see them discussing any of Buck’s issues tonight. I think as the season progresses and Buck ultimately heads towards a downward spiral, Eddie will step in and hold him through it. Provide all his strength when Buck is now at his weakest point. He will be that support Buck desperately needs because he was that for Eddie. They saved that for later episodes, which is why we didn't get much Eddie comforting Buck tonight. It’s coming though and when it does, it will be wonderful.

The Buck and Hen Of It All:

Now I will say this is the second time we get Buck discussing the things that are bothering him in one episode. Hen has always been viewed as this beautifully intelligent, wise, successful older sister type to Buck. She has stood in his corner many times and there is this distinct closeness between the two. Of course Buck feels comfortable reaching out to her, and does so about losing Lev.

B: “Hey um, wh- what do you think he meant? You know he, he said I get it now. And his eyes got all bright and he, he looked up at the sky like he just found happiness.”

Once again he’s stuttering, which means his emotions are taking over. He is upset but trying to put on this facade that it didn't really affect him that much. He’s really aiming for faux happiness and tries to throw in a smile to really sell it. It doesn’t work because Hen has other things on her mind and when she tries to leave, Buck continues with his need to get it all out.

B: “Kinda felt like he'd solved some great mystery. And then died before he could share it.”

This right here is Buck’s biggest fear. He is on this journey to find out what makes him happy, more at ease. He doesn't want to spend 40 years searching for happiness, only to find it right before he dies. As he continues, he explains about the design flaw of the building, which means he was researching, something he does when he’s upset and really worried. I’d even say it’s a coping mechanism of some sort for him.

B: “But he spent his entire life trying to do that, and only figured it out at the end? What do you think it is? Come on. You’re Hen. You always have the answers.”

H: “Some answers you gotta find for yourself, Buck.”

Once again he’s doing what he did with Bobby and that is seeking guidance from the people he looks up to the most. People who have experienced life in a different way than he has. Hen telling him that was very similar to what Bobby told him in 6.0 when he said, “I think the important thing is that you answer that question yourself.” Both Hen and Bobby want Buck to go on this journey all by himself because they believe it is pertinent that he discovers who he is, outside of the job, the firefam, outside of being a brother, an uncle, a best friend, etc. No one can tell Buck how to be happy. That is something he needs to figure out himself. And he’s really struggling with that because i believe Buck has never truly been happy, which is why it’s making this that much more difficult for him. How does he become something he’s never known?

As Hen leaves and Buck realizes she’s not going to help him get answers, you can see the start of tears forming in his eyes. The way he bites his tongue is him stopping himself from breaking down then and there. His eyes are glassy and he doesn’t want to cry at his place of work. He is so fucking desperate to get the answers he has been seeking all his life for. He wants to be happy, he wants to be at ease. He just doesn't know how to get there and he doesn't want to spend his entire life searching for ways to get there, to finally be happy and at ease.

(Gif by @whosoldherout)

This kickstarts his self discovery journey in which we will see how Buck tries to do things that he himself enjoys and learns new things about who he is as a person, outside of his firefighting persona. And as I mentioned before, I do think out of everyone, Eddie will be the one by his side, helping him on this journey. Buck has a long road ahead of him, but I think this road will quickly open Buck’s eyes to opportunities he never considered before and make him see the person who he feels the happiest with, the person who makes him feel the most at ease, is the person who's been by his side through it all.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #911 speculation #hen wilson #chimney han #911 meta #buddie meta #buddie language meta #jujus having thoughts #911 on fox #long post

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