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w2soneshots · 1 month

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Labour -W2S

Words: 1.6k+

Warnings: pregnancy, birth.

In which you and Harry finally meet your baby girl.

a/n: I’ve never had a baby so I apologise if this isn’t accurate!! Also this was a request on wattpad. Hope you enjoy🫶🏼🧸

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Liked by wroetoshaw and 1,467,098 others

y/username: not long now🫣🤍 @wrotoshaw @freyanightingale

-comments-

faithloisak: ❤️❤️😭

taliamar: you're so cute

y/nfanpage21: the bump!🥺

user31479682: still can't believe w2s is gonna be a dad

I met Harry in primary school. I always thought he was a little weird but just as high school finished I fell head over heels in love with that weird boy. That was 12 years old. We got married two years ago, it was a small wedding in Guernsey with only our closest friends and family. Just under a year ago we decided we wanted a kid, 4 months later I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant. I waited an entire week to tell Harry just so I could tell him with a little bag containing a mini version of his charity match jersey inside (that I'd had specially made). Then we told the boys, Faith, Freya and Talia at a special dinner that we arranged just so we could tell them all together. They were extremely excited, especially Ethan and Faith because there would now be another set of parents in the group.

We found out we were having a little girl when I was 21 weeks. That was also around the time I felt the baby kick for the first time, me and Harry sat in our bed absolutely freaking out about it. After we knew it was a girl I could finally start buying an unholy amount of baby clothes, teddies and things for the nursery. Me and Faith have become considerably closer, since we now have things to talk about, she's really been a great help when it came to little worries I had or if I just needed someone to rant to about back pain.

I'm currently 38 weeks. The hospital bags are packed and the nursery is completely ready. I am seriously getting bored of being pregnant and would really like to just meet my baby. Harry ran me a warm bath so I could relax. Then I dried myself, put on my current favourite pyjamas and slid into bed next to him. I struggled slightly getting to sleep since I was really uncomfortable. I tossed and turned until I finally drifted off to sleep.

I woke to the feeling of wet between my legs. Confused, I pulled the covers back. My eyes met a large patch of clear ish liquid on the mattress, barely visible in the darkness of the room. My brows furrowed then my face dropped, mouth turning into an O shape. My water just broke. I took a deep breath then turned to gently shake Harry awake, he groaned. "Haz, wake up" I whispered gently. "What- what's up?!" He said the last part with a little bit of urgency after properly waking. "I think my water just broke." I stated calmly. His eyes widened "what!" He jumped off the bed.

"Calm down. It's fine the midwife said we have time, remember?" His face calmed slightly then he took in a shaky breath "are you ok?" He asked, coming over to my side of the bed. "I'm fine." I replied. He helped me off the soaked bed and to my feet. "This is really happening, we're really going this." He said with slight excitement in his eyes. "Yes we are. Now can you grab the hospital bag while I change?" He quickly nodded then ran towards the nursery where the bag resides.

I got changed into a comfy sweat set, brushed my hair and tied it back into a bun. When I emerged from the bedroom Harry was stood by the door rapidly texting on his phone. "Ready to go?" I asked. He looked up "yea," he nodded "I was just texting the boys." I giggled "Harry it's 5am!" I said with a light shake of my head. "I needed to tell someone!" He exclaimed. "We're any of them even awake?" I asked as he unlocked the front door. "Uh- no but they'll see it in a bit." I laughed.

Once we got in the car I text my mum telling her what was going on, then Harry speedily started the car. We were at the hospital just 15 minutes later. Harry helped me inside and we were quickly taken to a private room. "What time did your water break?" The nurse asked. "Around half four." I answered. "Ok... and have you had any contractions?" She questioned while scribbling on her clipboard. "Uh no, not yet." She looked up "alright then, I'll get my colleague to come and attach you to some machines so we can monitor you and baby." She said with a kind smile. I thanked her and she left the room.

Another nurse came in soon after and wrapped my stomach with some monitors, she did some other general checks on me. Once she left Harry came to sit next to me and held my hand. I smiled at him but my smile was quickly replaced with a look of discomfort as I felt a small but painful cramp wrap around the bottom of my stomach. "Woah, was that a contradiction?" Harry questioned a few seconds later, once it had subsided. I nodded "ye I think so." I replied. "Should I go get the nurse?" He asked. "No I'm fine." I answered. He nodded and kept his hand firmly in mine.

y/username just posted a new story!

Once it hit 8am I was having regular contractions that were lasting around 30 seconds each and were 7 minutes apart. The midwife came in and checked how dilated I was, 4 centimetres. Me and Harry sat on a FaceTime call with his mum, dad and Rosie, just a few minutes after we called my family. Then I got a call from Faith. "Hey! How's it going. How are you?!" She asked excitedly. "Hey, I'm okay." I said with a light smile. She returned the smile "I literally couldn't believe it when Ethan told me you were in labour this morning." She stated. Before I could say anything else I felt another contraction building. I quickly said goodbye and placed my phone next to me. I took a deep breath and squeezed Harry's hand. "You're doing so good, breathe." He said quietly. As the pain subsided I let out a heavy sigh. Harry squeezed my hand lightly "You're incredible." I looked to him and smiled "You're so cute."

After an excruciating amount of time I was finally at 9 centimetres. I stood with my arms wrapped around Harry's neck, swaying slightly and breathing heavily. "Not long now. You've got this. I love you. You're doing so good." Harry whispered in to my ears as I clung to him. He kept his hands firmly on my waist, helping me to stay up. "Ok y/n, It looks like you're ready to push!" My midwife said and I looked up to Harry with fear in my eyes. He helped me back onto the bed and cupped my face in his hands gently "you're gonna be fine, I'm here." He said with a comforting voice. To be honest I thought Harry was going to be an absolute mess when it came to me giving birth but I was pleasantly surprised on how strong he's been, for me.

I lay back on the bed, held up by a few pillows and Harry was quick to grab my hand, once again. With my legs propped up, my midwife sat on a chair in front of me. "On the next contraction push as hard as you can." she said through my legs. I nodded nervously and it wasn't long until I felt that now all familiar pain run from my stomach all the way round to my lower back. I squeezed Harry's hand so tight I thought I might break it as I pushed with all I had.

After almost 30 minutes of what felt like constant pushing I finally heard the loud cries of my baby. Tears immediately poured down my face and the last few hours completely left my brain. I looked over to Harry once they passed me my baby. I have only ever seen Harry cry once during the entire time I've known him, but there was tears falling down his face as he stared sweetly at me. "You did incredible. She's perfect. I love you so much." He choked out. I brought him towards me by fisting his shirt in my hand and pulling him so our lips connected.

Once Harry cut the babies umbilical cord, both me and baby were checked over and cleaned up and we informed our families and friends that we were both ok and that the baby was healthy, we sat admiring the sweet little baby peacefully sleeping in the plastic cot. "We need to name her." Harry said quietly. "Got any ideas?" I asked, realising I hadn't actually thought about the fact she'd need a name. "Uhm, I like the name Nova." He said. My eyes lit up slightly and I nodded "she looks like a Nova." More tears dropped from my eyes. Harry shuffled towards me "what's wrong? are you okay?" He asked softly. I laughed lightly "I'm fine. I just- love her so much." Harry giggled then pulled me into a warm hug "I love you." He said with a breathy laugh. I smiled into his chest "I love you too."

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Liked by wroetoshaw and 4,023,611 others

y/username: my baby girl Nova Lewis🤍

-comments-

behzingagram: omg wow wow wow congratulations❤️❤️❤️❤️

ksi: congratulations🥳

faithloisak: OMG😭😭😭😭

y/nfanpage21: I can't cope🥹

user29473674: w2s is officially a dad woah

#fanfic #image #oneshot #sidemen #w2s #harry lewis #harry w2s #w2s imagine #w2s x reader #w2s fic #wrotoshaw #wroetoshaw #wroetoshaw oneshot #wroetoshaw x reader #harry lewis x reader #labour #instagram

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pedropascalsx · 8 months

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Dabble request: F reader with Dieter Bravo. He finally wins a major award and the reader decides to award him with smutty sex

THE AWARD.

I slightly changed it and had them enter a bet… I hope that’s okay and I hope you like it. Also you sent this in April and I missed it, i’m so sorry it took so long.

Summary: you jokingly bet that you’ll fuck your best friend dieter bravo if he wins an oscar.

Warnings: Smut. P in V. Oral. (M&F receiving). Betting. Strong language. Dieter Bravo being… Dieter Bravo.

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F! Reader.

Word Count: 2053

A/N: I tried LOL. Thank you to @littlebirdsbookshelf for reading an unfinished version of this fic and encouraging me to finish it. I didn’t edit it and I’m too scared to read it back… so I don’t know how many mistakes are in it 😭😂 ENJOY!!

You groan as your phone wakes you up from the most comfortable sleep you’ve had in weeks, before reluctantly kicking off your covers and stepping out of bed.

The photo of Dieter Bravo's smug face flashing up on your phone screen makes you roll your eyes and curse his name before you swipe to answer. “It’s 5AM Diet, if someone isn’t dead, you’re able to be,” you growl into the phone.

“Shut up,” he says with an obnoxious chuckle, “I’m cashing in on our bet, pretty girl.”

“What?” You say before stuttering, “No. Not today, I’m not playing any of your annoying games this early.. . I’m hanging up and I'm going back to sleep, asshat.” You say, with a wide smile spreading across your face from the sound of his chuckling.

“I can hear you smiling.” He remarks and you roll your eyes again at how easily he can read you.

“What do you want, Dieter? I’m tired.”

“I already told you, I’m cashing in on our bet. March 21st 2015. You said you’d fuck me when I win an Academy Award.” Dieter recalls, his voice dripping with its usual arrogance.

“Buying a fake one from Etsy doesn’t count,” you sigh, imagining he’s just dragged himself back to his hotel from some club, “Dieter, if you haven’t already, go to bed, get so—.”

“I’m nominated,” he interrupts, ignoring the irritation in your voice, “My agent called me fifteen minutes ago. For Hunger Strike - Best Leading Actor.”

“Dieter, you better not be fucking with me.” You squeal with excitement, almost jumping up and down on the spot.

“Not yet, I’m not, pretty girl.”

“When are you home?” You ask, suddenly forgetting how tired you are.

“Eager are we?” He says, his eyebrows raising and the first real smile forming across his face in weeks despite his nomination.

“Shut up, asshat, you’ve got to fucking win the thing first… and if I recall correctly, which I do, I think I said I’d consider fucking you if you ever win one and I only said it so you’d take that damn role.”

“Mhmm. Nope. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word ‘consider’ fall from those gorgeous lips before now,” he teases. “But jokes aside… Tell me you’ll come with me, I hate those fucking things, they’re only fun if you’re swooning over how handsome I am in a suit sitting next to me.”

“Shut up, asshat.”

“Come with me, pretty girl, put those shiny statues to shame, show them how you shine brighter.” He says, unaware of just how fucking cheesy he ends up sounding.

“Only if you buy me a burger after.” You say, glad he isn’t there to see the way you’re unable to stop yourself from smiling.

“Deal.”

You haven’t left his side for the past few days, he had asked you quietly to stay with him while he went through the required amount of press and you had made sure that your hand was close enough for him to squeeze when he needed it.

And today was no different, the confident Dieter Bravo the whole world thinks that they know, nowhere to be seen and instead the sweet Dieter that a few people have the pleasure of knowing sits beside you, looking at the dress bag containing the tuxedo he’ll be adorning in just a few hours time.

“You okay?” You ask, quietly bumping your shoulder against his.

“Ask me again when this is all over,” he says, before taking a generous sip of his drink. “I fucking hate red carpets.”

You take his hand and squeeze it a few times, before resting your head on those broad shoulders that you love so much.

“Whatever happens tonight, I’m really fucking proud of you.” You murmur into his skin, “Always have been, you’re the best friend i’ve ever had.”

He shushes you before pressing a kiss to the top of your head, grateful that you’re with him. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

“Let’s do this.” You say, with a little scrunch of your nose.

“And the Academy Award goes to… Dieter Bravo.” The gorgeous actress announces and you swear you can hear his heart beating.

He stands slowly, fiddling with the front of his jacket before turning to face you, immediately smashing his lips to yours in a fleeting kiss that steals your breath before shaking the hand of his director and making his way to the stage.

His speech is short but insightful. He makes sure to make eye contact with you as he thanks you for encouraging him to take the role and then shuffles off the stage as quickly as he can.

“Will you be mad if I suggest we skip the after party?” He asks after they finish engraving his oscar, the award ceremony now over and more hands shook than he could possibly be bothered to count.

“Not at all,” you say, resting your head against his shoulder, and inspecting his shiny new award.

“Room service burgers and a shitty movie to fall asleep in front of?” He suggests, before wrapping his hand around your waist.

“Sounds like heaven.”

“It’s really fucking pretty,” you say, your hands wrapped around the statue.

“Yeah,” he says, from somewhere behind you. Unable to stop his eyes from scanning up and down your body, and unable to ignore the way his heart leaps everytime he looks at you. “Second prettiest thing in this room.”

“I’d call you a charmer, but I'm pretty certain you’re about to announce that you’re in first place,” you say, turning around to face him with a giggle and a signature scrunch of your nose.

“No. It’s you.” He says, “In every room. It’s you.”

“Charmer.”

You both stand in comfortable silence for a few moments, just staring at each other before you take a step towards him. “Academy award winner, Dieter Bravo.”

“The one and only,” he scoffs, with a roll of his eyes. “You look really fucking beautiful by the way.”

“Shut up, asshat.” You mumble, now standing toe to toe. Unable to stop thinking about the bet that you had made a few years earlier, one that neither of you had mentioned since the day he was nominated.

He’s been your best friend for years. You met on the set of his very first movie, while working as a makeup artist and immediately struck up a friendship. And while there has always been an obvious attraction between you both, the fear that making a move and acting on it could potentially ruin your friendship had kept those feelings at bay.

But standing here and seeing the way that he’s looking at you, you can’t hold back, so you don’t. You surge forward and capture his lips, kissing him with the same intensity he had kissed you with earlier this evening, but this time it didn’t have to be fleeting. His mouth swallows your moans and his hands start to roam your body, squeezing and grabbing anywhere they could as he kisses you back.

He carefully pulls down the zipper on the back of your dress, dragging it slowly and savouring every second of this moment, a moment he’s been dreaming of since first laying eyes on you.

“Dieter,” you murmur softly against his jaw, wanting him to increase his painfully slow pace of undressing you. “Please.”

He increases his pace, frantically pulling on the material and letting it pool at your feet, before helping you step out of it and guiding you backwards towards the bedroom. His hands still greedily grabbing at any and every part of you as he lays you down.

He wastes exactly no time, pulling your panties off in one clear sweep and diving his head in between your legs. The noises he makes are loud and desperate as he laps at your clit with a messy intensity. Alternating between licking and sucking your little bud, only satisfied when you’re screaming his name and tugging at his signature messy locks before soaking his face with your arousal.

You whimper his name as he continues to lap at your clit, before gently pushing him away as it gets too much. Giggling slightly at the sight of his soaked face.

“Are you planning on getting undressed?” You ask as he moves up your body.

“Not this round,” he growls, before capturing your lips again. His movements are sloppy as he fumbles with his belt, pulling it through the loops and throwing it across the room, before pulling his pants down enough to expose his cock. You push him back slightly, and lay down in front of him on your tummy, a moan slipping out as you take a good look at his cock. Thick, long and throbbing. The tip flushed red with a bead of pre-cum, you lean forward, push up the bottom of his shirt and pepper light kisses on the swell of his tummy, nipping a few times before taking him in your mouth.

He groans your name as you hollow your cheeks, your jaw immediately aching from the sheer width of him and slowly you start to bob your head. Gagging slightly as he rocks his hips and pushes past your tonsils. The snap of his hips meet the rhythm of your enthusiastic mouth. After a few minutes he groans impatiently at not being able to touch you, before pulling out your mouth leaning over you and slapping your ass and then spreading your cheeks and tasting you this way.

You take him in your hand, stroking and flicking your wrist in perfect strokes, moaning his name in a perfect little chant as he uses his nose to tease your clit. You cum with a yelp of his name, taking you both by surprise as he soothes you through the aftershocks with gentle coos and little flicks of his tongue against your pretty little clit.

“On your back, pretty girl,” he orders, giving himself a few rough strokes as he watches you. “You ready for me, baby?” He says with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“I'm ready,” you confirm with a giggle, yelping with excitement as he pushes into you. Praising your ‘perfect little pussy’ as he fills you to the hilt. His arms swoop beneath your knees, so he can fuck into your deeper. “Move, D,” you beg as he waits, wanting you to adjust to the size of him.

The second you give him permission, he’s rolling his hips back, watching your face intently before snapping them forward. Loving the sound of your pretty moans as he thrusts back into you. He bends over and presses his lips against your face, thrusting himself in and out of you. Finding that spot and dragging his cock against it with ease, loving how reactive and tight your pussy gets around him.

“Oh Dieter,” you whimper, almost delirious with pleasure.

“I know, fuck, I know, baby girl,” he murmurs, “Taking my fat cock so well, baby.” You love how vocal he is, the sound of both of your moans filling the room. “You know how many times I’ve dreamed of this?” He whispers into your ear. “Every fucking day, since I met you.”

“Me too,” you stutter, seconds before your pussy clamps down around him and everything goes black. White hot pleasure erupting behind your eyes and his name becoming the only word you can speak.

It's a pleasure like you’ve never experienced, you feel him everywhere and you still want more and more. He keeps his pace as steady for as long as he can but his hips begin to falter, his pace more stilted as his cock begins to throb and he pulls out.

Stroking his cock hard and fast as he pants your cunt with thick pearly ropes of his cum.

“Holy shit.” You say with a giggle, “Even better than I imagined, D.”

“Me too,” he says as he collapses on top of you, leaning his weight onto his elbows. Kissing you gently, before nuzzling his face into your neck.

“So how was your night?” You ask with a giggle. “End as good as it started.”

“A million times better.” He says quietly.

You giggle loudly, “Better than winning the most coveted award in acting?”

“Not even a competition. You would win every time.”

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo #dieter bravo smut #the bubble #the bubble fanfiction #dieter bravo fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x f!reader #dieter bravo x oc #my fanfiction #my fanfic #asks

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mlobsters · 8 months

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supernatural s8e14 trial and error (w. andrew dabb)

is this when the trials happen? i haven't read much stuff with specifics around those. nonsense but 5am and it's that bright out and it's january?? where??? lol (not on a boat in missouri)

the sentimental music while dean is setting up his room again reminds me of princess bride. think i've made that comment before (yes: speaking of manufactured conflict, this thing with garth and dean over bobby. dean snapping at him, garth getting upset. mushy music that reminds me of the princess bride)

s8e14 dean and mushy music / the princess bride once upon a time...storybook love c. mark knopfler

strings with that plucked acoustic guitar apparently is the princess bride sound to me

and oh have i heard about the memory foam mattress lol

that they stopped a pretty blurry shaky pan across the room to focus on the bed is making me laugh way too hard

sweet moment, letting us see sam is happy with dean settling in

.... okay.

LOL he picked him up like a toddler, that was adorable

SAM So, what – God wants us to take the SATs? KEVIN I-I guess. Uh, he works in mysterious ways. DEAN Yeah, mysterious, douche-y ways. All right. Where do we start?

SAM I know. I do. But trust me on this – this whole "saving the world" thing – it's a marathon, not a sprint. You got to take better care of yourself.

really nice (dad) moment there with sam and kevin

meanwhile dean swooping in to be the irresponsible drug supplying dad and give him groceries

ma'am

you sent dean on a face journey

CINDY Really? Keep it coming, Ken doll.

oh now sam gets called ken doll, dean was too back at biggerson's s7e9 from the reaver side effect of the turducken leviathan ooze

SAM Right. [SAM leans into DEAN's phone.] Hey, Kevin, uh, you did great, man. Get some sleep.

dad sam with the positive reinforcement, love to see it

DEAN Crowley. Poncy guy, about yea big, mountain of dicks.

SAM Uh, they're on lockdown, and you need backup. DEAN No, I don't. SAM Yes, you do. DEAN No, I need you to be safe, Sam, okay? That's what I need. SAM What? What am I – when are WE ever safe? DEAN This is different. SAM How? DEAN Because of the three trials crap – God's little obstacle course. We've been down roads like this before, man – with Yellow-Eyes, Lucifer, Dick friggin' Roman. We both know where this ends – one of us dies... Or worse. SAM So, what – you just up and decided it's gonna be you? DEAN I'm a grunt, Sam. You're not. You've always been the brains of this operation. SAM Dean— DEAN And you told me yourself that you see a way out. You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know – it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me – that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life – become a man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and – and – and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra – that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get. So I'm gonna do these trials. I'm gonna do them alone – end of story. You're staying here. I'm going out there. If landshark comes knocking, you call me. If you try to follow me, I'm gonna put a bullet in your damn leg.

intermission for me to sob for a while. i hate when he's like this. i hate how little he values himself at times because it slams into suicidal so fast. and of course because they're settling into a home, they're both happy, the show had to do it. and then how they ended the series.. maybe someday i'll come to be okay with dean dying at 42, but today isn't that day. i need to just finish watching this

glad we get to see the hellhounds finally and that they went a route that we can't see much and worked to the strengths of the cgi

DEAN Sam, I didn't pass the test. SAM But I did... And I'm doing the rest of them. DEAN My ass you are! SAM I'm closing the gates. It's a suicide mission for you. DEAN Sam... SAM I want to slam hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't – I am. But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it. DEAN Sam, be smart. SAM I AM smart, and so are you. You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius – when it comes to lore, to – you're the best damn hunter I have ever seen – better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. So, please – please believe in me, too.

that's what dean and i needed to hear too. thank you, sam. and thank you dean for not fighting him on it.

i know how this plotline wraps up, more or less, but none of the details. thinking about my fuckup vs righteous man feelings, how sam is regularly put in that role of having to apologize for messing up. but has made these two big sacrifices. the pit for ruby, the trials for amelia. but i've also been in my sam feelings more lately so my read on anything might be skewed. gotta take turns getting tortured by some deity/deity-adjacent-thing

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 8x14 #andrew dabb #fuckup vs righteous man #the princess bride #spn tpb music #spn bunker #spn musical score

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rooklinensinker · 1 year

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I'm on Concerta 27 mg and just got off my monthly appointment with the psychiatrist

Kinda embarrassing to talk about but I'll do it because you can't tell my mom 🤪

So she called me at 9:30 and of course I was asleep on top of my phone so thankfully I was able to answer. I completely forgot when the appointment was but I felt the dread that it should've happened by now so I'm glad there's no guessing anymore! Anyways, I update her on my new symptoms.

I've been MORE forgetful. To the point I even forgot where I placed a knife while cooking and freaked out because I didn't know where it was and didn't want to risk hurting myself by accidentally sitting on it or something when it was just at the corner of the table in the other room (don't ask how it got there, I don't know either). And it's happened with a lot of small things too.

I've been tired and only showered yesterday because I had been putting it off for the last week because before showering I should clean my room. And to clean my room was a tough ask. And I LIKE CLEANING. It's therapeutic and I love the smell of cleaning products but I just wasn't doing anything. I was in bed on my phone and even if I threw it away (again, very carefully. I think I mentioned that before) I would stay in bed for the same time as I would have spent on the app, just biting my nails. For 4 hours 😀✨

I had a hard time cancelling my hello fresh subscription because when I had it, I'd get too stressed to cook which means every perishable would go off but I still have a lot of their frozen stuff just packing my freezer because I haven't cooked in a while before this week. And this week was just the culmination of previous weeks I dreaded over tasks. I finally cancelled my subscription after they charged me for this week so 👍

I haven't worked. I have a deadline due on Friday and I am allowed extensions but I didn't even send the extension form yet. The most I've done this month is take care of myself which everyone is supposed to do while balancing work. EVERYDAY. I for some reason can't do both or sometimes either.

Odd one but I've been breathing manually more often. Not like faintness of breath where you don't feel like you're taking in enough oxygen. More like, sudden awareness that my breathing is wrong for some reason and I gotta fix it. And I count it so it's one second to even out my breaths but it still feels wrong so I'll stay upset for like 5 minutes out of nowhere until I forget I'm breathing again.

I remember she asked me about the future, but it's not like it's used to be. It's not like I don't think about it or that it isn't even a concept in my head anymore because I can die at any moment. I have plans for the future. Very important ones. It's the present that isn't lining up for me to get there. And starting the meds I was at the peak of my mental health. No suicidality, hope for the future, confidence in the present. And that still stands although I still get tired and overwhelmed.

And I don't really know what to do? She said I wasn't very proactive because meds aren't supposed to be the only solution, there's lifestyle changes and stuff I gotta learn to deal with my symptoms. But I have?

Meds were the last resort for me. If you were to compare me from a year ago to now, I have multiple places where I can track my routines, how much I eat, etc. It's just that I can't help sometimes my energy is low or time runs faster when I'm doing one thing. Like how cooking took me hours and I only went to bed at 5am because I had to shower because I hated the smell of fried stuff on me.

I really don't know how to feel. The first meds we tried were good at giving me energy and calmed down my head enough for me to be alert in the moment without dissociating. I could do my laundry and all these things that took weeks in one morning. But all I couldn't do was work because I'd get bored and frustrated that it wasn't happening and my fingers weren't doing the clackity clack on the keyboard and the letters were dancing. That's why I changed to Concerta which to be honest, doesn't feel any different than being unmedicated (Spoiler alert, I forgot if I took my meds some days this week. I didn't notice differences.) and the benefit I guess is that it gives me a reason to get up and eat in the morning🙂 which I can put off because I have no energy so I never take them at the same time because whenever I wake up constantly varies.

So I'm not as consistent as I used to be in the beginning, either because the excitement of "changing my life" wore out into "do I have to do all this shit every day? For 24 hours for the rest of my life? Bruh" or because I just got tired of trying and although I don't feel depressed, I just feel tired of even thinking about things anymore. And it doesn't help that I'm behind on university work and every plan in my future depends on the now and right now all I'm doing is just... Nothing much?

She advised me to get in touch with my counsellors (which I haven't seen in months) and resources she sent because she thinks they could help. I'll let you know how they work out. Other than that we decided to increase the dose because she wanted to see how it would work and I thought there's no downsides because if treatment is already taking this long might as well speed it up already.

Anyways I guess I'll have you be updated in case I don't die. And in case I do die... Skill issue I guess 👍

#adhd #adhd medication #adhd meds #adult adhd #living with adhd #adhd brain

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nei-ning · 2 years

Text

I went to bed at 10:30pm - 11:00pm and woke up after about 4 hours nap. I slept so well! I stayed awake to 5am, going back to sleep, leaving my phone play some underwater music which is meant to help release anxiety, sleep better etc. Very lovely music in my taste!

Now I slept 1,5 hours. During this time I dreamed. In the dream I was in old looking Finnish house, maybe from 1970 or so. I was looking outside through window since I couldn't sleep. My, adult, little brother just didn't let me sleep. I had to share a room with him. Whenever I JUST had fallen asleep, he came to poke me once very painfully.

I saw mom and sis coming home, mom having new (still used) red Volvo. Maybe from 1980's or 1990's. I stared at them angrily, not being pleased they had go and change mom's current car, which is in my name, to this without asking or informing me. Sis told me mom needed newer and better car (and still they changed it to older).

I didn't care so I just laid on my face on the bed, ignoring them. Sis kept asking why I didn't answer, didn't I hear her, had I fall asleep etc. My brother, who now was in another room with mom, door being open between these rooms, started to mock me. I don't remember anymore all those things he said, but they made me angry so I started to yell back at him. I told him if he's such a dick, he should get fucked. I laid down on the bed, he still mocking me to mom while sis near me said something so I snapped back at her angrily: "He won't let me sleep! When I just, JUST, have fallen asleep he comes to poke me, awakening me!"

I pulled blanket over me, curling under it. I kept talking about him to my sister some, so hard trying not to cry, but there came sniffs, then louder sobs and then full - out loud - painful cry. That kind of cry when you've lost someone dear to you in real life. I cried like that over a year ago when I suddenly lost my girl cat after 14 years.

My sister then said something to my brother who, with amused voice while smirking, said: "If you really are like that, then you really deserve a guy who punches you in the face."

I heard my mom gasp, maybe even call my brother by his name, but at the same time I was literally pouring all the pain, hurt, exhaustion, lack of sleep out.

Then I ended up observing, with sis, Molang bunny with his friends. I'm not sure was it a cartoon or were they really there living in their own small but old looking mansion. Anyway, there was Molang with his friends. Around 10 of them in total. They went from another room (view from above them) in a fireplace room which had middle sized round table with clean plates, forks, glasses abd big beautiful bouquette. There was specific shaped empty spot on the table.

One bunny placed huge shiny yellow ribbon on it's shape spot, another got huge golden egg on it's spot and then 3 or 4 rushed behind old couch to dig out golden gift box under it to put on the egg. In other words, they were putting together a present! My sister stood by my side watching them and I either faintly heard her or sensed her thoughts for me: "This is a gift for you (from them)."

Then, all of the sudden, I woke up on me crying. And no, it wasn't my typical "crying", just having one tear at the corners of my eyes. I had streams of tears on my cheeks, my nose was running and I was sobbing fast out loud while being curled under my blanket, hugging my pillow - just like in my dream. I even worried Verti, my boy cat, who slept next to my head on another mattress. He instantly made asking meow sound, making sure am I okay.

So that music what I mentioned, in some level, really helped me release some 20+ years old shit. I also need to mention that my brother and I are now between our 30 to 40 and we have NEVER fight, argue, bicker each other, not being jealous to each other etc. Nothing what people consider as "normal sibling behavior". To us all that has never been normal! It's unnatural, stupid and horrible to us. We always have got along so well!

It's weird that in the dream my brother represented all those negative things but maybe it was the "safest" way because, in real life, I know my brother isn't like that at all. If it would had been my father, well, then I would had known it in real life that that's how he truly is.

But then we get to those Molang bunnies. They were making me a gift, all golden / yellow. And it was the last part in the dream in beautiful old mansion (I love old mansions!). So I take it as: After I have go through all the shit from the past, release it / let go, I will be rewarded with something wonderful and surprising! I'm actually quite eager and excited about that already, ahah! :D

#Text #Dream #Neis dream #Emotional abuse #Past trauma #Anxiety #Molang #Bunny #Bunnies #Golden ribbon #Golden egg #Golden gift box #Healing #Mansion #Old mansion

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casspurrjoybell-26 · 6 months

Text

Made of Steele - Chapter 7

*Warning: Adult Content*

When I opened my eyes, I had to do a double look around the room until I realized where I was and who was beside me.

I was laying on top of Kit's bed, half dressed and with Kit beside me, cuddling his pillow to his body while he faced me, still fast asleep.

How the fuck did I end up in his bed?

Most importantly, what time was it?

My dad, Evan and Allie were supposed to be coming back today and I knew that if I wasn't home, they'd only get worried.

I reached for my trousers that were beside the bed and dug out my phone, I turned it on and cringed once I saw just how many missed calls and texts I had got.

Hannah had tried to ring me, multiple times and once I clicked on the text messages she sent, I am glad I missed them.

Hannah: 'Can we talk?'

Hannah: 'I love you, Jamie, please talk to me.'

Hannah: 'I'm outside your house, can you open the gate and please talk to me?'

Hannah: 'Are you home?'

Hannah: 'Jamie.'

Fuck... Why was she acting like this now?

I close her text messages and rub my forehead, feeling a small headache coming on.

I clicked on my dad's text, that was sent an hour ago and as soon as I see it, I roll my eyes and sigh.

ᴅᴀᴅ: We'll be home in 2 hours.

It was currently 5AM, so two hours... Fuck.

I double check he time on my phone again and groan out once I realize I'll be cutting it tight getting back, before they notice I didn't stay the night, which would only open a bag of questions on their end.

I jumped into my trousers and looked back at Kit on the bed, noticing that he was waking up and opening his eyes, smiling at me once he sees me.

"Morning," he sleepily says, sitting up on the bed.

"Uh, morning," I stuttered, hating that I did it. "Sorry for waking you up."

Kit had slept the same as me, with only underwear on and our socks and once I noticed his morning erection, so did he as he laughed out, scratching his head as he moves to get up from the bed.

"You're leaving?" he asked, putting on his own trousers.

I grabbed my t-shirt and put it over my head, feeling the same sexual tension as I did last night when I kissed him in his Livingroom.

Fuck, last night... I kissed him and we...

"Yeah... my dad's coming home so I should go before..." I stop myself from saying too much. "Thanks for uh last night... the food and uh..."

I felt awkward talking about last night, Kit was acting like normal, whatever that was, he was calm while I felt like I was having my first sexual experience with a single person.

In a way, this was a first for me and whilst we didn't go all the way... I had never done what we did last night, not with a guy before, not until him.

Kit came up to me and surprised me by kissing me gently on the lips, before smiling lazily at me as his hand slowly goes down my arm to my hand.

"I had a lot of fun Jamie, maybe we can do this again?" he said, asking, before cringing when he noticed my brows furrow. "Hang out I mean... uh, we don't have to do anything."

He wanted to do this again?

I don't know why but my stomach tightened and I felt breathless, it made me feel sick, yet I didn't feel like throwing up, it was a strange feeling I wasn't even close to being used to.

Being with Kit made me feel good, yet guilty at the same time and I hated that I had no reason to feel guilty but when I thought of Hannah... and my dad...

"Sure."

I hated this feeling.

Kit smiled again and let go of my hand and I bent down to pick up my hoodie, then I followed him out of is dark lit room and into the hallway of his apartment, where my shoes were.

Once I had all my things and my shoes on, I stood by the front door of his apartment and turned around to look at Kit, standing there watching me.

"See you later, Jamie."

I nodded my head and slowly turned around and opened the door, taking one last look at Kit before I close the door behind me, Kit's eyes on me until I couldn't see him anymore.

══════════════════

I made it just in time, my dad, Evan and Allie arriving only just ten minutes after me.

I had a quick shower and changed my clothes and whilst I had to leave for school in thirty minutes, Evan had wanted to show me all the things they saw before I left.

"Next time we should all go there together, Jamie, we found the best little lake near the cabin," Evan said, sitting beside me, before showing me a picture on his phone.

The pictures looked great and whilst I wasn't particularly interested in my dad's cabin, I was happy that they all had fun, after knowing how hectic Evan's schedule was and how badly they wanted to get away from it all.

"Wow," I smiled, seeing how happy he was, especially when my dad walked back into the room.

"Allie's asleep, finally," he huffed out, before coming sitting in a loveseat opposite me and Evan on the sofa.

"Shouldn't you be getting to school?" my dad asked, staring me down. "Do you want a lift?"

I shook my head, handed Evan's phone back and got up from the sofa.

"No, I was just about to leave."

"OH," Evan quickly got up from the sofa and went into a bag beside the sofa and got a box that had a bow wrapped around it.

"You mentioned you liked toffee, there was this awesome British toffee collection in one of the few shops near the cabin, I thought Hannah might like some too, so I got extra."

Ah... now I see, as while I didn't exactly tell anyone yet, I thought they already knew because Hannah had a way of making everything everyone's business, especially if it involved us.

"Um," I bit the inside of my cheek, handing back the box to Evan, making him frown as he looked at me. "We actually broke up," I rubbed my neck, noticing my dad's brows raise from the corner of my eye. "I ended things."

"What?" Evan frowns. "That's... fuck... I'm sorry Jamie."

I shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it right now, especially with my dad in the room, who has not said a word yet.

"That's probably why she rang me last night, good thing I didn't answer," Evan mumbled to himself as I sigh out.

He looked at me and smiles.

"Don't worry about it, Jamie, just know if you ever want to talk about it or want to get drunk and forget all about her, I'll be there. So will your dad's wine collection," he added, cheekily.

"Evan," my dad stares at Evan, who just shrugs and smirks, sitting back on the sofa.

"He's an adult, lighten up Don," he sticks his tongue out at my dad, who just huffs.

"You're going to be late," Dad adds, as I look at the time on my phone and hiss out when I see that he is right.

"Thanks Evan," I smile at him, before nodding at my dad before I leave the room, the sound of my dad scolding Evan the moment I am within hearing distance, making a small smile reach my lips.

As much as I tried to have a good relationship with my dad, it came easier with Evan, something I did not expect but he is so spirited and easy to talk to and because of him I now felt closer to my dad, despite us not having much to say.

I wanted what they had.

At first, I thought it would come, when I was with Hannah but when we were along, we never joked, we never teased or laughed like my dad did with Evan.

I was sometimes jealous that it came so easy to them, that despite both being years apart, they still connected as if they were one person.

That was love, at-least to me.

Was I even capable of being like that with someone?

And if I was, could Kit be that person?

It was still too soon to tell but one thing for sure was, whenever I was with him... I laughed and genuinely have a fun time with him.

Everything was so complicated, even now more than ever.

It was Friday, and I'll be seeing Kit again in just a short while and while back to what happened between us last night, I was not nervous, nor did I regret it a single bit, if anything...

I was excited to see him, to feel that same emotion I felt when I kissed him.

Kit liked me, he wanted to spend time with me and even though he's a guy, I liked that when I was around him, I didn't have to pretend, I didn't have to be Jamie Steele, son of a billionaire, I was free.

I was starting to like being around Kit and I liked Kit as a person but could I see myself being with him?

That was still a question I had no answers for.

Well, however today plays out, I was going to see him again and whilst I knew Hannah would be waiting to ambush me, I now knew what I wanted and what I did not want.

I wanted to be happy, and I didn't want to be with Hannah anymore.

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boytumms · 2 years

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Its 5am and I'm miserable. Here's why.

2 days ago I ordered some Popeyes- 6 HUGE pieces of chicken, 2 boxes of fries, 8 biscuits, and mashed potatoes. I ate 2 pieces of chicken, a whole box of fries, 4 biscuits, and half the cup of mashed potatoes (damn that shit was good) on Saturday. So, no problem the first night. I finish ALL the food on Sunday and again I felt totally fine, until 10pm that is...

I wake up because I can't fall asleep for some reason, but I credit that to the 2 cans of energy drink I had today (my body is like hyper sensitive to caffeine). Then I start SWEATING. I'm trying to listen to music to calm myself down but it's not working. In the middle of a DangeloWallace video my belly starts cramping like all HELL like I've NEVER had a stomach ache this bad before. It's making hella noise too and all I can do is put a pillow on my stomach and lean over it (I had been delirious with nausea and pain for 2 hours at that point so don't question my questionable decisions aksvqkdvwi). I'm unreasonably scared of vomiting so I'm trying not to burp but that's keeping more gas inside and making me bloateddd and it's not coming out the other way either. So I have my left hand on my stomach, desperately trying to rub out the cramps, and my right hand holding my phone, scrolling through my fyp on tiktok (pay attention to that). Soo shit starts to hit the fan now. Maybe 10 minutes later (I wasn't keeping track of time) this HUGE cramp just hit me like an 8 wheeler and I audibly yell and double over even more than I already am. So in the midst of all that my sociopath of a digestive system decides it's rewind time and when I tell you my stomach ROLLED likeee there are no words to describe it. I sprint to the bathroom with my left hand still on my mess of a tummy buttt I kind of forgot that my right hand was occupied by my phone. So, in my haste to open the door, I drop my phone. And. It. C r a c k s. I'm in too much pain to register this at the moment so I just run into the bathroom and heave over the toilet for what felt like an hour but was probably 20 minutes. Nothing comes up and my belly hurts so bad that I'm crying...that's when I take initiative. As much as I hate this I take my index and middle finger and press on the back of my throat and I'm just gagging until I hit the jackpot! It's only a little bit at first but then my body finished the tutorial and speedran STRAIGHT to the final boss and I threw up literal chunks of food 🤢. After the fiasco is over I actually do feel a bit better but now I'm shaking and can barely lift my arm. Despite this I crawl back into bed and try to get some sleep. I figure that's not actually gonna happen though so I reach for my phone to scroll some more and then it hits me. As fast as I can I run to the bathroom and pick up my phone. Fast forward to now and I am typing on an Android with a cracked screen to pass the time cause there's no way in hell I'm going back to sleep. So yeah, thank you for listening to my TedTalk.

Holy cow dude, what a wild ride akdnkandkandkans

This sounds so painful but really hot haha, thanks for sharing :) All that food was just sitting in your poor stomach like a rock until you got sick! I would love to be there to rub your tummy and help you throw it all up <3 and after your tummy is empty again, we could start all over again…

#ask #anonymous #stuffing #emeto #tummy ache #belly ache #stomachache #belly kink #writings #sorry about your phone tho rip

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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 4 years

Text

I’ am not my father

Warnings: Mad Barba, slight touch on smut.

Enjoy x

"SVU ever brings me a case like this again and you can find some other ADA to fight it" Rafael all but yelled at you and Liv as you walked into his office.

"Come on Rafael, it was air tight" Liv snapped back.

"Air tight? If this case was so air tight it wouldn't have ended in a not guilty. You both let your emotions get in the way and clouded your judgement. I am not putting my job on the line anymore" he snarled back

Liv threw her hands up and shock her head.

"You are out of line Rafi, that's not fair" you said back. He glared at you.

"What's not fair is me losing my job over this. That's not fair because you acted like the emotional little girl that you are"

Your eyes opened wide with shock. Rafael felt regret as soon as those words left his mouth but he couldn’t take them back now.

"Come on Rafael, that's not nice" Liv spoke back.

"You both need to get out, now" Liv turned and walked out, you stood there staring at him.

"Are you deaf as well now? Get out NOW" you turned on your heels walked out and slammed the door shut.

"Good luck with THAT this afternoon Carmen" she didn't know what to say and you left to catch up with Liv.

On your way back to the station in the car, it was silent. Rafael had never spoke to you like that before, ever. You felt so mad and you were trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Are you ok?" Liv asked as she turned off the car

"I will be, Thanks Liv" a small tight smile coming to your face.

You both walked into the bullpen to everyone at their desks. Their heads turned to look at you as soon as you walked through the doors.

"How did it go?" Fin asked leaning back in his car.

"Not guilty" you answered back

"No way" Nick threw his pen down on his desk.

"Ah yeah, Barba isn't happy with us at all" Liv sighed.

----

It was your day to go to your place to check on everything and get more cloths before going back to Rafael's. But after the way he spoke to you today, you decided to stay home and order in.

You hadn't heard from him so you didn't bother reaching out. You and Nick were working the night shift the next night so you didn't go to bed early, you stayed up to catch up on some shows you had recorded.

It was 12.30 am when your phone started to ring, it was Sonny,

"Hey Sonny everything ok?"

"Ah hey, no not really, Amanda is on her way to pick you up, she will be there in 5 minutes, meet her down stairs please"

"What's going on?"

“She will fill you in" and he hung up.

You jumped up, ran and changed your track pants to jeans, you left on the navy t shirt you had on, put on a strapless bra, tied your hair in a low lose pony, put on socks and runners. You put your phone in your back pocket, and your badge and key's in your front pocket grabbed your wallet and went down stairs. Just as you walked out on the street Amanda pulled up and you jumped in.

"What the hell is going on?" you looked over at her in the drivers seat.

"Sonny and I decided to have a drink after our midnight shift, we walked into Florini's and seen Barba at the bar. He has had a LOT to drink. He wouldn't leave with us, He just kept saying I'm not my father, so we called you"

"You should have left him there" you rolled your eyes looking forward to the road.

She looked at you funny raising one eye brow at you, so you told her what happened.

"I' am sure he didn't mean it" Amanda said softly.

"He meant it, don't you worry about that" you spat back.

Amanda managed to get a park outside the bar, and you got out and walked in with Amanda behind you. There weren't many people so you saw Sonny and Rafael sitting at the bar straight away. Sonny looked up and gave you a small half smile, he got off the bar stool and walked over to you and put his hand on your shoulder giving it a light squeeze,

"Go easy Y/N, he is really sorry"

"He's drunk, he doesn't know what he is"

You walked over to Rafael, he hadn’t notice you yet. The bar tender had just poured him another drink.

"Don't you think he's had enough? Can I have the bill please" he sculled down his drink not even looking at you.

"Give me your wallet" you snapped at him

He missed putting his hand in his pocket 3 times, then he got it and handed it to you. You pulled out his card and paid the tab. You grabbed his case and jacket and handed it to Amanda

"We are taking you home, let's go"

He still hadn’t spoken to you. Rafael stood up putting his arm around your shoulders, you put your arm around his waist and you walked him out to Amanda's car. Sonny opened the door and he got in, looking like Bambi on ice. You went around the other side and got in the car.

"Yours or His?" Amanda looked at you through the review mirror.

"His" You huffed back.

Before to long you were back at his place. Amanda and Sonny helped you take him upstairs. You took the keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. This was the most silent he had ever been.

"Thanks guys I got it from here. See you tomorrow" they both waved and left.

You lent him up against the wall just inside the door, you got on your knees and took his shoes off. He was so out of it you could control his body. You pulled him off the wall and walked him to the bed room and turned on the light. He stood in front of you still not saying a word. You undone his tie and took it off and then undone his vest and took that off too. You pulled his arm and led him to the bed, you pulled down the blankets and sat him down, and he laid down staring into space. You pulled the blankets up and turned to walk away, when he grabbed your hand.

"I'm not like my father"

You pulled your hand out of his, walked and turned the light off and shut the door. You slept on the couch.

Sleep was too far away all night. You messaged Carmen from your phone and told her Rafael would be in, in the afternoon, something came up. You didn't have to be at work till 4 that afternoon, so you tried and tried to fall asleep, but it wasn't happening. Finally at 5am you drifted off to sleep.

****

"Bang" you woke up with a fright, you sat up and looked around you and seen on the wall clock it was 9.30 am, you heard the water run so you turned towards the kitchen, there was Rafael looking like a mess, hair everywhere, still in the same cloths, having a drink of water.

You both didn't say anything. You sat up, folded up the blanket you used, put your shoes on and headed to the front door without a word. You had seen him awake, he was fine so you could leave.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Home, your awake and fine I can leave now" he ran after you and grabbed your arm.

"No please don't go" you looked down at the floor. "Give me 10 minutes to shower, please. I have some explaining to do"

You pulled out of his grip and walked into the kitchen to make some toast and coffee for yourself while he had a shower.

You were sitting at the dining room table, with your coffee cup resting on your bottom lip looking into no where. You guys had been together for a while now, but this was the first really serious fight you guys had.

----

Rafael stood in the shower and let the water run over him and flashes of what happened came running back. Yes he was upset about the case, the DA wasn't happy, but he didn't cop it has much as he thought. But to say what he said to you, what a horrible thing to say. Age never mattered to you, and you always put people in their place when it was brought up. So why did he say that. He sounded like his father, and that's what drove him to drink that much. He couldn't have that, acting like his Dad, he prided himself to act the complete opposite. What he said would have pushed you away, he knew that. But he loved you way too much to let you go.

----

He walked out in a pair of dress pants and a white under shirt, his suspenders hanging down around him. He knew you messaged Camera, because when he woke up he had a message from her asking him what case files he needed when he came in that afternoon. He remembered you had over night that night, so he had time to try and make this better.

He seen you sitting at the table holding your coffee mug, with a tear rolling down your cheek.

"Please don't cry Hermosa" as he sat down on the chair opposite you. You wiped the tear away with the back of your hand.

"Say what you need to say, so I can go home" You looked down at the table

"I'm so sorry Mi Hermosa. I never should have said what I said. You’re not that at all, you’re an amazing person and I love you. And I'm sorry about last night. Treating you the way I did- I’m ashamed. I sounded like my father. I ran away and drank stupid instead of trying to fix it. I 'am not going to be like him"

You snapped your eyes off the table and looked at Rafael’s face, it was filled with sadness and his eyes were damp with tears.

"I didn't like what you said to me, I'm not some emotional little girl, I’ am a strong grown ass women. I understand you were mad, but if you’re going to start treating me like that and speaking to me like that after cases, I can't work with you anymore. I'll be off cases that involve you or we break up, we can't do both if it's going to be like this"

Tears ran down Rafael’s cheeks. He knew he over stepped.

"You are strong, one of the strongest I know. I love you and I love working with you. You’re an amazing detective, I don't want any of that to happen. I want to grow old with you"

"You can't walk around and say nasty things like that to me and not expect me to be upset or mad or react. You took your anger out on me in one of the nastiest way you could have. You knew saying that would push the right buttons, that's not you Rafi, you’re not that person"

You got up, walked into the kitchen and washed up your mug and plate so you could leave. You were washing up with tears running down your face and Rafael was sitting at the table with his head in his hands, his big tears landing on the table.

You finished quickly and headed to the front door, before you knew it Rafael grabbed you from behind wrapping his arms around your middle and pulled you into him, resting his head on your back.

"Please don't go" you could feel his wet face through your t shirt.

You spun around in his grip and faced him, his eyes were blood shot and filled with tears.

"I' am not my father"

"No you’re not. You are Rafael Barba, the most amazing ADA in Manhattan, if not New York. Your smart, kind, sassy, extremely sexy and have the best suspenders collection in the whole of the USA-"

You both giggled through your tears. You reached up to cup his face with both hands, rubbing your thumbs over his cheeks.

"And you’re my boyfriend. I love you Rafi. Couples fight and that's fine, but nasty things like that being said just to hurt the other person, we can't be doing that"

"I’ am so so sorry Hermosa, I never want to risk losing you. If I ever lost you I would be losing my soul mate, please forgive me?"

You pulled his face towards you and kissed him lightly on the lips. You could feel his tongue running along your bottom lip so you opened your mouth slightly and moved your head so he could deepen his kiss.

His hands were resting on your hips, he pushed you up against the wall. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him even closer. Rafael slid his hands up your shirt to your bra back and undone it, pulled it out and threw it on the floor, he grabbed the hem of your t shirt and pulled it up over your head. Only breaking the kiss when it slipped over your face. He landed back on your lips again, then started to kiss down your neck, you grabbed the hem of his under shirt and pulled it up over him.

He continued to kiss all over your neck and around your collar bone. He ran his hands down your sides to the waist of your jeans then around to the button and he undone it, he slid both of his hands down the back and grabbed your ass in each hand. You could feel him hardening up against you.

He pulled away and looked in yours eyes,

"I will love you as long as I live”

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dnarez · 3 years

Text

Chapter 28 - So Cute!!!

After the doctor check up on the wounds it was hell to get you to eat the hospital food, Hawks tried everything on his arsenal, from begging to ordering, you did not give up.

"That's food for the sick!" you said while pouting, if you could, you would have crossed your arms, but since you were chest down and back up, it was harder to do anything really.

"You ARE sick!" Keigo tried again, this conversation was going on for hours now, since the doctor went out of the bedroom at 5am, and now it was 3pm.

"I already told you! I'm not sick! I'm hurt!"

"There's no difference!" he said flailing his arms around.

"Of course there is!"

Keigo stuffed his face on his hands and shouted, his scream being stuffed by his hands "JUST EAT! OUR I'M GONNA MAKE YOU" he demanded pointing at you.

"I'M A PERSON ON MEDICAL CARE!!!! AND FORCEFULLY FEEDING SOMEONE IS A CRIME!!!"

"YOU NEED TO EAT YOU DUMB BIRB!"

"I REFUSE TO EAT THIS FOOD! IS FOR THE SICK!"

"YOU ARE SICK!"

"AM NOT!"

"YES YOU ARE!"

The shouting was interrupted by an angry nurse grabbing Hawks by his ear "SIR! You are on a hospital!!! You need to keep the noise down! Our you gonna have to leave!" a copy of the other nurse was angrily looking at him, but this one had more of a fox vibe, unlike her sister that have more of a wolf vibe.

"Oh! You must be Amaterasu's sister! Nice to meet you" she looked at you and huffed, letting go of your brothers ear.

"If you don't eat you can't go home... and it's nice to finally meet you too" the fox nurse got closer to the bed and took the tray of cold food "I'm gonna go get you some warm food, and if you behave and eat everything I will sneak you something, deal?" her fluffy tail was swaying lightly.

".... Okay... I will eat it... BUT IT NEEDS TO BE SOMETHING SWEET!"

She chucked and nodded going out of the room.

"Oh my good! That hurt!" Keigo pouted as he caressed his ear "I like her sister more! The other one is also prettier!"

"But... Kei-nii... they are identical..." you look at him with a poker face.

"Nu-uh! they are totally different! The one from yesterday had wolf ears and a wolf tail, this one has fox tail and fox ears, also her eyes are blue and the wolf girl have deep black eyes, they looked like voids!" he flailed his arms around.

"Dude... d-do you have a crush on my damn nurse!?" he blushed heavily at her comment and shook his head.

"No! I-I just though she was cute!" he evaded your eyes.

"Do you want my sister's number?" fox nurse was back with the tray of food in hands.

You almost jumped out of your skin, and Keigo just looked at her with shining eyes "M-may I!?"

She chuckled and nodded as she put the tray in front of you "Can you sit up or do you need to be spoon feed?"

"I need help to sit" Keigo went to you and helped you to sit up, being extra careful with your back.

"Here" the fox nurse put a paper with her sister's number on Keigo's pocket and gave you your food "I need to make my check-up run, and when I come back I want to see this tray empty"

You looked at the food with disgust but nodded "Yes ma'am"

Keigo was busy using his phone as you ate, and while you were finishing the food you looked at him and saw that he had a small smile and was blushing a little. "Hey! Ditch the side chick! Your main hoe is right in front of you!" you put a hand on your chest and gasped dramatically while trowing your head back "Do you have no shame! I'm hurt"

He chuckled and put his phone back on his back pocket "Alright, alright, you won, My focus is totally yours my main hoe" Keigo looked took a backpack from under your bed and put it on his lap.

"HEY! Did you hide that under my bed!?"

"Are you blind?"

"No..."

"So I don't need to answer that" you clicked your tongue at that as he laughed at you. "Yeah, you're right, I did hide it under your bed" Keigo got serious and pulled a thin photo album from the bag "This... is the only picture album that had photos of you younger... the other ones we will burn it together if you like, but this" he adjusted the arm chair so that now you could see it clearly "this is your photos, this is your history, I didn't look at it, I promise, and my on sidekicks were the ones that looked into the albums"

His stare was intense, like always.

You chewed your bottom lip and asked what you were dying to know "W-what about your pics? The ones that they had of you... did someone saw it?"

He shook his head "No, there weren't pics with my face in it, by the looks of it the burn it, and- I'm sorry, but they told me that this was everything about you, besides your documents and stuff"

You nod and finish eating "Let's see it! I know that I was very cute when I was small!"

"Don't you mean smaller?" you punch his shoulder and he chuckled.

"You are not that tall!" you huff and look at the album as he open it.

The first picture... brought you sad memories.

"I had tried to run away after the normal 'stress relief' session, I walked on the snow with only the clothes on my body, they had clipped my wings so that I wouldn't learn how to fly... Mo-" you interrupted yourself from calling that woman 'mom' and take a deep breath, holding back tears "that woman... called him and while he chased me she got the camera out..."

(eyes and hair are just like Keigo's and this is the site that I used to make this https://picrew.me/image_maker/58190 go make your own!!!)

"She took this picture after he dragged me inside... it was really cold that winter..."

"oh my god... you-... WERE SO CUTE!!! Even crying you were cute! Damn it! How could someone just go and hit a child this-... this... ADORABLE!" he huffed angrily.

You giggle and smiled at him "What happen to them anyway?" you turned the page.

Keigo looked at you and smiled "They are in jail, if I could, I would have sent them to Tartarus, but they are just some low level bad guys, and Tartarus is for the really bad guys"

You nodded understanding and looked back at the small photo album. "It's sad that there is only two photos..."

"What happened there? You're smiling, SO CUTE!"

You chuckled "It was the first time that they took me out, I had started making really good food, so they rewarded me with a walk on the park"

"You look cold..." he looked concerned at the photo.

"I did a good job at cleaning and at cooking, at that time I was around... 9? Maybe 8, but at that time they stopped hitting me daily, that's the only clothes I had at the time"

(sorry, I don't have the link for this one... but it is on the same site as the precious one)

"SO CUTE!!! And what about that red ribbon?" he pointed at the picture.

"Oh! I found it cute, I also was able to hide my own wings at that time, they didn't have excuses to take it from me" you nodded at him

"But what does the ribbon has anything to do with it?" he tilted his head, confused.

"It was the first gift someone gave me... it was for me being a 'good girl', the park was an isolated one, and it was cold as hell! There was no one around to see me... no one to save me... until you showed up!" You kissed his cheek and gave him a big smile "My hero!"

Keigo looked at you shocked, and started to sob as he hugged you "I'm so glad that I made it on time! I was so worried about you! My lil birb! My sister!" he was crying pretty hard after that.

You both stayed like that for a very long time, just hugging each other, you never felt so safe in your whole life, the feeling of belonging was really incredible.

Tag List:

cutietootierootandlooty

#bnha hawks #bnha x reader #bnha #bnha x y/n #mha #mha x you #mha x reader #mha x y/n #takami keigo #keigo takami #keigo takami x reader #siblings #hawks x reader #hawks #mha hawks

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cherrytdatt · 4 years

Text

Sadness Ritual pt. 3

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: ~3.6k

Summary: Will Harrison's engagement party solve things between Y/N and Tom?

Warnings: N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

A/N: PART 3 IS HERE!!! after struggling a lot I finally did it. Part of this was inspired by the engagement scene in 'set it up' also know as my favorite rom-com ever so think about that vibe! I hope you guys like it. I really liked.

Playlist: No playlist...I heard so many things...It was a rollercoaster!

Part 1 | Part 2

Three months ago, at 3 am, Tom stood in your kitchen and said the words you wished for months to hear from him. And yet, you felt your entire chest hurt, and you couldn't look at him. You sent him home, and since then, you didn't see him again. But now, the inevitable was coming. Anna and Harrison's engagement party is in one day. You're the maid of honor, and Tom is the best man. Anna asked you if you would be okay seeing him again and, to be honest, you don't know, but it’s her engagement party. You won't deny the presence of her fianceé's best friend and best man.

"Ready for the party?" Anna asked while you two looked at some dresses in some store.

The party would be something small, just family and friends, in Tom's backyard. You wanted to help, but going to Tom's house, knowing he would be there, wasn't in your plans.

"Yeah! I'm so happy for you. And Harrison. Since your first date, I knew you two would get married," you said with a smile. "I remember I said I would be a shitty maid of honor," you said with a laugh. "And Tom said he would be a great best man," your smile faded a little when you thought about Tom.

"Did you talk to him?" Anna asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," you said simply.

"Harrison said he's feeling better, but still misses you," Anna said with a weak voice.

You cleared your throat. "I miss him too," you said almost in a whisper.

"Why don't you talk to him?" she asked.

"I don't know. Things got pretty bad between us. I'm still sad with him, and I'm sure he is sad with me too," you said, and the sadness in your voice was almost palpable.

"I'm sure he forgave you. And I think you already forgave him. You're just afraid," she said.

"Maybe. Let's see how mad I'll be when I see him tomorrow," you chuckled, but your voice was still sad. "D-do you...hum...do know what happened...to the girl?

"Oh, please! He ended things with her the morning after your fight, and never saw her again," Anna said.

"What you think of these?" you asked, putting a black floral dress in front of you, and changing the subject to hide how happy that information made you.

"Loved," she said animatedly.

"I'll try it," you said, going into the dressing room.

You didn't wanna think about Tom and all the situation now, but the talk with Anna got stuck into your head. 'He still misses you'. Her voice was louder and clearer than when you talked. You decided to buy the black dress for Anna's party. Thank God she chose a very casual party, so you could go with comfortable clothes.

"I see you tomorrow," Anna said goodbye, leaving you in front of your building.

You got into your apartment, still thinking about your talk with her. You missed Tom, more than anything in your life, but every time you thought about those pictures, and the fact that he did all that even though he liked you, you felt a strange and bitter feeling in your stomach. All you wanted was to talk to him and solve things, but you felt so afraid of what he would do and what he was willing to do to make things better.

You used the rest of your night writing some essays you had to finish this week and watching some comedy on TV.

'Hey. How are you? I just wanna say that I can't wait to see you tomorrow. And I want you to know that I'm cool if you decide not to talk with me. I just want you to be okay 🙂' Tom's message took your attention away from the TV. You stared at the text, not knowing what to say. Of course, you wanted to see him, but talk to him would be the best thing? You really didn't know.

'Hi. I'm great. And you? I'm okay talking to you tomorrow,' you typed, throwing the phone on the other side of the couch like it was a bomb ready to explode. "Fuck!" you said, noticing the smile that appeared in your face.

'I'm good. That's good. I miss talking to you. How crazy it is that our friends are getting married?!@#$' The bleep from your phone made you smile again, and you reached for it, reading his text.

'Crazy as shit! We're not old enough for this,' you ignored the first half of the text on purpose. You missed him, but you weren't ready to let him know that yet.

'I keep saying this to Harrison, but he doesn't listen to me lol. But they love each other very much. Harrison showed me his speech, and I cried like a baby,' he said, and you laughed, remembering how easy it was for him to cry. He had a playlist just for that.

'Well, It's not that hard to make you cry lol. I chose not to hear Anna's speech. I wanted to be a surprise,' you confessed. She told you it would be very emotional, so you decided to enjoy with everyone else at the party.

'I don't cry that easily. I didn't even cry in my last movie,' he said, and you remembered you didn't watch the movie with him because the release happened when you were not talking.

'Congratulations on the movie, btw. I heard it's very good,' you said, confessing you didn't watch it. The real reason for you not to watch you weren't confessing. You didn't wanna hear see him or hear his voice. It was too painful.

'You didn't watch it yet? 😱' he asked, and you could see the shocked and offended look on his face.

'I'm sorry. I didn't have time,' you lied.

'We need to change this! This is unacceptable!' he said, and you wanted to invite him over to solve things once and for all. You wanted to sit in front of the TV, with Tom by your side, like you always did, and watch as many movies as possible.

'I'm going to bed now. See you tomorrow at the party,' you cut him off before he could ask anything else, and Tom noticed that. Because in one minute he was smiling at his cellphone, just about to ask you to watch a movie with him, and now he was staring at your last text, questioning everything he could've said or done to make things different.

"Hey, mate. Are you okay?" Harry asked, entering the TV room, and seeing his brother with a weird face, ignoring the TV.

"Yeah. Just...talked to Y/N," he said, pointing at his phone.

"Really? How did it go?" Harry asked, genuinely interested. He saw his brother whining and moping around the house for the last three months. After the pictures got released, Tom freaked out. He had to go to therapy, you stopped coming to their house, and he wasn't that cheerful guy anymore. Now, he was in a good place. Not like before, but he was getting there. And talk to you was the last step to make everything go back to normal.

"It was going back to normal, but then she shut me down. Not aggressively. She just didn't give me the opportunity to make things as normal as before," he said.

"Oh! I'm sorry, man. But that is better than nothing, right?" Harry shrugged. "And you are seeing her tomorrow. Who knows what can happen?" he smiled, and his brother did the same.

To say that this night was hard was an understatement. Tom couldn't sleep. He scrolled through his entire timeline on Instagram, watched a movie, then another one, ate, played video game, and when there was nothing else to do, he decided that 5am was a good time to go to the gym. But not even that helped him relax. He could feel every fiber in his body suffering from anxiety. Tea with his mom after lunch was the only thing that kept his mind calm for a few hours. After that, he went home to get ready for the party.

There was no set of clothes in his closet that worked. Nothing was good enough. "Hey..." Anna called him from the door. "Want some help?" she offered.

"No. I know you have other things to do. I don't wanna bother you," he said with a smile.

"Not a chance. Everything is settled and I'm ready. Harrison is the one taking forever," she rolled her eyes. "I can help you," she said, getting into his room, and sitting in his bed. "What are your choices?" she asked.

"I don't have any," he scratched his neck, a little embarrassed.

"I think I know what to do," she said, getting up and going through his closet. "It will be simple..." she said, picking up a black pair of jeans and throwing at him. "But very cute..." she picked a black shirt.

"How can a black shirt with a black pair of jeans be cute?" he asked, looking at the clothes she gave him.

"Please..." she rolled her eyes. "You'll look cute," she picked a black cardigan, that he rarely used, and gave it to him. "And will match with the maid of honor, cause she's wearing black too," she finally gave him a white sneaker and a pair of glasses that he liked to use as a fashion statement.

"I'll match the maid of honor?" he asked, biting his bottom lip, trying not to smile.

"Perfectly!" Anna said with a happy smile.

Tom looked at the ground. "I talked to her yesterday," he said, putting the clothes on the bed before Anna could leave.

"And?" Anna said expectantly.

"I was just telling her she didn't need to talk to me today if she didn't want to. But, she said she was okay talking to me," his shrug was trying to sound like he didn't care, but his smile was showing the truth.

"I think you two will work things out," Anna said with a smile, leaning in the doorway.

"I hope so. I miss her so much, it's physically painful sometimes," he confessed with a sad voice.

"I know. I'm rooting for you," Anna said, going to him, and giving him a hug.

"Thanks," he said, and she smiled, leaving him alone.

Soon, the house was getting crowded. The backyard was decorated with fairy lights and wooden furniture. The waiters and waitresses walked around the house, serving beer and pizza.

Tom tried to distract himself, talking to as many people as he could. His mom, dad, and brothers were there since they were practically Harrison's family. His mom was feeling his son's anxiety.

"Are you okay?" she whispered to him.

"Great," he said, but his voice sounded anxious. He kept moving his weight from one foot to another. "She'll be here soon," he said.

"I know. And you'll let her be. Otherwise, you'll scare her," she said.

"Yeah...sure," he agreed. He glanced at the door as he did at least fifty times in the last hour, and for his surprise, this time you were there, taking off your jacket, revealing the black floral dress Anna said you would wear. And you two were matching. Tom's smile grew wilder unconsciously. You talked to some guests that were inside the house and then went outside, joining Anna and Harrison. You looked like an angel. Tom couldn't believe he survived all this time away from you. You looked at him for a second, and he saw Anna whispering something to you. You smiled, widely, and Tom felt like he had won the night.

You walked toward him, going to talk to his family. You didn't see Nikki for so long. You missed drinking tea with her, talking about your life, asking for advice.

"Hey, Ms. Holland," you greeted her.

"Hi, sweetie. Long time, no see,' she said, hugging you.

"Yeah. I was...busy," you said, looking at Tom for a split second and then to her again.

"I imagined. How is everything going? College. Work. Life?" she asked.

"Pretty much the same. I meant to call you a few times in the last months, but I didn't wanna bother you," you said sincerely. You really thought about calling and talking to her.

"Don't be silly. I would've loved talking to you," she said with a kind smile. "Let's have lunch this week. What do you think?"

"I would like that very much," you said, relieved that she didn't hate you after all the drama.

"Dom, look who is here," she said, calling her husband's attention. He said goodbye to the person he was talking to, engaging in conversation with you two. Sometimes your eyes met Tom's, and he noticed a sparkle in them every time you did. He didn't say anything while you were talking to his parents. He didn't want to upset you. "If you excuse us, darling, we're gonna talk to some friends," Nikki said, caressing your arm.

"Sure, go ahead," you said with a smile. They left, and it was just you and Tom.

"Hi," he said softly, trying to contain his excitement.

"Hey," you said, scratching the label of the bottle you were holding, anxiously.

"You look really good," he said, drinking a sip of his beer after.

"Thanks. You too," you were avoiding his eyes.

"Anna helped me choose this," he pointed to his clothes.

"It looks good," you smiled, finally looking in his eyes.

Tom couldn't hold it anymore. His mind wanted to keep it cool, but his mouth was faster. "I miss you. Everyday," he said. You looked at him, and all your worries were dead. All you could think was how much you missed him and how much you wanted him back in your life.

"I..." you started.

"Okay, everyone...it's toast time," Anna said clinking her glass with a fork. You and Tom looked at each other. Tom was afraid he had ruined his only chance. You were sad cause you couldn't tell him you missed him too.

"I'll go first," Harrison said, and some people cheered. "So...Anna. What can I talk about Anna?" he joked. "I'm kidding. I'll just say that the first time Y/N brought you around," he looked at you, raising his bottle, and you smiled. "That day, I knew I would marry you. I didn't say anything cause we were all friends, and I didn't want to scare you. But then, we were watching England's game at the 2018 World Cup, and when we lost, you cried. At that moment, I knew I had do something to make you mine, cause we were made for each other. Two months later I asked you out, and we started dating. Now I'm happy to say that we're gonna cry over the English team together, forever," he said the last part, looking at her. Everyone around cheered and applauded them and Anna gave him a quick kiss.

"Okay, now it's my turn," Anna said, taking a step forward. She was a showoff. "Are you ready to cry?" she asked, looking at him, and he smiled, nodding. I thought I would never find someone that I loved enough to ignore their flaws and accept spending my life with them. Unlike from you, when we first met, I thought great eyes, great body," she laughed, looking at him. "We could be friends. I mean, Tom and Y/N were always together. It wasn't like we could ignore each other," she said, and you and Tom looked at each other. A bit of sadness in your eyes, thinking about how that part wasn't true anymore. "But then, I got to meet you better, I started to see your flaws, and yet, dislike you wasn't an option even if I tried. My grandma always said 'we like because...we love despite...' I like you because you're nice to me, you are my best friend and you always search for me in a room when someone tells something funny, just to see my reaction. And I love you despite you being the last one to get ready, your gym schedule, and all the times you yell 'Wonderwall' in my ear, even though you know I hate this song," she finished. Her eyes were glistening with tears, just like everybody else. It took a few seconds for people to start cheering and clapping them. Harrison hugged her, with a wide and bright smile.

"Great speech," you said, going to her and Harrison, and hugging them. Tom following right behind you.

"I almost cried again," Tom said, hugging Harrison.

"Almost?" Anna asked, her thumbs brushing the corner of his eyes, cleaning a tear that threatened to fall.

"It was a really good speech," he defended himself.

"Thanks," she smiled. "We're gonna talk to...some people. We see you guys later?" she said holding your hand, and you and Tom nodded.

"We're gonna eat something," he said, resting his hand on your lower back, and they left. "Can we talk?" he asked, once Harrison and Anna left.

"Yeah, sure!" you said, and he noticed the anxiety in your voice. At least he wasn't the only one that was afraid.

He walked to his room, opening the door so you could go in first. You walked to the window, looking at the party that was happening downstairs.

"It looks really good from here," you said. "They are so happy," you smiled, watching Harrison and Anna dance together.

"I'm happy to see you," he said, cutting you off. "I've missed you. Everyone did," his hands were in his pockets, and he was trying to stay calm even though his heart was loud in his ear.

"I missed everyone too. It was good to see your mom," you said, fidgeting with the fabric of your dress. The room went silent. Tom didn't wanna push you, but he wanted to be with you and talk like before. Maybe he didn't think this through. The only noise was the music from the party. "I'm sorry," you said, taking a step forward, and Tom looked at you, waiting. You were nervous. "I'm sorry for pushing you away the way I did," your voice was heavy. "We were both sad and broken-hearted, and I was selfish. I only thought about the pain I was feeling. I'm sorry for ignoring your feelings," you said, and Tom felt his heart beating faster. He never thought about that night this way. He always thought about how much pain he caused you and how guilty he was feeling.

"I should've talked to you. I was so focused on the reasons why we couldn't be together," Tom said, taking a step in your direction. "I never thought about the reasons why we could," he confessed. These last three months he thought a lot about what he did wrong, and not talking to you sooner, giving you the chance to decide if you two could work, was his biggest mistake. "I was a coward. With you, with me, with that girl," his voice was trembling. "And I regret every day for what I did," he finished. You were looking at him, and your expression was unreadable. Even for him, that knew you for half of his life.

"I love you, and I," you started, but then you stopped. Your eyes blinking heavily. "I love you," you repeated after a few seconds, touching your lips with your fingers, looking away from him. It was like you could touch every word. "I...I love you!" you said like you just realized that. You had told him that before, but you were so hurt that you never let yourself feel that completely. Now, standing here, with nothing in your way, that was all you could feel. "I love you..." you smiled, looking at Tom that still had a lost look in his face. "I love you!" you said one last time like you were declaring your feelings for him.

Without giving you a chance to say it again, Tom walked the two steps that were keeping you apart, holding your face in his hands, and kissing you. It was urgent and frantic at first, but then you felt your heart slowing down and it was like the entire world was in slow motion. Your hand went to his waist, holding his sweater, while his fingers tangled in your hair, one of his hands holding your neck, deepening, even more, the kiss.

"I love you too," he whispered against your lips, breaking the kiss. He smiled, looking into your eyes. "And I really think we should go on a date."

1 year and 7 months later...

"Lunch is ready," Sam called from the kitchen, and soon footsteps and a door closing were heard upstairs.

"Y/N! You're cheating!" Tom yelled.

"Stop whining. I just closed the door!" you yelled back, running down the stair.

"Racing again?" Sam asked, seeing you enter the kitchen breathless.

"He said he would clean the room if I won," you shrugged. You yelped, feeling Tom lifting you up by the waist. "NO! PUT ME DOWN!" you yelled.

"You cheated!" he said, carrying you to the backyard and locking you out. He pointed and laughed at you through the glass door.

"I can't believe you are doing this. Let me in. I'm hungry!" you said, crossing your arms on your chest.

"If you wanna get in you'll have to do three things first," he said.

"They are being idiots again?" Harry asked entering the kitchen and seeing you two.

"What's going on?" Harrison asked, and Harry pointed to the glass door.

"Idiots," Anna said sitting on a chair around the dinner table.

"What three things?" you asked.

"First, you'll apologize for cheating," he said and you rolled your eyes. "Second, you'll help me clean the room. And third," he put his hand on his pocket, taking out a black velvet box. He opened the box, revealing a ring, and your eyes grew wider, noticing what was happening. "Marry me?" he said, and you covered your mouth in shock, just like everyone else behind him.

"Yes!" you said, feeling your eyes burning. "Yesyesyes!" you repeated, nodding frantically, while he opened the door, pulling you into a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #i’m not good at this and yet i’m doing it #tom holland fluff #fluff #tom holland blurb #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland scenario #tomhollandxreader #blurbs #tom holland angst #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x female reader #tom x y/n #tom holland x y/n #tom hollandxreader

169 notes · View notes

bumblesimagines · 5 years

Text

Hi, It's Me

Request: Yes or No

Uh, when I'm with you I have amnesia, got me without a mind

My stupid brain thinks that I need you, misleads me all the time

It's like I need a babysitter, someone to come and get me

'Cause I forget crazy shit, the littlest things impress me

Mediocre in the bed, my bestie would never let me

Uh, I did it again

(Y/N) groaned, tossing her phone on the bed. Reggie Mantle was such an asshole. The two were on and off since freshman year. She sighed, falling onto her bed. Reggie had his eyes on Veronica, it was clear as day.

I slip up, I text you, I forget

That you were so, so disrespectful

I did what I said that I wouldn't

Why am I a sucker for a fuckboy's freckles?

(Y/N) grabbed her phone, going to her messages. She clicked on their chat and started to type but backspaced instantly. He had the balls to break up with her over text and then try to get back together. Over text. (Y/N) flinched, hearing pounding on her door. She stood, leaving her room and walking over to the front door.

Hi, it's me, back again

Here to remind you that he's not worth it

Hi, it's me, your best friend

Take his old t-shirt off and burn it

Repeat after me, "I'm over it"

Yeah we're so over, over

Repeat after me, "I'm over it"

Yeah, we're so over, over

Cheryl entered the house.

"My bestie sensor was going off and I just had to come over and make sure you didn't make the same mistake for the tenth time." Cheryl said, dragging her back into her room. She had (Y/N) sit as she went through her clothes, finding anything that belonged to Reggie.

"We'll figure out if we wanna burn this shit or donate it later." Cheryl said. (Y/N) glanced at her phone when it vibarated but Cheryl was quicker than her.

"Good graces, (Y/N). You really responded to his 'I miss you' text yesterday?" Cheryl shook her head.

Hi, it's me back again

Here to remind you that he's not worth it

Hi, it's me, your best friend

Take his old t-shirt off and burn it

The girls made two piles. One for burning and one for donating.

"Cheap shit." Cheryl mumbled, putting them into trashbags. (Y/N) chuckled.

"We can-"

"My fireplace is gonna love all this." Cheryl said before facing (Y/N).

"No more Reggie Mantle, no more Bulldogs. Just us girls, living like queens." Cheryl said, crossing her arms. (Y/N) nodded.

When I'm with you I have amnesia, I'm weaker than before

My stupid brain thinks that I need you, I'm eager to hurt more

My best friend thinks that I'm a dumbass

My dumbass should be a little more cautious

'Cause I can't believe I say that I won't do it

Then I do it and make myself sick, I make myself nauseous (Urgh)

I slip up, I text you, I forget

That you were so so disrespectful

I did what I said that I wouldn't

Why am I a sucker for a fuckboy's freckles?

(Y/N) fixed her River Vixens top before leaving the lockeroom. She headed over to her actual locker and opened it, looking for her english book.

"Hey, babe."

"Hey, Re-" (Y/N) caught herself and sighed.

"What do you want, Reggie?" She asked, grabbing her book and looking at him.

"You left me on read the other day."

"You always leave me on read." (Y/N) pointed out.

"Cause I'm busy, (N/N). Come on, we can go to Pop's and talk about this." Reggie said, brushing his fingers on her cheek. (Y/N) nodded.

"Okay, fine." Reggie hummed and walked away. (Y/N) looked at Cheryl. The redhead had a raised brow, arms crossed, and a 'really?' look in her eyes.

Hi, it's me, back again

Here to remind you that he's not worth it

Hi, it's me, your best friend

Take his old t-shirt off and burn it

Repeat after me "I'm over it"

Yeah we're so over, over

Repeat after me "I'm over it"

Yeah, we're so over, over

"Do I need to make a big sign that says "don't fall for his bullshit", (Y/N)?" Cheryl asked, approaching her.

"Probably." She mumbled. Cheryl shook her head, crossing her arms.

"Okay, you're gonna stand him up and get ready for a party instead."

"But that's so ru-"

"He's done it plenty of times before." Cheryl reminded.

"A little taste of his own medicine won't hurt him." Cheryl assured, placing hwr hands on (Y/N)'s arms.

"But promise me, you won't fall for his tricks."

"I promise."

Hi, it's me, back again

Here to remind you that he's not worth it

Hi, it's me, your best friend

Take his old t-shirt off and burn it

Repeat after me "I'm over it"

Yeah we're so over, over

Repeat after me "I'm over it"

Yeah, we're so over, over

(Y/N) smoothed out her (F/C) dress, following Cheryl out of her car. They entered the house, going through the bodies of teenagers.

"Time to show everyone who the head bitches in charge are." Cheryl said, grabbing a cup and handing it to (Y/N).

Someone hold me back or I'll run a fucking marathon

I'm crazy now, crying, "Where the hell has my mascara gone?"

I say no more, it's over, it's all about me and what I want

But you find me, 5AM its booty call at the Marriott

Nobody's trophy wife, yeah I'm nobody's baby doll

I'm single now let me drunk dance on the tabletop

Let me be wild now, just let me be hysterical

Old me is dead and gone, I just went and buried her, like

(Y/N) laughed, one arm around Kevin. The two laughed and stumbled a bit. (Y/N) leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Fangs is watching." Kevin looked over at the Serpent before looking at her.

"I look good, right?" (Y/N) nodded, urging him over to the gang member. Cheryl was off with Toni. Chuck placed a hand on her midback to keep her from falling back.

"Oh, hey, Chuck." She smiled. Cheryl wiggled her way between them.

"Keep walking." She said. Chuck rolled his eyes and walked away from them.

"(Y/N)? How come you can come to a party but stand me up?" Reggie questioned once he spotted them. (Y/N) glanced at Cheryl.

"Guess I forgot."

"Seems like you're not important." Cheryl crossed her arms, glaring him down.

"We're here to party, Reggie. I'll see you later." (Y/N) said, grabbing Cheryl's hand and walking away.

"You go girl!" She squealed. The two girls laughed, grabbing more drinks.

Hi, it's me, back again

Here to remind you that he's not worth it

Hi, it's me, your best friend

Take his old t-shirt off and burn it

Repeat after me "I'm over it"

Yeah we're so over, over

Repeat after me "I'm over it"

Yeah, we're so over, over

#x reader #x you #x y/n #x male reader #riverdale #riverdale x you #riverdale x y/n #riverdale x male reader #riverdale x reader #cheryl blossom #cheryl x reader #cheryl blossom x reader #cheryl x fem reader #cheryl blossom x fem reader #reggie mantle

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justinsdaysinthedark · 5 years

Text

Post #2 - Thank You

What an overwhelming 36 hours it's been. An endless amount of phone calls & messages of support got me through what was an agonising day of waiting yesterday. This blog was started to keep my family and close friends informed about my journey but it's grown into so much more.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to each and every single one of you that took the time to reach out and wish me the best of luck. A simple message of support may not seem like much to you, but when you're in a situation like mine it means so much. Thank you.

Monday night provided the worst sleep I've had in weeks. Keep in mind, i've had some terrible sleeps in that time! Why? It was nerves. Simple as that. I was nervous for the gastroscopy and biopsy. It wasn't the procedure itself but the anaesthetic side to the operation. I haven't been under since I was five and the unknown had my measure. What if they didn't put me under fully? What if I could feel the procedure? What if I woke up early? What if I didn't wake up at all?

In retrospect, I lost sleep over nothing.

With the little sleep I did have, I woke up Tuesday morning earlier than normal. I was expecting the gastroscopy between 8:30am - 11:30am and knew I was booked in for a Radionuclide Ventriculography (RVG) scan of my heart later that afternoon.

Since being in hospital, 9am has been my regular time to get up, shower, brush the chompers - y'know, get ready for the day of sitting in my little 3x3 room and watching the world go past. Tuesday however, I was up and about at 7:30 - showered and ready. I hate feeling dirty, so if my procedure was at 8:30, I'd be ready to go.

Breakfast rolled around at 8:00 and I had to politely decline it as I was required to fast from 12am for the procedure.

This is about the time when my previous blog post took off and messages started coming in for the remainder of the morning. Before I knew it, it was 11am and nobody had been to get me for my procedure yet. I called the nurse and enquired to which I was told to hand tight, it shouldn't be much longer. Whilst she was around, she did my daily observations and it was no surprise to see my heart rate up to 100+BPM (regularly around 65BPM resting) and a slightly higher blood pressure. I guarantee this was due to the nerves.

Lunch comes around at 12:30 and once again had to politely decline. 12 hours fasting thus far - lucky I don't have an appetite still and honestly didn't care! It was around this time the doctor comes around with the results of my Lumbar Puncture. This fortunately came back negative as there was no major changes to the one I had three weeks ago. White blood cells still present with a marginally higher protein count than normal. I once again mentioned about my gastroscopy or there lack of and the doctor assumed I'd already had it. He said he'd follow it up and get back to me.

Mentally, I'm okay. Still incredibly nervous and a little frustrated I prepared myself for a procedure between 8:30 - 11:30 and still nothing. Your messages of support continue to light up my phone, which certainly kept me pre-occupied and made the time fly by.

Finally! 2:43pm and somebody comes to my bed to pick me up. "Justin Smith for a procedure? Let's go." I mentally build myself up as they take me. With my heart beating the quickest it had all day, we get going. Minutes later, we get into quite a dark room with a single scanner to my left and a glass wall. The radiographer, Liv meets me and goes through the basic questions. Name? Date of birth? Address? What are you here for? "A gastroscopy and biopsy" I reply. A few seconds of awkward silence follows so I split it with an "I think..." hoping to relieve the slight tension.

Liv replies with "not quite. We're here to do your Radionuclide Ventriculography scan of your heart."

My heart dropped. I spent the past fifteen minutes mentally preparing to go under and it's not even for the right procedure; I almost feel robbed!

To give you a brief understanding, the RVG scan involves injecting a small amount of radioactive material into your blood stream where they then track it until it passes through the heart, ensuring the heart is healthy and working as it should to a level that it should. Why am I having this scan? Good question. The doctors wanted to get ahead of the game essentially. Providing the biopsy comes back positive for lymphoma, I will need chemotherapy. The level of that chemo will depend, however if I do happen to require a strong dose, it can have negative effects to the heart. This scan is to ensure they have a baseline reading of my heart and ensure it will be able to handle a high dose of chemo.

This scan took 40 minutes from start to finish and before I knew it, I was up in my ward again. By this time, dad had arrived so at least I had somebody to talk to and reassure me when the time comes to get my gastroscopy.

4:00pm and the time finally came. 16 hours of fasting, I was slightly hungry but by this stage, I just wanted to get the procedure over and done with. I was still nervous, but more relieved the time had come. Having dad there for the hour or so beforehand made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.

The operation itself involved a gastroscopy (camera down my throat into my stomach) and if they could see lymphnodes, get a biopsy to test.

Cutting to the chase, was it worth worrying for 16+ hours? Not at all. All I remember is them checking my blood pressure, putting something in my cannula and asking me to count to 10. I got to 12 and next thing I know, I woke up coughing my lungs up in recovery with a nurse next to me. Luckily, the coughing only lasted for about fifteen minutes and that was just a result of irritating my throat.

Apparently, the gastroscopy went well and they were able to get a couple of good tissues from the lymphnodes to biopsy. Additionally, they also took the following photos whilst they were inside - I have no idea what they're of or even if anything is okay, but I thought they were cool!

For the first 45 minutes after the procedure, I felt fine. I was great! I felt incredibly thirsty and hungry but I assume that was simply due to the fact I hadn't eaten. Things from here turned pretty quickly once I had some dinner and a glass of water. I started to go downhill pretty quickly - feeling incredibly fatigued and tired....essentially dopey. It was from here I knew I just needed to have some rest and I'd wake up better in the morning. Needless to say, I was asleep by 9pm and basically slept through the night...except for when the nurses woke me up at 11pm, 12pm. 3am and 5am.

Waking up this morning (Wednesday July 17th), I instantly felt a lot better than I had last night. Admittedly, I had a bit more of a sleep in than I generally would've - it was great. I use the term 'sleep in' lightly though - it's nothing like a sleep in at home! What was the plan of attack for today? Well to be honest I wasn't too sure. A doctor yesterday mentioned briefly about a bone marrow test however the nurses and doctors on had no idea about one and couldn't see one booked in. I hadn't eaten since the night prior however the nurses got me to fast once again whilst they investigated. As a result, breakfast was staring me right in the face and I couldn't even touch my beloved weetbix, milk and sugar!

The clock ticks over to 10:37 and a Young, lanky doctor comes by. "Hi Justin, I'm Alex and I'll be doing your bone marrow procedure today..." Alex went on to explain the procedure, risks and what to expect. As he finished and started to walk away I had one last burning question. "When are we doing it? Later this afternoon?" "Now" Alex replied.

Woah. Wait. What? Hang on two seconds. I'm not prepared for this. You mean now...as in like, once Alex had finished preparing? You betcha....

Now I was under the assumption I'd be getting knocked out as I had done the night before however Alex proceeded to explain they'll put some medication in my cannula that "makes you feel like you've had four or five beers" as well as some local anaesthetic. No point being worried or scared about it - if it's getting done bedside, it couldn't be near as bad as the lumbar puncture, right? Once again, like I have been for the past few weeks I was completely and utterly wrong.

First though, what's this procedure involve? Basically, blood, white blood cells and platelets are produced in your bone marrow. This can be accessed via key areas of your body depending on your age...for me it was my hipbone - left side to be exact. The aim of the procedure is to get these fresh samples of blood, white blood cells and platelets as well as get a sample of my bone marrow - generally one small sample of the bone.

Alex got me curled up in the fetal position, lying on my right and basically began straight away. A few local anaesthetic needles numbed the surface before he inserted a needle in to collect the blood samples. This part was similar to a lumbar puncture, but I couldn't feel as much internally.

Alex then stated he was starting the bone marrow collection, which was without fail the worst part of this whole experience so far. He used the large needle with a blue handle, which can be seen below.

Alex hit the bone and advised me the next part was only going to tickle a little bit. What's he do? He starts to screw into my bone. Whilst I couldn't see, it felt very similar to uncorking a bottle of wine. Whilst he went in no deeper than 1mm, christ it hurt. The worst part was yet to come. Much like the pressure behind uncorking a bottle of wine, this happened too. Alex yanked the sample out and the pressure and pain was immense! Done. It's all done. Thank goodness. Then Alex said the words I didn't want to hear next. "Y'know what Justin? We want to make sure we only have to do this once, so let's get another sample, eh?"

Oh my lord. Are you kidding me? Whatever. Lets do it. I want to get it over and done with. I don't even think I replied, just mumbled something along the lines of whatever. And thus, the process happens again. I've attached photos of the two samples below, which I thought were pretty cool!

I must admit, Alex was incredible during the procedure. I asked at the start to keep me informed throughout the whole process. I'm quite an inquisitive character when things are happening that I don't know what the process is and this was no different. Alex not only kept me informed, he did as much as he could to keep me as comfortable as I could be during such a procedure. One thing I was incredibly surprised at was how much blood was on his hands!

Not much happened throughout the rest of today to be honest. Courtney, dad and mum came to visit but that was it. The doctors advised they are expecting the result of the biopsy tomorrow afternoon (hopefully) however they said it could take anywhere up to 72 hours from the procedure - which puts it at Friday night or Monday. Where does that put me? Same boat as I have been throughout this entire process - just waiting for answers.

I was advised that the results could come back either negative or inconclusive. Whilst this wouldn't be ideal, it's unfortunately just going to be another roadblock in this venture. In preparation the results don't come back the way we probably expect the, too, I'm booked in for an ultrasound of my gall bladder tomorrow. That will be their next avenue to answers. I suspect this is because my PET scan showed up significant areas in my gall bladder and I suppose that's not exactly a vital cog of the human body...so I suspect they'll just remove it, cut it open and see what's inside. But that's nowhere near a medical analysis of what's going to happen.

Before I finish for tonight, I'll leave you with how I am mentally. How am I going despite all this? Y'know what? I'm actually the opposite to what you probably think I am. I'm in the best mental state I have been over the past six weeks. Why? I think it's because we're close to (hopefully) getting an answer or at least following a more solid path to answers.

I end tonight with a final thank you. Thank you for all the messages and endless love. It's helping - trust me, it is.

Juzz xx

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