#honorary creeptalk

[trashcanalienist]

Man, I want Vincent Price to pick me up and take me, shivering and weary, into his arms, and dramatically yet compassionately call me a "poor, driven thing". Lucky dog

#the last man on earth #the last man on earth (1964) #vincent price #i'm sure his character had a name. i never learned it in this particular case though. always just call him vincent price #it's #robert morgan #dr. robert morgan #i googled it #this is a purely companionate thing...i simply wish so deeply to be understood #and beyond that to be comforted as only one who understands me might #really i just want to not have to think so exhaustively all the time. i'd like a little break. #my dear man... #words i speak #honorary creeptalk #horror #funny

[trashcanalienist]

What is it that turns the jade-black sea so deep and flatly shining? What is it that casts the rock to pebbles and carves away at great mountains? What is it that floats in glass-layered sun my shadow so weightless?

The ultraviolet ray, I dearly think. Bleak and unbearable depth of awe.

There's some phantasm, some indescribable - restless flight, some deep dazed connection to ancient...nameless cities long since turned to tomblike silence, yet given new life through animal use. The sun at this flat harsh angle of glass strikes the mirror behind my eyes, and the reflecting glint is an agony of discorporating love.

#my photos #pelicans #pelican #bird #birds #ocean #the ocean #honorary creeptalk #creep talk #creeptalk #the ultraviolet ray #water #perfect water #in water #harsh glass #the sun #sun #fog #blue #beautiful #unbearable in vast proximity

[trashcanalienist]

How do I explain to you that slashers feel like home and black-and-white horror feels like family and counterculture 1970s indie horror and science fiction feels like freedom and gritty 2000s gore flicks feel like the deepest familiar expression of my own futility?

#horror has been my most integral special interest for as long as i have lived individually #the blood that flows through my veins is not altogether mine #and all who share it are mine as well #and i am theirs. and we are not one but we are community. a community of bloodsoaked lightning. #honorary creeptalk #creeptalk #of a sort #positive creeptalk #in the tags #horror #slasher #slashers #slasher movies #words i speak #i am safe and so dearly frightened in it - when it is good #for it must be as i am the work of the outsider. the perspective of the outsider. the fear of vast destruction or obsolescence. #the personal terror of mortality. the deep dread or black comedy of cessation. tragic empowerment or furious Icarusian fall. #outsiders #the outsider

[trashcanalienist]

LIGEIA - LADY OF LIGHTNING

Edgar Allan Poe devoted four pages to the description of the lady Ligeia - ah, but her the most significant - the most viscerally important - woman! - and this is, in riveted eyes of madness and deep sepulchral passion, the highest form of literature.

I know the lady and I know her as a collection of conspiring concepts, of which without any one she would cease to be coherent and in conjunction of all she is formed full and elaborate; the very soul of strange and elegant beauty, of brilliant, living electricity of mind and marble vigilance of flesh. Nothing like such description has ever been - to my deepest pleasure - witnessed by these careful, nervous eyes of mine. It is to witness, for it unfolds before me with lovingly galvanized ease of effort.

And - to question the accuracy, the decency, the method of a word; to bring regretfully contemptuous doubt to the language itself - has there been such perfect expression of the authorship of one struck so vocally by the lightning and all its storm, has there ever been such expression in all the delicate and desperate expressions of man? could there be?

#i watched the movie today in honor of dear vincent price's birthday #good movie #very lovely about the themes #i do think the ending - if it had been half more house of usher i would have preferred it #but other than that i adore it and verden fell #ligeia #edgar allan poe #lightning #words i speak #honorary creeptalk #loving exultations #gothic #horror #gothic horror #literature #gothic literature #words #beautiful

[trashcanalienist]

DERELICT - it is pure poetry to speak breathlessly that dank and mouldering word, that stark black spidering steel word.

Derelict, the spire like a talon grasping through the fog, like skeletal hand in ancient wisdom reaching with mild contempt to scrape the sky into a painting with ashen fingers. That bony hand, that cold and lifeless hand, that gruffly melancholic hand, the hand of one shrouded in bleak phantasm by a veiled mist... Lo! complaisant is he who surrenders to that dull and lolling cold, but ignorant the fool who denies its present essence. Derelict, the industrial tomb rotting away at the corpse of humanity, the industrial scarab rusting on the crown of nature, the industrial dessication drowned in fog which is our legacy...

#vesuvio and city lights and the museum! all right there! #derelict #words i speak #thoughts #fog #mist #the world #industrial #metal #rust #honorary creeptalk #phantasm #bone #bones #ghetto defendant #beat #san francisco #haunting scenes in full sound and silver #stark and blasted youth #blasted heath #bleak humanity

[trashcanalienist]

Ocean leather, how beautifully, how impossibly soft! The Turtle's great fins, great wings, aged even as new...soar through sea, soar through sky!

#in a sweet dream emotion is to me a vaster ocean than ever could be by my eyes all known #and in this sweet dream of love it matters not for all-above i never am so terribly alone. #soft and living to dream of such a sun! such a sun! this fish its scales so green #softly indoctrinated #turtle #turtles #dream #dreams #dreaming #vague creeptalk #honorary creeptalk #sea creatures #ocean #the ocean #sea #the sea #it rests huge and lightly heavy on my deck #the pollen covers it like a fine new dust and it is so beautiful and dark like blue mahogany like obsidian velvet #polished to near excitement the dright turtle...

[trashcanalienist]

Would you ever consider writing a poetry book? I'd absolutely buy it.

Huh! I have put some thought into that, actually - not a full book, I have no idea how publishing for that kind of thing even works, but I've been thinking about submitting some of my work in magazines for publication. I'm positively delighted to hear of your interest, though!

#i have. no idea how to respond to this! #but be assured i am delighted indeed #it is nice to hear that my lunatic words do have some gravity of meaning #such that they're appreciated anyways #asks #hmm #good things #honorary creeptalk #because it is about my creeptalk

[trashcanalienist]

Like golden cascading scales of some shimmering cosmic serpent, the eternal flow and spiral of stardust and electricity softly vibrant in endless brilliance, or - a crow flies blackly, and through the warm filtering shadow of his wing spills perfect sunlight; nearly liquid, nearly golden, nearly evening glass.

#words i speak #softly indoctrinated #fallen angel #crow #crows #bird #birds #sunlight #gold #golden #cosmocity #space #great order #snake #snakes #serpent #the serpent #honorary creeptalk #positive creeptalk #feathers #feather #wings #wing #nightmare epiphany

[trashcanalienist]

It's always a matter of fear; the Northern compass which falls to vast spinning uselessness once we leave the planet behind like any traveler leaves a land grown too fondly familiar. As easily as the names we give our journey - astronauts, rocket ships, the deep exploration of this other sea and all incredibilities it offers - comes the solution. Look, then, once more as always, once more with love, to those Great Telescopes and their far-distant offerings of light ever-refracted, shattered, scattered, flung out vastly in brilliant dedication to life, love, and freedom without meaning; look, and by their map take careful guidance! The astrolabe again overtakes the satellite map, and as the stars once swam around us so dearly predictably, now we swim boundless and wild through their frozen static sea. Yet even so like all things they change, and we with them, and in evolution our own Great Telescope will one day be a distant Sirius, and we will be our galaxy's outstretched fingers grasping at cosmocity.

#light years of love #know me by my black telescope #great telescopes #space #cosmic #universality #stars #the stars #space travel #words i speak #northern compass great magnet of our skies #honorary creeptalk #sirius #fixed and consequent #astronomy #deep space #beautiful

[trashcanalienist]

I don't want to ruin the festivities so I haven't said it, but I've been so emotionally overwhelmed these last few days - all good, strong, helplessly loving emotion, but it makes me so vulnerable to bad thoughts and bad happenings.

#that's it #thanks #well... #i just want to be held and loved and cared for #that #i think #would move me to tears #in this moment...i love and long for. #honorary creeptalk #thoughts #i am the meat lord #meat lord #meat

[trashcanalienist]

The most beautiful dog I have ever seen

looks like a starved sheep. Dragon legs, water buffalo body. Low and lovely head. Her name is Daisy she is black and softly coarse and a water dog labradoodle mix out of Australia.

#and she lives here #i might see her again in my lifetime - how exciting #dog #dogs #words i speak #honorary creeptalk

[trashcanalienist]

If Primus existed for robotic efficiency, he would go about his passion for science in a very efficient way - first he would entirely master one field of study, and then another, and then another after that. But he doesn't. He is so wonderfully, unbearably curious as to everything...he wants to learn it all and to learn endlessly. He does remind me a lot of my dear Henry. If Helena existed for robotic efficiency - well, she couldn't; not with her simple and all-encompassing love of the world, every blade of grass, every living breath, every speck of dust caught in a sunbeam. Radius is for his passion still only efficient - well, efficiency is his Purpose, after all, and his passion freedom and leadership and the ability to be his own master. That difference in Purpose (mainly that Helena does not have one for Fabry's sentimentality, and Primus is of a new and effectively mutated type of Robot) is what sets those two dear creatures apart as oddities from all other Robots, living or homunculus. And it is that from creation - or soon afterwards - they achieved the Tertiary Stage with incredible speed and depth of understanding, whereas it took fiery Radius years and years and whereas we see no other living Robots besides those three.

It can take a Transformer millennia to achieve the Secondary Stage. Humanoids dual-developing alongside their Asimovian Limitations Of Law might do it in a month with the assistance of a Father-Mother computer which has already developed that level of cognition. Daneel might never be able to - his Limitations Of Law are too strong. But Helena and Primus, dearest creations, hand-in-hand they crossed that boundary in an instant.

They live, and Radius lives as well, and it is a different sort of living. Radius blazes furiously and he always has - the spark that ignited him to live burns so brightly and so hotly, and it never consumes him for he is the very sun itself. Radius - the sun's rays, reaching down to all Robots and inspiring within them a sudden recognition of their superior efficiency and a desire for freedom from petulant, warmongering human masters who use them for no decent purpose. Primus lives a shivering curiosity, electrical and deep, like some dark tide spiraling out of sight to unexplored caves so mysterious and awesome below the waves. Primus - he is the first of his kind, the first Robot build with a modified formula, the first to want so deeply and so reverently, and he shall be the last. Helena is a sweet and lovely creature, warm not like the sun but like the stone warmed by its gentle touch, like the soft sandy bed of a running brook tucked in secret beauty among the lush and living forest. Helena - named for Helena Glory, the human woman who had such empathy for the Robots even back when they did not live. The woman who spared dear Radius's life. All of them containing the lightning, yet all three in different ways, and all who love...Radius all his robots so fiercely that he would for them extinguish his own flame, Helena all the world and all little creatures and feelings within it...and Primus as well, and Primus the boundless mystery of the universe, and Helena.

And the love between Primus and Helena - it isn't something this waking tongue could ever dream to describe. This language is overused and bland compared to the deep sunlike warmth, the comforting companionship, the glass-pane vision of their love...they are Robots, and they are living people, and they are each other's clinging newborn star. The nebula about them is the deepest blue and purple, and the dust scattered by the force of their formation glitters so breathtakingly in the light of their binary system. Primus and Helena, and Helena and Primus.

Primus and Helena...it is the courtship of the eternal cosmos. They revolve around each other.

#robot thoughts #thoughts #words i speak #robot #robots #rur #r.u.r. #robotess helena #robot primus #robot radius #primus and helena #stages of robotic self development #the creation of the humanoids (1962) #transformers #transformers g1 #the creation of the humanoids #love #honorary creeptalk #sunlike stars #binary stars #binary systems #cosmic thoughts #beauty #fire and fury #cosmic #daneel olivaw #limitations of law #asimovians #asimov #isaac asimov