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hangovercurse · 3 years

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I’d Drop it All for You

Pictures of you and Pete are spread all over the internet, causing a whirlwind of hate to enter your social media.

Request: “Pete content please! anything !!! smut fluff whatever”

Pete x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, depictions of depression and anxiety

A/N: *Insert normal spiel about respecting A.G. and only using her for plot purposes. No harm intended.* Also I wrote most of this after a meeting with my therapist so... enjoy :) (He’s so cute in this gif I wanna kiss his face)

Word Count: 1820

You weren’t one of those people who loved being the center of attention. You knew that being in the spotlight also meant constantly living under a microscope, and you decided a long time ago that that was not for you.

But you were lucky enough to work as an assistant art director at just 24. You were hoping that The King of Staten Island, your newest project, would help get your name out into the professional world. But that wasn’t the only thing to come out of the film.

It happened unexpectedly, you showed up on set the first day, ready to do whatever the art director required of you. You couldn’t help but be slightly distracted by the lead actor and writer, Pete Davidson. He was so kind and funny, and he wasn’t uptight like everyone else.

After a few hours of filming, he came up to you, introducing himself. He said he “wanted to get to know everyone working on the project,” but you didn’t see him introducing himself to anyone else. You two started talking during breaks. Then he started sitting with you at lunch. Then he was asking for your number.

In a matter of weeks he was asking you out to dinner, taking you to a cozy restaurant that you absolutely adored. He walked you home, his hand grazing yours until you intertwined your fingers.

It was all very romantic, so when Pete asked if he could take you on another, you obviously said yes. Flash forward two weeks and he finally got the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, even though you were both exclusively seeing each other already.

After filming ended 2 months later, you were still working on the film in post, which meant you had an excuse to stay in Staten Island with Pete. After about 2 weeks in post, you spent more nights in his bed than your hotel’s.

Nearly 6 months later and you were happier than ever. You were splitting your time between your small apartment in the Bronx and Pete’s basement apartment. Pete introduced you to most of his friends, and you introduced him to yours.

But other than your small circles of friends, you kept your relationship fairly quiet. Pete doesn’t have social media and yours is strictly professional, so there are no pictures of you two together. You weren’t hiding each other, you loved each other, you just had no reason to tell tabloids. And you were perfectly happy with that.

Which made it so much worse when various news sites had pictures of you two holding hands. Had they been anyone else you would’ve thought they were cute, walking along the South Beach oceanside at night.

Pete had been in the SNL studio all day when the pictures were released, while you were in his apartment, trying your best to focus on the photoset in front of you. The production team wanted the film to scream “teen romance,” which basically entails subtle pink undertones and a higher saturation. But you couldn’t quite get the coloring right, probably because you weren’t actually focusing on the colors.

You sighed, looking at the time and realizing that Pete won’t be back until sometime after 2am, which was a whole 5 hours away. You let out a huff, pushing away from the desk and making your way to Pete’s closet and searching for one of his hoodies. They always smelled like him (and weed), so it was a comfort to you.

You crashed onto the bed, finding the phone that you had tossed there a few hours earlier. Turning it on you were surprised by the number of notifications you were getting. You knew the photos had surfaced but you weren’t expecting this.

Your Instagram was blowing up with new follows, likes, and comments. It was kind of exciting at first until you started reading some of the comments.

I mean, we knew he would downgrade from Ari, but this is like… really far down.

This girl really thinks she’s special just bc Pete’s dating her. Hun he could do so much better

Who is she?!? Literally no one.

Someone needs to show her how to dress

That hairstyle is not it honey

Pete Davidson is dating YOU??? He could do sooo much better

Ari was prettier sorry not sorry

The entire comment section on your last post, a picture of you on the set of your latest film, was pretty much the same. There were some nice comments, but a lot of mean ones.

And you couldn’t help it, you couldn’t stop looking at them. It felt so cliché, but it was like all of your deepest insecurities about being with Pete were thrown out on the table.

You knew that Pete had a fairly large following, and that a lot of people had really strong feelings about him. You had expected that if and when your relationship went public you would have a lot of people watching you, scrutinizing you. But you didn’t care because Pete was worth it.

Now you weren’t so sure. It wasn’t that you couldn’t handle people talking bad about you, because you definitely could, even if it hurt. You just weren’t expecting the amount of people comparing you to Ariana or saying that Pete could do so much better.

And it only bothered you so much because you felt it too. Your inner demons loved to remind you that Pete had dated Ariana fucking Grande and now he’s dating you. Anyone could see an obvious downgrade.

You turned your phone off and threw it on the opposite side of the bed, trying to think positive thoughts. “I am in control of my own thoughts and emotions. I am catching my negative thoughts and fixing them.” You murmured your therapist’s mantra to yourself, but it was too late. The thoughts had already taken hold of your mind.

Your eyes started to water as you could feel the heavy feeling in your chest set in. You pulled the hood over your head, pulling the straps to hide as much of your face as possible, and pulling your knees to your chest. You laid like that for a while, tears falling as doubts ran through your head. Once you had effectively exhausted your thoughts, you went numb. Your tears had stopped, but you couldn’t move. This wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, but it sure wasn’t pleasurable.

There was a sort of buzzing throughout your body, almost like the feeling when your foot falls asleep, but everywhere. It seemed to block out your sound, as you didn’t hear the basement door open. You only knew that Pete was home when he sat beside you on the bed, pulling the hood off your face.

“There’s my beautiful girl.” He smiled at you. You tried your best to fake one back, but you honestly couldn’t find the energy. Pete pulled you so you were sitting up, back pressed against his front. His arms wrapped around your middle as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “What’s goin on?” He murmured against your skin.

“Did you see them?” You asked, your voice quiet and hoarse.

Pete let out a sigh, “Yeah, I saw them.” He paused, his hold on you getting tighter, like he was making sure you couldn’t leave. “I’m sorry baby. I know you didn’t want it to be a whole big thing.”

You turned your head to face him, “It’s not that. I really don’t mind that people know. We weren’t trying to hide anything.”

He smiled, “Yeah, I know I just- it was nice having this to ourselves.”

He wanted to hide you. He’s embarrassed of you.

Your inner dialogue never seemed to shut up.

You turned away from Pete, trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes. “Yeah.” You whispered.

“What’s wrong, you’re still upset.” He rocked you in his arms, kissing the top of your head. You shrugged in response, not trusting yourself to talk. “You can talk to me, y’know.”

You nodded, leaning further into Pete’s chest. “People found my Instagram.” You murmured, looking down and tracing the arrow tattoo on his hand.

“Whaddya mean? I thought it was public?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

You sighed, wishing you hadn’t said anything. “Yeah, it is. But after all the articles people started following me and shit.”

“I would ask how that’s a problem but I deleted my Instagram so I can’t really talk.” You could tell he was trying to make you feel better, but you couldn’t seem to get out of your haze.

You shook your head, deciding to drop the matter. “It’s not, I’m just being overdramatic.” You sighed, putting on a fake smile and facing him fully. “Wanna watch a movie?” You asked, trying to change the topic.

He gave you the I-know-you’re-bullshitting-me look, which made you look down. “Something’s bothering you, Y/N. And you’re trying to pretend it doesn’t because you think your feelings aren’t valid, but they are.” He tilted his head, trying to meet your eyes that were still trained on the bedsheets below you.

“Where’d you learn that one?” You chuckled half-heartedly.

“Rehab part 2” he smiled, hand coming to your jaw to tilt your head up. “C’mon, talk to me. I wanna help.”

You huffed, moving towards the opposite side of the bed where your phone laid. You opened it, finding your Instagram, and showing him the comments. His eyebrows furrowed as he scrolled through the comments. When he decided he’d had enough he put your phone down, grabbing your waist and lifting you onto his lap so you were essentially straddling him.

He leaned his forehead against your own, your noses touching. “That’s all bullshit, you know that, right?”

You looked down, biting your lip. “Y/N you’re the most amazing, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, okay? I’m in love with you, not anyone else.” Pete’s eyes were searching yours, trying to figure out what was going on in your head.

“I know.” You sighed, “It’s just hard to be with you and not compare myself to her. And then all these people started to do it too, and they kept saying that you could do so much better and you can. So, I dunno I guess I just kind of spiraled.”

Pete captured your lips in a long, passionate kiss. “Y/N. There is literally no better than you. I can’t do better because you are the best woman I have ever loved. “

You pulled Pete in for another kiss. “Thank you, Pete. I love you.”

“I love you too. If this happens again, I want you to call me. I don’t care what I’m doing, I’d drop it all for you.” You smiled, sitting in the arms of the guy you loved. The thoughts didn’t just magically go away, but for a brief moment in time, you were happy.

#pete davidson #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson angst #pete davidson fluff

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5sospenguinqueen · 3 years

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PULL ME BACK FROM THE DARKNESS ~ CATO HADLEY

PLOT: You and Cato fill in the missing pieces of each other.

Warning: smut, m/f, hints at PTSD and depression, slight breeding kink if you squint, slight size kink.

I am not responsible for what media you choose to consume. If you cannot handle the contents of this or are too young, please do not read. It is your responsibility, not mine.

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Wet strands of hair dripped down your back as your fingers nimbly worked at braiding them away from your face. Not yet fully dressed, you leant across the sink to gaze into the small mirror to see whether the top of the braid was flat. A click resonated throughout the room and you couldn't help the smile that sidled its way onto your face as the thudding of heavy footsteps filled your ears. The hulking figure of the man who had been your rock filled the doorway and you connected eyes with him through the mirror. Rough fingers replaced your hands as he smoothed out the tangles in your hair and expertly twisted the strands together. Once he was done, you couldn't help but admit that he had done a better job than you would have done yourself. Reminding you that he had younger sisters who he'd been forced to practice on, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head before stripping for his own shower.

Sinking your teeth into her lip, you heard him exclaim in shock when the water came out cold instead of the usual lukewarm. Guilt made its appearance once more when you realised you had used up the hot water for the day. Plopping down onto the mattress, you closed in on herself as the memories that had plagued you all day took their toll on you. For so long you had been fighting – fighting for survival, fighting other children, fighting your own mind. Whilst your hands were no longer covered in blood, they would never be cleansed of the innocent lives you had taken.

Pulled from your thoughts as a bare chest entered your view, you bit her lip at the towel slung around his hips. How it didn't drop any lower was beyond you but you found herself almost willing it to slide down. Leaning into his touch as he placed his hand on the side of your face, you looked up at him through your lashes.

"Rough day, baby?"

You remained silent, relishing in his strength for a moment or two. All you wanted was to lie down and wait for the fight to pass. To wait for the moment when her mind would fall blank and the memories would cease to exist. Eyes connecting with Cato's, you realised you had disappeared inside your own head once again. Concern was written across his face until you reassured him that you were present in the room and not back in the arena. Both of you had spent too long plagued by the chaos that had followed you out of the arena. Thankfully, one of you was always there to be the tether to reality. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop Cato from looking at her as if she was one crack away from irreparable.

"Stop," she demanded. "I'm not weak enough to crumble from one bad day. I’ll get through it, just like I get through the rest.”

"Sweetheart, I never meant-."

"No, I know exactly what you meant. The next Games are fast approaching and my nightmares are coming on faster and darker but so are yours. Snow didn't break me. I'm not some fragile little doll that needs to be hidden away whilst the pieces are glued back together again. I am perfectly mentally capable of mentoring the next lot of tributes without having a breakdown.”

"Indie, this isn't about me thinking you're not strong enough, this is about me not being strong enough! How can I look at these small children and send them to their death. I've already had to deal with losing them before."

Falling to his knees, Cato buried his head in your lap and allowed the tears to fall. Whispering soothing words, you ran your fingers through his blond strands. Teardrops slid down your own cheeks as you watched the strongest person in your life fall apart. Cato had been there for you since the moment you had been reunited after your were rescued from the arena after cutting down all those in your way. He had been there to catch you every time you stumbled. Watching him feeling so hopeless shook you and although you felt like curling up next to him and giving in, you knew it was your time to be there for him.

"Listen to me, we've made it through death and we've made it through separation. Baby, I am just as scared as you but I know that we're going to get through this together. We haven't made it this far just to lose now. You and me, together, Cato. Forever."

"You don't deserve this." Cato sniffled, brushing away his own tears. "You've been through so much, lost so much, I'm supposed to be there for you."

"Cato, I'm your partner, it's my duty to be there for you. We fight together or we don't fight at all. Don't forget that we're from Career Districts. We're always strong and we never lose. We will not allow these next Games to strip away the strength that we have left."

"Well maybe, for one night, we reward ourselves with the luxury of being weak. Just tonight, let's forget about this stupid war and just wallow in our pity. Please?"

And maybe it was the broken look on his face, the sadness swirling in the sky blue eyes, or the fact that forgetting about the future Games was all you wanted to do, you granted him the only thing he had ever asked of you. Snuggling into his comforting (still bare) arms, you allowed yourself to cry about your own pain. The tears that fell weren't for the fallen and all they had left behind, they weren't for the deaths of the future children you were about to witness, these were purely for how mentally exhausted and rundown you felt. Soft lips kissed away your tears. One warm hand rested on the cool skin of your hip, having slithered its way under the thin shirt you slept in.

With a small inhale, you pressed your lips to his whilst your hands snaked their way into his hair. Salt mixed with the taste of his tongue but you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer. A rumble echoed in his chest as his length pressed against you and he straightened, yanking you up with him. Spinning you around, Cato backed you up until you hit the wall with a bump. As his lips trailed down to your neck, you rested your head against the wall, back arching when Cato sucked on the sweet spot just below your ear.

"I love you," his lips traced the words down to the valley between your breasts before he wrenched the top over your head and threw it behind him.

Left hand reaching up to palm at your breast, his mouth wrapped around the nipple on the other one, tongue flickering over the hardened bud. Your breath hitched and you used your foot to deftly push the towel down and finally reveal what had been hidden from you. Exclaiming in shock, you scowled when Cato chuckled against you. When you reached down to grasp him, he gently bit your nipple but the action forced your hips against his and with one roll, he brushed against your clothed clit.

"Off," you begged, lifting your hips slightly away from the wall so that Cato could slide them down your shaky legs.

Fingers dancing along your legs, he reached down to cup your heat and one finger slid between your wet walls.

"I will never get sick of this," he groaned, watching as you bit your lip in pleasure.

Thumb rubbing your clit, he added another finger, watching as they plunged in and out of your slick heat. His name tumbled off your lips as your pleasure increased and Cato knew that that would be his favourite sound. If there was one sound that could banish the nightmares and dispel the darkness, it would be you crying his name as you tumbled over the edge, coating his fingers. Panting slightly, you pushed him away, revelling in the confused look on his face.

As you sunk to her knees, lust clouded his blue eyes until they were as dark as the sea in District Four on a stormy day. Hand wrapping around the base, you smirked as he hissed when your tongue licked a stripe from balls to tip. Mouth wrapping around his tip, you moved down ever so slightly before pulling back up. Hollowing your cheeks out, you sucked gently on his tip and was rewarded with a throaty groan as Cato bucked his hips, pushing his cock deeper into your mouth.

"So good to me, baby." Cato cursed, hand resting on your head as he pushed you down a little more.

Humming around him, you gagged when he jerked slightly and his dick hit the back of your throat. One hand gently fondled his balls and Cato swore before pulling himself away from you.

"As much as I love your mouth wrapped around me, I'd rather put my cock somewhere else."

Shivers skittered down your spine as his husky words were whispered in your ear and you found yourself being pulled of your knees before you were shoved against the wall face first. Large hands gripped your hips hard enough to bruise and you smiled knowing Cato remembered just how you liked it.

"Always so tight for me," he grunted as he slid into you.

Cheek pressed against the cold concrete wall, you whimpered as your walls adjusted to the girth of him. Teasingly, he slowly entered inch by inch until his impatient girl backed up and enveloped the entirety of him in one quick movement. One hand braced on the wall, small grunts escaped his mouth as h thrust gently into you. Lips pressing a gentle kiss to the scarred back of his hand, you rested your head against his hand in a loving gesture. A primal instinct ignited in Cato at the sight of his partner so small and vulnerable, as you let down your guard and opened yourself up to him both emotionally and physically. The woman beneath him was always so strong and fierce that he couldn't help the dark chuckle that escaped as his body encompassed yours entirely as he pressed you further into the wall.

"Such a good girl. Take me so well," he praised, enjoying the little pants that left your mouth and with a shift of his hips, he coaxed a scream from you.

Unable to help the moans that tumbled from your mouth, you reached down to grab the hand that gripped your hip and pulled you against his cock. Love swelled within him as you held on tightly to him, begging him to go faster as you pleaded for her impending orgasm.

"I love you," you cried as stars exploded across your vision and your walls clenched him tightly.

At the feel of your orgasm, Cato burrowed himself in deeper and pounded harder into your sensitive walls.

"So close, Princess." Cato gasped, his breath hitting the back of your neck as he leaned down to rest his chin on your shoulder. Pressing a kiss to the side of your neck, his movements quickened as he sought release.

"Cum in me," you begged.

Not one to deny the woman he loved, Cato called your name as he stuffed himself inside you, hot cum painting your walls. Sensitive to his touch, you leaned back into his chest as his arms came around your waist and pulled you in for a loving embrace. One hand wrested flat on your belly as he whispered promises of having their own family but in a world where the Hunger Games didn’t exist. Naked and wrapped around one another, you could pretend for just a moment that you were a normal couple whose only issues were what to eat for dinner and how many children you wanted. Whimpering as Cato pulled out of you, you watched him wander into the bathroom in search of a washcloth.

Hand resting on your own abdomen, you wondered whether you would have end up with child. And, for the first time in your life, you found herself hoping you would. Struck by the aching pang within you, you realised that the life you had built with Cato had made you realise just how badly you craved a perfect family with the man you loved. In a world where they grew up safe and never needing to learn the ways to kill another person.

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Loosely based on a scene from my Cato x OC story but details have been adapted to avoid spoilers. You can find the book Pugnator at;

Wattpad

Fanfiction.Net

#cato imagine #cato hadley #cato hadley imagine #cato smut #cato hadley smut #cato thg #thg cato #Hunger Games #hunger games imagine #hunger games smut #5sospenguinqueen

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itty-bitty-rampaging-committee · 3 years

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My Top 8 Best Acting Moments from Aidan Gallagher!

Thank You to Anonymous for Requesting

Analysis Below

>>Warning: This is a giant post, so don’t click “read more” unless you genuinely want to read more. Otherwise, you’ll be scrolling for a long-ass time. This analysis covers the acting, psychology, and writing genius of Five Hargreeves.<<

So, this may be the lowest on this list, but it is by no means his weakest acting scene. My god, this scene is incredible because of the accuracy given the age and, henceforth, the experience of the actor.

Acting is effective if the person is able to accurately tell a truth whilst in imaginary circumstances. In order to act powerfully, we are commonly taught to connect complicated emotional situations to something we know well and, therefore, can portray well.

For many, being drunk isn’t anything new. And being tipsy isn’t exactly uncommon to act out. But for a fourteen-year-old, this is awesome to see because it is incredibly accurate. And, given the character’s psychological/emotional status, it’s even more impressive.

Here’s why:

So, right off the bat, listening to Aidan’s speech is something awesome. His clear yet natural slurring, his guttural tone: these two things are perfect indications of intoxication, since volume control is practically gone and drunk people don’t think things through. They just talk, and talk, and stumble because their inhibitions are so low.

It’s can really be heard, best, when he says, “she said it makes me surly” and when Diego whips around, he says, “hmm?”

Another thing that makes this so fun to watch is the fact that Aidan is completely lax. Being carried is one sign of that, yes, but even his subtle movements are loose. He did his homework, not only for the vocalization of someone who is drunk, but also for their movements.

Look how loose his movements are. He just tosses his hand up, lets it drop back down, and his head is too heavy, flopping all around. Completely uncoordinated and smooth, which is a bright contrast to Five’s usual coordinated, sharp, and calculated movements. The character is relatively rigid, which makes sense given his psychology and traumas.

Speaking of traumas.

There is this beautiful, subtle self-soothing movement going on right here. It’s a clear comfort to him, and after the night he has had, and the trauma he has endured, it makes perfect sense for him to be clinging to her as such. Whether Aidan knew what he was doing with this, I can’t say, but what I can say was that it was a fantastic choice of action to follow through with.

KEY NOTES: Acting drunk is all about fluidity. You make yourself as liquid-y as possible. Become one with the water, though not in an elegant way. Rather, become the cup that’s just tipped over. Water is spilling over the side, getting everywhere, aimlessly spreading across the tabletop. It’s a mess, it has no direction nor stability, etc.

Aidan follows through with this beautifully. I could gush about this all day, just as I could with so much of his acting. Acting drunk is hard, even for some adults. Luckily, he has it on his side that Five is so completely opposite of what we see here, that him being so flimsy and giggly is strange as shit.

Additionally, if you’re ever needing to act drunk, do the opposite of your character, given the script allows it. If the character is normally very carefree and lighthearted, become the depressed, crying drunk, or the angry drunk. Or, like Aidan, if your character is normally rigid, become a giggling mess that can’t take shit seriously.

On to the next, where it’s more about the psychology of a character rather than the physical acting of the actor...

This scene. This was the moment that made me realize just how much I adored Five when he’s absolutely batshit. Unlike most of this list, where internal conflict and monologue drives for an impressive performance, in this case, it is the external conflict and monologue that makes this scene fantastic!

Here’s why:

It is an absolute rollercoaster of emotions for Five Hargreeves.

Seriously, this guy is leaping from emotion to emotion, bouncing between frustration to borderline panic to bitter glee to mania to relief. You can practically see the gears turning in Aidan’s head throughout the entire scene as he throws Five through the ringer.

So, from the top, we’re given this glorious moment, both a genius writing move and fantastically acted.

The vending machine.

I know a lot of people are like, “hell yeah” because Aidan gets to say “fuck”, or because he’s just off the shits. There are many reasons to love this scene. But I especially love this scene because it’s really introducing to the audience exactly what’s going to happen: intensity, violence, and Five snapping, losing his cool in a lapse of fear and frustration and desperation. And it’s beautifully encapsulated in this one fucking scene.

Aidan’s acting here might seem easy, and in a sense, it is. It’s easy to ram your shoulder against a vending machine and shake it and get mad. But what isn’t easy is knowing why you’re doing this, and feeling it. Just from observation and process of elimination, Aidan’s likely mostly a method-based actor. He bases his acting, and his characters, in his own reality. That means that, if Five is panicked, Aidan will force panic upon himself. He’ll induce an emotion physically to get a psychological and emotional reaction.

And here, it’s clear that whatever he was thinking out, however he had prepped for this scene, was working. Because you can freeze these frames and, sure, see funny faces. But you’ll also see flashes of fear, of desperation, of panic, of anger. Fear and panic because he may fail his siblings, he may not be able to save them. Desperation because he needs this to work, he is going to murder all these people and so he needs it to work. And anger because the Handler is making him do this again; he’s right under her thumb once more.

All of these emotions, every damn one, is played out in this one. fucking. scene. And that’s insane.

Those emotions come to a head here:

Aidan’s deep, stabilizing breath grounds Five. He has gotten his rage and desperation and fear out. Now, there’s only one thing for Five to do: murder the Board. And it’s an instant click here.

There’s the deep breath. The understanding. The resignation to what needs to be done.

Then a head turn.

Then boom. Look carefully. You can see the light drain from his eyes, see the hesitation bleed out right there. Right there. All within a breath, head turn, a beat, then a face forward.

That is some intense grasp on your physicality, your emotions, and your portrayal of those emotions. Aidan’s always been fantastic at emoting, but subtle scenes like this just prove his class in it. It’s incredible to see.

And then this scene:

This shit is actually an amazing move on Aidan’s part. It holds both literal and metaphorical weight: he sighs, from exhaustion, because Five is fucking tired after jumping that much, expending that much energy in a short amount of time, and narrowly letting his target escape. But it’s also showing a mental exhaustion, a wearing of the mind on the body. He sighs from relief, but it’s ironic, because the fight is far from over.

And you can see that.

Notice how Aidan may be sighing - sighing with his whole body - but the exhaustion is still in his eyes, his brow is still furrowed. There is no relief there, because there isn’t any relief for Five in this moment. His mission has been accomplished, but he has to deal with the Handler, with the aftermath, with the repercussions of his selfish actions to save his family.

And you can see it all in this movement.

KEY NOTES: When acting out internal conflict, be subtle. Obvious movements are made for obvious, external conflicts. A person who punches first in a bar fight as an obvious external conflict. But, like shown here, a person who is breaking from the inside out will have external action, but also internal emotion that comes out in the most subtle of ways, whether it be through expression, through contradicting action (the sigh, but no visible relief), etc.

More often than not, in the arts, less is more. However, you first need to understand the more to be able to do the less. So analyze the scene, analyze the character, understand it fully, and feel it truthfully.

Onto the next!

This scene is quick but beautiful.

I love the entire apocalypse scene, and I’m sure you do as well. But this one moment right here. This moment where he sees Klaus and backs away? Fucking beautiful.

Let’s just zoom in, shall we?

Yes, a lovely grainy gif. But God it shows everything you need it to. This scene is a fucking gutpunch, and here’s why:

You can see every flicker of emotion, every transition. It’s in the way his mouth eventually closes, the way he backs up, slowly. It’s so fucking evident that Five is heartbroken, and you can see the thoughts going through his head. The realization that this is Klaus, that his siblings are dead, that he is alone in this apocalypse and his family is dead. The tears in his eyes...

God, bro. It hits so good.

Not being able to use dialogue can sometimes be difficult, because the actor doesn’t have a key part of their craft with them: words. Being able to emote, to shift from emotion to emotion so seamlessly with just a meager movement of the jaw while backing away. It’s incredible.

That’s literally all this is about. I chose this as my number six because it is so powerful within only a hundred-or-so frames. Having an actor be able to emote to clearly with just facial expression...

Shit, bro. Shit. It’s fantastic.

Like I said, the rest of this scene is amazing, and him finding his other siblings is intense, but this look right here is just...unparalleled.

KEY NOTES: Feel that shit. If you can’t feel it, craft a narrative to make yourself feel it. Again, acting is always about believing and living truthfully in imaginary circumstances, and sometimes it’s difficult to express emotions and feelings as is, let alone without dialogue. To help that, think of something.

For example, in this scene, if I were Aidan, I would think about the fact that these people I love are dead, the world as I know it is destroyed. Sure, I may not know that literal feeling, but I do understand the feeling of hopelessness, of feeling so utterly alone. Make it so that you’re able to live truthfully, however you need to do that. People usually don’t have completely empty heads; they’re thinking of things, of many things, often. So think about those things in-scene and in-character, and feel it.

Additionally, this is going back to the less is more. Aidan barely moves, here. His expression is relatively static but that slow back away, that hardening of his jaw, those things are gentle shifts that drastically change the way Five is in the scene. He goes from shocked, slack-jawed and glassy-eyed, to feeling cold realization as he closes his mouth and backs away, the understanding dawning upon him.

I could gush about this for decades...

Next!

This whole barn scene is just...gold as fuck. But this scene in particular, with the interwoven flashbacks of Five’s siblings, his father, his instances with time travel. The realizations that cross his face are beautiful, which in turn, makes this scene fantastic.

Get ready for some awkwardly close close-ups, because I’m about to explain some really cool shit as to how Aidan’s using facial expressions to navigate pain, realization, fear, surprise, etc.

So here’s why:

FEELING THE FEELINGS.

That’s how. A lot of what makes this scene powerful from an acting perspective is because Aidan completely suspends himself in disbelief. There are a lot of surprises that come to Five in this moment, and Aidan feels them all. And he feels them powerfully. He feels the shock around the pain of being shot, on top of it.

So to kick it off! Here:

Aidan’s living in this moment. He’s living in the anger of the Handler, thinking he’s going to die right here. His siblings have just been murdered again, by this bitch. And the audience is able to live in that with him. His eyes harden. His jaw sets. He’s breathing tight around the pain, infuriated, either shaking from the agony or the hatred or both.

Five is so caught up in that moment, and Aidan suspends himself in that moment so clearly, that the next moment is powerful as shit.

The Handler gets shot.

She gets turned to swiss-fucking-cheese right in front of him, and the way Aidan lets Five live in every second is beautiful. He goes from shocked, to confused, to going, “oh shit, that looks painful”. And it’s muted by his pain. Aidan doesn’t need to move much, he doesn’t need to make a grandiose gesture. It’s wide eyes, it’s knitted eyebrows, it’s swallowing around the blood and letting Five be in this moment.

And then Five realizes - Aidan lets Five realize - that the Swede has taken the Handler’s place. That he’s going to die all over again.

There is that anger again. That pure fucking spite. It’s the look of a man who would murder someone if he could sit up. His jaw sets from before, where it was slack with surprise and sympathetic pain. Look how sharp his eyes are. Boy is fucking pissed and it’s beautiful.

Let’s hop back! Back to movement!

Aidan’s squirming around here?

Realistic as shit. Five’s just been shot. That’s absolute agony. And there’s blood coming down the side of his mouth, which means his lungs have somehow been hurt. He can’t talk, breathing must suck, and so of course he’s writhing on the ground.

And this?

Is Five clenching his hands from pain? Is he trying to blink? What’s going on here? I don’t know, maybe Aidan does, but either way, both motivations are powerful. Five may be trying to blink away. He may be trying to tap into his powers instinctively. Or maybe he’s squirming in pain, clenching and unclenching his fists. And that shit punches. It’s so subtle, but so good, keeping the audience in the moment. No matter where you look on his body, whether his hands, his face, his chest - it all shows the agony he’s in, the desperation he’s swimming in.

Which then leads to the coolest fucking moment:

Look at how his eyes shift, only just so. His brows furrow only slightly. He’s realizing what’s going on, what he can do to save his family. Aidan played this perfectly. Again, less is more. These subtle movements make so much sense, because Five has been shot, he’s losing blood fast, and it’s dulling his movements and senses.

And when Five begins turning back the seconds?

The pain, the shock, the “holy shit this is working???” My god, you can see him choking on the blood and around the agony. You can see his hesitation, his being startled by his own powers, by what he is capable of. The rapid blinking, the jumping eyebrows, the gasping for air as the bullets likely begin ripping out of him.

KEY NOTES: Subtle subtle subtle. Live in that moment. Suspend your disbelief. Here, in this scene, there are several key shifts. These shifts are supposed to be a massive surprise to Five. And because Aidan is king at staying in the moment, and letting that moment live in him, he is able to display these shifts perfectly.

1st Shift - Realizing he is alive, and his siblings are dead.

2nd Shift - The Handler getting shot.

3rd Shift - Axel moving to kill him.

4th Shift - The realization of his father’s words.

5th Shift - Holy shit time travel is working.

All of them need to have a shift in-scene/with the tone. Aidan shifts this with pure expression. He doesn’t need to utter a single word because he is able to live in that moment and truly let himself be shocked, scared, desperate, angry, etc. So, in order to do this, live in the moment.

Some people say knowing exactly what will happen helps, because you’re able to time your expressions perfectly. Others say that knowing nothing helps, because you’re literally letting yourself be surprised. This truly depends on the actor, and their style. Aidan has expressed that he waits to read his lines until he’s there, on set, because then it’ll be more of a shock to him. That works really well for him (clearly) but it may not work for you, so test that out how you’d like.

Onto the next!

This.

Shit.

Is so good.

The moment when Five meets with Dolores again after god knows how much time while he was at the Commission-- It’s beautiful. And again, being the king of the subtle, Aidan can display the perfect mix of emotions that are occurring in this scene.

Here’s what’s up:

As many people may have noticed, a lot of these fantastic, key moments for me, in particular, are special due to subtlety. And subtlety is seen in the micro-expressions displayed through the face, mainly. Specifically, the eyes. Aidan’s ability to act solely through his eyes is something I’m going to focus on for this scene in particular.

These are his eyes the moment he sees Dolores again. And what’s really, really fucking cool is that Aidan is completely living in this scene. It shows in his eyes: real compassion, real love, real care. Sure, Aidan may not care about the mannequin in front of him, but he is thinking about something, whether that’s Five’s ties to Dolores, or someone in his life that he truly feels fond over.

You can see it.

His eyes soften significantly as the gif continues, and you can even see the corners of his eyes upturn after he says, “Dolores”. There is real love here. The actor is able to portray true love through just the eyes. And that’s insane. Many actors express love through physical action because they may not be actually feeling it. They’ll say, “I love you” but express flatly, with dull eyes and a forced smile.

But here. No, not that shit. This shit has Aidan feeling everything. And it makes a big difference, makes everything feel so much more genuine. Good acting is through the eyes, not the words. Dialogue enhances the story, but being genuine, and selling that story as “reality”, is done by the actor, through the eyes, the subtle expressions, the minimal gestures and movements.

Let’s look at some more eyes?

Now, I fucking hate looking at eyes. But with Aidan - like with many good actors - I find them fascinating to watch. Because if an actor is feeling it, is living in the moment, they will express fantastically through their eyes. Most human communication is body language/unspoken, and I’m willing to bet a good chunk of that is through the eyes alone.

You can see Five thinking in that second gif, his eyes flicking left, left further, deep in thought for just a second. That is the thing you should be envisioning when authors say, “they could practice see the wheels turning in their head”.

In that first gif, Aidan’s compassion and softness, his quiet eyes, are contrasted by the sharp roll following the “obviously”, which makes the love being expressed to Dolores only that much stronger. It enhances the moment. See, because being too subtle the entire time makes it so the audiences don’t pick up much at all, they don’t feel it. And being too obvious makes you an amateur, makes it comical, almost.

When you’re strong in your craft, you’re able to make every single move in the most calculated of manners, but you make it seem effortless, make it seem natural. That’s incredible shit.

I’m by no means saying Aidan is perfect. He definitely isn’t. But, scenes like this showcase his experience in the field.

KEY NOTES:

Piggybacking off the subtlety discussed earlier, practice living in the moment. There is no real way to practice “being subtle” because it manifests naturally when the actor is living in the moment. Hence why this scene is so high on my list.

So learn to equate the emotions of your characters to your life. Tie your character’s life into yourself, somehow, all while keeping a safe distance. It’s by no means easy, and it takes years to learn how to do that, how to express naturally and not force a single thing. Being vulnerable, and raw, and flawed like that is hard, since so many people are taught that flaws are shameful, that perfection is required for success. But acting, like much of the arts, require you to unravel that believe and be truly vulnerable, exposed to possibly millions of viewers.

So learn to live in the moment. That will shield you all whilst letting you live freely as the character and, therefore, express truthfully and subtly.

Next!

Remember my rant about subtlety?

Yeah, fuck that, because with this, we’re going to talk about going off the rails. But, going off the rails in a tasteful manner. The paradox psychosis scenes were a beautiful contrast to a normally stiff, calculated character. it was satisfying, and entertaining, and so fucking powerful when breaking down the psychology of Five.

So let’s hop into that:

Psychology is everything to a character, because it is everything to humanity, and people as a whole. Every decision made is dictated by psychology, by experiences and how those are compartmentalized and processed in the brain. An action isn’t done without it meaning something to the person.

And the same goes for every character made.

If you are a writer, you need to understand the actions and reactions of your characters based on their experiences and their psychology. If you just...write random shit because you want to, or because it seems funny or creepy, it may be good, but it won’t line up psychologically and it’ll show. It’ll be obvious to those of us that study this day-in-day-out.

The same goes for acting and actors.

An actor will be much more powerful in their role if they can understand their character’s psychology. The amount of empathy going into this is intense, especially for those playing “villains” or antagonists - those with flimsy morals - because you need to be able to break down, understand, and agree with the psychology of your character. It’ll make them so much more realistic and powerful.

That is why seeing Five - a normally calculated, sharp, careful character - off the shits is the best thing ever. And it’s in-character, too! He’s learned over the years that independence is the key to survival, that thought (as opposed to action, or outbursts) yields better results.

Yet here, in the scene, Five is relying upon Luther’s help. He’s trusting his brother. He’s acting irrationally. He’s skittish. And it’s such a beautiful contrast. Admittedly, this scene is more about the writing than Aidan’s acting, but it is still fantastically acted, and that only adds more to the realism, to the intensity, to the fact that it is so not Five to do this, and yet, it is very much so Five.

That! Is because of body language.

We know it is Five, that it is in-character, because it still follows Five’s normal body language, his gestures, his manic buzzing around despite his words sounding paranoid, despite his actions being rash. I’ve already spent a lot of time on this number already, so I’ll just demonstrate with a specific scene:

He’s pensive as hell right here. Shoulders tense, shifting back wards. He knows what’s going on, he’s as terrified as he allows himself to be (because he can’t stifle it, perhaps), and it’s so very Five while also being not Five at all.

Despite the music telling us it’s all gucci, it is not all gucci. Look at his eyes. They harden. They get dark. His demeanor completely shifts into caution. he swallows. Steels himself. This is the Five we know - a paranoid little shit - and yet, there is fear that is so uncharacteristic. All through Aidan’s beautiful acting. All through him understanding the psychology of Five perfectly. This is why it is required that you understand your character’s every move, every action, every line of dialogue, every thought.

So, this kind of shit throughout the entire paradox psychosis scene is just amazing. And it’s exactly for the reasons listed above. Aidan knows Five. Not only is he Five, but he knows Five. Inside and out. And god does it show.

KEY NOTES:

Know your character. Know them better than you know yourself. Deadass. Know them better thank you know yourself so that you can delve into the meat of their psychology and tweeze out exactly what you need to do in order to act them correctly.

Onto the next!

This gourmet shit.

Time to get uncomfortably close once again.

The jaw clench! The cheek tightening! The head tilt! The lips thinning! Look at that beautiful expression. See, acting, like writing, is all based on formula. Now, I’m going to out myself, but I’m autistic. Facial expressions, movements, twitches, etc. aren’t inherent to me, and understanding them and analysis them is a learned behavior.

Actors and writers, like me, need to understand the formula.

Clenched jaw + fidgeting + tightening lips = numerous things, ranging from frustration, to anger, to desperation, to pain.

But when you include the eyes.

The eyes tell it all.

Small, watering, tight at the corners, knitted brows. All of these, plus our formula above, create the perfect mix of frustration, desperation, pain, fear.

He is frustrated with the situation, with Vanya. He is desperate to get her to listen. He is in pain because he hates to do this to her, hates to have to fight her on this. And he is scared because what if he has to fight her?

Actors are usually conscious - at least at first - about these movements. They learn to have complete control of their bodies, their faces, down to the muscle. Or, they should. I can’t speak for Aidan, because I’m not him, clearly. But I can safely say that, if he doesn’t consciously have control of his body and understand exactly what’s going on, then he has some intense intuition about his emotions. He is able to perfectly display a mishmash of emotions, all perfect given the situation, the character, his experiences.

Aidan gives Five the multi-layering goodness that we analysis kids love because Five isn’t just upset. He isn’t just frustrated. He is frustrated on top of being scared, and agonized, and exhausted (you can see the weariness in his eyes; it’s all in the eyes).

KEY NOTES

I’m not sure if this would help, but try making a formula. If you are worried about your character not doing an emotion right, or wanting to do multiple emotions at once, craft a formula or a chart.

So, say you want depression and anger. A basic formula could look like this:

Depression = Hollow Eyes + Monotone Voice + Slumped Posture

Anger = Shaking + Sharp Eyes + Clenched Fists

Then, you can combine the two together. You can have hollowed eyes, and a monotone voice, but also sharpened corners to the eyes, and clenched fists. Here, Aidan is tapping into multiple things, things that have interwoven specifics to their formulas. That’s why it works so beautifully. His eyes scream agony, his jaw tightens with frustration, his eyebrow knit together with frustration--

Bless this kid and his acting.

Anyways, last but definitely not least, here is my final analysis:

Now, this scene may not seem like the most intense acting ever, but in reality - to me - this shit is insanely powerful. It’s not just the acting going into work here; it’s the blocking, the dialogue, the pacing, the atmosphere, the emotional environment, the music and sound engineering...

It’s a fucking cinematic masterpiece.

But, since I am here to talk about just acting, and just Aidan’s acting, let me tell you about how this scene is made so good. There are two reasons:

One, is that Aidan is a master at post traumatic stress disorder and PTSD psychological processes and how that comes out in action, reaction, dialogue delivery, etc.

And two, he acts like a grown-ass old man.

Let’s talk about the second one first, because why not:

(apologies ahead of time for fucked gifs, this scene is impossible)

This scene. It’s just a drink. Chill, whatever, right?

Wrong.

It’s the way he moves. The way he drinks. The way he holds himself when he is around Reginald, another man his age. Around another man his age that had abused him, had done him wrong, but in Five’s eyes, some whom he had done wrong, too.

Luther is the sibling that is always said to be in denial about their father’s wrongdoings, but a lot of people neglect the fact that Five is, too. He is just as much in denial as Luther, if not more so by the time season two wraps up.

And it shows.

It shows in the way he moves as if they were equals, when they are so clearly not. He tils his head, gives acknowledgement in the way old men do. The generational gap is closed by Aidan’s movements, not by his words. It’s incredibly satisfying to see Five’s psychology bleeding through as he instinctively shifts from “I’m dealing with a bunch of kids” to “I’m alongside a man my age, my father”.

And speaking of psychology, let’s please talk about PTSD.

Specifically, subtle show not tell of PTSD, all through the eyes.

Right. Here.

Look, I’m not going to lie, if I analyze this scene, it’ll be the same things you’ve heard before. Everything I gushed about earlier is going to be repeated here for the ultimate finale on this long-ass fucking post.

But, humor me.

Five’s got trauma. Bitch has trauma for days. Though, he doesn’t wear it. He hides it, he buries it, because it is useless to him. Yet, it will always be there. His trauma of abandonment, and survival in the apocalypse, on top of the abuse from his father, the stress of his childhood, and topped off with the murder he had to shoulder for the sake of the Commission. Rarely does this show. Rarely is it seen.

Save for scene likes this. Right. Fucking. Here.

Aidan knows Five. And he knows the traumas Five’s endured.

Five can’t look at his father as he admits his failures, the snide, “I told you so” ringing through his head. He has to acknowledge that his father was right, that he was right all along. This is a burden Five has carried for decades, as seen with his discussion with Diego in 2x02. It’s not something small for him. So, to admit that...

The stare says it all.

His eyes are glazed over, lost in the past. He isn’t looking at Reggie, is looking past him. This is the thousand-yard stare you always read about. These are the eyes of agony, and regret, and a flashback. His eyes flick, flick to the side, towards the camera, as Five remembers something. Aidan knows how to play this. He knows how to play this trauma of remembering, of remembering what he had done to his siblings and how he has failed. And, finally, he is able to look and Reginald but he is choking back something. He swallows thickly, as if it’s almost sickening to do so.

Aidan’s understanding of Five, and his trauma and psychology, and expressing it all through his body language, and expression, and eyes. God, it’s fucking mesmerizing.

SO TO WRAP IT UP

Everything here is purely my opinion, but if I were to leave you with anything, acting (and writing) comes down to three basic things:

--Understanding the psychology of your character, through-and-through.

--Understanding your body, your expressions, your eyes, and how you react and can react to specific emotions.

--Living in the moment, and being present in the character’s life, being truthful to them over yourself.

These are the things that Aidan excels at. God, he is amazing at it. And I appreciate the hell out of it any time I see him. He is so truthful to Five, so honest to the character, that it’s beautiful to watch. Five is so flawed, so hurt, and so complex, and Aidan isn’t afraid to show us this vulnerability. I suppose that should be one last thing that all writers and actors and anyone in the arts should strive for:

--Vulnerability, pain, fear, and raw, oftentimes shielded emotions are not something to hide but, rather, are your greatest strength.

#aidan gallagher #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #number five #five hargreeves #five #acting analysis

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tamakiamajikistentacles · 3 years

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Bad Days {Katsuki Bakugo}

A/N: Its been a minute and I apologize for that, and I hope this piece explains a bit more why. Due to the sensitive subject matter (depression/lack of support) I will not be adding my usual author’s note at the beginning and end of this post.

The curtains were drawn to keep the bright sunlight at bay though the room itself was still fairly light. It was quiet as she laid curled on her side, left hand splayed against the blue jersey sheets. Every so often she would curl her fingers slightly to drag the tips against the soft fabric.

It wasn’t like she wanted to lay in bed all day with a soundtrack of silence on loop in the apartment. She wished she could find the energy to get out of bed and do something. A shower, making instant ramen, checking her phone—anything.

But the invisible weight settled around her was simply too heavy to get out from under.

She’d always thought these sort of days would get easier after dealing with them for so long but they hit just as hard if not harder every time. There were triggers, sure, that she could foresee and prepare as best she could though it wasn’t always enough. A lack of support didn’t help either.

As if the universe had heard this musing the apartment door opened and shut, the thudding of her boyfriend’s approaching footsteps making her sigh.

The bedroom door opened but the silence unexpectedly stretched, and she used what little strength she felt she had to turn and look over her shoulder. Red eyes met her with a stare hard as stone.

“Hi,” she whispered, voice rough from disuse.

His lip curled into a sneer. “That’s all you’re gonna say to me after ignoring me for the entire damn day?”

“I wasn’t—“ she stopped and cleared her throat before trying again, “I wasn’t ignoring you. I don’t even know where my phone is.”

“It’s on the floor. I can see it from here.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Maybe if you got your ass out of bed you would’ve.”

She bit the inside of her cheek. “That’s not fair, Katsuki.”

“Neither is the fact that you stay in bed while I’m out every day being a hero!” he snapped. “This is the fourth time this week I’ve come over to see you just laying here!”

Her grip on the blankets tightened as her body tensed, her tired muscles sore from the effort but ready to defend herself against the tirade that was sure to come.

“Katsuki—”

“You can’t ‘Katsuki’ me when you look so pathetic!” he cut her off. “Bad days happen, whatever, but I swear to fuck that yours turn into bad weeks because you just wallow in it! You don’t get out of bed, you ignore your phone, you ignore me; you don’t even try to get yourself out of it.”

Tears were gathering in her eyes and her throat burned as a lump started to form.

She hated this. She hated that she felt he was right but knew he was wrong.

“That’s enough,” she said, voice wavering slightly. “I feel horrible enough right now without you making me feel worse. Everything you just said to me? I say it to myself every time I have a depressive episode like this and lay here feeling absolutely fucking useless! You’re not helping by telling me I’m a lazy piece of shit!”

“Well how the hell am I supposed to help you and know what you need if you don’t talk to me?” he shouted, throwing his hands out in frustration.

“So making me feel worse is your default instead of trying to fucking talk about what might be wrong? Real goddamn mature!” she snapped.

He crossed his arms, lips turning down into a scowl. He’d grown up in a lot of ways during his time at UA and to have it called out when he would revert back to his old habits was embarrassing.

“You knew from the beginning that I had depression and you said you could handle that,” she continued. “If you don’t want that, fine. Leave your key on the counter and take the one I have for your apartment off my keys. If you can’t support me, I can’t be with you.”

She stared at him tiredly, completely exhausted from finally drawing the line at his lack of support for her when she truly needed it. She had tried to talk to him about it but it didn’t accomplish anything—what was the point of talking now if he still refused to listen?

“I said I could handle it and I meant it!” he said, upset at her willingness to so easily throw away a years’ relationship. “I can handle it if you put in your effort to tell me how!”

“I HAVE!” she screamed, throat raw. “I’ve sat you down after an episode and told you that when I feel like this I need to be able to talk and to not be forced into some wild attempt at getting out of the house! I need someone to lean on and tell me how they’re here for me, not to be told I’m not pulling my weight in society because I can’t get out of bed. My… my mind tells me that enough, okay? And I know it’s not true but… shit, sometimes I need to hear it out loud.”

With a sigh she laid her head back down on her pillow and curled her arms below it. She hadn’t meant to argue so loudly and all at once. Her energy was drained and she could feel her eyes beginning to burn with potential tears. This wasn’t what she needed today.

A few silent moments went by before a quiet cough echoed throughout her bedroom.

“You need to know that you’re not lazy or useless or any of that shit.”

She turned back to see Katsuki still in the doorway with his hands in his pockets and avoiding eye contact. He looked awkward and uncomfortable, but the fact that he was still there and saying some of what she needed to hear spoke volumes.

“I shoulda listened before when you told me what you needed and I’m gonna do better. Just don’t get pissy if I ask you to repeat some shit okay?” he mumbled.

She smiled. “No promises but I can try.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, you’ll try, I’m sure.”

“You look like you had a rough day,” she said after a long pause. She shifted back in her bed to make room for him. “Spot’s open if you’re interested.”

“Had a rough day because I couldn’t get ahold of my girl plus some dumbasses tried to rob a jewelry store downtown while me, Riot, and Half’n’Half were on call,” he smirked, coming to slide into the bed next to her. “But you had a rough one too so its whatever.”

It wasn’t whatever, but she understood. Acknowledgment was a good step to the support she needed. The warmth of his arms around her beneath the covers didn’t exactly hurt either.

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aliendes · 4 years

Text

Natural Borns - Chapter Nine

Banner by @thebannershop

Series info/genre: Angst, fluff, smut (NSFW)

Pairings: ot7 x fem reader (eventual)

Warnings: cursing, vivid depiction of a panic attack do not read if this makes you uncomfortable, crying, blood, shitty medical descriptions (probably), depression, cursing, anxiety, forced medical practices? Restraints, mentions of unwanted sexual acts? I suppose just sadness, man. The next chapter is going to get pretty dark, and this one leads up to that, so beware.

Description: In the year 2613, over half of the world’s population are what scientists consider ‘designer babies’. YN is a small town girl who is a true natural born, someone born naturally without he help of a lab or gene splicing. Her DNA is greatly sought after, but what is she willing to do to protect it?

Word count: 7.1k~

A/N: Surprise!! Hi, I know this is early, but I had a productive week and felt inspired. I am so excited for like two chapters down the line, because there is a really sweet scene, that I can’t wait for you guys to read. Thank you for all the love, it means so much. Please like, reblog, comment so more people can see this series! I absolutely LOVE hearing from the readers of this series, and it is my favorite time of the week interacting with you, so please send me all the asks you want, I’m happy to answer questions about characters! You might learn a thing or two if you read those asks I answer ;) ALSO: I’m less than 50 followers away from 1,000... which is... insane. I’m going to do a drabble/ask maybe request thing once I reach 1,000 so stay tuned!

Jungkook’s eyes were panicked and Jin’s heart cracked at the sight, not remembering a time when Jungkook had been so passionate about something, the weight of his words settling in his own chest, “They took her.”

It’s dark and cold. Your eyelids are so heavy you don’t think you could open them if you tried. Your throat feels like the Sahara desert with how dry and scratchy it is, and your muscles feel like you attempted to run a marathon without stretching whatsoever. To put it simply, you feel like shit. But why?

The last thing you remember was sitting with Jungkook next to the small stream you found in the middle of the forest. Sharing your first kiss with him. The thought makes you smile mentally, taking your thoughts away from the searing pain you feel throughout your body. You’re not sure if you’re even awake right now, you can’t move any part of your body, nor can you open your eyelids. Were you in some sort of coma? No, there’s no way.

Did you fall asleep? That must be the case, right? Maybe you were so dehydrated and exhausted you passed out. Jungkook would take care of you, though, so you shouldn’t worry. But then again, why do you feel like you’ve been hit by eight trucks and thrown off an overpass?

Your body feels like lead, it’s so heavy, and you almost feel like you’re sinking. Your body is floating, you feel no hard surface beneath you, like you might if you were laying on the ground, but at the same time it’s like you're slowly falling through quicksand. It’s like you’re weightless, but entirely too heavy all at once. Nothing is really making sense to you right now, all you know is that you’re in pain, and you really, really want to wake up and ask Jungkook what’s going on. Is he okay? Are you okay? Your brain calls out to him, but nothing happens.

Your thoughts are cut short by a sudden sharp, shooting pain in your right arm. At least, you think it’s your right arm. You can’t be entirely sure, because it feels like your limbs aren’t quite attached to your body. You’re panicking, the pain is seeping through your veins, traveling to the rest of your floating limbs, connecting all your body parts together through a burning sensation that is one of the most unpleasant feelings you’ve ever experienced. You want to scream bloody murder, you want to open your eyes, you want to figure out what’s happening to you, but you can’t. You’re stuck in this dark abyss, unable to locate your mind or your body, unable to piece them together to become one being again.

The pain is duplicated on your left side now, the same acid like burning sensation traveling up the left side of your body. You’re starting to feel whole again, but at what cost? Your arms feel like jelly, yet you still can’t move them. They’re burning, like fire, it hurts so bad. If you could, you’d be crying out for help. For Jungkook. For Jin, for anyone to help you. You need help! Your brain is screaming out to anyone, but no one can hear you. You can’t even hear you, you can’t hear anything. You don’t even know if there is anyone around. Did Jungkook leave you? What did you do to deserve this kind of torture? For the first time in a couple of days, you think about Mina and Woo, how they would help you if they were here. You want your friends, Seokjin, Namjoon, anyone. Please…

Jungkook walked close by Jin, never straying from his side, clutching onto his hand tightly, as the seven of them traversed the forest. He hadn’t fully stopped crying since he woke up, tears blurring his vision as they travelled, thoughts of you swirling through his mind. All he could think about was you, the kiss you shared, the way you made him feel. He felt responsible for you, he was the reason you got separated from Jin in the first place, right? He took off without making sure the elder was with you. If he had just stayed, or maybe charged his stupid phone so Yoongi was able to track you, maybe you’d still be with him. There were so many things he could’ve done differently. I feel safe with you. Those words engulfed his mind. He didn’t deserve your trust, he let you down, and he would never forgive himself for it. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this low before, ever felt such a horrible pain of losing someone. He never knew his parents, never really had anyone besides Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, and Tae, so to finally have that with you, and to have it all ripped away in a few short days, was excruciating to him.

Once they realized they lost you, Namjoon urged them to push on, to make it to the outskirts of Seoul where they could come up with a plan. They hoped they still had Yeonjun on the inside, but they couldn’t be sure until Yoongi could get to a secure location to try and contact him. For all they knew, he could’ve given them away on purpose, though Namjoon liked to find the best in people, so he wasn’t completely sold on that idea. He was trying to keep a strong frame of mind for his group, he needed to be their pillar of support right now, make sure they were safe. But he was conflicted. Shouldn’t he have kept you safe, too? They accepted you as one of their own, told you that you could trust them, and now they’ve lost you. Namjoon felt horrible, like he should’ve been able to stop this, even though the logical side of his brain told him it was no one’s fault, really, except Big Hit’s. They were the only ones to blame in all of the unfortunate situations all of them have gone through.

While Jimin and Taehyung had yet to meet you, they could sense the pain the others were feeling. Even Hoseok’s demeanor had changed, and he barely knew you. He knew the people he loved most, loved you, he could feel it, and the fact that they were feeling pain, was bringing him down as well. Jungkook and Jin were enraptured by you, so there must be something special about you. What little time he spent with you told him that much. Would he ever get a chance to get to know you better? He hoped so. Even for the boys who weren’t close to you, they all understood the pain that you were probably in right now, and understood what you were about to be put through. Especially Taehyung. He just got back from the torturous experiments and shitty conditions they kept him in, and he hoped he would never have to return to them. The fact that you were experiencing the same, or similar things to what he had just gone through, was heartbreaking to him.

Once they were reunited, Taehyung clung to Hoseok and Jimin, looking to them for guidance and support, unsure of his feelings. He was so happy to be free of that place, but at what cost? Now they have you, an even rarer DNA makeup, he couldn’t imagine the things they would do to you. Sure, he didn’t know you, but he was an empath by nature, and was already feeling guilty over essentially switching places with you. His freedom for yours. It didn’t sit right with him, and so he was starting to slip, following Hoseok around like a lost puppy, a glazed look in his eyes.

Yoongi was trying to stay focused on getting to another safe house, or somewhere he would be able to potentially help you. He can’t believe the way he’s treated you since you’ve come to stay with them, and he’s been beating himself up about it since you all left the warehouse last night. He made you cry, he hurt you. You probably hated him, or at least thought he was cold, cruel even. He didn’t want you to remember him like that. Despite his often icy exterior, he didn’t like when people viewed him as cold-hearted, and he was pretty sure that’s how you saw him. He wanted to make sure he had the chance to redeem himself, to get to know you, actually know you. He was determined to get you back.

But no one was more determined, more distraught with your disappearance, than Seokjin. Not only had he spent the most time with you, and gotten to know you the best, but it was so much more than that. He could feel himself falling for you, for your shy exterior, but your deep faceted personality, your stunning features, and that adorable pout you wore when he was tending to your injuries. He was falling for you, much like he fell for the others. Maybe even harder, and he was not prepared to lose you without a fight. Aside from his strong feelings for you, he could see that Jungkook, his other half, was in just as deep, and that cut him to the core. They could have had something so special with you, with the others, that they haven’t experienced before, and you were ripped away from them. Just when he could tell Jungkook was starting to open up and blossom into the person he always hoped he’d become, you vanish into thin air. That hurt more than anything, the what if. What would happen if you were still here? Would your relationship bloom into something beautiful? Even if they get you back, which they will, Jin tells himself, you won't be the same. They all know what happens in that lab, and they couldn’t even begin to imagine how much worse it will be for you, their first female. Jin shudders at the thought, catching the attention of his companion who is clinging to the back of his t-shirt.

Jungkook looks up at his elder with wide doe eyes, still glassy from earlier events. When Jin looked down at him, the dam that he had been holding together with a string, burst. He stopped in his tracks, making Jungkook stop as well, looking panicked as he reached out to wrap his arms around Jin. They stood in the middle of the forest, clinging to each other tightly, silently mourning the loss of what could have been.

The others slowly started to realize what was happening, one by one, and all started to gather around Jungkook and Jin, no words spoken, emotions telling their story. First was Hoseok, placing a comforting hand on Jungkook’s back, and leaning his forehead against his shoulder. Next, was Jimin and Taehyung, each wrapping an arm around their maknae to support him as he sobbed. Then, Namjoon approached the eldest, wrapping him up in a tight back hug, placing gentle kisses against the back of his exposed neck. Last was Yoongi, he was hesitant to offer his comfort, because he didn’t feel like he deserved to comfort them, didn’t feel like he deserved any place in this with how awful he had been to you. But grief at watching his love's hearts break, eventually pushed him to move, reaching up to wipe Jin’s tears away gently, as his own started to fall.

You blinked your eyes slowly, once. Twice. Three times. You felt the haze of the Sandman try to pull you under once more, but resisted with all your might. Even though you had no grasp on how long you’ve actually been asleep, your aching body told you it’s been too long.

You let your eyes slip shut again, the appeal of unconsciousness dangling just within grasp. You almost let it take over you, but you persist, opening your eyes one more time, blinking tightly to try and remove any leftover sleep from them. When you finally manage to peel back your eyelids, all you see is white.

Furrowing your brow, you try and turn your head to your right, but your neck feels like you haven’t moved in it decades, cracking under the pressure of movement. You let out a soft whimper from the back of your throat at the pain, but it sounds more like a growl with how low and gravely your voice is. You don’t even recognize it to be you for a moment, still uncharacteristically sleepy.

When you finally manage to twist your head to the side, you’re just met with more white, and more confusion. You’re in what looks like a small doctor’s exam room, like the ones you would go to at your pediatrician’s office when you were a kid. Only this one was completely void of any color or those posters that tell you about puberty.

White walls, white tile floors, white ceiling, a white table and chair in the far corner, and a white door. No windows, no sink like you’d usually find in a doctor’s office. The room closer resembled a holding cell at a prison than anything else. You try to sit up, but your muscles resist, instead shooting a searing pain from your shoulder down to your lower back, making you yelp in surprise.

The pain made you feel more awake than you have since you opened your eyes, and for the first time, you really take in your surroundings, realization hits you. Where is Jungkook? Jin? Anyone? You sit up, ignoring the cracking of your bones, biting back the scream that wants to escape your throat at the feeling. You wince, trying to bring your hand up to rub at your face in any attempt to wake yourself up, you must be dreaming right? Only your wrist is snapped back to the bed, a loud metal clanking sound echoing off the walls. Your head snaps down, eyes widening at the sight of a leather cuff strapped to your wrist, connected by a chain to what you can assume is the slats of the metal bed frame you’re currently laying on.

Looking over at your other wrist, you notice it is restrained in a similar way. Panic is starting to set in, your mouth slightly agape in fear, eyes comically wide as you frantically search for a way out of here. Your breathing is labored, you can feel that black shadow of anxiety creeping up your spine, bleeding into your throat and traveling into your nose, making it hard to take a deep breath. You’re suffocating, pulling at your restraints, you can’t inhale at all, it’s like someone is holding a pillow over your face.

“H-help!” You try and scream, but it only comes out as a garbled cry with how little air you have in your lungs. Tears are streaming down your face as you start to thrash in the bed. This can’t be happening. They got you, they took you. Did they get Jungkook, too? What about the others? The thought is enough to send you into another spiral of panic, neck straining with the need to escape. They can’t be here, you led them away, right? But, that means they probably took Jungkook, too. Or worse.

Your chest is heaving, soft whimpers escaping your throat as you attempt to take in any air your body will allow, when the white door to your room is thrown open, bouncing off the wall adjacent to it. The panic doesn’t stop, however, when you see who walks through the door. You grit your teeth and squeeze your eyes shut, willing away whatever demons were bringing you this wretched dream. This can’t be real, you reason with yourself, it’s just a horrible nightmare.

“Pearl?!” Your father shouts, coming into the small room, another, shorter man, in a white lab coat following in behind him. You barely have any time to take a look at the other person in the room, as he preps a syringe, filled with an unknown substance that only makes your fear suffocate you further. “Pearl! Can you hear me, Pearl? It’s me, it’s dad!” Your father is kneeling next to your bed now, as the strange man approaches you, needle in hand.

“N-no!” Your high pitch scream startles both men, piercing their ears as you let out a wail when the man approaches you, stabbing the needle into your bare thigh. “N-no -n-no!” your voice wavers, stuttering to a complete silence, as your body falls back against the cardboard-esque mattress. Your breathing is evening out, eyes half-lidded as your brain feels like it’s floating. You aren’t asleep, no, just floating, peaceful even.

“Is she out?” you faintly hear your father ask.

“No, sir,” another voice sounds off, “it’s just a sedative. It’ll wear off in about an hour, but I don’t expect her to be in much better condition by then.”

You can hear them, though it kind of sounds like they’re underwater. Focus, YN, you tell yourself. Listen to what they’re saying. In your dazed state, you can’t really remember why exactly you should be listening, just that you should be listening.

“Are you going to keep her here?” You could hear your father ask, his voice sounded… strained? Your hazy mind was confused by the pained tone of his voice.

“Yes, sir, I’m sorry,” the second voice sounded professional, yet there was a hint of regret to his tone, “that was part of the deal.”

Deal. What deal? Your foggy mind tried to hold on to that piece of information, but you were in and out of consciousness, your body felt like it was floating. The next time you regained consciousness and were able to decipher the voices again, you only heard one.

“Yeah, she’s here,” it was the second voice, the one you hadn’t recognized before, “no, I don’t.”

It sounded like he was speaking to someone, but you didn’t hear a second person anymore. You definitely didn’t hear your father.

“Look, I don’t have much time. They suspect me, but they haven’t done anything yet, though I’m expecting it soon. Yeah. I’ll try.”

You loll your head to the side, unable to do much to hold it up. You felt heavier than you did when you woke up the last time, but you were able to open your eyes slightly to catch a yellow haired man talking into a phone. “You really need to get here soon,” his back was to you, but you could hear the urgency in his voice. He lowered his voice when he spoke his next words, “They’re getting ready to run tests, you know how-” he cuts off abruptly, pausing for a second, “I can’t Namjoon.”

Namjoon? Your brain was feeling more alert at the mention of his name. Faintly, you could hear the yelling of another voice coming through the phone speaker. Was that really Namjoon? You were about to use all your strength to sit up and ask the young man, when the door slammed open again, another man in a white coat entering the room. The yellow haired guy immediately shoved his phone into his pocket, turning around, wide eyed.

“Yeonjun,” the second man addressed the yellow haired one, he sounded a bit surprised, “Soomin has been looking for you.” Yeonjun, you supposed, bowed slightly, walking out of the room quickly, but not before he sent you a worried look from behind the second man’s back.

You still couldn’t move much, bones and muscles feeling like gelatin, but when the man in the white lab coat approached you, you tried to sit up and scoot away from him. It didn’t take a genius to realize exactly where you were, now that your state of mind was a little clearer. The fact that your father was here, and seemed to know exactly why you were here, only confirmed what Namjoon told you a couple nights ago. It must be the drugs doing their job, because you weren’t feeling the panic and anxiety that was suffocating you earlier. You felt a little more clarity about where you were and what was happening to you, even though you were no less scared.

As you tried to back up against the wall, your right wrist tugged on the chain, preventing you from moving any further. The man didn’t care, though, as he continued to close in on you, eventually settling for sitting on the end of your bed. He was way too close to you for you to feel comfortable at all. You pulled your knees to your chest with all the strength you had left in you, even though you couldn’t hug them like you wanted too, you tried to make yourself as small as possible.

“Miss Y/L/N, do you know where you are?” The man asked, his voice low and placating. You didn’t trust him, something felt off about him. You squint your eyes at him slightly, shaking your head. He takes a deep breath, crossing one leg over the other. “You’re at a testing facility for natural borns,” he begins with a smile, one that you can see right through, “we brought you here because your family sold your rights to your DNA. I’m sorry to break the news to you like this, but it will help you cope in the long run. I know it’s a lot to handle, and so we have therapists on staff to work with you-”

“I don’t believe you.” Your voice is so rough you hardly recognize it. You give one of your chains a quick tug to prove your point. You don’t miss the way his eyes flash with anger, only momentarily, before he steels his features, and it sends a shiver down your spine.

“Ah, yes,” he sighed, rubbing his chin with his hand, “the restraints were for our safety. We didn’t know how you would react once you were awake, but I promise we aren’t always like this, in fact, it’s actually pretty nice here once we get you set up in your own room.” The smile he wore was disgustingly fake, it was unnerving. Everything about him was unnerving. He must be a designer baby, one that borderlines the uncanny valley. He starts to reach his hand out to touch you, a creepy smile on his face that makes you want to scream, instead you shake your head quickly, making it known you don’t want him to touch you. He doesn’t care, though, instead his hand continues it’s path until it’s resting awkwardly on your ankle. It’s almost like he wasn’t human, but was trying to mimic the action of comfort that humans normally do.

“Why am I here?” You ask quickly, your voice squeaky as you pull your foot from his grasp, eyes wide as you stare at him.

“I told you, Miss Y/L/N,” he sighs again, like he was annoyed by your questioning, and pulls his hand back to his lap, “your family sold-”

“Why. Am I here.” You gritted your teeth, willing the tears threatening to break the dam, away.

“Miss Y/L/N,” his voice was suddenly more stern than before, turning in his seat to face you head on, “it’s better if you don’t ask questions. Things will be easier here for you if you accept it.” His words scared you more than he himself did, accept it? That’s what it came down to, right? You’re stuck here. You had no idea if you’d ever escape like the twins did, had no idea if the others even cared to get you back.

You shook your head back and forth, dislodging some of you unshed tears, biting at your lips hard enough to draw blood. If you were stuck here, you at least needed one question answered. “Where is Jungkook?”

The man scoffed at your question, making your tears fall harder, “That boy? They left him in the forest. He’s no use for us here. Now, I have some things to go over with you.”

You sniffled hard, trying to stop the tears from flowing, as your focus wavered, not really listening to anything else he had to say. At least Jungkook wasn’t here, at least he had a chance of escaping. You could only hope that the others found him and he was able to get back to them. You didn’t know them very long, they would forget you soon enough. That was what you were going to hold on to if you had to be here. At least it wasn’t him.

“Are you listening?” The man asked, more aggressive than before. Your head snapped up, tears still falling, as you looked him in the eye again. He lets out another sigh, standing up from the bed, “You’re going to be administered medication three times a day. You already had your first dose this morning when you were brought in, and someone will be by shortly to give you your second. It’s very important that you eat the food they give you with it, otherwise your body won't be healthy enough for testing. You’re very valuable to us here, so if you don’t take care of your body, someone else will, and I’m sure you don’t want that.” He gives you one last fake smile before turning and heading for the door. You watch him with a furrowed brow, tears flowing like a river down your face. He turns around, hand on the doorknob, “And YN, dear? Welcome to Big Hit.”

You’re not sure how long you were left alone in that insanity inducing white room before someone came back, you were too lost in your own thoughts, unable to self-soothe, due to your hands being chained to the bed. You sat as close to the wall as you could get, knees pulled to your chest as you sobbed into your knees. By the time you heard the door creak open, you were nearly out of tears, devoid of any emotion, other than hopelessness, maybe.

“YN?” A woman’s voice called out. It sounded sweet, but you knew better. You didn’t lift your head, didn’t acknowledge her at all. She huffed a little when you didn’t respond, walking into the room and closing and locking the door after her.

“YN, dear,” she said again, wheeling over a metal cart to your bedside, “you need to eat something.” She set a tray of something down on the small desk in the room, but you didn’t bother to look at it. You could smell it from here, and it didn’t smell appetizing.

When the woman realized you weren’t going to speak, she came over and sat on the edge of your bed, as far away from you as possible, as if she was afraid of you. Like I could do anything, you scoffed, mentally.

“YN, I know you’re upset,” she sighed, “but if you don’t eat, dear, they’re going to force feed you, or worse, run a tube through your nose.” You perked up at this knowledge, head tilting to the side slightly, but still not looking at her. “I’ve seen them do it plenty of times to patients. You need to be healthy, darling.” She sounded kind, older, wiser than you. But you didn’t care. Why would you care if you were healthy? For all you knew, you could die in here. Then what was the point of eating at all? Maybe it would be better if you starved yourself to death instead of whatever horrors they were going to put you through.

“What’s gonna happen to me?” You surprised both the nurse and yourself when you spoke, your mouth betraying your brain. Your voice was even scratchier than before, and you sighed at the sound.

“Didn’t Dongin tell you, darling?” Dongin, that must have been the white lab coated man from earlier. Did he tell you? You honestly couldn’t remember. You spaced out halfway through what he was saying, thoughts only on Jungkook. You decide that no, he didn’t, and you tell the nurse as much. “YN, you’re here for donations. I would’ve thought your father told you that long ago?” She sounded puzzled, like she didn’t really even know what was going on here.

You looked up at her for the first time since she walked in, shocking her with the dead look in your eyes. You decided to play her to your advantage, maybe she really didn’t know what was going on.

“Tell me what?” You asked,as innocently as you could muster.

The woman furrowed her brows at your, reaching out a hand to place on your leg. You flinch away from her, making her pull back instantly. Maybe she was kinder than the rest. No, you can’t let yourself believe that. “Darling, you were born here. The company was taking back what was theirs in the first place. Not that I agree with that, or anything, but you know how these big pharmaceutical companies work. All about their money.” She rambled on, her tone almost disbelieving that you didn’t already know the things she was telling you, but you didn’t feel like you had any answers to your questions. You only had more questions. Taking back what’s theirs?

“What do you mean, ‘what was theirs’?” You straighten your legs out a bit, knees popping and cracking as you do. You bring your hands as far into your lap as you can without straining them against the cuffs.

The nurse was looking even more confused than you felt, pinching her brows together tightly and pursing her lips. “I - I don’t think I should be telling-”

“Soomin!” A man, the yellow haired one from earlier, bursts through the door, cutting the woman off and making her jump at least a foot in the air in shock. Turning around quickly, Soomin stands and bows to the man before scurrying out of the room, bowing one last time for good measure, before she’s gone. The young man runs his hand through his hair, huffing a breath of air as he closes the door behind him.

“YN-” he rushes over, dropping to his knees in front of you, frightening you into backing up as much as you could again, on the defense, “I’m not here to hurt you, I promise. At least not on purpose.” He was talking so quickly you could barely keep up, “My name is Yeonjun, and I work with Namjoon and Yoongi for an organization that helps natural borns. I’m the one who helped Jimin and Tae escape yesterday, and I think the company is starting to catch onto me.” He takes a deep breath, looking over his shoulder quickly and then back at you, “I need you to listen to me, okay?”

You nod, slowly, still not exactly following the frantic man.

“That nurse is going to come in here in about fifteen minutes to administer hormones to you,” you furrow your brow at this new information. Yeonjun must sense your confusion, because he quickly explains, “They’re trying to harvest your eggs, YN. They’re trying to use your DNA for new experimental designer babies,” he shakes his head, a look of disgust written on his face, “it doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that you take the hormones, and you eat. I know, I know you don’t want to, and I’m not going to lie to you, it’s going to hurt.” You wince at his words, and he softens his gaze, pursing his lips, “I’m sorry YN, but the only way I’m going to be able to get you out of here, is if you play along. They have to believe that you’re complacent before they’ll move you to a less secure area of the building. I don’t know how long it’ll take for them to move you, so I need you to play along to speed up the process, but I will do my best to deter them from… experimenting on you, for now.”

Yeonjun looks uncomfortable as both his hands grip the side of the mattress. “E-experiment?” You aren’t sure you want to know what he meant by it, but you’re sure you’ll regret it if you don’t.

He sighs, looking sideways for a second, not wanting to look you in the eye. “It takes a long time to successfully create an embryo in a lab…” he trails off, still looking anywhere but your face, “it’s relatively… quick, in a human body.” He coughs, clearing his throat as he looks back up at your mortified face.

The weight of where you are and what is going to happen to you here, suddenly hits you. It’s like a giant wave, crashing on top of you, pulling you under water, trapping you on the ocean floor. Your throat felt like it was closing again.

“YN, look at me,” Yeonjun begged, and you obeyed, trusting this man before you, “I’m going to do everything I possibly can to keep that from happening, but you have to comply with them, or it’s going to make it harder for me to do that. Okay? Do you understand?” You were breathing heavily, eyes blinking rapidly, but you nodded your head at him, gulping as you did.

“B-but, why? I- I don’t understand what t-the nurse said,” you stuttered, still desperately trying to suck in a decent breath of air, “what did s-she mean?”

Yeonjun looks conflicted, but answers your questions anyways, “I don’t have the entire story, but what I do know is that your dad used to work here. I guess he still kind of does, in a way? But from what I have heard, him and your mom struggled to have a baby…” he trailed off, like he really doesn’t want to answer your question. He’s staring at you with furrowed brows, like he’s trying to get a read on you, trying to determine if you’re mentally aware enough to hear this information.

“The company agreed to… help, on one condition. You were still their property, and when you turned eighteen, you were to come back to the company. You were one of their experiments, YN.”

Your mouth drops open slightly at his words. You weren’t sure what you felt, sadness… anger? Were you not a natural born? Did you go through all that torment in school, in life, all for nothing? You were actually one of these God forsaken designer babies, forced to live a life of secrecy, and for what? To be bullied into a crippling depression? Your mind was reeling with this new information, you had no idea what you were supposed to do with this.

“So I belong to them?” You blink your eyes tightly a few times, trying to hold back tears, unable to rub at your eyes like you want. You pull slightly at your chains, letting out a broken sob. “I-I’m one of them?”

Yeonjun sighs, shaking his head and looking up at your watery eyes. “I’m sorry, YN, I wish I had more information about what exactly you are, and I wish I could have told you this under better circumstances. The goal was for Namjoon and Yoongi to bring you to the safe house so they wouldn’t be able to take you, but obviously that didn’t work out.” There was remorse in his words, but no anger. He understood it wasn’t their fault, or yours. It was this horrible company's fault. They were the only ones to blame.

“I have to go, YN, I’m so sorry,” he whispered as he stood up. He placed a hand gently over your head, stroking your hair back once before turning to leave. “Please, listen to them. For now. I’m going to help you, I promise.”

You look into his eyes one last time before he nods once, leaving the room, locking it behind him. No longer do you have the distraction of conversation to sate your mind. Now you’re free to spiral into the dark depths your brain created for you.

Your parents have been lying to you for your entire life. Were they really even your parents? Could you trust them? Your father did seem conflicted when he was here earlier, almost like he didn’t want to leave you here. What Yeonjun said circled back in your mind. They were only supposed to have you until you turned eighteen. But you were twenty three now. Had they been the ones keeping you from Big Hit?

You thought back to that fateful morning only a few days ago, when your father met with Hyunwoo. Was he telling him to leave you alone, would he have protected you, did you screw yourself over by leaving with Namjoon and the others?

The others. You couldn’t stop your mind from wandering to them. Were they okay? You hoped so. You could only hope that they were able to get out of that forest, and finally able to reunite with one another. You hoped that Seokjin and Jungkook wouldn’t blame themselves for you being taken, though knowing what little you do know of them, they probably would. Your heart ached for them. You’ve come to care about them so much in the past few days, and you’d be lying to yourself if you said a part of you didn’t hope they would come for you.

You heard Yeonjun on the phone earlier, though the memory was a bit fuzzy. He did tell them to come here, and even though you wished they would help get you out of here, a larger part of you hoped that they would stay away. They had a chance to be away from this place, once and for all. All of them, together. You didn’t want to stand in the way of that.

Lost in your thoughts, you startled violently when the door to the small room opened again. It was the nice nurse from earlier, Soomin? When she shut the door behind her, she tsked at your pitiful sight. Still curled into the smallest form your restraints would allow, dried tear tracks staining your face.

Taking a wash cloth from her little cart, she walks over to you, holding it up as a way of asking for permission. You remember Yeonjun’s words from earlier, and nod your head in acceptance.

Soomin sighs, wiping the tears from your face, “You’ll be able to take a shower and get cleaned up once we get some food in your and you take your meds, okay?” You nod as she continues to clean your face.

When she’s done, she brings the small plate of food over to you, setting it on the bed in front of you. Carefully, she feeds you the oatmeal and fruit, and while you would normally protest, not wanting to eat, fearful that you’ll just throw it right back up, you’re mindful of what Yeojun said. You need to be complacent. What could happen if you weren’t, was so much worse than having a nice older woman spoon feed you breakfast foods.

After you finished off the fruit, Soomin went back to her cart, putting on gloves and setting up what looked like syringes and tiny glass bottles, holding some kind of liquid. You wince as she picks up one of the needles, bringing it to the tiny bottle, and pulling the liquid out.

“Lie back for me, YN,” she says sweetly, walking back over to the bed. You look at her hesitantly, fear in your eyes. You’ve never liked needles, always been afraid of them. “It will only hurt a little, okay, dear?”

You shut your eyes tightly and nod, just wanting to get this over with. Laying back on the brick like pillow they provided you with, you try to relax into the similarly firm mattress. When Soomin lifts your shirt gently, you jump, definitely not expecting her to touch you there. “W-wait!” you shout, louder than you mean to. “W-wait, p-please! Where are you putting that?!” You whimper, not wanting her to touch you further.

Soomin backed away for a moment, looking at you like you were a disobedient child. “Darling, it’s just a shot. It’s going to go in your lower stomach, I have a few of them.”

You shake your head, eyes filling with tears as you try and sit up, “No, please, don’t” you beg, wrists pulling at your restraints harder now.

“YN, dear, please calm down,” she shushes you, walking closer and placing a hand on your stomach, holding you down slightly, “it will be quick, okay?”

You let out a sob as she brings up the cotton pad to clean your skin for the injection. She does it on both sides of your belly, before cleaning on a small patch on your outer thigh, as well. You let her, though your body is trembling in fear as she does it. Your brain is instantly transported back to the searing pain you felt earlier when you were in your coma state. Is that what you were about to feel again? Before you could think too deeply about it, you feel her gloved hand on you again, causing you to jolt.

“Deep breath,” she says, before you feel a sharp pain in your stomach, making you jerk up and cry harder. Soomin pushes on your stomach with her free hand, holding you still. The searing pain from before flushes through your veins, not as intense as before, but hot, like the blood in your veins is boiling.

Your entire body is shaking with sobs by the time she finishes, not bothering to clean up the small drops of blood pooling at the entrance wounds. Maybe she isn’t as kind as you originally thought.

You feel violated. You weren’t able to stop it, to defend yourself. Even though it was only a shot, only some hormones, you felt completely stripped of your rights. That experience really solidified to you that you are nothing more than property to them, a doll, to do with what they please, and that thought breaks you when you remember Yeonjun’s words again today. You have to comply.

“I’ll be back in a few hours for your next round, dear,” Soomin says as she finishes up with your leg and leaves you. You lay flat on your back, staring at the ceiling with no emotion in your eyes, but oceans of tears falling from them. You let your eyelids slip shut after a few minutes, but you’re never able to fully fall asleep.

To be continued...

A/N: thanks for making it all the way to the end, I’m so excited to write the next couple of chapters, ahhhh!! xx

taglist: @mrsstilinski96 @sammiilynn10192 @minifruity @mrcleanheichou @arantxaglz @chim-possible @kooksremedy @irishhbamb @sugashaye @lovelyseomin @strawberrygatorade @kookiebbyxx @itneverends15713

ok i updated tags, but some still wouldn’t let me tag!! tumblr has been doing me dirty these last couple of weeks, so please REBLOG to people can see this

#bts x reader #bts angst #ot7 angst #ot7 x reader #ot7 smut #bts smut #cypherwritersnet

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magicalcrwn · 3 years

Text

lost, then found // ksj

pairing: Seokjin x Reader

word count: 2.2k

genre: non-idol, roommates au, requited feelings, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst

warning(s): going in deep here so do not take these lightly, talks of loneliness, existential crisis, mental health issues, implied suicidal thoughts, mostly unedited

summary: “When it comes, the two hands overlap / Then the whole world holds its breath for a moment / Zero o’clock“

Life is hard, sometimes you just gotta take a step back and breathe.

a/n: been feeling horrible this year, so i poured all of my thoughts into this fic to just lighten the load i guess. this could also be considered as a late jin day gift, he’s been my ult and my main emotional support kpop boy for two years now and abyss even got me finishing up this fic. so in a way, it’s more of a vent fic but also a thank you for keeping a smile on my face. with that out of the way, i hope you’re all taking care of yourselves and maybe find some comfort in this. who knows? links: txt m.l || bts m.l

Sleep has always been an escape for you, especially from reality.

Everybody has those days, feeling lost and depressed no matter what happened -- could be out of nowhere, could be from exhaustion -- but today? Today is just too much, and you don’t know why. You feel heavy, drained both emotionally and physically, and want only to sleep the day or maybe the rest of the year or more away. Honestly, that doesn’t sound too bad -- an eternal sleep. In your dreams, you can do anything without a worry. An eternal dream would be heavenly, doing whatever you want with no pressure and stress from the world, doing whatever at your own pace instead of being pressured to keep up with the rapidly moving public.

So that’s what you do, or that’s what you try to do. It’s nearing sundown and you stay curled up under your bed on your phone while scrolling through social media, you only get up to get food and water and to use the bathroom. Anything else? That’s it. You look through every single platform you’re on underneath the blanket while cuddling RJ stolen from Seokjin’s bed.

Speaking of Seokjin…

You’ve been living with him as roommates for the past three years, and you have known him since high school when you were a freshman and him a sophomore. Whenever you two hang out together, some could easily mistake you as siblings, sometimes as lovers. You, however, don’t consider him a lover -- he’s just your best friend who agreed to live in this apartment together. Yep, just friends. Nothing more. Just friends. You don’t pay attention to his cute stupid grin whenever he makes a cheesy dad joke, nor his squishy cheeks that puffs up whenever he smiles. You also don’t pay attention to how he’s humming little melodies you’ve memorized overtime while he cooks, and you don’t pay attention to how he gets all giggly and happy whenever he gets excited. Though you do acknowledge how safe you feel around him, how comfortable it is to be around him.

He’s out today, working late as a recently hired producer and artist for Namjoon’s also recently opened company, MONO Entertainment, leaving your lonesome self the entire day. Speaking of loneliness, it feels more suffocating than usual. Music quietly plays through your phone’s speaker, you pull the sheets closer to your body as you try to dig deeper into the warmth of your safety. This duvet can’t keep you safe and warm, you’re well aware of that, you’ll have to eventually leave and rejoin the overwhelming society you know as reality.

Growing up, you always believed reality is perfect, a place where it has so many possibilities for you to strive for a better future -- or better yet, a better self. Oh, has the world proved you wrong.

The security alarm echoes throughout the apartment, accompanied by the sound of the door unlocking and opening. He's already home? Nevertheless, you stay in your bed, sliding even deeper into the duvet. Your name is called from the entrance, but you shut your eyes as you attempt to sneak in a nap. Today's pretty much not a social day, you just want to keep the talking to a minimum. Especially with your roommate. The door shuts, keys jingling in the distance followed by shoes thumping.

Soft padded footsteps nears your doorway, a crack between the frame and the door peeking into and out of your somewhat messy room. Seokjin, still wearing his fuzzy orange hoodie, gently pushes the door as he tries not to disturb you. Upon spotting the you-sized lump protruding from the blanket, he sighs with a small smile on his face. He walks to the nearest side of your bed, closest to the door, which surprisingly you left space for your full sized bed.

Once more, he calls your name, but you still don't respond. At least verbally. You just shuffle in place and push yourself even more deeper into the duvet. A light chuckle grabs onto your ears. Your friend sits on said empty spot of your bed and gently rests a hand on the lump, landing on your left arm.

"Hey bub," he says while gently rubbing your arm in small strokes. Seokjin moves his hands towards the edge of the covers to pull it down, but you whine as you feel the sudden shift in air once he moves it down at least an inch. A frown dons his face, "C'mon, you can't breathe if you stay down there."

You shake your head. "Come back in 2-3 business days," you mumble.

Surprised by your sudden remark, he lets out an airy laugh a moment sooner. You feel shifting behind you, the heavy duvet being moved around. A warm presence slides into your cocoon, inching closer to you. If you're not getting out, might as well get in.

"Jin," you whine pathetically, "get out."

"Aw, c'mon, can't I at least get a hug?"

You blink your eyes, practically rolling them at the end. He's pouting, you know he is. In fact, if you turn around right now, you'd see his pouty lips especially in the dark. With a straight face, you slowly flop over to your right to face exactly what you expected. A pouty Seokjin with -- oh no -- how dare he use those puppy eyes against you out of all people! Without even realizing it, you hold your breath as you two stare each other for a long, long time. At each passing second, you feel the effects of the forbidden Seokjinnie Pout™ dealing blows at your already rapid beating heart. Your face grows redder and redder as you continue staring directly at his face.

When your ears starts to burn enough, you release your breath and surrender, "Fine, you can hug." His eyes brightens at your words, his cheeks rounding up as a smile pushes through the pout. Has he always been this close before? Just inches away from your faces touching. You blink thrice then stammer, "Just... just once."

An arm suddenly reaches for your curled up body, Seokjin pushes himself towards you with his other arm on the bed. His warmth right against yours as he snakes his limbs around you, pulling you into his embrace. Out of habit, your arms wrap around his torso as you lean further into him and squishing RJ in between.

A hand reaches for your head, gently stroking it. His chest rumbles against your forehead while he asks, "Bad day?" Of course he'd notice, so you nod your head. He hums, still continuing his petting, "Thought so. Did you get up at all?"

"Only to go to the bathroom and eat," you reply back, subconsciously nuzzling into his fuzzy clad chest which steadily moves up and down with his breathing.

"Haven't gone out at all, hm?" This time you shake your head. He lets out a huff, patting your head twice before looking down at you, "What's wrong? You can tell me."

Your lips puckers into a pout, you smush your face closer into him as you mumble, "'s just -- I dunno -- just unmotivated I guess. Like there's nothin' I can do even though I know I can do it but -- yeah. That and just... lonely."

"Lonely? I'm right here, y'know," he lightly jokes as an attempt to lighten the mood.

"I know but like, the different type of lonely. Y'know, the type of lonely where you feel like you're just awkwardly standing in place of somewhere where you clearly don't belong. The type where you feel like you've been left out from everything that's happening no matter how fast or slow time goes by, even getting to the point where you feel like you’re lost." You swallow shortly afterwards, continuing with another mumble. Your arms tighten, "The type where you don't feel like you're alive."

He quietly stares at you, watching you breathe in his arms. Suddenly, you felt yourself being pulled up and out of the covers, being placed on the pillows while still in his embrace. You lift your head and look at him with an exhausted yet confused gaze. Both of you stare right into each others' eyes for a while, the slightly audible music still playing on the other side of yourself on the bed. "How about now? Do you feel alive?"

His sudden question caught you off guard, not even letting you respond with a suitable answer. Seeing your bewildered eyes, he repositions yourselves on the bed -- lying on his back and you resting your cheek on his chest, allowing you hear the faint thumps of his heartbeat. Right when you open your mouth, he immediately cuts you off, "What am I saying, it's much more easier said than done. Alive... It's a strange concept if you think about it. It all depends on how you live it, but how we live it is always the big question."

Leaning his head back onto the pillow, gazing up onto the ceiling, he subconsciously continues stroking his head as he too continues his train, "Sometimes I feel like I'm alive, finally getting a head start on my music career thanks to Namjoon, but sometimes? Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know if I enjoy what I'm doing, I don't know if I am doing what I'm capable of doing in this life. I don't know if I'm living a life that I want to live, a life where I feel alive." He slightly tips his head towards your side, lowering just a bit to look back at you. "Even though I'm familiar with the loneliness, I don't mind it. Sure it sucks, but it helps you even when you don't think it would. Gives you time to reflect, gives you time to think, and most importantly, it gives you time to rest."

Turning towards the window, he faces the sky at the blue hour after the sun has set. The faint sound of vehicles moving throughout the streets muffles against the wall and the window. "Yeah, the world's fast, a lot of us are moving fast -- moving onwards without looking back. Whenever I look at those people, I always think to myself, 'Wow, these guys... I can't keep up.' I still think of it to this day. Whatever they did in their day, no matter how big or small, they're always moving at their own pace to keep up with the world. I don't doubt it though, feeling the same loss and loneliness we feel every now and then. It catches us off guard, especially to them at least once in their lives. Just like today." Once more, his gaze falls back onto you. You , who stares with wide eyes as you listen to his philosophy.

His lips curls up into a small smile, warm enough to comfort you. "No matter how many times you feel this way -- everyday or every other day -- you're still you. The loneliness isn't always there to torment you, it's there to guide you, help you. Don't ever try to force it out, like misery, it loves company. Company that it can be useful to. No matter where or what you're doing in the world, you will seek that life again. The life you believe that you will fulfill to the end, the life that will make you feel alive even just by a smidge."

Loneliness. You never thought of it that way, honestly. You'd always think of it as an obstacle, something annoyingly in your way. Something which seems to be impossible to overcome. Shuffling up, moving into a more comfortable position, you rest your ear onto his chest. Hearing Seokjin’s voice say your name, you look up again.

In just a split second, he places a light feathery kiss on your forehead, immediately burning your ears red. "Take a break," he murmurs against your skin, "I mean it."

Underneath your head, you feel him shuffle as he starts to make his way out of the bed. "Seokjin," you instantly call. He pauses, a leg sticking out of the duvet and bare foot planted on the floor, then he looks back. Without even realizing, you ask him, "Can you stay here with me? Please?"

Blinking once then twice, his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows and slowly nod. Zipping off the hoodie, letting it fall onto the floor, he crawls back into bed and repositions himself in the same spot he was in.

You reach for your phone, turning off the music then placing back behind you in its original spot. Climbing up to him, you readjust yourself into your position from earlier, curling up against his warm body. Shutting your eyes, you whisper, "Thank you."

You didn't elaborate nor was there a need to. Seokjin watches you breathe, his gaze soft at the sight. Wrapping his arms back around you, he places another kiss on your head, "You're welcome. Have a nice sleep, love."

Love? Your heart stutters at the word, a grin threatening to burst out.

Tomorrow will be another day, the day where you'll put yourself back on track and pick up where you left off. While the world doesn't wait for no one, the only one waiting for you is yourself and maybe a specific somebody keeping you close to his heart.

a/n: it’s normal to feel lonely, even if you see it as a threat. remember that it will teach you to take care of yourself better. first things first, take a step back and just breathe.

#bts #bts imagine #bts oneshot #bts drabble #bts fluff #bts angst #kim seokjin #jin #seokjin #seokjin fluff #seokjin angst #jin fluff #jin angst #seokjin oneshot #jin oneshot

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haikyuuscreaming · 4 years

Text

hi um so no one requested this but like i went through something basically like this and cried a whole lot about it and i dont think its even that angsty or makes sense but i just barfed it up as a vent fic so haha funny imi’s stupid and writes about her emotional exhaustion as an x reader

heres an unrequited iwaizumi x reader :D (SORRY THIS ISNT FDSKFJ this isnt really a tumblr drabbles its more of an ao3 oneshot so)

(also sorry if none of the fic makes sense or flows well,,, i just wanted to get this out)

Ever since your first day at Kitagawa Daiichi, you found yourself with a crush on Iwaizumi Hajime.

You couldn’t help it. As soon as you saw him in your school-orientation group the week before school started, you couldn’t help but feel something more than a friendly glow. You were already sitting with your orientation group, but once you saw him join the group (albeit sort of late), your stomach practically flipped with butterflies.

He even sat down next to you.

The rest of the orientation went more than fine. Your delight when Iwaizumi started conversations with you was absolutely immeasurable. Even when your group was performing normal get-to-know-you activities, your heart seemed to race every time he made eye contact with you.

“Your name’s [Surname] [Name], right?” Iwaizumi asked, tapping his pencil against his desk. The orientation paper had asked for the names of three people in your group.

“Yeah.. and you’re Iwaizumi Hajime…?” You didn’t really need to question it, but you did so anyway to be polite.

“Mhm. Uh-- sorry, how do you spell your name?” Your heart picked up its pace once you heard him attempt to spell it out. To your feeble, gleeful surprise, he spelled it right.

“Oh! Um, that’s actually how you spell it. Thanks.”

“No problem.” He smiles at you and your seventh grade self felt like beaming brighter.

His impression on you had lasted.

In fact, that first impression on you had made your school year much better somehow.

Initially, you wanted to go to Yukigaoka with your best friends, but you ended up getting into Kitagawa Daiichi. You were miserable at the prospect of going into a school without your best friends that had been with you through thick and thin, but you lit up once you saw your schedule and found you had quite a few classes with Iwaizumi.

Throughout middle school, you made new friends and became close with Iwaizumi and his friend Oikawa Tooru. They eventually became one of your primary friend groups: you and them. Your number one best friend though, you found, was a new friend you made, Hanae.

Maybe the first mistake you made was telling her that you had a crush on Iwaizumi.

Okay, well, you didn’t tell her- she found out? Forced it out of you? Either way, not a big deal, you two are basically sisters now. But you did kind of wish she would stop mentioning it so much.

“Look, [Name]-chan~” she would always laugh and point at him discreetly whenever he was in the vicinity. “It’s your future boyfriend.”

It was always the same, every time.

“Would you shut up,” you complain, smacking her shoulder lightly which earned a laugh from her. “He could be listening!”

“Just telling the truth~” Hanae would always flash a smile back.

Things changed, though.

On a hang-out with Iwaizumi and Oikawa, you noticed their glances at each other-- Iwaizumi's being weary, while Oikawa’s was cheeky and sly.

“Hey, what are you two smiling about now?” you laugh lightly. The varied stares they gave you made you quiet down. “No, seriously, are you keeping secrets?”

“Of course not,” Oikawa chimes in. “Iwa-chan has big news though!”

Your heart rate spikes a little bit and you feel sweat beading on the back of your neck. And you're blushing too. Under Iwaizumi's warm, sharp gaze, you feel like melting under his radiance. “Eh? Haji, spit it out!!” Your anxiety falsely passes off as intrigue and excitement.

Flushing a little bit, Iwaizumi scratches his neck and smiles at you, “I wanted you to be the second to know, I have a girlfriend.”

…

You're shell-shocked.

If Oikawa picks up on it, he doesn't say so. “Seeee, [Name]-chan, I know we didn't believe it, but Iwa-chan finally snatched himself a girl!” Iwaizumi responds with a swift punch to the gut.

“I….” you can't find the words. You force yourself to smile like it's the only thing you can do. “Haji, that’s amazing!! Who is it? I didn't even know you had a crush…” Your voice falters but you push your words out as if your life depended on it. How did you manage to sound so genuinely happy when it felt like your entire world was about to crash?

Iwaizumi flushes again and you feel jealousy seep in. You so wish it was you that he blushes for. “Haha, yeah. Oikawa didn't know either for once; I didn't tell anyone, you know? Wasn't really sure yet. But it’s Aika-chan.” The way his face lights up burns a hole in your heart.

He even uses -chan for her. How special. The bitter envy feels like acid rising in your throat, and you feel queasy. Like you could keel over, cry, and puke out your guts.

“Ohhh, Aika-san is cute,” you make yourself say.

(Honestly, you're so good at lying and saying this wrong but right bullshit, you’d think you're a sociopathic robot or something.)

“Mmm… don't get jealous though, [Name]-chan, you're cuter!” Oikawa hums and you laugh loudly, hoping that you'll fake it till you make it. “Tell her how it happened, Iwa-chan. It was hilaaarious.”

The poison in you burns harsher but you nod along.

“Don't tell me what to do, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi bites almost playfully, before meeting your blank gaze with his kind, gently blazing eyes that always made you weak. Right now, you were not weak in the good way. “Aika-chan confessed to me yesterday near the sakura tree after we had class together… and I don't know, I guess it really clued me in that the feelings I had were real.”

(Iwaizumi looks so happy and content that it makes you want to be happy too, but you honestly feel like doing nothing but crying.)

“Aww, that's so sweet~” Your voice gets softer and you hate yourself so much for sounding weak.

But before either boy can reply, the panic and agony sets in. You feel your eyes glass up and your body tense, and your mind is begging you not to break down.

Unfortunately, they both notice.

“[Name]-chan? Are you okay?? You look kinda sick~” Oikawa sounds cheery and playful but his eyes convey an undercurrent of worry.

And bless Iwaizumi’s stupidly handsome oblivion, he blinks at your worriedly and puts a hand on your shoulder to steady you. “Do you need to go to the nurse? School’s still open I think, and it's right around the corner-”

Fuck him and his mind-meltingly handsome everything. Just his voice and his sharp gaze makes you want to cry harder and collapse to him.

“I-I have to go, sorry guys,” You fucking despise how cracked your voice is becoming as your facade slips. “I promised Hanae that I'd go get bubble tea with her. See you Monday.”

Eyes stinging, you turn as quick as you can and ignore their confused voices.

(The tears flow like acid and you feel like dissolving from the inside out.)

Months pass and you deny your horrifyingly strong yet compressed feelings.

You greet Aika and Iwaizumi in the hallways, and you know that you're happy because Iwaizumi is, and that's honestly all you could ask for your long-time crush (turned bitter love). You even talk to Aika freely during shared classes, just to disguise your depressing jealousy.

Every time you see them share a discreet kiss or grip each other's hands, you genuinely wish you were dying. It sure feels like you are.

(Like you're drowning, like your lungs are burning up and you're begging for oxygen, begging to breathe in Iwaizumi's love that's reserved for someone else. It hurts a lot but he's happy.)

(So you have to be happy.)

Hanae spares you sympathetic looks. “Come on, wifey-chan, you're married to meee. Get over him, he doesn't deserve you if he chose Aika the troll over you.”

“That's mean,” you sigh and crumble onto Hanae. “Aika-san’s nice. And pretty. And talented. It's no wonder Haji would choose her.”

“Stopppp! You’re so much more than Troll-chan, okay?!?” Hanae’s pep talk is brash, but you appreciate the charm. “If Iwaizumi-kun doesn’t see that, I’ll punch him.”

You laugh lightly at the fact that Hanae had talked to Iwaizumi enough to be calling him kun, but your voice is still heavy despite the sentiment. “You're so weird. But that's why I love you.”

“Of course you do~”

On another innocent hang-out with Iwaizumi and Oikawa, you’re met with abrupt news.

“Aika and I broke up.” Iwaizumi mutters softly.

“Eeeeh?!” You’re shell-shocked again, but you'd be lying if you said you were crushed like last time. “But-- but you guys were doing so well! You were the cutest couple!”

“She broke up with him over text,” Oikawa chimes in and you gape as Iwaizumi punches him again. “Two days ago.”

“She what-”

“She said she wasn't ready for a relationship,” is all Iwaizumi says.

You feel heartbreak and burning pity boil inside of you. “I-I’m so sorry, Haji… you didn't deserve that. You'll find someone better.”

Me. It's me, I promise I won't break your heart the way she did, because you're all I ever wanted.

He nods and for the first time in a while, he hugs you tight. “Yeah..”

It breaks you because it feels so good, his embrace warming you.

But it breaks you more to hear him whisper, “I can’t get over her though.”

(You just wanted him to be happy but he can’t. You can’t fix it.)

“You will,” you breathe out, trying not to let the tears slip. “You’re gonna be okay.”

(You know you’re not.)

But you don’t say that when you feel Iwaizumi’s shaky breath and him muttering, “Thanks.”

“Oh my god, [Name], did you hear about Hajime-kun?” Hanae’s alarmed voice three days later makes you concerned.

First of all, Hajime-kun-- “W-What? What happened now??” Nonetheless, panic still seeps into you.

“Aika broke up with him!!” Hanae seems so worked up over this and you wonder, how close is she to him? “Can you believe it?? She really threw away one of the best people in school!”

Shouldn’t I be saying that…? “Yeah, I know…” you try not to sound too bitter. “But like, it’s not really her fault she wasn’t ready for a relationship..”

Hanae huffs and crosses her arms, leaning onto you. “Well, I mean you’re right, but she shouldn’t have signed herself up for it if this was gonna happen. I feel so bad for him.” You’re about to layer on your argument, but Hanae straightens up and smirks. “See, your man’s single. Shoot your shot!”

“Right after a break-up?? Hanae, you’re batshit crazy-”

“Uh, well, make him like you, then shoot your shot!”

Your head and heart kind of hurts from all this talk about Iwaizumi, no matter how smitten you are for him, so you just blindly nod and agree.

It works for the rest of the day until you get home and cry into your pillow, wondering what to do.

Hope is re-kindled into you.

Over the past two-ish months, post-breakup, you find that comforting Iwaizumi makes you feel much better than wallowing in your self-pity. It’s a win-win: you’re putting even more of his trust into you, you two are getting even closer, and this could quite possibly end up in a great situation.

You melt at the sight of Iwaizumi, and every day you can see happiness soak back into him. Every time he laughs at one of your stupid jokes or grins at you while you rant and complain, you feel like your heart stops out of complete adoration of how stunning he is in every way you can think of.

He isn't perfect, but you think he's the perfect match for you.

And one day, at a study “date” (you try very hard not to take that term to heart!!) at a café, Iwaizumi peers up from laptop and gives you his signature, gruff yet content smile and says, “You know, I don't think I need Aika anymore.”

(You want to kiss him.)

It’s honestly been a shitty time for you and your friends, you realize.

Hanae broke up with her boyfriend, as you would have figured over the past few weeks she’s been ranting to you about how annoying and clingy and overprotective he is, but you found that she broke up with him over text. Oikawa went through three girlfriends in a month, to which he pouted and whined about but you knew he was secretly relieved that he didn’t have to carry more burden. And there’s the whole heartache Iwaizumi thing, even though things have been getting relatively better.

(You also realize amongst all your friends, you’re the only one who’s stayed very, very very single. You hope that’ll change soon.)

Things are going absolutely amazing with Iwaizumi. Even Oikawa’s been smirking at you and teasing you about your “true love” (to which you frustratedly deny but you honestly know that it’s just the truth when you consider your feelings for him). The two of you have felt confident enough to spend time with each other at your respective homes without feeling awkward or the need to have Oikawa there to provide a third wheel. You couldn’t wish for anything more.

So now you’re at a family-friend’s party, lounging on the couch away from the scene, on your phone. It’s so loud, but you’re content and refreshed on all the snacks you’ve practically been inhaling. Your phone pings in your hand and you glance up at the notification you’ve just received.

Oh, a text~

It’s from Hanae.

poopy hanae >:)): [name] are you busyyy

YOU: no not really

YOU: just at a party

poopy hanae >:)): OH okay so um can i tell you something but

poopy hanae >:)): i dont want you to get mad or sad ...so please let me just finish my texts

YOU: ?? yea go ahead , ill wait for you to finish :)

You feel kind of nervous once she puts it like that, but you let her continue.

poopy hanae >:)): remember how after my break up i promised i wouldn’t fall for anyone else, not for a while yk? i promised that to me and him: i wouldn’t let my heart get broken or whatever. but i found out that i don’t think i’ve ever really fallen for my ex. i think i just dated him because i felt bad and felt like i had to date him because i didn’t wanna reject him… but it happened still. but i think i’m in love now. honestly.

poopy hanae >:)): i’ve never felt this way around any guy before, not my ex, not anyone. everytime i see him my heart goes crazy, and i want to talk to him all the time. he’s just so perfect in every way. he’s so smart, he’s handsome as hell, he’s strong and caring… and i promised both of you i wouldn’t fall for anyone else but i broke that promise to him, you, and me. and i think you’ve figured out who he is now.

poopy hanae >:((: i’m sorry i can’t help it. i didn’t want to tell you because that would make our friendship weird but i hope now we’re at the stage where we will still be best friends regardless of him. i’m truly in love with iwaizumi hajime and i’m gonna confess to him on monday (tmr). i love him so much but i want you to know i love you more so he won’t ever get in the way of us. ily <3

The more you read the message, the more it makes you want to cry. Your hand starts trembling around your milk tea and you feel your face warm up, your eyes glassing over and your vision blurring. Stumbling your way into the bathroom, you lock yourself inside, staring at yourself in the mirror. You watch your delicate, shaking features in the mirror as the first bitter tear rolls down your cheek. More tears follow.

Sobs wrack your body and hot tears glide down your face, constantly, like a river. Whimpers escape you, and your lips are cracked and dry, and you keep thinking, Why would she do this to me?

YOU: ahaha it’s okay!!!

YOU: a boy shouldn’t get between us, ly :) make him happy

YOU: you desrvee him mroe than anbyody else

You cover your mouth with your shaking fingers in hopes that the others can’t hear you outside over the music.

You pretend it’s fine the next day at school.

Hanae doesn’t even mention it, but she hugs you a lot more and keeps whispering, “I love you”. The bitterness has sunken in a little bit and you resist the urge to tell her, It doesn’t change the fact that you broke me, but you figure that it’ll be okay.

You’ll just lose your feelings for Iwaizumi so she doesn’t have “competition”.

(It turns out to be harder than you think.)

When you see Iwaizumi at lunch, his smile never fails to make you flush a little bit and make you feel so warm and comfy. When he sits down next to you (!! ahhh!) since Hanae was in line for lunch, he makes a sigh-grunt noise as he nestles his chin into the crook of his palm. Oikawa, bless his dumb ass, sidles down next to you, making a dramatic sigh.

“Did you know Hanae-chan confessed to Iwa-chan today?”

You try so, so SO hard not to tense. “Yeah. She told me a few days ago that she- she was in love with him.”

(The way your voice cracks at “in love” is pathetic, you think.)

You don’t miss the way Oikawa’s face briefly flashes a frown at you before morphing back into his signature pretty-boy smile. Iwaizumi looks a little embarrassed to be talking about this but he nods. “Yeah, she pulled me aside right before lunch and… yeah. It was so embarrassing…” You’re in fucking awe of how cute he is even when he’s distressed, but you remind yourself (with a pang of bitterness) that you aren’t supposed to think that anymore.

“And I turned her down,” Iwaizumi continues, and your ears almost fucking pop at the noise. He- how, what? Why? “‘Cause I don’t know, I never really felt that way about her. I guess that’s why she’s been talking to me more and more lately. She said she understood if I wasn’t ready to move on ‘cause of Aika and stuff, but.. she said something like she’ll change my mind.” He snorts and murmurs, “I don’t think that’ll happen, honestly.”

Oikawa laughs, a peppery laugh accompanied with a side-eyed glance towards you. “Iwa-chan, you’re such a brute~ You sure that’s the only reason you turned her down?”

Iwaizumi lets out a snort again. “Yeah.. I’m over Aika now, but I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship. Plus, there isn’t anyone that I like like now. Hanae doesn’t stand out.”

The statement makes you crumble on the inside.

You idiot of a best friend. What good are you if you don’t stand up for Hanae?

But it doesn’t matter! He said he has no interest in anyone, including you. Or her. It’s pointless, futile. He never even considered you.

You’re so stupid, so worthless sometimes. You’re the worst. It doesn’t matter if you would go to the end of the world for Hajime. You have to give this up for her. Fight for her because he would never settle for someone like you.

You fight back the sob crawling in your throat, as your self-loathe and intrusive thoughts rain in. You try so hard not to let it get to you, but still-

It’s what Hanae deserves for putting up with you.

“You should give her a chance,” you force a small smile. “I mean, she’s pretty and smart, you know?”

Oikawa gives you a pitying gaze before Iwaizumi shakes his head, his cheek now pressing against his palm. “Nah. I don’t like anyone in that way now, and it’s gonna stay like that for a while, I’d think.”

He doesn’t like anyone in that way.

You shrug and nod, “Fair enough,” but your voice is so much smaller. You love Iwaizumi Hajime so much, and he’s always been your everything. From his habits to his comforting demeanor and his entire profile, he’s always infatuated you and you know that no matter how hard you deny it for anyone, you will never let go of the feelings that shackle you to him like chains.

You love him so much.

But I guess I’ll never win.

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #sorry this sucks #this is a mess

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1stunseeliefaelass · 4 years

Text

Poisoned Darts and Words

Death and Strife found themselves accosted by a group of demons, who fancied themselves clever for their ambush. Despite how Death knew they were there before they got too close to ambush site. This fight was a simple one, almost insultingly so. Strife still had fun though, as per usual. Death meanwhile took this task on with some boredom. Killing the leader of this failed attempt was a little amusing though. However, once their blood had been spilt, Strife pointed out a something on Death's neck.

"The fuck's on your neck?"

"Hmm?" Death replied confused and feeling around for the object. He found it easily enough and only chuckled, "It's just a dart. Ha! These fools actually tried to poison me."

"So you're good then?" Strife asked him.

"Should be, so long as the poison is nothing I've not built up immunity to." Death states before they went on their way.

The two brothers continued to travel on for some time. Taking a simple road to avoid too much trouble. Being in the Fae Realm usually granted them the least amount of problems to deal with. However, Death was soon faced with one such rare problem. He felt seering pain throughout his body for a brief flash of moment, accompanied by the sudden blurring of his vision. He foolishly tried ignoring it, not wanting to worry Strife. But it soon progresses, the flashes come on stronger and for longer. He also becomes disoriented and his entire body flares up with intense heat and pain. Eventually it finally begins to overtake him, he can feel himself losing consciousness slowly.

He calls to Strife in a strained voice, "S-Strife...", before falling off of Despair's saddle.

Strife of course panics at first when seeing his older brother on the ground. It doesn't help when he feels Death's body is burning up as he lets out pained breaths. He eventually lifts Death onto his shoulder and lays him onto Despair's saddle, tying him down to be sure. Then he remounts Mayhem and quickly has Despair follow behind them as they try and find a place for Death to rest. This takes time, too much in his opinion. Eventually they find a town and Strife quickly dismounts Mayhem to knock on doors.

He hears from inside one home, "Does this man think I'm stupid? I'm not opening for a Nephilim."

Strife, stung but not surprised by the words, tries elsewhere but only hears, "Be gone from here you son of a harlot! I'll not have Lilith's spawn in my home!"

"WELL FUCK YOU TOO THEN!" Strife shouted at them before searching for other places.

He found no such luck, only being met with cruel folk or racist bigots. Finally a tavern owner came out with a gun, determined to see to it that Strife and Death left their town.

"You're not welcome here Horsemen, leave."

"One, that crappy shotgun won't stop me. Two, my brother's ill. I only need to find him a safe spot to rest, and a doctor to treat him." Strife told him.

"Your presence brings nothing but fear and destruction! Why should we aid you?! Wouldn't the universe be better off without you?!" The man shouted back.

Strife hid his growing hurt and anger as best he could before telling him, "We mean no harm, I just need help for my brother. That's all."

"I won't aid any of you Nephilim, what makes you any different from your kin anyway?! What makes you lot so 'special' that we should care whether you live or die?!" The man bellowed.

"WE SERVE THE COUNCIL TO KEEP THE BALANCE IN ORDER! TO KEEP YOUR SORRY UNGRATEFUL ASSES ALIVE! Yeah it's a thankless job, and I can live with that! BUT FUCK YOU AND EVERYONE HERE! PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE IT REAL DAMN HARD TO CARE ABOUT THIS JOB! IT'S HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT YOU RACIST FUCKS INSULTING US EVERYTIME WE PASS!" Strife shouted in pure rage as he snapped at last. Only stopping his rant when feeling a familiar hand on his shoulder.

Turning around he saw Death fighting to remain standing, using Harvester to achieve it. Strife quickly grabbed him and began helping to get him back on Despair. Whilst at it, Death told him,

"Don't bother.....let's just go.....it's not worth the trouble...THEY aren't worth it...."

Strife stayed silent, only nodding after a moment of silence. Then once Death was secure again, he remounted Mayhem once more. His final words to the man came as he began to ride away with Despair following closely behind.

"Should you ever find yourselves in need of aid from anyone, don't come crying to us. People like you, aren't worth saving."

The man said nothing back surprisingly, but seemed a bit stunned by those words. As if he really should've been at all. With that, Strife hurried his pace with Despair matching it with ease. Strife ultimately brought Death to his home, a calm, humble cabin within some woods. It took even more time to get there, and at that point Death was back in his disoriented state again. Carefully Strife got Death inside and onto a couch for the time being. He then called up War and Fury for advice on what to do. Only for both of them to hurry to his home. Fury brought various remedies whilst War asked Strife how this happened. After an explanation from his older brother, War settled down and began helping Fury when asked to. Fury asked for Strife to help too, but found him sitting on a chair nearby. He'd plopped down onto it after being weighed down by the events of the night, particularly with the town. However when Fury sent War out to find a doctor as fast as possible, she asked Strife to take over helping. This he finally did, all the while feeling worthless. Fury could tell something was weighing heavy on him, but wasn't sure what to say in order to ease his pain. Assuming any words could ease the storm in his head currently.

Overtime War did return with a doctor that was willing to help, or rather just brought Azrael. Not trusting any normal doctors to do it and having no time to search. Azrael quickly found the problem and aided Fury in treating Death for it. War took the time to check on his older brother, as Strife was uncharacteristically quiet. Clearly there was more to the night that he didn't mention.

"You've been quiet."

"Oh yeah? What about it?" Strife asked him with a bit of a snap.

"Only that I know fully well that you're only this silent when something is troubling you. Is it about Death?"

Strife sighed, "Death being sick is only part of it. The town we ran into didn't help things, AT ALL."

War noted his brother's growling of the last two words and inquired, "Why remain there then? They were a waste of time. Refused to lend aid. Why not just move on?"

"BECAUSE WHAT THEY KEPT SAYING BOTHERED ME OK!" Strife snapped at him.

Fury and Azrael both turned around briefly to glance his way. Fury herself looked surprised by that and dared to ask, "Strife, what do you mean?"

"Come on sis you know EXACTLY what I mean! All the shit we hear from people on a daily basis, it was all in one place tonight! Got to hear it all from one man in fact! Course I've no doubt that the rest of the damn town felt the same way about us! I just got tired of hearing it! I wanted to set the record straight! To shut em up somehow!" Strife yelled as he paced the room.

Azrael sighed, feeling he had little room to speak on such things. He still decided to say something at least, even if it wasn't much help, "Strife, I fear you may always face such cruelty from others. Just remember that ultimately words hold no meaning when ignored outright. Focus on the good, on your family."

Strife stopped pacing and after a moment of tense silence, slammed his fist into a wall. War placed a hand on his shoulder, "If you need time to blow off steam, I can spar with you outside."

"Nah man, I don't wanna hurt you by accident. Too angry. Just need to go relax or something."

With that Strife went upstairs to try and sleep it off. Only to forget that sleeping while angry is a bad idea. His night is a long one for sure. And mixed with his concerns about Death, it just made it nearly impossible to sleep at all. The next day, he got up exhausted in more ways than one. Death was already awake, feeling better as his body was finally healing itself. Azrael wasn't around, and Strife expected as much.

Seeing his younger brother's exhaustion he inquired, "Strife, are you alright?"

Strife froze a second before looking up to see Death awake, "Why ask that?"

Death just shook his head, "You look worse than I do. Are you that worried about me? If so I'm doing fine. Should be well within a day or two in fact."

"It's not just that. Last night was just....overwhelming."

"Ah, I see. You shouldn't let what they said bother you so much. As I told you, it's not worth it." Death stated calmly.

"It's hard to keep ignoring it, when you hear it as much as me." Strife told him sounding a bit depressed.

Death didn't know what to say for a while, then finally said, "You said our work is thankless, however that's not entirely true."

"You don't know that for sure."

Chuckling Death replied, "Actually I do know for certain. You see Strife, we can still thank each other for many things. In fact, thank you for making sure I was treated. Even if the journey wasn't pleasant to go through."

Strife simply told him, "We're brothers, I'll always have your back. You know that. Even if you piss me off sometimes."

"And I'll always cover your back if need be. Just know that much, no matter who says anything bad about us, or what you hear everyday."

Strife smiled at that, "Thanks bro, I needed that."

"Also, if you need to vent, just come talk to me. I'll listen for as long as you want me to. If it means you don't get overwhelmed anymore, I'll do it." Death said with a slight warmth to his tone.

"Yeah, I think I'll do that. Thanks man, seriously. But what if you're busy?"

"Then ask Fury or War. I'm sure they'll let you vent to them too. Now then, shall we get breakfast started?"

"I can manage, you stay put over there. You still got some healing to do." Strife tells him simply.

"Very well."

#Darksiders #Darksiders Fandom #Darksiders Scenarios #Death #Strife #Fury #War #Azrael #Possibly Uncomfortable Topics Ahead

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shigarakis-fifth-hand · 4 years

Text

Mha x Reader Headcanons

Anonymous said:

Can you do a scenario or headcanon (whatever you prefer) with Mirio, Kirishima and Jirou? How they react seeing their crush in school after an wild erotic dream they had the past night xd

Mirio

His dreams had been getting worse throughout the week... or had they been getting better? He knew that he shouldn’t be thinking such thoughts, but how could he not when you passed him in the hallway, and all he could think about was how nice you had looked under him last night.

He pinned you against the wall, kissing your neck while his thigh pressed in between your bare legs. The slick on your thigh dripped on him, making his erection go crazy against you. God you looked so beautiful, his hand in your hair as your mouth on his, hickeys trailing down your beautiful body. He could only imagine how amazing he would feel in real life.

God, what was he thinking? You were innocent, and one of his friends. You had done charity work with him, and he often went to see you at the barista job you worked at. How could he think such things about you?

“Mirio?? Mirio...” You snapped your fingers in front of his face, trying to get his attention. “W-what. Oh, sorry Y/n.” He tried to smile, but you were more confused by the large blush on his face. “Are you okay? You didn’t answer my call this morning, and you have heavy circles under your eyes. Are you sleeping well?” You asked as he couldn’t help but give a small smirk.

“I’ve been sleeping great, trust me. You don’t need to worry about me.” He gave you a thumbs up that you smiled back at... your beautiful smile. “Awesome. I need to get to class early to help Sensei with planning the school festival. Tell me if I can help you with anything. I’ll do it.”

As you walked off, Mirio couldn’t help but stare at you. Surely you had meant anything in an innocent way, but Mirio was far was innocent, especially when it came to you. He spent the next few minutes at his locker, trying to pull his mind together as images of you played in his mind.

What could he do? What could he say? Who could he go to? Tamaki would die if he told him, and Nejire was a girl. What an awkward conversation that would be... He decided to confront you, or at least, ask you out. Surely you would say yes, right? Sure you would... maybe not. Maybe you didn’t like him at all, or would see him as creepy.

Maybe it would ruin your friendship, and you’d never be able to talk to him again without feeling awkward. He couldn’t risk that, but he was also going to die if he didn’t confront these dreams. He obviously had feelings about you, so now it was just a question of what to do with these feelings. He couldn’t just ignore them by this point.

He walked to the classroom, knowing that it was early and that you’d be there with Present Mic. Maybe he could talk to you there. But as he walked in, he saw that it was only you. “Hey Miri! What’s up?” You saw him immediately, as you were sitting on one of the desks, kicking your legs forwards and back. “O-oh, I was looking for you actually. Where’s Sensei?” He asked as you just smiled, continuing to write in your planner.

“He had to go get papers from the printer. He said it broke so I’m not sure how long he’ll be. You were looking for me? Do you need something?” You asked, your eyes big and glittering with curiosity. “U-um, ya. I... I’d like to ask you out.” It was now or never for Mirio. Your face froze, scanning his face for any hint that he was joking. “Oh god, um, never mind. Haha, gotcha! I was just-” He stopped, seeing you smile and blush.

“I’m guessing Mirio and Tamaki told you huh? I knew those two would spill.” You whispered, blushing from embarrassment as you looked at the ground. “W-what? No, they didn’t tell me anything. Does that mean you...” Y/n looked up at him, smiling. “I feel the same way Miri.” The two smiled at each other, before Mirio’s eyes opened wide.

“Before... before class starts... can I try something?” He asked as Y/n looked at him confused and curious, nodding slowly. Slowly, Mirio leaned in and kissed her lips softly. It was slow, sweet, and very romantic. They only separated when they heard the footsteps of Present Mic and his humming in the hallways. Mirio sat next to her, and they began to laugh, making up a fake conversation to hide their past actions.

“Oh, hey Togata. Y/n, I got the papers so after class I can send them home with you and you can edit them. How are you doing Togata?” He asked Mirio as he just shrugged, blushing and hoping that he didn’t have lip gloss on his lips. “Well that’s nice. Oh Y/n, you have some drool on the side of you cheek”

Kirishima

Eijiro woke up in the middle of the night in a cold, hard sweat. His erection was hard as ever, and images of you couldn’t stop playing in his mind.

You were under him, a moaning mess as he fucked you senseless. Overstimulating you, your thighs shook as you felt your third orgasm coming on. “D-daddy, please.” You begged as he bent down to kiss you, you finally reaching your climax as his passionate French kisses drowned out your sounds. He loved every bit of it, kissing all around your body as you fell limb, exhausted from the past hour.

“You did amazing Babygirl. You’re so perfect.” And you were... perfect. Your hair was messy and you looked overwhelmed, but you had never looked better. You were gorgeous, sweet, smart, powerful, and beyond the most amazing girl in UA. Kirishima couldn’t believe that he had gotten you.

Until he woke up and realized that he didn’t have you. It made him sad, and he had to forget these thoughts. He got up from his bed, grabbed the empty water glass on his nightstand, and walked to the kitchen. With his airpods in his ears, he was unaware to his surroundings as he filled up the cup, blasting heavy rock in his ears.

But as he turned, he stepped back to see you balled up on the couch, hugging your knees and zoning off into the distance, crying. What the hell were you doing up so late? What kind of coincidence was this? As soon as he saw you, you saw him. Without being able to control his body, he ran to you and enveloped you in a hug as you did the same. He rubbed your back and did everything to comfort you.

“Depression is a bitch Eiji.” You whispered as he nodded, understanding now what you were doing out here. “It’s okay. I’m here for you.” You two stood there for a minute, until he sat you down and had you tell him everything. You told him about how you didn’t believe that you were strong enough to become a hero, and that you didn’t deserve anything good that had happened to you.

“No no no, Y/n.” He smiled at you, instantly making you feel better and your insides feel warm. “You’re amazing. You’re beautiful and sweet, and everyone who meets you absolutely adores you. I hope you understand how perfect you are.” You looked up at him as he wiped a tear from your face.

The night ended up with you two hugging, and then him walking you to your room. The next few days went on like this, until you eventually caught feelings for him as well.

“H-hey guys, can I talk to Y/n for a minute?” Mina, Ochako, Asui, Momo, and Jirou all looked at him, before walking away, leaving you and him alone. “What’s up Kiri?” You asked, smiling as you stood up. “I was wondering if you wanted to go out... with me... tonight?” He asked as your eyes opened wide, glittering with happiness. “Yes, of course I would!” You hugged him, before looking behind you two to see Denki and Bakugo, Denki cheering loudly and Bakugo trying to shut him up with punches to the stomach.

“Ignore them.” Kiri whispered as you giggled, kissing his cheek. “What time?”

Jirou

Jirou’s dream was the worst/best of all.

She had you tied up with ropes around your wrists as you two made out furiously, her fingering you while you became a moaning mess. “Jiri... please. Harder!” You screamed out as Jirou smirked, pushing her fingers deeper inside of you before you reached your climax. As you moaned and yelled out her name, she undid the restraints and pinned up under her as she sucked all over your body, leaving bright purple, tender hickeys. “Jiri... everyone will see those.” You whispered as she smiled, kissing your collarbone. “I know baby.”

When she woke up, she was in the middle of class, Aizawa teaching in the front and you shaking her. “Jiri, you okay? You were talking in your sleep.” You explained as she blushed, almost falling out of her chair as she freaked out. “W-w-what did I say?!” She asked as you just shrugged, before looking back up at the teacher. “I couldn’t hear, it was all mumbled. Mr. Aizawa was about to yell at you though.” You smiled at her before focusing on the teacher once more.

Jirou blushed, hiding her face as she looked away from you. The rest of the class went terrible for Jirou. All she could imagine the entire time was you, under her control as she kissed you. God she wanted you more than anything in the entire world. How was someone allowed to be so god damn perfect and not be hers? You were single, and bisexual! Goddddddd, she had an issue.

“Now go change into your hero suits and meet me out in the field.” Aizawa instructed as you hopped up, linking arms with Jirou and Mina like usual. “You didn’t miss much babe, we’re just going to be showing Present Mic and Aizawa how our suits help us use our quirk or moves better.” Mina explained, before running off to tell Mina something.

“So, any plans this weekend? I still want to go to that musical concert with you if you aren’t too tired for it.” You teased as you entered the locker rooms, grabbing your hero suit out of your locker room and beginning to change. Jirou couldn’t help but glance over as you took off your shirt, and began struggling with your bra. “H-hey, Jirou. Can you help me?” You gestured to the buckle on the back of your bra with your hand.

Jirou nodded, swallowing nervously as she began sweating. It was obvious that you needed a sports bra when you wore your hero suit, but Jirou forgot how she usually helped you reach with your short arms. As she did it, you thanked her, beginning to turn around before you made eye contact with her.

In that moment, the two of you couldn’t contain yourselves as Jirou slammed her lips into yours, passionately kissing you and biting your lip. Looking around, Jirou slowly pushed you into the stall nearby and closed it. In the moment, you both were making out furiously, as if all the sexual tension between you two was melting off and being used in that exact moment. So much lust, and so many feelings.

“Jiri, Y/n? Come on, let’s go!” It was Mina. Inside the stall, Jirou pulled on her suit and then slowly helped you into yours. “Let’s finish this after school in your dorm?” Jirou asked into your ear as you nodded, goosebumps forming all over your body. So fucking hot...

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harryscumcloth · 5 years

Text

Mister and Missus Maybe

This was inspired by a dear friend of mine. Someone I relate to in many ways. I absolutely adore you. I dedicate this to you as anonymous. Warnings: angst, anxiety, depression

“Baby, I don’t think you should leave.” You say as if you are pre warning him. There is an awful feeling deep in your gut that you cannot admit to him at this point. This is the time when you need him most.

“It’s going to be fine, babe. I promise.” He comes to a halt packing his small luggage that is set on the edge of the bed. “Everything is going to be fine.” His attempt to coerce you into believing that everything would be fine, failed as usual.

He adds the last few items before zipping up and dropping it to the floor beside him. “Beth is coming, right?” He shakes his wrist around for the face of his watch to be visible.

You didn't have the courage to tell him that you never called Beth. “Um, yeah. She should be here any minute now.” You didn’t want to be alone, but the voice in your head convinced you that you should be.

“I have to get going love. Mitch is waiting outside.” He draws you into one of his famous, heartwarming hugs. The one that everyone yearns for. “I love you baby.” His face disappears into the crook of your neck, holding you extra tight.

You feel your eyes brimming with tears as he presses a gentle kiss to your temple, then another to your forehead, and lastly to your lips.

You’re afraid to speak because you know your voice will crack and you won’t be able to hold the tears back, so you just squeeze him tighter.

He turns to face you once more, while walking out of the door. “Next time that I see you, you will be mine forever. Mrs. Styles.” He grips your hand and pulls it to his mouth and leaves small peppered kisses across it.

You’re almost disappointed that he wasn’t able to recognize the signs that were showing prior to him leaving. You try to persuade yourself that he knows you. He knows you. You will be okay. Eventually, you thought.

You lounge on the sofa for the last half of the day. Nothing but darkness surrounds you. All you can hear is the sound of the ceiling fan ticking and it’s driving you mad. A nice, hot bath might help, you thought.

The claw foot tub filled with steaming hot water, along with a cloud of bubbles floating on the surface. You sink your body deep into the water, leaving only your head out.

Although you usually prefer the quiet, it seems too much at this moment. The sound of Harry’s feet pattering across the floor isn’t there. The sound of him harshly writing in the notepad, isn’t there. The clanking of the dishes during his late night cooking didn’t fill every room in the house. Worst of all, the sound of his voice isn’t there.

The overwhelming feeling of loneliness washes over you, leaving you feeling frail and stuck. You don’t understand why you do this to yourself. You never let anyone know when a spell is coming. You want to face it on your own for some strange reason.

The water turns ice cold after hours of laying in it. A comparison to what you are going through at this moment is like having a cinder block placed on your chest. Not able to breathe properly. Which leads to you not being able to think straight. Eventually, you reach for the phone, clicking his name. It rings quite a bit before his voice fills your ears.

“Baby, what is it?” His sleepy tone is hard to decipher. You don’t speak. You can’t speak. There’s a lump the size of a baseball in your throat. Your body is so numb, but your mind is racing faster than ever before. All he can hear are the soft whimpers that echo throughout the bathroom. “I’m coming baby, hold on for me.” You detect the panic rise in his voice as he tells you to stay on the phone.

It seems like an eternity before he arrives. He talked to you the entire ride back. He even sang for you. A gush of tears fell from your eyes when you heard the fast sound of his shoes smacking against the floor as he dashed into the bathroom. He’s absolutely heartbroken at the sight of you. Your eyes are swollen two times of their normal size. Your nose is all stuffy and draining and it’s actually quite gross, but he doesn’t mind it. He shows his frustration as he lets the water down the drain. It was only supposed to be for a day. One whole day and you couldn’t make it that long.

He gathers the blankets from the bed and pulls them into the bathroom. “I’m here baby.” He begins to slide every article of clothing off of his body. “Here, look.” He says as he steps in the bathtub lifting you forward while he slips in behind you, covering you both completely. The wetness is uncomfortable for the both of you at first, but you adjust quickly.

The sounds of humming fills your ears as he holds you close, gently rocking side to side. He knows you well enough to know that skin to skin is a primary solution for one of your spells.

You lay in this position for a while, until your mind becomes exhausted, letting you fall asleep. He’s able to let his tears fall now. It doesn’t only affect you, it affects him also. He’s never felt so heavy in his life, but it’s something he chose to deal with when he asked you to marry him.

You’ve practically known each other your entire lives, and that’s how he knew you were the one, despite your flaws. He loves you unconditionally. Harry shows you every minute that you are with him, that he loves you. But that voice in your head won’t let you believe it. It haunts you like a black cloud that is constantly over you saying no.

The early morning light wakes you, making you wonder where you are. Your eyes wander around the room before your body is able to move. You lift yourself from Harry’s grip, carefully climbing out. “Babe?” You shake him with ease as you stand over him. His eyes slowly flutter open to reveal a better you.

He grips the sides of the bathtub, helping himself get out. “How are you feeling today love?” His arms wrapped around you once again, making you feel better instantly. “I’m sorry..” you whimper into his chest. He rubs circles into your back with his hand, still holding you close. “It’s okay baby.” He leaves a kiss to the top of your head. “You’re fine.”

He spends the first hour giving you the love that you need to make it through the day. You explained what happened with Beth and why you never called for her. He’s angry about it at first, but he accepts the fact that it’s technically not your fault.

***

You find yourself being overwhelmed by the amount of people hired to prep you for your wedding. It’s a medium sized room, but it doesn’t seem to be enough air for everyone to share. You’re being tugged in different directions until the final touch.

The veil.

It is placed on strategically in your hair, set to cover your face. The level of your anxiety has been lowered due to the adrenaline rushing through your veins. You link arms with your father as the piano begins to be played. You follow his lead down the aisle, gripping him close. You have already begun to cry, but luckily it isn’t so noticeable, thanks to the waterproof makeup.

As you near Harry at the end, your body trembles. Your legs quiver uncontrollably while you try to keep steady in heels. The thought of running away occurs more than once during the walk, but you convince yourself that this is what you want. And it is what you want, but it’s not going to fix you. Nothing can.

Your father kisses your cheek, then sends you up the steps to stand face to face with Harry. He’s an emotional wreck. More so than you actually. His hands connect with yours, rubbing his thumbs over the tops.

The priest starts the ceremony, repeating the script he is reading from.

“Harry, would you like to start?” The priest asks.

“Of course.” He gazes straight into your eyes and begins to read from his memory. “I’ve had this memorized for weeks now.” He gives a nervous laugh. “You are single handedly, the best thing to ever happen to me. I would be nowhere without you. You’ve supported me throughout my entire career and I can never thank you enough baby. I love you more than life itself, and I will love you forever, no matter what.” His voice starts to shake. “I will give you my all.”

The tears are falling from your eyes uncontrollably as your turn comes. You feel as if your stomach could empty it’s contents right here and now.

“You are the true definition of an angel sent from heaven above. You’ve been nothing but great to me all of these years, even when we were children. You are the love of my life, a true partner, and a man that I will honor for the rest of my life.” “You,” you add emphasis to the word ‘you’, “are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am forever thankful you chose me.” You are full on sobbing at the realization of your future. A happy sob.

“We are gathered together here to unite this man Harry Edward Styles and this woman (y/f/n) in the bonds of matrimony.

“Do you take (y/n) to be your lawfully wedded wife?

His dimples appear as his smile grows wider. “I do your honor.”

The priest turns to you.

“Do you take Harry to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” you manage to say through the sobs.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

He lifts your veil to reveal your tear stained face, thinking you have never looked more beautiful than you do in this very moment. He carefully pulls your face to his and places the warmest, most loving kiss you have ever experienced upon your lips.

#harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles love #harry styles #harry styles x you #anxiety #depression #harry styles wedding

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dopescotlandwarrior · 5 years

Text

Someone like you-Chapter 34

On AO3

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Chapter 34

The chilly air was invigorating as we made our way to the bridal shop. I prayed that Jenny would not want further details about sex between Jamie and me because he was her brother and that was just weird.

The owner asked us to sit and chat for a few minutes while her assistants were pulling the dresses she wanted to show us. She asked me tons of questions about Jamie, what we both did for a living, and for fun. I didn’t think the questions were intended for anything because they seemed so random. When the assistants came in with dresses she sent half of them back pulled three to the dressing room and the rest on racks nearby.

“Alright," she looked at me smiling. "You can look all you want but I believe the three I’ve chosen will be your favorites. Call when you need assistance.”

“Out of the thousand or so dresses in this place how could she know yer three favorites?”

I shrugged my shoulders at Jenny’s whispered question. I believed it was a sales technique of some sort. My taste was off the beaten path, always had been, no way she could target my style. I looked at the vast number of dresses that hung near the huge dressing room and thought I better get started.

I looked at the three bridal gowns and my first thought was the absurdity that I would choose one of these and actually marry the man who stole my heart when I was ten years old. I felt tears pricking my eyes and resisted the urge to pinch myself. The gowns were stunning and I was very careful touching them. I pulled my clothes off and tried to find a zipper or buttons to put the first one on. After five minutes I was getting cold so I called Jenny to come in.

“Christ Claire, put my jacket on before ye freeze to death. I think I got it, no that’s not it. Edith, we need ye help with this.”

It was the owner who came in, still smiling, and offered to help. “Arms up lass.”

The fabric of the dress slid down my body and legs feeling like a cool slippery second skin. I have a theory about the perfect dress and it has proven right every time. When the dress feels like it was made for you, sums up your personality and goals you have for the event you buy it. This was the dress I would be married in, I knew it as it slipped onto my body, and I was delighted with it.

“Lass, I dinna ken what to say. It’s breathtakin, you’re beautiful in it, Jamie will have a heart attack when he sees ye in it.”

Heavy lace sleeves from my wrist to five inches below my shoulder attached to the heart-shaped bodice that was close fitted and decorated with thousands of hand-sewn pearls. The skirt was two layers with a modest flair. The owner went to get a stiff slip and the fabric fell onto it like a whisper. Jenny had a strange look on her face and pulled my arm so I would turn around to look in the mirror. I have never felt so elegant or had such a beautiful dress in my life. The tears would not be held back and I looked at the owner like she was magic.

“How could you possibly know?”

“It’s my job to see the person inside, and I’ve been dressing brides for thirty years.”

The owner explained the heavy lace sleeves would add some warmth for my winter wedding. I turned around to see the sharp dip to my waist, exposing my back. Keep me warm indeed, I thought. Next, we lost ourselves in gorgeous silk stockings, garter belts, tiny panties, and stunning shoes. I chose the highest heel she had because I wanted to look in Jamie’s eyes whenever I turned in his direction.

I watched Edith and Jenny with a keen eye and noticed what they drooled over. I let the owner know I would pick up those items tomorrow as Christmas presents and to please set them aside for me. I could not help seeing Edith’s eyes land on a beautiful beaded clutch. She did not touch it but her gaze landed on it several times. I indicated to the shop owner I would take that as well.

After three hours we piled out of the shop completely exhausted. Jenny went her separate way to do Christmas shopping and I drove Edith home. The sky was hosting large swollen black clouds and I saw the lights on Edith’s house from a block away. It made me happy inside that I had a friend like Edith who taught me how to cook, got me to therapy, loved my dog and my husband to be, and embraced my whole family. I helped her inside and hugged her.

“I love you, Edith, thank you for spending such an amazing day with me.”

“We will see you on Christmas dear and I will bring some things.”

I laughed at that. Some things meant an entire meal that would be remembered throughout the year. I turned my pockets inside out to show the Butter-lovers he was not sequestered against his will and they lost all interest in me walking to his bed with their tiny hearts broken.

“Maybe it’s time to have Butter for a play day,” she said looking at her depressed pugs.

A last hug and I was homeward bound with a deep sigh of relief. I was getting married on Hogmanay and it would be a day to remember. I needed my groom in a big way.

When I turned onto the road to Lallybroch I saw a man and a dog in a far-field. The dog was running to him after retrieving a stick when he suddenly dropped it in the snow and looked at the man. It was Butter, my favorite dog who never found the value in an old stick. I looked beyond the confused K-9 and saw Jamie waving his arms at me. I parked and walked across the field, first to be assaulted by Butter, and then Jamie. His blue eyes sparkled against the snow-covered field and his smile was brilliant.

We walked home to a warm fire and a few hours to binge Netflix before dinner. Since we were alone in the house we stretched out on the couch and spent a relaxing minute and a half and then gave in to the naughty arousal of making love in the living room where we could be caught by Jenny or Ian returning home. I decided risky sex was delicious and put a star next to it on my types of sex mental list. No sooner did we dress than I heard the kitchen door slam and Jenny’s voice say something about dinner. I smiled at Jamie and he acknowledged the close call as he pulled me on his lap and tickled me.

“Oh Christ, ye two are making me sick. I am goin to lay down before dinner, I’m sure ye can get by an hour without me.”

Jamie sat at the kitchen table working on the renovation drawings while I got a pork roast ready for the oven. I made rice pilaf and a broccoli casserole and looked over Jamie’s shoulder asking questions. I was so excited about this renovation. We would have the entire upstairs, including the huge bathroom and tub, a room for the nursery that could later be divided for a second child and Jenny’s old room to create whatever we wanted. It was a glorious amount of space and freedom to raise our family. Jenny and Ian would enjoy the same luxury a level below us.

“Why didn’t we think of this before! I am so happy and excited and you are brilliant, can’t wait and I love you and…”

I had dropped into Jamie’s lap halfway through my happiness tirade and he seized the only way I had to communicate my joy. He moaned against my mouth and pulled me closer to him.

“I decided on a pork roast because I learned in nursing school that pork has special … rejuvenation …um …enzymes that target…” I inclined my head toward Jamie’s crotch. His eyes got wide and he looked down at his lap and then smiled like the devil himself.

“Sassenach, you are such a delight and yer learning such important things. I am a lucky man.” His smile was so big he could hardly kiss me.

Crap. It was supposed to be a joke but he didn’t laugh. Hm, I vowed to tell him someday so it wasn’t really lying and now I had pork in my bag of seduction tricks. Sorry, Jamie but you are just too adorable right now and I sense another hour of percolation and you will cripple me tonight. Oh, Christ, we may cripple each other. I turned the oven temperature up fifty degrees.

Dinner was perfect thanks to Edith’s secrets. I thought about tuition for the private Culinary Institute and how many students learned from her each semester. It was a staggering amount of money because they recruited the best chefs to teach. That made me giggle because I have her all to myself every Saturday. Jamie leaned into my ear as I popped a piece of pork in my mouth. I blushed at his whispered suggestion and smiled despite myself.

Jenny pointed her fork at me, then Jamie, “I’m gonna kill one of ya in yer sleep and I love ya both the same so it’ll be a coin toss. I canna get any peace wonderin what’s goin on in there so it’s been nice knowin one of ye.”

“Jenny, my back is sore from all the standing today. Do you mind if I use your tub tonight?”

“Yer a terrible liar and ye know yer welcome to all that I have if ye do my share of dishes tonight. I don’t feel that great.”

Jamie was doing his magic table-clearing act where all the dishes suddenly vanish from the table and appear in the sink, stacked for quick washing. Ian jumped to aid Jenny so it was just me and the adorable one. He kissed my neck as I powered through the washing.

“Sassenach, I must advise ye of the danger yer in. It feels like fifty horses are draggin me to bent ye over right where ye stand. Have mercy and show ye love by gettin in the tub if ye must. I’ll no wait much longer.”

He pulled my hand to his crotch and I squeaked quite involuntarily. So, the Blue Whale is not extinct after all and I must upgrade the potential danger to crippled for life. I decided I didn’t need the use of my legs anyway. I tried to kiss him and struggled for his mouth as he spun me and gently pushed me out of the kitchen.

“If yer not in bed naked when I get upstairs I’ll have ye where I find ye mo chridhe. I ate entirely too much pork I think.”

I was stuck looking at him being so sexy and saw his eyes get dark saying time is up, here I come. I vanished from the kitchen and my hands shook as I dropped into the hot water. I lit the fire after stacking three logs that erupted in flame casting a romantic glow in the room. I never tired of how the fire threw dancing light on Jamie’s skin as he moved causing a thrill when parts of his body were revealed. I pulled the bedding down so it would not hinder our movement.

Jamie gave me a total girl gift when the weather got cold. A floor-length transparent robe made from exquisite soft fabric, huge sleeves, and yards of material that was belted. When I touched the fur that ran around the collar and down the front I recoiled believing it was real until Jamie showed me the tag that said simulated mink. It was my guilty pleasure and his ignition switch.

Jamie came in and looked at me like a starving man. Without a word, he disappeared to the shower and cut his impressive time by a full minute. He wrapped his naked body around me and my fingers raked through his wet hair.

“Would you like a glass of whisky love?”

“Nah, I want yer forgiveness. This will no end soon, mo gradhag, and I’ll be lucky to get a full minute of tenderness in before I take what I want from ye. Give me yer mouth Sassenach.”

My two orgasms were award winners but I stayed quiet by holding my hand tightly against my mouth. I’m not sure it worked because on the orgasm planet I visit I have no ears. Just vibrating nerve endings that sing a song of pulsing delight. When I leave and come back to earth my ears are always attached to my head again so I can hear Jamie growl and pant as he rides his wave of euphoria.

This amazing day had ripped the energy and strength from me. I was descending into the void so fast I grabbed Jamie’s arm as if to stop myself. His hand was splayed on my still flat stomach and he was asking me why there was no bump. I looked from his hand to his eyes and felt my heart explode. I told him quickly how much I loved him and tried a second time to form the actual words that still didn’t sound right. Jamie laughed and pulled me to him as he reached for the light.

I ascended into consciousness slowly seeing the light of day behind my closed eyelids. This was one of my favorite times of the day as I became aware of the world again. I yawned deeply and twisted to the other side running right into Jamie. My eyes flew open at this unexpected obstacle in my morning bed. He moved slightly but otherwise continued to sleep. I wanted to jump up and down and clap my hands at this rare surprise to enjoy a Sunday morning lounging with my favorite person. I snuggled into him and went back to whatever plane I woke from.

Sometime later, I took a deep breath and let his scent fill my nose and lungs, feeling it energize me. He kissed my face over and over again until I was fully conscious.

“Ye have the prettiest eyes God ever gave a lass. Tell me what great things ye did in heaven to win them mo chridhe.”

I pushed myself up knowing my hair was acting out a riot and smiled at him. “Jamie?”

“lass?”

“You need to tell me something important, to get it off your chest, so to speak.”

Jamie said nothing but stared at my eyes and shook his side to side.

I brought my face within an inch of his and looked in his eyes. “You have the eyes of someone who adop0ted a kitten on impulse, so tell me where it is so Butter doesn’t eat it accidentally.”

Jamie was blushing crimson and laughing. He finally stood up and went into the hall then pushed a large box into our room. I realized it was a sixty-inch smart tv and called out every ounce of inner strength not to jump on the bed and demand he set it up and turn it on. We were a bit frugal, all of us sharing a single television that his parents owned.

“I was gonna give it to ye for Christmas but that would be a mistake, I think.”

“I don’t know about that, I can get your present ready …I just have to catch it and hold it still while I wrap it.”

“Yer givin me one of yer chickens for Christmas Sassenach?”

“No fair guessing, you have to wait and be surprised.”

“Lucky for the chicken, I dinna give ye the tv for Christmas.” He looked at me and the energy changed abruptly as stared back at him.

“I got ye, us, a honeymoon to remember, love.” He pulled an envelope from the top of the TV box and handed it to me.”

I turned it upside down and let the contents land on the bed as my eyes saw brochure pictures that made my heart pound. “We’re going to the Bahamas!”

I jumped on Jamie screaming with delight. He didn’t grab me fast enough so I escaped to jump on the bed, butt naked, still screaming with delight. “Tell me more!”

When he was silent I looked down at him watching my breasts bounce with my efforts. I dropped to the bed and pulled him on top of me. I felt him hard and large through his sweat pants and pushed them down over his magnificent butt. I was naked and squirming under him as I kissed him hard.

“It’s gentleman’s choice until noon and I am a slave to your pleasure Jamie.” I opened my mouth suggestively. Jamie whispered his instructions for an erotic experience that charged my batteries and made them explode. He told me where to put my tongue, how to slide it around his sensitive head, how to lay my tongue flat against him and let him pump my mouth. He stopped to say something and I saw his eyes lose focus. I shoved him in my mouth, to my throat and heard him groan loudly for what seemed like a full minute. While I was still swallowing I heard skin slapped.

“Fuckin Jamie!” Ian sounded like he would barge in our room and choke him to death.

As we struggled to stop laughing I remembered Jenny`s wicked sense of fair play, payback, and revenge. She was a master at tit-for-tat. I wondered what she will expose me to when I`m nine months pregnant. I scowled at Jamie and suggested he stop laughing.

#outlander fanfiction outlander fanfic jamie and claire

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