#i dont know if this was real or just a web series but i remember this one video of a guy who couldnt sleep as a side effect of this medicin

[acornmoment]

Thormoor must feel like a snake with freshly shed skin after being awake for 6 months straight.

#if you have dead skin on your forehead just go to sleep an hour earlier or so #we dont really think about it but sleep deprivation slowly kills you and one of the first things to happen is that dead skin thing #i dont know if this was real or just a web series but i remember this one video of a guy who couldnt sleep as a side effect of this medicin #he was taking as recommended by his boss and he was shaking and breathing heavy and you could practically peel the skin off his face it #had gotten so bad #anyway that image lives in my head forever now #rey plays morrowind #rey gets distracted

[qnatoslimesandfriends]

Meet me better!

Name: Berry

Age: Minor

Gender: Enby ☝️

Pronouns: He/Him/They/Them/Xe/Xim/Xey/Xem/Berry/Berries

Languages I talk: Spanish [si, hablo español] English [yea I talk english], learning French, Chezch and Japanese

Personality: ENFP-T

Zodiac: Capricorn

Birthday: 6th of January, nobody remembered haha

Im an neurodivergent kid [ADHD + Autism, diagnosed at 6 yro haha ☠️] so I might not understand at all some things haha, and bTw, when needed please use tone tags

LIKES:

cats

wolves

drawing

writting

reading

hearing music

making videos

playing videogames

doing roleplay

Dream SMP

Just Shapes and Beats

Among Us [kinda]

FNF

Anime [later I’ll put which ones]

FUEGO TRILOGY OF JOANA MARCUS1&:!

my friends ¡!

DISLIKES

hard noises

horror movies

zombies

being aparted off

screams

police / ambulance alarms

waking up early

doing [some] chores

being punished

my parents [I’ll add more to this later]

the Homophobes and transphobes

bad people

DNI:

Homophobic, racist, etc.

Pro-shipper w/ exceptions [let’s aclare something; I DONT care if you’re pro shipper, but the exception is if you ship such as incest or things as that, I won’t tolerate it]

bots or nsfw

posting about autism is bad and should be eliminated [yea things as that makes me uncomfortable]

hate comments

Spam to your blog, web, etc.

Problematic fan [aka: you do things that make me uncomfortable]

”AI art isn’t art” go fuck of my profile. NOW. ☠️ [AI art keeps being art even if you don’t like]

”Trans people aren’t real people” GO AND FUCK OF MY PROFILE RIGHT NOW ☠️

“neurodivergent people are just mentally regressed” l

thin ice

Bluey fandom [i enjoy the serie but fandom is going wild]

NSFW artists [it depends a lot of what you draw]

Anti-furries [i dislike just a bit the furry fandom, but I can’t hate them at all]

DSMP “normal fandom” [like toxic ships, problematic things, etc.]

People over +18 [even if I enjoy a lot being with older - same aged people, I won’t tolerate a +18 person that will hate me or do weird things]

people that draws art of my TW [i don’t enjoy at my tw, but if you do it a bit, Is okay! Bit if is with the purpose of making me feel uncomfy I’ll block you ☠️]

PLEASE INTERACT I HAVE NO FRIENDS HAHA /j😸:

People with DID / OSDD [i want to know a lot about this disorder so please interact !! But be ready for a lot of asks haha]

DSMP “not normal fandom” [like those that just enjoy the roleplaying and fanfics and those things with no toxic things,, PLS INTERACT]

writters, artists and lettering enjoyers [mo explaining why the last one is here]

LGBTQIA+ people [here I accept everyone !]

neurodivergent people !

Hispanic people

People with same interests

PEOPLE THAT HAS C A T S 😸 /hj

Videogame + anime roleplayers

roleplayers haha

people that is open to talk any day

TW:

Graphic Bløod

Jumpscaręs

Graphic distortionated faces

Destroying personal things [cellphone, pc, my drawings]

sarcasm

dęad

self hurtįng

suįcidę

childhøod memøries

[public-trans-it]

TMA Season 1

Just wrapped up Season 1 and HOLY FUCK THIS SHOW IS INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. HOLY FUCK.

Obviously, major spoilers ahead.

So, Jane Prentis is dead. The Hive probably is not. The Spiders are connected to the hive but I dont think are part of it? I think they are an enemy of the hive. They feed on the worms, and one of them alerted Jon to presence of the hive by forcing him to kill it (?) and breaking the wall. That doesn’t sound like something the hive would want. So probably two different entities there.

Sasha is DEAD QUESTION MARK? Maybe? One of the shapeshifters who was studying anatomy has taken her place, and that is MAYBE what Michael was.

List of recurring entities we know of so far:

The Hive (Infested Jane Prentis who is now dead. The Hive itself might not be)

Spiders (May be part of the hive, or may be the natural enemy of the hive)-

Spooky Tree Demon (The demon/ghost/whatever that was in the spooky tree outside that one construction site, that possessed that priest)

Vampires (Assuming the family that was weird about corpses was also vampires, maybe?)

Meat

That one Ghost Hunter sound chick who was abducted by the Anglerfish maybe???

Book Dude (Litner I think?)

Some kind of fire entity related to eyes

Another entity related to CLOSED eyes. Has only shown up once but MAY be the same as the one above? Different facets of the same thing?

Shapeshifter People which are MAYBE related to the hypnotic table with the square hole in it?

Yeah I wouldn’t have remembered that last part but when the series draws attention to “HEY THIS WAS A THING THAT CAME UP BEFORE YOU SHOULD TAKE AN OPPORTUNITY TO RELISTEN TO THE SERIES DURING THE BREAK UNTIL THE NEXT EPISODE COMES OUT.” I just check the wiki. Avoiding spoilers as much as possible, but if its actively calling attention to it I’m gonna double check the summaries of past episodes.

My biggest complaint about the series was that the whole reason this is done on tape recorder is because all attempts to digitize these statements have failed. And yet the main character was a fucking skeptic? What?

Like, I liked it at first. The dry professionalism was a nice touch, and it made a great contrast to when he just goes “OH ITS THIS SHIT AGAIN” with absolutely zero doubt in the story. But it got old super quickly. I actually physically rolled my eyes when he was like “Yeah its probably perfectly natural that this guy who said he was being stalked by spiders died a couple weeks later wrapped entirely in spider webs. Getting wrapped in spider webs is just what happens to dead bodies.”

So the ACTUAL FUCKING REVEAL THAT HE HAS BEEN FAKING HIS SKEPTICISM THE WHOLE TIME SHOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT MORE OBVIOUS, HOLY FUCK. I HAD TO PAUSE THE EPISODE AND PACE AROUND MY ROOM FOR A BIT TO PROCESS THIS. GOD ITS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS WHY DIDN’T I SEE THAT COMING? ITS SO FUCKING GOOD.

Having him immediately putting stuff together because he has been keeping notes on everything in his head cause he is convinced it is all real and tied together but doesn’t want to admit it out loud was BEAUTIFUL writing. Holy fuck.

Also Jon questioning if Martin was really a ghost that was haunting the Archives for a moment was great and got a really good laugh out of me.

#TMA #The Magnus Archives #liveblogging

[itspaiiseok]

What it got to do with me??

Jungkook X Reader

possible smut?

Friends to lovers(?)

Jungkook asked something a but peculiar

Just a draft I guess

Mention of bewbs

MDNI

It all started with “I need to see the real thing, for me to be able to visualise it better and produce better work!”

A knocked echoed through your room. You groaned and walked towards your bedroom door. Opened it a bit and there you saw Jungkook biting his pencil. He stood there with his shaggy looking comfortable white shirt that is too big for him, his usual sweatpants and a pencil tucked behind his left ear.

“What do you need Jungkook?” You said leaning against the doorframe.

Silence…

“Dude? It’s 11:30pm and i need to go to sleep. I have work tomorrow. Speak up, what do you want?” You rolled your eyes.

“You know… my job…as a…” he kept on dragging his words.

“A webtoon artist. Yeah? What it got to do with me?” You looked at him which he replied with an eye roll.

“Okay… uhhh show me your boobs….(?)” He looked at you in your eyes.

“What? What the actual fuck?” You immediately covered your chest. Not that you’re not wearing a shirt. But the thought of him saying that makes you cringe and a bit creeped out.

“Okay… no dude. Listen to me. I’m working on a new series and it’s 18+. I don’t know where I can find the proper materials for me to make a reference out of” He said tapping his feet on the floor.

“Man… there are literally millions of porn on the web! And also nude models? You can look them up.” You were still on guard.

“I need to see the real thing, for me to be able to visualise it better and produce better work!” He basically whined.

“Go get one of your sneaky link to… i dont know… show you their boobs!” You said huffing and puffing trying to contain your anger and maybe also embarrassment.

“I don’t have any.” He twirled the pencil in his hand.

“Besides, you owe me one favour. Remember? I killed the huge ass spider in your bathroom and you said you owe me one. I’m using this ticket and ask you to just do me this favour. Please?” He gave you that one look you always hated.

“Fine! But you can’t laugh when you look at them!” You huffed.

“I promise, I won’t ma’am!”

“When? I cant do it this week, I’m super busy.” You said yawning, the sleep is seeping onto you.

“This weekend?”

“Alright. Night Jungkook!” You said slamming the door in his face.

“Thanks dude!!!” He said walking away from your room.

Should I finish this? Let me know in my askbox

#bts #bts jungkook #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan #bts smut #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #방탄 정국 #방탄소년단 (bts)

[satorugojowidow]

Jujutsu Kaisen ep 149 spoilers, analysis and maybe theories about what Gege is doing

In my opinion it wasn't a romantic kiss, was a CPR. She was unconscious and the kiss came after Mao hited her chest. Is a CPR move to me.

About incest in Jujutsu Kaisen

First i will like bring this post wich im agree with it. Write about incest or abuse is not wrong. What is wrong is romanticize. In my perspective incest is not romanticize in JJK.

Mei and Ui: Mei character is built as someone who has no values or etic at the point where she doesnt even understand it. She even says to Satoru that she does not understand any issue not related to money. She is also potrayed like someone who only cares for herself and we saw that when she ask Ui to sacrifice for her and quickly left Japan in Shibuya incident leaving everyone behind and taking only the money with her (and Ui who is more like a tool to her). It is clear that she has an abusive relationship with his brother. Ui is potrayed like someone who is absolute caught in Mei web. I think there is an effort to show this relantionship like something twisted, abusive and sick. So its clear to me that there is no intention from Gege to romanticize it.

Maki and Mai: first i have to say that kiss looked more like a CPR than a romantic kiss. But i going for the way where this kiss is a romantic kiss to express my point. If there is a romantic feeling between this two (wich i believe not), we have to understand it in the context of their shitty family. There is high chances that cousin x cousin marriage is happening inside the clan. This interfamily marriage are common in clans, dynasty, etc., to protect to blood line and all that shit. Main clans in Jujutsu society are very interested in keep their inherited technique so nobody would be surprised that they practice this type of incestuos marriage. The fact that they look alike so much in Zenin clan could point to this. So Maki and Mai grow up in a context where incest happen. Also the amount of physical and mental abuse in them and the fact that they only have each other to gain support could make this incest feeling possible. As they didn't grow up in a healthy environment and didn't have anyone to teach them about healthy feelings or even love in any form (their mother is totally caught in patriarchy). Again, there is an effort to show that all the problems that Toji, Maki and Mai have are because their shitty family. If incest is happening here is becaue this two girls never learned how to love in a healty way and they are confussed about their feelings. If May really kissed Maki is more like she doesnt know how to express herself because she grow up in abuse and there is no single healthy relationship in her family to look up.

Conclusion: incest is not romanticize in JJK. Maybe need to be portrayed more like a "trouble", maybe. But i think is enough portrayed like a trouble.

Mai's death: I know everyone is hurted because her death. But, lets be honest. We could see that comming. I predicted in my JJK Oracle serie but is not like im super smart or anything, is something we could see comming from how JJK story is build and the meaning of pass deaths in the manga.

"Mai deserve better": of course she did. But I dont think this story is about give what people deserve, is not about make justice for them. Real life and real world is extremly unfair. A story with any kind verisimilitude would potray unjustice.

"Gege is killing all his characters": In the same line of verisimilitude if some big events happen like shibuya incident we can not expect that everyone comeback alive. If all characters always comeback is more like a plot armor.

"Pointless dead" "Mai's arc wasted": All dead in JJK until now have a meaning and Mai's arc was this one from the start. Let try to figure out this.

In the story Maki is the main character, Mai (sorry to say) was auxiliary to her story. Mai is presented to develoment Maki story. To go deep in the patriarchal structures of Jujutsu world and to present the shitty dinamic of the Zenin clan from inside. Mai personal develoment was to understand that Maki actions wasnt the problem, but her all family itself. When the break point comes (Ougi desition to kill both) she realize that live peacefull in the clan dont depends on her obedience, it dependence in what the clan need from her from a moment to other. That there is no way to live peacefully in such an environment. That is when she can finally understand her sister action, reconcile with it and her, and support her sister road. Sadly she can only support with her death. But she doesnt die like subordinate person (like she was in pass episode or like her mother is) she die free, she is not simply killed, she gives her life in order to save her sister and destroy the clan. She emancipates at the end. Of course is sad that she has to die, but again, life is unfair and this story is not about make justice.

In jujutsu kaisen "death" works to build the living characters that go trought that lost.

Suguru -> Satoru

Junpei and Nanami -> Yuuji

Also, it establishes the situation where the characters are. Like Yaga's death wich leave the students in their own.

"Kill another female strong character": Well, i go for this one. There is no much female strong characters so Gege do something for gender equality and stop killing them.

-------------------

In my opinion, and this is in some way a theory, what Gege is trying to do is reverse the typical shonen story.

He brought the typical elements from a shonen: a regular boy who discover that he is not so regular, lots of fights, power up, and even some kind of tournament (just to name a few one).

But at the same time Gege is slowly deconstructing the elements of shonen genre:

The hero is the strongest character and save everyones. We have Satoru is the strongest character and he fails to save people at the point when he realize that "save" dont depends on him. That is why he goes for the teaching/supporting role. Help others to save themselves. However situations keeps going in a way where he losses his closes people and he cant do anything to stop that.

So we can say this: in JJK heros cant save others.

In regular shonen the social structures are never questioned. In JJK we can see how those structures are the villain. We have the conservative structures of jujutsu society wich higher up keep against everything because their privilege depends on it. And the patriarcal structures. Even if JJK is stil away from being "feminist" is one step in the right direction from most regular shonen. Specially those shonen where the main female character is there just to be cute and she cant even speak her mind

We all feel like fell in some kind of trap in JJK. Because in firsts episodes we were like "oh, how cute and fun. look there is a speaking panda" and then we fell in angst. I think this is part of how Gege builds the story to reverse the genre.

Dont expect a happy ending, expect a end with meaning. Dont expect to see your fav getting what they deserve, expect to understand why they went through that.

And remember one thing: Yuuji death is not in discussion in the plot, what is in discussion is how he is going to live what he has left of live.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk 149 #jujutsu kaisen spoiler #jujutsu kaisen theory #jjk theory #mai zenin #maki zenin #satoru gojo #gege akutami #yuuji itadori #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen meta

[drivingsideways]

Misaeng review

Ok, it's been almost a week, so I feel like I can get my thoughts (somewhat) in order. As usual, I'm late to the party, given that Misaeng aired 6 years ago, and is already considered a kdrama classic. Still: thoughts!

(under the cut)

I came to this drama with quite a lot of expectations, both because I'd seen it on a lot of rec lists, and also because I'd watched director Kim Won-seok's Signal and My Mister, which are justifiably as beloved as Misaeng. I'm happy to report that Misaeng mostly lived up to those expectations!

The writing & direction work together to make Misaeng a very immersive experience, which is good, considering the entire run time is over 20 hrs. The level of seemingly mundane detail of the operational aspects of running a trading firm that they delve into (and other dramas might have avoided for sake of pacing) seemed odd to me at first, but eventually result in a world building that's incredibly well fleshed out. The (formerly unlikely!) high stakes of a misplaced piece of paper or octopuses in a shipment of squid end up being parts of an emotionally wrenching narrative whole fairly seamlessly. Still, at 20+ hours, Misaeng also does get into the kind of pacing issues that most of the slice of life kdramas I've watched so far have. And it didn't need to! I think it had a wonderful ensemble of characters, and if they'd maybe given a little more time and space to characters other than Jang Geu-Rae (Im Si wan) and Oh Sang-sik (Lee Sung-min), the mid portions may not have felt quite so, well, stuck.

But more than the strong writing and direction, it was really the actors who delivered. They made what could have easily been a dull-ish office drama into a heart warming story about human connection and the joys and troubles of leading an "incomplete life". I'd never watched Lee Sung-min in anything before, and about half way through the series I was like, HOW IS HE MAKING A SHORT TEMPERED, ALCHOHOLIC MIDDLE MANAGER SO SEXY? Like, serious props, dude. Lee Sung-min is by turns annoying and brash and too shout-y and stubborn and funny and so incredibly vulnerable as a man trying his best to live by his principles in a world that thinks they are an impediment to "success", that you forget that he's playing a fictional character-- he's someone you know, he's someone you've seen in the mirror.

His performance as Oh Sang-sik is very ably matched by Im Si Wan's Jang Geu-Rae. This series would not have worked if these two actors didn't have the chemistry they do, and play off each other in every scene. I had watched Im Si Wan recently- in JTBC's "Run On", in which I liked his performance quite a lot, but I absolutely loved him as the naive and endearing Jang Geu-rae. Misaeng, is in part, a bildungsroman narrative centered around Jang Geu Rae. Im Si wan brought a kind of vulnerability to the role that might have felt cloying and emotionally manipulative in the hands of other actors, but Im Si-wan manages to do it with a light touch. I feel he's one of those actors that uses his whole body in a scene, not just relying on facial or verbal expression, and it's a joy to watch.

Each of the other actors in the ensemble also bring that dedication and talent to their roles, even if it's in a single scene. There are lots of one-off characters that we meet during the course of the series, and every single one of them leaves an impact.

But! I'm going to pick a fave from the supporting cast and that's Byun Yo-han, whom I'd last watched as the broody, troubled (and very sexy) swordsman Lee Bang-ji in Six Flying Dragons. I can't imagine a character more in opposition to that one than Han Seok-yul in Misaeng, but Byun Yo-han just knocks it out of the park as the scheming, cheerful and mostly inappropriate clown with a heart of gold; Han Seok-yul is the definition of Chaotic Good, and you're equal parts horrified by his antics- which include sexual harassment dont @ me -- and yet charmed by him. I wish they'd given him a few more scenes and a larger plotline to work with, but I also suspect that he might have just walked away with the entire series if they did that. (Am I plotting that series in my head as I write this? MAYBE.)

Alright, this is getting a bit too long, so I'm going to get to the bits that disappointed me. That's really one major thing: the gender politics. I don't know how different the show is from the web toon it's based on, so I can't tell whether they made significant changes to the basic plot and characters. As in- I have no idea if the webtoon was as male dominated in every way as the show is, so I'm not sure how much of the show's treatment of women as a class, and its female characters in particular, I should lay at the door of the original writer vs the screenwriter and director. I'm also lacking the Korean context in which this was written and made and aired, so you may take my criticism with a pinch of salt, if you please!

That the show features mainly male characters is perhaps unsurprising and realistic, since we know that the kind of corporate life it depicts is very male dominated, top to bottom. The show also portrays the very real and horrific overt and subtle misogyny that women face in the workplace and out of it; mainly in the character of Ahn Young-yi, played with steely determination and quiet suffering by the lovely Kang so-ra. There are only 3 other female characters that have any sort of real speaking role- Sun Ji Young (played by Shin Eun jung), a senior manager at the company, Jang Geu-rae's unnamed(!) mother (played by the amazing Sung Byoung-Sook) and Oh Sang-sik's unnamed (!) wife (played by Oh Yoon-Hong, who's a delight in every tiny scene she has). There are other women who appear but in very minor roles, and often in "comedy" moments that often rely on sexist tropes to start with.

Anyway, right there you can see one of the problems- 4 women characters that have any kind of real screen time, and only 2 of them are named. Aigoo! Screenwriter Jung Yoon-jung is a woman, and like, I don't like putting the burden on any one woman to y'know fix structural misogyny, but I can't also help feeling disappointed that she overlooked even this "small" thing among the larger things.

But that apart, the main issue for me was that while the show doesn't shy away from depicting egregious sexism in the form of sexual harrassment, verbal and physical and certainly emotional abuse, in a manner that's clear that we are meant to be horrified by it--it falls short of depicting how women deal and work with it. It just doesn't give enough space to women or their worldview.

It's very comfortable depicting victimhood, but doesn't put work into depicting the ways in which women survive by finding solidarity with other women. We have a scene or two where Ahn Young-yi who is this show's poster child for female victimhood interacts with the older women who offer sympathy and understanding, but no real strategy or support. And yes, we see men also being targeted by their seniors for the grossest verbal and physical abuse; and it's men who help Ahn Young-yi strategise on how to deal with her situation. Real life experience tells me that it's the women who do this work for other women. I have certainly been on both sides of this equation, for one, and so has every woman that I know in corporate life. And yes, one of the show's core philosophies is that those who endure, survive--but it is none the less extremely painful to watch Ahn Young yi "endure" the kind of abuse she does as a coping strategy and a survival strategy.

At the end of it, when she slowly manages to gain the support of her sexist team, it's shown as a victory-- though naturally imperfect, because this show takes its Realism very seriously (right until the end where it makes a tonal shift into quirky that I was a little ?? about)-- and y'know, sure, it is a victory. And I absolutely understand the choices she makes and why she does it-- I guess I just got annoyed by the fact that other antagonistic figures in the narrative get a more straightforward comeuppance for their egregious behavior, but Ahn Young-yi doesn't even get a goddamned apology from her abusers. Instead, we have a half humourous, half serious moment where she comments on how she's working at turning herself into "someone cute"- because she understands now that sometimes the right strategy is to "go with the flow". Be the water that slowly wears away at the rock. It's an interesting moment- the men she tells this to are taken aback by her bluntness, but also a little clueless about what she means. It's the kind of nuance that I would and do enjoy. Unfortunately, it also closely follows one of the show's most annoying scenes at the tail end of the series- where it tries to play off workplace sexism and misogyny as comedy- boys being boys-Reader, when I tell you that I had to WORK to unclench my jaw--!

I'm not saying we should have a single and obvious narrative of female emancipation. I'm not against realism in fiction, but god, sometimes, please do remember that when we look for escapism, we are actually imagining a better world. The first step toward liberation is allowing yourself to imagine it.

And the show does allow other characters its moments of unfettered fantasy- Im Si Wan parkour-ing all over the rooftops of Amman- and having a semi mystical + Indiana Jones moment in the deserts of Jordan--so why, I ask, are the women not given that gift?

*looks into the camera *

Tl;dr: I enjoyed it, it made me cry every episode, and I cared about all the characters, and if you haven't watched it yet, treat yourselves.

PS. Yes, Han Seok-yul is a disaster bi, sorry, I don't make the rules. Yes, hotties Oh Min Seok and Kang Ha-neul are canonically naked in a hot tub six feet apart because they are bros. Yes, I will be writing the fix it in which they fuck like angry bunnies. Yes, I am going to put my shipper cooties all over this gen slice of life show, deal with it.

#misaeng #kdrama #thinky thoughts

[taki118]

List of Reincarnated into the Villainess of an Otome/Romance Novel Series I Like

Soooooo I’ve gotten sucked into the very specific isekai subgenre?trope? Of girl gets reincarnated into an otome game or romance novel she loves but is the villainess. It’s kind funny how similar these all are but at the same time so different. Now these arent all the titles just the ones I’ve read for at least a volume and like. (if asked i might make a list of the ones that failed for me). I’m gonna separate by types. and if you know of any other titles please do tell me.

Received Past Memories during Childhood

(The story starts with the MC remembering her past life as a child and growing up with the knowledge)

I Reincarnated into an Otome Game as a Villainess With Only Destruction Flags...

So this one has a good deal of traction since it has an anime adaption currently running, but I’ll be honest it’s not one of favs. This series is primarily a harem comedy and most of the jokes deal with the MC’s expectations from the game not matching her new reality and not realizing why, which can be very fun, if one note. The characters are likeable which is why I keep reading but I think some other titles on this list use the concept far better.  There is also a spin off version where the MC doesnt get her old memories until later in life and has to deal with the actions of the game character, but it’s fairly the same you arent missing much if you dont read it. 

The Villainess Want to Marry a Commoner

So in this one the MC isn’t trying to avoid a bad end rather she’s very excited to be able to romance her favorite NPC whom she wished was romance-able. (which honestly mood) I’m not very far in but it really takes the whole this is a game the furthest as there are stat checks and the MC basically carried over all the items and skills acquired in her past playthroughs.

Survive as the Hero’s Wife

A web series, this one takes place in a book and the main pair are married as children and the MC plays double agent for the series antagonist to keep her and the LI safe. It’s fairly involved with a larger cast of characters but I’ll be honest this is one of the titles I feel would be stronger if it was just a straight fantasy series, the whole Isekai aspect feels like it’s there just to make the plot move quicker. But all around a good read. 

Fiancée’s Observation Log of the Self-proclaimed Villainess

Now this one has a fun twist on the formula in that it’s told from the perspective of the love interest. Some of the faults other titles are plague with are avoided here as the main character himself has no knowledge of the world being a game, his fiance does but while she’s happy to tell him she’ll be a great villainess and get him a happy ending with the heroine she never tells him why thats so important so he’s left in the dark and thereby so are we. I will give a warning there is  bit of fat shaming in this as the original games villainous was chubby  but this version is skinny, like its not awful but its not the best implication that bad is chubby and good is skinny.

The Evil Lady's Hero

Another webseries set in a novel while we dont see the MC in childhood (save for some flashbacks) it’s stated she’s had her old memories since then. What I really like about this series is the MC’s personality and set up. So she died well into her 20s  and as such she is a bit more mature and levelheaded than most MC’s, her plan was to avoid the main cast of the books as much as possible but ends up drunkenly sleeping with the male lead leading to them dating. Her thought being I’ll just enjoy this for now and let him break up with me when he meets the heroine, all good. The pair play well off each other and I’m curious to see where the story goes.

The Result of Being Reincarnated is Having a Master-Servant Relationship with the Yandere Love Interest

Now this one has a lot of fun with this concept as there are two other characters who were reincarnated like the MC. Because this game had only yandere love interests even the “good” endings arent that good, the MC also has limited knowledge as she didnt get to play all the way through so she feels less omnipotent than other protagonists, and along with not being the only person displaced it gives the series a nice refreshing feel.  

Received Past Memories as Young Adult (The story starts with the MC remembering her past life after/during the events of the game/book)

I’m a Villainous Daughter, so I’m going to keep the Last Boss

So I actually really love this series and wanna read the light novel version. The MC regains her memories during the beginning of the bad end for the villainess and thinking quickly saves face to run off and find the main antagonist of the  game the demon king who happens to be a secret route on the second play through. Its a very fun read but gets a little dark in later chapters I wont spoil cause its good but there is an attempted rape scene. 

Simply Good Sense for a Duke’s Daughter

This one kills me cause the world building and characters are so strong and dense it’s actually weakened by the fact that the MC was reincarnated is really just kinda brushed off most the time. As you get more and more invested the only real purpose her being reincarnated into an otome has is like some ideas for products to sell and how to make things that dont exist in this world yet. Like I wont say I don’t enjoy it but I think I’d enjoy it more if it was just a fantasy story. 

Beware the Villainess

God I love this webseries. The MC is just a delight as she decides she wont be evil but she wont be good either. What I like about this series is it kinda plays with the fact that the setting is a trashy romance novel cause as the MC learns more about the main characters of the novel she finds that the descriptions in the book dont match up because it’s very surface level. Example a merchant whos said to be very smart and savvy in the books is actually rather easy to outsmart, MC realizes it’s cause the writer only ever wrote he was smart never HOW he was smart. I would def give this one a read its a lot of fun. 

For Certain Reasons, The Villainess Noble Lady Will Live Her Post-Engagement Annulment Life Freely

This is again another series I think would be stronger if it was straight fantasy. The MC of this story actually has no idea the world is an otome game, she was  nurse in her past life and uses that knowledge for the betterment of the land, (though actually its hard to tell if she was really reincarnated or just has the memories of this person) The story could have moved just as well if the MC was given like a medical textbook from a mysterious other world. But the characters are fun so its not awful just not one of my favorites. 

Reincarnated but not as Villainess 

I Am Troubled That My Fiance Is a Villain

The MC is reincarnated into an otome game with her memories as a child but as a side character, she ends up endearing herself and becoming engaged to the games villain character. Its very cute because she doesnt have to worry about a bad end she doesnt try to interfere much just keep those around her safe. 

Seduce The Villain's Father

Web series MC gets reincarnated into a novel as a minor character, as the story takes place prior to the events of the book she changes things to keep her new sister safe and uses the opportunity to try and avoid more tragic events. Its not bad I’d say the idea itself is interesting though its a little uncomfortable she calls the male lead “father” 

A Villain Is A Good Match For A Tyrant

Ok so this web series is kinda hilarious and I do have to spoil a little cause the person reincarnated is NOT our lead, its our villain. So this person was actually the author of the story, she had written a novel about a girl being reincarnated into the bastard daughter of a lord who gets engaged to a tyrant and has to pretend to be evil to stay safe from his enemies, and the author is so PISSED she reincarnated into a random priestess. Its so weirdly meta. The MC is the lord’s bastards and the events play out just like story only she doesnt get her body taken over. This series is very fun, cant wait to see how it goes. 

Anyway this is my list if you have suggestions for me I’ll check them out. Will probably make another list later. 

#manga #web series #isekai #I Reincarnated into an Otome Game as a Villainess With Only Destruction Flags #The Villainess Want to Marry a Commoner #Fiancée’s Observation Log of the Self-proclaimed Villainess #Survive as the Hero’s Wife #The Evil Lady's Hero #The Result of Being Reincarnated is Having a Master-Servant Relationship with the Yandere Love Interest #I’m a Villainous Daughter so I’m going to keep the Last Boss #Simply Good Sense for a Duke’s Daughter #Beware the Villainess #For Certain Reasons The Villainess Noble Lady Will Live Her Post-Engagement Annulment Life Freely #I Am Troubled That My Fiance Is a Villain #A Villain Is A Good Match For A Tyrant

[comicteaparty]

March 18th-March 24th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from March 18th, 2020 to March 24th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What device do you most often read webcomics on and why?  Has this affected whether you read a comic or not?

carcarchu

Typically computer but I will use an emulator to download a specific app if i need to. It's a real pain but if i want to read a certain series enough i will download the dedicated app it's on

Capitania do Azar

Oh I'm all for reading in the computer. Bigger view, more details, no need to zoom on things or have weirdly placed panels.. nice

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I read a lot of vertical comics yet I read almost exclusively on desktop...

eli [a winged tale]

On mobile! I do think desktop work better for traditional layout comics though —- but in that case I usually just buy the actual physical copy (best experience imo)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Computer or mobile. But I particularly love reading things on my iPad. Closest proportions/feel to an actual book, I guess

Tuyetnhi (OIYD!)

same on Computer or mobile, but I read more comic sites on desktop and webtoons on mobile

Feather J. Fern

I read mostly on mobile due to reading on transit or on the go. Computer is only if the website is large spreads or large pages only

Ash🦀

I read on mobile because I’m on my phone a lot at work (I finish my work much faster than everyone else so /shrug until they notice my efficiency, might as well relax)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I read on my phone most of the time. I am often reading on the go, and I don't like reading comics in my office, because that's the room where I work.

Kabocha

I'm a mix of mobile and desktop. If it's a new-to-me comic and I find it through a platform that I'm browsing on my phone, the website needs to be mobile friendly for me, or available through ArchiveBinge... Otherwise, I'll forget it ^^:;; Unless something about the story REALLY catches me. Desktop though? Eh, as long as the website isn't super slow, it's fine. Basically for me, the website needs to be usable on whichever platform I'm checking it out on. If it's being tweeted rather than rec'd by a friend, I would really hope it's a site that has been tested for mobile friendliness at least.

(also, if the website is mobile friendly but the comic's page-by-page style, setting the max scale is SO helpful! that way I can zoom in on small panels or whatnot if I'm interested. https://css-tricks.com/snippets/html/responsive-meta-tag/)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I prefer desktop because I can more easily bookmark comics

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Desktop -- I have ComicRocket bookmarked on my phone, but the only comics I open there are the handful that I remember are readable on mobile.

If I get the print version I usually read it, although some book designs are more comfortable reads than others...

RebelVampire

For me it really depends on what I'm reading the comic for. If it's just for personal pleasure reading, then I tend to do a mix with a heavier emphasis on desktop since I'll read it while taking mini-breaks from what I'm working on. Sometimes I'll read a bit on mobile, but usually the majority I consume on my desktop. However, for CTP comics, unless they're super long, I actually read those almost exclusively on mobile. For me personally just as the host, I don't consider that reading free-time persay (more like unpaid work time). So it's just more work after work. And after work I just want to be mush on my bed. So I combine the best of both worlds and just be mush on my bed while being productive and getting something done. Insofar this hasnt really affected comics I've read. Most of the personal ones I choose read okay on both platforms, and the few that I would've not read cause of mobile issues were much older CTP comics so I read them anyway and just dealt with having to do it on desktop.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I have definitely given up on a few comics because they were basically unreadable on mobile, but usually those comics that were unreadable on mobile were also pretty hard to read on desktop too (i.e. bad fonts, lack of spacing between words/letters, small type, handwritten text, etc.) I also read mostly webtoons/scrolling-format comics, so I usually don't have a problem, but I also read a decent amount of page-by-page comics that are also easy to read on mobile, so some creators just know what they're doing

RebelVampire

Yeah I have to agree there. That my personal experience is that comics that are bad to read on mobile were generally still bad for desktop.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Agree too. Font needs to be clean and the spacing needs to be good, and I'm fine.

Additionally, I both strongly prefer page-by-page comics and I prefer to read on the phone, so I want to be easily able to pinch zoom to dvelve into the details. Some web-pages break that by trying fancy navigation thingies, and that's usually enough for me to look somewhere else for entertainment.

And, of course, infamous mention to that one, now defunct webcomic, that gave you a "don't steal, don't copy" java script pop-up if you happened to click or tap on an image, with the results you couldn't scroll on mobile at all. That was a... less than ideal webdesign choice.

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

I am on my computer mostly, but I am so baad at reading, I am dealing with adultling haha

Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight)

I don't like reading things on my phone, but that's because my eyes aren't what they used to be. I prefer desktop/laptop optimized, page-by-page comics. Though the vertical scroll isn't a deal breaker, it's not something I'm a fan of UNLESS it's used in such a manner that it adds to the story. That is rare though, at least in the webcomics I've come across. Tiny fonts or hard-ro-read fancy fonts are an instant turn-off.

sagaholmgaard

I also prefer being on my computer, and reading traditional page styles over vertical scroll comics. If a comic is designed for vertical scroll it can be good!! But I'm really not a fan of 'breaking up' a traditional page for a scrolling format as it kinda ruins the composition that the creator worked so hard on :( and idk I've never been good at using comics apps on my phone, I just dont get into the habit of opening them and checking for updates. I'm much better at checking for updates on a webpage on my laptop.

Nutty (Court of Roses)

Last year for my birthday I got a Samsung Tab! It's good for drawing, but I'm still getting used to that part... but turns out it's also perfect for reading webcomics!! The screen has the perfect size to read pages, which I can do on the go as long as I'm able to connect to WiFi. I also have the Feedly app, which tracks RSS feeds for my fav comics and lets me know where I left off!

DanitheCarutor

Eeeh I'll read a comic on mobile when I'm on the toilet in the morning or riding in the car, but I prefer desktop. It's easier to read and see the details of a page without zooming in, also I'm just not much of a phone person. There have been a couple comics I couldn't read on my phone either due to the layout or font size, causing me to wait till I got to my computer, but this is a rare case. Most of the time I don't have much of an issue. Although vertical scroll comics with a ton of empty space in between panels are an absolute pain in the ass to read on the desktop, so much scrolling! Aurg!

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #reader favorites

[wackapedia]

Never Be The Same

A/n: Inspired by the song. I have so much feels for that song wow

Warnings: one or two swear words?

"I dont understand, Ben! You can just tell them that youre busy tonight" you screamed at your boyfriend, tossing a plate on to the kitchen counter. He's already upset you for the fourth time this week and its only Wednesday. You asked for a night in with him but he needs to be elsewhere for work or for events.

"I already told you its not that easy!" He answered, gathering his things as he prepared to leave.

"Its really not! I've been asking you for weeks, Ben! You could've just told me so that I wont look like an idiot having to wait for you all the time!" At this point, both of you weren't listening to each other. You were just screaming over each other's voice, trying to make the other understand.

Trying to make the other feel bad.

"Its not like I have complete control over everyone's schedules, y/n! You should get a real job so you'd understand what the fuck goes on in an industry like this." He said as he shut the door to your shared flat.

You were taken aback by what he said. He insinuated that what you do wasn't a real job and pointed out that you don't understand what he does.You curled up in your bed and cried hard. Maybe he's right? Being a supporting actor in a web series wasn't a real job in the industry. But still, he had no right to talk you down like that. How could someone you love hurt you this way?

The events that happened three years ago flashed back in your mind. You remembered how you packed your things and left the flat that night. You lived with your mom for a while before being able to find a place for yourself. Ben has never contacted you since, and neither have you. You just worked hard for yourself that eventually you forgot about him.

You were now preparing yourself to walk the red carpet for an awards show. You weren't only presenting, you were also nominated best actress for a recent film project that you worked hard for.

The moment you stepped into the red carpet, thousands of people started screaming, cheering your name, calling you over for a pose or an interview. You could barely hear your own thumping heartbeat.

Your PR manager hailed you over for an interview with a popular entertainment channel covering the event live.

"We have here the beautiful miss y/n!" The interviewer cheerfully introduced you. You started to feel a little relaxed as they asked questions from what you were wearing to what was it like filming the movie you were nominated in and you answered them enthusiastically.

You felt your heart race all of a sudden. You looked around the place and eventually looked at the other end of the red carpet to find your ex, Ben Hardy. The interviewer held your shoulder to subtly bring you back to the interview, kindly repeating her questions.

After the interview, you headed to the bar at the lobby to get a drink and to loosen up a bit. You were then handed some prompt cards by one of the production assistants. You read through your lines and found that your ex boyfriend was nominated for an award that you were presenting. You felt a little sense of pride for him. He works hard for his roles and takes his work seriously that he's willing to throw everything else away for it. Of course he deserved a nomination.

You tried to shake the bitter thought away.

You were now standing in the backstage, waiting for your cue. Your hands were cold and sweaty and you can feel your knees rattling. You reasoned to yourself that you had no reason to be nervous, yet here you are.

"Please welcome, best actress nominee, y/n l/n!" The cool voiceover and the little push from the stage manager startled you. You tried to calmly walk down the stage towards the mic stand. You read through the teleprompter screen everything you had to say until you were handed the envelope that contained the name of the winner.

"The best actor in a supporting role award goes to.."

The crack of the adhesive being ripped was audible as the room went silent.

You looked at the letters written on the sheet.

The lady holding the trophy stepped up beside you.

You looked up to the mic and read: "Ben Hardy"

You saw him stand from one of the back seats where he was seated,shaking hands and thanking everyone who murmured a congratulatory remark to him. You stood there on stage, wide-eyed, shaking, and soaking the envelope with the sweat from your palms. He was now up on stage and the lady had passed him his award. You were pulled to stand on a side by a stage crew.

He was about to begin his thank you speech when he made eye contact with you. He smiled and spoke into the mic to say "thank you" while still looking at you. You kept your eyes on the audience, pretending not to notice him. You werent paying attention to what he said until you were nudged to leave the stage.

After his speech, he was ushered to the backstage for a quick photo op. You quickly made yourself scarce as you had to prepare incase you won your nomination. Ben's eyes followed you as you exited the backstage.

"What's wrong with you? Are you okay?" Your manager stopped you in the hallway. "I'm just nervous, I'm sorry." You avoided eye contact and moved past your manager. You took your seat at the front row, left wing of the auditorium.

You felt like you were floating for the rest of the show. You noticed your arm being shaken by your co-star. You looked at the screen to find your name written across.

And "best actress" written below it.

Once again you were on stage, holding the award you've earned.

"Thank you to everyone who worked hard on this film, to our director, our scriptwriters, actors and to everyone who taught me everything there is to learn about the industry. I will remember this moment forever and keep in mind all the things I've learned."

You looked back at the journey you had and realized how far you've come. You started as an extra, worked your way into a webseries, got casted for a film, got nominated. You were young and inexperienced, yet the world gave you a chance. Now youre here.

You paused to take in a shaky breath and to gather some courage.

"This is for all the things that I thought were easy. For the things that i didnt understand because I was young and selfish. For growth and for maturity. Thank you."

There was at least three seconds of silence before the crowd roared an applause. You snapped out of your dazed state to see all the people you looked up to are now standing up, giving you an applause.

Ben was standing backstage, almost in tears as he applauded to you.

You were ushered to the backstage as the stagelights dimmed. Your makeup was reapplied before you sat for a photo op.

When the awards show finally ended, you were about to get in your car when a warm familiar hand tapped your shoulder.

It was Ben.

"Hey, y/n" he said, awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to another.

"Hi Ben! Congratulations on your win." You smiled genuinely.

"Me? I was nothing compared to your win! Congratulations! You deserve it more than anyone else." He said.

You smiled and nodded, and moved to get in your car, gathering the skirts of your dress.

"Y/n wait.." He said.

You looked at him, slightly startled at the tone of his voice. You raised your eyebrows at him.

"You know, we never really broke up..." He started. You dont know what to do with that information so you remained quiet. He continued:

"Well what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. For everything I've said when we... When we last saw each other."

"I forgive you, Ben. I wouldn't be where I am now if it weren't for that moment in my life. I never forgot what you said. And now I proved you wrong. I never held a grudge against you but I never would've been this way if it weren't for you. So thank you." You smiled to him and got in your car.

Ben was left dumbstruck as your car sped away. He realized that even if the both of you would become friends, he knew that the both of you will never be the same as you used to. He was dumb to let you go, but he knew that if you were really meant to be with each other, he will find a way back to you.

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy

[little-wintry]

So. This is Different.

((I’ll cut to the chase. I’m absolutely sick as a dog, but somehow I have enough inspiration to write something for my big WIP. Like, the big one, the series, the one I wrote three books for. Am I gonna write book 4 today? Probably not, but hopefully sometime soon. But, I really really really wanted to post this here [so maybe I can get a tad bit of validation] before going into a cough medicine induced coma and binging [bingeing? binge-ing? don’t fucking know man] buzzfeed unsolved. I will explain a few things below, since obviously context will be needed for this sad 3 1/2 page passage, but just know this isn’t your average Destiny Shit(tm).))

Before we begin, know that this is from my main WIP, Paladins, both a well-fleshed out fantasy series and a bit of a plot-mess sci-fi series. The character this is written in the perspective of, Jacklyn, is the Champion of a goddess, Mirsith. Unfortunately, said goddess also has an evil counterpart, Minsar, which recently was able to corrupt Jacklyn enough after the death of her brother. This lead Kata, Jacklyn’s wife, to go after her. This whole thing is the battle from Jacklyn’s point of view. Yes, it’s a little whack, yes, I’m crazy, but I’m throwing this out into the void for some validation and also im sick, have mercy on a poor dumb soul. And like, this is gonna sound weird, but spoilers I guess? I dont fucking know man maybe i’ll publish this someday and if someone somehow manages to come across this i don’t wanna be a dick.

-----------------------------------

There was a burning pain the back of her head. 

It had been there for what felt like hours, now. Pulsing, biting, sending spikes of pain through her skull. She flinched with every wave of it, white spots dancing in her eyes.

Her body ached. It was as if she was stumbling through a dream, a dream heavy with smoke and heat and blood, less of a dream and more of an all-too-real nightmare. She was a whirl of blades, and anger burned hot in her chest.

Who was she angry at? She couldn’t remember. Her own sense of self was beginning to crumble, she was now nothing but a name that escaped her. Grief ran in her blood, grief for a face that was… close? Someone she knew, right?

She couldn’t remember them. Why was she grieving?

She was fighting a shadow. Not a Shadow, capital-S, the mindless servants that plagued this realm otherwise. But… a shadow, a memory, a faint silhouette against the web of storm clouds in the sky, and words, scattered and fragmented, filled the air.

She pinned the shadow down. Something about their figure, the subtle feeling of the way they fought and the way they almost seemed to try to calm her, it was… familiar.

Her dagger hovered above the figures chest. For a moment, it was all silent.

DO IT, a voice hissed in the back of her mind. She flinched. SHE IS AT YOUR MERCY, STRIKE DEEPLY INTO HER HEART.

She paused. The grief was beginning to vanish, the hot anger solidifying into a chunk of ice within her chest. Her mouth was dry, her muscles aching, and her heart, her heart was beating softly, as if it was beginning to… remember.

“N-No,” She whispered.

DO IT, YOU INSOLENT CHILD. SHE TOOK AWAY YOUR BROTHER, YOUR HOME, YOUR LIFE YOU ONCE WERE HAPPY WITH. SHE DESERVES TO DIE IN AGONY.

Lies. This voice, this consistent presence she was feeling, was lying to her, had been lying to her, this whole time. She could feel it now - the figure she had pinned was beginning to solidify, the words becoming clearer and clearer.

“Because I love you, and I always will-”

“No,” She said again, stronger. “She, she loves me. She cares about me, she’s my home-”

NO! SHE’S A VILE DEMON, A BLIGHT ON THIS WORLD-

“It doesn’t matter how much you hurt me because I know this isn’t the real you-”

Her hands were trembling now, and though she couldn’t see the figures face, she could picture it, perfectly in her mind. Warm, coffee brown eyes, onyx-dark hair. A smile that could chase away the worst nightmares.

“Kata-” She said, the name finally finding its way into her mouth. “Kata, I-”

STOP! The voice boomed. Her limbs screamed in pain, and her violence solidified, taking her over again. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the knife, but her eyes screamed with hot tears.

The figure - Kata, her wife - was still speaking, the words still echoing in her mind.

“I know for a fact, that when this is over, when we’re sitting at home and you’re back safe in my arms, you’re going to regret this. And I won’t even be mad, because I know you love me back, Jackie.”

Jackie, that was her, her name. 

The world around her came into view. Desaturated, crumbling buildings, a treeline in the distance, and Kata, pinned to the ground, bloody and bruised, with tears drawing lines down her cheeks.

But her mind was not her own. She couldn’t move a muscle.

With every ounce of her being, every ounce of this newfound self and love, she stood. The knife vanished in her grasp. Opposite of Kata, there was a woman, black ram horns and a blood-red gown, scowling and furious.

You are Jacklyn Storm, a Paladin, a protector, a wife and a friend-

You are a queen, not a pawn.

Not a pawn in someone else’s game.

The woman with the horns - Minsar, a name she remembered, a name that filled her mouth with venom - still held some control, still tainted her words, but Jacklyn found just enough independence to speak.

“Maybe being a Paladin did teach me a thing or two,” Jacklyn said, turning. Her mind ran quickly, thinking of how to purge the influence in her blood.

As a Champion of Mirsith, Minsar can influence you as well. As long as Minsar’s magic is within you, Minsar will always be there. You know what you must do.

Jacklyn did. But the very thought of it made her feel sick.

She turned her back to Kata for a moment. “I’m sorry, love.” She looked down at her hand, bloodstained, but through that blood a faint light began to pulse on her right palm, a tattoo of a snake.

She turned, and watched as Kata sat up, and called her name.

Jacklyn could not listen. Her own power began to pulse inside of her, in time with her heartbeat. Somewhere, far from this realm, she felt a flicker of hope. And a flicker of fear.

She felt like, at any moment, the world could go out from under her, like her very consciousness could collapse. Her heart kept beating, faster, more and more energy surging within her like a thunderstorm.

You are Jacklyn Storm-

She remembered the first time she touched that Shrine.

A Paladin-

She remembered running into the midst of battle for her friends’ sake.

A protector-

She remembered her wedding and long, late night talks with Atalanta and Lupa, with the rest of her team sitting by her side.

A wife and a friend-

Her coronation. The tall white spires of Neptune and the throne with an amethyst inset into the headrest and her own crown, which she was sure sat on her dresser back home.

You are a queen-

Minsar’s rage was tangible now. The rage of an immortal, an insane one at that, who was now having all of her delicate plans thrown away in an instant.

Kata was standing now, trying to make her voice heard over the maelstrom of magic.

Far away, her friends were fighting a battle they could loose.

Far away, eight immortals were locked in cells.

But here, and now? 

You are not a pawn in someone else's game.

A mortal, a single mortal, is writing upon the currents of time and doing what dozens of others before her could not.

Minsar ran towards her, a fistful of destructive magic in one hand. Kata screamed her name again, and Jacklyn had to ignore them all. Her entire body now, was alight with magic, and Jacklyn sent all of it out in one final shockwave.

#ho boy #yknow i might take this down later #i'll probably get embarrased #also yeah i wanna publish this #wip #not destiny #personal #writing

[homestucky]

Davekat fic recs?

hrrmm wow i will have to think. ill probs just check my bookmarks which means i probably wont be able to think of many one chapter fics off the top of my head since i dont tend to bookmark them. also some that havent been updated in yrs i wont put here bcaus thats just frustrating unless theyre rlly notable and may come back i may not link them

also disclaimer that while im not super into smut so its unlikely im gonna recommend just porn fics, some may have some sexy times incidentally i suppose. also a lot of them are dave centric/dave POV bcaus hes my BOY

M.C. Escher that’s my favourite MC by Unda (COMPLETE)  is a wild ride and long but i recommend for sure, very well written n thought out. also check out the other fics in the series bcaus if i recall correctly there are some other shorter fics that unda wrote to give some background or develop characters. but theyre also really great even stand-alone! its finished now and i followed it the whole time :0. cw for child abuse and death 

Within, Without by reinkist (COMPLETE)  i actually read a long time ago so i dont remember it so well. i do remember thinking it was pretty great tho, so i do recommend it. i should probably go back for a reread some time. its just a really good meteor fic that explores everything you’d want it to, and does that well, u kno? its like the fic that u wanted to exist but couldnt find. but here it is!

Doc Scratch’s School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents by medical  (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED)is great, its like a multichapter magic/superhero au thing. its fun and characters in it are rlly well developed, like, i do enjoy a davekat fic which has a good and significant rose characterisation in there too. but theres some serious plot goin in in here too…. very exciting. 

To Be Taken Care Of by shitstuck  (COMPLETE)is good, its god some deep convos about troll v human culture and stuff, some rosemary too. bit of body horror but if i can handle it its not too bad. i just reread it lol. the epilogue changes the tone of things a bit n id be interested to know other peoples thoughts on that ;_;

Don’t Forget the Sun by Weevilo707 is rlly good but sadly NOT COMPLETE AND HASNT BEEN UPDATED IN AGES :@!! hope the authors doin ok  (EDIT: APPARENTLY the author is not planning on updating this one again, but i still think its a good read :^) )

Book Covers by turntechGeneticist717  (COMPLETE) is rlly great also!! big recommend. dave is lookin after a babby dirk as his big brother in college. i havent read it in a while but i remember when it was updating being like !!!!!!!!!!!Aaa!! also there are others in the series so take a look :)

The Truth is in the Eyes by AcrylicMist  (COMPLETE)is like a rlly mythological/fantasy interpretation of canon post game which is very cool????? like the world is sort of medieval or something but w the gods n magicky stuff. rlly interesting. , very dope again havent read it in a while and am running out of steam for ranting about fics but!! yea its sweet w an intriguing plot

The Eurydice Suite by callmearcturus  (COMPLETE) !!!!!!!!!!! i love this fic so much like its bonkers n i just. its like an inception sort of inspired au and i have NEVER watched inception but im just super into the concept. its just. a rlly amazing well written fic w perfect pacing and characterisation like the plot is like a beautiful spider web where time flicks back and forth yet makes perfect sense. theres such a sense of atmosphere. ive reread it so many times. also!!1111111 i love the dave in it, and i love the strilondes family relationsy stuff!! i also feel like it ties everything up rlly nicely despite having like all the main characters in it p much. hell yeaaaa. its my fav by this author whos an AMAZING writer like they just DROP U IN to the world with so much confidence and drop context and background in at a perfect pace so ur never confused but always intrigued. but often i find the atmosphere in their fics almost TOO intense u know?? like i feel like i wake up in a ditch after reading one like wh,,h who am i?? i hate using this word but the writing is weirdly like… “sensual” which i think means the writing is great, rlly strong atmosphere but im not  always 100% able to handle it. this one does not make me feel so dazed and its just.. yess

The Lucky Ones by daniomalley (COMPLETE) is another one i followed as it came out. a cool spacey au. sorry i cant think of anything else to say aaaa

Off Court by levvan (ON HIATUS?) is great tho strong themes of abuse from the start. not that none of the above have that if i havent said so uhhhh yea be wary of the tags i guess. but yes. 

three rounds and a sound by skitpost (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) is rlly great, like a magic school au. very excited to see whats gonna happen next :0

We’re All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We’re Sick Of Your Shit) byLandOfMistAndSecrets (COMPLETE) is TECHNICALLY a dirkjake fic but it has very cute little pastiches of other characters and the DK ones are very cute and well characterised

An Alien and a DJ Walk into a Bar (and Accidentally Start a Relationship) by Kadaaver (APPEARS TO BE ON HIATUS) i was p into when it was still updating. theres not actually MUCH relationship stuff yet if i recall correctly but still. good. and i enjoy the characterisation of dave being p socially anxious.

turntechGodhead is offline by forestknifefight (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) well relatively recently. i like this one a lot! theres some good beta kid friendship and some good karkat.

Astronomy in Reverse by PunkZucchini, sicklekind (ON HIATUS>??????) cute + features BIGKAT is i recall correctly

Bring You Down by acedavestrider (COMPLETE) idk what to say about this but thats not a criticism. its just a legit cute fic that is good for the heart. human au, earth n whatever. karkat is a student nurse!! yeaa! thats kind of incidental but i like it

Survival of the Richest by ireallyloveicecream (HIATUS???) theres not a lot of it but im so intrigued. some kind of a fae/magic fairy folk kinda thing

Californian Son by LivTC (COMPLETE BUT THERES MORE IN THE SERIES WHICH I HOPE WILL CONTINUE TO BE UPDATED ETC ETC) !! ok this one is kind of sexy n angsty and daves a REAL DICK in it but it rlly well written and i rlly wanna know more jijhihihu

First Contact by yesfir (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) !! its au but like idk scifi, humans having to make a deal with/coexist with trolls. space colonies!! this one is great… good character development and plot… does that great thing of pacing the revelations of the plot rlly gradually so ur like ! somethings happening here and i must know more!!!

Feathered by AlloftheFandom  (UNFINISHED, RECENTLY UPDATED) this ones exciting :3 karkat has only just been introduced to it. its like a magicky world w a bit of mild body horror so far. some good strilondes also… has anyone noticed that i need strilonde family relations in a fic i love….

Soulmates by egossweetheart  (UNFINISHED (fairly..?) RECENTLY UPDATED) this is a souleater au which i dont know a lot about??? but its cool, i am suitably intrigued. bit of body horror. idk as always check the tags. idek why im bothering to specify that. anyways,

 Vladimir and Estragon Cope with Their Trauma by Volo (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) afterlife au. so yea TW death. im into it tho

The Importance of Being Karkat by choicescarfsylveon (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) karkat has a radioshow, dave is kind of a dick. some parts of that change. i wont spoil which. theres something deeper goin on too…….. mysterios….

anyways here are some fics that i think are cool. sorry it took ages i just wanted to give it a good effort ukno?? its not an exhaustive list but its what i found. thanks to all these authors and hey, while we’re at it, all fanfic authors!! good work and i hope u all know how appreciated it is. anyways i have a headache so i guess ill finish this up. peace!

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #fanfiction #dave #karkat #ask #long post

[thotticus---prime]

Peter Parker’s Potential Perish

It was dark, and cold, and cramped. Just where in the world was he? Peter woke up disoriented, and it didn’t help that Karen was listing off his numerous injuries as he slowly came to. The first thing he noticed was that he couldn’t move his arms much, maybe a few inches or so before he hit solid concrete on all sides. He tried to raise his head and see where he was, see what building was crushing him. If he had a nickel for every time he was crushed by a building, he would have two whole nickels. That’s not many nickels, but it was weird that it happened twice.

Peter didn’t have time to worry about his lack of nickels though, he was too busy trying to breath and not bleed to death. From his spot under the rubble, he could hear the ongoings of the battle above him. God, they were above him! Running on the rubble that used to be a building. The building that was slowly crushing him to death with each footstep from above.

“Cap? C-can someone get me?” Peter asked with barely enough breath to force his words out. Sure, he was strong, but he couldn’t move the rubble on top of him when his leg was practically impaled all the way through.

“Pete? Status report Spider-man, what happened, are you hurt?” Peter looked down at as much of his body he could see and hummed before shrugging, forgetting that Steve couldn’t see him.

“Kind of? I mean- I’m not going to immediately die right? But then again I could be more hurt than I know and then-”

“Peter, we’re kind of caught up with something right now, do you think you could sit tight for a few more minutes?” Peter could hear the loud shriek of someone in the background. Civilian lives were at stake, he could wait.

“Okay, Cap.”

The next time Peter was conscious enough to talk, the better part of an hour had passed. He could feel a sticky substance surrounding him, and he had a bad feeling that it wasn’t his web fluid. Luckily, the fight had moved from off of the collapsed building and down the street a little ways. He took off his mask so that he could breathe better, but that closed him off from the comm. It was for the best that he couldn’t hear the battle going on, that would only make his senses go even crazier than they already were.

He could breathe at least a little better, but the pain was too much for him to handle and soon he heard cheering in the distance. Perfect. Great. Now someone could come get him. Peter slowly pulled his mask back on so that he could communicate with the team. He could hear swearing and yelling. “Guys, what happened?”

“Nice to finally have you back Spider-man. What happened, you missed your curfew?” Clint asked sarcastically with a hint of humor in his voice.

“Not exactly Mr. Lame Sarcastic Bird Sir,” Peter immediately responded with a hint of a smile before shifting in his small space again and wincing. “But seriously, can someone come get me?”

“We’ll be there in a minute Underoos, we got moved pretty far from where this whole thing started. Can you wait a few more minutes?” “Sure Mr. Stark, I’ll stay right here.” The few minutes turned to a few more until he groaned and closed his eyes. “Mr. Stark, where are you?”

“Almost there Pete, Karen is being a little finicky right now. Something’s blocking her sensors.” He had a feeling that the thing that was making it a little hard for Karen to work was the huge hunk of metal and concrete surrounding him. “Where are you kid?”

“You know that big ass building that fell down?” Peter could hear the chorus of language over the comm. Followed by Steve’s groan but eventual laugher. He could barely hold back a small laugh of his own as he let his head rest on the cold ground beneath him, he was too tired to keep his head up and talk at the same time.

“Yeah Kiddie, I can’t see you on any rooftops though. Where are you?” Tony asked as he landed on the rubble and began to walk around, trying to spot the teen in spandex somewhere in the surrounding buildings.

Peter wheezed as he felt sudden pressure on him. “Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark! I’m right here! I’m under you, Mr. Stark!”

Suddenly he felt like a real spider getting stepped on by a boot. The chatter in his ear died down so suddenly that he thought that Karen was malfunctioning. “Hello?” He asked after a stretch of silence. Then suddenly he heard a loud groan and a curse.

“You’re joking right? Right Peter?” Steve asked. Peter could hear footsteps running as he shook his head no before remembering that no one could see him.

“No? ‘M under Mr. Stark,” he answered as he finally let his tense muscles relax and his eyes close. “C’n you guys hurry?” His words were beginning to slur as he waited and waited and waited. That’s all he could do in this situation. Wait.

The weight finally got off of his back and he could breathe just a bit better. Distantly he could hear people yelling at him, but he was too tired to respond and simply let himself fall asleep. The team was clawing at the rubble, trying to find the dumbass teen who decided that he didn’t need to tell the team that a building fell on him.

When they finally unearthed him, he looked like he was run over by a truck multiple times. But, he was still breathing, and that was all that mattered to the team as they rushed back to the compound. Those that couldn’t fly were paired with those who could, Peter being carried by Tony who was being more gentle than anyone had seen in a long time. It was understandable though, the teen had grown on everyone in the short time he had been part of the team.

Natasha was teaching him conversational Russian, Clint took him on adventures in the vents that the two of them called vadventures. Bucky constantly baked him cookies and brownies. Steve helped him train, everyone on the team had a soft spot when it came to the stupid self sacrificing teenager.

When Peter woke up, the lights were too bright and the room was too quiet. He didn’t think it was possible for any place in the compound to be completely quiet like it was in this room. Upon further examination, he found that he was in a hospital room. The other thing he noticed was that the team was sprawled out on every available surface in the room. Tony and Steve were in a pair of chairs. Bucky was on a couch next to Natasha, and Clint was surprisingly asleep on the ground in a pile with Sam and Bruce.

Tony was the first to wake up when he heard Peter start to stir. “Hey Petey-pie. You know, you gave everyone a scare,” he said conversationally as he leaned against the bed.

“Sorry, Mr. Stark.”

“You don’t need to apologize Peter, you just need to tell us when something like that happens. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“There were civilians who needed to get to safety, I could wait for someone to get me.”

“You could’ve told us Petey, we wouldn’t have made you stay down there if you would’ve told us how bad it was.” By then, the rest of the team had woken up and were listening to the conversation in front of them.

“I was fine, Mr. Stark. I was okay with waiting there until you were done.”

“Peter, you should’ve told us about it as soon as it happened. We’re a team so we need to know when something happens to our teammate.” Steve argued as the others nodded in agreement.

“You know what? Maybe we need a better way for you to communicate with us. You young kids like texting, why don’t you ask Karen to text one of us next time okay? We would never leave you down there for so long Peter.”

Peter sighed as he nodded guiltily and sat up in the hospital bed he was confined to. “I promise, next time a building falls on me I’ll tell someone.”

“That’s good Kiddie, but maybe let’s not make this a regular occurance,” Tony said with an uneasy expression. Peter laughed as he nodded and sat back.

“I’ll try, Mr. Stark.”

Okay so this is part one of a series called the Peter Parker Protection Program. This is kind of why the program started. 

@keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars

#tony stark #peter parker #Bucky Barnes #steve rogers #clint barton #natasha romanoff #building collapse #sam wilson #ironman #spiderman #captain america #winter soldier #hawkeye #falcon #black widow #avengers #my writing #Peter Parker Protection Program #irondad #spiderson

[strayology]

About me tag ~

Rules : Answer the questions and tag 10 people

tagged by my fave kachuuuu thank youuuuu

(yeah i haven’t been on for a while,, i’ve been busy with school and i’ve been kinda feeling sick being on social medias but oh well what else can i do for past time?)

1. How tall are you?

I stand a wholly 162cm or 5′3″ (yeah i have always thought I was 5′4″ but I remeasured and I was 5′3″ ;-;)

2. What color are your eyes?

black like the deep dark abyss of a black hole :’)

3. What color and style is your hair?

black,, it’s straight and I style it a couple of ways depending on my mood or outfit. most of the time I wear it down or in a ponytail

4. Do you wear glasses?

yep i do,, sometimes I wear my prescriptions color contacts because my outfit looks better without glasses lol

5. Do you have braces?

nope never did, but surprisingly my teeth are really straight??

6. What’s your fashion sense?

I usually go for more of a sporty or girl crush style. I like wearing loose fitting clothes that are baggy and long (especially on the arm but my arms are so long so sometimes its hard to find stuff that are normal length for the body and long sleeves for my arms) but once in a while i wanna feel cute so i wear a dress or skirt or something, but I feel like i can’t move freely in those lol

and I do tend to dress more in a korean style (apparently that’s the reason why a lot of people have mistaken me as korean)

7. Full name?

ummmmmm... I guess this is the first time i’m admitting on here that my real name isn’t yumi...??????

but it’s,, Yumi Yee

8. When were you born?

October 24th, 2001

9. Where are you from and where do you live?

I was born in the US but I grew up in China and i currently reside in the US 

10. What school(s) do you go to?

As of right now i’m in a 4-year high school, but I also go to a career and tech school for my computer science classes

11. What kind of student are you?

ehhhhh the one that procrastinates but still tries to get work in on time. i mean i dont really like doing my school work for any classes i dont like, and I would procrastinate as long as possible and still meet the deadline. but for classes i like i will try my best to do work right away and perfect it (which usually make people call me a try hard lol)

12. Do you like school?

i mean i like it when i get to see my friends and learn about subjects that actually interest me and let me have fun in

13. Fav subject?

math, chemistry, foreign language (I took spanish), and computer science

14. Fav TV shows?

I don't watch a lot of shows but I watched The Office couple months ago and I love that

15. Fav books?

The Percy Jackson series (although I haven’t finished it oOps), the Paisley Hanover series, and i like quite a lot of poetries (I’m still reading some from these books I bought a while ago, but once I finish i will see if I wanna recommend or not)

16. Fav pastimes?

cooking/baking, reading chinese comics (I recently got into them and they are sooooo good), listening to music, watch youtube, online shopping, editing (sometimes), mess around with the html codes on my blog, and sleeping

17. Do you have any regrets?

bwahahah way too many,, but if those events never happened in my life I probably wouldn't be who I am today

18. Dream job?

being a translator or any jobs dealing with computer science (mainly web designer)

19. Would you ever like to be married?

i mean yeah, but I have never imagined my own wedding or anything but I do know I wanna get married at 28???

20. Would you like to have children?

yeah,, again i’ve never really thought about this because all ive been thinking about is what kind of job i want or how i’m gonna live with my friends or s/o after college

21. If so, how many?

maybe 1 or 2

22. Do you like shopping?

OHHHHHHH HECK YEAAAAAAAAAH,, i seriously think I have an addiction because i always wanna go shopping and I constantly want new clothes or go to the mall in general. and even if I dont get anything at the mall I like to try on different outfits and take pictures in them

23. What countries have you visited?

Well I didn’t really visit these countries but I did live in them,, China and the US

24. Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

literally every one of my dreams I remember is a nightmare lmao

I mean this dream isn’t really scary because it didn’t scare me that much,,

(BUT IM GONNA PUT A WARNING RIGHT HERE BECAUSE I DID TALK ABOUT BLOOD SO IF YOURE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT SCROLL PAST THIS PART NOW)

it was around when I was 8 years old. it was in my old house, and I was sleeping in my room and I woke up alone on my giant king size bed (yeah I used to sleep with my mom for a while because our room arrangements got messed up) nobody was home because I didn’t hear any sounds, but i saw on the wall that was next to me was starting to drip blood. I wanted to go out of my room to see what was going on, so I stepped out and saw the house was empty, and all i heard was loud dog barking noises. I was terribly afraid of dogs so i ran back into my room and yeah the blood was still dripping but i woke up right then

25. Any enemies?

oOps I have too many of them. I’m the kind of person who kinda knows what I want from a friendship, and also knows what I don’t want. So if I see anyone who has any of those traits I dont want I end my friendship with them right then and there. and if someone who i see is being rude, then I just remember who they are and never try to be around them ever

26. Do you have a significant other?

nope and probably never will :’)))))

27. Do you get along with your family?

for the most part yeah, I mean my parents and I argue once in a while over something stupid and I'll just avoid them for like 2 days to a week. but my siblings and I are super well now especially because they all posted something about us on national siblings day when I thought they wouldn't lmao

28. Do you believe in miracles?

I think I do,, I am a huge believer on luck and stuff. so yes I do believe in miracles and I think miracles do happen

29. How are you?

well today is easter and I was supposed to go on a date, but it got canceled last minutes and I’m kinda upset about it since I was dressed and all. but I feel bad for being about upset because the other person might be actually in medical danger so I tried not to think too much about it by doing photoshoots outside my backyard and i think I may or may not have a potential for stay selca day 👀 (I haven’t done a selca day since maybe october/november of 2017,, and it was an igot7selcaday)

tagging: @jxsng @hwangwhatjin @hwanginthere @sunflowerseungmin @honey-innie @jinniesmeow @wangjyunhao @ughh-m @fluffylix @hjsracha 

Of course youre not obligated to do this if you dont want to !!

#tagged !! #alright time to roll around and figure out what else to do #well i still need to find a ride to the concert :(((

[tumblunni]

I had a really weird dream involving Dr Maddiman. Its a shame i can barely remember any of it and also it seems i woke up before it ended? Like i just had this overwhelming sense that allll the plot threads were gonna be wrapped up any second now and then BOOM awake. So just a whole bunch of random stuff happened with no real explanation at all.

It was some sort of post apocolyptic setting i think? Humanity was in these small isolated cities fighting against some sort of invading army but we never actually saw the aliens themselves. And some part of my brain was like "it makes sense its the same rules as a hairdresser and the design takes cues from a pack of AAA batteries". I have NO idea what that means! So basically everythibg was super vague and undescribed and dream-me just had a sense of already being a long time fan of this series and knowing enough to fill in the gaps. Apparantoy this was some sort of adaptation of a thing id already seen, but id been told the ending was different and more accurate to the manga? Also i wasnt actually a person watching this show i was still the protagonist of the show yet i acted like i'd been reincarnated and relived this week a million times or something

ANYWAY the way dr maddiman comes in is that he was some sort of 'brilliant but dangerous' expert the government had hired to help our fight against the aliens. It wasnt really explained why he was.. yknow.. maddiman. Like is this meant to be that ghosts also exist in this sci fi universe? Was he a half alien hybrid instead of a yokai? Was it just human maddiman with the personality of yokai maddiman due to ptsd...? In any case he didnt seem entirely tethered to the laws of reality and nobody knew exactly how he pulled off all his scientific miracles. He was treated as the only guy who could understand the mindset of the aliens, but that also made him dangerous because he trapped in the delusion of everything being okay and fun and happy and he often did evil things by accident while having good intentions. But they didnt have anyone else who'd cracked the code of the alien weaponry so they had to put up with him. He was just sorta assigned a crack team of secret agents whose job was Be The Old Man's Friend So We Dont All Die. Dont let him realise how the world is all destroyed and such, just play along with his goofyness and try and remind him to do his important work while dancing around why its important. it was super creepy how he was locked up and gaslighted like this!! And he was all 'oh im sure when im done with my ultimate experiment i can go home to my wife and kids' and yeah it was implied here that the same backstory applied :( 'distract the old man and validate his false opinion that his family is still alive and waiting for him' :( poor sci fi madds :(

Oh also for some reason he seemed to be wearing elements of Adventure era Dr Eggman's outfit? But just the general style of the coat and the wearing goggles that he never actually uses. And he had a very warm and cuddly autumnal colourscheme

Anyway i was part of the Super Secret Grampa Cherishing Division whose job was to act as his assistant but also secretly be packing a bazillion weapons to neutralize him if he poses a danger to humanity. But i started to genuinely care for the guy and question the 'any atrocity is permitted for the sake of saving the world' philosophy of my bosses. Also it was just very weird how it was this post apocolypse alien fighting action thing yet i didnt see ANY OF IT cos this story was confined to this one laboratory. It was surreal hearing about all this stuff happening offscreen!

I think Maddiman's main project was some sort of dimensional transport thing using salvaged alien tech? It was just a door in his lab that usually led to a closet but if he got it working itd teleport us straight to the alien base and save the world. And a lot of it wasnt explained but i got this great sense that itd all come together with a great twist ending evebtually but then i woke up before i got that far. Same for the reveal of this maddiman's new sci fi backstory and soooo many other dropped plot threads. Alas!

So anyway: closet. Closet with one of those bead curtain things cos i was thinking about them when i fell asleep. It was supposed to be a teleport but when it malfunctioned it had really scary negative effects warping people's biology and stuff. I remember one of the test subjects was sent in for a five day trip to a specific alternate dimension but then when they came back itd been several years and theyd had to survive in a deadly wasteland and been mutated into a hellbeast. And maddiman had a huge breakdown because he felt like his recklessness and optimism towards this experiment had caused this mistake to happen, and he'd never realized just how awful the consequences could be. He was babbling motor mouth discussing theories for where it went wrong and there was something like 'we'd only tested it for one day trips and assumed that just programming two of them would equal two days but actually with each additional number on the screen it multiplies the days by 3" And there was something about like...the bead curtain was the machine rather than the door itself? Like trying it on a bunch of different doors around the lab to try and find a way to cure this person.

And there was some sort of artificial intelligence computer with the personality of an adorable lil girl, who helped maddiman do calculations and stuff. She missed the mistake in this calculation cos her concept of linear time and the limits of human organs was kinda undeveloped. She only existed within the realm of numbers after all, and didbt even have functionality to record footage of her human friends's faces. No idea wtf a human looks like! So maddiman was lost in his desperate grief of potentially accidebtally killing or at least mentally scarring a person and the government would probably kill them now if they saw they were a super mutant. And he was sobbing and begging this AI to help, his last resort was her maybe being able to see a brainwave that he'd missed. But she was freaking out cos she didnt even fully understand why maddiman was crying let alone what to do to fix it. Eventually she did manage to find a solution theough some simple different logic thing that she had from her perspective as a computer. And that person was saved but still traumatized and maddiman had a moment of realizing just how high stakes everything was and freaking out. He was like 'whats wrong with my head, why didnt i notice that, why was i so reckless, why cant i seem to grasp basic human logic that i need right now" Having a big existential crisis of 'wait how did i even get in this lab, where's my family and why do i seem to have superpowers'. Protagonist mission: hide all the goddamn mirrors to avoid this weird ghostgramp (...aliengramp??) from realizing he's dead (..or an alien??) and losing control of himself. And everyone was running around talking about 'containment procedures' and poor maddiman didnt know that if his panic attack continued he might just straight up be killed for outliving his usefulness. So the protagonist was desperate to help him calm down and it sucked SO MUCH cos they had to lie about his past and weave the web of deception around him again for his own safety. In the end they just hugged him close until he calmed down, and all the other employees were like GASP THEY ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE EVIL DANGEROUS SUPER EVIL MAN and protag was like 'i am 1% away from slapping the next bitch who insults this grandpa'. And it was super depressing cos once he'd calmed down he seemed to start forgetting that anything bad had ever happened?? And he was really panicking and scared cos he didnt understand why he was forgetting, and he knew he had to cling onto something important but he didnt know what. And then five minutes later he was back to haha cheerful nothing is wrong and i love doing my fun science in this room im never allowed to leave. And protagonist was crying the tears that this poor gramp wasnt allowed to cry :(

Also actually i think maybe he was a ghost AND an alien? Like he was a scientist who died in some sort of tragedy back when the aliens first invaded, but along the way he'd been infected so his body got back up as a twisted combination of human and inhuman. And this was something unique to him, like he just happened to have a genetic mutation in his blood that was totally undetectable in life but happened to mix unpredictably with this alien virus to turn him into a hybrid instead of just killing him. So the government was very interested in finding a way to replicate this and create new supersoldiers, as well as just taking advantage of this dude's confused mental state that granted him a unique understanding of alien tech that made him more effective than other scientists. And, of course, also made him easy to manipulate :(

And i also had a feeling that maybe his backstory was mixed up with Adventure dr eggman? Like here it seemed he had a daughter instead of a son, and she had a similar death to Maria Robotnik where she was assasinated by the government he worked for, and it tipped him over the edge. I think Maddiman-alien-scifi-dude originally died trying to save her from being used in some sort of experiment? Like she was already dying of a disease and thats why maddiman took this job to have access to powerful government technology to try and look for a cure. But when the whole alien apocolypse happened, the evil government decided to use her for experiments cos she was 'basically dead anyway'. Theyd just lie and tell maddiman she died of her illness. So this was how they found out that this particular family's bloodline had a mutation that let them form a viable hybrid with alien dna. They were turning this poor kid into a monster in the basement while lying to her dad about her being dead! And maddiman was about to commit suicide from having no reason to live anymore, with the hell of this apocolypse world and the false impression that his kid was already dead. But somehow monster-daughter sensed this or something and broke out of containment to try and save him, and when he saw her he was able to recognise her even in her twisted state. So when the soldiers gunned her down in front of him and fed him some lies about this not being his daughter, he just completely snapped. He tried in vain to fight back and take down as many of them as possible in revenge, but well he was just a simple round dad with no ability to fight a government. So he was unceremoniously executed along with his kid and they shoved the bodies back in the lab to continue testing. "Damn that overemotional science dad, he made us execute our most valable test subject! But at least this way we can analyze his corpse to see if the mutation is passed down on the patrilineal side." But at some point during the fight, monster-daughter's blood had splashed on her dad and gotten into his bloodstream. So the seemingly dead body suddenly got up out of the morgue and started sucking people's blood or something. And this led to the current situation where they have him locked up cos he's a valuable test subject but also hey he has 100% reason to kill all of us and we're screwed if he remembers his past. Also i think the computer AI thing was his subconcious attempt to recreate the personality of his daughter even if he couldnt remember she'd ever existed :(

Anyway at some point things escalated and there was this final showdown versus both the invading aliens and the evil governmebt guys. I think there was some corrupt greedy politician dude who stole maddiman's teleporter tech and sold us out to the aliens cos he wanted money and power or something. And probably predictably the aliens just threw him off a bridge after he gave them the thing, because seriously even this evil army thinks these government dudes are too evil!

So this big actiony event was happening and Maddiman was freaking out like 'no no no i cant leave the lab everyone wpuld be mad at me, i dont even know what its like outside this room' even when he was in the middle of being attacked by aliens. He was forced to face his repressed memories to survive, and he naturally had a massive fuckin freakout! And i think maybe when protagonist character was trying to protect him he accidentally lashed out with his powers and hurt them, and he was so horrified thinking another person he cared about was gonna die because of him. Protagonist was like 'dont worry gramps its just a scratch' but he'd already freaked out and run away into the battlefield to his heavily implied death.

BUT THEN at some sort of moment of dire need, he came back all powered up and re-memoried and was like 'i have every reason to despise humanity but im not gonna let more children die because of these damn corporate monsters (and also literal monsters which are infinately less scary)" And he did some sort of great sacrifice to save the protagonist at the cost of his own life, and it was super dramatic falling from a building into a lake of fire or something. While sobbing and smiling peacefully thinkibg "did i atone for my sins? Will i be able to see my family again?" As his smiling face sunk beneath the flames and the protagonist cried out into the abyss...

Aaaaand then i dont really know what happened in the big battle and i also never found out wtf the solution was to fixing the transporter thing or how the aliens invaded or any of the million plot points that were non gramp related.

I just remember that when we all saved the day and defeated the baddies we found that maddiman had actually survived and it was a big hugs reunion. He was like "OH YEAH i totally forgot i literally already died once and regenerated from it, and this was the entire start to my story. My bad!" *shrugs inexplicably not dead arms*

So yeah in summary im glad my brain summoned up a universe where my favourite sad granddad is literally immortal now, but also why did it torment him with an even sadder plot than his original one

#weird dream tag #the sequence with trying the teleporter curtain on different doors actually took up the majority of the dream #it was ridiculously long and i wish i could slap my brain and be like 'geez save some time for explaining gramp backstory more!'

[cynoplatonic-blog]

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[rhinointherain]

28-8-2020

if this type of high was a color it would be pink, deep dark hot electric pink, the color of romanticization, the color of everything you wish should have been but never was and never could be

-here i watched a video about physics-

physics is the study of our “existence”/“reality”/physical universe within the Everything (and thats why the study of Everything that “outside of” this “existence”/“reality”/physical universe is called metaphysics)

by studying physics/the physical world closely enough, we begin to see “properties” of the Everything, like we can understand the “background” within which it/its “properties” are situated by learning about how and why the physical world acts the way it does

“Life” is just really really complex physical processes, technically there is no “difference”/inherent distinction between “living” and “nonliving” “things”, some “things” just are more of these processes happening at once and some other “things” have less. when a living thing “dies” most of its more complex processes stop occurring and so the complex web of interacting processes which classify one as being “alive” cannot function anymore. and then eventually it starts to literally decay until all of its processes, even the ones that continued after it “died” such as its maintenance of its physical structure, no longer happen as their materials have been taken up by/used in other exterior processes. So by this logic Harris was right, there is no “consciousness” and there is no “self”, when the processes of thought (neurons firing in networks) aren’t happening there is no inherent “being”, at least physically there is not a “self” and the concept cannot exist, what we think of as the “self” might be a sort of “ blueprint “ of what about one “human”’s (human=series of chemical processes that make up what we consider to be a “human”) processes different than any other human’s. if i think of something does it not “exist” just because I conceived of it? what does it mean to be real, can things that are not physically real be “real” in their own way, so I guess it depends on what we consider “real” to mean.

and this is particularly why it’s difficult and awkward to address the question of whether the ideas i write down in my journal entries are “real” as in they are true or if theyre “fake” because I’m high and am convinced that things that are not true are true. how could they not be “true” if I think them, me thinking them means they are being perceived, even if they are not being perceived in the way that physical phenomena are. what does it even mean to “perceive”? is “reality” contingent on what is “perceived” and what isn’t? Is two atoms bumping into each other the atoms “perceiving” each other in the same way that touch receptors “feel” touch, or taste buds “taste”, or vision receptors “see” by “perceiving” light? why don’t i know virtually anything about what protons and neutrons and electrons are made out of. i mean i know theyre made of quarks and their differences become from the ratios of like different types of quarks that are in them but i have actually no idea what that means. i need to know a lot more things to fully understanding these ideas, like I need to find out what light is and what energy is godsh i feel so foolish and uneducated how have i been content to go through life thus far not even feeling the need to know????

And/or should be a word in the dictionary, it’s its own word with its own meaning not just two words stuck together

also remember to think about how your emotional and idealistic associations with being high affect the ideas that you have while you’re high, although now that i’m thinking about it, it is probably quite good to write about these emotional associations as i have been doing because then i can understand and analyze them more fully

I went back and read the paragraph i wrote earlier in this entry about what physics is an what the difference is between it and metaphysics, and it made me think, how could there not be a “GOD”? If physics/our physical universe/“reality” exists, then doesn’t “not that” also have to “exist”, just because it exists as a concept?Like what i was just talking about with what it means to be “real”?

Oh I sound JUST like saint anselm ! Didn’t he already say the exact same thing???? He totally did.

But anyway god IS metaphysics, at least the God that judeo-christian religion is referring to. God is everything that is not physics/the physical universe. so I think that with dualistic religions, like Catharism (the one i actually know enough about to feel comfortable discussing esp because there aren’t really any people today who follow it whom I risk offending if I misinterpret something about it), the two “gods” are the physical world (the “bad”/material/“corrupt” cathar God) and metaphysics (the “good”/“pure”/“heavenly” cathar God). the “gods” of Greek mythology and i guess norse mythology and probably many polytheistic religions (but i definitely cannot say that this applies to most or all polytheistic religions because i dont know enough about most or all of them) are, in the view of their believers, part of the physical world, so comparing deities/“gods” like these to the metaphysical judeo-christian “God” is kind of useless in a way because they are too different. i am not highly informed about the terms “yin” and “yang” but from my knowledge of them (like a few online articles or whatever) what i am talking about very much falls into this concept. yin and yang are physics and metaphysics. {i realize in earlier entries ive very foolishly used the term “cosmos” when what i really meant was “metaphysics/metaphysical reality/metaphysical “existence” (and once again, i am trying my best to use the right words to describe what i mean but as l keep saying over and over again, the words existence, reality, being, etc. need to be a lot more rigidly defined before any actual productive discussion about these ideas can occur)}, but anyway, “metaphysics” and “physics” are yin and yang.

so yes sure i guess the greeks, for example” “worshipped physics”, although that’s not to say they didn’t have a lot of things “wrong” (according to our modern perspective) about how it worked, but according to their understanding of the physical world lightning bolts got made by a dude named Zeus, that was physics to them. Christians, Muslims, and Jews, as example, “worship metaphysics”, which is no less “rational” than worshipping “physics” because like how stupid to you have to be not to “believe” in metaphysics right? they are both “things” that “exist” because they “exist” as “concepts”. they are just different, and either “religious” approach may be varying degrees of “right” or “wrong” in their ideas of things and how they work (although again, what does that even mean, what does it mean to be “true” or “not true”, but anyway), but like one example is the question of whether the way in which ppl use these religions to interact with physics or metaphysics (like setting up altars, making sacrifices, consulting oracles) is “effective”, like does it “do what they think it does” ie have an effect on either physics or metaphysics and how the two “interact”, or help you learn something about it etc?

So i guess by this logic a dualist outlook on “religion” resemblingthe Cathars (and i THINK the zoroastrians too from what i understand about their beliefs), ie metaphysics and physics and the interaction between the two, is the most all-encompassing perspective on what “Existence” “Is”. Thats not to say anything about the ritual aspect of any faith, i really don’t know which one is most “accurate” or if any of them are at all. So guess i am a Dualist now??. But then again, it would definitely be also helpful to explore the outlooks provided by other religions to see what they have to say, and whether they incorporate elements into their understandings that are useful to think about. like i feel like i know some facts about hinduism as in i could tell you some things that hindus believe, but i don’t have a “deep” enough understanding of the religion to tell you what aspects of their belief deal with physics and/or metaphysics. like what i would guess about it from my understanding is that it kind of deals with both? like Brahman is almost certainly metaphysics {and actually in many ways has a more “accurate” and wide-encompassing understanding of what “metaphysics” “is” than most other religions i have heard of}, and nirvana is attaining the union of the two? {like obviously not the union of the whole entire physics and whole entire metaphysics but like, within one’s self? [again, im not sure if the “self” does “exist” in the physical world and am inclined at the moment to think that it doesn’t, even though the things that “make it up” (ie your neurons and the “thoughts”/firing patterns they create) are part of the physical world. although AGAIN that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t “exist”, because one can conceive of it, or because it is part of metaphysical “existence”, or both? Or neither??] Or is nirvana like, you become aware of where “you” are within the whole conglomeration of the two, and are able to understand more about everything because of this? In a way i think it might be both, i should think about that more in the future.} Isn’t Brahman said to like, “be present” in the physical world, like in each individual thing ?does this mean that hinduism deals primarily with the interaction between physics and metaphysics? Rather than focusing on the two as “equal” but “opposite” concepts like the Cathars or zoroastrians. Again I’m really not comfortable making a whole bunch of analysis on hinduism, even after learning a bunch about it i still have a hard time understanding what their gods/deities are supposed to be/represent in relation to all this.

Ok yeah i had a helpful thought: I think the reason I am struggling with the definition of “existence” is because im not sure whether im using that word to refer to physical existence, or the combination of both “physical” and “metaphysical” existence. Same with “reality”.

i NEED to establish a glossary of terminology in order to be able to analyze anything further in a meaningful way! i think i am at the point where i can actually start to do this or at least try!

am realizing now that one of the chief questions i’ve been grappling with in these entries is “what is metaphysics”, as have scientists, shamans, theologians, priests, psychonauts etc for centuries and millenia before me. idk being able to concretely state what i am asking might be helpful in charting a course of thought

So how does the idea of physics vs metaphysics relate to the “space-time continuum” that i was talking about in earlier entries? So we have our physical universe that you and i “exist” in, and the “multiverse” which is every other possible universe along an infinite infinity of infinite axes, but is metaphysics the “multiverse”, or is metaphysics somehow what is “outside the multiverse”? how could you even understand what it meant to be “outside the multiverse”? fuck this is really difficult to think about. hmmmm i don’t think there can be an “outside” the multiverse because the multiverse is already everything that is “outside” the universe. right, because the multiverse is infinite in an infinite number of directions and not “bound” so it is not something outside of which anything can be conceived.

yeah okay and this makes sense with the saint anselm thing, because if you can think of “something”, your conception of what that “something” is is bound by your definition of what you conceive that “something” to “be”. and if you define metaphysics as “the Stuff that is Not Physics/Not Our Physical Universe”, that mean metaphysics exists because it is the like, antithesis of physics, so it doesn’t exist in the same way that the physical universe does but that doesn’t mean it isn’t “real”. Like how in a mirror there can’t be a reflection of something that isn’t physically there to be reflected, but that doesn’t mean the reflection “isn’t real” too.

I’ve been typing for over two hours, i think i should take a rest lol.

Do you think its possible that certain elements of fashion, popular culture, etc come back into style every 20ish years (?) because the people who are the most influential in determining trends at any given time internalized the trends of 20ish years ago as what it meant to be “cool” when they were at the age of learning what “cool” was and so they bring those trends back either consciously or subconsciously?

#journal #aug 2020 #🌿